The Great Switcheroo

by JimmyZD

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6
Length: 44192

A bizarre incident involving an exploding pig at the Carousel Boutique leaves Rarity in shock and unable to work. Shenanigans ensue.

A bizarre incident involving an exploding pig at the Carousel Boutique leaves Rarity in shock and unable to work. Twilight keeps her nice and comfy at the library, but Rarity still has duties to fulfill. Somepony will have to take her place for a few days. Shenanigans ensue.

Also, obligatory author's note:
Good morrow, fellow FIM fictionwriters! This be my first pony-oriented fiction, so I sincerely hope you enjoy it. :D I've been a fan of FIM since July 2011, and I love a good bit of creative writing (and reading :P) - but only recently did I think that I needed to write a little something about our favorite pint-sized equines. Cheers to my brother for helping out with the ideas process, and proofreading it. He's got a fic of his own in the works, so look out for that one soonish, I guess. :P

Published 2012-02-24 17:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-12 16:13:00 UTC

Alchemy

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ALCHEMISTS, YEAH!"

The three fillies had been hard at work in their clubhouse.

On the table stood a large and elaborate chemistry set. At the end of this labyrinthine setup of tubes, cylinders and filters was a beaker half-filled with a strange, luminescent-yellow substance. Using a copy of "Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions" they'd borrowed from Twilight's library as a guide, they had spent all morning gathering the ingredients necessary to create it, and after a gruelling all-day search for the many nigh-unobtainable items on their list - which included a dragon's sneeze, a hydra toenail and "the sheen from a pegasus pony's purple mane" - they had finally finished.

It had all been an exercise in repeated near-injury and risk. Their manes were indicative of the lengths that they'd gone to: Apple Bloom's was badly singed (she'd vowed never to go near Spike with a pepper shaker again); Sweetie Belle's was shredded awkwardly (those hydra can be very bad-tempered); and Scootaloo's was... entirely grey. Having the color sucked out of her mane with a magic vacuum cleaner had initially put a bit of a downer on her mood, but she had since taken solace in the fact that she now looked like the spitting image of Daring Do, whom she knew to be one of Rainbow Dash's heroes. Still, she pondered how exactly was she going to explain the whole "grey-mane" thing to her parents—

"Scoot!" squeaked a voice beside her emphatically.

With a shake of her head, Scootaloo snapped back into reality, to see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle beaming expectantly at her, their right front legs stretched high into the air.

"Don't leave us hangin', Scoot!"

Scootaloo stared at them both for a moment, then smiled, and repeated the gesture herself.

The trio high-hoofed. They marched back over to the table.

"Oooooh!"

They collectively marvelled at their creation. The shimmering yellow liquid was a sight to behold - it had the awe-inspiring, hypnotic majesty of a flickering bed of flames, and the... well, wetness, of water.

"This is gonna be perfect," Scootaloo said out loud after about half a minute passed, during which the three Crusaders simply continued to stare into the beaker of fluid.

"Ah sure hope so," replied Apple Bloom, a slight air of doubt in her voice.

The pegasus filly snorted. "Come on! We've learned from our past mistakes. The whole 'Cheerilee and Big Mac' thing has blown over now - and hey, we succeeded in making the love poison, didn't we?"

"It wasn't exactly what we wanted," Apple Bloom stated dryly.

"That's not the point! What I'm saying is that we got it right, right down to the whole 'lost in each other's eyes' thing. Potion-brewing is so obviously our special talent."

"I agree with Scootaloo," Sweetie Belle interjected, who was still resting on the table, her eyes fixated on the yellow liquid in the beaker, wearing a vacant look that suggested she actually mightn't have been listening to the whole discussion.

"Ah s'pose you've got a point, Scoot," Apple Bloom conceded. Then the thoughts of all three of them finally getting their alchemy cutie marks flooded her mind with a sense of urgency. "Come on, gals! What're we standin' around for? Let's test this thing out!"

Scootaloo nodded in agreement, and then looked down at Sweetie, who was still staring at the beaker. She nudged at the unicorn filly and snapped her out of her trance. "Sweetie! Go get the vials!"

Sweetie obeyed and trotted over to the door, beside which a small bag was laying. She grabbed the bottom of the bag in her mouth and emptied its contents carefully over the floor of the clubhouse. Ten small, thin containers rolled out.

"It sure was mighty kind of Twilight to lend us that book," said Apple Bloom as Sweetie Belle picked the vials up in her mouth and deposited them on the table. "And this chemistry set that she used in her youth. Course, Ah'm sure she now uses something much more sophistamacated than this."

"I wonder if she ever used this thing to make stinkbombs," Scootaloo pondered out loud.

"Nah, you know what she's like," Sweetie Belle squeaked. "She was probably way too busy buried in her books to care about stuff like pranks."

"Yeah, you're right," said Scootaloo. "What a neeeeerd!"

The orange, grey-haired pegasus sniggered at her own remark, but Sweetie Belle simply managed a tiny smirk of acknowledgement at this jibe. As a unicorn herself, she did have some degree of admiration for Twilight Sparkle's magical prowess and studious attitude. She wondered if she considered herself to be a "nerd", and ultimately decided that if she and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders weren't so busy, erm, crusading... that she'd probably be busy perusing volume after volume of beginners' spellbooks to while all the spare time away.

While Sweetie slipped into idle daydream once more, Apple Bloom was entirely preoccupied with getting the yellow fluid into each vial. Her sleight of hoof came in very handy at this point. She managed to pour out a perfectly equal amount of the liquid each time, then used her mouth to plug the tops of each with a cork.

She caught a whiff of the mixture as she sealed the last vial. It smelled curiously of primroses.

"All right!" she finally said, juggling a single container in one of her hooves. "Let's go give this stuff a test run!"

Inside the Sweet Apple Acres barn, the fillies were ready to put their new brew through its paces.

"Ohh, man... this is gonna shock Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon soooo bad," Scootaloo said eagerly, bouncing up and down in place.

"So..." Apple Bloom recapped, "The plan is: to find them, get them to a place where nopony else is, throw this at them, turn them to stone..."

"Whoa, wait a minute... hold up."

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were now looking at Sweetie Belle, who was in turn looking at them, but her face wore a look of utter bewilderment, rather than one of "oh, what now?".

"Are you saying that this is actually going to turn Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon... INTO STONE?!?" the little unicorn squeaked.

"Uh, yeah," Apple Bloom said matter-of-factly. "Only for a minute or two, though."

"Yeah, Sweetie, we're not monsters," Scootaloo reassured her. She added under her breath, "not like a cockatrice..."

"Yeah, that's the whole point of this prank," continued Apple Bloom, "We just have to throw this stuff on them, turn them into little pony statues, then, like... move 'em someplace else!"

"Why would we do that?" asked Sweetie Belle, puzzled.

"'Cos it's funny!" Scootaloo laughed.

"Yeah, an' it'll confuse the hay out of them," added Apple Bloom.

"Where do we move them to, then?"

"Ah dunno. On a roof, up a tree, in a river..."

"Uhh... I'm pretty sure that last one would be drowning them, Apple Bloom."

"Oh yeah, sorry. Hadn't thought of that," Apple Bloom said sheepishly. "But we've gotta get them back somehow, f'r makin' us do their homework last week... in exchange for not telling Miss Cheerilee who accidentally kicked her apple out of the window."

"That was no accident!" smirked Scootaloo. "You just wanted to practise your apple-bucking skills!"

"Did not! Mah apple-bucking is top-notch. Ah don't need practice."

"That's not what you said at the time."

Sweetie Belle still had a look of disapproval on her face. "D-don't worry, Sweetie!" said Apple Bloom, turning to the unicorn filly. "It's just a harmless little prank. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Well, are we sure we got it right, this time?" inquired Sweetie.

Scootaloo thought momentarily. "...Pretty sure," she answered.

"How sure is pretty sure, exactly?" Sweetie Belle dug deeper for a straight answer.

"Never mind! Let's just pick a pig, and let's do this!" Scootaloo retorted, eager to get started after all this time.

"Wait. So we're gonna be testing this on pigs, first?"

"Yes!!" chorused Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. It seemed that Sweetie Belle's lagging behind the plans that they'd clearly laid out beforehand was starting to grate on them somewhat.

"Don't worry, Sweetie!" repeated Apple Bloom. "We're fairly certain that this won't do anything stupid or awful," Apple Bloom said.

"Or awfully stupid," piped up Sweetie Belle, helpfully.

"Okay, relax, you guys!" shouted Scootaloo. "I'm just gonna do it, okay? ...But get behind that hay just to be safe."

The three fillies did this. Scootaloo uncorked the vial she was holding and stood up on her knees behind the bale of hay in question, and, positioning her left hoof high above her head, directed her aim towards an isolated pig drinking from a water trough in the corner of the barn nearest the door.

"Here goes nothing..." Scootaloo said, and squinted at the pig for extra concentration. Prior to this, Apple Bloom had instructed her exactly how she should do this - she had to swing the vial in order to get as much of the magic potion on the pig as possible, with absolutely minimal spillage. They had only a vague idea of what might happen if Applejack found out from the mystical glowing puddles inside her barn that they were conducting bizarre chemistry experiments in the barn - on live animals, no less.

Aiming carefully, she thrusted her left front leg in a calculated arc, but had to shut her eyes tight as she did so.

"Did you get it?" whispered Apple Bloom, as though this was some kind of covert operation, when in fact their only possible witnesses were a group of oblivious porcine.

"I'unno," Scootaloo answered in an equally hushed tone.

They cautiously peered over towards the pig, which appeared perfectly unaware of what had just happened. It was continuing to drink water from the trough. Across its back was a neat streak of luminous yellow liquid.

"Yes!" Scootaloo hissed, punching the air in celebration.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders crouched over the bale of hay at the animal in the corner, wide-eyed, waiting for something to happen.

About ten seconds (which seemed closer to a full hour) passed, and then something did happen.

The yellow liquid across the pig's back slowly evaporated into a series of star-shaped particles, which multiplied at an exponential rate and enveloped the pig's entire body, bathing the barn in a brilliant yellow light.

"I think it's working!" Scootaloo cried excitedly.

The pig was now vaguely aware that everything was not normal. It began to backpedal anxiously from the trough as though the sparkles surrounding it were a swarm of angry bees, and it was now squealing in panic.

"Come oooonnn..." Apple Bloom said through gritted teeth. Each of the three fillies craned their necks forward in the suspense. What they were seeing and hearing was somewhat disturbing and only getting worse - the pig now sounded as though it was in genuine pain. It was starting to attract the attention of the other pigs in the barn who were growing restless and agitated at the unwitting test subject's distressed squeals.

The three Crusaders all collectively bit their bottom lips.

"This... doesn't look right," Sweetie Belle groaned.

"TURN TO STONE, ALREADY!" screamed an exasperated Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom interrupted: "Guys, I'm starting to have second thoughts about thi—"

CRASHHHHH!!!!
"AAAAAaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!" They all screamed in unison.

In an instant, an almighty explosion of wind filled the entire inside of the barn, and a large hole was suddenly blown through the barn door, sending splintered chunks of wood flying in every direction. The three frightened fillies ducked down behind the bale of hay again and shielded their heads from the cacophony.

Then it was over - just as suddenly as it had started. All was silent, save for the wailing of the now thoroughly terrified pigs, who were galloping around the barn in a blind panic.

The three young ponies all opened one eye, and looked at each other with equally panicked expressions. About another ten seconds passed, with not one of them able to summon the courage to look towards the door at the aftermath of the scene of chaos that had just unfolded.

...

Eventually, Scootaloo hoisted herself up onto her hind legs - ever so slowly - and stared over the bale of hay at the enormous aperture in the barn door immediately in front of them. She swallowed.

Sweetie Belle was next, still not daring to open both of her eyes at once, and still gnashing her teeth together in an anxious and worried grimace. She wiped some dust from her face and coughed a bit, then peered, with one eye still closed, at the hole in the door.

Apple Bloom was the last to stand up. She observed the large hole in the barn door with a purely horrified expression across her face. Maintaining a firm glance on the hole, she brushed a loose chunk of wood from her singed mane. It fell with a hollow clatter to the floor, then she drooped her front leg by her side again, still mesmerized by the huge, gaping hole in the wall.

A few more chunks of wood fell from the hole. The dust cloud started to clear. There was a faint whistling of the wind outside.

There was not a petrified pig to be seen.

Well, that is to say, all the other pigs in the barn were petrified... but not in the "turned to stone" sense. They all backed into the furthest back corner of the barn and cowered there, oinking fearfully.

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom slowly but surely emerged from behind the bale of hay that had been their cover from the blast, and trotted slowly and with some degree of shame outside. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle leapt through the hole, and Apple Bloom followed a short distance behind them, opting instead use the traditional method of lifting the latch to open the destroyed door of the barn, in order to walk outside.

It was a hazy, serene late-afternoon. The dimming sun was setting just over the brow of the lowest hill in the distance, bathing the world around it in a velvety, red dusk. The other stars were just starting to shine through the thinly-clouded sky. Above their heads, a lone hawk cried out as it soared over Sweet Apple Acres.

The three fillies frantically searched the immediate area for a pig that might still be around... or, well, alive... or dagnabbit, even existent. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom's searches drawing a blank, they returned to where Sweetie Belle was, still stationed directly in front of the barn, staring up at the orangey sky, and sweating profusely.

She pointed a shaking hoof upward, and Scootaloo and Apple Bloom's gazes met with a distinctly porcine-shaped object sailing in the air about a hundred or so feet up. A contrail of smoke and stars accompanied its flight, which slowly descended in an arc - that looked destined for the very center of Ponyville.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders' throats dried up and they gulped collectively.

"...Uh oh."

"There! Finished for now!"

There was a sense of fulfillment and relief in Rarity's voice, and she sighed, content with her work. She stepped back a few paces to observe the piece from a distance.

It was a splendid-looking gala dress, draped over a mannequin. It was lovingly encrusted with fine amethysts and had an enchanting, silvery sheen to the fabric. Stitched with almost mathematical precision into the dress was a large, stylized representation of Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark - a set of multiple six-pointed white stars encircling a much larger purple star - this also was adorned with purple gemstones. The silks had been chosen specially to create a mystical, nocturnal color scheme of dark purples, dark blues and even dark silvers, and gave a positively otherworldly appearance to the ensemble. Rarity considered it to be a spectacle that not only improved on, but transcended the elegance of Twilight's gala dress from the previous year. It was undoubtedly one of her best works yet.

The unicorn had borrowed a fresh copy of "The Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy" from Twilight's library, and had used it as a reference guide for creating accurate representations of the various constellations of the night sky.

The final crystal had just been set in place, after close to five hours of Rarity's careful scrutiny of the distances between the individual stars in the constellations, according to the Almanac. She had also hoof-picked the most ideal amethysts for the job, taking into account overall size and brightness to ensure the patterns bore as close a resemblance to the celestial patterns they represented. It was tiring and painstaking work. Or rather, it had been, and she was finally done with process. And, needless to say, for the day.

The white unicorn levitated a hoofkerchief over from across the room and delicately mopped her brow with it.

"Oh, Rarity," she announced to herself, "you've really outdone yourself with this one. Twilight is simply going to love it. And I'm sure Luna will appreciate my hard work on recreating her... intriguing constellations, too." She fumbled on the adjective there, because stargazing and astronomy had never been something she had ever thought of pursuing as an interest, but taking the care to read through the Almanac had opened her eyes to just how infinitely intricate the whole system was. It was certainly mind-boggling, but she couldn't see how she could spend as much time studying and writing about it as Twilight did. It was certainly... intriguing, though.

All those amethysts were quite a dazzling sight to behold, Rarity herself had to admit. She made a mental note to ensure that Spike was kept a considerable distance away from this particular dress, way up until the night of the Gala.

She was infinitely glad that Sweetie Belle had apparently been out of the house all day. There was no other earthly explanation for: why the house had been so quiet; nothing in the boutique had been toppled or broken or unravelled in all the time she'd been in her studio; and... come to think of it, Rarity hadn't seen her sister since lunchtime. While she was a bit concerned that she might have to go searching for her sister if she didn't turn up soon, she was grateful that the little troublemaker had kept herself busy while Rarity had spent nearly the whole day on such an important project. She contemplated preparing tea early, and surprising Sweetie Belle with her favorite meal as an act of graciousness. Now, what did Sweetie say was her favorite again...?

A cool, gentle breeze had been blowing through the open window of the Carousel Boutique studio. But now the sun had disappeared almost completely, and dusk had by now fully descended upon Ponyville. Rarity suddenly became aware of how chilly it had become and felt her coat start to prickle up. "Oh, dear, that simply won't do," she muttered, marching over to the window to close it.

The stars were now fully visible in the twilit sky. Rarity stared up at the gleaming bodies high above, and suddenly found herself recognizing clusters of them. She immediately grabbed the Almanac from across the room and found the page reference for the constellation "Taurus". In the book, the stars were arranged precisely as she beheld in the dimming sky before her - a clearly 'V'-shaped group of five stars, with four arms extending outwards in exactly the directions she saw.

A thrill passed through her body and she sighed happily. Ha ha, so this is where Twilight gets all her motivation on this stuff from, she thought to herself. Maybe, once the dress was finished, she could ask Twilight if she could borrow her telescope for a night or two—

Rarity suddenly caught sight of something in the sky above. Unable to recognize it as any kind of star-like body, she lifted the book in front of her once again, and flicked through the pages rapidly with her horn's magic.

Her eyes darting back and forth through the book's pages, she looked at each diagram of the various astronomical bodies that the Almanac listed, drawing a blank with each one. There was nothing shaped like that in this book—

Then she became aware of a faint sound passing through the night air... drawing closer.

It sounded like... a pig squealing.

Her eyes widened as she took a second glance up towards the ominous shape in the sky above her...

Accelerating straight towards her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

Her scream was interrupted by the airborne intruder plunging straight through the open window and catapulting her backwards into her studio. She tumbled chaotically into the opposite wall, knocking several spools of fabric off the high shelf above her and onto her head.

Her head spinning from the impact of the falling objects, her legs flailing in the shock at having been knocked over, and her lungs almost completely drained of air from the intruder's collision with her, it took her some time and effort to pick herself up. Coughing and breathing hard, Rarity looked back up - but then wished she hadn't.

The Almanac had gone flying off in another direction, colliding with the cabinet, where a set of neatly-folded fabrics lay. The cabinet went toppling over, and the rolls of fabric flew off their shelves and made a fine old mess of the otherwise unlittered studio. The flying book then eventually snagged on the wire suspending the lamp from the ceiling, slithered down it, and eventually brought it crashing down. The lightbulb shattered into pieces on impact, and the heat and sparks from the resulting miniature explosion ignited the book and the fabrics laying strewn across the floor, which trailed all the way over to her bed. Spreading fast, the fire soon engulfed most of her studio.

Rarity stared, aghast, unable to speak or even breathe purely from the shock. She sniffed, and swore she could smell the fabulousness burning away in amongst the rising clouds of smoke. All that escaped her was a simple whimper.

She was still winded, and barely had any breath left in her. Then she saw the thing in the middle of the room, and, letting all of her distress loose in one go, shrieked mightily.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!"

There was a pig.

It was upside down, swinging its four stubby legs back and forth and still squealing in a mixture of confusion and pain.

Rarity emitted yet another high-pitched sound.

"OH MY SWEET CELESTIA! GET OUT OF MY BOUTIQUE YOU FILTHY FARM ANIMA—"

KA-BOOOM!!!

A yellow, starry glow illuminated the animal, and it exploded in an enormous and glorious magical fireball, sending embers and sparks outward in every direction and showering Rarity's studio with a hail of bacon strips.

It was at that point that Rarity fainted.

Twilight let herself in. It was normal for her unicorn friend to be so engrossed in her dressmaking that she'd miss the doorbell, or indeed the most persistent spree of door-knocking. Outside the boutique, the sun had now vanished, and the chilly evening air bit down on the unicorn's fur coat, but her head felt toasty and warm thanks to the specially-fashioned earmuffs that Rarity had made for her personally. She'd also been humming a happy little tune to herself that Pinkie Pie had been singing all day about smiling, and she was overall in a good mood, which had certainly not been interrupted by any sort of inexplicably flying farmyard animal soaring noisily overhead and crashing into the room directly above her head.

Twilight ascended the stairs to Rarity's studio, still humming innocently away.

"Hi, Rarity!" she greeted as she stepped up to the door. "Are you in there? I know you didn't want me to come in while you were working on my super-special dress for the Gala, but I just wondered how you were getting on with that book I lent you?"

No reply. The purple unicorn sniffed.

"...s...smoke? SMOKE?!"

Filled with a sudden surge of dread, she stepped directly in front of the door, and darn-near broke it down with a swift kick of both of her hind legs.

Her jaw nearly dropped clean to the floor at the spectacle that greeted her - Rarity, lying rigid on her back with all four hooves perfectly frozen in mid-air, covered from head to hoof in smoky bacon; her studio almost entirely aflame.

"Rarity!" Twilight spluttered through the noxious pumes of smoke as they escaped into the corridor.

"Rarity!" she called out again, then looked again at the scene in front of her, still trying to process it.

"Did Discord drop by here, by any chance?"

Author's Note:

Hoo-ey did this thing explode. Hope you guys don't mind shortish chapters, because that's likely the length the following ones will be - definitely not quite this long. I love a good bit of build-up to an actual plot as much as the next guy, but I really think I'll go easy on the word count for the next few chapters at least. :P

This is my first MLP fic, but definitely not my first bit of creative writing. I can already see that I might well struggle to use gender-specific pronouns what with there being a virtually all-female cast and whatnot. heh.

Anyways, I hope you folks enjoyed the read! (Or at the very least got a little laugh out of it.) I'm open to all sorts of constructive critique and criticism. Any questions, comments, etc.? I'll try and answer them where appropriate. :)

On an unrelated note, the CMCs are rather fun to write for. :P

Passing the Buck

"Spike! How's that tea coming along?"

"Ready now, Twi!"

"You got the right flavor?"

"Absolutely!"

In Twilight's library, Spike took the kettle from above the fireplace, and poured its boiled contents into a mug on the table beside the couch, upon which was laying the still-frozen rigid figure of Rarity.

Twilight took the mug in the magical grasp of her horn, and deeply inhaled the aroma of the tea. "Aaah, yes. Rarity's favorite. This should do it," she said, handing it back to Spike, who received the mug, and, taking extreme care not to spill it, wafted it gently in front of the unresponsive unicorn's face.

Rarity's nose twitched.

"GAAHHHH!"

Her sudden scream caught both Twilight and Spike unawares, and the baby dragon leapt backwards in shock, letting go of the ceramic mug and sending it flying across the room, where it shattered to pieces against the wall, leaving a substantial pool of steaming herbal tea in its place.

"Aw, nuts," Spike grumbled.

"Rarity, don't panic! Everything's okay!" Twilight said, who was actually more immediately concerned with the well-being of her friend than some smashed crockery. "You've had a nasty shock, but you're safe and sound in the library now!"

"GYYAAAAHHHHH!"

Twilight held her ears and Spike raced into the kitchen, ostensibly to fetch another mug, but mainly to get as far away from the shrieking unicorn as he could.

"Please, Rarity! Relax! Try to breathe!" Twilight said, with a franticness in her voice that probably wasn't helping her friend relax.

"B-b-b-b-b-but... m-m-m-my b-b-b-boutique..."

"Yes, there was a fire at your boutique," Twilight felt the need to remind her, "but I called the fire brigade and they took care of it lickety-split. Everything is fine."

Rarity stared into Twilight's eyes vacantly. Everything was not fine. Her mind was still firing on all cylinders, trying to process the current situation, and recall the events leading up to it. However, her memory was fuzzy, and only small snapshots of the previous evening were readily accessible. She remembered an almighty explosion, her boutique falling into chaos, and the...

The pig.

The filthy, filthy, squealing, exploding pig.

She screamed a third time, but this time managed to stifle it by plunging one of her front legs square into her mouth.

"I know, Rarity, it must have been traumatic for you, but Spike and I are here to help you recover," Twilight reassured. "Spike's just fetching you some more tea."

As she said this, Spike reemerged from the kitchen with a fresh mug, filled it up, and presented Rarity with her favorite blend of herbal tea. Rarity lifted it with her magic, very shakily.

"My... my dresses. Your dress!" she squeaked. Her horn's magical grip on the mug promptly dissipated, sending it crashing to the floor.

Spike buried his face in his hands and returned to the kitchen.

"I told the fire brigade to salvage everything they could from the fire," Twilight replied, "And they got their best pegasus ponies on the job. As far as we know, all of your dresses were recovered."

This provided some relief to Rarity, who slumped back into the couch. "Oh, Twilight," she whimpered, "it was awful."

"I know, Rarity, I know," replied the purple unicorn, stroking her friend's head soothingly. "Tell me how it all happened, if you can remember."

"Well, Twilight..."

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Spike positioned a small stepladder in front of himself, and clambered up onto the workshelf. Then, he dragged the toaster in front of him, stood shakily on top of it, and tried to balance himself as he opened the cupboard directly above him. As he attempted to open it, the toaster gave way beneath his feet and he hit himself in the face with the cupboard door, toppling over backwards and crashing into the stepladder, which in turn fell to the floor with an awful clatter.

"Spike! Be more careful in there!" shouted Twilight Sparkle.

"Owwww..." Spike groaned in response.

"Sorry, Rarity, what was that?" the unicorn said, turning back to her friend. "Spike's antics in the kitchen drowned out what you just said."

"Well, Twilight... it was an exploding pig."

Twilight frowned. "I'm sorry, Rarity. What was that? That sounded like, 'exploding pig'." She giggled light-heartedly.

Rarity returned a deadpan expression.

"I am serious, darling."

Twilight's smile vanished. "An... exploding pig?"

"An exploding pig."

A few seconds passed in awkward silence between the two unicorns. Spike presently returned from the kitchen, brandishing a third ceramic mug. He filled it up, set it down cautiously on the table beside Rarity, and sped out of the room again before anything else could happen.

"Thank you, Spike," Twilight called out.

Suddenly, there was a deafening crash and Twilight's door nearly flew clear off its hinges.

"I SAW THERE WAS A FIRE. OH GOSH. OH GOSH. IS EVERYPONY OKAY? CAN I DO ANYTHING TO HELP?"

Standing in the doorway, talking with fleeting breath and a panicked tone, was Fluttershy.

Twilight raised a hoof to calm the disturbed pegasus. "Relax, Fluttershy, it's all taken care of!"

Fluttershy raced over to the couch and leant over Rarity, and, scarcely allowing herself to breathe between sentences, started speaking again. "Oh Rarity, are you alright? Any scratches? Burns? I brought along some medical supplies! Where does it hurt? Oh, your mane is a mess! Want me to comb it for you?"

"Easy, Fluttershy!" interjected Twilight. "She's not hurt, honest... although she did receive quite a shock when it happened. We're still not entirely sure how it all happened."

"I'm telling you it was a flying exploding pig! It came right through my window!"

"Suuuure..." muttered Spike as he unhooked the kettle to top it up in the kitchen, presuming he was out of Rarity's earshot, but the unicorn had obviously heard and shot him a devastating glare as he exited the room.

The door flew open again. "Miss Sparkle!"

Standing there was a caramel-colored stallion with a dark brown, well-combed mane. The three ponies cast their glances his way. "You said you had a friend in distress?"

"Oh, hi Doctor," said Twilight. "Thanks so much for coming on such short notice. She might have some memory loss and maybe a teensy bit of delirium, but overall Rarity seems okay for the time being."

"I am not okay for the time being!" the unicorn shouted indignantly, kicking a hoof unintentionally into the side table, knocking the mug of herbal tea to the floor.

"FOR PETE'S SAKE!" yelled Spike, stomping back towards the kitchen, but this time to retrieve a dustpan and brush.

"Ah, that's good, then," the doctor responded to Twilight gladly, ignoring Rarity's interjection. "At least it's nothing serious."

"THIS IS SERIOUS!" Rarity screamed.

"I'll just recommend that she gets a good rest for a day or two. Maybe three. Make sure to keep me posted, girls." And with that, he walked out.

Rarity plopped back into the couch for the second time that night. Her heart sank, and she stifled a sob. How could this have happened? It was all going so well... it had been such a lovely starlit evening, Sweetie Belle had been out of the house and hadn't caused any disasters whatsoever, and she'd just laid the finishing touches on Twilight's fabulous new dress—

Twilight's dress.

Oh, no. How was she ever going to finish it, now? She was essentially confined to a couch for two or three days. That made two or three days that could well be spent on the dress, if that wretched farm animal hadn't exploded all over her studio.

