Best Princess

by Nom_deCheval

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 4081

The new polls are in, but only one princess can hold the title of Best Princess...

The new polls are in, but only one princess can hold the title of Best Princess. Who will it be? Let's have a contest to determine, shall we?

Written for the Celestia x Luna Shipping Contest! Check it out.

Warning!: Clop. Clop, clop, cloppity-clop-clop. Lots of clop. Pretty much clop for the sake of clop. The plot is there to justify the clop.

Published 2013-08-08 19:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-08 19:50:03 UTC

Best Princess

Best Princess

by Nom deCheval

Sauntering into the throne room, her head waving back and forth, mane bouncing--as much as an ethereal manifestation of the cosmos can--with every step, Luna hummed a soft song to herself. Her hooves clicked on the stone floor, stepping high and landing confidently, and her wings stood proudly above her. Eyes closed, she let her familiar knowledge of the castle be her guide.

“Good morning to you, sister!” she announced with a lilt in her voice.

Turning her head, Celestia saw her sister walking in and smiled. “Good morning to you, Luna. You are up uncharacteristically late in the day.”

“Am I?” She looked at her sister, her mouth and eyes opening slightly wider than needed in mock surprise. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“I’m sure,” Celestia replied.

The sunlight beamed in through the high glass in the room, a prism of color spraying across the far wall, echoing the hues from the stained glass that danced over the floor. Sitting high on the throne, pools of water and blooming flowers resting at its base, Celestia sat regally. Two guards, one on either side of the ramp that led to the seat, stood with their eyes forward, stoic expressions pasted on their faces.

And Luna all but danced across the room, passing directly in front of them.

“So,” Luna’s voice carried a hint of song to it even as she spoke, “how has your morning been, dear sister?”

“Uneventful, thankfully,” she answered. “I rose the sun, and then dealt with a few minor issues that were brought to my attention. I believe that there are some ponies who are seeking an audience shortly, but for the moment I have time to myself.” She tilted her head. “Though I suspect you already were aware of this.”

“Me?” Luna stopped and stared up at her sister. “I was just curious. I wanted to know if you were having a glorious morning. A delightful dawn. Another perfect beginning to another perfect day in Equestria.”

Celestia’s mouth opened, and then slowly closed. She turned her head again, and narrowed her eyes at her sister. She opened her mouth again, only this time words came out. “Okay, Luna, what are you up to?”

“Why, nothing, my beloved sister! What could TODAY possibly hold for me? TODAY is just another day, isn’t it?” she beamed.

Staring up and to the left, Celestia ran the events of the day through her head, trying to recall any event that she might have overlooked. It was only after she had cleared through personal matters for herself and her sister that her eyes lit up and she slowly nodded.

“Ah! Yes, today,” she said with a smile. “And what news did today bring us, Luna?”

“News? Oh, you mean the quarterly polls!” she exclaimed. “By coincidence I did happen to get a copy of that report brought to me when it was released this morning.” She tried not to bounce as she spoke, but there was a slight quiver to her rump despite her efforts. “It seems as though they ran a survey of the ponies in Equestria, looking for approval ratings for all of the political figures currently active.”

“Yes, we knew that was going to happen,” Celestia suppressed a chuckle. “What, pray tell, did that poll indicate?”

“You did very well, Tia! You came in with an approval rating of almost eighty-seven percent!” Luna announced.

A slight tinge of pink rose to Celestia’s cheeks. “I’m touched. It is difficult to please everypony, but I am glad that--”

“Mine was just over ninety-one percent!” Luna interrupted. Her eyes closed, she ruffled her feathers reflexively at the statement.

“Luna!” Celestia’s mouth fell open. “Luna, that’s wonderful!” She stood and rushed down the ramp to her sister, her hooves coming up to embrace her tightly. “All the fear they had after your return has vanished. I am so happy for you, little sister!”

“Yes, I feel the adoration of the ponies of Equestria washing over me. It is such a delight!” Luna hugged her sister back. “Please don’t let it bother you.”

Celestia pulled back with a smile. “Bother me? Luna, I’m delighted that you have been accepted so wholly by our subjects. I’m not bothered at all.”

“Oh, good. I hate to think that you might become jealous,” Luna said.

“Oh ho ho ho,” Celestia’s laugh filled the room. “I am far from jealous. Proud, yes, but not jealous.”

