Assorted Short Stories

by Titanium Dragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance
Length: 6415

A collection of short stories of many different genres.

A collection of short stories of many different genres.

Candy: Rarity finds out what Applejack's cutie mark tastes like. Romance.

Mirrors: Applejack buys Rarity a magic mirror. Dark.

Miracle: Fortune Apple wants to know where she came from. Slice of Life.

The Incomplete Essay: Twilight can't finish an essay. Drabble (a 100 word long story).

Hug: Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom want to know why their sisters are acting funny. Comedy, Romance.

Wet: Rarity's roof has a leak. Romance, Sad.

Collaboration: Rarity and Applejack collaborate on Applejack's new rodeo duds. Slice of Life.

Caught: Applejack and Rarity are caught by Granny Smith. Romance, Comedy.

The Wrong Answer: Twilight tries to find Spike's mother. Koan drabble (a 100 word long story which is meant to enlighten the audience).

Virgin Green Fields: The earth ponies, after weeks of arduous travel to escape endless winter, have finally come to the verdant new land which will one day be named Equestria. Smart Cookie dreams about what the virgin green fields here mean for him and his people, but will he recognize his dreams when he sees them? Historical Slice of Life.

Published 2013-08-06 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-31 07:45:16 UTC

Rarijack Prompt: Candy

"Well, that's done with," Rarity said as she swung the door shut after the departure of the baby dragon.

"I thought he'd never leave," Applejack said with a smile as she stepped over next to her marefriend, the orange pony rubbing her snout against Rarity's as the unicorn smiled and leaned back into the earth pony's warm side. "But you really should stop leadin' him on like that Rarity."

"I know. I just am worried it will break his little heart when he finds out we're together."

Applejack frowned slightly, shifting away. "We've been together for a month now. I'm sure he's going to find out eventually, and it'd be best if it was from us, not from somepony else."

"I know," Rarity sighed as she shook her head, feeling Applejack's warmth retreating as the orange pony stepped away from her. "I must admit I am rather flattered by the attention. I never would have thought I looked as good to dragons as I do to ponies."

Applejack smirked. "Oh, I've got a pretty good idea of it. I bet it's the same thing that made Lyra go after Bon Bon."

"Same thing? Whatever do you mean?"

"Oh, nothin," the earth pony replied as she leaned in close to the unicorn's ear. "Candybutt."

"I beg your pardon?"

Applejack laughed. "Well it's like this. Bonbon has candy on her flank, and to a dragon, those diamonds you're sporting must look like the sweetest thing in all Equestria."

"Those diamonds represent my love of beauty and craftsmanship, not food!"

"I dunno Rarity, I reckon as far as Spike's concerned, the gems you find are the tastiest there are. I bet he's just itchin to get a taste of the sweetest gems of all. Might be I want a taste too."

Rarity swished her tail, her cheeks flushing. "Oh you're incorrigible!"

Applejack nuzzled back up against her marefriend's side, her chin rubbing against the back of Rarity's neck. "I dunno. I don't think it's such a bad thing that I want to try gettin to know my marefriend a bit better. Might be that I'd like it if she wanted to do the same to me." She shifted foward, lifting her head to give the unicorn a kiss on the ear. "Besides, I know you've always wondered what mine tastes like."

The unicorn squeaked at that, her face red, but despite the heat in her voice, her body language betrayed her as she leaned back into the strong earth pony, her tail swishing behind her, brushing up against Applejack's own flank. "A lady would never be so uncouth."

"Oh, I dunno. I'd think that a proper lady would want her ladyfriend to be happy. I promise my mouth won't go anywhere you don't want it to."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Rarity replied, ducking her head slightly as Applejack laughed.

"Well that's a mighty fine invitation if I've ever heard one." The earth pony stepped alongside Rarity, rubbing herself up against her marefriend's shoulder as she walked around in front of her, letting her back rub against Rarity's neck as she brushed on by the unicorn, turning around to nuzzle slowly along her side, first her shoulder, then letting her chin slide along her flank until she was nuzzling at Rarity's cutie mark, her tail flicking up against Rarity's snout as she gave each of the brilliant blue diamonds on her marefriend's side a gentle kiss, making the mare tremble against her.

