The Curse of Gaben

Its been thousands of years since the release of Half-life 2 but still no episode three. Fans waited and waited, but it never came. Eventually they got very pissed off and attacked valve. They burned most of it and stole many crowbars, they even killed and hanged most of the staff. All except for Geben they tied him up with string and burned him alive. All seemed well for the Half-life fans but then Gaben leaped out of the fire holding a gravity gun. He cried out "You Fuckheads I mostly lard Im basically fire retardand!" Gaben then breathed liquid crowbars all over the fans and they died. Gaben then used his gaint portal gun to teleport the ruined office out of the universe.