The Love Letters of Twilight Sparkle

by EricKilla

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Sex, Spike, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2511

Twilight writes a questionable love letter to her mentor Princess Celestia. Inspired by the Love Letters of James Joyce.

Twilight Sparkle is irretrievably, absolutely, undeniably in love with Princess Celestia. She pens a very special, and questionable, letter to express her feelings.

Princess Celestia reacts about how one would expect.

Co-authored with MidnightDancer

There are a few readings of this on YouTube. The first is by CaptainBron3y, which can be seen here!

Also, Cozmosus did a reading, narrated in his impressive Discord voice. You can see his reading here!

Published 2013-08-07 05:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-07 05:00:02 UTC

To My Dearest 'Tia

The Love Letters of Twilight Sparkle
By EricKilla and MidnightDancer (Mostly MidnightDancer). We’re very sorry.
Based off the writings of James Joyce to his wife, Nora.

Candlelight flickered and stuttered, casting strange shadows on the oaken walls of the library the small unicorn called home. Chewing on a quill tip, her violet eyes scanned the page feverishly, reading and rereading her missive to her mentor. Twilight cast her eyes up once, glancing at the clock that showed half midnight, before taking a deep and steadying breath.

“Everything will be fine,” she whispered to herself, running one hoof down the parchment almost reverently. “If this doesn’t prove how much I... how much I care... I don’t know what will.”

Taking one more deep, cleansing breath the way Cadence had taught her, she signed her name with a gentle flourish in her neat hornwriting. The parchment was encased in a pale magenta glow as it rolled up in midair, a purple ribbon-the color of devotion-wrapping around it in a neat bow. Smiling down at it as it rested before her, she took another deep breath.

“SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!”

Princess Celestia trotted gently to her study, a beatific smile gracing her muzzle. The day had gone quite splendidly; in fact, it was arguably one of the better days she had experienced in recent memory. The nobles weren’t trying to court her and were generally being well behaved, and most of her petitioners were rather coherent and reasonable. Sighing a happy, unburdened sigh, she nodded to her loyal guardsponies before entering her study.

Settling gently on the plush velvet cushions by the hearth, she waved her horn once to bring to life a merry fire. Relaxing into the pillow inch by inch, she allowed her eyes to slip closed as she reached for her steaming cup of jasmine tea with her magic, bringing it to her lips. The taste was divine, the temperature perfect, and she sighed happily once more as she let her eyes drift to the clock. Half midnight. A bit late, but after such a nice day, it’d be a crime to not milk it for all it is worth.

The curl of green smoke and a light tinkling sound heralding the arrival of a scroll from her faithful student was about to prove that even demi-goddesses can be very, very wrong. She smiled eagerly, grasping the scroll in the light golden glow of her magic as she set her teacup down. A letter from Twilight? A bit late, but I’m always happy to hear about her lessons in friendship. With a wistful smile, she unravelled the scroll, magenta eyes scanning the first few lines.

Then the next few.

A moment later, the unflappable Princess of the Sun rose from her cushion, eyes open perhaps a bit too wide. She glanced back down at the scroll, now held away from her in surprise. She glanced back up, towards the window facing Ponyville.

“Oh, my little pony,” she muttered, “just what the fuck are you smoking?”

Twilight paced.

She had tried to go to sleep--she really had. But what if Celestia responded? No, better to stay awake so she could get it immediately. The little dragon, however, was less sure.

“Twilight, it’s one in the morning. She’s probably asleep. Let’s just go to bed, please?” Rubbing his eyes with one balled up claw, he sighed.

“This is important, Spike! This is maybe the most important letter I’ve ever sent her!” She shook her mussed mane, drawing herself up to her full height. “I need to be sure. I need to know.”

Plopping down on the stairs, Spike resigned himself to a long, long night of waiting. Watching her resume her pacing with half lidded eyes, his mind wandered. I wonder what was so important that she couldn’t even let me read it? Was it some great discovery? Did she make something in that lab? Did she... his eyes widened, did she finally figure out Pinkie Pie?!

A second later, his eyes returned to half-mast. Nah. Impossible.

Twilight paced on, wearing on the floor as each moment wore on her.

Blinking once, the dark alicorn eyed her sister in confusion. “You wish for me to tread within your student’s dreams?”

