//-------------------------------------------------------// The Vengeance Trilogy: Needed -by Doccular42- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Prologue: Waiting //-------------------------------------------------------// Prologue: Waiting Prologue “Waiting” Princess Celestia, the proud ruler of Equestria, was having a very keen sense of déjà-vu. She looked down at the letter held aloft by her magic with a grimace. The words flowed well together, the sentence structure was sound, but it lacked… something. Perhaps it was that she was not writing to her most faithful student in the way she had so many times in the past, or maybe it was that she was once again writing the words of another Alicorn. The same Alicorn who had dictated the last letter that had made her feel this way. She looked up from the letter and gazed around her throne room. The magnificent chamber was temporarily devoid of guards by her orders, for it would not do for them to know that their Princess had the ability to answer letters before they even arrived. She smirked. Or for them to know that she knew somepony else who could… Her eyes shifted to the doorway directly ahead of her. Any moment now. As if by a cue, the doors glowed a smoky-silver color and swung open. A single cloaked figure entered the magnificent chamber, his black hood pulled up over his head. Princess Celestia was once again struck by the feeling of déjà-vu. She remembered the first time this Alicorn had entered her throne room, incapacitating countless guards as if it were nothing and walking up to her merely to bow and announce his presence. Just as he did now. “Princess.” The Alicorn’s voice was a deep, dark baritone. There was a slight edge to it today which would have gone unnoticed by anypony else, but when somepony has been your closest companion for almost a thousand years you begin to hear things others cannot. “Ven, it is good to see you again. I take it that it is time?” The Princess looked at the cloaked stallion as he pulled back this hood, revealing a scarred face and strained eyes. “It should be any moment now, if my calculations are correct, that is,” Lord Ven, high commander of the military forces of Equestria, watcher of the night, and the only reason that Princess Celestia had managed to stay sane for the previous ten centuries, was very stressed indeed. “Well, I suppose that this is a cause for celebration then. With my sister’s eminent return and the arrival of the others, perhaps we can finally begin our final preparations.” The Princess stood from her throne and walked over to her grand window. Lord Ven followed closely behind, as they had many times before. “I will not lie, I am quite looking forward to relinquishing control of the night to your sister. I would prefer to focus entirely on continuing the revitalization of our military, but having to protect Equestria for half of the year as well was guarding the dreams of a whole nation is rather taxing.” Ven flashed a lopsided grin. “I don’t know how you would have managed it without me,” he said with a wink. Celestia laughed. It was the first time she had seen him smile in far too long. “I suppose I do owe you a debt of gratitude. I only wish that the population of Equestria knew about you. Living in obscurity is no way for one of Equestria’s greatest heroes to spend his life.” Ven hung his head, any trace of a smile gone. “You know I don’t want that Tia. Fame was my goal a long time ago, but I’m somepony else now. I’ve changed, in more ways than one. You and Luna deserve the spotlight. I’m content to be your shadow.” Celestia shook her head. After such a long time, she had come to expect Ven’s knowledge of just about any subject, up to and including the other Princess that he had never met, but that did not mean she was used to it. “Well, I still don’t think that is the best course of action. What if we…” The ruler’s idea was interrupted by a bright flash as a scroll appeared in front of her. “Ah, right on time.” Lord Ven picked up the scroll using his peculiar silver-grey magic and skimmed it. “Worded exactly as I expected. Here, take a look.” He handed the scroll to Celestia, who read the contents of the letter. “Someday, I am going to realize that you are always right about these things and blindly do whatever you say. Or maybe I’ll just let you take over Equestria and go surfing at the beach.” Ven grinned again. “My Princess, the day you do not doubt and test me is the day I begin to doubt and question myself. And I am not as good at it as you.” Celestia allowed herself another chuckle. Their humor always was a cover for their stress, and today’s humor seemed oddly poignant to the ruler. “So, you are certain that she is the sixth?” She inquired. “Positive. You should be ready for tonight. I don’t think your temporary imprisonment will be particularly comfortable.” Ven looked out the window. “Give it another thirty seconds. We wouldn’t want your student to know that we already had written our reply. She might catch on.” Celestia nodded. The two of them waited a short time, and then Celestia sent her letter with a puff of summoned dragon flame. “So, now I just wait to be placed in a prison by the evil alter ego of my estranged sister. Wonderful. Are you going to take the capsule now?” Celestia turned back to face the other Alicorn once more. He nodded as he pulled his hood over his head. “Yes. Have you finished the last alterations?” “I have. The teleportation spell is completely attuned to the exact frequency you requested.” Celestia walked over to her throne and placed her hoof on a small orb on the back of the magnificent chair. A small grey cylinder popped out and was caught by her magic. She handed it to Ven. “Perfect. I will take it there now.” He began to leave the throne room, but pasued halfway to the door. “Oh, and Tia?” Celestia walked over to him and replied, “Yes?” “Try to remember that you need to be captured by Nightmare Moon. Go easy on her,” he winked his unscarred golden eye at her as he exited the room. Celestia then heard the odd sound of wind blowing that always accompanied Ven’s teleportation spell. She smiled slightly. The ruler of Equestria walked back toward the window and looked out over the shining city of Canterlot. It was quite peaceful despite the hustle and bustle that always accompanied such large cities. “Well, one can only hope it will stay that way… for a while, at least,” she said to no one in particular. And one can only hope that Ven is wrong, and that all our preparations are for nothing. After all, who would hope for a war? //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Two: Questions //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Two: Questions Chapter 2 “Questions” “Uh, hi.” If the trio heard him, they didn’t give any sign of it. Flamboyant kept hovering, Insane Smiles kept grinning, and Purple gaped at him. The five others who were trapped under the rubble were finally stopping their exclamations, and were rising to their feet. Hooves, rather. