Fine and Dandy Until it's Sandy

by Bolding

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Romance, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 3372

You, Anon, decide to take your marefriend, Rarity, to the beach. What could possibly go wrong?

After all the trouble of sneaking onto a train to get away from the troubles of home, you, Anonymous, and your marefriend, Rarity, finally make it to the beach.

It should be a relaxing day, right?

This is an Anon in Equestria story, featuring you as Anonymous. It is also in a second person perspective. If you have anything against the two conditions, then it's safe to say you will not enjoy the story.

Published 2013-08-09 04:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-09 04:20:02 UTC

I think this thing has a story

Rarity bumps you once again in hopes of waking you up.

“Anonymous, wake up! You’re snoring and it’s embarrassing!” she grumbles, covering her face with her hoof from the fellow passengers. Rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes, you look around and try to remember what’s going on. From the looks of it, you’re still on the train and you’ve nodded off. Again.

A handkerchief levitates in front of your face, cleaning the dribbles of saliva from your chin. Rarity scoffs as you try to remove the cloth from your face, not wanting to seem incapable of taking care of yourself. After a short fight with a small rag and magic aura, Rarity giggles and places the object back in her saddle bag.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m dating a foal or a stallion,” she comments, playfully rolling her eyes. You raise a brow that she quickly acknowledges. “Oh, you know what I mean!” Shaking your head, you check your watch and look out the window. It was only eight in the morning and yet it was so dark out.

“Must be a tunnel,” you mutter to yourself. In a sudden burst, the sun pours through the windows, almost blinding you. Rarity, who is now over your lap and at the window, peers out at the spectacle before her as you regain your vision. A beautiful sandy beach stretches out across the shore accompanied by a bright blue ocean. Small wooden structures litter the land, looking like a small toy village. Rarity lets out a small squee of excitement as her eyes dart across the scenery.

If it weren’t for Rarity’s friends, you don’t think this trip would have ever happened. Being in a relationship with Rarity proves rather difficult when her friend are constantly down her neck, along with her sister and the loads of work that is always piled on her. So to get away from it all, you suggested a trip to the beach. It wasn’t easy: to avoid them from seeing you guys, you had to board the train at 4am and, being the bedhead you are, it proved rather difficult. You didn’t want to startle Rarity and ruin the trip, but you’re pretty sure someone was watching you both as you entered the train.

“Oh, isn’t it beautiful, darling? I must say, I’ve never been to the beach and regret waiting until now to do so,” Rarity coos, breaking your from your thoughts. She takes her seat beside you, unable to sit still. “This is going to be wonderful! We’ll get ourselves some barbequed zucchini, go tanning, read a nice novel together—”

“And go swimming,” you interject. Rarity’s face goes from pure bliss to somewhat concerned. She nods her head and gives you one of her forced smiles. For all the time you’ve been dating, it was now obvious when she was faking one of her signature smirks.

“Yes! Of course, we’ll go swimming as well,” she whispers, refusing to make eye contact with you. Placing your hand on her shoulder, you try to get an answer.

“Is something wrong, babe?” you ask. Rarity looks around tentatively before returning her gaze back to you. Before she can answer, the conductor enters the cart and clears his throat.

“We will be arriving at Cape Hay in five minutes. Please collect your luggage and be ready to exit the train in an orderly fashion.” Rarity starts grabbing her bags with her magic, checking over the luggage and completely avoiding your question. Shrugging it off, you act as if nothing is wrong and help her out. If it’s a serious problem, she’ll tell you when she feels ready.

The train’s brakes screech as it slows down to a stop, piercing the ears of the passengers and boarders alike. As you exit the train, the humidity immediately washes over your skin, leaving an unsettled feeling of discomfort all over you. Rarity exits right after you, fanning her face with a magazine.

“Goodness gracious! This is disgusting! I might end up sweating from all this heat.” You roll your eyes as she heads towards the station’s exit. Unfortunately, you were stuck with the usual task whenever you took her out traveling: being the pack mule. Coolers, umbrellas, towels, clothes; it’s like it never ends. Trudging through the crowd of ponies, you eventually catch up with Rarity and head down the staircase outside the station.

