My Little Brony: Mateship is Magic

by Rainy Meadows

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 41085

I got bored. This is basically just a Rule 63 version script of the first two episodes. If you want to suggest other episodes then feel free to do so in the comments, although they have to be non-gender specific. The cover image is not by me - it is part of a series by the 100% awesome Trotsworth, as are the rest of the cover images.

Just so everypony knows, I won't be focusing on this fic, but will instead work on my other one, The Foals of Harmony. If boredom or writer's block overtakes me then I shall add another episode.

Published 2012-02-22 12:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-31 09:35:16 UTC

Episode One: Stallion in the Moon

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Rule 63 Edition

EPISODE ONE: STALLION IN THE MOON

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters:

Glint: A pony who invites Dusk Shine to a hoofball game.

Colgate: Glint’s friend.

Applebuck: Applejack’s younger brother.

Grampy Smith: Patriarch of the Apple family.

Mayor of Ponyville: ‘Nuff said.

Nightterror Nebula: The corrupted form of one of the Royal Brothers – an evil overlord who wants to bring about eternal night.

Voice over: (narrating depicted images) Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal brothers who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used his unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn: the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two brothers maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects; all the different types of ponies.
But as time went on, the younger brother became resentful. The ponies relished and played in the day his elder brother brought forth, but shunned and slept through his beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger brother refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder brother tried to reason with him, but the bitterness in the young one’s heart had transformed him into a wicked stallion of darkness: Nightterror Nebula. He vowed that he would shroud the land in eternal night.
Reluctantly, the elder brother harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, he defeated his younger brother, and banished him permanently in the moon. The elder brother took on responsibility for both sun and moon...

Dusk Shine: (taking over from voice over) ...and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since.

Reveal Dusk Shine reading a book

Dusk: Hmm, (touches book) Elements of Harmony. Now I know I’ve heard of those someplace before, but... where?

(theme song)

Shows Dusk walking down road; he is stopped by 3 young stallions

Glint: Found you, Dusk! We’re off to the hoofball game - gonna see the Canterlot Parasprites kick some flank! You in?

Dusk: (nervously glances at his saddlebag) Uh, sorry guys. I got a lot of studying to catch up on. (grins nervously before bolting)

Glint: *sigh* Does that dude do anything except STUDY?

Colgate: What do you wanna bet he likes books more than friends?

Glint: What do you wanna bet he likes books more than mares?

Both: (laugh)

Dusk: (running) I know I’ve heard of the Elements of Harmony.

Dusk passes several ponies on his way back to the library. Upon reaching it, he throws the door open and knocks down Spines, who was on her way out, carrying a box wrapped in ribbon.

Dusk: Spines? Spiiiines! (Sees her) Spines? There you are!

Spines sits up and rubs her head while Dusk runs to the upper level of the library.

Dusk: Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies. (sees the present impaled on Spine’s tail) What’s that for?

Spines: (pulling the box off her tail) Well, it was a gift for the hoofball team, but-

Dusk: Oh, Spines, you know we don’t have time for that sort of thing.

Spines: But we’re on a break!

Dusk ignores her, and starts pulling books off shelves with his magic. He checks each one with an increasingly frustrated “no!”

Dusk: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Ugh, Spines!

Spines, standing atop a ladder, has the correct book.

Spines: It’s over here!

Dusk pulls the book down, and Spines along with it – she slams face first into the ground.

Dusk: Ah!

He walks over to a lectern and begins skimming the book while Spines packs away the ones he pulled out earlier.

Dusk: Elements, Elements, E, E, E... Aha! (stops skimming) Elements of Harmony. See Stallion in the Moon?

Spines: Stallion in the Moon? But that’s just an old pony’s tale.

Dusk: Stallion, Stallion, AHA! Stallion in the Moon – myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars shall aid in his escape, and he shall bring about night time eternal! *Gasp* Spines, do you know what this means?

Spines: No. Ah!

She falls off the ladder she was standing on and lands on Dusk’s back.

Dusk: Take a note please. To Lord Solaris.

Spines: (slides down his tail) Okie dokie!

Dusk: (dictating to Spines) Dear Lord Solaris, my continuing studies of pony magic have led me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster!

Spines: Hold on. (stops writing) Preci... preci...

Dusk: Threshold.

Spines: Thre... (looks at Dusk questioningly)

Dusk: Um, brink?

Spines stares at him blankly. Dusk is clearly not amused.

Dusk: Ugh, that something really bad is about to happen!

Spines resumes writing.

Dusk: For you see, the mythical Stallion in the Moon is in fact Nightterror Nebula, (whose reflection appears in the top bulb of an hourglass as Dusk passes it) and he is about to return to Equestria to bring about eternal night! Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does NOT come true. I await your quick response. Your loyal student, Dusk Shine.

Spines: Dusk... Shine! Got it.

Dusk: Great! Send it.

Spines: What, right now?

Dusk: No, a week from Saturday. Of course right now!

Spines: Well, I dunno, Dusk. Lord Solaris is probably really busy getting ready for the Summer Sun Celebration. And it’s like, the day after tomorrow.

Dusk: That’s just IT, Spines. The day after tomorrow is the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration. It’s imperative that Lord Solaris is told right away!

Spines: (picks up her quill again) Impera... impera...

Dusk: IMPORTANT! (Spines falls over due to his vocal volume)

Spines: Okay, okay!

She blows green fire onto the rolled up letter; it diffuses into a wisp of smoke which flies out the window.

Spines: There, it’s on its way, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Dusk: (smugly) Oh I’m not worried, Spines. Lord Solaris trusts me completely. I mean, name 3 times in all the time that he’s been my mentor that he’s ever doubted me. Go on.

Spines seems about to answer, but belches instead, and the resulting smoke materialises into a second rolled up letter.

Dusk: What’d I say?

Spines: *clears her throat* My dearest and most loyal pupil Dusk Shine: You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely.

Dusk nods smugly.

Spines: But you simply must stop it with those dusty old books!

Dusk gasps in horror: for him this is like being told not to breathe.

(commercial)

Dusk and Spines are sitting in a chariot being pulled by a pair of armoured pegasi. They are flying above clouds while Dusk leans dejectedly over the side and Spines continues reading the letter from Lord Solaris.

Spines: My dear Dusk Shine, there is more to a young pony’s life than studying, which is why I’m sending you so oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year’s location: Ponyville.

Ponyville comes into view between the clouds. It is a quaint looking, English countryside-style village complete with thatched roofs and dirt roads.

Spines: And I have an even more essential task for you to complete – make some friends!

Dusk makes a noise somewhere between a “Grrrr” and an “Awww”.

Spines: Look on the bright side, Dusk. Lord Solaris set you up in a library. Doesn’t that cheer you up?

Dusk: (clearly has a “Eureka!” moment) Yes! Yes it does. You know why? Because I’m right! I’ll check on the preparations as quickly as I can, then get to the library and turn up more evidence of Nightterror Nebula’s return!

Spines: But then, when will you make friends like Lord Solaris says?

Dusk: He said to check on the preparations. I’m his student and I’ll do my royal duty, but let me tell you something Spines: The future of Equestria does not rest on me making friends.

The chariot touches down in Ponyville.

Dusk: (to the pegasi pulling it) Thank you, sirs.

The pegasi snort proudly.

Spines: Well, maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about!

They are approached by Bubble Berry, who stops as if to talk to them.

Spines: C’mon, Dusk, give it a shot!

Dusk: (nervously to Bubble Berry) Uh... hello?

Bubble Berry: (leaps into the air) *GAAAAAASP!*

He literally zooms away.

Dusk: (sarcastically) Well, that was interesting alright.

Spines just groans.

Some time later, she and Dusk are walking down a road with an apple orchard on each side. Spines is carrying a checklist.

Spines: Summer Sun Celebration official overseer’s checklist No. 1: Banquet Preparations. Sweet Apple Acres!

Dusk and Spines walk through a gateway leading to the main area of the farm.

Applejack: (out of shot) YEE-HAW!

He gallops towards an apple tree and bucks it, sending a shower of apples into some waiting baskets. He then crosses his legs and smiles smugly.

Dusk: Let’s just get this over with. (Approaches AJ) Good afternoon. My name is Dusk Shine-

He is cut off by AJ shaking his hoof. Hard.

AJ: Well, howdy-do, Mr Dusk Shine, a pleasure makin’ yer acquaintance! Ah’m Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin’ new friends!

Dusk: (still being shaken) Friends? Actually-y-y-y, I-I-I er-

AJ stops shaking his hoof.

AJ: So, what kin Ah do yer for? (winks)

Dusk’s hoof continues shaking until Spines holds it still and he regains control of it: she then giggles at his expense. Dusk tries to regain his composure.

Dusk: Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And you’re in charge of the food?

AJ: We sure-as-sugar are! Would ya care to sample some?

Dusk: Well, as long as it doesn’t take too long...

AJ enthusiastically rings a triangle.

AJ: SOUP’S ON, EVERYPONY!

Dusk and Spines are flattened by a massive stampede of Apple ponies before being set at a table, eyes rolling.

AJ: Now, why don’t Ah introduce y’all to the Apple family?

Dusk: Thanks, but I really need to hurry-

He and Spines are then bombarded with an influx of ponies, each placing a foodstuff matching their namesake on the table. Eventually the table piles so high nothing else can fit on it and the names are declared faster and faster each time, AJ clearly running out of breath.

AJ: This here’s Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apple, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp, *deep breath* Macareina, Applebuck aaaaand (slams an apple into Dusk’s mouth) Grampy Smith!

Grampy Smith is asleep, undisturbed, in his rocking chair.

AJ: Up and at’em, Grampy Smith, we got guests!

Grampy Smith: (wakes up and starts walking creakily over to the table) Wha? Soup’s on, lemme come, here Ah come, Ah comin’...

AJ: Heh, well, I’d say they’re already part of the family!

Dusk spits out the remainder of the apple that Applejack shoved in his mouth. He then laughs nervously.

Dusk: Okay, well, I can see the food situation is handled! So we’ll be on our way.

Applebuck: Arencha gonna stay fer brunch? (gives Dusk puppy-dog eyes)

Dusk: Um... Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do.

Entire Apple Family: Awww...

Dusk looks at their disappointed faces and feels guilty.

Dusk: Fine.

Entire Apple Family: Yay!

Some time later, Dusk and Spines are in another part of Ponyville. Spines is holding the checklist as she walks: Dusk is following some distance behind.

Spines: Food’s all taken care of, next is weather.

Dusk’s stomach is bulging from indigestion and he is walking slowly.

Dusk: *groans* I ate too much pie.

Spines: (examines the sky) Hmm, there’s supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Blitz clearing the clouds.

Dusk looks up at the clouds in the sky.

Dusk: Well, he’s not doing a very good job, is he?

Suddenly he is knocked into a mud puddle by a blur of colour. He lies there, covered in mud, with Rainbow Blitz lying on top of him. The latter gets up and starts laughing.

Rainbow Blitz: (laughing nervously) Uh, ‘scuse me? (Takes to the air) Heh he, let me help you!

He flies away and grabs a rain cloud, which he positions over Dusk’s head and then jumps on it, showing the purple pony with rain. It washes the mud off, but leaves him saturated. Blitz just laughs more.

Blitz: Oops, I guess I overdid it. Uh, heh heh, how ‘bout this? (Starts flying round and round Dusk, creating a rainbow tornado) My very own, patented Rainblow Dry! (lands) No, no, don’t thank me, you’re quite welcome!

He sees Dusk, whose mane and tail have been whipped up into frizzy afros by the Rainblow Dry. Blitz tries to contain himself, but bursts out into roaring laughter. Spines soon joins in, falling on top of the hapless pegasus, and Dusk eyes the two angrily.

Dusk: Let me guess; you’re Rainbow Blitz.

Blitz: (springs to his feet, sending Spines flying) The one and only! (takes to the air again) Why, you heard of me?

Dusk: I heard you’re supposed to be keeping the sky clear! *Sigh* I’m Dusk Shine and Lord Solaris sent me to check on the weather.

Blitz: (lying lazily on a cloud) Yeah, yeah, that’ll be a snap. I’ll do that in a jiff, just as soon as I’m done practising.

Dusk: Practising for what?

Blitz: The Wonderbolts! (points at a poster) They’re gonna perform at the Celebration tomorrow and I’m gonna show ‘em my skills!

Dusk: The Wonderbolts?

Blitz: Yup.

Dusk: The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?

Blitz: That’s them!

Dusk: Pfft. Please! They’d never accept a pegasus who can’t even keep the sky clear for one measly day.

Blitz: Hey, I can clear this sky in ten seconds flat!

Dusk: Prove it.

He does. Rainbow Blitz zooms around the sky, taking out all the visible clouds by smashing them to smithereens. When he is done, he lands on a bridge.

Blitz: What’d I say? Ten. Seconds. Flat. I’d never leave Ponyville hangin’!

Dusk and Spines stare, gaping, at the now empty sky.

Blitz: Ha! You should see the looks on your faces! Priceless! You’re a riot, Dusk Shine. I can’t wait to hang out some more!

He flies away.

Spines: Wow. He’s amazing!

She starts playfully batting Dusk’s puffy mane and giggling. He starts to walk away.

Spines: Wait, it’s kinda cute once you get used to it!

Dusk: Let’s just keep going.

Later: Dusk and Spines are inside the town hall. It is bedecked with banners, streamers and other kinds of not-too-elaborate decor.

Spines: Decorations! Incredible...

Dusk: Yes, the decor is coming along nicely. This ought to be quick: I’ll be at the library in no time. (Looks up at the decor) Incredible indeed!

Spines: Not the decor... him!

She points past Dusk at Elusive, who is examining and dismissing several ribbons.

Elusive: No, no, no, oh goodness no!

Spines is obviously smitten.

Spines: How’re my scales? They clean?

Dusk: (laughs, approaches Elusive) Good afternoon.

Elusive: Just a moment please! I’m in the zone, as ‘twere. (He selects a ribbon and ties it around a pillar) Oh yes! Shine always does the trick, does it not? Why Elusive, you are a talent! Now, how may I help you-AHAHAHA!! (He has seen Dusk’s hair) Oh, good heavens sir! Whatever happened to your coiffure?

Dusk: Oh, you mean my mane? Well, it’s a long story. I’m just here to check on the decorations, and then I’ll be out of your hair.

Elusive: Out of my hair? What about your hair?

Starts to push Dusk away. Spines follows, helplessly smitten.

Dusk: Wait, where are we going? Spines, help!

Elusive ignores him and takes him to his shop: the Carousel Boutique, where he forces Dusk into several clothing combinations before finally settling for one.

Elusive: No, no, uh-uh, too green, too yellow, too poufy, don’t like it, UGH, disgusting, NO! Ah yes, that is the one. Now my good man, you were telling me where you’re from?

Dusk: (Elusive starts pulling on the tie, and Dusk is choking) I’ve... been... sent... from... Canterlot... to-

Elusive: (releasing Dusk) CANTERLOT? Oh, I am so envious! The class, the sophistication! I have always dreamed of living there! I can’t wait to hear all about it. We are going to be the best of friends, you and I! (Sees what Dusk is wearing) Emeralds?! What was I thinking? Let me get you some rubies. (leaves)

Dusk: Quick! Before he decides to dye my coat a new colour!

He runs away.

Some time later, Spines is sitting dreamily on his back.

Spines: Wasn’t he wonderful, Dusk?

Dusk: Focus, Juliet. What’s next on the list?

Spines: Oh! Music. It’s the last one.

They hear the sounds of coordinated bird song. Hiding in a bush, they watch Butterscotch conducting a choir of birds. However, one of them is out of rhythm and sounds awful.

Butterscotch: Oh my. Um, stop please everyone. (To the guilty bird) Excuse me, miss? I mean, no offence, but your rhythm is just a teeny tiny bit off. (To the choir) Now, follow me please. A one, a two, a one two three-

Dusk: Hello!

Butterscotch: AH!

The birds fly away in fright.

Dusk: Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten your birds. I’m just here to check up on the music and it’s sounding beautiful.

Butterscotch lands and starts scuffing the ground nervously. The situation is very awkward, because both he and Dusk are waiting for the other to speak.

Dusk: Um... My name is Dusk Shine. (Awkward pause) What’s your name?

Butterscotch: (unbelievably quiet) Um... I’m Butterscotch.

Dusk: I’m sorry, what was that?

Butterscotch: (barely audible) Um... my name is, um, Butterscotch.

Dusk: Didn’t quite catch that.

Butterscotch: *Squeaks fearfully*

Another awkward pause, during which the birds return.

Dusk: Well, um, it looks like your birds are back. So I guess everything’s in order. Keep up the good work.

Butterscotch: *Squeaks fearfully again*

Dusk: Okay... (To Spines) Well, that was easy.

Butterscotch: *gasp* A baby dragon! (Knocks Dusk out of the way) I’ve never seen a baby dragon before! She’s so cute!

Spines: Ha! I like this guy!

Butterscotch: Oh my, she talks! I didn’t know dragons could talk. That’s just so incredibly wonderful, I-I just don’t know what to say!

Dusk places Spines upon his back.

Dusk: Well, in that case, we’d better be going.

Butterscotch: Wait, what’s her name?

Spines: I’m Spines!

Butterscotch: Hi Spines, I’m Butterscotch. Wow, a talking dragon! And what do dragons talk about?

Spines: Well, what would you like to know?

Butterscotch: Absolutely everything!

Dusk: *Groans in frustration*

Spines: Well, I started out as a cute little purple and green egg...

Some time later; the group have reached the library.

Spines: ...and that’s the story of my whole entire life! Well, apart from today. Hey, you wanna hear about today?

Butterscotch: Oh, yes please!

Dusk: (turns around quickly) I’m sorry, how did we get here so fast? This is where I’ll be staying while I’m in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs her sleep.

Spines: No I don’t. (Gets tipped of Dusk’s back) Whoa!

Dusk: Oh, wook at dat. She’s so sweepy she can’t even keep her wittle bawance! (Grins nervously/hopefully)

Butterscotch: (picks up Spines) Poor thing, you simply must get into bed.

Dusk: Yes, yes, we’ll get right on that, well goodnight!

He takes Spines and slams the library door in Butterscotch’s face. It’s dark inside – almost pitch black.

Spines: Huh, rude much?

Dusk: Sorry Spines, but I have to convince Lord Solaris that Nightterror Nebula is coming and we’re running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can concentrate without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time. Now where’s the light?

The lights come on; Dusk and Spines are surrounded by happy ponies, and there are balloons and streamers everywhere.

Crowd: SURPRISE!

Dusk: (quietly) Grrrr...

(commercial)

Bubble Berry: SUPRISE! Hi, my name’s Bubble Berry and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh, huh, huh?

Dusk: Very surprised! Especially since libraries are supposed to be quiet-

Berry: Hah, well that’s silly! What kind of welcome party would it be if it were quiet? I mean duh, BOR-RING! You see, I saw you when you first got here remember? You were all “Hello!” and I was all *gasp* remember? You see, I’d never saw you before and if I’ve never saw you before that means you’re new ‘coz I know everypony (Dusk groans and starts to pour himself a drink) and I mean everypony in Ponyville! And if you’re new it meant you haven’t met anyone yet and if you haven’t met anyone yet then you must not have any friends and if you don’t have any friends then you must be lonely and that made me so sad and I had an idea and that’s why I went *gasp!* (Dusk starts to drink through a straw) I’ll just throw a great big super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! (AJ, Blitz, Elusive and Butterscotch appear behind him) See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!

Dusk’s cheeks bulge and smoke begins to come out of his ears.

AJ: You alright, haystack?

He isn’t alright: Dusk’s mane and tail ignite and he dashes upstairs.

Berry: Aw, he’s so happy he’s crying!

Spines examines the bottle Dusk had poured from.

Spines: Hot sauce? Ew.

With her still holding it, Berry pours the bottle over a cupcake and then eats it, much to the surprise/disgust of the other ponies.

Berry: (mouth full) What? Thiff if good!

Some time later (again): Dusk is lying in bed with his head under a pillow, while loud music wafts up from downstairs. He looks at the clock, which shows the time to be somewhere around four in the morning, and groans. Spines then enters with a lampshade on her head.

Spines: Oi, Dusk! Bubble Berry’s starting Pin The Tail On The Pony, wanna play?

Dusk: No! All the ponies in this town are CRAZY! Do you know what time it is?

Spines: It’s the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration. Everypony has to stay up, else they’ll miss Lord Solaris raising the sun. You really should lighten up, Dusk. It’s a party! (leaves)

Dusk: (whiny) You really should lighten up Dusk it’s a party! (Normal voice) Ugh, here I thought I’d have time to look up the Elements of Harmony, but crazy me! All this ridiculous friend-making has kept me from it! (Looks out the window, clearly worried) Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in his escape, and he shall bring about night time eternal. (Moon in his eyes) I hope Lord Solaris was right. I hope it really is just an old pony tale-

Spines: (re-enters) C’mon, Dusk! It’s time to watch the sunrise!

Ponyville town hall: the entire population of the town has gathered in front of a stage. Dusk has Spines on his back and looks pensive: Bubble Berry pops up beside him (literally).

Berry: Isn’t this exciting? Are you excited? ‘Coz I’m excited! I’ve never been more excited! Well, except for the time when I saw you walking in this town and I went *gasp* but I mean really, who could top that?

He falls quiet as a fanfare sounds and the choir of birds sings (conducted by Butterscotch) and the mayor comes onto the stage.

Mayor of Ponyville: Fillies and gentlecolts! It is my great honour to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!

Everypony: (cheers)

Mayor: In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, without further ado, it is my great pleasure to introduce the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...

Butterscotch: (to choir) Ready?

Mayor: Lord Solaris!

The curtains draw back from a balcony above the stage where Elusive is standing proudly, but there is nopony there.

Elusive: Huh?

Dusk: This. Can’t. Be good.

Mayor: Remain calm, everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation.

Berry: Ooh, I love guessing games! Is he hiding? (looks out of the reader's computer screen)

Elusive: He’s gone!

Everypony: *Gasp of horror*

Berry: Ooh, he’s good! EEK!

A trail of purple smoke seeps onto the balcony and begins to swirl around.

Dusk: Oh no. Nightterror Nebula!

Nightterror Nebula appears where Lord Solaris should be, and glares down triumphantly at the crowd. Spines faints and falls off Dusk’s back.

Nightterror Nebula: Oh, my beloved subjects! It’s been so long, since I’ve seen your precious little sun-loving faces.

Blitz: What did you do with Lord Solaris? (Tries to charge NN; AJ grabs his tail)

AJ: Whoa there, Nelly!

NN: (laughs) Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am!

Berry: Oh, more guessing games! Er, Hokey Smokes! How about King Meanie? No, Black Snooty, Black Snooty! (AJ shoves a cupcake in his mouth, and Berry continues to say “Black Snooty” albeit muffled)

NN: (to Butterscotch) Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? (To Elusive) Do you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs-

Dusk: I did, and I know who you are! You’re the Stallion in the Moon: Nightterror Nebula!

Everypony: *Gasp of horror*

NN: Well, well, well, somepony who remembers me. Then you must also know why I’m here!

Dusk: You’re here to... to... *gulp*

NN: (laughs) Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night. Will last. FOREVER!

He launches into an extremely evil sounding laugh, and Dusk Shine looks on, visibly worried to the core.

To Be Continued...

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony or the rules of the internet.

Episode Two: The Elements of Harmony

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Rule 63 Edition

EPISODE TWO: THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters:

Sea serpent: ‘Nuff said.

The Shadowbolts: A group of flyers which try to seduce Rainbow Blitz.

Lord Solaris: Ruler of Equestria

Nightterror Nebula/Prince Artemis: Lord Solaris’ younger brother, corrupted into an evil overlord who wants to bring about eternal night.

Previously on My Little Brony...

Dusk: Elements, Elements, E, E, E... Aha! (stops skimming) Elements of Harmony. See Stallion in the Moon?

Spines: But that’s just an old pony’s tale.

Dusk: Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars shall aid in his escape, and he shall bring about night time eternal!

Dusk: It’s imperative that Lord Solaris is told right away!

Dusk: What’d I say?

Spines: My dear Dusk Shine, there is more to a young pony’s life than studying.

Spines: Make some friends!

Bubble Berry: (leaps into the air) *GAAAAAASP!*

Dusk: All the ponies in this town are CRAZY!

Elusive: He’s gone!

Dusk: Oh no. Nightterror Nebula!

Nightterror Nebula: (laughs)

(theme song)

Nightterror Nebula: (laughs)

Mayor: Seize him! Only he knows where Lord Solaris is!

A group of royal guards takes off and tries to attack NN.

NN: Stay back you foals! (zaps them away with lightning and laughs)

Everypony panics and runs around screaming. Applejack loses his grip on Rainbow Blitz’s tail, and he flies outside after the wisp of purple smoke that NN has become.

Rainbow Blitz: Get back here! (stops flying and hovers in midair) Night time? Forever? (sees Dusk Shine running back to the library with Spines on his back) And where are YOU off to?

In the library, Dusk is putting Spines in her bed.

Spines: (tired) We-we’ve gotta stop Nightterror... (falls asleep: Dusk drapes a blanket over her)

Dusk Shine: You’ve been up all night, Spines. You are a baby dragon after all.

He turns the light off and goes downstairs, and begins desperately searching through books.

Dusk: Elements, Elements, Elements... How am I supposed to stop Nightterror Nebula without the Elements of Harmony?

Blitz: (flies right into Dusk’s face) And just what ARE the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightterror Nebula, huh? Are you a SPY? Whoa!

He is pulled back by AJ, and they are joined by Bubble Berry, Butterscotch and Elusive.

Applejack: Simmer down, Sally. He ain’t no spy... but he sure knows what’s goin’ on. Don’t ‘cha, Dusk Shine?

Dusk: *sigh* I read all about the return of Nightterror Nebula. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop him. But I don’t know what they are, or where to find them. I don’t even know what they do!

Bubble Berry: (looking at a bookshelf) The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.

Dusk knocks him out of the way.

Dusk: How did you find that?

Berry: (singsong) It was under E!

Dusk: (quietly) Oh.

He pulls out the book and starts to read aloud.

Dusk: There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said that the last known location of the Elements of Harmony was in the ancient castle of the Royal Pony Brothers.

A wisp of purple smoke flies, unseen, away from the window.

Dusk: It is located in what is now...

Everypony: The Everfree Forest?!

The six colts are standing outside the Everfree Forest.

Berry: Whee! Let’s go!

Dusk: Hold up! Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’d really rather do this on my own.

AJ: No can do, haystack. We sure ain’t lettin’ any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. (Begins walking into the forest) We’re stickin’ to you like caramel on a candy apple.

Blitz/Butterscotch/Elusive: (following AJ) Mm-hm.

Berry: Especially if there’s candy apples in there! (sees Dusk staring at him) What? Those things are good!

He walks into the forest; Dusk follows him.

Some time later; they are being followed by a cloud of purple smoke.

Dusk: So... none of you have ever been in here before?

Elusive: Oh, heavens no. I mean, just look at it: it’s dreadful!

The purple smoke seeps into a cliff side, which the colts are soon standing upon.

AJ: And it ain’t natural. Folks say it don’t work the same way as Equestria.

Dusk: What’s that supposed to mean?

Blitz: (spooky voice) Nopony knows! You know why?

AJ: Blitz, quit it!