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. The first to stand was a violent blue, with black and white hair to put a manga star to shame, and wings that flapped uselessly in the air. He seemed to have clouds or something tattooed to his butt. Come to think of it, everyone has something on their butts! Steve looked at his… flank? Yeah, my flank. Right there, he saw a matching pair of drumsticks on his brown side. “Where are we?” Bluedude asked in a deep baritone, his face contorted in a look of misunderstanding. The next pony stood up. He was a deep red, with a dark grey mane. “Isn’t it obvious?” Red’s tenor was a stark contrast to Blues deep tones. “We’re all tripping out and dreaming that we’re in Ponyville. Don’t worry; I’ve had dreams like this before.” Red started to walk toward the three dumbfounded ponies, but was stopped by a purple barrier. “HEY!” he yelled, “What’s up with the magic Twilight? This is my trip, and I want to enjoy it!” He laughed and started jumping at the barrier, but was pushed back each time. “Hey, this is kinda fun!” The purple pony jumped back and looked fearfully at Red. She turned and spoke in hushed tones to the other two. A third pony rose to his, no, HER feet. Hooves! Oh man, I really hope this is a dream or trip. Or something! She was a deep green color, with hair the color of Barney the dinosaur. She had a hor poking through her hair. Oh man, this keeps getting weirder and weirder!She looked at the Red pony and spoke. “This obviously isn’t a ‘trip’ or dream. It is not convoluted enough to be a trip, and who ever heard of six people having the same drug-induced experience? Second, it cannot be a dream because we could wake ourselves up. And, who ever heard of six people having the same dream?" Woah, instant logic alert. Red looked at her. “How do I know that you’re all here with me? I could be out cold in my bed right now!” He grinned at his own impeccable logic. Green trotted over to him and smacked him with her hoof. “That’s how you know!” “Hey, you can’t go around smacking anypony you choose willy-nilly! It’s not nice!” Red rose to his full height, being slightly taller than Greeny. Greeny began her own retort, but Steve wasn’t paying them any more attention. He was looking at the floor where two more horses were sitting. The first was a brilliant white with hair that could make a fire cry at its miserable excuse for an existence. He too had wings, but his were pulled in around his sides. He sat looking at his hooves, bawling his eyes out. Weird. The second was even weirder. He was looking all around himself with a grin that threatened to split his face in half. His grey skin- Or hair, or whatever the hay it’s called- was rather drab compared to everyone else, but his eyes were covered by a pair of black glasses. He had a short horn protruding from his forehead. With the chaos of the Blue horse yelling at the force field, Red and Greeny shouting in each other’s faces, Firemane crying, and the grey one grinning like an idiot, something snapped within Steve. He took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs. “QUIET! Everypony SHUT UP!” His nostrils flared as he pawed the ground. Everypony looked at him in stunned silence. Except Red. Red looked at him and giggled. “Did you just say everypony?” Steve and Greeny glared daggers at Red and he backed away. “Okay,” Steve began. “Obviously, something happened to all of us after the roof of the café caved in. The last thing I remember before everything started was a bright flash of light. Did anypony else see this?” Red giggled again. “Yeah,” Blue said. “I saw a bright flash and I was knocked to the ground. I saw the kid in the wheelchair get thrown into the air, and then a geek and a punk ran over to help him. I was trying to help, but got knocked over by some dude. I’m guessing that’s one of you guys?” Steve nodded. “Yeah, I knocked you over. So you’re the baseball player?” Blue nodded. “That’s me. Name’s Cyrus.” After saying this, he shook himself. “No, that’s not my name. My name is… Cyrus. No, that’s not my name! My name is… Cyrus! GAH!” Cyrus the blue pony pounded the ground with his hooves. “I can’t say my own feathering name! Hey, that’s not what I meant to say either! What the hay is wrong with this feathering place! This gosh darn cousin cupcaking place is changing everything I say! And what are with these? Why do I have wings? There's no way that I'm a pegasus!” Cyrus entered a full blown panic attack. He fell to the ground in a ball and began to cry. This just made Firemane cry harder. Greeny turned to look at Steve, looking quite confounded. “Wait, if this place is changing your name, will it change mine?” She glanced at Cyrus. “My name is Gwen. Well, that’s not what I meant to say.” Her confounded face now looked quizzical rather than confounded. Even as a pony, she’s still pretty. Wait. Did I just think what I think I thought? Steve turned to her and said, “Let me try. My name’s Sticks Rimshot. Well, that’s definitely not it. Let me try again.” Steve. “Sticks.” Steve. “Sticks.” STEVE! “STICKS!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. He fell on his rump panting. Red continued his giggle fit. “Well, my name’s Nick.” Red spoke. “And that’s exactly what I meant to say!” He giggle, falling to the floor. “You all get funny names, but I stay the same! Ha!” Gwen’s face contorted in anger. “Stop laughing! Stop, stop stop!” She began kicking Nick, but he just laughed harder. Firemane and Cyrus were still crying hysterically. Sticks STEVE!! turned to face the Nerd, who was the only one not freaking out uncontrollably. “Hey,” Sticks said. It’s Steve! “You’re the guy who was sitting with the computer in the coffeshop, right?” Nerdy looked at him, and said with a grin, “Yeah I was. Isn’t this place great! I’ve dreamed of this happening ever since I first saw My Little Pony! My names Penn by the way. Well, actually it’s not, but apparently being shifted to Equestria makes us incapable of speaking our human names and replaces them with pony names. It seems to filter all profanity too. So, does that mean that whenever Applejack says ‘what the hay’ she’s trying to curse? This does bear thinking on.” Sticks/Steve Looked at Penn in shock. Had he heard correctly? My Little Pony? No, Penn must have been talking too fast. “Did you just say ‘My Little Pony’?” Sticks asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. “Yes, I did. To be precise, we are in the fourth generation of the show, as we can tell by the appearance of everything around us. It is odd that our brains are rendering this three-dimensional word to us in this way. It appears two-dimensional, just like the show! I wonder how this is even possible! Are things really two dimensional, or is it just…” Penn kept talking, but Sticks wasn’t listening anymore. My Little Pony. That stupid show for little girls? That’s just… no way.  Penn’s babbling continued, but Sticks was now focused on the ponies outside the force field. That thought is wrong on so many levels. Ponies and force fields. They were no longer discussing with each other, and were now just watching the insanity inside the bubble. The rainbow-haired one asked Purple, “Umm, Twilight? That box made the weirdest ponies I’ve ever met. And I’ve met Pinky Pie, so that’s saying something!” Twilight the purple pony looked at the flying pegasus. “Rainbow Dash, I already told you, the box didn’t create these ponies! It just cast a teleportation spell on them. I can also detect an emotional shift spell, and that’s why they are all acting so crazy! The red one has an amusement spell cast on him, the white one has a sadness spell. The green one has a rage spell on her, and the blue has been hit by a confusion spell! The grey one has a wonder spell on him, and the brown one-” She was interrupted by the pink pony. “Oooh, I know! The brown one is looking at us! He has a ‘Can See Pinky, Dashy, and Twily’ spell on him!” She began bouncing up and down, with a resounding Boing! Every time she catapulted herself into the air. The one named Twilight turned and faced Sticks. She grinned sheepishly at him. Sticks grinned back, blushing for some reason. No way, I do NOT think that pony is pretty! She isn’t even the same… Oh God, she is! He regained his composure. “Umm, my name is Sticks. You said something about teleportation?” //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Three: Spelled //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Three: Spelled POV: Twilight Sparkle Chapter 3 “Spelled” “Umm, my name is Sticks. You said something about teleportation?” Twilight looked at the odd stallion standing before her. He was taller than she, with a light brown coat and a dark brown mane. His eyes were green… She shook herself. “Y-yes I did,” she spoke. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and you shouldn’t be here!” Twilight groaned inwardly as soon as she spoke. Why am I so flustered today? Must be all the magic. Sticks raised one eyebrow. Well, I already messed this up. May as well go on. “My friends and I found a magical item when we were in an ancient castle yesterday,” she blurted. She took a deep breath and continued. “We brought it back here to the library so I could study it. After a long examination, I determined that the aura emanating from the capsule was an Omnisearch Teleportation Retreiver spell, or OTR for short. The spell was linked to several nearby nodes and ley-lines that provide it with tremendous magical power. The whole spell web was linked to the button on the top of the box. I told everypony not to touch it, but not everypony is a good listener.” She glared at Pinkie Pie who just kept bouncing. “What? You meant that button? Oooh, that makes a lot more sense. I thought you meant to not touch the button next to the door, but that’s a doorbell! I thought it’d be silly to not press the doorbell and was going to say something, but Ditzy Doo had an extra muffin and shared it with me, so I was very distracted.” The pink party pony hadn’t taken a breath through that whole disjointed statement and now was bouncing faster than ever. Sticks looked warily at the bouncing mare and asked Twilight, “Is something wrong with her? She seems a bit-” “Crazy?” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Bonkers? Nuts? Loco in the coco? That’s because she is. New ponies always react to her like that.” Did she just say- Pinky suddenly stopped jumping. Her insane grin returned to her face as she gasped. So much air went into her lungs that Twilight was surprised that she hadn’t floated all the way to the ceiling. “Oh my gosh, there are six new ponies in town AND I HAVEN’T PLANNED A PARTY YET!” Pinkie shrieked and bolted out the door of the library. All the ponies in the force bubble stopped fighting/laughing/crying to watch the pink blur make her exit. Twilight sighed. “You had to say it Rainbow…” “What? She would have figured it out eventually,” the pegasus shrugged. The trapped ponies resumed their ridiculous actions. Sticks moved uncomfortably on his hooves. “But how did we get here? You said something about a castle, a box, and a bunch of stuff about... something I didn't understand. And magic? So your friend pushed a button and we appeared here?” Twilight cleared her throat. “Yes, once Pinkie pressed the button, the OTR spell activated, triggering a massive magical drain from local node reservoirs. From what I could ascertain, the capsule was created to cast a single inter-” Twilight was just hitting her stride when the library door opened again. Two ponies entered the semi-destroyed library. “Twiligh’, we came as fas’ as we could! We ‘eard a big explosion while we were at t’farm and saw smoke in town! Wha’ in tarnations happened?” Applejack’s hat was askew, and she seemed slightly out of breath. “Yes, darling, you really must warn a pony before you go around blowing up libraries and such. Some of us are rather delicate, and you gave us quite a fright!” Rarity tossed her perfect mane back as she viewed the library’s floor. “And really, you MUST invite me next time you decide redecorate. This new décor is simply horrid!” “Yeah Twiligh’, wha’ happened? Why is everything all… rubbley?” Applejacks eyes moved along the floor until she saw the six ponies trapped in the transparent purple force shield. “Aww, Twiligh’, wha’ dja do this time? Why’d you trap those poor ponies in there?” Rarity followed Applejacks gaze and saw the ponies in the bubble as well. Her jaw fell downward. “Why Twilight, did you honestly think you could trap these beautiful stallions in here and keep them all to yourself and Rainbow Dash? Really that is quite cruel of you. There truly aren’t enough stallions to go around.” She batted her eyelids at the ponies inside the magic dome. The green pony Did she already say her name? turned to Rarity with foam at the corners of her mouth. “DO. I. LOOK. LIKE. A. STALLION. TO. YOU?!?!” she screamed. “If I have to be a horse, at least use the proper term! I am a mare! A mare I tell you! MAAAARE!” By this time, Rarity was hiding behind Applejack, quivering in fear. “Twilight, I think you are quite right to lock them up. Please do not let that one out.” She grinned sheepishly at Twilight. “Wherever did these ruffians come from anyways?” Sticks looked at Rarity, obviously exasperated. “That’s what we’re trying to find out. So, magic button gets pressed, we appear here, and we’re now horses? I don’t get it. It sounds like the plot of a bad novel or something.” Twilight felt her cheeks redden slightly at the mention of novels coming from the other pony’s mouth. She always did like stallions who read... Stop it! Seriously, what is wrong with you? “Wait, did you just say that the spell made you horses? What do you mean by that?” Sticks cocked his head as he looked at her. “After we came here, we became horses. Before that we were humans. What would cause that?” Twilight stared at Sticks for a moment. Humans. Why have I never come across that term before? “What’s a human?” Rainbow Dash inquired. “Maybe we should ask Fluttershy. She seems to know about every kind of weird animals ever. It’s kinda freaky, actually.” Rarity nodded her head in agreement. “Um, humans aren’t animals.” Sticks seemed rather affronted by this. He then looked over his shoulder at his companions and their varying stages of insanity. “Well, we usually aren’t.” Twilight gazed at the other ponies. “Well, I may not have any idea where you came from or why, but an emotional shift spell is something I CAN deal with.” With that, the unicorn turned to the enchanted ponies. As she concentrated on manipulating the ley-lines around her, her horn began to glow a bright purple. She could feel the shift spell surrounding all the ponies except Sticks. It is odd he wasn’t affected… hmm… As she focused her energy on the webs, she could feel them unraveling. For an eternity that lasted a second, she fought with the spell, her power attacking the ancient magic. Then the webs were simply gone. Twilight fell to the ground, flanks heaving. Fighting a node spell while holding a shield spell up was just too much to handle. The shield collapsed, and all the ponies stopped their hysteria. All except for the Red horse who continued laughing. “Hey Gwen, I just realized why you’re being so violent. It’s because you’re horny! Bwahahaha!” Sticks hung his head, Gwen groaned, and Twilight rolled her eyes. It’s gonna be a long day… //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Four: Hope //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Four: Hope POV: Rodney (Firemane) Chapter Four “Hope” Rod sat on the floor and tried his hardest not to cry any more. He no longer felt the irresistible compulsion to bawl his eyes out now that the Purple Pony Her name is something like Sparkly Vampire, isn’t it? had cast her spell. No, he wanted to cry for a very different reason. He could move his legs. “Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry everypony!” Gwen exclaimed. “I never act like that usually! I just couldn’t help myself…” Even though Rod had been crying nonstop for the last ten minutes, he had still been paying attention. He wasn’t completely clueless about what was going on. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I was planning on going to a hospital later anyways.” Nick rubbed his head and grinned. “Besides, spells screw things up. I’ve seen it a thousand times on the show.” Sticks turned to Nick. “You’re talking about the ‘My Little Pony’ show, right? Can someone tell me how people can be sucked into a television show? And an obnoxious one at that?” Rods tilted his head, mind racing. What? My Little Pony? No way… “IT’S NOT AN OBNOXIOUS SHOW!” Nick, Penn, and Cyrus all shouted at once. Everyone turned to look at them. Nick looked defiant, Penn smiled unsurely, and Cyrus blushed himself purple. Rod opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by Rainbow Blast, or whatever her name was. “Not to interrupt you ponies, because I’d never do that,” Applejap snorted. “But what the hay are you talking about? ‘My little pony’ is a term of endearment. Why are you saying it’s a show?” The white and purple pony Rarehitty? gasped. “Oh, I just had the most MARVELOUS idea! A fashion show entitled ‘My Little Ponies’! I could showcase my talents for all Equestria to see by designing dresses for the most beeeeea-utiful fillies in the land. It would garner so much attention that EVERYPONY would know my name! Oh, what