“I am delighted to hear that!” Luna’s horn lit and several scrolls appeared near her from the ether. “Since you have some time, this might be a good time to go over my plans.”

Blinking repeatedly, Celestia turned her head slightly to her left so her right eye was staring straight at her sister. “Plans? What sort of plans?”

“Well, since I’m now officially best princess, I have worked up some plans to cover new events that can occur during my night so that the ponies can celebrate with me,” Luna said. “Now, these will not affect most of your holidays--The Summer Sun Celebration and such--but so they are evenly spaced out we might have to eliminate one or two.”

The speed of Celestia’s blinking increased. “What?”

“The first one for the year--we won’t begin these until next year, obviously--is the Nocturne Jubilee. It is when I will unveil the new constellation for the year, surely to the cheers of ponies everywhere.” Luna took one of the scrolls and unfurled it, bringing it around to hover between her sister and herself. “I was thinking there might even be a special pony chosen to be Miss Nocturne, letting the ponies get closer to the celebration--and me, of course.”

“Well...” Celestia shook her head. “You may be over-reacting slightly, little sister. On a number of levels.”

“I do not think so,” Luna corrected. “I have been working on these plans for months now, and I believe that having it be an unattached mare--a Miss Nocturne--is better than using a married mare or a stallion.”

“No, no. I agree with that, it’s--” Celestia closed her eyes, cutting herself off. “I can’t believe I said that. Luna, we aren’t adding any celebrations to the year. At least not like you’re talking.”

“What? I’ve only told you about one of them. How can you say that?” she spoke, recoiling in surprise.

“That’s not it,” Celestia said calmly. “In fact, I rather like the idea of this Nocturne Jubilee, and think that creating such an event might be a good idea. What I mean is more of the idea of adding so many...and removing any that are already in place.”

“Why?” Luna stated bluntly. “I’m clearly more popular than you now. I just want to make our subjects happy as best princess.”

Celestia’s wings flared out, feathers ruffled, but only for a brief moment until she pulled them back to her side. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Luna,” she said evenly with a smile, “I think you’re just a little over-enthusiastic. Worked up from the news. Let’s not get carried away.”

Luna gasped. “You ARE jealous! You are trying to keep our subjects to yourself!”

“No, I am not. I...” Celestia brought a hoof up to her face, slowly pulling it down. “I’m not jealous. Let’s start over, shall we?”

“Oh, back to the point where I tell you that I have a five point lead over you in popularity?” Luna asked, bringing herself up to her tallest.

“Four points,” Celestia corrected, rising herself up to stand above her sister.

“Closer to five, actually. You were under eighty-seven, and I was over ninety-one,” Luna explained, trying to crane her neck up to be as tall as Celestia.

“Four or five, it’s not that important,” Celestia said, only to have her next sentence cut off by Luna before it began.

“Say’s the second-best princess.” Luna nodded once, curtly.

Standing there with a tightly-clenched jaw, Celestia barely moved. After a few moments, she slowly turned to the guards present and spoke with a strict tone. “If you would please leave the room, my sister and I need to discuss something in private.”

The two guards glanced at each other and then back to Celestia. One of them said what both were thinking, “Princess, we are assigned to guard you during--”

“I said leave.” There was no quarter in Celestia’s words. “Please.”

“Y--yes, Your Majesty,” they said as one and quickly moved towards the main entry of the room, Celestia calmly walking behind them. Her magic grasped the doors as they stepped through them, closing them slowly.

“Remain outside. I will call you when we are done with our discussion.” Normally, Celestia’s smile filled them with warmth and confidence, but this one made them shiver as the doors clicked shut.

She stood there, her back to Luna, unmoving. Stepping forward a couple of steps, Luna moved her neck far to the left, and then to the right, trying to see around to Celestia’s face.

“Sister?” Luna asked softly.

Finally, Celestia turned around, and Luna took two steps backwards. Flame was spouting from the Sun Goddess’ eyes, all traces of a smile now gone.

“What in the name of Discord’s sweaty balls was that all about!” Celestia shouted. “Me dammit, Luna, how many times are we going to have to go over this crap?”

“I--I--I...” Luna stammered.

“You--you--you!” Celestia stormed up to her smaller sister, staring down at her with now non-flaming eyes. “Jealousy? Really? You think that there is a chance in hell that I am really jealous of you?”

“Bu--but the polls...” Luna started.