Blitz: (crawling towards Elusive, Berry and Butterscotch, who appear frightened) ‘Coz everypony who’s ever come in has never... come... OUT!

The cliff cracks away and AJ, Elusive, Berry and Dusk fall down with it: Blitz and Butterscotch take to the air.

Blitz: Butterscotch, think fast! (flies down)

Butterscotch: Ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmygoodness! (Follows Blitz)

Blitz catches Berry, and Butterscotch grabs Elusive’s tail. AJ catches a root with his teeth, but Dusk keeps falling until he is hanging over another cliff by his forehooves. He screams.

AJ: (slides down the cliff) Hold on, Ah’m comin’! (He holds Dusk’s hooves and stops him falling, but it is clear he can’t hold on forever)

Dusk: Applejack, what do I do?

AJ glances up.

AJ: Let go.

Dusk: What are you NUTS?!

AJ: No Ah ain’t. Ah promise you’ll be safe.

Dusk: That’s a load of horseapples!

AJ: Now see here. What Ah’m sayin’ ta you is the honest truth: let go and you’ll be safe.

Dusk gulps and lets go of the cliff. He screams as he falls, but is soon caught by Blitz and Butterscotch. He is almost dropped as Butterscotch slips.

Butterscotch: Sorry guys. I’m not used to carrying anything more than a bunny or two.

Dusk watches thoughtfully as AJ hops down the cliff like a mountain goat. Meanwhile, the purple smoke flies away and finds a creature, which roars angrily.

Some time later: five of the six are walking while another flies excitedly around overhead.

Blitz: And once Elusive and Berry were safe, whoosh! Me and Butterscotch loop-de-looped around and WHAM! (lands next to Dusk) Caught you right in the nick of time.

Dusk: Yes Blitz, I was there, and I’m very grateful, but we gotta-

He is cut off when a monster stamps in front of him.

Dusk: A manticore!

The manticore roars.

Dusk: We’ve gotta get past it.

Butterscotch: (quietly) Wait.

Elusive gallops over to the beast and kicks it square in the jaw.

Elusive: Take that you ruffian! (the manticore roars in his face) My hair! Eek! (runs away)

Butterscotch: (still quietly) Wait.

The manticore makes to attack again, but looks up and finds AJ standing on his back.

AJ: Yee-haw! Get along, little doggy! WHOA! (the manticore throws him off) All yours, partner.

Blitz: I’m on it! (zooms towards the manticore)

Butterscotch: (just above a whisper) Wait!

Blitz flies around and around the manticore, creating a multicolour tornado similar to the Rainblow Dry. The creature simply swats him away with its tail.

Dusk: Blitz!

The named pegasus lands in the dirt in front of him, before getting up and joining his friends. They paw at the ground and snort fiercely, and begin to charge the manticore.

Butterscotch: (leaping in front of his friends) WAAAAAIT!

The others draw to a halt. Butterscotch smiles and turns to the manticore, which growls as he approaches.

Butterscotch: Shhh, it’s okay.

He nuzzles the manticore’s paw, and it shows him the purple thorn embedded in it.

Butterscotch: Oh you poor, poor little baby.

Blitz: Little?!

Butterscotch: Now this might hurt for just a second...

He pulls out the thorn, and the manticore roars in his face.

Everypony else: Butterscotch!

The manticore gives Butterscotch’s face a thorough licking. He laughs to himself.

Butterscotch: Oh, you’re just a li’l old baby kitty, aren’t you? Yes you are. Yes you are!

The others walk past him, but Dusk pauses.

Dusk: How the hay did you know about the thorn?

Butterscotch: (hair sculpted by the licking) I didn’t. Sometimes we all need to be shown a little kindness.

As Dusk smiles, the thorn disintegrates into a cloud of purple smoke which flies away.

Some time later: the colts (minus Berry) are walking through a particularly mucky area of forest.

Elusive: Ugh, my eyes need a rest from all this disgusting mud!

The moon disappears behind the trees.

Elusive: I didn’t mean that literally.

Dusk: That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn’t even notice it!

The colts begin to argue, not noticing the purple smoke seeping itself into the trees, until:

AJ: Oh wait, I think I stepped in something. (His hooves are covered in mud)

Butterscotch: *screams*

AJ: It’s just mud! (Sees a tree behind him that has a terrifying face) Whoa!

The colts all scream as they are surrounded by faces contorted into the trees.

(commercial)

The colts are still screaming, except for one:

Berry: Hahahahahaha!

Others: Huh?

Berry: *makes faces at the trees* Bleh! Oooh? Bloolooloolooloo! Hahahahahaha!

Dusk: Berry, what’re you doing? Leg it!

Berry: You guys, don’t you see? (singing) When I was itty bitty and the sun was going doooooown...

Dusk: Tell me he’s not-

Berry: (singing) The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frooooooown...

Elusive: He is.

Berry: (singing, bouncing around) I’d hide under my pillow from what I thought I saw, but Grandpa said that wasn’t the way to deal with fears at all...

Blitz: Then what is?

Berry: (pops up next to him, still singing) He said ‘Bubble, you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears, you’ll see that they can’t hurt you: just laugh and make them disappear’ (at a tree) Ha! Ha! Ha!

The face disappears: the others gasp. Berry then shoves them all in front of trees and they laugh the faces away to the tune of-

Berry: Sooooo, giggle at the ghostly! Guffaw at the grossly! Crack up at the creepy! Whoop it up with the weepy! Chortle at the kooky! Snigger at the spooky! And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he’s scary then he’s got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes me wanna hahahaha! Heh... LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

By the end the colts are all rolling around on the ground, laughing like there’s no tomorrow, and the scary faces are all gone.

Some time later: The colts are all bouncing through the forest laughing, Bubble Berry style, but stop and all crash into Dusk Shine when he stops in front of a raging river.

Dusk: How are we gonna cross this?!

They hear the serpent. She is bawling her eyes out and thrashing around in the river, turning it into a rush of rapids.

Serpent: Oh hohohohoho! Oh hoho! What a world! What a world!

Dusk: Excuse me miss, but why are you crying?

Serpent: Well, I don’t know! I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this gaudy little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore one of my beloved pigtails (points at the torn hair) clean off! And now I look absolutely appalling!

She splashes the river and douses the colts in water, drenching them from head to hoof.

Blitz: Ugh, gimme a break.

AJ: That’s what all the fuss is about?

Elusive: But of course! How could you be so tactless? (starts stroking the serpent) Awww, just look at her. Such lovely luminescent scales!

Serpent: *sniff* I know!

Elusive: Your expertly curled eyelashes.

Serpent: (proudly) Oh I know, I know!

Elusive: And your fabulous manicure!

Serpent: *gasp* It’s so true!

Elusive: All ruined without your beautiful pigtail.

Serpent: It’s true, I’m HIDEOUS!

Elusive: I simply can NOT let such a crime against style go uncorrected! (He pulls off one of the serpent’s scales)

Serpent: OW! What did you do that for?

Dusk: Elusive, what’re you-

SWISH.

Serpent: Oh! (faints)

A pan out reveals that Elusive has cut off his own tail. He picks it up and attaches it to the severed end of the serpent’s pigtail. Naturally, she is overjoyed!

Serpent: Ohohoho! My pigtail!

Elusive: You look sensational!

Dusk: Elusive, your tail-

Elusive: Aw, it’s okay. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it’ll grow back.

Dusk smiles.

Blitz: So would the pigtail.

Dusk: (starts to cross the now calm river) We can cross now! Let’s go- AH!

The coil of a serpent’s body comes up underneath him.

Serpent: Allow me, good sirs.

The colts hop across the coils of her body like stepping stones.

Some time later: Dusk stops walking when he sees the ruins on the other side of a mist-filled chasm.

Dusk: There it is! The ruin that holds the Elements of Harmony. We’ve made it! (starts running)

AJ: (he and the others start running too) Hey Dusk! Wait for us!

Dusk: We’re almost there-WHOA! (He starts teetering dangerously over a fallen bridge – Blitz pulls him back)

Blitz: What’s with you and falling off cliffs today?

Berry: *sigh* Now what?

Blitz: Um... (wiggles his wings and takes off)

Berry: Oh yeah!

Blitz flies down into the mist and grabs the fallen side of the bridge before pulling it up and landing on the other side of the chasm. He quickly secures one side and makes to tie the other.

Shadowbolt: (out of shot) Blitzy.

Blitz: Huh? Who’s there?

Shadowbolt: Blitzy!

Blitz: (rears up on his hinds legs and punches the air) I ain’t scared of you! Show yourself!

Shadowbolt: We’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the greatest flyer in all of Equestria.

Blitz: Who?

Shadowbolt: Why, you of course!

Blitz: Eh? I mean, oh! Of course! Duh! Hey, you wouldn’t mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would you? ‘Coz I’ve been trying to get into that group for, like, EVER.

Shadowbolt: No Blitzy, we want you to join us: The Shadowbolts!

The Shadowbolts – two stallions and a mare, all pegasi – gallop into view. The mare does all the talking. Blitz looks incredulous.

Shadowbolt: We’re the greatest aerial flight team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we’ll be the greatest in all of Equestria, but first we need a captain.

Blitz grins widely.

Shadowbolt: (circling around Blitz) The boldest...

Blitz: Yep.

Shadowbolt: Swiftest...

Blitz: Yep.

Shadowbolt: Bravest flyer in all of Equestria.

Blitz: Yes, heh, it’s all true!

Shadowbolt: We need (whispers in Blitz’s ear) you.

Blitz: WOO-HOO! Sign me up! Just let me this the bridge real quick, and then we have a deal.

He makes to tie the bridge, but is stopped by the Shadowbolts.

Shadowbolt: NO! It’s them or us!

Blitz looks nervous.

Dusk: Hey Blitz, what’s taking so long? (Sees the Shadowbolts) Oh horseapples. BLITZ!

The Shadowbolt’s eyes glow, and fog from the chasm flows up and hides Blitz’s friends.

Dusk: (muffled) Don’t listen to them!

Shadowbolt: Well?

Blitz: You.

The Shadowbolt mare grins triumphantly.

Blitz: Thank you. For the offer I mean. (Secures the bridge) But I’m afraid I’m gonna have to decline.

He flies away across the chasm, and the Shadowbolts disappear in a rush of purple smoke. Blitz’s friends cheer as he lands, striking a superior pose.

Dusk: Good work, Blitz!

Blitz: See? I’d never leave my friends hangin’.

Dusk smiles.

When they have entered the ruin, they fan out and admire the statue holding the Elements of Harmony, which consist of five stone orbs with images of gems carved into them.

AJ: C’mon, Dusk. Ain’t this what you ‘bin waitin’ for?

Dusk: The Elements of Harmony. We’ve found them!

Butterscotch and Blitz take down the orbs and set them in a circle on the floor before Dusk.

Berry: (counting) One, two, three, four... what? There’s only five!

Blitz: Where’s the sixth?

Dusk: The book said that when five are present, a spark will cause the sixth to be revealed.

AJ: What in the hay is that s’posed to mean?

Dusk: (kneels down in front of the orbs) I’m not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back: I’m not sure what’ll happen. (He bows his head and his horn begins to glow)

AJ: C’mon now y’all, he needs to concentrate.

The rest of the colts leave Dusk alone with the orbs. A rush of purple smoke picks up the orbs and starts to spin them around in a whirlwind.

Dusk: *screams*

Everypony else: (outside) Dusk!

Dusk: The Elements!

He jumps into the whirlwind, and it vanishes alone with him, without a trace. Everypony else enters and looks around, confused.

(commercial)

AJ: (everypony else is running around in a panic) Dusk, where’ve you gone?

Elusive: Look!

He points out the window at a different part of the ruin, the windows of which are glowing.

AJ: C’mon, boys!

They gallop out in search of Dusk, who reappears in the same part of the ruin that Elusive had pointed to. He sits up and rubs his head, then stares in horror at Nightterror Nebula, who is standing before him, laughing and supporting the Element orbs in the air. Dusk lowers his head and prepares to charge.

Nightterror Nebula: You’re kidding. You’re kidding, right?

Dusk is not kidding: his horn begins to glow and he charges NN, who starts to gallop towards him in an almost identical fashion. When they are about to collide, Dusk vanishes, and NN draws to a halt, confused. Dusk reappears next to the stone orbs.

Dusk: Just one spark...

He starts to work some magic on the orbs, which begin to emit a glow. NN scowls and rushes to the Elements, knocking Dusk back, but the orbs keep glowing.

NN: No. No!

Dusk smiles smugly, but the glow fades and the Elements are still.

Dusk: But-But where’s the sixth element?

NN laughs triumphantly, and uses his armoured hooves to smash the orbs into irreparable smithereens. Dusk stares in horror as the fragments and all hope for Equestria falls to the ground.

NN: You ignorant foal. Thinking you can defeat me? Now you will never see your ruler, or your sun. The night. Will last. FOREVER! (evil laughter)

Dusk looks on in despair, but turn around when he hears AJ, Blitz, Berry, Butterscotch and Elusive coming up the stairs. He gasps, and a spark flashes in his eye.

Dusk: You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like THAT? You were wrong! Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right HERE!

The other colts assemble behind him as the fragments levitate and start to glow.

NN: What?

Dusk: Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... Honesty!

Glowing orange fragments start to orbit AJ, who is confused.

Dusk: Butterscotch, who tamed a manticore with his compassion, represents the spirit of... Kindness!

Glowing pink fragments start to orbit Butterscotch, who is startled.

Dusk: Bubble Berry, who banished fear by laughing in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... Laughter!

Glowing blue fragments start to orbit Berry, who hops up and down excitedly.

Dusk: Elusive, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of... Generosity!

Glowing purple fragments start to orbit Elusive, who is thoughtful.

Dusk: And Rainbow Blitz, who could not abandon his friends for his own heart’s desire, represents the spirit of... Loyalty!

Glowing red fragments start to orbit Blitz, and everypony looks fierce as they face Nightterror Nebula.

Dusk: The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us!

NN: (desperately) You still don’t have the sixth element! The spark didn’t work!

Dusk: But it did – a different kind of spark. (Turns to the others) I felt it the very moment I realised how glad I was to hear you... to see you... how much I care about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realised that you all (turns back to Nightterror Nebula) are MY FRIENDS!

Above his head there is a flash of light, and a sixth stone orb floats down and hovers above Dusk. Nightterror Nebula shields himself from the glow.

Dusk: You see, Nightterror Nebula, when those elements are united by the... the spark which resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element. The Element of... MAGIC!

The fragments band together into something on Blitz, AJ, Berry, Elusive and Butterscotch’s necks, and a crown on Dusk’s head, and they all begin to hover together and glow like the sun. A rainbow shoots into the air from this glow, and strikes Nightterror Nebula in the chest.

NN: NOOOOOOOO!!! *screams*

Dusk opens his eyes and everything is bathed in white light.

He and his friends wake up after an indeterminable amount of time has passed. Elusive has regrown his tail.

Blitz: Ow... my head... what did I drink last night?

Elusive: Oh, thank goodness! (waves his tail in the air)

Butterscotch: Why Elusive, it’s so pretty!

Elusive: I know! (snuggles his tail) I’ll never part with it again!

Butterscotch: No, your collar. It looks just like your cutie mark.

Elusive sees the golden collar he is wearing: it has a purple gem in the shape of a diamond, the same shape as the diamonds that make up his cutie mark.

Elusive: So does yours!

Butterscotch sees that he too is wearing a collar, with a gem in the shape of a pink butterfly. AJ has one in the shape of an orange apple; Berry has a light blue balloon, and Blitz has a red lightning bolt.

Berry: Look at mine, look at mine!

Blitz: (Quagmire-style) Alright!

Dusk looks up: he is wearing a gold crown with a gem in the shape of his cutie mark: a magenta six-pointed star.

AJ: Wow, Dusk. Ah thought you were just bein’ gay, but Ah reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.

Lord Solaris: Indeed you do.

The room is flooded with light as the sun rises, and Lord Solaris appears in a flash of light. Everypony bows – except Dusk.

Dusk: Lord Solaris! (runs over and hugs him)

Solaris: Dusk Shine, my most faithful student! I knew you could do it.

Dusk: But... But you said it was just an old pony tale!

Solaris: I told you that you needed to make some friends; nothing more. (The other colts begin to rise) I saw the signs of Nightterror Nebula’s return, and I knew that you had the magic inside to defeat him, but you could not utilise that magic until you allowed true friendship into your heart.

Dusk nods to his friends.

Solaris: Now if only another will as well: Prince Artemis.

Prince Artemis opens his eyes and gasps.

Solaris: It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little brother.

Everypony else: (quietly) Brother?!

Solaris: Will you accept my friendship?

Dusk and his friends lean forward expectantly – Berry so much that he falls over.

Prince Artemis: I’m so sorry! (Hugs Solaris) I missed you so much, big brother!

Solaris: *sniff* (hugs him back) I missed you too!

Berry starts to bawl loudly, massive fountains of tears erupting from his eyes, until he interrupts himself:

Berry: Hey! You know what this calls for? A PARTY!!!

The ponies have returned to Ponyville, and a massive celebration is in full swing, with confetti, streamers and balloons everywhere. Spines parts the crowd and embraces Dusk tightly. Solaris and Artemis arrive in a golden chariot, and everypony bows to them. A pair of tiny pegasus fillies drape a garland of flowers around Artemis’ neck, and he looks at his brother happily. Dusk Shine, however, looks rather down in the dumps.

Solaris: Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is over and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?

Dusk: That’s just it, your highness. (look at his friends) As soon as I find out how awesome it is to have friends, I have to leave them.

Solaris looks thoughtful for a moment, then smiles.

Solaris: Spines, take a note please. (Spines starts writing) I, Lord Solaris, hereby declare that the unicorn known as Dusk Shine shall take on a new mission for Equestria. He shall continue to study the magic of friendship. He shall report to me his findings, from his new home in Ponyville!

Blitz/AJ/Butterscotch/Berry/Elusive: *cheer*

Dusk: Thank you, Lord Solaris! I’ll study harder than ever before!

Everypony cheers. Bubble Berry then obliterates the fourth wall.

Berry: (to the audience) Isn’t this exciting? Are you excited? ‘Coz I’m excited! I’ve never been so excited! Well, except for the time when I went *GASP!* But I mean really-

Episode Three: The Return of Harmony part 1

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic rule 63 edition

EPISODE THREE: THE RETURN OF HARMONY part 1

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover images by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Eris: The spirit of chaos and disharmony, and not your average villain – prefers pranks and mischief to actual evil.

Lesser characters:

Lord Solaris: Ruler of Equestria and Dusk Shine’s mentor.

Cherry Lee: Teacher at Ponyville Elementary School.

Applebuck: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Applejack’s younger brother.

Sweepy Bell: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Elusive’s younger brother.

Scooteroll: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Canterlot Sculpture Garden: all around are carved stone statues on tall pedestals, and nearby is the palace labyrinth. Cherry Lee is leading his class through the garden.

Cherry Lee: I want to start our field trip here, in the world famous Canterlot Sculpture Garden. (Looks up at a nearby statue) That one there represents friendship.

Applebuck stops to admire the statue, and Sweepy Bell and Scooteroll crash into him.

Cherry Lee: Alright, my little ponies! This one represents victory. (Indicates statue)

Scooteroll: How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark?

Applebuck: Cool! If y’all were actually victoryful at somethin’.

Sweepy Bell: That’s not a word!

Scooteroll: And what are you; a dictionary?

Cherry Lee: BOYS!

The CMCs rejoin the rest of the class.

Cherry Lee: Now this is a very interesting statue. (He points up at the stone Eris) What do you notice about it?

Applebuck: It’s got an eagle claw.

Scooteroll: And a lion paw.

Sweepy Bell: And a snake tail!

Cherry Lee: This creature is called a Draconequus. She has the head of a pony and a body made up of all sorts of different things. What do you suppose that represents?

Applebuck: Confusion!

Sweepy Bell: Evil!

Scooteroll: Chaos!

Sweepy Bell: It’s not chaos, you dodo.

Scooteroll: Don’t call me things I don’t know the meaning of, and it totally is chaos!

Sweepy Bell: It is not!

Applebuck: (jumping between the two) You’re both wrong.

All three foals descend into a flurry of fighting. Everypony is distracted, and doesn’t notice a light starting to throb at the heart of the Eris statue.

Cherry Lee: As a matter of fact, in a way you’re all right.

They stop fighting.

Cherry Lee: This statue represents Eris, which means ‘a lack of harmony between ponies’. In fact, you kids have demonstrated Eris so well that you’re all going to write me an essay explaining it.

The CMCs look crestfallen; the rest of the class laughs.

Cherry Lee: Now let’s move, and I don’t want any more fighting.

The CMCs follow the class, still arguing about whether it’s confusion, evil or chaos. Unbeknownst to them, a crack runs up the statue, expanding from the throbbing light, and an ominous laugh is heard in the background.

(Theme song)

Rainbow Blitz is out for a routine flight over Ponyville when suddenly a whizzing cloud knocks him off course. He starts to give chase.

Rainbow Blitz: Come back here you! (Catches the cloud) Gotcha! (Jumps off, covered in pink stuff) Ew, what’s this? (He shakes off the worst of it, and tentatively tastes what’s left – confused) Cotton candy?

He finds himself surrounded by whizzing clouds made of cotton candy: one stops right over his head and a brown droplet falls out, landing on his forehead.

Blitz: What-Hang on a sec! It’s not supposed to rain until tomorrow! You can’t just- (the cloud drenches him in brown rain) You did.

Sweet Apple Acres: Applejack is tending to his corn and Blitz flies overhead in hot pursuit of the clouds, which begin to rain more brown stuff onto the farm.

Blitz: Hey, I didn’t tell you to go anywhere!

Applejack: Blitz, what’s with all this rain – I mean, chocolate milk – I mean, chocolate milk rain?

Blitz: (flies down to AJ) There’s crazy weather all over Equestria! Cloudsdale’s getting soaked by a major cola storm right now, but don’t worry (around them the corn starts to pop) I’m not leaving ‘til we get control of Ponyville.

Bubble Berry: Why would you want to stop THIS?

He leaps in and out of the heaps of popcorn, then pops out of one pile and holds his mouth open, letting the chocolate milk fall in. Elusive arrives wearing a raincoat and umbrella.

Elusive: *clears his throat* I heard about your troubles, Applejack, and I came to see if there was anything I could do without getting wet. Or dirty. Or... out from my umbrella.

Suddenly, all the apples in the nearby orchard swell to the size of basketballs, and the trees bend double under the weight. Various rodents start to devour them.

AJ: Butterscotch, do something!

Butterscotch: (to a rabbit) Now Angela, you can’t just-

The rabbits all grow legs three feet long, with cloven hooves at the end. They start to gallop around in packs. Naturally the ponies are baffled.

Butterscotch: Am I – Am I tripping?

Dusk Shine approaches, head in a book (as usual) with Spines at his side.

Dusk Shine: Not to worry, guys. I’ve learnt a new spell that will fix everything!

He puts his book away and concentrates. His horn glows, and all of Sweet Apple Acres is bathed in white light... which does nothing.

Dusk: What? My fail safe spell... failed? Now what?

Spines: Um, pack it in and go home?

Elusive: Spines, Dusk Shine will think of something. (levitates his umbrella onto Dusk’s back)

Dusk: Hmm, time for plan B. Blitz; can you corral all those clouds in one corner of the sky?

Blitz salutes and starts rounding up the cotton candy clouds into a tight clump.

Dusk: Applejack, I need you to bring those highly strung storm clouds down to earth.

AJ takes out a lasso and ropes the clouds, dragging them down to the ground, leaving Berry sitting with his mouth open.

Berry: (annoyed) Hey! What happened?

AJ ties the cloud clump to a nearby fence while Dusk whispers something in Butterscotch’s ear: he seems to understand.

Butterscotch: (in a very obvious, indicative voice) Oh dear! I hope none of the animals see these delicious chocolate filled cotton candy clouds. I’d hate to have to share them!

Berry: (face buried in cotton candy) You and me both, bro! (he is knocked out of the way by hungry animals) Hey!

Dusk: You see, Spines? You should never give up. There’s NOTHING we can’t overcome if we all stick together.

Spines suddenly belches out a letter: Dusk reads it and gasps in shock.

Dusk: Hey guys! Lord Solaris wants to see us all in Canterlot, NOW!

Some time later: Lord Solaris is pacing impatiently in front of a window in his throne room. Dusk runs in, followed by his friends.

Dusk: Lord Solaris! We came as fast as we could! (stops running)

Lord Solaris: Thank you, Dusk Shine. Thank you all.

Dusk: Is this about the weather? And the animals’ weird behaviour? What’s happening out there and why isn’t my magic working? Is there-

Solaris holds up a hoof for silence.

Solaris: Follow me.

He leads them to a different part of the castle, with walls lined in decorative stained glass windows.

Solaris: The reason I have summoned you here is one of extreme urgency. It appears an old foe of mine – someone I thought I had defeated long ago – has returned.

Butterscotch strays from the group and looks up at a stained glass window.

Solaris: Her name... is Eris.

Butterscotch catches sight of the stained glass Eris and yelps in fright, quickly rejoining his friends.

Solaris: Eris is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my brother and I stood up to her she ruled Equestria in a constant state of unrest and unhappiness. Artemis and I saw how miserable life was for earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns alike, and so after discovering the Elements of Harmony we combined our powers and rose up against her, turning her to stone.

Blitz: (punching the air) Dude, you ROCK!

Solaris: I thought the enchantment would keep her contained eternally, but because Artemis and I are no longer connected to the Elements, the spell has been broken.

Dusk: No longer connected?

Solaris: This is Canterlot Tower, where the Elements are kept since all of you recovered them. (Turns to face the others) I need you to wield the Elements once again, and stop Eris before she plunges Equestria into eternal chaos.

Dusk: But why us? Why don’t you-

Berry: Hey, check it out! We’re famous!

He is looking up at a stained glass window depicting Dusk, Blitz, AJ, Berry, Elusive and Butterscotch using the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightterror Nebula.

Solaris: You six displayed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to defeat a mighty foe. Although Artemis and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you that must defeat Eris!

Pause: Dusk looks thoughtful, and then smiles.

Dusk: Lord Solaris, you can count on-

Berry: Wait, wait a minute, hang on! (Speaks in a very indicative voice) Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate. Rain!

Dusk: (to Solaris) Don’t listen to him, sir. We’d be honoured to use the Elements again.

Solaris nods and inserts his horn into a keyhole in a door. The door glows from the inside and then opens – Dusk and his friends shield their eyes from the light. Inside is a gem-encrusted chest.

Elusive: *coos appreciatively* Since we’re using the Elements, is it alright if I take that case?

Solaris: Have no fear, boys. (Takes out the case) I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Eris... with these.

He opens the case, and then drops it in shock: the Elements are gone. Everypony gasps in horror.

Berry: (starts to leave) Oh well. If anypony needs me, I’ll be outside in a chocolate puddle with a giant swizzle straw!

(commercial)

Dusk: The Elements! They’re... gone!

Solaris: (pacing) That chamber is protected by a powerful spell only I can break. This doesn’t make any sense!

He stops pacing when ominous laughter rings through the room.

Eris: Make sense? Aw, what fun is there in making sense?

Solaris: Eris. Show yourself!

Eris: (laughter) Did you miss me Solly?

A stained glass image of Eris animates and flies into the next window saying:

Eris: I’ve missed you. (lies down on a picture of a circle) It’s quite lonely being encased in stone, but then again, you wouldn’t know that, would you? Because I don’t turn ponies into stone!

