Pinkie to None

by PonyPon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 8455

The Mistress of Party gets out-Pied and out-Pinkied

Pinkie Pie has her super-terrific day ruined when a mysterious new pony outdoes her six ways from Sunday. With only Fluttershy to help her, can Pinkie catch the culprit, or must she relinquish her title as Best Party Pony Forever?

Published 2013-08-22 21:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-16 18:55:16 UTC

Late to the Party

It was a bright, sunny day in Ponyville.

Fluttershy, weighed down by buckets of soapy, briny water and scrubbing brushes, watched Pinkie pronk around her in the happy fashion she was known for. They were headed back to town after running a quick errand.

"Pinkie, I wanna thank you for helping me scrub the barnacles off Mr. Squidsor," she said, referring to the large squid that inhabited Ponyville's lake.
"and I think you're really brave for high fiving that shark in midair. I can tell he really appreciated the thought."

"Teehee! I know a sad fishy face when I see one, Flutters!" Pinkie giggled.
"And just because that face has hundreds of pony-snacking teeth doesn't mean it can't smile!" she said, idly brushing a hoof over her flank, a faint outline of a bite visible.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that." Fluttershy murmured as they began to approach the other limits of Ponyville proper.
"S'alright Flu-" Pinkie stopped hopping mid-sentence in front of the pegasus, and ignored her crashing into her backside. As she gathered herself, she craned her neck around the pink pony to see what stopped her. Fluttershy could see her staring at a another pony bringing furniture and quite a few potted plants into a house.

The stallion was tall, somewhat lanky, and a unicorn. His coat was a dark shade of purple, with an array of pale spots on his back. He seemed to have no mane and his leafy green tail was cut short. On his flank was a red mushroom with white spots. He had light green eyes and kept his ears down, giving one the impression that he was constantly worried. And neither Fluttershy nor Pinkie Pie had ever seen him before.

"Oh, I think that pony must be new to-" was all Fluttershy was able to say before Pinkie dashed off in a puff of dust.
"-town."

The pony in question was carrying a larger plant resembling a pitcher into his home when he heard the unfamiliar squeal of a Pinkie Pie Ponyville Greeting.
"HI!"
"Eyaaaaaa!"

The pony dove into the hanging bulb of the plant he was trying to bring inside. He shut its lid and trembled in fear, causing the entire thing to shake violently. Pinkie, surprised at his reaction, taped the plant lightly.
"Anybody home?" she asked playfully. The plant opened up slowly, and the newest addition to the town stuck his head out sheepishly.

"Wh-who are you?" he asked, his voice full of fear.
"I'm Pinkie Pie, and I would like to personally welcome you to Ponyville!"
"Well that's nice, but I..."
"You just sit tight, I'm gonna bust out my welcome wagon and give you a proper greeting."
"That, uh, won't be necessary."
"Why?" Pinkie asked, as he started to carefully climb out.
"I've already had quite the enthusiastic greeting to your town already."

Pinkie gasped.
"You have?!"
"Yeah. Some little pony brought me a cake, sang me a song, gave me the works."

Pinkie stumbled back and fell on her rump, unable to believe what she was hearing. Somepony had really given a new pony the full Pinkie Welcome Wagon Experience. Without the Pinkie Pie! She turned back to the new pony, who was rummaging around in the remainder of his belongings. He pulled out a shiny, cap-shaped object.

"She even gave me this delightful little thing. Told to keep it on me for something big she had planned."
The object turned out to be a mushroom, not unlike his cutie mark, but plated in polished gold.

And she's giving out gold?! Pinkie screamed inwardly. She shook her head. What pony could possibly do this?
She didn't notice at first when Fluttershy finally caught up to her, huffing from the extra weight.

"So, Pinkie, whew, did you welcome the new pony?"
"No, Fluttershy, because someone already did!" she shouted.
"Somebody's trying to steal my job!"

Fluttershy set down her supplies, weary from carrying them.
"Well, I'm sure they don't mean anything by it." she reasoned.
"Maybe they just want to be...more like you?"

Pinkie thought about it for a moment, and broke into a wide grin.
"Fluttershy, you're right!" she exclaimed, bouncing once again. She rubbed her hoof on her chest, giving it a smug look.
"My positive Pinkieness must be rubbing off on ponies."

She trotted over to the stallion.
"Hey, what's your name?"
"It's, uh, Death Cap."
"Well, Cappy, if you see that pony again, let her know she's free to cover for me anytime."
"You know, it's odd. I can't seem to remember her name."

The pink pony shrugged, "Well, I'm sure she-YOWCH!" She suddenly sprang up from a sharp pain in her flank. Turning, she saw a green, rounded head without eyes digging its jaws into her bottom.

"No! Bad Arthur!" Death Cap scolded the plant as he tugged it off Pinkie.
"We do not eat new neighbors!"
He took the mischievous plant inside, berating it all the while.

As Pinkie and Fluttershy neared Sugarcube corner, the pinker pony was still wincing from her twice bitten buttock.
"I must be way too tasty today, Flutters." she concluded, while pushing open the doors.

Inside was a common sight: Mr. Cake kneading dough, Mrs. Cake mixing, and the twins playing with two golden cakes reminiscent of their parents' cutie marks.

Pinkie's jaw dropped.
"Uh, good morning everypony!" she said, her smile becoming unsure.
"Hello, Pinkie. Hello, Shy."
"Hello, dearies."
"So, uh, did I miss anything?"

