Griffin the Griffin

by BlackWing

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy, Gilda, Adventure, Slice of Life, Sex, Human, Main 6, Diamond Dogs, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 345160

Name's Griffin, I'm sarcastic, I'm crude, and I'm a brony.

I'm Griffin, not much else to it. I've been bullied most of my life, which left me bitter and sarcastic. I'm a closet brony. What? You think I'm just gonna go out and tell a world that hates me that I watch a cartoon intended for little girls? I don't feel like giving the punks at school any more ammo. That's when cosmic powers decide I need to take a trip to my favorite fantasy land. But all is not sunshine and rainbows and it certainly won't be after I'm done with it. Equestria from the point of view of an extremely pissed off teenager, with a twist. Rust, the author of 'The Ballad of Echo the Diamond dog' is awesomesauce enough to have a cross over between our stories. Carnelian is a boss when it comes to art. Part of the 'Chess Game of the Gods'.

Violence, gratuitous swearing, and sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Published 2012-02-22 08:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-25 04:20:29 UTC

Can I Get The Number Of That Bus? (2)

Can I Get The Number Of That Bus?

"Ow." Feeling my body, it was pain. What happened? Punks on a bridge, net cafe, weird old man with no distinguishable traits, passed out. Okay, time to wake up. Move arm? Check. Move leg? Weird, but check. Now open eyes. I said open eyes. come on, work.....

"Oh hey, you're waking up. About time, I was getting tired of waiting." Hey, wait, I know that voice.

"I feel like I just got hit by a car." Really want my eyes open now.

"No, you didn't get hit by a cart. You're just an idiot who passed out in the badlands."

'Where have I heard that voice before? Finally! Got em to work.'

When I do eventually open my eyes, and find an eagle looking back at me. A BIG eagle.

"Holy Shit!" I jumped, and fell out of bed.

"Smooth move, moron." Taking a closer look, I saw that it wasn't an eagle, it was a griffin. Now I know where I know that voice from. Of all the people, or ponies, or whatever that I could run into, it had to be freaking Gilda. I cracked my neck, (yeah, I have a bad habit, so sue me), then by back, then my knuckles. Looking at myself, I didn't have hands, I had claws. Still satisfying to crack em though. Gilda shuddered. Apparently, I found her pet peeve. Mine is nails on a chalkboard. Wait a minute.....

*Loading*

*Loading*

*Loading*

*Done*

'Claws?! Why the hell do I have claws?' I kind of expected to have hooves. At the same time, I still didn't expect this to be happening at all. I put my claw on my head, then slowly turned myself over, and got up. I turned and looked at myself. I had wings, feathers. I also had fur, and my feet were now paws. And I had a lion's tail.

'So, I guess I'm a griffin too. Well, at least I'm not a donkey. Hey, this isn't all bad. I'm diggin the claws. Wings are also awesome in my book.' I felt stiff, so I stretched. Since I wasn't used to having wings, it took me a while to figure out how to use them. I tried moving my shoulders, arms, legs, and tensing the various muscles until I found some that I wasn't used to.

'Bingo.' I flapped them experimentally, flared them out, then tucked them in to my side neatly, enjoying the warm, fluffy, fuzzy feeling the feats gave to my skin. I'm fluffy!

'I'll have to thank that guy, if I ever see him again.' I was taking being thrown into a new world rather well.

'If I'm really here, awesome, if I'm dreaming, don't wake me, and if I'm crazy, I don't wanna be sane.' Then I noticed Gilda was looking at me strangely.

'Right, I'm checking myself out. Not strange behaviour at all *cough sarcasm cough*'

"You feelin okay?" She asked.

'Huh, so Gilda does care about other's. I better not let on that I know anything, I don't need to go breaking the fourth wall. Let's go with amnesia.'

"Where am I?" I asked.

"You serious?" She asked back.

"If I knew where I was, I wouldn't be asking you, whoever you are." Time for the duel of sass and sarcastic remarks.

"I'm Gilda, you better remember it. You're in the tail feather mountain range, in a little mud hole village on the edge of the Dominion-Equestria border." She replied.

"Dominion? Equestria?" I know what Equestria is, but I haven't got a clue about the Dominion, and I was playing ignorant.

"Come on, really? Are you that dumb? Who are you any way?" She asked, getting slightly annoyed.

"Griffin."

"Yeah, I know you're a griffin, I asked who not what." She was starting to get mad.

"Griffin."

"Your NAME dumbass." She was almost yelling.

"All I can remember is my name is Griffin. I guess my parents were unimaginative or something." I had just realized the irony of the situation. I'm a griffin, named Griffin. I had to make up a quick excuse.

"All you can remember? Amnesia huh. And yeah, your parents would have to be pretty stupid if that's all they could come up with." I didn't mind her mocking my parents. Personally, I think they're dumb too.

"Do you have a... umm..." I stumbled trying to find the right word on purpose, to sell the story. I may never be accused of not being a clever bastard. "A map! Yeah, that's it."

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Gilda said in her normal bitchy tone.

"Because I wanna find out where the hell I am."

"Good enough." She pulled out a scroll. I had already gotten used to walking on four legs. I've been beat up enough to be forced to crawl, and this was actually easier since I wasn't in severe pain, and my legs bent the right way for it. I walked over, and took a look. It was a world map.

In the north east, there was a range of mountains labeled 'Dominion', surrounded by valleys. In the middle, there was the largest area, labeled Equestria. North-center was labeled 'Gem Fido' Which I guessed was Diamond Dog area. To the north-west was simply called 'Dragon Badlands'. Center-east was an ocean. Center-west was the same ocean. I guess it stretched all the way around the planet. South west was labeled 'Volcanic Wastes. Didn't sound too hospitable. Center-south was the 'Feline Jungle". I assumed some sort of cats lived there, well away from the dogs. South- east was 'Black Marsh'

'Like in the Elder Scrolls?' Now I was just being stupid. I looked for the tail feather mountain range. It was on the southern border of the Dominion, fairly near the eastern edge of the map. If she found me in the badlands, that meant that this was a complete world map, and it wrapped around. Sure, the mountains were near the border, but not that close.

"How did I get here?" It was an important question.

"Like I said, you passed out in the badlands, here." She pointed to a spot on the map. "I found you unconscious, so I brought you around to here." She pointed at the northern most mountain on the peak.

"Seriously, what were you doing there? Being in those badlands is dangerous. You'd make a quick snack for a hungry dragon." Gilda was all heart. I was about to say I thought dragons only ate gems, but then I remembered that Spike had hay fries once. Good thing too, because that would have blown my story.

"So you carried me all the way here?" Gilda started blushing. "Yeah big deal. And before you ask, I was there because I can handle myself, and I wanted to be alone. As for why, none of your business."

'Rainbow Dash. She's probably sore about that whole incident, and is beating herself up over it. Better let it go. Don't wanna open any wounds.' I looked at the map again, and found Ponyville. I figured I'd want to go there eventually, but as for right now, there was no hurry. I'd get there soon enough. Besides, it was on the southern half of Equestria. I'd have to cross half the continent to get there.

*Grruuuggggle*

'Wow stomach, nice timing.' I laughed weakly at Gilda.

"So, what's for eats?" I asked.

"That depends, you remember how to fly?" She had a habit of answering questions with more questions. Now that I think about it, our personalities are pretty similar.

"Nope, but I'll figure it out on the way. I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid."

'Let her chew on that one for a while.' She just laughed. Well, let's get going then. Looking around, I saw that I was actually in a cave. Either griffins built their nests in caves, which is entirely possible, or the village was actually below us.

"Well, since this is pretty much a cliff, time to see if I can fly!" I jumped out of the cave. I figured my griffin brain would take over and let me fly. It didn't.

"YOU DUMBASS!" Gilda screeched. She dove after me, intent on catching me before I killed myself. I tumbled down the cliff a bit, keeping my limbs tucked in to avoid breaking them, before I landed on a dead tree, breaking it. It started moving down the mountain. The steep slope was not all rocky and full of pits and boulders but rather smooth stone, almost like pavement. How that was possible.... well, this is a cartoon. I guess they never animated the mountain details, except in 'Dragonshy'. Or is it? Maybe it's a real world that we just peek into on occasion? Not gonna go into that, don't wanna crush the broken remains of the fourth wall.

Anyway, I was still on top of the log, wrapping my arms around it desperately, now careening down the mountain. I just so happen to be an amateur skateboarder. I'm good enough to go down a steep hill without falling off, and a log was much sturdier than a skateboard, albeit more bumpy. I stood on it sideways, bipedal style, and ripped off some of the bark. I dug into the wood with my front claws for more stability, one in front and one behind. Now I could actually steer this death trap.

"Woohooo!" I yelled, experimentally using my new wings for balance. That made it much easier in all aspects, and also slowed me down quite a bit as I flared them out. Gilda flew down beside me, and looked at me like I was nuts.

"Well, that's got to be the dumbest way to go down a mountain." She told me once we reached the bottom. After being thrown off, I slammed my face into the dirt, and was still picking myself up when she landed.

'Legs, check. Arms, check. Wings, check. Face...... ouch. Nothing broken though. I guess I really do have a hard head.'

"Yeah, but if you can't fly, it beats getting pummeled by rocks." I said, lifting the log I rode as I coughed up some dirt I had swallowed, showing it's underside. It had been worn over halfway through by grinding on the mountain face.

"Fair enough." She smiled.

We climbed down the rest of the mountain, and found ourselves in a forested area. Gilda kept looking at me and smiling, or what I thought was a smile. It's hard to tell with just a beak.

'No way, is she falling for me? I wonder. Is just Gilda mean, or are all griffins? If that's the case, I'll both fit in perfectly, and am probably the nicest griffin she's ever met.'

"Hey, dumbass, over here." She interrupted my thoughts. I didn't care that she was calling me dumbass instead of Griffin. Honestly? It's not the worst thing I've been called.

"See that deer?" She was whispering. "Let's catch it."

"Let me guess, you're gonna fly over head, and I'm gonna chase on foot, driving it out in the open." I was whispering as well.

"You catch on quick for a moron." She teased.

"As I said, I may be an idiot, but I am by no means stupid. Just look at how I went down that mountain like a pro after plan A failed." She laughed again, then backed away before flying up, as not to scare the grazing deer. I looked up, and she signaled that there was an open field about 200 meters to the east. Since I was facing north, I had to circle around stealthily to the west. I pulled it off.

Another thing you learn when everybody hates you is how not to be seen. Avoiding bullies, running from bullies, fighting bullies. Yeah, that was my life. So, not only was I good at hiding, I was fast, a quick thinker, and knew all the weak spots. Not a bad skill set when you're trying to survive.

I signaled to get ready, and she started circling like the bird of prey she was. I crouched down like a cat about to pounce and moved in closer to the deer till I was directly behind it. I got closer still, and it still didn't see me. I got even closer, it STILL didn't see me. I took one more step, and stepped on a branch.

*Crack*

'Fuck.'

The deer looked up. I stayed perfectly still. It didn't see me, but it knew it wasn't alone. It was looking around, and slowly started to move. I pounced.

The chase was on. It was headed east, just as planned. Gilda was flying over head. She was fairly fast, and had no trouble keeping up. I was running about as fast as the deer. At first, it began to pull away as I hadn't yet figured out how to gallop, although it came pretty quick as my instincts kicked in.

'Oh sure, NOW my griffin brain decides to work. Where were you when I jumped off a cliff?'

The deer would quickly dart around pieces of bush and undergrowth, while I would just bash through them, not bothering with trying to go around. I watched how it moved, and used that to plan my course around trees and other, more solid obstacles. I was keeping up with it quite well. Suddenly, something changed. Everything seemed to slow down, I felt strong. I didn't even feel the pain from the branches hitting me. It was a feeling I knew all too well. A feeling that I had felt often when dealing with those worthless punks at school. A feeling I loved. Adrenaline.

We approached the clearing, but sensing the trap, the deer suddenly darted off to the left, and I followed in pursuit. It changing direction meant that while I was headed directly for it, it was not headed directly away from me. I closed in on it and jumped, knocking it over and pinning it to the ground. I held it's head down with my left claw, and it's body with my right. It was trapped, completely over powered. It looked at me with eyes begging me not to kill it. I drove my beak into it's neck at the base of the skull just behind the ear, killing it instantly.

I had never killed an animal before. The closest I had ever come was shooting a bow at a foam deer target. Although my eyes are bad and I needed glasses, I was an excellent shot, even better than my former friend who had been doing it for years, but stopped doing it after said friend abandoned me, just like everyone else. Still, I was a natural. As a griffin, I didn't have my poor human eyesight. In fact, since I was at least part bird of prey, I could see far better than any human could. I could instantly focus on anything, no matter how small, between on the end of my beak to over a mile away. It was freaking awesome to not have to strain my eyes. Gilda flew down, and was looking rather impressed.

"Hey, nice catch. Ya killed it already? Seems like you at least remember that. Doesn't look like you carved up the pelt any." She was rather happy that I had killed it, but at the same time seemed a little annoyed that she didn't get to. I felt really good with the whole 'hunter instinct' thing. Odds are, she did too.

"Yeah. Weakest point on a non armored body for a lethal strike is behind the ear, base of the skull. It's designed for movement, not protection, and so the skin is soft, there's very little padding. Severing the jugular or carotid artery is messy. The bone protecting the spinal chord has a gap, meaning the brain stem is unprotected. A single puncture will instantly kill, and sufficient blunt trauma will paralyze, possibly permanently." She seemed impressed by my knowledge.

"How do you know that? You sound almost like a doctor."

'SHIT, She got me. Think fast.'

"I don't know how I know, I just know. It makes sense to me. Maybe I was a doctor or something before I lost my memory." Truth was, I was studying anatomy in school, hoping to get a job in the medical field. They didn't teach that though. I figured that out all on my own. So, technically it wasn't a lie. I don't really like lying, but at the same time, I'm not just gonna tell her I'm from another dimension. I have to stick with my story.

"You have to be the strangest thing I've ever seen. Griffin, pony, or other." She was getting genuinely interested in me, and was losing her sarcasm. She still wasn't calling me by my name. I guess it's awkward. It would be like me walking up to a guy and saying 'Hi Human'. If A guy's name was Hubert Mann, it would be really weird.

"Yep, I'm not just your ordinary rabble, I'm a grade A freak." We both laughed at that.

"Alright, let's cook this sucker, I'm starved."

I was reading 'The Ballad Of Echo The Diamond Dog' and thought. An HiE, but he doesn't get turned into a pony, he get's turned into something else. Hey, that's not a half bad idea! I'm totally gonna rip it off, and give it my own flavour. So seriously, it's one of the few fics I like, go check it out. Thank's for the inspiration, I hope you don't mind. So far, I actually like this fic. I'm not gonna update Ascended as fast as I updated Monster, because Ascended is a sequel, and I have to make sure I didn't do anything I already did. I'll alternate between it and Griffin the griffin, taking time off one to write the other when I get stuck.

Life In The Wild (3)

Life In The Wild

While I may not have ever hunted before, I have definitely dissected, and I've also flayed fish, so when it came to carving the deer, I knew pretty well what I was doing. My claws are wonderful, they're like the perfect little knives, and made short work of it. Gilda went about draining it, while I gathered some leafy stuff and flint for a fire. I used to go camping all the time, and I've been to Indian reserves several times, as well as to geologist sites on class trips, so I know my way around nature. While I never could get the 'rub two sticks together' thing to work, I can tell rocks apart, and I know flint when I see it. There was a load of gravel at the base of the mountain, which, thanks to Minecraft, I know tends to have flint in it. I guess all that gravel is what wore the mountain smooth. I found a pair of fairly large pieces. It helps when you have hands, or claws. I'd never be able to pull it off with hooves.

I found my way back to Gilda, who had a little camp set up, some broken logs to sit on. I tossed a bunch of twigs and dry leaves in a small clearing. We didn't want to catch anything on fire. Sliding the rocks against each other, sparks came off, and the brush caught fire nicely.

"How'd you know how to do that?" She asked me.

"Same way I know everything else. Although this makes me think I wasn't a doctor. Maybe I'm a traveler. It would explain what I was doing in some badlands." She just smiled.

'Okay, she's DEFINITELY coming on to me. Then again, I am pretty awesome since I got here, and in the show, I saw a very distinct lack of males around. Probably at least a 70% female majority. Oh shit, she's probably looking at me as a potential mate. Well, I was El Virgino on Earth, nothing says that has to stay the same here. Back there, I was a loser with a chip on his shoulder. Here, I'm actually pretty cool. I must be cool, since Gilda won't hang around people she thinks are lame.'

"What ya thinking about?" She asked. I had been staring off into space while the meat cooked.

"Trying to remember stuff, it's not working. Who knows, maybe it's better this way. I feel... happy? And it feels unfamiliar. I mean, I've been happy before, I know I must have at some point, but this feels like true happiness, if that makes sense. And if that's the case, maybe I'd rather not remember." It was a crock of bull. I knew EXACTLY what happened, I just didn't want to remember. Maybe I'd get lucky and actually forget my past life.

"Well, ya still did good today. You killed a deer, all on your own, carved it, started a fire, and cooked the thing. Looks like you can handle yourself. See ya." She got up and started to leave.

'Wait! Don't go! I don't want to be aloooooone.'

"And just where the hell do you think you're going?" Whew, smooth.

"You don't need me any more, so I'm leaving, you got a problem with that?" She looked annoyed. Yes I have a problem with that. I'm tired, and I don't want to be all on my own anymore. Okay, so, I suppose I could just head south and go to Ponyville and use my feathers for unlimited hugs, but I don't think that pays well, and I can't live off the generosity of others forever. I need to figure out what the hell I'm doing.

"You're damn right I do. You're going to sit your ass down and eat some of this."

"You caught it, it's not right for me to eat it, since you did all the work."

'She has a sense of honour after all, I guess either she wasn't really all that bad, or my endless wit and charm is starting to rub off on her. After only two days.'

"Consider it pay back for saving my hide, and teaching me to fly." I smirked, or, what I thought was a smirk, given I have a beak and no lips. Although I still have teeth, inside my mouth, past the beak. Part bird, part lion. I guess rather than splitting at the chest some things are mixed.

"Who ever said I was gonna help you with that?" She demanded.

"Well, you saw how well my first attempt went. Since I'm crazy enough to try that again, I'm gonna need someone around to make sure I don't splatter myself on some rocks. Which means that I still need you. Nope, you saved my life, and now you've gotta take care of me. Don't like it, too bad." I said with as much attitude as possible. She laughed, sat down, grabbed a chunk of meat, and started eating. I did the same.

'MEAT! Sweet and savory MEAT! It tastes soooooo much better when you kill, carve, clean, and cook it yourself. I'm glad I'm not a pony, or I'd have to be vegetarian. And that would suck. Who can live without steak? This venison was delicious.' Between the two of us we ate half of it. We decided that we would split the other half tomorrow. When she argued, I told her that since she spotted it, it was half hers, and if she wouldn't take it I'd knock her out and strap it to her back. She got the picture, laughing again. We fell asleep next to a smoldering fire, bellies full.

The next day, my flying lessons began. She walked in front of me like Rainbow Dash when she was coaching Fluttershy on her cheering. *yay* She was in full coach mode. I caught on pretty quickly. After the day was over, I was already flying, albeit rather poorly. By flying, I mean I could go up, down, forward, turn myself slowly, and land in a way that didn't involve my face hitting the ground. Having seen birds close up, I knew how they moved their wings, and practiced the motions, getting helpful hints from Gilda. Even though I had never used mine before, they were fairly muscular. Given some practice, I would be as good a flyer as she was.

The excitement of being able to fly however, was fantastic.

We ate half the remaining meat. Instead of stuffing ourselves, we saved the other half for tomorrow, and we split it evenly.

"Well, ya taught me to fly. I really can take care of myself now. Here's your share of the meat. Thanks for everything. I guess I can let ya off the hook."

"You know, I could stick around." She said nervously.

"What? Won't I be tying you down? I thought you wanted to be alone out in some forsaken waste filled with dragons that want to make you a snack." Sarcasm really is my strong point.

"If you want me to go, then I'll just go!" She actually seemed hurt.

"Hey, I never said that. I actually happen to enjoy your company, despite your personality." Nice save on my part.

"Well, what will you do?" She asked curiously.

"Well, considering my knowledge and skill set, I was probably a traveler. I guess I'll do that again. See the world with my own eyes. I mean, I've got nothing to tie me to this place."

"What, so you can end up half dead without your memories again?" She said sarcastically. We really are two sides of the same coin.

"That won't happen if I have a travel partner." I said, raising an eyebrow at her. She just smiled back, then scowled.

"I'm gonna end up saving your tail again, aren't I?"

"Yep."

A lot of Griffin's past is my own. I got bullied, but not to that degree. I've never been to an internet café, but I've been in one, I just went inside to see what it was like, but I was in a hurry and had to leave. As for the survival stuff, yeah, it's true. I really have been to Indian reserves, as well as geology sites. The rest is just common knowledge. It isn't? Oh, well, it is for someone with my interests. The bullies left me alone after I started giving them the Vulcan neck pinch, except it was a stab with two fingers. Much more effective. Some of the other stuff is actually from a guy I know from school, who got picked on even more than me, but again, nobody trying to kill him. It was elementary school, and the guys harassing HIM were teenagers. OMG, An OC X Gilda ship? Yes.

I'm A Badass? (4)

I'm A Badass?

We spent maybe a week in the area, doing some hunting and foraging, just to give me enough time to learn how to fly properly. Flying was awesome. Hard, but awesome. Other than my wings getting tired from constantly hoisting up my now 600 pound body, there were thermals, updrafts, air pockets, head wind, tailwind, and all sorts of other things to worry about. Those would come with practice, but for the mean time, I was off the ground at least.

I used to be afraid of heights, mostly because I didn't trust people not to push me off. When I was a kid, still learning how to swim, I was standing on a diving board, and got pushed off when the instructer wasn't looking. I almost drowned. Instead of becoming afraid of water, I became afraid of heights. Go figure.

Anyway, since I could now fly, that wasn't a problem anymore. I'm not Fluttershy. And since my vision is about 500 times better than before, if I wanted, the ground would look really close. It did give me a sense of disorientation, but I got used to it. We decided to go back to the badlands, to the spot I appeared at. We met there, so it was a good a place as any to get started on the journey, wherever we decided to go.

"So, tell me more about the regions." I knew a bit about Equestria from the show, but nothing about the rest of it.

"Well, there's Equestria, which is in the middle. It's filled with a bunch of lame ponies. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna live in the Capitol, built on the mountain in the center. Celestia rasies the sun, Luna raises the moon, and that's what gives us our day/night cycle." She started. That much I already knew.

"Then we have the Griffin Dominion. We live in cave systems built in mountains, since there's a bit of worry about wild beasts. Nothing's worse than waking up to find yourself eaten by a manticore. They don't like fire though. We're pretty low tech compared to the other area's. Normally we don't even have fire, no education, we're kind of lacking in survival skills other than 'hunt, kill, eat, run away', which is why I was surprised to see what you did with the flint. Sucks having to eat food raw." She explained.

'Really? They didn't even have fire most of the time? What the hell kind of dump is that? Geez. I could advance that country to the freaking industrial age in under a year. Then again, that would throw off the balance of power, and if griffins are anything like I think they are, that'd start a war.

"We have to trade what little we have with the Diamond Dogs to the west. We have them dig out the mountains for us to live in, but they get to keep all the gems. Otherwise, we don't have homes. It's a pretty raw deal, but we don't really have a choice." Gilda seemed sad. No wonder griffins are grumpy, they live in a third world country!

"So, you have to hunt for food, which is scarce, and there aren't many plants since you live in mountain areas. You have to trade all your valuables to the Diamond Dogs just to have places to live, and you don't even have fire? What the hell. I may not have my memory, but I know damn well that's wrong. Wherever I'm from, whatever I did, I did NOT live like that."

"Yeah, well what can we do about it. Lots of us are in Gem Fido, trapped underground, working as slaves for the dogs. No sky's to fly in, just dank, musty air for the rest of their lives, pulling heavy carts." Gilda was almost crying, but she put on a brave face. There's something she's hiding.

"So wait, you trade with them, but they also take you as slaves?" It didn't make any sense to me.

"Yeah, sometimes griffins travel there to sell what they have. When you do, you have to bring all their own food and drink, or else the dogs will drug it, and you'll wake up in chains. Avoid back alleys, they like to string nets up and drop them on you." She was really upset.

"Seems like you know a lot about it." I said sympathetically.

"It's nothing you need to worry about." She got defensive, so I just dropped the topic.

"So, what about the other areas?"

"Well, there's the Feline Jungle. It's got all sorts of weird things there. It's where the Daring Do book series takes place. Oh, I forget, you don't know about that. Then there's the Volcanic Wastes. They are exactly like they sound. Nothing can live there for long since the air is pretty toxic high up, and half the ground is lava. It's a haven for criminals and other's who would rather not be found, like runaway slaves." She tensed up at the word slave.

'Wow I'm an idiot, either she or a family member is or was a slave for the dogs. Makes sense that they try that, I mean, I've seen them kidnap Rarity, and try to enslave the rest when they went to rescue her.'

"Then there's the Black Marsh. It's a fetid swamp filled with Hydra's, toxic gas, and all sorts of other nasty things. No civilization there. Finally, the Ring Sea, it's named that because it's like a ring on a finger. Equestria is the jewel on that ring. It's a bloody utopia. The princesses take care of their little ponies, and leave the rest of the world to it's fate.They have overwhelming power, but they do nothing to help the other races."

What she described was actually similar to earth. Nations with natural wealth, beauty, resources, all living in happiness, while the rest of the world starved and suffered from disease. Unfortunately, that was because the leaders of the suffering countries kept wasting the help they were getting.

"So, the princesses rule Equestria, who rules the Dominion, the dragon lands, and Gem Fido?" I asked.

"Nobody. Dragons are solitary, and often fight amongst themselves over land. The land got scorched, and pretty soon all the plants and animals died, so now they come hunting in Gem Fido for gems to eat. And the Dominion for griffins. The dogs live in packs, each ruled by an alpha. They sometimes have skirmishes over land too, but they mostly get along with each other. They tend to pay off dragons with gems to avoid being eaten themselves, and in return dragons will sometimes level mountains for them, or tear up huge chunks of earth so they can keep digging. Since the dogs eat gems too, they often times will fight dragons off. They learned to make weapons capable of hurting dragons, and have the range to hit them when they fly. We don't stand a chance against their hunting parties, and they often come here to capture slaves. Yet another reason we live in the mountains, out of reach. We need to fly them up there so they can work."

'Geez, life freaking sucks for these griffins, it's as bad as Africa, and has probably an equivalent amount of precious stones. (In case you didn't know, a lot of diamonds come from Africa)

"As for us griffins, we used to have a government, about 900 years ago. When Nightmare Moon popped up, wanting to take over the world, she promised us freedom from our plight, and prosperity if we helped her. We agreed. Who wouldn't under the circumstances? Then she got sent to the moon, and Celestia took our government apart for siding with her. We lost all semblance of organization, and wound up worse off than before. Now, there's actually only about 7000 of us left. All living separately. We're still called the Dominion, because we hope that one day we'll be able to rise up, fulfilling the dream of our ancestors of living a happy life, even though it will never happen."

Gilda had it rough. All griffins did. Maybe that's why she had a bad attitude. Yet she was still full of pride. A bunch of people living all on their own isn't a country. They have no government. Nobody to look to. They were an abandoned people.

"Why not just move to Equestria?" I asked a stupid question.

"Well, for starters, they don't take kindly to meat eaters there, even if we're omnivores. Lots of the things we eat here have rights there. Doesn't work to well if you try to eat a cow and the police show up. Especially since they're the only ones that have magic. Over here, cows, deer, donkeys, they're not sentient, they're just animals. It's different in Equestria. That land has magic running through it. All the Equestrians living on it became smart, and got wings or horns, or whatever nature thing the earth ponies have. The animals living outside of it are mundane. They wouldn't take kindly to a bunch of us showing up all of a sudden, still stuck in our ways, needing to feed us. We'd be a burden to society, and just another headache to the royalty. We've still got our pride! We won't let ourselves simply become someone else's problem."

Gilda said that last part with a fire in her heart. She had explained quite a bit. So basically Equestria was a kind of 'garden of eden', and while anyone could live there, you had to live by their rules, which basically meant giving up everything. Your lifestyle, your heritage, and any family members who didn't come with you.

"Well, we're here. This is where I found you." She pointed to a spot on the ground. We flew down to take a closer look. Checking around the area, I found nothing of importance. Looking around the rest of the landscape, I saw nothing. Just dead trees and scorched earth.

"Well, as much as I love the scenery, there's nothing of interest here, we might as well head back. After we eat of course. If we're lucky, we'll be back after nightfall, and we can find some animal asleep somewhere." I told Gilda.

"Heh, maybe you're not such an idiot after all." She laughed as she started to eat.

"By the way, since calling me Griffin is too awkward, just call me Grif, or dumbass, whichever works for you." She laughed, and almost choked. When I looked behind her, I almost choked, and I hadn't even eaten anything. I saw a massive black silhouette. A shadow, of a dragon.

"SHIT! Gilda, we're leaving, NOW!" I yelled. Gilda looked up at the sky, and froze in fear. I had to buck her to get her to snap out of it. (Soft paw pads are much less painful than claws or hooves) We took off into the sky. The shadow was chasing us. And it was gaining.

"Damn it, it's going to catch us. Into the clouds!" She yelled. I followed her, and so did the dragon. Once we were above the clouds, a stream of fire came pouring through them. This was not a friendly dragon like Spike, nor a tired dragon like in Dragonshy, this was a hungry dragon, and he was all out of gems.

"We can't keep avoiding him like this! Drop to the ground. He'll have a harder time maneuvering down there!" I yelled. Gilda nodded in agreement. We both flew close to the surface, with the dragon right behind us. This dragon was black, with red skin on it's wings. We kept avoiding the bursts of flame that it sent our way, until one finally caught Gilda. She had first degree burns, nothing too serious, given time to recover. Unfortunately smokey wasn't going to give her that time. She fell to the ground, shrieking in pain, and couldn't move. She watched as the dragon came close. He ignored me, having caught his meal. He was going to kill the first friend I had in years, even if she was a bit bitchy. As a repressed person, who bottles up rage and saves it for later, this put me over the breaking point.

'Okay, boss battle time. Gilda can't move, and I'm not strong enough a flyer to escape this guy, even without carrying her. Even If I abandon her, It'll just come after me next, and besides, letting him kill my only friend in this world is gonna ruin my social life. I don't WANT to be alone anymore. I'm gonna have to kill it. It's 100 times my size, breathes fire, and has armored scales that are fireproof and can deflect blows. The scales are also sharp, and rubbing against them the wrong way would be like a cheese grater. Wait, sharpened scales, I remember in episode two, that the scales can be plucked easily, and they're not sharp if you hold onto the base. Best way to kill something is with the teeth and bones of it's own. But how? I can't go for the neck, because that's armored as well, and moves around too much. Underbelly? No, still too thick. Wings aren't a kill shot. That only leaves, *Gulp* inside the dragon. I'll have to fly down his throat, but he'll roast me! Aha! Scales deflect flame. Okay, got the plan, now I hope I can pull it off. And if I do, I'm a freaking lunatic. What do I have to lose? If I fail, I die anyway, and being eaten alive is probably less painful than burning.'

It took me all of 6 seconds to think all of that. I flew up, and using my claws, yanked a scale off of him. He howled in pain, I guess it's like having hair pulled. As I pulled the scale out using my claws, it sliced my palms, causing them to bleed, eliciting a shriek from me. It hurt worse than a paper cut in between the fingers, but I had completed step one. The adrenaline and anger kept me from responding to the pain too badly.

The dragon noticed me, having painfully removed one of it's scales, and forgot about Gilda for the moment. It decided it'd kill me first, since she wasn't going anywhere. It breathed fire at me, which I blocked with the scale, using it as a shield. This also caused my claws to become slightly charred. It FUCKING HURT. Hands are super sensitive, and despite the fact that they were claws or talons or whatever didn't lessen it at all.

'I have to swing something heavy with hands that are burnt and sliced. How do I get myself into these situations?'

When the flame had cleared, I flew straight at the dragon. Gilda screamed something along the lines of 'Run you moron, you can't fight a dragon!' To which I responded.

"Watch me." Did I mention I have somewhat random tendencies that defy all logic? Like when I jumped down a mountain, unsure of whether I could fly, all the while being afraid of heights? Sometimes I just don't think normally. This was one of those times.

I could see tears in Gilda's eyes as I flew into the dragon's mouth, which he snapped shut. The cocky bastard was going to swallow me whole. As I moved down it's throat, still holding the scale, I jabbed it into it's neck, driving it through the esophagus, and fully into the wind pipe. Blood spurted everywhere, soaking me. The scale had blocked off the dragon's air flow. He took a deep breath, which brought the scale loose, sending it into his lungs. The sharp edges would carve up all the delicate tissues inside. This clearly wasn't the most intelligent dragon. Also lucky for me, being in the esophagus, when the dragon exhaled, the fire didn't get me. It began thrashing around uncontrollably. I was still being sprayed with blood, which I found actually tasted kind of sour. I guess dragons have a different taste to them. It stopped thrashing and fell over, dead.

After determining which way was out, I crawled out of the dead dragon's mouth, covered in blood, and I couldn't have been happier. I'm a dragon slayer. I half expected it to catch fire, and me absorb it's soul. I've been playing too much Skyrim. Gilda was looking at me strangely. I flew on top of the dragon, standing on it's body, and let out the ultimate sound of victory.

"WRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I had always wanted to do that. While I may not be Dio Brando, you have to admit, it was pretty badass. Gilda looked like her brain had melted. I walked over to her, she had seemingly forgotten her pain.

"What's the matter? Never seen someone kill a dragon?" I acted like it was a common occurrence.

'What the FUCK did I just do. Haha, nope. That didn't just happen. Nope nope nope.'

"You magnificent, stupid, beautiful, DUMBASS!" She was throwing compliments in with her insults.

'Shut up and kiss me.'

"I thought you were dead! What the hell were you thinking!" She screamed.

'What WAS I thinking?'

"I guess when I saw you get hurt, I just went a little crazy." I said casually, licking the sour blood off myself.

"Why does dragon blood taste like lemon juice?" I asked to no one in particular. I tend to appear calm and ask stupid questions when I'm scared out of my mind. Helps overcome the mind numbing stupidity, and prevent's deer in headlight's syndrome. That, and acting sarcastically. Oh wait, I do that all the time.

"Can you move?" Another stupid question, she clearly couldn't.

"Yeah, I think I c... gaaaah!" She said, trying to put weight on her burnt back limbs.

"No, you can't. Let me help you."

"I SAID I'M FINE!" She yelled.

"Well, I suppose I can just leave you here then." Of course I never would. I'm an asshole, not heartless.

"Okay, fine. But you never EVER tell anyone about this." I picked her up, and slowly flew her to the place she had carried me to, up the mountain. I went down to the small forest we can killed the deer in, found some aloe plants, crushed em up, and made a salve. I'm no Zecora, but this would definitely help with the burns. It stung her a little as I applied it, but she felt better afterwards.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" She said confused.

"If I hadn't brought you out there, this wouldn't have happened."

"Shut up. I went there all on my own. I didn't HAVE to go there. I could have said no."

"Yup, I guess it really is all your fault then. Enjoy being off your feet for the next three days while that heals, I'm gonna go get us some dinner."

Breakdown (5)

Breakdown

"Oh Shit. What the hell! Son of a bitch!" Gilda watched as I paced around the cave, spouting random curses.

"I could have DIED! What the hell was I thinking? Purposefully getting eaten?" Pretty much, as soon as the fear, shock, and adrenaline wore off after we had gotten to safety and Gilda was recovering, and I had caught dinner, my mind finally took the time to process what I just did and wound up just like her's when she saw me do it. It broke.

"Hey Dumbass! Quit freaking out! It's over!" Gilda yelled, trying to snap me out of it.

"I just killed a full grown, hungry, angry, DRAGON!"

"Yeah, you did, and you saved both our lives. GET OVER IT!" Still trying to get me to think straight.

"I have to go back."

"What?" Gilda asked confused, tilting her head to the side.

"I have to see it again, with my own eyes. I have to know for sure. I have to make sure I'm not crazy." After killing a dragon, I want to go back to the spot where I almost died? I definitely am crazy.

"Then go. Go look at what you did, and then get your tail back here before you die again." She probably just wanted me to leave for a bit, my ranting must have been driving her crazy.

I left the cave after making sure she was settled in, and flew back to the spot. It was much faster. Partly because I didn't have the extra weight, and partly because I was getting better at flying. I flew over head, and I spotted it. Flying down, I examined my handiwork more closely.

It's blood had poured out onto the ground, and it's body looked a little deflated, due to being empty of fluids. It stank, but not the stench of rot. It smelled sour, and the smell was overwhelming. I held my claw over my beak and inspected to body more closely. I began to laugh, the crazy sort of laugh that makes people near you scared.

"Heh,heh, heh, ha,ha! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" It was exhilarating, standing in front of that massive corpse, knowing I had killed it. I thought that this is what Shadow of the Colossus must feel like. A creature that can crush you like a bug, but you still fight it, and using nothing but your wit and determination, fell the beast. Then you come out of it drenched in blood with a wicked grin on your face. Suddenly, I felt like I was being watched. Again, from having to run, fight, and hide on my world, I knew when I was being followed, when someone was trying to hide from me.

"Who's there?!" I demanded. I heard a noise, and instantly jumped to the left. First rule of engagement, if you can't see your enemy, MOVE. They're going to be aiming for you, but if you don't stop moving, and move in unpredictable ways, they'll miss you most of the time. A net, with heavy metal balls on the end landed where I had stood not a moment ago. I ran to the dragon's body and crouched next to it for momentary cover. I found the spot that I had pulled a scale from, and drew another of the razor sharp ovals. This time, since the base was exposed, I didn't injure my claws which had already been wrapped. It was much easier to hold when when my hands weren't in searing pain.

"Show yourselves!" Judging by the noise, there were more than one.

'Wait, more than one, means a group, using tech like a net launcher, trying to kidnap me, a griffin.'

*Loading*

*Done*

"Come out you mutts! You'll make a fine rug for my cave!" The Diamond Dogs knew they had been found, and went on the attack. Another net flew, but was easily sliced in half by the scale I now held in my beak. It was heavy, and so I held it with my mouth, but used my arms to support it as I waved it around. They couldn't see my face properly, if they could, they would have seen my evil smile, a smile that screamed confidence and malice, and would never have attacked.

There were only five, two with net launchers, now spent, drawing some poorly crafted swords. They looked like sharpened pieces of rock. Two with makeshift spears, and one with some kind of glass vials strapped to him.

'Chems huh. Either poison or explosives. When the glass hits the ground, it shatters, and the contents mix with the air. He's obviously the leader. He probably has some of each. Knockout gas for capture, and explosives for dealing with 'bigger' problems. They probably net their target, then knock em out, and haul em off. Too bad they're a little far from home, and I'm no ordinary griffin.'

The four dogs charged, and I easily dodged them. Back home, the punks had no skill or training with their knives, and were usually high off their asses. I could easily deal with them. These guys had even less skill, just swinging wildly. Looks like someone is a graduate of the Stormtrooper academy.

When they saw that I didn't run, they started looking confused, but continued nevertheless. The first one was decapitated by my scale sword in an instant, since he basically ran into the damn thing. He didn't even let out a whimper. The second looked in horror as I drove my claws into his eyes. Dropping his pathetic spear, the dog clutched his eyes. The two who had dropped their net launchers looked at me with fear in their eyes as I cut off the second spear dog's head. I let the scale fall down, stabbing into the ground to act as a shield while I caught my breath.

"What are you waiting for! Go get him! He is a male, and he is strong. He will haul many gems, and we can breed more slaves!" Said the leader with a whiny voice.

'I just killed two of them with ease, while standing in front of the corpse of a dragon, and they want to catch me to be used for breeding? I guess males really are rare in the pony and griffin species, while there actually seems to be an abundance of them in the dog population. I wonder why?'

I cracked my neck, and rolled all my joints. The dogs with their sensitive ears heard the cracking, and flattened their ears to their heads. Did EVERYONE have a problem with joint cracking or something? The other two dogs charged, distracted by the sickening sound of my bones rolling around, and using my claws, I struck the nerves in the shoulder of their sword arms. Except my claws are like knives, and went right in, paralyzing their arms and making them howl in pain as they dropped their stone blades. I slit their throats and licked the blood off my claws. This was just too easy. The leader began to run, having his entire squad wiped out.

"It was supposed to be easy! It's just a griffin! We've caught plenty of them! How did this happen?" The leader whined as it ran into the forest. He was fast, I was faster. I left the scale there for a moment to chase him. I pounced on him, knocking him onto his chest. His vials shattered, and he looked at the puddle of mixing chemicals with terror.

"I killed a dragon, what made you think you'd stand a chance?" I laughed as the various substances began to mix in a sickening green and red. His eyes went wide when he realized that I was what killed it, not just some random incident. The dog began to stutter, and I flew away, uncaring. Once I cleared the tree tops, I heard a small boom, and looked down to see charred remains.

I went back to the dragon and took some of it's teeth. After taking the scales off it's arm, I took the meat off and stored it, then took several of the smaller bones from the wrist.

'I wonder how dragon meat tastes? That is if I can even cook it.'

I flew to a small river, and washed myself off. The water was frigid, seeing as how it was from melted snow on the mountain tops. Still, it felt fantastic to be clean, and the water was pure and pristine. Taking a good look at myself in the water's reflection, it started to sink in. This was real. This was my new life.

I decided to keep my scale with me, as a keepsake and tool. Using some strips of clothing from the dead dogs, I made a strap to carry it on my back. I also took the gems off the dogs. Eventually, I would probably need money, and these would fetch a nice price. Besides, gems are useful. I flew back to Gilda's resting spot.

"Well, I'm back, and I'm not crazy anymore. I got to have a bit of fun with some dogs, and got myself some nice swag."

At the mention of 'dogs' Gilda's eyes went wide.

"You moron, first you kill a dragon by flying down it's throat, then some diamond dogs? They capture griffins. They enslave griffins."

"Yeah, well, after the dragon, the five of them didn't really have a chance. Two are missing their heads, two don't have any blood left, and the last one is a pile of ash and charred bone. Got some nice stuff though."

It's funny. I wanted to go to Equestria to escape the violence and pain of my life, but now that I was here, it was kind of like an inhibitor had been removed. I killed stuff, and I liked doing it. I just killed five Diamond Dogs, that probably had families waiting for them. I didn't care. They attack me, so I killed them. What the hell? Shouldn't I feel guilty? I suppose I do a little, if they did have families then they might hate me and try to hunt me down, but that's not my fault. They were slavers, and they were bad at it, so they died. Out here, there were no laws, nothing to bind. It was anarchy, but it was also freedom. I didn't have the oppressive authority, constantly keeping me down unfairly. If I got attacked, I could fight back, without worry of consequence. I could live freely. There were no licenses, no taxes, no paperwork. If I wanted food, instead of having to try for a job, and not get hired, or get a hunting permit, I could just do it. No border patrol, because the only actual 'nation' was Equestria. We could go anywhere we wanted, nobody to tell us what to do.

Gilda looked strangely at me, as I began using a particularly large diamond to make a hole in the flat of the dragon scale, near the base. Once the hole was all the way through, I took the dragon wrist bone, and jammed it into the relatively soft scale base. Then using pieces of cloth, I wrapped the bone, fed the cloth through the hole several times, then wrapped the bone again. After repeating this process, I had given the scale a handle. The scale's base was the hilt, and the scale itself, the blade. It looked like a fan, except it was razor sharp. It was kind of like a cross between a sword and an ax. Made of dragon scale, which is extremely durable due to the minerals from the gems they eat being used to form them, it was the equivalent of a diamond battle fan. I admired my craftsmanship. It was crap. The blade was wobbly, and I had to tighten the straps several times just to keep it from falling apart. I'll probably have to replace the cloth several times as well, as they'll wear out as it's used. Still, not bad for someone with no skill whatsoever.

"Has the range and stabbing capability of a sword, the weight and curvature of an ax, and the area of a shield, plus the leverage of a pole arm. It's almost the length of my body, and much lighter than if it were made of comparable metal. Dragonscale Greatsword. I think I like it."

Once again, video games have made my life easier. This specific bit came from Monster Hunter. Examining the black edge of the blade, I noticed that even though it had sliced through a net with ease, as well as the neck bones of two man sized dogs, it didn't have a scratch on it. The only downside is that given it's size, I wouldn't be able to swing it in close quarters, on enclosed areas. It had to have room. The thing is, I also had my claws, sharp as knives, to be used in those situations, meaning I now had covered short, medium, and long melee range, plus defense.

Gilda was just looking at me in amazement.

"What the hell are you? I can't decide whether you're an idiot or a genius, brilliant or mad. You show up out of nowhere in the badlands, no memory. You know how to make fire just using rocks, we normally have to venture into the badlands and fire something already burning and bring it back. You expertly kill a deer, then a dragon, then 5 diamond dogs, which are trained to catch griffins like us, then you make an amazing weapon out of the remains. You knew how to make a salve to deal with burns. What ARE you? There is no way that after all that, you don't remember anything. Don't lie to me."

'CRAP, she got me. There's no getting out of it this time. If I don't come clean, this isn't going to work out. SHIT! I didn't want to do this.'

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me." She said. Right, she's just as stubborn as I am, of course she wouldn't give up.

"Okay, the whole amnesia thing? Complete lies. I remember everything about my past, I just want to forget it. As for what I am? I'm a geek, a nerd, a LOSER. I know things that are completely useless where I come from. Survival training isn't needed there, because there is no need to survive, it's taken care of. The problem is, by no longer needing to survive, we've forgotten how to live."

"But that doesn't explain the way you move, or when you first got here. You were stumbling over yourself, didn't know how to fly." She reasoned.

"That's because I'm not a griffin. A griffin who's name is Griffin? That's just stupid, although my parents really are dumb enough to think that one up. I'm a human. I'm a bipedal creature, much like a diamond dog, except no tail, no fur, no claws, and not stupid. We don't live underground, we live in buildings the stretch to the sky, in a world of grey stone."

She looked dumbfounded. Her mouth was agape, and she wanted further explanation, but she couldn't say anything.

"Don't bother looking for humans here, because they don't exist. I was sitting in a café, a place where you go to buy coffee, and a guy came up to me and asked if I'd like to go to another world. Rather than telling him to take a hike, I told him why not, because my world sucks. He sent me here. When I woke up, I had a new body, and was looking at you."

"Your life couldn't have been that bad, compared to here." She tried to reason.

"Oh? Have you ever had your head stuck in a toilet, right after it was used? As I told you before, I was a loser. That meant I got picked on."

"Then why didn't you fight back?" She didn't understand my world.

"Because those with authority favour some over others. My tormentors had friends in high places, I did not. Think of it like being whipped every day by a pony, but you can't turn around and fight back, because Celestia is watching the whole thing and letting it happen. There is no freedom. There is no justice. The rule of the strong survive has gone out the window. Those with influence move up, and those without move down. Any without who try to move up get kicked down even farther. Here, I CAN fight back. Back there, it wasn't even an option." I had tears in my eyes, from remembering. I hadn't cried in years, but finally telling someone had been too much."

"How do you know so much?" Was her next question.

"Because my people don't have fangs or claws. In order to survive, we had to make some of our own. We couldn't kill, so we made blades. When blades couldn't reach far enough, we made guns. Think of cannon's that are small enough to hold, and don't need to be reloaded between each shot. We couldn't fly, so we built planes. They are kind of like flying carts, and can move faster than sound. Carts were too heavy to move, since we are weak, so we made them like trains, to move on their own. We easily got sick, so we made medicine, we were easily hurt, so we learned anatomy, in order to better repair damage, and to prevent it in the first place, we made armor. We learned about metals, gems, everything! If anything existed, we would find everything out about it, come up with 20 original uses, and limitless ways to use it with other things we already had. We're far, far more advanced than Equestria, and we don't even have magic, although a lot of what we do seems like it."

Gilda just sat in awe. The advancement my people made was ridiculous. Unheard of here.

"We perfected the art of killing. Right now, the nation I lived in has the ability to obliterate the entire planet. I mean literally scour the surface of all life, and we're not even the violent ones. If someone put their mind to it, they could blow a good chunk of it out into space. Speaking of space, we've already landed on the moon, and are building a colony there. We are so far ahead, and at the same time, so far behind. We've forgotten what it's like to fight for our lives. That is why this place is paradise to me. I truly feel alive! When I went back to the dragon, I never felt better. I did something that could only happen in dreams, and that's why I had to make sure it was real."

She finally understood. I didn't cry, I fought back the tears.

"So, the reason you let me call you dumbass, the reason you snap when you get mad, and kill everything, the reason you can move, think, and everything that fast..."

"Is because I'm used to it. When you're being hunted by those who want to hurt you, you learn to hide. When you're being chased after they found you, you learn to run. When you've been caught by them, you learn to fight. When you beat them, and they call you names, it doesn't hurt anymore. I learned everything I could about staying alive, because, one day, I intended to go to one of the few untamed places left on my world, and live like I'm living now. I knew exactly how to kill that dragon, because I've run the simulation a hundred times in my head. Dragons don't even exist in my world. I have 60 different plans for surviving a zombie attack, even though zombies aren't real. Then again, neither are diamond dogs, griffins, magic, or talking ponies, yet here I am."

"This whole time, all of this, is like a dream to you? You like this? Nearly dying, having to fight for your life, facing enslavement by diamond dogs, killing." She didn't know what to say.

"They come for my blood, but drown in their own. As I wade through the river of those who have fallen before me, I laugh, even as I am struck down, because I had fun. I know that one day, my body or wit will fail me. Someone stronger, faster, or smarter will come along, and they will best me. It's all about climbing to the top, then staying there as long as you can, having fun along the way. That is why I want to travel. I want to see it all, and sit on top of the world, even if just for a moment. I might get called a hero, I might get called a tyrant, I might get called a dumbass, but at least I did something worthwhile. Back home, there ISN'T anything worthwhile to do, so we die of boredom. Don't tell me that when you're chasing a deer, you don't feel excitement. Don't tell me that when you catch it and kill it, you don't feel proud. Don't tell me that when when you eat the spoils of the hunt, it doesn't taste far better than when it is simply given to you. That is what being alive is about. Doing something with the time you have."

"You thought about this a lot, haven't you?" Gilda asked.

"When there is nothing else to do, all we can do is think. Sometimes, I think we think too much."

Okay, I went a little poetic in this, a little philisophical, and a tiny bit earth sucks, but this IS from the POV of a teenager who hates EVERYTHING. What do you expect?

On The Road Again (6)

On The Road Again

"So, you're not even a griffin, but some alien?" Gilda was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that I wasn't even from her universe. Don't blame her, I just dropped the human bomb on her. Still haven't told her about the fandom yet, I think I'll let that sit for now.

"Yes and no. I am an alien, and I wasn't a griffin, but I am one now. I told the guy I didn't care what happened to me, what I looked like, as long as I wasn't something lame like a dog or a cow. Apparently, he had a sense of ironic humor, and made me into Griffin the griffin. As far as I can tell, I'm entirely griffin now, nothing left of what I was but my memories."

"So, what else about these 'humans'?" She asked.

"Well, we eat pretty much the same stuff griffins eat. Fruit's, veggies, grains, although no hay, flowers, or grass, and meat, but it has to be cooked. Think of a human like a really tall monkey, with no tail, and the only fur it has is on the top of it's head. Less suited to agility and strength, and more suited to stealth and cunning. One of the favorite human pass times is problem solving. Puzzles, riddles, whatever makes us think. The other favorite human pass time is treating others like dirt. There's just something satisfying about dominating someone, making them feel worthless, watching them cry. I normally keep to myself, but bullies liked to pick on me. They stopped though, well, mostly, after I started doing it back, and found that I was much better at it than they were. So, they started coming in groups, and then they got authority on their side and I couldn't fight back unless I felt like getting in deep shit.

"You know, I know a certain purple unicorn who would just looooove to meet you." Gilda said. Time for me to have some fun with her.

"Let me guess, she's an egghead who loves books so much her house could be a library, and she'd murder me with questions about my world." I knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Don't do that, it's just freaky." She said wide eyed.

"Well, I AM a freak." Foreknowledge for the win.

After a couple days, Gilda's minor burns were fully healed, and we were ready to set out. We spread the map in front of us, and looked for a place to go.

"Well, from what you've told me, Gem Fido is a death trap. I'm not looking forward to going to dragon country any time soon, and Black Marsh sounds terrible. That leaves exploring the rest of the Dominion, the jungle, volcano land, and Equestria. Equestria seems nice enough, but we'll have to go vegan while there, I don't feel like getting thrown in a jail for eating one of the citizens, and since I looted these gems, we'll have plenty of cash while we're there, so we can get by. Volcanic wastes are full of criminals, who are probably disturbingly like me, and I've had enough dirty air in my world for a life time. I come from a pretty cold climate, so I'm not a fan of the heat. Then there's the jungle. Lawless, some adventure, a bit of a fight, but not as much as a dragon. Maybe pull an Indiana Jones and grab some loot from an ancient temple or something."

"Indiana Jones?" Gilda didn't get the reference.

"Only one of my world's biggest badasses. Raids ancient temples for priceless relics, which he sells to a museum for big money. From what you told me about Daring Do, he's pretty much the human version of her, and from what you've told me of the jungle, it's going to be like the jungles of South America. Too bad just like Daring, he's just fiction."

"Daring Do's not fiction, those books are based on her adventures. Sure there's a little creative changes, but it's all real. She's actually there right now." Gilda said. I was taken aback.

'Right, of course she's real. Duh. Just because things like that don't happen in my world doesn't mean they don't happen here. Just like dragon slaying doesn't happen in the real world.'

"Well, sounds good enough to me! Although, unless we feel like flying over the ring sea, we'll still have to go through Equestria. Maybe we stick to the shore. I've been to the beach enough times to know how to survive there too."

Gilda agreed, and the two of us took off, carrying our stuff in some backpacks I lifted from the diamond dogs. She insisted on carrying our stuff, because I had been feeding her for about the past week, and I had my great sword to carry. Besides, she was the better flyer, and the stuff we had wasn't that heavy. We found the shore pretty quickly, and started heading west. It was getting late, so we settled down for the night. We didn't have to worry about being hunted that much, since most things didn't go near the shore, preferring to stick to the cover of the forest or mountains. Still, we weren't going to take any chances, and I offered to take first watch. When my watch was over, I woke Gilda for hers.

"Hey, your turn. Something happens, get me up, k?"

Night was uneventful, and we both got up early.

"Hey Grif, I was wondering about something. On my watch, I found a hole with a bunch of rocks in it, filled with water. It definitely wasn't natural." Gilda told me.

"Ah so you found it. Watch was pretty boring, so I decided to get some food for today."

"We can't eat rocks moron." She said.

"No, but we can eat clams."

"Clams?"

Seriously? She didn't know about clams? Then again, griffins lived in the mountains. They probably don't go to the shore that often. Diamond dogs eat gems, and ponies don't eat meat. Whatever lives in the jungle probably stays away from the shore, so not knowing about them is completely reasonable.

"They look like rocks, but they're actually a kind of shellfish. They bury themselves in the sand in the area between high and low tide. Ya just dig your feet into the sand, and if you feel something hard, pull it up. If it's flat, it's a sand dollar, and you throw it away, or make jewelry or whatever, if it's round and oval, it's a clam. You put them in a hole or a bucket full of water, and leave them over night. They spit out all the sand inside em, and then you crack em open, like this..." I put my claw along the line, and split the muscle in two.

"Then ya eat em. You can eat them raw or cooked. You can put them in a stew, or place them on hot coals, and eat them straight. As long as we're by the shore, we'll find plenty, and since, by your reaction, they're not widely known, there's no chance of over fishing them. They're only found in salt water though, so we won't find them by rivers. As long as we stick to the sea, we'll never starve." I said, sucking down the clam meat. Sure, it was chewy, but that was half the fun. Think of it like fish and salt flavoured gum, except a little tougher, and you can swallow it.

Gilda cracked one of her own open, and choked it down.

"Gah!"

"Trust me, in a few days, you'll get used to it. Once we get to Equestria, we'll buy a pot and some buckets. Then we can cook them, and clean them out in fresh water. That'll be a lot better than raw, and from a salt water hole." I laughed. She laughed weakly. She didn't buy it. Still, it was better than starving, and she'd get used to it eventually. We ate the clams, (what, you expect us to carry them? Those things are freaking heavy!) and then headed out. At the end of the day, we were a day away from the Equestrian border. Eating some rabbit meat we saved, (sorry Fluttershy) and some berries we had found, we settled in for the night.

"Hey, Gilda, get up." I whispered.

"What? It's way too early for my watch." She was annoyed at having to wake.

"We've got company. 4, If they think they can sneak up on us at night they're wrong. Can't tell what they are yet though, I just saw the flash of their eyes." She was awake now. We were far from dog country, but we were just as far when I ran into that hunting party before. We were close to Equestria, but why would ponies come to the Dominion? Still, we had to figure out what they were before taking any action. Since we were heading to Equestria next, being wanted for murder would not be a good start.

Gilda took to the air, while I hid behind a small sand dune. Our eyes were much better than theirs, be they ponies, dogs, or whatever. They came out of cover, and I could see that they were on all fours. Moving at that pace, dogs were normally upright. They were chatting, making a lot of noise. Judging from that, they weren't here for us. They probably didn't even know we were here. I motioned to Gilda, who flew down, and we approached the group cautiously. Gilda didn't like ponies very much, so we decided I better do all the talking.

"Heya, what's happenin!?" Gilda was surprised at how I changed my tone. I whispered that I didn't want to come off as someone like me, since I'm not the nicest person, and would rather see if they were useful, hostile, whatever, before I screwed things up. The four ponies looked at me and laughed. One of them tripped on it's own feet and fell.

"Geez, their freaking drunk of their asses. No wonder they're all the way out here, and at night. Must'ave been one hell of a party for them to wander all the way here."

"Wanna throw em in the ocean to sober em up?" Gilda asked.

"Nah, they're so drunk they'll probably drown. Let's just leave em there. They'll snap out of it eventually."

"Come on, it'll be funny." She said with pleading eyes.

"True, but still, no. If anything, we should wait for them to pass out. Then you lay down next to that guy, and when he wakes up, say, 'Hey handsome' and watch as he pisses himself." My idea was met with a light tap to the skull. We both started laughing like we were the drunk ones.

"Hey dude, what ya doing in a net?" One of the ponies asked his friend.

'A net? Why is there a net?'

*Loading*

*Done*

"Hey Gilda, looks like some mutts are crashing their party."

"So?"

"I'm letting you call this one."

"What?" She didn't get it.

"Well, we can let those dogs drag the ponies away to be slaves for the rest of their lives, and we get left in peace. Odds are we won't run into any more dogs, since they'll be busy hauling them back home. Then we make Equestria tomorrow, and continue on our way."

"Or?" She asked.

"Or, we jump in and save them. We kill the dogs and loot them, get to be the hero's, and blow off some steam." As we were talking, another one of them fell, also trapped in a net. The third was still face in the sand passed out from being drunk, and the fourth, a mare, sat there in fear. She started yelling for help. Gilda face-clawed.

"Ugg, fine, let's go bail them out."

She took to the air, and I drew my weapon, holding it in my mouth. It was a little too heavy to carry this way, so the tip was in the sand. As I ran at the group, it drew a thin line in the sand. Gilda let out a shriek, and the dogs looked up.

'Nice distraction.' I brought my blade up, in a diagonal slash, and severed one of the dog's arms. I reared up, took the blade in my claws, and made another cut on the same angle, in the opposite direction, making a deep gash across it's chest. The rest of the dogs looked at me. The leader, carrying chemicals, took one of the vials and threw it. Gilda landed on him, burying his face in the sand. The vial landed harmlessly in the soft white grains at my feet. I picked it up, and chucked it, making it shatter on the third one's face. He passed out. The fourth one ran. The fifth one ran to his leader. Gilda and I walked to the trapped ponies, and took their net's off. The leader had gotten his face out of the sand, and turned to face me.

"I wonder how dog meat tastes?" I asked, not actually wanting an answer, (I heard it's terrible). He whimpered and ran. The dog I had slashed wasn't dead, but he was wounded, he ran as well. The fifth one grabbed his passed out partner before heading into the woods.

"Damn, I guess we don't get to loot them now. That sucks." Gilda said, coming up beside me.

"Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Although I think we won a bigger one by letting them go."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well, they're gonna run home with their tails between their legs, and they're gonna tell their alpha about how a pair of griffins kicked their asses. Don't forget that these guys are here to catch us, these ponies were just a more enticing target. There's no need for net launchers if the prey can't fly, and we're still in griffin country. Telling their boss that the five of them, prepared to catch griffins, were beaten by two of them after they wasted their net's on a bunch of hapless ponies will be embarrassing. Not only will they be humiliated, but their boss is gonna tell the other alphas. The two of us suddenly went to the top of the badass chain. We've got a reputation now. They're gonna be afraid of us."

"Won't they just come after us, with bigger numbers?" She asked.

"Yes, they will. But that's the thing. They're cowards. They are probably afraid of their alphas, after all, if they weren't, they'd take them down to try and become the new alpha. It's pack mentality. They are taking a rabble, and trying to temper it into an effective fighting force using fear as the pressure. There is strength in numbers, but that's the only strength they have. Put pressure on the right spots, and they fall apart. You see how fast they ran when you buried the squad leader's head in dirt? He's the leader because they are afraid of him. You beat the leader, so now they're even more afraid of you. If we beat an alpha....."

"The whole pack falls in line." Gilda finished my sentence. "And if we beat all the alphas..."

"Stop, we don't need to beat ALL the alphas, just most of them. The rest will fall in line after that, because they don't wanna lose their position. But yeah, after that, we own Gem Fido."

"Then why are we headed to the jungle instead of there?" She asked.

"Because they are alpha's for a reason. We have no idea where these guys are in the chain of command. We beat them easily, but I don't know if we can take an alpha.... yet. We'd have to fight through a small army first, then deal with the alpha himself. I have no idea how tough they are, but they must be reasonably strong. Sure, I'm a crazy badass, but I'm no trained fighter. That's why were headed to the jungle."

"So, we train a bit in the jungle, get tough, then what?" She asked.

"Then, we make a pack of our own. We get a bunch of loot, get rich, and head to the volcanic wastes. Odds are, since it's a crime nest, we'll be able to find some criminals for hire. Mercenaries of all flavours. We'll want some unicorns for magic, and some dogs, since they know the most about underground, and anyone else we can take with us. Diamond dogs have loads of gems, the prospect of pillaging their holds will be motivation enough for the job, after a bit of pay. We get a boat, sail west, completely avoiding the marsh, then north, into the dragon lands. There, we arm our little crew with scale and bone, and if we're lucky, get a dragon with us, then head back to the Dominion. We take any griffins who want revenge, or their families back, and we slam into the northern most lair on the border. The ones closest to the borders will be the most heavily defended, since they face attack, but the ones inland won't be, since they are protected from outside threats by distance. We'll have to scout them out, but that's why we're getting some hounds of our own. Once we take down an alpha, we'll have more dogs, and a larger army. Then we take another, and another, and keep gathering momentum. Not only will we have the dogs, but any slaves we liberate will be more than happy to take up the cause."

She was taken aback. It was actually a pretty good plan, although a lot could go wrong along the way. Most of it would depend on how adaptable we were, as well as our abilities of persuasion. Having a giant sword made out of a dragon's scale would definitely help persuasion, all I'd have to do is tell the story of how I got it. Luckily, humans are the kings of adaptability. It's how we lived. It's how we thrived. It's what we do.

"And when did you have the time to think of all this?" She asked.

"Just now. Well, I was working on it for a little bit before, but this is when I got all the pieces put together. It's a pretty good first plan, but we can change it along the way if we need to."

"What makes you think the griffins, or anyone will follow you?" Gilda was asking an awful lot of questions. It was a little annoying, but I couldn't just leave her in the dark. I'd need her for it too.

"Well, the griffins will follow me if we get that far, because they've been looking for someone to lead them for the past 900 years. They have their pride, and a fire in their hearts. If they see us, leading a small army, telling them to come with us, get their friends and loved ones back, and make the dogs pay for ever crossing us, odds are they'll fall in. As for the others, this thing on my back. How'd I get it? Oh, I just killed a black dragon and ripped the scale off his dead body, then chopped his arm off for the handle. No biggie. I don't know about you, but killing a dragon brings some pretty serious street cred. That and greed is one of the easiest ways to control others. We're gonna go raid a poorly defended hole full of precious gems, who's with me?"

I have to say. Even with my sarcasm, I make a pretty convincing speech. At least I thought.

"Bahahahaha. You had me going there. Taking over Gem Fido? That would be the revival of the Dominion! Come on, get your head out of the clouds." She looked at me, and saw that I wasn't laughing.

"You're serious?" She said with her mouth agape. I am nothing if not ambitious.

"Hey, we might not make it that far. Then again, we might. If we fail, we only die. If we succeed, you and I rule a country three times the size of Equestria. We're just gonna go as far as we can, and have fun along the way."

"You AND me?" She asked skeptically.

"Well yeah, you'll have been there with me for the whole ride. Can't just cut you out of the equation."

"You're crazy you know that?"

"If I wasn't crazy, I would be dead. In fact, I would have told that guy at the café to piss off, and wouldn't even be here. Crazy brought me here, crazy killed a dragon, crazy wasted 10 diamond dogs, in groups of five, which we now know is the standard for their hunting parties, and crazy just might take over the world."

"What about Equestria. Assuming we get that far, there's no way we can go up against the princesses. Their army isn't that much, but it doesn't have to be. They're GODESSES." She said.

"True. We couldn't attack Equestria, because those two hold the ultimate power. Even if we could beat them, then there would be nobody to raise the sun or moon, and we'd have dug our own graves."

"So then what?"

"Pranks."

"Pranks?"

"Once we own a country, we send her a hundred letters a week, all of them asking her stupid questions, such as 'Do you like bananas?', until she get's so pissed off that she tries to do something about it. In my world, messing with someone till they do something out of character, then laughing at their reaction, is known as trolling. I'm exceptionally good at it. I asked that diamond dog what dog meat tasted like. Given the fact that we just kicked his ass, I wanted to drive the fear straight to his heart. Celestia is probably a serious pony, having to run a whole country, and I'd love to see her lose her cool."

"So, once you take over the Dominion and Gem Fido, if you get bored, you're going to prank the only beings in the world who you can't beat? Forget liking bananas, you ARE bananas."

"And I love every second of it."

Do you like bananas? Well I know where you can go bananas....
ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! Just remember that Griffin is a brony, he's seen the fanfics, the animations. While everyone else would just think it's funny, he'd think it's hilarious.

Too Peaceful (7)

Too Peaceful

"So Gilda, you in?"

"Ah what the hell, sure. It's not like I had anything better to do." She replied.

"That's the spirit!" It's funny, when you don't care what happens to yourself, you suddenly become capable of great things. It's because you're willing to take a shot that you never would have thought about before, for fear of failing.

"Oh, first things first, we have some very drunk ponies to deal with."

"I am NOT laying down next to them." She was quite firm.

"Well, then I guess I'll have to. It's way too good an opportunity to pass up." I said, laying down next to the mare who had been calling for help before. She had passed out shortly after we saved them, as did the rest, so nobody overheard the plan.

"I can't believe you're actually gonna do it. It's way too embarrassing." Gilda was wide eyed at the fact that I was actually gonna go through with my plan.

"Yeah, but we know the truth, they don't because they're drunk. It's gonna be way more embarrassing to them. If you're too much of a wimp, just go stand over there to watch their reactions." I said, putting my wing over the dark pink pony, (just a shade lighter than Cherilee) Calling Gilda a wimp was a sure way to get her to go for it. Again, social engineering for the win.

"Okay, fine, but I'm gonna get you for this later." She said, laying on the sand.

"I know you will."

We stayed the rest of the night. I had the two mares under my wings, and Gilda had the two stallions under hers. Using our wings like blankets kept the drunks warm on the cold sand. Gilda kept glaring at me for making her do it, but I grinned at her with my trademark stupid smile, telling her it would all be worth it when they woke up, which they did come morning.

"Ow, man my heeeaaaaad." The first stallion awoke.

"Man, that was some party huh." The second one waking up.

"It sure was fun *Hic*" said one of the mares, still a little drunk.

"Let's do it again next week." Said the other mare. The four earth ponies started getting their senses back, and realized that they were covered in feathers. I nodded to Gilda that now was the time to put the plan into action.

"Well hello handsomes." She said in a sultry tone. They suddenly went wide eyed.

"Hey gorgeous and beautiful, I had a wonderful time last night." I said, standing up and pushing the two mares together gently with my claws. They were still a little tipsy, so they didn't quite know what was going on. I put my head between theirs, letting them feel my soft feathers. "You two were great." I whispered.

They suddenly figured out what must have happened, and jumped away from me. They started running in circles like mad mares.

"Shall we go another round?" Gilda asked the stallions. They jumped as well, and ran to their mare friends.

"AHHHHHHHH. Us, with HER, You, with HIM. Us, with THEM!" They started freaking out. Gilda and I fell over laughing at the bunch of idiot ponies. They bought it, hook, line, and sinker.

"You were all just soooooo persuasive, we couldn't help ourselves!" I laughed.

"You two wanted me at the same time!" Gilda scoffed.

One of the mares walked up to us.

"You think *hic* this is funny? Taking advan... advan.... advantage of us poor helpless mares in our moment of weakness?" Said the pink one.

"You were hardly helpless, I could barely keep you off me." I said smiling.

"And us! We were, umm, seduced by your friend. We'd never do something like that!" The stallions were trying to make up excuses.

"Hey Gilda, should we let them in on it?"

"Yeah, I guess so, we've had our fun." She said, laughter slowly dying down.

I explained what really happened, how they had gotten drunk off their asses, wandered all the way here, and almost got sent to a life of slavery by some diamond dogs.

"We decided to have a little fun with you, and make you think you did that with us, so you'd think twice about getting so drunk next time. Do you know what would have happened if we hadn't been here?"

"Yeah, so we woulda been caught, but princess Celestia wouldn't leave us hanging." One of them said.

"Yes, she would have. You wandered off. Heck, it could be MONTHS before anyone realized you weren't coming back. And once they did eventually realize you were missing, they'd have no idea where you went. Princess Celestia is busy with royal duties. She can't just go off on a wild pony chase. As for guards, even if they did figure out where you were being held, there's no way that a bunch of ponies, not used to combat, could take on a whole pack of Diamond Dogs on their home turf, underground. Face it. Because you decided to get wasted, you almost lost your freedom."

"Then why'd you save us?" Another questioned.

"Gilda?"

"Because I know about slavery all too well. I was taken to Gem Fido as a child. I escaped, and fled to Equestria, leaving my whole family behind. Nobody should be a slave, especially not just for having a wild night. You ponies live in your little utopia, and have no idea about the real world. Just because Equestria is all sunshine and rainbows, doesn't mean the rest of the world is. In the Dominion, we have to fight, just to survive, just to live free. Every day, we face slavery by the dogs, and death by the dragons. You have your little paradise, and the rest of the world rots. You don't know anything, and that's why I can't stand you. Let's go." She motioned to me, and she took to the air.

"You better head home you four. Those dogs might still be creeping around somewhere, and we won't be around to save you. I suppose since we're headed in the same direction, you could just follow us for a bit, but we'll end up leaving you behind eventually." I took off as well, the black scale flashing the sunlight.

"Well, that went well. We got to humiliate some ponies, then humiliate them again, and we finally changed em for the better. Personally, I hate drunks. My dad was one, and it wasn't pretty. I finally learned what happened to you too."

"I don't want to talk about it." She said with a glare.

"I don't blame you at all. We both have pasts we'd rather forget, but I CAN forget mine, since it was in a different world. You can't. And that's a raw deal."

We flew for a while, and crossed the Equestrian border. As soon as they passed it, everything felt different. It was like the sun shone brighter, the grass was greener, the air was warmer, or cooler, all depending on what you wanted from it. The ocean was a brighter blue, and all the smells that hung in the air were pleasant. A small tingle could be felt. It was as if it wasn't even part of the planet, like the ring sea had originally gone all the way around, and a magic meteor crashed, making the country. It felt like a completely different world.

'Oh look, happy, playful little ponies, all going about their daily lives, not a care in the world. Reminds me of Pinkie Keen, when she was just rolling in the grass, humming, to pass the time. It's actually really annoying. Hold on, stop. I'm thinking like a bully now. I'm mad at them because they're happy? What the hell is wrong with me? Isn't this what I wanted to come to Equestria for in the first place? Wasn't this kind of bliss the goal? Geez, I'm almost like Gilda.'

"Let's keep moving, the air here is too sweet. Let's head into town, we need to get some stuff anyway."

Manehatten, the Equestria version of Manhatten, The Big Apple, New York, whatever other names you want to call it.

"Oh look Gilda, snobs who think they're better than everyone else! Isn't this place wonderful?" I love sarcasm.

"Uggh, don't remind me."

"Well, as much as I love meat and fish, I think I'm in the mood for some fruit, gotta pawn off these gems though, and since this place is all high brow, we'll get a better price than most anywhere else. I'm not sure of prices and conversion rates, so I'll need you with me for the economics. We go in, I put the gems on the table and shut up, you do all the talking."

"Got it." She acknowledged.

On entering the gem traders, we saw a great many high class 'hoity toity' looking ponies, glancing around for something that caught their eye. Apparently, that something was me. I didn't get it.

"Ahh, welcome monsieur et madame, right zis way si vous plait. The owner said in the heaviest, fakest french accent I've ever heard.

"What can Pierre do for you today? Perhaps a lovely dia-monde for zee special geirl?" Uggh, he was pissing me off. Gilda too. She looked like she was ready to snap his neck. Change of plans.

"Actually, Pierre, it's not what you can do for us, it is what we can do for you, if you catch my drift." I raised an eyebrow at him, Gilda calmed down. Pierre smiled.

"Ah, yes, come zis way please, to zee VIP room, first one on zee left."

"What happened to you shutting up and letting me do the talking?" She asked.

"You looked like you were gonna lose your cool. I was gonna shut up, AFTER I put the gems on the table, but I've got a feeling he's gonna railroad us. Besides, I hate these high class types. This could work to our advantage. You go for the intimidation route, and he'll me much more inclined to deal with me, since I'll come off as more reasonable, and that way, we can get a better price. I just need you to make sure he doesn't try to rip us off. You took a look at the prices as we came in right?" I asked.

"Yeah." She replied.

"Good, if he tries to give us anything less than half for gems of comparable size and quality, we walk. If he goes for half, we work him up to 65%" I'd never done this before, but again, movies. Since this was technically a T.V show, they probably have the same characteristics.

"Now, what iz eet zat you came to talk with Pierre?" Ok, I'm putting an end to this right now.

"Pierre, drop the accent. You're not fooling anybody, and it's just making things harder on all of us."

"Oh thank Celestia, I hate having to keep that up. Most often clients prefer to deal with a 'cultured' pony. I have to wear an air of high society, so I don't let on that they're dealing with a sleeze." Suddenly he realized what he said and stuffed his hoof in his mouth.

"Oh, I already know you're a cheat, that's why I've brought my associate, to make sure things go smoothly" He eye'd Gilda, who crossed her arms and gave a scowl. This was going to work out rather well. I got him to admit that he'll try to rip us off, which I didn't know for certain, and now he KNOWS I know, so he'll be more inclined to NOT try it. Of course, he still will, but just to much less of a degree.

I put the bag on the table, and opened it to reveal a load of bright, shiny gems, all of varying sizes and type. He looked at each closely, and Gilda watched him to make sure he didn't try anything funny. He knew she was watching, otherwise while he held a gem with his magic, he'd try to slip one off the table with his hoof.

"Hmm, for all these, I'll give ya 1500 bits."

'1500? That sounded like a lot, but then again, we were dealing with gems here.' I turned to whisper to Gilda, and he moved his hooves. She slammed her claws on the table, grabbing them, not letting them move at all. She whispered to me, I scooped up the gems, and stood up.

"Goodbye Mr. Pierre, I am sorry to have wasted your time." I said, beginning to walk out.

"Alright, 2000." He said, Gilda still holding his hooves. I looked at him, and raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, 3000, and not a single bit more." He was desperate.

"3500, and we forget all about you trying to rob us just now." I knew where to apply pressure.

"Fine, 3500." He wasn't too happy about it.

"Thank you very much Pierre, it was nice doing zee business with you." I laughed. Gilda finally let go of his hooves. He handed us the bits, which we counted three times, and made sure each piece was legitimate. I didn't think he'd try counterfeiting, but this was just to add the extra intimidation, as we slowly counted them out, and checked each coin. He was sweating. We passed him his gems, and walked out. We took to the skies, because we didn't want the ponies on the ground to see us laughing our asses off.

"Even in a utopia, we can still find a den of slime and villainy. I guess Equestria isn't too peaceful after all."

Dear Princess Luna,

Is the moon made of cheese?

Sincerely, Griffin.

New In Town (8)

New In Town

"Gilda, I just realized something."

"What is it Grif?" She asked.

"Ponies are idiots."

"You're just figuring that out now?" She said sarcastically.

"What I mean is, the ponies are naive, and where there are naive ponies, there will be those who will try to take advantage of them, like 'Pierre' back there. The thing is, he's naive too. I also took a look at the gems out front. I figured we'd only get 5000 bits for ours, 3500 is 70%. We got more than I expected out of him, because he was too stupid. We knew he would try something like that, which is why there were the two of us. He tried it anyway, and got caught. Most morons think everyone else is one. We also think that we're smarter than everyone else, we just can't let it go to our head, or someone will surprise us."

"You never cease to amaze." She replied.

"Well, we've got 3500 bits, let's buy some fruits and veggies, but not here. Everything is priced higher here, we'd be wasting our money. Let's head to the next town."

Gilda pulled out the map, and scowled. "Ponyville."

"What's the matter?" I asked, knowing damn well what the issue was.

"In all Equestria, the lamest ponies live there. That purple bookworm I told you about, a pink pony that is way too hyper, a snob who'd fit in perfectly here, some farm hick, a scaredy cat, and...." she trailed off.

"Let me guess, judging from what you've told me, it's a group of friends. All that's missing is the athletic one, who's also an idiot." Me, again knowing everything.

"I told you to stop that. Yeah, I used to hang with her, back when she didn't suck, then she started hanging around a bunch of lame ponies. She changed, and now we're not friends anymore." She said, looking sad, but trying to hide it.

"Yeah, back on my world, I had a couple friends. I made a change for the better, started doing something fun, something they didn't like. Just like that, I was all alone in the world. Part of the reason why I'm here I guess. It sucks being without friends. I guess we have each other now."

"Heh, yeah." Gilda said weakly. What I said struck a nerve. "Well, I say we go somewhere else."

"Can't, that's the only town on the way to Canterlot. Unless you'd rather eat more raw clams." There was a large expanse of land between Manehatten and Ponyville, and the iconic village wa actually further south than Canterlot, but was closer overall. We needed new supplies, so we'd have to stop off there.

Gilda gulped hard. "Point taken. If you don't mind, I'll just fly over town while you do business. I don't really wanna go back there, and I don't think they'd let me back in either."

"Alright, then tell me a little more about each of them." I knew ALL about them already.

"Why?" She asked.

"I wanna know what to look out for."

Gilda explained each of their personality traits, or what she knew of them. It was all old news to me, but I listened anyway. I couldn't let her know that I secretly adored those 'lame' ponies, while I had to agree that Pinkie was too hyper, and Rainbow was too cocky. We'd probably end up butting heads.

"Okay, got my list. A bucket, some cooking knives, some tomatoes, potatoes, leeks, lemons, don't need chives cuz I can just find em. Need a small pot for cooking, a folding stand to hold the pot, an ax to get firewood.... Oh! Some backpacks to make carrying it all easier. Should probably get rid of my animal skins, walking into town looking like a bloody mess is a sure way to send the wrong message. Keepin the sword though, it looks badass. Okay! I'm all set."

"So, you gonna name it?" Gilda asked me.

"Name what?"

"The sword. It's unique, and if you're gonna be king one day, you gotta have a name for your legendary blade." She laughed as she said king, letting me know she wasn't serious.

"Hmm, Midnight Rain. It's dark as a cloudy night and my enemies blood shall fill the heavens. Sound good?"

"You dork." She giggled.

'Gilda. Gilda. GILDA giggled? HER of all people, ponies, griffins, whatever, GIGGLED?

"Laugh it up hot stuff."

"It's too complex. Try something simpler." She said blushing at my compliment. I know for a fact she likes me, might as well make her know I like her. Never thought I'd ever be in Equestria, and now that I'm here, I'm falling for the last one I ever expected.

"Hades."

"What does that mean?" She asked.

"In Greek mythology, the same mythology that has griffins, Hades is the god of the underworld. He has a skeleton face and wears black robes. The gates of the underworld are guarded by his pet, the three headed giant wolf, cerberus. To enter the afterlife, you are taken by boat across a river of blood by a skeletal ferryman. People would put a coin in the mouth of their dead loved ones, because when the ferryman took them across, when they got half way, he'd ask for payment. If you didn't have it, he'd dump you in the river where the souls of the wicked dead would drag you down and make you feel the pain and cold of drowning for all eternity."

"Your weird alien species is seriously fucked up." She said dumbstruck.

"And you know something? That's just the entrance, and it's not even near the worst afterlife we've thought of." She shuddered at the thought. I wasn't gonna tell her about Dante's Inferno, I didn't feel like cleaning griffin puke off my feathers.

"Alright, so, I'll meet you at the edge of town.... here." I pointed to a spot just south of Sweet Apple Acres on a local map. She nodded and flew off, telling me she'd find a place to take a quick nap. Diamond dogs don't come anywhere near, and there aren't any thieves either, so it'd be safe. She took all our collected gear and carried to to the meeting place, while I headed into down. We had been flying for a while to get there, and I wanted to rest my wings.

As I walked into town, some background ponies I recognized started staring. Lyra and Bon Bon, the turquoise unicorn sitting in her usual human like manner, Roseluck and Carrot Top (also known as golden harvest) I spotted Derpy slamming into a lamp post not once, but three times before finally deciding to go around it, having a private laugh to myself.

"HI! I'm Pinkie Pie and I saw you walking into town and thought you must be new here in Ponyville because I'm friends with everypony in Ponyville so I'd remember all of them and I don't remember you which I definately would because you're the second griffin to ever come here and ooh what is that on your back it looks heavy but it's shiny and I saw you walking all alone and I thought if you're all alone and you're new that you probably don't have any friends here and what better way to make friends than to..." I would have been surprised if I wasn't expecting it. But I WAS expecting it. Nobody can walk into Ponyville without a Pinkie Pie greeting. I put my claw over her mouth about half way through that, but she just kept talking through it, and it was easy enough to figure out what she was saying.

"Listen up, I don't like parties because I feel awkward at them, pies are fine, but cupcakes are too sugary. Eating too many sweets will make you sick, I'm not here to stay I'm a traveler who just passing through to buy some supplies. This thing on my back is very shiny and heavy, and it's also very sharp. It's a tool and memento of my journey, and I would appreciate if you didn't touch it, not that you could damage it but I don't want you to hurt yourself. As for friends, I do have a friend who I'm meeting later, after I buy my supplies. We want to keep moving, and I don't want to waste any time here. I really just want to get what I need and leave. Even though I could understand everything you said you are much too hyperactive for my tastes, and if you don't want to direct me to what I'm looking for, then please get out of my way."

'Okay, I was a little mean, but I have a schedule to keep. Next to Rarity, Pinkie is actually my least favorite. She's too hyper and too happy. Sure, she's funny and she's friends with everyone, but from my time on earth, you get it in your head that anyone who's THAT happy has something seriously wrong with them, and me having pretty much no friends at all makes me just about incompatible with her. She's sweet and I'm sour. Since we're not making a sauce to go on rice or chicken balls, nor are we a package of candy (although given what she eats, she could be mistaken for one), we don't mix well.'

"You mean you DON'T want to be my friend?" She said, giving me the sad eyes. Too bad for her I'm immune to them.

"I'm afraid not." I said, throwing her a ragged piece of tied rope from my pack that I specifically prepared for this moment ahead of time. (Afraid not, A frayed knot, get it?)

Pinkie looked at the rope for a moment, thinking about what I said, before she burst out laughing.

"You've got a great sense of humor! Are you sure you don't wanna be my friend?" She asked.

"Listen pinks, that shiny thing on my back? It's a weapon. Where I come from is not a nice place, and I had to do not-very-nice things to survive there. It's made from a dragon's scale. I'll let you guess how I got it. Here's a hint. I'm a great big mean meanie pants, and you don't wanna get involved with me. I'm just going to pick up what I need, then I'll be out of your hair."

"Don't you mean mane?" She asked quizzically. "And you can't be all bad if you're funny and talk the same way I do."

"I talk the same way you do because I want you to understand that I'm dangerous, and to stay away from me."

Her mane fell flat. I just gave her the Ponyville equivalent of 'fuck off'. I felt kind of bad about it, but I don't feel like getting a migraine from having my ears talked off. Given that I'm part bird now and they're inside my head, that would be a bad thing. Nnng.... dang it.... I was a jerk to Pinkie Pie. I REALLY shouldn't have done that........ I made myself feel bad.

"Hey, cheer up kid. It ain't all bad. You've got plenty of friends, you don't need me to be one."

"I never said anything about big mean meanie pantses, or anything about cupcakes or parties. How did you know?" The pink party pony asked, having calmed down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her tail twitch, but I didn't let on that I saw it. I looked up to see a flowerpot falling. I grabbed it in my claw and spun around. (I have good reflexes when it comes to catching things, comes from having things thrown at me a lot), walked up to her sitting on the ground, and set it in front of her.

"Same way you know when something's gonna fall."

'DAMN that was cool.' It's not technically a lie, since in theory, since she exists partly outside the 4th wall, she is aware of all the happenings of the universe should she actually try to look at them. She's far too active to concentrate on it, so it acts out on her body instead. Like how when she had her freak out she knew something was gonna happen at froggy bottom bog. I was aware of things the same way, combining my reaction times with my audience perspective. Apparently, that was the WRONG thing to do. He mane became poofy again, and she started yammering all over again.

"You mean YOU have Pinkie Sense too? Although you're not a pinkie, you're a griffin, so is it griffin sense? It does different things than my Pinkie Sense does, so it must be different. Do all griffins have that or just you?" She kepts throwing a million questions at me before I had a chance to answer any of them.

"Listen, if you help me find the things I need, I'll answer your questions the best I can." I said, holding my claw over her mouth again. She nodded, and I handed her my shopping list.

"Okay, potatoes, tomatoes, tee hee, those rhyme, leeks, lemons, knives, a pot, a bucket, and a folding cooking stand? Are you some kind of traveling griffin chef or something?" She asked with earnest.

"I guess you could say that."

"Ooh, can you cook something for me? I bet the food you make is really good!" Oh boy, I didn't want to have to tell her this.

"I don't think you'll like the food I make."

"And why not?" She asked, batting her eyelashes.

"Because I'm a griffin, and most griffins eat meat. Last I checked, ponies were vegetarians."

"Oh. Okay. I guess you're right." She looked a little sad, but hey, she wanted to know.

"Ah, here we are, variety store." She said, perking back up again. I checked through the store, finding the bucket, knives, pot, backpacks, and cooking stand that I needed. I paid for them all with haste, ignoring the strange look I was getting from the store owner, telling me he thought I was gonna try and steal something.

'Damn racist.'

"Okay, so now it's just the market place. I should be able to find everything I need there, then I'm outta here."

"Wow, traveling the world? I know you just started but wow. Even fighting a full grown dragon and winning, you must be super strong." Pinkie was impressed. I left out the bloody details. I just told her that it went after my friend and I fought it off.

"Not really, I'm just super smart."

"Oh, you didn't tell me your name!" Pinkie exclaimed.

'Here we go.'

"Not gonna, you'll laugh at me."

"No I won't." She defended herself.

"Pinkie Promise?" She looked stunned that I knew about that, but just as her friends chalked her behaviour up to 'Pinkie being Pinkie', she didn't question it. She went through the silly ritual before I gave a sigh.

"Griffin."

"Well duh, I know you're a griffin, what's your NAME?" Oh boy.

"Griffin." I said again.

"I promised I wouldn't laugh, just tell me your name!" She squealed.

"My name is Griffin. I'm Griffin the griffin. My parent's were unimaginative, and I have to explain this to every per.... pony I talk to." I was annoyed, then I was mad. Since I got here, anyone I talked to always made fun of my name, and I DO. NOT. LIKE. BEING. LAUGHED. AT.

Pinkie Pie, despite making a trademark Pinkie Promise, laughed at my name. As soon as the first giggles came out, she put her hooves over her mouth, and looked at me with desperation.

"Goodbye, Pinkie." I began to walk away. She sat there on the street, her mane went flat, and she began to cry.

"GILDA!" I heard a yell come from the sky as I was tackled by a blur.

"You dare show your face in Ponyville again after what you did. When I saw you talking to Pinkie, I thought maybe you had changed, maybe you came to make things right. Now you've gone and made her cry. NOPONY makes Pinkie cry."

'Shit, I'm about to be murdered by Rainbow Dash. Wait, did she call me Gilda?'

I jumped to my paws, using my wings for stability as I crossed my forearms, holding my claws out in front of me. It's not a very good move to use on humans, because human's have their feet planted firmly on the ground. Rainbow Dash was flying, and she'd never see it coming.

The enraged mare dove at me, both hooves forward, intending to ram me with them. I caught them in my claws, using my crossed arms to brace against the impact.

"See ya sweet heart." I said using my coolest, most masculine voice possible, which confused her greatly. Then I uncrossed my arms, making her spin around like Starfox when Peppy won't shut up.

'Do a barrel roll!'

Dash came out of it and crashed on the ground. Her eyes rolling around in her head, she hit herself with her hoof to make herself snap out of it. She got on all fours crouching low, as she gave a springing tackle using the lift from both her wings and legs. I have a higher center of gravity than her, so she was hitting me low to throw me off balance. Clever girl. She flipped my off my back paws, causing me to land on my back. Luckily I had a sheath made for Hades when we were in Manehatten, or I would have lost my tail to the blade. Rainbow landed hard on my upper stomach, knocking the wind out of me. She was fast and small, and I wasn't trying to kill her. An impossible to hit target that I wasn't trying to hit, there was no contest.

"Gah!" I yelled in pain. She looked at me angrily as I felt a strange tingle. My eyes shot wide as I realized the position I was in.

"Somepony help! I'm being raped by a madmare!" I called out using what little lung capacity I had available at the moment. Rainbow suddenly stopped her attempts to bludgeon me, looking down between her legs, she saw that she was straddling me, pressing 'it' up against my body with her own 'area'. She jumped off embarrassed. Once I regained my breath, I stood back up.

"Geez sunshine if ya wanted me that bad you could have just asked. I'm open minded."

'Trololololo lololo lololo. Man I love Edward Khil.'

"Can it buddy. Why'd ya go and make Pinkie Pie cry?" She asked, still mad, but also blushing.

"Why? Am I not pretty enough for you?" I said with as much of a smirk one can have with a beak.

"No, you're ugly, now what did you do to Pinkie!?!" She yelled.

"I didn't do anything. Why don't you go ask her?"

Pinkie had watched the whole thing, and explained, leaving out all the details.

"I made him a Pinkie Promise, then I broke it." She said sobbing. Rainbow's eyes went wide at the thought of Pinkie Pie herself breaking her own trademark promise.

"Who are you anyways?" She demanded. I gave a sigh.

"Griffin." Here we go again.

"You're name idiot." She was annoyed.

"First you tackle me, then you call me a girl's name, then you molest me, then you make fun of my looks, and finally, you insult me because my name is ironic. Pinkie, you said EVERYPONY in Ponyville is your friend? With friends like skittles here, who needs enemies?" Chew on that Dash, maybe that'll take your ego down a notch...... wait. Now I'm being an ass to Rainbow Dash too? What the hell! I mean, I was in a bad mood anyway, but that's no excuse!

"You are by far the WORST pony I've ever met, and I would prefer never to see you again. As for you Pinkie Pie, I forgive you, but I still won't be your friend, you... shouldn't get involved." I said, trying to look like I'm holding a hidden pain in order to make the fact that they won't get to know me even worse. I'm a terrible person, you know that? I just met two of the mane six, and I just made both of them cry, even though it was their own faults. Pinkie looked a little happier, but Dash had tears in her eyes. In order to not be seen crying, she flew off to what I assumed to be above the clouds.

"I hope all your friends aren't that mean Pinkie, or else I'd have to reconsider your offer since I'd fit right in." I said as I walked to the market square.

'What the hell brain, stop making me be mean to my idols!'

Dear Princess Celestia,

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Hey! Griffin is an asshole! But you all knew that, didn't you?

Explanation (9)

Explanation

I walked through the market, picking up all the fruits and veggies I needed,

'Well, now I've gone and done it. I just made Pinkie and Rainbow cry, although Pinkie crying wasn't really my fault, and she did look happier when I said I forgave her. I'm a brony, but the first thing I did when I came across the mane six is make them feel bad. What the hell is wrong with me? I guess maybe seeing it in real life takes some of the shine out of it. Now that I've seen them face to face, instead of being some kind of idol, they're just regular people, ponies, whatever. I should probably apologize.'

As I walked through town, I came across Carousel Boutique, home of my least favorite of the mane six, Rarity. I always thought of her as stuck up. Element of generosity.... sure, she's generous, but what she gives, other than her tail that one time, is nothing to her. What does she know about sacrifice, giving up something important to her for someone else? Oh well, I'll at least try to keep my manners.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique were everything is sleek, chique, and magnifique, how may I help...... you......" The white unicorn said her welcome, but stared and trailed off when she saw me walking in.

'Great, she's racist too. Well, good luck Spike, you'll need it.'

"I'm not really sure. I met some ponies earlier today, and well, I said some things I shouldn't have. I kinda want to apologize, but I'm not sure where I can find them. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash? I heard you were their friend. While I know Pinkie will be at the bakery, I have no idea where the rainbow one went."

"I'm right here." Dash said, stepping out from the back.

'Rainbow Dash in Rarity's shop? What the heck would she be doing here? Well, at least that saves me the trouble of hunting her down.'

"Listen, about earlier, I...."

"You're MEAN!" She didn't even let me apologize.

"I'm mean? You called me a girl, tackled me, did something highly inappropriate while trying to knock me out, called me ugly, then made fun of my name. I've never seen you before, and you fly at me with a physical, verbal, and sexual assault. I came here to apologize, maybe get you something to make up for it, but at the rate you're going, I'm about to change my mind." Now let Rarity chew her friend out.

"You kept egging me on!" She defended herself.

"Hmm, yeah, but I never once insulted you. I teasingly called you sweetheart, and tried making light of the compromising situation we found ourselves in. The entire time, you never thought about how I felt, so yeah, I blew my fuse."

"You make Pinkie cry!" As we kept shooting points back and forth, Rarity kept looking between us, wondering what the other would say in their defence.

"I did nothing of the sort. I made her promise not to laugh at my name, because it's a soft spot for me. She promised, and then she broke her promise. Griffin the griffin? Do you have any idea how awkward it is for me during introductions?"

"Well, that's still no reason to be rude darling." Rarity stated.

"Have you ever been beaten half to death after your so-called friends betray you, then leave you in a ditch to die? Have you ever walked home two miles on a broken leg in a rainstorm, up to your ankles in mud? Has anyone ever tried to drown you by dunking your head in a freshly used toilet? Have you ever gone to a formal gathering, only to have other guests rip your clothes off you to embarrass you? Things may be all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows around here, but it's nowhere close in the rest of the world."

"What do you mean?" Rainbow asked.

"My friend was a slave to the diamond dogs, her family is still trapped underground, hauling gems for them. She hasn't seen her mother in years. The dogs don't have any choice either, because if they don't come up with enough gems, they all get eaten by dragons, and THEY don't have any choice, or they starve. You've got your precious princesses to protect you, you know who we griffins have? NOBODY. I guess it makes me just a little bit pissed off, and then I come here. I saw the look you gave me when I came in. I get the same look from everypony I pass. The look that says, 'What are YOU doing here?' The look telling me to go away and never come back, just because of what I am. I'm just sick of putting up with all the merde I keep getting, and it makes me grumpy. Get it?" I hung my head as they looked at me in shock of the recent revelation.

Rarity thought back to how she had been captured by the diamond dogs, and the thought of ripping the clothes off somepony was unbearable. Rainbow thought about why Gilda might have been so mean, did she have family, trapped in the mines? She never saw Gilda's parents, and assumed she didn't have any. Rainbow asked Rarity what I meant by merde, and she whispered that it meant I was tired of all this bullshit, but I was trying to be polite.

"Just what is that thing on your back?" Rarity asked, trying to break the tension. "It's beautiful, but ominous at the same time."

"It's my weapon, a cross between a sword, hammer, ax, and shield. It's made from the scale of the black dragon I killed. It tried to eat me and my friend, so I pulled a scale out of it's arm, flew down it's throat, and choked it to death."

"That's terrible!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, when you've been drenched in your own blood all your life, pretty soon you start fighting back. We got attacked by Diamond Dogs while her wounds were still healing, and I killed them without batting an eye. THIS is why I didn't want to be Pinkie Pie's friend. Look at her. She's happy, she laughs. Stealing someones laughter is the worst crime you can commit, because when you stop being happy, you stop being alive. Even though griffins struggle everyday, they still have their pride. These are OUR burdens, and we will not force them on someone else and steal their smile."

"Then why are you telling us this?" Rainbow asked.

"Because I want you to think the next time you're about to insult a griffin. You have no idea what they've been through."

"You didn't seem too upset before." Dash spat back.

"Because when you live like I do, you either get a sense of humor, or you fall into misery. The griffins are living in misery, and I intend to get them out of it or die trying. Have you ever felt hopeless? Because there is an entire nation, their number's dwindled down to under 7000, feeling hopeless. Countless more held as slaves in Gem Fido, all of them hoping they don't get eaten by dragons. They are kept from their friends and family. Griffins like to fly as much as pegasi do, but they will never see the light of the sun or the open air again. It's like having your wings cut off."

Rainbow gulped, opening her plumed limbs, taking a nervous look at them before putting them back.

"Sorry I ruined your day, I'll just be getting the last of my things and be on my way."

I walked out of the boutique and headed for the iconic library tree. I felt a little better after apologizing to Dash, who had finally been given an indirect explanation for Gilda's behaviour, and Pinkie who was happier since I had forgiven her. Rarity was still trying to wrap her mind around how the entire griffin species was reduced to slaves while the princesses did nothing about it, and started to wonder how many of her imported gems were the products of slave labour.

"Hello, oh um........." Twilight looked at me, standing in her doorstep.

'Not her too. Seriously? Is everyone gonna give me that look? Fine, let's see how she likes this.'

*Crrrraaaccckkk*

'The snapping of bones is so satisfying. I had that kink in by neck for the past week. Comes from sleeping on dirt. Too bad we couldn't find any good clouds until recently.'

Twilight visibly shuddered. It seems this entire world has joint cracking as a pet peeve. It snapped her out of her trance though, as she continued.

"How can I help you?" She asked sweetly, although trying to avoid eye contact.

"I'm looking for some books."

"Title? Author?" She asked, hoping I would hurry up, get what I needed, and leave.

"Content." I replied, not knowing of any book titles or writers. "I need books on Diamond Dogs, the Feline Jungle, Volcanic Wastes, the Ring sea, applied chemistry, herbology and potion making, metallurgy, and gem craft, as well as a non unicorn guide to magic."

"Ehm, that's quite a list........" She said nervously. Me being a griffin putting her off.

'Okay, time for some charm.'

"From the sign outside, you live here in the library, and organize these books yourself. I'm sure someone as talented as you, living in a storehouse of knowledge, can handle it." Twilight is one of my favorites. She's just like me. She's logical, precise, has OCD, is socially inept, until recently was a shut in, and likes to think a problem through before tackling it because she's afraid of failure. She's basically me as a female without my bad attitude.

Twilight blushed at the compliment. Realizing that I had an appreciation for books put her at ease. I'd often spend time in my local library, learning all those things geeks learn, so I was no stranger to pages and bindings. She seemed to lower her guard a bit, and went off to find the texts I asked for.

"What's that thing?" I heard a voice ask. I already knew who it was, Spike.

"Sword made of dragon scale."

"How'd ya get it?" He asked.

"Dragon ate me, but I'm really chewy. He swallowed me whole and choked." I figured I'd try and be funny. Spike knows what it's like to be a doormat, and I happen to be particularly fond of his 'go get em' attitude despite all that. He let out a bit of a laugh, the thought of me being 'chewy' to a creature who could grind diamonds to dust with it's teeth being too much.

"Here you are, so, um, how long will you be checking these out for?" Twilight asked as she returned, levitating a large number of books. I scanned through them, putting what I actually needed, practical knowledge, in a smaller pile while pushing the rest off to the side.

"They for sale?"

"Um, no. Only for lending. Sorry. What do you need these for anyways?" She asked.

"I'm a traveler, and these will be useful in my travels. Please don't kill me with questions." I replied packing the books into my backpack.

"Why would I do that?" She asked.

'Shit, well, time to tell the truth, and make it so ridiculous that she'll never believe it. Then use the confusion to escape with the goods. She'll be thinking about this one for the next year.'

"No reason. No reason at all. I am a completely normal, average, everyday, uninteresting griffin, and definitely not an interdimensional alien in disguise." I said, purposefully using a bad poker face.

"Wait, WHAT?" She exclaimed, stunned. I cleared my throat, and in my best imitation of Yu-Gi-Oh abridged's Marik, said,

"Ignoooooore me!", as I ran out the door and took to the sky. I flew as fast as I could to my meeting place with Gilda, who I found resting on a cloud above Sweet Apple Acres.

"Hey Twi...." Spike asked, poking the purple mare.

"Yes Spike?" Twilight asked.

"You do realize that he just stole those books, right?"

"Okay Gilda, time to move!" I said as I pushed her off the cloud, interrupting her nap.

"What's the big idea moron?" She snapped as she woke up, clearly annoyed.

"We need to make ourselves scarce. In a few minutes I'm going to have a very angry unicorn chasing me because I just stole some books from her. Forget Canterlot, we're headed east to the shore, then due south to Stalliongrad."

We flew till we reached the ocean, then headed south till night fell. After we got some dinner, and set up the clam bucket, we finally got to talking.

"So just what happened in Ponyville?" Gilda asked.

"Well, I got bombarded with questions by Pinkie Pie, who became all depressed because she promised not to laugh at my name and did. Then I got tackled by Rainbow Dash, who thought I was you. Then she accidentally molested me. Then she called me ugly. I blew up at her, and she flew off crying. Felt like kind of an ass afterwards, so I went into the snob's house to buy her something frilly, which she would probably hate given her personality, and found she was already there. Then I explained both of our attitudes to her, without me giving you away. Finally, I picked up some practical knowledge on where we're headed, and since I couldn't take the books with me, I made the librarian spaz out by indirectly telling her that I'm an alien, using the resulting confusion to escape with the goods."

"Geez, in a single day, you turned the most important ponies in that dump on their heads." Gilda laughed.

"Yep, and I also learned that while I can take care of big enemies, small fast ones are a problem for me. Dash threw me for a loop. Turns out, she's actually pretty skilled in one on one combat."

"Yeah, she is a black belt in karate after all." She reminded me.

'Oh yeah, back in the episode before Applebloom joined the crusaders, Dash was trying to teach her martial arts. Wow, how did I not remember that?'

"If I can get taken down by that pony, there's no way I'm in any shape to deal with a nest of dogs. From now on, we've gotta spar daily, build up strength and hone our skills. I'm good with Hades as is, because I practiced kendo on a rare occasion, (one of my geek friends was into that, and we sparred a couple times before he found out I was a brony), and played way too much monster hunter."

"What's that?" She seemed intrigued.

"Its a game where you go around killing dragons, sea serpents, and whatever else is unlucky enough to get in your way."

"You mean you've done this kind of thing before?" She seemed shocked. "I thought you didn't have dragons in your world."

"Because it's not real, it takes place on a screen. You've seen movies right?" She shook her head no.

"Okay, then, think of it like a controlled, group hallucination. You take on the role of a character, and with up to four other people with you, undertake massive hunts, controlling the body from a third person perspective. I learned how to fight with this thing by watching the motions of my character. You don't have direct control, more like giving commands from afar."

"That's way too confusing." She said holding her head.

"Just think of it like this, I've watched over a thousand stage performances of armed combat, performed by professional fighters. Eventually, you pick up on it. Using it myself, there were some key differences between real life and the game, but humans are adaptable, and we pick up on things quickly. Take any job, no matter how complex. Make a human do it over and over for an entire month. By the end of the month, he'll be a master at it. That's the problem. There is nothing we can't overcome with a little effort, so next to nothing is WORTH the effort. When you excel without even trying, life get's boring. We're too good for our own good. I expect in two months I'd be able to beat Rainbow in unarmed combat, if I do it every day. I'm not sure how Equestrian karate differs from earth karate, but just by watching her I could see she was full of openings. I couldn't get in those openings, because my body and reactions are too slow, but I could see them easily."

"So, even you aren't perfect." Gilda said with a huff.

"Nobody is. I'm just better at getting close."

Dear Princess Luna

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Now his inner brony is satisfied that he wasn't a complete ass to the mane six, he's tries explaining video games to Gilda. Oh joy.

Training (10)

Training

"Oof." I let out a puff of air as I fell to the ground, Gilda putting her claw to my throat.

"Alright, I give. You really are good at this."

"That's what now? Sixteen to three?" She smirked as she let me up.

"Seventeen to five actually."

"I thought you said you were good at this?" She mocked me. "I mean, you're a dude, so you have more muscle, and you said you had to fight before you got here. What happened?"

"Well, for starters, I used to walk on two legs. It's this body. I could weave around my enemies before because I was a lot more graceful, dance classes. Yeah, I know, they're lame, laugh it up. This body is stronger, can fly, and has claws but it's a lot more.... bulky. That and I have to go on all fours, which means often times my claws aren't free, and going on my hind legs is no good because I'll have them cut out from under me, and make myself a bigger target for ranged attacks. I have no hand to hand experience with this form, and no quadrupeds from my world have martial arts for me to watch. That does however mean that if we come up against some kind of ninja Diamond Dog, they won't stand a chance because I've seen it all already. It's like I was born and raised to fight the mutts."

"And that's why we're doing this." She said as she pinned me for the 18th time.

"Yep."

After she had beaten me 30 or so times, we took a break to eat. I drew the clams from the bucket, filled the pot with water from a nearby river that fed into the ocean, and had Gilda start the fire on the beach. I had taught her how to find and use flint, which she swore once we got back to the Dominion that she was going to show everybody. Also, as a side note, only ponies, sheep, cows, and donkeys say everypony. Griffins, Diamond Dogs, and dragons that aren't raised by recluse unicorns say everybody or everyone. This made adjusting a lot easier, and no pony would question my word selection.

"You know, these claws are beyond useful. It's like having razor sharp little knives that are good for everything from combat to cooking." I commented as I sliced some of the vegetables. Adding the clam meat to the cream based broth first to let it cook thoroughly, followed by potatoes for richness, and finally chives for flavour. I let it simmer for a couple minutes before pulling out some bowls and spoons that we had gotten in Manehatten, since they were cheap.

"Alright, dig in!" I ate heartily, while Gilda picked at it, not actually eating.

"Come on, we had em in a bucket overnight so there's no sand or salt, and it won't be chewy because they're cooked. It's really good!"

Finally, Gilda took a real mouthful this time, and her eyes went wide in shock at the taste. It was good to say the least. Better than raw venison by any measure. She threw her silverware into her backpack, and gulped the chowder down, eating straight from the bowl.

"This is fantastic! Where'd you learn to make this?" She demanded.

"Library. Not this one, one back home. I was planning on surviving in the wild, so I needed to know how to cook, and had been on vacation a couple times to the southern beaches. My parents didn't want me to come along and ruin their holiday, but they were afraid I'd burn the house down. No concern if I'D be okay."

"Well, when we finish our round trip, it looks like I'll have a couple new tricks to show everyone. It may not be flawless, but this will certainly help with the starvation problem. I mean, there were so many of these things, we only had to dig for a minute to get enough!" She exclaimed.

"That's because they were unknown up till now. They multiplied like mad without anyone digging them up. Also means that our army will never march on an empty stomach. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Stalliongrad is a day away by air with all this gear. Now that our bellies are full, let's get a move on."

I had become a much better flyer in that time. Gilda, being faster, normally flew in front, letting me watch how she flew, as well as get a glimpse of her rear end now and then.

'Damnit Griffin! Get a hold of yourself. Now is not the time to be thinking about that!'

Still, I was getting better, and could carry more weight. I started hauling more of the gear as I wanted to build up muscle, and flying faster at that. About half a day to Stalliongrad, I spotted a peculiar sight. The super speedy cider squeezy, with Flim and Flam riding it. Something didn't look quite right though, it didn't look the same as I remembered it. I motioned to Gilda that I wanted to take a closer look. We flew down, pushing the clouds down with us to use as cover.

'Man, being able to move clouds is awesome. Too bad we can't sleep up there, because our gear isn't enchanted to stay up with us.'

"Look at that brother. That caravan was loaded with goods."

"You're right dear brother, who woulda thought that the bust we had in Ponyville would be the start of our good fortune!"

"You are correct dear brother, with the super speedy cider squeezy's speed, we were able to hit that group of merchant carts and make off with the goods lickity split!"

"I wonder if we'll get bounties after this? Flim and Flam, the famous bandit brothers! Sounds catchy huh?"

"Indeed it does! Why, pretty soon we'll be known all over Equestria! Respected and feared!"

"Hey Gilda, looks like those two had a deal bust in Ponyville and have turned to crime."

"So? What's it to you?" She asked, annoyed.

"Well, I'm giving you the call on this one. We can either leave em be, barter with them although they sound like con artists, or kick their asses and take their ride. Scratch that last one, looks like it's powered by their combined magic, and they said they don't have bounties. If we take em down, then they'll twist it and make us the criminals, pinning the blame on us for robbing those merchants. So, do we trade in stolen goods, or do we pass?"

"We got everything we need, I don't like ponies, and those guys are just as likely to try and rob us. Pass." She said, not wanting to put up with more 'Pierres', especially given the annoying way they spoke.

"I'm inclined to agree. They wouldn't do for combat experience anyway. If they need to work together to move that thing, they're probably not too powerful. Let's give them a little surprise instead."

"What do you have in mind?" She asked. I whispered in her ear, and she got a devilish smirk.

Pushing my cloud down at the pair of con artists, it clung to the ground, making a dense fog.

"Brother, I can't see anything because of this fog, where did it come from?"

"No idea brother, let's get out of here!"

"I can't see the road brother, I don't know where to go!

Suddenly, the fog was gone, as Gilda emptied her rain cloud on the pair, drenching them. They looked absolutely miserable. They looked to the sky and in the distance saw a pair of bird like creatures, and could have sworn they heard laughter.

"Well, that was fun, what now?" Gilda asked.

"Well, now I know that rather than just scum, there's actual crime here in Equestria too. Probably not too much though. Given that this is a utopia, there aren't going to be many who would risk getting kicked out of it."

"What about you?" She inquired.

"Well, becoming a wanted criminal would definitely make things more difficult, but at the same time, I'm pretty sure at some point we're gonna HAVE to commit crimes, like with these books. I couldn't buy them, and renting them meant staying in town a very long time to read through it all. Neither option would work, so I broke the rules. I'll probably get off easy. I only took like six books, and I have a feeling Twilight won't miss them, or can at least easily replace. This way, I get the books we need, and we don't have to worry about memorization. As for other, more serious law breaking, we'll just make sure we don't get caught won't we? After all, humans are masters of cunning, stealth, and deception."

"So, I'm teaching you martial arts, you feel like teaching me how to use a sword?" Gilda suggested.

"Nah, big sword like this doesn't really suit your style, and smaller ones won't really be effective given our anatomy. It's perfect for a great bumbling oaf like me, but for you, it lacks finesse. You'd probably like a bow better. Attack from afar, precise and unseen. Can't have two heavy hitters. Here, I'll explain the standard combat triangle. You've got up close and personal tanks, meat shields basically. They take hits like nothing, but are left open to precision. Then you have the fast and precise rogues, assassins or rangers. They can get in, deliver a lethal strike, then get out. Brawlers like me have a tough time dealing with them, because we're slower, and they just dart around us."

"Like how Rainbow Dash kicked your ass?" She gave a snide remark.

"Don't remind me. Anyway, the exception is if we're heavily armored, they can't get through the thick skin. No matter how fast you are, if you can't get through the defense, you're screwed. The final point on the combat triangle is specialists. Spell casters, potion users. They are weak and slow, but can have some devastating abilities, like Ddog knockout gas or explosives, or unicorn magic. Area of effect abilities won't do jack against an armored target, they'll just power through it, while dehabilitations, such as acid to eat away armor, or knockout gas, are effective because it's almost a guaranteed hit. Those things won't work on the faster fighters because they'll just dodge, so instead, when facing a fast opponent, specialists should use area of effect or guided attacks. They don't do as much damage, but the low armored rogues can't take that much of a beating anyways, so it's better to get a grazing hit than missing with a strong one."

"So, you rush in and give them the beat down, while I pick them off from afar?" She was starting to understand.

"Yep, but we do have a problem."

"We don't have the specialist. For this to work effectively, we need a third group member." Gilda proclaimed.

"Under normal circumstances, yes, however, I am highly abnormal. A brawler with high intelligence? Very rare. See these books? 'Herbology and Potions for the Budding Alchemist, and Practical Chemistry? Perfect for making our own things. Sleeping gas, smoke bombs, poisons, flash bombs, whatever. Both of us can use them, meaning while I am a melee fighter and you are the ranger, we can both double as specialists. Specialists are the hardest to deal with, because they're unpredictable. If I toss a flash bomb into a group of enemies, while they're disoriented, I can run in and smack em around while you pick them off unseen. If they get too close to you for comfort, and you can't handle them in close quarters, you throw a smoke bomb and escape. It mean's we have to analyse each situation carefully, but I think we're more than capable of doing that."

"You think of everything, don't you?" She asked.

"Just about. Other than those, I got books on the jungle and volcanic waste, because we'll be heading there, as well as one on the ring sea, as we'll be sailing on it, and a book on diamond dogs so I can learn more about how their society functions, what to expect from them, blah blah blah.

"What about these ones on metals and gems?" Gilda inquired.

"Well, once we've got a base of operations set up, some workers, and have resources like gems and metal in our stockpiles, we're going to want to start using it to make better weapons and armor, among other things. Once we've got ourselves going, I'm gonna rush civilization straight to the industrial age. I didn't think I should, because of the pollution, but given the state the dominion and badlands are in anyway, and the fact that magic can be used to clean up, I think we can safely pull it off without risking a climate change. Still, I'm gonna be careful what knowledge I give away. My home went too far with a lot of it's tech, and some things are better left NOT being known."

"Like the power capable of destroying the planet?" She asked.

"Yeah, that is one thing that should never have been made. Luckily, the rest of this world lacks the ingenuity to go nuclear, so I'll be carrying their secrets to my grave. I have no desire to watch the world burn."

Dear Princess Celestia,

When is a door not a door?

Sincerely, Griffin.

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. Griff goes over his plan for world domination in more detail, explaining why he needed those books, as well as a bit of his morals, and the standard combat triangle.

Test (12)

Test

At hearing Gilda and my explanation of the situation, Trixie broke out in laughter.

"Alien? Take over the world? Bwaaaaaaahhhaaha." She cackled, clearly not taking us seriously. She rolled onto her back laughing.

"That's a good one, now who are you, really?" She asked.

"Hey, you don't wanna believe me, that's fine. As for taking over the world, at this point, we can't touch Equestria, and we may never be able to, but we can take all the northern provinces if the plan works out. Either way, we busted you out, and if you don't stick with us, you'll just wind up right back in jail. As long as you do stick with us, you gotta follow our rules. By the way, we don't trust you. Not in the slightest. Me and Gilda trust each other because at several points in out little adventure, one was helpless and the other bailed them out. You're the newcomer, so we'll be watching you. Right now will be your only chance to leave. After we reach the jungle, it's going to get a whole lot more dangerous, and if you try to leave then, you'll just die. So, do you go back to jail with an extended sentence because you escaped, or do you risk your life trying to keep up with us?"

Trixie thought for a moment, before responding.

"Well, there's no doubt that you're both crazy, but you're strong, and I want to get strong too. Beats rotting in jail. Okay, I'm in."

"Very well. Rule one, every waking moment, you will be practicing your illusion magic. Subtlety is the most important. Invisibility, silence, distraction, confusion. Up till this point you've been putting on flair and making a big show. That'll just get you killed. You need to be like a ghost, and be able to manipulate your opponents. Let's say you have two very powerful enemies, who you are unable to defeat with any weapon or attack spell, how would you fight them?" I asked the blue unicorn.

"Well, no destruction or binding spell would work, and summoning a weapon wouldn't work either......."

"You cast a spell on one to make him see the other as an enemy, so they attack each other." I said annoyed at her inability to figure it out on her own.

"Oh, yes, of course. Another scenario!" She tried to make it look like she knew all along.

"One enemy, standing by a cliff. He's too strong to move, magically or other wise, and is heavily armored, as well as fast. You need to kill him."

Trixie thought for another moment, unsure. The three of us continued to walk towards the jungle for about a half hour while Trixie was deep in contemplation.

"Trixie, by this point, the enemy has noticed you and has killed you. You lost your life, failing the mission. Now, when the invasion comes, the guard will alert the rest, and the entire army dies."

"Well, Mr Alien, what would YOU have done?" She said in an annoyed tone.

"I would have used illusion to make him see everything five feet from back, so he think he has another five feet before the ledge, when he really doesn't. He'd move to his position at the edge of the ledge, but since the real ledge is five feet back, he'd fall off and die. Then, I'd place a copy of him there so as not to alert the rest. And I would have thought of it in less than 30 seconds. It's one thing to come up with a plan, it's another to come up with a good plan, and it's something entirely different to come up with a good plan QUICKLY. That is what you'll be training. I'm may be a griffin now, but my original body was weak, slow, and didn't have any weaponry. Stealth and cunning were my specialties. You have much to learn, young grasshopper." I said the last part like Mr. Miyagi, giving a slow bow.

"Umm?" Trixie was confused.

"Don't ask." Gilda face clawed. "It's an alien inside joke or something. He pulls this crap all the time. You'll get used to it."

"Oooookaaaaaaay. So, where are we going?" The unicorn companion asked.

"Feline jungle. We're gonna kick ass, get tough, get rich, and have a blast." I replied.

'That would have been so much cooler if I had a pair of sunglasses.'

"So, Griffin, if that is your real name, how do you know that insufferable unicorn Twilight?" Trixie asked.

"Stopped in Ponyville a while back. Needed books. Couldn't buy em, so I stole em. As for how I know about you, stories get around."

"So, they're still talking about my failure in that hick town?" Trixie looked sullen.

"Don't worry about it. Given where we're headed, odds are we'll never see that place again."

"And where are we headed? That jungle can't be the final destination if you plan on taking over the world, no matter how ridiculous that sounds." She asked.

"All in due time. You'll find out eventually, when I trust you more. Oh look, we're close to the border, and we've got company."

We crouched low behind a hill, spotting a camp in the valley below. Myself and Trixie were laying low by cover, while Gilda flew high to watch our backs, in case something snuck up from behind. Looking at the shadowy figures cast by the camp fire, they were ponies, 6 of them, unknown type. Some were having a sparring match, while others worked to unload a broken cart. After Gilda made sure there wasn't anyone else around, she flew back down.

"Okay, so, we've got 6 I believe, can't tell their type. Care to confirm Gilda?"

"Seven, I spotted one in a carriage they had set up. The six that are there are all earth ponies, can't tell the one in the carriage." We had practiced given situation reports, no fluff, but all the important information.

"What would 7 ponies be doing out here, this far from town?" Trixie asked.

"Well, they might be travelers planning on entering the forest in the morning. It seems likely since if they were bandits they would have made camp IN the forest for cover, and wouldn't have made a bonfire that is, unless they have reinforcements hidden in the treeline and are trying to bait some would be bounty hunter. No. 7 is way too many for bait. They'd have no more than three or four, or else they wouldn't get any bites. 7 is way too many for any average fighter to take on. No, they must be preparing for a jungle raid. Either that, or they're noob bandits. The carriage though, it's way too fancy for bandits to have, unless they stole it."

"Noob?" Trixie didn't understand.

"Slang for newbie, as in, greenhorn, someone who has no idea what they're doing because they haven't been at it very long. In other words, you Trix." I insulted. Gilda laughed, then quickly stifled it to not alert the camp.

"Okay, so, Trixie, time for you to see how we make decisions. We assess the situation, then vote on it. You don't get a vote this time around because you're the newcomer, and you don't know how we do things. Pay attention though, eventually, when we trust you enough, we'll cut you in on it."

We all huddled together, while at the same time looking out once in a while to make sure we didn't get snuck up on.

"Okay, so, first we need to figure out who they are, they might be adventurers, in which case, they could be of use to us, trading and whatnot. Or, they are extremely foolish bandits, so we have a raiding opportunity. Or, they're merchants, and we could raid them, but then we'd have an even higher bounty. The final possibility is a V.I.P escort. We need more information on what we're dealing with before we decide. Gilda, lower a cloud and take a look from the sky, I'll sneak up close with Trix with an invisibility spell."

"I thought you said we'd vote on it?" Trixie said.

"We vote on things that have more than one option. No matter what the outcome, it would be stupid to not figure out what we're dealing with. Even if we do nothing 'bout it, if there's a wasp in the room, I wanna know where it is. Might turn out to be a honey bee, which I can follow back to the hive for a snack, savvy?" I said the whole thing in my best mimic of Jack Sparrow.

"So, first you're a martial artist, and now you're a pirate?" Trixie mocked.

"Indubitably my dear, now, let us make haste, else we risk losing our quarry." This time, with a high society British accent. She just shook her head.

"The things I get myself into."

Gilda flew overhead, hiding in a cloud, while myself and the Great and Powerful annoyance crept up on foot, hoof, claw, paw, WHATEVER! We had the invisibility spell on, her riding on my back because it was much easier to cast it on only one target, and her hooves made a lot of noise. I told her before we got close that if she said anything I would just leave her with whoever these ponies were, so, she kept her mouth shut the entire time. I still had to avoid the fire, lest they see our distortion by the fire, or a stray ember dispel the illusion. If she wanted us to get out, she would tap me with her hoof. Sneaking around, I looked in the window of the carriage and spotted a stately looking unicorn whom I recognized very well, even with a pillow over his head. We left the camp, returning to our original spot, where Gilda met us.

"Well, looks like you didn't screw up Trix, that's two in a row. Good job. It's nice to have a a lucky streak."

"What else did you expect from the Great and Powerful...." She was interrupted as Gilda grabbed her around the neck, but not too hard.

"I mean, thanks. I'm glad I didn't mess up." She corrected herself.

"See, you can teach a Trixie new tricks." I laughed.

"So, turns out Mr.Carriage is a unicorn, all professional. Any idea who it might be?" I knew exactly who it was, Prince Blueblood. As for why he slept in the carriage while the rest of the group, obviously guards, slept outside, was plain to see. Of course, I shouldn't know who the prince is, so I just played it off.

"Prince Blueblood. Wonder what he's doing all the way out here?" Trixie asked.

"Probably on some tour thing, showing himself off to all the towns. Why would he be near the jungle though?"

"I don't know of any jungle towns, but there might be one." Gilda said.

"I think it's more likely the cart broke down somewhere in the plains, so they pulled it to the nearest source of wood, being the jungle, to try and fix it."

"That doesn't make much sense, I mean, the cart is plenty big for all the stuff they had, plus the ponies. Why not just salvage the carriage to fix it?" Gilda asked.

"Because Blueblood is egotistical. He'll make ponies go way out of their way, even endangering the whole group, just to spare himself some comfort."

"Says miss ego herself. Well, odds are they're not hostile, so if we want, we could probably trade with them or something come daybreak. They most likely weren't prepared for a breakdown, so they might not have an ax, and will be trying to kick trees down to use to repair it. Ol princy won't be doing any work himself, so they'd probably be happy to have some help. Okay, so, our options."

I cleared my throat, preparing to explain what we could do.

"One, we help them out. We may not get a reward, but we just might. Having royalty on your side is always a plus, especially given that we're criminals. Influence is a good thing. They probably haven't gotten word about us having bounties, because if a courier had gotten out here, they wouldn't even be here. No downsides.

Option two, we trade with them. see what they have, let them see what we have in return, try to strike a deal for something we need. No downsides.

Option three, we sneak in under cover of night, steal what we want, then make for the forest. Upside is we can get more stuff, although we're pretty well supplied from Stalliongrad. Downside is we'd be pissing off royalty, and just as having friends in high places is good, having enemies in high places is bad, if we get caught, which at this point, I'd say is 50/50.

Option four, we attack, then we can take our time picking through the loot once they're dead. We'd be able to haul a lot more stuff with that carriage, but it would be hard to maneuver through the dense jungle. We'd also get huge bounties for murdering royalty, which is bad. We'd have all of the Equestrian military after us, maybe even the princesses themselves.

Option five, we kill the guards, taking the prince hostage for bits. We'd get a huge head start on our funding, but it would be bad, for the same reasons as option four.

Option six, we do nothing. Leave them to their fate, and continue on our journey." I explained all the things we could do.

"Killing? That's horrible! Why would we do that?" Trixie was taken aback.

"Hey, I never said we were going to, I simply made it an option. It's my job to think of ALL possibilities, even if some of them are very bad idea's. Also, just to let you know, at some point in the future, we WILL be killing. I've killed 10 diamond dogs and a dragon. There's more to come, you can bet on it. Gilda, what's your take on this?"

"Well, option one, two, three, and six. I don't much like the idea of having to put up with a snob, but we might get some influence in Equestria, which is a good thing. It wouldn't hurt to just see what they're willing to trade, even if we don't end up making a deal. They have more than enough goods, so we could just take what we need and go, but it'll be pretty hard to go unnoticed with all six of them on guard, even though they probably will go to sleep soon. We'd have to silently kill a guard or two. Or, we just ignore them. Any of those work for me."

"Well, I don't want to go around pissing off anyone with power, and we have more than we need, so I'd say stealing is off the table. Again, we have pretty much everything we need, so there really isn't any reason to trade with them, unless they have something really hard to come by, which I doubt it. So, we either leave them alone, or we help them out. Since we're undecided, I'm making the decision yours Trix. So we put up with the snob, delay our journey, and put in a hard day's work without guarantee of reward, or do we just leave them be?"

"Ehm, let's help them." Trixie said nervously. I could read her like a book.

"Let me guess, you hope that by helping the prince, you'll be able to get out of your prison sentence, then go back to your old life? Yeah, this would be a perfect way to lose the bounties we no doubt have. Well, whatever, I made it your call, so, we help them in the morning. Let's get some shut eye. I'm taking first watch with Trixie, I don't trust you enough to not just make off with all our stuff."

Morning came, me and Gilda awoke ready to start the day as soon as Celestia's sun came up. We had to kick Trixie to make her wake up.

"Geez sleepy head, we were both awake half the night, and we're up. You had a full night's sleep, and you're still groggy. We have work to do, remember?" I kicked her gently again, making her roll onto her hooves.

"Alright alright. Ugg, do you always get up this early?" She complained.

"Yes, we do. Because if we don't we'll get eaten. Or kidnapped, or arrested, or something. We wake up at dawn every day, and go to sleep past midnight. Just another thing you'll get used to. Oh look, you're awake. I don't see you practicing your spells."

"And now you're a drill sergeant. Joy." She said, wiping the sleep from her eyes with her hooves.

"First order of business, breakfast. We each get a banana. The point is not to fill yourself up, but to get enough energy to last you till lunch. You can't march on an empty stomach, but a full one makes you waddle instead. Let's go."

Jungles are full of food, so we didn't have to worry about wasting ours. We ate quickly, then headed to the camp. The carriage was a bright white, designed to be pulled by two, while the covered wagon was dull, designed for efficiency instead of glamour, also meant to be pulled by two. Finally, there were two armored ponies, clearly the convoy guards. As the three of us approached, with Trixie making herself invisible, Gilda on a cloud above, and myself coming up in plain sight, the agreed upon method of approaching uncertain targets, I was halted by the guards.

"Halt griffin!" One of them huffed.

"Oi! Ow'd you know ma name?" I said whimsically. The guards looked at each other confused, then pointed at me.

"Ah, roight. Names Griffin the griffin. Noticed you lot in in a bit of a pickle with that there broke cart. Ya need any help?" I was giving the 'Ello Guvna' accent used by peons a couple hundred years ago. It meant I wouldn't have to explain my name, if they thought I was some bumpkin.

"No, griffin, we do not require your assistance. Now, be on your way." They huffed.

"Ya shore? Ya might wanna ask da big boss is dat there fancy carriage about it. He prolly want's ta be on his way, and I think I can elp ya." I said, pointing at the carriage. Trixie had cast a spell prior, letting me and Gilda see her while she was invisible. She looked kind of like a ghost, a partly see through version of herself. She face hoofed. One of the guards went to go ask the prince, while the other moved to be directly in front of me. I just blew on my claws, nonchalantly, waiting for him to return. The prince came out of the carriage with the guard, walking directly up to me, looking me in the eyes.

"Hmph, let me guess, you're hoping for some kind of reward for your work?" The prince said, looking down on me even though I was taller than him.

"Is that a question, or an offer?" I said in my normal tone, confusing the hell out of the guards.

"Hmm, what services could a lone griffin provide?" He asked.

"Well, I can tell you need wood, otherwise you wouldn't be so close to this jungle. I can easily cut down trees with my blade, as well as make them the right size and shape to fix your cart. As for being alone..." I flicked Trixie, who's sudden appearance as the spell shattered made the prince jump back. Gilda, seeing her cue, dropped from the cloud she was on, landing next to me.

"What is this?" He asked afraid, as the guards moved to intercept the new targets.

"We're just offering some help is all. We're quite skilled. If you don't want any assistance, we could always just continue our journey into the jungle..."

"What? Why in Equestria would you WANT to go into that damned place?" He asked shocked.

"To each his own. You prefer high society, and I prefer fighting for my life in an unforgiving location. It's quite a rush."

"No, I'm afraid that we're perfectly capable of taking care of this ourselves, now, be on your way you ruffians." The prince said nervously. The guards moved closer together as he backed away.

"Fine by me. We don't want any trouble. Climb on Trix, we'll land somewhere in the jungle. Don't want to be ambushed by any cats or anything on our way......" I stopped moving. I closed my eyes, listening, feeling.

"GILDA TAKE TO THE SKIES! TRIXIE! VANISH! FIND SOMEWHERE SAFE AND DON'T MOVE!" I drew Hades, standing on my hind legs.

"What is the meaning of this drawing your weapon in the presence of the prince, You're under arr....." The guard was cut off as a net landed on him. Suddenly, he was dragged underground, screaming. Two of the worker ponies who had either been pulling the cart or chariot met the same fates, disappearing suddenly.

"What's going on!" The prince yelled, crying nervously.

"Shh, stay quiet and you'll be safe. They have sensitive ears." I whispered. He gulped as he stepped back. A small hole appeared under him, with a net springing out of it. I grabbed the net as it surrounded him, pulling up on it with both arms as I elbowed the prince out of the way. I tugged and yanked till the diamond dog on the other end popped right out of the ground. I twisted around, slicing him clean in half with my blade.

"What in the name of Celestia..." The other guard said.

"Diamond dogs. Slavers. What the hell are they doing this far south, unless they have a warren right under us. Damnit, I wasn't expecting this."

Blueblood just stared at the body of the dog, still twitching despite not having his lower half. He started to vomit. A dog appeared behind him, about to grab him and drag him down, when Gilda dropped out of the sky, grabbed him, picked him up, lifting him high into the air. A couple hundred feet up, she dropped him. I saw Trixie out of the corner of my eye, being very still and very silent, still invisible. She had a look of unrequited horror on her face as she watched the whole thing unfold.

Another dog popped up, this on receiving a swift bucking by the remaining guard. The other two earth pony workers ran over to us, making a circle. Gilda was picking off dogs as they popped up, throwing them into the air, causing them to fall to their deaths. Their 'hide underground' strategy wasn't working, so the whole lot of them popped up.

"30? Are you freaking kidding me? We're right on top of a whole nest of them!" I yelled.

"How'd they know we were here?" The guard asked.

"Vibrations. Under this dirt is solid rock. They could feel you because you're hooves make solid contact. Can't feel me because I have soft pads. Then they pop out and drag you down to work in the mines. Or eat you. Which ever." I explained, blocking a gas vial with Hades. I held my breath to not inhale the gas. It worked. The guard passed out and got dragged under.

"This isn't working! DAMNIT!" I yelled, slashing a net as it came forwards. "There's too many! You two, run your asses off. Get to town and tell them what's happened. I'm going to cover your escape. Gilda, grab the prince and get him to safety! I'll take care of Trix!" The two earth ponies headed off, running for their lives, me clearing a path for them with my blade. Gilda swooped down and grabbed Blueblood, as I slashed a net that would have snagged both of them. She then headed off to Stalliongrad as fast as she could go. Trixie was standing perfectly still by a tree, still invisible.

"Wait griffin!" Blueblood cried as he was lifted into the air.

"Aw, don't tell me the little baby is afraid of heights." Gilda mocked. "And the name's Gilda, remember it!"

"No, I live in Canterlot Castle, I've been looking down from on high for a while. What about your compatriots, and my guards and servants? Are we just abandoning them?" He looked worried.

"No, you don't know Griffin. He's had a shitty life, been kept down. Then again, so have I, but him, he's different somehow. He never said in detail. First he's normal, whimsical even, playing pranks and whatnot. He spoke like a country bumpkin to your guards and normally to you just for kicks. Then, he get's mad. When he gets mad...... Did you see his weapon? It's made from the scale of an 80 foot tall dragon. He killed it. He ripped it's scale off with his bare claws, getting all cut up, flew down it's throat while getting scorched, then killed it from the inside. I watched him do it. When he came out, he had a maniac look in his eye. Afterwards, he acted like it was nothing. He asked me why dragon blood tasted sour. He's a berserker. It's like he has an entire lifetime of unrelenting rage that he couldn't let out, and now he can. All I can say is, if he's about to do what I think he's about to do, I pity those diamond dogs. Coming from a griffin, that's saying something."

Flying into the air, since I no longer had to worry about the ground crew, I slashed net after net with Hades. They couldn't bring me down. I flew higher than the dogs could throw their chemicals. I put my sword on my back and drew my bow.

"Remember. Remember. Hold it on an angle. Breathe out. Draw it all the way, fletching just next to your cheek. Breathe in. Hold, and let go."

*Whoooosh*

*Thunk*

"Boom headshot! Ya like that ya damn dog! Yer a hell hound now!" I laughed. I let loose a couple more arrows, picking off six of the unarmored dogs before the rest, no longer able to get at me, fled underground. I grabbed Trixie, dispelling her invisibility, and flew atop the carriage.

"Here you are Trixie. Take some arrows. They can't feel your vibrations up here. Cast invisibility on yourself, but not the arrows. Then send them straight into the dogs while keeping yourself hidden. I'm going to make a ruckus to bring them back up. You pick them off while I play a little whack a mole. I'm gonna have to trust you here. We could just escape, but dogs happen to have valuables. Last I checked, valuables are valuable, and I LIKE money. We'll kill as many as we can, then take whatever we can use and sell the rest."

"But, that's murder!" She said quietly, trying to not attract attention.

"Yeah, but they're trying to kill us too. Or capture us, and make us spend the rest of their lives as slaves, digging up gems for them. They're criminals. We'd be doing this world a favour. Let's not forget how they tried to kidnap the prince, and succeeded in taking both his guards, as well as two innocent servants. They're dangerous, and we'll DEFINITELY get a reward for taking care of them, especially since we saved the prince. This is your test. If you can do it, we'll walk away heroes, a whole lot richer, and you'll be able to stick with us. If you can't, I'll either die or be made a slave, as will you, since I'm your ride out of here."

"Then why don't we just leave?" She asked.

"Because it's not your choice rookie, it's mine."

Dear Princess Celestia,
How do ponies hold things when they don't have fingers?

Sincerely, Griffin.

So, can Trixie really kill? What's going to happen to the captured ponies? Well, don't ask me! Just read the next chapter!

Freedom (13)

Freedom

"Well, I hope you have a strong stomach. Just focus on making the arrows hit them in the head or chest. Wounding them isn't enough, you want to go for the kill. Also, keep up the invisibility or they'll catch you, and make the arrows come from angles other then where you're standing."

"You want me to do that all at the same time?" Trixie looked like I had just told her to move the sun itself.

'Oh wait, unicorns CAN move the sun, they just passed that job to Celestia since she's better at it.'

"Yep, it's gonna be tough. This is why I wanted you to practice your magic nonstop, because we're going to be doing shit like this ALL THE TIME.

"I can't, it's just too much, all at once." She said, looking sullen.

"Okay, then, instead, just focus on the leaders."

"What?"

"Diamond dog leaders carry special chemicals, some explosives, some knockout gas. If you see one with a bunch of glass vials, those are your targets. I can handle the rest of them, I just have trouble with specialists. If you see one of them throw something, just grab what he threw and toss it back at his face okay? You should be able to do that while staying invisible, and you wouldn't be killing anyone. Think you can handle that?"

Trixie gulped. "I, I think so." She stammered.

"Good enough for me! Okay, let's do this!"

I jumped down and began stamping around, nodding to Trixie as she went invisible again. Nothing.

"Come and get me ya mongrels! Aw, what's the matter? Ran home with your tail between your legs? Afraid of the big, strong griffin? Am I too macho for ya?" I taunted. Still nothing.

'They must not be able to hear me. How can I make more vibrations?'

I hefted Hades up, took to the sky, then dove straight at the ground, smacking it with the flat. I could feel the vibrations all up my arm. I stopped for a moment, feeling the ground. Some vibrations echoed my own. I jumped out of the way, doing a somersault with blade extended, cleaving the head of the dog that popped up under me in two. I landed hard on my side, or purpose, to make myself give off more signals. Darting out of the way, I watched a small shuffle in the dirt, bringing the flat of Hades down on it just as the dog's head popped up, killing it with the impact. Another five fell before I saw dirt shuffling all around me. The dogs appeared once again above ground.

"Ha, stupid bird, you should have flown away. Do you think you can fight all of us on your own? We have more nets! You can't escape any more!" One of the leaders said in a high but gravely voice. If only they could see the look on my face. I didn't care how many there were. I didn't see enemies, I saw targets. So many valuable things to be had. All I had to do was kill them. They were just some dumb dogs anyway.

'Damnit, I need a good one liner. Oh wait, I know!'

"Sit. Stay. Roll over. Play dead." I said the last one with malice. One of them got pissed off and charged. I just punched him, knocking him to the ground. After ripping his windpipe out, I looked at the rest of the group that had surrounded me.

"Next."

"Well, here we are princy, Stalliongrad. I'm gonna split. See ya around, or not. What ever." Gilda said to Blueblood, dropping him off.

"Wait, where are you going?" He called to her as she began to fly away.

"Back to my team, I gotta make sure Grif doesn't get himself killed, and Trixie is way too pathetic to handle herself." She replied.

"So soon? I mean, you just flew both of us all the way here, at least rest a bit." He offered.

"No, you see, we're kind of criminals, so I can't really stay in town too long." She said before she began to fly off.

"Then, you were planning on raiding us?" He asked. She stopped to answer.

"Nope, we really were going to help out. We decided together what would be best."

"Why'd you help? If you're bandits, or criminals, on the run, then why'd you fight to protect me?" He said curious.

"Cuz we felt like it. That, and we hate diamond dogs. Don't like it? Deal with it." Gilda shot back before flying off. She was already gone so she didn't hear Blueblood yell 'Thank you'.

"Criminals? I wonder what their bounties are?" Blueblood walked into the prison and looked at the wanted board. As the city has high crime, everyone who passes through has their picture taken as a standard procedure, although those who enter the city aren't aware of it.

"Ah, here they are. Wanted ALIVE, Trixie the unicorn, wanted for jewelry theft, theft of government property, and prison escape, 40 bits. Gilda the griffin, wanted for assault of an officer, resisting arrest, theft of government property, and prison escape, 60 bits. (Unknown) the griffin, Wanted for assault of an officer, resisting arrest, possession of a deadly weapon, assault with a deadly weapon, assisting in prison escape, disturbing the peace, and theft of government property, 120 bits. Believed to be traveling together, they are highly dangerous, as well as cunning. While they did attack guards, their attacks did not result in death or any permanent injury, and are believed to be acts of self defense." He read with a look of shock on his face, replaced by a look of satisfaction.

"Well well, looks like they had a spot of trouble in town. Should I give them amnesty for their actions? Hmm, no, that's the princess's call, not mine, and they almost seem like the kind who'd be happy with their faces plastered in every town. Looks like they're wanted alive. I should keep track of them. I owe those glorious ruffians a debt of gratitude, the least I can do is make sure the wanted posters stay at wanting them 'alive' only. Oh, and have auntie send some soldiers to rescue my servants and guards. Can't have them living out the rest of their lives in some mud hole.

"What's the matter mutts? I'm just one griffin. I thought you all like capturing us, I mean, you trained for that right?" I laughed as I stood atop the corpses of about 12 dead dogs. Two of their leaders had been knocked out by gas due to the interference of my invisible unicorn friend.

"You are no mere griffin! You are DEMON! All our blades shattered! All our nets, slashed! All our spears fall short, and all our vials blow up in our faces! You are cursed bird!" One of the leaders shrieked, clutching a fresh stump.

"Know that I who have tasted the meat and blood of dragons show no mercy to those who oppose me! My blade hungers, and you are it's fill!" I think I'll just milk the whole cursed thing for what it's worth.

"Meat and blood of dragons? It cannot be!" One of them yelled in fear.

"His blade! After hewing his foes, it has no flaw, it's has no stain! It is dragon scale! He speaks true!" Another one said with fear.

"Silence, he cannot be the one of prophecy, he is griffin!" Another argued. I just stood there, listening to them fight amongst themselves and I shot one in the back.

"You know, when you're fighting someone, you really ought to pay attention to them. Especially if they have the spirits fighting for them."

"Bah, ghosts do not exist! They are old pony tale!" One of them grabbed a vial, only to have it explode in his hand, blowing it off. He cried in pain, only to be silenced by another arrow from me.

"What do you want from us!" One of the remaining 10 asked. This one was uninjured.

"I want the release of all the slaves you have, not just today, but of all time. Every single one who is working against their free will shall be brought before me, and you will never take another into slavery. I want them brought to me. If you try and hold back, I'll know, and I'll take one life for every slave you tried to keep from me. I will go underground to hunt you down if need be. I also want all the gems you are carrying, as well as the vials. Give me what I want, and I will spare your lives."

The three still living leaders discussed it amongst themselves. There were several barks, yips, and growls.

"Fine. We will release the slaves, and give you some gems and vials in return for sparing our lives. Go!" One of them motioned to the remaining dogs, who dug their way underground.

"You are lucky we do not have alpha, or or you would have been slain on the spot, worthless bird!" He spat in my face.

"You are lucky that I agreed to spare your lives, or YOU would have been slain on the spot, worthless mutt." I spat right back at him. "Go bury your dead and tend your wounded, I think enough blood has been shed today. Just remember the name Griffin, because one day, you'll only be able to say it with the title 'King' in front. Oh, and fix that damn cart. Having something broken like that pisses me off."

The dogs pulled the four ponies they took, being the two pegasus guards, the earth pony workers, as well as two very tired, scared, and dirty unicorns, two pegasi in similar states, and two naked diamond dogs, from the ground. They were all wearing chains. They placed them in front of a small pile of gems. The chemical vials I had already stored safely in special holders the dogs had given me, putting them in my backpack. The slaves looked very afraid, but also squinted their eyes against the sun they hadn't seen in so long. When they saw me, carrying a blade and covered in blood, their eyes shrank.

"Give me the keys." The dog did as he was asked. All they could see was my dark blade reflecting the setting sun. I looked to the cart, it had been repaired. One of the unicorn looked at me and began to cry.

"So, this is it? You have no more need for us, so you're sacrificing us to appease this demon griffin to save your own hides? You're despicable!" Then she simply resigned herself to her fate. She figured I was going to eat them or something.

"Dogs, I suggest you find a new home, because I am fairly certain that Prince Blueblood will be coming back here with an army to wipe you out. I told you I'd spare your lives, which I shall, since you have held your part of the bargain. The royal army however, will not. I have no control over them, and they are also coming for me." I said. The diamond dogs whimpered, ears pressed against their heads, as they dug back underground to tell the remnant of their troupe to high tail it out of there.

"Demon Griffin? Sacrifice? Why yes, I suppose that's correct. They have given you to me, and now you are mine to do with as I please."

Gilda flew down and landed next to me. She didn't say anything, she didn't want to ruin the moment.

"What are you going to do? Eat us? You blasted bird! I hope you rot in Tartarus for this." A pegasus stallion raged.

"Why no, I'm letting you go." Really? They thought I was going to eat them because I'm a griffin? Why is everyone is Equestria so racist?

"Um, what?" They asked.

"He's letting you go morons. It just so happens that he's a patron to those who suffer in slavery. So he had them get you out. I hope you all remember this. Friggin ponies, I swear...." She began muttering at the end.

"Hey Trix, the dogs are gone, you can come out." Trixie appeared on the top of the carriage, looking really upset. She slowly walked past the pile of bodies, looking like she was going to be sick. I looked away from the corpses. It's never good, looking at death. I was just more used to seeing blood because I had coughed up way too much of my own. I actually used to be squeamish, but I got used to it. Gilda walked by, letting everyone but the pair of slave diamond dogs go.

"Hey Trixie, how'd you learn to move things with magic without having a visible magic aura around it?"

"I'm not sure, I think my invisibility covers things I affect with my magic too. As long as I release the field before the thing I'm holding touches something, I don't pop back up. I actually went visible a couple times briefly when I hit them with the vials, but I quickly put the spell back on." The unicorn explained.

"Well, good. This is the third time in a row you didn't screw up, and because of that, not only were you effective in combat, but the added fear factor made those dogs think I'm some kind of evil spirit. That, and you learned a new trick. You see? Your first real fight, and you're already WAY beyond what you were." Trixie blushed at the compliment. She was unused to getting a real compliment, and not just acceptance of boasting. She actually did something right, and it felt good, and a lot better about having just assisted in causing the death of a bunch of diamond dogs.

'Well, she's easily corruptible.'

"Geez hotshot, you made a mess around here." Gilda finally spoke up after releasing the ponies and spotting the pile of bodies. "I'm guessing Trix didn't suck?"

"Yeah, she actually proved useful. I'm glad you decided to take her with. If she's not boasting, lying through her teeth, or trying to swell her ego, she can get stuff done. You did real good today. Because of you, not only do we have a load of gems for bits and vials for weapons, but 8 pony slaves get to go home to their families." She smiled a warm smile. She had been an instrument in the murder of over 20 diamond dogs, but she had saved 8 ponies, ponies with friends, loved ones, jobs.

"As for you lame ponies, I suggest you go to Stalliongrad. Prince Blueblood is there, tell him what happened here today, and that he is to take care of you and help you find your way home. If he asks why, tell him that Gilda of the Griffin Pirates sent you, and is calling his debt. The city is that way. If you meet a bunch of guard ponies, tell them to take you to him." Gilda instructed.

"Pegasi, you have been out of the skies for far too long, stretch your wings and take flight! Guide your fellows to the city, and deliver these letters to the prince. Do not open them, and tell him that they are for the princesses. They contain very important information. This is the price of your freedom. Earth ponies and unicorns, as well as you guards, load up the carts and take them to the city. I think the prince will be missing his carriage." I smirked.

The former slaves began crying out of joy. It was too good to be true. They were finally free. They could go home.

"What is your name?" An older unicorn asked.

"I'm Griffin, and that's all you need to know." I said with a scowl.

"I've been in that mine for the past five years. I missed the birth of my grand daughter. I gave up hope on ever getting out, ever seeing Celestia's bright sun again. Because of you, I'm free, I can go home to my family, retire, live happily. I can't thank you enough." He said in the classic grandpa voice.

"You will have thanked me enough if you stop talking. I hate all that sentimental crap. Get your wrinkly old carcass out of here, ya old coot." They loaded up the cart and carriage, guided by the pegasi, heading towards Stalliongrad and safety. "By the way did they really release all the slaves?"

"Yuppers, they were mite scared of you young'un, and with good reason." Even though I insulted him, he just smiled and went on his way.

"Griffin Pirates? Where'd you come up with that?" I asked, now that we were alone.

"I um, just thought it was catchy?" Gilda shrank.

"Well, it is catchy. Alright, I guess we're the Griffin Pirates now. Ahoy matees, avast ye scurvy landlubber!"

"Oh great, he's a pirate again." Trixie scowled.

"Oh come on, it's just a bit of fun."

"By the way, where'd you learn to fight like that?" She asked.

"Told ya, I'm an alien. This body is slower than my old one, and not nearly as nimble. I got into a lot of fights, all of them vs bipedal creatures like the dogs, so I know how they move. I could see how they were going to strike before they did it, meaning I could dodge pretty easy. Still got a couple scratches, but no big deal. They should have put poison on those spears. Idiots."

"So, what about them?" Gilda asked me, pointing at the diamond dogs.

"Hmm, well, first we need to have an initiation." I hefted Hades, putting it to each side of Trixie's head, before putting in back in it's sheath.

"I had my blade right next to your head, but you didn't look at it, you looked at me. Means you trust me with your life. I see no reason not to do the same. Congrats, you're officially a member of the Griffin Pirates. You get voting privileges. Now, let me see. Option one, we kill the dogs, although we don't get anything from it other than sadistic satisfaction. Number two, we let them go. Number three, we make them part of our merry little crew. Number four, we leave them here in chains. Gilda, you get to narrow the options down first, and Trix get's to pick from what you leave behind."

"Works for me." Gilda and Trixie said.

"Okay, well, they were slaves, so they're probably not to impressed with their own kind, and they'd be quite happy with us for saving them. They'd probably like to join us. If they refuse that we could do any of the other three."

"Okay, so we ask them to join us, if they refuse, what do we do Trix?" She thought about it for a moment.

"If they refuse, we let them go. Killing them is pointless, and leaving them in chains is just cruel." Once we had decided amongst ourselves, I walked over to the pair of clearly afraid diamond dogs.

"Here's the deal ya scoundrels, I wanna know why you were slaves."

"We, we were taken. There was a fight between alphas a long time ago. Our's lost. We were taken to unfamiliar mines in Gem Fido. The alpha wanted to expand, so he sent us and some of the other slaves under pony land to kitty cat jungle to work in mines there. Tunnel goes all the way under country, comes up in bottom of mine. We send gems back through tunnel."

"Is that so? That is very interesting. Most likely they're going to fill the tunnel in so the royal guard doesn't find it and follow it back. By the way, did they release ALL the slaves?"

"Yes, they did." The other one said in a low tone. Plain and straight to the point.

"What about the prophecy? The leader said something about the prophecy."

"There is an old tale, the tale of the wolf. We are but dogs, he is a noble beast. He would slay dragons and free the diamond dogs from their wrath. It is said that he would come again as a conqueror and unite the dog packs, but you are not him. You are a griffin."

"You know, it's kind of funny, I was actually planning on taking over Gem Fido. You know something? FUCK your prophecy. I don't see some mystical diamond wolf anywhere, so I'm gonna beat him to the punch. You have two options, you follow me, do what I say, and get to be high council members when I take over the whole damn world, or you go home, believe your stupid superstitions, and die when I topple the whole system. Your choice."

'I would look so much more badass with a pair of sunglasses. Too bad I'd just break em. I'm really getting good at these speeches.

"We will follow you. You may not be the chosen one, but following you leads the promise of a better life. You are strong. We will become part of your group of bandits. Besides, we no longer have a home to go to." They replied.

"Good, just to let you know, we don't trust you, not even slightly. If you want to get anywhere, you gotta earn the trust. We make the decisions, you just follow them. If I want your advice, I'll ask for it. Got it?"

The dogs nodded. I unchained them, half expecting them to run or attack us. They did not.

"Alright we're headed to the jungle. Newbloods, pack up. I don't care what your names are, those are your slave names. I'll give you a new name when you've earned it. For now, you are newbloods. I wanna get out of here before the army shows up. Having a bounty isn't good when you're surrounded by military."

Dear Princess Luna,
How do magnets work?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Well now, they've become five. Will the dogs be loyal? Any questions you have regarding these chapters, post them in the comments and I'll get to them in a later chapter. Also, next chapter is going to be short, but funny as well. I'll give you a hint, it has to do with something Grif said to the pegasi.

Letters (14)

Letters

As the convoy of freed pegasi, earth ponies, unicorns, and royal guards reached the squad of army ponies headed to the dog warren, they bowed seeing Princess Luna leading the troupe. Having attacked the royal family was a serious crime, and since the dogs had taken slaves within Equestrian borders, the princess herself went into action. Blueblood was riding with them, showing the group where he had been attacked.

"Guard? What is the meaning of this? Why are you here?" The prince asked.

"We, along with the other's who were taken, and several other slaves, were released by the diamond dogs who had taken us captive." The guard answered.

"Care to elaborate?" Luna said with her old equestrian lingo.

"The griffins sir, and a unicorn. They fought and slew over 25 diamond dogs. The warren had about a total of 60, with 10 surviving fighters and 25 non combatants still underground." He reported.

"Ah, then they fell rescuing you?" The moon princess asked.

"No ma'am, after having their numbers decimated, they surrendered. The self proclaimed 'Griffin Pirates' offered leniency, sparing their lives in return for the release of all slaves, as well as a fairly large number of gems, and some of the chemical weapons that the dogs used. The leaders accepted the terms, and by his advice, abandoned their den. They are most likely headed back to Gem Fido, collapsing the tunnel as they go. They were afraid of the leader, 'Griffin' the griffin, who the dogs claimed was some kind of devil bird and whispered about prophecy."

"Griffin Pirates? Equestria has not known pirates in over 400 years, the last of them being captured and imprisoned by my sister during my banishment. Piracy is a very serious crime." Luna said with a scowl.

"Ah yes, you are Prince Blueblood I assume?" The elderly stallion asked.

"Why, yes I am." He replied.

"Gilda of the Griffin Pirates told us that you would take care of us, something about she was calling your debt to them." He said.

"You are indebted to a band of pirates?" Luna asked the nervous prince.

"Well, I had not known them to be pirates at the time, in fact, it sound like something they just made up on the fly... but yes. Their group offered assistance in repairing the broken cart, which we declined. Upon being attacked by diamond dogs, they defended us, and cut a path through them for two of my servants to escape, then the griffin hen, Gilda, flew me all the way to Stalliongrad, dropped me off, then headed back to help in the fight. Apparently, they had a run in at the city and are criminals. Here are their wanted posters." The prince passed the papers to Luna.

"Trixe Lulamoon, unicorn, Gilda Oro, griffin, (unknown), griffin. You said that his name was Griffin? Griffin the griffin? That's rather ironic. Total bounty 220 bits? That's not very much. We should make haste to the place of battle. You four, take the prince, his cart and carriage back to the city, I wish to see the location of the fight for myself."

"Princess, Griffin also wanted us to deliver these letters to you and your sister, to be opened in private, in the presence of both of you. He claimed they contained extremely important information." The pegasus carrying the letters said. The princess took them and tucked them away in her cart before they continued.

"Those are, two griffins, heading to the jungle?" Luna said as she looked into the distance, spotting the pair.

"We must be close." As they arrived at the scene, they saw over 25 bamboo crosses, each with a piece of clothing, armor, or weapon resting on it, and a small mound of freshly dug dirt in front.

"Graves?" Luna said quizzically, her hoof touching earth that had been stained red, and recalling it immediately.

"I must know what happened here." She closed her eyes, casting a spell to relive the past 12 hours in the area at high speed. After it was done, her eyes opened in shock and horror. While she wouldn't be able to hear the voices, she could see everything that had occurred, and it wasn't pretty. She felt weak, partly from having to cast a spell allowing her to see across the expanse of time, but mostly from the grisly sight she had witnessed. Watching the attack, the impromptu defense by the trio, then the slaughter.

"How, how did he know? It's like he knew they were coming, like he knew how they were fighting. He was calm and came up with a sound plan, then became like a madmare when he fought. He taunted them, drove them crazy with fear..... no wonder they thought he was an evil spirit. The look in his eye. While they may have committed crimes, these dogs were living in Equestria. There was no need for such wanton death. He's dangerous. He needs to be captured at all costs. He's too far away by now for us to catch him. I need to get back to Canterlot and show sister what I've seen, as well as take these letters. The rest of you, head to Stalliongrad for some well deserved rest."

'He killed them all mercilessly, and while they did attack him first, afterwards, he drew them to him on purpose so he could wipe them out. He showed absolute disdain for their kind, yet then he showed mercy, and took the two dog slaves with him, of their own free will. He buried the dead when the dogs left their fallen family members to rot in the sun. He shows respect for the dead, and an understanding of the value of life, but then he'll completely disregard those traits when it suits him, casually butchering his enemies and laughing in their faces. What kind of life creates somepony like him? Maybe the letters will give some insights.'

"Why hello sister, how was your trip?" Celestia asked.

"It was... eventful." Luna replied. Casting a spell to share her memories, Celestia was horrified at what had happened, but at the same time, relieved that the prince, as well as her precious ponies, were safe.

"They've started calling themselves the 'Griffin Pirates', but it's strange, rather than raiding or pillaging, they instead simply do whatever they feel like, helping or hurting based on a whim, or whatever they need. The reason they decided to rescue the prince was not because they were helping a fellow equestrian, but because they wanted to spite his potential kidnappers. Their motives are completely unknown. Perhaps these letters will provide some insight into who they are and what they want. I was told they were extremely important and highly classified, only to be opened with the two of us present. I wonder what they could be?" Luna asked.

"Well, there's only one way to find out. Let's open them. It is not often I get mail from somepony other than Twilight."

"It seems the first one is addressed to me. Dear Princess Luna, is the moon made of cheese? Sincerely, Griffin. What kind of nonsense is that?"

"Well, at one point, somepony looked at the moon. He saw it was full of craters, making it full of holes, like Swiss cheese. Many a children's story contain either you or myself taking a bite out of it. As for why this is important and highly classified, I have no clue." Celestia explained.