Applejack could feel Rarity's own face moving, the white mare's chin slowly rubbing over her partner's croup, the farmer arching her back slightly as she felt the warm breath slowly moving down to her side, smiling slightly as she felt the white mare's lips press against her own cutie mark. Applejack smiled to herself as she continued to nose at Rarity's side, before squeaking as she felt Rarity's warm tongue sliding out over one of the apples adorning her flank, a laugh following a moment later.

"Well that's mighty forward of you," the cowpony said, taking the gesture as an invitation to start nibbling at Rarity's cutie mark, eliciting more shaking out of the mare beside her. Rarity's tight voice came back to her.

"Applejack," she said, "I must confess something."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"Your cutie mark... it doesn't taste like apples."

Rarijack Prompt: Mirrors

"Howdy, Rarity!"

"Coming!" chirped the mare in question, emerging from one of the back rooms of the boutique with a smile on her face as she approached the farmer. The pair exchanged nuzzles, leaning into each other for a moment before Applejack spoke.

"Twilight and I saw somethin' you might get a kick out of when we were in Canterlot yesterday."

"Oh?" Rarity leaned back, her eyes bright. "What is it?"

"I left it outside, it was kind of tough to get in through yer door by myself. It’s kind of fragile."

Rarity stepped out the front door of her shop and looked around for a moment before spying the canvas-covered pane sitting in the cart, her smile broadening. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Sure is," Applejack said as she stepped out after her marefriend. "Twi and I found it in the market, and figured it was just up your alley. Another magic mirror for your collection."

"Ooh, what does it do? Oh, wait, don't tell me, I want to see for myself."

Applejack smiled tolerantly, sliding out of the way as her marefriend seized the covered mirror carefully with her telekinesis, floating it out of the cart and in through the front door of the store before setting it down on the floor, its back resting against one of the tables at an angle.

“Ya ready?” Applejack asked, grinning as she reached up to grasp the edge of the canvas, already knowing the answer.

“Applejack!” Rarity tsked, shaking her head. “You know I like to have my little moments.”

“I know. And I love you for them.”

Rarity stepped before the mirror, closing her eyes and concentrating as her horn flared to life. The brown cloth slowly slid away, wrapped in Rarity’s magic, but the unicorn studiously avoided looking into the mirror’s silvery surface, instead turning her head to watch as she carefully folded the canvas into a neat little bundle, setting it down on her dresser. Nodding to herself, she closed her eyes once more before turning her attention back to the mirror, the smile on her face vanishing in an instant as her eyes slid open.

Rarity’s shriek jerked Applejack into action, the farmer leaping forward to hug her marefriend as the wild-eyed pony stumbled away from the mirror. "That's terrible!" Rarity wailed, whacking Applejack's chest with her hooves.

"Constarn it Rarity, it just makes you look like a princess! It ain't anything bad!"

Applejack could feel the other mare quivering against her, and looking down at her face, could see fear in her eyes, tears running down her cheeks as she sniffled.

"What do you mean?" Rarity asked, her voice quavering. "That isn't what it showed at all!"

"Did that vendor trick us and give us the wrong mirror?" Applejack growled, her eyes narrowing, while Rarity relaxed slightly against her chest.

"You think he tricked you?"

"I don't know, let me have a look at it."

Applejack slowly released her marefriend, flashing a smile as Rarity watched in trepidation. Shaking her head slightly, Applejack turned to face the mirror, confusion showing on her face as she tilted her head, the crowned pony in the mirror doing the same.

"What are you talking about Rarity? That’s is exactly what the mirror in the market did."

Applejack smiled back over her shoulder at Rarity, nodding her head in encouragement as the unicorn stepped forward, but Rarity’s tears began anew as her eyes moved from Applejack to the mirror. Rarity peered into it for several long moments, her knees wobbling before she collapsed to the floor, ducking her head and looking away.

Applejack turned her head to look back at the mirror, trying to see what her lover saw, and her eyes grew wide. In the mirror, the regal alicorn's eyes did the same, her mane flowing in an ethereal breeze beside her neck, her tail doing the same behind her. In the mirror, the farmer stood tall and regal, no longer a little pony, but instead a princess, full grown as Celestia.

But it wasn't her own reflection that made her eyes grow large, but what stood beside her: a weathered tombstone, with three diamonds glinting in the sun above the name of the pony laid to rest beneath.