Rarity looks at the sandy surface with excited eyes as dozens upon dozens of ponies and various creatures walk about the beach, sporting different outfits for the environment. Rarity shields her eyes with her foreleg as she scans the area. Grabbing her sunhat from her clothes bag, you hand it to her and reach for your baseball cap.

“Where should we sit, Anonymous?” she questions, looking around the crowded shoreline. You begin walking down the sidewalk, away from the huge crowd of ponies.

“Let’s find a less crowded area. This area is too packed and will be more annoying than relaxing.” Rarity looks between you and the beach, showing evident signs that she doesn’t want to walk. You turn to her, giving her a stern look. “Trust me on this, hun.”

Rarity rears her head back once more before submitting and following your lead. After about fifteen minutes of walking, you find a nice area where only a few ponies lay. Dropping the luggage on the soft sand, you start unpacking and setting up your spot as Rarity looks around.

“Anon, there’s no changing room around here,” she whines, searching the area. You resist the urge to beat yourself to death with the umbrella.

“Rarity, you don’t normally wear clothes.” She throws you a sinister glare as you pitch the umbrella and lay out the towels. Rolling your eyes, you let out a distraught sigh. “Fine, I’ll take care of it.”

Rarity grabs her bathing suit and waits as you grab one of the extra towels to cover her.

“Don’t you dare peek while I dress!” she snarls while climbing into her suit. You snort and turn your head playfully.

“You know, like I might see something I haven’t already.” A sheer pain travels up your shin as her hoof makes direct contact with it. “Ow! It was a joke!”

She grunts a simple, “Hmmph!” before removing herself from the towels curtaining her. Rarity sports a red, lacy one piece suit with frills on the end of each sleeve.

“You look even more amazing in that,” you coo, practically piercing her with your stares. She blushes as she passes by you to sit under the umbrella. It was a good thing you learned from past mistakes. Had you said, “You look amazing in that,” she wouldn’t have hesitated to snap at you, telling you you’re a horrible person for not thinking she’s amazing all the time. Rarity grabs a bottle of suntan coat lotion from her bag and hovers it in front of you via magic.

“Would you mind, Anonymous? You know how to rub it in well.” Raising an eyebrow, you snatch the bottle from midair and squirt it onto your hands, lathering it up. It was weird, putting suntan lotion on a pony. Wasn’t their coat supposed to protect them from sunburn? Shaking the trivial thought away, you lightly press your hands against the back of her neck.

“It’s so cold!” she squeals, nearly bucking you in the groin. She puts on a cheesey grin as you give her a disapproving leer. Resuming your work, you stroke your hands against her coat, making sure to apply enough pressure to massage the lotion onto her skin. Her neck cranes in rhythm with you hand movements as you move down to her front legs. Moving to her front, you start working on her cannon, making sure to working a circular motion. She bites her lower lip, trying her best to suppress a moan of pleasure.

If there was anything that you knew best about Rarity, it was how to get her aroused. And being as sensitive as she is with massages, this wasn’t a difficult thing to pull off. Applying another film of lotion to your hands, you lather it up and make your way behind her.

“Anon, it’s fine, I can take car— Ah!” She’s cut off as you firmly grasp her buttocks, making sure to dig your palms into them. Rarity lets out a shrill moan as you caress her cheeks, gripping your fingers into her firm behind. Sliding your hand over her swimsuit, you push against her groin, teasing her further.

“Stop it, Anon! There’s other ponies around!” she breathes through her teeth, showing clear signs of distress. Removing your hand, you look around. Sure enough, the once empty area was beginning to fill with more ponies, griffons, and even diamond dogs. Rarity takes a seat, covering her backside. With an ireful glare, she scoffs and turns her head away.

“You have no respect, Anon!” Rolling your eyes, you lean in and kiss her on the cheek.

“Don’t act like you weren’t enjoying every second of it.” Her face grows a darker shade of red as you dig into the cooler for something to drink. Grabbing a water, you hand it to Rarity. Her horn glows a magical light blue that also wraps around the bottle. As you dig into the container for another bottle, a dark shadow covers over the bit of sun that was providing you light. Looking over your shoulder, you notice a large diamond dog standing next to Rarity.

