I get a break

by xCloudx

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance, Adventure, Sex, Big Macintosh, Gore, Princess Celestia, Main 6
Length: 22658

Cloud the second Guardian is given a very long and deserved vacation after 900 years of battling demons monsters slaying dragons and rampaging through houses for rupees his boss AKA Author decides its time for him to rest but where cloud doesn't know but he will love it as the author said. Also I thank my girlfriend for the wonderful cover art (megustaed everywhere when i saw it)

Published 2012-02-25 05:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-01 01:03:04 UTC

Explanation and a scooter

“NO NOT THIS AGAIN!” Is all I could yell as I fell through the vortex? Wait you don't even know my story. Huh guess I should explain all this vortex nonsense to you shouldn’t I? Well im the Guardian. Guardian of what you ask. Guardian of Worlds, Realms, Universes, Dimensions, and time. Yea it’s a a lot to keep up with but a fun job but a burden. I’ve been at this for over 900 years and by god it sucks. I have been shot at so many times stabbed thrown out of cars thrown off horses nearly devoured. The list goes on and on of the times I died.

But I can’t die I can only be hurt I regenerate my health just like a video game character. Guardians are immortal like I said but they can pass the burden on to somebody else and well. That’s what happened to me. Still searching for that bastard and when I do I am going to just….stick a blender in his ass.

Ah you’re probably asking yourself right now “How did you become the guardian?” Well it wasn’t by choice guardians as I said earlier can pass the burden to innocent nobodies like me. So grab some popcorn and I will tell you about the unlucky day I became the guardian. Well I was walking on my way home from my school like I do every day to hear a cry for help. Being me I am a good person just a bit of a smartass. I dashed for where the cries for help were coming from. I stopped at an alley and looked down it. I could see a kid about my age getting his ass handed to by a couple of other kids. “Hey leave him alone!” is all I could yell. They all looked at me and laughed.

Well fuck im in this now. I begin to walk down the alley way with my fist clenched. One of them came at with a haymaker. I ducked and uppercutted him as hard as my fragile lady like manly hands would let me. It must have been pretty hard because he fell straight on his ass and was out. I felt like batman until one of them got me with a right hook in the jaw. I stepped back a bit and readjusted my glasses and brushed my black hair out of my eyes.

I was rushed once again by one of them. Shit is all I could think. I quickly got into a kicking stance “SPARTA!” I yelled as I kicked my foot as he ran into it right onto his family jewels. He hunched over and grunted in pain. I pulled back my foot and punt kicked him in the jaw causing him to fly back a bit. I looked at the last guy. Big mean and did I mention big? Well he wasn’t very fun one to fight least it was one on one. Well it was a fair fight until he pulled out a huge knife. Well fuck im going to die now is all I could think.

He charged at me with furious speed preparing to swing the blade. I yelped and dodged the blade rolling into some trash cans. This is where I got really lucky. He looked at me with enraged eyes I could have sworn that they were red but I didn’t pay much attention. He threw the blade at me full speed almost as fast as light I thought. It impaled me right through my hand “MOTHER FUCKER!” is all I could yell as I felt the blade pierce my skin and tear through the muscle.

Oh my god oh my god is all I could think. I looked at the big burly bastard. Well I would have but him and his friends were gone. Still in pain I managed my way to the victim. He looked like he was dead but I could tell he wasn’t. I knelt down and I was grabbed by the throat. “You have proven yourself worthy mortal.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!?!?! “You shall be the second guardian.” Before I could ask a question there was a bright glow outlining me and him?

I closed my eyes tight refusing to look. Well being me I opened them anyway. I was surrounded by nothing but white. “OH MY GOD IM DEAD!” I yelled. “Not dead just in my home.” Replied a harsh voice. I looked around “What Who!??!” I just couldn’t comprehend this. “Most people cant. Can’t believe he actually found a replacement.” Replacement…. Wait. Guardian that guy oh my god. “Replacement? Replacement for what!??!?!” I quickly sputtered. “Ha he didn’t tell you did he?”
“No.”

“Well my dear boy you are the replacement for the Guardian.”

“The guardian?!?!”

“Yes”
“GUARDIAN OF WHAT!?!??!” I screamed “You are the Guardian of Worlds, Realms, Universes, Dimensions, and time” Just no. “You got the wrong guy I can’t do this.” The voice only laughed. “TO BAD! Now let’s get you a name your weapons watch bracelets and get you ready for your journeys!” before I could reply I was thrown into a room. “Now here your will be able to choose and make yourself. Now what will your name be?”

I thought long and hard. “Cloud” “Alright then now we cant just have you wearing that muck time to pimp you out boi!” Wait what pimp me out!?!? I looked down at my jacket and pants. I looked fine. “Now give me a second child and I will prepare some clothes for you.” Within a second clothes were laid out in front of me. Red and black were all the colors. I slipped on the red and black converse. Next was a black shirt and a red tie Slipped on the jacket. “Wow you got style. Going to give me your name?” It was silent for a moment.

“Just call me author. Now put these head phone around your neck and take this iPhone and bracelets.” I was hesitant at first but I decided to grab them. “So what kind of stuff do guardians do?” I asked stuffing the phone in my pocket. “Well they go through worlds and whatnot solving their problems the last one only lasted about 100 years. He was a stubborn person never could trust him looks like you were the unlucky person to save him and prove yourself.” I processed that for a moment.
“Will I ever be able to see my family and friends again?” I asked quietly.

“Most likely not it’s a burden but I assure you that you will meet new people and be able to see them again.” I processed this for a long time. “So what you’re telling me is that I am immortal and I can travel through time and go to different worlds?” “Eeyup.”I stood there for a moment. “FUCK YEAH LETS GET STARTED!” the voice grew quite. “You actually want to do this!?!” it replied voice full of surprise “Hell yeah I do this sounds amazing!” I regret those words a little.

Ever since that moment I started being the guardian I told myself I would find that man and stick a blender in his ass as I said before. And the author was right I did meet a lot of new people I learned new things I did good things. Also I did some rather weird things that I rather not get into. But nonetheless I love being the guardian and hate it. But I could never pass the burden on to somebody else and have had them experience the hell that I have been through. Ah yes now back to me falling through the vortex.

Vortexes are not a fun thing to fall in. They make me sick and nauseous and I will never get used to the feeling of being thrown around time and space. I screamed the manliest scream and I have 900 years to practice. And I still scream like a 5 year old girl and that’s the unfortunate part about taking the spot of a guardian at being 18. I flung my arms around I have done this millions of time but this time it felt different.
A cool breeze hit me. I snapped open my eyes. I was falling fast. “EVERYTIME I HATE YOU AUTH-“I was cut off as I smash into the ground. I rolled in pain just because im immortal doesn’t mean I can’t get hurt. “I SWEAR TO GOD AUTHOR YOU NEED TO STOP DOING THIS TO ME!”

I could hear a faint “no” coming from the sky I smiled and brought myself to my feet.
My phone began ring I quickly yanked it out of my pocket and answered it “Yea boss?” the voice laughed “Don't call me boss I told you call me author how many times to I have to tell you that?” we both begin to laugh “Alright where did you send me now?” it grew silent “Well cloud you have been doing this longer than anyone so I thought you may want a break a LONG break.” I fell silent. Author has never given me a break never.

“Well thank you but where did you send me?” author laughed again “Cloud when you find out you’re going to love me!” he hung up the phone. “how rude author” I smiled and shoved the phone into my pocket. Okay surroundings blue sky big sun lots of color. Crap I can’t guess this one. I begin to trudge through this colorful meadow. “By god this place is beautiful and so peaceful.”
I spent a good half hour walking till I find a road. Just then my phone begins to vibrate. I quickly yank it out and answer it. “Yea?” I could hear snickering over the phone “Hey cloud what’s broken and crying?” I stop myself. “I swear to god author I-“He cuts me off and yells “YOUR LEG!” just then I could feel my leg bone breaking and screams of terror.

I am flung a few feet from where I was standing “OH MY GOD AUTHOR YOU SUNAVBITCH!” I scream holding my leg as it heals. I push up my glasses and look at what just hit me. A scooter. A FUCKING SCOOTER BROKE MY LEG! By god I’ve been through hell and back (literally ask Dante!) disemboweled and smashed so many times. But the scooter wasn’t the part that surprised me it was the three things riding it.

Three little fillies riding a scooter. Now I have seen some weird stuff but this sort of tops it all off.

The Crash

I just stared at the three little dazed fillies. There was a little orange one with wings and a purple mane sort of looked like a chicken. The white one had a unicorn horn I smile remembering the acid trip I had with Neil Patrick Harris. Those were the days but I was young wait I still am. And the last one had a buttered colored coat with a dark pink mane a big bow. They all stared at me. Now being 900 I have been stared at plenty of time in disbelief and scariness. But this stare was different like they were excited.

I got onto my feet towering over them they still stare at me with excitement in their eyes. “WE CAUGHT A MONSTER!” yelled the orange one. “Im not a monster im many things but a monster is not one of them!” I retorted feeling being hurt. “It can talk!?” the white one nearly yelled. My feelings were being hurt author y u gotta make me feel bad bro? “Will you stop it I have feeling you know!” I replied harshly

They flinched when I said that “Sorry about the tone just im on vacation didn’t expect to be insulted by three little fillies.” They all looked at me “Vacation? From what?” I stopped for a moment “I will tell you later now call me cloud. Now let me answer all your questions and give me your names if you would I don't always want to refer to you as the orange one are the yellow one are the marshmallow.”

“Mah name applebloom!” replied the yellow one “Im scootaloo!” replied the chicken “Hi im sweetie belle!” they stopped for a moment and looked at each other “AND WE ARE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSDAERS!” they all screamed at tones that would make a deaf man hear again. I held my ears and fell to my knees screaming “AGGHHH MY BLOODY EARS!!” being the guardian and all they healed pretty fast. I got back up to my feet “now any questions?” they all looked at me “What are you and what’s that on your side?”
I glance down at my side to see my super-duper trusty blow your brains out hand cannon. “Heh that’s my boom stick I guess you can say. And for what I am I was human at least I think I still am human I am many things I was an apple once a dragon a no what never mind but I guess you can just say that im a guardian.” They all looked at me “YOU WERE A DRAGON!?” scootaloo shouted. “Yea long story fun times Heh I miss spyro a bit.” I looked at them.

“Now tell me my little fillies’ do you have a place I can stay im too old for sleeping outside.” Aw yeah cloud bringing out the to old excuse well I am old but never too old. “To old? Yu look younger than a baby rabbit what do ya mean to old?” I get to explain this “Well girls since im the guardian I am immortal and whatnot I haven’t aged a day since I took the job well was forced to take the job anyway. Now be polite to the elderly I am 900 years old and my bones are very fragile.” Im going to feel fucking terrible for messing with these fillies later.

They all looked at each other with grins that could kill. “CUTIE MARK ELDERLY GUARDIAN HELPERS!” OH GOD I REGRET THIS! “WAIT NO IM KIDDING PLEASE JUST NO DON’T KNOW I CAN JUST TAKE ME SOMEWHERE I CAN I DON'T NEED HELP!” they all looked at me with big sad tearful eyes. “I can make it up to you but it will be a surprise. Okay?” “YAY YAY YAY YAY!” they yelled in unison.

“Alright now that is done will you please take me to your residence to stay please?” applebloom nodded “Alright everypony get on the scooter!” I stopped I aint getting on a scooter I had a better idea. “Hang on a second your home is just up there “Yup it is just straight down there bout a mile.” I smiled “Alright gimmie a minute I will find a ride there why don't you girls go on ahead I know I will catch up.”
They nodded “But watch out cloud don't get seen by applejack I want to surprise her with you!” wait surprise know what never mind I pulled out my phone. Im on vacation this better work. I dialed in authors number it rang once and he picked up “watcha need kid?” I stopped myself. “TRON BIKE!” I squealed into the phone with a giant grin.

Author laughed “Alright only because you’re on vacation alright one tron bike crushing you now!” wait crushing OH FUCK. I rolled to my side as the bike came down onto the ground I put the phone up to my head again “author y u gotta hate bro!?!” he laughed “I don't hate I just love messing around with you later kid.”
The phone clicked. I shoved it back into my pocket
I hopped onto the tron bike “AWW YEEAAHHHH LET DO DIS THANG!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as I sped off with it. Now im sure you all have seen the new tron movie right. Well those are a lot slower these things are faster than a wagon full of fat kids going downhill. I could see the cmc ahead of me I sped a little faster than I meant to and well let’s just say when a tron bike goes so fast and hits the tiniest bump you are going to die. Well except me.

“FUCK ME!!!!” I flew off the bike screaming like a little girl and cursing “OH GOD FUCK!” I was sent spiraling towards a big red barn. No seriously a giant freaking red barn. I smashed into the barn leaving a big gaping hole. Luckily I landed in a hay bale. Unfortunately I was impaled by some wood. “GOD DANGIT!” I screamed as I ripped the plank out of me.

