Fight Scenes Are Magic: Pinkie Pie vs. King Sombra
It was Tuesday again. For Pinkie Pie, that meant one thing - her day off. And that meant it was time to go see her friends. Since she was friends with everypony in Ponyville, simple statistics indicated that she could count on at least one of them to be available today... but which one?
She didn’t have to think about it for too long before her tail twitched, pointing her towards the library. What luck! Pinkie thought; of all the friends she had, Twilight Sparkle was one of the best ones. And if her Pinkie Sense told her that Twilight wasn’t too busy today, then by golly, who was she to argue?
She pronked her way across town towards the library tree, admiring its latest additions from a distance. Twilight was royalty now, and had the wings to prove it, but nothing short of the a-pony-ocalypse would get her to move out of Ponyville. So the newly-renamed, newly-renovated Golden Oaks Library And Royal Palace remained Twilight’s home, much to everyone’s delight.
It wasn’t long before she finally arrived at the door... but, as usual, the same old dilemma resurfaced in Pinkie's brain. Technically, the library was a public space, and Pinkie had every right to simply walk in. But at the same time, barging into ponies’ homes was a big no-no. A few of Pinkie’s Ponyville friends had demoted her to “casual acquaintance” after she had burst through the door one too many times.
Of course, Twilight was different. She knew that the lavender alicorn wouldn’t hold it against her. But that didn't mean she shouldn’t at least attempt to be civil.
Before Pinkie could ruminate any further, a frustrated groan emanated from the room behind the door, causing her to furrow her brow. Frustrated groans could only indicate one thing - Twilight was hard at work on her latest research project. That was yet another dilemma.
Her Pinkie Sense had indicated to her that going to see Twilight was the right thing to do. But if the mare herself was busy with something or other, then why go to the library? She only contemplated the thought for a few moments before deciding to just roll with the punches.
Once again, Pinkie’s intuition was correct. Upon entering the library, she could see piles of books taller than she was, stacks of vellum sheets and rolls of scrolls depicting facts and figures that she lacked the intellect to comprehend, spilled ink leaving deep-set stains in the wooden floor... Yep. Twilight was busy.
She tip-hooved around the maze of research materials, navigating her way to the center of the room, where Twilight had unconsciously constructed a little book fort. Summoning up all her stealth, she crept past the sleeping dragon guard into the fort, approaching its lone occupant from behind. She leaned in close and took in a deep breath.
“Hey, Twilight!”
The lavender alicorn yelped, and the quill suspended in her magenta aura dug a nasty hole into her latest set of notes. Twilight whirled around, eyes murderous, before she realized who had disturbed her. “Hello, Pinkie Pie,” she muttered, only the slightest hint of seething hatred present in her voice.
Pinkie grinned. “What’re you up to?”
Twilight sighed, understanding Pinkie’s inquiry as the death-knell for any chance at being productive today. “I was working on a secret project - a joint venture between Equestria and the Crystal Empire.” Her eyes flicked towards a nearby table, where a heavy cloth had been draped over a large box.
Pinkie’s curiosity kicked in almost immediately. “So, top-secret Princessy stuff? Can I see?” She sidled over to the covered table, batting at the cloth with an idle hoof. She hooked a bit of it up and begin to lift, ever so slightly...
“No, Pinkie.” Twilight used her magic to lift Pinkie Pie bodily into the air and set her down in front of her. “Nopony is supposed to see that. This is a favor for Cadance and Shiny.” She lifted a hoof to whisper conspiratorially into Pinkie’s ear. “Not even Celestia knows,” she said, sounding almost giddy at the thought.
Pinkie pouted. “Well, if you were trying to convince me not to look at the box, you’re not doing a very good job.”
Twilight slapped her hoof between her eyes. “Ugh. Forget about the box. What’s going on, Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie put a hoof to her lips. “I came here because... well, my Pinkie Sense told me to!” Twilight’s lips tightened as she nodded solemnly. They’d been down this road before. “There’s a reason I’m supposed to be here today. I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.” Pinkie shrugged her shoulders and smiled apologetically.
