Snowflame's Cocaine and/or Coffee Fueled Misadventures in Equestria (Comment Driven Story)

by KenSES64

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Other, Spike, Comedy, Prince Blueblood, Crossover, Random, Discord
Length: 85036

Snowflame has been in Equestria for quite some time now, and here are some of his insane adventures that you control. Have fun.

Snowflame has been in Equestria for quite some time now, and here are some of his insane adventures, that you control.

Have fun.

Inspired by the story, Wake up. See this. What do? by my good friend, RazortheAwesome
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is part of the Snowflame in Equestria series.
*My Little Snowflme: Cocaine is Magic
*Snowflame Steals Bon Bon's Slippers
*Snowflame Goes into Ponyville and Does Stuff
*Razor vs. Snowflame by: RazortheAwesome (non-canon)
*Snowflame Gets Invited to the Grand Galloping Gala

Published 2013-08-09 03:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-23 20:50:44 UTC

Good Morning Snowflame (1)

It was another beautiful morning in Ponyville. Celestia's sun was shining, the birds were singing, the weather team cleared the sky for the day, but that was unknown to Snowflame who just rolled out of bed. The white haired human stretched his back a bit and cracked his neck.

He walked up to the mirror in his slightly messy bedroom staring at it in a half asleep daze. He grabbed some white face paint on a desk and touched up on some places that was slightly thinner.

'Snowflame's face paint, Snowflame can't be seen without Snowflame's face paint.' Snowflame thought to himself as he added the last touches.

Snowflame then pulls out a sheet of paper that reads...

SNOWFLAME'S ENEMIES

*The New Guardians

*That Filly Scout that sold Snowflame bad cookies

*Ed Boon

*Anyone named Chad

"Yup, that seems about right to Snowflame." The super villain says to himself, before putting it away and walking out of his bedroom. Snowflame makes his way to the kitchen to do his normal routine of make himself a pot of coffee. With there being no cocaine in Equestria, Snowflame has to settle on the next best thing, since coffee is really just cocaine in liquid form, or at least according to Snowflame.

Snowflame watched as the coffee slowly filled the pot, when the heard hoofsteps behind him. Snowflame turned to see his roommates, Lyra and Bon Bon.

Bon Bon seemed to have already gotten ready for the day, mane brushed and everything. Lyra on the other hand, or hoof, looked like she just crawled out of bed, her mane was going in practically every direction, and she had some noticeable bags under her eyes.

"Morning ladies." Snowflame greeted.

"Good morning Snowflame." Bon Bon responded.

Lyra yawns loudly before saying, "Morning", in a half asleep mumble.

The coffee finishes and Snowflame grabs the pot handle. He then turns to see a coffee mug floating in a golden aura.

"Can I get a cup of that?" Lyra asked.

Snowflame shrugged as to say "Why not", and filled the mug 3/4 of the way.

"Thanks." Lyra said as she also used her magic to grab the cream and sugar. "Want any?" She asked the human.

"Snowflame doesn't need your no cream or sugar. Cream and sugar is for the weak!" Snowflame then downs the pot of black coffee.

Lyra rolls her eyes, "Yes, because drinking black coffee makes you so tough." She says sarcastically.

"Indeed it does." Snowflame says, with a white flame in his right hand.

"Well I'm off to work now." Bon Bon said, putting a bowl in the sink, "I'll see you both later." She walks up to Lyra giving her a quick kiss goodbye and then walking out the kitchen, and then through the front door.

Lyra places some bread in the toaster as Snowflame grabs an apple.

"You got any plans today?" Lyra asked.

"Snowflame was just going to go into town and see what happens." Snowflame responds.

"Okay, but don't cause too much property damage."

"How much is too much?"

"Any."

"Snowflame will make not promises."

Lyra take a deep breath and says, "Somehow I knew you wouldn't."

Some Snowflame finishes his apple and steps outside looking at all the ponies walking about this fine day. Some chatting, some shopping, some heading to work. Everypony had something to do.

"Now." Snowflame says to himself, "What to do?"

Name: Snowflame

Stats

Strenght: 7

Speed: 6

Intelligence: 4

Insanity: 9

Cocaine Addiction: 10

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle...

Prince Blueblood had awaken from his slumber and just stared at his reflection in the mirror. All over his coat were naked patches of skin, that were the result of being duct taped to the castle's ceiling by that creature named Snowflame at the Grand Galloping Gala last week.

"How dare that ape, that beast, that abomination against ponykind to this to me?" the Prince said to himself. "Who in Equestria thinks he is for putting a hoof... hand... whatever, on me! Not only that, but ruining my perfect coat."

Blueblood then gets an idea in his head, 'Well even though when I talked to Auntie Celestia, she found it funny and wouldn't arrest that creature for his crimes, I think there might be a way to get even with this Snowflame.'

Prince Blueblood opens his closet and pulls out a long black rode, that covered up his body and face. He then put it on for two reasons, one to hind his coat in general, and two so nopony could see where he'd be heading later that night.

"Oh yes Mr. Snowflame you will pay for your attack on my coat, I will assure you that. You will pay." a devilish grin soon grew on his face.

Name: Prince Blueblood

Stats

Strenght: 3

Speed: 3

Intelligence: 6

Douchebagery: 10

Political Power: 0

And Now A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Snowflame sat in a pink armchair near a fireplace, wearing a red bathrobe and white scarf. He seemed to be reading from a newspaper, he looks up and says, "Hello. You may have noticed that Snowflame put "everyone named Chad" on Snowflame's list of enemies. Now you may be wondering why did Snowflame do that? Well, it's because if someone's named Chad they are most likely a douchebag. So now if you are an expecting parent, if you have a boy, do not name him Chad. It will be for the best."

Snowflame then looks back at his newspaper, "You stupid cat! Why eat lasagna when you can have cocaine!"

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Cocaine Ponies and Zebras (2)

run into either Rarity, Sweetie Belle, or Prince Blueblood
mistake their white coats for cocaine and attempt to snort it.

Find a white-coated pony and mistake their coats for cocaine, then attempt to snort it.

While thinking about this, Snowflame see's his friends the CMC. There's the fruit one, the chicken (who is trying to jump a park bench with her scooter), and the one that looks like she is covered in Snowflame's precious powder. Maybe she is! Last time Snowflame saw her it wasn't the case, but perhaps that has changed.
After Snowflame finds out that she isn't and has a good laugh with the girls, the orange chicken challenges Snowflame to jump the park bench with her. So instead, jump 50
AT THE SAME TIME!!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Snowflame walks around town for a little bit before he sees a certain group of energetic fillies, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Scootaloo was on her scooter while Applebloom and Sweetie Belle set up a ramp out of a box and some plywood. Said ramp was pointing at a empty park bench.

Snowflame looked at Sweetie Belle and a though came to his mind, 'The unicorn is white like cocaine. Maybe she IS cocaine!'

"Well that looks good." Applebloom said, "Not so sure how helping Scootaloo jump this here bench will get our cutie marks, but here we darn here tried everything else."

Sweetie Belle was about to nod in agreement when she was unexpectedly lifted off the ground.

"W-What's going on?!" She shouts before looking up to see she was in the arms of Equestria's one and only human. "Oh hi Snowflame."

"Hush cocaine pony. Snowflame must snort you now!" Snowflame shouted.

"Wait what?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Snowflame then pressed his nose on Sweetie Belle back and inhaling. Yet, not getting any cocaine.

Sweetie Belle got an unamused expression on her face while her two friends burst out laughing at her expense.

Snowflame took his face off the filly stating, "You are not made of cocaine. Snowflame is disappointed." He puts Sweetie Belle back down, the other two Crusaders still laughing a little.

"Of course not! I am a normal pony!" Sweetie Belle exclaims.

Applebloom puts a hoof on Sweetie Belle and says, "Come now Sweetie Belle. Y'all can't be mad at him. He's just being Snowflame."

Sweetie Belle smiled a little and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Okay now that little moment is done, can I do this jump now?" Scootaloo exclaimed, ready on her scooter.

"Any time you're ready." Sweetie Belle said.

Scootaloo grinned as her wings started to flutter, making her scooter move forward and gaining speed. It wasn't long before she went up the makeshift ramp and soared over the bench, and landing with ease. She skidded to a stop, smiling triumphantly. "Aww yeah! That was awesome!" She exclaims, taking off her helmet.

Snowflame looks at the bench and backs up about 50 feet. He then starts running at then bench as fast as he could. When he reached the ramp he jumped right over the bench, and like Scootaloo on her scooter, stayed airborne for quite some time. When he landed he was a good 80 feet away from the bench.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders' jaws were just hanging at that point, but soon enough they ran to the human.

"How'd y'all do that?" Applebloom asked.

"That was amazing!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed

"It was like you were trying to jump over 50, at the same time!" Scootaloo added.

Snowflame smiles and says, "That's because Snowflame was. If someone dares you to do something, do it times 50."

The Crusaders looked at each other nervously before Scootaloo said, "Um... no offence Snowflame, but I don't think we should take your advice."

"You know, after the would Cutie Mark Crusader Supervillain thing." Sweetie Belle added.

"Besides if we did then we would have to try to get 50 cutie marks, and trust me, it's not fun." Applebloom stated.

Snowflame nodded and said, "Snowflame understands." He then turned around and added, "Snowflame will see you three fillies later.", before walking off.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders

Names: Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo

Stats

Strenght: 4, 3, 4

Speed: 4, 4, 6

Intelligence: 5, 4, 5

Singing Ability:7, 10, 2

Cuteness: 10, 10, 10

Midnight: From what I can assume from his character, I assume he would want to find a way to make cocaine.
Hey that rhymes! Way, cocaine? Well, kinda, but-
Midnight: Ahem.
Oh, right. Sorry, please continue.
Midnight: Anyways, I doubt he would succeed, given that his wisdom stat is low. Considering his insanity levels, I have no doubt that something or someone will blow up in a strange and comical fashion.

1.) Snowflame wanders around the main square, looking at various stalls.
2.) Snowflame sees the Zebra person Zecora come to one of the local flower shops, and decides to talk to her.
3.) After some verbal exchange, Snowflame's Cocaine sense tingles, and Zecora mentions her own garden in the Everfree being used to grow a Cocoa plant she received from a friend. Being who he is, Snowflame wishes to aid in this endeavor, due to Cocoa plants being the first step to re-creating Cocaine, and introducing it to his Pony friends.
4.) Zecora, never having heard of this, 'Cocaine', agrees and the two go off to her hut, where they begin seeing how they can allow the Cocoa plant to thrive...and allow Snowflame to bring his god, Cocaine, to the masses of his new world.

Snowflame really needs some true nose powder, the liquid cocaine keeps making Snowflame have to pee a lot.
Have it in Snowflame's mind to start a quest for his Great White God's true form, maybe some medicine pony (or zebra) knows the location of the cradle of life (Cocoa Plant).

Snowflame walk into the town's main square thinking to himself, 'With what just happened with the younger sister of Diamond Butt Stallion, Snowflame wonders if he can find a way to make cocaine'

He then stopped right before he walked right into a pony with some flowers, well actually it wasn't a pony. She had black and white stripes on her body, along with a black and white striped mohawk. She wore five golden rings on her front right leg and neck, along with large golden hooped earrings.

"Now who is this I have just met? I don't think I've seen anypony like you yet." The zebra said.

"Hello there rhyming zebra, I am Snowflame." Snowflame greeted

"My name is Zecora, I was just heading home with some flora." Zecora said.

"What for?"

"I have found some coca in the Everfree. It can be some use to me."

"Coca? You have coca?! Snowflame can bring cocaine to the ponies!"

"I know not of this cocaine. Do you mind telling me about it Snowflame?"

"Lets walk to the plants while Snowflame tells you."

Five minutes later in the Everfree Forest...

"So from this cocaine it is powers you gain." Zecora says.

"Yes, and even though coffee does the trick, it'd be nice to have my god again." Snowflame says.

The two reached Zecora's hut and stepped inside.

"So what else to we need to make the thing of your creed?"

Snowflame shrugged and said, "Snowflame isn't sure. Snowflame used to have other people make it."

Zecora sighed, "Well testing with a plant can be fun, excuse while I get the coca for I have none."

Zecora left her hut and within a few seconds Snowflame was looking around her hut. Snowflame found a bottle with some green liquid inside.

"Huh, Snowflame wonders what this is." Snowflame says as he reaches for it, but it slips away from him and crashes on the hut's floor.

Zecora was in the middle of picking the coca plant when a loud explosion made her jump. Not long after she saw the human she just met being sent flying in the air shouting, "Looks like Snowflame is blasting off agian!"

Zecora just stood there dumbfounded.

Names:Zecora

Stats

Strenght: 5

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 8

Potion Making: 10

Rhyming Skills: 10

So Snowflame is now flying through the air. Where will he land?

5.) Blueblood begins plotting, secretly trying to find out information on Snowflame at a place of ill repute...IE: Doughnut Joe's Doughnut shop. After all, a noble like him would find such a commoner's practice damaging to his image should he be recognized there.
6.) His comments and 'subtlety' get him thrown out in a comical fashion, with him landing in whatever substance would be most appropriate so long as he wails about his coat afterwards.

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Prince Blueblood, dressed in his hooded robe entered the most vile place he could think of. A commoner's doughnut shop. 'Thank Auntie Celestia I have this robe. Imagine what the press would say if they saw me with my coat like this, let alone in this place.' He though.

"Welcome to Doughnut Joe's" The pony behind the counter greeted. He was an off-white unicorn with a brown mane and green eyes. He was wearing a white shirt and hat, and his cutie mark was of a pink-frosted doughnut. He got a look of Blueblood in his robe and gained an expression of slight confusion. "You realize that Nightmare Night isn't until the end of October right?"

"Oh ha ha." Blueblood commented, walking up to the counter.

"What would you like sir?"

"I have no plans to partake in this commoner's crap, let alone actually pay for it."

Doughnut Joe's eyes narrowed a bit, "I'll have you know my doughnuts are of the highest quality."

"Oh please from a place a filthy as this, there's no way there's even a thing of high quality to you."

"I just cleaned the shop!"

"Now you have no need to shout at me, just because you were doomed to never make it far in life thanks to your cutie mark, you don't have to take it out on me."

Doughnut Joe's horn lit up with a green arua that soon was around the cloaked pony, and within two seconds the prince was sent right though the front door.

"And stay out!" Doughnut shouted.

Blueblood landed onto the asphalt outside. He stood up with a huff, "Well that was rude. I guess I'll have to look elsewhere."

Author's Note

Well here is my first time writing for Zecora. I hope it doesn't suck.

Rainbow Dash Always Dresses in Style (3)

REMEMBER SNOWFLAME!!! REMEMBER!!!
REMEMBER YOUR GOD!! REMEMBER HOW YOU TAUGHT THE OTHER HUMANS ABOUT ME!!! REMEMBER THAT IT WAS YOU WHO BROUGHT IT TO THEM!!!! YOU MAY NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE COCAINE YOURSELF, BUT YOU KNOW HOW TO BRING IT TO OTHERS, AND FROM THAT, YOU'VE WATCHED OTHER PEOPLE MAKE IT!!! REMEMBER SNOWFLAME, REMEMBER!!!!!!

Those words echoed on Snowflame's head, but seeing someone do something doesn't always mean you how to do it yourself.

Wherever Snowflame lands make sure it leads to some kind of awkward situation.

Snowflame lands in Rainbow Dash's rainbow swimming pool in her cloud house (How can he walk on clouds? Because he's Snowflame!).
Snowflame then must taste the rainbow pool, it must taste like skittles. It's a bit spicy, but it doesn't burn nearly as good as Cocaine.
Snowflame then sees Rainbow Dash doing something embarrassing and out of character (Maybe she's trying on a fancy dress)
Snowflame says: "Rainbow Dash always dresses in style" and laughs at his joke.
Rainbow Dash in thoroughly embarrassed and screams in rage at Snowflame and tells him to leave
Snowflame shrugs, says goodbye then does a cannonball into the lake below Rainbow's house, the water goes so high it soaks her.

1.) Snowflame is first aware of landing on his head, this produces no pain, as Snowflame cannot feel it. And the blow itself is not harmful, both due to is extreme toughness and the cushioning effect of the excess brain matter in his head he is not using...and the fact he landed on cloud.
2.) Upon reorienting himself, Snowflame observes his surroundings, seeing himself on a Cloudhouse, (Possible since he was exposed to a Cloudwalking spell and his own powers have kept it fueled and active ever since first exposure.) Looking around he sees the Liquid Rainbow Waterfall, and decides to taste it. He then flashes back to the creation of a batch of Cocaine he witnessed, and realizes most of the chemical smells and such are in the Liquid Rainbow in his mouth!
3.) Moving to the house to ask the owner to aid him in his noble cause, he witnesses Rainbow Dash in a fancy (Read Gala) dress. She is still very good-looking in it, but she frets, both due to this being a girly activity and the fact she is insecure.
4.) Snowflame, for a change knocks, and Rainbow is distracted enough to answer in the dress.
5.) Their conversation is kept strictly to the liquid rainbow, which Dash gives permission for a small amount to be harvested for his use.
6.) Sitting awkwardly, Snowflame compliments Rainbow Dash on looking very nice, though as a human, his sense of good looking may be different than Equestrian norm.
7.) Rainbow, both embarrassed and yet hopeful, asks if he really thinks so.
8.) Snowflame confirms, and wonders aloud if she has her eyes on somepony, and if so, would she like aid.
9.) Rainbow may confirm or deny, but either way, Snowflame leaves his offer standing, for whenever she might need the aid.
10.) Snowflame then departs with the sample of Rainbow, looking to head back to Zecora's hut, in hopes of a new incarnation of his god Rising.

Snowflame then lands rather softly on something. Snowflame sits up to see a three story cloudhouse with muti-colored waterfalls coming off the sides.

"Liquid rainbows?" Snowflame ask himself, "Maybe it taste like Skittles!" He the dives to one of the small pools of rainbow and dunks his whole head in it, drinking some of it up. He almost immediately lifted his head out of the pool, spitting out the liquid rainbow. Not that it was bad or anything. It's just when you're hopping for fruity goodness and get pure spiciness, you get taken by surprise.

Snowflame stares at it for a few seconds pondering to himself, "It doesn't taste like Skittles, but it might make good hot sauce. Now Snowflame needs a jar." He turns to the cloudhouse. Perhaps the house's owner has one they could spare.

Snowflame walks up the front door knocking on it six times.

A few seconds later the door is answered by a cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow mane and magenta eye. She was also wearing a fancy red gala dress. She got a confused look on her face, "What are you doing here and how are you standing on clouds? Did Twilight cast the cloud walking spell on you?"

"Oh hi Rainbow Covered Pony." Snowflame greeted, "Snowflame just kinda dropped in here and Snowflame doesn't exactly know how he's diding this. Anyways can Snowflame barrow a jar?"

"Why?"

Snowflame points to the liquid rainbow and says, "Snowflame thinks he can make some hot sauce out of that"

Rainbow shruggs and flies into her house, coming back a few seconds later with empty glass jar.

"Thanks.", Snowflame say, "Oh and nice dress by the way."

"Wait what?" Rainbow asks before realizing what he meant, her face turning a bright crimson.

"Is there a special somepony you're dressing up for?"

"What?! No no no no no, of course not." Rainbow defended, "This is just for a wedding in Cloudsdale I swear!"

"Whatever you say." Snowflame said before walking over to the pool, filling up the jar and jumping down the cloud.

Snowflame lands on the ground with his jar of rainbow water, and wonders where to go next? Should he go back to Zecora? Considering he kinda blew up her hut, that might not be wise.

Name: Rainbow Dash

Stats

Strenght: 7

Speed: 10

Intelligence: 6

Awesomeness: 10

Best Ponyness: 10

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Meanwhile Prince Blueblood steps in gum and while trying to scrape it off on a nearby trashbin, Fancy Pants rounds the corner and thinks he's a homeless pony, so he gives him a few bits and his condolences and walks off.
Blueblood is angered by this, so he mentally adds Fancy Pants to "The List" along with Donut Joe and Snowflame.

Prince Blueblood walked the streets of Canterlot, getting looks from everypony who past him, mostly due to his dark robe. He paid them no mind since he was the prince after all.

As he was walking he felt something sticky under one of his fronthooves, he lifts said hoof to see a flattened wad of chewed, light blue gum.

Blueblood's eye widened as he rushed over to a trash can in a nearby ally going, "Ewewewewewewewewew!"

At the same time Fancy Pants, a white unicorn stallion with a blue mane, walked by the same ally seeing the cloaked pony digging though the trash. Feeling sorry for what he assumed was a homeless pony, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a few bits and dropping them by the pony's hooves.

Blueblood looked at the bits on the ground and then to Fancy Pants who simply smiled and said, "Take care of yourself." before walking away.

'What?!' Blueblood thought, 'How dare he think of me as a mere street rat!'

Now with the gum off he walks off in a huff, leaving the bits there.

11.) Blueblood, Still in Canterlot, is now looking to find an alternative means of getting to Snowflame, and looks up the famous Cellist, Octavia Philaharmonica.
12.) Upon finding her apartment, he is met by one, DJ Pon3, Ie, Vinyle Scratch.
13.) Seeing the obviously lower-class mare, he threatens to call the guards and arrest her for breaking and entering, with the DJ rebuffing him that a poster child for "Rich and Challenged" should try learning to walk and breath at the same time.
14.) The exchange brings out Octavia, who knows full well who the Prince is, tries to curb Vinyl, while Blueblood then gasps, thinking this is a hostage situation.
15.) Vinyl becoming more enraged, and Octavia more exasperated, punches the prince, saying why she'd be holder her own Filly-friend hostage.
16.) Blueblood smirks, saying that it's obviously a lie, as no Canterlot raised mare would degrade herself with such a low-class no account ruffian.
17.) Octavia herself freezes before kindly asking the prince to repeat that. Not noticing her undertone, Blueblood does just that, smirking at Vinyle, who now looks to Octavia in fear.
18.) Octavia herself then launches herself at Blueblood, Base Guitar in hand, ranting about how she'd gunna "Drop the base, ON YOUR HEAD!!" Vinyl quickly calls for the guards, before settling back with a bag of popcorn, saying, "That's my Tavi!" As the scene ends, we hear Blueblood's screams.

Blueblood then made his way to the apartment of somepony that my no something about this Snowflame, famous cellist Octavia. He walks up to the door labeled 2B and knocked upon the door, which is answered by a white unicorn mare, with a unkempt blue and light blue mane, music note for a cutie mark, and magenta eyes.

"Who in Equestria are you?" Blueblood asked, "Your not Octavia, and by the way you look you are obviously a lower-class mare and no way you could afford an apartment like this."

"And who are you?! I think somepony who looks like you has no right to talk! I mean what's up with that robe?" The mare responds.

"Vinyl, what's going on?" a pose voice asks as a grey earth pony mare with a black mane, and purple eyes, walked out from another room.

"Oh she is here. Wait, is she your prisoner?!" Blueblood shouts.

"What?! Why would I kidnap my marefriend?" Vinyl asks.

Blueblood rolls his eyes, "Oh that is obviously a lie. No Canterlot raised mare would degrade herself in such a relationship with such a low-class no account ruffian."

Octavia freezes for a second before calmly asking, "Would you mind running by me again?"

"A mare like you would never be with this ruffian unless you had brain damage."

The next thing Blueblood knew he was pulled into the apartment by somepony's hoof and thrown to the ground.

Blueblood looks up to see Octavia with nothing but pure rage in her eyes, "How dare you come to my apartment and insult me and my Vinyl!" She then grabs a nearby bass guitar, "Now I'm going to drop the bass on your head!"

"Don't! Ow! Please! Ow! I'm! Ow!" Blueblood shouted with each hit.

Vinyl just stared at this, smiling, "I love that mare."

Names: Octavia & Vinyl Scratch

Stats

Strenght: 5, 5

Speed: 5, 5

Intelligence: 7, 4

Classical Music Talent: 9, 0

Dubstep Talent:0, 10

And Now A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

"SKITTLES ARE AWESOME!" Snowflame shouts.

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Epic Pizza Time (4)

1.) Snowflame, now in possession of a Hot Sauce base, looks to the market to find more spices to add to the already potent substance.
2.) Entering the Market place, he then ponders what Ponies would put hot sauce on, since they don't eat meat.
3.) The answer of course comes to him, PIZZA!! Snowflame then seeks among the stalls any mention of the circular food.
4.) After checking with numerous ponies, including a rather oddly tempered pony names Rose Luck, Snowflame is aware pizza exists here, and so do the ingredients...but there are no Pizza Places in Ponyville!!
5.) Realizing the untapped Market, Snowflame resolves to open Ponyville's first Pizza Joint, though he now needs other ponies interested in helping him, as he'd never made a Pizza in his life.
6.) Looking to the Cakes, he finds Pinkie, who while able to make Pizza, declines his offer to start a new business, as she's quite happy with the Cakes.
7.) On her recommendation, Snowflame seeks out another pony who might be interested, or rather, a Dragon.
8.) Snowflame finds himself in Golden Oaks/Books and Branches Library, where he finds Spike, and asks if he would like to be partners in the venture.
9.) Spike, both knowing how to make Pizza, and having grown rather tired of Twilight not being home a lot due to princess duties, agrees on the stipulation they hire other ponies to learn from him and become the normal staff. Spike still wants to be able to be home often, in case Twilight does come home.
10.) With the deal struck, the two seek out other ponies (With or without talents) to staff their new store, while they argue about being called either "Spike's Place" or "Cocaine Paradise".

Snowflame travels to the Ponyville market, finding other spices to use for his hot sauce, but he had a question on his mind. What exactly do ponies put hot sauce on? He knew that Pinkie Pie puts in on cupcakes on sometimes, but they have to put it on something other than that. Then the answer comes to him, pizza! Hot sauce is great on pizza. Wait is there any pizza places in Ponyville?

Snowflame turns to the nearest pony, a cream colored earth pony mare with a red mane, and asked, "Excuse me, but is there any pizza places in this town?"

The mare shrugged and said, "I don't think so."

"Good enough for Snowflame." Snowflame says as he runs off to the first pony he thought of that could help him make some pizza, Pinkie Pie.

Five Minutes Later...

Snowflame arrived at Sugarcube Corner seeing the pink mare he was lookin for behind the counter.

Pinkie smiled and said, "Oh hello Snowfy, how are you doing?"

"Snowflame is good."

"Let me guess you want your usual. Okay, five dozen cupcakes coming right up."

"Actually, Snowflame is here to make an offer."

"Oh really? What kind of offer?" Pinkie asked.

"Snowflame wants to make some hot sauce and pizza. Snowflame figured you would be able to help Snowflame."

"Well, I would love to help, but I have to run the shop while Mr. and Mrs. Cake are out. Maybe Spike can help you. I'm sure he knows how to make pizza."

"Okay, thanks anyways." Snowflame says as he walks out of the bakery. His next destination, Golden Oaks Library.

Five More Minutes Later...

Snowflame kicked open the door of the tree library and walked in only to find the purple baby dragon he was looking for, putting some books back onto a shelf.

"You, male main character, Snowflame needs your help."

"Whu?" Spike asked the human, while still putting away books.

"The pink pony said you may know how to make pizza."

"Yeah I do. Why do you want to make some?"

"Indeed Snowflame does."

Spike put the last book away and says, "Okay, but if its a business you want to start we'll need to hire some ponies."

"Business? Snowflame has no time for a business. Snowflame just wants some pizza to put this rainbow hot sauce on." Snowflame lifts the jar of liquid rainbow for Spike to see.

"Ah okay. Let's do this."

So they gather all the ingredients. Dough, flour, tomato sauce, cheese, peppers, onions, and something a little extra.

"Epic pizza time!" Snowflame exclaims, "I am Snowflame, this is Spike and today we're going to show you how to make pizza, pony style!"

"Um... Snowflame wno are you talking to?" Spike asked only to be ignored.

"We got here our dough, and we're going to roll the bitch out." Snowflame says while rolling the dough into a less than perfect circle. He pops the top off of a jar of sauce. "Now we need some sauce on this :yay:er!" He then dumps the sauce onto the dough. "Now the cheese!" Snowflame lifts up a bag of pre-shredded cheese,and dumps it on as well. "More cheese. More Cheese. More cheese!"

"Umm... Snowflame, that's a lot of cheese." Spike comments

"Now we add the mother:yay:ing vegies for all the ponies who can't eat meat out there." Snowflame literally throws the peppers and onions onto the pizza. "But trust Snowflame, we got some more :yay: to put on this bitch. Hay bacon strips! Hay bacon stripes! Hay bacon stripes! Hay bacon stripes!" Snowflame says as he places said hay bacon stripes onto the pizza, "Now we add this mother:yay:ing rainbow hot sauce onto this :yay:er!" Snowflame pours about a fourth of the liquid rainbow onto the pizza. "Now Spike cook this bitch!"

Spike took a deep breath before exhaling green flames onto the pizza. When he was done the crust was brown, the cheese had melted and the hay bacon was nice and crispy.

"And that's how you make a :yay:ing pizza!" Snowflame exclaims, "Now we eat."

Snowflame cut the pizza, picked up a slice and took his first bite. It was amazing, the peppers and onions complemented each other well, but the hay bacon, which did taste exactly like regular bacon to Snowflame's surprise, was nice and juicy. Finally the rainbow hot sauce gave it a nice spiciness.

20 Minutes and One Pizza Later...

"Wow that was good." Spike said patting his stomach.

"Indeed." Snowflame said, standing up, "Do you need Snowflame's help cleaning up?"

"Nah, I got it."

"Okay."

So after a well deserved lunch Snowflame lest the library with the rest of his hot sauce, off to whatever would happen to him next.

Name: Spike

Stats

Strenght: 4

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 6

Cooking: 8

Likeliness to be shipped with any female character: 10

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Prince Blueblood manages to escape with no more than a few dozen bruises, and decides to just go to the train station, only to forget where Snowflame lives.

Prince Blueblood Wakes up finding himself In a roof of a train with a masked guy calling himself Obito.

Also, find a rival. It's been ages since you've had a good battle :pinkiehappy:

Prince Blueblood, limping a little from the attack he received at the hooves of Miss Octavia, made his way to the train station. Not where he wanted to go.

"Oh great I'm lost. No of this would have happened if it wasn't for Snowflame." Blueblood said to himself.

"So, this Snowflame is causing you some problems?" a voice asked.

"W-Who said that?" Blueblood asked.

Seemingly out of the shadows came a purple unicorn stallion with a blond mane, what looked like three golden claws for a cutie mark, and he was wearing a white mask over his face. "Greetings I am Obito. Are you lookin for some special help with this Snowflame pony?"

"Wait, are you a hitpony?"

"You can say that. Still answer my question."

"Why yes I would like some help, but he's not a pony. He's an ape creature know as a human. Basically coatless, but has a long white mane, and he stands on two legs. Can't miss him. I think he lives in Ponyville."

"Very well. I can take care of him, but be warned, my work doesn't come cheep."

"Oh, don't worry, I can pay. Only as long as you complete your goal."

"Of course. Handsome fighters never lose battles."

So after Obito boarded the next train to Ponyville, Blueblood began to walk back to the castle.

12.) Attempting to make his way back to his mansion, he is accosted by several royal guards, who see him and 'believe' him to be an intruder.
13.) Insulting the guards intelligence, they see him as "Assaulting an officer", and have him hauled away from questioning.
14.) Upon arrival, he is charged with being a changeling and having replaced the real Blueblood, with false facts such as "the prince's Kindness, integrity, and generosity" being used to describe the "real Blueblood", which anypony nearby is just an excuse to hold him, while Blueblood eats the praise up, despite himself. Since the "Fake Prince" exhibits none of these traits, he is obviously a changeling doing a bad job at replacing him.

Blueblood got back to Canterlot Castle about ten minutes later, and began to walk up to it only to be stopped by the wings of two pegasus guards.

"Stop right there!" One of them ordered.

"Who are you?" The other asked.

"Are you two idiots? I'm Prince Blueblood." Blueblood stated.

"Oh yeah than prove it."

Blueblood sighed and pulled down his hood, showing them his patchy coat. "Is this proof enough for you?"

"No it is not. Due to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza being replaced by the changeling queen well over a year ago, we can't take the chance of you being a changeling spy."

"You two think I'm one of those vile bugs?! How dare you?! I'll have my aunt Celestia court martial both of you for this."

"Well, you made it too obvious, the real Prince Blueblood is described from his kindness, integrity, and generosity. Which you are showing none of."

"Well I can't argue with those statements used to describe me, I've had a bad day, and I just want to go home."

Blueblood tried to walk past them only for the two guards to knock him to the ground, and place a metal ring with some purple gem on it around his neck.

"What is this?" The prince asked.

"Anti-magic collar." One of the guards said.

"Until we have more proof that you're to real Prince Blueblood we have to keep you within a cell.

About 15 minutes later Blueblood was sitting in the middle of a room with just four walls, three stone, one of metal bars, and he exclaims, "Why does the universe hate me?"

Author's Note

Okay so it turns out Obito is the name of a Naruto character. Since I don't know much about Naruto after Toonami went off the air a few years ago, I'm going to treat this guy as ponified version of Vega from Street Fighter, just with that name.

Muffin Button (5)

1.) Snowflame, full from the delicious (And nutritious) pizza, seeks out more things to do.
2.) Having already been to the town Square, Snowflame decides to wander randomly, and near the edge of town, sees a house with an odd Blue Barn/Blue Police Box next to it. Snowflame is quite certain either is rather unusual in Equestria.
3.) Deciding to ask about it, Snowflame knocks on the door, and is greeted by the local Mail-Mare Ditsy Derpina Hooves ne Doo. Knowing the bubbly mare from random encounters around town he greets her warmly, and asks how things have been.
4.) After a few minutes of happy chatting, Snowflame asks about the odd blue structure next to her house. She mentions it belongs to the local stallion most know as Time Turner.
5.) Snowflame further asks why said stallion has such an odd object, and she says he mentioned something about, ""Making sure the old girl is taken care of. Her last outing certainly left her tuckered out.""
6.) Snowflame, now even more curious, and a touch frustrated, asks if he can go inside.
7.) Derpy isn't sure if he should, but then remembers the "Muffin Button" that is inside, and says they can go long enough to get a few muffins.
8.) Now near the level of terminal confusion, Snowflame agrees, and once Derpy opens the door and enters, Snowflame follows.
9.) When Snowflame looks around, he falls to his knees and says, "COCAINE!!! MY GOD, YOU HAVE RETURNED TO ME! THIS PLACE DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE IT SHOULD FROM THE OUTSIDE!!"
10.) Derpy, munching on a muffin that's been produced, says, "Of course not silly, Time Turner never does anything that predictable. Though usually when somepony goes in here they say it's bigger on the inside for some strange reason."

Snowflame, walking randomly around town makes his way to what at first would seem like a normal house, well actually it was, the strange part about it was something right next to it. It was a blue phone booth like thing with the words "Police Box" on it.

Snowflame got closer up to it, still unsure what it was, but his attention was quickly grabbed away from it by a certain grey pegasus mare with a blond mane, crossed yellow eyes, and a bunch of bubbles for a cutie mark.

"Hi there!" she greeted, "I'm..."

"Snowflame know who you are." Snowflame said,

"You do?"

"Yes, you are Derpy Hooves. You're quite famous where Snowflame is from."

"I am?"

"Yes, people like you to the point that they'll got nuts if your voice changes."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"Okay, so I see that you're looking at the TARDIS. It belongs to The Doctor, I think he said he's 'letting the old girl rest after her last trip'."

"Trip? What's this even used for?"

"Well, I can show you the inside, as long as we can use the muffin button."

"There's a muffin button?"

"Yup, it took me a while to talk The Doctor into adding it. Though he doesn't use it much, he eats butter more than anything. That can't be good for him."

"Bah, that's nothing. Do you know what Snowflame used to have for breakfast? Cocaine! Lunch? Cocaine! And Dinner?"

"Cocaine?"

"Exactly! Anyways, how will both of use fit in this thing?"

"Oh, you'll see." The grey mare says, unlocking the door with a key in her mouth. She opens lit, letting Snowflame step inside.

Snowflame looked at the large room in awe. "COCAINE!!! MY GOD, YOU HAVE RETURNED TO ME! THIS PLACE DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE IT SHOULD FROM THE OUTSIDE!!" He exclaimed.

"Of course not silly, The Doctor never does anything that predictable. Though usually when somepony goes in here they say it's bigger on the inside for some strange reason." Derpy said, walking to the muffin button, "So, uh... Snowflame was it, what kind of muffin do you want?"

Snowflame tapped his chin and said, "Snowflame is not sure. Snowflame is trying to chose between chocolate chip or blueberry."

"Why not one of each? Or even better, one with both chocolate chips and blueberries."

Snowflame stood there for a few seconds to take that suggestion in before exclaiming, "You are a genius! One chocolate chip and blueberry muffin please."

Derpy pressed down on the muffin button a few times to make a fresh batch of nice warm muffins appear out of thin air.

The two ate there muffins as Derpy explained what the TARDIS was.

One explanation and a batch of muffins later...

"So this is a time machine?" Snowflame asked.

"Yup, The Doctor has taken me all over time and space."

"Maybe you two can take Snowflame one day." Snowflame suggested.

"Maybe, but I'll have to ask The Doctor first."

"Ask me what?" A British sounding voice asked.

Snowflame turned to see a light brown earth pony with a darker brown mane, blue eyes and an hourglass for a cutie mark.

What does he do now?

Name: Ditzy "Derpy Hooves" Doo

Stats

Strenght: 5

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 5

Cuteness: 8

Lovableness: 9

11.) Blueblood, now in prison, begins to think about his life, all the events that lead him here. In a moment of extreme clarity, he questions if it was...in fact...all his own fault?
12.) The moment passes quickly and he determines that Square are to blame here, "After all, circles betrayed that other mare, what's her name...the blue one who defeated an Ursa Major...eh, not important."
13.) Upon this revelation, he calls the guards demanding they round out all the edges and points in his cell, and demanding that all his meal trays be either plates or triangles.

Blueblood sat in his cell thinking of who was a fault here, since it surely wasn't his own fault.

Other than Snowflame the only other thin that could be fault here are squares.

"I knew I should have never trusted squares, with there corners that you can get your suit caught on or even worse the corners actually cutting you." Blueblood said to himself before standing up, "Guards! If you insist of keeping me in here the I demand that you put all my meals on round plates, or if the are squares then make sure they have rounded edges!"

"You're in no place to demand anything chaneling!" A guard says back.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I AM THE REAL BUCKING PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!"

"Sure you are and I'm a 50 foot tall purple manticore with pink spots and a rainbow colored mane." The guard said sarcastically.

Blueblood is soon discovered by Celestia, who basically decided to take him out and hear his entire story. At the hitman part, she knows that s:yay: will go down.

14.) Celestia, having come down to see how her dear nephew could have been imprisoned, hears this from a few cells down, and looks to the guard on duty.
15.) "I'm sorry, your majesty. But he had been rather off, if you recall in his assumptions of the world. I suppose this result was inevitable." The guard says, using this fortuitous turn of random as justification for the arrest. "He's a danger to himself and others, I propose he be moved to a private facility where he can have the best of care."
16.) Celestia, now confronted with this idea, asks for some time to speak with her sister. The guard, seeing her leave, calls one of his Pegasus fellows and tells him to find princess Luna and get her in on this.
17.) The other guard grins widely, speeding off, knowing of the Lunar Mare's disdain for the pompous prince, he had every confidence that the blowhard would finally meet a justified end.

That's when a white alicorn mare came up to the cell, "Excuse me sir, but why is my nephew imprisoned?" she asked the pegasus stallion.

"Your majesty, we aren't sure that this is the real Blueblood. We beleave of him to be a changeling spy, who's taken the place of the Prince for whatever reason." The guard stated. "We we're looking out for your safety."

"Well I thank you for doing your job, but there's already proof against your theory."

"Oh and what's that Princess? With all due respect."

"You put an anti-magic collar on him, which if he was indeed a changeling, the collar would of reverted him back to his true form. We did design them to do so."

The guard looked at Princess Celestia, then at Prince Blueblood, "I'm sorry, your majesty. But he had been rather off, if you recall in his assumptions of the world. I suppose this result was inevitable." The guard says, using this fortuitous turn of random as justification for the arrest. "He's a danger to himself and others, I propose he be moved to a private facility where he can have the best of care."

"What?!" Blueblood exclaims, "How dare you try to justify this! You and the other guards who put me in here will be lucky to be reassigned to the dragon badlands after all this is over!"

"Maybe he has a point dear nephew." Celestia said, "You seem a bit off, tell me what happened while we get a guard to tell Luna about this to see what she thinks."

The guard nodded and pointed to the nearest guard, another pegasus, this one dark blue with a light purple mane, "You! Go get Princess Luna!"

"What? I'm no my break." The blue pegasus complained.

"Are you questioning an order form a superior officer?"

"Superior? I'm Lt. Arrow, the head of the archery squad. What's your rank?"

"I-I started last month."

"Now why don't you go get Princess Luna?"

"Y-Yes sir." The newer guard said before flying off.

Celestia turned back to Blueblood and said, "Now, tell me what happened."

Name: Princess Celestia

Stats

Strenght: 7

Speed: 8

Intelligence: 9

Political Power: 10

Trollness: 8

Author's Note

For those of you who know my other works you may recall Lt. Light Arrow as a character from my stories, Spawn of Disharmony and The Supernumeraries. And if you haven't read those stories, check them out.

Does promoting my own stuff make me an attention whore? :twilightblush:

Snowflames in Time (6)

Snowflame has hung around Linkara a lot, so he knows what the sonic screwdriver looks like and a Cybermat, he should bring those up in discussion with the Doctor.
Snowflame should also ask for a cocaine button from the Doctor.

Doctor:
Don't trust Snowflame for obvious reasons, but then go "screw that" and take him on a time travel journey anyway, cause YOU ARE THE DOCTOR WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!? :pinkiehappy:

1.) Snowflame, having lived with Linkara, knows a little about the Doctor, like his Sonic Screwdrivers and the Cybermats being from his universe. He then discuses with the Doctor how he could be real in this world, as his show belongs to what seems to be an entirely different universe.
2.) Mild to short discussion begins, punctuated by eating of muffins. The topic of Cocaine is raised, and the Doctor sees how it benefits Snowflame and admits he's not certain how it would effect Ponies at all.
3.) Snowflame asks for a Cocaine button, but the Doctor says he hardly knows the fellow, and doesn't yet trust him with full access to the TARDIS. When questioned how the Doctor will trust him, said Time Lord says, "Why, by sharing proper adventures of course!"
4.) Cue Snowflame's first Doctor themed adventure, to the distant past where Equestria was still under Discord's rule, and Snowflame gets to see the Mighty Mad God at his peek...which really wasn't all that horrible. Yeah, he's majorly making things inconvenient for ponies, but no-pony is actually getting hurt, no pony is going hungry, committing crime, nor are they without safe havens like their homes. In fact, some ponies and foals LIKE how things are, and while not fanatics to Discord, they certainly regard him warmly.
5.) This puzzles the Doctor and Derpy, who've been there before, but a bit forward in time, and see this Discord as a vast, if quirky improvement. Snowflame decides to ask said god for help in his quest for Cocaine.
6.) After hearing what the substance is, and what it can do, Discord decides to make 2 items that can summon unlimited amounts of Cocaine. Snowflame gets one, rejoices, and promptly uses his to get a few hits, going "White Super Sayin" before rampaging a few seconds before passing out.
7.) Discord, seeing this, promptly eats his, activating it inside his stomach, and commenting on it tasting like yellow before his eyes become blood-shot, his demeanor far more sinister, and his powers begin to bring everything to a much darker, and more dangerous state.
8.) Horrified, Derpy and the Doctor leave with Snowflame, heading back to the present where they discuss that it was Snowflame's fault everything went wrong and the Princesses had to seal Discord. Also, given the history of Equestria, the time they were in is now a fixed point, and they cannot undo it.
9.) The Doctor tries to remove the band from Snowflame, but can't. Instead, he creates a limit on it, only allowing for a certain amount to be gained a day. He isn't sure what amount it's limited to, but hopefully not enough to cause this level of trouble again.
10.) Arriving back, Snowflame is tossed out of the TARDIS, and the two time Travelers seek out Discord. Derpy distracts him, while the Doctor makes him throw up via Sonic Screwdriver, many...many things come up, until the now infamous band shows itself. Instantly, Discord is less out of his mind, and in fact, thanks the Doctor, before going into massive, even crippling withdrawal. To the point he can't move or think, let alone summon more or gain back the band.
11.) Derpy and the Doctor look to each other, before resolving to contact Celestia, who will want to know about this.

Snowflame suddenly puts two and two and two together and exclaims, "Wait you're THE Doctor!"

"Yes, I am The Doctor." The stallion responded, not seeming phased at all by the human.

"Snowflame old friend the Fedora Wearing Comic Book Nerd, also known as Linkara, is a fan of yours."

"A fan of mine?"

"Yup, he even made that thing you use. What was it called? Oh yeah, a Mario Jackhammer!"

"Wait, are you talking about my sonic screwdriver?" The Doctor asked, pulling out said all purpose unless it's made of wood tool.

"Isn't that what Snowflame said?"

The Doctor chuckles a bit and say, "You know what I like you. Wanna go on an adventure?"

Snowflame raises his fist in the air and exclaims, "On words and off words!"

"Don't you mean onwards and upwards?" Derpy asked.

"Nope."

"Well okay then." The Doctor said now flipping some switches on the TARDIS, "Allons-y!" He shouts as it makes it's famous sound.

When the TARDIS rematerialises it doesn't take long for Snowflame to rush outside to see when they where.

It was an old pony village. Dirt roads, basic wooden houses with hay roofs, ponies working the field.

"No offence Doctor, but this is uninteresting." Snowflame says only to have a ball of cold minty freshness fit him in the face.

Snowflame grabs whatever hit him off of his face to see that it was a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He then looks to the sky to see it raining balls of ice cream of all sorts of flavors.

The Doctor smiles and said, "Snowflame, welcome to Equestria, under Discord's rule."

"What?!" Derpy shouts, "This is a dark time in Equestria! Were everypony's lives were miserable! Why would you bring us here?! Are you insane?!"

"That doesn't look like misery to Snowflame." Snowflame says pointing to a bunch of ponies, mostly foals, playing in the ice cream.

"But, I, what?" Derpy asked confused.

"Now why would I cause misery?" A disembodied voice asked, only for a flash of light to make a certain god of choas appear. Yet, Discord looked different, his body was shorted and less snake-like, he stood on four legs like a pony, and whe thing the stood out the most was that his eyes weren't yellow with red pupils of two different sizes, but instead they looked like normal sky blue eyes. "That's not my department, yet I know this goblin who loves spreading misery. I don't like that guy. At all. Oh, where are my manners, greetings I am Discord, ruler of this fine land."

The Doctor and Derpy looked at each other puzzled, knowing something wasn't right, while Snowflame walked up to the draconequus and asked, "So you can do anything you want, right?"

"Yes, I mostly uses those powers to pull little pranks on my ponies, but it's all in good fun."

"Can Snowflame make a request?"

"Of course."

"Snowflame needs his god to return to him! Give Snowflame unlimited cocaine!"

"I have no idea what this 'cocaine' is, but I'll give it my best shot." And with a snap of Discord's claws and two red bands appeared of of thin air.

Snowflame picked one up and said, "This is not cocaine."

"Oh really, try putting it on." Discord said.

Snowflame slipped the red band into his arm, and within a few seconds his body was covered in white flames.

"Are you alright?!" Discord exclaimed, not sure what was happening.

"YES! SNOWFLAME IS MORE THAN ALRIGHT! COCAINE, MY GOD, SNOWFLAME HAS MISSED YOU! I CAN FEEL YOU WITHIN MY VAINS! NOW I SHALL BURN BRIGHTER THAN EVER BEFORE!" the flames died down a bit, and Snowflame said, "Snowflame thanks you Discord. Wait what are you going to do with the other one?

Discord shrugs and eats the other red band, and within a few seconds Discord started grabbing his chest and feel over.

"What happening?!" Derpy asked.

"Is he having a heart attack?" The Doctor asked, only to be interrupted by laughter from Discord. Who stood back up, this time on two legs and when he opened his eyes they where the yellow and red that he was known for.

"Ah, I see everything clearly now." He said with a devilish grin, now if you excuse me I have to spread some chaos." The then disappeared laughing.

Back in the TARDIS...

"So is it Snowflame's fault that Discord turned evil?" Derpy asked.

"Hey, in Snowflames defense, Snowflame didn't make him do it. Yet, it's good to see that somepony here in Equestria now knows the magic of cocaine." Snowflame said.

"He's right, kinda." The Doctor said, "Discord did eat the cocaine band on his own choice, so we can't point hooves at Snowflame. Besides knowing Equestria's history, that is now a time locked event, so we can't fix it now, but we can do something with Snowflame's band."

The Doctor takes out the sonic screwdriver and points it at the band."

Snowflame looks at him confused, "What did you do?"

"I was trying to remove it, but the best I can do was put a daily limit on it."

"Why would you do that?!" Snowflame shouted in anger.

"Just for your own safety. Now may I ask you to exit the TARDIS? Ditzy and I have work to do."

So, Snowflame leaves the time machine, which was now back in present day Ponyville, and the TARDIS disappears behind him.

Not soon after a golden claw wrapped in an orange aura flew at Snowflame's chest. Snowflame dodges it just in time. He turns to see a purple unicorn with a blond mane, wearing a white mask.

"Snowflame I presume?" The unicorn asked.

"Yes, I am Snowflame."

"Good, I am Obito. I am your doom.

Name: The Doctor

Stats

Strenght: 3

Speed: 6

Intelligence: 10

Awesomeness: 10

Time Travel Expience: 10

After telling his story to Celestia, Celestia throws in her two bits. Luna arrives, and embarrassing actions ensue against Blueblood, which we call being trolled. Blueblood runs away in tears, and swears vengeance on those who 'wronged' him.

In the Jailhouse, Luna enters and is clearly peeved about something, which makes Blueblood nervous to the point of hiccuping.

Celestia is very displeased at the hitman and decides to just leave Blueblood there to teach him some manners. Blueblood's douchebag levels rise by two points. :twistnerd:

Blueblood:
Do what you always do. Be wrong.

12.) With Blueblood, he now paces his room in circles, muttering how it's not his fault, and that he won't let the 'squares' have their way.
13.) When he looks up, he sees Celestia outside his cell, asking what has happened.
14.) "It was horrible Aunty Celestia!! Those brutes roughed me up outside my own home, after I spent so much time trying to dig up dirt on that dirty Ape-fellow Snowflame! And even the masked pony that was supposed to make him pay doesn't seem to be reliable! Worse yet, I've been stuck here, dirty, with all these four-by-four objects and CORNERS! They're out to get me Aunty, you won't let them get me, will you?"
15.) Luna soon walks in, having heard the ranting from just outside the cell-block. Her poker face is on, but inside she's clapping her hooves like a foal at the chance to give the 'prince' some justice.
16.) Luna calls over Celestia, whispering that clearly the stallion had gone quite mad, and that she'd heard of these new Mind medicine (Psychiatrist) ponies that might be able to help him. Moreover, he should at least be examined by those professionals before being released back into the world.
17.) Reluctantly, Celestia agrees, for Blueblood's own safety, and orders him brought to the nearest hospital for evaluation.
18.) Celestia then receives a letter from the Doctor, which she skims briefly before rushing out the door, hurriedly leaving Luna in charge of things.
19.) Luna smirks evil as Blueblood continues ranting to himself, thinking of which professionals the Prince had offended in the past, and how many she could call upon short-notice.

Meanwhile in Canterlot Castle's Jail...

