Bittersweet
It was the first day of summer, I remember. That day when the foals got out of school and cheered loudly in the streets of various towns and cities. The sun shone brightly, casting its intense light and warmth to the ground below it. Birds with newly hatched chicks bustled and sang with mirth and optimism. Even the grass seemed to have gotten a shade greener for the occasion.
But for all it was worth, it might as well have been the storm of the millennium. Where everyone saw clear skies, I saw gray gloom. Where they heard birdsong, I heard laments. Where they felt happiness and joy... I felt pain. I sat in the park in a rather secluded area on a wooden bench. The old wood comforted me little as I sat crying alone. My tears, searing with pain, dripped steadily from my stained cheeks. I struggled to keep my breathing regular, but failed miserably. Harsh sobs racked my body as I relived the most painful three minutes of my life.
--
It was a pleasant surprise to see my sister-in-law and old foalsitter, but when she didn't sing with me at our greeting, I knew something was very wrong. I looked behind her and around the corners of the door for my brother, but there was no trace of him.
Something forced me to choke out, "Where's Shiny?"
The instant I asked, the alicorn lunged in and hugged me tightly, crying into my shoulder. I knew exactly what she said without words. I didn't have to ask, nor did I have enough strength left in me to.
"He's..." my sister-in-law cried, "...h-he's dead..."
Like a glass window shattering from a sonic boom, or a vase hitting the ground at terminal velocity, my heart exploded into minuscule shards. Sharp, constricting pain gripped my throat and heart together. Tears boiled up from the corners of my eyes, dripping to the ground almost like a waterfall. My knees buckled and collapsed beneath the lead weight of distilled heartache.
Something forced me to my hooves. I don't know what it was, but it was no outside force. It wasn't anger, nor excitement, as neither were prevalent emotions in my heart-now-broken. But whatever it was, it was strong. It snapped me forward into a breakneck sprint. I clamped my eyes shut to keep the tears locked away, but they came anyway, leaving behind me a trail of tear-stains in the dusty Ponyville streets. I cared not where I was going, so long as it was far away from judging eyes and pity.
--
But that was a week ago. I kept coming here, every day before dawn, not leaving until dusk. I stayed up all night, crying from nightmares that Luna never saved me from. I shunned all attempts at company, even going so far as to cast wards over my spot to keep everypony away. Even the mare I loved: Fluttershy. But it was a reasonable reaction in my mind. My deepest nightmare had come true, and I couldn't bear the thought of pity. It wasn't their right to feel my pain.
I walked home the instant I saw dusk descending from the horizon. It was silent and dark, as I had become over the past week. No lights shone in the windows, nor from the street lamps. No crickets chirped. No cicadas whined. No early owls hooted. My hooves didn't even scuff the ground enough to be heard.
I reached my home just as the sun touched the horizon, stepping in just before the first rays of dusk could touch my coat. A voice greeted me, "Twilight..."
I didn't answer my marefriend's call. I didn't trust myself to keep venomous tears out of my voice. Pain made me say hurtful things, and I didn't want to hurt her.
She stood up from her seat on the couch in the common and ambled slowly towards me, staring at me with teary eyes. "Twilight, it's been a week... Please talk to me..."
Without noticing or realizing it, I snapped, "And talk about what? How my brother is dead?! How my life got turned upside down in ten seconds?! I don't think you understand, Fluttershy! I just lost my family! I'm the last Sparkle! I'm the last one, and... and..."
She wrapped her wings around me and pulled me into a hug, where I promptly broke down into yet more tears.
"Today, it's just us. I can't take another day without you, worrying about you. I need you," she whispered softly, pecking my cheek affectionately.
"I-I'm sorry," I sniffled. "I don't think I can..."
"I need you, Twilight," she insisted firmly. "We've been together for four years, long enough to know that you can manage this. You'll make it through this. So let me help you through this."
I hesitated. She was right, but I was proud when in pain, and often refused help because the burden was mine alone to bear. She turned my chin up, forcing me to look deep into her hypnotic blue eyes. I caved, "Fine." She squeezed me tightly for a moment, expressing her joy with an adorable squee. It made me giggle for the first time in what felt like years, and lifted the ponderous frown from my face. "What shall we do?"
"What do we always do?"
--
We departed the library immediately, taking to the streets. Everything was gray and indistinguishable in the last few minutes of twilight. Pink was gray, yellow was gray, white was gray. But there was a unique beauty to it all. Though monochromatic, everything blended together exceptionally well. Colors that would normally clash cooperated in the gray, melding together to accent each other subtly. It made roses compliment sunflowers and wood beams compliment the white walls of buildings. Everything stopped fighting for attention of the eye. And thusly, all was calm.
