Chapters Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Chapter 3 "Kill the Butler"
Chapter 3
“Kill the Butler”
There was a deathly silence as everypony took in the sight of Bastion on the floor. The Bluebloods along with the maid from earlier all looked at the body, as if expecting the butler to come to life at any moment. My hoofsteps broke the silence as I stepped forward and put my hoof to Bastion’s neck. I slowly said, “He’s dead.”
“I could’ve guessed that myself, boy!” Lord Blueblood growled through gritted teeth.
“What happened exactly?” I asked.
Lady Blueblood finally stopped whimpering and explained, “We were, just talking and then he just... fell over...”
“Fell over?” I repeated, and then lifted the stallions head so I could look at his lips. I saw they were blue, and the color was drained from his face. “Some kind of poison,” I concluded.
“Oh dear Luna,” the Maid said. She looked about ready to faint herself.
I stood up, and turned around to look at Flash, he stood at attention as I ordered, “Keep any onlookers from getting in here.”
The orange pegasus nodded and stepped outside. Twilight gave the stallion an odd look but then went back to the body. “Do you think we can call Forceps?”
“At this time of night it’s best not to even think about calling,” I said, shuddering at the last time I called Forceps this late. Suffice to say, it involved Granny Smith, and some kind of wild fantasy about somepony named Hasslehoof.
“I shall see to it.” We all turned to see Celestia walk into the room. By her side was Tabletop, the older stallion put a hoofkerchef to his muzzle at the sight of the body. Celestia remained eerily cool around it. She spoke to us, “I can get a personal forensics team in here within five minutes, as for the body I will leave it to you to examine it how you can, and then I will personally get a pathologist to examine it.”
“Your highness,” Lord Blueblood spoke up. “With all due respect, isn’t this a job for the Noble Quarter Police?”
“You are looking at one of the greatest detectives in Equestria,” Celestia said, a small smirk coming to her face. “I don’t think you will need much else.”
“But surely,” Lord Blueblood argued. “He is my butler, I should decide wh-”
“Please Pure!” Lady Blueblood cried, looking at him in earnest. “The sooner we put all of this behind us the better!”
Tabletop then walked past me to Lady Blueblood. “Fantasia, I will make sure that Private sees this matter through.”
“Thank you dear brother,” Lady Blueblood smiled. “Now, let us leave before I have to look at the corpse a minute longer.”
Celestia nodded, “I will take you all to another room, then Private can work.”
With that, Twilight and I were left alone in the room with the corpse. I bent over and rolled Bastion onto his back, fiddling in his suit jacket for anything useful. I pulled out a pocket watch, the glass was cracked. “12:30, the crack looks recent so he must’ve broken it in the fall.”
“At least we have a time of death,” Twilight said, looking around the room. “But how could he have been poisoned?”
“Depends on the kind,” I explained, tossing aside a wallet and some gloves I found inside his suit jacket. “He could’ve drank it out of something.”
“There aren’t any cups or glasses in here,” Twilight said, opening the drawer of a dresser.
I then took a swab to Bastion’s mouth. I then ran a scanning spell over the swab. “Nothing we can tell without lab equipment. I can’t detect anything in his saliva.”
“What about his blood?” Twilight asked, holding up one of the butler's hooves.
“You’re a genius Twi!” I beamed, kissing her on the cheek.
She smiled, “You don’t get to be a detective's assistant without picking up a few things.”
I pulled a needle out of my trench coat, a leftover from when Rarity had it, and pricked a little blood from Bastion’s leg. I then took a swab to the blood and put a scanning spell in it again.
“Traces of cyanide, looks like whatever did this acted quickly on his blood. There’s no way he died slowly,” I concluded.
“Anything else we can guess?” Twilight asked.
“Not much until Celestia’s workers are finished with the place unfortunately.” I said, getting up and setting Bastion’s body on it’s side. “We’d better get going, we got suspects to interview.”
Twilight then smiled.
“What?” I asked.
“Just feels, almost like our first case. Us two, running around trying to find the bad guy. I know it’s terrible what happened, but I’m glad to still be a part of finding the killer.”
I smiled and kissed her again, “Come on, we got a butler killer to find.”
With that, we both left the room, letting Bastion rest as we ventured to find his killer.
__________________________________________________________________
Twilight and I were about to enter the second study, this one having guards posted out front. It wasn’t long before we heard Lord Blueblood’s voice come out of the room. He was not happy.
“I am trying to leave and acquire a real detective. I don’t understand why you cannot let me do that. I will not allow pure-bred ponies of noble blood to be persecuted by that peasant hybrid. Everypony here, knows he will accuse a noble, first and foremost,” Lord Blueblood ranted. “A Detective from the Noble Quarter would investigate this case, getting the correct result.”
“I’m sorry Lord Blueblood,” the guard he was talking to said, “But Princess Celestia has us under strict orders not to allow anypony who was in that room to leave.”
“This is an outrage!” Lord Blueblood yelled.
“Darling please,” his wife’s voice tried to stop his rage.
“Silence Fantasia! You will do well to-”
Twilight and I entered the room, and Lord Blueblood immediately shut up. Lord Tabletop’s study was pretty impressive. Dark wood shelves and cabinets lined the walls, a dark green wallpaper or paint colored the visible walls, and the occasional tasteful painting, or elaborately carved mask was on display. Large, overstuffed chairs, in a rich brown color were arranged in conversational groups around heavy hardwood tables. There was even a sideboard, with cut crystal bottles filled with various liquids. Probably alcohol. Wonder if he had any of Grapes’ more esoteric experiments in fermentation?
Lady Blueblood was sitting on one of the chairs, a fan in her magic blowing on herself. The maid was sitting on one of the chairs; she still looked to be in shock. Lord Blueblood was standing in front of Flash Sentry. Poor guy, having to put up with so much nobility idiocy all in one night.
Flash turned to us as we moved in. “I kept them all here as you requested,”
“Thank you Flash,” I said with a nod.
Flash’s eyes fell on Twilight, Twilight in turn smiled and nodded, “I thank you for your assistance, my husband and I will take it from here. Though we may need the guard outside should anything get hectic.”
Flash smiled and nodded, “Hey, anything for the guys who helped save some of my buddies during the Alicorn Summit.”
With that, the pegasus left and went to join his fellow guards outside. Twilight smiled after him. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“It’s a good thing to have a friend in the guard,” I smiled. “At least one that doesn't threaten to swim out to the island just to make sure I treated his sister okay.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, muttered something about stallions and I was immediately faced with a glare from Blueblood Senior.
“I do not know what Princess Celestia is thinking, but I will not have you trounce over a case you should not be involved with.”
Before I could argue Twilight got between us. She glared at Lord Blueblood, “Don’t even think about kicking him out. Otherwise we could just as easily have you take interviews in a prison cell.”
Lord Blueblood’s boldness fell to Twilight’s glare. He finally huffed and simply walked away. Twilight turned to me, “I’m thinking we should interview the maid first. That way he can’t shut her down if something goes wrong during his interview.”
I smiled and said gently, “Could you come with us? We need to ask you a few questions.”
Lord Blueblood was about ready to protest, but one look from Twilight dared him to try it. The maid looked torn, but then let out a breath and said, “Very well detective, I will answer what I can.”
____________________________________________________________
She sat in a small dining chair. We were sitting in a dining room that Tabletop provided for the occasion. Flash left us with a pair of guards at the front door. Twilight and I smiled gently as we took our seats in front of her. I asked, “What is your name?”
Her blue eyes gazed at the table cloth. “My name is Squeaky, Squeaky Clean, I’m from Baltimare.”
“How does a mare like you come to work for Blueblood?” Twilight asked.
“I...” She looked down again and said, “I moved here to Canterlot in the hopes of going to university. I was hoping to someday get a job to become a Perfumer. But, I had to get a job to pay the bills and the Bluebloods were hiring after the last maid was fired for accidentally spilling tea on Prince Blueblood’s coat.”
“Somehow I’m not surprised,” Twilight groaned.
“Am I in trouble?” she asked. “I didn’t kill Bastion! He was a dear friend to me! He was very kind and doesn't deserve to b-”
I held up a hoof. “Nopony is accusing anypony of anything,” I assured her. “We just want to know a few things. First of all, you mentioned that you and Bastion were friends?”
She nodded, meeting my gaze, “Yes, he helped me get settled in. He kind of reminded me of my grandfather back home. He taught me all sorts of things and made sure I was going to fit in well.”
“A very nice guy,” Twilight concluded, and then asked, “So, can you tell us about when he died?”
Squeaky got pretty quiet, before finally saying, in a voice that reminded me of Fluttershy, “I, bumped into you two when I arrived, after that I took some directions from a guard and came to the room. When I arrived, Bastion and Lord and Lady Blueblood were heading inside. They were yelling at each other a lot, I came by hoping to at least see what was wrong. Than Bastion was about to unlock the door so I ran inside.”
“This was around twelve thirty?” I asked.
“Yes,” she nodded. “I remember checking my watch when I was running there. Once I was inside, Lord Blueblood ordered Bastion to lock the door. Then he started arguing with Lady Blueblood just quiet enough so that me and Bastion couldn’t hear.” She started shaking up,. “And, then... ju-just when... their arguing... got worse Ba... Bastion ju…just...”
Twilight walked around the table and put a hoof on her shoulder. “It’s alright Squeaky, we’re going to find out who did this, but you have to tell us what happened.”
Squeaky gave a shaky nod and spoke to Twilight, “O-one minute Bastion was fine, a-and then around twelve thirty he started acting sickly, like her couldn’t breathe. Than he... he just fe-fell over on the... floor...” She started crying into her hooves. Twilight rubbed her back gently, consoling the young mare while I wrote everything down on a notepad provided by a guard.
“It’s just, so horrible,” Squeaky cried. “Who would do such a thing?”
I would ask her if she saw him drink anything, but she only arrived when we were leaving. There was no way she’d see Bastion drink or take anything odd during the gala. I’d have to ask a somepony else later.
I went on, “Did Bastion have any enemies? Why would somepony want to kill him?”
“I, I...” Squeaky’s hoof... went to her belly....
“Squeaky, is there something that Bastion knew?” I asked.
“I, I shouldn’t say, I could lose my job,” she said, looking at me. “I don’t want to get into any trouble.”
I then decided enough was enough; I looked at her firmly and said, “If you know something, then now is the right time to tell us. If you don’t, then the killer is just going to get loose and who knows how many other ponies could get hurt. I trust you don’t want that on your conscience.”
Squeaky finally looked at me, then at Twilight, then back at me and said, “About, two months after I started working, Lord and Lady Blueblood started arguing. Mostly about Prince Blueblood. They kept arguing about whether he should even still be welcome after the incident at the last gala and his arrest. About a week later, Lord Blueblood ...approached me...” She looked down in absolute shame.
“What did he ask you to do?” I had my suspicions, but I needed to hear it from her own two lips.
“He...” She kept her head down. “He asked me, to... have his child.”
SAAAY WHAAT?!?!
Twilight and I dropped our jaws. “He asked you to do that?!” Twilight cried in absolute shock.
Squeaky looked down, shame and embarrassment covering her features. She said quietly, “I tried to discourage him, told him that I wasn’t a good mare to mother a child. I tried and nearly begged, but he threatened to fire me and make sure no business would hire me if I talked. I’m nopony, just a mare from Baltimare who wanted to start a life of her own. Now, I’ll be homeless within a week...” She cried fully now.
This, was just plain sick. How could Lord Blueblood ever consider this. I finally asked, “Why would he need you to mother a child?”
“Lady Blueblood,” she sniffed, “Is past the age of child birth, she’s become barren.”
“Funny,” Twilight tilted her head. “She didn’t look much older than my mom, I’m guessing she just hides it well.”
So Lady Blueblood was barren, that’s why Lord Blueblood approached Squeaky? Maybe he hoped the child would look so much like him nopony would know the difference? Either way, I then asked, “Bastion found it out?”
Squeaky nodded, “Yes, he found out about the arrangement when he saw a pregnancy test in my bathroom trashcan. When I told him about it, he said he’d try and get help. I tried to dissuade him; I didn’t want him to lose his job too.”
“Squeaky,” I started, “How old are you?”
She let out a sob and whispered, “Nineteen.”
There are so many ways I could get Lord Blueblood for this situation. With her testimony she could put Blueblood in prison for years. But, I tried to imagine her situation. Suddenly it wasn’t so easy to just discard her like I would any other suspect. I just said gently, “We’ll find out who killed Bastion. You gave us a motive, which will help narrow down the list.”