"Oh, here's one for you sister." Luna said as she magically passed the next letter.

"Alright, Dear Princess Celestia, What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Sincerely, Griffin. Is he going to do nothing but taunt us with ridiculous questions? He didn't even specify whether it was and Equestrian or Zebrican swallow. The swallows of the zebra isles fly slower than their land bound cousins because they need to conserve their strength for the flight over water."

"How do you know so much about swallows sister?" Luna asked.

"A ruler needs to know these kinds of things. Alright, next letter, ah, one for you Luna." Celestia replied.

"Dear Princess Luna, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Sincerely, Griffin. What is a wood chuck, and why wouldst it throw lumber? And why dost he desire to know the quantity of lumber which it wouldst be capable of making airborne? This is confusing, yet, comical as well. Never mind, next letter." Luna said, starting to slip into ye old speak, something she only did when she was disturbed by something.

"Dear Princess Celestia, When is a door not a door? Sincerely, Griffin. Now he has taken to riddles? When is a door not a door? That's a paradox, if it's not a door anymore, then it's not a door. How can it be a door and not at the same time? You said that the leader of the Griffin Pirates, who mercilessly slaughtered 25 diamond dogs slavers, wrote these letters? It's as if he was born specifically with the sole purpose of vexing us. This is nonsense, we should just throw all these letters into the fireplace!" The sun princess exclaimed.

"What if one of them really does have important information, or perhaps there is a code hidden within the passages, some message hidden within the messages? He specifically instructed the courier not to open them, and that they were for our eyes only, and we BOTH had to be present at their opening. There must be a reason. Writing in this manner very well could be a security measure he devised. Judging by his look, he seems to be a mastermind, balanced with being a berserker at the same time. We don't have a choice, we HAVE to read them." Luna theorized.

"And you know what, if we do read them, and they're pointless, then we've just fallen for his little prank, but if we don't read them, and they're important, then we are fools. You are correct sister, and, they are rather humorous, a nice contrast to the constant reports, manuscripts, files, and endless stacks of paperwork that get dumped on us." Celestria replied.

Dear Princess Celestia,
How do ponies hold things when they don't have fingers?

Sincerely, Griffin.

They read the next one together.

"Um...." Luna looked at her sister.

"Don't look at me, I've always used magic."

"So wait, we're the rulers of Equestria, and NEITHER of us know how pegasi and earth ponies pick things up with their hooves?" The younger asked.

"Shouldn't this be common knowledge? How can we not know that?" The older exclaimed. Celestia took out a scroll, inkwell, and quill, transcribing the letter.

Dear my faithful student Twilight,
How do ponies hold things when they don't have fingers?

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

"Sister, what are you..." Luna was cut off.

"There, that's taken care of. It's not like I can ask the scientific institute, I'd be a laughing stock! Next letter!" She proclaimed, eager to change the subject from their lack of knowledge on what should be a basic topic.

Dear Princess Luna,
How do magnets work?

Sincerely, Griffin.

The sun and moon princesses looked at each other for a moment, carefully looking at the letter over and over, realizing they had no knowledge on that subject either.

"Erm, ask Twilight?" Luna suggested.

"Ask Twilight." Celestia answered, taking out another scroll.

Dear Griffin,

The moon is made of stone, specify the type of swallow, a door is always a door, even if it's ajar. We refuse to answer the final two questions, because that information is integral to Equestrian life, and should not be given to pirates. What are you planning? What are your motives? What is your goal?

Sincerely, Princesses Celestia and Luna

Celestia cast a spell to make the scroll find whoever it was addressed to, causing Griffin to belch up the letter.

"Did you just breathe fire?" Gilda asked.

"I have no freaking idea. I saw Twilight's little dragon, Spike, do that once when Celestia sent him a letter. Maybe it's because I ate dragon meat or something?" I was genuinely confused.

"I don't know, NOTHING you do makes sense." Trixie retorted, looking at the scroll on the ground. "Well, gonna open it?"

Opening the letter, reading it aloud, we all rolled over, laughing in our current camp. The fact that the princesses tried to pass how ponies pick things up, as well as how magnets work, as 'classified' meant that they didn't know. The fact that Celestia asked what type of swallow was particularly hilarious to me, to which I replied, 'It's a human joke, and for some reason, she actually got it.'

We had set it up in the trees, bending several of them, cutting off pieces of others, making a bonafide treehouse. Of course, we'd have to lift Trixie and the dogs up into it, but at this point, I was used to having her ride on my back. Strangely, I didn't mind being ridden by a pony, something my kind is used to riding. It actually felt.... right.... for some reason. Gilda however did mind, and lifted the dogs by the scruff of their necks.

"Since we're up high, we don't have to worry about getting attacked by something from below, and we know for a fact that these newbloods aren't going to bugger off or gut us, since they'd have no way down, other than to fall to their deaths. There are definitely benefits to being the only ones with wings."

"And you were the one to figure out to use it for the best advantage. You really aren't a griffin are you?" Trixie asked.

"And she FINALLY get's it. I'm an alien in disguise. Yes, you heard me right mutts, ALIEN, as in, from a different world. In fact, I'm from a completely different universe. My old body was actually a lot like you two, except no hair, no muzzle, no tail, different ears, and no claws or fangs. That's how I knew how to fight them."

The pair of dogs looked at me confused, but they didn't dare laugh, mostly because they were afraid of me. They just stared. I looked back at them, sticking out my tongue and pulling my one eyelid down with a claw.

"Whatever, not our place to judge." They stated.

"Seriously? Are you a foal or something? You're acting awfully childish." Trixie said.

"Only young at heart. When you're miserable all the time, you either let it get to you, or you cope with it. This is how I cope with it."

"Honestly, he's like that lame pony Pinkie Pie. Only reason I'm sticking with him is because he saved my feathers, and I've seen what he can do when he's NOT acting like a foal." Gilda said with a scowl.

"That, and you think I'm hot." I smiled stupidly, getting slugged in the side of the head. I just got back up laughing.

"She only hurts the ones she likes." Trixie laughed. Gilda just blushed. The dogs were confused.

"So wait, is she leader now?"

"Nope, it's still me."

"But, she beat you."

"Yeah, but neither of us were trying. She kicks my ass in sparring all the time. Time for bow training!" And so, Grif set about teaching Gilda and the two diamond dogs archery. The dogs, being bipedal, were much better suited to it, although Gilda picked it up quickly, holding the arrow and string in her beak, then bringing her right arm forward to draw the bow instead of pulling her head back. Having such good eyesight meant she could hit targets at long range, while the dogs could not shoot as far, but could do so more often. Trixie practiced casting illusions on the dogs, making them fight each other, cower in fear, become peaceful, or walk into walls. They weren't too impressed with it, but they figured they'd have to put up with some crap being the newbies, and it was better than being a slave. For archery, several targets were painted on the various trees surrounding the camp. After exhausting their ammo supply, the griffin pair would retrieve the arrows, letting them try again. Finally, after gathering some bananas and other tropical fruits from the surrounding trees, (also much easier for the fliers) they had dinner and fell asleep in hammocks woven from jungle vines, the wanted posters showing who had claimed each.

Wanted Alive, Griffin Pirates, total bounty, 580 bits. Gilda the griffin, 200 bits, Trixie the unicorn, 120 bits, Griffin the griffin, 260 bits. Last known location, Equestria-Jungle border.

Alright, so they made it to the jungle, got a letter from the princesses, and had a bit of craziness. They also got wanted posters with higher bounties on them.

Preparation (15)

Preparation

"Well, now that we've had our fun tormenting the princesses, you all get to practicing again. I'm gonna do some egghead stuff."

"Right, those books you stole from the insufferable Twilight Sparkle. Oh, how I would have liked to see the look on her face." Trixie stated.

While only unicorns are capable of conscious magic, various other races have passive magic abilities. The earth ponies have magic that aids in healing and growth, both of plants, animals, and other ponies as well. Pegasi and griffins are able to manipulate weather phenomena, cockatri are able to petrify with a stare. These are all examples of passive magic. Dragon breath is also a form of magic, although not passive, also does not require a conscious effort and is as natural as breathing. This separates the three types of magic into Channeled, passive, and active. Channeled being unicorn spells, passive being walking on clouds, and active being manipulating clouds into rain or lightning. I read aloud.

"You don't say?" Gilda looked at me sarcastically.

"Hey, it may be common sense to you, but to someone from another reality, this is all new." Not exactly a lie, as I had never dealt with it first hand.

Conscious magic requires a focus. Unicorns have their horns, which act as a focal point for their magic, stemming from their souls. Each horn is attuned perfectly to the unicorn it belongs to, and as such, no other creature with magical prowess is able to use a horn that is not their own for a focus. However, in the circumstance of a unicorn having a broken horn, in the past, flawless gemstones cut to a point were used as a replacement.

"Ah ha, now, there's something interesting. Hmm, I wonder if it's possible for non unicorns to use magic if they have a focus?"

I took out a small gemstone that had been shaped, then focused on it. It seemed to shimmer slightly, then it passed.

"As I thought, non unicorns just don't have enough oomph to make anything happen. I wonder if my human form could? No point worrying about it now."

"Hey Gilda, remember when that pegasus thought I was going to eat him? He told me to rot in Tartarus. What did he mean by that?" I asked.

"Beats me. Probably the pony equivalent of go to hell." Gilda replied.

"If you must know, Tartarus is the underworld. It serves as a prison for all the most evil creatures in the world after they die, and is guarded by Cerberus to make sure none of them get out." Trixie said with a know it all tone. Gilda looked at me strangely.

"Cerberus, as in, the three headed hound Cerberus?" Trixie nodded.

"Yes, that one. If you are an alien, how did you know?" She asked.

"Well, Gilda, remember when I told you about Hades, why I named my sword that?"

"Yeah........."

"Well, in Greek mythos, Hades is the underworld, guarded by Cerberus, and Tartarus is a prison within Hades. When anyone dies, if they were good, they'd go to a beautiful garden within, if they were bad, they'd go somewhere in the rest of Hades, be it the lake of fire, river of blood, bone pillars, or a hundred other horrors. And if they were REALLY bad, they'd go to Tartarus. I think the Greek mythology of my world, at least the underworld part of it, is based on your world." I explained.

"Which means?" Gilda didn't get it.

"All the legends of pegasi, unicorns, cockatri, basilisks, manticores, Cerberus, it all matches this world exactly. My dimension doesn't have any of those things, so where'd we get the legends?"

"You got them from here......" Trixie suddenly caught on. "Which means that our worlds were connected at one point, and if you came here, they are once again."

"Okay Trix, I want you to cast an illusion on me. Now, before, when I gave you examples, they were pretty far fetched, and would only work on a pretty stupid opponent. Suddenly being hungry and food where a bottomless chasm used to be isn't very convincing. I want you to cast an illusion on me. I'll know it's an illusion, so I'll be expecting it. If you can fool me, you'll have succeeded in that aspect of your training. Remember, subtlety. I have to think it's real."

Her horn glowed, my vision flickered, and nothing happened.

"Um, Trix? You gonna do this or wha.... oh you clever devil. Good, that's the first thing. Don't just change something, have the illusion mimic real life and THEN change something. Now, let's see if you can make the change believable."

The illusionary Trixie smiled at my praises, then ran over to me, snatching my sword. darting away with it. She held it in her mouth, bringing it up.

"Oh ha ha, very funny. I know it's still there." I said, reaching for it. Of course I couldn't feel it on my back. "Good, you remembered to kill the sense of touch as well. You've definitely improved this past week."

She smiled with the blade in her mouth, before swinging it at me. It missed by a wide margin. Then she said,

"You're dead." I pondered what she meant. My vision flickered again, and I saw her standing there, holding my sword in her mouth, holding it up with magic.

"Wait, what?" I was totally confused.

"You said you knew it was an illusion. So I showed you exactly what was actually happening. That way, I didn't actually use an illusion, but you thought I did. Because of it, you let your guard down...."

"And you managed to steal my sword. You cocky little....... No, that's not the right emotion. I'm impressed. You got me. If you had been trying to kill me, I'd be dead right now. You passed." As I spoke, she floated the sword back to me.

"Using levitation on a magic resistant object, in conjunction with a full world illusion, that must take a lot out of you. I'm surprised you pulled it off. So tell me, how does success taste? Better than false praise from endless bragging?" I just had to bring that back up. Yes, I am an ass.

"Definitely."

"Well, it's good to see how much you've improved in your illusions."

"Well, it IS my special talent after all." She replied, putting a hoof to her own chest.

"Yep, 2 weeks of practical use instead of just flair, and you're already a 6 times what you were." I smiled, she smiled back.

"Ok, so, training is over for today. Newbloods, get up here!" I shouted to down below, noticing that the two of them had returned. The diamond dogs we had in our company had figured out how to climb, which while a little unnerving, also made our lives easier.

"Alright, well, I can't just go around with generic names anymore, so you're Etch," I said pointing to the high voiced one, "and you're Growl." I said pointing to the normally silent one. "Don't ask why, they sound cool and they match you perfectly. Anyways, did you get what I asked?" They nodded, showing me several pieces of leather which they 'borrowed' from a nearby town in the jungle, Wethoof, along with some thick thread and needles.

"Okay, so who here knows how to sew? Nobody? Ah crap. This is gonna be harder than I thought."

After explaining the basic sewing method, corkscrewing the thread through the two pieces, then going back on the opposite angle, Gilda cut the pieces and fitted them on me, leaving room for my wings and such. After the cross harness was made, a makeshift saddle with straps for Trixie's hooves were added. That way, she'd be able to ride around on my back, and even if I pulled aerial maneuvers, she wouldn't fall off. There were also four more, one in front and one behind where each of her front hooves would be, with latches on them. These would be used to carry four quivers of arrows. Hades, instead of being placed on my back along it's length, was instead put on my lower back, behind the saddle, perpendicular to my body. This made it easier to draw, and it wouldn't get in the way of the saddle.

"Are you sure about this Grif?" Gilda asked.

"Sure about what?"

"Letting Trixie ride you. I mean, being mounted is kind of humiliating. Makes you feel.... like an animal I guess." She replied.

"Really, I don't know, it's actually kind of comfortable if you ask me. It just feels, right I guess. Where I'm from, humans ride on horses. Being on the other side of that doesn't really seem to bother me." I said innocently. I didn't really understand, but having Trixie on my back, feeling something there, actually felt good. Am I a freak or something? Scratch that, I know for a fact that I am.

"Ok, so, since you've mastered illusion, it's time for actual combat. Once you've got that, we'll roll them together. I'm going to fly around, pulling off moves and whatever. I want you to use your magic to send these arrows into the painted targets as we pass by. I'll call out targets as I see them. Think of it like a clock. Where I'm facing is 12 o'clock. If I say target at 6, then you know it's directly behind us. I'f I say 3 o'clock high, it's on the right and above. If I fly and focus on keeping us alive while calling out targets for you to hit, that let's you focus on hitting them. If we can master this, then that'll be the next step done. Given that we're in a world of ponies, mounted combat is pretty much unheard of. If we storm somewhere with you riding me, it'll confuse the hell out of everyone."

"Um, okaaaaaaay." She wasn't too thrilled. Whenever I flew her anywhere, she always had her eyes closed.

"Listen, you're going to have to get over your fear of heights. Okay, so maybe you're not afraid of heights since we're in this tree house, but flying. If you're secured by this saddle, you won't fall off, and with practice, you'll get rid of the disorientation. Besides the latched quivers, there's also two pouches in front of you. One has explosives, and the other, knockout gas. We can use them to bombard an area if we need to. Trust me. You won't fall. How many times have you ridden on my back before, without the harness, and you never fell off? You'll be fine."

With my encouragement, she climbed on top, putting her hooves in the stirrups, tightening them with her magic. She carefully drew three arrows and held them close as I took off.

"2 o'clock low!" I shouted. Trixie, rather than using a bow, flung and arrow with her magic. It went wide, missing the target.

"8 o'clock mid!" This time, the arrow struck the tree with the target, but it was too low.

"12 o'clock low!" I lowered my head, going into a dive, giving her full view of the target. Since it was straight ahead, when she loosed her arrow, it struck the target, just on the outermost ring.

"I did it!" She squealed. I turned straight up, going into a climb, my eyes scanning around for a target.

"Above!" I yelled, Trixie having sweat appear on her brow. She sent a fourth arrow, which she had removed mid flight, at the target, striking it just outside the bulls eye. She would have jumped for joy if she wasn't strapped in. I landed, and she let herself off. As she got unstrapped, she fell over dizzy.

"Okay, so, you can hit targets we're looking right at, but you have a hard time hitting ones that pass to either side. Still, not bad for your first tries, and your first time with mounted combat." Looking at her, her pupils were dilated, and she was shaking with nervousness and excitement.

"Oh ho, so, Trix just got a taste of adrenaline! Feels good don't it?"

"YES! OH MY GOD! YES!" She yelled. "Do you feel like that every time you fly?" She asked.

"Pretty much. And now you know why everything with wings LOVES flying." Well, except Fluttershy.

"It's like, fear, excitement, joy, nervousness, all mixed into one!" Trix was jumping around.

"Oh, just wait till you throw rage into the mix. Having all that plus being pissed off, and you have how I killed a dragon. Remember, it's one thing to have this feeling, it's another entirely to control it and know how to use it. Being able to keep in control while going out of control like that, if that makes any sense." Trixie just nodded.

"As for the dizziness, you'll get over it the more we do it. One more thing, I'm thinking of a bit of a different strategy. Do you think you can hold all the arrows I've got on me?" I asked.

"Well, if I have them all going the same direction, then it's easy. Having them go in different directions is what's difficult." She explained.

"Good, hop on. We're going to go find another target."

After flying around for a bit, we spotted a manticore in the underbrush. I hovered above, quietly telling her that the target was directly below. She used her magic to pick up all 400 or so arrows I had on me, suspending them above. Instead of grabbing each one, she just took hold of the whole area in a magic field. It took more energy to do, but less concentration. She could only do it for a moment however, as she was no Twilight Sparkle, and taking too long would cause her to pass out from the strain. A moment was all we needed. Flying overhead, she spotted the target. I swooped past it, making it look up at me, as Trix let ALL the arrows go sailing towards it in a massive bombardment. It was a tough target, but that many arrows just ripped it to bits. I flew back down after, inspecting the carcass. Trixie looked exhausted, so I went around picking up all the arrows she had let go. Some were broken, but most were intact as they were made for guards and thus durable. After I collected all 380 intact arrows, I drew Hades, and lopped off the manticore tail. I carried it back to camp.

"What you got there Grif?" Gilda asked, looking at the carapace I held. I dropped Trixie onto the ground, and Etch put her in bed.

"Manticore tail. With this, we can collect the poison, and coat our arrows with it before we fire them. It'll make them a lot more effective, because instead of needing a kill shot, even a scratch will be lethal, or at least incapacitate. I'm not sure how their venom works, but from what I know of scorpions, it's deadly. I should probably read that potion making book."

'Hmm, posion joke, winter weed, phoenix ash mixed in, what's that measurement? Titration? I always hated that in school. Gaaah! This is too complicated!'

"Hey, Etch, Growl! Get over here. You've got a new job. Figure this apothecary crap out! And while you're at it, get on the chemistry too. This shit takes up way too much space in my head damnit!" The two diamond dogs just looked at me strangely.

"What makes you think we'd be good at it?" They asked in unison.

"Well, let's see, all the chem weapons we have were made by your kind, so you've got to have at least some talent with it, more than me anyways. I've got way too much to think about to be adding potion making to the list. You said Wethoof is thatta way? I think I can head there and pick up some glass vials and junk. If not, then we'll pick some up at the Volcano. All that lava around they've got to have glass blowing facilities."

"Well well, our infallible leader doesn't like science class." Gilda mocked.

"Hey, biology was fine. If any of you get shrapnel lodged in you, I can double as a surgeon, and I know about bacterial cultures and stuff. It's chemistry and physics that are just ridiculously complicated. It's a pain in the ass."

"Looks like you're not so much of an egghead after all." She laughed.

"Yeah yeah, so anyways, Trixie still isn't up. She's been sleeping a lot lately, probably since I've been working her to the bone with training her magic. That doesn't explain though why she looks like shit lately." Trix leaned her head over the bed and vomited a little on the floor.

"Oh crap, she's burning up!" I said, putting my claw on her head. I ran over to the book I had on the jungle, flipping through it.

Visitors to the Feline Jungle may contract jungle fever. It usually comes from tainted water running west from the Black Marsh. Things living in the marsh are immune to it from having been around it for a long period of time. Once you catch it, you cannot catch it again as you become immune, but while under it's effects, sufferers experience nausea, dizziness, inability to focus, raised temperature, cold sweat, increased heart rate, and finally, death. Simple antibiotics work well in combating the disease, and it is of the utmost importance that the afflicted receives treatment as soon as possible.

As I read the passage, everyone's eyes went wide and their pupils shrank. Death? Sure, we had seen death, but we hadn't been stricken by it ourselves, something I intended to keep that way.

"Not good, she's been acting like this for three days already! I thought she was just tuckered out. If she's started vomiting then she's already in the onset of the illness. Wethoof is that way right?" I asked the dogs. They nodded.

"Good, everyone pack up, we're going to bring her there to try and find a doctor. I'll need all of you to come with for safety. We're criminals, but maybe they haven't heard of us yet. If they won't help, we'll have to steal the antibiotics. It's just basic penicillin. Given where we are, they should have a large supply. Let's go!"

Gilda strapped Trixie onto me, grabbing one dog under each of her arms. She wasn't just about to be mounted by them, especially given that she hates them. We flew off as fast as we could towards the town, in hopes of saving the sickly and fading Trixie.

No! Don't die! Well well. Also, if you didn't know, Wethoof is the town from Rust's 'The ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog.' He's officially agreed to have this crossover thing, and was really cool about it. I'm sending him my chapters before I publish them to make sure they'll fit. Also, before I publish my next one, he'll have to come out with a few more. I'm gonna try to release my chapter containing Griffin's side of the story at the same time that he releases his with Echo's so it fits better.

Other Side (16)

Other Side

TWO DAYS AGO

"Twilight! Hey Twilight! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggg, Spike?" A wall eyed pegasus mail pony called to the inside of the library.

"Yeah, hey Derpy, Twi's busy with something or other, I'll take the mail. Why don't you just put it in the mail slot?" The little purple dragon asked annoyed.

"Because it doesn't go in!"

"Try turning it on it's side......."

"Oh right, I forgot. Again. Sorry."

After Spike took the mail, he brought it down to the basement where Twilight was nerve wracked.

"How, how do I do this? I mean, I can do it, but I don't know HOW I'm doing it! Gah! This is frustrating!"

"Still going on about that letter Twilight?" Spike asked.

"Well of course I am! It doesn't make any sense! It's a hoof! It's flat and doesn't have any digits! How can I pick things up as if it had fingers? And pianos, they don't make any sense at all! Why would we make something that needs fingers to play?" She asked nervously.

"That's what I've been saying this WHOLE TIME. YEARS I've been telling everypony this, and FINALLY somepony listens." Lyra was exasperated that she had somepony to share her insights with after all this time.

"I think it's a magic field that all ponies have extending from their hooves, like magnets, except with innate magic, but I can't tell for sure, and that doesn't explain piano or musical instruments! If it was like a magnetic field, it would be a general area and lack the precision needed. I need more tests. At least the magnets made sense." Twilight argued with herself.

"Ooooookaaaaaaay then. Here's the mail." Spike passed it to his pony sibling, who then tossed it to Lyra. Ignoring anything personal, she began to read the paper.

"Hey Twilight, I think you might want to read this....."

"Hey Rarity, Twilight wants you to come to the library, we're all having a meeting. I already gathered up Pinkie, AJ, and Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash called into the boutique. Rarity called back that she was coming, and would be there in a minute. After they all arrived at the iconic tree house, Twilight began her speech.

"Sorry I've been out of sorts for the past couple days, this research has me stumped. I mean, how can we just pick things up with our hooves without any graspers?"

"Silly Twilight, you just pick it up, see?" Pinkie exclaimed, lifting a pillow in her hoof.

"Yes, I know how to do it, but I don't know how it works. Anyway, that's not why I called you here. THIS is why I called you here." The lavender mare slapped the front page of the newspaper to the wall of the library and pinned it up. Looking at the photos, they all stared at them seriously.

"Trixie and Gilda are workin together as pirates? When the hay did that happen?" The orange earth pony asked.

"About a week ago. Apparently this one, 'Griffin the griffin' is the leader. While Applejack and Fluttershy don't know him, the rest of us do all too well." At the mention of his name, Dash gave a hmph, and pouted angrily. Rarity had a tear in her eye, Pinkie looked solemn, and Twilight went a tiny bit red with anger, but not very much.

"Griffin the griffin? What kinda name is that?" Applejack scoffed. "Sounds like sompony's got no originality." To which Pinkie stuffed her hoof in AJ's mouth.

"Don't say that! It's a soft spot for him! When he came to town, I laughed at his name when I promised not to, and I hurt his feelings. He tried being nice to me and.... I blew it. He wasn't even mad afterwards." Pinkie explained.

"I don't see how he's gonna know about it on accouta he ain't round here no more." Aj reasoned.

"He has Griffin sense! He knew things he shouldn't have! He never met me and he knew about cakes and parties and pies and big mean meanie pants! Then he caught a pot that fell! He sees everything!" At which point Pinkie creepily turned her head all the way around, prompting all the others to put hooves to their mouths for fear of losing their lunch.

"Wait, he's with Gilda.... then it was her." Dash said sadly.

"What was her?" Fluttershy asked, not liking Gilda, but wanting to know more.

"He told me he had a friend who saved his life. He fought and killed an 80 foot dragon by ripping one of it's scales of and diving down it's throat to save her. When he apologized for blowing his fuse after I, um, did some mean things to him, he told me it's because his friend was a runaway slave who's family is underground, digging up gems for the diamond dogs. I thought it might have been Gilda, and now I know it was." Dash explained.

"Well, that explains her bad attitude." Rarity scoffed.

"I was her only friend, and I couldn't see how much pain she was in. I made new friends, and I left her behind. Of course she'd get jealous and act out! And now she's all alone....." Rainbow began to cry.

"She's not alone, she's with Trixie and Griffin. Look at this photo, she actually looks happy." Twilight pointed at the paper.

"You, you're right! She's much better off."

"That brings us to Trixie. While Griffin and Gilda's crimes have 'Assist in prison escape' Trixie's has 'Prison escape' and 'Jewelry theft'. It sounds to me as though she fell on hard times, took to stealing to eat, got busted, then those two broke her out. It, it's my fault she's like that." Twilight looked sullen.

"Don't you be thinkin like that Twi, it's her fault cuz she was bragging and showboating! Ya had to show her up!" Applejack argued.

"Yeah, but that was her job. She was a showpony, she's SUPPOSED to do that. And she didn't bring the ursa, Snips and Snails did. Even when she was way outmatched, she still tried to fight it. We could have just ignored her, but WE tried to show her up." Twilight responded.

"I notice she isn't wearing her hat or cape, and the title doesn't say 'Great and Powerful' anymore." Rarity remarked.

"Probably because when she went around tooting her own horn Gilda tried to strangle her." Dash said with a laugh. Everyone but Fluttershy shared a giggle.

"What about him?" Fluttershy asked nervously.

"That's the thing, he's an enigma." Twilight replied.

"An eh what now?" Applejack asked.

"A mystery." Spike explained the vocabulary. "It means we know next to nothing about him."

"For example, he claimed to have a number of bad things happen to him, being betrayed by his friends, but the things could have only happened here in Equestria." Rarity piped up.

"What do you mean?" Dash asked.

"Well, for starters, he claimed that at a formal gathering among very important ponies, he had his garb ripped off of him to embarrass him at the event, but there are no such things outside Equestria that we know of."

"That's right, the Dominion hasn't had a government for 900 years. Unless he came from south of the equator, but nopony knows what's down there, and if he had come from there, what was he doing up north? No, it must have been somewhere in Equestria, but who would do something like that? They'd have nothing to gain. Nopony get's satisfaction simply from hurting somepony else." Twilight thought.

"Well, there is the alien thing." Spike added, to which he received strange looks.

"Oh come on, he's not an alien, aliens don't exist." Dash interjected.

"Well, we don't have any evidence proving that they don't exist, and to say they don't just because we haven't found any evidence that they DO is well..... ignorant." Twilight replied.

"He told me not to 'murder him with questions', as if he thought I was going to talk his ear off. When I asked him why I might ask him a lot of questions, he told me no reason, because he was a regular griffin and not an interdimensional alien in disguise. By the way, by the face he was making, he's a worse liar than you Applejack. It made it sound like he was trying to learn more about our world, changing into the first thing he came across, being a griffin like Gilda, and then got stuck in his disguise. This also explains why his name is so ironic, and why he may or may not have abilities like the Pinkie Sense. While the odds are astronomical, it's the only explanation we have that currently makes sense."

"Which explains why he was so awkward when he was here, he was trying to have a low profile, but he just keeps getting in a string of bad luck. Attacked by a dragon, attacked by diamond dogs, attacked by Rainbow Dash. Not knowing our laws or customs, probably got in trouble with authority too, so is now on the run, trying to figure out what to do next. It also explains the books he stole. He took practical knowledge on how to survive in the wilds."

"So, he killed a dragon, but I beat him into the dust? Does that mean I'm tougher than a dragon?" Dash puffed up her chest.

"Actually Rainbow, it means he wasn't trying. He probably doesn't want to hurt anypony, and just got forced into it." Fluttershy deadpanned in her 'Pinkie, I'm a year older than you' voice.

"How can you tell?" Rarity asked the timid pegasus.

"His picture. His eyes, they look, sad. He's got a smile on his face, but his eyes say that he's miserable just being alive. There's an endless amount of pain hiding behind them."

AT THE TREE HOUSE

"I can swing my sword-sword, that you can't afford-ford. Gonna be the lord-lord, when I raid the horde-horde. I CAN SWING MY SWORD-SWORD!...."

"SHUT UP DUMBASS!" Gilda interrupted his song. "We're trying to sleep!"

AT THE LIBRARY

"So, to try and survive, he's picked up anypony useful he can along the way. They're all on the wrong side of the law for one reason or another, so they've teamed up to stick it out. But becoming pirates? That's basically declaring war on peace and harmony! Calling themselves the Griffin Pirates is like spitting on the princess herself!" Twilight was confused, Why was he doing this?

"Well, he said that there are thousands of griffins living in fear of being eaten, and thousands more as slaves, and that he was going to get them out of the pit of despair or die trying." Rarity choked on her words. The thought of thousands permanently living in the conditions she was in for a single day was horrifying.

"You mean, he's planning a full scale griffin slave rebellion?" Dash asked in disbelief.

"I believe so. There's something strange about him though. They're pirates, but they aren't raiding or plundering. According to this article, they actually went out of their way to save Prince Blueblood and some of his escort that were taken prisoner by a group of dogs. They got no reward for it either." Twilight mused as to why they're doing such a thing.

"Well, it don't seem strange ta me." Applejack said, receiving stares from the rest.

"What? Who says he's out there just fer the griffins? They're all livin in slavery, which he wants ta change. If he just sat there on his flank while ponies got made inta slaves, he'd just be a hypocrite. Y'all already said he's a bad liar. He's tryin ta change the world fer the better, and this is his only way ta do it."

"Then, why not ask the princesses to do something about it? They're super duper nice and wouldn't want anypony to be sad or grumpy!" Pinkie suggested.

"Because the princesses have a lot on their plate already. Endless amounts of work go into keeping Equestria running the way it is, she can't just take over the Dominion too. It would be too much."

"Ok, so that explains what he's doing here, and why he's doing it, but it doesn't explain how. How'd he get here, and why'd he choose our world?" Twilight asked.

"His past experiences. They don't happen anywhere on this world except in Equestria, and those awful things that happened DURING them don't happen anywhere except OUTSIDE Equestria. Which means he really is from another world, where ponies are terrible enough to do things like that. He got sick of his life, and decided to leave. He probably looked around, saw Equestria, and said, 'Well, that looks nice,' and headed here, but somehow wound up in the dragon lands. That's when he came across Gilda, he found that their lives are just like his old one, and while he couldn't do anything about his, he CAN do something about theirs, seeing as how he has all that knowledge. Alien technology, although he didn't have any on him, he could probably make some. All in all, he's trying to make our world a better place, not just for ponies, but for everyone. The griffins enslaved by the diamond dogs, and the diamond dogs who have to enslave them so they get enough gems to appease the dragons." Rarity theorized. She wasn't as smart as Twilight, but she knew how the world worked.

"Then what happens to the dragons?" Spike asked nervously.

"Well, I hate to say it, but you saw that scale on his back. The handle was made from bone. He's probably going to kill them. He's done it once, and he'll probably do it again." Twilight realized her mistake when she saw Fluttershy curl up into a ball.

"K....k...kill? D...d...d....dragons?" She stuttered. They couldn't tell whether she was worried about the killing part, or about the dragon part.

"Well, unless he can find a peaceful solution to it, which, given the way he acted here, he'll try. But, me, Rarity, and Dash went with Spike to the dragon migration. They went to the Volcanic badlands. We all know how they are. They're brutes. They destroy just for fun. They cause ruin wherever they go. They won't listen to reason, and, if he's as strong as we think he is, he'll kill a lot of them. Among dragons, black dragons are the toughest. They limited themselves to eating only diamond and obsidian for years, meaning their scales are the hardest there is. He managed to beat it by flying inside it. Other dragons wouldn't stand a chance against his sword. It can cut stone like scissors through fabric. A diamond dog couldn't bite through it."

"So, he's going to wipe us out?" Spike asked nervously, but also confused. He had been pleasant to the little purple dragon when he had been there.

"No, he's probably going to go on population control. Finding the most destructive and evil dragons and putting an end to them, taking any who will change with him. Don't worry, you're safe Spike." Twilight reassured.

"There, I mean, there must be another way..... killing... it isn't right...." Fluttershy stuttered.

"Which is why he's a pirate, and why he needs to be stopped. You're right Fluttershy, there MUST be another way besides violence. This is something huge. I need to contact the princess with my theory, and we have to set out after him. We need to find him and convince him to stop." Twilight replied.

"You know the most disturbing part about this?" Rarity asked.

"What?" Dash replied.

"Up until he arrived, none of us had any idea what's happening in the rest of the world. We were perfectly happy living our lives. I checked into my gem sources, almost all of them come from Gem Fido at some point or another. That means, up until now, I've been a profiteer of slave labour without even knowing it, and that's dreadful." They all sat and recalled their horrible underground adventure.

"How could we be this dense? How could all of Equestria be this dense? We're living in this utopia while all this has been going on right under our noses." Twilight pondered, as she began writing a letter to Celestia.

Dear Princess Celesta,
In regards to 'Griffin the griffin', I believe I have determined his goal. He intends to incite a slave rebellion to free the griffins from captivity in Gem Fido, and murder a large number of dragons in order to decrease the population, which will in turn stabilize the northern provinces. There must be another, nonviolent, way to achieve this, and so we have set out after the Griffin Pirates in an attempt to sway them to peaceful means. We have also discovered that in all likelyhood, Griffin is actually an alien who came to our world to escape his own, only to find that outside of Equestria is the same as the world he left, and so decided to do something about it. This however, is only a theory, and while the probability of the existence of aliens is unlikely, it is possible, and this theory at the moment makes the most sense. Wish us luck on our quest.

Sincerely, your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Ps, I am still unaware as to the mechanism behind how we hold things without fingers. While I believe it may be a magic field similar to magnetism, centered around the hoof, I must run more tests. Magnets however, work by having unpaired electrons all spinning in the same direction, creating a field. I did not have to research that, it was in atomic physics 101.

After having Spike send the letter, the group got prepared, in much the same manner as when they set out to stop a dragon from snoring. Fluttershy did not like the idea of running into the group of bandits, but it had to be done, for the good of Equestria. If need be, while she swore she would never use it on somepony else, she would use 'The Stare' on Griffin if all else failed. After getting ready, they set out towards the jungle after the group. What they did not know, is that they were being watched, and everything they said, overheard.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER BOUNTY HUNTERS YAY!"

Of course, their outburst was heard by the mane 6 who then scolded them and specifically told them that they were not allowed to go because it was too dangerous, having Applebloom held by Big Mac, Sweetie Belle held by Rarity's parents, and Scootaloo with Mrs Cherilee. After they left the library, Pipsqueak snuck in, although he didn't need to as it was a public library, he didn't want to get in trouble for being there when it was unattended. He took the newspaper off the wall, bringing it to his own house. Taking the wanted posters, he hung them up above his bed, dressed up in his nightmare night pirate costume, and proceeded to swashbuckle against imaginary opponents next to the trio whom, despite their being newly formed, he already considered legendary for having taken the first step, something nobody had done for 600 years.

What, you thought I was gonna send the CMC to die in some hair brained scheme to catch Griffin? Being used to having the trio pull this kind of thing, they were half expecting to be spied on, as that's what the three did whenever the six of them had a meeting. I made this chapter to give a bit of a look at the other side of what's happening, what the mane six are up to, as well as what happens on a daily basis with Griffin during all those "ONE WEEK LATER" moments. He doesn't always sing, it's normally something different every time, and it drives everyone else with him crazy. But, they put up with it anyway.

Price (17)

Price

Flying full force towards the town known as Wethoof, I noticed that there was a massive wall build around it. The wall had scrapes and cuts and gashes all over it. The most striking was the gate. It had been freshly repaired, a hole going all the way through. The area was black as though it had been burned.

"What the hell did that?"

"Beats me!" Gilda replied.

An air raid siren went off, followed by spellfire heading wide. They were firing warning shots. Motioning to Gilda to go down, we descended and slowly walked up to the gate.

"Wethoof is closed in preparation of impending hyrda attack! No visitors!" A guard called from over the gate.

"We got a unicorn here with jungle fever! Let us in!" The guard seemed to ponder for a moment.

"No visitors!"

"If you don't let us in we'll just fly over, and then I'll kick your ass! Now open the damn gate! I don't have time for this!" The guard seemed to recoil for a moment before opening the massive wooden wall they called a door. We began to enter, only to find swords at our throats. A pure white stallion who looked frazzled stepped forwards with a scowl.

"A pair of griffins? Oh this just get's better and better. Although, I am confused as to why you have two mutts in your company."

"Oh, those two? Don't mind them. They're just my punching bags." I motioned back to Etch and Growl. They snarled, but visibly shrank under my gaze. I turned back to the stallion to see him smiling a very evil smile.

"Very well, welcome to Wethoof." We began to enter, but the dogs were pushed back.

"You three, not them. Diamond dogs are barred from the city." I just gave an annoyed sigh.

"Etch, Growl, set up camp in the treeline. I want it done by nightfall." They nodded then headed off across the flatland into the jungle. It is now apparent that this wall was made by cutting down the surrounding trees, which left the land barren and muddy. A pair of ponies came forward and took Trixie off my back for medical treatment.

"Now then, we need to talk."

"I am Frost Snap, the mayor of this town. What is a pair of griffins and a unicorn doing this far south?" He asked sternly.

"We're having fun." I said with a maniac look in my eyes.

"Fun? Explain." His eyes matched mine in ferocity.

"Well, first I killed a dragon, which was okay, then I killed some diamond dog raiding parties, which was fun. Then two weeks before we got here I killed about 25 of the mutts and saved prince charming while I was at it. That was a blast." As soon as I mentioned slaughtering diamond dogs, his eyes went wide and he looked like the happiest pony on earth. It was unnerving.

"I notice you haven't asked for my name yet." I said calmly.

"That's because I already know who you are. Griffin, Gilda, and Trixie." He replied.

"Yeah, I kinda figured by the way your guards were pissing themselves when they saw me."

"Strange, a mayor welcoming pirates into his town with open arms." Gilda scoffed, trying to gain control of the conversation from me so I'd stop being so rude, also clearly sensing that he had ulterior motives. "Especially since we threatened your guards."

"I know all too well how much griffins despise... dogs." He practically spat the last word. "Although I had no idea that there were groups actually doing something about them."

"Group, actually, we're the only one. Only one we know of anyways." Gilda deadpanned.

"So, how many are in your little group? Taking down a nest of dogs would take some fair numbers." He asked.

"Five, if you include the punching bags. I killed those 25 dogs on my own, well, with a little bit of interference from Trix."

"If you want to lie you should at least make it believable. Killing the dogs maybe, but a full grown dragon? Come on! You really expect me to fall for that!" He barked. I cracked my neck and showed him my sword by slicing his desk in half and embedding it in the floor. That way he could get a REALLY close look at it.

"Black dragon scale blade, handle made from the arm bone. Dragon blood is sour, and the meat tastes like fish marinated in lemon juice. You have to eat it raw because it can't be cooked." I say with a crazy smile, my eyes ferocious and predatory, looking at him like he's my next prey.

"Celestia's mane..... you're not lying......." He said backing away from the razor edge. "I too hate diamond dogs. Now, let us discuss the price of saving your crew member's life."

"Price? Yeah, I guess it would be too much to ask for charity. What are we talking about here. If you mean bits, we've got a few, but mostly gems that we..... acquired from some dogs who will no longer be needing them."

"No, I have no use for your money. I'm talking service." Frost Snap smiled wickedly. The fact that my primary source of income was killing the things he despised made him all too glad I was here.

"Oh? I see. You need something done. Something you can't do yourself...... or something that isn't legal?" He began to frown.

"As you may or may not know, this town has been plagued by hydra attacks for a while now. The reason we built the wall. We're planning on wiping them out with a gunpowder trap. That's taken care of. What I need you for is different. There is a...... diamond dog, here in town. He calls himself Echo."

"Diamond dogs are banned from Wethoof are they not?" Gilda asked.

"Indeed. You saw the gate did you not? The hole burned through it? This 'Echo' did that. He brought an injured Daring Do to us, and bored a hole through the gate when we refused him entry." Frost Snap explained.

"And? I don't see where you're going with this. The gate's fixed, you've got the hydra problem taken care of, what do you need me for?"

"I want you to kill Echo."

"I see, so, there's a diamond dog in Wethoof, despite them being disallowed. He's a danger to the town, proven by the fact that he ripped a hole in your gate. Although he did save Daring Do..... Okay Frosty, I need to talk with my associate." I see him smile as I turn away, despite my giving him a new nickname.

"So, we kill Echo and in doing so, save Trixie's life, or do we pass because he saved Daring, steal the meds and be wanted in this town too?"

"As much as Daring is one of the only ponies who aren't lame, I hate diamond dogs, and Trix's life is riding on this. Let's do it. But I don't like the way he's looking at us, or the way he's saying things. We need more info."

"Agreed."

"Okay, so, how do you suppose we do it? I assume you want it taken care of incognito because otherwise you'd just have your guards kill him."

"Does that mean you accept?" His eyes wavering. He clearly is afraid of the demon bird, although doing a very good job of hiding it, I'm just good at reading people. The prospect of killing this 'Echo' character is too great for him to pass up, so he overcame it.

"It means I'm thinking about it. Despite being a pirate, I don't do ANYTHING without thinking it through first. I need details. I need information. I need to figure out EXACTLY what I'm dealing with before I rush into it. I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid. I also need your motivation. I need to know why. Wanting him dead just for breaking in is a little extreme. I need to know your story if I'm gonna do this right."

"You hate diamond dogs as much as I do, why do you need to know why? You should be happy with killing him off."

"Let's just say I'm not your average griffin. If I was, I wouldn't be able to do the things I do." He looked annoyed at my excuse, but then he gave a sigh in defeat.

"Years ago, the Greenclaw diamond dogs and Wethoof worked together. We both experienced prosperity. Then, one day, they kidnapped my wife to make her a slave. I don't know why they did it. Everything was going so smoothly." Gilda tensed up at the word slave, and I scowled.

"So I went down into their tunnels to try and convince Mosspaw to return her. He refused. Then he killed her, right in front of me and my daughter. Then I killed him. I hate diamond dogs with every fiber of my being. I want them all to die. The only reason I let you in this town is because I've seen the newspaper. I know what you've done." He slumped down in his chair.

"That's not the whole story is it? There's more." His eyes met mine. Instead of anger, he displayed sorrow. Instead of my piercing gaze, he met a compassionate one.

"A few days ago, Echo and my daughter, Ginger Snap, went out to lure the hydra matriarch away from Wethoof. She came back with a broken leg. I'll be damned if I let my daughter die because of that blasted MUTT!"

"Good, so now I know why. The next question is how, and why can't you do it. You killed Mosspaw didn't you?"

"I don't care how. You could kill him in the street, although then you'd have to go on the run from town as well, or you could stage an 'accident', or you could conveniently swing your sword a little too far while fighting hydras. I don't care, as long as he dies and my daughter is safe. As for why I can't, the Wethoof Guard Captain Tythus is protecting him. If you go so far as to kill him in the open, you'll be run out of town. Several of the ponies in town have started warming up to him as well. I could probably do it, and then I'd lose my post and be unable to help any of the others, let alone protect Ginger from the world. " He said looking down. What was fierce and hate filled moments ago was now clearly the broken husk of a pony who had lost everything and was living on hate alone.

"I see, then what about Trixie's treatment? She needs it immediately. I might not be able to fulfill the my end of the bargain till a later date."

"She'll receive her treatment regardless. Just know that if you refuse it'll be your heads on a platter instead of his. After all, you're wanted. I can easily say that you were killed in the hydra's attack." He regained his evil grin. He knew he had us, well, me, by the jewels.

"I'll think about it. No guarantees I'll even be able to pull it off. If he burned a hole in your gate that size, he's gonna be tough. The dragon was the combination of a lucky shot with a heaping helping of insanity. No telling what'll happen. Oh, by the way. The other thing my punching bags do. They're my diamond dog experts. If I'm fighting hounds, I need to have my own so I know what I'm dealing with. I'll need them to inspect this 'Echo' so I know what I'm getting myself into. I know you don't like it, but that's the only way this will work." I smiled back. Now I had HIM. If he wanted me to get rid of his diamond dog problem, he'd have to let two more of them in. He struggled with himself for several minutes before letting out a frustrated yell, then finally regaining his composure.

"You truly are a demon you know that? Making me let another pair of those damned mutts in my town to get rid of the first one, and even then you might decline or be unable to pull it off. Keep them on a VERY short leash, or you'll be dealing with me. I slew an alpha. Just remember that." Frost Snap scowled.

"What else did you expect? I AM a pirate after all. If any harm comes to my crew, you will be dealing with me, and I will be VERY cross. When I get mad, I kill things. Like dragons. Just remember that." I replied in the same manner at which he had spoken to me, throwing him a small number of bits. "This is for the desk."

The two of us left the room, our hearing picking up several thuds as Frost Snap banged his head on half of his desk repeatedly. I turned to Gilda and smiled.

"So, my little lovebird, what say you to some spying? He was holding something back, and I wanna know what."

Dear Princess Celestia,

You are a terrible liar. If you don't know, then just say so. I'm not here to judge. Also, it's no fun if I just TELL you what I'm doing, you have to figure it out on your own. Let me guess, you had Twilight do it. Also, when you sent me the letter, I burped it out like Spike. What's up with that? Also also,

If a unicorn sits in a chair, then uses magic to lift said chair, will they be able to fly?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Well, time to see if the universe is crazy."

'Go to Celestia, go to Celestia, go to Celestia.' I took a deep breath, blew on the letter..... and nothing happened.

"Damn. That's no fun. Why does it work the other way around?"

Daring and Scooby Doo (18)

Daring and Scooby Doo

"Okay, Etch, Growl. Thanks for setting up camp. Now, for your next jobs. I convinced old Frosty to let you in. There's a diamond dog named Echo he wants me to kill. He's the guy who burned a hole in the gate. Before I decide to do anything, I need you two to get a good look at him and give me your opinions on him. If he can do that to the front gate, odds are, he's a badass. I wanna know just how much of a badass he really is. We'll go from there. While any other day we'd just loot the place, we can't. They've got Trixie's life in their hands, so we have to be on our best behaviour. We get in, get a quick look, then get out and meet back here."

"I don't like this one bit. They've got us, and we've pretty much gotta do whatever they say." Gilda voiced her concerns.

"I don't like it either, but we don't have a choice. If things head south, I'll bail the dogs out, you grab Trixie and as much of that medicine that you can. Then we'll head west, away from Wethoof, closer to the volcanic wastes. IF things go wrong. The code word telling us to get the hell out of there is ponylicious. It's not something anyone would normally say, so it'll stand out. I hope we don't have to use it. We'll meet here an hour after entry. Gilda, you fly around up above and be spotter and coordinator, Etch, Growl, you use the shadows and alleyways. If it looks like you're gonna get caught, head underground. I'll strut through town like I own the place to throw off suspicion and be the distraction if need be. I'd also like to get some armor, so 'shopping' will be my excuse. We might get spotted as pirates, and I don't feel like dealing with overzealous guards or bounty hunters, so we use different names. I'm Edge and Gilda, you're Silver. Let's move. If I need you dogs, I'll smack the ground with my sword from a hidden location. If I need you Silver, I'll reflect the sun off it's edge."

Air lifting the dogs into Wethoof was easy. We came down inside a cloud, dropped them off, then headed out on our respective jobs. Gilda took to watching the town from her cloud, the dogs headed under to avoid being seen, and I marched right in. Strangely, the Wethoof ponies didn't care that I was there. A few of them took passing glances, but it was more of a 'you don't see that every day' look then a 'get out bird brain' look.

'Hmm, so they're racist, just not against griffins. Probably all that d-dog hate, they think if a griffin is around, there's no way a dog will be. That will work in my favour. Okay, first, get some armor. If I'm gonna be a tank I need to be able to take hits, and this leather harness just won't cut it. Glad I'm freaking loaded, although this'll probably take all the cash and gems I've got. Then the hospital. I wanna see Frosty's daughter. If Echo is wandering around in the open, he shouldn't be too hard to spot.'

I found a smith, busy at work, banging his hammer on an anvil. He looked consumed by his work, and he also looked quite skilled at it. I wanted some armor, so someone who was skilled and focused would get me some fast.

"Hey there." I called in a chipper tone.

"Ah geez. Lemme guess, need a weapon? Sorry kid, there was a new law passed saying I can't make, give, or sell any killin tools to a non pony." He seemed bummed about it.

"Nah, as you can see, I'm well taken care of in that regard." I showed him my sword. "I just need some armor, strong, but flexible, and not too heavy. Gotta be able to fly with it on savvy? Mostly for stopping arrows. Physical blows and spells, this sucker can take anything you throw at it." His eye caught my blade, and he began rubbing his chin with his hoof, admiring the craftsmanship.

"Oh, and if you're worried, don't be. Frosty already okay'd me. I'm supposed to be helpin with some hydra problem, and I'm gonna need armor."

"Lemme guess, you need it to work with that there fancy harness you got on ya? Where'd ya get that? It looks kinda shoddy. Name's Bellows by the way." The smith introduced.

"Yeah, may seem strange, but I'm actually used to being ridden by a pony, believe it or not. As for the crafting, of course it looks like junk, I made it myself. I'm no tailor. Name's Edge."

"You some kinda royal escort? Fancy blade like that, lettin a pony ride you all over?" This smith was asking way too many questions.

"Nah, I'm freelance."

"So, mayor think's Echo's gonna fail and took to hiring a merc. Explains why you made your own gear. Just wish Frost would give him a chance. He may be a dog, but he's a good kid. Doesn't have a bad bone in his body. So, you just gonna sit there, or you gonna let me look at your stuff? Seems like you've been on the road quite a bit and need someone to fix your gear up."

After letting him take a look at my harness and Hades, he went about fixing them up. It took him a bit, but he fused a steel bar into the scale base, then affixed that to the bone, finishing by giving it a new wrapping. It would be about a hundred times sturdier like this. He couldn't understand how it hadn't fallen apart before just by me swinging it. Then he took my measurements and looked at my harness design, told me to come back tomorrow and he'd have a new one and some chain mail ready for me. He also said to hold off on the payment till he finished it. Something about his work ethic demanding he not accept money till the customer was satisfied or something like that.

'Okay, next, the hospital. I wanna see this Ginger Snap. Something bothers me about Echo. The more I hear about him, the less he sounds like a typical diamond dog and the more he sounds like..... I don't know. Saving Daring Do, good kid, mayor thinks he'll fail? Wait, does that mean he's helping fight the hydra's, and the mayor wants me to kill him off before he becomes a town hero? Why is he doing that? He's a diamond dog. What I've got is a mystery.'

Heading towards the hospital, well, more of a medical tent, I spotted a very tall looking bipedal creature, wearing some armor, a harness with pauldron like Cloud from FF7, and a hood with cloak. I fought back the urge to whistle at the make of it, headed around the back, and smacked the flat of my blade on the ground. Yep, much sturdier than before. After about a minute, I did it again, causing Etch and Growl to pop out of the ground in front of me.

"Alright, I've spotted 'Echo' on the other side of this tent. Head underground, come up in an alley, and get a good look at him. Then come back here, and I'll get Silver to come get you. Don't bother talking about it till we're back at camp. Don't get spotted, don't give yourselves away. Go."

As they burrowed back under the earth, I took out Hades and caught the sun on it's edge, sending a signal to the sky. She saw it and came flying down to meet me.

"What's up?" She said, keeping her voice down.

"Okay, tall dark and gruesome is on the other side of this tent. I'm getting the hounds to take a look at him. They should be back in a couple minutes. I want you to take them and all of you head back to camp. I'm gonna take another look around, see what I can see. Once I get back, we'll share what we've learned. No idea when I'll return. Probably at dusk. I need to find out everything I can, and I'd hate to miss out because of a time limit."

After a couple more minutes, they popped up again. They were about to tell me what they saw, but my stern look reminded them to save it till we were back at camp, and out of ear shot. Just as I have awesome eyes, he has awesome ears. I really hope he didn't hear me. Gilda picked them up and air lifted them out. Satisfied, I flew up, circled around a few times, them landed in the street across from the tent. I walked up like I owned the place. He didn't even notice me. He was either deep in thought, or asleep. He also had a spear with a shimmering gem on top of it. It didn't look like normal d-dog spears. I walked right past him into the tent.

"Alright, who ya here for?" A very tired and annoyed nurse asked.

"Blue unicorn with jungle fever. I was also hoping to talk to Ginger Snap. Mayor sent me." Apparently, the 'mayor sent me' line will get you anything in this town. Good. I intend to keep using it. She let me walk right in. There were a few injured ponies of various variety scattered about. I found Trixie lying on a hospital bed with one of those needles and drip bags. She was awake, but not looking too good.

"Hey Trix, how ya feeling?"

"Like I got run over." She replied.

"You caught jungle fever. From now on, we drink rain water. Don't worry, they'll take care of you."

"But we're..." I cut her off before she could say 'pirates'.

"Don't worry about that. I met the mayor, and everything is fine. No need to worry about anything. It's all going to be taken care of. He's having me do a little job for him as payment is all. Once that's out of the way, we'll be back on our merry way. You just focus on getting better. Let me worry about the details."

"Thanks Gr." I put my claw over her mouth.

"No no, you just get your sleep." Then I whispered that while the mayor, and some the guard, were fine with it, it wouldn't do to have the general population knowing about who we were. Most didn't know, and the ones who did were on express orders not to spread it around.

"And, Ginger Snap, oh, right across the hall, that's convenient."

"Oh just great. First hydras, then diamond dogs, and now a griffin. Do you think you could convince the nurse to just kill me?" She asked sarcastically as her mane smoldered slightly.

"Oh ha ha, very funny. Your pops sent me to check up on you. That, and I've got a few questions about this 'Echo' I've been hearing all about. Nothing official, just curiosity." At the mention of her dad, she tensed up a bit before calming down.

"Tell dad that I'm fine." She replied with spite. "If you wanna know about him, go ask Daring. She's all chummy with him. You should find her in the barracks. As for you, why are YOU here?" She spat.

"Hydra's." I just left it at that. Let her figure it out. Wasn't gonna tell her that I was here to kill Echo, as I have no idea what her relationship is with him. She seemed to dislike him, but it's also probable that he saved her life. I'd need to find Daring. I exited the tent, noticing that my target was no longer standing at the entrance. I hope he didn't hear me. I REALLY didn't want to give him the heads up that I was hunting him. I flew up, looked around, then found a building that armored ponies kept going in and out of.

'Looks like the place. Better stay on guard.'

I flew down, god I love flying, landing among a group of guards who stared at me sternly, sizing me up as a threat. These were clearly not noobies like the ones watching the gate were. My assumption is that when the hydra problem first started, a large number of the citizens got drafted to help deal with the problem, and so were still reigning in their nerves, while the existing guard were tough, grizzled veterans. I could tell that they had stared death in the face several times, and were no longer afraid of it, and thus, me. It actually started getting to me. I'm used to having everything equestrian get the hell out of my way with a single look, while these guys had an air of confidence. After all, they HAD been holding hydra's off for a while, maybe even months. Despite that, it was nice to not have these ponies running and cowering as soon as I came around.

"I'm looking for Tythus." The soldiers guarding the gate looked at me incredulously before letting me through. Knowing the guard captain's name and using it without title gave the impression that I knew him personally, thus letting me enter unbarred. I love manipulating these fools. It's so much fun!

The barracks served as armament storage, sleeping quarters, training hall, and mess hall. I could probably get something to eat if I threw my connection around. First to find Tythus and Daring. I need to know their opinions on Echo. Daring was up first. I spotted her signature hat easily, and almost squee'd with fanboyism.

'Not now, gotta play it cool. I can gush at Gilda later. She'll be so jealous.'

"Daring Do?" I said in my smoothest voice. She turned, showing her orange face. Her mane was styled the same way as Rainbow Dash's, except it was a brown/black mixture. It felt like I was looking at Indiana Jones, probably because I was. When she saw me, her eyes went wide in surprise. She clearly wasn't expecting to see a griffin.

"Hello?" She asked, not with trepidation, but with confidence. She was definitely every bit as brave as the stories made her out to be.

"Hey, name's Edge, huge fan. Anyway, old snowstorm called me in to deal with a hydra problem. I'm supposed to be working with some diamond dog named Echo? I wanna know a bit about him before I meet him. As you might be able to tell, griffins and dogs have a bit of....... bad blood.... between us. I don't wanna jeopardize this job, so I wanna learn about him before I meet him, that way I don't offend." I said with what I assume to be typical merc swagger.

"I see." The voice of a gruff stallion came from behind me. I turned my head around to spot a pony wearing armor different than the norm. It was battered and beaten, yet still somehow seemed impressive. Easy to tell that he was the guard captain.

'Crap! I didn't want to talk to them at the same time! I wanted to get more info to prepare for the conversation.'

"Listen Griffin and listen well." He said, saying griffin not as a description of my race but as my name, but so nobody else would know. He knew who I was.

"I have been informed of your presence by mayor Frost Snap, and while he seems to think it's a good idea to have.... mercenaries...." He was about to say pirates. "in Wethoof, I do not. You will not interfere with my guard in any way, nor will you interfere with the operation of this village. Failure to comply will result in VERY harsh discipline." He said staring into my eyes. I'll be honest, I've cut down a massive dragon and fought dozens of diamond dogs without batting an eye. This pony, this, Tythus, scared me.

'Is this what it's like being under a Fluttershy stare? In that case, I'm glad I didn't meet her in Ponyville. At the same time I kinda wish she were here right now. I need a hug.'

"Yes sir, I am well aware that I am to be on my best behaviour. The mayor left out some key details, so I'm just trying to gather more information about the job. I'm supposed to be working WITH your guard, as well as this 'Echo'. That's all he told me. He gave me no information whatsoever on the specifics of that, so I'm taking to gathering it myself. I swear, they give me these jobs with no info just to piss me off." Better play nice with Tythus, don't wanna end up with my head on a pike. With that, he walked off. Thank goodness. I don't like him one bit. He's a solid wall, and I can't find a crack. Makes me uneasy.

"What the hay was that all about?" Daring finally asked.

"I guess he just doesn't like me or something. I'm used to it. Anyway, so I know the little hydras are being taken care of by a gunpowder trap which is already prepared, and I'm supposed to be helping out, but with what? I mean, he didn't tell me squat about the details of this plan, or what I'm supposed to be helping with. I asked Ginger Snap about it, and she just told me to go ask you."

"I take it she doesn't like you either?" She asked.

"Oh well. What are ya gonna do right? So yeah, I need to know what the heck I'm supposed to be doing, as well as more about who I'm working with."

"Well, hydras are attracted to heat, so Ginger and Echo were going to stand in the middle of the pit, light a signal to lure them in, and then we blow them all to bits. Ginger is in the hospital now, so that presents a problem." She explained.

"Yeah, her mane was smoldering when she looked at me, so I figured she's a fire user. How's the dog supposed to help?"

"Well, Fluffy does this weird thing where he clicks his claws together till they catch fire......"

"WHAT? What the hell! I've never heard of that before. Not with regular physics. Gotta be magic."

"If you'd let me finish... yes, it is a kind of magic. I can't really explain it to you because um, I don't really get it myself. He can't cast spells though." She was hiding something.

"Also, he can't talk because he got his throat slashed by Ahuizotl, so he talks by drawing the words with his claws, or charades. Imagine my surprise when he asked me to teach him to write."

"Wait, diamond dogs can't read or write?"

"Yeah, pretty much, they're uneducated. He's different somehow. He has a huge capacity for learning compared to the rest. He's also got a good heart. He's been ragged on nonstop since he got here, and he never let it get to him. He even saved Ginger Snap, twice, despite her hating his guts. Of course, she won't admit it. It's like he's not a diamond dog at all." She had an almost dreamy look in her eyes.

"Well, I gotta go, very busy soldier for hire. I'm staying in a camp outside town, up in the trees. Don't feel like spending on room and board. I'll be back tomorrow to pick up some armor I ordered, think you can introduce me to him?"

"Yeah, you're not like most griffin's either. You two will probably be like two pea's in a pod."

I left Wethoof and headed back to camp, Gilda and the dogs already eating. They seemed a little annoyed to see me, probably since I came back so late.

"Well well, look who finally decided to show up. Where the hell have you been?" Gilda scoffed.

"Well, instead of slacking off like you lot, I was getting more info using my endless charm and wit. I figured out what Frosty was hiding too. That'll have to wait though, I need to know what was so important that Etch and Growl almost blew our cover to tell me." I said sternly.

"Alpha." Growl replied.

"Echo is an alpha diamond dog." Etch elaborated, looking almost afraid as he said it.

"I thought that alpha's were the pack leaders? I noticed he's taller and more burly than you two, so, does that mean alpha is a genetic trait?"

"Yes and no." They had apparently told Gilda before and she pieced it together.

"While alphas are the pack leaders, they are as such because they have a superior bloodline, being stronger, faster, smarter, and more vicious than their kin. While a regular dog can take command of the pack if they somehow outsmart the alpha, it's really uncommon, and it normally doesn't last very long." She explained.

"Got ya. So, we've got ourselves an Alpha. Now for what I've learned. As it turns out, this 'Echo' guy has been going around making himself a hero. He makes the whole thing we did with Blueblood look like we were just randomly killing and happened to get the bad guys."

"Isn't that what happened?" Gilda mocked.

"Besides the point. He's a regular voice of the people, loved and celebrated. Pretty much, the ONLY one who hates him is Frosty. Also, magic. While he can't cast spells, he clicks his claws together to make fire. I'm guessing that how he tore through the gate like that. Which brings me to the third point."

"Which is?" The three of them asked.

"Well, the whole plan to waste the hydra younglings revolves around luring the lot of them to the gunpowder trap and then lighting it. Hydras like heat, and they're lighting a signal fire to lure them in. Originally, a unicorn named Ginger Snap who's special talent is burning stuff was going to do it, but she's out with a broken hoof. That means that they NEED Echo to pull it off. If we kill him, their whole plan falls apart."

"So basically, Frosty wants us to kill Echo for petty revenge, and in doing so, doom his entire town." Gilda caught on, the dogs whimpering at the thought of fighting an alpha.

"Ok, so vote time, we can try to kill the dog, which I have a way of testing the waters without risking our lives, and if we succeed, we doom the town. In fact, the town will probably look to us to kill several hundred hydras after we make their plan fail, followed by Tythus ripping my head off. Or do we warn him about the attempt on his life, help save the town, and get to be hero's along with him. Or three, we grab Trix, grab the meds, and get the heck out of here, leaving them to their fate. Since we lack Trix, you two get to vote as well.

"Well, as much as I want to kill him, I don't feel right burying the entire town in hydra droppings. The whole point was to change the world right? If we just take the easy way out here, what kind of example are we setting for the future. We can't kill him, which pisses me right the hell off. The other two options are riskier, and equally so." Gilda was looking forward to some bloodshed.

"Okay, so, we either help him and the mayor arrests us for being pirates, in which case, we lose Trix. Of course, I have a plan to get us out of that as well, or, we bail. We sneak in, grab Trixie and her treatment, then run for it. Either way, we're gonna have to bail from this town. Etch and Growl, you'll sneak in and get her while we do whatever. So you two, do we bail right now, or do we do the...... right....... thing, save everyone, and come out looking like total badasses." I didn't like being a hero. I'm supposed to be the bad guy damnit! I'm supposed to be going around, killing things, taking over, not being some idol for little kids who wanna play pirate. Then again, fighting hydras would be good experience, and it was a perfect way to get our name out there.

Etch and Growl looked at each other for a while, saying nothing. It's almost as if they could read each other's minds. Finally, they looked at me and Gilda.

"We have village to save."

"Oh, one more thing? Do either of you read or write?" The dogs just shook their heads no.

"Then why didn't you TELL ME? That kind of thing is important! If I had known you couldn't make a lick of sense of what's in that book, I wouldn't have wasted your time." I face clawed.

"If we're gonna work together, you guys have to throw me a freaking bone now and then alright?"

"Looks like we're in need of a sixth team member, someone who can make potions." Gilda replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah, and I have no idea who."

Dear Princess Luna,

Have you ever mooned someone?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Duel (19)

Duel

"Well, now that we know what we gotta do, I hope we're all ready. We're gonna make sure the hydra killing plan goes off without a hitch, then bail out of here. Etch, Growl, your signal to kidnap Trixie is a massive explosion, most likely followed by cheering. When you get her, remember what the medicine vials look like and grab a whole bunch of the same. Since you can't read, don't worry about the labels. I'll sort em out once we're in the clear. And then I'll get you two educated. Can't have you running around being ignorant can I? Gilda, you're with me. We don't need to scout anymore, so I'll need you to stick with me. I'll be getting my armor today, you can pick out something else you want while we're at it."

All in acceptance of my plan, we headed back to Wethoof in the morning. The dogs with their typical underground method of transport, Gilda and myself walking through the center of town. I found my way back to Bellows, the black smith, and a shiny new set of chain mail and harness were waiting for me. So was Echo. Apparently, his armor had been beat up a bit and he was getting it looked at. He quickly dressed himself in his repaired garb, but did not leave. I tried not to stare at him. Despite him not being an assassination target anymore, something about him unnerved me. He felt strange, and yet familiar at the same time.

"Ah, Edge, ya said you'd be back today. Didn't take ya for an early riser. Most mercs I've come across are a right lazy bunch." Bellows called out.

"Honestly, who needs sleep nowadays anyway? I'm used to pulling all nighters."

"Ya didn't sleep a wink? What, the excitement of killin some hydras, or of gettin in yer new armor?" He asked.

"Habit. I've dealt with insomnia before, it's no big deal." I shrugged.

"Well, look at me just wasting time when there's things to do! Here, try it on." He passed me the chain link armor. The harness was actually a part of the suit, fitting perfectly in a chain loop on the armor so that the softer cloth straps would be protected.

"Well, look at that, fits perfect. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been doing this a while." I jabbed at him verbally. It's all in good fun.

"So, how much I owe you?"

"Thousand."

"Take gems?"

"Sure do. Ever since the Greenclaws got wiped out I been hard pressed to get gems around here for crafting."

After debating the value of various pieces, we finally settled on a good price and I passed him the glittering jewels. Echo spotted them and looked at them hungrily.

"None of that you damned hound." Gilda scowled. Echo let his claws out, causing her to enter a fighting stance. To her surprise, his claws glowed with a faint light as he proceeded to draw a number of symbols and such that we didn't recognize.

"Eh, sorry Fido, could ya repeat that, English... I mean Equestrian this time?" He looked at me incredulously before using the standard alphabet, with which he wrote,

"You mean you can understand this?"

"Why wouldn't I be able to? All those fancy symbols from before looked like gibberish. Half the books from the library were written the same way, while the other half were normal." He paused for a moment in thought.

"Everyone around here uses those characters. I had to learn a whole new written language, and you're telling me you can understand this perfectly fine? How?"

'Crap, he's on to me, wait, if everyone here uses that, how does HE know it? Suspicious. He's probably thinking the same about me.'

"Well, while the 26 letter alphabet is the main written form, the symbols seem to be pony specific. Kind of like how if two french..ponies meet each other in a foreign country they'll speak french to one another, but the native language to everyone else. Given that there are only ponies in Wethoof, us three excluded, it makes sense they'd use their own written language." He looked at me questioningly again when I paused to say ponies instead of people. I think he's on to me.

"Oh well, at least I know a new language. A little annoying that I could have used this one the whole time." He didn't look like he bought it. Despite the fact that it was true. I know these things, I read them in a book.

"Well, sucks to be you. Anyway, I was gonna have Daring introduce you to me later at the barracks, but it looks like I beat her to the punch. I'll still let her do it, but right now, I need to go talk to the mayor. Some important business needs to be taken care of." Echo scowled at my mention of him.

"Just who are you anyway to have connections with the mayor?" Shit, not good, he's asking too many questions! I thought diamond dogs were supposed to be dumb! Oh, right, Daring told me he's not an idiot like the rest of them.

"Um, nobody. Nobody at all. Just someone he hired to help deal with the town's problem." I tried to fly away, avoid the situation, but he grabbed my tail and flung me to the ground.

"So, the mayor sends his spy after me? Why am I not surprised? I heard you talking with your little crew before and had my suspicions, but now I know for sure. I don't know who you are, but I know what you're planning. I won't fall into your little trap. I know full well the mayor has it out for me, and now he's sending you to do his dirty work."

Lying on my back, I kicked Echo in the chest, knocking him to the ground and flipped myself over, taking a defensive stance.

"Hold on, just listen for a sec. Just listen to me for a moment. Hear me out."

"Why, so you can stab me in the back while I'm distracted?"

"Then there's no reasoning with you." I flew up into the air, out of his reach. Echo got to his feet and looked up at where I was, writing in the air,

"Come back down here and fight. I'm not letting you get off that easily."

"How about this, we fight, if you win, I tell you everything you want to know, and if I win, you hear me out okay?" Which are exactly the same thing, but I'm not tellin HIM that. The various guard ponies, as well as some citizens began gathering around. I pointed over to a clear area that was used for sparring. I didn't look forward to Tythus killing me.

"Fine by me."

"So, we can do this one of two ways. First, we can have an honorable duel, bow, shake hands, whatever."

"Or?" With that, I dropped a smoke bomb right on him, blinding him and causing him to cough, something particularly painful for him given his throat was slashed. I dove into the cloud and clubbed him with the flat of Hades, sending him flying into the town wall. He grumbled slightly as he stood up, in pain from my attack but unphased from the impact with the structure. I replied to him as the smoke cleared.

"Or, we can do this the pirate way."

We had a fair audience of civilian ponies, as well Frost Snap and Tythus. The guard captain was about to intrude, but the mayor held him off, saying it was a duel and he shouldn't interfere. Apparently, the mayor figured this was my attempt at killing Echo, and wanted it to go smoothly. Bellows was also watching, probably hoping to see how well his armor fared. Echo drew his spear, while I held the wide flat of Hades towards him in defense. We stared each other down, and I motioned to Gilda to stay out of the fight, Echo did the same to Daring.

"This is my fight. Stay out of it." The two of them just looked at each other and scowled, threatening to start their own scuffle if the other so much as looked at them wrong. They were also ready to jump into the brawl the moment the other tried to interfere. I have to say, having the guts to take on an armed griffin with nothing but a whip and hat, I'm impressed. They were promptly separated by the guards.

"Got it." They replied annoyed. In situations like these, it's best to just let us fight it out, rather than getting themselves involved. I could tell they were disappointed. Daring was never one to back down from a fight, and Gilda was always up for staining her claws with blood.

You could hear a pin drop as the crowd waited for us to begin. Slowly we circled each other, sizing each other up. He was a full two heads taller than me, and more muscular, but my sword and various other weapons gave me an advantage, as well as having the lower center of gravity. Echo's claws glowing with a faint light seemed eerie, unnatural.

I moved first, using Hades like a shield and charging him, colliding with him and pushing him to the wall. He pushed against my blade with his massive paws, trying to push back. He couldn't twist the blade from my grasp, as he couldn't hold the edge without getting cut. He had no grip on it. He crouched low and kicked me, sending my towards the crowd which darted out of the way. I quickly controlled my fall and got back to my paws. Standing on my hind legs, taking my blade in both hands, I assumed a side stance with it, flapping my wings for balance. He seemed confused by this, as to why a quadruped would take a bipedal stance, and eyed me inquisitively, trying to figure me out. He took a lower stance, clicking his claws together until they caught ablaze.

'Even though I heard about it before, It's really surprising to see it. Too bad for him that his move will make no difference to my blade.'

Echo thrust with his spear, over and over, each time the tip simply bouncing off the flat of my blade uselessly as he circled around, trying to find a weak spot. Seemingly frustrated by the lack of progress he was getting with his weapon, he threw it to the side and began slashing frantically at me, each time his claws being blocked. He stopped for a moment to inspect, becoming confused as to why he hadn't damaged my blade at all. During his momentary distraction, I flew up, dove down, did a somersault and smacked him on the back of his head with it. Unfortunately, it was only a grazing blow and did not have nearly as much of an effect. It still sent him stumbling. Considering that he couldn't get around my defense and he couldn't get through it, he decided he'd smash right into it and try to crush me with it.

Echo jumped into the air, balled his paw into a fist, still blazing, wound his arm up, then came crashing down at me. His fist collided with the flat of my blade, sending vibrations all through my arms as I struggled to keep my guard up. The flames washed over me, thankfully blocked by the blade they went around, leaving only a couple of my feathers with blackened tips. Realizing that he had finally gotten serious, I intended to do so as well. I dropped Hades, causing Echo to fall by the sudden lack of resistance, reached into my pack, and threw a vial of knockout gas at him. It smashed on his face, the fumes wrapping around him. Slowly, he fell to his knees. I drew Hades from the ground and pointed it at his face.

"Looks like I win Echo." Frost Snap looked very pleased. Then shocked. To my surprise, when I tried to move my blade, I found that I could not. Blood was coming from Echo's cheeks. He had bitten down on the tip of the blade and was holding it there. His jaws were locked on it. Despite being a creature that eats gems, the blade did not crack or break. It's edge did not even dull in his maw. I pulled back on it and punched him, causing a single bloody tooth to fall out of his mouth. He then turned and struck me, his flaming fist catching me on fire.

"I'm burning! I'm burning! Somebody! Water! Help me out here! I'm on fire!" I yelled as I ran around ablaze. Echo did some kind of silent laugh, while Daring had fallen over in hysterics, as did most of the crowd. Thankfully, Frost Snap decided to intervene at that point, using his ice magic to put out the flame..... as well as freeze my feet to the ground.

"Whew, thanks Frosty." The mayor gave a huff then walked off, obviously disappointed that I failed to kill Echo, even though that wasn't the intent. Besides, if I had decided to, I would have done exactly this. Have a friendly duel to figure out what I was up against. I'll have to talk to him later.

"So, now you tell me what I want to know." Echo wrote after his claws extinguished, yet pointed at me while I was frozen in place.

"Yeah, you won I guess. You held your breath when I gave you the knockout gas. Smart move." Come on, change the subject. Please work.

"I figured you'd try something like that when you used a smoke bomb. You're rather clever. Can't figure out why I couldn't bite through your sword though. Yes! He's going off on a tangent! Now I just need to free my feet.

"Dragon scale. The thing can cut diamond if I swing it hard enough. Have to say, last thing I expected when I came to Equestria was getting Falcon Punched by a diamond dog." As soon as I said that, Echo's eyes went wide, as if he had just seen a ghost.

"How do you know about Captain Falcon?" He asked. I stood there for a second, letting it sink in.

"How do you?"

"Er."

"Um."

"Uh."

For a couple minutes, we both stood there, stumbling with our words, fighting the obvious conclusion. Every time we tried to ask the other something, it just came out wrong. You try asking someone if they're an alien.

*Loading*

*Done*

'Equestrians don't know about memes. He does. Therefore, he is not an Equestrian. Well shit. Not positive, but there is one way to make sure without making myself out to be a total idiot.'

"Um, tell me Echo...... Bananas, do you like them?"

"What?"

"I asked, do you like, mmmmmm, bananas?" I didn't think it was possible for his eyes to go any wider at that moment. Gilda and Daring looked at the two of us wondering just what the hell bananas had to do with anything.

"I know where you can go bananas." Holy shit! I'm right! What the hell! After thinking several more random curses, we both looked to the sky and saw the full moon, hanging there. The two of us pointed dramatically towards it, he wrote and I yelled,

"ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAA BEEEEEEEEYYYYAAAAATCHH!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" Gilda punched me in the back of the head while the entire rest of the crowd looked at us awkwardly.

"Ow. Okay, I'll explain later, once we're in private. I need to talk with Echo first..... alone." I whispered to my companion.

"Alright folks, nothing to see here, shows over, it's time for the grown ups to talk. Move along, move along." I carefully ushered the crowd away until all that remained was Tythus, Gilda, Echo, myself, and Bellows.

"Y'all are crazy, I'm out of here." The smith said before wandering off back to his forge.

"Griffin, Echo, would you mind explaining just what in the blue blazes happened here?" Tythus demanded, giving me a dirty look.

"His name's Edge captain." Daring piped up.

"Nope, that was a lie, I'm kind of supposed to be under cover. Hi, nice to meet you Daring Do, the name is Griffin the Griffin, don't ask. This is Gilda."

"Wait, that's Gilda, as in GILDA Gilda?"

"Yep, and Trixie is in the medical tent. The two of us need to talk alone, would you mind leaving us? Gilda, just don't gush too much with Daring, I know you're her biggest fan." She scowled and flipped me the middle claw before flying off with Tythus and Daring back to the barracks, leaving me and Echo alone.

"So, human, what's your real name?" I asked.

"Just, call me Echo. I'm not a human anymore. That's my old life, and it's gone. You?"

"Understandable. My name really is Griffin, it's just irony that I am one." Echo gave a smirk.

"How'd you get here?"

"Some old dude in a net café snapped his fingers."

"Discord punted me out of my universe. I should have known it was him, he was rather obvious when I think about it."

"My guy was completely unassuming. All he did is ask me questions like if I'd miss my family and friends, and when I said no, he said 'Off you go!' and that was it. If Discord is Sheogorath, my guy was Jygalagg."

"That's one way to put it."

Echo then explained that he woke up in the temple of chaos, met Daring Do, killed Ahuizotl after getting his throat ripped out, saved Daring, and now was stuck helping Wethoof out with it's hydra problem.

"Pfft, Mary Sue."

"Am not."

"Are to."

"Oh, well then, what have YOU been doing?"

"Well, first I woke up in some.... Celestia...... forsaken desert, was unconscious for a day or so while Gilda looked out for me. Then I killed a dragon by flying down it's throat. Then a bunch of diamond dog slavers. After hearing Gilda's sob story about being a slave and all, I decided to take over the whole damn northern province. Hmm, then I went to Ponyville, ended up making Pinkie and RD cry...." At which point, I found myself lying on the ground, looking up at a VERY angry Echo.

"WHOA! Hold on there! Let me at least explain! Since I got here, the fact that my name is ironic has been a source of unending annoyance. I made Pinkie Pie Pinkie Promise not to laugh at my name. Given that she's the element of laughter, it was kind of a bad idea. So, she broke her promise, then started crying."

"That doesn't explain Dash." If he had vocal chords, he'd be growling.

"Well, she thought I was Gilda and came back and made Pinkie cry, so she beat me up. Yeah, I got my ass kicked by Rainbow Dash. Then she molested me. Before I came to Equestria, I had a....... bad life. Like, really bad."

"Bullies?"

"Yeah. So, I kind of blew my fuse at her. I ended up apologizing and telling her my story, minus the different world bit. She still never said sorry for accidentally raping me. Then I fled Ponyville after I stole some books from Twilight's library. Before you say anything, I was gonna pay for them, but they weren't for sale. I REALLY need them though."

"I never thought RD would be like that. I don't know whether to laugh at you or be jealous. Why didn't you just buy the books at a book store?"

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but ponies are..... well.... they're racist okay? Most of the stores I go to, I get kicked out of without even doing anything. The only way I can get the things I need is dealing with sleazy characters. Black market and con artists. Books are NOT contraband, so finding a place that is accepting of different cultures, namely Ponyville, was my only option. In that place, they weren't for sale, so I had no choice but to steal them. I'll be sure to return them one day, or pay for them, when I eventually see her again. Anyway, where was I?"

"After Ponyville?"

"Right, so, I went to Stalliongrad and got arrested for carrying a weapon. Non ponies carrying arms is illegal there. Again, racist. That's where I met Trixie. After the whole ursa thing, she couldn't get a job and took to stealing to live. She got caught and thrown in jail. Me and Gilda busted her out and she joined the team. Then we saved Blueblood from some diamond dog slavers, found out there's some prophecy of a diamong dog, except he's a wolf or something that goes around killing dragons and is gonna take over Gem Fido or something. I don't know. Then Trix caught jungle fever and we brought her here for treatment. That brings me to my business with you."

"Let me guess, in exchange for her life, the mayor is blackmailing you into killing me?"

"That's the gist of it, yeah. He figures you're gonna get Ginger killed. He let us in, knowing we're pirates, because griffins hate diamond dogs. He was hoping I'd get rid of you. For the sake of making things go smoothly, I'm gonna tell him I can beat you, and I'll deal with you during the hydra fight. Then, after I fail to do so, I'll have my own dogs kidnap Trixie from the medical ward and we'll scram."

"Well, everyone but Daring thinks I'm from a far off country, what about you?"

"Gilda and Trix know I'm an interdimensional alien, and I directly-indirectly told Twilight that, so I'm sure the rest of the mane six and the princesses know. Judging from the event timeline, I got here within a day of you arriving, either before or after. Maybe the dimensional barrier was weak or something and all the gods pulling the strings decided to send their pawns on the same day. At least you know who sent you. As for my team, they know I'm from another world, but they don't know about bronies. I'm not about to tell them that their entire world is fiction in my own."

"Disarray explained that Discord watched our world, and that we're actually more chaotic than he is, so he brought me here to stir things up. Which means that it's not fiction, despite the fact that we're drawn. I mean, we have outlines for goodness sake."

"Sounds like he should have picked me instead. Wait, who's Disarray?" at which point something that looked like Discord, although a little smaller, with lobster claws and such popped up and gave a bow.

"OOOOH I've never seen a genie like this before!"

"Don't, he's fully aware of the internet, and unless you want to get lazored, I suggest you stop right there."

"Oh, that's no fun! You shouldn't have warned him! Hello Griffin, I am Disarray." He gave a bow.

"Yeah, okay, so a draconnequuis with a flowing mane. Glad to know Celestia did THAT. Thanks for the disturbing mental image."

"You're welcome!" Disarray laughed. "What WAS my father thinking bringing you here Echo? Griffin would have been a MUCH better choice for his goals, whatever they are."

"Right, this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder. A diamond dog who's actually a human, Discord and Celestia's son. Maybe you should head back to the barracks. When they ask what the hell is going on with the two of us, just tell them that we're from the same place, go way back, and we didn't recognize each other because it's been so long. I have to go lie to the mayor." They agreed, Disarray vanishing and Echo heading back to the cabin.

"Mayor Frost Snap, a griffin is here to see you."

"Send him in."

"Hey Frosty, what's up?" Time to annoy the hell out of him.

"I see you failed in your attempt to slay Echo. I am not impressed Griffin, not impressed at all. You played around too much. You could have killed him several times easily and you simply let it go."

"Do you not remember what I said previously? I never head into anything without gathering information and planning it out first. If I had killed him there, I would have been run out of town. That would not have been a good idea since one of my crew members is still in the infirmary. I was testing the waters if you will. Have a 'friendly' duel to test his strength, see how he fights, without any risk. I now know for a fact that I CAN kill him, meaning when we go out together to fight the hydras, I can cause a little accident quite easily. You really ought to have more faith in me. Given that, thanks for putting out the fire. Feathers burn rather easily. It wouldn't do for me to be running around without any."

"You truly are not an average griffin. Although, wouldn't he now know how to fight you as well?" Frost Snap asked.

"Shows what you know. I was playing. It was a bit rough, but I didn't give away any of my secrets, other than that I don't play fair. He knows I have smoke bombs and knockout gas, and that he can't get past my sword. If all goes according to plan, and knowing me, it will, he'll be dead before he knows I'm attacking him."

"I'm sorry for ever doubting you." The mayor stated, impressed at my foresight.

"Never forget it. By the way, stage two is complete. I've earned his trust. It'll make it much easier to deal with him since he'll cooperate with me. I'll be off now. It's time for dinner."

"Oh, one more thing. I'm not at all impressed at the fact that you lied to me. Echo happens to be a key element in the defense of this settlement. If I had killed him before and your daughter's hospital stay took longer than expected, you'd be in a heap of trouble. All it would take for that gunpowder to be useless is a bit of rain. Considering we're in a rain forest, that's a big risk. I'm glad I know what I'm doing. Giving me a job with no info at all, making me waste time trying to figure out something you could have told me right from the start, it gives me less time to prepare other things, and that pisses me off."

"So, he's from the same place as you are Echo? With all the hairless monkeys?" Tythus asked.

"Yeah, he basically explained that the mayor wants me dead and is holding Trixie's life over him on it. That's the only reason he's here. He was actually surprised to see me. We didn't recognize each other at first. As for the moon thing, it's an inside joke. You wouldn't get it." Gilda face palmed. Daring face hoofed. Tythus just listened.

"So, I suppose he won't be causing any trouble then?" The commander asked.

"No, he'll behave himself. Our kind has a bit of an understanding. You don't need to worry about him anymore. All the trouble he got in before was actually the result of ponies treating him poorly because he's a griffin."

"Hmm, sounds familiar." Coconut added. At that moment, the doors opened.

"Ah, there you all are." I walked over to the group of Gilda, Tythus, Coconut, Daring, and Echo sitting at a table. I was stopped by guards who were quite upset at the trouble I had caused earlier, even though Echo was the one who attacked me. Tythus motioned for them to let me through. The civilians glared at me the whole way over there. Fighting against the voice of the people gives you a bad reputation, not that I care but it makes certain things more difficult.

"So, what's for eats?" After listing off a number of pony only dishes, the waiter finally got to the ones I could eat, I chose an omelette, which I then scarfed down with haste as soon as it arrived.

"So, I take it Echo explained what's going on?"

"Yes, except what you're going to do." Tythus replied. "Considering that Ginger Snap will be back on her hooves tonight, and we'll be ready for the hydra's tomorrow, he's going to be expecting results."

"I've already got that taken care of. If the reinforcements come before the hydras, I'll just grab Trixie and bail. If the hydras show up before the guard, then I'll be airlifting Echo and Ginger out of the danger zone after they set off the fireworks. After the whole thing goes up in flames, I'll be cleaning up anything that survived. Just make sure that when two diamond dogs go in the medical tent that nobody stops them. We'll be out of your hair before the celebration starts."

"Kind of a shame, first time I see an old friend, he's a damn pirate and he's gotta bail as soon as he's done."

"Yeah, but what are you gonna do right?"

"What do you mean old friend? You act like you know each other, and at the same time, you don't." Daring asked. Echo began to explain, but given that he'd have to do so in two different written languages, I decided to do it.

"While we may not know each other personally, we both come from a certain group of individuals that were all brought together by a certain cause. The purpose was to make the world a better place. So even though we may not actually know each other, we're cut from the same cloth, which is why we say 'old friend.' Even though we've never spoken before, he knows me better than you and Trixie do."

"So, you really are just a big softy after all aren't you? 'Life sucks, I wanna make the world a better place!' That's rich. YOU, out of everyone, wanting to make the world a better place." Gilda elbowed me.

"Ah shut up. Besides, you know the plan, what do you think would happen if we succeed?" I shot back. Only myself and Gilda knew exactly what we were gonna do, with Trixie, the dogs, and now Echo being aware of the goal.

"Well, I'm going back to camp. Gotta keep the dogs in line." Gilda then left and flew back to our camp. She was just pissed off that I had a reply to her snide remark.

"I'm going to get some shuteye as well. We've got a big day tomorrow." Tythus then left.

"I should get back to the kitchen." Coconut left.

"I'm off to bed. Don't stay up too late you two." Daring scolded.

"Yes mom." I replied with a smile. She scowled.

"So, is there a reason why you had me stick around afterwards?" Echo asked.

"Yep, it's time to write a letter to the princess."

"Wait, what? But I thought you were a pirate? What are you doing writing letters to Celestia?"

"And Luna. As for what.... trolling."

"You can't be serious."

"I am. I asked her what the airspeed of an unladen swallow was, which she surprisingly told me to specify the type, and the other day I asked Luna if she's ever mooned anyone. I haven't actually sent that letter yet. I usually send a group of them all at once whenever I get a chance. Let's see."

Dear Princess Celestia,

I met your son today. Discord locked him up for 2000 years over a misunderstanding. What kind of villain locks up family for two millenia over a little spat? Anyway, that's not the point.

Do you like bananas?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Really? Isn't that kind of.... mean? I mean, she'll be thinking about Luna on that one."

"In case you didn't know, I AM kind of an asshole. Alright, now you write one." I passed him the quill and parchment.

"I'm not sure."

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!"

Echo looked at it thoughfully before he began to write.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Where I come from, there is a saying about those who find themselves graced with the opportunity to do great things: "Speak softly, but carry a big stick."

Well, I can't speak at all, and my spear is taller than me.

It is unlikely that you have heard of me, and I could care less if you have. I do not bow to your sovereignty, as I am not a natural-born denizen of your realm.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to move on to do something great. I am exploring your territory - Princess, and I mean the entirety of it - in the name of Science and Exploration. Should you see fit to assist me, I would not turn it down, and all findings and observations recorded on the expedition will give a small tribute to you.

I look forward to encountering you one day, and hope that we may meet as friends, for we have much to discuss, indeed.

Oh, yes, before I forget. My feathery compatriot here, one "Griffin the Griffin," (odd name, is it not?) has asked me to mess with you. As I always love a good joke, I shall oblige.

Have a riddle: I have two coins. They add up to thirty bits total. One of them is not a nickel.

Sincerely, Echo the Diamond Dog

P.S. - LUNA IS BEST PONY! BWA-HAHAHAHAA!

"Feathery compatriot? Speak softly and carry a big stick?" I slammed my head on the table.

"I do not have any qualms about the way you write your letters, why do you care how I write mine?"

"Fine, point taken. Still, what did you major in, liberal arts? Hey Disarray!" At which point the Draconnequuis-Alicorn cross appeared in a poof.

"For my FIRST wish, I wish for all these letters to be sent to Princess Celestia, and for her to burp them out like Spike. See how she likes it."

"Only if you stop calling me a genie. And what about the magic words?" He mocked.

"Alright, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, I won't call you a genie anymore. The joke was getting old anyways. Now, can you please send these letters to your mother?" I batted my eyelashes, to which he gave an annoyed huff, clacked his lobster claw, and off they went.

Art by Netikras01 on Deviantart.

Rust was the the one who wrote Echo's letter.

More Letters and Other Side (20)

More Letters and Other Side

"Now, as I was saying commander, to deal with the rising hydra problem in the south, I have already *buuuuuurp* Oh, oh my." Celestia turned pink, much like the toy sold in stores that they still haven't fixed yet. She burped again and again, as a total of four scrolls popped from her mouth in green flame and sat on the table.

"Princess, are you alright?" A guard adorned with medals and such asked.

"Yes, commander, it seems to have passed, although I now have things I must discuss with my sister. Know that the problem on the frontier will be taken care of in short order. Please excuse me."

Floating the letters towards the reading room, Princess Celestia started a fire in the hearth and called her sister to her.

"Look Lulu! We have more mail!"

"And the reason you got me up three hours before I have to raise the moon?" Luna asked with a frown.

"Because it's not from Twilight!" At hearing that, Luna was wide awake and literally jumped into position on the couch, excited to see what public enemy number one had written them.

"Sister, aren't we getting a little excited to see what we're getting from the most wanted criminal in Equestria?" Celestia asked.

"Who cares, it's fun! Open it! Openitopenitopenit!"

"Alright! Alright, first one is for me."

Dear Princess Celestia,

You are a terrible liar. If you don't know, then just say so. I'm not here to judge. Also, it's no fun if I just TELL you what I'm doing, you have to figure it out on your own. Let me guess, you had Twilight do it. Also, when you sent me the letter, I burped it out like Spike. What's up with that? Also also,

If a unicorn sits in a chair, then uses magic to lift said chair, will they be able to fly?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Hmm, no, I didn't ask Twilight to figure out his motives, I really should. She's a bright filly. He figured out that we were lying to him on the hooves and magnets thing. It was kind of a weak lie. He burped the letter out like Spike?"

"That's hilarious!" Luna giggled, imagining the grumpy and stern pirate captain burping up scrolls.

"If a unicorn sits in a chair, uses magic to lift the chair, would they fly? Well, wouldn't they need a solid ground point to push off, I mean......."

"WEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeee" Cried Luna as she sailed around the study in circles on a flying chair, coming ever closer then farther from her sister, until she crashed into a shelf and buried herself in fallen books. "That was fun! I'm glad he keeps asking us these questions!"

"I swear, you are such a foal sometimes, now, next letter is... huh?" Celestia was startled as another letter appeared, this time the normal way. She opened it and read.

Dear Princess Celesta,
In regards to 'Griffin the griffin', I believe I have determined his goal. He intends to incite a slave rebellion to free the griffins from captivity in Gem Fido, and murder a large number of dragons in order to decrease the population, which will in turn stabilize the northern provinces. There must be another, nonviolent, way to achieve this, and so we have set out after the Griffin Pirates in an attempt to sway them to peaceful means. We have also discovered that in all likelyhood, Griffin is actually an alien who came to our world to escape his own, only to find that outside of Equestria is the same as the world he left, and so decided to do something about it. This however, is only a theory, and while the probability of the existence of aliens is unlikely, it is possible, and this theory at the moment makes the most sense. Wish us luck on our quest.

Sincerely, your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Ps, I am still unaware as to the mechanism behind how we hold things without fingers. While I believe it may be a magic field similar to magnetism, centered around the hoof, I must run more tests. Magnets however, work by having unpaired electrons all spinning in the same direction, creating a field. I did not have to research that, it was in atomic physics 101.

After reading the letter, both princesses sat there in awe.

"So, even Twilight doesn't know for certain how the hoof thing works, and Griffin had the foresight to assume she would attempt to figure out his motivations, but an alien? Has Equestria been visited by beings from another world? If true, this is incredible, and also disturbing. If Griffin truly is from a different planet, the fact that he is here means that others could also find their way. In the worst case scenario, it would mean invasion. I don't believe that this is the case however. Twilight does have an.... overactive... mind. There is a reasonable explanation for all this, we just haven't found it. No point in berating her on her theories though. We'll just have to capture him and get the answers straight from his beak." The sun princess mused.

"Alright, so the next letter then. Also for me, well, aren't I popular today?"

Dear Princess Celestia,

I met your son today. Discord locked him up for 2000 years over a misunderstanding. What kind of villain locks up family for two millenia over a little spat? Anyway, that's not the point.

Do you like bananas?

Sincerely, Griffin.

At this point, Luna's face was blank, while Celestia was near tears.

"Um, Celly?" The younger asked.

"He, he, he, HOW DARE HE!" She boomed.

"Sister?"

"Griffin the griffin is a menace to society! He must be punished!"

"Calm down! It's alright. It's alright. Listen, it's okay. What happened between us is over, and it was much more than a little spat. You did what you needed to do. I wasn't myself, and you tore yourself up over it for far too long. I already forgave you for it, even though there was nothing to forgive. His words may be hurtful, but I think if we look at it, this is his way of telling us to let go. All of his letters have been attempts at trying to break us, make us let go of ourselves. This one is something we NEED to let go of." Luna cooed to her older sister. Having to banish her only friend in the world for a thousand years was still a terrible wound on her heart, something Griffin had casually opened up.

"I'm sorry for that outburst Luna, it's just, sending you away was the hardest thing I've ever done, and he's making a mockery of it. That and the fact that Discord took away the only other family I ever had being brought up, all the while with the Wethoof hydra problem, it's just, it's not easy. Everypony looks to me to know what to do, and I have to make the right decision every single time, or else the innocent suffer for it. Countless times I've looked to the other stars in the sky and begged of them, 'Tell me what to do!' and they never answer." Celestia poured her heart out.

"It's alright. I'm here now, and your son has been freed from whatever bound him. It's time to look to a brighter future." Luna comforted her.

"Disarray, you just left one day and didn't say anything. I always wondered where you went, even if I never showed it, I loved you. You were my son....... If Discord locked him up, it was because he tried to stop him from destroying the world. Then we sealed Discord in stone. I, I haven't seen my son in two thousand years. It, it's good to know that he's okay." Celestia wept bitterly. She would never show her emotions to others, this was the one time she broke down.

"Well, that explains why you burped out the letters." Luna giggled. Celestia caught the giggles from her, and pretty soon they both began to laugh, having forgotten the pain the letter had brought them.

"Alright, one for you."

Dear Princess Luna,

Have you ever mooned someone?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Luna just blushed furiously while stuttering incoherently.

"How did he know about that time you were a filly at flight school?" Celestia mocked.

"You swore you'd never speak of that again! He truly is a menace!" Luna scoffed. Celestia began laughing first this time.

"Alright, last one. This one is written differently. Odd."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Where I come from, there is a saying about those who find themselves graced with the opportunity to do great things: "Speak softly, but carry a big stick."

Well, I can't speak at all, and my spear is taller than me.

It is unlikely that you have heard of me, and I could care less if you have. I do not bow to your sovereignty, as I am not a natural-born denizen of your realm.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to move on to do something great. I am exploring your territory - Princess, and I mean the entirety of it - in the name of Science and Exploration. Should you see fit to assist me, I would not turn it down, and all findings and observations recorded on the expedition will give a small tribute to you.

I look forward to encountering you one day, and hope that we may meet as friends, for we have much to discuss, indeed.

Oh, yes, before I forget. My feathery compatriot here, one "Griffin the Griffin," (odd name, is it not?) has asked me to mess with you. As I always love a good joke, I shall oblige.

Have a riddle: I have two coins. They add up to thirty bits total. One of them is not a nickel.

Sincerely, Echo the Diamond Dog

P.S. - LUNA IS BEST PONY! BWA-HAHAHAHAA!

"And now a diamond dog is sending us letters as well." The older princess stated.

"I thought they were illiterate?" The younger asked.

"They are. This 'Echo' seems rather well refined for a pony, let alone a diamond dog."

"Perhaps because he is a mute?" Luna suggested.

"Indeed, with his writing, it sounds as though he is insulting us, while at the same time remaining respectful. He say's he does not care about us, then indirectly asks for assistance in exploring our realm..... curious. Now the riddle, I have two coins. They add up to thirty bits total. One of them is not a nickel. If one is not a nickle, then how do they add up to thirty? We have no fifteen bit coins." Celestia thought.

"He said ONE of them is not a nickle. So one's a nickle, the other is a quarter. Come on, you can't have lost your wit have you?" The night princess stated.

"Aha and, Luna is best pony? WHAT?!?!?" Celestia raged.

"First Pipsqueak, and now Echo the diamond dog. Looks like I'm the new favorite. Better look out sister, pretty soon I'll be replacing you, bwahahahaha!" With that, Luna walked out of Celestia's study, swishing her tail merrily at the fact that she now had two admirers.

Meanwhile, just outside Ponyville.

"Eh, Twi, are y'all sure this was a good idea? We're 12 days away from Stalliongrad. Ah mean, they're a pair of griffins, they can fly, we can't. They're gonna be travelling faster than us. How do ya expect us ta catch em?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I could be there in like, a minute, but I've got all you slow pokes holding me back." Dash bragged.

"Quiet this instant Rainbow Dash, you are the fastest flyer in Equestria. Just because you are more expedient then the rest of us does not make us slow." Rarity scolded.

"We'll just have to outsmart them! We'll head to where they're going so that we arrive before they do!" Twilight proclaimed.

"Except that we don't know where they're headed." Applejack, ever the voice of reason.

"Well, they went down the east coast. If we are right about their plan, they'll head up the west. There's a small settlement at the edge of the Volcanic Wastes, a hot spring giving fresh water, the sulfur making for excellent plant growth. It's actually why the jungle grows so well without earth ponies looking after it. They will probably stop there before heading back to Equestria and finally Gem Fido. Now, the wastes are normally a haven for criminal activity, but......." Twilight explained before trailing off.

"But, all those ghastly dragons migrated there. They will have all skipped town. I hope that the criminal filth get caught." Rarity scoffed.

"It also means that we'll have him trapped between a rock and a hard place, or dragon and group of ponies in this case. Then we can nab him and haul him back to Canterlot to face his crimes!" The purple unicorn decreed, taking a dramatic stance and her mane blowing in an unseen breeze.

"I, I hope he isn't mean....." Fluttershy whimpered.

"Oh trust me, he's mean! He's a great big mean meanie pants! He's also funny! I asked him if he wanted to be my friend, and he said 'I'm afraid not', then threw me a FRAYED KNOT!" Pinkie giggled as she shook the piece of rope in her mouth like a wild animal.

"Pinkie, that doesn't even make any sense! How can he bear one of the aspects of friendship like laughter when he doesn't have any friends? I mean, he's an unkind, greedy, grumpy, disloyal, lying PIRATE! I can't believe I actually thought he was telling the truth with his alien thing. He probably knew I'd freak out and used it to escape with my books!" Twilight was mad. All the rest just nodded. Griffin symbolized the exact opposite of the very things they cherished.

"Here Echo, want some gems? I sold most of the supply to the town for bits, but I saved some for ya. Well, you and my own hounds. They deserve a break every now and then. No no, I won't let you pay for them. It's a gift for thinking of killing you. Well, once we save the town, I'll have to leave right away. I'll probably be chased by the reinforcements coming and besides, I don't want to be seen as a hero. Last thing I need is some kiddos going around playing pirate. It's dangerous, and I don't want anyone getting hurt who doesn't need to. Don't worry, when we get in the thick of things, you can count on me. I won't leave you hanging. Our kind gotta stick together! Mayor still thinks I'm gonna off you in the hydra fight. I feel kinda bad about lying, but what are ya gonna do right? Rock and a hard place."

I had gotten drunk for the first time. I've had alcohol before, but never in excess. Having found another brony, it was cause for celebration, and so Gilda and myself went back to Wethoof for a small party in the barracks. Echo had hard cider, while I settled for vodka. Cider burns my throat, and so I don't care for it. Vodka however is one of the greatest things ever invented, especially when you're drunk on it. Gilda wasn't too happy about me giving away the gems, but considering I was the one who earned them, and I let her buy whatever she wanted anyway (She bought a biker jacket and a bandolier for her chems, she looked freaking HOT HOT HOT in it. Other than that, we bought six pairs of sunglasses, one for each of my crew and one for Echo.) so she wasn't really in any position to complain about me getting drunk or giving him most of the remainder of our unconverted income. She actually loosened up a bit.

Daring was a bit daring and took to chugging, which caused her to pass out and landed her a one way ticket on the hangover express tomorrow morning. Echo didn't seem at all phased by the alcohol, and Ginger Snap, who was now out of the hospital, didn't look too impressed at the fact that we were all getting plastered before the important job tomorrow. She kindly informed me that Trixie would be out of the med tent in another day or so. Even Tythus joined us for a bit, although being a stick in the mud he only had one drink before hitting the sack. All in all, it was a good evening. Okay, so I've never had any friends to hang out and go drinking with, and I may have gone a bit overboard. Sue me. Actually don't. My brain will punish me enough when I wake up tomorrow.

Another good thing about Equestria, no licenses. It's a good thing too, or else I would have been pulled over for flying under the influence. Me and Gilda flew Ditzy Do-style back to the camp, threw Etch and Growl the rest of the gems, telling them to knock themselves out, curled up, and went to sleep.

"Okay, so once we pass through Amareica, we head west to Bitsburg, then follow the shore south to Tailton springs. Then, we just keep an eye out for them. Here's hoping we get there before they do." Twilight explained to the route to the rest of the group.

"Ever wonder why all the cities and towns and stuff have pony related names? PONYville, TROTtingham, CANTERlot, HOOFtin, BITsburg, aMAREica, TAILton Springs? It's like the pony in charge of naming things thought it would be funny to put pony puns in them all." Pinkie asked.

"Pinkie, I think it's better to just NOT ask those questions, or else you end up spending your entire life trying to figure it out and getting nowhere. Then you wind up crazy. Twilight replied.

"Like Lyra?" She asked.

"Like Lyra." She confirmed as she folded up the map and put it away.

"Wait a minute, where did I just put that? I don't HAVE saddlebags on! GAAAAAAAAAAAH! If I ever find out who asked the princess about the hoof thing I swear I'll..... I don't know what I'll do! Now I'm seeing everything like that!"

"*Achoo!* Uh, I hope I'm not coming down with something. Must have been the alcohol. Great, Mr. Migraine is here. Crap." As I got up, I noticed that in the middle of the night, Gilda had cozy'd up to me. Probably not meaning to, cute nonetheless. Of course, my brain kicked in that I was falling for the bitch griffin who just about everybody hated, but they hadn't seen this side of her. I have. I stretched myself out, drank the dew off a banana leaf, and once it was dry, put it over her as a blanket. I took my dragon teeth out, as well as several left over bits of reinforced thread that Etch and Growl had gotten back when I first made my harness. I carefully put holes in each of the teeth, threading a string through each. Eight necklaces. There were three teeth on mine, each of the others only having one. I put one next to Gilda, one next to Etch, one next to Growl, and put one in my pack for Trixie when I saw her tomorrow. I had three left.

"So, eight members total. Three more. I need a potion maker. That's one. What's missing? I need two more. What is missing? We don't need a musician, after all, the endless charm of my singing voice shall serve that purpose, and here, everyone just breaks out in song anyway. The music comes on it's own. I suppose we could use a chef, but it's not really necessary since I can do that too. A DOCTOR! We need to have a medic, although the potion maker might double as that. It depends on what I can get. And a craftsman...pony...dog....whatever. Someone to make and maintain arms and armor. So, apothecary/alchemist, doctor, and crafting specialist. Three more crew members. Bleurgh. Of course, they have to know how to fight too, or they won't be very helpful."

"What'cha thinkin about?" Gilda got up, apparently, the banana leaf blanket made her too hot.

"Crew members. Put the necklace on. It means you're part of the crew. One for you, one for me, two for the dogs, one Trix, remainder three. One for the potion maker, yet to meet, one for the one who knows how to heal. One for a crafter, crew complete, by the worker of leather, stitch, and steel."

"You're speaking in rhyme again. You're worried, aren't you?" She asked.

"Yeah. Not about fighting the hydra's, we'll kick ass. I mean, we have sunglasses now, it's impossible to lose. I'm worried about Trix. What I'd really like is for her to get better, then we kill the hydras and bail before the reinforcements arrive. We've been lucky so far. Everything has just... fallen into place. No, I'm sure we'll pull this off. It's the future I'm worried about. Echo is the same as me. He's from the same place, sent here by Discord. I'm not sure about the one who sent me. What other forces are at work here? Are we mere playthings for the divine? Yeah, I could beat Echo, but that's only because he never had to fight till he got here, and I did. He's an alpha. The other alphas will know how to fight. If they're as strong as he is, I'm gonna die."

"And now you've gotten philosophical, you're depressed. What happened to, go as far as you can, and if you die along the way then you do?" Gilda inquired.

"Just because I've been around pain and stared death in the face more times than I can count doesn't mean I'm just gonna walk into it if I can avoid it. In case you didn't know, dying sucks. I've slowly been dying on the inside for years. I have a reason to live now! I have a purpose. I wanna succeed! I wanna be the one who looks at the corruption, grabs it in my own two hands, and snaps it's neck! There's a storm coming. If I go sailing on it, I want my ship to be in top shape. I need to step up my game. Gimme that damn chemistry book."

She passed me the tome, which I flipped through, searching. Holding a candle up to it, I began looking for something I recognized. Something I knew. When I found it, I let out a near maniacal laugh.

"Yesssssss." I hissed as I pulled out two vials, as well as some of the basic compounds that I had Etch and Growl dig up for me in their spare time. In the smaller vial, I put aluminium, iron oxide, and sodium, sealed it, and put it in the larger vial, which I then filled with water. "My guardian star is the Mythbusters."

"What does that mean? What did you make?" Gilda asked, a little bit afraid of me in my partly drunken state.

"Do not question drunk science!" My outburst woke the rest of the camp. Etch and Growl lumbered over to me to look at what I had made. I quickly told them to put the necklaces on, then had them gather around.

"Do you want to see some pretty lights?" They all nodded. Gilda air lifted the dogs in the usual manner. We flew a small distance from camp to where a lone tree stood in the middle of the are that had been cut down. That was my target. I flew at it at high speed, throwing the double vial as hard as I could before pulling away. It shattered on the tree, as did the one inside. The sodium mixed with the water, creating a spark, which then caused a reaction with the aluminium and iron oxide. It lit up brightly, causing Gilda and the dogs to cover their eyes while I stared right at it with my sunglasses on. After all was said and done, they looked at the smoldering stump that had once been a tree.

"WHAT. THE. HELL?" They all asked in unison.

"When you're drunk, you forget things. Sometimes when you forget things, you remember other things. I got drunk, forgot my confidence momentarily, but remembered how to make thermite. Thermite is.... well.... it's basically portable lava. A little creativity on the trigger reaction, and we now have a very safe bomb capable of melting through steel. If the first vial breaks, then nothing happens, if both do, whatever is in the immediate area and directly underneath gets turned into a steaming pile of molten slag. We will be using these to murder the crap out of everything. They also work as an excellent flare! Aluminium and iron are ridiculously easy to find, all you need is a spark, which is what the sodium and water is for. We can mix it with clay to make it moldable so it can stick in place. Gilda, since you're the ranger, you'll be carrying a lot of them. You dogs too. You can dig underground, so you can act like sappers and spies." Giggle, spy, sapper. SPAH SAPPIN MAH DOMINION!

"This will chew right through any armor, as long as it's not dragon scale. Replace some of your arrow heads with these by sticking the tip into the vial's cork. Each of us will carry three at all times for personal use, separate from what we ration out of our supply for each mission, and I'll have some in my pack for Trixie as well. Now get some sleep, tomorrow, we're gonna fuck up some hydras." I had regained my confidence. Let's see these bastards mess with me when I can turn them to goo with my mind. Not literally, but you get the idea.

Gilda flew the hound pair back to the camp, while I just hovered there for a bit, staring at the east. After a while, she came back to get me with a worried look on her face.

"You're still worried, aren't you? Not about today, but the future?"

"A little." She wrapped her arms around me as the sun just barely began to rise.

"Let's get back to camp and get some shuteye, we have a big day today. We'll worry about the future when it get's here. When it does, you'll think of something. You always do."

Step one, get drunk. Step two, invent thermite grenade. Step three, profit! Given the proximity to the Volcanic wastes, large amounts of these elements can be found in their pure forms as the earth spits them up and then it gets covered in non-reactive ash. Having a pair of diggers is quite useful. If you want to make thermite yourself, look on google. It's actually ABSURDLY easy, given how dangerous it can be. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! ..... do it at a friend's house.....

Also, Carnelian made some art since I can't!

Seriously though, when it comes to drawing, I may as well have hooves.

Did I Mention I'm A Pirate? (21)

Did I Mention I'm A Pirate?

"Mmmmmrrrrrhhhhhh. Damnit. Stupid sun. Go back down for a bit. It's not supposed to be morning yet." I grumbled as I crawled out of my leaf bed. Gilda also awoke, as did Etch and Growl.

"Anyone remember what we did last night?"

"Well, we got drunk, you made these necklaces, one for each of us, with three extra for a doctor, smith, and herbalist when we find them. Then you became depressed and invented thermite, and then we went back to bed." Gilda recalled the events of last night.

"I made thermite when I was plastered? I'm a freaking genius! Gilda, remind me to never get drunk again. Seriously. Not worth it."

"You got it."

"Hey, is it hot today or what?"

"No, I think the booze addled your brain." She mocked.

"I'm gonna go fly around for a bit to cool off and get my head on straight."

I took off, high into the sky. I flew around for about ten minutes until I noticed something on the horizon. I went to take a closer look, spotting a very large group of ponies, all in armor, headed straight for Wethoof. The reinforcements would be there at noon. I bolted back to camp and interrupted breakfast.

"Hurry up, let's go let's go! We gotta move! Dogs, move our stuff back to the old camp to the west. Gilda, you're with me. No time to explain. I'll fill you in when we're in the clear." Sensing my tone of urgency, they didn't question it, all taking to their duties immediately. As I flew with Gilda towards the village, right over the gate, as they knew to let me pass anyway, I filled her in.

"Noon today?"

"Yeah. Probably here to help with the hydra problem. Very large army of trained military ponies plus only two of us equals sad Griffin. We're getting Trixie and getting the hell out of here before they arrive. I'll need you to back me up, I have no idea what might happen."

"What about the hydras?" She asked.

"Fuck the hydras. Let Echo and the army take care of it. We're not needed. I'll drop him a line telling him we're bolting, then we're out of here."

We flew quickly to the medical tent, then calmed ourselves as we entered. We didn't want to give away what we were doing. Upon entering, I noticed that Trixie's bed was empty.

"Nurse, where's the blue unicorn that was here?"

"She's been released. She'll still need to have her medication for the next three days though. She has it on her. As of right now, she's with the mayor. He called her there for some important business or something." As soon as she said mayor, we bolted. I did NOT like where that was going.

"This has the smell of treachery all over it."

We quickly arrived at mayor Frost Snap's office, both of us on edge and ready for a fight. The guards moved out of our way, clearly sensing the air. I found my pony crew member tied to a chair with a shackle on her horn, and a gag in her mouth.

"Well well, I didn't expect you to be here so soon Griffin. I am not happy."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Oh, no reason really. It's just that a little birdy told me that you had actually befriended Echo and were planning on escaping after this whole hydra business had been dealt with. That little birdy was you. The walls have ears you know."

'Shit! I got drunk and let the plan slip! DAMNIT! Okay, recovery.'

"Yes, unfortunately that bastard guard Tythus figured out my little plan, so I had to put on a bit of a show." Come on, buy it.

"Oh, I know. I don't doubt you in the slightest. I'm just keeping her here as an.... insurance policy. After all, if the royal army were to show up and found a wanted criminal in the medical ward, well, there would be nothing I could do to prevent them from taking her. You understand of course, given my position, I can't exactly let it be known that I'm harbouring pirates." Son of a bitch! He got me! Really want to kill Frost Snap now.

"Yes. I'd hate for anything to happen to my crew. I'm glad we have an understanding." I put on my best poker face as I began to leave the room.

"Oh, and Griffin, if you even so much as think of betraying me again, you're precious little pony will be an icicle before you can say 'feather brain'." He couldn't see my face, but as soon as he threatened her, my eyes went bloodshot. Gilda looked at me warily before I put on my poker face.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I made a gift for you Trixie, here. It's a necklace made with a tooth from that dragon I killed. Since you're a little bit occupied at the moment, let me put it on." I reached into my pack and pulled out the necklace, as well as 2 vials of knockout gas. I slipped the necklace on her, then tossed one of the chems into the face of the guard that was behind her. Holding my breath, I drew Hades in time to deflect a bolt of frost magic, right back at it's caster. Mayor Frost Snap was frozen to his new desk. I pointed the blade at his neck. Hearing the commotion, two guards from outside entered, only to be knocked out by having their unarmored heads smacked against each other, courtesy of Gilda.

"And so the tables have turned again. I never intended to kill Echo. I've been lying to you the whole time. Right from the moment we found out he was part of the plan, a critical part of keeping YOUR daughter alive, we had decided against it. You are so obsessed with getting your revenge on a guy who's only crime was that he tried to help YOU, that you were willing to risk Ginger Snap's life."

"Do not tell me how to raise my daughter, or run my city!" He raged.

"Tell me, how much is a life?"

"What?"

"Are all lives equal? Is the life of a pony worth more than that of a griffin or a diamond dog?"

"Of course it is! Your kind is the scum of the earth! You are no better than those mutts! It is by the princess's mercy that you are still alive. If it was my choice, I'd have wiped you all out ages ago! We are the ones meant to live in peace and prosperity. I'm glad your kind is dying off."

"If the life of a pony is worth more than that of a diamond dog, why are you willing to risk the lives of all the ponies in Wethoof, including your own, and your daughter's, to kill ONE of them?"

"Because he needs to die! He's a diamond dog! He's the same as the ones who killed her!"

"No, he's not. Your wife was killed by ONE diamond dog, Moss Paw. If I recall correctly, you killed him and wiped out all of the Greenclaws. You've already gotten your revenge! They have already been punished for their crimes! It's you who can't let go! I know for a fact that Echo saved your daughter's life, TWICE, at the risk of his own, and that despite hating them as much as you do, she actually respects him!" Frost Snap spat in my face. I brought my claws forward, putting them just barely in front of his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare. When the army comes...." I looked right at him with my piercing eyes, the veins on them protruding slightly.

"I'll be long gone. Guess what bub? It's just you and me for the next half hour. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, threatens my crew. I don't care if you're the princess herself, nobody fucking messes with me! I'd rather be friends with a diamond dog, than work for a racist little PRICK like you. Sure, Ginger Snap might hate me for what I'm about to do, but since I'll never see her again, I don't give a shit."

"You, you can't!" He squealed in fear.

"I can do whatever I want, because in case I didn't mention it before, I AM A PIRATE.

I brought my claw back, Frost Snap closed his eyes expecting the final blow. I decided I wouldn't kill him. No, I'd make him have nightmares about me for years to come. I opened my claw, smashing the vial of knockout chemicals into his face, twisting so that the glass shards became embedded in his muzzle.

"Be glad I'm feeling merciful and am letting you sleep through this, but it's gonna hurt like HELL when you wake up. Wouldn't do to fill the town with screams and have any more guards come up here."

I used Hades to chop off his mane and tail. Sure, it'd grow back, but it was a pride thing. Once that was done, I used my knife-like claws to carve the word 'Trash' into his forehead, right under his horn. It would leave a nasty little scar, so every morning, when he woke up, he'd look in the mirror and see EXACTLY what he was. Then I took out a vial of thermite and melted his desk, but not before I took a piece of parchment and quill from it.

"Dear Echo,

Sorry pal, Army's coming today, can't stick around. Hope you can handle a few pansy hydras without me. Remember, if you cut off the head, burn the wound shut so it won't grow back. Mayor tried to kill us cuz he found out I wasn't going to off you. Tell Ginger I'm sorry she had to put up with such a disgrace of a pony father, and while what I did was extreme, maybe it'll make him remember what's important, the lives of everyone in Wethoof, including hers, or some petty revenge he had exacted years ago. He picked wrong today.

Sincerely, Equestria's most wanted, Griffin.

Ps, I know you like bananas, but how do you feel about thermite? A little clickity click with those claws of yours and the enclosed vial goes up like a roman candle.

I untied Trixie, who just looked at me in shock over what I had done. Gilda said that while I may have gone way overboard, he had it coming. This was supposed to be the land of peace, harmony, and tolerance, and with worthless pieces of shit like him running around, it wasn't living up to it's image. I made sure she had her medication with her, strapped her into my harness, then left the office via kicking the door down, (it wasn't even locked) and flew off into the sky. Spotting Echo, I dropped the letter, which struck him right on the head, before I turned and headed towards camp.

'Bull's eye.' I saw him pick it up and begin to read it, his expression turning stern. He looked up to the sky, and I was already gone.

We flew silently tho whole way back to camp, nobody saying a word. Mostly because they were afraid of me after what I had just done. I knew Frost Snap. He was EXACTLY the same as those entitled assholes back home who think they're better than everyone, and treat them like dirt because of it. So, I got pissed off. I finally have to power to make a change in the world, even if it's not MY world. Who am I kidding, it is now. Only reason I didn't gut him and put his head on a stick is because his daughter is friends with Echo, and I didn't want to make his life any harder.

After reaching camp, the dogs were hard at work getting everything set up again. They weren't at all surprised to see me carrying Trixie, considering the orders I had given them.

"Grif, are you..." Gilda began cautiously.

"Yeah, I'm alright. In fact, I'm feeling MUCH better now. Etch, Growl, thanks for taking care of things on your end. I know it's not glamorous, but you guys keep this whole group running right. Come here ya big lugs." At which, I grabbed them both around the necks and gave them a hug, something that surprised the hell out of them.

"Eh, Grif?" Trixie asked, finally getting her voice back, confused at my actions.

"Oh, yeah. The buildup and then release of anxiety, aggression, fear, and stress causes a euphoric sensation, so don't be surprised if I go all lovey dovey after I beat the crap out of someone. In fact, you guys probably feel it too, just to a much lesser degree, considering I have YEARS of pent up anger that I'm getting out. Frosty reminds me of Carl. I fucking HATE Carl."

"Ehh, ooooohhhhkaaaaaayy then. Still, we've got Trixie and her medication, we're all alive, the hydra issue will be taken care of in short order, and Grif got to blow off some steam by torturing an asshole. Was today a good day?"

"Well, the day isn't over yet, but this morning was fan-fucking-tastic! I'm glad we live in a tree, because sometime around noon, we're gonna get to see some fireworks. I wish it was at night, then we could actually see it really well, but whatever."

Watching the bomb go off was, to say the least, anti-climactic. I was expecting something kind of like a mushroom cloud, but the explosives didn't have enough oomph for something like that. No duh. It was right next to the town. They're trying to kill the hydras, not the townsfolk, with the exception of Frost Snap of course.

Being a griffin is awesome. You got the eye sight, still getting to eat meat, built in weaponry, natural strength, and most of all, the flying. There's just one teensy little thing about it that's terrible.

"Damn, it's freaking HOT! Why is it so damn hot! And it itches like hell! NNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG." I groaned as I laid on my back, scratching it on the floor of our hut, then up the tree. Nothing would bring relief.

"Aw, look, little Griffin is all grown up! It's his first moulting!" Gilda laughed.

"Shut up and help me! I don't know what I'm supposed to do! DAMN IT! It's itchy! Make it stooooooooop." I didn't have a book on bird biology, and I didn't read up on it since it wasn't necessary for survival. I mean, who goes out expecting to become a bird?

Gilda, Trixie, Etch, and Growl were far too busy laughing at my desperate attempts to stop the itching to help me. Gilda flicked a tear away from her eye and took a deep breath to settle herself before explaining.

"Just look in your feathers, and pull out the ones that don't lay flat. If it sticks up, it means another feather is already coming in to replace it."

"Pull em out, got it!" At which point I took great handfuls of my feathers and ripped them out.

"Gaaaah!" It was painful, but it was also sweet relief at the same time. I guess it would be like waxing your legs, except when you rip it off, you're getting rid of something that was biting you.

"Whoa, hey! Not all of them! Just the ones that are sticking up!" Gilda tackled me to try and pin me and make me stop, which was surprising easy in the first aspect given that I had stripped all my armor and weapons off, but difficult in the second as I continued to roll around, yanking my feathers out.

"Dumbass, chill for a second!" She shouted, I didn't listen. I just continued pulling the feathers.

"Only take the ones that are sticking up!"

"They're ALL sticking up!"

"No they aren't! You're just over reacting!" We struggled for several more minutes, Gilda trying to pin me while I furiously plucked myself of every last feather from my bird body.

"Baaaaaaaahahahahahhaa." The entire camp laughed at the now naked me. I looked like a chicken someone had plucked, prepared to be cooked. Taking a good look at myself, I joined in their fit of laughter.

"Anyone up for some chicken wings?" I asked as I opened the now featherless limbs, letting the relatively cool breeze blow over them.

"Ooooooooohhhhh yeah, that's good."

"This is hilarious. You went overboard and now you're naked! This brings a problem though. You've got no feathers. You can't fly." The implications of this hit immediately. Not only would I be unable to enjoy the open skies until my feathers came in, but I had just lost my primary mode of transport. If we were attacked and needed to escape, I wouldn't be able to. Heck, I wouldn't even be able to get in and out of the tree house.

"How long?"

"Two weeks."

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Two weeks of no flying? This sucks!"

"Yep, you better collect all those feathers, because you're going to be laying on them quite a lot for the next fourteen days." Trixie rubbed a hoof full of my own feathers in my face.

"What the hell am I going to do up here that whole time?"

"Other than go stir crazy?" Gilda dropped several books in front of me.

"Trix here spent a week out of commission because you were too much of a dumbass to read up on the area before we got here. Never again. You're the leader. Start acting like it." She was right. We had spent so much time getting our bodies in shape we had completely neglected our minds. Me specifically. I should have been prepared, and because I wasn't, Trixie almost died, and we fell into a trap.

"You're right. I need to pick up the slack I've made. If I'm gonna be useless for the next two weeks, I gotta make sure I use that time to suck less in the future. Until my feathers are back, Gilda, you're leader. I still keep the necklace though."

With that said and done, I began reading up more on the area, as well as the ones we would be heading to in the future. The time would come when we didn't have the convenience of looking up the answers in a book. We'd need to know them right away. I also began making more of the thermite bombs. I had a feeling we'd need a lot of them in the future.

Dear Princess Luna,

If your sister is the sun princess, why are you the hotter of the two?

Sincerely, Equestria's most wanted, and at the moment, least feathered, Griffin.

So yeah, I'm done with Echo now. He might come back later, he might not. Who is to say? Okay, Rust and I are to say, but we haven't advanced that far yet. Poor naked chicken Grif, everyone is laughing at him. So, next arc is coming. I'm adding another crew member, after a little bit of adventure. In case you couldn't tell, Grif is mentally unstable. Also, admit it, you honestly expected me to have Grif and Echo fight the hydras, have a big party to celebrate after they win, all that. He really doesn't care about Wethoof. He cares enough not to doom them all, but not enough to help them out at his own expense. He's got to keep his eye on the prize, and fighting hydras when the town had it handled was an unnecessary risk. Griffin was hot because the feathers were holding in extra heat.

Here Kitty Kitty (22)

Here Kitty Kitty

"Feathers finally starting to grow back. Wanna fly. Wanna fly. Wanna fly."

"Sorry, you got three more days at least till they come in full." Gilda assured me. Only three more days till I could get some exercise. I had spent the greater part of the past week and a half reading up on The Feline Jungle, or as it's known in Equestria, the Great Southern Rain Forest, as well as the Volcanic wastes. The book I had on diamond dogs was useless, as it was out dated and I had two perfectly good sources of information. When Etch and Growl weren't digging up gems and 'magic rocks' as they'd call them, I spent some time teaching them to read. They figured out the English alphabet pretty quick, and could now write sentences that, while grammatically incorrect on every level, were at least understandable. They fared far better with reading. Once they knew the letters, they just needed to sound the words out. It helped that they could already talk.

"I have to say Grif, the new feathers look pretty good. More colourful. How old did you say you were?" Gilda asked.

"19, why?"

"That explains it. Age of maturity. You've lost your kid feathers and have adult ones now."

"Aha! So, I'm of age and the feathers are more colourful to try and attract a mate. Soooo, like what ya see? I know I was hot before, but now, I must be damn sexy." I teased while spinning my self around so I could get a better look as well. Gilda blushed, then quickly gave me a nuggie to cover it up.

"Ah, shut up." She scowled.

"I didn't hear a no........."

Trixie on the other hand just laughed at our antics.

"Just hurry up and grow your feathers in so we can get out of here. I think we should go further into the jungle, and farther from the Equestrian border."

"You miss riding on my back, don't you?"

"....... yes."

"Well, don't worry about it. Soon as I'm good to go, we'll be doing a lot more of that."

In the middle of the night, the day before we were to set out, I was awoken my a hard punching in my arm. I figured something must have happened, so Gilda was getting me up. How wrong I was. I awoke to find some kind of cat..... thing.... pinning me to the floor with an ivory dagger pressed against my throat. It was dark, so I couldn't really get a clear look.

"Fuck."

"Good, you're awake." The cat thing said. "I wanted you to see this coming. First things first, you're going to tell me where you took my father, then, I'm going to tie you up, parade you through town, pluck you, and cook you alive in boiling oil."

"Eh?" I noticed something smash on her face, fumes coming from it. I quickly exhaled and held it, the cat-thing falling off me unconscious. After I got myself up, careful not to inhale any of the knockout gas that had fallen around me, Trixie used her magic to light the gem torches along the walls.

"Nice save Trix. You're getting more useful by the day."

"Why thank you. What do ya wanna do with it?"

"Tie it up. We'll deal with it in the morning."

Morning came, the rest of the camp having stayed awake through the night to watch for any more intruders. There were none. With the light, I finally got a better look at the cat thing that had attacked me. It looked like a cat person. Bipedal, tail, fur, the whole deal. A bonafide Khajiit, but with the wide eyes that ponies have, to make them look cute. She was basically a furry's dream come true. I say she, because I could now tell that she was clearly a female. I assembled the crew, instructing them to let me do the talking, and to whisper to me if they had something to add. The creature finally began to stir, and on noticing it was bound, tried to get it's dagger. I put my claw down on it and lifted it up in front of my face.

"Hmm, nice knife. You should really have a second one hidden on you in case you get tied up." With that, suddenly, her ropes went slack, and she dove at me with an ebony dagger. The white one was a straight edge, while the black one was a kris. I rolled onto my back, my paws meeting her chest and flipping her into the tree. She dropped her blade, only to find it at her throat, being held by me. I noticed that it had a fluid on it, not so much that it was dripping, but quite a lot.

'Poison. That was too close for comfort.'

"Clever girl. Full of surprises. Any more you want to tell me about?" She just scowled.

"Etch, Growl, mind tying her back up?"

"Alright, hmm, book doesn't say anything about cat people. Care to explain who you are and why you're trying to kill me?"

"As if you don't know." She spat. She had spunk, this one.

"Let's pretend I don't."

"I am Nadene, of the Vren tribe. You kidnapped my father and enslaved my village! Keeping him hostage to ensure we did what you asked of us, taking all our belongings. You worthless pirate bastard! I'll kill you!"

"Errrmmm, okay? Everyone, huddle. Growl, keep an eye on her, she's a sneaky one." The bulky dog stood in front of her with his arms crossed, the cat scowling and pouting.

"What the hell? I didn't do anything like that. I didn't even know there were cat people here."

"Beats me." Gilda replied.

"Sounds to me like she's mistaken you for somepony else." Trixie suggested.

"Okay, I'm gonna try and figure this out."

"So, Nadene..."

"Do NOT speak my name." She hissed like a cat does when it's backed into a corner.

"Listen cat bitch, do you know who I am?"

"You are Griffin the griffin, you and your band enslaved my village. Do you not remember? I watched as you killed my mother and drugged my father. You burnt down half the village!" She said with another hiss.

"When did this happen?"

"Twelve days ago."

"Yeah, funny thing about that, I just finished moulting. I ripped all my feathers out and they finally grew back. I've been stuck in this damn tree house for the past fourteen days."

"You LIE!"

"Oh? I don't see your father around here, who ever he is. I've never heard of you or your people before. Oh, look, here's all my old feathers." At which point I dumped a bag of the plumes on her head. She sneezed and squiggled to try and get them off.

"Looks like you've mistaken me for someone else lady."

"You are not the captain of the Griffin Pirates?" She tilted her head to the side.

"No, that's me."

"Then you admit it!" She growled.

"Admit what?"

"Twelve days ago, a two griffins and a unicorn entered our village, burned half of it down, killed my mother, kidnapped my father, and enslaved the rest of us. They called themselves the Griffin Pirates, and said they would kill any who opposed them! We are not fighters, we could not stop you. It's why you picked our tribe instead of another." Nadene was crying.

"Sorry for your loss, but here's where you're wrong, I did no such thing. I've been here the past two weeks, and in Wethoof before that. What's more, our group is about ending slavery. There is no way in hell we'd enslave anyone, much less an entire village. And we do not kidnap either."

"I think I know what happened." Etch spoke up, something uncharacteristic of him.

"Go ahead."

"We have impostors." The dog with the scratchy voice suggested.

"You're damn right we do. Here's what happened. A trio of pansy ass wanna be's looking to cause trouble and get rich quick stumbled on your little village, and since they couldn't take you on all at once, they pretended to be us because we're badasses, to scare you all in order to keep you in line. Cut her loose, and give her her blades back." Nadene was shocked to hear what I just said. Impostors, actually weaklings, hoping to capitalize on a village of peaceful natives.

"So, you guys know what we're gonna do right? Given the circumstances, I don't think we need to vote on this."

"Fuck yeah! Let's go kick the crap out of em!" Gilda dug her claws into the wood of the floor, raring to go and looking for blood.

"Mmmmmhahahahahaha! I'm going to enjoy this!" Trixie cackled like a witch.

"HU WA!" The dogs pounded their chests.

I held my sunglasses in my claw. "Let's gear up, it's time to," I put the glasses over my eyes. "Take out the trash."

I looked around, expecting to hear a 'yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh'. I was disappointed. We donned our weapons and armor, then were ready to set out.

"Okay, so we're gonna walk there. If we fly, we're gonna get spotted. We waltz into the village like we own it, find out where 'WE' are, and make them beg for mercy. Since there's no way we can carry all of you anyway, and Nadene knows the way on foot, we follow her. Everyone, pack our stuff up. Let's go kill some impostors."

"So Nadene, you said you're from the Vren tribe, is that species or what?"

"No, we have no name for our kind as a whole. We are different tribes, each with different villages. Our kind is at peace with one another. Those with like minds come together and form a village, while those who do not agree form their own far away so that we may not encounter them. Our village, Valen, is one of the larger ones. We are close to the sacred grove, which holds many herbs which we use for potions, and so our people are well trained as apothecaries. We however, shunned the arts of war. I practiced in secret. Father was very disappointed when he discovered me." She explained.

"So, you're a potion maker then?"

"No, that is my father, Rakk, the village chief. I know much of the craft, but it is not something I wish to do with my life. I seek adventure. My father tells me that I should stay in the village, make potions, and be a shaman. That life is dull. I wish to travel, to see the world. Can he not see that he is stifling me?" I saw her with sad eyes, but a glimmer in them. Wanderlust. She wanted to get out and see the world, and she couldn't.

'All I have to do is save the village, and I could convince her to join us. She's clearly a skilled fighter, a sneaky one at that, and despite not being what she wants to do, she's a potion maker. Obvious choice. Thank you Lady Luck, you know I love you. What's that? You want jewelry? Well, I don't see why not.'

"Shh, we are here." The cat hissed softly. The dogs glared. I could tell they didn't like her. I mean, cats and dogs, duh. Looking at the village, there were several huts that were partly destroyed, blackened by flame. There, on a chair being carried by several tiger-ish looking cat people, a griffin, relaxing, flanked by another griffin and a dark blue unicorn.

"The hell, they don't even look like us! are you serious? The unicorn's colours are all wrong, same with the feather colours on the griffins. The guy who's supposed to be me has green feathers. GREEN. How the hell did you mistake them for us?"

"Well, my kind is colourblind." Nadene explained sheepishly.

"And yet you take herbs and plants, many of which have similar shape and are only distinguishable by colour, and make potions from them."

"We can tell by the feel and scent of the herbs. Father lost his eyes years ago, yet still makes the finest potions." I face clawed.

"Okay, enough of this bullshit. Let's do the big reveal. Trix, send and illusion of me in first. Make it dive at that guy, then turn to smoke." Her horn began to glow, making an exact copy of me, minus her, and had it exit the bush. My clone let out a vicious shriek, dove at the griffin in the chair, then vanished as it connected with him. He became so frightened that he fell off. The then began looking around frantically for his non existent attacker.

'Well, that proves that theory. He's a scaredy cat.'

"Okay, we now know that they're pansies. Only reason they could take over is because you're not fighters. Let's show them what REAL pirates can do."

We marched out of the bush, looking mad as hell. The trio of fakers looked at us, quite frightened. They knew the jig was up.

"So, someone thinks it's fun to play pirate do they?" The green one, also a male, gulped. The rest of the town that was watching were incredibly confused as to what two more griffins, a unicorn, two diamond dogs, and Nadene were doing.

"Watch your mouth you peasant! Do you not know you're speaking with the great captain of the Griffin Pirates?" He tried to keep up his show. Wait.... that voice..... it seems familiar somehow.... no matter. I drew Hades, slamming it into the ground.

"You know, that's funny, because last I checked, Griffin the griffin was me, not some pansy little fruit fly like you."

"You want to fight about it?" He prepared a fighting stance. I laughed. He had NO FUCKING IDEA what he was doing. This was going to be hilarious. I casually tossed an exploding vial, which hit him square in the chest and knocked him on his back. The other two stood in front of him, the unicorn throwing a flame spell at me. Compared to dragon flames, it was pitifully weak. Of course, Hades saw to it that there was a slightly scorched unicorn about a second later as the magic bounced off. The second griffin flew away, not even bothering with trying to fight. Smart girl. She knew she couldn't win. The first griffin got back up, ready to fight again.

"Nadene? Would you care to do the honours? This guy is pathetic. I've seen you fight. You could handle all three of them yourself." Nadene purred. God that was cute. She pulled out her ebony and ivory daggers, holding them in her paws reversed, so they were pointing backwards.

"So, you three figured it would be fun to pick on a peaceful village, because they hate fighting and refused to defend themselves, getting those other two to follow you and wreck stuff? Guess what, it looks like one of them knows how to fight and is more than willing to." The unicorn was grabbed by Gilda and stuck in the ground by her horn, unable to move. It was hilarious. The green griffin stood up and prepared to fight. She instructed me that this was her fight and to stay out of it.

Nadene and 'green' dove at each other, her daggers and his claws clashing, blocking each other. He was heavier than she was, so he began to overwhelm her. He started pecking at her, trying to pierce her throat. She moved her head from side to side, before finally having enough and biting into his shoulder. He jumped backwards in pain. As the cat readied her fighting stance again, the griffin began to laugh.

"Bwahaha! Remember, I'm the only one who knows where your father is! If you kill me, you'll never find him, and he'll die. You'll lose your village chief! You can't kill me!" Nadene broke out of her fighting stance, letting her daggers fall to the ground. The griffin pounced, punching her over and over as she made no attempts to defend herself. Finally, when he was satisfied, be began to laugh again.

"Not so tough now, are you?" My eyes opened wide in realization. Now I know where I heard that voice before. I immediately dove at him, knocking him off balance. He tried to stab me with his claws, but I corkscrewed my arm around his, put the other one on the inside of his shoulder, and pulled it out of it's socket.

"Not again!" He screamed in pain.

"Carl! You fucking bastard!" He was overcome by shock as I said his name.

"How do you know my name?!" He screamed in pain.

"Because, this is the second time I've dislocated your arm."

"G...G....G... Griffin?" He stuttered, suddenly realizing the irony that he had taken on my name.

"Damn right bitch. Enjoy walking home barefoot?" I smirked.

"You son of a bitch! What the hell are you doing here?" He raged.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I got all pissed off, so I went out and got high. Then some weirdo with a glass of wine and a fruit bowl asked me what was wrong. I told him what happened, and he said I needed a vacation, and he could send me somewhere with fantastic drugs. I decided to take him up on his offer. Then he snapped his fingers and sent me to this hell hole. Sure, they got lots of plants for smoking, but nearly getting eaten by a fucking tiger ain't worth it." He would have been red in the face from rage, but he was in too much pain.

"Serves you right. I give you a damn kidney, and you did nothing but make my life miserable."

"Wait, that was you?" He looked in shock. I had never told him it was me.

"Yeah, I knew who I was giving it to, but I demanded that they never tell anyone, didn't want it coming back to me. Then, not a month later, you begin picking on me, all so your drug addict friends would think you were cool. Six years I regretted saving your life. Now I'm gonna fix my mistake. New body, no rules."

Carl shivered in terror. The very same green haired punk who picked on me, who pulled a knife on me above the freeway. He had been sent here by a mystery man. Funny, he didn't look so tough anymore, hands over his head in a puddle of his own waste. I was REALLY going to enjoy this.

I sliced off his non-dislocated arm with Hades, then lifted him into the air. I plucked all his feathers from him. He wasn't molting, meaning that they weren't ready to come out, and were a bajillion times more painful to remove. Once he was naked, I punched him to a bloody pulp. Nadene had gotten back up and watched as I furiously pummeled the one who had caused her village so much pain.

"Stop, please!" Carl begged.

"Tell me where the village chief is!"

"He, he's in the temple, to the south east! He's tied to the table in the second room on the left!"

"All the villager's valuables?"

"Same place, the third room on the right."

"Good. Nighty night." I smashed a knockout vial in his face, causing him to pass out." Then I turned to the unicorn.

"Oh sweet Celestia please no." She cowered, Gilda pushing her to the ground next to her unconscious leader.

"What to do with you? Nadene, you okay?" She nodded. The villagers looked very VERY angry. At me for some reason.

"What?"

"We despise violence. You have stained the ground with blood. You are not welcome here. Leave immediately!" One of them looked at me angrily.

"What are you gonna do about it?" I glared back at him, causing him to shrink visibly.

"That's what I thought. Problems from home followed me here, and now I'm gonna take care of them."

Several of the villagers returned, the chief, looking like a man tiger with no eyes, entering the town with a cart behind him filled with food and herbs and such, being supported by many of the others.

"Father!" Nadene cried, running to the arms of her blind dad.

"I am so glad you are all right father!"

"I am not your father." He deadpanned.

"What?" She was taken aback, with tears in her eyes.

"You, your thirst for adventure, you trained yourself to fight in our village, you made poisons. The gods punished us by sending this griffin scourge, and since you brought these ones, who have spilled even more blood on this sacred ground, we shall be punished further. Leave this village, and never return. Only then may we be spared the spirit's wrath." He turned away, Nadene weeping bitterly.

With a gentle tug on her arm, I pulled her away from the scene, Etch and Growl dragging Carl behind them. We told the unicorn to get the hell back to Equestria and rethink her life. She ran away as fast as she could. We set up camp about a mile outside the village. Nadene was lethargic. Being turned out by her own father was the worst. I know. It happened to me too.

"Cheer up kiddo. Your father still loves you, he was doing you a favour."

"What?" She blinked to look at me, the sun now setting behind.

"He knows you want to go on an adventure, this was his way of telling you to go out there and do it. In his heart, he knows that if they had been ready to fight, this whole thing could have been avoided. It was his way of severing the ties and setting you free, while still saving face with the village.He wants you to be happy, to come with us."

"What use could I be to you? You are so strong. I was too weak to even try and defend myself."

"There is more than one way to be strong. You couldn't kill him because of your love for your father, so you stood there and took it. I know what it's like to be trapped like that, which is why I have my crew here to bail me out. Together, we are strong. Besides, we need a potion maker." I dropped the herbology book in front of her.

"I can't figure this crap out. So, what do ya say? Wanna join the Griffin Pirates?" As she sat on the wooden floor of the tree house, which she very easily climbed into, she looked at me with tears in her eyes. My expression was one of warmth and caring. She nodded.

"Good, there's just ONE little thing we have to take care of. Carl here needs to be put out of his misery. I seem to remember you saying something about boiling me in oil? Since we don't have any of that, how about a dagger dipped in manticore venom? We don't know what it does, and this worthless piece of shit volunteered to be a test subject when he pissed me off. Let's wait for him to wake up though."

As Carl awoke, he groaned in pain, then realized he was pinned by a VERY angry Nadene.

"Oh shit."

"Well well Carl, looks like you made a very bad choice trying to keep your old habits when you came here. This little kitty cat is a skilled potion maker, and lucky you, since you killed her mother, you won the lottery and get to test some of them out." Nadene took her white dagger, thoroughly coated in the green ooze of manticore venom, and stabbed it into his right arm. He didn't scream at all, simply staring as the thick ichor mixed with his blood.

"Neruotoxin. Kills the nerves. Painless. Also lethal. Damn it, I was hoping it would be like acid or something so you'd suffer a bit more."

"Come on, you have a cure for this right? Hey man, come on! I'm sorry about picking on you okay! You wouldn't leave a fellow griffin hanging would you?" He begged.

"Little known fact, most griffins are slaves. Every one of them has a family member in captivity, and as such, would NEVER force that on someone else. You did, ergo, you are not a griffin. You also killed the innocent. You're guilty of crimes deserving of death, and in this lawless place, I am your judge, jury, and executioner. You may be from the same place as me, but you aren't the same. Echo is a diamond dog, and he's more like me than you are. My only regret in this is that I saved your life in the first place. I could have saved myself a world of pain if I had just let you die. Good news, when I became a griffin, it's a completely new body. I have all my organs. It's time to erase the past. Now die." I stabbed him in the throat with my sword, going all the way through, taking off his head. I casually dumped the body off the tree, where a slythin, a type of snake, similar to an anaconda, began trying to eat it. Poor thing would die when the venom in the body got into it's bloodstream. I tossed the cat woman a necklace with a dragon's tooth on it, which she then put on.

"Nadene, welcome to the crew."

Dear Princess Celestia

Want to know how to make your horn 30% larger today?

Sincerely, Griffin.

I don't actually hate Carl. I had a friend named Carl. I haven't seen him since I finished high school, 3 years ago. He went off on some military thing.

Heartfelt (23)

Heartfelt

"So, I was meaning to ask Griffin..." Nadene began.

"Just call me Grif or dumbass, it's less awkward." I replied, causing Gilda to giggle again, and our newest member to look at me confused, as to why the captain would ask her to insult him.

"Alright, Grif, you told the other one that you gave him a kidney.... what did you mean by that?" She continued her question.

"Oh, right. I forgot, I haven't explained myself exactly yet. Well, let's begin. I'm not actually a griffin. I'm an alien. I came to this world two, maybe three months ago? I forget exactly, and I guess I got turned into the first thing I met, being Gilda over here. Anyways, I left my world as an escape. It is a harsh and unforgiving place, where those with wealth rule and do all they can to stay on top, which means oppressing those beneath them. Basically, what that bastard Carl was doing to your village, but on a global scale. Normally, family looks out for one another, except mine actually tried to kill me on a couple occasions when I was younger. I also had no friends, given that I was socially inept, due to the fact that my parents didn't even try to raise me into a proper person."

"That doesn't explain the medical miracle......"

"I was getting to that. Now, in this world, there have been a lot of medical advances, probably due to the fact that there's a large number of highly developed diseases. There is a huge call for what's known as organ donors. Basically, if someone has a disease that destroys one of their vital organs, they need a replacement. I was looking for some meaning in my life, so I decided to donate one of anything I had two of that I didn't need. There wasn't any call for a lung of my blood type right yet, but someone needed a kidney. Apparently the guy had a drug overdose and destroyed both of his. They let me see him while he was passed out, and I learned a bit about him. I demanded that they never tell it was me who saved his life. I wasn't looking for recognition, and I really didn't want someone going around acting like he owed me his life."

"So, you gave him your kidney, and then?" Nadene was interested, as were Gilda and Trixie. Etch and Growl didn't really care.

"We went on with our lives. One month later, that very same guy was right back out there, doing drugs again. He got a second chance at life, at my expense, and he was just throwing it away again. What's more, a lot of addicts are punks, so they go around making other's miserable, stealing from them, all to make them feel better about themselves when they were off their high. Carl made my life a living hell. Six fucking years. Ever hear of karma? Do good, and good will come to you, and the opposite also being true? I did good, and had nothing but pain came to me, while he was cruel and kept getting a free ride. I've pretty much accepted that Destiny and Fate hate my guts. It's a good thing I at least have Lady Luck on my side, which is why I met all of you, and the reason I survived this long." I looked over at the dogs, and Etch was acting weird, almost like he was sad. Given that he has better hearing, I assume he heard me, was getting all emotional, and didn't want anyone to see.

"That's such a sad story. No wonder you acted like you did when you saw him again. But, how did you get here? How did he get here?" Nadene now knew why I did what I did to help her. It was only for a moment, but she felt the same pain I had.

"Well, that's the thing. I'm about to explain something really freaky, and you can never tell another soul. If anyone besides us know this, it could spell disaster. Ever seen a movie, or a play? A theater performance? We have those in my world, called T.V. shows. They're entirely fiction. Or so I thought. Turns out we're actually looking into different worlds without knowing it, or so Discord says. Anywho, I was watching one about Equestria. I thought to myself, wow, that place looks nice, much better than here, I want to go. Then some weird old guy came up, asked me if I wanted to, and when I said yes...." I snapped my fingers for dramatic effect.

"And here I am." Gilda looked a little astonished.

"So, wait. You knew about this world beforehand?"

"Only Equestria, I didn't know anything about the Dominion, Gem Fido, the Dragon Badlands, Volcanic Wastes, Black Marsh, or this jungle. It wasn't shown."

"So, why did you want to go to a world full of lame ponies?" Gilda looked like she was actually getting mad. She probably thought I was cool, and the fact that I actually liked ponies was a tough pill to swallow.

"Let's see, I wanted to escape my world. Oh look, here's one where there's plenty to eat, nobody trying to kill you, and you can actually have the freedom to do what you want. Didn't matter that they were ponies. It was a happy place."

"So, what changed?" She asked.

"I found out what the entire world is like. Right up to that point, I was blissfully ignorant of what happened in the other provinces, much like the ponies are. Soon as I found out that all that glitters is NOT gold, I got really pissed off. It's exactly the fucking same as my home, with the exception that here, I have the power to do something about it, and I intend to. Etch, Growl, get over here, it's time to go over the plan in detail."

As soon as the dogs made their way over from whatever they were doing, I began.

"Alright, so we're gonna sit in the forest for a little while longer and get stronger. Trixie and I need to train with our mounted combat, Gilda, you need to learn to shoot faster. Your accuracy is perfect, now just get those shots off more frequently. Trixie, you need to learn some destruction and binding magic as well. Etch, Growl, I'm happy with you at this point, although I'm sure Nadene could teach you a bit about stealth, which should come in handy. We'll try to hit a temple here in the jungle for loot. Once we've got a good bankroll, we'll head to volcano territory, hire some mercs and get a boat. Then we'll sail west and do some ACTUAL piracy. We're going to need to raid for wealth and supplies, and I know that the dogs send ships to the Zebra isles to trade with them. Since piracy hasn't existed for six centuries, they won't be defended, and we can just take what we want. Then we'll hit the dragon lands, maybe get a beast or two with us, pass back over the Dominion, drop off anything extra, give them my knowledge and take as many as we can with us. We'll wait there while some of the holds get scouted, and once we pick a target, we'll take it and send the slaves back to their families. Hopefully that will raise morale enough for us to get some reinforcements. We'll gather momentum and move again and again till we take the whole thing. After a while, they should just start surrendering as soon as we show up, and that'll be it. We've got the potion maker, Nadene, now all we need is a dedicated doctor and a smith, which I hope we'll be able to pick up along the way."

The group nodded in agreement, all of them pondering the different aspects of the plan.

"Well, all in all, it's a pretty good plan, other than the bits about getting more crew members being hazy, it's fairly sound." Nadene pointed out.

"You seem pretty relaxed about the whole alien thing...."

"It's not the first time Equestria has been visited. In fact, legend holds that my own people are from another realm as well, although most has been lost to time." She said somewhat sad, remembering her tribe.

"Do you know where we will be attacking, when we get that far?" Growl asked, quite out of character for him to talk at all. He's very quiet, which is a good thing, also suspicious. Nah, I'm just being paranoid.

"Actually, I'm hoping you two would be the ones to scout that out." I motioned to the dog pair. Etch's tail wagged.

"I one day hope to return home. I look forward to having my wife and pup back in my arms." So that's what he was sad about. My little sob story brought up some memories.

Later that evening, when all the others were asleep, Gilda approached me with a ragged look in her eye, like something was bothering her.

"What's the problem. Something's the matter. What is it?" I asked, by this point knowing her quite well.

"You say you saw Equestria before you came here. What did you see? Specifically." I was dreading this, but it had to be done.

"The events leading up to Nightmare Moon's return, followed by several disturbances, all the way through to Discord's return and defeat. Yes, I know, I got here before that happened. There seems to be a bit of a difference in timelines between our worlds. I also know that at some point in the future, Twilight Sparkle's brother is going to get married to Princess Cadence, although that episode hasn't come out yet. It's at the end of the season, with the season three opening having an enemy pop up that the elements of harmony don't work on. Those two guys on the weird car? I saw their screw up in Ponyville. In fact, most of the show is centered around there."

"When did you plan on telling me all this? When were you going to stop lying to me?" Gilda almost had tears in her eyes. The fact that I had been holding back from her was tearing her up inside. A clear tell that she cared for me.

"Honestly? I had no idea. When I felt the time was right I guess. Once I found out that this world wasn't fiction, and by breaking the 'fourth wall' as it were, I wouldn't bring the entire universe crashing down on our heads. Who knows how that crap works?"

"I guess you were right in holding that back....." She paused.

"You weren't exactly forthcoming with me either." She looked at me, thinking about her own past.

"I won't make you share that till you're ready. All in due time."

"So, what else did you see? Anything about....." She asked, then paused. I knew what she was going to say. I ignored it for the moment.

"I saw a parasprite invasion, a zebra that spoke only in rhyme, oh, you should have seen it! Pinkie Pie's tongue became too big to fit in her mouth, and she couldn't talk!" Gilda cracked a smile. I could tell she liked the thought of a quiet Pinkie Pie. Then she began to frown again.

"What about me?" This was it. I can't lie to her any more. She needs to know everything.

"Yes. I saw when you visited. I saw all of it." She buried her face in her claws.

"It was one of the worst days of my life! Okay, so maybe I did some things I should't have, but, I just..... I hadn't seen her so long, I wanted some time alone you know? I thought she might understand, and then she threw me away like an old sock! All those ponies, they, I mean, they have no idea what's going on. They just go about their daily lives happily and uncaring about the rest of the world. I watched Pinks eat an entire cake that would have fed 10 griffins for their birthdays. She's supposed to be the party pony, where are their parties? Where's their cake? Where's their presents? All I got for my birthday was taken as a slave. The next one, I got my freedom at the price of never seeing my family again. Where's the justice? Why aren't we allowed to feel good? We're all miserable and she's so over the top happy that it makes me sick! And then, all the people of your world saw me act like that. It's a wonder you didn't hate me as soon as you saw me." I wrapped my arm around her. She stopped crying and looked away, as though ashamed that she was being comforted by someone else.

"That's the thing. A lot of the 'fans' did, not because of Pinkie though. Most agree she went too far. It's actually Fluttershy. The little yellow one with the ducks that you yelled at? She's a fan favorite. She's the element of kindness. In fact, most wonder about her. Why is she so shy? What happened to make her walk on eggshells around everyone? She's probably the only one you could talk to about your past besides me. Of course, a lot also sided with you on that. They wanted to know WHY you were so angry. What happened in your life that caused you to be like that? They wanted to know your hidden pain and make it all go away, to show you that they care. Echo is one of them. So am I. Carl represents the majority of everyone else who is uncaring. Maybe if I had known him while we were both back on Earth...... I don't know. I honestly think the guy who sent me here is my guardian angel or something, who slacked off for the past 19 years and is working overtime to make up for it. It's like he sent him here just so I could kill him." Gilda and I both laughed at that. Life was finally making a turn for the better for me.

"We're so alike in so many ways. I'm the one who gets to know you, and I'm the one who gets to take it away, to destroy the source of your pain and heal your wounds. I can't promise you'll see your family again. I'm not gonna lie, they might not be alive any more. If they are alive, there is a chance. There's a chance that you might see them again. If we succeed, you'll be reunited. Etch will see his family again too. And if we fail..... well, then we'll all be together in Tartarus won't we? Given what we've done, we'll meet up there eventually." I drew Hades, made a slight cut on my claw, then motioned for her to do the same. We pressed our wounds together.

"This is our pact. We won't give up, no matter what, and we'll stay by each other till the end. We'll fix this broken world, or we'll die trying." She looked in my eyes, leaned in like she was going to give me a kiss, then blushed, backed out of it, and settled for leaning her head on my shoulder.

'Damn. So close.'

"Anyways, given what I know of the story's timeline, we don't have to worry about any more public appearances."

"What do you mean?" Gilda asked.

"There was a massive time lapse. The time between two of the episodes was over six months. We're right in that time slot now, which means...... Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity are coming after us. Either they'll find us and capture us, which, seeing as how I know they're coming, isn't likely, they'll find us, and we'll convince them to go home, or they won't find us at all, and give up since they have jobs to do back home and can't go all over the world on a wild goose chase. In fact, them missing us completely is the most likely, since there wasn't an episode about us. Twilight normally writes a 'friendship report' to Celestia, telling her what she's learned. Unless she didn't learn anything with us, which is unlikely given that she's a braniac, I'd have to say she didn't find us."

"So, basically, you've been spying on this world, and since you know that the show is centered around them, as well as what the timeline is, we can dodge that entirely?"

"Yep, pull out the map will you?" Gilda took the map out of her pack and unrolled it on the treetop floor.

"Hmm, they're not stupid, well, Twilight isn't, so they know that since we can fly and they can't that they'll never catch us by chasing. They'll try to head us off. Given that we went down the east coast, they think we'll probably go up the west, and a good staging area for that is.... here. Tailton Springs. But that's not what we're doing. We'll go....... here, to port Redstone, and steal a ship. I say we've got a month and a half before they make it there. Since the rail system is relatively new and only goes to Canterlot, frontier locations like Appleoosa, and some way stations like Ponyville, they can't just take the train, and they'll be traveling on foot."

"When did you figure that out?" Gilda asked, clearly wanting to know how I knew about the railroad.

"Book. I didn't spend a whole two weeks pouring over these things for nothing, and I already checked, they're the most up to date. See, the map even has the railway on it. They're all on the north half of the country. Since we just picked this one up in Manehatten, it's up to date too."

"Maybe you're not such a dumbass after all." Gilda smirked.

"Brains, charm, stunning good looks.... it's a miracle you haven't thrown yourself at me. When we get a ship, we may just have to name it the 'Lady Killer'." I chuckled. At which point she did throw herself at me. She pinned me to the ground, looked at me with half lidded eyes, then said,

"764 to 154, you really shouldn't let your guard down." before she climbed off and went to lay back down on her bed pillow, conveniently made of MY feathers in a shaped silk sack.