a wonderful idea!” Everypony stared at her. She smiled, obviously embarrassed, and said, “Oh, but by all means, continue.” “Back on Earth, which is where we come from, there is a show called ‘My Little Pony’, which is about s-” Nick began, but was quickly stopped by Penn. “NOOOOO!” Penn shouted, shoving a hoof over Nick’s mouth. “You could break everything! Remember what happened when a certain somepony went back in time to warn herself about what the future had to bring? The entire future was changed! If you keep talking, you’ll create a paradox!” Nicks eyes were wide as he looked at the pony holding his limb in front of his mouth. “Mmm, mm-mmay.” Penn apparently understood, because he lowered his hoof. Rainbow shook her head, rainbow mane flinging all around her. “Okay, I didn’t get a word you just said. Can you say that so everypony can understand?” Rarehitty and Applejaxs nodded their agreement, but Twilight was the first to speak. “Wait. If you give us this information you’ll create a paradox? A wrinkle in the space-time continuum?” Penn and Nick nodded solemnly. “Alright. Sorry girls, but Princess Celestia has taught me that the greatest risk facing a magic user is a disruption of the space-time. The entire universe could be destroyed with one false action!” The three curious ponies gasped in shock. But wait, Rodney thought to himself. Wouldn’t our own appearance here have already created a paradox? He opened his mouth once more to speak, but Penn was faster. “But wait. Wouldn’t our own appearance here have already created a paradox?” Penn's mouth fell so far down that he looked like he was about to eat a whole horse. That figure of speech takes a very cannibalistic turn here. “Hey, don’t over think it. Your brain will explode.” Nick nodded his head solemnly after he spoke. Sticks shook his head, his rugged mane swinging back and forth slightly. “ENOUGH!” he shouted. “We don’t need these metaphysical discussions about subjects that are about as real as magic!” He glaced at Twilight and his cheeks reddened. “Or, as real as… as… as something not real! We just need to know how we got here and how to get back! Nothing else matters.” His flanks heaved after his outburst. “I’m sorry everypony, it’s just getting to me. Twilight, you were saying something about how that box brought us here?” Twilight smiled as Sticks turned to her. What’s going on with those two? Aww man, I thought Sticks was a normal kind of dude. Does he have a crush on a unicorn? And does that unicorn like him back? Gosh, that sounds so retarded, even just in my head. “Yes, I was. I was going to say that from what I could ascertain, the capsule was created to cast a single interdimensional Omnidirectional Teleportation Retriever spell. I had thought this was entirely theoretical magic before we found the box, and my mind still reels at the implications of its existence. Our entire view of magic and the fabric of the universe could have been shifted just because Pinkie pressed that button. It would be Pinkie, wouldn’t it?” Applecerial, Rainbow Flash, and Rarepretty I really wish I was better at names… all nodded. “Anyways, to make a long explination short-” Too late… “I have no idea how this brought you here. The spell was gone so quickly after it was cast and left so little residue after it was gone that I saw nothing! And I have no idea how to get you back where you came from.” “Oh…” Sticks said weakly. “Well, why don’t you just look at the box again? Surely you could figure something out?” The other ponies nodded their agreement, but Twilight hung her head. “The box disappeared when the spell was cast. I don’t have it anymore.” Sticks groaned and sat on the ground. “So, is there any way else to find out how to get us home?” Twilight seemed thoughtful for a moment. “Well, I could write a letter to Princess Celestia… but Spike’s at Sugarcube Corner, and the Princess is probably busy having lunch now anyways.” As if following a cue, the rainbow pegasus’s stomach grumbled incredibly loudly. “Hey, speaking of lunch and Sugarcube Corner, why don’t we go get some food and keep talking there?” Her request was greeted with a chorus of agreement. “Yea’, let’s go. I’m starvin’!” “Yes, I concur with Rainbow Dash. Lunch would be an impeccably good choice.” “Count me in! I’ve always wanted to see it in person! Plus, food sounds amazing right now” “Oh man, this is gonna be awesome! It’ll be way better than all my other dreams! Well, except some of them... Hey, don’t look at me like that Gwen. I’m only joking.” Rod began to say “Yes, I’m hungry as well,” but once more, he was cut off. Sticks looked at all the ponies nodding around him and shrugged. “Sounds good to me. If we can’t do anything to get back, eating sounds like as good a plan as any. I’ve been hungry since I got here anyways. It’s kinda weird.” He does seem to say weird a lot… Twilight smiled. “Alright, Sugarcube Corner it is! Let’s go.” Everypony got up and walked to the door of the library-in-a-tree. Everypony except Rod, that is. Cyrus turned back before walking out the door. “You coming dude?” Rod stood shakily to his feet for the first time since he was a toddler. He felt tears well up in his eyes again. But this time, they were tears of joy and hope. “Yeah. I’m coming.” //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Five: Surprise //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Five: Surprise POV: Rainbow Dash Chapter Five “Surprise!” Ten ponies walked out of the library. Nine of them were walking, but of those, only three managed to walk down the road without falling every few steps. The one pony who was not walking hovered over their heads, barely containing her snickers. Man, these ponies have to be the least coordinated bunch I have ever seen in my life! I’d be crying if the pegesai tried any flight at all. They’d probably make Fluttershy look like a Wonderbolt!  Rainbow Dash giggled at the thought. She looked down at the stumblers, and her grin grew to almost Pinkie-like proportions. The ridiculousness of their gait was just too much for her. The stallion named Sticks seemed to be walking the best, but just as Rainbow thought this, he managed to forget to lift his front right leg on time. This caused him to fall over, knocking green mare that was walking next to him over. Rainbow couldn’t stifle her laughter this time, and neither could Twilight. Rainbow’s unicorn friend tried to cover her laugh with a cough, but she couldn’t hide her snort from her friends. Really, what is with that mare anyways? She’s acting really weird. Rainbow wasn’t distracted by her friend for long, as the show below her continued to unfold. Nick the joker managed to trip on the same rock three times, Penn the egghead was so busy looking at everything around him that he stepped on Cyrus the crybaby’s tail. Cyrus jumped into the air with a cry of pain. But rather than coming back down to the ground like a normal pony would, his wings began flapping, which caused him to remain airborne. Penn and the pony with the red hair gaped at him. Cyrus and Rainbow Dash gasped simultaneously, but a second later, Cyrus fell to the ground with a resounding THUMP! as his rump hit the ground. All the ponies gasped, even the two who were barely managing to pull themselves onto their hooves. “Did you see that? I flew!” Cyrus jumped back to his feet, showing a level of coordination Rainbow hadn’t expected. “I bet I can do it again. Someone step on my tail so I can try!” Nick chuckled. “You don’t have to ask me that twice.” He pounced on Cyrus’s tail in a way that would have put Opal to shame, which caused Cyrus to leap into the air once more. His wings flapped weakly, but he didn’t stay in the air for long at all, and this time he didn’t have the advantage of having remained stationary above the ground for any length of time. He rapidly fell to the earth, face first. The smack that resulted as he nosedived back to the ground was even louder than the thump from before. Rainbow snickered. “Silly pony, you can’t fly like that. It takes a while for a baby pegasus to get a hang of her wings… and you’re pretty much a baby pegasus.” Cyrus glared up at her, his