“Please don’t tell anypony,” she begged. “I need this job.”
Twilight and I looked at each other. Twilight then looked to Squeaky and said, “We’ll handle it, but we promise that until everything is settled, nopony will know about the affair except for us.”
Squeaky’s blue eyes welled with tears and she sobbed, “You are most kind your highness. I’m happy there are kind ponies among the royal family.”
“How typical,” drawled that ever-hated voice. “Not happy with falsely accusing me, now you have to drag my whole family’s name through the mud.” I looked over and saw Prince Blueblood standing there, in the doorway, glaring at me. “Never mind brainwashing Princess Twilight to your anti-noble schemes, and persuading this trusted servant to lie for you. You truly have no bounds to your hatred of the Noble Class, do you?”
“Prince Blueblood,” one guard spoke up. “This has been ordered a restricted ar-”
“To Tartarus with your restrictions!” Blueblood bellowed at the guard. “It’s time everypony knew the gall of this hybrid!” He took off. This, is not good!
I looked to the guards, “Look after Squeaky, we’ll take care of him.”
Twilight and I took off down the hall, following Blueblood’s trail. She looked over at me, and panted, “You don’t think he’s stupid enough to try anything, do you?”
I gave her a look.
“Right, dumb question.”
____________________________________________________________
Twilight and I ran into the ballroom. Blueblood strode out into the middle of the room, its hardwood floor shining under the lights. He puffed out his chest, and started to spout: “Ladies and Gentlecolts, the so-called detective is a fraud! He has duped Princess Celestia, brainwashed Princess Twilight, and has persuaded a trusted and loyal servant of my House to commit a most heinous act of slander!”
All of the nobles stopped what they were doing and looked on the prince. Twilight and I started moving towards them as a crowd formed.
“That worthless hybrid commoner convinced the poor helpless maid to say that my very father was having an affair with her! Of course, he fully intends to have my father arrested for this murder, with that evidence alone, in his continuing crusade against the Noble Class! You saw how he had ME arrested on trumped-up charges, never MIND having Pave Diamond, a much respected member of the Nobility, dragged away by common police like a COMMON criminal!”
Twilight managed to get to the center of the crowd first, the nobles bowed as she stood there. “That’s enough Blueblood; I won’t let you slander my husband any longer!”
“He is a nobody, Princess Twilight, can’t you see that? He is just a common thug, who has conned you into marrying him, so he could continue his crusade to obliterate the Noble Class. His association with the well-known noble-hater, Sour Grapes is proof of that!”
“You seem to forget he’s the very reason you’re not all bowing down to King Lunard right now!” Twilight shouted back.
I finally made my way up to her, “Twi, I can defend myself.”
She looked to me as I passed her by and walked up to Blueblood. “Let’s get one thing straight Blueblood, you had no right to shout to the world Squeaky’s secret, I was about to validate it before you interrupted. Whatever delusions you have of me trying to take down the noble class, it shouldn’t interrupt an investigation into the death of a pony. Now, if you don’t mind, I will kindly ask you to stop harassing my wife and me.”
“I will NOT stop until you are in chains, you foul half-chicken commoner! It’s NO secret I shouted to the good ponies, here, but the lie you planted into Miss Clean’s head! Everypony knows you’ve had Noble and upper class ponies arrested on spurious charges! Everypony knows that you used your one moment of actually doing something useful to con the Princess Twilight into marrying you!”
“If you do not cease this I will ask the guards to detain you!” Twilight cried.
“Please, Your highness, you’re allowing his lies to blind you. You could have had someone more fitting to your station, as a Princess of the Realm, and not somepony of common birth who wishes us, yes US, harm! You are a Noble. You deserve a Noble husband, not some common gutter-trash detective right out of some cheap common-written novel!”
Twilight’s violet eyes narrowed...,as Blueblood had the absolute gall to shove me aside and take my wife’s hoof! I fell to the floor and glared up at him.
“You, Princess Twilight, deserve somepony who won’t make a scene at a party such as this, somepony who you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with in public, because of a shabby overcoat, and equally shabby hat. You deserve a true Noble pony. I would be so bold to suggest myself as a possible...”
SMACK!!!
Twilight’s hoof connected with Blueblood’s face so hard it was audible. She glared at Blueblood, and helped me back to my hooves. She yelled at Blueblood, “I’d rather marry a troll you worthless waste of space!” She yelled again, so much that several ponies backed away, “If I ever hear you so much as utter a word against my love again I’ll see about banishing you to someplace nopony can hear! The MOON!!”
Blueblood got to his hooves and glared at me, a hoof shaped red mark on his face. “You! You brainwashed her to such a level she would consider banishment! This is an outrage! I will have you in chains ye-”
Clap...Clap...Clap...Clap...
“Bravo Blueblood, a most extraordinary performance of absolute insolence....”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Chapter 4
“Spera”
Clap...Clap...Clap...Clap...
“Bravo Blueblood, a most extraordinary performance of absolute insolence.”
Everypony in the room stopped speaking as we all saw him. He was my height, strong looking but not overly muscular and his mane was short and black. His eyes were a forest green and showed intelligence despite him being the same age as me. His coat was... the same shade of grey as mine. In fact, you could mistake us for brothers if you set us beside each other.
Everypony began whispering around me as the stallion approached a furious Blueblood. “I must say,” he grinned, his voice showing a slight Manehatten accent, “You do know how to be entertaining Blueblood. Have you considered a career in show business?”
Blueblood walked up to the smirking stallion. “And who are you, and why do you dare interrupt my moment of-”
“I asked who you were!” Blueblood demanded.
“Forgive my poor manners,” he answered. “I am Spera, Spera Imperictus.”
Imperictus? As in the family that owns the Imperial Group? A group that owns pretty much a whole quarter of Manehatten’s businesses?
Blueblood simply sniffed, “I do not understand, why do you speak of insolence! I speak the truth!”
Spera kept his smirk, “If you believe what you said to be the truth it’s no wonder your father’s embarrassed with you.”
“I dare, because in all honesty I don’t know how you expect anypony here to take your word seriously,” Spera answered, his green eyes not leaving Blueblood. “Let's look at what's happened in the last couple years. You used a mare as a shield, got told off, lost any respect you had before. And then you pull a stupid stunt to try and kidnap the sister of the mare who wronged you." He laughed a baritone laugh. “I must say, it’s amazing how one can be so entertainingly stupid.”
“There is no evidence that I was involved with any kidnapping, aside from that filthy hybrid noble-hating peasant’s word,” Blueblood said haughtily. “I merely wanted to show how this worthless piece of filth was using one of my family’s trusted servants to slander my family’s name, because he can’t be content with slandering me.”
“You want to know what everypony here is seeing you as?” Spera began, “but is too afraid to say it?”
“And what may that be, good sir?” Blueblood spat.
“A child.”
“And you’re a fine one to speak of my insolence, when you are spouting such yourself. A child? What poppycock,” Blueblood said dismissively.
“A stallion wouldn’t stand here up on stage and whine when something doesn't go his own way. A stallion grabs destiny by the throat and makes it follow his will. But a stallion also knows when to stand down and let words pass through. You on the other hoof, are simply an overpowered waste of space that is throwing a tantrum because he got a stain on his bib.”
The way he spoke, it forced everypony to listen to what he had to say. All eyes, including mine and Twilight’s, were on this guy. He was so intense and charismatic. Just, who was this guy?
“You dare!” Blueblood bellowed. “You dare to speak such insolent words! A noble such as yourself should be at my side! Defending the noble class from this insolent peasant!”
Spera then shrugged. “I see no reason to defend a child having a temper tantrum.”
“I will not stand here and be insulted!” Blueblood fired back.
“Then go stand outside where you can’t bother anypony!” Spera growled, glaring at Blueblood. “Stars above, I can speak for the whole crowd in saying we are quite tired of you. Nopony cares Blueblood.”
With that, Spera simply walked away from the conversation. His piece was said, and he felt he needed to say no more. At least that’s what I got out of this.
“Fine! Run!” Blueblood cried. “Hide like the coward you are! Any who stand with this peasant are fools and liars and....”
Who was this guy? That he could turn an entire crowd to ignore Blueblood?
_________________________________________________________
After everything was settled and the crowd fully dispersed, Twilight and I found Spera at the punch bowl. Twilight was the first to speak once we found him. “Sir, I think it’s our duty to thank you for that. You have no idea how much Blueblood has been harassing me and my husband.”
Spera looked at us both and smiled, “So, you are the famous Private Eye and Twilight Sparkle, I’m honored to meet you both at last.”
“The honor is all ours Spera,” I said with a smile. “You probably prevented a fight between me and Blueballs.” Grapes’ nickname for the guy kind of slipped out.
Spera broke into a laugh, “It would be far fitting if he had any. But given his recent whinings, I seriously wonder if he is a child, or simply a gelding pretending to be a stallion.”
“Either way,” Twilight said, “We really do appreciate it.”
“Think nothing of it your highness,” Spera said with a small smile. “I, unlike my more contemporary nobles, believe that the match was a good one.”
“You are seriously a breath of fresh air,” I said, laughing a little.
Spera then spoke a little seriously, “I have heard that you both are investigating the murder of that butler.”
Twilight and I looked at each other. “From Blueblood’s rant?” I asked.
He nodded, “I seriously doubt that you would force a maid to cough up a false story to please a desire to slander the nobility. I would’ve interrupted the rant sooner, but I thought I’d go ahead and aid you. I suggested to the guards that her pregnancy should be validated.”
“What did you find?” Twilight asked.
He reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a pregnancy test in a little bag. “She was distraught but she managed to get the result out in time for me to arrive here.”
I held the pregnancy test to my eye as the result came up, a little pink plus sign was there. I sighed, “You can argue with a negative, but a positive is a positive.”
“Poor Squeaky,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “She really is carrying Lord Blueblood’s foal.”
Spera closed his eyes for a minute, then said, “I hope you will not let her do anything drastic to the child. It’s not the fault of the child for how it was born.”
“You sound like you speak from experience,” I said sympathetically.
He smiled, “It is a long story, but I do hold a soft heart for children. I do not wish any child harmed.”
“You are a noble spirit,” Twilight said with a smile. “Like Private.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I chuckled and Spera laughed a little. “Count yourself lucky Private Eye, many would kill for a mare such as her.”
“I think I found that one out the hard way,” I laughed in turn.
“Your highnesses!”
All three of us turned to see Flash run up to us. He saluted and said, “We got a pathologist to examine the body, I’m to take you there at once.”
“Who’d you get?” I asked.
_________________________________________________________
“Do you have any idea how late it is?!” Forceps yelled in my face. The old black coated stallion pointed a hoof at me. “Right when I was about to spend a wonderful night with Appely, you had to go and find another stiff!”
The basement had been converted into a makeshift lab. Bastion’s body laid on a table, cleaned by some guards so it was sanitary. Lab equipment was set aside on a nearby desk and other chairs. Twilight was standing beside me, a little freaked out. “First of all, I’m a little weirded out you know Granny Smith’s first name. Second, could you focus on the st-I mean, body please?”
“Alright, alright,” Forceps sighed, holding up his hooves. “Forgive an old timer like me for being grouchy.”
“So, what can you tell us about the body?” I asked, stepping over to Bastion.
“Poor feller got himself poisoned real bad. Almost pure cyanide,” Forceps explained. “Got into his bloodstream and basically stopped him from breathing, turning him into the grand glorious stiff before you.”
“How’d the cyanide get in? I didn’t detect any traces in his saliva so he couldn’t have drank anything.”
“Here’s how it got in.” Forceps’ magic wrapped around a bag. I looked up and saw a needle inside, a small dart. “Poison dart, so small I missed it the first time. Got the poison inside and did the job.”
“Where was it?” I asked.
“Got him in the flank.” Forceps said. “Right where his cutie mark was.”
“So the killer must’ve attacked him from behind.” Twilight concluded.
“It would have to have been levitated,” I pointed out, “Otherwise somepony would’ve noticed him getting stabbed.”
Forceps went back to work on the needle. ”I’m looking to see if we can extract DNA, but it’s awfully small so it could take a while.”
I nodded. “Right, let’s go back to the crime scene and see if we missed anything.”