God dangit man thank god I am the guardian. Just then the barn doors where quickly swung open. I could see a really pissed off orange. “WHAT IN THE HAY AR YA DOIN IN MAH BARN!” damn this orange was pissed “Let me expla-“ she cut me off as she ran at me and kicked me right in my two best friends and I went down for the count as black took over.

Drinking and dreams

I woke up screaming and clutching my jewels “JESUS CHRIST THEY STILL STING!” is all I could yell. I finally opened my teary eyes and looked at my surroundings. I was in a room. Wasn’t I just in the barn wait I passed out. I got to my feet and looked at the door way to see the orange mare that probably just made me go sterol standing there. “NO LEAVE ME ALONE” I fell to the floor and cringed in fear and that doesn’t happen very often. “Calm down im not gunna hurt ya again.” She spoke with a southern accent just like applebloom so I guess this is applejack then.

She walked over to me and looked at me up and down “What in tarnation ar ya?” I sighed a really long sigh. “Well my dear applejack I am a human are was I think I am not sure many things I guess. Also my name is cloud” She stared at me “How do ya know mah name?” “Your sister told me” I replied bluntly as possible but is sort of impossible for me.

I got to my feet and looked for my sidearm and sword “There over there” applejack pointed a hoof towards a corner where my weapons lay. “Thanks Jackie” I smiled at the nickname I just made but applejack did not look amused “what did yu just call me?” I winced remembering what just happened earlier.

“NOTHING!” I clutched at my pants again protecting myself if she tried to kick me again. She only laughed. I smiled and went to the corner slung my sword over my back and put my gun in my holster. “So cloudy where ya from?” I laughed “im from earth and can you tell me where I am?” she smiled “Well you’re in Equestria and mind tellin me why yur here?” I stopped myself from answering

“Wait… EQUESTRIA!?!??” she had a odd look on her face “ya why?” I started jumping with excitement “BECAUSE PINKIE PIE IS HERE I HAVENT SEEN THAT RANDOM FOURTH WALL BREAKING GIRL IN AGES!” Applejack tilted her head slightly “fourth wall?” I sighed “it’s better if you don't know and why I am here is because my boss sent me on a vacation.”
“Your boss? What exactly is your job?” this is going to get old I told my myself. I explained how I was 900 years old and that im the guardian and how I met pinkie. “So that’s how you crashed through mah roof?” I nodded “So that explains the blood and no scratches on yu then. ”yup!” I looked at my wrist to see what time it was. “DRINKING TIME!”

“What?” I smiled “It’s time for me to get drunk and regret nothing!” a bottle of whiskey appeared in my hand “Cloud where did that come from?” I begin chugging it like a real man should. I stop after finishing it letting it take affect “it came from….hell if I know” I begin tilting side to side “sugacube I think it’s time for you to sleep.”

“what? NO! I wanna just go for a walk.” I begin walking and fall straight forward nearly crushing Jackie “Dammit shoes you drank too much now my arms can’t walk!” I could hear applejack laughing “common sugarcube get in the bed.” I moaned and pouted “but I don't wanna! Not until I finish my vodka!” I could somewhat see Jackie facehoofing are something couldn’t tell with all the swaying and whatnot.

“know what im just gunna lay here night orangejack” before she could reply I was drifting off into a drunken stupor sleep.
I get to my feet looking at all the vibrant colors. “OH HELL YEAH LUCID DRUNK DREAMING!” I begin to run as my feet sink into the ground. Turns out the ground was a great big white marshmallow. “Oh so cool” I knelt down and began to devour the marshmallow as I yelled something about donkeys and deer not getting along. I stand up again looking at the work I did on the marshmallow. HA I AM THE GUARDIAN COWER IN FEAR MARSHMALLOWS! Everything begins to go black. The air got cold I felt so alone.

I shivered what the hell just happened I was dreaming of marshmallows now all this stuff is happening. “YOU SHALL FAIL GUARDIAN YOUR KNEW FOUND FRIENDS WILL PERSIH YOU WILL DIE!” I stopped “Creepyvoicesaywhat?” I begin to start thinking again “I am the guardian ghost thingie bingie thing” aw yeah talk like pinkie confuse stuff “and that means I can’t die I can’t be defeated get at me bro!” the voice laughed

“YOU’RE IGNORANCE BLINDS YOU HERO BE PREPARED WE WILL RISE AND CAUSE UTTER CHAOS AND NOT EVEN YOU AND YOUR PUNY AUTHOR CAN STOP ME!” the monsters words rung in my ears. “OBJECTION!” I yelled out “OVVERULED!” WAIT WHAT DID IT JUST SAY?!?!? NO ONE OVER RULES ME! I gritted my teeth “listen here asshat and listen good you fuck with me you are going to brutally killed as I choke you with your own intestines!”

No response I hmphed as I just won an argument as I turned around I could see my worst fear in front me. “You…” I bolted up from my spot on the floor with sweat running down my face. UGGHHH WHY IS IT WHEN I GET A VACATION MONSTERS WANT TO DESTROY WORLDS GOD DANGIT! I sighed and got to my feet. I looked out the window the sun was coming up. “Hell I need some food and a shower…why am I talking to myself.” I shrugged and walked towards the door way.

I peered around the corner. No one in sight I quickly headed down it and quietly made my way down the steps and out the door. I look around all’s I see are trees big apple trees. My phone begins to vibrate I take it out of my pocket “boss we got a problem.” I used my serious voice “yea kid I know I saw your dream listen enjoy yourself when I find out more I will fill you in and in the meantime go fix that barn im sure applejack would appreciate it” his tone was cold we never spoke like this “alright boss call me if you get any info right away.” I hung up the phone and made my way towards the barn.
It seemed like a long depressing walk but it wasn’t just a boring one. Off from what I could tell was a forest I could hear howling of wolfs and other animals I couldn’t make out. Due to me not paying attention I walked straight into the barns door hitting my head against it.

I quickly got to me feet and just stood in front of the barn. Now to get on the roof. Okay remember just like Altiar showed you. I stepped back a few feet and I began to run at the barn door. I ran up alongside the door and grabbed the top of it. I pulled myself up and stood there and face palmed hard. I forgot I could fly. Some guardian I am I forget that I can fly. I jump down from the door and spread my wings. My wings aren’t like you would expect. There not feathers there not bat wings. They are just a pitch black gas that looks like wings.

I begin to flap them as and I begin to hover over the ground. After a few more flaps im on the roof and I stare at the gaping hole I left in it. “Gah why can’t this be like mine craft where I can just cover it with a block!” I thought aloud. I sighed and knelt down over the hole and began to work.

I meet a fan

After an hour are so of working on the roof I was done. It wasn’t my best work but it was as good as it was going to get with me doing it! I got up from my knees and stretched. I stared at the sun now higher than when I last saw it. Everyone at the farm is probably up by now and hungry and I want some food. I began to spread my wings to head towards the home when something stopped me. No something literally stopped me like a blue glow came around me and I couldn’t move.

I was turned around and I faced a blue pony with a horn and wings. “Urrmm sup?” is all I could manage out “Hello I am Princess Luna” she had excitement in her voice. “Well can you tell me why your holding me in the air like this?” I NEED AN ADULT! She drops me on the roof “Sorry about that I just didn’t want to startle you.” I thought for a moment “Nah don't worry about it and you can’t scare me!” that had been the biggest lie ever I cowered in fear from a tomato once and don't you dare ask why! “So can you tell me why you’re here princess?”

“Im here to meet you guardian!” wait…SHE KNOWS!!??! “Uhhh what?” she had a huge smile on her face “Im your biggest fan! I’ve heard so much about you!” she replied full of glee. I HAVE A FAN! “You’re a fan?” she nods her head “I’ve heard about you since I was a filly! When tia told me that you were coming to vacation here I thought it would be the perfect chance to meet you!”

Processing…..”well it’s an honor to meet you princess but I have some stuff to take care of so bye!” I began to turn around when she yelled “WAIT!” I turned around “yea?” she walked towards me “promise me you will come to the castle sometime and meet my sister she is also a big fan of yours.” I pondered for a moment “alright I promise.” She smiled “okay clouds see you later.” She turned around and with a flash she was gone. “OHMAHGODIHAVEFANSANDTHEREROYALTY!!!” I said aloud.

After regaining myself I began to fly back towards the house to eat some apples explain what a I drank and how much I wanna see pinkie pie! I landed on the doorstep of the house. I began to tug at the door. I locked myself out. I may be the guardian but that doesn’t mean im the smartest. I began tugging harder and harder “Goddamit door you will not win this time!” I murmured to myself.

After 5 solid minutes a familiar face opened the door. “Cloud what ar ya doing?” I smiled at the applebloom “I simply locked myself out” I laughed a little “well come inside thers breakfast on the table” FOOD! Its all I could think about I rushed myself into the house and quickly stopped “Uhhh applebloom why is the table on fire?”

Applebloom rushed into the kitchen “Wait applebloom I’ll put it out” I walked into the kitchen and pulled up my sleeves. I close my eyes and bring up some will. My blue bracelet began to glow and water began to pour out from it. I controlled the water over the fire and dropped it. I turned back around to see applebloom with her jaw on the floor “Cloud how in tarnation didja do that!” I smiled “Didn’t I tell you about my bracelets?”

Wait I haven’t even told you guys yet. Well my bracelets hold power one for fire one for earth one for wind and one for water. I love them they got me out of some pretty tight situations. Applejack rushed into the kitchen “Applebloom what did ah tell yah about cookin!” she sounded pissed “calm down Jackie I handled it!” both the apples looked at me applebloom with a look of worry and applejack with a look of im going to castrate you and make you suffocate on your on sack face. I smiled mischievously “cloud watch yourself you want yur friends bucked again?” my smile faded and I could feel pain in my jewels “NO MAAM!” I shouted “Good now let me take care of mah sister and your worry about yur self and me not buckin you again.” I nodded. This mare is terrifying I need to leave this farm now and go break the fourth wall with pinkie.

After Jackie was done yelling at applebloom she walked out and looked at me “why ar ya standin up for her?!” I reply with “because she is just so little she doesn’t need to get yelled at are smacked because she accidently set the breakfast on fire.” Applejack smirked “Yes she does cloud.” I frown “she doesn’t know any better” I retort. Applejack frowns “somehow I can tell that you’re tellin me the truth.”

“I never lie!” wait yes I do. Applejack looks up at me “now that’s a lie!” I smile sheepishly. “Also I fixed your barn roof I met Princess Luna.” As soon as I mentioned the princess Jackie stopped. “You met the princess?” I nod “yea turns out she is a fan of mine and so is her sister.” Her jaw hit the floor “fans of you!?!?” I nodded “I guess they heard about all the good ive done hopefully none of the bad stuff are the weird stuff.” Memories flooded in of me running around in a hotdog suit running through a trailer park trying to perform a hit.

“so I take it yur pretty famous?” I shake my head “no no one really knows about the guardian im kind of just thrown out of everything until I come to save their world are help them with their problems.” I sighed “it must be terrible to be forgotten about.” I nod my head 900 longs years and I was still a myth just like Nessie except I rode Nessie into the sunset like a boss.
“So when can I go into town and meet your friends?” she looked over at me “we can go now if ya would like. “She replied “AWW YEAAAHHH LETS GO!” I stepped out the front door and revealed my wings to Jackie. “Where in tarnation did those come from!?” I smiled “there gasses that look like wings and are made solid I have them hidden and I can reveal them whenever so.” I slid on some glasses “Deal with it”

Jackie looked over at me “cloud where did ya get those glasses?” I stopped “I have no idea now let’s go!”

Meeting a muffins

I pick up aj she surprisingly light “don't drop me cloud.” I smile “wouldn’t dream of it now where do I go?” she points hoof at the path “jus follow this path.” I nod and I take off with the orange mare in my arms. Jackie clings to me tighter as I go higher “Cloud do we have to go tis high?” I nod laughing “don't tell me your scared?” she nods. Feel bad time I fly a bit lower to ground to comfort AJ I kinda forgot that she probably never gone flying before. “So you ever been flying before?” she nods “only in pinkies blimp.

“were not far jus up the road a bit more.” I look up and see the town it’s so colorful. I think I may have just got epilepsy from it but eh whatever. I approach the town and land outside of it. “Alright I have to be sneaky now I want to surprise pinkie.” Just then I could hear somepony yell FOREVER. Pinkie then appeared out of a bush beside me. “Someone say my-“I looked at her grinning “CLOUD!” I was tackled by the pink blur.

“Hey pinks!” she is still hugging me as tightly as possible I could hear applejack laughing. “Cloud what are you doing here last time I saw you. You were beating that big meanie weanie troll with your hands!” I smile recalling the event of smashing the trolls face in with my fist. “Author sent me on a vacation!” Pinkie pie had the biggest grin ever “OhmygoshthatmeanswecanhangoutFOREVER!” I smile and nod my head.