Author's Note

Revised 8/23/2014. The original version can be seen in my blog post on the revision. What a difference a year makes.

One Hundred Words: The Incomplete Essay

"Twilight, what is this?"

"It's my report!" Twilight paused nervously. "Is it alright?"

"Twilight, I asked you for a hundred words. This is only ninety-eight."

"I'm sorry! I just couldn't think of any more!"

"Twilight, this is completely unacceptable. I asked you for one hundred words. But perhaps it was my mistake in trusting you."

"Princess, what are you saying?"

"You are no longer my student, Twilight Sparkle. GO!"

Twilight woke with a scream. Seizing her incomplete essay, she counted the words once more. Her eyes lit up; grasping her quill with her magic, she appended two words.

The End.

Author's Note

I was challenged by Karrakaz to write a one-hundred word long story at 3 am. I threw this together in six minutes. Not my greatest work, but it was fun to try; I had never actually tried writing something of exact length previously.

Rarijack Prompt: Hug

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Shh!"

Scootaloo's ears drooped as her two friends both hissed at her. "I was just asking," she said in a lower tone of voice.

"We're tryin' to see what they're up to. They were awful fast to get rid of us this mornin'."

"Yeah. Rarity even gave us bits to go get hay shakes!"

"So what's the problem?" Scootaloo shook her head. "You two are being weird."

"We ain't bein' weird, our sisters are."

"You're being pretty weird too, hiding in the bushes like this," Scootaloo grumbled. "Why don't we go do something fun?"

"This is fun!"

"No, it isn't, it's boring!"

"Quit fighting!" Sweetie Belle swung her hoof between the two.

"At least give me the binoculars," Scootaloo grumbled, sitting back on her rump and crossing her hooves across her chest.

"Hold yer horses, I'll let you have them in a minute," Apple Bloom said, before rising back up and putting the lenses back to her eyes, peering out through the window of Carosel Boutique.

"What do you see?" Sweetie Belle asked, leaning forward and squinting.

"Applejack is wearin' a dress."

"A dress?"

"Eyup. And she don't look too happy about it. Rarity's talkin' to her..."

"What's she saying?"

"How should I know? They don't let me hear any better."

"So what? Applejack is wearing a dress, big deal. Even Rainbow Dash wears dresses sometimes."

Apple Bloom lowered the binoculars to look at Scootaloo. "You don't know my sister. She never wore dresses before she was friends with Rarity."

"Fine. Can I look now?"

"I said in a minute."

"That was a minute ago!"

"Girls, please!" Sweetie Belle's shrill voice silenced the pair, before all three fillies ducked their heads down in unison, holding their breath.

"Think they heard us?"

Apple Bloom slowly peeked her head up out of the bushes, lifting the binoculars to her eyes once more. "I don't think so. They're still talkin'. And now Applejack is blushin'."

"Why?"

"I dunno!" Apple Bloom didn't turn to look at Scootaloo as she spoke. "Now they're both laughin'."

"Too bad we can't hear what they're saying."

"Maybe we could if you stopped complaining!"

Apple Bloom pressed the binoculars closer to her eyes. "They're hugging!"

"What?" Sweetie Belle sprung to her feet, pushing Apple Bloom aside before grabbing the binoculars herself and peering through them. "Aww!"

"So what? We hug each other all the time." Scootaloo shook her head.

"Not like that!"

"What do you mean?"

Sweetie Belle giggled. "They're so cute."

"What are they doing?"

"They're rubbing noses."

"Are they kissing?"

"I don't think so..."

Scootaloo rubbed her mane, before rising up and peering out of the bush, squinting her eyes. "I can't see anything."

"They're adorable!" Sweetie Belle lilted.

"Ugh. So why are we sitting around watching your sisters be mushy?"

"Applejack ain't mushy!"

Sweetie Belle giggled. "I dunno, she seems pretty mushy to me!"

"Lemme see!" Scootaloo snatched the binoculars from Sweetie Belle's hooves and looked through them before opening her mouth. "Blech! They're as bad as my parents."

Apple Bloom pouted. "She is not!"

"Is too! They're just looking at each other with their noses pressed together." Scootaloo lowered the binoculars. "First Big Mac, then your sister... are you going to mush out on us too when you find a colt you like?"

"No!" Apple Bloom stomped her hoof for emphasis.