'Damn it! So close!'

Dear Princess Celestia,

Why are ponies racist?

Sincerely, Gilda.

Art by Carnelian. Quite touching. Grif finally explained in full who he is. Gilda took it rather well, all things considering. They had a nice little emotional chit chat, and Gilda finally said why she got pissed off in Ponyville.

Magic, *Snort Snort* (25)

Magic, *Snort Snort* (25)

Magic, *Snort Snort*

I woke up with a massive headache, bringing my hand to my head to try and dull the pain, I sat up.

'Hand? Dafuq?'

I scrambled to my knees, looking at the floor, I was at the top of the tree house, I couldn't see it clearly though. I reached into my pocket, pulled out my glasses, and put them on my face, my vision clearing up.

'Pocket? Since when do I wear clothes? I haven't done that since I stopped being human...... Forma Versus, True Form, SHIT!'

Looking up, I spotted Gilda, who with me on the ground, looked VERY big, Trixie was about the same size as me sitting, the dogs somewhat larger, and Nadene was a tower. Gilda very carefully picked up her right arm, and poked me.

"Uh, hey guys..... what's up?" They all recoiled when I spoke, as if they were looking at some monster, except for Nadene, who got a strange look in her eye. I stood, and when I did, they all took a step back. Standing, I was about a foot taller than Gilda and Etch, half a foot taller than Growl, three feet taller than Trixie, and a half a foot shorter than Nadene. I'm about 6 foot 3, so that gives you a pretty good idea where their heights are all at. I cracked my neck and back, making them shudder.

"Uh, Grif? Issat you?" Gilda asked, while the dogs looked like their brains had broken, and Trixie's jaw was on the floor.

"Mirror, now."

Gilda pointed behind me, where I saw Hades leaning against the wall. I could easily see my reflection, since it was night and the moonlight shone directly on it's black, shiny surface. I was wearing a red and black Volcom shirt and blue wrangler jeans. I looked like myself, but drawn and animated, so no blemishes. Pale skin, a slight stubble, and....

"Anime eyes and hair? Why the hell do I look like a brunette Cloud Strife? Is that was passes as human around here?" I tried lifting my sword, and while easier to grasp as I had proper hands, it was about twice as heavy as I remember it, meaning that while I could carry it, it would be too difficult to swing. At that point, Nadene brushed up against me, and started purring, then rubbing her face on me like how a cat does to something it likes.

"Oooookaaaay...... awkward....... and what the hell, I'm a weakling now! Change me back!"

"A weakling?" At which point Gilda pounced me and I wasn't able to offer any resistance at all.

"Hey sexy, come here often?" Gilda looked at me with a mix of laughter and disgust. She climbed off and I sprang to my feet.

"You.... really are.... an alien...... I honestly just thought you were just crazy." Trixie admitted.

"And now you know. Because knowledge is power!"

"Yep, it's him.... Nobody else says weird shit like that." Gilda deadpanned.

"Seriously though, turn me back. Like, now."

"I, um, don't know how?" Trixie had a very worried look, and wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"The first words were Forma Versus, and the second set was Reverti. True form, and return. It's a toggle. Say one, and it dispels illusions, transformations and such, say the second, and it releases them. It was in the temple of the hidden so..... it's a weapon against shape shifters and tricksters. It let's you reveal them. That could be useful. Seriously though, turn me back." Trixie said the words, my vision flickered, and I was back to my normal, feathered, self. Nadene pouted and backed off. I guess when I was a human, she liked what she saw?

"Definitely don't want to go without these." I said as I stretched my wings.

"Alright, give it here, it's time for some more tests."

After getting the amulet from Trixie, I didn't put in on quite yet. I examined it, and it glowed with a pale blue light, distinctively faded from before, but it looked as though the light was slowly returning. I took out a book on gems and began reading through.

"I see, it's a gem that automatically charges itself with ambient magic. It has a constant, albeit slow recharge, and it's been altered to do something specific. The metal amulet it's set in offers protection from an area effect trickery dispel, caused by the gem...... I see. So, if I say 'forma versus'...." My vision flickered and I turned human. "While holding but not wearing it, I still change." Then I put the amulet on.

"If I say 'reverti' while wearing it, nothing happens, but if I take it off and 'reverti'." I became a griffin once more.

"So, it only protects from it's spell if worn. This means I could just carry it around for easy transformations. Forma versus." Human again. The first time it happened, I had blacked out, but now, I'd just get a bit of vision flicker as my eyes changed.

"Reverti." Griffin again.

"Stop doing that, it's freaky!" Trixie begged.

"Nope, it's way too much fun. Forma versus....... forma versus! Hey........" The gem had an almost non existent glow.

"Well, it looks like it can only go six times, three either way, before it's out of juice and needs a recharge."

"Well Grif, if you're done screwing around, don't you think we should be getting some shuteye?" Gilda scolded.

"Yes, we need to see if sleep deprivation is what's causing your morning sickness." Geez, she makes it sound like I'm pregnant.

"Yeah, fine, we'll get some sleep, there's got to be more ways to use this, maybe I'll think of em in dream land."

Okay, so, Forma Versus and Reverti, those are Latin right? Latin was always considered the language of magic. This gem has been made specially to deal with shape shifters and illusionists, tricksters basically. The gem was probably changed so that's all it can do, but it can do it more frequently, with the amulet being a safeguard for whoever is wearing it....... What about other gems? Whenever I saw magic in the show, it was always a kind of build up and release around the horn, well, except telekinesis, but that's supposed to be a low level spell. The gem from before would shimmer slightly when I focused on it, like a lesser version of the amulet..... So, if we can charge gems and have them hold magic like a battery, rather than forming a spell that requires a unicorn, we can use Latin for the release? I'll have to test it in the morning. Trixie casts a low level light spell on them, which holds for about an hour...... If she just filled them with neutral magic instead, we could activate them whenever we wanted, and they could probably do more than just light things up...... Gotta remember my Latin... um.... ah crap, not this again.

I found myself in a familiar darkness, I tried to fly, and succeeded to do so before the red river came. Much to my dismay, the torrent followed me. In a void where up and down have no meaning, the black blood simply chased until it caught me, pulling me into it. Trying to gasp for air, it fills my mouth with a sour taste.

"Ahh!" I awake panting for breath. Everyone else was already up, and looking worried.

"What.... time is it?"

"It's about 2 in the afternoon." Nadene told me, looking at our sun dial, yet another thing I had made using my knowledge.

"You let me sleep for sixteen hours?"

"You look like you need it. Dream again?" Gilda asked.

"Yeah, the blood river followed me into the sky and grabbed me."

"Here." Nadene threw me a vial of the blue stuff, which I drank with haste. As it turns out, the stuff actually tastes horrid, but she mixes blueberries with it to make it so you don't throw up, and that's what makes it blue. Healing ones are black, made with blackberry. She flavour and scent coded her potions. After all, when you're colour blind, you have to think creatively. Trixie was practicing with throwing a bright yellow ball around. She made an explosion and held in in place, then whipped it around. She was chasing Etch with it and Growl with it, who were using that as a way to practice dodging. It slammed into the shorter dog, popping the bubble and knocking him over.

After I drank the potion, my head stopped hurting, and I finally had some semblance of wit, so began to explain what I had thought of.

"Guess what everyone! It's time for science! And not just any science! Magic science! With my wonderful assistant Trixie! Collect the gem lamps from around camp will you?" She did as I asked while Gilda, Nadene, Etch, and Growl all sat, waiting to hear me speak.

"In human myth and legend, wizards and sorcerers would focus magic, then with words, most commonly Latin, form spells to release the magic in a usable form. They would often times carry a staff or wand made of a material that channels magic easily. Unicorn horns are specifically tuned to the pony they belong to, but gemstones are neutral, meaning that anyone can use them. While unicorns don't say magic words, because the horn is a part of them and operates based on their thoughts, given the way this amulet works....." I held up the necklace embedded gemstone, which was now glowing with full luminosity once again, having recharged over night.

"It is reasonable to assume that in this world, where magic actually exists, by focusing on a gemstone, one can charge it with magic, and then release it by speaking the magic words for what you want to occur. Given that it has been proven to work here, at least in the case of this thing, I believe that this world is also where humans got their legends on magic."

Trixie had gathered the eight gem lamps from around camp and brought them before me.

"Now, as we all know, unicorns are much more adept at magic than the other species of this world, but that doesn't mean we are lacking. Pegasi and griffins are skilled with weather control, meaning wind and water, while earth ponies are adept with healing and growth, diamond dogs with the earth, and dragons with fire. Watch this gem carefully." I held one of the gem lamps, focusing on it till I was sweating greatly, it began to glow very faintly.

"Success! I have just given this lamp a neutral magic charge. Trixie, would you mind? Focus on these lamps and pour your magic into them, but don't give it form, just blank."

"So wait, you want me to cast a spell, without actually forming a spell? Just throw my magic at them so they absorb it?" She clarified.

"Yeah, basically."

"Alright....." Trixie's horn began to glow, and with it, the gems did as well. They shimmered brightly. Now, the gems were... small... to say the least, as they were only meant to contain a basic light spell for about an hour.

"Now that they're filled, they are ready to be used. I hope that this works." I pointed the wand at Gilda. "Aqua!"

Gilda was slightly wet, as though she had been in a heavy downpour for about three seconds. She wasn't dripping, it was like when you get out of the shower and let yourself drip dry. Just.... moist. She scowled.

"Very funny Grif." The rest of the camp, including me, struggled to stifle our giggles. I took another of the charged lamps in my hand and pointed it at her again.

"So, proof of theory. With these charged up, we can perform extremely weak, basic level spells. My amulet is a higher level of gem, and has been altered to have a specific purpose, while these have not, and can be used for a variety of purposes. Ventus." A slight gust of wind dried Gilda off, making her feathers puff out. She looked like a fuzz ball. Everyone stopped trying to holding their giggles and entered full laughter, with the dogs whimpering from the pain in their sides between laughs. She glared at me, annoyed.

"I am so glad I went through the whole Harry Potter phase and learned some Latin, this is fucking hilarious!"

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Gimme that." Gilda grabbed one of her own. "So, a word? Um...... Little help?"

"Yeah, give me a sec....... umbra. it means 'dark'. or 'shadow'."

"Hey Grif, what's Harry Potter?" Trixie asked me.

"Umbra." Gilda said, pointing the makeshift wand at me.

"Well Trixie, it's a .............................................................................................................. that he's a wizard. Wait.... what the hell?"

"Um yeah, I was kind of expecting it to, you know.... get dark?" Gilda asked.

"Hold on..... oh! Umbra can also mean silence, although it's not normally used like that. Since the word has multiple meanings, I figure it went by your intent. Let me guess, you were wishing we'd all just shut up, right?" She nodded, still fluffy, as she used her claws to comb her feathers down.

"This is brilliant! Okay, officially new favorite spell! Etch, Growl, each of you take one." I tossed on of each to the dogs, who grabbed them and looked at them. Etch was excited, while Growl was confused.

"So, what do we say?" Etch asked.

"Well, what do you want?" I replied.

"What about blind?" Growl returned.

"Hmm... no.. I don't know that one. I'm not a master of it, I only know some nouns, blind is an adjective...."

"What about cold?"

"Hmm, cold, I'm not positive..... Refrigerator, frigid.... frigo? No, frigus? Yeah, I think it's frigus." He pointed the wand at me and said it. I felt a chill up my spine, but not much more.

"Well, it worked, just not very effective. It would be useful in certain situation, like trapped in........" I shuddered. "Spider webs, we could use 'ignus' to light them up. I don't see it being that useful, only somewhat more so than clacking flint together, but it means that every one of these gems that you dug up suddenly became a moderately useful multi tool. Instead of Trixie casting the light spell, which then lasts only an hour before she has to recharge it, she can just fill it with magic and, 'lumen', we can turn it on whenever we want." One of the lamps I held lit up the way they normally do.

"Also, things that need more energy will be less powerful. For example, fire and lightning need a lot of energy to work, because of the high energy state, while simple light, wind, or gathering vapor droplets together to make water don't need as much. The spells will also vary based on where we are. We're in a rain forest, so when I used 'aqua' or Gilda, there was a lot of water just hanging in the air, so she got pretty soaked. If we were in a desert, it wouldn't do anything at all, while fire would be a lot easier. Trying earth spells while up here would be pointless, while under ground it could cause cave ins, and since we're up high and there's naturally wind, ventus is more effective as well. We pretty much need to think about where we are when we use them to get the greatest effect."

"So, if we are in a desert and need water, we won't be able to get any, but in the jungle where it's everywhere we can call on it whenever we want?" Gilda scoffed.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Well, that's worthless." She tossed her expended torch into the pile with the rest of them.

"It's not worthless, just mildly useful. For example, if we had a REALLY big gem and there was a flood, we could use aqua to direct it away. It's more like if you see something but can't get it, or you need to diminish something. And pranks. Very useful for pranks."

"Pranks you say?" Gilda suddenly became re-interested.

"For example, mocking Princess Luna. When speaking to our subjects, it is tradition to use the royal we, and 'sonor' USE THIS MUCH VOLUME!" Etch and growl covered their ears, while Gilda and Trixie had a laugh riot. Nadene didn't get the joke.

"I guess it acts as an amplifier. I had to yell, but it came out much louder than normal. Oh, I can see having lots of fun with this one." I picked up another one.

"Sonor. ..................................... What happened?" I looked to see Etch, pointing his wand at me.

"You used umbra, didn't you?" He nodded.

"Too loud?" He nodded again, and everyone broke out in laughter once more. Nadene used ignis and set the treehouse on fire, and that was the last charged lamp so we set about trying to put contain it while Trixie recharged them. She then used 'aqua' with all of them, not only dousing the fire, but the lot of us, and we all agreed to not to use fire spells around flammable things anymore.

Dear Princess Celestia,

If a blue house has blue bricks, a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks,
What colour bricks does a greenhouse have?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Now I know what you're thinking, Gary Stu time. No. A gem about half the size of what you'd find on one of Rarity's outfits had the same amount of juice as a BIC lighter with the nozzle opened all the way. For Gary Stu level, they'd need something the size of Tom, and have twenty unicorns charge it for an hour. Back in chapter 22, Here Kitty Kitty, I mentioned Gem Torches, or Gem Lamps, Basically, they're just a gem on a stick, with a spell cast on them so they give off light. Since gems store magic well, it means that they have a heatless source of light that they can use in place of a torch, and it doesn't get consumed. Trixie just uses her magic to light them up again once they go out. So, Grif got creative and made them into one shot, rechargeable wands for spells that Ditzy Do as a unicorn could cast without error. It's simpler, but it's also more limited.

Diplomacy Part 1 (26)

Diplomacy Part 1

"I don't get it." I told Gilda while shaking. Nadene had given me another of those 'mana potions' to try and help me overcome my worsening condition.

"I keep having these nightmares, and it's always about a river of blood trying to force itself down my throat. It doesn't make any sense to me." Trixie, on my back, was rubbing me with her hooves, trying to calm me down. Who ever thought of her as the caring type right? Maybe she just didn't want her ride out of commission.

"So, blood keeps trying to make you drink it? Sounds kind of weird. I hope you aren't turning into a vampire." Nadene mused.

"I'd be fine with vampirism, so long as I don't sparkle. I always liked the night better anyway." Everyone looked at me like I was an idiot before dismissing it as just another human thing.

"Is there anything else about the dream? Darkness, blood, what else?" Trixie asked.

"Well, right before I wake up, I always get a sour taste in my mouth, but I don't get what that might mean."

"It's kinda obvious when you think about it Grif." Gilda deadpanned.

"Huh?"

"Remember, dragon blood is sour. You told me that after you killed that big black one."

"Hold on, shakes, headache, trouble focusing, dreams of blood forcing itself down my throat, irritable, no wait, that last one is just me...... well fuck. I'm a drug addict, and the drug is dragon blood. Wow, hooked after one use? I didn't think I'd be such a lightweight. Damn it."

"Now that I think about it, it's been about two months since you had it, and it's starting to act up now? What gives?"

"I'm not sure, and we can't do anything unless I know more. Can you read through these books? I can't really concentrate right now. I need to know what to do."

Gilda spent about two hours reading through, pointless as the books didn't have any info on dragons, while Trixie kept massaging my temples and neck, and Nadene was trying out various restorative potions on me to see what helped. The dogs were a little wary, after all, a crew isn't in good shape if their captain is out of it. As I sat against a tree, I picked up Hades and looked at it intently, admiring the gleam coming off of it as it shimmered in the sun.

"I wish we had a sauna, the steam might make me feel better. Hold on, what?" Just as I said that, my condition suddenly improved.

"What is it?" The dogs asked.

"I just said I wish I had a sauna to make me feel better, and then my headache went away."

"It's just the potions kicking in." Gilda replied.

"Well, I feel better. I think it's time to look for a tribe to dump all this gold off on."

Gilda and I flew for a bit, leaving Nadene at home with Etch while I had Trixie ride me, Growl being carried by my flight partner. I figured I leave the dogs out of too much, and while Trix and I had become inseparable, mostly due to the fact that she liked riding me, I liked being ridden, and we were much more effective at combat as a unit. So Nadene got to stay behind this time. I still don't know why I like it so much. At first I thought it was because ponies are soft, but even through the armor, it just feels right to have something there. Anyways, we found another village and I motioned for us to drop down. we didn't bring any of the loot with us, we wanted to see what each group had before we went and hauled a hundred pounds of gold all over the jungle.

Also, I realized something, while Equestria called this place the great southern rainforest, griffins called it the feline jungle. I assumed it was because cheetahs, lions, manticores and stuff were here, but since there's the pseudo khajiit as well, I think that's where we got the name from. Strange. It's like ponies literally have no care about what goes on outside their borders, and didn't even bother learning about them, considering that griffins, on the other side of the continent, have at least some form of knowledge on the topic.

After we landed, we decided to be very careful in our approach, in order to lessen the culture shock of seeing an unknown race. Or so we thought. Turns out, they knew very well what a griffin was, considering that they had a live one strung up over a not yet burning fire pit. I recognize this as Carl's former companion. She looked scared out of her mind.

"Oh damn it all. Meeting."

"Looks like the griffin who was formerly known as Carl's bitch is about to get cooked. Honestly, I wish Nadene was here at this point. I mean, we could save her, but I don't know how she'd feel about having one of the ones who killed her mother and destroyed her village being rescued by us. Or, we could just let them eat her, and that would prevent a degrading relationship with this group. What do you think?"

"Well, yeah she made a mistake, but from the looks of it, it's not like she wanted to do that. It's more like 'green' threatened her. I'd hate to see another griffin go down the tubes, at least not without a fair trial." Gilda remarked.

"I say we let slaver griffin burn." Growl added.

"We could always use an extra pair of hands." Trixie, who had started picking up on my lingo, said hands instead of hooves. I am so proud.

"I kinda want to see her burn, you know, for hanging out with Carl. Draw..... so we go in and find out what this is all about first and see if one of us changes our minds?"" The group nodded in agreement.

"Alright, no idea if they're hostile, so...... Trixie? Clone me up will ya? Just make have it approach and mimic what I say. Gilda, leave Growl here, go back and get the others, fast. I'll need their opinion on this as well."

Gilda took off as the fake me sauntered out into the village. The cat men all took up spears and axes of sorts, looking for a fight.

"Hola mis amigos! How are you on this bright and sunny day?" Trixie looked at me with confusion, while the cats looked at the fake me in the same way.

"I can't help but notice you are getting ready to cook that griffin. Might I ask why?"

A cheetah patterned woman walked up and looked in the illusion's eyes, as though examining him.

"Because we're 'ungry, that's why! Ya blind er sumthin? Er can't ya see our ribs beneath the fur?" She said with the voice you'd expect a witch to have.

"Well, that's no reason to eat someone. How can you be hungry? The forest has an abundance of food."

"Not anymore it don't. Take a look around would ya? Not a single nanner on them trees. You know why? Cuz the Romak tribe been stealin em! This is Lemko land, OUR land, and they won't stay offa it! We're warriors, but they're the sneaky type. They know we'd beat em in a straight up fight, but they're too afraid to come and face us proper!" The hag coughed. As I looked around, I could tell that they clearly were emaciated. If something wasn't done soon, they'd all die from illness, stemming from malnutrition.

"Is that so? I see...... well now. It sounds like you have a problem. Lucky for you, I'm a guy who solves problems. For the right price of course."

"Bah, damn greedy, that's what you are. Always about the money eh? Ain't willin to help someone in a tight spot out of the goodness of yer heart?" She tried to slap me, of course, it wasn't me, so it just turned to mist. My laugh echoed through the wood.

"Err, where are ya! Show yerself!" They all took up armed positions as Growl, myself, and Trixie on my back left the treeline.

"I could care less about your money. In fact, right now, I have more than I know what to do with. I'm interested in something else."

"And what might that be?" The village elder asked in her usual tone.

"That." I pointed at the griffin.

"That's our dinner. We don't eat that, we starve."

"Well, that's a problem then. Hows about this, you hold off on cooking her while the rest of my crew gets here, and then we figure something out?" With a huff and a growl, and a shake of her mane, causing all the little bone fragment clips and such to jingle around, she agreed. Honestly, she looks like a freaking Hagraven, or that might just be my Skyrim packed brain trying to process it. She was creepy as hell though. Gilda eventually arrived, bringing Etch and Nadene with her. The cat looked shocked to see the state that they were in. She was about to run towards them to help, but I put my hand out, motioning her to stay back. Don't want to give away the bargaining chips.

"Well now, glad you got here. We've got a couple options, but given the nature of this, I'm leaving it up to you Nadene, you and you alone. That's the griffin who was with Carl. We either negotiate to free her, or we let them eat her and be on our merry way." Gagged and hanging on a fire spit, the griffin, who clearly didn't have her adult feathers in yet, was crying her green eyes out in fear, and also recognition of our group. Nadene seemed to be struggling with herself over the decision, grabbing the sides of her head as she thought. After all, she was part of the group that had killed her mother and enslaved her village.

"Well?"

"I need to know more. I.... have to hear her side of the story, why she did what she did. Then I'll make a decision." Nadene was deep in thought.

"So basically, we need to have a court case. Damnit, I hate law."

"Alright. Here's the deal, first, elder, state your name."

"You may call me Elder. Only members of the tribe may speak my name."

"Fair enough, Elder, the griffin you have with you has been accused of crimes by our own Nadene. We wish to have a trial to determine her guilt. Will you allow this?"

"You want us to release her to you so you can put her on trial? What would we receive in return?" She asked.

"Medical care by the plaintiff, as well as food. Considering that we griffins can fly, we can gather a substantial amount of it quickly, from other regions. We'll feed your people, and then we can get this underway." She agreed to the terms, Nadene set about administering care to the sick and injured, while Etch and Growl went about assisting her. Trixie stayed behind to make sure everything went smoothly, while Gilda and I went out to gather food from our own area.

"Hey Grif? You've got that thinking face on. What's up?" Gilda asked as we flew.

"The Romak have been stealing food from the Lemko land, making the Lemko starve. But why would they do that? There would be no reason to unless either A, they're trying to take over, which is unlikely considering the way their kind conducts themselves, or B, they have a food shortage of their own. But why would that be? They're right on the border of the volcanic lands, so plants grow really well there. What could cause them to have a lack of food, so much so that they'd steal from a known warrior tribe? I mean, it sounds like desperation."

"I'm not sure. Even with your drug addiction, you're still able to come up with this. Impressive." Gilda remarked.

"Yeah, that blue stuff Nadene's been giving me works wonders. Besides, I only get the shakes in the morning. I wonder why that is?"

We gathered up some food, taking our time to get plenty. We didn't need to worry about the others. After all, they could handle themselves, or at least as much as to escape if cornered. Hauling back a big burlap sack full of some kind of red striped banana, we arrived and delivered it, to which the towns....cats..... dug into with haste.

"Very well, we will allow this trial of yours. Since we no longer need to eat her, she is yours to do with as you please." Elder stated. Pushing dirty thoughts out of my mind, (Hey, I belong to Gilda alright?) the griffin was released, held guard by the dogs, who she looked disgusted with, so she wouldn't fly away.

"State your name."

"M.....Maria." The griffin stuttered.

"This, is Nadene. She will be your judge and jury, and if it comes to it, executioner. I will be the prosecution, and Gilda, the defense. Etch, Growl, and Trixie will be the guards, and this town, the witnesses. You will tell the entire truth, leaving nothing out and attempting no fallacy."

"W...what?"

"The kitty is going to decide what we do with you, I'm gonna convince her you've been a bad birdy, while my friend over there tries to convince her that you're not an evil murderess. The dogs and unicorn are going to make sure you don't get away, and the entire town gets to watch. You're going to tell us your side of the story, all of it, and you aren't going to lie, because if you do, I'll catch it and it'll just prove my case. Got it?"

"Um, okay?"

"Good, now that everything is set, let the trial begin!"

We all took positions around the firepit in the center of town, the warrior kitties happily eating the fruit that we had brought. There was only about... say... 30 or so of them, pretty small village, but then again, we have no idea how long they've been starving for, and how many might have died already. they seemed pretty happy though, given that they had food and medical attention now, as well as entertainment of sorts. Once everyone was in position, I took my spot across from Gilda, with Nadene in the circle on my right, and Maria on the left, held by the dogs who flanked her.

'Oh my gosh, I can't believe I get to do this! Every time I've been in court, (parents went through divorce, custody battles suck for the kids, in my case, both parents arguing about who I loved more when I hated both) it was always incredibly dull. I finally get to do one my style. But wait, I'm the prosecution, doesn't that make me Edgeworth?'

Dear Princess Luna,

Do you have a pet?

Sincerely, Nadene the cat.

Ps: Meow.

What? Grif's doing a legal drama? Okay, so maybe he could have just asked her what happened, and dealt with it that way..... but where would be the fun in that? He's going to have as much fun with it as he can. And that means having an overly dramatic session of desk slamming and finger pointing while epic music plays in the background. I was debating on when to send this chapter out. I mean, I've been giving you one a day. I don't really like holding off, because then I can't get feedback. You guys are just as much a part of the evolution of this fic as I am. Okay, maybe not as much, but still, you're important. Carnelian made the cover art about 2000% cooler, honestly, it looks badass. He acts like it's nothing special.... modest bastard.

Diplomacy Part 2 (27)

Diplomacy Part 2

After giving Gilda a few moments with Maria to go over what they were going to say, we all took our positions and began. (Since there is a lot of talking, Griffin will be speaking in red, Maria in purple Gilda in blue., and Nadene in orange.)

"Let's begin shall we? Maria, you are charged with assisted murder, enslavement, theft, and destruction of public property, the murder being the mother of Nadene, who is overseeing this trial. How do you plead?"

"I, I don't understand..." The grey feathered griffin responded.

"Innocent, or guilty?"

"Innocent."

"Very well, let's get this trial underway. Were you, or were you not, part of a three person group, consisting of yourself, a unicorn, and another griffin, by the name of Carl?"

"I, didn't know his name was Carl, he said he was Fenix....." She trailed off.

"That is besides the point, he used a fake name, we have already established this. Were you a part of that group?"

"Yes."

"And what was that group's purpose?"

"To survive."

"I see. Let's start at the beginning. When did you meet the other griffin?"

"Well, I was being chased when he found me."

"Chased by who?"

"Cats. There was a whole group of pumas... 3 or four, I forget."

"And then what happened?"

"Well, I was being chased, and that's when he and the unicorn showed up. He tackled one of them and killed it, while the unicorn, Ember, used fire to keep the rest at bay. He eventually scared them off."

"And why is it that you didn't fly away?"

"My wings were injured."

"How long ago was this?"

"A month and a half, maybe two months?"

'If she's telling the truth, Carl got sent here maybe a day after I did. What the hell, did the worlds really cross over for a day, and all the powers that be sent their pawns?'

"So, how did your wings get injured?"

"I was shot."

"By who?"

"A pegasus guard in Briarhoof Mill. A small farming community, just outside the forest."

"The reason?"

"I got caught stealing food, and when I tried to escape, they shot at me. I was able to make it to the jungle, but I couldn't fly anymore."

"So, you were fleeing the authorities, and took to the jungle to hide?"

"Yes."

"That seems rather foolish, considering the punishment for stealing food is only a couple of days, after which you would have gotten help, perhaps a job, and would have been able to live in peace."

"You say that now, but when the guards yell, 'Stop right there criminal scum!' all you want to do is run. Besides, they're ponies. There's no way they'd go easy on a griffin. They'd probably pin everything from animal attacks to last years drought on me."

'She did NOT just say that! And yeah, the ponies really would do that.'

"So, you entered the jungle, were chased by pumas, then rescued by Carl and Ember, is this correct?"

"Yes."

"Alright, when did you arrive at the Vren village?"

"About a month ago."

"Why did you go there?"

"We stumbled across it, really. We were just looking for any signs of civilization."

"And the reason?"

"My wing, after a week, had gotten infected."

"So then what happened?"

"Carl found out that they weren't fighters. He heard about the griffin pirates somewhere, and our group matched pretty well, so we decided to go for the intimidation route. They wouldn't share freely, so we had to try and take what we needed in terms of food and medicine. The woman tried to fight back, and he killed her. Then he took over the village. If he didn't keep them in line, they would have certainly lashed out at us, despite their peaceful nature. Then he made them carry him around like he was some kind of king, he took everything they had, and anytime someone raised a voice about it, he'd remind them that he had taken the chief."

"OBJECTION!" Maria looked shocked that I had suddenly raised my voice.

"If Carl was able to find out that they weren't fighters, then he would have known that they share what they have! Their entire existence is about helping others! It's why they don't have warriors in the first place. They don't need them. They have good relations with the other tribes, who protect them in exchange for healing. They would have welcomed you with open arms! As for food, it is plentiful in the land of the Vren, and would not have been an issue. What's more, Nadene was witness to the scene of her mother's death. Both her parents hated fighting, and neither stood up against him. His reason for killing her was to set an example for the rest, to keep them in line so he could take over! It wasn't about trying to get meager provisions, it was about one thing and one thing alone, GREED! He killed an innocent woman, burnt down half a village, and took everything they had, and YOU helped him!" I pointed my claw at her, and the entire crowd seemed shocked.

"HOLD IT!" Gilda, who had been quiet the whole time, suddenly spoke up. We had actually gone over what we would say beforehand, just to make it more interesting. While this wasn't a regular court case, it was certainly the most entertaining one I had ever seen. The crowd seemed to be eating it up.

"Griffin, you knew Carl personally, did you not?"

"Yes, I did."

"And, would you say that he was a liar?"

"Absolutely."

"Then how do you know my client, Maria, wasn't simply being lied to! Given the way she reacted in most situations, it's clear that she is naive, and the one responsible for the crime was manipulating her!" Gilda said as she slammed her claws on the log in front of her. Normally used for the cats to sit on, it was the perfect height for a griffin desk.

"However, that does not change the fact that even after he committed that crime, she still assisted in robbing and enslaving the Vren! She did not speak out against him, despite his wrong doings, and assisted in holding the village chief hostage!"

(Here's where you stop the music, or just keep playing it if you want.)

"I was scared alright? I knew what he was doing was wrong, but he had just killed someone. I had no idea he was going to do that! I mean, he killed a puma, but that's just an animal! How was I supposed to know he'd kill a person? By that point, I was too far in to back out. He told me to just keep quiet and go along with it. As long as I did that, he'd make sure I was taken care of, and he wouldn't hurt me. I'm just so tired! I'm tired of running, tired of trying to scrape out a meager living in a land that doesn't want me! Am I not allowed to be happy?"

Her words struck a chord. Those very same words, that I had asked myself so many times, I found coming out of someone else's mouth. Still, she had admitted to her crime, and while I didn't get her for murder, I did on the other counts. I've done my job.

"So then, you admit to willful theft, enslavement, and destruction of public and private property?"

"Yes."

At which point, myself, Gilda, and Nadene huddled up at the cat's position.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear. Nadene, you've been quiet this whole time, anything you want to ask her?"

"Nah, I'm quite content with the job you two did getting the story out of her. I'm ready for my... verdict was it?" She asked.

"Yep. Alright, back to your positions."

"Maria, for the crime of the murder of my mother, I find you not guilty." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"However, for the theft, enslavement, and kidnapping of my people and their property, I find you guilty on all counts." Her heart looked like it was about to leap out of her throat.

"Since my father, the village chief, was returned in good health, and all the stolen goods returned, I am dropping those charges. However, as for enslavement, your punishment will be to serve as my mount, as part of the Griffin Pirate crew. You will not be given decision making privileges within the group, as you will be considered an extension of myself, however, you will be taken care of, fed, trained in combat, and treated as a part of our family, so long as you continue to play your role."

The crowd looked pleased with her decision, as did Maria. Being taken care of, having a family? No longer having to be afraid? It was a wonderful possibility. The dogs released her, and she went flying to the cat and nuzzled up against her.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just.. so stupid. I was afraid, and I couldn't see past my own beak. I know I can never make up for what I helped him to do, but, I'm glad I at least have the chance to try." Nadene held her in her long, cat arms.

"Tell me Maria, how old are you?"

"I'm fourteen."

After briefly discussing with Gilda the average griffin age, should they die of old age and not the plethora of other causes, I learned that 19 was the age of griffin maturity, (mating age), as compared to the human age 14, which is when griffins reach full size. Griffins live to be about 150 years old, as it turns out. I'm not sure of Gilda's age. So on the griffin age scale, Maria is about a ten year old as a human. No wonder she was scared.

"Sorry we had to go through that Maria, but we had to know what was really going on. You're just a kid, and some big mean guy comes along, saves your life, and tells you he'll take care of you. You didn't really have a choice. Either go along with it, or die. But we had to make sure. That, and it was really fun!"

Tears flowing from her green eyes, staining Nadene's orange coat and her own grey feathers, Maria had curled up in a ball in the cat's arms. Of course, she was far too heavy for that, causing them both to fall over in a heap. She really is just a kid after all. Probably lost her parents, maybe to a dragon, although given the way she looks at Etch and Growl, it was D-dogs.

"This is tuchin an all, but what erbout our problem? The Romak ain't gonna stop stealin our food, and we can't keep relyin on you birdies to bring us some." The old hag Elder stated. Right, solve one problem, now I get reminded of the next one.

"Well, first we're going to get the newest member of our crew acquainted with how we do things. We'll be back tomorrow with some more food, and then we'll discuss what we're going to do about this whole Romak-Lemko problem, alright?" She agreed in her normal huffy manner, and so, Gilda carrying the dogs, Trixie on my back, and Nadene on Maria bareback, all flew back to our camp. We were about halfway there, before I started shaking.

"Hey Grif, you alright?" My unicorn rider asked. I didn't answer.

"Grif? Oh shit! Gilda! We're going down!"

'This is gonna hurt.' I blacked out before I hit the ground.

Blood. Blood everywhere. I didn't even try running. I dove right into the stream, trying to drink it all, which I surprisingly succeeded in doing.

Is this it? Is this what you're trying to tell me? That I need more? I already know that! Now I'm arguing with my subconscious.

"Hey Grif? Nadene, he's coming to." I felt my back was on hard wood. Shaking my head to clear my muddled thoughts,

"Here, drink this." I found a vial in front of me, full of good old blue stuff, which I guzzled.

"What was that all about Grif? We had to drag you back to camp." Gilda said with scorn.

"I, I think I'm getting worse."

"Ya don't say?" She replied.

"I think, if I don't find a dragon soon, I might die."

"What's going on? I don't understand." Maria asked.

"Grif here drank dragon blood once on accident, and as it turns out, he got addicted to it." Nadene answered.

"I don't think it's a normal addiction guys. With normal addiction, if you stop taking it, you eventually get over it. If you try to stop, you get withdraw symptoms, which cause strain on the body. But this..... the strain is getting worse and worse. I think it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better, and if that's the case, I'll die. FUCK! Pisses me off! Maybe I could quit, but I can't just do it cold turkey, I need to get off it by slowly cutting down on how much I have, until it's only a drop at a time."

"Which means we need to find a dragon. The problem is, even if we could kill another one, they're all up north." Gilda added. I picked up Hades again, admiring it.

"I got this when I killed that big black one, how was I supposed to know dragon blood was addictive? It didn't have any effect when I had it, so I didn't think it was a drug. If we had a doctor, maybe they could find a cure, or at least treatment. So, either I find a medic or get more dragon blood." As I spoke, a small shimmer ran up my sword's edge, ending in a twinkle at the point. I suddenly felt better again.

"Okay, now what the hell, I'm feeling fine again. You all saw that right?" They nodded.

"Trixie, try and throw your magic at my sword, like you do with the gems." She nodded again, closing her eyes as her horn glowed ever brighter, before it knocked her over on her back.

"No good, it just bounces off."

"Damn, maybe it's a coincidence, or am I going crazy?"

"I don't know. Well, we should get moving, collecting the food we need for the Lemko for tomorrow." Gilda suggested.

I got up, and was then knocked right back down by Trixie.

"Oh no, not you mister. I was barely able to lift you enough to prevent us from crashing headfirst into the forest floor, I'm not having you go out there again. You are going to lay here and get some rest." Great, I'm being mothered by a unicorn.

"I'm the captain and I'm going."

"And I'm the potion maker, and while I'm not a doctor, I am currently this group's medic. I say you're currently unfit for duty, and need to get bed rest." Nadene retorted. Damn, has she been watching Star Trek or something? How'd she know that?

"Fine, you win." I walked over to the corner and curled myself up.

Gilda and Maria flew off to collect the food we'd need for the tribe, and presumable to get to know each other better, while Nadene went about making potions, Etch and Growl began their usual practice with Trixie, and I went to sleep.

"I'm worried about you Grif. Before I met you, I had nothing to live for, and now, I have real hope of being able to pull this off. We keep gaining momentum, but it'll all fall apart if we lose you. Please be okay."

Dear Princess Luna,

What is the main ingredient in moon pies?

Sincerely, Griffin.

OBJECTION! I have all the evidence I need! The one who actually committed the crime, is YOU! No alibi, no justice, no dream, no hope! It's time to pay for your crimes, TAKE THAT!

Diplomacy Part 3 (28)

Diplomacy Part 3

Waking up, holding my hand to my head, Nadene had already prepared a treatment for me. Rather than the usual potion for assisting in focus, she gave me something for nerves. It stopped the shaking and the headache, but did nothing to improve my appetite. I had to force myself to eat. I just wasn't hungry anymore, but I knew if I didn't eat, I'd get weak. Had to try and force the food down. After I had gotten over my shakes, we geared up and headed back to the Lemko village.

"So, yer back, jus like ya said yud be." I was greeted by Elder.

"Yeah, I had a bit of a problem, but it's taken care of for the moment."

"So, whipper snapper, wut's yer brilliant idea for dealin with the Romak? Eh?" She asked.

"A show of force."

"Wut's that supposed ta mean?"

"Simple, your tribe is a group of warriors. Since you've been able to eat and have gotten medical treatment, we arm ourselves and head to the Romak."

"So, we're gonna attack em and take the land fer ourselves?" Elder questioned.

"Possibly. Judging from what I know of your kind, you wouldn't just go to war for no good reason, and attacking a warrior tribe is a bad move. We're going to find out what happened."

"What do you mean?"

"If we show up in their village, warriors and pirates in a display of force, they'll have no choice but to tell us what's going on. If they really are trying to wipe your tribe out, then we'll defeat them, but if that's not the case, if they have a problem that they can't deal with, then we'll help them with it and restore relations between the tribes."

"So, they're stealin food from us, and you want ta help them?" She said incredulously.

"If they have a food shortage, that would mean they'd have to go to other lands to feed their own people. If they're trapped, then yes. By helping them, it opens up negotiations. If they're just being greedy, then we'll invade. But we need to figure out what's happening first. This will only work if you follow my lead, and take your commands from me. I don't need anyone acting out ahead of time. If it comes down to it, I have to be the one to give the order to attack, understand?"

"You're not part of our tribe. Why should we trust you? Why should we do anything you say?" One of the younger cats voiced his opinion, clearly speaking for the majority.

"Well, if you want, we can just leave and let you solve this the way you want to, but since you were all starving yesterday, I think it's fair to say that this is a situation you CAN'T handle on your own. So, do you want our help or not?"

The villagers began to grumble, until Elder slammed the base of her staff into the ground.

"Quiet ya whinin kittens, he's gonna help us, and you're all grumblin about it?" She roared. For an old hag, she's pretty tough, and her frail form hides surprising strength.

"Accepting help from others, who are not of our tribe, it is not our way!" Another spoke up.

"Well then, if that's the case, how about this. If this all works out, I'll join your tribe. Then it wouldn't be against your traditions would it?"

"Are you sure you want to do that birdy? To join the tribe, you have to perform a great feat and prove yourself as a warrior." Elder warned.

"If I can bring peace to your tribe, that will serve as my feat. As for being a warrior, my crew can attest to that." At which point, every member of the Griffin Pirates took a fight stance and growled menacingly.

"The proof will come from action, not words."

"Very well. Should we succeed, I will perform whatever task you deem necessary to prove myself a warrior. If we fail, well, I don't think your tribe will have much of a future to worry about, considering where it's been going."

With grumbles and roars, the tribe agreed, and with their bellies full, their strength restored, they gathered their arms and prepared to march. 20 warriors, both male and female, carrying axes, swords, and spears of bone. They wore armor made of tree bark. They traveled on foot while we flew overhead to get a better view. Since Trixie could use magic, I replaced the arrows I had in my possession with more vials of every kind. Smoke, knockout, explosive, and thermite. They would be far more effective. Ranged attacks would be spells Trixie would shoot. Instead, Gilda carried the arrows. Nadene, riding Maria, had a blow gun made of bamboo, with poison darts from the temple, and her daggers for close range. Etch and Growl had gem spears with bamboo shafts, the gems charged so they could perform a basic spell, as well as their bows and arrows. I had my chainmail, while Gilda had her thick leather 'biker jacker', befitting of a ranger, while the dogs had just their clothes for better mobility. Nadene was also just wearing clothing, and Maria was unarmored. It's strange how I never noticed it, but we were really beginning to shape up as a crew. Gathering more members, getting more and better gear, improving our skills. I had instructed Nadene to keep Maria out of combat, as we had yet to train her. We still had a ways to go, but we were getting there.

"Hold up."

"What is it Grif?" Gilda asked.

"Look there." I pointed to where there was smoke rising. There was a MASSIVE volcano in the distance spewing hot ash, clouding over the whole area. We were nearing the border to the Volcanic Wastes. There was a village near the edge. Or what's left of one. A great number of trees had been destroyed, blackened and dead. Burned.

"What the fuck? Isn't this Romak land?"

"We should probably check in with the ground forces." Trixie suggested.

"I agree."

Flying back down to meet the troops, which were surprisingly lead by that old hag, (Who would have thought her to be a fighter? Then again, to live to be that old in a tribe of warriors, she's gotta be a tough old biddy.) They looked to us for explanation.

"Destroyed. Burned. There's nothing left."

"How can that be?" A tiger striped woman asked.

"I don't know. What I do know is why they were stealing food from you. Their village, and all their fruit trees got burned down. After that happened, all the meat left too. They're probably hiding out somewhere nearby..... Trixie! Shield!" I called right before I heard distant twangs, arrows bouncing harmlessly off the yellow dome she had brought up. We all drew our weapons in preparation.

'Damn it all. If the mission goes well, it's an ambush. Lucky for me I'm damn good. I called that one before it even happened.'

"Romak! Reveal yourselves!" I yelled into the forest.

"Why........" A voice hissed. "So you can cut us down?........" The echo through the jungle was unnerving.

"The Romak can blend in with their surroundings. They hide themselves in the trees and drink strange brews that change the colour of their fur from their usual tones to verdant green." Elder mentioned to me. Would have been nice to know that before. Might be useful to learn how to do that. Enough of this bullshit.

"Forma Versus!" A purple shock wave spread out from the gem, not knocking anything over, but suddenly revealing a dozen or so of the cats in the tree tops around us as they changed back to their normal pigmentation. They all looked stunned that their cover had suddenly been blown. The Lemko were about to charge, but I held up my arm signalling them to stay put.

"We're not here to fight."

"You enter our lands with twenty armed soldiers, not counting yourselves. Griffin Pirates, we will not allow you to take our lands from us." The leader I assume, black like a panther.

"What land? Your village was burned to the ground, and your food sources are gone. What reason would I have to take this patch of scorched earth from you?"

"Then you would slay us for the Lemko." He growled.

"All I want is to talk. The way I see it, your food got torched, so you have to steal from the Lemko to live. That's a problem, because you were starving them to death."

"So, you would rather my own people starve then?" He spat.

"What I'm saying is, you have a problem, which became a problem for them. If we can solve your problem, we'll solve theirs at the same time."

"What would you receive in return? Pirates do not simply act of 'good will'. What's in it for you?" He was at least interested. As long as he keeps talking, I can work this out.

"I happen to have a fair amount of wealth, and nowhere to spend it. I can't open trade with the tribes when they're close to war, as they have other things on their minds. If I solve your problems, peace will be restored, and prosperity returned."

"You cannot rebuild our village, and you cannot regrow our trees. There is nothing you can do to help us." He said this sadly, as though depressed. I mean, his village burned down, they have no food, and they're living in trees. Of course they're depressed.

"If we discover the source of your problem, we can work out the details later. What burned your village down?"

"We do not need your help. We will not accept charity from an outsider. It is our way." He avoided the topic.

'Oh fuck it all, not this crap again. Pride is fine and all, but you need to learn when you're just being too damn stubborn. Maybe they ought to talk to Applejack? Right, they don't know about her. Well, here we go again.'

"Well then, if I solve your problem, you'll just have to make me part of the tribe, won't you? Then I would be following your way. And yes, I already know, great feat, prove myself as a warrior. Yaddi yaddi yadda."

"It matters not, this problem is beyond solving." The leader replied.

"Oh, well if it doesn't matter, you won't mind telling me. After all, it's my business if I waste my time trying to fix something impossible." Gotcha you stubborn mule!

"Very well. Our village was destroyed by dragons." He stated.

"Dragons you say?" Suddenly, I became FAAAAAR more interested in solving their problems. "I thought that the dragons were all up north?"

"They were until a while ago, when the great dragon migration happened. They flew south in droves, took up residence in the wastes. They recently began destroying parts of the jungle, including our home." The kitty was crying. Heck, all the Romak were crying. They probably lived on that land for a long time, and it had suddenly been rendered inhospitable.

"Do you see my blade?"

"What?"

"Do you see my blade?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"It is made from dragon scale and bone. I made it after I slew a dragon. What makes you believe that I wouldn't be able to do so again?"

"What?!?!?!?!" The Romak and Lemko tribes were taken aback, while my crew just laughed maniacally.

"Come now, on my own I slew a fully grown black dragon. Now, I have a crew, and twenty soldiers of the Lemko, not to mention any Romak willing to help."

"A black dragon? They are the rarest of all!" Elder proclaimed.

"Huh?"

"Their scales are the hardest of all dragons. A single black one could slay several of his other coloured kin!"

"Is that so?"

The tribes which had previously been hostile towards me suddenly gulped nervously. I love my job.

"Well then, Griffin Pirates, assemble."

"Alright, everyone, what do you think? This is unexpected, and it could really turn out well for us."

"What do you mean?" Nadene asked.

"Think about it, we do this, we'll have both these tribes owing us a great debt, they're both fighters, one strength and the other stealth, and we'd be able to arm them with scale and bone right here. We'd basically have an army NOW. We could gather the other tribes, get a ship, and bam. That would be it. We'd be ready for our final goal. What's more, since I now know that I could cut through other dragon's scales with Hades, that makes this way easier. We wouldn't have to buy mercs, and we could probably BUY a ship with the haul we have. I wanna know your takes on this."

"I'm for it. We'd be that much closer to our goals. This is a HUGE step. Besides, aren't we all about helping the oppressed? I'm in." Gilda said.

"Grif needs dragon blood soon or he'll die, and I'd like to see the tribes working together. I'm in, which mean's you're with me Maria." Nadene said, causing the griffin to start shaking.

"D...d...d...ddraaaaaagggoooonnnsssS? You're gonnnaaaa kkkkillll, DRAGONS?" She looked like she was about to cry. Great, I'm gonna have to find a way to make 'Feathershy' here buck up.

"Oh don't worry, we'll be fine! We do stuff like this aaaaaaaalllll the time, right?" The rest of the crew nodded. Nadene looked her mount in the eye.

"Just trust me alright? You'll be fine. Grif knows what he's doing. Besides, I'm also kind of looking forward to seeing him fight. I've never seen someone fight like him before, and let's face it, Carl was a pansy. I wanna see what he can REALLY do."

"Oooo..okkkayyy." Poor thing was shivering. I mean, she IS just a kid after all. I made sure Nadene knew to keep her back. After all, I'm not sure how much her daggers and blow darts could help against a dragon. Sure, if we could get the scales off, but that's the issue isn't it?

"Eeh.... I don't really like the idea of fighting dragons, but if it accomplishes our goals... and you're all sure you know what you're doing...... Alright, I'll go for it." Trixie stammered. She had the same look on her face that she did when she saw the ursa.

"You're all crazy." Etch and Growl agreed.

"Well, that's fine, because General Etch and Commander Growl, you'll be directing the ground troops. You'll both be well out of the way of the fight. I'm putting Etch in charge of the Romak rangers, and Growl in charge of the Lemko fighters. They'll be doing support, like shooting their wings to make em drop, and keeping them grounded. Don't attack unless you have a sure shot. You chickens okay with that?" Trixie and Gilda giggled. They both nodded, happy at having new titles. General and Commander, not Scootaloo.

"Gilda, you'll pull distraction. Get them to look at you while I lop their heads off."

"Always making the pretty one the distraction?"

"Yep, Trixie, you'll make us invisible. As soon as I cut through them, I'll need you to recast the spell. Offensive spells won't be any good here. Also, if you get an opening, toss some exploding vials in their mouths.

After explaining the situation to the Romak and Lemko tribes, going over the plan of attack the next time a dragon shows up, we all prepared ourselves.

"Now all we need is a dragon."

Judging by a roar and a flickering orange dot we spotted dipping under the clouds of ash on the horizon, we wouldn't have to wait long. I took out three gem wands and told everyone to cover their ears. Using the sound spell, 'Sonor' on myself with each of them, I yelled as loud as I could.

HEY DRAGONS! COME AND GET ME YOU UGLY FUCKS!

Dear Princess Celestia,

Have you ever toured a glue factory?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Dear Princess Luna,

Do you like my letters?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Ps. I wrote two letters today, so

THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!

Blood (29)

Blood

HEY DRAGONS! COME AND GET ME YOU UGLY FUCKS!

I could literally see the force of my yell rolling up into the air. It hurt my ears, a lot, and I had them covered. Etch and Growl had actually gone as far as to bury their heads underground. After a few moments, that little orange dot up in the clouds returned my taunt with a screech and a lick of flame spouting, then turned and headed towards us. I rolled all my joints, cracking them satisfyingly, then dug my claws into the ground and began to shake.

"Oh no, not now! Grif, are you gonna be okay?" Trixie began. Gilda looked at me.

"It's not that Trix, it's different. I know what's going on."

"What is it? I don't understand." Maria replied.

"He's only ever looked like this twice before. Both times, I only caught a glimpse of it. The first time, was against the black dragon, and the second time, the diamond dogs. He's not shaking from the effects of the dragon blood, and it's not with fear. It's not quite excitement either. The mad grin on his face, his gaze with searing intensity. He probably can't even hear us right now. He's too focused."

"But, what is it?" Nadene asked.

"I forgot, you've never seen it before. There is only one name for this. Bloodlust. He's about to go wild on that dragon. He can't wait to shred it into tiny little pieces. The reason why he gave us all such detailed orders ahead of time? Because he's might not be in able to in the fight, all depending on how crazy he gets. Anything he says may just come out as a screech. He's basically going to go bonkers for a little while. Better hold on Trix, and try not to lose your lunch, you're in for a wild ride. One more thing, I've never seen it this intense before. It would be best if we all just stayed out of his way. There's no telling if he'll even recognize us as friends out there."

'Bloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodbloodblood.'

"This is gonna be fun........."

The dragon had gotten closer now, and was beginning to search for us. I was quivering with excitement and desire. I wanted nothing more than to hack that dragon into teeny tiny pieces and eat it. Probably because part of my brain was telling me that I needed it, and partly because I KNEW I could kill it. Black dragon scales are the hardest there are, and mine was sharpened to the point that if I dropped one of my feathers on it's edge, the weight of the feather would be enough to force the blade to cut it. Literally. I tried it and it worked. I was going to enjoy this immensely. With an eagles shriek, I took off into the sky, Gilda followed suit. Nadene was in charge of the dogs, who were in charge of each unit. They all looked pretty scared, while all but Maria and the dogs tried to hide it. Those three were whimpering slightly. I could tell Trixie was tense, as she was gripping my back, but I paid it no mind. As long as she did her job, we'd be fine. I met the dragon in mid air and stared it down, it glaring back at me.

"Who did you call ugly?" I pointed my sword right at him, it's edge reflecting in it's ruby eyes.

"Get it straight, I called YOU an ugly FUCK!" At which point Gilda shot an arrow into it's left eye. It howled, and Trixie tossed six explosive vials down it's throat, then cast the invisibility spell. I took off to it's left, invisible and in the blind spot, while Gilda went right. It tried to follow her, turning it's head around.

'Base of the skull, meant for mobility, not protection. Here we go!'

I swung my sword at the spot behind it's ear. My sword hit it's scales, causing several of them to shatter, and sinking into the flesh slightly. It didn't go in. I didn't get my kill shot. Damnit. The dragon whipped around, dislodging my sword from it's neck and proceeded to spout flames at me, only an edge of which actually reached me. Of course, I blocked, Trixie sending a smoke bomb to it's other eye. It's face became covered in it, but it only worked for a moment. As soon as it moved it's head, it's vision became clear again. Of course, as a being used to living with fire and brimstone, it's eyes wouldn't be harmed by a bit of smoke. Trixie seemed to realize this as well and re-cloaked us, trying to give me time to come up with another plan.

'Scales all face the same way. If I can't smash through them, I'll rip them off!'

I flew at the dragon again, who was spouting flames to try and hit Gilda, who was flying just out of range. He was closing, but we were leading him back to where the other troops were. I needed to open up spots in his armor. He was behind Gilda, and she got him flying in a straight line. I flew directly behind him above. I readied my sword and held it in front of me, then went into a dive. Gilda had his attention. Just as he opened his mouth to spurt flames, my sword contacted and slid under his neck scales, prying a number of them up. I ran down his neck, towards his head, keeping my sword in position and using my wings for extra thrust as I effectively cleaned a very large patch of his neck of it's armor in a kind of reverse domino effect.

Having that many scales ripped out was painful enough for him to forget the distraction and focus on me. I however, was far too concerned with the red fluid dripping from his wound. I grabbed hold of the dragon's neck and dove my beak into it, ripping out a chunk of dragon meat, fresh and bloody, and swallowed it. Oh that felt fucking fantastic! My ever so slight shakes, nerves, excitement, everything. It all just went away. I was thinking more clearly than I had in months. The dragon turned to me and looked at me enraged.

"Know your place griffin! You will pay for what you have done to me." Smoke coming from it's nostrils as it snorted at me.

I cracked my neck again and lifted my sword high.

"Newsflash pal, I'm gonna kill ya, and when I'm done, I'm gonna fucking eat you." The dragon began to laugh and lifted it's claw, intending to slice me. I looked at my sword, the dragon's reflection on it, before something strange began to happen. It began to shimmer, constantly, which began to build until it was positively glowing.

'I was right. When I felt better before. Medico, Sana, medic or, sauna, those are Latin for heal! I have that dragon's blood in me, so it's considered a part of me, and accepts my magic, while rejecting everyone else's! Now that I'm thinking clearly, it all makes sense! Now, the problem is that despite my sword being that sharpest thing to exist, as well as one of the hardest, I still can't slice through a dragons scale, at most, I crush them. If I could enhance my edge somehow..... the Latin word Lacero: lacerate, cut, mangle, shred, rend, claw, break, tear, shatter, wreck. That could work.'

I began to giggle. This was going to work. I can't believe it. I was thinking that my drinking dragon's blood had been a curse, but it had connected me with my sword, letting me use magic through it. When I was running on empty, it barely did anything, but now that I just gorged myself, it's gone over the top! If this works, I may just have to find Pinkie Pie and let her throw me a party.

"LACERO!" The glow faded from my sword, as I brought it up to meet the dragon's claw, the air itself screamed as it passed around it. I met it's claw, and sliced right through it, about half way up it's forearm. It was a big dragon, about half the size of 'Blacky', but still impressive. I ended my uppercut and brought my sword out of it's arm, causing it to shriek in pain and surprise at what I had just pulled off. I brought it to the left, then swung right in a wide arc, severing it at the point I had sliced through before. It's blood began to rush out of the stump. The thing is, this magic can only be used to enhance what is already there. I just enhanced the sharpness of something able to cut diamond. FUCK YEAH!

"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

I flew straight at the dragon, swinging my blade into it's neck, only to have it shatter the scales again.

"Damn! It wore off!" The dragon spotted us. If it was mad before, it was positively FUMING now.

"Trixie, I would very much like to be invisible right now. Trix, yo Trix? Ahh damn it all." Trixie was no Fluttershy. Staring down a full grown dragon with rage greater than the volcano behind it, she had frozen in fear. Thanks Trix, perfect time to become useless. The dragon took a great breath, then cast it's burning air over us. I held my blade in front to catch the flame, but this of course, left my fucking hands open to it. I concentrated on my sword as I hid behind it, the glow building up again. It took longer this time, but it eventually reached that state.

"Protego!" As the flames dissipated, my hands weren't burned. I had shielded them. Of course, I was sweating now. While under the effects of the dragon blood, I had vastly increased magic, but that didn't mean I didn't get worn out. I started getting a little hazy, but Trix had snapped out of it and clocked me on the head to help me do the same.

"Nice of you to wake up! Hide us NOW!"

Trixie cast the invisibility spell, causing us to blink out of existence again. Thankfully, the spell works by bending the air around us, so it was able to hide the sword as well. The dragon had stopped trying to look for me and just started spewing fire everywhere in an attempt to catch us. I skillfully avoided the fire spouts and flanked around.

We were right next to the hidden troops in the forest, Gilda had shot a couple arrows at the dragon, but she couldn't hit it's eyes. They were just bouncing off and were unnoticed. It was after me. It was still blowing fire all over the place, not bothering to look, just trying to get a lucky shot. I couldn't charge my sword without giving myself away, as the glow would let it spot us. Time for what the troops are there for.

"Go for the wings!" I yelled. At which point, I heard some murmurs from the forest below, and a barrage of projectiles flew out of the trees, ripping holes in the drake's soft, unarmored, wing tissues. It roared in pain as another barrage came forward, putting more holes in it. I managed to get behind it and began charging my sword again. It took almost a minute this time around.

'Dragon blood wears off quick. Have to make the most of it.'

The dragon landed, no longer able to fly, and off balance due to missing and arm. Having spotted the soldiers with it's one good eye, began trying to torch them. 3 of each tribe got turned to ash when they couldn't get out of the way fast enough, while the others darted around to the side, and Maria carrying Nadene onto it's back. They began hacking away at it's wings, trying to ground it permanently. The young griffin dug it's claws into the spot I had opened on it's neck and closed her eyes, desperately trying to hold on despite her fear. After all, behind the head was the safest location. The dragon was shaking around violently, trying to throw it's rider off.

'Why haven't those explosive vials gone off yet?'

A low rumble, the dragon suddenly put it's neck straight and began to vomit. It's stomach acid ate threw the glass, and the explosives went off all at once, sending it's bile up it's throat. As if on reflex, it straightened it's neck and held still while it emptied the contents of it's gut, giving Nadene all the chance she needed. Have you ever seen a cat leap from the floor to the top of the fridge? Because she basically did the same, except on human scale. Dat cat can JUMP. Now I know how she reached to top of the treehouse. Yeah, she climbed up, but she probably could have jumped to the top, if she wasn't trying to be sneaky. Bringing her two daggers forward, she dove down, ramming their points into the small cut I had made earlier. The dragon suddenly stopped moving, then slumped over, dead, as the envenomed blades sank into it's brain stem. Cheers erupted from the woods, celebrations. I flew down to the dragon and began to store as much of it's blood as I could in vials, while also drinking some. I stopped drinking and horror filled my eyes.

"Come on, come on! No! Why! Why is it doing this! Nooooooohohoohohooooo." Nadene climbed off and looked at me, crying.

"What's the matter?"

"Look!" I showed her a vial of the dragons blood, which was no longer red, but had turned black.

"So, that's what normally happens."

"No, don't you get it?"

"Get what Grif?" Trixie asked.

"While the dragon was still alive, all I wanted to do was drink it. I had some, but I wanted more! Now that it's dead, it's blood changed, and it's not satisfying my craving!"

"I still don't understand."

"When the dragon dies, it's blood changes. I didn't notice it last time because I still had the taste of living dragon's blood in my mouth, but after it dies, it doesn't taste sour anymore!"

"You're not making any sense."

"For it to work the way it's supposed to, I have to drink blood from a LIVING dragon. Dragons are magic, and while they're alive, so is their blood! Once it dies it's useless to me! We can't just kill a dragon and store it's blood for me to use later! Damnit!" I pounded my fist on the ground. Nadene suddenly figured it out.

"So, if you drink it while the dragon is still alive, it has the effect, but once it dies, the magic in it's veins fades as well and it becomes useless to you. That means, unless you can wean yourself off it, you'll have to keep killing dragons." The realization donned on my entire crew. This was NOT a good thing.

"Well, then, we just stay here and kill them till you kick your addiction right?" Gilda asked.

"That's the problem. Didn't you see what happened?"

"I was kinda busy trying not to get roasted Grif." Gilda deadpanned.

"When I drank the dragon blood, my mind became clear. I focused on my sword, and it got a HUGE magic charge because I gorged myself on dragon magic. I used to Latin word for cut to enhance my edge, and protect against the flames when it tried to burn me. When I tried to cut through it's neck, I only smashed the scales, but when I used to word and went for the arm, I sliced all the way up, straight through the bone! I drank a whole liter of it, and I was able to enhance my sword that much. I wouldn't go drinking that much again though, I don't think it would be good for my health." I had just killed a dragon, but I was almost depressed.

"Well, why don't we just get a dragon?" Trixie asked.

"Huh?"

"I mean, Twilight has one as an assistant. And sure, you wouldn't be able to do that godly slash all the time, but we'd at least be able to stop you from dying from withdraw symptoms."

"Trixie, you just made up for messing up earlier. Guess what everyone! We've got to steal ourselves a baby dragon!"

"Erm, Grif, isn't there something else we've got to do first?" Gilda asked, pointing at the body of the dead dragon.

"Right. Listen up! Romak! Lemko! Grab hold of this sucker and haul it back to the ruined village! We're getting you all some new weapons and armor!"

"Are you feeling okay?" Gilda asked tentatively.

"Yeah. I'm not all shaky anymore, no headache, and I just learned that my sword acts as a powerful one shot spell when I drink dragon blood. All we need to do is get a little dragon or three so I have blood to drink, and we'll be all set. It should be at least another month before I start acting up again. So, we have one month to get a dragon. No problem."

"It kind of is. After all, dragons are protective of their eggs, but not the hatchlings. We just killed a lone one. We'd have to raid a nest to find an egg or youngling, and nests mean a LOT of dragons."

"We'll figure something out. We always do. I just need time to think on it. In the mean time, I have two tribe welcoming ceremonies to attend."

Nightfall came, with the Romak and Lemko tribe at the old Romak camp, cutting the dragon into pieces and making weapons and armor from the bone and scale. It was slow going, but both tribes were quite skilled in making things from skin and bone, and having about 30 of them do it meant it went pretty fast. I spent the time they took preparing for the ceremony charging my blade. It took me two hours to bring it to it's full state, while earlier, I had done it in about five seconds. The beneficial effects of dragon blood wear off far too quick, and unless we catch and release, we can't store it. Still, the power I had gained from it was, to say the least, awe inspiring. Going from only being able to smash the scales, to slicing off the arm at the elbow. It's not something I could use all the time. Last resort, or, fighting a whole group. Yeah, I could probably kill a dragon in an instant if I got a clean shot at the neck, since I now have something that can cut through it.

"It is time to begin. As you are to become a part of both tribes, we shall perform both rituals. Since the Lemko have a camp, we shall use theirs."

We returned to the Lemko, who were quite surprised that they and the Romak were walking side by side. Elder grumbled and shook her staff, causing the camp to fall quiet.

"We are here today to welcome an outsider into our fold. State your name."

"I am Griffin."

"Griffin, from which land do you hail?"

This was a particularly difficult question. Country? Planet? Relative dimension? Screw it.

"I hail from the north sky." That'll work.

"Griffin of the North Sky, we have seen your valor. You have tested your might against the most foul of beasts, the dragon, and claimed victory. This is proof of your strength and skill. You have brought understanding between us and the Romak, which is no small feat. Therefor, we proudly welcome you to the Lemko tribe. I am the Elder, but you may call me Selma. We have been without chief for far too long, and are proud to name you as such." She took a kind of yellow paint on her paw, and pressed it onto my right wing, leaving the mark on my feathers. Then, the puma-esque leader of the Romak approached.

"In the presence of the entire Romak tribe." I looked around, there were only ten of them. Wait, that's all that's left?

"We can all attest to your cunning and skill, in slaying a beast that has been plaguing our lands. Bringing an understanding between ourselves and the Lemko, you have brought us the promise of a better future. And so, I not only name you a member of our tribe, but as the greatest warrior we have ever known, I name you chief. May you lead us to prosperity in ways I could not." He put blue paint on his paw and pressed it on my left wing. Great, now I'm the chief of two cat tribes. Brilliant. Well, now it's time for my big reveal.

"As leader of the Romak and Lemko, I proclaim you all to be brothers. While you may differ in your ways, you are united by a common cause. The new tribe, the White Wind, my tribe, we shall leave these scorched lands for another. There are others who live as you did, in the land of the griffins. We will return to the north, free them, and make them part of our tribe as well. First, we must capture a dragon. Their blood flows in my veins and gives me strength, but at the cost of needing it once a month. While the tribe prepares for travel, we will claim one of the beasts as our own. We will bring you to a land ripe with food so you can prepare for the long journey ahead while we perform this deed." The tribesmen cheered, then began dancing around the fire as is customary in welcoming a new member.

All warriors. No children, as they were too weak to survive the calamity that befell both. 20 footmen,(clubs, axes and such) 6 spear cats, and Selma, the shaman. That is what remains of the Lemko. 9 rangers, plus the former chief of the Romak, for a total of 37 cats. All armed with weapons and armor made of dragon scale, hide, nerve, tooth, and bone. Then Maria and Nadene counting as one, Gilda, Etch and Growl, and myself and Trixie. The White Wind Tribe, also known as the Griffin Pirates, total at 43 in number. That is my tribe. In the morning, we lead them through the jungle to where our camp stood. They seemed to think of Nadene quite highly, considering she was the one who actually gave the final blow, however all of us, even Etch and Growl, had been elevated to near god status by the tribes. We took on a dragon, and we won with minimal casualties.

The tribe settled in, taking up residence around The Perch, (What? We had to name it something, and what better name for a place where birds live, even if they are mutant half lion birds.) and spreading out to collect food, Nadene and the dogs helping them get settled. Maria was a little nervous, after all, the Lemko had tried to eat her, but she was feeling a little better. Nadene set about sparring with her mount, teaching her to defend herself, while Gilda, Trixie, and I flew off towards the giant volcano, intent on snagging a dragon youngling. After all, I don't know if an egg would do any good, without anyone to hatch it.

"Hey Grif, are we using the tribes, or are they using us? I mean, they were pretty quick to name you as the leader... considering how set they are in their ways." Gilda asked.

"Well, when you see someone casually kill a beast that could wipe your entire tribe out, rescuing them in the process, telling, they're pretty quick to give respect. Also, the fact that I brought them together and fed them when they were starving is big points. They also know I have what it takes to lead them. They're looking for a better life, just like we are, and like we're trying to bring to the griffins and diamond dogs. So what if they're just a gear in the machine? If they get what they want, do they care?"

"I guess your right, but we're taking them away from their home."

"A home they can't survive in."

"What makes you think it'll be any better up north?"

"Because that's where everything will come together. If it works, then it will be, if we fail, then we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Yeah, I suppose that's one way to look at it. I still can't get over the feeling that we're using them, and being used." Of course, Gilda, who can't stand slavery, is drawing a couple parallels between my leading the tribes, and being forced to do something against their will. The difference is, they want this, I'm just helping them get it.

"Two sides, both wanting the same thing, and both using each other to get it, then sharing it at the end. There's nothing wrong with that, that's the way most partnerships work."

"What about you and me?"

"Well, you can keep my head on straight, and I can kill things. I have load of knowledge, and you're hot, so, I guess it's the same."

"And what about when we succeed? When one of us no longer has a use for the other?"

"Only way one won't be useful to the other is if we're dead. If we make it, if this hairbrained scheme of ours works, well then, there's going to be a country that needs leadership, who better than the ones who founded it? Face it toots, you're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you."

"What about me?" Trixie asked.

"Rulers need advisors, councillors, you know, people, or ponies, they can rely on. Don't worry, I'm not just going to throw any of you away at the end."

"Well, there it is. Get in, kidnap a dragon, then get out."

"Isn't that, you know, slavery as well? I mean, taking someone just so you can feed off them slowly?" Gilda asked.

"I suppose it might be, or, we can take them away from abusive parents and raise them. Sure, we'd be using them, but then again...."

"Having a loving family instead of being alone once you hatch, yeah, I scratch your back, you scratch mine, I get it." She sighed. After all, she was taken from her family. She's just trying to make sure I'm not turning into the very thing we're fighting against.

'And, this is how humans convince others to do things they know aren't right. Morals can be rationalized away.'

It was night, although the glow of the lava coming from within the red mountain made things quite visible. The big volcano was too high up to be proper for nesting, but a ground level lava pool made the perfect location. The dragons were already asleep. It was time to begin operation 'Grab a Drake'

Dear Princess Celestia,

Rather than my usual letter, I'm writing to tell you that I've figured out how to use magic. Considering that I'm not a unicorn, this is a rather large achievement. As for the details of my discovery.... NOT TELLING! What's wrong? Jealous?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Parenthood (30)

Parenthood

We approached the dragon nest quietly, desperate to not wake the sleeping beasts. My sword had a full charge and gave off a very soft white glow. This didn't matter, as the light from the lava pools was far more than my blade could give off. Sneaking past the slumbering giants, careful not to touch them or make any noise, we flew around, looking for a possible target.

'Too big, still an egg, just a baby, I don't know how to take care of a baby dragon, I need one smart enough to talk, so they can tell me what they need. Too close to the others, not quite asleep, can't wake the whole nest can I? A group of three. No, no, and no, damn, come on. Where? This is no good.'

I motioned to Gilda that there weren't any viable targets, so we began to move towards another area when we saw it. A dead dragon. Dragons are normally solitary creatures, so when the come together in such quantity in an area like this, they fight, and when they fight, they sometimes die. It's the reason dragons didn't breed out of control and take over the world, because they keep their own population in check. In fact, the entire animal kingdom does that, humans are the only ones who spread so far that the planet they live on can't feed them all. Nuzzled up next to the dead body of a green dragon was a blue one, looking to be a little taller than Spike, sleeping soundly. I flew upwards with Gilda so we could discuss it.

"That little one down there. It's mom, or dad, is dead. Can't tell the gender, although given that it's more slender than Spike, my guess is female. It's about the same height, maybe a bit bigger. You wouldn't be adverse to adoption would you?"

'That's right, play her little heartstrings like an instrument. She lost her family, this dragon lost hers, emotional connection, it's all there. Gilda looked to be tearing up. I noticed it, and she suddenly put on a strong face. Yeah, you think you can hide your feelings from me? I know what you're thinking. Mwahahaa, I am so evil.'

"I'm just glad we're not kidnapping." She huffed. Good enough for me.

"I think she's quite charming, poor thing." Trixie knows what it's like to be alone as well. So it's settled, we take the blue dragon.

"Then it's settled. We'll take the blue one, and Gilda get's to raise it."

"I WHAT?" I slapped my claw over her mouth.

"Yes, you get to raise it. Honestly, I think it would be good for you. You're the only one of us who doesn't have a partner. Trix and I have each other, Nadene has Maria, Etch and Growl have each other, you need someone. Maybe if you have some maternal instinct, you'll stop being so grumpy all the time." I teased. Gilda scowled, then had a smile come over her face. I could tell she liked the idea. then, she stopped smiling and looked at me again.

"Alright, but if that's the way we're doing this, let's get one thing straight. She's NOT a blood farm. She's a living thing with rights and freedoms, and she's a part of this family. If she doesn't want to give you her blood, then that's her right, you got that?" She returned.

"Loud and clear. I know I wouldn't want to be raised just to be eaten." I avoided saying 'like cattle', since I remembered Trix was there, and I hadn't told her about how humans treated equines. I wasn't planning to.

"Well, go and get your new daughter. Trix and I have other business to attend to." With that, Gilda flew down and very slowly and carefully scooped the young dragon up in her arms, holding her close as she flew back to camp. The blue scaled child nuzzled into her neck feathers, appreciating the warmth that it could no longer get from it's dead parent.

"Mommy?" She, (able to tell it's a she because of the voice) asked in her sleep.

"Shh shh, I'm here. It's alright. Go back to bed.

Meanwhile, Trixie and I had flown down to a dragon laying on the outer edge of the lava pool. It was a fairly big one, but it would have to be for this to work.

"Okay, if it moves, we go invisible and find another one."

"Got it Cap'n."

Very, VERY slowly, I lifted one of the scales on it's back, drew my sword, and made a small cut.

'PleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaspleasePLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE stay asleep.'

Blood started to flow from the incision, but it wasn't fast enough, I put my sword in a little deeper. Suddenly, it moved. Trixie and I held perfectly still. It's motion caused the scale to rip off, making the dragon yelp in pain. Trixie immediately, instead of making us invisible, made us look like a sharp rock. The dragon turned and looked at where we stood with anger, then annoyance.

"Damn rock took my scale off. Now it's bleedin. Mrrrh, get it in the morning." His voice didn't boom, but was loud enough to hear clearly. I assume that's the dragon version of a whisper. He walked around in a circle a couple times, like a dog would, then laid back down, making sure to lay down farther from the 'sharp rock'. Both Trixie and I let out a breath we didn't realize we were holding. Sure, I could kill dragons, but here, we were surrounded by them. There's no way I'd be able to take on all of them. She dropped the illusion and we approached the spot we had opened up. To a dragon that size, it was nothing, but to us, it was bleeding profusely, and to me, it was a buffet. Trixie carefully floated out ten empty vials, collected the fresh, red blood in it, then stoppered them. My theory was correct. The dragon was alive, so it kept. I took a taste, making sure it was sour as it should be. I was about to go back for a second taste, when Trix patted me a bit, and when I turned to look at her, she shook her head no. I gave her pleading eyes, and with a sigh, she filled another ten, letting me get another taste before we flew off into the night sky.

"There. We've got enough to last at least a year, that is if I don't get in trouble and have to chug it. I kind of want to get off of it, but at the same time, that kind of power would be a damn shame to waste given what we're going to do. I'm going to give these to Nadene. She'll be in charge of giving them to me. Knowing me, I'd just drink them all at once. You're going to keep one as well, just in case of emergency, like say a dragon shows up and I need to be able to cut it down."

It was dawn before we got back to the Perch, Gilda was sleeping with the pony sized dragon curled up next to her, on a bed of my feathers. Everyone, including the cats down below, were sleeping soundly, save for Selma and the former Romak leader, who's name I learned was Tiras, who were keeping watch. I guess they had taken the time to talk to each other as well. I flew down to meet them.

"Well you two, we're moving out tomorrow, are we prepared?"

"We have stripped the trees in the area of their fruit. No tribe holds claim to these lands, and the animals can simply move to another location. The banapple and cinderfruit grow well here. I see now how you could feed us all so easily, given the abundance at this location." Selma mused.

"About this, are you sure you want to do this? It will be dangerous, and in all likelyhood, many will die in the battles to come."

"We are proud warriors. We are not afraid. Whatever comes shall come, and we will fight through it as we always have done. Should we meet our end by your lead, then we will still be better off than having starved. Surely we could make a new village here, but we do not forget our debts easily, and it would be wrong of us to simply send you on your way. We will fight with you for a better future. Then, one day, we, or our sons and daughters, or their children, or their children, will return to this place once again. Until then, we follow you, Griffin of the North Sky. You have already told us of your brothers and sisters who are bound. To us, they are already family, and we will fight for our families."

"Good. Tell them to gather the supplies and wealth. At noon, we set out for Port Redstone."

I flew back up to the top, just in time to see the blue dragon awake. Her eyes were red from crying, and she looked confused before she began to sob. Gilda suddenly snapped awake at the motions.

"M.. mommy? Where... where's mommy?" Oh geez, my heart... hnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg.

"Shh shh shh, it's okay. Come here." Gilda wrapped her arms around the little dragon, trying to comfort her.

"What happened to mommy? She fought that big meany and then she went to sleep, where is she?" Tears started flowing again.

"I, I'm sorry, but, she..... didn't make it." It was hard telling her. I take it that her family was one of the rare ones in dragon society where the parents actually care for their children. I didn't know much regarding it, but it had been mentioned as a side not in a book that dragons guard their eggs until they hatch, then leave them to grow up on their own. Of course, the one time the mother tries to protect her young, she dies off. Freaking typical. And a big ol fuck you to you too nature.

Her eyes shot open at the realization of what I was telling her, and she started shaking.

"No, no, she's not, you're lying, you're LYING! Where is she!" She started to struggle, Gilda holding her in place.

"I wish I was. Listen and listen very closely, because I won't say it a second time. Your mother is dead. She gave her life to protect you because she loved you. What do you think she would want you to do?" I really hope that this dragon wasn't too young for philosophy.

"Um..... I.... um......."

"Grif, cut it out, you're scaring her." Trixie knocked me upside the head.

"Oh, right, sorry." I started rubbing the spot where her hoof made contact, giving an awkward smile.

"The point is, she'd want you to move on and be happy alright?"

"But, I'm all alone and....."

"And that's where you're wrong kiddo." Gilda flew the little dragon down to the forest floor and passed her a banapple, the red striped fruit that was apparently a cross between a banana and apple, (Genetics, how do they work? Fucking miracles.) and passed it to her so she could eat while we all introduced ourselves.

"I'm Griffin, I'm a griffin. This is Gilda, she'll be taking care of you from now on. Well, we all will be, but her mostly. This is Nadene and Maria...." At which point the slender cat scooped the dragon up in her arms and gave her a hug.

"She's adorable!" She said while squeeing, rubbing her head all over her like cats do to things they like. The dragon looked like she was going to suffocate, so I gently removed her from Nadene's grasp.

"Um, hello..." Maria responded.

"The unicorn on my back is Trixie."

"A pleasure to meet you." She said in a haughty tone.

"This is Etch, and this is Growl, they're diamond dogs and eat gems, just like you." Etch gave a woof of approval while Growl.... growled unimpressed. He was pretty vacant from everyone, so this response was usual.

"And we make up the Griffin Pirates. Then we have Selma and Tiras here, who are the leaders of the White Wind tribe. I united the Romak and Lemko tribes and helped them solve a food shortage, and I became their chief."

At which point, the entire tribe of 37 cats gave a collective 'Hello' which startled the little dragon to say the least. After all, we were all really tall in comparison, with the exception of Trixie. The unicorn was walking on her own at this point, but she usually rode on my back, which gave her the impression of height.

"And, what is your name?"

"Um.... hi, um.... I'm Shimmer?" She looked around nervously, expecting another hug attack from Nadene, who was trying very hard not to glomp the little dragon.

"Shimmer, that's a nice name. I can see why, since you have beautiful, shimmering blue scales." I complimented. Yep, best way to gain a kid's trust is compliment them. That and food, which, she had by the way, not touched.

"Come on! You must be hungry. We don't have any spare gems right now, but we'll get some later for you. In the mean time, eat up! It's really good." At which point, I stuffed one of the fruits into my mouth. She did so as well, very carefully at first, before shoving the whole thing in and swallowing hard.

"It, it's good!" She said with a smile, despite the tears still threatening her eyes. Poor kid. She just lost her mother. It's gonna take time. Also, there's a couple somethings I need to get out of the way first.

"Alright, everyone else knows about this, but we haven't told you yet. I'm not going to hide anything from you. First off, Trix, give Nadene the vials." The unicorn levitated the glassware filled with the red liquid over to the cat. The dragon's eyes went wide again.

"Is that......"

"Blood? Yes, it is. You see, while not entirely accurate, you can think of me kind of like a vampire. Maybe once a month, I need to drink dragon blood from a still living dragon, or else I'll get really sick."

Poor thing began to shake. I don't blame her. 'Hi, your mom is dead, we kidnapped you and are going to take care of you. By the way, I may or may not try to eat you sometime in the future. I'm sure we'll be best of friends.' Isn't exactly the best way to start off.

"Don't worry about me Shimmer, I'm not gonna bite you. You see, I found another dragon, a really big one who got hurt, and I just took a bit is all. He doesn't even miss it. Now, I've got enough for about a year. You don't have to be afraid of me, although, considering what you've been through, I wouldn't blame you at all."

"Why did you tell me? Wouldn't it have been better to just keep it a secret?" She asked. Smart kid.

"It's because I want you to trust me, and the sooner you know everything, the better. Now, do you like magic tricks?" She nodded, somewhat happy at eating a banapple.

"Well then, I've got a really good one to show you."

"Everyone! Listen up! I've got something I need to show you all." My tribe looked to me, as did Maria. Everyone else knew what I was about to do.

"You may or may not know this, but I am not of this world. I am in fact an alien, who arrived here a few months ago, and took the form of a griffin. I am about to show you all what I really look like, so that there will be no confusion at a later time should I transform." I pulled the necklace over my head and held it in my claw.

"Forma Versus!" Vision flicker, I'm on all fours in my human form. I get up, and look at the shocked crowd.

"Now you all know what I look like. I assure you, it's still me, but I have taken my true form. Reverti." I changed back and then put on my gear. I wasn't sure how armor would handle my change in form. I didn't want to strangle myself getting caught in chainmail not meant for my bipedal form.

"There, now that that's out of the way, pack your things, we're headed to Port Redstone!" The cats gathered up what they had, and we all began to head west, on the ground as we wanted to rest our wings.

Gilda had, surprisingly, allowed the little dragon to sit on her back. She wasn't heavy at all, and fit perfectly in the griffin's backpack. It was warm, and it was safe. If she needed to fly, she could just close it up and Shimmer wouldn't be able to fall out.

"That was a cool trick Mr. Griffin." She said, popping out of the backpack, which was adorable.

"Just call me Grif. Thanks. I figured it out a while ago. This amulet is magic. Let's me expose hidden things by forcing them to take their true form, but it protects the wearer from the effect. I just take it off, say the words, and boop! Magic."

"What's that sword Grif?" Ah, of course, kid is curious. All of them are.

"Well, you know that big mean dragon that.... attacked your mother?" I don't need to remind the kid of her troubles, she had forgotten about them momentarily.

"Yeah?"

"Well, there was another mean dragon waaaaaaay up north, before the migration."

"Yeah, I know, the badlands. I rode here on mommy's back." She deadpanned. Riiiiight, I forgot, she's not some hatchling, she's older than Spike, but about the same maturity.

"Right, well, there was a great big mean black one that tried to eat me. And, well, it did. As it turns out, I have really sharp edges, so he died, and I didn't. That's how I originally got dragon blood, and why I have to keep drinking it. As for the scale, I decided there was no point in letting it go to waste, so I made a sword out of it."

"But, why is it glowing?"

"Well, that would be because another mean dragon attacked us, only a little while before we found you. I found out that I can make the sword hold magic, but only when I drink dragon blood. I got some in my mouth when I was fighting it, and discovered I could use magic like that. So, I just say magic words, and stuff happens. Here's a gem lamp. It works the same way. Trixie filled it, so now you just say magic words to make it work. Say, 'Lumen'."

"Lumen?" She said it experimentally, as if expecting it to blow up.

"Hey! It got bright!"

"That's because Lumen means light. You said the magic words for light, which made the magic turn to light."

"Oh, I get i. *hic*" She spouted a small bit of yellow flame, which caught the tips of Gilda's head feathers on fire. I grabbed another lamp.

"Oh no! I'm sorry! Please please please don't hate me!"

"Aqua."

And a splash made my female companion both very wet and very annoyed. Her expression seemed to soften slightly when she heard Shimmer giggle.

"And...."

"Don't you even think about it Grif, I'm not having you turn into a puff ball again, I'll just drip dry thank you." Her voice, filled with malice.

"Oh, alright, as long as you don't do the thing with the spider again."

"What thing?" Shimmer asked.

"Oh, Grif is absolutely petrified of spiders." Gilda laughed.

"Well, then he might want to watch where he's walking."

As I turned away from the dragon I was talking to, I saw, right in front of me, on a web, right next to my head, a spider. Not just any spider, a Hunstman spider. You know, the really friggin big ones?. It's underside was facing me, so it didn't see me. I backpedaled right into Selma, nearly knocking the old cat over.

"Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it."

Gilda laughed, Trixie was cowering as much as I was, having a very poor impression of arachnids after our last encounter. Shimmer just rolled her eyes, took a breath, then burned the demonic bastard.

"Heh, hehe, I have a new best friend." I muttered maniacally as I let Gilda go first, staying extremely close to the newest member of our family, perched upon her back.

Dear Princess Luna

If someone is a fan of yours, are they technically a lunatic?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Have some art by Carnelian

And here's Nadene

Greed (31)

Greed

"And here we are. Port Redstone. I'm glad to be out of the jungle. As much as I dislike the heat and ash in the air, it beats spiders any day."

"Geez, for the captain, you sure are a wimp Grif." Shimmer taunted in the usual kid's tone.

"You try having one thirty times your size wrap you in webs to eat you."

"You're just joking about that.... right?" She gulped.

"Nope. Grif here almost got made into a snack, and Trix with him. He was afraid of spiders before, but now..... I don't think either of them will ever be the same." Gilda explained. Shimmer started shaking again.

"Well, let's look around."

Nadene and Maria stuck with the tribe, as they were kind of like idols to them, more so due to the fact that she was the same species, while Gilda, Trixie, Etch, Growl, and I went to go look around elsewhere, searching for anything of interest. The cats were hauling all of our goods. They would look around for a ship of some kind, big enough to carry all of us across the ocean, while we would look around the.... remnant.... of the town for anything of interest. Finding a building that was some kind of bar, I motioned for us to go in.

"You're not gonna...." Gilda began.

"Get drunk? Hell no, I learned my lesson the last time. Taverns are the best places to pick up info. We're going in to find out anything we can. We're not looking for something specific, just trying to catch up on recent events."

Walking in, we saw a number of rough looking characters. Some griffins and D-dogs, various ponies, some cats, crazy goat-men-things, no, not satyrs, the other way around, with the goat half on the top, some kind of lizard thing, like a kobold maybe, and a plethora of other things. I went to a poster board, where I found a newspaper article about 'The Hero of Wethoof', who slew over thirty adolescent hydras with his bare claws after the explosion failed to get all of them. It showed the alpha dog with his spear, one of his claws on fire, Daring by his side, and the biggest, stupidest grin plastered on his face.

"Atta boy Echo, go get em."

Continuing to look around, I spotted wanted posters. A fairly large number of them matching some of the characters in this very bar, three of which stood out. Ours.

"Wanted, Griffin Pirates, total bounty, 3000 bits. Gilda the griffin-Alive, 800 bits, Trixie the unicorn-Alive, 500 bits, Griffin the griffin-Dead or Alive, 1700 bits. Last known location, Wethoof. Growing in number, extremely dangerous, non lethal assault resulting in permanent injury, destruction of official property, insult of royalty? Bahahaha, trolling successful! Endangerment of civilian population? What the hell, I didn't do that last one! That bastard Frosty made shit up! Oh well. The crown has deemed them a growing danger to the safety and well being of Equestrians everywhere, the leader is the most important as if captured, the group would fall into disarray, oh Celly, you flatter me! But why would your son come to get my crew? I know, it's a joke. Last seen heading west from Wethoof, expected destination, Tailton Springs. Yeah, too bad it's not there anymore. Am I forgetting something? I feel like I am."

"Uh, Grif, you just read your wanted poster out loud to a bunch of criminals and bounty hunters." Gilda poked me in the side.

"Oh, yes, that, no, I'm sure I'm forgetting something else...... something important."

"I think she means we better make ourselves scarce." Trixie deadpanned. I turned around to see a very large number of tough individuals of varying species all standing up, weapons drawn. They were smiling through their scars and knocked out teeth.

"Oh please, you'd all be dead before you touched me. Sit down and go back to your drinks." A few did, sensing that I was way out of their league, but a very large number remained. The lizard-kobold thingy approached.

"I am Jacky the Ripper, my bounty is six thousand bits, Wanted dead for murder on thirty counts. What makes you think someone with a mere 1700 would be a match?" He practically spat. Our eyes met, neither one backing down. Sure he was taller than me, and he was pretty muscular, but he was also piss drunk. Unless he knows drunken boxing, he's just gonna get himself killed.

"Because I'm not an idiot like you are. I lay low after my crimes so I don't get a bounty, moron." Various 'ooooooohs' and even a 'oh no he didn't' came from the crowd.

"Then how'd you get one? Maybe you're not as good as you say ya are....."

"Hey, does any one else hear that ringing sound?" During the moment of distraction, only lasting a second, I had already clubbed him in the side of the head with Hades.

"Nope, it's just him." The crowd laughed. They thought it was funny! The snake man hissed as he held his head.

"You are going to pay for that...." I snapped my claws, Trixie brought out the contained explosion ball and slammed it into his stomach a couple times, making him go to his knees. He looked up to find my glowing sword in his mouth.

"Wanted dead, so, they took the 'or alive' off your poster? Well then, I guess I'll just be doing Celly and Lulu a favour won't I?" Before he could ponder what I meant by that, I had given him a haircut. He was half a head shorter now. His body slumped to the ground, spurting a little bit of blood every now and then.

"No skill at all. Doesn't he know to investigate a target first? His bounty was higher, but all his murders were of the innocent and defenseless, and you were all shitting yourselves because of a number. Who here's a bounty hunter? I'll sell you his head for a thousand bits, that's all it's worth to me, since I can't turn it in." At this point, a VERY large number of the other characters took their seats again, leaving a minotaur in a kilt standing.

"You, you're a bounty hunter?"

"In me spare time. I use it to pay for the things I need fer smithin." He spoke with a Scottish accent. The kilt, duh.

"A smith eh? Well, none of my business. Actually, something more important than money, information. Do you know where I can find a ship? I'm looking for transport for 43 to the Dominion."

"Aye, jus follow me, and bring Mr. 6000 with ya."

Following the minotaur, he brought us to a kind of concrete bunker. It was built into the mountain and had only one entrance, steel door with a sliding concrete wall in the ground in front of it.

"Let me guess, when the mountain starts to rumble, you seal it up tight, the lava flows over, and when things calm down, the wall drops into the floor so you can dig yourself out?"

"Yoor pretty smart for a pirate Grif."

"Yeah, kind of have to be unless you want to end up like this guy." I said, holding up the top half of Jacky's head by the tendrils coming out of the back.

"Well, here it is. My love. I spent the better part of the past three decades building this monstrosity. Streamline shape, interlocking mechanism for protecting the deck against attack, it slides up inside the ship. Gem powered drive, like all the best ones, varcalite hull. It's not resistant to magic like arcanite is, but it's much more common, and almost as durable."

"Gem powered drive?"

"I take it yoo don't know about airships then?" We all shook our heads no.

"Well, most airships use steam, but a few of the REAL fancy ones, yoo know, the ones that have the hoity toity prissy pants ponies who don't like steam on their manes, are run by gems. Several types of rare gems, like fire rubies, sky sapphires, earth emeralds, thunder topaz, ocean aquamarines, have inherent power in them. Really small ones get put in stoves and the like, but with a lot of effort, you can grind up other, non magical gems and put em in a solution of three parts s.... well, I'd hate to go into it, but you can grow them and make them bigger. Of course, larger gems can hold a bigger charge. Well, by attaching conduits to take the magic emissions away from the gem and forcing it through machines, you can power things." The apparently genius minotaur explained.

"That sounds, really complicated. I mean, why not just use electricity? You know, generators?"

"What kinds nonsense are you talkin about? Harness lightning? Bah!" I had a private giggle, and learned something. So THAT is how machines work around here. They're like my amulet, except instead of magic words, they move it around through a hose with gemstone fragments in it.

They pick up the magic coming off the gems, carry it to it's destination, then give it off where it's needed, a lot like the way equilibrium and diffusion work in a body. High concentration moves to low concentration to try and balance it. So pretty much, the faster the pumps work, the more it can do, so long as the source gem has enough magic.

"So then, I take it you have a gem powered weapons system as well?" Time to pry.

"What do ya mean? Powering the cannons with gemstones? How would that work? You'd still need to load them manually...."

"Do you have a lens or something?" He passed me a magnifying glass. Time for a little trick I learned from burning ants. I passed the minotaur the head, as he had done his job, then took out a gem lamp. I pulled off a feather and placed it on the ground, then looked at it through the magnifying glass, and pointed the wand at it.

"Lumen."

The lamp lit up, pouring light through the lens, making a very small, weak, and inefficient laser. Should have seen the look on that man bull's face when my feather caught fire.

"Give ya any ideas?"

"Bloody hell, sweet Celestia on a sandwich in Tartarus."

'Wait, what?'

"That's brilliant!"

I took out several more, pointing one at Gilda.

"Don't even fu..." She remembered she had Shimmer asleep in her backpack. "Don't even think about it."

"Fine." I pointed it to an empty corner of the room.

"Ignis." A spout of flame, far greater as we were in a land drenched in fire, sprayed.

"And ventus." Wind.

"If you put lenses up, we can focus light through them to make lasers. Pull the lens out of the way, and you've got a flame thrower. Replace your cannons with gems, and have them automatically charge from the main gem array. Don't need ammo anymore. I learned this trick a while back. We can do anything, from light to wind and water, fire, shields, even invisibility."

I could literally see the gears in his head turning, and the world's largest smile affix itself to his face.

"Now, might I ask what the purpose of such a ship might be? Given it's build, I'd have to say it's a warship...." His smile disappeared.

"Money."

"Money?"

"Yep. I'm looking to make my fortune. I plan on selling this beast to the highest bidder."

"Well now, perhaps we could work out a deal then?"

"Interested?"

"Maybe..... how much were you thinking?"

"Oh, given the time it took to build, the materials, intricacies, craftsmanship....... 10 billion, give or take a few mil."

"Hmm, yeah, that's quite a lot. Well, considering we just gave you what you need for the enhanced weapon system, which is something WE discovered......."

"Alright, 8 billion, considering I can't build said weapon system until I get more gems, which I'll need to buy."

"You're still in the range of 'Princess Celestia and Luna only'."

"I spent twenty five years of my life slaving away on her, and she's definitely worth that much. Take it or leave it."

"Well then, how about a lease?"

"I'm interested."

"I say, we 'borrow' your ship. It still belongs to you, but we get to use it for a time, and we pay you for the time we use it for. After all, it still needs a test drive doesn't it? To put it through it's paces, work out the kinks? Pretty much, we'd be paying you to put it through the wringer for you."

"What's the catch?"

"Well, since we'd be paying for it, we'd be in command, and since you built it, we'd need you to stay on as the engineer. Make sure it doesn't break down, make modifications to it, make sure we don't steal it, we ARE pirates after all. You know how it works, you'd be the one flying the thing. Gilda, go get the cats and bring them here, with the loot."

"I see, so, how long would you be using it for?" He asked.

"Not sure. Depends on how well it works yeah? Better it is, less we'll need it for." He smiled.

"Since it's the best, not long at all."

A little while later, Gilda returned with the rest of the tribe, and we slumped a massive bag full of gold, all our loot, in front of the smith and shipwright. His eyes seemed to gleam as he went over each piece, determining value. A shrewd negotiator. He'll obviously accept this amount, but he's gonna try to push it higher.

"Hmm, this is good, but I'f I'm gonna lend her to ya, I'll need maybe..... thirty thousand bits more."

"Ten thousand.

"Twenty."

"Fifteen."

"Done."

"By the way, it seems we've been rude. You know who I am, who are you?"

"Ya can call me Steelhorn. So, where do you plan on getting the extra fifteen thousand bits?"

"I've got a pretty good idea."

The door of the nameless bar fell off it's hinges as it was kicked down, a very angry griffin being ridden by a unicorn seething malicious intent, faces seemingly obscured by shadows despite it being quite bright out, walked over to the bounty board and pulled all the wanted posters down, looking them over. He threw out some, but kept the ones that matched the faces of those he saw within the building. He smiled wickedly, as did his rider. Those without bounty ran, for they knew what was about to come, while those with stood and prepared to fight.

"Lacero!"

An eagle's screech, a witch's cackle, and a poor bartender, covered in the blood of the wicked, thrown a hundred bits to pay for the cleanup as he watched a dozen and a half of the worst criminals to ever plague Equestria have their heads thrown in a sack, which was then dragged out of the rustic, and now red painted, little tavern behind a pair of laughing pirates with a similar stain.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Do sundials malfunction if you stand near them?

Sincerely, Etch.

Ps, He needed a little help writing this one, that's why it's in my style, Griffin.

"Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen thousand. They're all here. I'll go put my paycheck in the freezer so they keep. I'll turn em in once we reach a law station. Nice doing business with you Griffin, and welcome aboard the Possibility."

"Now for these letters. I know something that might work."

Pointing several 'wands' at the pile of scrolls on the ground, I thought to myself of the correct way to say it.

"Aha! I know. Submitto ad Celestia! (Send to Celestia)" With that, the letters disappeared in a poof, and were on their way.

"Great, now to recharge my sword. I'll be in my room for the next sixteen hours, please don't disturb."

Ooh, that's dark. He also found a way to send letters easily, and a ship.

Mail Time With Ponies (32)

Mail Time With Ponies

"Oh sister! Guess what time it is?" Celestia called to Luna. They really were beginning to enjoy this. It gave them a break from the day to day monotony of their lives. It had also become a way to bond with each other, to reconnect after that thousand year gap.

"Did Griffin send us letters?" She asked, to which Celestia responded by smiling, dumping a mass of scrolls on the floor of their study. They both lay on their comfortable recliners as they began to sort through the mass of letters they had received.

"Well, unfortunately, my faithful student is off chasing a pirate, so I guess we'll just have to put up with reading prank letters from the very same pirate in the mean time." Celestia said with a smirk.

"Oh, you like them and you know it." Luna replied mirthfully.

"I never denied that. While a few of the last ones were definitely out of line, for the most part, getting unofficial letters has been enjoyable."

"Well, let's get started then shall we?" Celestia levitated the first letter.

"Oh, one for you Luna."

"Gimme!" The younger snatched it excitedly, and her eyes going wide as she read it.

Dear Princess Luna,

If your sister is the sun princess, why are you the hotter of the two?

Sincerely, Equestria's most wanted, and at the moment, least feathered, Griffin.

"Yes dear sister, if thou art the princess of the sun, and the eldest, why am I considered 'hotter'? Apparently, Griffin believes me to be the more attractive." Luna said using ye old speak, not slipping into old habits, but rather as a tease to her sister.

"It doesn't say that."

"Yes it does."

"Let me see."

Luna passed the letter to her older sister, who could hardly believe what she was reading.

"And the number of members in the 'Luna is best pony' club has just increased. Yes!" The blue alicorn cheered.

"Am, am I not attractive?" The white one almost looked hurt.

"Well, of course you are, I mean, it's really all just a matter of personal taste. He probably just prefers, leaner types."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Celestia scowled.

"Well, it's no secret that you HAVE been eating far more cake than you used to." Luna giggled.

"I am an immortal godess! I raise the sun every morning! My figure is perfect!"

"If it bothers you that much, just go on a diet."

"I do NOT need a diet."

"Let us see what the scale says then shall we? Ah ah, no wings." Luna brought in a scale and had her sister step on it.

"Now you'll see that I haven't gained any weight at.... all? Oh... oh my! Are you sure this scale is calibrated properly?" Celestia looked in shock.

"I used it yesterday myself. I am quite surprised to see the number being.... that high. Oh dear. Looks like I'll have to call in the royal outfitters to make adjustments to your raiment." Luna had a devilish smile.

"Don't you dare! I will not be made a laughing stock by my little ponies just because I am... not... so little. I am not fat, merely big boned." Celestia defended herself before looking at the scale again and sighing.

"Well, it seems as though Griffin also had image issues of his own. Equestria's least feathered griffin? Probably molted, over reacted, and pulled out all his feathers." Luna suggested.

"Like you, your first time?" Celestia's words were like stabs in her sister's head.

"Don't remind me..." She grumbled.

"Next letter?" The older suggested.

"Right. Next letter."

Dear Princess Celestia

Want to know how to make your horn 30% larger today?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"What....... I don't even...... what?" The sun princess didn't know what to say to this. What can one say to such a claim? Luna began giggling.

"Sister, don't you remember? Before my banishment. Having a large horn was seen as...... attractive. We used to get mail all the time containing advertisements like this. How HE knows about them, I have no clue." Celestia face-hoofed.

"Right, I had almost forgotten, everyday we got pamphlets for 'Hornaid', it got so bad I outlawed the product, especially considering it was rubbish. Besides, my horn is longer than that of any other pony alive, what use have I for such knowledge?" Celestia still had a faint blush, remembering the 'specifics' of the advert.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Why are ponies racist?

Sincerely, Gilda.

"Racist? Ponies aren't racist." Luna declared.

"Actually....." Celestia had a frown.

"What?"

"They kind of are."

"Sister, in the thousand years I have been gone, did I miss something drastic?"

"There was almost a war. The griffin dominion began becoming more and more hostile, until finally, a hundred years after your exile, I had to take apart their government to pacify them. Ponies never really got over it. There was never any actual combat, but the threat looming there for a hundred years put them all on edge. Even now, Equestrian griffins and diamond dogs, who live by the rules, work hard and honest, have a very difficult time gaining trust. Also, partly because of their predatory nature. While they can be vegetarian, and many are, seeing something walk through town that has the capacity to eat you is unnerving." Celestia explained.

"Even now, you just said something instead of somepony or someone."

"I know. It means they have a really hard time getting close to anypony. I seem to remember my faithful student learning that the hard way with a certain zebra, and zebras are similar to ponies. I can't even imaging how difficult it might be for a non equine." Celestia sighed.

"Unfortunately, there isn't really anything we can do about it. It's not like we can just tell ponies to trust. I know that myself." Luna sighed as well.

"It really is sad, they have such culture, and a flame in their hearts, and yet they are reduced to such a state."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Is your horn hard?

Sincerely, Trixie.

Just reading it, both alicorns began to blush furiously, before finally bursting out in laughter.

"Are... are you sure they know what they're asking?" Luna said as she wiped a tear away.

"Trixie is a unicorn. She knows exactly what she's asking. She knows all about how, like pegasi who's wings pop open when excited for some reason.... or another..... unicorns, when..... aroused....... have an increased magic flow that causes a rise in horn rigidity. It's highly unprofessional, and extremely immature to ask something like that..... which is why it's so funny! They call themselves pirates, but they're like little kids! It's hard to think of them as the same barbaric killers who rescued my nephew. It's hard to believe the report that the very same pirate band assaulted the mayor of Wethoof and scarred him permanently." They both contained their chuckles.

"He WAS kind of a twat, wasn't he?" Luna remarked.

"He had a deep pain that makes him less than accepting of non ponies. While what Griffin did was inexcusable, I'd be lying if I said he didn't have it coming. He probably tried to double cross the pirate captain, which sounds like a bad idea to begin with. Anyways, I hope my horn isn't going to be a future topic of discussion in these letters..... Speaking of letters, next!"

Dear Princess Celestia,

If a blue house has blue bricks, a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks,
What colour bricks does a greenhouse have?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Oh very funny. Luna, I know this one, you want to take a guess?" The older said with a smile, full well knowing Luna wouldn't get it.

"Blue house, blue bricks, red house, red bricks, yellow house, yellow bricks, green house, green bricks, right?"

"Actually, a greenhouse is a building made of glass. It let's sunlight in while keeping the cold out, letting plants grow during winter and in colder climates. It was invented five hundred years ago, so it makes sense you wouldn't know about it. It doesn't have bricks, it's glass." Celestia explained.

"First flattery, then he reminds me of how out of the loop I am. What I would give to know what's going on in his head."

The Volcanic Wastes

'And a ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone! Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding, banana phooooooooooooone.'

Back With The Princesses

"Aha, another one for me." Luna picked up the next letter.

Dear Princess Luna,

Do you have a pet?

Sincerely, Nadene the cat.

Ps: Meow.

"Nadene the cat? Who's this? I don't know of any cat species." Luna asked.

"Well, I think it might be another member of Griffin's crew. So, there's Griffin, Gilda, Trixie, Nadene, possibly Echo? No, I don't think he's a member of them... he sounds like he's doing something else. It looks like their numbers are increasing. They could quickly become a problem. As for what, there is a lot we don't know. Knowledge about the south of the equator is nonexistent. We're too busy taking care of Equestria to go exploring what's down there. We don't want to uncover something dangerous and have a whole new set of problems on our hooves. I guess there are sentient cats." Celestia mused.

"As for the question, do I have a pet? Well I did. Sister, what happened to Betsy?" The younger asked.

"Betsy?"

"You know, my pet titan spider?"

"Ah, right. You always kept the creepy pets. Well, eventually it got too big and started trying to eat ponies, so I had it transported to the Temple of the Hidden in the Great Southern Rainforest. I sealed the door so nopony would try to go in there looking for treasures and get eaten. There was a strange amulet there, along with a fair bit of gold, but we didn't bother taking it. I was going to, but the explorers were adamant that we remove nothing from within. Something about it being best to let the ghosts of the past slumber.

"Well, that's good to know. They're cute when they're small, but when they get big, they can be a problem. I'm glad you didn't just kill it."

Dear Princess Luna,

What is the main ingredient in moon pies?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Marshmallow. Doesn't everypony know this?" Luna pouted.

"I think he was referring to the fact that you're the princess of the moon. A joke."

"Ah, a joke. Well, it wasn't very funny. Now that I think about it... it's been a thousand years since I've had a moon pie! Excuse me for a moment." With that, Luna's horn began to glow, and she called an absurd number of the treats to her side.

"Alright, ready to continue."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Have you ever toured a glue factory?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Celestia gulped. She didn't like this question. Back when she and Discord had been together, he spoke of a world where equines had been used to make the paste. In their world, they used processed tree sap, but the question still stuck on her mind. Luna knew of this as well. They both scowled as the sun princess folded the letter up and put it away.

"Let's forget that one."

Dear Princess Luna,

Do you like my letters?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Ps. I wrote two letters today, so

THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!

"He, wha, how did he know about that? Errg, talking like that to the entire town was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to me. It's so humiliating! How does he know about that? Everypony promised never to speak of it again! While I enjoy most of his letters, some of them are just out of bounds."

"I agree. While the riddles are fine, he sends annoyance after annoyance to me, then he showers you with flattery, followed by embarrassment. It's like he's got multiple personalities. Happy, playful, and then angry and hurtful. I think I'm beginning to understand him, and by that, I mean he's nuttier than Discord, and far less predictable. Funny, I never thought I'd say someone made less sense than that draconnequuis."

"Griffin being an alien is beginning to make more and more sense though." Luna remarked.

"Indeed. Knowing about things he wasn't present for, things that happened millenia ago, and his personality being different than anyone else, pony, griffin, or other. Still, we'll never know until we catch him." Celestia mused.

"Why? I mean, we CAN send him letters. Why not just ask him? Worst that happens is he does what he did last time."

"You're right. Let's finish these letters first though. Hmm, this one says open last, okay, let's go for a different one then."

Dear Princess Luna

If someone is a fan of yours, are they technically a lunatic?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Well, considering how crazy the members of the 'Luna is best pony club' are, I'd have to say yes." Celestia teased.

"You're just jealous that I'm gaining in popularity." Luna pouted.

"I'm not jealous at all, I'm actually glad you're gaining a better position in the public eye, I just wish it wasn't all with the mentally ill and emotionally unstable."

"Oh hush, next letter."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Do sundials malfunction if you stand near them?

Sincerely, Etch.

Ps, He needed a little help writing this one, that's why it's in my style, Griffin.

"Who's Etch?"

"No idea."

"Well, looks like this 'Nadene' isn't the only one who has joined them. They're gaining momentum, and that worries me. Still, very clever, very very clever."

Dear Griffin and Crew,

I had a great deal of fun zooming around the study on my flying chair,

No, I have never mooned someone,

I am more attractive than my sister because she eats too much cake,

I had a pet titan spider, who now resides in a temple in the jungle where you are located,

Moonpies are made with marshmallow, doesn't everypony know that?

I do like your letters, that are quite humorous, and a nice change of pace.

Just because most of my fans are lunatics doesn't mean it's a requirement.

As for my question, how did you know about that Nightmare Night? All of Ponyville swore they would not talk of my 'old equestrian speak' Are you an alien as the rumor states?

Sincerely, Princess Luna.

Dear Griffin and Crew,

I did not have Twilight determine your intention, she decided to theorize this of her own accord, and I do not know why you received your letters in that manner.

Discord is a terrible fiend for locking my son, Disarray, away for two thousand years, my sister's banishment was to protect the world, and I do like bananas.

Despite what she's going to tell you in her letter, my sister did indeed moon somepony at flight camp, when she had a little too much cider for her own good one evening.

My sister is not more attractive than I am. Long horns and large wings are considered 'Hot' and I have the largest, in both categories, in all of Equestria. I do not need your 'horn extension' product, and no, I am not aroused currently.

Greenhouses are made of glass, and do not have bricks.

As for why ponies are racist, unfortunately, there are a number of causes, and I cannot state one specifically. It truly is a shame.

Sundials will continue to work normally despite my proximity to them.

As for my questions,
One, is Echo a part of your crew? Luna and I are not sure.
Two, are you an alien as you claimed to my student, and is that how you know the things you do?

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

After sealing both of their letters, ensuring that they didn't see each other's, they sent them off, then proceeded to relax with a cup of tea.

"Oh wait! We forgot the one that says 'open last'. It's for you." Luna remarked.

"Ah yes, of course. let's see here."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Rather than my usual letter, I'm writing to tell you that I've figured out how to use magic. Considering that I'm not a unicorn, this is a rather large achievement. As for the details of my discovery.... NOT TELLING! What's wrong? Jealous?

Sincerely, Griffin.

"What? Hold on, wait, what?" Both alicorns stood there stunned. Non unicorns using magic?

"Does he mean like using charged gems in a stove?" Celestia asked.

"No.... given the context, I think he means ACTUAL magic, although it's perplexing to think about how a non unicorn could use it."

"If that is the case, I must send a letter to my faithful student at once! It may just be fallacy, but if his claim is true, they could be in great danger!"

Celestia took out a parchment and quill, then hastily scribbled something on it before sending it off. Not five minutes later, she received a response.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twilight left me home to watch the library while she goes off on an adventure..... again. Unfortunately, I don't know where she is, nor do I have any idea of how to forward this message to her. Sorry.

Sincerely, your faithful student's number one assistant, Spike.

"She.... left him home....... AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!" Celestia stomped her hoof, causing the entire room to shake, before calming herself with a sip of tea after a glare from her sister.

"What is the point of me having painstakingly enchanted Spike so his dragon breath serves a messaging system between us, if she doesn't take him with? What if she get's in trouble? She'd be unable to call for help! I swear, she's a genius, but she can be so..... dense sometimes! I'll have to have a talk with her, assuming she makes it back."

"Sister, try to have a little more faith in her. While it is extremely foalish to leave him home, probably out of worry for his safety, she can handle herself. She is surrounded by her friends. She will make it back." Luna encouraged.

"Still, she's stifling him! How is he supposed to grow up properly if all he does is spend every waking hour as a postal worker and librarian?"

"Maybe she doesn't want him to grow up? After all, if he does then....."

"He'd have to leave. Ponyville is simply too small for an adult dragon, but that's no excuse for keeping him penned up all day. Still, this is worrisome. Given the way the Griffin Pirates acted with Frost Snap, I fear for their safety. For the first time in a VERY long time, I feel helpless......."

"There's nothing we can do at this point, and for we, who can do just about anything, it hurts beyond measure."

"Twilight, please be safe, you and your friends."

You're probably wondering why Celestia doesn't just send the letter to Twilight the way she sent it to Grif........ I don't friggin know! I guess it'll just be one of life's unexplained mysteries. There has to be a reason she sends them through Spike and not to her directly. I mean, Twi's letters don't get burped up, they just appear.

Other Side The Third (33)

Other Side The Third

"Finally reached Bitsburg. I am soooo glad we decided to go this way, rather than pass through Stalliongrad. I hear that place is just dreadful, although it's no Canterlot, this city has it's.... charms." Rarity began.

"It's all steamy here! And all sorts of funny spinny wheels and shiny things!" Pinkie was busy looking at her reflectiong in a large brass cog.

"Bitsburg doesn't have any unicorns at all, so instead of magic, they built machinery. They even have their own style they call, 'Steambuck', whatever that means. It's Equestria's capitol of development in machinery and alternative power sources." Twilight read off a brochure.

"So basically, they use fancy mathematics ta make fancy machines that do fancy things that unicorns would normally do?" Applejack said the bare minimum of explanation. She received a nod from the lavender mare.

"Well, I'm all for ingenuity, but I just don't have the patience for stuff like that. Still, gotta admire the determination at doin sumthin the world tells em they cant."

"I just hope we get to see the Hindentanic, it's supposed to be Equestria's largest and most luxurious airship." Rarity cooed at the thought of a travelling hotel, spa, and the like.

"Bah, who needs flying machines when you've got good old pegasus wings." Rainbow Dash bragged as she flapped her cyan plumes.

"But dear, WE don't have wings." Rarity replied.

"There are also pegasi who have been injured in one way or another and lost their ability to fly. They built metal wings to restore flight." Twilight listed off. Fluttershy coughed softly.

"It really is steamy here, it's a little hard to breathe...."

"Don't worry yourshelf one bit, you'll get used to it in due time." A salty sea dog of a pony tried to reassure her, only resulting in her jumping and letting out an eep.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to shtartle you. I know I look shcary, but I wouldn't hurt a fly, unlessh that fly was a shky sherpent." The eyepatched, one winged pegasus stepped forward, the scar across his left eye visible, as well as one along his right side. He also had a mechanical leg. His mane was matted, causing Rarity to almost gag from looking at it, and his coat was covered in patches where the fur had been burnt off. He spoke with a stern voice, rolling r's and a thick accent, saying 'sh' where there only should be an 's'.

"Oh, hello. Tell me, do you know the route to Tailton Springs?" Twilight asked.

"What do you want to go there for? Shpa's closed, you know, with the shky sherpents about."

"You mean dragons?" Twilight asked, Fluttershy letting out another eep.

"Shame thing. Shea sherpents swim in the shea, shky sherpents swim in the shky." The grizzled stallion deadpanned.

"Right, we're heading there to capture the Griffin Pirates! They won't know what hit em!" Dash proclaimed.

"Ahehehehehe, hahaha! That's a good one, couple a girly city ponies like yershelfs, one a which who jumps when a shtranger shays ello, and another who's been trying to avoid the shteam touchin er mane like it's the plague, goin after them? Good luck, you'll need it."

"Do you know him?" Twilight asked.

"Nah, just shtories. I showed up in Wethoof with the troops about an hour after he left, to deal with a hydra problem it turns out they already had taken care of. Mayor's office was in shambles, his desk was a charred puddle, the door kicked off it's hinges. And the mayor himshelf? Shaved bare with the word 'Trash' carved inta his head. He's alive, but he's got a nasty lookin shcar. Every time he looks in a mirra, he'll know EXACTLY what he thinks of im." At which point, Rarity and Fluttershy fainted. The fact someone would do something that cruel, and to permanently scar someone's beauty, was too much for the pair.

"But why?"

"Turns out, the mayor wanted him to help with the hydra problem, and ended up double crosshin im. He didn't take kindly ta that, and blew a gashket."

"Lucky we didn't get on his bad side, eh Pinkie?" Dash said nervously as she gulped.

"He's got more than one shcrew loose that one. I'm not gonna make ya go home, but you want my advice? GO HOME. He's way out of your league."

"Oh, he's not so bad. He's got a great sense of humor, although he turned down a party..." Pinkie objected.

"Well then, you all sheem to know what you're doin. I wouldn't be goin to Tailton though. If I were you, I'd head to Port Redshtone." The pegasus advised.

"Why's that?" Applejack asked.

"Because Tailton ish no longer there. Dragons burned it down. I'm headed to port to pick up some stragglers trying to eshcape the flame. You're welcome ta come with, if you have the bits for the trip."

"Just how exactly are you going to get us there?" Twilight wanted to know.

"Aha, and that ma dear, is the queshtion." The pegasus put his metal hoof in his mouth, which had a built in whistle, and a loud, high pitched sound came from it. A gust of air blowing the steam away, and a rusty, but none the less magnificent airship floated up to the dock. It was weathered, several parts had patches over burnt spots, but none the less, it was solid. It looked like it had been through Tartarus and back several times, and had beaten the living hell out of whatever had tried to come after it while it was there.

"You've got yourself a deal." Applejack and Twilight, both impressed at the work, decided immediately.

"Name's Captain Shawn Trottery, and this is my ship, the Red October."

A week passed, and more or less, the six ponies had settled in on board the ship. Rarity was constantly complaining about how 'icky' it was, but once the Captain gave her the option of swimming the rest of the way, she decided to keep her mouth shut. Fluttershy spent most of the time with her hooves over her ears, as the constant clanking of the on board machinery was quite loud. Twilight spent the majority of her time attempting to navigate and checking her charts, while Applejack spent it vomiting over the side of the ship, not being a fan of heights. Rainbow and Pinkie were however, of great use, as the fantastic flier ensured that they had smooth skies to sail on, keeping their path clear of clouds and such, while Pinkie, not surprisingly, made for a fantastic sailor. He uncanny ability to be almost anywhere on the ship instantly, her Pinkie Sense helping them narrowly avoid an approaching dragon, and her culinary skills, all were appreciated greatly by the crew of the Red October.

As they approached the Volcanic Wastes, the ship had to lower altitude to avoid the ash clouds, and the six saw a sight that disheartened them greatly. The remains of Tailton. Or, the fact that there wasn't any. Rarity had actually been there once. The spa was fabulous, but that fact that she had been pick pocketed ruined the chances of her ever returning. All that remained of the hot spring was a pile of ash and a boiling pool of water, which had a sickening shade of red to it.

"That, is mount Killahoof, the worlds largest known active volcano. It's right at the center of the wastes, and can be seen from anywhere. It drools lava conshtantly. At least it doesn't shpit it out, it just lets it flow. Most of the dragons are up thar. If we're lucky, they won't shpot us as we make our deshcent to port. Now, lassies, are you sure you want to be goin through with this? I'm picking up some shtragglers, and then I'm out of here. How do ya plan on getting home?"

"We can handle ourselves." Applejack replied.

"Fair enough, but be warned, neither dragons nor pirates are to be trifled with."

"Thanks for the heads up." Dash said.

The six stepped off of the airship and on the the scorched earth that is the volcanic wastes, a place Twilight, Dash, and Rarity had hoped never to see again. Fluttershy had a constant fit of soft coughing due to the less than pure air, while Applejack had to pull Pinkie away to stop her from touching a slow moving lava flow because she thought the light it gave off in strange patterns was 'pretty'.

"Why, it's hot enough here ta melt yer horseshoes." AJ remarked.

"This is going to wreck havoc on my mane." Rarity added.

"I don't like it here." Fluttershy stated.

After an hour, the Red October was loaded and took off, intent on leaving the danger zone as soon as possible and returning to it's port of call. As it lifted into the sky, Pinkie's tail twitched, and the six felt their hearts stop in terror. Just as it sat below the black ash clouds, a green dragon sank below it, slicing it's claws along the steel balloon frame, cutting it loose and sending the under carriage crashing into the Ring Sea, before flying off again. It sank the airship for no reason other than to delight in it's destruction. Hoping against hope that Shawn Trottery and his crew would be alright, but knowing there was nothing they could do to help them, they all gulped as they headed in to one of the only remaining buildings that hadn't been destroyed, a truly massive concrete dome made of four triangles on hinges. It looked as though it could open up. It was so large, if they didn't know better, they would have mistaken it for a part of the mountain.

"Well, I guess it's time to start looking for clues, see if anyone has seen them, if anyone is even left. This looks like a good place to start."

As they entered the dome, a sudden draft of clean, and more importantly, cool, air washed over them, a welcome change from the hot dry filth they had been breathing for the past three hours.

"Oi! Close tha door lassies! Ya'r lettin all tha cold air oot." Someone called in a distinctly Scottish voice. Twilight pulled the door closed behind her and the lights flickered on.

"Well, six ponies, what do ya think yer dooin here? Didn'tcha know everyone is makin fer port ta escape this blasted land? You best be dooin the same." They couldn't see where the voice was coming from.

"Um, hello? Where are you?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, right, ya can't very well see me with the lights off." With that, the lights flicked on, revealing an absolutely MASSIVE vessel. It was a ship, not quite the size of the Hindentanic in Bitsburg, but then again, this wasn't a flying hotel. This was a warship.

"Holy sweet mother a Celestia." Applejack had to take off her hat to see the whole thing, or else the brim would have gotten in the way. Still looking for the voice, they noticed a rather cheery looking minotaur on top of it. Twilight's brain looked like it was going to fizzle out.

The Scottish minotaur, wearing kilt and all, hopped down to the floor of the work shop.

"Name's Steelhorn, pleasure to make yer acquaintance, especially to a bunch a lovely lasses such as yerselves." He gave a bow.

"My, such a gentlecolt." Rarity was surprised to see a supposed monster acting with such a pleasant demeanor.

"It's true. I'm the worlds most handsome and polite. But enough about meh, what about yoo?"

"Hello Steelhorn, I'm Twilight Sparkle, protege of Princess Celestia."

"I am Rarity, dress shop owner in Ponyville."

"Ahm Applejack, pleasure to make yer acquaintance." She began to give her usual hoof shake, which he surprisingly met. At the end, AJ felt like it was HER leg that was going to fall off.

"Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria and future Wonderbolt!"

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie and you're super duper nice and *gasp* we should totally throw you a party! Because I like meeting new friends and everypony likes parties!"

"Nice to meet you all. Wait, one, two, three, four, five.... weren't there six of ya?" He counted on his fingers. Dash stepped aside to reveal Fluttershy hiding behind her legs.

"Aww, well, if you ain't the cutest lil pony I've every seen. What's yoor name little one?" He bent low to become less frightening.

"I'm Fluttershy."

"Um, sorry, I couldn't quite catch that, I'm a wee bit deaf from workin with machines all me life, think yoo could speak up a bit?"

"She's Fluttershy and, she's as you might be able to guess, a little shy around new faces." Twilight intervened.

"Ah, think nothin of it. I know I've got a scary face, but don't worry one bit, I don't bite at all."

After the introductions were complete, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but gawk at the massive vessel behind him and whistle.

"You like? I built her myself. Only took my twenty five years. She sure is a master piece. I was almost afraid I wouldn't finish it, but luckily I got everything I needed to finish it just in the nick of time. It's actually set to launch tomorroo. I'm gettin out of here before the volcano goes off." The outer skin shimmered with every colour of the rainbow, almost like a fish in clear water with the sun shining down on it.

"Why, it's beautiful! Such craftsmanship! Such flare! Such an intricate design! It's simply fabulous! What is it?" Rarity asked.

"It's an airship!" Steel Horn replied.

"But it doesn't have a balloon! It's all, flat and stuff instead of poofy." Pinkie reasoned.

"That's because with the design, the balloon is inside the ship. It has a solid outer skin, with the inflatable bag on the inside. The deck lifts up into the shell to make it seamless, with port holes and screens so you can still look out, as well as specially designed weapons system. That is actually a last minute addition, which I haven't installed yet. Just got the design set up for it, I'll need to stop off at Equestria for a bit to pick up the supplies for it, and then I can replace the cannons. A genius came along and suggested it to me, then told me he'd rent it! He paid quite a lot, just to borrow it, considering he's going to be putting it to the test. I never would have thought to use it like that, so, I gave him a big discount."

"Wow, that's amazing! I suppose you won't say, because you know..." Twilight trailed off.

"Trade secret, yeah. This is goin to revolutionize the way airships are built I tell you that."

"Right, now to the business at hoof. Before we get distracted any further, the reason we came here in the first place. We're looking for the Griffin Pirates... have you seen them?"

"Friends of theirs?" Steelhorn asked.

"You could say that......"

"Well, I have seen em. In fact, they'll be coming here sometime tomorrow to help with the take off. If you're waiting for them, yoo could just stay here for the night." He offered.

"Oh no, we couldn't, I mean, not that we don't appreciate the offer but....." Rarity began.

"Oh filly folly, I know it's hotter than a desert out there, and twice as dangerous. Besides, you'd hate to leave and miss them when they arrive."

"Well, if you insist......"

"Yay! Airship party!" Pinkie yelled out.

"Alright, welcome aboard, I'll show you to your rooms."

A plank was lowered, allowing the ponies to walk up it and on to the undercarriage. It wasn't opulent, but was by no means a dump. It was designed for functionality. After all were on board, the carriage began to slide up into it, the lights flickering on as it did so. They saw a number of cat like creatures loading things, moving them around, preparing for the take off the next day. They assumed them to be the ships crew.

"And here we are. Lower decks are residence. You'll be able to look out and see the sky through the armored port holes. Upper decks are machinery, engines, defenses and the lot, as well as the bridge. Off limit to ya. Don't need civilians runnin around up there, besides, there's nothin to see, it's quite boring. You can go anywhere below the landing deck, and nowhere above it. There's a main hall and mess hall in case you feel the need for some room. Most of the time, we'll be flying her opened up, so you'll be able to get some fresh air, and we'll be doin that over the ring sea, but if things get dicy, you'll go below deck and we'll close it. This completes the shell and makes it nigh impenetrable. We're also keepin it locked up while in the wastes, don't wanna go breathin an ash cloud. Yer feathered friend will have plenty of time with open skies once we're over the ocean." The ship owner looked to see Rainbow Dash getting antsy.

"Just settle in and calm yerself. Even locked up, there's plenty of room to fly around, you don't need to stay rooted."

"Oh thank Celestia." Dash immediately flew up and did a couple loops, being careful not to collide with any of the workers.

"So, who are they?" Twilight asked, obviously wondering about the unknown species.

"Natives of the jungle. The one who's leasing the Possibility has his own crew and everything. Saves me on trying to find one, can't operate everything myself. Good thing I didn't tell him that or I'd have to give him another discount."

Rarity seemed most displeased that the minotaur was being that greedy, she'd never dream of doing something like that and ripping someone off. Despite his charm, he had the avarice of a dragon.

"Well, head below decks and find some rooms for yourselves. Get a good night's rest, we're setting out in the morning."

"Are you sure this is okay? I mean, you're renting the ship out to somepony else, but letting us ride for a fare?" Applejack asked.

"Hey, it's still my ship, I can do what I want with it. As long as we go where he says, save for making a stop at an Equestrian port, which we both agreed upon, he's in no position to complain."

The mane six found six rooms, three on either side of a hall, and settled into them, unpacking their things, and writing their names on an erasable board on the door. They noticed several other names next to their rooms.

"Nadene and Maria sharing a room, Etch and Growl in another..... Those don't sound like pony names..... probably some of the crew. Really packing them in like sardines that Steelhorn is." Rarity muttered to herself. She didn't bother going to the end of the hall, only interested in her immediate neighbours. If she had, she would have noticed the names, Trixie and Gilda across from each other, with Griffin at the hall's end.

Oh no! They're all in the same hall! I can see this ending very badly, or hilariously if you look at it from the other perspective. Also, Hindentanic- Hinderburg and Titanic, a massive luxury cruise airship that's doomed to failure. Probably won't see it again, just a little throw in of a web comic I saw. Poor Sean Connery's pony, he's in the ocean.

Meet The Troll (34)

Meet The Troll

I awoke and cracked all my joints, then shuddered with satisfaction. I put on my gear, then went and woke my crew.

"Big day today. We've gotta help with the launch of the ship. The two of us will be flying around the outside, making sure it's clear, Nadene, start training Maria. Etch, Growl, I want you to help with whatever Steelhorn needs, within reason anyway. If he starts having you act like butlers, feel free to turn him down. But that's not till later, first, let's get breakfast."

Shimmer woke up from her nap and poked her head out of Gilda's backpack with a yawn.

"Hey, nice of you to wake up. How are you this morning?"

"I.... I miss my mommy." At which point she was grabbed and held close, having her nuzzle into the lady griffin's feathers again.

"I do too..." Shimmer didn't seem to understand, but I told her that we'd explain later, and there was no need to worry herself with it, and that her new mom would tell her when she was ready to. No point in burdening the kid. As we walked down the hall, I noticed the rooms next to ours had been claimed. Spying the names written on the doors, I read them over and over, sudden realization hitting me like a ton of bricks. I dove into Gilda's room as I heard a commotion within, the mane six waking up.

"Gilda, we've got a problem. You know how I said before I was forgetting something? You know how Tailton was destroyed, and that's where the six were headed?"

"Yeah?"

"Guess where the closest settlement to there is?"

"Here?"

"You guessed it, and guess who our neighbours are."

"You must be kidding."

"I wish I was." She face clawed.

"Is there something wrong with our neighbours? Are they mean?" Shimmer asked.

"No, that's not it, it's just, we know them, and weren't expecting to run into them here. We're not really friends, and not really enemies either. Just unexpected, and I need to think of a way to handle them before we meet them."

"We could kick them off the ship.... seeing as how we technically own it right now."

"And leave them to die here? We can't just throw them to the dragons, no offense Shimmer."

"So, avoid?"

"Kind of unlikely since their rooms are right next to ours."

"Then, what?"

"Try and make peace?"

"Oh, right, I forgot, you know all about them from before. You're not gonna have a fanboy moment are you?" Gilda deadpanned.

"No guarantees. Hey, you got to hang out with Daring Do."

"Guh, fine. Are you at least going to do your usual thing?"

"Use trickery and charm to humiliate them into oblivion? Of course! I wouldn't miss a chance at that for the world. Here's what I'm going to do......."

After explaining my plan, I put my ear to the door at hearing the other ones open.

"Well, I must say that these accommodations, while not five star, are quite satisfactory." Rarity said as she exited her room.

"You're telling me, I haven't gotten such a good night's sleep in forever." Twilight replied.

"That's because you don't have a library here, so instead of studying all night you actually sleep." Dash chided.

"I thought it was nice, although it was a little quiet, I'm used to hearing the breathing of little animals." Fluttershy, complaining about it being quiet?

"I have ta say, it was pretty comfy. I dropped like I had just finished applebuck season." Applejack. Haven't seen either of them yet, but their voices match perfectly.

"Today we get to have a super duper fun party!" Pinkie.

"First, let's get breakfast."

With that, the mane six, right outside my door, went to the upper decks to get something to eat. We had food of our own hidden away, so we just took that with us. The deck had been lowered in the morning, well, as much of a morning as it could be within an underground bunker on an airship with few windows, but regardless, it had been lowered to let on more supplies in preparation of the final sendoff.

"Alright, so I was thinking, we go for the shock and awe treatment. Just walk up and say hi like it's nothing. They'll be too confused to come up with a proper reaction."

"Sounds good."

After explaining it to Nadene, Maria, Etch, Growl, and Trixie, we all gathered our gear and went up to the mess hall for breakfast. We had gotten up before the cats, as they stayed up in the night helping out, so they would sleep further into the day. All that remained was the launch at noon, where we would be flying around, making sure the edges of the ship didn't scrape on walls and stuff like that. Entering the eatery, we saw the mane six sitting at a table. Rather than buy food from that greedy minotaur, we opted to just eat some of our own. After all, we had brought a very large supply of it. It would last us about a week, if it kept. We'd have to get more at the next port, although, I didn't see that as a problem, considering that we're pirates. We could just do some piracy. Or go to the zebra isles and pick some of the natural growing stuff. Whatever works. We walked over to them, fully armed and armored, and sat down. I, of course, sat next to Fluttershy.

"Hey, mind if we sit here?"

"Oh, no, go right ahead." Twilight responded not really paying attention. Gilda sat across from me, Nadene next to me, Maria across from her. Then Trixie sat across from Etch, and Growl by himself. He's kind of antisocial, but oh well. I used to be too. Shimmer was in Gilda's backpack, eating a banapple. The mane six weren't really paying attention, still half asleep, and didn't realize it was me. Then again, Fluttershy and Applejack were the ones right next to me, and they hadn't seen me before, other than wanted posters. Time to open it up a bit.

"So, hows about that Gilda? Bet you weren't expecting to eat breakfast with a band of fearless pirate hunters, especially since we're the pirates they're hunting. I was sure a fight would have broken out by now." A clamor of spoons being dropped. The mane six turned to look at the source of the voice, seeing me with a big stupid grin plastered to my face.

"Hiya! Long time no see." At which point, all their chairs fell over backwards, and there were six ponies lying on the floor groaning. They eventually got to their feet, all in combat stance, ready to fight us.

"Oh just sit down and have your breakfast will you? We can do that later, there's no point in fighting with an empty stomach." We just continued to eat, while the mane six slowly walked back over to their seats, very cautiously, as though they were expecting it to be some kind of trick. Eventually, they were all sitting, eating their food like it might be poisoned, despite the fact that they had already been eating it before I came in. They all kept an eye on me the whole time. Finally, once we had all eaten, the whole lot of us stood up.

"We should do this in the main hall, it's empty, and I don't want to break anything. I wouldn't be able to afford replacements." They nodded dumbly, not really sure of what's going on, but going along with it anyway. We walked out first, and they followed. I could hear whispers from behind.

"Pssssssssss....... crazy?........... what...... thinking?......... how?............ not worried?........ arrest.......... Celestia.........."

'Probably wondering what's going on in my head, Twilight reminding them of their goal to arrest me and bring me to the princess.'

We entered the main hall, all of us lining up on one side, while the six were on the other. They eyed us warily. I looked at Trix and moved my head, signalling her to stay close. Nadene stood in front of Maria, Etch and Growl drew their charged gem spears. Nadene and Gilda moved back, drawing their bows, keeping the younger griffin behind them. Etch and Growl moved to either side of me and a little behind to protect the back line from flanking. I stood front and center. Twilight stood front and center as well, Dash to her left, and AJ to her right, Rarity was behind and to the left of Twilight, Pinkie behind and to the right, and Fluttershy was cowering at the back.

'She's cute and all, but she's not meant for combat. Sure, she can use the stare, but if that fails? She's doomed. Then again, she snapped a bear's neck.......'

"Griffin! We're here to arrest you and your crew for crimes against Equestria, and bring you back to Canterlot to face judgement by Princess Celestia!" Twilight finally had the nerve to speak up, and did so with a speech about justice.

"Okay."

"Then you give us no choice but to.... wait, did you just say okay?"

"Yep."

"So then, you surrender?" She cocked her head to the side. I drew Hades and held it in a guard stance in front of me.

"Nope."

"Wait, what?"

"You said you were here to arrest me, and I acknowledged that, now I'm telling you... You'll never take me alive coppa!" Pinkie started to giggle.

"Pinkie, this is serious! This isn't some police drama, it's life!"

"Oh lighten up would you? If you keep fretting over every little thing you'll wind up gray before you're twenty." At which point I plucked a single silver strand from her mane and held it up so everyone could see. Stifled giggles from Dash and AJ, blatant laughter from my side.

"It's. NOT. FUNNY!" Twilight started grinding her teeth.

"Yes it is. Speaking of you, how'd you find us? Have you been following us?" I suddenly took up a Rainbow Dash position.

"Are you a spy?" Dash couldn't help it and finally broke down laughing.

"Ooh! That's funny because that's what Dashie asked the first time they met!" Pinkie was bouncing around.

"Oh relax, I know Twilight's not a spy, I mean, why would she be a spy when it's clearly Pinkie Pie who's the secret agent." They all looked at me incredulously, while Pinkie actually seemed a slight bit nervous.

"What? She can run almost as fast as Dashie can fly, can appear out of anything from a basket of sponges to a mirror, defy all laws of physics and logic, has an innate sense of danger, as well as other things, able to pull a cannon out of nowhere, and has hats, eye patches, and other such disguises hidden all over Equestria just in case of emergency. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out before. After all, Mina, we used to be partners....."

"Huh?" The six asked. They didn't understand.

"Pinkamina Diane Pie, Mina, mi amor, why did you betray me? You left the spy business, gave up all your memories of me, for what? To follow your dream of becoming a baker? The moonlit sonata in the streets of Venice, the dinners in France under the stars, fighting together, back to back, against all odds, did all of it mean nothing to you? You didn't even say goodbye. You just let them mind wipe you and left. I would have gone with you! I would have given up our past for a future with you! But no, you left me behind. I refused to give up my memories of you, and so I left, memory intact. I went renegade, in hopes that they would call you back into active duty and come after me, since you were the only one who could ever best me, but it seems my plan has failed. You chased me of your own accord, with no knowledge of who I am, who I was." I looked down, depressed. Pinkie looked at me for a second before winking.

'YES! She realized the improv and is going to play along!'

"Mockingbird." She adopted a french accent.

"Mina?"

"I would never let them take our love. I escaped and went into hiding, that is why I never looked for you, I couldn't let myself be found. But now, this... all this, for me? You have gone too far."

"But Mina....."

"No, you always knew our duty came first." She stepped in front of Twilight to stare me down. I brought fake tears to my eyes.

"Now, for the good of Equestria, I must stop you. I will bring you back to the academy, where you will pay for your crimes, and I, my own."

"Then you are lost. The Mina I knew and loved is dead. There is nothing left for me in this world! I will never go back, and I won't allow you to go either!" I grabbed a vial of 'mana potion' from my pack and drank it.

"This is the end. If I am dead, then you will have no reason to return to that awful place and give up your freedom." I made overly dramatic death motions before I fell to the ground, 'dead'. Rarity and Fluttershy were bawling, holding each other, Applejack and Dash each wiped a tear from their eye, and Twilight had tears streaming down her face. Pinkie just sat there.

"I always knew the price of justice was steep, but never did I imagine it would take you from me. Good night, Mockingbird." She closed her eyes and walked back to her friends.

"Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnd CUT!" Trixie called out. I sprang to my feet, Pinkie turned and started giggling, and all her friends, still with tears in their eyes, suddenly snapped to attention.

"Wait, wha, huh, I, WHAT?" Twilight called out.

"Did you like our improv? I thought it was pretty good."

"It was an ACT?" The lavender unicorn started fuming. "And YOU were in on it?" She turned to Pinkie.

"Yeppers!"

"I, that, what? What's going on?!"

"What's going on is we just gave you material for your next romance novel. Or was it Rarity that writes the romance novels, Fluttershy? No.... oh wait! Maybe you haven't started writing them yet.... riiiiight, the time difference. Duh."

"But, that.... doesn't make any sense." The purple mare declared. Then, in my best impression of Discord, I said,

"Make sense? What fun is there in making sense?" They all let out a collective gasp.

"DISCORD!"

"Not even close. He's chaotic evil, I'm chaotic good."

"What?"

"Oh, do I have to explain everything? Princess Celestia is lawful good. Always does the right thing, and in the most acceptable manner. Echo is neutral good, he doesn't have the power that being royalty brings, and he knows that things don't always work out, so he does all he can, but he knows sometimes he has to bend the rules. I'm chaotic good, my plan will improve the lives of everyone everywhere, but the task is nearly impossible, and I'm overstepping the boundaries of what should be possible with every move I make, so I have to break a LOT of rules."

"You? Good? You're a pirate! You're evil!" Twilight reasoned.

"Oh, I see, so trying to help an entire nation who is starving to death and fear for their lives and freedoms is evil because they're not ponies? Except that some of them are. If my plan succeeds, I'll free, and feed, all the griffins, diamond dogs, and ponies who are living in oppression in the north provinces. That doesn't sound evil to me. What is evil is the fact that your princess took apart the griffin government, destroying their organization and with it, any semblance of defense they had. She's partly responsible for the state it's been in for the past nine hundred years. I'm just cleaning up her mistake, and it's a VERY messy one."

"I, uh, I...."

"I'm going to bring families back together, and make those who haven't known happiness in nine hundred years smile. Sure, my methods are less than ideal, but then again, so is the situation. I fight, but I do so against evil."

"What ever you say, you're just a liar, all you want is to take over the world." Applejack pointed out.

"Take over the world? Oh, Applejack, you flatter me! No. Ruling the world is far too much trouble. I don't envy your Princesses at all. Crowns are heavy, and I don't mean they weigh a lot."

"So then, say you succeed, what are your plans for Equestria?" Rarity piped up.

"I have none."

"What?"

"There is a saying where I'm from. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Celestia and Luna are doing a far better job running your utopia than I ever could, why would I want to go and ruin that? All that would change is there would be a better economy due to an increase in goods coming across the border that are not the result of slave labour. As for personally maybe a vacation once in a while? Oh, and everyone would be happier. A lot happier. Tell me Pinkie, how many parties have you thrown for griffins?" This brought a gasp for the pink mare, when she realized the answer was none, save the catastrophic failure that was Gilda's party.

"Well then, when I fix the world, I invite you to plan the official founding ceremony. I'll have Celestia forward you the letter when it happens so you can know when to start planning it. In the mean time, come on Gilda, we've got to get ready for the launch." We were about to leave, when Twilight teleported in front of us.

"You do know we could just fly up right?"

"Not all of you." She smiled.

"Oh?" At which point, Trixie hopped on my back, Nadene on Maria's, and Gilda grabbed the dogs.

"Wait, you're the captain right?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah."

"So then, why do you let Trixie... you know.... ride you?"

"Why not?"

"Because it's embarrassing?"

"I'm not embarrassed, are you embarrassed?" I asked my rider.

"No."

"You see, this came from necessity. She needed a better way to get around, I needed someone to look out for me in the fray, she needed someone who could hit hard, and being ridden is surprisingly comfortable."

"Then, why isn't Gilda being ridden?" She asked, at which point, Shimmer popped out of the backpack.

"HI!" Fluttershy perked up.

"A baby dragon!"

"I'm not a baby. I'm thirteen!" She replied spitefully.

"Oh.... sorry." She hid behind her mane. Now that the yellow pegasus was out in the open, Nadene, who happens to like cute things, leapt off her ride and scooped her up, hugging her.

"You're adorable!" She cried as her victim tried to escape.

'Must.... resist..... urge..... to glomp..... jealousy rising......'

"Grif, can we keep her?"

"You must be joking....." She turned to me with those big pleading eyes that told me she wasn't.

"She's not a pet you know. She's a pony, with a mind of her own. I don't think her friends would like it very much if we took her." Grumbling, Nadene put the now disoriented pony down, pouted, then got back on Maria.

"By the way, ya'll haven't introduced the rest of em...." Applejack pointed out.

"Alright, well, Gilda and I have to go meet up with Steelhorn to help with the launching of this thing, why don't you all get to know each other? After it's up in the air, I'll come right back." We left before they could object.

No letter this chapter, as there will be a big one next chapter.

Takeoff (35)

Takeoff

"Well, um, I guess we should do introductions?" Twilight suggested meekly. Nadene almost skipped forwards.

"Ahm Applejack, I run Sweet Apple Acre's with my brother, sister, and Granny." Applejack stated proudly.

"I am Rarity, and I must say, your outfits need a makeover. Make that all of you needs a makeover."

"I'm Pinkie Pie and we'll be the best of friends!" Pinkie bounced around, Nadene eyeing her like a cat does to a toy.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia."

"I'm Rainbow Dash, Fastest Flier in Equestria and future Wonderbolt!" She puffed herself up.

"I, um, I'm Fluttershy." She said whle hiding behind her mane.

"CUTE!" Nadene was about to run and hug her again, but got pounced by Pinkie, who then started bouncing around her, rambling about parties and such. After finally getting up and dusting herself off, they continued.

"Hi! I'm Nadene the cat! Griffin saved my tribe from impostors, and I joined his crew to go on adventures!" Happy cat is happy, and purrs a lot. She moved out of the way and showed Maria.

"Um, uh, I'm, Maria and um, well, I was.... one of the impostors but.... I didn't want to be, and um, I was scared but, Griffin saved me from being eaten and now they take care of me......" The young griffin said meekly, almost the same way Fluttershy talks, which caused the yellow pegasus to look out from behind her mane to see the griffin trying to avoid eye contact. Nadene responded by patting her head to make her feel more comfortable.

"I'm Etch.... this is Growl.... he doesn't talk much.... we were enslaved after our alpha got beaten, and he freed us and let us join him." The shorter dog introduced.

"Who was the dragon with the beautiful blue scales on Gilda's back?" Rarity asked.

"That was Shimmer, They found her by the body of her mother, who had died trying to protect her from another dragon. That was maybe.... three days ago? Poor thing..... I lost my mother too, and while Gilda won't tell her, she lost her's when she was only eight. When she escaped the mines, she had to leave her family behind. So, now, we've all made a new family." Nadene explained sullenly. She was really sad, remembering her own mother. Only just now realizing that the entire crew was made up of those who lost their families, the six ponies felt downright terrible about the situation. Applejack finally broke the silence.

"Doesn't it bother ya'll, you know, bein lied to?"

"What do you mean?" Maria asked.

"Well I mean, he's a liar. He's goin about, spillin some sob story to getch'all to follow him."

"He's not a liar! Okay, so maybe he lies, but NEVER to us! We're his crew, his family!" Nadene started glaring at the orange earth pony.

"He's really got ya'll believing that don't he? Let me guess, he told ya'll that he's an alien too?"

"Yes, and he showed us what he really looks like too!" Nadene was getting mad. Growl was... growling, in a low tone, clearly not happy at the accusations they were making.

"What, he draw ya a picture or somethin?"

"No, he used magic to change himself back."

"Then why's he still a griffin?" Twilight asked.

"Because his real form is weaker and doesn't have wings, so he changed back again." Nadene deadpanned. They all sat there for a moment before they burst out in laughter.

"Oh.... you really had us going there..... use magic?...... He's not a unicorn!" Nadene turned to the dogs, pointed at the group of ponies, then put a finger to her mouth. Etch and Growl got the hint, stepped forwards, pointed their gem spears and,

"Umbra."

Suddenly, everything went quiet. The ponies turned and looked to each other. They tried to talk, and when they realized they couldn't, all but Fluttershy gave a silent shriek of horror, which slowly gave way to an audible one.

"Wh... wh... wha? What? What did? How? Huh?" Twilight looked like her brain was about to break.

"Magic. Leader learned, taught to us." Growl stated in his low gravelly voice.

"But, there's no spells I know of that a unicorn can cast that can take away somepony's voice!"

"It's weaker, but, can do different things." Etch added. Nadene just smirked.

"He learned magic for revealing hidden things, and he used it on himself to show us what he looks like."

"Really, well, that, I'd like to see. A whole new type of magic! So many possibilites!" And thus, Twilight began to geek out.

"Show me more!"

"No."

"What? Why not?" She pouted and had pleading eyes.

"Because, leader did not say to. We proved point, do not want to give away captain's secrets." Growl, explained. Strange for a guy who never talks.

"Attention passengers, we will be launching in five minutes! the deck will lift in thirty seconds, brace yourselves." Steelhorn's voice came over the speaker system.

"Well, let's go back to our rooms. It's going to get VERY hot up here in a couple of minutes." And with that, the crew headed below deck, followed by the mane six, as they were all headed to the same place.

"Alright, Gilda, pull the lever on three! One! Two! Three!" Pulling the levers at the same time, on opposite ends of the hangar, the four massive round triangles that made up the dome began to lift. At first, small cracks of like began seeping through, growing until the blinding light of the sun filtered in, in all it's glory. We shielded our eyes to it, after all, we had been looking at the soft, artificial lighting for the past day and a half. From the outside, it would have looked like it was a giant concrete flower opening. The four pieces finally rested in the full open position with a thud, a gust of hot wind blowing the cool air away and washing over my body.

'Man I hate the heat. Soon as I get this done, the sooner I can get back on the nice cold airship. Definitely downsides to being a Canadian white boy. I thought the jungle would get me used to it, but volcanoes are damn HOT.'

The sunlight shining off the metal hull of the ship made it sparkle like the finest cut diamond, in a dizzying array of colour. It was absolutely fucking gorgeous. Steelhorn had explained a little bit of the ship's mechanics to me. A seamless balloon that always contains the same amount of air, a large number of very small fire rubies inside. The conduits transfer power from an extremely large, rare sun diamond, which was grown for ten years while he build the ship. When fire rubies get overloaded, they generate heat. So, when the high magic slurry of gem water passes on the underside, they give more magic than the ruby can handle to it, which it turns into heat, which it gives into the balloon. This heats the air causing it to rise. To go down, it does the same thing, but with frost amethysts. The balloon itself doesn't expand or contract, only minimally, as it's actually attached to the solid skin of the hull. Quite ingenious if you think about it, the biggest weak point on the ship is permanently attached to a near impenetrable armor. It's an ironclad airship, except with varcalite, whatever that is, instead. He said it would take a nest of dragons to sink it, and I tried to forget about the fact that there were about ten or so nests just on this side of the volcano.

As the majestic ship rose into the air, Gilda and I flew around to make sure it didn't contact anything. Also, the reason the bunker was so cold was to make it easier for the ship to rise with the hot air inside it. There wasn't a problem at all. Big as it was, there was PLENTY of room all around. The engines, one of the only external parts, four of them, placed in an 'X' formation along the outside, began spinning up. It was nearly blinding to look at in the midday sun. The bastard had actually planned it that way to give the best first impression, clever devil. It steadily rose until it was completely free of it's confines. I flew up in front of the reinforced glass pane that held the bridge behind it and signaled that they were clear before the ship started moving north, towards the sea. Gilda motioned everything was good on her end, and the two of us flanked the Possibility on it's maiden voyage. It only took two minutes to get it to the sea, as the dock had been built fairly close to the shore, and despite being a blimp, it was much faster than most inflatable aircraft.

About an hour, and we were out on the open sea, the shore still visible in the distance, the cool ocean air replacing the heat of the Volcanic Wastes. Bidding that boiling hell goodbye, and so long to toxic ash clouds, the Possibility opened up, letting us land and get something to eat. We went to our rooms, took off our stuff, and then went to the mess hall, where the mane six were waiting. Steelhorn came down from upper levels on a ladder, standing on the landing deck for a moment to admire the sea, before coming down and joining us.

"So Grif, what do ya think? Will she be good enough ta bear ya to the old Dominion?"

"Hot damn Steel, it's so shiny it looked like there were two suns out there. An oddly shaped, rainbow coloured sun, but a sun none the less. Forget guns, we'll just blind em!"

"Thing of beauty isn't she. Twenty five years.... and she's finally lifted off. She's my dream, and she's finally taking flight." The old minotaur had a tear in his eye.

"Yer cat's got flyin the thing down, they're the ones you brought her out of port. I have ta say, I like the captain's chair, although I suppose for the next while, you'll be sittin in it won't ye?"

"Ah no, I can't take that away from you. I'm more of an up front kind of guy. I'll let you captain the ship, while I captain the crew. Fair deal?"

"Aye." He shook my claw.

"Well, I ought ta leave ya to yer meal. I been up the past three days tryin ta get her ready, I think I'll go lie down fer a bit." And then he marched off to get some rest.

"So then, you're the buyer?" Twilight looked at me strangely.

"Yep. I raided an ancient temple and got a load of gold out of it. And it's not really buying as much as it is renting. Once we're done with it, he'll get it back and sell it, although, considering only Celestia and Luna can afford the damn thing, maybe Fancy Pants, he doesn't really have that much of a pick of buyers. He says it's all about the money, but I know a sailor when I see one. The journey is his dream, not the money, although getting loaded can't hurt! Now, I know you're all dying with questions, so, ask away, I'll answer if I feel like it."

"Do you really know magic?" Twilight started almost immediately.

"Yes, I do. Figured it out in the jungle. It's really simple. I mean, as soon as I found an example of how to use it, I put it together with whatever else I already knew from legends and bam, I got a whole load of spells. I taught some of the more useful ones to the crew."

"Would you mind, you know, showing me?" She asked, fluttering her eyes.

"No, and I don't mean I don't mind, I mean no, I won't show you. You've already got magic, I'm not just about to tell you how mine works." She pouted angrily, then let out a sigh of defeat.

"Well, we're stuck with each other for the next week, and our rooms are right next door to yours, so I suggest we get along. I don't want anyone getting thrown off the ship."

"Is it true that yer an alien, or we're ya just lyin about that too...." Applejack scowled.

"That's right! You told me you were an alien, and then stole those books! Give them back!" Twilight demanded with renewed vigor.

"Hey, I didn't steal them, I borrowed them. You said borrowing them was okay. This was just, for an unknown amount of time is all. I have them in my room, and I've copied all the important stuff into my own notes anyways. So sure, you can have em back. As for if I'm an alien or not, I am, and because of that, I knew a fair bit about this world before I got here. Well, about Equestria anyway. Didn't know about the rest of it, and the rest of it is so similar to home that it sickens me. I couldn't do anything about it there, but here, I can, so I'm gonna."

"He ain't lying Twi, I can tell, although I think he's just crazy and really believes what he's tellin us." Applejack added.

"Oh well, believe whatever you want to."

"Hey! I know! Why don't you show us all what you really look like Griffy?" Pinkie piped up.

"Yeah, then we'd know ya aren't lyin, or crazy." AJ added.

"I wanna see what you look like without the wings and claws. I beat the stuffing out of you before, I bet I could do it when you're yourself." Dash bragged.

"Nope. I'm not gonna show you. One, Dash will kill me, I am weaker and wingless in that form, with no claws or beak. I'm literally defenseless, and I don't feel like dying. Two, I don't want you to know what I look like, how else am I supposed to hide later on if everyone knows both my forms? Three, I'm not showing you my magic, because then I'll spend the next forever being an egghead with Twilight."

"Rationalize it all you want, the fact that ya won't show us just proves that yer makin it up." Applejack spat. I gave a sigh.

"Try and convince me all you want, but the fact that Dashie here will kick my ass is all the motivation I need to NOT show you. Let's go get the books, Twi, come with me."

The purple unicorn and I walked through the bowels of the ship, and I noticed she was looking at me funny. Probably a mix of fear and curiosity, after all, I'm a pirate who discovered magic, so, I'm a brutish barbarian scholar with a sense of humor and talent for acting. Yep, she has no idea what's going on in my head, she probably think's I'm nuts.

"*Burp* Oh, excuse me..... LETTERS!" I snatched them before Twilight could pick them up.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Only Princess Celestia sends letters like that!"

"So?"

"She's obviously trying to contact me!"

"Guess again."

"What?" I showed her the first line of the both letters, each saying Dear Griffin the griffin, and she backed off.

"So.... you write letters to the princess too?" She asked nervously, trying to take a peek at what was on them.

"Yep, quite often in fact."

"Did you happen to ask how ponies can hold things without fingers?" She raised her eyebrow.

"I knew it."

"Knew what?" She asked.

"She told me, 'Such information is integral to the Equestrian lifestyle and will not be given to pirates', basically, she didn't know. That's been killing me forever! I mean, how? I kind of figured she might ask you about that one when she said that."

"Do you have any idea how much trouble that's been giving me!" She got red in the face.

"I spent weeks and barely figured out anything! And then I started seeing other things, like I put a scroll away, but I didn't have saddle bags!"

"Yeah, I kind of noticed that too, but I wasn't going to ask till I got an answer back on the hoof thing. I mean, Pinkie has her party cannon which comes out of nowhere, right?"

"How do you know about the party cannon?"

"Alien, remember?"

"Riiiiiiight."

We reached the rooms, I went into mine and brought out her books, passing them to her.

"Go store these in your room, I need to write a letter to the princesses, and then I'll be right out."

She took them in her telekinetic grasp, then went in her room and closed the door, presumably to check them for damage. I changed into my human form, then wrote a response letter.

Dear Princesses Celestia and Luna,

In response to your letters, no, Echo is not a member of my crew. We met for a time, but went our separate ways. He's a hero in Wethoof now for dealing with the hydra problem. He deserves a medal or something.

Luna, sorry, but I killed your pet. Actually, my crew did, while it was distracted trying to EAT ME. Considering the fact that you raised an eight legged demon, and all spiders exist for the sole purpose of tormenting me, I regretfully inform you that you are no longer best pony. That honour goes to Twilight, who is the only one who didn't try to hurt me or cower in fear.

Speaking of which, all your element bearers are belong to us! That's right, they found me, and they're here with me now. Don't worry, they're fine, and while they'll still try to capture me, I'll be dumping them off when we reach port. You'll hear from them when they get to Ponyville, because against her better judgement, Twilight left Spike home AGAIN. Seriously, why does she cut herself off from her only lifeline if she get's in trouble she can't handle? I mean, she could just write you a letter telling you where we are, and you'd come and arrest us, but nooooo, she has to do things the hard way. Can you please talk some sense into her?

Also, I really am an alien. There are actually a couple of us running around, having been changed into ponies, diamond dogs, griffins, and whatever else by Equestria's magic or something. One was brought here by Discord to cause chaos, but instead wound up playing hero and is surprisingly good at it. I don't know who sent me here, just some old guy.

Sincerely, Equestria's most wanted, Griffin.

Ps: Mayor Frost Snap is a dick. Endangering the entire village he's in charge of to try and get a revenge he enacted long ago on a diamond dog, (Echo) who's only crime was trying to help? He's got more screws loose than I do. Hopefully I gave him a bit of humility.

I sent the letter off, then walked out of my room and knocked on Twilight's door.

"Yeah, hold on, I'm coming." She opened it up.

"Oh, um, hello.... how can I help you?" She asked nervously, seeing that I was far taller than her.

"What's the matter? Don't you recognize me? For shame Twilight." At hearing my voice, her pupils turned to pinpricks.

"What, cat got your tongue? Or should I say, griffin?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Then... you really are....." She just stared. I snickered.

"Yep."

"So, you weren't lying."

"Nope."

"And you're not crazy."

"Jury's still out on that one." I chuckled.

For a couple minutes, she just stood there, looking me over. My brown hair, blue eyes, Red and black shirt, jeans, shoes, my stature and form. I snapped my fingers, bringing her to attention again.

