The clerk behind the desk laid the paper down neatly before her and folded her hooves on top of it before looking up at Trixie, or at least in the general direction of Trixie. She maintained a perfectly deadpan expression, but Trixie knew she was very impressed. “It says here that your experience is in ‘magic’.”
“That is correct,” Trixie said with a confident smile. She had this in the bag, there could be no doubt. “Trixie has Great experience with even the most Powerful magic,” she added with a tip of her old hat.
“Aha,” the clerk muttered without the least sign of interest, but that was just a ruse, Trixie knew. This pony was here to test Trixie’s resolve and confidence, of course. “Anything else you are especially good at? Anything practical, perhaps?”
Trixie looked over her shoulder at the ponies gathered behind her, all waiting for their turn to snatch up all the good jobs. She looked back at the clerk and pointed behind her. “Anything they can do, the Great and Powerful Trixie can do better!” There were several sounds of protest behind her, but Trixie ignored the rabble and slammed her front hooves down on the desk, staring straight at the clerk. “Whatever your need is, Trixie is your mare!” She held out a hoof towards the clerk.
The clerk gave Trixie and her hoof a perfectly empty look and reached into a pile. She pulled out a card and held it out for Trixie. “Go here. They’ll make good use of somepony like you.”
Trixie took the card and dropped back down from the table. She stood up straight and turned around with a flourish of her cape. “The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you!”
“Next!” the clerk said and shoved the paper on her desk into another pile.
Trixie trotted out into the daylight, happy to be back on track. She breathed in the fresh air and looked down at the card, reading out loud, “Vanhoover Recycling and Waste Management Plant. We make good use of trash—What the—!” Trixie spun around and glared back through the door.
The clerk looked past the current applicant and smiled brightly at Trixie.
* * *
“These here are the piles,” the foreman explained, gesturing at the vast mountains of trash. Calling them piles did them no justice. “Paper goes in one cart, metal in another, plastic—”
“—in a third,” Trixie muttered, still fuming at the indignity.
“You catch on quick, girl,” the foreman said and turned around to leave. “You’ll go far, I’m sure. Well, I’ve got work to do elsewhere. Enjoy.”
Trixie huffed and kicked an old can. “First a rock farm …” she grumbled and picked up an old newspaper in her magic. Her own face stared back at her from the front page with a wicked smirk and a certain dark amulet around her neck. Trixie groaned and shoved it into the paper cart. “One indignity after another!”
* * *
“… stand for this!”
Trixie picked up a pair of bottles and dropped them unceremoniously over her shoulder into the cart with a loud clatter of glass.
“I will make it back to the top, I swear! Even if I have to climb my way up through piles of …”
A heap of old scrolls went in another cart. Trixie pulled a broken birdhouse out of the pile and dumped it among the other rotten old wood she had gathered.
“Garbage. All of it garbage! Who recycles all this stuff anyway?” she complained as she dragged out a dirty old saddle. Something dislodged from the pile and rattled down the hill, coming to a halt by her hooves. Trixie dumped the saddle in the wagon behind her and picked up the object with a tired sigh, rolling her eyes. “Oh yes, and a dumb old lamp!”
Trixie dangled the old, dented oil lamp in the air. “Hah, I bet it has a stupid old genie in it too,” she scoffed and grabbed it in her hooves, giving it a resentful rubbing as she scrunched her face up in a childish expression. “Trixie wishes for a nice cold drink served by a handsome hunk of a stallion. Hah!” She threw the lamp into the pile of metal. “I just bet it would be one of those two little pea-brained colts instead, and the drink would be somehow awful too.” She rolled her eyes and picked up an old sock. “Rubbish!”
“Your drink, Mademoiselle?”
Trixie yelped and jumped into the air at the sudden voice. She spun around and stared at the charming smile and perfectly groomed mane of the stallion behind her. He held up a silver plate with a tall, frosty glass of lemonade. “What the … Oh, Trixie gets it. It’s some kind of lame joke,” she said. “Prank the new pony, is it?”
“Not at all, my Lady. I’m not one for jokes, unless that’s what you wish for, of course.”
Trixie turned and looked up at the floating pony on a cloud of smoke. She followed the trail of smoke down to the old lamp. “You have got to be kidding Trixie.”