This was bad. Very bad. She would disappoint herself, her friends and even possibly Princess Celestia if that dress wasn't completed. What could she possibly do to turn this around?

...

Idea!

"Fluttershy," Rarity implored the pegasus with a weak and wavering voice that was more symptomatic of her trauma than a simple overdramatic performance. "As you well know, The Grand Galloping Gala is next week. All of the dresses I've been hard at work for it are done... except Twilight's. I took extra special care with that one, and it was almost finished - ALMOST - but now I'm cooped up here for days on end, and it surely won't get finished in time!"

Fluttershy looked into her unicorn friend's pain-filled eyes. She wasn't entirely sure she liked where this conversation was headed.

"Fluttershy, darling," Rarity grabbed hold of her friend's face, and brought it directly in front of her own. "You know about dressmaking. I ask, nay, beg of you that you finish the dress for me!" She attempted a smile to win the pegasus over, but it didn't come out looking entirely genuine.

"Oh, Rarity! I'd... I'd be so happy to... but..."

"There's a 'but'?" Rarity inquired, her already awkward facial expression spasming even more.

"I'm afraid I've got a lot of patients still waiting on me back at my cottage. I just couldn't leave them for so long."

Rarity put on her absolute best puppy face.

"Oh, alright! I'll give it my best! But..."

Another 'but'? Rarity's face fell again.

"...but you're far superior to me when it comes to dressmaking, Rarity. I'm not sure if I can do a good enough job."

"Oh, Fluttershy! You have to! You must! You shall! I have my faith in you as a friend!"

"And so do I," added Twilight helpfully.

Fluttershy didn't.

"Well," she said, turning towards the door, "I'll... be off now, I guess. I'm just glad you're okay, Rarity."

"I'll be fine, sweetie," Rarity replied. As she said this, her mind became flooded with images of her burning boutique again, and her facial expression turned gradually from hope to despair as she slumped in an undignified manner into the couch and slithered slowly to the floor.

"Just please check to see if my beautiful dresses are all right," she whimpered.

"It would be best if you did just check by the boutique to see how things are, Fluttershy," suggested Twilight.

"Yes!" Rarity exclaimed. "And don't forget about Twilight's gala dress! It has to be ready by the end of the week, remember!"

"I will," Fluttershy said.

"Oh, and... and... don't bring it here!" Rarity called out. "On any account! I don't wish Twilight to see it... y-yet... Nothing personal, darling, it's just that I want it to be a super-special surprise for you."

Twilight laughed. "Fair enough, then."

"So long, Rarity! Get well soon," said Fluttershy, fluttering off into the evening sky.

When the yellow pegasus reached the boutique, there was still a faint scent of smoke in the night air, but the firemares had long since departed.

She slowly ascended the stairs to Rarity's studio and, cautiously opening the door, gasped at the sight before her.

It was a royal mess. The stench of smoke and burnt fabric was at this point overpowering, and the floor was drenched.

Fluttershy coughed, gracefully. A single rasher of bacon swam past her.

She wandered to the back end of the room, towards the wall nearest the open window, where a shiny, purple, silver and blue dress lay draped over a mannequin. Clearly visible in the fabric was a giant rendition of Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark.

"Twilight's dress..."

It was a beautiful wreck. The whole thing was dry, but had obviously become completely waterlogged in the firefighters' attempt to quell the flames, as evidenced by the fabric looking bloated and uneven. The edges of the dress where the fire had begun to consume it were blackened almost beyond recognition. Fluttershy couldn't even make out the color of the hems.

This looks terrible. There's no fixing it, Fluttershy thought to herself. But I can't break this to Rarity, it would destroy her. I guess I'm just gonna have to remake this dress from the ground up.

Thinking it out loud reminded her of her predicament. Oh, but it'll eat up all of my time! I'll have to spend all week on it! And... and my animals! Who could...

She had an idea. She didn't like it particularly, but it could conceivably work, and at this point she had to try anything, even if there was only a slim chance that it might work. She took off into the air once more.

"Now who in Equestria would break into mah barn just to steal one pig?!" Applejack asked no-one in particular. She'd been busy applebucking all day, having worked especially late this particular evening, and had been carrying a wagon full of apples towards the house, when she'd noticed a large hole in the barn that most certainly hadn't been there before. On investigation, she'd discovered all but one of her pigs to be accounted for, if the rest seemed a little shaken up.

"Oh, Applejack!" Apple Bloom shouted, appearing out of nowhere and speaking in a slightly overdramatic tone. "Thank goodness you've come! Somepony's gone and blown a hole in the barn!"

"Ah noticed, but thanks for the heads-up, sis," she said dryly. "Didya see who done it?"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were crouched tensely within a bush behind the Apple sisters, observing this exchange, and chewing their hooves furiously.

"Oh, uhhh..." Apple Bloom hesitated, "Noooo way. No. Nope. I did not. That I didn't."

"Huh."

Applejack proceeded over towards the hole again and inspected it further. It certainly looked as though the intruder had somehow blasted their way through. The entrance to the barn certainly hadn't been sawn or chopped through - that much was clear from the overall shape of the hole.

"Apple Bloom," the earth pony inquired. The filly swallowed nervously. "What were you doing at the time, exactly?"

"Oh, uh..." Apple Bloom scrambled for the right answer. "Uh... nothin'. Nothin' at all. See, ah was, uh, in up in mah room with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, and we were just..." She stumbled. "...sittin' around, doin' nothin'... when we heard this thunderous crash outside. And when we went down to see what all the ruckus was, the perpitater had, uh, already gone."

"I thought I'd locked this thing up already," Applejack muttered, swinging the door back and forth softly with a hoof. "What's it doin' unlocked?"

"Well... we unlocked it," her sister replied truthfully. "We... wanted to see the damage that had been done," she added, not so truthfully.

"You unlocked the door?"

"Ee-yup," Apple Bloom replied confidently, mimicking her brother Big Mac.

"You unlocked the door with the massive, pony-sized hole in it?"

Apple Bloom's confidence came crashing down. Inside the bush, two little hooves met with two little faces.

"Apple Bloom, are you sure—"

But the applebucking pony's inquiry was interrupted by a panicked pegasus landing at her feet.

"Oh Applejack I'm so sorry for bothering you especially so late but I have a real problem you see Rarity's not too well and she has a dress to finish and she can't do it so she asked me to do it but I can't do it because I've got animals back home who need my care and attention and, and, and—"

"Whoa-ho there, silly filly," Applejack said, stopping Fluttershy's mouth with a hoof. "Now, breathe."

Fluttershy inhaled and exhaled gradually.

"Now run all that by me again," said Applejack kindly, lowering her hoof to the ground, "and slowly."

"Alright," Fluttershy breathed. "Well, Rarity's quite upset at the moment - a fire started at her studio, and when she woke up, she seemed to think that a pig had flown through her window."

"A pig?!?" Apple Bloom's eyes darted from side to side, and then she smiled awkwardly at the two elder ponies. "W-well, heheh, whoever heard of a flying pig? Th-that's just plum ridiculous!"

"Sure is, sis." Applejack turned back to the yellow pegasus. "Well, that's awful for poor Rarity."

"Yes. So, I'm taking Rarity's place for a few days because she wants me to finish one of her dresses, but... it's going to take me much longer than I thought. I was just wondering if you could possibly fill in for me at my cottage, and look after my animals while I'm gone?"

"Well, shoot, Fluttershy... I'd love to help out, really, but unfortunately somepony broke into mah barn and pilfered a pig."

Apple Bloom grimaced, shut her eyes tight and punched the sides of her head with her hooves.

"Ah'm still investigating this whole thing, and ah'm afraid it's gonna take me all day tomorrow to get the authorities' attention, file a damage report, and all that hay. On top of all the applebucking."

"I understand, but... but, please, Applejack! I know how you love animals almost as much as me! You're honestly and truly the only one who can fill in for me!"

"Ah'm sorry, Fluttershy, but ah'm just too darn busy right now. Is there honestly and truly nopony else who can help ya out?"

"Nopony." The pegasus turned away solemnly.

A few awkward seconds passed during which nopony uttered a word or glanced another pony's way. Applejack scratched the back of her neck, and Fluttershy kicked at the ground.

"Fluttersh—"
"Appleja—"

Another few seconds passed as the two ponies interrupted themselves.

"Ah'm sor—"
"It's oka—"

Another few seconds.

"Look, alright. Ah'll lend ya a helpin' hoof. What do you need me for?"

Immediately the pegasus perked up. "Oh, well, let's see - Angel Bunny needs his carrots, there's a squirrel with a fractured knee I'm taking care of, and there's a bear cub that's fallen into my hooves, I think he answers to Freddie, and he needs an hour or two to play outside or else he gets violent—"

"Whoa whoa whoa there, darlin'. Ah think it'll be a darn sight easier if you just wrote me out a checklist."

"Good idea! I'll get started on that right away! Thank you so much!" Fluttershy clasped her earth pony friend in a tight embrace, then bade the two sisters farewell as she flew off back in the direction of Twilight's library.

"Hoo, boy. Ah sure hope ah know what ah'm doin'..." Applejack sighed. "Apple Bloom."

The sudden sternness in her sister's voice made the filly's heart lock in her chest.

"Can ah entrust you to sortin' out this whole business?" she nodded her head in the direction of the large hole in the barn door.

"Ohh, geez, well... ah'd love to, big sis," said the filly. "Buuut... ah think ah'm gonna be awful busy with school and everythin' tomorrow..."

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh! Right. Right. Well... shoot... uhh... well, okay! Y-you can count on me, Applejack!"

"That's mah girl." The orange pony yawned. "Ohhh, well... ah think ah'm gonna hit the sack. But ah gotta drop these babies off, first," she said, indicating the wagon of apples she was still attached to, "and go talk with Rainbow Dash about somethin' first. Lock up the barn there, and push somethin' over that there hole to stop the pigs from escapin'."

"Will do...!"

"So long, sis."

And so, Applejack departed, and a despondent Apple Bloom trotted over to the bush where her two friends were hidden. Their heads cautiously emerged from it.

"...How deep are we in it?" asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom responded by stretching a front hoof several inches above the top of her head.

"Rainbow, please!"

"AJ, I couldn't possibly!"

Applejack's patience was wearing thin, and her neck was starting to develop a cramp from craning it upwards to meet with Rainbow Dash's face, which was peeking out from behind the cloud she was lying on. Dash herself was annoyed at having just been woken from an amazingly Wonderbolts-themed fantasy by the earth pony.

"Rainbow, ah'm gonna be far too busy with Fluttershy's animals the next morning to attend to the farm! Have you seen how many critters she's got in the house alone? Let alone all the ones she keeps in her garden?"

"I'm not blind, Applejack, of course I have! But do you know how many responsibilites a pegasus pony of my stature has on the weather team? I can't spend, like, three days on your farm rebuilding doors and kicking trees! I've got duties to uphold!"

Sometimes Applejack swore that Rainbow Dash's ego could eclipse that of that awful showmare, "The Great and Powerful" Trixie. Seeing that there was no other foreseeable way of persuading the pegasus, she decided to try a different approach.

"Rainbow, you should be honored that ah chose you to be the one to replace me. Normally ah wouldn't let a single other pony buck mah apples, but you're the most dependable and capable pony ah know. We'll lag behind on the apple harvest what with repairing the barn and investigating the incident an' all that - but you'd have that orchard o' mine cleared in a flash. Come on, don't let me down. Don't let the Apple family down."

Rainbow Dash was torn at this point. Abandon her duties on the weather team for a day or two, or let down one of her best friends? Well, she was the Element of Loyalty... but to whom was she the loyalest?

She looked deeper into Applejack's eyes, and clearly saw signs of desperation. She considered the possibility of actually helping out on Sweet Apple Acres in Applejack's absence, and which of her abilities would be required. All of a sudden the idea of kicking trees actually seemed appealing. She sure loved destroying that old barn a few months ago - an exercise that required her to use the full extent of her brute strength. Maybe this wouldn't be too dissimilar to that...?

"Okay, Applejack. You've got a deal. What time do you want me to be there?"

"7:00. Sharp."

"What?! That's... that's like seven in the morning! I'll still have the taste of toothpaste in my mouth, for Celestia's sake!"

"That's life on the farm, Rainbow."

"Ohh, maaaan." The pegasus was steadfast in her decision to stay loyal to her friend, but now that the concept of being up super-early had entered her mind, she was starting to see flaws in the plan. She'd be up so early that she wouldn't even be able to drop into Cloudsdale to let the weather team know she was going to have to take the next few days off. Helping out the Apples on the farm would suck up all of her free time.

She flopped unceremoniously onto her cloud again and spread all four of her hooves outward, groaning.

"Applejack, is there any wa—"

Gone.

"Argh! What am I gonna do?" the blue pegasus pony despaired.

"Come on, Pinkie!" Rainbow pleaded, laying on the ground and clutching the hooves of the pink pony. She was on the top floor of Sugarcube Corner, having caught Pinkie Pie just as she was putting the baby Cakes to bed.

"I'm begging you, you've gotta be my substitute for the next three days at least! I know it sounds like an awful responsibility, but I'm doing a big favor for Applejack and it's gonna eat into all of my time on the weather team! Please, help a girl out!"

"Okay!"

"W... what...?"

Rainbow Dash stared up her friend in disbelief. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yep!"

Rainbow Dash got up and scratched the back of her neck. "Youuuu... honestly have nothing to do? You can just... do it for me?"

"Absolutely!"

"And you're... okay with that?"

"Sure!"

Rainbow Dash frowned. "You don't see any problems, what with being an Earth pony, and not being able to do... this?" She opened her wings out and flapped them back and forth. "Or... walking on clouds? 'Cause that's pretty important."

"Nope! Anything for you, Dashie!" The pink pony ruffled a hoof around her friend's rainbow-colored mane. And with that, she bounced merrily out of the door, humming a happy little tune, and leaving Rainbow Dash dazed and confused in the baby Cakes' bedroom.

"...What just happened?"

*knock knock knock*

"Oh, hey Pinkie Pie. What are you doing up so late? It must be past 10:00."

"Hi Twilight! Well, I'm doing a big favor for Rainbow Dash, see? And I've gotta be away from Sugarcube Corner for three days, or something like that. Anyway, I was just wondering if you'd like to take my place until I'm done."

"Sorry, Pinkie. I've really gotta watch the library for the next three days."

"Really? Come on, Twi! I'm sure you'll love baking with the Cakes!"

"I'm really sorry, Pinkie. Under normal circumstances, I'd be more than happy to help you out, but you see, Rari—"

Twilight stopped mid-sentence and looked straight at Pinkie.

"The Cakes? As in, Mr and Mrs Cake? Like, the ones who own Sugarcube Corner? And have two adoooorable little babies?"

"Oh yeah! And if I'm not there, the baby Cakes won't have anypony to play with!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE."

Twilight's face froze into an enormous grin of pure joy.

"...Uhhhh...Twilight, are you okay?"

"What? Okay? No, I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine! I'll see you at Sugarcube Corner tomorrow, Pinkie. Byeee!"

The door shut.

"Huh," the pink pony said. "...What just happened?"

Author's Note:

Oh boy this is getting fun. :P This oddly didn't take me quite as long to write as the last chapter, even though it's more-or-less the same, word-count-wise. I guess my inspiration is as sporadic when I'm writing fiction as when I'm writing music. :P (And believe me, it is.)

And yep, as I foresaw, I definitely struggled with the pronouns in places. Consarn it all. :P

Thanks so very much for all the tracks and watches, everypony! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The story shall continue...

Revelations

Fluttershy twisted and turned in her bed. She was unable to get into a position that provided any sort of comfort, although this was the same bed she'd had for a number of years now, that had allowed her many a comfortable, stress-free night's sleep.

She was all wound up, and on the edge. Terrified. Her sleep disturbed by her restless mind. Petrified.

She could swear she was having a panic attack.

A sea of disastrous thoughts swam through her mind. So many things could go wrong tomorrow. What if she couldn't finish the dress on time like she promised? What if Applejack decided not to show up at the last minute? What if Fluttershy couldn't attend to her animals at a critical moment? What if a patient died on her?

She chewed on a hoof nervously, her body quaking under the duvet. She shut her eyes tight and commanded her brain to allow her some shuteye... well, that is... if it wouldn't mind and it wasn't too much trouble.

On top of all this, the conversation she'd had less than an hour ago with Twilight and Rarity, after she'd got back to the library, was gnawing away at her conscience.

She was a liar.

"Oh, Fluttershy, darling, thank Celestia you're back! How's the damage to... my beautiful boutique?"
"It's... not... too bad."

Liar.

"So did my dress for the Grand Galloping Gala survive intact?"
"Ummm... yes."

Liar.

"Why, that means you should be able to get it done well before time, then!"
"Well, yes, of course, Rarity!"

Pants on fire.

Darn it, stop thinking about fire. It had been bad enough seeing that inferno raging when it had first started, let alone fretting over how Rarity was coping with it.

Poor Rarity - was she going to be alright in the morning? Well, she'd seemed alright as Fluttershy left - almost joyous, in fact - but then of course she wasn't aware of the reality of the situation.

And the reality was very uncomfortable for the timid yellow pegasus. Fluttershy had spared her friend's feelings (and possibly sanity), but with an outright lie - was it the noble thing to have done? She had completely committed herself to finishing the dress now, and there was no backing out. Under normal circumstances, she'd be completely happy to help out Rarity in times of distress like this - she was one of her best friends in the whole wide world, after all, and Rarity, being as generous as she was, wouldn't dream of asking anything in return.

But, her animals. There were so many of them that needed urgent love and attention.

She told herself to relax - she was absolved of those responsibilities for just a day or two... maybe three. Applejack was taking care of it all, anyway. But she couldn't relax. Since when was leaving your post - for however long, and regardless of the circumstances - something to be proud of?

And worst of all, what if something went wrong in her absence?

She looked over at the checklist she'd left for Applejack by her bed. She and Angel had spent several hours compiling and revising it for the earth pony's perusal for the next three days so she'd know exactly what she had to do. Then, after it was all done, Fluttershy had insisted that they amend it to account for an excess two days, in case Rarity unexpectedly remained confined to Twilight's library for a bit longer. It was a big list - a long, coiled-up parchment propped up against the wall, almost threatening in its sheer girth. Fluttershy felt a ripple of anxiety crawl up her spine again. What if she'd asked too much of the earth pony and she couldn't do it all? But hang on, this was Applejack - the loyalest and most dependable of ponies. Fluttershy cursed herself for not having faith in her friend's ability to help out.

"Oh, dear. I'm a terrible friend..."

"Sugarcube! Are you in there?"

Fluttershy peeked out from under the covers. Wait, where did all this light come from?

She swung a glance over towards her alarm clock.

7:10am?! Oh, gosh. She'd overslept.

"Coming, Applejack!"

Ten minutes prior...

A small white cloud floated gently above the ground, just in front of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was just exiting the house through the front door, when she spotted it floating towards the house.

It seemed odd for a cloud to be sitting there, that low in the sky. It also didn't seem to be drifting at a constant rate. It looked more as though it was being pushed by something that didn't quite have the strength to do it. Every two seconds or so, it shifted a small distance through the sky towards the Sweet Apple Acres ranch, accompanied by what sounded like an exhausted grunt, each time.

Applejack giggled to herself. She knew who this was.

"Rainbow? Is that you?" she called out to it as she made her way to meet up with it.

The cloud stopped moving for a few seconds. Then, further grunts arose from it, except now the cloud lowered itself towards the earth by a few inches each time. Applejack moved closer to it, unable to repress a smile of amusement, and peered upwards to see Rainbow Dash punching the cloud with both forelegs to make it float downward.

"Mornin', Applejack," the pegasus yawned, continuing to half-heartedly punch at the cloud until it eventually drifted only a few feet above the ground, bringing her more-or-less level with Applejack's smiling face.

"Well, a mighty fine mornin' to you too, RD!"

"Applejack. I. Am. So. Tired." Rainbow Dash flopped around and dangled a hoof over the edge of the cloud.

"So what is this, exactly?" the earth pony smirked. "Did you come to work in... uh, your bed?"

"No. I wish."

Rainbow Dash rolled off the cloud and collapsed ungracefully to the ground, her eyes heavy.

"Wakey wakey, now," Applejack chuckled. "Today's a big day for the both of us."

"That's what I'm afraid of," the pegasus replied in a raspy, unenthused voice.

"Now don't you worry. Ah'm sure Big Mac will fetch you some coffee or somethin'," the applebucking pony continued, "And if Apple Bloom's around, she'll help you out with the harvestin', but ah don't think she came back last night, so she's probably camped out with her little buddies in the clubhouse."

Applejack peered down to see Rainbow Dash's eyes had glazed over, and were drifting slowly apart from one another.

"Aaaanyway, I gotta skedaddle. Fluttershy needs me at her house. See ya later, Rainbow."

"*snoooore*"

Applejack laughed quietly to herself, then, with a powerful kick, bucked Rainbow's cloud back into the sky, and set off in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage.

Twilight ran a hoof sleepily through her mane, and was dismayed to see that a number of strands of hair from it had come loose and were now resting on her pillow. Groggily, she got up, brushed her pillow, and trudged over to her bedside mirror.

Her mane really was a mess. But she and Spike had spent a lot of time last night consoling and looking after Rarity, and they had all gone to bed a bit later than usual. She hoped that her unicorn friend would be okay this morning, but then she remembered that she still had to tell her and Spike that she was helping Pinkie Pie all day. Her horn illuminating, she sighed and took hold of a brush with its magic, and, waving it at her reflection in the mirror, told herself to stop worrying and confront today's challenges with a brave fac—

"GYAHH!!"

A shrill scream from beside her almost made her leap out of her skin. Twilight's body shot a good five feet up in the air, which unfortunately meant that the top of her head collided with the ceiling.

"R...Rarity...?"

The dizzied unicorn looked at the bed opposite her own, and tried to focus on the three blurry blobs of white lying in it. Of course, it could only be Rarity - after all, that scream was a trademark of hers.

"Are... are you okay?" Twilight said as she shook her head, returning her vision.

Panting heavily, Rarity replied, "Yes, Twilight, I'm fine. Honest. I just had a... nasty dream."

"...Care to talk about it?"

"Okay..."

Twilight sat down on Rarity's bed and looked at her friend with a reassuring face, who was sitting bolt upright and still evidently reeling from the shock.

"What's the matter, Rarity?"

"I dreamt I was being chased by a giant pig."

Twilight's expression of gentle consolation exploded into one of uncontrollable laughter.

"TWILIGHT!"

"Would you two keep it down?" moaned the voice of a sleepy baby dragon from the basket beside the two beds.

"I'm... haha... I'm so sorry, Rarity... haha... I wasn't laughing at you... haha, wooooo..." Twilight replied, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye. "It's just... dreams are silly sometimes, you know?"

"I didn't find it funny," Rarity grumbled, sulkily folding her front legs. "It felt so... real."

"Well, it's all over now. No pigs around here! I'll just go and fix us some breakfast. Spike, you coming?"

A reluctant groan came from under Spike's blanket. "Coming, Twi... just give me five more minutes."

"Come on, sleepyhead," said Twilight impatiently, levitating Spike's entire basket down and into the kitchen.

"Oh, speaking of sleepyheads," Rarity piped up, stifling a giggle and pointing a hoof at Twilight's mane. "Give it a brush, my darling."

Twilight took hold of a clump of her mane and inspected it.

"Oh, right."

Fluttershy swooped down in front of the Town Hall in the center of Ponyville, carrying Angel Bunny on her back. It was a peaceful early morning, with only a few other ponies going about their business. Woozily, she brushed another flake of sleep from her eyes and yawned heavily. She was not quite feeling up to speed this morning, that much was clear - just the journey to this point of the village from her cottage had exhausted all of her wings' energy. She started to walk in the direction of Rarity's house when she heard a cheerful but concerned voice calling out to her from across the street.

"Fluttershy, my dear! You look awful!"

The voice belonged to Aloe, one of the Ponyville beauticians, who was making her way towards the spa, which at this time of the day would only just be opening.

"Oh, hello there, Aloe. I know, I... I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Hmm. That's not good for your skin, you know," the pink pony called out again over her flank. "I will run you a nice hot bubble bath back at the spa, ja? We'll clear out some of those wrinkles for you."

"Oh, thank you, but I'm gonna be busy all day, unfortunately. As soon as I get some spare time, though, I'll stop by! Promise!"

"Alright, my dear," the spa pony said, continuing on her way.

Fluttershy sighed. A stop-off at the spa sounded so good right about now, but one without her best friend Rarity alongside her would be incomplete... not to mention selfish of her. Anyway, she had to start on Twilight's dress right away - any number of minutes wasted meant that the possibility of disappointing Rarity grew ever stronger. She let herself in with the key her unicorn friend had lent her the previous night, and, seeing that no one was home, fluttered upstairs.

Yep, the studio was still a wreck, just the way she'd left it. At least it seemed fairly dry now.

"Now, where to begin?"

Fluttershy saw no other thing to do at this point than to turn everything in the room upside-down in a bid to locate everything she needed to get the dress remade in as little time as possible.

"Alright Angel, check those drawers over there while I rake through this cabinet!"

The rabbit nodded and obediently scurried off. For the next 20 minutes or so, Fluttershy and Angel went around the whole room, opening every cupboard, every drawer, every little compartment she could find. Fluttershy didn't like doing this to Rarity's impeccably organized studio, but she promised herself (and by extension, Rarity) that she'd put everything back exactly as she found it.

Eventually, she found and memorized where Rarity kept all of her dressmaking supplies and supplements, also uncovered a roll of parchment containing an extremely detailed design of Twilight's dress for the gala. She was ready to begin.

Well, in one respect that was true. She'd been steeling herself for this moment all last night, so she was emotionally prepared. But she was not quite... ready. As she'd raked through the studio, it had gradually dawned on her that there just wasn't the right amount of resources to get it done exactly as planned. The beautifully shiny fabric Rarity had used to create much of the dress was in direly short supply, and the rest of the colors only seemed to be available in randomly-sized slices.

"This... is bad."

She went over to the stand which held the design for the dress, and she examined it thoroughly and intently. For several minutes. It was a pointless endeavor - none of these markings meant anything to her. A large number of incredibly precise annotations all pointed to various points on the dress, but these were not dressmaking terms, she was quite sure.

What in Equestria was a "capricornus"?

Fluttershy remained headstrong, but had to release a deep sigh of regret. She was almost certain that she was doomed to failure at this point, but she simply had to keep her promise to Rarity, and present her with the best possible substitute dress she could make, however long it took her, or however much she had to improvise with the limited resources at her disposal. It was absolutely imperative that Rarity did not gain an inkling of suspicion that this was not the same dress.

There was no going back now. This had to be done here and now.

The plucky young pegasus put a brave face on. "Time to get this started."

Pinkie Pie took the key in her mouth and carefully opened the cellar door with it. Gingerly, she trotted down the steps into a dark, musty basement. The place was a mess. Sacks of flour and sugar were strewn all about the place. An old wooden table lay in the middle of it, full of dents and grazes, several assorted baking utensils on top of it.

Walking towards the farthest wall, which seemed be the only wall in the basement not completely obscured by various crates and sacks, she moved a small box to reveal a tiny red button embedded in the wall.

"Time to break out the big guns."

She moved her hoof over the button and pressed it firmly. Almost immediately there was a great rumbling, as the wall in front her began to shift slowly to one side. A great deal of dirt was blown up from this, and Pinkie held her nose, spluttering a bit, but continuing to grin knowingly at what was happening in front of her.

Eventually the wall had pulled completely back, revealing another whole room behind it. In the center of this room was a strange contraption - it appeared at first glance to be a kind of bicycle, but it was evidently much more than that - from the rear end of it rose a large pole fashioned into a candy-cane, and a fancy propeller adorned the top of it.

A wide grin spread across Pinkie Pie's faces as she rubbed her front hooves together gleefully, then moved over to a corner of the room where a large string lay attached to ceiling. Pulling on the string with their mouth, she opened the ceiling of the room up, revealing it to be a kind of trap door beside the bakery. The two wooden doors creaked open, flooding the dark room with daylight. Pinkie Pie bounced into the seat of the contraption, resting her hooves on the two sets of pedals attached to it.

Biting her lip and focusing as much of her energy into her legs as possible, she started pedalling - faster and faster until her legs became a complete blur. The blades on top of the device rotated rapidly until they started generating a great deal of noise and air current.

"PINKIECOPTER, AWAY!"

With a swift movement of her right foreleg, Pinkie kicked at the mechanism holding her flying machine to the ground, which activated the springboard beneath the device and sent her flying into the air.

"Whoah-oh-oh-oh!"

