Haven't we all had this problem? You're friends with a pony, good friends. And then, suddenly, you feel that there's something else, too? That you like this pony as more than just a friend? That this stallion or mare could very well be your very special somepony?
And then you start to think. What if I confessed my feelings, but my friend doesn't feel that way? I don't want to ruin this friendship by making things awkward, or worse, destroy it completely. I just don't wanna take that risk!
Well, dear reader, fear not! In this book, you will not only learn of a way to become closer to your friend, even up to being a romantic couple, you will have safeguards and rails at every step of the way so that at no point you are in danger of ruining your friendship! And all in just five easy to follow steps!
Of course, as every relationship is different, we can not guarantee the ultimate success of the methods used in this guide. However, what we can guarantee is that no matter what, if the relationship was meant to be, if you follow our steps, it will happen, and if it wasn't you will not ruin your prior friendship. There's nothing that could possibly go wrong, so what are you waiting for? Dig right into 'How to become more than friends: A guide in five easy steps'!
Excerpt taken from 'How To Become More Than Friends: A Guide In Five Easy Steps', Back Cover Description
Twilight Sparkle usually had pretty uneventful nights. The Golden Oaks Library was—to Twilight's chagrin—rarely frequented even in the daytime, let alone at night. And Spike, as a heavy sleeper, hadn't accidentally woken her up ever since he learned to control his fire breath in his sleep, a skill that Princess Celestia had insisted the dragon should obtain after the immortal ruler of Equestria and Princess of the Sun got quite tired of waking up covered in various household utensils and, in one very unfortunate instance, Twilight Sparkle.
Most importantly though, as her friends had found out the hard way, Twilight was, to put it mildly, quite grumpy if she was awoken before she had gotten her self-allotted optimal amount of sleep. And nopony that knew her was willing to risk facing the probably most magically gifted unicorn of recent memory in a mood that could politely be described as stark raving mad.
So, when the librarian was awoken by the sound of a bookshelf toppling over at about one in the morning, she stayed calm, got out of bed, and went to investigate the source of the commotion. The high-powered stun missile spell she was preparing was just a safety measure, really.
When Twilight arrived in the main part of the library, she first cast a lighting spell, leaving the hall of books only illuminated enough to barely make out shapes. She saw pretty much exactly what she had expected to see: A bookshelf had fallen over, its precious, knowledge-filled content spilled on the floor. It was clear to see that the fall had not been kind to those books. Most of them would surely suffer at least a minor case of dog-earing, and some of them even seemed to have not only their cover, but also the actual pages scratched and in some instances even torn. Twilight, just for additional safety, powered up her stun spell from 'knock out cold' to 'this is supposed to be a stun spell, you know'.
The bookshelf was not the only thing she saw, however. Badly hidden behind one of her reading pedestals, she could make out the shape of a pony. Ah... The culprit.
Twilight spoke up in a voice that carried enough ice to reanimate a dying glacier. “I know you're there, whoever you are. You have five seconds to think of an explanation of why you're here, or I'm going to give you about ten more hours of deep sleep to think of one. Your choice.”
The figure behind the pedestal didn't move an inch.
A small bit of satisfaction crept onto Twilight's face. “You want it the hard way? Fine with me.”
She began counting. “One. Two. Three. Four. Fi—"
“Alright, alright, you got me!”
The so-far concealed pony in question jumped out behind her cover, revealing itself to Twilight.
“R-Rainbow Dash?”
As soon as Twilight realized who the intruder was, her anger disappeared, to be replaced by confusion. Why is Rainbow Dash invading my home in the middle of the night? As she thought that, her cheeks flushed a little. No, that definitely isn't it. Focus, Twilight! This isn't the time for that!
“Uh... excuse me, but... what the hay are you doing here?”
Rainbow Dash fidgeted a bit. “Uh, well, you know, I was... looking for a book!”
Twilight raised her eyebrows. “At one in the morning?”
There was no answer from Dash for a while as she thought of what to say. “Uh... Oh! Yeah, I just remembered before going to sleep that I have to get this book for a friend by tomorrow, so I felt really bad, and I wanted to get it as fast as possible! Oh, and I didn't want to wake you up, so I just let myself in.”
This rather lousy excuse of an excuse brought up more questions than it answered, and Twilight asked one of the more obvious ones. “Why do you have to get this book by tomorrow?”
Dash thought again, then perked up. “Oh, it's my friend's birthday!”
“Really? Who is it? I don't know of any of our friends having their birthday tomorrow.”
“Uhm, you don't know her. She, uh, lives in Cloudsdale.”
“And you're borrowing this book from the library, so you're gonna have to take your gift away within a week of you giving it to her unless you want her to pay library fees.”
“Well, uh... She's a fast reader.”
Twilight put her hooves to her temples, slowly massaging them. While she was precisely aware that the story that Rainbow gave her was horseapples, she had decided that while she usually loved to talk to all of her friends, and especially Dash, time spent trying to find out the truth right now was time not spent towards her planned optimum of eight hours of sleep.
“Alright, whatever. Just show me which book you want to borrow so I can make an entry in the library files.”
Rainbow smiled at her thankfully, then dove toward the scattered mass of books lying on the ground. While Rainbow was searching for her book, Twilight checked to see which section the shelf that had been knocked over was in. The self-help section? What could Dash possibly want from there? The mare in question rummaged around a bit, picked up a book, then showed the cover to Twilight.
She read the title of the book out loud. “'Your Horn and You: 101 Magic Tricks For Unicorns'?”