“No kidding,” the genie said. “I’m the real deal, and when I say the real deal, I mean the real real deal. I pride myself on offering complete satisfaction with every wish, no tricks or strings attached. Three wishes, whatever you desire. Oh, and the drink was free. Consider it part of our customer service.”
Trixie looked back at the stallion with the drink. She huffed and picked up the glass, taking a small sip of the icy cold drink. Trixie composed herself, trying not to swallow the whole thing in one gulp after that first taste. “Hmph! Not bad. So you say Trixie can have any three wishes she wants?”
“That is correct,” the genie confirmed. “Any wishes at all. Full satisfaction or everything returns to how it was, and you get your wishes back. Can’t get a better deal.”
“So if Trixie liked, she could wish for infinite wishes?” Trixie looked at the genie incredulously. What kind of dumb genie would actually grant any wish?
“Absolutely,” the genie said and sat up. “Do you wish for infinite wishes?”
Trixie sipped the heavenly drink and tapped her chin thoughtfully. “So you can grant any wish, any wish at all,” she repeated. The genie nodded, and Trixie took another thoughtful sip. “You can really do anything?”
“Anything.”
A slow smile spread across Trixie’s face and kept growing. “Then Trixie has only one wish,” she said and looked up at the genie who waited patiently. “Trixie wants your power, but without any restrictions or dumb rules. No ‘somepony has to ask you to do it’ or living in a lamp or anything like that. That is what Trixie wishes.”
“As you wish,” the genie grinned and clapped his hooves. “Enjoy. You know how to get in touch if you have another wish or find yourself not entirely satisfied.” He tipped an imaginary hat and disappeared back into the lamp.
Trixie looked at her hoof and raised an eyebrow. She turned around and stared at the stallion still standing behind her. He looked around uncertainly as she pointed at him. “Trixie thinks she likes you better as a mare.”
The mare gulped and shook her head pleadingly.
Trixie smiled and nodded.
The mare looked down at herself and paled.
“Better. You can start by fetching Trixie another drink. Chop chop,” she said and clapped her hooves. Trixie watched the mare flee, then turned and looked up at the piles of trash. “And Trixie knows just where to put all this.”
Trixie clapped her hooves again, and all the trash vanished. She looked around at the empty lot and chuckled. The chuckle turned into a snicker and finally into a laugh. She leaned her head back and let out a hearty guffaw.
Elsewhere in Equestria, a very confused clerk stuck her head out of an old tire and looked down from the mountain of garbage which had appeared right beneath her hammock and now towered precariously above her garden, about a mile below her. She gulped and paled as she clung desperately to the swaying pile.
* * *
Trixie laughed. It was practically all she could do as the air rushed through her mane and cooled her back. The trees of the Everfree raced past beneath her in a blur. She caught her breath for a moment and leaned over to look down at the world below. Ponyville came into view. Tiny little dots all turned to stare up at her. Trixie’s smile threatened to split her head in two as she soared over the unimportant little village, smiling and waving down at everypony.
She spotted a certain purple dot. Trixie snickered and burst out laughing again as she turned sharply, racing close above the top of the treehouse. The wind in her wake blew through the leaves and branches, making the tree look like it was in the middle of a storm. Trixie turned and looked as the treehouse and village disappeared behind her. She lifted a hoof and waved her hat at the purple pony. “Watch in awe, Twilight Sparkle! Watch. in. awe!”
She turned around and smirked at the castle coming up ahead, getting slowly closer. The smirk turned to a frown. Trixie rolled her eyes. “This is taking way too long. Canterlot should come to Trixie, not the other way around,” she said and cheered as the castle sprang into clear view right before her. “Hah! Who ever said you needed faith when you have Trixie? Moving mountains … pfft, that’s nothing!”
Trixie slowed to a halt, hovering before the grand castle. “Knock knock!” she called.
“What is the meaning—” Celestia stepped out on the balcony of a tower and stopped dead as she looked up into a pair of gigantic yellow eyes in a face of stars. The gargantuan star bear hovered before the castle, held up by a pair of impossibly large wings. A horn the length of a flag pole extended from its forehead.
“Tut-tut, princess. The traditional response is ‘Who is it?’ ” Trixie said and patted the back of her hovering mount. “Say hello to your long-lost sister, Princess Bobo. You too, Luna! Get your sleepy painted flank out here and greet your homecoming sister!”