Mrs. Cake set down her bowl of batter.
"Why, yes. This incredible pony came by and she really got us off to good start."
Pinkie began to take deep breaths, her temper rising.
"Oh, huff, did she?"

"My, yes! Me and Carrot woke up this morning to the sound of a beautiful flute. She was sitting on our windowsill. We were scared at first, but the sound of her playing was so gentle, we let her play."
"And she didn't stop there," her husband chimed in.
"Once we were dressed and came downstairs, we found her, not only feeding the twins, but had set out the best looking breakfast I've ever seen!"

"I usually make breakfast..." Pinkie grumbled. Mrs. Cake ignored her.
"It's like she went out of her way to give us the best morning ever!" she said excitedly.
"Oh, you remember that little puppet show she gave before she left, Cuppy?"
"Do I ever! I couldn't understand a word of it, but I don't remember laughing so hard in my life!"

Pound Cake suddenly threw up his tiny front hoofs and proclaimed, "Bah!"
To which his parents pointed and answered, "Turpentine!" before they all went into a fit of giggles.
Pinkie didn't get it.

"Um," Fluttershy interjected, fearing the uncharacteristic look of contempt on Pinkie's face. "What was her name? Did she say where she was going?"
Still chuckling, Carrot went over to a counter, swiping up a scroll before answering.
"I don't recall, to be honest. But she did offer to make an early delivery of supplies to Twilight's library; just a few bags of flour. And she also told me to give 'that other mare that works here', this." he handed her the letter.

Pinkie quickly unrolled it and scowled at the contents.

YoUr pane Has Only BEGONE.
I'll bee Back to finnish de jobe.
You StInK!
Love,
-Help sraigtinė from the start.

Fuming, Pinkie stomped back out the door, pushing past the yellow pegasus.
"What's wrong, Pinkie?" she asked, concerned.
Pinkie shoved the letter from the mystery mare down at her feet.
Fluttershy gave it a quick look.
"Oh my, that doesn't sound very nice at all."
"I know! C'mon, Fluttershy, we have to get to Twilight's tree, pronto!"

No Gifts

Pinkie speedily made her way to Twilight's Treebrary with Fluttershy close behind. She had only grown more and more put off by her unknown challenger. Everywhere she looked, she saw ponies that she would normally love to hang out with. But today, they all held their own shiny little trinkets, swapping stories about the fantastic mare that was oh-so generous and helpful. It made Pinkie furious. So blindingly angry she never saw Twilight's front door before smacking into it.

"Oh! are you alright?" Fluttershy asked, concerned. Pinkie leapt up.
"Of course I am! Do you know why?! Because we've got that mare now!" she exclaimed before kicking the door in.

There was no immediate response to the two ponies' intrusion. But it wasn't long before they heard the familiar pitter-patter of Spike's feet as he came to investigate the noise. As his head came into view, Fluttershy couldn't suppress a scream.

The young dragon's face seemed to be trapped in some kind of metal contraption. It resembled some sort of bear trap, except it was already shut, and looped all the all the way around his head, with clamps in place that pushed his mouth forcibly closed. There was a padlock to the side of the device. Oddly, it had no space for a key.

"Spike! Who did this!? Get that thing off!" Fluttershy panicked. She dove for him, scrambling her hooves everywhere looking for a way to detach the mask. Spike tried to push her back, but she relentlessly tried to tug off his ghastly accessory. He ran from her, going back up the stairs. Fluttershy and Pinkie followed him.

Spike dove into Twilight's kitchen. Upon going in themselves, they could see a chest, filled to the brim with shining gems. There were amethysts, tiger-eyes, emeralds, even a few fire rubies here and there. Spike sprang from the box, with a handful of the booty, tossing it into a nearby mixing bowl. Throwing his claws up, he waited for the two to comprehend. They simply stared, confused.

Slumping a bit, Spike picked up a blank piece of parchment and quill, and started scribbling something down. Pinkie noted the quill was gold in color, causing a twinge of anger in her. Once finished with the note, the dragon handed it to them. Fluttershy quickly scanned the contents.

"Ohhh, I see. Sorry, Spike."
Spike merely shrugged in response. Pinkie snatched the paper from Fluttershy to read it herself.

Guys, stop! I'm alright.
Some mare came by earlier and gave me a chest full of gems. She said it was for the gem cake I tried to make one time.
I was gonna thank her, but she put this thing on me. She said it would come off when the cake was done.
And she gave me this cool quill.

PS.Only 3 layers left!

Pinkie crumpled up the note and tossed it.

"So, this thing is supposed to stop you from eating the gems?" Fluttershy asked.
Spike nodded, taking a single gem from the chest and tapping it against where mouth would be, showing his inability to have gluttony have its way like last time.

"Great, just great!" Pinkie said, exasperated.
"First she steals my job, now she's wiring little dragons' mouths shut and forcing them to bake cakes!"
"That was kinda rude of her not to ask first." Fluttershy admitted.
"Exactly! She's gotta be stopped! Where did she go, Spike?"

Spike procured another sheet of paper and quickly doodled two shapes. He showed it to them, revealing some kind of fruit and a strangely star-shaped object. Pinkie understood completely, grabbing Fluttershy by the tail and running back through the door, leaving Spike to his baking.

