Equestria Brahs

by FlareGun45

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Sunset Shimmer, Random
Length: 70208

A humanified version of Friendship is Epic. Flare Gun and his sister Water Gun travel to the human world to locate Flare's stolen his prized black box.

Crimson Flare Gun and his sister Water Gun has traveled to the alternate-universe to become humans. One of Flare's employees gave Flare an idea of the dream of becoming a human, because he thinks being a human is much better than being a pony. His friends disrespected his dream though, and it made Flare upset. Flare goes to the universe anyway after a spider-bot steals Flare's personal black box and takes it to the world. This black box means more to Flare than anything in the world. He must do whatever he can to get it back, with the help of the human versions of the Noble Six, Cremepop, and a little supportive help from the Mane Six, but you know they have their own adventure.

WARNING! This story contains spoilers from the Equestria Girls movie, so if you don't want any spoilers, and if you haven't seen that movie yet, please do so before reading this. DARTH VADER IS LUKE SKYWALKER'S FATHER! So you have been warned!

Also a notice: Some content in this story has changed, because of Fimfiction's policy. If you want to see the fanfic of how it was originally, then click on this link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9702648/1/Equestria-Brahs

Hope you enjoy this, my friends! Contact me if you have any questions at all! Also, be sure to check out the ponified version of Winnie the Pooh fanfic I made when you get the chance to relive your childhood memories! It's called Apple the Bloom. You can find it on page somewhere. Thanks again, brahs, and brohoof! /)

This story contains random moments and cutaway gags that have nothing to do with the story, but are just for humor. Try not to lose track. ;)

This fanfic contains singing. Most of the singing in here includes parodies, the song themselves, or polka.

IMAGE MADE BY CAVOX!

Characters:

Crimson Flare Gun: Main character of the story, also the narrator. He moved to Ponyville to get away from the bullies and jerks in his hometown, and to make new friends. He opens a pizza shop known as Flare's Pizza Parlor. Flare is very humorous, random, loyal, but sensitive in certain ways and doesn't always think before he does. He likes to make others laugh, help them up, play video games, eat pizza, his fish, show off his magic, and he doesn't like to betrayed, lied to, being called by his first name, or anyone hurting his friends or family. He's also the founder of the Noble Six group.

Water Gun: Flare's older sister that works in a nearby bistro. Very nice, very helpful to Flare in his time of need, even though they argue alot but that's how siblings are. Water's main problems is finding the right stallion, she's despite, and Flare keeps hoping the day she moves out of his trailer.

Blaze Goldheart: A draconian (half-pony, half-dragon) with phoenix powers, and is also Flare's best friend. He's a member of the Wonderbolts, but ironically he's married to Rainbow Dash and has a daughter named Rose. Blaze is very loyal to all his friends. He's also a member of the Noble Six.

Crystal Iceblast: A very silly pony in the Noble Six that makes them laugh, no matter how circumstances are.

Red Engineer: A replica of the Engineer from TF2, sentry and dispenser included. He's very generous, like if there's one last cookie in the cookie jar that accidentally falls in the toilet, then he'll be there to give it up! He also talks alot, and has a creative imagination.

Psyche Illution: An astronomer, and also the Meg Griffin in their group; like for example: every group needs a particular somepony to tease more than anypony else, and say shut up to alot. Well, that's him! At least he's very honest all the time, no doubt about it, we can always trust him.

Aquatic Armor: A pony from a far-away land, and always wears blue armor, because that's his family heirloom, and it's all of his family that he's got left; that and his sister. Aqua is very kind, and will almost never say no, and doesn't continue an argument.

Crèmepop: Flare's special somepony, also from Mareami, and had the same problems he had. She's got alot of social problems, but she's very kind, but gets stressed out easily.

Black Thunder: Crystal's special somepony, who's a fantastic skateboarder, but he's normally the one that takes the pain more than anypony else, if you know what I mean.

Wind Racer: Aqua's sister, that is very playful, and very strong hearted. She always shows her aggressive side, like she never admits if she's wrong or sad or defeated.

Candy Cotton: Rainbow Dash's little sister that moved in with her after their parents don't bother listening to her. She's like her older sister; athletic, show-off, loyal, but gets angry is she lacks attention.

b]Dr. Porker Swinebutt: The main antagonist of the series, and is a pig. No seriously, he ain't a pony, he's actually a pig. He's a scientist, very smart, smarter than most other scientists, probably Jimmy Neutron or Dexter smart. He used to be teased alot for his name until Flare came, and Swinebutt used a device to get all the attention to Flare, and make himself popular, but it all changed after Flare left. Flare and Swinebutt use to be best friends until Swinebutt betrayed him. After that, Flare got so angry, destoryed his lab, and stole his trailer (which is what Flare currently lives in). After that, Swinebutt swore revenge to Flare, and make sure he ruins his life, same way Flare ruined his. Swinebutt's main source of weaponery is his mechanical unicorn horn he invented.

Boorlie Pomodoro: Flare's business rival that runs a BBQ restaurant across the street from his shop. Since Flare's shop has so much more costumers than him, he tries to steal his secret recipe, and have one of the best shops in all of Equestria, instead of him.

b]Flare's Fish: Darrel, a black molly that's high-spirited, and loves to have fun. Rainbow, a rainbow fish that leads the other fish, and knows what's best for everyone. Dorthey, another rainbow that wants to take Rainbow's job; she also likes to tease. Yoyo, a yoyo loach that loves to eat. Piddles, an albino catfish that complains and sleeps alot. The fish can communicate with eachother and other animals, but Flare cannot understand them.

Apollo: Blaze's pet phoenix, and a good friend of Flare's fish. Blaze can communicate with Apollo.

Published 2013-09-23 23:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-05 20:17:06 UTC

Grand Theft Royality

Hello, brahs and sistas! Hello! Hello! This is Crimson Flare Gun from Friendship is Epic! We just recently finished with Book 2 not too long ago, and was that an awesome possum ending wasn’t it? Book 3 will be around about the same time as Season 4, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Have you ever seen that movie, Equestria Girls? You know the much underrated movie long special that rips off Monster High in a way? The one with the character no one seems to like, goes by the name of Brad? Well good, because I didn’t see that movie because it isn’t in my universe. It’s either live it or miss it, and my choice is live it. Luckily Brad won’t be having any major appearances in this story, so I’m sure you’re glad about that, and unlike that movie, classes are going to appear, so the high school setting won’t seem completely useless.

Anyways, I hope you read some of Friendship is Epic to know what’s going on here. I don’t want to start up any spoilers. So we have me, and we have my friends from the Noble Six clan, Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor in here, along with my sister Water Gun, my marefriend Crèmepop, and we even have a couple of my arch-nemesiseseseseseseseses in here. Sorry, no Keith though, Keith was unable to make it, but we have a ton of fan favorites in here, so just sit back and enjoy the story if you can.

We start off our story at Ponyville, in spring time; it was beautiful day out, [artly cloudy, around 78 degrees. I was at my pizza shop, not doing anything but watching TV. Its 3 PM and the lunch-rush just ended. Only a few ponies coming in for linner, but everypony was satisfied, so I was just watching TV with my employees.

“We now return to: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader Monkey, on Ox.” The TV announcer said.

“Alright, Mr. Bananas; you are on to the million-bit question! “ Jeff Coltworthy started. “What is the slogan of Mattress Giant?”

“OOO OOO OOO AHH AHH AHH! OOO OOO OOO AHH AHH!” the monkey cried.

“Oooo, so close! You added too many ‘ooos’ and ‘ahhhs’ there; but you did a fantastic job, Mr. Bananas! You walk out of here with 30,000 bits, and we thank you for joining the show!” Jeff said.

“Ah it’s no problem! I was only here because I was bananas to be on this show!” the monkey said. Just before the show ended, an important news interruption had to be made.

“We interrupt this program for an important news alert! My name is Grass Marks, and we are currently live at Canterlot castle where a very recent crime was committed here.” The newspony started.

“Whoa! Who has the guts to commit a crime at Canterlot castle?” asked Lyra Heartstrings, one of my employees.

“Last night, somepony broke into Canterlot castle. Report says nothing was stolen, but the security feed showed the mysterious pony was walking out of the room that held a Universal-Transporter Mirror.” Grass Marks said. “We go live to Royal Guard Captain, Shining Armor at the scene.”

“I don’t know why Shining spends so much time in Canterlot. Shouldn’t he be with his wife?” I commented.

“So here’s the room that mysterious pony was hanging out in.” Shining Armor explained. “As you can see, this room is NOT guarded. We didn’t think anypony wanted any of the junk in this room, but whatever it was, we were assuming they were attempting to use the Universal Transport Mirror.”

“Interesting. What does this mirror do, captain?” Grass Marks asked.

“It does what it’s named to be. Princess Celestia once used this mirror for research purposes only, until a former-student of hers went through the portal, and since then, they just stuffed it in this old storage room, not wanting to use it anymore.” Shining explained.

“And do you know anything about this former student?” Grass Marks asked.

“I cannot say. Princess Celestia never explained who she was.” Shining said.

“Can you give anymore detail on what the mirror does, Captain Armor?” Grass Marks asked.

“This mirror is beyond my comprehension, Mr. Marks. It stopped being used even before I joined the royal guard. Took place a couple of years before my younger sister Twilight Sparkle became the princess’s student.” Shining explained.

“And where is the mirror now? We need our cameras to take a good look at it.” Grass asked.

“Sorry, but nopony must get anywhere near the mirror as it gets transferred.” Shining said.

”Transferred to where?” Grass asked.

“That information is classified for the time being.” Shining said.

“I see. So what is the royal guard going to do right now?” Grass asked.

“Boost security to make sure no break-ins is occurred; although many of my guard are moving to the Crystal Empire to make sure the transfer is successful.” Shining said.

“By doing that, you just told us the location of the mirror.” Grass pointed out.

“No I- Oh….. *bleep*!” Shining said angrily, as the TV censored him.

“Wow! An intergalactic portal to another world! Sounds very tempting!” said Bon Bon, my other employee.

“I wonder if it’ll take us to the HUMAN WORLD! I get to finally live the dream!” Lyra said happily.

“Lyra, nopony wants to go to the human world!” I said as I chuckled and shook my head.

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure of that?” Lyra asked as she stared at me mischievously.

“Gimmie a break, sista! Being a human is….” I say the next part in a high pitched voice, “…LAAAAAAAME!”

“As if! Being a human is awesome! I would certainly give up everything to be one of them!” Lyra said.

“Lyra, believe me, giving up everything just to be another species is a stupider idea than Cartoon Network canceling Ed Edd n Eddy.” said Bonnie.

Afterwards, a cutaway gag shows Cartoon Network giving an announcement on TV. “I am sorry, my fellow fillies and colts, but we must cancel Ed Edd n Eddy now.” a Cartoon Network announcer said sadly.

“SAY WHAT?!” a filly yelled.

“THAT IS THE BEST SHOW EVER! WHY CANCEL IT?!” a colt cried. Another colt started screaming and shaking the TV until it broke.

“Oh lookie, foals! Adventure Time!” the Cartoon Network announcer said.

“Uhh, what did you say you were canceling?” the filly asked.

“I don’t remember why I was so mad!” the first colt said.

“MOMMY! We need a new TV!” the second colt whined. The cutaway gag ends there.

“Why would you not like my dream, Bonnie?” Lyra whined.

“Because humans are jerks! They’re greedy, they love war, they know nothing on friendship, they pretend to like their in-laws just so they get money from them, and look at those fingers! They creep me out!” Bonnie explained.

“But the fingers are the best part, Bonnie! You can grab stuff with them, and not worry about having any magic!” Lyra explained.

“I don’t need magic to survive. I can carry stuff with my hooves just fine.” Bonnie said as she tries to pick up her drink with her hoof. All she kept doing was pushing the glass around that was sitting on the counter, struggling to pick it up. She then got the idea by moving the glass with her arm, and sliding it on her other hoof. “Ta daaa! How you like them apples, Lyra?” Lyra then pushes the glass slightly and it falls off her hoof and hits the floor. “Oh you’re just the worse.” Bonnie said, glaring at Lyra.

“If you have fingers, you’ll never have to worry about someone just sliding the glass off your hooves. Besides, you need four legs to walk as a pony.” Lyra explained. “If you’re a human, you only need two legs!” Lyra suddenly stands up on her hind legs while holding onto the counter. “See? Look how tall I am!”

“You’re only using the counter as support, Lyra.” Bonnie pointed out, still glaring at her.

“Well of course I need the counter to support me! I’m still a pony, if you haven’t realized.” Lyra said, letting go of the counter and then losing her balance and falling over on her back.

“Hey, leave her alone, Bonnie!” I ordered her. “If Lyra wants to be something, she should live it if you she wants to! Don’t stand in her way! I mean, nopony thought I’d be a famous pizza shop owner! Now look at me!”

“I suppose you have point there, Flare.” Bonnie said, feeling bad.

“Hey you rhymed!” I pointed out. Just as we were hanging, a strange pony I never seen before walks inside my shop. She looked like a beige unicorn pony with a red and yellow mane that was sort of the style of Rarity’s.

“Sup sista? Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor, where even something that smells like an old sock tastes so good! How can I help you?” I asked the pony.

“I find your service and atmosphere disturbing.” The pony said.

“Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me! If you don’t like it, go to the BBQ place across the street; as if you’ll survive with that food.” I teased.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.” The pony said.

”Well deal with it. What can I get you?” I asked.

“Do you have any idea who I am?!” the pony yelled at me, pretty close to my face.

“Yes, you’re just a random pony shouting in my face, that needs to say it, not spray it. LAWL!” I teased as I wiped my face.

“My name is Sunset Shimmer. Whatever I ask for, I get it.” the pony explained.

“Hey, as long as you have the correct amount of change, then I’ll do whatever you say.” I said.

“Excellent! I’ll take a large pepper, squash, and asparagus pizza with a half-dozen cinnamon rolls, and a 2-liter parasprite.” Sunset ordered.

“Coming right up!” I said as I wrote down the order, ripping it out of the sticky, and sticking it on Bonnie’s face. “C’mon, chop chop! This is no time to be standing around! We got orders to fill!” Bonnie and Lyra suddenly entered the kitchen to make the food for Sunset Shimmer. I turned to Sunset and started a conversation with her. “I like your mane!”

“Who wouldn’t?” Sunset asked.

“I’m serious, I like it! It has the same style as my friend Rarity, and the same color as my friend Blaze.” I said.

“Good for you.” Sunset said sarcastically. “Is my food going to be ready soon?”

“You can’t rush perfection.” I said with a big grin on my face and letting out a little squee.

“I can see that.” Sunset said.

“I haven’t seen you around here before.” I said.

“I’m a tourist.” Sunset said.

“Well it’s a good thing you chose Ponyville as a vacation. None of your bully scum from the big cities. Good friendly folk!” I said.

“I see.” Sunset said.

“So I was having a conversation with one of my employees and she says she always wanted to be a human.” I said.

“That’s very nice. I had those dreams too.” Sunset said as she rolled her eyes, not caring about the conversation.

“You know, if you find a way to get to the human world, you should give me a call. I can tell Lyra all about it.” I suggested, giving her my business card.

“Uh huh.” Sunset said.

“Hey, if you think I’m asking you on a date, I’m already taken.” I said.

“Oh…. How sad. There goes my chance.” Sunset said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, Sunset, but I have a lot of single friends. I think you should be perfect for my friend Adventure Blade. He has your attitude.” I said.

“That’s ok. I’m good.” Sunset said.

“Order up!” Lyra said, hooving me over a pizza box, a brown bag, and a 2-liter soda.

“Here you go, Sunset! I know this stuff won’t give you the shimmers at night! LAWL!” I teased her.

”Thank you.” Sunset said, paying me, grabbing the pizza with her magic, and was about to walk out.

“Wait, wait! Don’t go!” I begged as I ran towards front of my door.

”Look, I have places to be right now, so stand aside, weirdo.” Sunset demanded me.

“Look, I know you’re a tourist and all, and you have places to be, but I could help you fit right in!” I suggested.

“Thanks, but I can handle myself.” Sunset said, trying to walk around me, but I kept blocking the way.

“But by the looks of things, you’re in an awful hurry.” I said.

”Noooo! You think?” Sunset asked sarcastically, starting to feel annoyed.

“But I want to help out in anyway possible.” I begged.

“Will you move out of the way?! I have to get to Canterlot, so do you mind?” Sunset asked, losing her patience.

“Canterlot? Well, you better be careful over there. They have a crime watch in effect.” I said.

“They do?” Sunset asked.

”Yeah, I saw it on the news. Somepony broke into Canterlot castle last night and now they’re transferring some sort of intergalactic mirror of some sort over to the Crystal Empire.” I said.

“Oh…. Darn it!” Sunset whispered to herself.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

”I… I gotta go.” Sunset said, pushing me aside, and running out of the shop in a hurry.

“WAIT! You forgot your receipt!” I yelled.

“What was that girl up to?” Lyra asked.

“No idea, and yet I don’t care.” I said.

“Flarey! I got the bathrooms cleaned up!” said Crèmepop, my other employee, as well as my special somepony.

“Possum grade awesome work, Crèmepop! I knew I could count on you!” I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Aww, anything for my Flarey-Wary!” Crème said, giving me a nuzzle. Lyra looked like she was about to barf. “So, Flare? I was wondering; did you have any dates while you were in high school?”

“Sure did! They’re really healthy, you know?” I said.

”Not the vegetables, silly! Like a marefriend; like what you have now!” Crème said. “Well besides Blueberry Pie of course.”

“Hey, I really have nothing to say about anypony in high school. High school was complete garbage for me.” I complained.

“It was, huh?” Crème asked.

“You don’t know the half of it!” I said.

“Well, did you try anything to make yourself more popular?” Crème asked.

“I tried everything! I even tried running for class-prez! I lost by…. Uhhh…. I don’t remember how much voted for me. I probably lost by everypony!” I said.

“Wow. What did you promise them?” Crème asked.

“I promised them a bully-free community, a longer breaktime, get the libraries to only have books on things that the students were interested in, and even get daleks to be the hall monitors.” I explained. A cutaway shows the most popular mare at my old school by the name of Blueberry Pie, trotting in the school halls, and runs into a dalek. The Dalek aims its cannons right at her.

“First request: Present Hall Pass!” the dalek demanded.

“Uhh, here it is. I’m just on my way to powder my nose.” Blueberry Pie said, showing it the hall pass.

“Second request: Present hall pass!” the dalek demanded again.

“Uhh, it’s right here.” Blueberry Pie said, showing it the hall pass again.

“Hall pass not identified! EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!” the dalek demanded.

“What the hay is wrong with you?! I got this from the teacher! Now get out of my way!” Blueberry demanded

“Talking back to hall monitor will not be tolerated! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” the dalek yelled as it started shooting at Blueberry. She started screamming and ran away. The gag ends there.

“You know, I just wish I had the chance to relive high school again.” I said to Crèmepop.

“It’s ok, Flare! You graduated and you made it to success!” Crème said.

“Yeah, you’re right, babe! You’re right!” I nodded.

“Wow… listen to you, stating the obvious.” Crème complained. “I know you like to be right, but that was just ridiculous.” Just then, Spike runa inside my shop and ran over to me, calling my name.

“Sup brah?” I asked.

“A letter from Canterlot.” Spike said, giving me a scroll.

“Holy Wizard of Strength, they think it’s me!” I said frightening.

“Who thought what was you?” Crème asked.

“The princesses think it was me who broke inside! Well, they won’t take me alive! NOT NOW!” I cried. I then suddenly ran outside and I started running away from my shop and running away from Ponyville. “They won’t catch me! No, sir! Not without a fight!” I ran, and I ran, and I ran, and I ran, and Iran  That right there is a country! Then after a while of running, I slammed into a building, opened the back door, and ran inside. I was inside a kitchen of some sort, so I continued running and then….. oh…. I was back where I started. “HA! They’ll never take me a- oh.”

“Flare, quit fooling around, and take the scroll!” Spike demanded, throwing the scroll at my face. I used my magic to open the scroll, and I read it.

The note reads: “Dear Flare Gun, You and your friends have been assigned to help protect the Universal Transport Mirror, and make sure it’s safely taken to the Crystal Empire. Make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hooves. We’ll meet you there! Your friend, Princess Luna.”

“Wow! Isn’t that great, Flare? You’re going on an important mission!” Crème said excitedly.

“Why ask the Noble Six to do it? Why not ask the phony Princess Twilight and her friends?” I asked with an attitude.

“HEY! Don’t talk about Twilight like that!” Spike yelled at me, poking my nose.

“It’s not her though, it’s the wings, and this whole princess thing! I mean, she didn’t even do anything but create her own magic! She just solved the cutie mark crisis in a flash. She didn’t even take time to think of a plan. She just went straight to the conclusion!” I complained.

“Flare, Twilight is smart, don’t get your jealousy in the way of anything.” Spike said.

“I’m not jealous, I just think…. Isn’t 3 princesses enough? I mean, by the looks of things, anypony can become a princess! Maybe even Big Mac!” I said. Big Mac was outside flying in the sky in a princess outfit, and a chorus in the background sang; ‘Princess Big Mac!’

“That’s not true! Celestia won’t just make ANYPONY a princess.” Spike corrected me.

”Oh yeah? Then how do you explain alicorn OCs?” I asked.

“Alicorn what now?” Spike asked.

“Oh. Well then, I guess I’m going to the Crystal Kingdom then!” I said. “Come on, Crème!”

”Why am I going?” Crème asked.

“You’re my special somepony now, Crème. I’m taking you everywhere I go, as long as it’s safe, but who would want a dusty old mirror?” I explained.

“Wouldn’t your sister want one?” Spike asked.

“Yeah that’s true. Water would think of any excuse to look at herself. That’s pretty much why she keeps asking me to brush my teeth and smile every time I look at her.” I said.

“Ok! I guess we better start packing!” Crème said excitedly.

“That’s awesome! Looks like it’s time for the Noble Six to rise again! PRAISE THE WIZARDS!” I yelled. “Now then, fillies and gentlecolts… the opening to this special!”

“Good. That’ll give me some time to help me choose what sort of clothes my human should wear.” Crème whispered to me.

“You had plenty of time to do it before we started making this. Why haven’t you picked?” I whispered to her.

“My contract says I’m not allowed to have torn short-shorts and a bikini top. I need to look appropriate enough but I still want to look sexy.” Crème whispered back to me. Ok well that’s enough of that. Time for the opening credits of Equestria Brahs! As we show the opening, my friends in the Noble Six and I are here to sing a parody of the original Equestria Girls cafeteria song, because we don’t have the rights to sing ‘I Got the Music in Me’, so this is the best we got.

“Hello Equestria!” I yelled.

“Hi!” Blaze yelled.

“Howdy!” Engie yelled.

“What up?” Psyche asked.

“Yo!” Crystal yelled.

“Hello.” Aqua said.

“C’mon Aqua, you can do better than that!” Engie persuaded him.

“Umm… hey.” Aqua said.

“C’mon, Aqua, shout loud!” Blaze persuaded him.

“Heeeeeeeeeeey.” Aqua said calmly.

“Close enough. Are we ready to make some noise?!” I yelled.

“No.” Psyche said.

“Well shut up, Psyche! Who asked you?” I asked.

“I’m ready to make some noise!” Crystal yelled. “Talking counts as noise, right?!”

“Sure does! Now let’s get ready to rumba!” I yelled. Shroom Films presents… the first opening credit title popped up and my friends in the Noble Six start to sing. “Hey, hey, everybody, we require our weekly pay, cause we may seem so greedy, just like Conrad Murray. But if you look a little deeper, you will then see, that I’m all you just expected to be!” a few guitar strings played as the next credit comes up A My Little Pony fanfic production…. “Hey, hey, everybody, we’re hear to pout that spreading the lulz is what it’s all about – we’re here to fulfill our destinies, that is ruining in your day, until we decide to think of another way. We are Equestria Brahs and we’re here to shout, that the magic of friendship is what we really doubt…”

“Well kinda.” Crystal said. Written by MegaSean45.

“We are Equestria Brahs and we’re here to say, we like to take things a less serious way…” my friends sang.

“Equestria Brahs-hahahaas.” I sang.

Psyche began to rap the next part, even though I’m against it, but I heard he’s good. “Blaze Goldheart has nothing to fear…” MegaSean45 as Flare Gun and Dr. Swinebutt. “…nobody knows robotics like Red Engineer – Aquatic Armor is afraid of heights – Psyche looks good in striped red tights…” Brony with the Bowtie as Blaze Goldheart and Red Engineer.

“It’s true.” I said.

“Crystal Iceblast only wants to have fun – but the one who ruins it is Crimson Flare Gun…” Psyche rapped. Anonymous as Crystal Iceblast and Water Gun.

Blaze sang the next part, “Anger management, stupidity…”

Engie sang the next part, “Wiseguy, bully, social anxiety.”

Aqua sings next part, “Or we’ll give ya arrow to the knees.” Troy as Psyche Illusion.

“AAAAAAAH RUN AWAY! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR KNEES!” the entire royal guard at Canterlot cry out in fear, interrupting the song, and they should be ashamed of themselves. Whatever, let’s continue.

So my friends are started to sing again, “We are Equestria Brahs and we’re here to explain – no need to press thumbs down right away if we become a pain; we are Equestria Brahs and we’re here to scream – so loud that you can’t hear old men’s broken spleen…” The 94th Nickachu as Aquatic Armor.

“Equestria Brahs!” I sang, and then I said normally, “And I’m not saying we’re women’s clothing, so shut up.”

“Ready for your solo, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“Awww, fine.” I complained as I started to sing my solo; “I’m here to be myself, I’m sorry if it kills you, you better get used to it, no need to judge after chapter two.” Alex as Crèmepop.

All six of us started to sing now; “If you follow me, it would probably be a big mistake, but it’s a 50-50 chance so what sort of chance will you taaaaaaaake?” Some British Guy as Boorlie Pomodoro. “Jump up, say how high (HOW HIGH?), 50 push-ups, then good night, then wake up at 5 AM, gonna start a fight. Jump up, be a clown (HEY, HEY KIDS!), blow balloons then paint them brown, Canterlot Wondercolts, I admit they’re not buffoons. Jump up, shut your mouth……..” and then the song ends there. Anyways let’s get started. Please enjoy Equestria Brahs! Praise the Wizards!

Author's Note

This is the first chapter of Equestria Brahs! Now the chapters in here are much shorter than the chapters in Friendship is Epic, that is because this is supposed be more like a movie-event type story, so no full chapters. In this chapter, I wanted Flare to know how cool it was to be a human, which would lead to the main moral of this story, I'll explain that later. Plus I wanted Flare to meet Sunset Shimmer for the first time. Now, things might be different between what happened in here and what happened in Equestria Girls. In theory-wise, Sunset Shimmer might've just came to Equestria from the Crystal Empire, but there was no actual proof of that happening. That glow in that locked door in the Crystal Empire where Sunset came out from could've just been a spell to unlock the door, not the mirror working it's magic.

Now this chapter isn't that different from the remake. Originally, there was gonna be a chapter that just serves as an instruction manuel for that story, introducing the characters and what this story contains. It was a dumb move, so this is now the first chapter. It has a proper intro in here as well. The song that serves as the opening credits is also different. The original song was "I Got the Music In Me" by Kiki Dee Band, but I wanted to make a more fitting opening for the story, so I just parodied the Cafeterria Song from the original Equestria Girls, combining it with the Equestria Girls song that's similar to that one.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall... Actually It's Standing

So I went over to my trailer so I can pack up my stuff so I can go to the Crystal Empire. I marched into my bedroom, took out my suitcase, and started putting in a couple of vests, as well as a few other stuff. My fish were watching me pack.

“What’s ol Flare up to?” Piddles asked.

“Another trip, huh? How many trips is he going to take?” Yoyo asked.

“He’s not running away is he?! PLEASE! Don’t’ tell me he’s running away!” Darrel cried. “PLEASE, RAINBOW! TELL ME!” he shouted in his face.

“DARREL! Calm down! He’s not running away!” Rainbow yelled at him, trying to calm him down.

“You don’t know that! He could be abandoning us, like he always does! I know there’s something fishy about him.” Darrel said.

“And there’s nothing fishy about us?” Yoyo teased.

“Darrel, every time Flare goes on a trip, you always panic, because you think he isn’t coming back. He will come back.” Rainbow said.

“Hey, with him gone, more time to ourselves, right?” Dorthey asked.

“Exactly, Dorthey! Exactly! See? C’mon, buddy! Be more positive! He’s still here!” Rainbow said, patting Darrel on the back.

“I hope he doesn’t forget to install the auto-feeder again. Remember what happened last time?” Yoyo asked. A cutaway shows all the fish in the tank, in nothing but dry bones. Yoyo was the only one that was alive and he was all fat. Yoyo gives a burp, and the gag ends.

“Don’t lie, Yoyo! That never happened.” Pearl said.

“Oh yeah, Pearl? How would you know that? You were eaten!” Yoyo corrected her.

”If I was eaten, how am I still here?” Pearl asked.

“You’re all ghosts. You’re all figments of my imagination! I’ve gone crazy! Right, I’m crazy right? I can’t feel you right? Piddles, you’re not there right?” Yoyo kept asking, while pushing on Piddles, and shoving him.

“Hey, hey! Trust me, if I was a figment of your imagination, Yoyo, I wouldn’ve even felt that.” Piddles said.

“That’s what a mirage would WANT ME TO THINK! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! ALL OF YOU!” Yoyo started to spaz out and then hide inside the fish-sized castle in the tank.

“Don’t mess with any of my make-up in there!” Pearl shouted while knocking on the castle door. While the fish were having their conversation, I got my suitcase all packed up.

“There we go fishies, all packed up! I might as well get that special treasure from my personal chest since Water is obviously going to take a while to determine which make-up or dresses she should take it with her.” I said as I trotted to my personal chest, but before I opened it, Water was standing right behind me.

“Finished packing!” Water yelled.

“Ow! Do you have to yell in my ear, sis?” I complained.

“Sorry about that, bro! Wow, I’m finished packing and you’re not? How many hours has it been?” Water teased.

“It hasn’t been any hours, Water. You just packed pretty fast. How could you though?” I asked. “You never get done this fast! You don’t know which dresses or make-up to take!”

“Hey, it can’t be hard to choose if I just bring everything I have!” Water said, pointing to seven suitcases outside my bedroom.

“Wow, pretty smart, sis. Pretty smart.” I said sarcastically. “Now all you have to do is find out how to carry it all!”

“No problem!” Water said with a big grin on her face. She used her magic to pick up all her suitcases at the same time. “Ta da!”

“Oh, why didn’t I think of that?” I chuckled and bopped myself on the head. But just then, Water takes all the suitcases, and places them all on my back. Yes they were really heavy, and I fell on the ground.

“You’re gonna carry them! That’s what I’m going to do with them!” Water said, still grinning.

“I guess I should’ve seen that coming.” I said annoyed. I took whatever I needed out of my personal chest, I finish packing, I install the fish feeder, and we both walk out of my trailer along with me carrying all these suitcases. I start sweating, and grunting, and I just threw the suitcases on the ground, and dust off my legs.

“HEY! There is fragile stuff in a couple of these suitcases!” Water complained, and she said ‘fragile’ how it was spelled.

“Carry them yourself! I nearly broke my spine!” I complained.

“Heya Flare! Howdy Water!” my friend Red Engineer said while walking over to Water and I.

“Hey, Engineer! What’s up?” Water asked.

“Nothin much, just protectin’ the intelligence.” Engie said.

“I wonder what’s in that case anyway?” I asked.

“Ah wouldn’t look if ah were you. Scout tried lookin’ inside, and the only thing ah could see in that room was him taking a long dirt nap.” Engie said.

“He killed himself?” I asked.

“NO! What is wrong with you, partner? Ah never said that! Ah said he took a dirt nap. Room was full of dust from the desert and he was just asleep on the sand. Ah gotta say, once you find out what’s in that case, y’all would go crazy!” Engie said.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Did you bring it with you?” I asked.

”Sure did!” Engie said, patting his suitcase.

“Yo dawg, I heard you like suitcases. So we put a suitcase in a suitcase!” Water said.

“I brought something really special with me.” I reached into my vest pocket and took out a small black box.

“Whoa, what is that?” Water asked.

”Uhh, it’s a small black box. How can you not know it?” I asked with an attitude.

“GEE FLARE! I was asking what’s inside!” Water complained. “You know, you’re a joke. You’re gonna make me scream! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH!”

Engie started to laugh, “You sound like a eagle or a hawk!”

“Hawk smash!” Water cried.

“No, that’s ‘Hulk’, not ‘hawk’.” Engie corrected her.

“Oh how would I know? The words sound exactly the same! Hawk scratch then… I guess?” Water asked. “Anyways, Engie, you’re distracting me. Flare, what’s in that box?”

“Something very valuable to me, something I won’t be able to live without. I swear, if I lost whatever’s in this box, I’d give up ANYTHING to get it back! That’s how important this is to me! It’s a valuable treasure and I can’t let anypony let hooves on it! ANYPONY!” I explained. I looked beside me and I saw my other friend Crystal Iceblast trying to reach for the box. I leaned the box away from her, and I whispered, “ANYPONY!”

“C’mon, Flare! I won’t tell anypony!” Crystal begged.

“Sorry, Crystal, but this box is way too valuable for anypony to touch or see.” I said as I placed the box back inside my vest pocket. “That is that. Now, let’s head over to the trainstation and help guard the Reversing Mirror.”

“Reservin’ mirror?” Engie asked.

“I mean, Universal Transport Mirror!” I corrected myself. “Dang, I watch too much Xiaolin Showdown!” So we all took our suitcases and trotted over to the trainstation. Safer transport than airplane, but still slower; the only reason I like taking a train better is because I don’t have to worry about my ears popping, or babies crying; not to mention lame in-flight movies! Just then, a tiny spider bot was watching us and it listened to our conversation. Looks like somepony was spying on us. I didn’t notice the bot at first, but once we got to the station, I kinda noticed a glimpse of it. So…. somepony is spying on me. I think it’s my old buddy Dr. Swinebutt, but I can’t skip to any conclusions at this time. So we all went by the train, but the guards wouldn’t let us in.

“Halt! All rail transport must be shut down at this time to make way for royal business.” A guard said.

“That’s alright, buddy! I’m a friend of Luna’s! She’s sent me and my friends here to help guard the mirror.” I explained giving the guard a scroll.

The guard takes the scroll and reads it; “Roses are Red, Sunflowers are gold, you are my darling little angel that’ll never make me feel old?”

“Oh, sorry! That’s a poem I wrote!” my friend Blaze Goldheart said nervously, while taking the scroll. “It’s for my daughter.”

”How did it end up in MY pocket though, Blaze?” I asked him.

“I dunno man.” He said.

“Alright, here’s the scroll!” I took the actual scroll out of my pocket, and was about to give it to them, but before they grabbed it, I whooshed it away. “Oops, too slow! You have to be faster than that if you want this!” I kept teasing the guards, giving it to them and then whooshing it away, and they even tried to fool me and take it when I don’t expect it, but I was one step ahead of them! Suddenly, one of the guards got angry and he just grabbed the scroll away from me with his magic. “Awww, way to ruin the fun!” I complained.

The guard read the scroll and said; “Alright, this looks good. You can go in!”

“Thanks!” I said as I walked inside along with Water, Crème, Blaze, Crystal, Engie.

“EPIC FALLOUT!” Crystal cried as she jumps inside the train. Just them, a couple of more friends of mine, Aquatic Armor and Psyche Illusion showed up and followed us inside as well.

“Show off!” one of the guards whispered to Aqua.

“Excuse me?” Aqua asked the guard feeling insulted.

“Quit being a show-off!” the guard said with an attitude.

“Uhh, I wasn’t doin’ anythin.” Aqua said confusingly.

“Yeah, you think you’re soooooo cool with the blue armor! Seriously, most of us guards have been dreaming of blue armor for generations; and now you show up with your blue armor, and you’re not even part of the guard! You make sick!” the guard said rudely.

“Oooooook….” Aqua said feeling really confusingly. He just ignored him and just walked inside the train awkwardly. Inside the train, we got ourselves in position so we can protect the mirror. There weren’t many guards though, in fact, the only guards were the ones outside.

“Hey where are all the guards?” Psyche asked.

“Reporting back to Canterlot. We need to max-up security in the castle after the raid.” a guard said.

“So who’s going to help protect the mirror?” Crystal asked.

“Uhh, you are. You’re helping yourselves.” a guard said.

“Alone?” Crystal asked.

“Yeppers! Have a nice trip!” a guard said as they shut the train door, and the train whistle blew.

“Oh how nice of Luna to make us the only ones to protect this piece of junk!” Crystal complained.

“Calm down, Crystal! Luna has her reasons. I don’t think she would’ve given us this job if we couldn’t do it.” Blaze explained.

“Well, we have guard duty, and so far nopony is attacking. What do you guys wanna do?” Psyche asked.

“I’m thinking of a number between 3 and 5! What is it?” Water asked, giving out a riddle.

“4.” Aqua guessed.

“It’s obviously 4.” Blaze guessed.

“3 ½ !” Crystal guessed.

“BINGO! Crystal got it!” Water said.

“Wow, that was smart.” Aqua said.

“You know me, Aqua!” Water said, smirking at him.

“So, Flarey? Is there anything else you did when you tried to run for president back at your old school?” Crème asked.

“Yes, I ran around the school many times until I became prez!” I said.

“No, I mean, what did you promise the students?” Crème asked.

“I already told you everything pretty much. Except I wanted the school’s spirit anthem to be Venus!” I said.

“What?” Crème asked.

“Venus! It makes a great anthem!” I went through my suitcase, and took out my boombox. Unlike all the other boom boxes I have, this one doesn’t explode. I turned on the boombox, and it played Venus by Bananarama. The music started, and I started dancing in the middle of the train. Everypony just looked at me like they were saying ‘what is he doing?’, except for Crystal and Water, they liked it. I started singing along with the song: “Goddess on the mountain top-top-top! Burning like a silver flame-flame-flame! The summit of beauty and love-love-love! And Venus was her name! WHOA! She’s got it! Yeah baby she’s got it!” Before got to continue, Psyche walked over to my boombox and turned the music off. I continued singing though. “Well, I’m your Venus, I’m your fire, at-“ Just then, I figured out the music was off. “HEY! I was still listening to that!” I complained to Psyche.

“Flare, we don’t have time to be singing and dancing. We have to guard this mirror with our lives.” Psyche reminded me.

“Ah don’t think the letter said anythin’ about guardin’ with our lives.” Engie said as he read the letter I got from Luna.

“I wonder what this mirror does anyway?” Crystal asked, as she was about to touch it.

“You think it’s a good idea to touch it, Crystal?” Blaze asked.

“If we’re guarding it and Luna knows we’re reckless, then it’s obviously safe to touch! Duh!” Crystal said.

“I dunno, mate.” Aqua said. Crystal didn’t listen, so she just went over to the mirror and she touched it, but she released her hoof quickly after she saw her hoof just went right through it.

“AAAH! The mirror’s made of liquid!” Crystal yelled. “Wait, does that mean it’s drinkable?”

“See? I told you it wasn’t safe to touch!” Blaze said.

“Shut up, Psyche!” I instructed him.

“I’m Blaze.” He corrected me.

“I know, but I’m saying shut up to Psyche.” I said.

”What did I do?” Psyche complained.

“You turned off my boombox in the middle of a song, and I won’t take that too kindly.” I warned him.

“Uh huh. Yeah, sure.” Psyche said as he rolled his eyes.

“Hey, Aqua you know a lot about liquid. What was the big idea about my hoof going right through the mirror?” Crystal asked him.

“How should I know? I never seen this thing before and I don’t know what it does.” Aqua said.

“Alright, who knows a lot about liquid stuff? Hmm…” I looked around the train to see if any of my friends knew anything about liquid. Everypony just looked at me confusingly, Crème winked at me, and Water was jumping up and down raising her hoof. “OOO! I know who might know! Shining Armor!”

“Why him?” Engie asked.

”Trust me I know it because of his Liquid Pride.” Water said.

“Liquid pride?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah, the new shampoo brand he made. Didn’t you see the commercial?” Water asked. A cutaway shows Shining walking through the Canterlot park with Princess Cadance on his back, sniffing his mane. Just then, a bunch of other mares came by to sniff his mane too.

“Whoa, ladies! One at a time!” Shining said, pushing them all back.

“I’ll pay your bills for you!” a mare promised.

“I’ll give you two tickets to a cruise!” another mare promised.

“I’ll give you my chocolate chip muffin!” Derpy promised.

Shining looked at the camera and said, “That’s the power of Liquid Pride, baby! Made of 100% manly tears!” He winks at the camera.

“Call 1-800-555-6606 to order your Liquid Pride today, for only $19.99. Ask your doctor if Liquid Pride is right for you. Liquid Pride isn’t for mares, it’s for stallions only. Side effects include: crying, burning eyes, seeing your sister as a princess, and getting trampled on by mares. Use Liquid Pride at your own risk. You must be cutie-marked or older to call.” The TV announcer said.

“Lame! Billy Neighs is better ad salesman.” Water complained as she watched the commercial. The gag ends there. Meanwhile the train makes it to the Crystal Empire and the mirror is still in one piece. An orange pony was waiting outside along with some other Crystal guards. The train door opens.

“Wow! We’re finally here! I wonder if my ancestor is here! I should go see her!” Crystal said excitedly. Crystal has an ancestor who’s a Crystal pony. She’s her great, great… umm, I don’t know how many greats grandmother. She’s still young because the kingdom disappeared and came back. You remember right?

“You guys the Noble Six?” the orange pony asked.

“Oh no, it’s him.” Engie complained.

“Sure is! Hey how come the other guards are sparkler than you?” I asked.

“I’m not really a crystal pony, my friend.” The orange pony said.

“I think you should take more showers like the other guards, just look at them.” Water suggested as she pointed at them.

“Ok, so this is the Universal Transport Mirror, right?” the pony asked.

“Sure is! What’s your name anyway?” Blaze asked.

“They call me Flash Sentry!” the orange pony said.

“UGH!” Engie groaned.

“So you’re a combination of a camera and a turret right?” Crystal asked.

Flash Sentry laughed. “Sure, if that’s how you picture me!”

Crystal then suddenly took a picture of Flash Sentry. “Nope! This is how I picture you!” she said, showing Flash the picture.

“Aw man, I think I blinked!” Flash complained because in the picture his eyes were closed.

“I know how you feel, buddy.” Earl Hickey said as he walked by.

“Alrighty then. Shall we take this mirror over to the castle?” Aqua asked.

“Right away! Please follow me!” Flash instructed us as he led us out of the station and onto the city itself.

“This pony is a complete waste of character.” Engie complained.

“So how long have you been working for the castle guard for, Flash?” Psyche asked.

“I just started last week. I’m kinda new to all this. I moved here because I was really interested in the Crystal ponies! I found them to be pretty amazing!” Flash explained.

“I have an ancestor that lives here, Willow Iceblast! You heard of her?” Crystal asked Flash.

“No, I can’t say I have.” Flash said.

“She’s amazing, dude! She’s purple too!” Crystal said.

“I see.” Flash said.

“I remember bein’ here. It was so relaxin’.” Aqua said.

“I’m still wondering when the Equestria Games is going to come.” Blaze said.

“Oh yeah, Blaze?” Aqua asked.

“That’s right, Aqua! I’ve been preparing myself ever since! Rainbow Dash has been really getting me going in the bedroom!” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows Blaze on a treadmill as Rainbow is flying near him with a stopwatch and yelling at him. “C’MON, BLAZE! GET YOURSELF INTO SHAPE!” Rainbow yelled. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! BULLIES ARE TEASING ROSE! YOU’RE A GARBAGE PONY! I LOVE SOARIN!” After Rainbow shouted that last part Blaze ran on the treadmill faster and faster out of rage. The cutaway ends.

“CRYSTAL!” a voice called.

“WILLOW!” Crystal yelled as a purple crystal pony with a blue mane started running to her and gives her a big hug.

“Hey, Crystal! You didn’t say you were coming!” Willow said excitedly.

“I’m sorry, Willow! I came here on business. We’re transporting this mirror over to the castle.” Crystal said.

“This must be the Universal Transporter Mirror!” Willow assumed as a mirror was riding by.

“No, that’s just Water’s mirror.” Crystal corrected her.

“I never leave home without my big mirror!” Water said as another mirror was going by.

“THIS is the Universal Transporter Mirror!” Crystal said.

“Ah! I can tell because this one is dustier.” Willow said.

“You said it! The Universal Mirror was in storage for a long time.” Psyche said.

“I was talking about Water’s mirror.” Willow corrected him.

“Hey come with us to the castle, Willow. They might be giving us a feast! I can get Cadance to put you on the guest list!” Crystal offered.

“How?” Psyche asked. “She barely knows us.”

“Oh, I already had dinner, but I’ll be happy to walk with you!” Willow said.

“Awesome! C’mon, Willow! There’s so much I need to tell you!” Crystal said as they started walking. “So Flare’s special somepony Crèmepop was captured by Dr. Swinebutt and his goons, and were taken to the Magic World theme park in Mareami, right?”

“Uh huh.” Willow nodded. As Crystal was explaining our recent adventure; we finally made it to the castle grounds with the mirror.

“And so Herb Leafhorn and the Friendship Mafia took us home, Crèmepop became Flare’s special somepony, and we all lived happily ever after!” Crystal said.

“You can’t think of a more original conclusion other than ‘happily after ever’? Because that’s really getting old.” Willow said.

“Yeah that was a pretty fun adventure wasn’t it? It’s too bad we didn’t get to see the whole polka video though.” Blaze said.

“That’s not true, Blaze! I brought a copy with me!” I said as I was carrying a CD.