Luna appeared on the balcony next to her sister, still wearing a nightgown and snoring slightly. She blinked awake and looked around in blind confusion at the sudden daylight before noticing what was currently impossible to miss. “What is the—” Her eyes widened.
“Is that really all you two can say?” Trixie shook her head and stood up in her saddle. “Enough of this! Trixie hereby declares herself Queen of the World! Now bow before your queen!” Her voice echoed across the land and was followed by the sound of guards and ponies everywhere stopping in the middle of what they were doing to turn and bow down.
The two princesses blinked as they too found themselves bowing. “What the—” they said, echoing each other perfectly.
Trixie beamed and jumped off her bear, landing on the balcony before them. “You two need to work on your repertoire. Your lines are getting old very quickly.” She smiled and patted Celestia on the head before looking up to inspect the castle around her.
“Trixie thinks castles are so last season,” she said and shook her head. “This doesn’t suit the Great and Powerful Trixie. The world needs to be able to marvel at my glorious presence and bask in my all-powerful shadow. But never fear, little ponies; you know that Trixie can do better!” She spun around and clapped her hooves twice.
The castle and mountain disappeared. A giant statue of Trixie appeared in their stead, as tall as the mountain had been and glittering like pure diamond in the sun. The crystal pony stood on its hind legs, front legs raised in the air in dramatic fashion to hold up an extensive diamond disc with a golden throne in the center.
Trixie sat down on the throne and grinned. “Now this is how it’s done, little hayseeds.” She looked down at the two princesses staring at her, their mouths open, surrounded by the entire population of Canterlot, equally stunned. “You two,” she said, leaning back and waving an idle hoof at Celestia and Luna. “Get Trixie a cold drink with a little umbrella and a straw in it. Being Great and Powerfullest is thirsty work.”
* * *
“Trixie!”
Trixie bit down on a piece of exquisitely rich chocolate and licked her lips as she picked out other pieces, carefully studying each before settling on one in particular. After a moment of savoring the sweet taste, Trixie glanced up at the six ponies galloping across the court towards her. “Twilight Sparkle! What a lovely surprise,” she said and sat up eagerly, beaming down at them from her throne.
Twilight skidded to a halt in front of Trixie, glaring up at her. Her five friends stood behind her in support. “It’s Princess Twilight to you, Trixie!” Twilight said, her eyes flashing dangerously. Her friends joined her in the glare. “You’ve gone too far this time!”
“Oh, ho-hum,” Trixie said and yawned, waving a hoof. “The show has barely even begun, and already you neighsayers are complaining because Trixie dares to show a little talent and confidence. It’s like a broken record around here.”
“You always had more empty boasting than talent, Trixie,” Twilight continued as her horn began to glow brightly. “I don’t know how you did this, and I don’t care. You’re in for it now!”
“Yeah!” Her friends chimed in.
Trixie rolled her eyes and rested her head on a hoof. She watched the six ponies and brightened a little. “Oh, what lovely little necklaces,” she said and sat up again as the six ponies and their jewelry began to glow. Trixie held a hoof to her lips to hide a grin. “Ooh, and they do tricks too. This should be … entertaining.”
The light grew in intensity and a sudden flare and beam of prismatic light shot towards Trixie where she sat in her throne. Trixie’s eyes and grin widened as she gasped with delight. “Spectacular!” she exclaimed and clapped her hooves excitedly.
There was a soft series of pings and a splash of water. Twilight blinked as the light faded and her hooves touched back down on the stone. “What … just happened?” she said and turned around. She gasped as she looked around at five statues, each standing on one hoof like dancers, spitting out streams of rainbow-colored water.
Trixie continued clapping. “Brilliant performance! And such a lovely fountain of statues, just what every queen should have in her throne room. You have the thanks of your queen, Twilight Sparkle, for this gift.”
Twilight’s eye twitched as she spun around and glared at Trixie. “Y-you turn my friends back right now!”
“Ah ah!” Trixie waved a hoof and leaned back. “That’s not how you address your queen. Maybe if you learned to ask Trixie nicely.”
“W-what do you want?” Twilight cried. “Why are you doing this?”
Trixie picked up a chocolate and considered it lazily. “Trixie wants the world to love her, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie wants the whole world to stand in awe at her, to cheer and shower her in praise.” She smiled and put the chocolate down again as she looked up. “And Trixie wants to give you the honor of watching as she makes it happen.”