_____________________________________________________________
We arrived back at the crime scene, a pair of guards were standing in the open doorway. Along with another pony, Tabletop. The host looked over at us. “Your highness,” he bowed, ignoring me and directly addressing Twilight. “How goes the investigation?”
“We’re doing the best we can to find the killer,” said Twilight.
“I do hope so,” Tabletop sighed. “Dear Fantasia is terribly distraught and I only wish for this thing to pass.”
“She called you brother earlier,” I pointed out. “You guys are family?”
Tabletop nodded, “Yes, she is my younger sister. I had hoped that by inviting her here she could find some peace.”
“Her marriage isn’t exactly golden is it?” Twilight asked.
Tabletop then shook his head. “No, she married Lord Blueblood at a young age. It was an arranged marriage between our families. After our parents died from sickness we had little choice but to accept the offer, lest we lose our home and wealth.”
It wasn’t exactly the most moral thing I’ve ever heard. But, he just wanted to give a better life for his sister. Sadly, the plan sort of backfired.
“Everything was going swimmingly,” Tabletop explained. “At least until about two years ago, after Blueblood’s scene at the gala.”
“The flying cake incident?” Twilight replied flatly.
“Yes indeed,” Tabletop said with a slight nod. “After that she and her husband constantly got into fights. I remember her calling me one night and saying that a vase was broken in one argument.”
“The fights were about Prince?” I concluded.
“Yes, Lord Blueblood was terribly embarassed over his son’s behavior.” Tabletop answered “Before, nopony bothered standing up to Blueblood because he was a noble. On top of that, the Bluebloods are direct descendents from the original unicorn king Izanagi. That alone made Prince a ‘nephew’ to the princess.”
“But everything changed when Rarity stood up to him,” Twilight said, a slight smirk on her face.
“After that everypony realized that they could stand up to Prince,” Tabletop said with a shake of his head. “Nopony was willing to take him seriously anymore. That got Lord Blueblood angry to the point where he took it out on my sister.” I noticed a slight shake in one of his hooves.
I spoke up, “Thanks for the tip, we’ll take it from here Tabletop.”
The stallion recomposed himself and said, “Anything to get this all behind us.” He then walked away without another word.
As he rounded a corner I noticed he dropped something. I picked up a hoofkerchief on the ground. He dropped it, the same hoofkerchief he was using when he saw the body. I put it in a plastic bag. Twilight gave me a look. “A hunch?”
“I guess,” I said with a nod, before pocketing it.
We both stepped into the room again, the guards outside making sure that nopony entered. Twilight and I looked everywhere inside the study. Under desks, tables and chairs. “Nothing,” Twilight called. “Nothing more than there was last time.”
“Locked door cases can be tricky,” I explained, putting a desk back to where it was. “It either means two things, one, the killer was inside and somehow poisoned Bastion while his back was turned, or two, the killer was outside and somehow used a means to poison Bastion remotely.”
“I don’t see any dart guns set up in here,” Twilight said, “And there aren’t any windows where the killer could’ve shot from. If only we knew the positioning of where everypony was. That way we could get a trajectory.”
“Looks like it’s back to the suspects.”
______________________________________________________
“This is insanity!” Lady Blueblood cried. “Bastion was a good stallion, he’d never harm anypony and I will not hear accusations that I or my husband killed him!”
We got Lady Blueblood in the dining room with great difficulty. The guards had to practically drag her thanks to her struggling and constantly demanding a lawyer. Thankfully it was too late in the night to get a lawyer here quickly. But something tells me she won’t be needing one the way she’s been acting.
Twilight spoke, trying to keep her voice gentle, “Lady Blueblood, nopony is saying who killed who. We just want to know what happened.”
“You want to know what happened?” Lady Blueblood yelled. “That miserable tramp of a maid killed Bastion! It’s the only explanation!”
“You were aware of the affair he was having I see,” I concluded.
She got quiet after that and said, “When I married Pure, I thought I was the luckiest mare in the world. A rich noble who was a direct descendent of unicorn royalty. When I had Prince I was happy that he so resembled his father. But, in the end, I couldn’t keep Prince from making that mistake at the gala.”
“Using my friend as a shield,” Twilight grumbled under her breath.
“Then that tramp stole everything!” Lady Blueblood cried. “Because I could not have a child that wench used the opportunity to sneak into my husband’s bedchambers! She seduced him in the hopes of replacing me!”
Here I thought Prince was delusional. She honestly believes her husband so upright and morale after this?
Twilight went on, “Bastion knew about the affair too.”
Lady Blueblood looked genuinely shocked. “He, knew?”
“You didn’t know?” I asked. “He’s your butler.”
Lady Blueblood shook her head “More of Pure’s butler, but I always thought he respected our privacy. I had no idea he knew my husband was being seduced by that tramp!”
Judging by her tone, she wasn’t lying. She couldn’t be the killer because she had no idea that Bastion knew about the affair.
I held up a piece of paper, drew a diagram of the room with the door on the bottom left side with a pen. I then slid it over to Lady Blueblood, the door facing me. “When Bastion died, where were you and everypony else standing?”
Lady Blueblood gave it a thought, and then said, “I was standing here I believe.” She took the pen in her magic, and drew a little x on the top right side of the room. “My husband was right in front of me,” She drew another x just to the left of hers, right in front of the door. “That tramp was about here,” She drew a final x in the bottom right corner. “Bastion was right in front of the door.” She drew an x in that very spot.
“Thank you,” I said, taking the diagram back.
“I hope you will use it to prove that skank the killer,” Lady Blueblood growled, raising her nose.
“Squeaky didn’t exactly want to be your husband’s plaything!” Twilight yelled.
“Pure is an upright and moral stallion! A noble through and through and I will not hear these ludicrous accusations of him!”
“Just because your husband is a noble does not make him a perfect pony!” Twilight argued.
“As if you never defended your husband when accusations were thrown at him,” Lady Blueblood sneered. “Like my son, I have no idea what you were thinking marrying a hybrid stallion such as he.”
Oh great, this again.
Twilight remained calm and didn’t take the bait. “I will kindly ask you to allow the guards to escort you out.”
“Very well,” Lady Blueblood said. “I grow tired of listening to the prattles of a girl anyways.”
Twilight looked down as the guards took Lady Blueblood away. I put a hoof on her shoulder. “You were smart not to fall into her bait like I did with Blueballs.”
“That doesn’t mean I like it any more,” Twilight grumbled, looking at me. “How can she be so blind to the truth?”
“When you’re in love,” I sighed, “A lot of flaws go under the surface.”
Twilight put a kiss on my cheek. “But true love is loving despite one’s flaws. Not ignoring them, but learning to work past them and do what is right. Nopony is perfect, love is something you have to make work.”
“I see somepony’s starting to sound like me,” I chuckled.
Twilight smirked, “Somepony has to keep track of your self help book sayings.”
Twilight and I smiled at one another, and were about to kiss aga-
“Please! You must let me in!”
We both looked up and saw the guards holding back Fancypants. Twilight spoke up, “It’s alright, he’s a friend!”
The guards let the gentlestallion go and he gasped, “I have information that may be useful to you both!”
“What kind of information?” I asked.
“The kind where I know how the killer offed poor Bastion!”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Chapter 5 "Locked Doors Made Open"
Chapter 5
“Locked Doors Made Open”
“What do you mean you know how the killer offed Bastion?” I asked, in shock. “Who did it?”
Fancypants shook his head. “I did not get a good look at him, it all happened so fast. I was finishing up using the um, loo, when I happened to walk by the very hallway where the murder was occurring. I rounded the corner and saw for the briefest of moments, a stallion throwing something out the window.”
“Did you catch a glimpse of him?” I asked, “Anything to describe him at all?”
“I do remember seeing a horn, he was definitely a unicorn.” Fancy affirmed.
“So is everypony at the party,” Twilight pointed out.
“I’m sorry, I turned around when I saw him, believing I took a wrong turn. But, then I heard the scream and ran to inform the guards of what happened. The stallion was long gone by the time I came back.”
“Where were you all this time?” I asked, looking at the gentle stallion. “This could’ve been helpful.”
“I was busy trying to find you both,” Fancy answered. “Do you both realize how quickly you both move around during a case?”
“Right,” Twilight said sheepishly, “Sorry about that.”
“Anyways,” I began, “Thanks for the information Fancy, we’ll go check it out.”
Fancy nodded, “I believe I should aid you in this endeavor, the gardens can be confusing and who knows what we are looking for.”
“We’d appreciate it,” I smiled.
“Perhaps I should as well?”
I looked up and saw Spera standing there, the guards flanking him. Flash spoke up, “He insisted on seeing you, your highnesses.”
“You think you can help us?” I asked the noble pony.
Spera nodded, “Thirty two hooves looking is far better than simply twelve.”
Twilight smiled, “We really appreciate any aid you can provide.”
“Fancy,” I said, looking at the gentlestallion, “You go to the window and stick your head out so we know where to look.”
Fancy nodded, “Very well Private Eye, I shall make it so.”
With a nod to Fancy, we turned to head out as I said, “Come on, we got a killer to find.” I then lead the way outside.
_________________________________________________________
Lord Tabletop’s garden didn't hold a candle to the Canterlot Gardens, but it was still pretty impressive. It held a nicely trimmed, if small, hedge maze, lots of flowering plants, including some that flowered at night, and some very well-sculpted topiaries in both fantastic and geometric shapes. Neat flagstone paths wound their way through the garden to its various outdoor areas, and flower beds cuddled up to the mansion, dressing its walls in greenery and enrobing it with vines.
The three of us were walking around the perimeter of the mansion, in the hopes of finding the window. Twilight was taking the lead, Spera and I holding back.
Spera was the first one to speak up, “Private Eye, indulge me if you will.”
“Sure, what’s on your mind?” I asked.
“You owe nothing to these ponies,” Spera pointed out. “Aside from the intellectual rush of solving a difficult mystery, you really gain nothing. You were not hired by anypony here. They are neither interested in learning the truth, nor are they particularly interested in the truth, itself. They’d rather cuddle close their precious little illusions. Princess Celestia did charge you with finding the truth, but there is no monetary gain to be had, nor any praise or popularity from ponies that prefer pomp and puffery. So... What is the point? These ponies, here would find their convenient scapegoat, have them tossed in jail, and go on with their empty little lives. What is in it for you?”
I looked at the stallion, trying to read him.Than I thought a little myself, and simply said, “To be honest, there is nothing in it for me.”
Spera’s green eyes looked as if he was trying to read me as well.
“A long time ago, I only did solve these kinds of cases for the thrill of it all. To prove I was one of the greatest detectives ever. But, over time I came to realize there is a lot more going on than simply a whodunit. The suspects involved have lives and ponies they care about. Bastion probably has a family as well, desperate for answers that are within my power to give. I solve these cases not for me Spera, but so that somepony knows how it really happened.”
Spera slowly smiled. “I was right about you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
Spera looked at me and said, “You’re right, you don’t gain anything and that’s what makes you a far better pony than they will ever be. I was wondering whether you solved theses cases just to prove you were smarter, but I can see now your heart is in the right place. It’s... refreshing.”
I saw a moment of sorrow pass over Spera’s eyes. Did he have bad experiences with the police? That would make him distrust detectives? I can imagine he would be curious as to why I do all this. Strangely... I feel I can understand him...
Just, who is he?
“Hey guys,” Twilight called, “I see Fancypants up there!” She pointed and Spera and I looked up to see Fancypants waving from a second story window. That must be where the hallway is.
I took the lead and we came to the area right under the window, mostly there were only bushes and shrubs there. Twilight looked at me. “What exactly are we looking for?”
“Could be anything,” I explained. “Whatever was dropped had to have landed here.”
“Might I suggest looking for anything that isn’t a garden implement, or a shrubbery?” Spera asked.
I got a little laugh out of that, before we all began sifting through the various shrubs. Twilight looked over at me when Spera was out of earshot. “He seems alright. You two certainly seem to get along.”
“It’s weird,” I said, levitating a log out of the way and finding nothing. “He and I just seem to, click I guess? It’s hard to explain but I feel like he’s on our side.”
Twilight smiled, “So, seems you two are beginning a bit of a bromance.”
I rolled my eyes and nuzzled her, “Let’s focus on the mission and not the subject of your next work of fiction.”
“Okay, first of all I was fifteen!” Twilight exclaimed.
I laughed, and then we spread out some more, trying to cover a wider area. I looked over at Spera, his magic was a forest green to match his eyes. He seemed very thorough as well, I was compelled to ask, “You have experience looking for stuff aside from lost house keys?”