"Oh, huh? Sorry."

"Well, as much as I'd like to stand here and let you gawk at me while making mental notes, we'd better get back before Rainbow and AJ think I've kidnapped you or something, and come down here to beat me up." I went into my room, closed the door, and as quickly as I could, removed the amulet, said 'Reverti' and replaced it, then put on my armor and weapons.

"Alright, let's go." I began walking, and she just stayed where she was.

"Why?" She asked.

"Why what?"

"Why did you show me that?"

"Simple. We're the same. And no, I don't mean species or goals, I mean personality. We're both excellent planners, it's how I got this far, we have a hunger for knowledge, and a nasty case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Everything has to be just so or we freak out. We try to control every aspect of our lives, plan for every possible outcome. You a bit more so than I, as I know how to be spontaneous as well, as I proved with Pinkie during that improvisation, which, by the way, you should definitely work with Rarity and Fluttershy to make a romance novel out of. The fact is, if I were in your position, not knowing whether or not a being not native to this universe was standing right in front of me would drive me insane. So, I spared you the self doubt. What? I'm not heartless." Then I continued walking. She gave a warm smile, then instead of walking behind me to make sure I didn't try anything, walked next to me.

"So, the reason you ran into your room and closed the door was you didn't want me to see your magic?"

"You got it."

"Aww, why not?" She pouted.

"Again, if you figured out how it works, then knowing you, brilliant as you are, you'd find a way to use it against me. Let's not forget, I'm still a pirate, and you're still a pirate hunter. We're technically enemies, so despite us being pleasant with each other, eventually, when we reach port, you're going to try to capture me, and I'm going to try to escape. I don't want to give you any more information than I have to."

"It's a shame, under different circumstances, we'd be friends....."

"Yeah, we could spend all day going over magical theory, I'd probably be famous at the Canterlot institute or academy or whatever. Finding a way to let pegasi, earth ponies, and even griffins and diamond dogs, use magic, I'd have worldwide renown. How about this, if you capture me, I'll spend as much time as you want explaining it to you from prison, sound fair?" She giggled.

"Deal."

"So, let me get this straight, more than a million times the information held in the Canterlot library, and you can access any amount of it, anytime you want?"

"Yep, all from something that fits in your hoof."

"No sorting or filing, and it's brought to the exact page, paragraph, sentence, all in order of relevance to what you searched?"

"That's right, except that ANYONE can put stuff in there, and despite having unlimited capacity, the majority of it is stuff you'd only find if you opened up Discord's head."

"Why's that?"

"That's because despite not having magic of any kind, we're more chaotic than draconnequines. Discord actually came to my world before yours, and he couldn't do anything. Anytime he tried causing chaos, nothing would happen because it was already too chaotic. He enjoyed it, then decided he wanted to cause chaos instead of finding a pile of it to roll in, so he found your world and started wrecking havoc."

"So, THAT'S why your world is like the Everfree forest, animals taking care of themselves and clouds moving all on their own. It sounds awful."

"The thing is, we're the weakest creature in our weight class. No fangs, claws, poison, or defenses of any kind. We had to become cruel and cunning to survive. Now the world changed, and it was no longer needed, but we haven't gotten rid of it yet, and we never will."

"Why?"

"Because, people are cruel to each other, and so to survive, you have to become the same way. I didn't, so it was hell for me.... or, Tartarus, as you ponies would say. I won't go into detail, because I already told enough of the specifics to Rarity. But, that's why I'm trying so hard, breaking the rules, not letting anything stand in my way. Because, this world is amazing, but there's a part of it that's broken and needs fixing. Nobody else is going to do it, so I am. I hope I can pull it off, because griffins don't have another thousand years."

"Huh?"

"7000 living free, dwindling due to hunger, sickness, and being eaten by dragons, manticores, whatever. Who knows how many in captivity? The mortality rate is high, and the birth rate is near nonexistent. By my guess, ten, twenty years tops, before griffins go extinct. Since most animals get taken care of around here, there are no endangered species problems, and since griffins aren't animals as much as people, they don't fit the bill. Disturbing that nobody knows about this. Ignorance is the problem. One day, a species just blinks out of existence, and nobody would know till it's too late to do anything about it. Promise me this, if I fail, you'll spread awareness. Ponies are good natured. If enough of them stand up to do something about it, they might actually change it. That way, even if I die or spend the rest of my life behind bars, I'll have succeeded."

"Okay. I promise."

"Good, now let's get you back to your friends."

"Ooh ooh! Maybe, maybe he's an octopus alien like the ones I see in the comics from Japony."

"NO! And why are you reading those things?" Rarity asked, disturbed by the mental image.

"They're interesting!"

"Hah! I never thought someone like YOU would be into pontai." Gilda laughed at the apparently perverse pink party pony.

'I've seen enough My Little Pony to know where this is going....... what is wrong with my brain?'

"Well, you're back. Took you long enough." Dash tapped her hoof impatiently.

"Yeah, I ended up showing Twilight what I look like, and we talked for a bit, so it took a little longer than we thought."

"So then, is he?" Applejack began.

"Yes AJ, he's an alien."

"OOH! Does he have tentacles?" Pinkie piped up.

"No, I look like Nadene, no fur, no tail."

"We were just having fun letting her guess." Maria, who had become a bit more sociable, stated.

"Well, now that that's taken care of, I suggest we settle in. We'll be pleasant with each other till we reach port in a week, and then we'll fight or whatever. So, anybody got a deck a cards?"

Just as Pinkie pulled a deck out of nowhere, which earned her a thoughtful glare from Twilight, who then dismissed it as just Pinkie being Pinkie, an alarm began to blare, making her drop them.

"All hands, battle stations! Inbound targets from the south. Total count, six. Prepare to raise the deck!"

I looked out the back of the deck, still able to see the Volcanic Wastes on the horizon, with a number of black specks slowly getting larger as they approached.

'Big, fast, flying things coming from the south. The sun is shining off the ship, making us a beacon for dragons! Good thing I got my sword charged. I'll have to drink dragon blood while I'm out there.'

"All of you, get to your rooms. This place is going to get busy in a sec. Trix, get on. Gilda, Nadene, your bows will be useless out there, stay with the ship and direct the crew. You six, get to the bridge, you can watch the action from there. Etch, Growl, keep them safe. If Steelhorn tries to kick you out, tell him I told you to go there. Go!" All did as they were told, except Twilight and Shimmer, who stayed behind to ask,

"What's going on?"

"Shimmer, remember the dragon your mom fought?" She thought for a sec and then started crying. The unicorn suddenly realized what I meant.

"How many?" Twilight asked.

"Six, maybe more."

"Sweet Celestia, just one of them took down the ship we arrived on."

"And now, you're about to see why I am Equestria's most wanted. Shimmer, go with Twilight to the bridge, you'll be safe there. I've got dragons to kill."

I dove out of the ship right before it sealed itself shut. I flew around to the back of it as it came about, it's cannons popping out of the side, preparing to meet the attack head on. I looked back to see the mane six and Shimmer on the other side of the glass, with Steelhorn in the captain's chair, wearing a Napoleon hat and smoking a pipe. The ponies and dragon looked worried, while the minotaur looked stern. Hovering between the gleaming airship Possibility, and six approaching dragons who were now visible, a full two rows of cannons behind me, pointing out of their hatches, ready to open up on the armored lizards once they got in range, I drew my blade and held it at my side, brought it around, and swung it forward to face the approaching threat.

"Here there be dragons..... HAVE AT YE!"

Rampage (36)

Rampage

"Six dragons, I've got my initial sword charge, so once that's spent, I'll have to try and either bite them, or you'll have to give me the emergency vial so I can recharge it. I don't need to kill them, just take one of their wings off. They'll be focused on the ship, which will be hammering them with cannon fire, so, we just need to go invisible, get behind, and chop their wings off. They'll fall into the ocean. Got it Trix? The ship can take a few hits, and we'll have the first dragon down before they know we've started."

"Al... alright." She was clearly scared. I wonder why I'm not? I should be out of my mind right now. If I can't do this, I'm dead, and so are Gilda, Nadene, Maria, Etch, Growl, Shimmer, Trixie, the mane six, and my whole tribe. Wait, I know why! Because they survive! I've seen an episode that happened after this, and they were all fine.

"Hey Trix, do you trust me?" She nodded, then gulped.

"You trust me?" She asked in turn. I nodded as well.

"Then was are we waiting for!" The two of us yelled.

"Keep your head down, be ready with the invisibility, we'll get through this. Are you ready?"

"Yes, let's do this, and show the world what we're made of."

"Then hold on tight. URRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

We charged, blade at my side, glowing softly, Trixie's horn shining as we barreled towards the dragons, and all at once, disappeared from view.

'Green, Red, Blue, Red, Yellow, Purple. Six dragons, there's the first one. They don't know we're here.'

"Lacero!"

We came back into view as the green dragon's right wing came off by my sword. I grabbed hold of the stump and bit into it, letting the sour taste fill my mouth before dismounting the soon to be swimming serpent. The first red dragon spotted us and took a deep breath.

"Protego!"

The dragon flames washed over us, although we weren't affected at all. We may as well have been made of iron. It was a little toasty, but no damage at all. Flying out of the stream of flame, we circled around, getting behind the dragon and grabbing hold. It tried for a moment to shake us off before I drove my blade through it's scales and into it's spine. It went limp, then began to fall. The sharpness spell wore off with my sword in it's back.

"Trix! The sword is stuck! Help me pull!"

"Magic won't work on it remember?"

"Damn it!" We spun around as we tumbled towards the wide blue beneath, trying desperately to dislodge the dragon slaying blade from the deceased's spine.

The sword came loose with the help of another dragon, who had grabbed hold of both me and it in one of it's claws. It began to squeeze, forcing the air out of my lungs. With my last gasp, I was able to mutter 'Lacero' and swing the sword, slicing the dragon's claw off. More blood. Sword recharged, I cast the spell again and rammed it right into the blue dragon's chest, then pulled it out before the enchantment wore off. It tried to cover the spot where I can stabbed it's heart with it's stump, but even with a hand, it wouldn't have been able to stop the inevitable. It fell to the ocean below, causing the crystal blue waters to be stained black with it's dead blood. The green dragon had swam to it's corpse and was using it as a raft to try and rest, but it was too heavy. It sank and drowned, then, in death, bloated and floated up to the surface.

The three other dragons had flown past, and were now in range of the Possibility, which opened fire. The rumble of cannons discharging their loads filled the air, as well as a roar from the second red dragon, who had taken three cannonballs to the forehead at point blank range. He faltered and fell, then regained his bearings and flew back up. The yellow and purple dragons had grabbed either end of the ship and were trying to pull it apart, with limited success. Then they began rocking it, trying to throw those inside off balance.

"They can't hit the dragons, they're defenseless!" Trixie cried out.

"I'm going, I'm going! Accelero!" I flew far faster than I normally could, Charging my sword as I went, I crashed into the purple dragon's head with the flat of my blade first, stunning it and making it let go.

"Lacero!"

A downwards vertical slash, splitting the dragon's head in two. As it fell, Trixie took to magically pulling the blood into my mouth in a thick red stream.

"That only works if it's alive! Good idea though! We'll do it on the next one!"

Invisible again, I circled around and severed both of the red dragon's wings with a double horizontal cut, sending it plummeting to the sea below. Trixie did as she did before, bringing the stream to my mouth.

"Good, just one more, the yellow one. Oh crap!" I was at the back of the ship, while it was at the front. It was spewing flame right at the bridge.

I took off towards the front of the ship. Flames washing over it, I used protego, 'protect' to fly right through the stream of fire and smash the dragon's nose with the flat of my blade. This made it back up and stop trying to fry the passengers. It flew backwards a fair ways, then began to charge towards the front of the ship. It was going to ram it. I'm not sure exactly how hard it's shell is, but there's only a reinforced glass pane in front of the bridge. It would send deadly glass shards throughout the entire room it it collided. I was already exhausted from casting so many spells, I could barely fly. I started to topple a bit, but was held upright in a purple glow. I turned behind me to see Twilight, standing on the bridge, holding me up.

"Trix, blood and a blue one."

She passed me both vials, which I drank. The dragon was accelerating. I focused as hard as I could on the sword, charging it fully three times.

"Accelero! Protego! Lacero!" Speed, protect, cut. Looking behind, there was now a purple shield at the front of the ship, to guard it against the dragon's impact. The deck was being lowered. I dove at the last dragon, yellow, coming from the west with the setting sun, mouth agape, ready to bite into the Possibility when it collided.

"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I flew as fast as I could, my speed enhanced by the spell, sword at my side, humming as it split the air, and the edge spanning the dragon's mouth. He blew flames at me, which had no effect due to my protect spell. I dove right into them and I cut that bastard in two, separating his top half from his bottom, tip to tail. The bottom half fell away, below the ship, while the top collided with it, bouncing off Twilight's shield with a thud, making it shatter, but having done it's job nonetheless. The top fell into the ocean with the rest of it. I flicked the blood off my sword by swinging it to the side, then placed it in it's hilt. Trixie had fallen asleep on my back. Such rapid invisibility spells, trying to keep me steady, moving dragon blood around for me to drink, she had worn herself out.

"Hey, let's get you back to the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiip." Then as my adrenaline wore off, my wings just stopped moving. I closed my eyes, and let myself fall into the ocean below.

"Hey, he's waking up." A voice in the dark. My eyelids shuddered, opening only to be burned by the bright light before closing them again. Everything was hazy. As I tried to get up, I felt myself being pushed back down.

"Whoa, hey now, just lay there, you need your rest....."

"But I, ship, crew, dragons....."

"Shh shh, it's all okay. Everything is fine...." A soft voice, then gentle nuzzling on my face. I opened my eyes, slowly this time, to see Fluttershy right next to me, and the rest of the mane six and my crew in what looked to be a hospital room, with me lying in the bed.

"Well well, welcome back....... Don't ever scare me like that again!" Gilda dove at me and wrapped her arms around me, crying onto my shoulder.

"I thought I lost you........"

"Oh, hey....... so, did we win?" She backed up to look at me, my eyes slightly unfocused.

"Yes, you won, two days ago. You've been asleep for a whole day."

"Sorry I worried ya.... just had to........ save ship.... no big deal......."

"No big deal? Dude! You just wiped the floor with SIX full grown dragons!" Rainbow Dash started gushing.

"I have to say, you were in a dreadful state afterwards, drenched in blood and seawater. You fell into the ocean after you passed out. It took Gilda, Maria, and Rainbow Dash to fish you out. Luckily, they got to you in time before you sank." Rarity stated.

"And you almost fried yourself! Using spells like that, one after another! You're lucky you don't have brain damage!" Twilight scolded. As the studious element of magic who often burns herself out, she knows all about magic exhaustion and how to lessen it's effects.

"Oh, you just kept throwing up and shaking. Seizures nonstop for the first hour. It was so scary." Fluttershy peeped. If Twilight, who is so well learned and skilled that she could technically be a doctor for magic related illness, and nurse Fluttershy, had to work on me near nonstop for the past two days just so my head wouldn't explode...... how bad was I? Still feels like it might.

"Even ah ain't never overworked myself like that before. What the hay got into you?" Applejack asked.

"Couldn't just let the ship go down, could I?"

"No, I suppose not." Rarity added.

"Where's Trixie?"

"She's fine. She wasn't injured, just exhausted from overworking herself with those spells. The whole time, she kept making you invisible, keeping you steady, making your turns sharper with telekinesis, trying to hold you up when you passed out. She's talented, but she doesn't have nearly as much magic endurance as I do, so she fell asleep. She's up now, taking a shower I think." Twilight explained.

"It's good.... that she's.... okay...... Everyone is okay?"

"Yes, everyone is okay. Thanks to you you big knuckle head. Gilda was looking at me with happy tears. She wrapped her arms around me again while I lay in bed and just stayed like that for a while, until her stomach grumbled and ruined the moment.

"Eh, we'll.... um... go up on the top deck and eat sumthin." Applejack stated before ushering the group out. Shimmer was sleeping soundly at the foot of my bed. So now, only myself, the young dragon, and Twilight remained in the room.

"I have to say, that was impressive. I don't understand how you did it, but it has something to do with that sword. It's also bad for your health. You used WAAAAAY too much magic for someone who's not meant to have it, and who hasn't practiced with using it. You have to build something like that up slowly, not just use it all at once, or you'll hurt yourself. Even after we got you out of the ocean, you almost died."

"Yeah, and that just serves as a perfect example. I need to do things I shouldn't be able to, so I have to break the rules. One does not simply kill six dragons and walk away unscathed. I'm no Princess Celestia or Luna. So, considering that I'm bedridden for now, this would be the perfect opportunity to arrest me."

"Really? No. You should have seen it when they dragged you on board. Covered in blood and sea water, even unconscious, everypony was afraid of you. That, and your 'crew' is much bigger than the eight of you. You've got almost forty cats here too. There was never a chance of us catching you. Right from the start, we were in way over our heads."

"Coming from Celestia's prized pupil, wow. I never thought I'd see that day when you admitted there was something you couldn't handle. *Burp* Oh, hey, letters. Mind opening them? I kind of can't right now."

Dear Griffin the griffin,

Betsy! No! The temple was locked for a purpose! Why did you kill my beloved pet? It saddens me that I am no longer 'best pony', however if I am to be out done, I am glad it is Twilight Sparkle who has taken that position. It is good to know that Echo is not a part of your crew, as we intend to reward him for his efforts in saving Wethoof, and it would not due for him to be a wanted criminal.

Sincerely, Princess Luna.

"And the second one?"

Dear Griffin the griffin,

I swear, if any harm comes to my little ponies, you shall pay dearly. I am not to be trifled with, and while merciful, I will not be should my student or any of her friends come to danger. You have been warned. It is also disturbing to know that several inhabitants of this world are not who they appear to be. You, as well as Echo, whom we theorize must also be one of your kind due to the fact that he is highly sophisticated, a trait unheard of in diamond dogs. Who else do you know of who is not of this world?

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

"Well, someone's got her knickers in a knot. Quill?" She passed me a paper and parchment, wondering what 'knickers' were.

Dear Princess Celestia,

There's no need for such hostility. I couldn't hurt them if I tried, it's not in my capabilities. In fact, I spent the better half of the day being nursed back to health by them, after I risked my life to save theirs, so stuff it okay? She's here, right next to me, stop worrying so much. I told you before, they'll be fine. She's going to write the next part.

Hello Princess, it's me, Twilight. I am in good health, we all are, thanks to Griffin. He stood alone against six full grown dragons to protect us, and won. As such, he is currently beyond our capabilities to capture, and we are giving up the chase. We will return to Ponyville, where I will write to you again. I cannot tell you were we are, or else he won't send the letter, for fear of you coming after him.

See? She's fine. Quit worrying so much. You've got enough on your mind running a country, doing a fine job at that, you don't need to get stressed out over nothing. And Luna, spiders are evil, I killed your pet because it was trying to eat me. Don't raise monsters.

Sincerely, Griffin.

"Alright, Twilight, since you're not chasing us anymore, I suppose I can show you one spell."

"REALLY?" She began hopping around excitedly.

"Pass me that gem lamp will you?"

"Why, I mean, how can that help with magic?"

"Submitto ad Celestia."

The letter vanished, and she went wide eyed.

"What did you do?"

"Well, non unicorns don't have enough magical ability to cast spells, so either by having a unicorn give a gem a blank charge, or by doing it ourselves, which takes a lot longer, we can build up the necessary magic level to cast a spell, which is directed through a combination of intent and spoken word. That's all I'm going to tell you. Don't want to take the fun of it away. As for my sword, it acts the same way, but it only works with me. Not going to tell you why, but that's basically why I nearly fried my brains. I had to use a LOT of spells out there."

Shimmer woke up with a yawn, then turned to look at me, still awake, and Twilight.

"Hey sleepy head. Thanks for keeping me company."

"No problem. After all, you took care of those mean dragons. The yellow one...... he was the one who......." Tears started to well up in her eyes again. I grabbed her and held her close.

"Shh shh, no need for tears. He's gone. He can never hurt anyone ever again. Cheer up okay? As long as you've got me, Gilda, Nadene, Trixie, Maria, Etch, and Growl, nothing bad can happen to you. We'll take care of you, after all, what's family for?" She hugged me tight before backing away, wiping the tears from her eyes, and smiling.

"Alright Shimmer, go up to the top deck and get something to eat, I'll be up shortly."

"Okay." She jumped off the bed and walked to the door.

"Are you and Miss Sparkle friends now?" Her question took me off guard.

"Yes, I suppose we are."

"And he was all like *Whoosh!*" Pinkie began, throwing her front hooves around in dramatic motions.

"And then he was all, YEEAAARRRGGG!" Dash added, swinging a sword made out of clouds, which poofed on Pinkie's head.

"And then he was all invisible! And they were like, 'where'd he go?', and then he was like, 'Right behind you' and then *Bam!*" Pinkie continued.

"And then the yellow one was all, 'No you don't', but he was all, 'Oh yeah?' and then he cut it in half!"

"Hey, did I miss something?" I ask as I step onto the deck. Everything went quiet except for Fluttershy, who let out an 'eep'.

"What? Come on, I'm not that scary, am I? I even took a shower, so I'm not covered in blood and grime anymore."

"Well, um, alright. Come and sit. And, Ahm sorry for bein so hard on ya before. I thought you were just lyin through yer teeth about everythin, but, seeing you out there yesterday, I know ah was wrong." Applejack apologized.

"Ah, don't worry about it. If I was in your position, I'd have probably thought the same way. But enough about that, I'm starved! Which one of you do I get to eat first?" I was met by blank stares of horror, you know, when you're too afraid to do anything, even move your face, so your mouth just hangs open.

"JOKING. Alright, let's see, cinderfruit, yummy." I sat and began to eat one of the round, green fruits. They actually taste like a mix of lemon and cinnamon. Equestria has the strangest fruits, well, in the jungle at least.

"That wasn't funny." Dash scowled.

"Oh well. Anyway, my head doesn't feel like it's got a nail it in anymore, but I should probably rest for another day before I go dragon slaying again." Some drinks were spat out, and I just earned myself some glares.

"What do you mean.... again?" Rarity asked.

"Well, first there was a big black one, then there was the one that attacked the villages, then there were these six, so, my total count is at eight. Probably gonna happen again. I just hope it isn't soon."

"Well well, tha fearless leader is back up and about now is e? That was a fine job ya did takin care o those pests. I know she's tough, but against six dragons, we woulda been sunk if it weren't fer you. You've saved me ship, and fer that, I feel I owe ya a little somthin, even if ya were just in it fer yerself." Steelhorn passed me a set of rainbow scale mail, red at the front, the largest area, changing colours on bands as it went down the length, made of none other than scales. It covers the entire body except the head, paws, and claws, but it goes all the way up the neck. It covered the leading edge of the wings, down to the tips so I wouldn't have my wings cut off.

"What? How?"

"I fished the dragon's bodies out of the sea, stripped off tha scales. Red, yellow, green, blue, purple. Shimmer here helped me forge it. She's got a good set of lungs on her, the flames really helped. I used the measurements from yer old armor, making a few additions. Now it's magic resistant." He patted the little dragon on the head.

"So, that's what you two were up to yesterday that got Shimmer so tuckered out."

"I wanted it to be a surprise, and to say thanks, for, you know, giving me a family again." She said meekly.

"Well, you're welcome." I put it on. It was easy to move in, not heavy at all, durable, magic resistant, and judging by the look in Rarity's eye, fucking gorgeous.

"I love it."

"It's fantastic!" The fashionista unicorn declared dramatically. "One of a kind, stylish, functional! Oh, what I would give to have something like that in my showcase! The customers it would attract....."

"It was fun to make. Mr. Steelhorn showed me how. He says I was really helpful." Shimmer said with pride.

"Well then, considering the fact that I KNOW you have more scales than what it took to make this, how's about this Shimmer, you and Steelhorn make one for each of my crew? Would you like that?"

"Oh really? Yay! Can we? Can we? Please?" She turned to the minotaur and gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"Ya dastardly pirate, using the kid to rope me into doin it without pay...... oh alright! Besides, it's not often I get to make such fine craftsmanship. On one condition, the little dragon becomes my apprentice."

I looked to Shimmer, who was absolutely giddy. Gilda, who gave a nod, and everyone else, who gave a smile.

"Mr. Steelhorn, you've got yourself a deal."

Farewell (37)

Farewell

Once I was once again in private with Twilight, she started again.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"Are they about magic?"

"No."

"Go ahead."

"What did Princess Luna mean when she said I had taken her place as 'Best Pony'?" I started to giggle.

"It's an alien thing. You see, well, okay, promise not to tell anyone? Seriously, if anyone else knows about this, it could spell ruin."

"Um, alright?" She replied nervously.

"You're a celebrity in my world. All six of you, and the princesses."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, I knew about you long before I came here. Lots of us do, although we didn't know it was real. We thought it was fiction. Anyway, fans have their favorite characters, and a lot of them argue and debate the merits of each. The phrase, (X) is best pony, is basically used as a way to declare who your favorite is. I happened to like Luna. She's no stranger to misery, and despite that, she works for a better tomorrow. Well, she WAS my favorite, until I learned that she had a pet spider."

"And that's a problem because?"

"Spiders are evil."

"You're afraid of spiders?"

"They're evil little demons, straight from the pits of Tartarus! There was one that was at least sixty feet long, and had fangs the size of my sword! It was her pet from a thousand years ago, although it was much smaller back then. Anyway, you can't tell the other's, or they'll be looking over their shoulders all the time. Fluttershy would feel like she was always being watched, and Dash would become even more of a showoff."

"I understand. So then, I'm your new favorite now?"

"Yep! Don't you just feel awesome?" She started to blush.

"Okay, and, I've been hearing a lot about this 'Echo', who is he?"

"Echo is a not-diamond dog, in the same way that I'm a not-griffin. He also happens to be a fan of you girls. Luna is his favorite. Anyway, he showed up in the jungle within a day, ahead or behind, of me showing up in the badlands. Instead of a griffin, he became an alpha diamond dog. Then he went around playing hero. Saved Daring Do, killed Ahuizotl, met Disarray, and saved Wethoof."

"Wow, sounds like he's been, busy. Wait, who's Disarray?" She asked.

"Well, all that stuff about Discord visiting my world, well, Echo is the human he brought here to cause chaos. He knew you were gonna beat him, so that was his last ditch plan, but it failed. Anyway, Disarray is a draconnequuis alicorn hybrid. He's the son of Discord and Princess Celestia......" Twilight just stood there for a second, listening to everything I had said, before her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out. I carried her to the deck to her friends, and explained that she geeked out so much she passed out.

"Ugh, what a nightmare, you were talking about Discord and......"

"It was real Twilight, Disarray is the son of Celestia and Discord. Before he went on a rampage, they were in love, did the.... do wah diddy, as it were, and she had a son. He can take the form of either a draconnequuis or an alicorn like the princesses. When Discord went wild, he tried to stop him, and got locked up for two thousand years. Echo found him and freed him, so now he tags along with them."

All the ponies just looked at me, trying to imagine their princess and the fiend being together, and all of them getting woozy at the thought.

"Ya know how farfetched that sounds?" Applejack asked me.

"Well, he's the news article, with photo."

I pulled out the page from the post that was in the bar, showing them all. Tythus, Echo with his spear, Ginger Snap, Daring Do, and then the winged unicorn stallion standing next to them.

"See, that's him, right there, standing next to Daring."

"So, let me get this straight.... YOU met Daring Do?" Dash asked.

"Yep. You jealous? She actually looks just like you RD, except with a different colour scheme. Tan instead of cyan, and grey instead of rainbow. In a black and white photo, you could be mistaken for her. She's got the same attitude problems you do too." Rainbow crossed her forelegs and began grumbling about not having an attitude problem, but then Pinkie piped up.

"HEY! I just remembered! Griffy's all better, and we're friends now, and I never got to do it before, so you know what this calls for?"

"A party, without pranks this time......" Gilda suggested.

"A PARTY!"

Meanwhile, In Canterlot

"Come on, he would have written a reply by now..... and here it is."

Dear Princess Celestia,

There's no need for such hostility. I couldn't hurt them if I tried, it's not in my capabilities. In fact, I spent the better half of the day being nursed back to health by them, after I risked my life to save theirs, so stuff it okay? She's here, right next to me, stop worrying so much. I told you before, they'll be fine. She's going to write the next part.

"Sister, what does stuff it mean?" Luna asked.

"He's telling me to fill my mouth with anything from pie to an old sock so I can't talk. He has literally NO repsect for us." Celestia scowled.

Hello Princess, it's me, Twilight. I am in good health, we all are, thanks to Griffin. He stood alone against six full grown dragons to protect us, and won. As such, he is currently beyond our capabilities to capture, and we are giving up the chase. We will return to Ponyville, where I will write to you again. I cannot tell you were we are, or else he won't send the letter, for fear of you coming after him.

Celestia and Luna spat out their tea, then just looked at each other in awe.

"Well, that IS my student's writing style, it's good to know she's alright but, that doesn't seem right. Six?" The older pondered.

"That is what it says." The younger replied.

"Then he is far more dangerous then I imagined. No wonder they gave up trying to capture him. After a display like that, only one of us, or the combined elements of harmony, would be able to stand against such a force. He must be captured at any cost. The problem is, I have no idea where he is."

See? She's fine. Quit worrying so much. You've got enough on your mind running a country, doing a fine job at that, you don't need to get stressed out over nothing. And Luna, spiders are evil, I killed your pet because it was trying to eat me. Don't raise monsters.

Sincerely, Griffin.

"So much for no respect." Luna stated plainly.

"He's afraid.... I understand now, he's afraid. He's playing it cool, but in reality, he DREADS the fact that my student is with him, because that means by association, so am I. He's being very nice to all of them, because he fears retribution from me. Then he throws the first compliment that I have ever gotten from him out there, just for good measure. He did agree with me on a couple points though. For one, he thinks it's foalish that Twilight left Spike home, and two, spiders really are nasty little things." Celestia took a deep breath then let it out.

"Well, at least I know they're safe, that's a load of worry off my mind. It's just been so much lately. Discord escaping, the Wethoof thing, although that was solved by Echo, and now my student and her friends being rescued from dragons, six of them. It makes me wonder, are these 'aliens' perhaps here to help us? While he is a criminal, Griffin only lashed out at those who wronged him. The guards in Stalliongrad, who tried to take his weapon for bits, Frost Snap, who endangered an entire village by trying to kill it's saviour, both of which he only injured minimally. Then, if his claim of discovering magic is true..... I still don't know what his goal is. I suppose my student will have some insights into that when she returns. Hold on, I need to change the wanted poster."

Wanted- ALIVE, Griffin the griffin, 4000 bits. While a criminal, he possesses information vital to the future of Equestria, and is not to be harmed. Caution is advised, as is known to have slain dragons on several occasions. Extremely dangerous and unpredictable. Abilities unknown.

"There, now I'll just send this out to every mail station, and we're set."

"You really should relax a bit sister. He has only killed in self defense at this point, and to rescue others. He would not harm them. Perhaps he is not as mysterious as previously thought."

"Well, I suppose this calls for a celebration. Another four days till we reach port, plenty of food, some new armor on it's way, enemies became friends. Ah, who am I kidding, let's party."

"But, I, don't have any party supplies, other than what I packed, and I used those a while ago....."

"Well, that's alright. It can be more of a relaxed party then. Say, does anyone have some tea?"

"You're joking, you drink tea?" Gilda scoffed.

"But of course my dear, it helps to relax at the end of the day, and clears the mind of worry." I say in a high class tone, which just brings laughter to everyone else. Fluttershy pulls out some herbal blends, which both the crew and mane six enjoy considerably. It's night, Gilda and Shimmer go to bed, as does Maria. Nadene, Twilight, Dash, Fluttershy, Selma, and Tiras join us out on the deck for some stargazing. It's not very good, since there's a massive armored balloon above us, but we can still see what's on the horizons.

"Oh, I forgot. Everyone, this is Selma, or Elder. She's the leader of the former Lemko tribe, and this is Tiras, the chief of the former Romak tribe. They're natives of the jungle." The ponies looked at the hag of the woman, and graceful man who almost moved like a snake would. Then they looked behind them, to see several of the cats on the deck, training, going over the motions of stabbing, blocking, and shooting bows. We had replaced their old weapons with scale spears for medium range, and bone swords for close. The bows were made of horn and dragon tendon. They also practiced formations unarmed, two groups clashing with each other and beating each other to a pulp. The flying V, flanking maneuvers, the works. Etch and Growl were directing them.

"They really work hard, don't they? Even at this late hour, they're still up and about." Twilight remarked.

"They're all from warrior tribes. It's their pride. That, and we're somewhat nocturnal." Nadene pointed out.

"So then, what's your role in all this? What position do you play?"

"Oh, I'm a potion maker. I don't know enough to be a doctor, but my village makes the best remedies in the jungle, maybe even the world, and my father was the chief. He was the best of the best, and taught me everything I know. Other than that, stealth. I'm fast, silent, and can get around obstacles the others can't. I ride on Maria when we need to travel, but when fighting, she stays behind."

"Yeah, she doesn't seem so tough." Rainbow said.

"Well, what do you expect? She's just a kid. She's full grown, but not quite mature yet. I've been teaching her how to hold her own. She probably won't see the front lines though. She and Shimmer are the kids of the group, we do what we can to protect them, and they're useful in their own ways."

"Yep, Shimmer is my best friend, because she's not afraid of spiders and is a source of fire for burning the vicious little....." I stop when I realize Fluttershy isn't very happy with the way I'm talking about spiders.

"Anyway, I'd rather not have something with eight legs, three times the size of a bunny, and venomous as a manticore crawling around on me, so fire becomes highly important. Webs are sticky, and you can't cut them. You have to burn them."

"Oh, oh my.... something that size could..... Angel bunny....." The yellow pegasus suddenly looked worried.

"Well, they're only found in the jungle, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Hey guys, nice work, looking good. Wrap it up. We're headed off to bed. We gotta be up early tomorrow for more practice. Gotta be ready for anything."

The rest of the week went by without incident. We arrived at Bitsburg, where we docked. I spotted the 'Hindentanic' off the bow. It was bigger than the 'Possibility', but our ship was by far more brilliant. Rarity seemed to be smitten with it.

"You like the look of it?"

"But of course, Equestria's most luxurious airship. On board spa facilities, five star hotel, and unsinkable. It's getting ready for a round trip over the Ring Sea."

"Yeah, you wouldn't catch me on that death trap."

"Do you know much of airships?"

"Only that the Hindenburg and Titanic were two of the largest, most opulent methods of travel to ever exist, and both ended in disaster. There is such a thing as 'too big'. Then again, things like that don't happen in Equestria, it's probably nothing. Just me being paranoid."

"You remind me of Twilight, always worrying."

"Tell me about it."

"See ya around." Rainbow flew off, glad to finally be off the ship. While she could fly around all she wanted, she couldn't just land anywhere, and she was probably missing her cloud home.

"I best be gettin home, else Big Mac'll hurt himself on the farm. It's been, interestin, to say the least." Applejack departed.

"Well, thanks to you, I have a new area of study. I can't wait to get started! And now I know that there's a whole other world out there. I have loads I want to try out. I guess, I'll see you around?" Twilight offered.

"Yeah, see you around." Joke's on her, I never told her any of the words. She'll realize that when she gets home. I anticipate screaming.

"I got to throw you all a party! See? It wasn't so bad. And I got to make it up to you for last time. Come visit sometime!" Pinkie said as she skipped down the gang plank.

"I will." She stopped and turned to look at me.

"Promise?"

"You know I can't do that." She seemed a little sad, but kept smiling anyway.

"Well, it was..... nice..... meeting you...." Fluttershy squeaked.

"Oh! Hold on, I forgot, I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't do this."

"Huh?"

I walked up to Fluttershy calmly, and gave her a gentle hug. She seemed surprised, then returned it.

"Wow, you really are soft." I thought for a second, then realized I wasn't the one who said it. She did.

"Yeah, so are you. Anyway, good luck out there. Oh, and don't let Angel push you around so much."

"Wait, what? How do you know about...."

"See ya!" I then flew back onto the ship and smiled.

We stayed docked for another day, as Steelhorn went into town to pick of the things he needed for his new designs. I had made a couple suggestions to him, like having another gem which could be used to alter the hull, either using 'protego' to shield it, or 'obscuro' to make it invisible, but the power requirements meant that if we were to do either, we'd have to give up all movement and magical weapons systems. He agreed the idea had merit, but we'd need WAY more gems than we had and were affordable to pull it off.

"Well then, I guess after we reach our destination, you'll just have to stick around."

We set sail again the next morning, away from shore a bit, towards the zebrican isles. The Hindentanic also took off behind us, headed on it's round trip of the world. We travelled for about five minutes before the luxury cruise ship's balloon started to deflate, making it slowly drop into the ocean. They had life boats, and everyone seemed okay. I just laughed.

"Called it."

"Well, here we are, the first ever laser cannon, installed on the deck of the ship. A rotating platform, with a gem mounted on it in a mirror chamber. Pull the lever, it seals shut, and the fluid from the conduit runs over it, charging it. Keep it there for five seconds to give it a full charge, then move it to the neutral position for a second to let it drain. Say the magic word, light fills the chamber and builds in intensity. Nothing is lost because any light given off that bounces back into the gem just gets turned back into a charge, and is let out again. Then, to fire, pull the trigger to open the iris. Light flows through the lens into a beam. Move the lever the other way, and the lens moves out from in front, making it a spotlight. Make sure to let go of the trigger when switching between beam and light, or else you'll damage it, and don't point it at the ship. Since it can turn all the way around, we can shoot at targets in front, behind, or anywhere around. There's a built in safety mechanism that shuts the iris if it's pointed at the support pillars for the lower half of the ship." Steelhorn seemed proud. Shimmer seemed equally as proud, considering she helped with it. They both looked at their creation and beamed.

"Well then, I think we need a test fire. Maria, would you like to give it a whirl? This is a beam weapon, so it doesn't have any falloff due to gravity that cannons do. It goes where you aim it. Hmm, see that rocky outcropping over there?" I pointed to some rock formations coming out of the sea, signalling our approach to the zebra isles.

"Well, okay." Ste stepped up to the platform, putting her claws on the handles. Looking through the built in scope, she spotted the rocky outcrop and tensed up. She gently moved the device so she could see the single tree on the rocks. She held steady, then pulled the trigger for but an instant. She missed by a fair bit.

"Good shot, although it'll probably take a bit of getting used to." I encouraged.

"Mind if I try my hand?" Tiras asked.

"Go ahead."

He walked up to the gun mount, and instead of placing his weight on it as Maria needed to, he moved it gently and smoothly. Looking through the scope, he recharged it, then fired. The tree burst into flames.

"Excellent. You seem to have the knack for this."

"I was the chief of a tribe of rangers......"

"Of course, you're a master at the use of long range weapons. Well, looks like you've found your post. Good work." The black cat beamed. Maria however, was a little disappointed.

"Hey, don't be so down."

"I'm not good at anything!" She was almost in tears.

"Hey, that's not true. You just haven't found your special thing yet. You'll find something you're good at, something none of us can do, a unique way to help us all your own. I happen to know of three ponies who are doing the exact same thing right now, trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. Don't give up so easily, okay?"

"But, how am I supposed to figure it out?"

"Well, why don't you spend some time with Selma? She's old and wise, I'm sure she'll be able to help you figure out what you're good at."

"O, okay."

"Chin up kid, you'll figure it out."

"Well, there we go Steelhorn. We now have an anti ship weapon capable of firing anywhere on a horizontal area, 360 degrees, with four blind spots being the support pillars. Since it's a precision weapon, it has an extremely long range, and will mostly be used against other ships. Just pop their balloons. Cannons for siege, and the like. All it needs is a shield, and we've got ourselves a near unbeatable battleship. You've outdone yourself."

"Aye, I say this calls for a celebration! Everybody, meet below deck! We'll crack open the booze!" Gilda looked at me with a bit of a glare.

"Just one glass in celebration won't hurt, right?" Her gaze softened.

"Just one glass."

We headed down to the mess hall and into the wine cellar, although it housed far more than wine. Steelhorn opened the fridge, not the one that had the heads in it, that was elsewhere. Luckily, the ponies didn't find the bag of severed heads, and the minotaur was able to turn them, and all the gold we gave him, into bits which he had stashed away. No, he opened his 'special' fridge, the one containing all the alcohol.

"What the.... where's me scotch!" He bellowed.

"There, there's nothing here!" Nadene added.

"Why is the rum gone?" I asked in the classic Sparrow swagger.

Gilda walked over to the fridge and picked up something we didn't notice. A curly lock of pink hair that was stuck on the door. As soon as we saw it, we all yelled at the realization.

PINKIE PIE!!!!!!!

Dear Princess Celestia,

I've got a jar of dirt, can you guess what's inside it?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Ps: Twilight and them all arrived safely, just in time to watch the Hindentanic go down. What a waste of bits.

Gilda (38)

Gilda

So, I know you all want to know what happened during that week with the mane six on board. I didn't really go into it, because it was from Grif's POV, and it would be hella long. So, I'm making a couple chapters from the POV of each of the characters, in order to get you a little more familiar with them and add to the story. This first one is from the POV of Gilda.

'Dweebs. Dweebs. Dweebs. I can't wait for this week to be over so we can dump the pony parade off and get back to the way things used to be. I'm not too happy about it, but Grif wants us to get along, so, I guess I at least have to try. I still don't get what he finds so awesome about these six, but, he's in charge, and he knows what he's doing. I swear, if Pinkie or Dash try making fun of me, I'll throw them in the ocean at mach two. At least I have Shimmer, but she's a little young yet for me to talk to about problems like this.'

Looking around the main hall, I see the yellow and pink pegasus, with the big blue eyes. Fluttershy was it? Yeah.... Grif said I should talk to her. I don't really get it, I mean, she's timid all the time, she's like a mouse. No way she's cool. That and I have to apologize for Ponyville...... uuugh, let's just get this over with.

"Hey." She turns to look at me at takes a step back, her eyes are shaking. Yep, she remembers me. Why is she so afraid all the time? She looks like she just wants to run away, curl up in a ball and hide. Makes me sick. She should stand up for herself, otherwise she'll just keep getting pushed around.

"Listen, I'll say it once, so listen good, because I won't say it again. About Ponyville, when I yelled at you.... I'm sorry." Bleeeuurgh, I wanna puke. There, at least that's done with.

"Oh, um, okay....." What, that's it? She's not gonna ask why, or give me a hard time, she's just going to say it's done and over with? Oh well, not my problem. I said sorry, she forgave me, so it's over, right?

"It's just, I got so frustrated. I hadn't seen Dash in.... a long time. I just wanted to hang out with her a bit, and the pink one wouldn't leave us alone for even a second. I just wanted to catch up with an old friend, but.... it seems like her new friends were more important to her." What the hell am I doing? Stop! I don't need to explain myself to her! Just walk away! Why can't I walk away?

"So, I got upset, and blew up at the first thing to get in my way, and that was you, and it was wrong." Dumbass! Why can't I stop talking? She's so quiet, it makes an awkward silence, and I just can't shut up!

"Do you, want to go somewhere private to talk about it?" That's odd, she spoke. She's asking me to open up and talk about this? NO! It's not her problem! It's mine! I only ever told Grif, because he's the same! What would she know? I should tell her off and.... those eyes.... why can't I get mad enough to tell her to just take a hike? She's not looking down on me like everyone else...... she, genuinely cares? Why? All I ever did is yell at her, why does she want to talk to me.

They wondered what made you so angry, what made you be like that. They wanted to know your hidden pain and take it away. Grif's words echoed through my head. So that's it. While he didn't know any of them, and his life was hell because of that, there are those who care. They exist to heal.... and she's one of them. Even now, I'm just sitting here, having an inner monologue, and instead of asking me again, she's just waiting patiently for my answer.

"I mean, it's okay if you don't want to.... I mean.. um.. eep!" She backed away. Now she feels like she's overstepped a boundary. She's shaking again, probably afraid that I'll get mad. Stop it, hey, don't do that. Now I feel guilty. Damn it.

"Fine. Let's go." She stopped quivering, looked up, and began to follow me. Shimmer is with the minotaur, so, it'll just be us.

Once in my room, I closed the door and laid down on the bed.

"Just, make yourself comfortable." She looked around, trying to make sure she didn't step on anything, before she sat on the floor.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, um, nothing really... um... you can start." She looked around nervously, and seemed to shrink when she saw my bow and arrow set in the corner. She opted to not look at anything, just sitting there with a blank look on her face, her mane hiding her right eye. I lay on my back on the bed for a couple minutes, silent, before taking a picture frame from my pack. I hadn't shown it to anyone, not even Grif. It was.... my family.

"Um, what is that? Oh, um, if you don't mind telling..... me.... that.. is....."

"It's..... I haven't shown it to anyone..... I swear, don't you ever tell anyone you saw this!" I glared, and she shrank again.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry I asked....." She turned her head so her mane fell over both her eyes, so she wouldn't have to look at me. She acts like it's a shield, but it's just flimsy hair.

"No, it's.... *sigh*.... alright, here, just.... be careful with it...." Passing her the frame, she looked at it carefully before passing it back to me.

"Who are they?" She asked softly, hoping I wouldn't be offended by the question.

"They're, my family. Here's my mom, here's my dad, and... here's me." I pointed out each of the figures. The tiny little bundle of feathers and fur.

"This was taken...... I don't even remember how long ago it was. I was, six? No, seven. We were poor, I mean, all griffins are, but, we had each other. We were together, something most didn't have, and we were happy because of that."

"What happened?" She asked the question, and I tensed up, grabbing the wooden bedpost.

"On my eight birthday, they took me out... to practice flying...... We couldn't go out much, because it was dangerous and..... I got caught. DAMN FUCKING DIAMOND DOGS!" She recoiled at my outburst. I was breathing hard, my memories of that time had come welling back up. I took a minute to calm down, and she seemed a little nervous. I don't blame her now, a potentially violent me and she's defenseless. I let go of the bed post, it had my claw marks in it.

"A net came down and trapped me. My mom and dad came as fast as they could They fought them, but, they lost. My dad lost his right wing. While mom distracted them, he put the detached limb over me to try and hide me. It didn't work. They knocked us all out with gas. When I woke up, I had chains on me, and a harness. I was only eight! They had me pulling carts of gems that would make earth ponies sweat, and I was eight!"

"Oh, I'm.... so sorry...." She took a few steps closer then stopped when I interrupted her.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. Besides, the story's not over."

"Oh." She sat back down.

"A year.... a whole year of that. Underground. Coughing, choking on the stale air. Pulling something I had no business pulling. My parents worked hard. Really hard, so the dogs would trust them not to try anything. They, stole a key, and unlocked me. I hid in the darkness, praying to whatever god is supposed to be looking after us griffins, who has been doing a right terrible job at it, that I wouldn't get found. They took my dad to a room, and when he said he didn't know where I was, they beat him, and then cut off his other wing. I was, so afraid..... so scared. I hid, sneaking through the tunnels for three days, no food or water, before I finally got out."

Fluttershy was crying at this point. She dove at me and wrapped her hooves around my neck, pressing herself against me, soaking me with her tears as, against my will, a few of my own escaped.

"So..... the image I have burned in my mind, the one I see every night...... is the one of my mother, telling me they'd be fine, to go, to escape, to live my life and be happy, and to have a happy birthday. I have no idea what happened to them after that. I hate them! I hate them so much! I was barely able to stop myself from killing Etch and Growl on a couple of occasions. Just flying, carrying them. Hey, maybe I could just drop them from up here? And then I remember. They were slaves too. They went through the same thing I did, at the hands of their own species no less."

"That's.... so terrible......"

"And it's not over. I worked hard. I worked myself to the bone, I scrimped and saved and starved, and I moved to Equestria. I went to Cloudsdale, and I met Rainbow Dash. She was..... so confident. I never saw her parents around, but she never let it get to her. She talked about them once in a while. Her dad, nothing was ever good enough. He wanted a colt, so he tried molding her into one. She was tough, strong, fast. They teased her of course, because of her mane and her macho attitude, but she never let it get to her. They called her a 'filly fooler', when nothing could be further from the truth. We grew up together. Eventually... we went our separate ways. I went off and did my own thing, trying to figure out a way I could maybe see my parents again."

"And then?" She asked. I was full on crying now.

"I went and saw her in Ponyville, and she had new friends. She had replaced me! I felt.... so worthless. I thought, it might be okay, maybe she hasn't replaced me, maybe we could catch up, but Pinks would give us a second alone, and then the party, the humiliation, it was just too much. I was so alone, again. I just wanted to die. I didn't care where I went anymore, and ended up drifting to the dragon badlands, where I found Grif. I dragged him back to a cave I had found a bit earlier. He was beaten all his life, and instead of getting sad, he got angry. He could fight back and he knew it! But, his world was different than ours, with different rules. He couldn't fight back there, despite having the ability, his enemies all had friends in high places. He couldn't touch them. He became one great big ball of rage."

"What happened next?"

"Well, we worked together to get some food, I taught him to fly, new body and all, it was new to him. After a couple days, we started getting along pretty well, he wanted to go back to where I found him, to look for clues about how he had gotten there, maybe find something of use. And that's when a dragon showed up."

"A.. d...d...dragon?" Fluttershy stammered. Wow, she really is afraid of everything.

"Yeah, we tried to escape, but it torched me. I couldn't fly anymore. He realized he couldn't escape, even if he left me behind, which he refused to do. That dragon had harder scales than all of these ones, and was at least twice as big. It looked like death itself. He never had any real friends either, and then, having finally found one in me, only for the dragon to try and eat me.... he got MAD. He got this look in his eye that said 'I don't care if the spirits themselves try to strike me down, because I'll live through it, find them, and kick their asses for even thinking of hurting me and my friends.' He flew right up to it, ripped a scale out, and dove down it's throat."

"That's........"

"I thought he was dead, then the dragon starts thrashing around, blowing fire, trying to get him out. It fell over, dead, and he walked out of it's mouth, acting like it was nothing at all. Sure, he freaked the hell out afterwards, but for the moment, he just looked..... I can't explain it. He was bruised, cut up, burned, covered in blood, and he looked beautiful. He's the first friend one who ever stuck their neck out for me since my parents. So, I decided to stay with him. I didn't have much of a choice, not being able to fly and all. He made a salve for my burns, took care of me while I healed, and after I told him my story, he told me he was going to take over half the world, so stuff like that never happens again."

"And?"

"First I laughed, called him crazy, but when I looked at his face, the same proud face of victory he wore when he did the impossible and saved my life, I suddenly realized, he could do it. He CAN do it, but not without help. My help. So, I joined him. And now, we're famous throughout the known world. Even if we fail, and we can't pull it off, we've made waves. All throughout Equestria, ponies know who we are, and they're starting to figure out what we stand for, especially after we bailed Blueblood out. Odds are, others are going to start following suit. We're gathering support, even if it's just ponies wishing us good luck, they're behind us. It's time for change, and we're going to bring it, whether the world is ready or not, because despite what it wants, this needs to happen NOW. He gave me hope where there was none, and he can do the same for the rest of us. I'd follow him to hell and back. Heck, I already have, the Volcanic Wastes are close enough. That's why he's the captain."

I was never much for motivational speaking, but, something about Grif ignited a fire in my heart. The way he does things, going overboard and lashing out at the slightest provocation, making the WORLD know that he's not one to mess with, and he's not going to get pushed around. Damn it, now I'm acting like a school girl crushing on the storm ball captain. Except he's a pirate, and by his definition, a loser.

"He's, kind of scary....." My thoughts were interrupted by the soft voice of the pony hugging me, and I had unconsciously begun combing her mane with my claw.

"Nah, just talk to him. He acts all tough, but when he's not fighting, he's just a big softy. By the way, he happens to like you, something about adorable or something, and he's really soft, well, when he's not wearing his armor. One thing I know about him, is he knows people, or ponies, better than they know themselves. He'll act different depending who he's around. If you walk up to him, he'll turn into a big soft marshmallow, because that would make you the most comfortable."

"Oh, um, okay, I will." She blushed at the mention of a pirate captain thinking she's adorable.

"Oh and Fluttershy....... thanks......"

Pretty good. I like it. it's a bit of a distraction from the plot, and it goes more in depth as to what happened.

Shy (39)

Shy

I never could have imagined something like that. In Equestria, things like that.... just don't happen. Everything is peaceful. I remember being teased, mocked, and shunned, all because I couldn't fly very well, and I was nervous around everyone. There wasn't even a reason behind my shyness, no deep seated issue or trauma, it's just who I was. I never could have imagined something like what happened to Gilda. Losing your family at a young age, being all alone, a slave..... it's just too horrible to think about. Oh, I hope I don't have nightmares. The poor thing, she just wanted somepony to understand, I can't even think of what she might be feeling, and for me, that's a big deal.

"Fluttershy?"

"OH! Rainbow, you really shouldn't sneak up on me."

"Sneak up.... I was just standing here, you were lost in thought..... hey... have you been crying?" My oldest friend, Rainbow Dash. Always looking out for me, but at the same time, much too headstrong. Not that I could tell her that......

"Oh, um, no. I was just... um.... worried about my animal friends back home. I miss them terribly." A lie. Okay, so, it wasn't a lie, I do miss them, but that's not why I was crying. I feel bad about lying to her, but I can't tell her what happened, Gilda spoke to me in confidence!

"Well, alright then." She doesn't believe me, but she knows if I don't tell her, there's a reason for it. "Try and cheer up will you? We're on our way home, and you'll see them soon. Come on, come back inside. You stay out on the deck at night, and you'll freeze."

"Oh, no, um, don't be worried about me. I, um, I'll just stay out here a bit longer. I don't really like it in there... it's so.... loud."

"Yeah yeah, alright, just, don't stay out too late. Besides, I don't like the look of that diamond dog, hanging out there, all on his own. He's kind of creepy."

Rainbow flew back down inside, to go back to the party Pinkie was throwing. I saw Griffin talking to the diamond dog, Growl, give him a pat on the back, then head towards me. He was trying to avoid eye contact with me.

He knows ponies better than they know themselves. If he's around you, he'll become a big soft marshmallow because that's what would make you the most comfortable.

He's not looking at me, because he knows he's scary, and I get scared easy. But, if he's willing to take that into consideration, then, he's not scary after all, isn't he?

"Um, hi?" I said it softly, but he still heard me. He looked at me. Those eyes, fierce and predatory, piercing gaze, oh no."

"Eep!" Oh, there I go again, getting afraid. Come on Fluttershy, you can do this.

"It's a nice night, isn't it? Although, I suppose they're all nice. Not a cloud in the sky." When I opened my eyes, he was just sitting there, next to me. We wasn't carrying his weapon, which is a good thing or I think I would have fainted. He was just looking at the stars.

"What do you mean... they're all nice... if you don't mind......"

"Well, where I'm from, we have pollution pretty bad. Back in the wastes, I didn't cough at all. I've had a lifetime of bad air. But I can get past that. No. The part that bothers me is that I can almost never see the night sky anymore because of the cloud cover, and when I can, it's always through a haze. I wanted to leave, go live out in the wild, pure, untouched, and I wound up here. I have to say, this is a lot better than anyplace on earth." He just stared off into space for a while, thinking about something.

"You.... like nature?" I broke the silence. He turned to look at me. At first, I tried to look away, but this time, his eyes weren't sharp, they were, calm. Then, he looked away again.

"I suppose I do. I always have. Not so much animals as the weather. Rain, wind, lightning."

"You...you... like... lightning and... thunder? But it's so.... loud and scary."

"That's kind of odd, coming from a pegasus."

"Go ahead, laugh...."

"I'm not going to laugh." He laid down on the deck.

"Why?"

"Because, I have been laughed at far too much to do it to someone else. I know how much it hurts. The sting of their words. Being mocked, for no reason other than being who you are. Back home, I was a nerd, a geek, egghead, loser, whatever."

"Y...you? But...but.... you're so.... strong. You fought dragons... you.... saved us....."

"I suppose I did.... but.... that was after I got here. Here, I have a reason, and the ability. Back home...... forgive the example, but it would be like if everyday, Prince Blueblood treated Rarity like trash, she tried to run, she tried to hide, but every day, he found her, and when she finally fought back, the princess stood in, and even though she had seen what he had done to her, she punished her for the one time she stood up for herself. Now, that's not true, and neither of them would ever do that, but in my world, that's just how it works. I had no choice, because the ones who were hurting me KNEW they would get away with it, because if I tried anything, I'd be the one punished." He explained. That was just.... brutal... how could anypony do something like that to somepony else? That's right.... he's not from here.

"That's.... awful...." I felt like I was going to cry.

"Fluttershy, I want to show you something. You have to promise not to scream, and not to cry. Is that alright?"

"N...n...no.... I don't think I could. I think I know what you want to show me..... You want to show me what you really look like.... so I can see the scars......" So weak. I can't even bring myself to look at his wounds......

"That's alright, I won't show you then, but yes. That's what it is. I hate my old body. It's nothing more than a reminder of how weak I was, how weak I am, and a memory of the past. Honestly, it would be best if I could get rid of it entirely. I like being a griffin. I'm strong, fast, can fly.... honestly, I don't know how you do it. Not flying every second of every day? Flying is the best thing ever. But, then again, we're two different people." He said with a sigh. He seemed sad. He's not some heartless, evil, pirate captain. He's just a guy who's been treated wrong far too many times, and has had enough of it.

"Do you, you know, want to talk about it, you past?"

"Trust me, you don't want to do that. If you can't handle looking at the scars on my body, there's no way you'd be able to take the ones on my heart and mind. You'd have nightmares for years to come. I can't do that to you. Besides. I'm not ready to let go of my pain. My pain... it makes me angry.... and when I'm angry, it's.... this feeling...... it feels good. It feels good to let my feelings, that I've bottled up all this time, to let them out." He started getting a little more passionate.

"But, that's not the way to do things. If you let yourself get angry like that, you get violent, and.... you hurt those around you....." I know from experience with Iron Will. I let my anger and frustration get the better of me. It felt good, until I hurt my friends... then it was horrible. I felt like a monster.

"Not if you direct it. Decide where it goes. What is making you angry? Then, focus the anger at it. What makes me angry is the state of living the griffins and diamond dogs are in. They have to fight and enslave each other, just to get enough gems to appease dragons. That's wrong. It makes me mad, and getting angry at injustice is not a bad thing. It's how the world changes for the better." He stood.

"You have to stand up and say, 'This is wrong, and I will not let this happen any longer! I will make myself heard! Know that I will not stand for this!', and then do something about it. I'm not ready to let go of my pain. My pain brings me anger, which brings me strength, but only if I direct it at something. If I focus one one thing, It won't get the better of me. As long as I remember why I'm angry, and it doesn't get misplaced, then I won't hurt my friends. As for my enemies.... well..... they know what's coming."

'That's strange. I never thought of it like that. I never got mad, but when I did, I didn't know where to direct it. But, he's also holding onto his pain. He won't let it go.'

"I need my pain, because without it, I won't have the strength to do what I need to do." He's holding on to so much. I just hope that once he succeeds, he'll be able to let it go...... Once he succeeds.... don't I mean if? No.... I definitely mean when. Is this what Gilda meant? They way he talks, he makes it sound like anything is possible, like all I have to do is follow him, and everything will fall in place. This is why he's the captain. He can make others believe in him.

"Well, I've had enough fresh air, and I've checked up on Growl. Not sure why, but he's kind of anti social. I'm headed back in. Sorry for dumping all that on you, but, thanks for listening anyways." And then Griffin went back inside. Growl.... his name makes him sound harsh and scary, but he's just standing there, looking at the moon. I should go and talk to him... maybe.... NO! Definitely. I can do this.... just calm down Fluttershy. Griffin was nice, all I had to do was talk to him. Alright. Here I go.

Growl (40)

Growl

As I stood on the top deck by the railing, leaning my head back to look at the moon upside down, when the little yellow pegasus walked towards me. I had seen her talking with the captain, and he thought she was alright, so I guess I could talk to her, if she wants. She's one of the ponies I thought I'd get along with. Mostly because she's quiet. I don't like loud things. It's why the captain put me in charge of the Romak. They were quiet. They were strong. They know what it means to be still. Not like that yapping Etch. I had worked next to him for seven years, and never once did he shut up. Still, sometimes he was good company, and in the mines as a slave you take what you can get. We were treated considerably better than the pony slaves, as well as a number of griffin slaves I had seen before we were sent to the jungle border. After all, we were still diamond dogs. I never understood why the alphas hated the other races so much. When I asked why we didn't just hire them and pay some gems instead of making them slaves and having to guard them, he grabbed my tongue and threatened to cut it off. My father was not the most lenient of dogs.

That's right, I forgot to mention, my father was the former alpha, before he got killed anyway. He was so disappointed that I didn't have the same trait. Sure, I was taller and stronger than the other pups, but I was nowhere near alpha level. He spoke with nothing but disdain for me. It's his damn fault I wasn't born like that, not mine. Anyway, just because I don't talk much, doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm a thinker. It's just that thinkers in diamond dog packs tend to get into trouble. You're supposed to leave the thinking to the alphas, which I was not. Then again, I partly am. I am, but I am not. Too confusing.

The pegasus came closer, very slowly, very quietly, hoping not to disturb me. I'll just let her do what she likes.

"Um... hello?" She asked carefully. I blew out through my mouth, the vapor turning into a cloud in the cold night air above the sea. She backed away slightly, timid little thing. I let myself slide into sitting position, against the railing. Seeing that as her invitation, she approached and sat down next to me. We both sat there for what felt like an hour, before I finally spoke up.

"You, don't have to sit here if you don't want to."

"Oh, um, I'm sorry, am I bothering you?" She asked, hoping I wasn't offended.

"No, not at all, it's just you don't need to spare any concern for me."

"Oh, well, okay."

We simply sat there for several minutes more, gazing off into nowhere. She began to sing softly to herself, however, with my ears, I was of course, able to hear it. After all, we diamond dogs have much better hearing than ponies, and considering my father was an alpha, I had inherited that trait more strongly.

The meadowlarks sing,

The bells start to ring,

the beat of my heart,

the painter, his art,

the wind and the clouds,

whisper, no-ne too loud,

of nature's secret joy

The rabbits dance,

the gaz-elle prance,

the fish which swim

and on a whim,

I join their song

and all along

the whole world plays, it's symphony,

but only to those, who lend their ear,

it says to open, eyes and see

that mother is here, and nothing's to fear.

She finished, and gave a sigh to herself.

"That was very beautiful." She practically jumped.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd...." She stammered.

"Hear it? My ears can hear the flap of a butterfly's wings, and do not be sorry, I enjoyed it. Far to often we rush through the world, and forget to be a part of it." When I said that, she suddenly came to realize something, what it was, I do not know, but she moved herself closer to me. She didn't even flinch when I brought my right arm up to run my claws though her mane.

"Um, I hope you aren't offended but, the way you spoke before, it gives off the impression that you're......"

"Uneducated? I know. For a long time, I have spoken that way. I am an.... abnormal diamond dog. A thinker. Thinking is not appreciated among the packs. Unthoughtful loyalty to the pack leader, unquestioningly doing what you are told. I speak in broken sentences to give the illusion that I am stupid, so that I fit in. Although I no longer must speak that way, it became a force of habit for me."

"That must be awful." She looked at me with those big blue eyes, which felt like they bored into the very soul, while at the same time not intruding at all.

"It's strange, I wanted to be an artist. I would find myself absentmindedly forming things from clay, drawing, painting if I could. Of course, I was supposed to just dig for gems, but I always found a way to put just a little bit of artistic flare in that drab cave. I also wanted to leave and see the surface world. Oh, father had a fit when he found out." I gave a low laugh, and she smiled sweetly. I gently moved my arm and pulled the little pony closer to me.

"I was supposed to grow up and handle the weather. All pegasi are supposed to help with the weather, but I couldn't fly to save my life. Literally. I fell off a cloud one day all the way to the ground, where I was saved by a swarm of butterflies. Imagine everypony's surprise when they found out that, as a pegasus, my special talent was helping animals which lived on the ground. Of course, my parent's couldn't have been prouder, and helped me settle in to my ground life right away, but the others.... well.... we're supposed to fly and help with weather, but I didn't. So, I guess that made me a little separate from them. It was okay, because I was shy anyway, and they would always tease me because of that. My animal friends never tease.... well, except Angel bunny, but, he's a bit different than normal." She explained a little sad, and a little shy, although a lot more open than when I had first seen her.

"Tease? A sweet and kind pony like you? Who would dream of doing such a thing?" She blushed slightly. Suddenly, it wasn't so cold out here anymore. Well, it was a summer ocean breeze after all. I slid all the way down so I was laying on the deck, and she blushed a bit before laying down beside me. We each curled ourselves up to conserve warmth, our backs to each other, kindred spirits, before she nodded off to sleep. I noticed the butterflies on her flank, and her gentle snoring, inaudible to anyone else.

"Flap of a butterfly's wings indeed."

And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three

D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I hadn't gone into Growl's personality much, as for why he's the way he is. So I decided to give it a little bit. I wrote that song just now. Do you like it? Third update of Griffin today, why are ponies so addicting?

The Trix To Success (42)

The Trix To Success

"So then he says, 'Trix! Torch this shit!' And I say, 'With pleasure!' and throw fire all over the place. It burns for maybe five minutes, with a huge gust of air coming in, bringing all the dust with it. We finally get in the main chamber, and a spider 30 times his size grabs him with a web line like it's fishing. You should have seen him scream like a little filly!"

"Baaahahahaha. Who would have thought he'd be afraid of spiders?" Rainbow Dash laughed. For all the mockery I faced in Ponyville, she was just as big a braggart as I was.... well, the difference being she could back it up, but still, she knew the value of a good story.

"So it drags the both of us up and covers us in web. He held his sword out in front, which was lucky because the spider's fangs hit it instead of him. We both ran out of air really quick and passed out. Next thing you know, we wake up by a burning spider corpse. Then Gilda tells him he's got a spider on him, and he tells me to light him on fire. It was hilarious to see him running around freaking out. Well, let's just say after that ordeal, I'm afraid of spiders now too, but him, he's petrified."

"I can see why, nasty little things, and that one wasn't so little." Rarity added.

"Sooo, having fun at my expense I see?" Grif walked in.

"Naturally."

"Let's not forget you passed out from the spider as soon as it grabbed us." He mocked, making me blush.

"Hey! Outside, what did you mean by what you said?" The rainbow pegasus asked.

"What do you mean what do I mean? It's pretty obvious. The reason you don't have a coltfriend is because nobody can keep up with you. If you were to get a special someone, you'd have to slow down, which you don't want to do. It's one of your main drives from getting in the Wonderbolts, they're the only ones with even a chance of keeping up. Which reminds me, when are you going to join them?" He asked.

"Well, I'm still waiting for them to notice my awesome skills." She replied.

"I don't get it, I mean, after pulling off the rainboom and saving their lives, which everyone saw, how could they not accept your application?"

"Um, what application?" Audible face hoofs all around.

"They're a branch of the military, they can't just show up and take you, you have to apply to them. You know, paperwork?" Grif explained.

"You're kidding, the entire time, THAT'S what's been holding me back?" Yep, Rainbow Dash is currently the title holder of 'Most Dense Pony In Equestria'.

"Well, it's not like you could join them right now anyway. You'd have to leave all your friends in Ponyville. That, and they probably couldn't handle you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She got a bit defensive.

"It means they fly in formation, and you'd just speed ahead of them."

"No, the other thing."

"Oh, yeah, the Wonderbolts travel all across Equestria, and you'd have to go with them. The time will come when you'll have to choose between your dreams and your friends."

"I, never thought of that...." Rainbow now seemed a little depressed.

"Oh nonsense, no matter where you go or what you'll do, we'll always be friends." Rarity piped up.

"True, Dashie here is so fast, she could just make it back to Ponyville in no time and pop in for a visit whenever she wasn't busy, but what about the rest of you? Rarity, what if you were suddenly given the offer to move to Canterlot and make dresses for the creme de la creme of the elite? What would you say? Would you leave your friends behind and follow your dreams, regretting it as you drifted apart, or would you put your career on hold for the sake of your friends? What about Twilight, if she was given the chance to teach at the Canterlot academy? Fluttershy would stay in Ponyville, because she's attached to the animals and the forest, Pinkie would stay there because all her friends are there, and Applejack would remain because that's where the farm is, and pretty much nothing could pull them away." Griffin stated.

"I..... I don't know what I'd do. Oh Canterlot, the fashion, the culture, the society, but... my friends? They're too important to me. I wouldn't want to give up either. I suppose I'd try to find a way to make it work...." Rarity thought.

"You suppose?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No, we'd DEFINITELY make it work." Rainbow declared.

"Aha! And that's the right answer, and what our group is all about. We're the ones that when life comes up with those dilemmas, we downright refuse to compromise. We break the rules life sets for us." I added. The captain had a mind for philosophy, and none of the others really took to it. Growl would just listen. I'm the only one who ever actually replied to his musings.

"So wait, what was the whole point of this?" Rarity asked.

"Simple, to make you think. This is a problem that you would no doubt encounter in the future, something with the potential to tear you apart. By making you think about it beforehand, it gives you plenty of time to come up with a way to deal with it. It's what Grif does all the time, and it's what's kept us afloat. Plan for everything."

"Trixie, when did you start thinking that way?" Twilight asked. I bear no grudge against her. I used to, but that has been long since burned away in the fires of battle and camaraderie I had with my crew.

"Since I joined the crew. My eyes became open to the world. The princesses put a phenomenal amount of effort into making sure we ponies don't have to worry about very much, but even then, often times things just don't turn out on their own. My time with Griffin made me learn that if you want something to turn out a certain way, you have to set it up so the pieces fall into place with a slight nudge, then force them in. As his rider, we have a pretty close relationship, and we share our thoughts. We have to be on the same page to work together." I explained.

"That must be comforting, having somepony you are that in tune with." She replied.

"Yes.... it is....."

"So.... what's it like?" Rarity asked me.

"What's what like?"

"FLYING! But, more than that, being strapped to somepony and having them do the flying, no control over it yourself."

"Well, at first it was frightening, but once I realized that I wasn't going to fall, and even if I did, he'd catch me, once we came to trust each other...... it's exhilarating."

"You should have seen her, when I took her for her first flight, it was a mix of when you fell during the best young flier's competition, and when Dash did the rainboom to catch you." Grif teased.

"Wait, you weren't there, so, how do you know what we looked like?" Rarity asked him.

"Alien."

"That's your excuse for everything." Dash pouted.

"And it's a good one, because it's true. Oh, and Twilight, I was meaning to ask, just what exactly happened in magic kindergarten to make you dread it so much?" I asked, causing her to fume and blush at the same time. I'm not sure why, but Grif told me if Twilight makes me upset, to just ask her that and it would shut her up right away. I decided to use it here, because it would be fun. I have to admit, messing with these ponies heads is extremely enjoyable. Considering that I'm an illusionist, who's entire goal is trickery and deceit, I should have learned to do this sooner. There's just something satisfying about getting under somebody's skin.

"I will never speak of it again." She shuddered.

"Oh well. Alright, well, I'm done analyzing Rainbow Dash's love life, who's next?" He asked.

"Ooh! Me! Pick me!" Pinkie Pie began bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Are you sure? After all, this is going to be blatantly honest, and you might feel hurt afterwards."

"Okie dokie lokie! Hit me!" She responded.

"Trixie, would you like to do this one?" He asked.

"Well, I suppose I could....."

"Just remember what I taught you about profiling." he encouraged.

"Alright.... let's see..... Pinkie Pie, hyper and overzealous, good for making you smile and laugh, but unstable, and has erratic tendencies. To get a stallion, you'd have to calm down a bit while maintaining your happiness. So..... stop rambling and going off on a tangent. You talk a lot, and a guy will sometimes need you to listen. That, and when you get going you can make anyone's head spin."

"Ooh! So, you're saying I can't eat cupcakes all the time, and should have muffins once in a while!" I'm not sure where she drew that analogy from, but by now, I know better than to question Pinkie Pie. She just bounced off, happy with her answer.

"Alright, well, what about me?" Twilight asked. I looked to Grif, who just looked back to me and nodded.

"Get out of the library! You're smart and talented, but if you spend all day indoors, there's no way someone will ever notice you. How can you catch someone's attention if you're invisible?" She seemed lost in thought, then walked away mumbling something about not being a shut in. I have to agree with the captain, this is fun! Figuring out what is wrong with other people and pointing it out to them, while mean, also lets them better themselves.

"Very good Trixie. Now, can you tell me what's wrong with yourself?" He asked. The question took me totally off guard. Me? I'm, not really sure.

"I don't really know....."

"Don't worry, that's normal. It's hard to spot your own flaws, and easy to pick up on the faults of others. My problem is I'm condescending. I think others are beneath me until they prove themselves. You're kind of the same way. We burned a lot of that out of you, but it's still there. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It means that others have to work hard to gain your acceptance, but it also means the relationship is more stable." He explained. It made sense. I was always thinking myself to be better than everyone else, but now..... I guess I still think that way, I just don't voice it. And, for the most part, I AM better than most, given my skills and what I'm doing.

"I hear ya'll are goin over each other's love lives, or lack thereof. Wanna give me a spin?" Applejack asked. Unrefined farm pony.... let's see what the captain has to say.

"Well, honestly, I can't really see any reason why you don't have someone. Honest, hardworking folk are hard to come by, well, where I'm from anyway. Being open with someone is extremely important, and so is being strong enough to help them back up when they're down. Hmm, let your mane and tail hang loose when you're not working, and take the hat off sometimes so they can see your eyes. Other than that..... I think you might intimidate the guys."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She looked somewhat angry at the statement, getting into a defensive stance.

"See? My point exactly." He recoiled a little. "You need to be strong, but gentle at the same time. In fact, you and Fluttershy should switch roles for a week. It would make you more sensitive and her more confident. Do that, and the guys should be all over you, unless Big Mac scares em off." She dropped her guard, then sat on the ground thinking.

"Ah guess ah do come off a little strong....."

"Oh! You truly are good at this. I would be most appreciative if you would give me advice as well. For some reason, no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to get anypony to take a second glance. Of course, they look the first time, but then they just keep walking." Rarity spoke up. Really, I'm clueless when it comes to her. I'm not nearly as good at this as the captain is.

"Are you sure you want me to do that? I mean, I know what's wrong, and, well, it's a LOT. You'll probably be offended, or angry. In fact, if I were to tell you everything, you'd probably downright despise me afterwards for being so harsh." He actually looked a little afraid of what her reaction might be.

"That bad?" She asked, feeling a little hopeless at the fact that her personality was that messed up when it came to her possible relationships.

"Yeah, that bad."

The white unicorn sat there for a moment in thought, struggling with herself, before finally coming to the decision.

"Alright, tell me. I will not be angry, I will not break down, I will listen to what you have to say, and remember that it is merely your opinion, despite the fact that you are quite skilled at this." She resolved to hear him out no matter what he said.

"Very well, I ask that we do this in private. Just you, Trixie, and myself. While you might appreciate me being brutally honest, I won't appreciate being bucked in the face, and thrown into a wall by magic." He actually seemed worried. If I hadn't seen Twilight handle an ursa minor, I'd say he was overreacting. I know quite well these ponies are not to be underestimated.

The three of us left and went into his room. Rarity looked around at his weapons and armor, stacked neatly in the corner, while he had a number of other things strewn all over the place. Notes, charged gems, diagrams, maps, charts, and several crumpled pieces of paper that contained scrapped ideas. The unicorn seemed to have a mix of emotions.

"Your room...... it looks like the library when Twilight is having one of her study sessions...." She remarked. I hadn't been in his room before. He kept most of the stuff in there private. Mostly because when he discovered something, he wanted to perfect it before showing it to us.

"Oh, don't mind the mess. I do a lot of thinking, about, things. Oh, hold on, let me just...." He grabbed a piece of blueprint paper, covering it as he did it, then rolled it up and put in in a chest which he then locked. Apparently he was working on something he wanted to be a surprise.

"Alright, now take a seat. I'll be doing your review, while Trixie takes notes." He said, passing me a piece of parchment.

"Really, it's so bad that you have to take NOTES?" She proclaimed. "Oh, I'm beginning to think that it might be hopeless by the way you carry on about it...." She said, making an overly dramatic pose.

"Yes. Just as Applejack has very little wrong with her in this regard, you, being her polar opposite, have a lot. Alright, that's the first thing. Trix, what did you see?" He asked.

"Overly dramatic?"

"Correct! Guys don't like a drama queen, prone to flights of fancy and over embellishing their problems. People don't like it when other's go for a pity party." Rarity looked upset.

"Number two, fussy. Sure, being prim and proper is important, as are details, but absolute perfection cannot be achieved, no matter the effort, and you have to know when to say, 'it's good enough'. You, do not know how to do that."

"Oh, pish posh, I know that out there, my prince charming is waiting for me." I rolled my eyes, he practically gagged himself.

"Number three, unrealistic. You went after your 'prince charming' with Blueblood, and look how that turned out. The fact is, there are very few who fit that description, and those that do are already taken. Fancypants for example. What's more, you seem dead set on royalty. Guess what? It's not going to happen. You need to lower your standards. There are many, perfectly reasonable ponies, or griffins, or dragons out there that you won't even take a second glace at. The whole reason you get interested in someone is because they're high class, and as such, wealthy, instead of who they really are. This is something you need to change."

Her cheeks were bright red with frustration, after all, everything she believed in regarding relationships was being thrown out the window, and rightfully so. She puffed up her cheeks, then forcefully blew her breath out to calm down.

"Please, continue."

"Actually, before I do, I need to ask you a question, how do you feel about Spike?" She seemed of guard with his question, and was about to ask how he knew of such things before she remembered his 'alien' line.

"Well, I don't really know. I mean, he's sweet, and helpful, a true gentlecolt, but, at the same time, he's a dragon."

"And what's wrong with being a dragon?" I asked.

"Well, nothing per say, but, he's still a baby dragon. By the time he grows to maturity, I'll be far older than I am now. What's more, he'll be far larger than I. It just wouldn't work out." She explained.

"Have you told him?"

"Heavens no! How can I? It would break his heart. I know how he feels for me, how can I just tell him I don't return his feelings, and never will?"

"So then, you'll just keep stringing him along, until one day he finds out from someone other than you how you feel? He'll feel used, and rightfully so. He'll still have to face the heart break, but knowing that he wasted years trying for the affections of someone who would never return them, and that they knew it the whole time, it would only make things more painful. Considering all he's done for you, you owe him a solid answer. Yes, it will hurt him to be rejected, but at least you'd still be friends. It will hurt him so much more being lied to. Tell him how you feel, you owe him that much."

"I, I can't..... I can't do that to him....."

"And that's the fourth thing. Indecisive. You can't make a difficult choice. You avoid making necessary moves because they'll hurt. Overall, it means you don't trust those close to you to handle what you tell them. Like with Fluttershy and the modeling thing. You couldn't bring yourself to tell her, and look how that turned out. You ended up putting unnecessary stress on Twilight, and all your friendships were strained because of it."

"I know! I'm weak and I'm cowardly! The whole reason I'm so stricken with royalty is because then I wouldn't have to make those kinds of decisions....."

"And you're also a fool, because no matter what, you'll have to make those decisions. Royalty even more so. They have a country to run. I do not envy Celestia and Luna. They have to make difficult decisions every day, and if they make the wrong choice, the people suffer." Grif's eyes were soft and caring.

"How can I tell him? How can I tell Spike that? He'll hate me!"

"Well, we COULD always send him a letter." I suggested. Rarity looked at me.

"What? We can. Grif can just cast the spell and send a letter to him, telling him how you feel."

"NO! Under no circumstances! I will not reject him in a letter!"

"Well then, you have to tell him yourself."

"But I....."

"Either you promise.... wait, Grif, what was the thing you said?"

"Pinkie Promise?" He offered.

"Right, either you Pinkie Promise to tell him when you get home, or I'll make the letter and send it right now. So, who would you rather him hear it from, an anonymous letter, or from you?"

"You, you can't! You wouldn't! That's blackmail!" She cried, tears appearing in her eyes.

"And that my dear Rarity," I used a mock high society accent, as well as a pause for dramatic effect, "is why we are pirates. You see, we don't follow the rules. We do what needs to be done regardless of standard. So yes, we can, and unless you make the unbreakable promise, we WILL." I gave a devilish smile. While it will turn out better in the long run, causing these ponies emotional pain and distress is oddly satisfying. I love it.

"Alright.... fine..... cross my heart.... hope to fly..... stick a cupcake in my eye......" She was choking.

"You promise what?"

"I promise that when I get home, I'll tell Spike how I really feel, as soon as I've unpacked."

Elsewhere

"Twitchy, twitchy, rub, ache, flop, flutter, twitch, flip, and kick. Rarity just made a Pinkie Promise to tell Spike how she really feels. Poor guy."

Griffin's Room

"So, that's it then. Take these notes. Look them over. If you're dead set on high society, try going for a royal guard. Otherwise, start looking elsewhere. Goodnight Rarity. I hope this was informative. Now, get out of my room, I have things I need to discuss."

Rarity left in tears, having all her flaws just laid out in front of her, knowing them to be true, and now having a difficult task ahead of her, she went to her own room. As soon as the door closed, we heard bawling. Oh well. She needed to learn this sooner or later, and sooner was better. That and making her cry was strangely satisfying. I guess I'm becoming more like the captain every day.

"Do you mind me asking, what was on that blueprint you were so desperate to hide?"

"Well, I don't mind showing you, but don't tell anyone else. It's still in development, and I'll have to have Steelhorn take a look at it to make alterations. I'm not a smith, so this is just an unprofessional idea, he'd have to make it work." He went into his chest and pulled out the paper. It had two chambers, a handle on the bottom a little ways from the back, with a gun stock on the back of it, and a sliding handle halfway through on the side, with a spring mechanism and fan of some sort. Each chamber had a gem in it, with the front leading to shutters which seemed to be connected to a trigger near the back, and lenses in front of the shutters. He smiled brightly. I had no idea what the hell it was.

"I'm not an engineer, mind explaining it?"

"Well, I found out that the ship runs by having a natural generator of a gem give magic energy to powdered gemstones dissolved in water, which is then pumped to other gems for their function. I saw Steelhorn's designs for the weapon he's building for the ship, and I decided to make a smaller version of it. A charged gemstone in the chamber near the back provides the energy, pull the spring loaded handle on the side to turn the waterwheel mechanism inside, pumping the solution through the hoses. It comes in contact with the flat bottom of a triangular gem, which then gives off light via 'lumen', which, when the trigger is pulled, opens the shutters and pours light through the lenses, which is focused into a beam. Basically, it's a laser rifle. we're going to have a big one on the deck that is hooked right into the ship's systems, but I figure the troops could carry these. Perfect accuracy, long range, no fall off from gravity, unlimited ammo. It's a sniper rifle that uses beams. For closer range, they could just hold the trigger down and continually pump the side handle, making it a Super Soaker, but with lasers. As long as they keep pumping the handle, the beam will keep going." He explained.

All the technical stuff went over my head. So he said in layman's terms, 'When you put light through a magnifying glass, but more powerful and portable.'

"Well, why didn't you say that in the first place? By the way, just when the heck did you have time to come up with all this?"

"Well, when I was laying in bed recovering after I had woken up, Steelhorn came down and showed me his plans for the laser cannon he's building on the top deck, so I could give it the once over. Part of the deal was that since I came up with the idea, he'd show me the plans for any innovations first, let me give them the once over. Then, I was allowed to sleep in my own bed, but not allowed to exert myself, so I was bored for a half day, and I drew some sketches, which you see decorating the floor. It's not finished yet. I spent my spare time over the past two days drawing up proper blueprints, although I'll have to change them once I get the crew measurements and I expect that minotaur will be making his own modifications to them, since he's the smith and will actually be making the things. I finally finished the first draft maybe twenty minutes before the party started, which is why I forgot to put it away. We won't be able to build them till we get more gems and supplies and whatnot, but when we do, we'll have a properly armed army in terms of both melee and range." He was almost fanatical when he spoke about his design. It wouldn't be a stretch to say he was obsessed with it. An idea all his own.

"Can you imagine it? Ten small beams from the Romak, picking off enemies, as well as one large one, and the cannons operated by the Lemko for bombardment, all firing off the ship at once? What a sight that would be. And if we deploy them somewhere, all forty of them become capable rangers. It's just point and shoot, no kickback. The easiest gun ever made. Maybe we could even give you a bigger one to use while riding me, since you aren't really that good at offensive spells, you could just charge the gem yourself, snipe an enemy, and then we'd disappear. Of course, you'd have to get more magic endurance. Can't have you fainting when I need you. By the way, those blue potions are there for you too you know. Feel free to use them, as long as you save one for me."

"Will it work though? I mean, it sounds really useful, but will it work?"

"I'm just the idea man. I come up with all the crazy stuff, then I get you guys to make it possible. Whether or not it works will be up to how good Steelhorn is. Considering the fact that he built this ship all on his own, or with at most a skeleton crew, I'd say there's a pretty good chance of this panning out. And if it does..... our enemies won't know what hit them. Walking down the street one day on patrol, a flash of light, no sound, the guard next to you drops dead. There's no blood because it burns the wound shut as it makes it. You turn around, the beam hits your armor, if it's cloth, lighting you on fire, if it's steel, melting it to your skin. No matter what, it's going to hurt, and it can be fired from out of visible range."

Explaining this all to me, how it would work, the strategy, operation, benefits. He did so with a maniac gleam in his eye and a wicked grin. He got great enjoyment from designing weapons, weapons which would be used to kill others in a war. And the strange thing was, I was smiling right along with him. I'm not sure when I changed, when I decided that it was alright to kill, and I'm not sure when I actually started enjoying it. Sometime after we saved Blueblood, but before the bar massacre. I liked killing. I liked helping him kill. Fighting the dragons was the scariest thing I ever did, and I loved every second of it. Now, going over weapon designs that would let us kill more effectively, it was enjoyable. We were having FUN plotting the deaths of others, and I had absolutely no problem with it.

Griffin once told me there are two types of killers. Those who sleep at night and those who don't. We had both taken lives, quite brutally, and while I can't vouch for the rest of the crew, we both slept like the dead.

Wow, Trixie is..... evil...... ME GUSTA. So, this is what Griffin spent his week doing while the mane six were on board. Sorting out their personality problems, and designing a freaking gun.

More art, by Carnelian as usual.

Pink (43)

Pink

(Oh just great, I have to try and write things from Pinkie's perspective. Wish me luck! I'll need it.)

"La la la la la la la." This is so much fun.... okay, maybe not as fun as some of the other parties I've thrown, considering I already used up my party supplies, but it's still fun! All of my friends are here, Griffy and Gilda and Trixie and the kitty cats and the diamond dogs. Well, Fluttershy and Growl aren't here, they already went to bed, but, that's normal. She gets tired so quick, and was never really one for exciting parties. Oh well!

The party was starting to wear down now. Twilight kept telling Dashie all about how the discovery of aliens was the biggest discovery ever and how much their knowledge could help and blah blah blah lots of stuff from school that I didn't understand BO-RING, and Rainbow was saying none of that mattered because she beat him in a sparring match which made her even more awesome. She really likes to toot her own horn. Wait, Dashie isn't a unicorn, she doesn't have a horn! If she did, would it be rainbow too? What would Twilight's horn sound like if I tooted it?

Right, going off on a tangent. Griffy said I shouldn't do that. Speaking of which, where is he? Growl, who is actually really nice and doesn't growl at all, and sleepyhead Fluttershy, have both gone to bed. Shimmer is with Mr. Minotaur, Twilight and Dashie are arguing, Applejack is talking with Etch about their families, Maria is with Selma doing stuff, Tiras is sleeping, same with most of the cats. That leaves Rarity, who is crying but not in a really sad way, more of a 'needs time to herself because she learned something dreadful that only she can do something about' kind of way. She needs a bit of time to think before I can cheer her up. That leaves......

"NADENE!" I pounced, but instead of knocking her over like I do with ponies, she caught me and started squeezing me.

"Pinkie Pie! Your mane smells like strawberries!" She started rubbing her face in it, hugging me tighter.

"Can't..... breathe.........."

"Oops.... sorry." She loosened her grip, but kept hugging, purring slightly.

"Why are you ponies so soft? Is Trixie this soft? If she is, no wonder Grif lets her ride him. You're like a big fluff of cotton candy!" She was talking almost as fast as I usually do, which is super because now I have somepony to talk to who can actually keep up!

"Don't know. Just are. Get snacks?" She nodded and put me down. We both rushed to the only remaining table full of confections in the hall, as it was close to the end of the party. Most everypony else had gone to bed or was winding down. Honey banana mango squares with mango green apple frozen yogurt on the side. There was lots of mango. The plate was a mass of mango!

"Muh, mrrhhy, mmrrh, mrngr." (I really love mango.)

"Mig, gruhur mrhmer mrum." (They're Griffin's favorite fruit.) She replied. It's funny, when somepony talks with food in their mouth, you can't understand what they're saying unless you also have your face stuffed. As soon as you put food in there everything the manage to mumble out suddenly makes perfect sense. I wonder if I should ask Twilight about that? It might distract her from the hoof thing. I still don't get what she's going on about, you just pick it up! It's easy!

After swallowing our mouthfuls and taking a deep gasp to get some air, we sat around thinking of things do to.

"Bored now, wanna play pin the tail on the pony?"

"Nah, already did that, piñata?" She suggested.

"Already bashed and emptied. Griffin really shredded that one of a spider."

"Especially after it landed on him." She giggled. So did I. It was funny. I know he doesn't like spiders, but even a spider piñata wasn't safe from him.

"Well, let's go see what Rarity, Trixie, Griffy and Gilda are up to. They were hardly up here the whole party."

Hearing soft sobs from Rarity's room, we knocked, and when she said go away....... well, we just went in anyway.

"I vant to be aloooooone." Oh boy, there's the water works. And the dramatic poses. I really wonder whether or not she should have been an actress instead of a dress maker.

"Never fear, your best friend Pinkie Pie is here to save you from the evil sad making monsters!"

"Oh Pinkie!" She dove at me with her hooves on my shoulders while laying on the ground. Nadene picked her up and cuddled her, (she's really good at hugs) and sat on the bed.

"It's okay Rar-rar, tell aunt Pinkie all about it."

"But, I'm a year...."

"Yes, I know."

"Well, I had Griffin give me a once over, to see why I couldn't get a proper coltfriend..." She sobbed.

"Wow, was he THAT harsh?" Nadene asked in disbelief.

"Well, he was harsh, but he did forewarn me that he was going to be brutally honest..... but that's not it. It's about Spike...."

"You don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you, but you can't stand to break his heart. I know.... my Pinkie Sense told me."

"But it's just so awful! I don't know what to do! I don't know how to tell him, what I should say! He'll hate me after this!" She bawled, throwing her head back. I walked up and nuzzled her softly.

"No, he won't. He'll understand. Despite being a baby dragon, he's only a few years younger than Twilight. If he was a pony, he'd be bigger than Sweetie Belle. He's stronger than you think. You just have to have him sit down and explain it to him. Yes, it will hurt, but so does having a splinter pulled out. It needs to be done, and the sooner it happens, the sooner you both can get over it and be friends after."

Rarity sniffed, then dove from Nadene's arms to mine, wrapping her own around my neck. Well, not my arms, my front legs...... right, gotta stop my thoughts from going off on a tangent.........which sounds like tangerine.

We both just sat there for a little before we parted, Rarity's makeup was running. I don't see why she wears it, she's plenty pretty without. She gave me a weak smile, but it was a smile none the less. Satisfied that I had done my job, we left her room to take a peek into Gilda's. She was sleeping soundly. Then, we went over to Griffy's, just in time for me to be bonked by the door opening as Trixie left. I was fine, so she didn't give it any mind. We walked in to see him cleaning up. His room was pretty messy.

"Whatcha doing?" My perky cat friend asked.

"Oh, just planning a surprise." He responded.

"Ooh! I love surprises! Is it a party? Because I love parties! I love surprises and parties, which is why I really love surprise parties!" He looked at me strangely before going back to cleaning up his stuff.

"No Pinkie, it's not a party. I'm designing a wea..... tool. Something that will help us later on. Nowhere near building it yet, but, that means I have plenty of time to work on it." The pirate captain explained.

"Well, if you have plenty of time, then why did you spend it down here working on whatever you're working on instead of enjoying the party?"

"Because I feel awkward at parties, even if it's my own crew. That, and you know how when Twilight gets an idea in her head, she just NEEDS to work on it. If she doesn't it'll drive her crazy? Just like when there's a birthday coming up and you just have to plan a party, and you want everything to go perfectly? Kind of like that."

"Oh...... so, what's it do?" Nadene asked.

"Can't tell you, that would ruin the surprise." He replied.

"Trixie knows......"

"That's because I thought she might be able to help with it."

"Can I help with it?"

"Do you know anything about mechanics, engineering, magic, or parabolic lenses?"

"No...."

"How about photon resonance, heat dissipation, and metallurgy?"

"Do I know about what, what, and what?"

"Afraid not. Sorry, you'll just have to wait."

"OOH! You're making science fictiony stuff! *Chhhhhhhk* This is Pinkie Pie, captain of the star ship Friendship. Captain's log, star date five minutes from now, today we encountered evil squid aliens from Sigmus twelve."

"Pinkie, how can it be star date five minutes from now?" Griffin asked.

"Well DUH, it's science fiction, so it has to be in the future. Twilight's novels say so!"

"Wouldn't it be, you know, a little farther in the future?" Nadene asked.

"You never know, maybe Griffy is about to have a huge breakthrough, and we'll all go into space on this airship! It does look kinda like a flying saucer." Both of them just cocked their heads to one side and burst out laughing. Yay! I made them smile! Once they settled down, Nadene said she was tired and was going to go to bed too. She's a cat, and cats sleep a lot, and she was tired from partying all day, so I let her go. She's fun, and we can't have fun tomorrow if she's tired. I stayed behind in his room. He looked at me strangely before asking,

"What?"

"You."

"What about me?" He responded.

"You act mean, but you really just want a friend... why? It's easier to get friends when you're nice." He took a deep breath and then sighed.

"I had friends, or, at least, I thought they were friends. They.... they betrayed me. All I ever did was try and get them to have fun, to make them smile, and......" He sighed again. "I won't go into detail, but, ever since then, I stopped trying to make friends. I figured they'd just turn their backs on me again, as soon as they couldn't use me anymore."

"Then they weren't friends. Friends don't do that."

"Yeah, but how was I supposed to know that they would? So now, my friends are the ones who I know I can trust, who've been there with me through thick and thin. I know that they won't turn their backs on me as soon as it's convenient, but there's still always the nagging doubt in the back of my mind, because it's happened once before. I keep reminding myself that this is a different world, that things are different here, that it won't happen again, but, truthfully, I'm scared Pinkie Pie. I'm scared of having friends, because even if they don't betray me, they can still get taken away, and I'll be all alone again. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to lose any of them, which is why I work so hard to make myself the best I can be, so they will never get taken away. I've read far too many stories where the hero loses a friend in a tragic accident that could have been prevented. I WON'T let it happen to me, so I have to prepare for everything." He had tears in the corners of his eyes, but he was forcing them back, not letting them out.

"You're right, but this IS a different world. Things are different here."

"That's the thing. In my world, I was convinced the universe hated me. Nothing, and I do mean nothing ever went right for me. My parents told me at age five that I was worthless, would never amount to anything, and they wished I had never been born, so they'd have more money to buy things they wanted. All I was to them was an accident that ruined their lives. Do you have any idea what that does to a kid? That's the whole of reality flipping you the middle finger, telling you, 'guess what, you're not allowed to be happy, so stop trying to be. As soon as you accept the fact you're supposed to be miserable, the sooner you can get on with wallowing in self pity, isolation, and going insane for the rest of your life.' I hated it."

I considered asking him what the middle finger meant, but I assumed it was something vulgar.

"I'm not SUPPOSED to be happy. In my universe, there is an unwritten law, stating that Griffin is not allowed to be happy. Which is why I'm not in my universe any more. I never want to go back, and every once in a while, I think that this might all just be a dream or a hallucination. That somebody slipped some kind of drug in my coffee, and I'm currently passed out in a café. I'm scared of waking up and having none of this be real." He was crying now.

"What about Echo. You met him here, and you didn't know him before. You can't just make this stuff up."

"Yes, you can. Discord's imagination is on par with a six year old human, so that says something about us. And, I do KNOW that this is real, and that this is my life, but again, I still get those nagging thoughts. What if it's not? Or, what if it is, but the one who randomly sent me here suddenly decides to send me back? Honestly? I'd rather die than go back to that place. All it is is a slow death, lasting your whole life. Well, for me anyway."

Seeing him like that didn't feel good. I make ponies laugh and smile. Whether it be a party for a happy occasion, or a hug on a sad one, it's what I live for. Griffin REALLY needed a hug. He probably never had one before. I slowly walked up to him, put my chin on his shoulder, and wrapped my hooves around his neck.

"It's okay. No matter what happens, aunt Pinkie will always be here, and I know you're a year older than me."

We both just sat like that for a while, until his tears stopped. He began idly combing through my mane.

"Thank's Pinkie. About when we were in Ponyville.... I'm sorry. You were just trying to be nice, and, well, I'm not nice. I told you not to laugh, when I mean, laughing is pretty much your thing. Might as well have asked you to not be yourself. It's just, all my life I've been laughed at and mocked, and this just turned into one more thing I would get laughed at about." He sighed again.

"I know, but, you forgave me remember? And I already forgave you."

"Yeah, but, I still feel like I owe you something. Say, do you like to sing?" He knows I do, it's part of his alien thing, but he was nice enough to ask anyways, so I nodded.

"I know a song that is delightfully cheerful. It's in another language, and in that language, it's still mostly gibberish. It's usually sung while spinning a leek, which is a kind of onion."

"But, that's just silly!"

"Which is why it's so fun." He smiled as he began to sing while twirling a stick in his claw skillfully, as if he'd practiced doing that, having it go over top of his talon before twisting it with the lower ones to make it keep going and stay in position.

After listening, it really was quite silly, but it was so much fun. The second time around, I began singing it too, and he seemed somewhat surprised that I remembered all of it. Just as I never forget a face, I never forget a song either. I have a really good memory, although that makes me wonder why I forgot my birthday that one time. I thanked him for showing me it, then left.

Griffin's POV

'Pinkie Pie is second best pony. Twilight is still first in my book. After teaching her that, there won't be any living with her. Maybe I should have waited for the end of the trip....... nah......'

Griffin got a bit emotional, having everyone around him is starting to bring down his walls that he's had built up for so long, and Pinkie did what she does best. I'm not too good at writing Pinkie, nor Rarity or Discord, it's just so hard to get into their heads, Rarity because I just have a distinctly different personality and thought process, while Pinks and Dissy are too random for me to emulate properly.

Food and Flag (44)

Food and Flag

Hello once again audience, when we left off, Griffin had dropped the mane six off at port and had reached the first of the Zebra Islands in the archipelago.

"Well, we're here. The Zebra Archipelago. Hard to believe it wraps around the whole ocean."

"Yep, a zigzag of islands dotting the ring sea, going all the way from the western shore of Equestria to the eastern one." Gilda said.

"So, what are we doing here anyway?" Trixie asked.

"Well, a couple things. First off, resupply. We're running out of fresh fruit and vegetables. We need to load up. Once we've done that, we'll try to find a doctor for our crew, and finally, we'll see what kind of trouble we can get into."

"Sounds good to me." Nadene replied.

"I really just hope there aren't any spiders. White Wind, when the ship drops anchor, set up a perimeter, Shimmer, you alright staying with Steelhorn?" The little dragon pulled a pair of steampunk goggles off her eyes and smiled while the minotaur patted her on the head.

"You got it, I'm helping make the rest of the scale armor. Building the laser cannon took up a lot of time, so they're not finished yet."

"Alright. Good on ya. Tiras, stay with the ship. Selma, I'd like you to come with, we might need help with negotiation." Gilda, Nadene, Maria, Etch, Growl, Selma, Trixie, and myself disembarked, while the cats dropped down on ropes that had been tossed over the edge and began setting up a temporary position under the ship, with the rangers still on board acting as lookouts. We began walking into the jungle, me taking the lead and keeping my eyes wide in case there were spiders. Thankfully, there weren't. There was however, mangos. And bananas. And coconuts. And oranges, and pineapples, and lychee fruit and a plethora of various other tropical foods. Absolutely perfect. By my advise, Steelhorn had bought canning facilities so we could store food long term. It would definitely come in handy, considering just how much was here.

"Who wants a piña colada? I took a pineapple and a coconut, slicing them both open with my sword, then pouring the juice into the coconut shell and drank some. I passed it around, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

"Now if only we had some rum to go in it..... damn Pinkie...... why is the rum always gone? Oh well, nothing we can do about that. I'm not convincing that minotaur to buy a distillery, and I don't need alcohol anyway. Just one more thing for me to get addicted to."

Scouting around, I couldn't find any villages. Where are the zebras? Shouldn't they be here? These are the zebra isles, so where are they?

"Never mind, looks like this island is a no go for civilization. Load up on food and we'll move to the next one."

Back at the ship, we began unloading the food we had gathered. Maria and Selma began canning some, while the cats ate some for lunch along with the rest of us.

"At least we'll never get scurvy. Maybe once we get our country set up, we could run back and forth between the islands for food. That way, we'll have fruit, clams, fish, and all sorts of other stuff."

"Speaking of that, Grif, do we have a flag?" Gilda asked, which surprised me. There was a flag at the top of the ship, but it was just a plain grey square. She's right, we'd have to do something about that. I walked into the on board forge, where Shimmer was blowing her lungs out heating it, while Steelhorn was hammering away on something.

"Hey, Steelhorn, mind if I change the flag?"

"Yeah, go ahead. You're captain right now, ye can do whatever ya want."

Flying up to the top spire, which was really just a small flagpole put on the ship, I took the drab piece of grey down and brought it to the crew. They all looked at me, and I just shrugged.

"What? I'm not an artist. If I try it'll turn out looking like crap. This is going to be our flag, our pride. It has to make a statement about who we are, and it has to be as awesome as we are. Anyone here know about art?"

"Don't look at me, I just kill things." Gilda replied.

"I can make paint, but I can't use it." Nadene said hanging her head.

"I deal more in light shows than paint." Trixie stated.

"I can try....." Maria offered weakly. Etch and Growl stayed quiet.

"Well, come up with a design to show me, and we'll see." Everyone else left, and I walked up to her.

"I'm glad to see you're trying. Don't worry, you'll find something you're good at. Who knows? This might be it. We all have our own little ways that we help, this could be yours. It's also good that you've been training so hard with Nadene. I'm proud of you Maria." I patted her on the head then took out some paper for her to try and come up with some designs. She was happy to be helping, even if it didn't turn out.

'Great, I'm turning into a father figure.... then again, we are family after all.'

"So? Please, be honest." I looked over her designs and cringed.

"Ehm, well, this one isn't so bad..... maybe art just isn't your thing. In fact, it's pretty much nobody's thing. The point is you tried, and, it's still better than anything I could come up with."

Growl came in and laid a single piece of paper on my desk, then walked out. On it, there was the image of Hades, (my sword, not the Greek god), pointing upwards, with two red wings flared, one on either side, coming out from the handle, on a field of white. A slight gold outline was around all the objects on it. It was good. Really good. I like it.

"Growl, wait up!" I chased after him. I found him in his room, getting his paints ready, holding a white piece of fabric. I still had the previous flag in my room, he somehow had gotten one of his own.

"Yes?" He asked innocently.

"You never told me you were an artist."

"I don't say much."

"Well, this is really good." I showed him his work. "I like it. Do it."

"Aye aye."

"Well, everyone, here we are. Our flag! The blade pointed upwards, symbolizing that we can overcome and rise above anything. The wings of red, that we buy our freedom and the freedom of others with the blood of the wicked, as well as our own! This is the flag, not only of our ship, the Possibility, but of the nation we shall found upon our victory! We are the harbingers of change!" I held my blade aloft, letting it shine in the light of the setting sun, as well as it's own faint glow. I was met with a massive cheer. The cats roared, the dogs howled, the griffins screeched, Trixie yelled 'yeah!' and I smiled.

"And let's give a cheer for Growl, who made this masterpiece of our hearts!" Another cheer rang out. They were really riled up.

"And now, let us hoist this flag, and declare ourselves to the world!" Trixie jumped on my back, strapping in her rear hooves instead of all four, as she was more comfortable with her front ones free, and held the flag between them as I flew around the ship, the cloth flapping in the wind behind us to the cheers of those on board, before flying up to the top and trying it on through metal lined holes in one side, to metal rings on the pole. There was a fairly strong wind, making the flag whip quickly. Satisfied, we flew back down, where Maria came out from below.

"Dinner's ready!" She called, to which she was nearly trampled by the hungry crew. Cobblers, pies, glazed vegetables and the like filled the mess hall. We all ate heartily. It was delicious, spiced to perfection, with all the flavours blending perfectly.

"This is really good, Maria, did you make this?"

"Well, yeah.... I mean, Selma helped, but...."

"I did no such thing, all I did was give pointers." The old hag of a cat replied.

"Well, I think it's fantastic. Where'd you learn how to cook?"

"I've just, been on my own for a while. I eventually got good at it....."

"Well, that's perfect, I mean, I can cook, but nothing near this level. Guess who just found her place on the ship. I think the crew will appreciate having some home cooked meals. And with Selma giving 'pointers', along with the fact that we're at food filled islands, we'll never go hungry. See? I told you you'd find your place."

"Well, I didn't think it would be useful, I mean, it's just cooking....."

"Just cooking? Maria, cooking is one of the most important skills a person can have. No army marches on an empty stomach. You're making sure we're all in peak health by our nutrition, don't sell yourself short. In addition to our fighting skills, I've got my science and magic, as well as strategy, Gilda has her strategy and experience, Nadene has her potions, Trixie has her magic, Growl apparently has art, both he and Etch are good at building and getting supplies, Shimmer and Steelhorn have their forging, Selma and Tiras have their charisma and wisdom in leading their own people, and you have your cooking. They're ALL important. No task is less important than any other. Pretty soon, we'll wonder how we ever got by on the raw stuff we've been eating before." She was blushing furiously.

"Oh stop it you..... sit and eat before it get's cold...."

"Yes ma'am!" I continued eating. Maria smiled, having finally found her place.

Next morning, Maria had already gotten up and started breakfast, the smell of eggs wafting down through the ship, as well as fruits.

"Here ya go!" She was wearing an apron, and had already started setting out the food. She and Selma were working overtime to get food for the 45 of us, all laughing as we ate the fantastic food.

"Well Maria, didn't I say you'd figure it out eventually, and you should stick with Selma?"

"Yes, you did...."

"And was I right?"

"Yes, you were..."

"Are you happy?" She stopped to think for a moment, then smiled.

"I am."

"That's good. We're family, and if you're happy, we're happy."

"Family.........."

After breakfast was over and I was standing on the deck, letting the wind ruffle my feathers, Maria and Growl both came to talk to me.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I, wanted to thank you." She answered.

"For what?"

"For giving me a family again."

"You know, you never told us what happened to yours. I mean, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to, just, when you're ready, we'll be here to listen."

"I, never knew my family, but I was told they were taken as slaves in the mines. I was raised by an old man, who taught me how to survive. Well, everything other than how to fight. I never knew his name, it was just, 'Geezer'. He was old, and, he got sick. Eventually, he died, and I was alone again. I left the dominion and went to Equestria. I was maybe ten when it happened. I couldn't work, so I stole to survive. I did it for years, until I eventually got caught, right before I made it to the jungle. I got careless, and made a slip up." She explained. She wasn't sad or anything. My guess is she had a long time to get over it.

"So then, you were a thief for a while.... that explains why you ran from the guards, and us. You wouldn't fight, you'd hide, or run."

"Yeah...."

"Well, that makes you a perfect match for Nadene. She's stealthy too. That should be your combat focus. I figured I'd be a brawler, but I'm actually more of a combination between that and magic class. I take other brawlers. Basically, I'm glad I have you and Nadene on my side, because you two could probably beat me, if I was on my own. I really need to work on my speed. I think from now on, I'll train wearing my scale mail, and wearing weights, so I can improve how fast I move. I think I rely on my sword too much. I guess 'll be your sparring partner from now on." She smiled, then went back inside, now it was just me and Growl.

"So, what's on your mind?"

"Nothin, just want to look at the sky." He replied stoically. We both just gazed upon the clouds, there were a few birds, and the sun hung there in the sky, making the ship glimmer in it's light.

"That was a good speech yesterday." Growl suddenly spoke.

"It was, wasn't it?"

"You said exactly what I had in mind when I made it." We both gave a bit of a chuckle.

"I'm pretty good at that, and the flag declares itself well."

We were silent for a while longer, each taking a deep breath then sighing.

"You're always so quiet, you're the only one that makes me wonder what's going on in your head. Why did you decide to come with us? You could have gone anywhere, but you went with us." I asked, and he lowered his head.

"I could have, but, I didn't. There isn't any point thinking about what would have happened if I didn't, but, the reason I joined is because of the way you carry yourself. All my life, I wanted to be an artist, to make things of beauty, instead of just dig up gems and eat them. When you spoke of freedom, of toppling the system that kept us down, letting us all be ourselves, it sparked a fire that I thought had long since gone out." He leaned over the railing.

"I see. Freedom for all. There is actually a saying where I come from, give me freedom, or give me death. The people were oppressed by royalty, who simply used them to further their greed. There was a revolution, and as the soldiers charged, that is what they cried. Better to be dead than a slave."

"The diamond dogs are slaves to their alphas, and yet, they do not realize it. The few that do speak out are killed for trying to overthrow the leader." He explained. We both sat there for a while longer.

"You know, there's a reason I called the new tribe the 'White Wind'."

"Because like a great gust, you shall wash over the land, blowing away all that is corrupt and purifying the evil and hate that plagues it." He replied, which shocked me slightly.

"How'd you know?"

"We are not so different. I am artistic, using paint and clay to form a picture, to bring feeling. You use words. We are both poetic. I am silent because I let my art speak for me, while your art is your words." He explained.

"Charisma.... Yes, I suppose you're right. Words can be just as much of an art form as lines and colour. Heh, remind me to let you design the parliament building when we start our own country."

"Parliament? I thought you would be king." He was surprised.

"Well, yes, but, I'd be more of a figurehead than an active participant. I know for a fact that running a nation is hard work, something I don't have experience with. So, I'd let the nation run itself. Each hold would elect members to represent them, who would make laws and devise plans to care for their people, and I'd be more of a..... mediator. I'd keep them in line when tensions began running, as they no doubt will, remind them that even though they're the ones running the country, I'm the one that rules it, and they bow to me. Despite what everyone believes, and what I'd like, I can't do everything. And, monarchies are too unstable. What if my successor is cruel? Or, his? As soon as someone new takes the throne, everything changes. As king, I'd only rule the council, keep them in line, change them out when needed. The council would lead the nation, and would be made up of the people. My only purpose would be to prevent them from becoming corrupt."

"Yes.... that would be a good way to do it. But what of those who come after you?"

"The next king would be chosen by me, or, if no successor is chosen, then the council would choose one, and it can't be one of them, it would be an outstanding citizen, who has proven themselves worthy, and above all, does not want the role. The only ones fit for power are those who do not seek it, but have it thrust upon them and find that they bear it well. If the king isn't working out, they'd take him out of his seat, and find a replacement. I'd set up a number of unbreakable, unchangeable rules for stuff like that, that even the king and council cannot change, and let them work the rest of it out."

"You have thought on this frequently, haven't you?" He asked.

"Indeed I have. I was actually wondering what you thought of it. You and Trixie are the only ones who have an ear for my philosophies, and you've never given input on them."

"That is because I agree with all that you have said. You hold a firm belief, and I find it to be matching my own."

"I'm glad you're here. Sometimes, I wonder if they get me at all. You know how to listen. You know how to think. You understand me, without me having to give a huge explanation. I'm not sure why you're so wise, but I'm glad you're here Growl. Anyway, we'll have more time to think about it when we get there, we should get back to work. We're moving on to the next island in an hour."

More philosophy, and Grif explained how he plans on ruling the country when he succeeds. At this point, there isn't really a matter of if anymore, it's when. Everyone believes in him. He's charismatic, and they all know in their hearts that they can do it.

Natives (45)

Natives

"Oh, hey, next island, and there's a village!" Nadene called to my room over the PA system. It works like a normal PA, except magic currents instead of electric. I mean, really? So magic is basically their version of electric fields.

"Good, tell the core group to suit up. We'll go take a look." I put on my armor and headed out to the top deck, meeting my crew there, all carrying their respective weapons and gear.

"Now, remember, we're not looking for a fight. Don't draw your weapons unless we're attacked. We're trying to get a doctor, not scare them."

"So, we're going fully armed because?"

"Rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. There's no telling how they'll react to having a bunch of foreigners here."

Leaving our ship in the usual method, this time having the crew stay on board, as we could just fly up instead of needing to walk, as Selma was not with us, we set off towards the village. Landing on the outskirts, we entered cautiously, drawing the frightened gazes of the zebras within.

"Well, so much for making a good first impression, they're already scared of us. Think it's because we're different, or because we're pirates?"

"HALT!" I spotted a pony, not a zebra, a pony guard walk up to us with his wings flared. His armor was bright and shiny. He was holding up several wanted posters. Guess who were on them?

'Shiny armor, either he just got a new set or he's new himself, judging by the way his knees are knocking, I'd say the second.'

"Beat it kiddo, we ain't here to cause trouble." Gilda scowled.

"As if I'll believe a bunch of pirates!" He lowered himself into a combat stance. Gilda was about to charge, but I held her back.

"Maria, here's a test of your combat ability. Subdue the guard." Nadene nimbly hopped off her ride, and the shy griffin stepped forward.

"Um, hi, um, I'm Maria." She dug her claw into the ground nervously.

"You're seriously sending a girl to fight me? I thought you were supposed to be big scary pirates, not wimps." The guard mocked.

"Oh? And what's wrong with being a girl! I bet I could kick your flank halfway across the ocean!" Maria got mad.

'Oho, so, she doesn't like the gender card. Let's see how this plays out.'

"Bring it on!" The guard was confident and began to snort.

"On three. And stay on the ground. It's more fun that way." I said lazily.

"One, two, three." Bored as hell. Let them go at it.

And they did. Maria dove claws first, and was met with a buck that grazed her arm. She lifted up his back legs, flipping him, only to have him flap his wings to right himself. His eyes opened in shock as the griffin pounced, he brought up his legs and they began a grapple, wings flapping in each other's faces, bludgeoning each other with them. Maria, being bigger and having better range, pushing him onto his back and held his throat in her claw.

"And ding ding ding, we have a winner. Alright Maria, put the poor sod down. Now then guard, I appreciate you trying to do your duty and all, but she's one of the weaker members of our crew. You can't hope to beat us. Besides, as Gilda said, we're not looking for trouble. Just passing through."

"Celestia damn it!" He stomped his hoof in the ground after Maria put him down.

"Whoa, dude, don't need to get so pissed off." He took off his helmet and threw it to the ground. We all just looked at his childish display.

'Seriously? A tantrum?'

"Seriously, cut it out kiddo, you're annoying me. We're way out of your league. Heck, at this point, pretty much only one of the princesses, a large number of dragons, or an army would be able to stop me, let alone my whole crew. Now, if you'll just get out of my way."

"Why are you so strong?" He asked. I just looked at him quizzically.

"Hate."

"But, what about kindness, loyalty, honesty..."

"Don't mean crap if you show them to your enemies, because they won't show you any either. The 'aspects of harmony' when among friends and allies make you a strong team, but, for individual strength, you have to have a drive. A flame that cannot be doused. Mine is hate. Tell me, what do you want in life?"

"Grif, I don't see why you're bothering with this loser." Gilda asked.

"Because, I was a loser once. So, guard, what's your name?"

"W..W...Whiplash."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear your name over the DRIBBLE coming out of your mouth. I'll ask you again, what's your NAME."

'Seriously, I don't know how this kid became a guard.'

"Whiplash sir!"

"I'm not you're drill instructor. Whiplash, tell me, what do you want in life?"

"I.... want to be a royal guard."

"What is in your way?"

"They said I wasn't good enough. Too weak, not enough discipline."

"So, how'd you end up here?"

"They said I should guard this zebra village to try and make me learn what it is to be a guard."

"So basically, you flunked out of boot camp, so instead of telling you that you failed and sending you home, they gave you some backwater post to make you THINK you were doing them a service. Pathetic."

"I know..." He hung his head low.

"And then you thought that if you could beat us, you'd be a hero, and get the respect you deserve." I didn't ask, I told.

"So, taking on someone way out of your ability, on the off chance you might beat them. Sounds like they were right about you. You gotta use your HEAD moron!" He just sat there for a second, not saying anything.

"So, you want to be a royal guard, but you are in your own way. You need to get your head out of your ass and......."

'Spider sense, tingling.... damn spiders..... okay, Griffin sense tingling.'

"Naruc, too wac merrrona!" One of the zebras shouted over and over running through the village.

"Shit! Cockatrice!" Whiplash yelled, then shouted something in the Zebrican dialect, causing them all to go inside their houses.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked as I saw him just standing there.

"I have to protect the village, it's my duty. This may be some backwater post, but I'm still gonna do my job damn it." He charged off in the direction the zebra child had come from to meet his foe head on. My entire group facepalmed/hoofed/clawed/pawed as he turned into a statue mid stride. His rock form just fell over on it's side in the dirt.

"Well, should we go bail him out?" I asked with a yawn.

"Do we have to?" Trixie whined.

"He was a dumbass who got what he deserved." Gilda replied.

"Meh." Nadene and Maria said at the same time.

"He makes a nice looking statue." Growl added.

"He was whiny." Etch complained.

I looked to see the zebra child that had come to warn us staring up at me with puppy dog eyes as the beast closed in on us.

"Nope. Sorry." I turned my head. He really turned on the waterworks. He looked sadder than Applebloom when she thought Twilight wasn't going to stay for brunch. After all, this thing was probably going to turn his whole village to stone at this rate.

"Damnit." I gave a sigh.

"Alright, let's save this stupid village. We can't get a ship's doctor if they've all been turned to stone. Growl, you've got the best ears out of everyone here, and can tell where it is just by vibrations. Close your eyes and go kick it's scaly ass." He gave a grunt of approval before heading off to meet the mutant chicken thing. He walked up to it, eyes closed, and the entire village watched frightened from behind shutters and such.

"Bwak, BUGOOOOOCK!" The cockatrice shrieked as it charged. Growl was the epitome of calm. As it leapt into the air, flapping it's wings, the diamond dog struck out with his spear, impaling it's left wing. It dropped to the ground screaming as he drew it back and thrust it forward, right into it's mouth, goring it. When it died, Whiplash turned back into a pegasus pony, as opposed to a pegasus statue, and stumbled on the ground, trying to get up. Growl cast 'ignis' with the charged gem, cooking the thing on his spear like it was a roasting spit, before taking a bite out of the cooked meat.

'What the hell! Growl's a badass.'

"Growl, that was.... I think you forgot these." I put my pair of sunglasses over his eyes.

"There, that's better." He just shrugged.

'No! You look awesome like that with those on! Sometimes I swear my humor and style is wasted on these guys.'

"Wha... what?" Whiplash looked to see the tall dog take another bite out of the roast cockatrice.

"Ya dun goofed mah boi. Seriously? Didn't you know that they can turn you to stone with a stare?"

"Umm...."

"Never mind, don't answer that. You suck. Shimmer could beat you and she's only thirteen. She's a dragon, but, that's besides the point." He just grumbled dissatisfied.

"Whatever, just, direct us to a doctor who can speak the same language we do."

"I doubt you'll find anyzebra like that." He replied. Anyzebra? You've got to be kidding me.

"Why not?"

"Because most zebras speak their own language, which you heard earlier. Finding a doctor who speaks Equestrian in the isles is probably impossible." He explained.

"Great. So they all speak a different language. This is going to be a long trip. Searching every island for someone who speaks the same way we do AND is a skilled surgeon is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack in a field of haystacks. Might as well not even look. If my luck holds out, we'll just run into someone who fits the requirements." I gave another sigh.

"Screw it, we're not gonna find anything on these islands. Let's just gather up as much food as we possibly can on another uninhabited island, travel the whole route real quick, making note of which ones have loads of fruit, then hit the dominion, drop off our supply and initiate the next phase of the plan. As long as we have healing spells and potions, we should be fine for most doctor needs. Unless one of us gets shrapnel lodged in us and needs surgery, we'll be fine. Even then, I majored in biology. I could probably do it."

"So, wait, you're just leaving?" Whiplash asked as a number of zebra hunters walked by, obviously coming to kill the cockatrice which Growl had just finished eating.

"Yeah."

"You're not gonna teach me how to fight, help me get stronger?"

"Nope. You're on your own kid."

"But...."

"Listen, we're pirates, not heroes. We don't go around helping everyone along the way, we've got our own plans. You want to learn how to fight? Get the zebras to help you. Come to think of it, that's probably why they sent you here in the first place, it's not all that important, the zebras know how to protect themselves, you're just maintaining a presence here. They sent you here so the natives could teach you to buck up. Start using your noggin. THINK, and then you won't have to apologize to anyone, because you would have done something right for once."

At which point I thought of the 'Quest Failed' message and sound from Fallout 3 when you kill an important NPC.

'Wait a minute, I gave him advice. So, I may not get the big quest reward because I solved it with speechcraft, but who cares, there's nobody tracking my progress right? Right? I gotta stop doing this to myself.'

"So long Whiplash, if we meet again, try not to suck so much that you get beaten by a little girl!" I taunted as we flew off towards the ship. Most of the cats were sprawled out napping, as it was midday, and continued to do so as we flew over the village in our magnificent airship, heading towards the next island.

Dear Princess Celestia,

So, are Twilight and her friends home yet? I hope they make it home safe and sound. Who am I kidding, I know they do, I've seen the future, and they're all fine. Speaking of the future, at the national dessert competition, make sure to sneak a slice of cake before Pinkie eats the whole winning entry. I KNOW how much you like cake, and I'd hate for you to miss out. I'd tell you to save me a slice, but no matter how good it is, I don't think it's worth going to prison for.

I told Twilight how I perform my magic, but I didn't give her any of the specifics. I think she'll be really frustrated when she tries it and it doesn't work. I wish I could see her face when she realizes she can't research it.

I also like my new wanted poster. The picture is nice. I'm not sure when, but Rarity snapped a photo of me in my new armor. 4000? Celestia you flatter me! I didn't think I was worth that much. Then again, my crimes have been pretty minor compared to the other criminals I ran into. By the way, you're welcome, 21000 bits worth of vicious criminals are no longer climbin in yo windows, snatchin yo ponies up. Let's see, what else, oh! I almost forgot,

Have you ever seen a troll? I know for a fact one of them lives in your bathroom mirror. Try and find it!

Sincerely, The dashing rogue, Griffin.

Ps: Please tell me you hate spiders as much as I do.

Lies And Slander (46)

Lies And Slander

"So, this is island number.... 8, Uninhabited, large, jungle type, low food resources, harpies nest here over the summer... avoid unless well armed. Alright, lets move on to the next one." I said calmly as another wave of arrows and a shot from the laser cannon left the ship, ripping the bird like fiends to pieces and setting them ablaze as they futilely attempted to scratch a hole in our armored balloon. The rangers had taken to shooting them down, while the Lemko cats, all using spears instead of swords and axes, skewered them when they reached the deck. The flyers and our mounts were circling, picking off any that were on the ship. Shimmer was lighting them ablaze from Gilda's back, while she shredded them with her claws. Maria was nimbly dodging them, while Nadene cut them apart as they flew past. I was hacking away at them while singing a merry tune.

"Oh a reaping I will go! A reaping I will go! Hi ho the dairy oh! A reaping I will go! Come! Sing with me!" I called merrily, bringing laughs from the rest of my crew as they continued to slice the attackers apart.

'These things have obviously never played Starcraft. Zerg rushes only work when the opponent hasn't built up their defenses yet.'

Constantly being set on fire by the laser, as well as burning arrows, there was a literal rain of fire over the ocean as the corpses of harpies blazed as they fell. After ten minutes and about three hundred of the half bird, half pony, all ugly harpies slashed, burned, shredded, or all three by the laser as it passed through multiple enemies, they gave up and flew back to their nests to lick their wounds. We flew back to the ship, and the cats let out a cheer. Some of them had taken to cooking the things with their own gems spears, following Growl's example. Hey? Why not? It's meat, it's non toxic, and best of all, it's free! So, it looks a little bit like a pony. Who cares.... oh, yeah, Trixie does. She went and hid in her room till the feast was over. She didn't complain, she knows we're omnivorous, but that doesn't change the fact that she didn't like it.

"Well, that was fun. We really ought to do it again some time. Heck, we could probably vacate the old dominion and have the griffins live in the isles and jungle."

"You know Grif, that's not a bad idea. Sure, not many gems by comparison, but, we don't eat them. We really have no need for them. The islands and jungle are full of life, food, rainwater, everything we need. We could all just migrate down here, maybe go south of the equator." Gilda replied.

"Well, first we need to free the slaves, so we still need to invade Gem Fido, but, we could take everyone who isn't fighting and tell them to head south to a meeting point. Get out of the frozen north. We'll have to think about it."

"Islands number 12, 14, 17, 21, and 25 are uninhabited, overflowing with food. Prime locations, ready to be colonized, numbers 2-6 are zebra settlements, 7 is too small, 8 through 10 are harpy nests, 11 is barren. The others are too rocky, steep cliffs, volcanic or inhabited by dangerous beasts. Only another *Yawn* 60 to go....." I slouched in the captain's chair. Steelhorn was still busy working at the forge. Shimmer was getting quite a set of lungs on her, able to keep up a solid stream of flame for five whole minutes before needing to breathe in again. Growl was making charts, being the only one with any drawing skill at all.

"Let's see, island number 26..... Huh? Docks? Port town!" I jumped from the chair to get a better look through the front window. Sure enough, a port, full of ships of the oceanic and sky variety, all bearing the Equestrian flag.

"Gilda, Maria, you're with me." We quickly left the ship, grabbing nearby clouds and lumping them together around the vessel. It was night, and when dawn came, we'd be like a second sun. We didn't want to attract attention. Confident that we were well hidden, the clouds staying in place around the ship, despite the ocean breeze, we geared up and headed out. We were wearing white cloaks that would cover our bodies, and more importantly, our weapons, so we could enter the town inconspicuously. They were basically togas, white sheets that were bunched up around our necks, so we could put it over our mouths, (kind of like what you'd expect someone in a desert to wear, except in white), that flowed over our entire bodies, hiding our blades and bows. Of course, they weren't meant to conceal that we had weapons, more what they were. What other group runs around carrying weapons made from dragon nibblets? The cloth itself was breathable, but warm so the cool ocean breeze didn't chill us. I hope the disguise works.

"Alright, papers please." A guard pony asked upon looking at us. Papers? Oh fuck!

"Huh? Well, that's different. Why you wearing garb like that?" Damnit. Wait! I know!

"The desert orchid has no need of your 'papers', she goes where she pleases." Trixie picked up on my improv cue right away. We had been practicing improv before, how to make up a believable story on the spot. I basically just set her up as a dune princess. Explains the cloak, as we would have been wearing something like this to keep the sand away, as well as why she's riding me.

"Desert orchid or not, This is a military base. I need to know who you are and your business in these waters, as well as how you came to be here." Come on Trix, do your thing. It's what you were born to do. Lie till your tongue turns black.

"And peon, who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do? I am Karin, the princess of the southern dunes and priestess of the singing cloud. My business in my own. I go where I please, now out of my way." I watched the inspection officer gulped and backed away, visibly shrinking under the 'Desert Princess's' gaze.

"M'lady, I apologize, you should not have had to strain your tongue in dealing with this common rabble. I will glady accept any punishment you see fit my my failure." I hung my head low.

"Nazeem, you have always served me faithfully. Your folly is forgiven, this time." She gave a smirk as we sauntered past the stunned guard, the rest of my crew following.

"Well well, Karin, nice work."

"Thank you Nazeem, despite what you might believe, I listen when you talk of your home, especially the cultures. Since you made me out as a 'desert orchid', I figured I'd give us eastern names." She laughed.

"See? It pays to be prepared for this kind of thing. I suspect you all know your roles? The silent guards. We'll just investigate this a bit, then we'll head out, it won't take too long."

We wandered through the town, getting a couple glances, but, since Etch and Growl drew their spears on either side, Gilda was up front, and Nadene behind in a kind of armored car formation, all the while everyone looking as regal as possible, they weren't the 'bad' kind of glances. They were the curious, interested glances, wondering what someone like that might be doing here. We were approached by a grey stallion, with a fancy moustache and the rich snob air about him. Green mane, Rarity would hate him.

"Princess Karin, m'lady! It is such an honour for you to visit our humble port. I am Mayor Highclass, and this is my assistant, Quill." He motioned to a typical book-keeper pony, nerd glasses, oily mane, never been in the sun.

"Please, accompany me to my manor and allow me to show you and your guards some hospitality, you have traveled a long way." He bowed to kiss her hoof. She looked quite taken with his offer.

"M'lady, need I remind you we have a schedule to keep?" I didn't like where this was going. She leaned down to whisper to me.

"Grif, we're trying to find out more about this place, wouldn't it be best to take him up on his offer?"

"Yeah, but that's only a side goal, we don't really need this, although, we could get some supply here, if you know what I mean."

"I'm always up for theft."

"Alright, we'll do it." I turned my head away and looked saddened.

"Many apologies Highclass, Nazeem here seemed to have forgotten his place. All corrected quickly however." Trixie smiled.

"Aha! A mare of action and strength, quite respectable. We must always make sure the common filth know their place. Please, follow me." He trotted ahead, the crew taking up the formation again to put distance between the two of them.

"Grif, is this a good idea?" Gilda whispered back.

"He's smitten with Trixie, so, we're gonna use that to take him for everything he's willing to give."

"Alright, if you're sure."

"Of course I'm sure, with all of us here, what could go wrong?"

"Ah yes, my home, welcome. Make yourselves comfortable. I shall bring tea momentarily." He left to go get the offered drink. We spread ourselves out.

"Changed my mind, Trix, I don't like this. He's a creeper, and not one of the exploding ones. I'd prefer them to this guy. He gives me a nasty vibe." They all looked at me, wondering what a green exploding creeper was, before dismissing it as a human thing.

"I agree, I don't like this." Nadene added.

"It'll be fine." She reassured us. Highclass returned a few minutes later, carrying cups for all of us, plus himself.

'Odd, we're just the guards, servants, why do we get tea?' Etch, Growl, and Nadene picked up their cups and each took a sniff before putting them down, not taking a drink. Trixie levitated hers up and began to sip from it.

"Well now, Princess Karin, the Desert Orchid, Priestess of the singing cloud, what brings you to my humble town?" He asked.

"I would hardly call it humble. A rather fantastic town, the base of operations for Equestrian military on the islands is it not?"

"Ah, indeed, I see you have a sharp eye and wit. No doubt you are a fine ruler of... where was it again?"

"The southern dunes. Across the great desert." She looked a little nervous at all the questions he was asking, so she took another sip of tea. It only made her sweat more. For some reason, he was sweating as well. That's strange, he's used to the temperature here.... so are we..... and we're not sweating. I don't like it.

"Ah, yes, how foalish of me to forget. I can't help but notice you didn't dock at port, how did you come to arrive here?" Shit, he's on to us! He's sweating because the rest of us didn't touch our drinks! He drugged it!

"Mr. Highclass, I think a better question is what did you put in our tea?" He recoiled when I said that, Trixie spitting out the mouthful she had and dropping her cup.

"Nazeem, or, should I say, Griffin the griffin, I was told you were a pirate. Pirates are usually dumb brutes are they not?"

"Only the dead ones." Everybody jumped up, drawing their weapons and getting into battle stance.

"Oh please, sit, have some tea." He stomped his hoof on the ground, a VERY large number of royal guards surrounding us from the adjacent rooms. The dogs growled, Nadene hissed, Gilda and I scowled, Maria tensed, about to flee. Trixie slept.

"Very clever mayor. Drugging us to sleep so you could take us into custody. You have to be the least stupid person to try and catch us yet. Although, that's not saying much since they've all been morons up till now. Except that we didn't fall for it. Well, except Trixie, but she had a role to play."

"Yes, that is unfortunate, although, with all the exits sealed off, and the room filled with guards, how do you plan to escape?" He hummed merrily. I drew my sword and pointed it at him. The guards lowered their stances.

"One step closer and the mayor gets a new haircut. By the way, I have no idea how to cut hair, I might make a mess." They all stepped back, keeping themselves on guard.

"You must know that you cannot escape from here." He laughed.

"Well, we'll just see about that. I am wondering something though, how'd you know it was us?"

"Simple, because I happen to know the princess of the southern dunes. She passed through here three years ago looking for an old friend, and she was NOT a pony. I came down to meet her, and to my surprise, it wasn't her I saw. It wasn't all that hard to put the facts together. If I had not known her from before, I would have never figured it out." He explained.

"So, lady luck decides she doesn't like me after all. That's depressing, I thought I was on good terms with chance. A good plan you have here, but poorly executed I'm afraid."

"How so? I have you in the center of the city, surrounded by guards. You can't possibly fight your way out through this many." He stated. I saw a familiar bundle of clouds in the distance, slowly moving over the town.

"Ventus."

"What? What does that mean?"

I swung my sword, leading with the flat. I used my sword to create a gust like a fan, then amplifyed it. It blew a fair mass of guards out of the way of the window, which we then dove through. Shimmer popped out just as Gilda left to send a spout of fire into the room, not enough to make it catch, but enough to cause them all to recoil for a moment. I grabbed a blood vial, drank it, and recharged my sword.

"Obscuro." And we vanished. As soon as the guards had stopped shielding their eyes from the smoke and flame, we were gone. We flew to the clouds, landed on the ship, and slowly drifted away from the town unseen due to our vapor cover.

"Well Trixie, nice of you to wake up."

"Wha, what happened?"

"Mr. Highclass offering us hospitality.... IT'S A TRAP! As it turns out, he actually KNOWS the princess of the southern dunes of the great desert. We made up a story, but had no idea of it's relation to the real world. I didn't see any desert on the map though...."

"Well, most don't know what's down south. Maybe a few do, but they aren't sharing, and it hasn't been explored enough to chart it." Gilda explained.

"Well, kind of sucks our cover was blown. We gotta be more careful in the future, and don't eat or drink anything we didn't make ourselves. For us, it pays to be paranoid."

"Sorry Grif, I, screwed up didn't I?" Trixie looked sad.

"Yeah, but, don't worry about it. So, we didn't learn anything about this port, and we didn't get any supplies out of Highclass, and we almost got caught, so what? You've been doing good so far, we all run out of luck eventually and have to figure another way out of it. So, coming here was a complete waste of time. It happens. Which is why we're always there to bail each other out. Everybody messes up. And, it's just as much my fault for giving us a bad alibi and going along with him. There's just some stuff you can't plan for."

Dear Princess Luna,

Today I learned that no matter how hard you try to plan for the future, no matter what preparations you make, not everything is within control. Basically,

Shit happens.

And when it does, when you mess up, you can count on your friends to help you out.

Sincerely, Trixie.

Ps: Twilight writes your sister friendship reports, I think I'll write you some of my own.

Why Was School Never This Fun? (47)

Why Was School Never This Fun?

"Alright, so, the next one is easy. Tremor. It means the same thing. Basically, an earthquake spell. Tempesta, tempest, storm. The modern language is based off Latin, so, by thinking of a word and it's synonyms, you can often derive the spell-word. Invisible, hide, obscure, you can use obscuro for this, or you can use umbra, which means shadow. But umbra also means silence. Ignis can mean fire or lightning, depending on circumstance, since lightning would often cause fires when it struck trees, so they let you use the same word. Acceo is fetch, for getting something you can't reach, repello is repel. Protego is protect. Basically, if you want to do something, think of the words in this language for what you want, then derive their Latin form." There was a lot of free time as we traveled. Not much to do, plenty of food, fully armed, and training just about finished. The crew now had their own rainbow scale armor, while the tribe stuck with their own bone and scale gear. It wasn't as good as the stuff Steelhorn and Shimmer made, but, it was still better than plain iron or steel by far.

"So, what if we want to take someone's weapon or shield away?" Gilda asked.

"Expelli armas. 'Thrust arms' Expelli, expel. Armas, armaments. So, basically, pushing their armaments away."

"What about music?" Trixie asked.

"What about it?"

"Well, I don't know of any unicorn spells that let you play sounds directly from your mind."

"Music, musica. Mind, memory, memoria. So....." I took a wand.

"Musica a memoria."

"Hey, it's working!" About fifteen seconds in, it stopped, as the gem had run out of juice.

"Orchestra? Really Grif?" Gilda scoffed with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't judge me."

"Don't you have something, you know, cooler?"

"Cooler?" Only Gilda could think Game of Thrones was uncool.

"You know, more awesome?" I stood there more a moment before getting a sly grin.

"Well then, you asked for it, don't say I didn't warn you. Trix, keep the gem charged so the spell doesn't wear off."

I cast the spell again, with Trixie keeping it charged constantly so it would last the entire song. Rather than an instant use, it slowly discharged as it was used up, but being recharged by the unicorn faster than it could drain meant that it would last the length of the song.

"Let's see what you think of THIS!"

The song started with a mid paced, steady strumming, followed by a guitar entrance. Jaws dropped as the rest of the band joined in, Trixie barely remembering she had a job to do. The cats were wide eyed, the dogs as well, while Gilda grinned maniacally like she had an adrenaline high from the excitement. Then, I began to sing.

To the sound of a heartbeat pounding away
To the rhythm of the awful rusted machines
We toss and turn but don't sleep
Each breath we take makes us thieves
Like causes without rebels
Just talk but promise nothing else

We crawl on our knees for you
Under a sky no longer blue
We sweat all day long for you
But we sow seeds to see us through
'Cause sometimes dreams just don't come true
We wait to reap what we are due

To the rhythm of a time bomb ticking away
And the blare of the sirens combing the streets
Chased down like dogs we run from
Your grasp until the sun comes up

We crawl on our knees for you
Under a sky no longer blue
We sweat all day long for you
But we sow seeds to see us through
'Cause sometimes dreams just don't come true
Look now at what they've done to you

White needle's buried in the red
The engine roars and then it gives
But never dies
'Cause we don't live
We just survive
On the scraps that you throw away

The calm guitar solo came around, and Gilda looked like she was about to cry, but have an awesome spazz session at the same time. After all, this song related DIRECTLY to her and the griffins who were enslaved, as well as the dogs who were also victims of the system.

I won't crawl on my knees for you
I won't believe the lies that hide the truth
I won't sweat one more drop for you
'Cause we are the rust upon your gears
We are the insect in your ears
We crawl
We crawl
We crawl... all over you!

We sow seeds to see us through
Our days are precious and so few
We all reap what we are due
Under this sky no longer blue
We bring the dawn long overdue
We crawl
We crawl
We crawl... ALL OVER YOU!

"So, 'awesome' enough for you?" I practically spat.

"What the hell! That was freaking badass! Is all Earth music that cool?" Gilda asked after regaining her senses.

"Well, again, a lot of it is crap, but there's a load of good stuff too. All depends on who made it."

"That song was....."

"It was about revolution, the oppressed biding their time, gathering in numbers and strength, running, hiding, till they can overthrow their oppressors." I explained nonchalantly. I couldn't tell how she felt, mostly because she was probably a swirling mix of emotion. After all, this song is basically a songified version of her life, and put in the amazing form of rock music, she probably didn't know what to think.

"Well, I don't see much use for this spell, other than motivation and morale, or partying. Next time we land, I want you all to practice the spells I taught you, and using different ones based on the same word but varying intent. Class dismissed." And with that, the tribe left to continue their duties. My crew remained behind with me.

"Grif, that song...." Trixie said.

"Yeah?"

"Are there more like it?" Maria asked.

"Yeah, quite a few actually, although I don't know them all very well."

"For such a thing to be so prominent in your lives, that there are so many songs about it....." Nadene this time.

"Yeah, throughout history, humans have always been fighting each other, for one thing or another. Differences in belief, race, origin, wealth, we're always fighting for something. It's what we do."

"Then, what about here? If we succeed, you'll have no need to fight anymore. Then what?" The cat asked.

"Well, things will be unstable for a while, strained. Odds are we'll have rebellions of our own, people trying to make things go back to the old way, or taking power for themselves. It's definitely not going to become stable in my lifetime. Nope, I don't think I'll ever get to retire, well, unless I can find someone to take over once I get old. But, that's still a long ways off. That and, after taking over an entire country, I'll probably be tired of fighting. Then I'll just kick my addiction, and spend the rest of my life taking care of everyone else and partying in between."

"Attention crew, ship spotted directly ahead." Steelhorn's voice came over the PA. I walked up and pressed a button on it.

"Ascend above the clouds and hold position, it's night and they haven't spotted us, let us scout it out first. You know the signals. Nothing, and you just continue on your course, green is all clear, yellow is flee, red is attack. Everyone, gear up and take positions. Etch, Growl, since we're scouting over water, you two stay on the ship and direct the crew. Everyone else, to your stations."

We all geared up in our rainbow scale armor, which looks fantastic on me, but on Gilda..... *whistle* ... and now is not the time to be thinking about that. Damn it, get your head in the game. Trixie on me, Shimmer on Gilda, Nadene on Maria, we descended from the clouds, taking bits of it with us for cover, peeking out from inside once in a while.

'Beep beep, I'm a cloud. Oh confound it all.'

"Let's see, that's not the Equestrian flag. I don't recognize it."

"Hmm, I don't know if the zebras have flags or not, but it's a dog with a gem in it's mouth, so I think it's pretty obvious. Having an off day Grif?" Gilda scolded.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just tired from ripping out my brain and giving a piece of it to each member of the tribe."

"Plan?" Maria asked simply.

"We don't know what they have on board, if it's loot or prisoners or what, either way, if we sink them, we'll lose whatever is on board."

"So, invisible then?" Trixie suggested.

"Yeah, only, do it on Maria and Nadene. They're the stealthiest of us, and we need to be out here to give the signal if need be. Get close, try and see in the port holes, see what they have."

"Got it." With a slight flash, the pair turned translucent to us, but invisible to all others, then flew towards the ship while we waited atop the clouds. After about ten minutes or so, they returned.

"So?"

"Zebra slaves. Although, why are they coming this far out to get slaves?" Nadene asked.

"Griffins are harder to get because we can fly, they can't raid Equestria because of the guard, so, they're traveling long distance to get zebras. They're strong, don't have magic or flight, and are far from backup. Though, for them to expend this much effort trying to get slaves..."

"It means their payment is due. They probably have a deal with a dragon, and they know they won't come up with enough gems so..." Gilda trailed off.

"They're capturing them to feed it." I finished. The crew gulped. This did not bode well.

"So, we let them go, in which case they get fed to dragons, we save them, in which case other slaves get fed to dragons, or, option three, more difficult and dangerous, but the payoff is huge."

"And option three is?" Maria asked.

"We bust the deal."

"What?" Gilda asked.

"Our whole point is making it so stuff like this doesn't happen. We can't pick either of the first options because it goes against everything we know. I say, we follow this ship from cloud cover as it makes it's way north, and when the dragon shows up to collect it's due, we kill it, saving everyone. Then, we point our blades at the pack. They'll be easily overcome, since they don't have the forces or weapons to deal with a dragon, and demoralized against us because we just killed it. Shock and awe. Not only are they not able to fight well, they won't want to. Some will desert the lair, others will surrender to us in hopes of being spared. We'll have the backing of the zebras they captured. This is the opportunity we've been waiting for. They might just surrender outright, although that may just be wishful thinking. Basically, we can just follow them right back to their home and take it when we get there. Back to the ship, we have plans to make."

"So, we're gonna raid a poorly defended hole full of precious gems? Heck, I'm with ya." I knew I could count on you Steelhorn!

"Yep, we just follow the bunny rabbit back to it's warren, then take the whole thing for ourselves, free the slaves, get to be heroes, and advance our plan while we're at it. Win-win-win. First, let's figure out where they're going. Get the chart."

Taking out the map, placed a ruler along the D-dog ship's present course. Etch and Growl looked over the line and pointed to a specific point where they knew a den was.

"This is the home of our old allies, before the Alpha was slain and our pack taken. By the flag you have described, it is they." Growl stated.

"We know the way in their tunnels. We were alpha's guards before slaves, and he often went there to talk with their alpha. They are not strong, but also do not have much compared to the other holds, which is why they have not been attacked. If they have made deal with dragon, they did not do it for greed, they did it for fear." Etch explained.

"Well then, looks like we'll be liberating the slaves as well as the slavers. Sure, they might not have much, but it's a start. Easy to take, and we can train and arm them ourselves. After all, we'll have a very mean dragon to make stuff out of. Who's in?"

"Aye." Gilda said.

"Aye." Etch.

"Aye." Growl.

"Aye." Trixie.

"Aye." Nadene.

"Aye." Shimmer, in a high pitched, absolutely adorable voice.

"Aye." Steelhorn, with his typical Scottish accent.

"Wherever you go, we shall follow." Selma and Tiras.

"Well then it's unanimous. In two weeks, we will arrive, and we will take Ruby Hollow!"

Dear Princess Celestia,

A couple things. Geez, the letters I write to you just keep getting longer and longer, but, this is important. First topic,

I feel I owe you an explanation regarding my previous letter. In my own dimension, I was able to look into others, and I saw various events, as well as heard about other events that were set to be shown in the near future, kind of like a program at a concert, telling you what's playing next. Anyways, when I came here, I went back in time by (I think, not entirely sure) eight months, which is how I know of certain events that have yet to occur.

The second reason for this letter is related to the first, and is a warning. I'm trying to help here, so listen carefully. Around the time of the royal wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence, there will be a threat against Canterlot and Equestria as a whole. I don't know the specifics, because they haven't been shown yet, all I know is the gist of it. I don't know who, or what, it is, what the goal is, or the plan, nor do I know how to stop it. All I know is that it is coming. Be on guard.

The third manner I am addressing is the state of affairs in the north. You know quite well what's going on up there. Dragons threatening diamond dogs for gems, and they have to take slaves in order to meet the quota or else they all get eaten. I recently intercepted a boat of zebra slaves, and we have deduced that the dogs of this particular hold were not able to come up with enough gems to feed the hungry dragon, and so are going to feed it the slaves to spare themselves. I intend to slay the dragon, conquer the hold, and free the slaves. Hopefully, being freed from their oppression by the dragon will cause the dogs to surrender, but, if that is not the case, we have a fair quantity of sleeping gas which we will use to subdue the warren peacefully. The world is changing, and I'm here to make sure it changes for the better. So, basically, what I'm saying is,

Wish me luck.

Finally, this wouldn't be a letter from me if I didn't ask you a question, so,

Trixie has decided to start sending friendship reports to your sister, How does that make you feel?

Sincerely, your friendly extradimensional revolutionary, Griffin.

Ps: One day, I'm going to found my own nation of liberated griffins, diamond dogs, ponies, and whoever else is being oppressed, if I live that long. I hope if and when the time comes, we can be friends. I'm pretty sure I'll be needing your help, I am kind of new to this whole thing, and while I know it won't be nearly as good as Equestria is, I want to make it the best it can be. Here's to us meeting face to face one day, and not on opposite sides of prison bars.

Letters Again (48)

Letters Again

"Oh Luuuuuuna. Guess what I've got?" Celestia called out with a playful tone.

"Letters?" The younger sister asked.

"Of course! My faithful student and her friends arrived in Ponyville, safe and sound, just like Griffin said they would. Perhaps I should place a little more faith in him. Enough of that, first letter, and it's for me."

Dear Princess Celestia,

So, are Twilight and her friends home yet? I hope they make it home safe and sound. Who am I kidding, I know they do, I've seen the future, and they're all fine. Speaking of the future, at the national dessert competition, make sure to sneak a slice of cake before Pinkie eats the whole winning entry. I KNOW how much you like cake, and I'd hate for you to miss out. I'd tell you to save me a slice, but no matter how good it is, I don't think it's worth going to prison for.

I told Twilight how I perform my magic, but I didn't give her any of the specifics. I think she'll be really frustrated when she tries it and it doesn't work. I wish I could see her face when she realizes she can't research it.

I also like my new wanted poster. The picture is nice. I'm not sure when, but Rarity snapped a photo of me in my new armor. 4000? Celestia you flatter me! I didn't think I was worth that much. Then again, my crimes have been pretty minor compared to the other criminals I ran into. By the way, you're welcome, 21000 bits worth of vicious criminals are no longer climbin in yo windows, snatchin yo ponies up. Let's see, what else, oh! I almost forgot,

Have you ever seen a troll? I know for a fact one of them lives in your bathroom mirror. Try and find it!

Sincerely, The dashing rogue, Griffin.

Ps: Please tell me you hate spiders as much as I do.

"Well, that's..... interesting. Only the most skilled of unicorns could see the future, and it's not something that is done often, as it fills the mind with worry, although I do appreciate being forewarned about the cake. Far too often have I not been able to partake, due to an overzealous crowd digging in. I swear, I'm their princess and they show me unending respect and patience when it comes to everything except sweets." She huffed. Luna giggled.

"I wish I could have seen her face as well. I haven't seen her since she returned, and while remaining professional, she definitely voiced her frustrations at being unable to discover what Griffin apparently did so easily. And now he takes having a high bounty as a compliment? Well, his crimes HAVE been minor compared to other criminals, and given their nature, he would spend a maximum of one year in prison, if he was cooperative. The deaths of those diamond dogs were due to their greed, and while we would have given a lesser sentence than death, it would have been severe. Kidnapping, especially royalty, is a high crime. It's also quite a relief to know that such dangerous fiends are off the streets. A while ago there were a number of murderers and such that had been turned in, he probably had something to do with it."

"See sister? Perhaps Griffin is not so terrible after all." Luna stated. "After all, he prevented the murder of one who is now considered a hero, exposing the corruption of the mayor, rescued your nephew, protected Twilight Sparkle and her friends from a dragon attack, turned in a large number of wanted criminals. Sure, he has committed theft, prison break, and assault, but the nature of those crimes is minor at best, they were all in self defense, and considering his outstanding list of achievements for the betterment of Equestria, surely those can be overlooked."

"True enough, but we still need to interrogate him, learn everything we can, and also determine his intent. Twilight explained it briefly, but I want to hear it from him, which is why the wanted poster states 'Alive' only." Celestia responded.

"Now, the question. Have I ever seen a.... troll? There's one of them in my bathroom mirror? I have in fact seen a troll, they live in mountainous regions, or, lived I should say. They were a very nasty and violent species, like manticores, and they refused to confine themselves, often rampaging through villages near their nesting grounds. Eventually, the ponies got sick of it and killed them whenever they came to town, causing them to die out. One in my bathroom mirror however? I, don't understand."

"Sister, when you look in a mirror, what do you see?" Luna asked.

"I see myself of course."

"Exactly."

"Are you saying he...."

"He's calling you a troll Celly."

"Why that little, first he is pleasant, then turns to insults!"

"Perhaps trolls are something different in his culture?"

"Unlikely, although, possible. I'll be sure to ask him. Next letter, and it's for you."

Dear Princess Luna,

Today I learned that no matter how hard you try to plan for the future, no matter what preparations you make, not everything is within control. Basically,

Shit happens.

And when it does, when you mess up, you can count on your friends to help you out.

Sincerely, Trixie.

Ps: Twilight writes your sister friendship reports, I think I'll write you some of my own.

"Oh, and it looks like yet another has set their sights on me. I'm becoming ever more popular lately. I'll be recieving friendship reports from Trixie now. Didn't she used to be a showpony?"

"Yes, she was mentioned in one of my student's letters, where by her bragging, an ursa minor came to town, and she was unable to stop it as she claimed. The town was nearly destroyed. It seems she learned her lesson though, and is now learning more of them, and has decided to write to YOU about her findings."

"Should I feel, honoured?"

"Indeed, it is not often that somepony will chose to share their innermost feelings, their own weaknesses and follies, and how they have grown with another of their own accord. She may see you as a role model, considering that you both have been rather, misunderstood."

"Well then, I look forward to receiving more letters from Trixie. They are certainly more.... colourful.... than your own student's writings. Final letter, and this one is quite long."

Dear Princess Celestia,

A couple things. Geez, the letters I write to you just keep getting longer and longer, but, this is important. First topic,

I feel I owe you an explanation regarding my previous letter. In my own dimension, I was able to look into others, and I saw various events, as well as heard about other events that were set to be shown in the near future, kind of like a program at a concert, telling you what's playing next. Anyways, when I came here, I went back in time by (I think, not entirely sure) eight months, which is how I know of certain events that have yet to occur.

"Well, that explains a lot. Slightly disturbing that beings from another dimension are watching us at certain points, but, if they're all as.... 'benevolent' as Griffin makes himself out to be, then we are in good hooves. Besides, while they may watch us, very rarely are they able to come for a visit, and for the most part, they have been trying to help. Echo, for example, is one such being, and is now considered a hero. Griffin I'm sure will follow suit, however misguided his methods may be, his heart in in the right place."

The second reason for this letter is related to the first, and is a warning. I'm trying to help here, so listen carefully. Around the time of the royal wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence, there will be a threat against Canterlot and Equestria as a whole. I don't know the specifics, because they haven't been shown yet, all I know is the gist of it. I don't know who, or what, it is, what the goal is, or the plan, nor do I know how to stop it. All I know is that it is coming. Be on guard.

Celestia and Luna sat there for a moment, letting the words sink in, swallowing hard. A threat against Equestria, and even he doesn't know the details about it.

"Well, considering that they haven't told anypony about their wedding besides us, that validates his explanation. Still, an attack on Canterlot, at the same time as the wedding? This does not bode well. I wish for them to enjoy their wedding, but, Equestria comes first. I hope I don't put too much pressure on Shining Armor, having him defend the city and plan his wedding at the same time, it's only two months away. I am glad to have the warning though. While I refuse to look into the future myself for fear of becoming paranoid, this information is critical, and I am thankful to have it."

The third manner I am addressing is the state of affairs in the north. You know quite well what's going on up there. Dragons threatening diamond dogs for gems, and they have to take slaves in order to meet the quota or else they all get eaten. I recently intercepted a boat of zebra slaves, and we have deduced that the dogs of this particular hold were not able to come up with enough gems to feed the hungry dragon, and so are going to feed it the slaves to spare themselves. I intend to slay the dragon, conquer the hold, and free the slaves. Hopefully, being freed from their oppression by the dragon will cause the dogs to surrender, but, if that is not the case, we have a fair quantity of sleeping gas which we will use to subdue the warren peacefully. The world is changing, and I'm here to make sure it changes for the better. So, basically, what I'm saying is,

Wish me luck.

"I see, so, when Twilight explained his goals, she was correct. I am glad to hear it from him however. His motives are clear, and he plans nothing less than the freedom and prosperity of a kind long oppressed, through as peaceful a means as possible, AND correcting a mistake I made nine hundred years ago. Basically, despite all that we've been through, and our differences, he's asking for my blessing on this endeavor." Celestia suddenly wore a warm smile and gave a satisfied sigh.

Finally, this wouldn't be a letter from me if I didn't ask you a question, so,

Trixie has decided to start sending friendship reports to your sister, How does that make you feel?

Sincerely, your friendly extradimensional revolutionary, Griffin.

Ps: One day, I'm going to found my own nation of liberated griffins, diamond dogs, ponies, and whoever else is being oppressed, if I live that long. I hope if and when the time comes, we can be friends. I'm pretty sure I'll be needing your help, I am kind of new to this whole thing, and while I know it won't be nearly as good as Equestria is, I want to make it the best it can be. Here's to us meeting face to face one day, and not on opposite sides of prison bars.

"And now he tells me he's going to usher in a new era of peace, and he's wondering if I'll help him do it and give him advice? I must say...... Luna, it seems we've misjudged this griffin. While he didn't give us any clear indication of his intention, and we believed him dangerous by being an unknown, now that we know his purpose...."

"He's not a threat at all, but possibly one of our greatest allies." Luna finished with a smile.

"It seems so. This whole time, he's been playing games with us, trying to lighten our mood, and at the same time working to better this world. It makes sense now. I suppose when we made a guess that these aliens were here to help, we were correct. Strange, he reminds me of a certain draconequuis, although with far better manners, sense of humor, wit, and is actually responsible and good natured instead of a cruel trickster."

"And the question?" Luna asked.

"You'll see in a minute."

Dear Griffin and Crew,

Thank you for warning me about the cake.... oh, and the attack as well. Rest assured we will take the necessary precautions to protect the city. It is also a relief that there are far fewer criminals, as you said, 'climbin in my windows, snatchin my ponies up'. I have seen a troll, they live in forests and mountains, but they died out centuries ago. Is a troll something different in your culture? I dislike spiders, very much so. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was for me to restrain myself against setting 'Betsy' on fire.

As for your conquest... Many years ago, the Dominion increased hostilities against Equestria, at one point, threatening to invade. I dissolved their government in order to prevent a war, but this action left the innocents defenseless. I do not have the power to help them, as I am already stretched thin as it is, and if I were captured, it would mean doom for all of Equestria, as the ponies would have become slaves to the diamond dogs as well. It was with a heavy heart that I did what I did, and it is one of the few things I regret in my long life. That you are rectifying the mistake I made so long ago brings me joy, and so, you have my blessing.

I am also glad that should you succeed, you would choose to seek my counsel. The wisest of us are the ones willing to ask for help, and so, upon founding your new nation, I would gladly lend my aid and advice. Also, should you decide to assist us in protecting Canterlot against the coming attack, during the wedding two months from now, we would be thankful. Since you have declared your intentions, and we have deemed you to no longer be a threat to Equestria, as well as the fact that your service far outweighs your crimes, I am hereby providing your entire crew with pardon. Go, and bring harmony to those I cannot.

Finally, that my sister has been so openly accepted and adored by an increasing number of subjects, as well as those not in our rule, to the point that one has decided to share her lessons of friendship with her,

I couldn't be happier.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

"Inkwell? Come here please. Send these updated wanted posters out to every corner of the world, the Griffin Pirates have been pardoned. Oh, the press is going to have a field day with this one."

"I look forward to you trying to explain it, 'Oh, he's not so bad after all! It was all just a big misunderstanding!' Like that'll work." Luna pouted.