face a deep purple as he mumbled something about a self-assured doggie. Penn glaced at him. “Rainbow is correct. Everything I’ve read or ascertained seems to indicate that control of a pegasus’s wings or a unicorn’s magic beyond a purely instinctive level takes a considerable amount of time. That’s why some baby pegasai or unicorn can achieve feats that most young members of the same type would struggle to reproduce. There are many examples of this on the… thing.” He stumbled over the last words. What are those ponies hiding? I get that they’re all super special kinds of ponies back wherever they’re from, but that doesn’t mean that they have to not tell us stuff. Especially me! I love knowing stuff! Penn looked at Gwen. “You have any idea what they’re talking about?” Gwen shook her head. “Nope, I’m clueless about this.” The group continued walking down main street, but Twilight looked pensive. She turned to Applejack and Rarity. “Hey girls, did you happen to notice that the streets were completely empty when you came to the library?” Applejack shook her head, her braided mane almost hitting Rarity in the face. This caused the prissy mare to frown disapprovingly, but Applejack didn’t notice. “Naw, we didn’. Why do ya ask?” Twilight replied, “Because, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re the only ponies on the street! Where is everypony?” Rainbow Dash looked around. Upon seeing that Twilight was correct, she felt her jaw drop. How did I not notice that nopony was looking at me? Man, I must be losing my touch… Wait, why isn’t anypony looking at me? Don’t they know that I’m awesome and deserve to be watched all the time? I’ll just have to show them! Maybe I can get a sonic rainboom to work again… Rainbow’s thoughts continued along these lines, and she barely payed the rest of the group any mind. “Oh my, you are quite correct Twilight! I wonder, why would everypony would be inside on such a lovely day?” Rarity inquired. “There were many ponies out on the street when we arrived at the library. Why, many of them were gathered right here! I believe Vinyl Scratch was preparing an impromptu performance. Why would they all have left?” Penn cocked his head to the side as if considering something. He suddenly gasped and turned to Nick and Cyrus. “Guys! What happens when there are new ponies in town?” Nick tried to scratch his head with his hoof but failed. “Umm… if it’s a zebra everyone runs away…” Cyrus shrugged, no mean feat for a pony who was still lying on the ground. “The mayor makes a big speech?” Penn sighed, his head hanging down. “No, what does PINKIE do when there are new ponies in town?” Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, Twilight, Nick, and Cyrus simultaneously exclaimed, “A party!” Rainbow grinned, “When Pinkie throws a party, I’m SOOO there!” “Rainbow, when Pinkie Pie throws a party, EVERYPONY’S there!” Penn cried. “Hey, how do you know so much about Pinkie Pie’s parties? I thought you weren't from around here?” Rainbow glared Penn suspiciously. “Rainbow! Remember, we can’t risk a paradox!” Twilight practically yelled at the pegasus. Suddenly, Nick seemed to realize something, and his face contorted in fear. “Penn! If we could break the space-time-whatsit just by saying one wrong thing, how will we answer all the questions everypony will be asking when we meet them? What do we say when we’re asked where we’re from? What happens when they ask what our cutie marks mean? What if we say one wrong thing and we blink out of existence?” He fell to the ground and covered his eyes in fear. Rarity rolled her eyes. “What a drama queen.” Penn looked at the cowering pony. “Obviously, we aren’t going to blink out of existence just by saying something. If we could, we already would have. At least Twilight has figured out part of where we’re from because of the context of our discussions.” Twilight nodded her agreement. “But it doesn’t make sense to take any unnecessary risks. We should all just agree on a cover story and try to avoid any personal questions.” Cyrus nodded from on the ground. Why doesn’t that silly pony get up already? What is he, a newborn colt? “Hey, we should all say we’re from Manehattan!” Penn considered this. “No, because some ponies here have been to Manehattan before, and they’d know our accents are fake. Any other ideas?” Nick had one apparently. “Las Pegasus?” “Do we look like we all have wings?” “Oh, hadn’t thought of that. Fillydelphia?” “Well, that might work. How much do you know about it?” “Umm, it’s a city?” “Not good enough. You have any ideas Sticks?” Everypony looked at Sticks. Kinda getting sick of this Sticks dude. He’s such an attention hog. “Hey, don’t look at me! I don’t know anything about this place!” Gwen nodded her head. “Me either. It’s up to you guys.” Red-mane shrugged. "All all the cities named after pun versions of Earth cities?" The ponies continued naming cities, but every time, Penn shot them down. “Uhh, Baltimare?” “No, I think Octavia has a cousin there.” “Well, how about Oaklahomah? “No, Fluttershy’s friends have probably been there before.” How the hay does he know Fluttershy too? How does he know everyone here if he’s not from here? “Ooh-ooh, what about Stallionsberg?” “Is that even a city?” Rainbow Dash sighed and stopped listening about then. She looked at her friends, and they too were looking quite bored. Well, this is so much more fun than what I could be doing right now. Like, for instance, napping… Twilight finally had enough, and she interrupted the three stallions. “Hey, how about I say that you six are old friends who are visiting from Canterlot? That way, you can avoid any awkward questions, since I could answer them for you. I do agree that not everypony needs to know that you aren’t really ponies, but you guys are making WAY too big a deal out of it.” She began walking toward Sugarcube Corner, with Applejack and Rarity hot on her heels. Sticks grinned, “We should listen to her. She seems to know what she’s talking about with basically everything.” He loped happily after Twilight. The red-maned stallion laughed. Rainbow looked at him quizzically. “What’s so funny?” Red-mane snorted. “Uhh, nothing really. I’ll tell you later.” He smiled sweetly. Yeah, smile all pretty-like if you want, but you’re not fooling me. I’ve got my eye on all of you. Not that that's a hard thing to do for you, you do have a very nice flank... Cyrus looked at red. “What’s your name anyways, dude? Everyone else shared theirs, but you were too busy sobbing.” Red looked kind of sheepish. “It’s Rod. And I couldn’t help myself.” Rod looked down at the ground and slowly began following Stick’s trail. He looked… happy as he watched his hooves. Too happy. There’s something fishy going on here. And I’m going to get to the bottom of it, space-time-whatsit or no space-time-whatsit. When the group arrived at Sugarcube Corner’s doorway, Nick turned to face the group. “No matter what happens in there, remember why we’re here. THE FOOD!” Nick suddenly opened the door and ran inside. After a moment his voice rang from inside. “Hey, I thought there was going to be a party in here!” The rest of the group entered the sweetshop and were met by a great shock. Pinkie was nowhere in sight. Rainbow Dash smirked. “Well, aren’t you guys glad that you made that amazing cover story?” //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Six: Watching //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Six: Watching POV: Lord Vengeance Chapter Six Watching Up on the rooftops Ponyville, high above the heads of ten unsuspecting ponies, Lord Ven stared at the sky. It had been quite a while since he was last here and even longer since he had seen… Never mind, it isn’t important. What is important, though, are those buffoons. Ven felt his lip twist upward as he watched several of the ponies fall comically in one way or another. Ridiculous. Impossible to imagine that I was just like that once. A soft swooping noise from a nearby rooftop distracted him from his spying, causing him to redouble the magic he had been pouring into his invisibility aura. He turned sharply and saw a figure that was at once familiar and strange