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, glad that today’s deviation from schedule was only a minor one. “Well, I’d love to help you out, but I’m occupied for the moment. I’ll be finished up in about an hour. There’s just a few more readings I have to take today. Do you mind waiting?”
“Nopie-lopie!” Pinkie said, settling down on her haunches and slapping a beatific grin on her face.
Twilight opened her mouth, only to close it again. “Uh... do you mind waiting outside?”
Pinkie’s face fell. “Party pooper,” she said with an air of finality as she cantered towards the door. Behind her, she could hear Twilight retrieve another sheaf of parchment and settle back down into Work Mode. She stopped short of the door, a devious idea worming its way into her head. “Hmm. Did you remember to recalibrate the apertures on the nine-and-a-quarter inch catadioptric telescopes?”
“Recalibrated them this morning,” Twilight answered automatically.
Pinkie huffed. “Well, uh, isn’t today the second Tuesday of the month? That’s reshelving day, isn’t it?”
“Reshelving days were moved to Sundays to accomodate for my new royal duties.”
“Uh, well, did you remember to... uh... counter-balance the... hmm... the waveforms on the... er, quantum mana reconfigurators?” Pinkie managed.
Twilight yelped, her quill and clipboard falling out of the air. “Ah, I knew that I had forgotten something!” In a flash of light, the alicorn was gone.
Pinkie smirked, rubbing her hooves together. “I can’t believe that-”
Twilight returned in a flash, making Pinkie freeze in place. “Which ones?”
“Oh, the ones in the basement. Way in the back.”
“Oh, shoot, it’s always those. Thanks, Pinkie,” the lavender mare said absently before vanishing again.
“I can’t believe that worked!” Pinkie Pie finished, her grin stretching from ear to ear. She dashed back into Twilight’s book fort, heading straight for the table, and ripped the cloth off of it.
She let out an audible gasp. The box wasn’t a box, it was a glass case. And the case had only one item inside - one that Pinkie would never have expected to see. It was a long, black, curved object, tipped with red on one end. “Th-that’s... King Sombra’s horn!” Pinkie instantly recalled. “But I thought we destroyed him!”
Almost as if responding to her, the horn twitched.
Pinkie watched, fascinated. “Is that supposed to happen?”
The horn began to turn in place, spinning like a broken compass and crackling with black energy.
“That’s not supposed to happen!” Pinkie cried out in alarm. “Twilight, get up here, now-”
An errant bolt of dark magic shattered the glass case and the horn launched itself forward like a bullet. Pinkie yelped at a sudden, searing pain in her chest. She looked down, only to find Sombra’s horn had impaled itself into her heart. “...oh.”
The horn hummed with black lightning as Pinkie’s senses faded to nothingness.
Pinkie’s eyes fluttered open. “Oh, horsefeathers,” she moaned as she struggled to her hooves. “Note to self: next time Twilight tells me to leave something alone, I’d better listen.” She stretched out, looking about the room - only to do a double take out of shock.
This was not the library.
As she gazed at the black crystals scattered around the ornate, circular room, a voice rang out, smooth and masculine. “Hello, Miss Pie.”
The voice was unfamiliar, but she would be an idiot not to know who it belonged to. “Sombra,” Pinkie replied, “we meet again.” She turned around to see the dark stallion in the flesh, adorned in his full regalia and seated atop a black crystal throne. His great, black horn was completely whole, and definitely not detached from his head.
Sombra’s expression changed for a moment, curiosity setting in. “Have we met before?” he asked, genuinely confused. “Forgive my ignorance, then.”