“We need to have a party for you!” pinkie says hyperly “AWW YEAAAHH WE DO PINKS!” we then high well five hoof I guess. I scoop up pinks and put her on my head and we both throw on sun glasses and look at applejack “YO JACKIE DEAL WITH IT!” I cross my arms while pinks cross her front legs. “wow cloud yur about as random as pinkie” I scoff “I can never be as random as her. Pinkie then appeared in front of me “That’s right! Now common you can come meet twilight!” I laugh and follow the sugar rushed pink mare into the town.

As soon as I entered town I felt all eyes on me. I could hear hushed whispers like “what is it” “what is that beast?” “What is that thing on its side” I was ready to snap when pinkie yelled “WERE HERE!” before I could stop walking I walked straight into a wall. “Ow” I hold my nose and I snap it back into place some things I have to do manually. I looked up to see a home fused in a tree. “so this is where she lives?” applejack nodded “and it’s also the library.” I instantly thought. Have dead trees surround a living tree makes sense.

I got to my feet and saw pinks knocking on the door. I staggered over to her and the door opened. A small purple dragon stood in front of us. “SPYRO!!” I snatch up the dragon in a hug then I realized. Spyro is not in Equestria. And now I have a pissed off baby dragon in my arms. I look at the dragon and he is to stunned to talk. I set him down and back away slowly.
Pinks is rolling on the ground laughing. “Pinkie what just happened?” asked the confused dragon. Pinkie couldn’t answer so I did “sorry about that thought you were somebody else” I smile sheepishly. The dragon looks at me. He darts into the home and slams the door and I could hear locks and shouting from the inside.

I look at applejack “Who is spyro?” I look at pinkie “should we tell her?” pinkie shook her head. Okay now to get into this library I had an idea. “Pinks get yourself in there and then pull us through your mane.” “Okie dokie lokie!” she then disappears and I can feel something grab my hair and then im inside the library with stunned applejack next to me. “Pinkie ho-““She’s pinkie pie there is no explanation needed!”

Applejack sighed and nodded. I looked at the steps to see a lavender unicorn coming down the steps “it’s really you isn’t it? “Wait what? “Uhhh what are you talking about?” she shakes her head “They said you didn’t exist but from what happened here I knew one day you would come here.” The hell. “Really so you know who I am?” she nods “Guardian.” Damn she’s smart “Ah but do you know my guardian name?” she shakes her head

I smile “Well im cloud and how do you know so much about me?” she smiles “I read a lot.” I laugh. “alrighty then so what’s your name?” she looks in me in the eyes “Twilight sparkle.” I nod “alright sparkight now tell me how did you know I was coming here?”

“my book it said that you were coming here.” Hell I need to read more “Well Im here but do you know why?” she shakes her head. I look at pinks she is silent which is amazing. “Well im here for vacation the author gave me a break finally.” She looks at me “author?” I nod “it’s pretty hard to explain so just leave it at that and can you tell your dragon to come out gotta apologize for hugging him. She looked at me “you hugged spike?” I nod “thought he was someone else.”

“SPIKE GET OUT HERE!” twilight shouted. Spike staggered down the steps slowly approaching twilight. “Twilight what is that thing!” I grabbed my chest “hurtful!” pinkie laughed “Cloud this is spike my assistant.” “WAIT HOLD UP! You have a dragon as an assistant!?!” she nods “Wow.” I face palm hard. “Pinkie can you go get the rest of the girls I want them to meet the gau. I mean cloud.”

“You got it!” she then bounces into the ceiling and disappears “How…” spike started. I smiled “I taught her that one!” spike and Twi gives me a weird look. “You just met pinkie though” I shake my head “nope I met her a long time ago when I was at my friend’s house while I was avoiding getting smashed by his dog.” Why do they keep doing that “yea I know a lot to take in but trust me it makes more sense over time.

I begin walking towards one of the shelves and take out one of the books. “Slender mane...HAH I GET IT! Thought I destroyed him thought. Guess there is two.” And that’s when I realized I was talking aloud with the Twi AJ and spike staring at me. Twilight spoke up “You fought slender mane?!” I nod “well his human form anyway it wasn’t a fun fight all the tentacles I felt like I was fighting the kraken again.” Their jaws hit the floor “YOU FOUGHT THE KRAKEN!?!” spike exclaimed. I nod “I have a fear of water monsters so it didn’t help.”

Just then the door swung open and pinkie hopped in “I got them I got them!” she exclaimed. Three mares followed behind her. “Now who did you want u-“ the marshmallow was cut off when she saw me. The yellow one fell on the floor and cringed in fear. And the rainbow one OH FUCK! I was rammed by the cyan pony with a rainbow mane.

“WHO ARE YOU!” she yelled. Before I could answer she was engulfed by a purple glow “Rainbow get off are guest!” Twi shouted. I got to my feet and saw the Pegasus in the air struggling against the purple glow. “But he’s a monster!

” I snapped “I AM NOT A FUCKING MONSTER!” I shouted with so much force one of the windows cracked. All was silent I couldn’t take it. “sorry.” Pinkie pie jumps up and tackles me in a hug “YOUR NOT A MONSTER!!! I KNEW IT!” wait she thought I was a monster FFUUUU! “thanks pinks” she nods and I stand up still having the ball of pink energy attached to me. “Twilight who is this?” asked the marshmallow “this is the guardian cloud.” The marshmallow looked confused “guardian?
What kind of guardian where’s that!” Aw man everybody wants to make the guardian sad. “Rarity!” twilight shouted “it’s fine Twi. And I wear this because it protects me in battle now stop insulting me all of you your making this a very aggravating vacation.” The marshmallow walked over to me

“I was not insulting you I was going to say your clothing is very odd but divine except those colors.” I sigh “I didn’t really get a choice my boss chose what I wear and everything I do where changes into these colors.” Is sigh looking at my black jacket black shirt red tie black jeans and red and black converse?

“That’s terrible!” I shake my head “not all the time by the way im cloud and you are?” “Rarity and are you the cloud that sweetie belle was telling me about?” I nod my head “well she did tell me you were a bit odd.” Gah! “You’re odd!” I could hear spike yell. I smiled “rarity this is a start of a beautiful friendship!” she laughs “I can only hope.”

I look over rarity to see the Pegasus still cringing in fear. “Rarity what’s wrong with her?” she looked over at the mare on the floor “that’s fluttershy she is really as you can tell shy.” I nod. I begin to walk over to her. I kneel down on one knee “hey can you-“I was cut off by a hug from the shy pony. Everypony gasped. “uhhh what are you doing?” she yelps and sinks back down “S-sorry I just thought that if I gave you a hug you wouldn’t be mad anymore.” Wait what just what im I don't even.
“Well you can get up I aint going to hurt anypony” she looks at me with her deep greenish blue eyes. “Okay” she gets on her hooves and walks over to Twi. “Okay twilight you can release whatever her name is” she yelled “HEY MY NAMES RAINBOWDASH AND IM THE BEST FLYER IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA” I smile “sure you are now calm down.” She looks at me with pissed off eyes “What do you mean sure I am!”

I roll my eyes “SSUUUURREEEE!” She flew into my face “Have you ever broken the sound barrier!?!” I smiled "yes i have." her eyes went wide "How you don't even have wings!" i sigh "actually i do." i show her my wings and her eyes are wide in surprise“and now a question for you? Have you ever flown for your life from a special ops unit while dodging there heat seeking missiles while you had hellfire thrown at you while trying to not choke on food?” she shakes her head “But that doesn’t mean anything!” I nod my head “but if you are the best then you won’t be afraid to race me then?” she pondered for a moment “Your on I will beat you in ten seconds flat!”

“Bring it.” Twilight decided to butt in “Well now that you have all met cloud you can leave!” a voice came from outside “not everypony” a elegant white pony with flowing hair and a unicorn horn and wings came in. “princess celestia?!” the ponies said in a unison. “Hello girls and spike. And hello cloud I see that you met the elements of harmony.” I nod at the princess. “So princess Luna told me that you and here were sort of fans of mine?” the ponies gasped “yes cloud I am I remember hearing the stories of you fighting demons and traveling in the TARDIS when I was young.” I laugh “The TARDIS man those were the days.” I sigh “I did never see the doctor again.” I frowned “But I did meet some new people and celestia I need to talk to you about something.”

“Yes I know the problem cloud author told me.” I nod my head “celestia thank you for letting me stay in Equestria for a vacation.” She nods and replies with “Well we couldn’t just let one of the biggest heroes stay somewhere violent and harsh so I and the author made an agreement. And I really wanted to meet you.”

I smiled “So you are a big a fan?” she nods her head and blushes a little “well I must go now cloud please visit me and my sister anytime you wish in canterlot just stay away from the windows I know the stories you have had with them.” I smile sheepishly remembering the incident with the windows at a home depot. “im lucky harry didn’t kick my ass for it.” she smiles “very now I must go goodbye my little ponies spike and guardian.”

As soon as celestia left the rest said their goodbyes as did I and I left with pinkie. “so what do you want to do now pinks?” she smiles “CUPCAKES!” she shouted “AWW YEAAAHHH!” pinks bounced happily as I followed beside her. We stopped in front of a gingerbread house. “Oh my god….ITS BEAUTFIUL!” pinkie laughs “common!” we enter the gingerbread home to see a grey mare standing at the counter.

“Pinkie you’re here! Im here to get my muffins.” They grey mare was a little wall eyed but that didn’t matter. “OHMYGOSHIMSOSORRYDITZYIFORGOTMYFRIENDCLOUDCAMEINTOTOWNYOUMUSTICTHINKIMHORRIBLE!” damn she’s emotional “no you’re not pinkie and who’s your friend?” she looked at me smiling “im cloud and you are?” she replied with “im ditzy doo the mail mare.” As soon as she finished the door rang I turned around to see a pony with a tan coat and a brown mane. “Common ditzy the ta-“he looked at me “CLOUD!?!” oh my god “DOC WHAT THE HELL YOU’RE A PONY!”

The war and hands

I was too stunned to move. The Doctor was a friggin pony! “I wanna be a pony to doc!” I shouted. He laughed “Glad to see you cloud.” He said grinning “Good to see you to doc but why are you here ive been looking for you man! It got really lonely without my friend yelling at daleks and fixing things and saying he’s sorry!” I chuckled. “Well it seems there was a rift like the one where we first met the cyber men and well…. I didn’t want to go.” My smile fades “Neither did I but I had a job to do.” He nods “Well cloud it was good seeing you, you should come with me and ditzy sometime I could always need my friend with an unlimited supply of pineapples!” I smile again “You know that it was funny even though we were facing death! “His grin widens “I know! Now ditzy shall we go?” ditzy nods “Bye cloud!” I wave my hand.

Me and the doctor go way back. Like back to when I first started being the guardian. I miss those days. “Cloud come in here we can make some cupcakes now!” pinkie shouted over my thoughts. “Alright pinks im coming.” I enter the kitchen to stare down a barrel of a gun. “We never settled are dispute cloud.” Pinkie said in a very serious voice. She shot the gun and a pink cupcake hit me in the face sending me flying over the counter.

I gather myself to my feet wiping of the cupcake “THIS MEANS WAR PINKIE!” I shouted laughing. She tossed me a gun full of frosting. “Bring it guardian boy!” I quickly jumped out of the house and began running. Oh god what have I done ive started a war with the most deadly pony ever! A cupcake zoomed past my face “GET BACK HERE!” pinkie shouted with so much force it could most likely count as a thume.

I turned around “I AM THE GUARDIAN I DEMAND THIS BAT-“I was cut off to a cupcake to the gut. Okay no talking. I scrambled to my feet and begin letting it loose on the energetic ball. “GODDAMMIT STOP MOVING!” pinkie was moving even faster now. My gun clicked I was out of frosting I tossed it to the ground and pulled out my combat cupcake.

Pinkie stopped a few feet away holding a cupcake. “You’re going down!” I shouted. Pinkie rushed me I dodged to my side. I got to my feet and saw her charging again. This time I was not successful. She got me right in the leg with the cupcake. “Gah!” I fell onto the grass and got to my knees. Pinkie stood in front me. “FINISH ME YOU PINKIE MONSTROSITY!” she smiled wildly knowing that she just defeated the most powerful being in the whole well let’s just say whole of everything.
“Any last words cloudy?” I nodded “I need about tree fitty!” I laughed. Pinkie was amused also but she did still shove the cupcake in my mouth and forced me to sallow it.” HAH I WIN!” I fall over on my side. “Aw common cloudy its no-“I cut her off by shoving a cake in her face. “The cake is a lie though!” pinkie yells putting her hooves to her head.

We both fall over on the ground and begin laughing. After about a minute of non-stop laughing I wiped a tear out of my eye. “Pinkie I really missed you. “I have a giant grin on my face “I missed you to but I have to go setup the party for you! It will be at the library at six I will see you then bye cloud!” I wave “by pinks.” Now what do I do. Well I could no. Maybe no. Know what I will just go see rarity maybe I can learn more about whatever she does.