"Sure it will. After all, his only serious crime was killing the diamond dogs, and even then, it was warranted. As for theft, assault, resisting arrest and prison break, the first three were direct results of him being persecuted by ponies based on race alone, and the last one he was only doing what he thought was right. All we have to do is list off his various credits. Saving my nephew and his servants, as well as guards, bringing wanted criminals to justice, protecting the innocent from a dragon attack, and providing us with important information that will be vital in the days to come, and the ponies will come to accept him as what he really is, despite him not wanting to be labeled as such." Celestia explained.

"And that is?"

"A hero."

Raid (49)

Raid

I read the letter over and over, the whole crew taking a good look at it, making sure we didn't miss anything. I slammed my claw on my desk in frustration.

"Damnit! No! I wanted to be infamous! It... it's not fair, IT'S NOT FAIR!" I let my head fall to my desk in an over dramatic manner.

"But, isn't this a good thing? I mean, we no longer have to run from the law, we can go where we want and not be under attack? Why would you want to be... you know, wanted?" Maria asked.

"It's fun? They chase, we run, they lock us up, we escape! It sharpens the wit and is fun as hell! We've been pardoned, now the game is over......." I said while pouting.

"Hey, come on, it's not so bad.... maybe we'll get bounties again for impersonating royalty?" Gilda said, petting my head, trying to cheer me up.

"Yeah.... maybe... but we have to start all over on our badass image. I mean, how are all our enemies going to take us seriously if we're not wanted anymore? We walk into a town, and everybody cowers in fear, now that our bounties are gone, nobody will know who we are! We basically just lost all of our reputation in one fell swoop." I grumbled.

"Well, there is the royal wedding that you told us about coming up........" Nadene suggested. My eyes shot open with realization and I got a wicked grin.

"We're crashing it aren't we?" Gilda asked.

"Oh hell yes."

"Huh?" Maria asked.

"Simple, we go there uninvited, eat all the food, play obnoxious music, which we can totally do now thanks to that spell, maybe trash the dining hall, be as rowdy as possible, get plastered, and all around ruin the celebration for everyone else, then bail before they think to make us clean it up."

"I like it." Maria snickered maliciously.

"But, that's still two months away, first, we have to take Ruby Hollow, and, we're still a ways away from that....." Nadene stated.

"Right, and we have to be even more careful now that we're in Gem Fido, they switched from using a boat to an airship for quick travel over the mountains. If they spot us, the plan won't work."

"I jus can't wait ta get all those gems." Steelhorn bellowed.

"Me neither." Shimmer licked her lips.

"Oh, by the way Steelhorn, now that you're done with making our armor and the cannon for the ship, I've come up with something to keep you busy." I tossed him my blueprints for the laser rifles.

"Damnit boy, you don't give me a moment's rest do ya?" He said after looking at them.

"One for each member of the tribe, and one for each member of the crew except me and Shimmer, and a larger one on a mount for Trixie, preferably attached to her waist and maneuvered by her right hoof. She can charge it herself."

"Is that so? I don't work fer free ya know."

"Consider the fact that we'll be giving you all the materials you need, and the design itself will be your payment. After all, you can only start building them once we get better supply, and these will replace the bows we were using, meaning you're getting paid up front." He grumbled.

"Ah, alright ya weasel. You got yerself a deal."

"And here we are...... Ruby Hollow." Diamond dog warrens tend to be in valleys, nestled between mountains. There are massive tunnel systems running through the mountain ranges, being used for the dogs to travel to the other warrens, as well as airships for faster travel. The warrens themselves are built partly above and partly below ground, with the mines sinking down all around the city, and into the mountains as well. It was reminiscent of Greek architecture in design, but not in style. In fact, it had no artistic value at all, no effort was made to beautify, instead focusing on function. Means they're industrious, good, I'm gonna need hard workers. We watched as the zebra slaves were unloaded and hauled into the city.

"Alright, hold position here. Now, we wait."

It didn't take much effort to keep the ship concealed, as it was quite cloudy. All we had to do was stay at a high altitude within the cloud cover. Maria, Gilda, and I took turns watching the city below for activity, for when the dragon might show up. Three days passed. The entire time, the crew and tribe were all tense, sleeping a lot, but not restfully. We were all on edge, ready to go at a moment's notice as soon as it was time. The sun had just set, torchlight from the city below illuminated it, and, after a few moments, a shadow crossed our vision. It was time. Alarms rang throughout the ship, everyone jumping from their beds to take battle stations.

"Gear up, we've got a dragon to kill and a city to conquer." We all put on our rainbow armor. Gilda, Shimmer, Maria, Nadene, would be running distraction while Etch and Growl, being the same species, would be organizing the dogs below to keep as many of them alive as possible, while Trixie and I dealt with the flying blowhard. Red dragon, one of the more common ones, 3/4 the size of Blacky.

"Aw hell, this is going to be easy." I motioned to my crew, who all put our sunglasses on.

"Trixie, soon as I give the signal, make a red flare so the ship comes down."

"Can't we just kill it?"

"No, we're going for overkill. The point is we're gonna make an impression. We're not just gonna kick this dragon's ass, we're gonna butcher it so hard these dogs can't think straight."

"Got it."

Looking below us, the alpha of the pack came out to meet the dragon, followed by a number of griffins, about 15, as well as a handful of pegasi, and finally, a small pile of gems. I was confused for a moment before I understood.

"Oh, I get it, Zebra's are more valuable as slaves because they're smaller and stronger, and probably less trouble, so they did a swap. Well, looks like we get to have some fun. Okay, here's the deal. We have a number of goals. Trixie and I will lead the dragon away so the prisoners don't get hurt by it's thrashing, Gilda and Shimmer will free the prisoners and lead them to the airship, Etch, Growl, Maria, and Nadene, you need to hold the alpha there. Keep him above ground here and get the rest of the dogs to head underground. When the flare goes out, we charge."

We flew below the cloud level, still unseen, as the dragon and the alpha conversed. He was about the same height as Echo, though significantly less bulky. This is a good thing, although he was carrying what looked like a jagged diamond sword. Basically, a large diamond crudely shaped into a blade. Still pretty deadly, but, it would bounce right off my armor, and my sword could cut his. The dragon looked pretty angry, but resigned and nodded, seeming to come to an agreement. The prisoners were crying their eyes out. They knew what was coming, but they didn't know WE were coming.

"So, what should my war cry be?"

"Just do your regular thing?" Gilda suggested.

"Good enough for me. Now Trixie!" She shot a red streak of light over the top of the city, which exploded into red sparks. Basically, really big fireworks, but as a spell. Draw attention. She passed me a blood vial.

"Lumen. Sonor." My sword lit up like a second sun, not blinding my crew because of the shades, filling the night sky with brilliant, blinding light.

WRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The clouds themselves were pushed out of the way by my swords full charge effecting my voice, revealing the massive airship as it descended, and my light making it shine in the night sky as well. The dragon, as well as everyone else present, looked up as I dove at it, my crew breaking off to either side to perform their own duties.

TAG, YOU'RE IT! I bashed it on the top of it's head with the flat, a distinct ringing sound spreading throughout the warren below as it wobbled slightly from the blow. I flew into the air, the now enraged dragon following me as I laughed maniacally. Net launchers were readied by the dogs, only for the alpha to find a multitude of blades at his throat.

"Don't even try it." Growl said in his deep throaty voice, pressing his spear against the leader's neck.

"Release the prisoners or your boss gets it!" Gilda screeched. The alpha dog just sighed, not accepting or denying either way. The dogs quickly did as they were told.

"Go! Fly to the airship! You'll be safe there!" Maria called out.

"Dogs, get underground! We'll tell you when it's safe!" Nadene ordered. They looked at the cat strangely, like they were going to engage, but she hissed, followed by the dragon's roar filling the air. "Not you mister, you're gonna stay right here and watch."

"Turuk, is that you?" The alpha asked.

"The name is Growl now, but yes."

"Last I saw of you was eight years ago... I was told you had been taken as a slave...."

"I was freed. I have a new alpha now."

"Where is he?" Growl pointed into the sky as the bright ball of light slammed into the dragon over and over again.

"Come on! Come on! This way! Hurry! Follow us!" Gilda screamed so that all the fliers could hear. The newly freed pegasi and griffins followed her as Shimmer blew a small spout of flame to act as a beacon for them to follow, while I was busy leading the dragon away from the ship. Cheers went out as the fliers realized they were being rescued.

"Get on board and get below deck!" She screeched, and they obeyed.

Spotting the cats on the ship, they were a little unnerved, but Selma managed to calm them and explain.

"Git ur feathers below deck where it's safe, when it's all over, Captain Griffin'll explain when he get's done killin that thar dragon and freein the rest of ya, but fer now, get urselves a nice hot meal, ya deserve it."

"This is.... is this.... real?"

"Bwahahahahahahahaha! Come and get me fatass!"

"Does that answer yer question youngin?" Selma asked pointing over her shoulder at the dragon and bright light smacking into one another, not bothering to look, and all the while wearing her own pair of shades.

"You're jeopardizing everything. We made a deal, how are we supposed to survive the dragons if the deal is broken?"

"My alpha slew six this size at the same time over the ocean, when we left the Volcanic Wastes. He slew another in the jungle before that, and a black dragon before that." Etch smiles as roars of pain come from above, making all but the crew shudder.

"He cannot face them all on his own."

"Since we have become family, none of us are ever alone."

"I'm going to kill you! I am going to roast you alive and eat you!"

"Not likely, since I'm going to kill you now."

"Fool, after all this time, you have yet to draw blood."

"You're the idiot." Trixie piped up. "This whole time he's been playing with you. Can't have you torching our new city can we?"

"What?!?"

"I was leading you away from the town to give my crew time to capture the alpha. Now that we're far enough away that nobody will get crushed by your falling corpse.... Lacero." A cross slash, passing through the scales of the dragon's chest and ripping through it's lungs, I pulled the sword with all my might, a spurt of dragon blood that had been charged with the magical light coming from my sword flew out in a beautiful arc across the sky as the beast let out a death howl, then fell to the ground. It landed on the side of a mountain, tumbling down the cliff until it finally came to rest at the edge of the valley. The light on my blade went out, having used the remainder of the charge for the cutting spell. I flew back down to the platform where Growl had the alpha at spear point.

"Alright, you can release him now."

"Your alpha is a griffin?" The pack leader began to laugh, only to have a small drop of blood drip down Etch's spear as it barely entered his flesh.

"Well now, look what we have here. Feeding people to dragons isn't very nice.... tsk tsk." I wagged my finger back and forth.

"And who are you to decide how diamond dogs live?"

"Your new leader, that's who."

"Only diamond dogs or their kin may lead a pack. You are not either."

"You know, I met an alpha before, he was young, bigger than you, and had flaming claws. I still kicked his ass. You're old, and all you have is that puny sword which won't even scratch my armor. I can just kill you and take over."

"Then why do you not?"

"Simple, you're their alpha, and they would be more accepting if they were lead by one of their own. They know you, and they trust you. You know the ins and outs of this place. I would much rather have you lead them in my stead. You would be king, and I would be high king, emperor, the 'Alpha of alpha's."

"For that title, you would need more than one pack....."

"All in due time. You already know of my power, you have seen it yourself. That was me alone. I have my crew, my tribe, and my ship as well. We are poised to conquer all of Gem Fido, and unite the northern provinces. No more slaves, no more infighting, no more starvation, and no more fear of dragons. You can either join me and still lead your pack, but under my rules, or, you can die. I think Growl here would make an excellent alpha." My dog gave a huff.

"We are diamond dogs, you are a griffin, why would you do such a thing?" The old hound asked.

"Because you're just as stuck as we are. I'm giving your entire kind a way out, and in doing so, my own as well."

"And what would the rules of this partnership be?"

"Number one, no slaves."

"Then how are we to gather enough gems?"

"Consider that you don't have a dragon to feed anymore."

"Another will takes it's place." He sighed, defeated.

"And I'll kill that one too. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. And by that time, you dogs will be able to kill them yourselves."

"All we can do is drive them off, even with weapons made of their own bone, how do you suppose we strike them down?"

"Not gonna tell ya, trade secret. I'll consider it once I've got your loyalty."

"We cannot do so without first gaining something in return."

"You are in no position to make demands." I said, sharpening my gaze.

"The answer is no."

"Well then, we have reached an impasse. Perhaps you'll come around when the nearby packs have fallen in line. Considering your past relationship with my crew, I'll spare your tribe. I want all the slaves, and I'll take that gem pile while I'm at it."

"And if I refuse?"

"Draw your blade." He obeyed, holding it on guard in front of him, only for my blade to pierce right through and stop mere millimeters from his throat. The chunk of diamond fell to the dirt at his feet. Holding my blade in position, I picked it up, then jammed it into his arm. He howled in pain as he let go of the handle of the broken blade.

"You dropped your sword." I smiled wildly.

"Just take them and go." He relented, motioning to a few of the dogs who had come out to watch to go get the slaves.

"Etch, Growl, go check to make sure it's all of them." He gave a salute then ran off into the city. He returned a while later with a number of zebras, earth ponies, and a few unicorns, all dirty, emaciated, tired looking, and above all, scared.

"By the way alpha, what is your name?"

"Stone Fang."

"Well Stone Fang, here is a message I want you to pass to all the other diamond dogs in Gem Fido. The message is, 'The day of reckoning has come. Those who follow shall find prosperity, those who resist shall be swept away by the tides of change. So says Griffin the cursed, captain of the Griffin Pirates, chief of the White Wind, kin of the Silent Wolf, and bane of dragons.

"Got enough honorifics?" He spat.

"In case you haven't noticed, I've earned every one of them. Anyway, any who want protection from dragons will find it with me, all they have to do is fall in line. Any who fight, I'll gladly meet them with my blade. While I'm gone, I suggest you think VERY carefully about where you stand. Oh, and if I find you taking slaves again, I'll fuckin kill ya. Trix, send it." Trixie's horn lit up, sending the red firework spell out at a number of airships, but instead of exploding, they simply hovered above them. A scorching red beam came from the Possibility, ripping through each of the balloons and setting them on fire, causing the vessels to drop to the basin.

"Let's go. No slaves, no gems, and no way to get more of either. I hope you change your mind before a dragon finds you, or the blood of your people will be on YOUR paws. Oh, one more thing, I know all about your prophecy, the wolf who slays dragons. Well, Echo hasn't killed any dragons yet, only hydras, which means unless I somehow turn into a wolf, your prophecy is bullshit, and your seers are blind as bats." And with that, we flew off, leaving Ruby Hollow behind.

"Grif, why didn't we take over? We could have done it." Gilda asked.

"I know, but if the dogs won't accept anyone other than one of their own or a 'kin' to lead them, even if I killed their alpha, I wouldn't be able to take his place. The entire pack would try to kill me, and the one who succeeded would get the throne. I'd have to leave Etch or Growl behind to lead them, and since they are not actual alphas, they'd get dethroned as well. They're more valuable alive, sending my message out."

"And if a dragon finds them? They'll get wiped out." Trixie stated.

"He's responsible for his people. I offered to take that responsibility, let him lead, but by my rules. He declined. It's his problem now. I expect eventually they'll come around. Tradition will hold no value in the face of extinction. Let's head to Tailfeather. We have families to reunite."

Dear Princess Celestia,

If I've been pardoned, how am I supposed to play with your guards? It was a rather fun game, and you were getting really close to catching me, although I supposed I'd just escape the prison. Way to ruin my fun, thanks a lot. *note sarcasm*

Troll: A trickster, one who manipulates others for humor.

Trolling: The act of manipulating another cleverly in order to cause them to perform a certain action or feel a certain emotion, most commonly rage or frustration.

Ex 1: Philomina, your pet phoenix, pretended to be deathly ill in order to make Fluttershy run herself ragged. That is trolling, and the one to perform the act, is thus a troll.

Ex 2: Pretending to sip from a tea cup so subjects overzealous in their attempts to please would overfill it, causing it to spill.

Ex 3: Knowing that your student has, including her assistant, six friends, yet only providing two tickets to an event they all wished to participate in.

Ex 4: Pretty much all of my letters. In case you haven't figured it out by now, that was their purpose.

I failed to conquer the diamond dog warren. They refuse to be lead by any other than one of their own, and while I could allow the alphas to remain in power, but answer to me, at this point in time, they have refused. I'm going to continue freeing slaves. Eventually, since they won't be able to get enough gems, the threat of dragons will become too great to ignore, and they'll come around, since I am the only one who can kill them, not just drive them off. On board liberated slaves, 20 zebras, 15 griffins, five pegasi, 3 unicorns, 18 earth ponies. I'll be stopping in the Dominion to unload a large amount of food and such before heading down to Canterlot to drop the ponies off, please make sure they get home and are reunited with their families.

Sincerely Griffin

Attack On Equestria (51)

Attack On Equestria

"Well, that was fun."

"I have to agree, blaring uncivilized music over the high brow capital, I wonder how many ponies we pissed off?" Trixie smirked.

"Lots, so, we just grab some food over on island 54 then head north, get a bunch to relocate, and we bring them down through Canterlot, to island 54, 47, 42, or 39, all depending on how many we get?" Gilda asked for clarification.

"Yeah, we gotta make sure there's enough room for them all, enough food, stuff like that. Besides fruit, they can get clams from the island shoreline as well. Let's go."

The stop was pretty uneventful, just grab as much as we could, can it, then store it in the hold. Three days to get there, two to have so much food on board the ship could barely fly, and a week to get back flying heavy. We reached Tailfeather to find it absolutely abuzz with activity.

"Oh my god." Gilda's jaw dropped. Looking out at the mountains, an absolute flock of griffins were flying around, cheering our arrival. We descended to a valley and landed, where we were met by two hundred hungry, tired, but hopeful griffins. As we walked down the gangplank off the ship, we were met with cheers again.

"News spreads fast eh?" I said as the whole crew and tribe stood on the ground before the crowd.

"Dragon slaying and slave freeing will do that you know." Nadene replied.

"Hello fellow griffins. Since you're all here, you no doubt know who I am."

"Captain! Griffin! Captain! Griffin!" They cheered, saying each word enunciated.

"That's right. I do have a speech, but, you're all tired and hungry, so I think I should feed you all first. If you know how to cook, come forward." Ten left the group and stood before me. I passed them each a fruit for them to eat.

"Now that you aren't starving any more, follow Maria and Selma to the ship's kitchen. You'll be making meals for the rest of them. Get to it!" They quickly followed the cat and bird into the ship's bowels.

"Now then, we don't have enough room on board for all of you, and while we have a lot of food, we have to share it evenly between you all, so that way nobody starves. I'm sure you all have questions, so, ask away." I was met with a multitude of shouts, and I pointed at someone in the crowd at random.

"Fly up here, stand next to me, there you go, now, 'sonor' speak clearly so everyone can hear your question."

"Did you really kill a dragon?" His voice boomed across the field, much to his surprise.

"I did. Nearly a year ago, a black dragon ate me, and so I decided to choke him to death. I'm chewy." A roar of laughter rang out.

"From his scale and bone, I made my sword. I named it Hades, god of the underworld. Since then, I slew a dragon in the southern rain forest, six at the same time above the ring sea, and one in Gem Fido when I freed a number of slaves from captivity. I also have a young dragon, Shimmer, two diamond dogs, Etch and Growl, and a number of cats from the Feline Jungle as part of my crew. Next question."

"Your crew is, diverse. Why is that?"

"That requires explanation. Griffins get taken as slaves by diamond dogs, the dogs also get taken as slaves by rival packs. The reason they do this is so they can dig up enough gems to satisfy the dragons to avoid being eaten, and the dragons must deal with the packs to not starve. Many dragons are cruel and heartless, while others are kind and caring. My goal is not freedom for griffins alone, but for all who suffer, be they griffin, diamond dog, dragon, pony, cat, or any other living thing in this world. We can live in harmony with one another."

"You would help diamond dogs? But, they enslaved us, took us from their families, fed us to dragons....."

"I do not care for race. Etch and Growl were slaves as well, and the dogs are slaves to their alphas, not even knowing it. Diamond dogs in general are not the problem, it is the greedy alphas and the cruel ones among dragon kind that must be swept away. Next question."

"You have done all this in under a year? How?"

"I am not of this world."

"What do you mean?"

"I am an alien. I am not a griffin by birth, rather I took that form on arriving in this universe. My plane of existence was once in touch with this one, and was again for a time, allowing me to cross into your world. I have advanced knowledge which I used along with a heaping helping of cruelty that comes from my home. Forma Versus." They all watched in awe as I became a human again. I figured I'd have to show them or else they'd call me crazy.

"This is my true form. As hard as it may be to believe, I come from a place far worse than this one. It has made me cold and calculating, angry and spiteful. Reverti." Back to griffin.

"I have used my pain and knowledge to change the face of this world, and I will continue to do so. Now, everyone line up, and come get some food."

Raw fruits from cans, some cooked veggies, clam chowder, and various other nutritious foods were passed out and around for the griffins to eat. They devoured it heartily. They all looked so much better with their bellies full. Once they finished, we passed out seconds. It amazed me really, old and young, women and men, children, infants even, they all came from who knows where. I instructed all the sick to go see Nadene, as well as Selma, who had some knowledge of medicine, and had them whip up potions for them from the various ingredients we gathered at our various stops. Always loading up on them whenever we parked somewhere meant she had quite a healthy stock.

"And more questions?"

"Are you single?!" I heard a female voice call out.

"Sorry, Gilda gets first dibs on me. You know, finder's keepers." More laughter. She blushed.

"So, what now?"

"Now? We leave, and we take as many of you with us as we can." They seemed shocked by this revelation. Several gasps rang out.

"But, where will we go?"

"I have been all around the world, and I have found many places that are uninhabited, are fertile, have natural food sources, and are safe from the nets of dogs and jaws of dragons. Islands in the Zebrican Archipelago, spots in the Feline Jungle. We can only hold so many on the ship at a time, so any who wish to come with us will have to fly after us. We are headed to Baltimare first. I have good relations with Equestria, and the capital is in the center of the country and will act as a staging area for our other operations, such as relocating you."

"What about our friends, our families?" They started sounding worried.

"Don't fret, we're taking the names of everyone here, and what their relation is. Who their friends and families are. We'll get you settled in and record where you are, so if we come across anyone you know, we'll know where to bring them. If they're out there, I WILL reunite you with your families. Myself, my crew, and the Equestrian royalty will see to it."

"The ponies never cared before, why now?" A male voice called out, to which the others began asking why.

"They did care, they simply did not believe they had the power to do anything about it. The princesses don't have much influence outside their borders, and are stretched thin. By my actions, I have started making waves. Raising awareness, helping everyone to realize that they CAN make a difference. My name has rang out all across the globe, and everyone knows my purpose. I have become the voice of the people, and they will do what they can to help. If they cannot come to you, I will bring you to them."

"We don't need their help."

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR STUBBORN PRIDE!" I boomed angrily, causing the crowd to shrink.

"All it will bring us is disaster and ruin! What good is pride when you are starving, your children are sick, and you're living in fear? And I'm not dumping our problems on them, I'm simply letting them help ME to help you." That effectively silenced the crowd.

"Now then, let's move. We head west, then we stick to the eastern shore, so we'll have plenty to eat. We will reach Baltimare, a port town, where I will secure safe passage for you all to an island. And remember, though uninhabited, it is zebra land, and I suggest you play nice with the locals. We don't need a war. Stick to fruit and seafood. Now, let's fly." I got back on board and the ship began to take off, the griffins flapping their wings and flying after us.

We reached Manehatten in record time, only three days since some of the griffins actually took to tying ropes to the airship and pulling us along with the engines pushing, where we traded some of the excess gems for bits, which we would then use to help get the griffins set up, as well as get Steelhorn to hurry up with the laser rifles for the crew. We continued south towards the intended town. Whenever the griffins got tired, they'd land on top of the ship. So, they didn't have beds, but the armored top of the balloon made for a great perch. We arrived, and I prepared to see them off.

"Alright, we're here. We're sending you to island number 47 in the archipelago. I've paid your fares, as well as to have some ponies help with setting up a village and such. This is where we part ways."

"You're not coming with?" One of the older griffins, already decided to be the village leader when they arrived, asked.

"No, I have to go to Canterlot. I'm dropping off your papers there for safe keeping, to let them handle all the book keeping and organizational stuff. Then I'll head over to check and see how things are coming, help you all get set up, grab some food on the next island, then head back to Gem Fido to free more slaves, and do a repeat of this, except putting them on the next island. Then, as I find families, I'll shuffle you around to put them back together."

"How are we supposed to defend ourselves?"

"Work as a group. I'm pretty sure a load of griffins can handle pretty much anything that comes your way. There'd have to be a full army attacking you to take you. Sheer numbers should drive off any lesser threats. Take this gem, you know how to charge it right? Send me letters every week updating your status, as well as if anything you can't handle comes up. I'll work on getting Steelhorn to arm you with defensive weapons on our next pass. Remember, YOU have to make the future, I'm just guiding you and lending a helping hand along the way. Now, be on your way, your people need you." And with that, the ships set sail, bringing the griffins to their new home. I boarded the Possibility once more, as we began our flight to Canterlot.

"Huh.... what are you all doing here?" I noticed a number of griffins had stayed behind.

"We're joining you."

"What?"

"Do you have room on your ship?"

"Well, yes."

"Do you need skilled fighters?"

"Define skilled."

"We can each handle a diamond dog or three."

"Weapons?"

"We use our bare claws most of the time, or whatever weapons we can if we can get em."

"Ehh, good enough, stick with claws, at least you have a natural advantage then. Alright, come aboard. Know this, since we are strong and can fly, we griffins act as combat mounts for the slower, non flight capable members. Trixie rides me, Nadene rides Maria, Shimmer rides Gilda while she air lifts Etch and Growl. You have to be willing to swallow your pride. Are you okay with being ridden by a cat or a diamond dog?" The glanced around at each other before nodding.

"Good, because those two need a ride of their own. Mostly, you're going to be dodging, evading enemies, getting the cats in and out of the fight. How many of you are there?"

"20."

"That works just fine. Alright, get on. Find one of those big burly cats with spears and stick with em. They'll be your partners. You keep them alive, they'll do the same for you. Get to practicing."

"What about our fares? We still have em."

"Buy some tough leather so we can make proper harnesses to keep the cats from falling off you."

A Week Later, Outside Canterlot, Aboard The Possibility.

"And here's Canterlot. Should we knock again?"

"Uh, Grif, I don't think that's necessary, since they're doing the knocking for us." Gilda pointed out a number of black things slamming against the purple bubble.

"Think we should drop in for some fun?"

"I'm for it."

"Attention crew, all hands on deck. We've got a battle coming our way!" The cats and griffins piled on to the top, with Steelhorn coming down from the bridge.

"What's going on?" He demanded. I pointed at the besieged city in the distance, the shield still holding.

"THAT is what's going on. Canterlot is under attack. They're crashing the wedding WE were going to crash, and that pisses me off. So, let's go kick some ass."

"Well then, you may want these." He opened a case containing ten laser rifles, one for each of the Romak minus Tiras on the main gun, and one for Nadene. Gilda preferred her bow because of faster shots, and I had Trixie. The dogs had their gem staves, which after practicing, they could charge in 40 seconds. In fact, all of us had, from practicing so much, gotten more resilient in our arcane endurance. Etch and Growl had their own griffin mounts, and so did 18 of the spear cats. The rest of them would stay on board to keep the ship from being boarded, and the rangers would shoot from the railing.

"Come on, let's go get em! This will be perfect training for the newbies. Mount up, for today, WE RIDE!"

I began playing a song as 18 griffins carrying spear cats, spears made from dragon bone with charged gems set in them for single use, Nadene carrying a laser rifle, riding Maria, Shimmer riding Gilda, Etch and Growl each riding a griffin of their own and carrying gem spears, which they themselves could recharge, and Trixie with her over sized laser riding me, the massive Possibility coming in directly behind us, Selma directing her troops, the rangers placed along the railing, and Tiras on the main gun pointing towards the besieged city,

We charged.

Bug Hunt (52)

Bug Hunt

We began closing in on the strange bug things that were slamming into the shield around the city. Just as we got within range, the shield shattered allowing the insect like ponies to enter.

"OPEN FIRE!" A round of lasers came from the ship, the smaller guns firing quickly, and the mounted gun's intense beam heading out every ten seconds or so. Nadene's gun went off as well, and Trixie began firing a constant beam to sweep through the numerous black specks. As they were struck, they turned red, then fell from the sky on fire, many of them in half or missing limbs. I drew Hades and held it to my side, the cats and dogs putting their spears in jousting position while the griffins held their claws and beak forward, all ready to tear into whatever they hit. Most of the bugs had already entered the city, but a few, having noticed that we were killing them, (it's kind of hard to see a few die and fall when there's about a million or so just chilling there), and began to fly towards us to engage. Each shot from the rifles would take one down, lighting it on fire, causing it's gossamer wings to burn up and making it fall to it's death. Trixie's sweeping beam would slice them into bits and she randomly fired into the crowd, and the ship's main gun would rip through a dozen or so with each shot, mangled little bits and green ichor mist filling the air as they were vaporized.

"Stay in formation! Don't veer off, don't get separated from the group! When we pass out of the flock, we'll come around for another pass!" I commanded. They were getting closer, closer, 20 meters, 10 meters, 5..... The sounds of shrieks filled the air as our blades ripped through the relatively weak exoskeleton and splattered their organs. My own blade sang with delight as it danced a brilliant waltz of death. We passed out of the cloud of foes and swooped around in formation to face them, only to find that they were headed towards the ship. Apparently, that was the priority target. Little did they know, they had just boxed themselves in. I smiled.

Looking down at the town as we flew back towards our foes, I saw them surrounded by green fire, slamming into the ground, causing small craters and then pick themselves up to attack innocent ponies. I turned my attention back to the Possibility, which was still firing white hot lasers from on board. They tried scratching the hull and balloon, to no avail. They then landed on the deck, only to be stabbed, clawed, bitten, and all around ripped apart by the warrior cats on board as the rangers continued to pick them off with their rifles.

"Everyone! Check your targets! We've got them boxed in, make sure you don't hit allies on accident!" Roaring to say they understood, we flew back to the crowd, shredding them from behind, but we did not fly into it. We wanted to keep them held here. They turned to face us as we were cutting them apart, only for the worst imaginable thing to happen. They changed. Into us.

"What the hell! Break off! Back to the ship! Cease fire! Cease fire!" All did as I commanded. We landed on the deck, spinning around to see more of the black bug like ponies be surrounded by a whirl of green fire, then take the shape of one of us. They made a key mistake though.

"They're unarmed! Stay on your mounts, and keep hold of your weapons! That's what's different between us! Raise the deck!" We fought off those that were on board as the deck began to raise, shooting a number of them that were trying hopelessly to chew through the support beams that connected the lower and upper halves of the ship as it began to raise. After thirty seconds, we were sealed in. We could still hear scratching on the hull, but it was hopeless. This thing withstood dragon claws, there's no way they could get in.

"What the fuck! They're shapeshifters! I've never heard of that! Battles are chaotic enough, but how the hell are we supposed to tell friend from foe when they look exactly the same?" All the cats were glaring at Maria, who was standing in the middle of the crowd. Except that Maria was standing right next to me, and Nadene was riding her. Selma walked up and bopped it on the head, and it changed back into one of the bugs as it passed out.

"They may look like us, they may sound like us, they may even act like us, but they do NOT smell like us." Etch replied.

"You mean you can tell who's who by smell?" The dogs nodded, and the cats came forward.

"We all can."

"Well, that's something. Tie our little friend up. I have questions, and anyone who's wounded, get Nadene to look after it."

"Nice to see you woke up, whatever you are." The bug like pony looked around for a moment, seemingly scared. It make a chittering sound.

"Yeah, can't hear ya peach, ya might wanna speak up." It tilted it's head to the side and gave a huff and a sigh, then transformed into me.

"That's a neat little trick you have there."

"What do you want with me." It said in my voice.

"Answers."

"I'll never talk!"

"Oh, but I think you will." I gave a devils glare and grin. It shuddered and curled up.

"Geez, I haven't even started torturing you yet, and you already look like you're gonna break. So, first, I think I'll cut off your leg, and then I'll put some cinderfruit juice on it. If you think lemons are bad, you're in for a surprise." I held my claw forward, and made a slight scratch along it's leg. It hissed and spat, so I drove my claw in. It screamed and screamed and screamed as I twisted my little knife finger around in the wound.

"Ready to talk?" It was breathing heavily between it's screams.

"What.... do.... you want.... to know.....NNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG"

"That's more like it, first, what are you?"

"I am a changeling. One of many." It replied.

"Yeah, I could see there were quite a lot of you out there. I wonder how many of you I cut down on my own? 20, 30 maybe?"

"You bastard...NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG" I twisted my claw again.

"Next question, and this is an easy one, do you have a name?"

"*Huff* No...... *huff* only the queen and her guards have names. I am just a drone."

"Okay, then I'll call you Drone. Drone the drone. I'm Griffin the griffin. We're both named after what we are. Life is kind of funny like that...

"Your point?" It winced, but the pain did not come, as I held my claw still.

"Oh, none. I guess I'm just rambling. What is your queen's name?"

"My queen's name, the name you will one day say when you bow.... is Chrysalis....NNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG *hiss*"

"Let's get one thing straight, I bow to no one, and I am the one who's gonna be king, but I'll discuss that with 'Chrysalis' when I meet her. Why did you come to Canterlot?"

"To feed."

"So, you're going to eat ponies?" I tilted my head.

"No, we feed on positive emotion. Joy, love, bliss." It explained.

"I get it, so, Equestria is all full of happy happy joy joy ponies, so you come in, change into one of them and feed off them, then go on your way. Makes sense. So then, why the frontal assault?"

"We need more. The queen wants more power, more food for the swarm. First we take Canterlot, and then all of Equestria."

"You know, that has to be THE worst thought out plan I have ever heard of. You are natural masters of disguise, yet you're going for a full frontal assault. Wouldn't it have been better to slowly but surely replace the ponies in the city, then attack when their backs are turned? Or better yet, just take on a unique identity and live out your lives as functioning members of society?"

"That is what we have done, up till now. The queen wishes to rule this land of love, and we must obey her."

"One more thing, you a boy or a girl?"

"I am female, all drones are. The reavers are the males, and are the queen's guard. However, all bow to her will."

"Well, that sucks. Anyway, I can't let you go, because you know too much about us, but, I'm not just gonna kill ya, so, here's the deal, you're gonna stay here on the ship until this whole thing blows over, which it will, considering I've seen the future and I know for a fact you fail, and once your tyrant queen is out of the picture, we'll see how you feel. Steelhorn, seal the room. Lock her in, and have someone keep an eye on her through the window at all times. If she tries to escape, kill her. Oh! I almost forgot. Forma versus." I watched as the changeling turned back to it's regular, insectoid self.

"Try and turn into me again." It sat there for a moment, then shut it's eyes. It's face screwed up in concentration. A flick of green flame, but no change. It opened it's eyes and a look of sheer horror appeared on it's face.

"Nice to know that works. You may as well just sit tight. Relax a bit, make yourself comfortable. There's no point in trying to escape, you can't get out and your friends can't get in, and if any try, they'll die." I looked to see the hole I had poked in it's leg with my claw was already starting to heal up.

'High speed regeneration? So, just wounding them won't do anything. That seems like trouble.'

"Well, now that you've entertained our guest, don't you think we should do something about that. He pointed out the front window towards the city, still under siege.

"Yeah, open the deck again. We'll fly over the city and help where we can. Everybody but my team stay on ship, and keep them off of it. Shoot any changelings you see, but don't hit any ponies. You guys won't be able to tell who's a changeling and who's not from up here, so only shoot the black, flying things. I'll do what I can to clean them out from below."

The ship opened up again, changelings beginning to crawl in through the crack, immediately being shot or stabbed to death. My tribe was all parked in the middle of the deck, Tiras on the gun ripping through masses of them, the rangers shooting down any who went high, and the cats and griffins shredding any who tried to get in low. Now they were boxed in, but they had a huge defensive advantage. The line would hold. My crew flew out, and the ship once again closed. After a few moments, the cannon ports opened up and they began firing lasers (and poisoned arrows for those without guns) out of them instead of cannons, not wanting to destroy the city below or harm innocents. My group sliced, slashed, clawed, shot, and burned through the cluster like a hot knife through butter, leaving tattered corpses to fall to the earth below.

"THERE! There's a large number of them holed up there, that's where we'll find the queen! Watch my back!" We went to ground, finding a large number of changelings in our way, as well as many ponies.

"Forma Versus!" A purple wave went out, revealing that they were almost entirely changelings. I got the evil grin again as I held my sword to the side.

"Ignis!" As I swung, a wave of fire went out, incinerating them, with the dogs casting protego on the few ponies among them so they wouldn't get scorched.

"You, get underground! Into the sewers!"

"But it smells...."

"So do the ashes of ponies too stupid to listen to reason, now GET!" I flipped the manhole cover, (ponyhole?) and booted the pair of high class looking ponies in, smiling as I heard a splash and a shriek. I really am as ass aren't I?

We flew around some more, ripping changelings apart wherever we found them. I found a fairly large mass trying to dog pile something, when I had the most brilliant idea ever.

'Hold on, I've killed dragons, quite a few, and I know magic for amplifying my voice to the point that it becomes actual force. Why the HELL haven't I done this before? Oh well, it's time to see what physics engine Equestria runs on.'

"Sonor. SONOR. SONOR. FUS RO DAH!" I watched with glee as the mass of ponies were thrown away by my voice, slamming into walls and turning into black bugs when they did so. In the middle of the dog pile was a scratched up, beaten, bleeding, Princess Luna.

"Go clean up, I'll deal with her." I ordered, my crew spreading out to finish off the changelings that had been knocked away and were starting to recover. Luna was conscious, and as I noticed, there were several hundred changeling bodies lying around that I had nothing to do with, as well as two VERY large ones.

"Aww, da widdew pony pwincess faw down?" I chided.

"Canterlot has fallen. My sister is trapped within with the changeling queen, the element bearers are fighting their way to the elements, but are being over run, even I could not stand against their numbers." She replied, too tired to be upset at me mocking her.

"Nadene, Maria, get her back to the Possibility, knock on the window three times fast and twice slow to get Steelhorn to open up. Get her patched up. Don't worry, we'll handle the rest."

"Thank you...." She closed her eyes to sleep. I knew it wouldn't be that easy to kill her, but she certainly couldn't fight anymore. She had magic exhaustion. She uses a lot of energy in each of her spells, and doesn't know how to tone it down, so fighting so many small, weak enemies was a waste of her strength, because it was mostly overkill. She burned herself out.

"Alright, let's get in that chapel." The rest of us began our march towards the building in which the changeling queen, as well as Princess Celestia were holed up. That's when I noticed movement behind us. The two big corpses, well, they weren't corpses. They were still alive. They had cuts, gouges, burns, and they were healing over like wolverine. And two more of them crashed through a nearby wall. I cracked my next and smiled.

"Well well, look what we have here. Light em up!" I dove, dodging the swipe of a clawed hoof that was far faster than what should be found on a lumbering giant like that. Still, I dodged, and sliced the arm off. Trixie stuffed a thermite vial in the wound. Instead of using water and sodium, she just shot it with the laser. You ever have a wasp go in an empty pop can, then put one of those electric bug zappers on top of it? You know, the ones that look like tennis rackets? Here's what happens, the bee fucking MELTS. This was pretty much the same thing, except there was fire too. It shrieked at the portable lava turned all it's vitals to goo.

Etch and Growl were double teaming one of them, as I headed to face another and Gilda the last one. Their spears ripped through it's chitinous armor, but the wounds just healed over, barely causing any blood to come out at all.

"Fast healing!" Growl barked.

"I call hax!" Etch, using my term for when something is naturally unfair.

"Guys, burn em!" I yelled over my shoulder as my sword was taken in the changling's mouth. He started thrashing, trying to get me to let go of it, while Trixie tried to hit him anywhere she could with the laser.

"Rrrrraaaaaaahhhhh, for Captain Griffin!" Etch jumped from his mount, smashing it in the face with a kind of spike ball he had affixed to his tail before shouting ignis and jamming his spear into it's eye. He put it on right before we left for Canterlot. I told him it was pointless, that it had no practical purpose and would just weigh him down. He told me it definitely would be useful and it looked badass. I guess I owe him fifteen bits. He jumped back to his mount as the reaver changeling died.

"Come on, let go of my sword you overgrown mosquito!" He did as I asked, Trixie finally getting stable enough to get a shot on his face. He began thrashing wildly, swinging his claws all over the place, smashing Trixie's gun, and severing her front left hoof at the elbow with it.

"Trixie! I called over my shoulder to my screaming rider, blocking yet another quick slash from the deadly claws. I don't know what it was about my guy, he was just so much faster than his three brethren. Same size, same crazy weaponry, but he was just faster. So much so that even I could barely keep up.

"I could use a little help here!"

"Little busy!" Gilda shouted as she peppered her foe with thermite arrows. They were doing permanent damage, as the flames burned the wounds shut before they could bleed out and heal, but it just wouldn't go down. It tackled her, sending her into a wall. If not for her armor, that would have killed her.

"Got it!" Growl yelled as he threw his spear from atop his mount, shouting 'Lacero'. It passed right through my opponent's head, dropping him. I tossed the dog's spear back to him. Trixie was still on my back screaming.

"Take her back to the ship! Get her hoof looked after." I passed the dog the detached stump, then reached behind to undo my rider's straps so Growl and his mount could air lift her back to the ship, which was still shooting at the airborne changelings.

Gilda's opponent was standing right above her, fangs presented clearly, salivating. He was going to enjoy killing the one who had wounded him so much, except that my sword went through his spine while he was distracted.

"Die!" He flailed around before dropping to the ground dead. I was sweating. This was a much tougher fight than I expected it to be.

'Duh, I'm used to spamming spells. I can't do that here, no dragons..... Shimmer!'

"You two okay?" The young dragon popped out of the backpack. She had a bit of blood running down her forehead, but she looked like she'd be fine. I put the blood on my claw and ate it, then used 'medico' to restore both their scrapes and bruises.

"Why didn't you just do that to Trixie?"

"I don't think it can reattach limbs. I've only ever used it for minor damage. If it will work, then Selma and Nadene will do it. They know how. THIS is why we need a doctor." So Gilda, Shimmer, Etch and his mount, as well as myself, were all that remained on the battlefield. Surrounded by a swarm of changelings.

"He got leader!" One shouted, reminding me of a grunt from halo. Cracking my bones again I brought my sword up.

"Run cowards! I'm coming for you!" They flew off. I passed Gilda my amulet.

"I'm going to go deal with the changelings inside, you'll need this to take away the disguises of the ones outside. Just, fly around and pick em apart, but fight defensively. Don't let yourself get hurt. Etch, you go with her. I'm going in. I'll be fine, just don't let the swarm get in."

"Got it."

I walked towards to door to the church, thinking to myself that I really needed to calm down. Luna got taken down by sheer numbers, Trixie got hurt, I'm a nervous wreck, and tired as hell. If I didn't get my nerves under control, it would be the end of me. What I would do for some classy music right now. Oh, right. I have a load of gem wands here in my pack. Couldn't hurt to use one.

"Put her in the pod!" The changeling queen ordered several of her drones, who hefted the sun princess into a big green, gooey thing.

"Where are they, they should have captured those six ponies by now....... what's that music?" She demanded.

"I don't hear anything." Celestia said from within her goop prison.

"No, there's definitely music." The queen retorted. Cadence and her's eyes opened wide as the front doors were cut off their hinges, just as the song hit the 37 second mark and the music dropped. A griffin with a massive black sword, wearing rainbow armor and a pair of sunglasses slid in on the tile floor, then began to do a kind of side shuffle dance.

"Groovy."

Pain (53)

Pain

"Hey ladies... wanna dance?" I continued my groove as I slowly moved up to the middle of the room, then, as the gem ran out, the song stopped abruptly, as did I. I lifted my sunglasses to perch them on my forehead.

"What? Who is... I don't even... huh?" A pink alicorn who looked beaten up asked.

"Oh dear, I don't believe we've met. I'm Grif, the most dastardly scoundrel to sail the seas and sky, ultimate badass and smooth talker. Who are you pretty lady? And more importantly, voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" Swagswagswagswagswag.

"I'm Princess Cadence, and I'm engaged." She returned, glaring at me, and pointing at Shining Armor. I poked him in the side of the head. He didn't move.

"Weird, I met him like a month ago and he wasn't brain dead. What happened? Twilight get pissed after he told her about the wedding in a letter and hit him on the head too much?"

"Griffin, hurry up and get me out of here!" Celestia called from her goo pod, clearly irritated. I just ignored her.

"How did you get in? My reavers were guarding the door." Chrysalis asked.

"Oh, them? Yeah, they're dead. I have to say, that one was a pain in the ass. He just wouldn't go down, no matter how much we bashed, sliced, burned and slashed him. We literally had to rip him to pieces to make him stay down." The changeling with her crooked black horn, holes in her legs, fangs, and regular eyes instead of compound, grit her teeth.

"Why? what is your purpose here?" She growled and hissed.

"Well, I knew about the wedding, so I decided to crash it. Play some bad music really loud, eat all the food, get plastered, maybe wreck the dining hall, and then bail before I was forced to clean it up. Then I find that you went and crashed the wedding before I could, I figured I may as well have some fun. Oh, Celly, by the way, your sister got the crap kicked out of her. She's fine though. Got her on my ship being looked after."

"*Grrrr* HOW DARE YOU! This is my new kingdom, and I will not tolerate your presence any longer! The death of my mate and guards, and countless numbers of my children, leave at once!" The queen raged.

"Fuck you, I do what I want....." Cue 60's Spider-man. I spotted the Possibility through the back window of the building, Tiras pointing the main gun at the queen, and I pointed at her. ".... and right now, IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" The beam came forward from the ship, the changeling queen turning around to see it smash through the window. She hastily put up a shield which blocked the beam from damaging her, but it threw her back, back towards me. I spun and smacked her into the wall with Hades, turned to face her, cracked my neck, and hefted my blade to point it at her, wearing the biggest grin ever.

"How is this.... possible. With the love I've absorbed from Shining Armor, I am more powerful than Celestia!" She coughed up some green blood.

"Dumbass, you were, but you lost it as soon as I walked in this room."

"What?!?" She coughed some more as she struggled to stand.

"What do changelings feed on? Positive emotion. Love, joy, bliss, satisfaction. Whatever else. You came to Equestria because it is full of overly happy, loving, trusting ponies, so you could feed on them. If feelgood juice is like food to you, then what do bad emotions do?"

"They're poison....." Cadence suddenly said with realization.

"That's right. Ponies have been living in peace for a very long time, and under the watchful eye of the princesses, Equestria has flourished into a utopia where everyone is happy. Well, almost everyone. The majority of ponies are actually incapable of hate. Because of that, you've been feeding on everyone you walk past. Shining Armor's love for Cadence, the worry everyone feels for their friends is also a form of caring, and you're just drinking it up. And then, I walk in."

"Your point?" Chrysalis asked, no longer coughing as she had regenerated her wounds.

"One of your children tried to feed off me, and nearly fainted from it. In a land of peace, happiness, joy, and love, I'm a great big ball of pain, sadness, anger and hate. Since the second I walked in, not only did I cut off your source of go juice, but I'm actually counteracting your mojo. Standing next to me, you have never been weaker in your entire life. Unable to feed on anyone, you're just a bug, and I have the worlds biggest flyswatter." I lifted my sword to the side.

"Impossible!" She shot a green beam at me, and I felt my strength draining, only for it to stop and the changeling queen fall to the ground, coughing blood again.

"How?" She asked weakly as I stepped over her.

"Griffins however have been living in hardship for a long time, and it got bumped way up in the past nine hundred years, but no, that's not it. MY people, humans, we've been cooking in the fires of war since the first monkey stood up straight, looked at the second and said 'I'm first'. The second disagreed, so he gutted him, only to get stabbed in the back by the third. I have strength, I have strategy, and above all, I have cruelty." She got up and put up a shield, only to be thrown across the room by me bashing her with the flat of my sword before she could raise it fully, knocking her over again. She got up once more, raised her shield and fired a massive magic bolt at me.

"Batter up!" I then played baseball and sent it right back at her. Again breaking her shield, sending her flying across the room. I coldly walked up to her and cut off her front leg, causing her to scream. I smiled joyfully at the sound. She looked at me like she was about to cry.

"THAT, is for your big friend outside hurting my crew member. Eye for an eye and all that, except you're a changeling, and it'll grow back. Look, it already is, so quit your bellyaching." I tossed her stump away and watched as the lime green goo bled out and formed a new leg, which became armored again.

"Well, since I already know how this turns out, I'm leaving, I've got wounded to take care of. See you around Celly."

"So wait, you're not going to let Celestia out, and you're letting Chrysalis go?" Cadence asked, finally recovering from my malicious assault on the changeling queen.

"Yeah, that's right." I replied as the queen shakily got to her hooves, still in quite a bit of pain, and somewhat weakened.

"But, we need your help. You can beat the queen, you can save everypony!"

"And get called a hero? I don't think so. I don't feel like being paraded through town like some kind of icon. I've got my own crap to do."

"You have to! It's your duty to Equestria! Have you no honor?" I stopped, turned around, and looked her in the eye.

"Well excuuuuuuuuse me Princess. I wasn't aware I had to foalsit a nation, especially one that I don't belong to, since I'll be doing that to my OWN nation in a year. Equestria's been around for thousands of years, mine really will be a country in it's infancy. I can't go around solving all your problems just because you can't handle them."

"But, we need your help. If you don't help us, Equestria will fall, Chrysalis will rule! To walk out now, turn your back on ponies who need you, that's just..... evil."

"That's the one thing nobody here seems to get, I am a pirate. I am a bad person, and I do bad things. I'm a necessary evil, going around, changing the world, doing the things nobody else can. But the fact is, despite being a necessary evil, I am still evil. Besides.... I know the future. Regardless of my actions here, the changelings lose. If they won, there wouldn't be a season three, which is already under production. They even gave out some spoilers for possible episodes. Not gonna tell you what, cuz they're not set in stone, and I don't wanna give you bad intel. My point is, I'm here to help, not to DO everything FOR you. Twilight will come in that door any minute, and you'll all be toast."

"Season three? Production? Episodes?" Cadence's eye began to twitch. "You.... you're not just evil, you're insane!"

"There's a saying where I come from, I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it! Oh and look, here they are now." I watched a group of drones bring six tied up ponies into the room.

"Well heya Twilight, nice to see you again..."

"Griffin? What the hay are you doing here?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh, I was just griffin Chrysalis the ass kicking of a lifetime." Somewhere, an unseen audience laughed at my pun. Pinkie heard it too, judging by the way she looked around trying to find the source of the sound. Everybody else was just confused.

"*Sigh* Everyone's a critic. Well, you six seem to have everything under control, I'm out." I suddenly became very dark.

"Oh, by the way Chryssie, hurt any of them and I'll drag you on board my ship, I'll put you on a bed of broken glass then do a river dance on your back, rip off your limbs and play Dragonforce on your head with them while Gilda uses your vocal chords for guitar strings, bathe you in cinderfruit juice, keelhaul you, and finally make you listen to Rebecca Black's 'Friday' for six hours straight. If you survive all that, THEN I'll kill you, which at that point, would be mercy." My mood became bright and cheery again. The queen shuddered violently at the thought, not even knowing what half of it was, and the other half being absolutely ridiculous or childish. It didn't matter, because she and everyone else present know that not only do I have the strength to defeat her, I'm nucking futz enough to actually go through with doing what I threatened her with, and a whole lot more. I cut the bindings off the mane six.

"Face it, you tried to play with the big kids, and you got your ass handed to you. Deal with it. Have fun kiddies. I'll let Luna off when she's fully healed, and give her the relocation paperwork while I'm at it." Then I put my sunglasses back on and left the building. I poked my head back in.

"Oh, and..... happy anniversary." And then I took off into the sky, back to my ship to get the hell out of Canterlot. Everyone stayed silent for a time, until Twilight spoke up.

"Is it just me, or is Griffin bucking SCARY?"

"Oh, who cares about that fool! Now that he's left, I'm back in business!" The queen said with renewed vigor, then began doing some kind of singing thing. During the distraction, Twilight snuck over to Cadence.

"Quick! Go to him while you have the chance." Twilight instructed the princess, shooting her bindings off.

"Steelhorn, we're done here, let's go." I said, taking a seat and breathing deep to try and calm myself.

"For all the crap her guards put us through, the queen herself was easy. She tried to feed on me, and that alone almost killed her. How's Trixie?"

"Sorry Grif, but, it looks like the spell can't reattach limbs." Nadene answered sadly.

"Yeah, I figured that....." I put my claw to my head and dragged it down my face to try and pull off the fatigue. "How's Luna?"

"I am quite well, thank you." She walked into the meeting room, wearing some bandages around her hooves, and her mane wasn't flowing, but for the most part she looked fine.

"Well, at least there's some good news. Say, you wouldn't know how to reattach limbs would you?" She hung her head.

"What about a surgeon?"

"Well, after this much time....."

"Yeah. The tissue would have died. There's no reattaching it. Ahhhhh crap. Well, I suppose we could always go the Army of Darkness route."

"Army of Darkness?" Luna asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Never mind. Anyway, we'll have to get her a prosthetic. This is why we need a doctor. Poor girl. I'm supposed to protect her while she's riding me. I let this happen....." I sighed again, somewhat depressed.

"You can't plan for everything...." Gilda said, stroking my back.

"Yes I can, it's my job to, and I fucked up."

A shock wave passed through the ship, over all of us. It was the same colour as the barrier bubble from before, but it didn't seem to have any effect. Looking out a window, I could see thousands of changelings getting thrown in all directions.

"Well, perhaps we should check on our guest."

We walked down to the room Drone was held in, and instead of a changeling, I saw a green splatter on the wall. Apparently that purple wave repelled all the changelings, and with nowhere to go, she got crushed between it and the walls of the ship.

"Aw, that's gonna take forEVER to clean. Hey Luna, put this in the archives would you?" I passed her the files for the relocated griffins.

"When we find the rest of their families, we'll be putting them back together, and we need to know where everyone is." She nodded and took the papers.

"Know anyone who deals in prosthetic surgery?"

Trixie got taken to a doctor who would operate and put a basic fitting on her stump, so the prosthetic limb could be attached and removed whenever it needed. I told them not to bother giving her a plastic leg, because we'd just throw it out and replace it with a better one. The tribe and their partners all had minor injuries which were being tended to, miraculously, nobody died. I attribute this to having superior gear, strategy, and being on the defensive. Couple cuts, bruises, and a few broken bones, nothing too serious. After a day of cleanup, (which I avoided doing, despite most of it being corpses and blood that I was responsible for painting the town with), the wedding was back on, and Luna got her bandages off. She was fine for a while already, but Nadene told her she should rest for the day to get back to normal. I told her it was a good excuse to slack off. So, I told everyone that she was a little worse off than she really was, and she got to get out of cleaning up the city. She was thankful for that.

"So, you coming?" She asked as she headed down to the wedding.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure after my display, nobody is really looking forward to seeing me again. In fact, I think they might be mad at me." I said sheepishly.

"This is their wedding, I'd hate to steal their thunder, and the ceremony is always so boring. I beat the tar out of Chrysalis and weakened her to the point that she was defeated by 'The power of love' or whatever, I've had my fun. Now everyone gets to think they're the heroes instead of me. Just the way I like it. I've gotta stick around till Trixie is out of the hospital, and Steelhorn is working to properly arm all of us, but he needs materials from the city. You might see me around here or there during the next week or so, but then we've gotta get going. We've got a brand new village to help build."

"You did a good thing, and by your actions, probably saved all of Equestria. I know we're giving you the supplies you need for free as a reward, but, don't you want any recognition for what you did?" The moon princess asked.

"Nah, I don't wanna be bombarded by ponies trying to get my autograph every time I walk down the street. Being a celebrity sucks. If you want to thank me, just keep doing what you're doing, helping me get griffins to new homes, putting families back together."

"Fair enough, although you can only put it off for so long. If you keep doing things like this, eventually ponies will start taking notice."

"Yeah, but, I'll keep it under wraps as much as I can. I think I'll go chill in the gardens for a bit. There's something I need to see."

"Well, alright." And then Luna flew down to the wedding.

"Hello everypony, did I miss anything?"

"Hey Grif?"

"Yeah Gilda?"

"This was a major event right?"

"Yeah."

"So, wouldn't it been put in the show?"

"Yeah, just not my parts."

"Why not?"

"It's a kids show, and I'm rated R. They'll just cut my parts out. I'm not worried about it. I'm gonna head down to see Discord's statue. I have some thinking to do."

I flew down to the city and found the garden, with the chaos serpent forever trapped in a pose of horror, knowing what was about to hit him. I hopped up on the statue, turned into a human, and sat on his head, swinging my legs in front of his face. I took a deep breath, then let it out.

"Sup Discord?"

"Wait, you're not the one I sent here... another human?" I heard a voice in my head.

"Yep, some old geezer snapped his fingers and sent me on my way. Oh, I've had so much fun spreading chaos. Too bad you're stuck in here and didn't get to see it."

"Tell me about it. It's sooooooo BORING being a statue."

"Seriously though, one day a whole mess of humans just pop out of our universe and into this one, all on the day of your release. One was sent by you on purpose, me and one more were sent by some old dude for unknown reasons, and those are just the ones I know, no telling how many others are out there. It's been really busy lately. Disarray and Echo in Wethoof, changelings, slave rebellion to lead. Busy busy busy, but, that's the way it is with chaos isn't it? After all, chaos is nothing more than change, and change is the only constant in the world, shuffling the deck, bringing high things low, and low things high, or somewhere in the middle."

"Did you come here just to lecture me on my own nature?"

"Maybe, I figure torturing you with philosophy is the least of your worries, considering you're a statue. I'm a harbinger of change, just like you. I might not be as powerful as you, but, I'm also not a statue. I figure, the griffins are at the bottom of the deck, and the ponies are at the top, if I cut the deck in half, then shuffle the lower half only before putting it back together, everyone benefits right?"

"Except you. What about your wants?"

"Me? I'm having fun killing stuff. Really, I'm just tagging along. Make a wave then ride it wherever it goes."

"And once you succeed in your little scheme? You won't be happy anymore."

"Yeah yeah, die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. It's fine batman, I'm used to being unhappy. I'll deal with it. I've dealt with it my whole life, and who knows, maybe that will change too?"

"Hahaha! That's the spirit!

"The spirit of CHAOS. Of course, all things exist within chaos, including a means to it's own end. Murphy's law mate, gotta happen sooner or later. Oh, here come Celestia and Luna, this is gonna be funny."

"What is this? You! Who are you, and what are you doing there?" Celestia asked. I cleared my throat, and put on my best Discord impression.

"Oh, there's been so much excitement lately, I figured I'd just pop in and say hello! Did you miss me?" They both started hoofing at the ground and lowered their horns. I went back to using my normal voice.

"Oh come on, lighten up will you, it's a wedding. Besides, he's still locked up tight." I pat the statue on the head, then leapt off, rolling on the ground and jumping to my feet in front of them, then dusting myself off.

"Wait.... Griffin?" Luna asked. I hung my head.

"Yeah. It's me. This is what I really look like."

"For a moment we thought you were Discord." Celestia replied, I looked back up.

"Wouldn't be the first time love." Sparrow swagger. "I seem to remember a certain student of yours thinking the same when we first met."

"So, what are you doing all the way out here?"

"Oh, just having a chat with the blockhead. By the way, do you have a marker or some paint? I was thinking of drawing a mustache on him, maybe a monocle. Just because he's the petrified spirit of disharmony doesn't mean he can't look classy." Celestia face hoofed and Luna giggled at my humor.

"So, you coming to the party?" The moon princess asked.

"Oh, but what would I WEAR?" I replied over dramatically.

"Seriously though, I thought I made it clear that it was my intent to RUIN the party. Besides, my crew isn't coming, Trixie is still in the hospital. Just wouldn't be the same without em you know?"

"You really care about them, don't you?" The older sister asked.

"I do. They're the family and friends I never had. I'd do anything for them, and the same is true for the country I'll be founding. They'll be MY little griffins, in the same way all of Equestria are your little ponies."

"You'll make a fine ruler."

"A very wise man once said, one does not rule, one leads... I intend to let them govern themselves, with me only stepping in if things get out of hand. Wouldn't due to have a council that thinks going to war is a good idea. Besides, that way, it saves me a lot of paperwork and holding court and having audiences and all that crap that eats up so much of your time."

"Wait, you're taking the easy way out?"

"I'll always give a hard task to a lazy man, because he'll find an easy way to do it to spare himself the effort. If they can take care of themselves better than I can, why would I take that responsibility? I'd rather spare myself the headache. I'm not immortal you know, I won't be around forever. In the time I have, I've gotta make it so the country can practically run itself. It won't have the benefit of an undying benevolent leader like Equestria has. Things are gonna be rough for a bit, I have to take as many shortcuts as I can just to make it possible."

"Still, I feel we should thank you, not only did you weaken the changelings to the point that Cadence and Shining Armor could defeat them AND rescued my sister, you left so that they could take the credit for it. You knew all along that things would turn out, and they did."

"Yeah, but, this is it. That's the end of my foresight of your world. I don't know what the future holds anymore. They usually start a season with a villain. Season one was Nightmare moon, season two was Discord, and the end of season two was the changelings. When season three rolls around, I wonder who the villain will be? By that time, I should be set up enough to help out, just, drop me a line if you need an assist. Reverti." I turned into a griffin again.

"You wanna thank me? Just keep assisting wherever you can."

"So, the amulet is what has the magic?" Celestia pondered, taking a closer look.

"Well, it doesn't make the spell possible as much as it protects the wearer from it. It's meant for illusionists, shapeshifters, and tricksters to fight each other without breaking their own spells. I can cast the spell with any gem, the amulet just protects the wearer. That's why I took it off."

"So, this single object is what you based your entire theory of magic on, and it turned out to be right?" Luna asked.

"Pretty much. I recognized the language, then patched it together with legends from my world, tested a bit, and figured it out. Yeah, I'm a genius, I know...."

"And don't forget modest...." Celestia scowled.

"Yes, that too." We all had a bit of laughter at the joke.

"Well, I'm gonna go check up on Trixie. She should have had her surgery by now. Oh, first things first. Take a picture of the three of us."

"What for?"

"Oh, memories, fun, something to tell my grand kids." I drew my sword and stuck it in the ground, the princesses scooted up beside me, and the Statue of Discord was behind us. Celestia had one of her guards fetch a photographer.

"Say cheese!" The pegasus I recognized as Shutterfly, (not Fluttershy) called.

"Futterwacken!" The princesses looked at me confused, my sunglasses perched on my head, one claw holding my sword, the other reaching towards the camera, making a peace sign, and the image was immortalized in ink.

"Send me a couple copies when it comes out, you know how." And then I left to rest on the ship. I was tired, I'd go see Trixie in the morning.

I heard soft crying coming from the operating room as Gilda and Nadene waited patiently. Etch and Growl couldn't bare to hear the sound of their injured team mate and had their ears pressed against their heads. Trixie was rolled out to us in a wheelchair. She had a plastic hoof painted the same colour as her coat, which she kept looking at like it was some sort of monster attached to her. Her eyes were red. Obviously crying from both pain and loss. I immediately took her in a hug while she still sat in the chair.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault."

"My, my leg..... it, it's gone......"

"I know...."

"I, can't help you anymore. I... I...." I pulled back to look her in the eyes.

"No. Even missing a hoof, you are far more than you were, and now, you have an opportunity. Among humans, many have lost arms or legs, but only the most badass of them would replace the severed limb with a weapon. They rose to become legends, their names feared and respected throughout the world. I'll have Steelhorn come up with something."

"No, I mean.... I can't...... I'm scared..... I lost a leg... what if it's my horn next time, or my head? I...."

"It won't happen again... I won't let it happen...."

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place! You can try to account for everything but you CAN'T! YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHING! You say it won't happen again but guess what, it WILL! You won't be able to stop it! You couldn't this time, and you won't be able to next time!" She was practically screaming now. I backed away from her and killed my emotions. The temperature in the room dropped by several degrees, something not unnoticed by the rest of my crew and the other patients.

"Fine then. I'm not going to make you come with us. After all, it was always your choice. We've been pardoned, you've been given an out. If that's what you really want, take it, just take it and go." And then I turned to leave.

"Griffin..." She stopped yelling and was crying again.

"I suggest you figure yourself out. The ship is leaving in five days, you have until then to decide whether or not you want to be on it." I walked out of the room and slammed the door as I did. I left the hospital, grabbed a few clouds and made a box out of them so I wouldn't be disturbed, and proceeded to cry my eyes out.

Resolution (54)

Resolution

"Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT!" Sitting in my room I pounded my left claw on my desk, then I stopped and looked at it.

'Think about how she feels, she just got maimed, and it's my fault. She's scared, and she's right, despite my knowledge, talent, and skill, I can't plan for everything. Sometimes stuff just happens. How would I feel if I lost MY arm?' I sat there, imagining taking my sword and cutting my hand off, what it would feel like, what it would be like after. I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts.

"Hey Gilda, I'm going down to the town for a drink. Actually, more than one, probably till I pass out. Wanna come with?"

"You know how I feel about you getting drunk, but, since the fight's over and we're in a safe haven go ahead, but, leave all your stuff behind. We don't need you running through town plastered singing 'I can swing my sword', especially since you act it out. Sure, I'll come with. I think after that fiasco, we could all use a drink."

"Etch, Growl, you coming?" They nodded.

"You know what, screw it, everyone can come. The whole crew and tribe, and Trixie too. Till this week is out and she's made her decision, she's still one of us damn it."

The tribe and griffins who joined us, who became official members of the White Wind, decided not to come along, wanting to get more training in with their partners, Steelhorn was far too busy at the smith, and Shimmer was with him. If Gilda was the dragon's mom, that minotaur was her dad. They bonded so well, he was a really good father figure. Besides, she was too young to drink. I promised I'd bring him back some booze of his own, since Pinkie drank all his scotch. How she wasn't plastered the whole trip, I don't know. Then again, she can swallow an entire cake and not have diabetes, so when it comes to Pinkie, all logic is off the table. So, we took a mass of bits, Maria and Nadene went and picked the unicorn up from the hotel she was staying in instead of the ship. They didn't tell her where they were going.

"What, why did you bring me here?" Trixie asked.

"Hello everypony!" I jumped up to the stage in the bar. Everyone turned to look at me.

"Unless you were in here plastered nonstop for the past five days, you should all know about the changeling attack that happened at the royal wedding, and you'd all know about the brave ponies, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Shining Armor, and Princess Cadence, who by their efforts, the swarm was turned away." Cheers rang out.

"But, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm going to talk about all the other brave ones who fought the swarm to protect Equestria."

"Oh Celestia, he isn't...." Trixie face hoofed, then she realized she had done it with her prosthetic.

"The royal guard, Princess Luna herself who was injured trying to clear the way for the element bearers, and, our very own Trixie, who gave her leg fighting the changeling queen's very own personal guard. Come on, stand up, come up here!" I looked and watched her shrink, only to have Gilda pick her up and literally throw her at the stage. Considering she had gotten out of the hospital three days ago, it probably wasn't such a good idea, but, nevertheless, I caught her and put her in front of the mic. The entire pub went quiet.

"Go on, say something...."

"What?"

"Whatever you feel like."

"Um, hello everypony."

"TRIXIE! TRIXIE! TRIXIE! One thing you can always count on for bars is to be easily riled up. So, you have a bunch of inebriated ponies who are celebrating their victory over the changelings, and here's someone who gave a limb in the fight against them. They're gonna cheer for her. Of course, this would appeal to the performer in her, and help her get her mood back up. I'm a manipulative bastard.

"Well, I can't really say anything about the fight so.... I guess I can show you?" She shrugged.

"Show! Show! Show!" This was perfect. If she showed what happened, it would also help her to accept it. To her, losing her leg was the worst thing that could ever happen, but if she showed it and had a crowd cheer for her, then it might change her opinion. Her horn began to glow as a 3d image of the fight appeared on the stage, both of us leaving it so they could watch the show without us in the way.

Trixie may have accentuated what the changeling reavers looked like. Giant, slobbering, lumbering but deadly fast, hideous things they were indeed, but with her talent for showmareship, they looked all the more ferocious when she showed it. She started off by showing me using my voice alone to send a mass of the black bugs flying off of princess Luna, Nadene and Maria bailing to get her to safety, and the airship hanging behind us blasting the insect ponies out of the sky in a literal rain of fire. Then she showed the two of them get up, and the other two crash through the wall, sending several guard ponies flying. That may have been a little addition on her part. Then she showed us melt the first one, Etch and Growl take down the second, and the third tackle Gilda after it had been scorched by her arrows. Finally, she showed the fourth smash her gun and rip her leg off with it, followed by Growl killing it, and taking her off me. And finally, me killing the last one as it stood over Gilda. With that, the illusion vanished, and the crowd just sat there speechless.

"Alright, and that's how it happened." She held up her fake leg, twisting it so it would pop off of it's mounting, showed it to everyone, then put it back on.

"Let's hear it for Trixie!" I shouted, getting them all to jump up and start hooting and hollering, she shrank back down again, but this time with a blush instead of embarrassment or shame. I went up to the bartender and ordered a few rounds, then jumped back onto the stage.

"And now, a toast to Trixie!" I took the microphone, and began to sing. The bartender passed Trixie a mug of ale, while I grabbed a bottle of whiskey.

"'Tis half past three and the chill is gone
It's the longest binge I've ever been on
Had so many pints, my mind's stupefied
But through all the haze I still hear the cry!

Drink, motherbucker, drink, motherbucker, drink!" At which point, the crowd began to sing as well, and everyone downed their beverages, only to be refilled, and me to grab a bottle of, you guessed it, Applejack Daniel's.

"A curse to you lads, a curse on your head,
Drinking pint after pint until I am dead
I just keep drinking and I don't know why,
But tonight is the night that I drink 'til I die!

It's quarter to five and I'm still goin strong
Is this the only place I truly belong?
To make it all end, I the good Lord beseech,
Lying on the floor with my drink out of reach!

Drink, motherbucker, drink, motherbucker, drink!
A curse to you lads, a curse on your head,
Drinking pint after pint until I am dead
I just keep drinking and I don't know why,
But tonight is the night that I drink 'til I die!

'Tis six in the morn, can't remember my name,
I see all those faces - they all look the same
And the puke on the floor makes a terrible stink,
What is this demon that makes me want to drink?

Drink, motherbucker, drink, motherbucker, drink!
A curse to you lads, a curse on your head,
Drinking pint after pint until I am dead
I just keep drinking and I don't know why,
But tonight is the night that I drink 'til I die!

(Drink, motherbucker, drink, motherbucker, drink!
Drink, motherbucker....)

Drink, motherbucker, drink, motherbucker, drink!
A curse to you lad, a curse on your head,
Drinking pint after pint until I am dead
I just keep drinking and I don't know why,
But tonight is the night that I drink 'til I die!

It's now almost noon and the spinning has stopped
There'll be no more drink, to the floor I do drop
And there's Ol' Nick offering eternal pain,
He smiles as he sings this infernal refrain:

Drink, motherbucker, drink, motherbucker, drink!
A curse to you lads, a curse on your head,
Drinking pint after pint until I am dead
I just keep drinking and I don't know why,
But tonight is the night that I drink 'til I die!

A curse to you lad, a curse on your head,
Drinking pint after pint until I am dead
I just keep drinking and I don't know why,
But tonight is the night that I driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink 'tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!"

At the end of it all, most of the ponies were downed, lying on the floor, passed out. Gilda, Nadene, Growl, Maria, and myself were a bit tipsy as compared to plastered, as we were bigger than the others. Trixie hadn't gotten that much, but she did have the permanent heat in her face. She was at the point that you know what you're doing, but you just don't care, and you may not remember where you were. More commonly known as the last thing you remember before waking up the next morning in bed with a stranger. Etch was out cold. He and Growl's partners were still okay to fly, having been a bit more relaxed in their drinking.

"Ya know Grif.... maybe I wash a bit hashty in thinkin on quittin...." Trixie had a slight slur when she spoke.

"I know. You were scared. You know I was actually thinkin of cutting off my hand just so you wouldn't be the only one?"

"You woulda done that fer me?"

"Of course, we're all a family. I'd do anything for you guys. I love ya'll."

"Thanksh Grif." She gave me a peck on the cheek and a hug, not romantic, just, the way a family would. She tried to stand up and tripped.

"Whoa now, hold on there, maybe we should get you back to the ship?"

"Yesh, that would be a good idea, but you don't got ur harness, and I don't think I could hold onta ya."

"Don't worry, I'll carry ya." I swept her up like a parent would a child, and then we all walked out of the bar and flew back to the ship...... without paying.

"Tell you what Trix, we'll do our food run, make sure the village is doing well, and then we'll head to Bitsburg. When Sparkles was on board, she had her pamphlet and wouldn't shut up about how they have the best in mechanical limbs and stuff. What do ya say we go there, ditch the plastic one and get you something you like?"

"Like, a diamond hoof encrusted with rubies?"

"Yep, and it'll shoot lasers, and have a shield in it so you don't get hurt again, and it'll be shiny, and worth more than the ship!" Okay, so, a bit unrealistic, but we're both drunk, what do you want?

"Promish?"

"Promise." I put her to bed and tucked her in, thinking to myself, 'Oh what shall I do with a drunken unicorn?', and told Steelhorn that unless he wanted to pay a several thousand bit bar tab to get us moving, which he did so immediately. I went and laid down in my bed, Gilda walking in after me with red cheeks.

"Ya did it again."

"Got drunk? I know, I'm sorry."

"No, not that, the other thing. Just when ya think we're about to tear ourselves apart, you turn around and put us back together, stronger than ever." She replied, coming closer to my bed.

"Is what I do." She hopped into my bed next to me, curling herself up for warmth.

"You know, I'm starting to think you might do it. All that talk about putting families back together, what I would do to see mom and dad again."

"If they're out there, we'll find em, and everyone else, and then there'll be smiles again. We'll have a great big happy world tour, making everyone happy and throwing a massive party for everyone who gets to see their family again, and birthday parties for everyone who didn't get one." Yep, I'm drunk, there's no way even Pinkie Pie could pull that off.

"That sounds nice. So, I've been thinking.... I've got dibs on you right?"

"Yeps..... till you decide you get sick of me, I'm yours."

"If you're mine, does that mean you gotta do what I want?" She smirked.

"Depends, what do you want?" She whispered something in my ear that made my eyes shoot wide open, something I can't say because then I'd have to rate this fic mature instead of teen.

"I think I can do that." I said with a smile.

Rounds (55)

Rounds

Mrrrrhmrh, chocolate pudding........... I hate that hedgehog........... come on everypony, smile smile smile...... uh?

I opened my eyes slowly, the rising sun coming in through my room's window. I shifted my neck, relishing the satisfying pops that came from it. I moved my right wing, popping it's joints as well, then the left...... which didn't move.

"Huh?" I felt movement by my side, rhythmic breathing. I turned to see Gilda lying there next to me, starting to get roused by my movement. She stretched herself out, rolled towards me, taking a bit of pressure off my wing. Her eyes still half lidded from drowsiness, she began drawing circles in my chest feathers with her claw.

"Morning." She said. Then, I realized I had a bit of a headache. I brought my claw to my head, then suddenly remembered the events of last night. The drinking, Trixie's show, Gilda and I banging........ oh shit!

"Gilda...... did we?"

"Uh huh." She nodded and smirked.

"Oh.... well.... that's..... good?"

"Yes. That's good..... have you never done it before?"

"No... you're my first..."

"Oh.... right.... you were...."

"A loser...."

"Right...."

"So, have you? I'm not..."

"Well, you're the first male." If I had a drink, I would have spat it out. I immediately felt sober, and just sat up in bed. She began laughing.

"Gilda, how old are you?"

"22."

"And I'm 19. Which means I'm with an older woman. I am okay with this." I smiled. She sat up too.

"So, Grif.... what are human mating rituals like?" She was suddenly interested.

"Well, not that I know from experience but, normally both get drunk, and then the guy takes advantage of the girl. So, pretty much the same as what we did, except the last part was backwards." I began giggling stupidly, and she followed, which soon broke into an all out fit of laughter.

"Well, what we did wasn't the normal griffin thing. Then again, we're not normal griffins." She replied.

"So, what is the normal griffin thing?"

"Well, usually the male goes the the female's father, and challenges him to a duel. Not to the death, just, till one gives, although certain particularly stubborn fools won't give in and sometimes it goes too far, it normally doesn't happen unless there's another reason, like bad blood between families."

"Okay, and then?"

"Well, if the father wins, he can deny the suitor, or he can say that he 'respects his courage' which is the go ahead. Then, the pair go off to a private location, where they fight. Whoever loses takes the submissive position. If the girl wins, the guy lays down, and she can choose to walk away, if she wants. On rare occasions, the female goes and fights the male's mother, and then the same thing happens for the reverse gender."

"So, basically 19th century courtship based on dominance and submission, except it goes both ways, combined with a gladiator competition. Well then, if we find your dad, I guess I'll have to beat the stuffing out of him, and in the event we ever go to earth, you can kill BOTH my parents." More laughing.

"Hey, quit the racket...." I heard Trixie call from the next room. "You two were up all night making noise so I didn't get any sleep, and now the sun is barely up, I have a hangover, and you two won't shut up!"

Gilda and I both blushed.

"Trixie is cranky when she's hung over." My partner declared.

"Thin walls, I'll have to get Steelhorn to do something about that." I replied.

"Then you maaaaay want to give him this." She pulled a bottle of scotch from under the bed.

"Swiped from the bar?"

"You know it."

"That's my girl."

"Alright everyone, we're going to stop in at the village, make sure everyone is set up properly, then head to Bitsburg to get Trixie a new leg, and hopefully find a doctor. We've gone FAR too long without, and I'm not having anyone else get hurt on my watch. Once we've got that, we'll head north into the western part of Gem Fido, and hit up a warren there."

"Sounds good to me." Nadene replied.

"Yeah, this plastic thing sucks. I mean, we were in CANTERLOT, and all they gave me was a cheap painted hunk of junk." Trixie scowled.

"Exactly, they should have given you something in chrome, that way even if it was useless you could still look awesome." Trixie facehoofed.

"Well, in the gear capitol of the world, between the locals and Steelhorn, I'm sure we could find something more fitting." Maria added.

"Aye, I been meaning ta take a look at that. Who knows? Maybe I could make some bits offhand while I wait for the ship to sell?" The minotaur pondered as he jumped down to the top deck.

"Face it Steel, we're probably going to be renting the Possibility off you till you die of old age."

"Bah! I'm not a day over 60! I've still got a good 80 years left!" He bellowed. Right, minotaurs live just as long as griffins do.

"Well, let's get going then."

After a couple days at full speed, we arrived at the island we dropped the villagers off on. We had been getting weekly reports of their progress, and all seemed to be going well. A pair of griffins, the village chief and another, flew up to meet us.

"Ahoy!" I called merrily, glad to see that they were in good health.

"Glad to see you have returned. Welcome to the still under construction village of does-not-yet-have-a-name." The elder replied.

"Well then, I guess I'm right on time for the naming ceremony. We brought stuff." I passed him an inventory of supplies we had gotten from Canterlot for our services, things used to help speed the construction of the village, and a few other special orders, meaning bows, arrows, nets, and harpoons. Considering that this was, in essence, a maritime/ island nation I was founding, pretty much, they're gonna need to fish, and I've seen some pretty big ones when we flew over.

"Alright, let's get going."

"Aha, so, you built it on the cliff side. Protection from attack, yet easy to reach if you can fly. Near the shore so you can fish on the beach head at the base of the cliff, good, good. You sure know what you're doing with the placement at least."

"Comes from being threatened mostly. We know all too well how to make someplace hard to attack." The younger griffin replied.

"Agreed. Well, let's see what you have set up here."

Touring the village, they already had a town center set up, a stockpile for city goods, a very large basin had been dug out to hold fish and other aquatic food they found, and they could also breed the fish within. A couple hut houses, with farms for rice, potatoes, and a variety of other things had been set up and were being worked. For fruit, they could just go into the jungle.

"Well well, if it isn't Whiplash. Still trying to become a guard?" I poked the pansy pegasus guard from before when I saw him wandering through the village.

"Hmmph, you remembered my name? Should I feel honoured? I mean, you're a big shot now, hanging out with the princesses, going to the royal wedding." He shot back.

"Quit being a smartass, that's my job. Anyway, what brings you here? Don't tell me you're still trying to be a guard?"

"Nah. I mean, I always wanted to be one, but, I'm just not cut out for it. I learned how to fight properly from the zebras, but, my heart just wasn't really in it. So, I went to turn in a resignation. Soon as I did that, they gave me a change of orders. Turns out, I'm a diplomat now. Word about your little escapades got around quick, and since the zebras know and trust me, and I speak the language, I was picked to play peacekeeper between them and the new arrivals. Promote, peace, understanding, and harmony, organize trading, stuff like that."

"Well, good on ya. By the way, how did you find out about me and the princesses?" He showed me a photo of the three of us standing next to Discord's statue.

"So, you get a copy and I still don't have one? What a ripoff."

"Actually, Shutterfly is my second cousin. She printed a couple private ones for the family. Nopony believed her when she said the famous captain of the Griffin pirates was pals with the princesses, so she just HAD to show us all up."

"Figures. Well, do a good job. You all seem to have everything taken care of."

Continuing through the settlement, seeing griffins and ponies hard at work under the direction of a unicorn stallion wearing a hard hat, who seemed to be the boss, I decided to give him a bit of a scare.

"You there, supervisor!" He jumped when he saw me.

"U..uhuhuh...yeah?" Whose afraid of the big bad griffin? You are!

"Let me see those plans." He quickly passed me an overview of how the village would be set up. I noticed a distinct lack of something.

"Tsk tsk, really? Come on, what were you thinking with that one? Well, it's fine I suppose...... WHAT? What do you call this?" I pointed to a blank spot on the map.

"Umm....."

"I call it not-a-lighthouse. Seriously, a village on the edge of a cliff, how is anyone supposed to find it? In fact, how is anyone supposed to not crash into it? If boats come by at night or during a storm, it would be disastrous. Fix this!"

"Y-y-y-yes sir!" And then he bounded off to revise his plan.

"So Grif, is the lighthouse really that important?" Nadene asked.

"Of course! Not only is it a lighthouse, but it will also act as a watch tower. In fact, instead of the regular light, I intend to have Steelhorn build one of the laser cannons on it. Specifically train someone to use it. That way, it'll act as a spot light and a defense mechanism. It wouldn't be good to be unprepared. Even with the bows and arrows, they could be overwhelmed if there's enough attackers. This thing would be a giant deterrent to attackers, as well as a guide for boats."

After saying goodbye to the village which was still under construction, and giving a couple insights on what they should get set up, and telling them we'd return inside of a month to name the place, we got back on board and headed to Bitsburg to hopefully find a doctor.

After taking some time for travel, we arrived at the iconic steampunk city. The Hindentanic was back up, having been hauled back and rebuilt. Apparently they found what was wrong with it, and got it working again. I still didn't trust it. With a name like that, it's doomed to fail, but, oh well. Some ponies just have way more money than they should. We moored at the dock, no longer wanted, it felt kind of good to walk into town without being stopped by guards. At the same time, a number of ponies still cowered. After all, a large number of cats, griffins, a couple of dogs, and a young dragon, walking through town armed to the teeth makes an impression. We all fanned out and looked around.

"After four hours, nothing. Well, we'll search for the rest of the day. Maybe we're going about this wrong..... and look at that, someone with a mechanical wing."

"Hey, you got the time?"

"Ja, it's half past waaaahahaaaa!" The red pegasus mare with blue mane jumped back.

"I'm not that ugly am I? I think I'm fairly good looking myself....." I blew on my claws.

"Oh, no, It's not that, I just wasn't......" She had a German, (Or, is it Germane?) accent.

"Yeah yeah, big scary griffin, mind if I ask a question? Then I'll be on my way."

"Oh, well, okay." She seemed nervous.

"Not meaning to offend, but I see you have a fake wing."

"Yes.... I lost it in, an accident." She hung her head.

"It looks pretty good, where'd you get it done?" She looked up at me.

"Why do you want to know?" Trixie riding on my back popped her left hoof off, waved it around, then put it back on.

"I... I see. Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to show you." Trixie and I followed her back to a kind of run down workshop, with gears and smokestacks.

"Ahh, Furnace, you are back! I hope you brought customers with you this time!" A harsh voice came from under a pile of gears and such, same accent. Now, I can appreciate a good mess, but this was just ridiculous.

"I have father, a unicorn who needs a new hoof." Out stepped a fairly old looking unicorn.... or, was it a pegasus? Wait, what? Mechanical left and right wings, left hind leg, right front leg, eyepiece, a backpack, and wires going to his horn? Yep, okay, wait, there is the base of the wing there, just, the rest is mechanical. Now I'm really confused, and at the same time, I now understand completely why his workshop is a mess. It's as filled with gears, cogs, and wires as he is. He had a white beard coming from his chin, light beige colour, oily black mane, smells like he hasn't showered in months......

"Were? I do not see un unicorn in need of a hoof." Trixie pulled her fake one off again, to make a point.

"What is wrong with it? It works, does it not?"

"It's garbage. I mean, sure it works but..... just look at it. It belongs in a dump!" I replied sternly. Suddenly, he got a glimmer in his eye.

"What do you see around you?" He asked me.

"I see a workshop, filled with opportunity."

"And what is this?" He held up a doodlemabob of some kind.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" I replied with enthusiasm.

"Neither do I!" He returned, then began to chuckle.

"Finally! Somepony with an appreciation of machinery!" I take it he's like the soup nazi, except with his machines. Better butter him up.

"Well, considering I live on the finest piece of engineering this side of the multiverse, I had better." His daughter face hoofed.

"Ah, but, where are mein manners? I am Geirmund Freud." (Gearmund. His cutie mark is a gear. Duh.) "Ze finest inventor, tinkerer, und surgeon in Equestria!"

"I'm Griffin. I'm not sure if you have heard of me before....."

"Ah! You are ze one making such a mess all over ze world! Your reputation precedes you." He gave a bit of a bow. "I am honoured zat you would visit mein humble shop. Zis is Frauline Furnance, mein daughter und assistant."

"Don't mind him, he's eccentric." Frauline said to nobody in particular.

"I am not eccentric, I am a genius." Surprisingly, both myself and Geirmund said this at the same time.

"Oh, wait, who were you talking about?" We asked her.

"Nnrgh, NEVERMIND!" And then she stormed out.

"What's her problem?" Trixie asked.

"Ahh, well, when I say I am the finest inventor and tinkerer in Equestria, it really is true, but, unfortunately, not many ponies have need for my inventions. Why have a steel hoof with a dozen different functions when you can have a light plastic one that doesn't weigh you down?"

"Because the steel one is awesome, won't break, and can help you in day to day activities?" I offered.

"Exactly! Would you believe they shot down my idea of having a can opener in the prosthetic? 'Just use your teeth' they said."

"Well 'they' clearly have no sense of imagination."

"Oh brother." Trixie face hoofed with her fake leg, being held in her real one.

"What about surgeon?" I asked a little nervously. One does not simply become a surgeon half assed, nor do you simply stop doing it.

"Well, it wasn't my special talent, I really had a flare for machinery, so, at one point, I removed a patient's leg bone and replaced it with stainless steel. He wasn't too happy about it, although I can't see why. It won't break ever again now, I did him a favour! But, anyvay, that's how I lost my medical license."

"Freakin dumbass. Who wouldn't want a metal leg?"

"What does that have to do with Furnace storming out?" Trixie got us back on topic.

"Well, after I was discredited, things took a turn for the worse. Not many bits coming in these days. Few ponies would have a 'crazy' pony be their doctor, or replace their limbs. She was upset that you were, 'encouraging' my bad habits." He hung his head.

"She means well, she just want's to take care of me. I'm not a young colt anymore. I hardly have the bits to keep my shop open."

"Well, guess what. We're pirates. We love bad habits, and we specialize in crazy. Having something broke in your noggin is almost a requirement to join us." Suddenly, he became stern.

"NO! Nein! I will not join your crew. I know all about what you are doing, helping ze griffins und ze diamond dogs, and zat is fine, but I am not coming with you! I have my life here. My workshop. My daughter. My.... beloved......."

'Aww hell, he won't leave cuz his wife's grave is here or something like that.'

"Will you at least....."

"NO! Go away!" And then he pulled a lever, and a giant red boot came down from the ceiling and kicked us out onto the street. He threw Trixie's leg after us, which bonked her on the head.

"Damnit."

"So, what do we do now?"

"We go back in, and we drag him out."

"Isn't that kidnapping?" She tilted her head to ponder. I mimicked her motion, smiled, and pointed at my face.

"Pirate." She facehoofed at her own ignorance.

"Right. Let's get him." She said with a huff. And then I broke the door down.

Guuh, sorry it's been so long since I updated. I've just had a lot on my plate. Summer (or far enough through spring to call it that), so family wants to do stuff, which is great, except I'm also going to college over the summer, and that, while not hard, takes up a lot of my 'pony time'.

Meet the Medic (56)

Meet The Medic

"I thought I told you to leave!" Geirmund raged, pulling the same lever as before. The boot came down, and I cut it off at the joint.

"We're not done yet."

"Go!" He bucked a button, and I raised my sword to block a number of needles being shot from a wall.

"No!" Trixie tossed a vial of sleeping gas, which he blocked with his wing and flung right back at us. I batted it into the wall, only for him to kick a crank, unlocking it from it's position and letting out a loud whine as it spun. A large, black metal tube lowered from the ceiling, and he took up a position behind it.

"Holy fuck it's a cannon!" I jumped out of the way at the last second, the cannon ball flying through the wall, out of the shop and into the street, barely missing a bystander.

"Hey! We just wanna talk!"

"There is nothing to discuss! I am not joining your crew!"

"That's not what I want to talk about!" He paused, about to pull a lever.

"It's not?" He asked. I slowly lowered my sword, still in a defensive stance however.

"..... Okay, maybe it is, but regardless, we still need you to make Trixie's new hoof! You've got the skill, we've got the bits." He paused for a moment, and put a bronzed metal hoof to his chin, deep in thought.

"No!" He pulled the lever..... and nothing happened.

"Ack, come on." He pulled it again, still nothing happened, and then he bucked it, and a freaking minigun lowered from the ceiling with a crash, then began spinning up.

"Father!" Came the scornful voice of Frauline Furnace.

"Uh oh." He stopped and started stepping backwards, the deadly weapon stopped spinning, and he looked very much afraid of the extremely angry pegasus that had burst through the door, or rather, would have if it wasn't already cut down.

"I go through the effort of bringing you customers, and you kick them out, and then fire a cannon at them? Look at the hole in ze wall! You almost took Freebird's head off!"

"He was never ze brightest boy...."

"This is serious faja! You know they said that one more incident and they'd shut the shop down! Are you trying to bring ze guards? And THAT!" She pointed at the minigun.

"You know you should not have that in ze first place! If they find you with something like that, you'll go to jail!" She scowled.

"But Frauline...."

"No but's faja, I am disappointed in you." She stomped upstairs and slammed the door to her room. Trixie and I just stood there, wondering what happened.

"Dafuq?"

"Ayeyeye. Frauline...." He pulled another lever, and all the things that had lowered down folded back up into their proper spots.

"I suppose I haven't been the best host...... ahhhh, alright, go to ze living room, I'll be down in a minute with some tea...."

Trixie and I looked around confused.

"Ack, it's ze second on ze left."

Geirmund and Furnace came in the room about a half hour later, she looked quite upset, a little angry, a little crying, and he looked absolutely terrible. We had heard her yelling at him, although we couldn't quite tell what had been said. We weren't listening.

"So, um, nice weather we're having?" I offered meekly. Having a cannon shot at you, followed by staring down the barrel of a minigun, it's kind of humbling. I'm normally not scared of anything, usually because I'm the scary one. Machines don't feel fear, they just do what they're built to. This guy built a deadly weapon, and probably has many more stored throughout this shop. Perhaps breaking in wasn't the best idea, but, too late now.

"Yes, so long as father isn't brewing up a storm." Frauline retorted. Awkward smiles all around.

"So, ze unicorn needs a new hoof, what type do you want? Can opener? Rivet gun?" The bearded.... alicorn... asked.

"I was thinking more of a heavy beam cannon with built in shield matrix, or perhaps a grenade launcher with a force field. Either way, it's gotta hit hard, protect the user, and then fold back up so she can still walk on it."

Geirmund and Frauline looked at each other, then nearly fell over laughing.

"Bahaha, zat is a good one. No, but seriously. How can I help you?" He turned to look at me, only to find my face was stern.

"You are serious? Listen child, I admit you have good ideas, but zis is not science fiction. It cannot be done!"

"And here I thought you were the finest inventor in Equestria. I know for a FACT it can be done, because I've seen it. Heck, I use something similar on a daily basis, just, not compact. Well, it seems like I wasted my time with you after all. Let's go Trixie. This guy is just a hack after all. No inventor worth their salt EVER says, 'it can't be done'. They find a way to make it happen." And then we got up and began to walk out.

"Wait, who are you to call me a hack? I am ze great Geirmund Freud! If it is possible, than I can do it! You are nothing but a lowly pirate. I invite you into my home, bring you tea, and then you insult me? Who do you think you are?"

"I'm the one who changes the world, Geirmund Fraud. If you want to get over yourself and prove that you aren't what everyone says you are, come to my ship at dusk, and bring your equipment with you."

"What do you have in mind?" His daughter asked.

"A competition."

"He's not going to come......" Gilda stated, looking out at the city we were moored above.

"Damn, I was so sure that would work. Did I read his personality wrong? He seemed like someone who would never back down from a challenge."

"Well, if he doesn't show up, then he really isn't worth our time." Trixie added.

"You're right, no use worrying about it." I let out a sigh.

"And here I was hoping for a bit o competition, ta really test my mettle." Steelhorn huffed.

"If he doesn't come, he's just a dummy." Shimmer added.

"You said it Shim."

"Father, GO!"

"Nein! After the way he broke into my house, ruined my workshop, and insulted me, I hope to never see him again!"

"Father, YOU attacked him, and he's a pirate, what did you expect to happen?"

"The same thing I expect to happen if I put one hoof on his ship. They'll just take off."

"You HAVE wings father. You could just fly away."

"What about Cable?"

"Mother will be FINE. Besides, you ARE the best. You can make a bet, and when you win, we'll have all the bits we need, and we can afford to get her proper medical care. Just go. What do you have to lose?"

"Ack, Frauline, when you're right, you're right. Inventing is all about taking a chance, knowing it might never turn out. If an opportunity were to present itself, and I let it slip by, I really would be a hack, a fraud. Just, if I do not come back, please, take care of her?"

"She's my mother, of course I will."

"Wait, wait! I am here! Let me on!" I heard a voice call from below.

"You can fly, can't cha?"

"Oh, right. Get my things will you?" Freud was hauling a cart full of a great many gears, wires, levers, and other assorted stuff. I motioned to a number of griffins, who flew down and brought his things up, with him constantly berating them to be more careful. They set it down on the deck, and he finally landed, squinting his eyes.

"Too shiny, it's gaudy."

"And who are yoo ta question mah craftsmanship? She's mah life's work ya know, and a heck of a lot better than anything yoo've built." The minotaur bellowed.

"I am ze finest inventor in Equestria, that's who, you buffoon!" They growled at each other.

"Alright, enough of that. Steelhorn, meet Geirmund Freud. He's the one you'll be competing against."

"Zen I take it there will be a wager of sorts?" The mech pony asked.

"Naturally."

"Zen what are ze stakes?"

"If we win, you become the ships doctor. Despite having lost your medical license, you are still a learned surgeon, and if you couldn't tell by the fact that Trixie here lost a hoof, we need one."

"And when I win, not only will you leave me and mein daughter alone, but you will pay me one million bits."

"Hmm, that's a pretty big sum. Steel, can we cover it?"

"Of course we can. Between what we picked up the the dog warren, and what we got from Canterlot, we'd have to sell all of it, and some of the stuff I've crafted as well, but, we could do it."

"Well, alright then. Deal." All three of us shook on it.

"Now for the challenge. Both of you will have three hours each to make a prosthetic limb for Trixie, that is not only fully functional, but contains both a method of attack and defense within. You'll begin building it tomorrow at dawn, so you have the night to think of the design. You can use any of the facilities on board. Good luck." Geirmund walked up to me and gave me the stink eye.

"You are a trickster, captain. I refuse to give you what you want, so you play my pride. Now that the wager has been made, I either give you what you want, or I lose, and then give you what you want, bound by my honour." I just laughed.

"You should know better than to deal with pirates, we don't play fair. I suggest you get to work, your future is at stake."

"Well Gilda, we get a show tomorrow, we should probably get some sleep." I told her as we lay on the bed in our new room. Gilda's room had been refitted to better serve Shimmer's purposes. After all, she wasn't a baby. Well, she's a baby dragon, but, she's as mature as Spike, probably early teen years. My room had been turned into a kind of office, and the two of us slept in a different room, in another part of the ship entirely. Too many 'noise complaints' from the rest of the crew, if you know what I mean.

"Yeah, sleep. What do you think of Freud anyway?" She asked.

"Well, he may very well be the only living thing more loopy than I am, immortal spirits of disharmony not included. He's a genius, that's for sure, but he definitely has problems he needs to work through. Still, We need him. Even if he just stays on the ship, in his room, and doesn't fight, that's fine. We just need someone to patch us up when we get back, and while Nadene's potions are great, they're no replacement for proper surgery. I mean, I can remove shrapnel and stuff, but I don't know anything about reattaching limbs, or working on organs. Just basic muscle tissue only."

"I just can't wait to see his face when you show him what you really look like."

"Yeah. Hi, you're an inventor? Bitch, please. I'm an alien from a world with advanced technology. He's gonna shit bricks. And just wait till we show him non unicorn magic."

"Don't you just love the sound someone's mind makes when everything they know is thrown out the window and their whole world shatters?" Gilda smiled.

"Absolutely. Why do you think I keep doing it? I seem to remember you making the same sound when I first killed that dragon. It looked like your brain melted. Then Blueblood's when we saved his ass, then Twilight's, although I have to say my favorite was Princess Cadence. Her fiance made temporarily brain dead, Celestia defeated, Chrysalis taking over the country, and I just dance in there wearing sunglasses and playing Catgroove, kick the changeling queen's ass, then walk away as if nothing happened. It was one of those 'nothing makes sense, I don't even care anymore' faces."

"I wish I could have seen it." She frowned.

"You know, I really ought to just bring a camera with me, so I can take pictures of all those moments. Oh! We so have to do that when we kill our first alpha. Before he dies, just hold up his maimed body, put some holiday stuff on him like a sun hat or something, and take a picture of us all together like we're on vacation."

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"And that's why you love me."

Dear Princess Luna

Do you have a special somepony?

Sincerely, Griffin and Gilda

Ps: Yes, we're together now.

I called him Geirmund Fraud instead of Freud. I did that on purpose.

Technology (57)

Technology

The sound of a bell ringing throughout the ship alerted all on board that it was time to get up. Maria would already be making breakfast. "The most important meal of the day, serving it up, Griffin's way." Gilda got up as well, and we headed up to the mess hall to get something to eat. Geirmund was there, with a maniac look in his eye.

'Ah crap, he stayed up all night inspecting the ship, didn't he?'

"Ah! Captain! So good to see you!" The steampunk pony called.

"Yeah. Breakfast."

"When you claimed to live on board ze finest piece of craftsmanship 'zis side of ze multiverse' you weren't exaggerating! Also.... I was wondering, what did you mean by multiverse?" And here it comes.

"Well, there are limitless universes. According to Murphey's law, if it's possible, it will at one point occur, and so, it is reasonable to believe that for every decision made, as well as for any works of fiction, a universe exists containing said....."

"I know what ze theory is. I want to know what you MEANT by it." He interrupted.

"Oh that. Imma alien."

"Pardon? Could you repeat zat? I believe you just claimed to be an..." He said while poking in his ears.

"Alien. That is correct. I'm actually from this planet, but another universe's version of it."

"How did you cross over? There is an impossible to break boundary between ze realms."

"Beats me, although it happened on the same day Discord busted out."

"Ah, well, zat explains it then. It also proves that you are undoubtedly INSANE. Multiple personality disorder perhaps? I don't know, mein brother Sigmund was ze psychologist."

"Geirmund, one day, I'll show you something unbelievable. And on that day, you'll eat your words, followed by choking on them."

"Ha! Zat I would like to see!"

"Well Freud, I've answered your question, mind answering a few of mine?"

"Well, I don't see why not."

"One, you have a horn, as well as wings. But, both are smaller than they should be. I can see you have the base of wings under the metal. What's up with that?"

"Ah, I was wondering when you might ask. When I was a child, most who did not know me bowed, believing me to me royalty of some kind. No. Zat is not ze case. I am a winged unicorn, or, perhaps a horned pegasus. I have both traits, but can use neither. I cannot fly without ze metal wings, und I cannot use magic without ze amplifyer. I have not earth pony strength, unicorn magic, nor pegasus flight und weather control. I was deemed useless, unable to function properly in society without any of these traits. Mein parents coddled me, to the point zat any whim of mein would be met, und they allowed me anything I wished. Some say it spoiled me... maybe, but in time, my desire to fit in brought me to machines. I built wings to let me fly, und an amplifier so zat I may at least use basic levitation spells."

"I see. Then, we are more alike then we believed, except, you had the fortune of having those who cared for you. I took care of myself."

"Is there anything else you wish to ask?"

"At your workshop, you spoke of your 'Beloved'. What were you talking about?" His eyes shot wide.

"There will be another time to speak of zat. Now it is time to begin the challenge. I look forward to my new fortune." He said hurriedly, trying to avoid the topic. And then he walked out.

"He's hiding something. I want to know what. Nadene, take Maria and go back to his shop. Figure out what he's keeping from us about his 'Beloved'. Frauline Furnace may or may not be there. If she is, it would probably be best to avoid her, although she has been forthcoming with us, so if you don't have any other options, ask her up front."

"Got it." And then the bipedal cat found her ride, and flew out over the city.

"Alright you two. You are well enough acquainted with the facilities, and you have taken the measurements of Trixie's leg. You have three hours. Bow, shake, then head to your stations. Trixie and I will be leaving, so that we cannot tell who built what, by a reasonable degree anyways." The pair bowed to each other, then the minotaur held out his hand, and surprisingly, a metal arm with three small pincers sprouted from Geirmund's chassis in order to meet it.

"And, begin!" Both contestants started working, Steelhorn hammering, two small welding torch popping up from each of Freud's wings to seal joints held by a set no less than six of the previous little arms deftly manipulated the small pieces. Trixie went to her room to practice her magic. I walked away and Gilda followed.

"So, what do we do while we wait?" She asked.

"Well, pretty much everybody is either watching the show in the engineering room, or is in the town getting supplies. The entire dormitory area is empty, except for Trixie who is on the other side of the ship." I gave her a lecherous grin.

"Oh you." She elbowed me, making me stop on the spot.

"Well? Come on! Don't leave me hanging, or I might just have to interrupt Trixie's training session." She winked and turned, then flicked her tail in my face and leapt down the stairs.

"Feisty."

Both of us stretching and groaning, our joints popping, (she had long since gotten over it and started doing it too) we gave each other a bit of a nuzzle then got out of bed.

"Well, by the clock, we've got another half hour left."

"I'm hungry, want to make me a sandwich?" She asked. We just did it, and now she's telling me to go to the kitchen to make a sandwich. I almost miss memebase. Almost.

"Sure, but you might as well come with. No point in sticking around here." We walked side by side through the bowels of the ship before reaching the mess hall, where we went to go make ourselves something.

"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix."

We ate slowly, which took up about twenty minutes, so it was time for us to head up to the deck, and wait for the two engineers to bring out their creations. I put on my gear then went up. We sat in lounge chairs, alongside Trixie, Etch, Growl, and a few others who were waiting. Nadene and Maria were there, and they just winked at me.

'How the hell am I supposed to know what that means? Did they hear us below decks, did their job go well? I'm not a telepath!'

The minotaur and mecha-pony walked up the set of stairs, two carts behind them being lifted by a pair of cats each. There were white cloths draped over them, hiding the objects under them.

"You two, no doubt you have worked very hard these past three hours, but it's time for your work to be put to the test. Trixie, come forward." The pair of competitors walked up.

"Now, no doubt you've both examined her existing fitting extensively, and set your designs to interact with it properly?" They both gave a nod and a huff.

"Well then, let's get this started. Eeny meeny mino mo, catch a griffin by the toe, if he hollers, don't let go or he'll cut your head off. That one." The cart on the left was brought forward, and out of it came a shining steel limb. It was attached to Trixie's stump easily enough with a slight click, she moved it around a bit, put weight on it, then trotted around a bit.

"Well?"

"Feels good."

"Alright, hop on." I lowered myself for the unicorn to get on, and she strapped her back legs in. Now then, um, how do we use this thing anyways?" One of the cats came forward, then handed us a set of instructions that had been hastily made.

"Right, so, channel your magic through it." She did as instructed, and four panels on the side folded out, which began to glow a hazy blue, same colour as her horn. Soon, the glow spread between the prongs and there was a bluish diamond shield on her leg.

"Right, and the weapon.... ah, ammunition cartridges?" I saw that there was already one loaded in it, and several more were on the table next to where it had been sitting.

"Okay, so, try and roll your hoof." She did so, and the entire unit rotated, instead of just the end. I noticed there were numbers on the inside of each. An empty glass vial shot out of a hole in the end and shattered on the deck of the ship.

"Okay then, so, it fires vials through an iris that closes when it's not in use. Four panels, a different ammo type in each, yes, I can see it. A small shield, powered by magic, and a spring loaded firing mechanism that works with the natural movement of the hoof." Clearly Steelhorn's work. I flew around for a bit while she popped off harmless shots at the ship and crew, testing for accuracy. We landed, and cat thrust his spear at it. It didn't bounce of, but was redirected upwards, out of striking range. Strike after strike, all went high and to the left, regardless of how the shield was rotated. It wouldn't do to have her block strikes only for them to hit me in the face or back.

"Alright, pretty good, next?" I landed and let her off. She stopped channeling, it folded back up nicely, and a cat placed it back on it's table. The second piece.... it was.... well, pretty big. It wasn't just a leg. It went all the way up to the shoulder, and connected to a steel chest plate. It looked just as sleek as Steelhorn's. Geirmund had obviously pulled out all the stops. His own stuff had exposed parts, but none of that was present on this piece.

"Alright, let's put it on." We had to remove Trixie's dragon armor to put it on, but once we did, it was a little loose.

"Alright, now walk around a bit." She began to, then screamed in pain. We moved to take it off.

"No, wait. This is supposed to happen, just wait a moment." Geirmund stated. The armor coiled itself, shrank slightly to fit her form, then let out a hiss. She stopped crying, and just looked at it in wonder.

"I.... I.... I can feel it." She tapped her fake left hoof with her right.

"I can feel it!"

"Zat is because of ze gem. I studied the form of the ghastly apparatus they called a fitting, und decided to completely bypass it. Ze armor performs a slight surgery when you put it on, locating your nerves and attaching them to a gem inside of the device, which then interprets ze signals and sends them to the micro motors. That is the pain you felt. The armor is merely to support und unsure it doesn't move while you have it on. It is controlled entirely by thought as natural as moving . It also interprets contact to allow responses, with pain being present but brought to a minimum. It can be worn at all times. It draws on your innate magic, meaning you do not need to channel it at all. It is an improvement to my own design." I walked up to the doctor and poked him on his metal wing.

"You mean you can feel this?" I touched it over and over again.

"Yes, now STOP POKING ME!" He pulled his wing back. Trixie began running around in circles excitedly, laughing.

"Okay okay, settle down Trix. Get on my back." I let her on again, and once we were ready, she asked the all important question.

"So, how does it work?"

"Just know what you want to do. Attack, defend."

"Um, okay." She pointed her hoof forward, and large shield came out. You know toy lightsabers, how they have the various parts that fit inside one another? Like that, but flat. It was curved at the bottom to coincide with the natural shape of my body, and could rest on my armor behind the wing bone, pressed against my side, without impeding my movement. In the same manner as the shield folded out, a long, thin blade came from her hoof. It was a shield and lance, rolled into one, except the lance was flattened into a horizontal blade, so it could do sweeping attacks. It extended about a meter and a half in front of me. This also meant that if she swung it to the side, the shield would come in contact with me if it was pointed too low, so it was impossible to cut me. We flew around for a bit, letting her get used to it. Talking with Trixie while we were out there, we both could tell we had a clear winner.

"Well?" The two competitors asked.

"This one. The other had merits, but the shield was a deflector, not a blocker, and she already has her explosion bubble spell for deflecting. This has impressive melee capabilities, and while the other has the advantage of range, it needs her to focus on it. With this one, that isn't required, so she's free to levitate the vials instead of needing to shoot them, as well as cast other spells, and this one doesn't put a constant drain on her when used." I explained.

"Both were excellent pieces of work, but this one is the winner. It efficiently rolls both offense and defense together, without any concentration needed, and has the added bonus of letting me feel things again. It was kind of strange, bringing out the shield and lance, it felt like my arm was being reformed, but it didn't hurt." Steelhorn seemed a bit down, while Geirmund jumped for joy, his wings opening up and letting small fireworks launch from them, which exploded around him in a shower of multicoloured sparks.

"Ha! I am ze winner!" He chided.

"I hafta admit, yoo beat meh. I jus din't know enuf about makin fake legs and how ta control them to make one properly."

"Well, I am ze finest surgeon in Equestria, even if I lost my medical license."

"And now I owe a certain Geirmund Freud a ridiculous sum of bits. Well, I suppose we can call it payment for the new limb. Extremely overpriced, but, I did promise her I'd spare no expense, even if I was drunk at the time." I watched Nadene sneak off. I wonder where she's going?

"Ah, yes, my winnings from this wager. I give you until nightfall to deliver it to my workshop. Well? Get to work!"

"Father!" Furnace called excitedly as she came up from within the ship.

"Frauline? What are you doing here? Come to see your father win? I told you I am a genius, not an eccentric, and now we have a million bits. We can get your mother proper medical care and..... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? You should be home with Cable!" He was suddenly fuming.

"Father, I have for you a pleasant surprise." And a pure white, lime maned unicorn with a bronze right rear leg and a pulley for a cutie mark came out onto the top deck, leaning on Nadene who held her up gently. It looked like Rarity dyed her mane green, let it grow out, and had it in a mix between Twilight and Rainbow Dash's styles. Long and straight, but scruffy.

"Cable...... are you? You are.... awake.... und walking? But I..... how? I....." She put her hoof to his lips.

"Not now darling." And then she embraced him. A tear fell down his cheek as he wrapped his front hooves around her, sobbing in both misery and joy, soaking her mane.

"But how? Why are you out of your stasis?"

"Simple." She pointed to Nadene, who had a shy smile on her face.

"This darling cat is a skilled apothecary. She found a way to treat my disease."

"She has a degenerative nerve disorder. I've only seen one other case like this, back home. The sacred grove has a very rare herb which not only prevents, but can actually reverse nerve damage. I found out from Furnace what her disease was, and that there was no treatment or cure in Equestria. She was in that stasis chamber for six years, and Freud spent every bit he had trying to get medical help for her, but, they were too poor to afford the expensive care she would need, which had an almost nonexistent chance of working. I came back, whipped up a potion, took her out of being frozen, gave her a few doses, and she recovered almost immediately. She's not back to normal just yet, but, given enough time and doses, she should recover fully. It's really no big deal." At which point Geirmund tackled the cat in a hug, much the same way Nadene herself scooped up Fluttershy, except that Freud was smaller.

"I can never thank you enough. You have given my wife her life back. She was.... always in pain. The nerve degradation.... and then she fell asleep, and never woke up, but always twisted and turned and screamed while she slumbered." The cat just awkwardly pet the robo-pony on the top of his head.

"Now then, Geirmund, I believe there is the matter of the fee for our services? A mere.... one million bits should suffice." Furnace and Cable looked horrified, but Freud looked amused.

"A small price to pay."

"But father, how can we afford....."

"You forget, by winning this wager, I earned myself exactly that amount. Now, we don't owe each other anything."

"Then, it has already been paid?"

"Yes, we are free to live our lives once again. We can go wherever we wish, and make our wonderful machines to help those who need it." The father, mother, and daughter all smiled at one another. Nadene coughed and interrupted them.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is a problem with that. As I said once before, the only place I know of that the herb grows in is the sacred grove, in my homeland. She'll need a monthly dose in order to maintain herself."

"Well, then simply prepare the medication for us."

"It's not that simple. While the herb keeps almost indefinitely when it's whole, once ground and mixed into a potion, it is only good for a week, and if prepared improperly, it is poisonous."

"I do not understand...." Furnace stated.

"Basically, either I have to gather an incredibly large amount of it and simultaneously discover the reason behind why it grows so well in the sacred grove, something my people have been trying to figure out for generations, followed by me staying here in Bitsburg so I can make the potions properly, or....."

"Or?"

"Or, if she wants to continue to live, unless she goes back into stasis, I'm afraid Cable will have to come with us."

Well, here's my crappy paintshop drawing of what the shield and lance look like.

And here's some art by izcheezyponeh which he admits looks terrible.

The Part Where More Stuff Happens (58)

The Part Where More Stuff Happens

"So zen, to live free, my Cable must go with you?" Freud had a look of shock on his face.

"Either that, or move to my village close to the source." Nadene replied.

"Father, what of the workshop, what of our business?" Furnace asked.

"Bah! You are ze first customers I've had in two months, and ze only reason I kept that place running was because I could not move Cable while she was in stasis. If we must go, then we go." The steel pony returned.

"On another note, I believe it would behoof us to make our exodus promptly, as the local law enforcement appears to have taken an interest in our activities." I added. Behoof? HA! I can make ze lame pony puns too!

"What?" They turned to look at each other, then ducked and put their hooves over their heads as an extremely loud voice screeched close by.

"Geirmund Freud! You are hereby under arrest for breach of parole, possession of deadly weapons, destruction of public property, and endangerment of civilian life!" A guard shouted through a megaphone. The three ponies huddled together in the middle of the deck, not wanting to be separated after so recently being reunited. At this point, I wasn't really sure what to do about it. My knowledge of Equestrian law isn't so good, so I'm not really sure what I can do.

"Ah stoof it ya blowhard!" Steelhorn surprisingly spoke up, hefting his ridiculously oversized blacksmith's hammer over his shoulder. The guards seemed a little fazed by this, but nevertheless held true, although they did lower the megaphone.

"Do not resist. Come quietly, and we ensure that no harm will come to you." The leader spoke.

"Can't you see you're interrupting a happy reunion? His wife's been in stasis for the past six years and she's finally being treated for her incurable disease? That, and he already belongs to me." I thought of a quick plan. Time to bluff my ass off.

"What?" The guard asked. I let out a huff and spoke nonsense.

"According to article C, subsection A, part D, paragraph 2, of the newly amended accord between myself and princess Celestia, ahem, Due to his service in the defense of Equestria from the changeling attack, the rescue of one Princess Luna from overwhelming numbers of hostiles, the medical treatment of one Princess Luna, engaging in combat with one Queen Chrysalis, weakening the leader of the invasion to the point that standard Equestrian forces could repel the attack, as well as several, classified, personal favours for Equestrian royalty, I, Princess Celestia hereby authorize one Captain Griffin of the North Sky, of the Griffin pirates and chief of the White Wind tribe, kin of the Silent Wolf, Dragonbane, Hate-Seed, and Smooth Criminal, access to any and all Equestrian resources he deems necessary in his continued campaign to bring harmony to the northern provinces."

Absolute bullshit. We never signed anything, much less went into detail. All she said was, 'If there's anything you need, just ask.' I added 'Hate Seed' to my honourifics, since that's how I kicked the changeling queen's flank. It also makes me sound more impressive. So, I pulled rank on them. I love my job.

The guards, on the other hand, seemed rather intimidated, if not for the fact that I just spoke of something they clearly had never heard of, something extremely important, but I'm also the famed dragon killer.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" The lead guard asked.

"Well, forgive me if I'm mistaken, but since Geirmund Freud is under arrest, his rights and freedoms are revoked, and he becomes property of the monarchy, correct?"

"Yes, your point?"

"Since he is now an Equestrian resource, and I have been allowed full access to said resources, and he is not only a skilled mechanist, but a talented surgeon, which my crew is in desperate need of, he thereby falls under that description. Ergo, the moment you placed him under arrest, he belonged to me. As does everything he owns, which includes his workshop and anything you may have confiscated from it. Have everything delivered here within 48 hours, or you will be found in violation of Equestrian law. For the duration of his sentence, Geirmund Freud belongs to me." I watched a legal drama a couple times. Basically, say things so complicated that they don't question it.

"But he hasn't even had a trial yet!" On of the younger guards said.

"I plead guilty, may I go now?" The doctor replied enthusiastically with a maniac grin, not missing a beat. Sweet Celestia, he's so in tune with me it's scary. They seemed to think for a moment before they burst out laughing.

"That's a good one, for a moment I thought you were serious! Just because you've been pardoned doesn't mean you get free reign around here. There's no way you have that level of pull with Equestrian royalty." At which point, I pulled out the photo of Celestia, Luna, and myself, showing it to them with the biggest smile on my face. Pinkie Pie would be envious.

"That still doesn't mean...."

"Do I need to write her a letter, so you can get it from Celly herself?" Add to the tension by speaking of their boss informally. I pulled a quill and parchment from my bag. They gulped. The leader grumbled.

"Fine. 48 hours, but then I want you out of this city."

"Done." The guards flew off, presumably to other business, and Geirmund's family just looked at me, shocked.

"What?"

"You never told us of your connection to the princesses......." Freud said.

"And Blueblood, we pulled his flank from the fire once, oh, and Cadence, we stopped the changelings from crashing her wedding by crashing it ourselves, although I don't think she likes me very much. But yeah, I'm basically a badass who get's to rub elbows with all the big wigs, you jealous?" And there's the troll face.

"I knew about it from the papers, well, that you were there at least, but not your role. I didn't think it got to the point that you had actually signed an agreement with her." Furnace added.

"Well, all the things I claimed to do, I really did, however, the whole agreement was verbal. There is no accord. Basically, I LIED. Now let's hurry up, fly this thing to your workshop, get everything on board, and bail before they figure out that I threw them for a loop. Man, having ins with royalty is like having an easy button for everything. 'Hey! You can't do that!' 'It's okay, I'm the Thane of Whiterun!' And then I can get away with anything." Everyone just looked at me, not getting the reference.

"So, then, we're joining them after all?" Furnace asked.

"Well, seeing as how they have ze treatment for Cable, a need for mein expertise, und if I don't go with them, I go to jail, I think it is fairly obvious at this point. Once again, things work out ze way you want them to....." He gave me an almost scowl, like he wasn't happy with something, but it's better this than nothing. I used my wings to stay up and lifted my arms into the air, giving a shrug.

"Griffin always gets what he wants. Now let's get this show on the road. I am particularly liking the look of that minigun you had drop down from the ceiling."

Withing six hours, we had already loaded everything from his workshop onto the ship, save the building itself. We basically gutted it and bailed. Out of the city before they could even confirm what I had said to be false. Knowing Celestia though, she'd probably just back me up anyway. On our way north now. Back to Ruby Hollow to check and see if they're ready to give in yet.

"Well ya dang pirate, I finished em. Took me a while, but with Geirmund, Cable, and Furnace helping, it went pretty quickly compared to if I was doing it meself."

"Don't forget me!" Shimmer piped up. She had grown somewhat in the time we had her with us, at was beginning to look a little like a teenage dragon, a slight bit larger than a full grown pony if she was on all fours. She wouldn't fit in Gilda's pack anymore, so we had her and Gilda fitted for a harness of their own.

"Of course not, after all, you're my number one assistant."

"What did you finish exactly? There's a lot of projects going on, you have to be specific." I asked.

"Oh, right, well, I refitted Trixie's scale armor to fit over her new limb mount, (the chestplate) and I made twenty more laser rifles, one for each of the griffins. They all have much better eyesight, and could probably use something like that, since their riders are the ones fighting close range. Also, do ya want me to make a replacement for the one you two broke?" In response, Trixie brought out six of her explosion balls and whirled them around. It looked like I had a bunch of fairies or sprites or something protecting me.

"Ill take that as a no then." He seemed a little let down.

"No offense Steelhorn, but, using the gun just takes up too much concentration. I should focus more on using my natural spells instead of the gun, you know, more diverse purpose." The blue unicorn replied.

"Yeah, I get it." He appeared dejected. Well yeah, I would too. His gun is what got her leg cut off, and he couldn't even replace it properly. He's probably feeling crappy.

"Chin up Steel, if anything, your job just became easier. With you and the Freud family, I'm sure you can cook up something fantastic." He seemed to perk up at the idea of making something legendary, and headed back in after passing the rifles out to the griffin marksmen.

"So, unlike bows and arrows, lasers travel straight. Point and shoot. It goes straight, and doesn't fall off due to gravity, and doesn't have recoil. Keep both eyes open, lift it so it's by your right or left eye, depending on preference, look down the top, past the end, and whatever is there is what you'll hit. It's time for target practice. Everyone, mount up. We're gonna practice with our partners on our backs. Here's the deal, Trixie and I will fly, and release a number of these glowing yellow balls, your goal is to pop them by shooting them. Got it?" She created one of her explosion balls to serve as an example, and we had Nadene shoot it to demonstrate.

"Alright, form up, in a nice chaotic jumble, and fifteen seconds after we're out there, Trixie will put up the first ball. Then you all fly after it, and try to shoot it down. Part of fighting is seeing through the chaos in the field, and we're preparing for nothing less than a war. So, get ready." At which point I leaped and did a back flip off the ship, heading under it and out the other side, where the crew was not expecting me to go. They looked around for a moment before spotting me, already a fair bit away from the ship, the first ball up in the air. I laughed as they all scrambled to take off, trying not to clip each others wings, several of them falling and having to flap hard to regain altitude. Eventually, they began flying in formation, aiming for the ball. I instructed Trixie to move it around randomly, but always keep it a certain distance from us so we wouldn't get hit, and at the same time, I'd pull some arial stunts. Ever play that Nintendo Wii game where each plane has some balloons behind it, and the goal is to shoot the other person's balloons? Kind of like that, except I'm the only target.

"Trixie, call em as you see em, I'll try to evade as best I can." I drew my sword with intent to deflect and stray lasers, hoping they would be good enough shots that I wouldn't have to. They slowly drew nearer, and then their shots came. Trixie moved the target, making them miss. Then, I began doing corkscrews, went into a nosedive, then pulled up and arced over their heads. The shots missing the ball each time as they fell short.

"Sonor. AIM AHEAD OF THE TARGET! DON'T AIM WHERE IT IS, AIM WHERE IT'S GOING!" I called as I dove through the group, Trixie bringing out a second ball and bopping one of them on the head with it. She fell, but with a forceful shift of weight by her rider to tip her back upright, she regained herself and began chasing us again. The shots were getting more accurate now, and I started batting them away if they got close. Trixie and I were laughing though. We hadn't had this much fun in a long time. She brought out her shield, and started knocking shots away as well, or trying to run them through with the tip of her lance. Trying to skewer a laser would give her plenty of practice using it. She wasn't very good, but, that's to be expected using a weapon you've never seen before, and trying to perform a task that was proverbially, 'catching flies with chopsticks'.

About an hour in, the chase was still on to pop this stupid ball, and finally, one of them stopped chasing and hung back. I wondered what they were doing, noticing it to be the same one we had hit on the head. Trixie brought the ball low, and to my surprise, that girl griffin shot at my sword instead of the ball, bouncing her shot off it and into the ball. It popped. The whole group flew back to the ship, the successful shooter flying next to me.

"Tell me, what is your name?" I asked.

"R, River sir." She stuttered slightly. I then realized I was scowling. She probably thought I was mad at her or something, so instead I put on a dorky grin.

"Well River sir, that's quite an odd name....."

"River is fine...." She smiled awkwardly at my joke.

"River, that was some good aim. What gave you the idea?"

"Well, I just, saw the reflection of the ball on your sword. Nobody was paying attention to that, with their attention focused on the ball itself, I just thought I'd try it, and I guess it worked out. It was Raoul's idea." She replied sheepishly, motioning to her rider.

"Well, that was some damn fine shooting. You two get the day off to relax or whatever. Rest of you, training's done for the day, back to work." The two of them smiled and went down to their quarters. I was a little interested, so I followed them. Unseen, they both went into the same room, and I started hearing noises. The same noises Gilda and I make, although with considerably more growling.

'Well, I figure if they work closely for long enough, they'll have a relationship, and while on board, I'm pretty sure romance will start to bloom between crew members. It's only natural. So what if they're different species? I'm not exactly a griffin myself, and Gilda and I get along fine.... oh! I almost forgot, I gotta knock Geirmund's socks off, not that he wears any. I wonder if Celestia does? Well, I know my letter now. I'll show him after we reach Ruby Hollow.'

Another week and we were there, had some good winds. What I saw, well, it wasn't too good. The sturdy architecture? Trashed. The fresh earth and grass of the valley? Scorched. There were bones laying about on the surface. If there weren't any, I wouldn't have known there ever was a settlement here.

"Dragon took it, judging by the claw marks, only one, and it was a small one at that. Teenager maybe, but packs a wallop. It went right in their den and burned em out, then killed the ones who escaped to the surface. Didn't eat them though, which means it wasn't hungry, it was pissed off. Revenge maybe? What the hell did they do to make it so angry? It's not like they refused to feed it, if they did, it would have eaten the bodies."

"Perhaps the fight started within?" Growl offered.

"Would have had to, if the attack came from the outside, they would have holed up in the den, and instead of escaping to the surface, would have gone deeper in. There wouldn't be any dead bodies out here, they'd be piled up at the deepest level. No, it started down there and burned it's way up, forcing them out as it went. But the only reason a dragon would be so deep in is if...." Etch trailed off.

"They tried to take it as a slave. It got mad, and slaughtered the whole lot of them." I finished. "Well, I guess they got what was coming to them. Burn marks are old, ground is cool, it's long gone. Let's see if we can salvage anything. Damn it. I was hoping they'd change their minds, looks like they didn't get the chance."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Have you ever worn socks? If not, you should. They're fuzzy and will keep you warm in the winter.

Sincerely, The Silver Tongued Devil, Griffin.

Ps: Hope you're not mad about me taking Geirmund. He's fine with it, and we really needed a surgeon, considering past events. Also, hope you're not mad about the bar tab. We kinda forgot to pay, although we did give them a free show. Hey, what do you expect? We're pirates. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, which, incidentally, is ALWAYS gone.

With that, I sent the letter, and, I wrote another one.

Dear Spike,

Please give this to the seafoam green unicorn with the lyre cutie mark.

Thanks. Sorry for using you to forward my mail. Have a sapphire.

Sincerely, Griffin the pirate.

Ps: Shimmer wants to meet you.

I took a small blue gem, and enclosed it in the scroll, before writing a second one letter, and putting it inside as well.

Dear Heartstrings, (or Lyra, if you prefer)

................... Humans.

Sincerely, one of them.

Ps: Please tell me I got the right unicorn. If not, this is gonna be way awkward.

"Submitto ad Spike." And it went on it's way.

"Alright, time to play freak out the doctor."

And some art by TheXIIILightning. Not too shabby.

And, in case you all didn't know, there's another story taking place in our universe. Me and Rust got a request a while back from the author, and we okayed her to go ahead and write it. So, here's the link. Clickity click it and go read. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on. You're still reading this? Click me!

Also, someone needs to make art of Griffin, Celestia, and Luna, in the garden in front of Discord, with the sword in the ground, giving the camera the peace sign. I can't send a letter to Pip until you do.

It's A Human Thing (59)

It's A Human Thing

"Eerrrrmmm, let's see..... no gems, dragon took them, plenty of charred bones, which we have no use for, all their stuff is dented, slashed, or burned, so we could use it for scrap and melt it down..... well, that didn't pay off too well." We tried to salvage what we could, but there wasn't much. The dragon that torched the place destroyed just about everything, and took anything of value that survived. It's clear they were caught off guard. Still, we got some scrap metal for the Freuds to use. Incidentally, they had finished setting up their workshop in a large vacant area adjacent to Steelhorn's forge. Having so many empty spots was a kind of realization for me. We were basically running on a skeleton crew. We needed to expand our numbers. Big time, right about triple. That meant hitting a big target.

"Masonry." Etch and Growl replied in unison.

"It's big. They have LOTS of slaves, gems, airships, gear, everything. It's heavily defended against dragon attack, so, while we may have a problem assaulting it, at least they don't have scaly backup. The fact that they have many slaves, many diamond dogs from other packs, means that when we attack, we can expect help from inside. The mines are below, but the city itself is above ground. They carved out a mountain, and over the years dug the top of it right off, so now the city sits on top. I suggest, instead of assaulting the city itself, raiding it's trade ships." Etch explained. Surprising, he's actually a pretty good strategist when it comes to his own kind.

"Sounds good. Cut off their supply, draw them out into open conflict instead of attrition. Basically, ACTUAL piracy. About time we lived up to the namesake. Maybe get a few extra airships which we can send to the settlement to serve as trade vessels. We're building an entire culture here, and what better than maritime, considering we're griffins? I like it. How do you know so much about this place?"

His eyes shifted side to side.... then he looked down, as if he was ashamed to say it, then finally, resolved to tell me. He looked me straight in the eye.

"They are our old enemies. We were coming up with ways to fight them for years. We lost. This is where we were taken as slaves. This is where my wife and pup are." I can see why he didn't want to tell me about that.

"So, basically, you didn't really want to tell me that fact because you thought I'd think you were just trying to save your family?" He nodded and whimpered.

"Hey, just cuz I didn't have a family before you guys doesn't mean I don't know how important it is. You miss them. You want to be able to see them again, to hold them in your arms. So, you have your own reason for doing this, it fits my motives, we both benefit. That's the whole point. We're all in this for one reason or another. From the way you spoke of them, I knew you were in this crew to save your family. Gilda's here to find hers. We're all in this for ourselves, and are working together because it gets us what we all want." His tail wagged as I pat him on the back in a man-hug.

"It's just, if I see them again, if they're safe. I can't guarantee I'll stay with the crew. All I've ever wanted was to be with them again, and have a normal life. Once I have them back, I don't think I'd be able to risk losing them again."

"Hey, we'll deal with that when we get there. After all, the point is, anyone here can leave whenever they want. We're a crew, a family, and we always will be, and sometimes, families split up, they move away, go off on their own. As long as they do it on good terms, then that's fine. Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised. You're here to get your family back, and once you do, not only will you not have a reason to stay on board, but you'll have almost eight years of catching up to do. If you decide to go, then you do. It's your choice, I won't stop you. Just know that, when it happens, you'll always be welcome on my ship."

"MAH Ship." Steelhorn bellowed in correction.

"Can't you see we're having a moment?!" I shot the minotaur a nasty glare, causing him to back down. He sheepishly dug his hoof into the ground, before absentmindedly polishing his horn. That's right, I can scare a full grown minotaur.

"Anyway, no matter what, you're one of us. If you go, write us once in a while kay? You'll have plenty of new tricks to teach those old dogs. My guess is you'll be pretty popular. Maybe hold some influence? Who knows. I hope you stay with us, I really do, but if you go, then you go, and we'll be thinking of you. Now, dry your eyes, it's time to man up. We have some plundering to do."

"Here we are. Masonry, right there, the mountain on the horizon. Ships coming to and from just about nonstop, trading with the other packs, Equestria itself, delivering slaves. We'll start little, hit some of the smaller ships. Once we figure out a good method of doing so, we'll move on the the larger ones. So, how do you think we should start? I want to raid them without them even knowing we were there until it's too late."

"Well, We're griffins." Gilda pointed out. "Can't we just cut a hole in the bottom of the ship, flood in from underneath, then fight our way onto the deck and take it that way?" They won't see us if we use the clouds for cover, and the last thing they'll expect is an attack from inside their own ship. We can fly, they can't. That'll be our advantage."

"Good thinking. I like it, but I think I can one up. The griffins bring their riders in, let them fight their way up from inside, while we attack the outside. Catch em in a pincer attack. They'll be boxed in and have nowhere to go. And they can't dig their way out of it either, since we're a mile up. Heck, the griffins can just throw them off the ship if they feel like it. Just make sure you don't shoot the ship itself. We want to use it later."

We hid the Possibility inside a cloud mass, then slowly drifted over the city, completely hidden. Using our incredible griffin vision, we spotted a group of three smaller ships all heading in the same direction. A transport and two smaller guard ships flanking it. None very well armed, so they probably didn't have very valuable cargo. That's alright. We wanted the ships. Anything else is just bonus. They looked kind of like blimps you might find at a sports event, except that they were made with wrought iron banding for the keel, supports, and balloon braces, and the drive shafts, and wood for the vessel itself and propeller spokes, with the same balloon cloth for the fins and propeller. It had a nice rustic stain on it, although was by no means classy. It was a working ship. The other two were the same, except had cannon ports.

"Alright. Three teams. Griffin and cat riders, split into two groups of ten. Group one, take the left flanker. Group two, take the right one. Approach from the outside so the other ship doesn't spot you cutting a hole in their hull. My team will take the transport. When you take a ship, rip the flag off it so we know. Ready to move out?"

"Yeaaaaah!"

"Alright. Let's do this."

The plan, well, it failed miserably. The timing was off. By a lot. The second team took their ship way before the first team, and the first ship noticed a griffin taking the flag off it's sister. They set off an alarm, the escort turned to engage, started shooting at the ship with my crew on it, and Tiras had to shoot it down. It crashed into the mountain. Most got out okay before it hit, as it fell pretty slowly, a few got minor burns from the flame, and one didn't get out in time before it crashed. We went to check and see if he was okay, but, when we got there...... it wasn't pretty. He had a mast where his head should have been. Rest in peace Tigger. His griffin, Reed, was crying afterwards. They had grown close, working alongside each other. He didn't take it too well that he lost his partner. This was the first death the crew had experienced. It wasn't in a titanic battle, it was in a simple raid gone wrong. What the hell? We fight an army of changelings and barely get hurt, but a measly little ship crashing kills one of us off. Sure, the cargo was better than we thought. A fair amount in gems, and we got the two other ships, but, losing one of our own really soured the mood.

"Damn. What happened?"

"We got careless is what." Trixie pointed out. "We didn't have any team communication. It took one team longer than the other to get through the hull, we should have a signal or something. A way of keeping in touch when in the field."

"I don't know what we can do about that, other than get some unicorns to pass messages around, except it can be bright or loud, that would just give us away." Gilda added.

"Gilda, you're a genius. Wait, Trixie, ponies don't have telephones or radios right?"

"No.... we send everything by mail, or, once in a while you get someone skilled in telepathy." She knew what telephones were, as I had explained a great deal of human technology to her. She likes listening to my rants.

"Well then, to Equestria! Although, how are we gonna convince them to join? We're an infamous band of pirates, I don't think they'll be too eager."

"Well, we could always do a performance or something." Trixie suggested.

"Of course. We go on tour. Do some shows to get public interest, then spread the message after each show. Get our names out there, get our point across. We've got the backing of the Equestrian government, now we need the ponies themselves. I mean, they're happy living their little lives, but I'm sure some of them are itching for adventure. We offer a life of excitement, getting to see the world, and then appeal to their good nature by telling them they'll be making a difference in the lives of those less fortunate. I'm sure we'll get some. We don't need many. Now.... what to do......"

Trixie, Gilda, Etch, Growl, Nadene, Maria, and the entire tribe, both cats and griffins, facepalmed.

"What? Did I say something weird?"

"I'm a walking light show, and you know a spell that lets you play fantastic music from your mind alone. Dumbass." Trixie smacked me upside the head.

"Sooooooo, rock concert?"

"DUH!"

Dear Princess Celestia,

Guess what? We're going on tour! For extremely complicated reasons which I won't bother explaining in this letter, we need unicorns. Volunteer only, we can't just go kidnapping can we................................... can we? No, I didn't think so. So, basically, we're going on tour around Equestria, we'll do some performances, get in the public eye, tell them about what we're doing. Hopefully we get some ponies to join up. They won't be fighting, just doing some on board stuff, like communication and organization, magic charges, stuff like that. It'll be fun! They'll be on a near indestructible ship, surrounded by burly tough guys sworn to protect them. It'll be like a working vacation. But yeah, we're coming, so set the table.

Do you like waffles, pancakes, and french toast?

Sincerely, Griffin.

Ps: All our songs will be pirated, but since I'm not on Earth any more, they can't sue me! *Evil laugh*

Also, we've had our first death...... it is a sad thing to experience. Poor Reed cried for days.

We cremated the cat, with the magic flame from my sword no less, then scattered his ashes in the ocean as a final send off. I kind of regret not knowing him better. Then again, I can't be best friends with every single one on board. I'm not Pinkie Pie. In fact, I'm generally unlikable. With the funeral finished, and the letter sent, I decided to pay the Freuds a visit. It's high time I freaked them out.

"Oh Gearzy, I have something to show you.........."

"Since he's been sending them more regularly, I figured I'd just hold onto them till we get an evening where we can read a bunch at the same time. He's been labeling them 'Urgent' if they're important, and one of them is, so, I guess we should read them, even though there's only two." Celestia sighed. She happened to like the quiet evenings with her sister, laughing at the antics of the famous pirate.

Dear Princess Luna

Do you have a special somepony?

Sincerely, Griffin and Gilda

Ps: Yes, we're together now.

"Alas, I do not. Immortals such as we are hard pressed to find one who we are enamored by, let alone is not simply trying to get close to us for influence. Even then, we know that they will pass long before we. It is lonely, living so long. At least I have a new pet. Noodles is just a darling."

"Well, I can't speak for your choice in pets sister. An anteater certainly is unorthodox, but at least it's not creepy. And it's still mortal. At least Philomina will never leave me."

"Caw!"

"Next letter...... oh my. They're going on tour? I'm not sure I approve of that...... I have no idea what his music is like.... I hope it's tasteful." Celestia cringed at the thought of the vulgar captain and crew singing in the various towns, especially after the performance at the bar. It was fine, their performance incited the ponies to drink far more than they should have, and the pub was busier and livelier than it had been in months. The sheer profits the bar made were more than enough for him to forgive the tab. It also became the talk of the town for a week afterwards. Taking Geirmund was another thing. She wasn't too fond of the fact that he lied to the guards, but, again, he's a pirate, and she did say she'd help him out in any way she could, so that was really just his way of bypassing the needing to ask her part. He knew she'd approve. The legal jargon he spilled was quite hilarious in it's own right, so she decided to play along.

"Sister, what does he mean by, 'Set the table?' It sounds like he's coming for dinner." Luna asked.

"It means he's telling us he'll be visiting Canterlot at some point. Despite being rowdy in a city of refinement, he's actually quite well liked. They're still singing 'Drink Till I Die.' in a number of the bars." Celestia explained.

"Canterlot has bars?" The younger sister asked, tilting her head. "As in, places they serve alcohol and greasy food? HERE?"

"Things have changed in the past thousand years. I keep forgetting that you missed most of it."

"Do I like waffles, pancakes, and french toast? Why, certainly. I know by now with the questions he sends by their style that this one is referencing something from his world. I really wish he'd tell me what."

"Oh, oh my. Well, that's rather somber. They lost one of their own....."

"Oh dear. Well, the fact that they are doing something dangerous, I'm actually surprised that it hasn't happened sooner, and at the same time, it doesn't make it any less painful. I know he treats them like the family he never had, my heart goes out to them, and Reed. It seems like he was especially close to whoever passed."

Dear Griffin Pirates,

Our most heartfelt condolences to you for your loss. I hope he finds peace in the afterlife.

Neither of us have a special somepony.

Gilda and Griffin, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Please keep the performance tasteful.

The bar tab was forgiven by the owner, and since trouble follows you wherever you go, perhaps Freud will get in trouble on YOUR ship instead of MY port. I'm glad you took him off our hooves. And cured his wife apparently? I'm quite happy about that.

Dear Spike,

Please give this to the seafoam green unicorn with the lyre cutie mark.

Thanks. Sorry for using you to forward my mail. Have a sapphire.

Sincerely, Griffin the pirate.

Ps: Shimmer wants to meet you.

"What am I? A mailbox? Uugh, now pirates are using me to send messages too. Although...... the sapphire... I am suddenly okay with this. Maybe I should write him a letter, Dear Griffin, send me more mail, (and gems).... Nah. I shouldn't be greedy, don't want a repeat of last time. Twilight, Who's Shimmer?"

"Oh, Spike, didn't you pay attention when I told you about our adventure? Shimmer is the dragon on board Griffin's ship. She's got blue scales that shine in the sun. She's a bit older than you, and I have to say, she's pretty cute." The unicorn replied. Spike blushed.

"And... she want to meet..... me?" He dug his toe into the ground.

"Yep. I think she might like you......" Just the thing he needs to get over Rarity. He was heart broken. At least they're still friends.

"Well well well, an older woman. Umm, I better go deliver this letter. Her place is just down the street right?"

"Yes, now go on you little rascal."

"Oh, hey Bon Bon, is Lyra in?"

"Yeah, it'll just be a minute..."

"Oh, no, that's okay, I'm just bringing a letter for her that I got."

"Did Derpy mess up again?"

"Well, It's a long story, just, give it to her okay?"

"Alright...."

"Letter for you, somehow Twilight got it."

"Ooh! Let me see!"

Dear Heartstrings, (or Lyra, if you prefer)

................... Humans.

Sincerely, one of them.

Ps: Please tell me I got the right unicorn. If not, this is gonna be way awkward.

Lyra swallowed hard. This had to be a joke right? Somepony playing a prank on her, messing with her obsession. Her eyes passed over each line in every letter, taking in all aspects of the note in front of her. Written too neatly to be done with hoof or mouth writing. Not rigid like magic writing, and not printed by a typewriter. No, this was written specially. She had seen things Spike had written before, and this looked like that, except done with more care. This note was not written by machine, nor by hoof, magic, or claw. This note was written....... by hand. It was real. What's more, the writer knew about her and that she had been researching them. The human knew her.

Every time she had been laughed at for believing in fairy tales, mocked for taking stories of human sightings seriously, they all flashed through her head, and all the times she had been called crazy, and started to believe it herself. She could laugh in the faces of everyone who had ever made fun of her obsessing over humans. But this wouldn't be enough. No, she wouldn't settle till she saw one, in the flesh. Right in front of her. She was sure if she could, the mysteries of the universe would unravel before her very eyes. Her pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks before opening all the way, her irises no longer visible. A smile grew on her face, ever wider, to the point that her head threatened to split in half. The excitement of such a thing was too much for a pony unused to adrenaline. Her eyes rolled up in her head, and she fainted on the spot, still wearing a smile.

Bon Bon sighed and put her in bed, not even wanting to know what happened to her roommate, considering all the weird things she was in to. That night, Lyra dreamed good dreams, dreams of the tall creatures that walked on two legs and had hands, and, most of all, she planned.

And JJ Malcom has done the impossible. Draw Hades correctly! SO HERE IT IS!

Manehatten (60)

Manehatten

"Oh Gearzy, I have something to show you...." I called in a sing-song manner.

"Yes Cable my love?" He replied.

"Wait, what? EEEEwwww no!"

"Tch. YOU. My beloved is ze ONLY one who may call me Gearzy. Surprisingly, your voices sound alike when you sing." He laughed as he scowled. Yep, response doesn't match expression, he's crazy.

"Are you saying my singing voice sounds like a girl?"

"Are you saying mein wife's singing voice sounds like a boy?"

"No?" Yes it does, I've heard her sing, and despite not making any sense, she's a tenor. Her normal voice is high, but when singing, she's a tenor. I mentally picture the ancient aliens guy holding his hands in front of him with the word 'ponies' down in front.

"Then yes."

"Damn. Well, anyway. Time to mess with your head. I'm an alien, from an alternate universe where the dominant species is highly evolved apes. We have incredible technology, including, but not limited to, telecommunications, electricity, radiation, mechanical supersonic flight, space travel, and the ability to blow our entire planet up. We've started building a colony on the moon, and we've mapped out a great deal of the brain. We've made machines that can think faster than we can, and have a massive library containing all the information in the world and we can access it all instantly from something the size of my hand. We have an absurd capacity for learning, and we waste it making mental garbage and killing each other. Forma versus."

"Ack, if you are going to lie, at least make ze lie believable. Such claims are outrageous. I really think you ought to have your head examined." He turned around to look at his machines, taking a sip from his tea cup, realized it was an oil can, then took his actual teacup to try and wash the taste out.

"And I really think YOU ought to have your EYES examined. Turn around."

"What, do you have some kind of proof of your clai-pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft." He promptly covered me in lukewarm tea and horse spit.

"Thanks Gear. I reeeeeeaaaallllyyyy appreciate that." I said sarcastically as I wiped my face with my hand, then flicked the gunk onto the floor. "Your first encounter with an advanced alien race, and you spit on them. Remind me to never make you an ambassador."

"B-b-b-b-b but..... what? Then...... ze......" Jaw dropped to the floor cartoonishly. Seriously, is dislocating your jaw a natural reflex for when a pony sees something they can't comprehend? He just gawked for a couple minutes before I snapped him back to reality by clearing my throat. Of course, after I dried myself off with a towel.

"Space travel! I cannot believe it! How is it done? You must tell me! I could be ze first pony in space!" Of all the things he got hooked on, it had to be the one thing I know very little about. It had to be space. SPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEEEE.

"I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Does every pegasus have an adeptness for building machines? Is every unicorn a skilled musician? Not only do I not know any of the specifics, other than they make a cone shaped thing, point it at the sky, and set off a continuous explosion powerful enough to cause earthquakes propelling it upwards, I know nothing about it. Even if I did, physics here are different. Reverti." Now, instead of the science, he's curious about the magic.

"How.... how did you do that? Does your kind know magic as well?" He asked, tilting his head. I forgot. We never told him we had Latin magic. He just figured we were using the method the airship runs on, the same way ovens and toasters in Equestria work, apparently.

"Nope. The human world has no magic. Everything we know about it, we got from a time when our world was connected to yours. I just figured it out while I was here. I am the first human in at least a thousand years to use magic. I figured it all out from my preexisting knowledge of an archaic language and this little amulet."

"Humans? I thought they were just fairy tales. Stories for little fillies and colts before they went to bed."

"And humans think unicorns, pegasi, dragons, griffins and the like are fairy tales for little boys and girls before they go to bed. Funny, ain't it? Anyway, you freaked out, so I win."

"Why did you change back already? Is it not liberating to be in your own form?"

"Heck no. Hmm, weaker, can't fly, poor eyesight, no natural weaponry, I've been a griffin for so long It feels more natural than being human, my body has scars all over it from being beat up, and has a distinct lack of coolness, radicalness, and awesomeness that I find disturbing. Yes, they are different things, just ask the world famous fastest flier in Equestria. Anyway, it's time to get ready."

"Okay, so, we're gonna head south, then go east and hit the colony for the naming ceremony, then back west to Equestria to continue, finally, we'll hit the jungle, grab more food and that herb, then make a beeline back north and do some more raids. First stop, Manehatten!"

We sent the two ships we 'liberated' with some of the tribe members ahead of us to the colony, so that they could be fixed up and refitted into fishing ships before we arrived. They'd have to build a dock, and then the lighthouse could go right above it. I got Steelhorn working on a second laser cannon/spotlight unit, that would be powered by unicorn magic, rather than a colossal and extremely rare gem that takes ten years to make. That was another reason. To open communication and set defenses for this colony, as well as future ones, we needed magic, and the low level magic capability of the non-unicorn species just wasn't enough.

Manehatten was primarily a pegasus and earth pony city. It had unicorns, to be sure, but the number was vastly lower than other locations. Canterlot, with it's unicorn excess, Ponyville, with it's even numbers between the three, Las Pegasus, with it's influx of tourism for a broad variety, and Gallopdin, a site of magical study, would be where we'd get most of our volunteers. Still, we needed somewhere to start, and everyone knows that when you're in Neigh York, if you have musical talent, you have to hit Trotway. My Little Punny, My Little Punny, everyday I've a joke to share........

"Well, here we are. How are we gonna get their attention?"

"Knock?" Trixie offered with a devious smile.

"Hold on, I can't just go blowing things up. Yes, it would be funny, yes, it would be awesome, but, it would be counterproductive to our goals." She huffed and pouted in reluctant acceptance.

'Wait, is Trixie a pyromaniac? Always setting off lights, fire, explosions... Not sure, I'll have to check on it.'

"What about ze statue of harmony?" Geirmund suggested.

"What about it?" I asked in turn.

"Every so often, during large events, they light the torch at the top. There's a large pyre up there, and they light it on fire during celebrations, like the one year they had the Summer Sun Celebration here. It's where Gearzy and I first met." Cable said with dreamy eyes before nuzzling up to him, her full strength restored from the treatment. He chuckled bashfully.

"So, we set it ablaze, and when everyone's attention is drawn to it, we make our move?"

"Ja" Furnace Freud replied.

"Alright. Let's move into position first. Tiras, get on the gun."

"Ah, madame, ze gem set in this ring is of the finest quality, imported straight from ze mines, and cut and polished by ze finest jewelers in Equestria." Pierre was having a slow day. Ever since the disaster of the royal wedding, not many ponies had been eager to get married, most mistrusting their partners as several ponies had been replaced by changelings and had been caught, many more lying in wait to suck up love. Everypony was being super cautious. As such, Pierre was desperate for a sale, which it seemed he wouldn't be getting as the mare walked out of the store without making a purchase.

"Euuugh, these are tough times. Best business I had was that damned griffin. Even if he gouged me, those gems are of a higher quality than what is found here. They simply just are. Princess Celestia put a huge limitation on imported gems recently, due to the fact that they were produced by slave labour getting out, so all the stones I get in here are crap. Might have to close down if I don't get any business soon."

'Pierre' was startled by sudden screams coming from the mare who just left his store, as well as several others out in the street.

"What is the meaning of this! I mean, of zis!"

"We're under attack!" Screamed an eggshell white mare with a red mane.

"They lit the Statue of Harmony's torch on fire!"

"Now they're shooting us with..... fireworks?"

"Good work Trixie, that'll get their attention. Now then, let's get into position in front of the statue and give them a show they'll never forget!"

"What is that? It's..... huge! It shines light a diamond, even at night!" Pierre asked, having lost all semblance of trying to keep up his facade.

"That's the Possibility, the Griffin Pirate's airship. Were they the ones who lit the torch? They're certainly the ones shooting all the fireworks. Does that mean it's a celebration? Of what? Did something happen?" A pale unicorn with two tone mane and hourglass cutie mark proclaimed. Many murmurs of rumor filled the streets as ponies came from their homes to watch the spectacle. Pegasi flew around to get a better look, and many ponies took up positions on their houses. Far more poured into an arena or stadium overlooked by the statue, trying to get a good look at the airship that was blocking the view of the statue. With the fire from the torch behind, and the opaque yet brilliant hull of the ship in front, it was like a mini solar eclipse. And then, a voice washed over the crowd.

"Once there was a city so uptight, there was just no room for fun. But that all changed.... on this one particular night.... when out of nowhere....... this ship showed up." I had Growl use his own singing voice, which was deep baritone and not gravely at all, to narrate. The plank on the side of the ship lowered and landed on a stage in front of the statue, overlooked by the semi-circle seats in stadium.

"And out stepped..... that.... griffin....." They all winced to see the dark shape stepping out of the gleaming airship. He was wearing some kind of strange rainbow clothing. Then, he was followed by another griffin, a unicorn, and two diamond dogs, all wearing the same getup. Finally, a blue dragon stepped out. On the deck of the ship, the crowd could see many more dark shapes, some tall, some short. The torch on the statue was put out, filling the stadium with darkness. Suddenly, the lights on the ship turned on, showing a number of griffins as well as..... cats? on board. One of them was on a fairly large machine, which shone a spotlight on the group on the stage, illuminating them in the dark. And then, a message written on the side of the ship became visible.

If you have any cameras or recording devices, you may want to take them out now, because you don't want to miss this. On cue, a hundred or so cameras, and some video cameras as well, appeared in the hooves of the ponies in the crowd, and some flying overhead as well.

"Musica a Memoria!"

The sound of an air horn repeatedly filled the air along with a catchy beat, the whole crew began head bobbing, which then gave way to the voice of the infamous captain of the Griffin pirates over the microphone which was part of the stage.

We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party

And then Gilda began to sing as well, while all the rest danced.

I've got something to tell ya
I've got news for you
Gonna put some wheels in motion
Get ready 'cause we're coming through
Hey now, hey now, hear what I say now
Happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, hear what I say now
We'll be there for you

At this point the ponies sitting in their seats jumped up from them, and began to dance as well. Several of the more snooty ponies tried to leave, knowing what this was about to become, but were dragged back into it by the other, overzealous ponies.

The Vengabus is coming
And everybody's jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body

And then the entire group on stage, as well as all the beings along the rail of the airship joined in, everyone singing both parts of the song, all the while engaged in dance. Cameras flashed, shouting and hollering were aplenty, and several spectators began to dance and sing as well.

We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party

Hey now, hey now, hear what I say now
Happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, hear what I say now
We'll be there for you

The Vengabus is coming
And everybody's jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body

And now all the ponies joined in. Of course, they changed words like 'New York' to 'Neigh York', but at the motion of everyone swinging their arms/forelegs up in the air and holding the mike towards the crowd, they really had no choice but to join it.

We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party

The Vengabus is coming, the Vengabus is coming
The Vengabus is coming, the Vengabus is..

The Vengabus is coming
And everybody's jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body
The Vengabus is coming

The song ended, and the Griffin Pirates collapsed on the stage floor in laughter, while Trixie launched another wave of fireworks, lighting the sky brilliantly for a moment before they faded, their multicoloured sparks bouncing off the hull of the ship, making it glimmer a rainbow hue. Shimmer blew a spout of pale blue flame straight into the air (she had matured somewhat, so her flame had taken on a different colour, apparently they do that several times during maturation, ranging from once to over a hundred times over their lifespan at various points of maturation, depending on development), and Tiras flashed the spotlight like a strobe.

"Sonor. HELLO MANEHATTEN"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd returned.

"TELL ME, WHO AM I?"

"GRIFFIN!"

"AND WHAT ARE WE?"

"PIRATES!"

"That's right. But we're not ordinary pirates. We work outside the law, but we don't plunder or pillage..... much." The crowd laughed at my joke.

"No, we do something far more important than fulfillment of greed. Can anyone tell me what that might be?" Hushed murmurs as the crowd discussed it to themselves, not really knowing.

"I thought so. And THAT, my ponies, is a problem. Equestria is a land of peace and harmony, but right outside it's borders is a land gripped...... by HATRED!" The crowd let out a collective gasp. Of course, I used the line that brought so much shock at Hearth's Warming when Spike used it. Hey, it works right?

"That's right. Even as we speak, griffins, diamond dogs, ponies, and maybe even some dragons, toil in obscurity, working in the mines, digging up gems for the greedy leaders of the diamond dog packs. They have no rolling green fields, no parties, no open sky, wind in their feathers, fur, and manes, heck, they don't even have food or clean water. No, all they have is dark earth, stone, shackles, dusty air and getting whipped for working too slow." More gasps, several ponies fainted.

"Above all, they have fear. They work themselves to the bone, no premise of reward, because they are afraid. Afraid of what will happen to them if they don't. Afraid of starving, afraid of.... being eaten. Nobody should have to live like that. It is our mission to change this. The Griffin Pirates are hereby declaring WAR on slavery and injustice, so that we can bring peace to a land that hasn't known it in over a thousand years. The problem is, we can't do it alone. We need your help." The crowd looked to themselves in confusion, before finally, a dark yellow earth pony stallion, with an orange mane and I kid you not, the tri-force on a gold headband as a cutie mark, spoke up.

"Mah boi, peace is what all true warriors strive for, how can we help?" Oh dear god, Must. Not. Laugh. Failing. MISERABLY. Giggle suppression overloaded. I took a few moments to compose myself before I answered.

"What we need is not wealth, we have plenty of that. Nor do we need resources, as we have a source of that as well. What we need, is you."

"Then, you are raising an army? You would have us fight?" One of the ponies asked accusingly.

"Oh no no no no goodness no. You ponies, for the most part, can't fight. Definitely not. We can handle the combat. What we need is organization. As our numbers increase, we become more spread out, and need to keep in touch with each other. Synchronizing operations. Long distance communication. Ponies would never see the front lines of combat. You'd all be completely safe. We'll take anyone we can get, but for the most part, we need unicorns."

"Why unicorns specifically?" Another called, unseen in the mass of ponies.

"Magic. Unicorns can use magic to send messages back and forth, coordinate our movements, keep our operations neat, organized, and well timed. We need unicorns who specialize in telepathy or other forms of alternative communication. Also, a large portion of our systems use magic to work, and while mostly autonomous, the colonies we are founding will need at least one unicorn living there to operate the lighthouse and watch tower. We need ponies who are good at organizing, scheduling, keeping things running smoothly. Unicorns would be best because of also supplying the magic needed, but we'll take anyone qualified. As you might be able to tell by the makeup of our motley crew, we don't discriminate."

"So then, is this conscription? We know of your connection to Canterlot royalty...."

"No, this is volunteer only. We only take those who want to go. Now, keep in mind that if you come along, you'll be in it for the long run, or at least till we swing back around and drop you off again. We're not taking anyone right now, it's too soon. We'll be ending our tour in Canterlot, with the Grand Galloping Gala. That's where we'll take any who want to come and fit our requirements. What I want for you, is to spread this message around. Let it be known throughout this great nation, that any who are itching for adventure, have a bad case of wanderlust, or want to make the world a better place, the Griffin Pirates and the tribe of the White Wind are recruiting."

"Looking to make a new life for yourself, get away from the drudgery and boredom of everyday life? We'll show you the world. As a very angry but wise one once said," I adopted a Texan accent. "SPREAD IT AROUND LIKE WILD FIRE!" Ha! Take that Ghost! I'm in Equestria and I just quoted you. I almost wish they'd put me in an episode now, because even if I'll never hear about it, I just KNOW you'll rage. Trololo.

"Now, I know you've all got a lot of thinking to do, but think about it later. Right now, I have a question. Manehatten? ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?"

Viva Las Pegasus (61)

Viva Las Pegasus

"That was epic!" Gilda screeched once we were back on the ship.

"Best show I've ever done." Trixie added.

"For a buncha stuck up, high class ponies, they sure had no trouble losin their high attitude and joinin a party." Steelhorn bellowed in his usual Scottish accent.