Rainbow fumbled with her hooves again. “Uh... yeah?”
Twilight was about to respond how little sense that made, but instead gave a sigh. “You know what? Never mind. Just take the book.”
Her friend looked genuinely relieved as she responded. “Thanks, Twi! You're the best!” And with that, she made her way to the door, leaving the library with the book still in her mouth.
Twilight gave another sigh. I'm gonna have to figure out what Rainbow really wants to do with that book. But not now. Tomorrow. For now, I should probably get this bookshelf back in order so I can go to bed.
The librarian used her magic to lift up the case, then began quickly sorting the fallen books back into their intended positions. As Twilight knew the contents of the self-help section by heart, having read every single book in there at least twice, the sorting took only about a minute. When she was done, however, she noticed something odd.
There was a book missing. That was, other than the one that Rainbow had borrowed.
Right between 'How To Avoid Being Mauled By Sharks' and 'How To Conceal Deadly Weaponry From The Shark Police', there was a gap. She knew exactly which book usually filled that gap, as it was of special interest to her. Curious... I know that book was there when I went to bed. Then it struck her. Rainbow Dash! She must have taken that book as well, hidden inside the other one!
That answered the question of what Dash had wanted with that first book.
However, the nature of the second book had Twilight even more puzzled.
Its title was 'How To Become More Than Friends - A Guide In Five Easy Steps'.
Why does Rainbow Dash want that specific book? And why was she trying to hide from me that she got it? She began to think.
Twilight Sparkle was known throughout all of Equestria as one of the most brilliant analytical minds alive. She was gifted with a keen sense of observation, and a knack to rationally deduce correct conclusions from the given circumstances and outcomes. Most importantly, though, was her ethical integrity that allowed her to stay completely objective and impartial when reaching her conclusions.
It should be noted, however, that said objectivity had not yet been tested when the subject matter was her own love life.
Thusly, her thesis regarding the recent events with Rainbow Dash reached the final stages of publishing within her head. There was absolutely no other conclusion than the one she had come to. Yes, there was only one logical explanation for Dash's behavior.
Rainbow Dash has a crush on me, too!
Her blushing and giggling like a little filly were completely unrelated to the result she had reached.
Twilight's rational part of her brain gave herself a few more seconds of feeling giddy before it reminded her that as she hadn't even had any dates so far, she had absolutely no idea what the given protocol in this situation was. And that thought terrified her.
Oh no! Rainbow Dash has a crush on me, too! There's nothing in the self-help section about somepony having a crush on you! I have no idea what she's going to do! Or what I'm going to do! And if I don't know what to do, Rainbow Dash will hate me! And I'm going to lose her as a friend! And the others won't want to be friends with somepony who broke the heart of another friend! And then I won't be able to study friendship anymore and Princess Celestia will banish me and I'm going to live the rest of my life as an outcast without any friends!
As her train of thought had finished derailing and violently crashing and burning, Twilight had reached one hundred percent certainty that she needed to find out as much as she could about dating and romance so that the events portrayed in her head would not come to pass, which they surely would if immediate action was not taken.
Luckily for her, though, she knew an expert on the subject, somepony who was sure to know exactly what was to be done in a situation such as this. Yes, Rarity would definitely know what to do.
Twilight made a mental note to get to Rarity's boutique first thing in the morning to discuss the modus operandi of romantic relationships. She then made an actual note with the same content, which she put on her desk. Then, she made another note reminding her that she had a note on her desk, which she put on her nightstand. After that, she made a third note reminding her that there was a note on the nightstand. After a brief period of thinking of sensible places to put the third note, she pinned it to her horn.
As opposed to Twilight, Spike did not in particular care about the pinpointed amount of sleep he got, as long as he wasn't woken up. With Twilight's habit of getting up at exactly eight in the morning and zero seconds, however, not being woken up usually meant being awake before that, which kind of defeated the whole point.
This day, however, he was lucky enough to not be awoken at all. When he got out of bed at about nine, he soon found out why. Spike rolled his eyes and picked up the note that Twilight had left on his nightstand reminding him that she had put a note on his door. The latter one read, in Twilight's perfect lettering: “Gone for the morning. Will be home around lunch time. Left you a list with chores on my desk.”
Spike was a bit grumpy when he walked up the stairs to Twilight's room. Of course, just go wherever and leave the housework to me. And would it hurt her to give me a 'Please'?
But Spike couldn't stay mad for long. He knew that Twilight just didn't think about things like that, and that she loved him like a brother even if she didn't let it show very often. And she knew that he felt the same way about her. They were family, and there was almost nothing that could get between family.
As he arrived at Twilight's desk, Spike picked up the list of chores, read it, and grinned. The tasks he was given would only take about an hour, and if he got them done soon, he would have about two hours of free time until Twilight came back, which he intended to fill with reading as many comic books as possible. Intending to get started ticking off the chores as soon as possible, Spike searched the desk for a pen to take with him.
However, as he looked across the table, he saw another one of Twilight's notes. Curious, Spike reached for it, and read.
It said “To do: Talk to Rarity about possible romantic relationship.”
At nine in the morning, Carousel Boutique was still closed, as it always was. While Rarity was an early riser and usually already awake for an hour or two at that time, she preferred to have the early morning hours to herself. At this time of day, when the morning birds were singing and the sun began its daily trip around the globe, the fashionista found herself to be at her most creative.