Unblinking rose eyes stared back, fixed at some point just above Luna’s shoulder. “Yes. Please. If you don’t mind.” Ethereal mane laying flat against her pale neck, she shuffled her hooves nervously as she addressed her sister. “It’s... quite important. I am... concerned.”

Laying a downy blue wing across Celestia’s back, Luna nodded. “If it is that important to you, my sister, I shall trust your judgement. Please, let us return to your chambers and get you some sleep. You look... unwell.”

In a faraway voice, eyes still fixed on some point to the side of her sister, Celestia said, “No. No, I don’t think sleep shall find me this night, Luna.”

Staring into her sister’s bloodshot, horrified eyes with her own calm teal ones, Luna nodded. “I can cast a sleep spell. You need your rest to rule the day.”

“No... I don’t think that will work. I’m not sure anything will.” Slipping out from under her sister’s embrace, she left her befuddled sibling behind as she retired to her chambers. Watching her go, Luna’s eyes hardened.

“This will be rectified. Twilight Sparkle, I vow that whatever plagues thy dreams shall be banished henceforth!” With a regal air, she settled upon her starry cloud bed, eyes slipping closed in deep meditation as her mane and tail took on a life of their own, wrapping around her and filling her vision with stars. Each star, she knew, was a pony’s dream, and if she could just find Twilight’s...

Spike quietly trudged down the stairs, a pillow in one claw and a blanket in the other, slung over his back so as to keep it from snagging on the wood floor. He walked up to the prone form of Twilight, who had collapsed in the groove carved in the floor by her pacing, and gingerly lifted her head, sliding the pillow under it. Tucking her in gently, he smiled ruefully down at his adoptive big sister.

Twilight really needs to stop doing this. It costs entirely too much to refinish the floor when she has these outbursts. He yawned hugely, and rubbed his eyes with his claws. He curled up next to her, resting his head on his tail. He took one last look at Twilight, watching as she shifted slightly in her sleep, a peaceful smile on her face. I wonder what she’s dreaming about... hopefully it’s okay.

And so, sister and brother laid together as they had so many times before since Spike had hatched. It’s almost...nice he thought to himself, smiling as he drifted off. I kinda miss this. I just hope she calms down. She’ll see. The Princess will write back tomorrow, and everything will be fine.

It always is.

Thus comforted, the little dragon allowed himself to sleep, dreaming of mounds of ice cream and a certain white unicorn.

Twilight, twitching, dreamed of other mounds.

Flying through the astral plane, Luna’s sharp eyes kept a lookout for Twilight’s star. Spotting it in the distance, she drew closer, wings angling as she shot downwards towards it as its pulsing violet light reached out to her. Luna steeled herself.

Nervously, she allowed the dream to envelop her. She had sworn to not tread where her sister’s student slept out of a respect for their friendship. Breaking that trust, even for her sister’s concern, bothered Luna.

She had held Loyalty for a reason, after all.

After a few moments, she finally entered the dream of Twilight Sparkle. Eyes widening in an eerie mirror of her sister’s expression earlier, she stood stock still and simply observed. What she saw... was unfathomable.

Twilight was performing... unspeakable, vulgar acts with Princess Celestia. Twilight inserted her horn into one of Celestia’s orifices... and there was a sound reminiscent of a balloon deflating rapidly, followed by dual moans. Luna, wide eyed and shocked, coughed once before speaking.

“Nay. Nay. Nay. Nay.” She severed her connection with the dream and ceased her meditation with a start.

The Princess of the Night rose to her hooves and galloped out of her room, running down the hall to her sister’s chambers and ignoring the surprised looks of her guards. Bursting into Celestia’s chambers, she quickly sealed the door and laid a soundproofing spell over it for good measure. Turning to her sister and panting slightly, her wild-eyed stare met Celestia’s doleful one. “Sister! Sister... What did your student write you?” Celestia reluctantly picked up the unfurled scroll from her table with her magic, not bothering to rise from her cushion nor tear her gaze from the hearth, and floated it to Luna.

Hesitantly, Luna took it in her own magic, bringing it before her with more trepidation than any letter had given her before.

12th Moon, Second Day, ALR

My Dearest Princess Celestia,

My love for you has overflowed as of late, and I find myself dreaming by and by even as I try to focus on my studies. The lovely vision of your round posterior fills my mind, flanked on either side by the mark of your calling. Oh! How I wish to run my hooves over those gorgeous suns, to massage them, to serve your needs after a long day of the court.