“Oh really? You should show the video to the princesses, I bet they’ll love it!” Blaze suggested.

“Hey I also have it uploaded YouTube.” I said. So we all entered the castle, the guards took our belongings and we entered the throne room where the crystal guards were blowing their trumpets.

“Aww! The guards are blowing their trumpets at us like we’re royalty! How sweet!” Crystal said.

“Oh, sorry. We thought you were Princess Twilight.” One of the guards said.

“Of course you blow for Twilight. She gains wings and she’s now royalty!” I complained. “It’s my turn to get wings! Somepony give me a Red Bull!”

“Noble Six! It’s good to see you again!” Cadance said with an excited smile.

“Well it was a nice introduction to the guards. It made my day!” Psyche said.

“Hey, where’s Shinin’ Armor?” Engie asked.

“He’s got some royal business at Canterlot because as you may have heard about the crime scene.” Celestia mentioned.

”Plus, since we’re here, somepony has to be in charge.” Luna said.

“So we brought the mirror here. Safe and sound.” Aqua said.

“Thank you all so much for helping guard the mirror! It should be in well hooves here in the Crystal Empire.” Celestia said.

“I shall do my very best in making sure the mirror stays protected, Aunt Celestia.” Cadance said. She then turned to us, and asked, “So how are you all feeling?”

“With our hooves.” Crystal teased.

“Pretty good, Cadance! But guess what?” I asked.

”What?” Cadance asked.

“I’m still mad at you.” I said as I smiled at her.

“That’s fine! You’re all welcomed to stay for the night as well as for dinner!” Cadance said.

”Why that sounds lovely, Cadance! Thank you for the offer!” Blaze said.

“You all must be exhausted after the train ride. You should get settled in your rooms.” Celestia suggested.

“We just got here and yet you’re already askin’ us to get some sleep? How can one train ride make us exhausted? Yeah, like that was SOOOOO much work.” Engie complained.

“I’ve never been here before. This kingdom is nice!” Water said.

“Yeah, I’ve never been to the Crystal Empire before! It’s very nice!” Crème said.

“Hey, everypony is welcome here, Water and Crèmepop!” Cadance said. “But just be on your guard.”

”What’s going on?” Water asked.

”We’re needed to keep more guards patrolling the streets. More and more disappearances have been made ever since our kingdom was opened to the public.” Cadance said.

A cutaway shows a crystal pony trotting around town alone at night, but then a masked pony kidnaps the crystal pony and stuffs her in his sack. “HA! I’m gonna be rich!” the thief said as he runs away. The cutaway ends. After a little over an hour, we all gathered in the dining hall to have a fantastic feast that Cadance’s chefs made for us.

“Wow! Crystal Empire food! They look like they’re made of gems!” Engie said excitedly taking a big bite of a crystal egg plant.

“That’s because they are made of gems.” Cadance said. Engie gasped as he then spit the crystal eggplant out of his mouth, and his teeth shattered like glass.

“Looks like somepony forgot to melt one of these eggplants.” Cadance complained.

“YEAH AH’MF GETTING’ THOSE PEFS A FEASE OF MY MINSH!” Engie yelled with his shattered teeth and he ran inside the kitchen to complain.

“So Cadance? How’s it like running the Crystal Empire?” Psyche asked.

“It’s wonderful, Psyche! It was a lot easier than I expected! The only problem is a lot of paper work!” Cadance said.

“I hear you, sister. I sometimes have to work overnight to get paper work done for my boss.” Psyche complained.

“Trust me; I don’t think your paper work problem is as bad as mine.” Cadance said.

“Now, now, Cadance! No use complaining about it. You’re doing a wonderful job as a princess!” Luna said.

“Thanks, Luna!” Cadance said.

“Didn’t you have the same problem, Luna?” Blaze asked.

“Not really. Celestia was the mare in charge and I’m just a backup. Not as much paper work!” Luna said and grinned.

“Yeah.” Celestia said with an annoyed tone.

“So I was talking to my employee Lyra and she made a great point to me earlier today.” I said.

“Oh yeah?” Aqua asked.

“You got it, brah! She’s been dreaming how much she wanted to be a human!” I said.

“Oh yeah, I heard that today!” Crème nodded.

“She’s been saying how much easier in life it’ll be with hands, and just walking on two legs instead of four, it’ll be easier to type on the computer, it’ll be easier to text, and I won’t have to rely on my magic doing it all.” I said as I tapped on my horn.

“Look, Flare, I know you’re a broman and all, and you love watching My Little Human: Friendship is Greed and War, but you gotta know that being a human is not all as fun as it seems.” Blaze said.

“Oh yeah? You ever been a human before?” I asked.

“No, but I’m saying, MLH shows a lot of violence and backstabbings in the human world. Trust me, Flare. You don’t want to go there.” Blaze advised me.

“Blaze, you can’t tell me what I want and don’t want!” I complained.

“I agree with Blaze, Flare. Being a human just gives nothing but trouble.” Psyche said.

“Since when did you care?” I asked him.

“Naf, ah fink he sould lif the dream!” Engie said peeping his head out of the kitchen.

“What did he say?” I asked.

“He said he agrees, and he doesn’t want you to live the dream.” Crystal said.

“Ah fin’t shay that!” Engie yelled.

“That’s right, Engie! You did say that!” Crystal nooded. Engie just facehooved himself and went back into the kitchen.

“Why do you all care about what I want? I agree with Lyra! Being a human would be awesome!” I said. “Aqua do you agree with me?”

“Cadance, can I be excused?” Aqua asked.

“Flare, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Water said.

“Flare, perhaps…. you should sit down.” Crème suggested.

“GREAT! You got even my own sister and my own marefriend against me!” I yelled. “I don’t know why you want to affect what I dream about! This is Equestria! It’s the land of opportunities! I must live the Equestria dream! If you don’t like my dreams, then why are you friends with me?!”

“Flare Gun, please calm down.” Luna suggested.

“NO! You calm down! I should be able to live my life how I wanna live it; AND NONE OF YOU WILL STAND IN MY WAY!” I yelled.

“Flare, I think you should think twice of what you’re saying. It’s not that they don’t agree with you. They’re not saying don’t live your dream.” Celestia said. “They just want you to be calm.”

“I WAS calm!” I corrected her.

“But now you’re not. I mean, Flare, we’re just persuading you not to live a fantacy life is all.” Blaze said.

“Oh yeah?! Well… YOU KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA DO!” I yelled. “I’m going for a walk in the Canterlot gardens!”

“Flare, this is the Crystal Empire, not Canterlot.” Psyche corrected me.

“Well there better be a garden out there otherwise I’ll a kick a tree, and I hope an anvil falls out!” I yelled.

“What are the odds of anvil falling out of a tree?” Blaze asked. I angrily trotted over to the door but Crème chased me over and held me.

“Flare, don’t take it that way. Don’t me mad at them!” Crème persuaded me.

”Get off me!” I yelled as I pushed her away, and I marched through the castle corridors, looking for a way outside. I opened one of the doors, but a scream was heard and I closed it quickly. “Sorry, sorry!” I said embarrassedly. Crème just sat there in the middle of the halls, sighing with tears in her eyes. I then walked outside, it was pretty dark out. I was walking pretty angrily, and I mumbled to myself, “Some friends they are! If I wanna be a human I should be able to! It’s the Equestrian dream!” As soon as I walked all around the castle grounds, I got really mad. “UGH! There’s no garden out here?!” Just then I kicked a crystal tree, and an anvil fell out of it. “What? I was kidding about the whole an anvil thing! How did an anvil get- Oh… right. Those were my anvils, as traps to capture Cadance after I was mad at her for not inviting Spike to the Equestria Games welcome, even though he was the one that saved her precious kingdom in the first place!” So I sat down on the anvil, and I took that black box out of my vest, and looked at it.

“Oh, sometimes I think twice about what I say. As long as I have this treasure here, then nothing shall get in my way. You know?” I said to myself. “Maybe I was being a little hard on the others. I mean… I’m lucky to have ponies like them; Blaze with his anger issues, Crystal with her stupidiy, Aqua with his social anxiety, Psyche and his wiseguyness- THEY SICKEN ME!”

“But they’re there for you whenever you’re in need of help. No friends are perfect, dude.” Willow Iceblast said to me.

“Oh hey, Willow. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I never left.” Willow said.

“You stood there all this time?” I asked.

“Actually I was sitting on that bench over there.” Willow pointed. “But yeah. I mean, be lucky for what you have, man. Cause without your friends, you’d feel like nothing.”

“Yeah you’re right.” I nodded. “I get my anger issues from my mom mostly. I’m part Italian and part Irish so that would explain it all. I guess I was being too harsh on them. I’m better than that. There was a time I didn’t have friends, or a special somepony like Crèmepop.” I then sighed. “Sigh… maybe I should go apologize to them. I know my friends were just thinking about what’s-“ just then my phone starts to vibrate. I took it out and I saw that my friend Adventure Blade, or Keith has poked me on Facebook. “Oh Keith, not in the mood right now.” I said as I poked him back. “I know my friends were thinking of what’s-“ just then, before I could finish, Keith poked me again. I poked him back and I continued talking. “I know my friends were- SHUT UP, KEITH!”

Just then, I got a Facebook PM from him and the message said, “Oh.”

I typed down my response, “Yeah.”

And then he responded back with one last message. “Ok.” Yes I said Addie wasn’t gonna be in here, but that didn’t count. That was only a Facebook message and poke.

“As I was saying,” I continued. “I know my friends were only thinking of what’s best for me.” I just sighed and took another look at the black box, but as I was looking at it, it WASN’T THERE!

“GASP!” I yelled. I suddenly looked around very worriedly. “Where did my box go?! Where did it go?! AAAH! AAAAH! TINY BOX TIM! No wait… wrong box.” Just then, I saw a spider bot go by, the same one that I saw back in Ponyville, and it had my box. “HEY, STOP! THAT’S MINE!” I chased the spider bot all the way to the castle grounds. “HEY, THAT’S MINE! C’MON, THERE’S SO MANY EXPENSIVE PONIES AROUND HERE! TAKE ONE OF THEM!” I yelled. The spider bot just kept running until we reached the corridors of the castle. The bot opened doors went inside the rooms and shut them behind it. I chased the bot from door to door, like one of those Scooby Doo chases. That same mare from before screamed again when I went inside her room and every time I exited a room, I was wearing a different outfit. I know it was pretty random. Finally, I exited the last room and stood in the middle of the hallway, looking around. The bot went out another door and I spotted it. “HEY!” I yelled and I chased it through the hallway again until we reached a storage room. The bot was just standing there in the middle of the room with nowhere to go.

“I got you now, little sucker! Gimmie back that box!” I demanded. The bot turned and faced the Universal Transport Mirror that so happened to be inside the room. “If you dare go inside that mirror, you’re calling yourself an idiot that likes the new Nickeloden shows.” Just then, the spider bot runs inside the mirror and jumps in. “HA! You just called yourself an idiot that likes the new Nickeloden shows! IN YOUR FACE, ROBOT!” I teased. But still, the bot had something very valuable to me, and I must go through the portal and get it back. Before I jumped in, my sister Water bursted inside the room.

“Flare?! What are you doing?!” Water asked very worriedly.

“Don’t try to stop me, sis! Someone stole something that means everything to me, and I must go through and get it back!” I swore.

“Flare, you’re crazy! You don’t know what’s on the other side!” Water said.

“Yeah, well did the chicken know what was on the other side when it crossed the road?” I asked.

“W-what?” Water asked confusingly.

“Exactly! I’ll be back soon, sis!” I turned to the portal and I jumped inside.

“FLARE, WAIT!” Water yelled as she followed me into the portal and jumped in. We were inside some sort of vortex as we were traveling intergalaticly.

I was screaming as I went through, but I stopped for a second to say, “Wow, dimensional vortexes look so creepy.”

We traveled through time and space and while we were doing so, somepony started singing in the background: “Our whole universe is in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait…” Just then, I saw a lot of pictures of Equestria’s history. “The Earth began to cool, the autothrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, we build a wall (we build the pyramids)! Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, that all started with a big bang- BANG!” I then saw a picture of me and my friends all eating Chinese food in a living room, and then Water and I reached some sort of light and everything faded white. Where am I? Where ever I gone….. they better have cell phone connection. Once I was inside the Crystal castle, I lost my bars. I knew I shouldn’ve used T-Mobile!

Author's Note

In this chapter, we find out what the story is actually going to be about, and how Flare gets to the human world in the first place to look for his personal item from the mysterious spider-bot. I also show a friendship lesson on here in this story, showing not everyone will accept your dream, but you can't let them bother you about it. Flare on the other hoof, doesn't take it so well. This chapter also holds a couple of references to the Crystalized chapter in Friendship is Epic - Book 2, when Flare was mad at Cadance because she didn't invite Spike to the games welcoming, so he laid some traps for her.

Not much changed on the remake of this chapter, except that I added a little bit of hate to Flash Sentry by using Engie as that.

A Whole New World

That was certainly a Big Bang Theory when I was traveling through the space time continuum. I woke up in the middle of a sidewalk near a statue. “Flare? Flare are you alright?” Water asked.

”Water?! Why did you follow me?” I asked.

“I couldn’t let you do this alone!” Water said.

“Well that’s nice of you, Water, but- wow Water, you are the strangest looking ape I’ve ever seen.” I said.

“An ape?” Water asked as she looked down at her body. She was wearing a red sweater with her suitcase cutie mark on the middle of it. She was wearing blue jeans, and her skin was kind of a lighter blue than usual. Her hair remained the same though, pretty long and brown. “Umm… ok, I need an adult.” She said. I looked at my body and I saw fingers, legs, oh cool I’m wearing blue jeans! I’m also wearing a red shirt with my computer mouse cutie mark on it, an open blue jacket, and I was still the same color red as I always was, and my mane (or hair) remained the same. The both of us were still wearing our same shoes as before.

“Water…. I think….. I think….. I’M A CHANGELING!” I yelled.

“What?” Water asked.

“I changed into something I’m not; I’m obviously a changeling again!” I said.

“I don’t think we’re changelings, Flare.” Water said. Water and I looked around the area, and it looked like a high school. There was a street, and a lot of houses.

“Wow Water, this is trippy. I see vehicles that are not getting pulled.” I pointed out. “This is beyond even Swinebutt’s comprehension! This ape world is certainly weird.”

“Seriously, Flare? You’ve been complaining about how you wanted to be a human non-stop, and yet you don’t even know you’re one.” Water complained.

“I’m a human?” I asked. “Are you sure? I’m either supposed to be beige or brown, not red, unless I’m an Indian.”

“Or blue for that matter.” Water said. “I mean, I’m still blue… da be deed a ba die.

“Wow, nice choice of outfit, sis!” I said as I looked at her clothes.

“Oh thank you!” Water said. “You too! But I mean, it would’ve been nicer if I had a custom selection of clothing like on the Wii mii.”

“But you should get rid of those grapefruits that are inside your shirt.” I said, pointing to her chest area. “I mean they look weird.”

“You don’t like them?” Water asked.

“I… I really don’t know…” I said nervously.

“C’mon, we should find out what’s going on here.” Water suggested.

“Right! Onward, to the school!” I yelled. Water started crawling on the ground, and I was just trying to stand up. “Water, what are you doing?”

“Trotting to the school.” Water said.

“Get up, sis. You’re a human now. We have to walk like humans; otherwise people would think us weird.” I said. “Not that I find that there’s a problem about it.

“Ah, thanks for warning me!” Water said, trying to stand up.

“Well, if there’s going to be another pony going through that portal, I hope he or she gets the way things work around here as fast as you and I are.” I said.

“Hey the next ponies that are going through that portal are US!” Water said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean, we’re going home!” Water said.

“Home? But we just got here!” I complained.

“This place is strange and we shouldn’t be here. Let’s go through the portal before we cause any trouble.” Water suggested.

“No, there’s something I need to get. I need to find a spider bot! If we find a spider bot, we’ll find that black box!” I said.

“Wait, a robot took your black box?” Water asked.

“YES! I wouldn’ve came here unless it was important like that!” I said.

“Actually, you would, Flare.” Water corrected me. “You kept saying how much you wanted to be a human, now here we are! Wish granted!”

“Wow! Took me a while to figure it out, but yeah! I’m living the Equestrian dream, sista! I’m a human now! Wow, if only Lyra were here!” I said excitedly.

“Yeah, I’m here.” A human that looked a lot like Lyra said behind me.

”Lyra! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Uhh, I go to school here. Good to see you, Flare! How did you know who I am?” Lyra asked.

“Oh, long story! I bet it feels good being a human, huh sista?” I asked.

”Yeah as if! What I’ve always wanted to be was a pony! Not just any pony though! A magical unicorn! I mean, ask my friend Bon Bon!” Lyra said, pointing to Bon Bon who was right beside her.

“It’s true. You should see the way Lyra sits in the park. She sits with her body on the bench, and her hands in front of her.” Bonnie said.

“Hey, it’s the American dream, Bonnie! Being a pony would be the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” Lyra said.

“America, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah, where did you transfer from?” Lyra asked.

“I’m from Mareami!” I said.

“Miami?” Bonnie asked.

“If you want to call it yours, then sure.” I shrugged.

“Ah the place where the sun shines, and the rain falls, and a place where it’s easy to get attacked by an alligator!” Lyra said.

“So what’s your name?” Bonnie asked.

“I’m Flare Gun!” I said.

“And I’m Jennifer!” Water said.

”Jennifer?” I asked.

“Don’t these humans have these weird names?” Water asked.

“But her name is Lyra Heartstrings and she’s still Bon Bon. So there’s still a little bit of pony in us.” I said.

“Oh…. in that case, I’m Water Gun!” Water said.

“You two brother and sister?” Bonnie asked.

”No we’re husband and wife!” Water said as she placed her arm around me, and moving her eyebrows up and down.

I pushed her away and blushed, “Shut up, Water! That’s freaky!” Water then giggled.

“Well, nice to meet you both! We have to get to class so we’ll catch you two later!” Lyra said, as she and Bonnie walked inside the school.

“Wow ain’t we lucky, Flare?” Water asked. “We’re already doing a better job than our first high school! We made two friends already!”

“You know, this is also my chance to enjoy high school! I mean back at home I didn’t, mostly because of Swinebutt and Herb Leafhorn, but now that I’m here…. I can get that high school happiness I never experienced before!” I said.

“That’s the spirit, Flare! Let’s go in!” Water suggested holding up three fingers.

“Hey, whoa! Didn’t you just say before you wanted us to go home?” I asked.

“Eh, that was a long time ago.” Water said.

“In a galaxy far far away?” I asked.

”Exactly!” Water said.

“Alrighty then! Let’s go in and enjoy school!” I said happily. We both walked inside the school, and I gotta say it was impressive! But what confused me is everyone’s skin was a different color. It’s not just white, or beige, or brown, or tan. I mean, I’m red still. Which is pretty cool though! I found my reflection on the window of the trophy case, and my hair was still the same, so were my eyes. I was wearing a red t-shirt with a computer mouse on it, and instead of a blue vest, I had a blue hoodie on. “Awww! I wanted a shirt with a mushroom on it saying, ‘I’m fun guy!’” I complained.

“Well, how is everyone supposed to know you like video games?” Water asked.

“What about Mario?” I reminded her.

“I don’t play video games, bro.” Water reminded me. “I have no idea what that is.”

“You don’t have to play video games to know who Mario is.” I corrected her.

“Is the giant monkey, right?” Water asked.

“Close… same series.” I said.

So we walked through the halls to see if we can find anything suspicious. Wow, everyone is here! I never expected to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders here. What do they do in this world though? Cutie marks are out of the question here, but it looks like they do something. Scootaloo nearly ran me over with her scooter. I didn’t know you’re supposed to have scooters on school grounds. I saw Big Mac hitting on the Liberian, which seems to be Cheerilee. I suppose now would be a good time to give Big Mac the old McDonalds joke because he might now get it. Modern technology seems to be popular here, not like in Ponyville when they stick to the Renaissance age. “Hey, sis? I have to use the lavatory.”

”Go ahead!” Water said.

I really had to go pretty bad! I ran towards the restrooms and I saw two doors. Aw Luna, you kidding me? I didn’t know which door to take! The signs! I don’t speak human! One looked like there was a triangle on the sign, but I seriously didn’t know which room to go in. So I went into triangle one, but then I heard a screaming in there. So I left quickly and went in the other door. “Sorry, ladies!” I said. I went inside the restroom and I saw…. what were those things on the wall? They looked like toilets, but they weren’t toilets. Were they sinks? Nah, the sinks are right here. I didn’t know what those things on the wall were, so I went inside the stalls. Aw c’mon, the toilets look different! Back in Equestria, the toilets were in the middle of the stall, so we were able to have room for our legs, and the stalls look smaller too. There is so much of this world that I have yet to know, but it’s no use singing about it. I already sang something in the opening, and I’m not going to sing every 5 minutes like what Twilight and her friends do. I finished with the bathrooms and I went to wash my hands. Are you kidding me? These sinks have these facets that you just push down, and the sink is only on for a few seconds. What, you want me to wash one hand at a time? If you’re afraid of kids leaving the sinks running, then use those censor sinks, that makes the sinks turn on automatically, and then once you remove your hands, the sink turns off. Oh, at least this place has blow dryers, but not those automatic ones, it has a button! This blow dryer wasn’t very effective though. Took me 4 tries to get my hands clean. I should’ve just wiped my hands on my jacket.

I left the bathroom, and met back with Water. “Hey, how was the restrooms?” Water asked.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know.” I said.

“So now what?” Water asked.

“Well since we’re here, we might as well pick a class to go to.” I said.

”Without even signing up?” Water asked.

“I don’t think signing up is necessary. We just blend in, like a smoothie!” I said.

A cutaway shows someone making a smoothie out of bananas, strawberries, and oranges; and the guy places the smoothie on the table. “HEY, banana? Remember your restraining order?” the strawberry asked.

“What do you mean?” banana asked.

“Keep 30 feet away from me at all times!” strawberry demanded.

“Well excuuuuuse me! I have no choice, I’m a liquid now!” banana said.

“Hey, hey strawberry?” orange asked.

“Oh no, not this guy!” strawberry complained.

“Nyeh nyeh nyeh, nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh!” orange flipped his tongue many times, annoying the other fruit. The gag ends there. Wow, even in this universe I can still do cutaway gags! Leet!

“So Flare, are we going to do first? How are we going to find your box?” Water asked.

“Water! I’m surprised you’d even ask something like that!” I said shockingly.

“I was just asking how are we going to find your box.” Water said.

“We do what all brave students of high school do when something is stolen from them! We go to the principle’s office.” I said. So Water and I went over to the principle’s office to see if he or she could help us. It was a she. I did my famous Sheldon Cooper knock on the door; knock, knock, knock; “Principle?” Knock, knock, knock; “Principle?” Knock, knock, knock; “Principle?”

“Come in.” the principle said. So Water and I entered the principle’s office and there she was. “Ah, a couple of new students, I assume? Welcome to Canterlot High. My name is Principle Celestia.”

“Umm…” I thought.

“Hello, Principle Celestia!” Water said.

“Yeah, where’s Luna?” I asked.

“Really, Flare? You just meet Princess Celestia’s human counterpart and then you just go on and ask where Luna is?” Water asked.

“Somebody call for me?” Luna asked as she walked into the room.

“It would appear you have some guests, Vice-Principle Luna.” Celestia said.

“Hmm. Who might you be?” Luna asked us.

“I knew I’d see the day when Celestia would dictate Luna.” I said. “C’mon Water, I don’t think they could help us.”

“What do you need help with? We’d be happy to assist.” Luna said.

“Please excuse my brother. He’s lost a valuable box that’s very important to him, and we think somebody in the school stole it.” Water said.

“Mmm hmm. Well, our lost and found is right there in the corner if you need to find anything.” Celestia offered. So Water and I looked in the lost and found to see if we could find my box. We didn’t find the box but we did find a lot of jackets, a cellphone, a USB storage device, a couple of lunch buckets, and… what’s this vibrating thing? Oh wait, that’s the cellphone again. Why is it on? After a while of searching, we gave up and left the principle’s office.

“Well that was all work for no reward.” I said.

“Oh on the contrary, I did find this cool rubber bracelet that says ‘get your green on’. I dunno, Flare. Do you think green suits me?” Water asked.

“That was certainly strange though. I keep seeing familiar faces around this school. I wonder why? Who shall be next that we’ll see?” I asked.

“Hey, you want a snowcone?” someone asked me.

“Oh, ok! It depends what flavor it-“ before I could continue talking, I take a look at the person giving me a snowcone, and she looks just like my friend Crystal Iceblast from Ponyville! Her mane was kind of longer than pony Crystal’s, she was wearing a white undershirt with her cutie mark on it, and she wore blue jeans.

“What was that?” Crystal asked.

“Oh I was gonna ask what flavors you have.” I said.

“Strawberry, banana, and orange.” Crystal said. Wow, what a coincidence! I just did a cutaway gag that had a strawberry, banana, and orange in it!

“I’ll take the strawberry!” I said, taking the snowcone.

“Hey, that’s cool!” Crystal teased.

“HA! I get it! COOL!” I said, nodding.

“How about you? You want anything?” Crystal asked Water.

“Oh, nothing for me, thanks!” Water said.

“Suit yourself! You must be new here!” Crystal said, smiling at me.

“What was your first clue?” I asked sarcastically.

“I can tell because you don’t know our dress code. You can’t wear holey socks.” Crystal said.

“I’m…. how do you know I’m wearing holey socks?” I asked.

“You just took off your shoe.” Crystal said, pointing down at my foot. Yes, my shoe was off.

“Bro, why did you take off your shoe?” Water asked.

“My foot was itchy!” I complained.

“Aw c’mon, you wore shoes when you were a pony.” Water said.

“Yes, but I wasn’t wearing holey socks.” I said.

“Oh snap!” Crystal said.

“Heeeeeey! She said ‘oh snap’! Just like OUR Crystal!” I said excitedly.

Crystal starts to laugh. “You guys are crazy!”

”Of course we’re crazy! What made you think we were sane?” I asked.

“I like you two! My name is Crystal Iceblast! You should come and eat with me at lunch today!” Crystal offered.

“Why that sounds lovely!” I said.

“Alright, 12:30, table 9, see you there!” Crystal said.

“Alright, see ya soon, Crystal!” I said as I waved at her and she walked away, and she gave someone a hug. That particular someone looked a lot like my skateboarding friend, Black Thunder. It’s kinda weird he has that name, since he’s white. Just then, the bell started ringing.

“Aw man! What now? We don’t have any classes!” Water said.

“Of course I brought glasses with me!” I said as I put on my sunglasses. “I wasn’t going to put them on until I say a pun, and then go YEEEEEEAAAAAH!” My YEEAAAH echoed across the halls.

“Alright bro, just find a class.” Water said.

“But which one? Uhh, I guess I’ll pick astrology I guess.” I said.

“Astrology? I was going to go do geometry!” Water whined.

“Alright fine, I guess we’ll have to separate for now. Meet me back here as soon as class is over.” I instructed her.

“Got it!” Water nodded and she ran off. I ran to the opposite direction, but I did not know where astrology was. I just ran, and ran, but as I was running I bumped into someone, and we both fell on the floor.

“OW!” I yelled in pain, rubbing my head. “I’ll sue you!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry about that.” A familiar voice said.

“Ok that’s alright, I-“ I stopped talking because that particular person I bumped into was Crèmepop! She was wearing a yellow undershirt with blue butterflies on it, some purple short-shorts, and she had sandals on instead of shoes.

“Are you ok?” Crème asked. “And before you answer that, please ignore the band-aids on my shins; I just started shaving my legs today.”

“I-I-I….” I stuttered. “Nice to run into you!” I laughed.

Crème giggled. “I need to go to class. Sorry about hitting you.” Crème said, picking up her stuff.

”Oh don’t worry! I’m fine!” I said as I helped her out. When I was helping her pick up her last book, her hand went on it first, but then my hand went on top of hers. We both blushed after that. I gotta say this was a nice little bonding moment the two of us just had. My hand on top of hers, her hand on top of a book, the book on the branch, and the branch on the tree, and the tree on the root, and the root in the hole, and the hole in the ground, and green grass grows all around all around, and the green grass grows all around. Just then, after that bonding moment we had, I just grabbed the book and stood back up quickly. “HA! Mine now!”

“Hey! That’s my book! I need it!” Crème complained.

“If you want it, you have to get it!” I teased her as I held her book waaaaaay over our heads. I was taller than her so she couldn’t reach it.

“Oh c’mon, that’s not fair! You’re taller!” Crème complained as she tried to reach for the book.

“You want it? You have to reach it, sista!” I said.

“AY-YA!” Crème yelled as she punched me in the stomach which made me drop the book and hold my stomach. “You jerk!” she yelled at me.

“Yeah, well, this world is strange to me. I dunno how humans are supposed to comprehend around here.” I said as I held my stomach in pain. The both of us then smiled and we both started laughing. I could tell the two of us are off to a great start.

“You’re funny. I like you, dude!” Crème said.

“I like you too, sista!” I said. “Hey, umm… you… you should be getting to class right?” I asked nervously.

“I should.” She nodded. “That was a fun little moment we had. I’ll be seeing you around, buddy!”

“Hey you have an awesome day!” I said.

“You too! I’ll see you around!” Crème said as she ran off. Ok, just to let you know, Crèmepop is NOT the Flash Sentry in here! She’s actually gonna do useful stuff in this story! Besides, she was in Book 2. Anyways, wow, human Crèmepop! I never thought I’d see the day! She was even hotter than the pony Crèmepop! D’OH! What am I saying? Crèmepop is my special somepony! This Crèmepop, I… I don’t know what to say about her. Aw jeez…. I didn’t ask her which way to astrology. Oh, well lucky me! Astrology class seemed to be right in front of me. I was about to head inside, but someone on the other side hit me with the door.

“OW! Dang it, Psyche!” I complained. “Always have to get in my way!”

“Whoa, you a jumpy one, aren’t you?” human Psyche asked. This Psyche was wearing a purple hoody with three stars on it, and like the rest of the main characters so far that appeared in this story, he was wearing blue jeans. He was also wearing purple sneakers. “Wait, how did you know my name?” he asked.

“You, uhhh… you look like a Psyche that’s all.” I fibbed.

“Uh huh. Sorry about hitting you with the door.” Psyche said.

“Oh it’s cool, brah!” I said as I got back up.

“I need to head to the library to do a little research.” Psyche said.

“The Lie-Bury? The bury that lies?” I asked.

“You got it!” Psyche said.

“Oh cool! Can I come? I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do right now, and after you hit me with the door, I’d rather not take astrology.” I said.

“Hey, no problem! C’mon, let’s head over to the library.” Psyche said as he lead me over to the library. “Hey, would you like a jelly-baby?” he asked.

On the way to the library, we passed a work shop class. Now there was something strange about one of those humans inside that class. Well of course, it’s Engineer! Red Engineer from Ponyville! There’s not much to say about him other than he looked even more like the engineer from TF2 more than the pony Engie did. Only difference is that this Engie was orange like the Engie from Equestria, and since he was a teenager, he didn’t have a shadow-beard.

“Hey, Psyche?” I asked.

“Yeah, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“I never told you my name.” I corrected him.

“Yeah you did, on the way over here. You forgot?” Psyche asked.

”You must’ve hit me on the head harder than I thought.” I said. “Either that or it was Crèmepop.” Psyche looks over at what I’m looking at and he makes a glare.

“Why are you checking out Engineer’s work?” he asked.

“Well, he’s a good builder isn’t he?” I asked.

“Pfff! As if! He’s such a show-off you know?” Psyche asked.

“Tell me about it! He just sits there and lets machines do all the dirty work where every other class gets their hands during out in the front lines. I mean really!” I said.

“Oh… umm… yeah, alright.” Psyche said. “Yeah that too.”

“What else there could be?” I asked.

“I really hate that guy.” Psyche said.

“Wait, you’re not friends with Engie?” I asked.

“Why would I? He thinks he’s smarter than me and yet I’m more of an honor student than him. He may know his way around technology, but I know science!” Psyche said.

“But… how could this happen?” I asked.

“Look it doesn’t matter. Are you coming or what?” Psyche asked. So I followed him over to the lie-bar-ree. I wanted to go take a seat, but I saw a familiar looking pink fella with glasses on and a labcoat sitting on one of the computers.

“Excellent! Excellent! I Dr. Porker Swinebutt has found a way to power up my machine! I just need a good power source! It’d be nice having treasure like that!” the pink dude said.

“Wow, human Dr. Swinebutt!” I said to myself. “Wow, he really needs to cut down on the food. He looks uglier then the Swinebutt in my world!” Just then, I saw a spider bot near his legs. That particular spider bot looked exactly like the spider bot that took my treasure. Of course! How could I not see it before? Well, actually, I kinda did, but regardless. It was Swinebutt this whole time! I started walking over to him with a big glare on my face, and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind! Before I could have a chat with him, I tripped over a water bottle, and fell on the floor. “OW!” I cried. “Whoever left this water bottle here is getting sued!” I yelled.

“Shhh!” Cheerilee shushed me.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was lookin’ for that.” A guy that looked a lot like my friend Aquatic Armor said. Wow, even human Aqua wears armor! All I could say about Aqua right now is that he looks like a human version of pony Aqua. Nothing was really different about him, not even clothing.

“Oh, well what do you need it for?” I asked.

“I need this bottle for an experiment I’m workin on. Thanks for findin’ it.” Aqua said.

“Oh no problemo, brah! The name’s Flare!” I said.

“How ya doing, mate? I’m Aquatic Armor, but my friends call me Aqua.” Aqua said, holding out his hand. I put my hand into a fist, and I brofisted him. “I was actually hoping for a handshake, but whatever.”

“So what is this project you’re working on, brah?” I asked.

“This project I’m workin’ on is a way for me to turn filthy water, into fresh spring water.” Aqua said.

”Wow, fancy!” I nodded. “Can you turn it into summer water, or winter water?”

“Yep, and if I continue my research, I might be able to turn ocean water into fresh water.” Aqua said.

“Wow, look at human Aqua! He’s a scientist! Pony Aqua knows nothing about technology!” I said.

“Uhhh…. Ok?” Aqua said confusingly.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’m a random one!” I said chuckling.

“Yeah, just like Pinkie Pie.” Aqua nodded. “Anyways, I gotta get this done for Chemistry. Gonna go enter it in the science fair.”

“Ah, yes, I remember chemistry! It was pretty cool, very challenging though! I dissected frogs, and I didn’t feel disgusted at all.” I said.

“Uhhh…. that’s biology.” Aqua corrected me.

“Ehh, all science is confusing to me, I failed all of them.” I said.

“Ok then, well, I’ll be at class if ya need me at all. Maybe ya can meet me at lunch later. 12:30, table 9.” Aqua offered as he walked out of the library. I turned over to see if Swinebutt was still there, but he was already gone. “Dang it!”

“Having fun hanging with losers, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“What? Are you not friends with anybody?” I asked.

”That’s not true, I have friends. I have a senpai!” Psyche said.

“I don’t even know what that is. Quit your gibberish, brah!” I said. Just then I heard the bell ring.

“Well, I guess it’s time for next class.” Psyche said. “Hey, if you wanna meet at lunch, meet me there at 12:30, table 9, got it?”

“I think that’s going to be tough to remember, but I’ll give it a try.” I nodded. “I’ll see you later, brah!” I ran out of the library so I could meet up with Water back at the lobby, but once I got there, she wasn’t there. I just stood there for a little while, but Engie walked on by and he slipped something in my pocket. I pulled out my pocket and saw a little note that says; ‘Meet me at lunch at 12:30, table 9.’ It seemed like a familiar message though. Do I have to meet someone else there? Eh, I don’t really remember. Just then, the bell rung around the time, my sister was nowhere to be found, so I decided to just go. Since gym was a piece of cake for me, I decided to go to the gym.

Once I got to the gym, I immediately noticed the gym coach was Spitfire. She blew her whistle, and she yelled; “C’mon! Move it! Move it! C’mon, sissies! Is that the best you can do?! YOU’RE A LADY SKYBLAZE! A COWARD! WELL DONE, THUNDERLANE! GOOD WORK, BULK BICEPS!”

“YEEEEEAAAAH!” Bulk Biceps yelled.

“C’mon, Goldheart! Stop being a sissy!” Once I heard Spitfire say ‘Goldheart’, I immediately knew Blaze was here! That was him running around the court- no, that was Soarin. OH! That’s him on the rope, right there!

“Wow, Blaze as an ape!” I said excitedly. “Is he a freak of nature too just like his pony version?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE?!” Spitfire yelled at me. “GET TO A STATION AND WORK IT OUT! GO! MOVE MOVE MOVE!” I ran over to the rope, and I tried to climb it.

“Nice work out, eh brah?” I said to Blaze.

“Uh huh!” Blaze said, continuing to climb the rope.

“You know, back at my old gym, I used to just pull the rope, and say ‘ding dong’, like I’m ringing a doorbell, man!” I said.

“I see.” Blaze said.

“B-T-W, the name’s Flare!” I said.

“Goldheart, Blaze Goldheart!” Blaze said.

“Hey, Blaze, you wanna see something cool?” I asked.

”Not now.” Blaze said. Just then I start swinging on the rope I’m in, and start making a Tarzan yell. As I was swinging, I accidentally knock into Blaze, and we both fall off the rope and land on the mat on the ground.

“Hmm… F.” Spitfire said as she looked at her clipboard. “Next up on the rope is Woodenshy.”

“AAAAAH!” Woodenshy cried as he was trying to climb the rope, but it turned out that he didn’t even get off the ground yet. He was really struggling to get up there, but he just fell back in exhaustion and tried to catch his breath.

“Hmm…” Spitfire thought his grade over. “D… next.”

“D?! We were higher than him!” Blaze complained.

“Yeah but Woodenshy tried harder. I like that!” Spitfire said.

“Ugh!” Blaze groaned.

“Just like pony Blaze, he groans a lot.” I said.

“You sissies! GIMMIE 40 LAPS!” Spitfire yelled at Blaze and I as she blew her whistle. So Blaze started running around the track; I got up and followed.

“Hey brah, it’s great breaking a sweat you know? It’s easy to break, because my sweat is made of glass? LAWL get it?” I teased.

“That’s cool, but I’m really not in the mood right now for jokes.” Blaze said as he continued running.

“That’s cool!” I said. Blaze took a look at the way I was running and he gave me a weird look. My running looked pretty girly. I was swinging my arms around and kicking my legs behind me as I was running. “What?” I asked.

“Is that seriously how you run?” Blaze asked.

“I dunno. This is my first time running.” I said.

“Ah.” Blaze nodded.

“So what do you do at this school?” I asked.

“Well, I’m quarterback for the Canterlot Wondercolts, and I’m one of the fastest students on these grounds, along with my girlfriend, Rainbow Dash.” Blaze said.

“Oh that’s awesome! Which one is Rainbow Dash? The one with the flaming hair?” I asked. I actually know who Rainbow Dash is; I was just playing stupid, since I’m the new kid.

”No that’s Coach Spitfire.” Blaze said.

“How about the one in the cowgirl hat?” I asked.

”That’s AppleJack.” Blaze said.

“How about the one with the blue hair?” I asked.

”That’s Soarin, and he’s a guy.” Blaze said.

”Aww, why wouldn’t you want to date him?” I asked.

“Because I- just hush up.” Blaze said, feeling annoyed.

“He’s not your type, huh?” I asked.

“No, I- WHOA!” Blaze then trips over and falls on the ground.

“What kind of exercise is that?” I asked.

“It’s not.” Blaze said as he moaned in pain.

“Wow, listen to you moaning in pain. You sound like Clancy Brown.” I said as I helped him up.

“I’m fine, but quit talking to me while I’m working out, ok? You’re distracting me.” Blaze asked.

“Sorry, brah.” I said.

“It’s ok, I’m on break now anyway.” Blaze said. “Would you like to sit with me?”

“Sure! Hey did you know Clancy Brown voices both Mr. Krabs AND Savage Opress from the Clone Wars series? My mind blown when I found that out!” I said as I followed him to the bleachers to take a break, even though I only started working out at this gym three minutes ago.

“So you new here?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah, why?” I asked.

“Why don’t you have gym clothes on? You shouldn’t run around in that jacket!” Blaze suggested.

“Why? I like it!” I said.

“Well, the last kid that was here wearing a jacket, he passed out. I don’t want you ending up the same.” Blaze suggested.

“I’m fine, but thanks for your concern, Blaze!” I said. “I mean my jacket is no vest, but it’ll do. I’m still waiting for human me to show up. Does this universe have a me?”

“What?” Blaze asked.

“Nothing, brah.” I said.

“Ok. Anyways, that right there is Rainbow Dash.” Blaze said, pointing to her.

“Ah, that’s the little one she’s with, right?” I asked.

“No that’s her sister Candy Cotton. That’s Rainbow Dash!” Blaze corrected me.

“You mean the one just standing there, not doing anything?” I asked.

”Hey, she’s helping her sister out!” Blaze informed me.

“Uh huh, right.” I nodded.

“Maybe you should meet her. HEY RAINBOW, COME OVER HERE!” Blaze called out. Rainbow started running towards us. Wow, she’s pretty fast! She runs manlier than I do.

“What’s up, Blaze?” Rainbow asked.

“Not much, I just want you to meet my new friend, Flare!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, I’m his new friend Flare!” I mimicked him.

“Nice to meetch’ya! I’m Rainbow Dash! I’m super fast, super athletic, and super awesome!” Rainbow said.

“And super girly.” Candy teased.

“Oh shush, sis.” Rainbow instructed her. “I only tried on that dress ONCE.”

”That’s my girl!” Blaze said.

“Wow! How about flying though? You a good flyer?” I asked.

“Uhh, if I had wings, I’d totally be an expert in flying in the first day!” Rainbow said.

“So I could tell.” I nodded.

“Well, I better get back to helping Candy! Love ya, Blaze!” Rainbow said, giving him a hug and running back to Candy.

“Love you too, Dashie!” Blaze said. “Hey, Flare? Why don’t you meet me at lunch later?”

“Alright! I’ll be seating at table 9 at 12:30!” I said. “Why? I dunno, it was just… something random in my head that I wanted me to say that.”

”Oh, I usually go at 1, but ok!” Blaze said.

“Great! I’ll see you then!” I said. I must say, my first day at this school, I’m pretty……. confused. I really don’t think my time here is making much sense to me, but at least I’m going to classes. I’m taking the high school setting seriously. I have the feeling Twlight won’t if she ever had a reason to come here. If she does though, I hope she doesn’t have to use the bathroom.

Author's Note

This chapter is mainly for the humor after Flare and Water arrive at CHS. Not much happens in here except that we get to meet some of the main characters in this book, which are actually alternate versions of the Noble Six, Cremepop, and Swinebutt.

Originally, Shining Armor was the couch for CHS, but since human Twilight isn't at this school, why bother adding Shining Armor? So I had Spitfire take over for that position afterwards.

Human Error

Lunch time finally came! It was a couple of minutes till 12:30 so I decided to buy some lunch. How did I get the money? I spent most of the time before lunch finding pennies on the ground. Plus this guy dropped his wallet. Of course I gave his wallet back to him! I just… you know… took a few dollars out to cover expenses. NO it is not stealing! It’s… umm… recovery tax, yeah!

“So what do we have for lunch today, miss lunch lady?” I asked.

“We have your choice of hamburgers or porkchops today. Both made with pure processed meat love!” Granny Smith said.

“Wait, Granny Smith is the lunch lady?” I asked.

“Oh so you heard of me?” Granny Smith asked.

“No… no I can only take so much of this. This just crosses the line.” I said.

And so, it was 12:30, and I was at table 9 waiting for the Noble Six to show up. No wait, this is table 8, sorry. Alright now I’m in table 9! I just sat there, waiting for my ‘new’ friends to show up. The first to show up was Engie.

“Hey, you Engie right?” I asked.

”Eeyup! Heard of me?” Engie asked.

”Heard nothing but good things about you, brah! I’m Flare!” I said.

“Nice to meet ya!” Engie said wanting a brofist, but I just shook his fist, like I was shaking a hand, but I got it mixed up again. “Uhh, ah was actually expectin’ a brofist, but ok. Hey, have we met before?”

“I have no idea.” I said.

“I mean you seem familiar to me.” Engie said.

“Met anyone by the name of Flare? Owns a pizza shop? Come to think of it, I don’t think this Flare owns a pizza shop, but he probably has fish.” I said.

“Ah don’t know, partner. Ah just have that strange feelin’.” Engie said.

“So anyways, what do you usually do, brah?” I asked.

“Build machines, ah’m really tryin to get somethin’ done so ah can win first prize at the science fair!” Engie said.

“Well… I don’t wish to argue, but… I think I’m going to win first prize.” Aqua said. “And what you doin here in this table?”

“Ah asked to meet with mah new friend Flare here, AQUATIC ARMOR!” Engie said to him with an attitude.

“Hey, whoa whoa! What’s with the arguments?” I asked.

“Ah’m not talkin to this guy! He’s a big jerk!” Engie yelled.

“Ok whatever ya say, mate.” Aqua said.

“WHO YOU CALLIN A TECHNO GEEK, BOY?!” Engie yelled at him.

“I… didn’t call ya anything.” Aqua corrected him.

“Of course you didn’t! Why are you so laid back all the time?” Engie asked.

“Good to see ya, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Good to be seen!” I teased.

“Heh.” Aqua chuckled.

“Anyways, we are gonna have a peaceful lunch?” I asked.

“As if! I’m not having a peaceful lunch with that guy around!” Crystal said, pointing to Blaze.

“I’m not having lunch with you either, snowball!” Blaze insulted her.

“Well I could care less about ol Flare here, but all of you should move to a new table!” Psyche suggested.