Pinkie sputtered. “Of course we’ve met before! We defeated you in the Crystal Empire when you were trying to take it over again!” Realization dawned on her face. “Except... that was mostly Spike - you probably remember him, the little purple dragon that found the Crystal Heart. Or maybe you remember the pink alicorn crystal princess? Her name's Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and she was Twilight's foalsitter! Oh, you might remember Twilight, too - she's the purple unicorn that was trying to stop you in the first place. The whole Crystal Fair thing was her idea, pretty much. In fact, maybe you-”
Sombra cleared his throat. “Miss Pie, perhaps you-”
“Although, come to think of it, I don't even know if you'd remember all of that. I mean you were all RRGH ARGH CRYSTALS the whole time, like you weren't all there. It's like the way Mr. Cake acts before he gets his coffee in the morning, except with some megalomania on top of it. You probably don't know Mr. Cake. But then again, you knew that I was Miss Pie - heehee, nopony calls me that - so you probably got into my brain somehow... Oh, since you're in there, can you tell me where I put Gummy's favorite squeaky toy? I lost it a week ago and-"
“Miss Pie,” Sombra growled.
Pinkie remembered herself, and blushed furiously. “Uh, what do you want from me anyway?”
Sombra smirked, finally glad to get a word in edgewise. “You, Pinkie Pie, are the single happiest pony I have ever laid eyes upon.”
“Oh. Thanks!” replied the pink party pony.
“I don’t like that,” Sombra quickly added.
Pinkie face-faltered. “Ah. Well, no thanks then.”
Sombra growled again. “I am going to enjoy crushing your spirit, little one.” When Pinkie Pie did not respond, he continued, trying to maintain his momentum. “With your mind destroyed, I can possess your body and-”
“Oh, no no no,” Pinkie cut Sombra off with a wave of her hoof. “No body-snatching plots today. I think we’ve had quite enough of that lately - and personally, I don’t want to deal with that kind of identity crisis.”
“Enough,” Sombra hissed, “Do not presume to-”
“It isn't even all that original, you know?” She gave Sombra the most sidelong of glances. “Wooo, I've come back from the brink of death to plunge the world into darkness and despair under my rule! You ever meet Black Snooty? She's a meanie pony like you, except underneath the evil part she's actually Princess Luna... I guess you have met her, then, haven't you?”
"Shut up,” Sombra muttered under his breath.
“Come to think of it, if you and Nightmare Moon ever met up, then that would be something, wouldn’t it? Two deep, dark villains, suddenly faced with somepony who understands them... who sympathizes with them... Slowly, steadily, their hatred blossoms into something more passionate, more pure...” Pinkie Pie hopped in the air. “Oh my gosh! This is my new OTP! But what to call you?” She put a hoof to her lips. “Nightmare Sombra? Sombramoon? Nightmare Sombra? Sombramoon? Chimicherrycha-”
A crack of lightning and the sharp smell of ozone permeated the air as Pinkie Pie felt herself get blown off of her hooves. She sailed through the air and collided with the far wall, slumping to the floor in a heap. Pinkie instinctively clutched at her chest - when she lifted her hoof to examine it, she was shocked to see a gaping hole, dripping not with blood, but with a pungent black ichor.
“You talk too much,” Sombra said. Pinkie could see the lingering traces of black magic surrounding his horn. “Now go ahead and surrender like a nice little pony.”
Pinkie’s legs wobbled as she dropped to her knees, succumbing to the searing pain.
“Yes, Miss Pie. Despair. Fester in your sorrow as your heart is surrounded by the darkness.”
Pinkie’s head sunk to the cold, crystalline floor. It took all of her energy to speak again. “Nope,” she managed. “No can do.”
Sombra stiffened in his seat. “You dare-”
“Yes, Sombra, I dare.” Pinkie slowly rose to her hooves. The hole closed, and the pain ebbed away. “You’re not going to win. Not like this.”
Sombra raised an eyebrow appraisingly, genuinely impressed. “Your appearance belies your strength,” the dark stallion admitted. With that, he rose to his armored hooves. With a practiced motion, he shed his blood red cloak, allowing Pinkie Pie to see taut, bulging muscles underneath a coat of charcoal grey.
Pinkie Pie marveled at the sight for a moment. Sombra made Big Mac look like Pipsqueak by comparison.
“If magic will not work,” Sombra continued, cracking his neck and stepping off of his dais, “then we shall do this the old-fashioned way.”
“...old-fashioned way?” Pinkie dared to ask.
“I stomp you into the ground and make you beg for release.” Sombra’s grin was predatory.
Pinkie Pie struggled to swallow, her throat dry. “Hmm. Brutal.”