Spera’s magic flattened a shrub as he said, “I do have experience, my father used to take me hiking when I was a child. Found all sorts of things there, he always said to look to the earth, for its secrets are a beautiful thing.”
“Somehow I think our dads would’ve gotten along,” I chuckled. “Only dad wouldn’t know his way around a campsite but, he is wise like your dad seems to be.”
“Was,” Spera said, looking over at me. “My, father died when I was five.”
“I’m sorry,” I said sympathetically. “I lost my mother when I was fourteen.”
“So you can imagine how I feel,” Spera said, looking over at me. “It’s, nice to be able to talk to a pony about it.”
“Who was your father?” I asked.
“His name was Double Blaze,” Spera said, and then went back to work.
That, certainly doesn't sound like any noble name I’ve ever heard of. I went back to looking and nearly tripped over something. I bent down as I got a look at the object. It was a gun of some sort, only, it more of resembled a small crossbow. It was so small it could fit into my hoof.
Spera and Twilight looked at it, and Twilight said, “I’m starting to figure out how the needle got into Bastion’s flank.”
“It’s a needle gun,” Spera explained, “Mostly used by zoo keepers, to administer a dose of tranquilizer should an animal need to be moved, or sedated for medical treatment... Though the models used in the zoos are usually... well... larger.”
I held the needle gun and ran a scan on it. I didn’t pick up anything at all from the material. “It’s made from magicite. A material that can’t be picked up by magical scanning spells. This isn’t a gun just made for taking out a baby elephant. This was the weapon of our killer.”
“But, whose could it be?” Twilight asked.
I had a theory, I reached into my pockets... and activated my DNA scan spell...
___________________________________________________________
Perspective: Prince Blueblood
So this is what I’ve been reduced to. Grazing the snack table among uncaring servants, while other nobles wine and dine one another. Botheration, because of those peasant-loving twits, I’m being snubbed. Snubbed. The gall of somepony who calls himself a noble to stand with that hybrid! Oh well. At least the snacks are quite tasty and properly refined. Okay, I will admit the fritter was... Well tasty in a quaint sort of way, but I must have standards... Though, would it be considered fashionable slumming to enjoy such? Not from a stand at the Gala, surely, though it may have been considered ‘donating to charity’
... What am I doing with myself? It used to be that ponies threw themselves at me in order to please my desires. Nowadays I’m the running gag of the nobility. Hearing their sniggers behind my back as everypony recalled that blasted cake. Though... Admittedly, she was quite gorgeous, and decorated my arm in a most pleasing manner. Never mind, she is an up-and-coming fashion designer. Had I known that... Ah, as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty.
“Pure! Stop, please!”
My wonderfully groomed ears perked up at the sound of my mother’s voice. I looked over to see her and father trying to make for the door. Miss Clean was right behind them, I noticed guards were chasing after them.
Father turned to face my mother. “These accusations are unfounded Fantasia! I’m tired of hearing this!”
“You didn’t do it did you?!” Mother sobbed. “That tramp seduced you! She’s lying about the baby!”
A group of guards, led by that incompetent guard from earlier, got in front of my parents. I soon caught sight of Celestia walking towards them, her expression similar to the one she had when she scolded me. “What is going on here?” she asked.
“Your highness,” Father said, looking to her. “My wife and I are tired, we wish to return home.”
“Have you failed to understand that an investigation is underway?” Celestia asked, her voice showcasing a bit of an edge.
“The investigation is over! Bastion’s death was unfortunate but I will not hear these insane allegations about an affair!”
He... I wonder... Could... But...
“Do not think me a fool, Pure,” Celestia said. “my guards received Squeaky’s pregnancy test, and through my magic, we determined... that the child is indeed yours.”
He... he wouldn’t... No... Father...
Mother’s face looked absolutely in shock. She then rounded upon Miss Clean, her face transformed into a mask of... near-insane rage! Mummy’s face is... really quite frightening like that. “YOU FILTHY DEGENERATE WHORE! I WILL HAVE YOU FLAYED ALIVE FOR THIS OUTRAGE!” I... I think I need to find a broom and dustpan, after this...
Celestia stood protectively in front of Miss Clean. “Fantasia, that is quite enough. Squeaky tells us that your husband willingly forced her into the affair. In the hopes that he would conceive a child.”
“THAT IS A LIE! THAT FILTHY WHORE IS A WORTHLESS LYING SEDUCING BITCH!” Flecks of foam were flying from Mummy’s mouth now...
Celestia turned to that orange pegasus guard, “Flash Sentry, detain her at once.”
“Yes your highness,” The guard then gestured to two of his men, they took Mummy gently by the shoulders and began guiding her away.
This... this cannot... this cannot be...
“FATHER!!” I pushed my way through the crowd, shoving aside a servant in my haste. But I didn’t care! I demand to know the answers! I demand to know why!
I made my way to where father was standing and said, “Father, tell me it isn’t true...”
Father gave me just a cold glare. “So. You seek to embarrass me once again, Prince?”
“Father, just tell me if it’s true!” I cried. “I want to hear the words from your own lips! Why did you try to have a child with Miss Clean?”
Father was quiet for a long time, then his eyes closed, and opened them again as he growled, “It was to replace you.”
“Re... replace...?” I sputtered. No... no he didn’t... he couldn’t have wanted....
“You have become nothing but a burden and an embarrassment to the Blueblood name. Your infantile antics, your bombastic attitude, and your lack of self discipline has done nothing but drag our proud name through the mud. You getting jailed for your rather petty act of vengeance was the last straw. I needed an heir that would be a benefit to the name, not a laughing stock. I need an heir that is not an infant in a stallion’s body,” Father said coldly. “Once the child was born, you were going to be sent on a little... trip... to the Dragon Lands. Preferably drugged, tied, and with an extra-strength inhibitor on your horn.”
Father... wants... to replace me... above that he wants me to die... I did this... I was such an embarrassment that he would do such a thing....
Replace me, leave me to die in some foreign land... he would just do it like that.... as if it had no consequence... as if he wasn’t losing his son...
How...did I ever call him Daddy...?
“Father!” I choked out, “I, I’m sorry. Forgive me, Father, I had no idea I was hurting you so! Just don’t leave me! Don’t let me wallow alone!”
“It’s far more than you deserve...” Father said, his cold glare evident.
“I will change father!” I begged. “I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll never complain again!”
“I grow sick of your whining!” For... the second time today... I was slapped on the face...
But not by a mare who I barely knew after I berated her husband... this... was my own father... Daddy... Daddy... Daddy hit me....
M-my daddy... doesn’t love me... nopony does.... nopony ever did...
They just... tolerated my existence... that mare showed I could be... stood up against and that took the chance when they could....
I’m... alone...
I didn’t realize... until now... that I am very, very much alone...
Maybe... maybe I should change that... and I shall start with Private Eye, and Princess Sparkle. No...her royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle, and Royal Consort Private Phelps Eye...
I stood there, caught in the shock of all that happened. When Celestia was the first to speak:
“Guards, seize him...”
A pair of guards came forward and took my father in their forelegs. They held him back as he wailed against them. I barely listened to what he had to say. What he has to say doesn’t matter, anymore.
“Uhm... Excuse me, Your Highness, but... May I ask why you are arresting Lord Blueblood?” I was curious, but... I can’t find it in myself to actually call... him... my father anymore. Not after that.
Celestia gave me a sympathetic glance and said, “He just confessed to conspiracy to commit murder, Prince Blueblood. “Plus, he has done a great deal of harm to Squeaky Clean’s life. For that, I am obligated to do this.”
“Ah. I see. Thank you for clearing that up for me. Please make sure Mummy’s well cared for... I fear this may have... been detrimental on her mental health. And fear not, I shall make sure Miss Clean, and her foal, are cared for. No more good ponies need be harmed by his actions.” Princess Celestia blinked in surprise. Well it is the least I can do. I have an example of what not to be. Now to take the steps needed to do better, and to distance myself from what I had been before. I smiled a bit at our beloved Sun Princess. She smiled back, and nodded.
“So you went and done it!” I looked over and saw Uncle Tabletop move his way through the crowd, completely ruining the moment. He glared at father, “How dare you do this to my sister and my nephew!”
“If your sister wasn’t such a weak little milksop then maybe I wouldn’t need to replace them!” Father shouted.
“I see you finally get what you deserve!” Tabletop fired back. “You cheated on my sister, tried to eliminate my nephew, Prince, and killed Bastion to cover it all up! You deserve nothing less than death for what you did!”
“I never killed Bastion!” Father shouted back. “He was killed by another! I may have tried to replace my pathetic spawn, but I never killed Bastion!”
“After all you said,” Tabletop glared at him. “Do you honestly expect us to believe you now?”
“Maybe you should.”
Everypony hushed as... Royal Consort Private Eye walked in, Princess Sparkle was at his side, along with that Spera fellow. He walked up to the center of the room. Tabletop smiled at him. “Detective, I see you’re here to witness the firm hoof of justice,” he said.
“I am, though not in the way you think,” Private said, looking to my father. “It is true, Lord Blueblood is responsible for the affair, and the plan to murder Prince Blueblood. But, he... is not the killer.”
What? Father isn’t the killer?!
“But, the evidence speaks for itself,” Tabletop sputtered. “He has all the motive in the world!”
“Maybe,” Private replied, “But, I know somepony who has just as much motive, but failed to kill his intended target.”
“What are you saying?” Tabletop asked, his eyes wide.
“That…” Private looked to Tabletop, “In your attempt to kill Lord Blueblood, you took Bastion’s life instead.”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Chapter 6 "Drop of Blueblood"
Chapter 6
“Drop of Blueblood”
Perspective: Private Eye
Tabletop’s mouth was ajar as everypony talked loudly amongst themselves. All around us ponies were talking about this sudden development. Lord Blueblood glared over at Tabletop. “Explain yourself! You had my butler killed trying to take my life?!”
Tabletop regained his composure. “As if I would ever kill your butler, you probably killed him to hide your little scheme!”
“That would be impossible, Tabletop,” I said, trying to make my voice heard over the crowd.
Suddenly, Celestia’s horn glowed and a pillar of light shot in the air. That shut everypony in the room up. Celestia then calmly spoke to me, “Private Eye, why would it have been impossible for Pure Blueblood to have killed Bastion?”
“Simple your highness.” I said, looking at the white alicorn, “Because Lord Blueblood was in the room with him.”
“How does that make any difference?” Tabletop interjected.
“It makes a hell of a lot of difference,” I continued, “Because Bastion was killed by a needle laced with cyanide, killing him nearly instantly. A poison in a drink or something would’ve killed him within minutes, but not immediately. Like I said before, the target was never Bastion, but Lord Blueblood here.”
“But what would I gain b-” Tabletop tried to start.
“Vengeance,” I said, looking at him. “Your motive was nothing more than cold vengeance. You heard about the affair that your brother-in-law was having. You wanted nothing more than to see the stallion dead for what he did. Today was simply the tipping point.”
Everypony hung on my every word, I caught a glance at Spera, he was doing the same. But he was mulling them over, as if trying to find the pieces himself or, maybe he already put the pieces together and wondered if I came to the same conclusion.
I went on with my explanation; “After the little rant here, thanks to Prince, the Bluebloods went over to a room for some privacy. Bastion and Squeaky were with them. After Bastion locked the door Tabletop came around, seeing an opportunity. He procured this,” I pulled the needle gun out of my suit jacket, eliciting a gasp from all the ponies that hadn’t seen it. Except for Tabletop, who was sweating at this point...
“You had your motive and opportunity, you inserted the gun into the keyhole, and took aim at your brother in law. Your vengeance was complete, you figured you killed him in the shot. Then you left with the needle gun and tossed it out the window, which is exactly where we found this. In the garden, below the window by the room Lord Blueblood had taken his family.”
“This, this is simply preposterous!” Tabletop shouted. “You seriously expect anypony to believe such nonsense?!”
I went on, ignoring his protests, “Only problem was you hit the wrong target. You hit Bastion, who, according to this diagram,” I held out the picture that Lady Blueblood drew, “was standing right in the path of the doorway when he fell over.” I pointed to the X representing him.
Squeaky, who was standing with some guards, spoke up, “You... you killed Bastion... Mr. Tabletop...”
“I... I...” Tabletop was at a loss for words. “It’s ludicrous! He has conjecture! Not pro-”
Suddenly... he glowed green...