A small rabbit hopped up to the fence, its little nose twitching. The structure looked different today, shinier than usual, but no matter. He would climb through the holes anyway, and there were no big, mean earthies around to stop-

Bzzzzzrrrrrt!

After feeling the burning sensation of thousands of tiny strikes on his body, the rabbit was thrown back quite a distance from the booby-trapped fence. Were he a tad more conscious, he would have heard the heard the guffawing of a certain apple farming earthie.

"Oho, I tell you, Big Mac. It's gonna be awhile before that gets old."
"Eeyuup."
"Oh wait, look, he goin' for it again!"

The rabbit had indeed recovered, and began to make for the fence on wobbly haunches. It grabbed hold of one of the fence's posts. From a hidden panel, a metallic claw slid out and snatched the animal by the ears. As it struggled, a second compartment opened, this one revealing a boxing gloved appendage. The claw held the scared rabbit aloft as the glove wound itself up. Just as the first arm tossed the rabbit upwards, the second launched at the animal with a vicious uppercut. The force of the blow sent him sailing down the road leading to Sweet Apple Acres.

Applejack let loose another howl of laughter.

Fluttershy was struggling to keep up with Pinkie at this point. She had kept up with Pinkie's burning rage at this pony that kept one-upping her, but her steam was running out. Had she not been startled by something abnormally fuzzy landing in a tree, she would have given up and gone home right then.

"Oh my! Who did this to you?! You poor thing!" she said, cradling the nigh comatose bunny, with a lightly singed pelt and a black eye. She felt another hard tug on her tail.

"C'mon, Fluttershy! We don't have time for burnt bunnies! The fun-stealing fiend might strike again!" she urged, quickly setting off again. The pegasus followed reluctantly, still holding the injured innocent. Once they made it to the opening gates of the orchard, Pinkie took a deep breath and screamed.

"APPLEJAAAACK!" her voice rang shrilly, scaring several birds and even scattering a few fruit bats. As the echo died down, the mare in question ran out over her fields, skidding to a stop.

"Hi Pinkie, Fluttershy. What got you so riled up?"
"Do you have any gold on you?!"
"Sugarcube, I don't know what-"
"DO YOU!?" she screamed, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.
"Okay! Yes ah do!" she responded, leaping back.

The farmer took off her hat, and retrieved from it a golden apple. Pinkie was less than pleased.

"Uggggh! So, what did that pony give you, Aj?"
Applejack straightened herself up.

"Well, if you're so desperate to know, Pinkie, she installed a nice new fence around the orchard. Comes with its own defenses! Normally, I wouldn't cotton to all its bells and whistles, but..." she took one apple from a nearby bin and chucked it at the fence. Quite suddenly, a mechanical arm holding a wooden bat swung at the fruit, sending it back into Applejack's outstretched hoof.

"Didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't want it." she smiled, taking an idle bite of her slightly bruised fruit.
"I-Is that what happened to this poor bunny!?" she asked, shoving the still fatigued creature in Applejack's face. Her eyes went wide, and she began to look uneasy.

"Oh! Well, its pretty diligent to its job, Fluttershy. Y-You know how it is, right?" Fluttershy set her friend down gently then turned on Applejack. There was a dead seriousness in her usually gentle eyes. Honestly, it terrified the earth pony.

"Applejack..." she said slowly, moving ever closer to her, "you'd better take down that fence, or so help me!-"

"What else did she do here, Aj? Did she walk your dog, do your laundry? Buck your apples for you!?" Pinkie interrupted.
Grateful for a reason to tear away from the pegasus's disapproving glare, Applejack answered.

"No, no, she just put in that there fence, gave us these gold things and left. She seemed real desperate to help, now that I recall. Oh, and she said she "fixed" Grannie's walker. Got no idea what she meant by that."
"Oh, that youngin' fixed it alright." went a new voice.

The three ponies turned to find the matriarch of the apple clan had hobbled out to greet them.

"That crazy little pony was all hopped up to help out 'round here. You two tell 'er she's a right honorable filly to be doin' so much good."
"Yeah, we'll let her know." Pinkie said through gritted teeth.
"So, we heard this "honorable filly" fixed your walker. Did she do a good job?"
"Oh, did she ever!" Granny smiled, and put a hoof to her mouth, whistling loudly.

A moment was allowed to pass before heavy footfalls were heard. The small party looked in their direction to see quite a sight. A pair of clawed legs came stomping towards them, eerily resembling a rooster's. They held aloft a kind of platform, made of metal. It moved all on its own; there seemed to be no eyes or even a head. It stopped lumbering in front of them, and brought one of its feet up to the stage it carried, in a kind of salute, only stopping when Granny Smith shouted "At ease!". No one present could fathom why; the creature lacked any method of hearing.

The three younger ponies stared at the "walker", mouths agape.
"Ah don't plan on usin' it much. Still got some kick in these old gams."
They continued to stare.
"Did you youngins want to take it for a spin?"
Granny was sure Pinkie nodded.
"Alright. These girls'll be takin' ya fer the day, stretch!" she called up to the platform.

The walker saluted once more before grabbing Pinkie in one talon and hoisted her up to it's top. Fluttershy followed with her own flight. The beast trotted off with it's cargo. Applejack was still in some shock, even when they had gone over the horizon.