“Fuck the polls!” Celestia threw her wings out to the side. “I mean, seriously, I was doing this for a fucking millennium by myself. You really think that I’m going to be jealous that you got a bump in the most recent popularity wanking contest? Please!” She rolled her eyes back.

“I--I did not mean to offend, sister,” Luna said. “It was just a joyous moment in my life, and I--”

“Cut the crap,” Celestia interrupted. “You were coming in that way because you knew that the guards talk, and you were wanting everypony to know that you are so very popular. You wanted to be top pony.” Celestia narrowed her eyes. “I believe you even used the words ‘best princess.’ Multiple times.”

“Oh no...” Luna’s pupils shrank to dots. “Please, sister! I beg of you! Please!”

“Let’s see...” Celestia tapped her hoof against her chin, her eyes angled up and to the left again as she thought. “Already done ‘Birdbath.’ Don’t feel like ‘Flowerpot.’ Maybe we should try ‘Happy Birthday...’”

“Not ‘Happy Birthday.’” Luna fell to her knees pleading. “NOT ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!’”

“Okay, okay!” Celestia sighed deeply. “But that means...oh! I’ve got it!” She looked at her little sister, a huge grin growing on her face. “Tug of War!”

“What? What’s that? What’s that?!” Luna shot her eyes around the room, trying to spot something to give her a sign.

“Okay! Time for the Best Princess Contest!” Magic gripped Luna’s right ear as Celestia started to walk towards the throne, her sister being pulled along behind.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Luna kept the eye closest to the trapped ear closed as she stumbled along to keep up with her sister. After a few moments, she was lifted up and placed at the base of the throne ramp.

“Now, let’s see...” Celestia continue up the ramp until she reached the massive chair symbolizing rulership of the land. Luna slowly stood and looked up the ramp at her sister, who had lifted the seat of the throne and was looking at items that she kept stored beneath it. “Nope. Not today. Ooh, that might be fun later.” Various items moved around, Luna could see the glow of each one, but couldn’t identify any of them.

“What are you looking for, sister?” Luna asked softly.

“You’ll see. Calm your tits.” Celestia kept her eyes down, the sound of items being shuffled about making its way to Luna. Finally, Celestia stopped moving things around. “Got it!”

She spun around, a massive grin on her face and a huge item hanging in the air next to her. “It’s time to see if you’ve got what it takes to play in the big leagues, Luna!”

Staring up, Luna couldn’t take her eyes off of the...thing...floating beside her sister’s head. It was the length of her foreleg, and easily just as thick. Both ends of it flared out into a rather distinctive shape.

“By my luminous moon, thou hast got to be fucking kidding,” she gasped.

“Ooh, slipping into olden speak,” Celestia beamed, “that’s good.” She looked over at the mammoth man-mimic and nodded. “Luna, meet The Equalizer. I had this thing made to humble any mare.” She glanced at her sister with a twinkle in her eye. “Any. Mare.”

“What the hell are you planning to do with that?” Luna asked, her voice raising up an octave or two.

“Not me, Luna,” she started the walk down to her sister, “us.”

“I think not, sister!” Luna backed away, slowly, only to have her progress suddenly stopped by a glowing wall of magic.

“Ah, ah! Best Princess Contest!” Celestia stalked down the ramp slowly. “Time to see who gets the title.”

“I concede,” Luna blurted.

“Too late,” Celestia answered immediately.

She reached her sister, looking down into her eyes with a predatory gleam. To her side, the grand dual-phallus began to wiggle in the air.

“Wh--what are we supposed to do with it?” Luna gulped.

“Well, the contest is called ‘Tug of War,’ what do you think we do with it?” Celestia raised her eyebrows.

“You do not mean...”

“One side in me, the other in you. Whichever pony loses grip first loses,” Celestia explained. “And the easiest way to lose your grip is to cum all over the place, by the way.”

“Bu--but the marehood tightens upon orgasm,” Luna said, her eyes like saucers. “Your reasoning is flawed.”

“Yeah, it tightens during the orgasm, but then gets very loose right afterwards,” Celestia put her hooves together and then pulled them apart rapidly, “and...shloop!”

“I--it’s not a fair contest, sister. You have a height advantage on me,” Luna suggested.

“I believe that you’re shorter stature actually would give you leverage, sister,” she answered. “But if you would rather, feel free to move up as high on the ramp as you would like--so long as we still reach, that is.”