So, Blueblood told Celestia what happened, though he left out the hiring a hitpony part, if he told her that then he would have a real reason to be in that cell.

"And that is why squares are to blame here." Blueblood stated as a dark blue alicorn walked up to the cell.

"So, what is it that you need me for sister?" The princess of the night asked.

"Our nephew here don't seem mentally well. I'm not sure what to do, so I'm asking for your input." Celestia said.

"I heard that!" Blueblood said.

"Sorry nephew, but for you own safety I think you should stay in the cell." Luna said.

"What?!" Blueblood exclaims.

"We'll need time to set you up to get help. Don't worry I know a good psychiatrist named Shock Therapy. He'll help you with your problem."

"I don't have a problem, I've been tapped to a ceiling by an ape, thrown into the street by a doughnut shop owner, assulted by a lesbian cellist, and arrested for being a changeling in front of the castle. Cut me some bucking slack!" Blueblood shouted in pure rage.

"I think he'll need some anger management too." Luna said to her sister, who nodded in agreement.

That's when a grey unicorn guard came up to the Princesses, "Excuse my your highnesses, there's two ponies here to see you about something. One of them claims to be a Doctor."

The two sisters made a quick glance at each other before rushing out, to make sure nothing was wrong.

Name: Princess Luna

Stats

Strenght: 6

Speed: 7

Intelligence: 8

Control Over Night: 10

Number of Episodes She's Been In: 9

Author's Note

Before anyone asks, yes then name of this chapter is a reference to Bimbos in Time.

Fighty Time! Fighty Time!(7)

Snowflame is not sure who this guy is, but he threatened him. Punch him :flutterrage:

Snowflame and Obito have banter
Snowflame: "You're an Oboe? I thought the doom music was techno."
Obito: What? No I'm Obito, Your Doom!
Snowflame: Oh! Hello Mr. YerDoom, You should be careful with those claws, they can hurt somebody
Obito: (Very Confused) What?...I...SHUT UP AND FIGHT (Throws Claw)
Snowflame: OK
They begin fighting, and Snowflame has the upperhand seeing as how he just got a boost from his cocaine bracelet. Obito is a very good fighter though and gets some claw strikes in that hurt, but Snowflame eventually knocks him out by shouting
I AM A MAN!!! and punching his lights out.
Snowflame doesn't kill him though, because it's apparently frowned upon in this establishment, and he feels sorry for the stupid fool trying to attack him.

It's been a while since you've had a good fight. Enjoy and remember
SNOWFLAME FEELS NO PAIN!

1.) >> BrownDog77 Obito and Snowflame get off on the right FIST! Or rather Obito continues to attack him, and Snowflame, powering up slowly on his now replenished powers, asks what the deal is.
2.) Obito responds, "Sorry, just doing my job. You tend to stick out like a soar hoof, and somepony just doesn't like you much."
3.) Snowflame nods, saying he can certainly understand that, and says that he believes it's frowned upon to kill anypony in Equestria.
4.) Obito says he's not exactly aiming to kill a PONY right now, so his own conscience is clean. Snowflame, despite being a villain, says he'd rather not get anypony mad at him, and decides to simply wreck this pony with his own Cocaine powers.

Snowflame dodges another slash from the golden claws and asked, "So Oboe..."

"Obito." The masked pony corrected.

"Why are you attacking Snowflame?"

"Sorry, just doing my job. You tend to stick out like a soar hoof, and somepony just doesn't like you much."

"Huh, I figured killing somepony would be looked down upon."

"Oh it is, but I'm not trying to kill a pony right now am I?"

"True."

FIGHT!

Obito rushes at Snowflame with the claw only for Snowflame to casually step to the side.

Before Obito could react Snowflame punched the side of his head with a flaming white fist.

Obito rolled a few feet, but got up quickly, only to have several small balls of white fire thrown at him.

He was able to avode the fire, but out of nowhere Snowflame ran up and kneed Obito in the jaw. Cracking his mash a little bit, but not breaking it.

Obito slashes him metal claw and actually manages to scrap Snowflame fight across his left arm, Snowflame starts bleeding a bit, but doesn't react.

"Oh masked pony, if you fight Snowflame there is one thing you must know before hand." Snowflame says.

"Oh, and what is that?" Obito asks.

"SNOWFLAME FEELS NO PAIN!" Snowflame shouts, body becoming covered in flames, he grabs Obito by the throat, lifts him up, and repeatedly punches him in the face about 50 times within 3 seconds before slamming him onto the ground. Snowflame then leaps ten feet into the air, landing feet first on Obito's chest.

K.O.

The Pink Pony arrives with shackles, (Why she has them? Snowflame doesn't know) and chains up Mr. YerDoom so he can question him later.

That's when Pinkie Pie came hopping by with some chains and a lock. "Here you go Snowfy. My pinkie sense told me you would need these." she said hoofing them over to the supervillain.

"Thanks Pinkie." Snowflame says. He then puts Obito against a tree, wrapps the chain around him and closes up the chain with the lock.

"So who's this guy?" Pinkie asked.

"Snowflame isn't sure. He did give Snowflame a good right even though it was one sided. Still best fight Snowflame's had here in Equestria."

"What about the ones against Razor or Scorpion? Oh, wait those are both non-canon. Nevermind."

Snowflame not sure what she meant by that, just shrugged, waiting for his attacker to regain consciousness. He had a few questions to ask this Obito.

Name: Pinkamena "Pinkie" Diana Pie

Stats

Strenght: 4

Speed: 7

Intelligence: 3

Happiness: 10

Randomness: Yes

Meanwhile in you know the drill...

The two Princesses ran up to a certain brown earth pony and his grey pegasus companion.

"Doctor, what brings you here?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Is something wrong?" Pricess Luna asked.

"No, well maybe if things go wrong, but anyways, we need to talk to Discord." The Doctor said.

Also Meahwhile in the Jail...

13.) Blueblood, now utterly beyond any form of rational thinking, begins pacing his cell in tight circles, his eyes bulging slightly.
14.) Soon, Doctor Shock Therapy arrives, (Unicorn) his eyes moving to the now locked-up prince, a professional look on his face.
15.) "Well now my good stallion, I've been told you've had some troubles of late, and are in need of some help." "Of course that's what you've been told, and I'm certain the help I need, namely getting out of this disgusting cell and someone to get that Red-Suited Monkey out of my misery would be far too much to ask!"
16.) Shock therapy puts a hoof to his chin, before his horn glows slightly. A solid illusion of Snowflame is now behind Blueblood. "Do you mean that monkey behind you?"
17.) Spinning around, Blueblood sees the cocky monkey right there, smiling at him with that insufferable face! Snarling with rage, he leaps at him, only to fall through the image and knock himself out.
18.) Making a note on a chart, he mutters to himself, "Call me a helpless hack, will you? Laugh at my dissertation and get me barred from practicing in Canterlot huh? Well, joke's on you mister prince, you'll be in for a long date with a padded cell when I'm done." Looking down at the now utterly wretched form, he comments, "Not like I'll need to convince anypony. You've done the hard lifting by yourself. My thanks, old college chum."
19.) Moving outside, he talks to the guards, making preparations for Blueblood's transfer...to Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Mental Resort. 'Renamed after it was found that Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Mental Hospital wasn't "happy" enough for the owner, Happy Hooves. And no, nopony knows what a Bob is in this context, nor why it would be flappy, well above my pay-grade'

Blueblood, trotting in circles, that being the only shape he can trust, ranting to himself. "How dare they leave me here. I'm not crazy. Not at all."

With that a orange-brown unicorn stallion with a thinning grey mane, thick glasses and wearing a dark blue suit came up to the cell. "Hello Prince Blueblood, I am Dr. Shock Therapy. I'm here to look into your psyche to see whats troubling you."

"Oh I don't know maybe it's the fact that MY OWN FAMILY THINKS I'VE GONE NUT YOU TWIT!"

"Now, now. There's no need for yelling, I'm just trying to help. Now I recommend you come with me to Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Mental Resort. I'll set up in some anger management classes with my co-worker Drum Circle, and you'll get the help you need."

"No, this is a mistake! I don't need this! Can you imagine what this would do to my image?!" The Prince shouted.

"It's not a mistake, marrying a mare named Harshwhinny is a mistake, trust me on that one. Besides, your Aunts already set you up, so you don't have a choice."

Blueblood's reaction was what you'd imagine.

We Interrupt This Program...

We Interrupt This Program...

To Bring You This.

Author's Note

Keep all suggestions for what to happen in the previous chapter.

Obito of the Eastern Republic of What (8)

Snowflame and the Pink Pony take him to her room.
Mr. Oboe isn't waking up quick enough. Snowflame should throw coffee in his face to wake him up. Or he could use his bracelet to share his god with his frenemy. The doctor said it was a once day use for him, but not for sharing with others.
When he wakes up, the Pink Pony and Snowflame interrogate him and have a spotlight pointed directly into his face. Surprisingly, Snowflame is the good cop in the good cop/bad cop scenario as Pinkie interrogates him like this

Obito wasn't waking up, so Snowflame and Pinkie unchained him from the tree, took him to Pinkie's room, rechained him to a chair, and pointed a lamp at him, waiting for him to wake up.

Since he was taking to long, Snowflame decided to stop waiting, so he took off Obito's mask, he had a scar down the side of his right cheek, and threw a cup of nice hot coffee in his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Obito screamed, as his face was being burned.

"Where is he?! Where's Scarecrow?!" Snowflame shouted in a gruff voice.

"W-What?" Obito asked.

"Who hired you to kill Snowflame?" He asked dropping the voice.

"What?"

"What country are you from?"

"What? What? Wh - ?"

"What ain't no country Snowflame's ever heard of. They speak English in What?!"

"What?"

"English, motherfucker, do you speak it?!"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Then you know what I'm sayin'!"

"Yes!'

"Describe what the guy who hired you looked like!"

"What?"

Snowflame got up to Obito's face. "Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Cocaine damn time!"

"H-H-He's was wearing a hood."

"Go on!"

"I couldn't see his face."

"Does he look like a bitch?!"

"What?"

Snowflame punchs him in the face with a flaming fist, "Does. He. Look. Like. A. Bitch?"

"I don't know!"

"Then why are you trying to fuck him like a bitch Obito?"

"I didn't!"

"Yes you did! Yes you did Obito! You tried to fuck him. And the guy who hired you don't like to be fucked by anybody except Mrs. the guy who hired you. You read the Bible, Obito?"

"I don't know what that is!"

"Well, there's this passage Snowflame's got memorized, sorta fits the occasion. Ezekiel 25:17? "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

` "Let me try this." Pinkie said. "Where's the bat?"

"What is this about? Who are you?" Obito asked.

"Vere is ze bat?" Pinkie asked again.

"I have no idea what you're taking about."

"Last chance!" She shouts before holding up a knife, "Where is that darn bat?"

"What are you going to do?" Obito asked, sounding scared.

"Whatever I have to, to get some answers." She then places the knife down on a plate with a fork, and she started to scrap them violently, making a horrible sound.

"Stop! Stop that! Stop!"

"You would like me to stop wouldn't yah, hm? Getting to yah? Hmmmm?"

"I won't tell anything."

"Oh a tough guy huh? I know what to do with tough guys." Pinkie knocks over Obito's chair and started touching her own eyeball.

"NNNOOOOOO! My brother used to do that to me! Oh you're sadistic! Stop it! Stop it! I'll talk!"

"Spill it!"

"Some guy wearing a black cloak I met at Canterlot train station hired me. I don't know who he is, or what he has against Snowflame!"

"So you don't know who wants Snowfy dead?"

"No! I'm just an assassin."

"Okay." Pinkie exclaimed bouncing off.

Snowflame walked up and said, "So, Canterlot? Looks like Snowflame's making a trip. Not today though. Snowflame needs to get ready." Snowflame begain to walk out of the room.

"Snowfy wait!" Pinkie exclaimed, "What do you want to do with him."

"Snowflame doesn't care as long as it doesn't involve a certain fanfic." Snowflame looks at the readers and says, "No! None of that! Shame on you!"

Snowflame walks into a room and everything is dead silent, all eyes are upon him as looks into the room with the most serious face he has shown. Everyone now is pondering what brought this on as he turns his back to the group and shouts with the fury of a god" Has anyone seen my butt cheeks? " Bloody things fell off again."

Ten minutes later, Snowflame returned home to see Lyra sitting on the couch, in her regular, human-like manner.

"Hey, Snowflame. How was your day?" The aqua colored mare asked.

"Well Snowflame, met up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, jumped over a park bench, met a zebra, accidentally blew up her hut, landed at the rainbow pony's house, got some rainbow hot sauce, made pizza with the dragon, met the most popular background pony, went back in time to Discord's rule, he gave me a band that puts cocaine right into my body, then when Snowflame came back to this time, somepony attacked Snowflame. Snowflame and the pink pony interrogated him to find out why. Long story short, Snowflame will be heading to Canterlot tomorrow."

Lyra just blinked a few times and said in an unsure tone, "Okaaaaay."

Snowflame walked into his room to pack, but not long after, Lyra heard him shout, "Where are Snowflame's butt checks? They... Oh, Nevermind!"

Name: Lyra Heartstrings

Strenght: 4

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 5

Lyre Playing Talents: 8

Human Obsession: 10

Meanwhile on the ranch in the castle...

At the Palace, the Princesses and the Doctor confront Discord about his drug problem, which he denies and claims that they all have drug problems.

When they find Discord, have him playing lawn darts with swordfishes

The Doctor, Ditzy Do, and the Princesses walked outside to the statue garden that ironically held the draconequus they were looking for.

They fond him throwing a swordfish into a dartboard, getting a bulls eye. He looks at them and asked, "What?"

"Hello Discord, I'm..." The Doctor began to say.

"Yes, yes, I know who you are. The Doctor, the last of the time lords, from the planet of Gallopfrey." Discord said.

"Do you know why I'm here?"

"Nope, not at all." Discord says, throwing another swordfish.

"It's about when we traveled with a human known as Snowflame. You ate a band of cocaine, and it seems to be what drove you mad. So we want to try to remove it."

"No." Discord simple said.

"No? I want to help you."

"Yeah, help me lose my creativity. The day I ate that band is the day I started having true fun. Yes, it did make me lose my country to Tia and Lu-Lu over there, but the deal we have right now is working well for me, so yeah, no."

The Doctor lifts up the sonic screwdriver, pointing it at Discord, who just laughs.

"You really think that'll do anything to me?" Discord asked before snapping his fingers.

The sonic screwdriver seemed to turn off. The Doctor looked at it seeming it wiggle a bit.

"Y-You turned it to rubber!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"Don't ya hate it when your screwdriver goes limp?" Discord said, before laughing again. "I'm bored with you two." He said before snapping his fingers, making them disappear."

"Discord, what did you do?" Celestia asked sternly.

"I just sent them back to Ponyville, and nothing else." Discord his lion paw behind his back, and crossed two fingers.

Back in Ponyville...

Derpy looked around and said, "Well that didn't go as expected. Right Doctor?"

The Doctor looked at her, confused, "I'm not a doctor. I don't even know who you are."

"What?"

"My names Time Turner, what's yours."

"W-What? I.... What?!"

Name: "Time Turner"

Stats

Strenght: 3

Speed: 6

Intelligence: 7

Awesomeness: 2

Time Travel Expience: 0

Meanwhile...

Prince Bloodblue, to his dismay, was taken to Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Mental Resort. He still didn't think he needed to be there, but figured that if he did nothing wrong then they would sure let him out, and then he would get revenge on those Celestia damn squares.

At the insane asylum, Blueblood should run into a pony version of the disco dance guy from Phantasmagoria 2 (44:07)

Though the second he walked in he saw a white earth pony stallion with a unkempt brown mane and tail, a goatee, and what looked like a taco salad for a cutie mark, he was also shouting, "Disco dance! Disco dance! Disco dance!"

'Oh this is going to be fun.' Blueblood thought sarcastically.

And Now A Public Service Announcement From SNOWFLAME!

"Hello, Snowflame here. Snowflame's going to be serious here for a second. Last chapter, our author KenSES64, only had one comment to work with to make this chapter. He even made a blog post about it. So, please leave comments because without them, this story will have a hard time moving forward. Thank you."

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement From SNOWFLAME!

All Aboard the Cameo Train (9)

Back in Ponyville, Derpy tries to convince "Time Turner" that he knows her since they've been traveling together for three years. Time Turner has some recognition way back in the depths of his mind, but he interprets them that he's been dating her for three years and must've hit his head or something and forgotten. Derpy thinks about denying it, but then lies and says that yes they're dating. They then go to lunch, she'll turn him back eventually, but she decides to take advantage of the situation at hoof, when else will she ever have a chance to date him?

"It's me Ditzy, companion for three years now." Ditzy says.

"Companion? Wait are you saying you're my marefriend?" "Time Turner" asks.

"Wh-I-uh" Ditzy says blushing.

"Well, I must of hit my head or something since I don't seem to remember much, I mean I had to, to forget such a lovely mare."

Ditzy's face was pure crimson at this point, 'OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! I know I should try to get him back to the TARDIS, but its back in Canterlot, and when will I get another chance like this. Sorry Doctor, once this is fixed, please don't be mad at me.'

Ditzy snuggles up to "Time Turner" and says, "Yup, I'm your marefriend."

Snowflame get's ready for his trip, which means he just wakes up because he only has one outfit. He grabs a rubber ducky and puts it in his pocket, in case he gets into an unexpected bath situation (It could happen!).

The next morning, Snowflame wakes up and gets ready for his trip to Canterlot, which was just putting a rubber ducky in his pocket, just in case.

He then makes himself a coffee and quickly chugs it down.

1.) Snowflame, after having woken up and consumed his morning coffee, heads to the train station.

Snowflame walks by Lyra and Bon Bon, who were sitting on the couch together and says, "Snowflame's heading to Canterlot now, see you whenever Snowflame gets back."

"Kay" Lyra respondes.

Some time later, on the train...

4.) While on said train, he moves down the car seeing three odd ponies in a single compartment. One has ginger hair, a pale cream coat with freckles. The mare of the group has extremely bushy hair and seems to be talking rapidly about advanced magic. The third pony has black hair, a pale-white coat, and what seems to be an odd bald patch near his horn. As Snowflame passes, he hums this.
5.) After the odd sight, Snowflame finds himself face-to-muzzle with another odd character, this one with a Straw Hat and an impossibly large grin. Snowflame questions why said pony is looking at him, and said pony asks Snowflame if he has any meat. Completely confused, he says no, and the odd pony sighs before continuing down the cart.
6.) Snowflame questions why all these cameos are happening, before he hears in the distance, "Believe it". Snowflame then recalls where he is, realizing that such a question is silly.

Snowflame, bored already, starts to look around the train where he sees an odd group of unicorns, two stallions one mare. The first stallion was cream white, ginger maned, and had freckles. The mare had extreamly bushy redish hair, talking about advanced magic in a way that even the purple alicorn would find it annoying. The other stallion was white with a brown mane, round glasses, and what looked like a lightning bolt for a cutie mark.

Snowflame couldn't help, but hum a certain movie theme. "Hmm Hmm. Hm Hm Hm Hm. Hm Hm. Hm. Hm Hm. Hm Hm Hm. Hm Hm."

Snowflame then turns away to see across from him was another odd character. This one was a tanish earth pony stallion with a black mane, a jolly roger for a cutie mark, and wearing a straw hat and red vest.

He gave a big toothy grin to Snowflame and said, "Wow, you look weird. Haven't seen anything like you before."

"Snowflame gets that alot." Snowflame says.

"Do you have any meat on you?" The straw hat pony asked.

"No. Wait, Snowflame thought ponies don't eat meat."

"Well they should. It's delicious!"

Snowflame was about to say something, but was interrupted by somepony shouting, "Believe it!"

With that Snowflame was done.

The train going to Canterlot is going too slow so he jumps off it while it's moving and runs way faster than it, making the train conductor's jaw drop.

Snowflame stood up and began walking to the train door.

"Hey mister, were you going?" The straw hat pony asked.

"Well staying on this train would be boring, and the cameos are starting to get old, yet Snowflame doubts they will stop, so..." Snowflame opens the train door, "Bye." He then jumps out.

Snowflame lands besides the train tracks and starts running by the train, though not soon after Snowflame noticed the front car of the Friendship Express getting closer to him, using as much power from his cocaine band as he can he sprites as hard as he can, passing the train, in the corner of his eye he see it makes the conductor's jaw drop. Snowflame just kept on running.

15 Minutes Later...

Snowflame arrived at Canterlot Train Station, beating the Friendship Express by two minutes, and now he was in Canterlot, ready to find who wanted him dead.

When you get to Canterlot, seek out Discord and Celestia. Why? I don't know, but they may be instrumental in your plan. You do have a plan right?

'Of course Snowflame has a plan.' Snowflame thinks to himself, 'Find who hired Obito, and kick his ass. Though finding Celestia and Discord may help Snowflame in some way.'

Snowflame then began walking to Canterlot Castle.

Back at the Bakery, Pinkie continues her Inquisition by asking Obito a million questions like what his favorite color is, why he's an assassin (and how she thinks that's wrong) and why he doesn't do something that makes ponies happy instead of dead. She get's it in her mind to reform him and make him a hot dog vendor. Obito will eventually develop Stockholm Syndrome by being her hostage after the questions, baked goods and songs break his mind.

Back in Ponyville...

Obito slowly wakes up to see that he was still chained to the chair, in that pink mare's bedroom.

"Hi!" The pink mare says when she see him awake. "How'd you sleep? Was it hard to do because you were in a chair? Are you hungry? Do you want a cupcake? If so what kind? I can make the frosting you favorite color, but first what is you favorite color? Also, why are you an assassin? That doesn't seem like it'd be a good job. Do you get health benefits? Paid vacations? Can you be a rude to customers as you want? Though why would you want to? Oh, and how did you get that scar?"

Obito took a few seconds to thinl of answers for these questions, " I sleeped okay, no, yes, sure, chocolate, red. As for why I'm an assassin... I was kinda forced into it thanks to my Celestia forsaken cutie mark, as for the scar... I don't want to talk about it."

"What do you mean you were force into being an assassin?" Pinkie asked.

"Remember when I said my brother used to do that eyeball thing to me?"

"Yeah?"

"Like I said, he USED to..." Obito went silent as a tear rolled down his face, "I-I didn't mean to... I didn't realized that I grabbed that knife. Then they took me away, trained me, made me what I am." Obito sat there, starting to cry a little.

Pinkie saw this and gave Obito a hug.

Obito was surprised, but didn't fight it. Not like he could with these chains anyways.

"It's okay." Pinkie said, "I can help you start a new life here. Ooo, maybe I can make you a hay dog vendor! Ponyville doesn't have one of those. Or I can see if you can get a job here at Sugarcube Corner. I think I heard Mr. Cake say that they wanted a buscolt."

Obito for some reason, couldn't help, but smile. "I'd like that."

Meanwhile at Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Mental Resort...

"How could have this have happened to me? ME!? I'm a prince, for Celestia's sake!"
"Some prince you are." Blueblood hears a voice, but there is nopony there.
"Who goes there!?"
Ghost Infernape appears. "Hi."
(I'm hoping to include the ghost nappa joke.)

In the Asylum, Blueblood should run into a Ghost Nappa Like spirit, but it should be Ghost Sombra from RazortheAwesome's story.
Blueblood: Who or what are you?
Ghost Sombra: An awesome cameo crazy boy.

Blueblood was standing in the middle of the room he was given, talking to himself. "How could have this have happened to me? ME!? I'm a prince, for Celestia's sake!"

"Some prince you are." a disembodied voice said.

"Who goes there?!" Blueblood shouts.

Out of nowhere what looked like King Sombra's head on a white tail appeared. "Hi."

"Who and what are you?" Blueblood asked.

"An awesome cameo crazy boy."

"I'm not crazy."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"ENOUGH!" Blueblood shouts, "Why are you here?"

"To make a cameo, and because KenSES64 is trying to bank on RazortheAwesome's success. Though I can't stay for long, Ken doesn't want to ripoff his friend too much. Though I do have an idea for a ghost to annoy you, because that's always fun, and to get one certain character that, mostly one guy, that's been asking for to show up."

Blueblood wasn't sure what this ghost was talking about, but he knew it couldn't be good.

Name: Ghost Sombra

Stats

Strenght: ???

Speed: ???

Intelligence: ???

Annoyingness: 10

Crystal Fetish: 10

Author's Note

If you didn't catch that, Ghost Sombra was talking about Blueblood being badgered by Ghost Deadpool. Though I'll put it up to you guys before adding him.

"Heeeeeeeeey Keeeeeeeeen."

Oh hi Ghost Sombra.

"You as popular as Razor yet?"

I'm not doing this to get as popular as Razor.

"Sure your not. We all know you want to get to the feature box. You don't even care with what story, you just want to make it there."

Okay, one yes I do want to get to the feature box, who doesn't, but if I do want it to be a story I'm proud of. If I didn't care I would of sold out and written a clopfic by now, seeing how it seem half of the stories in the feature box are those most of the time, and I'm not even into that stuff.

"Whatever, you still aren't as popular as Razor."

Once again, so? He's a creative writing major, I'm not. Hell, my dream job is voice acting, not writing.

"And you haven't done any jobs as a voice actor."

True,mostly since I'm not sure how good my laptop's microphone is, so I may have to buy one, though I have no money.

"Keep making excuses."

Shut up Ghost Sombra!

I Don't Have A Name For This Chapter (10)

Ghost Sombra:
YOU ARE BOUND TO THE INSANE TWILIGHT SPARKLE IN MY UNIVERSE!!!! GET BACK IN HER HEAD YOU ABOMINABLE THING!!!!!!!
"I'm sorry...." *insert Fluttercry like Sombra pic here.*
It's okay. I know Ken just wanted to make a clever cameo. It's not your fault. :twilightsmile:

Ghost Sombra looks at the comments, "Huh no votes at all for or against Ghost Deadpool. I figured that Awesomedude17 would of been all for that. Oh well, sorry Wade. Well, I'm going back to my story. Bie crazy boy!"

Ghost Sombra fades away leaving a confused Prince Blueblood.

"Wuh?" is all Blueblood said when his room door was opened by a green earth pony stallion with a long grey mane tied back into a ponytail, pink eyes, and what looked like a pair of bongos for a cutie mark.

"Hello Mr. Blueblood. I am your anger management counselor Drum Circle. It's time for your first class." the stallion said.

Blueblood noticed that "Circle" was in this stallion's name, so Blueblood felt that he could trust him.

In the Happy Home, Blueblood meets his new friend. His mental barriers begin breaking down, and he begins singing It's a Small World After All over and over again. The doctors feel he is improving with such a happy song.

At the anger management class Blueblood forced to sit next to the "Disco Dance" pony from the other day, and he was singing.

"It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world."

"Oh what a happy song." Drum Circle said, "Lets all sing along!"

Blueblood's eyes widened, 'Oh Celestia no!'

"It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Blueblood shouts.

Back in Ponyville...

At some fancy Restaurant, "Time Turner" and Ditzy are on a date and Rarity sees them and is baffled. She wonders how Derpy can have a boyfriend and not her. She decides to pout and drink wine and complain about it to Spike who is frustrated by the conversation.

Derpy was sitting across from "Time Turner" at her favorite restaurant. She know that this was wrong and that she should be heading back to Canterlot, and back to the TARDIS, but right now she was going to enjoy a nice dinner with her "coltfriend".

"Hmmm... I'm not sure what to have. For some reason I'm in the mood for something with butter." "Time Turner" said.

Derpy signed, 'I guess some things don't change.'

At the same time Rarity was walking by the restaurant with Spike (who was pulling a wagon full of gems) and she noticed the two.

"What?" She said aloud, "How is it that Ditzy Do of all ponies has a coltfriend, when I don't? It just seem weird, right Spike?"

Spike didn't respond, but gave her a slight glare.

Rarity noticed this, "Well, good for her. Lets get back to the boutique." she then laughed nervously, trying not to upset the baby dragon.

"Okay." Spike said, in his usual happy tone.

In Canterlot...

Snowflame must grab a doughnut from Doughnut Joe's before speaking with the Princess's and Discord. He see's newspaper detailing Prince Blueblood's incarceration in the nuthouse. He laughs at that and continues on to the palace.

Snowflame while on his way to the castle, stops by a doughnut shop, just to get something to eat, running made him hungry.

Snowflame stepped inside to see a pony with a doughnut cutie mark behind the counter, who gave Snowflame a quick look.

"Snowflame would like a pink frosted doughnut with sprinkles." Snowflame said.

"Ah, a classic." Doughnut Joe said, "Thall be 2 bits."

Snowflame places the bits on the counter, and waited for his doughnut.

He noticed a pony reading a newspaper and read the headline.

Prince Blueblood Committed To Mental Institution

Snowflame laughed to himself at this, as he got his doughnut, and walked out, eating it on the way to the castle.

Meanwhile in Sugarcube Corner...

In the Bakery, Pinkie Pie trains Obito to be a better pony, and vendor of any food product, in the only way she knows how, a musical montage.

"Okay, if you're going to be the new buscolt, you'll need some training." Pinkie said.

"Isn't it just getting plates and washing dishes?" Obito asked.

"Oh, it is way more than that."

"How?"

"Let me explain in the best way I know how." Pinkie takes a deep breath, "When..."

One Song Later...

"Wow I never thought of it like that." Obito said in amazement.

"Glad I can help."

Obito smiled and said, "Well shall we continue the training?"

"Sure, and I bet once we're done Mr. and Mrs. Cake are sure to hire you."

"I don't have the job yet?"

"No, I can't hire ponies, but I sure they won't mind me training you. Besides they'll be back by tomorrow. You can show them what I though you then. Now do you mind cleaning the tables while I check up on their twins?"

"Sure thing Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie:
See what you can do about all these different plotlines and side stories coming up with you and all the other characters. Give it time and this story may become even more convoluted than mine.

'Silly Razor, I'm not sure if I can do anything about them, but I'm sure they will come together sooner or later. Its up to you guys anyways.' Pinkie thinks to herself making her way to Pound and Pumpkin's bedroom.

Snowflame Goes to Canterlot Castle(11)

Snowflame must find out who hired Obito to kill him. He starts asking random ponies on the street if they hired someone to kill him. After awhile of doing this, he goes to see the Princesses, maybe they know who did it, or maybe they were the ones who put out the hit. It doesn't matter, to the Castle!

1.) Snowflame, making it to the Castle in Canterlot, asks to have a meeting with the princess.
2.) When told she is in an important meeting, Snowflame asks when the next available time to meet her will be.

So Snowflame makes his way to the castle, he does ask random ponies he passes if they put the hit on him, but the answers he got were, "No.", "What are you talking about?" and a few "Who the hey are you?!", so no progress whatsoever.

Snowflame reaches the castle gate and sees two identical looking grey unicorn guards. Snowflame goes to them and says, "Excuse me, Snowflame wants to see Princess Celestia, is she busy?"

They look at the human and one of them says, "She's in a meeting right now."

"How long will that take?"

"Not sure. Come back after lunchtime."

Snowflame sighs and says "Fine." before walking off.

3.) After being told it would be after lunch time, Snowflame goes to kill some time. He eventually runs into our favorite Wub-slinging Mare, Vinyl Scratch! After proper introductions, said mare wonders if he would be interested in seeing her next gig. Said gig would be later than when he would meet the Princess, but agrees thinking the meeting won't take long.

Snowflame walks around Canterlot, just trying to kill time. While trying to find something to pass the time he sees a white unicorn mare with a dark and light blue mane, and a music note cutie mark.

Snowflame knew who she was and walked up to her. "Hello Miss Scratch."

Vinyl looks at Snowflame and took off her purple sunglasses to get a better look at him, "Um... Hi?"

"My name's Snowflame, I'm a fan of your."

Vinyl smiled and said, "It's always good to meet a fan, even if they are... um... what are you even?"

"Snowflame is a human."

Vinyl looks surprised and said, "Really? I though humans were a myth."

"In this world, yes. Snowflame's from another universe, was brought here to Equestria twice by a spell."

"Really? Huh."

"Yeah, Snowflame's been living in Equestria since then. Snowflame misses meat, but Snowflame can live without it."

"Well this has been a nice chat, but I need to get ready for my next gig, you wanna come?"

"What time is it at?"

"1:00 at Neon Light's."

"Snowflame has to talk to Princess Celestia around that time ,but Snowflame will try to be there."

"Okay sounds good man." Vinyl said before trotting off.

Some time later...

Snowflame went back to the castle and sees the same two guards from before.

"Can Snowflame see the princess now?" He asked them.

They nodded and let him inside, one of then showed him the way to the throne room, were Celestia was sitting.

The sun goddess see him and smiles warmly, "Oh, hello Snowflame. What brings you here?"

What does Snowflame say?

In Ponyville...

At the dinner date, "Time Turner" feels compelled to Not Blink after seeing a grey crying pegasus statue, but he doesn't know why.

8.) At the resturant, Derpy and Time Turner are trying to jog his memory. While eating some Mashed Potatoes with extra butter, the male of the duo asks how long they have been going out. When about to answer, Dinky comes bursting in, asking about a school function she wants permission to attend. Time Turner, seeing the foal, looks to his 'Marefriend', asking if she really is a mother.
9.) Confirming it with a heart-warming hug for Dinky, time Turner then asks if he is her father. Before Derpy could deny it, Dinky says she always thought of him as her papa, even if he's kinda weird. Turner, hearing this, hugs the foal and declares he'll be the best father for her a stallion could be. Derpy, enamored yet worried, wonders just how things will go should the Doctor regain his memories.

"Time Turner" while eating some mashed potatoes with extra butter, couldn't help but stare at a nearby statue of what looked like a crying pegasus. He didn't know why, but something was telling him not to blink. He then decides to stop because it's a statue, what's it going to do?

"So, Ditzy how long have we been..." He began to say before being interrupted by a greyish-purple unicorn filly with a blond mane and yellow eyes.

"Hey Mom." The filly said to Ditzy, "I have a field trip thingy you need to sigh." she then put a sheet of paper on the table.

"Well, I don't have anything to write with right now, I'll sigh it later, okay Dinky?" Ditzy said.

"Time Turner" looked at this surprised, "You're a mother?"

"Yup, this little cutie is my pride and joy." Ditzy said, hugging Dinky.

"Am I her father?" He asked to Ditzy's surprise, who was about to tell him 'no' when Dinky spoke before her.

"Well, you not my real dad, but I've always seen you as my dad, even if you are a little weird."

"Time Turner" reached over and grabbed the filly, hugging her, "Well, then I promise to be the best father I can be."

"Really?" Dinky asked.

"Time Turner" nodded.

Ditzy was now having a slight freak out in her head, 'Oh, I know I need to help The Doctor get his memories back, but at the same time this is what I've wanted for a long time.'

"Wait." Dinky says, "If you're going to be my dad, would that mean you'd have to marry my mom?"

Ditzy's eye straightened and srunk, "M-M-M-Marry?", she muttered before fainting.

Name: Dinky Doo

Stats

Strenght: 3

Speed: 4

Intelligence: 5

Cuteness: 8

Lovableness: 7

At the Funny Farm, they stop singing it's a small world, and move onto Row Row Row Your Boat. They also bring out board games like Monopoly and Connect Four, which makes Blueblood Flip out because of their Square nature.

At the mental resort, Prince Blueblood was rubbing his temples, trying to get that song out of his head.

"Okay." Drum Circle said to get everypony's attention, "How about be play a game. Who wants to play Monopoly?"

"What?!" Blueblood shouts, "But the board is square! The squares can't be trusted."

"Squares Smares" The Disco Dance Pony says, "It's hexagons you have to watch out for."

"Why is that?" Blueblood asked.

"Because hexagons."

"Okaaay, I guess I'll play, but I still don't trust the square board. I call the dog."

"I'm always the dog!"

"Fine, I'll be the cart."

"I'm always the cart!"

"Okay fine, I'll be the screaming moron."

"I'm always the screaming moron!"

Blueblood smirked, 'That was too easy.'

Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner...

At Sugar Cube Corner, Obito has to deal with a demanding Diamond Tiara. He also sees Iron Will and Trixie sharing a milkshake in the corner (Throwback to your old story :pinkiehappy:)

Obito was still training when a pink filly with a purple and white mane, wearing a tiara, with a tiara for a cutie mark walked in.

"I want a strawberry milkshake and make it snappy." The filly demanded.

"One moment please." Obito said, still cleaning a table.

"What was that? You want me to wait? Do you know who you're talking to?"

"A brat that needs a good smack?" Obito mumbled to himself.

"What was that?!" The filly yelled.

"Nothing." Obito said, forcing a smile

"I'm sure it was." The filly said, when Pinkie came out of nowhere with a pink milkshake.

"Here you go Diamond Tiara." Pinkie said.

"It's about time." the filly said, giving Pinkie two bits, "This stallion was rude to me, not getting it right away."

"I'm sorry, I was being rude?" Obito asked, getting a little mad at the filly.

"Don't blame him, he's still a trainee." Pinkie said.

The filly rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever." Before walking out with her drink.

Pinkie then hooved over a chocolate milkshake with two straws to Obito, "Order at table three." she said pointing at said table where a blue unicorn mane with a silver mane and a blue minotuar with a black mohawk were sitting together.

Pinkie looked at the milkshake and then to the table, putting two and two and two together, and her mouth dropped.

She grabbed to milkshake from Obito and rushed over to the table.

"Trixie?!" Pinkie exclaimed. "What are you doing back in Ponyville and with Iron Will?"

The blue mare looked at Pinkie and asked, "Does Trixie know you?"

"Well one time you were here you kinda deleted my mouth."

"Oh, it you. Sorry about that, The Great and Powerful Trixie wasn't in the right mind."

"It's okay."

"And to answer your question, well Iron and I are here because we needed a place to settle down." Trixie moved her mane a bit to show a golden ring around her horn.

"Wait, you two are getting married?" Pinkie asked in surprise. "How'd you even meet?"

"Well we met here in Ponyville, we had a scheduling problem, after Iron here was knocked out by some ape creature and I ran away in fear, we met up again if Hoofington about a week later. We talked a bit, one thing lead to another, and he asked me out."

"And then after awhile of us dating Iron Will asked this beautiful mare to be his wife." Iron Will added.

Trixie blushed and cuddled up to the minotuar.

"Well I wish you two the best of luck." Pinkie said, before hopping off.

And now, a moment with Lyra and Bon Bon
(use this as you will)

And Now A Random Moment With Lyra and Bon Bon

"Hey Bon Bon." Lyra said.

"Yes."

"I feel like singing."

"Umm... Okay."

Some music starts(Light Blue=Lyra, Pink=Bon Bon

You know a lot of ponies come up us and say, "Hey Lyra and Bon Bon, you two are mares and you live together. Are you gay?" I have to laugh.

Why? We are.

A newborn deer runs through a field
A rainbow shines from heaven
A child's smile lights up the room
As Bon Bon eats out a chick

A star shoots in from outer space
A puppy licks its mother
A ray of sunshine through the trees
As Bon Bon licks a clam

There would be no sadness
If we were super gay
Just unicorns and magic
If we were super gay

We would all be flying
On a tasteful pink duvet
But mostly Bon Bon
Mostly Bon Bon's gay

Here's a list of things that Bon Bon likes to lick

Vag, vag, vag, vag, vag ,vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, TEATS!

Vag, vag, vag, vag, vag ,vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, Teats! One! Two! Teats!

Your vag, my vag, your vag, my vag, your vag, my vag, your vag, my vag.
Your vag,your vag, your vag, your vag, teats!

My teats and vag! Vag, vag, vag, vag ,vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag, vag.

Lyra stops singing once she notices Bon Bon glaring daggers at her.

"I'm sleeping on the sofa aren't I?" Lyra asked.

"Yup." Bon Bon responds.

This Has Been A Random Moment With Lyra and Bon Bon

Author's Note

Yes, Trixie/Iron Will. Crack Shipping FTW.

In Case of Muffin Emergency Break Glass(12)

Snowflame: Oh hai Princess, Snowflame was wondering if you hired an assassin to kill him?
Celestia: (Shocked) What?
Snowflame: If not, then do you know who did?
Celestia: Someone tried to have you killed?
Snowflame: Yes, it was pretty fun, the Assassin had shiny claws and a mask.
Celestia: Where is he now?
Snowflame: It's ok, I left him with the Pink Pony, so you know everything will turn out alright
Celestia: OK...(Not Real Sure)
Snowflame: Anyway, Snowflame needs to find the one who hired the hit pony so that Snowflame can introduce him to a world of hurt.
Celestia: Well, um...Maybe Discord can help you with that.
Snowflame: Cool Beans.

"Afternoon Princess. If you don't mind Snowflame asking, but did you send an assassin to kill Snowflame?"

"Of course not. Wait, somepony tried to have you killed?" The Princess asked, concern in the voice.

"Yes, the assassin had these shiny, metal claws and a mask, it was a fun fight."

"Where is this assassin now?"

"Snowflame left him with the pink pony. Surely that can't go wrong in any way."

"Ummm............Okaaaaaay." Celestia said, unsure.

"Anyway, Snowflame needs to find the one who hired the hit pony so that Snowflame can introduce him to a world of hurt. Can you help Snowflame in any way?"

"Well if you find this pony, I promise that they'll be brought to justice."

"Thank you Princess."

"Though maybe you should talk to Discord. He might be able to help."

"Okay, Snowflame will talk to the awesome Star Trek guy." Snowflame said, while walking out of the throne room.

Now, where does Snowflame go to try to find Discord?

Meanwhile in Sugarcube Corner...

Meanwhile Pinkie Senses that somepony needs a pick me up muffin, so she has Obito stand ready with a muffin with such a glorious scent that it could probably awaken the dead. Pinkie Pie says "Be Right Back" and rushes out the door to go help whoever fainted.
Time Turner tries to get the fainted Derpy to awaken, but it's no good. When Suddenly Pinkie Pie appears, picks her up and tells him and Dinky to follow her. They rush back to Sugar Cube Corner where Obito uses the muffin to revive Derpy.
She still feels lightheaded, and Pinkie Pie asks what made her faint, and Dinky tells her.
Figuring that after 3 years of "dating" her, Time Turner decides to propose thinking it's a good idea.
She knows this is gonna blow up in her face eventually, but what the hell, she accepts the proposal. If it's official he can't leave her behind like the other companions when he gets his memory back.
Iron Will and Trixie approve of this and Pinkie Pie tells Obito that they have to start planning the wedding party immediately.
(Two Plot Threads are Now 1 :pinkiehappy:)

Pinkies eyebrows started to twitch and she soon after sneeze (where to Obito's surprise, confetti came out of her nose.)

"*Gasp* Twitchy Eyebrow Sneeze?! Somepony needs a muffin ASAP!" Pinkie shouts before she pulls a banana walnut muffin out of thin air and hooves it over to Obito. "Hold this for now. I'll be right back."

She dashes out of the bakery, looking around town for who need the emergency muffin, though she had an idea of who it was.

About 30 seconds later here suspicions were confirmed when she got to a grey pegasus passed out on the ground with a worried looking brown earth pony stallion and greyish-purple unicorn filly.

"What happened?" Pinkie asked.

"She just fainted." "Time Turner" said.

Pinkie picks up Derpy and puts her on her back, "Follow me."

She then rushes off. Dinky and "Time Turner" not far behind.

Not long after they got back to Sugarcube Corner.

"Obito! Muffin! Now!" Pinkie commands the former assassin, how gives it to her with his magic. Pinkie puts Derpy down and holds the muffin up to Derpy's face.

Derpy's eyes slowly open as she smells the muffin, and seemingly on instinct, immediately started eating the muffin.

"Time Turner" sighed in relief.

Pinkie walks up to Dinky and asks, "What made her faint?"

"Well, Mr. Doctor said he'd try to be the best dad he could be for me, and I said that then he and my mom should get married then."

"Time Turner" heard this and looks at Derpy, and smiles. "Well, maybe it's not a bad idea."

Derpy takes her focus off her muffin and says "Wait, what?"

"Sure my memory my be a bit fuzzy, but you told me that we've been together for three years so it seems like it'd be about time that we get married."

Derpy almost fainted again, but was able to keep herself standing, 'This is bad, if a say yes this'll blow up in my face sooner or later, but if I say no he'll wonder why. Well maybe if we marry and he gets his memory back he'll not be so mad. I mean I'll be his wife, maybe he won't leave me, like my good for nothing ex-fiance did.'

Derpy hugged "Time Turner" and says "Yes."

"Dawwww." Pinkie exclaims, "Oh, you'll need somepony to plan your wedding. I'll do it!"

"Well, we'll need some time to get ready, I mean how long does preparing for a wedding take?" "Time Turner" asked.

"Depends, it can be a couple of months to a little over a year." the nearby Iron Will said, "Trixie and I here haven't picked a date yet ourselves.

"Trixie is thinking a summer wedding." the blue mare besides him said.

"Well, however long it takes, we'll be sure to hire you Miss... I sorry I don't know your name."

"Oh, I'm Pinkie Pie. Happy to meet you Mr. Doctor." The pink mare says.

"Actually, it's Time Turner."

Name: "The Great and Powerful" Trixie Lulamoon

Stats

Strenght: 4

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 5

Magic Ability: 7

Cockyness: 8

At the Nut House...

In the nice home with the clean white coats, Prince Blueblood meets Screw Loose who is barking like a dog (Apparently she's had a relapse after seeing Spike and all the animals from the Just for Sidekicks episode.) She proceeds to immediately hug him and not let go.
Blueblood's scowl deepens even more while Taco Salad begins picking Cheerios out of her hair and eating them.

"Ha! You landed on my hotel, and you have nothing to mortgage. I win!" the disco dance pony says to Blueblood.

The Prince rolls his eyes and says, "What do I care? If this was with my real bits, I could of bought everything right away."

"Sure you could." the disco dance pony says sarcastically.

Blueblood stood up and began to walk away, but was blocked by a blue earth pony mare with a grey mane and a screw for a cutie mark.

"Miss, your in my way." Blueblood says.

The mare responded by barking.

Blueblood facehooved, 'Great, I can tell this won't get anywhere.'

They next thing he knew the mare had him trapped in a vice grip of a hug, and it didn't seem like she was going to let go anything soon.

'It's offical. I'm in tartarus.'

And Now A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Snowflame stands in the middle of somepony's living room and begines to talk "Here's some advise. If you ever go to Burger King, get some extra zesty sauces and put them in the fridge, so they'll get cold. Then buy some of those honey mustard pritzels. Then while you're eating the pritzels, dip them into the zesty sauce. It is amazing. AMAZING!"

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Some More Stuff Happens(13)

Snowflame:
You do not find Discord. Just wander around and cause chaos. He will find you.

Well it's nearly lunch time, Snowflame checks the kitchen first, might as well grab a sandwich while looking. He sees a pony version of Chef Ramsey yelling at his employees, then he starts yelling at Snowflame.
Snowflame calls him a Fucking Donkey, and Ramsey says that that's his line.
Snowflame says he's had enough, and that Ramsey has been chopped and tells him to get out, which Ramsey responds to saying "Wrong Show You Git!"
Snowflame shoves a pie in his face, tells him he's not an Iron Chef then leaves.

Snowflame decides to head to the kitchen to grab something to eat, and who know, Discord could be there.

Upon entering the kitchen Snowflame saw a red earth pony stallion with a orange mane, a knife being sharpened for a cutie mark, and wearing a white apron.

"These rolls are so raw, I poked one and it giggled!" The stallion shouted at another chef there. He then noticed Snowflame and said, "Who in tartarus let an ape in here?!"

"Snowflame is a human, you fucking donkey!" Snowflame shouted.

"That's my line!"

"You've been chopped, get out!"

"Wrong show you git!"

"You're not an iron chef." Snowflame shouts before he grabs a nearby pie and just walks out with it.

One Pie Later...

He then comes across a room guarded by batponies, it's probably Luna's room. A keep quiet sign is posted on it, meaning she's asleep. Snowflame runs past the gaurds shouting at the top of his lungs "I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire, I'm vampire, I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire!" as a prank.
Luna sticks her head out of the door and she and the guards are like, "WTF?"

Snowflame threw his now empty pie tin out a nearby window and notices two guards dressed in midnight blue armor, with grey coats, yellow eyes and bat-like wings, standing in front of a door with a silver crescent moon on it.

Snowflame smiles and starts running down the hallway, when he got near the door he started to shout, "Snowflame's a vampire! Snowflame's a vampire! Snowflame's a vampire! Snowflame's a vampire! Snowflame's a vampire! Snowflame's a vampire!"

He kept on running as Princess Luna pokes her head out, she and the guards look at each other, unsure of what to make of what just happened.

He then checks for Discord in the most unlikely of spots, his room. Inside his room is a mind trip like a combo of Alice in Wonderland, an MC Escher painting, and the Hell Tunnel from Willy Wonka. Discord is sitting on a marshmallow throne.
Snowflame: Hi Q
Discord: Oh Hai Snowflame, What's new with you?

Discord:
Be Discord.

Snowflame then reaches another door that opens by itself to reveal what looked like a bunch of stairs going in every direction, an oversized chair in the middle of the room, and a chocolate river flowing up one of the walls.

"Oh my celestia! Look at all those stairs!" Ghost Sombra shouts.

Snowflame looks at the ghostly tyrant in confusion.

Ghost Sombra signs and says, "Fine, I'll leave, but this story most likely hasn't seen the last of me!", before fading away.

Snowflame enters the room where the door closes behind him.

Atop the giant chair there's a flash of light, and a certain Draconequus appeared.

"Ah, Snowflame. Long time no see."

What happens now?

Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner...

At Sugar Cube Corner, Derpy is still full of excitement, and way back in her mind a bit of guilt, but Trixie and Pinkie talk to her to both calm her down and talk about the wedding where Obito has to jot down notes on a to do list and get Dinky a milkshake. Meanwhile Iron Will and "Time Turner" have a stilted conversation since he doesn't remember good portions of the last three years.

Pinkie Pie:
Being an expert party planner, already have pre set plans in your head for all the weddings going on.
Obito:
Just do whatever Pinkie says. Don't ask questions (it will only make your head hurt) just do it.

Ditzy stood in the bakery with Pinkie, Trixie, Dinky and some unicorn named Obito, who got a milkshake for Dinky.

"I can easily think of wedding plans for both of you. Even if you want to wait, we can still think of them first." Pinkie said.

"Well Trixie wants an ice sculpture of herself defeating the ursa major with a crying Twilight Sparkle looking at Trixie's amazingness." Trixie said.

"Ummm... That sounds like something you'll need to talk about with your fiance first." Ditzy said.

Trixie huffed and said, "Fine."

"Well, you got any ideas for yours Derpy?" Pinkie asked.

"I don't know." Ditzy said, more trapped in thought, she was happy that she was engaged to The Doctor, yet also feeling guilty about the fact that it only happened because she lied to him about who they were.

"Well we can all think of things. Obito write everything we say down." Pinkie commanded the stallion.

"Uhh... Okay."

Meanwhile in Town...

"Time Turner" and Iron Will walked together and talked.

"So you really have amnesia?" Iron Will asked.

"Yeah, I can't really remember almost ... well almost anything really."

"And yet you still proposed to that mare?"

"She told me that we're been together for three years, and whatever small bits that I can remember do involve her, so I do believe her. Ummm... Sorry to change the subject, but were are we going?"

"We're heading to Iron Will and Trixie's new house. Iron Will was luck, he found it for cheap."

"Oh, where is it?"

"Next to the library."

At the Funny Farm...