A glass picture of Butterscotch appears to petrify, and Eris knocks on it with her claw.

Solaris: Enough! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?

Eris: Oh, nothing. I just borrowed them for an itty bitty while.

She snaps her fingers (talons?) and the Elements in the picture vanish.

Solaris: You’ll never get away with this, Eris!

Eris: D’aw, I’d forgotten how grim and clichéd you can be, Solly. It’s really quite boring.

Blitz: What did you just say? Nopony insults Lord Solaris!

He flies at the window, trying to catch Eris, but she vanishes and he crashes uselessly into the glass. When he prises his face off the window Eris reappears.

Eris: Well, well, you must be Rainbow Blitz: famed for his loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent.

Blitz: You got that right! I’ll always be loyal to Lord Solaris!

Eris: (vanishes) We’ll see about that.

Elusive: I for one have no idea why we’re wasting our time talking to some gaudy window.

Eris: (appearing in a window next to him) The GORGEOUS Elusive, representative of the Element of Generosity, unless I am very much mistaken.

AJ: So you know who we are. So what?

Eris: (enlarging to fill the entire window) Oh, I know a lot more than that, Mr Honest Applejack.

Dusk: You seem to know our strengths, too.

Eris appears lying lazily on a stained glass orb which contains a picture of Dusk.

Eris: Yes, Dusk Shine, and your Element is the most powerful and rarest of all – Magic. Butterscotch is Kindness and Bubble Berry’s is a personal favourite of mine: Laughter!

Berry starts sniggering.

Dusk: Berry!

Berry: (laughing) She’s standing, ha-ha, on your head!

Eris does the Rain Man on top of stained-glass Dusk’s head.

Solaris: Stop stalling, Eris! I command you to tell me what you’ve done with the Elements of Harmony!

Eris: Aw, such a prude, Solly. Fair enough – I’ll tell you, but I’ll only tell you my way. (grows large, and flits between windows) To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan, then find the Elements (returns to her original position and freezes) back where you began.

Her laughter echoes and fades out.

Butterscotch: Can-Can we go home, now?

AJ: What d’you think she meant – twists and turns and then back to where we started?

Dusk: (pacing) Twists and turns, twists and turns... (looks out the windows and sees the labyrinth) Twists and turns, that’s IT! I bet Eris hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!

Solaris: Good luck, my little ponies. (bows to the colts) The fate of Equestria... is in your hooves.

Dusk: Thank you, Lord Solaris. We won’t let you down!

He and his friends quickly depart, while Solaris looks around suspiciously, trying to find the source of Eris’ echoing laughter. Dusk and his friends reach the labyrinth and draw to a halt, looking up at the huge, intimidating entrance.

Butterscotch: We... We have to go in there?

Blitz: Nope. (flares his wings) Ditzy old Eris forgot about these babies. (takes to the air) I’ll just do a quick flyover and we’ll have the Elements in a snap.

His wings vanish in midair, and he fall to the ground and stares at his back in horror.

Blitz: MY WINGS!!!

Butterscotch’s wings vanish too and he screams. At the same moment, Dusk and Elusive’s horns vanish.

Dusk/Elusive: Your horn! My horn! *screams*

There is a flash of white light, and Eris appears in the flesh, blocking the entrance to the labyrinth. She rears up and laughs uproariously.

Eris: You-You should see the look on your faces! Priceless!

Dusk: (stamps his hoof) Give us our wings and horns back!

Eris: You’ll get them back when I say so. (she starts moving between the colts, getting very up close and personal) I simply took them away so there wasn’t any cheating. See, this is the first rule of our game: no flying (nose to nose with Dusk) and no magic.

She stands up straight, clasping her hands (?) together.

Eris: The second rule is that every one of you has to play, else the game is over and I win. Good luck, everypony!

She laughs again and vanishes.

Dusk: Not to worry guys, we have each other.

Blitz: Yeah! Like Dusk said, there’s nothing we can’t overcome if we all stick together!

The six colts line up before the labyrinth.

Dusk: Alright guys, let’s do this.

They all slam a hoof though the entrance with a cry of:

All: TOGETHER!

Suddenly hedges spring up between and behind them, catching them surprise and trapping them all in separate aisles.

Dusk: Chillax, guys! Everypony head for the centre and we’ll regroup there!

Blitz: Moving out!

Elusive: See you in the centre.

AJ: Yee-haw!

Berry: See you guys there!

Butterscotch: (hyperventilating) What’s that? Who’s there? GUYS!!!

Nopony answers: they have all galloped in their separate directions and are making their way through the labyrinth. AJ stops when he comes across a trio of red apples laid out on the ground in the shape of his cutie mark. They start to roll away of their own accord.

AJ: What in tarnation?

He hurries after the apples and comes to a grove of apple trees surrounding a small pool. The trees drop their crops, which group together in their three colours –red, pink and green – and start circling a very confused AJ, laughing.

AJ: What are y’all?

The apples pile up into blob like shapes with eyes and mouths, and talk with surreal voices.

Green blob: The keepers of the grove of truth. You may ask us...

Pink blob: One question...

Red blob: Past, future or present.

Green: But be warned...

Pink: About the truth...

Red: It may not always be pleasant.

AJ: Um... (To himself) Well, Ah don’t trust this place for nothin’, but ah got a real bad feeling about this lady Eris. (To the blobs) What’s gonna become of this here mission we’re on?

They lead him over to the pool.

Green: For the answer you seek...

Pink: Go ahead...

Red: Take a peek.

AJ looks into the waters of the pool and an image of a severely messed-up Ponyville appears. He and his friends – still missing their wings and horns – are standing in a group looking angry. Their faces drift across the image as they talk.

Pond Blitz: I hope I never see you again!

Pond Butterscotch: Me too!

Pond Berry: Fine.

Pond Elusive: Fine!

Pond Dusk: It’s settled then.

They all turn around and gallop away in different directions.

AJ: Our friendship... OVER?!

Above the scene, Eris is hovering, controlling the apple blobs like marionettes. AJ removes his hat solemnly.

AJ: That can’t be true. It just... can’t!

(commercial)

AJ: (hat back on) That just can’t be the truth.

Green: All the truth does is make your heart ache. (Eris talking through the blob) Sometimes a lie is easier to take.

AJ’s eyes swirl: he has clearly been hypnotised. As he stands there, face painted in shock, his entire body – hat and all – fades to a much duller colour. Behind him the hedge splits open and Dusk gallops past, backtracking when he sees AJ.

Dusk: Applejack! I thought I heard voices in here. (The grove is now gone) Who were you talking to?

AJ: Ah was talking to... nopony! Nopony whatsoever. (Looks shiftily from side to side)

Dusk: You what?

AJ: Nothin’. (looks shifty again) C’mon, we best be going. (Trots past Dusk)

Dusk: Did Applejack just... nah, don’t be stupid, Dusk. Applejack wouldn’t lie... would he?

Elsewhere in the maze: Berry is hopping through the labyrinth humming to himself when he sees a trio of balloons that look exactly like his cutie mark. He then finds himself in a balloon “garden”.

Berry: (laughing) This is the best balloon garden I’ve ever seen! (Still laughing) It’s the first balloon garden I’ve ever seen. Whoa!

One of the balloon’s strings has wrapped itself around his leg, and he trips and falls face first into a puddle of mud. Laughter rings throughout the balloon garden. Berry is surprised and confused.

Berry: Hey, what gives?

Eris: (appearing in a flash of white light) What’s the matter, Bubble Berry? I thought you appreciated a good laugh.

Berry: It’s different; they’re laughing AT me.

Eris: It’s tough being different, isn’t it?

Her head disappears, and a balloon with an evil looking face starts talking.

Eris balloon: Your friends laugh at you all the time!

Berry: (standing up) My friends laugh WITH me, not AT me!

Eris balloon: (circling around Berry) Oh really?

The balloon circles Berry faster and faster – he tries to follow it with his eyes but ends up dizzy and clutching his head. Other balloons start to crowd around him, laughing harshly. Five of them take on the appearances of Elusive, Dusk, AJ, Butterscotch and Blitz, and laugh mockingly at the pink colt as he lies on the floor with his hooves on his head.

Berry: No! Please! Stop laughing!

Eris balloon: Oh, poor Bubble Berry. And here I thought laughter made you happy...

She hypnotises Berry, who stands up looking angry.

Berry: Happy? (loses colour, like AJ) I don’t think so.

The balloons all pop, revealing Dusk and AJ standing in a separate entrance to the area.

Dusk: Berry! Man, am I glad to see you!

Berry: Oh you are, huh? Why? Need a good LAUGH? (trots past)

Dusk: (to AJ) What do you think has him so upset?

AJ: Ah didn’t notice anythin’ strange about Berry. (looks shifty)

Dusk: Hmm. Better pick up the pace before the stress of this gets the better of all of us.

In a different part of the labyrinth, Elusive is trotting along haughtily.

Elusive: I was expecting an audience with his majesty, not outdoor sports. (Crashes into something) Ow – oh my...

He is dazzled by something in a wall in front of him. When the light fades, there is revealed to be a rock wall with three diamonds – resembling his cutie mark – embedded in the stone. Eris’ laughing face appears in each one.

Eris: Welcome to your lucky day, Elusive. You have just discovered the one thing in Equestria that could rival me for sheer brilliance. (Elusive’s eyes take on the “hypnosis” look) You like?

Elusive: Oh yes, I like very much. (shakes his head, the hypnosis effect vanishes) No! I shan’t succumb to such fabulousness! (He turns around and tries to walk away, but appears to be struggling) Must... get to the... centre... to meet... with the... others... (loses control, and his colouration dulls) MINE!!!

He digs like crazy at the rock wall, only stopping when he is surrounded by tiny stones and covered in dust.

Elusive: Well Elusive, it took forever but it was worth it. (reveal that he has just uncovered a diamond bigger than he is, and he starts to nuzzle it) Who’d have thought that those three little gems would turn out to be this beautiful BABE of a diamond? Now to get you home!

He strains to pick up the diamond, and the remains of the rock wall collapse, revealing Dusk, AJ and Berry.

Dusk: Elusive! Thank- Why the hay are you carrying a gigantic boulder?

Apparently, only Elusive thinks it’s a diamond – it is actually just a big-ass rock. He dumps it on the ground angrily.

Elusive: Boulder? I’ll have you know that this great big brilliant bobby-dazzler is a DIAMOND! And it’s all mine. Keep your envious little hooves OFF IT! I found it and it’s MINE fair and square!!

He picks up the boulder and starts to walk again. Elsewhere: Butterscotch is hiding in a hedge. He comes out and looks around, terrified.

Butterscotch: Okay Butterscotch, you can do this – AH! (Jumps back inside the hedge, hiding from a trio of butterflies that look like his cutie mark. He pulls himself out) Wait, butterflies? (gallops after them) Wait for me! Don’t leave me here!

He runs through the labyrinth until he comes to a crossroads, finding himself alone. The butterflies – obviously Eris in disguise – come up behind him.

Butterfly: Butterscotch? Look like you’ve been left behind by your so-called friends, huh?

Butterscotch: Oh no. I’m sure they’re doing their utmost to find me.

He starts to walk away, but the butterflies block him.

Butterfly: Well, it must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are.

Butterscotch: (smiling) But I AM weak and helpless, and you don’t know how much I appreciate their understanding and patience.

Butterfly: (slipping into Eris’ voice) Well, surely it burns you up! I mean, they’re always pointing out your flaws, right?

Butterscotch: Not really. As a matter of fact, I think I’m extremely lucky to have friends who want me to be the best that I possibly can.

The butterflies are replaced by a very pissed-off Eris.

Eris: Oh, for crying out loud! (touches Butterscotch on the head – he is hypnotised and loses his colour) You’ve been kind for far too long, pal! Time to be CRUEL. Arrivederci! (vanishes)

Dusk: (rounds the corner) Butterscotch! It’s so good to see a friendly face – this labyrinth is getting to all of us!

He looks round at the rest of his friends – AJ is nonchalant, Berry blows a raspberry and Elusive is straining under the weight of his “gem”.

Butterscotch: (turning around) Oh boo hoo hoo!

Dusk: Huh?

Butterscotch: (standing up) Why don’t you wave your magic little horn and make everything better? Oh, that’s right! You don’t have one anymore!

He turns and starts to walk away, flicking Dusk’s chin with his tail.

Dusk: What the hay is happening to my friends?

Butterscotch shoves Berry to the ground, and AJ starts laughing.

Berry: And what’re YOU laughing at?

AJ: Chocolate milk. (looks shifty)

Elusive: *grunt* Little help here! (Dusk runs over and helps him hold the boulder) Thanks Dusk.

Dusk: You’re wel-

Elusive: But don’t get any ideas about my gem! (points at Dusk’s face) I know where you live.

In another part of the labyrinth, Blitz dives from hedge to hedge as if on a stealth mission. He looks up when he sees a small cloud drift past, which crackles with miniature lightning bolts. The lightning is striped red, yellow and blue, making the cloud resemble his cutie mark. He smiles.

Blitz: I got you now, Element!

He gallops after the cloud, which leads him to an area where Eris is lying on a cloud strung between two trees like a hammock. She is wearing a pair of tacky sunglasses.

Eris: I can see why you like these clouds so much, Blitzy – very plush.

Blitz: (standing on his hind legs making punching movements) Get off there and put ‘em up! So what if you’re a girl? Come on, let’s go!

Eris: (standing up) Hey, take a chill pill; I’m here to deliver a message!

Blitz: I got a message for you too, bitch!

Eris: (removes her sunglasses) Listen very carefully – I shall say this only once. (Getting very up close and personal) A weighty choice is yours to make; the right selection or a big mistake. If a wrong choice you choose to pursue, the foundations of home will crumble without you.

She snaps her fingers and the cloud from earlier spins around in front of her, crackling with tricoloured lightning, until it shows an image of Cloudsdale collapsing and numerous pegasi flying away in fright.

Blitz: Cloudsdale... crumble... without me... (Hypnosis eyes) NOOOOOO!!

A box wrapped in ribbon appears in front of him.

Eris: That box contains your wings, Blitzy. You can take them and leave, or continue endlessly wandering this labyrinth. It’s your choice.

Blitz loses his colour. Meanwhile, Dusk and his friends are wandering through the hedges. Dusk is carrying Elusive’s “gem” on his back.

Dusk: Must... find... Rainbow Blitz... as a team... we’re unstoppable!

AJ: Well, looky there! Rainbow Blitz is flying away. He’s abandonin’ us!

Dusk: (drops the rock) Now I know that’s a lie. (Sees Blitz flying away from the labyrinth, wings regained) What? No! How could- no!

Suddenly the hedges of the labyrinth disappear into the ground, leaving a massive crater with five slightly confused ponies standing in it. Eris appears, apparently angry.

Eris: Well, well, well! Somepony broke the no wings, no magic rule! Game’s over, my little ponies, you didn’t find your precious Elements.

She snaps her “fingers”; Butterscotch’s wings reappear, as do Dusk and Elusive’s horns. Eris opens an umbrella, which makes a “meow” sound.

Eris: Looks like we might be in for a big ol’ storm of CHAOS!

She laughs evilly, while Dusk Shine looks nothing short of terrified.

To Be Continued...

Episode Four: The Return of Harmony part 2

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic rule 63 edition

EPISODE FOUR: THE RETURN OF HARMONY part 2

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover images by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Eris: The spirit of chaos and disharmony, and not your average villain – prefers pranks and mischief to actual evil.

Lesser characters:

Lord Solaris: Ruler of Equestria and Dusk Shine’s mentor.

Previously on My Little Brony...

Dusk Shine: (running into the throne room) Lord Solaris! We came as fast as we could!

Lord Solaris: I need you to wield the Elements once again, and stop Eris.

Dusk: The Elements! They’re... gone!

Eris: (laughing) Every one of you has to play, else the game is over and I win.

Applejack: Our friendship... OVER?!

Dusk: Who were you talking to?

AJ: Nopony! Nopony whatsoever. (Looks shiftily from side to side)

Dusk: What? (Different scene) Berry! Man, am I glad to see you!

Bubble Berry: Oh you are, huh? Why? Need a good LAUGH?

Dusk: What the hay is happening to my friends?

Eris: Looks like we might be in for a big ol’ storm of CHAOS!

(theme song)

Following on from where the previous episode left off. Eris is rolling around on the ground laughing; Dusk is wearing an expression of horror and despair as she does. Suddenly, Berry pops up, looking angry.

Berry: And what’re YOU laughing at?

Eris: (wipes her eyes) You guys are the most fun I’ve had in aeons!

Berry: (standing on her belly) Well, QUIT IT! You better stop before you laugh at the Bub... ble Berry!

Butterscotch: Oh yeah? Well ha, ha!

Berry: Quit it!

Butterscotch: No. Ha, ha!

Berry: QUIT IT!

Butterscotch: No! (Continues to laugh mockingly at Berry)

AJ: Uh, Elusive? (Strokes the boulder) This here diamond o’ yours? Dusk said we should split is six ways since we, uh, found it together.

He starts to look shiftily from side, but Elusive floors him with a karate kick.

Elusive: Hi-YAH! (Kicks AJ) Try it, bitch. She’s mine. All MINE! (He then proceeds to defend his ‘gem’ from AJ, even as he backs away)

Dusk: Guys, why are you acting like this?

Berry: (ignoring Dusk) Quit it! STOP IT!

Dusk: We need to stick together!

Butterscotch: (also ignoring Dusk) Ha, ha!

Eris has summoned herself a cinema-style set of seats, and is sitting down lazily eating from a box of popcorn.

Eris: It’s just too entertaining.

Dusk: Stop it, Eris. You’re not playing fair!

Eris: (putting down the popcorn and standing up) Oh, I’m not playing fair? Well, perhaps we haven’t met? I’m Eris, spirit of chaos and disharmony. Hello!

Dusk: (backing away) How are we supposed to find the Elements of Harmony when you took away the labyrinth before we could get to the end?

Eris: Oh wait, did you- HA! Now that is a classic. You thought the Elements were in the labyrinth?

She brings up a vision of the scene in Canterlot Tower, with her past self reciting the riddle. Eris smiles as Dusk watches, confused.

Past Eris: Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.

They return to the present.

Eris: I never said they were in the labyrinth.

Dusk: But you-

Eris: Keep trying, Dusky. (mockingly) Maybe the magic of friendship can help you! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some chaos to wreak.

She disappears in a flash of white light. Over Dusk’s head, the sky is closed by cotton candy clouds, which then start to drench the area in chocolate rain (some stay dry and others feel the pain).

Berry: Chocolate milk? I HATE chocolate milk!

Dusk: (trying to ignore his friends) Ugh, come on, Dusk, think! Think! “Find the Elements back where you began”. Back where you began...

Behind Dusk, a commotion is taking place.

Elusive: (carrying his ‘gem’ on his back) Don’t you DARE touch my gem!

Butterscotch: I’m touching your gem, Elusive. (He places a hoof on the boulder) Ha, ha!

Berry: What’re YOU laughing at?

Dusk: I just wanna go home! (has a “Eureka moment”) Wait... home! Back where you began. The Elements must be in Ponyville!

Ponyville is shown. Several buildings are floating in the air, upside down. The grass has been replaced by pink and blue chequers, and the sky is hidden behind cotton candy clouds showering the scene in chocolate milk. Dusk is leading his friends down a road towards the insane town.

Dusk: C’mon guys, I’m sure this is what Eris’ riddle really meant. If we can get back to the library, I have a book which I know can give us a- WAH!

He is trampled by three foot tall rabbits with hooves.

Butterscotch: Good girl, Angela. Papa’s so proud!

Night suddenly falls, and the roads have apparently become extremely slippery.

AJ: Wow, Ah can see so much better now. Whoa! (He loses his footing and slides along the road, knocking down Butterscotch, Berry and Elusive before coming to a rest next to Dusk) Ah meant to do that.

Dusk: (as the sun suddenly rises, he starts slipping and struggles to remain upright) Eris turned our dirt roads into soap!

Eris: (skating past) Beautiful, isn’t it? (points at the town) This is the new, improved Ponyville, and these are only my first changes!

Berry: This may look like fun (dances around like a figure skater) but it’s not!

Dusk is obviously getting more and more annoyed. Eris appears behind him and picks him up, holding him out so he can see Ponyville.

Eris: Picture it, Dusky. The chaos capital of the world.

Dusk: (as night falls again) I can’t picture anything. It’s too dark.

Eris drops him onto the soapy road.

Eris: Oh well, give it a few minutes and you’ll see it in the spectacular light of day! Or not. (She leaps into the air and vanishes)

Dusk: Ponyville, the chaos capital of the world? Not if I have anything to say about it!

Butterscotch: (skating past) Don’t worry, you won’t. Hehehehehehehe!

Later: the five colts (and one boulder) are walking towards the library. The sun suddenly sprouts into the sky.

Dusk: *sigh* Okay, we’re here, now will everypony just PLEASE just go inside?

AJ: Ah absolutely refuse. (As he trots inside, he loses his colour and turns completely grey)

Butterscotch: My pleasure! (He stops to trample the flowers by the door, and also fades to absolute greyness)

Berry: (entering, turning grey) I HATE libraries!

Dusk groans, and Elusive starts petting his rock.

Dusk: Come ON!

Elusive: Forget it, Dusk! I know exactly what you’re up to. As soon as I go in there you’ll have your little minion Spines come and take Ida!

Dusk: (baffled) Ida?!

Elusive: Well, it’s not going to work!

He nuzzles ‘Ida’ affectionately and becomes completely grey.

Dusk: *sigh* You’re not going in there without her, are you?

Elusive: Nope.

Dusk: (picking up the rock) Fine!

Inside the library, Spines has fallen asleep lying on a mop. Butterscotch picks up the bucket of water and upends it over her head. She is startled awake and shakes herself dry.

Spines: The hay did you do that for, Butterscotch?

Butterscotch: ‘Coz you just looked so peaceful.

Spines: I... uh, what?

Suddenly, Ida crashes through the wall. Dusk almost collapses, and Elusive is annoyed.

Elusive: Careful, you’ll spoil her beautiful finish!

Dusk: Oh, for the love of-

Spines: Dusk, what’s going on? Why does everypony look so... grey?

Dusk: You DON’T wanna know. I just need you to help me find something.

Butterscotch: Hey Dusk, what’s soaking wet and clueless?

Dusk: Butterscotch, I’ve had just about enough of-

Butterscotch: (empties the bucket on Dusk) Your FACE! (Slams it onto the hapless unicorn’s head)

Spines: What’s happened to everypony?

AJ: Ah guess you just bring out the worst in us, Spines.

Spines looks hurt.

Dusk: No time to explain. Could you help me find the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony? I want to find it before SOMEPONY does something he’ll regret.

Spines: The Elements of Harmony? I know exactly where that book is! (climbs a ladder and pulls out the book) Found it!

Butterscotch snatches it away from her claws.

Dusk: Butterscotch, give me that book. Now.

Butterscotch: Keep away! (throws it to AJ)

Dusk: Hey! Applejack, give me the book!

AJ: (balancing it on his nose) I don’t have any book! (He throws it to Berry, who passes it back to Butterscotch)

Dusk: Berry- Guys, quit it!

Spines tackles Butterscotch, who loses his grip on the book. Dusk is about to pick it up when Elusive runs past and grabs it.

Elusive: Mine!

Dusk: Hey, do you even know what you just stole?

Elusive: No, but if you want it, I want it!

Dusk: GIVE ME THAT BOOK!

He chases Elusive around the library, avoiding the obstacles thrown in his path, before stopping after crashing into Ida. Elusive has remained... well, elusive.

Dusk: Where is he? Where’s Elusive?

AJ: Beats me.

Dusk: LIES!!

He jumps on AJ and Berry and a major scuffle begins, everypony throwing punches, kicks and bites into the equation. Eventually Dusk is thrown out, clutching the reference guide like a newborn foal.

Dusk: Get back, all of you! This is my book, and I’m going to READ IT!

Spines stands guard over him as he opens the book, revealing...

Dusk: *gasp* The Elements!

(commercial)

Dusk: The Elements! They were here all the time!

Spines: This is brilliant! Now you guys can defeat Eris and put everything back to normal!

Dusk: See guys? We did it! We found the Elements of Harmony – together!

Butterscotch is playing with Berry’s mane – Berry himself is sitting, cross legged and grumpy. Elusive is polishing Ida, and AJ just yawns, obviously bored.

Dusk: You don’t even care, do you?

Butterscotch/Berry/AJ/Elusive: No!

Dusk: (sadly) I never thought this would happen. My friends... (angry) HAVE TURNED INTO COMPLETE DICKS! (He then places the correct Elements on the correct ponies, saying-) Collar, collar, collar, collar, and... big crown thingy! (puts the crown on). C’mon everypony, let’s go!

Spines: But Dusk, aren’t you missing somepony?

Dusk: (sarcastically) Well now, let’s see: we’ve got the liar, the grump, the hoarder and the brute. I think that just about covers it!

Spines: But what about Rainbow Blitz?

Dusk levitates the final golden collar onto Spines’ neck.

Dusk: Congratulations Spines, you’re the new Rainbow Blitz. Now let’s go!

Spines: But-But what if he finds out I’ve been impersonating him? Oh, that won’t end well.

Dusk: Tough luck, you’re Rainbow Blitz. Now let’s go defeat Eris so we don’t ever have to speak to each other again!

AJ/Butterscotch/Berry: (cheers)

Elusive: (grunting, trying to move Ida)

Dusk: BUDGE!

Outside, the others are waiting.

Dusk: (from inside) Look out! Here comes Ida!

Part of the library wall smashes as Dusk levitates the rock out, it when it falls to the ground the other colts quickly jump out of the way. Eris approaches, wearing an expression of fake despair.

Eris: Well, well, well, I see you’ve found the Elements of Harmony!

Dusk: (bitterly) Hello, Eris. I figured out your dumb riddle. You’re in for it now!

Eris: I certainly am. You've clearly out-duelled me, and now it's time to meet my fate. I'm prepared to be defeated now, boys. (puts on her sunglasses and creates a target on her stomach) Fire at will.

Dusk: Formation! NOW!

Berry, AJ, Butterscotch and Elusive nervously move into V formation around Dusk.

Dusk: Rainbow Blitz, get over here!

Spines joins the formation.

Dusk: Alright, let’s get this over with.

He closes his eyes and concentrates, his horn starting to glow. A magical wind starts to blow through the area, making the pony’s manes stream impressively. Dusk opens his eyes, which glow white, the collars glow as well (although the wearers are less than impressed), they all start to levitate, and Eris lowers her glasses...

...and the Elements fail, and everypony falls in a heap.

Dusk: How- w- what’s going on?

AJ: Mine’s workin'. There must be somethin' wrong with yours.

Berry: I HATE the Elements of Harmony!

Butterscotch: (throwing his to the ground) Hmph, garbage!

Elusive: (grabs the collar) MINE! (vanishes)

Spines: Sorry Dusk. (removes the collar) I-I guess I’d better get back upstairs and clean up the library. Good luck with all this WHOA!

Butterscotch trips her with his tail.

Butterscotch: Whoops! Sorry, Rainbow Ditz!

Eris: Bravo lads, bravo! Harmony in Equestria is officially dead! Eris rules, Solaris drools! (taps Dusk on the nose and laughs – he glares at her angrily)

Berry: (to nopony in particular) It’s YOUR fault it didn’t work!