Every day until around ten, when she opened the Boutique to the public, she was in her work room, visualizing, conceptualizing, sketching designs for dresses, but never actually beginning to fabricate them. During this period, she laid out what she was going to do for the day, how she was going to fulfill the wishes her customers had voiced to her, and how she could give each of the dresses she was going to make today the best possible look that would not only be a great standalone design, but also complement the pony that she was making the dress for. It was the most important part of her day, and she didn't like being interrupted during it at all.
So, when she heard a knock on the door while she was finishing a particularly challenging sketch for a summer dress, she gave an annoyed huff before raising her voice to address the unknown pony outside.
“Terribly sorry, but the Boutique is still closed. I'm fairly certain that the rather impressively sized 'Closed' sign I hung up could tell you the same thing. Oh, maybe you didn't read that one because you were so distracted by the other sign. You know, the one that reads 'Do not disturb'? Whatever the cause, I would very much appreciate it if you were to come back during opening hours. You should be able to gather those from the sign labeled 'opening hours,' but just to be safe, that means in an hour from now. Oh, and just so I can look forward to your company later in the day, who are you?”
From outside, a familiar voice responded to her tirade. “Uhm, it's Twilight. I wanted to talk to you about a problem I have, but I can come back later if you don't have time right now. Sorry for disturbing you.”
Rarity bit her lip, dropped her sketching pencil, and began walking to the door. “Oh, I am quite sorry darling. The last few times somepony knocked here this early, it was because they think themselves too important for opening times, so I was expecting somepony from that category. I always have time for a friend in need, though.”
She had arrived at the door and opened it. “So, what is it that you wanted to -” Rarity then stopped and wrinkled her brows. “Excuse me, Twilight, but why do you have a piece of paper pinned to your horn?”
Twilight rolled her eyes all the way upward and could just make out the edges of the note she had stuck to her horn. “Oh. Well, that explains the looks I've been getting on the way here...” Blushing slightly, she levitated the paper off her horn before crumbling it and throwing it in a nearby trashcan.
“Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I have a huge problem on my hooves, and you're the only pony I know that can possibly help me.”
Rarity gave Twilight a concerned look. “Oh dear, that sounds serious! I will of course do everything in my power to help you. Though, what problem could it be that only I can help you with it?”
“Well, you see...” Twilight inhaled as much air as her lungs could intake, and her poorly held back inner panic was released along with it as she spoke almost too fast to understand. “Rainbow Dash has a crush on me and I've never even been on a date and that means I don't know what to do and if I don't know what to do I'll mess everything up and that will make Dash hate me and then everypony will hate me and I'll die lonely and friendless!”
Rarity waited for Twilight to regain her breath after finishing all of that within a single intake of air, which also gave her time to regain her composure after what she had just heard. “Now, I can't say I understood any of that apart from your opening statement. That, however, seemed quite important to me, so I would like you to repeat it to make sure I heard correctly. You were saying that Rainbow Dash has a crush on you?”
Twilight nodded, still frantic. “Yes, and that means everypony will hate me because—”
Rarity lifted a hoof. “Stop! First of all, calm down. Everything is fine, nopony is going to hate you, and you'll always have your friends around no matter what. I'm here to help you, Twilight.” With a encouraging look to Twilight, she lifted a hoof to her chest while breathing in, then breathed out while extending her hoof.
Twilight's heavy breathing slowed down, and after a few seconds she repeated the gesture. She then gave Rarity a small smile. “Thanks for that. I guess I just panicked.”
“Don't mention it, dear. Now, we have quite a bit to talk about. First of all, why do you believe that Rainbow has a crush on you?”
“Well, it's pretty obvious. Yesterday night there was a break-in at the library, and Dash knocked over a bookshelf, which was quite suspicious because why would she even need a book from that section, right? Anyway, she borrowed a book, but that wasn't actually the book she wanted, just a cover story—hah, did you see what I did there? Well, after she was gone, I noticed that the book she really wanted was missing, so she must have taken that, and she didn't want me to know about it! So that means that Rainbow must have a crush on me. Obvious, right?”
Rarity blinked. Then she blinked again. Then she slowly opened her mouth as if she were about to say something, then closed it again. Then she gestured with her hooves trying visualize what Twilight had just spoken. Then she gave up.
“Yes, ahem, obvious. But, just so I'm sure I didn't miss anything, could you please tell me all that again? And, please, make sure to include even the minutest of detail this time, no matter how irrelevant they may seem to you.”
“Well, I don't see why, but sure, if it helps.”
Twilight then proceeded to give a recap of the events of the following evening that was understandable by a pony that wasn't psychic or Pinkie Pie.
After Twilight had finished, Rarity responded thoughtfully. “Hmm. So, you think that Rainbow Dash wanted to take this book, 'How To Become More Than Friends', from the library without you knowing about it so that she could court you using the methods detailed in said book?”
“Yes, of course! There's no other explanation, is there?”
“Hmmm.” Rarity tapped her chin with her hooves. “Well, it does seem like Rainbow Dash has a crush on one of her friends, yes.”
Twilight furrowed her brows. “What do you mean, one of her friends?”
“Well, I'm not trying to step on any hooves here, but... what makes you so certain that you are that specific friend in question?”
“Really, Rarity? Come on, she specifically hid the book from me! Why else would she do that?” Twilight tried to keep a composed tone while she said this, but it was clear that Rarity had indeed trampled on some horseshoes there.