We meandered slowly through the compacted dirt streets of Ponyville as an elderly couple would. We embraced our old friend Silence, greeting him with warm smiles, though mine was still weak enough to be on its deathbed. I breathed deeply and consciously, drawing each one as though it would be my last. For all I knew, I could die just as suddenly as my brother...
We arrived at The Teapot, our usual spot for tea. Fluttershy had three featured blends that she got for free there because she made them. As we stepped inside, we noticed only one other pony there besides the barista, who immediately knew who we were and what drink we'd want at this hour of the evening. We sat down at our usual table for two, simply enjoying each other's company. It wasn't an oppressive nor uncomfortable silence in the teashop. It was soft, like her mane.
"You know, I've been thinking about something for a while now..." she murmured, staring off into space.
"What about?" I asked, knowing she was going to guide the conversation however she saw fit.
"It's been a year since I first thought of it," she mused. "Perhaps I should have carried it out sooner..."
"It may not be too late," I answered. "Whatever it is, do it."
The barista set down our steaming beverages, offering a soft apology for her interruption. I set a bag in my cup to steep.
"Maybe it is time..."
From then on, we were silent. A few other patrons stopped by the teashop, most of them poets I recognized from all of the Poetry Nights I'd attended with my beautiful pegasus lover. They ordered their own drinks as we sipped ours. They brought out paper and quills and began writing their various works, while we sat in the quiet with light smiles on our faces.
--
The sun had descended far below the horizon, and the full moon had come out. However, the glow of the moon didn't quite make it through the dense clouds that had been placed above Ponyville. Beneath the clouds, it was dark. The warm rain, lightly drizzling, was picking up its pace, each drop slightly larger than the last. Fluttershy nudged me playfully before darting off like a foal. I stared for a moment before launching myself in pursuit. We splashed through the accumulating puddles, spraying mud everywhere we went. We giggled and squealed like schoolfillies. Every step pumped my heart faster and faster and accelerated the growth of my smile. Eventually, the world stopped existing, and I stopped caring where she was going. All I wanted was to follow her lead.
We weaved our way into the park, squealing and laughing in the pouring rain. All of the built up mud washed itself off from the mild shower we stood in. We slowed down on the miniature marshland the grass had become, stopping to enjoy the rain on our faces as we looked to the sky. Every drop felt eerily like my own tears, but somehow different. They didn't make me feel sad, nor hopeless. I couldn't quite put my hoof on it.
Weightless. The sudden feeling of not being on the ground snapped me to reality very quickly. I kicked a little bit before I could stop myself. I felt my marefriend's strong but gentle grip holding me, lifting me up towards the quilt of clouds. One look at her face showed Dash-like determination and focus. She was still the same adorable mare I'd fallen for, but I could tell that there was something so earth-shatteringly gigantic on her mind.
As soon as we passed through the clouds, I thought it prudent to cast the cloud-walking spell I'd learned all those years ago. As soon as I did, she spun us around, whipping the moisture from our bodies with the centrifugal force. Within seconds we were dry as a book. When we stopped spinning, she slowly descended and settled us down on the clouds.
She glowed with the pale radiance of the full-moon's light. Her mane, her tail, her eyes... Her gorgeous, blue eyes... The moon lit them ablaze, empowering her gaze. I fell back on my rump, unable to look away.
"Please stand up..."
My body obeyed before my mind processed it.
"Twily... I've been thinking about us a lot lately... and... I've had a lot of great memories with you. You've taught me how to love by loving me. You've gotten me out of my shell. And... I'm really thankful for that..."
Oh Celestia there's a but coming up... I mentally panicked. I felt tears threatening to rush forth from the corners of my eyes.
She knelt down, holding up a puny yellow feather, "And that's why I want to ask if you'll marry me..."
In all truth, I had not seen that coming. I'd honestly thought that she was going to... No. Don't think about that. It won't happen. But I wasn't prepared in the slightest for her proposal. My mind flooded with her question, and I swam in it for what felt like an hour. My mind had no answer. So my body took over, "Y-ye... Yes!"
I lunged in and kissed her, pouring every ounce of joy she'd just injected me with back into her. But that failed too. For every drop of love and refined happiness I gave her, she put four back in me. The tears that had earlier threatened to leak from heartbreak now did so from pure elation. I felt my heart race with my mind. I felt my hooves leave the clouds. Once again, the feeling of her strong hold made itself apparent, but this time, I returned the embrace.
Though I lost my brother, no, the last of my family, I thought of it now regrowing. Though I'd been depressed, it had been vanquished by my angelic fiancée. That last thought before I succumbed to the joy was bittersweet. Though the forest burned, one tree had made it through the inferno. And from the fertile ashes of the aftermath, I knew that the forest would regrow.
Love magic worked in strange ways. It was but a matter of time before it visited us.
~~The End~~