Dusk: Who the hay are you talking to?

Berry: Any of you! ALL of you! Whatever, I’m outta here!

AJ: Ah’d better go too: Ah’ve got new better friends waitin' fer me at the farm.

Butterscotch: Same here. I’m sick of you losers.

Dusk: Fine! LEAVE! See if I care! With friends like you, who needs... enemies...?

He bows his head and finally succumbs to Eris’ corruption, turning completely grey. A tear rolls down his cheek and splashes onto the blue ground, the puddle taking the shape of a broken heart.

Dusk wanders through the chaotic Ponyville with a cotton candy cloud raining chocolate milk on his head. He is passed by a band of ballet-dancing buffalo, a googly eyed colt who floats through the air flapping his lip (http://starryoak.deviantart.com/art/Screwloose-276589390), another who runs across the top and sides of the reader’s computer screen, and a backwards rain of pies. Eris appears, laughing.

Eris: Ha, ha, ha, my sides! Dusky, Dusky! You’ve got to see what I just did!

An unfortunate pony with a giant pepper shaker over his head sneezes, and several buildings – flat as pancakes – fall to the ground.

Eris: HA! Priceless! (Dusk does not respond – Eris scoops up the cotton candy cloud and takes a bite) Oh come on, Dusky. You’ve got to get into the spirit of things. After all, this is your new home.

Dusk: (looking round at the messed-up Ponyville) No... not anymore. (walks away)

Eris: YES!!! (laughs triumphantly)

As night falls once again, Dusk enters the library and walks past Spines, who is lying on the ground.

Dusk: Pack your things, Spines, we’re leaving.

Spines groans, clutching her stomach. Dusk produces a suitcase and starts putting things in.

Dusk: And don’t ask where we’re going, ‘coz... I don’t know yet. (He drops his crown in the bin)

Spines: Can’t... move... Lord Solaris... has been sending these... since I came back upstairs. (She belches out a scroll) Make it stop!

She is lying next to a pile of scrolls, some unrolled. Dusk picks them up and examines them.

Dusk: These are all the friendship reports that I’ve sent to his highness since I started living in Ponyville, but-but why would he send them all back?

He starts to read the friendship reports.

Dusk: “Real friends don’t care what your cover is... Friendship is an awesome and powerful thing... and like the path cut through the orchard, there’ll always be a way through...” (starts to regain his colour) “... The best thing to do is stay true to yourself... Everypony has a special magical connection with his or her friends, maybe even before they’ve met them...”

Dusk now has a light purple coat, violet eyes, and a dark indigo mane with pink and purple stripes. His cutie mark consists of a magenta six pointed star surrounded by five smaller sparkles.

In short, he is back to normal. His face lights up with a massive smile.

Dusk: Spines, Spines, it’s all so clear now! Can’t you see? Eris is trying to distract us from what’s important! (picks up Spines and starts dancing happily) She knows how powerful our friendships are, and she’s trying to keep us from seeing it! (pulls Spines into a hug) Do you remember what I said the first day we came to Ponyville? I said that the future of Equestria didn’t rest on me making friends, but the complete opposite is the truth! The bonds I’ve made since arriving in Ponyville are what saved Equestria from Nightterror Nebula, and now they need to save it from Eris!

Spines: *groan*

Dusk: You’re right, Spines. I’ve gotta fight for my friendships. For them. For me! FOR EQUESTRIA!

He strikes an impressive pose, but Spines groans again, and Dusk puts her in her bed.

Dusk: Um, why don’t you just get some rest? I’ll take care of the whole fighting for friendship thing by myself.

Spines continues groaning, and belches out another friendship report as Dusk leaves.

(commercial)

Sweet Apple Acres: a dulled Grampy Smith is tap dancing. Dulled Macareina digs into the ground and pops up, dirt on her head, panting like a dog. AJ eats an apple in reverse, and throws the completed apple away.

AJ: And so Ah tried to defeat Eris, but none of mah so-called friends would lift a hoof to help me!

Dusk: (enters) Applejack, I’m here to fight for our friendship!

Macareina pops up out of the ground and licks him, panting and making Dusk blush.

AJ: (getting up) Oh, so NOW you want to fight! Where were you when Ah was battlin’ Eris?

He starts punching the air, but Dusk knocks him over and pins him.

Dusk: Snap out of it, AJ. This isn’t you. You’re not a liar!

He lowers his head and touches AJ’s forehead with his horn. Images rush past, showing AJ enjoying the company of his friends in the past: in the present, he grimaces and regains his colour.

AJ: What... what happened? (gets up, seeing Dusk) Dusk! Ah-Ah saw a vision of the six of us feudin’ and fightin’... Ah thought it was the truth, and couldn’t face it so Ah started tellin’ lies. (hides behind his hat) Ah wouldn’t blame ya if ya never forgave me.

Dusk: I already forgave you, Applejack. Now let’s move it!

Butterscotch’s cottage: Butterscotch lies on the floor, hogtied, with AJ standing on his tail so he can’t fly away. Dusk casts the memory spell and Butterscotch regains his colour, and immediately looks horrified.

Butterscotch: Oh my- Dusk! Applejack! I just had the worst dream!

Elusive’s boutique (exterior).

Elusive: What are you doing? Get away from my gem! What do you-?

The shop glows from within as Dusk casts the spell. Elusive pushes Ida outside, blushing furiously.

Elusive: (forcefully) This. Never. Happened.

Later; AJ, Butterscotch, Elusive and Dusk walk through Ponyville smiling. AJ is pulling a wagon, in which is seated a hysterical recoloured Berry.

Berry: (laughing uncontrollably) And I-I turned GREY! Can you guys believe that?! (laughs)

Blitz’s house: Butterscotch looks out of an upstairs window.

Butterscotch: He’s not here!

Dusk: Without Blitz, the Elements are useless.

AJ: And he could be anywhere in Equestria by now. How are we gonna find him?

Berry: Easy. He’s right there!

Indeed: Blitz is lying lazily on a tiny, nearby cloud. He is completely and totally grey.

Dusk: Blitz!

Greynbow Blitz: (dismissively) Hey guys.

Dusk: We’ve been looking everywhere for you.

Blitz: (still dismissive) That’s cool.

Dusk: (starting to get annoyed) Look, Eris is still on the loose, and we need the Element of Loyalty to defeat her.

Blitz: Pfft. Loyalty, schmoyalty! Have you guys seen Ponyville? It’s a disaster! I’m staying here in Cloudsdale where everything rocks!

Elusive: How in the world can he believe that tiny patch of clouds is Cloudsdale?

AJ: I dunno; how did you come up with the name Ida?

Elusive: THAT. NEVER. HAPPENED.

Dusk: Hmm... time for plan B.

Some time later: Blitz is fast asleep on his cloud. The others float up in Dusk’s hot air balloon. Dusk, Elusive and Berry are in the basket, AJ stands on top the balloon and Butterscotch flies nearby.

Dusk: (whispering) Right. Butterscotch, you grab Blitz and hold him down. Applejack will lower me down from this rope (indicates) and then I’ll cast the memory spell and Eris will be TOAST.

Berry: Mmm, toast...

Everypony else stares at him.

Berry: What?

Butterscotch: (also whispering) Received and understood, Dusk.

He flies down to Blitz and makes as if to hold him down, but pokes him awake instead.

Butterscotch: Um, I’m just wondering if you’d mind me holding you down against your will for a little while.

Dusk groans and facehooves.

Blitz: (taking to the air) Nice try, Clutterscotch! Ponyville’s YOUR problem, not mine!

He grabs the cloud and zooms away. Dusk lowers a rope down to Butterscotch.

Dusk: Come on Butterscotch, we’ve got to catch him!

Butterscotch takes the rope in his mouth and starts flying at high speed, dragging the balloon behind him. Blitz glances back, smiling, and picks up speed.

Dusk: That’s your cue, Applejack!

AJ throws a lasso around Blitz. Elusive and Berry, who had their hind legs in the coil of rope, scream as they are both dragged out of the balloon and are trailed behind the formerly rainbow-maned speedster.

Elusive: BERRY! You were supposed to secure the ROPE!

Berry: Oops, heh... (grins nervously)

Blitz loses his grip on the cloud, but keeps flying.

AJ: Elusive, Berry, hold on! Y’all are slowin’ him down!

Elusive: Oh Butterscotch, could you be a gentlecolt and FLY FASTER, please?

Butterscotch: (panting) I... I can’t...

Dusk: If we don’t catch Blitz, Eris wins!

Butterscotch: (angry) That mean... stupid... BITCH?!

He starts flying at double his previous speed – for a moment, Dusk looks like his brains are going into his feet.

Dusk: Last rope, AJ! Make it count! (throws a rope to AJ)

Applejack twirls the lasso in the air and hurls it around Blitz’s waist. Blitz struggles to remain airborne as he is slowly pulled down to the ground.

Later: Blitz is being held down by his friends (minus Dusk). He struggles and strains against the ropes binding him.

Blitz: Let me go! I don’t need you guys, let me GO!

Dusk casts the memory spell on him, and he regains his colour and immediately rubs his head.

Blitz: Ugh... what did I drink last night? (Remembers) How’s Ponyville? Where are the Elements?! (pins AJ to the ground) Did we stop Eris?

Everypony else cheers, but stop when they see a group of ballet dancing buffalo passing.

Dusk: Um, I think it’s a little early for a celebration.

Later: Eris is seated on a throne atop a blue chequered hill, surrounded by reverse rains of pies and flying pigs. She conjures a glass and holds it under a raining cotton candy cloud, and it fills up from the top downwards.

Eris: Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing. (makes to drink)

Dusk: Not quite as wonderful as friendship!

He and the others are once more wearing the Elements (with the REAL Rainbow Blitz this time) and they all look fierce.

Eris: Oh, THIS again.

She raises the glass to her lips and drinks it, and throws away the chocolate milk which explodes on contact with the ground.

AJ: Yeah! You couldn’t break apart our friendship for long!

Eris: Oh Applejack, don’t lie to me.

She drags him and the other colts towards her by their collars while Dusk watches.

Eris: (to the colts) Will you ever learn?

Dusk teleports to the centre of the circle of friends and conjures up a bubble shield around them. He floats the shield a decent distance away from Eris, who for the first time looks thoughtful, and where the shield touches the ground grass reappears. Dusk and his friends land in the circle of normality.

Dusk: I’ll tell you what we’ve learned, Eris. We’ve learned that friendship isn’t always easy, but there’s no doubt it’s worth fighting for.

Eris: Ugh, GAG! Fine, go ahead, try and use your little Elements. Friend me! (lazes on her throne) Just make it quick. I’m missing some excellent chaos here!

Dusk: Alright guys, let’s show this bitch what friendship can do!

Berry: WAIT A MINUTE!

He sits under a cotton candy cloud, drinking chocolate milk, before rejoining his friends, growling.

The Elements activate. Each one starts shooting shafts of light at Eris, who at first pretends it isn’t happening and expects it to fail, but then starts to look worried.

Eris: Huh- what?

Dusk opens his eyes, and they glow like the sun.

Eris: No.

The colts are engulfed in a globe of light, from which a glowing rainbow shoots into the sky, and it hits Eris right in the face.

Eris: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

She stares in horror as her body turns to stone, and soon an expression of horror is forever engraved on her petrified face, while the globe of light grows to cover the whole of Ponyville, and then expands outward.

When it fades, Ponyville has returned to normality. Dusk and his friends land gently on the grass as the stone Eris keels over and slams into the ground.

Later: a fanfare sounds as the doors to Canterlot Tower open and the Colts of Harmony walk down the centre, with a massive crowd of ponies on either side. They reach the end of the aisle and stop. Lord Solaris smiles and AJ winks at him. Dusk sees Spines to the side, bent over, waving and still clutching her stomach, and he smiles as well.

Solaris: We are gathered here today to once again honour the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Eris, and saved Equestria from eternal chaos.

The crowd cheers. Solaris unveils a new stained glass window, this one commemorating the six colts united in their defeat of Eris, and the friends turn to the crowd and smile as everypony applauds and cheers.

(end credits)

Episode Five: Bridle Gossip

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic rule 63 edition

EPISODE FIVE: BRIDLE GOSSIP

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters

Zircon: He’s an evil enchanter...

Applebuck: Applejack’s younger brother.

Dex, Rusty and Lyle: A trio of ridiculously dramatic stallions who run a flower shop in Ponyville.

Dusk Shine is walking through Ponyville with Spines perched on his back. They are both admiring the weather.

Dusk Shine: Well, it sure is a nice day.

Spines: Rainbow Blitz must have got up early for once and cleared out the clouds.

Dusk: I bet all of Ponyville is going to be out enjoying the sunshine. (He stops) Wh-huh? Where is everypony?

He and Spines are the only ones outside. There is a filly standing on a doorstep, but the door opens and another pony drags her inside before slamming the door. The rest of Ponyville is apparently equally empty.

Spines: Is it some kind of public holiday?

Dusk: I’m sure I would have heard of it.

Spines: Does my breath stink? (She blows green flame onto her claw and sniffs it tentatively)

Dusk: No more than usual.

Spines: (fearfully) is it... ZOMPONIES?!?

Dusk: Not likely.

Spines: Not likely... but possible!

Bubble Berry: (out of sight) Psst.

Dusk and Spines look around, confused.

Berry: (whispering very loudly) Dusk!

He appears in the open top half of Sugarcube Corner’s door.

Berry: (still whispering) Spines! Come here! (beckons, then leans out the door) Come. Here. Hurry! Before he gets you!

Dusk leaps through the door, which slams behind him, and he and Spines are left in darkness. He shields his eyes when Berry shines a torch in them, and Spines hugs him tightly and looks around fearfully.

Spines: Who? The zompony?

Berry: (shining the torch under his face) ZOMPONY?!?

Dusk: There are NO zomponies! Berry, what are you doing alone in the dark?

Berry: I’m not alone in the dark.

The room is then dimly illuminated, revealing the fearful faces of Applebuck, Applejack, Rainbow Blitz, Butterscotch and Elusive.

Dusk: (confused) Okay, then what are you all doing here in the dark?

Applejack: W-we’re hidin’ from h-him!

He points fearfully out the window at a cloaked figure which stands on the outskirts of Ponyville, pawing at the ground. The figure turns to look at the colts, eyes glowing yellow, and everypony gasps (except Dusk).

(theme song)

Applebuck: Did ya see him Dusk? Did you see... Zircon?

AJ: Applebuck! Ah told you never to say that name!

Dusk: Uh, well, I saw him glance this way-

Berry: Glance EVILLY this way!

Dusk: -and then you all flip out for no good reason!

AJ: Oh yeah? You call protectin’ yer kin no good reason? Why, as soon as mah li’l brother saw Zircon ridin’ into town, he started shakin’ in his horseshoes!

Applebuck: (being vigorously shaken by AJ) Di-i-i-id no-o-ot!

AJ: (stops shaking AB) So Ah swept him up and brought ‘im here.

Applebuck: Ah walked here mahself-

AJ: Fer safekeepin’!

Applebuck: Applejack! I’m NOT a baby! Ah can take care of mahself!

AJ: Not from that creepy Zircon you can’t.

Butterscotch: He’s mysterious...

Rainbow Blitz: Sinister...

Berry: And SPOOOOOOKY!

Dusk rolls his eyes and looks out the window and everypony else piles up on top of him, causing him to groan, clearly annoyed. They watch Zircon take down his hood, revealing a striped head and mohawk, and everypony except Dusk gasps in horror.

Dusk: Will you guys STOP that?!

Elusive: Just look at those stripes; so gaudy.

Dusk: He’s a zebra.

Everypony else: A WHAT?!

Dusk: A zebra, and his stripes aren’t a fashion statement, Elusive. He was born with them. (Spines sneaks into the kitchen)

Elusive: Oh, goodness. (Faints dramatically)

AJ: Born where? Ah ain’t never seen anypony like that ‘round these parts except him!

Dusk: Well, chances are he’s not from around here. (outside Zircon keeps pawing at the ground) My books say that zebras come from someplace far away. But I’ve never seen him in Ponyville before. Where does he live?

AJ: That’s just it. He lives in... the Everfree Forest!

There is a crashing sound akin to thunder, but it is actually Spines dropping an assortment of pots and pans in the kitchen.

Dusk: Spines!

Spines: Sorry, Dusk!

AJ: The Everfree Forest just ain't natural. The plants grow...

Butterscotch: Animals care for themselves...

Blitz: And the clouds move-

AJ/Butterscotch/Blitz: All on their own!

Elusive: Oh, goodness! (Faints dramatically... again)

Berry: And that wicked enchanter Zircon lives there doing his evil... stuff! He’s so evil, I even wrote a song about him!

Blitz: Here we go...

Berry proceeds to jump around Sugarcube Corner singing crazily.

Berry: (singing) He’s an evil enchanter, who speaks evil banter, and if you look deep in his eyes you’ll feel like you’re hammered, and what will he do, he’ll mix up an evil brew and he’ll gobble you up in a big tasty stew sooo... WATCH OUT!

He stands on a table on his hind legs, forelegs in the air, panting heavily with a crazed look in his eye. Everypony else just stares at him.

Dusk: (sarcastically) Wow. Catchy.

Berry: (gets down) It’s a work in progress.

Dusk: Look, this is all just a load of chitchat and rumours. Now tell me; what exactly is it that Zircon does that’s so evil?

Blitz: Uh... well, once a month, he comes into Ponyville.

Dusk: (dramatically) Oooh!

Elusive: Then, he lurks by the stores.

Dusk: (still being dramatic) Oh my!

Butterscotch: And then, he digs at the ground.

Dusk: (as dramatic as possible) Sweet Solaris’ beard! (normal) Okay, I’m sorry, but how exactly is any of this bad? Maybe he just comes into town to visit, did you think of that?

Applebuck: Yeah! Maybe he’s just being neighbourly.

Dusk: And maybe he’s not lurking by the stores, maybe he’s just, well, going to them! Lurk free.

Applebuck: Yeah. Everypony likes to shop. You know what I think-

AJ: APPLEBUCK! Hush and let the big ponies talk!

Applebuck: (quietly) Ah am a big pony!

Blitz: But what about digging at the ground? You gotta admit that’s weird.

Berry starts re-singing Evil Enchanter in the background.

Butterscotch: What if he’s digging for innocent little creatures?

Dusk: I’m fairly sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything Zircon does, and if any of you had the guts to approach him you’d find out what it was!

Applebuck: (to himself) Well, Ah’ve got the guts. Ah’m gonna find out mahself.

He sneaks out of Sugarcube Corner and into the street. Zircon glances round, and Applebuck hides behind a stall. Nopony else has noticed him leaving.

Dusk: Now you guys are just being stupid.

Berry: Well, I heard Zircon eats hay!

Dusk: See what I mean, Berry? I eat hay! YOU eat hay!

Berry: Well-well I heard it’s the EVIL way he eats hay!

AJ: Hey! Where’s Applebuck?

Butterscotch: (pointing) The door’s open.

Elusive: He must have gone outside.

Blitz: And Zircon’s still out there!

AJ: That silly colt! Ah told him to stay put!

Everypony runs after Applebuck except for Dusk and Spines, who still has a saucepan on her head.

Dusk: Spines, you stay here in case Applebuck comes back.

Spines: (saluting) Will do!

Meanwhile, Zircon has entered the shady undergrowth of the Everfree Forest. Applebuck pauses on the edge, looking as if he’s having second thoughts, before drawing himself up to his full height and following Zircon into the trees. He is standing in a clearing, in a space surrounded by blue flowers, when-

AJ: Applebuck?

Applebuck: Uh-oh.

AJ: You git back here right now!

Zircon: (turns around) Beware, beware you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke.

AJ: (picks up Applebuck on top of his head) You-you just keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yerself, ya hear?

Elusive/Butterscotch/Blitz: (talk over each other against Zircon while Berry re-recites Evil Enchanter)

Dusk: Gimme a break.

Zircon: Beware! Beware! (disappears into the mist)

Blitz: (stomping his hooves in the blue flowers) Yeah, right back at you, Zircon! You are your... lame curse are the ones who’d better beware!

AJ: (to Applebuck) And you. Why couldn’t you just listen to yer big brother?

Applebuck: I-

AJ: Who knows what kinda nasty curse Zircon coulda hit ya with?

Berry: Just like in my song! (jumps around in the flowers) Evil enchanter, with the banter, getting hammered-

Dusk: Am I speaking in Inponesian or something? How many times do I have to say it? There’s no. Such thing. As curses!

Blitz flies low to the ground (through the flowers)

Blitz: That’s interesting to hear coming from Mr Magic Pants himself. (taps Dusk’s horn)

Dusk: My magic, REAL magic, comes from within. It’s what every unicorn is born with. Curses are artificial and fake; it’s conjured with potions and incantations. It’s all smoke and mirrors to scare ponies. But curses have no real power: they’re just an old pony tale!

Everypony starts to walk away, but AJ pauses.

AJ: Just you wait, Dusk. You’re gonna learn some pony tales really are true.

That night: Dusk is asleep in bed, tossing and turning in an extremely weird dream involving his friends and Zircon.

Dream Berry: He’s an evil enchanter, who speaks evil banter...

Dream Zircon: Beware! Beware!

Dream Berry: If you look deep in his eyes, you’ll feel like you’re hammered...

Dream Blitz: Yeah, was that supposed to scare us?

Dream Elusive: Wicked, wicked zebra!

Dream Butterscotch: ...a curse!

Dream Berry: Then what will he do?

Dream AJ: Just you wait, Dusk. Some pony tales really are true.

Dream Berry: Then he’ll gobble you up in a big tasty stew sooo WATCH OUT!

Dream Zircon: (laughs evilly)

Morning: Dusk groggily wakes up. His hair is such a mess that it completely hides his horn.

Dusk: Oh man, what a bizarre dream. Curses schmurses.

He gets out of bed and sees his mane in the mirror.

Dusk: Blimey! Heh, maybe Zircon cursed my hair! (He chuckles as he combs his hair into submission... and then he sees that his horn has become floppy and useless, and covered in blue blotches) EEK! Or he cursed my horn!

(commercial)

Dusk and Spines are searching through books in the library – Dusk considerably more desperate than Spines.

Dusk: No, no, no, no, no! None of these books have any kind of cure! Ugh, there’s got to be a reasonable explanation for this! An illness? An allergy, maybe!

Spines: A curse?

Dusk: (facehooves) I said a REASONABLE explanation. Something that points to something – you know – real?

Spines: Well, how about this one? (holds up a book – Dusk eyes the title incredulously)

Dusk: “Supernaturals”? Spines, the word supernatural refers to stuff like zombies and ghosts and spirits and stuff, which are equally as make-believe as curses. This book is just a bunch of hogwash!

Spines: But what if you’re wrong Dusk? What if this really is a-

Berry: A pfurth!

Berry’s tongue is massively swollen and covered in blue blotches. He cannot talk without liberal showers of saliva.

Spines: A purse? How could it be a purse?

Dusk: What the hay-Berry, what happened?

Berry: If wath Thircom! He puth a pfurth om me!

Spines: (shielding herself) Say it, don’t spray it, Berry!

Blitz bangs against the wall outside, trying to steer himself into the library.

Blitz: Ow-He’s trying to- Trying to say –ow! Zircon-dammit!-slapped us all with a- (he crashes through the door and tangles himself in a ladder) a curse! (His wings have moved from his back to his stomach, and have turned upside down)

Elusive: I’m afraid I have to agree.

Dusk and Spines gasp in shock: Elusive is missing every single hair on his body. He is completely and totally bald, and his cutie mark is hidden behind three ugly blue blotches on either side.

AJ: (high pitched voice) Ah hate to say Ah told ya so, Dusk, but Ah told ya so!

Dusk and Spines gasp in shock again: AJ is three inches high and standing on Applebuck’s back.

AJ: It’s a curse, Ah tells ya! (jumps onto a table)

Dusk: But-but Butterscotch seems just fine! (Butterscotch cowers slightly at the mention of his name)

Elusive: (suspicious) Yes, there doesn’t seem to be a thing wrong with him.

Dusk: Butterscotch, are you alright?

Butterscotch shakes his head.

Dusk: Is there something wrong with you?

Butterscotch nods nervously.

Dusk: Would you care to enlighten us?

Butterscotch shakes his head.

Dusk: So... you aren’t gonna tell us?

Butterscotch nods.

Dusk: Yes you will, or yes you won’t?

AJ: Holy horseapples pal! What the hay’s wrong with you?

Butterscotch: (very feminine, opera singer type voice) I don’t wanna talk about it.

There is an awkward pause, during which Spines bursts out laughing.

Spines: This is just hilarious! Look at you all! (gestures to each of the colts in turn) We’ve got-we’ve got Elushave, Rainbow Ditz, Spittle Berry, Appletini, Babescotch and – um... I got nothin’. I mean, Dusk Shine, come on; I can’t even work with that!

Dusk: This is no time for joking around, Spines. Now start looking for more books so I can find a cure!

Spines groans and resumes her search. Blitz detaches himself from the ladder and starts hovering clumsily.

Blitz: I think we’ll find the cure to this curse at Zircon’s place. (crashes again)

Dusk: It’s not a curse!

AJ: Ah agree with Blitz! We’ll go to Zircon and force him to remove this hex!

Dusk: IT’S NOT A HEX EITHER!

Everypony shouts at once except Applebuck and Spines. Applebuck bows his head guiltily.

Applebuck: This is all mah fault. If Ah hadn’t followed Zircon, none of this woulda happened. Ah just gotta fix this. (starts to leave)

AJ: (whispers) Now where does he think he’s goin’ this time?

He jumps into Applebuck’s tail as he departs. Nopony else sees them leave.

Blitz: I don’t care what you say, Dusk! It’s time to stallion up and confront Zircon! You with me guys?

Berry: I ampth!

Elusive: And I as well.

Butterscotch: Well, I dunno. It sounds kinda dangerous.

Spines: *giggles*

Blitz: What about you, Applejack? (pause) Applejack?!

Berry: Heath gomme!

Elusive: Or somepony stood on him!

Everypony nervously checks their hooves.

Dusk: Or sat on him!

Everypony tries to look at their behinds.

Blitz: Berry’s tail!

Berry: (as Dusk checks his tail) Duthp, whath’re you-

Dusk: Applebuck’s gone too!

Blitz: What d’you wanna bet they went after Zircon?

Dusk: Well, they aren’t gonna go after themselves. Come on guys, let’s move.

Elusive: This is highly irregular- WHOA! (slips and falls flat on his face)

Blitz: (faceplants and can’t get up) Little help here?

Butterscotch: (as he and Berry help Blitz into the air) Whoops, sorry.

Blitz takes off and promptly zooms into the wall above the door.

Butterscotch: Uh, Spines? Are you coming?

Spines: Nah, I might stay here and look for a cure. (When everypony else has gone) *gasp* Droop Shine!

Later: Applebuck is working his way through the Everfree Forest in search of Zircon, and suddenly-

AJ: Hold it right there, mister!

AJ emerges from his brother's tail.

AJ: Turn around right now!

Applebuck: (smiling smugly) No.

AJ: What did you just say?! You can’t ignore a direct order from your big brother!

Applebuck deposits his “big” brother on a nearby tree branch, with no way down.

Applebuck: Sorry AJ, but Ah’m the big brother now. (Leaves)

AJ: Applebuck, get back here this instant! I’M GONNA TELL MACAREINA ON YOU!! (pause, no response) Oh, ponyfeathers.