Still pedalling, she climbed higher into the sky, above Sugarcube Corner... and above Ponyville.

"Now, off to Cloudsdale!"

An elderly pony resting on a bench in the center of the Ponyville park caught sight of this bizarre contraption as it sailed into the clouds. He rubbed his glasses and stared up again.

"Consarn it! First I see pigs fly, and now bicycles. Did I take my pills this morning?"

Taking hold of his pair of binoculars, he focused on the object as it rose further towards the heavens, to see that it was being piloted by an excited pink pony.

"Oh... it's just Pinkie Pie," said Mr Waddle, as he sat back down on his bench, falling asleep.

"Come on Rarity, breakfast is ready!" Twilight Sparkle called out.

"Twilight, are you serious? I am not having toast in bed. The crumbs go simply everywhere and ruin one's coat, darling."

Twilight rolled her eyes. She'd almost forgotten how obsessive Rarity was about the state of her looks. "Well then, come on down!"

A pink and purple aura engulfed Rarity, and lifted her from under the covers. She resisted this at first, but soon realized that it was a futile effort. She floated gently through the air, forelegs folded in silent protest, as Twilight guided her from the bed on the top floor to the dining table in the kitchen, seating her comfortably at the spare place. Rarity frowned, obviously not best pleased at having essentially been puppeteered to the table by her friend.

"I was just starting to feel warm in that bed," she whined, crossing her front legs and pouting.

"It's alright Rarity," Twilight replied warmly, "you can go right on back to bed when you've finished. Tea?"

"Oh... well, now that you've asked, yes, please."

Twilight lifted two cups of herbal tea from the workshelf with her magic, and handed one to Rarity, placing the other by her plate. "So, how are you feeling today?" she inquired.

"Better, I suppose," Rarity replied simply.

"Good. Just remember that Spike and I will be—" Suddenly she hesitated. Rarity picked up on this and looked her dead in the eyes, waiting impatiently for her to finish her sentence.

"...That Spike will be here for you if you need anything."

Spike, who had been busy scarfing down his toast noisily, suddenly realized that he was the subject of the conversation, and hadn't really been fully aware of what exactly had been uttered prior to this point. He found himself switching his gaze between the two unicorns in a helpless bid to catch up.

"Uh, me?" was all he managed, with a mouthful of toast.

"Well, yes, Spike... you're going to be here all day, right?"

Spike, confused as to whether he was being interrogated or not, darted his eyes back and forth. "Uh... yeah? That's usually the plan on a Saturday."

"Twilight."

Both sets of eyes shifted to Rarity.

"Are you trying to tell me - us - that you're... not going to be here today?"

"I'm afraid so, Rarity. I need to be out all day. Possibly for the next three days straight."

Rarity stared at Twilight. Her brain started to attempt to process all of the implications of this statement. Eventually her mouth fell open, but nothing escaped it. Her face simply bore a very confused and unsure look.

In turn, Spike stared at Rarity, also unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Buh... muh... me... and Rar... buh... guuhhh?"

"Please understand me, here!" Twilight said in an attempt to break the confusion. "I too thought I'd be looking after you all day like a good friend would, Rarity - until late last night. The thing is that Pinkie Pie urgently needs me at Sugarcube Corner."

"Pinkie Pie? Why?"

"Well, I don't recall that she said 'why' specifically. Just that..."

Twilight consulted her memory. The only thing that Pinkie had really said to win her over was the fact that there were two incredibly adorable babies at that shop who desperately needed a playmate. In hindsight, it seemed a rather stupid reason to leave Spike and Rarity alone in the library, but she'd already committed herself to helping out at Sugarcube Corner for at least the next three days, and there was no doubt that Pinkie Pie would descend on her like a ton of bricks if she disappointed.

"...It was pretty urgent," she finally settled on.

"Oh, dear. I hope the poor dear's alright."

"Oh, well, she seemed fine yesterday. I guess she's just busy with something else."

"Pinkie Pie? Busy? You'd be hard-pressed to overwork that pink little sugar freak."

Twilight giggled at this, for it was a very true remark, but then she became aware that while she and Rarity had been conversing, Spike had appeared to be... behaving rather strangely. He was standing on his chair, breathing deeply, staring at Rarity and... was that drool?

"Spike," she said sharply.

Spike's wide eyes shifted her way, but not one other part of his stance changed.

"Eat your toast. It's getting cold."

Of course, Twilight thought to herself, rolling her eyes again, this is exactly how he'd react to this situation.

Inside a small wooden clubhouse, two tired, thoroughly depressed fillies lay opposite each other, sprawled out on the floor in sleeping bags. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had spent the entire night in the clubhouse, rather than gone home to bed, because Sweetie Belle didn't want to see Rarity in case she was there and in no fit state to chat, or indeed go off to an empty house if she wasn't there. Apple Bloom, meanwhile, had offered to accommodate Sweetie Belle in the clubhouse in the middle of the Sweet Apple Acres orchard. Applejack would know where she was, anyway - although facing her big sister was not something that Apple Bloom was particularly looking forward to doing today.

It was still quite early in the morning, and the sunlight streaming through the clubhouse window woke the two fillies up. They yawned, rubbed their eyes and looked at each other.

"Good mornin', Sweetie."
"Good morning, Apple Bloom."

A silence then filled the clubhouse, as neither of them found anything more to contribute to the conversation. They both knew it was far from a good morning, anyway.

Eventually, a small scooter pulled up beside the clubhouse, and a young orange pegasus disembarked from it, and flew in through the open window. "Hey, guys," she said in a groggy tone.

"Hey, Scoot," the other two fillies chorused drearily.

"My parents did ask about this," she said, pointing a hoof to her colorless mane. "I said it was a harmless dare to paint my mane silver, and that the color would come back with enough washing. They didn't ask too many questions after that."

"Mmhmm."
"Okay."

The other two fillies seemed awfully untalkative. Scootaloo sighed and spoke up to break the silence. "I know what you guys are thinking. I feel the same way about it - I still can't believe that we trashed Rarity's boutique. Single-hoofedly!"

"I think you mean twelve-hoofedly, Scoot," Sweetie Belle corrected.

"Huh?" the pegasus asked, utterly confused.

The unicorn filly indicated herself, then her other two friends in turn. "Four. Four. Four."

"Oh, right... whatever. Gimme a break, I'm sleep-deprived."

There was a pause.

"So do we all agree that we didn't git a good night's sleep, last night?" asked Apple Bloom.

"Yep."
"Hear, hear."

"I couldn't stop thinking about what damage we've done to Ponyville," said Scootaloo sorrowfully.

"Ah couldn't stop thinking about that pig and what Applejack's gonna think when she finds out what we did to it," Apple Bloom despaired.

"I couldn't stop thinking about my sister. Sounds like she's taking this whole thing pretty hard," Sweetie Belle said in a tone full of remorse. She sighed, then, looking up at the other two fillies, paused for a moment, almost as though for dramatic effect.

"I think we should own up."

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo immediately looked up at the filly, with faces full of awe.

"...Are you nuts, Sweetie?" Apple Bloom eventually stammered. "Remember our last punishment for tamperin' with forces unknown? The whole 'Cheerilee and Big Mac' hubbub? It'll be like that, only so much worse! We'll be, like, consigned to work on the farm... foreverrr!"

"Yeah, and I'm not a physical pony at all," Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle cocked her head to one side at this odd remark. "But... Scoot, you're always on your scooter doing tricks and that."

"I mean manual labor, and all that icky stuff! I don't do that."

Apple Bloom frowned. Scootaloo had certainly been working on her imitations of Rainbow Dash.

"Well, we might have to," she said to both of her friends. "Ah'm finding mahself agreein' with Sweetie Belle. There's no point in draggin' this on for longer than it needs to go. Rarity's already lost her marbles over it."

"No! Wait!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "I think we can sort this out without getting slammed with a punishment, so hear me out. We just have to take the middle ground here."

"What's that?" asked Apple Bloom.

"You know, acting neutral. Look here, we weren't to know that our magic potion would turn that pig into a firecracker. Or that it would fly through Rarity's window and wreck her studio. Don't you see? We're not the bad guys in all this! We can't be held responsible!"

"Yes, we can," Sweetie Belle retorted bluntly.

"Let me get to my point, Sweetie! This whole incident was borne out of terrible luck more than anything else. We just need to act as though we're gonna help the other ponies put the pieces of this puzzle together."

"Ah dunno. Sounds dishonest to me, and if either of our sisters find out that we knew all along, we'll get somethin' even worse for sure!" Apple Bloom fell to the floor facefirst in despair.

"It's worth a try, I promise! I've gotten out of messes like this before, this way!"

"Oh yeah? Like when?" Apple Bloom interrogated.

Before Scootaloo could respond, a squeak of horror came from the corner of the clubhouse.

Sweetie Belle was holding the copy of Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions they'd borrowed from Twilight Sparkle, and was reading from the page spread they'd had open during the experiment yesterday.

"Sweetie?" Apple Bloom asked anxiously.

"Guys... we've goofed. Bad," came the reply.

The shaking unicorn turned the tome around in her hooves to show it to her two friends. On the left-hand page of the spread was a list of ingredients for a "temporary petrification" potion. Below it was a fairly innocuous-looking box of text, which, on close inspection, read (in very small print):

"Warning: Allow ingredients to settle for four hours in separate containers - combine them only after this length of time has passed, or your results could vary dramatically. See Ingredient Index for the potions and spells this same list of ingredients can create when treated differently."

They frantically turned towards the end of the book, and Sweetie Belle started scanning the long list of ingredients mentioned throughout the book for everything they'd used in the experiment yesterday.

"Ah think ah know where this might be going," mumbled a nervous Apple Bloom.

"There." Sweetie Belle pointed a hoof to the list under "dragon's sneeze", where she'd located a page reference for an "instant firework" potion.

"Instant firework?!" Scootaloo repeated out loud.

Sweetie Belle finally found the page and read from the top paragraph.

"With this concoction, turn everyday objects into beautifully explosive fireworks. Be sure to ensure object is inanimate and angled towards a clear patch of sky to ensure minimal property damage. Coat object with concoction, stand back, and watch in awe as it shoots upward into the air at high speed, before exploding gloriously in the night sky above."

Her heart almost stopped as she encountered, and read out, the final disclaimer: "Do not, on any account, use on living things."

All three ponies slumped to the floor, the pieces of the jigsaw all falling neatly into place.

"Now how exactly is this goin' to help us take the 'middle hill' in all this, Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked. "We know exactly how this whole thing went down! Let's just own up and end this whole ruckus right here."

"No way! I am absolutely not spending the next forever bucking apples on your farm, Apple Bloom!"

"Well, it might not be so bad," the filly said, trying to unearth some sort of silver lining to the whole situation. "We'd be spendin' a lot of time together, at least."

"I'm gonna be part of the Wonderbolts one day! Tell me, how many applebucking ponies got onto the Wonderbolts' team?"

Well, none obviously, Apple Bloom's expression read.

"Guys, let's focus here!" called out Sweetie Belle. "We can worry about our punishment when it comes, but right now I think we should set things straight. Let's own up to what we did, and let's start off by returning this book and that stupid chemistry set to Twilight Sparkle."

"Agreed," said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let loose a heavy sigh. "Alright. Let's do this, you guys."

Author's Note:

Whew. This chapter went through many changes before I finally called it done. A lot of the events that originally took place within it featured more of the CMCs, but they have now been moved to the next chapter, because I wanted to focus on the Mane Six for this one.

Hopefully I didn't completely ruin the flow of this chapter with all my rearrangements and revisions. Don't worry, the next chapter should feature plenty of silliness as Mane Six get "settled" into their new roles. :P Hope you guys are still enjoying it! Chapter 4 should hopefully not end up quite so complicated.

Initiation

Big Macintosh stared down at the inanimate body before him. All four of its hooves were sprawled out in an undignified fashion, the mouth was wide open and producing a large amount of noise (not to mention drool), and the face was listless and vacant.

"Uh... Miss Dash?" He gave the slumbering mare a soft poke with a hoof.

Rainbow Dash stirred, very softly at first, emitting a strange throaty noise that sounded somewhat akin to a frog gargling gravel. Then, as she rolled over, a snore got caught in her throat and she spluttered herself back into the real world.

"Whuh... huh?"

"Miss Dash, are you alright there?"

"Uhh... yeah. I think." She blinked heavily. "Any idea what I'm doin' lying on the ground?"

"Nnnope."

Rainbow Dash slowly got up and stood uneasily on her hooves, wobbling to and fro a bit, as her head was still swimming and her mind not yet fully awake. She looked around, and noticed where she was.

"So I'm at Sweet Apple Acres."

"Eeyup. Ah believe yer helpin' us out on th' farm today."

"Oooh. Yyyyyeah," Rainbow Dash stammered, rubbing her eyes. "Right."

She thought for a moment and stared up at the sky, with the morning sun bright and vivid but still quite low, and then looked at Big Macintosh. "Uh, what time is it?"

"'Bout 7:30 in th' morning, ma'am."

"Ugh!" the pegasus growled, stomping about angrily. "Normally I'd still be asleep for at least another two hours! Why do earth ponies have to be up so early?" She sat down and stared up in the direction of her home in Cloudsdale, where her lovely comfortable bed was.

Big Mac didn't feel the need to reply to this - Dash was clearly just having a good vent.

"Coffee?"

The pegasus turned to him and smiled sheepishly. "Umm... if you wouldn't mind. Thanks."

As Big Macintosh went back inside, Rainbow Dash muttered something about deeply regretting to do this favor under her breath, and kicked half-heartedly at the ground. She felt deeply embarrassed that she was in such a state in the first place. She remembered how she was ordinarily an extremely athletic and energetic young pony, the number of times she napped during the day notwithstanding - those were "power naps", anyway, and she had to conform to a strict napping routine to keep her energy level consistent throughout the day. Even so, she was more than a little dismayed that waking up just a measly two hours before normal had thrown her internal clock into protest, for she was at this point hardly able to keep her eyelids open, let alone walk in a reasonably straight line.

Come on, it's only early morning yet, she told herself. You've got plenty of time to wake up and then you can spend the whole day smashing trees up. It's gonna be awesome.

She swayed awkwardly, and then toppled over and fell into an open trash can, which fell to the ground and spilt its contents over her.

The commotion brought Big Mac outside again.

"You alright there, Miss Dash?"

A light blue hoof waved weakly from beneath the wreckage, but the rest of Rainbow Dash's body remained stationary underneath the pile of detritus. "I'm fine, just... make my coffee a strong one, Big Mac," came an echoey but muffled reply.

"Eeyup."

Rainbow detected an urge to go back to sleep in her current posture, but felt her sense of dignity (not to mention the smell coming from the bottom of the trash can) overpowering it. She slowly picked herself up, reeling backwards from the stench of the trashcan, and followed Applejack's brother into the house. Rainbow Dash found a seat in the kitchen while Big Mac set about filling up the kettle.

"Soooo... uhhhh..." She tried to distract herself from how tired she was by starting off a conversation.

"Eeyup?"

"Is it, like, hard work for you on the farm, 'round this time of year?"

"Eeyup."

"Like, really hard work?"

"Eeyup."

"No kidding? ...Do you get tired of doing the work, like really easily?"

"Eeeeee...nope."

"Then it's not a big deal for you."

"Nnnope."

...

"Huh. So... you must do a different job to Applejack's."

"Eeyup."

"Do you get much help from her?"

"Nnnope."

"She kinda just does her own thing, right?"

"Eeyup."

"Well, that's cool I guess."

"Yup."

Rainbow Dash gave a low sigh. That had been a rather lackluster conversation. She folded her forelegs and rested her head on the table... and soon started snoring again.

"Uh... Miss Dash?"

"Alright, you little critters, enough's enough!" Applejack shouted over the chaotic din of a hundred or so animals clustered all around her.

A squirrel hopped onto her back and ran off with her Stetson.

"Hey, gimme that back you thievin' varmint!"

She shook her hooves to dispell a fleet of mice that were worming their way up her legs.

"Git away from me you furry freaks!"

She swatted at the air in front of her hoof, repelling an army of hungry hovering hummingbirds.

"How does Fluttershy put up with you critters," she muttered through clenched teeth, pulling off a stoat that was clinging to the back of her neck and staring it in the face.

The stoat stared back.

Applejack intensified her stare.

The stoat began swaying its upper body to and fro.

"What in tarnation?"

Applejack found herself swaying in concordence with the animal's hypnotic movement.

"Uh... hey! Ah dunno what you're doing, you furry little fleabag, but cut it out!"

A matter of seconds passed.

"Ah said cut it out you no good—"

Applejack's demand was cut short by a stoat pouncing at her face.

"Ow! Ooh! Ah! Cut it— ah! You fleabitten— Argh! Land sakes— Ow! Sweet Celestia make it stop!"

Swatting madly and blindly, the earth pony finally managed to prise the raucous rodent from her now thoroughly scratched head. Out of clawing range, the animal spat and growled at her in frustration, and she returned this display with a dry expression.

"Ah think that's quite enough of that, don't you?" She tossed the animal to the ground and pinned it down with a hoof.

"Now all'a y'all listen the buck up!" she bellowed, stamping her other front hoof as loud as she could, making the floorboards quake and giving the stoat a thoroughly nasty headache. Suddenly the assortment of hyperactive furry critters swarming around her immediately halted their assault, and arranged themselves in a neat little perimeter around the room, standing to attention, and trembling in awe. The birds made themselves scarce, retreating back into their respective cages and houses, with the rest opting to perch as far above Applejack as could be managed.

"That's better," she stated in an infinitely calmer tone. Without looking down, she released the stoat from beneath her foreleg, and it squeaked, scurrying into a corner between a shrew and a squirrel.

Applejack spoke loudly and clearly, pacing around the edge of the room and eyeing the animals intensely as she did so, adopting the best "drill sergeant" persona she could muster.

"Now, y'all should know full well who ah am. Ah trust that Fluttershy gave you all clear instructions that ah am to be your, shall we say substitute carer for the next few days while she's off on some oth'r business. Ah'm expecting y'all to make this as easy for me as possible, and ah will do my darnedest to make it easy f'r you in return. If y'all cooperate with me, you'll find me a considerate carer. But don't you dare cross me, 'cause unlike a certain primrose pegasus, ah will not be pushed around! Is that crystal clear?"

Frantic nods all around.

"Good. You will treat me with EXACTLY the same degree of respect that you pay Miss Fluttershy."

Applejack sighed, satisfied with this speech, and picked up her hat from the floor. She began walking purposely towards a bag of food pellets beside the fireplace, failing to catch that a number of the animals were all exchanging thoughtful looks.

"Now, feedin' time," she called, leaning forward to open the bag of food. She was immediately assailed again by a full-on flurry of famished furry animals.

"Oh, ponyfeathers."

Pinkie Pie climbed higher and higher in her strange flying machine. As she ascended, she felt a chill bite down on her coat, getting gradually more prevalent until she couldn't help but shiver, even under the sweat she was working up from all the pedalling.

She increased the speed of her hooves' rotation, and sped on, drifting ever higher into the sky, and finally into a large mass of puffy whiteness.

Minuscule drops of precipitation covered every inch of her coat as she rushed upwards into the wispy cloud covers above Equestria, and her frantic pedalling eventually brought her in view of the beautiful vista of the sprawling skybound city of Cloudsdale.

"Oh my Celestia... it's full of clouds!" the party pony exclaimed joyously, a huge smile slowly spreading across her face, and her widening, awestruck eyes reflecting the entirety of the sweeping skybound cityscape.

Pinkie continued pedalling, humming merrily as she did so, and sailing past a multitude of buildings, ranging from simple cloud cottages to immense, elaborate, cathedralesque buildings with elegant and majestic cloud-forged facades. A large number of pegasus ponies she passed by regarded her with some degree of alarm at her being an earth pony flying almost effortlessly through the city, complete with a bizarre contraption to assist her.

"Is... that... Pinkie Pie?" a marigold pegasus asked.

"This will not end well," her turquoise friend returned.

A construction worker stallion operating a gas-powered drill caught sight of her and stared upwards, mesmerized.

"Woah, check out that gizmo, Al."

"For Pete's sake, Arnie, are you honestly that easily distracted?!" said his cohort, as his power tool plummeted to the earth below.

The pink earth pony continued to pedal, drifting over the group of three workhorses. The rotating propeller of her Pinkiecopter whirled audibly, a sweeping current of air following in its wake.

"Hi, guys!" Pinkie Pie waved cheerfully to the trio of pegasi beneath her.

"Oh, no..."

As Pinkie Pie swept overhead, still humming happily away, the wind generated by her flying machine created a force strong enough to send the vaporous masonry sailing away into the clouds on its foundations.

"That earth pony girl is a living disaster," muttered Vince, the slate grey construction pony, as Arnie flew in pursuit of the runaway building.

Al hid his eyes in his hooves and collapsed to the cloud.

"Hey, you guys wouldn't know where the weather factory is, would you?" came a voice from above him as the wind and noise suddenly returned. Al peeked up to see a beaming, pink, frizzy-haired earth pony looking down at him from the seat of her contraption.

"YEAH IT'S THAT WAY JUST KEEP FOLLOWING THE ROADSIGNS," yelled Al above the clamor of Pinkie's whirlygig.

"OKAY, THANKS!" she yelled back, and nonchalantly carried on her way.

The construction worker pony picked himself up, and looked on, shaking his head solemnly. "That pony will be the undoing of us all..."

"...Sorry, guys, I'd better get that." Twilight excused herself from the breakfast table, and trotted towards to the front door to answer the series of knocks that had come from behind it.

"No worries, Twilight," Rarity called out.

Spike said nothing. Instead, he munched on his toast pensively, allowing his brain to process and digest what the unicorn had said as they had sat down. Twilight Sparkle was going to be gone for three days straight, leaving him and Rarity to look after the library. He considered how library life would be so different to the usual daily routine of the fashionista unicorn's normally hectic schedule... and how he'd have to spend hours acclimatizing her to the job.

On his own.

It's alright, Spike, the young dragon said to himself in his head. You can do this. It doesn't need to be a huge undertaking, or awkward, for that matter. Rarity's smart - on top of being beautiful—

She was undoubtedly the most gorgeous unicorn in all of Equestria.

—so she'll warm to it instantly. Oh, crud! It's been ten seconds and neither of us have said a word! Agh! Awk-ward! Gotta break the silence! Somehow! Anyhow!

"So... Rarity..." Spike began.

Rarity sipped her tea.

Spike stumbled on his words, and struggled to re-establish a synergetic connection between mind and mouth. "Have... you... ever run a library before?"

"No."

Well, what a great conversation that was. Nice going, Captain Suave.

Meanwhile, Twilight had opened the front door, and at the doorstep of the library were three young fillies, two of whom were sitting in a little cart attached to the other's scooter. All three were smiling up at her, "innocently".

"Hi, Twilight! We're here to give you this back," Scootaloo said, and Apple Bloom presented Twilight Sparkle with a box neatly packed with the disassembled junior chemistry set.

"Oh, thanks so much, girls! I hope you enjoyed using it. Did you do anything cool or special with it?"

The three fillies exchanged panicked looks.

"Yeah."
"No."
"Maybe!"

Their simultaneous responses confounded the librarian.

"That is... we kinda did," said Scootaloo. "But..."

"It was cool doing it an' all, but... it didn't exactly turn out okay," said Apple Bloom.

"We definitely don't think potion-brewing is our special talent," said Sweetie Belle, this statement affirmed by the other two fillies shaking their heads.

"Aww, that's too bad," said Twilight. "What happened, if I may ask?"

"We..."
"Uhhh..."
"It was..."

The three fillies all turned to one another again in desperation, as if to somehow help them come to a collective - and, more importantly, non-alarming - answer. This was it. They'd have to own up now or never.

"Sweetie Belle? Is that you?"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all inhaled sharply as their hearts nearly leapt out of their chests. They stared at each other in horror, all having recognized that voice instantly.

Twilight turned her head over her flank and called out to the kitchen, from which the voice had originated.

"Yes, Rarity, she's here, along with her friends."

A white blur zipped past her and almost knocked the little white unicorn filly to the ground with a powerful embrace.

"Oh, Sweetie! Oh, my dear Sweetie Belle! Are you alright? Did you know about the fire? I'm so sorry I didn't see you after it happened yesterday! I should've gone looking for you to make sure you were alright! Oh, I'm a terrible sister, please forgive me, oh please oh please oh please oh please!"

Sweetie Belle looked at her sister. What was she doing here? Her mane was a mess, and her face seemed even paler than usual. Her eyes looked bloated and twitchy from a lack of beauty sleep, and at this point were almost overflowing at the long-overdue sight of her sister again. She was clearly a wreck.

"I'm fine, Rarity. What are you doing here so early?"

"Twilight kindly took me in. Apparently I fainted when it happened because I don't remember her bringing me here." But fainting was not ladylike at all, Rarity thought, so she changed the subject. "But enough about me, Sweetie, where in Celestia's name have you been?"

The filly thought for a moment.

"Oh! Well, if you've been here since last night, then that explains why you weren't there when I got home!" she said.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at her. Did Sweetie Belle just... lie?

In response to this, Sweetie Belle fixed her two friends with a look that suggested that owning up to their mistake at this point would only make the situation much, much, worse, what with Rarity in her current state.

"Y'know, 'cause I went home and you... weren't there. Wait, there was a fire? Oh, gosh. Really?! Perish the thought. You're alright, aren't you? I'm fine. I... um... slept in the Crusader clubhouse with Apple Bloom for the night. 'Cause... you weren't home."

The other two Crusaders looked back at each other with looks of absolute confusion and agitation, but neither one was able to say anything aloud.

Rarity's gaze turned to Applejack's younger sister, and smiled, rubbing the filly's head affectionately. "Oh, how positively sweet of you, darling." Then she scooped up her own little sister in a tight hug, and kissed her repeatedly on the head.

"Oh, Sweetie Belle," she said again, "I am honestly so glad to see you. Come, let's go and eat. Twilight and Spike have prepared a wonderful breakfast."

Sweetie Belle couldn't help but feel a bit dumbfounded at all this. This was by a long shot not the kind of treatment she had expected to get today. She received Rarity's kisses with an expression that seemed to divide itself perfectly along the middle of her face - one half of gladness, and the other of abject horror.

"Please come in, my little ponies," Twilight said, holding the door open for the other two Crusaders, who entered very nervously.

Scootaloo took off her helmet and laid it down in the cart next to the copy of Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions that Twilight had lent to them the day before.

"Oh, hey, are you returning that, too?" Twilight asked the little orange filly.

"Yep. A-again, thanks for letting us use it, Miss Sparkle," Scootaloo replied, smiling broadly at the lavender unicorn in an ill attempt to conceal her unease.

"Oh! That reminds me! Rarity, how did—"

Twilight was of course about to inquire how interesting her friend had found the astronomy book she'd lent to her, but her sentence was cut short as the reality began to dawn on her.

"Oh, no! That makes the second copy of the The Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy that I've lost!" she groaned, burying her face in her front hooves.

"Well hey, at least it wasn't my fault this time," Spike shouted from the kitchen.

Twilight was unamused. "Hush, Spike! Can you just get some more toast ready?" she called out.

"Do I have to?" came the reluctant reply. "That toaster hates me. It threw me on the floor, yesterday."

"It did not. Now come on, we have three more guests over for breakfast."

Spike turned his head around the kitchen door to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders entering the house. He swallowed and dived back into the kitchen and rummaged through a few compartments. Eventually he found a napkin which he tied around his face, covering his nose and mouth.

"If Apple Bloom's brought that infernal pepper can with her again, I can't be held responsible for what'll happen."

"Oooohhh, horseapples! This is so frustrating!" Twilight whined, entering the kitchen and hopping from hoof to hoof on the spot uncontrollably. "I need to retrieve that book!"

"The Almanac?" Spike replied through his makeshift mask. "I should think it's just a mass of charred parchment by now."

Twilight shot Spike a glare that could freeze Celestia's sun.

Spike, understandably, froze.

"That copy of the Almanac was on loan from Canterlot Library! They expressly sent that copy to replace the old one!" Twilight fell in a crumpled heap to the kitchen floor, exasperated.

Rarity, leading the Cutie Mark Crusaders, entered, and stared down at her lavender friend. "Erm, darling, what on earth are you doing?"

"I'm wallowing in... pity! Or, y'know... whatever it is that ponies are supposed to wallow in!"

"Well, don't, you'll mess up your coat, darling."

Twilight merely hid herself in her hooves in response. Meanwhile, Spike - still somehow paralyzed, even though there was no physical explanation for why - spoke up. "Come on Twi, you're the princess's star pupil! She'll go easy on you, I'm sure."