At the Cuckoo's Nest, Blueblood is fed his lunch, while Screwloose is still holding on to him and Disco Dance jabbering in his ear. The food is actually a mush of canned veggies that are probably older than him. The drinks? Lukewarm Tapwater.
Blueblood: "Seriously, I try to have one hairless ape killed, and the universe and Sqaures conspire against me. Oh woe is me.
Disco Dance: Where's my latex?
Screwloose: Bark
Blueblood: Sigh

At lunch Blueblood was given a trey of mushed vegatable, Blueblood turned his head and says, "Do any of you really expect me to eat this trash? I'm a prince for Celestia's sake. I demand cloudcake!" Blueblood shouted, only for the staff to pay no attention to him. "Seriously, I try to have one hairless ape killed, and the universe and Squares conspire against me. Oh woe is me."

"Where's my latex?!" The "Disco Dance" pony shouts.

The blue mare barked again.

Blueblood sighed.

Behold the Power of The Warrior(14)

Somewhere in a black hole where time is meaningless, The Ultimate Warrior stands in front of a black gate.
Ultimate Warrior: Groosfabba, Groosfabba. I CALL UPON THE POWER OF THE GODS!!!
Mysterious Evil Voice: Welcome Warrior, we have been expecting you.
Ultimate Warrior: Like Scissors in my brain, your voices called, will you help me defeat Hoke Hogan?
Mysterious Evil Voice: In due time child, in due time, but first you must prove yourself worthy.
Ultimate Warrior: How shall the Ultimate Warrior prove himself, shall I swim the mighty seas of Destrucity, shall I force the light of the sun into the monsters of the soul?
Mysterious Evil Voice: No, you must defeat a rival equal and similar to you in many ways. Once you have defeated this inverse representation of yourself, then you will be able to conquer Hulk Hogan.
Ultimate Warrior: Tell me where this rolling stone lays his head that he calls home, and it shall be done!
Mysterious Evil Voice: You will find him, in the land of Equestria!
So he loads his spaceship with the rocket fuel and flies to Equestria in search of this foe. The evil voice laughs menacingly and says "Fool."

Somewhere in a black hole where time is meaningless...

A musclebound man wearing blue wrestling trunk, arm and wrist band, wrestling boots and blue, white and black face paint, know as The Ultimate Warrior stands in front of a black gate.

"Groosfabba, Groosfabba. I CALL UPON THE POWER OF THE GODS!!!" He shouts at the gate.

"Welcome Warrior, we have been expecting you." A mysterious voice says.

"Like Scissors in my brain, your voices called, will you help me defeat Hoke Hogan?"

"In due time child, in due time, but first you must prove yourself worthy."

"How shall the Ultimate Warrior prove himself, shall I swim the mighty seas of Destrucity, shall I force the light of the sun into the monsters of the soul?"

"No, you must defeat a rival equal and similar to you in many ways. Once you have defeated this inverse representation of yourself, then you will be able to conquer Hulk Hogan."

"Tell me where this rolling stone lays his head that he calls home, and it shall be done!"

"You will find him, in the land of Equestria!" some lightning strikes revealing a rocket ship. "Step aboard this ship and it shall take you to Equestria."

"Prepare yourself unknown rival, for The Warrior is going to get foked and use that fokness to take you down, and you will feel the power of Destrucity come down upon your face! *SKRONK*" The Ultimate Warrior got into the ship and it soon took off.

The voice laughed and said, "Fool."

Meanwhile in Ponyville...

Time Turner and Iron Will reach their destination, when Twilight Sparkle notices the two. Conversation ensues.

While walking toward Iron Will's house, he and "Time Turner" hear Twilight shouting "OH MY GOODNESS, OH MY GOODNESS..." at the top of her lungs, and they think something is wrong, so they run into the library where she is at her telescope and excitedly scribbling notes.
"Time Turner": Are you alright miss?
Iron Will: We heard screaming.
Twilight: Oh I'm fine, I'm great actually, I've just spotted what looks like an alien ship entering the atmosphere!
"Time Turner": Aliens? Please, everypony knows their's no such thing. (IRONY TO THE MAX)
Twilight: It's true, it looks like it's headed...Straight for Canterlot! Oh my Goodness, I need to get the girls and get there immediately. The Princess might need help greeting them.
She rushes out the door, and Iron Will looks at "Time Turner" and they both shrug.

"Time Turner" and Iron Will reached their destination of Iron Will and Trixie's new house when they heard shouting coming from the library.

"OH MY GOODNESS, OH MY GOODNESS!"

Unsure what was going on the two rushed over to see what was happening. They enter the library to see a purple unicorn mare with a violet mane with two stripes, one purple, one pink, purple eyes, and a pink six-sided star for a cutie mark, and she was looking though a telescope.

"Is something wrong miss?" "Time Turner" asked.

"I'm fine, but I see some strange ship in the sky." Twilight said, not looking away from her microscope. "It looks like it's heading to Canterlot. I need to get the girls. For all we know this can be some unknown life form."

"You mean like aliens? Please, everypony knows their's no such thing."

"With Snowflame, there's proof of the mutiverse, so aliens aren't that far fetched." She then runs out of the library.

"Snowflame?" "Time Turner asks.

"He's some ape creature. Iron Will met him once. He punched Iron Will out. Not Iron Will's proudest moments." The Minotaur said.

At Sugarcube Corner...

Meanwhile, Pinkie was discussing crazy marriage plans with the wives-to-be.

At the Bakery, Pinkie Pie comes up with the idea for a double wedding for Ditzy and Trixie to cut down on the costs, but also doubling the attendees and thus the fun of the party, but they say they don't know each other that well. She tells them to become friends so that they will, so they begin talking about their lives.

Pinkie Pie: Be Luna

"Why not a double wedding? The fun will be doubled!" Pinkie said to the two brides to be.

"Trixie doesn't know this mare well enough to let her share my spot light on Trixie's special day." The magical mare says.

"I was going to say the same thing about you." Ditzy mumbles.

"Well I'm sure if you two talk, you can become friends." Pinkie says.

"I guess Trixie can talk with this mare, but first The Great and Powerful Trixie needs the little filly's room."

"It's down the hall."

"Thank you."

Twilight eventually bursts into the Bakery and tells Pinkie that an alien ship has landed in Canterlot, and that she and the other Elements of Harmony need to get to Canterlot ASAP. Derpy becomes panicked when she hears the word "aliens" since that's the sort of thing the Doctor is needed for. Pinkie tells Obito to hold down the fort while she rushes out. Derpy tells Trixie that she needs to find "Time Turner" immediately so they rush out as well, after telling Dinky to go home of course. Derpy thinks (Of course Aliens have to land during the best day of my life, harumph).

Trixie walks off, and not that much long after Twilight burst though the door.

"Pinkie, Canterlot, Aliens, Come!" Twilight exclaims.

Pinkie just smiles and says, "Okay! Obito hold down the fort!"

"Okay." Obito shouts from the other room, while washing dishes.

Pinkie bounces off with Twilight.

'Did she say Aliens? Of course Aliens have to land during the best day of my life, harumph.' Ditzy turns to Dinky and says, "Go home Dinky, I'm see you in a few hours."

"Okay." Dinky says.

Ditzy rushes out to find "Time Turner".

Trixie walks out of the bathroom and looks around the empty bakery. "Were did those two go?"

At the Crazy Club...

In the Nut House, Blueblood is forced to participate in group therapy session, with Screwloose still hugging his leg and Disco Dance eating pieces of food out of his hair, where another pony with a Limbo Stick cutie mark is introduced.
Zant: Hello, my name is Zant
Blueblood: That's nice (uninterested)
Zant: Why are you so down?
Blueblood: I am a Prince, and I'm in a nut house surrounded by insufferable fools, and I'm not insane! Not yet at least.
Zant: Oh I know how you feel, I'm not insane either.
Blueblood: Really?
Zant: Yes, I am a very emotionally stable individual...
Blueblood: Oh thank goodness, I though I was the only...
Zant: just ask my butler, Fluffy (He points to an empty seat next to him)
Blueblood: Fluffy? (Confused)
Zant: Yes, the magical winged fire breathing panda. Fluffy you don't think I'm insane right?
Fluffy:...
Zant: See, Fluffy thinks I'm fine
Blueblood: Sigh

Prince Blueblood was sitting, with that barking mare still hugging his leg and the disco dance pony eating pieces of food out of his own hair, that's when another pony, this one a white unicorn with a red mane, red eyes and a Limbo Stick cutie mark came up to him
.

"Hello, my name is Zant." He says to Blueblood.

"That's nice." Blueblood says uninterested.

"Why are you so down?"

"I am a Prince, and I'm in a nut house surrounded by insufferable fools, and I'm not insane! Not yet at least."

"Oh I know how you feel, I'm not insane either."

"Really?"

"Yes, I am a very emotionally stable individual..."

"Oh thank goodness, I though I was the only..." The Prince began to say before getting interupted.

"Just ask my butler, Fluffy." Zant then points to an empty seat next to him.

"Fluffy?" Blueblood asked confused.

" Yes, the magical winged fire breathing panda. Fluffy you don't think I'm insane right?" There is silence for a few seconds, "See, Fluffy thinks I'm fine."

Blueblood sighs again.

In Discord's room at Caterlot Castle...

Before anything though, a rocket ship crashes into Discord's room and knocks him out, causing the room to become trippy like Willy Wonka's tunnel from hell. The Ultimate Warrior steps out and yells
"The gods tell me you are the buttery goodness to my lobster bisque and that once you are drained of the garlic salt, then I will be able to fulfill my destiny and defeat Hoke Hogan (SKRONK)!!!"
Snowflame understands this insane rambling and joyfully says.
"Snowflame sees you are a worshipper of my god, and you look like my long lost brother. I would love to fight you, but first let's wait till the next chapter to actually fight just to hype up the readers!"
The Ultimate Warrior shouts: "AGREED!!!"
TO BE CONTINUED

And now
COMMENCE MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!

Snowflame was about to ask Discord for help when suddenly what looked like a rocketship crashed though the wall, crashing into Discord.

The ships door opens, revealing another human.

"The gods tell me you are the buttery goodness to my lobster bisque and that once you are drained of the garlic salt, then I will be able to fulfill my destiny and defeat Hoke Hogan *SKRONK*!!!" The Ultimate Warrior shouts.

Snowflame smiles and says, "Snowflame can see you're a follower of my god. What are you here for?"

"I am here to destroy the one who stands in the way of Hoke Hogan! And there will be no honey-baked ham for you, once the Warrior takes you down like a blind goldfish. Buttons! Buttons! Who's got the buttons?!"

"Okay, Snowflame will fight you, but lets find a better battlefield."

"That is fine for The Warrior!" The Ultimate Warrior says, pumping his arms.

Snowflame's smile grows, "Oh this will be fun."

Cocaine vs. Destrucity(15)

Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior have a "Calm" Discussion while they walk to the Canterlot Gardens. They are still shouting, but they talk about their lives.
Snowflame: So then Snowflame was thrown into his tool shed which exploded, and those stupid people who thought they were heroes thought I was dead, but instead I escaped and rented a room with some comic nerd before coming here.
Ultimate Warrior: I had to travel the plains of Destrucity to take back my body or something, It wasn't very clear. I have defeated the Iron Sheik and Macho Man Randy Savage, but I have yet to take out the main entre on the menu of life's kitchen, HOKE HOGAN!!!!
Snowflame: Snowflame gets the feeling that you really hate that guy
Ultimate Warrior: The Warrior loathes every fiber of his balding being. He is the salt to my pepper, the Splenda to my Sugar, the Yoko to my Ono, and I will defeat him once I am worthy.
Snowflame: Snowflame wishes he had an arch enemy, but all Snowflame got was D list hackers (Sigh)
Ultimate Warrior: Do not worry, the Warrior will make you feel needed once he rip and tears, RIP AND TEARS YOUR GUTS!!!
Snowflame: (Smiles) Thanks, I needed to hear that
Ultimate Warrior: No problem!

" So then Snowflame was thrown into his tool shed which exploded, and those stupid people who thought they were heroes thought Snowflame was dead, but instead Snowflame escaped and rented a room with some comic nerd before coming here. Now Snowflame lives with some lesbian ponies." Snowflame said to The Ultimate Warrior while they walked to a new battlefield.

"I had to travel the plains of Destrucity to take back my body or something, It wasn't very clear. I have defeated the Iron Sheik and Macho Man Randy Savage, but I have yet to take out the main entre on the menu of life's kitchen, HOKE HOGAN!!!!" The Ultimate Warrior shouted.

"Snowflame gets the feeling that you really hate that guy."

"The Warrior loathes every fiber of his balding being. He is the salt to my pepper, the Splenda to my Sugar, the Yoko to my Ono, and I will defeat him once I am worthy."

"Snowflame wishes he had an arch enemy, but all Snowflame got was D list hackers *Sigh*"

"Do not worry, the Warrior will make you feel needed once he rip and tears, RIP AND TEARS YOUR GUTS!!!"

Snowflame smiles and says. "Thanks, Snowflame needed to hear that."

"No problem!"

Meanwhile in Discord's Room...

Back in Discord's Room, Celestia is trying to revive Discord with mouth to mouth while Luna and her guards stare slack jawed at the Space Ship. Eventually Discord awakens and pulls Celestia into a cheap kiss with tongue, like Squints from the Sandlot and she gets pissed.
Discord: Why Tia, I didn't know you cared? (Shit eating Grin)
Celestia: You Pervet!!!
She slaps him then asks what happened before there is what sounds like extremely loud thunder...

Discord was passed out on the floor so Princess Celestia when she saw him instantly reacted and was trying to revive him with some CPR.

While this was happening, Princess Luna was just staring in awe of the mysterious ship sitting it the middle of the room.

Discords eye opened as Celestia was preforming mouth to mouth, and put this paw on the back of her head, pulling her into a cheap kiss.

Celestia pulls away and Discord says, "Why Tia, I didn't know you cared?" with a huge shit eating grin on his face.

"You Pervert!" Celestia shouts at him, before slapping him in the face.

Discord rubs the cheek that was his and mutters, "Meh, it was worth it."

In the Canterlot Gardens...

OH THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! :pinkiehappy:
Snowflame: You have the power of cocaine on your side. So this should be easy.
Either way.
Punch Warrior in the face, establish superiority.

They make it to the gardens where they face each other.
Snowflame: Alright, who goes first?
Ultimate Warrior: The Warrior usually lets the fates of Destrucity decide and just rides the waves like chocolate pudding in the chill freezer of life
Snowflame: That sounds delicious, but I really want to fight now, soooo....
He Punches the Warrior in the face hard and sends him flying into the hedge maze, Snowflame feels disappointed because he expected more but the Warrior rushes out quickly and busts Snowflame in the jaw and sends him flying back.
Ultimate Warrior: YOU WILL NEED MORE THAN THAT TO BRING DOWN THIS PARADE OF PINK ELEPHANTS.
Snowflame wipes blood from his lip and smiles. This is gonna be a good fight
Snowflame: FEEL THE BURN OF THE WHITE GOD OF ECSTACY!!!!
They Rush each other and begin an epic fight which consist of Wrestling Moves on steroids, including pile drivers, Irish Whips, and hitting eachother with outdoor equipment. Their punches cause shockwaves that break the glass in the palace and keep the gaurds or the Princesses from stopping them. Discord Just watches with 3D glasses and a bowl of popcorn.
Their blows force them into the air past the outskirts of Cloudsdale where Spitfire and Soarin are getting married. Snowflame see's Rainbow Dash and yells
"Hi Rainbow Pony" before he and the Warrior fall back through the clouds punching each other the whole way down.
Rainbow Dash (Still in her Red Dress) is like "What the Hay?" and flies down to see whats going on.
The combatants land in the middle of Canterlot where they crash into Vinyl Scratch's party and fight in the neon lights. They also crash into Donut Joes and other places with Rainbow Dash, Celestia, and Luna trying to get them to stop the whole time. Eventually they crash into train station where the rest of the Mane 6, along with Derpy and "Time Turner" arrive and witness their battle.
Celestia: Oh thank goodness you girls are here, I can't get them to stop
The Girl's are speechless on two accounts, 1. The titanic fight occurring and 2....
Twilight: Rainbow Dash, are you wearing a dress?
She Blushes Immensely
Pinkie Pie: Of course, Rainbow Dash always dresses in style :pinkiehappy:
Rainbow Dash: Shut up, we have to stop them
Luna: Yes, make fun of your friend later
Twilight: Oh, right!
They rush after the fighters leaving "Time Turner" and Derpy behind
"Time Turner": Why are we hear again? (Afraid)
Derpy: Ummm, we have to pick up a blue box that belongs to us and bring it back before anything happens.
"Time Turner": What you mean that one (He points at the TARDIS that is five feet away)
Derpy: Well that's convenient
They load it on the train and get out of their because neither want to be around for the conclusion to the fight.
Eventually the fight crashes back right to where it started at the Castle. Both Snowflame and the Warrior are exhausted since they are equally matched, and they go for one final punch each
Snowflame: COCAINE!!!!
Ultimate Warrior: DESTRUCITY!!!!
They each punch each other right between the eyes at the same time, causing a gigantic crater to form in the middle of the throne room, and both are K.O.'D
Everypony is speechless, except Discord who calls for an encore. Luckily during the whole fight, nopony was hurt.

Also, Raining Blood by Slayer should be playing while they fight :pinkiehappy:

Some Battle Music Starts

"Alright, who goes first?" Snowflame asked.

"The Warrior usually lets the fates of Destrucity decide and just rides the waves like chocolate pudding in the chill freezer of life." The Ultimate Warrior responded.

"That sounds delicious, but I really want to fight now, soooo...." He runs at the Warrior and punches him right in the face, sending him flying into the hedge maze. "Snowflame feels disappointed, he expected more from you."

Then, the Warrior rushes out quickly and busts Snowflame in the jaw and sends him flying back.

"YOU WILL NEED MORE THAN THAT TO BRING DOWN THIS PARADE OF PINK ELEPHANTS!!!!" The Warrior shouts.

Snowflame wipes blood from his lip and smiles, "FEEL THE BURN OF THE WHITE GOD OF ECSTACY!!!!"

They Rush each other and lock each others hands in a test of strength, nether side budging. Snowflame seeing this took a deep breath through his nose and exhaled though his mouth, blowing white flames in the Warrior's face. The Warrior let go of Snoeflame's hands to put out the fire on his face.

"Huh, Snowflame is surprised that worked." The cocaine fueled super villain said.

The next thing Snowflame knew The Warrior had ran at Snowflame with his left arm out, knocking him down with a clothesline.

Snowflame jumped back up only to have to duck under another clothesline, he then grabbed the Warriors arms and irish whipped him into a nearby statue of Roboguard.

The head of the statue falls off and The Warrior catches it, only to throw it right at Snowflame.

Snowflame throws a ball of fire at the statue head and when they collide there's an explosion of marble.

The Warrior hits Snowflame right in the jaw with a running kick. Snowflame is sent flying in the air.

Meanwhile in Cloudsdale...

Two pegasi, one a light blue stallion with a dark blue mane wearing a suit, the other a yellow mare with a orange mane wearing a white dress wear standing at an alter.

In the rows of seats nearby Rainbow Dash was sitting in her red gala dress, thinking to herself, 'Oh my gosh! One, I can't believe that Soarin and Spitfire are actually getting married, which making this the first time ever that two Wonderbolts did so, but also that I got invited to a Wonderbolt wedding! Though once I join the Wonderbolts, I can't be in a relationship. I ain't got no time for that. Yet, that fortune teller Rarity made me talk to said I would marry a unicorn. Not to sound racist, but I can't see that happening in any possible way.'

Meanwhile in a Alternet Universe...

Two unicorns and an alicorn were walking in the ruins of Canterlot when one of them, a black unicorn stallion with a purple mane turned his head and looked around.

"Is something wrong Seth?" the alicorn asked him.

"I don't know, I just got a weird feeling for a second there." He responded.

Then out of nowhere, Snowflame flew through the cloud floor, "Hi Rainbow Pony!" he says before he lands on one of the walls and uses it to springboard down through the clouds.

Rainbow Dash exclaims "What the Hay?" and flies down to see whats going on.

Snowflame uses the momentum from his free fall to charge up a punch than when he returned to the ground he hits the Warrior right it the face, the sound of the impact was so loud, it could be heard all throughout Equestria.

The Ultimate Warrior is sent flying thought several buildings, including a coffee shop, toy store, sex shop, and finally he landed inside of a night club wear Vinyl Scratch was performing so of her new music.

The Warrior sits up to see Snowflame stepping through the hole that the Warrior left in the wall.

"Do you think that will end The Warrior? When I am done with you you'll be erased from history like Chris Beniot!" The Ultimate Warrior shouts.

"Oh Snowflame is just getting started." Snowflame responds.

Snowflame rushes at The Warrior and they just start exchanging blows. Throughout the club, the ponies in said club seemed to ignored them and continued to do whatever it was that they were doing.

The Warrior ended up pushing Snowflame against one of the walls, stepped back a bit and then booted him in the face, sending him through the wall, and into another building, this one a doughnut shop.

Snowflame came back out eating a bearclaw, when he rushed at The Warrior, grabbed onto him, and just ran through any building that happened to be in the way, till they reached the train station. When they ran in front of a speeding train. The train hit them full force, sending them both flying.

At that time once the train stopped 6 mares and a stallion stepped off.

"Okay girls lets find Princess Celestia." Twilight said to the her friends.

"Ummm... Ditzy, why are we here?" "Time Turner" asked.

"We need to pick up a blue box we left at the castle." Ditzy answered.

"We've been to the Castle?"

"Yeah, we know the Princesses."

"We do?"

The two fighters landed back were the battle started, the Castle, the throne room to be more precise, both on their feet, despite crashing through the roof.

They then both run at each other, ready to get the final hit on the other.

"COCAINE!" Snowflame shouts.

"DESTRUCITY!" The Ultimate Warrior shouts back.

They each punch each other right between the eyes at the same time, causing a huge hockwave, when the dust clears there is a gigantic crater to form in the middle of the throne room, and both of the combatants are knocked out, laying on the ground.

That's when the Princesses walk in and their mouths just drop.

Discord comes in not soon after and goes, "Aaawwww, I missed something fun.

Meanwhile in the Wacky Snack...

Zant: Aren't your meds wearing off right about.... now.

And Back at the Loony Bin, Blueblood saw the Hairless Ape battling another one and the destruction it was causing and felt his blood chill. He also tried to get the staff and others to look out the window and see, but Zant went off his medication and was causing a crazy distraction with multiple moodswings. So they ignored him

Blueblood looked at Zant who just started laughing in a creepy way.

"Get them out get them out! I feel them swarming around inside my skull! Just like butterflies. Pretty colorful butterflies. Blue ones, green ones, yellow and red, the color of blood. Warm, tasty blood. Everyone's always staring at me. Why do they stare? Oh my Celestia somepony turned the world upside down! I'm a little bunny-rabbit. I never wanted to be an evil overlord, I just wanted to be a dancer."

"What?" Blueblood asked.

"This is all your fault!"

"Ah! Don't break me in half!"

"Why would I? You already broke my heart!" Zant then started to cry, "LIMBO TIME!"

"I'm scared."

We Interrupt this Program Once Again...

To Bring You This...

Shhh... Snowflame's Sleepy (17)

The Mane 6, Derpy, and "Time Turner" all travel to the castle seeing a few buildings in disarray with Ponies looking disheveled.
Twilight: Oh No, the aliens must have done this, we have to get to the Princesses Immediately.
Applejack: Why would aliens only attack the doughnut shop, the dance club, and that store with all the unmentionables in it?
Derpy: (Whispers) And there are still ponies alive, so that means it's not the Daleks or Cyberponies
"Time Turner": You say something dear?
Derpy: Nope
Pinkie Pie: Maybe they got drunk, hungry and horny and they don't know how to open doors?
Fluttershy: (Just blushes at the scene that forms in her head)
Rarity: Pinkamena Diane Pie, Such Language!
Pinkie Pie: Hey, it could happen
Applejack: That's just as likely as Rainbow Dash wearing a frilly dress in public
(Rainbow Dash in said dress flies to them)
Rainbow Dash: Girls! Thank Celestia you're here, Snowflame and another monkey thing like him were just fighting.
All the others stare with their mouths open
Applejack: OK, I stand corrected Pinkie
Pinkie Pie: Told ya so, plus Rainbow Dash always dresses in style!
(Dash realizes that she's still dressed up and blushes angrily)
Rainbow Dash: Forget about that right now, Snowflame and the other ape went flying into the Castle.
Twilight: OH No, Double Time it Girls

The Wielders of the Elements of Harmony (minus Rainbow Dash), Derpy, and "Time Turner" all traveled around Canterlot, seeing a few buildings in disarray with Ponies looking disheveled.

"Oh No, the aliens must have done this, we have to get to the Princesses Immediately." Twilight said sounding worried.

"Now I'm not so sure about this whole alien thing, but if that is the case, why would aliens only attack the doughnut shop, the dance club, and that store with all the unmentionables in it?"

"And there are still ponies alive, so that means it's not the Daleks or Cyberponies." Derpy whispers to herself.

"You say something dear?" "Time Turner" asked.

"Nope."

"Maybe they got drunk, hungry and horny and they don't know how to open doors?" Pinkie Pie suggested, making Fluttershy blush at the though.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie, Such Language!" Rarity Scholded.

"Hey, it could happen."

"That's just as likely as Rainbow Dash wearing a frilly dress in public." Applejack stated.

That when Rainbow Dash show up still in her red gala dress. "Girls! Thank Celestia you're here, Snowflame and another monkey thing like him were just fighting."

All the others stare with their mouths open at the sight of their tomcolt friend dressed in such a manner.

"OK, I stand corrected Pinkie." Applejack said.

"Told ya so, plus Rainbow Dash always dresses in style!" Pinkie said, singing the last part.

Dash realizes that she's still dressed up and blushes angrily "Forget about that right now, Snowflame and the other ape went flying into the Castle."

"OH No, Double Time it Girls." Twilight said.

Name: Princess Twilight Sparkle

Strength: 3

Speed: 4

Intelligence: 10

Friendship: 10

Magic: 10

5 Minutes Later...

They arrive at the Throne Room where Celestia, Discord, and Luna are still standing over the two unconscious humans.
Twilight: Princess Celestia what happened? Is Snowflame OK? And where are the aliens?
Celestia: Well we believe that this other human is the entity that flew the ship
Twilight: How can you know for sure?
Discord: Seeing as how it crashed on my head as soon as your pet monkey entered, and now he's unconscious next to this thing, I'd say it's a good guess.
Twilight: Oh...Are you alright?
Discord: I'm never alright, but apparently the chicks love head injuries and will give you sugar to help soothe the pain, isn't that right Tia?
Celestia: Discord! (threateningly)
Twilight: Ummmmm....OK
Pinkie Pie: He's right you know, Sugar always makes my owies go away :pinkiehappy: Oh, what's Luna doing to Snowflame and the other human?
Celestia: She's trying to access their minds while they are asleep and find out exactly what is going on, it's safer this way seeing the damage they've caused.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, well can we look at the ship while she works?
Twilight: Yes, I'd like to see it as well
Celestia: Of course My Little Ponies (Snowflame Snorts in his sleep at that sentence) Discord, take them back to your room, and no funny business, got it?
Discord: Of course not, I know you'd want me to save that for you later tonight right?
Celestia: (Blushing) Just go!
Applejack: (Whispers to Rarity) Wonder what's going on with them
Rarity: Well it's none of our business, a Lady never pries
Rainbow Dash: I bet you Ten Bits they're doing it
Shocked faces on the girls appear
(As they go, she pulls Pinkie aside for a moment)
Pinkie Pie: What's up Princess?
Celestia: Snowflame told me that an Assassin was left in your care, where is he now?
Pinkie: Oh Obie? Ya, he was hired to kill Snowfie until he got knocked out, now he's running shop at Sugar Cube Corner, he's really nice once you get to know him
Celestia: And you feel he is able to be reformed?
Pinkie: Of course, plus he's a great baker :pinkiehappy:
Back at SugarCube Corner
Obito: Oh Celestia, how do I make a chocolate mousse?!!! (Panicking)
Celestia: Alright, but I will personally speak with him once this matter with Snowflame is cleared up.
Pinkie: Okie Dokie Lokie (and she bounces off)
Celesia sighs then looks out the window where the Doctor and Derpy are at the TARDIS.
Celestia: Oh Good, the Doctor is here, we'll see what he knows (She walks to the gardens to speak with them)

The Element wielders arrive at the Throne Room where they find Celestia, Discord, and Luna are standing over two unconscious humans.

"Princess Celestia what happened? Is Snowflame OK? And where are the aliens?" Twilight asked, worried.

"Well we believe that this other human is the entity that flew the ship." The Princess of the Sun said.

"How can you know for sure?"

"Seeing as how it crashed on my head as soon as your pet monkey entered, and now he's unconscious next to this thing, I'd say it's a good guess." Discord said rubbing the side of his head.

"Oh...Are you alright?"

"I'm never alright, but apparently the chicks love head injuries as much as you love fantasy stallions, and will give you sugar to help soothe the pain, isn't that right Tia?"

"Discord!" Celestia said in a threatening tone.

"Ummmmm....OK."

"He's right you know, Sugar always makes my owies go away." Pinkie says, "Oh, what's Luna doing to Snowfy and the other human?"

"She's trying to access their minds while they are asleep and find out exactly what is going on, it's safer this way seeing the damage they've caused." Princess Celestia explained.

"Oh, well can we look at the ship while she works?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes, I'd like to see it as well." Twilight stated.

"Of course My Little Ponies." Celestia says, making Snowflame Snorts in his sleep at that sentence, "Discord, take them back to your room, and no funny business, got it?"

"Of course not, I know you'd want me to save that for you later tonight right?" Discord says making a large grin.

Celestia starts blushing, "Just go!"

Applejack whispers to Rarity, "Wonder what's going on with them."

"Well it's none of our business, a Lady never pries." Rarity says.

"I bet you Ten Bits they're doing it." Rainbow whispers to them

Shocked faces grrew on Applejack and Rarity.

As they go, Princess Celestia pulls Pinkie aside for a moment.

"What's up Princess?" Pinkie asks.

"Snowflame told me that an Assassin was left in your care, where is he now?" Celestia.

"Oh Obie? Ya, he was hired to kill Snowfie until he got knocked out, now he's running shop at Sugar Cube Corner while I'm gone, he's really nice once you get to know him."

"And you feel he is able to be reformed?"

"Of course, plus he's a great baker!"

Back at SugarCube Corner...

"Oh Celestia, how do I make a chocolate mousse?!!!" Obito says, panicking.

Back at The Castle...

"Alright, but I will personally speak with him once this matter with Snowflame is cleared up." Celestia says.

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie exclaims and she bounces off.

Celestia sighs then looks out a window where she sees The Doctor and Derpy by the TARDIS. "Oh Good, The Doctor is here, we'll see what he knows." She starts walking to the gardens to speak with them.

Meanwhile: Luna is in the shared Dreamscape of Snowflame and the Warrior, and it is pretty trippy with memories of wrestling, doing drugs, and fighting interdementional beings. They had one shared memory of an angry human in a brown hat and jacket reading comic books that seemed to be their only connecting source. She eventually delves further and finds both of them sitting around a chessboard with top hats and monocles and cups of tea.
Snowflame: And Snowflame said, that's not a duck! (both laugh)
Warrior: My good sir, that is the best opening segway for outside observers to enter, for they have no idea what is going on, and we can pretend that we do!
Snowflame: True True!
Luna: (Stunned)
Snowflame: Oh Hai MoonButt, would you care for some tea?
Warrior: It's good for your tongue as well as your liver and kidneys!
Luna: Very well then, I have questions for you two
Snowflame: Oh thank Cocaine, none of us know how to play chess anyway
Warrior: How can you not be kinged? There are kings on that battleground?
Luna thinks this is going to be a long session.

Meanwhile Luna enters a shared Dreamscape of Snowflame and the other human, and it was strange. She saw the other human fighting other humans in some sort of arean with ropes, and Snowflame with black hair, no face paint, and responding to the name 'Fabian Orosco'. Yet they seemed to have one shared memory of an angry human in a brown hat and jacket reading comic books, but that seemed to be their only connecting source. She them delves further to finds both of them sitting around a chessboard with top hats, monocles and cups of tea.

"And Snowflame said, that's not a duck!" Snowflame says as they both start laughing.

"My good sir, that is the best opening segway for outside observers to enter, for they have no idea what is going on, and we can pretend that we do!" The other one exclaims.

"True True!"

Luna just stands there, just stunned and confused.

Snowflame notices Luna and says, "Oh Hai MoonButt, would you care for some tea?"

"It's good for your tongue as well as your liver and kidneys!" The Warrior adds.

"Very well then, I have questions for you two." Luna says.

"Oh thank Cocaine, nether of us know how to play chess anyway." Snowflame says.

"How can you not be kinged? There are kings on that battleground?" The Warrior asked.

Luna sighs thinking that this is going to be a long session.

At Insanity Lane...

And back at the Happy Home. Anger Management sessions have started and Blueblood, Zant, Disco Dance, and Screw Loose tell their anger problems.

"Now then who would like to talk about there anger problems?" Drum Circle asks the group of ponies.

"I have not anger problems, and I'm NOT insane!" Blueblood shouts.

"Nether am I." Zant adds.

"But, you just sang a song about how insane you are."

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"You're just being cray-cray. I didn't sing. Right Fluffy?" There is more silence, "See Fluffy says I didn't."

"Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!" Disco Dance shouts.

Screw Loose barks.

Drum Circle smiles, "I think we're making some progress.

And Now A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

"Uhhhh... Snowflame dosen't have anything to really say... Oh wait!" Snowflame pulls a fortune cookie out of his pocket and throws the whole thing in his mouth and starts chewing. He then pulls out a strip of paper out of his moutn before swallowing and reading off the paper. "Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the nest moment... What in the name of cocaine does that mean?!"

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Super Manly Bro Hug Time!(18)

Luna: Go deeper.

In the Dreamscape, Luna addresses the other human first.
Luna: I am Princess Luna of Equestria, who are you?
Warrior: I am the Ultimate Warrior, disciple of Destrucity and eventual Heavy Weight Champion of the WWF, AND THE UNIVERSE!!!!
(Images in the background flicker showing the Warrior fighting Macho Man, Iron Sheik, and others), Luna has no idea what any of that means.
Luna: Okaaaaayyyyy.... Well why did you crash your ship into our castle and attack Snowflame?
Warrior: I had to defeat him in order to call upon the power of the gods and defeat Hoke Hogan!!! Their siren call burned through my thoughts like hot sauce, so I answered them their phone line from Hell! It seems the battle was a tie though, and that weak sauce apparently can't cut it.
Luna looks over at Snowflame for an explanation
Snowflame: Don't ask Snowflame, all Snowflame knows is he crashed into the Star Trek guy and wanted to fight so he can have confidence to fight Hulk Hogan, and that sounded like fun.
Luna: Alright, who is this Hulk Hogan?
Snowflame: His archenemy or something. Still wish I had one. (Sigh)
Images of Hulk Hogan defeating the Ultimate Warrior and others are shown while "Real American" plays (Hulk Hogan's Theme) (The Warrior is upset and tips the table over.
Warrior: HE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!! I WILL BRING HIM CRASHING DOWN LIKE SO MANY PINK FLUFFY PINATAS IN THE PAST. HE WILL FALL BY MY HAND....(Looks down in sadness) ONE DAY!!!
Luna backs up a bit in fear
Snowflame: Whoa! Snowflame thinks you should take a chill pill!
Warrior: I CAN'T, DON'T YOU SEE BIG RED LOBSTER MAN? I FAILED TO DESTROY YOU, NOW THE GOD'S WON'T GIVE ME THEIR SUGARY GOODNESS POWERS. I WILL ONLY LOSE TO HIM AGAIN!!!
Snowflame knew what it was like to be defeated, and his time in Equestria taught him one thing, Hugs Solve Everything.
Warrior: What are you doing? That isn't the proper way to do a power slam!
Snowflame: It's a hug bro, you just need to hug it out.
Warrior: I don't know if I can, this feels really weird!
Snowflame: It's OK, Hugs are good. The colorful ponies taught Snowflame this. It's helpful for friends to do.
Warrior: Friend? The Warrior knows not the meaning of this word!
Snowflame: Friends are good, they listen to your problems and help you.
Warrior: But we just fought and knocked each other out!
Snowflame: Ya, that's why Snowflame considers you a friend, you are a tough cookie, and your powers are on par with the power of Cocaine. Snowflame likes that, plus you're the only other human here.
Warrior: The Ultimate Warrior feels something, deep inside, like giant butterflies attacking the Tokyo of my soul!
Snowflame: That's the magic of friendship, better than any drug except for Cocaine. That's why Snowflame decided to live here, because Snowflame learned that if you’re taking over a small Central American military complex, it’s more meaningful when you’re taking it over with a friend.
The beauty of those words hit the Ultimate Warrior right in his gooey center. He hugged Snowflame back and started crying manly tears on his shoulder.
Warrior: It's not fair how he is the face of wrestling, I still have all my hair and I get nothing!
Snowflame got teary eyed himself
Snowflame: Snowflame knows your pain, Snowflame didn't get to be in the Injustice game or in Scribblenauts Unmasked.
They both cry into each other's shoulders while "Why Can't We Be Friends" plays and Luna looks at them in awe and confusion.
Luna: OK, what just happened here?

In the Dreamscape, Luna decided to addresse the other human first. "I am Princess Luna of Equestria, who are you?"

"I am the Ultimate Warrior, disciple of Destrucity and eventual Heavy Weight Champion of the WWF, AND THE UNIVERSE!!!!" After he said that images in the background flicker showing the Warrior fighting several other humans, Luna has no idea what any of that means, yet got the feeling that one of his opponents saved the human race, but wasn't sure why.

"Okaaaaayyyyy.... Well why did you crash your ship into our castle and attack Snowflame?"

"I had to defeat him in order to call upon the power of the gods and defeat Hoke Hogan!!! Their siren call burned through my thoughts like hot sauce, so I answered them their phone line from Hell! It seems the battle was a tie though, and that weak sauce apparently can't cut it."

Luna in confusion looks over at Snowflame for an explanation, seeing that he seemed to be the more sane out of the two, and that's saying a lot.

"Don't ask Snowflame, all Snowflame knows is he crashed into the Star Trek guy and wanted to fight so he can have confidence to fight Hulk Hogan, and that sounded like fun." Snowflame said.

"Alright, who is this Hulk Hogan?" Luna asked.

"His archenemy or something. Still wish I had one." Snowflame said with a sigh.

That's when images of a human with a blond handlebar mustache, dressed in yellow and red defeating the Ultimate Warrior and others shown before appeared while some music plays.

The Warriorgets an upset look and tips over the table, "HE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!! I WILL BRING HIM CRASHING DOWN LIKE SO MANY PINK FLUFFY PINATAS IN THE PAST. HE WILL FALL BY MY HAND...." he looks down in sadness "ONE DAY!!!"

Luna backs up a bit in fear.

"Whoa! Snowflame thinks you should take a chill pill!" Snowflame says putting up his hands.

"I CAN'T, DON'T YOU SEE BIG RED LOBSTER MAN? I FAILED TO DESTROY YOU, NOW THE GOD'S WON'T GIVE ME THEIR SUGARY GOODNESS POWERS. I WILL ONLY LOSE TO HIM AGAIN!!!"

Snowflame knew what it was like to be defeated, and his time in Equestria taught him one thing, Hugs Solve Everything. So he wrapped his arms around The Warrior.

"What are you doing? That isn't the proper way to do a power slam!"

"It's a hug bro, you just need to hug it out."

"I don't know if I can, this feels really weird!"

"It's OK, Hugs are good. The colorful ponies taught Snowflame this. It's helpful for friends to do."

"Friend? The Warrior knows not the meaning of this word!"

"Friends are good, they listen to your problems and help you."

"But we just fought and knocked each other out!"

"Ya, that's why Snowflame considers you a friend, you are a tough cookie, and your powers are on par with the power of Cocaine. Snowflame likes that, plus you're the only other human here."

"The Ultimate Warrior feels something, deep inside, like giant butterflies attacking the Tokyo of my soul!"

"That's the magic of friendship, better than any drug except for Cocaine. That's why Snowflame decided to live here, because Snowflame learned that if you’re taking over a small Central American military complex, it’s more fun and meaningful when you’re taking it over with a friend."

The beauty of those words hit the Ultimate Warrior right in his gooey center. He hugged Snowflame back and started crying manly tears on his shoulder. "It's not fair how he is the face of wrestling, I still have all my hair and I get nothing!"

Snowflame gets a little teary eyed himself, "Snowflame knows your pain, Snowflame didn't get to be in the Injustice game or in Scribblenauts Unmasked. Why is that? Does Warner Brothers just hate Cocaine or something? Snowflame means it's a movie studio for Cocaine's sake!"

They both cry into each other's shoulders while some new music plays.

Luna looks at them in awe and confusion "OK, what just happened here?"

Meanwhile...

Back in the Castle, Discord leads the ponies to his bedroom. He is wearing two dolphins as shoes as he glides along through the air.
Discord: I can never get these things to stop squeaking, ha ha ha.
Rainbow Dash: Ha Ha, very funny (she says sarcastically)
Discord: Hey at least my fashion sense doesn't scream "Please Notice Me, I'm Very Lonely!"
Rainbow Dash: It's a Wedding Dress! And hurry this up, I gotta get back before it ends!
Discord: No need, it's been called on account of rain (he smiles mischievously and snaps his fingers)
Rainbow Dash: What did you do?
Discord: I delayed the wedding for a few days and gave you extra time so you can hang with me and your friends
At the Wedding, Fish start falling from nowhere on the guests.
Soarin looks at Spitfire and sighs.
Soarin: I knew we shouldn't have invited Rainbow Dash. First that weird hairless monkey and now this. Weird stuff always happens when her and her friends are around.
Spitfire: OK fine you were right. We'll do this again tomorrow, and take her off the guest list.
Back at the Castle
Discord: Everything will be alright
Rainbow Dash: Fine
Discord: Now I will tell you the tale of how I was almost killed today.
Fluttershy: Oh My.
Discord: Well you see, this big hunk of metal came crashing down on my dome, then I fell to the ground believing I would die, and that's where Tia felt so sorry for me that she decided to do filthy, indecent, very enjoyable things to me...
Twilight: TMI! TMI! (the others just looked embarrassed and disgusted)
Discord: ...which I will not go into detail about in present company, but suffice to say, it worked (Return of the Shit Eating Grin)
Twilight: Uggghhh, Let's just move on and look at the ship.
Dash: Looks like somepony owes me twenty bits (She looks at Rarity and Applejack)
As they enter Discord's room, they all gasp in awe
Twilight: Look at it, the technology is far more advanced than our own
Dash: And it looks soooo cool.
Pinkie: IT'S AMAZING! I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE TO WITNESS SOMETHING THIS MAGNIFICENT, AND NOW MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!
Twilight: I didn't know you liked technology that much Pink...
She turns around and sees Pinkie swimming in Discord's chocolate swimming pool with graham cracker pool toys and marshmallow floaties.
Pinkie: I'M IN HEAVEN!!!
Twilight rolls her eyes and returns her attention back to the ship.
Twilight: It looks heavily damaged, I don't know if it's in working condition or not.
Applejack: Well at least that other hairless monkey ain't goin anywhere.
Twilight: That might not be a good thing if downtown Canterlot is anything to go by.
Discord: Hey it could be worse
Twilight: How so?
Discord: Could be raining (Snap)
Frogs start falling from the roof onto them.
Mane 6: Discord!

Back in the Castle, Discord leads the ponies to his bedroom. He is wearing two dolphins as shoes as he glides along through the air. "I can never get these things to stop squeaking." He says, laughing.

"Ha Ha, very funny." Rainbow Dash says sarcastically.

"Hey at least my fashion sense doesn't scream "Please Notice Me, I'm Very Lonely!"

"It's for a wedding! And hurry this up, I gotta get back before it ends!"

"No need, it's been called on account of rain." He smiles mischievously and snaps his fingers.

"What did you do?"

"I delayed the wedding for a few days and gave you extra time so you can hang with me and your friends."

Meanwhile at Cloudsdale...

At the Wedding, Fish start falling from nowhere on the guests.

Soarin looks at Spitfire and sighs. "I knew we shouldn't have invited Rainbow Dash. First that weird hairless monkey and now this. Weird stuff always happens when her and her friends are around."

"OK fine you were right. We'll do this again tomorrow, and take her off the guest list." Spitfire says before having a troat land in her mane.

Back at the Castle...

"Everything will be alright." Discord said.

"Fine." Rainbow responds.

"Now I will tell you the tale of how I was almost killed today."

"Oh My." Fluttershy said.

"Well you see, this big hunk of metal came crashing down on my dome, then I fell to the ground believing I would die, and that's where Tia felt so sorry for me that she decided to do filthy, indecent, very enjoyable things to me..."

"TO MUCH INFORMATION!" Twilight shouts.

" ...which I will not go into detail about in present company, but suffice to say, it worked." Discord finishes saying with a grin.

"Uggghhh, Let's just move on and look at the ship."

Rainbow Dash flys up to Applejack and Rarity, "Looks like somepony owes me twenty bits.", as they enter Discord's room, they all gasp in awe

"Look at it, the technology is far more advanced than our own!" Twilight says in wonder.

"And it looks soooo cool." Rainbow Dash adds.

"Really? So cool? You didn't do the thing?" Discord asks.

"IT'S AMAZING! I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE TO WITNESS SOMETHING THIS MAGNIFICENT, AND NOW MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!" Pinkie Pie shouts.

I didn't know you liked technology that much Pink..." Twilight began to say before she turned around and sees Pinkie swimming in a chocolate swimming pool with graham cracker pool toys and marshmallow floaties.

"I'M IN HEAVEN!!!" The Pink mare shouts.

Twilight rolls her eyes and returns her attention back to the ship. "It looks heavily damaged, I don't know if it's in working condition or not."

"Well at least that other hairless monkey ain't goin anywhere."

"That might not be a good thing if downtown Canterlot is anything to go by."

"Hey it could be worse." Discord says.

"How so?"

"Could be raining." He says with snap of his fingers. Then frogs start falling from the roof onto them.

"Discord!" All six mares shout.

Discord: Be Carrot Top

Then Discord snaps his figures making a huge cloud of smoke around himself. When it cleared he now looked like a human with a large orange afro and wearing a tank top. "I know this probably isn't what Razor meant, but I don't care."

In the Canterlot Garden...

In the Gardens
Celestia: Doctor, I was wondering when you'd be back for the TARDIS.
Time Turner: Your Majesty (He bows)
Celestia is confused
Celestia: Please, rise Doctor, you don't have to bow.
He looks at Derpy and she nods, and she seems nervous.
Derpy: Well nice catching up with you Princess, but we gotta take the box and go, See Ya,
She tries to go inside, but is stopped by Celestia
Celestia: Wait, I need you and the Doctor to come look at something
Time Turner: Doctor? Doctor Who?
Celestia: Excuse me?
Derpy: I can explain (She goes up and whispers into Celestia's ear)
Derpy: Ok, when Discord teleported us yesterday, he erased the Doctor's memory and now he thinks that he is named Time Turner and that I am his marefriend, and this morning he asked me to marry him, and I know it's wrong, but I do love him and I said yes and now we have plans for a double wedding with a Minotaur and a unicorn, but then we heard about Aliens, so I rushed him here to get the Tardis in case it was in harms way.
Celestia took all that in
Celestia: Wow, You've been busy.
Derpy: I know
Celestia: I can't say I approve of your dishonesty
Derpy: I know (Head Down in Shame)
Celestia: (Pranking Smile Engaged) But...I do believe that settling down, for awhile at least, would be good for him
Derpy: Huh?
Celestia: Well he is rambunctious, and he has gotten on my nerves over the last thousand years just as many times as he has helped, so I think he needs a bit of a vacation, and by Vacation, I mean getting hitched.
Derpy: Oh, when you say it like that, it sounds kinda mean
Celestia: No it's not
Derpy: I never thought of it like that...OK then.
Celestia: I'll bring back his memory eventually, but until then, have fun.
She turns back to "Time Turner"
Celestia: Sorry about that Turner, I know you hate that Nickname, I'll send you back now.
Celestia transports him, Derpy and the TARDIS back into Ponyville.
One of Celestia's guards walks up.
Guard: That was incredibly messed up
Celestia: I still haven't forgiven him for the Cake shortage 200 years ago, this is payback (Sinister Prank Face)
Guard rolls his eyes
Guard: Whatever you say ma'am.
Back in Ponyville
Time Turner: So My nickname is the Doctor?
Derpy: Eyup.

Celestia walks up to The Doctor and says, "Doctor, I was wondering when you'd be back for the TARDIS."

"Your Majesty." "Time Turner" says, bowing to her.

Celestia is confused by this seeing that The Doctor doesn't normally bow to her, "Please, rise Doctor, you don't have to bow."

He looks at Derpy and who gives a nervous nod.

"Well nice catching up with you Princess, but we gotta take the box and go, See Ya. Derpy says, trying to go inside, but is stopped by Celestia

"Wait, I need you and the Doctor to come look at something."

"Doctor? Doctor Who?" "Time Turner" asks.

In the distance they heard a single laugh that sounded like it came from Discord.

"Excuse me?"

"I can explain." Derpy says going up and whispering into Celestia's ear. "Ok, when Discord teleported us yesterday, he erased the Doctor's memory and now he thinks that he is named Time Turner and that I am his marefriend, and this morning he asked me to marry him, and I know it's wrong, but I do love him and I said yes and now we might plans for a double wedding with a Minotaur and a unicorn, but then we heard about Aliens, so I rushed him here to get the Tardis in case it was in harms way."

Celestia took all that in and says "Wow, You've been busy."

"I know."

"I can't say I approve of your dishonesty."

"I know." She puts her head down in shame.

"But..." Celestia says with a smirk that Discord would be proud of, "I do believe that settling down, for awhile at least, would be good for him."

"Huh?"

"Well he is rambunctious, and he has gotten on my nerves over the last thousand years just as many times as he has helped, so I think he needs a bit of a vacation, and by Vacation, I mean getting hitched."

"Oh, when you say it like that, it sounds kinda mean."

"No it's not."

"I never thought of it like that...OK then."

"I'll bring back his memory eventually, but until then, have fun." She turns back to "Time Turner", "Sorry about that Turner, I know you hate that Nickname, I'll send you back now."

Celestia uses a teleport spell to transports "Time Turner", Derpy and the TARDIS back to Ponyville.

Then one of Celestia's guards walks up. "Not to sound rude Princess, but that was kinda messed up."

"I still haven't forgiven him for the Cake shortage 200 years ago, this is payback."

Guard rolls his eyes, "Whatever you say ma'am."

Back in Ponyville

"So My nickname is the Doctor?" "Time Turner asks.

"Eeyup." Derpy responds.

Meanwhile at the *insert term for Mental Hospital here*

In the Nut House, Blueblood and the others receive medication.
Blueblood: What are these?
Disco Dance: Chewy bits of oats and cheerios!
Zant: Oh they're wonderful, they make all your 37 split personalities shut up for a few minutes.
Blueblood: I refuse to take these then, I'M NOT INSANE!!!
The nurses force him to swallow the pills and almost instantly his eyes dilate and he starts whistling a happy tune.
He then listens to Zant ranting for over an hour and being mesmorized by what he says
Zant: My Kidney's talk to me, one of them speaks Spanish
Blueblood: Amazing!
Zant: And there are leprechauns in my nostrils, but they don't say anything. I'm on to them, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE DAMNIT!!!
Blueblood: Fascinating (Drugged Smile on his face)
Zant: Would you like to here about the time I took a dark god's power and conquered an entire kingdom?
Blueblood: Yes, please.

Prince Blueblood and the others are given some medication.

"What are these?" Blueblood asks.