Rarity could think of a few reasons, mostly concerning how Rainbow Dash hadn't wanted anypony to know that she did something as uncool as reading before, and that she definitely wouldn't want ponies to know that she was doing something as uncool as reading self-help books about romance. But, seeing the hurt look in the eyes of her friend made her hold her tongue.
“Ahem, I can't think of anything right now.”
Twilight immediately shook the sadness from herself. “See? She has to have a crush on me!”
“It is quite likely, yes. All I ask is that as you are clearly infatuated with her, you don't set up expectations in your head that might not come to pass.”
Twilight waved her off. “Sure, sure.” Then she realized what Rarity had just said. “Wait, how do you know that I... Uh, I mean, what makes you say that I'm infatuated with Rainbow?”
Rarity giggled. “I'm quite confident in my ability to judge the feelings of a pony, and I'm certain that if you did not have any romantic feelings towards Rainbow, you wouldn't have been quite as flustered about this whole situation. Also, you just pretty much confirmed my hunch with your response.”
Having been pointed out like that, there was little left to do for Twilight but concede. With a blush, she answered, “Uhm, okay, you're right. I... do have a crush on Rainbow.” She then looked at Rarity pleadingly. “Which is why I need your help! I don't know the first thing about dating and romance, and I want to do the right things! You're an expert in the field, and that's why I've come for your advice!”
Rarity shuffled her hooves. “Well, I don't know about being an expert in the field...” In fact, aside from a few dates and short-term relationships, Rarity's knowledge about romance came mostly from the dollar bin at the local bookshop. “But, I am always willing to help as best I can.”
Twilight gave her an appreciating smile. Rarity continued: “Now, you want me to give you advice on what to do next, correct?” Twilight nodded. “Okay. Now, to start, considering that if Rainbow were to make a move on you, she would be using the methods detailed in the book that she borrowed, so the first thing we need to do is get ourselves a hold of a copy.”
As if she had just remembered it, Twilight pulled something out of her saddlebags. “Oh, right! That won't be a problem, I have my personal copy right here with me!”
Rarity lifted an eyebrow. "Personal copy, huh?" Twilight blushed. Rarity giggled. Twilight blew a raspberry at Rarity, then giggled as well. And that was that.
“Anyway,” Rarity continued, “that's good news! We will know exactly what to look for!”
With a qestioning look on her face, Twilight asked, “We?”
“Well of course, darling! I'm not going to let a friend of mine go into the battlefield of love without a confidante! Don't you worry, I will be with you the whole way to help and support you. That's what friends are for, is it not?”
Approximately 1.618 seconds later, Rarity found herself to be quite hugged by a teary-eyed Twilight. “Oh, thank you! That means a lot to me. This whole romance thing is so intimidating, but with you by my side, I'm sure I'll be able to handle it.”
Rarity patted Twilight on the back gently. “Oh, don't mention it. I'm sure you would do the same for me. That is, if the problem I was having had something to do with biology. Or chemistry. Or, uhm, bibliography.”
That got a giggle out of Twilight as she removed herself from the hug. “I'm pretty sure that word doesn't mean what you think it means, but yes. I would.”
After a brief appreciative smile from Rarity, she went back to business. “So, tell me. What exactly does the book instruct the suitor to do?”
And then Twilight told her.
When Twilight returned to the library, she noticed that it was already half past noon. Shoot! I told Spike I'd be back in time for lunch! She bit her lip. I hope he isn't mad at me.
As she went inside, she called out to him. “Spike? Spihike?” No response came. Curious... He's usually so fast to welcome me. I'd better go look for him. She went around the library, to the kitchen, the bath, the cellar, her own room, constantly and increasingly worriedly calling out to her de facto brother. She finally found him on the astronomy balcony on top of the tree that made up the library, surrounded by comic books and empty tubs of ice cream. “Spike! There you are! Why didn't you answer me? I'm sure you must have heard me.”
Spike looked up with disinterest from the comic book he was reading. “Eh. Didn't feel like it.”
“Err... what?” Oh, he must be miffed because I didn't come back in time for lunch. “You know, I'm sorry I'm late. I'll get right onto making dinner for us. How's that sound?”
Spike gave a disinterested “eh” before getting back to reading his comic.
What's with him? He's usually not this huffy. Maybe something about the chores I gave him?
“Oh Spike, I hope that you weren't too busy with the housework I left you this morning. Did it take long?”
“No,” he replied. “Didn't take long because I didn't do it.”
“Huh?” He never shirks his chores! Sure, he complains, but just not doing them? “Spike, why didn't you?”
“Didn't feel like that either.”
What is going on with him? “Spike, you can't just not do your chores because you don't feel like it!”
That finally got a reaction out of Spike. An angry one. “Oh, so now you are going to lecture me about feelings, huh? That's rich. Tell me, where did you go this morning?”
Twilight was taken aback. I can't tell him what I talked to Rarity about! Quick, think of an excuse, think of an excuse... “Well, I had to help Fluttershy massage a bear! He was having terrible back problems.”
Spike gave a sarcastic chuckle. “Well, how fitting. You seem to be quite capable of handling things behind the back of people. I'm gonna go out for a while. Bye.” And with that, he made his way down the stairs.
What was that all about? He's never like this. What did I do? But no answer came to her.
She sighed. I'm just gonna give him his space. I'm sure he's gonna talk about this when he's ready. Besides—and Twilight got a little flustered and excited at that thought—there are much happier things to think about.