Twilight grabbed hold of Spike, dragging him down to the floor and staring him right in the face. Spike tried to avoid direct eye contact at this distance but those enormous amethyst eyes dominated his entire view.

"I've already lost ONE copy of that darned book! And it's not just any book. It's the definitive Canterlot Library guide to astronomy and astrology! It's astronomical! It's a relic!"

The purple unicorn rose up, tossing Spike aside and projecting him across the room and headfirst into the toaster. Ignoring his cry of pain, she absent-mindedly ran a hoof backwards through her mane, putting it into a state of dishevelment similar to how it had looked that same morning. She started to sweat and grind her teeth in her panic.

"What if it's already gone out of print?" she continued, hysterically. "What if that was the last copy in existence?! If I don't return it in pristine condition to Canterlot library then they'll have my HIDE for this!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all winced at one another, guilt evident in their expressions. Rarity, meanwhile, was standing stock-still, staring firmly at her friend. She was mildly taken aback by this disproportionately pessimistic outburst, but was otherwise unmoved. It was just another Twilight freakout.

"Twilight, I can't quite believe I'm saying this to you, but... please calm down."

Twilight turned to her friend. "Rarity, you'll have to excuse me, I'm leaving now. I have to get that book back from your boutique. Maybe I have a restoration spell I can use on it or—"

Rarity suddenly jumped in front of her friend. "NO! No, you can't."

Twilight stopped, mid-canter, and stared Rarity deep in her sapphire eyes, her own flickering wildly with lustrous, purple-tinted flames. "Why not?" she hissed.

Rarity, even in the tumultuous state she was still in, replied with a composure which was serene in comparison to Twilight's. "Because your dress is there, being worked on by Fluttershy, remember? I really don't want to spoil it for you. I'm sure somepony else can get the book back."

Sweetie Belle and the other Crusaders all shared an "uh-oh" moment.

Rarity glanced behind her, smiling wide. "Sweetie Belle!"

"Uh-oh."

Author's Note:

Sorry this one is so late (and a bit shorter by comparison to the rest). The next few chapters have already been planned out a little more than this one was initially, so they shouldn't take as long. Anyway, hope you're all still liking it. :)

The First Morning

Fluttershy stared in desperation at the malformed piece of embroidery before her.

"Oh, it's useless..."

She'd already run out of the beautiful regal silver fabric that comprised most of Twilight's ruined gala dress, and had resorted to reconstructing it from a plethora of barely-matching colors with not nearly as much shimmer or majesty as the old dress. It was a hodge-podge of flatness and mediocrity.

Fluttershy sat down on her haunches and allowed herself a few moments to catch her breath from close to three hours of non-stop sewing, stitching and sweating. She gazed at the horrendous ensemble before her, and let out a tiny whimper of despair. But before she could summon the energy to break down completely, something tugged at her tail from behind her, and she turned her head around to lock eyes with her pet bunny.

"What is it, Angel?"

The audacious rodent indicated his open mouth with an impatient point of his paw.

"Oh, you're hungry...?"

He nodded and crossed his forelegs, staring up at Fluttershy and stomping a hind leg against the floor.

"Angel, I don't know... this could take me all week if I don't hurry it up, and if we break for brunch now—"

Her reply was interrupted by a spool of fabric getting thrown at her face. Angel resumed his floor-stomping protest.

Fluttershy didn't need this. Her stress levels were already nearing maximum, and were steadily climbing. She started to see red. Meanwhile, the ravenous rabbit, noticing that his slave was not surrendering to his initial threat, took hold of another stray spool, and juggled it threateningly in a paw.

"Now now, just you behave, young man! Don't think you can just—"

Bonk.

Fluttershy stared down at her assailant, her anger coming to a boil. Through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, she half-whispered: "Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once-over!" Grabbing hold of the boisterous bunny by the ears, she lifted him up to meet with her seething face.

"GO HOME AND GET YOUR BRUNCH YOURSELF YOU LITTLE FLUFFWAD!"

With this declaration, she arced a foreleg backward, and flung its occupant out of the open window with all of her might.

"Ahahaha! Who's the boss now, Angel Dummy?!?" she cackled madly.

Her rage dispelled as quickly as it had peaked, and all of a sudden she brought a hoof over her mouth to stifle an appalled gasp of shock at her own behavior. She galloped towards the window and peered out of it to see a tiny white rabbit on the ground below the boutique studio bounding hastily away from Carousel Boutique.

She then noticed that apparently a few of the ponies in the market square beneath her had obviously noticed the projectile bunny rabbit's descent from the window, and were now staring up at her. She gave an embarrassed squeak and shut the window, leaning against it and releasing a sigh. "Oh... I should've just used The Stare on him... but darn it, that bunny just makes me so—"

Suddenly, there were three knocks at the door of the studio.

"WHAT?!?" the distressed pegasus screamed. "Um, I mean... hello?" she managed to add in an infinitely quieter voice.

Three fillies entered the room.

"Oh! Hey, Fluttershah," greeted Apple Bloom as she and her Cutie Mark Crusader friends slowly shuffled into the studio. "We're here to uh... pick somethin' up."

This filled the yellow pegasus with sudden dread. She jumped in front of the two gala dresses and tried to spread herself out to conceal them from the gaze of the three fillies.

"GIRLS, YOU CAN'T! IT'S NOT READY YET!"

"Beg pard'n?" asked Apple Bloom, confused.

Fluttershy's heart was pounding rapidly in her chest. This was very bad. Did Rarity want to see the dress already? It would make sense for her to send her sister and her hyperactive little friends along to pick it up.

"Twilight can't see it yet! I've made a huge mistake! I told her it was fine but the fire actually damaged it beyond all recognition!" Fluttershy's face sunk into her outstretched hooves.

"Oooohhhh," the three Crusaders reeled backwards, feeling the guilt gnawing away again.

"...W-well, where is it?" asked Sweetie Belle in a small voice.

The yellow pegasus stepped aside and silently indicated Twilight's tarnished gala dress.

Scootaloo spoke up. "Umm... that's a dress?"

"Well... was," Fluttershy sniffed.

The Crusaders all looked again at the distraught pegasus, confused.

"Ah think there's a bit of a misunderstanding here," Apple Bloom whispered.

Sweetie Belle piped up. "Actually, Fluttershy, we didn't come to collect a dress. We... just came to get a book that Rarity had borrowed from Twilight."

Fluttershy stared into space. A wave of relief crashed down on her mind and shattered the foundations of her stress.

"Oh! Well, okay! That's... that's... excellent! Fine, go ahead! Take the book! I think it's just in the corner, there!"

Fluttershy's left eye twitched violently.

As the fillies wandered into the corner to pick the book up, they considered their current predicament. So it seemed Fluttershy was rather out of sorts, too. Evidently, owning up to their mistake to her was a very bad idea. The true extent of the damage to the boutique thanks to their rocket-propelled pig had also become plain. Fluttershy had tidied it up a bit to clear some of the debris from her workspace, but it didn't sparkle with that extra sheen of cleanliness that Rarity always lovingly ensured. As far as anypony was concerned, the studio was still a royal wreck.

Also, wasn't the Gala in just seven days? Obviously, Fluttershy was filling in for Rarity until then, but she appeared to be remaking Twilight's dress purely from scratch. Were things really that bad?

Sweetie Belle laid the Almanac down in front of her and her friends. They were rather dismayed, though not entirely surprised, to see that it was little more than a blackened char, stripped of almost all of its pages.

The unicorn filly turned up to look at Fluttershy. "Well, thanks, Fluttershy!" she said, mustering up as much brightness as her voice could manage. "We... we've got what we came for. Umm... good luck with the... dress... and stuff." But the pegasus was preoccupied with stitching more fabric on her new dress.

Scootaloo, meanwhile, was sniffing at a strange, dark, streaky object that she'd found lying in the corner of the room. She picked it up with a hoof and examined it in closer detail. Apple Bloom noticed and trotted over to her.

"Whatcha got ther', Scoots?"

The orange pegasus immediately stuffed it into her face.

"Don't know, but it sure is tasty!" she said through a mouthful of crunchy bacon.

"So long, you two!" Twilight chirped. "You know where I am, if you need me!"

Spike and Rarity stood in the doorway of the Ponyville library and waved to Twilight, who couldn't make out their expressions, but if she had, it would have been made obvious to her their inner musings; Rarity's a frown of unsurety, Spike's a ridiculous face-wide grin.

Twilight waved in return, then turned away. The thought of finally getting some playtime with the little Cakes reemerged in her mind, and she was suddenly overcome with a bout of explosive excitement, unable to help but make a little bounce and a joyous squeak, before setting off for Sugarcube Corner with a spring in her trot.

From the library doorway, Rarity looked on at this with some curiosity. "She seems awfully excited to leave us alone," she deadpanned.

"Well, it is exciting, isn't it?!" Spike blurted out, without really thinking.

Rarity gave him an odd stare.

"S-sorry."

"I'm tired, now, Spike. I'm going back to bed," the unicorn sighed, dismissing the baby dragon.

"Ummmmm... okay." Spike's claw connected with his face and he groaned into it.

As a way of taking his mind off of the monstrous embarrassment he was making of himself, he reached into the understairs cupboard, extracted a broom, and began sweeping the library floor, deep in deliberation as he performed his morning chore. If only he could say something to Rarity that sounded even vaguely noble, instead of so consistently displaying all of the wit, charm and charisma of a manticore after a head-swap operation.

His train of thought was derailed by an exclamation from behind.

"Ooh, umm... Spiiike..."

"...Y-yes, Rarity?"

"Before I go back to bed, I need a mirror. Celestia knows the state of my mane at the moment. I haven't brushed it since last night!"

Spike plucked up his courage. Now is your chance. Do not blow it.

"Umm... your mane is... fine?" Spike muttered. As unflattering as this statement was, it was more or less true, as Rarity's normally spectacularly curled mane was still in its normal, spectacularly curly state, notwithstanding a few strands which had fallen slightly out of place from her sleep in Twilight's spare bed. As true as it was, Spike was still not satisfied with the answer as it left his mouth, and apparently neither was Rarity.

"No, it's not! I need to brush it now! I can just... feel its... hideousness..."

Spike, at first, couldn't quite figure out what to say. Rarity usually reserved adjectives like "hideous" for ponies like Prince Blueblood or perhaps sea serpents. Clearly her self-esteem was at an all-time low, and he had to do something heroic about it.

"Rarity, honestly!" he cried out, dropping the broom. "Your beautiful, silky purple mane is absolutely, positively, undeniably gorgeous!"

He clamped his hands over his mouth and felt his cheeks flush.

"Spike, I'm flattered, really," Rarity replied, unfazed by the dragon's outburst, "but I simply insist that I go over it again with a brush. Now where might I find a mirror?"

"Um, well, there's one in the bathroom."

"Okay, good enough!"

You're just about to get into bed... what's the point? thought Spike.

As Rarity departed, Spike grouchily resumed his brooming duties. He cursed himself for being so terribly incapable of talking to Rarity just like any normal pony. There was no reason for him to be nervous around her at all. He considered how there was no need to try and impress her when they were already on perfectly good terms as friends, and how making an effort to talk to the unicorn only made things more awkward between them. He had to keep a level head.

For three days.

Oh, maaan.

The thought of being alone with the wonderful unicorn for that much longer only made his heart ache. When was Rarity going to give him a sign? She knew he was into her, so why didn't she just tell him outright what she felt?

"There. Much better." The unicorn emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later.

Spike shot his love a cursory glance as he continued focusing on sweeping the floor. Then he did a double-take, and stared. His eyes almost popped out of his head.

Rarity's mane was devoid of its signature curls, and was now completely straight, extending all the way down to her legs. It had obviously been toweled down, but was still dripping slightly from where Rarity had apparently used a substantial amount of water to rearrange and loosen it. She looked like a completely different unicorn. A completely different... so much more... alluring... unicorn.

Spike just about died from a snoutbleed there and then. Behind him, his tail shot out rigidly.

"Um... wow. What can I say?" For some reason, his voice had lowered a couple of octaves.

"I was simply tired of that old tangle of hairs I called my old mane. I had to do something about it. Doesn't this just suit me so much better?" She smiled contentedly and flicked a lock of perfectly straight, violet hair with a hoof.

"Y... y... yeah." Spike whizzed around and clutched his tail with a claw. "Now, you. Behave."

Presently, the front door opened slightly, and the unseen pony behind it knocked politely, before entering.

"Do come in!" Rarity called out.

Standing in the doorway was a colt, who appeared to be in his late teens, with unkempt facial hair and a pronounced overbite. He was wearing thick-rimmed spectacles and a garish chequered polo shirt.

"Oh, hello, Mish," he lisped through his buckteeth.

Rarity's eyes widened. "Oh, hello~," she said, in a tone that seemed awfully... inviting. Spike cocked his head to one side.

"Pardon me, but are you the librarian of this eshtablishment?" the colt asked the unicorn, fumbling a bit with his words.

"Until further notice, yes," Rarity replied, "Twilight is off on other business right now... but that's not important. What does a... handsome stallion like you need of our services, today?"

Spike looked at the pony in front of him, and clamped his hands over his mouth, somehow managing to repress the urge to exclaim, "Handsome?!"

"I'm here to return my copy of 'The Dragon Dungeon Chronicles: Volume IV', and... if I may, borrow the next edition of the sheries."

"I'll go and fetch it," Spike replied, who went off to retrieve a ladder and prop it up against the fiction section.

Rarity, meanwhile, shuffled towards the colt, and eyed him all over.

"My, my... that attire of yours is very... becoming of you," she breathed, batting her eyelids and flicking her perfectly straight mane.

"Umm... thank you?" The colt tugged nervously at the neck of his polo.

Spike, hearing this increasingly awkward conversation, sped up his search for the book.

"Your sense of fashion is simply superb, my darling. Where did you get those accessories, pray tell?"

"Oh, my mom buysh them all for me."

"HERE IT IS!" Spike grabbed hold of the book, and flung it hard across the room, landing smack in the young pony's face.

"Oh my! Spike! Do be more careful, you could take somepony's eye out!"

Spike was wholly unapologetic.

"Umm, thanksh lady," the colt said, backpedalling towards the door as he grew steadily more uncomfortable. "I... uh, think that'll be... all I'll need."

He turned and galloped away.

"See you some time next week, you handsome thing~!" Rarity sang out from the doorway as he ran back into town. Spike walked up to Rarity, utterly confused.

"Ahhh, what a dreamer he was. Now there's a pony who knows about fashion!"

Spike's brain was doing backflips. "Are... are you all right, Rarity?"

"Quite, thank you. Did you see how he combined chequer with pinstripes? And those spectacles, wooow."

Spike was about to say something about how the pony he had just witnessed was unquestionably some kind of fashionless, socially-challenged, basement-dwelling introvert manchild with facial hygiene issues (and probably still watched children's cartoon shows), when Rarity interrupted him.

"...Say, Spike. I think I could get used to watching over a library. Do you think you could go into town and... do a favor for me while I watch over the place?"

"Umm... anything for you, Rarity," the dragon replied cautiously.

"Could you perhaps nip down to the beautician's and get me some mane dye?"

"M-mane dye?!" Spike failed to conceal the horror in his voice.

"Yes. Lime green."

Spike did a spit-take. Which would have been unremarkable, but he wasn't even drinking anything.

"Umm. Yeah. Okay." He replied flatly.

"Ta-ta, Spikey Wikey~!"

As Spike exited the library, he mulled over in his head what was perhaps an understatement - Rarity was... acting a little odd.

First, it was getting rid of her trademarked mane curls, which she normally wouldn't be seen dead without. Then it was fawning after that sweaty little nerd... and now requesting bright green mane dye? It was almost like... she'd lost every precious bit of fashion knowledge that she was so renowned for.

"Come on, Spike. That's ridiculous," the baby dragon thought aloud as he walked into town, "whoever heard of a pony losing their fashion sense in the throes of post-trauma?!"

Applejack allowed herself a quick lounge on Fluttershy's couch, content that she was no longer being mercilessly mobbed by all manner of murderous mammals, who were presently preoccupied with vacuuming up the food she'd laid out for them. Having left them to their own devices, she lay back on the couch and stretched, contemplating how odd it seemed for a pegasus to have such a "down-to-earth" job as looking after woodland animals. But then again, Fluttershy was never a fan of flying high or doing acrobatic stuff like Rainbow Dash was. This job fit her. ...And probably her alone, if the last few minutes were at all indicative of how well Applejack got on with the very variety of animals that were constantly pestering her farm. Being nice to these critters was no easy feat.

The earth pony sighed, stretched a hoof out and picked up the list that Fluttershy had left her off of the floor.

"So what's first on today's list?"

Well, there were all sorts of things "first" on the list, because there wasn't a particular order or time plan to it - just items and items of important animal-caring duties Applejack had to fulfill.

She browsed through the list's "Saturday" section, determining which tasks of that morning she could be bothered to do first. She didn't much fancy the notion of washing out the rabbits' water bottles. The job of cleaning out the toucan's cage was equally uninviting. And she positively bleh'd at the notion of retrieving the beeswax from hive number three.

Come on, there had to be something here that she could be reasonably expected to not screw up...

A squirrel with a fractured knee needed rebandaging. Well... how much trouble could that be?

Moving outside, Applejack finally located a little metal cage lying beside the house, containing a common brown squirrel with a bandaged hind leg, and what appeared to be a miniature mohawk of fur atop his head.

As verminous and detrimental as these creatures were to Applejack's profession, she couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor thing as it scurried around bumpily in its cage.

"So you're the little fella with the fractured knee, huh? Bumpkin, is that your name?" she said, observing the little nametag adorning the front of the cage. "Awww, ain't Fluttershy jus' got the sweetest little name for you? You try an' be more careful in future, y'hear?"

Applejack reached down to the first-aid box that was open beside the cage, and yanked a strip of bandage from its roll with her teeth.

"Now, lesh have a lookit that leg o' yoursh."

The animal scowled at her in return.

Applejack peered into the cage and gave the animal a long, hard stare. She noticed the strange tuft of fur between his ears, and something suddenly clicked in the back of her mind.

"Hey, wait just an apple-buckin' minute. Ah recognize you!"

Apparently, so did the squirrel, because it picked up a nut from its food bowl and flung it hard at Applejack's face.

"OW, MAH EYE!" the earth pony shrieked, stumbling backwards and nursing the assaulted eyeball with a hoof. She spat out the bandage.

"You darned thieving miserable little rodent!" Applejack fixed the squirrel with a deathly glare. "You an' yer little friends were scrumpin' mah apples th' other day, weren't ya?"

The squirrel replied with an affirmative, if less-than-apologetic, squeak.

"An' ah was armed only with the apples I'd just bucked from the last set o' trees! You made me waste a bushel's worth o' perfectly good apples chasin' you off, you slimy li'l varmint!"

The squirrel angrily pointed to its bandaged hind leg and made an accusatory noise.

"Ah regret nothing. Served ya right." The earth pony smirked. "Heh, ah'd even say it was comical watchin' you hobble away on that ol' leg o' yours, after that last apple knocked you clean out o' that tree!"

The squirrel furiously kicked its food bowl against the bars of the cage, causing a variety of nuts to spill all over Applejack. She shielded her eyes from this, but as the final nut settled on the ground, she became aware that two of them were neatly plugging her nostrils.

"So... ya like nuts, do ya?" Applejack growled in a nasally voice.

She snorted, dislodging the nuts, and promptly darted off, leaving the squirrel to roll about on the floor its cage, laughing mischievously.

When it looked up again, it met the seething face of Applejack staring down above the cage, holding the opening of a large brown paper bag in her teeth.

"Then chow down, fuzzbag!" She proceeded to upend the bag, causing a tidal wave of assorted nuts to cascade upon the defenseless squirrel. Applejack laid the now empty bag down next to the cage. A solitary squeak escaped from the pile within it.

"How d'ya like them apples, huh? Oh, and here's your gosh-darned bandage." She picked up the strip of bandage from the ground and tossed it into the cage - it landed on top of the huge pyramid of nuts.

"Right, what's next?" the earth pony said, consulting her list again. Before she could choose which job she could next undertake in her present mood, something kicked at her hoof. She glanced down and spotted an exhausted-looking white rabbit.

"Oh, it's you. What do you want, ah'm kinda busy?"

Angel pointed to his mouth.

"Feedin' time, huh? Well, come on in, ah'll fix you up with somethin' real quick like." The bunny bounded into the cottage, and returned with a plate, knife and fork, and a handkerchief, which he tied around his neck.

Applejack consulted her list. "Hmmm..."

"Angel needs carrots (every day!)" had been scribbled hastily onto the section outlining today's duties, with the final word underlined several times. She found some lying in a bowl, picked them up in her jaws, and trotted outside, depositing them on Angel's plate.

"Alrighty, then, here you go. 'Bon appetite'."

Angel Bunny stared at the carrots in disbelief. Carrots. Carrots?! Such a base, contemptible vegetable. How could they even be conceived as an option?

His stubbornness outweighing his hunger, the rabbit turned up his nose haughtily.

"Come on now, eat 'em up. They're good for ya. They help you see in the dark, don'tcha know!"

Not buying into the earth pony's fabrications, Angel threw a carrot into a nearby duck pond.

"Alright. Would ya like 'em shredded?" she suggested.

The response received was a plate of carrots to the face, delivered via rabbit kick.

"So, this little bunny thinks he can buck, does he?" Applejack said in a sinister tone.

Angel simply stomped the ground impatiently in protest.

"Well this apple-buckin' pony doesn't take kindly to that attitude. Too bad you weren't here for mah rundown of the rules y'all have to follow round her' when ah'm in charge. Ah ain't no pushover like Miss Fluttershy."

Applejack spun around on her forelegs and with a swift kick, sent the rabbit flying into the branches of the nearest tree.

"Now as ah was sayin'..." the pony said, loudly enough for the rabbit to hear, and clearing her throat. She pulled up her list again and examined it closely. Her eyes met with an item that said simply "Badger set to be cleaned". Applejack mulled this job over in her head. She'd never dealt with a badger before. Was it another one of those furry little critters that had caused her so much strife today already? The idea of dealing with it didn't really appeal much to her, but it was the only item on the list that she felt like doing right now. And she felt like bossing some furry little critters about.

"...Okay, looks like I gotta clean the badger."

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She could get one of those big tin basins and give it a good washover with a brush and soap, similar to how she'd bathe Apple Bloom back at the farm.

She wandered over to a series of burrows and poked her head down one of them. "Helloooo, any badgers down here? It's cleanin' time!"

...

After having fought off an armada of snakes, prised several hedgehog spines from her cheeks and having made doubly sure that her eyes were clean of dirt from the result of a mud-slinging match between her and a squad of sleep-disturbed moles (which she'd lost), Applejack came to the mouth of the final burrow.

"Badger. Out. Now." All patience was gone from the beaten earth pony's tone of voice.

A small, black and white animal rose from the depths of its subterranean grotto. It rubbed its eyes as the spectacle of daylight flooded its ill-prepared vision.

"Bathtime, dirtball." Clutching it by the scruff of its neck, Applejack led the animal into the house, where she'd laid out a tub of warm water. She plonked it down into the bathtub, and the confused animal angrily stared up at her, thrashing its claws in protest and causing torrents of soapy water to splash about the room.

"Hey now, cool it!"

The badger was clearly distraught, obviously not used to being submersed in this amount of water before. Its writhing intensified.

"Scrubbin' time!"

Applejack brought the brush down upon the distressed animal, who reacted as though the cleaning instrument was a battle axe.

"STOP SQUIRMIN' YA FURRY LITTLE EEJIT!"

Eventually the badger tipped the container of soapy water all across the floor and scampered hastily out of the open door.

"Well ain't that just plumb typical." Applejack gave chase but slipped and slammed her face against the wooden floor.

"Oh, ah'm mad now."

She rushed out, preparing to chase the black-and-white soap-covered animal all across Fluttershy's garden, but her stride was halted by a bellowing roar.

A dark brown, thick-coated monstrosity, about the size of a well-built pony, came lumbering out of a kennel and screamed ferally at Applejack, who looked worriedly at her list of duties.

"...So you're Freddie."

The bear cub yelled again and ran straight for the earth pony.

"And ah forgot to play with you."

Applejack dropped the list and sped off as fast as her applebucking legs could carry her.

"HEEEELP! FLUTTERSHY HELP ME!"

Applejack soon found herself cornered against the trunk of a tree. The bear came barrelling towards her, a crazed look in its eyes and rabid foam shooting from the corners of its mouth.

With nowhere to turn, Applejack instead opted to jump.

Freddie clawed at the trunk in frustration, making Applejack wince at the sounds of bark being shredded, while she clung on for dear life at the branch, just out the bear's reach.

"AH DON'T CALL THIS PLAYTIME, DO YOU?" Applejack shouted from her branch.

Above her, there came a rustling noise, and something furry and covered in dirt, leaves and twigs hopped down to meet with her face.

The hungry white rabbit glared daggers at her.

"Oh, phooey."

"Okay, I'm here!" called a joyful voice from the doorway of Sugarcube Corner.

"Oh, thank goodness you came, Twilight!" said a grateful Mrs Cake as she entered the room with her husband, carrying a large wrapped parcel on her back. "With Pinkie Pie going away on some errand for that blue pegasus friend of hers, we've got nopony to help us out."

"Yes, we're very grateful that you'd step in as her replacement on such short notice," added Mr Cake.

"Anything to help you guys out! So where are the babies?" Twilight suddenly reeled back in embarrassment at having perhaps made her ulterior motive for doing this favor so abundantly clear.

"Upstairs in the playroom," answered Mr Cake, chuckling slightly at the unicorn's enthusiasm. "Good thing that you're here, right now - we need to make a delivery quite urgently, so we'll have to be out for an hour or so. And the twins need a playmate."

Twilight's smile broadened.

"And a carer," added Mrs Cake.

Twilight's smile stretched further.

"And somepony who's ummm... willing to change their diapies every few hours or so," Mr Cake completed.

Twilight's face-wide grin crumbled. "...Oh."

"Oh, and before I forget, deary," interjected Mrs Cake, "we have an order to fill for a birthday party - a super-sized Gateaux Supreme. It's a pretty big job, but we were wondering if you could handle it?"

The unicorn expunged the unpleasant thoughts of freshly festooned diapers from her mind, and turned it towards answering Mrs Cake's query. "Oh, yes. I read every cookbook I had back at the library in preparation just this morning. I know how to bake a good cake, more or less... though I'd have to take a look at the recipe for such a concoction."

"Oh, of course, we've got the recipe for it in some book on that dusty old bookshelf in the kitchen," said Mr Cake. "Now, we've both got to skedaddle now, so best of luck, Twilight! And thanks, again."

"No problem."

Once the Cakes were out of sight, Twilight skipped merrily up the stairs towards the twins' playroom. Carefully opening the door, she peeked inside.

Pound and Pumpkin were sitting upright in their cot, constructing a tower of building blocks together.

Twilight was actually not taken aback by the fact that the baby unicorn - who was not even a year old - was using magic to manipulate the little blocks. Her immediate thoughts were in fact more occupied with how huggable and baby-like the two twins were.

"EEEEEEEE OHMYGOSH ARE YOU GUYS LIKE THE CUTEST THINGS EVER OR WHAT?"

The two baby Cakes looked up at the unicorn in bemusement, who bounced up and down as she magicked them out of the cot, nuzzling them lovingly.

"Soooooo... you're Pound Cake?!" she said to the baby pegasus. "You're a big, strong little baby! And you must be Pumpkin Cake!" she gushed, turning to the baby unicorn. "Pound and Pumpkin! Aren't you two just totes adorbs? I'm gonna call you Pumpkinny Wumpkinny and Poundy Woundy!"

The two babies looked at each other, looking rather dumbfounded at this bizarre display.

Gently, the unicorn set the two Cakes down on the rug of the playroom. They were surrounded by more building blocks, and boxes filled with all manner of stuffed toys.

"So, you wanna play a game?" the lavender unicorn chirped eagerly, bending down to bring her face level with the babies'.

Pound Cake pointed to the stack of blocks that had been left behind in the cot.

"Oh, were you two building something, Poundy Woundy? That's okay! Here you go!"

Twilight focused on the structure of building blocks with her magic, and levitated it extra-carefully in front of the two babies, taking care not to dislodge or misplace a single block. The babies smiled and squeaked happily as she laid their creation in front of them again.

"So let's see what you were making!" Twilight grinned.

Pumpkin Cake summoned a blue aura of magic around three more blocks in front of her, and shifted them towards the tower, making them form a neat circle of spinning blocks.