She only became responsive again when she could see a firework tearing through the air. It gave a loud pop as reached the top of its trajectory. A black mass could be seen tumbling through the air. It landed in a hay bale with a thud, and stumbled out coughing. It was a soot-covered hedgehog. Applejack took a look towards the fence quick enough to see an arm holding a lighter before it slid back inside its slot. She chuckled.

"Silly varmints."

Author's Note

Remember to leave feedback.

I'm desperate for critique here.

Birthdays, Barbecues and Beyond

As the mad...thing the two ponies were riding stomped back into town, scaring everypony who managed to see the incredibly weird vehicle, Pinkie's spirits were at an all-time low. This pony, one she had never heard of, seen, partied with, or even scheduled a birthday for, was not only doing everything Pinkie could ever do, but doing it leagues better than she could ever dream. She hit her head on the top of the beast's head repeatedly. Fluttershy noticed her friend's mood.

"Don't worry, Pinkie." she somehow managed to urge softly.
"We're going to catch that critter-hurting pony and give them a piece of our mind!"
Pinkie Pie stopped hitting her head long enough to give her friend a warm smile.

From below, they heard a familiar voice calling up to them. One peek over the side of their platform revealed they had arrived at Carousel Boutique. The proprietor and their good friend, Rarity, was outside, waving at them in what was clearly a new dress. But the two ponies could see this dress wasn't an ordinary dress by any means. Or rather, they couldn't see it at all. Focusing in the bulk of the dress seemed impossible. It was as if their eyes simply refused to take in any detail beyond it being a very colorful dress. The only part they could see without their vision sliding away was the portion around Rarity's bust, where the dress seemed to be held together by a single golden gem that matched the three on her flank.

Pinkie tapped the creature's head as they approached. It's trudging came to a slow stop and it squatted low enough for her to hop down to the ground safely.

"So, Rarity," she said with a sigh, loathing the conversation she had had so many times today already.
"What did the fantastic new pony give you?"
"Oh, you've heard of her! She gave me this wonderful, most amazing bolt of cloth I've ever seen! It's so beautiful, some ponies have trouble taking in it's full beauty! What do you think of this dress, dears?"

Fluttershy hesitated, still unable to see the dress, but she eventually settled on, "It's...very nice, Rarity."
The white unicorn gave a little excited whinny.
"Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, darling. I still have plenty of material left, maybe I should make more for this line. Perhaps a smaller dress for fillies, a suit for a well-built stallion, maybe even a giant hat! Or maybe..." she trailed off, walking back inside her house. Pinkie raced to her side before she could go.

"Rarity, wait! Where did that pony go?"
"Well, darling I haven't the foggiest. But, you might want to check over that hill there, there was quite a ruckus going on."

She motioned to a distant area, which seemed to have quite a bit of smoke rising from it. Gaining a look of determination, Pinkie gave a mighty backflip back onto the Walker. She struck a dynamic pose and pointed in the direction Rarity indicated.

"To the smoke, Walker! And step on it!"
Giving a salute, the walker rose one foot high into the sir. Rarity stared at it, horrified it was about to take Pinkie's words to heart. But it instead brought it straight down in a mighty stomp, which shook the ground violently as the force of it made the beast shoot upwards into the sky.

Fluttershy stared wide-eyed at the enormous bound took, looking at Rarity and seeing she had a similar expression. She recovered quickly and flew after the two.

Rainbow winced a little as Nurse Sweetheart applied the ointment to the areas on her body that were currently furless.

"Ow! watch it, would ya?"
"Oh, sorry Miss."
"Anyway, I just skipped a few steps when making this cake, and when I brought it to the competition, it just went ballistic and started zapping everypony in sight!"
"Whoa," Soarin' went, taken in by her story. "so what did you do?"
"Well, I -"

She was interrupted by the ground thunderously quaking. The two pegasai turned towards the noise to see a massive creature, comprised of two legs and not much else. Pinkie Pie was riding it, with a look more serious than Rainbow thought she was capable of. She shimmied down the creature's thin leg, and zipped up to Rainbow Dash quickly.

"Rainbow Dash! What's going on? What happened? Did that new pony give you something? What did I miss!?" she asked in rapid succession.
"Whoa, slow down, Pink! Nothing happened, cept for ol' Rainbow Dash taking care of business like always!" she said, puffing out her chest.

It was at this point that Pinkie noticed the acrid, sour smell in the air. She took in her surroundings for the first time since arriving in the fields. Everywhere, there were puddles of brown sludge. They hissed and bubbled gently, seemingly eating away at whatever surface they had landed on. A few particularly large puddles had huge pieces of what looked horribly like flesh sticking out of them, which the brown liquid had no effect on. She also noticed that there were several ponies working to clean up the mess, pouring another liquid on the worse of the brown before daring to touch it. Others hauled the pieces of flesh into a wagon, which held the bulk of it, sporting a large eye. Pinkie could tell from the way it glared at them that it was not happy at its current state. She turned back to Rainbow, who had numerous spots of fur missing from acid burns.

"Yeah, somepony told me this thing was trying to burn this field up, so I had to teach it a lesson," Rainbow continued. It was then that Fluttershy caught up, with an increasingly worried look about her.
"Oh! What happened to this field?! Is the family of prairie dogs alright?!"

Soarin' tried to calm her down.
"It's alright, miss. They're alright, see?" he pointed towards Nurse Coldheart, tending to the family of furry burrowers who were somewhat singed, but still okay. As Fluttershy rushed to their side, Pinkie questioned Rainbow Dash further.