So she thought about what she had talked about with Rarity, what they had decided to do, and what would hopefully be the result. And while that result couldn't come soon enough to Twilight, for now, there was only one thing for her to do: Waiting.
So wait she did.
As you and your target of affection are already friends, you have already passed the first obstacle to being in a romantic relationship: Getting to know one another. Because of this, step one of your journey is very much the easiest. It is one of preparation for the harder parts later and will not in itself bring you that much closer to a romantic relationship. It is, however, still crucial.
If you wish to grow closer to your friend, the only way to do it is by actually being around that pony, talking to him or her, having fun together. There is a reason the two of you are friends already, and that is that both of you enjoy being around the other. That connection will be the foundation that your relationship will be built upon.
In the first step, we are going to help you reinforce that foundation while not actually trying to expand upon it.
So, what exactly do you have to do in step one? Simple: Spend some time with your friend!
Well, it's not quite as simple as that, but that is the important part.
Excerpt taken from 'How To Become More Than Friends: A Guide In Five Easy Steps', Step one: The Foundation
Luckily for her, Twilight did not have to wait too long. The next afternoon, she was interrupted in her studies of 'An Expert's Guide To Boredom' by a knock on the door.
“Spike? Could you please see who's at the door?” Twilight waited a few seconds, but as she had expected, no response came. The dragon still avoided her, and their conversations were limited to Twilight trying to talk to Spike and him ignoring her. With a sigh, Twilight got up and trotted toward the door.
As she opened it she was greeted by a loud bang, a barrage of streamers and confetti, a loudly tooted party horn, and a Pinkie Pie. “Salutations!” She beamed. “That's a fancy word for 'Hi!'”
Luckily for Twilight, she had lived in Ponyville for long enough to know that whenever she was opening a door, there was a percentage of a chance that the other side of that door would contain a happy explosion and a pink pony. She had actually devised a formula that determined said percentage based on Pinkie's habits. She calculated it like so:
((Time in days since recent Pinkie appearance) plus (Time in days since last partylike event)) divided by
((Time since her last meal in seconds) times (Current population of sheep in Sweet Apple Acres)
She then ignored that number and took a random one between zero and one hundred. It was surprisingly accurate, but only when she did the other calculations beforehand.
For this specific door opening, the Pinkie Appearance Quotient(PAQ) had been at 47 percent, so Twilight was prepared. She calmly dropped her party utensil repelling shield. “Yeah, I know what that word means. Hi, Pinkie.”
“Hi!” Pinkie then pulled a glittery piece of paper out of her tail. “You're invited to a soiree! That's a fancy word for party.”
“I know that word too, but thanks.” Twilight levitated the invitation toward her, then read it aloud. “Salutations, Twilight!” She rolled her eyes. “You're invited to the 'A completely casual gettogether without any kind of ulterior motives' party!”
Twilight gave Pinkie a look. “Yeah, I know, not my best when it comes to titles, but my original title, 'This party is a cover for Rainbow Dash because she asked me to set something up so she could get closer to her potential marefriend,' got rejected by an undisclosed third party. Oh, uhm, there aren't actually going to be three parties though. There will be just the one party really. But if there were more I'd be very much encouraging them to disclose themselves, too. I mean, what kind of behavior is that for a party, not even announcing they are happening? Anyway, are you coming?”
Meanwhile Twilight was trying very hard to follow what Pinkie was saying and mostly failing, not just because she was listening to Pinkie, but because most of her brainpower was used to keep herself from squeeing loudly at what she had just heard. She did however notice that Pinkie had stopped talking and was looking at her expectantly.
“Yes, yes, of course, I know exactly what you are talking about. Uh, when and where will the party be?”
“Oh, the disclosed one? It's this close to happening!” Even in her current not quite completely there state of mind, Twilight had to groan at that. Pinkie giggled. “It'll be this evening at Sugarcube Corner, starting at eight. Spike's invited too! The Cakes are on a family vacation, so no need to worry about waking up the babies! Oh and don't worry, it won't be anything too outre! That's a fancy word for... fancy.” Another groan. “Well, I'll have to go invite the rest of our friends. See you at the party! Just come by whenever you fancy.” And with that, she bounced off.
She left behind an ecstatic Twilight. Ohmygosh, this is it! The first step! She's doing it today! Today! Of course, she would start as soon as possible. She is the fastest Pegasus in Ponyville after all. Oh this is so great! If she keeps up this kinda speed, we're gonna be a couple in a few days!
Wandering around the library lost in her daydreaming, she didn't notice Spike standing in the door toward her room until she almost bumped into him. “Oh, hey, Spike!” Spike, his arms crossed and an unreadable look on his face, said nothing. The reminder of the problem she had with him snapped her right back into reality. Maybe I can fix this at the party? I'm sure he'll be more talkative around the others. Especially Rarity. “Hey, you're invited to a party this evening at Sugarcube Corner! I'm sure it'll be fun. All of our friends will be there. And yes” - Twilight winked - ” that includes Rarity.”
That got a reaction out of Spike, however, not the one that Twilight had expected. He looked at her as if she had just ripped his heart out of his chest. “What – you – I can't believe you!” Tears welling from his eyes, he stormed out of the room, locking himself in the bathroom.
“What... What did I say? Spike, please, I'm sorry! I don't know what I did wrong, and you won't tell me. Please! Talk to me!” But no matter what she tried, no answer came. After about ten minutes of trying to get him to talk to her, she gave up.
