My Little Kaiju: Ponies Are Weird

Knifehead screamed as a foot came down on his nose again. The kaiju sniffled before looking at his tormentor : Slattern

"What's wrong category 3?" the category 5 mocked before stomping on Knifehead again. Knifehead attempted to crawl away only to have Raiju grab his tail and drag him back. "Your kind is pathetic,you know acting like they're strong when really you're just fun for us!" Slattern slammed Knifehead one more time, this time resulting in a harsh crack as Knifehead's horn chipped. Slattern laughed at the tears rolling down Knifehead's face before walking off. Knifehead sat there for a while crying when a comforting claw touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that" Scunner said looking at Knifehead with pity. Scunner and Knifehead had been born from the same Smila DNA and were as close as kaiju got to to brothers. "I tried to hold them off but you know how they are" Scunner comforted the weeping category 3.

"At least it's not as bad as what happens to Onibaba and Trespasser" Knifehead sniffed hopefully.

"That's the spirit" Scunner said slapping Knifehead's back with both arms. "Now go sleep in your own flesh pit, you know how pissed the Precursors' get when your out past curfew" Knifehead shuddered as he remembered the pitiful cries of Mutavore as she had her pain receptors spiked with every sort of pain imaginable. Suddenly Scunner turned a neon pink with a pink mane. Knifehead shrieked like a Category 1 when Scunner started poking his eyelid.

The world swam back into focus as Knifehead saw a pink pony poking his eyelids. "What do you know, it worked!" she said excitedly. Just as he was about to scream again a zipper grew over his mouth, effectively shutting him up but also making him bite his tongue.

"Is that really necessary Twilight?" an alabaster pony with a horn asked. "Surely one with such good hair care can't be all bad" Knifehead stopped screaming as he gagged instead. That vile thing thought he was good looking?! He was in a disgusting,weak,furry body and she was gross enough to say he was cute?!

The one who was called Twilight looked at him and said "I'm going to unzip your mouth now, try not to scream because I don't want to round up Fluttershy's critters again" A few seconds later his mouth unzipped and he could talk again. "What were you doing waking up a dragon?" Twilight asked.

"It was not my fault, I appeared right next to him and accidentally stepped on his tail" Knifehead defended, snorting in the process.

"Appeared?" Twilight questioned. Knifehead carefully considered his next answer. Telling her he was a kaiju was sure to incite a panic judging by their reaction to the dragon. In the end Knifehead chose the safe option.

"I don't know, I can't remember anything before my appearance" Knifehead lied. Like all good lies it had a bit of truth in it. Knifehead certainly didn't remember anything before being created. "Where am I?" the kaiju scouted.

"Oh you're in Equestria, in Ponyville, in Fluttershy's cottage, ins-" the pink one started before having a hoof shoved in her mouth by the rainbow one.

"Don't tell him that Pinkie! What if he came through the portal? Twilight said it had a dark presence" the rainbow one spat with distaste. Knifehead leaned foward and, in the custom of horned kaiju, slammed his head into hers to assert his dominance. What he didn't expect was her pushing back "See he attacks me" she growled, shoving her head forward so her and Knifehead were caught in a impromtu pushing contest. Suddenly two orange hooves reached behind both of their heads and knocked them together.

"Will you two knock it off? Rainbow there was no reason to be so disrespecful and you didn't need to react so badly" the orange one yelled. Rainbow and Knifehead were to busy clutching their aching skulls to pay attention or care. "Terribly sorry about Rainbow sir, she gets a bit fiesty. My name's Applejack what's yours?" Applejack said extending a hoof as she did. Knifehead didn't know why but he felt he should use a different name than his real one. Perhaps it was some remnant of the Smila who he had once been.

"Cutting Edge, I specialize in, uh cutting things" Knifehead said pridefully in an attempt to throw them off the trail of his real name.

"Well Cutting Edge welcome to Ponyville" Applejack said, shaking his hoof violently and causing his one bang to flick around everywhere, an activity the alabaster one was currently swooning over. By the time the hoofshake was over, Cutting Edge felt like he had been punched by Onibaba. Not pleasant but not horrible either.

"Oh my such a lovely mane you have! My name is Rarity and I would very much appreciate if you let me touch it" Rarity said, struggling to hold a straight face.

"Sure, I guess" Cutting Edge said ignoring the warning signs the ponies were giving him and his own instincts. One hour later Cutting was regretting his decision

"Such beauty must be appreciated, Oh I know what to do!" Rarity said finally letting go of his bang as she jumped for joy. Cutting's relief was short and bitter. "I'll take you to the boutique and clean that grime out of it" she said happily. The ponies gave Cutting a look of pity as Rarity dragged the hapless earth pony away.

"Help she's killing me" Cutting wailed as he attempted to escape Rarity's magical grasp.

"Oh that gem will look handsome on you" Rarity said, absorbed in her work and not paying attention to his pleads. "Voila! There take a look" Rarity urged as she finally dropped him. Cutting looked at his reflection and gasped in horror. He was clean! How dare she defile what little beauty this body had by adding a brilliant garnet to his hair. He felt something twinge in his heart as he turned towards the expectant fashionista. Her eyes were so big and pretty, er ugly. He couldn't insult her not after all her hard work he decided. It was purely to keep her alleigance he told himself but in his heart he still felt something stir.

"I love it, your work is brilliant" Cutting complimented after a tense second.

"Brilliant! Well I hope I see you around Cutting" the unicorn said happily as she showed him to the door. When she walked away Cutting couldn't help but stare at the pony's perfect bottom as it swayed back and..damn it, there were those weird feelings again. Cutting shook his head as he looked around for a strong alcohol stand. He needed one to clear his head after that...experience.