"I dunno, you seemed awfully interested in spying on our sisters," Sweetie Belle said, her voice rising.

"So were you!"

"Ugh, they're kissing!"

Both heads snapped back to Scootaloo. "I wanna see!"

"Me too!"

Scootaloo lifted the binoculars away from her friends' hooves. "Hey, it's my turn now!"

The three fillies tumbled out of the bush, rolling down the hillside as they wrestled for the binoculars. Grunting and shoving at each other, Apple Bloom finally managed to knock Scootaloo down, springing into the air to grab the binoculars only to lose her balance. Her eyes widened, then clenched shut as she held her legs in close to her body in anticipation of the impact, only to fall into what felt like fabric, not thorns. Opening her eyes slowly, she yelped at the sight of the bush staring straight back at her, the much-fought for eyepieces tumbling from her nerveless hooves.

"Hey, you dropped them!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, diving down to catch the fumbled binoculars before coming up short as the rose bush stood up.

"Hey girls!" the rose bush chirped loudly, the three fillies jerking upright at the high-pitched voice.

"Oh, uh, hey Pinkie Pie," Scootaloo said, rubbing a scrape on her leg as she lowered her gaze.

"What are you girls doing up here?"

"Uh, nothin'," Apple Bloom said lamely, the three fillies shifting uncomfortably under the disguised pony's blue gaze.

"What are the binoculars for, then?" Pinkie Pie leaned forward curiously, shedding several fake leaves.

"Uhmmmm... bird watching!"

"That's right! Fluttershy said this was a great place to watch birds."

"Fluttershy said she comes here to watch birds?" Pinkie Pie blinked. "Aw, poor Fluttershy! She's too shy to say anything to Rarity. And now she's with Applejack!"

The thee fillies stared dumbly at the pink pony.

Pinkie Pie gasped. "I know! We can go cheer her up!"

"What does Applejack and Rarity hugging do with watching birds?" Apple Bloom tilted her head.

Pinkie Pie giggled, patting the filly on top of her head patronizingly. "You'll understand when you're older."

Apple Bloom pouted, brushing Pinkie Pie's hoof off her head. "Why do ponies always say that, anyway?" she grumbled.

"I don't know," Pinkie Pie said, lowering her head and putting her hoof to her chin pensively. "But first, I really should tell Rarity she needs to close her blinds if she's going to make out with Applejack in the dressing room. Who knows who might be watching!"

Rarijack Prompt: Wet

Wet

Two raindrops fell on her pillow, staining the fabric gray.

Rarity frowned and shook her head; this would never do. If they knew the Boutique sprung a leak, why, every pony in Ponyville would have to wonder: if she takes so little pride in keeping up her shop, how serious could she truly be about making dresses?

No, nopony could know. Not until it had been fixed, at least.

Rarity rolled over onto her back, looking up to the ceiling. It was useless; she couldn't see them fall, but she could still feel the water on her face, trickling down her cheeks. Her vision shimmered as two more drops fell, filling her eyes with warm water; clenching her eyes shut, she rolled over, rubbing her face against her pillow. It wasn’t as if it could get any wetter.

What had she expected, truly? She never had been very good at this sort of thing. Perhaps she could ask one of her friends for help?

Yes, that was it. And she knew just the pony for the job. Applejack hadn't had any time to help her today, but perhaps tomorrow she wouldn't be so busy with her apple trees that she couldn't come by to help out a friend.

She rose from her bed, her hooves sliding off the mattress, taking a deep breath as she lowered herself to the floor. She could certainly ask Applejack for help, but it wouldn't do for her to see her place like this. But that could be remedied; it would be easy enough for her to clean up a bit. The place certainly could use some cleaning.

Rarity shook her head slowly as she surveyed the mess; even her sister and her little friends couldn't make a mess like this. How did the clotheshorses fall over? What happened to her blankets to spread them out all over the floor of the room?

There must have been a draft.

She nodded her head; it certainly was windy outside today. Why, with those billowing dresses her clotheshorses had draped over them, it was surprising they didn't fall over every time she opened a window. Licking her lips, she concentrated, grabbing the wooden ponies in her magic, pulling them upright and pushing them back against the wall. Yes, that would do nicely.

Her eyes fell back to the floor. Blankets and loose linens rose up, enveloped in blue light as they floated over to her bed, wrapping themselves tightly around the mattress, leaving the floor clean and bare. The room was looking much better already, but there was something tugging at her mind.