"Chewy bits of oats and cheerios!" Disco Dance shouts.

"Oh they're wonderful, they make all your 37 split personalities shut up for a few minutes." Zant answers.

"I refuse to take these then, I'M NOT INSANE!!!" Blueblood shouts, but a nurse forces him to swallow the pills and almost instantly his eyes dilate and he starts whistling a happy tune

He then listens to Zant ranting for over an hour and being mesmorized by what he says, "My Kidney's talk to me, one of them speaks Spanish."

"Amazing!" Blueblood said with a drugged out smile on his face.

"And there are leprechauns in my nostrils, but they don't say anything. I'm on to them, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE DAMNIT!!!"

"Fascinating."

"Would you like to here about the time I took a dark god's power and conquered an entire kingdom?"

"Yes, please."

All Hail the Lord and Savior Prince Blueblood (19)

The Ultimate Warrior and Snowflame break the hug, now considering themselves friends. Luna takes this moment to get to the bottom of things.
Luna: OK, hold on, there are still a few questions that need to be answered here.
Snowflame: Huh? Like what? Usually when the ponies give the friendship speech then hug, a letter gets written to your sister and the episode ends.
Luna: What?...Nevermind, You, Mr. Warrior, you mentioned gods that would give you power, who were they?
Warrior: I don't know.
Luna: Ok, what did they look like?
Warrior: I don't know.
Luna: What do you mean you don't know? You were sent here by them to defeat Snowflame right?
Warrior: Yes
Luna: So you must have seen their forms right?
Warrior: No, all I know is that he heard their salty tongues in his brain, and then I appeared in front of a black gate inside of a black hole where they spoke to me! They filled the spaceship with the rocket fuel, loaded it with the words, and sent me here!
Snowflame: Snowflame has been in that position plenty of times, you can't snort a truckload of Cocaine in one sitting no matter how much you want to, believe me, Snowflame knows, you will see funny things.
Warrior: I do not partake in the womb of the coca plant, rather I get my stimulant from the almighty power of Destrucity.
Snowflame: Agree to disagree (Shrugs)
Luna: So what you're telling me is that you heard voices in your head, you appeared before a black gate somewhere, these voices told you to kill Snowflame then sent you here in that craft? And you didn't once think to ask who they were or why they wanted you to do this?
Warrior: That sounds about right, and no, they promised me the power to defeat Hoke Hogan! Why would I refuse?
Luna facehooves and Snowflame shrugs.
Snowflame: Eh, sometimes you just have to listen to mysterious voices in your head, otherwise they get mad.
Luna: Alright, but we are going to get to the bottom of this once you two wake up. Do you promise not to fight each other when I revive you.
Warrior: I swear upon the scissors that I need but don't have at the moment.
Snowflame: Snowflame does, cross Snowflame's heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in Snowflame's eye.
Warrior: What the hell was that?
Snowflame: It means Snowflame is serious, otherwise the Pink Pony will hunt Snowflame down with righteous fury.
Warrior: Oh... what Icy Hot said
Luna rolls her eyes and brings them back into the real world.

The Ultimate Warrior and Snowflame break the hug, now considering themselves friends.

Luna takes this moment to get try to the bottom of all this insanity. "Okay, hold on, there are still a few questions that need to be answered here."

"Huh? Like what? Usually when the ponies give the friendship speech then hug, a letter gets written to your sister and the episode ends. Roll Credits." Snolwflame says before even more music plays.

"What?...Nevermind, You, Mr. Warrior, you mentioned gods that would give you power, who were they?"

"I don't know!" The Ultimate Warrior says.

"Ok, what did they look like?"

"I don't know!"

"What do you mean you don't know? You were sent here by them to defeat Snowflame right?"

"Yes!"

"So you must have seen their forms right?"

"No, all I know is that he heard their salty tongues in his brain, and then I appeared in front of a black gate inside of a black hole where they spoke to me! They filled the spaceship with the rocket fuel, loaded it with the words, and sent me here!"

"Snowflame has been in that position plenty of times, you can't snort a truckload of Cocaine in one sitting no matter how much you want to, believe me, Snowflame knows, you will see funny things." Snowflame says.

"I do not partake in the womb of the coca plant, rather I get my stimulant from the almighty power of Destrucity!"

"Agree to disagree." Snowflame says with a Shrug.

"So what you're telling me is that you heard voices in your head, you appeared before a black gate somewhere, these voices told you to kill Snowflame then sent you here in that craft? And you didn't once think to ask who they were or why they wanted you to do this?" Luna asks.

"That sounds about right, and no, they promised me the power to defeat Hoke Hogan! Why would I refuse?" The Warrior asks.

Luna facehooves, while Snowflame shrugs and says, "Eh, sometimes you just have to listen to mysterious voices in your head, otherwise they get mad."

"Alright, but we are going to get to the bottom of this once you two wake up. Do you promise not to fight each other when I revive you?" The Princess of the Night asks.

"I swear upon the scissors that I need but don't have at the moment!" The Warrior exclaims.

"Snowflame does, cross Snowflame's heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in Snowflame's eye." Snowflame says doing the famous mothions that go with the chant.

"What the hell was that?" The Warrior asks.

"It means Snowflame is serious, otherwise the Pink Pony will hunt Snowflame down with righteous fury."

"Oh... what Icy Hot said!"

Luna rolls her eyes and uses her magic to awaken the two.

In the Real World
Luna: Sister? Where are you?
Celestia enters from the gardens and sees Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior sitting up.
Celestia: Oh good they're awake, what did you find out?
Luna: I'm not too sure, but it seems an entity claiming to be a god wants Snowflame terminated and sent this "Ultimate Warrior" to carry out the deed.
Celestia: That is troubling, he had to face an assassin only yesterday, but this Warrior seems on par with Snowflame's powers. Have you restrained them
Luna: It is not necessary, they became friends somehow in their shared dreamscape, so they will not be a problem.
Celestia: (Shocked) Really? I didn't see that one coming. But still, I would like to speak to this other human
They both turn around, and Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior are gone.
Celestia: What was that about not needing to restrain them?
Luna: Shut up!

The two humans eyes open at the same time and they sit up.

Luna sees this, turns around and says. "Sister? Where are you?"

Seemingly on command Celestia enters from the gardens and sees Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior sitting up. "Oh good they're awake, what did you find out?"

"I'm not too sure, but it seems an entity claiming to be a god wants Snowflame terminated and sent this "Ultimate Warrior" to carry out the deed." Luna explains.

"That is troubling, he had to face an assassin only yesterday, but this Warrior seems on par with Snowflame's powers. Have you restrained them?"

"It is not necessary, they became friends somehow in their shared dreamscape, so they will not be a problem."

"Really? I didn't see that one coming.", Celestia says in shock, "But still, I would like to speak to this other human."

They both turn around to see that there was no trace of ether Snowflame or The Ultimate Warrior.

"What was that about not needing to restrain them?" Celestia asked.

"Shut up and go make out with Discord!" Luna shouts, making Celestia blush.

Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior are walking back to Discord's Room
Snowflame: Snowflame can't wait to show you all the ponies, there's the cowboy one, the rainbow one, the nerdy one, the shy one, the high and mighty one, and Snowflame's favorite, the Pink one. But first we have to get to Q and find out who tried to have Snowflame killed.
Warrior: (Excited) I can't wait, and I tried to have you killed.
Snowflame: No, the other assassin that tried to kill Snowflame was hired by someone here, I was going to ask Star Trek guy to help before you showed up.
Warrior: I am sorry my new and only friend, in penance, I shall help you find this pony and we will rip him harder than X-Pac's anus!
Snowflame: Yay! and Ewww

They literally walk into the Mane 6 trying to get away from Carrot Top and Raining Frogs and they all end up in a pile. The Ultimate Warrior has Rainbow Dash on his chest and Pinkie Pie is on Snowflame's back smearing him with chocolate still on her fur.
Warrior: This one is soft and cuddly, has a pretty dress and is the color of rainbows, this pleases the Ultimate Warrior. (Hugs Dash Hard)
Rainbow Dash: What? (Get's squeezed and can't breathe)
Warrior: The Warrior will name you Skittles
Dash can't retaliate since she is in a big hug, but a disgusted look comes on her face as Pinkie, Snowflame and Discord (Who takes a picture with a camera) laugh
The others are too shocked at the other human's presence to join in.

Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior try to make their way to Discord's Room

"Snowflame can't wait to show you all the ponies, there's the cowboy one, the rainbow one, the nerdy one, the shy one, the high and mighty one, and Snowflame's favorite, the Pink one. But first we have to get to Q and find out who tried to have Snowflame killed." Snowflame said.

"I can't wait, and I tried to have you killed!" The Warrior said excitedly.

"No, the other assassin that tried to kill Snowflame was hired by someone here, I was going to ask Star Trek guy to help before you showed up."

"I am sorry my new and only friend, in penance, I shall help you find this pony and we will rip him harder than X-Pac's anus!"

"Yay! and Ewww."

That's when the wielders of the Elements of Harmony, who were trying to get away from some frogs falling from the ceiling and what looked like the comedian Carrot Top, literally ran right into the two humans and they all end up in a pile. The Ultimate Warrior has Rainbow Dash on his chest and Pinkie Pie is on Snowflame's back smearing him with chocolate still on her fur.

"This one is soft and cuddly, has a pretty dress and is the color of rainbows, this pleases the Ultimate Warrior." The Warrior says hugging Rainbow Dash hard.

Rainbow Dash is only able to say, "What?" before she get's squeezed.

"The Warrior will name you Skittles." Dash can't retaliate since she is in a big hug, but a disgusted look comes on her face as Pinkie, Snowflame and Discord, who's now in his regular form and he takes a picture with a camera, all laugh at Dash's expense. The others are too shocked at the other human's presence to join in.

In The Black Hole...

In the Black Hole
Voice 1: The Ultimate Warrior failed to kill Snowflame, I told you he was unworthy.
Voice 2: Hey the Warrior was the only corruptible Wrestler I could get my hands on, I didn't see you coming up with any better alternatives
Voice 3: He also seems to have allied himself with the cocaine disciple, I didn't think anything could detract him from his vengeance upon Hogan, but it seems that the Friendship Magic has invaded his black heart
Voice 1: This complicates our plans for Equestria, if those two stand against us, everything will not run as smoothly.
Voice 4: Then we have to step it up a notch, find someone who cannot and will not submit to friendship. Someone who can defeated those spandex wearing fools.
Voices 1-3: Yes My Lord.
Voice 4: Equestria will fall, it's only a matter of time.

"The Ultimate Warrior failed to kill Snowflame, see I told you he was unworthy. Looks like someone owe me five bucks." A almost cheerful sound voice said.

"Hey the Warrior was the only muckle darned corruptible Wrestler I could get me hands on, I don't see you be coming up with anything." another voice, this one having a thick scottish accent, said.

"He also seems to have allied himself with the cocaine disciple, I didn't think anything could detract him from his vengeance upon Hogan, but it seems that the Friendship Magic has invaded his black heart. This complicates our plans for Equestria, if those two stand against us, everything will not run as smoothly." A third voice, this one sounding angry said.

"Then we have to step it up a notch, find someone who cannot and will not submit to friendship. Someone who can defeated those spandex wearing fools. Then we can complete the job we were chosen for. Equestria will fall, it's only a matter of time." A fourth voice, this one sounding very deep, a little too deep to be natural.

"Well why don't we go down there now?" The first voice asked.

"We don't need to get our hands dirty yet. So let's just stick to my plan."

"Okay so what your saying is that we need to find the biggest douchebag in Equestria."

Meanwhile in the Coo Coo's Nest/

Blueblood:
Find out that Zant, for all intents and purposes, despite being criminally insane, is in fact a powerful magic user.... really powerful..... REALLY powerful.... So powerful that in his previous encounter with the hapless hero where he actually fought him the battle not only lasted for three seconds and not only did he beat him in what was an incredibly one sided victory, but he was able to do all of that without having to physically move.
Maybe he could be useful in your revenge against Snowflame (especially now that the Ultimate Warrior is in the picture).
But first things first.
Start forming and escape plan. You need to get out of here, and maybe Zant can help you somehow.
How to get Zant to follow you:
Show him a bit of magic and convince him you're a god (should be easy), he'll do whatever you say afterwards.

Back at the Nut House, Zant finishes his tale of his conquest. Blueblood is still drugged, but can see through the fog somewhat
Zant: and then Midna blew me up and I ended up here.
Blueblood: That's...Unbelievable.
Zant: Yes I know, now that I think about it I don't know why that god Ganon didn't protect me from that
Blueblood: Maybe he was busy? (He uses his magic to take a sip of water)
Zant flips out at seeing that little bit of magic.
Zant: Oh My Celestia! You Can Do Magic?
Blueblood: Of course, I'm a Unicorn, just like you
Zant feels the top of his head, seemingly just noticing that he has a horn. He uses it to knock out Drum Circle
Zant: Oh My Celestia, you are a god aren't you?
Blueblood: What? I...
Zant: You can do magic and you turned me into a unicorn! What is your bidding my lord?
Blueblood: (Blueblood's rational side fights through the fog slightly) Ummm, get us out of here?
Zant: As you wish my god.
Zant blasts a hole in the side of the building setting off alarms and making Blueblood's jaw drop. Zant slings Blueblood over his back.
Zant: Joey, get your loafers on, we're going for taco salads baby!
Disco Dance (Joey): QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM! QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM!!!
Screwloose: Bark Bark Bark
Zant: Fluffy, I'll meet you at mom's around dinner time, make sure no one follows you.
Fluffy:...
Zant: Yes Yes, I love you too, now go!
Zant runs out with Blueblood on his back, while Screwloose and Disco Dance follow.
Drum Circle sits up and sees the destruction.
Drum Circle: Oh Not Again :applejackunsure:

Zant finishes his tale of his conquest, while Blueblood starts see through the fog somewhat. "and then Midna blew me up and I ended up here."

"That's...Unbelievable." Blueblood says.

"Yes I know, now that I think about it I don't know why that god Ganon didn't protect me from that."

"Maybe he was busy?" Blueblood suggest as he uses his magic to pick up a glass and takes a sip of water.

Zant sees the little bit of magic and flips out, "Oh My Ganon! You Can Do Magic?!"

"Of course, I'm a Unicorn, just like you."

Zant feels the top of his head, seemingly just noticing that he has a horn. He then decides to test it up by grabbing the now empty glass from Blueblood, and he chucks it at Drum Circle, who falls to the ground after it smashes against his head. "Oh My Ganon, you are a god aren't you?"

"What? I..."

"You can do magic and you turned me into a unicorn! What is your bidding my lord?"

Blueblood thinks for a second of this whole situation, but a smile comes across his face once he realizes ho he can take advantage of this. "Ummm, get us out of here?"

"As you wish my god." Zant then blasts a hole in the side of the building setting off alarms and making Blueblood's jaw drop. Zant slings Blueblood over his back. "Joey, get your loafers on, we're going for taco salads baby!"

"QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM! QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM!!!" Dicso Dance shouts.

Screwloose barks three times.

"Fluffy, I'll meet you at mom's around dinner time, make sure no one follows you." Zant says to some thin air right next to the knocked out Drum Circle. "Yes Yes, I love you too, now go!" Zant then runs out with Blueblood on his back, while Screwloose and Disco Dance follow.

Drum Circle wakes up and sees the destruction. "Aww man... I am so getting fired."

Author's Note

Sorry about yesterday, something went wrong and a good chunk of what I wrote disappeared after I published the chapter, and for whatever reason the site wouldn't let me unpublish it.

Oh, and to let you guys know, I already have plans on the identities of those four voices, so no suggestions on who they are, but feel free to guess, and props to anyone who's actually right. :pinkiehappy:

A Super Villain, A Wrestler, and A Draconequus Walk into a Library (20)

A Super Villain, A Wrestler, and A Draconequus Walk into a Library (20)

Snowflame, Pinkie, and Discord are still laughing at Rainbow Dash being hugged so roughly, but she's had enough.
Dash: (Gasping for air) Let...me...go!
Warrior: OK Skittles!
He lets her go and she falls to the floor breathing hard
The Warrior looks at the other ponies and smiles, he sees Pinkie Pie laughing on Snowflame's back.
Warrior: The Pink one looks fluffy and I like it's laughing, let me have it.
Snowflame gets a serious look on his face and pulls Pinkie into a protective hug
Snowflame: NO, the Pink one is Snowflame's favorite, you stick with the Rainbow one like all the marketing!
Pinkie: Snowfy, that's not very nice, I'm friends with everypony
Warrior: Fine, you keep the cotton candy, I'll stick with the Skittles
He tries to grab Dash again, but she runs and hides behind the rest of the girls
Applejack: Alright, enough of this nonsense, who in tarnation are ya?
Twilight: (Taking up defensive position with her horn) Yes, and why are you here?
Warrior: I am the Ultimate Warrior you colorful hooved mammals, AND I WILL BE THE HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION THIS NEXT WRESTLEMANIA!!!! *SKRONK*
Rarity is disgusted by the Skronk and the others are all confused, so they look to Snowflame
Snowflame: (Wraps his arm around the Warrior) Main Characters, this is Snowflame's new friend The Ultimate Warrior!
Twilight: Friend? But I thought you two just viciously fought each other? You wrecked downtown Canterlot
Warrior: We did, I tried to kill this Icy Hot Crack Head
Snowflame: Cocaine! Not Crack! They're two separate things!
Warrior: Whatever!
Twilight: Snowflame, how can you say he's your friend, he just said he tried to kill you?
Snowflame: So? John De Lancie tried to kill you, now you're all buddies
Twilight: Who is...
Discord: I never tried to kill them, I only tried to destroy their defining characteristics to plunge the land into chaos!
Snowflame: Ya, that, and look, he's fine, and so is the Warrior here
Warrior: Yes! Friendship is Magic! But is all Magic Friendship? That is the Ultimate Question!
Pinkie: Seems fine to me (She rushes up and hugs the Warrior)
Twilight: But...He...
Snowflame: Sorry to cut you off nerdy one, but we have business to attend to.
Warrior: Yes, we need to talk to you (He points at Discord) you son of a motherless goat!
Discord: Well that's just rude to goats, but lets go somewhere private (He snaps his fingers and they teleport)
Twilight: Wait, I... (Uggghhhhh)
Applejack: Well that sure was strange
Rarity: And did you see what he was wearing? Honestly, what is up with these humans and their affinity for spandex and face paint?
Pinkie: Well I liked him, Right Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Well, um...
Pinkie: Exactly :pinkiehappy:
Dash: Well I think he was stupid!
Pinkie: Oh come on Dashie, he was just showing his affection
Dash: Whatever!
Luna and Celestia come across the Mane 6
Celestia: Girls, have you seen Snowflame and the Other Human?
Luna: They wandered off before we could speak with them
Twilight: They just disappeared with Discord
Celestia/Luna: Mother of Me!

Snowflame, Pinkie, and Discord are still laughing at Rainbow Dash being hugged so roughly, but she's had enough.

"Let...me...go!" Rainbow Dash was finally able to shout.

"OK Skittles!" The Warrior says letting the Cyan pegasus, and she falls to the floor breathing hard. The Warrior looks at the other ponies and smiles, he sees Pinkie Pie laughing on Snowflame's back. "The Pink one looks fluffy and I like it's laughing, let me have it."

Snowflame gets a serious look on his face and pulls Pinkie into a protective hug "NO, the Pink one is Snowflame's favorite, you stick with the Rainbow one like all the marketing!"

"Snowfy, that's not very nice, I'm friends with everypony. Besides Dashie is Kenny's favorite and you don't see him being all defensive about it."

Meanwhile in an Alternate Universe, somewhere in Connecticut...

DON'T CALL ME KENNY!

"Fine, you keep the cotton candy, I'll stick with the Skittles." The Warrior says. He tries to grab Dash again, but she flies away and hides behind the rest of the girls.

"Alright, enough of this nonsense, who in tarnation are ya?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, and why are you here?" Twilight says, taking up defensive position with her horn.

"I am the Ultimate Warrior you colorful hooved mammals, AND I WILL BE THE HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION THIS NEXT WRESTLEMANIA!!!! *SKRONK*" The Ultimate Warrior shouts.

Rarity is disgusted by the Skronk and the others are all confused, so they look to Snowflame

Snowflame wraps his arm around the Warrior and says, "Main Characters, this is Snowflame's new friend The Ultimate Warrior!"

"Friend? But I thought you two just viciously fought each other? You wrecked downtown Canterlot." Twilight points out.

"We did, I tried to kill this Icy Hot Crack Head." The Warrior says.

"Cocaine! Not Crack! They're two separate things!" Snowflame shouts, sounding offended.

"Whatever!"

"Snowflame, how can you say he's your friend, he just said he tried to kill you?" Twilight asks.

"So? John De Lancie tried to kill you, now you're all buddies." Snowflame points out.

"Who is..."

"I never tried to kill them, I only tried to destroy their defining characteristics to plunge the land into chaos!" Discord says in deference.

"Ya, that, and look, he's fine, and so is the Warrior here." Snowflame says.

"Yes! Friendship is Magic! But is all Magic Friendship? That is the Ultimate Question!" The Warrior stats.

"Seems fine to me." Pinkie says rushing up and hugging the Warrior.

"But...He..." Twilight begins to say.

"Sorry to cut you off nerdy one, but we have business to attend to." Snowflame interrupts.

"Yes, we need to talk to you!" The Warrior says as he points at Discord, "You son of a motherless goat!"

"Well that's just rude to goats, but lets go somewhere private." Discord says snapping his fingers and with a flash of light he and the two humans were gone.

"Wait, I... Uggghhhhh" Twilight says in frustration.

"Well that sure was strange." Applejack states.

"And did you see what he was wearing? Honestly, what is up with these humans and their affinity for spandex and face paint?" Rarity asks.

"Well I liked him, Right Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked the yellow pegasus.

"Well, um..." Fluttershy begins to say.

"Exactly!"

"Well I think he was stupid!" Rainbow Dash mumbles.

"Oh come on Dashie, he was just showing his affection."

"Whatever!"

Right then Princess Celestia and Princess Luna come across the six mares.

"Girls, have you seen Snowflame and the Other Human?" Celestia asked.

"They wandered off before we could speak with them." Luna adds.

"They just disappeared with Discord." Twilight tells them.

Both Celestia and Luna's eyes widen and they simultaneously mutter, "Mother of Me."

Back in Ponyville, at Golden Oaks Library...

At the Library in Ponyville
Discord, Snowflame and the Warrior teleport in and startle Spike into falling off the ladder
Discord: Ah, there we go, nice and quiet...And I can get on the egghead's nerves. Snaps his fingers and all the books fall off the shelf, burying Spike
Spike: Oh Come On!
They don't seem to hear Spike and continue on with conversation
Discord: Now, what do you need my delightfully chaotic gentleman? And are you going to apologize for ramming your ship into my head?
Warrior: NO!!!
Snowflame: We came because we are looking for the pony who hired the first clawed assassin that tried to kill Snowflame. Sun Butt said you could help.
Discord: So wait, there was another killer sent from Canterlot before Braveheart showed up?
Warrior: That is what my brother from another mother is telling you!
Discord: Well why don't you ask the assassin if you haven't killed him already?
Snowflame: Snowflame did, all he said was that the pony was hooded and had money.
Discord: I see. Well I suppose I could ask around the seedy underbelly of the city in disguise, I do still owe you for introducing me to the majesty of Cociane.
Snowflame: AWESOME SAUCE!!!
Discord: Now what about your new friend here? Who sent him?
Warrior: The gods beyond the black gate, the ones with mysterious mystifying voices that promise your every desire
Discord: Okaaay....I'll look into that as well. I'll start in on it tomorrow, I may or may not be getting Immortal tail tonight, so I'm gonna focus my cards on that for the time being.
Snowflame: Snowflame understands, Pimpin ain't easy, wonder what we should do in the meantime though?
Spike finally gets out from under the books, and looks mad until he sees the three figures
Spike: Ummm, What are you guys doing here?
The Warrior sees Spike and gets excited
Warrior: Do my own eyes deceive me, or is this the chubby offspring of the dinosaurs with wings and fire?
Spike: Hey, I'm not chubby!
Snowflame: This is the only male main character in this place, he's Spyro the Dragon
Spike: It's Spike.
Warrior: This is amazing, Dragons exist in this realm. The Warrior wishes to slay one right now!
Snowflame: Snowflame thinks that's a great Idea, Why didn't Snowflame think of it earlier? And Snowflame knows exactly which one.
(He Looks at Spike and Points) YOU!!!
Spike: (Backs up nervously) Y...Yes?
Snowflame: Remember when you ran away because the owl was outshining you and that green dragon tried to eat you and the purple pony?
Spike: Y...Yeah? How do you know that?
Snowflame: Well you know where he is and we will kill him and take his treasure!
Warrior: The scaly behemoth of flame will feel the power of our combined might, and our bond will be strengthened like Chinese finger traps.
Spike: B..But I can't go back out there, it's almost dark out and I don't want to get eaten.
Snowflame: Do not worry, Snowflame knows just the thing (Looks at Discord) Next Generation, turn him into a badass like us and make him 8 feet tall and have a chainsaw!
Discord: Alright sounds fun
Snaps fingers and Spike Painfully grows as tall as Discord, but he is ripped like Snowflame and the Warrior with sharp Spines on his back with an awesome chin and wings
Spike looks down at his new form and Chainsaw
Spike: Groovy (In Bruce Campbell's voice) Let's see Rarity Deny this!
Snowflame: Now you are awesome, you must take your revenge to become a man though so let's go kill Alduin!
Warrior/Spike: YEAH!!!
They rush out and leave Discord behind who wonders whether he should go help and have fun or try to get laid.

Discord, Snowflame and the Warrior teleport in and startle a nearby Spike, who falls off the bookshelf ladder.

"Ah, there we go, nice and quiet...And I can get on the egghead's nerves." Discord says. He then snaps his fingers and all the books fall off the shelf, burying Spike in an avalanche of literature.

"Oh Come On!" The baby dragon shouts under the pile of books.

The three don't seem to hear Spike and continue on with conversation.

"Now, what do you need my delightfully chaotic gentleman? And are you going to apologize for ramming your ship into my head?"

"NO!!!" The Warrior shouts.

"We came because we are looking for the pony who hired the first clawed assassin that tried to kill Snowflame. Sun Butt said you could help." Snowflame explains.

"So wait, there was another killer sent from Canterlot before Braveheart showed up?" Discord asks.

"That is what my brother from another mother is telling you!" The Warrior says.

"Well why don't you ask the assassin if you haven't killed him already?"

"Snowflame did, all he said was that the pony was hooded and had money." Snowflame tells Discord.

"I see. Well I suppose I could ask around the seedy underbelly of the city in disguise, I do still owe you for introducing me to the majesty of Cociane."

"AWESOME SAUCE!!!"

"Now what about your new friend here? Who sent him?"

"The gods beyond the black gate, the ones with mysterious mystifying voices that promise your every desire." The Warrior says.

"Okaaay....I'll look into that as well. I'll start in on it tomorrow, I may or may not be getting Immortal tail tonight, so I'm gonna focus my cards on that for the time being."

"Snowflame understands, Pimpin ain't easy, wonder what we should do in the meantime though?" Snowflame says.

Spike finally digs his way out from under the books, and looks mad until he sees the three figures, "Ummm, What are you guys doing here?"

The Warrior sees Spike and gets excited, "Do my own eyes deceive me, or is this the chubby offspring of the dinosaurs with wings and fire?"

"Hey, I'm not chubby!"

"This is the only male main character in this place, he's like Spyro the Dragon, except he's more likely to be screwed over by Hasbro instead of Activision." Snowflame says.

"This is amazing, Dragons exist in this realm. The Warrior wishes to slay one right now!" The Warrior exclaims.

"Snowflame thinks that's a great Idea, Why didn't Snowflame think of it earlier? And Snowflame knows exactly which one." Snowflame looks at Spike and points, "YOU!!!"

Spike backs up nervously and mutters, "Y...Yes?"

"Remember when you ran away because the owl was outshining you and that green dragon tried to eat you and the purple pony?"

"Y...Yeah? How do you know that?"

"Snowflame watched the show. Snowflame assumes that you know where he is and we will kill him and take his treasure!"

"The scaly behemoth of flame will feel the power of our combined might, and our bond will be strengthened like Chinese finger traps!" The Warrior shouts.

"B..But I can't go back out there, it's almost dark out and I don't want to get eaten." Spike said sound scared.

"Do not worry, Snowflame knows just the thing. Snowflame says before he looks at Discord, "Next Generation, turn him into a badass like us and make him 8 feet tall and have a chainsaw!"

Discord smiles at the thought, "Alright sounds fun.", he snaps fingers and with a puff of purple smoke he becomes as tall as Discord, but he is ripped like Snowflame and the Warrior with sharp Spines on his back with an awesome chin and wings.

Spike looks down at his new form and Chainsaw and says, "Groovy." in a voice similar to Bruce Campbell's, "Let's see Rarity Deny this!"

"Now you are awesome, you must take your revenge to become a man though so let's go kill Alduin!" Snowflame shouts.

"YEAH!!!" Both Warrior and Spike shouts.

The two humans and dragon rush out and leave Discord behind.

"Hmmm... should I go help and have fun or try to get laid?" Discord askd himself.

Meanwhile...

Running away from the Mental Institution
Blueblood is still speechless at the display of Zant's power and laying on Zant's back as he and the other two race through the evening into Canterlot
At one point, Screwloose holds them up as she sniffs around a corner and smells two guards.
They then arrive at a giant house and this finally gets Blueblood to speak
Blueblood: This is your home?
Zant: I know, isn't it lovely, you should see my giant chair my lord
Blueblood: It's bigger than my mansion
Zant: Well being the king of the Twilight Realm has it's perks, oh hello Fluffy, glad to see you made it here in one piece. Did you tell mom we're back?
Fluffy:...
Zant: Excellent
Blueblood: Well we should get inside before somepony sees us
Disco Dance: PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!
Zant: Yes Joey, surely mom has set out the Pizza bites for us
They enter and a maid confronts him
Maid: Why you here? Mr. Fancy Pants no here right now
Blueblood: Fancy Pants?
Maid: Yes, he no here, he go to Prance, you go now!
Blueblood: You said this was your place Zant
Zant: Oh way to go Fluffy, you didn't tell the help we'd be coming home
Fluffy:...
Zant: Great, now we have to start taking hostages
Blueblood: Wait, What?
Zant knocks out the maid and uses curtain ropes to tie her up
Zant: Joey I need you to check the kitchen and bring anyone you find to the living room, and Don't you Dare Eat the Pizza Bites Without Us!
Disco Dance: I GOTCHA, I GOTCHA!
He runs off where screaming and dropping pans can be heard along with his laughter.
Zant: Screwloose, be a dear and herd anyone upstairs down here please
Screwloose: Bark, Bark
She runs upstairs where her snarling and frightened screams of others can be heard.
Zant: Although I do wish Fluffy had given them forewarning, this game is always fun to play.
He hands Blueblood a knife
Zant: Here you go my lord, I leave her life in your hooves, just hold it against her kneck till the others come, I'll go check the laundry room
Blueblood is speechless again with his knife against the unconscious maid
Blueblood thinks: "How do I keep getting into these situations?"

While running away from the Mental Institution Blueblood is still speechless at the display of Zant's power and laying on Zant's back as he and the other two race through the evening into Canterlot. They then arrive at a giant house and this finally gets Blueblood to speak "This is your home?"

"I know, isn't it lovely, you should see my giant chair my lord." Zant says.

"It's bigger than my mansion."

"Well being the king of the Twilight Realm has it's perks, oh hello Fluffy, glad to see you made it here in one piece. Did you tell mom we're back?", there is pure silence, "Excellent."

"Well we should get inside before somepony sees us."

"PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!" Disco Dance shouts.

"Yes Joey, surely mom has set out the Pizza bites for us." Zant says.

They knock on the door and a female donkey wearing a white apron opens it, "Mr. Fancy Pants no here right now."

"Fancy Pants?" Blueblood asks in confusion.

"Yes, he no here, he go to Prance, you go now!"

"You said this was your place Zant."

"Oh way to go Fluffy, you didn't tell the help we'd be coming home." Zant says to the thin air next to him. "Great, now we have to start taking hostages"

"Wait, What?"

Zant punches the maid in the face, which knocks her out and he grabs some close by curtain ropes and uses them to tie her up. "Joey I need you to check the kitchen and bring anyone you find to the living room, and Don't you Dare Eat the Pizza Bites Without Us!"

"I GOTCHA, I GOTCHA!" Disco Dance shouts." He runs off and not soon after screaming and dropping pans can be heard along with his laughter.

"Screwloose, be a dear and herd anyone upstairs down here please."

Screwloose barks in response before she runs upstairs where her snarling and frightened screams of others can be heard.

"Although I do wish Fluffy had given them forewarning, this game is always fun to play." He then hooves over a knife he seemed to get from nowhere over to Blueblood. "Here you go my lord, I leave her life in your hooves, just hold it against her neck till the others come, I'll go check the laundry room." Zant then runs off leaving a speechless Prince Blueblood.

'How do I keep getting into these situations?'

A Bunch of Wild Timberwolves Appear (21)

Discord is still contemplating. He decides to find out what his chances for getting laid are so he quickly teleports to Canterlot.
At Canterlot Castle
Twilight: He said that he and the Ultimate Warrior were friends and that they had to talk to Discord about something, and they disappeared.
Celestia: I hope all they are doing is talking, but with Discord, who knows
Discord teleports in
Celestia: Discord! Where is Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior?
Discord: Oh they’re just out with Spike on a grand adventure of revenge in the Everfree Forest
Celestia: What?
Discord: Which is why I’m here, Tia is there any chance of you being open to debauchery tonight? Or do I have to buy you dinner first?
Celestia: Wh..Wh..WHAT?!!! (Angrily)
Discord: Oh I see, it’s that time of the month. Get off my back woman, I’m just trying to have fun with my friends, jeez (Snaps his fingers and disappears)
Celestia is blushing furiously and Twilight and Rarity look extremely worried.
Twilight: They’re getting revenge with Spike?
Rarity: In the Everfree Forest! Oh No! Girls, we have to go save him.
Pinkie: But he’s with Snowfy and Mr. Warrior, they’re tougher than any monster out there
Rarity: Which is why we must get him back, he could get hurt hanging around those two
Twilight: They better not let him get hurt if they know what’s good for them (Angrily)
Rarity: we have to get back to Ponyville ASAP
Applejack: Wait, why don’t we just have the Princess teleport us?
Twilight: Good Idea, Princess Celestia?
Celestia:….(Staring at where Discord was angrily)
Twilight: Princess Celestia?
Celestia:….
Twilight: Ummm….
Celestia: Diiiiiiiiisssssssscccccccoooooooorrrrrrdddddd!!!!! (Hissing)
Luna: I believe my sister is what you call in the modern tongue ‘Extremely Pissed Off” right now, I don’t believe it is wise to ask her for help.
Rarity: Well what about you?
Luna: Sorry, too busy raising the moon, but here (Floating Bag of Bits) this should cover train fare.
Twilight: (Sigh) Back to the train girls
Rarity: Yes and hurry, who knows how horrified poor Spike is right now!

Discord eventally decides to find out what his chances for getting laid are so he quickly teleports to Canterlot.

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle...

"He said that he and the Ultimate Warrior were friends and that they had to talk to Discord about something, and they disappeared." Twilight told the Sun Princess.

"I hope all they are doing is talking, but with Discord, who knows." Celestia says right as Discord teleports in, "Discord! Where is Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior?"

"Oh they’re just out with Spike on a grand adventure of revenge in the Everfree Forest." Discord says.

"What?"

"Which is why I’m here, Tia is there any chance of you being open to debauchery tonight? Or do I have to buy you dinner first?"

"Wh..Wh..WHAT?!!!" Celestia shouts angrily.

"Oh I see, it’s that time of the month. Get off my back woman, I’m just trying to have fun with my friends, jeez.", he then snaps his fingers and disappears.

Celestia is blushing furiously while Twilight and Rarity both look extremely worried.

"They’re getting revenge with Spike?" Twilight asked confused.

"In the Everfree Forest! Oh No! Girls, we have to go save him!" Rarity exclaims

"But he’s with Snowfy and Mr. Warrior, they’re tougher than any monster out there." Pinkie says.

"Which is why we must get him back, he could get hurt hanging around those two."

"They better not let him get hurt if they know what’s good for them.", Twilight says angrily.

"We have to get back to Ponyville ASAP."

"Wait, why don’t we just have the Princess teleport us?" Applejack asks.

"Good Idea, Princess Celestia?" Twilight asks, but Celestia is just taring at where Discord was angrily. "Princess Celestia?" Twilight asks again, but still no response, "Ummm…."

"Diiiiiiiiisssssssscccccccoooooooorrrrrrdddddd!!!!!" Celestia final hisses.

Luna walks up to the mares and says, "I believe my sister is what you call in the modern tongue ‘Extremely Pissed Off” right now, I don’t believe it is wise to ask her for help."

"Well what about you?" Rarity asks.

"Sorry, I'm a little too busy raising the moon, but here," She levitates over a bag of bits, "This should cover train fare."

Twilight sighs, "Back to the train girls."

"Yes and hurry, who knows how horrified poor Spike is right now!" Rarity exclaims.

Name: Rarity

Stats

Strength: 4

Speed: 3

Intelligence: 7

Dress Making: 10

Dramaticness: Cannot be Measured

Meanwhile in the Everfree Forest...

Running through the Everfree
Spike is using his new wings to fly
Spike: This…Is…AWESOME!!!
Warrior: You fly with the majesty of a monkey shot from a cannon at terminal velocity at an airplane windshield!
Spike: Um…Thanks?
Snowflame: Snowflame tried to fly like that once, Snowflame ended up smashing through the roof of a Semi. And that’s when Snowflame learned that Cocaine, 10 gallons of vodka, and a suspension bridge do not make a good combo!
Spike: I’ll take your word on it, by the way, I didn’t catch your friend’s name
Warrior: The Ultimate Warrior! You?
Spike: Spike
Warrior: Pleasure to meet you miniature Godzilla!
Discord appears floating besides them as they run
Snowflame: Oh Hai Abomination of Nature, Snowflame thought you were busy pimpin
Discord: I was, but the bitch be trippin, so I gotta hang with my peeps
Spike: You sound really dumb when you try to talk gangster
Snowflame/Warrior: Foshizzle!
Discord: Yeesh, everyone’s a critic. So how much further Spike?
Spike Stops in mid air looking around
Spike: Ummmm…I’m not too sure
Snowflame: How can you not know? You got there in the rain last time?
Spike: Hey look I’m sorry, I got excited because I look like a beast now and I can fly, and the adrenaline kind of took over and I got carried away.
Warrior: You have to foke yourself, once you are foked, you need to use your fokeness so that we can demolish Puff the magic dragon!
Discord: We’re running all the way to Honalee? I ain’t got time to frolic in the autumn mists.
Spike: Ya, about that, I’m having second thoughts
Snowflame: Do not puss out on Snowflame you son of a bitch! You’ve killed before!
Spike: I have?
Snowflame: Yes, you killed that Giant Timber Wolf by choking it to death when you were in your wimpy form, not even the farmer pony was able to kill it all the way. Snowflame was so proud when he saw you do that.
Spike: Oh yeah, that did feel pretty good, but still this is another dragon, isn’t that like murder if I do it?
Snowflame: No!!! It’s nature! He tries to eat you, you eat him back!!!
Warrior: That is how I got rid of Doink the Clown, because all clowns are man eaters from Space!
Spike: Are you two justifying cannibalism?
Snowflame: Yes! No! Maybe! The point is that dragon could’ve screwed this show up big time if he had eaten you or the purple pony, the Bronies demand his head!
Spike: Ya, You’re Right! Buck that green flankhole!...I’m not eating him though
Snowflame: Fair enough
The Ultimate Warrior begins sniffing the air like a bloodhound
Discord: What is it, what do you smell boy?
Warrior: (Sniff)…Pulpy…(Sniff)…Dogs…(Sniff)…Hooved African Mammal…(Sniff)…Danger
Discord: Timberwolves?
Snowflame: Rhyming Zebra?
Spike: Danger?
They put all the sentences together and realize
Spike: Oh Celestia! Zecora’s being attacked by Timberwolves!!! We have to save her!
Warrior: Awwww, But I wanted to kill a dragon.
Snowflame: We will, but these wolves will be like a mini boss.
Warrior: Alrighty then, onward into the magical swirling winds of death
Discord: Sounds fun to me, plus I’ve always wanted to see a zebra
The warrior leads the way while Spike and Discord fly and Snowflame runs behind him
They eventually get to a clearing where Zecora is in a tree surrounded by 50 Wolves.
Snowflame: ZUUULLLLLLL!!!!!
The wolves look at him
Snowflame: Snowflame is the Key Master!!! Zuul Mother Fuckers, Zuul!!!
Warrior: WHO YOU GONNA CALL?!!!
Spike: Ummmm…YA! What they Said!
The Wolves rush at them and the combatants attack. Snowflame shatters a few then uses his flames to burn others to ashes. Spike is going to town on a group with his chainsaw and is also using his fire breath and claws. The Ultimate Warrior Power Slams two into another, shattering them, then clotheslines one’s head clean off, and Discord…is just watching with a bag of popcorn and sitting next to Zecora in the tree.
Discord: Oh I wish these guys were around a few thousand years ago. I love this show. Popcorn? (He offers Popcorn to Zecora)
Zecora: What are you doing you strange creature, this is not a Friday night cinema feature!
Discord: Well Duh, Today is Saturday.
Zecora rolls her eyes.
The wolves don’t even get a chance to turn into a Mega Wolf because they splinter and burn the bodies.
Warrior: That was a satisfying appetizer to the main course, but I need the pepper, WHERE IS THE PEPPER?!!!
Spike: That felt amazing, WHO’S THE SMALL DEFENSELESS GUY NOW WORLD?!!! HUH?!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Snowflame: Snowflame agrees, but now Snowflame needs tweezers to get splinters out
Zecora and Discord teleport next to them.
Snowflame: Hi Rhyming Zebra, good thing we…
Zecora slaps him in the face angrily
Zecora: You blew up my home and my work, you careless incompetent jerk!!!
Snowflame: Oh yeah, Snowflame kinda forgot about that
Snowflame is tackled by the Zebra who rains down blows on him, but he lets her since Snowflame Feels No Pain and he kinda deserves it. While the others just watch laughing.

Spike is using his new wings to fly , "This…Is…AWESOME!!!" He shouts in his new Bruce Cambell-like voice.

"You fly with the majesty of a monkey shot from a cannon at terminal velocity at an airplane windshield!" The Warrior says.

"Um…Thanks? Though I'll admite that I'm doing pretty well for just getting these about ten minutes ago, I mean Twilight's had her wings for months now and she's still not good at flying. Though at night her wings spread out and she keeps mumbling about somepony named 'Flash Sentry', Yeah I have no Idea who that is."

One Week Ago in Twilight and Spike's bedroom...

Twilight laying down on her bed when she starts talking in her sleep, "Oh yes Flash, friend me. Friend me. Friend all over my face. Oh that's so friendly of you."

"I lose sleep sometimes." Spike adds.

"Snowflame tried to fly like that once, Snowflame ended up smashing through the roof of a Semi. And that’s when Snowflame learned that Cocaine, 10 gallons of vodka, and a suspension bridge do not make a good combo!" Snowflame says.

"I’ll take your word on it, by the way, I didn’t catch your friend’s name."

"I am The Ultimate Warrior! You?" The Warrior asked.

"Spike."

"Pleasure to meet you miniature Godzilla!"

That's when Discord appears floating besides them as they walk.

Snowflame sees him and says, "Oh Hai Abomination of Nature, Snowflame thought you were busy pimpin."

"I was, but the bitch be trippin, so I gotta hang with my peeps." Discord responds

"You sound really dumb when you try to talk gangster." Spike says, rolling his eyes.

"Foshizzle!" Snowflame and The Warrior exclaim.

"Yeesh, everyone’s a critic. So how much further Spike?" Discord asks.

Spike Stops in mid air to look around, "Ummmm…I’m not too sure."

"How can you not know? You got there in the rain last time?" Snowflame asks.

"Hey look I’m sorry, I got excited because I look like a beast now and I can fly, and the adrenaline kind of took over and I got carried away."

"You have to foke yourself, once you are foked, you need to use your fokeness so that we can demolish Puff the magic dragon!" The Warrior tells him.

"We’re running all the way to Honalee? I ain’t got time to frolic in the autumn mists." Discord says.

"Ya, about that, I’m having second thoughts." Spike says.

"Do not puss out on Snowflame you son of a bitch! You’ve killed before!" Snowflame points out.

"I have?"

"Yes, you killed that Giant Timber Wolf by choking it to death when you were in your wimpy form, not even the farmer pony was able to kill it all the way. Snowflame was so proud when he saw you do that."

"Oh yeah, that did feel pretty good, but still this is another dragon, isn’t that like murder if I do it?"

"No!!! It’s nature! He tries to eat you, you eat him back!!!"

"That is how I got rid of Doink the Clown, because all clowns are man eaters from Space!" The Ultimate Warrior says.

"Are you two justifying cannibalism?" Spike asks.

"Yes! No! Maybe! The point is that dragon could’ve screwed this show up big time if he had eaten you or the purple pony, the Bronies demand his head!" Snowflame tells him.

"Ya, You’re Right! Buck that green flankhole!...I’m not eating him though. And please don't tell Twilight I say that."

"Fair enough."

Then The Ultimate Warrior begins sniffing the air like a bloodhound.

"What is it, what do you smell boy?" Discord asks, sounding like he was talking to a dog.

"*Sniff*…Pulpy…*Sniff*…Dogs…*Sniff?*…Hooved African Mammal…*Sniff*…Danger!" The Warrior says.

"Timberwolves?" Discord asks.

"Rhyming Zebra?" Snowflame asks.

"Danger?" Spike asks, as he puts all the sentences together and realize, "Oh Celestia! Zecora’s being attacked by Timberwolves!!! We have to save her!"

"Awwww, But I wanted to kill a dragon!" The Warrior says, "I has a sad!"

"We will, but these wolves will be like a mini boss." Snowflame tells The Warrior.

"Alrighty then, onward into the magical swirling winds of death!"

"Sounds fun to me, plus I’ve always wanted to see a zebra." Discord says.

The Warrior leads the way while Spike and Discord fly and Snowflame runs behind him, not that long after they get to a clearing where Zecora is in a tree surrounded by 50 Timberwolves.

Snowflame sees them and shouts "ZUUULLLLLLL!!!!!", The wolves look at him. "Snowflame is the Key Master!!! Zuul Mother Fuckers, Zuul!!!"

"WHO YOU GONNA CALL?!!!" The Warrior adds.

"Ummmm…YA! What they Said!" Spike says.

The Wolves rush at them and the combatants attack.

Snowflame makes flames surround his arms, and he starts punching them with flaming fist of fury, which shatters their bodys as they slowly to burn to ashes.

Spike turns on his chainsaw and starts going to town on a group, slicing off wooden heads left and right. He then also sets their remains on fire with his fire breath.

The Ultimate Warrior Power Slams two in.to another, shattering them, he then turns around and clotheslines one’s head clean off.

While this was all going down, Discord was just watching with a bag of popcorn and sitting next to Zecora in the tree. "Oh I wish these guys were around a few thousand years ago. I love this show. Popcorn?", He offers Popcorn to Zecora.

"What are you doing you strange creature, this is not a Friday night cinema feature!" Zecora asks.

"Well Duh, Today is Saturday." Discord says, making Zecora roll her eyes.

The wolves don’t even get a chance to turn into a Mega Wolf because they splinter and burn the bodies. Though the wolves Spike burned seemed to have disappeared.

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle...

Princess Celestia was laying by her fireplace and says to herself, "Okay Tia, Discord seems to be gone for now. Just try to relax a little."

Then a bunch of ashes shoot out of the firsplace and onto Celestia, staining her snow white coat. She coughs up some ash and shouts, "Oh medamnit! Chimney Sweep I told you to clean my fireplace today! Someponies not getting a Hearths Warming Day bonus this year."

Back to the plot... (Not that kind, you perverts)

"That was a satisfying appetizer to the main course, but I need the pepper, WHERE IS THE PEPPER?!!!" The Warrior shouts.

"That felt amazing, WHO’S THE SMALL DEFENSELESS GUY NOW WORLD?!!! HUH?!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Spike laughs.

"Snowflame agrees, but now Snowflame needs tweezers to get splinters out." Snowflame says as Zecora and Discord teleport next to them, "Hi Rhyming Zebra, good thing we…"

Zecora slaps him in the face angrily, "You blew up my home and my work, you careless incompetent jerk!!!"

"Oh yeah, Snowflame kinda forgot about that. Oopsie."

"Hey, to be fair that did happen all the way back in Chapter 2, so I bet you that half the readers forgot about it." Discord says.

Ignoring him, Zecora tackles Snowflame and starts raining down blows on him, but he lets her since Snowflame Feels No Pain and even he'll admit that he kinda deserves it.

The others just watch laughing.

Meanwhile at Fancy Pants Manor...

At the Residence of Fancy Pants
Zant, Disco Dance, and Screwloose have gathered all the house servants into the living room and have tied them up against the couches and chairs. While Blueblood freaks out a little inside for being involved
Zant: Well that seems to be the last of them.
Screwloose: Bark Bark!
Zant: That is true Screwloose, we don’t want a Die Hard situation on our hands. My lord, can I borrow that knife please?
Blueblood: What for?
Zant: Oh it’s just a precaution, I’m going to scare them with it to see if anypony else is here
Blueblood: Oh…OK (Give Zant the Blade)
Zant: Thank you, now which one of you is the main butler
Butler: That would be me
Zant stabs the butler in the leg and the Butler screams in pain at such a high frequency that it bothers neighbor’s dogs and Screwloose
Blueblood: What the Buck?!!!
Zant: Who else is in the building?!!! (He twists the blade and the butler screams more)
Blueblood: OH MY CELESTIA!!!!
Zant: WHO ELSE IS IN THE BUILDING?!!!
Butler: There’s two gardeners, they’re napping in their quarters out back
Zant: Oh thank you for the information, you’ve been very helpful (he says sincerely as he takes the blade out)
Blueblood: WHY THE BUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!!! YOU SAID YOU WERE ONLY GOING TO SCARE THEM?!!!
Zant: Well it did scare them didn’t it my god? Look at their faces
Blueblood: I….I….
The Butler is still crying from his leg wound and the others are shocked and horrified as Zant turns to Disco Dance
Zant: Joey, I need you to go get them. But it’s dangerous to go alone, take this (He hands him the bloody blade)
Disco Dance: Give me the Cheetoh! I got it, I Got It! (He rushes off)
Zant: Alright Everyone, we are now going to play a little game called, ‘Who is your daddy, and what does he do?’
Blueblood: (Talking to himself) Alright, calm down Blueblood, the situation isn’t totally bucked, you can still turn this into a win. Zant is batshit insane yes, but he is one of the most powerful unicorns I’ve ever seen. He’ll be useful for taking out that hairless ape. The staff just needs a memory wipe and that butler needs a bandage.
Screwloose: Bark Bark
Blueblood: That’s right you lanky insane mare, everything is under control (Smiles awkwardly)
Butler screams in immense Pain again because Zant stuck another knife into his other leg
Blueblood: WHY?!!!!
Zant: Well that one was just for fun.

Zant, Disco Dance, and Screwloose have gathered all the house servants into the living room and have tied them up against the couches and chairs.

While Blueblood is freaks out a little inside for being involved, 'I should of ran! I should of ran! Oh Celestia why didn't I run?!'

"Well that seems to be the last of them." Zant says.

Screwloose barks twice.