He looked to me, my horn was glowing a pale grey, first the needle gun glowed, and then his hoofkerchief he dropped. I explained, “Ponies can lie, Tabletop, but the evidence doesn't lie. This is your DNA on the needle gun, there’s no way you’d get past that in court.”
Tabletop started laughing maniacally, his eyes showing a level of derangement on par with his sister. “Yes! Yes, you dirty rotten detective, I did it! I killed the stupid bastard because he got in the way! I was sickened when I heard about what Lord Blueblood did to my sister! It wasn’t enough he took our family’s money but he had to toss aside my sister like trash! I planned everything! The room! The gun! I even checked in the damn keyhole to see if my shot would line up! But, because of one stupid butler I’m denied my revenge! I want nothing less than every single drop of Pure’s blood to be spilled!”
Suddenly his horn glowed and before anypony could do anything, Squeaky was teleported into his hooves. He pulled out a gun and used his magic to point it at Squeaky’s head. The maid was shaking but didn’t move or speak.
“Let her go!” Celestia yelled.
“If I see anypony’s horn glow I’ll shoot her without hesitation!” Tabletop shouted. “I’ll kill this girl and the bastard child inside her!”
“YOU DARE!” Suddenly Spera launched himself at Tabletop. Tabletop’s horn glowed and he fired a bolt of magic...
Spera took the hit and flew several feet back... just... like me when I get hit by magic...
Spera... could he be...
“Release her at once!” Celestia cried. “If you do so now I will allow you a fair trial!”
“Bah!” Tabletop scoffed, tightening his grip on Squeaky. “I don’t want you pathetic justice! I want Lord Blueblood’s head!”
“Killing Squeaky won’t change anything!” Twilight cried. “Just put down the gun and step away from her.”
“Oh, like I’m supposed to listen to a pretend princess and her chicken of a husband?! You all don’t see when justice needs to be done! You were too soft to kill Lord Blueblood when you found about his damn affair! You stinking commoners are all th-”
CRASH!!!
Suddenly Tabletop's eyes rolled up into his head, and he stopped spouting his nonsense, as a vase smashed on his head. He fell over in a heap, unconscious. Squeaky was quivering right then and there, but saw... that Prince Blueblood had thrown the vase...
Prince Blueblood... saved her...
“Secure him!” Celestia ordered, I saw Flash and his guards going to put hoofcuffs on Tabletop.
Squeaky finally took a step towards Prince and looked up at him with grateful blue eyes. “You, saved my life. I am in your debt, Prince.”
My brain was still trying to comprehend this. Blueblood saved somepony? I think I may need to see a therapist...
Prince Blueblood smiled at the maid, not a smug or arrogant smile, just... a normal smile. “I’m not about to let the mother of my half brother or sister come to harm.” He then looked genuinely guilty. “I’m sorry if I ever mistreated you in the past. I was a victim myself of this plot.”
Squeaky, and everypony in the room, jaws dropped practically to the floor. Even Celestia looked a little shocked, but not as shocked as Twilight and I were.
Blueblood put a hoof on Squeaky’s shoulder. “With my father imprisoned, I’ll be in charge of the fortune. You wanted to get through university, correct?”
“Ye-yes, sir,” Squeaky said, still reeling from the shock.
“Then consider your debts paid, you will not have to worry about expenses. After all, I want my half brother or sister to have a mother who can focus on them. Not on trying to pay off debts.”
Squeaky smiled wide, and embraced Prince Blueblood, “Thank you so much, I promise I will raise your half sibling with the utmost love and care! I won’t let you down.”
This is the same Blueblood that insulted my mother right? Used Rarity as a cake shield?
Anypony?
Aww hell, it’s a happy ending, let’s savor it.
_____________________________________________________________________
Prison carriages came by for Lord Blueblood and Tabletop. The pair spent the vast majority of their trip shouting out obscenities at one another. They also spent it trying to claim I was somehow the killer or some other kind of bullshit.
Flash had their flanks tossed into the carriages before anypony else had to listen to their nonsense. An ambulance came by for Lady Blueblood, who apparently fainted after her rant. Something tells me it’s going to take a while before she gets a grip.
I walked towards Spera who had a pegamedic bandaging his wound from the magic bolt. He looked up at me after the pegamedic went to handle Lady Blueblood. He gave a slight smile, “I shall be fine Private Eye, I’ve been through far worse in my lifetime.”
“That’s my line,” I said, laughing a little. “Anyways, I have to ask you something.”
Spera’s face turned serious.
“You’re not a full blooded unicorn are you?” I asked. “No pure blood would have been thrown back that far.”
Spera, slowly nodded, “You are correct, Double Blaze, my father, was an earth pony.”
“Oh,” I said, “I figured as much.”
“You understand then,” Spera said, putting a hoof on his bandages. “What it’s like to be a hybrid. I hid it for a long time, but I figured a stallion of your caliber would’ve found out anyways.”
“You haven’t told anypony else who you are?” I asked.
“My step sister knows,” Spera explained, “But other than that, I have told nopony about my heritage. Not out of shame, but because it would make it difficult to deal with ponies. I know you have first hoof experience.”
Hiding what you are for that long. I could understand, I was bullied when I was younger for what I was. After I ventured into high school however, only a few of my closest friends knew I was a hybrid. I get where Spera is coming from.
“Spera, just so you know, having an earth pony for a father makes you no less of a pony.” I said, smiling at him “In fact, I know a half earth pony, she’s one of the smartest, strongest, and snarkiest ponies I know. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with your heritage.”
Spera smiled, “You honor me and my father Private Eye.” He then got on his hooves. “I need to return to Manehatten, I have business to attend to.”
“You were a big help on this case,” I pointed out as he started to leave. “If you’re ever in the neighborhood, just give a shout, you could be help again.”
Spera looked back at me with a smile, “Private Eye, you can count on it.”
With that, he left for the carriages. I don’t really know what to make of Spera. He seems, so much like me. I wonder, what did he mean by I could count on it?
I felt a nudge and looked to see Twilight standing next to me. “You two are officially in a bromance.”
“Yeah yeah, but if I see even one fanfic about us...”
“I was fifteen! It was a stage I was going through! The guards were hunky, and I could have sworn I caught them glancing at each other!” Twilight pleaded.
“It was a rather fun read though,”
Twilight and I turned to see Princess Celestia walking towards us. Twilight flushed in embarrassment and looked down at her hooves. Celestia gave a gentle smile and said, “I am proud of both of you, glad to see how well you have grown as a team.”
Twilight recomposed herself and kissed me on the cheek, “Helps when you’re married to the guy.”
I smiled a little goofily as Celestia went on, “You have both done a great service. You both should return home and get some rest after all your hard work. I’m sorry that the party was cut short in such a fashion.”
“Hey, the Grand Galloping Gala could use spicing up once in awhile,” I said with a laugh, one that was harmonized by the two alicorns.
“Your highnesses...?”
Twilight and I saw Prince Blueblood walking towards us, his face was serious, yet very uncertain and he seemed unable to say a word. He then muttered to himself, “Foalsteps, Prince, foalsteps. It’s your old self resenting this...” Blueblood took a deep breath, and then... abased himself before Twilight. “Your Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle, I wish to apologize to you for my boorish behavior in slandering both you, and your Royal Consort. You are, of course, free to follow your heart, instead of Noble Tradition, and I was blinded by old traditional prejudices to see this.”
Twilight and I looked at each other, unable to say anything. Finally I spoke, “Forgive me if I’m not convinced of your sudden turnaround.”
“Oh, I don’t blame you. I’ve got a lot to do to make up for the complete and utter boor I have been. But I shall, though! I will work hard, doing good deeds, and proving to both myself, and all of Equestria that Prince Blueblood is a new stallion. I shall go to needy neighborhoods, endow and build schools for the less fortunate, help renovate homes, and help find ways to ensure those ponies with the least will have a way to gain the most.”
“Okay,” Twilight said, shaking her head, “Who are you, and what have you done with the real Prince Blueblood?”
Celestia walked over to Blueblood and said with a smile, “I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, dear nephew, anypony can change. All it takes is one step in the right direction to make it happen.” She then looked at me and Twilight. “Now, if you all will excuse me, dawn is coming and my sister awaits me.” She then shot into the air and flew towards her castle home.
Blueblood went off towards where his carriage was.
I yawned, finally able to step out of detective mode and into normal Private mode. “Man, I think I’m going to fall asleep on my hooves.”
Twilight smiled and nuzzled my shoulder. “Let’s go home,”
As Twilight and I walked towards our carriage every noble was staring at us. After a minute of walking, Fancy Pants began clapping his hooves. Soon other nobles joined in and Twilight and I were applauded like heroes.
I looked at Twilight. “Well, I think our first public debut was a success, more or less.”
“Could’ve done without Bastion dying,” Twilight said. “But, I think they all are seeing that it doesn't matter what we are, just who we are.”
I held open the door to the carriage and let Twilight get inside. We both sat down and I spoke to the driver, “Take us home, please.”
The driver nodded and we were being pulled towards the train station. I laid back against the soft seats and felt Twilight’s head plop itself on my shoulder. I gave her a light kiss on the head, “Tired out too?”
“Mmm..” she said, her eyes closing. “Pillows don’t talk silly...”
I laughed a little and leaned my head on top of hers. This was the best part to me about cases. Coming home, and spending the night right next to the mare I love. I was happy that everything worked out.
But... I got the strange feeling... that this was all going too well...
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Case 1
Perspective: ???
The visiting room was darkened on one side. I requested it so that my anonymity be kept. There will come a time when I can walk freely among my fellow ponies. But it is not this day, no, the plan is not completed yet. The pieces have not fallen into place. The board is not even set up yet.
But that will all change, once some pawns are set up.
The door opened and on the other side of the glass was Tabletop. He was clad in a prison uniform and his expression told me he was not exactly happy to be here. The guards slammed the door behind him, and Tabletop angrily stomped over to the seat. We were alone, no other visitors were here today.
He took the telephone in his hoof. His horn had a extra strength inhibitor ring in case he tried to run away. Perfect, magic shouldn’t be used by those who don’t deserve it. He’d only been in prison for a couple of days, but it did little to help him.
I took the phone in my own hoof, not wanting to show anything. I held it to my ear and said, “Comfortable Tabletop?”
“Do you not recognize who, or better yet, what I am?” I said, gazing at him as recognition entered his features.
“You, you...” He glared at me. “You were the one who suggested this plan in the first place!”
“You seem to forget Tabletop, it was you who came looking for me,” I reminded him.
“I asked you to help me with a plan to dispose of my brother!” Tabletop blustered. “You gave me the needle gun, set up that gas leak in the castle so that I would be able to host the gala.”
“And that pulled Lord Blueblood out of his manor and right into your lap,” I replied, “yet, you proved to be a sorry shot.”
“How was I to know that damn butler would get in the way!?” Tabletop roared into the phone.
“Look twice, shoot once.” I said, a slight smirk coming to my face that he couldn’t see.
“It was all that damn detective’s fault!” Tabletop retaliated. “Had he not have interfered, your precious plan would have gone without a hitch!”
“Whoever said my plan was to have your brother killed?” I asked.
“You...” Tabletop was absolutely dumbstruck. “There’s no possible way you could’ve predicted that all of this would happen.”
“I didn’t predict the exact events, nopony could have,” I replied. “However, I knew one way or another, Private Eye would’ve found you guilty and in this prison cell.”
“You, you knew he’d be there!” Tabletop realized.
“Of course. Did you think I’m not smart enough to figure that out? It would be he and his wife’s first public appearance following their marriage. Logically, they would have shown up one way or another. Even if they didn’t show to the gala, I knew that Celestia would send for him.”
“What could you possibly gain by finding me in this damnable cell!” Tabletop demanded.
I paused for a moment, and then said, “The reason I went along with your plan, was to get the Bluebloods out of the way. With you, your sister, and brother in law in prison, all of your assets go to your nephew for the time being. As you have no children or extended family apart from your sister, your nephew is in charge of your estate.”
“You, you knew nopony would take him seriously.” Tabletop said, looking at me “You knew his rants during the gala would cause many to lose trust in him. So, you plan to ruin our family? Is that it?”
“Oh, you ponies don’t need my help to cause ruin. You are more than happy to do so yourselves,” I replied, again with a smirk he couldn’t see.
“Then what is your plan!?” Tabletop demanded “Tell me this instant!”
