Rainbow Dash, The Brainiac

by Princess Glitzy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1439

Rainbow Dash is definitely not a super genius, right?

Rainbow Dash is definitely not a super genius, right?

Published 2013-08-10 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-10 19:40:01 UTC

She's Not An Egghead... I Think

She's Not An Egghead... I Think

Twilight ran straight into Rarity. "Ahh!" Rarity stood up and wiped the dirt off of her once perfectly clean coat. "Twilight! I just finished styling my mane and now it's ruined! There's dirt everywhere!"

"I'm so sorry Rar-" She looked over at Rarity, a mare with a perfect mane and totally clean coat. "There's nothing on you and your mane is fine."

"Yes there is! Can't you see it! I have a dirt stain on my shoulder and several hairs are out of place on my head!"

"Uh, well, I- I see it now. Yeah, it's really bad and I'm really sorry." The sarcasm was obvious.

"Well, I guess that I can move on because you're sorry. You better have a good reason for being in such a hurry, though! The mares and I were talking about our darling little pets." Apparently, it wasn't that obvious.

"I was just in such a hurry to tell you something amazing!" The five mares looked at Twilight with excitement.

"I've calculated that 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y) is 23x + 4y - z! Isn't that exciting?!" Rainbow Dash stepped forward towards Twilight and proceeded to say something nopony expected.

"Actually, Twilight, you did the math wrong. The correct answer is 23x + 15y - 3z." Everypony was silent with gaping mouths, until of course Twilight broke that silence with a question all of them wanted to ask.

"Rainbow, how do you know that?"

"Uh, I happened to hear the answer somewhere and I knew that your answer was wrong!"

"Dashie! Don't lie to us! You know that you must never lie and you must never, ever break a Pinkie Promise... ever." Pinkie stared daggers at Rainbow Dash.

"Pinks! You don't have to worry! I- I'm not lying! I'm so not an egghead or anything! I'm all about flying remember! I don't have any time for studying things like bio-nuclear physics, molecular structure, the Paleolithic Age, Goldbach's conjecture, advanced technical literature or any of that nerdy stuff."

"Rainbow? Ah didn't understand a word that ya said." Applejack frowned slightly, feeling rather stupid.

"Gotta go! You know, preparing for the Wonderbolts and stuff!" And with that, Rainbow Dash flew off like a bullet.

"Um... I- I know that this may come off a little um... rude, but what the hell? Sorry." Everypony's jaws dropped for the second time that day.

"Fluttershy?" Twilight's right eye twitched.

"Oh, I'm sorry for saying that. It's okay if you are um... mad at me. I deserve it."

"No, ya did nothing wrong. Ya said exactly what we were all thinkin'."

"Dashie was being all crazy like when I thought you mares hated me and I-" Rarity put a hoof over her mouth.

"I think that we'd rather not relive that, darling."

"Okie dokey lokie!" Twilight stepped forward.

"I need to leave. I need to reshelve the books in the library, yeah, that's what I'm doing. Bye!" She waved goodbye and teleported back to the library to reshelve the books. She isn't going to study Rainbow Dash and see if she's a genius or anything.

"I just don't get it! I've searched through all of my memories to see if anything pointed to Rainbow Dash being smart! I even put them in order in my notebook!" Spike raised his eyebrow at Twilight.

"Did you just say that you thought Rainbow Dash was stupid?" Twilight gasped.

"Of course not! I just said that I didn't think anything pointed to Rainbow Dash being smart!" He frowned.

"So, in other words, nothing proved that Rainbow Dash was smart, so you assumed that she was stupid." Twilight smiled.

"Yes! That's exac- oh..."

"You can't judge a book by its cover, Twilight."

"I didn't! I promise!" Spike's eyes narrowed.

"Pinkie Promise then." Twilight was silent. "I knew it! Stop your stupid experiment! Who cares if Rainbow Dash is smart or not?"

"You know what? You're right. You can go hang out with Rarity today. It's my thanks for you helping me see that I was just being crazy over nothing." Spike's eyes widened.