"That is true Screwloose, we don’t want a Die Hard situation on our hands. My lord, can I borrow that knife please?"

"What for?" Blueblood asks.

"Oh it’s just a precaution, I’m going to scare them with it to see if anypony else is here."

"Oh…OK." Blueblood says giving Zant the blade.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Connecticut...

KenSES64 looked at his laptop screen just staring at Blueblood's last action. "I don't even... Catbug you mind helping me here?

"Thanks Catbug."

"Thank you, now which one of you is the main butler?" Zant asks.

"That would be me." said a grey earth pony stallion with a grey mane.

Zant stabs the butler in the leg and the Butler screams in pain at such a high frequency that it bothers neighbor’s dogs and Screwloose, making them howl.

"What the Buck?!!!" Blueblood shouts.

"Who else is in the building?!!!" Zant asks as he twists the blade and the butler screams more.

"OH MY CELESTIA!!!!" Blueblood shouts, gagging a little.

"WHO ELSE IS IN THE BUILDING?!!!"

"There’s two gardeners, they’re napping in their quarters out back!" The Butler shouts.

"Oh thank you for the information, you’ve been very helpful." Zant says sincerely as he takes the blade out.

"WHY THE BUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!!! YOU SAID YOU WERE ONLY GOING TO SCARE THEM?!!!" Blueblood screams at Zant.

"Well it did scare them didn’t it my god? Look at their faces."

"I….I…." Blueblood sees The Butler is still crying from his leg wound and the others are shocked and horrified, Blueblood mouths to them the words, 'I'm so sorry'.

Zant turns to Disco Dance and says, "Joey, I need you to go get them. But it’s dangerous to go alone, take this.", He hands him the bloody blade,

"Give me the Cheetoh! I got it, I Got It!" Disco Dance shouts as he rushes off.

"Alright Everyone, we are now going to play a little game called, ‘Who is your daddy, and what does he do?’" Zant says.

"Alright, calm down Blueblood, the situation isn’t totally bucked, you can still turn this into a win. Zant is batshit insane yes, but he is one of the most powerful unicorns I’ve ever seen. He’ll be useful for taking out that hairless ape. The staff just needs a memory wipe and that butler needs a bandage." Blueblood says to himself.

Screwloose barks.

"That’s right you lanky insane mare, everything is under control." Blueblood says smiling awkwardly. He then hears the butler scream in immense pain again. Blueblood sees that Zant stuck another knife into his other leg, "WHY?!!!!"

"Well that one was just for fun." Zant says.

Author's Note

Oh I've been wanting to do that Flash Sentry joke for a long time now, and yes, in this universe Equestria Girls didn't happen, at least not yet.

Dragon's Lair (22)

After letting Zecora tire herself Snowflame stands up
Snowflame: Are you done?
Zecora nods her head since she is panting
Snowflame: Good, listen, Snowflame is pretty sorry about blowing up your house, but Snowflame has to ask, do you still have the Cocaine plant with you?
Zecora: Are you still obsessing about that, you property destroying ass hat?
Discord: Haaaaa…She said hat
Warrior: She did say hat, ha ha ha
Snowflame: Of course Snowflame is, how can Snowflame not?
Zecora: I do have your stupid plant, but I have no home, can you not get that through your thick dome?
Snowflame: Don’t worry Rhyming Zebra, Snowflame will get you a new home, Snowflame Pinkie Promises.
Zecora: You better if you know what’s good for you, otherwise I might just have to sue
Snowflame: You won’t have to, Snowflame and his friends are going to kill a dragon and take his treasure, Snowflame will give you half of his.
Spike: Wow, that’s pretty generous of you Snow…
Snowflame: and you can use that half to start manufacturing and distributing Snowflame’s precious god.
Spike:...Ah, there it is.
Zecora: That is all good and well, but how do you expect me to do that pray tell?
Snowflame: You can stay with the purple pony, she has science stuff in the basement and that can help you make cocaine, right Spike?
Spike: Not sure if Twilight would want her lab equipment being used, but ya you can stay. (Spike thinks for a second) Also why didn’t you come into town yesterday if your house blew up?
Zecora: I was going to, as you can see (She points to the saddlebags on her back) but then those mutts chased me up that tree. And wait, how can you be Spike, he is usually a small little tyke?
Spike: Well I’m awesome now, deal with it.
Warrior: Can we hurry this along? I’ve got a boner for dragon murder, and it must be indulged!
Snowflame: Right, Q, do your magic, bye bye Zebra
Zecora: Wha.. (Discord Snaps and she is teleported to the library)
Warrior: Yay, let’s go now, lead the way Road Warrior Barney (yelling at Spike)
Spike looks around.
Spike: Well if this is the path that normally leads to Zecora’s hut, then the cave should be somewhere over there (He points in a direction).
Discord: Good enough for me, I’m tired of running (He snaps and they are transported right to the cave)
Snowflame: Well that was lucky
Spike: This is the place alright, so how we gonna do this?
Warrior: We rush in playing our theme music shouting at the top of our lungs to hype everyone up, then we beat him to death in a glorious blood bath!
Snowflame: Snowflame likes that idea
Spike: Seriously?
Snowflame: Yes! Screw Subtlety! (He turns to Discord) but before we go in, Snowflame needs you to take this limiter off his cocaine bracelet.
Discord: I didn’t put any inhibitors on it
Snowflame: No, but the Time Machine Pony did, now take it off
Discord: (Snaps) There, now go in there and have fun
Spike: You’re not coming?
Discord: Tartarus no, I don’t kill, it’s not my style. Besides, what do I need with jewels?
Warrior: Then why did you tag along Slender Chinchilla?
Discord: Just because I don’t kill doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy seeing holy retribution to those who deserve it.
Snowflame: Wimp
Discord: Fine I’ll come in, I’ll lend a hand if things get out of control, and I can also provide the awesome background fighting music.
Snowflame: Snowflame knows which song to use (Smiling).
Inside the Cave the Green Dragon lay on his bed of Gems, resting peacefully, until he heard what sounded like an accapella group

Discord: Ha, Hua, Huh! Ha, Hua, Huh!
The dragon lifts his head in confusion
Discord: Ha, Hua, Huh!
The dragon looks trying to find the source, as the music rises he spots four figures in the dark as one at a time they sing
Discord: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Snowflame: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh
Warrior: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh
Spike: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh
The dragon is confused as one by one each jumps out of the shadows and sings a line
Snowflame: Dovahkiin!
Warrior: Dovahkiin!
Spike/Discord: naal ok zin los vahriin
Spike: wah dein
Discord: vokul
Snowflame/Warrior: mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
All Singing: Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!
Discord starts doing accapella seeming to have his voice in multiple parts doing the tune of the song. The dragon sees Spike and he recognizes his features and scent, he is getting up to attack him and the hairless apes when Discord begins singing the rest of Dovahkiin as they attack
Snowflame, the Ultimate Warrior and Spike all punch the dragon in the face at the same time knocking him back into the cave wall and breaking some of his teeth.
The Dragon is furious and charges them.
They all dodge out of the way, and the Ultimate Warrior grabs the tail of the dragon and begins spinning him
Warrior: Spin you right round, Right Round like a record Baby!
He lets go and he hits another wall and is dazed. Snowflame and Spike take this opportunity to attack.
Snowflame: Snowflame wants to play eye spy (He punches the dragon in the eye, caving it in)
The dragon howls in pain as Spike revs up his chainsaw
Spike: I remember these claws (He chops off half of the Dragon’s claw and it screams) TRY GUTTING ME NOW YOU BUCKING FLANKHOLE!!!
The dragon blindly flails and knocks them both back into the Ultimate Warrior. He then flairs his wings and starts flapping them and the wind drives them back. With one angry eye he looks at them and breathes fire.
He thinks he got them, but Discord is still singing. From the Smoke the three appear, Smoking, but not hurt
Snowflame: Flame proof bitch! (He activates his own flames)
The dragon roars and throws a train box car full of jewels at Snowflame.
Snowflame: Oh!
It hits him and drives him into the wall and the Dragon Smirks
Spike: Snowflame!
Warrior: He’s fine young draconian, focus on the fight
Spike: But…
Warrior: Charge!
The rush the dragon and he whips his tail at them, but they both jump over it. The warrior breaks off one of the tail spikes and rams it into the dragon’s tail pinning it. The dragon again is in pain and flares his wings to flap again but Spike has gotten onto his back and cuts one of them off at the base. His chainsaw stalls though.
The dragon slams his back into the wall knocking the wind out of Spike and he grabs him and brings him up to his mouth. The Warrior gut kicks the dragon though and this gives Spike enough time to restart the chainsaw and cut off the dragon’s thumb, freeing him.
The dragon is flailing at this point in pain, and the Warrior is grazed and thrown into a pile of gems while Spike is trying to fly out of the way.
The boxcar is suddenly lifted up and Snowflame is covered in his flames holding it
Snowflame: SNOWFLAME FEELS NO PAIN!!!
He throws the Flaming Boxcar at the dragon and it sticks through his gut into the wall.
Snowflame regroups with his friends as they stare down the dragon who is looking at them with pleading eyes as Discord hits in on the last lyrics
Discord: Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot,
Dragon: Please, have mercy!
Warrior: NOOOO!!!!!
Spike: Buck that, you tried to eat me!
Snowflame: Sorry, we’re all out of mercy (Snowflame Smiles)
The jump on the injured dragon and literally beat him to death as they sing with Discord the last lyrics.
All singing: Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!
They all give the last blow of snapping his neck as the song ends.
They are all panting, even Discord since he was singing the whole time. Snowflame has a gash in his side, the Warrior has a cut on his face, and Spike is bruised, but it blends in with his scales. They then look at each other and break into cheering
Snowflame: That was awesome!
Warrior: I killed a dragon, one of my childhood dreams has come true!!!
Spike: Man, revenge is really underrated, that felt amazing!
Discord: Gentlemen, that was so needlessly violent, and I loved every minute of it.
Snowflame: Congrats purple puffy dragon, you are now a man
Discord: Well that’s debatable, he’s still a virgin
Spike: Hey!
Snowflame: Don’t worry, I’m sure the diamond butt pony will sploosh all over you when she sees your new form and jewels
Warrior: Not to mention you killed a giant monster, chicks love that
Spike: (blushing a bit) If you guys say so
Warrior: We do, now we will feast on this behemoth and gain his power!
Spike: Ya, I’m not gonna do that, (Grabs handfuls of treasure and starts eating them)
The warrior starts gnawing on the dragon’s corpse, but Snowflame stops him
Snowflame: Snowflame doesn’t want to eat raw meat, so instead we will have a BBQ tomorrow.
Discord: What do you want? Steaks, hamburgers or hotdogs?
Snowflame: Yes!
Discord: Alrighty then. (He snaps his fingers and the dragon’s meat disappears leaving only a skeleton)
Warrior: Hey! Where’s the Beef?
Discord: An industrial freezer in my room, that way it won’t spoil
Snowflame: Good thinking, now divide all our treasure up into threes
Discord: I’m starting to feel like I’m just your guy’s convenient errand boy (Snaps his fingers and carts full of the treasure appear)
Snowflame: Yes, Yes you are. Now take us back to Ponyville sidekick!
Discord: *Sigh* Fine (Snap)

After letting Zecora tire herself Snowflame stands up and says, "Are you done?"

Zecora nods her head since she is panting.

"Good, listen, Snowflame is pretty sorry about blowing up your house, but Snowflame has to ask, do you still have the Cocaine plant with you?"

"Are you still obsessing about that, you property destroying ass hat?" Zecora asks.

"Haaaaa…She said hat." Discord says.

"She did say hat." The Warrior laughs.

"Of course Snowflame is, how can Snowflame not?" Snowflame asks.

"I do have your stupid plant, but I have no home, can you not get that through your thick dome?" Zecora asks.

"Don’t worry Rhyming Zebra, Snowflame will get you a new home, Snowflame Pinkie Promises."

"You better if you know what’s good for you, otherwise I might just have to sue."

"You won’t have to, Snowflame and his friends are going to kill a dragon and take his treasure, Snowflame will give you half of his."

"Wow, that’s pretty generous of you Snow…" Spike begins to say.

"and you can use that half to start manufacturing and distributing Snowflame’s precious god."

"...Ah, there it is."

"That is all good and well, but how do you expect me to do that pray tell?" Zecora asks.

"You can stay with the purple pony, she has science stuff in the basement and that can help you make cocaine, right Spike?"

"Not sure if Twilight would want her lab equipment being used, but ya you can stay. Also why didn’t you come into town yesterday if your house blew up?" Spike asks.

"I was going to, as you can see," Zecora says as she points to the saddlebags on her back, "but then those mutts chased me up that tree. And wait, how can you be Spike, he is usually a small little tyke?"

"Well I’m awesome now, deal with it."

"Can we hurry this along? I’ve got a boner for dragon murder, and it must be indulged!" The Warrior shouts.

"Didn't need to know that." Snowflame says, "Right, Q, do your magic, bye bye Zebra."

Zecora is only able to say "Wha..." before Discord snaps his fingures and teleports her to the library.

"Yay, let’s go now, lead the way Road Warrior Barney!" The Warriot yells at Spike.

Spike looks around and says, "Well if this is the path that normally leads to Zecora’s hut, then the cave should be somewhere over there. He points to the left of the dirt path..

"Good enough for me, I’m tired of running." Discord says as he snaps and they are transported right to the cave.

"Well that was lucky." Snowflame says.

"This is the place alright, so how we gonna do this?" Spike asked.

"We rush in playing our theme music shouting at the top of our lungs to hype everyone up, then we beat him to death in a glorious blood bath!" The Warrior suggests.

"Snowflame likes that idea." Snowflame says.

"Seriously?" Spike deadpans.

"Yes! Screw Subtlety!" Snowflame turns to Discord, "but before we go in, Snowflame needs you to take this limiter off his cocaine bracelet."

"I didn’t put any inhibitors on it." Discord points out.

:"No, but the Time Machine Pony did, now take it off."

Discord snaps his figures, "There, now go in there and have fun.

"You’re not coming?" Spike asks.

"Tartarus no, I don’t kill, it’s not my style. Besides, what do I need with jewels?"

"Then why did you tag along Slender Chinchilla?" The Warrior asks.

"Just because I don’t kill doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy seeing holy retribution to those who deserve it."

Snowflame rolls his eyes and says, "Wimp."

"Fine I’ll come in, I’ll lend a hand if things get out of control, and I can also provide the awesome background fighting music."

"Snowflame knows which song to use." The cocaine fuel villain says smiling.

Inside the Cave a Green Dragon lay on his bed of Gems, resting peacefully, until he heard what sounded like an accapella group.
(Snowflame=red, Warrior=blue, Spike=purple, Discord=green, All=bolded)

Ha, Hua, Huh! Ha, Hua, Huh!

The dragon lifts his head in confusion.

Ha, Hua, Huh!

The dragon looks trying to find the source, as the music rises he spots four figures in the dark as one at a time they sing.

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh

The dragon is confused as one by one each jumps out of the shadows and sings a line.

Dovahkiin!

Dovahkiin!

naal ok zin los vahriin

wah dein

vokul

mahfaeraak ahst vaal!

Ahrk fin norok paal graan

fod nust hon zindro zaan

Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

The dragon sees and he recognizes Spike by his features and scent, he is stands up to ready to attack him and the hairless apes, while Discord begins singing the rest of Dovahkiin by himself.

"Snowflame, the Ultimate Warrior and Spike all run up and jump at the dragon to punch him in the face at the same time knocking him back into the cave wall.

The Dragon gets up and charges at them ferociously.

They each avoid the Dragon, and the Ultimate Warrior ends up grabing the tail of the dragon and using as much power as he can, begins to spin him.

"Spin you right round, Right Round like a record Baby!" The Warrior shouts before he lets go, sending the dragon into another wall.

Seeing it be dazed by this, Snowflame and Spike take this opportunity to attack.

"Snowflame wants to play eye spy." Snowflame says as he rushes up to the dragon, but he stops, only to raise one of his hads up and making it cover itself in flames, "THIS HAND OF SNOWFLAME'S IS BURNING WHITE! IT'S LOUD ROAR TELLS SNOWFLAME TO GRASP VICTORY! ERUPTING BURNING FINGER!" He then makes a fist and punches the dragon in the eye, caving it in.

The dragon howls in pain as Spike revs up his chainsaw, "I remember these claws," Spike says before he chops off half of the Dragon’s claw with on quick swipe of the chainsaw, it scream. "TRY GUTTING ME NOW YOU BUCKING FLANKHOLE!!!"

The dragon blindly flails and knocks them both back into the Ultimate Warrior. He then flairs his wings and starts flapping them and the wind drives them back. With one angry eye he looks at them, he then takes a deep breath and breathes fire right at them. He thinks he got them, but he still hears Discord singing and from the smoke the three appear not hurt.

"Flame proof bitch!" Snowflame shouts as he activates his own flames.

The dragon roars as he picks up a nearby train box car full of jewels and throws it at Snowflame, and it hits him, driving him into the wall and the Dragon Smirks

"Snowflame!" Spike shouts.

"He’s fine young draconian, focus on the fight!" The Warrior says.

"But…"

"Charge!"

They rush at the dragon, who whips his tail at them, but they both jump over it.

The Warrior grabs one of the tail spikes, breaking it off, and rams it into the dragon’s tail pinning it. The dragon again shouts in pain and flares his wings to flap again but during this time Spike has gotten onto his back and brings down his chainsaw, cutting one of the wings off at the base.

The dragon slams his back into the wall knocking the wind out of Spike and he quickly grabs him and brings him up to his mouth.

The Warrior runs up and dropkicks the dragon in the gut, and this gives Spike enough time to restart the chainsaw and cut off the dragon’s thumb, freeing himself.

The dragon is flailing at this point in pain, and the Warrior is grazed and thrown into a pile of gems while Spike is trying to fly out of the way.

The boxcar is suddenly lifted up by Snowflame, who is covered in his flames, "SNOWFLAME FEELS NO PAIN!!!", He throws the Flaming Boxcar at the dragon and it sticks through his gut into the wall.

Snowflame regroups with his friends as they stare down the dragon who is looking at them with pleading eyes as Discord hits in on the last lyrics

Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot,

"Please, have mercy!" The dragon pleads.

"NOOOO!!!!!" The Warrior shouts.

"Buck that, you tried to eat me!" Spike says

"Sorry, we’re all out of mercy." Snowflame says as he smiles.

They jump onto the injured dragon and start beat him to death as they sing with Discord the last lyrics.

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin

naal ok zin los vahriin

wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!

Ahrk fin norok paal graan

fod nust hon zindro zaan

Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

The two humans and dragon give the last blow of snapping his neck as the song ends.

They all land on the ground panting, even Discord since he was singing the whole time. Snowflame has a gash in his side, the Warrior has a cut on his face, and Spike is bruised, but it blends in with his scales. They then look at each other and break into cheering.

"That was awesome!" Snowflame exclaims.

"I killed a dragon, one of my childhood dreams has come true!!!" The Warrior shouts.

"Man, revenge is really underrated, that felt amazing!" Spike adds.

"Gentlemen, that was so needlessly violent, and I loved every minute of it." Discord says smirking.

"Congrats purple puffy dragon, you are now a man." Snowflame says to Spike.

"Well that’s debatable, he’s still a virgin." Discord says.

"Hey!" Spike shouts.

"Don’t worry, I’m sure the diamond butt pony will sploosh all over you when she sees your new form and jewels." Snowflame says.

"Not to mention you killed a giant monster, chicks love that." The Warrior adds.

Spike blushes a bit and says, "If you guys say so."

"We do, now we will feast on this behemoth and gain his power!" Snowflame shouts.

"Ya, I’m not gonna do that." Spike says grabing handfuls of gems and stuffing his face with them.

The Warrior starts gnawing on the dragon’s corpse, but Snowflame stops him, "Snowflame doesn’t want to eat raw meat, so instead we will have a BBQ tomorrow.".

"What do you want? Steaks, hamburgers or hotdogs?" Discord asks.

"Yes."

"Alrighty then." Discord snaps his fingers and the dragon’s meat disappears leaving only a skeleton.

"Hey! Where’s the Beef?" The Warrior asks.

"An industrial freezer in my room, that way it won’t spoil."

"Good thinking, now divide all our treasure up into threes." Snowflame says.

"I’m starting to feel like I’m just your guy’s convenient errand boy." Discord snaps his fingers again this time three carts full of the treasure appear.

"Yes, Yes you are. Now take us back to Ponyville sidekick!"

"*Sigh* Fine."

Snowflame got up after getting his hand assed to him, so he just continues the adventure. Then, they somehow end up at the train station. Snowflame is then ran over by a train, that had the mane six, and shrugs it off. Why? He's fucking Snowflame!

They teleport at the train station, and Snowflame is on the tracks as the train comes in for a stop.
Snowflame: Oh son of a…(Gets hit and he goes flying) Why do Trains Hate Snowflame?!!!!
Discord: Sidekick my ass, ha ha ha
The Mane 6 rush off the train determined.
Rarity: We have to get to Spike before it’s too late! It may take all night, but we must search girls.
Twilight: Yes, who knows where they could be
Pinkie: Hey there they are (Pinkie Points)
Spike, The Ultimate Warrior, Discord and Snowflame who just limped back are not 5 feet from them
Spike: Hey girls (Spike waves)
They are all shocked at his appearance and the countless jewels behind them and how they are all covered in blood. Except Pinkie of course
Pinkie: Hi Spike, Hi Snowfy, Hi Mr. Warrior, Hi Discord! Looks like you had fun.
Snowflame: Eyup, ha, Snowflame always wanted to say that.

With a snap of Discord's figures they teleport at the train station, but Snowflame appears on the tracks as the train comes in for a stop.

"Oh son of a…" Snowflame says right before he gets hit and is sent flying, "Why do Trains Hate Snowflame?!!!!"

"Sidekick my ass." Discord says, laughing.

Right then the wielders of the Elements of Harmony rush off the train looking determined.

"We have to get to Spike before it’s too late! It may take all night, but we must search girls." Rarity says.

"Yes, who knows where they could be." Twilight adds.

"Hey there they are." Pinkie says pointing at Spike, The Ultimate Warrior, Discord and Snowflame who is just walking back over to them, are not 5 feet from them.

"Hey girls." Spike says in his still new Cambelle voice while he waves at them.

Their mouths drop in shock at both his appearance and the countless jewels behind them and how they are all covered in blood. Except Pinkie of course.

"Hi Spike, Hi Snowfy, Hi Mr. Warrior, Hi Discord! Looks like you had fun." Pinkie greets.

"Eeyup, ha, Snowflame always wanted to say that." Snowflame says.

Meanwhile at Fancy Pants Manor...

At a spiraling out of control Hostage Crisis
The gardeners have been brought in and tied up with the rest of the scared staff while Screwloose cleans and bandages the butler’s legs. Disco Dance is busy messing with the main of one of the maids. Blueblood is yelling at Zant, having taken the knife away.
Blueblood: No more stabbing Zant!
Zant: Oh come now, that’s not fair! How else are we supposed to keep hostages in line?
Blueblood: NOT BY STABBING THEM!!! I didn’t want to take hostages in the first place.
Zant: Well you can blame Fluffy for that!
Blueblood: NO I’M NOT BLAMING FLUFFY! You got us into this mess!
Zant: Alright fine, I’ll admit, I didn’t know Mom moved OK, I’ll give her a call now.
Holds hoof up to ear and makes ringing noises
Blueblood: What are you…
Zant: Hello Mom, I’m serving a new deity right now and apparently you moved and we entered the wrong house. So I’m going to stay here until the morning.
Zant in Different Voice: That’s fine dear, just be in bed by 11
Zant: Will do, love you, bye bye. (“Hangs Up”)
Blueblood is just perplexed by what he saw
Zant: There, now she won’t be up all night worrying
Blueblood shakes his head to clear the crazy out
Blueblood: Zant! We need to do something about these hostages and get out of here
Zant: Oh well why didn’t you say so
An Axe appears out of nowhere in his magic and he rushes at one of the maids
Blueblood holds him back
Blueblood: What? NO!!! Not Like That!
Zant: But it wouldn’t be stabbing, it would be hacking
Blueblood: No killing the hostages!
Zant: How about maiming?
Blueblood: NO!
Zant: Bludgeoning?
Blueblood: For Celestia's Sake NO!!!
Zant: Fine, how about I entertain them with one my stories?
Blueblood:..Yes, do that!
Zant: Oh goody, aren’t you all in for a treat. Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, I won’t overwhelm, and I’ll tell you how I became king of the Twilight Realm!
Blueblood: You’re not gonna sing the whole story are you?
Zant: No of course not, that would be insane.
Blueblood blinks at that statement.

The gardeners have been brought in and tied up with the rest of the scared staff.

Screwloose has cleaned and bandaged the butler’s legs, while Disco Dance is busy messing with the mane of one of the maids.

"No more stabbing Zant!" Blueblood shouts.

"Oh come now, that’s not fair! How else are we supposed to keep hostages in line?" Zant asks.

"NOT BY STABBING THEM!!! I didn’t want to take hostages in the first place!"

"Well you can blame Fluffy for that!"

"NO I’M NOT BLAMING FLUFFY! You got us into this mess!"

"Alright fine, I’ll admit, I didn’t know Mom moved OK, I’ll give her a call now.", Zant holds one of his hooves up to ear and makes ringing noises.

"What are you…"

"Hello Mom, I’m serving a new deity right now and apparently you moved and we entered the wrong house. So I’m going to stay here until the morning." Zant then puts down his hoof, bringing the other one up to his other ear and beings talking in a slightly female voice, "That’s fine dear, just be in bed by 11." He brings up his first hoof and says in his normal voice, "Will do, love you, bye bye."

Blueblood just stares at him, perplexed by what he saw.

"There, now she won’t be up all night worrying."

Blueblood shakes his head to try to clear the crazy out "Zant! We need to do something about these hostages and get out of here"

"Oh well why didn’t you say so?" Zant asks, pulling an axe out of nowhere in his magic and he rushes at one of the maids, but Blueblood holds him back

"What? NO!!! Not Like That!"

"But it wouldn’t be stabbing, it would be hacking."

"No killing the hostages!"

"How about maiming?"

"NO!"

"Bludgeoning?"

"For Celestia's Sake NO!!!"

"Fine, how about I entertain them with one my stories?"

"Yes, do that!"

"Oh goody, aren’t you all in for a treat." Zant says before he starts singing, "Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, I won’t overwhelm, and I’ll tell you how I became king of the Twilight Realm!"

"You’re not gonna sing the whole story are you?"

"No of course not, that would be insane."

Blueblood blinks at that statement.

And Now A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Snowflame sits on a couch with a blue Nintendo 3DS looks up from the screen and says, "Pokemon X and Y come out this Saturday, buy at least one of them!" He then points at the 3DS and says, "Don't tell KenSES64 that Snowflame stole this from him." He looks back at the screen and shouts, "Isabelle why are you so cute?!"

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement from SNOWFLAME!

Wipes and Chains and Kinky Leather! Spike is Getting Laid Tonight! (23)

Snowflame tells the story of Spike new manliness, but rather than be impressed, they're shocked. They are peace lovers, what did you expect, a hug?
"So, does this mean that Snowflame is in trouble?"
"In a nutshell, yeah." Applejack would finish bluntly. Spike on the other hand would get smothered, and protected ridiculously, and then blame Discord, Snowflame and the Warrior.

Meanwhile, at the train station....
Twilight: (Realizing the new Spike and the presence of blood) What happened!? Are you okay!? Where did you get those!? (She bombards Spike with so many questions. Spike is now becoming a bit significantly awkward with Twilight going all over him.)
Rarity is enamoured by the treasure, yet slightly put off by the blood. She asks the group where those came from.
The Warrior: It t'was an awesome achievement; a childhood dream of DRAGON SLAYING.
And then the group goes all WHAT! Twilight begins to fret, Spike reminds her of his maturity, Rarity faints on her fainting sofa, which she brought with her, Applejack and Rainbow is stunned, with Rainbow muttering "So...Awesome..." Pinkie... MIGHT get depressed, excited, or want to throw a "Dragon Slayers" or a "Hooray-you're-alive" party; maybe both. Fluttershy is torn between fear of Dragons, killing of animals, relief that they're ok, and the sheer manliness of most of the party. Her mind opts for the default option after a while, and faints as well.

At the Train Station
The Girl’s are shocked because all the guys are covered in blood, have cart loads of treasure, and Spike now has the badassnes of Bruce Campbell.
Twilight: Wh..Wha…WHAT THE BUCK HAPPENED?!!!
Snowflame: Not much, typical guy’s night out sort of thing
Twilight: YOU’RE ALL COVERED IN BLOOD!!! (Fluttershy is a bit woozy seeing this)
Discord realizes this and thinks ‘Oops, I knew there was something I forgot to do’
Discord: No we’re not (Snap and all blood is gone) see?
Twilight: What did you do?!
Warrior: We fulfilled the the prophecy of the Elder Scrolls, and brought down Alduin the world eater, thus saving all of Tamriel!!!
Twilight:…WHAT THE BUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!!!
Spike: We killed a dragon and stole his treasure, and It Was Awesome!!!
The girls gasp at this, Fluttershy doesn’t like killing, but she really hates dragons so her mood is conflicted as is Applejack, Rainbow Dash thinks it’s cool what they did as does Pinkie while Rarity does one of her 3 second faints onto her couch, Twilight is shocked and furious
Twilight: You Did WHAT?!!! Spike how could you?!!!... Also, WHAT IN THE TARTARUS HAPPENED TO SPIKE?!!!
Snowflame: He got turned into a badass is what happened, all thanks to the monkey fish man thing here (Points to Discord)
Discord: Guilty as charged
Twilight looks at Discord with a look that would’ve obliterated him if her eyes had lasers.
Spike: Hey Twilight calm down
Twilight: CALM DOWN?!!! CALM DOWN?!!! How can I calm down, look what he did to you!
Rarity gets up from her short faint
Rarity: Yes, look what you did to poor Spikey Wikey (she grabs his arm), you made him tall and fit and (Voice turns from scolding to dreamy)…muscular… with a strong chin and…(inhales) musky (eyes half lidded) Spike is blushing a lot
Twilight: RARITY!!!
Rarity: Huh?...(comes out of daze then half heartedly says) Ya, that, you did that.
Snowflame whispers into Spike’s ear
Snowflame: See? Snowflame told you, Sploosh.
Spike: Heh heh, ya, but Come on Twilight, I like being like this, what’s the big deal?
Twilight: The big deal is that you ran off with two aliens who only hours ago destroyed half of downtown Canterlot, and the god of chaos himself and you murdered one of your own kind!
Spike: Hey it was the green one that tried to eat you and me, he deserved it!
Twilight: That is not how we do things Mister!
Fluttershy: Killing is wrong
AJ: Ya, you’re all in big trouble, especially you Snowflame, how could you let little ol Spike do that.
Snowflame throws his hands up in the air, since he’s had enough
Snowflame: Alright, first off, Shut the Hell up! Secondly, SHUT THE HELL UP, and Thirdly Snowflame is tired of you little hypocrites and your bitching!
AJ: Excuse me?!
Snowflame: The farmer pony kills wood dogs all the time!
AJ: Well they’re dangerous and…
Snowflame: And you (He points to Twilight) You massacred an entire room full of innocent Pink Ponies
Twilight: But those were copies that didn’t belong and…
Snowflame: You enjoyed killing them too, Snowflame saw the smirk on your face, and you all helped (Pointing at all the Mane 6)
Twilight: (In her head “ How does he know all this?”) But…
Snowflame: And you also killed that Sombrero Pony in the snow.
Spike: It’s Sombra, and I helped.
Snowflame: Ya him, and none of you were sad. So shut your pie holes!
Warrior: Yes, get off your high horses you incredible small horses, horses riding metaphorical horses is a crime against nature!
The Mane 6 put their heads down for being so hypocritical
Twilight: OK, fine, maybe we did act a little too harshly.
Spike: It’s ok Twilight, oh and I’m not changing back into that wimpy form so don’t even ask
Discord: Oh I wouldn’t change you back, bros before hoes man (Fist Bumps Spike)
Twilight: Fine…
Snowflame: Alright then, Snowflame is sorry he yelled, but it had to be done. Now if you want to talk more, Snowflame will be having a BBQ tomorrow and you’re all invited
Pinkie: Oh, oh, do you need help with the party planning, because I know a great spot
Warrior: Yes cotton candy pony, you bring the buns, we’ll bring the dragon beef
Fluttershy finally faints due to the mention of beef, luckily Rarity’s couch is still there.
Pinkie: Sounds like fun
Snowflame: It will be, now if you don’t mind, Snowflame has had a busy day and is going to bed
Warrior: Where am I sleeping? I do not know these colorful horses all that much
Snowflame: You can stay with Snowflame and the lesbian ponies, Lyra won’t mind, she’s obsessed with humans
Warrior: OK
Snowflame: But before Snowflame leaves, Rainbow Pony! (Points at Dash) What is the Purple Dragon now?
Dash: Huh?
Snowflame: He’s big and awesome, so that makes him….
Dash: uhhhh…more awesome?
Snowflame: No, your catchphrase!
Dash: I have a catchphrase?
Snowflame: Yes, it’s on shirts and posters and backbacks…it deals with percentages
Dash: 20% Cooler?
Snowflame: There you go!
Dash: How is that my catchphrase? I’ve only said that like 2 or 3 times
Snowflame: Because!
Dash: okaaay..
Snowflame: See you main characters tomorrow maybe. Night!
Warrior: Farewell for now big eyed cartoon horses, the call of the whore that is sleep is calling!
(He and Snowflame walk away dragging their gems behind them)
Applejack: Did he just call Luna a whore?
Discord: Meh, wouldn’t surprise me, what with being in solitude on the moon for a thousand years
Twilight: Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you mister, Even if Spike is in a more capable form, that was still reckless and dangerous to take him….
Discord: Oh look (Points behind them) somepony who gives a crap (Snap and Teleports away)
Twilight: Ughhh. Well girls, let’s go home, we’ll figure this out in the morning
Spike: where am I gonna sleep?
Twilight: The guest bed, I think you’ve outgrown your basket
Spike: Actually Zecora is using that, she’s kind of homeless now.
Twilight: What? How?
Spike: Snowflame blew up her house
Twilight: Of course he did (Sigh) well maybe one of the girls can…
Rarity: MINE!!! (Grabs hold of Spike’s leg)…*ahem* I mean Spike is more than welcome to stay at my place, my bed is more than big enough.
Twilight: But…
Rarity: I won’t take no for an answer, come along darling, (Starts dragging the dragon while he carries his gems)
Spike: Umm…OK (Thinking ‘Oh Thank you Discord, I owe you one buddy’)
Twilight *Sigh* Nothing’s been the same since that hairless ape showed up

The Girl’s are all shocked because the guys are covered in blood, have cart loads of treasure, and Spike is now much bigger than his normal self.

"Wh..Wha…WHAT THE BUCK HAPPENED?!!!" Twilight shouts.

"Not much, typical guy’s night out sort of thing." Snowflame says.

"YOU’RE ALL COVERED IN BLOOD!!!"

Fluttershy is a bit woozy seeing this, and almost falls over.

Discord realizes this and thinks ‘Oops, I knew there was something I forgot to do’, and says, "No we’re not.", he snap his figures and all blood vanishes, "See?"

"What did you do?!"

"We fulfilled the the prophecy of the Elder Scrolls, and brought down Alduin the world eater, thus saving all of Tamriel!!!" The Warrior shouts.

"WHAT THE BUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!!!"

"We killed a dragon and stole his treasure, and It Was Awesome!!!" Spike exclaims.

The girls all gasp at once, Applejack gets a look like she's conflicted on what to think, Rainbow Dash mutters, "So awesome." Pinkie just smiles, while Fluttershy faints, Rarity faints as well though only after she pulls her drama couch out of nowhere, Twilight looks shocked and furious.

"You Did WHAT?!!! Spike how could you?!!!... Also, WHAT IN THE TARTARUS HAPPENED TO SPIKE?!!!"

"He got turned into a badass is what happened, all thanks to the monkey fish man thing here." Snowflame says pointing at Discord.

Discord smirks and says, "Guilty as charged."

Twilight looks at Discord like she's about to evolve into Rapidash.

"Hey Twilight calm down." Spike says with his claws up.

"CALM DOWN?!!! CALM DOWN?!!! How can I calm down, look what he did to you!"

Rarity gets up from her drama couch and says "Yes, look what you did to poor Spikey Wikey.", she grabs his arm, "You made him tall and fit and…muscular… with a strong chin and…*inhales* musky. She starts beeming some bedroom eyes and Spike's face turns bright red.

"RARITY!!!" Twilight shouts at the white mare.

"Huh?... Ya, that, you did that."

Snowflame leans into Spike’s ear and whispers, "See? Snowflame told you, Sploosh."

"Heh heh, ya, but Come on Twilight, I like being like this, what’s the big deal?" Spike asks.

"The big deal is that you ran off with two aliens who only hours ago destroyed half of downtown Canterlot, and the god of chaos himself and you murdered one of your own kind!" Twilight shouts.

"Hey it was the green one that tried to eat you and me, he deserved it!"

"That is not how we do things Mister!"

"Killing is wrong." Fluttershy says now back for fainting earlier.

"Ya, you’re all in big trouble, especially you Snowflame, how could you let little ol Spike do that." Applejack says.

Snowflame throws his hands up in the air, "Alright, first off, Shut the Hell up! Secondly, SHUT THE HELL UP, and Thirdly Snowflame is tired of you little hypocrites and your bitching!"

"Excuse me?!"

"The farmer pony kills wood dogs all the time!"

"Well they’re dangerous and…"

"And the nerdy purple pony massacred an entire room full of innocent pink ponies"

"But those were copies that didn’t belong and…" Twilight begain to say.

"You enjoyed killing them too, Snowflame saw the smirk on your face, and you the rest of you helped."

"But…"

"And you also killed that Sombrero Pony in the snow."

"It’s Sombra, and I helped." Spike said.

"Ya him, and none of you were sad. So shut your pie holes!"

"Yes, get off your high horses you incredible small horses, horses riding metaphorical horses is a crime against nature!" The Warrior says.

The Mares put their heads down thinking that they may have been hypocritical.

"OK, fine, maybe we did act a little too harshly." Twilight admits.

"It’s ok Twilight, oh and I’m not changing back into that wimpy form so don’t even ask." Spike tells her.

"Oh I wouldn’t change you back, bros before hoes man." Discord says giving Spike a fist bump.

Twight sighs and says, "Fine…"

"Alright then, Snowflame is sorry he yelled, but it had to done. Now if you want to talk more, Snowflame will be having a BBQ tomorrow and you’re all invited." Snowflame says.

"Oh, oh, do you need help with the party planning, because I know a great spot." Pinkie Pie says.

"Yes cotton candy pony, you bring the buns, we’ll bring the dragon beef!" The Warrior shouts.

Fluttershy faints again this time takin Rarity’s drama couch.

"Sounds like fun!"

"It will be, now if you don’t mind, Snowflame has had a busy day and is going to bed." Snowflame tells the mares.

"Where am I sleeping? I do not know these colorful horses all that much!" The Warrior asks.

"You can stay with Snowflame and the lesbian ponies, Lyra won’t mind, she’s obsessed with humans."

"OK!"

"But before Snowflame leaves, Rainbow Pony!" Snowflame shouts pointing at Rainbow Dash, "What is the Purple Dragon now?"

"Huh?" Rainbow asks.

"He’s big and awesome, so that makes him…."

"Uhhhh…more awesome?"

"No, your catchphrase!"

"I have a catchphrase?"

"Yes, it’s on shirts and posters and backbacks…it deals with percentages."

"20% Cooler?"

"There you go!"

"How is that my catchphrase? I’ve only said that like 2 or 3 times."

"Because!"

"Okaaay..."

"See you main characters tomorrow maybe. Night!"

"Farewell for now big eyed cartoon horses, the call of the whore that is sleep is calling!" The Warrior shouts. before he and Snowflame walk away dragging their gems behind them.

"Did he just call Princess Luna a whore?" Applejack asked.

"Meh, wouldn’t surprise me, what with being in solitude on the moon for a thousand years." Discord says.

"Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you mister, Even if Spike is in a more capable form, that was still reckless and dangerous to take him." Twilight scolds the choas god.

"Oh look.", Discord points behind them, "Somepony who gives a crap." He then snap and teleports away.

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle...

At the Castle
Celestia is in the tub trying to get the ashes off of herself.
Celestia: ahhh, finally, I am relaxed
Discord appears in the other side of the tub
Discord: Hi Tia, room for one more?
Celestia facehooves (Thinking ‘Buck My Life’)

Celestia is in the tub trying to get the ashes off of herself. "Ahhh, finally, I am relaxed."

Of course that is when Discord appears in the other side of the tub, "Hi Tia, room for one more?"

Celestia facehooves.

Back at the Ponyville Train Station...

"Ughhh. Well girls, let’s go home, we’ll figure this out in the morning."

"Where am I gonna sleep?" Spike asks.

"The guest bed, I think you’ve outgrown your basket."

"Actually Zecora is using that, she’s kind of homeless now."

"What? How?"

"Snowflame blew up her house."

"Of course he did *Sigh* well maybe one of the girls can…"

"MINE!!!" Rarity shouts grabing hold of Spike’s leg, "*ahem* I mean Spike is more than welcome to stay at my place, my bed is more than big enough."

"But…"

"I won’t take no for an answer, come along darling. She starts dragging the dragon while he carries his gems.

"Umm…OK." Spike says though in his mind he's thinking ‘Oh Thank you Discord, I owe you one buddy’

Twilight sighs, "Nothing’s been the same since that hairless ape showed up."

At Lyra and Bon Bon's House...

At Lyra and Bon Bon’s
Warrior: I thought you said I would own this couch, but this seaweed pony is taking my spot
Snowflame: Hmm, she must have done something stupid again. Well you can share Snowflame’s bed
Warrior: Do I look like Goldust to you?
The Warrior picks up Lyra, lays down on the couch and sets her atop his chest like a blanket. She doesn’t wake up.
Snowflame: Well that works
Warrior: Good night my first and only friend, The Warrior will now travel the Destrucity plains of his mind till morning *Skronk* (Falls asleep instantly, though his hands are petting Lyra who smiles in her sleep)
Snowflame goes up to his room and lays down in bed.
Snowflame; Huh, these past two days have been eventful for Snowflame. Snowflame feels like they’ve lasted months though.
He Shrugs and falls asleep.

The Ultamite Warrior and Snowflame stand over a sleeping Lyra on the couch.

"I thought you said I would own this couch, but this seaweed pony is taking my spot!" The Warrior says.

"Hmm, she must have done something stupid again. Well you can share Snowflame’s bed." Snowflame suggests.

"Do I look like Goldust to you?" The Warrior then picks up Lyra, lays down on the couch and sets her atop his chest like a blanket. Which somehow doesn’t wake her up.

"Well that works."

"Good night my first and only friend, The Warrior will now travel the Destrucity plains of his mind till morning *Skronk*" He then falls asleep instantly, though his hands are petting Lyra who smiles in her sleep.

Snowflame goes up to his room and lays down in bed. "Huh, these past two days have been eventful for Snowflame. Snowflame feels like they’ve lasted months though.", He Shrugs and falls asleep.

Meanwhile at Fancy Pants Manor...

Meanwhile, at Fancy Pants manor...
*Outside, a stallions voice is heard through a megaphone* This is the police! If you do not release the hostages, we will storm the building and kill you on sight!
Blueblood: (sweating) Oh no, no no no no no no... this is a disaster...
Disco Dance is now dancing the Macarana, with some hostages.
Zant is rambling on a tale of how he conquered the Twilight realm through mind fuckery and reverse psychology taken up to eleven.
Screwball is now licking Blueblood's face. He seems too worried and scared to notice, though.

At Fancy Pant’s House
Zant: And then he came out of the water temple with the stupidest expression on his face and I blasted him across the room without even moving.
Butler and the others are bored out of their minds
Zant: Oh, I forgot about how I got these powers, so there I was, being rejected by the Church of Scientology…
(Ding Dong)
Disco Dance: Pizza!
Zant: We didn’t order any Joey
Blueblood: OH NO! Someone’s at the door, you all sit still, I’ll check it out
Blueblood looks through the peephole and sees two guards.
Blueblood: Buck!
He runs back into the room
Blueblood: The Law is here, what do we do?
Zant: Well, we can open the door and stab them each in the chest thirty seven times
Blueblood: No!
Screwloose: Bark!
Blueblood: No!
Disco Dance: Sprinkles and Fudge Toppings!
Blueblood: (Banging head against wall) No, No, NO, NO!!!
(Ding Dong)
Blueblood: Alright, act natural. Try to hide them or something, and I’ll try to stall them.
Blueblood answers the door
Blueblood: Hello good sirs, may I help you
Guard: Yes, we’ve had reports that some sort of high pitched noise was heard in this area that caused the neighborhood’s dog’s to start barking. The neighbors think it came from here.
Blueblood: Oh, well…That must have been our gramophone (Smiles Awkwardly) It’s been acting up.
Guard: Mind if we check it out just to be sure?
Blueblood: Well I uh…
Guard’s walk past him
Guard: Thanks
They hear noises coming from the living room and they make their way there while Blueblood tries and fails to stop them. They walk in and Blueblood is about to run when he sees that there is music playing and Disco Dance is doing the Macarena with members of the help, Zant is sitting with the Butler, the gardeners and some maids and they have drinks, Screwloose licks Blueblood’s shocked face.
Guard: Oh, seems like you’re all just having some fun, there’s nothing illegal about this. Just make sure your music doesn’t hit that high note again. Good night Sir.
The guards walk out and shut the door.
Blueblood: How…How?
Zant: I threatened to burn them with this flamethrower (Appears out of Nowhere)
Blueblood: Zant!!!
Zant: What, you never said I couldn’t burn them.
Blueblood: Well you can make them stop, the Fuzz is gone
Zant: But the party is just getting started!
Dancing Maid: Can we please stop dancing?
Disco Dance: NO!

"And then he came out of the water temple with the stupidest expression on his face and I blasted him across the room without even moving." Zant said to the Butler and the others are bored out of their minds, "Oh, I forgot about how I got these powers, so there I was, being rejected by the Church of Scientology…"

The doorbell rings, Disco Dance jumps up and exclaims "Pizza!"

"We didn’t order any Joey."

"OH NO! Someone’s at the door, you all sit still, I’ll check it out." Blueblood says before he looks through the peephole and sees two guards. "Buck!", He runs back into the room and asks, "The gaurds are here, what do we do?"

"Well, we can open the door and stab them each in the chest thirty seven times." Zant suggests.

"No!"

Screwloose barks.

"No!"

"Sprinkles and Fudge Toppings!" Disco Dance shouts.

"No, No, NO, NO!!!"

The doorbell rings again.

"Alright, act natural. Try to hide them or something, and I’ll try to stall them." Blue says walking back to the door which he answers, "Hello good sirs, may I help you?"

"Yes, we’ve had reports that some sort of high pitched noise was heard in this area that caused the neighborhood’s dog’s to start barking. The neighbors think it came from here." One of the guards says.

"Oh, well…That must have been our gramophone. It’s been acting up." The Prince says, smiling awkwardly.

"Mind if we check it out just to be sure?" the other guard ask, Only to walk right past Blueblood before he even gets a chance to respond "Thanks."

They walk in the living room while Blueblood is about ready to make a run for it, when he sees that there is music playing and Disco Dance is doing the Macarena with members of the help, Zant is sitting with the Butler, the gardeners and some maids and they have drinks.

"Oh, seems like you’re all just having some fun, there’s nothing illegal about this. Just make sure your music doesn’t hit that high note again. Good night Sir." One of the guards says before they walk right out and shut the door.

"How…How?" Blueblood asks.

"I threatened to burn them with this flamethrower." Zant says, pulling said flamethrower out of nowhere.

"Zant!"

"What, you never said I couldn’t burn them."

"Well you can make them stop, the Fuzz is gone."

"But the party is just getting started!"

"Can we please stop dancing?" A purple pegasus maid asks.

"NO!" Disco Dance shouts.

Meanwhile in A black hole...

And that's when our mysterious big bads appear.

"Awww man! Did you guys see that fight with the dragon? Awesome!" The first voice exclaims.

"Meh, I dealt with way meaner nasties than that lizard." The second, Scottish voice says.

"This may be harder than we though. No matter, soon enough Snowflame will be in the Wooliehole that he belongs in." The Third Voice says.

"Well we still need to find someone in Equestria to work for us." The fourth, deep voice says.

"Well we already basically set up that it's going to be Blueblood, so why not just beam him up here?" The first voice asks.

"Perhaps, I'll need to think about it."

Dawn of the Third Day (24)

The Next Morning
At Lyra and Bon Bon’s
Snowflame is sleeping peacefully in his bed. Bon Bon wakes up and walks down the stairs to get her day started when she sees a sight that takes her breath away in shock. Lyra is lying on a half naked human (he’s a wrestler and only has the trunks and boots) with her legs wrapped around its neck and its arms are holding her to its body. She has a disheveled mane (Because he was petting her in his sleep) and she has a goofy grin on her face. Bon Bon’s shock gives way to fury.
Bon Bon: WHAT THE BUCK LYRA!!!
Both Lyra and the Warrior awaken at this outburst, so does Snowflame who sits up in his bed upstairs.
Lyra: (Still Sleepy and blinking sleep out of her eyes) Huh? What is it Bonny?
Bon Bon: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!!
Lyra: Do wha…(She looks down and sees the Warrior’s face) Oh Wow another human!
Warrior: Hello sea foam blanket, the candy pony over there woke us up.
Lyra: Oh this is amazing I…
Bon Bon: Don’t you dare ignore me!!!
Lyra: Hey, why are you shouting?
Bon Bon: You know why!!!
Lyra: I…(She looks at the situation from Bon Bon’s perspective. She notices that he’s barely got any clothes on and she is embracing him.) Oh, Bonny I swear to Celestia this is not what it looks like!
Bon Bon: Don’t you try to act innocent with me you harlot!
Lyra: No I swear! (She gets up off the Warrior)
Snowflame comes down the stairs
Snowflame: For the love of Cocaine, what is up with the shouting!
Bon Bon: Lyra is cheating on me with a human!!!
Lyra: I am not!!!
Snowflame: Snowflame…doesn’t know what to say to that (He looks at the Warrior who shakes his head no)
Bon Bon: We have one fight, ONE FIGHT!!! And this is what you do in retaliation?!!!
Lyra: NO!!! If you would just listen to me and stop being stupid, then we could clear this up!!!
Bon Bon: Oh so I’m stupid now am I?!
Lyra: Right now you are! You know perfectly well I would never do something like this, much less with a different species
Bon Bon: Oh right, of course you wouldn’t, except, oh I don’t know, does this sound familiar to you? (Mimicking Lyra’s voice) ‘Come on Bonny, Snowflame is just in the other room, let’s just ask him, I’m sure he would love to join us, it’ll be fun’
Lyra: I WAS DRUNK THAT NIGHT AND YOU KNOW IT!!!
Snowflame: Ok, really didn’t need to know about that. (He walks to the couch while they still yell at each other)
Snowflame: You didn’t do anything did you?
Warrior: No of course not, I do not need to break the barriers of bestiality, I have plenty of groupies in my harem back home!
Snowflame: Nice, Snowflame’s were disintegrated when his tool shed blew up. (Looking back at Lyra and Bon Bon) You see girls he…
Lyra: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!!!
Bon Bon: THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE!!!
Snowflame rolls his eyes and shakes his head
Warrior: Do they do this a lot?
Snowflame: More than you think, but less than you’d hope. Here, help Snowflame calm them.
Lyra and Bon Bon are snarling at each other and very close to ripping each other’s throats out, so Snowflame and the Warrior put them both in a headlock till they fall asleep. Snowflame has Bon Bon and Warrior chokes out Lyra. They place them together on the couch and walk out.
Snowflame: Hopefully they will think it was all a dream
Warrior: You really think they will buy that?
Snowflame: This isn’t the first time Snowflame had to choke them out. But anyway, let’s get these jewels to the library, that way Snowflame can finally have a lab to start pumping out his precious white powder.
Warrior: I WANT PANCAKES!!!! GIVE ME PANCAKES!!!
Snowflame: Snowflame wants some too, we’ll go to the pink pony after we drop this off.
Warrior: I WANNA MAKE SWEET SUGARY LOVE TO AUNT JEMIMA NOW!!!!
Snowflame: Ugh, fine, the pink pony lives in the gingerbread house down that way (Points) Snowflame will meet up with you later
Warrior: Prepare for the Breakfast Smackdown of the ages you fluffy delicious treats (He runs off).
Snowflame: Wow, does Snowflame sound like that to others?...Meh (Shrugs)

The Next Morning, At Lyra and Bon Bon’s...