"It was so much fun!" Nadene peeped gleefully. When I look at her, It's almost like seeing Pinkie Pie in cat form. She's just so happy all the time, but I don't mind it at all. She's just.... happy. She's a happy cat. I guess it's because she's finally doing what she always wanted. Having an adventure. She's been super snugly with Maria too, purring and all that. It's like they're a couple of kids. A warm smile made it's way onto my face.

"Grif, you alright?" Gilda asked.

"Yeah.... I am." I turned my smile to her.

"You sure? I mean.... you're smiling..... instead of your usual scowl."

"Yeah. I guess I'm just.... happy? Content? I've got my family, we're going on tour, this is the stuff dreams are made of. We really might pull it off you know. We've got so much momentum, and we just keep picking up steam. As long as we recognize potential problems before they become disastrous, we'll be able to do this. It just... it makes me feel good I think." She snuggled up to me and rubbed her head against my neck.

"That's good."

"And there's Las Pegasus. Now, we did good in Manehatten, but we need to keep the ball rolling. How are we gonna get their attention this time?"

"I've performed here once or twice." Trix cringed. "Well, let's just say Ponyville wasn't the first place I was run out of, here they just have so many performers I went unnoticed. Maybe they forgot about me? Anyway, there are several hotels and such near the eastern train station, as well as a shopping center, a few clubs, casinos, and a stage like what was in Manehatten."

"Hmm, train station..... central position...... surrounded by everything, open space........ I just got a brilliant idea. Listen up....."

The 10:30 express pulled into the east station at Las Pegasus, letting it's passengers off. But the ponies in the train cars weren't the only passenger, oh no, there were also ten figures, five griffins, two diamond dogs, a dragon, a unicorn, and a cat... standing ON the lead train car as it pulled in.

"ALL ABOARD!"

Maniacal laughter filled the air as the sound filled the alleyways, echoing into the hotels, mall, clubs, and casinos.

"Aye aye aye aye aye."

A metal guitar opening played, the ponies poking their heads out of their windows, or over some clouds, and others filled the streets, all curious as to where the sound was coming from. The look of shock on their faces was priceless shock as they realized that Griffin the griffin, and his famous crew, had rode into town on the top of the train, and were now holding an impromptu rock concert. News of the show in Manehatten had gotten around, and the ponies were far more eager to get into the party animal role, especially since they were in the party capitol of Equestria. Hooting and whooping rose until the lyrics started.

Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate

Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

Let's Go!
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role

Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeah

Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something' that just isn't fair

Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train

The ponies cheered, clapping their front hooves together, or stomping them on the roads. The clamor of their applause was deafening. And I mean it, I've used the sound amplify magic and yelled to the point I was sure my ears were bleeding, and this was loud. The city that never sleeps.

"VIVA LAS PEGASUS!"

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?"

"GRIFFIN PIRATES!"

"AND WHY ARE WE HERE?"

"TO ROCK!"

"Whew. It may be fun, but the rock star life takes way too much out of you. I think we need to do something a little calmer next."

"Well, what about we hit a club?" Trixie suggested.

"What? Aren't clubs crazy?"

"Clubs here are more like classical and jazz clubs. The entire city is crazy, so the clubs are what's calm, instead of it being the other way around."

"Well, know any good places?"

"There's always Necktie's place. It's one of the few I didn't get booed off the stage. All the ponies wear black, listen to bad poetry, and sing depressing music."

"So then, it's an emo club? Perfect!"

Gilda and the rest were still exhausted from the concert, so Trixie and I went alone. We walked up to the door, where we saw a bunch of black wearing, body piercing, non-cutiemark-tatooing ponies walk in through an obscure iron door. If you didn't know it was there, you'd never find it.

"Just let me do the talking." Trixie instructed as we entered, and were met by a beige unicorn stallion with a tie loosly hanging around his neck, over a white shirt. So, Left 4 Dead Louis as a pony, and replace the pills with depression.

"Hey Trixie, good to see you again. It's been a while since you came this way."

"Meh." She replied, realistic looking apathy all over her, and in her voice as well. I quickly adopted her mood.

"Who's this?"

"Grif." She replied in the same tone.

"Good, go on in."

"Trixie, what they heck was that all about?" I asked her in a whisper. "The guy at the door was...... perky....."

"It's a trick. He pretends to be all happy, and if the ones trying to get in greet him happily, he kicks them out. A test, really."

"That's..... surprisingly clever. Well, it's fine. I got the vibe of this place. Let's go see what's going on."

Two hours of extremely strong coffee and we were getting pretty sick of it. The poetry was as bad as the coffee was strong. It was like eating coffee beans, so it was painful to listen to. It was dark. If it wasn't for my griffin eyesight, I wouldn't have been able to see anything. I'm not sure how anyone else here could see the cups in front of them. Only reason they could see the stage was because it was the only thing illuminated, with a plain hardwood stage, and red curtains barely lit up so they stood out from the shadows, but only just. All you could smell was the bitterness of the world's strongest coffee, and a hint of dust. It was all very plain.

"Trixie, this sucks, why did you bring me here?"

"Honestly, I don't even know anymore."

"Really, it was pointless."

"Everything's pointless....." One of the black clad zombies said, overhearing our conversation.

"I'm going on stage."

"Wait, are you sure you're ready? You don't want to get us kicked out....."

"Trust me on this one, they won't know what hit them. I'm going to sing what is quite possibly the saddest song ever written." And then I killed my emotions. My face became blank.

I walked up to the stage, and slowly climbed on. They had began to close for the night, but seeing one more standing up there, the ponies who had been just about to leave sat back down to wait and see. I let it come flowing back. All the times I had been picked on, the sting of the insults, the pain, the frustration. I had been holding it back, keeping it in, for a very long time. I had refused to acknowledge it, but now I was letting it back in, letting myself feel the pain. It brought a single tear to my eye, which I wiped away, then steeled myself for what I was about to do. I didn't bother with the spell. I had sang this song so many times I could do it perfectly.

I lazily pointed to a pony at a piano to begin playing a tune. I don't know how he could do it with hooves, seeing as how keyboards need fingers, but it's just one of those things I don't question. Just how I'm not questioning how he managed to play the song I wanted either. The somber tune played for a little bit, before I closed my eyes and began to sing.

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take

When people run in circles
It's a very, very
mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

And I feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson

Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take

When people run in circles
It's a very, very
mad world ... mad world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

I opened my eyes, to find that tears were streaming out of them, and by the glistening in the crowd, reflecting the tiny amount of light coming from the stage, making the darkness look as though it was filled with a multitude of stars, I could tell there wasn't a single dry eye in the house. I gave a sigh, then held the mike out in front of me and dropped it with a thud before I walked out of the place, Trixie close behind.

"Grif, that was....... beautiful."

"Yeah, don't tell anyone else k?"

"But, why?"

"I don't want anyone thinking I'm a whiny little bitch. It's been years since I cried properly. I'm always bottling it up, putting it away, and it hurts Trixie, it hurts so damn much. I get to wondering, if I could cut out my own heart, would the pain stop?" I started quaking.

"Whoa, hey, whoa, hold on!" She called out as I collapsed in her arms. I stared at her deliriously, and she pet my crest of feathers, trying to comfort me. I started having light spasms, and she had to clock me on the side of the head (lightly) a couple times to get me to snap out of it.

"Uh... huh? What happened?"

"You collapsed. I think we should get back to the ship."

"Uh, yeah......"

I wearily flew back on board, barely able to set myself down on deck before I collapsed again, prompting Trixie to lift me with her magic to put me in bed, where Gilda was waiting, first angry about us taking so long, but on seeing me, concerned. I spent the rest of the night crying into her feathers while she stroked my back, whispering soothing things to try and calm me down.

The Next Morning

"Hey.... you okay Grif? You were really fucked up last night." She asked, voice full of worry.

"Yeah. I think I know what happened. I've been holding onto my pain for so long, I let a bit of it out and couldn't handle it. This is Equestria, where things like the 'magic of friendship' and the 'power of love' exist. Here, emotion is synonymous with magic, so when I let myself cry for the first time in years, such powerful sadness which I refused to let myself feel..... I couldn't handle the backlash. Ever get that feeling, where you just want to curl up in a ball and die, and then you get sick?" She nodded.

"I think that's what happened. I don't think I can come to terms with my past. I wouldn't be able to survive it."

"Grif..... you're a dumbass. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me." She wrapped me in a tight hug, then folded her wings around me, the top of my head against her chin.

"I love you, and I will always be there for you, just like you'll always be there for me. You're so strong, and when I see you like this, it scares me. You don't have to carry the weight yourself. Let me carry it with you." How long we stayed like that, I don't know. Minutes felt like seconds, seconds felt like hours, and hours felt like minutes. Pretty soon, Maria called everyone up for breakfast, so I dried my eyes, got my head screwed on straight, put on my game face, and was ready to lead my family again. Gilda was tired from having taken care of me all night, so she opted to go back to bed.

"Gilda....... thanks......"

Growing Up (62)

Growing Up

"Let's go. I don't really wanna stay here much longer. Let's hit the jungle for herbs first since it's close by, then head to the colony, then back to Equestria to finish the tour. So long Las Pegasus, hello Vren tribe."

Lazy days were spent aboard the ship, idly training, making plans, Steelhorn, Shimmer, and the pony machinists working on the laser cannons. Yes, they're building more. We're gonna have more colonies in the future, we'll be needing more of em. The cats were getting pretty excited to be home for a bit, even if they weren't going to their land, the jungle was where they truly belonged, and they were glad to be going back. Nadene was glad as well, but at the same time........

"Grif, I think there may be a problem with us getting the herb. I don't think I can go there. I don't think we can go there. They kicked us out remember? You're not welcome there, I've been banished, and I don't even want to think about what they'll think of Maria. We'll have to send someone else....." The cat reasoned.

"I'd be inclined to agree, but, who else can get the herb?"

"The herb is easy, well, for us anyway. It's unique, you can't miss it. Being let into the grove by the tribe however....." Nadene replied.

"Well, it can't be me, Gilda, Trixie, Etch, Growl, any of the griffins, since they'll make the connection, or any of the other cats, since they're from different tribes........ I don't know what they'll think of Shimmer..... so, that leaves Steelhorn and the Freuds....."

"Actually...." Selma's rattling old bones interrupted my train of thought. "I've been thar once."

"You have?!?!?!" Everyone looked at her with gaping mouths.

"Listen ere ya upstarts, I've been around a long time, almost two undred years if I count em right, and I've seen thangs that nobody 'as business seein. I've also seen tha most beautiful sights in this world, tha sacr'd grove bein one of em. Course, I was a spry young lass back then." Two hundred? That doesn't seem right. Didn't she say ninety-something last time? I can't remember.

"Selma, the grove is guarded by fierce animals and wicked vines. You wouldn't be able to make it in your condition...." Maria pleaded.

"I know, but, thar ain't really a choice. Them gear heads and I are tha only ones they'll let in, and they can't go on their own. They need a guide. Someone who knows tha traditions and tha layout."

"I don't like zis....."

"Listen ere sonny! It's ur wife! Man up! Ya gotta take responsibility fer er! She's not strong enough ta do it, and are ya really gonna send yer daughter in thar because you're too much of a coward?"

"Geirmund Freud is not a coward!" The mecha pony replied.

"Well then sonny, you best be gettin ready. I'll go over tha traditions with ya, so ya best listen well."

"Hey, I'm still the captain. Doesn't anyone care what I have to say about this?" I tried to get the situation back under control.

"No!" They both shot back at me. "Listen to your elders!" They said in stereo.

"Ah fine, do whatever the hell ya want. If you need me, I'll be figuring stuff out." I pouted and left, heading back to my quarters to go over some ideas I had with Trixie and Gilda. I always hated when adults pulled the 'I'm older and I'm wiser' line, because there really isn't anything you can do against it, especially in this situation. It really sucks actually. Then again, The whole point of having Selma on board was because she's old and knows more, and this is the jungle, she's in her element. Might as well let her do her job.

"Grif, are you sure just letting them go off is such a good idea?" Trixie asked.

"Gear is like sixty, and is more machine than pony. Selma is a tough old biddy who knows the lay of the land. What could go...." I proceeded to cover my mouth with my claw.

"That was close. What I mean is, they can take care of themselves. She'll guide him through, and he'll protect her. Besides, I can't keep them cooped up on the ship all day. When's the last time Selma felt dirt on her paws? They need some fresh air. This is part of trusting my crew. I don't like it, but, I have to believe they can take care of themselves." I gave a sigh.

"I still don't like it." Gilda added.

"Well, that's why we're going to spy on them isn't it? We'll drop them off outside the village, let them do their thing, and watch them from above, giving 'subtle' aid to them whenever we can."

"That's more like it."

"Okay, so, you're ready? We'll drop you off a half mile outside the village, then return there every day at noon till you get back."

"It don't matta if he's ready or not, he's gotta do it anyway."

"I really don't want to do zis."

"Well ya ain't got a choice sonny, now get movin!" She smacked him in the flank with her staff. He scooted up towards me, and I picked him up. Gilda grabbed Selma, and with Trixie and Shimmer on our backs, we flew down to the surface.

"Okay. Well, good luck you two, I have a feeling you'll need it."

"Uugh, ze jungle is hot und humid, I think mein gears are rusting."

"Quit yer bellyachin ya milk drinker!" She smacked him again. Watching from our cloud, the four of us started our own little conversation to pass the time.

"She's really quite hard on him, isn't she?" Gilda pointed out.

"Well, he was babied pretty much his whole life because of his 'disability', and since he spent all his time indoors making his machines, the extent of his social interaction and survival experience is hiding from angry guards. He's in for a rude awakening."

"He always was a bit of a spoiled brat, it's a wonder I turned out all right." Everyone turned around slowly to see Furnace sitting on a cloud next to us, which seemed to have been made of water vapor spraying out of her fake wing. If we had drinks, we would have spat them.

"Oh come on, you think nopony noticed the fact that you hadn't come back yet? I figured you'd spy on them. By ze way, it's my job to keep an eye on my dad, I AM his daughter after all." We motioned for her to bring her cloud over to ours and join them together, and then we all leaned over and watched what was happening down below, all the while using the cloud like pillows, while Trixie and Shimmer used us as pillows. I noticed in particular that the blue dragon had slight bumps on her back. Maybe she's gonna grow wings? Can't think about that now, gotta focus on the task at hand.

The pair down below approached the village, where the chief stood in all his blind glory. Then surprisingly, He gave that old bat Selma a hug. Guess they know each other. He gave a glare at Geirmund. I could hear them faintly from up here. Selma was explaining the situation.

"What's going on, I can't see." Trixie complained.

"Selma met the chief, and is explaining that he needs the herb to save his wife. Nadene spoke of it a bit before. They keep very low stocks of the herbs on hand, since they can just go into the grove to get them. Apparently, the grove has 'accepted' the Vren tribe. Outsiders however have to enter the grove to get it themselves." I began relaying things play by play for the rest of them.

"Why can't they just.... I don't know... BUY the herb off them?" Furnace asked.

"Because, it's not like she just needs a single treatment, they're asking for quite a lot of it, so, to ensure that it's going to a worthy cause, they're making him go get it. Basically, he has to earn it. You know, we probably should have brought Nadene with us, that way she could give us more info on the spot, instead of us having to go off of what she told us."

"Uuck, I wish to get zis over with. Ze sooner I leave zis infernal jungle, ze better."

"We only just got ere, and we still got a long way to go ta get the herb. Ya got a sample don'tcha?" My guide chided.

"Yes, right here. Zis is what we're looking for. Let's just get it and go."

"No, we have to follow tha proper tradition." She scowled.

"Bah, tradition. We should do zis as quickly as possible."

"Here is the grove. Are you sure you are prepared?" One of the cats asked.

"Yes, let's just hurry and finish zis."

"You have so much to learn. You are old, but are in no way wise." Muttered the old cat being my guide.

"Let's begin."

Selma painted herself in some sticky green muck from the edge of the grove. It smelled foul, and matted her fur. There is no way I'm putting that stuff on me. It will get in my gears. She motioned for me to do the same, but I simply began to walk in. She rolled her eyes and huffed, then entered as well, stepping in front of me, taking the lead.

"Stay close youngun. You don't wanna step on something." From her smell and the globs of much dropping off her, I was more worried about stepping in something. I've got to keep my machine parts clean and well oiled. Getting any of that gunk on me was just asking for my enhanced limbs to get destroyed. Suddenly, she stopped moving forwards, and started walking in a circle around the clearing we were in. I began moving forward, but she whacked me on the head with that blasted staff oh hers. I grit my teeth. Seriously though, if she does that again, I'll snap her damn stick in half. She sat cross legged in the middle of the clearing for about ten minutes.

"Why are we waiting? We should be moving towards the herb." I began walking forwards, out of the clearing, and she ran straight at me at a speed I thought not possible for one her age. I turned to look in front of me just in time to see a massive timberwolf close it's jaws around my neck. It suddenly backed off as some of the muck she had coated herself with splattered on it's nose, causing it to yelp and run in fear.

"What was......." She took more of the muck and smeared it on my head.

"Tha smell repels wild animals and diseased bugs. If ya had just worn some ta begin with, we wouldn't have had this problem, but since yer shiny bits can't get dirty, I had to spread the scent of the muck around ta keep em at bay. It's only at the edge of tha grove, and near the middle, and acts as a barrier ta keep all tha nasties inside. Like we all told ya before, tradition, there's a reason we do things. Even if tha reason is lost to time, if we follow tradition, we'll still remember the action. Ya best be listenin from now on, ya hear?"

That crazy old bat just saved my life........ For as long as I can remember, I was the one who knew everything. I was the smart one, I was the one who knew what to do, but here.... I'm helpless. I may as well be a sack of potatoes. I gulped nervously, and nodded dumbly. Here, she is the wise master, and I'm the learner. I can't say I'm comfortable with it. It's been a long time since I've had to learn from somepony else.

"Now, what was tha next bit of the tradition?"

"We make our way to ze sacred pool and bathe to 'clense our soul of sin' so the dark hungerer will overlook us?"

"Actually, it's ta clense tha muck. While these critters may not like it, it's like honey to tha guardian, and we can't get past it if we're all mucked up. It hates what's in the water."

We made our way to a sparkling clean pool of water. I took a taste, but then realized it was ocean water. I'm not sure how, but we're miles from the ring sea, and there's sparkling clean salt water in this pool. By her instruction, I wash the muck off myself out of the pool before I dunk myself in, gears and all, then use the automatic oiling function to prevent rusting once I got out.

"Good, yer learnin youngun, now let's go." I stopped for a moment, and used a pump in my fake leg to suck some of the water up and store it. Could be useful if we run into this 'guardian'.

We continued to walk for about an hour, we reached a moat filled with more of the muck, and it had several sets of stairs leading down into it, all placed around the circle.

"I can just fly across. You should wait here and," *WHACK* I'm really starting to hate this cat, but she's saved my flank once already, maybe I should be listening instead?

"Look." She pointed her staff forwards.

"I don't see anything."

"Look closer."

I stared for a full minute before I saw a small shimmer in the air.

"What is that?"

"Spider silk. Now, we wait till sundown. At dusk and dawn, when the light shines at the right angle, which it will do for only ten minutes, we will be able to see them clearly, and find a path through them. Once we enter, we will have to spend the night."

I waited with Selma for another hour, and when the sun just began to set on the horizon, I saw the most miraculous sight. One by one, the threads that I had only caught a glimpse of before, lit up brilliantly. Another and another caught the light, until there were millions of them, making a great dome of light over the grove proper. It was pristine. It was by far the single most beautiful thing I had seen in all my life, not counting my wife and child. I stood there in awe of it's beauty.

"Well, get movin! Ya wanted to get the herb and be done with it, and now you're dilly dallying. If we don't get through in the next ten minutes, we'll be stuck in there, and that won't be good." I quickly did as she commanded. She found a set of stairs not covered in webs, and we descended. Upon reaching the bottom, we quickly found a set of stepping stones with which to cross. Selma seemed to be struggling to find her balance on the slippery stones.

"Here, allow me."

"I got it!"

"No, you don't. You're not as spry as you used to be, you'll slip and fall in ze muck, and if what you said about ze guardian is true, it'll come after you. Just like how I need to recognize tradition, you need to recognize when somepony has found a better way." She looked at me and scowled, before she finally relented.

"Very well. I guess I have been a bit of a stubborn old hag." She reached up and grabbed hold. Now, I may be old, and because of that, if I were a normal pegasus, I might not have been able to lift her. With my metal wings however, the added weight and care needed due to her being frail became a trivial matter. I activated the built in thrusters, and we slowly hovered over the muck pit to the other side, all the while avoiding the webs which threatened to snare us.

"Well, they've gone in. I have to say, I'm actually pretty impressed. Maybe I didn't need to worry about them. Well, we can't see anything from here because of the gigantic, shiny, *shudder* spider webs, so, let's head back to the ship to get some rest."

"You know, from watching those two, I think I learned something. No matter how much you know, there's always room to learn." Trixie pointed out.

"Yeah, and that the young should respect the ways of the old, but the old should accept that the young have good ideas." Furnace added.

"Well? You two have a letter to write then don't you?"

Dear Princess Luna,

Today, through watching some of the other crew members, I've learned that no matter how good you are, how smart you are, or what you know, the world can still surprise you, and you have to be open minded enough to listen to what others tell you.

I also learned that things are done a certain way for a reason, and even if we don't understand the purpose behind it, it's done that way specifically. We should respect tradition, but at the same time, we should also accept when someone does something new. By knowing the old ways, which we learn from our elders, and combining them with the ideas of the young, we can make something brand new and amazing, or solve problems that couldn't be dealt with by one way alone.

Sincerely, Trixie and Furnace.

Letting Go (63)

Letting Go

"Well, we are in ze grove proper, should we find ze herb now?"

"Yes. Notice how this one has a faint glow in the moonlight? If they are mature, then they have the glow. Let's find a patch so we can harvest it."

We walked through the moonlit forest slowly. It's hard to comprehend it's beauty. The artisans of Canterlot themselves could not recreate something of this level. It is like walking in a forest, except instead of air, it's Celestia's mane. Small glowing bugs hung in the air, dragonflies flitting around. As I stepped on a branch, it cracked, and a thousand luna moths opened their wings, glowing pale green in the reflection of the light. The bloom was nearly blinding. I began stumbling around, and collided with a tree.

"I thought I said to watch where you walk! Don't move!" The cat hissed. I held perfectly still, eyes closed, and felt a strange sensation fall over me. Like the gentle touch of feathers.

"Don't....... move........." Selma's voice was now a mere whisper. I cautiously opened one eye, and through my squint, saw a massive moth, as tall as a tree, much like the smaller ones surrounding us. I gulped. It ran it's feathery feelers over me, trying to make sense of me.

"It.... it tickles." I tried to whisper and hold it in, but it was too much, and I fell over giggling. My laughter stopped dead when it opened it's wings fully, then revealed a proboscis with a wicked barb on the end of it, slowly snaking towards me. It's purpose suddenly became clear in my mind.

"Sheit!" I lifted my fake front hoof up, and sprayed it with the water from the pool I had sucked up. It gave an extremely loud hiss, then recoiled in what seemed to be pain, before flying off. It's wings battered and buffeted me as it tried to get away, and I gave it another spray from the wide angle nozzle in my limb. It screeched and flailed, then flew up into the air. It got stuck in the dome of web, and began to struggle in futility. To my horror, a truly massive spider, much similar to what Griffin had described in his adventure in the temple, came into view. As it seems, the webs are not invisible because they are thin, they are actually invisible, made so by deflecting light. By making a cocoon around themselves, they deflect all light away from themselves, thus making the arachnids undetectable. Only when the light hits it at a certain angle do the webs deflect it in a visible manner, making them shine. It appeared as though the titanic black spider was climbing out of the air itself. The moth thrashed and hissed, right up till the spider buried it's fangs in it's carcass. It stopped moving, and the equally large arachnid spun it in web, making it invisible as well, before climbing back into it's hiding place.

Selma and I both stared wide eyed at what had occurred, in disbelief. I had driven a titan into it's mortal foe, and had therefore slain it.

"Um, shall we get ze herb and leave zis deathtrap?"

"Yes, and sonny, when we get back ta tha village, and tha ship too, ya may want to leave out tha part about killin one a their gods. The spider and moth are sacred to the Vren. The guardian is held here by the hungerer. In time, a new guardian will rise, but for tha time being, the grove is without one. If the guardian leaves his post and falls to the hungerer, those overly superstitious felines will take it as an omen."

"Und what if ze hungerer falls to ze guardian?"

"Then the webs will vanish, and the moths will devour the village. That ain't an omen though, it's happened once before. Good thing it was tha other way around eh?"

"Eyup. Let's get ze herb und leave zis crazy forest." The laws of nature here are more complex than one of my machines, and three times as crazy. We found a patch where it grew, and I gathered fifty or so mature specimens of the plant. Just as I was getting ready to leave, I tripped on a vine, and quickly found myself tangled in it.

"Spider vines! Don't move!" She told me about spider vines before. Basically, sentient plants. Sensitive vines wait for something to step on them, then tie them up as they thrash, much like webs. Then, a large venus fly trap like portion comes forward and eats whatever is caught. This place truly is a death trap. No wonder the cats use it as a testing ground for coming of age, or for outsiders to become part of the tribe.

"Alright sonny, just sit tight, I'll get'cha out of there." She walked towards me, and started VERY carefully taking the vines off me one at a time. And then, I saw it. The gaping maw of the plant. She almost had me free.

"Selma, behind you!" She whipped around and smacked the plant mouth with her staff, only for another to come from behind and push her over, and another wrap itself around her, constricting her.

"Nien!" Forget this. Time to do things my way. At a mental command, small circular saws sprang from my wings and began cutting through the remaining vines that held me. Just as I got myself free, I saw the most horrible thing imaginable. Five of the toothed plant mouths, one biting on each of her limbs, and one on the old cat's head, literally rip her to pieces, and munch on the parts they had, splattering her blood on my face.

"NIENNIENIENIENIEN!" I sprang forwards, launching fireworks at the infernal plants, the rockets colliding and blowing them up. Then I brought forth an oil based flame thrower, and burned the damn vines to ash, all the while, they thrashed and lashed, trying to strike me.

"NIENIENIENIENIEN!" Tears poured from my eyes as a dozen saws, cutters, torches, and other such tools sprang from my mechanical extremities and slashed, burned, cuts, stabbed, and ripped through more of the vines. I have never felt such anger or hatred in all my life, and towards a plant no less! I followed the shredded vines to their roots, and sprayed them with the blazing slick, causing the entire forest to shudder and screech as the plant finally died. I collapsed, laying there, breathing hard as I had exhausted myself, as well as most of my arsenal. Just like that, Selma was dead. And it's all because of MY idiocy and bumbling! I should have just melted those vines to begin with. To Tartarus with tradition! I ran to the moat, and instead of taking the other way, I just brought my flame thrower forward and burned through the webs in my way as I flew out. The flames began to spread, quickly consuming the entire dome, as well as the so called 'Gods'. Flaming chunks of webbing fell, but petered out before they reached the ground, so the herbs in the grove itself would be fine. I don't give a damn about the Vren! I kept flying, a second wind brought on by adrenaline, and met the timber wolf I had seen before. I just wanted to leave this blasted place.

"OUT OF MEIN WAY!" I folded the metal feathers of my wings together, making blades. The first one it caught in it's teeth, the second slicing it's head clean off. Returning them to their natural shape, my left metal wing was now deformed from the bites.

"RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH." I was no longer Geirmund Freud. I was an animal. What had taken almost an entire day to enter, I took ten minutes to leave, fighting my way out. I didn't even bother stopping at the village, but I had to pass through it, and was stopped by the elder as I did.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"You're worthless gods are dead! Ze hungerer keeps the guardian zere in a prison, and ze guardian attracts ze hungerer, keeping it from the village, neither are necessary, with both gone. Ze little ones will eventually grow to replace zem, and ze muck still keeps all ze rest bound within. All zat I have done is temporary. Now, OUT OF MEIN WAY!"

"You, you have slain them.... then, we are free to enter the grove as we wish?" Suddenly, cheers erupted from the village. I thought they would be upset with me, but, as it seems, they revered them as gods not for respect, but for fear. So, they can enter the grove whenever they want, and they don't have to worry about massive spiders or moths. Go ahead, celebrate, I don't care. They wanted to throw a party in my honor, bah, I'm leaving this damned place for good. I got the herbs. I'm not coming back.

"Geirmund.... what happened? Where's Selma?" Griffin asked me as he flew down from a cloud. Apparently, he and had been spying. I don't care. Before I could say anything though, I collapsed.

_______________________________________________________________________

"Damn Gear, you're fucked up." I saw the mecha pony collapse in my arms. He had cuts, scrapes, nicks, and bruises all over him. His left wing was torn and mangled, and his right had a big dent in it. I'm not sure how me managed to fly himself here with his mechanical wings in that condition. There were loose springs popping out of them, and while I carried him back to the ship, a couple gears fell off into the jungle below. All the while he slept, he had tears in his eyes.

"Dad?" Furnace asked tentatively. Nadene removed his backpack, took notice of the herbs, then brought them down to her alchemy station, bringing up some potions and salves to treat his wounds and possible infections. It was a whole two days before he woke up.

"Gearzy? What happened?" Cable asked, full of worry.

"I'm far too old for zis."

"Yo, gear, we're all wondering, where's Selma, and just what the hell happened to you? You look like you've been put through a super sized can opener." He recounted his tale, about how everything went well, until he, in his clumsiness, fell into a pit of spidervines, and Selma died trying to get him out of it, then, how he went on a rampage and fought his way out of the forest, the Vren wanted to celebrate the 'god-slayer' and how he basically told them to go fuck themselves. Nadene was in shock that he had caused the death of the two most feared creatures in Vren lore, and Maria was bawling over the loss of her mentor. Cable and Furnace were just trying to comfort him, after all, he'd been through a huge ordeal.

"We'll have a memorial service for her. In the mean time, Geirmund, you've proven you've got the guts, and are fucking crazy enough, to be a part of this crew." Myself, Etch, Growl, Nadene, Shimmer, Trixie, and Gilda all held our necklaces forward to show them to him, and I tossed the eighth and final one at him. His eyes were wide in shock.

"Welcome to the crew."

Back in my room, I slammed my fist on my desk.

"DAMNIT ALL TO HELL!"

"Grif, call down!" Gilda begged.

"That's two! TWO members of this family that are dead! FUCK!" I began pacing around, screaming obscenities. She dove at me, knocking me to the ground, and slapped me. I snapped out of it, and she saw tears in my eyes again.

"It feels like it's the start."

"The start of what?"

"Losing everything, all over again. I feel like I'm starting to lose everyone, and then I'll be all alone. I hung my head, and she wrapped her arms around me, burying her head in my chest and looking up into my eyes.

"You didn't expect it to be easy did you?" She asked.

"It never is."

"We're at war Grif, there IS going to be casualties. People die. It happens. And while we can try to prevent it, we can't do everything. Sometimes, life just hates you. You and I know that better than anyone."

"But that's what's horrible about it. Now that I have people I care about, losing them hurts more than if I never had anyone to begin with."

"Then, do you wish you had never met us? Would you trade this away?"

"Not for the world."

"Then, you need to learn to let go."

"We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Selma, the elder. She held a special place in our hearts. We are a family, and she was like the cranky old grandma that gets on everybody's nerves, but we loved her anyway, because when we needed her, she was there." There was a small bit of laughter.

"If anyone would like to say something, please, come forward." Tiras was the first to step up.

"I know the two of us never got along, we had different styles, but, she lead her people with strength and dignity in the absence of a chief. She knew what she had to do, and then she'd do it. She was strong, and while I never said this while she was alive, I should have. Selma, I have always held you in high esteem for the way you lead the Lemko, especially through the harsh times." He stepped down, and Maria stepped up.

"She was like a grandmother to me. She stayed by me, even when I was being stubborn, and helped me find my own special way to help the crew. She would often tell stories about when she was just a kitten, stories of the jungle, like the roc attacks, the great slythin, and even food recipes. I, I'll miss her." Maria wept for a moment, before stepping down. Several of the warrior cats came up and spoke of her, like when they were little, how she'd treat their wounds when they fell out of a tree or things like that. Then, Nadene stepped up.

"Not many outsiders of our tribe have had the honor to enter the sacred grove, and fewer still have made it out alive. The fact that she, from a tribe of warriors, befriended our people and was trusted enough by them to enter, and had the skill and foresight to make it back out alive, is a testament to her wisdom. Her passing is a burden to us all." Nadene stepped down, and finally, Geirmund took the stand, with an unmatchable look of sorrow on his face.

"Before we entered the grove, I was spiteful and hesitant to listen. I thought I knew everything, because I was a master in mein element. But as soon as I was taken out of mein comfort zone, I became helpless as a newborn foal. Even though I was stubborn und pig headed, she stood by me. I was ze only one who could enter ze grove to get the herb und save my wife's, und she was kind enough to guide me, even though I acted like a mule. I finally came to appreciate what she was doing for me, and zen I became ensnared. She released me from ze trap, but in doing so, fell into it herself. She is dead because I am a bumbling idiot. I do not deserve to a part of zis crew." Then he stepped down. I took the stand again.

"Geirmund, you dumbass. We're all idiots. Every last one of us. But, two heads are better than one, so forty or so ought to be alright. The very fact that you accept that you don't deserve to be a part of this crew qualifies you to be. Rather than hiding in a hole and crying about what could have been, instead, let's honor her sacrifice. She died so that you, and your wife, could live. Don't throw it away, but instead, with your every breath, hold her in reverence. Let us never forget what she gave to us, nor forget any of us who fall, but live and pass on their memory. So long as we hold them in our hearts, they are never really gone. Now, let us salute those who have died this day, and NEVER FORGET!" All the cats stood at attention before heading below decks, and we let off an empty full broadside in salute of the granny.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today, the value of life has become all the more apparent. The oldest among us died so that the young may live. She gave her life willingly to protect, and we ask that you honor Selma of the Lemko for her bravery in the face of adversity.

We're heading to Ponyville to continue our tour, then we'll head east to the colony for the naming ceremony, then finally, Canterlot for the Grand Galloping Gala. Send us some tickets will you? Maybe a group pass? There are quite a lot of us.

As for the question. Watching those around you mature, grow old, pass away, while you still live on. Knowing that all those who you care about will one day die, and you'll be all alone again,

Does it hurt?

Sincerely, Griffin.

I let a single tear stain the page, before I rolled it up and sent it off. We set sail for Ponyville, and I went to go check up on Maria. She's been in her room crying for hours, and Nadene comforting her. Selma's death was particularly hard on her and Geirmund. He's tried burying himself in his work, trying to help himself get over it by immersing in something he knows. After all, his gear was trashed. He needs to make himself a brand new set.

"Do I wear socks?" Celestia looked over at Luna, who was wearing fuzzy blue leg warmers.

"Can't say that I have. Luna likes them though. I'm also glad she got another friendship report. And may Selma rest in peace." Celestia let a tear of her own fall. It's never nice hearing about death, and considering they're like a family, she knows all too well what they feel. Thought's of Twilight and her friends passed through her mind, the little purple filly Twilight bouncing with joy, the brash Rainbow Dash, the hardworking Applejack, the kind Fluttershy, the generous Rarity, and the excitable Pinkie Pie. Knowing that one day, all of them would grow old, and finally pass on, the ever composed and regal alicorn felt a pang in her heart, which Philomina, sensing her distress, flew over and began to comfort her.

"Does it hurt? What a stupid question. Of course it does. In an endless life, that is the one thing I will never get used to, no matter how many times it happens."

Concert (65)

Concert

"I regret everything!" I lay on the floor of Sugercube Corner clutching my stomach. I've never been one to overeat, and always have the utmost restrain when it comes to sugary foods but..... well..... Sugarcube Corner cake isn't just cake. After having a single bite, it became abundantly clear why Pinkie Pie inhales it nonstop, and after picking Shimmer up from the library and heading to the iconic bakery with her and the four foals, the six of us proceeded to stuff our guts with as many of the most delicious, frosting covered, diabetes inducing confectioneries as we could. At this point, we all spent a great deal of time rethinking our life choices that lead up to this moment. Shimmer didn't have much fun at the library, which I now kind of regret just dumping her off there. When I asked her why, her only reasoning was that Spike is a 'dweeb'. It's not really his fault, since he's been stifled his whole life, but he kind of is.

"Eeeeerggggg, *Hurk*" Shimmer forced herself to not vomit, as it would have been an insult to the desserts we had eaten with such gusto. The crusaders were in no better condition and so, after about ten minutes of us BEGGING, Nadene gave us some remedies she had with her to deal with our sore stomachs. Now, normally, she would have given them to us right away, but she was laying on the floor right next to us, and for quite some time, contemplated hogging the precious liquid all to herself. She may have Pinkie's energy, but she doesn't have her stomach. Maria had eaten, as in all things she does, with moderation, and Pinkie actually went to the point of insulting us, calling us lightweights as she ate an entire cake in a single bite.

The Cakes were happy though, since we didn't wreck the place. Not often that they had such a small group of customers buy such a large supply of baked goods. Well, other than Pinkie. After we were finally able to detach ourselves from the floor, Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Pip, Nadene, Maria, and I, all left the shop and headed to Rarity's to collect Gilda, at an extremely sluggish pace mind you, not wanting to upset our stomachs any further.

We arrived at Cariousel Boutique just in time to see Gilda flying out of it like a bat out of hell, laughing like a maniac.

"Catch me if you can, Dash." She taunted before flying full tilt back towards the ship. And then we saw it, the most horrifying, beautiful, hilarious thing I have ever had the lucky misfortune of laying my eyes on. Rainbow Dash, with her mane in a bun on the top of her head with chopsticks through it, not scruffy like normal but silken, some red blush put on her cheeks from a makeup kit, wearing a red, leaf pattern kimono, and a black waist strap which, coincidentally,(actually, it was probably intended this way) wrapped around her body in such a way that it held her wings down. Now, to say that she looked pretty was an understatement, but the fact that she simply didn't have the grace to pull it off made it hilarious, and the face of pure and utter rage and frustration she wore due to the fact that not only was she dolled up, but that she couldn't get the damn thing off and give chase to the one that put her in that position made it even funnier, as well as a bit terrifying.

"Gilda! I'm gonna.... .errg..... get you...... for.... erg..... this!" She screamed as she struggled. Okay, so, Gilda pulled off her prank, time for my part. I gave a very loud whistle, you know, like when you see a something, or someone, pretty. You know, this one, made even easier by the fact that I'm part bird. Now she's looking at me. Good. I've got her attention. Time to do my thing.

"What's cookin good lookin? I don't think I've seen you before."

"Very funny Griffin, now, help me get this stupid thing off!" She replied angrily.

"You know me? Why, I am humbled that one as beautiful as yourself would take notice." Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Shimmer and Nadene were giggling madly, while Maira, Pip, and Scootaloo were gagging.

"Uh, duh, it's me, Rainbow Dash, now quit playing around and get this thing of of me."

"Rainbow Dash? Nope, you can't be her. You're definitely not her. She'd never wear makeup, or a kimono, or her style her mane. Rainbow Dash never dresses in style. Are you related to her? Nah, you're way to pretty to be related to her." Her face went red, although only part of it was with anger.

"Oh alright, alright, I've had my fun. Come here." She walked over to me and turned so I could get my claw on the strap holding her wings down.

"We barely know each other, and you're already letting me undress you, isn't that a bit forward Rainbow?" My comment was met with a quick buck to the head, making me fall over. Now EVERYONE was laughing. Rarity had come out of her store and was hyperventilating. She had tears in her eyes and was clutching her sides. Even though I had just been bucked in the head, I was still laughing.

"Feisty, I like that. Okay, but seriously now, no more jokes. Let's get you out of that. You look too good in it. If we don't get you back to your scraggly self, stallions might start falling for you." Her eyes shot wide open, then she turned to look at me questioningly.

"Do I really look that good in it?" Her face held a massive blush, and this time it wasn't just the makeup.

"Well yeah. I mean, it needs alterations so there's spots for your wings...... but other than that, it looks fantastic. You've outdone yourself Rarity. I think you should have her wear this for the Gala. You'd definitely draw everyone's attention. Too bad I'm going to have to cut you out of it." Suddenly, Rarity looked horrified, and Dash jumped backwards defensively.

"No. I'm not having you ruin my Gala dress." She sneered. "I think I'll just have Rarity take it off so she can make the..... alterations?"

"Suit yourself. Alright kiddos, let's get to practicing. We need to be ready for tonight."

"Practicing? Whatever for?" Rarity asked.

"Weeeelllllll, we're having a concert here in Ponyville, before we head out east to the colony, and finally to Canterlot for the Grand Galloping Gala, where we'll have our final show, pick up any who wanna come with, then head north to start doing our thing again. Speaking of the Gala, Rarity, do you have a tux in my size? Maybe a top hat to go with it? No, forget the top hat, I need a monocle."

"Or, you could always go in your armor? You know, the incredibly stylish thing you always wear?" She deadpanned. I gave a sigh.

"Right, shiny and prismatic goes with everything, at least this season anyway. I suppose I could use the Gala to show off my duds. Right. In the mean time, gotta go teach these kids the lyrics. See ya around."

"So, you said you're recruiting ponies to be part of your pirate crew......"

"Pip, no. Seriously. No."

"But you're so much fun!" He and Sweetie Belle defended their reasoning.

"Yeah, because I'm somewhere that doesn't need me. I can relax here. Out there, I've seen and done things that would give foals nightmares. Only reason I don't cry myself to sleep at night is because, let's just face it, I'm crazy. I am under no circumstances taking a bunch of kids with me to be pirates. Equestria is great, but the rest of the world is a scary place. It's like one great big Everfree forest. It's no place for fillies and colts who don't even know where foals come from. Besides, if I took any of you with me, your families would hunt me down, and I don't want to know what an angry Applejack looks like. I'm even less inclined to find out what an angry Big Mac looks like. So.... no. Just no. Now, you all head home, I gotta go get ready to put on a show." They begrudgingly accepted, then headed home to tell everyone about the concert, while my group met up at the stage, then headed back to the Possibility, which was now at the edge of town.

"Okay, you all know the plan. Ready to put on a show?" The fact that I had actually designed having them operate as a team to bring this together was not lost on them. They needed practice working as a group, and setting up for a concert was the perfect way to run through team maneuvers, like setting up a perimeter and stuff like that. They were all happy to do it. The cats and griffins all looked like bouncers, wearing their armor, and of course, each had a pair of sunglasses. It just isn't the same without the shades. My crew all donned our full weapons and armor. Of course, Steelhorn and the Freuds stayed on board, something about not liking crowds, and that they'd be able to hear the music perfectly fine from on board, antisocial much? Etch and Growl claimed the same, just wanting a relaxing evening. Apparently, they had both begun to drink herbal tea. Now I've got mental images of those two dogs doing things 'like a sir', that I'll never be able to get out of my head.

The ship took it's position directly above the stage, the griffins and their riders diving off the edge in a coordinated manner, very different from that first training session, a testament to their improvement. They landed and took up guard positions around the stage, giving a good five meter span between their backs and the stage edge. The rest of the cats, those without mounts, descended on ropes which were thrown over the edge of the ship, landing and replacing the griffins in their ground positions, who then set a perimeter in the sky to prevent pegasi from getting through. Ponies of all types had already began gathering around. Gilda, Trixie, Nadene, Maria, Shimmer and I flew down off the ship, all the while in the spotlight manned by Tiras. The entire crowd 'ooh'd and 'aaah'd as the light bounced off our armor, effectively cascading the stage in rainbow light. Man, we always get the coolest special effects. I spotted the mane six in the crowd, Rainbow back to normal, glaring at us with her 'equally-as-good-as-griffin' pegasus vision, or, more specifically, glaring at Gilda. I wonder why? And I saw no duplicates in the crowd either. I guess that really was just animator shortcuts and not 'changelings everywhere'. Well, that's a bit of a relief.

We landed on the stage and looked out across the crowd, several of the smaller ponies on the backs of their parents. The Cake twins, no longer foals, rather looking to be about school age, on the backs of their mom and dad. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon specifically, at the front of the crowd, also on their parent's backs, pretty much a huge middle finger to anyone standing behind them, which just so happened to be the crusaders. They looked back at them every once in a while and smiled. Wow. Dick move. They seemed pretty smug about it. Well, they wouldn't be so smug when those four got on stage and sang their hearts out.

"HEEEEEELLO PONYVILLE! Let's get the speech out of the way so we can get to rocking!"

I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night, Everlong, Carry On My Wayward Son, and many many more songs were sung, until it was time for the finale.

"Now, we're gonna do something a little different tonight. I'm gonna call some members of the audience to come up here on stage and sing with us. Hmm, let's see...... You!" I pointed right at the rich fillies.

"Us?" They screamed excitedly.

"What? No! Not you, behind you. Yeah, you four, you with the red bow, you and your three friends. Get on up here." Ha ha. Spoiled brats. They moved out of the way to let the crusaders on stage. Time for some fun.

"Now, this is a song for all you blank flanks out there, and anyone else who's sick and tired of someone telling you who you're supposed to be. This song is special to me, and reminds me of a time when I was just a little Griffin, struggling to find my place when suddenly, I realized something. Do you know what that something is?"

"What?" The crowd asked, and in my best impression of Pewdiepie, I shouted.

"I DON'T CARE! HIT IT!"

The opening riff had us bobbing our heads in time, and as the time for the lyrics started, I just about screamed into the mike, in the angriest, most spiteful, rebellious voice I could.

Tell us where you're from,
what you want to become.
And we'll say if you're OK.
Where did you go to school?
Right answer and you're cool.
Yeah, you're the kid the whole day.

You get a sticker in your face.
Information about the case,
so you know your potential.
Don't you think you can extend.
Don't you think you can extend, just comprehend.
But I don't wanna hear it,
no, it's more than I accept.

At this point, The crusaders joined in, and sang the rest of the song with us, using the most frustration their little bodies could muster. It was actually kind of cute, seeing the little kids all pissed off. This song was basically my great big 'fuck you' to everyone who had ever made fun of me, and the crusaders to everyone who judged them.

I don't care where I belong no more.
What we share or not I will ignore.
I will ignore!

We will shut you out.
We'll put you in doubt.
If you think that you're special.
We'll tell you who you are.
Tell you that you're close but no cigar.
But I don't wanna hear it,
no, it's more than I accept.

'Cause I don't care where I belong no more.
What we share or not I will ignore.
And I won't waste my time fitting in.
'Cause I don't think contrast is a sin.

What they say is...
Go back, where you came from.
They'll tell you that, but I don't wanna hear.
No I don't wanna hear. No I don't wanna hear it.
No, it's more than I accept.

'Cause I don't care where I belong no more.
What we share or not I will ignore.
And I won't waste my time fitting in.
'Cause I don't think contrast is a sin.
No, it's not a sin.

The crusaders performed wonderfully. We would all put our heads together in front of the mike during the chorus and bob our heads with the rhythm. So well, that I was quite surprised when Sweetie Belle didn't get her cutie mark. She was all super excited, saying it was so much fun that she wanted to do it again, but, when the four of them checked their flanks, still blank. With that, the concert ended, and I brought them backstage. They seemed a little down.

"Hey, don't feel too bad. I gotta say, you four did fantastic. Especially you Sweetie Belle. I think you might have a future in music. Just keep at it. *Burp* Oh! Hold on, gotta read this."

Dear Griffin Pirates,

Our deepest condolences for the loss of your eldest member, it is a sad day when the wise among us pass on.

I don't wear socks, never have, never will, but Luna happens to like her hoofed leg warmers.

At least you actually asked to come instead of just crashing it. Here's a group pass to the Gala. Given that you kept your performances tasteful on your tour, I'm quite glad you'll be showing up. Perhaps you can liven it up as my student and her friends did at the previous one. I believe the human phrase is, 'Trololo?'

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

A golden ticket floated down from the scroll, saying 'Admit All'. Pfft, like I need a ticket to get into the Gala. Hmm. Idea!

"So you four. How'd you like the concert?" A jumble of responses, incomprehensible, but all quite excited.

"That's good, because there's going to be another one in Canterlot."

"But, we can't go. How are we supposed ta get there? Mah sister ain't just gonna let me go to watch a concert."

"What if you had tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, which is happening right about the same time? Would they let you go then?" The four of them gasped.

"No way! You're GIVING us tickets? But...... don't you need them?" Scootaloo asked. I just let out a hearty laugh.

"Nope. I don't even need tickets, I can just show up and they'll let me in."

"Why?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Well, it maaaaay have something to do with the fact that I'm pen pals with the princesses, and saved Luna during the changeling attack."

"You know Princess Luna? That's so cool!" Pip had a fanboy moment right then and there. The famous pirate is friends with his favorite princess.

"Whelp. I better get back to the ship. We're staying the night, got a bit of business in the morning, and then we're headed off. I don't wanna hear anything about stowaways though, you got that? You four head home." Then hung their heads and went back to their respective families, who took them home. All of us got back on the ship, and headed to bed for some rest. We'd have a busy day tomorrow, and needed a good night's sleep.

"Mehahaha. They don't suspect a thing."

I'm Not A 'Lyre' (66)

I'm Not A 'Lyre'

"Three more days till we arrive. We'll spend a day there, name the place, probably have a nice party or something in celebration of our first colony being successfully built, then we'll head to Canterlot for the Gala and concert, and finally, head back north to start doing our job again. We've been taking a lot of time getting the best preparation we can, but it's almost to the point of procrastination now. We just get our unicorns, and then we'll be set. No more putting it off." Despite the fun we were having, I was eager to get back to the job at hand. Every day we waste, more die.

"Yep. Well, I'm hungry. Wanna raid the kitchen?" Gilda suggested.

"Sure, I'm for it."

The two of us went down to the mess hall, into the kitchen, and to the large freezer at the back. We lifted the thick steel bar locking it closed, and swung the door open. What we saw..... well, it was a shock to say the least.

"Um. Gilda?" I asked, my jaw dropped.

"Uh, yeah?" She replied, in the same state.

"I don't remember stocking live unicorn in the freezer."

There she was, icicles coming off her snout, as well as her eyes having frozen tears, shivering, using a spell of some kind as well, desperately trying to keep herself warm, was Lyra. Her eyes went wide when she saw us, and she practically dove out of the freezer, into the kitchen, and collapsed on the tile floor. Gilda looked to me and raised an eyebrow, and I just sighed.

"Well? Any ideas?" She smiled.

Lyra

Warm. So warm, and fuzzy. And snugly. I like warm. Fluffy. I rolled in bed and grabbed the pillow, wrapping my hooves around it, burying my face in it. So soft. I shivered slightly, and found a thick blanket draped over me, then felt myself being pushed further into the pillow. Wait..... who did that? I'm grabbing the pillow.... so who?

"Hey, I think she's waking up."

Who said that? I squint my eyes, trying to open them against the light. They barely open, just barely, and I spot a white blur.

"Well well, look who didn't die."

'Die? Why would I..........' Everything came back. Climbing up the ropes after the concert, stowing away on board the ship to try and find the human, dodging the cats and griffins on board, getting hungry, and finally, to avoid being caught, running into the freezer, somepony being agitated about the freezer being left open, and locking me in it, pounding on the door in desperation, spending a day and a half, maybe two, lost track, trying to stay warm, and awake, knowing that if I closed my eyes, I wouldn't open them. Being so cold, so tired, so hungry, (I can't eat frozen food can I?) as soon as I got out of the freezer, I passed out. Yeah, not my brightest moment. I CLEARLY didn't think this through all the way. That means....

Griffin

Lyra literally jumped, and if it wasn't for my powerful wing holding her against my side, she would have fallen right out of bed. Given how cold she was, I asked Geirmund and Nadene, and they told me she had to be warmed up slowly, or else the massive rush of blood to her head could kill her. Apparently, unicorn bodies are different, and on other ponies, it's actually better to heat em up quick, but with unicorns, it needs to be slow. So, the best way to do that was sharing body heat. Gilda and I both lay on our stomachs, side by side, with our wings over her body in between us, pushed up against her, keeping her warm and, now that she was awake, more importantly, still. We kept her pinned, and when she tried to use a spell, I flicked her in the horn to break her concentration, a trick I learned from Sweetie Belle in the gossip episode.

"Hey, just 'chill' out okay?" Gilda groaned at my attempted joke.

"Lemme go!"

"That's no way to talk to the ones who just saved your life. Which brings me to my first question, what THE HELL are you doing on my ship?"

"Grif, can't you see she's been through something traumatic? Give her a chance to get her bearings." Gilda scolded.

"Uh, fine, but I expect a full explanation. She's been passed out all night, I think I've waited long enough to know why there was a unicorn-cicle in my freezer." She tried to get up, but we just held her there.

"You get to lay right here till you tell me how you got on my ship." She fell back asleep, and snuggled up in my feathers again.

"Great, just great, she wants to stay here."

"It's your own fault for being such a suck, letting her lay in bed with us to warm her up."

"Change of plans!" I brought my wing in close to my body, put it under the sleeping unicorn, and promptly flipped her out of bed, making her land on the floor. She groaned as she lay on her back.

"GRIF!" Gilda yelled, quite upset.

"Hey, remember, she stowed away, at this point, I'm allowed to do pretty much whatever I want." I leapt off the bed, and landed laying on top of the extremely frightened unicorn. I put one arm to either side of her head, essentially pinning her in position under me. She looked into my eyes, with tears in hers, a look of terrible fear present on her features.

"Ready to tell me why you were on board?" I glared. She let out a sigh, and explained that she stowed away to try and find the human I was hiding on board, she got hungry and tried to sneak food from the kitchen, then got stuck when someone closed the door. The lever inside used to unlock it was frozen solid, and she couldn't get out.

"Yeah, I figured that's what happened."

"Then why'd you ask me?"

"Because, I wanted to confirm."

"So, where are we now?" The seafoam green mare asked, still pinned.

"We're over the ring sea, three days from our destination, and a half day from the next island and.... wait, you're in no position to be asking questions!" She winced as I raised my voice, and following a stern look from Gilda, I backed off and let her up.

"Well? Are you gonna come with me? There's still the matter of your punishment for stowing away on board. Once that's out of the way, we'll figure out what to do with you."

Lyra reluctantly followed the two of us onto the deck, where a number of cats and griffins were waiting. They all gave me an 'ahoy' as I came up, and I returned their greeting. They were wondering just what I was going to say regarding our little intruder, so, I decided to play it up a bit.

"Alright everyone, so, you're no doubt wondering, who the heck is this? Well, give em your name." I elbowed Lyra in the side, and she stepped forward nervously.

"Um, I, I'm Lyra." She stuttered.

"And what are you doing on board this ship?"

"I, um, I stowed away.... to, um, try and find the human on board. I'm been hunting for humans my whole life, and, I found out there was one on this ship...... so, um, did something kinda stupid."

"No kiddin. Now, there's the matter of your punishment. Normally, we'd have you walk the plank, except that we don't have one. Then there's keelhauling, except it only works if the bottom of the ship is under water, otherwise, it's just a walk on the underside of the ship. So instead, I'll give you a couple options, and you'll get to choose your punishment." She perked up at this, thinking she could just pick something easy and get out of it.

"First, we have marooning you. We drop you on the next island, and leave you there. It'll be up to you to live there, or try and escape. It'll be the same as being shipwrecked, except instead of having the wreck of the ship, anything you had on you, and anything that washes up on shore, you'll have nothing. Not too fun eh?" Lyra gulped, clearly not liking that choice.

"Two, you become the ship's wench, and all the boys, and, some of the girls who swing that way, get to have fun with you whenever they want, and I don't mean card games." I smack her on the flank so she gets the picture. A couple predatory grins from some of the crew instantly drives the thought of that choice from her mind. No way she's going to let these hungry animals have their way with her. Not that they would, most of them are already in relationships with each other, and I am totally NOT okay with taking someone against their will, part of my anti-slavery thing, but she doesn't know that. I just have to make sure she picks the next one.

"Or, three, the Tartarus drop. I'm not gonna explain it, but, put simply, it has a high chance of survival, you're free to go afterwards, and, I'll even show you the human which you couldn't find on your own, in all his bipedal glory." She was clearly liking that idea, although the name 'Tartarus drop' was still ringing in her mind, and the fact that I refused to explain it made her even more wary. Though, the prospect of having to deal with one of the other two helped her make up her mind.

"I pick number three. The....*gulp* Tartarus drop." She started shaking as I walked towards her.

"Good choice! It's really quite fun actually. I hope you're ready, because you're in for the ride of your life!" I flew up and grabbed her in my claws and paws, keeping her steady. She started freaking out a bit.

"You have to hold still, or I'll drop you...." She kept shaking, until I got us over the water.

"Seriously now, haven't you ever wanted to fly?" She tried clinging to me, but with her hooves under her, and me keeping them that way, she had no method of turning herself over to grab me. I flew her up above cloud level, which was hanging pretty low today. Seeing the massive ocean of white right below her seemed to calm her quite a bit, as she wouldn't get vertigo from looking a mile down at the ocean below.

"Well.... this isn't so bad. Kind of pretty, clouds beneath us and all, and not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. So, why do you call it the Tartarus drop?" She looked at my face, to see me with a mile wide smile. Then I sharply turned upwards into a climb, threw her straight up, then landed on the clouds. The look on her face when she realized I wasn't holding her was priceless.

"Hey Lyra! You may want to flatten yourself out! It'll prevent blood rushing to or away from your head, so you don't pass out, and you'll fall slower." She flailed, most likely failing to hear me, and I waved as I lay on the cloud layer and she fell past me, passing through it, screaming the whole way. I jumped through the hole she made and dove after her.

Interesting thing about being a griffin, we can do falcon dives no problem. When we go into diving position, instinct kicks in. We hold our breath, and all our muscles contract, sealing off the blood vessels. This holds all the blood in our torso and upper body, and prevents it from flowing to the extremities, so we don't pass out from the g-forces drawing blood away from the head. We also have a kind of protective lens, like a second eyelid, but clear, that goes over our eyes to protect them from the buffeting winds. I think pegasi have it too, the blood thing, not the eyelid thing, since RD squinted against the wind when she did the rainboom, and pegasi wear goggles when they fly at high speeds, but I don't really know. Earth ponies and unicorns on the other hand, don't have either, which is why I had her flatten herself out. She was screaming as she fell, belly flop position, eyes closed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She must have heard that, because she opened her eyes and saw me, upside down, dropping at the same pace that she was.

"Are we having any fun yet?"

"I'm gonna die!"

"Aww, but that's no fun! You should really live, because if you don't, how are you going to see the human?" I pondered, scratching my chin, while free falling, upside down.

"I'm gonna splatter when I hit the ocean!" She screamed, tears in her eyes as she awaited the end.

"Oh, alright, I suppose I can save you. Just, don't go kicking me in the face, or I'll get knocked out and you really will die." I flared my wings a tiny bit, then rolled so I was in position above her, still falling at the same pace, and locked my arms under her forelegs, then positioned myself in a dive while she was still flat, so she wouldn't pass out.

"AhahahahahaIdon'twannadie!" She screamed.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!" I wanted to wait till the last possible moment, but I remembered I had extra weight, so I decided to go a bit earlier. I flared my wings, feeling the painful strain on them as the wind tried to rip them off, we started moving forwards instead of straight down, and I pulled out of the dive just in time for the wind coming off us to kick up a spray, soaking us both. Now that we were parallel, I wrapped my back legs around her waist, and pulled up, heading back to the ship. I deposited her on the deck, then ruffled my feathers to shake off any water. She lay there on her back, wheezing, desperately trying to breathe, her heart smashing against her chest like a beast in a cage trying to break it's confines.

"Congratulations!" I called to her happily. The rest of the crew was laughing, even Gilda. Everyone knew I wouldn't have let her die, but we just enjoyed scaring her. She immediately got up and rushed to the main gun, hiding behind it, shaking in fear.

"Aww, didn't you have fun?"

"NO!" She screamed. I listened closely, then realized I heard crying and whimpering. Ahh crap, this isn't the fake crying, this is real. I probably scared her within an inch of her life. I felt a pang in my heart.

'Guilt. Go away.'

I then squashed the feeling I was getting for being responsible for the unicorn's torment, picked her up, despite her protests, and hauled her down to the mess hall, her thrashing, trying to kick me the whole time. I set her in a chair, and Maria put some tea on.

"Well, guess what, you survived the Tartarus drop. In fact, there was never any danger in the first place. To top it all off, if you had picked option one or two, I just would have thrown you in the brig till we got to Canterlot instead." Her fear was replaced with rage.

"Then, I did all that for NOTHING!!???!" She screamed, still crying.

"Nope, instead of spending the next two weeks in a cell, you get to move about as you please, and, I'll show you the human."

"Yeah right. I never should have believed you. Bon bon was right. Chasing humans is just stupid. Look what I got myself into. First, I nearly freeze to death in your freezer, and then you trick me into taking a dive at terminal velocity, all so I can find a creature that doesn't even exist!"

"So then, you're going to give up on your dream, just because it almost got you killed a couple times?"

"I..... I don't know. I can't go chasing fairy tales any more. Unless I find some solid proof, there's no point in continuing this foalish chase."

"Aha, well then, it looks like that's not a problem. You snuck on board my ship, survived two days in a freezer, and took a ride on the express elevator to hell, all to find a human, so, I guess I have no choice but to show you now don't I?" She looked up at me with eyes red from crying. She nearly died, and then I nearly scare her to death.

"Stop. Just stop okay. I know humans aren't real. All this time, I've never found any solid proof of one, and you just used my obsession to throw me around and have fun at my expense. Just stop." She hung her head. Nothing worse than finding out that everything you ever believed in is fake, then have someone torture you for your belief. Too bad she's not listening.

"You're right. Well, anyways, you're stuck on board till we get to Canterlot, unless you want to live in the griffin colony, so, I suggest you cheer up, or this'll be a long trip." I passed her a cup of tea that Maria brought on a platter, taking a sip of my own.

"Also, I have something for you. Have someone show you to the mess hall in about an hour. In the mean time, I'm gonna put you in bed. You've had a busy day."

Lyra

"Stupid stupid stupid. How could I have been so stupid? The letter, the music, when I saw him sitting like that....... I was wrong. I can't believe I just did that. I left home, everything I knew, and snuck on the ship of a bunch of criminals! Then I got locked in a freezer, and then he drops me from above the clouds. I'm gonna go home, and throw out everything human related. I don't even want to think about it, it makes me sick!" I lay in the bed they let me use, quivering. Then, my stomach growls. I realize I haven't eaten anything since I got locked in that freezer.

"Uggh, I'm hungry, gotta eat. But, he is in the mess hall too, I don't want to see him, not after what he pulled."

"Hey? You coming or what?" I heard the voice of Gilda, the one who had been nice to me when I was laying in bed. When I didn't answer, she just walked in anyway, picked me up, lay me across her back, and started walking.

"Come on, it's not so bad. So, I guess you're not an adrenaline junkie like we are. Didn't you have any fun at all? I know it's not a griffin thing, because Trixie is an even bigger thrill seeker than the rest of us."

"Right, I forgot, she's on board too. She rides him around doesn't she?"

"Yeah, in fact, just about everyone who can't fly rides someone who can. We're pretty close with our partners. I'm sorry he was so hard on you, but, I mean, you DID sneak on board the ship, and we've got an image to keep as 'scourge of the sea and sky' so it's not like we could just let you off. Actually, he went pretty easy on you compared to what he could have done." She explained as we walked.

"He said that if I had picked one of the other options, he just would have thrown me in the brig.... is that true?"

"Yeah. He's not one to just dump someone, and there is no way in hell he'd let anyone take advantage of you like that, it goes against his very being, he just really wanted you to pick the last option, so he could have some fun with you. Remember, he gave you three options, and on the third, he gave an extra reward."

"Yeah, 'see the human' I was pretty stupid to have fallen for that."

"Don't be so sure."

"Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh look, we're here!" She let me off her back, and opened the door to the mess hall, where I heard music coming from a piano. I poked my head in, and then I saw it. Flat face, small nose and eyes, ears on the side of the head, mouth that was just a line, sitting upright, two arms, two hands, wearing clothes. Oh my sweet Celestia he wasn't lying. It's a human! It's a human and he's playing piano with his HANDS. Okay! Gotta play it cool. Don't be super excited, they're supposed to be skittish, I mean, why else would they be hiding all the time? .... Can't scare him, gotta approach slowly and carefully, make no sudden moves.....

Griffin

Sitting at the piano, (my parents made me learn when I was little, I hated it, and even though I was okay, I quit, just another thing they were disappointed in me for, and also, for some reason, Equestrian piano's are easier to play, like they guide your hands or something) I saw the door open and Gilda poke her head in, so I began playing. Lyra followed shortly afterwards, her eyes shot wide as she looked at me, scanning me, and went even wider when she apparently found what she was looking for. She looked like she wanted to run right at me and pounce me, but was holding herself back as to not scare me away, like I'm a bunny or something. Whatever, just focus on the music.

She got closer as I continued to play, now she was right next to me, and her eyes locked on my hands as they deftly flew over the piano keys. I turned away when she looked at my face, closing my eyes and just focusing on the music. When the song finally ended, I opened my eyes and turned to the unicorn sitting next to me. I think I'll play it a bit, change my voice.

"Hello Lyra."

"You.... know my.... name?" I let out a hearty laugh, smiling to show off my teeth, which she immediately locked her eyes on.

"I know many things. For example, you've been looking for humans your entire life."

"So then the letter...."

"Yes, I wrote it."

"You wanted me to find you?"

"Ah, no. I simply wanted you to know that I was out here, and I'd eventually find my way to you. I honestly didn't expect you to go to such lengths to find me, especially when I would have found you all on my own. I often forget that others don't have the clarity of thought that I do."

"You have no idea what I went through to find you."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I do. What I don't know are the legends surrounding us. Care to enlighten me?"

She proceeded to tell me all about how we were supposed to be geniuses, masters of magic, and makers of incredible technology that made what ponies had come up with look like cheap toys. Basically, we're Equestria's version of the Skyrim Dwemer. I explained that we had already been to the moon, had seen the future, and, lastly, although not by our own power, traveled between realities, and that in our own, we have no magic.

"Wait.... so then....."

"That's right, I'm not a native of this universe. I was sent here by a being far greater than I, for a purpose I do not understand. There are no hidden cities of man, caves, magic barriers, or anything in this world that hide us. There are humans here, but, they are spread out, and don't know who the others are. As I said before, hidden in plain sight, even from each other."

"Wait, as you said before? But, Griffin was........... *Gaaaaaaaaasssssssssssspp*"

"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm a human, so hug me maybe?" I used my regular voice, then laughed again. She pouted angrily.

"Aw, come on, don't be mad. I told you I'd show you the human, you just never expected it to be me." She turned and looked away from me, so I put cupped my hand on her face, and rubbed her muzzle with my thumb. She shuddered, so I started to scratch her ear. She growled.

"How can you be so mean, and then so nice, and then so mean?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"Well, there's a bit of a reason why I'm here, see, although I'm not sure why, I was given a choice on whether or not to come, and I jumped on it." I pushed her away gently, and pulled up my shirt to show my scars. I pointed to them one after another.

"Knife wound, donated a kidney to save a life here, the guy who got saved, and his friends, gave me cracked ribs here, here, and here, needed surgery to fix them." I pulled it all the way off and showed my back. "Whipped by my dad's belt here, burns from having coffee thrown at me by a girl at school here. Dozens more bruises and scars that have already healed over. I had a...... bad life, although I was more of a punching bag than a person, so I wouldn't really call that a life. I guess it left me more than a little messed up." Lyra looked like she was about to puke, so I put my shirt back on, and she steadied herself. I cracked my neck, side to side, making her jump at the noise.

"Well! Now that that's over with, reverti." She watched as my form changed into that of a griffin once more. Hands to claws, feet to paws, mouth and nose to beak, eyes widen, feathers sprout, tail appears, wings grow. I threw my amulet on, and walked over to the large window separating the kitchen and the mess, and ordered a fillet of fish and salad. I sat back down, and Lyra looked like she was going to cry. She threw her hooves around me and held me close while she wept.

"Hey, what's the matter? Don't tell me you're feeling sour about my scars. Since coming to Equestria, I'm a lot happier. I've got friends and family, I get to blow off some steam once in a while, plenty to eat. Earth isn't all that bad, it just was for me. There's plenty of happy humans out there, I just don't know any myself, but they are out there. I met one after coming here actually. He was brought over as well, we had a bit of fun, and by that I mean I threw him through a wall, and he set me on fire. You know, fun? Like the fun we had."

"Human's set each other on fire for fun?"

"Well, the crazy ones do, but yeah, and they normally put each other out afterwards. Or they go skiing off their roofs, or go down a hill in shopping carts to see how long they can before they fall out, or throw beehives at each other. Then there's the normal ones who hang out, go shopping, watch movies, eat popcorn, play sports, do that stuff. And then there's the ones who hurt others for fun. I have a big problem with them, but the majority aren't like me or them. Just normal folks. It's just a couple towns, or parts of towns, are just really bad. I lived in one of them. And it's sad, but some humans kill themselves. You know something? I would have been one of them if it weren't for you ponies. Didn't know it was real, but seeing a world of happiness gave me hope for the future, and now that I'm here, and I see that while Equestira is great, the rest of the world isn't as it should be, I need to fix it."

"So then, that's why you're doing this?" She asked.

"Yep. And I've got a question..... why are you ponies so damn soft and huggable?" She must have thought the question was funny, because she laughed. She then looked up at me, and replied.

"So says the supposed predator that's softer than my mattress. I really need to get pegasus feather pillows."

"So, you still mad at me for dropping you?"

"Nah."

"Good, because we're almost there. You get to be present for the naming ceremony of the first city of the new griffin nation. This is a historic moment, marking the start of a new era. Also, let go of me. You hugging me for so long breaks the rules of awkward hug prevention, and my mate is getting jealous." Lyra let go of me immediately, then turned to see Gilda glaring at her.

"Um, sorry?" Lyra offered weakly.

"Yeah. I know he's all mushy and stuff when he's not being a complete psychopath, just don't get any ideas."

"Yeah, I was just a little emotional from, you know, almost dying, twice, fulfilling my life's dream, then hearing the saddest thing ever. I don't like him like that."

"Good thing too, because there's no way you'd be able to handle me. The only reason Gilda and I get along so well is she's a massive bitch who can put me in my place." All three of us laughed a bit, until she got a seductive look in her eye.

"Excuse me Lyra, I've got a girlfriend to take care of."

"Rules of awkward hug prevention?"

"Yeah, it's a thing. Like when hugging someone, based on the type, the hug can only last so long, have a certain amount of force, be in a certain position, stuff like that. If you go outside the boundary, it get's awkward. Comforting hugs should come from the front, have less force than the one being comforted uses, but only just, and should have a slow, gentle back rub. Crying hugs where the person isn't in their right mind should also come from the front, and should be firm but gentle, like when you wrapped your wings around me. There's a whole set of rules. The hug Lyra gave me was too strong, came from the side instead of the front, and lasted too long, making it awkward."

"Oh? So, what does.... THIS.... one mean?" She grabbed me from the side, had a wicked smile, and held me tightly so that I was somewhat restricted in my movement.

"That hug says 'I'm gonna eat you.' So, position?"

"You know, for all the times we've done this, you've always been a griffin for it. Predator-predator. I wonder what it would be like being predator-prey?"

"You want me to turn into a human so you can dominate me?"

"Hey, I'm just sayin.... It might be fun to do a bit of role play." I raised my eyebrow.

"Forma versus." Back to a human again. She grabbed each of my arms in her claws, and began flying me to our room.

"Oh no! I've been caught by the ferocious griffin! She's taking me to her nest!"

"That's right." She gave me a very slight nip in the side. "You look delicious, but it's so lonely atop the mountain, I think I'll have a bit of fun before I eat you." She grinned, I grinned back.

"Kinky."

I know humans aren't prey. We're actually both. We're predator when the thing is smaller than us, or if we're armed, and prey when it's bigger than us and we're unarmed. We're one of the few species that play both roles, and are so far apart in those roles. (Eg, Unarmed human is prey to tiger, who is prey to armed human)

Signal (67)

Signal

After being pleasurably mauled by a six-hundred-pound bird-lion named Gilda, (really, that's the closest analogy) I was ready for bed. Hey, it's tiring alright? That's the thing. I realized, as a human, I am literally helpless. Whatever spirit sent me here was merciful enough to change me into something that could actually protect itself. If I had stayed human, I wouldn't have lasted a day in this world. While during the act, it was quite a rush, knowing that this apex predator on top of me could kill me in an instant, perhaps even on accident by crushing me, yet had the care not to. She's bigger than me, stronger than me, has talons which could slit my throat, a beak designed to tear flesh, and wings with bony joints that could easily cave my skull in if they hit in the right spot, and she had me pinned to the bed. What can I say? I'm an adrenaline junkie, since I got here anyway, and that aspect of false fear combined with the passion really got my heart pounding. I turned back into a griffin before falling asleep though. Didn't want her to roll over while she was passed out and suffocate me.

That's another thing that get's me. Changing back and forth between the two forms, in my human form, just about everything is dulled down, emotionally. I know where my violent urges come from. A human with a terrible past gets mad, rants, raves, bitches, whatever. A griffin with a terrible past becomes a fucking force of nature. It takes a lot to piss them off, but when you do..... well, send me a post card from Tartarus. It's not just anger though. Everything else. Inhibitions are lessened. As a human, I was quite reserved, and built up my frustrations, but being in this place where there are fewer consequences for my actions, and in a body with a different brain makeup, I released those frustrations, and done things I could only dream of doing. I've gone on a murderous rampage, had fantastic relations with a woman, am leading a revolution, met royalty, made fun of said royalty and got let off the hook because of my wit and charm, hugged adorable ponies, and am now on my way to name the first ever griffin colony, which I helped found. If I were human, I probably would have bowed to Celestia, got a house, shut myself in it for months on end, and shuffled my feet awkwardly when I met anyone. Heck, that's what I did when Celesta saw me in human form. I still kept some aspect of my charm, but I really had to force it. Sheep. That's what I was, that's what we were. Despite wanting to do all these things, some part of us would tell us 'no, you need to settle down, do like everyone else, and fit in so you don't get picked off', and we'd listen to it. Not anymore, and it feels awesome.

"Breakfast time!" Doing it sure makes you hungry. Gilda and I got up and headed to the mess hall to get something to eat. We had slept in a bit, so the rest of the crew had already eaten, while Lyra had also just gotten up to eat. She had bed head, bags under her eyes, and seemed a bit droopy all around.

"What's the matter Lyra? I figured after all you've been through, you'd sleep like a rock, but here you look like you haven't gotten a wink of sleep all night."

"Yeah, too much on my mind." The unicorn replied.

"Wanna talk about it?" Gilda offered.

"Well, my entire life, I've had human hunting as a hobby, in between jobs as a musician. Now that I've found one...... I don't really know what to do anymore. I mean, I spent my entire life looking for humans, and now that I've finally found one, it's 'Now what?' I don't have a goal."

"Weeeeeeell. Now that you don't have to look for humans anymore, you could pursue your music career. I'm sure Bon Bon would be happy that you're done with all the human mumbo jumbo. You can do pretty much anything you want at this point. Maybe take up studying a different species? Perhaps record the creation and advancement of the first griffin colony from within it's walls?"

"Are you asking me to move to the colony and help set it up?" Lyra asked.

"Well, the spot is open, and it gives you something to do."

Lyra laughed. Not a scornful laugh, but a sincere laugh. "No, I couldn't. I've got a life in Ponyville already set up, and I don't really care for the ocean, although.... I do know a few friends from Canterlot who could use a nice getaway. Maybe I could get some of them to go?"

"Yeah, that would be good. Just tell them that it's a long term, working vacation. Tropical islands, pristine mountains, beautiful jungles, all aboard a better-than-first-class, and nearly indestructible, airship, and still coming home once in a while to visit."

The next day, we arrived. The town was looking pretty dang good. Town hall finished, a couple houses still being set up, a number of farms, a dock, lighthouse that was still missing it's light, and two airships in the distance, one large, the other small, with a number of griffins around the smaller dropping nets into the water. The setup worked well. The large ship would carry the supplies needed and house the workers, while the small one would take a crew out and catch fish, then return and store it in the larger, switch crews, and head back out again. Like that, they didn't have to haul the fish back every time, could catch more, and travel further out before needing to return. They each also had our flag on top, and painted on each side. The town hall had a mast for a flag, which was secured at the bottom. They wouldn't raise it till the town was named, and that's why we were there.

"Hello Mayor Bluebeak, we're here."

"Ah, Captain, so good to see you again. Would you like to take a tour?"

So, we let him show us around. The town was divided into sections. The center had the town hall with a bell, a market, a doctor's office, and fire station. North was residential, with wooden huts and cabins and such, while south was farming, rice, wheat, corn, potatoes, kale, cabbage, beans, and tomatoes. East was the cliff face, with the dock at the base holding all the fishing gear, and several small boats, able to hold one or two griffins tops, were sitting in a little cove. A crescent moon of sand making the waters in the inlet calm. The griffins in the cove were mucking about in the sand, gathering clams and other muscles. At the top of the cliff was the lighthouse, which also had a flagpole, but no flag. There was a barracks at the base of the tower, which had some weapons and armor in the event of an attack, although the stock was fairly low. To the west was the way down to the forest, with a large gate, and several services like a blacksmith, tailor, and craftsmen. While the pony construction crew had gone home, there were several earth ponies and pegasi still present, doing various jobs like message delivery, working on some of the not-yet-finished buildings, or working fields. As it turns out, a number of ponies actually wanted to stay and live there, permanently. I can't blame them, it's basically an island paradise. Only one unicorn though, a retired guard who decided to live out the rest of his days by the sea, watching the world go by, sipping pina coladas and writing letters to his family about the island. All the others went home, something about the sea breeze being too chilly, or the salt air being bad for their skin, or not having the comforts of home.

"Well, it looks like you're pretty well set up. Good work, building an entire town in little over two months."

"It helped that we are strong and can fly. Construction is easier when you can easily lift all the materials you need wherever you need them. A number of griffins are also apprentices to some of the ponies, learning trades, while most are fishing or gathering fruit. It's hard to imagine that three months ago we were all living in caves, half starved, cold, afraid for our lives. No matter what anyone says, you've done a good thing Captain North. Don't you ever forget it."

"Ah, ya damn softy, don't get me going. I'm just glad everything is working out so far. Also, we got a little present for you." The Possibility had the second laser cannon hanging under it by a great many ropes, and was maneuvered by several griffins and their riders onto the lighthouse. It was just a simple square wooden tower, with strong supports going through it, and some metal plating on the side. It had a staircase on the inside, which led to a room with a hole cut in the top. The gem would have a small protrusion coming out of the bottom of the gun that would fit into that hole so the unicorns could charge it from within the safety of the tower, while a griffin on top used it. It overlooked the entire town, being at the highest point and on a tower, it could fire anywhere within the city except more than 45 degrees above and below itself. This meant it could hit anything anywhere outside the town and inlet. Since there was only one way into the cove, any attackers from the sea would be forced into a choke, only to be shot down. Same with anything hostile coming from land, at the gate. Just to my specifications. The only blind spots were right up next to it. Basically, to hit it, you had to throw a wall of meat at it and hope some gets through.

"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to bring the light." Bluebeak remarked.

"It's also a defense mechanism. With the pull of a lever it goes from being a spotlight to a laser. If it's made of flesh or wood, it'll burn right up to the point that it hit's the ocean. Airships, boats, or winged horrors won't stand a chance. Not that I'm expecting an attack, but, as they say, expect the unexpected."

"I think I remember you saying 'I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it?" The mayor quipped.

"That's the phrase."

We finally went to town hall, where the mayor showed me to the flagpole. The old geezer unicorn guard was up in the tower, charging the light, while a griffin that we had shown how to use it, and a pegasus who was acting as a secondary for spotting, were up top, practicing. It was still day, so there was no need to light me up for the show. I held the rope with the flag attached to it.

"Alright, everyone. We are gathered here today for the naming of the first griffin colony on the ring sea. This is the first step towards our new lives, filled with peace and joy, and free from the terrors that we have hidden from for generations. This is the first of many, and will serve as a beacon of hope for those looking to find a new way of life. As such, it is with great joy that I name this settlement Signal, as it is the sign of better times yet to come!" And with a single, powerful pull, I hoisted the flag to the top of the town hall, as the griffin on the tower hung another flag there. I gave Lyra the honor of ringing the bell for the very first time.

"Now, without further adieu, let's PARTY!" Maria and Nadene, as well as several other griffins and cats that had taken to working the kitchen, brought down a great many cakes and pies of all kinds for everyone to enjoy, as well as fruit tarts, punch, and various other delectable foods. The griffins brought forth fish and clams, which, way huge surprise here, pegasi actually like seafood. What? I know. Apparently, they're part bird too, and while impossible with earth ponies and unicorns, griffins can actually bear children with pegasi. Again... what? It was a rather awkward conversation, especially when a pair of pegasus stallions tried hitting on Gilda, and I had to..... remind..... them who she belonged to. Etch, Growl, and Shimmer were happily eating some clam shells, which are apparently like gems, but instead of tasting like various fruit, (that's what I'm told they taste like by those who can eat them) the shells taste like salt water taffy. Well, looks like we have a new export. We could probably trade them with some diamond dog warrens that aren't involved in the slave trade, once we find them that is, if they exist at all. So, I had them take all the clam shells that were left over, and instead of dumping them, store them somewhere.

"I ate too much cake. Again." Maria and Nadene must have learned some secrets from Pinkie, because I ended up with another stomach ache, as did most of the village. Nadene learned her lesson the first time, which was a good thing because she spent most of the day mixing up potions to settle our aching guts. Everyone seemed to have fun, and Lyra showed no signs of any stress or fear related mental problems due to her traumatic experience. I wonder, do ponies have more mental fortitude when it comes to trauma? Rarity got dropped a couple miles, then tackled by Rainbow Dash at mach one, only to walk it off after. Fluttershy fell from Cloudsdale, then completely forgot about it. A human would have been traumatized for life, or, at least develop a fear of heights, they just brushed it off. Okay, so Fluttershy is afraid of heights, but that was even before she fell. I'll just file that away under the experiments-to-never-attempt-because-they'll-get-me-thrown-in-jail department.

Once we had dragged ourselves back on board the ship and said goodbye to the newly named town, we headed due west to Canterlot.

"Pirates going to the Grand Galloping Gala, this is a recipe for disaster." Lyra said with a face hoof. After all, she had been at the last one, four years ago, and it was a complete fiasco. This year was going to be even more far gone with characters like us attending.

"But that's the whole reason we're going, isn't it?" Trixie asked.

"Duh." Gilda replied.

"Remember, the entire event is cursed. It's pretty much doomed to failure from the start, so, we should fit in perfectly. We'll just try to have some fun, relax, watch the chaos, maybe cause a bit of our own, then bail before we get the repair bill. Sound good?"

Another Human? Another idiot. (68)

Another Human? Another idiot.

"Well, we're here. Gala's supposed to be today. Where should we drop you off Lyra?" I asked as we approached the city limits.

"The gate to the castle, I'm going to the Gala too you know." Then the mint unicorn pulled out a ticket of her own, and with a quick flash of her horn, pulled a floral pattern dress from her saddlebags and slipped it on, all in about four seconds. My crew simply put on our sunglasses.

"Well alright then. Trixie hop on."

"Got it." The unicorn jumped my back, and Gilda grabbed Lyra, and helped Shimmer onto her back. Nadene jumped on Maria, Etch and Growl on their birds, and the rest of the crew on theirs.

"Captain Griffin, so glad you could arrive." A pegasus guard stated from off the port side.

"Yeah, mind if we set the ship over there?" I pointed at a tower, near the Gala building.

"We'll just pass it along. Oh, I almost forgot, tickets please?" I just lowered my shades and glared at him.

"I don't need your damn tickets."

"Fair 'nuff."

Those without rides just dropped down by rope onto a landing at the castle. Once everyone was dismounted, we walked up to the doors. We all just walked into the Gala room, the guards looked like they were going to try and stop us, but I just glared at them. They swallowed hard and started sweating visibly under my gaze.

'Suckers. And, am I really that scary? I guess I do have a reputation, and am going to a formal party armed to the teeth.'

Once we were in, we split up. Lyra went down to the stage, the cats and griffins fanned out to do various things, Steelhorn looking a bit out of place, seeing as how he was so much larger than most ponies, Gilda and Shimmer going with him to ease the awkwardness, and the Freuds mingling quite well, despite their metal extremities. Trixie and I were quickly approached by Princess Celestia, and a changeling. We both tensed up, preparing to squash the bug at a moment's notice. The insect pony's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw us.

"Captain Griffin." Celestia started with a bow, although not a very low one, she couldn't be seen bowing to a pirate after all. "I thank you for your timely arrival. I'm also glad you requested an invitation, instead of simply crashing the party, although I can't understand why you had to frighten my guards to get in, did you not receive the ticket?"

"Oh, I got it, gave it away. As if I need something like that to get in. I go where I want, you ought to know that by now." We shared a quick laugh.

"I'd also like to introduce you to my new friend, Knightmare." She motioned to the changeling at her side, almost cowering behind her. He seemed to twitch when she mentioned him however, his little bug eyes filling with glee.

"This is the best day of my life!" He exclaimed. I just glared at him.

"Mind telling me why you have a changeling here? I figured after the wedding fiasco, you wouldn't be too keen on keeping them around."

"I think he could answer that better than I." She nudged the changeling forward from behind, he looked like he was about to cry.

"Um, do you like bananas?" He offered weakly. I gave him a wicked smile.

"That depends bug, whether you want them here, or ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAA BEEEYATCH!" He visibly relaxed, wiping sweat off his brow that had been accumulating there. As a changeling, he looked a bit different than the ones I remember. He had four wings, arranged in an 'X' on his back, had a strange looking ax with guitar strings, and was a bit bigger than the drones. Okay, so he was armed, but the look in his eye said it all. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB! If he's ever been in a fight and won, then I play Halo against extremely high voiced adults who have all slept with my mother.

"Seriously though, a changeling fanboy?"

"Fuck that bro, THE Princess Celestia just called me her friend! Mein gott, ever since I got hooked I've been her biggest fan!" Mein gott? Great, he's german. Don't mention the war, don't mention the war, don't mention the war.

"Right.... so, you're one of us, and Celestia is your favorite? I can't imagine why......" Troll.exe initiated. Celestia snickered, being quite used to my puns, while the changeling just pouted. Aha, he jelly! Suddenly, it was replaced with a grin.

"I even had a life size plushie of her." Oh god he's a perv.

"Do I even WANT to know why you had that?"

"You probably don't but I assure you it was not sexual in nature.... I like cuddling." BULLSHIT! We're cut from the same cloth, I know what you do with that plushie at night! I cringed at the thought.

"Am I the only one creeped out by this?" Trixie asked, quite annoyed.

"Trust me, you're not the only one."

"I happen to like cuddling." Celestia said while pouting. The changeling looked like he was about to suffer from a d'aww attack. It wasn't that cute. Man, if he knew what I've done, he'd probably die. You know what, why not tell him?

"As long as we're on the topic of cuddling, I hugged Fluttershy, and she called me soft. Any arguments beyond this point are now invalid." The human-turned-bug started to stutter incomprehensibly at the thought, and Celestia looked like she might possibly glomp me just to see if my claim was correct. Honestly? It was kind of creepy. Eager to get away from the subject, I moved to another.

"Oooookaaaaaay then. So Celly, what have you got planned? Some kind of epic prank? Planning session? Badass mission you want me and the kid to do?" The changeling then snapped out of his flutter-snuggle-thought-induced stupor, and put on an indignant face.

"KID!? I'm twenty four ya doof!" Doof? DOOF? I take it back, he's not a kid, he's a geezer. Seriously, he talks like he's eighty.

"You're older than me, yet ten times the dork. Why am I not surprised?"

"One learns fast to never be 'surprised' when it comes to Knightmare." Celestia said with a grin. Just what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Is she hiding something? Something I should know about? Seriously! What does she mean by that?

My thoughts were interrupted when the doors to the kitchen burst open, and Luna RCV'D all over the place.

"SISTER! WE HAVE PROCURED A DELICIOUS CAKE FROM MISS PINKAMENA DIANE PIE! SHE HAS REQUESTED GIFTING IT TO SIR GRIFFIN AND HIS CREW!" Why is she using that awful dialect again? It's like the comic sans of speech. Oh, right, subjects, gotta keep up with the 'royal we' and all that. A truly massive cake was wheeled in, swords and knives made of fondant, sugar that had been melted into a mold, then flash frozen to make chains, cherry filling made to look like blood, and the theme of the cake? Paint It Black. Super dark chocolate. Pinkie, you've outdone yourself.

"Bloody hell! that's the most fucking metal cake I've ever laid eyes on!" Sure pal, just drop the f-bomb in front of all these ponies at megaphone volume. I at least try to keep my language in check in front of the natives. I could see several mares putting hooves to each other's ears comically to blot out the innocence robbing sailor talk. I'm allowed to use it because I AM a fucking sailor. My ship is moored to the fifth tower!

"That.... is a damn good cake." I really didn't know how else to describe it.

"Well? Aren't you gonna have some?" Luna asked. Wait.... hold on....... IT'S A TRAP! First Sugarcube Corner, then the Pinkie-style treats at the colony...... they're trying to give me diabetes and kill me. I can already feel the stomach ache. It's a conspiracy I tell you, a conspiracy! Okay, maybe not. Still, not having any.

"Urk, no thanks Luny." I cover my mouth to prevent the gag reflex. "I've had more cake in the past few days than my entire life before being dragged here."

"Wow..... I didn't think it was possible to get sick of cake...." Celestia said, shocked at my refusal. "Can I have your piece?"

"Sure..... knock yourself out." The sun princess just about squee'd as she used her magic to get herself a slice.

The changeling walked up to me, less afraid now... more curious. He decided to strike up a conversation.

"Soooooo. You're the famous 'Griffin the griffin' huh? I guess that makes me 'Knightmare the changeling.' Pleased to meet you." He holds out a hole filled hoof, which I grip forcefully and shake. You know, the 'crush your knuckles' grip? But not too hard, I don't doubt that in this form, I might actually crush his hoof. He didn't seem too bothered by it.

'Right, exoskeleton. They're only squishy on the inside.'

"So, you named yourself after an Equestrian villain, with a K in front? Lazy ass. That's unoriginal, will get confusing really quick, and you missed a fantastic opportunity."

"What you talkin' 'bout Willis?" Must. Resist. Urge. To. Crush. Skull. Whew. That was close, Celestia wouldn't be happy if I killed her number one fan.

"You should have called yourself Chuck Testa. Just think about it for a second." He sat on his haunches and put a hoof to his chin. Suddenly, his eyes filled with realization, and he looked at me.

"You son of a bitc....." He face hoofed, cutting off what he was about to say. Fairly obvious that he wasn't used to his new body, because he would have known that even with an exoskeleton, the feet, or in this case, hooves, are the hardest part. They also have a point on them, which he hit himself on the head with. He actually punctured a hole in his own head. Everyone who saw it started laughing, that is, till we saw the pool of blood starting to form around him, at which point, it abruptly stopped the guffaw.

"Did... did he really just knock himself out?" I asked. Celestia glared at me.

"If he's seriously injured, I'm blaming you." She picked him up with her magic then walked off to I presume to be the hospital ward.

"Hey, it's not my fault he's an idiot."

"I seem to remember you telling us a story about how you jumped off a cliff, hoping your new body would know how to fly instinctively." Trixie pointed out.

"Trix, shut up."

The gala was still in the preparation stage, so I hung out with Luna for a bit while Trixie rode around on my back, making all who saw quite confused, impressed, or jealous. After a while, she brought me into a hall off to the side, where I saw none other than Queen Chrysalis. I didn't even bother drawing my sword. When she saw me, all I had to do was smile.

"Oh Luna! You brought me someone to play with! And since Trixie is here, she'll get to have some fun too!" I say sadistically, making the Queen shudder, then drop to the ground and put her hooves over her head. Yep, she remembers me.

"Yes, that is indeed part of the reason you were invited. The changeling queen requested a truce, and while she's here, we wanted to make sure she was on her best behaviour. Isn't that right?" Luna smiled evilly.

"Guh." The queen just about choked on the air in her lungs. "Just, keep him away from me."

"Aw, y u no liek me? I hadda wotta fun when we pwayed wast time." I replied with a childish grin. "Trixie, show her the leg." At my command, my rider lifted her prosthetic up to let the queen see. Chrysalis looked at her own hoof, the one I had cut off, then dug at the ground nervously.

"Well, as long as nothing like that happens again, we won't have a problem." I smirked.

"Come on Griffin, play nice." Luna scolded.

"Didn't you read the label? Does not play well with others."

"Oh you."

"Well, see ya around Queen Bee. I'm gonna go check on the moron." I wandered off, looking for Knightmare. I would probably feel a little bit bad if he died or got the brain damage, and the brain damage, and the brain damage, damn it team four star. After wandering the castle halls for about an hour, Trixie and I both came to the same conclusion.

"WE'RE FUCKING LOST!"

And Knightmare is from THIS fic over here. That one. Just clickity click the link, if you haven't read it already. And no, I'm not going to kill him for posting early. He has to go to work. Wouldn't want him to be late.

Ahoy Aoi (69)..... Lol, 69

Ahoy Aoi

"Seriously? How are we lost?" Trixie was quite annoyed.

"Well, normally we're out in the open, so I can see where I'm going. I guess griffins really AREN'T meant to be indoors." I hung my head, then perked back up.

"That's it. I'm cutting through the fucking wall till I reach the outside."

"No, you're not. We are NOT destroying the castle. We'll just keep walking and....." I interrupted her by raising my left claw balled in a fist, into the air, our team signal for silence.

"Hear that?"

"Hear what?" Trix asked.

"Someone is playing an earth song. Bet it's the pervy changeling."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Follow it."

I followed the sounds of Bon Jovi's 'Livin on a Prayer' to the medical wing, and by the presence of Celestia and Chrysalis standing outside the door, I figured it was the right place. I just walked up like I owned the place, not about to tell them that I got lost in the castle. The song is in it's final riff, and I walk by the open door.

"Dude's a puss, but he's got some good pipes." The changeling queen turns and looks at me with horror in her eyes, having not noticed me walk up behind them, and I just smirk. Celestia seems to think the queen, who so recently beat her into the dust, being reduced to a quivering blob of fear at a mere mention of me is funny. Heck, she probably feels safer with the sun princess there than if it was just the two of us.

"He's got a point you know." Celestia smirked at the bug queen, who began to pout. Twilight was in there with a measuring tape. What she was measuring, I don't know. She raised a hoof.

"I know you've got an answer." The bug lying on the bed stated.

"Breeders..... kind of...... can't fight." The purple unicorn replied.

'Wait, breeder? How does she know he's a....... measuring tape, he's lying on his back...... oh. OH! EEEWWWWW! Bad thoughts bad thoughts bad thoughts!

"As I was saying. ....I don't care what I am. I was born a human, and by Celestia's sweaty tampons I'm gonna do this the human way!" Oh dear god did he just say that, WITH THE PRINCESS RIGHT THERE?!?!?! Nope, I'm leaving. I didn't even bother staying around to see what he was going to do. I've had enough of this pervert. If Celestia knew about feminine care products, she would have blasted him through the wall at that statement. Not that I'm gonna tell her what they are, because I'd be tossed out with him. Nope, nopenopenope, I'm leaving. I think I'll go help Lyra set up on stage.

After taking some time to help get the instruments in position, all the while be glared at by Octavia for some incomprehensible reason, I noticed Prince Blueblood begin approaching me.

"Griffin! What an honour to see you again!" I looked and saw Octy do a double take as the snooty noble mentioned my name.

"Ah, I see you are well. Gilda wasn't too rough was she?" We shared a laugh.

"No, it was quite alright. After all, in the middle of being rescued is no time to complain, which, by the way, I was never able to thank you for." He bowed his head, and Octavia's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of hers.

"Well, that's enough of that. I don't need thanks. The support I'm getting from Equestria in relocating the liberated griffins is thanks enough. I do hope you'll enjoy my show later."

"Well, considering the raving revues from the rest of you tour, I'm sure I will." And then he went on his way to attend to other guests, Trixie, who was helping me, went with him, presumably to talk some more. The grey earth pony cellist walked up to me, scorn in her eyes. She just stood there for a moment, glaring at me while I returned the motion, before I finally broke the silence, and the tension between us.

"Hello Octavia." I said with just the slightest hint of malice in my voice, not that I had anything against her, but she's clearly challenging me, and in that case, I'm gonna turn my scary on. She seemed to recoil slightly before collecting herself, and finally coming forward with what she wanted to say.

"You." Or, maybe she would just be vague and not tell me what she wanted after all.

"Me?" I pointed a claw at my face.

"Yes, you." She narrowed her vision.

"What about me?"

"That awful noise you've been spreading around. Rock and roll you called it? You're not a musician, you don't even have an instrument. Magic of some kind to make up for your lack of skill? You act like some high class pony, fit to mingle with the nobility, but that's just it, it's all an act. You don't belong here, and you never will. I suggest you leave before you get in over your head." She replied spitefully.

"Meh."

"Meh?"

"Meh."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't care what you think. I might have showed you some orchestra or classical from home, if you weren't such a bitch. A shame really, there's only one way to describe the works of Beethoven, Bach, or Koh Otani."

"And what is that?" The raven maned musician asked.

"Awe inspiring" And with that, I turned to moving the drums into position on the stage, intent on ignoring the uptight mare.

As I continued working, I faced the door, and spotted a strange creature. About eight feet tall, lupine, carrying a katana on his left, and a kimono or something. He reminded me of that one captain from Bleach, you know the guy, except his fur was grey, or silver maybe, kind of like moonlight. I waved at him.

"Hey, who invited Captain Komamura to the party?" Oh, wait, nobody is going to get the reference. In fact, he seems a little insulted by it, judging by the way he ran his fingers over his blade. Maybe I shouldn't piss him off. After all, I think he's Asian, and not to be racist, but everyone knows they kick ass, and judging by the way he carries himself he enforces the stereotype. I swear, if he speaks ja'ponies' (Neighponese) I'm gonna freak out. He seemed to calm down a bit and walk off to the side, so I went back to setting up the stage. After about a minute, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

'Great, here's the freaking press.'

"Damn, we haven't even started yet and we already got a- WHOA!" Geez! When the hell did he get up here? I didn't even hear him, and coming from someone with enhanced hearing, that's saying something. Now, as a human, I was always pretty stealthy, but this guy was just short of ninja, by the fact that I could still see him.

"Are you always this sneaky, or did you take lessons?" He raised his eyebrow, which was a head above me, I came up to his neck, and then he changed the topic by asking a different question.

"Your sword, there, on your back, where did you get it exactly?" I noticed his eyes were locked on it, and, when I looked at his own blade, I felt something strange from it. Like it wasn't..... natural. As a griffin, I'm well tuned into air currents, and the air around that sword of his was vibrating quickly, like it had a permanent 'Ventus' spell on it. After realizing he was still expecting an answer, I quickly composed myself.

"Up north. Damn dragon ate me." I motioned towards Hades. "Too bad I'm chewy." I expected a laugh, or at least a chuckle from him. Nothing. Crap, psychologically, he's a brick wall. I can already tell by the way he's looking at me. Better quit the funny stuff.

"You're saying a dragon choked on you and you took it's scale?" He asked with a straight face. Man, I am NEVER playing poker with this guy. Still, he keeps his left hand on his sword hilt, as if to flick it out at a moment's notice. Instead of the face, maybe that's his tell?

"Yeah, that's about right." I paused, to see if he would give a reaction. Nutin. "Well, the scale taking was first. THAT'S what he ACTUALLY choked on, but, pretty much, yeah." Okay, what's your response?

"Who are you?" He shifted slightly, moving his feet into a different position, not to draw his sword, but to get a better look at mine. "Not everyone just takes a scale and dives into the mouth of insanity." He grinned, and held up the hand not on his sword, with two fingers sticking up. "Two emotions would be required for that: a disregard for one's own life... and rage..."

'Oho, now we're getting somewhere. Only two kinds of people think that way. Shrinks, or someone who's just like me.'

"Quite perceptive of you. I never valued my life too much until recently, and......" I paused and looked down, still never taking my eyes off his sword. "he was hurting the first friend I ever had." I looked back up. "So, I may have gone a tiny bit off the deep end." I emphasized my point by squeezing two of my claws together.

"What about you, what's your story? You seem like the interesting sort." He seemed to think for a moment, putting his hands on his hips, but never taking his left more than an inch from his sword hilt.

"... I'm Aoi... my parent's were killed... I killed the guy who killed them." Whoa. that sucks. Wait, what did he say his name was? I was too distracted by the sword, which he now had his hand on again. And now he's waiting for an answer.

"Good on ya. Trash like that needs to be thrown out... and burned." I said the last part almost in a hiss.

"Not many have what it takes to actually do it, you're okay in my book." I'm far to sick of seeing pansies who think they're tough stuff go strutting around, pretending to be a badass, but as soon as push comes to shove, they run and hide like the cowards they are. Everyone wants revenge, very few have what it takes to go through with it, and at a level of that caliber. He seemed to like my answer, and became more relaxed, and with the tension cut slightly, I did as well, before he continued.

"And I loved every fucking second of it." He chuckled. Looks like I found the crack in his wall. Time to play it.

"Of course you did, putting an end to someone like that has to feel good." I know it does. I felt like that with Carl. So, it's not lying at all. It's true in it's entirety, but I'm just letting him know it.

"I spent 20 years learning... training... and fighting... just to kill him..." He smiled and his voice became full of mirth, "worth every second..." He beamed, his claws clicking together in anticipation, as though he was reliving the moment and enjoying himself immensely.

'20 years? Even I have to admit, I wouldn't have stuck with it that long. Just goes to show what kind of a person I'm dealing with. I like him.'

"Well, at least you prepared for it. Too many people just go all willy nilly and end up six feet underground." I kept trying to get him to give a little more. I already know why he keeps his hand on his sword at all times, trained like that. He could probably kill an assassin in his sleep, without waking up. Heck, he probably had. Now, if only I could figure out why his sword feels like it's reaching out to me.

"Now, what's yours? Starting with your name." He pointed a finger at me. Damn, I was hoping to get a bit more info, although, to be fair, he did just spill a whole lot. I'm gonna have to give a little.

"Griffin, yours?" Please don't remember you already told me.

"Aoi, remember?" Crap he remembered. Oh well. He held out a hand to meet in a handshake, with his other hand not resting on his hilt, but tensed on it. He's going to draw as soon as we shake hands. The thing about my claws, is that the left and right are identical. He held out his right hand, and I could meet it with either my left or right, it would make no difference to how they fit. So, I used my left, and moved my right to my sword with an evil grin.

'If that's the game he wants to play, so be it.'

The second I took his hand, his blade flew from it's sheath and found it's way to my neck. He could have cut my head off easily, except for the fact that I had already drawn mine, which being slower, needed the head start, and found it's way to his neck the same time his blade found mine. Our swords were pressed against each other's throats, just touching, but not drawing blood. I smiled, and found that he was doing the same.

"Do you always do this to people you meet?" I asked.

"Only to those I like." He moved his katana away from me, and, I mimicked the action, both of us sheathing our blades at the same time. Also, he likes me. Well, that's a load off my mind. Despite what many people believe, I DO care what others think of me, I just don't let them know it. Time for me to press for more info.

"That.... is no ordinary sword." He just turned the topic back to me.

"I take it you're not here just for the sights and sounds, are you?" He asked. I flared my wings.

"I am one of the sights and sounds. I'm finishing up my concert tour here in Canterlot, and the Gala was right around at same time."

"Concert?" Aoi seemed to think for a moment, before digging into his pack and pulling out a newspaper. "You're Griffin from the Griffin Pirates, You and your crew are plastered everywhere."

"Aha, so you have heard of me. I didn't really want the fame, but it came up and bit me, so I decided to use it." He didn't look like he bought it, but it's true!

"But for what purpose? Money?" Then he paused, and a sly, lecherous grin appeared on his face that unnerved me to no end. "Mares?" He wiggled his eyebrows a bit. It was actually pretty funny, so I let out a small snicker.

"Money, I have plenty of, gained legitimately in fact, well, if you consider stealing from thieves legitimate. As for mares, I have my mate, and that's all I need." Ah, Gilda, like a fire, beautiful, but temperamental. And such a sweet flank.

The wolf-thing in front of me scratched his chin in thought, before getting another grin.

"Captain Griffin, is that right? Or shall I call you General?"

"No, just Captain. It's not like I'm raising an army..... yet." He seemed lost in thought again, before he finally came forward with the phrase that would send me sprawling.

"So, as my friend Keith would have called it, you're doing it for the lulz?" Doin it for the lulz? Hold on. Wait a sec. Wait just a damn second!

Horrible past? Check.

Mythological creature? Check

Skilled in combat? Double check

Human name? Keith is his friend, so check.

Human mannerisms? Check.

Human catchphrase? Triple check.

*Attempting to determine correct response*

*Loading*

*Loading*

*Loading*

*Done* Run BronyCheck.exe.

"Aoi, do you by any chance...... like bananas?" He seemed confused by the statement, and had to think about it for a long while.

'Maybe he isn't? Anybrony (lol) would have jumped on that immediately. So, then, he's not a fan, but at least heard of it?'

"I know where you can go bananas." He replied. I smiled my best Pinkie Pie smile.

"ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNAAAAA-, wait." He got me. I looked as a number of ponies getting ready for the Gala, as well as some of the early arriving guests looked at me, wondering what the hell I was going on about, and quickly clamped my beak shut.

"So, both of us are human. This just got very interesting." Aoi said as he crossed his arms and grinned.

"Definitely interesting. Well, considering the fact that we haven't tried to kill each other yet, I take it as a good sign."

"Now that we are at an understanding, let's talk." He suggested.

"Um.... we're talking right now?"

"I meant over a nice cup of tea.... or do you drink beer?" Ugh, no. Tastes nasty. I didn't like barly as a human, and I like it even less as a griffin.

"Tea. Definitely tea. Have any green tea blends?"

"I actually have some I got from someone in Ponyville. I believe you two have met?"

'Okay, so he's been to Ponyville, and met someone who drinks tea, that I know. So, Twilight, Fluttershy, or Rarity. Rarity, only on special occasions, and she'd be to busy gawking at his fashion, whether in a good way or a bad way, to sit and get tea. Fluttershy would have fainted as soon as she saw the eight foot tall mountain of fang, claw, and sword, so that leaves the librarian.

"Twilight?"

"Yes, she mentioned how you drove her crazy on your question about how ponies could grab things without fingers." Oh geez, he met Twilight! That's too funny! Although, she wouldn't have brought that up unless..... he asked her too! Oh, that's too good!

I took a minute to compose myself before explaining.

"Actually, I asked the Princess. she didn't know, so she passed the question on to her. Is she still trying to figure that one out?"

"I asked her the same question and she seemed to have a mental breakdown... I should probably avoid the topic." He hung his head a bit, not too thrilled about making her into a nervous wreck. We began walking towards one of the tables that had been set up. Since this was a high class party, or, at least, supposed to be, there were kettles of hot water kept at a simmer at the center of each, and several bags of tea in a square container. Aoi pulled out a packet containing his own tea leaves, opened it to let the leaves swim freely in the water and spread the flavour better, then left it to steep.

"Don't worry too much about it. She's brilliant to be sure, but she'll spaz if even the slightest thing goes out of alignment. She'll probably have some foul words for me when she realizes yet again that I didn't tell her how I use magic. I'm sure it's driving her nuts just thinking about all the studying she COULD be doing that she can't because I won't spill my secrets." When I said magic, he seemed to perk up with interest.

"A griffin who uses magic... what other surprises do you have?" Doesn't he have magic? The way his sword reacted, I could have sworn he does.

"Ah ah ah, a magician never reveals his secrets. People like having an ace up their sleeve, I keep about twelve or so. Even from friends." Not that I think they would, but I always have to be a step ahead of my own crew, in case of betrayal. I think I'll keep the 'Hellfire' spell a secret for now. I really don't want to use it. Mostly because I accidentally caught myself ablaze and had to dive into the ocean to put myself out. My explanation was, 'I wanted to go for a swim' and they believed it, since I've done things way more random than that in the past.

"I'm not going to lie, my prior training has helped me well in this world. One of them helped me kill a black dragon..." He left it at that, trying to tease a reaction out of me. Instead, I simply picked up his newspaper, went past an article about a number of dragons fighting over Bitsburg, and to the article of the dragon-slaying wolf at Stalliongrad. Then, I pointed to it, and with a simple deadpan I asked,

"You?"

"Surprised?" He asked while checking on the tea, then poured a cup for each of us.

"Not really, I heard about some prophecy from one of my dog crew members, then saw it in the paper, and now, seeing you, it fits. I could tell by the way you carried yourself that you were a warrior, hesitant to let his hand stray from his sword, Still, you've got some catching up to do. My draconic kill count is...... hold on for a sec." Blackie, one at the tribe, six over the ocean, and one at Ruby Hollow, that's.......

"Ah, so I see you take pride in your kill count." I couldn't tell if he thought it was a good thing or a bad thing. Better go neutral response.

"I'm at nine, and, I just like to keep track is all. I've also got a youngling we adopted on board the ship. As it turns out dragons aren't all bad. Poor kid, her mom got killed trying to protect her." Aoi coughed on his tea. I'm not sure whether it was at the mention of this kill count, or if he thinks I killed her parents.

"Who was the mother?" He asked. Definitely thinks I killed the parents.

"Some green dragon we found dead up at the volcano. Little blue dragon nestled up against the corpse, crying in her sleep." The wolf relaxed, knowing that it was an act of kindness and not a case of murdering the parents and kidnapping the child.

"I'm glad she found a family, what is her name?"

"She's Shimmer. She was named that by her mother, because her scales gleam brilliantly under both the sun and moon." I say in a poetic tone, then switch back to normal. "She's a good kid, likes to help out, brave. It's always the nice ones that fate gives the middle finger to." He nodded his head as I let out a sigh. He and I both know that better than anyone. Plain and simple. Nice guys finish last. That's why neither of us are nice anymore.

"Well, at least she has those who care for her now." He looked into his empty tea cup, while I start to drink mine, having waited a bit for it to cool.

"Who were the two Diamong Dogs you came in with?" I asked, before taking another sip.

"The silver one's Ubi, the other is Eol. They're my family now. I found a new purpose in life, to save the clans under oppression." Heh, same as me. Might be useful in the future.

"I started with Eol's clan. Believe it or not, their leader hoarded the gems for himself and offered his own clan as recompense. One of the sacrifices was Eol's father." Alright, now I'm mad. I'm really fucking pissed. Not only do they enslave others, and enslave their own kind, now they feed their own clan members to dragons so they can horde gems for themselves? That's just plain wrong. Right now, I kind of want to kill something.

"Ouch." I winced. "Yeah, a lot of those alphas are sick fucks. It hurts having family taken away, like Etch. I feel the same about him and Growl. That they're family, I mean. They were slaves for seven years, after their alpha was killed by a competitor. I busted them out, and gave them new names to show that their past didn't matter. They seem to like them. Growl is really just along for the ride, pretty much nothing better to do, while Etch is with me because he hopes that by freeing the clans, he can see his wife and pup again." Aoi looked like he was about to cry, but was holding it in rather well. We're both no strangers to pain. He was definitely trying to keep himself composed. Probably never let himself cry, concrete wall. Just like me. Then, to stop thinking about it, he continued talking.

"Ubi, his is a different story. His mother... Well....... she is, or was, a white dragon... His clan tried to kill him for being the son of a dragon... even sent a hitman after him..." My turn to choke on my tea. I coughed and sputtered, but to my credit, I didn't spit on him. After I cleared my windpipe, I finally asked the million bit question.

"He's the son of a Diamond Dog and a DRAGON? How would that even WORK?" I kept going over it in my mind, different positions, anatomy, sizes, and nothing added up. The swordsman seemed just as confused on that point as I was.

"I wouldn't know much about how dragons mature." He said stoically.

"Never mind, I DON'T want to know." We sat there for a while longer, each pouring another cup of tea and draining it before we continued.

"On a previous note, I believe that said you use magic, I take it that's unusual amongst griffins?" My conversational partner spoke up, getting back to the important stuff.

"Yeah, definitely unusual. Although there's not much about me that IS usual." Same as him, we're freaking humans in the mother bucking EQUESTRIA. Nothing about us is normal.

"Well then... It's only fair I share something equally unusual..." He drew his sword, making me want to make a grab for my own, but, he instead put in gently on the table, letting me see it unobstructed. "I think you can take a guess as to what's special about it?" He chimed.

"Well, considering the way it hummed when you had it at my throat, I take it you know magic as well?" Yep, humming, slight, ever present shine to it. That's an enchanted sword alright.

"Not really... I'm not sure of it myself, but I believe this sword has the dragon's soul inside of it." He replied.

'A dragon's soul? How the hell did he cast soul trap on a dragon?.................... Damnit! this isn't Skyrim! I haven't played in over a year and it's STILL stuck in my head?'

"Yep, that'd do it." I answered dumbly.

"Forging a dragon blade is similar to forging a katana, except there are a few adjustments that you have to make. The material is very..... unique." Wait, he made that thing himself? The way he talks about it makes it seem like he found it in a cave, sticking tip first into a rock. If he made it, how does he not know if it has a dragon soul in it?

"I..... don't know too much about that. Care to explain?"

"Dragon scale requires a higher temperature to heat before quenching, because of that, the blade ensures maximum strength and sharpness." He grabbed the sword extremely quickly, swinging it down, cleaving the table and cloth as well. The sword was so sharp, it made a clean cut, the table cloth didn't have any loose threads at all. That's damn impressive.

"That sharpness, obtained only from refining the edge of a dragon scale, can rend the very air itself." I believe it. Definitely the work of an above master level smith. Sorry Steelhorn, but this guy one upped you.

"Impressive. All I did was rip his arm bone off, jam it into the scale, and wrap it up. I had a blacksmith in Wethoof strengthen it, then I use magic to enhance the edge to that level temporarily." He seemed to be thinking about the implications of that, as well as how he could use it in his own technique. Master swordsman as well, and probably strategist. Well, he DID say he spent twenty years preparing to kill ONE guy.

"To each his own. Cheers." He says finally, after much thought.

"Cheers." I down the rest of my tea. "It was nice talking with you Aoi."

"Likewise." He drains the rest of his tea, then stands up and cracks his neck. I do the same.

"Maybe someday you'll have enough bits for me to reforge your sword. By the way, mine's named Kokuryu... what about yours?" He says as he sheathes it. I draw mine, showing it to him fully, then put it away.

"Hades. And I'm pretty sure I already have enough. How's a hundred K sound?" I offered. I really have no freaking idea how much it's worth. I hope I didn't offend him. He started doing some calculations, then held up four fingers.

"Along the lines of four million." Dayum. Well, if you want the best, you have to be prepared to pay for it.

"Man, Steelhorn is gonna have a hayday. Good thing I just set up a deal in Ponyville for gem sales. I should have enough in a month or two." Let's see how he reacts to my income bracket.

"I half expected you to talk me down, now I see you mean business, I like that..." Shit. Back on earth, he was a probably a billionaire. He's talking about four million bits like it's chump change.

"If you're as good as you say you are, then it's worth the price. I can see how finely crafted your sword is. So, in that case, money really isn't a problem. I mean, it's only bits." He smiled wryly. I can tell he likes the way I'm talking. Well, considering I just complimented his craft by going with his asking price......

"I guess sword making's my version of a painting." He replied.

"Well, see you around Aoi." And then I walked off. When I looked behind me, I saw the wolf was wearing a warm smile.

"I like that guy."

I went to go find Trixie, make sure she didn't get in any trouble, when I spotted Pinkie Pie following behind a........... well, I honestly don't know WHAT it was. It was damn ugly, and had a metal arm. To another observer, it would simply appear armored, but you know me.... sharp eyes. It WAS his arm. Surprisingly, rather than glare at the creature, the party goers were all looking at Pinkie!

'I guess they remember her from the last one.'

Then, I see Pinkie hop over to Knightmare, who was now out of the hospital, and whisper something in his ear. The creepy bug started grinning. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Don't look at me.

"Yo! Griffin!" Ah crap. "Me and Pinkie are gonna do something 'special'."

'Wait. WHAT? A perverted human, turned into a breeder changeling, who can take any form he wants, and Pinkie, who likes pontai, going to do something SPECIAL?!?!?!? Oh no. He's gonna turn into something, and Pinkie is gonna, and he's gonna.....'

A thousand images swam though my mind, all of which could only be found in the raunchiest part of the internet, and I stared at the pair with a look of intense disgust. I mean come on! You're at the Grand Galloping Gala for fucks sake! I watch as he pulls Pinkie in close........

'In front of the crowd!?!?'

Then, they backed off, and began to sing Party Hard.

"Thank Celestia, Luna, Discord, and any of the other Equestrian spirits who had a hand in preventing what I thought was about to happen." Honestly, I should have known better, there's no way they'd do that in public. Then again, it is Pinkie Pie, anything is a possibility with her, and this guy is a Master Roshi level pervert. While unlikely, I wouldn't put it past them. I think I'm gonna go lay down.

Aoi is from this fic, so click it.

Party Hard, And It's Not Even The Concert Yet (70)

Party Hard, And It's Not Even The Concert Yet

The crowd claps after Pinkie and Knightmare finish their duet, the bug approaches me and brings me off to the side.

"Um, did you know Pinkie Pie can read minds on occasion?" He whispers into my ear.

"Well, anything is possible with Pinkie, so I believe it. It would explain a lot but what does that have to do with...... No. Nononononono. She didn't. PLEASE TELL ME SHE DIDN'T!" I begged in desperation. That damn insect just got a smug look on his face, shook his head, and sighed.

"She only told me of some things that pertained to me.... You know, I'm not NEARLY as depraved as you seem to believe. If I was doing something sexual, I'd say it." I facepalm.

"Great, just freaking perfect. Not even my thoughts are safe anymore. You know what? I give up. I can't win with you people. I think I'll just fly around and kill time before the concert." I sighed, feeling defeated.

'Pinkie Pie saw THAT.... in MY head. What did I ever do to deserve this? Okay, I mean, besides the mass murder, piracy, revolution, and trolling?'

I turn towards the exit and see a black spider as big as my head hanging about an inch from my eyes.

"You really shouldn't go judging people.... I was with the Royal Guard earlier.... It's shocking what a quick training montage can do in a world ruled by cartoon physics."

"S..s...spider."

"What was that? Gotta speak up."

"Spider." Then he turns and looks at what I'm looking at.

"Oh shit. SPIDER!" He jumps backwards, as do I. I draw Hades and cut the web, dropping the arachnid to the ground, then leap into the air and pull my sword right up next to my body so I'm vertical, facing the ground, with my sword point lined up perfectly with the eight legged beast.

"IGNIS!" A pillar of fire comes forth from my blade, incinerating the fiend, as well as most of the red carpet that was in the hall. A couple ponies comically grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the remnant of the rug, while several others look at me with disdain. Princess Celestia walks up to me and her horn begins to glow, putting out the small embers that are the now blackened tips of my feathers before I catch on fire. Okay, right now you're thinking 'Major overkill'. Tell me, if you have arachnophobia, and you see a black spider the size of your head, about an inch from said head, and you are in possession of an extremely sharp object capable of spewing fire, what would YOU do? That's what I thought. Celestia glared at me.

"You burned my rug. Why did you burn my rug? I liked my rug." I looked to the side to see Knightmare glaring disapprovingly. I turned back to the sun princess, who was still awaiting an answer, as well as several other, high class ponies, who were also intrigued as to why I set the ball room on fire. She was not happy one bit, and let me tell you something, when you have a being who can turn you into an icky smear on the wall just by thinking it mad at you, well, any sense of bravery you once had is gone.

"Um.... there was..... a spider?" I offered. Her eyes softened.

"Did you kill it?" She asked. We both turned our eyes to the black scorch mark on the stone where the spider had been.

"That he did ma'am." The changeling answered. She turned back to me.

"Um.... yes." Then, the sun princess began to smile.

"Then all is forgiven." Celestia, you TROLL! As I was thinking this, I heard maniacal laughter coming from behind me, near the throne. I looked over my shoulder to see Princess Luna giggling like a mad mare.

'Wait a sec. Spider....... she brought the plastic spiders to life on Nightmare Night.'

I looked at the black spot, and found that there was a melted puddle of plastic at its center. Suddenly, everything fell into place in my mind, I lifted my sword to my side, and turned towards the laughing moon goddess.

"LUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Her eyes turned to pinpricks when she saw me standing there, with my sword pointed at her. The human/bug who was now behind me, trying to stay out of my way, looked at the midnight blue alicorn.

"You didn't!"

"She did." Celestia replied with a sigh, rather disappointed at her sister's prank, and the destruction it caused before the gala had even started!

"Uh oh." And then the mad chase began. I charged, and she began to flee, both of us flying around the ball room, me trying to catch her, and she, trying to escape.

"Get back here!" I chased the royal sister with my sword, fully intending to catch her, and use the flat as a paddle to give her the spanking of a life time. That didn't go over too well with the guard, as chasing royalty with a sharp object never does, and so, they began trying to intervene, but were held at bay by my crew. Luna dove into the crowd to try and lose me, and I went after her. Ponies darted to the sides, trying to get out of the fleeing princess and the rampaging bull of a griffin that was me. One of them slipped, and trying to regain their balance, grabbed the cake cart. The five tier cake, with its fondant swords, and cherry filling meant to look like blood, being top heavy, fell over, and landed right on me. I stopped dead in my tracks, sheathed my sword, and just stood there. All the struggles just stopped, and you could hear a pin drop in the room. Then, many of the nobility started giggling, and Octavia looked smug, having seen the brutish me being put in my place. Knightmare just laughs obnoxiously.

"Um, Griffin, are you okay?" Luna asks, dropping all pretense of regality, and opting to use a comforting voice. I pout and let out a sniffle, and she steps closer so she can look in my eyes. As soon as she's in range, I drop the act and put on the most evil grin I possibly can.

"Auntie Woona, Gwiffy needs a hug!" I say with a childish tone. I spread my arms wide and flare my wings.

"Griffin..... no." She says sternly as she takes a step back.

"YEEEEEEEAAAAASSSS!" I reply with as much enthusiasm as I can, and before she has a chance to move, I dive at her, and scoop her up in a hug with arms and wings, effectively pinning her. Then, I rub the cake off myself and onto her, smearing it all over her, and taking a big glob of it and shoving it into her face, covering her muzzle. The nobles all look in shock, and, mercifully, Blueblood begins to laugh, prompting the others to start as well. I let go of Luna, and just look at her smugly, then shake myself off, splattering even more cake on her, and some on any pony unfortunate enough to be nearby.

"I'm..... covered in cake." She states dumbly.

"Pinkie!" I call over the crowd's laughter. She bounces over, spots the confectionery covered princess, and licks her cheek to clean the cake off. Celestia had a look somewhere between 'I'm going to laugh so hard I'll have a heart attack' and 'What did that poor cake ever do to you?' Pretty much the entire room was now laughing at Luna's expense.

"MMMM! Cherry!" Pinkie exclaimed as she started licking the cake off the princess again. She looked downright embarrassed.

"Now Woona, next time, you won't go playing pranks on me. Especially at important social events." She grumbled, but then obliged, and began laughing as well. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned to see Aoi.

"I have a question. How did Knightmare play music with only one instrument?"

"No idea, although when I do it, I use magic, why?"

"I want to sing something." He replies shyly.

"Aha! So, you're finally getting in on the 'fun'." He recoils slightly, considering the fact that smearing royalty with cake is my idea of fun. "Trixie!"

The blue unicorn walks over from the other side of the room. "Yes Cap'n?" I toss her a gem.

"Aoi wants to sing. Feel like helping him?"

"You got it." She replied.

"What about you?" The wolf asked.

"I'm gonna go fly through the waterfall and wash off." I started to leave.

"Wait, how does this work?" He asked.

"Just say 'Musica a memoria', and then think what you want it to play. As long as Trixie keeps the gem charged, you can keep going. I'll be back in a bit." then I flew out. While I was overhead, I spotted the rest of the mane six, as well as the crusaders, enter the building.

'Great. Now that they're here, things will really get crazy. So far, there's three humans, the six ponies who crashed the last one, and a group of four fillies and colts who get into no end of trouble. The gala was this eventful already, and we just started it! If things keep going the way they are, Celestia will be lucky to have a castle left at the end of the night.'

After flying under the waterfall, then spending a couple minutes in some updrafts to dry off, I headed back into the building, refreshed. Aoi was done his song, and was stumbling off the stage as the crowd cheered. He collapsed, and his two diamond dogs hauled him into a different room to lay down.

'Is he..... drunk? Ha! I knew he would get out of his funk sooner or later.'

I walked back up to the stage and pat Trixie on the back. Then, the thing that came in with Pinkie came up. It looked kind of like a bear, but a lot uglier, and with a metal arm and a.... crossbow? I really ought to have brushed up on my mythology, because I have no idea what the heck he was.

"Little unicorn do me a favor?" He asked in a rough voice.

"That depends, what's the favor?"

"Use that spell on this." He held his weapon forward.

"Uh, Grif, is it a good idea to charge someone's weapon while we're at a social event, when we don't even know the guy?" She looked to me nervously. I don't blame her. We don't know the guy, and he's asking us to fill a weapon with magic.

"Well, if he tries anything, me and Aoi are here, and if things go sour, you can just claim you were drunk, so why the hell not?" Trixie nodded and lit her horn again.

"So, waht du ah say 'gain?"

"Musica a memoria. Then just think the song."

"Tahnk ya kindling." Oh great, he's drunk too. No, I'm not gonna have any. I don't want Gilda throwing me into the ocean again. I hopped off stage and joined the crowd, a look of surprise on my face when I realize that the tune is familiar.

"You can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind, cuz your friends don't dance and if you don't dance then you're, no friend of mine." Knightmare began hooting 'Whoooooo, it's the safety dance' and I just shook my head.

"Great, now there's FOUR humans at the party."

"Really?" Lyra walked up behind me. I didn't even need to turn my head to know it was her.

"Me, Aoi, the Changeling, and whatever the heck that thing is on stage."

"You mean the bugbear?"

"So THAT'S what he is. Now, have you noticed something about the four of us?"

"Well, you kind of stand out. I mean, now that I think about it, if you were all in a crowd, you'd stick out like a sore thumb, in a world of hooves!" Lyra pondered.

"Exactly. We might look like something you've seen before, but by the way we act it's easy to see that we're not from around here. It is clear how much we stick out. Wait a sec..... he's human too, so then, that means the number I know of who've been sent here is at six, and four of them are in the same place, at the same time. Lyra, warning you ahead of time, something big is gonna happen."

"And how would you know that?" Twilight asked as she approached.

"Four members of the most chaotic species in existence, all at an event which, given its history, could very well be considered cursed. There is simply NO way for something NOT to happen."

"Well, the event barely started, and you've already burned the rug, splattered the cake, and smeared it all over Princess Luna."

"Yeah, that's just the warm up."

"Ya'll call that a warm up? That's like saying bucking the entire north field at the acres is stretching yer legs!" Applejack frowned.

"I must say you've acted rather dreadful, and the event has barely begun." Rarity scowled.

"Hey, Luna was the one who put that spider there. She knew what would happen, so go blame her."

"THANK YOU RANDOM PONIES I DO NOT CARE ABOUT!" The bugbear shouted from the stage after his song ended. I hopped up on stage after he got off and slumped in his seat. Gilda and Nadene joined me.

"Okay then. Well, how are you all doing today?" I was met with some murmurs.

"Wow, tough crowd. I think I know what can really get this party hopping. I happen to know of a certain song that you can all sing and dance with me. In fact, you don't have a choice. You have to, because the song is extremely embarrassing to do by yourself. You need to have friends to do it with. Also, Pinkie Pie will love it. Get up here you crazy mare." She bounced up onto the stage, and I whispered in her ear. She giggled and said 'ooooh'. I huddled with the rest who were on stage, and once we were all ready, Trixie charged the gem.

"Let's dance!"

As we began to dance with our hands by our heads like bunny ears, the cats and griffins joined in, as well as Trixie and Gilda, that way the crowd might follow along if they saw a bunch of people doing it, rather than just one. The strange bear like creature gets back up on stage and dances drunkenly, at one point actually falling off the stage, Knightmare sings, Celestia looks amused, and Luna is still trying to get cake out of her ethereal mane. The CMC and Twilight are dancing as well, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash looking embarrassed and standing around awkwardly, and Pinkie is having a blast with us on stage. Eventually, we got most of the crowd doing it. After what has already happened, what further shame could come from some harmless Caramelldansen?

Drawn by the music, Aoi stumbles back into the ball room, a heat flushing his face from the alcohol, and then, he spots Rainbow Dash. She's wearing the Gala outfit Rarity dolled her up in back in Ponyville. Red, leaf pattern kimono, hair in a bun with chopsticks through it, some blush, and a hint of eye shadow. She definitely looks pretty. She's trying to avoid being seen, clearly nervous about her choice of attire, as well as the song.

'Wait a minute, Aoi is from Japan, and Rainbow is dressed up in classical oriental style, and is gorgeous at that.... OH HO! I see what's about to happen. Go get her wolfy.' I smile deviously. This couldn't have turned out better if I had planned it.

What Shall We Do With A Drunken Bugbear? (71)

What Shall We Do With A Drunken Bugbear?

The overly happy song ends, and several ponies laugh at the silliness of it all. Pinkie is dancing with that ugly thing she came in with, Aoi is dancing with Dash, (Go get her!) and I finished my dance with Gilda. I hop off the stage and let the band take over for a while. They begin playing a slow dance song, and I offer my claw to my mate.

"Shall we?" Gilda gets a faint blush, grabs my hand and pulls me in. We cross our necks and begin to dance in circles as the song plays, gently rubbing our feathers against each other. I have no knowledge of griffin dances, so, I just adapted the human slow dance to something that needs both it's arms to stay up. She rests her head on my shoulders, and I, hers. As we turn in circles, I see Aoi and Dash slow dancing as well, and Knightmare doing the same with Celestia.

'Lucky bastard. I bet he's just living it up right now. Oh well. I guess he deserves to be happy too, right? I mean, I've got my special someone, and she's amazing.'

"We should really do this again sometime." Gilda says, interrupting my thoughts.

"Are you going soft on me?" I chuckle, and she steps on my hand, then gives a wicked grin.

"Not on your life." Then, it fades to a warm smile. "But, at the same time, this is nice too, you know?"

"Yeah, I got ya. Can't be awesome all the time. Sometimes you just have to be....... nice?"

"Yeah."

"Well, song's almost over. I should get ready to play the next one." She smiles.

"Stuck up nobles won't know what hit em."

"They aren't so bad, I mean, they danced to Caramelldansen for fuck's sake. Actually, you know what? I'm kind of hungry. Maybe we should get something to eat first?"

"I'm for it."

We walk over to the food tables, and I spy plate after plate of the highest society food there is. Caviar, hor 'd'oeuvres, those teeny little whatchamacallits..... all garbage. Where's the REAL food? Aha! Hello Applejack!

"Apple pie, apple squares, apple juice, apple tarts, apple butter, apple fritter...... where do I begin?!?!" I gaze over each of the absolutely delicious treats, eyeing them greedily. What can I say? I liked fruit before, and I'm part bird now. It is my good fortune that she decided to try and sell her wares this year as well, even after the disastrous failure last time.

"I think I'll just have a square or two." Gilda said, not really caring.

"I'm getting a slice of pie."

"Say pardner, not that ahm complainin but, why you comin to eat mah apple stuffs when they got all that fancy food over thar?" The earth pony asked.

"Food? Where? I don't see any food over there. I'm not sure why, but those nobles are all eating trash. They don't know what they're missing. Oh well, more for me!" I take a slice of pie, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and drizzle some apple butter on top of it, and Gilda takes four apple squares, then I pay her all of five bits for it. Her prices are really low... probably hoping to attract business.

I notice Aoi walk up behind me, with Rainbow Dash in tow. They've really taken to each other it seems. *Evil laugh* Good, goooooooood.

"Oh, hmh Aoir, yerr gumma trah derse struff!" I say with my mouth full.

"Oro? Gummies in the stuffing?" The wolf asks confused. Gilda smacks me on the back of the head for not showing more tact. I swallow hard and take a deep breath after nearly choking, then rephrase.

"I said you gotta try this stuff Aoi, it's really good. Made from the best apples in Equestria."

"Best apples?" He asks.

"THE best apples in Equestria, the only place that grows them. So, pretty much, you won't find better apples on this entire planet. They're definitely better than the ones back home." Applejack blushes at my blatant flattery. Hey, it's true alright? Ever eat an apple and think, 'Wow, this is superb? So juicy, and crunchy, and sweet, and a tiny bit bitter, but not too much, it's just perfect'? Guess what. That apple may as well have come straight from the trash bin compared to a Sweet Apple Acres apple.

"I'll take your word for it....." He says cautiously.

"Want a sample?" Aj passes Aoi a small sliver of pie. He slowly puts it in his mouth, closes, chews, and suddenly stops. His eyes shoot open and have a little sparkle in them, his muscles twitch, and he gets this look, one that says 'I hunger'. It's a good thing nobody is going to stop him from getting these treats, because if they try, I'm not entirely sure that he would refrain from cutting them down.

"I have a sweet tooth. Two apple pies please." He says after calming himself. He drops twenty bits on the counter, twice the cost of the pies. He takes a deep breath in through his nose, savoring the aroma. He then looks and me and nods, then nudges me, as if to say 'If you want more, you better buy it now before I eat it all.' I drop my own twenty bits on the counter, and take two pies as well. One for me, and one for Gilda. We go sit down, and each eat our purchases. Aoi just about inhaled his, finishing both in the time it took me and Gilda to eat one each.

"Well Captain, looks like you were right... these are the best apples I've ever tasted." Aoi states, then points his thumb back to Applejack's cart. I nod, and we leave our table to go get more.

"I'm telling you Aoi, they're seriously missing out."

"Are we the only one's here?" He asks. Applejack, seeing us return, has a smile of warm satisfaction on her face. I look around, and I see the thing that was with Pinkie earlier looking at the other food tables, and snort in disgust.

"Hey you! Bear-thing. If you're looking for food that isn't garbage, the apple cart is over here!" I shout to the disguised human. I mean, after singing the safety dance, what else could he possibly be?

"I'm not a fucking bear! IM A BUGBEAR! ASSHOLE! Oh wait..." And then he facepalms. Wooooooooooooow. Pretty dense. He begins walking over, and I turn back to Aj.

"Well shucks, you folk sure do seem ta like mah apples. Here! Try tha strussal." She passes me the tray. I inhale deeply, taking in the scent. Apples, rich cinnamon, icing......... a hint of lemon? Oho! Someone decided to get fancy.... in a good way!

The bugbear comes over, and begins looking around at the apple cart, until Aoi literally crams a fork into his mouth.

"Just eat it already, before it's all gone." The orange pony working the stand just about coughed when he said 'All gone'. She's clearly in disbelief, thinking we won't really eat it all. Oh how wrong she is.

"What is this?" The bear asks.

"It's an apple tort. Here, try some." She stuffs it into his face, and he seems to not mind at all. He chews and swallows.

"Little earth pony, what is your name?"

"Ahm Applejack."

"How much each?"

"Uh... two bits?" He reaches into his bag.

"Here's five bits, for one."

Aoi places another thirty bits on the counter, and Aj hands him some more goods. At this point, he doesn't even care what they are. Then the other dumps a load of bits and starts taking more.

"Whoa whoa whoa Hold on! Ah can't keep up that fast, y'all are gonna have ta line up, one at a time so I can get tha orders straight!" Applejack says, with a mile wide smile on her face.

"Yes ma'am!" We call out at once. Then, I get a bright idea.

"You know what? Screw it. Here's three thousand. Gimme the whole damn cart. Come on guys, let's eat!"

"Wait what?" Aoi says dumbfounded.

"The whole thing? The hell I wanted some more!" The bugbear says angrily. Applejack gapes in awe as I drop a bag of bits in front of her and take her cart away, motioning to my fellow humans to follow as I wheel it out to the courtyard.

"Moron, it's for ALL of us. Saves time standing in line. Don't worry about it, it's on me."

"But....... all the stuff on there was only worth two thousand......"

"For food such as this, I would have gladly payed triple. After all, that's what it's worth. Besides, he has more money than he knows what to do with at this point, and more coming to him. Just take it and don't ask questions." Aoi states before following.

"Aoi, bugbear, let's eat!"

"You really bought the whole cart......." They say in shock.

"What? Something the matter? I'm sharing, what do you care?" Aoi, .... the other human who still hasn't dropped his name yet, Trixie, Gilda, Nadene, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and I all sit in the courtyard to eat. I hear a scream coming from within the hall, and turn to see Knightmare clawing, trying to get out, being held in place by Chrysalis.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT MEEEHEHEHEHEEEEE!!!!!" He cries, clearly wanting to sink his teeth into my purchase by the way his little bug eyes are locked onto the cart. The queen then starts explaining that changelings feed on love, yaddi yaddi yadda, normal food will kill you, blah blah blah.

"Ha! This is too good! You finally get to Equestria, and you can't eat anything! No Sweet Apple Acres food for you!"

"YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE, GRIFFIN THE GRIFFIN! A COMPLETE AND UTTER ASSHOLE!" He shouts as he is finally let go, then just sinks to the ground and sits there, in defeat. The most delicious food in any universe, he's sitting right next to it, and if he eats any, he'll die. I can only imagine what is going through his head right now, and every bit of it is hilarious.

"Don't care!" I flip him the finger and cackle before I continue to chow down with the rest of the group. I swear, I think I saw a single tear fall before he collected himself. Really, I could turn us all back human for a little bit, that way he'd at least be able to enjoy this..................................................... NAH! Wow, I really AM an asshole, aren't I?

We ate in piece, Aoi's companion.... Ubi? The son of a dragon, was literally crying as he ate the apple stuffs. Probably had never tasted something so good in his entire life. There was a fair bit of conversation among everyone, except for me, as I had just about tuned out the world while I was eating, focusing only on the intense flavour assaulting my taste buds. Then, I notice the human who has yet to be named looking at me confused, and considering he's not the sharpest light bulb in the shed, I decided to talk first.

"Sooo, Bugbear....."

"My species is bugbear, not my name asshole!" And now I regret being nice to him. Probably going to wind up kicking his ass before the night is over. His breath also smells extremely of alcohol, to the point that I'm starting to wonder why he isn't dead.

"Well then, what IS your name?"

"Celt. You're Griffin right? Some kind of big shot?" He replies.

"Yeah......"

"Celt, glad of you to show up... I thought you weren't into high society type socials..." Aoi asks. Great, he knows him too.

"How long you been in Equestria?" I bring the conversation back around, hoping to pump him for info.

"I'm here for a reason and did Aoi tell you I was human?" He slurs. I asked WHEN not WHY.

"No, as soon as you said, 'You can dance if you want to' I figured it out. By the way, do you like bananas?"

"No, no no no. You are not making that joke with me, I already got blown outta one building today from dat stupeeeed line." I give a slight laugh at the thought.

"What the hay is with you aliens and yer bananas?" Applejack asks, having come out with us. I really need to start paying attention. That's TWICE today that someone has snuck up on me.

"Internet." Celt, Knight, and I deadpan. She just shakes her head. Knightmare sighs.

"Chrysalis says the only thing safe for me to have is the punch, and some fucktard spiked it, so I can only have one cup. Any more and it's fatal. I can't have solid food at all, and I'll get wasted from a single drop of alcohol." Celt just laughed at him, and Aoi started looking around, not nervously, but searching for something.

"For once, I can honestly say it wasn't my fault." I laugh at the plight of the changeling. He's like that one kid at school that nobody beats up, because he pretty much does it all on his own. Now, I don't like bullying, after all, I was a victim of it, but this guy just keeps setting himself up. Its like laughing at Jackass. They're hurting themselves, and it's funny to watch.

"So, let's see, Aoi, Echo, Celt, Knightmare, Carl (Deceased) and myself. Six humans. Knight can't have any booze or he'll die, and I can't have any or Gilda will kill me. Echo is who knows where, Celt is wasted yet still standing somehow, and Aoi, judging by the way you're wobbling, you've had some too am I right?" The wolf nods, and Celestia comes out to check on us, staggering quite a bit.

'Oh hell. Don't tell me the immortal goddess who could make us all smears on a wall by looking at us is drunk. This could be very VERY bad.'

"Princess Celestia...... are you drunk?" Applejack asks in disbelief.

"Lord Fester and I have had....." She begins to count. "....... a case and a half each of 'The Royal Pink'. It's not hitting hard yet but it has a delayed effect. We're going to have unimaginable hangovers by dawn. Since this is the first time I've ever been able to get a buzz, much less be part of the party instead of greeting everypony, I maaaaaaaaay have gone a little overboard."

"Um, who's Lord Fester?" Trixie asks, and Celestia points to Celt. Knightmare and I just start laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Lord Fester? *Snicker* Addams family much?"

"I loved that show!" The changeling adds.

"Oh and Griffin the griffin is sooooooooooooo imaginative." He replies, getting defensive.

"Hey, it's my REAL name."

"Oh? And how do you know my name isn't Lord Fester?"

"Because it's ridiculous!" Knight starts buzzing his wings to a familiar beat, while I snap my fingers.......claws together at the right time, and we sing the theme song to the hit T.V series.

"Buhbuhbahbum! *Snap snap* Buhbuhbahbum! *Snap snap* Buhbuhbahbum, buhbuhbahbum, buhbuhbahbum, *Snap snap* They're creepy and they're cooky, mysterious and spooky, they're all together ooky, the Addams family!" We sing, causing much annoyance to the metal armed creature in front of us.

"I so want to shoot you both so bad right now." Celt pouts.

"Yeah, you're so drunk I'm surprised you're not dead, and I haven't got a drop in me. That will only end one way." I put my hand to my sword hilt.

"Ha! I got a surprise for you amigo! Not even your sword can cut my arm, it's made of Uru." He laughs.

"Is that so?" I draw Hades and rest it against the metallic limb. "Lacero." I draw the blade across, holding it up so it doesn't sink too deep, and it leaves a very clean slice in it. Lucky for me, I had learned a while ago how to only use a part of my sword's charge, meaning I don't waste magic on overkill, and I can use multiple, weaker spells should the situation call for it. It would be hard to explain to a bunch of ponies why I was drinking blood.

"Uh, what? That's new......." I merely chuckled at the confused look on his face. Your sword can't cut my arm. Yes it can. You suck.

"Dragon scale, magic enhanced edge."I explain as I sheath my blade.

"Aw man! Imma tell Loki his indestructible arm is bullshit!" Wait. Did he say Loki? As in Norse mythology?

"Loki, as in the trickster god, as in earth's version of Discord? You mean you actually KNOW who sent you here?"

"Yeah, I had a talk with him." Celt replies while looking at the cut in his arm like it's cancer or something.

"Damn it. I'm still looking for the guy who brought me here so I can buy him a beer. So Knightmare who was brought by Celestia, Echo who was brought by Discord, and you, who was brought by Loki." Celt pulls out his stringless crossbow from before, and shows it off.

"Just so you know, I can do magic too. Vis." A brown bolt appears on the bow, he aims at a tree, fires, and the tree splinters into little bits. He smiles as if he just showed me the most amazing thing ever.

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't be carrying a broken weapon around for no reason." I deadpan, not giving him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of me.

"He he, made a stallion eat a fire bolt." He laughs sadistically at the memory.

"Are you sure you should be saying that with the Princess right behind you........ swaying drunkenly?"

"Looks like the booze finally kicked in. He was a criminal anyway." He states. At which point, the sun princess wraps her forehooves around me from behind and starts nuzzling my neck feathers. It was creepy. She broke rule number one of awkward hug prevention. Unless its a very special someone, behind hugs are weird as hell.

"Oh, you weren't lying.... you's soooooooooooo soft......" She looks like she's about to fall asleep and use me as a pillow. I jerk out of her arms and she falls flat on her face.

"Why you do that for? I jus wan cuddles....." She pouted and got teary eyed. I grab Knight by his horn and throw him into her arms. She glomps him, and he's enjoying every second of it. Of course, he's a changeling. He eats love.

"Here! Cuddle with him!"

"I like cuddles, too!" He hugs her back, entirely sincere in his voice. Trixie, Nadene, and Pinkie laugh, while Gilda sticks her tongue out and points at it as if gagging. We continue like that for a while, eating our food.

"Goodness princess! Ya'll are REALLY drunk! Ah better get ya away from tha party. We can't have Canterlot seein ya like this!" Applejack suggests, seeing as how the princess isn't just 'A little tipsy'. Celt suddenly stops what he's doing and stares off into space. Knightmare slowly walks up and pokes him, making him fall over.

"And it finally kicked in."

"Why does the ground hate me?" Celt asks nobody in particular. Everyone laughs.

"Ahm serious! If the press finds out that tha princess is drunk, it'll ruin her image! We gotta get her somewhere she can sleep off this drink!" The earth pony yells, upset that she's being taken lightly.

"Oh lighten up AJ, it's a party!" Dash pipes in. "Speaking of party, um, Aoi, um, do you want, I don't know, um, to dance again?" Dash is acting as shy as Fluttershy around him. She CLEARLY likes him.

"Sure... know anything upbeat?" Aoi asks Knight and I.

"I've got the perfect song, but first we need to get Celt and Drunk-lestia to some beds. I don't know the castle layout too well, and I've gotta get set up for the song so, do you wanna take her?"

"Might as well." Celt leans on Applejack, while Nadene, Gilda, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash lift the collapsed alicorn and bring her inside around the back, to avoid the crowd. I head inside and see the orchestra playing, and I tell the conductor that I'll be taking the next song. He nods, and prepares to finish up.

The group walks back in, I assume having successfully gotten their charges to beds, and the song comes to an end, prompting me to hop up on stage with my group to get ready to play the next one.

"Hello Canterlot! How are you all doing tonight? A bit crazy eh?" The crowd has almost nothing to say to this. Almost. Of course, there is ALWAYS a heckler.

"What kind of a party is this? This is supposed to be an event of sophistication! Not........ rough housing!"

"Ah, come on, we're just..... 'horsing around'." Peals of laughter from the crowd at my pony pun. Knight buzzes up to the mike.

"What can we say, we Humans are 'All the Buzz'!" I smack him over the back of the head, knocking him off the stage. He groans.

"I think I just got pun-ished." I scowl at him.

"Dude, they don't know what we are! Way to blow it!" I whisper. The crowd looks at me, uneasy. "Sorry folks, just disregard him, he's an idiot." They seem satisfied at this, and Lyra passes me a wink. The idiot changeling blows me a raspberry then trots off looking for something to do. I let out a sigh.

"So, since you want something a little classier, I'll start with some swing music. I hope you like jazz. Let's dance!" And so, we all grab our partners and begin to dance to the beat. Aoi grabs Dash by hooves. She catches on instantly and lets him lead, the two of them look stunning in their attire and light up the dance floor. Soon, instead of paying attention to us, all eyes are on the wolf and mare in the middle of the floor. They stomp their hooves in time to the beat as the pair dance.

'Well well well. Looks like those two are popular. Where'd he learn how to dance so well?" He sweeps Dash under his legs, twirls her, and tosses her into the air. She uses her wings to catch air time before falling back down, laughing the entire time. They continue stepping in time with the music, and the crowd is cheering them on. I turn around to see Octavia glaring at me, so Trixie, Gilda and I all pull our eyelids down and stick our tongues out, then get back to dancing.

The song ends, Aoi and Dash finishing with him tossing her into the air, doing a back flip, then catching her in his arms. He looks into her eyes, I whistle and motion for him to go in for the kiss...... He doesn't. Instead, he just sets her down, and her coat almost turns entirely red from the blush, but not from embarrassment.

'Dang. So close. Almost had them. Wait..... that's Celt. He should be in bed sleeping off his drunkeness? What is he doing here?................ Punching a noble apparently.' The unicorn stallion falls over with a bloody nose. It looks broken. Okay, time to break this up.

"What the hell is going on here? Shouldn't you be lying in bed, sleeping off your stupor?"

"I hash a earth pony to find and punch. Friggin bucked mah head." Let me guess, Applejack had to knock him out? Aye carumba.

"You're ruining the party." I draw Hades. "Don't make me knock you out."

"I ish nert aferd a yooooooo."

"Hey, Celt, calm down..." Aoi tries to get him to stop.

"You dont shcare me." I shake my head in disappointment, then look him straight in the eye.

"Come at me bro."

Then, Knightmare comes in and stands between us. Bad idea. But anyway, it stops us for the moment.

"Celt, you're drunk. Griffin, YOU'RE insane. Keep all bickering, death threats, and battles for the fate of existence OUTSIDE the ballroom okay?" Celt gently smacks him to the side. We both turn and look at him.

"Shut up, nobody likes you." He scuttles away in shame.

"Ignis Vis" I turn and notice a reddish brown bolt appear on his crossbow.

"YOUR ALL GUNNA FUCKING BURN!" The bugbear shouts before he fires. He laughs as the bolt approaches me. His laughter stops however, when I deflect it with Hades, sending it through a stained glass window, shattering it.

"Shit..." He looks dumbfounded at the fact that I just sent his explosive shot away. What was he thinking, using a fire bomb indoors, surrounded by flammable objects? Riiiiiiight. He's plastered.

"You just bought yourself a one way ticket on nighty night airlines!"

"Um, well, you see, I'm sorry?" He says, hoping it will convince me not to beat him senseless. It doesn't work. I bash Celt with the side of my sword, screaming with the strain as I do so, causing a loud *Pang* to resonate through the building as my blade collides with his metal arm.

"Ventus!" A gust blows through the hall, aiding his flight, and knocking off several hats in the process. He goes straight out the window we just destroyed, and I hear a splash as he lands in the resevoir above the waterfall. I sheath my blade and address the crowd now looking at me in awe.

"Sorry about that folks. Back to the party!"

Shit, Nice To Meet You, I'm Fan. (72)

Shit, Nice To Meet You, I'm Fan.

"Seriously. It's just one thing after another today. See Gilda? I told you the gala was cursed." She just laughed.

"Well, it was fun right? You made that guy FLY."

"Yeah, it was pretty funny. Well, let's have some more 'fun'. Maybe play some more music, dance a bit?" She smiled warmly. Man, I love that smile. Its like she's happy, yet plotting, and then there's just a tiny hint of lust in the undertone, and all the while, brimming with confidence.

"Sure."

After a bit, I noticed a scuffle coming from on stage. Octavia, making sounds of pain, with Knightmare standing on top of her, making grunts.

'Oh come on! Really? No. Hold on. Maybe it's not what it seems. Yeah. It's definitely NOT that.'

"Get your hooves off me you brute!" Or, maybe it is.

"As soon as I get you untangled from my guitar strings. You can't do it yourself, you'll just get burned again." Or, maybe it's not. I really hate this guy. He's like that annoying kid that won't shut up, and you just want to hit him, and he's a perv on top of it, so now whenever he does anything, even if it's NOT something dirty, I'm gonna think it is. He finally got the snooty earth pony unsnared from his lightning guitar strings, and proceeded to show her how to play. She strummed a bit of a metal riff, then put it down, seemingly unimpressed. Then, the bastard changeling walked up to the microphone, and did something soul shattering.

"Hey everypony! I'd like to play a song in honor of our resident badasshole, Griffin the griffin!"

'No. No. No. No. No. Nope. Natta. Nein. Neit. Non. Nicht. No. Nononono.'

"We all know what happens on the outside, but what's on the inside of his head? I have a pretty good idea, and now I'm going to share it with you all." That bastard changeling proceeded to play the most feminine, sugar coated, six-year-old-girl-iest song I have ever heard. I.... I don't even have a name for what that is. The audience began to laugh. LAUGH. My group didn't, as they weren't impressed. The mane six laughed, even Fluttershy was wiping a tear from her eye. He even had Vinyl use a spell to show what was going on in his head, and he showed an image of me skipping through a field of flowers and lollipops, spreading sparkles everywhere.

'That's it. I don't care if Celestia gets mad. I am going to make him cry.'

The song ended, and I stormed up on stage, grabbed him by his coat, and lifted him up.

"Just what the FUCK was that?"

"Uh, meet the pyro?"

"What." I deadpanned.

"Valve finally released it."

"You've got to be kidding me. Do you have ANY idea what you just did to my image?"

"Mauled it like a cat does a baby bird?"

"And do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you?" I glared.

"Um....... see previous?" He gulped.

"Hmm. No." He seemed to relax. "I think I just won't help you with your 'unable to eat real food' problem."

"What do you mean? How could you help with that?"

"Well, I know magic, and I maaaaaaaaay just happen to know a spell that can toggle between our true forms and what we are now. Not only do I have the power to expose us all, and rob us of the powers we possess in our Equestrian forms, but if I were to turn you human, you could eat the left overs from the Sweet Apple Acres cart, and even have some alcohol too, but, after that little stunt, I don't think I'm inclined to help you."

"And WHY didn't you mention that EARLIER!?!?!?" He screamed. Got him.

"It must have slipped my mind." I put on the best trollface I could, and judging from the fact that his face turned red, and he literally had steam coming out of his ears, it was working. I was still holding him by his jacket, as he wound up to punch me.

"You mad bro?"

Just as we were about to fight, (a fight that I had been looking forward to for a while, considering I know that I can beat this poor fool into the pavement, he deserves it, and if I can get him to start it, I'll have an excuse), the doors to the hall fell off their hinges, and the guards standing in the way were sent flying. I ducked just in time for the unconscious, armored body of a pegasus to fly over my head. I dropped the changeling, and turned to see what had caused it. A lizard thing, fairly tall, black, wingless, with glowing purple eyes and blue lines running all over it's scales. It looks like a dragon, but doesn't have wings, kind of like Spike. It's taller than Shimmer though, who's wings are budding. Behind it is an armored pony, with a two handed sword on her back. None of her features are visible through the armor, only the shape of the steel hinting at the gender.

The dragon stomped up the charred remains of the red carpet, Knightmare and I jumping to either side of it and drawing our weapons, Aoi slipping in behind and pulling something from his clothing. We watched as it walked right up to us.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" The idiot changeling asked. I wisely chose to keep my mouth shut and observe. I have no idea what it's capable of, and I don't want to get smacked around for mouthing off. It ignored us, and walked towards the throne, where Luna was sitting.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" He picks up a chair and throws it at the dragon. It shatters on its scales, and it doesn't even seem to notice. It walks up and looks the moon princess straight in the eye, then balls its hand into a fist, winds up, and delivers what, if it had been on a non immortal, could only be described as a bone shattering punch, straight to the muzzle. If it had been anyone else, they'd be missing their skull.

"What the hell!" Knightmare shifts into a cat-like form, then charges. The attacker grabs Luna, who is attempting to charge a spell, by the horn, and uses her like a baseball bat to send the changeling right back to us, Aoi catching him with a thud and an oof. He turns to charge again, but I put Hades in his way.

"Hold on idiot, look." The dragon grabs Luna, throws her into the ceiling, and as she falls, jumps on top of her, and stomps her into the floor, then through it, a number of thuds telling me that they're going through several floors.

"If that thing can do that to the princess, just what do you think you'll be able to do?" He paused, then changed back to his normal, bug form, sighed, and hung his head. Then, he looked up, and I saw a glint of determination in his eye.

"Alright, fine, but then we're at least planning on how to beat it when it comes back."

"Hey, Gilda. Get the crew together, and help them evac this place, it's going to become a battlefield pretty soon. Keep the civvies safe alright?" We three humans got into a huddle to go over what we knew, while my team worked to calm the ponies who were freaking out, trampling the room, and get them out of the danger zone.

"Alright, so, it's a dragon of some kind, and the scales are black. That means it's going to be hard to cut through. That pretty much counts you out on hurting it Knight. It's also small and fast, judging by the way it's thrashing Luna, so, I might be able to hurt it, but I won't be able to hit it. That leaves you Aoi. You're fast enough to hit it, and strong enough to actually deal damage. Also, the glowing eyes and blue lines, that's magic if I ever saw it. It's using spells, and since it's a dragon, it has a near unlimited reservoir for magic."

"You do realize that, considering what it's doing to Luna, trying to get close will pretty much be suicide right?" Aoi deadpanned.

"Which is why we're playing distraction. You're stealthy. Knight and I will get it's attention, then you sneak up and get the kill shot. You'll only have one chance, because it won't fall for it again. Screw up, and we're all dead."

"I still hate you, you know that right? Once she's down for the count, it's gonna be you and me." Knightmare scowls. "Will bullets work on it?"

"The scales are harder than diamond." Aoi points out.

"Okay, no bullets. Plasma cannon?" He offers.

"Can't guarantee it'll do damage, but it should at least give the rest of us breathing room. But, where are you going to get something like that?" To answer my question, the shapeshifter takes the form of a mech thing, then changes back.

"Okay.... now..... are we forgetting something?" We break the huddle, and I spot the armored earth pony that came in with the rampaging dragon, looking very nervous and trying very hard to not be seen. Mission, FAILED. I pounce on the mare, pinning her to the ground.

"Ello poppet. Where do you think you're going?"

"Get off me." She thrashed and bucked, knocking me off, only for me to pounce and pin her hooves behind her back.

"Not till you tell me what I want to know. For example, just who the hell was that, and how can we kick it's ass?"

"That's Ember, she doesn't HAVE a weakness moron."

"You better not be lying, or in five seconds, you won't have a face." Knightmare adds. Aoi steps in between us as I get off her.

"No, it's okay. A black dragon, strong scales, small and fast, and uses magic. I'm not surprised she doesn't have apparent weaknesses. We'll just have to play our strengths then. Back to planning." I climb off, and Rtiz glares a hole in my head, but doesn't strike. She's probably waiting for this 'Ember' to get back.

"Alright, Knight, you'll pepper her with attacks from a distance, I'll rush in and be and up close distraction, and Aoi will get in and hit her from behind."

"Griffin, your magic.... what kind of spells do you know?" Aoi asked.

"All sorts. Protection, enhancing an edge, some elemental which depend on what's around, speed, and some debuffs like silence, although, since she's resistant to magic, those won't work."

"So, you can make me go faster for about... 30 seconds?"

"How fast?"

"Fast enough to turn me into a living bullet while falling?" I got a smile.

"That, I can do. Just tell me when you want the buff." I continued hearing thuds throughout the castle, coming from all around, and the hum of powerful magic as very heavy things were being thrown around.

"Oh shit........." Knightmare states, as though he just remembered something.

"What?"

"What if they break into The Black Vault?"

"The what?" Now it's my turn to be confused.

"Where every object in this world, living or inanimate, deemed 'more dangerous than Discord' is kept, including the elements of harmony, so that no evil force can get them." I snapped my claws.