“I--I--” Luna was cut off before she got any farther.

“Let’s get started, shall we!” Celestia moved over to the side of the ramp, glancing first at Luna and then at the ramp itself. “We can always go for ‘Happy Birthday...’”

Immediately, Luna trotted up the ramp a short ways until she was standing just above her sister.

“Okay, let’s get this going,” Celestia said. “Oh, and Luna, you can use whatever hole works best for you...”

“Sister!” Luna gasped. “Do not even suggest such things! I do not even know how I’m going to get that...construct...inside of me as it is.”

“Really? Oh, let me help then.” Magic surrounded Luna’s body, lifting her and turning her around so that her flank was pointed towards Celestia, who had turned to face her sister directly. Another touch of magic and Luna’s flowing tail move to the side exposing her marehood.

“Mmmm,” Celestia purred unconsciously as she moved her head towards the prize.

The first thing that Luna felt was a small nip on her flank, causing her to twitch. “Sister, what are you doing?” She looked back over her shoulder, only able to see the alabaster figure crouched behind her. “What are you...oh. Oh!”

Her eyes closed. Celestia’s tongue was probing into her, pushing apart her folds to reach what lay beyond. Luna could feel the long, hot strokes from her sister, licking up along the length of her slit, and it was having a profound effect on her.

“Th--that feels very nice, Tia,” Luna sighed.

“Mm-hmm.” The vibrations from Celestia’s voice resonated along Luna’s sex, causing the mare to gasp. Celestia extended her tongue further, working it into her sister’s marehood, feeling the opening welcome the intrusion. She lingered there a moment, prodding and flicking the tip of her tongue to draw out a little extra response.

And then she pulled away.

“Oh!” Luna’s hips shook at the sudden absence she felt, almost falling as her sister set her back down onto the ramp.

“You’re ready,” Celestia said, the phallus once more floating into view.

“I...but now I’m farther along than you,” Luna said. “It’s still not fair.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll go first,” she stated. “Besides, I got really wet going down on you just now.”

Floating the Equalizer between her sister and herself, Celestia let it hover for a moment. Displaying it. Her tail lifted up and to the side, putting her dripping pussy fully on display for her sister.

Without thinking, Luna licked her lips. The phallus moved up to rub along the outside of Celestia’s sex, pressing it open until her lips caressed the tip of it in an odd kiss. It pushed against her opening, begging to be let inside, but the lips held it there briefly in an embrace of foreplay.

With a single thrust, Celestia plunged the massive dildo inside her, pulling a grunt from her as it pushed its way inside. She pulled the object halfway out again, and then pressed it inside once more, going deeper than before. Her mouth curled up and her legs opened slightly as she continued to work the object in and out of her cunt.

Luna suddenly realized that her mouth had gone completely dry. Closing it, she swallowed, hoping to pull some moisture back into it.

“Get over here, little sister,” Celestia growled, “I think I’ve easily caught up to you, now.”

Wordlessly, Luna turned, positioning herself directly behind her sister. Grasping the loose end of the phallus, she pressed it against her own sex, feeling its girth spreading her open. Clenching her mouth tight, Luna pushed herself back onto the Equalizer, a breath suddenly sucking in through her teeth. Her pussy flooded as the dildo moved further inside, terrified and excited to have something that huge inside it.

And then she felt it. Celestia began to rock back and forth, pushing and pulling the phallus and creating a thrusting motion inside Luna’s cunt. Her body began to lurch forward with each thrust, trying to build a rhythm with her sister.

“Me damn! You have such a fine, tight little snatch, sister,” Celestia purred. “Not quite as nice as mine, of course, but still fine.”

Luna grimaced. “Thou wishes!” She clamped down on the phallus, moving her body in an attempt to counter her sister’s action. “You chose the wrong contest this time, sister! My marehood is indeed tighter than yours, and thus will be the means to victory!”

A light chuckle sounded from Celestia as she saddled back, pressing her flank towards her sister until she felt flesh-on-flesh. “Talk is cheap, Luna. You want to make a statement, then prove it to me.”

“I shall!” Luna exclaimed, undulating back and forth, now hearing the sound of her ass slapping her sister’s, the dildo connecting them disappearing into both sisters.

