Tales of a Gatomon

        Throughout the world there are people that when someone sees them they just stop and think ‘Oh my god that guy is amazing I just HAVE to hang with him!’

I am not one of those people.

I’m one of the people look at and think’When the hell did he get here?’

Now would probably be a good time to explain my looks to whoever/whatever the hell is reading this. I’m a guy, about 5’10 and 165 pounds, with pale skin, black hair and dark brown eyes.  Names S, though you’ll probably stop caring about this and forget it. Asshole.

I lived a bland life with nothing to important happening to me, no major deaths in the family, no heart wrenching break-ups, no life changing injures and no crappy job to complain about. I had a small one rom apartment. And by that I mean their was one large room and a bathroom the size of a phone booth. The whole place smelled like cabbage no matter what I did, it fucking sucked. But hey, it was mine and I loved it.

My life lacked a certain flare that others had, the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge was my love of sculpting. I just loved the feel of clay between my fingers, taking a shapeless blob and making something wonderful. People said I sucked but they were just blind to my art.

Then one of my many acquaintances showed me a certain cartoon about colorful equines.

So your probably thinking, ‘Okay so this jerk just made me read seven paragraphs about himself and bored the hell out of me, just to go with the whole ‘life sucked till I saw my little pony’ clique'? Lame.’

Well you’re wrong. He introduced it to me and I immediately wanted to tear my eyes out with a rusty spoon that was covered in acid and then poor salt in my gapping sockets.

Dear Athiismo it was terrible. The colors, the puns, Pinkie Pie. Ughh, Pinkie Pie, just hearing her voice made me want to puke. The only thing I liked in the show was that Trixie chick, and even she was still annoying with that whole third person thing. At least I got away after the second episode.

Anyway you’re all wondering when I’m gonna stop complaining and tell you the interesting part, right?

Well that’s right now, assholes.

The sun was shining and the birds were singing and all I wanted was for it to end. God I hate mornings, the only reason that mornings to exist was to annoy the hell out of people like me who hate to wake up early.

Groaning in annoyance I rolled onto my side so as to attempt to hide from the accursed sun and hopefully get more sleep, however my efforts were in vain as my thrice damned alarm went off.

Rubbing my eyes I opened them, and unleashed a manly scream.

Sitting on my microwave which I kept on the dresser near my bed and eating one of my  peanut butter cups was some kind of mutant demon goat. It opened its mouth as though to speak but he suddenly found his mouth full with the barrel of my gun.

BAMM!

“Gah!!! Sweet chocolate milk that hurts! Why would you do that? ” He was cut off yet again as I fired yet another bullet into his head. And another. I just kept firing until I emptied my clip. Then I threw my gun at him and tried to run for it, however I found that I couldn’t move five steps from my bed.

“The hell?” I attempted to yell as I struggled to release myself from my invisible bonds, however he somehow locked my jaw as well. The mutant demon goat slithered in front of me with a pissed off look on its face.

“What in my name was THAT for?” the demon thing yelled in my face. “Phft, whatever.” The thing said taking a sip from a glass that I was one hundred percent sure that he didn’t have in his lion like hand before.

“Mphp hmp hmpp mph hmp?” I managed to mumble through my magically sealed jaw.

“Ah,” the thing began to reply as though it could perfectly understand me,”Allow me to introduce myself. I am Discord, spirit of disharmony and god of chaos.” I had the impression that I was supposed to be impressed. I was, and also scared as hell. ”And you, my fine fellow, have been chosen to be dragged into Equestria for no other reason than to amuse me.”

Discord, if that is his real name, made a pose with his hands exposed flailing around wildly with an excited look on his face while confetti fell from nowhere behind him.

“Now,” began my captor,” I was going to be nice and let you pick what form you would appear in Equestria as, since humans can’t survive there, but since you shot me I’m going to do this.”With a snap of his fingers, which I noticed had the look of an eagle’s claw, one of those giant fair wheels appeared behind him.

He skipped over to it before saying,”On this wheel is the silhouette of every Equestria compatible creature you have ever seen, heard of or read about. Whichever it lands on you will be forcefully turned into, given the barest of ideas on how to control that form, have a slight personality change then thrown into my home dimension, doesn’t that sound exciting?”

Without waiting for a response the mad beast spun the wheel make it go round in a blinding display of colors. This display of colors on top of the anxiety I was already feeling made me feel like I was about to have a seizure. ‘I think I’m gonna puke.’ I thought as I helplessly hung in the air. It felt like forever before the wheel slowed to stop on a bright white card.

“And we have a winner!” Discord exclaimed, somehow changing into a game show host attire in less time than it took me to blink. ”You shall now and forever be a, drum roll please,” a drum rolled by, chased by a mini Discord,” Gatomon! Whatever the cotton candy that is! Good bye, and tell sun but hello for me!” And then he snapped his fingers.

And the world went aquamarine.

‘Fuck me with a rusty spoon.’

Having the information that is vital for my survival in my new body forcefully shuved into my head was not pleasant, in fact the whole process of having my body transformed was completely painful. My tailbone expanded, overall body shrank, ears moved and expanded and my eyes widened to an impossible degree. Overall though, the most painful part of my forced transformation was the hair. It busted through my skin like, well I don’t know what it was like but it sure as hell was painful.

I don’t know how long it took me to transform, nor how long or when I fell unconscious but the next thing I knew I was lying on my back in some kind of cottage surrounded by birds and other foresty creatures. And a yellow pony with wings and a pink mane.

And I was in a cage.

A FUCKING CAGE!

“Why the hell am I in a cage?!?!?!” I screamed quietly so as to not alert my captor, but wait a second…”The hell is wrong with my voice?” My voice was higher than it used to be and much softer and feminine. As if it heard me the pony turned around and slowly trotted over to me.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you awake, Mrs. Cat.”