Bon Bon wakes up and walks down the stairs to get her day started when she sees a sight that takes her breath away in shock. Lyra is lying on a half naked human with her legs wrapped around its neck and its arms are holding her to its body. She has a disheveled mane and she has a goofy grin on her face. Bon Bon’s shock gives way to fury. "WHAT THE BUCK LYRA!"

Both Lyra and the Warrior awaken at this outburst, so does Snowflame who sits up in his bed upstairs.

"Huh? What is it Bonny?" Lyra asks still tried.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"

"Do wha…" She looks down and sees The Warrior, "Oh Wow another human!"

"Hello sea foam blanket, the candy pony over there woke us up." The Warrior says.

"Oh this is amazing I…"

"Don’t you dare ignore me!" Bon Bon shouts.

"Hey, why are you shouting?"

"You know why!"

"I…", She looks at the situation from Bon Bon’s perspective. She notices that he’s barely got any clothes on and she was embracing him, "Oh, Bonny I swear to Celestia this is not what it looks like!"

"Don’t you try to act innocent with me you harlot!"

"No I swear!", She gets up off The Warrior.

Snowflame comes down the stairs, "For the love of Cocaine, what is up with the shouting!"

"Lyra is cheating on me with a human!" Bon Bon shouts.

"I am not!" Lyra shouts back.

"Snowflame…doesn’t know what to say to that.", He looks at the Warrior who shakes his head no.

"We have one fight, ONE FIGHT!!! And this is what you do in retaliation?!" Bon Bon shouts.

"NO! If you would just listen to me and stop being stupid, then we could clear this up!" Lyra shouts.

"Oh so I’m stupid now am I?!"

"Right now you are! You know perfectly well I would never do something like this, much less with a different species!"

"Oh right, of course you wouldn’t, except, oh I don’t know, does this sound familiar to you?.", she starts mimicking Lyra’s voice, ‘Come on Bonny, Snowflame is just in the other room, let’s just ask him, I’m sure he would love to join us, it’ll be fun’"

"I WAS DRUNK THAT NIGHT AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"Ok, really didn’t need to know about that." Snowflame as he walks to the couch while they still yell at each other. "You didn’t do anything did you?"

"No of course not, I do not need to break the barriers of bestiality, I have plenty of groupies in my harem back home!" The Warrior says.

"Nice, Snowflame’s were disintegrated when his tool shed blew up." He looks back at Lyra and Bon Bon, "You see girls he…"

"I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!" Lyra shouts.

"THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE!" Bon Bon shouts back.

Snowflame rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"Do they do this a lot?" The Warrior asks.

"More than you think, but less than you’d hope. Here, help Snowflame calm them." Snowflame said.

Lyra and Bon Bon are snarling at each other and very close to ripping each other’s throats out, Snowflame and The Warrior grab both of put them both in a headlock till they fall asleep. They place them together on the couch and walk out.

"Hopefully they will think it was all a dream." Snowflame says.

"You really think they will buy that?" The Warrior asks.

"This isn’t the first time Snowflame had to choke them out. But anyway, let’s get these jewels to the library, that way Snowflame can finally have a lab to start pumping out his precious white powder."

"I WANT PANCAKES!!!! GIVE ME PANCAKES!!!"

"Snowflame wants some too, we’ll go to the pink pony after we drop this off."

"I WANNA MAKE SWEET SUGARY LOVE TO AUNT JEMIMA NOW!"

"Ugh, fine, the pink pony lives in the gingerbread house you can't miss it, Snowflame will meet up with you later."

"Prepare for the Breakfast Smackdown of the ages you fluffy delicious treats! The Warrior runs off runs off.

"Wow, does Snowflame sound like that to others?...Meh."

Snowflame wheels his cart to the Library. Along the way, he passes Carousal Boutique which seems to be shaking with muffled moans coming out of it. A baggy eyed neighbor is looking at it and muttering
Neighbor: All Night…Luna help me, they haven’t stopped all night.
Snowflame smirks then walks on by.
He eventually gets to the library door and knocks. Twilight opens up the door, she doesn’t look like she’s slept either.
Twilight: Oh, it’s you (Bitter)
Snowflame: Of course it is, this is Snowflame’s story. Now on to business (He walks into the library and spots Zecora) Fire up the ovens Rhyming Zebra, we got a big order to fill (He smiles mischeviously).

Snowflame wheels his cart to the Library. Along the way, he passes Carousal Boutique which seems to be shaking with muffled moans coming out of it. A baggy eyed neighbor is looking at it and muttering "All Night…Luna help me, they haven’t stopped all night."

Snowflame smirks then walks on by. He eventually gets to the library door and knocks. Twilight opens up the door, she doesn’t look like she’s slept either.

"Oh, it’s you." She says bitterly.

"Of course it is, this is Snowflame’s story. Now on to business.", He walks into the library and spots Zecora., "Fire up the ovens Rhyming Zebra, we got a big order to fill!" He smiles mischeviously.

Snowflame:
Discover that Twilight does not have all of the necessary materials for making cocaine. Sure you have all the funds, but you don't have all the supplies you need just yet. Luckily, having seen every single episode of Breaking Bad (What, sure it's Meth and not Cocaine, but how could a supervillain like you NOT watch that show, plus it is a good show, you have to admit), you have a pretty good idea of what you need to get.
So, with that in mind, you make your next quest to go out and find those supplies. For whatever reason, you think that Pinkie Pie might have some, or know where you can get some (they are normal enough to pass for nothing, she should know), and since you were going to meet the Ultimate arrior at Sugarcube Corner anyway, it all works out.

"Oh no." Twilight says, "Zecora told me that what you plan on doing with my equipment. No way am I letting you." Twilight says.

"Why not, Snowflame just wants to bring his god to you cute and cuddly ponies." Snowflame says.

"No. Besides Zecora said that you don't even know how to make cocaine."

"True, and since KenSES64 hasn't seen Breaking Bad and has no interest into watching it, so if he hasn't then Snowflame hasn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"The author. Well see you later nerdy alicorn. Snowflame will be having breakfast." Snowflame grabs his cart and walks off.

Zecora:
After Snowflame leaves, ask Twilight just who in the hell Flash Sentry is.

Zecora walks up to Twilight and says, "Miss Twilight if you don't mind telling me, but who is this Flash Sentry?"

Twilight just starts blushing.

Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner...

At Sugar Cube Corner
Pinkie: …And then I was like, Oh My Gosh, a BBQ, I can’t Wait, so then they took their gems and left and then Rarity was like, ‘Spike is Mine’, then she dragged him away for adult fun and then Twilight was all gloomy, and then we all went to bed then woke up now.
Obito:…Wow, So this human took out half of downtown Canterlot and Killed a dragon? I can’t believe I tried to kill him. And now there are two (He shudders).
Pinkie: Yep, you’re lucky the commenters didn’t have him get rid of you.
Obito: Who are…
(The Ultimate Warrior Busts in through the front door with his jewels behind him)
Warrior: The Warrior demands the immediate satisfaction of his stomach, and only the heavenly fluffy bodies of flapjacks will suffice!
Obito is shocked
Pinkie: Okie Dokie Lokie :pinkiehappy:

Warrior:
Put some whipped cream on your pancakes. Why? CAUSE IT'S GOD DAMN DELICIOUS AND A GENIUS IDEA, SHUT UP!!!!!!

"…And then I was like, Oh My Gosh, a BBQ, I can’t Wait, so then they took their gems and left and then Rarity was like, ‘Spike is Mine’, then she dragged him away for adult fun and then Twilight was all gloomy, and then we all went to bed then woke up now." Pinkie says to Obito.

"Wow, So this human took out half of downtown Canterlot and Killed a dragon? I can’t believe I tried to kill him. And now there are two. " Obito responds shuddering.

"Yep, you’re lucky the commenters didn’t have him get rid of you."

"Who are…"

The Ultimate Warrior Busts in through the front door with his jewels behind him. "The Warrior demands the immediate satisfaction of his stomach, and only the heavenly fluffy bodies of flapjacks with whipped cream will suffice!"

Pinkie smiles and says, "Okie Dokie Lokie."

Meanwhile at the Carousel Boutique...

Rarity:
If what I read is to be accurate, you just did it with someone who technically is still underage. How do you feel right now?

Rarity thinks about it for a second, but then decides it doesn't matter, Spike is now Bruce Campbell, age is invalid :raritywink:

Rarity lays next no a sleeping Spike and thinks 'Well, he is still technically underage, should I feel bad about myself? Well the way he is now age could be considered invalid.'

Meahwhile at Derpy's...

And then the Doctah and Derpy were in bed. Teh Und.

At Derpy’s
She wakes up to find she is resting her head on “Time Turner’s” Chest. There is no mystery to what they did last night.
Derpy: (Thinking) So he’s my second, but he’s been around for over a thousand years, wonder what number I am to him? (She shudders at the Thought)
Time Turner for some reason is dreaming about how he should buy a fez.

Derpy wakes up to find she is resting her head on “Time Turner’s” Chest. There is no mystery to what they did last night. She thinks to herself, 'So he’s my second, but he’s been around for over a thousand years, wonder what number I am to him?.', She shudders at the Thought.

"Time Turner" for some reason is dreaming about how he should buy a fez.

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle...

At the Castle
Luna looks at the morning paper and spits out her coffee, the front page details the human’s fight, but below it is an article on how Prince Blueblood and other inmates escaped from the Asylum. She runs to Celestia’s room and bangs on the door
Luna: Sister, we have a problem that needs to be dealt with.
The door opens and Discord walks out yawning, which shocks Luna.
Discord: Morning Lulu (keeps walking to kitchen)
Luna looks back to the door and sees Celestia with a disheveled mane and an intense look of shame upon her face.
Luna: uhhhhh….
Celestia: NOT…A…WORD! (Intense Whisper)

Luna looks at the morning paper and spits out her tea, the front page details the human’s fight, but below it is an article on how Prince Blueblood and other inmates escaped from the Asylum. Knowing that this cloud be a bad situation, she runs to Celestia’s room and bangs on the door. "Sister, we have a problem that needs to be dealt with."

The door opens and Discord walks out in a pink bathrobe, yawning. "Morning Lulu." He says while he keeps walking to kitchen.

Luna looks back to the door and sees Celestia with a disheveled mane and an intense look of shame upon her face.

"Uhhhhh…. Sister?"
.

"NOT…A…WORD!" Celestia says with an intense whisper.

Luna:
Don't care what Celestia just said, ask how she got into this situation. And yes, it is exactly what it looks like. They really did do it last night. Discord is not there to comment cause he out on the streets gathering information, as he promised that he would do.

"I would ask what happened, but I'm sure it is exactly what it looks like, we got a situation here." Luna says to Celestia.

Discord:
Be this pony while you are gathering information, it will make you less conspicuous.

Discord after grabbing a bagel, decides to help with what he promised Snowflame and to go around Canterlot looking for any information on who sent the first assassin to kill Snowflame. Though he may draw some attention in his normal self, so he snaps his figures and a cloud of smoke forms around him. When the smoke clears he is now in the form of a brown unicorn stallion with a grey mane, tail and goatee, eye eyes, a scroll for a cutie mark, and wearing a blue suit with a green bow tie. He smiles and says, "Ha fanservice."

At Fancy Pants Manor...

At Fancy Pants Manor
Blueblood wakes up to Screwloose licking his face
Blueblood: Eww, Stop that.
He looks around and sees broken furniture, empty beer cans and pizza boxes, and other after party messes. There are however, no servants, just Zant and Disco Dance eating waffles.
Blueblood: Zant! Where are the house servants?
Zant: Oh don’t worry my lord, I took care of them.
Blueblood: Oh Celestia, you didn’t?
Zant: No of course not, I just sent them away.
Blueblood: Oh thanks goodness (sighs in relief, then thinks for a minute) Wait, WHAT?!! Zant, they’ve seen our faces, they’ll get guards and…
Zant: Oh don’t worry about that my lord, I sent them to Mexicolt
Somewhere in Mexicolt
The house servants are crowded into a tiny house surrounded by burros, it belongs to the family of the donkey maid that answered the door.
Maid: This my uncle’s place, you clean if you want to sleep here
Butler: We should get some guards or contact Mr. Fancy Pants and tell them about those insane ponies though!
Maid: Noooo, nooo, you clean now.
Back at the Manor
Blueblood: Oh
Zant: But that doesn’t matter right now, because it appears Midna has followed me.
Blueblood: Who?
Zant: Midna, the Twilight Princess, I turned her into an imp and took her throne, but then she blew me up. She never forgave me for eating her dog in kindergarten.
Disco Dance: Crunchy! Crunchy!
Blueblood: Uhhh…
Zant: Anyway, she’s clearly here and not even trying to hide herself, I mean seriously? Princess Twilight? As if that would fool me.
(Zant is looking at a picture of her in the paper, he then closes it showing the front page headline and the article about their escape which shocks Blueblood)
Zant: So what do you say my lord? To Ponyville?
Blueblood: Ummm, yes, let’s go there. She may have a bodyguard in that town though, looks like a hairless monkey, you should blow him up too.
Zant: Why would I blow up her bodyguard? I’m only going to say hello, it’s been far too long since we've seen each other.
Blueblood: But…
Zant: Anyway, to the train station!
Blueblood: Wait, why don’t you just teleport us?
Zant: I Like Trains

Blueblood wakes up to Screwloose licking his face, "Eww, Stop that!" He shouts at her. He looks around and sees broken furniture, empty beer cans and pizza boxes, and other after party messes. There are however, no servants, just Zant and Disco Dance eating waffles. "Zant! Where are the house servants?"

"Oh don’t worry my lord, I took care of them."

"Oh Celestia, you didn’t?"

"No of course not, I just sent them away."

"Oh thanks goodness." He sighs in relief, then thinks for a minute, "Wait, WHAT?!! Zant, they’ve seen our faces, they’ll get guards and…"

"Oh don’t worry about that my lord, I sent them to Mexicolt."

Somewhere in Mexicolt

The house servants are crowded into a tiny house surrounded by burros, it belongs to the family of the donkey maid that answered the door.

"This my uncle’s place, you clean if you want to sleep here." The Donkey maid says to the other servants.

"We should get some guards or contact Mr. Fancy Pants and tell them about those insane ponies though!" The Butler says.

"Noooo, nooo, you clean now."

Back at the Manor...

"Oh..." Blueblood simply says.

"But that doesn’t matter right now, because it appears Midna has followed me."

"Who?"

"Midna, the Twilight Princess, I turned her into an imp and took her throne, but then she blew me up. She never forgave me for eating her dog in kindergarten."

"Crunchy! Crunchy!" Disco Dance Shouts.

"Uhhh…" Is all Blueblood can say.

"Anyway, she’s clearly here and not even trying to hide herself, I mean seriously? Princess Twilight? As if that would fool me." Zant says, looking at a picture of Princess Twilight Sparkle in the paper, he then closes it showing the front page headline and the article about their escape which shocks Blueblood. "So what do you say my lord? To Ponyville?"

"Ummm, yes, let’s go there. She may have a bodyguard in that town though, looks like a hairless monkey, you should blow him up too."

"Why would I blow up her bodyguard? I’m only going to say hello, it’s been far too long since we've seen each other."

"But…"

"Anyway, to the train station!"

"Wait, why don’t you just teleport us?"

"I Like Trains."

Here You Go Razor (25)

Snowflame, having been denied his chance for cocaine distribution starts to think of alternatives. He thinks that maybe Discord can help later. He puts these thoughts aside as he realizes he is really in the mood for some delicious pancakes. The Warrior’s enthusiasm for them earlier has infected him.
He sings this aloud as he walks Sugarcube Corner

Along the way he sees Derpy and “Time Turner”
Snowflame: Hi fan favorite and time machine pony (waves)
“Time Turner”: (Shocked) What in the world was that?
Derpy: Oh that’s just Snowflame, he’s a human from another dimension
“Time Turner”: Oh…What did he mean by time machine pony?
Derpy:….I have no idea
Snowflame enters Sugar Cube Corner where he sees the Ultimate Warrior with countless empty syrup covered plates surrounding him and his table while other patrons look slightly afraid of him
Warrior: The Warrior demands more battered breakfast treats to indulge his sweet syrupy whores Jemima and Buttersworth!!!
Pinkie: Sorry Mr. Warrior, you ate all the pancakes
Snowflame: aaawwww man
Warrior: Then bring me the crunchy square pancakes with heavenly syrup containers otherwise known as Waffles!
Pinkie: Okie Dokie Lokie!
Snowflame: Snowflame could go for some of those too, though Snowflame still wishes he had pancakes
Pinkie: Sure thing Snowfy
Snowflame takes a seat
Snowflame: You should slow down, you’ll spoil your appetite for Dragon BBQ later.
Warrior: Nonsense, my stomach is a vast and expansive wasteland full of boxes, I can eat all the Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinners, just because you can’t eat them all doesn’t mean I can’t!
Snowflame feels like he is being called out
Snowflame: Oh Yeah?! Snowflame will show you, Snowflame will eat 50 Waffles, AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
Obito walks out to bring more syrup while Pinkie get’s 100 waffles ready
Snowflame: Oh hai assassin pony, Snowflame sees the pink pony straightened you out
Obito is a bit nervous
Obito: umm…yes
Warrior: You are the clawed Assassin? Ha! The Warrior could use you as a toothpick
Obito: uuuhhhhh….
Snowflame: Easy kid, Snowflame won’t hurt you (Pulls his head down and whispers into his ear menacingly) unless you do anything to the Pink Pony, and Snowflame means Anything, then Snowflame will do horrible unspeakable things to you that this story will have to add a Dark Tag to it, (Let’s his head go) So we cool (Smiles)
Obito: Oh yeah! (Gulp) Definitely (Smiles awkwardly) Besides, I saw what you both did in the paper
(Holds up Paper and Snowflame unfolds it and puts it on the table) and both Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior laugh at that
Snowflame: ha ha ha…Good times
Warrior: I liked it when we fought in the club
Obito: Ya, so I’m not gonna try anything, like ever again
Snowflame: Don’t worry, it’s your employer Snowflame is going to demolish with his new friend here, we have someone looking around for him right now

"Snowflame wants waffles!!!"
"..."
"..."
"Okie Dokie Lokie!"
"Yes, bring Snowflame the waffles!"

Snowflame, having been denied his chance for cocaine distribution starts to think of alternatives. He thinks that maybe Discord can help later. He puts these thoughts aside as he realizes he is really in the mood for some delicious pancakes. The Warrior’s enthusiasm for them earlier has infected him. He desides to sing aloud as he walks Sugarcube Corner, "Bacon pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes,
Take some bacon and Snowflame'll put it in a pancake,
Bacon pancakes, that's what it's gonna make,
Bacon pancake!"

Along the way he sees Derpy and “Time Turner”, "Hi fan favorite and time machine pony." He says waving.

“Time Turner” is shocked and asks Derpy, "What in the world was that?"

"Oh that’s just Snowflame, he’s a human from another dimension." His fiancee tells him.

"Oh…What did he mean by time machine pony?"

"I have no idea."

Snowflame enters Sugar Cube Corner where he sees the Ultimate Warrior with countless empty syrup covered plates surrounding him and his table while other patrons look slightly afraid of him

"The Warrior demands more battered breakfast treats to indulge his sweet syrupy whores Jemima and Buttersworth!" The Warrior shouts, slamming a fist upon the table.

"Sorry Mr. Warrior, you ate all the pancakes." Pinkie Pie says.

"Aaaawwww man." Snowflame says saddened.

"Then bring me the crunchy square pancakes with heavenly syrup containers otherwise known as Waffles!" The Warrior demands.

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie says.

"Snowflame could go for some of those too, though Snowflame still wishes he had pancakes." Snowflame states.

"Sure thing Snowfy" Pinkie then bounces off.

Snowflame takes a seat next to The Ultimate Warrior, "You should slow down, you’ll spoil your appetite for Dragon BBQ later."

"Nonsense, my stomach is a vast and expansive wasteland full of boxes, I can eat all the Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinners, just because you can’t eat them all doesn’t mean I can’t!" The Warrior explains.

Snowflame feels like he is being called out and says "Oh Yeah?! Snowflame will show you, Snowflame will eat 50 Waffles, AT THE SAME TIME!!!!"

That's when Obito walks out to bring more syrup while Pinkie get’s 100 waffles ready.

"Oh hai assassin pony, Snowflame sees the pink pony straightened you out."

"Umm…yes." Obito says sounding a bit nervous

"You are the clawed Assassin? Ha! The Warrior could use you as a toothpick!" The Warrior says laughing.

"Uuuhhhhh…." Is the only reaction that Obito can make.

"Easy kid, Snowflame won’t hurt you, any more than he already has" Snowflame says before he pulls his head down and menacingly whispers into Obito's ear, "Unless you do anything to the Pink Pony, and Snowflame means Anything, then Snowflame will do horrible unspeakable things to you that this story will have to add a Dark Tag to it." He brings his head back up, "So we cool?"

"Oh yeah! *Gulp* Definitely Besides, I saw what you both did in the paper." he then holds up paper with his magic and Snowflame takes it, unfolds it and puts it on the table. Both Snowflame and The Ultimate Warrior laugh at that.

Snowflame laughs and says, "Good times."

"I liked it when we fought in the club." The Warrior says.

"Ya, so I’m not gonna try anything, like ever again." Obito says.

"Don’t worry, it’s your employer Snowflame is going to demolish with his new friend here, we have someone looking around for him right now." Snowflame tells the Ex-Assassin.

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Discord:
Since you are more than likely about to go on a montage of information gathering, some 80's montage music seems necessary right now. I recommend this.

Meanwhile Discord does the wandering montage like Razor said, he finds it hard to get information since a lot of ponies kind of hate Snowflame now since he wrecked quite a few stores, until he comes across Vinyl and Octavia who give him details about how Blueblood was talking about Snowflame.
Discord: Well that sounds promising
Teleports to Sugar Cube Corner
Discord: Hi Snowflame, I think I know who hired the assassin, it was

Discord, still in the form of ponified John De Lancie, walks around Canterlot talking to as many ponies as he can, trying to find if he can get any information on who would hire somepony to kill Snowflame, though the responses he got were mostly something like, "Well it's a good thing that someponies trying to get rid of that creature.", so yeah, it turns out that ponies don't like it if you destroy half of downtown Canterlot, go figure.

"Seriously, why did they have to destroy the sex shop?" One stallion said to him, who looked like a stereotypical loser, overweight, pimples, neckbeard, balding, and he probably liked stuff meant for little fillies, "I mean now where will I get that new issue of Plotz Monthly?"

"Why do you even need porn mags?" Discord asks in a monotone voice, "What's the point? Ponies are normal naked." Discord said, though he felt weird saying this, since he was pointing out logic in something, and he wasn't sure why.

The loser pony eyes widened and he says, "By Celestia I've wasted my money. Well I'm off to stare at some plot!" He said trotting off.

"Well I want to bleach that guy out of my memory." Discord says to himself as he sees to mares walking by, one a white unicorn, the other a grey earth pony. "Excuse me ladies, I'm looking for someone who tried to have a friend of mine killed. Do you know anypony who might want someone named Snowflame dead?"

"Snowflame?" The grey mare asked.

"Oh the ape guy." The white one says, "He crashed into my gig yesterday fighting some other ape, it was awesome."

"An ape you say?" The grey mare asks, "Wait Vinyl, didn't hooded stallion who came to our apartment the other day say something about an ape."

"Oh yeah, I think so. While you were beating him with my bass. I wonder who that guy was? You got any idea's Tavi?"

"You know, now that I think of it he sounded a lot like Prince Blueblood." Octavia then looks and Discord and says, "Maybe he's the one you're looking for."

Discord nods and says, "Thanks you ladies.", before he teleports away to Ponyville.

Back at Sugarcube Corner...

"Ha! You thought that you could defeat me, Snowflame?!" Snowflame shouts, having eaten more waffles than The Warrior.

"I am a bit disapointed in myself, but good game, my friend!" The Warrior responds.

That's when with a flash of light Discord appears, back in his normal form, and say, "I think I know who hired the first assassin."

Meanwhile at Rarity's...

Spike:
You just slept with Rarity. How does that make you feel?

At Rarity’s
Spike wakes up and sees her sleeping, she won’t have any energy for awhile. He thinks about how he’ll repay Discord. Maybe he’ll give him the diaries of all the girls (Except Rarity, he still wants to keep getting laid) He decides to go get breakfast and begins walking to Sugarcube Corner since he has the combined stamina of a dragon and Bruce Campbell and isn’t even tired. Rarity will sleep until nightfall where she will be extremely sore.

Spike wakes up, seeing that Rarity has fallen asleep and he thinks to himself, 'Well Spike you did it, you slept with Rarity, was it as great as you though it would be? HELL BUCKING YES! I really am going to need to repay Discord in some way.'

Spike leans over an gives her a small peck on the cheek before walking out to see the others.

Back at Canterlot Castle...

Celestia:
After Luna leaves, realize that Discord was the best you've had in well...... however long it's been since you've last done it, and that is saying something.
Luna:
With all the implied sex that seems to have happened in this chapter. Secretly get jealous.
YOU WERE ON THE MOON FOR 1000 YEARS WHEN IS IT GONNA BE YOUR TURN!!!?????

At the Castle, Celestia is still feeling intense amount of shame, not only because of what she did with Discord, but because she really did enjoy it. She feels like she should go sit in the shame car. Luna is a bit jealous (Since she’s been celibate on the freaking moon for a thousand years), but now she can throw this situation in Celestia’s face whenever she wants

After Luna leaves, after telling Celestia about Blueblood's escape from the mental hospital, Celestia just sat in her bed feeling ashamed about herself, 'How could it have done something like that? With Discord out of anypony? And how could I have even enjoyed that? No wait, I didn't enjoy it, I love every me damned second of it. Letting him trust, wrapping my legs around him, begging for more. I need some serious time to think about this.'

Out in the hall way Luna was smiling at how she could easily bring this up to miss with her sister, though at the same time was kinda jealous since she hasn't been with anypony since her banishment to the moon, well she did almost sleep with one of her lunar guards, but...

Three Months Ago, In Luna's Bedroom...

"DOES THOU LIKE THEE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT'S MOUTH AROUND THEE'S THROBBING PONY MEMBER?!!!

...yeah.

At Fancypant's Manor...

Blueblood:
Okay, for Zant, that is kind of the last straw. He's been... well, you know how he's been. Ever since you all escaped from the mental asylum. So do what you do best. Get Angry. Get REALLY Angry and start yelling at them.
Yell at them about how YOU are in charge here and they should be doing what YOU say, cause YOU are the important one here.
During your tirade of rage, give a quick recap of all the insane sh*t that happened to get you in the situation and why you are doing what it is you are doing in the first place.
However, since it's you, during your tirade, accidentally tell them that the real reason you are doing this is to compensate for your minuscule penis size.
Zant: I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR PENIS MY LORD!
Blueblood:
Suddenly realize what you, and Zant just said. However, given who you just told it too, they're probably gonna forget it in a moment anyway. Still...
"Yeah, please don't ever say that again."
Yes, this was all a setup just so I could make that joke. :pinkiehappy:
What, it works for Blueblood.

Meanwhile at the Legion of Doom (Fancy Pants Manor)
Blueblood does what Razor said, laying down the law to the others and getting Zant in line (Sort of) but also letting slip about his minuscule penis size.
But also Disco Dance sings Itsy Bitsy spider after what Blueblood says
Zant: Can I still say hello to Midna when we get there though my lord?
Blueblood: ….Sure (frustrated and embarrassed)

"Okay Zant that is enough!" Blueblood shouts at the crazy stallion, "May I remind you that I am calling the shots here?!
You're going to do what I say, when I say it! For Celestia's sake, I wouldn't even be in this situation if it weren't for that ape Snowflame. Who does he think he is ruining my amazing coat. Do you know how hard it is to work on a get coat like the one I had?! I need my good looks to distract mare from my really small penis and..."

"I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR PENIS MY LORD!" Zant shouts.

Blueblood's eye widened as he realizes what both he and Zant just said and says, "Please don't say that ever again, and just teleport us to Ponyville."

"Can I still say hello to Midna while we're there?" Zant asks.

"Sure, fine, whatever." Blueblood says, as Zants horn lit up, and with a flash of light the four of them were gone.

In the Black Hole...

In the Black Hole
The voices have a laugh at the slip of the tongue that Blueblood had. They agree that with a penis that small, he would be very useful in overcompensating and taking revenge on Snowflame. They won’t even have to interfere, just sit back and watch since he’s already on a beeline for him.

The first voice is laughing his ass off when he finally says, "Oh man did you hear what he said?"

"Indeed, seems that the pony prince has the wee men." The second voice says.

"Yes, humorous, though it seems that he's going to Ponyville now." The third voice points out.

"It seems we won't even have to do anything." The fourth voice says, "Perfect."

Author's Note

Some of you may have noticed that I let out the parts with Obito recognizing Blueblood as he one that hired him. The reason being is because if you recall Obito didn't see Blueblood's face, so it wouldn't make since if that happened. I mean if he did, Chapters 9-23 would of been completely pointless. So yeah.

I'm Back Baby! (26)

In our universe somewhere in Connecticut...

KenSES64 gets out from under his bed with a remote in hand. "Okay now I guess I can unpause the Snowflame universe. Now if only I could find my copy of Animal Crossing: New Leaf and I won't have anything else missing. I swear by the time I find it everyone in town that I knew probably would be gone." KenSES64 sighs and says, "Oh well let's fine this universe."

KenSES64 pushes a button on the remote and..

Meanwhile in a Universe Where Every Hero and Villain's roles are swiched...

"Hey dude I just got Super Bowser 3D World." a random human male said to his friend.

"Cool I'm going to get Dr. Eggman: Lost World." His friend said.

Some guy listening on there conversation says to themselves, "Losers playing on there Wii Us I'm going to go buy Joker Arkham Origins."

Meanwhile in a Universe Where Everypony Speaks Russian...

"Эй Бон Бон." Lyra said to Bon Bon.

"да лира?" Bon Bon asked.

"Как вы думаете, кто читает это будет выглядеть, чтобы увидеть, что мы говорим?" Lyra asked.

"Я не знаю. Может быть."

"Так ты хочешь заниматься сексом?"

"Мех, почему нет."

Meanwhile in a Universe were Discord is a Post Office...

Discord just sat there unable to leave the post office he was confined to. The only pony that could see him was a pegasus mare by the name of Derpy Hooves, which wasn't too bad, but there was only so much he could put up with.

"Seriously Celestia I'm sorry! Is that what you want to hear?!" Discord shouts, but he doesn't get a response, he will forever remain a place of order. His worst nightmare.

Meanwhile in a Universe Where Pie Stealing is as Illegal as Murder and Executions are Done with ants...

A African-American Man with dreadlocks sits in an execution room, strapped to the chair.

"Any last words Mr. Woolie?" The Executioner asked.

""Whens Mahvel?" Woolie asked.

"Not today." The Executioner said as he took out a jar with a poison ant inside, and put said ant onto Woolie's arm.

"So worth it." Woolie said as the ant bit down on him, "So worth it."

Meanwhile in a Universe Where People Read More of KenSES64's non-Snowflame stories...

KenSES64 looks at his FiMFiction page where people are recognizing him as more than "that Snowflame guy", and Ken smiles, thinking that he is truely a good writer.

Meanwhile in a Universe Where Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sound Like Men...

Meanwhile in a Universe were Everypony Speaks Backwards...

"Nob nob yeh." Lyra said.

"Aryl sey?" Bon Bon asked.

"Eno naissur eht sa ekoj emas eht siht t'nsi?"

"Yllacisab."

Meanwhile in a Universe Were Pokemon are Real and KenSES64 has an Espurr...

Ken sits down at his laptop and says, "Well time to get to writing Snowflame.", Ken looks up to see a bipedal grey cat staring at him, "Oh hi Espurr what's up?"

"Okay nevermind then." Ken says getting back to work on his writing.

Meanwhile in this Fic's Universe...

Snowflame, Warrior, Discord and Obito
Now that breakfast has been finished, the four of you all sit down together and discuss what you now know. Just so that everyone here is on the same page. Somepony tried to have Snowflame killed, and we now know that the pony is the infamous Prince Blueblood. So with that in mind, you all discuss what you are going to do next.
Which is of course to come to the obvious conclusion that you need to find Blueblood and beat the snot out of him. Obviously.
Where and how to begin this though is still up for discussion.
Obito
Join up with Snowflame and The Warrior. Even though you're reformed, it's been a while since you've really gotten to kick some flank, and despite all things, you are still an assassin. You still have skills. Plus, it seems best for you to stay on Snowflame's good side right now, and this seems like the best way to do that. Plus, did Blueblood ever pay you for the job you did so far (even though you failed)? Contemplate that for a moment.

Snowflame and The Ultimate Warrior speak to Discord
Discord: So I found out from two musicians that Prince Blueblood of all ponies was probably the one who hired the first assassin
Snowflame: The asshat pony that everybody universally hates? Huh, Snowflame feels like he should have figured that out sooner
Discord: Well he is pretty much a sniveling little bitch, but why would he try to have you killed?
Snowflame: Snowflame duct taped him to the ceiling at the big dance party
Discord: Ha, Classic (Smiles)
Warrior: (Belches from all the waffles) Now we have our target’s name, we will make this Prince Blueblood piss blood for the rest of his life!
Discord: Well I didn’t say for sure, but it is a pretty good lead
Snowflame: It doesn’t matter, the fans love seeing him hurt and humiliated, we will stomp him regardless, but there is a good way to find out, HEY MASKED CLAW PONY!!!!
Obito runs to the table in fear
Obito: Yes?
Snowflame: Do you think that the douchebag prince pony was the one who hired you?
Obito: Well I never saw his face, he was wearing a cloak, but he did sound pompous as tartarus
Discord: Well that’s more than enough proof for me
Obito: If you don’t mind, I would like to join you
Snowflame: Oh really? And tell Snowflame why?
Obito: Well, I do still want to make it up to you for the whole trying to kill you thing.
The Warrior snorts humorously at that statement
Obito: Plus, he never did pay me for the job, so I figure I’m due a few bits
Snowflame: Snowflame thought the Pink Pony was reforming you though?
Obito: She is, but I still got useful skills, plus I really need to get out of this bakery for awhile
Snowflame: Why?
Obito: Uhh…

Snowflame, The Ultimate Warrior and Discord all sit at a table.

"So I found out from two musicians that Prince Blueblood of all ponies was probably the one who hired the first assassin." Discord tells the two humans

"The asshat pony that everybody universally hates? Huh, Snowflame feels like he should have figured that out sooner." Snowflame says a little mad at himself.

"Well he is pretty much a sniveling little bitch, but why would he try to have you killed?"

"Snowflame duct taped him to the ceiling at the big dance party. Snowflame had not much better to do after the lesbian pony's performance so Snowflame thought 'why not?'."

"Ha, Classic. Also isn't why not the best reason to do anything?"

The Warrior belches from all the waffles and says, "Now we have our target’s name, we will make this Prince Blueblood piss blood for the rest of his life!"

"Well I didn’t say for sure, but it is a pretty good lead, and by that I mean it's the only one we have."

"It doesn’t matter, the fans love seeing him hurt and humiliated, we will stomp him regardless, but there is a good way to find out, HEY MASKED CLAW PONY!" Snowflame calls

Obito runs to the table in fear of what might happen is he didn't, "Y-Y-Yes?"

"Do you think that the douchebag prince pony was the one who hired you?"

"Well I never saw his face, he was wearing a cloak, but he did sound pompous as tartarus."

"Well that could be most of Canterlot really, but since Blueblood is the biggest douche among douches that’s more than enough proof for me." Discord said.

"If you don’t mind, I would like to join you."

"Oh really? And tell Snowflame why?" Snowflame said crossing his arms.

"Well, I do still want to make it up to you for the whole trying to kill you thing.", The Warrior snorts humorously when Obito makes that statement, "Plus, he never did pay me for the job, so I figure I’m due a few bits. Even if I failed."

"Snowflame thought the Pink Pony was reforming you though?"

"She is, but I still got useful skills, plus I really need to get out of this bakery for awhile."

"Why?"

"Uhh…" Obito says with a blush.

A Few Minutes Ago...

Pinkie Pie
All this talk of adult fun has left you feeling a bit in the mood yourself, but alas, there are no stallions around for you to have some fun with. At least, none that aren't already married or in a relationship, and you certainly aren't about to impose on anypony. You aren't like that, especially with that sort of thing. Then again, there is Obito.... After everything he seems... nice, and he is available, as far as you know.
Contemplate this as you make more waffles.

A few minutes ago
Pinkie is contemplating aloud to Obito how a lot of shipping has been taking place.
Pinkie: It’s kind of weird, Discord is with Celestia, Spike is with Rarity, Derpy is marrying that Time Turner Doctor, heck even Trixie ended up with Iron Will, seems like everyone is getting paired off and I’ve never even had a coltfriend. All the guys I know are either married or in a relationship, or the brother of one of my best friends.
Obito: Uh huh
Pinkie: Wait, you’re a nice guy, and you seem fun, plus you make great desserts, are you single Obie?
Obito: Uhh….(Flashes back to Snowflame threatening him about doing anything to her, then flashes back to her interrogating him, he begins to sweat nervously) I…Uhhh…
Snowflame: HEY MASKED CLAW PONY!!!
Obito: Gotta Go! (Dashes off)
Pinkie: Hmph, oh well, he couldn’t handle me anyway (Smiles and continues making waffles)

Pinkie and Obito are in the kitchen making waffles while Pinkie talks, "It’s kind of weird of how much shipping is going on yet this story doesn't have a romance tag, I guess it's so it won't be misleading for people who for whatever reason want a Snowflame shipfic, but still, Discord is with Celestia, Spike is with Rarity, Derpy is marrying that Time Turner Doctor, heck even Trixie ended up with Iron Will, seems like everyone is getting paired off and I’ve never even had a coltfriend. All the guys I know are either married or in a relationship, or the brother of one of my best friends."

"Uh-huh." Obito says not really paying attention.

"Wait, you’re a nice guy, and you seem fun, plus you make great desserts, are you single Obie?" Pinkie says giving him some bedroom eyes.

"Uhh…" Obito says as his mind flashes back to Snowflame wordsbefore,

"Unless you do anything to the Pink Pony, and Snowflame means Anything, then Snowflame will do horrible unspeakable things to you that this story will have to add a Dark Tag to it."

He then also remembers being interrogated by this same mare two days ago, and begins to sweat nervously, "I…Uhhh…"

"HEY MASKED CLAW PONY!" Snow calls from the other room.

"Gotta Go!" Obito says before dashing off.

"Hmph, oh well, he couldn’t handle me anyway." Pinkie says before she goes back to making waffles.

Back in the Present...

Back in the Present
Obito: No reason, just want to have fun (Smiles nervously)
Snowflame: (Gives a scrutinizing look then smiles) Good enough for Snowflame
Warrior: Good enough for me

"No reason, just want to have fun." Obito says while he smiles nervously.

Snowflame doesn't completely believes him and gives a scrutinizing look then smiles, "Good enough for Snowflame."

"Good enough for me!" The Warrior shouts.

Discord
As... entertaining as all of this is, violence isn't really your thing. You're a trickster not a murderer, and you know this. Hell, you didn't even fight the dragon when the others were, you just provided the music.
So with that in mind, respectfully take your leave. All debts are repaid between you and Snowflame, so now you are cool, or at least you should be.
So then teleport away.... and then reappear right in Celestia's bedroom where she is still sulking.
Spike
Walk into Sugarcube Corner right as Snowflame, Warrior, and Obito are finishing up their discussion (basically right as Discord leaves), and be fully on board with their plan to kick Blueblood's sniveling flank given how you know how he treated Rarity at the Gala and all. Snowflame, Warrior, and Obito of course, see no reason to not let Spike come along given that he is pretty much a dragon Bruce Campbell now.
So yeah, main character party now numbers at four.

Spike walks in as they say this
Spike: What’s good enough for everyone?
Discord: We found out Prince Blueblood sent the first assassin here (points to Obito) and now he’s joining Snowflame’s revenge parade.
Spike: … Good enough for me, I’m in (Smiles evily)
Snowflame: Snowflame knew you would, the guy was a dick to your girlfriend
Spike: Ya, and Discord, I really owe you for that buddy, how can I ever repay you?
Discord: Just keep doing what you’re doing, that’s all the reward I ask for…and blackmail material on your mother, sister, boss, owner figure. What exactly is Twilight to you?
Spike: It’s complicated. I could get you her diary, would that be enough?
Discord: More than enough, now back to the matter at hand, when are you guys going to carry out the beating?
Snowflame: Snowflame thinks it can wait till after the BBQ, Snowflame saw in yesterday’s paper that he got put in a mental institution, he’s not going anywhere.
Discord: Well that’s convenient, so where is this cookout gonna be at?
Snowflame: The Pink Pony said down by the lake, she’s already got plenty of soy hot dogs for all these weak veggie ponies
Spike: and me since I’m not gonna commit cannibalism
Warrior: Soy Meat is the enemy of a true man, real men snap into the almighty Slim Jim!
Snowflame: Snowflame thought you worshiped Destrucity?
Warrior: I do, and Slim Jims are holy weapons in its arsenal, every wrestler knows this for they give great power, the Macho Man was their true disciple though.
Spike: Still not eating dragon meat dude
Warrior: Wimp
Discord: (Snap) Alright, the freezer is now out there and waiting. I also took the liberty of adding a few grills too
Pinkie: (From the Other Room) Awwww….I was gonna set those up
Discord: Sorry Pinkie, now I’ll take my leave, I still have to look into the whole black hole business.
Warrior: The god’s sent me here in their rocket ship of conquest, perhaps it holds the key to opening the delicious egg yolk of mystery.
Discord: Good Idea…I think, well anyway, good luck with the whole beating and or murdering of ol Blueblood.
Snowflame: Snowflame still thinks it is bullcrap that you won’t help us kill
Discord: Oh boo hoo, I won’t help you harm some pompous jerk, know what I’ll be doing instead?
Snowflame: What?
Discord: (Shouts so that the everyone in Sugar Cube Corners hears) Riding the ruler of this land till she can’t fly straight, OH!!! (Teleports out)
Everypony is shocked by the outburst, but Snowflame and the others continue with their discussion
Snowflame: Meh, Good for him, but now we have a group of four combatants…Snowflame actually has a team to lead (Tear rolls down his eye) Snowflame feels so happy.
Warrior: We will follow your lead my friend, we will not be distracted by shiny objects!
Obito: I still owe you, so ya
Spike: I’m finally getting some recognition so you can count on me
Snowflame: Well first we eat BBQ, then we crash the crazy house and beat the prissy pony to a pulp
Pinkie: (Holding Paper) Ummm…That may not be so simple Snowfy
Snowflame: Why not?
Pinkie shows the article about Blueblood’s escape
Snowflame: Oh son of a bitch!

Spike walks in as they say this and asks, "What’s good enough for everyone?"

"We found out Prince Blueblood most likely sent Mr. Named After A Naruto Character That Ken Knows Nothing About, here to kill Snowflame, and now he’s joining Snowflame’s revenge parade."

"…Good enough for me, I’m in." He says smiling evily.

"Snowflame knew you would, the guy was a dick to your girlfriend." Snowflame said.

"Ya, and Discord, I really owe you for that buddy, how can I ever repay you?"

"Just keep doing what you’re doing, that’s all the reward I ask for…and blackmail material on your mother, sister, boss, owner figure. What exactly is Twilight to you?" Discord asks.

"It’s complicated. I could get you her diary, would that be enough?"

"More than enough, now back to the matter at hand, when are you guys going to carry out the beating?"

"Snowflame thinks it can wait till after the BBQ, Snowflame saw in yesterday’s paper that he got put in a mental institution, he’s not going anywhere." Snowflame says.

"Well that’s convenient, so where is this cookout gonna be at?"

"The Pink Pony said down by the lake, she’s already got plenty of hay hot dogs for all these weak veggie ponies."

"and me since I’m not gonna commit cannibalism." Spike points out.

"Vegetables are the enemy of a true man, real men snap into the almighty Slim Jim!" The Warrior shouts.

"Snowflame thought you worshiped Destrucity." Snowflame says.

"I do, and Slim Jims are holy weapons in its arsenal, every wrestler knows this for they give great power, the Macho Man was their true disciple though. He gave his life to save mankind from the rapture."

"Still not eating dragon meat dude." Spike deadpans.

"Wimp."

Discord snaps his fingers and says, "Alright, the freezer is now out there and waiting. I also took the liberty of adding a few grills too."

Pinkie comes out from the other room, "Awwww….I was gonna set those up."

"Sorry Pinkie, now I’ll take my leave, I still have to look into the whole black hole business."

"The god’s sent me here in their rocket ship of conquest, perhaps it holds the key to opening the delicious egg yolk of mystery." The Warrior suggests.

"Good Idea…I think, well anyway, good luck with the whole beating and or murdering of ol Blueblood."

"Snowflame still thinks it is bullcrap that you won’t help us kill." Snowflame says to the god of chaos.

"Oh boo hoo, I won’t help you harm some pompous jerk, know what I’ll be doing instead?"

"What?"

"Riding the ruler of this land till she can’t fly straight, OH!!!" Discord shouts so that the everyone in Sugar Cube Corners can hear him before he teleports out.

Everypony is shocked by the outburst, but Snowflame and the others continue with their discussion.

"Meh, Good for him, but now we have a group of four combatants…Snowflame actually has a team to lead." Snaowflame says as a single tear rolls down his eye, "Snowflame feels so happy."

"We will follow your lead my friend, we will not be distracted by shiny objects!" The Warrior shouts.

"You didn't kill me, so I owe ya." Obito adds.

"I’m finally getting some recognition so you can count on me." Spike says.

"Well first we eat BBQ, then we crash the crazy house and beat the prissy pony to a pulp." Snowflame says.

"Ummm…That may not be so simple Snowfy." Pinkie says while reading from a newspaper.

"Why not?"

Pinkie shows him an article that talks about Blueblood’s escape from the institution.

"Oh son of a bitch!"

Name: The Ultimate Warrior

Stats

Strength: 7

Speed: 6

Intelligence: 2

Power of Destrucity: 10

Ken's Embarrassment that he didn't do one of these for The Warrior until now: 10

At Canterlot Castle...

At Canterlot Castle
Discord teleports into Celestia’s room where she is still sulking
Discord: Hi Tia, I’m Home!
Celestia:…
Discord: So how sore are you after last night? Because I gotta say my back had a twinge in it that would just not go away.
Celestia:…
Discord: Hey don’t beat yourself up, you were great, honestly, I…
Celestia: (Tackles him) Shut up and lock the door!
Discord: …(Snaps and door closes)My aren’t you eager (Shit eating grin)
Celestia: STOP TALKING!!! (Ferocious making out leading to what they did last night)

Discord teleports into Celestia’s room where she is still sulking, "Hi Tia, I’m Home!" Discord exclaims, getting no responce from Celestia, "So how sore are you after last night? Because I gotta say my back had a twinge in it that would just not go away.", Still no responce, "Hey don’t beat yourself up, you were great, honestly, I…"

The next thing he know Celestia tackled him to the floor, "Shut up and lock the door!"

Discord snaps and door closes, "My aren’t you eager."

"STOP TALKING!!!"

At The Ponyville Library...

At the Library
Zecora begins experimenting on the Coca Plant anyway, because she really has nothing better to do. Twilight still mopes around since everything around her is going crazy, what with her Son, Brother, Assistant, Pet figure (It's complicated) turning into a beast and banging one of her friends, Discord apparently hooking up with the Princess and just the outright insanity that Snowflame brings on a daily basis.

While Zecora was experimenting with the coca plant, due to her having nothing better to do, Twilight just laid with her head on the table thinking about a large number of things, first Spikes been turned into what can only be described as a beast, and one can only imagine what happened at Rarity's last night, along that Discord and Princess Celestia might be together, she didn't even want to think about that, and of course the insanity that Snowflame brings to Ponyville on a daily basis.

'Is Berry Punch's bar open yet?', Twilight thinks to herself, 'I think I need a drink.'

Meanwhile at The Crystal Empire...

Blueblood and the legion of crazies
Realize that Zant (being from another dimension and all) has no idea where Ponyville is and has teleported you... somewhere completely, COMPLETELY wrong.
As far as where that is. I'll leave that up to you.

Meanwhile with Team Crazy
They teleport into the middle of a bright and sunny place full of Crystal Ponies and buildings
Blueblood: Zant! This is the Crystal Empire!!!
Disco Dance: Polish the Globes, Polish the Globes!!!
Zant: Well how was I supposed to know my lord?
Blueblood: Ponyville is literally at the base of the mountain from Canterlot, we're now in the arctic for Celestia's sake!
Zant: I’m sorry my lord, I come from a different dimension after all
Blueblood: (Blueblood goes into an intense tirade) No you don’t, you are a pony, A PONY!!! You never were a usurper, Hyrule and the Twilight Realm don’t exist, and you don’t have a magical winged fire bringing panda!!!!
Crystal: Umm, excuse me, who are you yelling at?
Blueblood: Him! I’m yelling at…(Zant and the other three aren’t where they were standing, they took off during his tirade)
Blueblood: Uhhh….
Zant: (Somewhere in the distance) Oh My Ganon, Everything is So Shiny!!!
Screwloose: Bark
Blueblood: Oh Great! (Runs off to find his crew)
Crystal Pony: Crazy fool

Blueblood and the rest of the escapees teleport into the middle of a bright and sunny place full of Crystal Ponies and buildings.

"Zant! This is the Crystal Empire!" Blueblood shouts.

"Polish the Globes, Polish the Globes!" Disco Dance shouts.

"Well how was I supposed to know my lord?" Zant asks.

"Ponyville is literally at the base of the mountain from Canterlot, we're now in the arctic for Celestia's sake!" Blueblood points out.

"I’m sorry my lord, I come from a different dimension after all."

"No you don’t, you are a pony, A PONY!!! You never were a usurper, Hyrule and the Twilight Realm don’t exist, and you don’t have a magical winged fire breathing panda!"

"Umm, excuse me, who are you yelling at?" A random Crystal Pony mare asks Prince Blueblood.

"Him! I’m yelling at…" When he looks Zant and the other three aren’t where they were standing, "Uhhh…."

"Oh My Ganon, Everything is So Shiny!" Zant shouts from somewhere in the distance.

"Oh Great!" Blueblood says as he runs off to find his crew.

The Crystal Pony her eyes and says, "Crazy fool."

Back in Ponyville, in the House of Lyra and Bon Bon...

