School Daze

Nopony moved which surprised me. I expected them to try to stampede out the door and somepony big like Pipsqueak to tackle me to the ground. I had hoped for that, but I blame the educational system for their indecision. They just stared at me dumbly and waited for me to speak the truth about why? Why is a question that doesn’t have an easy answer.

I shut the door calmly, sank slowly into Cheerilee’s chair, and kicked my hooves up. I played it cool, but my breakfast wanted to come back up. I took some deep breaths and calmed my shit. I put the gun on the desk and it slid on the wooden desk. I crossed my arms and waited for the time to hit the mares and stallions again.

Twist took the hint and tried to scream. It did its work. I’m kidding. If it was Sweetie Belle who screamed, ponies would care. But it was Twist. It was too late; everypony had already seen their lives flash before their eyes. And Twist shut up after a minute or two. Probably cause her goody two-shoes act messed with her head. Some mare in the back laughed. Silver Spoon maybe. And surprisingly Pipsqueak had fainted. Fear of blood? Never would have guessed. As that great sentence goes: You learn something new everyday.

“This is known as getting it on.” I said.

Hurried footsteps echoed down the hall and somepony asked if some experiment in the science lab had gone off with an explosion. Right then the fire alarms went off. Like machines, my classmates rose and tried to exit this room. I just had to motion with the gun for all of them to sit and calm their shit back down.

“Don’t worry. Its just my locker. I set the thing on fire for the heck of it.”

I looked for my crush sitting calmly in her seat. Scootaloo. Her wings were the most impressive part of her. They gave her a sexy profile for they were twice the size of normal pegasi wings. Hey, don’t blame me for liking wings. I was always a wing girl. Plus her violet eyes and mane just blew my mind with how sincere she looked. And she usually didn’t give a shit about anything. I was so jealous that Sweetie and her were a couple.

The line of good little students was streaming out the doors of the school. I looked for the bird that I thought was my co conspirator, but it was gone. Maybe towards greener pastures and bluer skies but it ditched me. Birds are terrible friends.

I was startled when the door was quickly opened and Time Turner poked his head in. Time Turner was the history teacher that I heard while burning my locker and staring at its death-spasms. He was a well built stallion, but a loner. I never saw him with anypony and he was a quiet stallion. But that didn’t mean that he lacked admirers. Ponyville had almost no male ponies to fuck, so the straight mares pined away at this teacher.

“Everypony? Didn’t you hear the fire alarm? Wait- where’s Cheerilee?”

“Get out!” I growled.

He calmly stared me down. “What did you say?”

“Out.” I shot at the nice stallion and missed. It whizzed by him and took a decent chunk of his left ear with it. Gore was spattered on the door frame and Time Turner tried to staunch the flow of blood with a hoof. Nopony knew what was happening. I knew for I saw the Dark Thing in my peripheral vision goading me on. To everybody else, it must have seemed like one of those gangster movies where violence was promoted. I found those to be comedic for they always set them in Manehattan and it made me chuckle as I saw those idiots act like gangsters. Right now, I was the closest thing to a gangster that most of these ponies would ever see.

“There’s fire in the building, Babs-” Time Turner was always reliable on repeating information. History repeated itself as he tried to make me stop. What he didn’t know was that by this point I was just too far gone.

Rumble tried to talk him out of it. “Mr. Turner, Babs has a gun. I think you-”

My second bullet caught Time Turner in the throat. Blood spurted out of the new hole that I had created. What? I got bored with discussing the time of day with him and I told him to  get out. Its totally his fault. He collapsed to the ground. He wasn’t dead for I head a slow scramble away from me, but he was a goner.

Twist screamed again. Celestia, do I hate Twist right now. Do I have to repeat myself- Sweetie Belle was hot; Twist was not. Nopony wants to copy the ugly ones. I blame the herd mentality as well. I was right now the alpha, male or female, and what I said happened. They were too scared to question me. Plus, Twist needed to get laid. Bon-Bon was a great sister to her, but I really think that she was a bitch. Why else had I never seen Twist at a rave party, dropping acid like a pro, sexing the mares (or stallions), and having a good time. Cause Twist never went out on weekends.

“Diamond Tiara,” I watched DT as she stared back with hatred. “I need you to shut the door and lock it.”

“You don’t order me around.”

“Bitch, I do cause I have a gun. So lock it.” Diamond begrudgingly got up from her seat and locked the door. She daintily stepped over the growing pool of blood that was from my newest outlet of misplaced aggression.

Some idiot outside was yelling about my locker. “Hey its a locker on fire. Oh Faust. Call the hospital-” Gosh, do I hate idiots.

I saw Diamond Tiara sit back in her chair. Diamond Tiara, the bitch on campus. Rumor said that she was a slut too. Mares. Stallions. Total sex addict and the new face of what I see as the failing of the schools. Her eyes were done up in eye shadow and she always had a fake smile. I knew so because she had given up her small time bullying for outright fear mongering. New students had to survive the walk of hatred that she set up. Educational Conduct thought he was the ruler of the school, but I was staring at her right now. She had her own accounts to deal with. Drugs, sex, money, anything a junkie would want passed through her influence. We had a verifiable black market that ran under the administration’s nose. She had a good reason to be a bitch though; her dad owned most of Ponyville.

The Apples and the Riches. Ponyville’s rich and famous clans that founded the shitty town. I am an Apple, but I hate the town, so-

“What now?” Featherweight asked.

“Well- uh- I guess wake up Pipsqueak. Can’t get his messy coat even dirtier.” Silver Spoon giggle at that and blush. Oh Celestia, I forgot that it was that time of the year. Sex time. I counted the male to female ratio. Five stallions. Ten or more mares. Yeah, I think that this will be fun.

Rumble walked back to his buddy and began lightly smacking his face. Pipsqueak slowly opened his eyes and got up from his restful place. He must have had shell shock cause he looked dazed and had barely been able to take his seat.

“Hey in there.” Oh look its the principal. I guess I should try to shoot him in the head. I aimed my gun but the bastard ducked and crawled away screaming in fear. Guess he learned how to move again. The class watched this with interest as the old stallion ran away. They actually cheered as the principal ran screaming with his tail between his legs. I knew I had very little time before the Royal Guards were called. They dealt with this shit on a regular basis.

I didn’t know what to do. We watched as the news began to get passed around about our class. The whispered rumors of my mental breakdown and the terrible body count that I had already caused. They stood ever vigilant over the scene of the crime. They even got to see my fall to earth- but that came later.

City Hall’s fire alarm began blaring out its warbling cry.

“Its like the end of the world.” Scootaloo whispered.

I just waited for the carnival ride to stop spinning. It still hasn’t after all these years.