As you sit there at the fire you've begun to call home you realize just how much your life sucks.You've died hundreds of times,have no friends except for the guy with iron pupils who stares at the sun,you barely ever have time for relaxation because of the thirty billion things that want to kill you,and to top it all off you think there's a pebble in your boot.But hey its not like it can get worse right.As soon as those words leave your metaphorical mouth the fire begins to crackle and burn with new intensity shifting colors rapidly with no rhyme or reason.Your ever brilliant mind tells you to touch the rainbow fire so of course you touch because following stupid trains of thought never led you anywhere bad.As your hand comes in contact with the flame your mind begins to slow and I pulled into the darkness as you slowly fade from consciousness five words escape your mouth:tase the third degree burns and your gone.
Like the title suggest i had to add this so i'm going to add some jokes and snippets of dialogue i hoped to put in
Celestia looks at you sympathetically "Anon I hope this Isn't to strange for you."
"Come now Tia I once fought flying laser shooting metal space squids.I think I can handle this."You say confidently.
If you want to know who the mystery mare is it's............................................................................[REDACTED]
Ha you thought I was going to tell you BUT you should be able to figure it out if you pay attention to the dialogue.
"Hey I prefer to call it snuggle with struggle."You say.
"All I know is that the best kind of cat fights are between two immortal goddesses"
"So where you come from you've punched a bear in its face,killed a giant floating hand,became a god and then realized there were voices in your head guiding you along,jumped the shark,went back in time to kill yourself and save the world,got turned into a newt,realized the chick you were saving is actually your daughter and the guy holding her captive is you if you had accepted the rebirth,saw dead people,destroyed an evil ring made from the fires of a volcano,stopped an evil gaactic empire ran by your father and kissed your sister,and realized you were within a dream within a dream within a dream and then realized you were being held captive by evil gnomes who wanted to steal your imagination but were controlled by a giant coffee bean that shot coffee out of its nipples.Is that right?"Twilight finishes,
As the blade pierces your abdomen you look into the eyes of the pony who stood by you throughout your adventures in Equestria. What was her name you feel it slipping away as the blood slips out of your body.
She whispers " I love you."
You succumb to the darkness and die.
As always you wake up by that damn bonfire.But why can't you remember how you died?Normally you remember it all so vividly.Where were you?It nags at your mind like a half finished story and then it's gone you get up and begin to walk away ready to continue on your quest.But it will always haunt you never remembering what happened all you remember are two things
"I love you."and the phrase "real magic."
But ah what do you care you die and live over and over again why should this nag you?
But it does and always will.
THE END
the i'm already tired of making this jokening
As you enter you feel a strange sense of dejavu.'So Anon where are you from?' "I hail from Lordran birthplace of Lord Gwyn the god of sunlight." After your answer she asked question after question about you and your adventures. Once she finished you began to ask your own questions after hours of learnening you began to become annoyed with her avoidance of obvious things such as nearby bonfires,where you can get estrus,what creatures you should be wary of,and of course where you can get meat. "Okay Twilight where can I get something to eat?" 'Well there's Sugarcube Corner and the café.' "No twilight I mean somewhere I can get meat" At those words twilight visibly paled 'You mean you actually eat meat like from ponies?' You could tell she was scared because she was reaching for something to most likely hit you with.You get up and walk towards her she proceeds to throw a large multitude of books at you eventually one knocks you unconscious
------------------------hours later------------------------
You wake up strapped to a chair in the basement with Twilight looking over some notes (perfect time for stupid comedy lets do this brain) " Twilight at least buy me dinner before we start with the kinky stuff." You chuckle at the joke but begin to regret it when Twilights mane literally catches aflame "Where's that sun praising moron when I need him" Book to the face for the second time.
------------------------elsewhere------------------------
Solaire looks around the bedchamber he shares with Celestia "I swear someone said my name" "oh solaair come and use your "lightning spear" on me." Celestia you unsatiable beast.