"So, that pony told you about the monster?"
"Yeah, showed me where it was and everything. Apparently she even got me a Wonderbolt for backup!" she said, her tone taking a dip into fangirly reverie. She quickly straitened up when Soarin' chimed in.

"She was one weird mare, for sure. I was just flying by when she said I had to come to this site near Ponyville for an 'emergency situation'. I've never seen a monster like this before. Glad Rainbow here had my back."
"Oh yeah, we were totally in sync up there! You were like, 'I'll take the rear, you focus on the eye!', and I was like, 'okay!' and then I delivered a crushing left hook! And then I-"

As Rainbow Dash recounted the tale, reenacting her favorite attacks, Pinkie scooted over to Fluttershy. She hissed in her ear.
"Fluttershy, this is even worse than I thought! Now she's unleashing terrible burny things on the world!"
"Pinkie, I know she's a really, really rude pony, but she couldn't have possibly done anything to bring that monster here." the pegasus reasoned. Pinkie stared at her blankly, and turned in time to hear the tale end of Rainbow Dash's story.

"-and then I Rainboomed that thing right outta the sky! You shoulda been there, Pink. That weird pony even gave me and Soarin' medals for it!" she exclaimed, holding a golden cloud and bolt symbol hanging from a necklace by her wing with the aforementioned Wonderbolt following suit. Pinkie turned back to her friend, who was disheartened by the sight.

"But enough about us, how did your party go, Pinkie?"
".....what party?" Pinkie asked. Her face grew worried quickly.
"The one for Silver Spoon, remember? You told me her dad wanted you to surprise her at school with one for her birthday. You didn't forget, did you?"

The look of shock on Fluttershy's face was nothing compared to the one of pure horror wore.

A mad dash to Sugarcube Corner later, Pinkie was ludicrously prepared for a kid's birthday party. But she panicked all the same as the Walker rushed to Ponyville School.

"I can't believe I forgot about Silver's party, Flutters! I never forget about a party! Especially a surprise party! Unless that partyisformecuzyouknowhowIgetsometimes!!" she shouted, her words starting to blend together from her excitement. Her fearful friend tried to calm her down as she desperately tried to hang on to the Walker's platform.

"Pinkie, please! Calm down! I'm sure Silver Spoon will understand if you're a bit late!"
"ButIcan'tbelateFluttershy! I just can't! That pony might make everyone smile, but she'll never party like me! NEVER!" she screamed as the Walker slid to a stop, almost plowing into the playground equipment. Pinkie ran down its leg and up to the front door, knocking on harder than needed. Cheerilee opened it, as cheerful as her name might imply. Pinkie was so worked up she missed the small golden flower pinned to her chest.

"Cheerilee, I'm here. I can throw the party I promised, huff"
"Well, that's nice, but, we actually just finished one." she responded awkwardly. Pinkie's face fell.

"What?"
"Of course, I'm sure the children wouldn't mind if you had some cake. The host did make alot." she led the stunned pony into the schoolhouse, where the kids were lazing about, or simply conversing. They looked quite content. Exhausted, but content. The room was strewn with all manner of streamers, confetti, and banners celebrating the little filly's birthday. Near the door, there were cookies, punch, and other sweets, which would have been dwarfed by the cake in the center had it not been mostly eaten. There were many fun games out, even a large black box with a screen and two microphones attached to it: a karaoke machine.

Pinkie looked around the room in disbelief. She had actually done it. She threw a party Pinkie had wanted to throw. And the kids had loved it. She could even hear her laughter echoing in her ears. Pinkie turned to see it was actually coming from two fillies she knew of. Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara. She looked back to Cheerilee, and pointed at them, mouth still agape.

"Oh, well, those two have been a little warmer to each other since they sang together. I guess singing a rock style remix of The Smile Song together can do that to little ponies!" she explained.
Pinkie only made a choking up sound in response. She was just about to turn away, go home, and perhaps lie in bed for a few days when she heard her name.

"Miss Pinkie?"
It came a from a gray earth stallion, with purple sunglasses, a very stylish mane, and a little filly clinging to his back. Hoity Toity, the stallion who asked her to throw this party. Who had said he would be "far too busy" to attend the party himself.

"Well. It is about time you showed up. I was beginning to think you weren't going to show at all. But no matter! I'm afraid your services will be no longer needed. Your replacement did very well on this little shindig. She even convinced me to join the occasion, isn't that right, Spoony?"
"Yes, Papa!" Silver Spoon piped up from behind.

But Pinkie had stopped listening after "replacement" reached her ears. Replaced. She had really been replaced. She held her head low to the ground. Her hair drooped around her face. She sulked back through the door just as Fluttershy was struggling to push her party cannon through the door.

"Hey Pinkie, are we clear to par-tay? Yay!" she cheered softly before noticing Pinkie's demeanor. The pink pony pushed past her gently, and started on the road back to town, as her friend looked on, worried. Hoity came next to her and watched her leave.

"Is she going to be alright?" he asked. Fluttershy sighed.
"I hope so."

Uninvited

Pinkie downed her drink in one gulp. She found it replaced before she could muster the strength to groggily ask for another. She made to drink this one, but stopped as she caught her reflection in it's contents. Her tearful, crestfallen face. She set it back down, letting her tears fall into it.