Lyra
WAKE UP AND BE BON BON
Bon Bon
WAKE UP AND BE LYRA

At Lyra and Bon Bon’s
When they wake up, they look at each other and remember the argument they had.
Lyra: I’m still mad at you for that accusation
Bon Bon: I know, but still, can you blame me, I mean I would kind of understand after (feels her neck) experiencing his hands (Perverted fantasy look on her face, apparently she loves being choked out by the Warrior)
Lyra: You know what? Buck it, you’re the one sleeping on the couch tonight, walks angrily to go take a shower
Bon Bon: …(Dreamily) Those hands were fantastic…

The two mare wake up after being chocked out by two humans earlier.

Lyra glares at Bon Bon and says, "I'm still mad at you. Oh look at me I'm Bon Bon, I'm going to accuse my marefriend of cheating on me and won't listen to reason."

Bon Bon rolls her eyes, "Well how do I know you didn't. I bet you liked being chocked like that. Oh I'm Lyra I like hands. I won't shut up about hands. Hands, hands, hands!"

"You know what? Buck it, you’re the one sleeping on the couch tonight!" Lyra shouts before storming off angrily to go take a shower.

"Fine! Whatever!"

Back at Canterlot Castle... Again...

Also at Canterlot Castle
Luna is visited by the Ghost of Sombra who starts hitting on her. She allows it since she is getting attention, but before anything can happen, Razor himself comes in and hits Sombra in the nose with a rolled up newspaper while a Brown Pit Pull/Shar-Pei mix with sunglasses watches.
Razor: NO! Bad Sombra! Back to My Story! The Updates are Coming Soon, Bad! And Bad BrownDog77! Stop making Ken add Sombra in the story!
BrownDog77: NEVER!!! :pinkiecrazy:
They all dissappear and Luna thinks to herself about how she'll never get laid

Princess Luna sits in her bedroom when she hears a voice.

"Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy Luuuuuuuunnnnnnnnaaaaa."

She looks around trying to see where the voice was coming from.

"Luuuuuuuunnnnnnnnaaaaa." The voice says again, then what looks like a pale version of King Sombra's head with a white tail appears, "Hi Luna!"

"Sombra?! How dare you appear in my quarters, let alone this castle. My sister and I will..." Princess Luna shouts.

"Woah, woah, woah. Relax. I'm not here to cause any trouble."

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm just here to tell you how sexy you are."

"Wait Wha..." Luna begins to say when with a flash of light what looks like a human with long brown hair, a black shirt and blue jeans appears with a rolled up newspaper, which he uses to hit Sombra with, "Bad Ghost Sombra! Bad! Back to my story!", the human shouts.

"Awww you never let me have any fun." Ghost Sombra says.

"Shut up." The human says as they both disappear.

Luna sits there perplexed at what just happened before she simply says, "I'm never going to get laid am I?"

Empress Mi Amore Cadenza of The Crystal Empire (27)

Snowflame, in his rage at being denied easy access to revenge punts Diamond Tiara, who had just come in, like a football off into the distance. Ponies, including the CMC cheer at this, and Spike laughs really hard causing him to belch flames and make their table full of syrupy plates teleport. Obito feels good too because he wanted to do that to the brat yesterday.

Diamond Tiara was walking into Sugarcube corner to get a decent breakfast, because the chef made her blueberry pancakes instead of chocolate chip! Seriously what kinda for animal did they think she was? Also he tried to give her caneighdia hay bacon instead of real hay bacon! The nerve.

As she took her first step inside the sweet shop she was immediately met with a boot to the head that sent her flying out the door to land somewhere elsewhere in town.

Inside Sugarcube Corner the second this happened to the rich brat all the ponies inside stated to cheer.

Spike laughs so hard he ends up belching, making the table covered in syrup drenched plates catch fire and getting sent away.

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle, In the Bedroom of Princess Celestia...

Discord
Meanwhile, in Celestia's room.

Yeah, that pretty much says everything.

Meanwhile in Celestia’s Bedroom
A table and syrup covered plates land on a “Busy” Discord and Celestia. They ignore it.

Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle, In the Bedroom of Princess Celestia...

Meanwhile in our Universe, somewhere in Connecticut...

KenSES64 looks at the suggestions and say, "I don't want to go into detail of this scene. I mean off screen is fine, but there isn't much way to get around this... Screw it, I'll just write "as is". I don't care if people call me lazy or compare me to ether a chicken, the female reproductive system, or the french (free cookie to whoever get that reference)."

So Ken just types the words "As is." into his computer and goes on to the next scene.

Back at Sugarcube Corner...

Snowflame, Warrior, Spike and Obito
As much of an inconvenience as this is, beating Blueblood's sniveling flank can still wait until after the BBQ. There are several reasons for this.
1.) It's Prince Blueblood. If you know him, he's really not going anywhere even if he is out of the nut house.
2.) It makes things kind of more fun this way.
3.) It'll give Blueblood some time to get his legions of crazy under control and more powerful. After all, what's more fun, beating some sniveling coward, or beating up some sniveling coward whose friends can actually put up a good fight? Think about that for a moment, which one is more rewarding?
4.) That dragon meat is gonna spoil eventually, might as well eat it now.
5.) And most important.... This will make kicking Blueblood's sniveling flank more of an epic quest for you guys.
6.) Also it is worth noting that if Blueblood really does want you dead, he'll probably strike again at some point, so there is no need to rush.
So yeah, BBQ first, then Blueblood. That plan hasn't changed.
That being said, see if you can go about getting invites to all of your pony friends here in Ponyville. It'll be like an Outdoor BBQ party. Or whatever Pinkie Pie decides to call it. Invite Lyra, Bon Bon, The Mane 6 (including Twilight), Derpy, Time Turner, and a few other ponies that you know at least. Discord probably won't be able to show up cause of what is happening with him in the comment I make for him, so there is no need to worry about him. Yeah, make this a party.
But like I said, it's still early in the day, so that gives you time to prepare. Use this time wisely, consult with the pink pony, and prepare.

Back at the Bakery
Snowflame is still a bit peeved though, luckily Obito and Spike conclude that since Blueblood tried to kill him once, he would probably try so again, so all they have to do is wait for him to strike. They don’t have to do any hunting at all.
Snowflame cheers up and he decides to get on with the BBQ. Since Pinkie Pie has already given out the invitations, all he has to do is cook the meat. He also tells Pinkie Pie to get lots and lots of coffee at the party since it’s the only cocaine like substance that he can give to the ponies for the time being.
Also, now that they aren’t in a hurry, Snowflame decides to come up with a team name.
Snowflame: OK, now that Snowflame is leading this outfit, we have to have a cool name. What do you guys think about Team Snowflame?
Spike: That sounds boring, it’s just your name.
Warrior: Smaug is right, we need a name that strikes fear into the gall bladders of our enemies. I suggest The Ultimate Warriors!!!
Obito: Wow, you guys aren’t really creative are you?
Snowflame: Shut it Vega! You’re still on probation, so you don’t get a vote.
Obito: (Puts head down) Man :applecry:
Spike: Well how about this, Twilight and the girls are like the guardians of this place, but now we’re around, how about The New Guardians?
Snowflame jumps up and punches Spike in the stomach hard, he doubles over in pain
Snowflame: NO!!! THAT IS THE STUPIDEST NAME EVER!!! DON’T YOU EVER MENTION IT AGAIN!!!
Spike: But…
Snowflame: EVVVVEEEERRRRR!!!!!
Spike: OK, I’m sorry.
Snowflame: Good, now the motion carries, Team Snowflame it is.
Obito: Wait, why do you all of a sudden get to decide?
Snowflame: Snowflame didn’t, the Pink Pony did.
Pinkie: Yup, sometimes Simplicity is the best-ity
Spike: Fine
Obito: Fine
Warrior: I am fine with this, but we need clam chowder added to this peck of pickled peppers.
Snowflame: What do you mean?
Warrior: We need a diva on the team, otherwise this sausage fest will give off the wrong signal to others!!!
Spike: You mean a female member? Hmm…yeah that would make sense
Snowflame: You’re right, Team Snowflame needs a chick that is powerful, badass, has little character development, and is universally loved by the fans.
Obito: Fans? (Spike and the Warrior Shrug)
Snowflame then smiles
Snowflame: Spike, take a letter…

"This is bullshit!" Snowflame shouts after punt kicking the first thing he saw walk through the door.

"Hey relax man." Spike said, "Think about it, if he really wants you dead then he'd probably try again sooner or later."

"He has a point." Obito added.

"Hmm... Snowflame guesses that you're right. So lets just have the barbecue first, but we do have to get one thing out of the way first." Snowflame says.

"What's that?" Spike asks.

"Now that Snowflame is leading this outfit, we have to have a cool name. What do you guys think about Team Snowflame?"

"That sounds boring, it’s just your name."

"Smaug is right, we need a name that strikes fear into the gall bladders of our enemies. I suggest The Ultimate Warriors!" The Warrior suggests.

"Wow, you guys aren’t really creative are you?" Obito deadpanned.

"Shut it Vega! You’re still on probation, so you don’t get a vote." Snowflame says.

"Well how about this, Twilight and the girls are like the guardians of this place, but now we’re around, how about The New Guardians?" Spike asked, only to be punched by Snowflame in the stomach so hard he doubles over in pain.

"NO!!! THAT IS THE STUPIDEST NAME EVER!!! DON’T YOU EVER MENTION IT AGAIN!!!" Snowflame yelled with so much anger, not only his body was covered by white flames, but they were even coming out of his mouth.

"But…"

"EVVVVEEEERRRRR!!!!!"

"OK, I’m sorry."

The flame instantly died down and Snowflame said, "Good, now the motion carries, Team Snowflame it is."

"Wait, why do you all of a sudden get to decide?"

"Snowflame didn’t, the Pink Pony did."

"Yup, sometimes Simplicity is the best-ity." Pinkie Pie said witha smile.

"Fine."

"Fine." Obito said.

"I am fine with this, but we need clam chowder added to this peck of pickled peppers." The Warrior says.

"What do you mean?" Snowflame asks.

"We need a diva on the team, otherwise this sausage fest will give off the wrong signal to others!"

"You mean a female member? Hmm…yeah that would make sense." Spike said.

"You’re right, Team Snowflame needs a chick that is powerful, badass, has little character development, and is universally loved by the fans." Snowflame says."

"Fans?" Obito asksonly to get shrugs from Spike and The Warrior.

Snowflame then smiles and says, "Spike, take a letter."

Canterlot Castle, Luna's room...

Luna
Meanwhile, back in Canterlot.
Luna is still feeling a bit jealous when suddenly, a rather strapping young guard that you've had your eye on for a while steps into your chambers to deliver a message. What do you do?

Luna’s Bedroom
She hears Discord and Celestia going at it down the hallway and it’s driving her nuts. All of a sudden she receives a scroll from Spike. It’s an invitation to the BBQ. She decides to go to it, because anything is better than being cooped up listening to your sister getting nailed by you former biggest enemy. Besides, that guard you've had your eye on is gay.

Luna was sitting in her bedroom trying to read, key word trying due to the noise coming from her sister's bedroom, when a light red pegasus stallion guard with an aqua mane walked in.

"Sorry to disturber you Princess, but we're received a letter for you." He said placing it near her.

Princess Luna got a good look at the guard and smiled, "Thank you... Do you want to keep me company for a little while?"

The guard looked in slight confusion and said, "I'm sorry Princess, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, but I have arrangements to have lunch with my coltfriend."

Luna's eyes widened, "C-Coltfriend?"

"Yes Princess sorry." The guard said before walking out.

'Great. Just great.' Luna thought opening the letter to read it,.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Princess Luna,

Snowflame is asking for your help in kicking your nephew's ass because we need a female member of Team Snowflame.

Also you, Princess Sunbutt, and Discord are invited to Snowflame's Dragon Barbecue over in Ponyville this afternoon, around 12:30, assuming that they're not too busy to show.

Sincerely,

Snowflame
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Luna just stared at this letter with quite a few questions to ask, but figured the best way to get them would be by going to Ponyville.

Back at, Oh you know where we're going back to...

Pinkie Pie
Remember that Obito is an assassin.... Well, former assassin now, but still fresh. So that more than likely means that he has unholy amounts of strength, stamina, endurance, and some kind of resilience to pain. What does this have to do with anything? Well it means that he more than likely WILL be able to handle you in that regard. Think about that for a minute. :pinkiehappy:

Back at the Bakery
Snowflame decides to go and get the grills started for the meat. The BBQ starts at around 12:30, and it's 8, so he'd better get started. Spike says he’ll come help in a sec, but he has to do something first. He runs off to the library to get Twilight’s Diary.
Pinkie begins to look at Obito leeringly while her earlier thoughts keep going through her head, he takes that as his cue to leave with Snowflame. That leaves the Warrior by himself.
Rainbow Dash comes into the bakery carrying Diamond Tiara which everyone boos at. She wants to know what happened when suddenly
Ultimate Warrior: SKITTLES!!!!
Rainbow Dash: Oh Buck me…
She is grabbed by the Warrior who won’t let her go despite her protests.
Warrior: Now we will go on magical sight seeing tour that only the dark god Willy Wonka can predict!!!
He then rushes out with her to go sight seeing
Pinkie: Have Fun Everypony :pinkiehappy:

"Snowflame will go get the food ready." Snowflame said.

"Okay." Spike responds, "I'll help in a few minutes, there's something I have to take care of first."

Obito notices the way Pinkie is looking at him with half closed eyes and a smiles, so he quickly turns to Snowflame and says, "I'll help out with the cooking!"

"Sounds good." Snowflame says before the three of them head out leaving The Warrior by himself.

That's when Rainbow Dash comes into the bakery carrying an unconscious Diamond Tiara which everyone boos at.

"Why is everypony booing at me?" She asked sounding a little heartbroken.

"SKITTLES!" The Warrior shouts.

"Oh Buck me…" Rainbow says before she is grabbed by the Warrior who won’t let her go despite her protests.

"Now we will go on magical sight seeing tour that only the dark god Willy Wonka can predict!" The Warrior says as he rushes out with her to go sight seeing

"Have Fun Everypony!" Pinkie says.

Spike
Realize that this is the perfect time to get Twilight's Diary for Discord since she's not in the library at the moment.
Zecora
Keep experimenting with the cocoa plant. You'll find something... eventually.

At the Library
Twilight isn’t home, and Zecora is busy in the basement, so Spike steals her diary, not before looking at a few entries though. He is disturbed by some, and outright laughs at others.

Spike makes it to the Library where he sneaks around as quietly as he can to get Twilight's diary, but quickly notices that she's not even in the library.

'Well that makes this easier, yet I wonder where she is.', Spike thinks to himself.

Meanwhile at Berry's Tavern...

Berry Punch
Knowing fully well that Twilight Sparkle doesn't drink, be surprised when she walks into your bar and be likewise a little hesitant to serve her a drink when she asks you too.... Then after she threatens to burn your mane off, do as she asks.
Twilight

Meanwhile, at the Bar
Twilight is getting hammered. She orders one of everything, and forces Berry Punch to give them to her. She should start singing with the patrons, dancing on tables, and turning things into oranges, but she doesn’t give a buck, she’s drunk.
Twilight: I’m a Bucking Pretty Princess Bitches!!! (She yells as she leaves the bar)

Berry Punch was terrified. Twilight Sparkle came into her bar, hours before it was time to even open, and demanded everything, and she meant everything!

She tried to refuse, but Twilight threatened to have her arrested for treason if she didn't. So, the magenta bartender had to give into her demands.

Now, she was under her bar table cowering in fear at the drunken alicorn prancing around her life's work, turning whatever amused her into an oragne or something.

"I'm a bucking prettt princess bitches!" Twilight shouted.

'Please Celestia, let this end. I want to see Colgate and Ruby again.' Berry Punch thought while practically praying to the sun goddess.

She then heard the front bell ring, and after a few moments of quite Berry looked out from under her bar to see that Princess Twilight was gone, sure there were oranges everywhere, and she didn't pay for any for her drinks, but she was gone.

Berry just stepped out from behind the bartable, walked to the exit, left the building, locked the door behind her, and ran like hell home to her wife and daughter.

Back at the Library...

Spike pulled out the book he was looking for from under Twilight's bed, out of curiosity he opened it up to read a random passage that was dated even before he was hatched.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Diary,

I didn't get much sleep last night. Was too busy watching Shining Armor sleep. He's just so peaceful, and so prefect. I hope to somepony else like him. But maybe a little color, like a royal guard, who also plays guitar, and he'll treat me like a princess and we'll live in a big castle.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Spike quickly closed the book, not wanting to see more. "Man, and I though her sleep talk was bad."

Spike leave the Library and starts heading to the lake to help cook, he also made a mental note to pick up Rarity later since she probably can't even walk at the moment.

At the grills...

At the BBQ Grills
Snowflame uses his own white flames to start the grills. They will ensure that the meat has a healthy taste of Cocaine to it, even if it’s not enough to get the ponies high. That’s what the coffee is for. Obito uses his claws to flip the burgers and hot dogs, while Spike comes in later and is in charge of the Whimpy Veggie meats.

Snowflame uses his own white flames to start the grills and says, "This will ensure that the meat has a healthy taste of Cocaine! Even if it’s not enough to get the ponies high. That’s what the coffee is for."

Obito grabs the burgers and hot dogs with his magic and places them on the grill, and Snowflame stares at him.

"What?" Obito asked.

"Why aren't you using you claws?" Snowflame asked.

"Huh?"

"It said you use your claws not magic."

"Why would I? The claws are weapons, not a Celestia damn spatula. Besides I haven't seen them since you knocked me out the other day."

"Oh yeah, Snowflame gave it to the Pinkie Pony to put somewhere."

"Hey guys!" Spike called walking up.

"Oh good. Spike you take care for the wimpy hay meat."

Name: Obito

Stats

Strength: 5

Speed: 7

Intelligence: 5

Weaponry Skills: 7

Badassness: Ehhh... Not really.

A few hours later...

Later, at the BBQ,
EVERYONE has shown up. From the Mane 6 (Twilight is Piss Drunk and Rainbow Dash is still being held against her will by the Ultimate Warrior), to Team Snowflame, to Lyra and Bon Bon (Who are still keeping their distance) to Iron Will and Trixie, and “Time Turner” and Derpy, the CMC, and Princess Luna. Discord and Celestia are still “Busy” though and couldn’t make it.
Snowflame: Let’s Eat!
What happens at the BBQ?

Snowflame and Co. : BBQ! Bring buns and mustard.
Twilight: get drunk off your ass, and become loose-lipped mellow/happy Twilight.

It was time for the BBQ. The food was done the table were set, and the guests were showing up. The Warrior, who was still holding Rainbow Dash against her will, Lyra and Bon Bon, who were keeping there distance from each other, Derpy, "Time Turner", and Dinky, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Trixie and Iron will, Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and even Princess Luna. Snowflame assumed that Discord and Celestia were still busy, but there was one question. Where was the purple pony?

Well right as he thought that Twilight stumbled over to all of them and saids, "Heeeeeeeyyyyyy everypony! What's *hic* up?"

"Twilight?! Have y'all been drinking?" Applejack asked surprised.

"You bet your flank Orangejames!" Twilight said, stumbling back a little.

So what how?

Meanwhle at the Crystal Empire...

Blueblood
For what you need to do right now, I think this music is necessary.

Zant
When was the last time you had your meds?

In the Crystal Empire
Blueblood keeps chasing after his group of crazies, but they always seem to be too far away, and keep disappearing around corners and into buildings. They are just so enamored with the beautiful surroundings that they don’t seem to know they are evading Blueblood.
Blueblood: Celestia Damnit Zant, get back here this instant!!!
In the Distance he hears Zant shout crazily
Zant: The California raisins stole my brain, now I’ll have nothing to offer up to the Zombie Overlords!!!
Blueblood runs that way, but runs right into an old crystal pony, and she falls to the grond. A crystal guard runs up and grabs him.
Guard: Stop right there criminal scum!!! You violated my mother!!!
Blueblood: It was an accident! Now let me go!
Guard: No, you’ve been running around like a mad stallion all day, I’m taking you in you drunk!
Blueblood: I’m not drunk! I just have to find my group, there’s a disco dancer, a mare who thinks she’s a dog and a would be dictator, I need them to help destroy a hairless ape!
Guard: Come on you!
Blueblood is thrown into the Drunk Tank at the jail.
Blueblood: Why do these things always happen to me? (Starts to cry)

Blueblood keeps chasing after his group of crazies, but no matter what he did he couldn't catch up to them. They always seem to be too far away, and keep disappearing around corners and into buildings. The worst part is they seemed to be just so enamored with the beautiful surroundings that they don’t seem to know they are evading Blueblood.

"Celestia Damnit Zant, get back here this instant!" Blueblood shouted at the gingercorn.

In the Distance he hears Zant shout, "The California raisins stole my brain, now I’ll have nothing to offer up to the Zombie Overlords!"

Blueblood runs that way, but runs right into an old crystal pony, and she falls to the ground.The next thing he knew a crystal guard runs up and grabs him.

"Stop right there criminal scum! You violated my mother!" The guard shouted.

"It was an accident! Now let me go!" The Prince demanded.

"No, you’ve been running around like a mad stallion all day, I’m taking you in you drunk!"

"I’m not drunk! I just have to find my group, there’s a disco dancer, a mare who thinks she’s a dog and a would be dictator, I need them to help destroy a hairless ape!"

"Come on you!"

So the crystal guard take Blueblood and throws him into the Drunk Tank at the jail.

"Why do these things always happen to me?" Blueblood asks and he starts to cry.

In the Crystal Palace...

Meanwhile, Zant, Disco Dance and Screw Loose somehow end up in front of the Crystal Throne where Cadance is sitting.
Zant: Wow, it’s almost as nice as my old giant chair back home.
Screwloose Barks while Disco Dance hums the Game of Thrones theme.
Cadance: Umm…who are you?
Zant: Hello, I’m Zant, I’m from the Twilight Realm.
Cadance: Oh, a foreign dignitary, I haven't had one of those yet, well I am Princess Cadance, welcome to the Crystal Empire
Zant: Thank you, but how are you a princess?
Cadance: What do you mean?
Zant: Shouldn’t you be an Empress if this is an Empire
Cadance: (thinks about it for a second) I like the way you think
Zant: I do too, sometimes I think in 37 different voices
Disco Dance: Chit Chat, Chit Chat!
Screwloose: Bark!
Cadance: (Laughs) Oh you guys are the funniest dignitaries ever. Well as Empress of these lands, let me give you a tour. I’ll show you the Crystal Heart, the Empire’s biggest line of defense.
Zant: Oh that sounds lovely. Perhaps we can find my lost god along the way.

Zant, Disco Dance and Screw Loose somehow end up in front of the Crystal Throne where Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of The Crystal Empire, or simply known as Cadance is sitting.

"Wow, it’s almost as nice as my old giant chair back home." Zant said.

Screwloose Barks while Disco Dance hums a little tune..

"Umm…who are you?" Princess Cadence asks.

"Hello, I’m Zant, I’m from the Twilight Realm."

"Oh, a foreign dignitary, I haven't had one of those yet, well I am Princess Cadance, welcome to the Crystal Empire."

"Thank you, but how are you a princess?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shouldn’t you be an Empress if this is an Empire?"

Cadance thinks about it for a second and smiles, "I like the way you think."

"I do too, sometimes I think in 37 different voices."

"Chit Chat, Chit Chat!" Disco Dance shouts and Screwloose barks.

Cadance laughs and says, "Oh you guys are the funniest dignitaries ever. Well as Empress of these lands, let me give you a tour. I’ll show you the Crystal Heart, the Empire’s biggest line of defense."

"Oh that sounds lovely. Perhaps we can find my lost god along the way." Zant says with a grin.

Name: Empress Mi Amore Cadenza

Stats

Strength: 4

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 5

Love Power: 9

Use as a Projectile: 8

In the Black Hole...

In the Black Hole
The Voices seem befuddled since Team Crazy ended up in the Crystal Empire, but the main voice wants to see how that plays out.

"Great Team Crazy is in the wrong place, and Blueballs is locked up." Voice #1 said.

"This might not be a bad thing." Voice #4 told the rest of them, "We can see how this turns out."

What Do You Do With a Drunken Twilight? (28)

Twilight Sparkle
Okay before anything else
(and by that I mean do this first)
In your drunken state, walk right up to Snowflame and go on a several minute long tirade/rant/lecture/angry rambling/whatever you wanna call it about how you are, for lack of a better phrase to describe it. PISSED OFF.
Tell Snowflame about how your life was SO PERFECT before he arrived, and how nothing crazy every happened before he came along (momentarily forgetting about every single episode of the show so far, and somewhere else, Discord raises and eyebrow at this), about how he's ruined EVERYTHING so far, about how everything was so nice before he got here, and how he is worse than Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, and pretty much every villain you've faced so far. All the while, don't forget to keep hickuping where comedically appropriate.
Sure you are an uptight control freak, sure you have a rather severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder that means that you have to quadruple check everything to make sure that everything is the way YOU want it, sure you place more priority on what your overlord/mentor figure/princess thinks of you than most other things (making things questionable to a degree), sure really most of your failings are really nopony's fault other than your own cause of your ignorance and the fact that you ALWAYS have to be right...
BUT CELESTIA DAMNIT! SNOWFLAME RUINED YOUR LIFE!!!!
However, since it is you, and you are angry and drunk out of your mind, at the end of your tirade, accidentally, and without realizing it, or without caring mind you, let it slip that you jealous of all of your friends because everypony is getting shipped with somepony and they all have somepony to love. It's happening everywhere, even with Celestia, and yet you.... no Colt will even look at you.... WHY DON'T COLTS EVER NOTICE YOU!!!!????? (scream that). Really, all you want is:

And at this point fall to the ground and start crying cause now you're sad.

Twilight:
On top of your ranting, when you talk about how you’re the only one alone, the few single ones speak up
Applejack: Twilight! Out of the six of us, only Rarity has hooked up with someone…
Spike: Oh yeah (Said Smoothly)
Applejack: so there’s no reason to
Twilight: NO ONE LOVES MEEEEEE!!!! (Crying)

Twilight: Go drunk, you're at a party. +Magic +random ranting

Twilight looks right at Snowflame and says, "Snowflame you bucking *hic* bastard! My life *hic* was *hic* so perfect before you *hic* showed up! You're worst than *hic*, Discord, Queen *hic* Chrysalis, King Sombra, or *hic* any of the *hic* things my friends and *hic* I have faced off *hic* against *hic* combined! Because of *hic* you it's hard for me to *hic* make sure things are *hic* how I *hic* want! Celestia Damnit *hic* YOU RUINED MY *his* LIFE! Now all my friends are *hic* hooking up with *hic* other ponies and *hic* and I'm *hic* not! Why don't colts ever *hic* notice me?!" Thats when Twilight feel to the ground and started to cry.

"Eh, Twilight? Out of the seven of us Rarity and Spike are the only ones that hooked up with somepony, and it's with each other." Applejack says.

"Yeah." Spike said, grinning at Rarity.

"Nopony loves me!" Twilight shouts before going back to the crying.

Spike
Suddenly realize that you're still carrying Twilight's diary. Quickly, while she's ranting to Snowflame, blow it out with your green flames and send it to Discord. You could send a message to Luna, you can send this to Discord. With that out of the way, after Twilight finishes her rant, walk up to her and tell Snowflame that you're gonna take her back to the library, cause well.... yeah.... Snowflame understands and you leave to take Twilight home, leaving Obito and Pinkie Pie in charge of the veggie burgers/hot dogs (and she wants to work with him on this).

Spike: (Sighs and picks her up and carries her home) Alright, time for bed!
Twilight: But I’m not tired!!!! (Whining)
Snowflame: Huh, well that was weird. Who wants a hot dog?

Spike realizes that he still has Twilight's diary and sends it over to Discord while Twilight was too busy crying to look. Then Spike walked over to his crying sister/mother/boss/owner figure and picked her up, "Alright, time for bed."

"But I'm not tired!" Twilight whined, but Spike just went on and walked away.

"Huh, that was weird, now who wants a dragon hot dog? If not their are wimpy hay dogs for you herbivores." Snowflame said.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders
All of you discover the wonders of meat. :pinkiehappy:

CMC
The CMC each get Dragon Dogs, and their eyes light up as if they have eaten the greatest thing of all time.
Scootaloo: This is awesome
Applebloom: It’s the best hay hot dog ever
Sweetie Belle: What’s in it?
Snowflame: Dragon Meat.
CMC:…What?!
Snowflame: A big green dragon, we feast on his corpse to gain his power!
CMC: ...(They are conflicted, yes they ate another creature, but at the same time, it was delicious)
Scootaloo: So meat always tastes this good?
Snowflame: Eyup!
Applebloom: What else can we eat?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah, what else has good meat taste?
Snowflame: Hmm…Cows and Chickens and Pigs, (Fluttershy in the crowd at that moment says Oh My, for some reason) stuff like that
Applebloom: You thinking what I’m thinking girls?
Scootaloo: Yup
Sweetie Belle: Mmhmm
CMC: CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CARNIVORES YAY!!!
They run off.
Spike: That’s really messed up
Warrior: But no less adorable!!!
Snowflame: Meh, Snowflame thinks it will be funny (Smiles)

"Wait, did he just say dragon hot dogs?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I think he did." Sweetie Belle answered.

"I kinda want to try it." Scootaloo said.

"What?!" Apple Bloom shouted.

"Eww why?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't know, maybe it taste good. Who knows maybe we could get our cutie marks." Scootaloo suggested

The other two crusaders thought about this before smiling and all three of them shouting, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CARNIVORES YAY!"

Applejack and Rarity look at Snowflame with a mix concern and anger.

"What?" Snowflame asked.

"Y'all ain't gonna give out sisters dragon meat right?" Applejack asked.

"He better not, that's disgusting." Rarity says.

"Snowflame doesn't see the big deal. If they want to try something let them. You should be glad they're not being picky. Also, Marshmallow Pony what you said seem's kinda hypocritical. From what Snowflame heard you had a lot of dragon meat last night."

Rarity blushes and says, "Touche."

"All right fine. They can have some dragon dogs, but if y'all fillies get sick or something it's y'all own fault." Applejack says to the crusaders.

"Alright, anyone else?" Snowflame asked.

Trixie and Iron Will: Were you even there when it was revealed that these two are getting married? If so, congratulate them again. If not, your thoughts on this sudden new development.

"Iron Will wouldn't mind trying the dragon meat." The blue minotaur said.

"Willy?!" Trixie said shocked.

"What? Minotaurs are omnivores, so it's fine."

"Just seems weird to me. So don't expect Trixie to kiss you later."

Iron Will laughed, and said, "So Iron Will will just take on now.", and he picks her on the cheek.

Snowflame just looks at this in confusion, "Uhh... did Snowflame miss something?"

"Oh, Trixie and Iron Will moved to Ponyville to settle down and get married. Hey you did say they should kiss back in 'Snowflame Goes into Ponyville and Does Stuff', didn't you?" Pinkie Pie explained.

"Snowflame was joking when Snowflame said that."

"Even if you were, they seem happy now."

Snowflame shrugged and went back to cooking.

Obito
Claws.... as in multiple claws..... You only had one claw for one of your hooves. What is Snowflame talking about two claws? Either way though, you don't have them right now so...
Suddenly, at that point, Pinkie Pie suddenly appears and gives you your claws back. Confused for a moment, you double check and see that there's now two.
When you ask where the other one came from, Pinkie Pie just giggles for a moment and then spontaneously hugs you. Giving a typical "pinkie pie" response. Also, she says she made it for you herself. You want to question why, but figure it's best not to.
Either way, accept her gift, cause two claws are BETTER THAN ONE!

Pinkie Pie
Offer to cook the veggie meat with Obito, oh, and don't forget to give him his claws, including the second one that you made for him so that he can flip the burgers with them.

Pinkie Pie hops over to Obito, who was cooking the hay dogs, and said, "Hiya Obie!"

"Oh, hello Miss Pie." The former assassin responded.

Pinkie giggles and says, "Oh you know you can call me Pinkie, even if I'll probably be one of your bosses if Mr. and Mrs. Cake hire you. Which I guess well just have to see later when they come back to Ponyville tonight. Anyways since you're going to help Snowfy with beating up Blueblood I thought that you might want these.", Pinkie then pulled two sets for claws seemingly out of nowhere.

Obito looked at them and asked, "Wait two? I only had one."

"Yuppers I made a second one for you."

Obito picked them up with his magic and said, "Thanks."

"You're welsome." Pinkie says before bouncing off.

Luna
You want to speak to Snowflame, but suddenly you notice Obito, and you can't help but notice him, and now.... nice... let looks... with that mane... and that muscle structure... and his gorgeous face..... Suddenly you blush a little at this.
You suppose Snowflame can wait a moment.
You walk over to talk to Obito and comment to him about how nice he looks. He seems a bit nervous talking to you, but you're a princess so you're kind of used to that. Tell him that he does not need to be nervous around her and there is no need to be so formal. You also kind of like the way he complements you when you say that, and giggle a little. Ask him if he is doing anything later. He says that he really isn't, but he mentions something about being a part of Team Snowflame, so he might be doing something with them, and you mention to him about how Snowflame wanted you to be part of his team as well, and if that's the case, then there really is noting to worry about, and tell him that you certainly wouldn't mind being a member of the team if he's a part of it.
Suddenly, before this conversation can go ANY further. Pinkie Pie suddenly shows up and grabs Obito by the neck telling him that they have to make the veggie burgers. Obito politely tells you that he probably should get on that, and you understand so you let him go with Pinkie Pie where that scene I wrote with him earlier plays out. Meaning that all of this ideally happens before that.
As you watch him walk away however
(in your head)

So with that out of the way, go talk to Snowflame, where he tells you all about his new Team Snowflame and how he wants you to be a part of it. He also serves you a dragon hot dog and some coffee, both of which you politely take.
As you talk to him, you take a sip of the coffee..... IT IS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING YOU'VE EVER TASTED!!! DEMAND SOME MORE!!! Which Snowflame promptly gives.
The result:

IF THIS IS WHAT JOINING TEAM SNOWFLAME IS ALL ABOUT! TELL HIM THAT OF COURSE YOU'LL JOIN HIM!!!
Obito sees what you're like on Coffee and really isn't sure what to think now.

Snowflame:
You serve the dragon dogs to The Warrior, and Luna since she can eat meat being an Alicorn and all.
When you talk to Luna, you tell her how much of a fan favorite she is and tell her that through the power of cocaine, she can achieve greatness. You only have coffee, but it will do.
You, the Warrior, and her get into a Coffee chugging contest, and the result is an extreme caffeine high. Luna swears she can taste rainbows. She is in fact trying to eat Dash’s mane, which she yells to stop.
During this high, she tries to hit on Obito, who is completely terrified of her high nature, and just tries to get away from her. Which is hard, because he’s also trying to avoid Pinkie.
Luna joins the Team

Luna was about go talk to Snowflame, but then she noticed the stallion cooking the hay dogs, that purple coat, that flowing blond mane, that muscle structure, and that sexy scar on his face that made him mysterious and exotic. Luna blushed a little at the sight at him and figured that clarification on Snowflame's letter can wait for now.

The Princess of the Night walked up to this stallion sand greeted him, "Hello, I am Princess Luna."

The stallion bowed to her, hey he may be a killer, but he still has the decency to show royalty respect.

Luna giggled and said, "You don't have to bow to me, please tell me your name."

The stallion rose and nervously said said, "O-Obito."

"There's no need to be so formal. So you don't have to be nervous."

"S-Sorry I've just never met royalty, well I may have met that Blueblood guy, but he's not a princess like you."

'He's nervous because I'm a Princess? Oh my me he thinks I'm attactive! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' Luna screamed it her head, "That's very kind of you, but there's no need. So what are you doing in a place like this?"

"Well I'm part of this "Team Snowflame", so yeah, to tell the truth I don't care for the name, butI wasn't aloud to make a suggestion. Oh well."

"So you're on Team Snowflame huh? I was going to talk to him about that to see why he wanted me to join."

"Well if you do it'll be nice to fight with you I guess."

Luna gave a lustful grin and said, "Oh yes it will.", she then walked away and over to Snowflame.

"Ah hello Princess." Snowflame said, "Wanna dragon dog? Or how about a dragon burger?"

"Uhh... I'll stick with the hay dogs thank you. Anyways I wanted to ask you about your letter, why do you want me to help you assault my nephew? Also why do you want to assault my nephew?"

"Well because we need a female member of Team Snowflame, who the fans love, and as for why, well we got a lead that it was probably Prince Douchebag that hired the first assassin to kill Snowflame."

"I see. Well if you want my help I could just have the guards bring him into questioning, yet we'd have to find him first."

"So you know about his escape."

"Yes I do."

"Well Snowflame does appreciate the offer, but it's no fun if the guard just arrest him. Well if you don't want to help then we'll need someone else." Snowflame then grabs a cup of this dark brown liquid, "Coffee?"

"Ummm... sure. I've never had it, but why not." Luna said right before she took a sip and her eyes widened.

5 Minutes and about 2 dozen cups of coffee later...

Princess Luna was wide-eyed, grinning like a madmare, and was talking a mile a minute, "THIS IS AMAZING! I WANT EVEN MORE! I FEEL LIKE i CAN DO ANYTHING! I BET I COULD FLY! IF THIS IS WHAT BEING ON TEAM SNOWFLAME IS LIKE THAT I AM IN!"

Snowflame smiles and says, "Good to know."

"Ah so this sable has it's diva, now it it balanced out!" The Warrior, who was still holding on to Rainbow Dash shouted.

Rainbow Dash:
You finally get the Warrior to put you down through the most unlikeliest of ways
Dash: You’ve been holding me for over four hours, will you please, please, PLEASE let me go?
Warrior: OK!!! (Lets Dash Go)
Dash: What? You’re actually listening to me this time? Why?
Warrior: You said the magic word, the word that opens up all routes into the souls of mothers, the magic word that gets you the cookie jar before dinner!(SKRONK)
Dash: Oh…Well…(Dashes off, Pun intended)

"You’ve been holding me for over four hours, will you please, please, PLEASE let me go?" Rainbow Dash begged.

"OK!" The Warrior says letting her go.

"What? You’re actually listening to me this time? Why?"

"You said the magic word, the word that opens up all routes into the souls of mothers, the magic word that gets you the cookie jar before dinner! *SKRONK*"

"Oh…Well…" Rainbow Dash says before dashing off, thinking, 'Okay now that he let me go I can get my dress on and back to Spitfire and Soarin's wedding. Hopefully nothing will happen this time.'

Spike: Apologize for punching Spike in the gut. You know he didn't mean any offense, and really, recognize that what you did was kind of uncalled for. Explain to Spike just who the New Guardians were back in your world and how they were the ones who defeated you. At this, Spike suddenly understands and apologizes to you, but you say that it's cool. Now that that is taken care of, onto other things.

When Spike gets back, apologize and tell him who the New Warriors were and how stupid they were.
Snowflame: That didn’t take long
Spike: Yeah, Zecora gave her something to knock her out. She said it’s something she’s been working on down in the basement.
Snowflame: That sounds foreshadowy. Anyway, Snowflame is sorry he sucker punched you earlier.
Rarity: (Angrily) Why would you punch my Dragon!!!
Spike: Calm down babe, but yeah, if I had been in my old body that would’ve probably killed me
Snowflame: Sorry, It’s just that that name you came up with belongs to the stupidest team ever!!!
Spike: Oh…What’d they do?
Snowflame: They were meant to just screw each other to make a master race, but the only guys on the team were a plant monster, a gay guy, and some half robot dude. Also, they fought AIDS monsters.
Spike: That sounds stupid!
Snowflame: They were, and Snowflame lost to them. That is Snowflame’s greatest shame
Spike: Oh, OK, I understand, no worries man
Rarity: Just don’t do it again (Gives Evil Eye to Snowflame)
Snowflame: OK

Not that long after Spike got back.

"That didn't take long." Snowflame said.

"Yeah, Zecora gave her something to knock her out. She said it’s something she’s been working on down in the basement." Spike explained.

"That sounds foreshadowy. Anyway, Snowflame is sorry he sucker punched you earlier."

"Why would you punch my Dragon?!" Rarity shouted in anger.

"Calm down babe, but yeah, if I had been in my old body that would’ve probably killed me." Spike said.

"Sorry, It’s just that that name you came up with belongs to the stupidest team ever!" Snowflame explained.

"Oh…What’d they do?"

"They were meant to just screw each other to make a master race, but the only guys on the team were a plant monster, a gay guy, and some half robot dude. Also, they fought AIDS monsters."

"That sounds stupid!"

"They were, and Snowflame lost to them. That is Snowflame’s greatest shame."

"Oh, OK, I understand, no worries man."

"Just don’t do it again!" Rarity says giving a treating look to Snowflame.

"OK." Snowflame said to the white mare, he then says to everyone else "Okay the food is done lets eat."

So all the guess were enjoying their food, the Cutie Mark Crusaders each took a bite from their dragon dogs and all got an expression that basically said that they just tasted the best thing ever, even if their faces didn't say it they did too.

"Wow this is amazing!" Sweetie Belle said.

"It's better than hay dogs!" Apple Bloom added.

"Spike you're delicious!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

That last comment made Spike gulp a little.

"Yes eat you adorable child ponies and gain the strength of the mighty best!" The Warrior shouted before shoving a whole dragon dog in his mouth.

Time Turner and Derpy (and Dinky): Think that Time Turner is still the doctor and talk to him like it's no big deal. Time Turner on the other hand, gets REALLY freaked out because of the alien talking to him. Derpy... isn't quite sure what to think of this, but she also can't help but laugh a little. Also get introduced to Dinky and notice how adorable she is.

“Time Turner" and Derpy
Derpy, you still have lingering guilt. Bury that guilt with hay hotdogs/hay burgers. “Time Turner, hang out with your new best friend Iron Will. When Snowflame comes to talk to you, Iron Will panics and runs away. “Time Turner” is still a little freaked out by Snowflame, especially since he starts talking about his Mario Jackhammer and Time Machine box. Derpy is too busy eating and talking to Trixie to notice.
Snowflame: So, do you think Snowflame can have a spare key to it in case of trouble.
“Time Turner”: You know what, you can have the blue box, I don’t really need it (Gives Tardis Key to Snowflame)
Snowflame: Wow, Thanks Matt Tennant, or is it David Smith?
“Time Turner”: It’s Time Turner.
Snowflame: Yeah, whatever (Holds up key triumphantly, cue the Zelda chest opening music)
Team Snowflame now has an HQ, the Tardis….God help us all :pinkiecrazy:

Snowflame walked up to "Time Turner" and said, "Hey Doctor Who!"

"Ummmmm...... Hi?" "Time Turner" says.

"So Snowflame has a question about you're blue box, if it's no trouble can Snowflame have a key for it, just in case?"

"You know, I don't really need it, so you can have it if you want." the chestnut colored earth pony says, hoofing over said key over to Snowflame.

"Really? Thanks Matt Tennant! Or is it David Smith?"

"It's Time Turner."

"Sure whatever you say." Snowflame then put the key away in his pocket. He then notices Lyra and Bon Bon still keeping there distance from each other.

Lyra and Bon Bon: Notice the way they're acting towards each other and ask them what their deal is. Bon Bon tells him about the song that Lyra started singing, Lyra mentions how it was only for fun, and then Bon Bon brings up again how she was sleeping with the Warrior (or at least she thought he was). This is when the Warrior steps in tells them that he really has no interest in Lyra in that way (obvious reasons are obvious). So really, all and all, remind them that they're really fighting over nothing. Lyra and Bon Bon finally realize this and at that moment, decide that they're gonna stop fighting, cause Snowflame's right. It really was over nothing. Marriage crisis averted.

Lyra and Bon Bon
After the two of you make up, Lyra apologizes to Bon Bon as they both eat a veggie burger (Lyra has a hot dog). Bon Bon then apologies to Lyra, and so on and so forth and this continues for a few moments, after which both of you laugh for a bit at what you're doing.
After this funny little moment, Lyra tells Bon Bon that she is going to make it up to her. Bon Bon says she don't have to, but Lyra insists that she does.
Then, at that moment, in front of Snowflame, the CMC's, and EVERYPONY THERE.
Lyra stands up and sings this song to Bon Bon

Bon Bon doesn't know how to react to this.

"Is something wrong?" Snowflame asked.

"Oh no, just that Lyra sang an insulting song and then slept with that other human." Bon Bon said.

"I was singing that for fun, and I keep telling you that I didn't sleep with him!" Lyra exclaimed.

"Than why was he on the couch with you?!"

"Because he needed a place to sleep and Lyra was on the couch." Snowflame explained.

"It is true, I, The Ultimate Warrior, would never commit bestiality or contribute to infidelity, especially when those two are combined. It goes against Destrucity!" The Warrior says.

"See you're fighting over nothing."

The two mares think about this and Bon Bon says, "Lyra I'm sorry, I guess I was still angry for that song I wasn't thinking so clearly."

"And I'm sorry too for that song. You know what? I'll make it up to you." Lyra tells her.

"You don't have to do that."

"Oh I insist."

Then some music starts and Lyra stands up.

You've been counting all the days off

Of your calendar for weeks now

You can't wait for Saturday cause

That's the night that it all goes down

From 7:45 to 7:48 PM in particular

Cause that is when I'll give you what you need

Three minutes of ecstasy several nights a month

You just tell me baby if that is too much

When my stuff is on your stuff

Our souls become entwined

For 180 seconds

My sex has blown your mind

Go ahead and call all your girlfriends

And give them the details of how it went down

I know you can't wait, to brag to all of them

About how I took your ass to Vagtown

I'll get my captain's hat, put on my floaties

And we'll set for sexy seas, for at least...

Three minutes of ecstasy

Any more and this house would burn

That's why I don't last longer

Your safety is my main concern

If you haven't finished

Well baby that's just fine

You know that I'm here for you

Oh shit, look at the time

1 one thousand, 2 one thousand

3 one thousand, 4 one thousand

5 one thousand, 6 one thousand

7 one thousand, 8 one thousand

9 one thousand, 10 one thousand

11 one thousand, 12 one thousand

13 one thousand, 14 one thousand

15 one thousand, 16 one thousand

Maybe it's starting to sink in, just how long three minutes really is. Let's skip to the end...

179 one thousand, 180 one thousand

Three minutes of ecstasy

Several nights a month

But not more than four times a month

That would be ridiculous

I'm sure I left you happy

But in case that's not enough

Here's a copy of my headshot

And a drawing of my teats

A drawing of my teats

A drawing of my teats

The music dies down and everyone there just looks at Lyra like they don't have any response to what just happened.

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Light Arrow
Suddenly get the feeling like you totally had a chance to get lucky with Princess Luna but you totally missed it. His friend Steel Wall just calls him and idiot and they go bak to what they're doing. Light doesn't think much of it afterwards.

Light Arrow, a pegasus guard with a dark blue coat and a light purple mane, turned to his fellow guard and friend Steel Wall, a grey unicorn with a light grey mane, and asked, "Huh, hey Steel I just got a weird feeling."

"Of what?" The unicorn asked.

"I feel like I could of gotten laid, but misses out somehow. You ever get that."

"No. Besides even if I did it wouldn't matter, I'm a married stallion."

"Yeah, I see your point." Light says dropping the whole discussion.

Meanwhile in The Crystal Empire...

Zant
Mistake the crystal heart for candy and try to eat it.

At the Crystal Empire
Blueblood cries himself to sleep in his cell
Zant talks to Empress Cadance as they walk to go see the Crystal Heart
.
Cadance: So tell me about this Twilight Realm, I know someone who would love to learn about a place with their name in it.
Zant: Well it’s all shadowy, in a different dimension, and the light has a sepia tone to it. Also it turns you into a wolf sometimes if you wear green spandex.
Disco Dance: (Humming Saria’s Song)
Cadance: Interesting, and who are your friends?
Zant: This is Joey and Screwloose, they handle the busy work that I can’t or don’t want to do
Disco Dance: I WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR, WHERE’S MY STETHOSCOPE?!!!
Screwloose: Bark!
Cadance: (Giggles) well if you’re from this other plain of existence have you yet to visit Canterlot where my aunt Princess Celestia rules?
Zant: Oh I’ve been there, the nobles are so uptight. They judge you and call you crazy just for performing a one man flash mob at a funeral.
Cadance: Oh…Well, um…
Zant: It’s not like the dead pony was doing anything else, why couldn’t I use him as a ventriloquist dummy? And don’t get me started on the cat and the blender.
Cadance just laughs because she thinks it’s a joke.
Zant: But anyway, I didn’t like it there much so then we traveled here and everything was so shiny! But we seem to have lost our god along the way.
Cadance: Your god?
Zant: Oh yes, I met him inside a big happy white house. He turned me into a unicorn and took us to a wonderful party
(Inside Zant’s Head): And the blood, don’t forget about the blood!!! NYEH!!!
Cadance: A god, as in an Alicorn?
Zant: What the hell is an Alicorn, is that like my butler Fluffy?
Cadance: Fluffy?
Zant: Yes, he is a magical winged fire breathing panda, he is a great dancer
Cadance: uhhh no…like me, I’m an Alicorn.
Zant: I’m pretty sure my god is a guy.
Cadance: No, I have both wings and a horn, only I’m not a god like my aunts.
Zant: Oh, no my god is not a pegacorn, he doesn’t have wings, he does have a very tiny penis though, and it drives him to overcompensate in his overall goals through life. That’s actually the same situation that my previous god was in as well.
Disco Dance: (Singing Itsy Bitsy Spider)
Cadance: (A bit disturbed) Oh…well…that’s nice? Well we will look for him as we take the tour.
They come up to the where the Crystal Heart is, and Shining Armor is there
Shining: Hey Honey, what’s with the tour group?
Cadance: Oh these are foreign dignitaries from another dimension called the Twilight Realm
Shining: Really? Wow, Twiley is gonna love to hear about this
Cadance: That’s what I thought, anyway, Zant, Joey, Screwloose, this is my husband, Emperor Shining Armor.
Zant: Hello
Disco Dance: Et Tu Brute?
Screwloose: Bark!
Shining: (to Cadance) Emperor?
Cadance: Of course, Zant here pointed out that we both rule an empire together, so we should take the title that comes with it.
Shining: Hmm…I love it (Smiles)
Cadance: (Turns back to Team Crazy) Anyway, dignitaries, this is the Crystal Heart, the greatest defense in the entire empire. It is powered by the emotions of the Crystal Ponies, and in turn, it powers them.
Zant: Oh Wow, A spinning heart on a pedestal, I haven’t seen one of those since my last birthday!!!
Team Crazy goes to look at it, while Shining Armor talks to his wife
Shining: Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
Cadance: Sure.
Shining: Guess who the guard’s caught running around drunk today.
Cadance: I don’t know, just tell me.
Shining: Prince Blueblood himself (Smirks)
Cadance: Really? That pompous jerk is here? And drunk no less?
Shining: It’s alright, they threw him in a cell, I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I wake him up tomorrow.
Cadance: Hmmph (smirks) well I guess I’ll join as…(CLINK)
They look up to see that Zant has the Crystal Heart in his mouth
Cadance/Shining: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!
Zant: (Takes his teeth off the heart) I thought it was candy
The Crystal Heart starts turning a shade of brown after Zant bites it. It starts humming loudly, and spins faster and faster until a big wave of energy washes over the entire Empire. Every single Crystal Pony turns a shade darker. They all start laughing crazily and saying crazy things.
Cadance: What just happened?
The Crystal Ponies all make their way to the center of the palace and surround Team Crazy and Shining and Cadence
Crystal Ponies:
The kidneys don’t match the drapes!
The Blood! So Warm and Tasty, like Butterscotch!!!
The Future is in the Past!!!
Stop Staring at Me!
Shut Up, I have a Giant Chair!!!
The Hokey Pokey is a Lie!!!
This place is named after the devil, because kid’s love the devil!
Welcome to Kentucky Fried Taco Hut, can I take your order?
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?!
Shining: It’s like they’ve all gone insane!
Cadance: Or gotten brain damage
Zant: Well that can’t be right, they’re not singing about muffins
As soon as Zant speaks, all the crystal ponies stop talking and look to him.
Crystal Ponies: ALL HAIL KING ZANT!!!
Zant: …Well that was unexpected….LIMBO TIME!!!
Every Crystal Pony and the members of Team Crazy start doing the limbo while singing “It’s a Small World After All” While Shining and Cadence have their jaws dropped in bewilderment.