“Let’s just say, Canterlot has been on top for far too long...”
“Those are words of treason!”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
“I will inform the guards! They’ll kill you this instant!”
“The guards, are gone now.”
“What?”
“They had to deal with a prison riot that happened to occur as we are talking, followed by a slight power outage...”
“What, what are you doing!?” Tabletop shouted, as he started to look around in the darkness.
“Simply tying up loose ends.” I said, leaning back in the chair.
“You can’t kill me!” Tabletop shouted, “There’s glass between us!”
“Did you enjoy the bread?” I asked.
“It’s prison food what do you thin-” He stopped speaking as he suddenly put a hoof to his throat. “You...you...”
“A slow acting poison that I convinced a prison guard to lace into your bread while you were busy sulking in your cell. Nopony was the wiser when it was brought to you.” I said, looking at him.
“But, why?” He said, trying his best to breath as the poison took effect. “Why kill me?”
“Let’s just say, you made a grave mistake during the plan. Die now, knowing that you have brought ruin, but that you death will suit a purpose...”
Tabletop suddenly fell to the floor, coughing and wheezing as the poison did it’s work. “Who...who are...*cough* who are...you...?”
“You, are the first of many...the first pawn to be taken by a king...”
For I am the precursor to the new world. I am the unseen hoof that guides the world to a new age. An age where the old is cast aside forever. I am change.
I...am Shadowhoof...
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Chapter 1 "Into the Gala"
Equestria Noir 2
Case 1
“Murder at the Gala”
By Jacoboby1
Chapter 1
“Into the Gala”
This is Equestria World News Tonight with Jean de’ Fancy.
“Good Evening, I’m Jean de’ Fancy here with today’s top Equestrian news. It’s been almost a month since the much publicized attack on Ponyville. The battle was devastating, involving both powerful magic, and our old foe, Queen Chrysalis. While repairs to both the town and this reporter’s home of Canterlot have been completed, the scars still show from that terrible event. The perpetrator of the attack, a mysterious alicorn dubbing himself “King Lunard” has disappeared after the fighting, although royal officials say he is of little threat now. Many in Ponyville are holding memorial services for those who fought in the battle. More details as to how you can aid the families that suffered will be shown after the show.”
“Another story is the much publicized wedding of Private Eye and now Princess Twilight Sparkle. The couple is returning from their honeymoon in the tropics. We go to Kitty Perric for the latest, Kitty.”
“Thank you Jean, the wedding was held here in small town Ponyville not long after the attack. It was a much-anticipated event, involving both the good ponies of Ponyville, and the crem de la crem of the Canterlot elite. The festivities lasted pretty much all the day, and well into the night. The reception offered food, drink, an open mic at one point, dancing, and even a brief concert by the Equestria-acclaimed singer, Moongale. This being much to the delight of one of Moongale’s young fans. Even the famous -or infamous- rock star, Raiden Bolt, put in an appearance. All in all a good time was had by all attendees. And our best wishes go out to the happy couple, as they settle back in their home of Ponyville.”
“Thank you Kitty, there has been some controversy surrounding this wedding, correct?”
“Yes, Jean, reports from our royal council correspondents say that several nobles have been protesting the marriage. They cite that Private Eye had married her too soon after her coronation; and say this did not allow our newly-crowned princess a chance to choose among their number for a more, in their eyes, fitting husband. Some are even so far as to suggest the marriage be considered invalid, and declared null and void, or it should even be annulled. It has also been suggested that Private Eye married the Princess Twilight Sparkle under false pretences, and should be arrested for fraud. Princess Celestia has yet to comment to these statements.”
“Thank you Kitty, hopefully this’ll all get sorted out.”
“In other news today Irenius Eye officially takes over as head of Eye Industries following the disappearance of his millionaire father Adamus Eye. The former CEO is under suspicion for being involved with the attempted sabotage of Twilight Sparkle’s coronation. Irenius Eye refuses to comment on the situation and says he simply wishes that his father come to his senses.”
“The Grand Galloping Gala has changed locations this year following the discovery of a gas leak in the Canterlot Castle Ballroom. The place suffered damage from the attack last month and will not be fixed in time for the much anticipated event. This year’s Gala will be hosted at Tabletop Mansion. The noble himself volunteered his home after hearing the Gala needed a home. The Gala itself will be held there next week.”
“More stories and news coming up after the break.”
____________________________________________________________________
Perspective: Private Eye
I blinked open my grey eyes as the train rolled it’s way towards Ponyville. I yawned loudly, feeling tired from the trip and eager to return home. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the honeymoon and would gladly go on it again, it’s just the trip back had drained me to the point where I slept most of the trip.
I looked over and saw Twilight was sleeping on my shoulder. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was soft as we rode the train. I smiled and licked my wife on the ear. Wife, it feels so great to think that.
Her amethyst eyes slowly opened and she yawned widely. Looking up at me she said, “I had a dream about you.”
“Oh really?” I asked with a smile.
“Yep, you were very,” she murmured, then blushed, probably realizing what kind of dream that was. She smiled lightly, adding, “You were amazing, just like that first night.”
I smiled and kissed her lovingly. Memories of that wedding night came flooding back into my brain the longer I held her. She held onto me as she returned the kiss. After about a minute we broke away and she snuggled into my embrace, she nuzzling my chest fur tenderly. With my trench coat out of commission I had to spend the majority of the honey moon prancing around naked. Twilight didn’t mind, of course.
I laid a kiss on her head and said, “Twi, I can’t wait to start our life together.”
“I can’t wait either,” She replied, kissing me lightly on the nose. “We have a lot to think about: Where we’re going to live, what’re we going to do about Spike and Tailspin, and about...” She got quiet for a moment and then whispered in my ear, “Additions.”
My ears rose as I realized exactly what she meant.
She then spoke frantically, “Oh, I’m sorry, I got a little ahead of myself. I didn’t think if you would want...” She blushed again, “Foals.”
I smiled, “Maybe not now, but someday I’d love to have a foal with you Twilight.”
Her eyes glowed and she kissed me again. “Really Private? You would?”
“In truth,” I said as I blushed myself and rubbed the back of my head with a free hoof, “I always did want a filly.”
“A filly?” She tilted her head.
“I figure, I got the colt with Tailspin, a filly just seems the right way to go,” I explained.
Slowly, my wife got this big smile on her face and started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Just, you and a filly.” She gave a sly look. “I know for a fact you’d spoil her rotten.”
“I would not!” I retorted.
“Oh, she would be daddy’s little princess.” Twilight giggled at my expression and then made her eyes big. “Daddy, can I have some dresses from auntie Rarity?”
Must...resist...cuteness...
Twilight got closer, her eyes getting even bigger. “Pweeese?” she said in the most adorable whine ever.
I sighed, “Alright.”
“I knew it!” she declared, laughing loudly.
“Alright that’s it!” I cried, pinning her down and running my hoof along her soft belly fur. She giggled loudly, both from the joke and the fact she’s very ticklish down there. After my relentless assault passed she looked up at me and smirked; “Now I know how to get my husband to do what I want.”
“Looks like I’m whipped already,” I replied, kissing her on the horn and touching mine to hers affectionately.
“You know I love you,” Twilight said, leaning her horn against mine.
“I figured that, wedding night passionate cries and all,” I teased.
“You!” She gave me a playful shove. We both laughed and then felt the train rolling into a stop. We were, finally home.
________________________________________________________________
“Ooooooooooh! They’re coming back from their honeymoon, hooray, hooray! They’re coming back from their honeymoon, today, today. They’re coming back from their honeymoon, where Private did make Twilight swoon! They’re coming back from their honeymoon, today! YAY!” Pinkie finished her song, and the poppers on her back went off, showering us with confetti.
Twilight and I both laughed at Pinkie’s display as we stepped off the train. Our fellow Elements were there to greet us. Along with Spike and Tailspin, who ran/rolled over to us. I took my brother in my forelegs and Twilight took her son/brother figure into hers.
“It’s so great to have you both back!” Tailspin smiled widely.
“It’s good to see you too, buddy,” I said, ruffling his mane, eliciting a laugh from my little brother.
“We got Private’s house cleaned and everything,” Spike said. “Figured that would be where you guys’ll stay for a while.”
“Thanks Spike,” Twilight smiled.
“So Private,” Rainbow grinned, hovering over and nudging me in the ribs. “How was that first night?”
Twilight and I both blushed at the same time, earning a loud laugh from Rainbow.
“Now Rainbow Dash, that is a personal thing to ask!” Rarity scolded.
Rainbow was lying on her back, still laughing her flank off. “I can just imagine it, them doing it on books, it’s totally egghead worthy!”
“RAINBOW!!” Twilight and I both shouted.
Before Rainbow could laugh anymore, AJ’s lasso was thrown around her and she was yanked away by the farm pony. AJ trotted up to us. “It’s still good tah have you back, Ah need somepony tah try out some new treats after all.”
“Trying new recipes?” Twilight asked, letting go of Spike.
“That, and there’s ‘nother reason fer it.” She slowly turned to Fluttershy.
The butter yellow pegasus blushed brightly. Sweet Luna tell me it’s what I think it is!
“Well um, after the wedding Mackey and I, we...” She flapped her wings nervously. “He and I, we talked and well...” She held up one of her wings. My jaw dropped as she moved some feathers aside, revealing a blue feather.
“That’s a rainbow feather!” I cried.
“Well, yeah we can see color.” Twilight commented. “But it’s blue, not rainbow.”
“Only because it transformed itself to show up on Fluttershy’s wings. Mom told me about this once. The rainbow feather belongs to a bird that lives on some mountains. It’s feathers transform depending on the situation. It’s custom for a pegasus stallion to find one,” I explained, smiling wide, “To give to the one he intends to marry!”
“Oh my gosh!” Twilight hugged her friend tightly. “You and Big Mac are engaged! I’m so happy for both of you!”
Fluttershy just hugged her friend back, giving a cute smile herself. “Mackey asked Stormfront for some help with it,” she said in her usual quiet way. “He said he was wanting to do everything in a ‘right proper manner’, so nopony would doubt how he felt about me.” Fluttershy giggled, adding, “Mackey said that Stormfront brought down a feather for himself.”
Sounds like Grapes is going to get a surprise herself. Rarity then levitated over a box to me. “Consider it a welcome home present.”
“This isn’t from Victory Secrecy is it?” I asked.
“No, it seems Twilight found my present didn’t she?” she asked with a sly smile that caused my wife to blush.
“Yeah,” I chuckled and opened the package. Inside was my trench coat, grey with a bunch of pockets and a gun holster on the inside. Perfectly restored though with a few tweaks on it.
“Try to keep this one in stable condition darling,” Rarity added.
“I’ll do my best,” I said with a smile and slipped the trench coat on. Comfortable as always but practical as well.
“Sooo,” Pinkie said, leaning against me. “When can me and Swarmy throw you and Twilight a welcome home party?”
“After everything gets settled Pinkie,” Twilight said, lifting her wing and pulling me to her side. “Private and I got some things to do.”
“I’ll see you at the library later bro!” Tailspin said, leaving with Spike. Those two seem to have gotten closer since we left. I’m happy for that.
“We’d better get going,” Twilight said, levitating some of our luggage. “See you all later!”
We all bid our friends goodbye and levitated our luggage down the path towards my place. We soon arrived home to find it surrounded by ponies carrying cameras, recorders, and assorted other reporter paraphernalia. As if they smelled us, they all turned, and started to descend on Twilight and I, like locusts on a ripe wheat field.
Before they could bombard us with questions Twilight’s horn glowed brightly and a loud crack was heard. Suddenly all of the reporters were gone. I looked at Twilight. “Did you just mass teleport them?”
Twilight’s eyes glowed. “Alicorn magic is amazing!”
Oh great, she’s going to go power mad sooner or later. I asked, “Where’d you send them to?”
“I panicked and teleported them to the Clopdashian mansion. That’ll keep them busy for a while,” she said with a big smile.
“Yeah... Didn’t one of them have a baby or get divorced, or... something... I don’t keep up with that load of manure, and generally hear about it third hoof,” I said, looking kind of disgusted.
“This means we have the place to ourselves,” Twilight said, taking the time to run her tail along my nose before opening the door. I smiled and entered our home.
Twilight and I set the luggage on the floor and plopped ourselves down on the couch. Twilight sighed as she put her head on my shoulder. “I’m just glad to be home, much as I love the ocean it is good to just be back.”