“Hey, baby. Why not ditch the loser and come hang out with me?” he asks, pointing at you. Rarity scoffs and chuckles.

“Not a chance! I would never leave Anon for anyone, especially a creep like you,” she replies. The diamond dog’s face goes from calm to irritated almost instantly. He turns to you with a menacing smile across his face. With his leg cocked back, he kicks a giant wave of sand at you. Shielding your face, you back away from the barrage and attempt to stand up.

“See, baby? This guy’s a chump! Come with me. I ain’t asking any more.” He reaches out to grab Rarity by the hoof but is quickly caught off guard by the left jab you throw at his face. The diamond dog backs up, rubbing his cheek and looking a little stunned by surprise attack. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize you just swung at him. The bit of courage you had before dissipates as he makes his way towards you. Reaching into your pockets, you look for anything that can assist you in this one sided fight. The grains sift through your fingers as you grab the handful of sand in your pocket. He grows closer as you remove your hand and toss the sand into his face.

“Pocket sand!” you bellow, making sure to aim for his eyes. The diamond dog, not aware of the situation, takes the small cloud to the face, blinding him. Howls fill the air as he groans from the pain, giving you enough time to rear your leg back.

“Roshambo!” With all your might, you swing your leg forward, aiming for the diamond dog’s jewels. The howling stops as soon as you make contact. He stands motionless for a moment, not making a sound, before falling on his back. His eyes roll back as you wave a hand over his face.

“Anonymous!” The hairs on your neck stand straight as Rarity’s voice courses your ears. “That was so brutish of you! Why would you do such a thing?!” Scratching the back of your head, you put on a nervous smirk.

“S-sorry Rarity! I just, you know, got into the moment and went overboard.” She emits a disgruntled sigh before looking over the now-unconscious diamond dog. An eerie feeling surrounds you, almost as if being watching. Looking around, you notice that’s exactly what’s happening. Everyone on the beach is now staring at you, but something is amiss.

They’re smiling. A few stallions approach you, ecstatic looks on their faces.

“Hey, thanks brah! This guy’s been causing mad beef for everypony here, but nopony wanted to start a barney with the honkey,” one of them says, poking at the dog with his hoof. “We’ll take care of this guy. Why don’t you guys just cruise it and enjoy the waves?” Grabbing Rarity by the hoof, you lift her up and nod your head. She struggles to get out of your grasp as you hold her.

“Sounds like a plan! Thanks guys!” you blurt, sprinting off towards the ocean. You didn’t want to be anywhere near the guy when he woke up. As soon as you’ve covered enough distance between yourself and the stallions, you put Rarity down, who gives you the most sour pout you have ever seen.

“I can’t believe you, Anonymous! Not only did you resort to violence, but you even have the nerve to grab me and mess up my mane!” Rolling your eyes, you walk towards the ocean and let the cool water brush against your feet.

“I’m sorry for that, but I didn’t want to see anything bad happen to you. As your... special somepony...” You shudder at the sound of the word. “...I feel entitled to protect you, no matter the cost.” Her pout slowly turns to a smile as a slight blush makes its way across her cheeks.

“Well, I suppose I could you forgive you this one time. But,” she continues with a stark turn of her head, “if you ever do that again, I may have to find a new ‘man’.” She peeks out of the corner of her eye, trying to piece your reaction. Giving her a doubtful stare, you shrug.

“If you can find another human in this world, I’ll commend you. Until then, it looks like you’re stuck with me.” She gives you a deadpan stare as you chuckle to yourself and head to the water. Something grabs you by the shorts, stopping you in your tracks. Looking behind you, you notice Rarity’s magic aura tugging at your trunks, an almost scared look on her face.

“Can we go somewhere else? I don’t... feel like swimming,” she mumbles, not keeping eye contact with you. Walking back to the mare, you kneel down before her and stare into her eyes. She looks back into yours, a hint of fear in them.

“You don’t know how to swim.” She tilts her back in surprise, fumbling her tongue in hopes of spitting out an excuse.

“T-that’s not it!” she stammers, looking around for anything to assist her in this clearly one sided ordeal. “I’m j-just—”

Cutting her short, you wrap your arms around her torso and lift her up.