“You move to a new table, wannabe psychic!” Crystal yelled.

“You’re just jealous because Pinkie likes me and not you!” Psyche yelled.

“I’m really sorry to raid on ya parade, mate, but… doesn’t Pinkie like everybody?” Aqua said.

“Shut up, Aqua!” Psyche instructed him.

“You shut up, Psyche!” Blaze yelled.

“Wow, this is just like watching My Little Human! Either that or a senate hearing.” I said.

“Flare’s right, we need to stop arguin’. We have to remember, we could’ve had the wrong information.” Engie said.

“What kind of wrong information?” Psyche asked.

“Were we actually led to believe we all did eachother wrong?” Engie asked.

“Of course we did! It’s obvious! All of the proof is right there on our phones and emails! Nobody could’ve sabotaged our friendship because we have Anti-Virus softwares! We would NEVER be hacked.” Blaze said.

“That’s why we have Avast. Not only does it actually protect our systems, but it blocks infected websites.” Crystal said.

“Oh shut up, Crystal! You have NO idea what that means!” Blaze yelled at her.

“Says the guy who got an F in gym. How can you have an F in gym? My boyfriend Thunder is an IDIOT and he has an A in gym!” Crystal said.

“THAT’S IT!” Blaze yelled as she was about to strangle her, but I held him back.

“Will you all stop arguing?!” I yelled. “For Wizard of Hope’s sake, do we have to have this problem? How about we skip to the part where we make-up, be friends, form the Noble Six, and I stuff a garlic roll in my sister’s mouth as soon as I can find her.” I suggested.

“NO WAY, HOSE!” Crystal yelled.

“Yeah, ya cool Flare, but these people need to show a little respect.” Aqua said.

”That makes all of us! How about you quit using your dishes as clothes, it’s pathetic!” Psyche said to him.

“I’m outta here!” Blaze said. Just then, all five of them walked their separate ways, making me alone at the table.

“Wait, brahs? Can’t we talk about this?” I asked them, but they all already left. Looks like another friendship problem. If Twilight were here, she’d help out! Where’s human Twilight? I mean, I saw human Rainbow Dash, human AppleJack, human Rarity, human Mama Fluttershy, human Pinkie, but I didn’t see human Twilight yet or human Spike. I wonder where they are? After my friends all left me for no reason that I know of, I started to get angry. “You apes!” I yelled as I slammed the table. The whole cafeteria got quiet and they all looked at me. “YOU APES! TV was right! My friends were right! Humans are nothing but jerks! I’m trying to have a peaceful lunch and all my friends decided to split up, and I have no idea what the reason is! On top of that: where’s human Flare, human Water, or for that matter HUMAN KEITH?!”

“Keith as in Adventure Blade, right?” one of Addie’s friends goes by the name of Sapphire Bracelet said to me. I know her from pony Addie back in Equestria. I never introduced her yet though.

“Oh cool, this universe has an Addie! Where is he?” I asked.

“Out of town. He’ll be back next week. He’s off to a family reunion with a couple of other students from this school. I forgot their names though, or what they look like. I don’t even know if they’re students from this school.” Sapphire said.

“Oh.” I said.

“Yeah.” Sapphire said.

“Ok.” I said. Wow, I do that same thing to him. Anyways, I let out all my anger, and that episode was over. I looked over, and I saw Crèmepop eating alone on another table. I moved my lunch and sat down across from her. “Hey, Crème!”

“How do you know my name?” Crème asked.

“Uhh… you look like a Crème that’s all.” I fibbed.

“Oh… leet!” Crème said. “What’s your name?”

“Flare!” I said.

“Hey, Flare!” Crème said.

“What’s going on, sista?” I asked.

“Nothing much. I heard your friends over there had themselves a little fight.” Crème said.

“Please, don’t get me started with them! I actually need their help if I am to find what I’m looking for!” I said. “Not to mention these apes know nothing about friendship!”

“What are you looking for?” Crème asked.

“There’s this small black box that a robot spider stole from me.” I said.

”What’s in the box?” Crème asked.

“That’s classified, but I need to get it back. It’s very special to me, Crèmey.” I said.

“Hey, I don’t blame you! I had something stolen from a few weeks ago. This bully Sunset Shimmer, she stole my necklace.” Crème said.

”Sunset Shimmer, huh?” I asked.

“Yep.” Crème nodded sadly. Just then, someone very familiar looked tripped over my chair, and nearly fell.

“HEY! Watch where you’re going!” the guy yelled.

“Sorry, brah!” I said. But come to think of it, when I got a good look of this dude, he looked a lot like my business rival, Boorlie Pomodoro. He had that brown trenchcoat, glasses, an awesome mustache that pony Boorlie had. The only difference is that this guy wears pants and shoes. I don’t know what his problem is though. He seemed to gasp after he saw me. “There a problem?” I asked.

“No…. not at all, but I’m watching you, buddy!” Boorlie said to be suspiciously as he walked away.

“What’s his problem?” Crème asked.

“I dunno, but he seemed to be in a hurry to go.” I said.

“Well, do you have any idea who stole your box?” Crème asked.

“I’m assuming its Swinebutt.” I said.

“Swinebutt? That little filth? What would he want with it?” Crème asked.

“I’m not sure, but I know he’s pretty suspicious. I’ll have to keep an eye on that dude; because I have the feeling he’s the one that stole my box!” I said.

“Well, if you want me to help out, I’ll be available to help you!” Crème said, smiling at me. I smiled back.

“Thanks, Crème! You’re a great friend!” I said.

“You too, Flare! You too!” Crème said. “I somehow have the feeling I trust you.”

“You do?” I asked.

“Yeah! I’m not sure what it is though, but… ehh… nevermind.” Crème said.

“Ok, if you say so.” I went with it, so the two of us started eating our lunches together, and I gotta say, it’s nice falling in love with Crème once again. That’s the fun of love, isn’t it? But still… I have to find a way to get my friends to stop arguing somehow. If I’m to find that black box, I’ll need their help. You pretty much need friendship to do… well… anything when you’re in Equestria, or in this case, Canterlot High. “AAAAH!” I cried.

“What’s wrong?” Crème asked.

“Don’t cut your food with that knife when it’s so close to that fork it really cringes me!” I complained.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but… wait, I thought only silverware can cringe people? This is plasticware.” Crème informed me.

“Still hurts me.” I said. “It’s like… it’s like clawing a chalkboard, or… umm… rubbing a balloon, or when a guy plays one of those moving floor spike maps on Happy Wheels and they’re playing as the bicycle character.”

So we finished our lunches and Crème went back to class. Me, I wanted to find out what was the problem between my friends. I’m almost certain that it was Swinebutt that stole my box, but when he saw me he didn’t seem to have a problem by seeing me; as for Boorlie, he seemed pretty frightened to see me, and also, the pony Sunset Shimmer was in my shop this morning, and she was pretty nervous when I told her the universal mirror was moved to the Crystal Empire, but the problem is, I haven’t seen her all day. Was she not here? I heard the other students talking and they were pretty excited that she wasn’t here. I dunno, I have three suspects who might’ve stolen the box, but my prime suspect is Swinebutt. He knows this box is very important to me, and he knows I need it very bad! Swinebutt has been a problem for me since middle school. I don’t know who Sunset Shimmer is really but everyone seems to be pretty excited that she’s not there, and Boorlie doesn’t really have a grudge on me, more of my secret recipe for pizzas is what he needs, so it had to be Swinebutt.

Meanwhile back in Equestria, my friends were getting packed so they can head back to Ponyville. Before they were about to leave, they wanted to say goodbye to the princesses. “Well, princesses, thanks for having us for the night.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, it was very fun, and very relaxing!” Blaze said.

“I’m glad you all had a good time!” Celestia said.

“You’re welcomed to come back and visit anytime you like!” Cadance said.

“Has any of you seen Flare at all today though?” Luna asked.

“Nope, haven’t seen him all day.” Engie said.

“Yeah, none of us have.” Psyche said.

“Oh, I’m so worried!” Crème said. “I’m more nervous than the first time I went on XBUCKS live!”

A cutaway shows Crème playing on the XBUCKS, about to go on online. “Hey, everypony! How’s it going?”

“OH MY CELESTIA! A GIRL!” a player said.

“What is a girl doing online? Girls don’t play video games!” another player said.

“I beg to differ, maybe I’m not a girl, and maybe I’m a little colt. Ever thought of that, idiots?” Crème asked.

“Nah, a little colt would never think of logic like that.” Another player said.

“Hey, girl? Why don’t you go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich?” another player said.

“Ok, now you’re all being rude!” Crème said.

“Hey, everypony leave her alone!” another player said.

“Yes, thank you ‘I eat splinters 2000’.” Crème said.

“Of course you eat splinters! You’re a girl!” another player said. Crème just facehooved herself. I completely agree all these players were very rude to Crèmey. Expect idiots like these when you’re on live. Just ignore them, and prove you’re the bigger person! If you keep talking, then you’re just ‘feeding the trolls’ if you catch my drift. The cutaway ends.

“Yeah ah’m really startin’ to worry about Flare.” Engie said. “Oh by the way, thank you for the denchers, Cadance!”

“It was my pleasure, Engineer!” Cadance said.

“Yeah these denchers are much better than the last ones ah got!” Engie said. A quick cutaway gag shows Engie with a chattering mechanical teeth toy in his mouth.

“Yeah I’m also getting worried about Flare.” Blaze said. “We made him pretty mad yesterday.”

“Does anypony even care about Water? Not one of you as mentioned Water at all!” Crystal complained.

“Well where is he? Our train leaves in 20 minutes.” Aqua said.

“Go on ahead back. We’ll try to find them, and bring them back to Ponyville.” Cadance said. “I promise we’ll scatter guards all over to find him.”

“No way, Cadance! We’re not leaving this city without Flare!” Blaze said.

“Well, you all are welcomed to stay until we can find him.” Cadance nodded.

“Nopony is talking about Water still!” Crystal complained.

“You have any clue of where we can find Flare?” Psyche asked. Crystal clears her throat in Psyche’s face. He sighed and added, “And Water?”

“Well, if any of us have any clue, we’d be sure to let you know.” Celestia said. Luna was thinking to herself, thinking she might have a clue where I might’ve gone, but she didn’t say anything.

It was the end of the school day back at Canterlot High, and everybody was heading back home. I found human Fluttershy over the day and I decided to hang with her because… well… she’s my mom. Well, not really my mom, she’s more of an adoptive mom to me. Once I moved to Ponyville, Fluttershy was actually the only one that didn’t think of me as a problem. This was before I met the Noble Six. She took care of me when I was sick, and she was doing everything a mom would do. I guess it’s a part of my abandonment issues. I figured I was missing something when I left Mareami. So as the final bell rang, I walked with her to the exit.

“So that’s why you’re not friends Rarity, Pinkie, AppleJack, or Rainbow Dash?” I asked her.

“AppleJack was actually never a problem for me, but I stopped hanging with her because… umm… I’m really not sure.” Flutters said.

“Because all humans are jerks?” I asked.

“Ooo, Flare, no need to think that.” Flutters said.

“Think what?” I asked. “It’s true, every human except you and Crèmepop turned out to be complete jerks. Not to me though, obviously because of my good looks and my charming personality, but jerks to eachother. I find that to be a worse feeling than them being jerks to me. Y’know, Mama Flutters?”

“Oh… umm… not that I have a problem with it, but… why do you… umm…” Flutters stuttered.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“N-nevermind.” She said.

“I won’t hold it against you.” I said.

“Hey, Fluttershy? Where’s my homework?” another student of this school shows up, and he was very familiar as well. Someone in my past that I despised.

“But… umm… didn’t we just get the homework today, Fonz?” Fluttershy reminded him.

“What do you wanna be a wise-crack to me?” Fonz asked angrily to her face.

“Like I said… all humans are jerks.” I said as I suddenly kick Fonz Punkskull in the shin. He starts to moan in pain as he falls to the ground and holds his shin.

“Oh… my.” Flutters said shockingly.

“Stay away from my sister!” I ordered him.

“Fluttershy’s your sister?” Fonz asked.

“Huh? Oh… I was defending Fluttershy. I forgot.” I admitted.

“Th-thanks for your help.” Flutters said to me.

“Hey no problem.” I said.

“Hey, umm… I don’t… umm… want to be too straightforward, but… umm…” Flutter stuttered.

“Betcha 5 dollars you’re gonna say nevermind again.” I said.

“No, I mean… I… think you’re very supportive to me, and… umm… I-I feel that… you’re like the… father-figure… I never had.” Flutters said.

“Wow… have the tables turned.” I chuckled. “You can call me Papa Flare if you want.”

“Are you sure?” Flutters asked.

“I’ve been through where you’ve been through. Perhaps it’s best I return the favor.” I said.

“I’m sorry?” she asked curiously.

Anyways, I didn’t want to focus all the attention on the Mane Six because they don’t play a major part in this story. They have their own story they need to do. Anyways, I walked over to the entrance to wait for Water. She had to turn up eventually. Hey, you know what else was weird? The Canterlot High’s mascot is a pony! Wow, pretty ironic isn’t it? I wasn’t able to find Swinebutt all day, so I couldn’t find any clues from him, but I really want to get my friends to unite. Oh, if only Twilight were here. As everyone was almost gone, I finally found Water hanging out who appears to be the human version of Aqua’s sister Wind Racer.

“So then I was like HELLOOOOO?!” Wind Racer said to my sister in a teenage accent.

“HELLOOOOO?! How are you todaaaaaay?” Water asked in the same accent.

“I’m fiiiiiine, how are yooooou?” Wind Racer asked.

“Doing sweeeeeell!” Water said.

“WATER! Where have you been?!” I asked.

“Oh hey Flare!” Water said as she finally talked in her normal voice. “I’m sorry I didn’t meet up with you earlier, but I made a new friend! This is Wind Racer, Aqua’s sister.”

“You know Aqua, huh?” Wind Racer asked.

“Sure do!” I said.

“Well, you have a great night, Water!” Wind Racer said as she walked out of the school.

”You know something, Flare? You’re right! This place is cool!” Water said.

“Mhm.” I said, nodding with agreement.

“Is something bothering you?” Water asked.

“Well, first off, hi.” I started.

“Hi!” Water said excitedly.

“How’s it going, sis?” I asked.

“It’s going great, bro! Met Wind Racer over at geometry. She’s a freshman here so I had to pick on her a bit.” Water said.

“It’s not ok to be a freshman.” I said.

“It’s NEVER ok to be a freshman. Worst months of your life.” Water said.

“Anyways, I can’t find my box anywhere.” I said. “But that’s not all I’m going through; the human version of my friends back home aren’t friends here. I swear, it makes me lose faith in humanity to see that best friends aren’t friends anymore.”

“I already lost faith in humanity LONG ago, bro.” Water said. “It would seem that this place isn’t that different as back home. Music is complete trash, most television is too, and don’t get me started on gas prices!”

“We don’t use gas in Equestria.” I reminded her.

“Well, whatever… the stuff ponies use if they drive carriages for so long they need to refuel with… something.” Water said.

“You mean eating?” I asked.

“I’m really not sure how to explain it.” Water said. “Also the food here, dude! It looks so different! It’s mostly grease and fat, but I gotta say, once I tasted a hamburger it tasted delicious!”

“A hamburger?” I asked. “Are they like treeburgers back at home?”

“Tasted even better though, and I didn’t even have any splinters on my tongue!” Water said.

“I had porkchops for lunch today, and I have to tell you, once I ate them, I felt sweet justice!” I said.

“Why?” Water asked.

“I can’t really explain it, but I felt so alive when I ate them! It’s like I felt that my past would never bother me again. I dunno why though.” I said.

“Well, anyways, it’s getting late. I don’t have a change of clothes with me, nor my makeup.” Water said.

“We don’t even have anywhere to sleep.” I said. “You have any ideas?”

“We can stay here in the school.” Water suggested.

“C’mon! Only an idiot would spend a night in a school!” I said.

“What choice do we have?” Water asked.

“Hey, I’m not broke you know. If Equestria money can work in this world, then maybe we can rent a hotel room.” I suggested.

“Equestria money isn’t going to work here.” Water said.

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure of that?” I asked.

“It’s fairly obvious: THIS ISN’T EQUESTRIA!” Water yelled.

“I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to try!” I said. “Besides, I got a credit card! Credit cards are good anywhere!”

“I guess it’s worth a try.” Water said. “I can’t think of any better ideas.”

“Hey you know what I don’t get, sis? Credit card frauds. How could a credit card be a fraud?” I asked. “Is it like… a business card disguised as a credit card, or… maybe it’s just a fake card? I dunno. I’ll shut up now.”

So eventually, the both of us went over to a Holiday Inn to see if we can check into a room, but the man behind the counter said, “I’m sorry sir, this isn’t real money.”

“HA! I outsmarted you again, Flare Gun!” Water teased.

“Don’t say my full name in public.” I instructed her.

“Well, your credit card is valid though.” The man behind the counter said.

“HA! I outsmarted you, Water Gun!” I teased her.

“So you have the right to say my name in public, but I can’t say yours?” Water asked.

“Your room is Room 437.” The man said, handing me a key, but before I was able to grab the key, Water snatched it out of my hand and gave me a mischievous look.

“I’m in charge of the room key, mister!” Water said.

”Fine, be in charge of the key.” I said with an attitude.

“Uhh, there’s two keycards in here you know.” The man informed us. So the two of us went upstairs and went over to our room.

“Please let there be two beds, please let there be two beds, please let there be to beds!” I begged to myself. Water opened the door that led into our room, and yes there were two beds. “OH THANK GOODNESS!”

“You said it; I wouldn’t want to sleep in the same bed as you, Flare. No offense.” Water said.

“None taken! It would be weird if I was sleeping with my sister in the same bed! It’s bad enough I’m sharing a room with you.” I said.

”Well we can’t always get what we want, can we?” Water teased. So Water and I just watched TV until one of us was tired. I couldn’t really sleep though. All I was thinking about at the time was how was I suppose to get my box back, and how am I going to unite the Noble Six? Something has to be done. I can’t do this alone, I need some help! Besides, one of the other reasons I couldn’t sleep is because I’m used to hearing a fish tank and I have my teddy bear with me. But nope, I left my bear back at the Crystal castle. I wonder if anypony is actually worried that I’m gone?

“Hey Water?” I asked.

”Yeah Flare?” she asked.

“Have you ever had that feeling that…. Wooo hooooo….. that tonight’s gonna be a good night?” I asked.

“Of course I would, why?” Water asked.

“That tonight’s gonna be a good good night?” I asked.

“Where you going at this, bro?” Water asked.

“Nothing, I just like that song, but what I really wanted to ask you was….. well…. You ever had that feeling that the group who were meant to be friends are actually not?” I asked.

“What are you saying?” Water asked.

”I’m saying it looks like my friends that were actually suppose to be friends are fighting, but I somewhat have the feeling that they were friends before and yet something went wrong.” I said.

“Oh, well that’s nothing to worry about right now. You just need to find your box.” Water said.

“But Water, it’s more than the box! Something ain’t right here. I just talked to AppleJack today, and she was complaining about Rainbow Dash. Same with Pinkie and Flutters.” I said.

“Do you think there’s a plot going on in the school?” Water asked.

“And I think Swinebutt’s responsible.” I said.

“Will you stop blaming everything on Swinebutt? You don’t know if it’s his fault! I know Swinebutt has been trying to make you miserable from day one back in Equestria, but do you think human Swinebutt would be any different?” Water asked.

”Actually no, I don’t think him any different.” I said.

”Give him a chance, Flare! You don’t like it when people or ponies judge you before they get to know you right?” Water asked.

A cutaway shows me in pony form, walking in the hallway of my old high school, but then I heard a huge banging like somepony banged something with a hammer. Then I saw a pony I never met before yell, “GULITY!”

“Guilty of what?” I asked.

“I’m the judge here! 10 years in prison!” the pony yelled. Right there I was thrown in some sort of prison.

“But I didn’t do anything!” I complained.

“Quiet you!” the pony guard yelled.

“Psssst! Hey, you?” my cellmate whispered.

”That’s my spot.” I said as I pointed to the seat the pony is sitting in.

Wanna break out of here?” my cellmate asked.

“Isn’t that against the law?” I asked.

“Law? What law? This isn’t a real prison.” My cellmate said.

“You know, if we’re lucky, they’d let us out early for good behavior!” I suggested.

My cellmate sighed and said, “Just follow my lead, and we’ll get out of here.” Couldn’t get out the cell entrance because the gate was locked but behind me was a giant opening. There was no back wall. My cellmate and I just snuck out that way.

“How come I didn’t notice there was no back wall in the prison?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, just to let you know. I’m an undercover cop! Back in the cell with you!” my cellmate said, showing me his badge.

“AW C’MON!” I complained. The cutaway ends.

“You’re right, Water.” I nodded in agreement. Maybe Swinebutt didn’t steal my box….. but still, it looks like he’s…. up to something. But… I dunno, Water. I feel like you and my friends were right. Maybe our dreams are not all they seem. I don’t think being a human was such a good idea.”

“Look I don’t care! Just go to sleep!” Water complained.

“But I can’t sleep. I don’t have my teddy bear with me.” I whined. “Sing Soft Dalek for me.”

“No, you only sing Soft Dalek when you’re sick.” Water corrected me.

“I’m homesick, it’s a type of sickness.” I corrected her.

“UGH!” Water groaned, and she stepped out of bed, and sat on mine. She rubbed my head and started singing; “Soft dalek, warm dalek, little ball of hate….” It’s been a while since we sang this song, so she forgot the rest of the words.

“Happy dalek, sleepy dalek.” I reminded her.

“Happy dalek, sleepy-“ she was singing, but I interrupted her.

“No.” I said.

“What do you mean no?” Water asked.

“You have to start over now.” I said.

“UGH!” Water groaned again. “Soft dalek, warm dalek, little ball of hate! Happy dalek, sleepy dalek, exterminate!”

“That was good, but you sang ‘Happy dalek’ and ‘sleepy dalek’ too fast.” I pointed out.

“GOOD NIGHT, FLARE!” Water said with an attitude, going back to her bed. Well, Water couldn’t help me out, so I just decided to close my eyes and fall asleep. You know, its comfee when you sleep in your underwear! Water’s clothes and my clothes we put in the laundry, since that’s the only pair of clothes we got. Ugh! Why am I wearing briefs? I wanted to wear boxers with the smiley faces on them! Maybe I’ll pick some up at Wal-Mart before school tomorrow. I just hope my box is still safe, and tomorrow I’d have better luck than today.

So I discovered the portal to the human world and yet it’s not as it seems. Perhaps there’s a lesson to be taught about that. I left my friends and family (well, most of them) just to fulfil a dream of mine. Well… I was here on a personal matter actually, but still… I miss the Noble Six. MY Noble Six, not these apes! I shouldn’t have dreamt of leaving them just to eject myself out of my universe and into a fictional universe. I hope I’ll be able to go back and patch up my mistake. I wonder if my friends even miss me?

Author's Note

Now I know the Noble Six all hating eachother is exactly same as the Mane Six hating eachother in the original Equestria Girls, but hey... there could be more to this! ;)

This is also the first chapter we meet human Boorlie and human Fonz Punkskull. In the original Equestria Brahs there was no human Fonz. The only antagonists from FiE that were in this world so far was human Swinebutt and human Boorlie, but I wanted to add more OCs from the Friendship is Epic series, so I decided to add Fonz, and you'll be meeting one more familiar antagonist in the next chapter!

Thinking Outside The Box

Meanwhile back in Equestria, Blaze was pacing around on the castle grounds, awaiting for his pet phoenix Apollo to show up again. Blaze hears a caw and Apollo flies inside and lands on the window.

“Any luck finding them, Apollo?” Blaze asked.

“No master, I searched everywhere, but there’s no sign of Flare or Water anywhere in the city.” Apollo said.

“What did the bird say?” Crystal asked.

“Alright first of all, Apollo shouldn’t be implied as a ‘bird’, he’d rather be implied as a phoenix.” Blaze told her.

“I don’t mind either way, master.” Apollo said.

“So yeah call him a phoenix.” Blaze requested.

“Well what did he say?” Crystal asked.

“He said Flare and Water were nowhere to be found in the city.” Blaze said.

“He wasn’t anywhere in the castle.” Psyche said.

“Ah called Ponyville, but nopony said he arrived at all.” Engie said.

“That sucks, where’s Aqua?” Blaze asked.

“No idea.” Engie said.

“Haven’t seen him since the search.” Psyche said.

“Alright, I’m going to give him a call.” Blaze said, as he took out his phone and called Aqua.

“Hello?” Aqua said on the other line.

“Hey Aqua, where are you?” Blaze asked.

“I’m… searching for Flare…. he’s not at the spa.” Aqua said.

“Oh, alright, but keep looking! We’re not leaving without him!” Blaze said.

“Sure, Blaze, sure- OW! Not so hard!” Aqua complained.

“What was that?” Blaze asked.

“Nothin’, nothin’. Hey since when did I get a cell phone?” Aqua asked.

”You’re using Psyche’s.” Blaze said.

“He’s using my what?” Psyche asked.

“Alright, talk to you later, Aqua!” Blaze said and ended the call.

“So nothin’ from Aqua either, huh?” Engie asked.

“Howdy, sugarcubes! Y’all look thirsty! Ah made some hot cocoa!” AppleJack said.

“Thank you, AppleJack!” Blaze said, taking one.

“Yeah for sure! Dibs!” Engie said.

“Is this apple hot cocoa?” Crystal asked.

“Uhh, no, this is regular hot cocoa.” AppleJack said.

“Who are you and what have you done with the real AppleJack?” Crystal asked.

“Ah don’t have to make apple products ALL the time, Crystal.” AppleJack said.

“So, what brings you and your friends here, AppleJack?” Psyche asked.

“We’re here for Twilight’s first princess summit, also her crown was stolen and she’s about to get it back.” AppleJack said.

“Why did Twilight’s crown get stolen?” Blaze asked.

“Ah got a better question. What’s a princess summit?” Engie asked.

“To be honest, no idea.” AppleJack said. “We just pretend to be proud of Twilight and know what it is because she’s our friend, and we love to make her happy.”

“I know what a princess summit is.” Psyche said.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” Engie asked.

“I’m not telling.” Psyche said.

“Because you don’t know.” Engie said.

“No, I do know!” Psyche corrected him.

“Then tell us what it is.” Engie demanded.

“Umm… ok…” Psyche said nervously as he takes out his phone. “Please excuse me, I have to respond to this text message.”

“You are not using Google, Psyche.” Engie said.

“Wait, doesn’t Aqua have your phone, Psyche?” Blaze asked him.

“Just because you SAY he has my phone doesn’t mean he actually has it.” Psyche corrected him.

“Ah there you are AppleJack! C’mon, Twilight’s about to leave!” Rarity called out.

“Leave? Where is she going?” Psyche asked.

“You don’t know? She’s going through the Universal Transport Mirror to get her crown!” Rarity said.

“Wait a minute, the Universal Transport Mirror?” Blaze asked. They all arrived at where the mirror was placed, but the Noble Six had to get Aqua out of the spa, by the time they got back to the mirror room, Twilight and Spike already left through the portal.

“HEY! What took you guys so long?” Pinkie asked.

“I think I might know where Flare is!” Blaze said.

“You think? But you said you didn’t know where Flare was a while ago.” Crystal reminded him.

“I know what you’re thinking; Flare might be where Twilight is now.” Luna said.

“Oh she already left? Bummer! I didn’t get to say goodbye!” Crystal complained. “Also I didn’t say, ‘don’t let the glass hit you on the way out’.”

“You didn’t even say hello to her yet.” Psyche reminded her.

“Wait a minute? What do you mean? What happened to Flare?” Flutters asked.

“He got mad a couple of nights ago and him and Water gone missin’.” Aqua said.

“Oh gosh! That’s terrible!” Flutters said.

"He must be in that world where Twilight is!" Crème assumed.

"Really, Crème? What was your first clue?" Psyche asked sarcastically.

"I did find this recording on his Ipad that was made before dinner that night." Crème took out my Ipad, and it showed the recording of me giving out a message, and everypony in the room came to watch.

"Is this working?" I said in the video, tapping on the screen, making sure the Ipad was recording. "Crèmepop, before I change, here's a list of instructions for when I'm human. 1: Don't let me hurt anyone. Can't have that, you know how humans are like. 2: Don't worry about my shop. I’m putting you in charge of everything, just do what I normally do. 4, no...... wait a minute, 3: Don't get involved of any historical events....... without me. We do everything together! 4: You! Don't let me abandon you."

"5: And this is the most important part, 5: Don't let me eat peanut butter! I hate peanut butter! Humans are usually stupid, as I know of, and I am one, I might do something stupid like eat peanut butter! When I come back, I don't wanna wake up being back and tasting that! And 6: Now I have to talk for a roundabout minute, without hesitation, deviation, or whatever the other thing is, it's like that Panel Game on Channel 4 like I already just pointed out; however, I'm gonna move on and say number 7: and talk about my other favorite band which is Boston, which I don't think many remember Boston, but the best gig I ever went to was the Germane Chocolate Cake and French Toast convention in Baltimare Convention Center, I think it was December, maybe in 1990, and Boston was playing, and it was quite the best gig I ever been to."

"I'm probably sitting in the human world right now, playing the piano, because I finally have fingers for playing it, and I'm gonna wind up soon, making a few strange noises with my mouse, which will go somewhere on the lines of 'Bingle-Bongo, dingle-dangle, yiggidy-doo, yiggidy-dah, ping-pong, lippy-tappy-too-taa'. And 23: If anything goes wrong, if they find us Crème, you know what to do. They're coming! The angels are coming for you! But listen to this, your life may depend on it. Don't blink! Blink and you're dead! They are fast! Faster than you can believe! Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!" The recording ends.

"I didn't understand a word he said." AppleJack said, checking her ears.

"Ehh, it's mostly just nonsense." Engie said.

“Hey if I know Flare he’ll be able to take care of himself! Nothing to worry about!” Rainbow Dash said.

“I dunno Rainbow, I should go after him.” Blaze said.

“No! Too many ponies from our world have gotten into that world. We don’t need unnecessary risks.” Celestia said.

And dragon, don’t forget dragon.” Pinkie added.

“If we’re correct, and Flare is in that world, then Twilight will no doubt find him.” Cadance said.

“Oh, I hope he’s alright.” Crème said to herself.

“Seriously? Nopony talking about Water again?” Crystal complained.

Just then, Engie turned around and saw a Weeping Angel behind him. "AAAAH!" he screamed.

"Do what Flare's message said! Don't blink!" Pinkie panicked.

Meanwhile back with Water and I, I gotta say that was the most peaceful sleep I ever had. I got itchy when I woke up. The itch gone away though when I took a shower. I always take long showers, but this was the hotel! The water bill isn’t my problem! Ah ha! So we left the hotel and gone over to school, but- woops, we forgot our clothes from the laundry. Human Rarity told us it’s against the law to be out in public without clothes. How was I supposed to know? Today would’ve been a good day to buy those boxers I wanted! Walking around in briefs was pretty embarrassing. Hey, at least most of the students were paying more attention to Water’s underclothes than me. What? What makes Water so special? Why is she the center of attention? Rarity offered clothes, but Water and I preferred our own clothes. So we went back to the hotel to get them, then we returned to school.

Hey good news as well! I got the school president to make those dalek hall monitors I requested yesterday, and today we’re finally going to see it in action! Only one was made though, but one dalek is worth a million! “NO SCOOTERS IN THE HALLWAY!” the dalek ordered Scoots.

“You serious? Since when was this a rule?” Scoots complained.

“THAT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN! YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS; YOU MUST BE REPORTED TO THE PRINCIPLE’S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!” the dalek ordered her.

“Again? I already have 4 demerits!” Scoots complained.

“THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS. REPORT TO THE PRINCIPLE’S OFFICE IMMEDIATLEY!” the dalek ordered her. Scootaloo groaned and did so.

“So got any plans today?” Water asked me.

“Yeah, I have to get the Noble Six to unite, and find my box that I can almost guarantee that Swinebutt took.” I said.

“But you don’t COMPLETELY guarantee?” Water asked.

“Well, no…. but....” I stuttered. Water just laughed at me.

“Oh Flare you never make any sense do you?” she asked.

“Runs in the family, sis.” I said.

“Shouldn’t I know that?” Water asked. We were walking along the hallway, until I found a familiar looking human in the hall, along with a pet dog in her backpack.

“Hey, isn’t that Twilight and Spike?” Water asked.

“Looks like this world finally made a Twilight and a Spike to add to the collection!” I said. I started to think for a sec. “Hmm, if this Twilight is just like the one back home, then maybe she can help me solve my problem with my friends.”

“Wouldn’t hurt to try.” Water said.

“Pssst, hey.” A familiar voice whispered to us. This guy opens his trenchcoat and he asks us, “Wanna buy a fake hall pass? A fake doctor’s note? A shot that’ll make you sick and able to go home?”

“Lord Thorn?” I asked.

“Shhhh!” Lord Thorn shushed us. “You never met me.” I met his pony counterpart. He scammed Engie twice, and Crystal and I once, but if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’ve met those two.

“You saying that hypothetically or for real?” I asked him.

“Look… you wanna buy something or what? Be careful what you say and do… they’re listening!” Lord Thorn whispered.

“What’s that needle that’ll make us sick? What type of sickness?” Water asked.

“Simple! It’s a used needle.” Lord Thorn said as he takes it out and squirts it.

“Errr… on second thought, I’d like to be homesick, but not in a lethal way.” Water said.

“Suit yourself.” Lord Thorn whispered as he tip-toes away.

“Shouldn’t we tell on him?” Water asked me.

“I’d rather not.” I said. “I saw he was selling one of those fake police badges too that’ll let him get away with anything.”

“This place is so strange, Spike.” Twilight said to her…… dog. I walked over to Twilight, and leaned against the locker.

“Sup sista?” I greeted.

“Flare?” Twilight asked.

“Wait, how did you know my name was….. Twilight?” I asked.

“Your name is Twilight? I thought it was Flare?” Water asked me.

“Wait, Flare and Water? Is that you?” Twilight asked.

“Uhh, duh! Why wouldn’t we be?” Water teased.

“No, I mean, I might sound crazy, but…. are you the same Water Gun and Flare Gun from Equestria?” Twilight asked.

“What are you talking about?” Water asked, pretending to not know a word she’s saying.

“Oh…. well…. I guess I might have the wrong idea. Sorry to bother you.” Twilight said, feeling embarrassed.

“She’s just kidding, Twilight! It’s us!” I said.

“Oh yeah? How can I be sure?” Twilight asked suspiciously.

“I imposed as you in your school reunion.” I said.

“Flare! It’s good to see you!” Twilight said happily, giving me a hug.

“Hey where’s my hug?” Water complained.

Twilight gives her a hug too and asks, “What are you two doing here? Flare, your friends have been worried sick about you! You’ve been missing for days!”

“And they haven’t been worried sick about me?” Water asked with an attitude.

“This place isn’t safe for you two, you have to go home!” Twilight instructed us.

“I ain’t going nowhere.” I said.

“Yes you are, Flare!” Twilight ordered me as she started pushing me, but I just stood there. “My goodness Flare! What have you been eating?”

“Holiday Inn has free breakfasts!” I said.

“He pigged himself out.” Water said and giggled.

“Shut up, Water!” I instructed her.

“You two shouldn’t be here! You have to go home!” Twilight instructed us.

“Is that why you’re here? Just to get us out?” I asked.

“No, someone by the name of Sunset Shimmer stole my crown, and I need to get it back.” Twilight said.

“It’s vital.” Spike said peeking his head out of the backpack.

“Hey Spike! How are you- Wait a minute…. You’re a dog?! AAAH!” I yelled and I hid behind Water.

“What’s his problem?” Spike asked.

“He’s afraid of dogs, remember?” Water reminded him.

“Flare, it’s me! Your ol bro Spike!” Spike said.

“Yeah, but you’re still dog!” I said.

“C’mon, Flare!” Spike begged.

“Wait, in our universe, Winona is a dog and Spike is a dragon. But if Spike is a dog in this world, does that make Winona a dragon in this world?” I asked.

“I highly doubt that.” Twilight said.

”You do? Because…. that would be so awesome!” Spike said to Twilight.

“Flare, Water, portal, now!” Twilight ordered us.

“Look, I can’t go home even if I wanted to! Someone stole my little black box! That box is very special to me, and I ain’t going anywhere until I get it back!” I swore.

“But your friends, Flare.” Twilight said.

“Look, I wish I could listen to them.” I admitted. “I mean, I’m not really enjoying this world that much. Being an ape is stupid and no one here would know good friendship if it bit them in the behind- SPIKE DON’T YOU DARE!”

“WHAT?!” Spike yelled.

“No one here knows good friendship?” Twilight asked. “I think I get what you’re saying. I haven’t met a single nice person here yet.”

“You haven’t met anyone here yet.” Spike reminded her.

“My friends hate eachother, and they won’t tell me why. They were nice to me, I mean everyone is nice to the new guy as long as they’re not freshman, and it looks like I’m not freshman material, but to eachother I mean.” I explained. “I mean, this place has hate and arguments! We never have that in Equestria!”

“Says the pony who left his hometown because of that same reason.” Water reminded me.

“Took those words right out of my mouth, Water!” Spike said.

“But my point is, I need this box. I mean, you’re here because of your crown, right? Well… this box is as important to me as that crown is to you, Twilight.” I said.

“Well, if it means that much to you, you better find it fast; at night in the third day, the moon will reach the peak of the night sky, and the portal will close, and you’ll be stuck here for 30 moons!” Twilight explained.

“And 30 moons is how long? 30 days?” I asked. “I’ll be fine here for a month! I don’t mind! Crème can take care of my shop and Fluttershy can take care of my fish!”

“30 moons means 30 months, Flare.” Twilight corrected me.

“Oh…. well that changes everything. How long did you say I have to be here for?” I asked.

“Until Friday night.” Twilight said.

“And what day is it?” I asked.

“Wednesday.” Twlight said.

“Well I better unite the Noble Six, and find my box, and fast!” I said.

“Well, I’ll be sure to help you out when I can, but for now I just got here, and I need to learn more about this place.” Twilight said.

“Also, I happened to skip breakfast today, so I’ll need something.” Spike said.

“Well Flare, if you really want your friends to unite, you should ask why they all started hating on eachother in the first place.” Twilight suggested.

“What made you think I didn’t ask why?” I asked.

“Do you ever ask before jumping to conclusions?” Twilight asked as she smirked at me.

“That isn’t my fault!” I whined.

“Look, you’re on your own for now, I have to go.” Twilight said as she and Spike run off.

“So there’s a time limit now, huh?” Water asked.

“If only I had more time.” I said in worry. “I better quick save here.” So I took out my cell phone, pressed the quick save button on it and my position was saved in case I messed up. Just then, an anvil falls on me and I die, but luckily for me I respawned at my last save point.

Meanwhile over at the science lab, Swinebutt was putting on the finishing touches on his new machine. Boorlie Pomodoro, along with the humanized version of my ex-marefriend from Equestria, Blueberry Pie, were all there with him. “HA HA HA HA!” Swinebutt laughed evilly as he snorted.

“What’s so… what’s funny, good chap?” Boorlie asked.

“I dunno, I’m just pretty excited to finish up this machine!” Swinebutt said excitedly.

“So what are you planning to do with it, Porky?” Boorlie asked.

“With this machine, I’ll be able to create a power beyond anyone’s comprehension! With this machine, I can create magic!” Swinebutt said.

“Stop talking gibberish, Porky. Magic doesn’t exist.” Boorlie reminded him.

“No, but Harry Potter does.” Blueberry said.

“No he doesn’t. What makes you think he exists?” Boorlie asked.

“Because I saw him on broadway, doing an adult show. Harry Potter was in his birthday suit in broadway.” Blueberry said.

“But still… magic doesn’t exist, Porky.” Boorlie reminded him.

“You may think so, but Sunset Shimmer says she needs an ultimate power source in order for her crown to work so she could overthrow the school.” Swinebutt said as he places his pinky near his mouth.

“What did this Sunset Shimmer girl promise you anyway, baby? She’s a liar and traitor, and you know it.” Blueberry reminded him.

“So am I, sweetheart.” Swinebutt said mischievously to his girlfriend. Yeah, just like Equestria Swinebutt, he’s with Blueberry Pie, but the irony is that I never noticed, and I still don’t know that they’re together. The only reason I know now is because I’m writing this story many years into the future. I mean, how else did I know Crèmepop had a crush on me?

“Right, when you made the school forget, right?” Blueberry asked.

“Yep!” Swinebutt said as he snorted. “The whole school forgot those two even existed! That’s the power of science, baby!”

“Two traitors working together, huh? That sounds… so bloody like you.” Boorlie said.

“Thank you, Boorlie!” Swinebutt said. “The only thing I have no idea about is which one of us is going to betray the other first?”

“Sunset Shimmer is clever, Porky, but you’re the genius here!” Boorlie said.

“Exactly!” Swinebutt said.

“So how do you expect to work this thing anyway?” Blueberry asked.

“For this work, I need a power source; a gem of some sort, but the sad thing is, I’m running low on my budget, and if I’m going to help the most popular student in this school gain power, and then overthrow her when she least expects it, I’ll need a pound diamond.” Swinebutt explained.

“Well if you’re in need of a diamond, you should get yourself a job, Porky.” Boorlie suggested.

“C’mon, Boorlie, I can’t do this without you! I need your help in getting me a pound diamond so I can power this machine! You and I will be able to rule the school!” Swinebutt said.

“I’ll help you out if I can, but for now I have business to take care of.” Boorlie said.

“What kind of business?” Swinebutt asked.

“The new kid in school looks pretty suspicious.” Boorlie said.

“Who, the purple one? Yeah, she’s been acting like a horse all day.” Swinebutt said.

“Not that one, the red one! I know he is up to something!” Boorlie said.

“Wait… red one?” Swinebutt asked.

“Yeah… Flare Gun is his name.” Boorlie said.

“That’s impossible!” Swinebutt said nervously.

“You may think so but there he is.” Boorlie said.

“Ok this really complicates things. I’ll have to take care of him later.” Swinebutt said and snorted. “Just help me find a pound diamond, and we’ll be able to take over with.”

“As you wish, Porky.” Boorlie nodded as he walked out of the room.

“How did this happen, Porky? How is he here?” Blueberry asked nervously.

“I don’t know, but my plan must fall into place. I can’t let Flare ruin everything for me again.” Swinebutt said. Well then… it would seem that makes Swinebutt an even bigger suspect for stealing my box. He seems to recognize me, and Blueberry does too, but then again they’re a couple. Could this Porker Swinebutt be the same Porker Swinebutt from Equestria?

Meanwhile, Water and I got separated again, but I met up with Psyche. He said he wanted to go help Pinkie with the party decorations so I went with him and assisted. “So Psyche, I wanted to ask you something.” I started.

“Hit me.” Psyche said.

“Ok! I’ll hit you once I see a volkswagon go by.” I said.

“No not that, what did you want to ask me?” Psyche asked.

“You think I look better in a blue jacket or a blue vest?” I asked.

“That jacket really suits you. I mean, a vest might, but… I dunno, something tells me the jacket is better suiting for you.” Psyche said.

“I agree. It looks really cool.” I nodded. “You have a cool jacket too, brah.”

“Thanks! People keep mistaking me as a girl because of my colors.” Psyche said.

“Wait… you’re not a girl?” I asked.

“Shut up.” Psyche shook his head and chuckled a bit.

“No, I say shut up to you, you don’t say shut up to me.” I corrected him.

“Whatever, man.” He shrugged.

“Anyways, there’s something else I gotta ask. Why are you not friends with Engie, Blaze, Aqua, or Crystal?” I asked.

“DON’T MENTION THEIR NAMES TO ME!” Psyche yelled.

“Psyche, I want to help out. I want to help fix this!” I begged.

“Yeah, well, forget it! Those four are nothing but trouble! I don’t want anything to do with them!” Psyche said.

“Brah, all of you are making me hate apes even more now.” I said.

“Humanity at its best, my friend. Humanity at its best.” Psyche said.

“Hey, Psyche! Hey, Flare!” Pinkie said, hopping towards us.

“Hey Pinks!” I said to her. I then leaned over to Psyche and whispered, “I tapped that before.”

“So you two wanted to help decorate, huh?” Pinkie asked.

“Sure do!” Psyche said.

“I can’t wait! In this party we’re going to show our school spirit by singing our national anthem!” Pinkie said.

“Your national anthem, huh? Is it Venus?” I asked.

“Is it what?” Pinkie asked.

”Venus!” I said. I took out my boombox and played Venus on it again, and I started dancing. Pinkie started dancing around as well, but Psyche just glared at me, and turned the music off. I got pretty upset. “You know something, Psyche? I may sound crazy right now, but I’m going to say it! You’re as much as a buzzkill as your pony version, brah!”

“Well sorry to disappoint you, Flare; but we got better things to do than singing and dancing.” Psyche said.

“I beg to differ!” Pinkie said. “GIGGLE AT THE GHOSTIES!”

“Ok, yeah, sure. As if the ghosts didn’t have enough to go through with dying.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“C’mon Psyche, just give the others another chance! I promise you won’t regret it!” I begged.

“Forget it, Flare! I’m done with those idiots!” Psyche said. “After they all shattered my dreams, I’m done!”

“One more chance, please? For me?” I begged.

“How is doing it for you going to make it better?” Psyche asked.

“Oooo somebody call 9-1-1! Psyche’s comebacks are fire burnin’ in the gym right now!” Pinkie said as she hopped.

“The sugar helps her get hyper, but her weight stays the same.” Psyche said to me.

“I know.” I said upsettingly.

“Are you ok?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, dude. Forget about it.” I said upsettingly as I walked out of the gym.