Twilight gawked at this, suddenly becoming aware that maybe these babies were every bit the precocious little scamps that Pinkie Pie had said they were. She stared at the blocks circling each other in what looked very much like a typical planetary elliptical orbit... and found herself entranced by their relative rotations and orbital paths as they floated through the air in a distinctly cosmic manner. She considered how amazingly scale-accurate it was in terms of being a representation of their very own solar system—

Thwack. Whack. Whunk.

"Ouch," Twilight winced, nursing her snout with a hoof as three wooden building blocks crashed into her face in succession.

Pound and Pumpkin laughed out loud.

As the unicorn rubbed her sore muzzle, she thought to herself, uh-oh. Is Pumpkin still experiencing one of those powerful 'magic surges' that baby unicorns apparently go through?

Given that Twilight was suddenly floating several inches above the ground through no will of her own, engulfed in a light blue field of impenetrable magic, she concluded that this was a safe assumption to make.

Pumpkin Cake squealed in delight.

"Uhh... Pumpkinny-Wumpkinny?" Twilight pleaded weakly, only to find herself suddenly being magically willed all around the perimeter of the room. Twilight's own horn illuminated as she attempted to undo the magic she was under. When this plan failed, she began to get a smidge worried.

"Seriously, this is fun and all, but I think if you're not careful you could hurt somepo—"

Her body connected violently with the wall, and Pumpkin Cake laughed adorably, still refusing to release Twilight from her magical prison, who was now holding onto her spinning head with both forehooves.

"Guys, can we just go back to building blocks? That was fun while it lasted..."

Pound Cake, meanwhile, flapped his wings and launched himself from the ground, circling around the immobilized Twilight Sparkle and joining his sister in fits of giggles.

"Poundy! Pumpkinny! Don't make me get authoritative—"

Suddenly, Twilight shot across the room. Unable to slow herself down, she screamed and flailed her hooves just before she became embedded straight in the wall opposite. This process repeated itself several times as Pumpkin Cake catapulted the defenseless unicorn back and forth between the two walls.

Thoroughly dizzied and bruised, the lavender unicorn thought to herself, "Yeesh, this baby's got a temper."

Pound Cake hovered effortlessly above her head, and used what Twilight could only describe as "superpony strength" to lift the playroom window open. The little pegasus, wearing a mischievous grin, gave a wave to his twin sister.

"Uhhhmmm... guys?"

Twilight struggled against the veil of magic keeping her suspended above the floor, but to no avail. She started sweating nervously and fretting for her life as the twins' plan became apparent, and she was inched ever closer to the open window, helplessly trapped in her translucent blue prison.

"Um. Guys. Guys? Guys! GUYS!"

As the magic dissipated, she could swear there was a comical cartoon pause just before she plummeted to the earth below.

...

"Excuse me, but is a Miss Pinkamena D. Pie in?" Derpy Hooves repeated, again pressing her nose against the doorbell, which had gone completely unheard during the previous altercation.

Suddenly the mailmare found herself flattened against the ground, underneath a heavy, lavender object. Both she and it grunted in pain as they collided and lay in a crumpled heap on the doorstep of Sugarcube Corner.

"...Uh oh," the object uttered in a small voice.

"Oww! What's the big idea?" moaned the flattened pegasus.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh, Derpy, I'm so sorry! I just..." Twilight considered how ludicrous a baby unicorn levitating one out of a window would sound. "...fell out - on my own. Are—are you alright!?"

"Twilight! Is that you? I can't see! Help!" came a cry from beneath.

Twilight jumped off of the injured mailmare and helped her to her feet. "Oh, goodness, did I blind you? Please tell me I didn't..."

As the bubbly blue pegasus got up, her eyes looked straight at Twilight.

Straight.

"Oh my..." Derpy rubbed her head dizzily. "Twilight, since when were there three of you?"

"Derpy, I'm so sorry." Twilight couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but there was something about those enormous yellow eyes that was awfully unsettling when they stared directly at you. "I promise it won't happen again."

"Umm, that's okay... do you know if Pinkie Pie is in?" replied Derpy, picking up the letter she'd dropped on the ground in her teeth.

"She's not here now, I'm afraid, but I'll gladly forward the letter to her."

"Okey dokey!" chirped Derpy Hooves. "I'll... see ya later, Twilights," she added, stumbling backwards awkwardly.

"I'm really sorry about the fall, Derpy. That felt like it was quite a knock... maybe you should rest a while and get your head straight."

"Naw, I'm fine!" the pegasus protested. Eyes focused directly on the sky above her, she leant down, flapped her wings, and with a graceful launch... flew backwards into the Town Hall, smashing through a supporting strut rump-first as she did so.

Twilight winced as the resounding crunch met her ears. She sighed heavily, and walked back into the bakery kitchen, getting ready to levitate the various cookbooks from the shelf in preparation for her actual duties for the day.

"Maybe the twins are okay on their own. I'll just get this cake started."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang again.

"UGHHH!"

Not bothering to move herself over to the door to answer it courteously, Twilight instead used her magic to open it up... only to find there was nopony there.

There was, however, a thoroughly annoyed white rabbit standing on the doorstep. A wall of silence presided between the two for a few seconds.

"...What?" Twilight eventually asked impatiently.

The rabbit pointed a paw at his famished mouth.

"Sorry! In the middle of something right now!" the unicorn blurted out sharply. "Definitely don't have time to feed greedy little rabbits!"

Twilight marched over to Angel, frowning angrily at him. She hoisted him up in a purple haze of magic and stared him dead in the face. "Shouldn't you be over at Carousel Boutique helping out Fluttershy, anyway?"

Twilight let go of the struggling rabbit - but not before she applied a magical burst of kinetic energy, propelling him far above the rooftops of Ponyville and out of sight.

Across town, a yellow pegasus deep in the process of machine-stitching yet another piece of underwhelmingly-colored fabric momentarily thought she heard a bang against the window, but shrugged it off immediately and continued with her present task.

The burly brown pegasus looked up with no small amount of dread at the strange contraption before him, and the bright pink earth pony piloting it.

"...Is this real life?" he stammered after a hefty pause.

"Yeah, sure!" Pinkie Pie replied cheerfully. "At least, I think it is. Try pinching yourself, and if you wake up, then it's all just a dream! Or... maybe I'm having the dream!" The pink pony started pinching herself all over, while the weather factory foreman continued to stare up her, utterly flummoxed.

"Say... how do you pinch with hooves, anyway?" she suddenly asked, an air of complete seriousness in her voice.

"Just tell me why you're here, Miss... Pinkie Pie, was it?"

"Rainbow Dash said she couldn't do her duties for the weather team for a few days. I'm her replacement until further notice!"

Around the pink pony, several workers immediately stopped what they were doing and gaped in shock. Not a sound, save for the gentle background noises permeating throughout the factory, and the comical creaking of Pinkie's flying machine, could be heard for an awkward few seconds.

The foreman wiped his brow and sighed, consulting his clipboard. "Okay, Miss Pie. You're on cloud crafting duty for today. Top floor. Be sure to get into your uniform."

"Okay! Thanks!"

As Pinkie Pie pedalled off towards to the top deck of the weather factory, the foreman murmured to himself. "I wouldn't be at all surprised if it that crazy pony murdered us all today."

...

The top floor of the weather factory was an ornate circular room with a wide open ceiling revealing the pure white rush of clouds drifting above, with the arched support beams creating the illusion of a domed roof. A grid of enormous purple vats populated the center of it, and every now and then a pegasus pony would float towards one, balancing a bucket of cloud mixture carefully on their muzzle, before pouring it in. A chemical reaction of some kind within the vats would project a stream of precipitation with a resounding whoosh into the sky directly above the factory and form the very clouds that floated all over Equestria.

This particular floor of the factory complex appeared to be constructed from a sort of tightly-compressed cloud, giving it the appearance and solidity of stone, so Pinkie Pie set down her flying machine and hopped off of it, climbing into her factory worker's uniform.

"So many clouds!" she whispered to herself, awed by the misty vapors swirling gracefully above the factory's dome. "...Too bad they're not cotton candy clouds that spit chocolate rain."

Pinkie Pie walked over to a pool of steaming liquid cloud at the far end of the room and, using her teeth, picked up a spare bucket that was lying beside it.

"Hey, Raindrops!" a pegasus called out to another. "Check out the earth pony temp over there."

"Oh dear. This won't end well," her friend snickered. "Betcha she can't even balance that bucket on her snout."

"I know, right? It can take months of training to... get it... right..."

The pegasus was cut short by the actions of the earth pony in question. Pinkie had filled up the little wooden bucket with cloud mixture, swung it in her teeth, let go, and caught it with the top of her head. She was now bouncing up and down in her usual fashion towards one of the large vats, somehow keeping the bucket perfectly level and spilling not so much as a drop of cloud mixture.

When she reached the base of the vat, she did a swift head-bob, and bounced the bucket neatly onto her flank.

A small crowd gathered around the hyperactive pink pony as she continued with her routine. Lifting her flank up into the air, she arched her back and allowed the bucket to slither down her spine. Once it reached her head again, she flicked it back onto her rump, which in turn bounced it back onto her head again.

The worker pegasi cheered and applauded.

"That's not all, folks!" Pinkie Pie said, grinning widely.

The bucket still balanced perfectly on her head, Pinkie twisted around 180 degrees, then bobbed it back into the air. Gripping the ground with her forehooves, she kicked her back legs into the air and did an impressive hoofstand, catching the bucket with one of her back legs and started juggling it.

"More!" Pinkie called out.

A pegasus worker flew up to her and threw a second bucket onto her back legs, which was soon being perfectly juggled alongside the first one.

The crowd ooohhh'd and applauded.

"Can ya do three?" called out a male voice.

"Yes-can-do-a-rooney!"

Another bucket was thrown onto Pinkie's hind legs. The earth pony trembled momentarily, but simply increased the speed at which her back legs rotated to compensate for the additional weight, and soon was effortlessly juggling three rather heavy wooden buckets filled virtually to the rim with cloud mixture.

Further applause erupted from the crowd.

"And now, the coup de grâce!"

With a series of powerful kicks, Pinkie Pie sent each individual bucket flying across the room. The crowd gasped as the buckets bounced perfectly off the edge of the nearest cloud vat, tipping their entire contents into it, and landing on the ground at Pinkie's feet.

Pinkie Pie jumped up and bounced back onto her hooves. "Wha-chow!" she shouted, punching the air with a foreleg, her action timely punctuated by the deafening boom of a stream of liquid cloud rushing towards the sky before it condensed in the frigid air above the factory and formed a thick mass of billowing clouds.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Pinkie said as she bowed before her onlookers. "And for my next trick... these clouds look a little bland, don'tcha think? Surely we can spice these babies up a bit!"

The spectators all suddenly stopped applauding and looked at one another in varying degrees of horror.

From behind her, Pinkie Pie appeared to produce several large bars of chocolate candy, and proceeded to hastily unwrap them and toss them into one of the steaming purple vats before anyone could stop her.

"There, that should sweeten things up a bit!"

As she spoke, an eruption of deep brown foam blistered skyward with a deafening roar that sounded similar to... well, melty liquid chocolate rushing through a pipe at a rate of knots. Huge globules of the stuff spewed out from the base of the high-powered jetstream of chocolate, covering a wide area and splattering Pinkie's fellow cloud crafters with a half-cloud, half-melty-chocolate-bar mixture.

Gasps of shock and horror were heard all around as every eye turned towards the upward cascade of brown sticky goodness forming light chocolate-tinted clouds above their heads, drifting hastily in the stratospheric wind above the dome.

Pinkie Pie was the only pony in the room staring upwards at this display with a look of pure glee.

"Stupid earth pony! What has she done?" a voice called out.

Pinkie Pie overheard this but was unfazed by the borderline-prejudicial insult. "Just adding a little flavor to this whole 'weather' thing! Come on you guys - it's chocolate rain! Sing it with me now—"

A pegasus amidst the crowd of awestruck ponies turned to stage-whisper to her friend as Pinkie Pie burst into song. "Are we sure this girl isn't secretly dating the Spirit of Disharmony?"

"Is that enough coffee for you, Miss Dash?"

The bright blue pegasus drained her sixth mug in one hefty gulp, and slammed it down on the table.

"YeaahHhhHhHhh..." she trembled. "That reeEeeEeally hit the spooOot."

"Okay, well, anytime you're ready," Big Macintosh drawled, "we'll go on out to the orchard and ah can give you a crash course in apple-buckin'."

"Crash course?! What're you saying?" said the overcaffeinated pegasus, irately.

Detecting that he may have made the wrong choice of words, the stallion replied, "...just that I'll show ya the ropes to see if you're up to the job."

"Pshaw!" Rainbow Dash blustered. "Easy enough for me! I can buck apples in my sleep!"

...

"In my sleep..." the pegasus repeated, finding herself face-to-face with the largest collection of apple trees she had ever laid eyes on.

"Yeah, that sounds good right about now..."

Having declined Big Macintosh's offer to "break her in" to the process of applebucking, Rainbow Dash blinked and tried to stay calm, but her body was revolting against her. Her limbs were numb and barely keeping her upright, but her mind was firing on all cylinders.

Come on Dashie, said the voice inside her head, This should be no big feat. You're just... not in the right physical state. Warm that body up! This is the body that performed a Sonic Rainboom TWICE in a lifetime! You can DO this! Show those apples who's boss around here!

Standing up and hopping back and forth between both of her hind hooves, she balled up her forehooves (inasmuch as they could be) and started punching the air in front of her.

"Take that you no-good apple tree!" she grunted at the tree she was standing in front of, jabbing and swinging her forehooves forward in an aggressive manner. "Give up those apples! How dare you deprive Ponyville of your sweet and tasty fruits!"

Swinging her right hoof straight towards the nearest tree, she clocked it right in the bark.

"...Owwww!"

Falling flat on her back, she nursed her throbbing hoof, and noticed in dismay that not one apple had dislodged itself from the branches.

Well, apart from the one that knocked her on the head just then.

"Maybe I should try something not quite as confrontational."

She leant on her back and spread her wings out, firmly pressing them against the ground.

"Here goes... nothing!"

And there went, ostensibly, nothing. She managed a single wing push-up before crashing to the ground again in an exhausted heap.

"Am I really that out of shape?" Rainbow whined as the pain shot up her back and made her brain sting.

"...No! Enough's enough! Your time to fall is now, apples!"

Standing before the tree, she span around on her front hooves and kicked with all her might. The tree shook.

So did Dash.

"Ungh! That makes pratfall number three..." she muttered to herself as she belly-flopped ungracefully to the ground. "If only I could somehow buck with my wings... they're my most powerful weapon!"

Anger overtaking her, she stood up and addressed the orchard.

"Okay, you gosh-darned trees!" she declared. "You've gotten the best of Rainbow Dash, Best Young Flier 2011 for the last time!"

The trees offered no rebuttal.

Her frustration fuelling her physical energy, Rainbow Dash leapt into the air, spreading her wings out majestically. Propelling herself forward with all of her strength, she began encircling a large cluster of the orchard's trees, leaving a sparkling prismatic contrail behind her.

As she streaked effortlessly through the sky, she screamed above the rush of air around her, "how you do like my patented Rainbownado?"

The pegasus's speed increased exponentially until she became little more than a rapid, circular blur, which started to generate a great deal of centripetal current, drawing the surrounding trees into the rapidly expanding rainbow-colored vortex. Eventually the wind began feeding off itself, allowing Rainbow Dash to simply ride the rotating tide of the miniature tornado like it was the smooth, arched track of a velodrome speedway.

"Awwwwww yeahhhhhh..." the pegasus yelled ecstatically over the adrenaline rush. "Thiiiis is more liiiiike iiiittt..."

Gradually she began her descent towards the trees below. The roaring tornado engulfed a group of about a dozen apple trees. Inside the maelstrom, Rainbow Dash smirked, victorious, as a shower of apples flew off of the trees and scattered themselves across the orchard.

"Aww yeah! This one's in the bag! Along with the app—"

An entire tree flew past her.

"...uh-oh."

Another one.

"Abort! Abort! ABORT!" the panicked pegasus screamed.

She attempted to break out of the storm, but the uncontrollable winds fought against her as they cycled, uprooting more trees. She yelped as one flew right over her head.

"This was a very bad idea."

Still dodging orchard as it barrelled past her, she gave up fighting against the current, and allowed herself to drift into the eye of the storm, where the winds were less prevailing. From here, she launched herself high into the sky to observe the chaos from above.

"How'm I gonna stop this?" she fretted. "The winds are too powerful now! The only way I could possibly break them is with something even more powerful, and... right in the center of it..."

One thought crossed her mind. It wasn't a pretty one, but it was the only one.

Rainbow Dash swallowed, and began a vertical climb as high into the sky as she could go.

...

Back in Ponyville, an older couple sat on a balcony.

"Did you just a thunderous, ear-splitting boom, sweetie?" asked Mr Waddle.

"Gosh darn it, stop drivelin', you old fart!" reprimanded his wife. "Take your meds and stop thinking that pigs, bikes and rabbits can fly!"

"Yes, sweetie."

...

When Rainbow Dash opened her eyes, her mouth dried up and her head went a deep shade of red.

"Oh, actual horseapples..."

From where she was standing she couldn't see a single apple. Or leaf, for that matter. Every tree in the immediate vicinity that hadn't been tossed into the atmosphere had been stripped to the bark by the Sonic Rainboom. Rainbow Dash was standing in the midst of the patch of grey earth where the now-absent trees had once stood.

Rainbow gawked at this scene for about a minute, unable to utter a word as her brain attempted to process it.

Then a grin slowly spread across her face, and she exploded.

"ALL RIIIIGHT! WHO'S THE MARE! GOOOOOO RAINBOW DASH! BEST YOUNG FLIER 2011, APPLEBUCKER SUPREME 2012! CAN I GET A YAY, FLUTTERSHY?"

Meanwhile, a yellow filly with a large hair bow scampered hurriedly up the hill and met with the exhausted pegasus.

"Rainbow Dash? What in Equestria was that? Was that a Sonic Rainboom? What are you doin' here?"

"What's it look I'm doing, junior? I'm helping out with the apple harvest. Needless to say, I think I've taken care of this patch of land."

"Ah mean, why are you buckin' apples?"

"'Cos your sister asked me to."

"Applejack's gonna kill you when she finds out about this. Where is she?"

"Oh. She's at Fluttershy's cottage, I think. I'm filling in for her for today."

At this, Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow and set of gears within her head started grinding. "So, wait a minute..."

There was definitely a chain of events in motion here. It had all started with the pig. Apple Bloom thought back to how Rarity was resting up at Twilight's library. Unable to work on the lavender unicorn's dress, Rarity had chosen Fluttershy to take her place at the boutique and finish it. So, if Fluttershy had asked Applejack to take care of her animals, and Rainbow Dash was filling in on the farm...

"...Rainbow, where's Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, I got her to fill in for me on the weather team. She'll be in Cloudsdale by now, probably on cloud crafting duty."

Apple Bloom froze in terror.

"Pinkie Pie? On the weather team? Are you insane, Rainbow?"

"Well, alright, she wasn't the best choice, admittedly," Rainbow Dash conceded, "but Fluttershy's the only pegasus I know who'd do a favor like that for me, and she's not part of the weather team! She was never a weather pony, plus Applejack's helping to look after her animals, I think. So it had to be Pinkie Pie - she's my next closest friend after Fluttershy and Applejack. I mean, sure, asking an earth pony to do a pegasus's job..."

"That's not what ah meant!" cried Apple Bloom. "Think about it. Pinkie Pie. Controlling the weather."

Rainbow pondered this for a brief moment.

"Aww, what's the big deal, kid?" she eventually asked, shrugging. "I trust Pinkie Pie not to destroy all of Ponyville with a huge cyclone or anything like that."

"She won't have to," Apple Bloom deadpanned, staring at the spectacle of leafless, appleless trees before her.

Rainbow glanced skyward. "...But now that you mention it... is it me, or did it get overcast all of a sudden?"

Apple Bloom peered up. "...Yeah. And those clouds are kind of a funny color."

As the pegasus gazed into the sky, a droplet of brown splashed delicately onto her muzzle. She paused as a wave of disastrous thoughts came bubbling to the surface.

"...We're in trouble."

The noon sunlight shone brilliantly through the open window. Fluttershy looked at the dress for the umpteenth time that day.

"Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear."

Curious for a second opinion, she looked down at Angel Bunny. The rabbit made a series of gestures that suggested intense projectile regurgitation followed by a choking fit and subsequent loss of consciousness.

"...That bad, huh?"

Author's Note:

This was a fun chapter to write - boy did it get big, though. Only took a bit longer than I was expecting, though. :P (And it might have been up earlier but I've been having internet issues.)

I'd like to, for no good reason, give a shoutout to Andrew Joshua Talon for entertaining me when I hit creative roadblocks with this chapter. His fictions are comedy gold, and did rather inspire me when I finally came to writing out the last few bits of this.

Also big thanks to my bro who helped me out at a few crucial stages while writing this chapter.

(Refer to Applejack and Fluttershy's conversation in chapter 2 for a reminder of our friend Freddie.)

Crisis

Twilight Sparkle bit her lip in concentration, delicately placing the last chocolate swirl atop of the mountainous piece of confectionery before her.

"Finished!"

She regarded her creation - a completed Chocolate Gateux Supreme. Having followed the instructions in the cookbook provided by the Cakes' extensive collection, she had created a 100% accurate replica of the illustration on the page for the cake's recipe. Casting her gaze between the image and the actual cake, she allowed herself to soak in its magnificence, and let out a satisfied sigh.

If only she could smell her creation in its freshly-baked glory - but the clothespeg on her muzzle went some way to stopping that. But of course, if not for it, then the diabolical odor permeating throughout the whole bakery would've surely suffocated her by now.

Twilight's thoughts returned to those two cutesy-wutesy little baby Cakes, and a little shiver consumed the unicorn as she remembered back to the battle of wits she'd lost hopelessly to the two toddlers. It had been an ordeal in equal parts terrifying, ridiculous, and humiliating - it had played out exactly like a cheap horror movie, in other words. And if fighting against powerful magic surges was a fairly common occurrence for new unicorn parents, then she Pinkie-Pie-swore to herself never to have kids of her own.

She theorized that if Pumpkin Cake was smart and powerful enough to levitate a fully-grown unicorn out of a second-storey window, then she was smart and powerful enough to change her own diapers.

Presently there was a knock at the door.

Twilight's horn lit up. Arming herself with a frying pan, she got ready to fend off a hungry white rabbit, and very cautiously opened the door.

"Good afternoon, Miss Sparkle! How well did you cope with the bab—"

However, before Mr Cake could complete his sentence, he and his wife caught a brief but overpowering whiff of a frankly appalling smell.

"Sweet rainbow mane of Celestia! What is that stench?!" he exclaimed, shielding his nostrils with both forelegs.

Twilight's horn glowed for a split second, and she compressed the wooden peg into a singularity, erasing it from existence.

"What smell?"

"I... think I have some idea..." Mrs Cake whispered weakly.

Realization struck Mr Cake, and he turned to the lilac unicorn, who spluttered involuntarily as the odor entered her muzzle. Clutching her nose with a hoof, she emitted an embarrassed squeak.

"Oh... that smell! That's mighty strange - how did I not notice it sooner?"

"Twilight," Mr Cake asked sternly. "Do you mean to tell us the bakery has stunk of unchanged baby diaper for the last hour or so?"

"Umm... I guess I... I just..." Twilight fumbled for an excuse, opting to avoid with every ounce of her strength the temptation to inform the Cakes how their only-a-few-months-old children were malicious murderers in the making who would make an amazing tag team in the "defenestration" event in the Ponylympics.

Mrs Cake stepped forward. "Twilight, we're very grateful for the help you've done for us... I mean, the cake looks perfect, deary, but..."

"How many customers have turned up since... that smell started?" inquired Mr Cake.

The unicorn's eyes wandered briefly. "Umm... zero."

"I am entirely unsurprised." Mr Cake huffed and hobbled off in the direction of the playroom, struggling to walk slightly as he still had to hold his nose from the eye-watering whiff with one hoof.

Mrs Cake addressed Twilight. "I think you've done very well with the cake, Miss Sparkle," she said, showing no small amount of admiration for the towering gateaux. "But what do you think customers are going to think when they walk into an establishment that smells of... well, soiled diapers? Which, if I may add, can even be smelt from well outside the building?"

Twilight looked at the floor in shame as Mrs Cake continued. "I think now that you've filled in this order, deary, we'll pack it up and send it on its way..." There was a small pause as Mrs Cake let out a sigh. "We won't be needing your services for the rest of today."

Twilight's face drooped, and her mauve eyes began to tear up. "Oh, this is going to sully my reputation with you, isn't it?" she blubbered, crestfallen. "You won't ever ask for my help again!"

"No, no..." Mrs Cake comforted. "We've got some big tasks to take care of over the next few days, so we could still use some assistance about the place with Pinkie Pie gone. Just... if you have any doubts about what we ask of you, just mention them."

Twilight nodded slowly.

"Why didn't you change the babies, deary?" Mrs Cake asked the unicorn.

Twilight hesitated.

"With the greatest respect, Mrs Cake... your children are Tartarus-spawn."

"Oh, Angel. What am I going to do?"

As the desperate yellow pegasus fretted, her pet rabbit hopped onto the windowsill, and indicated Twilight's library with a stern look on his fluffy little face. Fluttershy looked over and considered his opinion, then slowly nodded in agreement.

"...You're right! There's no point in prolonging this any further! I'm going to have to own up to Rarity that I... had to remake the dress from scratch."

Saying it out loud renewed an overwhelming sense of dread in the shy yellow pegasus. "Ooohhh... she'll be completely appalled... she might never trust me with her dresses again..."

Fluttershy flumped onto her haunches, ready to break into a desperate sob.

"I lied to my friends. And now I'm going to have to admit it. Oh... why do I always end up in these situations? Even when I try to do the right thing!"

Angel bounded over, pulling out a hoofkerchief and drying her eyes and brow with it.

"But it's better that I do it now and save poor Rarity twice as much devastation later on. Heck, she might not be that angry. She might understand completely why I told her that lie."

Fluttershy turned around and glimpsed at the horrendous dress she'd been working on non-stop for the last five hours... and wished she hadn't.

"There's no easy way out. I'm gonna have to show her what I've done to her beautiful design. It's the right thing to do, right? I have to do the right thing - for me, for Rarity, for Twilight, for all my friends. Darn it, for Celestia!"

The pegasus wiped her eyes again, stood up, and put on her bravest face, staring intensely at the new dress. "Angel, dear, find something with wheels I can put this on. We're going to show it to Rarity!"

Her moment of bravery was interrupted by a sharp knock at the... window? Fluttershy trotted over to it, opened it, and saw her friend Rainbow Dash hovering just outside it.

"Hey Fluttershy! Emergency meeting at the library! Got a major problem on our hooves!"

Fluttershy squeaked nervously. "Oh, dear - how major?"

An ominous roll of thunder startled both the pegasi. Rainbow pointed up at the churning sky above.

"Pretty major!"

Fluttershy gulped. "Umm... Angel? Be a dear and stay here for a little while, would you?" And with that, the two ponies flittered off in the direction of Twilight's library. Angel was left groaning and clutching his stomach, as it audibly reminded him that it had still not been fed all day.

"Hmm. That's peculiar. The pegasi didn't say anything about a thunderstorm today," mused Twilight Sparkle, peering up towards the sky as another crash of thunder rumbled over Ponyville.

"Twahlight! Twahlight!" came a high-pitched voice from behind her.

"Oh, hello there, Apple Bloom!" said the unicorn brightly, before noticing the filly's panicked expression and rapid breathing. "...What's the matter?" Between pants, Apple Bloom managed to tell the unicorn exactly what had her so worried.

"Ah've just come all the way back to Ponyville from Sweet Apple Acres! You an' the girls need to know what's goin' on! Rainbow Dash told me that Pinkie Pie's up in Cloudsdale - and she's messin' with the weather!"

Twilight's mind started brimming with questions. Pinkie Pie in Cloudsdale? Messing with the weather? Was this what Apple Bloom was so terrified about? ...And what was that sickly sweet smell invading her nostrils?

"Well, that would explain why it's suddenly gotten so stormy..." the lilac unicorn conceded. "But what's she doing there? Why is this important?"

"Just wait..."

Twilight directed her gaze back to the formation of clouds above Ponyville. They were certainly no ordinary clouds... there was an odd tinge of color to them... an orangey-brown. She sniffed the air. There was definitely some other scent in it aside from the standard "it's-about-to-rain" smell. An overpowering aroma of... chocolate.