gazing in his direction. Princess Luna, the restored guardian of the night, stood regally upon the roof to Lord Ven’s right. Well, at least now I know that I cannot hide my magic from her, just as I cannot hide it from her sister. He allowed his aura to drop, and with a flap of this wings he closed the distance between them. To her credit, Luna barely flinched at the sight of the cloaked Alicorn leaping at her, but she did not attempt to hide her surprise. “My Princess,” Lord Ven bowed. “How may I be of service?” Luna starred at him for a moment. Everypony does. When there hasn’t been a war for one thousand years, a pony with more scars than the rest of the soldiers of Equestria put together always draws a few eyes. “THOU ART- ahem, thou art the one my sister calls Lord Vengeance?” The princess of the moon seemed to realize the royalty of the pony standing before her and switched to the Low Canterlot voice. “Yes milady, and I am at your command. How may I assist you?” Lord Ven felt his speech becoming more and more formal. In her presence? Yes, formal is probably a good thing. “My sister hath requested that the two of us sojourn for a while to discuss some things. My detection spell hath led me to you.” Her eyes met his, and he could see something beneath them. Mistrust? Doubt? Fear? “Very well my Princess, what do you wish to know?” He nodded to the edge of the rooftop and slowly made his way over to watch the ten ponies below him as they talked. Luna followed a few moments after. “Thou art the one who took over the watching of the night during my... exile? And the one who hath reformed the Equestrian army? And the one who hath informed my sister of the impending invasion?” “Yes to all counts,” Ven replied solemnly. “Celestia has filled you in on our intelligence for what is coming?” Luna nodded. “At length. I thank thee for guarding the last night, for it would have been quite difficult to learn that all of this is happening while watching all of Equestria.” Ven nodded sharply. “It is my pleasure. So you know who these are then?” Princess Luna gazed at the streets below them. “The new bearers of the elements, and your six. I am uncomfortable with so many… humans… walking the streets of our land. It is odd.” He chuckled. “Do we make you that nervous milady?” Princess Luna turned sharply to face him. "Thou art one of them?” The silver Alicorn bowed. “Guilty as charged. Although, I have been a pony for far longer than I was a human. What is twenty years against a thousand? I am far more of an Alicorn than a human.” His smile was quite wry. “I suppose that is not much comfort to you though.” The Princess regarded him with a highly composed look. “Well, I suppose it is a bit. At least I know of one human who behaves in an honorable manner, thus there may be hope for the rest of them.” Ven chuckled and the Princess allowed herself a faint snort of laughter, but it was short lived. The two of them watched as the red earth pony ran into Sugarcube Corner with a shout of, “THE FOOD!” Ven turned and sighed. “That is my cue. I apologize Princess, but perhaps now is not the best time for our ‘sojourn,’ as you put it. There are matters I must attend to, and you should probably rest before tonight.” Ven walked to the other side of the rooftop. "So soon? We have very much to discuss," The Princess seemed to tense as Ven walked away from her. "Yes we do. But now is quite inconvenient for me. Celestia has informed you of Project Vorpal?" Luna nodded curtly. "Then you know how time sensitive it is. I merely need confirmation of the elements meeting the other six. Vorpal is now officially in motion." Luna's eyes widened. Understandable. Vorpal always was the most extreme part of our plan. Perhaps even extreme enough to allow us to survive... “Very well Lord Vengeance. We shall meet again soon.” The Alicorn Princess spread her wings and was about to take off, but Ven interrupted her. “Milady, please call me Ven. I never have been comfortable with that full name.” The Princess turned to face him, her face quizzical. “Why doth thou not approve of thine own name?” Her speech suddly became extremely formal for some reason, but Ven chose to ignore it. “It isn’t my given name. I took it when… well, I took it a long time ago.” He smiled sadly at her, trying to hide the sadness behind his eyes. “I am much more comfortable with Ven.” Luna cocked her head to the side. “Then why would thou use this name? Would not thy given name be more appropriate? Perhaps I could use it instead if you told me.” Ven shook his head sadly. “I am sorry Princess, but I cannot use that name any more. I am no longer that pony. Ven will do just fine.” Luna raised her eyebrow. “Very well then… Ven. We shall continue our conversation again soon. Fare thee well.” And with that, the Princess of the night took off into the sky. Ven choked back tears when she was out of sight. Never again. I cannot return here. That old life is gone. Vengeance is all that remains. He hopped smoothly down into one of the few alleyways in Ponyville and walked over to a puddle in the middle of the road. He stared down into the extremely scarred face that gazed back at him and saw the face contort in anger. Why? Why was fate so cruel? He recalled vaguely the two other faces he had worn in his life, the face of the human he began as and the face of the pony he once was, so long ago. The face that looked back at him was hard. Scarred. A face that was a mask even to the Princesses who knew who he really was. He looked into the eyes that had not been gold so long ago, at the ears that had once been whole, at the cheeks that once had never been touched by blades, talons, or fire. The body that had once been a completely different color, without the slightly curved Alicorn horn or the regal wings now fixed to his back. How he longed for his old body... This is who I am now. Nothing will ever change that. Ven had told himself this more times than he could ever count, but it still felt fake to him. Just as fake as the front he put up that hid his desperation and longing from everypony he knew. As fake as his life had become. But what IS real is the enemy. They may have destroyed everything that I held dear. They may have destroyed me. They may have destroyed the only one had ever loved. But not again. Never again. This time, they will not succeed. This time I will not fail. And with that last thought, the Alicorn teleported himself to Canterlot, leaving Ponyville and his memories far behind. //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Seven: Introductions //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter Seven: Introductions POV: Penn Chapter Six “Introductions” “Well, aren’t you guys glad you made that amazing cover story?” Rainbow Dash was smirking as she flew over Penn’s head and into Sugarcube Corner. Penn glanced up at the pegasus and sighed. I don’t think she was this… mean in the show… Everypony else walked into the sweetshop, eyes searching quizzically. Just like Nick had said, there was no party here. No ponies in sight at all, actually. “Wait one caramel-apple-lickin’-minute. If Mr. and Mrs. Cake ain’t here, how’re we gonna get any grub?” Applejack stamped her foot in anger. Now that we know about the profanity filter, that makes everything Applejack says… more interesting is a good way to put it. Rarity turned to Applejack to speak, but she was interrupted by a loud belch emanating from the kitchen. “Well, I suppose my next comment is quite irrelevant now. I’m off to see what Spiky-wiky is doing.” Rarity trotted off to see the belching dragon. “Spiiiike!” she called in a singsong voice. “Hello Spike! And hello Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I am so very glad to see you!” Rarity is a lot prettier in person. Actually, they all are! Wait, If this world is changing our names, filtering our profanity, not to mention making us ponies in the first place, what else has it changed? What if it really has made us ponies, with a pony’s wants and needs? Oh gosh, what if it made us… Penn was lost in his own thoughts and didn’t even notice that everypony else had gone into the kitchen, leaving him