Well that was that, Psyche wouldn’t give them a chance…… yet. I couldn’t give up! I found Crystal and AppleJack outside checking out Black Thunder’s skateboarding moves on the bike racks. “How am I doing, babe?” Thunder asked.

“You’re doing great, Thundy! Keep it up!” Crystal cheered.

“Whoa nelly! Ah haven’t seen skateboardin’ moves like that since Big Mac was forced to ride down the biggest wheel-chair ramp in the world!” AppleJack said.

A cutaway shows Big Mac riding a skateboard, and he was just about to ride down a wheel-chair ramp, but he accidentally went down the stairs and started falling over and he kept yelling; “Eee! Nope! Ah! Ooo! Nope! Ah! Eee! Nope! Ooo! Eee! Nope! Ahh!” The cutaway ends.

“Except he fell down the stairs by accident.” AppleJack added. “But since he was in a wheel-chair after that, he avoided ramps ever since; and it doesn’t help that we have a two-story farmhouse.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Big Mac should avoid stairs, not ramps!” Crystal said.

“That’s what ah said, but he said the ramps are the ones that betrayed ‘em.” AppleJack said.

“Hey, Crystal! Hey, AppleJack! Hey, Thundy!” I greeted.

“Howdy, Flare!” AppleJack said.

“What’s up, Flare?” Crystal asked.

“I’m stepping on your shadow, AppleJack!” I said as I started stomping on AppleJack’s shadow. “I’m stepping on your shadow! Does it hurt?”

“Err, no. Why would it?” AppleJack asked.

“Wow.” I said as my smile went away. “Why are you always so serious, AppleJack? You need to chillax once in a while and let people have their fun. I mean, like when Pinkie makes up a word out of nowhere, you just say ‘it’s not a real word’. What’s your problem? Can’t you let people have their fun?”

“Well, sorr-ry. Ah was just helpin’ her not sound stupid is all.” AppleJack said.

“Dare to be stupid, cowgirl.” I said. “It’s like spitting on a fish, it’s like barking up a tree, it’s like saying you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free.”

“What?” AppleJack asked.

“Oh snap! I KNOW THAT SONG!” Crystal shouted in excitement.

“So anyways, checking out Thundy’s awesome moves?” I asked.

“You know it! Isn’t he awesome?” Crystal asked.

”He sure is! HEY GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE, WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!” I shouted at him.

“What was that?” Thunder asked as he was looking back at me, and then crashing into a tree.

“Ooooo!” we all said.

“Snap.” Crystal added.

“I warned him.” I said. So we all went over to him to see if he was ok.

“You alright, Thundy?” Crystal asked.

“Can I have whip cream on that pie, mommy? We going to Didney Worl?” Thunder asked as he laid on the ground with stars floating around his head, and his pupils rolling around his eye sockets.

“We should take ‘em over to the nurse’s office.” AppleJack suggested.

“NOPE! NO!” Thunder yelled, getting back up quickly. “No, really! I’m fine! No need for nurse’s office! I’m cool! I just…. need to sit down.” Thunder started walking pretty funny over to the bench nearby, but then he falls over. We run over to him, and help set him down over at the bench.

“Ah’ll go get ‘em some ice. Ya stay here.” AppleJack instructed Crystal as she ran back inside the school to get some.

“Is that Middy Mouse I see, mama? Donna Duck?” Thunder asked, still all loopy.

“Shh, its ok, Thundy! We’ll get you some Mickey Mouse ice cream in a little bit.” Crystal said, comforting him.

“Yay!” Thundy cheered.

“Hey Thundy, guess what?” I asked.

“What?” Thunder asked.

“I’m stepping on your shadow!” I teased as I started stomping on the lower part of his shadow.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Thunder cried.

“STOP IT, FLARE! YOU’RE HURTING HIM!” Crystal cried.

“Heh! That’s what makes you better than AppleJack. You like to joke!” I said.

“My butt hurts.” Thunder said.

“Flare, where in the shadow were you stepping on him?” Crystal asked me.

“The tushy.” I said. “But that’s ok. He said his butt hurts, so we’re fine.”

“Hear that Thundy? You’re going to be fine!” Crystal said.

“Why must all the food in this park be so expensive?” Thunder asked.

“Hey Crystal, I was wondering. Do you… ever miss… your old friends?” I asked.

“I’m… not sure… what you mean.” Crystal said as she teased my style of speech. Add a ‘pffft’ between those silences, and then we’d be speaking Rock Bottomite!

“You know… your friends? Don’t you miss hanging with them?” I asked.

“Of course I do! I never see my friend Woodenshy anymore! He moved to another school last year and I miss him.” Crystal said.

“No I didn’t.” Woodenshy corrected her as he was standing right there beside us. “I said I came here from another school during sophomore year.”

“WOODY! YOU’RE BACK!” Crystal cried out in excitement.

“Actually, I was talking about Blaze, Psyche, Engie, and Aqua.” I corrected her.

“Oh them? Please! Not after what they said about me being stupid and all! I’m not stupid! I’m just dumb!” Crystal said.

“Crystal, I’m pretty sure they didn’t mean it.” I said.

“Mommy? Where’s daddy? He’s been gone so long! Do you think he’ll ever come home?” Thunder asked, still loopy.

“I’m pretty sure they meant it! I don’t need those losers! I have my Thundy, and there’s nothing anybody can do to make me forgive them!” Crystal said. Wow, everyone’s taking this seriously! They must’ve done something really bad to eachother to make them hate eachother like this! I don’t get it. Why? So I went over to workshop, and I talked to Engie about it too.

“Forget it, Flare! Ah just ignored them after they destroyed mah entire collection.” Engie said building some sort of mechanical automatic trash can with Rarity.

“What collection?” I asked.

“Mah Little Pony: Friendship is Magic action figure collection.” Engie said.

”My what?” I asked confusingly.

“You know, that TV show about ponies and magic? Twilight Sparkle learnin’ the magic of friendship?” Engie asked. I just stood there in silence, and then I twitched many times, making funny noises, and then I fainted. “What was that all about?” Engie asked.

“Darling, can you hand over the socket wrench?” Rarity asked.

“Sure.” Engie said, giving it to her.

“This automatic trash will pick up any disgusting filth around this school without anybody touching it!” Rarity said.

”Ah know! This is amazin’! Let’s test it out!” Engie flicked on the switch and the trash can’s spider legs started walking around the classroom, picking up the trash off the floor with it’s mechanical hand and placing them in the bin.

“It works! It works!” Rarity said excitingly.

“Much obliged, partner!” Engie said to Rarity, giving her a hand shake.

“HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Trixie yelled as the trash bin picked her up. “The Great and Powerful Trixie demands you to put her down AT ONCE!” The trash bin stuffs Trixie inside it, with her head inside, and her legs sticking out.

“I suppose it needs further work.” Rarity said embarrassingly.

“Nope! Ah think it works perfectly!” Engie said with a mischievous grin.

“Hey, yummy! There’s peanut butter crackers in here!” Trixie said as her voice echoed in the trash bin. So all there was left is Blaze and Aqua. I know how loyal Blaze is and how kind Aqua is, they have no doubt in accepting!

“Absolutely not!” Blaze said.

“Aw c’mon, Blaze! You’re loyal! Prove your loyalty and win them back!” I begged.

“No way, man! I am not loyal to those who break their words!” Blaze said.

“They lied to you?” I asked.

“They sure did! Many times! I’m gonna stand by and let them ruin me!” Blaze said.

“YEAH! What he said!” Candy Cotton said.

“Trust me, the same thing happened to me with my ex-friends, so I’m not going to be fooled!” Rainbow said. Rainbow and Blaze both walked out of the gym, leaving me in there with Candy.

“Hey, Candy!” I said.

“Wow, so far, you’ve been giving me more attention than those two.” Candy said. “I appreciate it!”

“Candy, c’mon!” Rainbow called out.

“Nevermind.” Candy said as she ran out of the gym, leaving me alone in the room. Ok this is starting to get aggervating to me. Why am I the only one without a human counterpart? I don’t get it! Well… Water too, but still. Why aren’t they here in Canterlot High? This doesn’t make sense to me!

Just then, I was tapped on the shoulder by Sunset Shimmer. “Hello there!” Sunset said.

“Sup sista?” I asked.

“You’re another new student here, huh?” Sunset asked.

“Sure am! Praise the wizards!” I said excitedly.

“No, praise me! I run this school, and a few things you’ll have to know is, you’ll have to do what I say, or I’ll ruin you!” Sunset said mischievously to me.

“You sound just like Swinebutt.” I said.

“EWW! Don’t compare me to that fatso!” Sunset said in a disgusting tone.

“You’re already a terrible antagonist. I mean, you’re like an average every day school bully combined with a Disney villain, and it’s so obvious that you’re bad. Plus you’re boring.” I said.

“Excuse me?!” Sunset yelled at me.

“You’re excused, sista. You are so very excused. Everyone’s either gonna hate you, or find you adorable.” I said.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Since you’re new here and all. I’ll leave you with a final warning.” Sunset said.

“What’s everyone’s problem? I gave you an insult but I followed it with a compliment, and then you just took the insult instead of the compliment. You apes, sheesh!” I complained.

“Ok… you’re officially creeping me out, dude.” Sunset said.

“You must be Sunset Shimmer!” I said.

“Ah, you heard of me, huh?” Sunset asked.

“How was that pizza?” I asked.

“What pizza?” Sunset asked. Just then Sunset gasped. “Looks like Twilight’s not the only one that doesn’t belong here.”

“You’re right, I don’t belong here. You apes are nothing but trouble. Besides, I don’t have time to deal with you, sista. Someone in this school stolen something from me, and I need it back.” I said.

“Well, maybe I can help you out!” Sunset offered.

“Sorry, I don’t trust people that think they’re so cool, Trixie Tang.” I said.

“Oh it’s a pity. I mean, I’m big-time at this school! Maybe if you help me out, I can help you with your little problem!” Sunset suggested.

“SUNSET SHIMMER! SUNSET SHIMMER!” Snips called, as him and Snails ran inside.

“What is it?” Sunset asked with an attitude.

“You two really have problems you know that?” I said to Snips and Snails. “First you’re pawns to Trixie, now you’re pawns to Sunset.”

“Ah please! Trixie’s old news now! Sunset Shimmer is the cool one!” Snips said.

“Yeah, the cool one!” Snails said.

“So what do you two dorks want?” Sunset asked.

“Somebody else has signed up to compete for the princess of the Fall Formal!” Snips said, showing her the list.

“Two of them to be exact.” Snails added.

“WHAT?!” Sunset yelled, grabbing the list from them. “Hmm, Big McIntosh, and….. who in the living heck is Flare Gun?”

“Pew pew pew!” I said. “I miss my magic, you know? I always went pew pew pew when I did my laser blast spell.”

Sunset just facepalmed herself and shook her head. “Please don’t tell me the one behind me is Flare Gun.”

“Ok, I won’t tell you the one behind you is Flare Gun.” I said.

“Why are you competing for princess of the fall formal?” Sunset asked.

“Because why not?” I asked.

“He’s got a point there.” Snails said. Sunset glared at the two of them, then turned back to me.

“Plus, if I run for the princess of the fall formal, I can do whatever I want! I want to change the school’s national anthem!” I said.

“To what?” Sunset asked. I then turned on my boombox and played Venus again on the radio, and I started dancing. Snips and Snails were dancing along too. Sunset glared at me and saidm “Turn that off!”

“Wow, you’re just as much as a buzzkill as Psyche!” I said.

“Ah, Psyche Illusion. One of my victims.” Sunset said mischievously.

“To be honest, I always thought we were the victims when it comes to him.” I said.

“Look if you want me to help you solve your box problem, maybe you can help me out.” Sunset said. “Now what can you do?”

“I can bring dat Mareami heat!” I said.

“Ok, what else can you do THAT’S USEFUL?” Sunset asked.

“I can make pizzas, and pastas, and garlic rolls!” I said to her, stuffing a garlic roll in her mouth. She spits it out.

“NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!” she ordered me.

“I can also make YouTube videos!” I said.

“PERFECT! Gentlemen, I think we found ourselves an editor!” Sunset said to Snips and Snails, and they both cheered.

“Uh, what?” I asked.

“Your services will be most useful!” Sunset said.

“Ok, but I need to find my friend Aqua first.” I said. “It’s kind of a vital emergency to find my box.”

“Very well then. We’ll meet outside in an hour. I’m sure with you assisting me in my efforts to become Princess of the Fall Formal would be most helpful!” Sunset said.

Wow, I’m going to help make a video! That’s awesome! But first thing’s first. I haven’t seen Aqua yet. He’s very reasonable, so he should be able to help me. I walked over to the chemistry class room, and did the Sheldon Cooper on the door. Knock, knock, knock; “Aqua?” Knock, knock, knock; “Aqua?” Knock, knock, knock; “Aqua?”

Aqua came to the door and opened it. “Ya know ya can just come in. The door’s open.” He said.

“Sorry brah, but I need to talk to you.” I said.

“What is it?” Aqua asked.

“I know you’re a very reasonable dude, and I know you can help me out in this.” I said.

“Well it depends, what do ya need help on?” Aqua asked. “Anythin’ ya want, I can do. No matter what the circumstances are. I’m always there to help out friends in their time of need. So ask away, and I’ll be willing to assist ya in every way I can.”

“Well that’s a relief, because I need help reasoning with Psyche, Blaze, Crystal, and Engie. You’re all great friends, and I know it for sure! Believe me, brah! I really want you to give them a chance, and reason with them! Please, Aqua! It would mean everything to me! I’ll be entirely in your debt!” I begged.

Aqua thought it over for a sec, and he nodded. “Ok, mate. I’ll help ya out.”

“Really?” I asked with a big smile.

“WHEN PIGS FLY!” Aqua yelled, slamming the door on my face.

“Aw for Wizard of Hope’s sake, I should’ve taken a picture of Swinebutt the time he was flying that helicopter!” I complained. To be honest, I’m quite shocked. Pony Aqua never yells, and he’s always willing to give second chances, but this… this is an absolute disaster! Why is this happening? I can’t get my friends to get along with one another! It’s no use! I can’t undo what they did to eachother- IF they did this to eachother! Maybe my pony friends were right. The human world is cruel.

Author's Note

This was the time Twilight came to the human world to locate her lost crown. By the looks of things, it turns out Flare was here first. This is also the time Flare meets the school's 'princess', Sunset Shimmer. Though Flare doesn't know Sunset Shimmer is a bad person yet..... or does he?

Now as I said before, we'd meet a familar antagonist in here! It's Lord Thorn! The antagonist that was made during the remake of this entire series! Now I know how troubling Sunset Shimmer can be with all the students in the school, so I had Sunset try to trick Flare, just like what she does in the original movie. Wouldn't be CHS if I didn't. :3

This is also the chapter taking place in the same day as when Twilight and Spike enter the world. Which means Flare and Water took a head start. :P

Might As Well Be Walking On The Sun

I was wondering around the school corridors alone, right before the final bell rung. I was pretty upset, because I couldn’t get my buddies back together again. They obviously hated eachother like I hate Swinebutt and Boorlie, maybe even more! I dunno, I think I should just give up, and then just regain confidence later on for a ridiculous reason. I mean, that’s the power of Equestria and CHS, my friends! As I look around and saw everybody happy with their friends, even Twilight and her friends uniting. Gosh, it was so easy for her it seems! All around the school, every group seems to get along very well. I mean look around; Bonnie, Lyra, Derpy, and Bulk Biceps with their own little group; Blueberry Pie, Fonz Punkskull, and Lord Thorn planning out their evil schemes, but together as a group; those ecko-kids; those theater kids; those techno geeks; those ‘rockers’ (you kids can’t beat classic rock, don’t try); the Mane Six being reunited after Twilight solved their problem; even the Cutie Mark Crusaders hanging out with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon! Just look at DT and SS laughing at a joke they made as the crusaders all glare at those two because they don’t get the joke. I don’t understand, they seem to get along fine in my point of view. Everyone’s got their own little group.

Not the Noble Six though. Look at Engie in there, working on his machine all alone. I saw the machine backfire on him by taking the garbage out of it’s bin and throwing it on him. I even see Aqua working on his chemistry project that seems to be going pretty well. Sarcasm for the win! I know Aqua really wants to try to convert dirty water into drinkable water, but how is he going to do that with just a bunch of vials and potions? Also, check Blaze out doing sits-ups without someone holding his feet! Can you do sit-ups without someone holding your feet? It’s physically impossible! I think. If I can’t do it then it’s a fact that it’s impossible. Crystal continued to sell snow cones, but she got jumped by Fonz, Lord Thorn, and Blueberry who ambushed her and stole them all, and her money. She was defenseless against their numbers, so she just sat there crying. Hey, I’d be crying too if I was selling nothing but flavored ice that would cause anemia on teeth. But my point is she needs friends to help protect her! Then again, where’s Thundy? She should a good boyfriend and help defend her! Just as I was thinking of it, Thundy walked by all loopy still. Oh, I guess that explains it. Finally, there’s Psyche who was working on all that paperwork for astrology! I see him stacking his papers neatly, but he slips on a paper towel that was on the floor and the papers fell all over him. I just felt sorry seeing him pick up all those papers and organizing them all by himself. I would’ve helped, but I’m too sad to…… ok I’ll be honest, I’m too lazy! But wouldn’t I do anything to bring all of them together again! They were all friends once, as seen from the yearbook that Twilight showed me earlier today.

Something was weird about those yearbooks though. There were pages that had whiteout in it. It’s like a student or two was erased from it. I wonder why? On the way out of the school, the dalek hall-monitor spotted Snips and Snails running in the hallway. "NO RUNNING IN THE HALLWAYS! DEMERIT! DEMERIT! EXTERMIN- I MEAN DEMERIT!" the dalek yelled. As I exited the school, I wanted to go rest over at the picnic tables and think it all out, when suddenly I spotted my friends, all five of them sitting down at one table.

“Hey, Flare!” Crystal said.

“Sup brahs? What are you all doing?” I asked.

“We’ve been thinkin about what you been sayin’, and tryin’ to get us to reunite.” Engie said.

“So we’re givin’ it a chance to talk it out.” Aqua said.

“Really? You guys mean it?” I asked as I smiled really big. They all smiled back.

“Hey, you’re doing what you think is best, and you’ve been great to us, man! So we decided to take your advice and talk it out!” Blaze said.

“You guys don’t know how happy I am right now!” I said excitedly. “I mean… if I wasn’t furious about all this that is happening right now is just a way to advertise toys then I’d be incredibly thrilled!”

“Of course we do silly! If we didn’t want to make you this happy we wouldn’ve made this meet-up in the first place!” Pinkie said, jumping behind me while holding my shoulders.

“Pinkie, I’m sorry, but you’re not a part of this.” Psyche said.

“Awww what?” Pinkie whined. Isn’t it just like Psyche, being a buzzkill!

“Well none of us have a problem with you. We’re tryin’ to solve a conflict between us.” Aqua said.

“Oki doki loki!” Pinkie said, humming to herself, and skipping off the school grounds, but before she left the school grounds, she crashes into a giant wall with a big number 4 on it. The wall gets knocked over and breaks into a bunch of pieces. Pinkie was pretty embarrassed. “Woopsy!” she said with an embarrassing smile, and a little squee.

Just then a couple of guitar players were playing on a stage. One of the guys asked; “Jimmy, how happy are folks when they save hundreds of dollars by switching to Geico?”

“I say happier than Pinkie Pie breaking the 4th wall!” Jimmy said.

“Get happy, get Geico! 15 minutes could save you 15% or more!” a voice in the background said as Pinkie knocks over the letter G in the Geico logo seen on the screen that I didn’t know was there.

“So you guys wanna reunite, huh? Well first we need to know, what caused this conflict to happen?” I asked.

“Well, allow me to start.” Blaze said.

“HEY! Why do you get to go first?!” Crystal complained.

“You wanna go first, Crystal?” Blaze asked.

“No, I don’t like your attitude.” Crystal said.

“This is ridiculous!” Psyche complained, facepalming himself.

“RIDICULOUS!” Crystal yelled while waving a stick at Psyche.

“Look if we’re all to become friends again, ah made an algorithm for makin friends as a flow chart on this white board here.” Engie said, as he pushed the whiteboard near the picnic table.

“First of all, Engie; there isn’t an algorithm for making friends; second, that isn’t an algorithm. That’s a picture of giraffe wearing overalls and eating a hot dog.” Psyche said.

Engie flipped the whiteboard over, and there was the algorithm on the other side. “You see, mah initial approach to Skyblaze, had the same deficiencies as those that plagued Stu the Cockatoo, when he was new at the zoo.” He explained, while showing everyone the book.

“Stu the cockatoo?” Aqua asked, taking a look at it.

“Yes, he’s new at the zoo.” Psyche said with an annoyed tone.

“It’s a terrific book. Ah’ve distilled its essence into a simple flowchart that would guide me through the process.” Engie explained.

“Have you ever had thought of just stuffin’ a sock in his mouth?” Aqua whispered to Psyche. Wow, Aqua just whispered to Psyche! This is a great start! I’m liking this!

“Engie, we don’t need a flow chart on MAKING friends. We need to talk over why we hate eachother, and how we need to fix it.” Blaze said.

“Well excuse me, but ah worked hard on makin this chart!” Engie complained.

”But that chart will be useful in the future! Right, Blaze?” I asked.

“Uhh, sure.” Blaze nodded. Phew! That was a misfire there; I stopped an argument from happening! Gotta keep this up, and keep everyone together.

“So Blaze, how did you get in a conflict with everyone?” I asked.

“Well, we all worked on the school paper together last year. We all had a lot of fun doing so! But then something happened. A newspaper written by Aquatic Armor took a picture of me in my boxers after HE took my clothes from my locker in the gym!” Blaze said.

“I keep sayin’, did not take ya clothes!” Aqua said.

“I got these photos of you taking my clothes, see?” Blaze asked, showing him the photos.

“Ok, that’s really stupid. Clearly I’m looking right at the camera. It would be really idiotic of me to do a prank like this, and then get away with someone taking a picture of me.” Aqua explained.

“Yeah, that’s true. If I was doing prank and someone took a picture of me, I’d be able to catch those rascals with no exceptions!” Blaze said. “I’m sorry, Aqua.”

“It’s alright, Blaze.” Aqua said. Wow, this is going awesome! Aqua and Blaze befriended one another! Alright, we’re on the right track! But awww bummer! Blaze wears boxers? I totally forgot to get buy those boxers I wanted today!

“Well how about these photos of Crystal tearing up my last science project?” Psyche asked, showing us the pictures.

“What? I never ripped up your science project!” Crystal said.

“Yes you did! I saw my papers torn up, and you were the last person in the room with me!” Psyche reminded her.

“I was tearing up Cloud Kicker’s project.” Crystal corrected him. “She stole my project idea, and I wanted to make sure she doesn’t turn it in before me, and she takes the credit, and the teacher thinks I’m the one who stole the idea!”

“Well, I do apologize Crystal. But who then ripped up my project?” Psyche asked.

“Don’t think you off the hook Psyche! Ah heard ya say things about mah projects! Sayin’ they were pieces of junk! That’s probably why you were jealous of me winnin’ in the science fair!” Engie explained.

“I do admit I was jealous, but I wasn’t being too harsh about them.” Psyche said.

“Uhh, ah got yer email.” Engie said.

“I did not send you a thing! Someone obviously hacked into my account!” Psyche complained.

“Yeah, that’s what they all say.” Engie said.

“Trust me, dude. I don’t even use email anymore. I use Facebook now.” Psyche said.

“Hmm…. well…. ah guess ah’ll let you off the hook. Opinions are opinions.” Engie said.

“Now hang on, Aqua! How about the time you gave me a text about nobody wanting the cake in the cafeteria, I ate it all, and then I got detention for a month?” Crystal asked.

“Crystal, I don’t even use a cell phone. I thought ya knew that?” Aqua asked.

“Oh…. well then.” Crystal said. “That puts a crack on things, in the dong.”

“No, wait, the dong?” Psyche asked.

“What thong?” Engie asked.

“No, not thong.” Aqua said. “In the dong, in the crack… in the back in the bottom of the sea.”

“In the back at the bottom of the sea?” Psyche said at the same time Aqua said that and all of us started to laugh.

“The dong ‘n the thong in the crack in the back at the bottom of the sea?” Engie asked as he laughed along. “Ah remember that!”

“Best nursery rhyme ever!” Blaze said.

Just then, all my friends started singing the song together. “The dong in the thong in the back in the crack at the bottom of the seeeea! The bong in the-“

“No wait,” Aqua interrupted, “the bong? No wait, the dog and the dog- the dog and the thong in the dong in the crack and the back-“ Aqua started laughing again.

“Why is the dog in a thong?” Crystal asked as she laughed.

“In the bottom of the seeeea!” Psyche sang.

“Hey don’t ask questions, partners. It’s the magic of the song.” Engie said.

“How can the dog be in the dong?” Aqua asked.

“The dog in the dong in the dong-” Psyche said as he starts laughing in the middle of that phrase. “The frog with the dong on a thong- no, the frog with the dong-“

“The frog with the dog, then the thong…” Blaze interrupted.

“The fron with the dog-“ Psyche continued.

“The fron?” Engie asked as he laughed as Psyche laughs after he interrupts him.

“Shut up! I’m trying to think this!” Psyche demanded. “The frog with the dong… ok, the frog… then the dong with the dog with a thong on the log in the crack in the back in the sack,” just then he sang, “at the bottom of the seeeeea!”

All five of them started singing now. “The frog in the dong and the thong with the dong on the log in the back at the crack in the sack at the hole at the bottom of the seeeeea!”

“Everybody now!” Engie yelled.

“The frog in the dong and the da with the dog on the mog in the back at the crack in the hole at the bottom of the seeeeea!” everyone sang. “The dong with the frog and the log and the dog in the log in dadada in dadada da-da-da in the bottom of the seeeeea!” everyone sang as they all leaned closer to eachother and started singing louder, “AND THE DOG IN THE DONG IN THE THONG IN THE CRACK AT THE HOLE-“

“Ok we should stop now!” Blaze suggested as we all continued to laugh.

“That was CRAZY!” Crystal yelled.

“Dibs on bein’ the craziest!” Engie said.

“Yeah let’s just finish this, jeez!” Aqua complained.

“I don’t know where we went from reuniting our friendship to talking about a frog in a thong, with a dong, and a dog…” Blaze started.

“In the crack and the back…” Crystal started to sing.

“IN THE HOLE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA!” they all sang and laughed again.

“See? I told you we would all be friends again!” I said.

“Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right, Flare!” Psyche said.

“Of course I’m right! Besides… that was a little too easy. I don’t get that. How can you all dislike eachother at first, and then befriend eachother that fast?” I asked.

“I guess that’s what we get for automatically assuming.” Aqua said. “High school’s been stressful, ya see.”

“Yeah, with all that stress, our emotions become a bit more mortalized than before. I think we can all understand that.” Psyche said.

“And it took singing a classic nursery rhyme to fix it all up!” Crystal said. “Shall we sing again?”

“Noooooo! That’s enough for one day!” Blaze said.

“Now that the Noble Six has reunited, it’s time to get to work!” I said.

“But wait, if we didn’t do these things to each other, then someone obviously did.” Aqua said.

“That’s right! Someone in the school set us up!” Engie said.

“Hey wasn’t Snips and Snails in the room with me when I was tearing up Cloud Kicker’s project?” Crystal asked.

“Gimmie your phone, Crystal.” Blaze requested. Crystal gave him her phone, and Blaze took a look at the text message that she thought Aqua gave her. “That’s Sunset Shimmer’s number.”

“How did you know that?” Crystal asked.

“I dated her once.” Blaze said. “Big mistake. She was using me to get more popular with the athletes in the school. Afterwards, she broke up with me to date with that creep Flash Sentry.”

“Now that I think about, Sunset Shimmer was right behind me when I typed in my password for my email at the school computers.” Psyche said.

“So, looks like we have our prime suspect!” Engie said.

“UGH! I hate her so much!” Blaze groaned.

“Yeah me too, Blaze, me too!” Psyche said.

“Well then, ah guess it’s time for a little payback, huh?” Engie suggested, pounding his hand.

“Yeah for sure.” Aqua agreed.

“Man, I haven’t been this angry since the time I watched the Super Mario Bros movie!” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows Blaze watching the Super Mario Bros movie, and complaining while watching it. “Seriously? That’s not what the goombas look like! Goombas look like little mushroom things, not these big guys with small heads! A great koopa? BOWSER’S THE LEADER, not a great koopa, and is that the only koopa in here? Princess Diasy? Where’s Princess Peach?! Why doesn’t Luigi have a mustache, and why is Mario balding? Well, at least you got ba-bomb right.” The cutaway ends.

“Ah, there you are, Flare!” Sunset Shimmer said, walking towards me.

“Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up!” Engie said with an attitude.

“There is no way any of you are to speak to me that way!” Sunset said.

“We’re on to your tricks, Sunset; and what I gotta say about it is: SILLY RABBIT! TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS!” Crystal yelled.

“Wh-what?” Sunset asked confusingly.

“What Crystal is trying to say is, we’re not falling for your tricks anymore Sunset Shimmer! We know what you did to our friendship, and I gotta say, our conflict is over!” Psyche explained.

“Well, I guess it’s all according to plan, huh Flare?” Sunset asked me.

“Is what going to plan?” I asked.

“Wait, Flare…. tou’re working with her?” Blaze asked.

“I was about to work on a video with her.” I said.

“YER WORKIN WITH THIS BULLY?! So, y’all thought ya could trick us, huh?!” Engie yelled at me.

“I have no idea what’s going on here.” I said.

“So, you’ve been using us this whole time, huh Flare?” Psyche asked.

“Umm…. what was I suppose to say? Oh yeah that’s right! NO! I didn’t use you! I need you all to be friends again! I need your help in helping me find a black box!” I explained.

“So, you made us all friends just so we can help you in your personal needs.” Engie assumed.

“That is not true!” I said. “Aqua, help me out!”

“I think we should go.” Aqua suggested.

“A user just like everyone else! C’mon guys, let’s get outta here!” Psyche said s all five of them angrily walked away from Sunset Shimmer and I. Wow… that went downhill so fast.

“No, brahs…. please! Don’t go! I got garlic rolls! C’mon, these garlic rolls are really good, and I made them myself! They’ll give you bad breath and girls will avoid you! Please don’t go!” I begged.

“Oh, pity. They thought you were using them. Awww, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Sunset said, trying to cheer me up.

“Sigh…. I don’t believe this. I mean, at least I got them friends with eachother again! But now they hate ME!” I said.

“Hey if it makes you feel any better, I like you!” Sunset said, smiling at me.

“A poorly made character liking me? Ehh… I’ve had worse.” I shrugged.

“Of course I like you! I find you very inspiring, Flare Gun! You have an open mind, and you’re not afraid of being yourself!” Sunset said.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” I said.

“I mean you don’t need those guys! Crystal Iceblast is an idiot, Red Engineer is a complete jerk, Blaze Goldheart has anger issues, Psyche Illusion is a wise-crack, and Aquatic Armor is just… a quiet one. Do you trust it?” I asked.

“I’ve known Aqua for over a year, how can I not?” I asked. “I’ve known all of them for over a year!”

“But how long have you known Swinebutt for?” Sunset asked.

“Wait… how did you know about that?” I asked.

“Swinebutt has his secrets, dude.” Sunset said. “He has a secret. Something that involves you and your sister.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Look, just help me out in making this video for me. I’ll go check out Swinebutt for you, and you’ll get your box back! What do you say?” Sunset offered.

“But Swinebutt has a secret. What is it?” I asked.

“Help me out and I MIGHT tell you.” Sunset offered.

“I know you won’t, but… I’m willing to take the risk when it comes to getting my box back. I’m desperate for that thing, it means a lot to me.” I said. Note: Never tell someone you barely know that you’re desperate for something. It’ll end bad, believe me.

“Well help me out with what I need, and then I’ll see what I can do.” Sunset said.

“Will there be waffles?” I asked.

“Of course! I can make you some waffles!” Sunset said.

“Will there be pancakes?” I asked.

“Sure, pancakes too!” Sunset said.

“Will there be French toast?” I asked.

Sunset sighed. “Yes, there’ll be French toast.”

“De de de de, can’t wait to get a mouth full!” I sang and then I laughed.

“Well I sure had that coming. Now c’mon!” Sunset demanded. So the two of us walked away over to Sunset’s house, but before we left, Crèmepop was there too, and she watched the whole thing. She gasped and ran off. Sunset took me over to her house along with Snips and Snails, and I got on her computer so I can her make the video. Her house was actually a studio apartment. Everything is in one room.

“Wow, you have a lot of funny clips of Twilight in here!” I said.

“I sure do! I’m trying to overthrow her so I can be princess of the fall formal, instead of her.” Sunset said.

“Wait a minute, why am I helping you? I signed up as well!” I said.

“Oh I know, but being a princess of the fall formal isn’t as important as your little box, is it?” Sunset asked.

“No, being a princess of the fall formal is waaaaay more important than a stupid box!” I said.

“Oh…. I see.” Sunset said.

“But it’s what’s inside the box is what’s important, and that’s why I’m helping you. I need it back!” I said.

“Well get to work, bro! I know you can do it!” Sunset said.

“Bro? You never use slangs.” Snips mentioned. Sunset turned over to him and Snails and glared at them. “Oh, sorry.” He said.

“Nah, Snips is right. Slangs aren’t for you, sista.” I said.

“Whatever; just get this video done.” Sunset requested.

“Can I put down ‘Brought to you by Shroom Films’ at the end?” I asked.

“Why?” Sunset asked.

“Because I need to advertise, it’s part of my contract.” I said.

Sunset sighed. “Alright fine, add it in the end.”

“Wow isn’t this great? The four of us working together as a team! I haven’t been a part of a team like this since I was in the Blue Fan Group!” I said. A cutaway shows three blue desk fans in the middle of a stage, just blowing around.

“I don’t get it! What is this about?” someone in the audience called out.

All three of us fans stop blowing, and then I said; “We don’t know either.” Just as the gag ends, I finished editing the Twilight video for Sunset Shimmer. “And there we go! Video is all done!”

“Excellent!” Sunset said.

“I hope you realize this is a friendly competition.” I reminded her.

“Don’t worry about it! I get the memo!” Sunset said. Just then, Sunset turned over to Snips and Snails and said, “You two, out. I need to have a private conversation with our friend here.”

“You got it, Sunset Shimmer!” Snails said as the both saluted to her and they walked out.

“Those two give us guys a bad name.” I said. “But then again, I’ve seen a lot of different places give girls a bad name so I suppose this is fair enough.”

“So Flare, I have a question for you.” Sunset said, looking at me mischievously.

“What is it?” I asked.

“How is Princess Celestia?” Sunset asked.

“How should I know? Luna’s my princess.” I corrected her.

“So she returned from her banishment, huh?” Sunset asked as she walks over to her fridge which was right next to her bed. Yeah that’s how small the apartment is. You could even reach the TV with your foot!

“She learned her lesson. Luna is number one once again.” I said.

“That’s good to hear!” Sunset as she takes out a bottle of some sort of liquid substance and two champaign glasses.

“She’s the one that helped me get settled in Ponyville in the first place. I owe her big time.” I said.

“You must be pretty big-shot over in Equestria.” Sunset said.

“Not really.” I admitted. “I was once when my friends and I rescued the Mane Six from Chaos Mountain. Everyone seemed to forget about it later on.”

“That doesn’t seem fair.” Sunset said as she poured the beverage into the two glasses.

“I don’t mind. I mean… I have the greatest friends ever. I have a great sister too.” I said. “Water’s not the brightest of all mares, but she’s the best sister ever. She’s caring, sensitive, and she knows what’s best for me.”

“You seemed to be a very lucky pony, Flare.” Sunset said as she sat next to me. “I just wish I had somebody very special.”

“If you’re thinking of being in a relationship with me, I’m sorry, but I told you before, I’m taken. Crèmepop’s my special somepony.” I said. “But Addie is still on the charts.”

“That’s ok, Flare. For now, I’m interested in YOU!” Sunset said as she booped my nose. “I mean, what does Crèmepop have that you need? Nothing! I have so many contacts in this universe; I have 200-200 vision.”

“What kind of pun was that?” I asked.

“What? Too cliché?” Sunset asked.

“I don’t even know what that means.” I said.

“Here, Flare, how about a little something to drink?” Sunset offered as she gave me one of her glasses.

“What are you trying to pull?” I asked.

“Nothing! You just seem thirsty.” Sunset said.

“My throat does get dry easily, but I’m not falling for that.” I said.

“You’re smart, aren’t you? I like that!” Sunset said.

“Sunset, how about you quit stalling, alright? I need that box!” I said.

“But Flare, don’t you wanna know Swinebutt’s secrets?” Sunset asked.

“Not as much as I want that box.” I said.

“But Flare, I can tell you EVERYTHING you need to know! Swinebutt, your box, where is the human version of you and your sister, hmm?” Sunset asked.

“Come to think of it. Where’s the human version of you?” I asked.

“Oh she’s around. She’s just… on a nice loooooong vacation.” Sunset said.

“Did you kill her?” I asked.

“NO I did not kill her! She’s basically me, so why would I want to kill myself?” Sunset asked.

“Because your meaning of life is pointless?” I asked.

“Whoa, what’s with the offensive attitude?” Sunset asked. “I’m trying to help you, Flare.”

“What you’re trying to do is bribe me for some reason. What do you want from me, Sunset? What makes me so special?” I asked.

“I have no friends, Flare.” Sunset said.

“And that’s supposed to be my problem, how?” I asked.

“You don’t have any friends in this universe.” Sunset reminded me.

“I don’t care. At least the human versions of my friends are friends with eachother once again. As long as they’re happy, I’m happy.” I said.

“But back in your universe, you used to have no friends, isn’t that right?” Sunset asked.

“How do you know this stuff?” I asked. “I didn’t tell you anything! You were in Equestria once, but you left long before anyone who mattered knew me. How long were you in Equestria after the Canterlot break-in crisis?”

“Long enough to get what I needed.” Sunset said.

“Twilight’s crown, I know.” I said.

“Flare, there are so much you don’t understand in this world. You don’t know about me.” Sunset said. “I’m this way because I’m alone, and I need a loving friend, just like what you needed before you moved to Ponyville. Please give me a chance, Flare. Don’t follow those false rumors about me just like those false rumors ponies said about you back at home.” Wow… I must say, I am quite impressed. Sunset is bad and I don’t trust her, but she’s very clever, very clever indeed. She used to be a student to Princess Celestia and that’s a big deal. She doesn’t let just anyone become her student.

“Ok.” I said.

“You will?” Sunset asked.

“Yes, I’ll be your friend, but first… help me get my box back from Swinebutt. Please?” I begged. “It’s worth to me more than anything in this world! Nobody in this world knows what kind of power that box holds!”

“Ok, you have a deal.” Sunset said as she shook my hand.

“Great! I’m glad we have a mutual understanding.” I nodded.

“I know where Swinebutt is right now. How about we go speak to him?” Sunset asked.

“Lead the way!” I offered. So Sunset walks over to her door and was about to walk out, but before leaving, I found something on her computer desk. It was a necklace of some sort. I remember Crèmepop saying that Sunset Shimmer stole her necklace. Seeing the living style Sunset was in, she couldn’ve afforded this. I knew this was Crème’s necklace. So as Sunset wasn’t looking, I grabbed the necklace, placed it in my jacket pocket and followed Sunset out of the apartment.

In this rate, if I can’t get my friends to help me get my box back, I can at least gain Crèmepop’s support by returning this to her. I’ll give this back to her tomorrow, but for now, I have to pretend to be friends with Sunset Shimmer. She’s not a trustworthy person, I know, but I’m gonna need her help if I’m to get my box back. I’ll have to get all this done before Friday night, because that’s when the portal will close.

Author's Note

Things are starting to get interesting, huh? Even though the story is pretty similar to Equestria Girls, it's not completely. I loved making the Geico commercial gag in here! I'm going to be doing more of those 'Happier than' commercialism pretty soon! XD

Wake Me Up, Before You Go-Go

Mind if I go off-topic for a sec? Did you know the kid with the brown hair, and the badge that has the square-root heart is actually Featherweight? Yeah, I didn’t notice at first, I thought you should know that if you didn’t. Also there’s a kid with green hair, and a brown hat in the zombie scene in the actual Equestria Girls movie, at the first second the kids are zombies; the kid with the green hair has a sands time thing on his tux just like Doctor Whooves. So technically Doctor Whooves is actually in this school, but he’s more in his 4th Doctor form, not the 10th or 11th doctor like we’re all used to. Anyways, I thought I should point that out! Back to the story!

Sunset Shimmer and I headed onto the school grounds because Sunset tells me that Swinebutt has been staying there late for some unknown reason, it’s time for us to head over there and find out what he’s up to, as well as finding my box. On the way over there, I was talking to my sister on the phone. “Yeah… yeah I’m heading back to the school grounds now, Water. We’re gonna find out if Swinebutt actually stole my box, which I totally believe he did. When am I gonna get back? I dunno, perhaps you should pick me up later. Probably in about 10 minutes. Yeah. Don’t worry about it, Water, you know the drill. Anyways, I gotta go. We’re about to eavesdrop on Swinebutt. Yeah… yeah, check the closets. Ok, I’ll talk to you later. Love you too. Ok, I love you too! Is putting the ‘I’ there really necessary? You know who loves you, sis! You’re just as whinny as mom! Takes one to know one, y’know what, sis? Shut up! You get your humor from dad! Ok whatever, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” I hang up.

“How’s your sister doing?” Sunset asked.

“She’s alright.” I said. “She’s just at the hotel right now chillaxing at the pool. She just got a new humanized bathing suit from Walmart before while she was getting me the boxers I wanted.”

“Ok. We’re really not supposed to be here after dark, so just follow my lead.” Sunset instructed me. “And stay quiet!”

“Gotcha!” I whispered as I zipped my lip. So Sunset Shimmer and I both snuck inside the school grounds. We were tip-toeing through the corridor, not making any noise other than our breathing and light taps of our shoes. I felt a burp coming though, but I was doing my best to hold it in, and I was successful, but unfortunately it came from my behind. Sunset gave me a funny look. “What?!” I whispered. She just shook her head and we continued sneaking. As we were sneaking, Twilight walks by us wearing some PJs and carrying a glass of water. She didn’t spot us though, and Sunset didn’t want to bother with her right now, so we just continued sneaking. I’m glad the Dalek hall monitor is offline during the night as well, otherwise, this would’ve been a big problem.

“Wait!” Sunset whispered as we both stopped.

“One more step, I could’ve bumped right into you.” I whispered.

“The janitor is over there mopping the floors.” Sunset pointed to the janitor who was actually Discord.

“Ah! Cleanliness is a wonderful, wonderful thing!” Discord said as he was listening to his iPod. “Just look at how sparkly this ground is! This is so obsessive to me! Ooooo I just love cleaning! I love it so much, I’ll just stand here and clean this one spot for a while longer. That way it’s cleaner than ever before!”

“Forget that! I don’t have the patience!” I said as I grabbed a piece of paper hanging on the events board. “Oh what’s that over there?” I called out as I threw the piece of paper aiming for near Discord, but since its paper and I’m bad at sports, the piece of paper just landed right in between Sunset and I.

“Or we could just go through another hallway. There are two ways to the science lab.” Sunset suggested.

“That works too!” I said. So we both snuck over to a different hallway, but on the way over there, we saw Boorlie Pomodoro sneaking by. “Hey, buuuuuudddy! What’s with the stealth?”

“Who are you? I don’t know who you are. How do you know me? Get lost!” Boorlie freaked out.

“Whoa there, brah! What’s with the hostility?” I asked.

“Flare, why are you talking to this British weirdo?” Sunset asked.

“Hey I have you know, madam, that I have a master’s degree in culinary. I’d whip up a soup that would eat your words!” Boorlie said.

“How does that make any sense whatsoever?” Sunset asked.

“Wait a minute, how do you have a master’s degree when you’re in high school?” I asked.

“The time has almost come. Everything is coming to place as you shall see.” Boorlie said as he runs away.

“What did he mean by that?” I asked.

“Forget it, Flare. Boorlie’s just some exchange student that likes to think his cooking is the greatest in this whole town.” Sunset said.

“I can tell. The Boorlie from my universe thinks that as well, until my business got in the way and all of his business came to me.” I said.

So we continued sneaking around the halls and finally located the science lab. Swinebutt was indeed inside working on his machine. “Ok, here’s in here.” Sunset whispered. “He’s outnumbered against us. Two humanized ponies against one human-pig inbred.”

“He is?” I asked.

“No, but judging his ugliness and compulsive snorting, he should be.” Sunset said.

“And by his obsessive habit of putting his pinky near his mouth. He idolizes Dr. Evil.” I said.

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Sunset said. “Now, in a count of three, we’ll barge inside, tackle Swinebutt, and tell us everything he knows. Your box and his secrets.”

“Got it.” I nodded.

“One…” Sunset started. “Two… thr-“

“No wait, this is too much pressure!” I stopped her. “Way too much pressure! I say we should go on one.”

“Fine, whatever.” Sunset said. “Ready? ONE!” The both of us barged inside and I tackled Swinebutt and pinned him on the ground.

“OW!” Swinebutt yelled and snorted. “WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?!”

“Where’s my box, porkchop? Where’s my box?!” I yelled.

“Ahh, Crimson. You came at just the right time! I’ve been expecting you!” Swinebutt said mischievously as Sunset Shimmer closes and locks the door, and then Fonz, Blueberry, and Lord Thorn come out from within the shadows.

“So… this was a trap from the beginning. I knew you couldn’t be trusted, Sunset.” I said as I looked at her. “I know how poorly written villains can be.”