I stop “Where the hell does rarity live…. Why am I talking aloud?” I shrug. Well I guess I could just go walk around aimlessly and stare at things depressively! Nope I will just go find rarity’s. I begin walking into town slapping my headphones on and blaring three days grace. After an hour of wondering I finally got my hands on a map. I stare at the map intensively. “Well according to this map im lost as fuck.” I sigh and continue looking at the map.

I give up. I fold the map and shove it into my pocket. I look back up to see a sea foam green unicorn standing in front of me grinning. “Uhhh can I help you?” she nods “Yes just give me your hands and we won’t have a problem.” I look at her “Sorry nope!” I begin to walk away to hear a war cry. “GIVE ME THEM NOW!” I turn around to her standing in a battle stance. “OH FUCK!” I begin to run as fast as my magically enchanted shoes would let me.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I shout behind me to see her still chasing me but falling far behind. I run directly towards an oddly colored home and swing open the door and slam it shut and slide down the door back still against it. I hold my breath as I hear hoof steps from upstairs. A familiar voice calls down “Is somepony there?” it was rarity “Oh god rarity help me there’s a unicorn who wants my hands!” I yell out.

Rarity comes down the steps and looks at me “well you can stay here until she is gone.” I nod my head relieved I didn’t want to lose my hands the first day here. I get to my feet and look at rarity “So what do you do?” I ask “Well I am a fashion designer ponies from all over Equestria make request from me.” I nod “well that’s cool I guess.” I begin to walk around the shop seeing mannequins and threads and whatnot. I shudder when I look at the mannequins.
“Something wrong dear?” I nod my head “ive never liked mannequins I have had a bad history with them popping out of nowhere and scaring me.”

“That sounds terrible!” I nod my head “So do you still want to learn about the fashion of my world?” She nods her head gleefully. “Okay here I let you see my clothes then maybe if you want I can take you to earth and show you around.” I shudder “the mall” I hated malls. She gasp “Really!?” I smile “Yea” she looks like she couldn’t control her excitement. “Well thank you cloud now here let me see your jacket.”

I nod and take off my jacket revealing some of my tattoos and my bracelets. “Cloud what are those on your arms?” I sigh “these are tattoos. These stand for who I am and what I am.” She nods “so like a cutie mark?” I shake my head. “These were well forced onto me when I became the guardian.” I wince remembering the pain of getting them. “And those bracelets?” I look down at the bracelets “these are elements one for earth, water, fire and water. As long as Im wearing them I can manipulate these elements.” I form a fireball in my hand “see?”

“Wow that is quite amazing!” I laugh “Yea these saved me plenty of times! And you’re probably wandering what thing on my side is and why I have a giant sword on my back.” she nods “I never asked at the library.” I smile “Alright.” I pull out the hand cannon out of its holster “This is a gun. It’s used to shoot metal projectiles at very fast speeds this one was custom made forged by Hephaestus himself.”

She looked at me “Hephaestus?” I frowned. I forgot these ponies know nothing besides their own history. “He’s a god from another world.” I say “So he’s like you?” I shake my head “No because I actually do things unlike the gods.” I laugh. This is why Zeus wants my head on a stick. “And for my sword” I pull the sword out and show her the golden handle and black and red metal on the blade. “This is the guardians’ blade. Now you may think im immortal but this is the one weapon that can kill me.” Her eyes widen “You have the only weapon that can kill you? Why?” I sigh

“Well hell it was just given to me when I started so I just kept it you know because it gets boring tearing apart monsters with your bare hands.” I breathed in. “so I take it being the guardian is a scary job?” I nod “terrifying.” There was an awkward silence. I glance at my watch “Hell it’s almost time for the party.” I look up at rarity she is still inspecting my jacket. “Rarity are you coming to the party?” she looks over at me “Of course I am! Now let’s get going.” She levitates my jacket over to me and I grab it. “Alright sgo!” rarity looked at me “Sgo?” I smiled “Yup now! SGO!”

Party and a kiss

The walk back to the library was a very quiet one. I tried to make a conversation with rarity but it seemed to fail. “So rarity..” she looked over to me “Yes?” well hell what do I say now. “Uh never mind. Aha were here!” we stood in front of the library for a moment. “Well are you going to go in are not cloud?” I snapped back to reality “yea sorry.” She looked up at me “No problem dear.” I walk up to the door and open it. Pitch black inside. I step in and the lights flashed on and all the ponies yelled “SURPRISE!” I jumped back a bit. Pinkie zoomed up to me “Cloud did I surprise ya did I did I!” I nod “Yea pinks you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Well that wouldn’t have been good.” Replied a familiar voice. I look up from pinkie and smile “Dresden!” I walk up to my old friend and greet him with a hug. “How have you been cloud I haven’t seen you in ages!” smile still on my face “Ive never been better I finally got a break as you can see!” we share a laugh “So how have things been back in Chicago?” I ask “Molly has been progressing in her magic more and more she might not be a grasshopper anymore.” I cough remembering the events of which none of you need to know about.

“And Michael?” he frowns a little “Still alive spending more time with the family.” I nod “that’s great. Now! Ready to get drunk?” his smiles widens “Hells bells I don't think ive drank since the last time you had a bottle of whiskey. Your one hell of a drinker!” applejack butted in “I know the first day I met him he passed out on the floor mumbling about marshmallows.” Dresden looked at me “You passing out marshmallows hells bells cloud!”

“Yea I know and let’s hold off on the drinking for now.” I say “You holding off? Wow that must take a lot!” I nod “A helluva a lot.” Jackie walked up to me “Cloud come with me I want ya to meet mah brother.” Her brother? Why didn’t I meet him at the farm. Eh whatever “Alright where’s he at?” she points a hoof at a giant red stallion “right thare.” I walk over to him “Hey you AJs brother?” he looks at me “Eeyup” I put out my hand

“Well im the guy that guy who passed out on the floor and fixed your barn roof. But you can call me cloud.” He took my hand and shook it with his hoof “Im big macintosh. But call me big mac.”
I nod “Well see ya later.” I begin walking away to see fluttershy enter the door “Hey shy” she looks at me and hides behind her hair “O-oh hi cloud.” Didn’t think she was going to be here “so what are you doing here?” a loud thud can be heard. I turn around to see a table that was smashed. “What the hell?” fluttershy looks scared. I could hear laughing but all the
ponies were quite.

I saw a shadow go up the steps. “I’ll be right back” I pull out my hand cannon ready to fight this shadow thing.
I walk up the steps all the ponies staring at my weapon. I round the corner to see a girl rolling on the floor laughing. She had green hair and pale skin and wore a yellow shirt and faded blue pants. “Uh who the hell are you?” she looks up at me “I’m lollytwist” I shake my head “Alright how did you get here?” she stands up “Well it was a couple of days ago I woke up in a meadow and met fluttershy.”

She glances at my gun “so your cloud?” I nod “the one and only!” she is now a few inches away “Fluttershy told me a lot about you.” I sigh “One more question Lolly how in the hell did you do that to the table without being seen?” she shrugs “I can turn into a shadow and destroy something by tampering with the shadow.”

“That’s friggin cool!” I say almost shouting “I know right!” well she’s pretty cool so I guess I won’t have to blow her brains out. “Alright well come meet everypony I guess.” She shakes her head “No they will be afraid of me.” I shake my head “Look at me there not scared of me. Well I hope there not but whatever come on!” she sighs “fine only cause your cute.” Wait what? “What?” she grabs my hand and take me down the steps.

Everypony gasped as they her “Alright everypony meet lollytwist!” fluttershy was heading for the day hanging her head. Oh no she doesn’t. I quickly flew over to her and picked her up. She yelped “fluttershy why didn’t you tell me about Lolly?” she looked on the verge of tears “I-I don't know” I sigh “it’s alright im not mad” she looked at me blinking away tears “y-you’re not?” I shake my head “never not ever!”

“t-thank you cloud” I set her down and looked at harry. “Mister Dresden I do believe that it’s time to drink and sing!” he glances at me “what order?” is shrug “sing then drink!” I walk over to pinkie “Hey pinks can you set up a mic and some speakers?” she stands up on her back legs “Okie dokie lokie!” I smile this should be amusing!

She reached into her mane and pulls out speakers and a microphone “There you go!” I smile “Thanks pinks! Now mister Dresden and ponies who’s ready for some hardcore singing!” they all cheer hell even fluttershy was yelling a faint ‘Yay’. “Good!” I step up to the speakers and plug in my phone for the instrumental of break by three days grace. “Alright let’s do this!” I took the microphone into my hand and began to sing.

Tonight, my head is spinning
I need something to pick me up
I've tried but nothing is working
I won't stop
I won't say I've had enough
Tonight, I start the fire
Tonight I break away,

Break!
Away from everybody
Break!
Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take yourself to higher places

Oh oh

At night I feel like a vampire
It's not right
I just can't give it up
I'll try to get myself higher
Let's go
We're gonna light it up
Tonight we start the fire
Tonight we break away

Break!
Away from everybody
Break!
Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take, yourself to higher places

Oh oh oh

If you can't stand,
The way this place is
Take, yourself, to higher places

Break!
Away from everybody
Break!
Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take yourself to higher places

Oh oh

Higher places,
Oh oh
To higher places,
Oh oh
Higher places,
Take yourself to higher places

I backed away from the microphone. Everypony was cheering “Hell yea!” I raised my fist into the air “Now time for some drinks!” I shouted. I walked up to a table and made two bottles vodka appear. “Alright who wants to go versus me first?” applejack walked up to me “I do!” I smirked “alright now chug this and stop if you need to whoever throws up are can’t continue is out!” she nodded. I grabbed my bottle and so did she. How I do not know “Start!” pinkie shouted. I raised the bottle up and began chugging it like a monster.

I heard Jackie sputter about halfway through her bottle and say “im done.” I finished off my bottle. “Not bad Jackie” she smirked “whutever” she slurred. She began walking to only fall over and pass out. Light weights! “Alright who’s next?” pinkie walked up “ME ME ME PLEASE!” I grinned “alright let’s do this!” She took the bottle that I had and readied herself. She had a face of determination little did she know im the ultimate drunk!

“GO!” I put the bottle to my lips and chugged it as did pinkie. Pinkie gave up half way through same as Jackie. She stopped “I think im going to b-“she began to throw up me and the others couldn’t contain are laughter as the pink mare passed out in her own puke “Oh my god cloud you know how to have a good time!” Lolly stated “Hell yea I do when you got a lot of spare time this is what you do!” we shared a bellow of laughter “alright who next?” what happened I did not expect. “I would love to!” rarity stepped from the crowd “Rarity?” she nodded “We all have to cut lose sometimes don't we?” I smiled “yep now let’s do this!” I handed (hoofed? Aw hell idunnow) her the bottle “GO!” she began chugging the bottle like it was water. Damn. I slammed the bottle on the table as did she “another round milady?”

She blushed “yes” alright time to up this a bit. I pulled out two bottles of Jose harry leaned closer to my ear “cloud you sure remember what happened last time.” I grinned “I didn’t know that there was a hotel in my way!” he rolled his eyes “Cloud you took down the whole damn hotel!” my grin grew even wider

“I KNOW!” he backed away “Alright everypony watch out when cloud drinks this he will do some stupid shit so watch yourself!” harry shouted. I look over at rarity “ready to get wasted and regret everything?” she smiled “maybe not everything but yes.” I handed (HOOFED?!??!? GAH I GIVE!) her the bottle “GO!” the bottle touched my lips. Aw the sweet taste of regret!

I slammed the bottle down and soon after rarity followed “damn for a marshmallow you can drink like a Russian!” she looked at with eyes spacing off “what did you just call me?” she slurred “I don't even” I stood up and began to stumble “cloud are you alright?” harry asked “Im just fine just a little tipsy!” Lolly decided to jump in “More like fucked up!” everypony began to laugh “Don't provoke him Lolly when clouds drunk unspeakable things happen!”

I smirked “Unspeakable things go!” I tried to get to my feet but I couldn’t muster up the power “never mind” rarity stumbled her way over to me and sat on her haunches next to me. “WOAH WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!” I shouted “I have no idea!” I laughed “that’s cool” she nodded “very. Cloud do you think you can do something for me?” I look over “at this state I have no idea. What is it?”

“Can you uh well give me a kiss?” Everypony gasped hell even I gasped a little? “uh what?” she blushed and couldn’t hide it very well “Just give me a kiss right here that’s all” she put her hoof to her muzzle. “Uh I don't know…” she looked at me with big doey eyes “Please?” I sighed in defeat “alright fine I guess” I began inching closer and closer. My lips connected to her muzzle. Well I hate to say it but I enjoyed it. And the saddest part of it all this was my first kiss.

I could hear gasp from everypony as we stayed like this for a minute. She pulled back “thank you” she slurred. As soon as she finished she fell on her side asleep. “Eh misewell do the same” my head smashed on the hardwood floor not feeling any pain after all the drinking though. I drifted off into sleep going over how to take over the world.