With a gasp, she turned her head towards her nightstand. Had the vase... yes! Somehow, by some miracle, the wind that had touched the clotheshorses and spread her good linens all across the carpet had spared the beautiful flowers she had bought; a dozen roses, resting in water, their brilliant petals blazing even in the dim light filtering into the room.

Rarity frowned momentarily; should she replace them? Leaning forward, she sniffed at them gently, their wonderful fragrance filling her lungs, strong as if they had just been cut. No, there would be no need to replace them; they would surely keep 'til morning.

She shook herself; worrying over flowers after a day like today! Rarity flopped onto her bed; it was a pity that they wouldn't be fresh for Applejack tomorrow, but surely she would understand; Rarity was far too exhausted to go out for fresh flowers, especially in such nasty weather.

Rolling over, she glanced towards the window; her horn lit up, drawing back the curtains as she closed her eyes, the golden light of the evening sun filtering faintly through her eyelids as she drew her blankets up around her shoulders.

The roses would be fine.

Everything would be fine.

Tomorrow, Applejack would come, and together, maybe they could finally get that pesky leak fixed.

She was tired of sleeping on wet pillows.

Rarijack Prompt: Collaboration

Collaboration

“I don’t see how exactly you can call this a collaboration, Rarity.” Applejack shifted on her hooves, leaning away from Rarity as the unicorn carefully pinned the leather siding onto the fabric covering her flank. “I mean, I’m here and all, but I ain’t exactly helpin’.”

“Applejack,” Rarity said, her voice rising as she stepped forward to look her friend in the eye. “You are a vital part of my work.”

“I don’t rightly see why. I’m plumb grateful that you’re making me an outfit for the rodeo, but...”

“But?”

Applejack sighed. “You told everypony and their brother that I helped, but all I really did was pick which one of your ideas to go with.”

“Pish posh! Why, without you to act as inspiration for those designs, why, I never would have thought of them in the first place.”

“Inspiration?” Applejack arched her eyebrow.

“Of course! Your natural beauty has inspired dozens of designs!”

“You’re saying you’ve got pictures of me wearing a hundred different things? Now this I gotta see.”

“Well, not a hundred. But, you know, several.”

Applejack laughed. “It’s alright. You don’t have to flatter me.”

“Oh, but I do,” Rarity said, prancing around to Applejack’s other side as she picked up another piece of leather in her magic and began to position it on her flank, several pins floating up into the air behind her. “Why, that is the entire reason I’m making these…” she trailed off, frowning.

“Duds. They’re called duds, Rarity.”

“That is not what they’re called,” Rarity sniffed as she slid the pins in through the leather, holding it in place. “Perfect!”

Applejack glanced back at her flank, then back to Rarity. “Wait, you’re saying you’re making these to flatter me? Ain’t flattery insincere by its very nature?”

“Er... it sounded much better in my head. What I meant to say was that your rodeo, er, ‘duds’ were so terribly unflattering that I had to rectify the situation.”

“So you’re saying I look bad in my duds.”

Rarity winced. “Not bad… just, less beautiful than you could be.”

Applejack chuckled. “Rarity, I ain’t no beauty to begin with.”

“You’re a very pretty pony, Applejack,” Rarity said, using her magic to tug on the outfit several times, frowning as she pulled out another pin to pull the fabric in closer against her barrel. “You just need a little… oomph sometimes.”

“Oomph?”

“You do know what I mean.” Rarity tilted her head slightly, before smiling, her magic flicking open the straps, loosening Applejack’s outfit before pulling it off entirely and floating it over to one of her clotheshorses. “And done.” She paused. “Well, not done done, we will have to have a final fitting once it has been sewn together, but… what do you think?”

Applejack turned around, tilting her head as she approached the clotheshorse before biting her lip. “Well, it looks awful fancy…”

“Oh dear. If you don’t like it, you can just say so.”

Applejack sighed, shaking her head. “It ain’t that. It looks good. It’s just… you do know that I’m gonna be wrestling around in the dust and the mud and getting kicked while I’m wearing this, right?”

“Of course, darling! That’s why I used leather siding.”

“Yeah, but its gonna get all dirty.”