I feel terrible. Whatever I did, I've never seen him look at me like that. Like I betrayed him. Oh gosh, I have no idea what's going on inside his head. Alright, that's it. First thing in the morning tomorrow, I'm sitting him down and find out what the problem is. But not now. I have to give him some time to calm down.
Even though she still felt bad about the whole thing, she had different things to worry about as well. Specifically, the party that evening.
She trotted towards the self-help section, grasping a specific book within her magic. Its title was 'Breaking The Ice: Fifty Topics Of Conversation That Will Get Your Party Going.'
With this, running out of things to talk about with Rainbow isn't going to be an issue. And since I know what the plan in step one is, I know what she's going to do.
She nodded confidently to herself. There is absolutely no way that anything could go wrong tonight.
What you specifically want to do in step one is, as mentioned before, spend time with your friend. At this point, however, you have no information about the feelings of your target of affection. You don't know how he or she would react to a confession, or what it would do to your friendship. That is why it is important that in the first step, you aren't just with your crush, you're also with other mutual friends. The best opportunity for this is some kind of party. If there isn't anypony's birthday coming up, try to think of a reason to throw a party that doesn't seem too out of place and where a good number of friends as well as your crush would show up to.
At the party itself, just do what you would normally do. Have fun with your friends, chat, mingle. However, and here's the important part: Do it around your special friend. It is of vital importance that while you are around all of your friends and make conversation with all of them, the majority of your time is spent with your crush. Whether you're talking one on one or within a group doesn't matter too much, as long as you are around your target of affection. We need to remind our target that we are great to be around, and that we want to be around them as well.
Keep your conversations casual, just the things you usually would talk about. There is plenty of time for the deeper talks in the following steps. Bear in mind that this step is as much preparation as it is cautionary, to minimize the risk of losing a friend over your romantic intentions.
Excerpt taken from 'How To Become More Than Friends: A Guide In Five Easy Steps', Step one: The Foundation
“... so then I said, 'Yeah, but you do realize that cloud's been raining for about ten minutes now, right?'” finished Rainbow. Her listeners, consisting of Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy, all laughed.
“That's incredible,” Twilight chuckled. “He didn't even check beforehand?”
“No, not even a glimpse. Anyway, that's why he had to move his house over an unpopulated area.”
At this point in time, Twilight and her five friends had been at Sugarcube Corner for about ten minutes. And so far, everything was going exactly as Twilight had imagined it. She was there, Rainbow Dash was there, and they were talking! Granted, her other friends were there as well, but that was all part of step one. As long as she was with Rainbow, everything went according to plan.
A plan that Rarity was quite happy to help along. “Oh, that reminds me. Fluttershy, dear, I need your opinion on something. You see, when I was admiring the drapes by the kitchen window here, I had the idea for a most delightful summer dress. I'm just not quite sure what materials would be best to be cutting it from to replicate that look, and with your remarkable expertise in the field of fashion, I would very much like to hear what you would advise. Would you mind coming to the kitchen with me?”
“Oh, uhm, sure Rarity, if you think I can help you.”
Rarity then wrapped a hoof around Fluttershy's shoulder, gave a concealed wink to Twilight, and trotted off.
As Applejack and Pinkie were still busy setting up the buffet and music, this left Twilight completely alone with Rainbow Dash. Twilight smiled towards Rarity appreciatively. Thank you, Rarity. You weren't kidding when you said you would help me any way you can.
This was it, then. The perfect opportunity for Dash to make some conversation, to have her talk to Twilight about whatever it was that came to mind, to show Twilight that she was a great friend to be around and that she liked being around Twilight as well. Yes, Twilight was ready.
Unfortunately, it seemed like Rainbow wasn't. Instead of striking up a conversation, Rainbow looked seemingly into nothingness, her cheeks slightly flushed. Ohmygosh... Is she too nervous to think of something to say? After about fifteen seconds of uncomfortable silence had passed, Twilight decided to take matters into her own hooves.
“So, Rainbow... how are you doing?”
Dash snapped out of her unfocused stare to look at Twilight. “Huh? Oh, ehrm... pretty good.”
“How's work?”
“Can't really complain.”
Twilight groaned internally. This was getting them nowhere. She needed a topic to talk about, and fast! She thought back to the conversation starter book she had read earlier today for something to break the ice. Hoofball! It said something about hoofball. Everypony likes talking about hoofball!
“So, uh, did you see that hoofball game last Sunday?”
Rainbow perked up. “Yeah, sure! Wasn't it awesome when Thunderhooves gave that sixty yard pass to Northern Wind? And the way that Jazz Hooves avoided three defenders with that incredible backflip?”
“Uhm, yes, that was great.” Twilight, you know nothing about hoofball! You haven't even seen the game she's talking about! Change the topic! “Hey, how about the weather, right? You never know what it'll do next.”
Dash looked at her suspiciously. “What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying that us weather ponies aren't doing our job right?”
“No, no, I meant... “ Stupid, Twilight, stupid! Quick, another topic! But suddenly, everything in the book seemed inappropriate to talk about. Debating about politics? Dash wouldn't be interested in that at all. Gossiping about the royals? Rainbow and her knew the princesses better than pretty much anypony, so there wasn't much left to gossip about. Lamenting about rising gas prices? Rainbow didn't even own a gas oven! There was just absolutely nothing she could think of that would be interesting to talk about!
Well... Maybe one thing...
“Uh, hey, Rainbow Dash... How much do you know about sharks?”
By the time Rarity and Fluttershy returned, Twilight had explained to an intently listening Dash seven different ways to defeat a shark in open water. The last one involved a rubber band and a surprising amount of peanut butter.