"So tell me about this Twilight Realm, I know someone who would love to learn about a place with their name in it." Empress Cadence says to the trio.

"Well it’s all shadowy, in a different dimension, and the light has a sepia tone to it. Also it turns you into a wolf sometimes if you wear green spandex." Zant explains.

"Interesting, and who are your friends?"

"This is Joey and Screwloose, they handle the busy work that I can’t or don’t want to do."

"I WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR, WHERE’S MY STETHOSCOPE?!" Disco Dance shouts.

Screwloose barks.

Cadence gigglesand says, "Well if you’re from this other plain of existence have you yet to visit Canterlot where my aunt Princess Celestia rules?"

"Oh I’ve been there, the nobles are so uptight. They judge you and call you crazy just for performing a one man flash mob at a funeral." Zant says.

"Oh…Well, um…"

"It’s not like the dead pony was doing anything else, why couldn’t I use him as a ventriloquist dummy? And don’t get me started on the cat and the blender."

Cadance laughs thinking it’s a joke.

"But anyway, I didn’t like it there much so then we traveled here and everything was so shiny! But we seem to have lost our god along the way."

"Your god?"

"Oh yes, I met him inside a big happy white house. He turned me into a unicorn and took us to a wonderful party."

"A god, as in an Alicorn?"

"What the hell is an Alicorn, is that like my butler Fluffy?"

"Fluffy?"

"Yes, he is a magical winged fire breathing panda, he is a great dancer."

"Uhhh no…like me, I’m an Alicorn."

"I’m pretty sure my god is a guy."

"No, I have both wings and a horn, only I’m not a god like my aunts."

"Oh, no my god is not a pegacorn, he doesn’t have wings, he does have a very tiny penis though, and it drives him to overcompensate in his overall goals through life. That’s actually the same situation that my previous god was in as well."

"Oh…well…that’s nice? Well we will look for him as we take the tour."

That's when they come up to the where the Crystal Heart is, and Shining Armor is there, "Hey Honey, what’s with the tour group?"

"Oh these are foreign dignitaries from another dimension called the Twilight Realm."

"Really? Wow, Twiley is gonna love to hear about this."

"That’s what I thought, anyway, Zant, Joey, Screwloose, this is my husband, Emperor Shining Armor."

"Hello." Zant greets.

"Et Tu Brute?" Disco Dance says.

Screwloose barks.

Shining turns to Cadance and asks, "Emperor?"

"Of course, Zant here pointed out that we both rule an empire together, so we should take the titles that comes with it."

"Hmm…I love it." He says smiling.

Cadance turns back to the trio and says, "Anyway, dignitaries, this is the Crystal Heart, the greatest defense in the entire empire. It is powered by the emotions of the Crystal Ponies, and in turn, it powers them."

"Oh Wow, A spinning heart on a pedestal, I haven’t seen one of those since my last birthday!" Zant says as he and the rest of his group go to look at it.

While this is going onShining Armor talks to his wife, "Hey, you wanna hear something funny?"

"Sure." Cadence says.

"Guess who the guard’s caught running around drunk today."

"I don’t know, just tell me."

"Prince Blueblood himself."

"Really? That pompous jerk is here? And drunk no less?"

"It’s alright, they threw him in a cell, I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I wake him up tomorrow."

"Hmmph... Well I guess I’ll join as…"

*CLINK*

They look up to see that Zant has the Crystal Heart in his mouth

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The royal couple shout simultaneously.

Zant takes his teeth off the heart and says, "I thought it was candy."

The Crystal Heart starts turning a shade of brown and it starts humming loudly, and spins faster and faster until a big wave of energy washes over the entire Empire. Even Crystal Ponies turn a shade darker and they all start laughing crazily and saying crazy things.

"The kidneys don’t match the drapes!"

"The Blood! So Warm and Tasty, like Butterscotch!"

"The goggles they do nothing!"

"The Future is in the Past!"

"I am the walrus! Coo Coo Cachoo!"

"Stop Staring at Me!"

"Jason!"

"Shut Up, I have a Giant Chair!"

"SVMWVIHLM RH ZOSEV, ELRXV GDL!"

"The Hokey Pokey is a Lie!"

"Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur."

"This place is named after the devil, because kid’s love the devil!"

"Welcome to Kentucky Fried Taco Hut, can I take your order?"

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

"Everyone expects Viscera!"

"Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?!"

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you to death!"

"Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows!"

"It’s like they’ve all gone insane." Shining says

"Or gotten brain damage." Cadence adds.

"Well that can’t be right, they’re not singing about muffins." Zant says, all the crystal ponies stop talking and look to him.

"ALL HAIL KING ZANT!" All the crystal ponies shout.

"Well that was unexpected….LIMBO TIME!"

Inside the cell, about a minute or so ago...

Meanwhile, in a jail cell with Blueblood(the douchebag of douchebags!)...
Ponder. Ponder why this happens to you. Look back on what happened so far, and come to a conclusion. It's all his fault, isn't it...
That's right... Give in to those dark tendencies...Embrace your hatred...TRANSFORM INTO A DARK REFLECTION OF YOUR SO-
Cue a flash of brown light going through the room. The guard on duty seemed to grow duller in color.
"Bazinga!" the guard shouted. "I must construct additional Pylons!" He runs away, but not before unlocking the cell door, dragging Blueblood (the douchebag of douchebags) out. "Come, we must hail the king of all the internets!" Blueblood(the douchebag of douchebags!) immediately assumes that one of his group members did something stupid, as he is dragged against his will. He sighs in acceptance, no longer giving a fuck about anything. Seriously, he level of not giving a fuck is equilivant to 60's era Spiderman.

Prince Blueblood is sitting in his cell when though it's barred window he sees this wave of brown in the sky and the crystal guard that threw him in there turns darker and shouts, "Bazinga! I must construct additional Pylons!" He then unlocks Blueblood celland opens the door, "Come, we must hail the king of all the internets!", he then runs off.

Blueblood is not sure what just happened, but really at this point he doesn't care.

Name: Zant

Stats

Error 404 File Not Found

Inside the black hole...

Meanwhile in the League of Super-evil- NO.
"What?" said voice #3.
"We are not calling this group that." replied the second voice.
"But-"
"No. We are better than some petty name."
"...Fine. Can we at least-"
"No. Whatever you were about to say, no."
Voice #2 grumbles.
"Hey," said a 5th voice, walking up to the four.
"What the- how did you-" the first voice started to say, but was interrupted by the flaming monkey.
"Yes, hi, is this the league of super-evil?"
"Ye-"
"No.
"Darn."
"State your business here, or you shall be no more."
"Ahem, I was asked by one of you to come to teach you how to laugh maniacaly."
"What?" said the first voice. He looked to the owner of the second voice. "I have no idea about this."
"Err..." the fourth voice began to say. All eyes were locked on it's owner. "My bad?"
The rest just groaned. "Err, am I missing something?" said the fire monkey.
"No no, it's just... You know what? F*ck it, you're not," said the first voice. "It's not like we have anything to do like this..."
"I'll take that as a yes," said the monkey. "Alright, lesson one, what is a maniacal laugh..."

But yes, shenanigans for Evil Mysterious Voices, until the flaming monkey is captured in a pokeball :rainbowlaugh:

"Hey guys!" an Infernape shouts.

"Umm... Who and what are you?" Voice #4 asks.

"And how did you get here?" Voice #3 asks.

"Don't worry I'm just here to teach you how to do an evil laugh. I promise I won't revile who you are. Oh hi De..." the Infernape says before Voice #1 throws a Pokeball at him and capturing it.

"Whatcha just do lad?" Voice #2 asks Voice #1.

"What it was Infernape. You can't catch staters in the wild let alone it's fully evolved form, well fully evolved as long as they don't make a Mega Infernape, which would be awesome." Voice #1 explains.

"Alright... back to business." Voice #4 says

Author's Note

You know, I'm almost tempted to write a story in between .Snowflame Goes into Ponyville and Does Stuff and this one about Trixie and Iron Will's relationship. Do you guys think I should?

If yes I'll do it, but not right away.

Also I'm puting this story on hold for a little while. I promise it won't be a full on hiatus like last time.

I just have a one shot I want to write and I'll talk to Razor about chapter 6 of Dimensional Battle Royale.

Prince Blueblood's Finest Hour (29)

Lyra and Bon Bon
BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!
Everyone and everypony just keeps staring at Lyra for several moments in complete silence. Nopony speaks, and there might even be the sound of crickets in the background, which makes no sense cause it's not really nighttime, but for comedic effect, we can let it slide. Even the CMC's aren't sure at all what they just watched.
After several moments of silence though, Bon Bon just sighs loudly, and to take a cue from Browndogg, this conversation happens.
Bon Bon: You know what, I'm not even gonna get mad at you right now. I'm just not.
Lyra: So.............. are we cool?
BB: Yeah.... we're cool.
Then at that they hug.
BB: Just promise me one thing Lyra.
L: What.
BB: Please never ever ever ever ever ever ever..... ever ever ever..... ever ever ever ever...... *add as many "ever"s as you want* EVER EVER..... EVER. Sing again.
L: Noted.
Then at that things go back to the way they were before with them.

Everypony just kept staring at Lyra, it was so quite that you could here a cricket chirp in the in the background, which was weird considering that it's the afternoon.

After several moments Bon Bon sighs and says, "You know what, I'm not even gonna get mad at you right now. I'm just not."

"So.............. are we cool?" Lyra asks.

"Yeah.... we're cool.", They then hug and Bon Bon says, "Just promise me one thing Lyra."

"What?"

"Please never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever sing again."

"Noted, but no promises."

Bon Bon just sighs and says, "Fine."

At the BBQ
The Ultimate Warrior speaks with Lyra and Bon Bon directly
Lyra: Hello, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself, I am Lyra and this is Bon Bon. So, tell me about yourself, I didn’t get a chance to talk with you after all the drama this morning. You said you were the Ultimate Warrior?
Warrior: Yes, I am the disciple of Destrucity, I walk the planes of death and brutality in pursuit of my one golden ticket of a wish, to become Heavy Weight Champion of the World!!!!
Bon Bon: ….Okaaayyy…..What does that mean?
Warrior: I will defeat my limp noodle opponents, breaking them over my knee like pelican necks. One by one they will fall, until only HE remains. Once I defeat Hoke Hogan, I will use duct tape to rip his moustache off and jam it down his throat with sweet burning Cinamony vengeance!!!! SKRONK
Lyra: Really? That’s interesting, how did you get here?
Warrior: I pierced the veil of time and space and reality in a vessel that was a gift from the dark mysterious gods. I failed to defeat my new friend, so now I am learning what being friends mean. It is like a swirling vortex of never ending chocolate, I love it!
Bon Bon: (So Confused, looks to Lyra) How is it that there is someone else more confusing than Snowflame?
Lyra: What? I understood him, He’s a wrestler that can’t quite beat one opponent so he made a pact with some gods that sent him here to defeat Snowflame.
Warrior: Correctumundo sea foam blanket!
Bon Bon: …How did you get that out of what he just said?
Lyra: I listened, duh…try it sometime
Bon Bon gives her a dirty look.

The Ultimate Warrior then goes up to speaks with Lyra and Bon Bon directly.

"Hello, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself, I am Lyra and this is Bon Bon. So, tell me about yourself, I didn’t get a chance to talk with you after all the drama this morning. You said you were the Ultimate Warrior?" Lyra asked.

"Yes, I am the disciple of Destrucity, I walk the planes of death and brutality in pursuit of my one golden ticket of a wish, to become Heavy Weight Champion of the World!" The Warrior said.

"….Okaaayyy…..What does that mean?" Bon Bon asks.

"I will defeat my limp noodle opponents, breaking them over my knee like pelican necks. One by one they will fall, until only HE remains. Once I defeat Hoke Hogan, I will use duct tape to rip his moustache off and jam it down his throat with sweet burning Cinamony vengeance! *SKRONK*"

"Really? That’s interesting, how did you get here?" Lyra asks.

"I pierced the veil of time and space and reality in a vessel that was a gift from the dark mysterious gods. I failed to defeat my new friend, so now I am learning what being friends mean. It is like a swirling vortex of never ending chocolate, I love it!"

Bon Bon gives a confused look to Lyra and asks her, "How is it that there is someone else more confusing than Snowflame?"

"What? I understood him, He’s a wrestler that can’t quite beat one opponent so he made a pact with some gods that sent him here to defeat Snowflame." Lyra said.

"Correctumundo sea foam blanket!" The Warrior shouts.

"…How did you get that out of what he just said?" Bon Bon asked.

"I listened." Lyra simply says.

Snowflame gathers up his new team, and they take center stage in front of all the attending Ponies.
Snowflame: Team Snowflame thanks you for coming to our party. It was hard work killing this dragon, but in the end, the only hole big enough for his corpse, was our stomachs. Thank you.
Ponies look kind of put off about what he said, and Fluttershy just faints.
Snowflame: Stop fainting shy one! Snowflame swears to cocaine, that’s all you do in this story!
The CMC take this opportunity to talk while she is passed out
Applebloom: If dragons taste this good, imagine how good other critters must taste.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah, Fluttershy has lots of different kinds, we can sample everything
Scootaloo: To the Buffet, let’s start with the chickens
They leave on her Scooter to go to Fluttershy’s house
Snowflame calls upon Team Snowflame to meet up.
Snowflame: Now we have to go to our new HQ and talk about stuff
Spike: HQ?
Snowflame: Yep, it’s a tiny blue box that is actually a time machine space ship
Luna: (Still High) THAT SOUNDS FANTASTIC , LET’S GO THERE!!!!
The Tardis is currently in Ponyville, and if Snowflame hasn't seen it before, there is a simple solution to that
Snowflame: Hey Tennant Smith
"Time Turner": Huh?
Snowflame: Where's the blue box at?
"Time Turner" tells him where he and Derpy left it after being teleported in yesterday
They make their way to the TARDIS and Luna recognizes it.
Luna: THIS IS THE DOCTOR’S
Snowflame: Snowflame knows, he said we could have it.
Obito: It’s just a box though
Snowflame (uses the key and opens it up) Oh Really?
Spike: whoah
Obito: (Jaw Drop)
Warrior: It is Bigger on the Inside!!!!

Snowflame
While you do have access to the TARDIS now, there are several problems with going to get it. The first if which is that it is currently in Canterlot somewhere, and you are in Ponyville. The second being that even if you were to have Luna teleport you all the way back to Canterlot, you have no idea where it's parked, and since it's the Doctor, he's probably parked it where nobody (or pony) is gonna look at it, cause how often do people find his TARDIS in the show :pinkiehappy: (quite a lot actually but that's beside the point), even if somepony did happen across it, they'd more than likely just ignore it, and if on the off chance the guards found it, then they more than likely took it away and it's safe in storage in the castle somewhere, assuming they ever found it at all of course. You do suppose you could just get Derpy to tell you where it is, but for obvious reason she's probably not about to tell you.
Also there is the fact that the TARDIS is kind of sentient to a rather significant degree and probably would have problems with being operated by anyone other than the Doctor, especially SNOWFLAME!!!
So yeah, while you do have access to the TARDIS right now, you still do not know where it is, so yeah, still no HQ for right now. Still, good job though, you managed to get the TARDIS key from the Doctor, not an easy thing to accomplish. Then again, since this is the TARDIS, it will more than likely appear when it is needed, so there is no need to worry about not having it right now.
But anyway, on to other shenanigans.
So Team Snowflame is now full formed, but something still doesn't quite feel right. You're a team, and you've got everything, but something is still missing.... Then, suddenly, the memory of Lyra singing a few seconds ago comes back to bite you in the face, and suddenly you know what it is you are missing. You need a kick ass theme song. A song that basically screams out "WE ARE HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM! AND WE'RE ALL OUT OF GUM!!!"
Warrior suggests his theme song

But you and the other's really don't think that'll work cause that song is just the Warrior's theme, for just him. You are a team, you need a team theme song.... and EPIC team theme song.
SUDDENLY!
Snowflame: HIT THE MUSIC!!!
Obito: Who are you talking t- *Is cut off by the music*
SUDDENLY, EPIC TEAM INTRO MONTAGE SET TO THIS MUSIC!!!

Blueblood: Oh yes Mr. Snowflame you will pay for your attack on my coat, I will assure you that. You will pay.
Snowflame: Snowflame actually has a team to lead... Snowflame feels so happy.
*EPIC FLASHES OF AWESOMENESS AS THE TEAM'S LOGO APEARS ON THE SCREEN, WHICH SINCE THE DON'T HAVE A LOGO, THEY JUST USE A STAND-IN FOR NOW*
*ONE BY ONE IT CUTS TO SCENES OF THEM BEING AWESOME AND KICKING ASS AS IT INTRODUCES THEM*
Will Wolfgram as Snowflame
James Hellwig as The Ultimate Warrior
Bruce Campbell as Spike
Richard Cansino as Obito
(Note: This is Vega's voice actor for the Street Fighter anime movies, I'm assuming that that is what he is supposed to sound like)
Tabitha St. Germain as Princess Luna
*Random flashes of all of them before they do an epic pose*
Tara Strong and Nicole Oliver as Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia
(I wanted to do Lyra and Bon Bon originally but they don't have set voice actresses so yeah)
John De Lancie as Discord
Producer
Sarah Wall
Executive Producers
Meghan McCarthy
Jayson Thiessen
My Little Pony, Snowflame, and Warrior are all properties of Hasbro, DC Comics, and WWE respectively. No copyright infringement is intended please support the official release.
*AND END SCENE!!!*
Obito: The bloody Tartarus was that?
Snowflame: That my masked clawed still on probation friend, is what my god cocaine would call.... awesomeness.
Luna: I LIKE IT!!!

Actually the TARDIS got teleported to the middle of Ponyville by Celestia back in Chapter 18, so they do have access to it seeing as how it's out in the open on the way to the Library and all. Also, since Snowflame knows what it looks like, he wouldn't just glance over it like other ponies. And even with the TARDIS's sentience, she just might be in the mood for shenanigans, she let Snowflame on board the first time. She let that one lady semi-evil lady pilot her in the last Christmas episode. Also, "Time Turner" still doesn't know what it is, he'll let them know and Derpy will be none the wiser :pinkiehappy:

Snowflame gathers up his new team, and they take center stage in front of all the attending Ponies and says, "Team Snowflame thanks you for coming to our party. It was hard work killing this dragon, but in the end, the only hole big enough for his corpse, was our stomachs. Thank you."

The ponies look kind of put off about what he said, and Fluttershy just faints.

"Stop fainting shy one! Snowflame swears to cocaine, that’s all you do in this story!", Snowflame then calls upon Team Snowflame to meet up, "Now we have to go to our new HQ and talk about stuff."

"HQ?" Spike asks.

"Yep, it’s a tiny blue box that is actually a time machine space ship."

"THAT SOUNDS FANTASTIC , LET’S GO THERE!" Luna says.

"Hey Tennant Smith!" Snowflame calls to at "Time Turner".

"Time Turner" turns to him and says, "Huh?"

"Where's the blue box at?"

"I believe it's in the middle of town."

"Sounds good to Snowflame. To the box!"

*Enough time for them to get to the center of Ponyville later...

They make their way to the TARDIS and Luna recognizes it, "THIS IS THE DOCTOR’S!"

"Snowflame knows, he said we could have it." Snowflame tells her.

"It’s just a box though. There's no way in tartarus that we're going to fit in there." Obito says.

Snowflame uses the key in the door and opens it up, "Oh Really?"

Spike just says "Woah."

Obito's jaw drop.

"It is Bigger on the Inside!" The Warrior shouts.

"Now Snowflame also thinks we need a theme song." Snowflame says.

"How about The Warrior's theme from back in the World Wrestling Federation?!"

"No Snowflame has a better idea."

Some music starts.

"Oh yes Mr. Snowflame you will pay for your attack on my coat, I will assure you that. You will pay." Prince Blueblood's voice echos.

"Snowflame actually has a team to lead... Snowflame feels so happy." Snowflame's voice then echos.

*EPIC FLASHES OF AWESOMENESS AS THE TEAM'S LOGO APEARS ON THE SCREEN, WHICH SINCE THE DON'T HAVE A LOGO, THEY JUST USE A STAND-IN (A BRICK OF COCAINE) FOR NOW*

*ONE BY ONE IT CUTS TO SCENES OF THEM BEING AWESOME AND KICKING ASS AS IT INTRODUCES THEM*

Will Wolfgram as Snowflame

James Hellwig as The Ultimate Warrior

Bruce Campbell as Spike

Richard Cansino as Obito

Tabitha St. Germain as Princess Luna

*Random flashes of all of them before they do an epic pose*

Tara Strong and Nicole Oliver as Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia

John De Lancie as Discord

Producer

Sarah Wall

Executive Producers

Meghan McCarthy

Jayson Thiessen

My Little Pony, Snowflame, and The Ultimate Warrior are all properties of Hasbro, DC Comics, and WWE respectively. No copyright infringement is intended please support the official release.

*AND END SCENE!!!*

"The bloody Tartarus was that?!" Obito asks.

"That my masked clawed still on probation friend, is what my god cocaine would call.... awesomeness." Snowflame tells the assassin.

"I LIKE IT!" Luna says.

*Some Time Later...

Luna
Now that you are on an as of this moment, infinite coffee high, go talk to Obito again and be VERY unsubtle about how you want to take him behind one of those houses and pretend to be bunnies (you know what I mean :ajsmug:), as well as many other things.
Use this for reference (7:53 onwards)

Obito
Luna is telling you... things... React appropriately.

Pinkie Pie
Look over and see Luna talking to Obito, and hear very clearly what she is telling him.... is that... jealousy... you're feeling... if so, react appropriately.

Obito was exploring the TARTIS, when Princess Luna appeared behind him.

"Oh hello Princess." Obito greeted.

"Hello Mr. Obito." Luna says with bedroom eyes, "You want to pretend to be bunnies?"

"What?"

"You know I'll play with your horn for a while."

"What?"

Luna sighed and shouted, "I WANT TO TASTE YOUR SPOTTED DICK! I WANT TO BUTTER YOUR CRUMPET! BANG YOUR MASH! CLIMB YOU APPLES AND PEARS! SPREAD YOUR MARMITE! MINSTER YOUR SILLY WALK! VINEGAR YOUR CHIP! I! WANT! TO! BUCK! YOU!"

Obito didn't know what to say, but even if he did Pinkie Pie popped out of nowhere and hisses, "He's mine!"

Meanwhile in Canterlot,
Discord Walks out of Celestia’s room, tired out
He makes it back to his room where he all but falls in his chair from Exhaustion.
Discord: Damn, I believe this side of Celestia is gonna kill me….(becomes horrified) Oh Buck My Life, I’m in some sort of relationship aren’t I?
Sees Diary on his table. He smirks and looks at some passages.
He reads like 3 or 4 and becomes disturbed by what Twilight has written.
Discord: And here I thought my mind was twisted, I mean…damn, what is wrong with this girl?

Meanwhile at Canterlot...

Discord teleports back to his room, tried out, "Damn, I believe this side of Celestia is gonna kill me… Oh Buck My Life, I’m in some sort of relationship aren’t I?" He looks over and see a book on his table. He snaps it over to him to read it. He looks at on page and quickly closes it. "And here I thought my mind was twisted. I mean... damn, what is wrong with this girl?! I may have to stay out of this story for a little while to read all this."

Meanwhile at the Wedding
Rainbow Dash is denied entrance. She makes such a fuss yelling and cursing about the day she had being man handled by a hairless ape and that she just wants in because she was there yesterday. When she is still refused, she makes a scene and is taken away by guards, and Spitfire and Soarin see this.
Soarin: Yeesh
Spitfire: Is that really what we want on our team?
Soarin: Nope
Spitfire: Well that’s twice she’s interrupted our big day, ground her and put her on probation.

Meanwhile at the Wedding

Rainbow Dash makes her way to the entrance, but the usher, who was a male griffin, blocks her.

"What the hey?" Rainbow asks.

"Sorry, but Soarin and Spitfire have taken you off of the list Miss Dash." The Griffin explains.

"WHY IN TARTARUS WOULD THEY DO THAT! I DID NOTHING WRONG! I WANT TO BE AT THIS WEDDING!"

Nearby Soarin and Spitfire see her reaction, Spitfire turns to Soarin and asks, "Is that really what we want on our team?"

"Nope." Soarin says.

"Well that’s twice she’s interrupted our big day, ground her and put her on probation."

Meanwhile in the now Insane Crystal Empire
Cadance: What have you done?!
Zant: I did the limbo stick dance Charlie, it’s now time to go to candy mountain! Nyeh!!!
Crystal Ponies: NYEH!!!
Zant: And now it’s time for the Macarena (Music Starts and they all start dancing)
Shining: This is weird, change them back change them back (talking to his wife)
Blueblood walks through the crowd and is just flabbergasted, he sees Zant and yells
Blueblood: Oh My Celestia Zant, what did you do?!
The sea of crazy ponies silences and parts around Blueblood giving him a path to team crazy
Zant: My Lord! There you are, I have conquered an entire nation in my quest for candy!
Crystal Ponies: ALL HAIL THE LORD AND SAVIOR PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!!!!
They raise Blueblood on their shoulders
Blueblood: I…uh….
Cadance: Blueblood?! You brought these ponies here? What’s your game?! (Angrily)
Blueblood: I….Wha….?
Zant: Yes, praise his overcompensation!
Crystal Ponies: HAIL THE BELOW AVERAGE LENGTH OF OUR GOD’S PENIS!!!
Blueblood is embarrassed and confused while Shining snickers. Cadance on the other hand is pissed.
Cadance: Enough of this (She uses her magic on the heart, but the insanity is too strong)
Cadance: (Struggling to speak) How…can…there…be…so much…Insanity?!
The brown energy goes down her own magic stream and enters her horn. She opens her eyes and begins laughing.
Shining: Cadance? (Worriedly)
Cadance starts bouncing around like Pinkie Pie
Cadance: NINJA! NINJA! NINJA! PIRATE…WAIT NO, DAMNIT!!!
Shining: Cadance? (Scared)
Cadance: OH Hello, Sir Bedeviere, will you make me a large wooden badger?!!!
Shining: (to Blueblood) WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!
Blueblood: I don’t know (confused/worried)
Zant: Oh goody, now we have a uni-sus on our team. How exciting. Fluffy! Do the dance of joy!
The Crystal Ponies, Team Crazy and Cadance all make a circle around nothing and comment on how great a dancer Fluffy is.
The only two sane mind’s left (Blueblood and Shining) are just mesmerized by the insanity.
Shining snaps at Zant
Shining: Turn my wife back to normal now!
Zant: Oh alright, every party needs a pooper, that’s why we invited you
Zant’s magic begins and Blueblood tries to stop it
Blueblood: No wait, don’t…
Zant’s magic teleports Shining Armor away.
Zant: Whoops
Blueblood: Oh Celestia, did you kill him?
Zant: I don’t think so, I wonder where he went
Somewhere in Mexicolt
Shining lands in the middle of the living room where the Fancy Pant’s Staff is cleaning.
Shining: What the, where am I?
Maid: You need to clean…clean now
Shining: What? No, I need to get back to the Crystal Empire and save my wife!
Maid: No, no…you clean (hands him apron and sponge)
Shining: What the buck is going on?!
Back at the Crystal Empire
Shining Armor get's teleported back to the Empire with his Apron on. He's had enough, he grabs his still babbling wife and runs off towards the train station with her.
Cadance: I need a thousand pounds of shrimp! I don’t know why yet!
Shining: Don't worry baby, I'll get you back to normal, we're going to Canterlot
Cadance: Yay! Maybe Aunt Celestia will want to engage in a threesome with us!
Shining: What?!
Cadance: Or Tartarus, throw Discord or Luna or your sister in there as well, we'll make it a foursome or a fivesome or even a Sixsome!
Shining: Babe, I know you're insane right now, but no, I don't want to do that!
Cadance: Spoilsport! (sticks her tongue out at him as he carries her)
Blueblood: (Sighs) Oh sure they get to get away from the madness, and I'm stuck dead center.
Zant: Cheer up my lord, we own an empire now, I call the big freaking chair
Disco Dance: I WANT THE MILK CRATES!!!
Screwloose: Bark
Blueblood sighs again
Blueblood: Great, I’m the god of the insane (Puts head down)
He then thinks for a second
Blueblood: Wait a minute, I'm the god of thousands of loyal, insane, violent psychopaths. That hairless monkey has no chance (Smiles Evily) Now all I have to do is reign Zant in.
Zant is talking on his "phone"
Zant: Hello mom, I have an empire now
Zant's Mom: That's nice dear
Blueblood: (Sigh) If only it were that easy

Cadence and Shining Armor
And now it's time to get out of here. Yeah, whatever's just happened, you're gonna need some help with this. Quickly, while everypony is distracted by limboing and Blueblood (which shocks the hell out of both of you) quickly get on the train and head back to Canterlot to warn Celestia.
Or you could just have Cadence teleport you there, her being an alicorn and all.

Meanwhile in the Crystal Empire...

"What have you done?!" Cadence shouts.

"I did the limbo stick dance Charlie, it’s now time to go to candy mountain! Nyeh!" Zant exclaims

"NYEH!" All the crystal ponies respond.

"This is weird, change them back! Change them back!" Shining Armor says to his wife.

That's when Prince Blueblood walks through the crowd and is just flabbergasted, he sees Zant and yells, "Oh My Celestia Zant, what did you do?!"

The sea of crazy ponies silences and parts around Blueblood giving him a path to the rest of team crazy.

"My Lord! There you are, I have conquered an entire nation in my quest for candy!" Zant tells Blueblood.
the

"ALL HAIL THE LORD AND SAVIOR PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!" The crystal ponies cheer before they raise Blueblood on their shoulders

"I…uh…." Is the only reaction Blueblood can make.

"Blueblood?! You brought these ponies here? What’s your game?!" Cadence asks angrily.

"I….Wha….?"

"Yes, praise his overcompensation!" Zant shouts.

"HAIL THE BELOW AVERAGE LENGTH OF OUR GOD’S PENIS!" The crystal ponies shout.

"Enough of this!" Cadence shouts as she uses her magic on the crystal heart, but her blue magic is soon overtaken by the brown insanity energy, "How…can…there…be…so much…Insanity?!", she is able to say right before it enters her horn. She opens her eyes and begins laughing.

"Cadance?" Shining Armor asks, worried.

Cadance starts bouncing around like Pinkie Pie and shouts, "NINJA! NINJA! NINJA! PIRATE…WAIT NO, DAMNIT!"

"Cadance?" He asks again, now scared.

"OH Hello, Sir Bedeviere, will you make me a large wooden badger?!"

Shining turns to Blueblood and angerly shouts, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I don’t know!" Blueblood tells him in a tone that's a mix of confused/worried.

"Oh goody, now we have a uni-sus on our team. How exciting. Fluffy! Do the dance of joy!" Zant commands the non-existent panda, which the crystal ponies, Team Crazy and Cadance all make a circle around nothing and comment on how great a dancer Fluffy is.
The only two sane mind’s left, Blueblood and Shining, are just mesmerized by the insanity.

"Turn my wife back to normal now!" Shining shouts, snapping at Zant.

"Oh alright, every party needs a pooper, that’s why we invited you." Zant sings as his magic begins.

"No wait, don’t…" Blueblood shuts tryinh to stop it.

Then with a flash from Zant’s horn Shining Armor is gone.

"Whoopies!"

"Oh Celestia, did you kill him?"

"I don’t think so, I wonder where he went."

Somewhere in Mexicolt...

Shining lands in the middle of the living room where the Fancy Pants’s Staff is cleaning.

"What the, where am I?" The Emperor asks.

"You need to clean…clean now." A female donkey says to him

"What? No, I need to get back to the Crystal Empire and save my wife!"

"No, no…you clean." She hoofs him pink apron and sponge.

"What the buck is going on?!"

Back at the Crystal Empire...

Shining Armor teleports back to the Empire with his Apron on, and he's had enough, he grabs his still babbling wife with his magic and runs off towards the train station with her.

"I need a thousand pounds of shrimp! I don’t know why yet!" Candence tells him.

"Don't worry baby, I'll get you back to normal, we're going to Canterlot." Shining says, mostly to calm himself down.

"Yay! Maybe Aunt Celestia will want to engage in a threesome with us!"

"What?!"

"Or Tartarus, throw Discord or Luna or your sister in there as well, we'll make it a foursome or a fivesome or even a Sixsome!"

"Babe, I know you're insane right now, but no, I don't want to do that!"

"Spoilsport!" She sticks her tongue out at him as he carries her.

Blueblood sighs and says, "Oh sure they get to get away from the madness, and I'm stuck dead center."

"Cheer up my lord, we own an empire now, I call the big freaking chair!" Zant says.

"I WANT THE MILK CRATES!" Disco Dance says.

Screwloose barks.

Blueblood sighs again, "Great, I’m the god of the insane... Wait a minute, I'm the god of thousands of loyal, insane, violent psychopaths. That hairless monkey has no chance.", He smiles evily and some music begins to play.

It's great to be a king! I seem to have a knack

For taking everything I want and giving nothing back!

I'll take away your jellies; I'll take away your jams!

Have a nice vacation while I take your travel plans!

Now that I have the power, this is my finest hour!

Nothing on this Earth can stop me, now!

Everything is mine, to finally have control!

Why, excuse me, I hope I don't sound too droll.

I'll take your color TV's, and a banana, if you please.

And I'll put an end to this silly world peace!

Fools! While I watch you cower, this is my finest hour.

Bait you on my hook, just like a worm!

Before I crush you like a bug, come over here and give me a hug.

It gives me so much joy to watch you squirm!

As Blueblood finishes singing Zant just looks at him and says, "And people say I'm crazy."

Author's Note

Next Chapter is going to be a little different, like the pony combat chapters of Razor's stories, be prepared for...

Pinkie PieVs.Princess Luna

So just post comments on that fight. Also because of the song at the end of this chapter I kinda want someone to draw Blueblood dressed like King K. Rool. :derpytongue2:

Pinkie Pie vs. Princess Luna (30)

Pinkie Pie:
Okay, Luna is pretty much a goddess who is now just as insane as you are thanks to all the coffee. So whatever you do. DO NOT STAY STILL AT ALL! NOT EVEN FOR ONE MOMENT! You also have access to hammerspace. So pull impromptu objects from said hammerspace and throw them at Luna. Just keep throwing things at her and whatever you do, WHATEVER YOU DO.... DO NOT GET CLOSE! If you get close to her, she'll pretty much tear you apart with her magic. Keep this strategy in mind and keep her off your back as long as you can.
If you somehow manage to lead her into the pool that the Tardis has. Dunk her into the water and see how long you can keep her there. If nothing else, it will get her wings wet so she can't fly.
Also how the hell did you get in the TARDIS let alone know where Obito was?
Luna:
By all accounts this should be pretty much like swatting a fly. She's an earth pony, you're pretty much a goddess. So with that in mind. You have magic. USE IT!!!
Pull out EVERY magic trick and attack that you know, and be even surprised yourself how much the coffee seems to amplify your powers (note: It's really not, she's just putting more energy and effort into her attacks so she only THINKS that it's amplifying her power, which it really isn't. Why is this important? Well cause it's gonna make her tired much quicker).
If and when Pinkie Pie throws anything at you, just grab it with your magic and throw it back at her. And/or combine it somehow to make an impromptu missile.
If this fight somehow ends up in the TARDIS library, then GET THE F:yay:CK OUT OF THERE Because even you know the importance of books.
And for the coup de grace.

Both of You:
Include mane pulling at some point. :pinkiehappy:
Why? Because this is a cat-fight, you just have to.
Obito:
See if you can figure out some way to stop these two CRAZY mares from killing each other. As.... well lets be honest here. Enticing, to see as this is, you don't really want them killing each other. As insane as the pink one is, you don't really want her blood on your hands... hooves.
Whatever you do though, don't get in the way of Luna's FINAL FLASH! Cause seriously, that'll just obliterate you (please no killing Obito :fluttercry:). There won't even be atoms left.

Alright, Luna is hopped up on Liquid Cocaine and has the power of the moon on her side. Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. They are evenly matched.
They start tugging on Obito's arms and they slap down Snowflame and Spike when they try to intervene, while the Warrior just watches curiously.
Luna fires a bolt of magic at Pinkie, but she dodges it and it hits the console of the TARDIS, thus activating it and sending everyone through time and space. While the TARDIS is flying randomly due to the fight, it crashes into a Hydra and kills it.
Pinkie Pie will then use a giant mallet which she pulls out of hammer space and whacks Luna upside the head with it. Luna then takes Spike's chainsaw and revs it up and slices it at Pinkie, and it lops off some of her hair.
Pinkie Gasps in anger and then tackles Luna out of the door and into the time vortex. While Snowflame and the rest follow behind unwillingly in the TARDIS.
At this point they are just catfighting with bites and hair pulling and punches as they tumble through multiple dimensions.
Snowflame: What the hell?! What did Snowflame tell you about you and the Pink Pony?! (Angrily)
Obito: I swear to Celestia this isn't my fault.
Spike: It doesn't matter, after them
Snowflame: Snowflame can't fly this thing!
Warrior: Fear not, we ride the waves of Destrucity (Points out the door at vortex)
They end up crashing through the Enterprise causing Spock to have a meltdown trying to find logic in two fighting ponies. The vortex then teleports them over the Death Star where it catches Luke's attention, causing him to get shot and not blow up the death star.
Then they end up in the Woolie Hole surrounded by a bunch of short haired women shouting Mahvel Time.
Pinkie: Oh no, the lair of the pie stealer. I have to get out of here (punches Luna and jumps into glowing vortex as Luna follows) he's not getting this pie.
They then teleport into the middle of a crime scene in Miami.
Detective Caine: ...I got nothing...
CSI Miami Opening: YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
They then land in the middle of the WWE where a big reveal was about to happen.
The audience is mesmorized. Vince McMahon sees an opportunity.
McMahon: It Was Ponies Austin!!! It was Ponies all along!
Their fight starts an all out brawl while they tumble back into the vortex. The Ultimate Warrior wants to join, but the TARDIS doesn't stay for very long.
The then tumble into the lair of a James Bond villain and stop Bond from escaping the laser trap and his nuts are burned off by a laser, they sink the Titanic and countless other shenanigans in different dimensions that Ken comes up with.
They then land in the middle of Termina where the moon has a big angry face giving Luna more power. She force pushes Pinkie into the tower where she comes to rest at the Happy Mask Salesman's feet. Before Luna can attack further she becomes frozen in the air, Pinkie can't move either.
HMS: Well if it isn't a couple of namby pamby ponies ruining my game
Luna: What is this? Why can't we move?
HMS: Because I will it to, obviously.
Pinkie: Oh No! He's a salesman! We're doomed! All salesman are evil!
Luna: Release us immediately you evil fiend!
HMS: ha ha ha, I'm not evil, I'm just incredible pissed off at having a HOLE BLOWN IN MY GODDAMNED WALL!!!
He begins choking Luna
HMS: I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU! SUFFER! SUFFER YOU SON OF A BITCH SUFFFFEEERRR!!!! (Stops choking) and let that be a warning to you
Luna: You beast! You could of choked me to death!
HMS: and if you piss me off again, I'll finish the job, and take your pink friend here with you.
Luna: How do you have so much power?
HMS: Because reality is my bitch, and I keep my pimp hand strong.
Pinkie: I told you salesman are evil!
The Tardis shows up but he stops it as well. He then opens the door and throws Pinkie and Luna into it.
HMS: Alright, I'm sending you back to your own place and time. Don't come back again because I won't just kill you...I'll rape you
Luna/Pinkie: WHAT? OH MY...
HMS: Mentally...
Luna: Oh...
Pinkie: Well I guess that...
HMS: And physically!
Luna/Pinkie: Why!
HMS: At the same time
Luna/Pinkie: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Snaps his fingers and the TARDIS ends up floating over the Everfree forest.
Once they find out they are unfrozen, the two tackle eachother again, but luckily Snowflame and Spike are able to pull them apart.
Pinkie: He's mine!
Luna: No Mine!
Pinkie: Mine!
Luna: Mine!
Warrior: ENOUGH YOU DIVAS, THIS FORCED FARCE HAS GONE ON TOO LONG!!!
They look to the Warrior.
Warrior: Look at this limp noodle slice of beef jerky, I mean really look at him (points at Obito who just nervously waves)
Warrior: I've had Slim Jims thicker than this putz, and you two are seriously going to fight over him?! (Obito feels demeaned)
Pinkie: well, he is rather decent looking
Luna: he...is male
Warrior: You two can do a hell of a lot better!!! You are only experiencing the unholy high of loneliness and desperation!!!
Luna: But I haven't been laid in a thousand years!!! (Whining)
Pinkie: and I've never really hung out with a male pony that wasn't related to me or the girls
Warrior: IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! When you're hungry you think all food looks good, but you can't settle for substitution beef (Points at Obito), you have to wait for the premium stuff that costs extra, the stuff that doesn't come with coupons! Only then will you be satisfied.
Everyone is speechless at the Warrior's Words
Snowflame: Wow, deep bro.
Spike: Ya...for you that is.
Warrior: I have my moments! (Skronk)
Pinkie: I guess he's right...I'm sorry princess Luna
Luna: As am I...but still...a thousand years...
Obito: Ummm...If it helps the situation, I actually already have a girlfriend.
Everyone: WHAT!!!!
Snowflame: You couldn't have said that sooner?!
Obito: Ummm...
Snowflame: Go to your room (Points down corridor)
Obito: What room? I don't have...
Snowflame: Go to it...
Obito bitterly goes to his "room" walking deeper into the TARDIS.
Luna: Well I feel like an idiot now
Pinkie: Me too
Snowflame: Well Snowflame thinks we've all learned a valuable lesson here today.
Luna: Right, don't desperately fight your friends
Pinkie: Especially over a guy.
Snowflame: No, the lesson is that we don't know how to fly this thing.
TARDIS decides to fly around uncontrollably around Equestria

Pinkie grabs onto one of Obito's forelegs, Luna then grabs the other, and Ttey start tugging on Obito's forelegs.

Snowflame, The Warrior and Spike enter then undisclosed TARDIS room and see this sight.

"Umm a little help here?" Obito says.

STAY OUT OF THIS!!! Pinkie and Luna both hissed at the three of them simultaneously.

They both throw Obito to the side, and Luna fires a bolt of magic at Pinkie, but she dodges it.

Pinkie Pie will then use a giant mallet which she pulls out of hammer space and whacks Luna upside the head with it. Luna rools a few feet, then she takes Spike's chainsaw and revs it up and slices it at Pinkie, and it lops off some of her hair.

Pinkie Gasps in anger and then tackles Luna out of the door and into the time vortex and they just disappear.

"What the hell?! What did Snowflame tell you about you and the Pink Pony?!" Snowflame says to Obito angrily.

"I swear to Celestia this isn't my fault." Obiot tells him.

"It doesn't matter, after them." Spike says.

"Snowflame can't fly this thing!" Snowflame says

"Fear not, we ride the waves of Destrucity!" The Warrior says pointing out the door at vortex.

In the Star Trek Universe...

Pinkie and Luna keep punching each other and pulling each other in one of the hallways of the Enterprise, they soon disappear followed by the TARDIS. Nearby Spock, who witnessed this, is about to have a meltdown trying to find logic in two fighting ponies.

In the Star Wars Universe...

The vortex then teleports them over the Death Star where it catches Luke's attention, while he is distracted by two fighting ponies in space his ship ends up getting shot down, crashing into the side of the trench and blowing up
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

In the Woolie Hole...

Then they end up surrounded by a bunch of short haired women shouting "Mahvel Time!", where nearby Blanka and Zubaz are playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3 with custom fightsticks.

"Oh no, the lair of the pie stealer. I have to get out of here!", Pinkie says as she punches Luna and jumps into glowing vortex as Luna follows, "He's not getting this pie!"

In the CSI Universe...

They then teleport into the middle of a crime scene in Miami, Luna blast Pinkie with her magic and they disappear into the vortex again.

Detective Caine just stares at this and just says, "...I got nothing..."

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

In some alternate universe, at a WWE Event

They then land in the middle of the wrestling ring, as a big reveal was about to happen. Pinkie bounces off of the rope kicking Luna in the face. Luna grabs a nearby chair with her magic and hits Pinkie in the side of the head with with it.

The audience is memorized by this, but Vince McMahon sees an opportunity in this unexpected event, "It Was Ponies Austin! It was Ponies all along!"

That's when Luna, Pinkie and the TARDIS disappear again.

In the James Bond Universe...

The then tumble into the lair of a James Bond villain and this distracts Bond while his strapped to a table with a lazor pointing him, preventing him from escaping the laser trap and his nuts are burned off by a laser, making him scream in horrible, horrible pain.

In Termina...

They then land in the middle of Termina, where they notice that the moon here has a big angry face. Luna could feel it adding to her more power. She force pushes Pinkie into the tower where she comes to rest at the Happy Mask Salesman's feet. Before Luna can attack further she becomes frozen in the air, Pinkie can't move either.

"Well if it isn't a couple of namby pamby ponies ruining my game.", The Happy Mask Salesman says.

"What is this? Why can't we move?" Luna asks.

"Because I will it to, obviously."

"Oh No! He's a salesman! We're doomed! All salesman are evil!" Pinkie shouts.

"Release us immediately you evil fiend!" Luna demands.

The Happy Mask Salesman laughs and says, "I'm not evil, I'm just incredible pissed off at having a HOLE BLOWN IN MY GODDAMNED WALL!", He begins choking Luna, "I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU! SUFFER! SUFFER YOU SON OF A BITCH SUFFFFEEERRR!" He stops choking, "And let that be a warning to you."

Coughs a bit and says, "You beast! You could of choked me to death!"

"and if you piss me off again, I'll finish the job, and take your pink friend here with you."

"How do you have so much power?"

"Because reality is my bitch, and I keep my pimp hand strong."

"I told you salesman are evil!" Pinkie says.

The TARDIS shows up but he stops it as well. He then opens the door and throws Pinkie and Luna into it.

"Alright, I'm sending you back to your own place and time. Don't come back again because I won't just kill you...I'll rape you..."

"WHAT? OH MY..." Pinkie and Luna both says.

"Mentally..."

"Oh..." Luna says.

"Well I guess that..." Pinkie begins to say.

"And physically!" He adds.

"Why?!" The two mare ask.

"At the same time."

"NOOOOOOOO!"

He snaps his fingers and the TARDIS ends up sitting over the Everfree forest.

Once they find out they are unfrozen, the two tackle eachother again, but luckily Snowflame and Spike are able to pull them apart.

"He's mine!" Pinkie shouts

"No Mine!" Luna shouts back.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"ENOUGH YOU DIVAS, THIS FORCED FARCE HAS GONE ON TOO LONG!" The Warriors shouts.

They all look to the Warrior.

"Look at this limp noodle slice of beef jerky, I mean really look at him!" He points at Obito who just nervously waves.
"I've had Slim Jims thicker than this twig, and you two are seriously going to fight over him?! "

"HEY!" Obiot shouts,

"Well, he is rather decent looking." Pinkie says.

"He...is male." Luna adds.

"You two can do a hell of a lot better! You are only experiencing the unholy high of loneliness and desperation!" The Warrior says.

"But I haven't been laid in a thousand years!" Luna whining.

"And I've never really hung out with a male pony that wasn't already married, or related to me or the girls." Pinkie says.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! When you're hungry you think all food looks good, but you can't settle for substitution beef, you have to wait for the premium stuff that costs extra, the stuff that doesn't come with coupons! Only then will you be satisfied."

"Wow, deep bro." Snowflame says.

"Ya...for you that is." Spike adds.

"I have my moments! *Skronk*" The Warrior says.

"I guess he's right...I'm sorry Princess Luna."

"As am I...but still...a thousand years..." Luna says.

"Wait I have an idea!" Pinkie shouts, before whispering into Luna's ear, which not long after she smiles then nods in agreement.

"So it's a deal then." Pinkie says.

"Ummm... What deal?" Obito asks.

"We won't fight over you..." Luna begains to say.

"We're going to share you." Pinkie adds.

"I get you Monday to Wednesday..."

"And I get you Thursday to Saturday..."

"And we'll alternate on Sundays.", They then say at the same time.

"Do I get a say in this?" Obito ask.

"No." They both say, grabbing him by the forelegs and taking him into another room.

The remaining three just stare at what just happened.

"I don't think they listened to me." The Warrior says.

"Well let's just leave them alone for now." Spike says.

"Indeed, now help Snowflame figure out how to fly this thing." Snowflame says.

Zant's Domain(16)

In the Loony Bin...

Blueblood and Zant are still standing in the same room when some music starts playing. (Red=Zant Blue=Blueblood)

Come with me to a world of pure imagination
Go to hell Willy Wonka; this is my destination
It's a land of severe psychological pain
Welcome, friends, to the realm known as Zant's Domain!

Padded walls stare at me with menacing grins
I throw my trash away in the loony bin
I was hatched from an egg in a cuckoo's nest
They call me 2 questions short of a sanity test
I take a leisurely stroll down insanity lane
And hop aboard for a ride on the crazy train
Roller coaster curves pave the tracks' progression
They go up and down like my manic-depression
Ponies in white tackle me to put a stop to my racket
I pick a pair of dress pants to match my straitjacket
I skip merrily through the dementia hills
Where all the rain drops are made out of tranquilizer pills
Dance solo Fluffy!!!...........Celestia, you are so talented!

There's no one there.

Shut up! He's real!

Okay!

I start my mornings with Folgers and electroshock
I have painful memories that I would like to block
I pack my nutcase full of office supplies
And go to meetings with squirrels that have the bodies of files
I get off from my job about a quarter to three
I get coffee with myself all twenty-seven of me
Doctors try to diagnose but they don't know jack
I keep my gardening tools in the wacky shack
I go off the deep end at the local pool
I once ate a rabbit 'cause I though it was a mule
When I come up with my plans, I leave logic behind
You better bring a search party 'cause I've lost my mind

They call me Rap Master Z!...Z as in...cantaloupe! Big purple meaty cantaloupes.....I love them and their delicious chocolate flavor......Isn't squash just fantastic?!

Come with me to a world of pure imagination
Go to hell Willy Wonka; this is my destination
It's a land of severe psychological pain
Welcome, friends, to the realm known as Zant's Domain!

And Now A Holiday Message From SNOWFLAME!

Snowflame sits in a recliner by a fireplace, there's a Christmas tree nearby and a glass of egg nog in his hand. Snowflame looks at the readers and smiles.

"Well it is that time of year. Time for family, presents and egg nog." Snowflame says right before he chugs his glass of egg nog and then smashes said glass on the floor.

"So Snowflame wishes you a happy holiday, no matter what you celebrate or how you celebrate it. Oh and before Snowfame goes, Snowflame must let you know that due to the holidays out author here KenSES64, won't be giving you a new chapter today and possibly Thursday, but don't worry new chapters will come soon and there'll be plenty in the new year (hopefully), along with other works from Ken that you should check out. And Snowflame is most diffidently saying this on his own and Ken isn't just being a self-promoting attention whore. Anyways Happy Holidays!"