I smiled and nuzzled her gently, “I’m just glad you’re here to be home with.”
“You too.” She kissed me gently, and then her eyes fell to the coffee table. “Hey, looks like our mail was plopped here. Well, still your mail but at least.”
I levitated up the envelopes. I sifted through them, bill, bill, invitation to welcome back party, another bill, gala ticket, more bill- wait what!?
I went back a few bills and found that a golden gala ticket was there. Attached to it was a small note. I read it aloud.
Dear Private and Twilight
I’m happy to hear you both enjoyed your honeymoon. I wished originally to let you have some time off to enjoy each other. Sadly, I’m afraid I can no longer hold this back. I’ve received several requests that both of you join for this year’s Grand Galloping Gala. I know it’s hard to ask, but I do wish for you both to be there. It would be a fine opportunity to have you both get used to public appearances. The ticket shall explain the rest.
Celestia
Twilight and I looked at each other. “Well, looks like we better go shopping for suits and a dress,” I sighed.
Twilight suddenly looked very nervous. “This’ll be the first time I’m at such a public event as a princess.” She started pacing in front of me. “What if I screw something up! What if Celestia hears about it an-”
“Twi...” She looked at me and I continued, “Breathe.”
She put a hoof to her chest, let in a huge breath, then let it out while extending her hoof. “You’re right, I can’t panic now.”
I then look at the ticket. Twilight sat beside me and said, “Private, you’ve been to the gala four times right?”
I nodded, “Once when I was a baby, another when I was two, another one when I was eight, and the last when I was twelve. Hopefully they livened things up a little.”
Twilight laughed, “I don’t think you wanna wish that Private, I know from experience just how crazy a gala can get.”
____________________________________________________________________
One Week Later...
I sat in the carriage as we rolled into Tabletop Mansion’s driveway. I wore the suit I wore at most formal occasions, with it getting a quick dry clean from Rarity. I still had on my trademark fedora. I had to leave behind Blackbird simply because they don’t allow firearms at the gala. Magical scanners will look for cheaters. Twilight looked radiant in her princess dress of pink and gold. Her gold shoes glinting in the lights...and the flashes of the cameras taking her picture.
I’ll admit, it felt kind of cool to be in a carriage with Twilight. Occasionally I stuck my head out and nearly lost vision in my eyes as the ponies on the walkway tried desperately to get a picture of us. Twilight would wave occasionally and smile at the cameras.
Finally our carriage rolled to a stop and one of the solar guard opened the door for us. I wonder what Twilight’s guards will look like. I ignored some ideas I got about crazy violet and silver armors and simply stepped out of the carriage. The paparazzi only shouted for my attention more as I turned to offer my hoof for Twilight.
She took it and stepped down out of the carriage. We walked down the red carpet together, not stopping to answer questions but smiling occasionally to satisfy them. I whispered in Twilight’s ear, “Now I know how Raiden feels when he comes to parties.”
“Hey, we both saved Equestria about five times now.” Twilight said, waving. “We deserve a little publicity.”
I smiled and kissed my wife on the cheek. That really got them going as the camera’s flashed to get a picture of us kissing. Twilight smiled and we both walked down towards the mansion.
Tabletop mansion was pretty large, about four stories high with a Roamanesque front, and columns, and statuary, mathematically trimmed hedges, and even gargoyles festooning the corners. The place was huge, rivalling the Diamond mansion in size, and in much better taste. Twilight and I walked up the steps and were led by some ushers into a massive ballroom. The place was jam packed with ponies. Ladies dressed in colorful gowns, Lords dressed in fine suits and servants attending to their every needs.
Twilight and I were greeted by a grand sight. Princess Celestia herself was walking towards us. Twilight and I nearly bowed, but remembering we were both royalty now, stopped and simply smiled.
Celestia and Twilight hugged for a moment and then the sun princess said, “I’m glad you both could make it. It’s good to see you two, how was the honeymoon?”
Twilight let go of her mentor and said, “It was wonderful Prin-I mean, Celestia. Gosh that’s going to be weird for a long time.”
Celestia and I both laughed, she turned to look at me. “I trust you took care of my student, Private?”
I held Twilight’s hoof. “With every fiber of my being, like always.”
Twilight nuzzled into my neck as Celestia smiled warmly, “I’m happy to have seen it turn out so well.” Celestia then returned to greeting other guests. Twilight and I stepped up and another pony came up to us.
This pony was an average sized, sea green coated unicorn stallion. His greying brown mane was well kept as well as his suit. He smiled politefully at us and bowed. “Your royal highness, it is wonderful for you to attend. I am Lord Tabletop, I volunteered my home for this very occasion.”
Twilight smiled and nodded, “We know how important this event is for ponies, so you generosity was welcome.”
Twilight didn’t mention that the only ponies who really benefitted from the gala were the nobility. But I’m thinking she’s keeping that quiet for the sake of being polite.
Tabletop then looked to me, “Ah, you must be the royal consort.”
I nodded, “Detective Private Phelps Eye, a pleasure.” I held out my hoof.
Tabletop reluctantly shook it and said, “You’ve been a very interesting subject here among the noble caste.”
I raised an eyebrow at the odd emphasis before Twilight pulled on my hoof. “We’d love to stay and chat, but we really should get to mingling with the guests.”
Twilight and I stepped down onto the ballroom floor. Several ponies who were chatting before stopped as we passed by. I couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious at the stares. Twilight looked over at me. “You okay?”
“Sorry,” I said, putting a hoof to my temple after we stopped. “I guess I’m just not used to it yet.”
“I doubt anypony would be used to it, my dear boy,” a familiar voice spoke up. Twilight and I looked up to see Fancy Pants walking towards us.
“Fancy Pants, it’s good to see you!” Twilight greeted as we both walked over.
“It is good to see you both as well, my friends,” Fancy said with a smile.
“How’s Fleur?” I asked, smiling in turn.
“Positively glowing, old boy. You’d be surprised how well she’s taking to pregnancy,” Fancy Pants replied. “I’d have expected more mourning of her figure, but she’s positively chipper about having our first.”
“So tell us,” I asked, “Do you know what it is yet?”
Fancy smiled with pride. “Fleur and I are about to be the proud parents of a colt.”
“That’s wonderful!” Twilight said, “Maybe I’ll bring my niece over sometime and it’ll be a play date.”
“Somehow I don’t think Cadence would appreciate you kidnapping her daughter.” I said, nudging Twilight and laughing a little.
Twilight pouted, “It’s not my fault she’s the most adorable thing on the planet.”
Fancy laughed, “Speaking of borrowing, I really must speak to you, Twilight. Celestia herself wished for me to enlighten you on some Princess related topics.”
“Fancy, I’m curious, you never said what exactly your job is,” I pointed out.
Fancy smiled, “Why my boy, I’m a philanthropist, but my official job is a business advisor to Princess Celestia.”
“You’re an advisor to Celestia?!” Twilight exclaimed in shock.
“Mostly when she requires one more skilled in finance,” He replied with a smile. “Her majesty was hoping I could impart some knowledge to you Twilight.”
“I’d appreciate it,” Twilight replied, smiling. “Shall we?”
“What about me?” I asked.
“Well, take my advice and go mingle with the guests,” Fancy replied, “I’m sure they are quite anxious to meet you.”
Like one would a leper, no doubt.
Twilight looked to me, “It’s only for a few hours. I’m planning on us leaving as soon as we can.”
“I’ll survive till then, Twi.” I laid a kiss on her cheek. She giggled and joined Fancypants at a nearby table to chat.
________________________________________________________________
“So than the lady starts wailing at me,” I explained, taking a sip of the wine glass as I recounted my tale. I barely drank from it so as to remain sober, but I also wanted to look like I appreciated the wine. Even if it did taste like crap compared to Grapes’ stuff. Tabletop donated the stuff from his own cellar according to a lady who stopped by to quell the complaints about the sub-par wine. That turned the complaints into a low grumble, since they didn’t want to offend the host, but even they knew the good stuff from the bad.
Grapes, I’ll even take your pineapple wine over this stuff.
I went on, “She starts going on and on about describing her filly in the utmost detail. She kept wailing about what a terrible tragedy it would be if she were lost on the cold streets of Manehatten.” The nobles at my table were engrossed in my tale. I wasn’t as good a storyteller as Tailspin, to be honest, but I could weave a narrative or two. Funny... it feels like I constantly narrate my thoughts like a story.
That’s just the wine, Privy, don’t think about it
Okay, Pinkie.
I went on, “She finally got so angry that she demanded to know why the hell I was smiling. I finally say, ma’am, you just described in perfect detail that filly that’s gorging on cupcakes like there’s no tomorrow’”
The nobles laughed at the story. One smartly dressed older stallion asked, “What was her response?”
I smiled and set down the wineglass “She just kind of mumbled something, went inside to get her kid and kept muttering the whole way home. In all honesty I think I broke her.”
They chuckled at that, one lady said, “Had we known you were such a storyteller we would’ve invited you sooner.”
“Is it true you took on Nightmare Moon, my boy?” An older looking stallion asked.
“She more or less defeated herself to be honest,” I answered humbly.
An elderly lady stated, “I heard you took down several villains in your career.”
“Somepony has to,” I said casually, trying not to get too proud. “I just do my duty to my home and my friends.”
“So humble,” a lady complemented. “Why I wish my husband had a tenth of your humility.”
“Darling!” Her husband cried and all laughed.
Note to self, semi voluntary relationship counseling later.
“But I do believe your greatest accomplishment,” another lady said, “Was winning the heart of fair Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
I kind of got this grin on my face I couldn’t help. I rubbed the back of my head. “Well, she wasn’t a princess when we started dating. She was a good friend and it turned into far more.”
“Sounds like it was true love,” a stallion said, leaning against his wife.
“It wasn’t easy, but we got through it,” I smiled. “We’re just trying to work out our housing situation.”
“Isn’t the Princess going to be staying at Canterlot?” one noble asked.
“Twi and I talked about it,” I explained, I could see the looks I got for not using a formal title for my wife. “She and I agreed that Ponyville is our home. It’s where we met, it’s where we fell in love, so we should stick with it. Besides, it gets attacked every other week, who do you think’s gonna clean up the next monster mess?”
They laughed a little at the levity. Hmm, it seems they started to like who I am. Now, if I can just get through the rest of th-
“WHAT IS THIS PEASANT DOING HERE?!?!”
Equestria Noir Season 2 Case 1 "Murder at the Gala"
Chapter 2 "Meet the Bluebloods"
Chapter 2
“WHAT IS THIS PEASANT DOING HERE?!?!” a voice boomed from behind me. A very familiar voice...
I turned and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him. Blueblood, Prince Blueblood, was standing there, glaring at me with pale blue eyes filled with rage. But, how is he?
“Blueblood?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“That’s Prince Blueblood to you, peasant!” he cried, glaring at me.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, shaking my head. “I thought you were in prison!”
“I was,” Blueblood huffed. “Wrongly accused when in fact you should’ve been in there for barging into my home.”
I can imagine what really happened. Somehow somepony worked it so he could get out. After what he did to Sweetie Belle and Rarity I was disgusted by the fact that he was even standing here. It didn’t help that memories of what he was like during that alternate reality still lingered in my mind.
“In case your brain is more empty than I thought, you were the one who orchestrated the kidnapping of Sweetie Belle,” I said, trying to keep my cool.
Blueblood scowled, “Yes, and I served my time in that ghastly mine for an entire year! Now I am out and am ready to put you in your place!”
“My place?” I asked, tilting my head.
“Yes, you filthy commoner! I have heard that you seduced Twilight Sparkle and married her under duress!” he yelled, pointing an accusing hoof at me.
The nobles around me whispered among themselves. I shook my head. “That’s the biggest load of horse shit I’ve ever heard.”
“You married her right after she was coronated! Before a more suitable husband could be chosen for her!” he declared, standing so posh I wanted to punch him in that inflated chest of his.
“I married her for love!” I retaliated. “Plain and simple!”
“Your marriage is hardly valid at this point!” he had the gall to say. “In fact several of my fellows in Canterlot can agree that a commoner hybrid like you is hardly worth Princess Sparkle’s time! The only possible reason you would marry her is for her standing!”
“Her standing?!” I shook my head in disbelief.
“The only reason nobles marry is to improve the bloodline with fine specimens of stallion hood such as myself. Or to incur favors or connections. Peasants marry nobility for money and station! To work their way into the Canterlot elite where only the finest unicorns are meant to be! Love is never a factor and you know it, apparently your chicken mother never knew it either!”