“Sorry, Flare. It’s nothing personal. I have nothing against you personally.” Sunset said. “But if I were to have Swinebutt here to help me take over the school, I’d need to return the favor somehow. So I brought him you.”

“Get off him, dweeb!” Fonz ordered me. I did what he said and got off Swinebutt, releasing him from my grasp.

“So this is pony Crimson Flare Gun, huh?” Swinebutt asked as he observed me. “He’s not so different than our Crimson Flare Gun.”

“So there is another me then.” I assumed.

“There is, but not anymore.” Swinebutt said.

“What did you do to him, or me, you piece of bacon?” I asked angrily.

“Lost, forgotten. Once you came into this world you probably took over as him and he just vanished from existence, along with your sister.” Swinebutt said.

“I guess that would explain the lack of Twilight and Spike too.” I said.

“Exactly.” Swinebutt said.

“I don’t really care about this world, Porky. Do whatever you want to it. All I want is my box back.” I said.

“Crimson, Crimson, Crimson… your transformation into humanoid has made you delusional.” Swinebutt said.

“I am not deranged, brah. I know you took it. You took one of your spider-bots to Equestria and snatched my special box to lure me here for some reason. Why would you do that?” I asked.

“Flare, I’ve lied about many things as you may know, but I do not lie about this. I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Swinebutt said as he placed his pinky near his mouth.

“Well unless there’s anything else you want me to do, doc, I can go on my way.” Sunset said.

“Actually, there is one thing you can do.” Swinebutt said to her. “Boorlie has promised me my power source. He said he’d give me that pound diamond already. We’d need it if we’re going to make you powerful, Sunset.”

“You mean you haven’t gotten that thing working yet?!” Sunset yelled at him.

“What do you want me to do, huh?! Go and steal a diamond?! I’m evil, but I’m no thief! That’s why I hire some goons to do it for me. Boorlie promised me that diamond! He’s really testing my patience!” Swinebutt said angrily as he snorted.

“Well I don’t think Boorlie can be trusted, brah.” I said.

“Huh? Oh… I forgot you were here, Crimson.” Swinebutt said. “Now what to do to you so you’d stay out of our way?”

“You think you can trust Boorlie with this assignment, Dr. Swinebutt?” I asked. “I dunno why we’re calling you doctor. You’re a high school student. You don’t have PH.D.”

“I was holding myself back for personal reasons.” Swinebutt said.

“Have you been using your spider-bots lately?” I asked.

“Not as of late other than cleaning and caring my stuff. I’ve actually hired Fonz, Lord Thorn, and Blueberry to handle the dirty work.” Swinebutt explained.

“Yeah the ‘dirty’ work.” Blueberry said as she fluttered her eyes at Swinebutt.

“Not now, Blueberry.” Swinebutt stopped her.

“Aww, but you know how much I love mud baths!” Blueberry whined. “Very dirty, but very relaxing.”

“Well it was one of YOUR spider-bots that stole my precious box.” I said. I then said in a Gollum voice, “My precious!”

“So you’re saying some of my trusted clients are actually the ones who used my bots against you?” Swinebutt asked.

“One of them.” I said.

“I swear, I didn’t take any box, boss.” Fonz admitted.

“Check if you want. This is all I’m selling.” Lord Thorn admitted as he opened his trenchcoat to show Swinebutt what he’s selling.

“But come to think of it, I found Boorlie to be pretty suspicious as of late.” Blueberry said.

“You still want me to look for him?” Sunset asked.

“Actually, yes. I want us all to look for him now. He used my spider-bots without my permission and we need to teach him a lesson!” Swinebutt said.

“I’m so attracted to this plan, doc!” Fonz said mischievously as he takes out a baseball bat and swings it up and down against his opposite hand.

“Oh but what to do with him as we look?” Lord Thorn asked as he looks at me mischievously.

“Oh him? Just tie him up and lock him the closet. Both tying and locking, that way double the imprisonment!” Swinebutt said.

“How about some chains too?” Fonz suggested.

“Ok let’s not get carried away.” Swinebutt said. So they all just tied me up and threw me into the science lab’s labcoat closet. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Crimson. I’m glad to get rid of you, but I’m nothing if not the sensitive type. When Friday night comes, I’ll make sure you get thrown back into the portal and back into your world and away from here. This world ain’t big enough for the two of you.” Swinebutt started to laugh evilly and he closes and locks the door, leaving me alone in the darkness.

Well… is this it? Did I lose? I mean, he offered to take me back home before it’s too late, but I’m not ready to get outta here yet until I get what I came for! I know now that it was Boorlie that stole my precious black box! My precious! Ok, I’ll stop that now. But why did he take my box? What does the humanized version of Boorlie have against me? Anyways, if all was going according to plan, I knew Water would be here any second now. The reason I called her before wasn’t just to tell her where I was; it was also an undercover reinforcement call. Why else did I say check the closets? Anyways, I’ve been waiting in that closet for a bunch of minutes, and minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into even more hours. Felt like I was waiting there for a lifetime. I got tired of waiting so I went to sleep. I’m glad I had dinner though. Those waffles, pancakes, and French toast that Sunset Shimmer made were delicious! A little too crispy on the French toast though, but they were tolerable. I kept asking for butter with them but she kept saying its butter flavored syrup. Plus I needed help cutting them. I was too afraid I would cut myself because these hands are still new to me.

After many hours went by, the lab door eventually opened, and the bright light of the room shined right into my eyes. It burned because I was in darkness for so long. Once I regained my eye sight, my sister was standing there. “Well it looks like you’ve been in a-“

“If you say that ridiculous pun about me being ‘tied up’ I swear by the Wizard of Hope, sis.” I said.

“How about a little more respect, bro? I just rescued you.” Water reminded me.

“Yeah after like… TEN HOURS!” I added. “Is it morning already?”

“Sorry it took me so long.” Water said as she unties me. “When you said check the closets, I didn’t know which closet you were talking about.”

“The science lab closet, where else?” I reminded her. “Where would Swinebutt be?”

“Hey for all I knew he would’ve hid you in a different closet!” Water said.

“Whatever. Thanks for rescuing me, Water.” I said as I stood up and stretched.

“I’ve always admired your very flexible arms, Flare. It’s very impressive that you can put your arms all the way to the back of your neck that way.” Water said.

“I always said if the pizza business doesn’t work out, I’d just put on a flexible arms show to get through in life.” I said. “Anyways, what’s been happening when I was out?”

“You were only in there for a night. How can you miss anything?” Water asked.

“Whatever.” I said.

“So did you get your box back from Swinebutt?” Water asked.

“He never took my box.” I said. “But I know who really did now. It was Boorlie.”

“Why would Boorlie do it?” Water asked.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ll have to track him down and take the box before Swinebutt and his goons find him first, if they haven’t already.” I said.

“I doubt it. I saw Boorlie’s been hiding from them all morning. Why would he hide from them on school grounds? I have no clue.” Water said.

“We have to find him and that box, and return to the portal before tomorrow night.” I said.

“How did things go with the Noble Six?” Water asked.

“They like eachother but now they hate me since they think I work with Sunset Shimmer.” I said.

“Doesn’t seem to be like them to do that. Sounds stupid.” Water said.

“Yeah well, dare to be stupid.” I said. “Want me to sing that song again?”

“No thanks. I’d rather not have so much singing right now. Save that for the next time you come to this universe.” Water said.

“Anyways, let’s go.” I said as both Water and I exit the science lab and I start walking through the hallways, and Water follows me.

“Wait, Flare. Aren’t you going to ask me where Boorlie is?” Water asked.

“Negetive.” I said.

“Why not? You know where he is?” she asked.

“No clue.” I said.

“So where are you going?” she asked.

“To find Crèmepop.” I said.

“Why?” Water asked.

“I have to return something to her, and then… I have to reunite with the Noble Six.” I said.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Water asked.

“Yes. Find the Noble Six, and tell them to meet at the bleachers outside.” I instructed her.

“Sounds like a plan! Sounds even like a better plan than watching the entire third Lord of the Rings movie.” Water said.

A cutaway shows Water watching towards the end to the Lord of the Rings movie after… ok spoiler alert. Try to avoid this cutaway if you don’t want any spoilers. I’ll separate a line between the cutaway gag and the story, in case you haven’t seen it yet and you want to.

So the cutaway shows Water watching towards the end of the Lord of the Rings movie after Frodo and Sam threw the ring into the volcano, and they were just lying there waiting to die. “Oh my Luna, NO!” Water cried. “You gone so far! Please don’t die there! Don’t die! Don’t die! Please don’t end there! Please don’t! Ok good… it’s not the end yet. Ok, I see those giant birds coming in and picking you up. Are you still alive? Please be alive! Please be alive! OK! You’re alive, good! Nice! You reunited with all of your friends! They’re all still alive! There’s the guy who I thought was Professor Dumbledore, there are the two other hobbits, there’s the dwarf, there’s Orlando Bloom, where’s the first Hobbit guy? Ok, a king’s coordination, nice! Where’s the first Hobbit guy? I still wonder where he is.”

“Ok back home again so we should see him now. What still no sign of him? Ehh… wow. Tavern scene… is he in here? No? Yeah Sam did say he wanted to marry this girl so ok. AH there he is! Wow, he’s old! Ok I saw him, are we near the ending yet? No? Oh boat scene. Ok. They going somewhere? Oh… well ok then. Wait, Frodo is going too? Why? Wow that is touching, but this is unnecessary. Why is this in the movie? Is there gonna be a sequel or something? Where are they going? What’s the point of this? Ok… they’re sailing off into the sea. I guess this is the ending. Alright bring on the credits. Wait THAT STILL WASN’T THE ENDING?! How long is this ending?! This ending is unnecessarily long! I don’t… I don’t get this. Wait, how can he have kids already? Sheesh. Ok NOW it’s the end! WOW! That took a while! I loved this movie but that ending, man, that ending! GOSH! As if this movie wasn’t long enough!” Water complained. The cutaway ends.

A half-hour later outside at the field. The Noble Six were waiting at the bleachers. It’s kind of ironic that they call it bleachers, counting that they have nothing to do with laundry. “Alright, so we’re all here. Where’s the pep rally?” Blaze asked.

“And the frozen yogurt?” Crystal asked.

“And the new planetary discovery meeting?” Psyche asked.

“And Blue Spy?” Engie asked with his shotgun out.

“I’m only here because Water dragged me here.” Aqua said.

“You humans are so gullible.” Water said as she chuckled.

“You and Flare keep calling us humans and apes. What is this about? It’s like you’re saying you’re not human.” Blaze said.

“What’s the catch here, Water?” Aqua asked.

“You’ll find out.” Water said.

“I’m sure I’m regretting this already.” Psyche said. “Just like I regret correcting Pinkie.”

A cutaway shows Pinkie and Psyche sitting on a bench. Pinkie was about to open up a white box when she says, “You know, Psyche? Life is like a box of crickets.”

“Don’t you mean a box of chocolates?” Psyche corrected her.

“Just then, Pinkie’s face turns into an iguana’s face and she sticks her long lounge on Psyche’s face like what a frog does when it tries to catch a fly. The cutaway ends.

“Sup brahs?” I asked as Crèmepop and I both walked over to the group.

“I’m sorry, was somebody talking?” Blaze asked, ignoring me.

“Yeah, it was Flare.” Crystal reminded him.

“I know, I was just ignoring Flare, pretending I didn’t hear him.” Blaze explained to her.

“Then just ignore him! Don’t be a jerk! You’re no better than he is!” Crystal explained.

“Please, can the five of you please give me a chance?” I asked.

“A chance at what? Humiliating us?” Psyche asked. “We know what Sunset Shimmer is all about, Flare. She takes innocent high school students and makes them team up with her. It’s happened before, many times.”

“Yeah, just look at Snips and Snails.” Aqua said.

“Just hear me out, alright please?” I begged. “Please? I’m begging you! I did not want this to happen!”

“Alright, but make it quick. Mah car’s been stolen.” Engie said. “Oh and Psyche? It wasn’t my car. It was YOURS! And you know what else? I’m the one who stole it! Who’s crazy now?!”

“Umm… what?” Psyche asked.

“Look I was only teaming up with Sunset Shimmer because… well… ok, I have to be honest with all of you.” I started. “The only reason I’m here is because I thought Swinebutt stole a black box that’s very valuable to me.”

“It’s true.” Crème said.

“But it turns out I was wrong.” I said.

“Yeah, which made my last sentence seem like I’m lying.” Crème said.

“Boorlie Pomodoro was the one who stole it, and… well… I pretty much reunited you all so you could all help me get it back from him.” I said.

“I knew it! He WAS using us!” Crystal yelled.

“Well I’m glad you’re finally honest, Flare, but that was a very bad thing you did. Reuniting us for your own personal interests is a terrible reason to make us reunite.” Blaze said.

“But Blaze, don’t you see?” Crème started. “You all reunited in general. I mean… yes, Flare gave a pretty terrible reason for doing so, but you all used to hate eachother, and now look at you! You’re all teaming up against Flare because you all share a common interest. You forgot about all that you thought you did to eachother in the past only to be angry at Flare himself.” Wow… that I couldn’ve said better myself.

“Wow… ya make a pretty good point, Crème.” Aqua nodded. “We did hate eachother, but after seein’ Flare betray us made us forget the bad we did to eachother.”

“But now ah remember it again, and ah hate y’all.” Engie said angrily at the others.

“Well I don’t hate any of ya.” Aqua said.

“Neither do I.” Psyche said.

“It turned out to be false rumors. It was all Sunset Shimmer’s doing.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the way we feel about you, Flare.” Engie said. “You still did us wrong.”

“That was actually an old reason, but now… I mean… look, it’s really complicated, alright? The five of you just… remind me of friends I have back home, and… well… that’s why I’m so interested in you.” I said.

“Really?” Aqua asked.

“Really, really.” I said. “I really care about you guys. I know we don’t know eachother that long, but… I think I was wrong about you apes. They’re no different than ponies. Ponies and apes are alike in so many ways.”

“Umm… I think you lost me.” Crystal said.

“What Flare is saying is-“ Water started.

“Hey don’t talk for me! I can talk for myself!” I complained.

“Flare, you’re really not making a hick of sense. Is this all a trick again?” Psyche asked.

“A Trixie trick?” Crystal asked.

“What was that?” Trixie asked from across the field.

“I don’t think you guys should be hating on Flare.” Crème suggested.

“Oh? Why not?” Blaze asked.

“Because if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’ve been friends in the first place.” Crème said. “I saw Flare yesterday with Sunset Shimmer, and I know what he wants. He felt bad that you all hated him, very upset. He helped you all reunite, and then you all turned your backs on him.”

“It was a trick though! A Trixie trick!” Crystal yelled.

“What are you mortal fools talking about?” Trixie asked from across the field.

“What makes you think we could actually trust him though?” Engie asked.

“Because a pawn of Sunset Shimmer would’ve never brought this back to me.” Crème said as she showed them all her necklace that’s returned to her.

“Ahhh! So I never thought you lost your neck.” Crystal nodded.

“My neck- what? No! My necklace!” Crème corrected her.

“Wait, you lost that necklace long ago Crèmepop.” Psyche said, taking a good look at it.

“And it was Flare who brought it back!” Crème said.

Everybody turned to Water. “Is it true, Water?” Blaze asked.

“More or less. It’s what Flare said, but I can tell if he betrayed you; he doesn’t like it. All he really wanted all of you to be friends again; not just helping him find the box, but to spread the love and friendship and lulz throughout the whole school.” Water explained.

“Not the WHOLE school.” I corrected her. “That’s too much work!”

“Well, then… that would change everythin’.” Aqua said.

“We believe you Flare, and Crème’s right. If it weren’t for you, we’d probably still be hatin’ on one another.” Engie said.

“And so, another friendship moral has been repeated.” Water said.

“So you’re all really friends again, huh? Even though you thought I betrayed you?” I asked.

Just then, all my friends started to sing, “There was frog with a dong and thong with a dog on a log in the crack in the back in the sack at the bottom of the seeeea. There’s a frog with a dong and dog and hog and fog and a jog at the crack in the back at the bottom of the seeeeea! There’s a dog and dog and crog and mog and a… log in the crack in the sack at the bottom of the seeeeeea!” They all started laughing.

“Wow! Besides a couple of errors, I guess it’s that song that is keeping this friendship in line!” I said.

“Welcome to the club, buddy!” Psyche said.

“Welcome… to the Noble Six!” Blaze said.

“Alriiiiight!” I cried in excitement. “Alright, alright, alriiiiiight!”

“No, Flare, only one ‘alright’ is enough.” Engie said.

And so, it was lunch time again, yay! Best subject in the whole school! That and recess but I don’t think they have recess in high school. The eight of us (including the Noble Six and Crème and Water) sat over at a back table to eat our lunches. “So Flare, what’s the plan on getting your box back?” Crystal asked.

“Well I’m not really sure. I haven’t seen Boorlie all day. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Swinebutt all day, or his crew.” I said.

“But regardless, you did a good deep for us Flare. Thanks to you, we’re friends again.” Psyche said.

“And we all share common interests! For example…” Engie said as he trips over Flash Sentry and he lands face first into his food. All eight of us started laughing. “YEAH! Dibs on you bein’ a waste of character, Flash!”

“What’s your problem, Engie?! Why do you hate me so much?” Flash Sentry asked angrily.

“Cause ya stole mah waifu, that’s why.” Engie said.

“Wait… what’s a waifu?” Crystal asked.

“Where did that waifu thing come from anyway? It sounds really dumb.” Blaze said.

“I agree.” Aqua nodded.

“You should listen to your friends, Engineer… jerk.” Flash Sentry said as he walks up his clothes and then wipes away. No wait… I mean he wipes his clothes and walks away. Yeah, there we go!

“Hey, watch yer tone, boy!” Engie yelled.

“Was that really necessary, mate?” Aqua asked.

“It’s for all waifus everywhere.” Engie said.

“Engie, if this whole ‘waifu’ ideal never existed, nobody would be hating on Flash Sentry. It’s just stupid.” Blaze said.

“Dare to be stupid.” I said.

“So you think ah’m hatin’ on him for no apparent reason?” Engie asked.

“YES!” Blaze said.

“Actually, no.” Crystal said. “I mean, the only good he does is flirt with a random teenage girl, but he’s barely there to help. He just seems like a waste.”

“Now hold on, Crystal. I heard Flash helped Twilight out in getting out of trouble. So he’s not a COMPLETE waste.” Psyche said.

Just then, around the cafeteria heard the Mane Six started tapping their shoes, and trays around, and the sound really reminded me of the song We Will Rock You by Queen. They all began singing a song about Twilight winning a crown or something. It was pretty catchy! Why can’t I think of an original song? Well I’m just one person, and the Mane Six have a whole company making their songs for them. Wait, what did I say? Eh, I dunno. Holy cow, did AppleJack just take off Vinyl Scratch’s sunglasses? Well it’s confirmed now, her eyes are violet! We had a better look now than at the royal wedding! I was pretty excited after Rarity started throwing pony ears and tails at us. Wow, I just left the pony universe just to be a pony again! For Wizard of Hope’s sake, it’s like twisted dream. No, no, this isn’t a twisted dream; if it was, there’d be a tornado in it. That was really fun, and they really wanted us to see it so we can get into the school spirit! Once the singing was over, it was time to get down to business!

“Well, that was certainly entertainin’.” Aqua said.

“Uh oh.” Psyche said.

“What’s wrong, Psyche?” Aqua asked.

“The timeline’s all wrong! Flash DIDN’T help Twilight yet! That’s supposed to be tomorrow!” Psyche freaked out.

“Umm, so?” Aqua asked.

“So?! I was wrong! I’m never wrong!” Psyche freaked out. “Plus, I might’ve messed up the space-time continuum!”

“Relax, Psyche, I already did that once when I confused Twilight.” I said. “Once it’s all done, you’d realize later that it was just all in your imagination, and-“ just then, the universe just exploded and everyone died. Just then, I respawned to my last quicksave, which was the last time I quicksaved; the time after I found out Twilight and Spike came to this world.

“So there’s a time limit now?” Water asked.

“UGH! DANG IT! GAH! I forgot to save my progress! NOW I’M ALL THE WAY BACK HERE AGAIN!” I complained.

“We have to do it all over again now?” Water asked.

“It would seem so.” I said upsettingly. “Why isn’t there an AUTO save at all?”

“I think you turned them off.” Water said.

“WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!” I yelled. Just then, an anvil fell on me… again. Let’s fast-forward time back to the cafeteria after the Mane Six do their little musical number, I reunite my friends and myself with them, and I find out Boorlie is the one with my box and not Swinebutt.

“Alright, so now that Twilight’s problem is solved, and our friendship problem is solved, let’s get down to business!” I said.

“Alright, so do you propose we do, brah?” Blaze asked.

“I don’t know why you’re talking about proposing; nobody is getting married.” I said.

“No, I mean, what should we do next?” Blaze asked.

“Now that I have you all to help me, it’s time to confront Boorlie!” I said. “We have to find him, and bring back my box!”

“So you know for a fact that Boorlie was the one who took your box?” Psyche asked.

”He has to be! Swinebutt obviously didn’t steal it, but I would’ve thought he’d have access to spider-bots, unless… Engie?”

“Ah can only build sentry gun robots and mah robotic mom, ah was never able to build a spiderbot yet.” Engie confessed.

“Well Swinebutt’s obviously mad at Boorlie for stealing his spiderbots. We need to find him.” I said.

“Now hang on, aren’t ya forgettin’ somethin’, partner?” Engie asked.

“Ah! You’re right, Engie!” I went through my backpack to get out my medication. “Any of you have anything to drink?”

“What are those?” Aqua asked.

“Laxatrive. I have a bowel movement problem.” I said.

“Eww. Ya didn’t have to share all of that in the lunch room?” Aqua asked in a disgusting tone.

“Hey, you asked!” I reminded him.

“What ah was talkin’ about was; didn’t ya forget to thank Crèmepop?” Engie asked.

“Oh that’s right! I should thank her for paying my lunch yesterday. I keep forgetting that schools don’t accept credit cards.” I said.

“Don’t you have money?” Psyche asked.

“I do, but nobody accepts them here. I have money called bits with me, and even though I may change when I’m in another universe, my money doesn’t it would seem.” I said.

“Ah seriously don’t know what ya just said, but y’all need to go to Crèmepop right now, and thank her for provin’ yer innocence.” Engie demanded.

“But, Engie! I need that box though!” I whined.

“DO IT, GIRLY!” Engie ordered.

“Awwww.” I whined as I leaned over to Crèmepop and gave her a hug with an annoyed expression on my face. “Thanks for the help, Crèmepop.” I said with an attitude.

“You’re welcome, Flare!” Crème said as she hugged me back and then gave me a kiss on my cheek. I blushed. I actually didn’t expect that much coming from her right away. “Besides, it was the least I could do for you returning my necklace to me! No one is ever brave enough to stand up to Sunset Shimmer!” Crème said.

“Sunset Shimmer is the least of my concerns, and there’s nothing that she could do to harm me, but Swinebutt on the other hand, I know what he’s capable of. I mean, Sunset is just a school bully, but Swinebutt is a criminal mastermind!” I said.

“Well if you want to chat after school, you can meet me at the lobby by then. We can all hang out, go bowling.” Crème suggested.

“Ok Roman, if you say so.” I teased.

“Also tomorrow I’m heading to the boutique to pick up a new dress for the Fall Formal. We should all go over there and get something special for the occasion.” Crème suggested.

“Now that sounds like a great idea! I could use a good tux. I’m kinda tired of walking around with these annoying pants all day.” I said.

“What you said there was just more awkward than Thundy and I before we went to his cousin’s wedding.” Crystal said. A cutaway shows Crystal wearing a blue and purple striped dress, and she knocks on Thundy’s bedroom door and yells; “Thundy, hurry up! We’re going to be late!”

Thundy opens his door, and he’s wearing the same exact dress as her. “Well this is embarrassing.” He said. “Well one of us is going to have to change.” Crystal just glared at Thunder until he rolled his eyes and said; “Fine, I’ll go put on the orange and yellow polka-dot dress.” The cutaway ends.

Anyways, let’s fast-forward again to tomorrow afternoon. Dundun dundun dun-dundun-dundun… SMASH! That was me pounding a calendar to tomorrow’s date. We skipped through the whole ‘cleaning the gym’ situation because… I wanted to enjoy what other great things this new world has. I’ll explain them later in cutaway gag form. By late afternoon, I was walking with the Noble Six, my sister, and Crème over to the boutique to get ourselves something causal for tonight’s event.

“So Flare, how was your day off?” Crème asked.

“It was awesome! I just found out how to use the toilets around here!” I said excitedly.

“That’s great, Flare! Took me a while as well.” Crystal said.

“So did any of you find Boorlie today?” I asked.

“I did.” Blaze said. “But he was in such a hurry. I chased him throughout the school until I lost him. I saw him have your box. You were right, man. He does have it.”

“Good because I started to have a strange feeling that I could be wrong.” I said.

“So why did he steal your box?” Aqua asked.

“I don’t know for certain, but if I knew the Boorlie back in Ponyville, he’d plan to do is use my box against me. The only way he’ll give it back to me is if I hand over my secret formula.” I said.

“Your secret formula?” Psyche asked.

“Yes, my secret formula for my pizzas! They’re the best pizzas ever, and whatever is the best-tasting obviously has a secret recipe. I never reveal my secret to ANYONE! That’s what makes my food so unique!” I said.

“Since when did you make pizzas?” Blaze asked.

“I own a pizza parlor, that’s the only info I’ll give you!” I said.

“C’mon, Flare! Tell us more!” Crystal begged.

“I wish I could, but you’d think I’m crazy.” I said.

“Regardless, Flare; we’ll always think yer crazy. But we know yer no liar.” Engie said.

“Yeah, Flare! C’mon tell us!” Crèmepop begged.

“He already said no, guys!” Water stood up to me.

“Maybe later I will.” I said as we arrived at the boutique. Once we got inside, we saw the Mane Six all finished getting dressed for the big dance tonight.

“Ah, the Noble Six! I assume you want yourselves some dresses and tuxedos for the big dance!” Rarity said.

“I call that dress!” I said with my hand up. Rarity giggled.

“Hey, Flare? You wanna tell them our little secret?” Twilight asked, winking at me.

“OH NO!” Crème gasped.

“No not that secret!” Twilight giggled.

“No Twilight, I will not tell anybody about the time I got stung by all of Fluttershy’s pet bees, and I played connect the dots with my stings, and I thought I drew a doggie, but it turned out to be a bunch of triangles.” I said.

“You were with my pet bees?” Flutters asked.

“Not you Fluttershy, the alternate you.” Twilight said.

“Wait, Flare, you come from the same place Twilight comes from?” Rainbow asked.

“FLARE IS A PONY PRINCESS TOO?!” Pinkie gasped.

“Ok what is goin’ on here?” Aqua asked.

“Flare, Twilight, Water, and I come from an alternate world of ponies.” Spike explained. “I’m a dragon, Twilight’s a princess, Flare is a stinky pizza shop owner, and Water is the sister of the stinky pizza shop owner.”

“D-did that dog just talk?” Engie asked.

“All dogs talk, Engie. They go ‘woof woof woof’, that counts at talking.” Crystal corrected him.

“OH…. MY….. GOSH!” Pinkie gasped.

“What’s wrong, Pinkie?” Flutters asked.

“Blaze your zipper is down.” Pinkie pointed.

“What?!” Blaze yelled as he blushed and pulled his zipper up. “Sorry about that.”

“So you lied to us again, huh Flare?” Psyche asked.

“Excuse me Psyche, I haven’t lied to you once. I kept talking about how much of a buzzkill you are just like your pony version, so I technically told you where I was from already.” I corrected him.

“Wow! A human that’s actually a pony!” Crystal said, amazed.

“Yep! Livin’ Lyra’s dream!” I said.

“It was my idea to come here!” Water said.

“Wow! Three ponies and a dragon! Sounds pretty awesome if you ask me!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Twilight told us about her life in Equestria, what about you Flare?” Flutters asked.

“I’m the owner of the most famous pizza restaurant in the whole kingdom, sista! Got pretty cool magics too!” I said.

“What sort of magic spells do you know?” Psyche asked.

“Tons! Most of them are from video games though. What your magic spells are is what matches your destinies; a tattoo of some sort that appears on your flank, which is mostly known as a flank tattoo.” I explained.

“Cool!” Rainbow said.

“Flare, you said it wrong! They’re called cutie marks!” Twilight corrected me.

“They don’t know that.” I whispered to her.

“Ooo I love that name cutie mark! It’s so cute!” Rarity said.

“Ehhh, sounds girlie! Flank tattoo sounds better.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, ah agree.” AppleJack said.

“Now hold on! Cutie mark sounds like it makes more sense.” Psyche said.

“Alright, alright! We’ll put it to vote! For those of you who want to call them cutie marks, raise your hands.” I said. Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Psyche, Blaze, Crème, and Crystal all raised their hands. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7; alright 7! Now who votes to have them called as flank tattoos?” Rainbow Dash, AppleJack, Crystal, Spike, Engie, me, Water, and Pinkie raised our hands. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8! Alright, the flank tattoos have it!”

“No fair! Pinkie voted twice!” Crystal whined.

“Did not!” Pinkie argued.

“Wait, someone didn’t vote. Aqua and Fluttershy didn’t vote.” Engie said.

“I find this to be stupid and pointless, and we should be getting’ ready for the dance.” Aqua suggested.

“Right! We should go pick out some outfits for you guys!” Rarity suggested.

“Oooo! Dress up: PART 2!” Pinkie yelled in a high-pitched voice. Just then, the Mane Six were about to sing their This is Our Big Night song, but I cut them off just as they started.

“No, no, no, no! I heard you guys singing before we got inside. We’re singing, and we’re doing it right!” I said. “After all the time I’ve been here, I’ve reached one of my life-long… ok not life-long; short… moderate dreams. Becoming a human! They’re not the crazy apes I thought they were, and I’ll tell you why.”

“He’s gonna rip-off another song. He always does that.” Spike commented.

Just then some jazzy music comes on in the background and I begin to sing something that might seem familiar to you. I started, “A-ba ba-doo do do do doo.” I slapped my legs and started dancing. “Now I’m the king of the pizzas, oh, the restaurant VIP. I’ve reached the top and had to stop, and that’s what’s been botherin’ me.” I started squeezing the Mane Six’s faces and messed with their hair. “I wanna be a man, mancub, and stroll right into town, and be just like the other men, I’m tired of ponying around. Oh, oobee doo…”

“Oobee doo.” My friends sang.

"I wanna be like yoooou!” I sang.

“Oobee dooby-dooby!” the Noble Six sang.

“I wanna walk like you…” I sang.

“Choo!” my friends sang.

“Talk like you, too!” I sang. “You’ll see it’s truuuuue!”

“Shooby-doo.” My friends sang.

“A pone like meeee!” I sang.

“Shooby-dooby-dooby.” My friends sang.

“Can learn to be-he-he hu-human too-woo-woo!” I sang. I started to put my hands near my mouth and played them like a trumpet. Water did the same thing with her hands, but she got waaaaay off-key. I started waving my hands at her, hinting for her to go away, but she ran over to an out of reach place (the woman’s dressing room) and started playing again off-key which really hurt my ears. I had to sing over her, so I started beat-boxing and jumping around.

“Gee, Flare Gun, you’re doing pretty good!” Blaze said.

“Now here’s your part of the deal, cuz.” I said to him as I expanded my ear. “Lay a secret on me on how man’s make fire.”

“Easy, you use a lighter, but fire burns in this world just as much as yours I’m pretty sure.” Blaze said.

“Now don’t try and kid me, mancub,” I sang. “I made a deal with you. What I desire, is man’s red-fire, to make my dream come true. Now gimmie the secret, Goldheart; c’mon, clue me what to do; gimmie the power of man’s red-flower that I can be like you!”

“Fire, huh? So that’s what these ponies are after.” Pinkie whispered to AppleJack.

“Ah highly doubt it, Pinkie.” AppleJack said.

“I’ll tear ‘em limb from limb, and I’ll… wow.” Pinkie said angrily as she stopped and started dancing. “But man, what a beat!”

“Is this what you’ve been wanting this whole time, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked her.

“Just let him do his thing, he’ll tire himself out eventually.” Twilight said.

“Flare Gun sleepy.” I said as I lay down on the ground and closed my eyes.

“Ooooooook.” Psyche said. “If we’re done fooling around, how about we get dressed for the Fall Formal? It’s going to be starting in an hour.”

“Plenty of time!” Engie said.

“Plenty of time?! You need at least two hours to look perfect!” Rarity said.

“I already got a head start, that’s why I’m in here.” Water said from the dressing room. “Hey, does any of you know how to remove this weird thing strapped around my chest?”

Anyways, we all got dressed and got ready for the Fall Formal. I gotta say, we all looked really good, but we’re not just going there to have fun. We have to find Boorlie and find that black box before it’s too late. Can’t believe I wasted a whole day in the human world procrastinating. Oh well, it’s not too late. I still think we’ll be able to find it in time, no worries. Anyways, let’s get this party star-“

“…STARTED!” Bloo the bear cried as he bursts inside the boutique wearing a skirt-dress and coconuts around his mouth.

“You’re late, Bloo.” Crystal notified him.

“Very late.” Engie said.

“Oh… how unfortunate.” Bloo said upsettingly. As I was saying, let’s head ‘em up, move ‘em out. I know I was saying ‘get this party started’ before, but how many times is that quote said by Pinkie?

Author's Note

Originally in this chapter, Flare was going to make the video of Twilight, and then attack Sunset and persuade her into giving him Cremepop's necklace, but I thought later on that it was just too easy. I needed to give Flare a really good reason to work with Sunset Shimmer, so she offered to help him in getting his box back from Swinebutt, and instead of attacking her, Flare works with her the entire time before she betrays him.

This is pretty much the only time Flare has been betrayed by someone and he didn't have a complete meltdown over it. I guess it's because Flare doesn't really know Sunset that well. Another thing different in this chapter is the part where Flare encounters Swinebutt into giving up the box, but he finds out that he doesn't have it. Originally, Flare was going to reunite with the Noble Six first and then encounter Swinebutt, but alone, because Blueberry Pie, Lord Thorn, and Fonz didn't work with him in the original Equestria Brahs. In fact, all three of them didn't have a human version before the remake!

The song at boutique was also different. During a dressing montauge, the Noble Six were gonna sing a parody of 'I Gotta Feeling' by Black Eyed Peas, but since it felt like an awkward parody, I just decided to put in something funnier. Flare sings "I Wanna Be Like You" from Jungle Book because the ape king wants to be human, which is ironic because Flare does too in here, so the reference was perfect!

The Precious!

The Precious!

We all sure looked nice for the big dance! Crystal really wanted to wear the maid dress to the dance, but that type of dress was already taken, and it would be awkward if two people were wearing the same thing. Then again, most of the guys here are going to be wearing the same tuxedo probably. I don’t get the difference between the guys wearing the same tuxedos, and the girls wearing the same dresses. I was actually forced to wear this tux, I think I would’ve looked good in a skirt! As for Spike, he couldn’t at least have a little bowtie? Look how much of a show-off Psyche is with that fancy blue tuxedo with the blue top hat? This is a dance, not a carnival; Psyche doesn’t have to dress like a clown! I dunno why Aqua decided not to wear a tux, and just wear his armor; it gets old seeing the same thing every time you look at him. Well, at least Wind Racer is wearing a cute dress, but not as cute as Crème’s! I’d say Water’s is cute too, but it would seem pretty awkward calling my sister cute unless she was a baby or a pony with big eyes, but we’re not at Equestria anymore, are we? I have to be honest, I actually found Twilight to be the one in the cutest dress. It’s a good thing Crème doesn’t notice me thinking about it, unless she has mind-reading powers like Pinkie Pie or Psyche. The Mane Six went ahead of us since we had to wait for Engie to tie to his shoe. Why did shoe-laces ever get invented? They’re so hard, and they take a long time! That’s why all shoes should be Velcro.

Before we continue on to the last two chapters, we have a few things from our sponsors. Equestria Brahs is brought to you in part by JRY Studios, the creators of the Doctor Whooves and Daring Do voice-series currently on YouTube; Hasbro Inc. the only company that doesn’t impress the bronies more than they do, as the other half of the company only does what they think is best for just the kids; Shroom Films, from the creators of this fanfic, and Scanner-Life and Combine Rampage machinimas; Disney, the company that is probably going to buy-out Hasbro sometime in the near future; Fanfiction.net, because without it, this fanfic wouldn’t exist; Fimfiction.net, if Fanfiction wasn’t enough; Pony Fiction Archive is both wasn’t enough; and contributions to your PBS station by viewers like you! Thank you! Back to the story!

“Wow! I don’t believe this! We’re finally going to the Fall Formal! Can you believe it?” Crystal asked.

“We’ve been going to this Fall Formal for 3 years, Crystal.” Psyche corrected her.

“I know, but it’s too bad this is our last one.” Aqua said.

“Wow, Flare! Ya missed out on so much! Ya should’ve gotten through this universal portal a lot sooner!” Engie said.

“What about human me?” I asked.

“Who?” Engie asked.

“But still, I did experienced high school like I’ve never experienced it before. It’s sad really that I’m going to either be leaving tonight or stuck here for 2 ½ years.” I said.

“My, my! I gotta say you all look so dashing in your outfits!” Crème said.

“That supposed to be a Rainbow Dash joke?” Engie asked.

“Yeah, oh by the way Flare, thanks for buying our clothes for us!” Water said.

“Well, good bowties and tongue ties, 16 dollars; great tuxes, 32 dollars; fancy dresses, 26 dollars; reminding Blaze that his zipper is still down in front of everybody….. priceless!” I said. Blaze groaned as he pulled up his zipper again. “Hey, anything is possible with a Debit Mastercard!”

“So Flare, tell us more about one of your adventures in Equestria!” Crystal requested.

“Aw c’mon, I told you all a bunch already!” I whined.

“C’mon Flare, they’re pretty interestin’. Tell us any.” Aqua requested.

“Alright, alright, if you say so! So there’s this dark-side that Princess Luna has, and her name is Nightmare Moon. She swore to make the night last forever, but luckily, Equestria had somepony like me to save the day!” I said.

“You defeated the dark-side of a pony princess?” Psyche asked.

“Kind of an irony when you say it’s a dark-side of a pony called Nightmare Moon. Ah’d call that: Dark Side of the Moon!” Engie said.

“So how did you defeat her?” Crystal asked.

A cutaway shows Nightmare Moon laughing evilly in front of the whole town, and she yells; “You fools! Nopony can stop me! With my powers, and me as your ruler, I shall make the night last….. FOREVER!”

“Here, Luna! Have a Snickers!” I offered.

“Why should I?” Nightmare Moon asked.

“You tend to feel a little cranky when you’re hungry.” I explained, giving her the snickers, and she takes a bite of it. “Better?” I asked.

“Better.” Luna nodded, turning back to her original self. The gag ends as we get close to the school.

“Here we are, mates. Ready to have some fun, I guess.” Aqua said.

”You guys go ahead, I need to talk to Crèmepop for a sec!” I said.

“Alright! Catch up with us as soon as you can.” Blaze instructed us.

“I will, don’t worry!” I said. “OH, Psyche?”

“Yes, Flare?” Psyche asked.

I punched him in the shoulder and yelled; “BLUE ONE!” As I pointed to an incoming volkswagon beetle, pulling into the school parking lot.

“Nice.” Psyche said sarcastically as he walked to the school with the others.

“So Crème, I have to ask you something personal.” I requested.

“No, Flare, I am not going to share your Facebook page.” Crème said.

“Uhh…. what?” I asked.

“My last boyfriend kept asking me to do that. The only reason I liked him was because he was a Facebook admin.” Crème said.

“Kay kay, but that’s not what I was going to ask you.” I said.

“Then what were you going to ask me?” Crème asked.

“I wanted to ask if you knew this guy named Flash Sentry?” I asked.

“Of course! I see him perform very professionally at music class!” Crème said.

“Well, if Flash Sentry had a series based off of him, I think I already know what it would be about.” I said.

A cutaway gag takes place in mind, with me thinking about Flash Sentry’s series. The animation is more of a comic strip, and a ship flies by real fast in space, with buttons inside that labels certain disasters like tornados and earthquakes, and a voice in the background sings; “FLASH…. SENTRYYYYYYY! Savor of the universe!” The gag ends.

“Seriously, these are just excuses. I know what you’re going to ask me!” Crème said, giving me a smirk.

“Yeah, I know! I’m always too shy to ask a girl to dance with me.” I blushed.

“Hey, I’m ok with it! As long as you’re not in a relationship with anybody else, I don’t find any of this awkward.” Crème said, staring at me. Oh, I wish she didn’t say that! I do have a relationship, but….. I’m in a relationship WITH HER! Well, not her, her. Technically I am, but…. a different her. I’m in a relationship with pony Crèmepop, not human Crèmepop. I don’t know. Does it count as cheating if I have a relationship with an alternate version of my special somepony? Hey, it’s only a dance! Even if it’s someone else, it’s only a dance, nothing else! As long as there’s no kissing involved I should be fine.

“Yeah, I suppose you can say that!” I said. “But the way I wanted to ask you is: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my elbow, doesn’t it look good?”

“Yes it does look nice!” Crème nodded.

“So dance with me maybe?” I asked

“Awesome! Come on, Flarey! Let’s have some fun!” Crème yelled in excitement as she takes grabs my arm (literary, it falls off my body and she carries it inside with her… ok that was a joke, but that would be cool!), and we ran towards the school entrance and inside the building. Boorlie, snuck out from behind the wall and stepped inside the school behind me. Crème and I went inside the gym to meet up with the others. The party has already started and everyone was having a good time! Wow, live music too, huh? Flash Sentry and his band were playing up on stage! Hmm, that gives me an idea of what I should do before I leave, but first thing’s first! I went over to the punch bowl to get myself some punch, but the thing is, the punch was yellow, and it tasted like lemonade. I went to get myself some lemonade, but it was brown and it tasted like iced tea. While Twilight was alone in the corner, I thought this would be a great chance to have a conversation with her.

“Sup sista?” I asked.

”Hey Flare! You having fun?” Twilight asked.

“You bet! Spike, you having fun?” I asked.

“Having fun being stuck inside a backpack throughout the whole party? Yeah, I’m having a blast!” Spike said sarcastically.

“It’s alright, Spike! You can come out now, but stay close.” Twilight said, letting him out of the backpack.

“You mean it?” Spike asked.

“If she didn’t mean it, she wouldn’t be letting you out now, would she?” I reminded him.

“Ahh, fresh air! I can finally stretch!” Spike said as he stretches his legs.

“So, Light, I was wondering; besides looking for your crown and reuniting your friends, did you do anything fun while you were in this universe?” I asked.

“I had this really cool homeroom teacher that Vice-Principal Luna assigned me to!” Twilight said.

A cutaway shows Luna leading Twilight to her home room. She opens the door, and lets her inside. “Twilight this is your homeworld teacher, Starswirl the Frizzled.” Luna said, introducing her to a lady with a big orange hairdo that looked like whip-cream, and she was wearing a dress with stars and planets on them, as well as Saturn earrings, and Spike started walking to the teacher’s pet lizard.

“Oh just call me Ms. Frizzle!” the teacher insisted. “So Twilight, you’re from the pony world, Equestria huh? That gives me a wonderful idea for a field trip!”

”You’re gonna love her fieldtrips, Twilight!” Ralphie said.

“She’s got a magical school bus that takes us to these fantastic places!” Wanda said.

“According to my research, Equestria is from an alternate world similar to this one, except there are no humans what-so-ever, and they use magic, but no fingers.” Dorothy Ann said, reading her book.

“Well, if Twilight was one of the magical ponies, and she’s a human now, she would have the ‘magic fingers’! Get it?” Carlos teased.

“Well, kids! Onto the bus! Time to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!” Ms. Frizzle said.

“I knew I should’ve stayed at home today.” Arnold complained, facepalming himself. The gag ends.

“How about you Flare? Done anything really fun on your trip?” Twilight asked.

“The only productive thing I really did was winning on Wheel of Fortune.” I said. Another cutaway shows me standing next to the host Jim Thornton, right as we came back from commercial break, and I was at the bonus round in the end.

“Alright, Flare! Congratulations on getting yourself to the bonus round!” Jim said.

”Thanks, Jim!” I said.

“Alright, so the category is: Actor and Movie. You’ll need five consentience and a vowel.” Jim said.

“Uhhh….” I thought over which of the letters I should have for this riddle. I picked, “Z… 4….. Q….. another Q…… uhh…. a third Q….. and a batman symbol.”

“Ok, no help there. You have 15 seconds, if you wish to take a shot at it, shout it out.” Jim said.

“Is it Dana Carvey in Master of Disguise?” I asked. Just then, I heard a ding in the background, and the lady near the board placed the letters in, because I had the right answer.

“I don’t believe it!” Jim said, shockingly.

“Oh my Faust, I took a shot in the dirt! Holy Wizard of Strength!” I said, excitedly.

“Ok, you have 1,300 dollars, you can pick out some prizes from our showcase!” Jim said. He showed me all the prizes in the showcase that the show has to offer with some price tags on them.

“Oh wow! What to choose?” I asked myself while looking in the showcase. “I’ll have- Wow, it all looks good! I’ll take the Dart game for 200, and…. wow that TV looks good! I’ll have the coffee machine, and the desk lamp. Hey how much for that ugly red dude in the circle, there’s no price tag on him.”

“That’s you.” Jim said.

“Oh, well that’s embarrassing. I guess I’ll just take the rest on a gift certificate.” I said. The cutaway ends.

“So yeah, I’m pretty much having fun in this trip, Twilight!” I said.

“That’s good!” Twilight said.

“Hey, did you get yourself a Canterlot High cap and sweatshirt?” I asked as I placed the cap on my head.