“Oh my, those poor little critters! How could you even think of doing something like that to those innocent dearies!”
“Fluttershy, they're sharks,” Twilight responded. “I think they'll get along having their teeth stuck together for a while.”
Rainbow's opinion differed quite a bit from Fluttershy's. “That sounds awesome! I have to try that! Fluttershy, do you have any sharks in your pond?”
“Uhm... no. Sadly, Sir Phillip outgrew it last year. He lives by the east coast now, near Horseshoe Bay.”
Dash blinked. “I... was joking. Also, Sir Phillip? Why does a shark get knighted?”
“Oh, it was an honorary title. I bestowed it upon him for the way he protected the other fish.”
Shaking her head, Rainbow chuckled. “Leave it to you to make the greatest beast of prey of the sea into a guardian of the defenseless.”
“He really doesn't like being called a beast. He refers to himself as dolphin with better dental hygiene.”
“Oh, okay. When I meet him in the wild, I'll make sure to call him that before he rips open my jugular.”
When Fluttershy covered her mouth in shock, Rainbow quickly put a hoof on her shoulder. “Relax, Flutters, it was just a joke. I know that none of your animal friends would ever hurt anypony. Honestly, it's pretty awesome that you know a shark by name. You gotta introduce me to him sometime.”
Fluttershy smiled. “I'm sure he would like that.”
At that moment and completely out of nowhere Pinkie Pie jumped out from behind Twilight. “Surprise!” she shouted, sending Twilight jumping into the air. “Well, it's not really a surprise since you all know that there's a party here today, but anyway. Hey, everypony! The buffet is ready, and the dance floor is opened! Let's get this party started!”
And, after a brief period where it was determined that Twilight had indeed not suffered a heart attack, the party indeed got started. And Twilight had a blast.
She enjoyed the sandwiches and baked goods that Applejack and Pinkie had provided, filling herself up to the brim. She had a lot of fun dancing, even though she wasn't sure why everypony kept a distance of about ten feet from her while she was doing it. She laughed when Applejack found out that the fruits she was bobbing for were not in fact apples, but rather onions that Pinkie had painted red.
And, most importantly, she was around Rainbow Dash for most of it. Of course, not all of it, the book was very specific about not being clingy and hanging out with other friends as well, but yes, a majority of her time was spent around Rainbow. 61 percent of her time in fact, as she had calculated.
It was going perfectly. Now she only needed to wait for Rainbow to make the next move.
When the social gathering you and your friends are attending begins winding down, you need to get ready to ask your special friend out for what you have in mind for step two. This is the most important part of the first step, as it is the first hurdle for your possible romantic relationship, and if it fails, it should be seen as a sign that such a relationship is probably not meant to be.
As you are posing the question that leads to step two, make sure that you are alone with your special friend. Yes, this step was all about spending time with your crush as well as your other friends, but the next one will be happening only between the two of you, and that should be clear to him or her. It is also important that you set a specific date and time for your planned activity, as that will be helpful later when determining whether or not your romantic relationship has a future.
Your continuation of the pursuit of a relationship with your special friend will then entirely be decided by the answer he or she gives to your proposal. The answers can be categorized into three different types of responses.
First, the immediate acceptance. If your friend is willing to join you in your activity right away, you are on the perfect path to a relationship. No further action is required until step two begins.
Second, the excuse. If your friend says something along the lines of 'I'd love to, I just don't have time on the date you set', there are two possibilities: Your friend may genuinely not be available at that date, or he or she is just trying to politely excuse him - or herself from an activity he or she doesn't really want to partake in. Very important here: If you want to know whether the unavailability is genuine, do not offer a different day and time! Instead, ask your friend when he or she would be available. If a concrete date is offered, great! That means there is genuine interest in your friend to spend that time with you. If you get a response akin to 'I am going to be busy for a while, maybe some other time,' it's highly likely that there is no real interest in partaking in your step two activity and, by extension, in a romantic relationship. In this case, we're sorry, but you are probably better of just staying friends.
Third, of course, is straight up rejection. You don't need us to tell you what that one means.
Excerpt taken from 'How To Become More Than Friends: A Guide In Five Easy Steps', Step one: The Foundation
When the party had been going for about three hours, Twilight was starting to get antsy. Come on Rainbow, do something! The food is all gone, the music's off, and Applejack looks like she's about ready to fall asleep on the spot! When do you plan to actually ask me out?
Of course, it didn't help that whenever she was talking to Dash, there always seemed to be another pony around, and the book was very specific that the question had to be asked one on one. But when they were talking about Dash's weather work, Applejack joined them with suggestions for a better cloud distribution for rainfalls to water her and other farmers' crops. And when they were talking about how great the food had been, Pinkie popped in from out of nowhere with a “Thanks!” and a platter of cupcakes. Even when Rarity, Celestia bless her, had lured Pinkie to the kitchen by asking for the recipe for those, Fluttershy joined them for who knows what reason.
Urg! Why can't you ponies just give us some privacy? Rainbow is trying to ask me out here!
When she found herself talking not only to Dash, but Fluttershy as well for the umpteenth time that evening, Twilight decided that she needed to get a breather to calm herself down before she exploded in frustration. She excused herself to the little fillies room, only to splash some water on her face really. As she was about to return to the party, though, she was quite surprised when she heard familiar voices speaking.
“Hey, Fluttershy?”