“...what, did you just, call my mother?” I growled, my voice dangerously low. Several nobles backed away from the pair of us. I just met the glare in Blueblood’s eyes.
He humphed again and said, “Just what you are, peasant. Just exactly what you are. Now I suggest you leave, before I have the guards throw you in the dungeon you... parasite!”
There was a quiet moment, where nopony in the crowd spoke. Finally, I laughed.
“What is so funny?” Blueblood demanded. “You should be quivering in fear! Not laughing like a fool!”
“It’s just, you honestly think I’m the parasite?” I laughed again, this was too damn funny.
“You married a princess of her money and station you filthy-”
I then got within inches of Blueblood’s nose, my silver eyes boring into his soul. "I'll have you know I intended to marry Twilight long before she ever became a princess. I've loved her for months before I even thought about marriage. To top it off, you think me a parasite? Check in the mirror, while I risk my life for Equestria every day all you do is stand around all day looking pretty. While I'm fighting villains that would make you wanna cry for mommy you're sipping wine..." I held up my wine glass. "By the way, this is very good wine, care to sample some?" I splashed it onto his white coat.
Everypony in the circle gasped as the wine stained Blueblood’s white coat. The look on his face was of sheer contempt. I knew it was petty for me to have resorted to this, but I was so disgusted by what he said that I didn’t care.
He tried desperately to clean the wine stain from his coat, before he cried, “GUARDS! TAKE THIS COMMONER TO THE DUNGEONS!!”
A pair of solar guards came up. The pair were led by another guard. He was a pegasus stallion I’d never seen before. He looked younger than I was, with an orange coat and a blue mane that was kept under his helmet. On his flank was a shield with a lightning bolt on it. He walked up, and spoke to Blueblood, “Is there a problem Prince Blueblood?”
“Yes, remove this commoner at once!” Blueblood ordered, pointing at me.
The guard looked at me, noticed who I was and shook his head. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken my prince. That’s Sir Private Eye, a hero to many of us in the guard. I won’t remove him without due grounds.”
“Due grounds?” Prince Blueblood yelled. “He’s a peasant! A social climber who seduced Twilight Sparkle! That’s more than enough to throw him out! But he also had the gall to stain my coat!”
The guard looked to me, the guy looked torn. I could see in his blue eyes he was fairly new. He probably wasn’t used to handling a situation like this. Finally, he shook his head and said, “I’m afraid, as a royal consort, and a guest to Princess Celestia he has just as much right to be here as you Prince Blueblood.”
“You dare defy me!” he shouted at the guard. “Who are you to defy my wi-”
“That is enough nephew.” I looked over and saw Princess Celestia walking over, Twilight was at her side. They both did not look happy at all.
The guard bowed and said, “Your highness, I apologize that I didn’t get to the disturbance sooner.”
“It is well Flash Sentry,” Celestia said, nodding to the guard. “I will handle the situation myself.”
Flash huh? He seemed like an alright guy. The stallion nodded and walked away with his guards. Blueblood looked about ready to speak his piece, before he got a glare from Celestia. The posh stallion was silenced by the glare. I know how intimidating Celestia can be when she wants to.
I was smart enough to keep my own mouth shut.
When Celestia spoke, she wasn’t playing around, “Causing trouble for my guests once again, nephew?” She raised an eyebrow.
"N-no. Just putting a social climbing commoner in his place. He did seduce your student, and tricked her into marrying him, after all," he stuttered, then added in a rush, "Everypony knows that he had no right to marry a princess, especially so quickly after her ascension."
Celestia was quiet for a minute, then spoke again, “I never informed Private that Twilight would become an Alicorn. Nor do I believe he seduced Twilight in any way. And the last time I checked, marriage laws clearly state that ponies can marry whomever they choose. And the only ponies with the right to annul a marriage is me, my sister and the couple themselves. Private was well within his rights to marry Twilight." She turned to her student, "Twilight, do you believe that Private married you for station?"
Twilight shook her head fervently. “Of course not! Private and I loved each other before I even sprouted these wings.”
Blueblood got his composure back. “But your highness, surely there are far more suitable stallions befitting your station. A fellow noble, who would help make for a strong family line..."
Twilight interrupted him, “I’d rather stay with Private, a stallion I care about, thank you very much.”
“But surel-” Blueblood started.
“Do you think yourself a more suitable husband for my student, Blueblood?” Celestia asked out of nowhere.
“Any noble would be a far more suitable mate than this half chicken peasant your highness!”
She smirked, "Well, if you believe yourself so worthy... then explain why you came out from the gala covered in cake? And why you insulted Applejack's refreshments...?" She gave him a dangerous glare, "If you can't handle Rarity then I hardly believe you worthy of my student, or for any mare until you get an attitude adjustment..." She smirked again, "Bluebear..."
I fought a smirk as I saw Blueblood’s face flush in embarrassment. Sounds like somepony has an embarrassing foal name.
Blueblood spluttered. "But... but... They're... just commoners...." he said weakly. "One was selling commoner food at a high society function, and the other was a blatant social climber, needing to be taught a lesson! I don't see why I would have to handle them, when they should know that they're not welcome here!"
Celestia then got within inches of Blueblood's muzzle. "They were my honored guests and the only reason why dawn will come tomorrow. They are the Elements of Harmony and more than deserving of your respect. If you believe yourself so above them, then the next time a villain comes along... I'll know who to call."
Blueblood whimpered something, and then a strong voice yelled, “Prince!”
Huh? His name is prince? That makes a boatload more sense.
I turned around and saw a pair of unicorns walking towards us. The stallion was tall, white coated, muscular, and might have been handsome at one point but age had taken that away. His mane was long and silvery, his eyes were a deep brown and they showed disgust.
On his left was a mare clad in a long blue dress that went with her own white coat. Her mane was long and richly blond, her eyes the same shade of blue as Blueblood’s. Her face showed that she put far more effort than she really should’ve into keeping her appearance.
Blueblood turned a little paler than normal. “Fa-Father!”
Blueblood’s father glared at him, “It seems you continue to embarrass me, my son!”
“Don’t be so hard on him Pure,” the mare said. “He was doing his duty as a noble.”
“Yes, but he could do it without causing a scene, Fantasia!” Pure shouted, and then turned to Blueblood. “You and I will have a talk later.”
Blueblood just sort of, deflated. He walked away slowly, the stallion glaring at him as the prince left. Pure Blueblood walked over to Celestia and bowed his head, “Forgive my son, he seems to make it his job to embarrass me.”
“So long as you are aware Lord Blueblood,” Celestia nodded. “I do not want to see him causing trouble for my student and her consort again.”
Lord Blueblood, I’m guessing that’s his title. The stallion huffed and turned around, walking away. His wife followed after him.
Another stallion, a tall and elderly looking unicorn with a suit and a soft tan coat walked up and spoke to Celestia. “Forgive my master, he’s been on edge as of late.”
“It is alright, Bastion, I can understand the stress one’s station can bring,” Celestia replied with a smile.
The stallion nodded and followed behind the Bluebloods. Judging by his rigid stance and the suit I’d say he was some kind of butler or servant. He didn’t exactly look happy to be trailing behind Lord Blueblood, then again I doubt anypony would want to be a servant to them.
Celestia then looked at the crowd of onlookers and said, “I have a story to tell, how about I tell you all of the time when Starswirl was just a colt learning under me?”
The crowd soon followed the princess and Twilight and I were left alone. I looked down, after all my talk about looking after Twilight it was me that lost my cool. Twilight looked at me, and put a hoof on my shoulder. “Private, are you okay?”
“Can we, just go somewhere else for a bit?” I asked.
She smiled and said, “Sure, the grounds are open for guests, we’ll talk there.”
Twilight and I walked up the foyer stairs and were prepared to leave when suddenly a maid ran into me. She was a young thing, probably in her early twenties. She was a unicorn, clad in a maid’s outfit with a bright yellow coat, a gold colored mane done up in a bun, and deep blue eyes. She got to her hooves and bowed graciously, “Forgive me your highnesses, I’m just in a terrible hurry.”
I spoke gently to the maid, “It’s alright, it was an accident.”
“Where are you running off to?” Twilight asked.
“I’m looking for Lord and Lady Blueblood,” The maid said frantically, “I lost track of them in the crowd coming here.”
“We just saw them,” Twilight explained. “They were heading that way,” Twilight pointed to a set of stairs near the dance floor. “That was when we last saw them.”
“Oh thank you both,” she said before taking off at Rainbow Dash speed towards the party.
Twilight and I just shook our heads and made our way outside.
______________________________________________________________
The grounds themselves were filled with plants and trees of all sorts. It wasn’t as filled as the castle’s garden but it certainly impressed. Twilight and I walked through it as everypony else was chatting and sitting on cushions. Luna’s moon hung in the sky and provided light to the garden.
Twilight and I made our way to a less crowded part of the garden. I levitated over a cushion and set it down for Twilight to sit on. She smiled and sat down on it, teleporting another free cushion so we could sit beside one another.
I took my seat and felt Twilight put a hoof on mine. She spoke gently, “Hey, Private, are you really okay?”
I sighed, “I screwed up Twilight. I lost my cool and I probably didn’t exactly present myself in the best fashion.”
“You’re still thinking about Blueblood, aren’t you?” She asked.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I mean, it’s just hard to hear that your marriage isn’t valid because of what you are.”
Twilight was quiet as I just looked at the grass. “I mean, you’re a princess Twilight. I just don’t want to think that maybe I’d be a burden to you.”
“Private, look at me.” Twilight said, her horn glowing and her magic moving my muzzle to meet hers.
“I’m looking,” I replied.
“Blueblood is wrong,” she said, looking firmly into my eyes. “You are not a burden, our marriage is valid and you want to know why? You've helped so many ponies, and saved lives, bettered others, and generally have been a wonderful stallion. I swear that name that Grapes came up for him is right. BlueBALLS is, and always will be, wrong."
I looked at her, taking what she said in.
“I married you because you are nothing less than the greatest stallion I know. A sweet friend, a loving brother, and a hero. Your birth doesn’t make you any less than that. I knighted you, and I believe you more the des-”
I cut her off when I pulled her into the tightest hug I could muster. She smiled and hugged me back just as tenderly. As I held her I said, “Twi, thanks, you really are the most wonderful mare in Equestria.”
“You’re not half bad yourself.” She pulled away and lowered my hat over my eyes. “Dear.”
I laughed a little and lifted my hat back into position. I then kissed Twilight right on the lips. She kissed back lovingly... until...
AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Twilight and I broke our kiss as the scream rang throughout the area. Twilight and tensed up as the nobles began chatting panically with themselves. I saw some guards run inside the mansion. I looked over at Twilight, “Looks like duty calls.”
“Come on,” Twilight said, taking off.
I followed behind her as we ran inside the mansion.
_____________________________________________________________
Twilight and I ran through the halls of the mansion. I caught up with a guard who was running too. “What happened?”
“That was Lady Blueblood’s scream sir,” the guard explained, still running alongside me. “We were told by a guest that she went away with her husband to a study. Lieutenant Sentry is there now.”
Twilight and I rounded a corner and saw Flash bucking the a door. Screams could still be heard coming from inside. After he took his turn, another guard tackled it. Twilight and I ran up to the guard and he bowed, “Your highnesses, they locked the door on the inside. Some kind of spell is keeping it shut and we can’t get in.”
“Leave it to us,” Twilight said, as we walked past him to the door. The guard let us walk up to it, I bent over to the keyhole and pulled out my lockpicking gear. Hey, just because I didn’t bring Blackbird, doesn’t mean I was completely without my gear. I held them up to Twilight, “Give me a magical penetration spell.”
Twilight nodded and her horn glowed, the tips of the bobby pin and screwdriver glowed slightly. “That should get us past any magical defenses.” I then went to work picking at the lock.
“And who’s idea was it to read up on spells while on our honeymoon?” Twilight said smugly.
“Yours dear,” I sighed.
I could just see Twilight smiling but I remained focused on getting through the lock. The screaming didn’t exactly help, but I kept my focus long enough to hear a click and the lock gave way.
I bucked the door open and shouted, “What’s goi-”
I stopped when I saw the scene. Lord Blueblood was holding his wife who was weeping and whimpering at this point. The maid from before was in a corner, whimpering even more. On the floor, was Bastion, Lord Blueblood’s Butler....