“Anon, what are you doing? Put me down this instant!” Walking towards the shoreline, she begins squirming and struggling to remove herself from your grip, readying her horn’s magic. With a simple tap of the finger, you touch her horn and cut her magic short. “Please, Anon! This isn’t very gentlestallion-like! Let me go!”

Trying your hardest not to laugh as she creates a scene, you let the cool water run against your feet again as you enter the ocean. Her struggle cuts short as fear instills her; she goes completely rigid as you lower her down. She raises her hooves up, trying her hardest to put enough distance between her and the water. Rarity lets out a small shriek as the water touches her legs and she fidgets like a frightened child. In the spur of the moment, you lose your grip and drop her into the ocean. She throws her hooves around in a panic, trying to regain her composure in this new environment.

“Help! Help! I can’t swim! I can’t swim~!” Covering your mouth, you hold in your laughter as you watch her ‘drown’ in a foot of water. After a short moment or two, Rarity finally realizes
why you’ve been holding in your laughter. Her face shows clear signs of annoyance as she glares deeply at you. Crossing your arms, you return the glare.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you can’t swim?” you ask, a stern tone in your voice. Rarity’s look turns to that of grimace as her ears tilt back. She looks away from you and grumbles something under her breath.

“I can’t hear you,” you mockingly groan.

“It’s something everypony should know how to do. It’s embarrassing to tell anypony, especially you. You always poke fun at me for little things. Even if it is playful, it hurts,” she mutters, still refusing to make any eye contact. Kneeling down on the soft sand, you grab Rarity by the bottom of her muzzle and bring her face to yours.

“Listen, I know I play around a lot, but if this is something that truly bothers you, all you have to do is tell me. If my jokes have really been bothering you that much, I’ll stop,” you note, giving her a peck on the nose. “How about I teach you how to swim? It shouldn’t be too difficult.”

She focuses her gaze out toward the ocean then back to you, a clear sign of fear still in her eyes. For a moment, she hesitates, the words practically sitting on the tip of her tongue. She swallows her pride and nods. Stretching your arms out, she wraps her forelegs around your neck and allows you to carry her. As you move out to deeper waters, Rarity’s grip around your neck grows tighter. Slowly, you lower her into the ocean, making sure to hold onto her forelegs for support.

“Alright, we’ll start with something simple. I just want you to kick your back legs until your butt becomes level with the water.” She gives you a nervous nod and does as told. For several minutes, you wade around in the waist deep water holding onto the mare as if her life depended on it. After a few moments of kicking, you wrap your arms around her torso as she grows still.

“D-don’t let me go!” she spurts, almost as if she’s going to cry. Letting out a soft chuckle, you rub her belly in hopes of calming her down.

“I won’t, trust me.” Her tense body loosens up a bit as you continue to stroke her underside. After a few minutes or so, a smile creeps onto her face, followed by giggles. You can’t help but follow in suit, letting out a few chuckles as you direct her through the calm waters.

“This is so much fun!” Rarity exclaims, kicking her hooves without so much as a care in the world. Wearing a slick grin, you remove your hand from her sides and watch her move on her own. It takes a moment before she realizes you let go and goes into a frenzy.

“Anon! You promised you wouldn’t let me go!” she shrieks, kicking her hooves in a panic. Raising your hands defensively, you laugh.

“I know, but look! You’re swimming without my help.” Rarity takes a moment to look down at the water she’s wading in before an ecstatic expression covers her face.

“You’re right!” she cries, making her way back to you. “I’m actually doing it!” With a shake of your head, you dive into the water and join her in her fun.

Rarity’s head leans against your shoulder as you look out the window of the train, completely exhausted. The warm sun glows across the horizon as you wrap a blanket over the mare and quietly chuckle to yourself. It was one hell of a task to get Rarity out of the water; the damn mare swam way too fast for a beginner. Her eyes peek open as you bring her in.

“Thank you, Anon. Not only for today, but for everything.” She lifts her head up and pecks you on cheek before nuzzling you chest. “It’s a full time job dealing with me, isn’t it.”

“I wouldn’t be doing the job if it didn’t pay so well,” you kid, returning the kiss before falling asleep.

Author's Note

Meeeeeeeeeeeh.