"I'm washed up," she finally said to herself. "I'm nothing now. That other pony.....she'll make this town smile wider than I ever did." She took a idle sip. "So what will I do now? Will I find another town? What about their Pinkie? Will I have to take her parties from her? I just don't know what to do." She took another swing of her drink and sighed. "I get another here, tender?"

"Uh, Pinkie," Mr. Cake said with concern, "I think you've had enough lemonade." She gave him a nasty look and brought her hoof down on the counter hard.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough! Another!" she snapped before putting her head down in despair. Mr. Cake groaned, but left to fetch a fresh pitcher anyway. At that moment, the doors to Sugarcube Corner opened, revealing a familiar yellow pegasus who looked more troubled than usual.

"Pinkie!" she exclaimed, rushing over to her defeated friend. "I think I know where she's going next! C'mon, we can catch her!" She tugged Pinkie's arm, but found she didn't budge from her seat. Pinkie just turned her head wistfully without lifting it from the counter to stare at Fluttershy.

"Forget it, Flutters. I'm done chasin' her. That mare wants my job so bad, she can have it." A few tears slipped from her face as Mr. cake came back with another cup of lemonade. She took it, but didn't drink it just yet. "Ponyville deserves better."

"But-But, what about you?" Fluttershy pleaded. "Ponyville never wanted or needed better, it just needed you." She sat down beside her friend, putting one wing on her back gently. "I know you think that she does better than you, what with her gold and weird monsters and such, but none of that means she knows Ponyville, or any pony like you do. We all know you care, Pinkie. And nopony, not even her, can outdo that by just giving them things."

Pinkie looked at her, eyes still glistening. She then wiped her eyes clear and sniffled, giving Fluttershy the smallest hints of a smile. "You really think so?" she said quietly. Fluttershy just pulled her into a gentle embrace.

"I know so." she said sincerely. She stepped back to see her friend finally smiling again. It wasn't the face-breaking grin that she would expect, but a small, hopeful one that was at least progress. Pinkie moved to finish her drink, but stopped. She peered into it, then set it down on the counter and pushed it away. She got up from her seat and looked to Pinkie with her mane still covering part of her face, but not hiding her newfound determination.

"Where to next?" she asked.

Twilight Sparkle sighed as she closed the last of her suitcases. The month away from Ponyville and her friends had been a tiring one. Celestia had wanted her help in pacifying a visiting tribe of zebras that were unusually irritable.. She still hadn't figured out if they were like this all the time, or if they felt their mission required an attitude Rainbow Dash would find unnecessary.

But that was all past her now. The zebras, off-putting as they were, had come to reasonable terms and would fulfill their end of the deal. And that meant she could go home and put the stress behind her. It was the afternoon, and the sky was turning steadily darker. She would most likely be home by nightfall. As she carried her luggage to the front door, she spied a rose next to a blue bow tie on her bed stand. She smiled. Okay, so maybe this whole thing hasn't been that stressful, she thought.

Her reminiscing was halted by the sound of heavy footfalls coming from a distance. She darted to the window to see the oddest creature she had ever seen lumbering through Canterlot. Comprised of legs and a platform, Twilight could see there were two ponies riding on it. She took a step on the windowsill, then pushed off through it. She fell a few feet before flapping her wings, slowing and eventually stopping her descent. A few flaps and she made her way haphazardly to the top of the creature. Grabbing the rim of its platform "head" she tried to hoist herself up, but found her hoof grabbed and pulled up. She recognized the riders immediately.

"Fluttershy!? Pinkie?! What are you doing here? What is this thing!?" she asked.

"No time to explain, Twilight." Pinkie answered, in a more dour way than she expected. "Has any weird pony given you things, complimented you or tried to make you have fun?"

"No! I haven't! What's this all about?!" she yelled. Pinkie just turned to Fluttershy, her smile getting a little wider.

"We got to Twilight first, Fluttershy! We beat her! Now all we have to do is wait until she comes for Twilight and we can jump her!" she said excitedly.

"Oh, um, you mean confront her. Right, Pinkie?" Fluttershy mumbled.

Pinkie leered at her for a split second. "Yeah. Sure." she grumbled, dialing back her enthusiasm.

Just then, the sound of flapping wings got the three ponies' attention. They turned to see a blond pegasus with gray fur flying towards them. She wore a red cap and a singular saddle bag and her eyes seemed to be off focus. She plopped herself down inelegantly on the creature and smiled at the group.

"Princess Twilight?" she asked. Twilight raised her hoof. "I have a delivery for you, Ma'am." With one wing, she reached into her bag filled with letters and took out a shiny object. A golden muffin. "Oho, wait." she chuckled. "That's mine."

Reaching in her bag again, she pulled out another object, this time a pendant of a six-pointed star. She handed it to Twilight, who took it in her magic grip. The pegasus saluted, then jumped off the platform, flying off. Fluttershy looked at Pinkie Pie uneasily, who had a very blank expression on her face.

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but her delivery suddenly sprang to life and leapt into the air just above their heads. It spun in place, beginning to give off its own bright light that hurts their eyes. In one great big explosion of light, the star stopped, falling down again. The light it produced had left a portal on the creature's head. It was rimmed in a yellow light and was pure white in the middle.

The three ponies looked at the magical construct in disbelief. They looked at each other, as though asking who would risk stepping through it first. Twilight took up her pendant and boldly stepped forth, tentatively putting a hoof through it. Her whole forelimb passed through it without resistance. Looking to her friends once more, she followed with another hoof, her head, and then the rest of her body slid through and disappeared.

