Trial of Tongues

by Jazzy Mellows

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Applejack
Length: 1028

Two ponies who are known for talking very fast for very long decide to see who is the champion

So, my roommate for college is Chatterjoy. I had the crazy idea that she would be hilarious to go up against Pinkie Pie to see who really was the chattiest pony around. This is the result: Pinkie Pie Vs. Chatterjoy! Who will win?

Published 2013-08-05 21:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-05 21:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Everypony gathered in the square to see the greatest battle of endurance that had ever been in all of Ponyville, or at least, since Twilight Sparkle's arrival. The white furred Pegasus stared down the pink furred Earth pony. Blue eyes met brown eyes. They awaited the signal.

“GO!”

“SALLY SABLE SOLD SEASHELLS BY THE SEASHORE!” It was a close call. Who would win?

Applejack was the judge, and walked over to the two timekeepers. They needed one for each pony participating. Twilight Sparkle kept time for Pinkie Pie, and Jazzy Mellows kept time for Chatterjoy. The three talked briefly.

“Draw!” Applejack proclaimed. After the announcement, Spike walked around the edges of the crowd holding his signs that said “ROUND 2.”

“GO!” Applejack shouted again.

“I TOOK A LONG TROT ACROSS CANTERLOT! A VERY LONG TROT ACROSS CANTERLOT!” Another close call. The timekeepers spoke to the judge again.

“Draw!” Spike walked around again, with the signs saying “ROUND 3”

Applejack gave the contestants a moment to catch their breath, and drink a bit of water. Soon, the contest continued.

“GO!”

“WHERE DID WHINY WIDGET WASH THE WATERMELLONS? WHY DO I WANT THE WASHED WATERMELLONS?” Again, close calls. Applejack checked with the timekeepers.

“Draw!” And again, Spike walked around holding the signs. The signs weren't necessary. He just wanted something to do. He actually hoped that the contest would end soon, because he was on his last sign.

“GO!”

“A SWAN SWAM OVER THE SWELL, SWIM SWAN SWIM! A SWAN SWAM BACK OVER THE SWELL, WELL SWUM SWAN!” These two were really good matches for eachother. You could never tell who finished first. Applejack checked with the timekeepers.

“Draw!”

After another quick break for the ponies, Spike walked around with the sign for Round 2, held upside down, because he only made four signs.

“GO!”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH BY THE NORTH AND THE SOUTH AND TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT SOMETHING, PONIES!” Again, with a check from the timekeepers, Applejack announced.

“Draw!” This time, Spike took a marker and wrote on the back of one of his signs, to say “ROUND 6”.

“GO!”

“RUBBER BABY BUNNY BUMBERS BOUNCING ON THE BUMPY BRIDGE! LOOK OUT FOR THE BOUNCING BUNNIES!” Another draw.

At this point, the youngest and oldest members of the audience started to leave. Spike tried to catch their attention, but to no avail. He fixed up the sign for Round 1 to say “ROUND 7”.

“GO!”

“SEVEN SILLY SHEEP SLEEP IN SLOPPY SLOPING HILLS WHY CAN'T THE SHEEP SLUMBER IN THE STRAIGHTER SLEEKER FIELDS?” Still, the times matched.

Applejack asked if either pony wanted a break. They both declined, lost in the adrenaline of competition. Even still, Applejack made them each take a drink of water before continuing onto the next round, which Spike displayed on what was the sign for Round 3.

“GO!”

“I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR MARE OF MIGHT I HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE KNOWN TO NEARLY ANYPONY NIGHTY NIGHT!” Tied.

More ponies left after every round. The square that you couldn't walk through earlier due to the concentration of ponies was now little more complex to traverse than a library. Spike wrote “ROUND 9” on the back of another sign, even though he knew that nopony was paying attention to the signs anymore.

“GO!”

“LORD LLOYD LOST HIS LADY'S LOCKET WHILE LEANING OVER THE EDGE OF THE LEDGE TO LOOK AT THE LADS LEARNING ACROSS ON THE LAWN!” Another draw.

The sun had started setting, causing everyone's shadows to become longer. The shadows cast themselves onto the contestants, but it didn't bother them. The adrenaline in their systems caused them to only see the competition. Spike wrote “ROUND 10” on the back of another sign.

“GO!”

“ALICORNS ALWAYS ASSOCIATE WITH ONE ANOTHER! OTHERWISE ALICORNS WOULD ALIENATE ANYWAY! ALICORNS ALWAYS ANALYZE ASTROLOGY! AWESOME, ALICORNS!” Once more, they were evenly matched.

Now the ponies left in pairs. Couples retiring early so that they could spend more time together. Not that it would be quiet, since the battle for the Top Talker still continued. Even from the edge of the Everfree forest, you could still hear the shouted tongue twisters. With only one sign with a blank side left, Spike wrote “I LOST TRACK!” on the back of his last sign.

“GO!”

“TIMID TIMMY TIMES HIS TINY TADPOLES TO TELL WHEN THEY TURN INTO TOADS. TIMMY TIMES THEM BUT TELLS NO OTHER FOALS. TIMIDLY HE TIES THEM INTO TAMMY'S TAIL!” Another tie.

There were only a handful of ponies left in the audience now. Enough for Spike to count them on his claws. He showed off the “I LOST TRACK” sign for the rest of the match, even if he was the only one who cared about what it said.

“GO!”

“EVERY EVENING EVERYPONY ENTERS INTO EARTHEN HOMES! EVERY EVENING EVERYPONY OPENS UP THEIR SPECIAL TOMES! EVERY EVENING EVERYPONY PRAYS THAT PRINCESS POWER IS PERPETUAL!”Again, a draw.

Lower and lower the sun fell into the sky. They knew they couldn't last much longer, but neither contestant wanted to leave without finding a victor, and the only other way to finish was to forfeit. They were both too proud of their titles for that.

“GO!”

“BETTY BOUGHT A BIT OF BUTTER BUT SHE SAID THE BUTTER'S BITTER IF SHE PUT IT IN THE BATTER IT WOULD MAKE HER BATTER BITTER SO SHE BOUGHT SOME BETTER BUTTER AND THE BATTER WAS NOT BITTER!” Draw.

The sun had just gone down, and the moon was beginning to peek above the horizon. Everypony left was tired, just waiting for it to be over.

“GO!”

“PETER PONY PICKED A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS PETER PONY PICKED IF PETER PONY PICKED A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS WHERE'S THE PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS PETER PONY PICKED?” Everypony was exhausted. Surely, this was the last round. Neither contestant could last much longer anyway.

Applejack walked to the timekeepers. The whispers lasted longer this time. After about five minutes, she proudly proclaimed the result.

“The winner is..........”

Author's Note

Yeah, I couldn't pick who would win. So, you get to pick with your imagination.