"Also, I think we're forgetting something else. Six very important somethings......." Aoi and Knightmare look at me expectantly. Aoi, I understand, as he wasn't a brony, but the changeling is just being stupid at this point, considering he just mentioned them.

"The elements of harmony!" The bug understands, but Aoi is still confused.

"Oh girls!" Knightmare calls, the six mares trotting over.

"Would you three explain what the hay is going on?" Rainbow Dash asks.

"Well, Luna is getting thrashed, and we have a plan, but if it fails, we need you to use the elements of harmony, so, go get em."

"But, they're behind a locked door." Twilight deadpans.

"Well, figure it out. I don't care if you need to take Drunk-lestia's unconscious body down there and use her to open it, just get it done." They head to the vault to attempt to retrieve the elements, until Aoi asks.

"What elements?" Facepalm. Of course, we keep forgetting he's not a brony, so he wouldn't know.

"The elements of harmony are six artifacts, taking the form of five necklaces and a tiara, which represent kindness, loyalty, honestly, laughter, generosity, and magic. Together, they are the most powerful force in this world." I explain in a textbook manner.

"They've defeated a demoness, and sealed away the spirit of chaos. Those six mares are national heroes, the ones who wield them." The pervert bug adds.

"Oh." was all he had to say.

"So, we three will head to wherever they are, and you six get to the vault and........" Just as we were getting ready to move out, there was a crash, and the dragoness crashed through the wall, using Luna like a battering ram.

"Girls...... go...... now......"

"......You gotta be fuckin' with me...."

Aoi says nothing, simply drawing his sword. Knightmare and I follow as Ember tosses Luna to the ground with disdain, then begins to stomp towards us, the tile and flagstones shattering as she approaches. We all gulp as she nears us. If something has the power to beat the moon Goddess, we're in for a tough fight.

"Ember, STOP!" And then Ritz, who we had all forgotten about, smacks Ember on the back of the head. She turns her attention to her companion, who up till this point had been full of determination and defiance. As soon as those glowing purple eyes set themselves on the armored pony, she backed up, nervous. Ember raises a claw, and Ritz quickly strikes her on the muzzle. The dragoness's eyes stop glowing, and instead of purple, are now red. The blue lines fade from her body, and she begins looking around confused, and Ritz lets out a breath she was holding.

Knightmare blinks, "Well now, that was anti-climactic."

"Ugh, what happened?"

"You went on a rampage, AGAIN! And at the Grand Galloping Gala!" The armored pony literally screeches.

"What....... the....... fuck..... just..... happened.......?" I lower my weapon, and my partners follow suit.

"Yeah, don't care. Now, where'd I put that bitch Luna?" Ember laughs. My eye begins to twitch.

"I don't believe this......" I facepalm, and the other two rub their temples. As I take my claw away, I notice the dragonesss staring at me.

"WHAT?!"

"You." Oh for fuck's sake not this again. Might as well play for a bit.

"Who? Lil ol me?" I bat my eyelashes. She hisses. I drop the playful tone, and go serious instead.

"What about me?"

"I'm gonna kill you, asshole." She spat in my face.

"Okay then?" I wipe myself off.

"But not here. Too many innocents to get in the way. Be warned. I will find you. And I will fill you with so much pain, you will beg for death. And after that, I'm going to EAT you, but, unlike my dad, I WON'T choke. Now, I have to go....... talk with Princess Luna." She grabs the unconscious alicorn by the horn and drags her out of the hall, further into the castle, much to the shock of everyone present. Okay, seriously, what?

"Wait... hold on. She storms the gala, wrecks shit, curbstomps Luna, snaps out of it, threatens me, then takes the princess out back to have a chat?" At this point, I lose all restraint. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!"

"I don't know, but it looks like you're going to have to watch your back." The wolf states stoically.

"Okay.......... *Deep breath* She said she's gonna kill me, and unlike her dad, she won't choke........ wait, her dad? Oh, just FUCKING great. She's pissed because that dragon ate me and it died instead." I turn to see the shape shifter gawking at me in disbelief.

"Are you serious? A dragon ATE you and it died? How the fuck does shit like that happen?"

"I'll tell you what I tell everyone else. I'm chewy."

"He dove down it's throat with a sharp scale." The swordsman corrected.

"Wow Aoi, way to ruin it."

"Not only are you an asshole, you're a lunatic to boot." Knightmare shakes his head and sighs.

"Yeah yeah. They're coming to take me away, haha! Hee hee, ho ho, haha, to the funny farm! Where life is beautiful all the time! Seriously though, I know. I'm pretty screwed up."

"Then move to Ponyville, you'll fit right in!" At Knightmare's joke, we all relax quite a bit, and start to laugh, but not a happy laugh, a nervous, 'it's the end of the world, I'm going to go hysterical now' laugh. Doesn't help that I haven't killed ANYTHING in like, a month. It's starting to wear on my nerves. I went crazy from wanting to fight back and not being able to, and since I came to Equestria and went on a war path, while more apparent, my emotions have been leveling out, due to me externalizing them. I HAVE TO KILL THINGS! IT'S PART OF MY THERAPY!

"Um, I hate to interrupt but..." We turn and look at them, all wearing their necklaces. "We have a problem." Twilight interjects.

"What's the issue? You got the elements, and the problem is gone. Everything is good, right? Well, except the floor and wall, and Luna's out cold, possibly kidnapped by a rampaging dragon, Celestia is passed out drunk, and all the ponies are outside, freaking out because the gala just got attacked."

"That phrase never portends an easily solved problem....Agent Pie! Sitrep, now!" The changeling orders. Wait. AGENT Pie?

"The Black Vault is shredded and over half of the Articles are GONE!" She says with her usual over-energetic way of speaking.

"Wait, AGENT, Pie? You mean........ *Gasp* I knew it! Pinkie Pie IS a spy!"

Knightmare sighs, "Not a spy. She's an Agent, working for Celestia...like me."

"So, you're both spies." Aoi snickers.

"I was before I came to Equestria.

"Wait, that means, you two are spies too? Ha. Haha. Ha. I'm surrounded by spies." I have a slightly maniacal laugh at this point.

"If anyone makes a 'That changeling is a spy!' joke I'm gonna go Pyro on yo ass!" He pouts as he turns into the psychotic, mask wearing fiend, and says something that is muffled by the mask.

"That Pyro's A SPAH!" He changes back, then glares at me. "What? I didn't say changeling."

"For a vault, it's not that secure..." The wolf points out. Knightmare gets an eye twitch, than runs out of the room fast enough to leave cartoonish green flames behind him. After a moment, we hear a very faint screech.

"Did you hear that?" Aoi asks. I reply with a Sergeant Shultz response.

"I SEE nothing. I HEAR nothing, I KNOW nothing." The changeling comes back in, just as quickly as he left,

"NIGHTMARE MOON'S ARMOR IS MISSING!!!!"

"Okay." I start taking deep breaths. If the armor of 'The Nightmare' just got up and left, well, I've read enough fanfiction to know what is about to happen. Just then, Gilda and the rest of my crew, along with all the ponies they were watching over, come storming back into the hall, grab the doors and put them back, several unicorns using magic to repair the hinges, then conjure several locks, bolts, planks and such to barricade it. They look like they had all just run for their lives.

"Gilda, what in the name of Morgan Freeman is going on out there?"

"Some stupid oaf got into the Canterlot zoo and let all the animals out. We've got timber wolves, manticores, herophants, some rocs, and a fucking basilisk, all making a beeline here."

"Oh for fuck sake!"

"Well Griffin, looks like the night is not over yet..." How the HELL is Aoi so damn calm right now? Right, trained assassin.

"Is it just me, or does it feel like the apocalypse tonight?" The bug asks.

"Okay, okay, I got it. Aoi, you go deal with the animals. I'll have my crew help the moron track down the dark goddess's armor." At this point, I'm gasping for air, and my heart rate is through the roof. My eye is twitching, and I'm having slight muscle spasms.

"Then what the hell are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to sit here on my ass, take some deep breaths, have a drink to calm my nerves, then try to figure out how to stop the fucking end of the world. Things are moving way too fast for my liking, and I haven't had any time to figure it out and it's driving me nuts. Also, Discord is laughing at us right now. Fuck you Discord. Apocalypses aren't funny."

Knightmare whispered something to Aoi along the lines of 'He's lost it' before taking my crew to go track down the items that escaped from the vault, while the wolf takes his hounds and heads outside to meet the animals of the zoo, and I grab a cup and scoop some punch.

"I'll only have one glass, just to take the edge off. Any more and if I survive this debacle, Gilda will kill me. Can't go getting drunk when I have the end of the world to deal with." I down the glass, close my eyes, take some deep breaths to try and stop the hyperventilation, and think. Unfortunately, there is only one thing I can think of, one question that takes precedence above all else.

"Who signed me up for this shit?"

Playful Demon (73)

Playful Demon

As I sat and thought, Aoi jumped out through a window onto a balcony and went around to face the animals head on.

'Okay Griffin, deep breaths. There's a zoo full of angry, dangerous animals headed here, but Aoi is a trained assassin. He can stop them. Nightmare Moon's armor is out there, but Knight and my crew are hunting it. Celestia is passed out drunk, and Luna has been kidnapped by Ember, but she'll be fine. Besides, the elements of harmony are right here, next to me.

"What are you six doing?"

"Well, you didn't give us any instructions, and we can't act till something happens, so, we decided to just wait here." Twilight explained.

"Oh. Okay. That's... um....... good.....yeah." I replied with a slight twitch in my claws.

"Ya'll feeling okay sugarcube?" Applejack asked, concerned.

"No, no I don't think I am. I usually have time to think things through, but, this, this, it's just a runaway train. Everything has gone crazy, and I can't make sense of it. Heck, if it was Discord, I'd at least be able to understand that it's supposed to be this chaotic, but, this level of mayhem happening on it's own. I planned everything meticulously, and it's all gone wrong. I know I should be able to expect the unexpected but this is just absurd."

"Eol, Ubi, get back inside to help with the civilians, fall back!" I heard Aoi call from outside. "Griffin, can you and your crew handle this?"

"Sorry, they're still with Knightmare, looking for the demoness's armor, and I'm still trying to pour my brain back into my skull. Come on, they're just a bunch of animals. I know you can take care of it. Besides, someone needs to protect the element bearers. Since I'm totally freaking out right now, it should probably be me. If you really want to, we can switch in a bit."

"Well, I can't blame you for not wanting to go out there. This evening has just been absolutely dreadful so far. Couch?" And then, in a mimic of Pinkie Pie, Rarity pulls a fainting couch out of nowhere, and I proceed to flop on it. I saw Twilight glaring daggers at her, but then just dismiss it.

"Okay, okay, I just need to relax. Just need to relax......." The six mares around me all back away slowly, although I'm not sure why. Then, I hear a voice from everywhere.

"Ahhhhhhh. Your anger, your HATRED, it's delicious. Join with me, and I will give you all that you desire and more......" I jump from the couch and look to see a black mist swirling, taking the form of a snake coiled around me, whispering in my ear, shuddering in delight. Knightmare bursts through the door and looks at me in horror.

"Damnit Griffin! No! It's the Nightmare! Don't listen to it!"

"Ignore him. Let me give you power. Let me give you strength! I will make you invincible!"

"Don't do it!"

"Do it."

"Don't do it!"

"Do EEEEEET"

"Don't do it!"

"Will you all SHUT UP!" My voice became deep and booming at the last part, with a sinister air to it. Everyone stepped backwards cautiously, clearly afraid. And then, I started to laugh.

"Ha. Hehe, ha. Haha. Hehehahahahaha. Hahahahaa! Mwahahahahaha! Bwahahahahha! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Unlimited POWER! Overwhelming STRENGTH! I....am.... INVINCIBLE!........................................................................... Nah." The black mist snake hissed and glared at me with slitted, green eyes.

"If I accepted you, then YOU would be the one running around, cutting people up, and that wouldn't leave any fun for me. So, thanks for the offer, but, I'm afraid the answer is no. Would you kindly fuck off now?" The snake turned back into a mist, then floated away as the ponies, changeling, and my crew which had now returned just looked at me in shock.

"What?"

"It just offered you everything you ever wanted, and given your hatred, it'd be powerful enough to do it, and you just turned it down?" Knightmare asks.

"Yeah, not worth it."

"Wow, I.... wow. I respect you slightly more now."

"Don't care."

"Umm, girls...." Fluttershy gets our attention with her adorably soft voice. We turn our attention to the cloud, once again a snake, that has wrapped itself around Octavia on stage. Fangs sprout from her mouth, and her eyes become green and slitted. I look to the changeling, and he looks back at me.

"Well that's not good."

Evil laughter sounds through the hall as the cellist pony undertakes a drastic transformation, gaining wings and a horn, a flowing black mane, dark armor, and growing to three times her size.

"Gilda...... have the crew form a perimeter around the guests, and get them out of the hall. Go deeper into the castle, keep them safe, got it? Leave five here and have them stay out of the way, just in case we need someone to pull our asses out of the fire, but take the rest with you." I pronounce each word slowly and carefully, and she nods, signalling her understanding. Trixie hops on my back, knowing that there's about to be a fight.

"Nadene, get up high, and use your blowgun to shoot the animals with darts. I don't care whether you put them to sleep or kill them. Geirmund, you go with Nadene, and take your family with you. You'll be safe there, and can provide support. Steelhorn, Etch, Growl, you go out and help Aoi. Shimmer, Maria, you're with Nadene. Go." They rush to the stairs to get to their respective positions, and the crowd of ponies is brought out of the hall through the back, deeper into the castle, where they'll be safe. Now, it's just Knightmare, the element bearers, Lyra, myself, and five griffin riders, staring down the possessed earth pony.

"Lyra.... what are you doing here...."

"You're all about to get in an epic fight, as if I'm gonna miss this." Right, she wants to WATCH. I think her priorities always were a little skewed.

"Just, stay over there in the corner with my crew, and stay out of the way."

"I..... LIVE.... AGAIN!"

"Hey Knightmare, how do you feel about killing a demon?" He gulped.

"Errrrhmmm. Ugh?"

"Well, it looks like I'm on my own." I walk up to the possessed Octavia and glare.

"Bwahaha! Foal! You think you can defeat me? I am Nightmare Octave, and I will be your end!" I just gave a deadpan stare, then cleared my throat.

"*Ahem*. Reasons why you will lose. Reason number one. Poor timing. The first time you showed up, it was in front of the only six ponies capable of stopping you. This time, not only are those same six here, but they are ALREADY wearing the elements of harmony, AND they have one of the strongest fighters in the entire world on their side....... and a perverted changeling who's special ability is that he can literally annoy you to death."

"HEY!" I didn't even look back.

"So, I don't need to do anything. I can just go sit over there, have some punch, and let these six deal with you. Reason 2. Cliche. You are a cliche villain. I know what you're going to do before you do it, because I've seen it all before."

"You dare mock me!"

"Yes, and reason three. You've already done this once. This is just villain recycling. Using the same plot point over and over. I wouldn't be surprised if they cut this entire event out of the show. It's repetitive, monotone, boring, and BAD FORM! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sit over there and talk about more important things, like what songs we're going to play at the concert, while these six kill you. Have fun." Then I turn and begin to walk away. That...... well. It was a bad move. I probably shouldn't have done that. Hey, I've had a stressful day, so I got a bit sloppy. Leave me alone, I'm not perfect okay? This fact made apparent by the demon drawing it's bow across the strings, and black tendrils of magic coming from it, one stabbing me in each wing, and two more glancing off the armor on my flanks, then picking me up and tossing me across the room. I landed upright, having trained myself to do that so no matter what, I wouldn't land on my back and crush my rider, but with my wings bleeding, I was grounded, forced to hold my wings at my side to keep pressure on them.

"Gack!"

"Griffin!" Trixie cried out.

"I'm fine. Two of them hit my armor, the other two missed any vitals."

"You're bleeding."

"Tis only a flesh wound. I'll be fine. Girls, rainbow friendship cannon, now please?" But, as I turned to look at them, they were all lying passed out, the five necklaces and tiara on the ground before them. I walked up to investigate, and saw that they were all bleeding slightly from their foreheads, my claw now covered in it. My vision narrowed, and the familiar adrenaline flow filled me. I had some of my crew pick them up, and bring them up to Nadene, while Octave used her magic to grab the elements and put them at her hooves.

"You're going to pay for that."

"Hahahaha! Foal! You cannot hope to defeat me!" I just ignored her and charged. She lowered her horn, as Trixie's began to glow. I jumped to her right, and came at her from the side. She fired a blast of magic, only for it to phase through me.

"An illusion?"

"Lacero!" I came from my original vector and swung Hades in a wide arc from right to left, leaving a massive gash in her side which sprayed blood. It healed almost instantly however.

"Oh that's just not fair." She turned and bucked. I ducked, and her hooves clashed with Trixie's shield. She moved it to the left, throwing her off balance. She used her wings to stabilize herself, but an undercutting attack with my sword made her fall onto her side, at which point Trixie extended her lance, and skewered the possessed pony, right in the heart. She retracted it, and I backed away, only for the wound to once again heal over.

"Damn it!"

"You will regret that. Hear my song and know despair!" Trixie quickly passed me a blood vial, as by now, my sword had run out, and I downed it. She drew her bow, the tendrils coming forth, intent on impaling us.

"Umbra." And they stopped dead, vaporizing into nothingness. A look of pure rage came over Nightmare Octave's face, and with some straining, the spell shattered. I backed up towards the changeling and glared at him.

"You planning on moving your fat, chitinous ass? Preferably today?"

"What do you want me to do... against THAT?"

"She attacks by using sound waves. She broke through my silence spell, so, you'll need to play some music to counteract her sound waves with your own. Basically, just play some awesome rock music to my fight in order to keep her spell off me. I don't know why she keeps healing, so I'll just have to keep whacking her till I figure it out.

"Sounds good to me."

*Bang*

I turn and look, a dark beam coming from the possessed pony's horn, going right through Trixie's chest. It was on the right side, so it missed the heart, but I don't know if it hit the lung or not. She fell off me, and a small amount of blood was coming from her mouth.

"Shit! Trixie! Nononono! Hey! come on! No, don't die on me..... Hey! You! Reed! Get her up to Nadene and Geirmund NOW!" The griffin flew over, carefully scooped up my wounded rider, and fled up the stares as fast as he could to get Trixie to the doctors.

"Fools! I am your opponent. Do you think I would give you time to plan? I learned from my mistakes the last time. You cannot beat me. Face it, you've lost. Now, lose yourselves to despair, and give in to my song! All the world shall hear my beautiful music!"

"Knightmare, start playing."

"What should I...." One look into my maniacal eyes told him to just shut up and pick something. I threw my sunglasses onto the ground, pulled two more vials of dragon blood, two mana potions, and a health potion. I guzzled them all down, then tossed the glass vials onto the ground, shattering them. I cracked my neck, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head from the rush.

"Accelero. Protego. Lacero. Fortis. Furia." Speed, protect, cut, strong, berserk. I cast the last one because I wanted to forget my pain momentarily, as I knew I wouldn't be able to fight properly while bleeding out. The downside is.... well..........

"What are you saying?"

"Hehehehehehahahahehehooooooo. OOoooohhh..... I feel....... goooooooooood. So gooooooood-ood-ood. Teehee...." I wobbled slightly, my eyes rolling around in my head.

"Erm, what?" I walked up to the possessed pony, and showed her my claw, covered in blood, an innocent, childish grin on my face.

"Look at that....... it's red. It's so pretty....... oh my gosh! I just got an AMAZING idea! Let's paint the whole room red!"

"Enough of this!" She pulled her bow across the strings again, the tendrils came out, but due to Knightmare's epic song, they were all bent backwards, overwhelmed by the heavy metal.

"Wha...." Was all she was able to say before I dove at her, in the blink of an eye, my sword making contact with her chest, slicing through her flesh, but stopping at the bone. I withdrew, then with a left to right swing, smashed her in the head, followed by an overhead one, which put a crack in her horn, and one more from the front, knocking her onto her hind legs. I stabbed my sword into the ground behind her in order to keep her up.

"Paint the lines! Cut the flesh! Salt the wound! La la la!" With her back pushed up against Hades, I attacked with a flurry of blows to her head, chest, and stomach with my claws, magically enhanced to be faster, stronger, and sharper than normal. I stopped, then began dancing around in a circle, until I slipped in the blood that was on the floor. I pulled myself up and looked at my opponent, who was still bleeding slightly as she healed.

"Aww, you're leaking! Oh, that doesn't look good at all. Hey! I know! If I drain it all out, you won't leak any more!" I delivered an uppercut which knocked her over my sword, onto the ground. I drew Hades, then made a massive overhead chop which put yet another crack in her horn. The magic wave that was released sent me flying backwards, right past the changeling who was still throwing epic riffs to try and counteract Octave's spell, and through the door. I landed on the stairs and when I got up, I saw that the demon Octavia had already gotten up and was closing the distance between herself and Knightmare, her cello back between her hooves, sending focused sound waves at him that were starting to get through. He was jumping around while playing, trying desperately to avoid them.

All the spells wore off, and I noticed Aoi trying, and failing, to deal with the Canterlot zoo. There were some wounded and dead manticores, timberwolves circling him, three elephants the size of buildings with a dozen or so blow darts in them, three trunks each, slamming them on the ground and cracking the stones, some bird things, and a massive snake that was turning ponies unfortunate enough to be in the area to stone.

'Why does she keep healing? Your hatred is delicious Ah crap. So long as I'm around, she'll just regenerate! I can't fight her, maybe my wolf friend could?'

"Hey Aoi, I could use a little help in here."

"And I could use a little help out here. Switch?" The wolf offered.

"Try not to die!" I replied in a sing-song tone before leaping over him to take his place in the fray. He passed the double doors as I turned to face my enemies. I noticed I was bleeding even more now, my vision obscured by a cut above my left eye dripping blood into it, and a distinct pain in my stomach every time I took a breath.

"Furia." The pain disappeared, and my fading adrenaline rush returned. The manticores were dead, as well as half the timber wolves, but the herophants, basilisk, rocs, and harpies were all rather uninjured. I grinned.

'The basilisk will be the only thing that's a problem, everything else, I hope the zoo has good life insurance policies for them."

"Hello little puppies. You look cold. I know because your leaves are shaking. Wait, puppies don't have leaves! You're stuck in a tree! Don't worry puppy, I'll get you out!" And then I ripped the timber wolf in half with my bare claws, spilling it's sap all over me.

"Yuck. BAD DOG! We do that on the lawn, not in the house!" I hefted my sword and sliced the next three in half as they dove at me.

"Bad dog, we don't bite! Go in your pen!" The remaining two timber wolves looked at me for a moment, then put their tails between their legs and ran away. The Herophants came up and started thrashing about in their stead, crushing the cobblestone pathways.

"It's an elelelelephant! Wait, that's not right. They only have one trunk, and you all have three! Here, let me fix it!" The monstrous beasts howled in pain as I sliced off all their trunks. They started gargling blood as they struggled to breathe, their noses collapsed. They thrashed wildly, before falling over, dead from drowning on their own blood.

"Oopsie daisy! First they had too many, and now they don't have enough. Hey! Ouch!" The rocs and harpies had flown down and started pecking and scratching at me. They came in a mass and kept piling on till there was just a swarm, only to get splattered as I did a spin attack, hewing them.

"Icky birds, they're just like bugs! Oh! I have bug spray! Ignis!" And then flames spilled forth as I leapt into the air, doing aileron rolls despite by injured wings due to the spell acting almost like morphine, making a corkscrew of fire wrap around me as I flew which reduced the remaining flock to mere cinders. I landed, with only the snake remaining when the magic induced madness finally wore off.

"Wow....... I honestly think I should go see a psychologist. That was way messed up. I was like.... a little kid who uses knives and lighters to torture small animals. There is something seriously WRONG with me." Just the basilisk left now. I turn to face the creature, and find that it is already staring right in my eyes. My legs start to feel heavy, and I look down at them to see they are turning to stone. When I turn back, I find that the snake is biting it's lip with strain, giving me as intense a gaze as it can.

"Aw, you're adorable, trying to stare me into defeat. Bitch, please. Didn't you know that stares only work if the thing you're using it on is afraid of you? Looking at me like that isn't going to do anything if you don't use proper intimidation tactics first. Here, let me show you a proper stare." I glared back, ten times as hard, and felt my body returning to normal as I mentally projected an intense hatred onto the fiend. It began sweating, and tears came into its eyes before it broke eye contact and turned its head away, then began whimpering. See? Reading pays off! Basilisks are normally found in the Feline Jungle, and while I never ran into one while there, the book specifically stated to NOT be afraid, because then the stare won't work on you. Of course, that's easier said than done when you have a very large, venomous snake looking at you like you're its next meal, so it suggested avoiding them outright, but if backed against a wall, look it in the eye, get mad, and don't stand your ground, push back.

"Don't feel too bad. It was a good effort, you'll get it eventually, but right now, you should probably be heading back to your cage." With those words it nodded and began slithering away. I turned around, and as soon as I did, I heard a hiss. I spun and brought the flat of my sword in front of me as a shield, blocking two very large fangs, dripping with venom.

"Well, since you decided to ignore my advice and stick around, the least you can do is humor me by answering a very simple question I have." The basilisk looked confused, well, as confused a face as it can make with Hades stuck between its jaws.

"The question is.... do you like my sword-sword?"

With the basilisk dealt with, and by that I mean skinned alive, followed by being decapitated, the ponies that had been turned to stone were freed from their prisons and looked at me, covered in blood and gore, a teensy bit burnt, with fresh cuts and scrapes all over.

"You.... saved us?" They looked around at the disgusting piles of gibbets strewn about the street, and many of them vomited.

"What..... are you?"

"Just your friendly neighbourhood psychopath."

"All those animals..... they were rare and exotic, and you killed them all!" Another pony, presumably the zoo keeper by his getup, said with anger.

"Listen, I'm hot, tired, bleeding out, covered in dirt and grime, and my head is pounding so much I could make it into dubstep. I might have broken bones, and my arms feel like they're going to fall off, so I don't feel like putting up with your bullshit. If you had done your job, this wouldn't have happened. Now....... I'm gonna go lay down for a bit. If you disturb me, I'll cut off your limbs and make you eat them, understand?" He gulped and backed down, and the crowd promptly cleared out to try and get away from the hell that is the gala hall. Time to find a nice spot to take a nap..... maybe get some yummy treats? After all, I just saved all those pony's lives, I deserve to indulge a little bit. So tired.....

I climbed back up the steps wearily, nearly falling a couple times as I did so, and saw Applejack's.... correction, MY food cart, near the entrance, around the corner, pushed up against the wall. To my dismay, I found that it was shattered into little pieces, only the sign remained, and all the food was gone. The single living animal from the zoo that stayed behind, a roc, licking apple bits off it's beak.

"You little fucker! Ign-ooooowwowowowow ouch!" I held my head. "Okay, no more spells for today. You're lucky you little shit." Then, I kid you not, the bird folded the feathers on it's wing back so only the one in the middle stood up, stuck out it's tongue, then flew away.

"Grr.... Well, I can't go back in there, so, I guess I just have a seat by this wall and wait for them to finish up their fight." As I sat down, there was a loud boom, similar to when I had cracked Nightmare Octave's horn, but louder, and I suddenly found a very heavy thing laying on me, while I looked at a distinctly Aoi shaped hole in the stone wall.

"KUSO!" He cursed. I toss him off of me, and he uses his sword to help himself up, his other hand over his ear, a bit of blood coming from it. The possessed pony walked through the hole, now missing it's horn, and just glares at us.

"Nice move Aoi, now she won't be able to use non musical magic."

"What?" Our conversation is interrupted by several black spheres exploding around us, shooting from her horn stump randomly.

"We are so screwed."

"Enough of this! You both have proven to be more trouble than you're worth! I'll dispose of both of you, then the whole world will hear my music, even without my horn!"

"I thought you said you could handle it! I sure as hell can't!" He turned towards me and I noticed his eyes were staring at my beak.

"YOU TRY LISTENING TO A FAHKIN BANSHEE!" He barked, shoving me and jumping back to avoid a blast of black energy. Octavia begins playing a loud, high pitched shriek on her cello, causing both Aoi and I to fall over, clutching our heads with pain as our eardrums rupture, when suddenly, through the ringing, we hear an unexpected voice.

"SHHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!" Knightmare comes from behind, and with an open, slow, overly dramatic swing which anyone with any real skill could have blocked, but was sucessful because the bitch wasn't paying attention to him, he lodges his ax in her horn, splitting it. She screams in agony as a black mist begins seeping out of the stump. He pulls his weapon from her head and starts playing an epic riff, the mist being sucked into his guitar as Octavia slowly turns back to normal. Aoi and I are covering our ears, each sound like a thousand needles in the sides of our heads.

"WWWRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screams, before getting bucked off the irritated earth pony he was standing on, the battle finally over. Before his eyes, the lost chunk of Octave's horn transforms into a small rounded piece of metal.

"Owowowowowow!" Aoi and I both writhing on the ground in pain, our ruptured eardrums not being done any favours by the changeling that........ JUST STOLE MY FUCKING CATCHPHRASE!"

"KNIGHT! STOP!" We both yell, and the changeling looks to us, sees our bleeding ears, then gets an apologetic look and says something neither of us can hear. The sounds stop, and both of us fall over on our backs.

"Finally, silence. Sweet silence." I breathe out, then let myself collapse. I'm seeing stars and swirls everywhere, everything is a haze. I knock myself on the side of the head to set my eyes straight, and look at Aoi.

"Hey Griffin..." He says, well, at least I think. I'm not too good at lip reading on canines.

"Yeah?" I whisper. He doesn't get it, so I nod and look at him expectantly.

"Know any healing spells?" I nod, pull out a vial of dragon blood, as well as a healing potion and a mana potion, down all three, get to my feet, and pull my sword out in front of me.

"I'm so gonna regret this. Medico. NNNNNGGGGGG! Ow........" I point at Aoi, and his cuts and bruises vanish, and he looks visibly relaxed as I hold my pounding head. I point at myself. "Medico NNng.... ahhhh...." Waves of relief wash over me, my vision clears, my cuts seal themselves, and I fall down, in bliss from the relief of my pain. My ears have a tingle, and instant of anguish, and a sudden pop as sound returns to me, but my head throbs even more. I fall back down to the ground, laying on my back, wrapping my wings around me like a blanket as I shiver slightly.

"I've never had a night like that in 20 years... nor a battle like that in my life... those are the battles I feel, are the ones that make you want to keep living..." Great, now he's getting philosophical. That's my job..... although I suppose I can share.

"I haven't been hurt this bad since before I became a griffin, yet, I still somehow came out of it okay. Heh. Fuck you death, not today." Aoi starts to laugh, and I join him.

"Hey, Griffin..."

"Yeah?"

"...Where you headed next?"

"Gem Fido. I gotta get back to rescuing slaves. This vacation was nice, but now, I need a vacation from my vacation."

He slowly lifts his hand and makes a thumbs up. "Mind if I hitch a ride?" I lift my own thumb, matching him, then let my arm fall, laughing again. Knightmare stumbles over to us, his mane with small cinders burning in it, his jacket shredded, and greenish blood dripping from it.

"That...was awesome." He falls flat on his face, and starts crying into the pavement from the pain. "Someone call a medic... please?"

'Oh COME ON! My head hurts enough as it is! Don't make me.' He lets out a whimper.

"Ugh..... fine. Medico ow ow ow. There, now quit your bitching." I grab my sword and point it at him without even getting up, and with renewed vigor, he jumps up and starts yammering about how awesome that was, like Pinkie when she gets to talking about birthdays. He turns to Octavia and talks about something, but I really don't care about that right now. Aoi gets up and talks with her as well, and I just lay there.

I nearly get trampled, however, luckily, I am pulled out of the way by a recovered Twilight, who had just been knocked out.. I turn and see that she had rescued me from being crushed by some weird thing carrying a club, muttering something about 'crazy mares' while Drunk-lestia chases after him, screaming about a 'cake thief'. The unicorn set me on my feet, and I turn to the group. Knightmare is the first to speak.

"This whole damn world is nuts. I love it." I give him a noogie.

"Haha! That's the spirit! Maybe you aren't so bad after all...... pervert."

"Neither are you...... asshole."

"Well, still not turning you human so you can eat." Out of nowhere, Chrysalis walks by.

"Oh! I forgot to mention! When you turn into something else, you have their organs, so, as long as you stay transformed while you digest it, you're able to eat normally. Sorry." She smirks at Knightmare, then buzzes off. This was clearly an effort to torture him and, while I'd normally be all for it, he DID just save my life.

"Bitch....." He mutters, then perks up. "Hey! Where's all the goodies?"

"I.... regret to inform you that the entire cart was eaten by the now deceased contents of the Canterlot Zoo."

"Damnit! When I get my hooves on her....."

"Well, Queen Chrysalis happens to be petrified of me, so, what do you say we find her and play a little game of 'Hospitalization'?" He smiles deviously at my suggestion.

"Sounds good to me." Then, the two of us scamper off to go do something that is without a doubt illegal and in violation of every single part of the peace treaty between Queen Chrysalis and Princess Celestia........ and we don't give a shit.

Sitting alone in the now empty and darkened gala hall, with burnt and broken tapestries, shattered floor tiles, broken windows, the doors knocked off their hinges, a hole in the wall, and blood EVERYWHERE, on a single chair, at a single table, with a single candle for illumination, sat Lyra, who had been a wide eyed witness to the entire event.

"I don't like humans anymore."

Breakfast At Canterlot (74)

Breakfast At Canterlot

I wake up in a bed far more comfortable than my own, surrounded by fluffy pillows, and wearing bandages all over my torso and wings. despite the fact that I only had wounds on my feathered appendages, they had practically mummified me. Of course, what else would you expect from a cartoon? Gilda was sleeping soundly in the next bed, on the other side of the room. I lay there, awake for a time, just thinking about the events of last night. Ember attacking the castle and kidnapping Luna, I still don't know how that turned out, the zoo animals going on a rampage after what is reportedly a troll smashing their cages open, Nightmare Octave being beaten, Knight stealing my catchphrase.

"Ugh, what a night. Blood hangover." I slowly climb out of bed, find a washroom to relieve myself, and splash water on my face. Looking in the mirror of the bathroom in the five star accommodations at the castle, I notice I have a nice little scar above my left eye.

"Heh, now I'll get ALL the ladies."

"Hey Grif, you up?" Gilda calls from back in the bedroom.

"Yeah, just cleaning myself up." I start undressing my bandages to find that while they were blood soaked, the wounds had healed over nicely. "Heh, healing magic, I love you." I walk back into the bedroom to find her laying there, covers half off, with a sultry look on her face.

"You coming back to bed?"

"As much as I'd love to, we really ought to go check on everyone else. I remember Trixie getting shot by some magic.... Knight getting burned, Aoi going through a wall......"

"How about after breakfast first?" She suggests. Both our stomachs growl, and with awkward smiles, we agree.

"Breakfast."

"I'll just be a couple minutes myself, you head on down and try not to get lost. It's a maze in here."

I walk out the door and stretch myself out, and spot several tags on the doors in this hallway. Trixie, Nadene, Maria, Aoi, and several others. Apparently, after I passed out from exhaustion, they dressed my wounds and hauled everyone to the castle lodgings for the night. I knock on Aoi's door.

"Hey! You in there?" I hear muffled muttering before the door opens and a very scraggly looking wolf comes out and leans on the doorpost.

"Sleep well Griffin?" He asked.

"Yeah, after that mess, I was out like a light. Gilda didn't seem to happy about me passing out, judging by the way she wanted me to 'come back to bed' this morning." I replied.

"As for me, the second hangover I've had... although not a stranger to it, it never gets any easier..."

"Lucky you, my head is still pounding from tossing out so many spells last night. At least I didn't fry my brain like last time. Seizures aren't fun. We're heading down for breakfast, you coming?"

"Yeah, I'll let Eol and Ubi sleep in a bit, they deserve it..."

"Should we wait for Knightmare? I have to wait for Gilda to wake up completely anyways."

"Yeah, sure..." Aoi went back in his room to get dressed. Gilda comes out and throws her arm around me.

"We gonna eat or what?"

"Just waiting for Aoi."

At that moment, Aoi comes out fully dressed, and Knightmare moonwalks past us wearing a pink towel around his waist. "G'mornin dudes!"

"You're feeling chipper today aren't you?" The wolf states more than asks.

"How can I not? We may not have DONE anything but..... I slept with the mare of my dreams, had the best sleep I've had in years, and all after THE Party to end all parties! Plus, for the first time in too long, I'm NOT breaking my own knees trying to walk around!" He starts dancing around, still wearing the frilly pink towel. "I feel lighter than air!"

"Maybe it's because you have wings?" I snicker at Aoi's comment.

"No, I checked my weight, I'm only 42 pounds now." He explains. Aoi cracks his neck and starts complaining about the beds, causing me to think he's crazy. I mean, those beds are fantastic!

"Had ANYONE told me I'd weigh that, say, a month ago? I'd have called them a liar. I weighed, a smidge over two weeks ago, 369 pounds....and ......I see I'm not the only one with someone to cuddle up too." He turns and bows to Gilda, "Milady, pleased to finally meet you in person."

"Yeah, quit with the high class crap though, it's annoying." She replies with a scowl.

"Wait, you were 370 pounds? Ha! Fatty!"

"Fine! I'm gonna go get breakfast." He just keeps moonwalking down the hall, with a pout on his face, glaring at us. I notice Aoi looking at us, although confused, rather than indignant. Celestia comes out and glares at me.

"And what's wrong with being a healthy weight?" She's looking down at me, quite miffed.

"Healthy for a pony or a griffin maybe, but for a human? You wouldn't walk, you'd roll. There is such a thing as 'too healthy'." She gives me a glare, but then moves on, having lost the argument. Aoi turns his attention back to me.

"So, I take it she's your mate then?"

"Yep." I lean into her, making her fall off balance for a moment. "That she is." He turns to Gilda.

"Quite a catch, isn't he?"

"You have no idea."

As Gilda, Aoi and I made our way down to the dining hall, not getting lost due to the highly appreciated guidance of Twilight and her friends who had also slept at the castle, our jaws dropped at the massive spread before us. A plethora of vegetarian goods all laid out before us just waiting to be eaten. Knightmare immediately screamed "Bacon!", shapeshifted to a human form, and dove for the plate.

"It's not bacon, it's a high-grade copy made of vegetarian materials. The esteemed head chef managed to create a spice which replicates the flavor through magically transmuted memories I....... borrowed." Celestia explains. Knightmare carefully takes a piece and begins to eat it, rather slowly in fact, then gives two thumbs up. "Tastes like real, apple smoked bacon!"

I take my seat and look around. "I don't get what the big deal is. It's just bacon. Have any fish?" Knightmare just about drops dead at my statement. He begins twitching.

"But....but....BACON! You can't just say NO to BACON! It's....it's....ah fuck it, more for me!"

"I'm impressed, even down to kaiseki cuisine... But, how did the chefs know how to make all this?" Aoi asks after examining the food. Celestia smiles.

"It's a secret."

"Well, no use wondering about it, most of the things in this world don't make much sense anyway..." He pulls out a pair of chopsticks in preparation of the meal to come.

"Seriously though, no fish? Not even shellfish? This sucks." I pout. Celestia smiles at me.

"Perhaps next time you'll put a little more thought into your letters....." You...... bitch...... I look around as everyone piles food on their plates, then gets ready to dig in, and stops.

"Should we say a prayer?" Knight asks. Celestia, Luna, and Aoi look confused. As am I.

"To who? I mean, Celestia is right here...... Unless you mean ours?" He nods. I fold my claws and close my eyes, and then give sincere thanks.

"Lord, thank you for sending me to Equestria. I've found friends, a lover found me, and I'm finally working through my emotional problems. Everything is wonderful, except not having meat, but who am I to complain? Also, would it be too much to ask for some fish?" I've never been one of those 'I am not worthy, ooooooh' people, more of a relaxed spiritual relationship. Kinda explains why I'm able to joke around with the princesses.

"Not all good things come at the cost of another's life Griffin...." Celestia says with a scowl before picking up a doughnut.

"You've CLEARLY never had deep fried fish then."

"Griffin, try some of the seabream." Aoi points his chopsticks at a plate, and I grab some bits of it and eat it cautiously.

"Well, it tastes kind of like it, but, it's just not the same."

Celestia pauses in her doughnut eating race with Knightmare, then turns to me. "You fight a war to liberate the griffons, because you think it is wrong for the dragons to use them as a food source despite their lack of other sources. Yet you feast on the bodies of countless innocent creatures for no reason other than that it's fun?"

"Yeah, but FISH and CLAMS aren't SENTIENT."

"I'm quite sure most dragons feel the same way about griffins and diamond dogs."

"Kind of hard to think that's possible when they're screaming 'Please! No! I have a wife and family!' while you eat them." I retort in anger. Knightmare stops eating as well.

"The thing is," He smacks down some more pastry, "when you're an omnivore, your body NEEDS things that you simply cannot get from a purely plant diet. And let us not get started on CARNIVORES."

"Perhaps they scream and you simply think yourself too far above them to hear it?" She offers.

"If that's the case, then you're just as bad with plants. How do you know THEY don't have emotions? In fact, a scientific study has shown that many plants react to stimulus in a conscious way. See that apple? You're eating it ALIVE. You monster." I shoot back.

"Actually, an apple is just the ovary of a tree..." Knight states.

"ENOUGH!" Aoi slams his bowl on the table, quieting our argument. He sighs, "Breakfast isn't a good time to discuss the consciousness of our food now is it? It's disrespectful to both the food and others."

"Agreed, I don't want to know if my hay bacon is screaming at me." The changeling shudders. "I just KNOW I'm gonna have nightmares from this."

"Once, a person asked me how I could stand to eat meat, knowing I was eating the life of another. Do you know what I said to him?" Aoi begins. Great, here comes the philosophy major....... We all just give him a blank stare.

"I kept on eating, at the end, I folded my hands and said 'Gochisousama'. He asked me what it means... What do you think it means?"

"Thank you for your sacrifice, young soul." Celestia states. Aoi nods.

"It never left my mind that to feed another, a living thing has to die, the best we can do is show our respect, appreciate what sustenance it gives us, no matter how small it is." A rage starts to build in the pit of my stomach. They all think themselves so much better than me, don't they?

"Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that one should live to a standard not their own. I merely wished to convey upon Griffin the seriousness with which he should treat a life, even one as small as that of an ant." She says humbly, which further builds my fury. It's like they're talking down to me. Who the fuck do you all think you are?

"Unlike most humans I knew, I never hunted, neither for sport not for enjoyment. I don't want to ever have to kill another living being unless I absolutely have too..." Knightmare added. And now the bastard changeling adds his piece. They all think they're better than me, like I'm some heartless beast.

"Don't you think I know that?!" I screamed as I stood, slamming my hands on the table. "Do you think the faces of those I kill don't haunt me in my dreams? Don't you think I regret EVERY SINGLE ONE! Everyone has a family, friends! Do you know how many lives I've ripped apart? And I'm not talking about the dead. Even yesterday, Ember, the dragon who attacked your sister, came and vowed revenge on me because I killed her father, and HE was trying to EAT ME!" They all just sat there in silence at my outburst. I sat back down and let my arms drop.

"The point is, for every life I have taken, for every drop of blood spilled, there are those who will curse my name till they day they die, and continue to do so long after."

"So, what now? Will you let your past haunt you?" Aoi asks. "Or will you meet it with sword brandished, ready to cut it down and move on?"

"Both. I can't leave it behind, because I can never escape it. Even if I free the griffins and make a new nation, I'll never be able to sleep at night, if not by guilt, then by fear of an assassin, come to take vengeance. I can never forget my what I've done.... but I'm not going to let it stop me either. I said once before, I am a BAD PERSON. The things I do are necessary, but that doesn't make them any less wrong." Nobody at the table says a word, until Aoi get's a grin on his face.

"That's the spirit. Take it one step further... What will you do if Ember faces you head on?"

"Well, seeing as how she beat the stuffing out of Luna...... if I face her head on...... I'm gonna die.

"Give her a kiss and ask for forgiveness!" Knightmare says, taking my form and making a 'kissy face'. I throw a plate at him, then drop my head to the table.

"Knightmare, remember, this is Griffin we're talking about." Aoi points out.

"True."

"If you do die.... die knowing you died fighting, and that you died doing what's right by you..."

"That's only if I face her head on. Who said I'd even do that? I'm a pirate. I lie and I cheat. I don't play by the rules. Notice how she didn't have wings, despite being bigger than Shimmer who's starting to grow hers in? She can't fly, and I can. What's to say I don't just run away, or stab her in the back? I'm more mobile than she is, I can avoid her as long as I want. Still, that doesn't change the fact that she's hunting me. I just hope she doesn't find a way to take the upper hand." I returned to my depressed brooding, with Gilda rubbing my back, when an incredibly peppy voice rang through the dinner hall.

"Hey Cap'n!" I hear a voice call. I look up and see my crew had entered the room while my forehead was getting acquainted with the table. I see Maria entering, pushing a covered food cart.

"Hey guys." I reply, depressed.

"Cheer up grumpy, everyone is fine, Freud fixed Trixie up, so she'll be out of the hospital soon and we can take care of her on the ship, and you can't stay upset when I brought your faaaavorite food." She says while rubbing my crest. I instantly perk up.

"You mean..."

"Yep! Battered perch, drenched in strained mango juice!"

"Please tell me you didn't catch that in the Canterlot gardens....." Celestia groans.

"Of course not! We caught it in Kowabunga Lake on Signal Island. We kept it on ice for a special occasion."

"Oh, good. I was worried there might be...never mind. Please, enjoy your meal." She relaxes.

"Maria how did you know?"

"Well, I know about how you were sticking to fruit and veggies while in Equestria, so your iron levels were already low. Combine that with the blood loss from yesterday, and its no wonder you passed out. Because of that, Nadene suggested we feed you meat to get your iron levels back up, since you can't get it from pony foods, and, since fish is socially acceptable, not to mention you like it so much, I decided to go all out. You need to get your strength back, sooner you eat up, the sooner you'll stop being so tired and irritable. You should be getting some rest anyways. You weren't hurt that bad, but you should still take it easy."

"Thanks sport. This will just about make my day." I nearly cried as I ate, so delicious. Gilda pretty much inhaled hers as well. The rest of the crew took from both the cart and the table for a mixed diet, and began eating heartily. I smiled at the guilty look on Celestia's face as she hung her head, deep in thought, no longer competing with Pinkie and the transformed Knightmare in an eating contest.

'I bet you feel really bad now don't you? You should. Bitch.'

Once we had finished our meals, we all patted our stomachs, satisfied.

"Well, we best be headed back to the ship for some shuteye. We rescheduled the concert to tonight, and I don't want to pass out halfway through."

"I thought you got a good night's rest, or, was there something that kept you up?" Aoi asked.

"No, I slept fine."

"Then how are you going to sleep now?" Knightmare asks. Gilda gives me a sultry smile.

"Well, since he's still recovering, he should be fine, but if not, I'm sure we can find SOMETHING to do to burn off all that energy." Aoi gives a chuckle while Celestia puts on a knowing smile, and the changeling just looks at us confused. Gilda winks at him and throws her arm around me, and his eyes shoot wide open in realization.

"Wha...... no. Hell no! Since when?"

"Two.... maybe three months ago?" I answer.

"That much hate should NOT be reproducing." And then he storms out of the room, thoroughly disgusted. Aoi puts on a lecherous grin.

"All hands on deck captain."

"Ha ha, very funny. Are you sure you should be talking like that with Rainbow Dash sitting right across the table?" He looks to see the mare with a nasty case of bed-head raise an eyebrow at us. She glances back and forth between Gilda and I before she finally gets it, not having paid attention to the conversation as she ate wearily.

"Oh...."

"I'm sure she already knows." He takes another bite.

"Well, let's get going. Aoi, be gentle with her alright?"

Twilight and the others nearly choke on their food at what I'm suggesting, Fluttershy turns beet red at the mention, and Rarity getting a look of scandal on her face. Aoi was just about to say something when I flew out the open window towards the ship, laughing the whole way, my crew following close behind.

I arrived on the ship and flopped in my bed, Gilda laying next to me, as I relax to properly digest my meal, when I burp out a scroll in green flame.

Griffin,

We need to talk. I will meet you after your concert tonight.

Princess Celestia.

"Hmph. I don't wanna."

"She was pretty bitchy at breakfast... I mean, what was her problem? Pegasi eat fish too. I've seen Dash eat one whole. She ended up choking on the bones and swearing off them for good, but the looks on the other flight camp kid's faces were priceless."

"Yeah..... probably just 'that time of millenium'..... no point in worrying about it right now. Let's get some shuteye."

Visions Of The Future (Also known as SPOILER): Beginning Of The End (75)

Visions Of The Future: Beginning Of The End

"And that is how you properly clean, disinfect, stitch, and bandage a wound. Next week's class will be basic self defense. Make sure you come, you need to know this stuff." Fillies and colts, as well as full grown ponies, griffins, and even some of the more intelligent, and not to mention peaceful, diamond dogs living in Equestria stood, collected their belongings, and left the school house. After I nearly died..... again...... at the battle of the deeps, with Gilda's pregnancy coming along, I couldn't keep doing it. What if I died? She'd have to raise our son or daughter as a single mom, and I'll be damned if I'm not there when my kid needs me. I won't be like my parents and abandon them. Let Aoi, Ember, and the rest of the several dozen humans that got thrown here lead the revolution and save the world. I did my part to get the ball rolling, and I don't mind passing so my teammates can be the ones to score.

After getting therapy for my issues, Celestia suggested that I be an instructor for emergency procedures in order to get the masses ready in case of disaster. Of course, what better place to start than the ground zero of... everything ever, Ponyville. The pay is good, and we live comfortably. The New Dominion is thriving under the council's guidance, with some helpful hints from Equestria. Don't get me wrong, I'm still large and in charge, and they send me reports on whatever's happening, but things are going just as I planned. For the most part, they can take care of themselves. Especially since the sea ponies started taking an interest in the surface world again and began helping out, making sure we don't ruin the ecology, sending some helpful tsunamis whenever we get attacked, and helping us build our own version of Cloudsdale. Things should be smooth sailing.

A scream from outside interrupted the bliss I felt from sharing my knowledge, with annoyance that even when I'm retired, I still can't catch a break.

"Oh, what is it now!" I shouldn't have asked. A regiment of a dozen or two living shadows sailed through the small town, moving like dementors but without the flesh or cloak, only wicked swords black as an empty night sky, and a small creek of blood flowing beneath them as they cut down or any ponies they came across. Most escaped, some weren't so lucky. They were like the basic heartless from Kingdom Hearts mixed with the Nazgul from LotR, and all before them fled in fear, save for the mismatch of ponies, griffins, and diamond dogs that made up my emergency response class.

"Oh bloody hell." My mechanical wing revved, the chainsaw wing blade on the front portion springing to life as I grabbed the broken Hades by the handle. Ever since I snapped the blade on Ember's thick hide, things just went down hill in my fight, and I never saw fit to repair it. The jagged, broken edge still served as a weapon quite well by the fact that I was able to cleave three of the fiends with one swing before my strike was stopped by the forth. It's souless, glowing eyes glared at me before it was knocked off guard by a shot of magic from a Pumpkin Cake, and the head kicked from it's neck by her twin, Pound Cake. It dissipated into a wisp of black smoke before it's sword clattered to the ground and followed its master into oblivion.

"Thanks you two, but get yourselves and all the others into the shelters. Let the professionals handle this." I instructed as my wing cut through another shade that was coming up from behind them.

Giving quick salutes, the pair took charge of the class and brought them to one of the several bunkers installed recently, in case of just such an event.

"Anyone who doesn't know how to kick ass, get your flanks underground. Everyone else, with me. They ain't taking us without a fight!"

Ten of my former students from the first class, having passed my course, took up positions behind me with their spears, swords, and mark 1 beam rifles. The mark 2's were reserved for actual military, but I preferred using mark one's anyways. Less finicky, meaning you don't need a degree in marksmanship to use it.

"Ya got another thing coming to ya if you think you can take OUR town! Not a one of ya's gonna survive this!" My booming voice caught the attention of the smoke creatures who immediately stopped what they were doing, many in the middle of swinging their swords to cut innocent ponies, and started making their way towards our group as the thankful civilians fled to safety.

"You all remember what I taught you?" I turned to ask my graduated students.

They nodded, took a deep breath, and in order to steel their nerves for what they were about to do, let out a piercing war cry which when joined by my own made the trees themselves shake.

"WRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

'I thought I got out, and they pull me back in. Celestia is going to want to hear about this.'

Equestrian Idol (76)

Equestrian Idol

I groan as I pull myself out of bed, my joints popping. "Hey Gilda, rise and shine. The moon is up and it's time to show these ponies what a REAL party is." She hops off the mattress, wobbling a little before giving me a quick nuzzle.

"Let's go."

We leave the ship, still moored at the fifth tower where below, at the gala building, a number of ponies are cleaning up my...... mess...... from the previous night, and fly down towards the courtyard where the stage had been set up for the concert, as I had asked. We air lifted the rest of the cats down as well, leaving only Steelhorn and Geirmund on the ship, along with the recovering Trixie. I head backstage to fine the crusaders there, beaming.

"That was SO AWESOME! I mean, not as awesome as Rainbow Dash but, the way you just went crazy and tossed that big guy out the window." Scootaloo said, hyperactive as the crusaders usually are.

'Well, at least they didn't see what happened AFTER that, they'd be scarred for life'

"Yeah, I guess it was pretty cool. No big deal, he was ruining the party."

"So, what are you going to sing?" Sweetie Belle, with her squeaky voice which for some reason I didn't mind....

"Can't tell you, it would ruin the surprise." The three crusaders gave a disappointed 'awwwww' and walked away with their heads down to go take their place in the crowd. Truth is, without Trix to play the music, I have no freaking clue what I'm gonna do.....

"Come on, chin up. Here." I toss them each a pair of sunglasses, my backups. What? You thought with all the fights I get into I never broke a pair? I have sunglasses stashed all over Equestria in case of a...... no. I'm not going to finish that sentence.

"AWESOME!" The cheer before running off.

"Heh, kids."

"Do you like children?" Gilda asked, her question's hidden agenda is not lost on me, but to my credit I didn't cough or choke on the air. Instead I gave a proper response, which means.....

"Don't really know. I never hung around them much." ....no response at all.

"Hmm......"

"Well, let's not worry about that right now. Time to put on a show!"

The curtains open, revealing Nadene, Gilda and I. Etch and Growl were organizing the other cats and griffins, while Maria and the Freuds sans Gear were back stage. My eyes scanning the crowd, I spot Aoi and his group on a rooftop, and Knightmare sitting where else but with Celestia. I shoot a glare at her, still not having forgiven her from breakfast, and she seems to notice it, though she doesn't change position. Wait.... Celestia... hmm, that gives me an idea. I turn back to the crowd.

"Hey everyone. Crazy night last night am I right?" The crowd murmurs in disapproval.

"Oh come on, it wasn't THAT bad was it? Only two million in property damage.... and for once, it's not even my fault!" That brings some nervous chuckles from the crowd.

"Okay, so, maybe the red carpet was me, but that's what happens when certain princesses decide to play pranks." Now the crowd is loosening up a bit more, laughing more freely. These are Canterlot ponies, even more haughty than the Manehatten ones, so it'll take a bit of work to get them in the party mood.

"Well, this is the last stop on our concert tour, before we get back to being revolutionaries, and this is also the place where we're picking up anyone who wants to come who we think we can use. So, since this is our last stop, I figure we could sing something a little more....... sophisticated."

"Grif... what are you doing?" Gilda whispers in my ear.

"Winging it. Just trust me on this....." I look back across the crowd and point my finger, panning through them, before I stop on the changeling and princess in the upper rows, along with a fully recovered Luna. 'What the heck happened after Ember left? Not really any of my business to know, but still....'

"Hmm, let me see, where are you......... THERE! Knightmare, Princess Celestia, come on down!" I act the part of searching for drama, even though I already know where they are. They begin looking around, confused.

"Yeah! You heard me! Get on down here!" The crowd murmurs at what I'm suggesting, and I can see Celestia face-hoof from here.

'Haha, VENGEANCE! If she comes down, then she's gonna have to sing, and if she doesn't, everyone will think she's afraid to. Either way, her reputation will NOT be the same after this. Besides, without Trix to play the music, I don't really have any other options.'

They look to each other and share some quick words before begrudgingly flying down from their lofty perch and onto the stage. She gives her subjects a warm smile before turning to me. "What exactly is your plan Griffin?"

"Oh.... you'll see...." I snicker as Knight buzzes around on stage, looking excited. I walk up to him and whisper in his ear. After I finish telling him my plan, he looks at me with a great big smile.

"So, think you can get her to do it?"

"I'll do it, but you owe me for this." Celestia says, coming up from behind us.

"Oh come on Celly, it'll be fun an... wait, how did..... did you just.... why is everyone a mind reader?"

"Just try not to think to hard about puberty." Knightmare giggles, then stops.

"Wait, who's going to owe you, him or me?"

"Both of you."

"Anything for you milady." Geez, what a dork.

"I'll just call it paying you back for this morning." I turn back to my crew after passing Celestia a microphone.

"Ready? Gilda, Nadene, you prepped?"

"Here we go. Just sing, and don't worry about it too much. Knight, you're guitar. We won't be using the music spell since Trixie is out of commission. Nadene knows drums, apparently it's a tribal thing..... and... I'm on keyboard...." I say the last part a bit depressed, since I have to use that damned instrument again. Knightmare spins his guitar off his back, pulling a quick riff, while I sit down at the keyboard and Nadene starts tapping her drumsticks together.

"A one! Two! One, two, three four!"

Celestia began sweating as she sang, her memory spell allowing her to know the words. She closed her eyes as the music poured forth, wincing to open them when she heard...... cheering? She opened her eyes all the way to see that her beloved subjects were not mocking her, or booing, but were actually pleased with her performance. She turned back to me with a determined look in her eye, then back to the crowd and began singing full force. Knightmare still rocks his guitar, Nadene pounding the drums, and I play this blasted keyboard. I hate it. I'm good at it, but I fucking HATE it. It's easier with Equestrian ones, because they have innate magic to guide the less dexterous hooves of ponies, but it's still annoying.

The song comes to an end, and Celestia looks at me, proud.

"It wasn't that bad, was it Celly?" She smiles at the crowd and whispers out of the corner of her mouth.

"I'm going to end you in the most horrible way I can imagine." I laugh at her reaction.

"Well, that won't be half as bad as what I've already been through. Besides, if I'm gone, who will you look to to liven up your gray little life?" Knightmare pokes me as if to say, 'Hello, right here?' I ignore it.

"You underestimate me." Celestia's voice resonates in my ear AND mind. I grin deviously.

"And you, me."

Knightmare rolls his eyes. "OK, so everyone's underestimating each other, what do we do now?" I ignore his question, as I'm already moving to phase two of the plan. I scratch my chin and turn back to the crowd.

"Thank you Canterlot! That was your very own Princess Celestia singing 'Call Me'. For the NEXT song..... I'm thinking...... Prince Blueblood." The crowd looks around till the pompous white unicorn found, and a spotlight comes to rest on him.

"Who.... ME?" The suddenly very nervous prince asks.

"No, the white unicorn behind you!" Knightmare mocks, then stops for a moment to think as he realized just exactly WHO was behind him. "Better yet, Fancypants! Why don't you join up, too?" They look at each other before giving a nod.

"Come on down you two, you're the next contestants on Equestrian Idol!" I can barely hold a straight face as I say it, and Knightmare looks like he's about to crack up. I can only imagine what horrors are going through their heads right now. Celestia moves off to the side, not quite wanting to leave the stage just yet, as two of my griffins fly up and airlift them down.

"Psst, Griff, Princess....this is gonna friggin' rock!" The changeling snickers.

"Of course it is, it WAS my idea after all." I join his laughter.

"Most nobles receive voice training at a young age, many of them sing at a professional level." The princess points out, prompting everyone on stage to give her a deadpan stare.

"DUH! That's the point. Nobody wants to listen to bad singing. So, I was thinking we let the bug pick which song they sing. Any ideas?" The unicorn pair are brought in front, and while Fancypants wears an air of calm confidence, Blueblood looks like a nervous wreck. I give the mike to Knight, my co-host for this show.

"Alright everypony, the song that these two are going to sing is a little something from home called "Sexy and I Know It" Have fun you two." He grins deviously at the high class pair, now with Fancypants being the nervous one and Blueblood looking like he's actually going to enjoy singing this.

The performance was good, they sang it well, but the lyrics, and the fact that it was those two singing it made it absolutely hilarious. Knightmare and I, as well as my crew, were rolling on the ground laughing, while the crowd, mostly comprised of mares, watching two 'hunky' stallions sing about how sexy they are brought them all to embarrassed giggles. I struggle to right myself as I wipe a tear from my eye.

"Alright, alright....... whew........ Pretty good guys, not bad at all. Let's seeeeeeee...... Knight, you wanna pick the next one?" The insectoid pony grins evilly, motioning for me to come closer, and whispers in my ear as I nod.

"Uh huh. Uh huh. Ohh, that's good. Do it."

"LUNA! Come on down! It's yoooouuuuurrrrrr tuuuuurrrrnnnnn!!!!" A heavy metal riff begins playing, apparently caused by the buzzing of Knightmare's wings.

"Oooooh no. I'm NOT going down there....." She stamps her hoof to get the point across. I look at her intensely.

"Do I need to come up and get you?"

"The Mistress of the night is afraid of a lil' music? Oh this is RICH!" My partner in crime taunts while Celestia whispers in my mind.

"Leave this one to me."

With a flash, Celestia is gone, then back again with her still protesting sister.

"Glad you could make it, Woona." I say intentionally into the microphone, causing a peal of laughter to come from the crowd as the midnight blue pony turns red with blush.

Knightmare glomps Luna, "Dun' worry, Woona, ish an ad'awwable name!"

"Remove thine appendages from mine neck! I will not be made a part of this foolishness!"

"Oh yes you will, or do I need to tell everyone about your abacus?" Her eyes turn to pinpricks, focused on me.

"You wouldn't dare......"

"All of Canterlot knowing about little Abbey..... oh how drole"

"Oh! I heard you singing lil' Abby to sleep last night! Why else would I want you to join! You're a B-E-A-UTIFUL singer!" The changeling joins in my taunting.

Luna grumbles. "FINE."

Knight starts playing the song over again from the start, and I hop backstage to relax for a bit Fairly soon, the lyrics come in, and Luna's hauntingly beautiful voice brings the entire crowd to silence as they listen.

[This song is pretty long, you may just want to sit and listen for a bit.]

"Gilda, you having fun?"

"Not really, I mean, we're just getting the nobles to sing, we're not really even needed right now."

"Truth is, I actually kind of wanted a break. We've been doing this for a while, and I figured for our last show, we'd let the crowd have some fun. Besides, it's part of the plan. Unless we get them warmed up by having icons they know and love doing it, these suits will never get out of their shells. Luna is the last one anyways, then we'll get back to our show."

"Okay." She gave me a quick peck, (not like a bird, like a kiss moron) and we headed back out onto stage as the song ended.

After the song is over, I walk back out on stage to the crowd cheering for their lesser known ruler. "See Luna? It's not so bad. As if ponies are honestly going to boo their princess."

"The trolling griffin is correct, dear sister, your singing is quite good." The elder sister adds.

"Well, I admit that it was...... fun." At this line, I immediately wink at Knightmare, since we're bothing thinking 'The fun has been doubled!' right about now.

Knightmare chuckles and winks back. His face asking silently, 'Wanna make a literal shout out?'

I nod back, the entire silent conversation having taken about a second, before we both belt out.... "THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!" The infamous line is heard by just about everyone. Most of the ponies looked around confused, while a small group burst out laughing, and Luna face-hoofed.

"Anyone from Ponyville ought to remember THAT line!" The bug laughs.

"Alright, alright, enough making fun of Luna. Well, you've all had your fun, so.... get off my stage. Go on, you heard me. Back to the audience with you."

Knightmare pulls Celestia and Luna in close as they start heading off stage. "Shall we, ladies?"

"Not you Knight, you're staying up here for the rest of the show."

Knightmare stops in his tracks and turns to look at me, "Whojibebewhadda?"

"You heard me." After a moment's pause, he bows to the Prncesses and walks back onto the stage, most likely wondering what the hell I'm up to. I bring him and Gilda into a huddle.

"So, Knight, you know Lonely Boy by the Black Keys?"

He blinks and frowns, "Heard of it, never actually listened too it."

I back away slightly and look at him in disdain. "Seriously?"

"I'm willing to bet you've never heard of Sabaton, either."

"Different tastes I suppose........"

He nods. "Yeah, pretty much. Then again, there are some classics no one can top."

"Hmm, I wonder if.... would that work? Hold still for a second, I'm gonna try something... Don't give me that look, it isn't dangerous.... at least I think it isn't........... Memoria a Musica."

Knightmare sits for a moment, listening to music that wasn't there as I fed it straight into his brain using an already charged gem. When it was done, he played the first bar flawlessly and smiled.

"Gilda, you mind taking keyboard? I'm going on the mike."

"Sure." The she broke the huddle to get to her station.

"Knight, you're gonna sing the chorus with me, got it?" The changeling nods, "Rock on."

Well I'm so above you
And it's plain to see
But I came to love you anyway
So you tore my heart out
And I don't mind bleedin'
Any old time to keep me waitin'
Waitin', waitin'

Oh, oh-oh oh, I got a love that keeps me waitin'
Oh, oh-oh oh, I got a love that keeps me waitin'
I'm a lonely boy
I'm a lonely boy
Oh, oh-oh oh, I got a love that keeps me waitin'

Well your mama kept you but your daddy left you
And I should've done you just the same
But I came to love you
Am I going to bleed?
Any old time you keep me waitin'
Waitin', waitin'

Oh, oh-oh oh I got a love that keeps me waitin'
Oh, oh-oh oh I got a love that keeps me waitin'
I'm a lonely boy
I'm a lonely boy
Oh, oh-oh oh I got a love that keeps me waitin'

Oh, oh-oh oh I got a love that keeps me waitin'
Oh, oh-oh oh I got a love that keeps me waitin'
I'm a lonely boy
I'm a lonely boy
Oh, oh-oh oh I got a love that keeps me waitin'

As the night wore on, playing music next to Knightmare, I actually started having FUN with the guy. Considering before yesterday I was ready to kill him out of sheer annoyance, this is a pretty big improvement, although I still don't wanna hang out with him long term. Now that things were winding down, it was time for the finale.

"You ready for the big finish?" As if I even need to ask.

"Griffin...THIS....is what I LIVE for! EVERYPONY! MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!" The crowd just keeps cheering and hooting. I'm glad I was able to get these stiffs to lighten up, but we have a show to do.

"YO! PONIES! SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" That got their attention. We wait for the crowd to die down before we begin, my co-host grabbing the mike.

"Now, it has come to my attention that some of our esteemed nobility disliked our little...incident at the Gala... Griffin, would you like to do the honors?"

"I'm not apologizing........" He rolls his eyes.

"Fine then, allow ME to appologize for the trouble we've caused..." He grins and begin buzzing his wings, making a familliar tune.. "SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKIN!"

When the lyrics begin, he full on body checks me off the stage, where I am caught by a number of ponies who proceed to 'crowd surf' me, slowly passing me over their heads towards the back of the crowd.

"Hehe, I guess It's alright."

"Ah, screw it. Here I come!" Gilda dives off the stage as well, followed by a giggling Nadene.

As they come up beside me, I yell over the roaring crowd. "And now we make our escape. Celestia, you will forever remember this as the day you ALMOST caught Captain Griffin North!" A look of surprise comes over her face, her horn glows, and she disappears. Her bug buddy begins chasing me, trying to catch us, followed by several others as the entire crew takes to the skies, seeing this as our chance to escape the havoc of the concert.

As we reach the ship, we are surprised to find that Steelhorn and Geirmund are sitting on the deck, bound and gagged, while Celestia is sipping tea at a small table on board.

"Going somewhere?"

Then Knightmare lands and slides unexpectedly, tripping over me and landing right in front of his idol, gasping. "I...almost had 'em, Princess..." I simply stare at the princess who teleported aboard my unguarded ship. Rule number one, NEVER leave your valuables unguarded. I let out a sigh.

"Right, you can teleport...... Well, let's get this whole 'you murdering me' thing done and over with."

Celestia's horn flashes, and I suddenly find that the whole world has taken on a shade of Pinkie Pie. Never mind, it's just me. All of me, hot pink.

"Easy enough." The alicorn says smugly while my crew begins snickering silently, hoping I don't hear them. The head of the Celestia fan club bursts out in an uncontrolled fit of laughter. My reaction is to scratch my chin and speak stoically.

"Only the manliest of men are not afraid to wear pink. You'll have to do better than that if you want to break me though."

She walks around me, appraising my new colour scheme. In other words, checking me out. Yeah, you think I missed it when your eye dropped down to look at that? I didn't, Molestia. Suddenly she stands up straight.

"There's a certain ceremony you will be attending tomorrow morning, no excuses."

"Don't wanna.

Knightmare chuckles, turning into Pinkie Pie....Cupcakes version, "Oh, we have WAYS of making you TALK....er, cooperate!"

"Knight, you didn't say it with v's for w's, and now it's totally been ruined."

"Okay then. Ve have VAYS of making you TOCK!"

"Too late, the moment has passed, but fine, whatever, I'll be there. I assume there's something else you wanted to talk to me about?"

Celestia's expression turns serious, but her eyes are filled with pity, "There is. I'm sorry."

"Uh...Gilda....cute cat lady....I think it's best we give 'em time alone..." The bug says, for once able to read the mood properly as he changes back to his normal form and heads inside with my crew.

I took a deep breath, then let it out. "Alright, this is going to be more painful than being pink, so lets get it over with." I fold my legs under me and lay down on the deck in the same position as the sphynx in Egypt, and stare into the night sky as Celestia walks up behind and to the right, then sits as well.

"I'd like to start with how I'm sorry about what happened at breakfast, I did not mean to upset you and I apologize for how my words may have reopened old wounds."

"Yeah, whatever. Apology accepted." I don't really care, I got her back at the concert.

"Second, I'd like to tell you a little about my past, my history before I came to Equestria and overthrew Discord, it is not so different from the path I see before you. In fact, you remind me of a younger me, and that is something I find most disturbing." Aaaand I'm not just going to get a lecture, but story time as well. Aren't I lucky? Gag.

"So, you weren't always the 'loving mother' you come off as. I figured as much. Why else would your subjects have a completely irrational fear of you? The only way anyone acts so afraid around someone so...... benevolent..... is if they have a reason to be. They can sense it." She ignored what I was saying, lost in her thoughts. Then I figured it out. She wasn't telling me her story, she wasn't telling anyone. She was remembering it for herself.

"I was captured once, did you know that? Imprisoned by a being as foul as he was powerful, he treated me in equal parts a trophy and a plaything." She sighs, a slightly glazed look in her eye.

"Let me guess, he taunted and tortured you everyday, until you finally had enough, escaped, and gutted him like the pig he was?" I said more as a statement than a question. Still, she ignored it.

"He called himself The Herald, and he took his pleasure from my body, in whatever sadistic ways you can imagine and more. Eventually, he managed to break me. My will and body broken upon the wheel of torture and terror, a maddened husk of lust and rage was all that remained of the once proud Celestia. This lasted for centuries, my memories faded into obscurity and I began to believe that this had always been my life. That anything before was but a fevered dream."

"This herald sounds like a real asshat, although, the important question is..... if he was just the herald, what was he the herald of?" She continues to ignore me, her eyes no longer the bright, vibrant eyes of a joyful immortal. For a brief moment before she regained her composure, Celestia looked..... old.

"This is supposed to be the part where my knight arrives in shining armor upon a noble steed, shatters my chains, slays the demon, and carries me off into the sunset, isn't it?" She asked, finally paying me some manner of attention.

"No. Real world. That kind of crap doesn't happen, unless it's Discord. He's the only one cheesy enough to pull something like that off." Celestia sighs again.

"Eventually, The Herald grew bored of his prize and cast me aside in favor of another. I was left at the gates of his castle, shaved bare, bloody, beaten, and fueled by a dark, dark rage. By that point I belonged fully to him, body and soul, and the thought that my beloved master had no more need for me drove me to the blackest pits of the universe and to powers so old even the gods had forgotten them. That of Hate, Jealousy, Rage, and Blood." She almost seemed to shiver at the thought.

"With the darkest of magics coursing through my veins, I returned to his palace. The walls shattered beneath my onslaught, the guards buckled beneath my might and were cast aside, and I tore his newest concubine's soul to bloody shreds in my fury. But I wasn't done, not by far. I battled with the Herald atop the Towers of Midnight, and I nearly fell once more. But he erred, he had not counted upon my wielding of powers as dark as his own, and eventually...he lost." I could feel a small inkling of rage bubbling inside her, her mane standing out straight and spiky, her eyes and facial features full of wrath, her coat graying slightly, and the air itself permeated with a hatred so strong you could feel it like it was a tangible object, small sparks on her skin, not quite arcing. I nearly jumped out of my feathers when I saw this, but she regained control, and returned to normal, taking a few deep gasps of air to once more regain her composure after her mane fell flat and sweat appeared on her brow.

"I cast him down," She continued her story, "down into the deepest pits of the earth and wrapped him there in chains forged in the heart of a dying star until the End Times. There he remains still, a fragment of his former self, condemned to an eternity of nothing but pain and thoughts of revenge. Do you know why I am telling you this, Griffin? No matter, I will tell you." She took another deep breath.

"I know what it's like, to run off of rage and hate, to turn all the wrongs done to you into strength. I KNOW the kind of power it gives, the addiction, the beauty of seeing all the horrors inflicted upon you done a thousandfold to your enemies." She paused. "And I know what it will do to you if you reach the end of your path."

"And that is?"

"You will die, Griffin. You will die alone, all your friends slain and buried with only the tears you cannot shed to remember them. I will not tell you what choices to make, I will not command you to cease, and I will not stop you if you choose to walk this path. I can offer you only the wisdom of one who has walked this path before you. Let go of your anger, let go of your hate, or you will never know peace." I sat and looked at her for a second, thinking very carefully before I spoke.

"Do you think I like being the way I am? Of course not, I hate it. But that doesn't change the fact that this is me. If I let go of my hate, will there be anything left? Or, will I be an empty shell? This anger is a part of who I am, so large a piece of me that if it vanishes, I really WILL die. And I don't mean metaphorically. I let go of a small portion of it in that club, NeckTie's, and I collapsed once I got outside." At this, she seemed genuinely concerned, as well as sorrowful and began pondering something. What, I do not know.

"Besides. That won't happen. It only happens if you let your hate control you, not the other way around." She got up, walked in front of me, and looked straight into my eyes.

"Hate is a drug, Griffin. There is no control."

"If hate is a drug, then currently, it's my prescription. My medication. I know all this already. I know I need to let go of my hate, to not let it poison me, but I don't know how. By this point, it's all I know. I've never been without, and, until I've done what I need to do, I can't let it go." I let out a breath, then took another as our eyes remained locked in a what looked like to any who couldn't hear us to be a contest of wills between a goddess and a madman.

"And what of the end?" She asks. I begin laughing. I laugh, and I laugh, and I laugh, until a slight amount of fear makes itself present in even her eyes. I stand, and push my beak right up against her muzzle to stare straight in her pupils.

"You're telling me I'll die all alone? That happened YEARS ago. Only since coming here have I started to live again. Hate may be a drug, and I might not be able to control it on my own, but that's why I have my family. We all have our own darkness, but so long as we stick together, we can pull each other back from the brink. Blood is thicker than water, but fire is stronger than steel. So long as we keep each other in check, none of our embers will turn into an inferno. For every time I have lashed out in anger, NOT ONCE has it been at those I care about, and it NEVER will." And with that, I collapse on the deck, splayed out. Just being in Celestia's presence during her relapse, combined with still being on the mend, and tired after the concert was just too much. I was still conscious, but I lay on my side and watch the sun princess flick a tear out of her eye as she stood.

Celestia turns away and walks to the railing of the deck, spreading her wings. "There are greater powers to call upon than those of the Dark Side, young Padawan. One of them is standing behind you." I would have laughed at the Star Wars reference, if it hadn't been so fitting, and I hadn't been so damn tired. As for standing behind me, Gilda, Nadene, and Knightmare were there. They never actually went inside, they were spying the whole time. I'm not sure how I missed that.

"Hey! Celestia!" She turns her head back as she prepares to fly off into the night, and looks at me laying prone on the deck, struggling to lift my head. "Once this is all over, once I don't need my hate anymore......... do you think you could......um..... do you think you could....... help?....... me?"

Her eyes, once full of worry, suddenly become warm and motherly, and she smiles, "I would be honored."

The changeling comes closer and looks at me with an unreadable expression. "I'd gladly help if I can." He then takes his position next to the princess, and the pair fly off back to the castle.

"Well, I'm.... tired. Coming to bed Gilda?"

Gilda nods, and supports me as we go to our bedroom. I lay on the bed, asleep before I hit the mattress. I feel a claw rubbing my head and a soft voice whisper. "Shh, it's okay....." And that night, I dreampt. Not the pleasant dream I've been having of late, but dreams of misery and pain. Dreams of darkness, and of blood.

Paperwork (77)

Paperwork

"Mrhrhm, stupid princess...... No, I don't like giant bees.......Why would I eat a horseshoe? ZZZzzzzzzzzz." Apparently, my dreams got much better during the latter half of the night. And by better, I mean just confusing instead of horrifying. Of course, I won't remember it when I wake up.....

*Thump*

"Hmm? Huh? Ergh, five more minutes....."

*Thump thump*

"Alright, alright, stupid squirrel. I'm up. I'll get you your damn peanut." I pull myself out of bed and walk over to the end table. I begin sifting through it to look for a bag of nuts to feed the persistent critter outside my window.

"Wait a tick........ airship. There are no squirrels. Then, window?"

*Thump thump*

I groggily walk to the window, and nearly jump out of my skin when I see Aoi there, hanging from one of the mooring lines, giving me a mock salute.

"Permission to come aboard?" Even though he's outside, I can hear him clearly. I open the window so we can have a proper conversation.

"Yeah, head up top, I'll be there in a sec..... damn early bird can keep his worm."

"Thanks." He replies simply before climbing up the rope, his companions behind him. I shut the window and nudge Gilda awake.

"Wakey wakey, got friends coming to visit, and I haven't cleaned the house top to bottom."

"You go meet em. I'm tired." She responded.

"Fine......" I grumble.

I head up to the top deck, opening the ship's door, and gently flap my wings to get the blood flowing, as well as pass over some of the crew members who slept out there to catch a breeze. I spot Aoi, tiptoeing over them, trying not to wake them.

"Welcome 'board the Possibility, finest airship anywhere...... make yourself at home, but stay out of the booze. We just restocked and I don't wanna run out of rum before I get any. For some reason, the rum is always gone, but nobody knows who drinks it."

"I don't drink rum anyway... so that won't be a problem..." He deadpans.

"Well, anyway, let's head down to the mess. Maria is usually up early cooking for us, and if we don't get there before these guys, we'll have to wait for our food."

"By the way, you might want to start setting sail....." He trails off.

"Huh, why's that?"

"Princess Celestia's insistent on having you attend the knighting ceremony....... Unless you want another segment added to your long name, better get going..." My eyes turn to pinpricks.

"Knighting..... there is a ceremony tomorrow morning that you WILL be attending, no excuses....... oh shit! Up and attem boys! We have work to do!"

"I thought you'd might react that way..." He gives a slight chuckle.

"Okay, Aoi, here's the deal, we gotta pick up our newest volunteers, but we can't let Celestia catch us."

"How do you suggest we do that?

"We show up to the ceremony so she knows we're there and is off guard, then bail when she doesn't pay attention. I'll have my crew go through who's joining while we're there."

"Then we go off, grabbing the mooring lines to the ship as she grabs the sword?"

"Nah, we'll be in the back room, 'preparing' for our public appearance, then go out the window while she's giving the speech. If we make a public exit, she'll just grab us, magic and all."

"You've got a point there..."

"Well, we can't do this on an empty stomach, let's get breakfast first, then get going." I see Eol and Ubi, Aoi's companions, looking around at the marvel of the ship, their attention suddenly snapping to me at the mention of food."

"I'll meet you down there..."

"If you don't know the way, just follow the signs. Heaven knows I got lost in here one too many times before I had directions put up." Then I walk off to go get some food while the getting's good. Maria, as usual, was already up and getting breakfast ready, along with several other cats and griffins working the kitchen. She was comically wearing a chef's hat, and barking out orders to the rest who were working frantically to keep up. The shy little griffin really knew how to be assertive in her own environment.

"The captain needs to recover his strength, so we'll only serve him the best. Does this look like the best to you? I didn't think so. Make sure to use fresh ingredients, and damnit, hurry it up, we have mouths to feed!"

"Hey Maria..."

"Oh.... um.... good morning captain." She took off her hat and bowed. It was adorable.

"Um......... as you were."

I sat and waited for my meal, not having ordered anything as I trust in Maria's judgement. Gilda slowly walked into the mess hall and took her seat next to me, while Nadene, Etch and Growl sat across from us. The three chairs on my right were empty, as I had them reserved for our guests. Aoi walks in with Shimmer and takes a seat next to me, while one of his companions sit by him, and Shimmer sits next to Nadene. The other diamond dog is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Eol?"

"Two of the crew members took him to the sick bay. He threw up over the side." The one I'm guessing is Ubi replied. I'll never remember their names.......

"You know, he really ought to just chew on some ginger root. Tastes terrible, but he won't get sick then...." Nadene stated. That's right. Ancient Chinese sailors used that as a remedy for seasickness.

"I'll be sure to tell him that." Aoi replies.

"Maybe we'll get him some after we're done eating. Hey, Maria! Save a plate for our guest, he's not feeling so well and won't be coming to breakfast." She gives a salute as she walks out, bringing several servings of glazed rabbit.

"Here you go, full of nutrients and cooked to perfection."

"Thank you, Itadakimasu..." Aoi says as he folds his hands.

"Now eat up, doctor's orders. You need to get your strength back." I don't bother with the pleasantries or any of that crap, merely nodding my head in silence for a moment before digging in.

"You don't have to tell me twice." The wolf says as he and everyone else begins eating as well. Maria takes a seat and begins eating with the rest of us, quickly emptying her plate before getting back into the kitchen.

"Geez, where'd that girl learn how to eat? America?" The rest of us eat slowly, savouring the rich flavour of the meal. Aoi shrugs.

"I used to eat the same way."

"Well, I've already had Cable inform the crew as to what they'll be doing. Gal makes a great comm's officer. I've placed her on the bridge so she can work the intercom. She may be a kind mare, but something about her voice demands that you listen to it. Probably why she's able to keep Gear under control so well."

"You mean Geirmund?" Aoi clarifies.

I take a few more bites, then empty my mouth before continuing. "Yeah. We just call him Gear though. I'll introduce you to everyone later, when we have more time. Anyways, they all know what they'll be doing, so hopefully they can finish before we need to make our escape. I don't feel like being knighted."

"Me neither. Why do you think I gave you the courtesy of the warning before hand?" He pouts, not liking the idea of belonging to the state.

"I owe you one for that, by the way. But since I'm giving you a ride, I guess we'll call it even." With that thought finished, I burped, and a scroll appeared in green flame from my mouth. Aoi jumps up, drawing his sword on reflex.

"What the hell?"

"Letter. Hmm. Let's see...... Yes Celestia, I know. I'm coming, geez, let me at least finish breakfast." That should be sufficient explanation. I wrote a hasty reply, then sent it off. "Submito ad Celestia."

Aoi sighs and sheaths his sword, taking his seat again. "A letter from the Princess, about the knighting ceremony no doubt. But why did you... burp it out?"

"Beats me. Might be because I got dragon blood in me, but then why doesn't Shimmer have the same thing? I don't know. It's magic. I ain't gotta explain shit. That, and she didn't say it was a knighting ceremony. Probably because she thinks if I know, I'll bail. And she's exactly right."

Aoi shakes his head. "You can spend your entire life looking, but you'll never find the answers to everything..."

"Such as how ponies hold things without fingers?" I chuckle.

"I have a few theories, but what would be the point... can't prove them..." He says, taking the last few bits of meat off the bone.

"Best to let the scientists worry about that. Way I figure, I don't teach Twilight my magic unless she can answer that one simple question. That's the difference between us I guess. Not knowing doesn't drive me crazy." I finish my meal as well, then stand to clean up my plate. Aoi stands as well, and we place our dirty dishes in the bin to be washed later.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, let's get going."

Before I leave, Gilda wraps her arms around me and gives me a quick nuzzle. "Hurry back, okay?"

"Will do."

As we reach the deck, my crew is working efficiently to try and get everything ready for the interviews, that way we can get them done and get out of here in record time. Hopefully we'll be able to pull it off.

"So, Griffin, mind telling me what exactly what she said?" Aoi asks.

"She said, 'Griffin, your presence is required in the atrium immediately. Don't even try to skip out or I will teleport you there myself.' Looks like she's not in the mood for any of my shenanigans. Too bad for her, I'm always a step ahead."

"Do tell...." He obviously wanted me to explain.

"Shadow manipulation and ghost clone. I had Trixie charge a couple gems with the spells before we even got here so I can activate them, even when she's burnt out. I'll set two of them, one for each of us, on stage, while we slip out as nothing but shadows. It really is amazing what you can do with magic and just a little bit of human ingenuity, although she was actually the one who thought of it. I swear, she may not be all that book smart, but on the field, she's a genius in practical magic."

"Brilliant, but will the princess fall for it?" He turns towards me, "Being millenias old, I'm not sure a simple shadow doppleganger would fool her..."

"Well, it was enough to fool you....." I smile as I walk out of the stairwell on to the deck.... a second time, the first me disappearing. "It's that seamless. Timing is everything. It won't last long, which means we need to be gone by the time it wears off. I'll plant them on the stage beforehand, then trigger them right before we bail."

"And you think her magic won't debunk it beforehand?" He raises an eyebrow as he moves towards the bow of the ship.

"That's the purpose of us showing up of our own free will. If she had to drag me there, she'd be on guard, but if I come of my own volition, and tell her I know it's a knighting ceremony, she won't see any need for the extra measure."

"Remember, as seamless as it might be, there's always room for a backup plan," He jumps backwards off the edge of the ship.

"I ALWAYS have a backup plan." I smirk.

He detaches one of the mooring lines and swings to the starboard. "Oh do you now? No wait, don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise."

I begin flapping my weary wings, stretching them, preparing to fly. "Hop on. We might as well arrive in style. Plus, if she thinks I'm your ride, that's even less reason to suspect that we'll leave. I need to give my wings a strength test anyways, to make sure they're healed properly."

He carefully climbs onto my back, not really sure of what he's doing, his feet too big for the pony sized straps. Instead, he grips my back with his legs to hold on.

"May as well try to fl---- WHOA!" He nearly falls off as I jump without warning, laughing all the way.

"Hold on! And don't touch the wings unless you want to know what a pancake feels like! Wooohoohoo!!" I do a couple simple rolls, then an inside loop, before finally straightening out. The wolf on my back is holding on for dear life.

"I know you do this every day, but ease up on the tricks...."

"Right, sorry. It's kind of a griffin thing..... actually, it's a pegasus thing too. You just..... need to fly you know? Ever wonder why birds sing, even when they're not looking for a mate? It's cuz they're happy. I mean, if you could fly, wouldn't you be?"

"Well, I don't know about flying... but whenever I make a great escape, falling from a skyscraper, or simply running across the rooftops...It feels..... liberating...."

"High up, wind in your hair, or, in this case feathers..... it's the whole world, right there at your fingertips. To be able to just...... go whenever you want. From up here, I can see forever. Can't believe I used to be afraid of heights."

Aoi snickers. "I learned not to be afraid. If fear is your only option, you've already lost."

"Well, I guess I wasn't really afraid of being high up as much as I was that someone was going to push me off, seeing as how they've actually tried a couple times." I gave a weak laugh. Aoi gives a sigh.

"... I always felt a little pleasure in pushing others off buildings. Seeing someone like a corrupt politician go from a great height, to the dirt of common ground... The irony of it all." He sighs again. Hmm, irony. He wouldn't hate me too much if I....... nah, it'd be cool.... totally. Yeah. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it! Here goes.

"Hey, Aoi. Have you ever heard of the express elevator to hell?"

"Took it a few times actually..." He gives a weak laugh.

"Well, I hope you enjoy the Tartarus Drop!" I flip myself upside down, flapping my wings in the reverse of their normal pattern so I stay up, and I feel the wolf slip off my back.

"Nani?" I've seen enough anime to know that's Japanese for 'What?'

"Not too much fun, is it?" I say, plummeting right next to him. He draws his sword.

"Actually, just like the old days. Ever try fighting like this?" He asks with a smirk.

"Not in a free fall..... I like your style!" I draw Hades and our blades meet mid drop, sending sparks off each other. He fans out the flaps of his clothing to create drag, then falls like a torpedo towards me from above. I bring my sword in front to block, then fan my wings, causing him to smash into the side of it and tumble off, but he recovers quickly and darts towards me. I open my wings, causing him to miss as I pull away. He straightens out, then rolls over. I look in his eyes and see his determination, then go into a nose dive, straight for him, holding my sword in a position to stab. He parries the strike, kicks me in the head and sends me tumbling as he darts below, then opens up again so I fall straight at his blade. I spin past the stab, grinding my sword on his own as I pass him. We've lost a lot of altitude, and we should probably stop goofing off at this point. I come up beside him and hold my sword out, not to stab, but to give him something to stand on.

"Ground is gettin close.... need a lift partner?"

"Oh yee of little faith." Wait, what? he's not seriously gonna just drop to the ground. He's got a parachute or something, right? To my relief, he removes his shirt and uses it as just that. He starts steering himself towards a nearby tower.

"I don't wear this just for looks you know...." Before he can reach it, I position myself under him and hover, causing him to land on my back, in his original position.

"Well, that's enough, let's get going before Celestia gets pissy. The ship is moving away from the castle as well. That way, it doesn't have as far to go when we make our escape, and it enforces that we're not gonna try and bail." We flew down to our destination, where the mane six stood there, ready to greet us. Celestia and Luna were there as well, somewhat surprised.

"What the hay was that all about?" Dash asked in a mix of being confused and impressed. I look to Aoi, and he looks back to me. We turn and answer as one.

"It's called falling with style." Toy Story nostalgia for the win........

"But, it looked so dangerous..." Fluttershy stated whimpering, flinching as she looked into Aoi's eyes.

"What? That? Naw. We do that all the time. That was just a bit of fun as a warm up." We both sheathe our weapons and approach the group.

"Y'all are nuts." The stetson wearing earth pony made her opinion known.

"A lot of people have said that about me..." Aoi returns calmly. Aj thinks for a moment, before making a retraction.

"Though, I can't say I disapprove of your eatin habits." She offers. We both accept with a smile, bringing her relief.

"Oh, by the way. Knightmare didn't get any because Chrysalis is a bitch, do you think you could get him something later?" I'm ignoring the fact that I was just as much of an asshole......... She nods.

"Griffin, I am glad you arrived in a timely manner.... for once. And you brought Aoi with you." Celestia said, glaring at me. The whole time I was wearing a boyish grin.

"I hear you wish to knight us?" Aoi asks looking around. I notice that a certain changeling isn't present. Probably inside the atrium already. It was a beautifully adorned building with a glass ceiling, several ornate sculptures and such along the walls.

"You are correct. I did not inform Griffin as I assumed he would not come if he knew....."

Without missing a beat, I responded. "What? And not get knighted? Being knighted is a huge honor. It means influence in the courts and everything. I would technically be a noble. As if I'd give that up, manipulator that I am." Aoi looked at me and blinked twice, probably a signal of some kind. Am I laying it on too thick?

"Anyways, the ship is over in the town square of the north section, going through the volunteer paperwork and junk. As soon as we're done here, we'll get on board and head out."

"You came to the knighting ceremony to get out of paperwork, didn't you........" Luna deadpans.

"Maaaaaaaaybe." I smiled innocently. They bought it.

'Haha! Thanks Lulu, I love it when they give me an alibi. Fatality! Flawless victory!'

"You are taking Aoi with you?"

"I'm simply hitching a ride with him to Gem Fido... It's important we get there as soon as possible."

"I see." she bowed her head in though, then looked back up. "Griffin, I'd like to speak to you privately, once we're inside, before the ceremony."

Celestia brought me inside to an office room, where Knightmare was seated, changed into a human form so he could eat.

"Dude, finally. I've been waiting for ever."

"I was eating breakfast alright? Gimme a break." Celestia cleared her throat and stomped a hoof, getting our attention as the door closed and she casted several spells. Likely wards for privacy.

"Now, you're no doubt wondering why I brought you both here....."

"Please get on with it..." She glared. "If you don't mind." She relaxed after I remembered my manners. "I'd like to set out as soon as possible, so the sooner we get through this, then the knighting, the sooner I can get out of your hair and start fighting the forces of tyranny."

"That is what I wish to speak with you in regards to. I would like you to take Knightmare with you."

The changeling and I both coughed and gave an exasperated, "WHAT?"

"Knightmare, your task in all this is to locate the other humans, and keep tabs on them through a tagging spell. Griffin, as you travel quite a bit and not only have an eye for spotting them, but also a way of showing them for what they really are, you would aid in uncovering them, determining the threat they pose to Equestria, and, if they are dangerous..... dealing with them. Other than that, you could most likely outfit him and train him far better than my own guard could." Celestia explained.

"Haha.... no."

"Agreed, no thank you princess." The changeling is agreeing with me? Oh what miracles will the world bring next? I'm serious. Does Equestria have a lottery? No... no.... I'm not gonna get sucked into the world of gambling.

"Why not? You are already bearing Aoi on your ship, are you not?" She asked.

"Major reason, I LIKE Aoi. I get along with him. Me and Knight are just at the point of not trying to kill each other."

"And what of you, Knightmare?"

"He scares me."

"Come now, it won't be that bad." She reasoned.

"Oh? Here is a list of reasons that are off the top of my head and I totally did not prepare beforehand *deep breath* for why Knightmare the changeling should NOT travel with me.

I don't like him. While I'm not just gonna kill him for that, I'm gonna be irritable the entire time, and I have enough to deal with already.

Love. Given that we're pirates, there ain't much, and what we do have isn't goinna be going to him to get nommed on. In fact, my presence alone would probably make him sick.

Trust. When people are hungry, they do crazy things. Desperate for food, he'd eventually try impersonating a crew member to feed on love that's meant for them. I find it VERY disturbing that Gilda and I could be doing certain 'activities', only for there to be a flash of green flame and I find myself in this guy... girl..... whatever, since changelings can change their gender at will to make it easier to feed. VERY DISTURBING." The bug looked disgusted that I'd even suggested that, then hung his head in acceptance that it was very well plausible. "On the flip side, if I go to my room and find Gilda in bed with another me, I will fucking keelhaul whoever it is, which would be a far lighter punishment to what she'd do. Same goes for my crew and their partners." This time he nodded in agreement.

Loyalty. I know he's your biggest fan, not to mention you brought him here to act out on your will. If he's on my ship, I need to know that he'll do what I say, when I say it. If something I'm doing goes against what's the absolute best for you personally, he won't do it. When crew members don't follow orders, bad things happen.

Let's face it, he's not the best in social situations. I mean, neither am I, for parties anyway, but I'm damn good at negotiation and diffusing hostility, as well as trickery and distraction. I've got a sharp, silver tongue, and communicate wordlessly what I'm really saying while spouting some other blather to keep the enemy distracted. He wouldn't pick up on it, and wind up either pulling a Leroy Jenkins or calling me out on what I said, so I'd have to explain it to him. The walls have ears, and the doors have eyes.

This concludes my oral report on why he's not getting on my ship." Whew. A well, thought out argument was really the best option here. And Celestia could definitely see the reasoning in that. So did the bug.

"Well, I know how to sit down and shut up, and if we're getting shot at, I'll either do what you say or hide in my room, but I don't like you either, I don't wanna starve, and yeah. I don't want to resort to sleeping with your crew members just to get a proper meal. Sure, this stuff tastes great, but I barely get any nutrition out of it." He said, waving a piece of hay bacon around.

The princess gave a groan, but relented. Our combined reasoning showed that the cons far outweighed the pros, and I doubt that she wanted to lose her little pawn so soon, after taking so much effort to bring him here.

"That was...... quite sound reasoning Griffin. I was not expecting that....."

"What, you thought I just went and did things all willy nilly? I've got Twilight level OCD and organizational skills. While I've never made a list specifically on how to make lists, I think things through a LOT. Weigh the benefits and disadvantages, and think up a number of plans and back ups. The only times I don't do that are when things happen suddenly. The dragon attack, Nightmare Octave... I didn't have any time to think up a plan, and I didn't have enough facts, so I just did it and hoped I got lucky. If my new scars are anything to show, I'm not lucky all the time. Most of the time, but not all. Which is why it is of the utmost importance that I keep the initiative, and press it continually. If I give any slack at all, I'll lose my grip and get crushed. Fortune favors the bold."

"Just when I thought I had you figured out..... you surprise me yet again....."

"Got to keep you on your toes. If the gala was any indication, with the opening of the Black Vault, things are just going to get worse. Here." I tossed her a scroll, which she caught in her magic.

"What is this?"

"Blueprints to the mark one laser rifle. My own crew uses these. Given that they need to be held, without adjustment they would be limited to use by pegasi who can fly and have their hooves off the ground, acting as sharpshooters with their enhanced vision, or unicorns who can levitate and charge the system simultaneously, using constant, sweeping attacks. These are what took out legions of changelings above Canterlot during the invasion, and I had Steelhorn adapt them for pony use at the start of our little tour in preparation for having unicorn crew members." Celestia seemed taken aback by what I had just given her, then gratefully packed the scroll into hammerspace, or wherever the hell these ponies put things. Invisible saddle bags?

"I suggest you start mass production and teach your guard how to use them, as well as ponies en mass. I think you'll find that they're quite a bit better than spears, given that you can bayonet them, and can provide offense for unicorns who aren't particularly skilled in magic, aka, regular citizens, who just use basic levitation. You should also be starting an emergency first response group consisting of both self defense and first aid, with established safe zones or bunkers capable of sustaining life for extended periods of time. That way ponies don't all run around screaming when disaster strikes, and have to wait for the guard to save them. Should also mean that they're less likely to get kidnapped if they have a proper defense, which makes my job easier because I'm not shipping pony slaves back to the capitol all the time. Puts pressure on the dogs, makes em more likely to see reason, and weaker if they try and fight."

Celestia... smiled? Not a warm smile, but that 'know it all' smile that pisses people off.

"Thank you for the generous gift, Griffin, I shall put it to use immediately. As for the emergency measures..... I have already been made aware of their apparent lack and have been working with my intelligence agency to devise and implement a proper emergency system." Someone already got to her about that? Oh well.

"I guess that concludes this meeting. Thank you again for coming Griffin. This means quite a lot. I suppose we should begin the ceremony, so you can be on your way. If you'll follow me please?"

The princess lead the two of us through several corridors to a backstage area where Aoi was waiting. Celestia motioned for me to stay there and walked through the curtains to the front of the stage, leaving Aoi and I behind it, Knightmare going with his beloved princess, loathed to be away from her form even a moment. This was the perfect opportunity to prepare our escape. We moved around behind the curtain as we heard the sun pony's voice on the microphone giving an introduction as we planted several gems at the corners of the stage, then took our places.

"Alright, that's the last one. Now, just stand with me behind the stage to let the gems read our positions." We waited for a couple moments....... "Aaaaand, we're good." There, we have a ten minute copy of us that will activate when I snap my claws together. I'll turn it on, then use a spell from my sword to make us appear as shadows, and we'll head out the back. Just have to wait for the right time. They won't move or say anything, they'll just stand there, and anything that touches them will pass through. It's basically a hologram." Aoi looked a little nervous, probably doesn't know whether it will work or not, but got himself under control as Celestia came back through the curtains after giving a speech about how the world is in turmoil and needs protectors, mentioning the elements of harmony, who were already out there.

"Alright you two, the bearers and Knightmare are already out front. Just, wait back here for the curtains to open, then come forward when I call your names."

"Got it." I smiled. She went back out on stage, and I turned to Aoi. It's time to use one of 'Umbra's' other meanings.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Ready." He replied.

I snapped my fingers, then stepped back as a perfect clone stood in my place. Unmoving, other than gentle false breathing, it would be indiscernible from me unless someone touched it or tried to talk to it. It's the same as Trixie's illusion, but is not controllable. Aoi looked impressed at his doppleganger as he took a few steps back as well.

"Climb on." I whispered the instruction to my fellow escapee. He did so, and I lightly flapped my wings, the sound barely reaching our duplicates.

"Umbra." The other meaning of the word, shadow, took it's effect as the darkness crept from the walls, covering our bodies and making us blend in with the void. "I am one with the shadows." I whispered the line of the Starcraft 2 stalker. With that, we left through the back. We passed right by several ponies, who paid us nothing more than a passing glance before blinking, shaking their heads, and dismissing it as a trick of the light or having worked too late last night.

Once we were out of the building, I clung to the shadows as much as possible before a stray beam of sunlight made the darkness leave us like mist before the wind. Since we were no longer obscured, I made sure to keep a wall between us and the atrium at all times, lest we be spotted. Once we were in the clear, I flew like a bat out of hell to the ship, where I ordered the crew, who had just finished getting the new recruits on board, to set sail due north to Gem Fido. Once we were on board, I swore I could hear the frustrated yell of Celestia from across the town.

"Too late princess...." I laughed as we sailed away in a cloud, hidden from the sun princess's vision. "For once. For fucking ONCE! I actually got to stick with plan A! I think you're a good luck charm Aoi, I've never had a plan pan out on the first try."

"Oh really?" He gives me a wise ass smirk.

"Yep. Every plan I've ever made, the first has always failed. I always had to go to plan B or plan C, and occasionally plan D. It's a good thing too, because I didn't have a plan B this time, other than just run our asses off."

He gives a slight laugh, then turns to the horizon, pulls a couple black pellets from his cloak and shows them to me over his shoulder.

"This was my plan B."

"Smoke bombs? Nice. And you said you weren't a ninja, liar."

"In all technicallity, They are the same thing.... I'm just the modern kind."

"Well, anyways. It's still way too damn early to be up after having such a late night. I'm gonna hit the sack. and try to get my sleep schedule somewhat back to normal. Welcome aboard."

"Pleasure. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here." He stares off the bow of the ship, towards our destination, while I head back to bed to get some much needed shuteye. Fighting a demon musician, a zoo, bleeding out, then a concert, and then carrying Aoi who, despite not being fat, it quite heavy, to and from the atrium in a mad attempt to flee a raging princess, I'm exhausted. I think I'll just sleep for a whole day now, then wake up the morning to reset my internal clock.

Back To Work (78)

Back To Work

I awoke in a cold sweat, the memory of a dark dream fading as the soft light of the setting sun entered my room through the window.

"Just what the hell did Celestia do to me the other day? She went all goth chick, and suddenly I'm having nightmares that I can't remember..... unnnng, I wanted to sleep till tomorrow morning so my internal clock would get a reset. Now I've gotta go run around to get tired again....... scratch that. I'll just wait for Gilda to come to bed. She's been awfully needy in that department lately. Still, I should at least go for a walk to get the blood moving again. Nothing would be more embarrassing than passing out from lack of blood during the act."

As I walked around the ship for a bit, I passed by the much unused training room and archery range. Since we just do it in open air or on the top deck, so we get more realistic conditions, there was no need for the room and while it had all the equipment, we never used it.,other than Growl on occasion for a quiet place. We'd probably be using it more often for unicorn training, once I went through the new recruits.

'Might as well work out a bit.'

I walked into the room, spotting Aoi and..... Ubi? Gah, I'll never remember it... anyway. They were standing on opposite sides of the room, there was a splintered arrow on the ground, and the wolf was sheathing his sword. Doesn't take a genious to figure that one out. It's also pretty impressive.

'Of course, the 'shoot an arrow at me so I can stop it' test. He had to do that one.'

"Hey guys. I'm up. You haven't been properly introduced to the crew, and I have some newbies to scare the life out of, so, should we get going?"

Aoi gives a low sigh, "Why not?"

I smile and nod, then head on up to the deck. I come across a PA box along the way, and use it to signal everyone to get topside for the show. Upon arrival, there were a number of unicorns, some pegasi, and even an earth pony, all waiting with the biggest grins ever plastered on their faces.

'Wait, pegasi and earth ponies.... I specifically asked for......... uuuuuuuuuuugh. One simple order...'

On seeing me, the crowd of noobies cheered, and it took me a bit to hush them. And by a bit, I mean yelling. I took a moment to catch my breath, something I learned helps when speaking in front of crowds, then began.

"Okay, so, you're all here. We may as well get the introductions out of the way. As you all no doubt know, I'm Griffin. The Griffin. I know, ironic name. My full name is Captain Griffin of the North Sky, dragon bane, hate seed, cursed bird, smooth criminal, silver tongue, and........ I forget the rest of the honorifics. You might hear the rest of the crew call me chief, because I'm the chief of their tribe, or dumbass, because I can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. YOU can call me captain." Whew. Long winded much.

"This is Gilda, she's been with me the longest, so she's second in command." I motioned to my mate, rubbing up against me. "Trixie, formerly known as 'the great and powerful' is in the medical wing right now, recovering from being shot through the chest, although I hope we'll be able to avoid those kind of....... accidents..... with you lot. She'll be in charge of your magic training once she gets out, till then, that's me." They gulped. Yep, total noobs. We'll just have to change that.

"Then there's Etch and Growl, and yes, they are diamond dogs. They're part of this crew, and act as informants and spies. They're my intel team, and they're very resourceful. Then there's Nadene, the field medic. She's a kitty cat and likes hugs, but is also our medic on the field. You get sick, you go to her. Maria is the chef, and yes, we do have vegetarian meals. Don't piss her off though or you'll wind up in the soup." The crowd gave a nervous laugh, not sure if I was entirely serious.

"Then there's Shimmer, the dragon, Geirmund, Cable, and Furnace Freud, although they spend most of their time in the forge or the medical bay, and they're currently operating on Trixie, and Steelhorn, although not actually part of the crew, he owns this lovely ship, The Possibility. I captain the crew, he captains the ship, although he listens to me since I bought him off. He's the big blue minotaur with the kilt. Can't miss him." I waited a moment for all the info to sink in and take a breath, then continued.

"Finally, we have Tiras, the cat up on that big gun over there, and he's the former chief of the cat tribe. He's a good leader, and will be training you in maneuvers once your skills are up to par. As for areas, you can go anywhere this deck and below, except private quarters that are already owned, and the forge, which is restricted to those who know what they're doing. There are ladders leading up to the top area, which is housed within the balloon. That area has the bridge, engineering, and other stuff. That place is STRICTLY off limits. If I find you up there without permission, I'll toss you overboard, got it?" They gave nervous gulps again. I'm clearly intimidating, and that should be enough to keep them in line.

"Alright, so, that's us, and we'll give a tour in a bit. There are signs directing to the different areas, so no getting lost. We also have some guests on board. Aoi?"

The swordsman was standing there alone, probably having sent.... Eol? Or was it Ubi? Damn it, sent whoever the hell it was, off to check on the other one. He seemed lost in thought till I mentioned his name, catching his attention. He walked up next to me and gazed out over the nervous crowd. He gave a grin, which of course showed off his teeth and made them shudder.

"Aww come on, we're not that scary are we?" I attempt to lighten the mood. This isn't going so well.

Aoi leans in toward's me, "I hope you don't expect a speech...", he whispers.

I whisper back "You could a t least give them your name nice and loud, and maybe your companion's names too...."

He sighs, then looks back at the crowd. "I'm Aoi, the other two diamond dogs you may have seen with me are Ubi and Eol, my brothers." Then, he's done. Well, that was fast.

"See, what that so hard?" I ask rhetorically. He glares before stepping backwards a bit.

"Alright, now, I know you all have questions and I have some too, so, form a neat and orderly....... jumble....... and throw your hooves up if you have a question, I'll get to you one at a time."

"Did you really save Prince Blueblood?"

"Yes...."

"Did you really kill a dragon?"

"Nine...."

"Are you really friends with the princesses?" Aha, this is one I can have some fun with. I adjust a nonexistent tie and speak in a refined tone. "But of course. When one is a dashing rogue, what else can you expect?" A couple mares in the crowd swoon. 'Geez........ these ponies.....'

"Okay, any questions OTHER than my political connections and my achievements?" Sudden silence.

"Please don't tell me you all joined because you're my fanclub......." Several coughs. 'Oh, just fucking great. Oh, Aoi has a question!' "Yes Aoi?"

"What are your plans next?"

"Good question!" About time I got one. "We're heading to Gem Fido to raid some diamond dog warrens and their supply ships. We'll get some wealth, free some slaves, maybe even acquire some more airships, and then send what we have to various locations. Gems will go to Mr.Silver in Ponyville, our exclusive buyer, ships and freed slaves will stop off in Canterlot before heading out to Signal island, and anyone with skill will join us on the Possibility." I looked around, the new members even more nervous about going into combat. MORONS. What did you expect you'd be doing on a pirate ship? Taking a pleasure cruise?

"Our target is Masonry, a fairly large hold. I intend to weaken them by cutting off their supply, strengthening us at the same time, till we can raid the warren itself."

"Like Ancient Rome." Aoi points out.

"Hopefully, we can harass them enough to draw them out, so we can fight them our our terms. We are exceptionally skilled at defensive combat, so we employ hit and run tactics in order to draw the enemy into an ambush."

"... and if they try to escape from underground?" Aha, so, the wolf is a strategist too. You know, I may suck at chess, but I was damn amazing at the Age of Empires games. Not Starcraft, because I'm not Korean..... what? That's not racist. It's a perfectly acceptable, and in many cases accurate, stereotype.

"If they try to escape, they will be forced to leave the majority of the slaves and valuables behind as they dig through the earth, and we can still plunder the city. Also, since we're an airborne force, we won't have much trouble tracking them. They may live underground, but they still breathe air. It's just like being under water. They have to come up to breathe sometime. When they do, we'll spot them from up above."

"And where do we come in?" The sole earth pony, an earth green stallion, asked.

"Ahh, that's the question isn't it? We have a fair number of armed forces, but what we need is coordination between them, and rear support. As it stands, we need a unicorn in each group who can communicate instantly, and secretly, with the others, in order to allow for better in field command, as well as casting support spells, medical aid, and any other role that your unique talents might fill. The thing about you unicorns is there are a vast number of focuses for spells, and that variety is what we need. Now, since you all passed the interview with the crew, I assume you all have some talent that we can use. I'll go over it later with my own interview, to see how I can use you the best." Now they were somewhat relieved that they would likely see combat, but not participate in it as actively. Pretty much, they weren't the front liners, and that put them at ease.

"As for the actual fighting, that will be left up to us," I motioned to the battle hardened cats, ".... until you can get some experience and training, which we'll do as we travel. Unicorns, Trixie will be your commanding officer when she gets out of the hospital, but for the mean time, I'll be explaining how things work around here, and how we use magic, despite not being unicorns. So, without further delay, let's start the tour."

"Over here, we have the mess hall, although you can eat wherever you want as long as you don't make a mess, and down that corridor is the stairs to the living area. There's a recreation room, although we usually spend our free time on the top deck for the view. Word to the wise, when the meal announcement comes over the sound system, get your flank to the eatery fast, or else you'll be waiting an hour or so for your food." The ponies nodded knowingly, absorbing the info as it came.

"Sparring room, shooting range, storage, and classified. This is where I store all my freaky alien stuff. Yes, I did just say that." I got some weird glances and mumbles from the group, which caused Gilda to laugh. "Also, don't go in the freezer unless there is someone outside of it. If it closes, you'll get locked in, and that's no good. Just in case any of you are here to work in the kitchen." I noticed Aoi was glaring at me, probably about dropping the 'alien' bomb.

"I'd like a word with you when this is over...

"Yeah, sure."

"What do you mean alien stuff?" One of the ponies asked. Not sure which one, as they were all bunched up.

Aoi interrupts them. "If it's classified, I'd think it best not to ask questions." He winks at me. "Not knowing may be better for your health. I bring him to the side for a moment and huddle.

"Aoi, way I figure, they're gonna find out eventually. Besides, if they can't handle seeing that, they they've got no place on this ship. There's a lot of thing more unnerving than an extra-equestrian."

"Better not be anything dangerous though. Wouldn't want your crew... incapacitated before you even set out..."

I sigh and pinch the spot between my eyes. "It won't be dangerous, just a quick look at what 'certain people' really are. Besides, the princesses know, the element bearers know, Lyra knows, the whole crew knows, and eventually, all of Equestria will. The sooner they find out, the sooner they can get used to the idea. I'd rather that they they go crazy with conspiracy theories."

"Alright, the tour is done. Everyone, back up on deck. I'll meet you there. Just need to have a private chat for a sec, then I have something to show you."

My companion raises his eyebrow in question. "You mean..."

"Yep. Let's get it out of the way. Although, if you don't want to, that's your choice."

He seemed to think for a moment before his eyes brightened. "Why not?"

Once we were back on deck, I stood next to Aoi on a raised platform. "Alright everyone, so, you're no doubt wondering what I meant by, 'alien stuff'. Well, truth is, I'm not exactly from around here." Gasps rang out as they understood what I was implying. Wow, they get shocked by everything.

"Last chance to back out Aoi."

"Just don't be shocked when you see me..."

"Man, I was sent to equestria, killed dragons, and nearly got eaten by a giant spider. You think you're gonna be a shock to me? You should be worried about them."

"Don't say I didn't warn you..."

I remove my amulet and hold it in front of me. "Forma versus." Oh crap! I forgot to take off my armor! As my form changed into that of a human, my armor did not. The good news is that it didn't strangle me, the bad news is that it was far too large and heavy for me to wear in my weaker body, and I promptly fell over. At least I didn't get crushed by it.

"Ow. Little help here?"

Gasps comes from the crowd again, as well as a small bit of laughter at my plight as someone, who I presume to be Aoi, leans down and helps take my armor off over my head. I stand and brush myself off, then turn around.

"Hey, thank....whoa! You weren't kidding." I take a good look at him. He's slightly taller than me, and I'm 6'3", and even though his clothing is far too big, it still looks stylish on him. He's got black hair and rippling muscle, and his eyes are red from having blood vessels rupture. Typical anime character. "Oh damn it all!"

"So you are the infamous Griffin, no older than 20..." He asks stoically.

"And you're Aoi. Okay, interesting little fact. In Equestria, humans look like anime characters, and WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HOT?!?!" I then proceeded to grumble about life not being fair, how everyone looked better than me, stuff like that. My thoughts were interrupted as Nadene came over between the two of us and started purring as she rubbed herself all over us.

'Oh geez.......' I rolled my eyes as the very attractive kitty rubbed her head against the two of us. Aoi backed away, causing his oversized cloths to fall off, revealing his scars. My eye began to twitch. "You even have more scars than I do? Come on!" I was a bit upset at how much more of a badass Aoi was than me, while the crowd looked like they were about to vomit from the look of the damages on him.

"Oh my, I better get you to the infirmiry to, *purr* inspect those wounds." The orange furred, bipedal version of Pinkie Pie said with just a hint of lust in her voice. This made the poor human she was going over recoil. They were about the same height, and, I hate to say it, but he was attractive. Like, really. Okay, so maybe I am jealous. SHUT UP!

"So... they're still there..." He ran his fingers over the deep gashes on his body.

"Yes, they are. Look." I pulled my shirt off as well. My scars weren't nearly as deep or numerous, but still present. A couple mares fainted on deck. "We got new bodies when we came, but the old ones stayed the same."

"Sorry to disappoint, but these scars won't be going away..." Nadene pouted at his comment. She also began looking at my wounds as well. I don't think I actually ever showed her my human form with my shirt off.

"I like them, makes you look..... dangerous....." She purred again. I think I know where this is going. Aoi looks at himself for a while, then turns to me and with his piercing gaze set on me, speaks in a voice that demands being heard.

"...Change me back..."

"Aaaaaaaaaand we're done here. Reverti." Feathers sprang up, and wings sprouted, mouth turned to beak, and hands turned to talons. Aoi went through a similar transformation, only with fur and paws. I was glad to return to my equestrian form, and from the look on Aoi's face, so was he. I slipped my amulet back on, and Nadene gave us another pout. "Spoil sports...." She said with a huff, then went back to the infirmary to check on the seasick dog. He gets dressed again, and I pick up my armor to sling it across my back.

"Are we finally done with the tour?" He asks in an irritated tone. He's clearly done for the day.

"Well, I'm gonna go store this, you should all go pick a room, because you'll be staying in it. Aoi, come with me. There's a separate living area, and I'm sure you'd like your privacy."

"You came to Equestria a while ago, am I right?" Aoi asked as we walked.

"Yes."

"It was only about half a month since I've arrived here..."

"Really? That's it? I've been here over a year."

"The point is, like you, I never knew exactly what would happen. Honestly, I planned on starting a new life here... A sense of adventure, wanderlust you might call it. Anything to find a new purpose in life. Gangs bribed the cops in order to hunt me down the day after I got my revenge. Getting sent here was the easiest option available. I took it without a second thought... So now I'm here..."

I sigh. " Yeah, who would have thought that me, wimpy, nerdy, LOSER Griffin would be doing THIS? I'm actually the second human to come here though, at least I'm pretty sure. The first was brought over by Discord, which I'm guessing opened a little hole between universes that various, nonspecific deities and spirits can use to throw their own pawns on the board. I'm still trying to figure out why though."

"If what your saying is true...We're some experiment... what purpose, I don't know... and I don't care..."

"As for me.... I just wanted an out. I was so sick and tired of all the pain, all the misery and strife. No matter where I went, I was despised, most often for no reason at all. People would go out of their way to find something to hate about me, just so they could take out their frustrations. I wanted to leave so bad, leave it all behind. I found myself wishing I could come here, a place of peace and harmony. Where I wouldn't just be blindly hated by everyone. When that guy showed up, I thought it was too good to be true. When I found out it WAS real.... well..... happiest day of my life. Then I find out that it isn't all it's cracked up to be, and decided to change that. And here I am. If it's an experiment? Well, then I'll happily play the lab rat."

"And so we found ourselves this land, not much different from our own... Tell me, did Celestia called you a hero at one point?"

"Probably. If it was to my face, I don't remember, but most definitely behind my back. 'For great service to Equestria and the protection of the innocent.....' something like that."

"Heh... figures..." He sighs again. "Apparently, now I'm seen as one, word's spreading round... The Lunar Legend's back... I don't think others want the 'Legend' to come back..."

"They don't get a say in the matter, so long as the 'Cursed Bird' is around. What will the history books say about the hound's greatest hero and enemy, actually being friends? These are interesting times..... who knows what will *burp* Oh look, the princess sent us a letter!"

"So what's it say?"

"Ahem." I cleared my throat as I unraveled the scroll.

Dear Griffin,
You are the third most infuriatingly difficult being I have ever encountered, beaten only by a certain cow with a knack for riddles and Discord himself. Just when I think I have you figured out, you surprise me yet again. I am NOT amused. And Aoi as well? I had thought better of him..... Do you know the embarrassment you caused with your little vanishing act? You have no respect for authority whatsoever, although I suppose I should have expected that from you. Be forewarned, I will be keeping a very close eye on you in the future.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

Ps: I still win. Check the newspaper tomorrow, I think you'll be surprised. You have much to learn, little troll, before you can take on a master."

"Well, maybe next time she'll tell me what she's planning instead of keeping it a secret. If she's going to treat me like a child, I may as well act like one. Although, I am worried about the 'check the paper tomorrow' thing."

"Out of all people, I would have expected her to understand... I guess not..."

"The only useful information that came from that is that she'll be watching me closely. Yeah, that just SCREAMS spy. It wouldn't have been too hard for her to plant one among the recruits....." A spy on board never bodes well.

"I guess that's one more thing to screen for..." He sighs again. Is he extremely tired or something? "I'm tired of having wasted titles piled on me..."

"Same....... You know what? Let her spy. Show her I have nothing to hide. I mean, I stripped down to my human form right in front of her, making myself helpless, yet she still doesn't trust me, and then expects me to trust her fully and just go along with what she says? If she's not going to trust me, I'm not going to trust her. Let her spy. I don't even care. But there's going to be a LOT of shenanigans on my part when we meet."

"Have fun with that................................. Hey Griffin..."

"Yeah?"

"How many scars do you have?"

"Twelve, and three burns. Some of them have faded and aren't really visible unless you look closely. And a couple were from surgery to fix broken ribs. One though, there's one that I hate above all else. It's an incision that was made to remove a kidney. I donated, and it went to a guy who used his new chance at life to make mine a living hell."

"Heh, no good deed goes unpunished. Just like no failure unnoticed..."

I turn to look at the wolf, and he gives me a creepy grin. "139 scars, permanent, you've seen them yourself. 14 accounts of broken ribs, 52 of broken legs and arms, and 2 cases of near fatal concussions. Coupled with 11 bullet wounds and 31% of my body burned at one point..,"

"Yeah, do you hate your human body as much as I hate mine, even though Nadene seems to like them?"

"I don't hate my body as I do my scars... as well as remembering each and every time I got them.... Completely contrary to modern media, samurai aren't invincible, with honor fueling our power... After all, samurai are still just human, We get cut, we get shot, we get hurt, we die, sometimes violently, and not in an honorable swordfight, as for what fuels me... that's debateable..."

"Oh, well I happen to HATE being human. So weak, so pitiful. Sure, I was pretty nimble and stealthy, but compared to the benefits being a griffin brings....... well, I only use my other body for shock and awe stuff like what I did back there. I reason it'd probably be better at stealth stuff too, but I haven't had the chance to try. Oh, and dubstep. You've got ears like a diamond dog, avoid nightclubs unless you feel like spilling your guts on the floor like with Octavia." Better warn him about that now. Do NOT want that biting him in the behind.

"Noted..."

"Well, I hope you figure it out. I've got some interviews to do, and I hope I can get through them before nightfall. See you at dinner."

"See you... and hey... Maybe I can teach you how to not get hurt as much... The only good thing that comes out of scars are to remind you how to avoid them next time..."

"I'd like that. After all, it's going to be a fairly long trip, might as well learn a thing or two."

'Gonna get trained by a badass ninja samuri....... must not make karate kid reference. This is gonna be awesome!'

How do I Sword Sword? (79)

How do I Sword Sword?

Death......... pain....... vengeance........... wrath.....

I decided to put off the interviews till tomorrow, since all the ponies that had come from a distance to get here were rather tired, and I had the feeling that many of them had not yet gotten over the shocking fact that there was indeed aliens among them. So, I let them settle in and instead, I tried to get some rest, only to be plagued by the disturbing images that swirled in my mind.

"Stupid Celestia......" I muttered under my breath as I awoke from yet another nightmare. This has gone on long enough. Time to send her a message.

Dear Princess Celestia,

What the hell did you do to me? Ever since you went all psycho on the ship I've been having nothing but nightmares when I close my eyes, and I can't remember them when I wake up. I don't know what you hope to accomplish my driving me crazy with these visions, but cut it out. It's not funny anymore.

Sincerely, Griffin.

With the letter sent, I decided to head down to the mess hall to get something to eat. After all, I told Aoi I'd meet him there for dinner.

"Attention crew, make your way to the galley for the evening meal." Cable's voice came over the PA system just in time.

As I ate my meal, I got to wondering, where the heck is Aoi? He said he'd be down for dinner, and the announcement went out, so where the heck is he? The rest of the crew, as well as the recent additions are here. Oh well, I guess he misses out. I should still find him later.

And find him I did, an the top deck, leaning next to the banister, looking at the moon and.... talking to himself?

"I've been on plenty of airplanes before, but something about an airship... i don't really know..."

"It has a certain serenity about it, doesn't it?" He turns around, slightly startled. So.... he CAN be snuck up on....."I thought I'd find you up here."

"I feel a lot less cramped, that's for sure..." He replies, turning his gaze back to the horizon. "Finish your meal?"

"Yes, although you seem to have missed yours."

"I wasn't hungry anyway, besides, there's no way I could get through the crowd in time..."

"They certainly are enthusiastic when food is on the line...." I laugh. The things those cats do to get their nom noms.

"Hmm, who isn't..."

I walk up to the banister and rest my arms on it. "You know, this could always be more than just 'hitching a ride'. We've got the same goals, and we could always use another skilled hand. More importantly, I like you, and I don't say that lightly."

"Duely noted," He smiles, "But I do have a clan to get back to. Maybe if we do cross paths again, I'll help if you need it..."

"True enough. I figured you for a 'lone wolf' if you'll pardon the pun. You'd rather be leading your own pack than joining another."

"That's the thing, I learned a valuable lesson when working with a team. One, you need to have ABSOLUTE TRUST when working with them, the second..." He pauses for a moment as if to recall something. "... never let them out of your sight..."

"The paranoid are only fools till it pays off, eh?"

"Paranoia has nothing to do with it..." He turns around to look me in the eye. "I paid the price for thinking that I had covered everything, every single loophole, thinking we could pull it off without a hitch... The cost was my entire team dead and me in a hospital for over a month..."

"Of course it does. Look at me. I would have never gotten this far if I hadn't planned for every single situation, and contingency plans as well. Soon as I let my guard down, soon as I stopped worrying? Trixie got shot in the chest. She could have DIED, and it would have been entirely my fault. That's the thing isn't it? In this profession, we CANNOT afford to make mistakes." I let out a sigh. "But, nobody's perfect. Eventually, we DO make mistakes, and when we do, it hurts. So long as we know we did everything we can, that there's nothing more we could have done, and we did our best, does it really matter?"

Aoi gives a smug grin. "I guess we can't change it, only move on, knowing not to make it again..."

"Even me. I was looking for meaning in my life, so I decided to save that of another. It came back to bite me, and I always hated that fact but...... how was I to know? If I hadn't done what I did, would things have been any different? If so, how would they have changed? I'll never know, and it's pointless to think about it. Every decision we make all lead to where we are now, and thinking back, do you have any regrets?"

"Only one....."

"And that is?" I'm genuinely interested in what this lone warrior looks back on with shame.

"... I say that I was helpless... I say that I could have done nothing...." He starts to laugh, an uneasy laugh that puts me on edge. "But I could have tried... at least TRIED to take that bastards knife and drive it straight through his HEART!...........But that wouldn't have helped.... It wouldn't have brought my parents back.... Who knows... I probably wouldn't even be here..."

"Damn straight, and in all odds, you would have died right then and there. But, you had patience, and prepared yourself. Either way, you got your vengeance, this one only took a little longer."

"Griffin?" He says as he sighs, turning back to lean over the railing. I give a 'hmm?' to tell him I'm listening.

"About Ember...... what do you plan to do about her?"

"Dodge her as long as I can. I know that look in her eye, she's not about to give up just because I keep ahead of her. She'll chase me to the ends of the world and beyond. When she eventually does catch me, I just hope I'll be able to handle her by then. Certainly can't right now, she beat the stuffing out of Luna, and she's way beyond me."

"Dodging may help temporarily, but you have to know whether or not you are ready to face her. I have an idea of what she's going through, after all, I've been through it myself..."

"I have no idea what to say to that. To her, I'm a monster that killed her father. To us, her father was a monster that was trying to kill us. We see each other as evil, something that needs to die. But then, who's right?"

"Neither of you... If you two actually decide to fight, at least without listening to each other first..." He sighs again. Something is on his mind. He's thinking about something, and it's putting him off. "Little known fact, I've been on both the giving, and receiving end of a vendetta..."

"I'd be willing to listen, but something tells me she won't be so talkative. Unless........"

"Unless?"

I put on a devious grin. "I find her first. I take the initiative. I track HER down. It should at least throw her off guard long enough for me to get a word in."

"But what to say..... I don't think she would be in the mood for 20 questions Griffin..."

"I wouldn't need twenty. Just one. 'Why do you want me dead?' I know the answer, but if I can make her explain it fully, I can find holes in her reasoning. There's still no guarantee, and I'll probably wind up dead, but then that would happen anyway, wouldn't it?

"Depends, do you want HER dead?" I pause to think about what he's asking. He apparently takes this for deceit. "Be honest now..."

"Honestly? No. To me, she seems like a kid who's pissed off that her dad died. I mean, barring me, since I happen to hate mine, who wouldn't be? So of course she'll try to get revenge. I'm not upset with her at all about that. If she tries to kill me, yeah, I'll have to fight back and try to do the same, but I don't want her dead. She's just another person who the game of life said 'fuck you' to and gave a bad hand."

At my explanation, he seems at ease, and gives a warm smile. "Then you have nothing to fear now. Congratulations you just passed step one in dealing with the loose ends in your past..."

"Worst case scenario, I die, go to Tartarus, and have a few 'words' with the fates. Most of them being 'I can swing my sword-sword'. Best case scenario, I gain a valuable ally to my cause, but I can't hope for too much...."

"Wouldn't hurt to have another dragon on board." Aoi states.

"Of course. After all, they're just part of life as well. They do what they do because they don't want to starve. That's it isn't it? Everyone only looking out for themselves. The dragons don't want to starve, the diamond dogs don't want to starve or be eaten, and the griffins and ponies don't want to be enslaved or eaten. We're all just looking out for ourselves, and that's what let the rest of the world get into this situation. From what I can tell, even as an adolescent, she's far more powerful than most grown dragons. If I can get her, they could be made to listen to reason, and that makes this a whole new ball game. But that all hinges on her being willing to listen, because she DOES want me dead, and she may just see me talking as an attempt to snake out of it."

"If she was willing to apologize something tells me she has a voice of reason...." Aoi offers, and that is quite logical, except that she went berserk at the gala. She has a voice of reason, she just elects not to use it.

"She didn't seem too reasonable with Luna....." I pull a gem from my pack and hold it before him.

"Infernus." I allow the flame to burn for just a few seconds so he can get a look at it. "Extinguo." And then I snuff them and pant slightly.

"The fires of Tartarus. They burn using magic itself as fuel. As a dragon, magic is her lifeblood. It's lethal for any with magic in their veins, so, basically, anyone in this world, but it'll be far more intense on dragons, unicorns, or alicorns due to their massive reserve. I'm restricting it's use to anything princess level or higher. I haven't tested it as a human yet, but I don't really want to. The problem is, it takes a SHITLOAD of magic to use, and maintain, and it spreads faster than wildfire, so it would most likely kill me while I'm at it. After that tiny flame, I'm wiped. And, I gotta actually hit something to pass it, and if I miss with it or run out of time....... well, game over."

"Such is the price for power..." He stares at his paw for a bit, while I look out at the clouds, a small storm off the starboard bow. Pegasi most likely set it up during the day, then set it off over night so they can clean it in the morning. That reminds me....... I'll have to see about building my own version of Cloudsdale once I've got a sufficient land base to warrant having one. Right over the ocean, so it's not like there'll be a lack of water, and we can totally pull off the tornado thing...... but I'll worry about that when I get there.

"Well, then you might as well settle in. We're headed to Masonry, and it's not a long trip, but it would suck to spend it all out on the deck."

"I can't... There's still some things I need to find out... I can't shake the feeling that... somethings out there calling me..."

"I'm gonna get some rest. I put off the interviews today so I could let them settle in and we could all sleep, since I'm still recovering from the gala debacle and they traveled a long way just to get on board. I don't think the shock of seeing us for what we really are has worn off yet either."

"Of course... by the way... Do you happen to have a pen and paper?"

"Not on me. You'll find a room down in the hold with your name on it, and a desk, fully stocked with crap like that."

"Thanks..."

With that, I headed back to my room where I found Gilda waiting for me, wearing a scowl.

"You know, you haven't been treating me very well these past few days.... I've been getting...... anxious......" Her frown turned into a smirk as her tail flicked and she shifted her wings, that lusty hen has really gotten needy lately. If I didn't know better, I'd start to think she was just after me for my body.... my extremely attractive body.....

"Heh.... sorry about that. Haven't been myself."

"Well then... let me put your mind at rest for a while."

She leaned in and nuzzled me, which is the griffin version of a kiss since, you know, no lips. I closed my eyes and lay back on the bed, knowing that I'll enjoy what's about to happen next.

I awoke the next morning thoroughly refreshed with a scroll sitting on my end table. Must have burped it up last night, I'll read it later. Gilda was wearing a calm smile on her face as she climbed out of bed. We were up before the rest of the crew, so we decided to head down for breakfast before the announcement to avoid the rush. I find Aoi already sitting there.

"Well well, someone's up early for having such a late night." Gilda chided. In all likeliness, he hadn't gone to sleep in the first place.

"I'm not a stranger to insomnia..." Was his reply.

"I figured I would get used to it with this goof," She elbowed me, "except then half the time he decides to sleep like a rock. Do all humans have such a screwed up way of sleeping?"

"Only when they're actually trying..."

"Fair enough." She slumps herself in on one of the pillows that are set near the table for quadrupeds instead of chairs so they don't hurt their backs, basking in the afterglow of last night's activities. Aoi looked at her strangely for a few moments before shaking his head and getting back to his meal. Maria noticed us come in, and immediately began barking orders to the kitchen staff.

"Well, today's the day. Gotta get through chatting with all the newbies, then I figure we you and I do some training so I learn how to use my sword properly, letting them watch of course, then I teach them some fundamental magic.

"Might want to tell them to stand back... I'm not only teaching sword tricks..." He pointed out.

"Of course, same here. Wouldn't want any non combatants getting hurt."

"Well, you're all up early." Maria says as she walks up to the PA system and pulls down the microphone. "Get your lazy asses up here, it's time for breakfast!" She releases it, turns to us and smiles shyly. "Enjoy your meal." I swear, when she's around others she doesn't know, or someplace new, she's the griffin version of Fluttershy, but as soon as you put her in her own element, she becomes a drill sergeant. The meal she laid out before us was simple roasted sweet potatoes, along with some steamed salmon. Not exactly a breakfast food, but again, I was still trying to get my iron up. I may not have taken that much damage in the fight at the gala, but I had been bleeding out, and running around like mad while I did. I lost a lot of blood before I smartened up and found a doctor to pass out on.

"Smells delicious." I was about to dig in, but remembered Aoi was there. Instead I lowered my head for a moment in thanks before proceeding. Once I was finished, I went to the training room and used the speaker system to tell Cable to make an announcement in fifteen minutes for all the new recruits to get down there.

"Alright, listen up. I'll come and get you, one at a time, so we can chat and get to know each other a little better. The rest of you wait here while I give whoever I'm with the run through. Once you've all had your turn, I'll begin classes on basic magic."

"No offense, but most of us are unicorns....... we ALREADY know basic magic..... Won't this be a waste of time?" A lime green mare with dark brown mane asked.

"Well, after the interview, I'll be the one to determine if you're exempt from my classes. Perform well, and we'll see....."

"So then, this isn't a verbal interview, is it?" The lone earth pony stallion spoke up.

"Only partial. The other part will be you showing me what you're capable of." I smiled.

"Sweet..." He replied. The other ponies looked at him like he's nuts.

"Oh, by the way. Celestia may or may not have a spy among us, keeping an eye on me. If they happen to be here, listening, I'd like them to know that I have nothing to hide, have been completely straightforward with her for as long as I've known her, she really ought to trust me more, and she can spy all she wants. I don't care. It's a waste of her time and if she wants to know something, she can just ask me. So there. Anyways, with that done and over with, let's begin, shall we?"

______________________________________________________________________________

"Alright..... first up is..... Starlight Wisp...... Unicorn, mare, ocean blue coat and algae green mane, special skills, intangibility? Is that right?"

"Um.... yes, it is."

"Very well, step forward." She did as I instructed, standing in the middle of the room. I picked up a bow, as well as several arrows that had their heads removed. If they struck they would hurt, but not injure. At most, they'd leave a bruise.

"Think fast." I quickly drew the bow taut and fired. In that instant, she got the 'deer in headlights' look, froze, and was hit on the right shoulder by the blunt projectile.

"Ouch! Hey! What was that for?"

"I thought you said you could turn intangible, so solid objects pass right through you?"

"Well, I can......"

"They why didn't you?"

"Umm......"

"Listen, you might not be fighting actively, then again, you might. If you get attacked, which is possible, you'll need to know how to defend yourself. Train your reflexes so that instead of freezing up when faced with a threat you cast the spell instead."

"But, it takes longer than that to cast it........."

"Well then, I suggest you figure out a way to speed it up. See you in magic training at four this afternoon. NEXT!"

________________________________________________________________________

The next pony was a white pegasus with a poofy yellow mane, and three pink balloons on her flank.

"Hi! My name is Surprise and I'm Cloudsdale's number one party pony!" Oh no.......

"You wouldn't happen to be related to Pinkie Pie would you?"

"Who? I don't know that pony, but she sounds like lots and lots of fun!"

"Hmm, yeah....... you know what? Chief morale officer, and vegetarian chef. Head down to the kitchen and meet Maria, She'll fill you in and act as your superior officer." Poor girl is gonna have her claws full with this one. At least she likes Pinkie. Can't put her on the battlefield though, that would just ruin the poor kid. Let her do what she's best at.

"Yay! It'll be so much fun, making all those yummy treats and making everypony smile!"

"Aye. Magic classes at four, see you there. Next!"

________________________________________________________________________

"Dusty Trails." The earth pony said. "I actually used to be an adventurer, a traveler really, until I ran into a pack of diamond dogs. Got out of it almost unscathed, except for the arrow in my......"

"Don't even THINK of finishing that sentence. Show me what you've got....."

Ten minutes later, a very sweaty and exhausted griffin and earth pony walked out of the training room.

"Very good. You like the greatswords too, eh? I never thought about using it like that....... I'll see about getting you set up with one, and some armor. Oh, you may want to head down to the medical bay and ask Geirmund to replace that knee of yours, you're gonna need to be in top shape. Welcome to the front lines kid." Except that he's probably twice my age. "You'll be training with me and the cats regularly, in addition to the magic classes everyday at four. Next."
________________________________________________________________________

After two hours of interviews, they were finally done, and I had a fair idea what each of them was capable of, as well as if they could handle themselves in a fight. I had worked up a bit of a sweat, so I headed out for a fly to cool off in a cloud. I return to the ship and find the wolf on deck, giving a speech to his pack mates. I think it's about time for that training session.

"Hey Aoi, there you are." He only gives me a quick glare to tell me I'm interrupting before following through with what he was saying.

"As always, things work best with a demonstration, along with hands on experience." He takes his sword and puts it on the ground, up against the wall. "No personal weapons, please..." Eol and Ubi (I can finally remember their names, but not which is which...) look at each other before taking off the belts that held their weapons, laying them on the deck.

"You too Griffin..."

"Aye." I remove my weapon and armor, placing them up against the wall. All my other stuff was in there too, vials, potions and such, so there's not going to be any tricks up my sleeve. Aoi walks around, passing each of us a pebble, and taking one for himself, then has us form a triangle around him.

"Nobody throws until my stone hits the ground, are we clear?" I get it, he's gonna toss his up in the air, then try to dodge as we throw ours. He holds the stone high above his head for a few seconds before releasing it, all three of us ready to throw.

'Three........ two...... one......'

The stone hits the ground with a loud smack, The white one is the first to throw, and he has perfect aim, right for the wolf's eye. Aoi swipes with his hand, catching the stone midflight. He spins and deflects the other one's stone headed for his shoulder with the one in his hand, followed by tossing it at mine, making them collide in the air and drop.

"Hmm.... impressive reflexes... I guess I'm next?" I ask.

"If you'd like."

I gather up the stones and pass them to their owners, taking my place in the middle of a triangle formed by the three. Some of the ponies start watching from a distance. I slowly turn in a circle, letting my eyes rest on each of the three canines surrounding me, taking in each of them, judging them.

'Alright, the normal looking one was the airsick one, his coordination will be off, the white furred one has pretty good aim, but not perfect, so Aoi is the one to look out for with his precision. Focus on dodging his while keeping an eye on the other two.... the problem is it's a triangle, I can only see two at a time, unless I leave it.... yeah. Soon as the stone hits the ground, I'll rush the sick one and vault over his head, he'll get put off by it, screwing up his throw. I'll fake a landing after, coming down but using one flap to move myself back a bit more.... That leaves Aoi.... the rules are they don't throw till the rock hits the ground..... wait....who says I have to throw it straight up?'

I grin deviously at the wolf, having formed my plan. "Everybody ready?" They all nod. I turn to face the seasick one and look over my shoulder at the other two periodically, bring my arm below me, but instead of throwing the stone up, I send it straight for Aoi's face. As soon as I let go, I jump towards the ill dog, pushing off the ground with my claws and a flap, going over his head. The white one throws his stone, sending to straight for me. I grab the dog I just vaulted over and put him in the way of it, making it peg him on the shoulder. The one I just grabbed spins and throws, but a quick sidestep makes it miss by a wide margin. I drop to the ground, Aoi's stone zinging over my head as I do, brushing my feathers in a narrow miss.

Having dodged all three stones, I stand back up and look to Aoi, only to feel a slight, sharp pain on my forehead, followed by the wolf saying. "Headshot." It took a moment for me to realize what just happened. That clever bastard.

"Heh, Aoi, ya got me. Even if the others had hit me, you were the only one to throw your stone after mine hit the ground. Wasn't counting on you catching that and slinging it back at me as a distraction. Good move."

"You better get that patched up, I may have it you too hard......sorry about that..." He replies while smiling. What does he mean by that? I bring my hand to my forehead and rub off a small splotch of blood that had appeared there, and lick it off my now red talon.

"Nah, it'll be fine on it's own."

"Well, if you are sure about that, don't come complaining if you get an infection..." He says while standing up and dusting off his paws.

"Given all the citrus I eat, I'm not at all surprised I haven't caught so much as a cold since coming here." They look at me strangely. "Hey, it's good for you and tastes damn good too. No way in hell I'll let there be a case of scurvy on my ship."

Accepting my explanation, Aoi walks over to the training weapon rack that he had brought out here, and grabs a quarter staff as well as a great sword, both made of wood. He passes me the large blade and cocks his eyebrow.

"You are familiar with this kind of weapon, am I right?"

I grab the handle of the blade, having never used a training sword since before this morning with Dusty. "Although this is a bit lighter than what I'm used to, it'll serve the purpose of us not killing each other." He nods, then puts his katana back on, draws it, and cuts the staff in half, leaving a slightly sharp edge. Be begins swinging it in test, having just made it into a short sword.

'Uh oh. Let me guess, he knows that I'm no good versus the small, quick ones, so that's exactly the type of weapon he's using. Well, I may get to try out Dusty's stance after all.'

"Tell me, Griffin, are you familiar with kendo?" His question interrupts my thoughts.

"Not beyond the basics. Mostly I evolved my own style by figuring out what works. You know, best techniques passed on by the survivors? I'm lucky enough to still be alive after something doesn't work to find something that does."

"Hmm, I see your point," He takes a low stance, like a lunge, with his makeshift blade down low as well, "But how well can you evolve your style?"

I place the sword in front of me horizontally as a shield, with my eyes just over the edge. "Let's find out." By now, the entire crew, including the new additions, had come up and were watching us on the deck from a fair distance away.

"Ikuzo." I'm guessing that means go?

He runs straight at me, closing the distance as he goes for goes for a low slash. I drop the point of my blade, blocking it. He turns and sidesteps past him, moving his sword over my neck and jerking it forward. I lean back and just barely avoid getting 'decapitated' performing a backflip then crouching low and charging. I try a short thrust with the blade, only for him to parry it, sliding his own over and smashing it into my beak, followed by a kick to the chest landing me on my back. He puts the point of his sword to my neck and taps his temple twice. I swing my sword from the right, making him block while I sweep his legs out, roll, and dart away. He jumps to his feet again, and we both take the low stance once more.

"Hmm........" I stand and think for a moment before thrusting forward in another stab. He parries it again, making my blade become a flat wall between us. I move my left hand to the flat of the sword and push, bashing him right in the muzzle. He takes a step back to get some distance, and avoid a horizontal slash that brings my sword back to stab position. I pull back and push forward with as much force as I can, the let go of the sword. He jumps over it and, clearly expecting me to still be holding it, is completely off guard when I deliver a right haymaker straight to his nose, knocking him flat on his ass.

He takes a breath before bringing his legs up, flipping over his back, and releasing it, then smiling wide.

"Now you're getting it." He stands up straight and starts clapping, as does our audience.

"Let's see, smaller weapon, designed for getting past defenses.... more like a long dagger. In terms of strike speed, so long as I held that thing, I wouldn't be able to hit you. You'd just parry every attack. The downside is bashing. There just isn't enough leverage in such a short blade to parry or block a good bash. Once I figured that out....." Aoi smiles again. Normally you don't smile when someone figures out your weakness.

"Now then...... I wonder........." I say, standing up on my hind legs, flapping my wings for support and balance.

"Go on..." He seems interested in what I'm thinking of.

I bring my sword up vertically, holding it like a spear, pointing the tip at the ground with the hilt above my head. Then, I move my arm under it draping it over so it's on a 45 degree angle.

"How would you deal with this kind of defense?" This is what Dusty showed me in the training room. With my blade like this, it covers my entire front from attack. The only open points are my wings, except that since he's using a shorter weapon, he wouldn't be able to reach them. With it like this, I can quickly stab at my enemy's legs since using gravity to my advantage, use a quick bash to interrupt an attack, then a flap of my wings and pivot the sword using my arm as the fulcrum to do an uppercutting bash and throw the enemy off guard. Then I slide the blade forward again to either stab them in the stomach if they stand, or the neck if they fell to the ground. The downside is that I don't know when the opponent's attack is coming. I can only guess, because all I can see are my enemy's feet. Well, that's the theory anyways. A theory I'm hoping to test out here.

Aoi stands still for a few moments, trying to figure out a way past this. His stabs forwards with his blade, only for it to be knocked off mine, which is held in a solid position. Horizontal or vertical attacks to both sides, neither getting through. I close the distance and stab at his legs, making him jump backwards. I jump forwards to close the distance and bash again, catching his whole body with the strike. He steps back again, unsure of what to do. That's when his feet, my only guide to know where the attack is coming from, disappear. I hear a clang on my sword.

'He dove at me? No, wait, not enough force behind that strike. There was no weight at all...... he threw the sword!'

By then, it's too late. He grabbed my hand at the top of the blade and twists it behind my back. He uses his weight to pull me over, onto my back, as I feel his feet press against me. He pulls on my arm more and kicks off, sending me flying into the wall as my tangled wings can't get a gust under them to slow myself.

*Slam!* Several ponies cringe at the sound. Luckily, he wasn't trying to kill me, or I would have been dead. Things are getting more dangerous, and that's precisely why I'm doing this. I need to keep up. Wait.... when did I lose the lead? After the gala, suddenly I'm playing catch up.

"Ow.... fuck...... I wasn't expecting that. I'll have to remember that next time I use that stance. You figured it out in what, four seconds? You really are an assassin, aren't you?"

"It helps..." He laughs.

"That's the problem, ain't it? I'm just not built to deal with the quick ones. Then again........ that's why I have this." I walk over to Hades and put my claw on it. "Accelero." The glow vanishes and the whole world slows down. I release the sword and walk over to pick up my wooden one once again, then speak in an extremely fast voice. "Besttwooutofthree?Readysetgo!"

I dive at him again, this time leading with the hilt, aiming to put the rear end of the wooden blade in his stomach. I simultaneously use a left thrust with my palm, and hook with my right wing. "Letseeyoustopthreeattacksatonce." Aoi dodges, sliding on the ground, and unsheathes his sword, knocking the blade upward.

"Hoki no Kiba!" Wait, that's his REAL sword! Oh shit shit! Dodge, dodge dodge! I quickly roll out of the way of his strike, corckscrewing and driving my right wing into his diaphragm knocking him down, then back off. He slowly stands up, rubbing his neck.

"What the hell Aoi! WOODEN. SWORD." I point to the clearly nonlethal blade stump that he just countered with a potentially deadly normal, totally deadly when magically infused, slash.

"Sorry... instinct..." He thinks I'm gonna buy that? We were doing perfectly fine with the wooden ones. What the hell made him draw his 'cut a tablecloth in half without fraying the fibers' katana?

"Man, that attack was 'this' close to cutting me in half." I emphasized my point by holding my claw up and putting the 'thumb talon' together with the pointer. "Well. I guess the point though is that it didn't. Still, I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but you've been distracted since we left Canterlot. I can tell you've got something on your mind. I suggest you get your shit in order. Now, I think we're done for the day. Go get some rest. Staying up all night isn't good for you."

He sighs and shakes his head, putting his sword back in it's sheath and stowing it in his clothing.

"Off to bed with you, NOW. And don't even think about trying to slip out, or I'll get Nadene to come over, and you do NOT want that."

"Heh... do you always confine guests to their barracks?" I glared angrily. This isn't something to make light of.

"When they nearly kill me? YES. I know all about the whole insomnia deal, I've been through it, but if you don't get some rest I WILL drug you, so I suggest you lay down. I don't care if you sleep, meditate, or lay in bed awake all night thinking, but you're confined to your quarters till tomorrow at breakfast. I'll have one of the cooks bring you your lunch and dinner. Damn it Aoi, get your head on straight."

Class Dismissed (80)

Class Dismissed

After confining Aoi to his room for the night, and making sure someone would check on him and bring him meals, I relaxed a bit, prepared some lecture notes, and headed to the training room to teach the class. There were desks lined up around the edges of the room, a pony sitting in each, 20 in all. I had a blackboard set up there as well, and made sure there were pencils and paper for note taking. In the the next room over were several training dummies, as well as some clear spaces, and we'd go there after we were done in here. There were two bags of gemstones up at the front. One of which contained my teaching aids, and the other was Shimmer's personal stash, which she munched on happily while sitting in the desk at the front of the room. The little lumps on her back had turned into buds which, from reading the book on dragon anatomy, meant that her wing bones were beginning to grow through the surface of the skin.

In the room were also: Some candles, buckets of water, some stones, a training dummy, and a 'mark one' laser rifle. These would serve as test items.

"Alright class, welcome to magic kindergarten.... first we'll take attendance." Calling each name, the ponies each said 'here' in turn, although the look on their faces of the unicorns showed absolute dread. 'Just what the heck do they DO to ponies in magic kindergarten? Torture?'

"Please take out your notebooks. The lecture portion of the classes will usually be a short, half hour, followed by an hour and a half of practical application, which is why I have training dummies in the next room for you to practice on, as well as each other for the non dangerous spells." I pulled a diamond from the bag. "Now, can anyone tell me what this is?"

"It's a diamond....." One of the ponies deadpanned.

"Exactly right, do you know why it's important in our lessons?"

"No?"

"And that's why you're here. Now, I have two of them, same size and cut. I'm going to pass them around and let you all take a look at them, then give them back to me." I gave the pair to the first pony in the three sided box of desks, who then looked at them both, and passed them down all the way to the end, where I took both and brought them back up to the front.

"Now, can anyone tell me what the difference was between the two of them?"

"Pfft, that's easy. One of them is a gemlamp. It's charged with magic to give off light. It's how almost all the lighting in fancy homes is done, instead of candles." Starlight Wisp answered in a know-it-all tone.

"Yes....and no...... If this were a gem lamp, it would be glowing a lot brighter than it is right now. Can anyone tell me why it isn't?"

"Umm...... because it's running low?" Another unicorn stated questioningly.

"Not quite. The light given off is not the effect of a spell, but the magic contained within. This gem is actually fully charged. That faint light is the stored magic not doing anything, it's just sitting in there. Now, I'm going to pass a gem to each of you. It's a small one, and they'll all be different types. I'll send the bag down, just take one and pass the bag."

The followed my instructions, and soon, each pony was staring intently at the small gem sitting on their desk, not sure what to do with it. I walked up to the chalkboard and drew three stick ponies, one normal, one with stick wings, and one with a stick horn. I then drew circles around them, the largest around the unicorn, and the smallest around the earth pony, following a diagram I had seen in a book on basic magic I had 'borrowed' from Twilight. Well, I guess it really is borrow because I gave it back.

"Can anyone tell me what this is?"

"That's Starswirl's triune of magic competency. It shows, in a rather basic method, the level of ability of magic control the different types of ponies have. Earth ponies can't manipulate it much, and their power deals with nature and healing, pegasi can do a bit more, when they touch a cloud they can decide whether to punch a hole, pop it, make it rain, or make it thunder, or change it's shape. Unicorns can do the most, weaving spells." A pale yellow unicorn stallion with nerd glasses explained.

"Very good. Now, what if I told you that this theory is complete and utter garbage?"

"I'd say you were lying, or deluded. This theory is widely accepted throughout all of Equestria, and we've seen no proof to declare it otherwise."

"Again, you're partially correct. The theory is only accurate if we take into account the natural order of things. By nature, unicorns ARE able to wield magic more easily than pegasi, who in turn are better at it than earth ponies... BUT...." I erased the small circle around the earth pony, and replaced it with one larger than the one around the unicorn. "What about this?"

"That's..... not right....."

"And there you see the point. The point of EVERYTHING. This entire world! It runs on a set of values and ideas which have been accepted by the majority and determined to be as fact and set as the rules of the universe, however, I have found away to break these rules. I happen to know of an earth pony who is naturally more magical than most unicorns. She can sense events in the immediate future with astounding predictability, move almost as fast as the speed of sound without getting tired, fit in impossibly small containers, literally be in two places at once, create matter, although the method in which she does this confuses me, as she can somehow pull a cannon twice her size out from behind her back when it wasn't there before, and she can walk through mirrors as a method of instant transportation. She can walk on the air itself, and contort her own body impossibly. She can do things that can make the most learned unicorn's head spin, things that defy all logic, reasoning, and throw the current model of magic out the window. The best part? She doesn't even know how she does it. She just does it. Could you imagine the possibility if she learned to control this power?"

The class sat there in thought, then in awe. They really didn't have much to say about that.

"The fact is that magic isn't just for unicorns anymore. ANYONE can do it, if they know how. I've been training for almost a year, and I'm now, naturally, about as powerful as a young unicorn in terms of raw magic. If I had started when I was born, I'd be at the level of the royal guard unicorns. And that's without my..... enhancers."

"What enhancers?"

"Well..... that's one of those secrets that I just can't tell you. The fact is, there is a certain substance which I consumed on accident that increases someone's magic a hundred fold, at the cost of their health and sanity. It's also physically addictive. Having even a single drop and then not having it again for a month will give you massive headaches, two months and you'll have nightmares, and at three months I'm pretty sure you'd die. I'm not going to tell you what it is, because I don't want any of you taking it. It's something I'd rather do without, but I don't have that choice anymore. Any more questions?"

"This means we can do magic? Weeeeeee! It sounds like a lot of fun! Oh! And then I can do magic tricks at birthday parties, with balloons and streamers and........"

"Umbra. Yes Surprise. You can use magic. It has a lot of practical applications outside of combat, and is limited only to your understanding and.... aqua..... imaginaaaaaaaation." Casting the water spell, I drew some droplets from the bucket to my claws, then made a rainbow appear when I moved them like Spongebob. The class ooh'd and ahh'd. I'd been wanting to pull that off for a while now.

"The first thing you need to learn is how to charge a gem. It's rather simple. Just focus on it. There's magic all around us, it's a part of us, and if we focus on something, we can direct the magic to it. Now, this is going to be REALLY easy for you unicorns, because you already have practiced with magic. It'll be okay for the pegasi, but it'll be hard for you Dusty, because you're not used to using magic consciously. It also helps if you're in contact with the gem. Now, I want you all to be quiet while you concentrate.

The unicorns filled their gems almost immediately, the pegasi took about three minutes, and the earth pony took five. At the end, the non unicorns had a bit of sweat coming off their brows... except for Surprise who was still bouncing around, happy as ever.

"Very good class. Very good. You've all learned how to fill gemstones with magic. For the unicorns, this is easy, so I don't think you'll need much practice and in fact, you don't even need the gemstones. The jewels act as storage for magic as well as a focus, but unicorns already have a focus. Can anyone tell me what it is?"

"Our horns?"

"That's right, your horns. What I want you to do now is to store as much magic in your horns as possible, and keep it there, while the rest of you keep practicing with the gems."

This took another couple minutes, until the unicorns were now sweating as well, and each had a three layer glow to their horns. They looked tuckered out already, which, given that they'd need to be a lot stronger than that, wasn't good at all.

"Alright, let it go. Allow the magic to flow back into your bodies." They did so, and all of them looked noticeably better off for it. "Now, it's time to learn the release. The magic we use is a combination of intent and spoken word, or incantation. Some words have multiple meanings, and so the spell effect is differentiated by what you want to occur. For example. Surprise, come forwards."

The yellow maned mare came forward, looking confused but not at all nervous.

"Alright, now, I want to you talk, and don't stop till I tell you, alright?"

"What should I talk about?"

"Parties."

"Parties? Ooh! I love parties! Cake and balloons and streamers and pinatas and punch and..."

"Umbra."

"....................................... hey! What happened?"

"The word 'Umbra' is Latin. It has multiple meanings, although they all have to do with muffling the senses. When I cast the spell, my intent was I wanted you to be silent. Now, watch what happens next. Umbra." Using another gem, I cast the spell again, but this time the shadows crept from the walls and onto my body, wrapping me in darkness. I looked like a living shadow.

"Lumen." Then a shining light banished the shadows back to the walls and under the desks.

"Umbra can also mean darkness. With experimentation, I've learned that the same word can be used for blind, deaf, mute, and shadow manipulation. Ignis means ignite, which can be both fire or lightning. Tremor means quake, or shake, vibrate, terra means the world itself, stones and such. Aqua is water, ventus is wind, tempesta is storm. I hope you're taking notes." At my mention, suddenly nineteen pencils, Surprise being the only exception, began writing furiously.

"Those are most of the elemental spells, used for magical attacks. Their strength depends on how much magic is available, as well as how much of the elements is there to manipulate. Bending an existing fire to your will is far easier, and you can do far more with it, than creating a fire from scratch. Fire and lightning are high energy spells, earth and water take more energy the more you're trying to move. Wind is always easy, because you're always surrounded by air, and it's even easier at high altitude on in strong winds. It, along with water and lightning spells, are far easier and more powerful when used by pegasi and griffins. Earth based magic tends to be stronger with earth ponies and diamond dogs, while fire and lighting again, since they need so much energy and are difficult to control, work best with unicorns, who also master light and shadow spells."

"That seems.... kind of dangerous...... Is this safe?"