Sombra crouched low and pushed off the ground with all his might, ready to pounce. Survival instinct alone allowed Pinkie to dodge to her left, and Sombra crashed down, shattering the crystalline floor beneath him.
He turned quickly, pivoting on his right hoof, attempting to skewer Pinkie onto his long, curved horn. But the pink mare reared onto her back hooves and deflected Sombra’s thrust in an attempt to throw him off-balance. Now, all she had to do was-
Pinkie coughed violently as a heavy hoof sunk into her stomach. She doubled over, collapsing on the ground, Sombra standing over her in triumph. “Foolish mare. Do not attempt to fight back, you’ll only cause yourself more pain.”
Pinkie let out a noise. Sombra leaned in, attempting to hear her - only to be dumbfounded.
She was laughing.
“Ha,” Pinkie blurted out, rising slowly to her hooves again. “Ha, ha, ha.” Her grin lacked its usual vigor - instead, her eyes shone with bravado and righteous fury. “That was a really good punch. You’d give Applejack a run for her bitbag.”
Sombra simply stared, unable to process what was happening.
“Let me try.”
Before Sombra could react, Pinkie lunged forward, putting all of her weight onto her left side and delivering a strong right hook. The force sent Sombra sliding on his back several feet.
As he struggled to right himself, Pinkie chuckled, looking at her own hooves. “I guess I was right after all. I’m still in the library, and your horn is still jammed into my chest. This is all in my head. Which means...” She glared at the invader with new fury. “I’m the one in control here.”
Pinkie watched Sombra carefully. He seemed unfazed by Pinkie’s recent discovery - in fact, he almost looked happy about it. “Very astute. You are full of surprises, Miss Pie.”
Pinkie bristled as the very air seemed to darken. “Th-thanks for the compliment,” she said, trying to maintain her momentum. “M-maybe you aren’t so bad after all.”
“Oh, no, no,” Sombra countered, waving a hoof. “I’m quite despicable.” His horn pulsed again, and the air grew even heavier. “Do you feel that energy, Miss Pie?” He smiled as Pinkie nodded silently. “I’ve had decades of experience with wills even stronger than yours, so I know a thing or two about subjugation. You’ve already lost.”
Pinkie struggled to open her mouth, but couldn’t find the will to do so under Sombra’s oppressive aura.
“There is darkness deep within your soul, Miss Pie, just as with everypony else.” He took confident strides towards the helpless mare. “Of course, you do such an excellent job of hiding it behind a facade of boundless cheer. You’ve built yourself up upon that happiness...”
Pinkie groaned audibly, unable to resist any further. Her mane and tail fell out of their usual wild curls, hanging limp in front of her face.
“But I know how to take it away.”
Pinkie slumped to her haunches, her head hanging low. A sigh of utter despair passed from her lips.
“And without that spirit... without that armor... you will have no choice but to surrender.” Sombra was finally upon her, tall and dark against Pinkie’s shriveled body. He reached forward with a hoof to stroke Pinkie Pie’s iron-flat mane. “Give in to your darkness, Miss Pie.”
For the second time, Pinkie let out a noise of protest. Sombra leaned forward, ready to relish the despair of his latest victim. He watched in sadistic glee as Pinkie craned her head back.
And then she snapped her head forward, delivering a headbutt with enough strength to knock Sombra onto his own haunches. “You don’t know anything about me, do you?” Pinkie said to the stunned unicorn, her voice acidic in tone.
“H-how did-”
Pinkie rose to her hooves for the third time. She tossed her head back to get her limp mane out of her eyes and based out, poised to strike. “Do you know who I am? What I stand for?”
Sombra leapt to his hooves again, and the pair stared into each other’s eyes, neither one willing to make the first move.
“I’m a bearer of an Element of Harmony... the Element of Laughter,” Pinkie continued, glaring with blue steel at her opponent. “I don’t pretend to know anything about how magic or destiny works... but when my Element chose me, it wasn’t at random. I’ve always been the Element of Laughter... ever since I earned my cutie mark.”
Sombra growled as he felt Pinkie’s presence in the room keeping him at bay.