Celestia, minx that you are, I know you have so many suitors. I also know you have denied each one as politely as your station requires. It is, for this very reason, that I write to you in this manner, hoping that maybe being straightforward would be more fruitful than the tangled dance we have had thus far. Yea, I love you, not as my mentor or my princess, but as my lovely playful darling.

“Oh Celestia!” That vow moaned and whispered and screamed across the land in those moments of love and devotion--how I wish to whisper it in your ear, to be the only one in the land to truly be able to mean it. To nip your ear, to feel your magic working against my nethers even as my own horn works at yours, to touch the divine. My love, my dear ‘Tia, I wish to thrust inside of you roughly, to let you feel the ridges and bumps of my horn as they coax out tiny little farts.

To feel that vibration along my horn would be sublime, to see your cheeks aflame with embarrassment and love and lust, to see them ripple and wave with every fragrant emission from your divine posterior. I would bask in the scent rising from your upturned ass, my love, and force even more out of you with each hard thrust. I would relish every single utterance, every moan from your front end and every windy expulsion from your back end.

Tell me true, ‘Tia, have you had no true love before? Have you never felt the touch of a mare against your divine fur, her tongue running up your slit to your glorious ass, plunging inside and revelling in every moment? Truly, I would.

Have you never, in your thousands of years of life and love, sat upon the face of your most loyal of subjects, allowing your long and wonderful farts to cover them as they lapped at your moist cunt? Has no quivering stallion thrust his pride into your tight arse, enjoying the feel of your walls vibrating around him? Has no mare ground her hoof into your clit, eyes alight as she viciously licked your ass?

It matters not to me, my dearest ‘Tia.

I beg of you, respond at your leisure, as I understand matters of court and matters of love need their own time to be attended to. But I beg you to not forget that this loyal subject’s time on Equestria is limited, unlike yourself, and I wish to spend every moment of it by your side. Feeling your fur, your downy soft wings, and that glorious, squishy arse, and looking into your beautiful rose eyes.

Your most faithful of students and hopefully of lovers to be,

Twilight Sparkle

Sister looked at sister, and both gave a knowing nod as wordless communication unique to siblings passed between them. The flames of the hearth rose up greedily, happily engulfing the well-written but frankly awful missive. The deed done, they nodded solemnly.

Clearing her throat, Luna eyed her sister as the mood of the room lightened with the... awful thing gone. “‘Tia. You need to somehow respond. You know your student will go mad if you don’t.”

Sighing, Celestia rubbed her temple with a hoof. “Please don’t call me ‘Tia for a while, Luna. Please.”

“Er. Of course.”

Celestia rose from her cushions, leaving her imprint behind as she trotted to her sister, eying her gravely. “Sister... you know what this means, yes? If Twilight is unable to dispense with this fixation, she will no longer be a viable candidate for ascension.”

The dark alicorn nodded thoughtfully. “That is true, sister. So... as her mentor, I suppose it’s your duty to help her with that.” Smiling brightly, she turned and trotted out. “Well! Good luck with that! See you tomorrow!”

Narrowing her eyes, Celestia sighed in exasperation before drawing her quill and parchment to herself.

My faithful student,

While I am flattered by your affections for me, I must respectfully decline. It is because of my station and my responsibilities to Equestria that I cannot take a lover. My love belongs to all my little ponies, not just one--no matter how special she may be.

I am proud of all of your accomplishments, and am here for you as your mentor and surrogate mother. You have done so much to help my little ponies, and I would be remiss in my duties to not acknowledge that. You must know that I do love you, Twilight, but it is not the love you desire.

Additionally, I must request a research assignment from you. I need you to study up on the bacteria that resides in the digestive tract, and understand how exposure to it, especially prolonged exposure, can affect a pony. I think this will be very important and helpful research for many of my little ponies across my land, and I request that you put this ahead of your friendship studies for now. However, you are not to use yourself as a test subject in your studies.

HRH

Princess Celestia of Equestria

Author's Note

Thanks to my darling blackguard MidnightDancer for helping me write this (or more writing most of it, silly silly girl).

To whoever has to read this for approval, I am so, so sorry.