“Yes, Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight's ears twitched. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy? Where is that coming from? As she looked around the bathroom, she could see a small ventilation shaft atop the wall that was adjacent to Sugarcube Corner's main room. Dash and Shy must be standing below another opening from the ventilation system, and their voices are carried over here. Curious! One wouldn't think the sound waves would project so clearly over that kind of medium. I wonder what kind of metal and shape the ventilation consists of that would conduct sound so well?
Her thought process was interrupted however when Rainbow Dash continued.
“Ehrm, do you have anything planned tomorrow afternoon?”
Twilight froze. Wait. Is she...
“Uh, no, not really. Why, is there something you need me for?”
“Well, uh, kinda. You see, I haven't done anything around my house in a while, and it's getting kinda boring to look at the same clouds everyday. So, I wanted to do some cloud sculpting, you know, getting a few decorations and stuff in there to make it look more awesome. I know you've always been pretty good with clouds, so I was wondering if you would be willing to help me out a bit. Well, only if you really want to. If you don't, no biggie.”
She... she's... oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. No no NO!
“Oh, that sounds great! Of course I'll help you.”
“Yes! Uh, I mean, cool. How about my house at four?”
“Sounds good.”
“Great, see you there then!”
She... she asked out Fluttershy!
And suddenly, many of the evening's events took on a new light. A few snapshots forced themselves into Twilight's head. Herself talking to Dash about just about anything, and Rainbow then asking Fluttershy's opinion on the matter. Herself dancing on her own, while Dash was sticking as close to Fluttershy as possible. The awkward silence between her and Rainbow at the beginning of the evening, where Dash hadn't stared into nothingness like Twilight had assumed, but rather in the direction that Fluttershy had just gone with Rarity. Twilight did a quick calculation of the amount of time that Dash had spent with Fluttershy, and arrived at 72 percent. 11 percent higher than me... Oh no, no, no! Fluttershy wasn't keeping Dash from asking me out, I was keeping Dash from asking her!
And with that realization, something in Twilight broke.
Without paying any real attention to anything around her, she made her way out of the bathroom, trying her hardest to keep her emotions from her face. She announced to the room that she was leaving without paying any attention if anypony was listening, and then trotted out the door.
She had made it about five steps when she started to cry.
She had made it ten when Rarity called out behind her.
“Twilight! What's wrong? Why are you leaving all of a sudden? Did anything happen? Did -” Rarity had then reached Twilight and put a hoof on her shoulder, causing her to stop her walking and turn around to face her. Tears streaming from her eyes, Twilight gave a hacking chuckle. “Hey, Rarity. Guess what? You were right! I'm not the friend that Rainbow has a crush on. It's Fluttershy! Of course it isn't me. Why would anypony have a crush on me? I'm just a boring, ugly, stupid -”
She was then interrupted by a hoof in her mouth. “No! I will not have a friend of mine talk about herself in that kind of fashion.” Rarity then moved in to hug her, stroking her back reassuringly. “You aren't boring, you're one of the most fascinating ponies to talk to if you find a subject that interests you. You are a beautiful mare, and believe me, I am an expert in the subject of beauty. And you being stupid? Please. We both know, everypony knows, that you are the smartest pony in a mile-wide radius. Don't talk yourself down. You are amazing.”
But Twilight wasn't swayed. “Oh yeah, I'm amazing. I'm so amazing that at the first sign of affection my crush shows me I immediately assume that she's in love with me. I'm pathetic, Rarity.”
“You're not! You just haven't had any experience, that's all! This is the first time you've ever been in a situation like this, of course you don't know how to read the signs of love. You just need to gather more information, to become more familiar with the subject of romance.”
Twilight was about to respond that her being so unfamiliar with romance at her age made her even more pathetic, but Rarity's last words rung in her head. Gather more information... become more familiar with the subject... gain more experience...
Twilight gave Rarity a skeptical look. “So, what you're saying is that I should start a research project on romance?”
Rarity tilted her head a bit. “Well, that wasn't exactly what I had tried to say, but... You know what? Yes! That sounds like a great idea. If you're trying to get familiar with a subject as complex and intimate as romance, you should do it in a way that you're comfortable with, so what better way for you to learn about it than the scientific method? Of course, I'll promise to help you along if you want me to.”
A thankful smile came from Twilight. “I would absolutely be honored to have you as my research partner. Thanks, Rarity.” Still embracing, Twilight squeezed Rarity appreciatively, and Rarity repaid the gesture before they detached themselves from each other.
“And I know exactly who our research subjects will be,” said Twilight, determinedly looking toward Sugarcube Corner.
Rarity followed her gaze, quickly realizing who she meant. “Uhm, Twilight, I don't think that's a good idea.”
“Why not? It's perfect. We know the ponies in question, and we get to see them partake in courtship from the beginnings, so we can determine how their behavior changes. It could be months before we find an opportunity as perfect as this again!”
“Well, yes, but... don't you think that you might be a bit... biased?”
Twilight waved that comment aside. “I'm a scientist. I know how to keep my personal feelings from influencing my research.”
Concern was in Rarity's voice when she asked her next question. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don't want to see you hurt yourself more than you've been hurt already, especially when this is supposed to be helping you.”
“Don't worry Rarity. I'll be fine.” And besides, who knows? Maybe the thing between Fluttershy and Dash won't work out, and then I'll be right there to – No! That's not what this is about! This is about researching romance and love!
But... I'll keep my eyes open.
“Everything will be just fine.”