“So?” Rarity shrugged. “It can be cleaned.” She circled around the clotheshorse slowly before brightening up, smiling as she picked up a pencil with her magic, glancing over at Applejack before beginning to draw.

“I’m just saying, this is an awful lot of work for something that’s gonna get covered in mud.”

“Nonsense. Besides, with the colors, it should blend.”

“Heh, like those old red uniforms soldiers used to wear, huh?”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Indeed.” Her horn lit up once more, a small piece of red fabric floating over as she began to cut it.

“What’cha makin’ there?”

“Apples. We can’t have Applejack without any apples, now can we?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “I reckon they don’t need to be looking at my flank to know my name.”

“Ah, but it would be striking!”

“If you say so.”

“Well I do say so.” Rarity tilted her chin up haughtily for a moment before she chuckled.

“So that’s it, then? I can go?”

Rarity pouted. “Leaving so soon?”

Applejack lifted one hoof to rub it against the side of her foreleg. “Well, I kinda gotta get back to the farm to get some work done.”

Rarity sighed. “I suppose work must come first. You’ll just have to return tomorrow, then.”

Applejack tilted her head. “Er, for what?”

“Why, for your dress for the dance, of course.”

“The dance?” Applejack stared blankly. “Wait, you mean the dance after the rodeo?”

“But of course! You must expect to put in an appearance after you win all those ribbons.”

“I dunno, Rarity. I’ve been to those shindigs before, and I don’t much like the idea of fending off stallions who are chasing my tail all evening ‘cause I came without a date.”

“Well, then, we shall simply have to find you a date, won’t we?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “I don’t want your trying to set me up with one of your stallion friends neither.”

“I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing. I doubt it would work very well anyway.” Rarity waved her hoof dismissively. “I’m sure you have at least one friend who would be happy to attend by your side.”

“Uh… who?”

Rarity stared at Applejack.

“I ain’t too good at these guessing games.”

Rarity sighed dramatically. “Which of your friends enjoys going to such events?”

“Uh… Twilight?”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Twilight? The pony who hid with Princess Celestia at the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“Okay, not Twilight. Fluttershy don’t like those things, and Rainbow Dash only went ‘cause of the Wonderbolts…” Applejack blinked. “Are you sayin’ I should ask Pinkie Pie?”

Rarity facehoofed.

“Wait, you mean you?” Applejack took a step back. “You do realize that this ain’t gonna be anything like the Gala, right? It’ll have singing and dancing and ponies smiling and actually being happy.”

“I am well aware of this fact,” Rarity said, straightening. “I just thought it would be an interesting change of pace.”

“You ain’t never shown much interest in my rodeo work before.”

“Well, things change,” Rarity said, fanning herself with her hoof. “I think I would like to see my creation in action.”

“And pick up a few extra sales from the ponies watching and asking who made that nice get-up, I reckon.”

Rarity giggled. “Well, you know how things go.”

Applejack shook her head, grinning. “Fine, fine.” She reached up with her hoof to pull her hat from her head, holding it in against her chest as she gave an overly-elegant bow. “Miss Rarity, would you care to accompany me to the Equestria Rodeo dance?”

Rarity smiled, leaning forward and batting her eyelashes. “Why, Applejack, I thought you would never ask.”

Rarijack Prompt: Caught

Caught

"What in tarnation are you two doin'?"

"Listen, Granny, I can explain—"

"Explain nothin'! I knew there was a reason you two had been sneakin' around. You ain't too good at hidin' things in the first place, missy. Did you think just 'cause I'm old means I'm blind, too?"

"No, Granny."

"Darn tootin'! I may be old and all my teeth may be fallin' out, but I know a girl's in love when I look at 'er! And look at you two! Thick as thieves and stuck together like ya'll been huggin' a sugar pine tree 'stead of each other."

"Look, Granny, we—"

"I just thought you had more sense than that in your head, tryin' to sneak around behind my back with the likes of her. What would your mother think?"

"I'm certain that her mother would be happy for her."

"I weren't askin' you, missy!"

"Granny, I love her!"

"Oh, I'm sure you do. Or at least you think you do. But you youngun's sometimes get so confused in the head you can't remember what's what. Not like me; I never forget a thing."

"I'm sure."

"That's enough guff out of you! Applejack, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't got nothin' to say. I love Rarity and that's just the way it is."

