Spring Cleaning

by Vengeful Spirit

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random
Length: 1296

Even a mare like Twilight needs a little love and pleasing, and as it turns out she has an ongoing relationship with her vacuum. However, her goods are simply incapable of getting said implement off, so one day she tries her hoof at a spell that will

Even a mare like Twilight needs a little love and pleasing, and as it turns out she has an ongoing relationship with her vacuum. However, her goods are simply incapable of getting said implement off, so one day she tries her hoof at a spell that will give her everything she needs to please her beloved…

If you're wondering what drove me to write this, watch Scary Movie to find my inspiration. It's a great movie if you're at all like me, and if not, what are you doing on this page anyways? Go, watch it now! :D Also, thank you Stiggerzz for being Stiggerzz. ;)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-04 15:50:02 UTC

Vacuum Romance

Twilight Sparkle ran around the room frantically, desperately trying to find that book she'd been reading on transformation magic. It had to be around somewhere...there it was, sitting high on a random shelf. She really should learn that a book title "Transformations" would inevitably be placed under T in an alphabetized library. With the utmost haste, the lavender mare wrenched the book violently from the shelf, tearing its spine and sending dozens of books clattering down to the floor. Twilight really could care less, especially since she had a minion...er pet name Spike to clean it up for her.

Rushing back up the stairs, the young unicorn flipped through the pages, wondering where that old spell had drifted off to. "Aha!" Twilight cried out as she came across the very runes she'd been looking so earnestly for. Without taking a moment to pause, she literally hurdled the dozing baby dragon she called her "assistant," not even paying attention as he slammed headfirst into the opposite wall.

"Spike!"

"Ugh..."

"Spike, I've got some Spring Cleaning to do in this room, so if you'd be so kind as to clean up downstairs, I'd like that. NOW!"

"Okay, I'll do it! Sheesh..."

With that, the frequently abused and occasionally used drake stumbled down the stairs, not in the slightest curious as to what his mistress was up to. After being raised as her metaphorical and sometimes literal punching bag, he had long learned the two rules of a mindless subject: Obedience good, curiosity bad. Without further ado, he got to work. At the same time, Twilight had started her own little task...

"Be warned, this spell can have drastic effects if pulled off poorly. Also not that its effects will wear off after four hours from whence it is cast. Hmm, I suppose that could work. It'll probably take Spike about sixteen hours to finish all the chores on the list, and while that means that this is a short workday for him, I do have more than enough time to complete this!" Twilight exclaimed, suddenly ecstatic at the revelation that her upcoming task was more than ready for her to bear.

"Invictus, transmundicus, turnicus, shutthefuckupicus!"

With that, Twilight's horn suddenly shimmered, wafting waves of light off of its length as she was promptly shrouded in flashes of a violet hue. Soon enough, the spell had taken effect, and she dropped back to the floor in a daze. Without taking the time to regain her bearings, the lavender unicorn stumbled towards the bathroom to check that the spell had gone through. After smashing her face into the doorway, she strode up to the mirror, taking in the sight. What stared back was astonishing.

"Fuck yeah!"

A purple stallion stared back at her. Or maybe for now I should say him, given who we're talking about. He looked like an exact copy of the mare that he'd just been, only now he was more...masculine. Had he still been a mare, Twilight would have been immensely turned on by the hunk of a smexy colt that was looking at himself lustfully.

"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!" he cried out, hopping around the room like an overeager pre-teen who had just found out he could do things other than piss with his dick. Which, in a way, he just had. Without further prompting, the young and sexy stallion strode confidently into his room, only to slow down and grow nervous.

"Will she still accept me as a stallion?" he wondered aloud. "Oh, this could be bad. This could be very, very bad!!"

But Twilight, or Dusk as we'll call him for now, had a schedule to keep, so he proceeded to walk up to the apple of his eye, the thing he'd been loving and trying to make love too for the last few weeks: Miss Dyson. Oh, she was a sexy vacuum, that one. The way her body flowed, the shapely form of her plastic shell as it met with her gorgeous, taught suction tubes...any mare or stallion with half a brain could see that his was a high class cleaning implement! And that's exactly what scared Dusk.

"I know it probably seems rather odd, my coming to you as a stallion right now, but I just can't seem to get you off otherwise. You've been a great pleasure to me, and sticking parts of you into my marehood has been a blast...but I just can't ignore you like I have been! It's been shameful and dishonorable of me. If you don't want my shaft inside of you, I'd understand. But babe, we've got to make this work."

Dusk had sat down next to his girlfriend, trying to meet her gaze and failing. Those wonderful black buttons were too hard to look at right then, so he instead stared at the wall for a moment. Suddenly, the lavender stallion perked up, seeming to hear what the vacuum was saying to him.

"Of course I love you, Dyson! Why do you think I tried to do this?"

There was a momentary pause as Dusk Shine listened to what his beloved had to say.

"You really want to try this out? Okay then, but I'll keep it slow at first. If you start feeling anything remotely unpleasant, just use the safeword: Anchovies. M'kay?"

The vacuum remained motionless, staying in the same state it had been the entire time. Without further ado, Dusk took the handle of the nozzled hose and proceeded to stick his now engorged meat into it. "Ah!" he sighed as the vacuum let it slide in, and he flipped the switch on the machine to cause it to whir to life. What resulted was the most pleasant experience he'd ever felt in that short time the purple unicorn had a penis.

Dyson greedily lapped at his dick, pulling it in until his balls were slapping against the air filter's sheathing. He let out a soft moan as it took him to heightened levels of nirvana, something the young stallion had never felt in his time as a mare. Was this why every stallion wanted to fuck him? Maybe he'd be a friend and let them once he turned back. Dusk looked down at his little companion, and suddenly remembered why he hadn't before. While the young stallion was no element of loyalty, betraying his only love interest would be just plain bad form.

With a trembling hoof, Dusk turned the power on the machine from "medium" to "high" without the slightest hesitation, audibly letting out a gasp as the machine drove him nearly mad with insatiable pleasure. So this was what fucking a vacuum felt like. The thing sucked the hell out of his cock, trying desperately to eat it all, seeking out only the chance to swallow him  entirely, tugging on his scrotum.

The stallion was starting to slowly buck his hips in time with the machine, vying for the opportunity to jizz all over it. Somewhere along the lines, he finally reached his climax, and the vibrating dick spurted out loads of the seed, cum mixing with the device's filter, clogging the entire thing until it was making slopping sounds as he rode out his first male orgasm. This was by far and none the best pleasure he'd ever felt.

As the last shockwaves of pleasure subsided, Dusk lay down next to his partner, looking over her graceful form with a loving and appreciative eye. "That," he whispered adoringly to his companion. "Was by far the best time of my life. Can we do this again tomorrow?" He paused, waiting for a response. After a moment, Dusk gasped aloud.

"You naughty, naughty vacuum! Alright, I think I'm up for round two."