Pinkie glared at the entry way, wary of the effect it could have, considering it was made by her yet unknown rival. But she stepped through herself. Perhaps going along with her plan would reveal the fun-stealing fiend. Fluttershy, now alone, trembled a little, but eventually dove through the portal herself.

Pinkie found herself landing in a pile of thick vegetation. A quick scan of her surroundings revealed she was in a dead end of the Canterlot Hedge Maze, with the ground littered in soft leaves. Around her she could hear the grunts of surprise coming from other ponies. Both ponies she knew from Ponyville and ones that she never met. They all seemed to be as confused as she was. Then, a great whistling sound was heard, ending in a series of loud pops. She looked up in time to see the bright lights of fireworks going off in the sky. The ponies around her gazed at the spectacle in awe.

Her own reverence was halted by the arrival of Fluttershy, who landed on her softly.

"Sorry, Pinkie." she said as Pinkie lightly shoved her off. The other ponies had stopped looking at the light show to notice the small signs pinned to the hedges around them, all directing them towards what looked like the direction the fireworks originated. Some were already following them, and Pinkie's next move was clear for her.

"C'mon, Fluttershy," she said in a voice full of resolve. "We've got her now."

The two ponies followed the directions quickly, passing all manner of ponies along the way, until they came to a group of ponies standing in a line. They all seemed excited to enter a grove where the beat of party music could be heard, rising and suddenly falling constantly. They got in line and waited behind two pegasi of similar colors. Fluttershy waited patiently, but Pinkie breathed rather audibly, and tapped her hoof whenever the line stopped for two long. She kept her gaze locked ahead of her in a steely glare, and frightened one of the girls in front of her when she happened to turn around.

Luckily, the line moved quickly, and they could finally see the front of the grove. At it stood three diamond dogs. One looked very familiar, but with it's red vest replaced by a fancy tuxedo he was clearly uncomfortable in. He was checking each pony and sending each inside, at which point the two armored dogs guarding the entrance would stand aside to let them in. Pinkie caught a sight of Twilight's purple tail heading inside. The pegasus twins in front of them came up to have their turn.

"Invite?" the dog growled. One pegasus, with the her hair topped with a bow, pulled out a gold dragonfly. Looking it over, he took a quick look at the checklist in front of him, and checked off her box. He waved her inside. She gleefully started towards the door. Her sister, on the other hand, look a little crestfallen.

"Oh, I...kind of...don't have one." she said meekly. This got a short glare from the dog, whose eyes went to his list again. After a quick look, he waved her in as well.

"Pony on List." he said. Her face lighting back up, she ran after her sibling. Pinkie and Fluttershy came up next. "Invite?"

"Are we on the list?" Pinkie asked in an annoyed fashion. The dog looked over his list again, and responded,

"No."
Pinkie's eyes narrowed.

"And no invite?"
"No.....no." she said quietly.
"Step off line, pony."

Pinkie began to comply, but was stopped by Fluttershy, who tried to reason with him.

"Are you sure we're not on the list?"
"Yes."
"Couldn't you check again, maybe?"
"No!"
"Can we maybe, talk to the hostess? Just pop in and-"
"NO!"
".....not even for a bellyru-"
"OFF LINE, PONY!"

At his interjection, one guard left his post to grab Pinkie and Fluttershy in his strong arms and tossed them both into a nearby hedge.

Friends of Discord, Guests of DisHonor

Fluttershy struggled out of the constricting hedge. She got her head free in time to see Pinkie walking slowly to the back of the line.

"Pinkie, wait!" she shouted as painfully wretched her way out of the perfectly shaped foliage. "Where are you going!?" Pinkie turned to her friend, without a trace of emotion on her face.

"Home." she said flatly, before turning and moping away again. Fluttershy tried to reason with her or get her attention, but she was ignored. She threw up her hoofs and exclaimed with a squeak, "Are you really gonna let her beat you with a party!?"

Suddenly, the leafy gates of the soiree rustled, and a familiar voice rang out, "I know that demure whine anywhere!" A gray head emerged from the green, which was followed by a sinuous brown body, with all manner of different animal parts attached.

"Discord!" Fluttershy declared as she rushed up to him, and was scooped up into a hug.

"What are you doing here, my Fluttery dear?" he asked, ignoring the uneasy looks that the other guests gave him as he appeared.

"Me and Pinkie are trying to get into this party, but we're not on the list, and we don't have an invitation."

Discord looked astonished by the news. "Well, that's odd. I was under the impression everyone was invited. Don't worry, I'll see if I can get you in."
"Oh, are you sure that's alright?"
"Of course! I actually know the hostess quite well, she won't mind at all!"

Setting her down, the sprit of chaos sauntered over to the desk where the diamond dog was checking in ponies, while Fluttershy raced over to Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie! Pinkie! Discord is here!" This got Pinkie to stop and stare at her. "He says he can get us in!" The pinker pony just looked at her incredulously.

"Alright, my two favorite ponies! You're all clear to enter." Discord said, suddenly appearing behind them, frightening quite a few of the guests that had yet to enter. Pinkie perked up immediately.

"We....we can go in?" she asked shakily.
"A little convincing was all that he needed." Discord crooned, looking over his shoulder at the diamond dog that had been mysteriously replaced by a fire hydrant. "Now, follow me in, you look like you could use a pick-me-up."