A drip of something splashed onto her horn, making her wince. It trickled down her face, over her muzzle and onto her tongue. As the sweet taste of it registered with her, the unicorn's pupils shrank in realization.

"...Ah."

Two more ponies suddenly flew down to meet Twilight Sparkle. "We've got a big problem, Twi!" shouted Rainbow Dash as another bout of chocolate thunder rolled in.

"Ah just told her, Rainbow," said Apple Bloom, nodding to indicate Twilight's expression of silent shock. "Did ya manage to fly over to Fluttershy's t' get mah sister?"

"Umm, 'fraid not, kid."

"GIVE ME BACK MAH HAT, YA SNAGGLE-TOOTHED GOOD-F'R-NOTHIN'!" yelled Applejack, holding the branch she'd managed to detach from the tree she was still clinging to, and jabbing it threateningly in the face of Freddie, who roared up at her in reply.

"AH'LL HOOK IT OFF YOUR BUCK-UGLY FACE IF AH HAVE TO!" she roared back, only inciting further rage from the grizzly bear cub.

"WHEN AH CATCH YOU AN' THAT GREEDY LITTLE WHITE FUZZBALL THAT BEAT ME UP, YER BOTH GONNA BE IN FER A WORLD OF HURT!"

"She looked... uhh... a little busy," the blue pegasus said sheepishly.

Fluttershy turned to her. "What exactly is going on, Rainbow?"

Rainbow Dash turned to her friend and looked her right in the eyes, regret overtaking her expression. "I asked Pinkie Pie to take my place on the weather team yesterday. She's found a way to make it actually rain chocolate rain! Celestia knows what else she's got planned!"

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, girls..." said Twilight, as calmly as she could. "So Pinkie Pie just found some way to make it rain chocolate. That's normal for her! It could've even been an accident! It can't be any worse than this, right?"

All of a sudden, a chill in the wind ruffled Twilight's coat and made her shiver. Something small and chunky fell from the sky and caught her in the eye. "Ow!"

The two pegasi and the earth filly looked down at the object while Twilight nursed her throbbing eye. Rainbow Dash picked it up, sniffed it, and promptly threw it into her mouth.

"Yup. Chocolate," she said as she munched.

"Oh, dear..." murmured Fluttershy. "So... as well as chocolate rain... we're now getting..."

"CHOCOLATE HAILLLLL!" screamed another pony from behind the four friends. Immediately the residents of Ponyville started shrieking in terror.

"DISCORD HAS RETURNED!" cried another voice.

"IT'S THE END OF DAYS!" yelled another.

"THE HORROR, THE HORROR!"

Suddenly the town square became a battleground. Ponies were diving past one another in a frantic bid to get back to their homes and lock themselves away from the chaotic weather. The rain was pouring down harder now, forming giant chocolate puddles in the road, and the chocolate hailstones were also falling in greater succession. One villager bumped into Twilight and sent her crashing down into one such puddle as he galloped carelessly past.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAASORRYMA'AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

"EVERYPONY RELAX!" Twilight cried out to the ensemble of screaming villagers, hopping onto the steps of Town Hall to attempt to garner their attention. "THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM! DISCORD HAS NOT RETURNED! THE WEATHER IS MERELY A RESULT OF..." at this point, she hesitated, "...SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES."

"Twilight, we've gotta talk," Rainbow interjected, after the purple pony's public parlaying to the panicked Ponyvillians proved pointless. "Is Rarity still at your library?"

"I think so."

"Good - we need as many of us as possible. Two of us can't make it for obvious reasons, but we can't waste any more time! Come on, let's go!"

The three friends all galloped back to the Ponyville library, with Apple Bloom in tow.

"I had absolutely no part in this, I swear," squeaked Sweetie Belle nervously.

"I can attest," added Scootaloo. "She was like this when we got here, honest to Celestia."

Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Apple Bloom continued to stare.

"Uh, yeah," Spike said matter-of-factly. "Nothin' to do with me. All her idea."

"Are you all quite done staring yet?" asked Rarity huffily, laying nonchalantly on the couch with a cup of hot tea as if things were perfectly normal.

Rainbow Dash's eyes were every bit as wide and round as saucers, and she was heroically suppressing a hearty guffaw.

Twilight Sparkle's jaw had fallen to the floor, and her face was twitching involuntarily as her brain struggled to process what her eyes were telling it.

Fluttershy simply quivered and stammered, unable to collect her voice. The interrelations between her mind and mouth had all but ceased. "G...g...g..."

Twilight filled in for her in a tiny, nigh-inaudible squeak. "Green."

Rarity leaned forward. "I... didn't quite catch that, darling."

"GREEN!" Twilight screamed, immediately stopping her mouth with a hoof.

The white unicorn rolled her eyes. "Oh, is that what has you all gawking like Quarray eels?"

Rainbow Dash could contain herself no longer. "BWAAAH HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!" She dropped to her knees and beat helplessly against the wooden floor of Twilight's house with her hooves, her entire body convulsing with fits of uncontrollable laughter.

Rarity frowned at the reactions of her three friends. "Honestly, I'm disappointed in you three. Can't a girl make a fashion statement without being judged? So what if it this is different to my usual look?" She proudly twirled a bang of perfectly straight lime green hair across her face.

"It's... just so... odd, Rarity," Apple Bloom quipped, who had stayed perfectly silent for the last minute (probably for the best). "Ah mean, it's different an' all... in fact ah'd almost say it kinda suits you... but what really confuses me is... the glasses. With the tape holdin' em together."

The two ponies who were still standing nodded and agreed that this was a very good point. Why had Rarity suddenly decided to start sporting such a... nerdy look? Those glasses were nothing like the elegant little pince-nez that the unicorn wore while she was working on a dress. These monstrosities had thick black rims and no lenses. They were little more than an accessory... and a rather terrible one at that.

"To be honest, it's the socks I don't get," mumbled Twilight.

"Yes, definitely the socks," said Fluttershy, nodding her head hastily.

"Oh, come on!" shouted Rarity indignantly, "I was getting cold! They aren't even part of my new look!"

"That's understandable..." said Twilight. "But even so..."

"Green and yellow stripey socks?!" shouted Rainbow, laughter still choking her. "Rarity, you have flipped!"

"Ah think we're losin' track o' the real issue here," said Apple Bloom. "Rainbow, we should really tell them what's been goin' on for the last day that they've been unaware of."

The cyan pegasus finally sat up, clutching hold of her aching, winded stomach, and tried to regain her composure. She choked back the final remnants of her mirth, and wiped her watering eyes with both forehooves. "Yeah, you're right, kid, aha..." she spluttered. "In all seriousness, some really bad mess is goin' down, guys. Have you looked outside?"

"Yeah, I was wonderin' about that, too," replied Spike, clambering up onto a windowsill. "As far as I know, the weather team haven't scheduled a storm for at least another week."

"That's because Pinkie Pie is making it rain chocolate hail," stated Apple Bloom.

"What, like real chocolate?" asked Spike, wide-eyed.

"Yup, she's on weather duty in Cloudsdale right now, apparently," continued the filly.

Spike was out of the door in a flash.

"Whatever is Pinkie Pie doing up in Cloudsdale?" Rarity inquired, shocked.

"She's doing a... favor... for Rainbow," explained Fluttershy.

"Yeah," replied Rainbow Dash. "I got asked by Applejack to do some chores on her farm yesterday because she was looking over Fluttershy's animals." The yellow pegasus recoiled at the mention of her name.

"It was pretty destructive," said Apple Bloom. "Ah reckon you ripped up a good dozen trees with that Rainboom of yours, Dash."

Dash coughed, and attempted to return to the original subject. "...But I had some pretty heavy duties to perform on the weather team, so I asked Pinkie Pie to fill in for me. I thought I could trust her not to do anything stupid."

"And that's why she asked me to fill in for her at Sugarcube Corner!" added Twilight. "Which, I might add, was a nightmare. Do not try to reason with the Cakes' kids. They will murder you." She punctuated this sentiment by craning her neck forward and giving her friends the best death-stare she could muster. Although she was being entirely serious, her onlookers remained unconvinced, and, sensing this, Twilight gave a nervous chuckle, and then resumed the previous subject.

"Uh, and of course, I asked you to look over the library this morning, Rarity..."

"...and I asked Fluttershy to finish that Gala dress of yours, Twilight," Rarity said slowly, the look on her face evidencing that she was gradually coming to terms with the enormity of the situation. "So that means..." At this point she raised her ridiculous, oversized spectacles from her muzzle. "Mother of Celestia..."

"Not one of us is doing what they normally do," concluded Twilight.

Presently, Spike stumbled back into the library, rubbing his forehead with a claw. "Forget that. The hail's far too heavy out there," he said painfully to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle snickered quietly.

"Why, it's as if we've gone in a neat little circle!" Rarity chirped, clapping her sockbound front hooves together in glee. "Oh, isn't that just delightful?"

"It would be, except for the fact that Ponyville is starting to look like one of Spike's dreams about you," Twilight said scornfully.

Rarity glanced over at Spike, whose face went beet-red. "How in the hay do you know about my dreams?" he demanded.

"Easy - you're a terrible somniloquist, Spike," chuckled Twilight.

"Gesundheit," commented Rainbow Dash.

Fluttershy suddenly spoke up. "I'm sorry! This is all my fault! I shouldn't have talked Applejack into babysitting my animals. I think I ended up asking too much of her, anyway."

Twilight put a foreleg around the sad little pegasus and spoke soothingly. "It's nopony's fault, Fluttershy. The circumstances were just unfortunate. We all had important duties to perform..."

"Yes," affirmed Rarity. "It's only a testament to our friendship that we stay so loyal to one another in times of need!"

Rainbow Dash suddenly remembered something. "Uh oh. I, uhh... I think I'd better check that Applejack's getting on alright with that bear."

"Oh, no!" Fluttershy gasped in alarm. "She forgot to play with Freddie, didn't she?"

"I dunno," Rainbow Dash shrugged. "All I saw was a bear that didn't look one bit happy. He'd chased her up a tree and she was trying to shoo him off with a branch. But don't you worry, Fluttershy! I'll hold him off - you don't need to worry about AJ!"

"To be honest, it's the bear I'm more worried about," the primrose pegasus admitted, "...you know what Applejack can be like when she has to defend herself."

Rainbow Dash considered this. "...Yeah, good point. Alright, girls, see ya later." With that, the brash blue pegasus took off into the air.

"Wait for me!" called out Fluttershy. She turned to the two unicorns. "I... think I'd better go, too - Freddie only really listens to me. And then I'd, umm, better check on Angel," said Fluttershy before flying off to catch up with her airborne friend.

Twilight, Rarity and Spike were left in the library with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Well, isn't this a fine how-do-you-do," said Rarity. "I mean, you couldn't really make it up, could you? Who would have ever thought that a flying pig would come crashing through my window, send me into shock, limit me to the library, have Fluttershy fixing fabrics, Applejack ordering around animals, Rainbow ripping up apple trees, Pinkie pouring chocolate precipitation onto Ponyville, and you getting tossed around by toddlers, Twilight?"

"Whoever decided that all that should happen probably has a very sick mind," said Twilight with a frown. "Either that, or they're just downright clumsy."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders exchanged worried glances as they huddled together. "What are we gonna do, girls?" asked Scootaloo in a whisper.

"Emergency CMC meeting, that's what. To the clubhouse!" decided Apple Bloom.

They all nodded in agreement of their next course of action. Sweetie Belle turned to address the elder ponies. "Well! We've, uh, got a lot of crusading to catch up on!" she said, with a certain nervousness in her voice as her eyes inadvertently fell onto her bizarrely-dressed sister again.

"Yep! Here's the book you wanted, Twilight," added Scootaloo, fishing the incinerated Almanac out of her cart and laying it down - perhaps not quite as carefully as she could have, as a pume of burned parchment spewed forth from its tarnished pages.

"We'll be in the clubhouse if ya need us again, Twi!" called Apple Bloom, as she and Sweetie jumped into the little red cart lying beside Twilight's door. Scootaloo clambered onto her scooter and donned her safety helmet.

"Be back here by dinnertime, Sweetie!" called out Rarity as the three fillies bolted off hastily into the pouring chocolate hailstorm outside.

The library interior was silent as Twilight glanced at the charred tome lying before her, and a sinking feeling overcame her as she stared solemnly down, observing its almost unrecognizable remains.

"It's okay! This isn't a big problem," she finally said, more to herself than anyone else, but the falseness of her self-reassurance was evident. "I'm sure I have a restoration spell somewhere. Spike! Can you find one for me?"

"Uhh... Twilight, wouldn't it be best if you dealt with the chocolate hail first?" replied the dragon, staring out of the window at the storm as it continued to rage on outside.

"Yes, he's right, dear," said Rarity. "You wouldn't want all of Ponyville to be thrown into a panic, now, would you?"

"Probably a little too late for that, now," the purple unicorn muttered. "I suppose I'd better find that failsafe spell I learnt when we had our first chocolate storm. Help me find that, Spike."

"Can't I get some lunch ready? I'm starving."

"Spike. Fixing Ponyville's weather cycles is slightly more important than lunch."

Spike sighed. "You got it, sis."

"Down there, Fluttershy!" shouted Rainbow Dash above the din of the stormy wind ripping through her mane as they both soared over Fluttershy's cottage.

"Oh, dear..." the yellow pegasus murmured nervously. "Rainbow, let me deal with Freddie, you can go get Applejack!"

"Sounds like a plan," replied Rainbow Dash, nodding.

"Fluttershy! Rainbow!" called Applejack from her branch. "Thank Celestia!"

Rainbow began her descent towards the tree in Fluttershy's garden, which was slowly being torn to pieces by the enraged bear cub. "Don't worry, Applejack! I'm comi— whoa!"

As soon as she came within clawing distance of Freddie, he lunged out at her, roaring menacingly. The pegasus arched sharply back into the sky, and hovered nervously above the ground.

"Fluttershy! Maybe you'd better take care of this!"

"Just distract him! Somehow! Anyhow!" yelled Applejack, swinging to and fro on her branch. "Ah gave him mah hat and that twig, but he jus' wouldn't—"

SNAP!

"—back off...?"

Applejack's eyes widened in terror as her eyes caught a glimpse of the state of her branch. "Oh, ponyfeathers."

The branch snapped again, sagging under the stress of her weight, bringing her closer to the base of the now thoroughly shredded tree, and well within Freddie's reach.

"HE-ELP! HEY! OVER HERE!" she screamed over the howling wind.

In an instant her world became a blur, as she was somehow whisked into the air through the pouring chocolate rain. She felt a pair of hooves clutching tightly at her sides, then looked to meet with the face of Rainbow Dash smiling reassuringly at her.

"Gotcha."

Rainbow Dash did an impressive loop-the-loop, slowed her momentum, and landed on the roof of Fluttershy's cottage, setting Applejack carefully down beside her. The earth pony stumbled clumsily across the roof, looking decidedly unwell. "Land's sakes, Rainbow. Warn me next time you're gonna do that."

"Heheh. Sorry." The pegasus grinned sheepishly.

Applejack took a few deep breaths and wiggled her hooves to get her bearings straight. "But thanks, anyway... You... sorta saved mah life."

"All in a day's work. I never leave my friends hanging."

Applejack leaned towards Rainbow and clapped a forehoof firmly around her friend's back, bringing her in for a heartwarming (but rather soggy) hug. The pegasus returned the gesture.

In the midst of the moment, Applejack snorted, sniffing something... out of place. "Rainbow, why does your mane smell o'... chocolate?"

"Oh, right. That." Rainbow Dash broke from the hug and pointed a hoof at the cloud cover above Ponyville. Glancing up at the rolling brown clouds in the sky, Applejack suddenly became aware of how chocolatey everything smelled. The earth pony brought out her tongue and tasted the downpour.

"So... Discord's up to his old shenanigans, is that it?" she harrumphed, as if the disturbance of the Ponyville weather cycles as a side effect of the release of the Spirit of Chaos was at best a minor annoyance.

"Umm, not quite," Rainbow began.

A throaty roar from the ground brought their attention back to the danger they were still in.

"Long story. I'll let you know once we're outta this," she finished.

Freddie snarled again, and made a dash for the side of Fluttershy's cottage, clawing desperately up at them, but they were well out of his reach. His agitated thrashing was interrupted by the lightest of taps upon his shoulder.

"Umm... excuse me?"

He turned around to meet with the face of a small yellow pegasus pony.

"I couldn't help but notice that you seem very intent on ripping my friends to shreds. That's not nice, you know."

Applejack and Rainbow stared down, in awe of the epic conflict taking place just below them.

"That's not nice at all. You really think you're a big guy by doing that, don'tcha?" There was a snide assertiveness in her normally dulcet voice.

The bear snorted. Fluttershy furrowed her brow and smiled devilishly at him. She craned her neck sideways, which emitted a small popping sound.

"Well, come on, big fella. Come and get me."

Up on the roof, two jaws hit the thatched roof.

"What are ya... scared?" Fluttershy spread her hooves out and ducked into an aggressive pose, looking the bear dead in the face.

"Come at me, bear."

His patience worn out, Freddie broke into an enraged gallop, his bellows rumbling across the garden. Rainbow Dash and Applejack could only watch in amazement as the plucky yellow pegasus stood her ground.

"Ah sure hope she's got a plan."

"Me too."

Time seemed to pass in slow motion. Fluttershy didn't so much as wince as the bear charged full pelt towards her, drawing closer by the second. The two ponies on the roof leaned forward, their awe mounting fast and their throats dry from the rising tension.

Then, all of a sudden, a soft squeak erupted from below as the roaring bear barrelled into the pegasus and brought her tumbling to the soaking ground.

"Sweet ivory flank of Celestia!" cried Rainbow Dash.

The bear stood over the fallen pegasus and, crouching down, snarled threateningly in her face. Suddenly, two hooves shot out and grabbed him by the paws.

"Not... today...!" Fluttershy growled through clenched teeth, wrestling with all of her might against the bear's heavy paws.

Freddie pushed down on the pony's hooves, bringing them to the ground and allowing him to lean right over Fluttershy's body. Both fighters now lay on the ground, nose to nose, staring death into the other's eyes and growling intensely.

"Who's weak and helpless NOW, huh?!" screamed the pegasus.

"THAT'S IT!" came a cry from above.

In less than a second, Rainbow Dash was off the roof and flying straight towards the grizzly bear cub.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!"

A powerful mid-air kick to the face sent the bear tumbling uncontrollably across the garden, a howl of pain erupting from him.

Fluttershy gasped and stared as Freddie slumped onto his side, well and truly out for the count.

"Rainbow Dash... that was..."

"Amazing? Spectacular? Heroic?" the cyan pegasus suggested, with no small degree of smugness.

"Completely unnecessary!" Fluttershy finished. An anger rose in her voice again.

Rainbow's face fell. "Un...necessary?" she stammered.

"Of course! It's not play fighting if you knock him senseless!"

"Play... fighting?" The realization hit Rainbow Dash like a cartload of manure-covered bricks hitting a fan.

"Poor Freddie is a bear cub! Well, that is, he might be almost fully grown, but he's still harmless! It's built into his nature to fight like that!" She looked at Rainbow Dash forlornly. "He's an orphan. I'm the closest thing to a mother or sister or brother he has. He's full of adrenaline, and if he doesn't get to fight somepony, he fights anypony."

"So that's why you wanted me to 'play' with 'im," concluded Applejack solemnly.

"Exactly."

"Flutters... I'm so sorry. So so sorry," Rainbow mumbled, now appalled at her own behavior. "I had no idea. I thought he was going to kill you."

"Well, you nearly killed him with that kick," chided Fluttershy. "You and Applejack are going to need to bandage him up and put him to bed, now, and apologize to him for being so brash."

With that, the yellow pegasus launched herself into the air. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go and show a dress to Rarity..." Brushing the worst of the chocolate-mud-mixture from her coat, she flittered off towards the center of Ponyville. "...which she'll hate..." she muttered under her breath.

"Play fighting?! UGH! Darn it all!" growled Rainbow Dash, hitting herself in the face with a hoof in despair.

"Yeah, Rainbow, Ah don't mean to bother you or anythin'... but could ya perhaps lower me off this roof? Ah'm gettin' a mite wet up here."

"Was it this book, Twilight? All-Purpose Antidotes and Assistants for All Ailments and Afflictions?" asked Spike.

"No, no, NO!" replied an irate Twilight.

A book went flying over Spike's head as the unicorn tossed it over her shoulder. "Whoa! Alright!" he shouted. "Don't take it out on me!"

"I'm not taking it out on anypony!" the unicorn snarled, turning her head. "You just happen to be in the way all the time!"

"How am I supposed to not be in the way? Just calm the hay down, Twi," Spike replied. "I mean, do you wanna give me two black eyes?" He pointed a claw to his bruised face.

"Oh, quit your whining and help me look for this darned book! And you, Rarity!"

Twilight stopped and looked at the white unicorn lying nonchalantly on the couch, idly perusing one of the hundreds of magical volumes that they had been searching for the last half-hour.

"Rarity... why are you wearing two pairs of glasses?"

This was true. Rarity had her reading glasses on, but had for some reason chosen not to take her ludicrous, thick-rimmed, tape-fastened spectacles off.

"Well, why not?" came the reply.

"Ugh! Never mind. Just stop reading and please help me—"

Rarity's ears suddenly twitched. "Twilight, did you hear something?"

"Umm, knock knock?"

The purple unicorn turned her head from the bookshelves she'd been scanning painstakingly for the book containing the failsafe spell. "Hear what?"

"Ummmmm... knock knock?"

"I daresay somepony is saying 'knock knock' behind your door."

"Aaah, that can be only one pony," Twilight said with a light giggle. "Only Fluttershy is friendly to household fixtures." She trotted towards the door.

"Don't open the door!" came a hushed but serious little voice from behind the door, making Twilight reel backwards in surprise.

"Fluttershy, is that you? Are you okay?" she asked with some uncertainty. "...Aren't you getting wet out there?"

"Umm, yes, but... it's just... I've brought the dress along with me."

"You... you brought Twilight's dress here?!" Rarity exclaimed. "Oh. Oh, my. Oh my oh my oh my." The unicorn's panicked eyes darted around the room and eventually fell on Twilight. "Er, Twilight, would you be a darling, and, um, shoo for a bit?"

"You... don't want me here, Rarity?" asked Twilight, undecided on whether to feel affronted or not.

"Not exactly here. I just... this dress is a super-duper-super-special surprise. Couldn't you just... tippy-trot into that cupboard over there and come out when Fluttershy leaves?"

Fluttershy had overheard this. "I won't be long! Promise!"

Rarity leaned over to Twilight, stopping inches away from her face and pouting desperately. "Pweeeease?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. "Alright... if I must."

She opened the understairs cupboard door with her magic, trotted in, and shut the door behind her.

"Alright, Fluttershy, you can come in now!"

A shy squeak came from behind the door. "Alright, I'm coming in."

...

Fluttershy entered the library towing a four-wheeled trolley, on which lay a mannequin wearing the new gala dress. Angel was standing on the trolley, just under the protective cover. He pulled it off to reveal it to the unicorn on the couch.

"Oh. My word."

It was... something else. Gone was the shiny, metallic fabric that had comprised most it in its previous incarnation. Instead the ensemble was made up of several dark-ish and uninspiring shades of blue, grey and even green. The nocturnal color scheme was still there in a pinch, but the colors had all been sewn together in an almost patchwork style, with the individual sheets of fabric all being irregular shapes. The gorgeous purple trim was absent also - instead the edges of the dress were all comprised of a rainbow of greys, which ranged from pearl white to a dull tone that seemed to blend in with the lusterless military grey of the trolley.

Twilight's cutie mark was still emblazoned upon the hodge-podge of fabric, but not in its signature pink. Each of the six points of the star seemed to be a different hue entirely.

There was no mistake that Fluttershy had arranged the whole thing with the most extreme care and deliberation - the hems were stitched closely and with almost molecular precision. It was undeniably a dress... just... no dress that had really ever been made before. Ever.

For a short while, Rarity couldn't find her voice as she continued to gaze helplessly at the embroidery before her.

"Wow. You've... certainly added your own... touch," she eventually settled on.

"Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me!" whimpered the terrified pegasus, almost inaudibly.

"Oh, Fluttershy... darling." Rarity's voice was empty and far away.

The pegasus winced, fell to the floor behind the trolley, front hooves over her eyes, and quivered uncontrollably.

"It's... it's..."

Fluttershy couldn't bear to hear the verdict. She shut her eyes as tight as they could go and stretched her whole forelegs over her face to hide herself.

"It's... it's... absolutely fabulous!" Stars shone vividly in Rarity's eyes as she gasped in awe.

Fluttershy's eyes nearly popped out of her head. She stood up and shoved a hoof into an ear, attempting to dislodge whatever was in there that had surely twisted whatever Rarity had really just said into such a firm statement of approval.

"Are you... are you serious?" she spluttered in confusion.

"Yes, of course I'm serious! My my, this is a fashion statement if ever I saw one!"

"You're... not devastated that it looks hardly anything like the old— umm, I mean, the way it did before?"

"Oh, horseapples to the way it looked before. What was I thinking? Purple and blue? Why, the two just don't go together!"

"Umm... if you say so."

"I won't say too much about it, but only because Twilight's just in that cupboard and may overhear. But Fluttershy, this ensemble is simply divine. Marvellous! Stupendous! Magnifique! You've outdone yourself... I daresay you've outdone me." She couldn't help but add a little childish pout to this statement. "Please continue with it! I'm so eager to see the finished product to see what else you can do with it!"

"Umm, alright, Rarity! Th-thank you so much!"

"No - thank you, my darling."

"Alright! I'll... I'll be going now!" With that, the baffled pegasus turned around, motioning to Angel. The rabbit draped the cover back over the dress again and they both shuffled out of the library towards the boutique.

"You can come out now, Twilight!" chirped Rarity.

Almost immediately the cupboard flew open and Twilight Sparkle re-entered the room, glad to finally breathe fresh air again. "Thanks, it was starting to get stuffy in there."

"Sorry, darling. But you'll consider it a small price to pay when you finally see this dress!"

Twilight hoped to Celestia she would.

A few thousand feet above the ground, two pegasus ponies in factory uniform blistered through the air. Blue flashing lights adorned their helmets, alerting onlookers to keep well clear of their pursuit of a certain pink pony piloting the bizarre flying machine ahead of them.

"How is she even pedalling that fast?" shouted the orange pegasus, whose name was Cloud Fox.

"Probably all that sugar," replied his partner, Sky Falcon.

The two stallions grit their teeth and beat their wings furiously, increasing their speed. Pinkie Pie, whose legs were already a blur, went faster also.

"I said I was sorry! Can't I just go home?"

"Can't let you do that, earth pony!" yelled Sky Falcon.

The flying machine carrying the pink earth pony whirred loudly as it flew at high speed throughout Cloudsdale. Resident pegasus ponies stared at it, shortly before sealing themselves away in their homes in fear for their own safety.

"I just can't shake these guys!" Pinkie yelped to herself. A look of determination crossed her face as she focused all of her weight back in the seat of her flying machine. Slowly it started to tilt backward, and ascend into the atmosphere.

"She's climbing!" cried Cloud Fox.

The whirlygig continued to tilt backward until it appeared to be climbing completely vertically. The two pursuing pegasi watched in amazement as the flying machine continued to ascend into the clouds far above their heads, and sailed directly overhead in the opposite direction. They could only stare as the pony in the pilot seat appeared to be perfectly upside-down and yet did not seem to be affected by the universal law of gravitation.

"What the heck?!"

Pinkie Pie shot them a casual wave as she somersaulted sideways and continued flying in the opposite direction.

Sky Falcon stopped staring and flicked his silver mane out of his face. He growled. "No way! I don't believe it!"

He and Fox immediately resumed their pursuit, wings pumping furiously in an effort to regain the distance between them and Pinkie Pie.

"Hee hee! Those silly ponies!" giggled the mischievous mare, slowing her pedal and mopping her brow.

"Give it up! You can't win!" came a voice from behind her.

"Uh oh. Bogey on my tail!"

The pink pony's frantic pedalling pace picked up again, and she shot forward at a seemingly impossible rate. Further she climbed into the heavens, the pegasus pair behind her hot on her tail.

"She's going into the chocolate clouds!" exclaimed Cloud Fox. The two ponies spread their wings and glided upwards, eyes locked on the pink mare's contraption as it disappeared into the heaving mass of vaporous chocolate above Ponyville with a soft pomf. They stopped just in front of the entrance to the clouds.

"Is it safe to go in there, Fox?"

"I don't see why not. It's just chocolate, Falco."

With a simultaneous nod of agreement, both ponies plunged into the depths of the chocolate clouds.