Elsewhere, Dusk and everypony else are making their way through the forest, Blitz flying clumsily overhead and Elusive slipping and falling every few steps.

Dusk: Get a move on, guys! We’ve got to get to Zircon’s place ASAP!

Elusive: Whoa- (he lands face first in mud) Easier said than done!

Blitz: Wait for me! WHA-

He crashes noisily into a tree. As he lies on the ground, his cheeks bulge and AJ pops out of his mouth.

AJ: Blitz! Thank Solaris. There’s no time to lose! (He makes a makeshift bridle out of some vines, a couple of leaves and a twig, and shoves it into Blitz’s mouth. Blitz mumbles incoherently) Ah’ve got to get to Zircon’s, pronto! (climbs onto Blitz’s stomach) Giddy up pony!

Blitz: Ex-CUSE me?

AJ: YEE-HAW!

He stamps on Blitz’s chest, and the hapless pegasus seems to hover in a more stable fashion, albeit upside down. He tries to turn over and almost falls out of the sky.

Blitz: What the- AH!

AJ: No Rainbow Blitz, other way!

Meanwhile, the other colts have arrived at Zircon’s hut. Elusive cannot see as his eyes are covered in mud and leaves.

Elusive: Oh, sweet Solaris, I look horrible!

Berry: (wiping the gunk off Elusive’s face) Mo, PFIFF lookf horribmle!

Elusive: (sees the hut) Oh good heavens, that place does look horrible.

He, Berry, Butterscotch and Dusk crowd around a window and examine the interior of the hut, which is decorated with frightening masks and other strange foreign looking things, with a bubbling cauldron of green stuff in the centre of the room.

Elusive: Nice decorations, if you like creepy!

At that moment, Zircon enters the hut, no longer wearing his creepy cloak. He tips a pot of some kind of powder into the cauldron.

Zircon: (speaking in another language) Monhapete, malee halem mue...

Berry: He thdole me fthong! He thdole im!

Elusive: What? Stole your song, you say?

Dusk: Berry, that sounds nothing like your song.

Berry seems about to re-perform his song, but realises that he can’t due to his swollen tongue. He approaches Butterscotch, who at first appears unwilling, but Berry gives him puppy dog eyes and Butterscotch sighs, frustrated. Berry then re-enacts the dance he did earlier while Butterscotch sings the song (and seems to do it a lot better than Berry, even if it sounds like an opera).

Butterscotch: He’s an evil enchanter and he speaks evil banter, and if you look deep in his eyes, you’ll feel like you’re hammered, and what will he do? He’ll mix up an evil brew, and he’ll gobble you up in a big tasty stew, sooo... watch out.

There is a pause as this unorthodox performance sinks in.

Elusive: (to Dusk) You saw all that creepy stuff. Now do you believe us?

Dusk: (looks through the window again) Psychedelic masks, weird incantations and a great big bubbling cauldron? Ugh, everything really is pointing to Zircon being... bad! (Brightens up) Or... what if he’s just making soup?

Zircon gives the “soup” a taste.

Zircon: Hmm, the perfect temperature for ponies, with luck. Now, where is that little Applebuck?

Dusk: (face falls) or... what if he’s making Applebuck soup?

(commercial)

Dusk: What if he’s making Applebuck soup?

Berry/Elusive/Butterscotch: *screams*

Blitz: WHA!!!

AJ: Ah’m comin’ for yer, Applebuck!

Blitz crashes wildly through Zircon’s front door.

Zircon: Monetewe towombah!

AJ: Whoa! Easy, Rainbow Ditz!

Blitz: AAAAARRRGH!

Zircon: Oh! Malleh!

Dusk: (enters the hut with Berry, Butterscotch and Elusive flanking him) What have you done with Applebuck?

Zircon: No! No! Malleh, malleh!

AJ leaps off Blitz and starts wrestling the zebra’s ear. Blitz screams again and continues inadvertently destroying the interior of the hut.

Zircon: Ponies, what is this you-?

Blitz screams one final time and crashes into the ground, causing the cauldron to spill everywhere.

Zircon: No! No, you know not what you do! You’ve gone and spilled my precious brew!

Dusk: We’re onto you, Zircon. I didn’t want to believe you cursed us, but I’m afraid the evidence is overwhelming!

Elusive: You made me look ridiculous!

Butterscotch: You made me sound ridiculous!

Berry: You mame me spleef ble bleff be blemp!

Dusk: You ruined my horn!

Zircon: How DARE you! You destroy my home, destroy my work, and then accuse ME of being a jerk?

Blitz: We know you put this curse on us. Now, you’re gonna un-curse us!

Zircon steps forward in a rather intimidating fashion, and the colts step back in fear.

Zircon: It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode.

Dusk: (stepping forward) Where. Is. Applebuck?

Tension builds and it looks like the entire hut is going to descend into a gigantic brawl, when a certain foal arrives at the door with a saddlebag.

Applebuck: Mr Zircon? Ah think Ah found all that stuff you asked for- (sees the scene) What in Ponyville is goin’ on in here?

AJ: Applebuck! Yer okay!

Applebuck: Uh, why wouldn’t Ah be?

Dusk: (leaps between Applebuck and Zircon in a defensive fashion) Because Zircon is an evil enchanter who cursed us all and was going to cook you up into soup!

Awkward pause. Then Applebuck and Zircon start laughing.

Applebuck: Oh Dusk. Did those dumb stories finally get to you? You know there’s no such thing as a curse!

Dusk looks around at his friends, and then eyes his own floppy horn.

Dusk: Um... look kid, you can’t just stand there and say this isn’t a curse.

Applebuck: This isn’t a curse.

Zircon: If you would remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact... (flashback to earlier) Beware! Beware you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke.

Applebuck: It was a warning about that blue plant. It’s called poison joke.

Zircon: That plant is much like poison oak, but its results are like a joke!

AJ: Come again?

Zircon: It means this plant does not wreak wrath; instead this plant just wants a laugh!

AJ: ...Can somepony please talk normal?

Dusk: I think he means that when we all went after Applebuck, we ran into the poison joke, and all our problems are just little jokes it played on us!

AJ: Little jokes? Ha-de-ha-ha-ha.

Blitz: Sure, whatever, but what was the deal with the cauldron?

Butterscotch: And that chanting?

Elusive: And all the creepy decor?

Zircon: (looks proudly at his masks) Treasures of the native land I am from. This one speaks ‘hello’ and this one, ‘welcome’.

Elusive: (eyeing the masks) Not welcoming at all if you ask me.

Zircon: The words I chanted are from olden times. Something you call a nursery rhyme.

Dusk: But the cauldron... the Applebuck soup?

Applebuck: (points at an open book) Lookie here, Dusk. That pot of water wasn’t meant for me, it was for all these herbal ingredients. The cure for poison joke is a simple all-natural remedy. You just gotta take a bubble bath!

Dusk: But I ransacked the whole library and couldn’t find anything. Which book has this miracle remedy?

Zircon closes the book, revealing it to be the ‘Supernaturals’ book Dusk had rejected earlier.

Zircon: Here is the book, you see? Sad that you lack it in your library.

Dusk: (guilty) Um, well, actually I do have this book, but I didn’t look past the title because it was so... weird. (Reads the cover) “Supernaturals – Natural remedies and cure-alls that are simply... super”. I... I don’t know what to say. I feel so stupid: I had the answer the whole damn time!

Zircon: (smiles) Maybe next time, you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of a book.

Applebuck: (laughs)

Dusk: Zircon, would you be willing to mix up another batch of this herbal stuff?

Zircon: Mix it up, I certainly will. Yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville.

Applebuck: But whenever he goes into town all the shops are mysteriously closed.

Dusk: I think we can help you with that.

Later: they are all walking into town, when the workers at the local flower shop see them.

Dex: (dramatically) Hey Rusty, check that out!

Rusty: (also dramatically) The wicked enchanter has cursed them all!

Lyle: (most dramatic of all) The horror! THE HORROR!

Everypony runs inside and hides – the streets of Ponyville are soon deserted. Dusk knocks on the door of the flower shop, which opens just a crack.

Dusk: Dex, we need to talk.

Later, the colts are all sitting in a hot tub in the local spa as Zircon and Applebuck pour more herbs into the water. Elusive has regained all his hair; Berry’s tongue deflates and Dusk’s horn resolidifies (GET THOSE DIRTY THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW).

Dusk: (voice over) Dear Lord Solaris; My friends and I all learned an important lesson this week: never judge a book by its cover. Someone might look unusual or funny or scary, but you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don’t care what your cover is – it’s the contents of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever. Your loyal student, Dusk Shine.

Spa worker: Mr Zircon, I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It is simply luxurious!

Applebuck: Applejack! Hey, where’s Applejack?

Everypony gasps and screams in horror as they desperately search the hot tub for AJ, who is seated in a tiny bath of his own down below them.

AJ: (voice and size back to normal) Ah’m right here, LITTLE bro. Ah ain’t tiny no more!

Elusive: Egad, I’ve never felt so clean-

Berry: (resurfacing) Holy moley! I never ever realised how awful it was to not be able to talk! (Blitz covers his ears and groans) I mean, I LOVE talking but then I couldn’t talk because my tongue was all “ehhhh” (tongue lolls out). Don’t you agree, Butterscotch?

Butterscotch: (normal voice) Yes.

Everypony laughs, and Berry eyes the reader suspiciously.

(end credits)

Episode Six: Lesson Zero

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic rule 63 edition

EPISODE SIX: LESSON ZERO

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters:

Lord Solaris: Ruler of Equestria and Dusk Shine’s mentor.

Mr Cake: Co-proprietor of Sugarcube Corner.

Macareina: Applejack’s older sister, who rarely says anything other than “Eeyup.”

Mayor of Ponyville: ‘Nuff said.

Applebuck: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Applejack’s younger brother.

Sweepy Bell: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Elusive’s younger brother.

Scooteroll: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

It is early morning – the sun is just rising. Dusk Shine and Spines are already up, and apparently have been for a while. Dusk is reciting a list of items which he positions neatly on a desk while Spines checks them off on a checklist.

Dusk Shine: Quill.

Spines: (as it floats past) Check.

Dusk: Parchment.

Spines: (as that drifts by) Check.

Dusk: Extra ink?

Spines: Check!

Dusk: Extra extra ink?

Spines: (slightly baffled) Check.

Dusk: That’s everything on the checklist, right?

Spines: You bet!

Dusk: Excellent. Now that we’ve completed the checklist of things we need to make a checklist, we can make our checklist of stuff we have to get done by the end of the day.

Spines: Right! (Quill at the ready)

Dusk: Item one: create checklist of stuff we have to get done by the end of the day.

Spines groans and slams her face into the ground in frustration.

(theme song)

Later: Dusk is leading Spines through Ponyville. Spines is holding a checklist which trails on the ground behind her for at least three feet.

Dusk: How’re we doing, Spines?

Spines: Let’s see... (looks at the checklist) we’ve already dropped off your cape at the cleaners, returned the blackboard you borrowed from Cherry Lee, ordered new parchment and quills from the stationary shop...

Dusk: Huh. You know, it seems like we placed an order a few days ago.

Spines: (looks back at the trailing checklist) Can’t imagine how you go through so many of ‘em.

Dusk: (smiling) Sounds like we’re ahead of schedule. What’s next?

Spines examines the checklist once more.

Spines: Cupcakes!

At Sugarcube Corner, Dusk takes the top off a box of cupcakes and examines the contents critically while Spines drools.

Dusk: Um, I only ordered twelve.

Mr Cake: (taking pastries in and out of the shop) I know that sonny, but I had an extra so I thought I’d make it a baker’s dozen.

Dusk: (pushes Spines out of the way) Well, that was very kind of you, but some of the icing from the extra cupcake is getting all over the one next to it. See?

Mr Cake: (examining the cupcakes) Oh... sure.

Dusk: It’s just that I’m planning on sharing these at a picnic later, and I don’t want anypony to feel like somepony else is getting more icing than them.

Mr Cake: (uncertain) Oh, of course not!

Dusk levitates a spatula over from beside the sink and starts rearranging the icing.

Dusk: Not to worry. I’ll just move some off this one to... (moves icing) Hmm, I think I might’ve scooped too much. Ugh, now those two have more! Let’s just try this again. (He starts frantically rearranging the icing, spraying it everywhere) Hmm, no, that won’t do, let me just put some here and – no, that’s not right. A little more on this one, (starts to look a bit crazy) a little bit – wait, I’ll just... a little bit here, and here, and... Perfect!

The cupcakes are now almost devoid of icing, save for a tiny spot in the centre of each one.

Mr Cake: (nods nervously, causing icing to slide off his nose) Hmm, oh yes, much better.

Dusk: (picks up the box) Righto, let’s tackle the next item on our – oh! Ha! (he has seen Spines covered in icing) Looks like we might have to add “give a baby dragon a bath” to our list.

Spines’ tongue pops out of her mouth and drapes around her body. She spins around in a whirlwind, licking off all the icing in the process, which she swallows upon finishing.

Dusk: (leaving with Spines on his back) Very efficient! And a little bit gross.

Spines: Oh well.

Later: Dusk and Spines have returned to the library.

Spines: Looks like that’s everything!

Dusk: Almost everything.

Spines: (looking at the checklist confusedly) Triple check checklist to make sure we didn’t miss anything when we... double checked the checklist? Um, check. (lowers the quill) Ugh, I’ve been holding that quill so long; I’ve got a claw cramp! (starts bandaging her claw) Good thing we don’t have anything to report to Lord Solaris this week. I don’t think I could write another word!

Dusk: (looks utterly frantic) We haven’t sent a letter to Lord Solaris this week?

Spines: Why, is that bad?

Dusk: Bad? BAD?! ‘Course it’s BAD!! I’m supposed to send Lord Solaris a letter every week telling him about a lesson I’ve learned about friendship! Not every other week, not every ten days, EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK!

Spines: Huh?

Dusk starts ransacking the library.

Dusk: Where’s my calendar? WHERE’S MY CALENDAR?

Spines: (takes out the calendar) Where it... always is?

Dusk grabs the calendar and rushes it over to a nearby lectern.

Dusk: When did we send the last one?

Spines: Last... Tuesday?

Dusk: And today is...? (looks at calendar)

Spines: Tuesday?

Dusk: AHH! Nonononononononono! (He runs over to a window and looks out with a panicky face at the moving sun) If I don’t send him a letter by sundown I’ll be... TARDY!

Spines: What’s that now?

Dusk: Tardy, Spines! Late, I’ll be late! (falls onto his bed) Ugh, how could I have slipped so LOW?! I’m usually so organised: I’ve NEVER been late for an assignment! (pulls a bed cover over his head)

Spines: Oh please! You’re the most studious student ever! (pulls the cover off) I’m sure his majesty will forgive you if you miss one little deadline.

Dusk: I’m afraid to take that chance, Spines. I mean, this is the ruler of all of Equestria we’re talking about; the stallion that holds my fate in his hooves! (His expression descends into outright panic) What if he doesn’t forgive me?

Spines: Yeah, I don’t think he’ll-

Dusk: What if instead he thinks I’m not taking my studies on friendship seriously?

Spines: Why would he-

Dusk: What if he makes me come back to Canterlot and makes me PROVE I’ve been taking them seriously by giving me a test? What if I don’t pass?!

Spines: Why wouldn’t you pa-

Dusk: HE’S MY TEACHER. Do you KNOW what teachers do to students who don’t pass? (pause) They send them back a grade! But he won’t just send me back a grade; he’ll send me back to... MAGIC KINDERGARTEN.

He imagines himself seated at a tiny desk at the back of a classroom, filled with foals that are all laughing at his misfortune... until Spines rolls it up like a blind and reveals Dusk seated in the centre of the room, eyes closed and shivering in fear.

Spines: Dusk... DUSK! (Dusk opens his eyes) That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! You’re not going to be sent back to magic kindergarten!

Dusk: (pause) *sigh* You’re right; I have no reason to worry. (Spines smiles) Because I’m going to solve a friend’s problem and get that letter to Lord Solaris before sundown.

Spines groans in frustration.

Dusk: Sooo... got any problems, troubles, conundrums or any other sort of issues major or minor that I as a GOOD friend could help you solve? (grins expectantly)

Spines: Huh, er, erm, hmm... I got nothin’.

Dusk: *sigh* Then it looks like I’m just gonna have to find somepony who does. (leaves)

Spines: Ugh, this will all end in tears.

(commercial)

Dusk: You’ve got this, Dusk Shine. You still have plenty of time to get that letter to Lord Solaris. There has to be somepony around here who needs the help of a good friend.

Off screen, Elusive gives a loud scream.

Dusk: Elusive!

Elusive screams again. Dusk hurries over to the Carousel Boutique and thrusts the door open.

Dusk: Not to worry, Elusive! I’m here!

Elusive is lying on the ground, crying.

Elusive: Why me-e-e-e-e? Whyyyy? Why, WHY?!? Of all the worst things that could happen, this is The. Worst. Possible. THING!!

Dusk: (approaches Elusive) What’s wrong? Are you alright?

Elusive: I’VE LOST MY DIAMOND ENCRUSTED PURPLE RIBBON!! I have searched HIGH (motions) and I have searched low (motions). LOW AND HIGH, high and low, (dejected face) but I can’t find it anywhere! (He summons himself a couch and throws himself onto it dramatically) ANYWHERE-E-E-E!!

Dusk looks at the crying Elusive and rubs his front hooves together with a delighted grin (which would look extremely questionable out of context).

Elusive: How can I possibly finish my latest creation if I CAN’T FIND IT?!?

Dusk: Never fear, Elusive! As your friend, I’ll do my best to help you fi-

Elusive: (brightens up instantly) Oh, there it is! (gets off the couch and picks up the ribbon) Isn’t it always just the last place you look?

There is an awkward pause – awkward for Dusk, anyway.

Dusk: So... you... just lost your ribbon?

Elusive: Uh-huh.

Dusk: But... now you’ve found it.

Elusive: Yeah.

Dusk: And nothing else is bothering you? Nothing that I as a good friend can help you with? (waits expectantly)

Elusive: Well, there is one thing.

Dusk: (excitedly) YES?!

Elusive: I think I left my measuring tape under the fabric over there; could you get it for me?

Dusk: (disappointed) *sigh* Measuring tape. Sure.

Elusive: Dusk? Is there something bother- Dusk?

Dusk is gone.

Later: he is walking down the road, heading in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

Dusk: No need to panic. Elusive’s just one pony. I’m sure one of my other friends will need me, right?

Rainbow Blitz: HIIIIYAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

He crashes through one wall of an old barn and smashes out the other side, then shakes himself free of debris and continues to ruthlessly attack the structure. Applejack, wearing a helmet, covers his head and lies on the ground in a ditch. Blitz kicks, punches and even bites the woodwork inside the barn, and throws a piece out of a window, where it almost hits Dusk.

Dusk: What in the hay... (sees Blitz waging war on the barn) Rainbow Blitz must be angry with Applejack! He must hate his guts. Excellent!

Blitz makes another dive at the barn, but-

Dusk: Blitz! Stop!

He telekinetically grabs Blitz’s tail and holds him still: Blitz dangles limply by his own tail.

Dusk: Listen, Blitz. I know you’re upset with Applejack, but don’t worry; whatever it is that has come between you, I’m sure that I as a good friend can help you resolve your problems. (He releases Blitz, who drops to the ground)

Blitz: You- what?

Dusk: Oh Rainbow Blitz, you don’t have to hide your feelings from me! I can tell you two must have had an awful argument!

An indeterminable amount of time later, Dusk has Blitz lying on a bench; Dusk himself is wearing a pair of glasses and telekinetically holding a notebook and pencil.

Dusk: (taps Blitz on the head) Now, why don’t you tell me all about your issues with Applejack?

Blitz: (confused) I don’t have any issues with Applejack.

Dusk: (also confused) You don’t? But... why the hay are you destroying his property?

Blitz: Because he asked me to. Right Applejack?

Applejack: (sits up in the ditch and removes his helmet) Yessir. Ah wanted to put up a new barn, but this one’s gotta come down first. Now get back to it, RB!

Blitz: You got it, boss! (dives into the air)

AJ: (to Dusk) Ah’d take cover if Ah were you.

At a bafflingly huge height, Blitz stops and hovers in midair. Dusk screams and dives into the ditch...

...just as Blitz lets out one final scream of rage and smashes into the barn with such speed and force that he creates not only a sonic rainboom, but also a GIGANTIC rainbow coloured mushroom cloud. Debris flies everywhere, and piles up on top of AJ and Dusk. AJ get out and leaps up joyfully, but when Dusk extracts himself from the rubble his mane is a mess and he looks more dejected than ever.

Later: Dusk is walking down the road once again.

Dusk: Well, I can’t believe I wasted so much time. I should’ve just come here first! Butterscotch always has some fear he’s trying to get over. As his friend, I’ll be able to help him.

He rounds the corner of Butterscotch’s cottage and sees-

Dusk: BUTTERSCOTCH?!

-who is facing a gigantic bear which roars in his face. Butterscotch darts between its legs and kicks it in the back, sending it to the floor, and he leaps onto its back and starts pulling on its leg. The bear thumps the ground, tears streaming down its face, until Butterscotch drags it up and snaps its neck. The bear falls limply to the floor.

Dusk: (horrified) How could this be happening? Of all the days he could have picked to stop being such a scaredy pony he had to pick today! What am I going to DO?!

As he leaves, Butterscotch starts massaging the bear’s back.

Butterscotch: You really should have come to me sooner. You were carrying so much tension in that shoulder.

The bear gives a happy, satisfied moan.

Later, Dusk is lying on a park bench, smiling to himself and stroking his tail.

Dusk: It’s fine! It’ll all be fine! The day isn’t over yet. (sits up and looks at the sun) But it will be over soon! (He moans again and collapses onto the bench, teardrops dripping into a small puddle) It’ll be all over! My time in Ponyville, my advanced studies... (to his reflection) Nono, you’re a good student, you can do this! (punches the air)

Reflection: Awww, but what if I can’t?

Dusk: (to his reflection) You CAN!! You just have to keep it together! (his reflection looks scared) KEEP. IT. TOGETHER!

Spines: (holding the box of cupcakes from earlier) Are you talking to... yourself? (waves a claw in front of his eyes) Dusk?

Dusk sits up, ears twitching, and stares at the silhouettes of three laughing fillies, and hallucinates them laughing at him. Spines pops the hallucination and Dusk falls to the ground.

Spines: SNAP OUT OF IT!!!

Dusk: (shakes his head) Huh?

Spines: Are you okay?

They look over at the laughing fillies, who are actually just having fun skipping rope.

Spines: Look, Dusk, I’m really worried. I mean, this letter thing is really getting to you! Here, (gives Dusk the box) you’ve been so anxious today that you completely forgot about the picnic! Why don’t you just relax and go hang out with-

Dusk: (manic) THE PICNIC! I should go see my friends!

Spines: (as Dusk leaves with the cupcakes) I’m glad you came round.

Later; Bubble Berry hops towards where Blitz, AJ and Butterscotch are setting up the picnic. He is holding a basket, and when he sets it down he pulls the blanket off the top and the basket drifts away, pulled by balloons tied to the handle. Elusive is busy searching through another basket.

Elusive: Puh-LEASE tell me I did not forget the plates! (gets up) *gasp* I did! I totally forgot them! Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!! (summons his fainting couch and leaps onto it, sobbing) Why-y-y-y? Why? WHY?!

Everypony else just stares – even Berry.

Elusive: What? You wanted me to lie on the grass?

Blitz lowers his (bloody awesome) sunglasses and lazes back on the picnic blanket. Dusk drops the cupcake box next to his head and grins at them all manically.

AJ: You alright, mate?

Dusk: NO!! I am not alright! ( :( )

Everybrony else: *various shocked exclamations*

Dusk: It’s just terrible.

Everybrony else: Yes?

Dusk: Simply awful!

Everybrony else: Yes?

Dusk: It’s the most horrific trouble I’ve EVER been in and I really, really, REALLY need your help!

Elusive: Get on with it!

Blitz: Yes, get on with it!

Butterscotch/AJ/Bubble Berry: YES, GET ON WITH IT!

Dusk: My letter to Lord Solaris is almost overdue, and I haven’t learned a single bucking thing about friendship!

Everybrony else: Phew!

Butterscotch: Oh thank goodness, for a moment I thought something really awful had happened.

Dusk: (teleports next to Butterscotch) Something awful HAS happened! (teleports again) If I don’t get him the letter on time, I’ll be tardy! (teleports again) TARDY!!!

Everybrony else: *laughing*

AJ: No offence haystack, but it looks like somepony’s gettin’ himself all worked up over nothin’.

Dusk: This. Is not nothing. This. Is. EVERYTHING. I need you guys to help me find somepony with a problem I can fix before sundown! MY WHOLE LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! (pants)

Berry: Oh Dusk, you are a riot! (falls back laughing)

Dusk: (growls in frustration)

AJ: C’mon now. Have a seat and stop sweatin’ the small stuff.

Dusk groans and growls in anger twice and then teleports away.

Butterscotch: Wow. I’ve never seen anypony so worked up.

Elusive: What a drama queen! (everypony else stares) Relatively... speaking...

(commercial)

Dusk is sitting in his room staring out the window. When he turns around it is clear that he is beyond insanity and has descended into full Cupcakes mode.

Dusk: Clock is ticking, Dusk Shine. Clock. Is. TICKING! (starts pacing) Keep it together. If I can’t find a friendship problem... I’ll MAKE a friendship problem!

He rubs his hooves together in glee as behind him a chest of his belongings cracks open.

Later: a bird lands in its nest, only to be lifted up by an insane looking Dusk (somepony get this guy a straightjacket):

Image by JaquelinAmyRose

Dusk: Hehhehehheheheheehehehehehheheheheehehe...

He looks evilly over at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who are having fun playing with a ball. The ball hits the ground and Dusk materialises in the middle of it, exploding it and surprising the three foals.

Dusk: Hi BOOOOOOOYS!!! (grin, ear twitch)

Applebuck: Oh, hi Dusk. How’s it go-

Dusk: Grrrrrreat. Just great! (eye twitch) You all look like you’re doing great too! Looks like three friends who obviously don’t need the help of another GOOOOOOOD friend!

He produces a tatty pony plushie and cuddles it.

Dusk: This is Smartacus! He was mine when I was your age. And now I want to give him to YOU!!! (He thrusts the plushie in the CMC’s faces - they are less than thrilled)

Scooteroll: Uh... he’s... great.

Applebuck: Yeah... great!

Sweepy Bell: I really like his... mane?

Dusk: He even comes with his own notebook and quill (presents them both to the CMCs) for when you want to PRETEND he’s doing his homework! (Grins manically and rubs his hooves together) But just remember – he’s not a doll, he’s a plushie!

Scooteroll: That’s um... great!

Applebuck: Yeah, great.

Sweepy Bell: (after Scooteroll and Applebuck nudge him) I really like his... mane?

Dusk: I just hope the fact that there are THREE of you and only ONE of him doesn’t become a problem! I’d hate to cause a rift between such GOOD friends!

Out of sight of the CMCs, he gives another manic grin. Scooteroll rotates his hoof next to his head – code for “the poor guy’s gone Charlie Sheen” – when Dusk shoves the plushie in their faces.

Dusk: Sowhowantstoplaywithhimfirst?