"Really?!" A nod was all that Spike got in return. "Bye, Twilight!" Twilight watched to make sure that he left and then jumped right back into her notes.

"I must conduct some tests!"

"Do you know the answer to this problem?! 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)!" Colgate flinched slightly, but then regained her composure.

"Uhhh... no. Twilight, are you okay?" Twilight cocked her head.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine, why do you ask?"

"Your mane, it's crazy."

"What?! Oh, yeah, it may be a little messed up, but I'm busy studying something so it's okay."

"That doesn't make any sense." Twilight's eye twitched.

"Bye, Colgate!" Twilight ran up to Lyra.

"Answer this problem! 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)!"

"I'm kind of busy." She pointed to Bon Bon.

"Oh, that's alright, she can answer too." Lyra face-hoofed.

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm conducting an experiment, so I need to know if you can answer this problem."

"What experiment?"

"Oh, I'm trying to see if Rainbow D- Uh, I just want to know how smart the ponies in Ponyville are?" Bon Bon's eyes narrowed.

"That sounded like a question. What are you really up to?" Twilight's hair started to frizz again.

"Bye, Bon Bon! Bye, Lyra! I have to go over there now!" She ran as fast as she could and accidentally tripped over a bench. "I'm okay!" Bon Bon turned to Lrya.

"Was that strange or what?"

"No, that's Twilight, there's nothing normal about her." I'll just go faster! She ran up to Roseluck.

"Do you know that answer to 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)?"

"No, I-"

"Bye!"

"Carrot Top! What's the answer to this question! 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)!"

"What?"

"3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)!"

"Are you okay?"

"Fine! Answer the question!"

"No..." Now, I just have to ask everyone else in Ponyville!

Twilight ran up to Thunderlane. Now I can see how smart the average pegasus is! Genius!

"Can you answer this question? 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)?"

"Are you speaking Equestrian because I didn't understand a word you just said."

"So you can't answer?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Bye!" Twilight poked Cloudkicker.

"What?"

"Answer 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)!"

"I repeat, what?!"

"Bye!" Twilight teleported over to Blossomforth.

"What's the answer to 3 (x+y-z) + 4 (5x + 3y)?"

"I don't know the answer! How should I know?"

"Moving on!" Just a few more...

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* "How did she not hear? Maybe I can just let myself in? I shouldn't, Celestia may find out that I broke in and then I could be banished, or put in a dungeon, or put in a dungeon in the place that I'm banished too! Calm down, Rainbow Dash will understand and it's for science!"

Twilight pushed open the door and walked into the hallway. "Rainbow Dash!" No answer. "Rainbow!" Still no answer. "It's Twilight! Where are you?" She was only greeted with more silence. "What if she's hurt?! I should look for her to make sure that she`s okay. Yeah! Then, I can tell her what I've learned and I'll see if she really is smart! Great!"

She walked into the kitchen. "Anypony in here?" Twilight, not paying attention, bumped into a pan hanging form the ceiling. "When did that pan get there?!" Rainbow Dash has had the pan forever, good job Twilight, you've officially gone crazy!

She looked in the living room, and found nothing, but a sandwich. She totally didn't eat it or anything. Twilight looked in the bedroom and only found a magazine called "Playmare" with a picture of Soarin on the cover. She checked the bathroom as well. Nothing.

Twilight Sparkle turned to leave, but her hoof brushed against a switch on the wall. "What's this?" Suddenly, the wall moved in that spot and a downstairs entrance was shown. "Rainbow?" She slowly snuck down the stairs and found a door with light coming through the bottom and through the little bit of space left open.

She walked up to it and looked through the crack. On the other side was Rainbow Dash in a lab-coat working with chemicals and a mathematic expression with a few diagrams on a whiteboard in the corner.

Twilight turned around and proceeded to try and forget everything that she just saw. From then on Twilight never tried to figure out anything about any of her friends ever again. I'm just kidding! Twilight's still a weirdo stalker!