“Do you know what laughter is, King Sombra?” Pinkie asked.
The dark stallion dared not answer.
“It’s energy... positive energy, mostly. It’s something you try and try to hold back but then it all comes bursting out at once and you can’t stop it, no matter what you do.” Pinkie grinned again, but the expression did not reach her eyes. “That’s why I’m so happy all the time. It’s all the energy. I can’t help but let it out by laughing, throwing parties, jumping around, doing impossible feats, annoying the heck out of all my friends...” Her smile faded. “But you had to go and take that part away.”
Sombra’s eyes widened.
“Now all that energy has nowhere to go but inward.”
The pair remained poised in silence, Pinkie’s positive aura a perfect mirror of Sombra’s. They stayed that way for countless moments... and then Pinkie twitched.
Sombra roared to life, ready to attack - but the mare was already gone.
“Too slow,” Pinkie snapped, and she leapt up with an outstretched hoof, making contact with the underside of Sombra’s jaw, shattering it on impact and sending him flying skyward.
Pinkie did not give chase, instead waiting for Sombra’s ascent to slow, stop, and reverse. The stallion crashed to the floor, roaring in pain but unable to communicate it properly.
“It’s a good thing you’re here, really,” Pinkie continued, “because I’ve got a lot of energy to burn off.” Her grin caused even the great king to shrink away in fear. “I’ve always wanted a playmate.” With that, Pinkie Pie vanished from sight.
Sombra’s horn cracked with dark magic as he summoned a barrier of black crystal spires all around him. He looked about wildly, trying to find his opponent-
“Too slow again.”
Before he could turn around, Pinkie stretched out her back hooves, delivering a double-barreled kick that sent Sombra crashing through his own crystal shield. She leapt up and landed on him as he skidded across the polished crystal floor.
Sombra turned to mist underhoof, causing Pinkie to stumble just a bit and allowing the stallion to regroup. He returned to his true form across the room, horn already burning black with energy. With another sizzling crack, he fired off a barrage of lightning bolts.
Pinkie turned and ran towards Sombra, turning and leaping to dodge the bolts. They struck the floor and walls behind her, littering them with newly grown black crystal.
Sombra fired off one last blast, confident that Pinkie was too close to dodge, but she instead deflected it with a hoof, sending it crashing into his crystal throne and shattering it to smithereens.
Sombra attempted to leap away, but before he could do so, Pinkie grabbed hold of his horn and shifted her position, putting him in a firm headlock. She applied just enough pressure to his broken jaw to keep him from focusing on his magic.
“In the real world, this horn of yours is giving me a bit of trouble,” Pinkie began, even as Sombra struggled to escape her lock. The air lightened considerably, and her mane and tail returned to their usual bouncy curls. “But I think I’ve found the way to get rid of you for good.” She pressed down against Sombra’s horn, harder and harder until the stallion began to cough up black blood. She added more and more pressure, straining her hoof until...
With a satisfying snap, Sombra’s horn broke off of his head, clattering to the floor and shattering on impact. The stallion roared his pain and defeat, even as his very form seemed to melt away in a flash of blinding light-
Pinkie’s eyes fluttered open as her vision finally cleared. She squinted at the blinding light coming from the flashlight Twilight was waving in her eyes. “Ow, could you turn that off, please?” she grunted.
Twilight tossed the torch aside and wrapped Pinkie up in her arms and wings. “Oh, thank goodness you’re alright!” She squeezed hard, rocking the pink mare back and forth. “I heard you yell and I teleported back up here, only to find Sombra’s horn embedded in your chest and your eyes completely blank...” Twilight put Pinkie down to get another good look at her eyes. They shone with their usual brilliance, perhaps with a little bit of fatigue behind them. “What happened?”
Pinkie sighed and smirked. Her gaze turned to the floor, where the shattered remnants of Sombra’s horn lay smoldering. “I’ll tell you all about it in a bit, Twi,” she replied. “But let's just say... I think I've had enough fun for one day.”
Author's Note
Is there an [Action] tag? There ought to be an [Action] tag.