Aftermath-ish

I woke up with a throbbing head ache and something crushing my chest. “Argh what the hell” I put my hands to my head holding it. What the hell happened! Wait…Rebooting…..Processing…..Welcome to Guardian windows 7……OH MAH GOD I KISSED RARITY AND HARRY LET ME DRINK JOSE! I will get that bastard back.

I manage my head up a bit to see rarity sprawled out over my chest. I guess you can say. I kissed a pony. And liked it. YEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH. Okay that’s not my best work but whatever. I poked her side a bit and she mumbled some inaudible words. I begin to look at my surroundings. Okay ditzy on the chandelier. Pinkie still in the same spot as she was when she passed out. Jackie’s gone big mac must have dragged her home.

Lolly is in a hole in the wall. Where’s sparkle at . She must be upstairs in her bed are something maybe the bathroom. Fluttershy not here. Harry is sprawled out on a table clenching down on a bottle of beer. And rainbow dash….Is in the book case god make a mental note doesn’t drink with ponies. Okay I can’t lie on this floor any longer. I stuck my hands under rarity’s stomach and hefted her up.

She mumbled a little but then snuggled against my chest. Don't do it cloud don't you dawwwwww right here. I held back my dawwwwww incredibly hard. I staggered over to the couch and layed her down on it. Okay now to wake everypony up. I smiled mischievously. I spread my hands a good foot from each other.

I clap as loud as possible which sends a shockwave through the whole library which makes them all jump awake. “Good morning everyone!” they all mumble something about me being a pain in the ass and flank. I smile “I could have done worse!” this made them all jump up and harry knows what I mean by I can do worse.

Lolly walked up to me “So cloud how was your kiss?” I blushed a little “To put it in words. Imagine to listening techno while on LSD.” Her eyes went wide “Damn so it was good?” I nod smiling “Oh yeah it was. “You really thought it was good?” rarity asked. Shit I forgot she was there. I turn around smiling “it was perfect.” We were both blushing. Harry walked up “Look at that cloud you’re in love! With a pony to.” I looked over at him “Least I didn’t get raped by mab.” He shrunk down a little “She did so many things to me.”

I smiled “don't you remember harry im not even human anymore so I don't think it matters.” He shrugged “guess not” pinkie groggily walked over to us. “Wow pinks never seen you so un hyper before.” Dash joked. “Cloud *hic* what was that stuff?” I smiled “medicine makes you feel better but makes you sick to your stomach!”

“Is there something better?” pinks asked “Yep sleep all day and don't dare look at the sun and if you lose a friend check the most obvious places.” She looked at me weirdly but I could hear Lolly laughing and so was harry. I look down at rarity.
She is leaning against my leg as if she is waiting for something. Rainbow flew into my face “Well aren’t you going to ask her? “She asked

. “Ask what?” she facehoofed “For her to be your marefriend!” all was silent. I look down at rarity “Wanna be my marefriend?” she had eyes full of glee “Id loved to be!” she replied with. “This calls for a party” pinkie said with a hint of grogginess. I looked at pinks “Please no im done drinking…for now anyway.” They all gasped “No party?” pinkie had tears in her eyes and her hair deflated. SHIT CLOUD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! “No pinks not right now anyway but later maybe next week.” Her hair puffed back up “YAY!”

Lolly looked over at me “so where did you learn to sing like that?” I smiled “Oh you know I learn stuff every day.” She frowned “doesn’t answer my question” I smiled even more “To bad” she sighed and looked at the clock “I got to go and help fluttershy” I nodded as did the rest. “Cloud ive got to get back to Chicago who knows what grasshopper did by now.” I nod “alright tell everyone I said hi” he nodded “alright I will” he left with pinks his only way home.

“Ive got weather duty today” rainbow stated “Alright see you later!” she began heading straight for the hole in the wall. “Cloud I have work to do and I simply can’t fall behind” I frowned a little “alright by marshmallow” she looked at me in the eyes “What did you call me?” I smiled “Nothing marshmallow now get out of here” she grinned “Goodbye guardy.” I cringed a little. Before she left she gave me a peck on the cheek and was gone. “Well hell now what do I do!” I thought aloud.

I felt like someone are something was staring daggers at me. I looked up at the steps to see a small pissed off dragon. “Stay away from rarity” spike said. The hell he just say? “What?” he came down the steps and stood in front of me “Stay away from her! You only been here a day and you stole her from me!” oh fuck me “Whoa spike calm down”

“No!” just then twilight appeared at the top of the steps “Spike leave cloud alone!” she shouted. Spike glared at me “Your lucky punk.” The hell is happening! “Twilight approached me after coming down the steps “sorry about spike he just has feeling for rarity…”I sigh “well hell I didn’t know and I can’t just break it off.”

“I know cloud I know….just be careful of what you say and do around spike from now on okay?” I nod my head “Alright i get it.” She glared at me “so what are you going to to today?” I shrugged “maybe go see the princesses.” She looked at me “Do you even know where to go” I smiled “Nope but that never stopped me before!” she grinned “wow you don't stop do you?” I shook my head “Never if I did I wouldn’t be here right now!” we shared a laugh “Later sparky” she waved me off as I stepped outside.

Okay look for big castle thing there always in the big castle thing. I looked off into the distance. “Ha knew I find it!” I took off at high speeds towards the castle.

20 minutes later

I approached the castle still flying. “Shit im going to fast!” I shouted aloud. Oh god oh god I don't want to smash into a wall. I glance and notice a giant window. Hopefully the princesses won’t be to mad. I smashed into the window as hard as the speed I was going at made me. Damn me and me not slowing down!

The Battle

I crash through the window screaming. I impact on the solid ground skidding holding my eyes closed tight. I could hear gasp and weapons being drawn out. When I reopened my eyes I saw two guards pointing spears right at me “Guards get away from him!” shouted celestia. The guards back away from my body as celestia walked up to me

“Well you make quite a entrance.” I grinned and got to my feet “I know. Sorry about the windows” I wiped some of the glass out of my hair.
“Tia what happened!” Luna galloped around the corner yelling “Oh…” I waved “hi Luna!” she walked up to me “so cloud what are you doing here?” I shrugged “got bored and needed to fly off a hangover.” They both laughed “Yes we heard about your party and your little drinking game.” I smiled sheepishly “We also heard about your singing talent.” Luna stated “yea well I have had a lot of time to practice...”

I glanced at celestia “Has the author told you any information yet?” she shook her head. I sighed “Well I need to know what we’re dealing with so I can enjoy my damned vacation!” they both nodded. Suddenly the air got cold. I breathed out to see my breath. “Oh fuck…” Luna looked over at me in worry “Cloud what’s wrong?” fuck not here why here!? “Listen go to the other side of the throne room now!” they did as I told.

I could hear fighting outside the doors and the death of guards. “Cloud what is happening!” celestia asked in a worry tone. “Shits about to get real!” I shouted back. The doors were forced open. One of the biggest monsters I have seen stood there. “Are you fucking kidding me!” I shouted. The beast had the torso of a man and legs of a bull. Fuck im dealing with the Minotaur on roids and looks like chuck Norris can’t even take him.

The Minotaur roared “Come and get me ol beasty!” I taunted. I could hear shouting from behind me. He charged me no way I could dodge him! I jumped into the air as he rammed me. I grabbed his horns and pulled. He howled in pain. He began to shake me violently “Oh no you don't!” I proceeded to take out my hand cannon only to be grabbed by his big meaty fist.
More shouting from where the princesses stand. My gun was flung across the room.

I was still in the grip of the monster being crushed as he smashed me into the ground. The monster picks me up once more and throws me across the room slamming right next to the princesses “Cloud!” Luna shouted “im fine!” I glared daggers at the monster “My turn!” I raised my hand and snarled “FORZARE!”

A kinetic energy took over and took the monster flying into a wall smashing him against it. I laughed but the fight wasn’t over. He pushed himself out of the wall. “Goddamit last time I fought you I killed you fast!” he stood there a black glow seeping from a gash. “That’s it!” I snarled.

My hair set ablaze. My fist began to glow with fire. My clothes turned into armor. I pulled out my sword and stared at the monster with my black demonic eyes. “You are going to die now” I snarled. He charged me once again. I grabbed the Minotaur by his throat and headed straight for the window. I charged out the window heading straight down with his throat still in my hand.

I began to gain speed. I felt as if my skin was going to be torn off. I heard a ginormous boom as I began to go even farther. I heard glass shattering. I slammed him hard into the ground hearing his bones breaking and it yelping in pain as it made a crater. I looked down at the monster as it began to dissolve into nothing but a black gas. “Vindi…Always Vindi.” I changed back into my regular state my hair falling down. Clothes changing and sheaving my sword. I spread my wings and begin heading up to see the damage I caused. Glass everywhere ponies holding their eyes debris everywhere. “Damn thought I could have done better.”

I flew in the window where I crashed in and out of. I could see the two princesses with tears in their eyes. Guards began pouring into the room. “Cloud you’re okay!” Luna yelled with glee but a hint fear. She ran up to me and put her forelegs around for a hug “Of course im alright im the guardian I can’t be killed!” she smiled and pulled me in for a tighter hug which felt very uncomfortable “Luna…Cant…Bre-“she let go “sorry I was just worried about you” she trailed off “

I look over at celestia “We need to find out what we’re dealing with now. That wasn’t a regular enemy I have fought this one felt harder as if his strength was in it…” she had a worried look on her face “Im afraid I may know what it is we are dealing with.” She had fear in her face “The nightmare…” I looked at her “The nightmare?? Never heard of it.” She sighed and glanced over at Luna. Luna nodded. Cloud sit down I will explain everything.
30 minutes later

“so what your telling me is that this nightmare can take over people and turn them into living nightmares?” she nodded “Well hell this aint fun for me!” I sighed “Well we need to find out where this nightmare is. And we should make sure there is no god like creature that will take it over.” I glanced over at the two princesses. “I suggest you upgrade you guards a bit have them ready for fights and have a lot of them.”

“Yes that would be wise I suppose.” Celestia replied. “Okay im going back to ponyville contact me are send a letter if you ever need help are wish to see me.” I cracked my neck as I fished that sentence. Celestia sighed “Cloud I am sorry you cannot enjoy your vacation just yet.” I waved a hand “No its fine im used to being the hero”

“Cloud there is something I was wondering that you can do.” I craned my neck around “Yea?” I asked “Please come have dinner with me and Luna and bring somepony else if you would like. I nodded “I’d love to I will see you later celestia.” She waved to me with her front leg “Good bye cloud I’ll see you tonight!”
I took off towards ponyville

Memories and racing

I lay in the grass eyes closed. I had my headphones on listening to deadmau5 on full blast for the last half hour trying to clear my thoughts and get the facts straight.
1. Big bad monster taking over other monsters
2. I haven’t eaten in ages
3. I have to pee
4. I need to ask rarity to come with me to the castle

Aw yeah awesome plan! I take off my head phones and open my eyes and scream. Lolly was looming over me with that sly smile of hers “Hey cloud!” I clutch my heart “Don't do that!” she backed away a little while laughing “To bad I do what I want!” I face palm. “How long have you been standing there?” she shrugs. “Okay why are you here then?” she shrugs again “Wait now I remember!” I motioned my hand “Well spit it out.”

“She told me that she wanted to talk to you at sugar cube corner.” I sigh and pick up myself from the ground. “Wanna tag along?” she nods her head and follows beside me. “So cloud I was doing some research on you…” I look into her eyes “Were you now? What did it tell you?” she clears her throat “well it says that you are the greatest of heroes and never backed down from protecting the innocent.”

“Never… I had done what I could...” memories flashed by of my life before the guardian. I felt a tear run down my cheek “Cloud what’s wrong?” Lolly asked worriedly “im fine it’s just some memories resurfacing...” the pain no one would help she died before I could help her they thought I was a monster. “Cloud you’re not all right something is wrong!” I felt my anger come up “NOTHING IS FUCKING WRONG LOLLY!” tears streaming down my face. A memory resurfaces “Im sorry there was nothing you could do” said the paramedic “YOUR LIEING!”

I looked around to see everypony staring and Lolly backing away “Lolly im sorry…” she nods her head “I guess I pushed a little too far” she had a tear run down her face. “Forgive me” she asked “it’s what I do best...” I gave her a hug and we continued in silence. I hung my head in shame. Why am I acting like this im never like this?

I wasn’t really paying any attention to where I was walking and walked straight into a wall. I grabbed my head muttering curses. I could hear Lolly snickering from behind me. I got to my feet and gave her a death glare but she shrugged it off. I walked into sugar cube corner to see rainbow dash sitting on her haunches bored out of her mind and pinkie bouncing happily out of the kitchen with a tray a cupcakes.

“Oh hi cloud!” I smiled pinks always makes me smile “hey pinks hey dash.” Rainbow glanced up at me “Sup” I walked up to pinkie and took a cupcake. “You wanted to see me dash?” she got to her hooves and stretched “Yea im ready for that race!” crap I forgot all about it “Alright fine where are we having it at?” her grinned widened “Ghastly gorge!” the hell is that? Pinkie gasped “Dashie last time you flew through there you got hurt!” pinkie exclaimed. She waved her off “I’ll be fine”
“And if she does get hurt im there to help” rainbow glared at me “Why help your opponent?” I smiled “Because im the good guy after all.” She rolled her eyes “Common we don't have all day!”