"Oh, sweet sun-kissed rump of Celestia!"

"Fox! Are you okay?" Falco span his head to turn towards his friend, but he began to panic as he realized they couldn't see each other in the dense cloud.

"Oh! It's so sweet!" came a cry from his friend.

The other pony opened his mouth to call out in response, but as he did so, an overpowering sensation touched his tongue. At first he recoiled in shock as his tastebuds were assailed by the rich taste of sweet, sweet chocolate, but after he smacked his lips a few times, his unease dispelled, and he began to take in the full experience that was soon flooding his senses.

"Dear Luna. It's like I'm... tasting the air!" he squealed ecstatically as more chocolate raindrops filled his mouth.

"It's amazing!" shouted Cloud Fox in return.

"Isn't it just?!" cried out a certain high-pitched voice from deeper within the cloud.

The two pegasi snapped out of their reveries, and shot into the cloud in a bid to find the infernal pony that seemed to be outsmarting them at every turn. However, they were flying blind. They could barely see a few inches in front of them due to the thickness of the cloud.

"Falco! We need to regroup!" called out Fox to the sky-blue pony, who tilted his ears to meet with the sound of his cohort.

"Fox, I can't even see your helmet light!"

"I'm over here... follow the sound of my voice!"

As Falco flittered gingerly through the cloud, he couldn't help but hold his tongue out of his mouth like a panting dog, lapping up the chocolatey goodness of the cloud which was pouring onto it, making his tastebuds tingle with delight.

"Oh, this stuff is so good..."

"Over here, Falco!"

Falco followed the voice of his friend, but all the while he kept opening and closing his mouth like a demented guppy. "Um num num num num..."

"I think I can see you, Falco, just... man, this is some really good chocol—"

Suddenly, with a crash and a smack, two bodies smashed together.

"Ow!"

"Oof!"

Cloud Fox and Sky Falcon opened their eyes, and in horrific realization stared at one another.

Their mouths were locked.

"Ack!"

"EGH!"

They immediately broke away from each other, emitting noises of disgust and embarrassment. When they were done coughing and spluttering and wiping their mouths out with their forehooves, they stared at one another in awkward silence for a few seconds.

Eventually Sky Falcon coughed. "Uhh, heh... good chocolate, isn't it?"

"Let's just get after that stupid earth pony, Falco."

...

"Whew! I think I lost 'em," Pinkie Pie sighed as she exited the chocolate cloud. "I think I'd better make my way back to Ponyville."

No sooner had she relaxed, than the sun was suddenly blotted out above her. Glancing up, she could just about make out the silhouettes of two winged ponies chasing after her as they bore down on her flying machine. Forcing her weight downward again, Pinkie Pie now steadily increased her rate of descent.

"Drop altitude!" commanded Cloud Fox.

Pinkie Pie continued to spin all four of her hooves faster and faster, until one could scarcely make out that she had hooves at all. Her flying machine, now assisted by gravity, was descending at blinding speed.

Her pursuers were becoming fatigued, perspiration flying off of their foreheads. The blue-coated stallion turned to his friend. "Fox, are we gonna make it out of this one?"

Cloud Fox shot a glance to Sky Falcon. "Never give up, Falco. Trust your instincts."

Falco looked sheepishly at Fox. "Well... just in case we don't..."

A hoof shot to his mouth. "Finish that sentence and it will be the BIGGEST cli—"

The two pegasi were distracted suddenly by the whirlygig in front of them suddenly making an impossible mid-air maneuvre, shooting upwards into the sky, again the pilot defying the most fundamental laws of physics as she refused to tumble out of her seat.

"Sorry to jet, but I'm in a hurry!"

"Mother of Cele—"

It suddenly came to the attention of the two ponies that they were alarmingly close to ground - and still flying at a now unstoppable pace.

"OOOH SH—"

The two helpless ponies crashed into the middle of Ponyville's central park, skidding uncontrollably and uprooting the turf as they tumbled helplessly over each other, finally arriving in a dazed and crumpled heap next to a park bench.

"—OOT."

"Ooh... mommy..." moaned Sky Falcon.

"Ugh! Get this guy off me!"

An elderly pony sitting on the bench looked up from his newspaper. He shot them a smirk.

"Heheh. That's Pinkie Pie for ya, fellers."

Mr Waddle chuckled quietly and resumed reading his paper. Cloud Fox groaned and headbutted the ground in despair, which didn't do much for his headache.

"Fox...?"

"What," came the annoyed grunt of a reply.

"If it's any consolation..." began Sky Falcon, hesitating for just a moment.

"...You're a great kisser."

Author's Note:

Hehe. Overall, this chapter was pretty fun to write. :P Pity it took me so long. YAY PROCRASTINATION.

Oh, so many mentions of Celestia in this chapter. She's not even in this story!

As for that last section... yeah, sorry. I have no idea either.

Conclusion

"I really don't get it, Angel," the bewildered butter-colored pony said to her fluffy companion, as they wheeled the trolley and dress back into Rarity's studio.

"Why... or how did Rarity like the dress? I'm no fashionista, and even I can tell that nopony, least of all Twilight, would be seen dead in it!"

The rabbit was flummoxed too, but not as to why the awful dress he and Fluttershy were standing before had gone down without a hitch - in his tiny little bunny rabbit mind, he was rebelling. It defied all reason and logic how he had still not been fed since breakfast. It was by now well past his lunch-time, and the gourmet cookbook that Fluttershy kept had been singing sweet, sugary serenades to him from the other half of Ponyville. His stomach issued yet another verbal complaint.

Fluttershy turned back towards the abominable embroidery standing on the trolley. "Well, I suppose I'd better try and finish this thing. At least Rarity told me I was on the right lines. Oh, I just hope Twilight doesn't completely loathe it."

Angel grimaced at the prospect of being locked in this wretched studio with the overburdened pegasus any longer. Now motivated only by his hunger, his anger towards his oblivious caregiver reached a boil, and he leapt atop her head.

"Oh, Angel, I'm sorry but I really have to-"

Before she could explain herself, Fluttershy found herself shrieking in the pain she was gripped by as the rebellious rodent sank his incisors into her streaky pink mane, yanking hard at the collection of hairs in his jaws.

"ANGEL! I— OW! I'M NOT— EEK— COTTON CANDY! WE'VE— OWCH! BEEN THROUGH THIS!"

Angel was indifferent to this, however, and simply continued tugging ravenously at the pegasus's mane. She ran about the studio desperately trying to shake herself free of her passenger, who simply dug his claws into her coat in order to cement himself to his perch. By now Fluttershy was fighting back tears as the pain raised itself to new heights.

"ANGEL, PLEASE...!"

Her formerly silky smooth mane was becoming disheveled and ravaged with bite marks. She kicked and shrieked as the rabbit made his way down her back, pulling harder as he did so.

In the midst of her agony, something fierce flickered in Fluttershy's eye, and in a brief moment of twisted inspiration, she found herself now perfectly aware of how to contend with the pernicious pet rabbit that was now perched on her hindquarters.

Suddenly throwing her forelegs up in the air, she allowed gravity to take the reins as she fell backwards and very deliberately crashed onto the studio floor onto her rump.

By this point the yanking had completely stopped - so too had the painful claw-digging. Smirking, she got up from the floor and observed a dizzied and very flat-looking Angel on the floor. She ran a hoof proudly through her ruined mane and nursed the claw marks adorning the bridge of her back.

Then with the hot, fiery fury of a thousand exploding suns, she yelled: "YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE HUTCH-RAT!"

Angel, in his comically-flattened state, could only stare up at this outburst and thank Celestia that his vision was sufficiently blurred to spare him from the full horror that was Fluttershy's wrathful, unblinking face.

"NO-ONE TREATS ME LIKE THAT. NO-ONE. Now I understand that you're HUNGRY, but you don't get FOOD by being VIOLENT. I'm rather BUSY right now because I have a FRIEND IN NEED, and I DON'T have time to waste on BIG JERKS trying to PULL ME AWAY from that!"

The agitated pegasus peeled the stunned rabbit off of the floor, punted him out of the studio door with a quick kick of a foreleg, and relished in the clatter of his painful-sounding descent of the stairs.

Still frowning, Fluttershy exhaled deeply and shut her eyes for a few seconds. Despite her attempt to calm down, her anger with the audacious rabbit did not subside, for her body was still stinging with pain - in fact, a sense of relief washed over her, as she realized that she'd just done exactly what she'd needed to do for quite a while now. She reflected on how it wasn't normally within her nature to bring deliberate harm to an animal, but the little whelp had really been asking for it.

"You'll apologize to him later. Right now, focus on what's actually important," she said to herself through gritting teeth.

Closing and locking the studio door, Fluttershy brushed a few errant bangs of chewed-up mane out of her face, returned to the lockstitch, and very angrily recommenced sewing.

"Twilight! I found it!" cried the baby dragon triumphantly. "Fantastically Fast Failsafes for Undoing Unfortunate Upsets!" He'd no sooner finished speaking than he found himself enveloped in a cocoon of magenta magic. "Whoooa!"

Spike was catapulted by a certain telekinetic force from his perch on the stepladder onto the floor of the treehouse, landing facefirst. The tome he'd been holding onto skidded across the room and was swiftly picked up by Twilight.

"OH THANK THE STARS, FINALLY!" she shrieked.

The poor unicorn had run herself ragged in her frantic search for the spellbook in question, and Spike and Rarity had proven to be minimally helpful. With another burst of magic, she thrust the library door open, and strode into Ponyville heroically.

"Ponyville! Despair not!" she shouted grandly to the town. "I'll take care of this!"

She levitated the book in front of her and quickly turned to the page containing the weather-neutralizing spell she was familiar with. But she immediately realized something was off.

She sniffed the air, and the smell of chocolate was still lingering - unusual as that was, however, that wasn't what was wrong. She glanced at the ground and noted how she was treading in a puddle of liquid chocolate - again, strange but to be expected, given the recent environmental anomaly brought about by Pinkie Pie. What felt so wrong?

She brought her muzzle away from the book and noticed that she was receiving some odd looks and the rollings of eyes from the folk of Ponyville as they walked by. Twilight winced under their gazes, and noted the complete lack of panic in the atmosphere and the nonchalant gaits of the Ponyvillians as they trotted about their daily business... as well as the presence of Celestia's sun high in the completely cloudless sky.

She looked at the book, and noticed that she'd expected it to look at least a bit wet by now.

For a moment her brain couldn't process how everything was so normal.

"I... but... what happened?!" she squealed in frustration.

"The chocolate storm's gone, Twilight," replied Spike as he joined her outside on what was now a warm and perfectly regular summer's afternoon.

"Gone?!" cried Twilight. "But... where'd it go?"

"Well, the clouds ran out of chocolate rain, darling," called out Rarity from her place on the couch. "That's how clouds work."

Spike, with his incredibly acute reptilian sense of hearing, could swear he heard the shrill sound of a boiling kettle coming from within Twilight's head. The distressed mare's face began to turn from purple to a hot shade of crimson.

"Twilight? You okay?" the baby dragon dared to ask.

"UUUGGGHHH!!!" screamed Twilight in a fit of anxious frustration. This action caused her to lose her telekinetic grip on the spellbook, and her outward burst of rage had sent it flying through the air. Twilight's and Spike's eyes followed the tome, helplessly watching as it seemed to descend in super slow-motion towards the ground.

*SPLASH*

Right into a puddle of chocolate.

Spread-side down.

"SWEET CELESTIA'S TUSH!"

Twilight promptly covered her mouth in shock at her own outburst of profanity.

Spike, too, blushed, but merely mumbled, "...maybe you shoulda spread some butter on the covers."

In a certain top-secret clubhouse just on the outskirts of the village, the rain that had fallen had already thoroughly drenched the wooden planks it was built from, and had filled the interior with a smell that could only be described as "wet wood soaked in chocolate" - musty and unpleasant, but still oddly tantalising.

It was in this damp wooden house that three fillies now sat miserably on their haunches.

"So much fer our alchemy cutie marks," mumbled Apple Bloom.

"Ohhh, I don't even care that our stupid experiment didn't get us cutie marks," groaned Sweetie Belle. "It's ruined everypony's lives!"

Scootaloo merely stared down at the piece of paper that they had been drawing on for the last ten minutes, a crayon still in her downturned mouth. On the sheet was a simple circle diagram of Ponyville's main landmarks - Sweet Apple Acres had been drawn at the top, with an arrow labelled "Applejack" pointing to a drawing of Fluttershy's cottage, then one indicating Fluttershy's transition to the Carousel Boutique, then Rarity's to the library, Twilight's to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie's to the weather factory above the village, and Rainbow Dash's back to Sweet Apple Acres, completing the absurd six-pointed cycle of tragedy.

"Ya got that right," the forlorn pegasus filly said, letting the crayon droop out of her mouth and fall against the wooden floor of the clubhouse.

"Okay, guys. I can't take it anymore," Sweetie Belle sighed. "We really need to own up to my sister. Tell her the whole story. Tell her we're sorry and that nothing like this will ever happen again, we Pinkie-Pie-swear."

"No, Sweetie! We can't! We're in it too deep!" yelped Apple Bloom, dreading what her sister would have to say once Rarity forwarded the cause of it all to Applejack, who, it just struck her, was presently getting mauled by a bear for all she knew. "D'ya know how much trouble we'd get in?"

"We can still play it safe. This might all blow over sooner or later!" added Scootaloo firmly, though with some degree of uncertainty.

"We've been waiting for it to blow over too long! It's just blown up! Like the pig!" yelled Sweetie Belle. "My sister has gone coo-coo, Applejack's been beaten up by a bear, Rainbow Dash has ruined Sweet Apple Orchard, Twilight's been terrorized by the twins, Pinkie Pie's been causing coco-flavored clouds, and Fluttershy's been forced to finish a frazzled dress! We can help set things right, instead of just letting them get even worse!"

"But what could we possibly gain fr'm this?" asked Apple Bloom with a frown.

"It's not about gain! It's not about cutie marks! It's about doing what's right!"

"Your sister raised you to be a real doormat, y'know, Sweetie?" chided Scootaloo.

"Oh yeah? Well you're... incorrigible!" huffed Sweetie Belle, promptly marching out of the clubhouse while Scootaloo just stared at her.

"...I stand corrected. She's definitely a dictionary, not a doormat," she said to Apple Bloom, shaking her head.

"I'm going to the library to set things right! You're welcome to join me if you want!" the unicorn filly called out indignantly before disappearing down the clubhouse stepladder.

Apple Bloom looked at her pegasus friend as they both weighed Sweetie's words. "Ah'm goin' too," she decided eventually. "Come on, Scoots! If we hurry, it'll jus' be Twahlight and Rarity on their own! ...Might not be so bad..." she added, smiling sheepishly as her own words failed to convince her.

Scootaloo let out a heavy breath of despair. "I've got a really bad feeling about this."

"Well, hay, maybe if ya hadn't tackled the poor li'l guy, we wouldn't be in this mess right now!"

"Maybe not! But I didn't see you doing much about the situation! You got chased up a tree? Really? You work with trees all day long, I thought you had them figured out!"

"Ah don't usually work with bears, let me remind ya!"

"But you work with cows! They're kinda like... milk bears."

"Rainbow, d'you realize exactly what yer sayin'?"

"Look, let's change the subject. Twilight wanted to see us all, and you and Pinkie Pie are the only ones she hasn't yet."

"All'a us? Somethin' to do with the chocolate rain?"

"In a roundabout sorta way, yeah."

Eventually coming to a stop just outside Twilight's library, the two friends came across Spike. He was vigorously waving a book in front of him. "...Do you two have any idea how hard it is to get chocolate milk out of a book? I've been trying to dry this thing out for ages!" he complained. "It's all soaked into the spine and..."

"Spike! How are you getting along with the book?" asked Twilight Sparkle, suddenly opening her front door and nearly stumbling into Rainbow Dash and Applejack. "Oh, sorry, girls. Pardon my nerves - it's just been a bit hectic over here. You know of the chocolate rain, I take it."

"Sure do. Ah've still got the taste in mah mouth," Applejack affirmed, smacking her lips together.

"Speaking of which, this thing isn't gonna get any drier, Twilight," Spike grouched, taking hold of the massive, chocolate-saturated volume of failsafe spells and taking it back into the library.

"Applejack, you and I have much to discuss. Most of it's about Rarity, as it happens."

"Oh, right, Rarity. Ah heard about the fire - how's she holdin' up?"

"Not too good. She's acting a little... well, weird is really the only way I can describe it. You can come in and see for yourself, but please, don't laugh at her, don't make any sudden moves around her, and above all else, do not mention pigs."

"Pigs? Why in tarna—"

"Just... don't. Take my word for it."

"Uhhh... okay, sugarcube. Lead the way."

Twilight turned around to lead her two friends inside, when suddenly Rainbow Dash's ear twitched. She looked towards the sky. "You guys hear that?"

The other two ponies stopped, and looked at each other absently. "Ah can't hear a darn thing, sugarcube. Ah figure you're the one who's most familiar with sounds that come from up there," replied Applejack.

"Yep," said Rainbow Dash, grimacing as the familiarity of the sound started to dawn on her.

"What's the matter, Rainbow? What do you hear?" inquired Twilight.

"It's the sound of things going from 'messed up' to 'super messed up'."

From above them, there suddenly came a shrill scream that got louder as whatever was making it approached at a ludicrous speed. The gathered ponies ducked out of the way just in time to avoid a certain pink pony's flying machine meeting the ground with an almighty crash. Pinkie Pie, thoroughly dizzied and bruised, fell off of the seat of the contraption with all the grace and elegance of a hungover wombat falling out of bed.

"Oh, hey Twilight!" Pinkie Pie slurred as she clambered onto her hooves and attempted to steady herself, "and hey to you too, Twilight!"

The unicorn frowned. "There's only one of me, Pinkie."

The pink mare squinted at Twilight, and brought a hoof over one eye as the other continued to stare piercingly.

"Oh, so there is."

All of a sudden Pinkie found herself flung to the ground, straddled by an irate blue pegasus.

"PINKIE! WHAT THE HECK, GIRL?!" Rainbow Dash yelled, pushing her muzzle into Pinkie's face.

"Easy there, Dashie," said Applejack, moving forward in case she had to restrain Rainbow by chomping on her tail.

"Where exactly have you been? What did you do? What happened?" asked Twilight frantically.

"Oh, well it started when Dashie asked me to take care of the weather for her, and I thought 'well I'm an earth pony, so I can't walk on clouds', so I took my Pinkiecopter up for a ride because I haven't used that thing since Gilda trashed it, and I flew up into Cloudsdale and they said 'Are you the pony that will doom us all?' or something, and I said 'Yes!' and one of them made a frowny face but gave me a shiny uniform anyway, and they led me to this giant machine that spits out clouds and I thought, wow wouldn't it be totally awesome if they spat out chocolate, and luckily I had some superjumbo bars on me and it seemed a shame to not eat them, but I threw them in the big machine and *POOF* there were suddenly chocolate clouds, but this kind of got the weather ponies upset and these two meanie-meanpants chased me, and we had a superfuntacular dogfight in a big chocolate raincloud where I did a bunch of barrel rolls and then I made them kiss..."

Twilight had already heard enough. "...PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!"

"...TWILIGHT ELIZABETH SPARKLE!" the peppy pink pony parroted back.

This made Twilight shrink. Before she could retort, Rainbow Dash stepped forward again.

"Pinkie! You had one job! Don't screw up the weather. The admins are gonna have my hide for this! They'll never trust me again! And I'm pretty sure they'll pin up a big picture of you in the office under the caption 'Do Not Admit This Pony.'"

"I didn't screw up the weather!" protested Pinkie. "The weather ponies were shooting water into the sky! I just thought, why not chocolate?"

"Chocolate is not supposed to fall from the sky. That's rain's job. Or hail. Or snow. Or the occasional bird. Not chocolate."

"Chocolate rain is a slightly browner and more delicious rain, but it's still rain," argued Pinkie. "Hey, I didn't mess up the weather schedule. The pegasus ponies wanted rainclouds, so they got rainclouds. Just of a certain flavor."

"But... you..." Rainbow stuttered as she struggled to find flaws in Pinkie's peculiarly sensible logic.

"Pinkie, you did cause a bit of an upset down here," added Twilight. "The ponies thought that Discord had returned."

"Even though we turned him to stone? And he's just sitting in the Canterlot Sculpture Garden?"

"Not all ponies have Pinkie Sense, Pinkie. Please try and remember that."

"Ah figured you wanted to see Pinkie and Ah, Twilight?" inquired Applejack in an attempt to steer the conversation back to sensible ground. Twilight sighed.

"Yes, come on in, you guys. We really have to talk."

Twilight turned back to Pinkie Pie as Rainbow Dash and Applejack trotted into the library. "Rarity's not too good, Pinkie. She probably won't respond well to sudden noises, so you might wanna keep quiet for her."

"'Quiet' is my middle name, Twilight!"

"It's not, Pinkie. It's 'Diane'. Or 'Responsibility'. Or whatever it actually is."

"I'll roll with 'Quiet', if that's what Rarity wants."

Twilight sighed again. "Okay, enough about middle names. I don't know how you even know mine."

Pinkie shrugged smugly. "...I didn't, 'til just now."

Twilight stared open-mouthed at the pink menace, then emitted a painful groan into her hoof. "Pinkie, do not rustle my jimmies. I have had quite enough to deal with today. Now please, come inside."

"Isn't it wonderful, Applejack?" Rarity squealed, squeezing her face into a ridiculous grin.

"Sounds mighty fine," replied Applejack, somewhat sourly as she reflected on the hard time Freddie had given her.

"That we all agreed to do each others' jobs on such short notice!" the couchridden unicorn continued giddily. "It just goes to show how close we all are as friends!"

"I agree, it's such a super fun thing to have done! Even though we... didn't really mean to do it," agreed Pinkie Pie.

"Ah wouldn't exactly call watchin' over those animals 'super fun'," Applejack groused.

"Too bad, AJ. Applebucking the orchard was totally sweet!" squealed Rainbow Dash, kicking her hind hooves into the air enthusiastically as she hovered above the others.

"Yeah, you an' Ah are gonna hafta have a talk about that later," the farm pony snarled.

"And don't even get me started on the Cake twins..." Twilight mused.

"Awww, it's not their fault they're a hoofful and a half!" defended Pinkie, bouncing up and down. "They don't just trust anypony, see. But they trust their Auntie Pinkie, because she knows responsibility!" She said this while absent-mindedly bouncing upon Spike's tail. Twilight grabbed her in mid-bounce with her magic, allowing Spike his tail back, before setting her down again. Pinkie smiled nervously and blushed.

"I think Pinkie's point is that it doesn't really matter how badly it went for all of us," interjected Rarity.

"Not all of us," smirked Rainbow Dash, earning another dangerous frown from Applejack.

"...Not all of us," repeated Rarity. "I'm saying - Pinkie's saying - the thought is what counts."

"I'd really prefer that we weren't in this mess to begin with," sighed Twilight. "If it weren't for the fire, and the Gala, and... everything else! Ugh!"

Pinkie Pie put on a puzzled face. "...There was a fire?"

Twilight let out an exasperated groan and trotted closer to Pinkie, away from Rarity's earshot. "Yes, Pinkie. At Rarity's. A lot of her work was lost - thankfully not the Gala dress that Fluttershy's finishing for me, but her studio was otherwise burnt to a char. Which reminds me that I still haven't found that darn restoration spell!" She started pacing worriedly around the library. "I'm still looking for the spell to bring back that Astronomer's Almanac! Why'd it have to get burnt? Celestia's gonna tear me a new one!"

"Relax, Twi," assured Applejack. "Ah don't think Celestia'll be all that angry with you that one of her books accidentally got burned in a house fire."

"I don't want to take the chance!" replied Twilight, raising her voice again. "The books from the Royal Canterlot Library are precious relics. Burning a book, accident or not, is like... desecrating Celestia's property! It's tantamount to sacrilege! You might as well dragonmail her a big flaming bag of..."

"Okay, we get the picture," interrupted Rainbow Dash, before flying down and laying a comforting hoof on her friend's shoulder. "Cool your jets, Twi. If you need help finding this spell, we're all here."

"Well, I guess this shouldn't take an hour if you guys help me look for it, and then you can all return to your work."

"Our... old work, or our new work?" asked Applejack.

Twilight stopped and thought for a moment. "Well, it seems absurd to go back to our new duties, now that we all know what's going on, but I still have to take care of Rarity. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Rainbow, you search high. AJ and Pinkie, you search low. Spike, you're with me. Rarity... you..." she regarded the absurdly-dressed, supposedly-disabled unicorn lounging languidly on her couch, sipping tea, and gave a sigh. "...just do your thing."

Spike approached Twilight with the stepladder, and propped it up against the wall while Applejack and Pinkie began scanning the lower shelves of the library, and Rainbow Dash shot towards the uppermost bookshelves.

"So... what do you think, Twilight? About Rarity?" whispered Spike as he climbed the ladder to examine the higher shelves.

"Honestly, I think it's just a Rarity thing. She'll get over it," Twilight whispered back.

"See, I don't know. She's into some really after-dark stuff."

Twilight's brain did a three-sixty. "...After-dark?"

"Yeah, y'know. Weird. Experimental. Out there."

The lilac unicorn exhaled. "Spike, that's avant-garde. 'After-dark' is something entirely different."

"Wh—"

"When you're older," she said briskly, returning to the search for the book.

"Twilight, it's not up here," called Rainbow Dash from above, having just finished scanning the very top shelves of the library.

"Rainbow, I'm sorry, I wouldn't exactly call that a thorough search. We are looking for a particular spell. Did you actually look inside the books?"

"Well... no. But that'd take forever!"

"Not if we all do the same."

"Look, maybe you don't actually have the book anymore."

"Why wouldn't I have it anymore? Do you think I took it back? Oh wait, I'm the horsefeathering librarian!"

"Yeesh. Alright," Rainbow mumbled, shrinking from Twilight's choice of language. "I'll have another look, but I really think we're wasting our time here. You really need a better filing system."

"What are we looking for again?" asked Pinkie Pie innocently.

"For the dozenth time, we are looking for a restoration spell!" Twilight's patience was virtually down to its last iota.

"What about that book down there?" replied Pinkie, indicating a large, slightly moist and chocolatey-smelling tome lying on the floor of the library beside Rarity's couch.

"I just pulled that book down, for something else," said Twilight, recalling her earlier embarrassment. "It's a spellbook of weather-neutralizing spells and all that kinda stuff. I didn't need it in the end." She glared hotly at Pinkie Pie, as though the pink pony had psychically known how long it had taken her to find the book, and calculated the exact amount of chocolate to spread over Ponyville before she could find it.

"Huh. What's it called?" inquired Pinkie, leaning forward to read the print on the book's cover.

Twilight snorted. "Fantastically Fast Failsafes for—" The dischuffed unicorn stopped mid-sentence, as the little hamster-wheel in her head started spinning the other way.

"—Undoing Unfortunate Upsets," finished Rarity, turning to the frazzled Twilight and regarding her with a look of perfect calm that Twilight could've easily interpreted as unbearable smugness. Her other friends also ceased their searching and turned to her.

"Darling, I think there's a fairly safe bet that the spell you're looking for has been right under your muzzle this whole time."

Twilight snorted again, took hold of the book in a grasp of magic, flipped it open and started flicking through. After a few seconds, she stopped.

Basic Material Restoration
A rightful remedy for the repair, revival, rejuvenation, recovery or restoration of ruined relics

"Fine. Okay, so you were right, Rarity. You win. Happy?"

"Honestly, dear, it's not about winning. I just don't want you to stress yourself out needlessly," the ivory unicorn said, laying back down onto the couch and making no effort to disguise how perfectly at ease she was by comparison.

"Hey! I'm the one who's supposed to be watching over you!" Twilight shouted. "You're supposed to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder!"

"Honestly, Twilight, I think I'm fine. You're the one who needs a good mud bath and a massage."

Twilight narrowed her eyes at the unicorn sitting on her couch. "Flying pigs."

Rarity shrieked and brought a cushion over her face to hide her terror. Proud at having made her point, Twilight turned to her assistant. "Spike, bring me the Almanac." The baby dragon obeyed her command, and darted off into the kitchen, returning promptly with the ruined Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac.

"Why were you keeping it in the kitchen, Spike?" the unicorn inquired, bemused.

"I draped it over the toaster. It actually makes for a more stable step-stool when I want to reach the cupboard."

Twilight frowned. "Spike, in future, you don't get to use a fine piece of Canterlot literature as a step-stool," she chided, snatching the messy book from her assistant's grasp.