Applebuck: Uh... you should play with him first, Sweepy Bell. You know, since you like his mane so much. (tries to slip away)

Sweepy Bell: Oh, no. I think Scooteroll should play with him first. (also tries to slip away)

Scooteroll: I’d love to but, um, you take him Applebuck. (starts pushing Applebuck towards Smartacus)

Applebuck: Applejack says it’s important to share!

They start fighting, but not for the reason Dusk wants.

Dusk: (thinking) Gotta think of something, THINKthinkthinkthinkthink, Dusk, THINK! *gasp* That’s IT! (speaking to the battling CMCs) Oh, you’re going to LIKE Smartacus, and you’re going to like him more than ANYTHING!

Tiny hearts pour from his horn into the Smartacus plushie, and the CMCs immediately cease their squabbling.

Scooteroll: (heart eyes) I WANT it!

Applebuck: (heart eyes) Ah NEED it!

Sweepy Bell: (heart eyes) I REALLY like his mane!

They start scuffling again, this time over the plushie, occasionally saying things like “I want it first”. Dusk smiles with satisfaction.

Dusk: The Want-It Need-It spell. Works every time! (approaches the fighting ball of doom) Alright, let’s break it up. I think we can all see that there’s an important lesson to be learned here about- (gets kicked away, and seems to regain some sanity) C’mon guys, we’re all friends here! Don’t you think you ought to share?

Applebuck: (looking out of the ball of punches and kicks) NO WAY!

Dusk growls in frustration and dives into the ball of scuffles, but gets thrown out plushie-less and almost hits Macareina.

Dusk: Macareina! Thank goodness. You’ve got to help me get that plushie away from those boys!

Macareina: (stares blankly for a second) ...Eeyup.

She walks calmly over to the scuffling ball, and simply plucks out the Smartacus plushie.

Dusk: Oh thanks. Now if you could just give him to me-

Macareina: (running away with heart eyes) Nnnope.

Dusk: Oh, cud.

The CMCs chase Macareina, who still hangs onto Smartacus, past the Mayor, who up until that point had been enjoying the sunny weather.

Mayor: What’s all the commotion about?

Random background pony #1: (heart eyes) They’re fighting over that doll!

Random background pony #2: (heart eyes) That incredible, amazing doll!

Dusk: (to nopony in particular) How many times – it’s not a doll, it’s a bucking PLUSHIE!

By now a massive group of ponies are trying to get the Smartacus plushie, which is held out of reach by Macareina. Dusk joins the fray, trying to cast the spell to stop the chaos.

Dusk: Can’t... get a clear... shot...

Mayor: (popping up next to Macareina) GIMME!

The Mayor seizes the plushie and starts to run away with it.

Macareina: (throwing off the ponies piled on top of her) Nnnope. (gives chase)

Dusk: Oh Dusk, you moron, what’ve you DONE?

Dusk’s friends are packing up after the picnic. AJ is lazing under a tree when he hears the commotion.

AJ: Y’all hear that?

Suddenly they are all surrounded by the population of Ponyville, who are still battling over Smartacus. The plushie eventually lands nearby: Blitz sees it land, but Dusk appears and pulls him away.

Dusk: DON’TLOOKATIT!

Elusive: Don’t look at what, exactly?

Dusk: (covering Elusive’s eyes) My Smartacus plushie! I enchanted him and now everypony’s fighting over him!

Butterscotch: But why would you enchant your doll?

Dusk: PLUSHIE! And I had to do something! I thought if I couldn’t find a friendship problem I’d just go ahead and make one. The day is almost over!

AJ: Not almost.

They all watch as the sun drops below the horizon. Dusk covers his face and lies on the ground in shame.

Lord Solaris: DUSK SHINE!

He hovers over the scene in a blaze of white light.

AJ: Whoa Nelly.

Lord Solaris casts a spell which disables the botched Want-It Need-It spell and the population of Ponyville stops fighting. They all look at Smartacus for a second, blushing, and the Mayor walks away – treading on it in the process. The crowd dissipates, all except for Macareina, who picks up the plushie and whinnies happily, running away with it.

Solaris lands in front of Dusk, who looks upon him with fear.

Solaris: Meet me in the library. (flies away)

Dusk: (stands up) Bye guys. If you care to visit, I’ll be in magic kindergarten... back in Canterlot.

He walks away.

Butterscotch: Magic kindergarten?

Blitz: Canterlot?

Berry: We’re never gonna see Dusk Shine again!

AJ: What’re we gonna do, y’all?

Elusive: Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! (whimpers, then sees everypony staring) What? I really mean it this time!

Later in the library, Spines watches fearfully as Dusk cowers before his mentor.

Dusk: But-but I’m supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week! I’m a bad student. I’m... tardy!

Solaris: You are an excellent student, Dusk Shine. I don’t have to get a letter every week to know that.

Dusk: (hopefully) You... don’t?

Suddenly, Blitz, AJ, Butterscotch, Berry and Elusive burst into the library. Blitz and Berry leap between Dusk and Solaris.

Blitz: WAIT!

Berry: You can’t punish him!

AJ: It wasn’t his fault!

Solaris: I’m listening.

Butterscotch: Please your majesty, we all saw that Dusk was upset...

Blitz: ...but we thought the thing he was worrying about wasn’t worth worrying about.

AJ: So when he ran off all worked up, not a single one of us lifted a hoof to stop or help him.

Elusive: As Dusk’s friends, we should have taken his feelings seriously and been there for him!

Butterscotch: (as Solaris raises an eyebrow) Please don’t take him away from us just because we were all too insensitive to help him.

Solaris: (pause) Sounds to me like you all learned a pretty important lesson.

Blitz/AJ/Berry/Butterscotch/Elusive: Mmhmm.

Solaris: Very well. I’ll forget Dusk’s “punishment” on one condition.

Blitz/AJ/Berry/Butterscotch/Elusive: (varying degrees of “What is it?”)

Solaris: From this day forth, I would like you ALL to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship, (to Dusk) when and only when, you happen to discover them.

Everypony cheers except Dusk, who follows Solaris out onto the balcony.

Dusk: Lord Solaris, wait! How did you even know I was in trouble?

Solaris: Your friend Spines made me aware that you were letting your fear get the best of you. (Spines darts out of sight and the others come into view) I commend her for taking your feelings seriously. Now, if you all will excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. (indicatively) I’m expecting some mail.

He takes off, flies into the air and vanishes in a flash of light.

AJ: Y’all heard Solaris! Spines, take a letter.

Spines produces a quill and piece of parchment, but before she can write anything, Dusk pulls her into a hug and gives her a look which says “Thank you”.

Later...

AJ: *ahem* Dear Lord Solaris; We’re writin’ ta you ‘coz today we all learned a little somethin’ ‘bout friendship.

Butterscotch: We learned that you should take your friend’s worries seriously.

Blitz: Even when you think they don’t have anything to worry about.

Elusive: And that you shouldn’t let your fears turn a small problem...

Berry: ...into an enormously huge, entire-town-in-total-chaos, (leaps into the air) sun-god-has-to-come-and-(falls)-save-the-day problem!

AJ: Signed, your loyal subjects.

Spines pauses for a moment, and then starts writing again.

Spines: P.S. Obviously, Spines did not have to learn a lesson because she is the best most awesome friend a pony could ask for! Unlike everypony else, she took things seriously and- (sees the look Dusk is giving her) Uh... yeah... I’ll just, um...

She crosses out the PS, while everypony else just laughs.

(end credits)

Episode Seven: Baby Cakes

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic rule 63 edition

EPISODE SEVEN: BABY CAKES

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters:

Mr Cake: Co-proprietor of Sugarcube Corner

Mrs Cake: Co-proprietor of Sugarcube Corner

Angel Cake: One of the Cake twins – a baby pegasus

Marble Cake: One of the Cake twins – a baby unicorn

Nurse Redhoof: A male nurse working at Ponyville Hospital.

Ponyville Hospital: the mane 6 are looking through a viewing window into a nursery, chattering excitedly.

Applejack: Can you believe the new baby’s finally here?

Dusk Shine: Coffee Cake and Cream Cake must be so proud!

Elusive: I wonder if it’s a filly or a colt.

Bubble Berry: (pressing his face onto the glass) I wanna see the new baby pony! I wanna see! Which one is it?!

Mrs Cake (looking exhausted) is standing looking proudly over one of the cots.

Mrs Cake: Meet our daughter, Angel Cake. (reveals the sleeping baby pegasus)

Angel Cake: *yawn*

AJ/Dusk/Elusive/Berry/Butterscotch/Elusive/Rainbow Blitz: Awww.

Mrs Cake: (turns around and reveals a baby unicorn) And our son, Marble Cake!

AJ/Dusk/Elusive/Berry/Butterscotch/Elusive/Blitz: Huh?

Berry: TWO new foals for me to play with? *gasp* That’s two, two, two times the fun! This is the greatest day ever! (appears in the nursery with a party hat, horn in his mouth and cake in one hoof) You need to celebrate your birthday, babies! ‘Coz you were just born today! Woo hoo!

Nurse Redhoof: (whispered) SHHH! The babies are trying to sleep.

Berry: But I was just-

Redhoof: Shhh.

Berry: But-

Redhoof: Shhh!

Berry pauses for a moment and then continues his celebration unabated.

Berry: (whispered singing, pointing to the snoozing twins) Happy, happy birthday to you and you today-

Redhoof appears again, frowning his face off, and Berry is dumped unceremoniously in the observation room.

AJ: Now how in thunderation is one of them twins a pegasus and the other one a unicorn?

Mrs Cake: Easy! My great, great, great, great grandmother was a unicorn, and Coffee Cake’s great uncle’s second cousin twice removed was a pegasus. (shifty eyes) And that makes sense, right?

Blitz: Awww yeah! Just you wait: once little Angel Cake there gets her wings going (zooms around) she’ll be outta control!

Dusk: And I’d be careful around Marble Cake if I were you.

Elusive: Baby unicorns get weird magic surges that randomly come and go.

Berry: (coming up between the twins with a cake – whispers) Quick! Make a wish and blow out your candles, which is easy, ‘coz there are zero candles! You are zero years old after all!

Redhoof: Shhh!

Berry, in surprise, accidently slams the cake into his face, and grins nervously at the annoyed Redhoof through a beard of frosting.

(theme song)

Sugarcube Corner: Mr and Mrs Cake are going about their business as usual while Angel and Marble play with their toys. Both are wearing party hats. Berry bursts through the door from the kitchen, carrying a cake with a large number 1 on it, which he drops between the twins.

Berry: (singing) Happy Monthiversery (puts kazoos in the twins’ mouths) to you and you today! (fast) I can’t believe you’re already a month old time sure flies doesn’t it well it seems like only yesterday you were born! (pops out of the tiny cake) But now you’re a month old today, hey!

Angel Cake/Marble Cake: (blow on their kazoos)

They leap onto Berry’s mane and tail and bowl him over, knocking him onto his back, and all three of them giggle happily. Mrs Cake pauses and smiles appreciatively.

Berry: (getting up) Are you ready for your favouritest game in the whole wide world? (goes into the kitchen and hides behind the door) Where’s Bubble Berry? (opens the door) Here I am! (repeats the action) Where’s Bubble Berry? Here I am! Where’s Bubble Berry? Here I am!

Angel/Marble: (giggling)

Berry: Here I am! Here I am! (leaps out of the kitchen) Here I am! (blows a raspberry at the laughing twins)

Mr Cake: (looking over the door) Everything okay in there? Who needs a diaper change?

Berry: Not to worry, they’re a-okay! (picks up Angel and sniffs her clearly noxious diaper) Eugh! I mean, er-

Mrs Cake: Oh, I got it.

She goes through the process of changing the twins’ diapers: they lie there giggling, fresh as daisies, while she washes her hooves.

Mrs Cake: Now, who’s hungry?

Berry: Ah, no thanks. I just had a big breakfast.

Mr Cake: (balancing two bottles on a tray on his tail) I’m on it.

He flicks the bottles into the waiting hooves of the twins – they drain them while Berry checks his watch impatiently. When they finally finish, they sit and make weird faces and noises.

Berry: Ooh, ooh, are you making silly faces? I have one: (crosses his eyes and lolls his tongue around) Bleeggh-

Mrs Cake: Aheh, no Berry, see; the babies need to be burped.

She picks up the twins and pats them on the back until they both belch before setting them both on the ground once more.

Berry: That it? We ready to play again?

He runs (excitedly as usual) back out of the kitchen and Angel and Marble to go follow him. Angel trips and lands in a pile of toy blocks, which she then starts thumping enthusiastically. Mrs Cake stops her.

Mrs Cake: Ah-ah-ah, we don’t pound things, Angel.

Marble sits down and starts sucking noisily on a tube of baby powder, which Mr Cake promptly removes.

Mr Cake: No, no, we don’t chew on things, Marble.

Berry: Except food, but that goes without saying-

Mr Cake: (shocked) Food? Oh shiitake mushrooms, I completely forgot!

Berry: Oh no, you just fed them with their bottles, remember?

Mr Cake: Not the baby’s food!

Mrs Cake: *gasp* The food for the enormously big catering order we had to deliver today!

Mr Cake: (despair event horizon) And with the new twins, we’ve been so distracted!

Mrs Cake: (putting the babies into harnesses on her back) C’mon, sweetie, we need to find a babysitter.

They start to leave.

Berry: Ooh, ooh, I’ll do it! I wanna do it! The babies love playing with me, I’ll do it!

He runs after the Cakes and through Ponyville.

Mr Cake: Wonder who would be available on such short notice...

Berry: (bouncing) Me! Me! Pick me!

The Cakes go to Butterscotch’s cottage – Butterscotch is standing at the door.

Butterscotch: Oh, I would love to babysit! (The Cakes look relieved) But I can’t today, sorry (and now disappointed). I promised Angela we’d go on a picnic.

He indicates Angela, who is watching the scene frowning and tapping her foot impatiently. The Cakes turn and walk away from the cottage.

Butterscotch: (as they leave) You-you understand, right? You aren’t mad at me, are you? Pleasedon’tbemadatme!

Berry: (appears cradling Angela like a baby) I’ll do it! Pick me!

The Cakes then go to the library, where they look disappointed as Dusk shakes his head.

Dusk: Sorry, but I have to finish my report to Lord Solaris summarising all my other reports to Lord Solaris.

He indicates Spines, who is balanced on one foot with a piece of parchment in each claw, another clenched in her other foot, and two more in her mouth and impaled on a spike on top of her head. The Cakes depart.

Berry: (cradling a book wearing a diaper) I wanna babysit! Pick me!

The Cakes then try AJ, but their faces fall as he bucks an apple tree and puts a stray apple in the bushel provided.

AJ: Babysit now? When there’s a swarm a’ hungry caterpillars headin’ this way? Ah gotta get all these apples picked before they get swarmed. (He pulls an apple out of reach of a hungry caterpillar that was about to chomp on it)

Berry: (cradling a bundle of apples as the Cakes leave) Ooh, ooh, I wanna do it!

Next, Blitz is shown sitting on a cloud, shaking his head at the Cakes.

Blitz: I just snagged tickets to the Wonderbolt’s air show this afternoon. See ya later! (flies away)

Berry: (playing with a cloud in a diaper) Ask me! (singsong) Me meme me mememe meme me!

He drops the cloud, which dissipates and leaves an empty diaper on the floor – Berry looks around to make sure nopony saw before resuming his following of the Cakes, who then try Elusive.

Elusive: (in the doorway of Carousel Boutique) Moi, babysit? Oh, nonononononono!

The Cakes leave.

Elusive: I’m honoured that you would consider me though.

The Cakes appear to be out of breath when Berry pops into view, grinning enthusiastically.

Mrs Cake: *sigh* Bubble Berry, would you like to babysit for us?

Berry: *excited gasp* (suddenly looks indifferent) I dunno, I’m gonna have to check my schedule.

Later: Mr and Mrs Cake run around frantically trying to put together the order while Berry watches inquisitively. The twins sit at his side. Mrs Cake pauses.

Mrs Cake: (nervously trotting up and down on the spot) Now Berry, are you sure you really understand the responsibility of watching over two babies?

Berry: Sure I can be responsible! In fact, responsibility is my middle name. Bubble Responsibility Berry!

Mr Cake: But this time you have to take care of them, not just play with them. You have to be responsible!

Berry: Yes, I know. I will. I am!

The oven goes “ding” and Mr Cake wheels out a massive, multi-tiered cake. He rolls out a long list.

Mr Cake: Here you are, son. (the list unfurls) All of your responsibilities are on this list.

Berry: (examines the list) Wow! That’s a lot of- (salutes) consider it done.

Mrs Cake: (about the giant cake) We’ll frost it when we get there! C’mon, sweetie, tick tock!

Mr Cake: (being pushed out the door by Berry) Take care of our two little ginger snaps!

Berry: Easy-peasy cider squeezy, Mr and Mrs Cake! Everything is under control.

Once Mr and Mrs Cake are gone, Berry turns to the twins with an excitable smile, which fades when the babies start crying their eyes out.

Berry: (to the reader) Yep, I’m bucked.

(commercial)

Angel and Marble continue to bawl deafeningly, while Berry’s face is one of either desperation, uncertainty or outright terror.

Berry: (trying to smile – and failing) Oh, don’t cry little friends! Look, watch this! (hides behind the doors again) Where’s Bubble Berry? (uncertain) Where’s Bubble Berry?

Angel/Marble: (crying)

Berry: (re-emerging) No, no, I’m right here! See? Right here?

Angel and Marble keep crying, so Berry tries making faces and funny noises at them, but they still don’t stop.

Berry: (to himself) Um, okay, okay, just think. Think! (thinks for a moment) Aha!

The babies are set at a table in a dimmed room.

Berry: Hey, check this out!

He enters onto a stage in front of a curtain with a spotlight shining on him, while applause smatters in the background (HOW?!) and starts talking into a mop as if it were a microphone.

Berry: Hi there! Wow, you’re an awesome crowd tonight, where’re y’all from? (he offers the mop handle to Marble, who makes as if to bite it, but Berry pulls it away) Well, that’s cool. Y’know, I used to have an ant farm, but I had to get rid of it ‘coz... I couldn’t find tractors that small! (badum-tish) Geddit? Tractors that small?

He grins expectantly (like a moray eel) but all that happens in that somepony coughs in the background.

Berry: The other day, I spilt spot remover on my dog... and now I can’t find him!

He dashes over to a drum set and makes the “badum-tish” but Angel and Marble burst into tears again.

Berry: Gee, tough crowd. (back on stage) Tell me about it. (to the twins) Fair enough. I wasn’t gonna pull off a showstopper, but you’re an awesome audience and you totally deserve it! (when he comes back on stage he is wearing a fake pig’s snout and starts singing and dancing) First you jiggle your tail (oink oink oink) then you wriggle your snout (oink oink oink) then you wiggle your rump (oink oink oink) then shout it out (oink oink oink)!

Angel and Marble’s faces quite clearly say “What the hell is he doing?” and after a couple more rounds of the Piggy Dance they start crying again and Berry looks worried. So worried in fact that he loses his concentration and crashes into a closet, and knocks a bag of flour off and onto his head, turning him white.

Angel/Marble: (giggles)

Berry: There. See? (wipes his brow) Nothing to this babysitting business! (collapses from exhaustion)

Later: Berry is examining the list, which is now pinned to a wall in the kitchen.

Berry: Snack time! That’s easy enough.

The babies are seated in their high chairs: Angel is banging her hooves, and Marble is sucking on his hoof. Berry places a bowl of food in front of each of them.

Berry: Okie-dokie-lokie, eat up! (when the babies do nothing, he picks up one of the bowls) Like this!

He mimes eating, complete with sound effects, and then puts the bowl back. Marble makes as if to chow down, but reaches past the bowl (knocking it off), grabs the nearby tablecloth and starts sucking on it.

Berry: No Marble, we eat food, not tablecloths.

He pulls the tablecloth out of Marble’s mouth, and the little unicorn promptly starts crying. Angel bangs so hard that she sends her bowl flying into the air, and when it lands on her head she starts crying as well when it falls off. Desperate, Berry grabs another bag of flour.

Berry: Hey, hey, look at me! (upends the flour bag over his head) *sneeze*

Angel/Marble: (giggles)

Berry: (flatly) Yeah, I can totally see where this is headed.

Later: Berry has run a bath for the twins, but before he can get started they run around evasively, giggling. Marble grabs a towel and starts sucking on it.

Berry: (pulling it away) Towels aren’t food, Marble!

The babies run around, clutching the towel between them, and Berry does his best to chase them down.

Berry: Drop it... Drop it... (stops running) DROP IT!

He looks around for the twins, and finds them hiding in the medicine cabinet above the sink. When he opens it they dash out again, and hide behind the shower curtain. Berry finds them and plops them into the bathtub, where they immediately start crying. Again.

Berry: Oh, er, look guys! Bubbles!

He throws some bubbles into the air and the twins instantly stop crying, and seem to be enjoying themselves. Berry makes himself a beard out of foam, but when a bubble pops on Marble’s horn the babies start crying again. Berry looks desperate (again) so he plops a toy boat into the bath.

Berry: Um, don’t cry, don’t cry! Look, look, floaty things! Ooh, ah!

The babies seem satisfied with the floaty thing, so Berry piles in more and more, increasing in size and culminating in an inflatable dinghy, complete with oars. This upsets the babies so much that they cry harder than ever before, and the floaty things explode into the air and out of sight. In Angel’s thrashing, she breaks the tap and Berry is blasted out the door and returns, drenched, with a flour sack.

Berry: Please don’t make me do this. You know what happens when you mix flour with water, don’t you?

Angel and Marble pause, but resume crying, so Berry upends the flour sack over his head and ends up covered in off-white goo. Needless to say, the babies find it hilarious, while Berry is less than impressed as the stuff slides onto the floor with audible, disgusting plops.

Later: Berry is reading over the list again when noxious fumes reach his nostrils, and he gasps and shoves a hoof into his muzzle. He looks over at Angel and Marble, who seem undeterred in their playing, despite the terrible smell.

Berry: (nasally) Smells like somepony needs me to changey-wangey their diaper-wiper right now-a-wow!

He grabs a couple of fresh diapers and sneaks up on the unsuspecting twins.

Berry: Easy, easy...

The twins giggle and zoom away when they see him, but he corners them behind a cabinet, and after a scuffle they wind up bare-bottomed, while Berry is wearing one diaper and has another on his head. The twins laugh and run away again.

Berry: You gotta be kidding me! (bell rings downstairs) Oh, thank goodness they’re back!

He runs downstairs and finds Dusk waiting at the door.

Dusk: Hey Berry! I finished up the work I had to do, so I thought I’d stop by and see if you needed some extra hooves.

Berry: (drags Dusk inside and detaches a diaper) Thank you thank you THANK you! I can’t even begin to tell you what my day’s been like. I mean, these babies just won’t listen to reason, and don’t even get me started on their taste in stand up comedy! (badum-tish)

Dusk: It’s okay, Berry. I kinda figured you would need some help. That’s why I stopped by.

Berry: (indignantly) Excuse me?!

Dusk: (telekinetically tidying up some mess) Babies take a lot of work, and some ponies just aren’t cut out for handling the responsibility.

Berry: IS THAT SO? (pushes Dusk out the door) Well, thank you for the concern, Dusk, but I don’t have time for a visit right now. I’m very busy with my RESPONSIBILITIES, thank you very much!

Dusk: I’m happy to help! It’s no trouble- (Berry slams the door in his face).

Berry: Huh! He thinks I can’t handle things by myself! (pulls the diaper off his head) Maybe because I haven’t handled things by myself. (pause) Well, I CAN handle things by myself!

He goes upstairs to where Angel is jumping on her crib and giggling, while Marble is chewing on a rubber chicken and giggling. Berry gallops over to Angel first.

Berry: Angel Cake! (she stops jumping) This is a crib! It is only to be used for napping, sleeping, and on occasion with permission, as a pretend old-timey Western fort. It is NOT a trampoline so stop your jumping right now, missy! (to Marble) And YOU, young colt! We do not put anything in our mouths that we cannot safely and properly digest, so stop slobbering on that toy RIGHT now!

Marble promptly spits the rubber chicken onto the floor, and Berry drops him into the crib next to Angel.

Berry: Now, we’ve all had a very exhausting afternoon, and it’s time for all the good little foals to take their nap, so FALL ASLEEP!

They do; the twins leap onto their backs, eyes closed, and start snoring. Berry pulls a blanket over them both and kisses their foreheads.

Berry: Sleep tight.

He pulls up the bars of the crib and puts the rubber chicken back in the closet.

Berry: (leaving) Now that’s what I call handling things.

He turns around and reaches up to close the door, but a glance at the crib reveals that the babies are gone, and he gasps in horror.

(commercial)

Berry stares in horror at the empty crib.

Berry: Oh nononono nono. This is not good. Not good! (re-enters the room) Angel? Marble? Where are you?

He hears a squeaking noise coming from the closet, and investigation reveals that Marble is sitting in there, chewing on the rubber chicken.

Berry: What the... (picks up Marble and puts him in the crib). You be a good little boy now, Marble-warble and stay right here for your pal Berry-Werry!

He leaves the room, rather nervously, as Marble continuously squeaks on the rubber chicken. Berry glances back several times with a rather suspicious expression (making sure Marble stays there) and enters the corridor outside.

Berry: Angel? (clicks his tongue) Here Angel?

The drapes on a nearby window blow in the breeze, even though the window is closed. Angel’s laughter is heard echoing around, giving the place a very spooky vibe. Marble keeps squeaking on the rubber chicken, but the squeaking becomes lower pitched and sinister, and even sounds like it’s saying “Berry”. When Berry re-enters the twin’s room, the laughter loses its echo. Berry looks up, and sees Angel giggling and standing on the ceiling, flapping her wings.

Berry: How did- You can fly?!

Angel: (giggles)

Berry: (jumping up and trying to reach Angel) Get – down – here – this – instant – young – filly! (lands and catches his breath) I’m responsible for you!

He acquires a set of suction boots from... somewhere, and uses them to walk onto the ceiling and grab Angel’s tail so he can pull her back down to earth, but just as he returns with her Marble is reaching for his toys, but decides to levitate them over instead. He slips one into his mouth and starts sucking on it. Berry gapes at the sight and Angel falls out, only to start flying again.

Marble: Nyam nyam nyam.

Berry: No no no, Marble! (takes the toy away – Marble just sucks on another one)

Marble: Nyam nyam.

Berry: No no! (takes the second toy away, but Marble catches a third)

Marble: Nyam.

Berry: No! (picks up all the toys) I’m the responsible one (puts the toys in their box) and I said no!

He locks the box very thoroughly with an arrangement of locks and heavy chains, but when he turns around Angel is still flying around.

Angel: Wheeee!

Berry: That goes for you too, Angel! (jumps up and catches her) Gotcha! I think... AAH!

The still-flying Angel drags Berry down the stairs, his muzzle hitting every single step, and drags him into the kitchen where he crashes into a series of fruit pies, each one getting his face muckier and muckier. When his head and shoulders are covered in purple sludge, he licks it off his face with one clean sweep.

Berry: Mmm. Razzleberry!

Angel drags him back and forth through the flapping doors, punctuating his every syllable:

Berry: I’m! Not! Let! Ting! Go! I’m! Res! Pon! Si! Ble!

Angel pulls him back up the stairs, and again his face hits every last step, and then his tail catches on the door handle of the twin’s room and pulls it shut. Angel hovers above Marble, who levitates himself into the air much to Berry’s dismay.