At ghastly gorge

“Damn...” is all I could say as I looked at the gorge. There were ponies surrounding us cheering us on before we even got started. “Ready to lose?” I shook my head “Hang on I have to ask rarity something.” I walk up to rarity “Yes dear?” I clear my throat “Hey im having dinner with the princesses she told me I could bring somepony so….” She smiles “Of course I will go with you” fuck yeah bitches love going to dinner with me “Thanks”

“Be safe cloud!” rarity called out as I approached the starting mark. I looked over at rainbow determination in her eyes. I spread my wings and I gasps can be heard from all over. “GO!” pinkie shouted. I took off at higher speeds than I have ever done before. I could hear rainbow yelling she was not far behind. It was begging to get narrow. I dodged the oncoming trees and rocks as I sped up even faster.

I flew down a tunnel gusting winds like a monster. Made it out easy though. I can see a bushel of thorns “oh shit…” I mutter as I slam through the thorns. I screamed cursing as the thorns penetrated my skin and stuck to my clothing. As I fly out of the thorn bush wall massacre I look back to see rainbow dash dodging every single one of them.
Damn she knows how to fly!

I look back to see a straight passage easy enough. Hell no it wasn’t! As soon as I flew in there eels started popping out trying to devour me. “WHY WASN’T I WARNED!” I scream as I dodge the last eel. I could see the finish line approaching “AWW YEAAAHH!!” I look back to see rainbow gaining on me. I pushed myself to the limit and went to LUDICROUS SPEED (AWW YEAH SPACE BALLS REFRENCE!)

I zoomed past the finish line not stopping screaming “CRAP!” I retract my wings. Not the best idea I have ever had. I skidded and rolled along the ground in pain as more thorns dug into my body. I layed on the ground motionless in fear of getting my body punctured more. I could hear galloping towards me. I stood up and threw my jacket off and thorns came off with it “OW DAMMIT!” I scream

The galloping got louder. I looked down at myself as I bled and the thorn started falling out of me as I healed. “Cloud are you alright!” I looked up to see twilight with a worried look on her face “No! I got thorns all over me and stuck in my jacket. I frowned I have to remove all the thorns before I can wear it again.

“Darling are you alright?” rarity questioned “Just peachy well besides that I can’t wear my jacket now.” She looked over at my jacket and covered her mouth as she saw how bad it was torn. “That’s terrible!” I nodded “Me and that jacket have been through hell and back and now look at it!” that jacket was my best friend. I looked over at rarity to see her thinking “Cloud I can fix it for you...” I jumped with glee “You can!”

“Yes of course I can!” I picked rarity up in a hug “Thanks marshmallow!” she returned the hug. I put rarity down to see rainbow with her head hung “I guess im not the fastest flier after all…” I sighed feeling like crap “Of course you are rainbow dash!” I shouted. She looked at me “What do you mean I lost!” I shrugged my shoulder “So you’re going against a 900 year old pro flier who has so much time to spare.” Her ears perked up “Thank you cloud.”

I nodded “Maybe I can teach you some stuff sometime.” she eyes were full of glee “Really?!” I smiled “Yea anything for a friend!” I was tackled by dash “Thank you cloud thank you so much.” I smiled “Remember im the good guy?” she let go of me and landed back on the ground. I stood up and stretched “Now let’s get out of here I got to get ready for a dinner.” I looked down at rarity “As do I”

Back at ponyville

“Cloud that was really nice of you what you said to rainbow.” Well yea I know it “Yea I know.” Rarity frowned “Cloud do you have any other clothes to wear to the dinner?” I pondered for a moment “Yea I do I just gotta go find the doctor I think he still has something of mine.” I began to head for the door. “I’ll be back bye” she frowned a little “Bye cloud, don't start any fights are get into trouble.” I shrugged that off “I don't without an intention… most of the time” I replied back as I closed the door. Now time to find the doctor….

The suit

I closed the door and looked around. No doc. I sighed and began walking around town to see if I could find him. I walked around the market to see applejack selling some apples with applebloom. “Fresh apples come and get em!” applejack shouted. Applebloom noticed me and shouted “Cloud!” she dashed for me and caught me off guard knocking me to the ground. “Hey bloom.”

“Cloud where have ya been I haven’t seen you in ages!” I rolled my eyes “It’s only been a day” she gave me big sad eyes “So?” she questioned. I picked up the filly and sat her on my shoulders. I could hear her laughing. I sighed and frowned as a memory of me playing with my sister came to mind. Applejack glanced at me “Sugacube ar ya alright?” I replied “Yea im fine just thought of something sad. And by the way have you seen the doctor?”

“The doctor? Who in tarnation is that?” crap I guess not maybe if I ask if she has seen ditzy “Have you seen ditzy?” she nodded and pointed a hoof over to ditzy flying upside down. “Oh….” I face palmed and set applebloom on the ground. “Cloud before ya go can I ask ya a question?” asked bloom

“Yea what is it?” she pointed at my arm “What is that? Is it like your cutie mark?” I shook my head “No they are called tattoos I was forced to get them by my boss to show that im the guardian and whatnot.” She jumped with glee “That is so cool!” I smile a bit “Yea sort of but it hurt when I had to get them.” She look frightened “it did?” I nod “yea my boss sort of cut me with a sword then put them on..” she covered her mouth “That’s horrible!” I nodded “Now I got to go bye bloom bye Jackie!”
Applejack waved me off as did applebloom.

Ditzy was flying upside down eating a muffin. “Hey ditzy!” she flipped right side up and flew over to me “Hi cloud!” she replied “Do you know where the doc is?” she nodded and landed on the ground. “Follow me I will show you where the TARDIS is” I smiled “Oh man has the doctor told you any of our adventures?”

“Yep he says that you and him were pretty close” yea pretty close like brothers.. “So cloud why do you want to go see the doctor?” eh I misewell tell her “Well I was going to see if he still had a suit of mine. As you can see my jacket is gone.” She shook her head “You and doctor all about suits.” I laughed a little

A rock flew and hit ditzy in the back of the head “Ow!” ditzy cried out. I turned around and pulled out my gun to see a Pegasus laughing at her “Ha-ha you retarded dimwit!” said the laughing Pegasus. “Hey asswipe!” I called out. He looked at me “Who are you?” he questioned fear evident in his eyes.

“Your worst nightmare….Now im going to give you two choices. Choice number one you leave and don't come back….Choice two I pull the trigger and I cook you for dinner.” His eyes were open in fear. “wha-?” I fired the gun as a bullet flew past his head. “Make your choice now my stomachs grumbling…” as soon as I finished my sentence he flew off screaming.
I looked at ditzy she had tears in her eyes “Cloud. Thank you” I nodded “Im the good guy. Also ditzy if he ever tries to mess with you again you tell me?” she nodded and asked “Cloud were you going to actually eat him?” I shoved my gun back into its holster “God no!” maybe…

We walked for a bit in silence. “Were here!” ditzy shouted. I looked up and down at the blue box “ah memories of the good times. I smiled and pulled out the key the doctor gave me and unlocked the door. “Cloud where did you get the key?” okay maybe he didn’t give it to me and I used pinkies randomness to get it “I used the power of pinkie to get it.” She looked at me questionably “okay then…” I stepped inside the TARDIS. No matter how many times was in here it still amazes me.

The doctor noticed us walking in “Hey doc” he trotted up to us “Hello cloud. Now tell me why you’re here?” he asked “I was wondering if you had my suit?” he nodded and waved for me to follow him. We walked into a door that was full of suits. “Now where did I put it…” he began searching as I did. I remember exactly where I put it.

I dug around and pulled out a suit case and entered the password. I opened the suit case to see my old suit only wore it twice. “Found it doc. Thanks for keeping it.” He smiled “Anything for a fellow time lord.” I frowned “I can’t be a time lord doc im already the guardian.” He frowned “Well anything for a friend of time!” I smiled “Alright doc I will see you later.” He waved me and ditzy off as we left the TARDIS.I was holding onto my suitcase tightly.
“Cloud why are you holding that so tight?”

“Its special to me I only wore it twice…both were to a funeral.” She frowned “Who’s funeral?” I shook my head “Ditzy I don't want to talk about it.” She nodded “I understand cloud.” We continued to walk in silence. Once we hit town me and ditzy parted ways. I sighed and began to walk towards raritys going over the memories.

“Mommy are you alright?”I walked into the room to see my mom on the bed with her throat slit. I shook her body crying "mommy please answer me!"

I snapped back to reality. I could feel a warm tear going down my cheek. I noticed that I was standing in front of the carousal boutique. I opened the door to see rarity working on my jacket. “Hey marshmallow” she looked up “Hello cloud” I walked over to the steps “Do you have a bathroom I can change in?” she nodded

“Upstairs to the left.” Alright upstairs to the left. Wait where Gah I suck at this. I trudged up the steps and walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I reopened the suit case and looked at the suit. I felt warm tears coming down my face.
I have to forget the past. I need to. I sighed and put on the suit. It took the colors red and black. “I really need to change my hair.” I exited the bathroom and went downstairs to see rarity in a dress “Wow marshmallow nice dress.” She smiled “You don't look too bad yourself. Besides those colors.” I frowned a bit “yea I know...”

“Cloud are you alright you look like you have been crying?” what crying? “No just shedding manly tears.” I lied. “Okay then now let’s go I don't want to be late for the princesses.” I opened the door to see a chariot landing in front of us “wow were right on time.”

Call me Dante

Me and rarity stepped onto the chariot led by to Pegasus canterlot guards. One asked “Are you the one that took the beast out the window?” I smiled “Yea sorry about the window and mess. But at least the princesses are okay” I replied “Yea you left one heck of a mess for us. Now are you two ready to go?” I ponder for a moment “Yep!” I say in my happy tone. The chariot took off slowly “This is going to be a really long ride.” I sigh “Yes it usually takes an hour.” WHAT?!?! “Well what do you want to do?” I ask

“How about you tell me a story of one of your adventures!” I shrug why not “Alright I’ll tell you about the time me and harry fought are way out of a building that was on fire. And that time it wasn’t are faults.”

1 hour later

“Wow cloud you have done some pretty crazy things.” Oh she doesn’t know the half of it “Yea ive done a lot mostly good. She looked at me “You’ve done bad?” I winced “yea sort of but that was in the past and I was forced to if I didn’t I wouldn’t be here today.” She looked at me “Can you tell me about it?” I shook my head “No its personal nopony needs to know about it.”
“Please cloud im sure it would help.” She’s pushing it a bit “No rarity im sorry maybe later when I know you better but please no.” she looks at me I think I had a tear in my eye. “Okay cloud I understand.”

“Dante look what I made!” I glance over at my sister. “It’s a macaroni picture of you!” she has a toothy smile glaring at me. “Thank you Andrea I will put it right here on the wall!” I take the picture and put it on my wall “Thanks big brother!” I smile as she sits down to play with her toys.

“Cloud!” rarity shouts as I snap back to reality “Cloud were here.” I glance down at rarity “Sorry I was lost in thought.” She shakes her head “it’s fine but please we can’t keep the princesses waiting.” I step off the chariot and walk into the castle. “The dining hall is this way “a butler pony motioned his hoof down the hall way “Thank you sir”

I walk down the hallway rarity at my side “This place is massive.” She smiles “Im sure there is bigger.” She has a sly smile on her face….megusta. I open the door to the dining hall to see princess celestia sitting with her sister.

“Hey” they look over at me and rarity “Hello rarity, cloud” rarity bows down “Your majesty” she hit me in the leg to bow “I will not bow” I whisper to rarity. “We should be bowing to you cloud.” I look to see celestia smiling “You heard that?” she laughs and nods.

“wow I need to work on my whispering” they all nod. I walk up to the seat next to celestia rarity takes the one next to me and Luna sit across from us. “So what’s for dinner” I ask stomach grumbling “Cloud! Table manners!” rarity said as she pushed a hoof into my side. “I have no such things!” I say laughing. I tilt back in my chair.

“I feel a disturbance in the force” I say aloud. Everypony looked at me “What?” celestia asked. Just then my chair broke and I fell straight on my ass. I could hear the royal ponies and rarity laughing and snickering from elsewhere. “Frikkin wooden chairs.” I mumble under my breath as I stand up. As soon as the laughing stopped are food was brought in. Potatoes! Bananas! Im going to eat like a king…are at least like a hobo but whatever. The food is layed out on the table and the butlers leave the room. “Potatoes!” I shout out. A potato was flung at me and hit me in the face “The hell!” I could hear them laughing again “Food does not like you does it cloud?”