And so it continued, each sister driving backwards, their own passion pushing them as they strove for victory. Luna kept her muscles clenched, the phallus barely moving inside her, but curving just right so that each thrust pushed up against her swollen clitoris bringing a steady torrent of moans in tempo. Celestia was letting the dildo move inside her, keeping just enough pressure to keep it inside her as she pulled out and shoved back.

Throughout, Celestia kept silent, mostly due to the fact that she was biting her lower lip, unseen by her sister. She would never admit it aloud, but her sister’s tight pussy was taking its toll on her. Each thrust was driving inside her, stimulating the walls of her own marehood and tapping against her cervix as it bottomed out.

Luna, on other hoof, was very vocal. Her moans quickly became whimpers, her head lowering slightly as she grew ever closer to personal crescendo.

For a moment the outcome was in question--but only for a moment.

“Ahhh!” Luna dropped her head to the ground, the control over her muscles fading. “Rut me, sister! Rut me like a dirty whorse!”

“Yes!” Celestia announced, her wings popping out to the side as she finally let herself speak. “Cum for me, sister! Cum for me and I’ll make it worth your while!”

A low, wordless noise emanated from the younger alicorn, her body dropping down to lie lower than her sister’s, despite the elevation from the throne ramp. Rapid, short breaths heaved from Luna, each one slightly louder than the previous, until they finally exploded into a piercing scream.

And Luna came. Her precious pony juices flooded from her pussy, pouring down her thighs as wave after wave of pleasure permeated her person. Waiting for the right moment, Celestia pulled back, yanking the dildo from her sister’s pussy completely, fulfilling the victory condition of the contest.

She wasn’t, however, done yet.

Turning around, her wings lifting her up, Celestia mounted her sister, magic turning the dildo around so that she once again penetrated the convulsing cunt of the Night Goddess.

Without hesitation, Celestia began to pound her sister. The dildo drove home, sending Luna into a second round of screaming, muffling the wet, sloppy sounds of her marehood drenching herself, her sister, and the ramp to the royal throne.

It also covered the labored sound of Celestia’s breathing. Her teeth clenched, lips pulled back in a snarl, she pushed herself closer and closer to climax. Each time she punished her sister’s pussy with a thrust, she felt the gigantic fake horsecock rub over her clit, inching her towards the edge of release.

Lowering her head down, Celestia nipped at her sister’s ear. “Who is the best princess?” she growled.

A puddle of drool was forming under Luna’s mouth, her eyes rolled back into her head, she was either too far gone to hear or too overwhelmed to answer.

“Answer me!” Celestia grabbed Luna’s wings and used that leverage to increase the speed and power of her grinding. “Who. Is. Best. Princess?!”

“Th--thou art...” Luna answered weakly, obeying the demand of her sister.

With a sound that hovered somewhere between a scream and a roar, Celestia came. Her head flew back, pointing her muzzle to the ceiling, and her wings flapped forcefully, pushing her deeper into her sister.

Then, it was over. Celestia slumped down, collapsing on top of Luna, who fell flat to the surface of the ramp, both of their chests rising and falling heavily. After a moment, Celestia rolled to her right, falling onto the ramp ungracefully.

The dildo stayed inside Celestia, who used her magic to pull it free from her sex and float it up to her mouth, where she ran her tongue along the entire length of the toy.

“I--I thought I had you that time,” Luna said softly.

“Not yet, little sister,” she laughed. “Though I urge you to keep trying.”

Turning to stare at Celestia, Luna smiled. The larger alicorn moved her head, bringing her muzzle up and kissing Luna deeply, their tongues playing with each other for a brief moment.

“I am still more popular among our subjects,” Luna said with a grin.

Celestia narrowed her eyes, and upturned her mouth. A soft chuckle grew to a louder laugh, as Celestia wrapped her wing over Luna and brought her horn over to scrape along her sister’s.

They lay like that for several moments, running into more than a minute, when the sound of a door opening caught their attention.

Looking over to the main chamber doors, a bright pink alicorn with a multi-colored mane came prancing into the room, a wide smile and wide eyes shining on her face.

“Oh yeah! Did you two see the latest polls?” Cadance asked. “Ninety-three percent approval rating for the pretty pink princess!” Her head bobbed repeatedly. “Who’s best princess? I’m best princess!”

Celestia and Luna turned as one to look at each other. Slowly, they turned back to stare at Cadance with a predatory smile.

Her eyes darted back and forth between her aunts as Cadance spoke.

“What?”

the end