alone. He heard a voice from in the kitchen. “Well, hi Rarity! What are you doing here? And you too Twilight! And, umm, who are your friends?” Penn walked into the kitchen of Surgarcube Corner and didn’t even attempt to suppress his grin. It would have been a lost cause. Everypony stood right near the entrance to the kitchen, but in the back were two ponies and one baby dragon. Mr. and Mrs. Cake smiled at the group, but Spike looked curious and slightly defensive, especially when he looked at Rarity. Well that makes sense. He does have a crush on her, and we are all stallions. NO, don’t think about that anymore! Oh, the fanfiction flashbacks! Mrs. Cake grinned at the group. “Oh, Rarity, it’s so good to see you! And all of your friends too! It’s so great to have you all here! I’d have thought you’d be with everypony else, doing whatever they’re off doing though. But where are my manners, who are your new friends? I’m Mrs. Cake, and this is Mr. Cake.” The plump mare nodded to her lanky husband. “We own and run Sugarcube Corner, as your friends must have told you. Go ahead and sit down, we have the best sweets in all Ponyville! And the best muffins, cinnamon rolls, sweetbreads, rolls, cakes, cupcakes…” Mrs. Cake continued to name foods. With ever word, Penn could feel himself getting hungrier and hungrier, and from the looks of his drooling companions, they felt the exact same way. “…cotton candy, hard candy, and pretty much any other candy as well!” Mrs Cake finished cheerfully as Mr. Cake smiled at his drooling customers. “Well, they look ready for some food! Spike, I bet you’ll want to eat with them, even if you do want to know how to make gem-cake. How about I get you a recipe for it later?” Spike seemed quite happy as he and the ponies headed into the dining area. “Thanks Mr. Cake! You guys are the best!” Twilight and Rarity pulled two tables together with magic, and all the ponies plus one happy little dragon sat down. “So who are these guys?” Spike asked Twilight. Twilight went through the round of introductions, and Spike smiled at each in turn. Interesting. Dragons become less defensive when offered food. Must remember this. I really wish I had a notebook! There is just too much to write down! “So, where are you guys from?” With that one innocent question hanging in the air, everypony looked at the floor, quite uncomfortable. Twilight was the first to break the silence. “They’re some of my old friends from Canterlot.” She grinned at her assistant, but he squinted his eyes as he looked into hers. Oh Discord. This was a Bad Idea. In capitals. Spike, Princess Celestia, Shining Armor, and Cadence were Twilights only friends in Canterlot, and Spike knows it. “Twilight, I thought I knew all your friends, but I never met them,” The dragon raised his eyebrow. “Umm, well, you see… they were, uh, friends from… a party! Yeah, we met at a party!” Twilight’s words seemed to have deserted her. She smiled sheepishly at the dragon. “Twilight, you went to parties… without me? Why did you lie to me and say you never did? Didi I do something wrong so you didn’t want to bring me?” The dragon’s eyes began welling up with tears. Twilight hung her head. “I’m sorry Spike. I can't lie to you. I never went to any parties and they aren’t from Canterlot. I’ll… I’ll tell you where they’re from, but it’s not something I can say when anypony can hear.” She looked at the kitchen, and upon seeing the closed doors, she beckoned to Spike. “Come here quickly and I can tell you.” Spike hurried over to Twilight, and as she whispered in his ear his eyes widened in shock. “No. Way!” Twilight nodded, smiling at Spikes dumbfounded expression. The dragon walked numbly back to his seat between next to Rarity. He faced Penn as if to say something, but turned away just as quickly. Mr. Cake walked out of the kitchen with eleven menus. “Just let me know when you’re ready.” When Penn received his menu, his stomach rumbled more loudly than ever before in his life. Dimensional travel must affect the internal organs. Or maybe we have entirely new bodies that have no food within their systems. Aww man, I really need a notebook. “Everything looks so good, I can’t choose!” Nick grumbled from off to Penn’s left. He heard several other ponies echoing Nick’s sentiment. “Is it healthy for a pony to eat only sweets?” Gwen inquired. Applejack laughed. “Hey, don’ worry none about tha’. Ah’ll be righ’ back with some apples.” She smiled and exited the sweetshop. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but this muffin sampler looks AMAZING!” Cyrus licked his lips. “That’s totally what I’m getting.” Penn looked over his menu thoughtfully. I can’t believe I’m really here… with THEM! He snuck a peek over his menu at the ponies all around him. Twilight was directly across the table form him, with Spike seated next to her. Rarity was next to Spike, and Rainbow Dash had settled into the chair next to him. She saw him looking around, and when he met her eyes, she glared at him. Penn smiled shyly at her, but she looked away. What is up with her anyways? I don’t think she was like this in the show much at all… After a few moments, everypony had decided on their food. Mr. Cake came back to take their orders and menus. After he left, the front door opened, admitting a smiling Applejack bearing a large basket of apples. “Here we go, everypony! Plenty of apples for all of y’all! But guess what else I found besides apples out there?” The orange pony moved aside, revealing a butterscotch colored pony with pink hair. “She was hidin’ in the bushes out by mah stand when I walked by. She nearly jumped all the way to the moon when I tapped her on the back.” Applejack guffawed. Fluttershy mumbled  something indistinct and stayed hidden behind her hair. “Aww, c’mon Fluttershy, don’t be so… well, shy! These here ponies are new in town, so we need to give ‘em a good ole-fashioned Ponyville welcome!” And with that, Applejack whisked Fluttershy into the empty spot next to Rod with a “Yeehaw!” and grabbed herself a chair. Fluttershy let out a small yelp at the sudden movement then blushed furiously. She turned to Rod and looked away immediately, and what little could be seen of her face was bright red. Twilight went through yet another round of introductions, this time without the explanation of where they were from. This time she got away with it since Fluttershy was so busy staring hiding behind her hair that she didn’t question the explanation. I guess we’ll just tell her later. No need to freak her out even further. Yet. Right about this time, Mr. Cake came out with their food, which included several platters of muffins and cupcakes as well as quite a few brownies. “Lunch is served! Just give me a shout if you need anything, we’ll be right in the kitchen! We’re working on creating an entirely new kind of cake, so if you hear any explosions, it’s my wife’s fault. Enjoy your meal everypony!” With that, he set the platters down on the table and trotted back to the kitchen. Everypony looked at their food for a moment without saying a word. The moment turned into a minute without anypony saying anything. Just as Penn was about to break the awkward silence, Nick jumped up, grabbed a cupcake and scarfed it down like it was nothing. “So how about that weather?” He grinned at everypony. After another second of stunned silence, Spike began to chuckle. Then Rarity. Then Cyrus. Finally the whole table burst out in laughter, including Fluttershy, who even managed a weak giggle. “Alright everypony, let’s eat!” declared Twilight who grabbed a muffin. Penn smiled as he took a brownie and an apple. I could get used to this… //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter One: Normal //-------------------------------------------------------// Chapter One: Normal Chapter One “Normal” Steve Rimmel sat in his normal spot in the café, drank his normal coffee, and tried desperately to think of anything but his normal life. He sighed, running his fingers through his brown hair. I never really expected this. As he sipped his now lukewarm mocha, he thought back on the day and couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Not