“My snack packs love me though! Well I love them.” Rarity reaches for a grape for it only to be moved out of her reach. We all laugh as the white mare struggles to get the grape “here let me get it for you” she goes back and crosses her front legs and pouts. I reach for the grapes and succefully grab them and take one. “Ha first food that doesn’t try to murder me!”
I hand (hoofed….why does this always happen!) to rarity. She takes them happily and begins to eat them. “So princess.” She looked at me “Yes?” I rub the back of my neck “Sorry about the window….” She smiles “it’s quite fine cloud you had to get rid of the monster after all” rarity looks at me “monster?”

“Uhhh yea a monster was here guards couldn’t take care of it so I did. And I took it out the window.” I felt a hoof strike my face “Cloud you know how dangerous that is?!” rarity asked nearly shouting. “Im fine though so don't worry about it.”
“I will worry about it!” I sighed “Princess is there anything that I can do to make you forgive me” she shook her head “cloud I have already forgiven you but may I ask a question?” I nod “Go ahead” she clears her throat. “What was your name before you became the guardian?” I choked on the grape I was eating. “It was Dante celestia…” she looked at me “Why do you seem so sad about telling me your name?”

Because before I was the guardian…That name I just don't like my name I forgot about it never used it again.” She looked at me “May I call you Dante?” I sighed and thought for a moment “I think it’s time I forgotten the past and start using my real name so yes I suppose you can.”

“Thank you Dante” I look over at rarity “That’s a beautiful name Dante” I smiled “and so is rarity” she blushed I looked over at Princess Luna “Luna is there a reason you’re so quite?” she shook her head fighting back a grin. She is planning something. Just then a banana smacked into celestia

I began uncontrollably laughing “You think this is funny?” celestia asked in a serious tone “Yep!” just then she picked up a pie and smashed it into my face. I fell silent “I don't like this pie…..” I could hear laughing and I knew who was behind throwing things. “Lolly show yourself!” I shouted laughing.

Lolly appeared rolling on the floor laughing. “Lolly how did you get here?” she looked up clutching her ribs “I was in your shadow!” I fall silent. This girl never stops amazing me “Well Lolly why don't you meet the princesses?” she looked at celestia and at Luna “I already met Luna.” She stood up and walked towards celestia. “Hi im Lolly.”

“I am princess celestia as you know.” I heard a whooshing sound and I saw Lolly on the floor with a banana splattered on her. “Wow” is all I could say “This dinner was very uh formal?” I smile a bit. “Yes very formal” Luna stated I could see a grin on her face. I look down at rarity she’s still eating the grapes.

“So Dante what did you think of the chair breaking?” Lolly asked “Oh you know….I thought it was very chairy.” Everybody fell silent “Dante no puns for you” I frowned “Fine!” Luna stood up. “I must go raise the moon now good bye Dante Lolly Rarity. I waved to her as she left.

“well look at the mess you have all made…” wait…I quickly point my finger at Lolly “She can clean it up!” celestia laughs. “Dante you are much fun to have dinner with but I fear it must end now I will have a chariot take you all back to ponyville.”
“Thank you celestia” she waves to us with her front leg as we all leave the room. “Dante how can you make these things so much fun?” rarity asked. I look over at Lolly “Well I did have help.” Lolly smiles “Also Lolly im going to get you back real good.” She smiles and says “bring it” I smiled. “Dante can I talk to you for a sec?” I nod “Dante I will see you at the chariot” I nod as rarity continues down the hall.

“so what is it what you wanted talk about?” she scratches her neck “Dante who was that little girl who made you that picture?” I stop dead cold “Y-you saw that?” she nods “when I was in your shadow I saw your memory play. “That was my little sister Andrea...”I could feel the warm tears rolling down my face.

“Im sorry for asking..” she says “Its…fine..” I wipe my face off. “Common they won’t wait forever for us.” She smiles and follows me down the hallway.

Back at ponyville

I enter the carousel boutique and stretch. Rarity trots in front of me. “Where am I going to sleep?” she smiles “You can come sleep in my bed with me.” Wait…oh lord…”uh rarity do you thing that is a good idea?” she smiles and trots up the stairs “Of course it is dear!” she yells down. I sigh and trudge up the steps.

I look into her room to see her changing out of her dress. She notices me and smiles “Dante be a dear and go check on sweetie belle?” I nod and head down the hallway. I open the door that I presume is sweetie belles and look inside. Sweetie belle is sitting on her bed and has her hooves on her head “Belle something wrong?” she looks up surprised to see me.
“Nothing’s wrong cloud.” I sigh “Call me Dante and yes there is something wrong.” She shakes her head “it’s about scootaloo.” I enter the room “what happened?” a single tear hit the floor. “She’s at the orphanage and nopony will adopt her because she is too loud.” Right in my childhood.

I kneel down “Listen sweetie belle…I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” Her eyes lit up “What are you going to do?” I smile as im about to leave the room “isn’t it obvious im going to get her out of there!” she began jumping up and down “really really really!” she said in her high squeaky voice. “yea but I need you to keep it a secret okay?” she nods her head. Now go to sleep you got school tomorrow.” She hopped into her bed “thank you Dante” I smiled “Always remember im the good guy.” I close her door and walk down the hall to see rarity laying in the bed smiling. “What is it?”

“I heard the whole conversation.” Oh crap.. “Are you really going to adopt her?” I nod “I had a crappy child hood somepony else should not have one.” She frowns “buts that’s life.” I shake my head “No that’s the experience.” I lay my head on the pillow and look at rarity “You’re too good of a person Dante” I smile “I know now goodnight my little marshmallow.” She rolls over. I scoot a little closer and put my arm over her and drift off into sleep.

Going to school

I open my eyes groggily. I look around adjusting to my surroundings trying to remember what I did the night before. Yea now I remember. I pull myself out of the bed and fall straight on my face. “Ow...” I murmur as I get to my feet. I stretch and readjust my glasses. I exit the room and look down the hallway. I crack my neck before I head down the steps and readjust my gun so it doesn’t jab at my leg. “Good morning Dante”

“Morning to you marshmallow.” I replied “Good morning Dante” came sweetie belles high pitched voice. I smiled a bit “Good morning sweetie” I sat down at the table. “Now what’s for breakfast?” rarity sat down a plate full of burnt food “Sweetie belle made it just for you.” Oh god…..”Thank you sweetie belle”

“You’re welcome!” I stare at the plate. Well guess I don't have a choice. I stick my fork into the glob and take a bite “Oh dear” rarity murmured. I was on the verge of tears on how disgusting it was but I swallowed it anyway “Do you like it” I gave a smile trying to hide my disgust “It’s awesome but I think I will save the rest for later.” I leaned next to rarity “Burn it” I whispered into her ear.

“Well I have to go to school bye rarity bye Dante!” I got up and followed “Where you going Dante?” I sighed “Going to school!” I gave my best shit eating grin there was and I followed sweetie belle out the door. Sweetie belle looked over at me “Dante where you going?” I smiled “To school now show me the way oh wise mini marshmallow.”

After a good 5 minutes of walking we arrived at the school “This way Dante” sweetie belle said as we entered the school. I could feel ponies staring at me from everywhere “Just like high school” I murmur to myself. I may be old but that doesn’t mean I don't have a good memory. The bell rang as soon as we entered one of the classrooms “Miss Cherilee I brought someone!” the teacher turned around and looked at me “So you’re the new one in town?”

“Yep just call me Dante” I felt the stares of all the little fillies and colts on me “Well why don't you come up here with me.” I begin up the isle “So tell me exactly why you’re here and interrupting my class?” she asked. I shrugged “I thought maybe I could teach them about something they will never hear of.” She looks at me questionably “Like what?” I smile “The Guardian! Not too many people err ponies I mean get to meet me personally.”
Before she could answer I turned around and looked at them all “Now who wants to see something cool?” they all stayed silent except a small little unicorn filly with a light purple coat and a blonde mane raising her hoof “Me I do!” I smiled and pointed at her. I mustered up some will and used my wind bracelet and picked her up with the wind. All of them gasped and she was having the time of her life weeing and wooing as she flipped upside down.

I smiled and brought her up to me and sat her on my shoulders “Wow! This is so cool!” she had the brightest smile ever “Yea it is isn’t it? Now what’s your name?” she looked at me with yellow eyes that were off a bit. They reminded me of ditzys. “My names dinky hooves!” I smiled “Okay class now have any of you ever heard of the TARDIS?” they all shook their heads except dinky “Ive heard of it mommy tells me her adventures every day!”

Wait….This is ditzys kid. She never told me she had one “Well did she ever tell you how I used to go with the doctor on all these crazy adventures?” she nodded “She told me one last night!” I smiled. “Well I have some stories to be told. Are any of you interested?” they all nodded their head eagerly as did miss Cherilee. “Well we crashed into a space ship boat…”

After the story

“You had to fight robots?!” a blue colt asked voice full of excitement “Yea got them in one hit with my gun.” They all looked at my huge weapon “That’s so cool” scootaloo exclaimed. The bell rang for lunch I presumed. All the kids left the room except me and Cherilee “Wow Dante you are quite the story teller.” I smile a little

“Yea I have tons of stories to tell you can do a lot when you can’t die.” We shared a laugh “So Dante why are you really here today?” I chuckled a bit “Well sweetie belle was upset over nopony taking care of scootaloo. And well I was coming here for the day to you know….” She raised an eyebrow “You’re going to adopt scootaloo?” I shook my head “Take care of her not adopt.”

“that’s a lot to take care of you know?” I didn’t know “Well my childhood wasn’t the best I don't think you ponies deserve a bad one.” She frowned “Yea but life goes on” yea no kidding “Im going to go eat.” She waved me off “Goodbye Dante”
I wandered down the hall way following the noise of eating ponies. I opened the door to see everypony sitting down mowing down. I looked around for somewhere to sit. There were plenty of open spots. But then I noticed dinky. She sat there alone eating. I made my way over to her and sat down “Hey dinky” she looked at me in surprise “Dante what are you doing here?” I shrugged “I can’t sit by a friend?”

“I never had a friend before” right in my child hood. “What do you mean?” she stopped eating “Nopony likes me and they always make fun of my mom.” Oh hell no I don't care who you are this would bring you to tears. “Do they ever do anything else?” she nodded “Sometimes they try to hit me” I sighed “Listen dinky im your friend and I always will be okay?”

She nodded “Thank you Dante nopony has ever been nice to me.” I frown “Hang on I will be right back” I stand up and walk over to scootaloo, sweetie belle and applebloom “Care to come sit with me and dinky?” they all looked at each other “Who’s dinky?” they asked in unison. “She’s the small unicorn filly over there im friends with her mom so you want to?”

The three gathered there things and made their way towards the table. “Hi!” dinky nearly shouted as they all sat down. A collection of helloes and hi s were tossed around. “So!” I said I sat down really fast causing the chair to break. I could hear laughter from everywhere as I lay on the ground. Don't rage don't rage….. I pick myself up. After dusting myself off the bell rang.
“Common we got to get you girls back to class” dinky popped down on the floor and hobbled next to me as did the others. As we reentered the classroom all of the students sat down once more. “Now let me teach you about myself.” I pulled out my side arm and my sword “These two are my closest friends.” I held the blade a little higher for everypony to see “This is the guardian’s blade the only weapon that can kill me successfully.”

“So what you’re saying is that you can never die?” miss Cherilee asked “Well I can die if I commit suicide which won’t be happening anytime soon at all.”

Applebloom raised her hoof. I pointed at her “Dante why do you do what you do?” I froze up. I was never asked this question before “Well bloom…..I do what I do because I can pass the burden of being the guardian to somepony and body else. And well I can’t do that I make a sacrifice to protect people so they don't have to go through what ive been through.”
Everypony was silent. I clapped my hands together “Who wants to hear a story about the time I fought a alien shark while my friend stood on the surface laughing it up?” I was surrounded by the eager children.

“Okay it started with me and him walking into a flooded room to see a giant….”

After another story

“So he just shoved you in there?” I nod my head “I got him back later though when we had to fight are way out of a zombie infested town.” They all gasped “Zombies?” I nod my head smiling “I guess I will tell this one to. Well we were walking through to the mines”

Another long story later

“So you just forced a barrel to explode and send him flying across the room?” I nod my head laughing “Man you should have been there…Wait never mind there were head crabs everywhere.” The bell rang and all of them began to moan “Well Dante it was nice of you to interrupt my class today” I smiled “Anytime Cherilee.”

I exited the class to see the cutie mark crusaders going down hall with dinky. I smile to myself “I helped her in the best way I could…making a friend” Insert feels man I need to call Louis and get some peels this stuff is just dawwwwing me out! I follow them down the hall way in the most creeper less way ever. “Hey scoots!” she turns around to see me jogging towards her “Yea Dante?”
“So what are you going to do?” she shrugged “go to club house and do my homework.” I thought she was staying at the orphanage “May I come with?” she nods her tiny little head “Just follow me” after a bit of walking we stood in front of a good looking club house. “So this is where you stay?” she nods her head and motions for me to follow her.