Berry: Not you too!

Angel and Marble zoom around the room together before Berry slams a playpen over their heads and secures it to the floor with masking tape.

Berry: HA! Now who’s the responsible one?

Marble’s horn glows, as does part of the playpen, and he steps out to freedom to Berry’s bemusement and apparent horror, then starts running around giggling. Angel buzzes into the air, pushing the playpen up until the masking tape breaks, and then she flies around joyfully.

As Berry grows increasingly frantic, Marble magically breaks the lock on the box of toys and levitates them out, letting them fall in a pile on top of him, and popping out with a plushie turtle in his mouth which he starts chewing on. Berry watches the unfolding scene with horror, and ultimately bursts into tears.

When Angel and Marble see what they have done, they walk over to the stricken Berry – Marble levitating a flour sack over his head – and drop it over their heads, turning them completely white. Berry laughs and wipes his eyes.

Berry: Heh, you’re right. That IS funny.

Later: Angel and Marble are snoozing peacefully in one of the cribs, and Berry leaves the room, knowing for sure that they won’t get up to any more antics.

Berry: (voiceover) Dear Lord Solaris... I’ve always had fun playing with little kids, and I thought babysitting just meant more playtime, right? (He enters the messed up kitchen, and his face falls when he sees the splattered food everywhere) Wrong! Being a caregiver is WAY more responsibility than just being a playmate. (When Berry has cleaned up one highchair, he wipes his forehead with relief, only to see that the other one is still filthy – Mr and Mrs Cake are seen approaching outside) And today I learned that sometimes our desire for responsibility can outweigh our actual ability to handle it.

The bell rings and Mrs Cake enters nervously.

Mrs Cake: Bubble Berry, we’re home!

Mr Cake: (nervous) How did everything go?

Both: *gasp*

The shop is absolutely spotless, with no evidence whatsoever of the events that transpired in their absence.

Mrs Cake: Are we in the right place?

Berry: Ssh!

He indicates upstairs, where Angel and Marble are still peacefully sleeping, and all three older ponies look in on them.

Mr Cake: Berry, this is just... just...

Mrs Cake: Amazing is what it is! (they turn away from the twins) If we had known just how responsible you really were... Would you be interesting in becoming our go-to babysitter on a permanent basis?

Berry: (surprised) Um, er, lemme check my schedule. I should be available a week from (throws the schedule away) never!

Angel/Marble: *contented sigh*

Berry looks in.

Angel: Bubble...

Marble: Berry...

Berry looks back at the Cakes with watering eyes.

Berry: *sigh* I have some free time next Tuesday.

Episode Eight: Secret of My Excess

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic rule 63 Edition

EPISODE EIGHT: SECRET OF MY EXCESS

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Elusive: Speaks with a heavy Mid-Atlantic accent – very critical when it comes to details and fussy about his appearance.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters:

Applebuck: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Applejack’s younger brother.

Scooteroll: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Zircon: A zebra witch doctor who lives in the Everfree Forest.

Horse M.D: A doctor who examines Spines.

Manes Goodall: A vet who examines Spines.

Mr Cake: Co-proprietor of Sugarcube Corner.

Mrs Cake: Co-proprietor of Sugarcube Corner.

Junebuddy: One of the ponies Spines blindsides.

Cherry Lee: Teacher at Ponyville Elementary School.

Ponyville library: Dusk Shine ignites a candle.

Dusk Shine: No distractions.

He draws the curtains and narrows his eyes.

Dusk: Today is too important. (levitates the books off the shelves) Reshelving day!

The books fall to the ground, leaving the shelves completely empty. Dusk puts a hoof to his forehead in concentration, and lifts the books back into the air. They start flying around in an extremely orderly fashion. Dusk brings one down in front of his face.

Dusk: “Understanding Medieval Equestria” goes in Pony History. (puts the book on a different shelf) “Modern Spellcasting”; that’s Classics. (replaces the second book) “The Art of the To-Do List”... (puts the book down) Actually, I kinda want to read that again!

He hears Spines giggling, and it breaks his concentration: the books fall to the ground in heaps. Dusk pokes his head out with pages impaled on his horn and looks at his assistant, who is standing on the stairs holding a large ruby.

Dusk: Spines, what’re you laughing at? You broke my concentration: I’m gonna have to start again now.

Spines: This little beauty is my birthday present to myself. It’s a fire ruby! (holds it up) I’ve been aging it for months and it’s almost ripe!

She hits it with a tuning fork and listens to the hum, then starts giggling again. Then she slips on a fallen book and loses her footing, but catches the ruby with the tip of her tail.

Spines: (sees the mess) Oh hey, you took my advice: just use the whole floor as one big shelf!

Dusk: *frustrated groan*

(theme song)

Later: Dusk is still working on his reshelving and Spines is polishing her fire ruby, and there is a knock at the door.

Elusive: (out of sight) Hello? (opens the door) Anypony home? Dusk Shine? (sees the fire ruby) *gasp* Is that a fire ruby? But-but that has to be 24 carats, at least! And it’s flawless: no inclusions, pristine facets-

Spines: And totally delicious!

Dusk: (looking around) Um, do you mind?

Elusive: Oh, my apologies Dusk. I simply came around to see if you possessed any books on historical fashion. (to Spines) Did you say “delicious”?

Spines: You bet! See, it’s my birthday next week, and this’ll be my birthday dinner.

Dusk: (holding a book) Try this one.

Elusive: (takes the book and opens it) Thank you, Dusk. I have a feeling that ruffled taffeta cloaks will make a massive comeback this year, and I want to be ahead of the game...

He gazes longingly at the fire ruby and bits his hoof in yearning.

Elusive: I hope it’s as tasty as it is beautiful, Spines. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more stunning gemstone in all my life. (covers his mouth with a hoof and keeps his eyes fixed on the ruby)

Spines: You... you really like it, eh?

Elusive: Like it? It’s... magnificent!

Spines looks from his dreamy face to the fire ruby.

Spines: Then you should have it. (gives Elusive the ruby) This beautiful gem was meant to be with you.

Elusive: (levitates the ruby before him) I don’t know what to say. This is- it’s so thoughtful! Oh, Spinesy-winesy!

He kisses her on the cheek, and she falls over, stiff as a board and completely love struck.

Elusive: Thank you so much!

He bounces happily out of the library, apparently forgetting about the book he wanted to borrow, and Spines seems to regain some of her dignity.

Dusk: (still reshelving) Wow, Spines. That’s gotta be one of the nicest things you’ve ever done. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Elusive so happy!

Spines: (stroking her cheek) I am never going to wash this cheek again.

One week later: Dusk and Spines are putting the finishing touches to a party set-up.

Dusk: You done, Spines? Everypony will be here soon.

Spines: There. Perfect! Everything looks perfect.

Dusk: Uh, not quite everything. (gives Spines a washcloth)

Spines: A washcloth? I don’t get it. (Dusk stares meaningfully at her face, and she catches on) What? No way, Dusk! I said I wasn’t going to wash the cheek Elusive kissed and I meant it!

She turns her head and reveals that her cheek has become filthy due to remaining unwashed. Dusk takes the washcloth and starts advancing on Spines, who runs away, so he gives chase.

Dusk: Call it quits, Spines. I’m cleaning that cheek whether you like it or not!

He starts teleporting Spines closer to him in an effort to catch her, but because she runs away she may as well be simply running through conjoined portals.

Spines: (appears) It’s mine! (appears again) Stop it!

She disappears one last time; Bubble Berry appears in her place and blows a party horn into the face of the dumbfounded Dusk. Spines appears on the other side of the library.

Bubble Berry: Happy birthday!

He throws confetti over Spines’ head. Dusk takes advantage of the distraction and cleans her face.

Berry: (leaps around excitedly) Party time! WOO HOO!

The rest of the mane 6 gather, all holding presents.

Spines: Wow. Are those all for me?

Applejack: (gives Spines a present) You bet they are, birthday girl.

Butterscotch: (gives her another present) Happy birthday, Spines.

The colts pile up more and more presents, until Rainbow Blitz drops a dumb-bell on top and Spines collapses under the weight. She stares – apparently confused – at all of the gifts.

Rainbow Blitz: What’s up? You do know you get presents on your birthday, right?

Spines: Well, see, this is my first birthday in Ponyville: I usually only get one present. From Dusk. A book.

Dusk hears this and backs away sheepishly, hiding a barely wrapped book behind his back.

Elusive: Speaking of presents (presents a beautiful cloak) THIS is from my new line of taffeta cloaks. I shall be making one for each of you.

Everypony: (assorted compliments)

Elusive: I have been inspired by the generosity of my darling little Spinesy-winesy, who gave me this beautiful fire ruby, (which he is wearing as a brooch... somehow) one of the kindest acts I have ever experienced.

He and Spines share a nuzzle.

Later: Spines is rummaging through her presents and emerges from the heap clutching an apple patterned blanket.

Spines: Applejack, I can’t thank you enough for this awesome blanket. (hugs AJ) I really needed a new one!

AJ: (pushes Spines away) I get it, Spines. You already thanked me fifteen times! I’m starting to get a little embarrassed.

Spines: (looks around at her friends – Berry is bouncing on a balloon) I know I keep thanking you guys, but I’m just so grateful. I wish this party could last forever!

Berry: (lands on the balloon again – it pops) Duh! This party CAN’T last forever ‘coz you have to go to Sugarcube Corner ‘coz the Cakes said they have a special surprise for you ‘coz it’s your birthday!

Spines: (ecstatic) NO WAY! (runs away)

Berry: I said the party couldn’t last forever but that doesn’t mean it has to end right now-

The door slams. Spines runs at top speed to Sugarcube Corner, and stands at the bar rocking back and forth on her heels.

Spines: Hi, Mr and Mrs Cake!

Mrs Cake: There’s the dragon of the hour. Happy birthday, Spines!

Spines: Thanks!

Mr Cake: When we found out it was your birthday, we couldn’t resist trying out a new recipe: sapphire. (holds up a sapphire cupcake)

Spines: WOW.

She grins massively. Upon leaving, she waves to Mr and Mrs Cake.

Spines: Thanks a bunch! (looks at the cupcake) Man, first I get a bunch of great presents from all my best friends, and then a brilliant sapphire cupcake! What a day!

She crashes into somepony and falls, but catches the cupcake with her serpentine tongue. Then she notices a dizzy Cherry Lee, groceries strewn everywhere.

Spines: Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Cherry Lee!

Cherry Lee: (head stops spinning) That’s okay, Spines. What’s got you so excited?

Spines realises she would have to put the cupcake down in order to help him pick up the groceries, so she shrugs and shoves it in her mouth.

Spines: (muffled) Bubble Berry told me I should go see the Cakes, ‘coz they had a special surprise for me ‘coz it was my birthday.

Cherry Lee: Oh, happy birthday, Spines! I wish I had something to give you. Hang on... (digs around in the bag and pulls out a fez – because they’re cool – which he places on Spines’ head) Here you go.

Spines: Wow. Really?

Cherry Lee: Of course! Everypony should get fun gifts on their birthday. (Spines hugs him, then he walks away) Have a great day!

Spines: (admiring the fez) I wish every day was my birthday.

She continues walking through Ponyville. Behind her, Harpsy and Babar are having a conversation, but are interrupted by Dopey Hooves popping up out of a nearby well.

Spines: Bubble Berry mentions my birthday to the Cakes, and I get an epic cupcake. I mention it to Cherry Lee, and I get this cool fez.

She notices a young filly playing with a ball.

Spines: (evil eyes) I wonder... (to the filly) Hey there, Lickety Split, that’s a pretty neat ball, you’ve got there! Did I happen to mention it’s my birthday?

The filly smiles. Later, Spines is walking through Ponyville bouncing the ball and snickering.

Spines: This is unbelievable! (sees Junebuddy drinking from a fountain, and walks over to him chuckling) Hey, Junebuddy! It’s my birthday! (holds out claws expectantly)

Junebuddy: (missing the point) Oh, happy birthday, Spines.

Spines: (disappointed) Aren’t you going to give me something, like a present?

Junebuddy: Well, I don’t have anything.

Spines: What about your flowers? (leering over the flowers) I’ll take those.

Dusk: SPINES!

He drags her back by the ear.

Dusk: Sorry about that, Junebuddy. I think Spines might have got a bit carried away.

Junebuddy: Oh, no harm done. Happy birthday Spines! (leaves)

Dusk: (to Spines) What the hay do you think you’re doing? What are you, demanding gifts now?

Spines: (shakes her head) Wow. You’re right, Dusk. I don’t know what got into me. Thanks a bunch for snapping me out of it. (takes off the fez) I guess I’d better give Cherry Lee his fez back, too.

Dusk: (smiles) No problem. See you at home later?

Spines: Sure thing. Bye!

She waves at Dusk until he’s out of sight, before putting the fez back on and sniggering.

Spines: Who else has a gift for Spinesy-winesy? (hisses)

Next morning, Dusk wakes up and pulls himself out of bed.

Dusk: Wow, what a rough night’s sleep, Spines. I had the weirdest dre-

He stops in mid-sentence when he sees that Spines’ bed it buried under a massive pile of assorted objects.

Dusk: (removing the stuff) I can’t believe you! Where the hay did you get all of this- *gasp*

Spines, still wearing the fez and clutching the ball, has more than doubled in size. She yawns and hisses at the same time.

Spines: Wha... What happened?

Dusk grits his teeth anxiously.

(commercial)

Spines: What’s happening to me, Dusk? (tries to prise the fez off her head)

Dusk: (searching through books) How am I supposed to know? Think back to last night. Did something weird happen?

Spines doesn’t seem to hear him. Having finally prised the fez off her head and examined her oversized claws, she notices that everything in the library seems to be incredibly compelling, except for Dusk, who breaks her from her daydream.

Dusk: Spines? (she shakes her head) What did you do after I saw you?

Spines: (fixes her gaze on a globe) Well, I went to talk... to...

She approaches the globe.

Dusk: SPINES! (yanks it away) You went to talk to who?

Spines: Huh? Um... I don’t remember. Hey, can I have that globe? You’re not using it, are you?

Dusk: You wh- huh?

Spines grabs the globe and carries it up into her pile of stuff, and then appears holding the book Dusk was going to give her as a birthday present.

Spines: What about this book?

Dusk: (teleports onto the heap and levitates the book) Spines, I’m worried. You’re usually not so... grabby.

Spines: (snatches the book away) My arms aren’t usually (voice drops to a more adult, woman-like tone) this long either. (claps her claws to her mouth in shock) What’s happening to me?

Dusk: Hmm... (hoof on chin)

Later: Dusk has brought Spines to the local doctor’s office. She is sitting on the table swinging her legs nervously, and every so often reaches for a bowl of sweets, which is cause for Dusk to slap her claw away. The doctor enters.

Horse M.D: Well then, what seems to be the problem?

Dusk: This is Spines. (slap) And something’s wrong with her. (slap) She used to be half this size. (slap) And she keeps trying to steal things that aren’t (slap) hers!

Horse: (raises an eyebrow) Okay then, let’s just take a look. (patronizing, foal-like voice) Wittle girl not feewing to good? (examines Spines) Who’s a bwave wittle girl, huh? Who’s a bwave one?

A tap on Spines’ knee causes her to belch flame into the doctor’s face.

Dusk: So, uh, what’s the diagnosis?

Horse: Well, I think I’ve deduced what the problem is. (Dusk leans forward in anticipation) She’s a DRAGON!

Dusk: You think I haven’t noticed that? And for the record, she’s been a dragon her whole life.

Horse: That would definitely explain a considerable amount. Look, I haven’t got a clue about dragons: my field is baby ponies. My suggestion? Try a vet.

Dusk: (Spines nicks the sweet bowl) *sigh* Alright. Thanks anyway.

Later: Dusk and Spines are at a vet’s office, and the vet is giving Spines, sitting on a table, a once-over.

Manes Goodall: Gotta tell ya, I’m stumped. You bring me a dog, I’ve got it diagnosed in seconds – a snake even faster – but (turns to Dusk) to be honest, I’ve never even seen a dragon before today. (pats Spines on the head) Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? Sit.

Spines sits, panting like a dog, and the vet gives her a dog biscuit which she adds to the sweet bowl.

Dusk: Fair enough. C’mon Spines.

Later: Dusk has brought Spines to Zircon’s hut. The zebra squeezes the dragon’s head, which squeaks for some reason, then dangles a watch in front of her nose which she makes a grab for. He waves one of her arms, and the other flicks up and hits Dusk in the face.

Zircon: Ooh, she is starting to mature. Of this fact, I am quite sure.

Dusk: Mature? (reassured) So she’s just growing up? But how does that explain why she keeps grabbing stuff?

Zircon: A dragon’s heart is prone to greed: a steady diet to make growth speed. (tips some illusion powder into his cauldron – it swirls to resemble Spines) Then, the resulting bigger size only makes their hunger rise. If this trait should go unchecked (the image of Spines grows to resemble her current shape as stuff is added to it) if Spines continues to collect more growth will certainly occur. (the green stuff becomes the face of a jack-o-lantern like thing) She is going to become a monster!

Dusk: What? You mean the more junk a dragon collects the bigger they get? How the hay am I supposed to stop that before she goes crazy?

Zircon: If her monstrous ways you wish to impede, you must prevent her from practising greed.

They look around: Spines is gone, along with the entire contents of Zircon’s hut. Dusk grins nervously. He hurries back into Ponyville, and sees an enlarged Spines trying to pull Scooteroll’s scooter away from the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Applebuck: Get away from him, you bitch!

Spines: (deepened voice) Spines want!

Scooteroll: You’re not getting my scooter!

Spines: Spines WANT!

Panicking, Dusk looks around, and grabs a nearby broom.

Dusk: Hey Spines! Check out this awesome broom!

Spines: (letting go of the scooter and getting even bigger) SPINES WAAANT!

Dusk leads her back to the library.

Dusk: C’mon, big girl! Come and get the wonderful broom!

Spines tries to follow him into the library, but her enormous body gets wedged in the door. She pulls herself out and makes a leap for the broom.

Spines: SPINES WAAAAAANT!

She dives right through a door into a different part of the library, and Dusk slams it closed and leans against it to keep her in.

Dusk: You can fight all you like, Spines, but I’m not gonna let you out.

The room goes suspiciously quiet, and Dusk opening the door reveals that Spines has piled all of the books into a heap and is lying protectively on top of them.

Dusk: Ugh, Spines! I literally JUST reshelved this room!

He removes the books and shuts the door again, but after that there is an almighty crash.

Dusk: What now?

Investigation reveals that Spines is gone, having knocked a hole in the wall to escape. Dusk stares at it in horror. Elsewhere, at Sweet Apple Acres, AJ is examining his barren trees in bewilderment.

AJ: Now who in Ponyville would want to steal mah apples? Fer that matter, who the hay would want to steal all mah leaves?

Dusk: (running into view) Applejack, help! Spines is running wild and I need you to lasso her!

AJ: (laughs) Ha! That’s a good one, Dusk. Sweet little Spines, running wild!

As he chuckles, Spines runs past clutching a massive heap of AJ’s apples and leaves, some of which drift loose. Two of them land on AJ’s face, giving him a leaf moustache.

AJ: (flatly) Dusk. Get my rope.

Dusk and AJ charge at Spines with the rope clutched in their teeth, but when they leap at her she ducks at a critical moment, and the two ponies are wrapped around a tree and end up bound to it. Spines takes the opportunity to roar in their faces before running away.

Dusk/AJ: HELP!

Luckily for them, Blitz is flying over and dives down to investigate, but when he sees Dusk and AJ tied to the tree, he falls down laughing.

Blitz: Don’t tell me you... you tied yourselves up? HA!

AJ: (Dusk struggles) Git us outta here Blitz!

Butterscotch: (out of sight) *screams*

AJ: Who was that?

Blitz: Sounded like Butterscotch to me.

After Dusk and AJ have been freed, the three colts hurry to Butterscotch’s cottage.

Dusk: Butterscotch, are you here? Butterscotch!

Butterscotch: I’m up here!

He’s clinging to a high branch in a very, very tall tree with several squirrels huddled on his back.

Dusk: Are you okay? What happened?

Butterscotch: (nervous wreck) I-I was-was helping m-my squirrel friends... with a dance step... and a giant, rampaging d-d-dragon stormed through!

Dusk: Hate to tell you, ‘Scotch, but that giant rampaging dragon was Spines.

Butterscotch: Spines? But-but why would Spines steal my chicken coop? (all that’s left is some nails stuck in the ground) She just yanked it out of the ground and filled it with a bunch of leaves and stuff!

Berry: (out of sight) *screams*

Blitz: THAT sounded like Bubble Berry!

At Sugarcube Corner, Berry is pelting Spines with assorted baked goods and confectionary.

Berry: Back! Get back, you cur!

He throws a pie at Spines – she catches it and adds it to her horde. The other colts arrive.

Dusk: Berry, why are you giving her cake? It’ll only make her worse!

Berry: (cake in each hoof) I’m not giving her cake! I’m assaulting her with cake! LET (throws cake) HER (throws cake) EAT (throws cake) CAKE!

Spines grabs each cake and simply adds it to the stuff she’s already gathered.

Berry: How DARE you take the cake!

The colts stare in horror as Spines erupts through the roof, and walks away with the chicken coop held in her tail.

Dusk: Buck it; she’s completely out of control. We’ve got to stop her before she steals somepony she shouldn’t!

AJ: Ya mean someTHING she shouldn’t.

Dusk: I know what I mean!

The colts wear faces of extreme worry – except Berry, whose face is of complete shock as AJ drags him by the tail out of the ruins of Sugarcube Corner. Meanwhile, unaware of the current events, Elusive is trying out his latest cloak.

Elusive: Hmm, perhaps a little less ruffle. Would not want ponies believing I’m a mare.

He pauses when he sees Spines’ eye at the window, which smashes as she reaches through for the screaming unicorn.

(commercial)

An air-raid type siren starts to wail, but Spines rips it out of the ground to add to her horde. She stamps on a cart, rears back and roars, now a fully grown draconic monster, and ponies everywhere run away screaming. Elusive, clutched in Spines’ curled tail, screams the loudest of all. She seizes the water tank from the tower, empties it in the middle of the town square, and uses it to contain her growing horde.

Elusive: Put me down RIGHT now.

Spines roars in his face, sculpting his hair anime style.

Elusive: (sarcastically) Nice.

Butterscotch: (flying past with Blitz) Stay calm, Elusive. We’ll sort this out!

Blitz: (right next to Spines’ head) Put him down RIGHT NOW!!

Butterscotch: (on the other side) If-if, you know, you wouldn’t... mind!

Blitz: I mean it, you monster!

Butterscotch: We-We’d be ever so thankful if you’d be so kind as to possibly consider-

Blitz: DROP HIM, SCALY!!

Spines starts swatting at them with her tail, still clutching Elusive.

Elusive: Hey! I’m – not some – sort of common – fly swatter!

Blitz and Butterscotch get tangled in Elusive’s flying cloak, which tears off, and they fall screaming into the river, quickly resurfacing.

Elusive: Boys! (sees the torn fabric) My cloak!

The dragon starts stomping away.

Blitz: Look! The Wonderbolts!

Three of the Wonderbolts soar overhead: they dip down low and swerve up, shaving off the spines on the back of the dragon’s neck. She starts climbing the nearby mountain, with Elusive still screaming raucously, when the Wonderbolts come in for another go. This time, one of them shaves the spines off the top of her head.

She looks around, and sees a cave up above. Upon reaching it Spines empties her horde into it and leans against it protectively – the Wonderbolts try a third frontal assault, but Spines catches them in the empty tank and jams it into the side of the mountain before grinning and roaring triumphantly.

Elusive: Oh, will you shut up?

Spines: (turns to face Elusive)

Elusive: You think you have ANYTHING to be proud of? You steal everypony’s possessions (Spines makes “blah-blah-blah” motions with her claw) terrorize Ponyville and even go so far as to use me as a weapon against my own friends, which as awful as it sounds, I could almost understand, seeing as you’re a dragon, but THIS! (removes the ruined cloak, exposing his fire ruby brooch) THIS is a CRIME AGAINST FASHION!

Spines’ eyes widen as she sees the fire ruby. Elusive catches on and tries to hide it.

Elusive: Oh no. There is no way you’re getting THIS gemstone! This was given to me by my dear friend Spinesy-winesy, the kindest most generous little dragon I know. (Spines’ eyes widen further) And it is far too precious for me to surrender to a huge greedy fiend such as you!

As Spines looks into the fire ruby, it triggers a flashback of her giving it to Elusive (from her point of view):

Spines: Here Elusive, (gives him the gem) it would mean more to me to see you happy... than to eat it myself.

Elusive: (takes the gem) I don’t know what to say. This is just... so generous!

He kisses Spines on the cheek, and the flashback ends. The modern day Spines shakes her head.

Elusive: (as Spines writhes) Oh what is it now? Are you going to eat me or something?

Spines suddenly shrinks down to her ordinary size, leaving her and Elusive in midair.

Elusive: Spines? YOU’RE the giant rampaging dragon?!

Spines grins nervously, and then both of them start falling, screaming all the way.

Berry: (watching through binoculars) Somepony DO something!

Blitz: On it!

He grabs Butterscotch, and then both of them swoop down, snatch the torn cloak from the river and start zooming towards the falling pair.

Spines: Elusive, I-I have to tell you something. Just in case we don’t make it!

Blitz and Butterscotch continue flying, but it looks like they may not reach them in time.

Spines: I’ve always had a sort of a crush-

Elusive puts a hoof to her lips, eyes watering with an understanding smile, and Spines smiles too as she realises he already knows. Just as they are about to hit the ground, they are caught in the cloak by Blitz and Butterscotch, carried to safety and set down surrounded by their friends.

Butterscotch: We... We did it!

Blitz: Meh, I could do it whenever.

Spines walks away and sits on the railing of the nearby bridge. She holds up a claw, comparing it to one of her massive footprints, and Elusive approaches from behind.

Elusive: Spines, I just want you to know how proud I am of you.

Spines: Why are you proud of me?

Elusive: Because it was you who stopped... well, you from destroying Ponyville. You are my hero, Spinesy-winesy.

He kisses her on the cheek. Later, Spines is writing a letter to Lord Solaris while Elusive gives his friends the cloaks he has made.

Spines: (voice over) Dear Lord Solaris; today I learned a great lesson about friendship. See, you might think it would feel good to get loads and loads of stuff, but it doesn’t feel nearly as good as giving something special to somepony you care about. Well, I learned today that it truly is better to give than to receive, and that kindness and generosity are what lead to true friendship. And that’s more valuable than anything in the world. (finishes and signs the letter) Well, (looks at her framed cheek) almost anything.

Episode Nine: Artemis Eclipsed (just doesn't have the same effect)

MY LITTLE BRONY: MATESHIP IS MAGIC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Rule 63 Edition

EPISODE NINE: ARTEMIS ECLIPSED

Developed by Rainy Meadows

Cover image by Trotsworth

CHARACTERS:

Dusk Shine: Prides himself on being the star student of Lord Solaris – an antisocial who is uneasy about meeting new ponies.

Spines: Dusk Shine’s assistant – a baby dragon and his best friend/little sister – sometimes feels unappreciated, and occasionally has to prompt/coerce Dusk Shine.

Applejack: Belongs to an extensive family of apple farmers, and is strong and reliable in a bad situation. Speaks with a thick Southern American accent.