“No, I didn’t think I needed them.” Twilight said.

“Oh, I’m taking these with me back to Equestria! Little souvenirs to take with me!” I said.

“Alright, that’s good! I’m going to go back dancing for now. Keep an eye out for Sunset Shimmer for me, alright?” Twilight asked.

“She giving you problems too, huh? Well, I’ll try to look out for her. I’m mainly on the look out for Boorlie.” I said.

“Well you have fun with that!” Twilight said as she ran back onto the dance floor. I went inside to dance as well, but I danced my own dances; until it was time for the Cha-Cha Slide or Cupid Shuffle, because all dance parties have those two songs. After a while went by, Principal Celestia arrived on stage to announce the winner of the Fall Formal princess.

“First off, I would like how wonderful everything looks tonight.” Celestia started. “You all did a magnificent job putting it together after the unfortunate events of earlier. And now, without further ado, I’d like to announce this year’s winner of the Fall Formal crown.” Luna started walking towards her with a brown case.

“Oh, me, me! I hope it’s me!” I begged.

“Ah wouldn’t put yer hopes up Flare. All ya did was sign up for the thing, but you didn’t put any consideration in any of it, and therefore, nobody can vote for someone they don’t even know exists.” Engie explained.

“Thanks for giving me a positive attitude, brah. I’ll be sure to thank you in my next speech when I run for school president.” I said sarcastically.

“The winner of this year’s fall formal is…..” Celestia started, while taking the winner out of the envelope. “TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” Everyone cheered as Twilight won her crown back, but wasn’t her win obvious from the beginning?

“You know what, if I won second prize, I think that would be ok too.” I said. Twilight walked over on stage to retrieve her crown.

“Congratulations, Twilight.” Celestia said as she placed the crown on Twilight’s head. Just as Twilight was waving at us from up stage, Spike started crying for help. Twilight ran off stage to go rescue him from Snails and Snips, her friends went to rescue her. I couldn’t just let them go alone, so I started running towards the door, but Blaze stopped me.

“Whoa, whoa, brah! Where do you think you’re going?” Blaze asked.

“Spike’s my bro! I can’t just let them take him!” I said.

“It’s kinda odd calling a dog your bro.” Crystal said.

“Ooooh, Flaaaaare? Looking for this?” Boorlie called out from the door on the other side of the gym, holding my black box out.

“TINY BOX TIM! Or, wait, no… umm… what was I- MY BOX!” I yelled. Boorlie ran out into the hallway and I started to chase him, and my friends followed me.

“Hey, what happened to Spike? I thought you were going to save him?” Crystal asked.

”Twilight will handle that! THAT’S MY LOST BOX! STOP RIGHT THERE, BOORLIE!” I yelled. Boorlie just continued running.

“NO RUNNING IN THE HALLWAYS!” the dalek hall monitor ordered us, but we all just ran pass the dalek and as we ran pass him, he was spinning around after the impact of our running affects him. “ALERT! ALERT! Losing control! Losing control!”

We continued chasing Boorlie until he ran outside and the doors shut right in front of us. I started knocking on the door. Knock, knock, knock; “Boorlie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Boorlie?” Knock, knock, knock; “Boorlie?”

“QUIT KNOCKING, THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED!” Psyche yelled.

“Oh.” I said as I pushed the doors opened which led to the side of the school. Boorlie was standing next to some sort of cannon and placed my box inside.

“HAND OVER THE BOX, BOORLIE!” I yelled.

“Take one false move and I shoot your precious box into the lake! It’ll take you forever to find it, and you’ll never make it to the portal in time to return to Equestria!” Boorlie said.

“Don’t worry, mate. We got your back.” Aqua said.

“No need….. that box is worth more to me than anything in the world. What do you want, Boorlie?” I asked.

“If you want your box back so bad, then you must do the honors in handing me over your secret recipe!” Boorlie demanded.

“Wait… so you’re the PONY Boorlie Pomodoro then!” I said.

“Right on, lad!” Boorlie said.

“So where’s human Boorlie?” I asked.

“Taken care of.” Boorlie said. Meanwhile, human Boorlie tied up and locked inside the janitor’s closet. He was moaning and groaning as he struggled to get out of there. Just then, the janitor Discord opens the door and throws his broom inside. “See you next week.” Discord said to Boorlie as he locks him in again. I guess some things never change.

“Now then… you going to hand over your secret recipe, Crimson? Or do you not want to see your precious box again?” Boorlie asked. “It’s your call.”

“Your secret recipe? No, Flare! Don’t do it! Think of your business!” Blaze said.

“You want my secret recipe, huh Boorlie?” I asked.

“Just give it to me, and I promise I will return your box.” Boorlie said. “And probably stop Sunset Shimmer from smashing the portal over there.” We looked over and we saw Sunset Shimmer negotiating with the Mane Six while carrying a giant hammer, and looking like she’s going to smash the portal.

“Flare, the portal!” Engie yelled.

“Oh I’m not worried about that. If Sunset plans on destroying the portal, she’ll have to think of a less-stupider way than a hammer.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Crystal asked.

“The hammer is just going to go right through the portal. I mean it’s made of liquid and hammers don’t effect liquid.” I said.

“He’s right.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, trust me! Shining Armor taught me everything he knows about liquid!” I said.

A cutaway shows pony Shining Armor using some sort of shaving gel to shave his face, and then once he steps out of his bathroom, Cadance comes by and touches his face. When he arrives outside, many mares come by to touch his face as well. He looks at the camera and says; “That’s the power of Liquid Pride shaving gel, baby! Made of 100% manly tears to get rid of the unwanted hairs in your face; so now I’ll look as handsome as I can be for my sister’s coordination!” He winks at the camera and the cutaway ends.

“The choice is yours, Crimson! What’s it gonna be?” Boorlie asked.

“Did he just call you Crimson?” Psyche asked.

“UGH! My one chance of going to a place where nobody needs to know my first name! Now everyone’s going to say it!” I complained.

“Don’t worry, nobody’s going to say it, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Alright, Boorlie. You win.” I said as I reached into my jacket pocket for my secret formula.

“Yes! Excellent! You made the right choice, Flare! Just remember, this ain’t personal; it’s just business.” Boorlie said.

“Yeah, whatever.” I said with an attitude, taking out a scroll from my pocket that contains my secret recipe.

“Flare, don’t do this! Whatever is in that box, I promise we’ll work hard to get it back! Just don’t throw away your business like this, man!” Blaze begged.

“Blaze, just shut up and pull up your zipper already.” I instructed him in an annoyed tone. Blaze looked down, and he pulled up his zipper again.

“FLARE, NO!” Crèmepop yelled running outside with my sister, Candy Cotton, Black Thunder, and Wind Racer.

“It’s too late! Flare is giving me the key to having the best business in all of Equestria! Well done, Flare! Well done!” Boorlie said as I walked over to him, and handing him my formula. “A promise is a promise.” Boorlie said as he gives me back my box.

“Oh wow, I thought he was going to break that promise!” Water said.

“I’m only after his business, not his personal life. Thank you for your time, Flare! I bid you farewell!” Boorlie said as he started walking towards the portal.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” Swinebutt yelled as he pushed his machine outside the school. “BOORLIE POMODORO, YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!”

“My business here is complete, Porky! I shall return to Equestria and become the owner of the kingdom’s greatest restaurant chain!” Boorlie said.

“No, you are not! You double-crossed me and you shall pay the price!” Swinebutt promised.

“Was that a threat?” Boorlie asked.

“No, it’s a promise.” Swinebutt said.

“Uhh, Flare? I was just wondering, what is in that box?” Blaze asked.

“Well, since you guys aren’t going to know later, I might as well show you it.” I said. I placed my fingers on top of the box, and slowly opened it, which inside was revealed to be a shiny diamond.

“What is that?” Crystal asked.

“It looks like a pound diamond! How can you afford this?” Psyche asked.

“If you love a pony more than anything in the world, then you’d sacrifice much of your funding to buy something like this, to show that you truly care for them.” I said.

“A POUND DIAMOND?!” Swinebutt yelled.

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Boorlie yelled looking inside my scroll. “FLARE YOU TRICKED ME! This is NOT your secret recipe!”

“Yeah, I know. It’s my shopping list from last Saturday! Oooo, I am so bad!” I teased Boorlie.

“GIMMIE BACK THAT DIAMOND!” Boorlie yelled as he tackled me, and the box dropped out of my hand. Crystal picked up the diamond and took a good look at it.

“Oooo, shinny!” Crystal said.

“AFTER THAT DIAMOND!” Boorlie yelled as Swinebutt’s collection of spiderbots started charing towards Crystal, and climbing on her legs.

“HEY! Those are my bots, Boorlie! You reprogrammed them on me?!” Swinebutt asked.

“I couldn’t take any risks, Porky! The alternative version of you from Equestria betrayed me, and I know for a fact that you would do the same!” Boorlie said.

“Well, you ain’t as much of an idiot as I thought.” Swinebutt said. “FONZ, BLUEBERRY, THORN, GET OUT HERE!” Just then, it was just Blueberry and Fonz that runs outside and runs over to Swinebutt. “Wait a minute, where’s Lord Thorn?”

Meanwhile back inside the school, the dalek hall monitor captures Lord Thorn. “You are under arrest for selling illegal school hardware. Punishment: one hundred, million-thrillion years in detention!” the dalek said.

“So you’re saying even when I graduate I have to come back here every evening for detention?” Lord Thorn asked.

“Yes!” the dalek said.

“Well that violates the school contracts.” Lord Thorn said.

“I am a dalek! I do not obey contracts; I only obey superior daleks!” the dalek said.

Back outside, Psyche runs over and holds his hands in the air and he cries, “CRYSTAL! HEADS UP!” Crystal threw my box over to Psyche and he caught it. The spider bots all started charging at Psyche, but then Psyche threw the box over to Aqua, and Aqua threw it to Engie, and Engie threw it to Blaze, but one of the bots grabbed the diamond out of Blaze’s hand and started running away. Fonz and Blueberry ran over and tried to snatch it, but all they were able to do was bump right into eachother. Just then, Water jumped on one of the bots, and tried to take the box back, but another bot snatched the box, and it started getting closer to Boorlie.

“Look out! We got a blanket!” Wind Racer yelled.

“Ehhh, pretty diamond!” Thunder said as his eye pupils were rolling around his sockets. Thundy and Wind Racer were holding a big blanket across from eachother, and Candy leaned back from the blanket, and she was launched towards the diamond like a sling-shot. Candy catches the blanket, and lands on the ground.

“GOT IT!” Candy said, but then Blueberry snatches it from her.

“I’ll take that!” Blueberry said as she runs off.

“HEY!” she whined.

“I got it, baby! I got it!” Blueberry yelled to Swinebutt, but then, one of the spider bots suddenly snatched it from her. “I don’t got it!”

The bot was getting closer to Boorlie, but Crèmepop comes by steps on the bot, SQUISH, and snatches it.

“I’ll be taking that!” Crème said. “FLARE! CATCH!” Crème throws the box at me. I suddenly took out a baseball glove and started running to it.

“I GOT IT! I GOT IT!” I yelled. I saw the box was being thrown pretty far away, and it started going towards the bleachers full of students cheering at the action. “OH NO! You are not getting out of this park! That OUT is mine!” I yelled. I then jumped in the air in super slow-mo, as the box was almost over the bleachers, but I was able to catch the box, and I got it back. “OUT!” I yelled as a buzzard buzzed in the background, and the people in the bleachers were cheering.

“Boorlie is out! Noble Six win the game!” the announcer cried.

“I’ll take that!” Swinebutt said, snatching the box out of my hand.

“HEY!” I yelled.

“Finally! A pound diamond! Just what I need to power up my machine!” Swinebutt laughed evilly and snorted as he took out the diamond from the box, and placed it in the machine.

“Swinebutt, that ain’t yours! Give it back!” I demanded.

“Well, Boorlie! I thank you for your help in retrieving this diamond for me! For that, I’ll let you go.” Swinebutt said.

“Not without my secret recipe!” Boorlie yelled.

“Forget it, Boorlie! I left the recipe safely at home! You lost!” I said.

“Yeah, well, YOU DOOMED ALL OF EQUESTRIA, FLARE GUN!” Boorlie yelled.

“Wait, what does he mean, doomed all of Equestria?” Water asked.

“With this machine, I can create anything into an all-powerful demon!” Swinebutt said. “I’ve been working with ol Sunset Shimmer over there and with combined with that Element of Harmony she has, I can turn her into the most powerful demon that’s ever lived!”

“You talking about the Cyberdemon from Doom, or the Spider Mastermind?” Engie asked.

“I got the machine working, Sunset! Place the crown on your head!” Swinebutt said through a walkie-talkie, and then he started up the machine, and just right before Sunset Shimmer placed the crown on her head, Swinebutt fires the cannon of his machine over to Twilight’s crown, and then Sunset Shimmer started changing. “HA! It worked! With Sunset as my main line of offense, she’ll use the students of the school, and I’ll use my spider-bots so we can invade Equestria and take over!”

“Why would you want Equestria?” I asked.

“If I help Sunset take over Equestria, she can help me take over this world! Who wants a girly ol pony world? I mean really?” Swinebutt asked.

“Ah was kinda thinkin’ that myself.” Engie said.

“Now, we must use the cannon to stop the moon from moving, so the portal will stay opened!” Swinebutt said.

“Not on ya life sport.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, what you’re doing is wrong, Swinebutt!” Blaze yelled.

“Give Flare his diamond back, or you’ll be sorry!” Psyche yelled.

“What’s threatening gonna do? He’s not going to listen.” Crystal said.

”She’s right you know.” Swinebutt said as he started pushing more buttons on his machine. I was about to go and attack him, but then, Fonz and Blueberry along with some of Swinebutt’s spider-bots that still obey to him (it’s still a lot of them), and they started running towards us, surrounding us, and then they grew bigger, and they took out their guns and aimed them at us.

“Whoa, didn’t see that coming!” Psyche said.

“And now, Crimson! My spider-bots will escourt you back to your world. We don’t need two Flares here, or two Boorlies for that matter.” Swinebutt said.

“Well that’s just harsh.” Boorlie complained.

“Aww great, he’s calling me Crimson now!” I complained.

“ALL UNITS! SEIZE THEM!” Swinebutt yelled.

“YOU WON’T TAKE ME ALIVE! ARMOR LOCK!” I yelled as I crouched onto the ground, with my fist pounding on it with my eyes closed. Everyone just stood there looking at me awkwardly as I was trying to perform my armor lock spell.

“FLARE! Quit fooling around! You don’t have any magic anymore, remember?” Blaze reminded me.

“Oh…… right…. rummer.” I said, getting back up.

“GET YOUR CANNONS READY!” Swinebutt ordered his drones.

“Well, guys….. I guess this is it.” Aqua said.

”Yeah, we had a lot of fun didn’t we?” Engie asked.

“A lot of conflicts, all because someone tricked us, and we went straight to conclusions.” Psyche said.

“I don’t believe this! I’ve always wanted to marry Rainbow Dash, and have a brilliant daughter; which whom I think I’ll name Rose!” Blaze said.

“I’ve never been able to become a ballerina while at the age of 26, and spending my days eating hot dogs for breakfast!” Crystal confessed. We all just looked at Crystal confusingly. “What? It’s what I’ve dreamed of doing!”

“You know what? I think if it like this! I think we should be lucky of what we’ve been through!” I said. “I was living the dream! I was able to experience high school like I never experienced it before, I was able to insert my fingers in between donuts because I always wanted to do that, and I’ve always been able to win a dart set on Wheel of Fortune, and I was able to slap was someone in the face if they annoyed me!”

“Alright Flare, we get it! Just get to the point!” Psyche complained.

“But you know what the best part was? I got to befriend you dudes and dudet all over again, and if that isn’t a dream come true, I don’t know what is.” I said.

“Ok, we realize ya happy about dying, but that doesn’t exactly help us out.” Aqua said.

“Alright, enough of this touching moment! Say your prayers, Noble Six!” Swinebutt said. We all held eachother tight, and Crèmepop, Water, and the other students just stood there, frightened. “Oh and Blaze? Pull up your zipper before you die.” Swinebutt suggested.

Blaze looked down and pulled up his zipper again. “I gotta get this thing fixed!” he said.

Ready…” Swinebutt started.

“Ooooh…” Crystal started.

…...aim…… “ Swinebutt continued.

“…SNAP!” Crystal yelled.

“Ah can’t believe yer gonna order your bots to shoot us! How harsh!” Engie complained.

“I thought you were gonna take me back to my world?!” I complained.

“Aww pipe down, I’m a harsh one.” Swinebutt said. “NOW PRPEARE FOR YOUR DOOM!” We all held eachother tight again, as we prepare for our doom, but then something went wrong, and Swinebutt ordered his units to stand down. “Hang on, hang on! Hold your fire! There’s something going on with Sunset Shimmer!”

“Oh lookie there, the Mane Six are all… umm… I dunno what they’re doing.” Water said.

“Me neither. Any of you know what that is?” Wind Racer asked. Everyone shook their heads.

“You’re from the pony world, Flare, what is it?” Psyche asked.

“Ok first of all, it’s called Equestria, not ‘pony world’.” I corrected him. “Second, how am I supposed to know what Twilight and her friends do on their free time? I barely spend time with all of them at once.”

“Sunset Shimmer, what is going on?!” Swinebutt asked through her walkie-talkie, and the only response he got was her screaming. “I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.” Swinebutt responded as Sunset Shimmer started screaming again. Swinebutt turns to us and asks, “Can any of you understand scream?”

“I listen to death metal.” Candy said as she raised her hand.

Just then, a beam of light from Twilight’s element was reacting to the power station of Swinebutt’s machine where my diamond is supposed to be, and the machine started to malfunction. “W-what’s going? What happening to my machine?!”

“I have no clue, Engie you have a clue?” I asked.

“Whatever Twilight and them are doin’ over there is somewhat reactin’ to the machine, but ah don’t know what.” Engie said. The machine continued to malfunction; it all started to spark, and blow steam. Once the rainbow that the Mane Six created hit Sunset Shimmer, she lost her power, and around the same time, Swinebutt’s machine created a shockwave, which disabled all of Swinebutt’s spider-bots. We were all safe at last.

“NO! My machine! My plan!” Swinebutt yelled.

“Just be lucky nobody saw that, Swinebutt. Everyone is paying attention to Sunset’s defeat, not yours. If you’re lucky, everyone won’t notice your true colors, and you can change.” I said.

“Sunset’s defeat won’t be the end of me! Even though the portal to Equestria will be closing soon, it will not make me give up! You just wait, Crimson Flare Gun! I’ll be back!” Swinebutt said and snorted.

”Brah, I already have your alternative you to worry about.” I said.

“In that case, I hope that Dr. Swinebutt will be your downfall.” Swinebutt said as he turned around and ran off. He snorted non-stop as he ran away.

“Yeeeeeah, I’m gonna go now too.” Fonz said as he ran off.

“Hey wait up! I can’t run in these heels!” Blueberry yelled as she just jogged off, not ran.

“Well that’s the end of that.” Psyche said.

“Hey, where’s Boorlie?” Aqua asked. I turned around and we saw Boorlie jumping through the portal and fleeing the scene as nobody was looking. I turned around and looked at Swinebutt’s destroyed machine, and I opened the power box, and my diamond was still in one peace.

“Oh good, your diamond is ok!” Engie said.

“Mine! It’s mine! My….. precious!” I said in a creepy Hobbit voice.

“Flare…. is that a…. wedding ring?” Crème asked.

“Yes, it is a wedding ring, for a very special somepony.” I said.

“So all this time you had a relationship! I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!” Crème yelled.

“Now, Crèmey, let me explain! The wedding ring is for the pony you; it’s for when I’m finally ready! I’ve been dating her for a while, and I find her to be very promising. I was just saving this ring for the day that I finally have the guts to ask her.” I said.

“I’m not getting you.” Crème said.

“This ring is for you, Crèmepop, but…. not for YOU; it’s for the Crèmepop in Equestria.” I said. “All of you have alternative yous back in Equestria. Why else was I so interested in all of you?”

“It all makes sense now.” Aqua said.

“And the reason you came here is to get that back for her?” Water asked. “Flare, that is so sweet!”

“Just don’t tell her, alright?” I asked.

“Wait, aren’t ya a little young to be married?” Engie asked.

“In this world, I’m 18, but in Equestria, I’m 26.” I said.

“So even the ages change when you cross-worlds?” Psyche asked.

“It explains why I saw Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo here in high school, because in my world, they’re like 10-12 years old.” I said.

“Fascinating! I’ll have to put that in my research.” Psyche said. I turned around, and we all ran over to the aftermath of the Sunset Shimmer battle.

“What did we miss?” Aqua asked.

"Aww Twilight, you got your wings back! Ugh! Just as I was getting used to you not having them!" I complained.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Flare." Twilight said.

“Rainbow?! Do you have wings?” Blaze asked.

“I know! Isn’t it awesome?” Rainbow asked.

“It sure is! How did you get wings?” Blaze asked.

“I don’t know! It’s just some sort of ‘friendship magical power’, but I couldn’t get any of that.” Rainbow said.

“It’s the Elements of Harmony. Since these five are actually my friends from our world, just in different form, and different minds, the power of friendship is still inside them; and it connected to my element here.” Twilight explained.

“That explains why Swinebutt’s machine broke.” I said.

“Say what?” Engie asked.

“Flare, we didn’t even see what you and Swinebutt were up to. I just see the wreckage from here, and it looks like you had quite an adventure yourself!” Twilight said.

“I sure did; but what I’m saying is, that this diamond ring I got was actually made by one of the destroyed Element stones that Nightmare Moon destroyed before you defeated her. Some of its power was still inside.” I said.

“Yeah, I mean the Elements in my library were made by my friends, but I had no idea that there was still some magic in the destroyed stones.” Twilight said.

“Well, learned so much today, huh Twilight?” AppleJack asked.

“So we ready to go home yet?” Water asked.

“I already promised Flash Sentry that dance I promised him.” Twilight said.

“Aww, you’re leaving?” Crystal asked.

“That sucks, man! We had a great time together!” Blaze said.

“I know, I know, it was very fun while it lasted, but this is how it’s gonna be. The moon is going to be out of line with those stars in around 45 minutes or so.” I said.

“You sure those are stars, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“I dunno, Twilight are those stars?” I asked her.

“Luna said those are stars.” Twilight said.

“They got flashing red lights.” AppleJack pointed out.

”Oh my Faust, THOSE ARE PLANES! I told you that yesterday, Twilight!” Spike complained.

“So, Flare, since ya going soon, is there anything ya wanna do before ya leave?” Aqua asked.

“Actually, Aqua; there is one thing I want us to do before I leave.” I said. “I only done this once before with the pony Noble Six, and now… maybe this will give you an idea to start up a school band or something.”

Author's Note

Check out the title of this chapter! Did you read the chapter and find out what's inside the box? Get the reference? Huh? Do ya? Do ya? Huh? Do ya? Tell me you do! :D

Polka Your Eyes Out

We all went back into the gym to continue on with the party. Twilight was dancing with Flash, the CMCs were having their dance together, and yeah, we were all having so much fun! I was chatting with my friends, and since it’s almost time for us to go, I wanted us to do one more thing together before Twilight, Water, Spike, and I leave. Water went over to Flash Sentry and whispered in his ear, and Crèmepop did the same to Vinyl Scratch. It was time to prepare for our big conclusion show.

Vinyl Scratch stopped the music and said; “Attention, everyone? Attention? We’re all having a great night tonight, but before our star students from another world will leave back home, the Noble Six have one little performance to share with you, and they say this performance will…. polka your eyes out.” Vinyl turned over to Crème and asked, “Is that what you said?”

“It’s what he said.” Crème said.

“I don’t get it. How is it a ‘that’s what he said’ joke?” Vinyl asked. She then turns to her mic and said to everyone else, “So without further ado, we have Flash Sentry and his band getting Flare’s group warmed up, so they can share their little musical number. Hit it when ready, Flash!”

Flash Sentry and his band started playing the first verse of Cradle of Love by Billy Idol, and everyone in the gym started cheering and screaming for him and his group, but before his group could continue, I danced onto the stage from behind the curtain and started playing my accordion, and Flash and his band got a little surprised and stopped playing. Engie marched on stage too playing a trumpet, and Crystal pushes the drummer out of the way and she took over, and Blaze came in playing the clarinet, and Aqua came with a banjo and Psyche started dancing on stage with a slide-whistle, a rubber duck, a horn, and a dentist drill. Time for us to show this school the power of polka! So we started singing random songs by different artists, but in a polka melody. As we started singing, the whole crowd got silenced and confused.

“HEY!” I shouted as I started to sing and played my accordion and Psyche let’s out a little blow from his kazoo. “Rock the cradle of love! Rock the cradle of love! Yes, the cradle of love! Don’t rock easy, it’s true! Rock the cradle of love! I rocked the cradle of lo-oh-uh-oh-ove! Yes, the cradle of love! Don’t rock easy, it’s tru-ue!”

As we played my favorite part of the WAY Moby Polka (dun-dun-dun, dun-dundun-dun. Dun-dun-dun, dun-dundun-dun.), Twilight and Flash noticed Pinkie dancing to the song, as well as the CMCs, and the dalek hall monitor was too there, spinning around. “What is this I’m doing? I must need maintenance!” the dalek yelled. So Twilight and Flash just shrugged and danced along as we continued. Wait how did Flash get down there? He was just up here with us.

“Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo.” Engie sang as his head just floated there in a colorful background (with the help of digital effects), and then Engie’s head multiplies into three heads, and they start shaking as they sang with triple the voice, “Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo.”

“The Love Shack, is a little old place where, we can get together!” Crystal sang as he grab a loopy Black Thunder from the audience and takes him on stage, and takes him to a stage prop that looks like a shack and it says ‘Love Shock’ on it (that’s no typo, we made it that way because Crystal just shocked Thunder by giving him so many kisses on his face). “Love shack, baby!”

“Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!” the Noble Six sang.

“HEY!” Crystal shouted as the shack falls apart, and it shows Crystal on top of Thunder with kiss marks all over his face.

As we share an upbeat polka instrumental moment with cheering and slide-whistles playing in the background, Blaze hops onto a sling shot with a bird outfit on, and he crashes into a bunch of blocks with green pigs on them. Blaze then gets up and sings his part.

“Pump up the jam!” Blaze sang.

“HEY!” the Noble Six yelled.

“Pump up the jam!” Blaze sang.

“HEY!” the Noble Six yelled.

“Pump up the jam, pump it up!” Blaze sang.

Aqua then sang his part as he sat in the corner of the stage while holding his legs. “That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spot… light, losing my religion!” Aqua rips his necklace off his neck and throws it on the ground as we walks in the middle of the stage dramatically. “Trying to keep… a view; and I don’t know if I can do it!

“OH NO!” the Noble Six shouted.

“I saaaaid toooo much!” Aqua sang. “I haven’t set enough!”

“The things, you say; your purple prose just gives away the things, you say!” Psyche sang. “You’re unbelievable!”

“OOOOOH!” the Noble Six yelled.

“Do me, baby!” I sang as Engie and I all were facing the audience using only one microphone. Much like the full opening of Two and a Half Men (when it was still good). Engie and Blaze sang ‘ahhh woo’ as I sang my parts. “Do me baby!” I sang.

Just then, all three of us sang as we looked at eachother, and then faced the opposite way, and then he tilted our heads from side to side. “You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night, you can do me when you wanna do me!”

I then stood on top of a mountain in the distance in dusk and I shouted, “Yodel-lady-hooo!”

“Exit light!” Blaze sang as the skybox changes from day to night as the moon and the sun glided by the sky. “Enter night!” We then all held our hands to the audience. “Take my hand!” Just then, Aqua, Psyche, and I started flying on top of the stage with their hands out like in Peter Pan, but while wearing fake wings. “Off to never-never land!” Psyche’s fake wings detach from him as he falls near Crystal who was wearing sunglasses and started tapping on the symbols of her drum in an all jazz-style beat.

“Chaaaaaaa!” Psyche whispered. We all start snapping our fingers, and Engie starts playing the tuba.

“The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump!” Crystal sang as the music stops right after. “Do me baby!” Two beats. “Do the Humpty Hump!” Two beats. “Do the Humpty Hump!” Jazz-music starts playing again as Crystal starts pelvic thrusting. “Do me, baby! Do the Humpty Hump! Come on! Do the Humpty Hump!” The music starts to gain that polka upbeat again.

“She’s my cherry pie!” Engie sang. “Put a smile on your face…. ten miles wide!” Engie’s mouth suddenly expands beyond human. “Look so good make a grown man cry!” Engie then looks over at a cherry pie at a table beside him and he sings, “Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi! WOO!”

“DRUM SOLO!” I yelled on the mic as Crystal started playing on the drums real hard, and the audience started cheering really loud. Engie threw the cherry pie at the audience and it slammed into Soarin’s face.

“Hey! It’s apple pie I like, not cherry pie! Get it right!” Soarin yelled. Crystal continued to beat on her drums real punk-like, and once she finished we continued the song. Aqua sang next as Psyche and I were in the background dancing with top hats and canes.

“I miss ya so much!” Aqua sang.

“M-O-I miss you so much!” Psyche and I sang.

“I really miss ya much!” Aqua sang.

“M-I-S-S you so much!” Psyche and I sang.

“I miss ya so much!” Aqua sang.

“M-O-I miss you so much!” Psyche and I sang.

“I really miss ya much!” Aqua yelled as he faces the camera real close. “HEY!” he shouts as the camera minimizes to show Psyche and I on both sides of him, dancing, and singing along with him.

“I don’t want, anybody else!” all three of us sang.

“When I think about ya-“ Aqua sang by himself.

“I HUG MYSELF!” all three of us sang as Psyche and I both hugged ourselves.

“Ooooh!” Aqua sang.

“I don’t want, anybody else!” Psyche and I sang as we started kick-dancing and held our hats and twirled our canes.

“Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no!” Aqua sang as it looked like he was pleading.

“He’s the one they call…” Psyche started.

“Dr. Feelgood!” the Noble Six sang.

“He’s the one that makes you feel-“ Psyche sang as he winked at the audience.

“Alright!” the Noble Six sang as the ladies scream for Psyche.

“He’s the one they call…” Psyche sang as he was wearing a doctor’s outfit and using his stethoscope on a Frankenstein’s heart.

“Dr. Feelgood!” the Noble Six sang.

“He’s gonna be your Frankenstein!” Crystal sang as he got up from the doctor bed while wearing a Frankenstein outfit and she started walking like Frankenstein.

“Let’s kick it!” I yelled.

Engie starts playing the tuba again as we all start snapping our fingers. “If you got a problem-“ I started.

“YO!” the Noble Six yelled.

“I’ll solve it; check out the beat while the DJ resolves it!” I yelled.

All six of us start dancing by a background that changes colors as he wore top-hats and canes, and we all started singing, “Ice ice baby!” we dance by once. “Ice ice baby!” we dance by again.

“WORD TO YOUR MOTHER!” I yelled as I popped up in front of the camera.

“Ice ice baby!” all of the Noble Six sang as they too pop out in front of the camera from below while holding up drinks with ice in them.

Just then, three giant ice cube fall in the colorful background, and each ice cube fell as we said the word ‘ice’ in the next part. We then all climbed on top of the ice cubes, but then Aqua slips and falls. “Ice ice baby forever!” we all sang.

Our conclusion of the song, with all six of us on stage, just waving our hands up. “I’ll be your iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice, iiiiiiiiiice, babyeeeeeeeeeeee!” we all sang as we all start dancing, kicking our legs, and holding our hats and spinning our canes. I kept shouting eeeeeeeeeee that comes after ‘baby’ as the rest of the Noble Six sang in the background, “Ice ice baby! Ice ice baby! Ice ice baby!” Dunna-dun dunna-dun, dunna-dundun-dundun. “HEY!” we all shouted as the polka ends. I think you’d enjoy that polka a bit more if you actually heard the song and then included my narration of detail of what we did during it. That’s why I love listening to them. It was called Polka Your Eyes Out.

The whole audience cheers as we conclude our polka song. We all wave at the audience, and they start throwing flowers at us. Crystal flinches as the roses get thrown at her, and she yells; “Hey! Don’t throw stuff at me! That not nice!”

“THAT’S RIGHT CANTERLOT HIGH! THE POWER OF POLKA COMPELS YOU!” I yelled. “THE POWER OF POLKA COMPELS YOU!”

“Alright, let’s go!” Water said with an attitude as she walked on stage, grabbed my tux jacket and drags me outside.

“HEY! The same rule applies to this world! Don’t grab my clothes!” I demanded.

And so, we were all were standing outside, and we were about to say our goodbyes. It was a sad moment though. “Don’t leave, Flare! We’re your friends! You can’t abandon us!” Crystal begge, as she was holding my legs.

“Hey, he’ll be back, won’t you Flare?” Blaze asked.

“Of course I will…. in another 30 months.” I said.

“Well, when that time comes, we’ll be here waitin for ya.” Aqua said.

“I just don’t believe it all went by so fast! I rather enjoyed being a human!” I said. “But you know, I can’t your alternate yours in Equestria, now can I?”

“Yeah well, easy come easy go, right?” Engie asked.

“Hey, without you, I got nobody to call me buzzkill!” Psyche said.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, brah! You already know you’re a buzzkill, you don’t need me to remind you!” I said, smiling at him, and he smiled back.

“Just take care of yourself, man.” Blaze said. “I hope pony Blaze Goldheart will make sure you stay safe.”

“I’m pretty sure he will! With his phoenix powers, and his dragon senses, I should be alright!” I said.

“Aww man, I wish I was that Blaze! Being a draconian with phoenix powers sounds so cool!” Blaze complained.

”Hey, I love you just the way you are, Goldheart!” Rainbow Dash said as she gave him a hug. “Also, pull up your zipper, it’s embarrassing.”

”WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY ZIPPER?! SHEESH!” Blaze complained as he pulls up his zipper again.

“You won’t forget about us will you, Flare?” Flutters asked.

“PLEASE FLARE! DO NOT FORGET ABOUT US!” Pinkie yelled.

“Hush now, you two! We’re already in his world.” AppleJack said.

“You sure are!” I nodded. “But still, you’re all different to me! I got to be friends with all of you all over again, and I shall never forget it! Except you Twilight, and you Spike, and you Water.”

“Oh real nice, Flare!” Water chuckled.

“Good luck, Water! Take care of yourself!” Wind Racer said.

“Flare, wait!” Crème yelled as she ran towards me. “I know you have a someone special back at home, but just remember one thing.”

“And what is that, Crèmey?” I asked.

Crème grabbed my jacket and started threatening me. “You BETTER take good care of her, you understand? You break pony me’s heart, I’ll END YOU! You hear me?!”

“Hands off the jacket, sista! But alright, I understand loud and clear.” I said. Crème pulls me close to her and starts to smooch me. Once she was done she let go, and backed away slowly with tears in her eyes. “But before I go there’s still one more question I have to ask.” I said, but before I could say it, we all hear a loud roar in the background, as a giant brown dragon started flying down and lands near us.

“Hey Winona!” AppleJack said as the dragon who appears to be Winona licks her face. “Ah’ll be home in a little bit, sugarcube! Wait for me!”

“Well, Flare! I guess you jinxed that.” Spike said.

“So long, brahs!” I yelled, waving at everyone. “Feel dat Mareami heat, and praise the Wizards!” Water and I stepped through the portal and our friends waved goodbye as we stepped through.

”Duuuh, where’s that cherry pie?” Thunder asked, still loopy. Just then Crystal took Sunset Shimmer’s mallet and smashed Thunder in the head with it. “WHOA! What? What just happened? Crystal, what’s going on?” Thunder asked her, returning to normal, but not remembering what happened.

“It’s a long story, Thundy!” Crystal giggled. “It’s a long story!” So my friends left the scene as Twilight started saying goodbye to her friends. Water and I then returned to Equestria where all our pony friends were waiting for us. I zoomed out of the portal, and landing on Psyche as we got out.

“Wow! This hyperspace ride was different! It had the Doctor Who theme song instead of Big Bang Theory.” I said.

“Flare! You’re alright!” Blaze yelled feeling relieved as he gave me a hug.

“FLAREY!” Crème cried in excitement as she too ran over and hugged me.

”So you were there the whole time, huh partner?” Engie asked.

“Does anypony even care about Water? How about welcoming her back?” Crystal asked.

“It’s a thrill to have ya back, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, I’m crying over here.” Psyche said sarcastically. “Flare, will you please get off of me?” I stood up and I helped Psyche up.

“What took you so long, Flare? Why did you leave us?” Crystal asked.

“Sorry, I really had to get my box here back.” I said as I showed them my box.

“What’s so special about it?” Blaze asked.

“I’ll tell you guys another time.” I said as I looked over at Crèmepop and I gave her a wink. Crème giggled and blushed.

“So where’s Twilight?” AppleJack asked.

“She’s still inside saying her goodbyes. She’ll be back in a little while.” Water said.

“Her goodbyes?” Rarity asked.

“It appears she made friends in that world.” Flutters said.

“I WANNA GO!” Pinkie whined.

“It’s good to have you back Flare and Water.” Celestia said.

“It’s good to be back, princess! I had enough of seeing Blaze with his zipper down.” I said.

“Bro, I wasn’t even there, and I’m not even wearing a zipper.” Blaze corrected me.

“Hey, Flare? Come with us, we have to show you something really cool!” Crystal offered. We all went over to one of the Crystal palace rooms where Crèmepop was standing near a human sculpture that looks a lot like me.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s you as a human! I know you’ve been dreaming to be a human, man! So even though you can’t be one, we made you a little statue of it!” Blaze said.

“Aww, that’s really nice brahs! Thanks a bunch!” I said.

”Flare you got me worried sick!” Crème said giving me a big hug. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too.” I said in relief and tons of excitement.

“Flare, you’re acting like you haven’t seen me in a week!” Crème said.

“I haven’t.” I said.

“Why did you leave?” Crème asked.

“Oh you know; I was just living the dream is all!” I said.

“What do ya mean by that?” Aqua asked.

“It’s a long story! I’ll explain later.” I said.

The next day came and we all left the Crystal palace so we can all head back home to Ponyville. “Well, it seems like a pretty straightforward plan for Boorlie to steal yer box and use it to steal yer secret recipe.” Engie said.

“So you got to be a human, huh? Human me sounds pretty interesting, but it’s too bad I wasn’t able to fly.” Psyche said.

”Well Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight grew some wings during their little moment, but somehow Twilight and Rarity didn’t have their horns.” I said. “I believe that was all a hoax for toy stock.”

“I would’ve wanted to be on an adventure like that! I should’ve gone with you!” Crystal complained.

"Well, one thing's for sure, I'm going to miss eating meat. You should taste, and you'll feel excited on how delicious chicken tastes!" I said.

A cutaway shows me in human form eating some fried chicken from a KFC containor. "Ah! KFC, original recipe!" I said.

"Original recipe, huh? Sounds pretty good!" human AppleJack said.

"Yep! Delicious!" I said as I finished up all the chicken.

"Uhh, Flare? I think you ate the bones." Flutters pointed out.

"I did what?" I asked.

"You ate the bones!" Flutters repeated.

I started to freak out. "I ate the bones? I ate the bones?! I ATE THE BONES?!" I yelled.

"We better call 9-1-1!" Flutters said in worry as she ran to the phone and called the emergency service. "Hello? We need a paramedic! My friend just ate the bones!"

"Oh false alarm! This is KFC boneless chicken." I said.

"Oh.... false alarm." Flutters said. The cutaway ends.

“Well, regardless, we were wrong Flare. It was foolish of us to disagree with ya dream.” Aqua said.

“No problemo, brah!” I said. “At least I know I’m right, and you’re wrong, it makes a huge difference.”

“So what are we going to do when we get back to Ponyville?” Water asked.

“I dunno.” I said. Just then, a strange beam of light appears up ahead, and what looks to be like a school bus drove really fast towards us, and it parked right in front of us, and tooted its horn.

“A school bus?” Blaze asked. The school bus opened, and Ms. Frizzle in pony form came out.

“What a perfect time to take a field trip to an alternate world!” Ms. Frizzle said.

“Ms. Frizzle? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You know this strange-looking mare?” Crystal asked.

“Yes she’s Twilight’s home room teacher at Canterlot High! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You have to come back with me!” Frizzle said grabbing my shoulders.

“Back where?” I asked.

“Back to the School!” Frizzle said as she reached through the crystal trash cans, took garbage out, and placed them inside one of the fuel containers of her bus.

“What are you doing, Frizzle?” Water asked.

“I need fuel.” Frizzle said, placing the garbage inside. “Go on, get in the bus!”

“But Frizzle, we just got back!” I complained. “Crèmepop, my sister, and my friends, and I are all thinking of going to the Crystal Empire T.G.I. Fridays!”

“By all means, take them along! This concerns them too!” Frizzle said.

“Wait, Frizzle, what are you talking about? What happened in that universe?” Water asked.

“Are my human friends okay?!” I panicked.

“Oh no no no! Your friends turn out fine! It’s that universe’s version of yourself and your sister! Something needs to be done by yourselves!” Frizzle said.

“I KNEW IT! I knew something wasn’t right! I knew I was forgetting something!” I shouted. “Human me and human Water need our help!”

So we all agreed to go with her on the trip. We all went into the bus, and Ms. Frizzle started it up as her pet lizard Liz was hanging on her back. We were pretty concerned because Ms. Frizzle got the bus turned to the wrong direction, as she was about to step on the gas pedal. “Hey, Ms. Frizzle, you better turn around, there doesn’t seem to be enough road in this direction.” Blaze pointed out.

“Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads!” Ms. Frizzle said as she puts on her shades, and the bus starts flying up to the sky and starts flying towards the camera and the end credits roll.

Well, my sister and I had a very good time in the human world, and you know what else? Equestria is once again safe from harm, and you know my side of the story of this adventure. Now the only question is….. what song should I sing for the end credits? Oh what do I need end credits for? I made this whole story! The only thing I didn’t make was the cover picture for the story. Oh... wait.... I forgot to do something in the human world! I was supposed to get my smiley boxers!

Anyways, thank you for reading Equestria Brahs! I hope you enjoyed it! This story was written by MegaSean45. With special thanks of Hasbro Inc., Lauren Faust, and to all who read this! Thank you again, and stay tuned for more stories! Also, be on the look out for one bonus DLC chapter in this story that’ll lead to Equestria Brahs 2! Anyways, for the end credits song….. Venus anypony?

Author's Note

This chapter was made to conclude the story. Since I loved the polka number back in the Book 2 finale, I wanted to make another one! But I have to say, this one didn't turn out as good as I planned, but don't worry, the NEXT polka will be even better!

The original ending to this story was with Starswirl the Frizzle coming to Equestria via magic school bus along with the human versions of the Noble Six AND human Flare and human Water! But that was put out of the story before the first release! The Back to the Future reference ending was alot better, and now I'll have a better reason for it because of what's gonna happen in the new bonus chapter I'm making!

The Forgotten Ones (BONUS DLC CHAPTER)

Welcome, brahs! You just read the remake of Equestria Brahs, and you decided that you liked this story and wanted to see more, which is why you downloaded this bonus chapter that’s gonna lead to the next Equestria Brahs book that’s going to be coming after Book 3 is finished, or partially finished! Anyways, this chapter is going to answer the question of what happened to human me and human Water, so let’s get started!

We start off this bonus chapter taking place right after Water and I returned from human world, Canterlot High, after Boorlie Pomodoro uses one of human Swinebutt’s spider-bots to steal my black box and use it to his advantage at me giving up my secret formula for him, but thanks to my Trixie-tricks, my friends in the human Noble Six, I was able to get it back! While I was at it, I helped my human friends reunite after Sunset Shimmer broke them up, but there was still one thing I forgot to do before I left the human world because I didn’t have enough time to do it before the portal back to Equestria closed. Now we find ourselves right where we left out, right after my friends and I left the Crystal palace and were heading to the trainstation to go back to Ponyville.

Saturday, June 21st, 2013… outside the Crystal palace… one day after the portal to the human world closes….

“Well, it seems like a pretty straightforward plan for Boorlie to steal yer box and use it to steal yer secret recipe.” Engie said.

“So you got to be a human, huh? Human me sounds pretty interesting, but it’s too bad I wasn’t able to fly.” Psyche said.

”Well Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight grew some wings during their little moment, but somehow Twilight and Rarity didn’t have their horns.” I said. “I believe that was all a hoax for toy stock.”

“I would’ve wanted to be on an adventure like that! I should’ve gone with you!” Crystal complained.

"Well, one thing's for sure, I'm going to miss eating meat. You should taste, and you'll feel excited on how delicious chicken tastes!" I said. I’m skipping the cutaway gag because you saw that already.

“Well, regardless, we were wrong Flare. It was foolish of us to disagree with ya dream.” Aqua said.

“No problemo, brah!” I said. “At least I know I’m right, and you’re wrong, it makes a huge difference.”

“So what are we going to do when we get back to Ponyville?” Water asked.

“I dunno.” I said. Just then, a strange beam of light appears up ahead, and what looks to be like a school bus drove really fast towards us, and it parked right in front of us, and tooted its horn.

“A school bus?” Blaze asked. The school bus opened, and Ms. Frizzle in pony form came out.

“What a perfect time to take a field trip to an alternate world!” Ms. Frizzle said.

“Ms. Frizzle? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You know this strange-looking mare?” Crystal asked.

“Yes she’s Twilight’s home room teacher at Canterlot High! What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You have to come back with me!” Frizzle said grabbing my shoulders.

“Back where?” I asked.

“Back to the School!” Frizzle said as she reached through the crystal trash cans, took garbage out, and placed them inside one of the fuel containers of her bus.

“What are you doing, Frizzle?” Water asked.