“wow….Wheres you mom and dad?” a small plop could be heard from a tear “They died in a fire.” Oh god I should not have asked “Hey don't worry my parents died to.” She nodded “Yea from old age probably” I froze up. They didn’t die from old age my dad killed my mother and 8 years later I killed him. “No…My father killed my mother when I was 10. They didn’t have enough evidence so he was let go.” I felt tears go down my face

“What happened next?” I shook my head “Two years later he had a daughter with some girl and she left her on the doorstep. He left her in my room to name and take care of. I took so many beating trying to protect her. 6 years later I told her to go play outside as I gripped my knife.”

FLASHBACK (MMKAY?)

I look down at my sister “Hey Andrea?” she looks at me with her usual toothy smile “Yea big brother?” I crack my knuckles “Go outside I need to talk to dad” her eyes get wide “Okay big brother but don't get hurt” I wave my little sister off “I will be fine just go outside okay?” she nods and takes herself out the door. I sigh and pull out a knife. It’s a good sized blade and sharp enough to puncture skin with ease. “You’re going to die you monster.” I mutter under my breath as I exit my room. I round the corner to see my dad looming over my sister’s lifeless body. “Your next punk” he said pointing at me. Something in my snapped. Everything went black. When I awoke my father’s body was laying on the ground full of blood and eyeballs gouged out.

END FLASHBACK

Tears were rolling down my face and I had scootaloo in my arms “Dante im sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” She said sniffling. “Its fine scoots” now to tell the others. “Dante don't leave me I don't like being out here by myself.” She cries even harder and sticks her head on my chest “Don't worry im not leaving…” I hold the orange ball of emotion in my arms as we both drifted off to sleep.

I told you

I woke up to hear nothing but the cool wind. Where was I. Why am I so warm? Wait…now I remember. I held scootaloo in my arms she was asleep. I sighed we can’t stay here all I night. I got to my feet holding scootaloo. She murmured a bit but drifted off back to sleep. I walked outside of the club house to see something coming my way. “Hello Luna” I said groggily. “Ah hello Dante how are you this fine night?”

“Never better” she looked at scootaloo “Are you going to tell me what this is about?” she asked. “Yea im going to take care of her from now on.” She looked at me questionably “Why?” she asked confused. “Because she has nowhere else to and she can’t live in this clubhouse that’s for damn sure.” Luna giggled “You are a really good person Dante.”

“I know that’s the best part about me.” She raised an eyebrow “What’s the worst?” I shudder “It’s not bad just a weird fetish” I say with a smile. Yea running around in a hot dog suit weird fetish. “Yes I must say that is a weird fetish!” THE HELL! “Uh what are you talking about?” I blushed what if she can read minds….

“No I can’t read minds” LIES. She smiled “I know.” I sighed “Ive got to get going do you think you can teleport me somewhere?” she nods “Where to Dante?” I shrug and think for a moment. “Send me to twilights im sure she is still up.” She nods and her horn begins to glow. I am engulfed by a bright flash so I close my eyes. When I reopen them I am outside of the library.

Lights are on so I kick the door substituting for a knock. “Hold on im coming!” I could hear twilight. She opened the door “Oh hi cloud. What are you doing here?” she sees scootaloo “Cloud what did you do?” the hell why did she ask that? “Nothing and its Dante now and I need a place to stay for tonight with scootaloo.”

“Why do you have scootaloo?” I sigh “Well I can’t just let her live in a clubhouse out in the middle of nowhere.” Damn when I talk to twilight it’s like 20 questions. “Where’s her parents?” see what I mean “Dead” I say bluntly. She covers her mouth “Oh I had no idea.” She says sorrowfully. I step inside the library to see a stack of books “Wow Twi you’re quite the reader.”

“Yea I have a lot of spare time.” She scratches the back of her mane with her front hoof. HOW!?! “So cloud-“I stop her “Its Dante” she looks at me “Why the name change?” I shake my head “Not a name change just using my real name I decided it’s time to get over my past.” She raised an eyebrow “What happened in your past?”

“Lots of things…Never any good.” She walked up to me “Mind if I see them?” I think for a moment “Are you sure I mean things for me are pretty violent and…” I trail off. “Trust me Dante I can handle it.” I set down scootaloo on the couch and look at twilight. “Fine let’s get this over with.” She smiled “Trust me Dante.”

She walked up to me with her horn glowing and pressed it against my temple. My surroundings completely changed “Twi where are we?” I looked at my side to see twilight getting to her hooves “Your memories.” She replied “Now let’s see..” she began walking away from start to finish.” Wow I have a lot of memories.

“Here it is Dante your child hood.” I froze up “Are you sure you want to see that twilight?” she nodded “That’s why im here.” I sighed and motioned her to go forward. She looked at me “Not coming?” I shake my head “If you experience it once you may never want to experience it again.” She turned her head back and went inside. I sighed and looked around “Well the hell do I do now.” I murmur to myself.

I turn back around to see twilight coming out with a blank expression “I told you” I state. A tear rolls down her cheeks “D-Dante how did you make it through all that. And come out like this?” she is now crying “Im really good at forgetting and putting on a fake smile.” She still isn’t moving “Twi are you alright?” she shake her head “Dante why did he make your life like that?”

I shrug “But I got my revenge when I killed him.” She shudders “I never thought someone like you. Someone so innocent…so good could do something like that.” I smile sheepishly “I got a dark side I only brought it out once and I never plan on bringing it out again.” She gave me a weak smile “Well I can see why you drink so much now.” Oh my drinking problem “Yea it numbs the pain and is also fun.” I am engulfed by another light.

I open my eyes to see that im back in the library and twilight is standing in front of me. She opens her eyes there red “Twi you should go get some sleep like now.” She shakes her head “I don't need it” I sigh “Like hell you don't and if you don't I will force you to.” She raises an eyebrow “Will you now?” I picked her up and she yelped a little “I warned you Twi never doubt me”

She struggles in my grip as I take her up the steps “Please Dante just one more book!” I sigh “Nope!” I put her in her bed and exited her room. “Goodnight Twi” she crossed her front legs and pouted. I glared at her. “Dante this will not end well for you” she huffs “I know but that’s the fun part!” I reply as I close her door.

I make my way down the steps and stretch. I look outside to see the midst of the sun “Damn time flies here” I murmur to myself as I sit in the chair. This thing is not most uncomfortable chair ever. Maybe if I can find some way to get comfortable. “Gah” I muttered. “Challenge denied” I sigh and sit on it. This sucks I keep sliding. Now what do I do today… maybe I will go see Lolly and fluttershy. I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing and drift into sleep.

I open my eyes to see im somewhere new “The hell?” I could hear laughing “Sorry about that kid” says the voice “Author you could have just called me” I call out. A man about in his thirties with short hair and a goatee comes out of a door. “What fun would that be?” I shrug. “Well come here I want to talk with you.

I follow him and he sits down in a chair. “Cloud you know something is coming in Equestria…” I nod my head “Its dante now” he glares at “ill call you what I want now be quite and listen to my rant.” I sigh and sit down “Listen cloud you have been there what 3 days your dating a pony and your taking care of a filly now.” I look at him

“So?” he sighs “Well cloud I can you that I hope that your enjoying your vacation but I must tell you two more things.” I raise a eyebrow “Whats that?” he puts his hands together “Its not my choice but your going to have to make a sacrifice in the end. And always trust lolly she is an ally you cant lose….” He then falls silent
I wake up with a cold sweat. Damn it author now you just ruined my vacation more than the Vindi.

Hiding

I struggle out of the chair and fall on my face. “Ow” I need to stop falling on my face. I get to my feet to see scoots is gone. Must have gone to school. I stretch and crack my neck and look around. Nopony up. I begin to head for the door to see something odd. Okay very odd. Outside the window stood a small puppy. Well puppy Cerberus I guess.

“The hell” I mumble under my breath. I open the door and I am charged by the tiny beast. He stopped a couple inches from my feet and began barking with his three little heads “Aw look at you big and nasty.” I bent over to pick him up when the unexpected happened. The once cute puppy Cerberus turned into a giant man eating monster.

It barked loud enough to arouse some ponies out of their homes. Screams could be heard as I looked at big ole beasty. “Well Fido..” before I could say more a head picked me up and tore into me squirting my blood everywhere “AH FUCK BAD FIDO!” I scream out as I am thrashed around. The middle head let go of me sending me flying through the air. I crash into a nearby home.

“You dun goofed!” I yell at the monster. He snarled as it came charging at me. More screaming and panicking from the ponies. I jump into the air and onto fidos back when he got near me. He began howling and trying to shake me off. “Oh no you don't Fido!” I grip its head and begin to pull. It yelps in pain as I hear its flesh tearing from the yanking.

After a good minute of pulling I tore off the middle head leaving a puddle of blood dripping from the head as I threw it. The beast began roaring even louder arousing all of ponyvilles sleeping residents. I was flung off his back crashing into the ground. I got to my feet quick and stared down the beast and pulled out my blade.

He began to charge at me full speed I stood my ground holding my sword. As he was about to reach me I ducked holding my sword high slicing the beast stomach open. I could hear a sloshing sound behind me and the sound of death. I turned back around to see the body disintegrating into nothing. I could hear galloping towards me as I sheaved my sword with a smirk on my face.

“Dante!” I turned around to see who was galloping towards me “Oh hey twilight!” I talked as if nothing ever happened “What was that thing!?” she asked worried “Well my dear twilight that was a monster and I just killed it” she facehoofed “I know that but how did it get here?” I shrugged “Hell if I know the world doesn’t like me so it throws crap like this at me.”

She sighed “You are so much trouble to have around” I gave my best shit eating grin that has ever been made “yes but im worth it” I begin to walk towards where I was thrown into. “Damn.” Is all I could say as I looked at the damage that he made me do “When I find out what this demon nightmare whatever it is im going to shove a pineapple up its ass.”

I sighed and walked away from the hole and began my way back to the library with twilight. When we entered the library I spoke out “Hey Twi can you send a message to celestia about this?” she nods and yells “SPIKE!”

At the top of the steps I could see the small little dragon groggily getting up “What is it?” he then noticed me “What is he doing here?” I smiled a bit “Oh you know just going to show twilight how skin a dragon” his eyes went wide and he dashed away. “Dante you didn't have to do that.” I smiled “Yes I did” I began to head towards the door when a purple glow surrounded me “Oh you’re not leaving yet!” twilight said nearly screaming.

I smiled “You sure about that?” she nodded. Well escape time! “Why can’t I go?” she looked upstairs “Not until you apologize to spike” challenge accepted “Fine I will!” I pouted and stomped as I went up the steps “Stop that stomping young man!” I glared at twilight “Watch it sparky” she smirked and I continued up the steps.

I stopped and looked at the window “LEEEERRROOOYYYYYYY JEEEENNNNNKKKIIIIIINSSSSSSSSSS!!!” I yelled as I barreled out the window I could hear shouting “DANTE GET YOUR FLANK BACK HERE!” twilight yelled. I laughed as I flew away from the library nopony makes me apologize. I flew around a bit with nothing else to do hiding from twilight.

As I lay on a cloud closing my eyes I could feel pressure on my chest “Hi cloud!” pinkie shouts “Hey pinks and its Dante now and please be quite im hiding from twilight.” She put a hoof to her mouth and asked “Cloud I have a question?”

“Go ahead ask and like I said it’s Dante” she rolled onto the side of the cloud “Dante are you ever going to leave us?” I look at her “Only when I need to I am on vacation after all.” She smiled “Do you pinkie promise?” pinkie promise? “What’s that?” she stood up “cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye!” I shrugged why the hell not “Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye.”

“YAY!” she screamed and grasped me in a tightening hug “Pinks . . . your . . . cru-“she let go and had her usual grin “Thanks Dante but I have to go now bye!” I waved “bye pinks” then she disappeared. That girl never stops being random. I lay my head back down to hear something moving “Got you now” twilight murmured “NOPE!” I yelled out as I flew away from the enraged lavender unicorn “I WILL GET YOU!” she screamed out

I flew for a good 10 minutes before landing outside a cottage. There were animals everywhere so I assumed it was fluttershys. Lolly walked around the corner “Hey Dante”

“Hey Lolly”

“What are you doing here?” I smile “I pissed off sparky so now she’s trying to get me to say sorry so I just noped my way out of there.” She began laughing “Wow Dante.” I look at the box in her hands “Where are you going?” she shrugs “ask fluttershy she knows.”

“Where is she at?” she motioned her head towards the door. I walked towards it and opened it up to see fluttershy reaching a hoof out to open it. She jumped back a little when she saw me “o-oh hi cloud” I smiled a little “Its Dante.” She hid behind her dangling hair like she always does when im around “W-what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see if I can come with you and Lolly to where ever you’re going I have to hide from twilight.”

“Can I ask why? I mean if it’s okay with you.”

“Well I sort of um I don't know how to put this. Jumped out her window and scared spike.” I could hear Lolly laughing from behind me. “You should go and apologize” I shook my head “Not right now maybe later.” She frowned “okay Dante” she then exited her home and motioned for us to follow her to wherever she was taking me and Lolly.