The Story of a Dangerous Edgy Noscoper
One sexy little day, XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX was playing his first person shooter vidya games, doing the sexy quickscopes, he was in the top of his Call of Duty and Counter Strike clans, he felt like he was the boss, doing 720 no scopes off the ladder doing stalls and shit. Little did he know he was gonna get wrecked hard. (fo’ real)
There was one little secret about XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX, he used his modded Xbox controller for the smoothest gaming (like a scrub-a-dub-in-a-tub) and we all know using console controllers are for losers, and they should be hanged and burned (truth), he was playing on his favorite Call of Duty map: Shipment, that’s right, he plays CoD 4 for the sexy lag switch ladder stall no scopez, (what a stupid kunt) He noticed this one user join his server under the name: ‘XxX1d0||7t4k317upd4p00p312. He was pwning XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX.
“YO DUDE FUCK YOU, I’M GONNA HACK YA’ IF YOU DON’T STOP KILLING ME” XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX screamed.
“Ey mate, stop getting mad over a video game” XxX1d0||7t4k317upd4p00p312 retorted obviously trying to make him more mad.
He threw his microphone to the ground, “AH SCREW THIS SHIT!” and then ragequit.
This was rather prone for XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX, he would always ragequit when someone was kicking his virtual ass, he got off of Call of Duty, he started up Counter Strike, he was always amazing at it, even when he wasn’t quickscoping, so he obviously wouldn’t have any problems with scrubs beating him.
He was browsing some servers when he came across a certain server named as_equestria, it looked very cartoonish and girly, which was XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX’s bane, his manliness always averted him from things like this, but, he told his psyche to screw itself, and he joined.
XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX had a plethora hacks and mods for the game, so he decided to use them, besides, the anti-cheat system never really worked anyways, he entered the game and immediately revolted at the cuteness that was this horrifying horrifying map.
“Maybe coming here wasn’t really a good idea” he thought to himself.
“Ah fuck it, I’m not a pus- what the flippity fucking hell is that?” He looked in the distance and saw a little stupid town.
He saw a sign in the distance, he ran up to it and read it out loud.
“Ponyville: Population 884... Well shieeet, I’ve never seen a server that large before!”
XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX ran to the small town somewhat excited and scared, he expected a total ground war going on in there, but, he didn’t hear any noises, infact it was so quiet he could only hear the birds and his footsteps.
He entered Ponyville with a dumbfounded look on his face, not only was it so quiet, there was absolutely nothing here!
“Eh, I bet they’re camping! No wonder it was so quiet and empty here!”
XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX looked around left and right and up and down, searching for someone or something to kill.
He saw a high tower with a ladder, he immediately thought about the 360 noscopes he could get here, so, he climbed up the ladder and got up to the pinnacle of the tower, he perched himself up there like a hawk searching for their pray, then he opened up his HUD of weapons he could bring into the game.
“Alright let’s see here; R700 Bolt Action Sniper Rifle with TONS of ammo, and an M1 Garand with a custom 4X scope also with lots of ammunition, Mossberg 500 pump-action shotgun, Bushmaster AR-15 with a flashlight and M203 grenade launcher attachment, and some Doritos and Mountain Dew, I’ll probably be here for a long time. Oh I almost forgot, a 44. Magnum incase someone will try and rush me, that’s what they get.”
And that was it, he was completely armed to the teeth with weapons to kill and hunt. First, he recited the Rifleman’s Creed.
“-I must shoot him, before he shoots me, I will...” And he ended with a single clap of the hands.
“Alright, let’s get down to business” he picked up his R700 and looked through his scope at many ponies walking through the streets of the town, many were smiling and laughing and playing and stuff, almost too innocent, but, he mattered little about rules of engagement, it would tarnish his reputation in the online gaming community.
Now he had to make this first kill very tragic and dramatic. Then he saw this very pregnant looking mare walking, he aimed his scope, and fired a single bullet in her stomach and hit the fetus in the brain, she fell to the ground, writhing in pain, blood coming out very fast, he could see her coltfriend coming to her aid, as well as many other ponies.
Then he took his next shot right through the coltfriends skull, his head exploded and many ponies fell backwards taken back by what just happened, many of them vomiting at the sight of the two dead ponies, and the little unborn foal. They ran into multiple buildings locking the doors shut.
“Boom, headshot” XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX said very clichè like. Then he spotted this poor stallion, banging at this door and screaming “LET ME IN, LET ME IN”, he took his next bullet right in the neck of the pony, and suffered a very untimely death.
“Who’s next?” he pondered, he could see many other ponies on the ground hiding, waiting for this living hell to be over. He then spotted this Pegasus in the air looking for the source of the gunshot, he then took out the M1 Garand and shot the pegasus in the right wing, they fell to the ground headfirst and their head split open like a watermelon.
“Eww, nasty” XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX said, holding back vomit, he then took a sip of his Mountain Dew, and continued on.
The next pony he spotted was a very idiotic looking Unicorn walking through the streets not even knowing about the events that were currently transpiring.
“Look at that idiot! Ha! I might as well put him out of his misery. He then took a bullet right through the upper chest of the poor Unicorn, ultimately killing him in the process.
“How many kills is this so far? I lost count, oh well.” He then focused back into the scope and shot another pony in the window of one building right in the groin too, that definitely had to hurt.
He then took another bullet right to the forehead of that same pony, putting them out of all their wretched pain.
He then heard very loud noises in the progress, it was the royal guards. They were gonna kill poor ol’ XxXL3G17N05cOp3zXxX, but, he had an idea incase this actually happened, he took the AR-15 and started searching for the vehicle.
“Where the hell is the vehicle? Oh, why is it flyin- oh right, they don’t have automobiles here...Stupid silly ol’ me”, he slapped himself in the face, pointed the grenade launcher, taking carefulness in gravity, then shot one grenade up, and hit the flying carraige. I fell out of the sky, blazing in a very red hot inferno. the guard ponies were running all over the place, screaming and burning to death, they stopped and fell to the ground, burnt to a crisp.
“Is it getting hot in here, or is it just them?” Oh the jokes he could pull off, he was always the most funny of all his friends. (he had none)
He then spotted one of the last ponies, they were hiding in a dumpster, he aimed right to where he poked his head up, and then shot him.
“Wow, I’ve killed so many, I hope I rank up soon!” He said delightfully, he then thought of all the families he has torn apart, and destroyed, he never did care though about the casualties of a person or pony for this matter, but this time it got to him. He then looked down, everypony knew where he was, they were all hiding at this point, there was no one left to die, except himself.
“I guess all’s well that ends well” He chuckled to himself, he then took another look down the tower, at the so soft looking cobblestone and grass.
“All good things come to an end I guess.”
He took a step forward
1.....
He took another step forward getting to the edge closer every single time.
2.....
He then took one final step forward, with his toes over the edge, he jumped
3!!!!!
He fell for what seemed forever, with the flashes of the ponies mangled up faces that he caused by his own hand, not even caring about it. He then hit the floor, and walked the dinosaur.
The End.