"Granny Smith, I understand that the idea of two mares being together is shocking, but I assure you that—"

"Mares schmares! What two mares do in the privacy of their own bedroom or barn is their own business."

"Then what's the problem, Granny?"

"Why, it's as obvious as the hat on your head."

"...Granny, you ain't sayin' you don't like Rarity 'cause she's a unicorn?"

"Of course I ain't sayin' it. Don't mean it ain't true. Shifty ponies, unicorns. Always lookin' down their snouts at us honest earth ponies. Why, I remember when I was just a little pony there was this handsome unicorn stallion who was sniffin' around, but my ma, she said that he might seem nice, but those horny fellas only have one thing on their minds."

"Uh, Granny, I don't think that's what your ma—"

"Anyway, can't trust 'em more than you can look at 'em. Nice enough to look at, sure, but not somethin' you take home to the family."

"I'm appalled!"

"Rarity, I'm real sorry—"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Applejack. I just thought better of Granny Smith. Especially given that I know you have some cousins who are unicorns."

"That's right. What about Ambrosia and Yellow?"

"What about 'em?"

"They're both unicorns, and they're Apples. You've never said a word against them."

"You ain't plannin' on cozyin' up with them, are ya?"

"Granny, they're eight."

"That's what I thought! And ya'll know where their dad went!"

"Uh, ain't he workin' in Fillydelphia buildin' houses 'cause they had a bad harvest last year?"

"Exactly! Can't trust 'im an inch. Ain't even been home to see his family in months."

"But you said last reunion that... wait a second. Granny, are you messin' with me again?"

"Ehehe. Took ya long enough to figure it out, missy. Maybe next time you'll tell me you got a new marefriend before I come home and find ya'll snugglin' on the kitchen table."

"Granny, it was just a hug."

"Hug schmug. And while you're at it, let your brother know he can bring that lady friend of his around the house. No point in sneakin' around if everypony knows they're together."

"Granny, I keep tellin' you, Cheerilee ain't Big Mac's girlfriend."

Author's Note

This was originally written for the Hug prompt for the RariJack forum game, but I never posted it because I felt it was too close to Shotgun Wedding, and later wrote the Hug story you're all familiar with. I was reading back through my stuff and found this and it made me smile, so I thought I'd share.

Virgin Green Fields

“Just another mile, Cookie, and you’ll be able to see what’s over the horizon,” the stallion said to himself as he put one hoof in front of the other, the long grass crunching beneath his hooves with every step. It was a whole new world: free of unicorns, free of pegasi, and maybe, someday, even free of Chancellor Puddinghead. Lifting his head, Smart Cookie looked up into the sky; was it always such a dazzling blue?

Another step. A cool breeze flowed across the slope, carrying the crisp, dewy scent of grass to his snout. As the emerald hillside rippled and swayed at the whims of the wind, Smart Cookie half-lidded his eyes, letting his imagination carry him up to the top of the hill to behold the land the earth ponies would claim.

Virgin green fields, untouched by ponies, stretched out in every direction as far as the eye could see. He could almost taste the sweet patches of clover, fresh and uncut, growing wild as nature intended. The soil was rich and moist, but just firm enough to be perfect for plowing. Seeds would be sown, the fields watered and tended to, and soon they would bear fruit for the very first time.

With so much food, and no one to share it with, the earth ponies would finally find the prosperity they had always longed for. They would build towns of their own – towns without arrogant unicorn landlords and pegasi casting dark clouds overhead.

Without the pretentiousness of unicorn intellectuals, their own intellectuals would grow – ponies would no longer hide their books from guests, or deny that they were educated. Without unicorns around, ponies would have to learn, to keep account of things beyond their fields, and, most of all, to admit to it. Foals would grow up without the idea that learning was for unicorns, not for earth ponies. They would know that there was more to life than scratching at the dirt, and go into politics, engineering, and all the other fields which had long been dominated by unicorns. Smart Cookie would propose the construction of a library, and a collection of all the books that the ponies had brought with them so that all could read and be enlightened. And then – and only then – would ponies come to see the foolishness of Chancellor Puddinghead for what it was, and put a good, sensible pony in charge.