“I need fuel.” Frizzle said, placing the garbage inside. “Go on, get in the bus!”

“But Frizzle, we just got back!” I complained. “Crèmepop, my sister, and my friends, and I are all thinking of going to the Crystal Empire T.G.I. Fridays!”

“By all means, take them along! This concerns them too!” Frizzle said.

“Wait, Frizzle, what are you talking about? What happened in that universe?” Water asked.

“Are my human friends okay?!” I panicked.

“Oh no no no! Your friends turn out fine! It’s that universe’s version of yourself and your sister! Something needs to be done by yourselves!” Frizzle said.

“I KNEW IT! I knew something wasn’t right! I knew I was forgetting something!” I shouted. “Human me and human Water need our help!”

So we all agreed to go with her on the trip. We all went into the bus, and Ms. Frizzle started it up as her pet lizard Liz was hanging on her back. We were pretty concerned because Ms. Frizzle got the bus turned to the wrong direction, as she was about to step on the gas pedal. “Hey, Ms. Frizzle, you better turn around, there doesn’t seem to be enough road in this direction.” Blaze pointed out.

“Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads!” Ms. Frizzle said as she puts on her shades, and the school bus starts to fly. Yeah this is the part where the credits rolled at the end of Equestria Brahs.

“Seatbelts, everyone!” Frizzle said.

“Please let this be a normal field trip!” Aqua begged.

“With the Frizz?!” all of us asked shockingly. “No way!”

“Bus, do your stuff!” Frizzle said to her bus as the bus tooted and opens a vortex to take us all back to the human world.

Meanwhile, at the Crystal Empire, Boorlie was just waiting for the train back to Ponyville after his last mission failure. “That bloody human world was nothing but trouble! A waste of my time!” Boorlie complained. “Looks like I’ll have to go back to stealing Flare’s formula the old fashion way.”

“Attention: the train to Ponyville is arriving at platform one.” The voice intercom said.

“I thought this place was too historical to have voice intercoms?” Boorlie asked.

“It wasn’t a voice intercom, it was me!” Willow Iceblast (you remember her?) said as she stood right next to him. “I do a really good intercom voice.” Willow places her hooves near her mouth and says in a intercom voice, “Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow, your party from Saturn as has arrived, please give them a ring.”

“You know they changed that ride’s intercom system, right?” Boorlie asked her.

“How should I know? I haven’t left this empire since it came back.” Willow said.

“Well… at least I could finally get outta here before Flare finds me.” Boorlie said as the train stops at the station. The train doors opened and Boorlie was just about to head inside, but then Boorlie gets ambushed by a couple of swinebots. “HEY!” Boorlie cried. “What the bloody H is going on?!”

“Hello, Boorlie! Good to see you again!” Swinebutt said to him as he snorted.

“Swinebutt?! What do you want? You betrayed me once, I’m not helping you anymore!” Boorlie yelled. “Unless you want your BBQ place back. It’s not gonna happen.”

“Relax, Boorlie, you could keep it. I just need you to do one thing for me.” Swinebutt said.

“How should I know I could trust you?” Boorlie asked.

“All I need is information on your… little adventure to the human world.” Swinebutt said.

“How did you know about that?” Boorlie asked.

“Allow me to explain.” Swinebutt said mischievously as he places his pinky near his mouth and snorts.

Back with the Noble Six, Crème, Water, Ms. Frizzle and I back on the school bus, we were travelling through the space-time continuum. I gotta say this was a rougher ride than the portal ride. Psyche forgot to put on his seatbelt and he was just holding onto the back of the chair as he was flying. “AAAAH! What have I doooooone?!” Psyche yelled. “My brain… is going right to my hind-hooves!”

“See what you get for not strapping in?!” Blaze yelled.

Meanwhile in the space time continuum, Lonestar and Mog were driving their RV ship along the vortex, and then the magic school bus flies on top of them in a plaid color. “What the heck was that?” Mog asked.

“Magic school bus.” Lonestar said.

“They’ve gone to PLAID!” Mog said.

Back inside the bus, Psyche was still hanging on the back of his chair for his life. “STOP THIS THING!” Psyche yelled.

“We can’t stop! It’s too dangerous! We have to slow down first!” Engie yelled.

“BULL! Just stop this thing! I order you… STOOOOOOOOP!” Psyche yelled.

“We’re here!” Frizzle said as we eventually arrived at Canterlot High parking lot at dusk. Inside the bus, Water and I turned back into humans, and the pony Noble Six were humans for the first time. When the bus stops, Psyche starts flying into the front of the bus and hits his head on a power supply. Frizzle and Water ran up to Psyche and helped him up.

“Are you alright, Psyche?” Water asked.

“Fine…” Psyche said in a loopy attitude. “How have you been?”

“Great, Psyche!” Water said.

“Yeah.” Psyche said.

“It’s a good thing you have a head of steel.” Water said.

“Yeah.” Psyche said.

“So what should we do now?” Water asked.

“Well… have we stopped?” Psyche asked.

“We’re stopped.” Water nodded.

“Good… why don’t we take a five minute break?” Psyche suggested.

“Very good. Ya read my mind, mate.” Aqua said.

“Whoa!” Engie cried as he looked at his hands. “Ah’ve got ape hands! Trippy!”

“Yeah very trippy.” Aqua agreed. “I’m really confused by all this right now; more confused than who people thought I was when I went as Derpy for Nightmare Night.”

A cutaway shows pony Aqua wearing a Derpy costume and then knocking on a door to a house and then Woodenshy comes and answers it. “Trick or treat.” Aqua said.

“What are you supposed to be?” Woodenshy asked. “David Bowie with fairy wings?” The cutaway ends.

So Frizzle, Water, and I got off the bus with no troubles whatsoever, but my friends on the other…. hand, I guess I should say, had a lot of trouble getting out since it was their first time here. “Wow-zers! How do you walk on TWO legs? That’s physically impossible!” Crème yelled.

“Here I’ll help you, Crèmey.” I offered as I held her up and helped her walk off the bus.

“What a gentlecolt!” Crème said as she leaned on me.

“And you’re not gonna help us out?” Engie asked.

“Here I come, Aqua!” Water cried as she ran over to Aqua and held him up. “There! It’s simple, really! It’s like walking on four legs but you have to carry the weight of your entire body, not just your head.”

“What a terrible time to be fat.” Engie complained as Crystal bumped into him and then Engie falls out of the bus, face-first.

“Oh snap! Sorry about that, Engie!” Crystal said.

“I’m sure has no trouble eating my dust.” I teased and chuckled.

Engie put up his head and spits out a mouthful of dirt and grass. “Yuck! Why does grass taste bad all the sudden?”

“We’re all humans now, brahs. It took me a while to figure out how things work here in this world.” I said. “In my experience, they have the weirdest pieces of technology in this world. Carriages that move on their own, toilets hanging on the walls that you only pee in, water fountains with the handles near the fountain instead of near the floor, and don’t get me started on airport security.”

“How is airport security here different from airport security in our world?” Aqua asked.

“There is more of it.” I said. “Plus they ask you to take off your shoes AND your belt! I don’t wanna get my feet dirty from the ground and risk my pants falling off! I still didn’t get those boxers!”

“Regardless though, I look pretty good man.” Blaze said as he looks at his reflection by the front doors in the school. “I don’t have wings, but I do have a lot of muscle! Rainbow Dash should see this!”

“Then why don’t you ask her, brah? There’s a Rainbow Dash in this world.” I suggested.

“Yeah, but… she’s with human Blaze, like you explained when you got back.” Blaze reminded me.

“Anyways, thanks for the ride, Ms. Frizz-“ Aqua started but the magic school bus was already gone.

“Golly, she’s good.” Crème said.

“Ok so we were brought back here for a reason, Flare. What’s going on?” Blaze asked.

“Human Flare and human Water are in trouble. I didn’t see them last time I was here. It was just me and this Water here.” I said.

“You have a problem with this Water here, bro?” Water asked with an attitude.

“But dude, where do we start? We’re in the middle of a closed high school and it is nearly dark!” Blaze said.

“Well... if we’re lucky, we might find the human Noble Six. They should be able to help us out.” I said.

“Wouldn’t they be surprised they’d be seeing their doubles?” Blaze asked.

“They’ll know you’re from the pony world when they see you. It’s the other students in the school that get concerned easily, but they follow along instantly.” I said. “For example: if you start a musical number in the cafeteria, everyone’s gonna follow along and sing with you. The cafeteria out of all places.”

“So where do we start, baby?” Crème asked.

“Wah.” I teased as we both chuckled. “Anyways, I BARELY know this town so I-D-K.”

“If you don’t have a clue about this city, how did you find everythin’ you were lookin’ for?” Engie asked.

“EVERYTHING happens at Canterlot High. It’s pretty much the main symbol in this world.” I explained. “I know this school by heart by now, but everything else in this world other than where Holiday Inn is, it’s all just a big white blank in my head, just like that Futurama episode where Fry dreams he was back home.”

“You know, Futurama was cancelled once and it came back, right?” Crystal asked.

“Where are ya gettin’ at, Crystal?” Aqua asked.

“You know how disappointed people were when the Clone Wars series was cancelled and My Name is Earl was cancelled? They could come back. It’s a slight possibility.” Crystal explained.

“Highly unlikely with the My Name is Earl category, but I do believe they’ll be making a movie to conclude the whole thing.” Crème said.

“Really?” Crystal asked.

“Yep! The creator of the show AND the guy who plays Earl wants to make one, but the only problem is… the creator is focused on the Millers right now and I think they might need a production company to help them publish since NBC failed them.” Crème explained.

“All these broadcast channels are nothin’ but trouble.” Engie said. “That’s why we only watch Ox and PNT. They’re Equestria’s number one networks.”

“Alright we’re really going nowhere here. We have to find out what happened to human Flare and human Water.” Psyche said.

“I say we should split up.” I said. “Check the school, maybe someone’s here still. We can try to get into contact with the human Noble Six. Now Engie and Aqua, you check the east corridors, Psyche and Crystal will check the west, Blaze and Water will check the school yard, and Crème and I will search the middle. Sound good?”

“Just one question, Flare.” Crystal said as she raised her hand. “We’ve never been here before so… where is all that?”

“School yard, west corridor, east corridor, and center; it’s actually pretty obvious, Crystal.” Aqua explained.

“Ew, Aqua! Why are you doing that to your fingers? Putting them up one at a time, it’s creepy.” Crystal said with a grossed-out look on her face.

“I’m counting with them.” Aqua said.

“That’s a good idea, Aqua! It should make math A LOT easier!” Engie said as he stuck out his thumb for him.

“What are ya doin’?” Aqua asked.

“Ah dunno… giving you a thumb… ah guess?” Engie said.

“Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?” Aqua asked.

“Ah’m not sure. It was just a force of habit. Like… ah feel that when ah’m REALLY mad at someone, ah’d stick up the finger that’s two places away from mah thumb.” Engie said.

“Well then… without further ado… let’s go find some information.” I said. So we all split up and went inside the school, finding anything that might prove useful to the whereabouts of human Flare and human Water, but everyone except for Water and I was walking weirdly. It took them a while to figure out what they were doing was wrong; Crystal though, didn’t really care and she continued walking on all-fours. As she crawled by the school corridors, the janitor Discord looked at her and whistled.

“Nice pose, girl!” Discord said.

“THANKS!” Crystal said excitedly.

Discord then slaps himself in the head and mumbles to himself, “What’s your problem, Discord? She’s a student! Do I wanna go to court for that again? I’m glad I was proven innocent. I was suspended from working at this school for 1,000 hours because of it! Just relax… and continue thinking about Principle Celestia. She’s the one you want.” Discord then continued to mop the floor.

So Crystal kept crawling on the floor as she followed Psyche. “You know, this walking would be a lot easier if I didn’t have these annoying shoes!” he complained.

“Then take them off then.” Crystal suggested.

“I tried, but these stupid… string things are tied real tight.” Psyche said. “But I must say I am quite impressed with the style of tying. Two loops and a knot, that looks genius! I must find the one responsible of inventing these.”

“Here, bring your shoes to me; I’ll help you untie them.” Crystal offered.

“Knock yourself out.” Psyche said as he stops walking. Crystal crawls over to Psyche’s shoes and starts pulling them with her teeth. She growls like a dog as she attempts to untie them, but regardless on how freaked out Psyche was, Crystal was unable to untie them.

“Done!” Crystal said.

“Impressive! You deserve a jelly-baby!” Psyche said as takes out the bag of jelly babies from his pocket, takes one out of the package and tosses one into Crystal’s mouth.

“Mmm! Tastes like carrot baby food.” Crystal said. Psyche then removes his sneakers and is now walking around in his socks, and he begins to walk again.

“Oh that is MUCH better! That is MUCH easier to walk!” Psyche said.

“I bet my services were appreciated!” Crystal said.

“Very much so!” Psyche nodded.

Meanwhile with Aqua and Engie at the opposite corridors, they walked inside a random class room to see if they could find any clues. “Ahh, high school! This place brings so many memories, doesn’t it, Aqua?” Engie asked.

“High school sucked for me.” Aqua said. “Do ya have any good memories in high school?”

“No way! Ah was homeschooled. By that ah mean the older engineers before me used to teach me.” Engie said.

“Really?” Aqua asked.

“Sure! You think ah was the only engineer out there? You think all the classes were the only ones? They’re all successors from the classes in Team Fortress Classic.” Engie explained.

“I see.” Aqua said.

“And before that was the classes from the very original Team Fortress when it was still a Quake mod.” Engie said. “Only those from the 90s or before remember that!”

“Engie, no offense, but I sometimes really don’t understand ya, like I don’t understand divorces.” Aqua said.

A cutaway shows a couple of parents having an argument. “Honey, this has gone on for way too long. I want a divorce.” The stallion said.

“Fine! But I’m keeping the house!” the mare said.

“Go ahead! Keep the house! I’m keeping the car!” the stallion said.

“Fine, take the car! Take your son with you!” the mare demanded.

“Oh no, I’m not taking custody of our son. Son, you stay with mommy.” The stallion instructed his son.

“Oh no, son, you’re going with daddy.” The mare said.

“Please, I insist you take our son.” The stallion said to the mare.

“No thank you, I insist YOU on taking him.” the mare said.

“Don’t I have a say in this?” the son asked. Just then, the son kicks both of his parents out of the house. “I’m keeping everything.” He said as he slams the door.

“I’m ok with this. At least I don’t take custody of him.” the stallion said. The cutaway ends.

After Aqua and Engie were done in that classroom, they decided to search on. “Hey, Aqua, check it out!” Engie pointed to the broom closet.

“It’s a broom closet, I see.” Aqua said.

“Did you get the broom closet ending? The broom closet ending was mah FAVORITE!” Engie said excitedly.

“What are ya talking about?” Aqua asked.

Engie opens the broom closet door and steps inside. Once he got inside, he said; “Stanley was fat and ugly and really really stupid. He probably only got this job because of a family connection, that’s how stupid he is.”

“Mate, I… I really… what?” Aqua asked.

“It’s Stanley Parable, partner! How can you not know that game?” Engie asked.

“I don’t play video games.” Aqua said.

“Which makes yer life the most borin’ in the group.” Engie said.

“I say video games are completely unnecessary and they rot the brain.” Aqua said.

“If yer sayin’ shooters make us murderers, lemme tell you somethin’, Aqua.” Engie started. “If the Cooking Mama game doesn’t make me a good cook, if the Neopets game doesn’t make me a good pet owner, if playin’ the Spy Fox game doesn’t make a secret agent, if Where In the World is Carmon San Diego doesn’t make me a good finder, how is shooters supposed to make me a murderer?”

“I… I wasn’t talking about shooters, mate. I was talking about video games in general.” Aqua corrected him.

“So does playing Hungry Hungry Hippos make you fat?” Engie asked. Just then, in the middle of their conversation, the two of them start to hear a moaning sound coming from inside the broom closet. “Hey do you hear that, partner?”

“I do.” Aqua said.

“Then ah know pronounce you husband and wife.” Engie teased and chuckled. Aqua just glared at him. The two of them suddenly hear the moaning again. Engie looks behind a some equipment in the room and there he spotted a tied up Boorlie Pomodoro. Engie removes the gag from his mouth and Boorlie starts gasping in relief.

“Holy mother of… THANK YOU!” Boorlie yelled. “Thank you so much for finally noticing me!”

“What happened?” Aqua asked.

“I was ambushed by my bloody pony replica! I’ve been in here, trapped all week!” human Boorlie cried. “I managed to survive by eating some of the rats and ants that come in here, and drinking mop water. I feel really sick but alive. Thanks for finally getting me out!”

“Its no trouble, partner.” Engie said as he started to untie him. “What’s yer name anyway?”

“Boorlie… Boorlie Pomodoro.” Boorlie said.

“Oh… ah see.” Engie said as he stops untying Boorlie.

“Hey what’s the big idea? Why did you stop?” Boorlie asked. Engie didn’t say anything and just place the gag right back in his mouth. Boorlie kept moaning and groaning and struggling, but Engie just ignored him and closed the broom closet door.

“He’s an enemy of mah friend. Ah can’t let him free.” Engie said.

“What makes ya think he’s bad here?” Aqua asked.

“Didn’t he cause Flare so much grief by stealin’ his black box?” Engie asked.

“That was pony Boorlie. Which is why this Boorlie is trapped in there.” Aqua corrected him.

“But Flare said human Swinebutt was just as bad as pig Swinebutt. Same goes with human Fonz Punkskull, human Lord Thorn, and human Blueberry Pie.” Engie explained.

“I guess that makes sense.” Aqua nodded.

“Of course it does. Ah have a master’s degree.” Engie said.

“So do I.” Aqua said.

“Which makes us equally intelligent in all ways.” Engie said.

“I don’t think it works that way, mate.” Aqua said.

“The paper says it all, partner.” Engie said.

Meanwhile with Water and Blaze, they searched all around the school yard for any clues they could find over human me’s and human Water’s whereabouts, but so far, no luck. “Find anything, Blaze?” Water asked.

“Nope. Did you?” Blaze asked.

“Well… I found a wonder ball wrapper! I didn’t think they made these anymore.” Water said.

“This is pointless.” Blaze complained. “This school is closed! If Flare and you didn’t find any trace of human-“

“HEY!” Water interrupted him. “Me and Flare, my name is first.”

Blaze sighs. “Whatever. If you and Flare didn’t find any trace of human him and you last time you-“

“Human me and him.” Water corrected him.

“WHATEVER!” Blaze yelled. “What makes you think we’ll find traces of you guys?”

“Traces of who?” Water asked.

“Flare and you.” Blaze said.

“ME AND FLARE!” Water yelled. “For goodness sake, Blaze! You never listen! Men are all the same!”

A cutaway shows a random lady asking a random man for assistance. “Hey, Sam! Will you be a big strong man and carry my couch?” the lady asked.

“That depends. Will you be a small weak woman and make me a sandwich?” the man asked. “You know, since we’re all being sexist here.” The cutaway ends.

“You made your point.” Blaze said to Water.

“Blaze? Water?” a familiar voice asked.

“Huh?” Blaze and Water both asked.

“What are you two doing here in the middle of the night?” the voice asked as the mysterious figure that walks from out of the shadows turns out to be Sunset Shimmer.

“Who are you?” Blaze asked.

“I know you!” Water said. “I mean I forgot your name, umm… demon girl?”

“UGH! Please! Don’t get me started on that!” Sunset complained.

“I’ll say! That demon form was kind of… unnecessary. I mean, it ruins the high school setting even more.” Water said. “You were already a poorly written villain. Why not ruin it more by putting a demon girl in a high school setting type story?”

“Look… I had a bad day today. People kept looking at me funny, and I felt really bad for myself. Only five students forgave me for that innocent, but everyone else… ugh!” Sunset sighs as she sits down on a bench.

“You’re Sunset Shimmer aren’t you?” Blaze asked.

“Umm… yeah? Why? Is that a tease of some sort?” Sunset asked.

“Wha- NO! It’s just… Flare told us his adventures when he was here.” Blaze said.

“Wait… are you… no, it can’t be!” Sunset said shockingly.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“She must’ve found out you’re a draconian. She’s gonna think you’re a freak of nature now, Blaze.” Water said.

“No, no, I mean… I might sound crazy to you two, but… are you two… from… Equestria?” Sunset asked.

“Yeah.” Blaze said. “You are two, right?”

“I am.” Sunset said. “But I kinda got impatient with my studies and moved here. I tried to take over, but… well… I’m sure Flare told you everything.”

“Yeah… you sold him out to Swinebutt!” Blaze said angrily.

“I know, I did, and I’m sorry. I regret everything I did since I came to this world.” Sunset said. “But I’m trying to reform myself… change for the better. Nobody seems to really understand, but I’m still quite concerned. What are you doing here? The portal closed yesterday.”

“Hey how about this? What are YOU doing here?” Water asked. “Isn’t it almost dark?”

“I actually stayed after school to repair the front entrance. I’m glad I finished it though, but… sometimes I just want to sit here… alone… and just…” Sunset starts to tear up.

“See what you just did, Blaze? You made her cry!” Water said. “All men all the same, aren’t they?”

“Hey, hey… it’s ok! It’s ok.” Blaze said as he sits down next to her. “I understand how you feel. I did many times I regret in the past. I’m a freak of nature. I’m a draconian back in Equestria. I know human me doesn’t seem like a freak of nature, so I’m sure he didn’t have to go through as much as I did.”

“You’d be surprised.” Sunset said.

“Really now?” Blaze asked as he looked over at Water.

“What? You think Flare and I knew too?” Water asked. “The only thing we know about human Blaze is that he used to date Sunset Shimmer just to use him to becoming more popular with the jocks.” Sunset was quite shocked after she said that.

“Wait, what?!” Blaze yelled.

“I’d rather not talk about that.” Sunset said as she glares at Water.

“What? It’s true, isn’t it?” Water asked.

“You and Flare are one of the same, aren’t you?” Blaze asked. “Can’t think before you say, huh?”

“Is he here too?” Sunset asked.

“Yep! Even pony Crèmepop, pony Crystal, pony Psyche, pony Engie, and pony Aqua!” Water said.

“The gang’s all here, huh?” Sunset asked.

“They are!” Water said. “They’re looking around the school, looking for traces of human Flare and human me. No wait… I mean human me and human Flare.”

“You think you might know anything about that?” Blaze asked her.

“Actually, now that I think about it, there is a human Flare and a human Water.” Sunset said.

“HUMAN ME AND HUMAN FLARE! THAT ORDER!” Water yelled.

“Does it matter?” Sunset asked.

“It does to me!” Water said.

“Well, as I was saying, human Water and human Flare did come to school today, but there was something a little off. I knew those two weren’t from Equestria.” Sunset said. “When they came in, half the school was shocked to why they were here. They thought the portal closed, but human Water and human Flare were confused. They didn’t know what everyone was talking about. They were saying they were at CHS since freshman year, but nobody seems to remember. I did a bit of research in the library, and I found something out of the ordinary.”

“Can you show us?” Blaze asked.

“You bet! Follow me.” Sunset instructed them.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Water asked.

“I’ve changed, Water. I’m no longer a villain.” Sunset said. “Plus, come to think of it, I NEVER did anything bad to you… EVER!”

“Gossip is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?” Water asked.

So Sunset Shimmer led Blaze and Water to the library. When they got in there, it was completely dark outside now. When they got to the library, Snips and Snails came up to Sunset Shimmer and saluted her. “Awaiting your orders, Sunset Shimmer!” Snips said.

“Yeah, also I have to pee.” Snails said as he started dancing.

“Oh great, these two!” Blaze complained.

“Snips and Snails in your world?” Sunset asked.

“BIG TIME!” Blaze said.

“There’s an alternate us in the pony world?” Snips asked shockingly.

“Sweeeeeeeet!” Snails said in excitement.

“Yeah, umm… I’m sorry you two, but I forgot to mention that your services are no longer requires.” Sunset said to them.

“What?” they both asked.

“Now that I’m reformed, I’d rather not have other students do my bidding. So… you two are free to go.” Sunset said.

“Aww! But the only thing we’re good at is being boot lickeeeers!” Snips complained.

“I knew we should’ve just taken Pinkie Pie’s offer.” Snails said as they both walked out of the library upsettingly.

“Over here.” Sunset said as she leads Water and Blaze over to the year book section of the library.

“There’s no light in here. How can you see?” Water asked.

“When being ruler of this school, I had to know my way among the shadows.” Sunset said as she pointed to the moon behind the skylight. “So as long as there’s just a little bit of light, I can see everything.”

“Like a bat, right?” Water asked.

“Exactly!” Sunset said.

“Good!” Water said as she whacks Blaze in the head with the baseball bat.

“OW!” Blaze yelled as he then snatches the baseball bat from her and snaps it in half with his leg.

“Whoa, antsy!” Water said in a surprised tone.

“Here it is; the yearbook of 2009-2010. Otherwise known as our freshman year.” Sunset said as she opened the book and flipped through the pages. “See these blank parts of the book?”

“No I don’t.” Blaze said.

“Probably because it’s too small.” Sunset said as she flips the page. “Here’s a bigger one. See it now?”

“No I don’t. It’s too dark.” Blaze said.

Sunset sighs as she walks over to the entrance of the library and turns on the lights. She walks back to Blaze and Water and shows them the white marks on the year book. “See them now?” she asked.

“Yes I can. Is that whiteout?” Blaze asked.

“Yes!” Sunset said. “It turns out there are a few pages that have whiteout on certain parts. The improv group, the makeup group, the band group, the Doctor Who club…”

“Hey, I see me!” Blaze pointed. “I LOVE Doctor Who!”

“And even the class photo.” Sunset added.

“So… what does that mean?” Blaze asked.

“It means that it turns out human Flare and human Water-“ Sunset started, but then Water clears her throat. Sunset sighs and corrects herself. “Human Water and human Flare was right. They were here since freshman year.”

“What about the other yearbooks?” Blaze asked.

“Sophmore year, 2010-2011.” Sunset started as she takes out the yearbook and shows it to Blaze and Water. “Whiteout on every other page.”

“How about junior year?” Blaze asked.

“Junior year, 2011-2012.” Sunset started as she takes out that yearbook and shows it to Blaze and Water. “Still whiteout on every other page.”

“Wait… that page says the reward of the world’s best pizza.” Water pointed out. “That one just shows a picture of a pizza, a number one ribbon, but… nobody. Just whiteout covering the person in the picture.”

“So it proves it then.” Sunset said. “This proves that those two used to be in this school, but they were somehow completely erased.”

“How about the senior yearbook?” Water asked.

“We’re in senior year.” Sunset corrected her.

“But what about the school archives? That has to have something.” Blaze asked.

“No use. I snuck in there earlier today, but there was no data on Water or Flare.” Sunset said.

“Does ANYBODY remember them?” Blaze asked.

“Nobody. Not a single soul.” Sunset said.

“How is that possible?” Blaze asked.

“I have no clue.” Sunset said. “But I did find something.”

“What?” Blaze asked.

“I actually DID manage to find the achieve data of Water and Flare.” Sunset said as she takes out the folders from her backpack and showed it to them, but the folders were all burnt.

“Those folders are burnt.” Water pointed out.

“Yes they are. Somebody attempted to destroy them, but it turns out that it wasn’t burnt enough.” Sunset said.

“But how did you find these, and why?” Blaze asked.

“I wanted to prove the school that I indeed changed, so I decided to take on a case in finding out what happened to this universe’s version of Water Gun and Crimson Flare Gun.” Sunset said.

“Do you know who’s responsible?” Blaze asked.

“I do. I used to work with him. It’s Porker Swinebutt.” Sunset said.

“I knew it!” Water mumbled.

“We have to find human Swinebutt and see if we can encourage him to bring back all traces of Water and Flare.” Blaze said.

“I agree.” Sunset said. Just then, the two of them started to hear some sucking sounds and giggling echoing through the library.

“Do any of you hear that?” Blaze asked.

“Yes, it’s kissing.” Water said.

“How do you know?” Blaze asked.

“How many punk boyfriends did I have before dating Fonz? I know all types of kissing and everything beyond that.” Water said. The three of them searched behind the book shelves, and behold; it was Crèmepop and I making out on a bed made of books that so happened to be there.

“Flare, Crème?! What are you two doing?!” Blaze yelled.

“AAH!” I yelled.

“Ew! You spit in my mouth when you screamed!” Crème complained.

“Weren’t you two supposed to be searching data on how to find the human versions of Water and you?” Blaze asked.

“Me and Water. I have to be first.” I corrected him.

“Nuh uh! I have to be first!” Water argued with me.

“No! I do!”

“No me!”

“No me!”

“No me!” The two of us continued to argue ‘no me’ to eachother until Blaze was annoyed enough.

“NO BOTH OF YOU! I won’t say either of your names first! How about that?!” Blaze yelled.

“Is that even possible?” Sunset asked.

“Heeeey! Sunset Shimmer! Seems only yesterday that I last seen you!” I said excitedly.

“It was yesterday.” Sunset reminded me.

“How have you been?” I asked.

“Terrible.” Sunset said.

“Sorry to hear that.” I said.

“Who’s this girl?” Crème asked.

“Sunset Shimmer, the girl that sold me out to Swinebutt and stole Twilight’s crown and then became a she-demon.” I explained.

“Oooooh, so you weren’t cheating on me with her then, right?” Crème asked.

“Nooooo! I would never!” I defended myself.

“What’s going on anyway? What did you all fine?” Crème asked.

“It’s a long story.” Sunset said. “I’ll explain it to you as I drive you the hotel.”

“Oh good a hotel!” I said in relief. “It’s a good thing I don’t have to sleep on this book bed all night. I’m surprised that if anyone were to sleep on this, they’d still have a good back! I wonder who made this book bed anyway? I just found it here.”

“We should find the others first.” Blaze suggested.

“Can your car fit all of us though?” Crème asked.

“It’s a good thing I bought a mini-van.” Sunset said. “I ALMOST bought a sports car, but then I was like… what if I had a bunch of henchmen? I have to fit them all in my car, so I got a mini-van, so yeah, all of you will fit.”

So after we all regrouped back outside, Sunset let us all in her van and she drove us to the hotel for the night so we could sleep it off. I called shotgun! So as Sunset drove us to the hotel, we started to have a conversation. “Thanks for driving us to the hotel, Sunset!” I said excitedly.

“Hey, it’s no big deal! Just doing my part for the school.” Sunset said.

“Your check engine light is on.” I pointed out.

“Mhm.” Sunset nodded.

“Well… doesn’t that mean you have to… you know… check your engine?” I asked.

“It’s fine. It’s been on for like a month.” Sunset said.

“Well, that’s actually more of a reason for you to… you know… check your engine.” I suggested.

“Flare, its fine.” Sunset said with an attitude.

“But if it was fine, the light wouldn’t be on. Since the light is on, it means it’s not fine.” I corrected her.

“He’s got a point there.” Engie said.

“I’m getting car sick back here.” Aqua said. “I told ya, I don’t like back seats.”

“But I called shotgun, which means I already called dibs in being up here.” I reminded him.

“HEY! Watch what ya say, partner!” Engie warned me.

“Ok, but my point is: you gotta check your engine. If the light’s on, that’s what you have to do.” I advised Sunset.

“Maybe it’s broken.” Sunset assumed.

“Is there a check the check engine light?” Crystal asked.

“Anyways, back to the conversation we had before. You think Swinebutt might be responsible for erasing all data of Water and Flare?” Psyche asked.

“Has to be, bro! He’s responsible for everything bad that happened to be so far!” I said.

“What about Herb Leafhorn?” Psyche reminded me.

“He’s no longer a problem.” I said.

“Senior?” Psyche asked.

“He’s mainly focused on his son.” I said.

“Boorlie?” Aqua reminded me.

“Boorlie doesn’t care about my personal life. He only wants the best business.” I said.

“Look, it HAS to be Swinebutt though. He’d be the only slimeball to actually know how to do something like this.” Water said.

“I know, but why did he do it?” I asked.

“Cause he has a grudge on you, partner. You know that.” Engie reminded me.

“But why Water too?” I asked.

“Maybe because I’m related to you.” Water said.

“Hey Sunset? Why did ya work with Swinebutt anyway in the first place, and how?” Aqua asked.

“He promised to help me rule the school. He was actually one of the reasons I did rule the school for three years.” Sunset said.

“He was?” Crème asked.

“He was.” Sunset said. “I had to make the other students look like they fear me somehow. I mean you think people would actually fear a student like me without help? Look at me! I’m adorable!”

“You are!” Crème agreed.

“Oh thanks, Crème! Makes me feel bad that I stole your necklace!” Sunset said.

“I don’t have a necklace.” Crème corrected her.

“Your human self does.” Sunset said.

“Not all humans dress exactly like their pony selves. Just look at Lord Thorn. He wears a blue and white jumpsuit in our world, and he wears a huge trenchcoat and hat in this one.” I said.

“Plus look at us, bro. We’re not wearing our vests anymore.” Water said. “I’m wearing a red sweater and you’re wearing a blue open jacket.”

“I really like the look of my hoodie thought!” Psyche said. “Is everyone’s cutie marks on their clothing?”

“Wind Racer has her cutie mark on her ear-rings!” Water said.

“Really now?” Aqua asked. “Wow, that’s pretty interesting.”

“Yep! You can barely see the twister on the red boot because it’s all gold, but if you look real closely, you can see it.” Water explained. “They look really fabulous on her!”

“Here we are dudes! The hotel – Holiday Inn.” Sunset said.

“What happened to the Hotel California?” Engie asked.

“We’re not in California.” Sunset corrected him.

“What state are we in then?” Engie asked.

“Anyways, you eight have an awesome night!” Sunset suggested. “Get some good night rest, and tomorrow I’ll help you out in finding Swinebutt. Sound good?”

“Sounds great! Hey thanks, Sunset! I’ll be sure to tell the school of your great contribution!” Crystal promised.

“Aww, that would be so kind of you, Crystal. Thank you!” Sunset said. “Well, I’m going to be heading home. See you tomorrow!” Sunset then drives off as we all wave goodbye to her.

“I’m not really gonna tell the school her contribution.” Crystal admitted. So the eight of us walked inside the hotel so we could check in.

“Wow! Nice hotel! I hope we don’t get one of those smoking rooms.” Crème said.

We walked up to the front desk and I said to the man up front, “Sup brah? We need two rooms please? Two rooms with two double beds.”

“May I have your name please?” the man up front asked.

“Crimson Flare Gun.” I said.

“Oh NOW you use your full name.” Water said.

“I have to if it involves reservations or appointments.” I said. “But then again… I didn’t make a reservation, but I doubt people actually use these Holiday Inns. Embacy Suites is much better anyway.”

“I’m sorry, sir, I typed your name in the database, and it shows that a Crimson Flare Gun has already checked in.” the man said.

“But that’s impossible!” I cried. “Water, did you remember the check us out before we left this universe the first time?”

“I gave them a call as you preformed your polka number, and I had our luggage delivered to the portal.” Water said.

“Well you obviously did something wrong. It says that we’re still checked into this place.” I said.

“I’m officially confused right now. Shall I call the police?” the man asked.

“No, no, it’s ok. How long has this Flare been checked in for?” I asked.

“Since earlier this evening.” The man said.

“But we weren’t here earlier this evening, which means… oh dang!” I freaked out. “Can we have that room number, please?”

“I’m sorry, sir, I cannot give information on people’s room numbers without permission.” The man said.

“Here, put all this under my name.” Aqua offered. “The name’s Aquatic Armor.”

The man checked the database and then nodded. “There’s still an Aquatic Armor available.”

“Good. This will be my treat, mates.” Aqua said.

“And Aqua saves the day again!” I cried in excitement.

“Halleluiah!” Crème cried. “Thank you, Aqua!”

“It’s no trouble, really.” Aqua said. “I had a tax refund last week, and I thought I’d do some good with my bonus.” So we all went upstairs to the fourth floor. 428 and 429, two rooms connected with a center door. Our rooms were pretty nice. Two double beds in each room so room for all of us.

“Nice!” Blaze nodded.

“Still better than the hotel room in Trottingham.” Psyche said.

“So how are we forming the living arrangements?” Crystal asked. “Boys in one room, girls in the other?”

“But there are five guys and three girls.” Psyche corrected her.

“No I think we’re even.” I said. “We have Blaze, Aqua, Engie, and me in that room, and we have Crystal, Water, Crème, and Psyche in this one.”

“Oh ha-ha, very funny.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“You stay in here with us, Flare!” Crème suggested.

“Why me? Why pick me out of everyone else?” I asked.

“Because you can sleep with me on my bed!” Crème suggested.

“Girls and guys sleeping one room in one bed? HA! We’re not parents, Crème! Don’t talk nonsense!” I laughed. Crème just gave me a glare.

“She needs you, man.” Blaze said. “Stay in here with her. Keep her comfortable and warm.”

“That’s the blanket’s job.” I corrected him.

“What about the book bed back in the library?” Crème reminded me.

“We weren’t gonna SLEEP in it!” I reminded her. “Sleeping is a different story.”

“Please Flare? Please sleep in here with us? Please? Please, Flare? I beg you!” Crème begged.

I couldn’t just ignore her puppy dog eyes, so I just nodded in agreement. “Ok, Crèmey. I’ll stay in here with you.”

“And me and Crystal!” Water added.

“You’re not helping.” I informed her.

“This is great! Flare and me sleeping one room like it’s meant to be!” Crème said in excitement. Later that night, we all went to bed, and I was sleeping on the couch nearby. Hey this still counts as sleeping in the same room. Later, later that night when I knew everyone was in a deep sleep, I snuck out of bed and tip-toed to the door. I had to find human Flare. I knew he was in this hotel. The man in the reception said I was already checked in, but I wasn’t there. This is like the opposite of Hotel California.

When I snuck downstairs, luckily for me, the man in the reception was asleep on the job. It was after 1 AM, so I wouldn’t be surprised. I snuck behind the desk only to be stepping on the desk bell that appeared to be on the floor. The front desk man responded to the bell, but he didn’t wake up. Why was this bell on the floor anyway? Anyways, I snuck over to the back room only to hear the bell again. I didn’t step on it this time. In fact, I keep hearing the bell many times. I took a peek outside, and there was Crèmepop ringing the bell many times and giggling.

“Crème! What are you doing?!” I whispered.

“I heard the door close before you left. Next time don’t slam the door so hard.” Crème whispered. “It’s the same problem as you slamming the toilet seat down after you’re doing using it.”

“What are you doing here, babe?” I whispered.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” She whispered back.

“I’m looking in the database to find the room where human me is supposed to be. I have to find out the truth.” I whispered.

“He’s in room 431.” Crème whispered.

“What? How did you know that?” I whispered.

“I saw human Water going out to get a soda worth $2.50.” Crème whispered.

“Yeah can you believe prices for soda would be that high?” I asked.

“I know right?” Crème agreed.

“Well good job, Crème! Which means all I need is the master key.” I said as I looked over to take it but it was gone.

“You mean this key?” Crème asked as she showed the master key attached on a string which was hanging between her fingers. “It was just hanging around, waiting to be snatched.”

“Well good job, Crème! Let’s get going!” I whispered as we started tip-toeing back upstairs. Crème just starts dinging the desk bell that was on the floor again and started chuckling, but luckily the man still didn’t wake up. I just glared at Crème, grabbed the desk bell with my magic and placed it on the desk.

“Aww, ruin the fun, huh?” Crème whispered.

“Jeez, this man sure is a heavy sleepier.” I whispered.

“WHA- WHO’S THAT! WHO’S THERE?!” the man cried as we woke up. Crème and I started to run before he was able to see us behind him. The man heard the footsteps, but then he just shrugged and went back to sleep.

After we ran off, I walked on back to the front desk and I started ringing the bell many times and yelling, “HEY! Wake up!”

“Huh? Wha-?! What?” the man asked.

“You’re a terrible receptionist.” I said. “You shouldn’t sleep on the job. Someone could go to the back room or into your cash register and steal something while you’re out cold. Be lucky I don’t tell the manager.”

“I am terribly sorry, sir.” The receptionist said.

“Consider this a lesson, brah.” I said as I walked out of the reception and followed Crème upstairs. What I just did had to be done. I was doing a bad thing by stealing that master key, but I wanted to make it up by doing something good and telling the receptionist to stay awake because anything could happen.

So Crème and I went over to the room across from ours, room 431, and I was prepared to meet my double for the first time. “Are you sure meeting your double is a good idea, Flarey?” Crème asked.

“I have to do this. Best case scenario, he’ll be excited; worst case scenario, the universe blows up.” I said.

“Let’s hope it’s that first choice.” Crème said.

“I agree.” I nodded as I inserted the master key into the slot, turned it slightly, unlocked it, and I opened it. I was a little nervous as I was opening the door. Am I disrupting the space-time continuum by doing this? Nah! Of course not! So Crème and I snuck inside the room to see what we could find.

“Aren’t we trespassing? Shouldn’ve we knocked first?” Crème asked.

“Yeah, Flare, have you?” a familiar voice asked from inside the room. The door slams shut behind us and then the lights went on, and there he was… Lord Thorn!

“AAH! Who’s that?” Crème asked.

“Lord Thorn.” I said. “He’s just like the pony version back in Equestria.”

“There was a Lord Thorn in Equestria? I never met him.” Crème said.

“Oh… so you’re not the Flare I’m looking for.” Lord Thorn said. “Swinebutt will be most disappointed.”

“What?” I asked. “You mean you’re looking for human me? Why isn’t he here?”

“I stole his driver’s license and credit card.” Lord Thorn said as he showed me human me’s driver’s license and credit card.

“Ah, a Visa! That does sound like me.” I nodded. “And look at that funny picture of me on my driver’s license!”

“Wait a minute, where’s human Water? Didn’t I see her come in here?” Crème asked.

“Out of complete coincidence, YOUR Water it would seem, knocked on my door asking for an extra towel. I gave it to her. She’s not the one Swinebutt wanted me to get.” Lord Thorn explained.

“I don’t think Swinebutt cares. If he didn’t tell you, he would’ve given you a bonus for her.” I said.

“Way to sell out your sister, Flare.” Crème informed me with an attitude.

“What?!” I asked.

“Well then… since human Flare never showed up, I guess you’ll have to do.” Lord Thorn said as he was about to put a sack on me.

“FLARE!” Crème cried. “GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY STALLIONFRIEND!” Crème started to tackle Lord Thorn.

“Hey, get off me! I have valuables in this trench coat!” Lord Thorn yelled.

“You get him, Crèmey! That’s my girl!” I yelled in excitement.

“WILL YOU SHUT UP! We’re trying to sleep in here!” the people in the room next to us complained.

“Sorry!” I yelled. As Crème was tackling Lord Thorn, he started to yell, but quietly.

“Get off me!” Lord Thorn whispered.

“You’re not gonna kidnap my Flarey, not on my watch!” Crème whispered.

“Go Crème, go! Kick his butt!” I whispered. But just as I least expected it; I got knocked out by a baseball bat. This was a very familiar feeling, and I knew for sure that it was human Fonz Punkskull that did it. Crème was too busy beating up Lord Thorn to notice so Fonz was able to sneak up on her and knock her out too.

O-OH... OH! Wow! You should’ve seen that! When Fonz knocked Crème out with his bat, she split her legs before she passed out! Wow! Did that hurt? I have no clue! I think the bat hit hurt her more! Let’s see that again in slow-motion! Whoa! Whoa! Ha ha haaa! That was so cool! I mean it’s sad since she’s my special somepony, but that was cool! Let’s see that again one more time, splitting her legs and then reverse it many times with night club music in the background! Yes! YES! That was awesome! Ok let’s see that one last time splitting her legs and then pausing it there while ballerina music plays in the background! HA ha ha ha ha ha! That is so cool! I didn’t know Crème was that flexible! Ok, ok, I’m done. Let’s continue! Ok so Fonz knocks out me first and then Crème.

“One Flare is better than no Flare.” Fonz said. “Let’s get this guy back to our boss.” So Lord Thorn and Fonz placed me in the sack and started running off. Crème was just laying there passed out. Was it really a good idea to leave her there?

A few minutes later, we arrived at Swinebutt’s manor. Yeah I know! Hard to believe his family is rich! His pig form owns the Magic World theme park, what’s human Swinebutt’s story? Swinebutt was inside his lab in his basement with Blueberry Pie, working on an experiment. “Now I just need to set this battery here, and I have to make sure it’s in there gentley…. Gentle…. Geeeeeeentle…. Aaaaand… WALLA! My TV remote control is in working order once again!”

“Let’s give it a test drive!” Blueberry suggested as she takes the remote and turns on the TV, and then MTV comes on.

“Welcome back to MTV!” the TV announcer said. “Where we barely show music videos anymore, and we show more reality shows because… let’s face it… music stinks these days!”

“MTV was the first channel they came up.” Blueberry said. “I think the remote control is still broken.”

“No the remote control is working fine, babe.” Swinebutt corrected her as he snorted. “It’s the TV that’s broken now.”

Just then, a weird puppet thing pops up in front of Swinebutt and it cries, “Doorbell, doorbell, doorbell!” Swinebutt activates his security monitor to check who’s outside, and it was Fonz and Lord Thorn along with a huge sack that keeps shaking around.

“We have Flare, boss.” Fonz said.

“Ew! Don’t put the words ‘Flare’ and ‘boss’ together!” Swinebutt instructed them. “Anyways, come in.” Swinebutt presses a buzzard which unlocks the door and Fonz and Lord Thorn rush inside, rush down to the basement and they throw the sack down onto the floor.

“OW!” I yelled.

“Sounds like him.” Swinebutt said.

“Yes, and it was a good thing we came here in a rush. We wouldn’t stop singing songs and adding the word ‘poop’ in them.” Fonz said.

“Yeah I just thought of another one!” I said as I started to sing, “I’m gonna poop, I’m gonna poop myyyyy, I’m gonna poop my rusty cage and RUN!” I started to laugh after I sang that.