Rainbow Blitz: An athletic weather pony who idolizes the Wonderbolts and is renowned for boasting and bragging about his achievements.

Butterscotch: An extremely shy and easy-to-scare pony who enjoys anything to do with animals, but is not as antisocial as Dusk Shine. His voice is very quiet.

Bubble Berry: Quite possibly the happiest, most energetic, most RANDOM pony in the whole of Equestria – obsessed with parties and finds it impossible to be quiet.

Lesser characters:

Prince Artemis: The younger, more reserved brother of Lord Solaris and controller of the moon.

Littlepip: A filly who is part of the group following Berry around getting candy.

Zircon: A herbalist who lives in the Everfree Forest.

Grampy Smith: Patriarch of the Apple Family.

Mayor of Ponyville: ‘Nuff said.

Spines is pacing back and forth in the library, dressed in a dragon costume. She sighs and looks upstairs.

Spines: Ugh, come on, Dusk! We’re gonna be late for the Nightterror Night festival!

Dusk Shine emerges from upstairs, dressed in a wizard costume with multiple jingling bells and a long fake grey braid hanging from his ears. Spines stairs at him, dumbfounded, as he descends the stairs.

Spines: Um… are you that one nutjob grandma from Ponyville Retirement Village?

Dusk Shine: (annoyed) I’m Starswirl the Braided.

Spines just stares.

Dusk: Creator of the amniomorphic spell?

Spines continues staring.

Dusk: *sigh* Did you even read that book on obscure unicorn history that I gave you?

Spines: Um… (there’s a knock at the door) That sounds important!

She runs over to the door, opens it and leaps back with a small yelp when faced with three small colts in various costumes.

Trick-or-treating colts: Nightterror Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!

Spines wipes her forehead and steps aside.

Dusk: (addressing the colts) Hey there, kids! Awesome costumes. Happy Nightterror Night, Grampy Smith!

Grampy Smith: (annoyed) I shoulda bin in bed five hours ago!

Smiling, Dusk places a piece of candy in each of the bags the foals hold, and Littlepip emerges from the back, dressed as a pirate swinging a sword in her teeth. She falls to the ground, gets back up and salutes Dusk.

Littlepip: Li’lpip the Pirate at your service! It’s my very first Nightterror Night!

Dusk: Since you moved here from Trottingham?

Littlepip: No, my very first Nightterror Night EVER!

Bubble Berry suddenly pushes his way to the front, dressed in a large cock-(tee hee)-eral outfit.

Bubble Berry: Bu-KAWK! Enough blabber! Time is candy!

Dusk: (as Berry devours his candy) Uh, Berry? Surely you’re a little old for-

Berry: For free candy?! Bu-KAWK! Never!

He sees Dusk’s costume and appears only a little less dumbfounded than Spines.

Dusk: Like my costume, huh?

Berry: Like it? That’s the best weirdo clown costume I’ve ever seen!

Dusk: (as Berry and the foals move on to the next house) A CLOWN?!

He and Spines step out into the street. Spines closes the door behind them.

Dusk: Okay, I admit it – technically I’m in drag right now – but I made this costume myself! I mean, look at this! (holds up his cloak) The border on this cloak is hoof-stitched and it took me AGES!

Spines: It’s a great costume, Granny! (sniggers)

Dusk: (facehooves)

(opening credits)

Dusk continues walking through Ponyville with Spines following him, a massive mound of candy in her arms.

Dusk: It’s not like Starswirl the Braided was the most important conjuror of the preclassical era. Oh, wait, IT WAS! (they pass Macareina, who is dressed as Miss Hyde and pulling a cart containing several apparently drunken stallions) I mean, she invented over 200 spells and has a section of the Canterlot Library named after her! (music becomes audible as the draw nearer to the town square, where many of the populace are dancing) Maybe I should start a class to teach ponies about history. I’m sure everypony would love it. Right, Spines?

Spines: (mouth full of candy) Mm, I’ll love it!

Dusk: (stops and looks around at the festivities) Oh hey, we’re here! You wanna get something to eat?

Spines: Oh, er-

She gives a small burp and giggles nervously. This is followed by Berry, still surrounded by his troupe of foals, charging up to Dusk and enthusiastically showing him the candy he has collected.

Berry: Dusk! Dusk! Look at our haul! Ha, can you believe it?

Behind him, Rainbow Blitz (in a Shadowbolt costume) begins pushing a storm cloud in their direction.

Berry: And then- And then we went to Cherry Lee’s house and we get LOADS more goodies, didn’t we Pip!

Littlepip: You bet!

Blitz raises his hooves to strike the cloud.

Berry: And then- And then- And then- And then we had to stop to wait for Grampy Smith, and then- and then-

Blitz strikes the cloud, causing a massive lightning bolt to startle Berry and the foals, who run away screaming while Blitz rolls around laughing on his cloud.

Dusk: (sarcastically) Oh ha-ha, Blitz, that was hilarious.

Rainbow Blitz: Will you take a chill pill, dude? Nightterror Night is second only to April Fools as the ultimate in pranking time!

Dusk: Look what you did to Spines!

He points at Spines, who is gagging and clutching her throat.

Blitz: I don’t know if you noticed, Grandma, but this is for fun. Oh hey, there’s another group over there!

He speeds away with his cloud. Rolling his eyes, Dusk picks up Spines and walks away as Blitz shocks another small crowd with lightning, cackles and flies in search of more victims. Meanwhile, Dusk and a recovered Spines locate Applejack, who is overseeing the apple-bobbing.

Dusk: Happy Nightterror Night, Applejack!

Applejack: Howdy Spines, hey Dusk! Nice costume.

Spines: Thanks, I’m a dragon!

Dusk: He was talking to me, Spines.

AJ: So, what are ya? The hair makes me think hippie, but the hat makes me want to say jester…

Spines laughs while Dusk’s expression grows sourer.

AJ: While yer here, do y’all wanna try bobbin’ fer apples?

Dopey Hooves suddenly bursts out of the barrel, dressed in paper bags with the plug chain in his mouth. He yanks on the chain and his expression becomes disappointed as the water drains away. The Mayor (dressed as a clown) then takes centre stage when the music finishes and the crowd begins to applaud.

Mayor: Thank you, everypony, and welcome to the Nightterror Night festival!

The crowd cheers.

Mayor: Now, all the little ponies who have been out gathering sweets should follow our friend Zircon to hear the legend of (spooky voice) Nightterror Nebulaaaaaa! Mwahahahaha!

Spines: (whispering) That spooky voice might work on a pony dressed as something a little scarier.

Dusk: (sniggers)

The stage is coated in thick green smoke, from which Zircon emerges dressed as a spooky-looking shaman (or witch doctor, IDK).

Zircon: Follow me with your taste for terror, and you’ll hear the legend of Nightterror Nebula.

He leads the foals, accompanied by Berry, Dusk and Spines, to a clearing in the Everfree Forest where there is a large statue of a rearing Nightterror Nebula in all of his terrifying glory.

Zircon: Listen close, my little dears: I’ll tell you where you got your fears (gestures at the statue) of Nightterror Night, so dark and scary. (He blows some green dust into the air and it forms into an image…) Of Nightterror Nebula, who makes you wary.

The glittering green Nightterror Nebula dives down at the ponies and surrounds them with green fog. The ponies all mill around nervously.

Zircon: Every year we put on a disguise to hide ourselves from his searching eyes…

An evil face appears behind Littlepip and another little foal, who scream and scamper away as Zircon grins wickedly.

Zircon: (as Littlepip screams and crashes into the statue’s plinth) But Nightterror Nebula wants just one thing: (Littlepip looks up at the statue and backs away slowly) to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!

While backing away, Littlepip crashes into Berry, who has planted his head into the ground ostrich style. Both leap into the air and scream in terror.

Zircon: Hungrily he soars the sky. (the Nightterror Nebula illusion pauses and looks around as three other foals cower in fright) If he sees nopony, he passes by. (the illusion becomes a cloud of smoke which floats up into the air) So if he comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe for another year!

The fog once again becomes Nightterror Nebula, who vanishes with a small *poof*.

Littlepip: (tugging on Zircon’s robe) Um, Mr Zircon? If we wear disguises to hide from Nightterror Nebula so he won’t gobble us up, why do we still have to give him some of our candy?

Zircon: A perfect question, my little friend, for Nightterror Nebula you must not offend. (creates another NN illusion, which stalks towards the shivering ponies) Fill up his belly with a treat or two so he won’t return to come eat YOU!

The Nightterror Nebula illusion dives at the foals and envelops them in green, glittering mist. Berry leaps out and screams.

Berry: (runs over to the statue – he and the foals start dumping their candy) Everypony just dump some candy and let’s GET OUT OF HERE!

Suddenly, as though out of nowhere, a wind blows through the clearing and clouds swirl overhead. The expressions on Zircon and Dusk’s faces suggest that this is not part of the show.

Thunder cracks and a carriage emerges from the cloud, pulled by two stallions with snake-like eyes and wings that resemble those of a bat. In the carriage sits a mysterious pony wearing a hooded cloak.

Berry: *gasp* It’s Nightterror Nebula! RUN!

He runs away in terror, the foals close on his hooves, as the carriage pauses in the sky, lightning flashes and illuminates the sinister passenger’s grinning face.

(commercial)

Back in Ponyville, the populace enjoying the festivities look around as a still-screaming Berry charges into town followed closely by a group of equally terrified foals and a running Dusk. The carriage comes to a halt above the town square and the passenger jumps out and lands more softly than a cat. He tosses back the hood with a flick of his head and a flash of lightning, revealing the face of a now-older Prince Artemis.

Everypony grovels in respect and fear except for Dusk.

Dusk: Prince Artemis!

He walks forward to greet his highness but Spines pulls him back. Artemis approaches the mayor – his cloak becomes a hoard of bats which flutter away into the night – and smiles down at his cowering subjects.

Prince Artemis: CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! (a bystander narrowly avoids being blown away by volume) WE HAVE GRACED YOUR MINISCULE VILLAGE WITH OUR PRESENCE SO YOU MAY BEHOLD THE REAL PRINCE OF THE NIGHT! (lowers his hoof and takes a few steps forward) A CREATURE OF NIGHTMARES NO LONGER, BUT INSTEAD A PONY WHO DESIRES YOUR LOVE AND ADMIRATION! (everypony stars backing away) TOGETHER WE SHALL TRANSFORM THIS MACABRE FESTIVAL INTO A BRIGHT AND GLORIOUS FEEEEEAST!!!

He rears into the air with his wings flared and lightning, activated by pure awesomeness, flashes behind his head.

Berry: (standing up) Did you hear that everypony? Nightterror Nebula says he’s gonna feast on us all!

He charges away, closely followed by the group of screaming foals. Artemis looks on in surprise.

Artemis: What? No, children, no! Screams of delight is what your prince desires, not screams of TERROR!

He smashes his hoof into the ground, causing yet another pony to cower in fright, and then approaches the mayor.

Artemis: Mayor of Ponyville! Thy prince of the night hath arrived!

He offers his hoof, either to kiss or shake, but the mayor just cowers, as does the next pony Artemis offers his hoof to.

Artemis: What is the matter with you all?

The next few ponies he tries all cower accordingly.

Artemis: (turns and starts to walk away) Fine! Be that way! See if we care! We won’t even bother with thy traditional royal farewell!

Dusk: (standing up) I’m going to talk to him.

Spines: (grabbing Dusk’s costume to stop him walking away) What’re you, crazy? You can’t just waltz up and have a conversation with Nightterror Nebula!

Dusk: He’s not Nightterror Nebula anymore: I saw the Elements of Harmony change him back to good with my own eyes. Looks like he’s having a few problems with adjusting, though.

He finds Artemis in the clearing from earlier, looking up at the statue of the rearing Nightterror Nebula.

Dusk: Prince Artemis? (Artemis looks around and gets up) Hi, my name is-

Artemis: Starswirl the Braided. Commendable costume. Thou even got the bells right.

Dusk: Thank you, finally! Somepony actually gets my costume! (notices Artemis’ dejected face) Well, I just came to welcome you to the celebration. My real name is-

Artemis: Dusk Shine.

He flies a few feet into the air surrounded by swirling winds and clouds.

Artemis: IT WAS THOU THAT UNLEASHED THY POWERS OF HARMONY UPON US AND DEPRIVED US OF OUR DARK POWERS!!!

Dusk: (regaining his footing) And… that was a good thing, right?

Artemis: But of course! We could not be happier! Is that not clear?

Dusk: Well, it’s just that you kinda sound like you’re yelling at me.

Artemis: But this is the Traditional Canterlot Voice! It is tradition to speak using the royal We and to use THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADDRESSING OUR SUBJECTS!!!

Dusk: (straightens his hat and ‘hair’) Y’know, that probably explains why your arrival was met with… mixed results. I bet if you changed your approach a little, you’d get a much warmer reception.

Artemis: (right in Dusk’s face) CHANGE OUR APPROACH?!

Dusk: (quietly) Lower the volume!

Artemis: Oh. We have been absent for an entire millennium: we are uncertain of our success.

Dusk takes Artemis to Butterscotch’s cottage and is leading him to the front door.

Dusk: Not to worry, your highness. Butterscotch can give you some great pointers: you can barely hear his voice even when he’s shouting. (knocks on the door)

Butterscotch: (from within) GO AWAY! NO CANDY HERE! VISITORS NOT WELCOME ON NIGHTTERROR NIGHT!!

Dusk: (nervous laugh and another knock) Uh, ‘Scotch? It’s me, Dusk.

Butterscotch: (opens the door and peers around) Oh, it is you. (sees Artemis) Oh, and Nightterror Neb- NIGHTTERROR NEBULA!!

He screams and slams the door.

Dusk: Bear with me a moment.

He enters the cottage and several loud crashing noises are heard from within, along with bleating, neighing and some kind of bubbling noise. Dusk eventually emerges, telekinetically dragging Butterscotch out by the tail.

Dusk: (straining) Butterscotch, you remember Prince Artemis, right?

Artemis: CHARMED.

Butterscotch: (held before Artemis) *gulp* Likewise!

Artemis: DUSK SHINE HATH SPOKEN OF THE SOFTNESS OF THY VOICE! WE ASK THAT THOU TEACH US TO SPEAK AS THOU SPEAKEST!

Butterscotch: Okay.

Artemis: SHALL OUR LESSONS BEGIN?!

Butterscotch: Okay!

Artemis: HOW IS THIS?!

Butterscotch: Goodkaythanksbye!

He tries to dart back into his house, but Dusk slams the door and he crashes into it like a pancake.

Dusk: A little quieter, your highness.

Artemis: HOW IS This?

Dusk: Better, right ‘Scotch?

Butterscotch: *groan of pain*

Artemis: How. About. Now?

Dusk: Now you’re getting it!

Artemis: And… how about now?

Dusk: Yes! Nailed it!

Artemis: (picks up Butterscotch and gives him a crushing hug) WE THANK THEE, DEAR BUTTERSCOTCH! THY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE IS SURE TO WIN THE HEARTS OF THY FELLOW VILLAGERS!

Berry canters into view, surrounded by the foals.

Berry: Butterscotch, you gotta hide us! Nightterror Nebula is here and- (sees Artemis holding Butterscotch and gasps) He’s stolen Butterscotch’s voice so he can’t scream when he EATS HIM!!

He runs away: the foals all scream and follow him as Artemis drops the hapless pegasus.

Artemis: NAY, CHILDREN, WAIT! I mean; nay, children, wait!

Dusk: (after a facehoof) C’mon, your highness. Time for plan B.

Dusk leads the prince back into Ponyville, where the festivities are in full swing, but they come to an abrupt halt when Artemis is sighted and everypony begins to duck down out of fear.

Artemis: It is no use, Dusk Shine. They have never liked us and I doubt that they ever shall.

Dusk: Look, my friend Applejack is one of the most likable ponies around. He’s sure to have an idea or two.

AJ is still manning (ponying?) the apple bobbing games. Littlepip is teetering on the edge of the barrel and almost falls in, but AJ grabs her and pulls her back.

AJ: Watch it, li’l lady. (sees Artemis) WHA- (cowers with his hooves over his head)

Dusk: (rolls his eyes) Applejack, Prince Artemis is looking for a little advice on how to fit in around here.

AJ: (uncovering his face) Come again?

Dusk gives him a flat look.

AJ: Well, I mean… easy as pie! Y’all just gotta get the right attitude. Loosen up a notch, be positive, play some games; you know, just have fun!

Artemis: Fun? What is this ‘fun’ thou speakest of?

Dusk and AJ lead him over to a game which involves throwing toy spiders at a web target.

Artemis: Pray tell, what purpose do these serve?

Cowering pony: T-t-try to land the sp-s-sp-sp-spiders on the web!

Artemis gives one of the squishy toy spiders a curious look, then furtively tosses it at the web. It falls about a foot short. Worried, Artemis casts a glance at Dusk and AJ.

AJ: You can do it, Prince!

Spurred on, Artemis tries again with another spider, this time landing it in the exact centre of the web.

Artemis: Hah! Your prince enjoys this… fun! In what other ways may we experience it?

Next up is a range of catapults which fire pumpkins at targets. Artemis stands before one which is already loaded.

Dusk: Fire away, Prince!

Artemis launches the pumpkin and it splats against the dead centre of the target.

Artemis: Ha! The fun has been doubled! (ponies cheer)

AJ: How ‘bout ya try bobbin’ fer apples, yer highness? We got the finest apples in Equestria here!

Artemis: I ask that thou call us… me… Artemis, sir Applejack. (to everypony) Hear me, all of you! Call me Artemis!

Villagers: Oh, okay/Artemis sounds good/etc.

Artemis: (walking towards the apple barrel with Dusk and AJ) Show me to these ‘bobbing apples’.

He sees Littlepip fall into the barrel and dashes over to pull her out.

Berry: (turning up still surrounded by foals) Hey you guys, anypony seen Pip? We lost her the last time we had to run from- (sees Artemis with Littlepip in his mouth) *gasp* NIGHTTERROR NEBULA IS GOBBLING LITTLEPIP! EVERYPONY RUN!!

He does, as do the foals surrounding him.

Littlepip: Help! (jumps from Artemis’ jaws) My backside’s been gobbled!

Artemis: ‘Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful wench!

He thumps the ground, causing lightning to crack behind his head, and the residents of Ponyville start to back away in fear.

Artemis: Fellow villagers, please do not back away. Let us all unite in… fun! (picks up a fake spider and throws it to the villagers) Not enough fun for you? What say you to THIS!

He zaps the spider he threw and it comes to life, sprouting glowing red eyes, and then animates the rest of the spiders as well. They overwhelm some of the villagers, but others assemble in the exact centre of the web.

Artemis: Huzzah! How many points do I receive?

Utter bedlam breaks out. Screaming ponies run all over the place, destroying the decorations.

Artemis: Do not run away! (they ignore him) As your prince, we command you-

They continue to ignore him, galloping around like fresh-headless chickens (and screaming accordingly) utterly annihilating the decorations while Artemis looks around, growing more and more agitated until:

Artemis: BE STILL!!

Thunder rumbles and everypony falls silent and still, once again cowering on the ground.

Dusk: Your highness, remember to watch the shouti-

Artemis: NO, DUSK SHINE. WE MUST USE THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE FOR WHAT WE MUST DECLARE. (takes off, flying into the sky with a backdrop of swirling clouds) SINCE YOU CHOOSE TO FEAR YOUR PRINCE RATHER THAN LOVE HIM, AND DISHONOR HIM WITH THIS INSULTING CELEBRATION, WE DECREE THAT NIGHTTERROR NIGHT SHALL BE CANCELLED FOREVER!!!

Everypony looks on with horror and shock as Artemis flies away.

(commercial)

AJ: (to Dusk) *sigh* We had everythin’ goin’ our way: Artemis was happy, everypony in town was happy… now look at ‘em.

He indicates the depressed villagers, many young foals crying and one moaning that he wanted to be a zombie next year.

Dusk: It’s not over yet.

AJ: What’re you gonna do?

Dusk: Only what I do best: lecture him!

He runs off in search of Artemis, eventually locating him crossing a bridge with his head bowed in shame.

Dusk: Prince Artemis?

Artemis: Bugger off, Dusk Shine.

Dusk: Your Highness, I know things haven’t exactly gone the way we wanted them to, but you must believe me when I tell you that Nightterror Night is one of our most popular celebrations.

Artemis: (deadpan) Yeah, I figured from the adoring screams of the children as they run away. (walks away)

Dusk: Artemis… (turns away and ponders)

Back in Ponyville, while everypony else is depressed and tearfully tidying up the fallen decorations, Berry is still as in character as ever and squawking no end. He sees a wrapped piece of candy lying on the ground.

Berry: Ooh, piece of candy! (pecks it open and eats it, then sees another, not noticing that he is entering an alleyway) Ooh, piece of candy! (eats it) Ooh, piece of candy! (eats it) Ooh, piece of candy! (eats it) Ooh, piece of ca-

Dusk leaps out of nowhere and pins him against the wall by the muzzle.

Dusk: No! No screaming! No shrieking or squealing either! Got it?

Berry: (muffled) Okay!

Dusk: (softening his expression) Listen: there’s something I want you to see and I swear to you it’s safe. Now I’m going to remove my hoof, but only if you promise not to scream. Do you promise?

Berry: Mm-hmm!

Dusk steps away and allows Artemis to step out of the shadows. Berry starts to scream, but stuffs his hooves in his mouth to silence himself.

Dusk: Berry, you remember Prince Artemis, right?

Artemis: (bitter) Ah yes, the ringleader of the frightened children. (nervous) Hast thou come to make peace?

He holds out his hoof to shake. Berry is nervous at first, but then smiles, reaches for Artemis’ hoof… and then lightning flashes behind his highness’ head, illuminating his face in a terrifying manner.

Berry: NIGHTTERROR NEBULA!! (squawks like a chicken and runs away)

Dusk: (looking up at the cloud) Blitz, what the hell?!

Blitz: (laughing) Your momma, that’s what! (more laughing)

Berry keeps running away, but Dusk teleports in front of him to stop him leaving the alley. The two collide and roll head over hooves until Dusk has Berry pinned to the ground by the shoulders. Berry struggles to get free.

Dusk: He’s changed, Berry. He’s not evil or scary anymore and he sure as hay doesn’t want to gobble you up.

Berry stops struggling.

Berry: (sarcastic) You don’t say.

Dusk: Come again?

Berry: Dusk, that’s the most obvious thing ever! I mean, I’m almost as big as him, what would he do, stuff me into a massive funnel and suck me up like a Bubble Berry Milkshake?

Dusk: But if you know he can’t eat you, what’s with the screaming and running off?

Berry: Sometimes being scared can be a blast! What do you think rollercoasters were built for? I really thought you were smarter than that.

There is a pause.

Dusk: Bubble Berry, you’re a genius!

Berry: No I’m not, I’m a chicken. Bu-KAWK!

Dusk: (after releasing Berry) Prince Artemis, I finally figured out why you’re having so much trouble!

Artemis: (deadpan) Oh. Yay.

Dusk: Follow me: I’ll explain everything on the way.

While Dusk puts his plan into operation, a group of foals are trying to console an upset Littlepip.

Littlepip: *sigh* Who’d have thought my very first Nightterror Night would be my last, too?

Zircon: Come, Littlepip, now don’t you fret: Nightterror Night’s not over yet. We still have candy left to give (Littlepip brightens up) so Nightterror Nebula might let us live.

Mayor: Yes! Come on, little ponies! What’s Nightterror Night without the annual candy offering? (spooky voice) You don’t want Nightterror Nebula to gobble you up, doooo yoooouuu?

Spines pauses while picking up a fallen banner.

Spines: Ugh, lose the wig.

Zircon and AJ take the foals to the clearing with the statue in it, and the foals each empty their bags at the foot of the plinth.

Littlepip: (mournfully puts down her bag) Goodbye, Nightterror Night. Forever.

As she turns to walk away, wind blows through the clearing.

Nightterror Nebula: (appearing on the plinth in place of the statue) CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! YOU WERE WISE TO BRING THESE CONFECTIONS TO ME! I AM PLEASED WITH YOUR OFFERING: (AJ’s hat blows off and lands at the foot of the plinth) SO PLEASED THAT I MAY JUST EAT IT INSTEAD OF EATING YOOOOU!

Everypony screams and runs away. Nightterror Nebula shrinks and becomes Artemis again, who spits out a set of fake fangs.

Artemis: I’m not sure that worked, Dusk Shine.

Dusk: Give them a moment.

Artemis: (gets down from the plinth) To what? Scream some more?

Littlepip: (nervously tugs on Artemis’ mane) Um, Prince Artemis? I know there’s not gonna be any more Nightterror Night, but do you think that maybe you could come back next year and scare us again anyway?

Artemis: (confused, looks up at the rest of the foals hiding behind a large rock) Child, art thou saying that thou… likest me to scare you?

Littlepip: It’s really fun! Scary, but fun!

Artemis: Really?! (pause) Well then, I suppose we shall have to bring… NIGHTTERROR NIGHT BACK!!

Littlepip: Whoa! (regains her footing) You’re my favourite prince ever! (hugs Artemis’ leg and runs off) He said yes, guys!

Foals: (cheering)

Dusk: What’d I say? They really do like you, your highness.

Artemis: Can it… really be…? (rears into the air) OH MOST WONDERFUL OF- (shrinks back down) I mean… oh most wonderful of nights.

Later: Everypony is enjoying the festivities with renewed vigour – Artemis is fitting right in – while Dusk narrates his letter to Lord Solaris.

Dusk: Dear Lord Solaris: When you first sent me to Ponyville, I didn’t know anything about friendship. I met somepony today who had exactly the same problem: your brother, Prince Artemis. He taught me that one of the best things you can do with friendship is give it to others and help them find it themselves. And I’m happy to report that all of Ponyville has learned that even if somepony looks intimidating – even a bit freaky – if you offer them your friendship, you may discover a whole other pony underneath.

Dusk picks up a candy corn.

Dusk: And even if my Starswirl the Braided costume didn’t go over, this still turned out to be a pretty awesome Nightterror Night.

He plops the candy corn into his mouth while Blitz sneaks up behind him on his cloud. He raises his hooves to strike it, but thunder flashes behind him and scares him off. Startled, Dusk looks up… and sees Prince Artemis descending on a cloud of his own. Artemis winks and starts to laugh, and Dusk and Spines join in.

(end credits)

Interlude: Duskalicious!

Author's Note: I'm sorry, I just... I just had to!

Dusk Shine is sitting in the library reading a book titled "Trolling for Eggheads." He lowers it and, against all probability, starts rapping.

Dusk Shine: I'm the D to the U-S-K, S-H-I-N-E, and ain't no other pony trollin' down like me, I'm Duskalicious! (holds up a trollface)

Behind him, Spine bursts out laughing. Dusk's eyes widen and he turns around.

Dusk: SPINES! Wha-how long have- How much of that did you see?

Spines: (lowers a video camera) All of it! (laughs)

Dusk: (gets up) Give me that camera.

Spines: No.

Dusk: Spines, give me that camera!

Spines: I said no!

Dusk: (starts chasing Spines) Give me that camera RIGHT now or no ice cream for a month!

Spines: Not a chance! (Dusk chases her out into the street)

They run past Bubble Berry, who is setting with a very formal appearance at a desk in the middle of a street listening to somepony on a phone.

Bubble Berry: Thank you. (hangs up and looks directly at the reader) And now for something completely different...