"Sorry, Twi, but... that's basically all it's good for right now. Aside from maybe a doorstop..." He shut up when he received a hoof to the back of the skull. "...Point taken."

Depositing it on the floor before her, Twilight looked at the charcoaly mess of parchment that was once one of the most precious books from the Royal Canterlot Library. It brought a tear to her eye to see such destruction befall a perfectly good piece of academic literature. It was a scholastic catastrophe. A scholastrophe.

"Oh, Celestia, if this doesn't work..." Twilight yelped to herself, charging her horn and reading the directions from the spellbook. It was a complicated process, for in the case of a destroyed book, it was more than just cleaning some ash away - it was essentially a spell for restoring an object to a previous moment in time. Starswirl the Bearded would've been proud of her for even trying this one.

Twilight shut her eyes tightly, not daring to even look upon the tome as she concentrated hard on the complete rfestoration of all 248 of its annihilated pages, mentally arranging the magichlorians building in her horn in such a way to—

In the ensuing five seconds or so, no one was quite sure what exactly happened. First, there was an abrupt slam from the front door, as something burst through with a shout that caused Twilight to jump and inadvertently release her spell, creating a purple stream of magic that bounced around the interior of the library faster than the eye could follow it before it impacted the couch, toppling it and the white unicorn lying on it with a high-pitched scream and a crash.

In the five seconds after that, everyone just looked around, completely and utterly clueless as what had just transpired.

Twilight, horrified at the prospect of her spell having just backfired, became fixated on the ceiling directly above her. "I dare not even think what just happened. Somepony please explain. I am not turning around until then."

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie regarded the scene with extreme puzzlement and concern for the fact that somehow, Twilight's couch was on its back and Rarity was nowhere to be seen. Fluttershy, meanwhile, was standing in the doorway of the library looking a horrible combination of distraught and thoroughly peeved.

"Ah think somepony's here to see you, Twahlight," offered Applejack.

"TWILIGHT, YOUR DRESS. IT'S FINISHED. AND YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT!!!"

The frantic pegasus was standing beside a mannequin from Rarity's boutique, which had a positively abysmally-composed dress upon it. Twilight, meanwhile, refused to look anywhere apart from the fascinating construct of cobwebs above her that she was forcing herself to examine.

"Oh... my head..." came a wail from behind the couch.

"Y'okay over there, Rarity?" asked Applejack cautiously.

"Please tell me she's okay," squeaked Twilight, her neck still frozen in place.

"Look, I'm fine, I don't know what you're all so worried about— EEK!!!" Everyone flinched from the scream she emitted. "Oh no! Oh no! My mane!"

"Oh, Celestia, what's happened to your mane now?" cried Rainbow Dash, almost dreading the answer.

"Still not looking," said Twilight in a petrified tone.

"It's... so tacky! It's awful! It's just suddenly turned the most ridiculous shade of indigo! And these curls! Oh my stars! They couldn't possibly be any more pretentious!"

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie exchanged glances. Fluttershy was staring at the ensemble of confusion before her, wondering why she was being ignored.

"RARITY, THE DRESS IS HERE. AND IT'S PERFECT. NOT EYE-BURNINGLY TERRIBLE. NOT HAPHAZARDLY THROWN TOGETHER AND RUSHED. IT'S. PERFECT."

Applejack regarded the dress sitting on top of the trolley, and whispered to Rainbow Dash. "Ah think she was a bit out of her depth with this one."

"No kidding."

"Oh no, Fluttershy!" cried Rarity, bobbing her head up from behind the couch, revealing her mane and tail in all their previously purple and beautifully-coiffured glory.

Spike walked into the room at this point to see what all the noise was about. His heart almost leapt out of his chest when he saw his divine Rarity back to her usual self again. "Rarity! Your mane's back to normal! Oh, thank Celestia!" he jumped forward and gave his love a joyous hug around the neck.

"Oh please, Spike. I told you I hate it this way!" she replied, pushing the little dragon away. "Why, Fluttershy? Why did you bring it here? I told you to keep it a surprise from Twilight!"

"I haven't actually looked yet, as it happens," said Twilight, very nervously, not daring to look in the direction of the enraged pegasus standing in her doorway. She was half-tempted to check to see if Rarity's mane had indeed returned to normal, but Fluttershy's sudden entrance had left her shaken and she stayed firmly glued to the spot.

"You might wanna keep it that way, Twi," warned Rainbow Dash.

"BUT SHE'LL LOVE IT. IT'S FABULOUS. RARITY SAID SO HERSELF," Fluttershy hyperventilated.

Spike gazed upon the dress that his adoptive sister would apparently be wearing to the Grand Galloping Gala the following weekend. He was by no stretch of the imagination an authority on what was fashionable in a dress, but the... thing that was sitting on top of the trolley before him almost made him feel physically sick. He walked up to Twilight to stage-whisper in her ear.

"Twilight... I really don't think..." was as far as he got before he caught Fluttershy's eye and was met with the dreaded Stare. His mind crumbled beneath Fluttershy's powerful glare, and he froze up perfectly, collapsing to the ground without a sound at his sister's hooves.

"TWILIGHT. LOOK THIS WAY." Fluttershy was breathing heavily through her nose and making everypony present feel very uncomfortable. This was the side of Fluttershy they very rarely saw - a side of not just anger and frustration, but undeniable madness, something they'd not witnessed since last year's Grand Galloping Gala.

"Twilight, please don't! I assure you it's lovely! Take my word for it and don't look for yourself!" Rarity begged.

"TWILIGHT, SO HELP ME..."

"Twilight, don't spoil the surprise!"

"TWILIGHT, I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK."

The unicorn saw no middle path and no means of escape as both sides upped their respective arguments. She looked down at her immobile assistant lying on his side on the floor beside Rarity's couch. "Twilight..." Spike whispered, weakly but firmly, "...do yourself a favor and do exactly what Fluttershy wants."

Twilight turned around.

"Oh, bountiful Celestia..." groaned Rarity, dramatically throwing her face into her hooves.

"What do you think?" inquired Fluttershy, smiling and disturbingly placid all of a sudden.

Twilight looked. Twilight thought. Twilight tried to put those thoughts into words, but somehow couldn't. Her mouth opened and shut repeatedly for a few seconds, during which Fluttershy noticed she wasn't receiving an answer.

"Well?!" she cried, flaring her wings up and letting her frustration seep back into her tone.

"Just say something to Fluttershy, darling, so she can take it back," implored Rarity. "And then forget you ever saw it."

Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash looked expectantly towards Twilight and shot her looks meant to encourage her to do just that, so they could let Fluttershy leave and give herself some kind of aromatic bath to calm down.

Oh how Twilight wished she could erase from her mind the image that stood before her. Unfortunately it was to be a sight that she would need extensive therapy to overcome - an aggravated Fluttershy with murder in her eyes, standing beside a dress that hardly looked fit for one of Discord's bath mats, let alone for a dress to wear to a royal gala.

What had gone wrong here? Fluttershy was supposed to be an expert seamstress. She was certainly knowledgeable on the subject. Perhaps she couldn't properly put her knowledge into practice - after all, making dresses must be hard for a pony without magic, surely. She had seemed a little nervous - terrified, even, of what Rarity might think. Then why had Rarity said the dress was so wonderful when Fluttershy first... came around...?

"Rarity's into some really after-dark, uhh, avant-garde stuff. Weird. Experimental. Out there."

As Spike's voice echoed in her head, she finally connected the dots.

"...It's... nice," she said, smiling as sincerely as she could manage.

There was a brief silence. Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash nervously nodded their heads in faux-agreement.

"...And?" pressed Fluttershy.

"It's really nice!" Twilight replied, feigning honesty to the best of her ability. "You've done a... fantastic job, Fluttershy! Oh boy, I can't wait to wear it, I'll look amazing! It's... it's..." She paused as she realized she'd run out adjectives she was genuinely comfortable using. "...Out there all right."

Fluttershy's right eye quaked.

"Pray tell, Twilight... what do you mean, 'out there'?"

At the other end of the room, Pinkie's tail started twitching violently. "Guys...?"

"Well, you know..." Twilight mumbled, breaking out in a sweat.

"No, I don't," interrupted the irate pegasus, marching towards Twilight and staring her down with the full force of Armageddon. "Rarity said it was marvellous, stupendous, magnifique. She did not say it was... 'out there'."

"It's... different!" Twilight stammered, her mouth running dry. "In a good way! The color scheme! The composition! It's..." Her mind was running out of steam. "Umm... avant-garde."

At this, Fluttershy made a very dangerous frown.

"Let's stay calm here, Fluttershy," said Rarity, cowering in relative safety behind the upturned couch. "Let's not do anything... rash..."

"Now, now, sugarcube..." added Applejack, as calmly as ever. "Keep it cool."

"...Yeah, take it easy there, Flutters," added Rainbow Dash nervously, and perhaps redundantly.

Fluttershy gazed ferociously into Twilight's eyes for a very uncomfortable six-and-a-half seconds, during which Pinkie attempted to grab their attention by shaking and stammering uncontrollably. "G-g-g-guys-s-s...?"

"I'm sensing a deeper meaning to your choice of words, Twilight Sparkle. What. Does. AVANT-GARDE. Mean?" she screeched.

All of a sudden Pinkie's hindquarters jiggled furiously, then she leapt up into the air, did a triple backflip, and landed on the library floor splayed out on her back, her hooves wiggling involuntarily in the air.

"Whoa! Never had that one before!"

"Pinkie Pie," growled Twilight. "Jimmies. Rustling. What the heck's gotten into you?"

"That was my Pinkie Sense! It was telling me there's a doozy round the corner!"

"And that doozy is that Twilight's gonna get her block knocked off if she doesn't give me an ANSWER!" screamed Fluttershy, pulling up a forehoof for such a job.

"No, it's even doozier than that! Somepony's about to reveal something a lot of other ponies aren't gonna like hearing!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" inquired Rainbow Dash.

"Umm... hello?"

From behind the gathering of ponies came a very small, very shy voice. All eyes turned to look, and standing in the front door was a trio of fillies.

Apple Bloom stepped forward. "We need to talk to you guys. Urgently." The seriousness in her tiny little voice was enough to draw the full attention of everypony in the room. Except one.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait!" growled Fluttershy. "Now, Twilight..."

"Whoa there, sugarcube," said Applejack, grabbing hold of Fluttershy's tail and pulling her away from—

"NNNYYYARGH!"

Unfortunately Fluttershy's brief spat with her bunny rabbit earlier had left her in a highly self-defensive state, and as soon as the sensation of her hair follicles being tugged at returned, she instinctively let out a primal scream and launched her back legs into the air in a fit of adrenaline, ready to kick Applejack's lights clean out. Luckily, Rainbow Dash saw what was about to happen, swooped down, and scooped up the enraged pegasus in her forelegs.

"Easy, Flutters! Easy!" she shouted as Fluttershy struggled against her grasp. "Calm down! Have some tea!" Twilight had levitated Rarity's tea-cup from the side table, earning a few complaints from the unicorn, and brought it over. Fluttershy reluctantly ceased kicking and screaming, allowing Dash to settle her down, and downed the tea in one hefty swig. Almost instanteously she de-tensed. In fact, the tension evaporated so quickly, she collapsed to the floor on her haunches and squeaked. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me..."

As Applejack and Rainbow Dash comforted the ashamed pegasus, Apple Bloom turned her head back to her two crusading cohorts and whispered to them.

"We seriously couldn't have come at a worse time."

"Come on, everypony, let's stop all this nonsense," said Applejack firmly. "Ah haven't seen mah sister lookin' so glum in a long time. Something's eatin' her, so let's all be supportive and talk it through with her and her lil' friends."

"We have a confession," the filly replied.

"A big one," Scootaloo affirmed, nodding her head forlornly.

"A super big one that we're... very ashamed of," added Sweetie Belle.

"Come on, ya little whippersnappers," said Applejack kindly. "How bad can it be? Ah'm sure we'll understand."

"You're not gunna like it," Apple Bloom said, dreading the conversation that was about to ensue.

"Whether we like it or not, it's good o' you to have the decency to tell us 'bout it. You were raised as an honest Apple," Applejack said proudly. "Now then, what's the gosh-darned trouble?"

Apple Bloom hesitated. "You're... really not gunna—"

"WE STARTED THE FIRE."

Everypony stared at the unicorn filly's sudden outburst. Applejack's eyes widened. Twilight's mouth drooped in shock. Rarity shot up and stood up on the couch like a meerkat. The others just stared.

"Oh, nice goin', Sweetie," moaned Apple Bloom, clocking her forehead with a hoof.

"It... it was an accident!" Scootaloo butted in, trying to save the situation. "We used Twilight's chemistry kit!"

"We borrowed it, made a concoction, and tried it out on one of mah sister's pigs - and turned it into a rocket," Apple Bloom mumbled, not daring to look up at her sister. "We saw it crash into Rarity's place, then we saw a horrible explosion... we dared not go anywhere near it."

"I slept in the clubhouse for the night," continued Sweetie Belle, "and then the next day my sister was here at the library, recovering from the shock of it!"

"We didn't tell anypony that it was all us!" added Scootaloo, her voice breaking up. "It was so terrible! And we couldn't admit it! We saw how bad everything was, but ignoring it and hoping we wouldn't have to own up made it all so much worse!"

"That's th' whole truth. Please forgive us, we're so sorry for what we did," sniffed Apple Bloom.

For a terribly long moment, utter silence fell over the room. The three fillies couldn't bear to look any one of the dumbstruck ponies in the eyes, all choosing to closely examine the oaken floor of the library. In the placid wind of the outside world, a single leaf brushed against the window on the floor above the audience gathered in Twilight's front room, creating a sound that, in the complete and total silence of the library, would have deafened them - if the sudden but fleeting scream that came from the couch at the very same moment hadn't.

The pearl unicorn covered her mouth, as if her impromptu vociferation had been an anti-Celestial slur.

"Geez, Rarity, you wanna give us all a heart attack?" gasped Rainbow Dash, clutching her chest.

Sensing that the Crusaders' confession had perhaps made a slightly more dramatic impact on the sensitive unicorn than on everypony else, Twilight ran to Rarity's side, and lay a hoof gently on her forehead, running it through her beautifully-styled indigo mane. "It's okay, Rarity, it's okay..."

Her efforts to curtail the unicorn's emotion turbulence proved fruitless. Twilight and the others could only watch as Rarity's eyes rolled around in her head, betraying a complete and total meltdown taking place inside her already fragile mind. She mumbled indiscernibly to herself, and made a series of faces that indicated the clash of feelings that was presently short-circuiting her brain. Tearful betrayal, vein-bulging anger, complete confusion, and even a smug pride at having been proven right about the pig.

With all the possible states of mental unrest exhausted, Rarity simply stiffened like a board and collapsed onto the couch.

Twilight gasped. "Rarity?!" She grabbed a firm hold of her friend's shoulders and attempted to shake her back to some form of lucidity. "Rarity, please, say something! Are you all right?"

"~Who's a sexy fish-horse?~" she eventually posed to no-one in particular.

"Huh? Rarity, what are you saying? Are you all right?" questioned Twilight anxiously.

"~I am! Sexy sexy fish-horse...~" Her voice was hazy and absent of any mental deliberation whatsoever. Eventually, there came a look on the debilitated unicorn's face that Twilight recognized as her "idea" face.

"~Oooh, sock suspenders!~"

Twilight was caught off-guard. What on earth were sock suspenders? Why would Rarity even think of them?

"~Suits with cardigans!~"

With this next proclamation, the image that filled Twilight's head, and indeed the other equally confused ponies present, was enough to make them all reel back in horror.

"~Paisley with stripes! Green anoraks with fuzzy collars!~"

Even Twilight, oblivious as she was to the state of modern clothing trends, was now aware of the sheer calamities of fashion that Rarity was now proclaiming. Spike covered his mouth to stifle a gasp. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Her fashion sense has gone critical!" yelled Pinkie Pie. "She's flipped!"

"~Rubber trousers, held down with bicycle clips!~" Rarity continued to slur blissfully.

"Spike! Get a bucket of ice water," cried Twilight, as her assistant obediently sped off to do just that.

"~White socks with plastic sandals!~"

Stepping aside from the scene Rarity was making, Applejack walked up to her little sister and her friends. "Apple Bloom, is what you're telling us the Celestia's-honest truth?"

The filly's ears drooped. "Yup..." she managed in a barely-audible squeak. The trio of guilty-looking youngsters sat forlornly on their haunches, awaiting their judgement. Five sets of eyes descended upon the Cutie Mark Crusaders, each filled with a different flavor of anger.

"I got defenestrated by a couple of toddlers!" snarled Twilight Sparkle, stomping a hoof.

"I got pursued by a pair of pegasususes!" cried Pinkie Pie.

"Ah almost got killed by a bear!" growled Applejack.

"I accidentally destroyed Applejack's orchard!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"She destroyed mah orchard!"

"I worked my flank to the bone on a... stupid dress!" squeaked Fluttershy, doing her best not to crack again.

"~Platform shoes! Sideways-ironed flared trousers!~" burbled Rarity.

This was too much for Sweetie Belle. "We're SORRY!" she yelped, bravely fighting back an onslaught of tears.

"We really stepped outta line this time," added Scootaloo, moving forward to comfort her fellow crusader with a hug.

"We had no idea we'd do this much damage from one little mistake," Apple Bloom sighed, scratching at the floor ashamedly. "An' it was an accident! We jus' thought we'd try mixin' up a potion to get back at those bullies Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon! It was jus'... jus' gonna be a harmless little practical joke!" she stammered, trying not to weep.

"And we did think about telling you guys sooner, but Rarity looked so... unwell because of it," Scootaloo continued. "We thought we'd only make her worse, but..."

"~Clip-on polyester ties!~"

"We don't wanna make it any worser."

While Spike applied a full bucket of water to the broken unicorn's face - serving no change apart from the increased dampness of the couch - the five other ponies saw the genuine look of remorse and self-disappointment in the young fillies. All eyes turned towards Sweetie Belle, who had just been sniffling quietly to herself, but clearly couldn't hold it in much longer.

"BIG SIS! I'M SO SORRYYYY!" she cried, the floodgates in her wide emerald eyes now fully open, allowing her shame and guilt to run freely down her cream-white face. She galloped over to her sister, caught her in a fierce embrace, and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I feel totally responsible for what happened! The fire! The pig! The hole in Applejack's barn! The great big switcheroo that you all went through! It's all my fault!"

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at each other, then at the five standing ponies, all of whom were also exchanging glances, looking humbled by the little unicorn filly's open admission of guilt. Then all eyes turned to Rarity. The unicorn's eyes danced back and forth momentarily, then came to a stop on her distraught little sister.

"...I destroyed so much of your work," Sweetie sniffled. "I put you in this condition. Do whatever you want with me, I'm sure I completely deserve it." She rested her head on her supine sister's chest and sobbed quietly.

Rarity blinked a few times. "Sweetie Belle..." she mumbled emptily.

"Sweetie, your sister might not be entirely okay right now," said Twilight gently. "You might want to come back some time later..."

"I'm okay."

Twilight stepped back in surprise. Spike stopped in his tracks, having just emerged from the kitchen ready to deposit another half-gallon of icy water onto Rarity's face.

"I'm okay. Sweetie..." the unicorn spoke faintly, but her little sister could hear the words were coming from her heart. "I'm... disappointed that you let all this happen, and that you let it drag on by not telling us sooner. However... I'm proud of you for taking the responsibility and admitting to what you did." She nuzzled Sweetie Belle lovingly. "No hard feelings, my dear sister."

Seeing this, Applejack trotted over to her sister and pulled her in for a warm hug. "Apple Bloom... it's good that ya came clean. Ah'm mighty proud o' you, too." She paused momentarily. "But Ah think we're gonna hafta have a little talk about you an' yer little friends borrowin' things offa Twilight in future." The yellow filly simply nodded and returned her sister's cuddle.

At this heartwarming scene, Pinkie Pie promptly broke down into happy tears of her own. "I don't know why I'm feeling these things, but I a-a-am!" she wailed, draping herself over Rainbow Dash's shoulder and sobbing - who returned with a largely apathetic scowl.

Fluttershy's rage had now long since passed. Temperated by the tea and softened by the understanding she was now seeing between her friends and their sisters, she too collapsed into Dash, who simply sighed. "Crybabies..." said the blue pegasus to herself, sniffling a little.

Twilight, meanwhile, was caught in the middle of it all, unsure of what to think or say. Presently, Scootaloo hobbled over to her. "We really have to apologize to you too, Miss Sparkle," she said earnestly. "You're the one whose dress got burnt into flames. You lost something precious, thanks to us."

Twilight made an odd frown of surprise. "My dress got burnt? ...Fluttershy said it survived. That's it over there." She indicated the Frankenstein of fabric in the doorway.

"We saw it ourselves," said Scootaloo. 'She had to start a new one from scratch, but... I think she couldn't quite manage it."

Twilight stared at the filly.

"We're really sorry, Miss Sparkle. We set off a whole chain of events all because we used your chemistry kit. And... didn't properly check the recipe for the potion we wanted to make..."

Twilight Sparkle smiled and leant down to stroke the filly's silky silver mane affectionately. "It's alright, Scootaloo," she reassured. "These things happen. I had all sorts of accidents back in magic kindergarten. Some of them I'm still trying to live down..." Her face twisted oddly as she visibly wrestled with a few unpleasant memories resurfacing, before shaking her head and smiling back at the guilty-looking filly in front of her. "I learned first-hoof that it's vitally important to check you're doing things right before going ahead. Excitement can get the best of you, but being careful, deliberating and working hard will always reward you more than just rushing things... not to mention it'll greatly help avoid terrible accidents."

Scootaloo brought a hoof around Twilight's neck and gave her an apologetic hug. Twilight looked over the filly's shoulder at the dress still standing in the doorway of her house in all its wretched glory.

"I guess I'm going to have to wear that dress, then," she sighed.

"I just wish everything could go back to the way it was," moped Scootaloo. "Before we screwed everything up!"

"I'm afraid it can't. I still have to watch over Rarity," the unicorn muttered. "She's really not in good shape right now, not to mention her sense of fashion has..." Twilight paused as she looked back on the unicorn, noting how her mane and tail were no longer green. "Hey, did that...?" she looked back the filly. "I was just trying to cast a material restoration spell on that book I asked you to get from Rarity's boutique. Do you think... it worked on Rarity's mane?"

"Well, it's not the way it was before... all green and straight," Scootaloo observed.

Twilight thought for a short moment. Her horn illuminated.

"Stay here with the others. I won't be long!" With that, she disappeared in a flash of violet light.

Scootaloo looked to the floor. There was a familiar burnt book lying on it. "Hey, that's..." She looked toward Rarity and Sweetie Belle cuddling on the couch, and then trotted over to Apple Bloom, smiling knowingly.

"Apple Bloom, I think we came at the right time after all. Everything's going to be okay."

"Ya think?"

"I know."

Not even ten minutes later...

"Everypony, I give you..."

Scootaloo banged as fast and hard as she could on the set of the drums she'd placed specially in front of her, creating a noise somewhat similar to a drum roll - if it had been performed by two monkeys having a boxing match inside of the drum.

Everypony recovered from the noise, and smiled eagerly towards the door.

"My Gala dress!"

Twilight brought the trolley forward into the doorway, and the library was filled with the excited shrieks of five awestruck ponies and three flabbergasted little fillies as they beheld a beautifully-crafted dress - a dark but shiny silver ensemble with highlights of azure and violet, bedecked with brilliant purple gems. Twilight's cutie mark sat sewn perfectly in the center of it, in the most wonderfully vivid magenta.

"H...how did...?" Sweetie Belle spluttered.

"It was easy... sorta," said Twilight, smiling. She seemed a little out of breath. "I found the old dress back at the Boutique. I went to restore it to how it was yesterday, before the fire, but I was a little scared to at first, so I cast the restoration spell on bits of the mess that Fluttershy had left. Before I knew it, I'd cast it enough times to clean up the whole studio!" she laughed, mopping her brow.

"Oh, Twilight! It's so beautiful!" Fluttershy squeaked in adoration. "I'm so sorry I couldn't do something like this like I promised I would!" she added, somewhat regretfully. "And I'm sorry for lying to you..."

The unicorn gave a friendly shake of the head. "It's fine, Fluttershy. We all have our limits, and I think over the course of today we were all pushed well over them."

"I gotta admit, that is one swanky-lookin' dress," smirked Rainbow Dash.

"Twilight, you'll look amazing in it!" yelled Pinkie Pie bouncily.

"You an' Rarity are a force to be reckoned with, Twi," commented Applejack.

The three Crusaders gathered in a corner of the room and high-hoofed each other.

A certain unicorn was utterly speechless. Twilight noticed this. "What do you think, Rarity?"

After a beat, and the reality of the situation had had time to sink in, Rarity stated in a very small, incredulous voice, "Twilight, you are the best friend a pony could ask for. You're an absolute miracle-worker."

"This means everypony can go back to their regular chores," proclaimed Twilight proudly, to the cheers of everyone present. "Rarity, I'd still recommend taking it easy for the next few days - after all, you've been through a lot," she added.

Rarity nodded in agreement, and stretching her legs, climbed off the couch. "Honestly, I can't wait to get back to work, but yes, I do think my nerves need the rest."

"Oh, and for some reason this guy followed me back here." In the doorway behind Twilight appeared a stout little pig. It ran into the library and snorted affectionately at Applejack. "He just... appeared. Guess I... unexploded him," the unicorn laughed.

"Haha... well, glad he's okay," laughed Applejack.

Rarity gave a short little scream.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today, my friends and I learned, in a roundabout way, that we're not cut out for each others' jobs. However, we were willing to help each other out in a time of need and urgency, and that is what friendship is all about. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if your friends disappoint you in the end - as long as they did the best they could, and still remain loyal to you.

Three of your younger subjects have also learned something about friendship, but of far greater value.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

(PTO)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today we learned that honesty really is the best policy. If you let your problems build up for too long, they can come back and bite you. Hard. Even if the truth is horrible, and is something you'd rather not anypony else know, sometimes it's best to get it out in the open, before hiding it does any more damage - especially when it comes to owning up to something you've done. Being open and honest, and accepting responsibility for the things you've done, will always reward you with other ponies' trust.

Your loyal crusaders,
Apple Bloom
Sweetie Belle
Scootaloo

...

"Heya, Twahlight!" came a young voice after a knock at the door.

Twilight opened the library door, the brilliant Sunday morning sunlight streaming onto her face. "Hello there, Apple Bloom. Are things okay down at the farm?"

"Yeah, me and mah sis are gonna be fixin' up the barn today. Rainbow Dash came around and helped gather most of the apples for the season yesterday evenin'. She figured it was the least she could do after she almost destroyed the orchard."

"That's Rainbow Dash for you, loyal as ever. What can I help you out with?"

The filly scraped at the ground a little sheepishly. "Well, see... Scootaloo's jus' wonderin' if we could... borrow that book of fixin' spells offa ya. She really can't stand still havin' a grey mane."

Twilight froze in horror.

"Yeah, we sucked the color right out of it to make that darn potion of ours. Heheh." The filly flashed her an innocent grin, and laughed a little nervously.

"Apple Bloom, I think I'm just gonna give you two words: Mane. Dye."

Twilight closed the door firmly.

THE END

Author's Note

Hey, sorry about the abrupt-ish ending, everypony. I know a lot of you wanted to see a few chapters beyond this, but the truth is, I really wanted to get this story off of my plate. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed writing it - I really have. :) After such a long hiatus, the whole thing felt a bit hazy in my mind, so it might be a bit patchy in places still. I tried not to take any shortcuts, though, which is why this chapter may be slightly longer than all the others. I hope it's at least a fitting ending.

I'm very grateful for the feedback I've received, and boy am I glad it's been mostly positive. :P It's by no means an epic for the ages, granted, but thanks a ton for all of your kind words, regardless.

If I ever try this fanfiction-writing shebang again, I just need to make sure I have a far more solid plan for the story. :P I was entirely new to the whole thing when I started this fic in February (geez, that long ago? really?), and plunged right into the deep end - writing Chapter 1 in a couple of hours without really knowing what was going to follow it. Originally I was going to cover the whole three days that Rarity would be confined to the library for, but I soon found that I couldn't really do that. So next time everything will be written out in advance. And maybe I can balance the chapter lengths a little easier this way. :P

Thanks for the ride, everypony. Been fun. :D Please voice your concerns in the comments. I'm still going over this chapter and might well make small alterations to the rest of the chapters as well.

Special thanks to my brother (Baratus) and my good mate insightguy for proofreading and offering suggestions. Hope you, like me, enjoyed this story from start to finish. I can only apologize if not. :P