The three approached the leafy barrier, and the two large guards leapt aside quickly, having been an audience to the their leader's fate. As they pushed the curtain, the catchy, upbeat music rose in volume. They found themselves in a wide open room, with only the soft grass beneath them to remind them that they were indeed still inside the hedge. The rest of the area was surrounded by the image of a intricate building, which the partying ponies would occasionally walk into, expecting their doors to lead somewhere. The sky overhead was a nice bright blue, lit up by a small sun with a whimsical smile on it. A rain of confetti and streamers constantly fell, while balloons seemed to rise constantly. There were fairy lights, pinwheels and piñatas and pincushions all serving as decorations. Set around the perimeter of the room were tables laden with all manner of foods that the many ponies were eagerly munching on. Snacks like sugar cubes and sugarcanes and sundaes and sunbeams and sarsaparilla. Pinkie looked around her, in sheer awe at the ponies smiling, playing and talking and having an incredible time. Then she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned to see Death Cap smiling at her, with a blindfold and a purple tail in one hoof.

"Hey, I heard you really like this game." He said, stepping aside to let her see a paper pony, sadly tailless, nailed to a wall.

"Yes," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. Cap tied the blindfold around her head and put the tail in her hoof. "Yes!" she said again, as he spun her around and sent her towards her target. She drove the pin into the pony, and took off her blindfold. "YES!" she shouted, ignoring that she had stabbed the poor paper pony right on its nose.

She bounced back to her friend and her chaotic confidant, who were sampling cubes of sugar. They smiled at her, her natural bounciness having returned, and her bright pink hue in full force.

"Feeling better, Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked.
"So much better! This is the best party ever!" she shouted, which got her a cheer of approval from the ponies around her. "I wish I knew who was throwing this party! They deserve a Pinkie pat on the back for this stupendous soiree!"

"Well, you're in luck! She's on the dance floor right now!" Discord informed them. He motioned in the direction of a another gateway, this one more reminiscent of a circus tent, and guarded by two clowns, of all things. Pinkie didn't waste a second. She darted in, only stopping to be honked at by the whimsical guardians. Fluttershy and Discord followed her.

Inside, the music was at it's full blast. It was a wild, insane beat, and the partiers danced accordingly. The tent was dark, but lit up by a series of colorful lights, the biggest of which was focused on particularly wild sections of dancers. There was one massive light directed on the center, where Pinkie could only see a blur of brown and pinkish purple flailing about each other. She tried to pierce the dense crowd, but found it impossible. Every time she tried to penetrate it, she found herself tossed every which way, and unable to make progress, eventually being spit back out. Before she could try again, she felt something toss her into the air. She landed on top of Discord, who was ridden by Fluttershy as well, as he twisted and moved through the crowd easily, dodging the crazy limbs and unbridled movements of the dancers.

They came upon a hole in the densely packed ponies who were giving a wide berth to a large, white pony. It might have been because she was easily three times the size of any mare or stallion present, but was far more likely because her dancing in this unrestrained environment was eerily reminiscent to an inebriated goose.

"Fluttershy! Pinkie Pie! Discord." she said when she spotted them, raising her voice above the din of the dance tent. "I'm so glad to see you make this wonderful party!" She dove a hoof into the ponies around her, and pulled out a random unicorn, who she then proceeded to dance with in a sort of sped up waltz.

"Glad to see you enjoying yourself for once!" Discord responded, pushing past her and into the crowd again.

A short time later, they finally came to the center, where the two blurs were still dancing. The first was a stallion, with brown fur, a gray mane, a black hat precariously hanging onto his head, and a pickaxe cutie mark. His eyes had a hint of tiredness to them, but her still danced energetically with the mare beside him. Pinkie recognized him quickly.

"Dad!?"

Yes, it was Igneous Rock, Pinkie's father, dancing with another mare. The mare she was dancing with however, was a complete mystery, to her. Her fur was an odd shade between pink and purple, her mane and tail were purple trimmed with white, and were very curly, even a little unkempt. Her cutie mark was a baseball nest to a screw. On her head was a beanie, with it's own propeller, which spun at an incredible rate as she danced. And her eyes didn't look like any that Pinkie had ever seen on a pony. They were purple, but in place of pupils, she had two swirling lines inside them. And she looked absolutely delighted.

At Pinkie's outburst, she swung herself around to face her. Her smile ran away from her face. Igneous, unaware of this change in attitude, tried to pull her back. She responded by swinging her hoof around, detaching him from it and letting him land in the crowd. The beating music began to slow, as did her propeller. She walked slowly towards the group as the music came to a halt, and her hat coming to a stop that gave off a metallic clang. She looked very angry.

Everyone of the partiers stopped what they were doing, some huffing from the exertion of dancing, and stared at the scene unfolding. Pinkie and Fluttershy looked at her awkwardly, but Discord floated behind her nonchalantly.

"I'd like you ponies to meet my own little spawn of chaos, and the hostess of this little happening, Screwball!" he said, moving his lion paw to pat her head. "Screwy, this is-"

But he was stopped by her hoof slapping against his paw, and she moved from under it, getting closer to the two ponies. She glared at them, jabbed a hoof in Pinkie's direction, and screamed in a very childlike voice,

"What is she doing here?!"

Author's Note

And Screwball makes her first appearance!

I'm actually a little surprised I got this far.