laugh loudly; he didn’t want to draw attention, but laughed nonetheless. Jen’s an idiot. Why’d I even think that inviting my ex-almost-girlfriend to join my band would be a good idea? Well, it could have been worse. She could have… Never mind, nothings worse than being kicked out of your own band. He stared off into space and decided to humor himself. I good pity-party is just what the doctor ordered. Just as he was about to commence his wallowing, he was interrupted by a kind voice from behind him. “Sir, is your coffee okay? You keep scowling whenever you drink it.” He turned to face the waitress behind him. She had a concerned expression on her face… her face! Wow, how’d I never see HER before? “Umm, sir? Are you alright?” The waitress looked even more concerned now that Steve was staring off at something other than space. Steve shook himself, mentally cursing at his ineptitude where the opposite sex was concerned, and replied, “Sorry, I’m fine. Just thinking about some stuff.” He gave a reassuring grin. Well, he hoped it passed for a reassuring grin. She smiled back. “Okay, just let me know if you need anything.” As she turned to walk away, Steve sighed again. Really got to stop sighing. Probably causes some kind of medical condition. Having been shaken from his mopey daydreams, he took the time to look around the café. There were a lot of people in today, and Steve recognized only the barista. The smallish shop, situated in one of the slightly upper-class neighborhoods in Los Angeles, was usually the haunt of middle aged to elderly patrons, which was why Steve usually hung out there. It kept things quiet. Today, that was quite untrue. The midsized dining area was packed with customers considerably younger than its usual demographic. Actually, most looked to be teenagers. Weird. Off in one corner, it looked like there was a baseball team celebrating a victory. Ýeah, baseball players only act like that if they’d won. They’d have to be really drunk to act like that after a loss. Do they even serve alcohol here? Next to them was a group of collage age guys dressed in ratty sweatshirts and nasty jeans. From their matching tattoos they must be… In the same reading club. Yeah, that’s it. There were several other groups. A few cheerleaders here, a couple of lovebirds there, but Steve’s eyes were drawn to the other side of the room. Mostly single customers over there, with a few pairs thrown in. By the door, he saw a nerdy looking young man sitting in front of his computer. He giggled at something on screen, earning a glare from a few nearby patrons. Nerdy didn't seem to care though. Although some patrons were eyeing Nerdy as he laughed yet again, the man sitting at the table next to him didn’t seem to mind his incessant guffaws. The young man sat in his wheelchair, nibbling his muffin and reading a book. He turned slightly, but didn't give any other signs that he noticed the silly noise at all. Well, this isn't creepy at all. Just sitting around, observing the lives of everyone around me and commenting on them in my head. Isn't that a sign of some neurological disorder? Oy, I'm being WAY to obsessive about my mental state. Note to self: Get a therapist. Steve rolled his head back and stared at the ceiling. Life really sucks when this is what passes for fun. He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing that life didn’t suck this much. As he opened his eyes, an inexplicably brilliant flash of light nearly blinded him, just as the floor began shaking. Steve was tossed from his chair as he heard the panicked exclamations of his fellow customers. An earthquake? Woah, it's gotta be a big one! He tried to stand while rubbing his eyes, but the floor would not cooperate. He tumbled further along the floor until he crashed into one of the baseball players, who fell over with a surprised “Umph!” When Steve finally was able to see again, he wished he still couldn’t. Chaos reigned over the coffeeshop, as patrons and employees alike ran shakily to the door. Why go out there? It’s safer in here. That’s when he noticed that the cars outside the café weren’t moving. He was about to ponder this when the roof began to fall downward. A beam struck the young man in the wheelchair, flinging to the ground. The nerd and one of the kids in the yucky clothes ran to help him, but they too were knocked to the ground by another falling beam. “Come on man, get up!” the baseball player shouted at him. “They need help!” Steve pulled himself unsteadily to his feet and sprinted to the growing pile of rubble. This is insane! I could die! But… I’d want them to do it for me. He continued his mad dash to the hapless trio. The baseball player arrived at the same time he did, and so did the pretty waitress. The three of them tried to pull the trapped men out of the rubble, but to no avail. “This isn’t working!” he shouted. The waitress looked at him and was about to speak, when a mass of something hit Steve in the head. The last thing he saw was the rest of the roof giving way. Then he saw nothing. *** Steve woke with a massive headache. And a massive ache in his chest. And a massive ache basically everywhere else as well. And to top it off, literally, he was still covered in rubble. Well, at least I’m still alive. At least I think I’m alive. I feel really weird though. Weird, and hurt. “Hey, anyone else out there?” Steve heard a man’s muffled voice from somewhere to his left. “Yeah,” Steve managed to sputter between coughs. “I’m here.” “Me too,” another voice replied. “I’m, ugh, I’m alive,” a light tenor sounded somewhere to Steve’s right. He heard what he thought were two other voices, but he couldn’t quite make them out. The first voice, the baritone from the right, spoke, “I’m going to try to get out. I think I can lift some of this… Oh my gosh!” The voice cut out as the rubble all around Steve was covered in a glowing purple haze. Dust filled Steve’s eyes, and he closed his eyes to keep more from coming into them. He felt the weight lifting off of him, but he still couldn’t move or open his eyes, on account of his soreness and the dust. “Oh my gosh, WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON?” the baritone voice screamed next to him. “What the feather?” the tenor exclaimed. “Wha- I don’t under-,” a distinctly female voice stuttered. “Holy cupcakes, what is this!?!?” yet another voice shouted. He heard sobbing to his right. Steve tried to open his eyes, but the dust stung too much. As he brought his hands up to his eyes he asked, “Guys? What’s going on with-” His hands reached his eyes. Or, rather, his not hands reached his eyes. He opened his eyes despite the dust, and he saw them. Hooves. He had hooves. “Oh…” was all he managed. He looked past the hooves, HIS hooves, and saw something that scared him for the rest of his life. “I HAVE A TAIL!” he screamed, and jumped to his feet. But he didn’t have feet any more. He fell awkwardly back into the rubble. “Nonononononono,” he muttered as he slammed his eyes shut. This can’t be happening! All around him, he heard cries of dismay. He opened his eyes once more and saw five other… horses… rolling around just as he was. “No way, I am NOT a feathering horse!” “It’s a dream, it’s just a dream!” One voice could only sob. “Wh- How- Why-,” “Dude, I’ve been on some trips before, but this one takes the cake. Who spiked my coffee?” Steve was the first to regain his composure. He stood shakily to his feet. Hooves. What. The. Hay. He looked around himself and his panicking companions. They were in a library. That looked like a tree. Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaah. He turned around to see three horses looking at them, dumbfounded expressions on their faces. One hovered above the ground, kept aloft by her His? blue wings. Her rainbow hair was in disarray. The second was pink, with curly hair that would have made some of Steve’s rapper friends jealous. She had the biggest smile on her face Steve had ever seen. The last one was a light purple, from her hooves to her horn. HORN? She seemed the most in shock of the three. Steve gaped at them for only a minute or so. He shook himself and opened his mouth. “Uh, hi.”