Smart Cookie snorted to himself. “A pony can dream, can’t he? Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.” He smiled ruefully as his eyes focused on the world once more, the slope no longer so steep as he neared the crest of the hill. The sky stretched out endlessly above him, with not a cloud to be seen, and below, he could start to see the valley, green as he had dared dream. Slowly, he turned his head, only to start as he met a pair of blue eyes.

“What the?”

The eyes narrowed at his exclamation, and Smart Cookie realized they belonged to a green unicorn mare, her emerald mane blowing in the wind as she lay in the grass, an open book lying between her front legs. “I thought you unicorns were… I mean…” He shook his head, lifting one hoof to adjust his hat. “Er, howdy.”

Well, so much for paradise.

Clover the Clever’s ears twitched at the sound of approaching hoofsteps. Tearing her eyes away from her book, she glanced back over her shoulder at the sound, tilting her head slightly, her eyes widening at the sight of an earth pony frozen mid step.

“What the? I thought you unicorns were… I mean…” The stallion stumbled over his words, his voice thick with the fields. “Er, howdy.”

Clover narrowed her eyes. “Hello,” she said, before she looked back to her book, sighing and lighting her horn to turn the page. Of course it was some slack-jawed earth pony yokel. She should have expected it. Why would they strike out to find their own land when they could follow the unicorns, who, thanks to her guidance, found this place?

Clover shook her head. It didn’t matter. Her eyes flicked away from her book, back to the stallion, who was just staring at her dumbly. To think, for a moment, she had dared to hope it would be a fellow intellectual climbing the hill so they think things through on their own. Was it too much to ask for somepony worth talking to?

Rarijack Prompt: Miracle

Miracle

"Mom?"

"Yes darling?"

"Do I have a dad?"

Rarity sputtered, her eyes widening as she turned back to her daughter.

"Why do you ask, dear?"

"Well, when I was at school today, the other fillies told me everypony has a dad. They said nopony has two moms."

"Did they?" the unicorn asked, her voice thick with sugar-sweet malice.

"I asked the teacher too. She said so. When I told her I had two moms, she told me I should ask you about my dad after school."

"Oh darling," Rarity said, leaning down to nuzzle at her foal's orange mane, speaking in a sickly sweet tone of voice. "Everypony has a father except you. You're our little miracle. That's why we named you Fortune."

Fortune looked up at her mother skeptically. "Momma said that I was named after the apple."

Rarity giggled musically. "That too, dear." She bent down to give her daughter a hug. "Maybe tomorrow, your momma and I can go to school with you together and explain things to your class."

"Alright," the filly said, before turning and walking out of the kitchen, Rarity quietly grinding her teeth together before another pony joined her.

"So did she ask you too?"

Rarity looked over at her wife archly. "I take it I was not the first to field the question."

"Hay no. She asked me right when she came home from school."

"Applejack, language!"

The earth pony grinned. "I told her to talk to y'all about it."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Get real cold at night, I reckon." That dry remark earned the earth pony a shove in the shoulder from the unicorn.

"Applejack, you're incorrigible."

"I might be," the Applejack replied, flicking her tail. "Still, it don't sit right with me. I always knew where I came from."

"And she does. She is your daughter as much as she is mine."

"I know that. I'm just worried she'll think we lied to her, like we're ashamed or somethin'."

"But darling, it's the truth. She is my daughter, and she is most certainly an Apple."

"Still, it ain't right. 'Sides, my brother ain't a very good liar."

Drabble: The Wrong Answer

"What are you doing?" asked Luna.

"I am modifying a spell that's supposed to tell me who Spike’s mother is. Right now, it gives me the wrong answer,” Twilight replied.

"Who did the spell first tell you was his mother?"

"Well, me," Twilight said, laughing quietly, "but I'm not a dragon."

Luna turned towards the small basket Twilight kept at the foot of her bed where a small snoring dragon lay, shivering slightly in the cool night air. "He looks cold."

"He needs to be tucked in." Twilight pulled the blanket over Spike with her magic, and she was enlightened.

Author's Note

Written originally as a remix of two stories from The Writeoff Association, Enlightenment, a story about people misunderstanding Zen koans, and In Front of You, a story about Twilight making a spell to figure out who Spike's real parents are. For whatever reason, I decided to write it in the form of a koan, and I realized that, at 96 words, I could easily turn it into a drabble as well for bonus points. The koan was inspired by both of the above stories, as well as The Uncarved Block, which is a hacker koan.