“UGH! May we please be dismissed?” Fonz asked.

“Tie him onto the chair and you can go.” Swinebutt said. So Fonz and Lord Thorn open the sack and drop me out.

“Ok so which way to the chair?” I asked. Just then Fonz and Lord Thorn pick me and start dragging me to the chiar. “Hey, HEY! I can go myself! No need to grab me! I can walk just fine, thank you very much!” They both place me on the office chair and then tie up the belt straps that were tied to the arm rests of the chair, trapping me in. “Rude! Why can’t I do it myself? Why must you lay hands on me?”

“Cause we like to make your life miserable.” Fonz said.

“I just wanted your drivers license and credit card.” Lord Thorn said.

“Leave those here, Thron. We’re not here to empty his money.” Swinebutt informed him.

“Awww, but boss?” Lord Thorn whined.

“Put them down, Thorn. We’re not here for credit fraud.” Swinebutt said and snorted.

“Awww.” Lord Thorn whined as he placed the credit card and drivers license on the table.

“Quit whining, Thorn. At least you and Fonz are getting paid.” Blueberry reminded him.

“And this is why she’s my sweetheart and my trusty assistant!” Swinebutt said.

“Awww.” Blueberry blushed.

“You two may leave now.” Swinebutt ordered them.

“As you wish.” Fonz said as he walks upstairs and leaves the house.

“I regret nothing.” Lord Thorn said as he follows him out.

“Crimson Flare Gun… I bet you were surprised about all that went on today.” Swinebutt assumed as he snorted.

“Hang on, Porky.” I stopped him as I started singing, “Exit poop! Enter food! Flush that poop! Off to poopy poopy land!” I started to laugh again. “I sang a polka number of that song earlier!”

“That’s nice, but your poop songs stink.” Swinebutt said.

“HA! Nice one!” I laughed.

“I know; that was a pretty clever pun wasn’t it?” Swinebutt asked as he snorted.

“Hey I got another one!” I said as I started singing, “I got some poop stuff baby this evening! I got some poop stuff baby tonight! I got some poop stuff baby this evening!”

“Nah, not as good as your last one. How about this one?” Swinebutt started to sing, “Why you gotta be so poop? You know that I’m pooping too?”

“That was awesome!” I said excitedly.

“That was!” Swinebutt agreed as we both laughed.

“I’m officially grossed out right now.” Blueberry said. “I’m gonna go take a shower, if you need me, Porky.”

“Ok, Blueberry! See you!” Swinebutt said. Blueberry grunts as she marches out of the basement.

“Oh that Blueberry Pie never has fun, does she? I used to tap that.” I said.

“I know.” Swinebutt said. “I set her up with you, remember?”

“Right, right.” I nodded. “No wait… Herb did it.”

“Oh that’s right, he did.” Swinebutt remembered. Wow, human me has a lot of common interests to pony me. “Anyways, Flare, are you surprised about all that happened today?”

“No I don’t. In fact-“ I stopped myself there. This Swinebutt thought I was human Flare, so I had to pretend to be human Flare so he doesn’t get suspicious about pony me being here. “Actually I do. Can you enlighten me though?”

“Always the forgetful one, huh Flare? You Guns are all alike.” Swinebutt said as he snorted. “Everyone thought you were a pony from another world.”

“Right, I heard that. Another Flare and another Water from an alternate world came to this world while I was gone, but somehow everyone forgot who I was before then. I had the feeling you’d be responsible.” I said.

“You’re a smart one, Crimson.” Swinebutt said.

“Didn’t you just say I was forgetful?” I asked. “Why call me smart then?”

“Like I was saying…” Swinebutt continued as he placed his pinky over his mouth. “I had to get rid of you somehow, so I created a forgetful machine. I needed to wipe you and your family out of existence, well… not in a harsh way, but in a way for you to at least move out of this town, or something, I dunno, but I wanted to you to feel betrayed, think your life was ruined.”

“But pony me stopped it.” I added.

“Pony you ruined my plan. So I have to do it all again. I have to use my forgetful machine AGAIN so everyone would forget about you.” Swinebutt said. “I was just fixing it up today and I finally got it working again. With this device, you and your family will be forgotten like you were never here, and this time, pony you won’t get in my way!”

“So why do you have me trapped in here?” I asked.

“To make SURE everyone has forgotten about you, you have to forget everyone else. So I have to keep you here so you wouldn’t get into any trouble, and I can wipe your memories of all the time you’ve spent here. Afterwards, since Sunset Shimmer decided to turn good, I guess I’ll have to find a way to get to Equestria and take over that land myself.” Swinebutt explained.

“What do you want from there anyways?” I asked.

“It has magic and power. If I can harvest it, I can take it back to this world and take over; create a new world order! The Swinebutts are powerful family. We are Swinebutt Industries. With our technology, we can create smart technology under my control to take over people’s minds and we’ll be even richer and more powerful than we ever were before!” Swinebutt explained. “The magic from Equestria is just what we need to help make it all possible!”

“That’s crazy, brah! There’s no such thing as magic!” I lied, and then snorted twice.

“You weren’t around during the time, so you wouldn’t understand.” Swinebutt said and snorted. “The whole school saw magic before their very eyes. I won’t explain it all to you because I’m running low on time, you see. I’ve been up late as it is, and I need my sleep.”

“Well before you go to bed, because I’m gonna forget anyway, how about telling me what that piece of garbage over there is?” I suggested as I pointed my head towards a some TV with a bunch of receivers and antennas on it.

“It is what you say it is. A piece of garbage.” Swinebutt said.

“What was it supposed to be?” I asked.

“It was supposed to a communicator to get into contact with beings beyond our universe. I postponed the project for the time being though.” Swinebutt said and snorted. “Anyways, I need to get some sleep for now. I hope you realize that your pony you is doomed.”

“I heard the portal won’t be open again for another 30 months though, so you’re a looooong way away from your achievement, my friend.” I informed him.

“I’m patient, I can wait.” Swinebutt said and snorted. “Now then… I must be on my way. Stay comfee down here, Crimson. Try to cherish your fine memories here while you still can. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!” he laughed evilly and snorted many times as he exits the basement and locks the door.

“Oh Swinebutt, you may be a super genius, but you’re also a huge moron.” I said as I looked over at the forgetting device over by the table. Swinebutt really is an idiot. When his goons tied me to this OFFICE chair… huh? OFFICE chair! Which means it has wheels! I can roll the chair around, and even spin in it! “Weeee! Weeeee!” I cried as I spun around in the office chair. “Weeee! WEEEE! WEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee… ooh…” I started to get a little dizzy.

The next morning came, and my friends all woke up from their slumber and got dressed and showered and everything. “That was really a good night sleep, wasn’t it?” Crystal asked.

“Sure was.” Aqua agreed.

“Hey you know what still puzzles me?” Water asked. “Flare and I left this world wearing a dress and a tuxedo, and yet we came back wearing our average street clothes. I don’t get that!”

“Ok… umm… quick question, which one of you was wearing the dress and which one of you was wearing the tuxedo?” Crystal asked.

“Speaking of Flare, where is he? I haven’t seen him all morning.” Blaze pointed out.

“Probably got an early start to breakfast.” Engie assumed.

“How about Crème? She’s not here either.” Blaze pointed out.

“Probably makin’ out with Flare while eatin’ breakfast.” Engie assumed. “Ah don’t get how she’s obsessed over him. There’s nothin’ special ‘bout Flare.”

“Love works in mysterious ways, Engie.” Water said.

“Says the pony that keeps getting broken up by them.” Engie reminded her.

“Now hang on! I didn’t break up with ALL of them! Not Fonz, I broke up with him.” Water reminded him.

“Yeah, whatever. It was only because Flare asked you too.” Engie said.

“That is NOT true! I saw Fonz by his true colors, which was why I broke up with him.” Water corrected him.

“But you wouldn’ve done that if you didn’t see Flare gettin’ his butt kicked by him.” Engie reminded her.

“Alright, calm down, both of ya.” Aqua suggested. “It was nothing really. It’s all a thing in the past now.”

“You only wanna drop it because you had a relationship with her once too.” Engie reminded him. Aqua sighs and shakes his head.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Aqua.” Water said.

“Ehhh.” Aqua shrugged.

“Ugh!” Crèmepop moaned as she rubbed her head as she entered the room.

“Crème? Ya alright?” Aqua asked.

“Flare… he’s… oh jeez.” Crème rubbed her head in pain.

“You should sit down, Crème. You don’t look so good.” Blaze suggested.

“Hey, shut up, Blaze! Crème looks beautiful! Don’t insult her!” Water demanded.

“Flare… he’s… he’s…” Crème stuttered.

“Flare? Did something happen to him?” Blaze asked.

“He was taken by Lord Thorn.” Crème said.

“What?!” Engie cried.

“We went to search for human Flare, but it was all a trap. Lord Thorn and one other has taken him away.” Crème said.

“You know who the other was?” Blaze asked.

“I was knocked out by the other from the back. I didn’t get a good look at him or her.” Crème said.

“Didn’t Flare say Lord Thorn was working with Swinebutt along with Blueberry Pie and Fonz Punkskull?” Psyche asked.

“It was Blueberry Pie.” Crystal said.

“Actually… come to think of it… it was probably Fonz.” Crème said.

“They probably taken him to Swinebutt!” Blaze said.

“So how are we going to fine him, genius?” Crystal asked. “This is our first time in this world. We have no idea where human Swinebutt is.”

“I’ve been in this world before, why not ask me where he is?” Water asked.

“Do you know where he is?” Crystal asked.

“No, but it would’ve been nice if you took me into consideration.” Water complained.

“Good point.” Crystal nodded.

“Good point? Really?” Psyche asked sarcastically.

“So how are we going to find him though? Who might know?” Aqua asked.

“I think I have a plan, but lemme tell you, it’ll be somewhat risky.” Psyche said.

“Ok, but can we have some breakfast first?” Crystal asked. “They have free breakfast here.”

“Embacy suites has better free breakfasts. They can make you omelets.” Engie said. So the seven of them went to breakfast, gave Sunset Shimmer a call for a ride to the school, and she shows up with another person in her car.

“Hey guys!” Sunset said.

“Hey Sunset! Thanks for offering to take us to the school. It means a lot.” Blaze said.

“I’m taking my reformation seriously.” Sunset said.

“Are you, Sunset?” Crystal asked as she smirked at her.

“What are you talking about, Crystal?” Sunset asked.

“We have someone in our world that’s ‘taking his reformation seriously’ as well, but is he really?” Crystal asked.

“What?” Sunset asked.

“She’s talking about Discord.” Psyche said.

“Yeah I read about him in my former studies. What? He’s good now?” Sunset asked.

“Sort of.” Aqua said.

“Alright, well… anyways, before I take you to the school, I found someone that you might be interested in seeing.” Sunset said as she walks over to the passenger seat of her car and places her hand on the door handle.

“WE’RE GONNA MEET KEGEN ALLEN FROM PRETTY LITTLE LIARS! WOOOO HOOO!” Crystal cheered. “I love Pretty Little Liars!”

“Umm… no.” Sunset said as she opens her car door, and the mysterious figure steps out of her car slowly.

“Oh… I was expecting more.” Crystal said.

“Sup brahs?” I asked.

“You found Flare! Thanks, Sunset! We were just going to look for him, but you saved us the trouble!” Blaze said. “Flare went missing last night but I’m glad you found him!”

“What happened to the other me? He’s not hurt is he?” I asked nervously. “I mean… how can a horse protect himself against a monster like Swinebutt?! It’s me he wants, NOT HIM!”

“Wait a minute…” Blaze said shockingly. “Is that… who I think it is?”

“Pony Noble Six, meet human Flare!” Sunset said.

“Praise the Wizards!” human me yelled. “Feel dat Miami heat! SHTAIRS! Also, I can introduce myself, thank you very much.”

“Yep… that’s human Flare.” Psyche said with an attitude.

“Aaaaaaand, human Water!” Sunset added as human Water steps out from the back seat of Sunset’s car.

“You really have to clean the junk back here, Sunset.” Human Water suggested. “All these KFC cups, empty burger wrappers, a pair of water wings… why is there a lawn mower back here?”

“Oh my gosh!” pony Water said surprisingly.

“You must be pony me!” human Water assumed.

“I love your hair!” pony Water said to her excitedly.

“I love your hair too! It’s so beautiful!” human Water said.

“Don’t they both have the same hair?” Psyche asked.

“Don’t they have the same everythin’?” Engie asked.

“Oh my gosh, human Water, you HAVE TO tell me how you got that nail polish for your fingers! They look so fabulous and sparkly and stuff!” pony Water said.

“Forget my finger nails, they’re ugly!” human Water said.

“No, they look so beautiful, and that eyeliner!” pony Water added.

“Oh the eyeliner? Wind Racer gave it to me… you know… when she still knew me.” Human Water said upsettingly.

“Awww, its ok, me.” Pony Water comforted her as she hugged her. “We’re going to fix this, don’t worry!”

“I hope so… I can’t start over in another town again! That would mean I have to get into the fashion of a new town and that takes so much work!” human Water said.

“Tell me about it!” pony Water agreed.

“Wow… if pony Water and human Water got along that quick, I bet I’d get along with my pony double really fast!” Crystal said.

“So, brahs, you need help finding Swinebutt’s manor, huh?” human me asked.

“Swinebutt’s manor?” Crème asked.

“Swinebutt Industries is a powerful company.” Human me said.

“Can you take us over there?” Blaze asked.

“I dunno CAN I?” human me teased. “Lawl!”

“Please, human Flare… we know how pony Flare is. You don’t need to reenact everything he does.” Psyche complained.

“Wow, is your Psyche as much of a buzzkill as my Psyche?” human me asked.

“Probably.” Crystal said.

“Ok, well… since we’re all friends now. How about I take you to Swinebutt’s manor?” Sunset suggested. So we all entered Sunset Shimmer’s car and she started driving us to Swinebutt’s manor so we can go rescue pony me, who is actually the one narrating this story, not human me. He’s probably making his own story on his end.

“Are you sure all of us can fit in here?” human Water asked.

“Yeah, there’s one more person in here than before.” Pony Water said.

“Are you calling me fat?” human Water asked pony Water insultingly.

“No, no! You look very pretty, human me.” Pony Water said.

“Oh for Wizard of Hope’s sake.” Human me complained. “As if one Water wasn’t bad enough.”

“You call this bad?” Blaze asked. “I’m about to meet human you, human Engie, human Crystal, and human Psyche! There’s gonna be double all of us and it might be too much for me to handle!”

“Ya didn’t say human me or human ya.” Aqua reminded him.

“Human me sounds awesome, and I’m sure human you won’t be a problem, Aqua.” Blaze said.

“Hey Sunset, I didn’t bothering tell you this before, but…” human me started.

“Yeah?” Sunset asked.

“Your check engine light is on.” Human me pointed out.

“Yeah I know. Pony you pointed it out alright.” Sunset said with an attitude.

“Well that doesn’t mean you have to… you know… listen to him?” human me asked.

“I gotta put a sticker over that light.” Sunset mumbled to herself. After a few minutes of driving, Sunset pulls up to the school.

“What are we doing here? This is Swinebutt’s manor?” Crème asked. I started to blush and chuckle a bit.

“Are you ok, Flare?” Sunset asked.

“Pony Crèmepop is making me blush.” Human me said.

“I’m s-sorry, human Flare… but… you know…” Crème giggled and blushed too. “I’m with pony you, remember?”

“Lawl I remember.” Human me nodded. Crème giggles again.

“This is gonna end awkward.” Engie commented.

“Why did we stop though?” Aqua asked.

“We need more room.” Sunset said as she exits her car.

“If we need more room, why did we leave the hotel?” Crystal asked.

“We stole the bus keys for you, Sunset Shimmer!” Snips said as she tosses Sunset some keys to the school bus.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t believe all we had to do to get it!” Snails said.

Ironically, these two dimwits just started up a cutaway gag. It’s a short one though. It just shows the bus driver (not Ms. Frizzle, a different one) tied up and put into the broom closet with Boorlie. “Prepare for the longest days of your life.” Boorlie said to him, but not clearly since the gag was still in his mouth. The cutaway ends.

“Thank you for helping me out one more time you two. Also, we’re just borrowing the bus.” Sunset corrected her.

“Say it how you want. It’s still against the rules.” Snails said as him and Snips began to walk away.

“I liked her better when she was mean and bossy. Our characteristic is being dimwitted underlings and make all other male kids look bad.” Snips said.

“No wonder Spike is underrated.” Engie said.

“C’mon, guys. Onto the bus.” Sunset instructed them.

“Where are we going?” Aqua asked.

“We’re going to pick up a few friends.” Sunset said.

“Sounds like fun. Can we stop by a drive-through and get chocolate shakes on the way?” Psyche teased.

“Oooo that sounds like fun!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Only vanilla shakes for me though. I’m keeping an eye on my weight. Gotta look good for Flare!” Crème said.

“You already look good to me!” human me said as he winked at her.

Crème blushed again and giggles. “Pony Flare! Not human Flare!”

“10 bits that pony Crème is going to accidently kiss human Flare.” Psyche whispered to Engie.

“10 bits that human Crème is going to accidently kiss pony Flare.” Engie whispered back.

“Deal!” Psyche accepted as they brofisted.

“So, Flare. Can you tell us a bit about your past at Canterlot High?” Blaze asked.

“Sure I can!” human me said as I didn’t say anything after that.

Blaze sighs. “Would you?”

“Sure I will!” human me said. “Well… I’m sure pony me didn’t have to go through what I’ve went through in the past.”

“Oh trust me, man. I don’t think you can beat our adventures.” Blaze said.

“Oh yeah?” human me asked. “I had a very bleak past. I moved to this town from down south after eighth grade. I heard great things about this school so my family moved up here. It wasn’t easy to persuade my dad, that’s for sure. He had to relocate his car stereo and alarms shop up here. I moved here, befriended five girls, and they taught me how things worked in this school. It was really different from my old school, that’s for sure. I kinda annoyed these five girls at first, but after reporting how I felt to Vice-Principle Luna, saying I wanted to relocate to another school, she helped me buckle down with my… you know… leetness… and so the girls got used to me. After a while I befriended Engie, Crystal, Blaze, Psyche, Aqua, and many others. We made our new group known as the Noble Six. Not sure why there were six of us though. I wanted us to be backups to the Humane Five, but something wasn’t quite right with that group. There wasn’t a sixth.”

“There wasn’t a Twilight?” Aqua asked.

“Who?” human me asked.

“Nevermind.” Aqua said.

“We’ve reached our first stop!” Sunset said as she opens the bus doors.

“Howdy y’all!” human Engie said as he climbs on the bus. “Please pay no attention to the shave cut on my face. Also keep lemons away from me.”

“Holy molars!” pony Engie said shockingly.

“Umm… what charade are you playin’, Sunset?” human Engie asked her.

“Pony Flare is in trouble. We need all the help we can get.” Sunset said.

“Isn’t that pony Flare right there?” human Engie asked as he pointed to human me.

“I told you a thousand times, Engie! I’m human Flare!” human me yelled.

“No, you kept blabberin’ on about you not knowin’ what ah’m talkin’ about.” Human Engie corrected human me. Sunset then starts driving the bus again.

“So, partner, did you meet Flare the same way ah did?” pony Engie asked human Engie.

“By placin’ a note on his back?” human Engie asked.

“Wow… you actually played that prank on him?” pony Engie asked. “That’s just sad. Dumber than dirt aren’t you?”

“You must watch yer tone, boy. Ah brought enough parts for a mini-sentry.” Human Engie warned him.

“You know, this isn’t the first time ah saw a double of myself.” Pony Engie said.

“Ah know what you mean. All engineers in the battlefield look the same, don’t they?” human Engie asked.

“Ah never got that. Killin’ a blue engineer is like killin’ mahself. It doesn’t feel right.” Pony Engie said.

“So how did you Engie, Flare?” Blaze asked human me.

“Weren’t you listening to him? He placed a note on my back.” Human me corrected him.

“He did?” Blaze asked.

“Nah, that story isn’t as interesting.” Human me said. “Some fake merchant guy named Lord Thorn moved to our school and were selling fake figurines of our favorite superheroes, but Engie and Crystal and I were fighting over Luke Skywalker. It’s kinda strange though because I’m not that fond over him as Chewy.”

“Is human Crystal good looking and smart like me?” Crystal asked.

“Why not ask her when we see her?” Psyche asked sarcastically.

“Why not ask her now?” Sunset asked.

“Oi! Which way to the garden party?” human Crystal asked.

“UGH! She’s British! I already hate her!” pony Crystal complained.

Human Crystal gasped as soon as she saw her replica. “Oh…”

“…Snap!” pony Crystal interrupted.

“I knew it! I knew I had an identical twin sister from Alabama!” human Crystal yelled.

“Alabama? Sounds like a place where people marry relatives.” Pony Crystal said.

“So you ARE from there!” human Crystal gasped.

“Trust me… the only relative I ever met was my distant ancestor Willow, and she’s not my type.” Pony Crystal said.

“Any stories about your adventures with Crystal?” Blaze asked human me.

“Back in mid Freshman year, the Noble Six were chosen to be male modeled icons on the school grounds. All of us except Crystal though. We decided to quit because we don’t want her to be left out.” Human me said. “There was also this one time when her boyfriend was ambushed by another girl, and I was the only witness and… well… you don’t wanna know how that was.”

“Trust me, we already do.” Aqua said as he rolled his eyes.

“Ladies and gentlemen… stallions and mares…” Sunset started. “May I present… human Aquatic Armor!”

“Please, I’d rather not have all this attention focused on me, if ya be so kind, mate.” Human Aqua requested.

“Nice armor.” Pony Aqua said.

“Thanks. Ya have nice armor too.” Human Aqua said.

“Sister been giving ya any trouble?” pony Aqua asked.

“Wow… where do I begin?” human Aqua asked.

“I met human Aqua during some sports event at our school. All students with a blood type of A+ were allowed to enter this event.” Human me said.

“Why?” Blaze asked.

“Not sure.” Human me said. “But human Aqua is very kind, and he taught me a lot about friendship during freshman year. He, like me, also had a bleak past. He was a victim of a terrorist attack in Europe. He and his sister Wind Racer were the only survivors in his village.”

“Sorry to hear that, mate.” Pony Aqua said to human Aqua.

“It was the worst day of my life.” Human Aqua said. “I don’t remember a lot of details of my past though. Amnesia, I think, and Wind Racer was too young to remember, which I thought was best.”

“Amen, brother.” Pony Aqua said.

“Now I’d like to present to you all: human Psyche Illusion!” Sunset said.

“Hello, everybody! Good to see you!” human Psyche said.

“Is that really how I talk?” pony Psyche asked. “No wonder I’m the punching bag in the group.”

“It is so fascinating to meet you!” human Psyche said to pony Psyche. “This will definitely improve in my research!”

“Hey, buddy, no need to get all straightforward here.” Pony Psyche said. “We should talk about on how carefully you are to prove universal theory to the world.”

“Universal theory?! The proof is right here in front of me!” human Psyche said excitedly.

“Yeah we met Psyche during the prom.” Human me said. “We don’t have just senior prom in this school. All grades are allowed. It all went well, until the party got crashed by a gang from a bad neighborhood in this town.”

“Did you and Psyche go to the moon at all?” Crystal asked.

“Don’t be stupid! We’re just teenagers! We went to space camp together though!” human me said. “And of course we did have that long detention one time. We were detention buddies! I also helped Psyche out in becoming Junior-Body President, but Swinebutt kinda crashed that.”

“Hey everyone! We all going to be kicking Swinebutt’s big fat swine butt, huh?” human Blaze asked.

“You know it, bro!” pony Blaze yelled excitedly.

“I met Blaze when he was in another school.” Human me said. “My friend Rainbow Dash really missed him after he ran away.”

“Human me can’t be a freak of nature though.” Pony Blaze said. “I mean… do draconians even exist in this world?”

“I used to have a huge nose.” Human Blaze said. “I was laughed at a lot so I ran away. I got surgery on it, but I was too afraid to come back. I eventually did come back after unknown reasons.

“I found you and brought you back!” human me reminded him. “Human Blaze and me are like brothers! We one time switched lifestyles, but it turns out I wasn’t good at sports, and he wasn’t the best in video games or making pizza. Blaze also entered a wrestling tournament in our school but that got a little out of hand. He lost epically, but then Fluttershy saved his butt!”

“THAT I remember.” Human Blaze said.

“Unfortunately though.” Pony Blaze added. “Not the way I wanted it to end.”

“And last but not least…” Sunset started.

“KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” human me cried.

“Um… no.” Sunset said. “Human Crèmepop!”

“Ah even better! My girlfriend since junior year!” human me said.

“Since a couple of days ago actually.” Human Crème corrected human me.

Human me suddenly glared at her. “If you don’t remember all I had to go through to save you from Swinebutt. I don’t think you’re worth my time.” Human Crème started to tear up, but it stopped after she saw her pony double. They pair started sniffing eachother and observed eachother very carefully.

“Uhh… what’s their problem?” pony Engie asked.

“Crème’s a jungle girl, remember?” pony Blaze reminded him. “Flare says she sometimes acts all animal-like. I suggested to him to take her to a doctor, but Flare kept saying he loves it. Her wild-like ways is something Flare considers to be ‘hot’.”

“Human Crème’s the same way.” Human Blaze said. “She lived in Madagascar for a small time.”

“I like to move it, move it! We like to move it, move it!” both of the Crystals sang.

“You smell good, I like you.” Human Crème said to pony Crème.

“You smell good too.” Pony Crème said. “Except for that too much perfume.”

“Sorry. Sunset Shimmer said we’re going to rescue Flare, but… isn’t he right here?” human Crème asked.

“After all this time you’ve been seeing doubles of everyone, have you not considered that it’s my double we’re saving?” human me complained.

“Ok! We have everyone! Now let’s go to Swinebutt’s manor!” Sunset said.

“Why are we all here though?” human Water asked.

“Wow… took us a while to finally talk.” Pony Water complained…. or was it the other way around? Maybe human Water said this and pony Water said the last dialogue, but… I’m not sure. I can’t tell the difference between the two. Everybody looks exactly alike.

“Swinebutt has hefty security in his manor. If we’re to get pony Flare outta there, and undo the memory erasing of human Flare’s existence, we’ll need all the help we can get.” Sunset explained.

“Makes sense, but there hasn’t been an obstacle created by Swinebutt that I couldn’t overcome.” Human me said.

“Yet!” human Crystal added.

“So Flare, about Crèmepop.” pony Blaze started.

“I found out she’s been stalking be since I was in my old schools, and helping me out. We took more classes together, and she fell in love with me, while I fell in love with Pinkie.” Human me explained.

“You do realize all that you’ve been through, pony Flare has been through right?” pony Blaze asked.

“I’ve been explaining everything to YOU. You never told me ANYTHING about pony Flare yet.” Human me reminded him.

“Right.” Pony Blaze understood.

“So we have to plan this out somehow. What are we to expect in Swinebutt’s manor?” pony Psyche asked.

“Well he’s got this VERY complicated security system that is VERY difficult to hack.” Human Engie said.

“Have you ever hacked it before?” pony Engie asked.

“Ah did, but it’s not easy, believe me on that.” Human Engie said.

“Ah believe me, so ah believe you too! Dibs on me helpin’ you out.” Pony Engie suggested.

“Dibs accepted!” human Engie nodded.

“So we have both Engies working on the security system. What else is there to do?” pony Psyche asked.

“The power box. Someone would need to cut the power in order for safe passage inside.” Human Psyche said.

“So if we can cut the power, why hack security? Security will be shut down anyway.” Pony Psyche pointed out.

“Someone will need to hack the doors open. If we shut off the power before the Engies hack the doors, they’ll stay locked.” Human Psyche explained.

“But that’s not all, there’s an emergency generator inside the house that’ll turn on the power again in 30 seconds.” Human Engie said. “So if we turn off the power, someone’s gotta get inside quickly before the power comes back on, and then there’ll be a security lockdown. We won’t be able to hack it afterwards.”

“We’ll handle power detail.” Pony Psyche said.

“Hmph! Weaklings!” human Crystal mumbled.

“But the emergency generator is inside the basement of the house. Someone fast enough will have to run down there and deactivate it.” human Engie said.

“I just know you’re eager to do that, right Blaze?” human Blaze asked pony Blaze.

“No one’s faster than us!” pony Blaze said. “But then again, I just learned how to use these legs yesterday, so it might be a challenge.”

“Yeah but when the generator shuts down, the doors will be locked again, so someone will have to go in through the chimney, because it’s the only entrance left, and locate the keys to the doors of the house which are located in the kitchen.” Human Engie said.

“D’EEEH! ALRIGHT YOU KIDDIES!” human Blaze said in a Santa accent. “This course is called the fun course. You having fun yet, kiddies? Are you having fun?”

“Ok, how about trying to have a little more fun this time?” pony Blaze played along.

“But why go through all the trouble hacking and shutting down the generator when you can go down the chimney?” pony Water asked.

“There are security turrets, cameras, and power locks inside; that’s why.” Human Engie said. “But the chimney is a tight spot though so somebody skinny enough is going to have to handle that.”

“We’re already handling power detail.” Human Psyche reminded him.

“We should do it. We’re pretty acrobatic.” Human Crèmepop volunteered.

“Whoa! Volunteer us both why doncha?” pony Crème complained.

“Your boyfriend is inside that manor! Don’t you wanna rescue him?!” human Crème reminded her.

“I do, but I wanted to be the one to… you know… actually rescue him!” pony Crème said.

“Yeah, we need people to handle Swinebutt himself, and his goons if they’re there. Us, the Crystals, the Crèmes, the Waters, and Flare will handle all of them.” Human Blaze suggested.

“Why didn’t you say MY name in plural?!” human me complained. “I hate being left out!”

“We’re rescuing that you, remember?” human Blaze reminded him.

“I know, but still!” human me complained.

“What about us?” human Aqua asked.

“Don’t we get to do something?” pony Aqua asked.

“Yes… make us some refreshments. We’ll be thirsty after.” Pony Engie instructed them. Both of the Aquas sigh.

“Which leaves Sunset Shimmer to be our ride outta here.” Human Blaze said.

“Once you rescue Flare and retrieve the memory forgetting device, come back out here quickly and I’ll drive us off.” Sunset said.

“What does the thingy look like anyway?” human me asked.

“You’ll know it when you see it.” Sunset said.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.” Human me said.

“I’m stopping the bus right here.” Sunset said as she stops the bus. “When you give me the signal, I’ll come pick you up, and we’ll head back to CHS to fix everyone’s memories.”

“Got it!” both Blazes said.

“Anyone would like any jelly-babies before we go?” human Psyche asked.

“Ahhhh! You read my mind, me!” pony Psyche said. Sunset Shimmer parks the bus across the street from Swinebutt’s manor, and she opens the doors.

“Give ‘em hell…ibut!” Sunset said.

“What?” pony Water asked.

“Make them… fish. I dunno.” Sunset shrugged. “Go get ‘em!”

“Let’s go!” human Blaze yelled as everyone runs out of the bus and starts charging towards Swinebutt’s manor and was about to start the mission. Although, somebody suddenly opens the front the door of the manor.

“Somebody’s coming out! We should jump ‘em!” human Crystal whispered.

“On our mark.” Pony Crystal whispered.

“On YOUR mark? YOUR mark? HA! Good one, Crystals!” human Psyche chuckled.

“Get set… GO!” both Crystals yelled as all of the pony and human replicas began charging to Swinebutt’s manor and started to charging to whoever was coming out of his manor. You think its Swinebutt, right? Wrong! It was me! Well… I guess some of you knew it was me. It had to be either me or him, right? Everybody stopped charging towards the manor when they saw me with a mysterious device in my hand.

“Oh sup brahs?” I asked. “I was just about to look for you! Thanks for saving me the trouble!”

“Flare?! How did… you just…” human Blaze stuttered.

“Ok I think I’m really messed up right now because I swear I’m seeing double of everybody.” I said.

“Actually, its human Noble Six and pony Noble Six united.” Human Psyche said.

“We came in attempt to rescue you.” Pony Psyche said.

“Thanks for your concern, but there’s no need! I am A-alright!” I said. “Oh, HEY! You found human me!”

“My pony alternate! This is so totally awesome, brahs!” human me said excitedly.

“How did ya get out of there anyway?” pony Aqua asked.

“Well first off…” I started. “Fonz and Lord Thorn tied me to an office chair, so it was easy to move around once Swinebutt left the room.”

“Swinebutt wasn’t always a clever human being.” Human me said.

“After that I had to somehow untie the belts that tied my arms onto the arm rest. I tried using my teeth but my teeth hurt; I guess the reason is that I forgot to pack a tooth brush.” I said.

“Brushing is important. Twice a day, everyday.” Human Crystal said.

“So I used Swinebutt’s laser gun because… hey, all evil villains have a cool laser gun!” I said. “I used it to shoot off the belt, burning my wrist a bit, and then I took Swinebutt’s forgetting device here.” I explained as I showed everyone the device. Everyone gasped once they saw it.

“That’s it, Flare! You found it!” pony Blaze yelled. “That’s the key to making everyone remember human Flare and human Water!”

“I know, that’s why I took it. I didn’t know how to get outta that house. Swinebutt wasn’t there, but Blueberry Pie was. I used the device on her, making her think she works for me, and… still my girlfriend for a short time…” I chuckled. “And she made me a delicious BLT!”

“HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!” pony Crème yelled at me.

“What?” I asked.

“What did you just say before?” pony Crème asked angrily.

“Blueberry Pie made me a delicious BLT?” I asked.

“YES! What the heck is a BLT?!” Crème yelled.

“Well… it’s a sandwich… the L and the T was lettuce and tomato… I’m not sure what a B is though.” I said. “But lemme tell you something weird about the B. I don’t know why, but I tasted sweet justice after eating it! Just like when I ate those porkchop last time I was here!”

“I wonder why pork related products always give you that feeling?” pony Water asked.

“I wonder too.” I said. “Oh well… at least Porker Swinebutt has been defeated and we can use this thing to bring back everyone’s memories of alternate me!”

“There is so much I need to tell you about my life, dude.” Human me said to me.

“There is so much I need to tell you about mine too!” I said. “But first…” I activate the device and I shoot it on every human Noble Six member.

“Hmm… I’m starting to remember something.” Human Psyche said.

“I am too.” human Aqua said.

“FLARE! You are a sight for soar memories!” human Blaze said to human me excitedly.

“The Noble Six are together once again in whole!” human Crystal said excitedly.

“Who are you all?” human me asked them.

“Ehh… close enough.” I said. “So how about everyone else?”

“Yeah, we can do that tomorrow.” Human Psyche said.

“Why tomorrow? Why not today?” pony Water asked.

“It’s Sunday.” Human Psyche said.

“Sundaaaaaaaaaaaaay!” Pony Psyche echoed.

“School’s closed.” Human Psyche said.

“Oh… so… what are we going to do until then?” human Water asked.

“Who’s up for a field trip?” Sunset Shimmer asked as she pulled up the bus in front of the manor.

“You’re NOT Ms. Frizzle!” pony Crystal yelled. “Field trips are only fun when she’s around!” So we had some fun today in the human world. We did find SOME students from Canterlot High today so we decided to help them remember human me and human Water, and it turns out… more students disliked them than I thought. The next day came, and we finished the job. Luckily everyone was at school today. No absences whatsoever. Well… mainly because we got Principle Celestia to call up everyone that has been at school in the past week because they’re the only ones that forgot. Afterwards, everything was back to normal. Well… almost. Both human and pony Noble Sixes and companions were standing in front of the school after a job well done.

“Welcome back, Flare!” human Woodenshy said as he walked by.

“Couldn’t see the school without you, Water!” another student walked by and said.

“Leet to have you back, Flare!” another student said.

“Thanks, brahs, and thank you horsies.” Human me said. “If it weren’t for you, I’d still be forgotten.”

“Excuse me? I did all the work, remember?” I reminded him. “Why you congratulating them?”

“No clue, but its necessary.” Human me said.

“True dat.” I said.

“It’s so good to have you back, Flarey! I missed YOU so much!” human Crème said as she gave me a kiss.

“Excuse me?! What do you think you’re doing?!” pony Crème yelled at her.

“Wait a minute… which Flare are you again?” human Crème asked me.

“I’m pony Flare.” I said.

“O-oh…” human Crème blushed. “I’m human Crème.”

“That’s 10 bits, Psyche!” pony Engie reminded him as he chuckled.

“Always the lucky one, Engie.” Pony Psyche sighed as he paid him for winning the bet.

“Now hold that bet, you two.” Human me stopped them. “Pony Crème kissed me too.”

“Really?” pony Engie asked.

Just then, human me crouches down and gives pony Crème a big kiss. As pony Crème’s face turned red, human me said, “So it’s a tie.”

“DID YOU JUST CHEAT ON ME?!” human Crème yelled at human me.

“Relax, babe, she’s you.” Human me corrected her.

“Well… we should be going back to Equestria, just as soon as Frizzle shows up.” Pony Aqua said.

“Well it’s been awesome having you here! It was great to finally meet the pony versions of us!” human Blaze said.

“Ya will come back someday, right?” human Aqua asked.

“Maybe I will, I dunno about them.” I said. “Still seems weird having double in this world.”

“But now that I’m back. What are you going to do?” human me asked.

“Well… let’s put it to this way. If you need any horsey help, I’m glad to switch places with you Flare. You can come to my world and take over as me.” I suggested.

“But then I’d be missing out on the fun here.” Human me complained.

“No you won’t, because you will be here, if you know what I mean.” I reminded him.

“Right, of course! You’re me, so… I guess if you’re here… I won’t miss a thing!” human me said.

“Rightyo, buddyo!” I said. “Anyways, it’s been a week since we been back to Ponyville. I promised Bonnie, Lyra, and the fishies that I’d be back in two days after we delivered that mirror to the Crystal Empire!”

“It’s interesting how the simplest adventures could turn out to be really big.” Pony Water said.

“All aboard the magic school bus!” Frizzle yelled from her school bus.

“That’s our ride. We should be going now.” pony Blaze said.

So we all said our goodbyes as we all climbed into the magic school bus for our return to Equestria, but before I went on the bus, I stopped myself and ran back to pony Noble Six- I mean, human Noble Six, sorry about that, and I said to human me, “Hey do six have a band?”

“No, why?” human me asked.

“Make yourself a polka band. You’ll need the power of polka by your side to survive the remaining high school days.” I suggested.

“The power of polka, huh? I never took that into consideration. I do play a mean accordion.” Human me said.

“Us too! But we’ve done polka in the past and it saved our lives. I think you should do it too. It might help.” I suggested.

“We did play a polka musical number with pony Flare before he left.” Human Aqua said.

“Well that sounds like a very good idea! The power of polka compels us all.” Human me said.

“You betcha!” I said. “Anyways, time for me to go. I’ll see you all in 30 months!”

“Bye!” they all said to me, but not just the word ‘bye’. Some of them said other things too like ‘be safe’, ‘drive careful’, ‘don’t let the door hit you on the way out’, but no need to go into detail there. Anyways, that’s it. Human me and human Water is now remembered and back to where they belong. The magic school bus starts to fly away and then it travelled through a dimensional vortex to take us back to Equestria, but as we left…

“Ponies are nice. I sometimes wish I could go back to Equestria.” Sunset Shimmer admitted.

“Don’t worry about it, Sunset. Sometimes I wish too.” human Crystal said. “In fact… I think I am now!”

“What?” Sunset asked.

“Human me and pony me might’ve… switched places. I’m not sure though. I can’t remember. Oh dang… I DON’T REMEMBER!” human Crystal freaked out. “How do I know who went on the bus and who stayed?! How do I know you’re not pony Blaze!”

“I’m pretty sure I am.” Human Blaze said.

“Hey Sunset Shimmer!” a random student yelled out at her.

“Yes?” Sunset asked curiously. Just then, a pile of garbage was thrown on her.

“YOU STINK! We heard you stole the bus! You’ll never be reformed, LOSER!” the students yelled at her.

“I agree!” human Discord said. “How can you be reformed after being evil? That’s technically impossible!” he started to chuckle.

“Don’t give up, Sunset.” Human Aqua comforted her.

“I won’t.” Sunset smiles. “It’s going to be hard to win everyone’s trust. I guess I’ll just have to be patient and wait.” Just then, a frisbee gets thrown on her nose. “OW! HEY!”

“HA-HA!” Nelson Muntz laughed at her.

“Now there’s only one thing left to do.” Human me said as he grasps the forgetting device on the strength of his hand.

“What are you going to do with that thing, bro?” human Water asked.

“I’m going to wipe Swinebutt’s memories about me. This’ll bring an end to his charades once and for all!” human me said.

“Ok, ok.” Human Engie nodded. “Hey, here’s a better idea.”

“What?” human me asked.

“THIS!” human Engie yelled as he snatches the forgetting device out of my hand, throws it on the ground and then smashes it with everything he can find. His foot, a jackhammer, the hammer near the statue in front of the school, a pile of cinder blocks, and then he burns the pieces with a flamethrower.

“Are you a spy?” human Crystal asked. “Only Pyro can use flamethrower, not you!”

“Why did you do that Engie?!” human me yelled. “I would’ve gotten ride of Swinebutt for good!”

“Would you want to risk Swinebutt takin’ it from you? It’s done, partner.” Engie said. “We can’t let this thing control people’s minds anymore. We don’t want to risk losin’ you again.”

“You know, brah, you might actually lose me when Swinebutt finally destroys me.” human me reminded them.

“We’ll be ready for him, man! We’re together again, and that’s all that matters!” human Blaze said.

“I could’ve made better friends when I moved away.” Human me complained as he walked away angrily.

“He’ll get over it. He always does.” Human Water said. “I’ll just take him to get ice cream.”

Meanwhile, over at Swinebutt’s manor. Swinebutt was having a complete meltdown. Smashing everything he could find. He was like Trevor from GTA 5 after the Merrywhether Heist. “I TRUSTED YOU WITH ONE THING, BLUEBERRY! ONE THING!” Swinebutt yelled at her and snorted. “And not just you… but Lord Thorn and Fonz too! You all messed up big time! Now human Flare is back, and once the Noble Six spread the word of what I done, it’ll be the end!”

“How dare you talk about my boss that way?!” Blueberry yelled at him.

“Right, he used the memory device on you.” Swinebutt remembered as he sighed and snorted. “Well… that’s it then. I’m going mean nothing to that school now. It’s gonna be another 30 months until I’m able to get the power I need, but the school might stop me before then. What am I going to do?” Just then, the Skype call ring tone started playing on one of Swinebutt’s devices. “Wait a minute. That’s the… that’s my universal communicator! I was never able to get that working!”

“Flare Gun is your better.” Blueberry said angrily at him. Just then, Swinebutt answers the call on his device and on the other line was the Swinebutt from Equestria.

“Hello, Dr. Swinebutt! It is I, Dr. Swinebutt!” pig Swinebutt said as he chuckled and snorted.

“That’s impossible. I was never to get this universal communicator working! How did you get it working?” Swinebutt asked.

“Magic.” Swinebutt said as he snorted twice.

“Which is what I need from your world. I’ve been trying since the universal transport mirror was active, but now it’s not. YOUR Flare ruined my plans!” human Swinebutt said.

“I know, Boorlie here told me everything.” Pig Swinebutt said as he pointed to pony Boorlie who was tied up on an office chair.

“Ah, Boorlie Pomodoro! He actually helped Flare, believe it or not.” human Swinebutt said.

“Well then, that was unexpecting.” Pig Swinebutt said. “Anyways, I’d be glad to help you- err, me out in getting magic, but there’s something I need from your world as well.”

“What’s that?” human Swinebutt asked.

“Fossil fuels and oil. Something Equestria doesn’t have, but your world does.” Pig Swinebutt said.

“Indeed we do.” Human Swinebutt said and snorted. “Maybe we can finally work together to help each of us take over our world. I could use another assistant that was from your world. My old one kinda… well… let’s just say she retired being evil.”

“That’s unfortunate.” Pig Swinebutt said and snorted. “I’ll speak to you again soon. Once I have word of the universal portal opening again, which is going to be in 30 months, we’ll arrange a meeting, until then… ta-ta!”

“Ta ta!” human Swinebutt said as the transmission ended. Back in pig Swinebutt’s end, Swinebutt begins to chuckle evilly.

“Until that time comes, I’ll still plan Flare’s downfall, but to get what I truly desire, it’ll have to wait a little while.” Swinebutt said as he placed his pinky near his mouth. “What you say Boorlie? Your information was quite- oh… you escaped.” Yeah, Boorlie was gone. “I must remember to NEVER trap a prisoner in an office chair ever again; or leave my devices hanging around!”

Ok, that’s it! Phew! That was long for a bonus DLC chapter! I thought I was never gonna be done with this! Anyways, all that’s happened here is going to lead on to the second Equestria Brahs story. Thanks for reading, fellow FiE fans! After you finish reading Book 3, I’ll see you in Equestria Brahs 2 – Hooked on Polkas!

Author's Note

There here DLC chapter I made because I didn't think of putting human Flare and human Water into the Equestria Brahs story, so now I'm putting them in, and now you understand what happened to them and why they were abscent during the time. This chapter also sets up for the sequel I'm making for this. Equestria Brahs 2 - Hooked on Polkas is going to take place at the same time as Rainbow Rocks took place in.

Now the original ending to Equestria Brahs wasn't a Back to the Future reference, it was the pony Noble Six and pals meeting the human Noble Six and pals, but that felt pretty dumb so I changed it, and now I recycled that "gag" and made it into a full chapter. Equestria Brahs 2 is going to be made while I'm making Book 3 and the FDA spin-off, but it won't be released until after chapter 28 of Book 3.