“Don’t believe the Great and Powerful Trixie?” Trixie stood up in her throne. “The whole world will love Trixie. Every pony, every griffon and … whatever, will love Trixie higher than they love even themselves! Except you, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie wants you to witness everypony’s love for her and know that none of them will ever love or admire you even half as much.”
“You can’t do that!” Twilight sputtered, looking desperately for some way to stop Trixie.
“Oh no?” Trixie sat down and lifted her hooves. “Watch, then, and be amazed! Watch as Trixie does the impossible!” She clapped her hooves together two times and smiled, her eyes never leaving Twilight. “I am The Great and Powerful Trixie, your undisputed and perfect queen!” she called out. “Whom do you love, my little admirers?”
A sigh and a gasp of awe went through the crowd as every eye watched Trixie with love and admiration, cheering her name in response. Trixie basked in their attention like a cat basking in the sun. “Yes! Ha ha!” She laughed and pointed at Twilight. “See? See how they love Trixie?”
Twilight stared at the crowds of adoring ponies and caught the two royal sisters looking lovingly at Trixie. “Y-you can't … That’s … That’s not possible!”
“Hah!” Trixie laughed. “Nothing is impossible when you have the amazing talent of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” She jumped off her throne and stepped up to Twilight. “So what is Twilight Sparkle going to do now, hmm? Are you ready to admit that Trixie is better than you at everything?”
“I … I …” Twilight looked back at her friends for help. Her eyes fell on Fluttershy. “You … You won’t win!” She said and looked back at Trixie with renewed certainty and a new challenge in her eyes. “Discord will stop you! Discord will make you pay for turning his first and only friend to stone!”
“Discord?” Trixie looked up thoughtfully, scratching her chin with a hoof. “Discord? Oh!” She clapped her hooves again. “You mean my new Minister of Order?”
Twilight stared as Discord appeared next to the throne, wearing a spotless suit and a pair of small round glasses on his muzzle. He huffed and looked around the room. “This place is a royal mess! This is no way to stand before your queen, ponies!” He snapped his claw and everypony was shoved into neat rows like troops before the throne with Twilight in front. “Better,” he proclaimed and stood next to Trixie, eyes straight forward like a soldier awaiting his orders.
“Much better, isn’t he?” Trixie grinned. “I told you, anything you can do, Trixie can do better! You turned him to stone, you even ‘reformed’ him, but only the Great and Powerful Trixie could make a model citizen of the Lord of Chaos!”
Twilight gaped. “I …”
“Giving up, Twilight Sparkle? Hmm?”
“I …” Twilight lowered her head, ears drooping. “I give up. I can’t defeat you. You are better than me in every way,” she said. “Please, I beg you, just let my friends go.”
Trixie’s grin grew impossibly wide. She lifted a hoof and the five ponies came to life in a sputter and splash of rainbow-colored water. “As you wish, Twilight Sparkle. I give you and your friends your freedom so that you can live in the knowledge that Trixie is better than you all combined!” She sat down on her throne and leaned back as she watched Twilight and her friends turn around, heads low and tails between their legs.
Twilight glanced back as she led her friends down between the rows of ponies silently admiring Trixie, hundred of eyes glazed over by unquestioned love.
Trixie snickered as she watched the princess. The snicker turned into a boisterous laugh as she failed to contain her glee any longer. Trixie felt the tears roll down her cheeks as she laughed and gave Discord an elbow in the side. The draconequus huffed and rolled his eyes before joining her with a stiff and joyless laughter of his own.
Trixie leaned her head back and laughed as she had never laughed before, holding her aching stomach as her mad cackling echoed loudly across the lands of Equestria. All around her the ponies joined in, laughing themselves to tears along with their beloved queen.
* * *
“Think we should do something?”
The foreman scratched his scruffy cheek and looked at the crazy blue unicorn rolling around on the ground, foaming at the mouth and cackling like a madpony while sparks of magic exploded around her. “Uh … yeah,” he said and winced.
“You should have warned her about the magical waste,” the other pony said. “Those fumes pack a nasty punch to the senses.”
“Mm, yeah. We’ve all been there, haven’t we?” The foreman nodded and wiped his brow. He looked at the other pony. “Let’s get the suits, then.”
“Poor thing’s gonna be sore when she wakes up.”