"Thank you for bringing up that point..... Second Sight was it?" Now It's time for me to take a page from Skyrim... again.... Tolfdir to be specific. "The first thing you need to know about magic is that it is, by it's very nature, unstable. If you cannot control it, it will destroy you, which is why we must use the utmost caution when entering unfamiliar territory. We're almost done with theory for today, but before we move on to practical and I have you throwing fireballs around, I'm going to teach you absolutely THE most useful spell that you, being in a defensive role, will ever learn. I also expect you to use this spell whenever you try anything new, because if it goes wrong, it'll minimize the damage. That spell is protect. The power to shield yourself, your friends, and your loved ones, from any kind of attack, be it physical, magical, natural, or mental."

Suddenly, the ponies all snapped to rapt attention. The idea that they could learn magic, not just to lash out at others, but to protect those near and dear to them in these dangerous and changing times, was like a godsend. After the changeling invasion, I'm sure that many ponies were wishing that they knew how to defend themselves, so they could protect their families from being kidnapped and fed on, and could fight back to defend their homes. Ponies are by nature, non violent, and their first instinct when they encounter danger is to run around screaming for help hysterically. The problem is, with the exception of the guard, there isn't anyone to help, and the guard can't be everywhere at once. That's what this is about. These ponies do their tour of duty with me, learn how to defend themselves, see the outside world for the dark, scary place it really is, and when they're done, the go home and teach everyone else how to defend themselves as well. The only reason I needed unicorns was for magic to power gems, medical staff, and communication. I won't make them fight if they don't want to, all I'm doing is giving them the option.

"I know for a fact there are mind readers out there, and there are also those who can put thoughts in your head that are not your own, like illusionists, such as our very own Trixie. To protect yourself from this kind of assault is paramount. The spell can also shield your emotions, defending you from hurtful words, and from actual assault as well. It's uses go as far as your understanding of the word 'protect' is. The spell is 'protego'. Remember it, because you're going to be using it a LOT. Now, take a fifteen minute break to put your notes away, eat a snack, and use the bathroom, then meet me in the next room. After our practice session, tonight for homework, I want you all to think about what 'protect' really means."

After the hour and a half training session, where I had the recruits use the protect spell on themselves, then toss streams of fire, electric bolts, pebbles at each other, of course with Nadene and I present to heal any minor injuries they got if their protection spell dropped partway through, we were finished, and the exhausted ponies ate their dinners with no rush. I had made sure Maria, and the ever energetic Surprise, had made some meals for them as they wouldn't be eating with the rest of the crew, and once they were done, they dragged themselves to their beds and dropped dead in them. They would definitely sleep well tonight.

As for me, I woke up once from another nightmare I couldn't remember, but after getting some comfort from Gilda, I slept soundly the rest of the night. When morning came, I 'slept in' a little, so both Gilda and I had to run to beat the breakfast rush of the others. Aoi wasn't at breakfast either. After I ate, I went to locate the troubled wolf.

"Hey, I thought I'd find you here." I said as I entered the training hall, looked around, and saw several of the targets and dummies had been absolutely shredded.

"I guess I'm getting too predictable..." He replied sorrowfully.

"I take it you didn't sleep well?"

"Nightmares..." He stated simply as he put a wooden longsword on the rack.

"Right...... feel like talking?"

"About what?" He seemed suspicious of my intentions.

"Anything. Just to take your mind off stuff." He stared at me blankly. "Oh, that's right.... you're not very good with 'idle chatter'....." He began drinking from a canteen. "I guess I'll start. What kind of music do you like?"

"I don't listen to music much, pretty much the only stuff I've heard was the songs Keith blared over his sound system... That being said, I've never taken a liking to His choice of music: Metallica, Beatles, all the 'classical' rockbands. Kept me awake at night sometimes while he was working on god knows what..."

"Personally, I like soft rock, orchestra, and techno. Kind of an odd combination, but then what does that say about me?" I ask rhetorically. "Alright. Your go. Ask away." I got the feeling Aoi never got a chance to socialize, so this is probably awkward for him.

"So what did you do back when you were still human?..."

"Besides get beaten up and watch a show originally intended for little girls?"

"Yeah"

"I...... danced........And...... I sang....."

"What's wrong with that?" He asked, sensing my hesitation to talk about it.

"I......" I hung my head. "I was the only one.......... I loved it, everyone else hated me for it. Called me a 'Glee fag' and used it as just another excuse to hurt me. If you have any knowledge of basic psychology, the negative reinforcement really killed it for me. I guess that's when I stopped. Started being ashamed of what I did. It made me happy and they took it away.

"They being the bullies that toyed with you? Or was it someone else?"

"Well, my tormentors were a part of it but........ my parents."

"... I see..." I could almost see the gears in his head turning.

"They're the ones who originally put me in 'dance classes' So I'd stop being such a 'failure' and have a little dignity and poise. And I liked it. A lot. And as soon as I told them that, all of a sudden, we couldn't afford it anymore, dancing was for queers, and I was worthless for liking it. Maybe we could have afforded it if my dad didn't spend his ENTIRE FUCKING PAYCHECK ON BOOZE!" I nearly screamed, pounding my fist against the floor. I took a deep breath when I noticed Aoi looking at me strangely, calmed down, and continued the conversation.

"I started learning different kinds of dancing.... Aboriginal ceremonial, African tribal, Salsa, River, Shuffling. Of course, there was the music too, which I loved, and eventually lead to me singing as well. There wasn't much for dancing, but for singing, I joined the school musical. Of course, that just got me labeled as one of 'those' kids and made the bullying worse. I just put up with it." I let out a deep sigh.

"No matter what I did, it was never good enough, for anyone. I started not caring. My grades slipped, and while I got no appreciation for having low 90's, as soon as they dropped, there was hell to pay for that too. I stopped eating, just barely enough to get rid of my stomach pains. You saw me. Six foot three and a string bean." I looked up.

"Then I found My Little Pony and had a reason to be happy again. I started doing what I wanted, and I didn't care, but in a different way. Rather than not caring about myself, I started not caring about what others thought of me, other than not letting them know I was a brony and having them ruin it for me. I started eating again, going out, trying to make something of myself. My grades picked back up, I got a job, and paid to go to college. My parents got off my case for a while. And my dad..... in the rare moments that he wasn't sauced, didn't look at me with the disdain he used to have. There was a sadness in his eyes, like he regretted what he was doing, but in the end, he always went back to the bottle and became that monster again. My mother...... I don't even know how she feels. She never let it be known. She's always making me miserable, and we can't stand each other, but she must have cared for me a little, right? I mean, there was always food in the house, and she worked herself to the bone just to fuel my dad's alcoholism.......... Don't get me wrong, I still hate them, and they were terrible, but I guess after not seeing them for a while I'm starting to see what they were really like, instead of through red glasses. "

(In case you didn't know, that's a reference to rose coloured glasses that make seem everything wonderful, except with the opposite effect)

"Which is why you were so glad when you managed to end up here..." He said, walking over to a bench and sitting down next to me.

"Can you imagine? Best day of my life! I wound up in my dream world! A new start, somewhere it's actually possible to GET a start..... and then......." My face contorted into a look of pure rage. "I found out it's not so perfect after all. It might be selfish, it might be egotistical, but I DON'T CARE. This was MY fresh slate, MY second chance, and how DARE the world try and ruin THAT too! I WON'T LET IT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!"

"The world is cruel, and so is life, you can't expect anything different than that..." He said firmly, trying to take back control of the conversation. I ignored him.

"That's why I decided. The world can go FUCK itself. New body, no rules, unlimited opportunity, time to take it and make it my own. I watched ponies get captured in some nets, right in front of me. Back on Earth? I would have just walked by. Nothing I can do. Here? I can make a difference, and if the world isn't going to be the utopia it's supposed to be, I'm gonna kick the shit out of it till it is! I've got nothing left to lose, a lifetime of anger, and an entire country of proper outlets for aggression." I took a couple deep breaths, then turned to look out the window at the sun, already risen. "And then........ I changed again......" He looked at me oddly as my voice became calm, and even a little meek.

"Changed?" He asked.

"I found others I care about, who mean something to me. Gilda, Trixie, Nadene, Etch, Growl, Maria, Tiras, and everyone else. They're the family and friends I never had, and I don't want to lose them. When Celestia said that I'll die all alone......... I got scared. I'm not afraid of dying, I've been prepared for that for a long time. It's the alone part that terrifies me. Being all on my own again. I........ I don't...... want.... I don't......... alone...... Don't... please don't..... alone.... leave.... please... PLEASE... no alone....."

I clutched the side of my head, a sudden pounding and weakness making itself known, just like outside NeckTie's. I heard a voice, faded and distant. Overall, the effect was like when you get up too quickly and all the blood rushes out of your head. You're conscious, but your vision is black, your hearing is hazy, and you have no balance. "Gri....in?" I felt myself starting to fall and spread my legs out for a wider base of support. "You... ay?" I shook my head to clear my muddied thoughts, then grabbed the wolf's shoulder.

"Infirmary...... Now....." The seriousness in my voice, despite my speech being slurred, came across quite clear.

He helped me walk to the medical bay, Gilda meeting us partway and letting me lean on her as well. Once we got there they had me lay down so the cat could give me a shot of adrenaline, which she somehow was able to extract from plants? I don't even question this crap anymore, since Signal has pineapple trees. Pineapples don't grow on trees. Anyways, after I was feeling a little more awake, Nadene pumped me full of icing sugar from a piping bag.

"What happened?" Aoi asked, interrupting my monologue.

"Fucking magic......"

"... magic?"

"In this world, magic and emotion are synonymous. That's how changelings feed on love after all. Ever hear of people in hospitals making miraculous recoveries because they had a positive mood?"

"I can't say I have..."

"Lance Armstrong? That name ring a bell?"

"No..." How does he not know Lance Armstrong? I mean, he was some billionaire living national treasure in Japan, and he doesn't know about that? Right, he was an assassin. He didn't pay any attention to what was going on in the world besides his next job and where his target went.

"Heres the short version. He had like six different types of cancer, heart, lung, brain, testicular, and I forget the rest. The doctors gave him a couple months to live. He told them 'Screw you, I'm going to recover and win the Tour Du France.' And then, at the end, when he was supposed to be dead, he was fully recovered, impossibly so. Then, he did exactly what he said he was going to do. He had determination and a positive attitude, and he somehow recovered. Well... as you might have guessed, I'm emotionally...... unstable. No diagnosis, but I may quite possibly be bipolar. What happened just now.......... was the opposite of that. Amplified." I paused for a little while to let it sink in as to what was happening to me.

"I'm carrying a sadness in my heart, and every time I let go of a bit of it, the magical backlash from the emotional release causes some kind of....... negative physical effect, except for me, it seems to be amplified compared to what it should be, and what it is in normal people and ponies. They just feel sad, or their manes, feathers, tails, or whatever else they have droop. Me? My blood pressure and sugar drops. It may have something to do with the dragon blood, but I can't be sure."

Aoi muttered something to himself, although I'm not sure what.

"I'll survive......" I continued. "As long as I have people around me who care for me, I don't have to bear the burden alone, and when I try to let go of it, a little bit at a time, there'll be someone to haul my stupid ass to the medics and stabilize me, speaking of which...."

"Yeah, you can go, just no more being a drama queen tonight, alright?" Nadene said playfully.

"Yeah, I don't think I'd survive another one of your melodramatic outbursts." Trix laughed in the bed across the bay. "Ow."

"Trixie, try not to move or you'll tear open the hole again. We were barely able to patch your lung the first time, so unless you want to have surgery again, sit tight."

"Fine....." The unicorn muttered.

I slowly climbed out of the bed to give both Gilda and Nadene a big hug, the latter purring in my feathers and the former telling me to make sure she's there next time. "By the way..... Gilda, can you go to our room and grab the scroll on the desk real quick? It's from Celestia, but I haven't read it yet."

"Another letter from the Princess?" Aoi asked.

"Yeah, we send them back and forth fairly often, since we have a pretty good way of doing it." She left and quickly returned with the heavy looking package, more of a newspaper than a scroll, yet still a message paper within. How I didn't wake up when I burped this massive thing up, I don't know.

Dear Griffin,

In regards to my previous message, I realized you may not GET the newspaper on board your ship, so I sent you one.

I unfolded the newspaper. The front page had me, giving the sun princess a hug, and the headline, 'Sir Griffin North declares Princess Celestia as 'Best Pony' after knighting ceremony faux pas. See page 3 for more details.'

"PFFFT!...." My entire crew began snickering, Aoi joining right in.

"That..... that's not me......... Knightmare, you FAHKING TRAITOR!" I took a deep breath to calm myself. This day has had way more excitement than it should have. "Okay...... I'll admit...... she got me......"

"I take it back, NOW I feel sorry for you." Damn wolf.........

"Yeah yeah, let's see what's the rest of the message says......

As for your nightmares, I apologize. During my.... outburst, on board your ship, it seems you absorbed some negative experiences from my own past. You live them out in your dreams, but as they are my memories, not yours, you do not recall them when you wake. This effect should pass in a couple days. If it does not, return to Canterlot immediately. As for why you were affected in the first place, it seems as though you are more susceptible to absorbing ambient magic than most, although the cause of this is still unknown, and given your hurry to leave, I doubt you'd stay so we can examine you properly.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

"It seems I'm not the only one with nightmares..." The lunar legend finally spoke.

"You don't say?" I give him the classic memeface. "Hey, there's another note here."

Considering the number of catastrophic events that have occurred recently, I will be putting the 'Mark 1 Laser Rifle' plans you provided into mass production in order to properly arm Equestrian defense forces so they can properly deal with further outbreaks. It will be of great use in the times to come. You have my thanks.

"That's odd, it wasn't signed or anything....... No designation, just the message itself...."

"Something's wrong..." Aoi states. He's on high alert, but there isn't any need for that, which I then explained why.

"This note isn't from the princesses.... else it would have been in the letter itself, yet it came with the letter so........it's from someone working with them who's trying to keep their identity secret...... I guess the princesses have their own secret organization, and whoever is at the head of it saw fit to thank me personally." I sighed. Once again I'm making things too complicated.

"And now I'm just reading too much into things. Either way, it doesn't matter. If the princess trusts them, I have no reason not to. The only thing I don't trust Celestia and Luna with are when they try pranking me..... Anyways, I think it's your turn to ask a question Aoi." He seemed hesitant. Of course, after what his last question did to me, if I were in his shoes, I would be too. "Don't worry about me collapsing again. I'm in the medical ward, and I don't think it can happen twice in one day."

"I've asked all the questions I needed, unless you have a question?"

"Hmm.... yeah.... what's the REAL reason you wanted out of the knighting ceremony?"

"If you really want to know... I've had too many titles given to me already, each one bringing unwanted attention, hollow praise.... and sickening hypocrisy..." Exactly what he said before..... "And what about you? You started up the ship like you were running from the devil itself. Don't tell me that you didn't want another title, one you could have used to gain some leverage with some of the nobility."

"And there you go. Keyword. Nobility. If I was knighted, I'd have to swear fealty to the princesses and come running to fix their problems all the time. I have my own stuff to do. If I don't answer a summons, or I do something unfitting of 'nobility' then I bring shame to Celestia, Luna, and all the nobles...... and I'm missing the downside aren't I? That actually sounds like a pretty good deal now that I think about it......" I tilted my head to the side slightly. "Downsides, downsides...... Well, for one, I don't want that kind of responsibility. I've got my own country to carry on my back, I don't need hers. For two, conflict of interest. If I'm sworn to do what's best for Equestria, and the princess orders me, as her knight, to do something that is good for them, yet, not in the best interest of my own nation, I'd be in a bit of a sticky situation. Three, possibly the most important of all, I'd actually have to PUT UP WITH nobility! From what I've seen of Prince Blueblood, he's probably one of the milder nobles."

"I get the picture... "So why did you ask me if you already knew why I dropped out?"

"I like ask important questions twice. If you ask someone something once, they'll give you a quick answer to satisfy you, but it's not a real answer. If you ask twice, they'll really think about it. I was hoping to figure you out a bit more. That failed. You're either an open book or a fantastic liar."

"A little from column A, a little from column B." He shrugs.

"So, once we reach the border of Gem Fido, what are you going to do? Jump ship or stay a while till you figure out where to go?" I asked.

"There's a place I'd like to head to... a warren called the Oblong Tomb..."

"I'm not sure where that is. If it's on the way to Masonry, we'll drop you off, and if it's past it, we'll drop you off there once we're done. Etch and Growl might know specifically. If not, ask your own hounds."

"Hmm, I'll ask them when I get the chance."

Magic Class, Later That Day

"Alright, so you all know about magic charging, as well as some words and intent. The way intent also works is by deciding not only what the spell affects, but how it affects it. For example. 'Umbra' as you saw yesterday, Was able to mute Surprise by shrouding the senses, but was also able to cloak me in shadows. Now, a shadow cloak is just one way to use the darkness. Here's another. Umbra."

I began making shadow puppets on the wall, without actually using my hands. A dove, a bear, a tiger....... and then a pony being brutally murdered by a griffin. The class didn't very much like the last one.

"Distractions. Common knowledge, people are afraid of the unknown. Darkness is, by definition, unknown. You cannot see what is inside it. So, people fear the dark, because they don't know whether or not some monster is hiding in it, waiting for them to turn their backs. By making frightening shadows, you can scare, bewilder, and confuse opponents, making them believe there is something there isn't... such as......." I then made a shadow that was covered in spikes, had piercing eyes, and wicked sharp teeth. "If you were walking down the street, and you saw this, you'd probably run screaming. Well, in diamond dog warrens, there isn't much light, so shadow manipulation is easy, and it will actually last without having to pour any more magic into is so long as there isn't any light to send it away. You can blend into the darkness, then send these 'specters' out to scare others away, letting you pass unseen. And if you ARE seen...... umbra." I brought the shadows forth again, covering me. But this time, I had them cover my body in a nice black suit, and form tendrils of darkness out my back. That's right. I just became SlenderGrif.

"Fear is one of the easiest ways to control someone. Scare your opponent, and they won't think straight. If they don't think straight, they'll make mistakes. Mistakes you can use to your advantage. That's just one more way to use shadow manipulation. Now, for the other side of umbra. Binding the senses. We've already used mute, making one unable to talk. What about blind? I hadn't realized it before, when I was asked by one of my diamond dog crew members, but that can be used for it as well. Or, if you're in pain, use it on yourself to bind your sense of touch, making it act as an anesthetic. This is why we need to focus on understanding the words, more than just their basic meaning. If we do that, we might come up with an entirely new meaning, and thus, new uses, for an existing spell. Just as protect will shield you, umbra will hide you, or debilitate your enemies. Imagine fighting an army that can't see. Or, maybe they can't communicate orders? They'd stumble around, confused, and lost. They'd lose all sense of organization and just fall apart."

"That's a bit of a dirty way to fight....."

"Aha! And there we are! You see, there's something you need to get in your head. When you're fighting, unless it's a duel, you're fighting for your life. If you lose, you die, and everything that ever mattered to you gets taken away. Tell me, if a kidnapper broke into your home, intending to steal your daughter away from you, would you be above, kicking, scratching, biting, hitting below the belt, spitting in their eyes, or throwing burning coals on them to beat them?"

"No..... I suppose I'd fight with everything I had available to me."

"That's what's called being a 'cornered rat'. It's called that because when the rat is trapped by the cat, it knows that if it loses, it's all over, so it fights with everything it has. It becomes crafty, cruel, and wicked, lashing out in any way possible to defend against it's attacker. That's what we're doing. Who cares if we fight dirty, so long as we win? History is written by the winners. If we win a battle that saves lives, overthrows tyranny, and rescues the innocent, who cares if we use dirty underhanded tactics to do it? It get's the job done, doesn't it? That is why we call ourselves pirates. We stoop to the lowest level possible. If we can capture a city more easily and with less loss of life by sneaking in through the sewers than by laying siege to it in a battle of glory, then we will. That's the reason that, for all the fights we've been in, we've only lost a single crew member, which was due to lack of organization, and is the very reason you're all here now."

"I see...... I think I understand a bit better now...."

"Good. Now, I know for a fact that ponies are rather skittish. You freeze up or freak out when you see something that scares you. So, we're going to play a little game to fix that. I'm going to have my crew members, when they're not busy doing something else, do their best to scare the living daylights out of you. The game won't simply end if you succeed in not being frightened, we'll continue trying to scare you, coming up with new ways, probably for as long as you're on the ship. You won't know when it's coming, or what it will be. I also happen to be a very scary person, and will be playing as well. I expect many of you will wet yourselves, and there is no shame in that. Welcome to the haunted house of horrors. Until you can learn to get over your instinct to run around screaming when something bad happens, you won't be of any use to me, so we're gonna scare you so much that you won't be afraid of anything anymore." Suddenly, my face became shrouded with the still active shadow spell, making me seem a lot darker than I really am.

"Of course, you're all invited to try and scare us as well, it wouldn't be fair to have it only go one way. Have fun........"

With that, SlenderGrif faded away into the shadows, leaving twenty ponies wondering just what in the name of Celestia they had gotten themselves into.

Get Off My Ship (82)

Get Off My Ship

Over the course of the trip, I trained a fair bit with Aoi, working out the kinks in my style, and figuring out new things I could do to protect against fast attackers, most of which involved me abandoning Hades for my claws. I taught the class as much magic as I could remember, and they taught me a great deal as well, such as different ways to combine words that I hadn't thought of. We also got pretty good at scaring one another, although by my order, nobody tried to frighten Aoi, Ubi, or Eol. I don't know about his two companions, but the wolf almost cut me in half when he was in his 'right mind' I don't want to think of what would happen to a pony if they startled him. It wouldn't be good for anyone involved.

"Alright, so, I've taught you all that I know about Latin based magic. I am by no means a master, and I'm sure there's more out there, but I don't have access to any references to build my repertoire any further. The rest of it will just be you practicing what you've already learned, and figuring it out on your own. I expect that you'll log any findings you discover. Eventually, I plan on putting a book together for the Canterlot Institute, and of course, anything you discover will be accredited to you, and I'm certain that even after you are no longer on my ship, you will continue to build on what you learned. As for that, since this is our last formal class, I want you all to tell me what you've learned. Starlight Wisp?"

"I've learned that the world may be scary, but with preparation and planning, a cool head...... and a tiny bit of crazy, you can take on anything that comes your way." The unicorn answered. She had essentially become a specter. Mastering her own powers of intangibility, the invisibility spell obscuro, and umbra, she could move like a ghost and lash out from anywhere. The perfect assassin.

"Dusty Trails?"

"I learned you're never too old to do something new, and when I eventually do get off this ship, I'm heading back out into the world as an adventurer again. I also learned that I can use my bare hooves to shatter solid rock!" We had built on his natural earth pony abilities, which is a high endurance, as well as large, previously inaccessible magic reserve, he can throw a plethora of buffs on himself. Combining speed for momentum, strength for force, and protect to harden himself, he was able to smash a boulder to bits. He figured that protect is like a shield, and since there's such a thing as shield bashing, by casting protect on yourself and hitting something, you'll hit it that much harder.

"Surprise?"

"I learned how to make a shadow mousy! Isn't he adorable! I call him whiskers!" The three dimensional apparition of darkness scurried all over her and rested in her mane, making it a literal rat's nest..... except that it was a mouse. I walked over to examine it, confused as I felt it run up my leg, around my head, then back to it's maker.

"Surprise....... you just gave shadows, the absence of light, physical properties......... how?"

"I dunno, just did. Look how cute he is!" She held up 'Whiskers' who looked at me with great, big, adorable eyes of white.... basically, a lack of darkness.

"He's really smart too! He knows all about baking and parties!"

"Well, you did make him... wait.... are you telling me it's sentient? I mean, you aren't controlling him to make him do that? He does it all on his own?"

"Ya huh. The other day he ran off and I couldn't find him, but he was hiding in the shadows in the corner the whole time. He can stay in the light fine, but then he get's hungry, so he just hides in the shadows for a bit and he's fine."

"It.... it can separate itself from you?" My eye twitched. Everything she described, according to what I know of magic, is fundamentally impossible. She gave the absence of light a physical form, knowledge, and as far as I can tell, a soul of it's own, in that it doesn't need her to sustain it. What's more, in direct sunlight from the window, it didn't disappear, or waver at all. For all intents and purposes, it was a real mouse, except it didn't eat or make droppings, and it could still become a flat shadow to protect itself, and as such, most likely could not die, and it draws it's power from darkness.

"Yep yep yep, although he doesn't like to. He loves his mommy." It then nuzzled into her mane and made soft squeaks of contentment.

"I..... I don't even know anymore. If you ever figure out how you did that, can I be the first to know?"

"Yuppers!" And then she bounced off merrily.

'She just made a fully self sustaining organism of pure magic, out of nothing more than a shadow. It's a pegasus Pinkie Pie, don't question it. Note to self, do NOT teach Pinkie magic. Actually, maybe I shouldn't learn how to do that. Knowing me, I'd wind up the host of 'The Darkness' and that wouldn't be good at all.'

The rest of the class other than those three, who had turned into my 'star pupils' during their stay, went over their lessons, what spells they learned, and how they could help. One pegasus was so skilled with water magic that he could quite possibly sustain a pony's bodily functions for an hour after their heart stopped. I also taught him how to use that in combat. He can freeze part of your blood into a needle and rip it out of you, all over. He basically activates 'aqua', and your body blooms into a blood explosion, as he takes all your body fluids and pulls them away from you in all directions. I had him test it on some meat we had in our freezer. Not pretty at all, and by that, I mean it was fucking beautiful. Little chunks of meat EVERYWHERE. He seemed horrified of it though. Sure, it's a powerful skill, but getting him to actually use it will be another matter entirely. Goes to show that a skill that can be used to save lives can also be used to end them. Pony blood bender. Yikes. I'll have to keep an eye on that one.

"Starlight..... what are you doing here? Class is over, everyone else has left."

"I..... I wanted to thank you. In the school for gifted unicorns, we learn specific spell for each situation but, there's so much missing. All the different ways to use one spell. Who would have thought to use my intangibility to reach into a body and remove something lodged inside......" She looked a little sick. ".....or yank out a foe's heart, all the while being untouchable by any physical means. I still have to deal with pure magic though. I can stand in the hottest flames and walk straight through walls, but I still have to watch for other magic, or else I'll get knocked out of it and wind up stuck halfway through something. Still.... to have come up with all those different uses for a single spell, you must be a genius. And Lyra told me you said humans didn't have magic. Looks like the rumors of your kind being masters at it weren't false after all."

"Heh, no problem. I'm not even that smart.... I suppose there's a saying. If you judge a fish by it's ability to climb, then they're all idiots. I'm just using what I have." I smiled warmly at the praise. I hadn't gotten praise back home, so when I started getting it here, I brushed it off. I finally learned to accept someone's thanks. "There must be another reason for this chat, other than bootlicking, am I right?" She knew it was a joke, having gotten used to my terms and such when I taught.

"Well, I have a confession to make. I'm Celestia's spy."

"And?"

"And...... I've had nothing to report to her other than that you're a human, and that you're crazy... by pony standards anyways, which I have the nagging suspicion she already knows both."

"Yeah. It's still a shame that she doesn't trust me. I'm pretty much helpless in my human form, and I 'stripped down' to it right in front of her, but she doesn't even give me the benefit of the doubt. *Sigh* Well, there's not much I can do about that, other than to let you keep doing your job, which, given what I've taught you, you'll be even better at now."

"What I don't understand is what you expect us to do with these skills after. You already said, you've taught us, and after we do a tour of duty, we'll be free to go. What do you expect us to do with what we know after all this?"

"Bring it to Celesita. What I've taught you are the skills, and what I'l still teaching is the determination, to be able to kill something or someone to protect yourself and your loved ones. The first time I met ponies, it was on a beach in the Dominion, there were four of them, two stallions, two mares, all drunk. A squad of diamond dogs netted them, and they were completely helpless. I can't be everywhere at once. I can't do it all on my own. Even if I build a wall, things will slip through the cracks. So, the only way to stop it, it to teach those who are there. Have every innocent know how to protect themselves. That way, I don't need to be everywhere, and when things happen, you don't need someone to save you. You can save yourselves."

"I see...... this entire time, you wanted unicorns for communication only, so, these classes, they weren't so we could serve on your ship better... they were entirely for our benefit........."

"Not true. Sure, those on board will know how to fight, and it stops you from being a burden, but if I don't have to run to your rescue, that makes things easier on me. I'm helping you to help me to help you to help me, if that makes any sense."

"Well, I guess I know what to write the princess now."

"Yeah."

I had learned from Etch that the Oblong Tomb, where Aoi is headed, was actually on the way to Masonry. It was night, and he was laying in bed, so I decided to tell him in the morning. Well, that was the original plan but.....

*Crash*

*Bang*

*Boom*

*Smash*

"GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

"QUIT BREAKIN THA SHIP!"

'What in the name of..'

"What the hell is going on here?!?!?" I asked, looking at Aoi and Steelhorn who were having an argument. Apparently a pretty heated one, seeing as how furniture was splintered and the wolf's door was knocked off it's hinges.

"Yoor blasted guest went bonkers an started smashin bit o the ship!"

"There's a rat infestation!"

"What?"

"Oh! there you are Whiskers! Naughty boy, running away like that. You shouldn't sneak into other pony's rooms, even if they aren't ponies." Surprise scolded her construct in a loving and cheery way that did not at all reflect the gravity of the situation... which I did not yet understand. Aoi's eyes locked on the little shadow mouse sitting on her head and went wide with fear.

"What's this commotion all about? This little guy?" He scurried up my leg, onto my head. "He's adorable."

"What are you waiting for? Get rid of the little vermin!"

"Vermin? He's Surprise's pet. She went through all the effort of making him, I suggest you be a little nicer."

"I will NOT stay on the same ship as that thing."

"Well, looks like you won't have to. We'll be over Oblong Tomb tomorrow. That's when you'll depart. Now, I suggest everyone go back to your rooms and get a good night's sleep, and Surprise, try and keep Whiskers on a tighter leash...."

"But, he doesn't have a leash...."

"Figure of speech..." I facepalmed. She nodded and skipped merrily back to her room. I don't freaking believe this. Aoi is scared of mice. You've got to be kidding.....

The next morning I got up and stretched like a cat does, popping my back in the usual manner. "Mornin Gilda."

"Mornin Grif." Then, I heard some shouting, and the door got ripped off it's hinges. Gilda quickly covered herself with the blankets, although I don't know why since we're always naked anyways.

"... the hell. Aoi! i thought Steelhorn explicitly told you to STOP BREAKING THE SHIP."

"LAND THIS SHIP NOW! I WANT TO GET OFF!" He screamed. Is he serious?

"...... there are ropes. Just throw one over the edge and you're off. You can literally leave any time you want...."

"THIS ISN'T A DAMN JOKE GRIFFIN, TELL YOUR ENGINEER OR WHATEVER TO LAND THE SHIP!" Everyone else woke up and began staring at him.

"I'm not joking. Just go to the deck, grab a rope, and throw it over the edge, then climb down. It's not that hard. We're already at low altitude." He storms off, presumably towards the deck.

"I.... I think I should follow him. Make sure he doesn't break anything else....."

On the deck, I see Aoi taking a rope that's tied to one of the pillars, wrapping it around his waist, and leaning over the railing. "If you've got any friends to say goodbye to, do so now..." Everyone simply looks at each other awkwardly, till I feel something small scurry up my leg, across my back, and come to rest atop my head.

"Whiskers? Where are you?" Came Surprise's call from within the ship. Sure enough, the shadow mouse is sitting on my head. He came to see Aoi off.

"Aww, look Aoi, he came to say good bye. He must like you. Are you sure you won't give him a hug?" The wolf draws his blade and points it at me, his features twisted into a snarl.

"Griffin... Just grab the mouse, put it down on the deck, and walk away..." A sinister grin makes itself present on my face.

"Aww. Aoi afraid of the little mousy. It's adorable! Besides..... I couldn't grab the little scamp if I tried. He'll just go flat again."

"A flick of my wrist, and your head goes off, DON'T TEST ME GRIFFIN..." Damn, he's serious. Alright, fine, no more jokes.

"Yeah yeah, fine, I'm goin. Just get outta here before you break anything else..... sheesh, and he calls me the drama queen." I walked back to the white pegasus and passed her construct to her. I return, now mouse free, and look at the wolf hanging over the edge. "Welp, see you around. Or, maybe not. Whichever. "Hope you find what you're looking for. And may all the crypts you delve be spider and rodent free." Yeah right, half the time, that's all that's in there. He leaps off, flipping me the bird before he spins and slows himself by gripping the rope.

After he's gone, Whiskers looked up at me with big, sad eyes. "Seriously Surprise, I need to learn how to do that. This guy's adorable! Imagine if everyone in Equestria had their own little shadow pets..... Little familiars to help em out, snuggle with."

"So that explains it..." Eol snickers, realizing why his leader wanted off so bad, and not looking sea sick anymore. He turns to look at one of the cats, Elli's her name I think... "Well, I guess this is goodbye Elli."

"Alright guys, give em some room, they're having a moment." I can read the atmosphere perfectly. The rest of the crew backed off and gave them their space, and by that, I mean hid so they could watch.

"Elli, you know I have to go... besides, I could never leave him, he's the only family I have left..." She takes off a pendant she wears around her neck and gives it to him.

"Then keep this with you, so that you won't forget me..."

"Awwwwwwww." rings out from various places around the deck where my crew is hiding.

"Damnit guys! I said give em room!"

"But you're watching too...."

"Shut up!" I reprimand them. He turns, gives me a salute, then dives off as well. At least he was polite enough not to flip me off.

The third dog wals up to me and glares, saying nothing.

"Well......... I don't really know you, and we never spoke much but, good luck on your travels, and may you find whatever you're looking for Ubi." Hey! I remembered his name, finally.

"I still think you're a melodramatic, slack beaked, cloudheaded idiot...." He shouted in my face before standing on the railing. "Which is why you're gonna need all the luck you can get... so good luck to you too..." And then he dove off.

"And a big ol FUCK YOU to you too! You can walk next time you unappreciative pricks!"" I shouted after him. Honestly. I've been nothing but nice to those three the entire time I've known them, and this is how they repay my kindness? I gave them a free ride, meals, and beds for almost two weeks, and a week's supply for when they're traveling after they leave, and all they've done is mock me, break my things, and give me the finger. Little advice for the future, NEVER PICK UP HITCHHIKERS!

Interrupted Bliss (83)

Interrupted Bliss

"Sailing sailing, in the skies we sing, who knows, what disaster, the future will bring!" I sang merrily to the sunset on the top deck.

"Grif, you're awfully cheerful...." Gilda noticed as she came up beside me.

"What's not to be happy about? Asshole Aoi is off the ship, I've got the most gorgeous griffin in the world by my side," She blushed a bit at this part, " friends, family, food, drink, and open skies. I've got some new recruits to keep us organized, and we're finally getting back to doing what we're meant to do. Good, old fashioned violence. None of this crappy demon fighting or social events. Just raiding and pillaging. Oh...... and Ember......... I'll figure that out soon enough."

"That's what I like to see." She rubbed up against me, and I moved closer in response. "The confidence to take on the world. Don't ever lose it..." The cool night air of Gem Fido running through my feathers and fur giving me a slight tingle up my spine... or, was it anticipation?

"Yeah, I have the feeling everything will turn out alright. I can start relying on the crew more. They know what they're doing, and I know I can't do everything myself. Still, I'm not really used to relying on others all that much, but I'm gonna have to get used to it...... Ember is a problem though....." I let out a sigh.

"If I said I wasn't worried, I'd be lying. I saw what she did at the gala." Her eyes indeed did betray her worry, looking me over with a bit a fright.

"I know.... way I figure, if we run away, she's only gonna get stronger and angrier, hunt us down, and kill me. If I go to her, she just might be off guard enough for me to whack some sense into her, and if I fail and die there, well..... it'd be the same result, just a little sooner and a different location, and instead of the ship getting ripped up, you'd all still be around to keep going."

"Grif.... don't talk like that...... I don't want to lose you....."

"Gilda, this is important okay. The fact is, I really might not come back after seeing her. If I don't...... I want you to continue doing what we were doing. Take the ship and the crew, go out there, and smash this country to pieces....... In our room, my desk, the locked top drawer, if I don't come back, I want you to open that. It has my journal. That book contains everything I know, my knowledge, philosophies, my thoughts, plans, secrets, everything. If I die, I want you to have it."

"Then why go alone? Why not have us come with?"

"She probably won't be willing to talk, but she REALLY won't be willing if we show up in force. The only chance is a one on one, and if I die, don't fight her. Run. Anyone who comes with me is just asking to die. Heck, I don't even want to go myself, but I don't have much of a choice here. If it comes down to that.... leave while you have the chance. Until then, we don't know when or where we'll run into her, so let's just enjoy ourselves yeah?"

"Yeah...." Her eyes quivered, as though there were tears in them, but she held them back.

"So..... we got some time. We could dance under the stars, have a moonlight meal, just cuddle, talk, what do you want to do?"

"You." Was her reply. I facepalmed.

"Really? What am I, a sex toy?" I said with over dramatic sarcasm.

"Hey, you're like, an 8/10. Can you blame me?"

"What......"

"You know, everyone's got a number, out of ten, for how hot someone is. Looks alone, you're an 8/10."

"Wait a sec....... I'm attractive?"

"Why else do you think you got people to follow you so easily?"

"Charisma, wit, and charm?"

"Well, that helps, but, mainly, you're damn sexy."

"You're kidding......"

"Well, before your feathers came in, you were pretty average, but those red feathers, and all the muscle from working out, and the couple of scars from the fights.... yeah, you're pretty good looking."

"Well, at least I know you and Trixie stuck by me at the beginning for my personality, since the hotness came after. What about the 'other' me?"

"Well, I wasn't sure at first, but those hands are fantastic. Getting grabbed all over, squeezed, held tightly, smooth skin rubbing fur.." She shuddered. "it's contact you just don't get. Ponies have hooves, griffins, dragons, and dogs have claws. I mean, it's not the best during, but the foreplay is beyond anything else."

"Well... you know, I guess we COULD always go mess around a bit.... seapony style?"

"Duh, it's the hottest thing there is, being able to see the face of your partner, and rubbing stomachs together.....It's kinky. You know 'escort services' actually charge 15% more for that?"

"Wait.... ponies have prostitutes?"

"Well, yeah, considering how many mares there are, a bunch of stallions figured it would be a good way to make bits. Of course, geeky guys can go there for mares too."

"You know an awful lot about this....."

"I was a working girl for a month. Some ponies..... they have a thing for griffins. It was all mares with me though, and for the most part, they just had me 'cuddle' with them. Again, feathers, soft. Just lay with them till they fall asleep, and stay the night. Then they wake up in your arms, pay you, and you're on your way. Sure, some wanted sex, but mostly they just don't want to be alone."

"Same..... being alone sucks. It's nice to feel like someone cares for you, even if it's bought and they don't really." I turned and smiled at her. "Except we don't pay each other."

"Good thing too, because there's no way you could afford this." She swished her tail in my face and giggled. "Well, come on."

"Ahh........" We both sighed in satisfaction. "I guess we can just call it even......"

"Sounds good to me." I smiled.

"We best get going...."

"Yeah....." Neither of us moved. "Or, we could just lay here."

"We could......" She rolled over and put her head on my chest. "I kind of wish things would just stay like this forever you know?"

"Yeah....." We wrapped our arms and wings around each other, then fell asleep.

We woke up to the alarm blaring, making the two of us practically jump out of bed. We quickly dove to our gear and got suited up while using the PA to get the situation.

"Single airship, off ze port bow, it looks damaged. Orders?"

"Approach cautiously, could be a trap, ready the troops, get some scouts out there, and get Tiras on the gun."

"Aye." Cable's voice left in a bit of static, then silence, then the orders being relayed to the rest of the ship. We waited in the room for a few moments for the hustle in the corridors to wind down, then headed to the top deck. The griffins and their riders were there, the rest of the cats at the cannons below, and the ponies were also on deck.

"Alright, here's the deal..... we have no idea what's going on. I'm currently without a rider as Trixie is still in the hospital, so, Starlight Wisp, you're with me. I'll get you to the ship and get you on board. Use your intangibility to get us in and find out what the heck is going on. At the first sign of a trap we'll bail and shoot it down. Everyone else, at the ready, I don't want to get caught off guard."

With everyone on highest alert, I strapped Starlight in and flew to the ship. Of course, she had only flown on griffinback once before, so, she was feeling pretty nervous, and had a death grip on me the entire time, despite being thoroughly secured. Once we arrived at the ship, I clung to the side of the hull to give her a minute, before climbing on board. Looking over it, I'm not even sure how it was still flying. The once pristine bag had some holes in it, a large chunk of the sturdy mahogany outer hull was missing, with small bits of it still smoldering. The rudder was gone, entirely, and only the center turbine was working, the two on the sides were bent and mangled beyond recognition. The top deck was caked in dried blood and burns, the captains wheel was gone, two of the balloon ties, gone. Mooring lines, not there either. The anchor was a puddle of slag, and all that remained of the captains quarters was a single scorched post. There was no steering this thing, and the crew seemed to be dead. My rider started hyperventilating at the scene before us.

"Breathe okay?" I needed her calm and collected. Further inspection showed that the metal grate to the hold had been sealed shut, melted as well. There was no getting in or out. "Turn on your spell so we can get inside. You're not gonna fall, and I can handle a couple dogs if it comes to a fight." Taking a few more minutes to calm herself, minutes in which the crew was on edge as we sailed parallel to the vessel with the leaking airbag, broken rudder, and burn marks along it's hull, she finally was able to cast the spell and let us slip inside. What we saw...... was beyond definition. Diamond dogs, griffins, and ponies of all flavours, many with singed parts, others bleeding, and all tired. The only ones that weren't crying of fear, pain, and hunger were the ones that had succumbed to their wounds. Wisp dropped the spell and stared in awe.

"What in Celestia's name happened?"

"This marking...." I looked at one of the dog's jackets. "It's the same as the ships before. This thing came from Masonry."

"All that's left...." A mare said, very much in shock. "You.... you're Griffin? They... they always said you'd come... the others..... but you never came...... They died, but..... we live?" She said the last bit as a question, as if she wasn't sure of it herself. "Come.... come to take us away?"

"Yeah..... it's alright.... I'm here. I'm going to get you home, with all your friends and family again..."

"No.... no! You won't! You're won't send me to the other side!"

"What? No! I'm bringing you back to Equestria! To see your loved ones again!"

"All my friends..... were inside......" I swallowed hard. This is not turning out good at all. I turned to look at the others, hoping to find one more mentally stable. "What happened?"

"Dragon.... young... black." One of the dogs added.

"Did she have wings?"

"No. Rage. Insanity. Slaughtered. Speaks to self." Another put in.

"...... Let's get these guys on board, get em cleaned up, some food, and medical attention....."

"Yeah."

We motioned for the ship to pull up close and lowered the gang plank. We moved all the ragged survivors on board and had them brought down to the medical bay for treatment, then shot down the shattered husk of a ship because frankly, we were tired of looking at it, and burning the bodies on board was better than letting them rot as the thing drifted into Equestrian airspace.

"Well.... looks like we found Ember, and she ain't happy."

"That's an understatement. Are you sure you still want to do this?" Gilda asked me.

"Not at all, but, I don't see any other options at this point. Remember, if things go south..." I was interrupted by Gilda throwing her arms around me and burying her face in my neck.

"First sign of trouble, get out of there. That way, we're still alive to think of something. Be smart alright? We can't do this without you...."

"That's the thing...... you can. This entire time, I've been putting the whole load on myself, but the truth is, you're ready. If I die, you could do it..... All I am is an idea guy, a dreamer, and all my dreams are in a book in the top drawer of my bedside table. You're smart, Trixie is smart, and you've hung out with me enough that you know how I think. And don't worry, as soon as I think I can't handle myself, I'm gonna bail."

"It's a shame my intangibility doesn't work against magic, and a single lick of dragonfire would put an end to it...." The unicorn stated as she came up beside me as well. "It's only been a couple weeks, and I originally came here as a spy, but I've learned so much. Just, come back okay?"

"Expect the worst, then plan to have the best outcome. Besides, I'm too stubborn and far too sexy to die. I'll be just fine, this is all just in case I'm not."

Standing on the deck, near the bow, I looked out on the horizon, and where the stone pillars of Masonry were the last time we visited now stood a volcano, boiling lava not spraying violently, but rather oozing down the sides and wrecking the valley below, the broken hulls of airships slowly being turned to ash as the molten rock swallowed them. If it was a natural disaster, it would have been horrifying, but apparently this was caused BY Ember going on a rampage. Looking at what I was about to throw myself into, I felt like I was being dangled above a bunch of hungry lions. This was quite possibly the first time since I arrived in Equestria that I had been well and truly terrified.

"Leeeroy..... Jenkiiinnnnnnsssss. Wryyy? Charge?" I could think of no words of courage that could possibly steel myself for what I was about to do. "Ah fuck it." And then I set off for the boiling hell below.

'Just because I'm prepared to die doesn't mean I want to. Whoever sent me here, please bail me out, I don't want to die yet.'

Embers Of A Past Blaze (84)

Embers Of A Past Flame

As the ship slowly rose into the cover of the clouds for safety, following my instructions to still be nearby in case I needed it, I slowly flew towards the base of the smoldering mountain, hoping to put off doing this for as long as possible to prepare myself mentally. 'If Ember turned this city into a volcano, I have my work cut out for me.'

As I began my approach, I spotted a familiar looking pony wearing gleaming metal armor, although it is now covered in soot, as well as a unicorn standing nearby. The armored pony took her helmet off to speak.

"Griffin, you're here, thank Celestia. I almost thought you would leave us in this mess." She said with a manner of desperation. Thank goodness I'm here? Who am I, spiderma.......superman? And how did she know I was coming? I'm just here to have a chat with Ember and hopefully not die.....

"Umm...... who are you again? I kinda forgot your name..... and why the hell am I helping you?"

"I'm Ritz, and your going to help me because Ember is close to starting the Apocalypse, and has barely managed to retain a modicum of sanity over the past two weeks." Oh for fuck's sake. Really? Is this going to become a weekly occurrence?

I sighed. "Great, just great. I barely get finished dealing with one end of the world, and now I've got to put up with another. Okay. What's wrong with her, how bad is it, what is she doing, and how can I stop it?" If she's here to help, I might as well accept it. Anything to make my job easier.

Ritz turned pale, her sooty face becoming white as snow. "Just follow me." She muttered as she lead me towards the mouth of a cave set in the burning mountain.

'Man, I am so screwed.'

First thing I notice as I entered is that it wasn't hot. I've been to a volcano before, and it was hot. Why isn't it hot? It should be hot. And it shouldn't be dark either. It looks like I'm in a cave system that is somehow miraculously shielded from the tons of boiling lava right above my head. Luckily, the unicorn with us used her horn to light the cavern so we could see. Stalagmites and stalactites all over,the sound of dripping water that you'd expect strangely absent, only our breathing and footsteps echoing in the dark. We traveled for a good ten minutes or so, although I couldn't really tell in the dark of the cave how much time has actually passed, till we reached a large, empty room that reminded me of the mines of Moria burial chamber. Ritz turned to look at me, concern in her eyes.

"Ember is through here, but you'll not enjoy what you see." She looked afraid, terrified, positively haunted as she once again regards the door.

"Well, here's hoping I don't die." I drew my sword and held it in front of me, much the way a knight would. "Protego." Then I sheathed it again as I felt my skin harden. Resisting the urge to make a metapod joke, I gave the door a knock and waited.
.
.
.
.
Nothing.

Ritz put a hoof on my shoulder. "Open it, she can't."

"Of course." Duh. "HEY EMBER! I'M COMING IN THERE, DON'T GO TRYING TO KILL ME BECAUSE IF I DIE I'LL BE REALLY PISSED OFF!" With that, I pushed the heavy stone slab open, revealing the inner chamber as Ritz and the unicorn face hoofed. As I entered, I heard a sad violin song. You know, the one that makes everyone cry? Damn it, why did that song have to start playing now? Does this world really hate me that much? A hundred bits says it's raining outside. I watched as Ember sat in the middle of the room, the sad melody coming forth. Around her is a sphere, crackling with energy. Is she bound, or is she the cause? I don't know, but if the song is any indication, she's downright miserable.

'Just like I thought, and I'm the cause.'

'Shut up guilt, I have no need for you.'

There are very few things in this world that I fear, spiders being one, losing those I care about is another. And Ember, with the might to best the spirit of the moon, and her absolute hatred of me, is the third. At a time like this, I remembered words of great courage, spoken when entering certain peril. I took a deep breath, mustered my will, and spoke as I approached. "Pizza's here!" Then I winced, hoping she hadn't heard me.

Her eyes shot open, 'Blast!', pitch black whites, purple irises and a dot of red for the pupil. She glared at me, and her gaze itself spoke death. Her multi-toned voice, a mix of both high and low, came forth from her open mouth, spilling licks of flame as she spoke. "Who are you?"

"Someone who needs to talk to you." I don't want to tell her my name just yet.

"Your name, infidel." Infidel, really?

"Why, or are you one of those people who need to know the names of the ones they kill? Beyond that, my name would have no meaning to you."

"This wretched chamber imprisons us at this moment right now, and names hold power."

"Then, Ember, my name is Griffin. And, who is 'us'?" Multiple personality maybe? The dog said she had been talking to herself.

Suddenly her body was wracked with spasms. "Griffin, is that you?" She asked, her voice now back to it's original tone from the gala, and the red in her eyes growing larger.

"Yes. I am the one you swore to hunt to the ends of the earth to seek vengeance. So, I have come before you of my own will in hopes of settling this, peacefully if at all possible, although unlikely."

She stood tall, the violin she had with her before disappearing in a swirl of pure darkness. "Do you know why?"

'Now, this is the time. Get her talking, figure out her motive, make her think clearly.'

"I do not. Care to tell me?" I know why, but I want HER to say it so I can question her motives and get out of this.

"Because you disgraced my father."

"I think you missed the part when he was trying to EAT ME!"

"No, his death was just, he even fortold it days before, but you acted as if he was part of a game rather than a person to be respected even in death."

"Well I'm SOOOOOOORRY. I just got thrown into a wasteland, wake up completely lost, get tossed around like a bean bag, and then almost eaten. Forgive me if I was lacking in the sanity department! I.......... went back afterwards....." I moved to the side, showing her my blade.

"And fought a group of diamond dogs that my brother had been chased by for over three weeks, yes, I know. But rather than respect his body, you proceeded to mutilate the corpse. Are you truly that depraved?"

"Depraved? His flesh is my own, his blood flows in my veins. His teeth, scales, claws and bones are part of my very being. As for the soul.... he was DEAD. Would you rather the body turn to dust, or at least have some use made of it? It seems we have different meanings for 'respect for the dead'."

"YOU ACTED AS IF HE WERE YOU BLOODY TOOL. NO RESPECTS, NO GRAVE, NO REMORSE OF ANY KIND. I HAD TO DRAG HIS HEAD AND BURY IT, ALONE, AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN SAY A PRAYER OVER HIM!!"

"How the fuck do you expect me to bury someone that size! As for prayer, I've never been all that religious. You needing to bury him alone is hardly my fault. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE HAD A DAUGHTER?!"

Ember lunged at me, and I jumped backwards, even though she was on the other side of the barrier. As she struck it, her body was blasted with lightning bolts from every direction, the sphere literally creating a stormcloud inside of itself. She shrieked in agony and was thrown into the middle of the sphere. Ritz walked in, her head held low, "Gemina, stop." Ember snarled, but proceeded to sit down in the middle of the sphere, her eyes once again that of a demon.

As she sat there, I slowly drew my sword. I take a bipedal stance, using my wings for balance and bring the handle up above my head. I lay the flat of the sword across my arm so it's pointed at the ground at an angle, the way Dusty Trails showed me. As I slowly approached the barrier and Ember shifted, ready to lash out the moment I take a step inside. Ritz looked at me with worry. We were both silent for a while, but seeing that I'm not about to act, she finally speaks up.

"When she first entered the chamber she started muttering spells, and she didn't stop for over two hours. By the time she finished the first hour she had started to bleed from her eyes and mouth. The last words she spoke to me before she became like this were, 'Find Griffin, he's our best chance'. She needs you to work with her, stop being defensive."

"So, what the hell do you want me to do about it? She can't kill me if she's stuck in there, much less hurt anything else. I'm no psychologist, so the only way I could do anything is to go in there. I'm not about to let her rip me to shreds just so she can feel better."

"She can free herself. Right now there are multiple people in her mind, and Ember is the only thing that keeps them from breaking through. You see this Volcano? This is a trifle compared to what she can become. I need you to actually work with her anger. That's her one crippling factor. Please Griffin."

"So..... wait...... you want me to DELIBERATELY piss her off? What would that accomplish? Letting the nutjobs in her head take control so they can kill me? If anything, she needs to calm the fuck down."

"The only way she'll be able to let go of her anger is to work through it. Then, hopefully, she'll come back to normal."

"So...... I'm basically letting her use me as a punching bag so she can let out her frustrations, that way they don't build and she uses the whole WORLD as a punching bag? That's the worst fucking plan I ever heard of. Mostly because it involves me being shipped back to my future wife in a soup can, already cooked. What's to stop me from... let's say... just killing her?"

"No, you must try and to her, for she has a part yet to play in the battle to come, but if she breaks free then yes, we will have to kill her, as the benefits would outweigh the loss. I doubt the possibility of it however, so we must pray for the best." What is she, some kind of mystic fortune teller? Well, she did know I was coming..... aw crap.....

"Yeah, you underestimate me. Ever hear of hellfire? Nasty stuff. That shit can burn fire itself. Well, since I don't think I can attack her from out here, either way I'm gonna have to go in there. Whether I kill her or she calms the fuck down is up to her."

"I'm coming too, if only to give you time to cast your spells. When she went berserk, she almost left a mirage, so any time is great."

"Your funeral." I drew several vials of blood and drank them, along with a mana potion. "Protego. Accelero." The spells will last so long as I don't take damage, and as long as I move around at normal speed, only fading when they're used. With that, I stepped towards the barrier. It stings slightly as I touch it, and once I'm almost through it pushes me the last bit, making me stumble slightly.

Ember looked at me, her face becoming a huge grin. "Is the emo finally coming to talk with me?"

"Ember, one, I'm not an emo. That's the stupidest fucking trend besides Twi-hards. Two, I'm gonna kick your ass and put you on time out till you get over your tantrum." Suddenly the room went pitch black for a second, and the words that Ember spoke became deep and guttural.

"But it is not Ember who is in control here pitiful creature, but me." And as swiftly as the lights vanished they reignite, casting light upon the room once again.

With an unseemly speed, the flat of my blade collided with her head as she sat, flinging her into the barrier. She shrieked with pain as she bounced off it and the energy arced through her. She stood up, swaying slightly, then leaned back and laughed maniacally. Ritz, standing next to me, muttered darkly, "Fuck, its Gemina."

"Oh, the evil laugh competition? I like that game!" I dove at her, matching her laugh as I tackled her into the barrier, pushing her up against it. The energy arced through her, causing a great deal of pain, while I get a mild stinging from being in contact.

'The barrier seems to be doing the most damage. My protect spell is starting to wear off, and it hurts even with it on full. If I keep it and speed up, I should be able to cause enough pain to make her black out. Hopefully she'll come to her senses when she comes around.'

She continued laughing, offering no resistance, while Ritz shrieked at me, "No Griffin, get the buck out of there!"

"You like your barrier so much, how about you give it a kiss!" I spun her around and smashed her face into the lightning wall, but she still just kept laughing. 'Come on! How much of this can she take?'

Without even noticing, I found myself flying across the room. My protect spell dropped as I slammed into the opposite barrier, ten feet away, and begin screaming with the pain of electrocution before falling to the ground.

"What.... dafuq?"

I got to my feet and looked around. "Where the hell is she?" I notice that she's exactly where I left her, holding a large feathered wing in her hand, licking blood off her claw.

"Mmm.... tastes like chicken...." She said dreamily as she friggin ATE it, plumes and all. It took a while for it to sink in, but eventually, it did. I turned and looked at my left side, only to notice something very personal that should be there wasn't, and blood was spurting from a fresh stump. The pain set in, and was almost unbearable, and my mind just about broke as I screamed in agony. Ritz rushed forward, giving a bloodcurdling cry as she swung a hoof, but Ember merely shoved her claw into the limb and literally exploded it, sending Ritz flying out of the barrier sphere, unconscious.

"Heh.... heh.... hehe.... heh......... my wing......... I can't fly anymore......... You...... bitch..........you..... fuck it...... time to die now!...... Infernus........" Hades became engulfed in the black flames of death, my adrenaline rush and severed nerves preventing me from feeling the intense pain, only the sensation of a slick wetness running down my side and legs making itself known.

"Really, just fire?" Ember asked, eyes wide in surprise. I dove forward, not using my wings as the strike would be off balance, and stabbed with my blade at the psychotic dragon, only for her to vanish and me to strike the barrier. I don't feel the electric shock as I should. Instead, the flames spread throughout the magic shield, consuming it's magic to fuel the fire. Almost all the light is drained from our little arena as the hellfire surrounded us in a black ball of death. Touching the edge won't be painful anymore, because we'd be dead before we felt the anguish.

"Now thats a nice trick." Ember said in awe as the flames surrounded us. "Could you teach me it? Oh, wait, your going to die soon." Tears of blood began to trickle down her face. "I don't want you to die."

"Then stop trying to kill me you crazy bitch!" I propped myself up with my sword and drank another vial to recharge it. "By the way, this is hellfire. We're basically in Tartarus right now. The flames eat magic. Touch it, and you're dead. It'll keep feeding off your mana reserves and only become more intense as it does. If you're so dead set on killing me, I'll make damn sure you touch this fire with at least your pinkie finger so it catches, and then I'll kick your ass when we both go to HADES!"

I finished my speech, only to feel intense pain in my right arm as a stream of blood came pouring out. She had stuck her claw into my shoulder, then opened it, ripping apart the ball and socket joint. 'Damn, so fast, didn't even see....she..... artery. Only gonna be conscious for a little while more.... gotta get.... one hit..... Gotta at least...... damn.... it.......' I slumped to the ground from the lack of blood.'

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No. Not here! Not here!" I felt a drop of blood fall on my face, and another into my mouth as she stood over me, with me on my back, still crying blood. My strength momentarily returns and with it, I grab Hades in my left claw and swing, only for the impossible to happen. She grabs the blade in her claw, squeezes it, and it snaps, cracks running through the remainder of it and a jagged edge where the second half of it used to be. I stared in wide eyed horror at the second half of my blade, lodged in the stone floor of the cavern. Ember stepped onto my chest and pushed down, bringing several, audible cracks as she shattered my ribs, then suddenly, she stopped.

"Well well, that's a pretty little trinket." She said as she spotted my amulet...... MY AMULET! Human and Equestrian forms don't share damage! I can swap out, then cast a spell with what's left of my sword to get out of this death trap! As she slowly pulled it off, admiring the gem almost lovingly, drooling at the thought of it, I used the breath I'd been holding to prevent my lungs from collapsing under her crushing weight to say those two little magic words that were going to get me out of this mess. "Forma...... versus......"

The weight, the pain, it all disappears. I felt my body returning to my loathed human form, losing mass and size. My exhaustion, both from exertion, blood loss, and magic use faded, bringing my thoughts to clarity again. I slipped out of my heavy armor and looked at the scene before me. "What. The. Actual. Fuck?"

Standing before me was a girl, white, with midnight blue hair and black punk clothes on, carrying a longsword. Beside her stood death itself. A tall reptilian skeleton, it empty eyes alight with real fire, black as night with a few wisps of purple within. It looks like a dragon, but with all the meat and stuff removed, so it's just skin and scales over a skeleton. It looked straight at me and said, in the same horrid voice that resonated from it earlier, "Thank you for freeing me of that worthless vessel. For that you shall be rewarded with a quick, painless death." It shrieked, the sound could only be described as that of children watching their parents being murdered, and knowing they're next.

"Fuck that noise!" I grabbed the remainder of Hades, still a little magic present, and tackled the girl. "Protego!" I threw the two of us through the barrier, covering her with my body to protect her from the blaze, screaming as it caught me alight, yet allowed passage. "Oh shit! Ow ow ow ow Extinguo!" I put myself out then dropped to the floor and promptly vomited, feeling like I had been touched by death itself. Most likely because I had.

The girl from earlier, who I had totally forgotten to process the part about her being human, looked straight at me and muttered in my ear, "Griffin?"

"Ha......... I'm to young, classy, and smart to get killed by some overgrown bone lizard." I gasped as I laid on the ground.

Her whisper became more urgent. "Are you Griffin?"

"Heh..... yep........ Hellfire is hot..... ow."

"And magic is beautiful, delens lassitudine." My exhaustion left me as she spoke those words, allowing me to sit up.

"Welp...... tall dark and ugly is stuck in there. Those flames will keep burning as long as there's magic, and since that barrier is fueled by it's reserves, it's pretty much a permanent prison."

Ember slowly got to her feet, "*cough* but it won't stop it once it recovers." She muttered, looking around the hall.

"By the way, who ARE you?"

She stopped next to the woman and turned to me, her face a picture of exasperation. "Give a guess. Only three people were in this room a moment before."

"Let's see, Me, Ritz, and Ember, and now there's me, that thing, you, and her. There were three, now there's four. Again, what the fuck?"

"And I said sister." the black haired girl points at the woman on the ground and asks, "Think, who has a mane that looks like that?

"Okay.... hold on...... Me, Griffin now human, you, Ember now human, her, Ritz now human, that thing trapped by my flames........ what is it?"

Ember looks at Griffin sadly and states, monotonously, "My sister."

"Right, your sister.... okay............ um...... you know what? I don't wanna know. I just want my wing back so I can get on board my ship and they can try to reattach it, but seeing as how that thing ATE it, that's not going to happen, I'm out of here."

"I'm sorry, but it's too late for that. You decided to literally unleash the other half of me, so we have to stop it."

"We? What 'we'? There is no 'we' there's you, and there's her. In case you haven't noticed, I didn't do so well before, and now all I have to rely on are my fists against a DRAGON made entirely of scale and bone. I hate to disappoint you, but I'd only get in the way here. Nope, I've had enough today. Me being here won't change anything, and I've already got one body at near death, I don't feel like getting another." I put my hand over my amulet. I was still wearing it since she had let go when we both changed. "Screw you guys, I'm going home. If you die, I'll have my crew 'deal' with your sister."

I turned around and began walking out of the cave. 'Nope, I'm done. I'm done with this. Not putting up with any more apocalypse situations. From now on it's just going to be me, killing diamond dogs slavers, and not getting hurt anymore.' That's when I heard something being said in Latin, followed by a shout and a roar. When I turned around, I saw that the barrier was down and the fiend was charging straight at me.

"NOOOO GEMINA!"

"What the fuck did you doooooooo!" I shouted as I collided with the eight hundred pound line backer, tossing me clear to the side of the cave where I bumped my head against the wall. The world suddenly went wibbly wobbly. 'I..... concussion.... shit.... Breathing raspy, broken ribs, cough.'

"GEMINA, STOP!"

My swirling vision picked up bits and pieces of what was going on, Ember running towards 'Gemina' with a sword in her hands, swinging the blade as the monster's claws came forth and sank into my eye sockets, ripping the precious orbs from their hold.

I screamed. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed, blood seeping from the now empty holes in my head, the searing pain of my optic nerves being shredded and exposed to the dry air. I could feel my blood running down my face, and could hear shouting, but couldn't make any sense of it. I continued screaming, holding my face in agony, until finally, mercifully, I blacked out from the pain.

'Why is this happening to me?'

Aftermath (85)

Aftermath

I woke up feeling intense anguish, my body not sure what to make of itself. Everything was, muddled, confused. I decided to try taking stock of myself, and go from there. 'Okay, everything hurts...... which includes what? Arms.... legs...... wings.... okay, wings, which means I'm a griffin again....... where am I? Am I dead? I didn't think you could feel pain when you're dead.... Other than that, bed, silk sheets, pillow.... cool, but stale air, I'm on the ship.'

"Hey... .Hur.... he's wakin......" That voice... Gilda.

"Ugh..... wha? Ow....." I was struggling to open my eyes, and failing that, I simply let myself lay there.

"Vell vell captain. It seems you've gotten yourzelf in qvite zee predicament." I heard Cable's voice.

"Ya. Fifteen hours of surgery, five on your human self, and ten on ze griffin body, you are qvite lucky to have zat other form, else you would have been dead in mere minutes." Geirmund is here too.

"My... wing?"

"I'm sorry, it's gone." Furnace.

'No..... no! It's not fair..... flying is.... I'll never be able to fly again. My wing..... it's a PART of me, and.... it's just gone... that fast.......' I finally took the time to process that Ember had, in fact, ripped it off, then ate it.

"That bitch! I'll kill her! I'll fucking kill her!"

"Speaking of her..... when we found out who she was, what she did..... we were ready to kill her.... She had to fight us off and explain what happened, and then she said she wanted to be here when you woke up, but I outright refused. There's no way in hell we'd let her anywhere near you after what happened.... she then...... just kinda..... left....." Gilda explained.

"Ah, that she did, but not before she left ya somethin..." Steelhorn mentioned when he entered the room and slumped down hard in a chair, tossing a scroll to me.

"A letter?"

I must apologize for your wounds. I know that a letter isn't enough, and I know you've never realized why I despised you. I hope you'll come to realize it one day. I must warn you though, that while I fought them back inside, that you just realeased an evil far older than you could imagine, hell, older than what the princessess could imagine. I will admit, taking your powers of flight was unforgivable, and while I would like to make amends, I likely will never get the chance too. I took the lives of both the innocent and guilty at Masonry, and the only thing that stopped me from taking more was you. That scale, it's one of mine. It's harder than your old sword ever was, and it may one day be useful for you. I pray that, if our paths ever do meet again, that I can make amends.

Ember.

"She left that and a scale, said ta give it to ya, but a don't know why." The minotaur slumped in a chair heavily, then let out a sigh. "Trouble seems ta follow yoo like flies at a picnic cap'n."

"She think's I'll just leave it at that? She went to Masonry because she somehow KNEW I'd be there, probably that Ritz that was with her, since she's some kind of psychic. She went there knowing that's where I'd go, and waited for me. Give me some damn parchment."

Let's get one thing straight. I hate you. I won't look for you, I won't keep track of you, and I won't try to get revenge. If by chance we cross paths, I expect you to turn around and walk away, because if you ever seek me out, head me off like this time, or say a single word to me in greeting if we meet by chance, the only thing I'll do is cover you in black flame, something I should have done in the first place and spared myself all this trouble. And you're right, you can NEVER make amends for what you did, and I hope you feel the sting of guilt for as long as you live, and even after.
Griffin

"Submito ad Ember. Fuck you."

With the letter sent, my eyes drifted to the broken remains of Hades, both handle and blade, as well as my battered, but no worse for wear, armor sitting up against the wall. 'Damn it. Now I need to get Hades fixed. I wish Aoi had stuck around........ except I still don't have enough to pay him, and given my condition, I don't think I'll be able to get it for quite some time.... and what the fuck does she expect me to do with that scale?'

Suddenly a flash of fire engulfed the wall of my cabin. I practically leaped out of bed, reaching for the hilt of my blade only to remember it's destruction, and that I couldn't possibly reach it from my bed. As quickly as the flames appeared they vanished, a new scroll sitting on my lap. 'Damn it, I'm jumping at every little thing now.....'

I may have committed a wrong, but do not test the temper of one who can destroy you. Ritz is a Earth pony, unable to perform much magic. You aided me. Do not make me forget that. I swallowed hard, then told them to burn the letter. I don't want to even think about her anymore. I.... just want to put this all behind me...

"My wing.... that letter..... the tone.... SHE'S NOT SORRY AT ALL! That bitch is just saying it half ass! It's like you kill someone's pet and say 'Well, I'm sorry you loved it, but it's your fault for getting attached.' I know you don't realize why I despised you? Because I killed her dad right?........." Wait...... hold on, just a second, just a damn second.......

"Her DAD?!?!? She's a human! When I killed him she hadn't known him for more than a month! It was just an excuse for beating the tar out of me! She said sorry, I said apology not accepted, so she turns around and threatens me! I have every right to be angry! If I ever see her again....... I'm not even going to give her the chance to walk away...."

"Grif......."

"I'm gonna stab her in the back and light her up, then look into her eyes as she dies and SMILE! HAHAHA! I don't care if I do it in Celestia's throne room! I was unprepared, and I tried to help her, and look what happened to me? This is the thanks I get! I should never have listened to Ritz. I'm not being a nice guy anymore! It gets me nowhere! I'll kill her and eat her, and well see how fucking much SHE likes it! Oh, but that's not all. No, I'll wait till she thinks I'm over it, till she starts to trust me, then it'll be even sweeter when I betray her and gut her like the swine she is! She wants a war, I'll fucking GIVE HER A WAR!"

Suddenly, I felt a slap across my face, and Gilda looking at me with tears in her eyes. I realized then just how crazy I was acting, and how much I must have been worrying her. One of the generic medical ponies we brought on board stuck me with a needle, and suddenly, I felt VERY depressed.

"This.... this isn't the Griffin I know...." Gilda said as she walked out. That.... hurt..... wait... no, don't leave... please... I......

"He's been through quite an ordeal. He's going to be working through some psychological problems. I think right now it's best to just give him his space so he can work through it." No! Stupid nurse! I don't wanna be alone! I need a hug!

It was too late. They all left the medical bay. My wing got ripped off and they pumped me full of something that makes me want to cry, and now they left me all alone.... I.... I don't want to be.... alone.... I began hyperventilating, but the drugs were forcing me to stay calm and not lose it.

"No. That would be letting them win..... I'm not going to let them win. I will not fall back into the pit of despair that claimed me before. I need to be better, stronger, so mountains will crumble with my footsteps, and even the gods themselves will quake when they hear my name. Do not test the temper of one who can destroy you? Conceited bitch should listen to her own advice...... the only reason she's alive right now is because I decided not to kill her, and only tried to after my speed and protect spells wore off, she ripped my wing off and I didn't stand a chance anymore.... I could have walked in there, and while she was still sitting, torched her with the fires of death on the first blow instead of smacking her around..... She has pushed my temper, and when next we meet, she'll feel my fury first hand."

The next day, the rest of my crew was hesitant to visit me, fearing I'd have another breakdown. I was alright, if only still depressed about losing my wing. I mean, it's my wing. It's a part of me, and it's gone. I'll never get it back. Eventually, they made their way down to the medical bay for a visit. Time to start this off properly.

"Listen.... everyone..... I'm sorry about my whole lashing out thing yesterday......"

"It's alright..... you were under a lot of stress, and then after what happened......."

"No, it's not alright. I shouldn't have acted that way in front of you.... I...." Gilda took me into a very gentle hug, which was joined by Nadene, and a pat on the head from Growl.

"You guys.... please.... never leave me alone..... yesterday, when you left, I...... probably partly due to the drugs, but still, I.... I was afraid you wouldn't be coming back........ I..... the truth is... I'm...."

"It's alright, you don't have to say it." The cat reassured me.

"But I do..... the fact is.... I'm scared. I almost died out there. For a long time, I've been ready to die, just putting it off, but okay with it. But, when I look around at you all, I have something I never had before, and..... I'm not ready to die anymore, because that would mean being all alone again, and leaving all of you without me. I'm scared of losing all of you. Most of all, Gilda........ I'm sorry..... for everything.....I..." She put a claw to my beak, telling me to hush.

"The important thing is you came back alive. Nothing else matters..."

"Even that I'll never fly again?"

"Oh, bah. Qvit being such un drama qveen, I'll have a new wing fixed up in un jiffy, und you'll be right back out zhere." Geirmund chided.

"Well, looks like we're both all chewed up now Grif..." Trixie added, getting out of her hospital bed and waving her hoof in my face. "I'm free to walk around, but not fit for duty just yet. Given that your ribs were turned into powder I think you'll be here for a bit longer though....."

"Ah, yes, I had to remove ze bone fragments, und zen had Steelhorn forge a new set of ribs und place zem instead, but ze surgery vas invasive, und you'll be in zat bed for ze next month vhile your muscles are reattached and recover zhere strength. Ze shoulder vas salvageable, und vill take two weeks to heal."

"What about my other body?"

"Your ribs were only cracked, so they were set and repaired by the healing spell, but, your eyes...." Nadene looked at me with great sorrow. "They're gone, and we can't replace them. If you ever decide to turn human again, you'll be blind while you are. We cauterized the inside of your eye sockets, so no air can get in there, and the open nerves won't cause any pain."

"What happened.... I mean, when you found me?"

"Can everyone leave us alone for a bit?" Gilda asked. Everyone else nodded and left the room.

"Well..... after you flew down to confront her, that pony Ritz started talking in my head. Damn psychics.... She told me you were in trouble, so the whole crew came down to bail you out. We saw the human with the sword fighting the bone dragon, and then you, laying on the ground. When I saw you, all broken, I...... I was so afraid you'd die....... She wound up beating that thing with our help, and then she changed herself back with your amulet and sort of.... fused with the thing she was fighting. Then we brought you on board and the started working on you. When we realized who she was, I was damn near ready to rip her head off, but I wanted to know what happened first. After hearing the story...... getting you looked after was the most important thing, and I wasn't really sure what you wanted us to do with her, so, we let her go."

With her explanation filling in the blanks, I slumped down in bed and sighed, looking over at my bandaged stump again.

"I was an idiot, again. I got hurt, again, and now I'm in the hospital, again. Why do you put up with me? I was really close to dying this time. What if next time....... if I died, you'd be miserable, and I wouldn't even be around to comfort you. That's the worst part of it all. If I die, I'm gone, but then I'm leaving you here..... We both know what it's like to be alone. I never want to go back to that, and I don't want to put you through that either......."

"Then get better. I'll handle the crew for now, you just focus on getting healed up. Then, you'll figure out a way to come back stronger than ever. After all, you've got a whole month to think about it."

"A friggin month.... I'm going to go stir crazy......"

"Too bad too......" She put on a troll face. "I was wondering why I was so... insatiable lately, so I did some reading. Turns out with some griffins, their estrus cycle is triggered by having an of age male around. Well.... once you showed up and we had fun for a bit, guess who's fertile for the next month?"

"You've got to be kidding me.... I should have guessed with the way you've been acting lately.... It's almost a good thing I'm in a cast, or we could have a major problem on our hands..... Still... how are you gonna..... 'manage'....."

"Oh.... I'm sure Trixie or Nadene would be willing to help...."

"Wait.... they're that way? Really?"

"Actually, they're both. You forget that given the gender ratio's here, most are rather..... flexible, in their preferences. Remember, I told you where I worked before, and all my clients were mares, that's gotta tell you something....."

'More than I ever wanted to know about My Little Pony....... It sounds like a bad excuse for shipping in a lousy fanfic.......'

"Still.... don't worry me like that again. I love you, and, I don't know what I'd do without you. You can't lay next to a book, tell it your troubles, and have it hold you while you sleep."

"That geek Twilight would disagree but, you reminded me of something." I reached over to the table, but following a pain in my chest, I decided it would be better if I lay still. "Actually, think you can get it? I'm a little.... tied up." I motioned to the literal net of bandages wrapped around me.

"Yeah... but, why?"

"For the next month, I'm giving you command of the crew. I want you to do a good job, and, the best way to do that is to give you everything I know."

"Grif....... you said it's not just your knowledge in there, but all your deepest, hidden thoughts. You're basically telling me to read your diary. Are you okay with that?"

"Gilda, if I can't trust you with my mind, how can I trust you with my physical health, or the crew for that matter? I love you, and I know I can trust you with this." A single tear of joy came to her eye, which she tried to hide and wipe away. I pretended I didn't see to spare her the embarrassment.

"Aye aye, captain."

"By the way... where's Etch been? I haven't seen him in a good four days."

"Oh..... well, there's actually a bit of good news. After we cleaned up the ones we rescued from that ship.... he recognized a pair of dogs....."

"You mean, he found his family?"

"They were tied up on that slave ship with the ponies, but, yeah. We found them, his wife and son, both safe and sound. They've been catching up."

"Well...... at least some good came of this. I'm still gonna murder Ember next time I see her." I turned to look at my stump again, then let out a sigh. "She's too dangerous, too powerful, most of all, too unstable, and she's made me her enemy. The fact that even though the ceremony was a farce, I'm still a 'Knight of Equestria', I should be able to just up and kill her with no legal repercussions. Given her history of assaulting Princess Luna, destroying royal property, opening the freaking black vault, I don't think anyone would raise questions if I decided to kill her. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Trying to talk my enemies down has only gotten me hurt. Next time we go to Canterlot, I want you to get a copy of every newspaper from the past year, since Discord's escape, from their archives. So far, all the humans we've run into, except Echo, have been violent and had severe mental issues, myself included. I want to see if I can find a pattern in the events, and maybe set up a timeline. If there's any more out there like her.... I want to be ready."

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Griffin is WAY pissed. He's not going to look for Ember, but she's definitely on his hit list, and he's going to be on the lookout for the other humans now, since he's sick and tired of them treating him like dirt. Also, the next couple of chapters aren't going to have any Griffin in them. It's going to be Gilda taking over and her reaction to reading his journal entries.

Captain Gilda (86)

Captain Gilda

=Gilda=

Entry One,

Since I was able to buy a blank book, I decided to keep a log of things. Thoughts, discoveries, plans and stuff. Since I'm starting a little late, I guess I'll make this first entry about what's happened up till now.

Well, I 'appeared' out in some desert, but not the sandy kind, the 'land is so dry it's cracked' kind. Wild west type. I was found by Gilda, and the first thing I thought when I saw her was 'Crap. Now I have to deal with this bitch.....' She's harsh, sarcastic, angsty, and just like me. She's also mopey, probably about the whole Rainbow Dash thing. I don't like people in general, and let's face it, I'm a jerk. I don't want to put up with another me. Better just get my bearings and head to Ponyville.

Entry Two

Turns out I was wrong about about Gilda, she CAN be civil if she tries. I don't know why she stuck around, or helped me in the first place, especially after me, being the idiot I am, jumped off a freaking cliff. She pretty much had to baby me for a week, something I wasn't too happy about. At least I've eaten something. I need to go back to where she 'found' me and look for clues. Maybe something useful came with when that guy booted me here, whoever he was anyways.

Entry Three

I. Am. Insane. I dove down the throat of a dragon and killed it. I ripped off a scale, cut off it's arm, and made a sword out of it. I ate the meat off the arm..... what the hell is wrong with me? What I just did..... is NOT normal. I had to go find some Aloe for Gilda's minor burns, and she started questioning my 'Amnesia' story. I should have known, that NEVER works. I'm eventually going to have to tell her, before I get to involved. If she leaves because i'm 'crazy' before I get too attached, that'll save a lot of heartache......

Entry Four

Well, I told her what I am, and she didn't freak out. Probably thinks I'm crazy, just like I said. Saved some ponies from diamond dog slavers. Turns out the problem is a lot more widespread than just the Rarity problem. That, and this world has just as many problems as back home. Difference is, it's actually possible for one person to change this world. The only way to get something done on earth is make a petition, get a million signatures, harass a politician, wait a year for them to get back to you, then another while they debate it in a committee, before finally deciding it's too expensive and shutting you down. Here, I can just kill whoever the problem is.

Entry Five

All caught up to the present now. Manehatten. Sold some gems we looted to a crooked jewelry salesman....sales pony? Whatever. Made quite a bit of bits, and got a bit of a handle on how this world works. You can find scum and villainy wherever you look, you just need to LOOK. I'm pretty good at flying now. It's unbelievable, and the view is fantastic. Also, for some reason, I noticed my eyes keep getting drawn to Gilda's backside. Problems with this: First, I'm a loser. Gilda isn't into 'uncool' people. Two, she's a bitch. Yeah, she's got a bad history, but she's still a bitch..... then again, so am I. I don't think that much anger would work out too well together. Three, when we reach Ponyville, I may very well decide to stay there, and that would be it. There's no way a dorky virgin like me is EVER getting laid, especially not by her. Might as well put it out of my mind.

Entry Six

Damn Ponyville.... I wish I never came here...... I guess I was pretty cruel, but, they deserved it, didn't they? After what they did........ When Pinkie Pie laughed at me, all I could think of was everyone who laughed at my misfortune. When Dash mocked me, is was just like before. When she hit me, it was just like before. When she jumped me and made me feel ashamed of being who I was, it was just like before. Everyone in town, the way they looked at me, telling me to get out and never come back, all with their eyes. They have no idea who I am, and they already hate me. It was supposed to be different. Equestria was supposed to be DIFFERENT! I saw everything that was wrong with my world, everything I hated and tried to escape from, in two ponies, bearers of the Elements of Harmony no less! These were my idols, and they completely ruined it. I can't believe I looked up to them. Pinkie Pie was just an accident, she had no idea ho it'd make me feel. She was oblivious to other people's feelings, as usual. Gilda, Cranky Doodle Donkey, and now I'm just one more on the list of people she's inadvertently made miserable. Rainbow Dash HAS no excuse. She deliberately made me feel like shit. Hell, GILDA is nicer than she is, and she's a bitch...... Long story short, I think I died a little inside today.

Entry Seven

Busted Trixie out of prison. I'm not sure why Gilda decided to do it, but I gave her the decision, and I'm not going to go over her head on it. Well, if things don't work out, we can always eat her, so that's a plus.

Entry Eight

Saved Prince Blueblood from diamond dog slavers, turns out we were right above one of their outposts for a larger den. Killed all the fighters, demanded the slaves and every other useful thing from them. Two of the slaves were dogs themselves. I decided to keep them around. Having your enemy's eyes is always a good thing. I don't think Gilda or Trixie was too happy about it though, but even they can see past their hate to how useful they'll be. Funny, we're less prejudice than ponies are, and they're supposed to be with the whole 'friendship and harmony' deal. I guess that only extends to other ponies. Anyone else can go rot.

Entry Nine

It's been a while since I wrote. Found out there's another human in this universe. Echo the Diamond Dog, Etch and Growl say he's an 'Alpha Breed'. He's strong, fast, and smart, but not too skilled in terms of weaponry, although he can light his claws on fire for elemental damage. I burn pretty easy, so it's not very much fun. He fights at medium speed and isn't very acrobatic, meaning I could easily keep up with protecting myself. I just have to remember not to let down my guard. Also, if I didn't have a bounty before, I definitely have one now. Beating the tar out of a city official will do that. My opinions on Gilda are....... indifferent. At this point, I'm pretty sure she likes me, by the way she looks at me, and the things she says, but is between that and finding me infuriatingly annoying. I'm not sure how I feel about her, but I certainly don't dislike her. She's still a bitch, but she's stayed by me all this time, and I think she's started growing on me.

Entry Ten

Met the Vren tribe today, (Bipedal cats, like Khajiit, but more adorable) by means of one of them sneaking into our tree house and putting a dagger to my throat. Turns out we've got some posers pretending to be use. Well, we can't have anyone making use of our bad reputation, so we're going to have to straighten things out. Might make the local tribe an ally, or at least get Nadene as a healer, which we seriously need. Since they're cat like, they're VERY acrobatic, fast, stealthy, and skilled. Rogue types, perfect assassins and thieves, just like their fictional counterparts. Also kinda cute, and pretty attractive. (Side note, too busy itching lately to write, molting sucks. I ripped out all my feathers and spent the time unable to fly. Don't do it again. I need to fly to be able to fight.)

'Hmph..... so he thought I was a bitch, and turned out he was right, and even if he stuck with me only because he had nowhere else to go..... he stayed. Funny how things worked out....... And to think, when I found him, I almost left him there. I already know all of this.... what else is there?'

Entry Eleven

After dealing with the imposters and getting Nadene to come with us, we began raiding temples. A bunch were empty, but one that was guarded by what else but spiders, had a large number of valuables inside, including a magic amulet that can turn me human. I don't see much use for this on myself, but I think it will be quite useful against trickster enemies as it dispels all falsehoods. It uses Latin, so, I have a whole bunch of different options here based on what I know. Ignis is fire and lightning, Aqua is water, Umbra is shadow, Lumen is light, Ventus is wind, Tempesta is, as far as I can tell, turbulence, Terra for earth, and Tremor for vibration as elemental spells. Lacero for cut, Accelero for speed, and Obscuro for invisibility as buffs, Medico for heal and Protego for protect as defense, Umbra for muffle and Furia for berserk as debuffs, and Volare or Vola for fly, which I haven't tested yet as I can already do that. Maybe making other objects levitate? I know that each spell is going to have multiple uses, just figuring out all their applications is going to be a lot of work, and will take a lot of time in a test area, more time than I have.....

'I haven't really focused on learning magic myself...... it's what made him nearly unstoppable. If I want to be on the same level, I'm going to have to work on this myself. I'll use his research notes, but if he's going to make me the leader, I should act like it and start taking charge, figuring things out for myself. Hmm..... Should I focus on elemental spells, boosts, debilitating enemies, or a defensive role?.......... I need time to think, and I can do that while we're underway. Let's get a course first.'

I walked onto the bridge where Steelhorn was sitting in the captain's chair, Cable was at the PA switchboard, and the two dogs were looking at an integrated table map of everywhere we'd been so far.

"So.... what'd he say?"

"...... Well, he made me captain while he's on the mend. What targets to we have?"

"Clay Pallor to the north, Marble Pillars to the west, and...... the Stony Fields to the east. They're all smaller dens, except the fields which is actually the site of a battle. It's contested, with no less than three different dens fighting over it at all times. It would be easy to do some raids, as their attention will be focused elsewhere." Growl explained, laying out a map.

"Hmm.... either of those smaller targets could be good places to start while I figure out what I'm doing, and the battlefield will be a high risk, high reward kind of deal. Might be able to make some allies by influencing the battle to go a certain way. We're definitely going to want to go there at some point...."

"We could always hit the one in the west, then sweep to the north, and finally east." Steelhorn added.

"Sounds good to me. Um..... set sail?"

"Aye!"

I was originally going to make Gilda's development into an interactive bit where you get to decide what she learns and where she goes...... then I decided..... Nah.

Science! (87)

Science!

=Still Gilda=

"Let's see what else he has written on magic....."

Entry Twelve

While soaking Gilda was fun, I think she was a little upset at me about it. It was only a small gem, but it got her pretty soggy. There's a fair bit of water around, but following testing with the dogs, I found that the water spell was more effective when I used it, and the earth spell was better when they did it. It seems that having a natural connection with the element, as well as your knowledge of said elements will improve your ability to use it. Example, knowing how water flows, it's properties, states, and how it reacts with other things should not only make the 'caster' able to use it in different ways, but make all those ways more effective. Basically, knowing the science behind it makes it more effective. Diagrams below....

"What............ I don't even...." I couldn't even make sense of this. I knew some science, like states of water, but this..... It had two circles with number, and circles around them, labeled 'H', connected to a third, larger one, labeled 'O'. I had no idea what that was. It was titled 'water'. Is this what his world's science is like? I don't think I'll be able to figure this out on my own. Since we don't have any teachers on board, I guess I'll just have to ask the one who wrote it.

Entering the medical bay, I saw Griffin laying there, just as broken as before. It was kind of painful to look at. Someone so full of life and vigor, just, laying there. I kept reminding myself that it was only temporary, and that he was just in recovery. Still, even laying in bed, he was furiously scribbling something with his right hand while fiddling with a gem in his left.

"So..... if I.... no, no... how should I.... oh, hey Gilda... what's up?"

"Well.... I was reading your journal... and I saw some stuff that makes no sense to me....."

"Ah..... atomic models..... Not exactly a light concept, but pretty useful."

"Do you think you could teach me?"

"Well, alright. There are various elements in the world, each of which takes different forms in their natural states."

"So, water, which is liquid...."

"Not quite..... Water is a liquid, but it's made up of two gasses that, when combined, increases their density to that of a fluid. There's hydrogen, which is this one here, 'H' it's the smallest and most common, and then there's oxygen, which is the eighth smallest. Hydrogen is flammable, and on contacting oxygen, burns very easily in an exothermic reaction, which turns it into water vapor."

He then explained to me the entirety of what he called 'atomic theory', using water for all the examples, and how they were magnetic, and all sorts of other things. There was something he held back, saying 'I'm pretty sure it's impossible at this point without proper refining methods, but I don't want to give out knowledge that could lead to nuclear warheads, so, it's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of me taking this to my grave.' But he explained how to separate the 'atoms' with electricity, and that it could be done with magic, but only for an instant before it would recombust, and that's what he was trying at this moment.

"The problem I'm having is when I turn water into hydrogen and oxygen gas, there's enough energy there that it ignites immediately and combines again, resulting in an explosion......... I can't split the gasses and keep them apart long enough to do anything with them. It's a near instant low yield explosion, so unless we use it inside someone's body it's useless, and it uses more magic than other spells due to it's complexity... having to use the water spell to split it and wind spell simultaneously to direct it. Good for taking down tough targets, but dragons with their magic resistance.. ugh...... It'd be good on alphas, or those big changelings we fought....."

"Hmm... is there any other way we could use electricity?"

"Well, temporary paralysis maybe, but spell wise, wouldn't it just be easier to grab a cloud? Hmm.... unless we could interrupt the nerve impulses by negating the electrical signals... that would be very useful, because enemies wouldn't be able to block..... even just numbing them, or spastic muscle contractions..... hmm... wait...., it wouldn't need that much..... yeah.... yeah! Okay. Back on earth, there are these electric bug zappers. They look like tennis rackets, but with metal wires, and when an insect touches it, it kills it.... but that's not what a lot of people use them for. They hit each other with them."

"Why?"

"Well.... the electric shock stimulates the muscles in the same way a nerve impulse does, but it's more powerful, and it makes ALL the muscles in the person's arm contract. Normally done when someone is holding a cup of something so they spill it on themselves. The point is, it doesn't even take that much electricity to do it, so if we were to charge our weapons and shields, anything conductive that contacts them will get a nasty shock, stunning them and opening a hole in their defenses. It would work with Gem Blades too, since it's magic electricity and gems conduct that..... I can't exactly test it here, do you think you could try it out in the test chamber?"

"Sure."

"So, what am I here for again?" The only earth pony on board, Dusty Tails? Trails? Something like that, asked me.

"Well, I'm going to cast a spell on this shield, and I want you to hit it with your sword, so we can see what happens."

"That's it?" He looked at me incredulously.

"Well, first we're going to do it without the spell, to see the difference." Grif had also explained proper scientific method to me as well, so I knew first we needed to do a 'control' test, to find out what happens normally.

"Alright, ready when you are."

I took up a defensive stance and nodded that I was ready. Dusty hefted his blade above his head, then brought it down on my shield as I pushed it forwards to intercept the strike. This ended with his attack powering straight through my block and knocking me onto my back.

"You alright?" I shook my head to get the cobwebs out of it.

"Yeah. Alright, now with the spell. Ignis." I felt a tingle in the hunk of steel I was carrying, then held it in front of me to defend. I nodded to show I was ready, and braced myself for the strike. It came, the strong earth pony bringing his steel greatsword down on my shield, and me pushing forward to deflect the strike. When they connected, the pony's front legs which were holding his weapon suddenly kicked up into the air, throwing him off balance, making him face plant. He tried to get up, but his legs were shaky.

"So.... what are you experiencing?"

"Mild pain, numbness, tingles.... it's like my legs fell asleep. It's hard to move them."

"And that, is exactly what I was looking for."

We did a couple more tests, finding out whether the force behind the strike mattered at all, how many hits it would last for, how to change the intensity of the shock, and what kind of materials it would work against, and most importantly, that if the weapon striking the shield was charged as well, nothing would happen. We tested it multiple times till Dusty was so tired from repeated electrocution that he decided to call it quits. I went back to Grif to report my findings, and he was quite happy to have them.

"Alright, so, now that we know it works, and, as I figured, it's best on metals, second best on gems, and poorly on stone and wood. The level of shock depends on how much the user wants to put into it, and if the thing connecting with it is charged as well, it can't discharge, so there's no effect... good...." He then took out a note pad, drew a kite shield on it with a gem behind the handle, and a wire mesh over the face. He also drew a sword with a gem set in the hilt, and finally, Four types of gloves. One for pony hooves, a rubber bit for mouths, one for diamond dog paws, and one for griffin claws so the talons still stuck out.

"Rubber insulates against electricity, so wearing these should prevent the tingling feeling and your arm getting tired, as well as any possible electrocution from it. Take these down to Steelhorn. He'll know what to do with them. Tell him I want them ready by the time we reach our destination. We also need to teach the troops how to use them. You're the captain, how should we do it?" He asked me.

"I tested it with Dusty, so he knows how it works. I'll have him teach everyone."

"Good." He gave me a warm smile, and I nuzzled up against him. Feeling a familiar warmth throughout my body, I dashed out of the room and gave the minotaur the drawings, before rushing to the lavatory to take a cold shower.

'He knows what I'm like, and that I'm not very reserved, but rather than getting jealous or berating me, he just accepts it, all the while he doesn't do anything with anyone else, because he worries I'd be uncomfortable with it...... Would I? I guess I've come to think of him as mine, and mine alone, so, I guess I would be a bit put off he if decided to start sleeping around... yet he doesn't think that way about me... Is it because he doesn't care, or because he trusts me? Uggh, why am I thinking about feelings now? The least I can do is TRY and keep myself under control. I am so hypocritical......'

I spent the next couple days in a bit of a routine. Read journal, do sciencey.... stuff, ask Grif what something was if I didn't understand, and then I'd try to figure out a way to use it, if I couldn't, I'd ask someone else who knew more about it, and then I'd test it with someone, followed by a cold shower. Honestly? Estrus wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Sure, I had some thoughts that I didn't want or need at certain times, and I found myself looking at everyone around me and having to clench my beak shut, but It's not like I was ready to jump anyone....... except Grif. Whenever I was around him, I got that warm fuzzy feeling and acted just a tiny bit drunk. With him still bedridden, we couldn't do anything, but I often found myself just coming down to see him and nuzzling him. Why did I care so much about him? One day he just dropped into my life, and from that day on I didn't want to leave him alone. Something about him. The way he carries himself? His smell? His honeyed words? I don't think I'll ever know. What I do know is I couldn't live with myself if he got hurt again, so I'm going to do the best damn job I can making sure everyone else is up to par. He's carried us on his back this whole way, no longer.....

Negotiation (88)

Negotiation

=Gilda=

"Marble Pillars. Just look at it. Hard to believe they made something this gorgeous." The aptly named warren had a multitude of columns that were placed in a style Grif said was 'greco-romanish' when he looked out the window from his bed. It seems that while most of them avoided the artistic, these hounds were the exception to the rule. It was set in a green valley, turned brown by fallen leaves, with little creeks and streams running through it, and a very thin layer of frost covering everything, as it was nearing winter. We don't know anything about this den, and couldn't tell too much in the dark of night, other than it's heavily defended if the multitude of ballistas that sat on the walls and pillars, and were packed with everything from harpoons with reels for pulling airborne threats down, to massive bundles of arrows that would split apart when fired for what Grif called a 'shotgun' effect. This was one den that we would not want to tangle with using mobile forces. Even with armor, they'd be ripped apart by the sheer force of the assault.

"So..... what do you think we should do?"

"You're the captain Gilda."

"And while you're in that bed, you're the tactical adviser. Gimme my options."

"Alright. Option one is we fly out and attack them head on, and we all die horrible deaths by their artillery."

"Clearly not picking that one."

"Two, we leave them alone,"

"We came all the way here, that's a no go either."

"Sneak in and assassinate the leaders."

"Possible, although they look like they have pretty tough security."

"Attack them from the ship, destroy their defenses then fly out to meet them."

"That's good."

"They're clearly not the standard dogs if they have weapons and architecture that require advanced design. Negotiate. Reason with them. Failing that, we can still attack."

"I think we'll go with that one. How do we go about doing it?"

"Drop the ship below the clouds and shout greetings?"

"Would that work?"

"We can try. The spell is 'sonor' by the way."

I stood on deck as the ship dropped out of the night clouds, and from my perch I could see a swarm of activity within the city. Dogs getting armored, loading the weapons, and a trio of dragons coming out from within. The strangest thing was, the flying serpents were NOT in chains. In fact.... I saw a couple griffins and ponies down there, walking around freely.

"The hell.......... Etch, Growl, Nadene, Tiras, Trixie, hell, everyone! What do you make of that?"

"Seems to me like they aren't slaves." The unicorn stated.

"Peaceful?" The smaller dog pondered as he tilted his head to the side.

"Well armed." The larger added. "Protects self, does not attack."

"Tiras, on the gun. Use the spotlight only and shine it on that building there, in the center of the city."

He did as I asked, and upon the light reaching the pavillion like structure, I spotted three dogs standing tall, all wearing different coloured armors, each one matching the scales of one of the dragons. They also held spears in their paws and wore golden circlets. They stood taller than all the others, obviously alphas, and were flanked by several in full steel, clearly betas. Donning my own rainbow armor and my bow, I turned to face the city below and concentrated on the gems set into the bow's grip.

"Sonor. GREETINGS. Well.... let's see if that worked...."

After a few minutes, the trio of large dogs climbed atop the dragons that matched their armor colours, who then flew up to the ship and surrounded it. All the warriors on board seemed on edge, and the cannons were let out to face the possible threat as we all threw protective spells on ourselves.

"You are not Captain Griffin." The one on the yellow dragon stated.

"He is currently indisposed, and by his authority, I am commanding the ship."

"And who are we speaking to?" The one on the red asked.

"Captain Gilda of the Griffin Pirates."

"We will not tolerate any raiding here. Leave." The one on the blue, a female, added. Female Alpha? that's unusual....

"Actually, we have questions that we would like answered."

"And why should we entertain such a conversation?" The blue dragon asked. This is getting us nowhere. I'm not sure what to do here..... Grif was always the one with the silver tongue....

"No reason at all." Came a voice from a window, the captains of course. "Do you need a reason for idle chatter?"

"Who is there?"

"Griffin."

"Ah. The legendary pirate captain who has been laying waste to slaver troupes. Why do you not present yourself? Do you perhaps fear us and so hide behind your crew?"

"Actually, I'd love to come out and say hi. Just give me a minute."

After not a minute, but ten, he finally appeared at the stairs, struggling to get up them. Our guests didn't seem to mind the wait, although the looks on their faces when they saw the state he was in was surprising to say the least.

"What in the......"

"How did...."

"The dragonbane was defeated?"

"What is the meaning of this?" All six, the three dogs and their rides, asked as one.

"This is the end result of kindness."

"Why have you come to this place?"

"To negotiate."

"How? In your injured state you pose no threat to us."

"My crew is more than enough. And who said anything about threats? You all seem like reasonable canines, perhaps it would be to mutual benefit..."

"Explain."

"Gladly, but first, maybe you'd like to come in so we can discuss it over dinner?"

"And risk you poisoning us, being surrounded by your crew, on your home terrain?"

"Then, perhaps some neutral ground? The field outside the city. Bring as many guards as you like, and each side will eat what they brought so there is no risk of betrayal?" Trixie spoke up. Good thing she pays attention to Grif's rants. I really ought to, but I just don't have a mind for negotiation, if my time in Ponyville is any indication.

"Very well. One hour."

"Griffin, what the HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED?!??" Nadene started shouting. "In case you haven't forgotten, you're still recovering!"

"Hey, it's not like moving will hurt me any. Actually, okay, it might hurt, but it won't cause any damage as long as I don't overdo it. I need some fresh air anyways, and something about these dogs tells me they're going to be reasonable. For one, as far as I can tell, they don't have slaves. For two, they didn't just up and attack us. Let's try okay? I'll have Starlight come with me and make us intangible in case anything goes wrong."

"How do you plan on getting down? If we land the ship we could get swarmed."

"Forma versus. that's how." He suddenly switched to human again. Looking into his empty eyes was unnerving, but at least he's making use of his down time. The damage to his human body isn't bad at all, other than the eyes, so it's pretty viable. He put on a pair of sunglasses anyways, so as not to weird everybody out. He reached out with one hand and rubbed it along my neck feathers, bringing a blush to my face, before he stepped in close. I lowered myself to the ground and lifted him up with my wings to settle him on my back, which made me feel even more flushed.

'It's just a ride. We're just flying down to talk with some dogs. That's all we're doing. He's on my back and oooooooh he just rubbed my shoulders... this is gonna be harder than I thought. Damnit, I bet you planned this....'

"I see you have all arrived.... except the captain......" The one in yellow pointed out.

"I'm right here."

"You....... are not Griffin."

"Yes I am. Forgot to mention, I'm a shape shifter. Anyways, that body was too beat up to let off the ship, so I changed my form. Unfortunately, this one got it's eyes torn out, so meeting with you all will be an exercise in blind trust for me." Nobody laughed at the possibly unintended pun. "I do hope that you won't take advantage of my good faith." I helped guide him into a chair we had placed next to a large table. I sat to his left, with Shimmer on mine, followed by Etch. On his right was Wisp, in case we needed to go intangible, to her right was Nadene, Maria, and Growl. Across from us were the three alphas, and six betas, two for each, standing behind them as guards. Maria brought out the food which we all slowly picked at, Griffin being very careful not to spill as he blindly maneuvered his fork and knife to cut a slab of venison.

"The voice is the same, but the form is different, and not anything I recognize...... peculiar..... Now, what is the reason for you coming here?" The female alpha, who actually seemed to be the leader among the three as well as the most untrusting, asked before putting a couple emeralds into her mouth.

"As you know, we're waging a war on slavery, hunting down any and all who take others away from their loved ones and force them to work against their will. We noticed how your city seems a lot more..... refined than the others we've seen, and also that there were dragons, griffins, and ponies walking around inside the city walls, not bound in any way......."

"That is because we have no need for slaves. Why spend all those resources capturing slaves who don't want to work, then guarding them, then trying to keep them alive, all to do a job that we are for more effective at doing ourselves? I would say it was lazy, except that it takes far more effort to do that way. The dragons Riv'ak, Tol'ush, and Mer'na were orphaned five hundred years ago, and by the wisdom of our ancestors, were taken in and treated as family. In return, they protect Marble Pillars and it's people. The griffins you see came here after the fall of the dominion, looking for a better life, and the ponies are the descendants of escaped slaves who had nothing to return to in Equestria. The griffins change the weather as we need it, using snow from the mountain tops, and the earth ponies farm the land, keeping it vibrant and full of life, especially fertile after it is tilled by diamond dog miners. We have a good system here, in which all are happy. Why have you come to disturb this?" Explained the one in yellow, who seemed the most reasonable.

"We're not here to disturb at all." I pointed out. "The fact is, if you do not practice or allow slavery within your walls, we have no quarrel with you." They all seemed to ponder at that for a moment, quite confused.

"It seems there has been a misunderstanding.... did you not declare war on diamond dogs and Ruby Hollow? 'The day of reckoning has come. Those who follow shall find prosperity, those who resist shall be swept away by the tides of change. So says Griffin the cursed, captain of the Griffin Pirates, chief of the White Wind, kin of the Silent Wolf, and bane of dragons.' Those are your words, are they not?"

Grif sat there with a blank look before facepalming so loud that everyone, even the dragons, were a little bit startled. There was a visible red mark on his forehead when he took his hand away. "Of course all they did was relay the message and not give any context..... why did I expect any different?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The 'falling in line and experiencing prosperity' means stopping the slave trade, stop murdering the innocents and feeding them to dragons. When I said 'those who follow' I meant follow my example, not hand over leadership....... those being swept away by the tides of change is the ways of slavery......." His explanation brought a trio of face paws from the alphas.

"Stone Fang always was a moron, and a weakling at that. Besides being a foolish old coot."

"Given the fact that they knew what our mission was, yet the decided to only give some of the facts, it seems as though he was hoping to twist what was said to make it seem like our goal was genocide. It wouldn't be too hard to believe. A bunch of griffins going around and slaughtering diamond dogs just because they can.... So far this is the first time we've had to deal with opposing propaganda...."

"Well..... perhaps they are right, or, perhaps were were mistaken, that has yet to be seen. So, now that you know of our history.... what will you do?" They seemed confident. They knew they had us. Their guns on the ridge trained on us, three alphas in dragon scale armor, harvested from the shed skins of the three dragons they rode, and a dozen other warriors. They knew if things turned out badly, they had us, which is why they had no fear at all in this conversation.

"Since you operate within ethical bounds, we'd be content to leave you be should you desire. Other than that, by the fact that you have such extensive defenses, and by the speed and efficiency you were able to mobilize, it's safe to say you have to deal with invasion often?"

"You would be correct in that assumption."

"Diamond dogs refuse to be lead by any other than their own, or a kin, one who has proven themselves. As such, when we defeat warrens, would it be reasonable to direct them to your leadership that you can get them on the 'right' path?"

"That would be..... fortuitous, and appreciated, in return?"

"Marble pillars could act as a safe haven within 'enemy' territory, as well as a closer gathering point than Canterlot for those we liberate. Besides that, open trade with Equestria to the south, bringing prosperity to both, and an expansion of your hold, as well as relations with our own nation spread out along the isles of the ring sea, in conjunction with the zebras. Given how spread out we're going to be once we get set up, it basically means trade access with the entire rest of the known world. The cats of the jungle with their exotic exports of rare and valuable herbs and such, the isles with their rich bounty of food, both fruit, fish, and other meats, zebrican potions and ivory from the herophants they have roaming their lands, equestrian gem deposits, as well as access to the rest of Gem Fido and the Old Dominion." Their eyes comically turned to gemstones at that explanation, before turning back to normal and the dogs cleared their throats. They know quite well how important having open trade is. At least we've got their attention.

"So.... in return for this, all you ask is that we continue the way we have for the past six hundred years, and expand our empire which means more profit for us.... which you'll assist us in doing, followed by open and fair trade with the rest of the world, which you'll also spearhead?"

"Essentially, yes." They turned and began whispering to each other, although I could make out some of it as 'is he serious?' and 'fools not to do it', followed by 'test?' nods of agreement, and them turning back to us.

"Very well.... if you are serious, and are truly capable of doing what you claim, then we have a.... test.... to determine if you are a griffin of your words. To the northeast of here is Clay Pallor. They have been a thorn in our side for far too long with their near constant raids, then disappearing before we can retaliate. Any offenses we make are useless as they merely hide in their iron fortress, under a hill of clay baked by their captive dragon. Put an end to their alpha and convince our long hated foes to join us, and we will have a deal."

"Actually, this works out quite well. We were headed there anyways, and you just gave us valuable information. You have our thanks, so, perhaps we should offer you some information in return. There are two others that we know of who have begun assailing Gem Fido as well. One is heterochromiac, silver furred wolf swordsman who cries blood. Believed to be the lunar legend. He's quite reasonable as long as you don't bring up his past. If you see him, tell him you already talked to Griffin and have an accord. The other......." His face contorted with a look of rage and pain.

"The other is a black dragon named Ember. She is about one and a half my height in this form, but holds the power of several dragons. She has a horrible temper, and suffers from multiple personality disorder. She is the one who tore off my wing and crushed my ribs as a griffin, and ripped out my eyes as I am now. She is not to be trifled with, and may very well slaughter this hold if you so much as mention my name. Pray to whoever diamond dogs pray to that she doesn't come here, and if she does, one, you don't know me, two, don't ask her any personal questions, three, you already deal with Equestria and are under the princess's protection. That last one is not a lie, as I'm considered a knight of Equestria. I'll inform them right away of your status." The three of them gulped when Grif explained the situation, then nodded again.

"That information is quite valuable. Thank you for your time. We look forward to seeing you again, but be warned. Do not double cross us."

"So long as you show the same consideration, I have a feeling that we'll get along just fine."

With that, we all stood, shook on it, then headed back to our respective homes. As Grif rode on my back again, I felt that heat again and a tension in my stomach. Damn... he's not making this easy on me....... especially with his smooth skin and hands rubbing against my back as I flew him home.

"Say Gilda...." He started when we got on board.

"Yeah Grif?"

"I could tell you were pretty antsy down there. What's up?"

"You don't know?"

"Um... no?"

"I'm in heat damnit! Not only does your smell drive me bonkers, but with your hands and smooth skin rubbing on me that whole time, it's making me crazy!" He backed away slightly then tripped and fell on his ass on the deck. Right, he's blind, so completely defenseless, and I'm raging out on hormones.....

"Well..... while I admire the fact that you haven't been having Trixie and Nadene help you like you said you would, and I know because I talked to them about it, you shouldn't torture yourself."

"But it's not THEM I love damnit! It's you!" A tear came to my eye. "Do you think so little of me that you wouldn't even get jealous?"

He choked at that point, and I heard another slap of his hand hitting his head. "Why didn't you tell me you felt that way? Of course I'd be jealous! I'd be furious! But.... at the same time, it's because I trust you and I love you above all else that I can forgive anything you do while in your... altered state of mind." Suddenly, I got a wonderfully devious idea.

"Forgive me for ANYTHING eh? Say..... your human ribs got fixed a long time ago. Other than being blind, you're unharmed......."

=Griffin=

"Forgive me for ANYTHING eh? Say..... your human ribs got fixed a long time ago. Other than being blind, you're unharmed......." As soon as she said that, I pretty much knew what was going to happen. I suddenly felt her claws around my arms as she pinned me to the deck, and shouted for everyone else to get out of her way as she clutched me to her chest and flew into the ship. Now, being blind is one thing, but being kidnapped and flying while blind is another thing all together. My heart raced as I was filled with fear, and a little exhilaration, and a LOT of lust from being pushed so close to her, feeling the warmth her body gave off, and the smell of her hormones that hung in the air driving ME a little crazy. Needless to say, Gilda was a lot more relaxed the next morning as I, still in my unclothed human form was clutched close to her chest as she slept.

"Well.... I better get back to my hospital bed and get feathered again so I can heal up. You gonna be alright?" I asked as I struggled to get dressed.

"Yeah. At least I don't have to worry about going crazy anymore, here, let me help you with that." Her breathing became a bit laboured as she helped me put on my clothes.

"You alright?"

"Yes!" She squeaked a little. "I mean, I'm alright."

=Gilda=

'Oh come ON! Wait.... don't tell me he doesn't know about that? How can he not know? Did I not tell him? Putting clothing on, especially pants........ I want to just rip them back off and drag him back to bed! No... Gilda, control yourself.... I have a job to do. Just help him back to the medical bay and get him turned into a griffin again......'

Dear Princess Celestia,

We've found a diamond dog warren that does not participate in the slave trade, and are quite refined as well. We've managed to make a deal with them to help in taking over Gem Fido, and with their leadership, things will turn out better for everybody. This is a major step to opening free trade, freeing the slaves, and bringing a brighter future to everyone. As a 'Knight of Equestria' Grif offered Marble Pillars partnership with, and thereby, the protection of Equestria. How you intend to go about this is your own decision. Once the New Dominion is set up, we plan on having a partnership with them as well, but for the meantime will use the location as a waystation for freed slaves, trade, and supplies. So, that leaves only one thing left.

Why is it that putting clothes ON is seen as erotic? Shouldn't taking them off be more arousing?

Sincerely, Gilda.

An Etch In My Heart (89)

An Etch In My Heart

=Etch, Just after the Ember Incident=

"Kalth, I glad, see you. Fear, gone forever. Be free, like dream." Tears fell from the eyes of my wife, rolling down her short, thin muzzle.

"Please Malina, I go by Etch now. I am glad you are well, both of you." I ran my claws over the pom pom's in her fur, as well as rubbed my now ten year old son's head.

"Why?"

"It is the name the Captain has given me, and I find that I prefer it to the name those monsters called, with their whips and shackles. I go by what I wish, and while I am on this ship, that is my name."

"You.... speak..... refined?"

"I owe much to that 'magnificent bastard'. He taught me to read and write, to think. As much as this is a war ship, it's also a place of discovery, of science, and.... magic." I rolled a gem in my paw, one which glowed with the familiar inner light of magic, one which she immediately threw into her mouth with a crunch and swallowed.

"Now now, we can't be doing that. There are many things that are more tasty than gems, but you'll learn about that as well. For now, I think we should go see Griffin. We've spent a great deal of time catching up, I think we should go give him an introduction, and our respects, considering he's in the hospital now."

We walked down to the medical bay and found him laying in a bed on his back, with white silk sheets covering his lower half. He was scribbling.... something, on some parchment, and when he noticed the three of us enter the room.

"Etch. Good to see you. you've been fairly absent for the past week. I'm glad you found your family. Is this them?"

"This is my wife, Malina, and my son, Grog."

"Grog?"

"We were drunk when we named him."

"Ah." He looked at them curiously, tilting his head to the side.

"Well.... it's.... nice to meet you?" Something is making him feel awkward.... I just wish I knew what....

=Grif=

'His wife is a POODLE! Must. Not. Laugh. His son looks a bit like Growl though, just, mini.'

=Etch=

"You.... thank..."

"The phrase is 'Thank you.' dear."

"I understand the sentiment. It's the thought that counts. And You're welcome." The captain replied.

"Um......." My son said hesitantly as he looked at the captain laying in bed.

"Hey.... come on over, don't be shy." He slowly walked over and looked at Griffin intently, struggling to bring up his voice and ask what he wanted.

"I...... in the mines...... griffins were nice, other slaves..... snuck gems for me....... kept warm..... Many thanks. Can I..... pet you?" The captain's eyes seemed confused for a moment, maybe a little shocked, before he smiled.

"Sure. Go ahead." Grog walked over and put a paw on the captain's head, then softly rubbed his feathers before backing away with a smile of his own.

"Alright you little scamp. How about you head down to the mess hall with your mother, and tell Maria to I said to give you some clam shells. Oh, and be sure to use manners..... Never had sea shells before?"

"They're good. Like... salt water taffy... oh, you haven't had that either.... hmm..... we'll just go get some, you'll see."

"Actually, Etch, can you stay here a moment, I'd like a word with you."

After my family exited the medical ward, I walked up to Griffin, a bit nervous as to what he wanted of me.

"Etch, you've been with us for a while, and you're an important part of the crew. Do you remember what you said your reason was for joining us?"

"Well, one, I had nowhere else to go, but more importantly, I wanted to find my family."

"That's right. And, now that you've found them, that desire has been fulfilled. You've found your loved ones, still alive, and rescued them. And you have plenty of places you can go now, so now, what is your reason for staying?"

"I am loyal to you and your cause."

"Well, you see, the thing is, that's not enough. It's my cause, not yours. I'm glad you're here, and I'd like you to stay, but, as I always said, just so you know, staying with the crew has always been an option, not a requirement. You found your family, and I wouldn't want to get in the way of your happiness because you feel obligated to continue, just because you feel gratitude."

"Are.... you telling me to leave?"

"Not at all. I won't kick anyone off this ship unless they do something terribly wrong, and you've done something very very, right. No, I'm not telling you to go, all I'm doing is reminding you that if you want to, you can. I won't hold you back. It's just..... I saw how happy you were with your family. They've gone without you for what is it, nine years now? If you were to die, and they lost you again..... I'm just thinking about what would be best for them you know? In the end, it's your choice what you want to do."

"Well.... what would you do if you had children?"

He stopped for a moment and tapped his claw to his chin, opened his beak, then closed it and thought more.

"Well..... I'd try to keep going, but if it came down to it, I'd settle down. Raising my kid would become a priority. Sure, what we're doing is important, but there are others.... those who can keep going, even if we can't."

"Then that is what I'll do. I will stay on the ship for as long as I feel I can, but should the time come that I wish to leave, to be with my family and live in peace, that is what I shall do. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm done. Not by a long shot. I'll keep helping in any way I can, from diplomacy to teaching, I just wouldn't be on the ship anymore." At my answer, a tear came to the captain's eye.

"Etch.... always so loyal.... so thoughtful.... I know I seem unappreciative at times but..... if you do decide to go, I want you to know I'll be happy for you. You've come so far, accomplished so much. The whole reason you joined, fought, shed your own tears and the blood of your foes, you succeeded. You've done what you set out to do, and I'm happy for you. The goal of everyone on this ship should be to get to the point that they no longer have to be on it. You've done that, and I am happy for you. I am so happy for you..... and a bit jealous, but not enough for resentment. When I looked at your son.... saw his smiling face...... even though I'm in this hospital bed, I know, we're making a difference in this world. A single child who wasn't smiling before is now..... and that alone is a reminder to me that this is all worth while. I'll be honest, I was feeling really depressed before, all the sacrifices made, and starting to get tired of it, but seeing Grog, and Malina, and you.... all so happy...."

"I understand." And then I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a hug. Sometimes, I forget that Griffin is barely into adulthood, and given his upbringing, is less mature than most. Inside, he's still just a child, who is looking for approval from others, saw something broken, and is trying to fix it in hopes of seeing someone smile at him, to tell him job well done. He tries so hard to make us all feel appreciated, because he knows how much it hurts to be scorned, even after all your efforts. "Now get better. We might be able to manage with Gilda in charge, but we're waiting on you."

Morals (90)

Morals

=Gilda=

"So. Here we are. Clay Pallor. They've got those ballistas too, and we know there's a captive dragon... Okay... just like Grif said... think objectively. What is the goal? We need to take the warren down, but keep them alive so we can send them to Marble Pillars.... Which means we only really need to kill the alpha, and anyone who guards him. To do that, we need to either get us in, or him out. Options..... Assault the fortress... they'll just lock themselves in till we leave. Sneak in, it'll be guarded, and they probably have the door locked at all times unless someone is going in or out. Trick him into leaving? Not likely, since we won't be able to get close. They know who we are...... grr.. How can we get to him? Wait..... Something Grif said.... I remember.... with the princesses. Taunt them into doing something uncharacteristic...... Could we somehow goad him into coming out?............ No wonder Grif is always talking to himself, thinking out loud. All this thinking makes my head hurt, and now I'm doing it too. Let's see what else his journal has."

Reading through a couple chapters where I didn't learn too much, just recounting how we trained, united the tribes, how the 'Forma Versus' spell worked on the hidden cats, all the way up to when we got to Port Redstone. There wasn't much in there, other than one entry that caught my eye.

Entry Twenty Two

Not much more I can figure out about magic without more reference material. As far as I can tell, each word has multiple meanings, and each meaning has multiple sub meanings, which mean different uses. The protect spell can be used as a harden skin, as more of a low energy endurance against light attacks, like a needle storm or light flames, which will last indefinitely till it takes damage, a medium power block which drains energy constantly, like picking up a shield. It constantly uses stamina, and then a little more when it takes a hit. Then, the third type, which is an impenetrable barrier, which takes a massive amount of magic to maintain, but won't degrade with minor hits, only over time, or if an attack is strong enough to shatter it. I haven't found any use for this type of shield, as frankly, it's much too costly on the magic reserves to set up and maintain, so unless someone points a dozen or so cannons at me, I won't be using it. Finally, there's what I like to call 'cushion' spells, that rather than blocking an attack, merely lessen the effects. I equate it to being a massive wall of pillows. Not so good for attacks, wonderful for falls. I'll classify them as 'Guardian' for the first, 'Shield' for the second, 'Barrier' for the third, and 'Sponge' for the fourth. There is no difference in the pronunciation, but the magic required varies per spell, with 'Sponge' actually costing the least, as it doesn't protect entirely, only dampening blows. That's pretty much it. Visualize your skin hardening, or a shield appearing in front of you, or a barrier around you, or a mass of soft things, and that will decide what the outcome is when you say the incantation.

Also, where you visualize it seems to have an effect as well. Thinking of a shield in front of your body will protect your entire body, while thinking about it at your head, rather than protecting the head, guards the mind. There's also an invisibility spell I've been hoping to try out. Obscuro, meaning 'To obscure'. It seems to give a chameleon effect, you're only visible if you move, or the light shines right through you giving a hazy air effect like in the movie 'Predator'. Takes a lot of magic though, better to use a shadow spell in most cases. As for other references, I've been studying Trixie's explosion shield. I wonder if she could put a barrier in someone's head and expand it?

"Well... that's nice to know, but it doesn't really help us... grr..... okay, time for some advice." I walked to the PA system. "Cable, can you get the main crew, as well as Wisp and Dusty down to the medical bay? We need to have a meeting."

"Ja." Soon enough, the announcement came over the speaker, and I met several others on the way down to Grif's bed.

"So. We're here, and you're telling me you can't find a way in, or to get them out?"

"Pretty much. Goading them to come out, full frontal assault, trickery, sneaking in, they all seem to come up as dead ends."

"I can see why Marble Pillars would have so much trouble with them. They have an unbeatable defense. So, they live in an iron fortress, buried until baked clay. Steel inside of brick. Only one opening, so they can concentrate all their forces at one point. Because of that, large reserves, so they can't be starved out. They're going to be paranoid, so the 'Trojan Horse' maneuver won't work either, and they won't be willing to negotiate. They aren't civilized, but they are by no means stupid. If they were, they wouldn't have lasted this long...... Teleporting inside?"

"Can't. Need to know where we're going."

"Intangibility?"

"Only short term. Remember, we can't touch ANYTHING, which means so long as we're intangible, we can't even breath. Who knows how long we'd have to stay like that before we could get inside? We'd suffocate."

"Can't just bash the door down either. This much trouble just getting in, let alone the armed forces. At least once we're in, intangibility would give us an escape route..... Couldn't you just make the door intangible instead?"

"Too big."

"Ergh..... give me a couple days to think of something. In the mean time, get Starlight to go down there and scout the place out."

Two days had passed, and Starlight had been down to the entrance several times, nearly a dozen guards outside the gate, a mere slit in the solid door for the eyes of the guard inside to look out, but the good news, no artillery inside the constructed cave. Just outside. The entire thing was built on intelligent cowardice. In the event of an attack, they just seal the door and leave the forces outside to their fate. All in all, a completely solid defense. The only way to open the door was to have someone on the inside open it. Given this information and another day to think, Grif finally came to a conclusion.

"Fuck. I got nothing..... looks like I gotta reach into my bag of tricks."

"Bag o' tricks?" Steelhorn looked at him incredulously.

"It's my name for some things I've developed that are secret. So secret that I didn't even put them in my journal, because I intend to take them to my grave. Things that, if they were misused, or the secret got out, it would certainly do more harm than good, and could possibly rain destruction over the entire world. Everyone but Trixie and Gilda, please leave." They did as he asked, and once they were gone, he set an 'umbra' spell over the door, so that nobody else could hear. Of course, there were still a couple other patients, but I felt like he had a plan for them too.

"Grif..... is this that whole 'nuclear' thing you avoided before?"

"No, although that fits into the same category. I can't make A-bombs myself, but if that knowledge got into the hands of someone who could figure it out.... but, that's besides the point. You know what we stand for, don't you?" He said questioningly.

"Freedom, right to life, happiness." Trixie recited as if it was from a school book.

"Right. We fight slavery, save the lives of the innocent, and try to improve the world. These fundamental goals, these... tenets, are everything we stand for in the world. In order to conquer into Clay Pallor, we're going to break them. What I'm about to teach you goes against everything we believe in, and you must both swear to never ever use this knowledge again, unless all three of us agree upon it, and never share this knowledge with anyone unless we agree upon that as well." His look, even though he was in the hospital, it was so stern, so fierce, I don't doubt that if I made this vow and broke it, he'd climb right out of his bed and strangle me to death, regardless of injury.

"Grif...... what kind of thing are you talking about here? What could be so terrible....." He cut me off.

"Mind control."

"What?"

"What I'm talking about, is using magic to enter a contest of wills. Your will against the will of the spell target. This spell basically pits the caster and their target's determination against one another, as you try to break each other's spirit in a kind of mind-scape. The victor... they gain control of the loser's body. Permanently. The loser has their will broken, and for the rest of their life, they take the backseat in their own body. They sit there and have to watch as someone else controls their every action. They feel everything, but control nothing. As for the caster, they have a body that will do whatever they will it to, within it's capability. Which includes pushing it beyond it's physical limits to the point of damaging itself. And the entire time, you can hear and feel the mind of the one you took control of in the back of your mind, screaming or crying, begging to be let go. That's the problem. No matter how much you want to, you can't let them go. At least, I haven't found a way to do it. What's more, if you lose the contest of wills, the opposite effect of what you wanted to happen occurs. It's dangerous. This is one of the darkest magics I have ever discovered, and I wish that I hadn't." His eyes were still stern, but they had a look of sadness as well.

"Grif....."

"This spell..... it violates the right to freedom. It takes away a person's choice, freedom, their entire life. And, for the rest of it, you have a puppet you have to take care of. Look at my bedside table. See that ant?" I turned to look, and there it was. An ant. A simple ant. Just, standing there. Not moving at all.

"Don't tell me you..."

"I found it the other day, and I tested on it. Watch it closely." We both leaned down so we could see it clearly. It turned to look at us, then with it's mandibles.... ripped off it's own leg. Then another, and another, and another. finally, it grabbed it's abdomen, ripped it off, then it laid down and died.

"Did you just?"

"It isn't sentient. It doesn't have a mind, but it CAN feel pain. Just now, it was screaming in the back of my head in pain and fear. And then it died. This spell makes a connection with the target, an unbreakable psychic connection, and then crushes the will of the loser, allowing the winner to take over the body. This spell.... should never be used on anything with a mind. And it's exactly what I'm proposing we do. Given the moral implications of this, I won't order either of you to do it, and, since I'm not actually captain right now, I don't have the authority to do it either. That falls to you, Gilda. As captain, you can tell me to take this idea and shove it..... or you can order me to tell you how to do it, then use it to command the gate guards to let us in. The thing is, when you take someone's mind, all their memories are in there too. You can access them as you wish. They're put in a cage in your mind and are completely helpless. And again, a warning to you. If you lose the battle of wills. That's it. Unless the one who beat you dies, you're done. Either way, if you use it, you'll never be the same. The decision falls to you." He looked at me sincerely. He was really going to make me make this kind of decision.... but wait. there's something that doesn't explain.

"Then why am I here?" Trixie vocalized my thoughts perfectly.

"Simple. Because if Gilda decides we're doing this. She isn't going to be the one learning the spell. You are."

"What?"

"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Among our group, we are the three with the strongest wills. Gilda's and mine are stronger than yours Trixie, no offense, so if you go bonkers with the power to enslave the mind, not saying it'll happen, but there's no guarantee it WON'T, we'd be the only ones able to stop you. If it's Gilda, she might be able to overpower me."

"I... understand."

"Grif.... you're honestly telling me to order Trixie to risk her very mind?"

"No. You're the captain. It's your call."

"I CAN do it. After all, who has the biggest ego in all of Equestria? The Grrrrreat and Powerrrrful Trrrrixie!" she mocked herself.

"Trix, this is serious. If what he says is true, you could wind up a mind slave. For the REST OF YOUR LIFE. I don't really care if we use it on the dogs, since we're killin em anyways, but it's dangerous for US to be using it... I don't know if I can put you at risk like that."

"Well, we have plenty of time. We're not going anywhere. So, think about it."

'Okay, so, mind control the dog, make him open the door, then kill him. I mean, we're gonna kill em anyways, and it's better than being a mind slave. But, from what Grif said, hearing them screaming bloody murder inside your head, and having all their memories to access too, you might not WANT to kill them. They have family too.... would any of us be able to live with the guilt? Killing someone after seeing their entire life? I suppose we could just stay out of the memories, but still. It's binding someone to yourself, them offing them. As for Trixie.... no. I trust her. She wouldn't turn on us, unless she went crazy from having someone else in her head. As for being able to crush their will... she seems confident, but can she really do it? She's so different from the weak pony she once was..... and it's not an alpha. It's just a guard. They're weak willed by definition. It's why they let the alpha rule them with an iron fist. No.... it will work.... I've made my decision.

The next day, I called Trixie back down to the medical ward, Grif was laying there expectantly.

"Captain."

"Let's fucking do it. Griffin, as captain of this ship I order you to teach Trixie the mind control spell. Upon learning it, Trixie, you will use it to make the guards of Clay Pallor your mind slaves so we can break in and kill the alpha, after which we will kill the mind slaves as well and put them out of their misery. We're doing this ONLY to get in. Nobody, not even slavers, deserve to live like that."

"Aye aye captain. To prepare adequately.... Give us a day. Forma versus." He changed back to a human. As for why, probably so he could move around more easily.

"Let's go to the training room. Clear it out, and order that we are not disturbed for the next twelve hours. There's much more to this spell than just knowing the words." He placed his hand on Trixie's back so she could guide him there.

'I hope Grif and Trixie know what they're getting into.....'

Mind-F--- (91)

Mind Buck?, Cluck?, Duck?, what's the word?

=Trixie=

Preparation for using the mind control spell was..... odd, in more ways than one. He had a barrel with some fish in it brought in, then made a joke about 'shooting fish in a barrel', then shouted 'BARRELS' angrily. In my opinion? Being stuck inside is making him even crazier than before. Still, he's a genius, and this spell is nothing short. The words 'Ego Dominus' basically meaning 'I dominate' or, in simpler terms, 'me=lord'. Now, it's not as simple as casting it. When you use it, both you and the target are pulled into a kind of.... mind-scape as he called it, something he equated to 'the fucking matrix' in that physical form had no meaning at all, and your abilities are only as limited as your understanding of them, and so long as you kept the will to fight, you couldn't lose.

Basically, within that world, you pretty much entered a contest to see how much pain and fear you could cause your opponent to the point that it just gave up. The other thing being, if you could suspend your disbelief, forget the way the world should work, you could change it however you wished, so long as you could convince yourself that it was possible. He changed back into a griffin at this point, and laid on his back to avoid putting pressure on his ribs.

"In coming to this world, and seeing the things I've seen, the fact is, at this point, I believe ANYTHING is possible, you just need to find a way to do it. I've dealt with more weird shit in the... what.... 14 months I've been here? Than most people go through their entire lives. What you're going to do it cast the spell on this fish, then dominate it's mind. It's not sentient, so all it's capable of is instinct. Eat, breed, breathe, fear, pain. It won't have much determination, so all you gotta do is take it out of the water and you'll win. Or, you could show it a predator and give it no way to escape. Either way. So, begin."

I looked at one of the fish, just swimming around the barrel a bit with the five others, pooled some magic in my horn, and spoke the words.

'Ego Dominus.'

Suddenly, the world shifted. I was in a forest, barely illuminated by the pale moon light, grand willows draping their branches over a perfectly clear pond, and in that pond were a number of fish. I could tell at a glance which one was mine, despite there not being any discernible difference between them. I could just tell which one was mine. Hard to describe really. So, I used my magic and lifted it out of the pond and held it in the air. Pretty soon it stopped breathing, and the scene melted away to show the training room. The only thing that had changed was now I could feel a presence in the back of my mind that wasn't there before, and a ghost of a sensation which, when I tried to move it, like moving one of my own hooves, the fish did as I wanted, like I was using the fish's mind to know how to move it's body, like it was an extension of my own.

"Whoa. How long was I...."

"One and a half seconds. I know, it feels like longer."

"This is....... freaky. I know exactly what it's like to be a fish. I'm here..... but at the same time.... I'm there, in that barrel. I can feel everything."

"Good... now try and shut the feeling off. I know you can't really turn it off, but you can ignore what the body is telling you."

"What? Why?" He slowly rolled over and got to his feet before carefully walking over to the barrel and looking into it. I could see him through the fish's eyes, and the fish in the back of my mind was screaming at me to swim away. I did my best to ignore it, demanding that the body stay in position. It obeyed, right up till the point that Grif wrenched it from the water with his claws. At that point, my fish body immediately began squirming about, desperate to get back in the water. He held the fish up so he could look at both it and my face, and all four of my eyes could look into his. In his right eye, I could see my fish face, and in his left, my pony face, brows furrowed and looking anxious beyond all else. That was when he put the fish in his beak, ever so slowly. I could feel as he licked my scales, which sent a shudder down my spine and cringed before he bit down, cutting my other half's life short. I nearly screamed, nearly. I was able to hold myself together, but I was certainly breathing heavily after the ordeal was over. What's more, even though it had only existed for five minutes, there was now a space in my mind that had once held the fish, and I found myself longing for it, even as he ate it raw, stripping the meat from the bones and spitting the skeleton back into the barrel.

"Oh Celestia.... that was horrible. It's.... it's like a piece of ME died..... I... I could feel you eating me before I.... it.... died."

"Which is why you need to learn to ignore the sensation. Remember, whoever you mind control we will eventually be killing. In the most painless and merciful way as possible, but, death is death. Again."

We spent the next couple hours going over the nuances of the spell, and at one point he had me controlling three fish at once before he killed them all at once in very horrible ways that made me feel sick, during which I was able to stop them from squirming at all, gaining control over the instincts that were present. I know its important that I don't let this get to me, and thus why he's doing this, but still. UUUUghghghh.

"And now I get why you were so hesitant to let this out of the bag."

"Not only does it take away someone's freedom, but it's seriously disturbing to the caster. Anyone with low mental fortitude would find themselves either as a mind slave, or go completely bonkers."

"If that's what happens with a FISH, after using this on a diamond dog, I have a feeling that I'll never WANT to use this spell again."

"I think that would be for the best. As for what else.... you need to at least see the target to use it..... and that's about it I guess. Get a good night's rest."

"Gods know I'll need it."

=Gilda=

"Rise and shine folks. While Grif was off training Trixie, here's what I got set as a plan. From the ship, we attack the artillery pieces and destroy them with the big gun. Once they're all taken care of, we'll come down in force and try to break in, but, I'm already fairly sure that will fail, which is why Trixie will be using a secret weapon to get the door open, after which we'll bust in, let their dragon go, and the rest will be 'have at them lads'. Understood?"

"Aye."

"Grif, any words of inspiration.... or mockery, that you think I should use? Something fitting for the occasion?"

"You're the captain, you think of something."

We slowly descended to below the cloud layer, turning all our guns on the hill that sat beneath us, off the starboard. So far, all was calm and quiet. They hadn't seen us yes.

"Ready......" Tiras nodded. "Aim." He looked down the sight and picked his target. His limber form oozing confidence. He knew he would hit. "FIRE!"

The opening salvo was a shot from the main gun which set the strong, but quite flammable timbers of the the nearest giant crossbow into an inferno. The rest of them slowly turned to face us, causing them to lose another two before their first shots came towards us. They hadn't known we were here due to our excellent skill of concealing ourselves, so they weren't exactly expecting an attack from above. Their harpoon launchers, which were made for this kind of attack, fired first, one of the spikes sailing over the ship, a couple bouncing harmlessly off the balloon, a few under it, and one between the balloon and the body, nearly taking Nadene's head off. It seemed to have just nicked her ear, but other than that, she was fine.

Quickly cutting the ropes before the dogs manning the guns could pull us down, a volley of the shot bundles came, but were thankfully blocked by a shield set up by the unicorns inside the ship. The big shots went right through, but the smaller arrows bounced off harmlessly.

'Good thing Grif got unicorns.... our armor can block whatever hits it, but with that many shots, I'm certain some would hit the spaces between.'

"FIRE AT WILL!" Now the cats and griffins all took up their laser rifles and started picking off the dogs below, while another six of the artillery pieces were burnt to cinders. It took us about ten minutes, as some of the pieces were on the far side of the hill and we had to circle around to get them, but finally, all the standard defenses were destroyed. The dogs on the guns had begun fleeing inside, so now was the time to strike.

"Trixie! With me!" I had my own riding harness fitted with my armor, so she quickly jumped on my back, strapped herself in, threw a couple shields on us and set a look of determination on her face.

"Let's do this already."

=Trixie=

As we reached the entrance, we could see the great big door had just finished being closed, and the dogs on the outside were pounding on it, begging to be let in. Of course, they wouldn't be. There were several of them just sitting there, resigned to their fates. They knew they had their backs to the wall, and they didn't have a chance of beating us with our numbers, gear, and training. I looked around and found one in particular who seemed particularly down. Matted fur, all mangy, dirty, looking tired as hell. Perfect.

"Is... over."

"You. Get over here. I got something to say to you." He simply got up and walked over.

"We die now?"

"Well.... you want to open the door for us? Pretty please?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. He simply laughed in our faces.

"Door.... opens..... inside.... only. We, Alpha, worthless, thinks. Leave to die."

"Well, if you can't open the door, and there's no way they'll let us in, I guess we'll just have to come back later when you're caught off guard. I just have one thing left to say to you." I leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "Ego Dominus."

The world shifted, and I found myself looking at the dog, both of us in a dank cave. I immediately shifted the scene to Cloudsdale. While I know I can't NORMALLY walk on clouds, I know a spell exists that makes it possible, so I simply assumed I had it cast on me. Lo and behold, I stood on the cloud. The dog fell through. I smiled and laughed as he fell, then, splat. The world shifted back, and I could now feel his body as an extension of my own, and a voice in my head asking 'What?'

'Ah ah ah, don't worry too much about it. You said you couldn't open the door on your own, so, I'm going to help you do it.'

'My.... body! I can't...."

'That's right... I'm in control now. You're going to do exactly what I want, because you don't have a choice anymore.'

I gave Gilda a tap on the back, and with it, she ordered our forces to pull out. Now it's show time. "I want you to tell that to your alpha." I said to the one I had just mind controlled, which felt weird since I could see myself saying it, and from what I unintentionally learned from this dog as I began going through his memories for anything useful I could find, he likes being dominated, and I was looking at myself VERY affectionately from my dog point of view. I found myself idly wondering what it would be like to fuck myself, before I abandoned that train of thought by shaking my pony head. I turned to the remainder and smirked. "As for the rest of you..... YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!"

Leaving that insult ringing in their ears, we flew back to the ship while I waited outside for us to leave. We sailed off into the distance, making sure they saw us on the horizon before the door opened and I walked inside, getting elbowed by the dog next to me.

"You lucky. Hope come back. Catch pony. Hit that?" I gave a gruff, growl of a laugh before heading in to have dinner..... what I was NOT expecting was for dinner to be.... *gulp* pony.

Breaking The Rules (92)

Breaking The Rules

=Trixie=

The eating area was, quite simply, a fire pit with some rocks to sit on. Above the pit was a roasted pegasus, wings stretched out so they'd cook better. It was glazed a golden brown and covered in some kind of unknown spice, and while I was completely nauseated by the sight, my other half's tongue was hanging out of it's mouth.

"Trixie.... are you okay?"

"Quiettryingnottothinkaboutcannibalismplease."

"Um...."

"Oh, urgk.... they're eating a pegasus. At least they had the decency to kill him first... oh.... oh that's just nasty! They're fighting over who gets to eat the brain!" I simply sat on a rock with my paw under my chin while the rest gorged themselves and got drunk on piss water. Not literally piss water, but some kind of terrible slag they had the audacity to call booze.

At the same time, I was struggling between not digging in myself, but also not LOOKING like I was avoiding it. Well, until the dog from before bumped into me again. I recognized him as this body's friend, who tends to tease, but is at the same time worried about the old mutt.

"No hungry? Me eat?" He asked. I simply nodded, then browsed through the dog's memories for anything else I could find. He's a grandfather to seven pups, three of which died. His mate, not really wife since they didn't have marriage in this den, more like if you did well you could pick a female and rut her for a night till you're satisfied, but in truth they all belonged to the Alpha.... besides the point, she didn't like the conditions very much, so she got fed to the captive dragon, who privately apologized. He didn't like what position he was in, but it's either that or die from hunger. Alright. I know what I'm going to do, as soon as they're all passed out.

'Yes. That, do.' The dog piped up from the back of my mind.

'Hmm?'

'Free, dragon. Is, kind. Friend. I, old.'

'You WANT me to let the dragon out and rip this place apart?'

'So, tired. No, pain more. Me, quick die.'

'You really have given up on life, haven't you?'

'......... Yes. Save.... pups....'

'Don't you worry about that. Once your alpha has kicked the bucket, everyone who doesn't fight is going to go to Marble Pillars so they can teach some old dogs new tricks.'

'Then.... me, peace.'

"Trixie?"

"Oh, huh? Gilda?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah.... I..." A single tear fell from my eye. I mean, I have someone in my head that wants to just die and get it over with, but at the same time is happy because we're taking care of his people once the oppressor is out of the way. "Yeah.... I'm good."

I walked through the corridors until I came across the dragon's prison chamber. Then, I saw him. All chained up, the skin on his wings completely missing, and one of his eyes torn out. Only had half his teeth, had been de-clawed, and large scars all over his.... or rather, her body where the scales had grown over top and were jutting out at odd angles. She was laying alone, in the dark, head on her claws and weeping. I searched the dog's memories. His name, Muro, and the dragon, Nalia.

"Nalia." My voice was gruff and low.

"Muro?" Her voice, despite being a rather large dragon, was quiet. It was soft, and almost silken. Like she was blessing the air itself when she spoke.

"Yes, but, not just him." I could finally stop using the broken speech that the rest of the dogs did, as there were none around.

"Who?"

"Don't worry about that right now. Right now...... how'd you like to have an alpha for dinner?"

"Do not jest Muro...... I know that... how did you get the keys?" She asked as she saw me twirling the key ring around a claw.

"I told you, it's not just Muro in here. They all got drunk to celebrate turning back the 'Griffin Pirates, while I stayed sober, so nobody questioned me when I slipped out and didn't give the alpha any message. Muro wants to help you. So does Griffin, and so do I, but to do that, we're going to need your help as well."

"I've heard tales of Dragonbane and his cursed crew. What would you have of me?" I climbed up on her back, up to her neck, and unlocked the giant collar that restrained her, followed by the muzzle that kept her from opening her mouth more than half way and biting off her restraints which, after it was removed, was exactly what she did.

"Just follow my lead."

=Gilda=

"Alright Gilda, I'm ready on my end. Time to say hello again." Trixie said finally.

"You heard the lady! Descend! Prepare the ground troops!" I yelled to the rest of the crew, despite the fact that they were already prepared. Steelhorn brought the ship down, out of the clouds again, just like the first time. Several dogs on top of the hill who were inspecting the remains of their artillery began running for the shelter of the warren, only to be picked off by our sharpshooters. We disembarked and landed near the entrance of the cave, and looking in, we could see that the door was still closed.

"Second Sight, send a message up to the ship. Tell Trixie we're ready on our end." I told my rider.

"Got it." He closed his eyes, his horn glowed, and then it faded. "She says she's starting now."

=Trixie=

"Nalia, it's time. Let's go." She began slowly creeping through the tunnels, trying not to make much sound, while I rode on her back. When we arrived at the door, the dogs began backing up fearfully, and others demanded to know what was happening.

"Leader say Pirates back. Let dragon have. Open door."

"When enemy come, close door and hide, no open."

"You question alpha? You die when come. You, open door." Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a convincing argument when you have to speak in broken Equestrian? It took everything I had to not start speaking normally, but then that would have blown my cover. After thinking about it for a little, they finally decided to open it. The dogs began cranking the large, spoke wheels that opened and shut the door, and as they did, the massive iron slabs began sliding outwards, a crack of light appearing at the end of the tunnel. The dogs all looked surprised to see Gilda and the rest standing right there, with sinister smirks on their faces. The guards didn't have time to react before they were gunned down, their leather and studded armor being no match for the rifles and bows. Realizing what happened, they turned to begin fighting, as well as close the gate again, but it was too late. Nalia torched the dogs by the wheels, as well as all along the pathways overlooking the gully where the crew would enter. Nobody flanking fire on our watch. Nalia then began burning the other dogs on the ground and smashing them, clearing the way for the crew, but not before a shot came from below, passed right through her stream of fire, and hit me in the neck.

'It.... it wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be a quick death, peaceful, not bleeding out, laying on the dirt. I'm.... sorry.'

'No, care. Just.... WIN!' For the next couple minutes, nothing but silence as his vital essence slowly drained out. Finally, right at the end... 'At least, I, no, die, alone. You, here......' At that, he passed on. I could no longer feel his presence in my mind, nor sense his body. While the battle raged on below, I sat on board the ship and wept.

=Gilda=

"MURO!" The red dragon raged as it's rider took an arrow to the neck. It began throwing fire all over the dogs who were fighting, as well as those who had taken to trying to close the gate. Slowly, the iron slabs started moving inwards again, which would trap half of us inside and lock the rest out. The wounded dragon couldn't keep up, so instead of burning them, it ran and wedged itself between the doors as the dogs strained to close them. She looked straight at me with her one eye.

"GO! I will hold the door!" She boomed as the rest of our forces slipped inside, running the hounds down as they tried to fight as they fled. That was when the alpha came.

"What is the meaning of...... YOU." He glared right at me. His dogs winced and backed away, our forces pulling back as well in order to stay out of the alpha's reach. To say he was angry would be an understatement. His face was bright red, even through the fur, and he had smoke coming from his ears. "I will KILL you!"

"Fat chance Fido." I slung my bow over my back and drew my short sword and shield, both the new 'bug zapper' design Grif had come up with, which Second Sight would keep charged from my back as he gave support. "Ignis." I felt the blade hum in my claws, the shield as well, as I flapped my wings to take a bipedal stance, with my back hunched over so my rider could still see, and to give better balance. My opponent was wielding a very large club, made with a steel head but a wooden handle. Shock wouldn't work well on it, so, I figured I'd be a little creative with the shield. "Ignis." I said again. The sword buzzed with electricity, while the shield heated up, with my rubber gloves protecting me from both zaps and burns.

"No more talk. Fight!"

"I couldn't agree more!" We dove at one another, me leading with my shield, the sword held back in stabbing position, while he did a wide, overhead swing with his club towards my shield, and a punch towards my blade arm. His club connected, and at that moment, I stabbed, only for him to grab the blade in his empty paw and pull it from me, cutting himself in the process.

'Not yet.'

He brought his leg forward and kicked me in the stomach, causing me to double over before bringing his club up to my beak. I felt a crack as I was flung onto my back, dropping the shield.

'Fuck. They're a LOT tougher... that's a broken jaw for sure. There. My shield, it's on the ground.... come on, closer, closer.... now!'

"Ignis..." My rider said as the dog stood over the shield. All the magic I had been pouring into it released at once, making my shield into a flaming landmine. It sent a pillar of flame straight up between his legs, right into his testicles. He began howling in pain. Now it's time for me to use what I learned from Grif about molecular theory. He was standing there, clutching his jewels, with my sword opposite. The unicorn lifted it with telekinesis. The blade skidded across the ground, then lifted up of it's own accord and stabbed him in the back, followed by an "Ignis" from my rider, which sent a bolt of lightning straight from his horn to my blade, right through the heart.

All the other dogs stood there, watching as their leader, slightly shocked and singed, fell over onto his back, driving the blade just sticking out of his back all the way in. If he wasn't dead when the bolt hit him, he is now. I picked myself up, and feeling my jaw, realized it was indeed broken, but not too badly. Most of the pain came from the fact that it was also dislocated. My rider looked quite smug, having finished off the alpha on his own with the setup I gave him. All the other hounds just looked stunned. I motioned to the back line, where a medic pony came forward, her horn glowing and both hooves on my jaw, snapping it back into place and healing it at the same time. I opened and closed it experimentally a couple times, nodded a quick thanks, then turned to face the crowd.

"Listen up! You've LOST. Your alpha is dead, and we killed him. Your captive dragon has been set free, and unless you all want to become lunch, I suggest you listen closely. For the past who knows how long, you've been at war with Marble Pillars. No longer. With your leader's death, the war is over, and this warren is done. You're all going to come with us. We're going to bring you to your enemy's doorstep so they can re-educate you on how to be proper diamond dogs. You will finally have peace and prosperity. No more slaves, no more hunger or fear. Anyone who wants this kind of life can follow us, those who don't want redemption can instead pay for their crimes with their lives." I turned back to the crew. "Round em up boys. You know the drill."

At that point, it was pretty easy. They had all been afraid of their alpha, and did what he wanted out of fear. Now that we put him six feet under ground, they didn't fear him anymore. They feared us. And when we told them we weren't gonna hurt them, but give them better lives, still under the guidance of their own kind.... well....... they MAY have thrown a bit of a party while they marched, following our ship back to civilization. They were quite nervous standing in the gateway of their former enemies, but when they were welcomed openly, given food, medical treatment and such, by both Marble Pillars and our crew, their trepidation vanished, just like that. Some cried. Some danced. Some hugged their families. Nalia was brought with, marching alongside the dogs so she could keep her one eye on them, and on reaching our destination, she was given medical treatment as well..... as for Trixie.....

=Trixie=

"Nalia?"

"Hmm?"

"It's.... me. You don't know the voice but, I'm the one who was with Muro."

"I see......"

"I did something bad, in taking his freedom away..... and at the end of it all, you know what he did?" Another tear fell from my face. "He thanked me. I took control of his body, and he thanked me for giving him the strength to do what he had always been afraid to, he thanked me for giving his death meaning by freeing his people, and he thanked me for being next to him, in his mind, when he died so he wasn't alone. I took everything away from him, and he fucking thanked me. Am..... am I a horrible person?"

"It sounds as though you gave him a lot more than you took away. To answer your question, yes. You are a horrible pony, but at the same time, you are far less horrible than those who did.. this..." She showed all her wounds. "To me. At one point, I was starving, and the alpha fed to me Muro's family. The other option would have been to starve to death, and I truly regretted what I did. And he forgave me. Tell me. Do you regret doing what you did?"

"I don't regret saving all of you, but I do regret the way I did it. I never want to do that again......"

"Then, I'm sure he forgives you as well. I have lived a long time, and I know we must sometimes do things we do not like, things that we hate, and we know are wrong, just to keep living. Allow them to haunt you, so that you will never forget, and never fall to corruption. One who kills for a good reason, but regrets it, will never kill for a bad reason."

".... Thank.... you."

"Now go, I am sure you have other things that require your attention, one of which is rest. You and Muro have had a long day, and he is resting while you still linger in the waking world."

=Griffin=

Laying in bed, I was going over a new way to use a couple spells I knew, but couldn't test it out while I was in bed. It was also one of those things I just wanted to try myself, as I can't have Gilda running off to try every new thing I come up with. After all, she's got a ship to run. It was at this point that Trixie came bursting in, walked right up to my bed, and put her head on my chest.

"Never again Grif. We won the fight, only lost a couple of our own, hardly killed any of the dogs, gained a new ally, as well as freed the entire pack, as well as their slaves, many of which have already expressed their desire to join the crew. This was a huge success, and I never want to do what I did ever again. When you become captain again, please don't make me....."

I rubbed her head with my claw. "I won't Trix. I won't......" I don't know what happened inside her head, I don't think I ever will, and I'm not sure I even want to know, but if it tore her up this much, I can't make her do it again. She took someone else's mind, and made their body her plaything. She had access to every aspect of their being, and probably saw a good portion of their life, only to have them die and be ripped away. You become so intimately familiar with the one you dominate, you could almost call them your friend, and knowing that you've given them a death sentence is more than most can take. After all, Trixie is still a pony. An incredibly violent, angry pony, but a pony none the less, and this time we pushed her past where she was ready and able to go. I don't know if she'll ever feel the same afterwards. She'll recover, and get back to normal, but inside she'll always be a little bit different from now on. She'll have that sense of longing for the one she took, and empty spot in her heart that she can never fill.

Betrayal (93)

Betrayal

=Griffin=

"Hey guess what guys? So long as I take it easy, Nadene agreed to let me out of the hospital bed."

"That's great! Well.... other than that I'm still..... um, *ahem*." Gilda replied sheepishly. She really was happy, but given the situation she was in for at least another two weeks, things would be a bit harder on her now that I'm up and about.

"Well, I still don't have a wing, which Geirmund and Steelhorn have apparently been working on some kind of 'special design', but it isn't ready yet, so unfortunately, I'm pretty much stuck on the ship until they get that finished." I lifted my existing wing into the air, stretched it out, and ran my claw along the inside edge, straightening some feathers out. I moved to do the other side, had a sad 'Oh, yeah.' moment, then folded it back in.

"Well. I guess you'll be wanting to take command again...." Gilda said, a little bit of disappointment in her voice, actually. Hmm. Time for that pleasant smirk.

"Nah. I'm nowhere near ready for that. Besides, you did a good job, and it takes a load off my mind so I can work on.... other things. So, pretty much, until you're ready to give it up....." I slapped one of those triangular pirate hats on her head, with one of my own feathers sticking out of it. Where did I get the hat? From Pinkie Pie's time on board, she stashed a number of nautical hats on board, in case she ever decided there was a 'hat emergency' I just happened to find one, sitting in an air duct where she thought nobody would find it. I mean, why bother when she has hammer space? Actually, I think that's how she did it, because I could have sworn there was no hat there till I wanted one. More likely she just put an entrance to her pocket dimension in an inconspicuous location. And now I'm rambling. Anyways, found the hat, put one of my feathers in it, put it on her head. "you get to stay captain."

I gave her a quick nuzzle, since we still haven't figured out whether or not it's even possible to kiss with beaks, especially since ours are two different sizes.... and now I'm rambling on biology too. Did you know griffins have teeth? It's like our heads are human, with a beak stuck on over the mouth and nose, and a longer tongue. There's lips and everything. If we didn't have that, we'd only be capable of squawks and whistles. In fact, we make make a full vocal range without moving our beaks at all....... and I keep losing my train of thought because I've been locked up in the medical ward for WAAAAY too long.

Anyways. I went inside and grabbed a snack of banana yogurt, brushed my beak, (and teeth), took a quick shower, then headed down to the training room... which considering everyone trained on deck or in their own rooms unless it was something particularly big or dangerous, it was empty, with the exception of Surprise who was teaching her.....pair of shadow mice some tricks.

"Um.... Surprise... why are there two Whiskers now?"

"Well, Whiskers looked like he was getting bored and needed a friend, so I made another one. I call him Munchkin. I thought I could start a little shadow mousy circus, so I've been teaching them tricks!" How she could tell the difference between the two, I have no idea.

"Anyways. I was trying something out, but I just couldn't seem to get it to work. I thought, well, pegasi and griffins use their feathers to move air currents, if they didn't, there's no way our wings could lift us given their size compared to our weight, so I started working on something, and I got stuck, so I was wondering if I could see your wings?"

"Tee hee, not without a date and dinner first silly!" Wha...... oh geez.......

"What I mean is I want to examine the airflow around them."

"Okie dokie pokie." Shouldn't it be lokie? Right, not Pinkie Pie. I had her stand in the middle of the room, close her eyes, and , then took out a cloud I had one of the other griffins grab, one of the really wispy ones, and put it under around her wings. I watched as all the cloud above them was pulled down below, where it then stayed in a neat little pocket of air. A couple times I moved the cloud on top, and it just flowed back under. Then I tried the same with my wing, and the same thing happened.

"Hmm..... alright..... yeah..... thanks Surprise. I think I get it now."

"Alrighty! Glad you're walking around. Once you're totally out of the doctor's sights." She aimed down her hoof like it was a gun. "I'll throw a party for you."

"Actually...... here's the thing... I met Gilda a while ago, and I learned when her birthday was AFTER it had passed, and she's been doing so much lately, I was thinking we could throw her a surprise party on Signal. But that's the thing, we CAN'T let her know about it. October Thirteenth. Two weeks Friday. I'm not really sure how to do it, so, think I can leave it to you?" She gave me a salute so hard she thwocked herself on the head with her hoof, causing her eyes to roll around a bit before they settled straight.

"You got it! It'll be the biggest, bestest.... totally not a birthday party for Gilda that I'm trying to keep secret. Oh, and no pranks. Just cake, punch, and fun."

"Good, get to it." With that, she left in a rather perky mood. Partially, I just wanted her out of the training room, but for the most part I really did want to throw Gilda a party. Now, for my experiment......."

=Steelhorn=

"Ahh. Jus a nice, quiet day, with a good bottle a whiskey, relaxin on tha deck, eh Shimma?"

"You said it." Tha young dragon had taken ta drinkin with me. Ah figur she's old 'nuff. Besides, this is a pirate ship. Everyone drinks now and then, with a lot o' emphasis on tha now.

"Ahm jus glad the cap'n been quiet. Restin up, and not doin nuthin ta keep me busy. It's a good thing, bein able ta relax. Maybe if he hadda done it more often, he wouldn'ta turned into a crazy bastard at the gala. Forcin him ta rest may a been tha best bit a good that's happened ta him since he got h---- BOOOOOOOOM......... aww hell. He was let out taday, waddn't he?" The dragoness youngling just nodded sagely.

I lumbered down to where I KNEW he'd be, that blasted training room, and spotted him standing in the doorway, waving smoke away with his wing, his entire left side blackened by virtue of having singed his feathers and fur. Still, there wasn't any fire, but I got no idea why he had that big, stupid grin on his face that despite having been at the center of an explosion, he was proud enough to smile.

"And that was a small one!" He called far too merrily from the hall. I shook my head, grabbed him by his rear leg, and dragged him right back to the medical bay and threw him in his bed. Then I turned to Nadene.

"Listen lass, he tries to get up again before the next two week, ya knock him out. I don't care whether it's with a needle or a fryin pan." She rolled her eyes and gave a huff at Grif, who as I've heard ain't captain no more, by his own choosin. Then I left the room and went back to the scene of the crime to assess the damage. Well, it wasn't too bad, other than that there was a two foot wide hole in the hardwood floor that had been burned right through, and everything around that was black, except for a distinctly griffin shaped spot that was clean as a whistle. I don't know what he did in here, and I don't think I want ta.

"Errrg..... knew I shoulda gone with linoleum....." I turned to look at the hole. "Or maybe concrete. It'd be too heavy to fly, but at least it wouldn't get holes blown in it every week." I built this ship to be damn near impervious to attacks from the outside. I was never expecting the biggest danger to it to be coming from it's passengers. "That griffin is gonna be the death of me. Couldn't he have made up magic for fixin stuff, rather than breakin it? You, unicorn, I don't care what your name is. Fix this hole or find one o yer kin that can, otherwise I'm gonna hafta replace tha whole bloody floor." He gave me a salute, then pointed his horn at the hole, causing it to begin sealing up. 'Shoulda got them on here ages ago....'

=Griffin=

"I let you walk around freely for what? A DAY? And you go and blow yourself up!" Nadene said as she angrily scrubbed my hide of any dirt or grime that had gotten on it from my explosion.

"Yeah..... but the experiment was a success. I just wasn't expecting the loss of containment is all. Taken care of easily enough....."

"Easily enough OFF the ship. I don't care what you do off the ship, but while you're on it, it's MY job to keep you in one piece, and if doing that means giving you a few lumps on the head, then I guess you'll have a lumpy skull till you smarten up."

"Yes mother." I said sarcastically. Suddenly, she jumped right on my bed and straddled me, looking right in my eyes. She was pissed off as is, now she looked to be fuming.

"I can make you cry for your mother if you want me to....." She said with a sadistic grin.

"N...no, no thanks..... I think I'm good." Geez, is she on PMS or something. "Nice kitty?" I began scratching behind her ears, and even though one of them had apparently gotten knicked in the fight, she still seemed to enjoy it, to the point of collapsing into my feathers and purring. "Okay.... awkward........" Wait. Mood swings. Bitchy, then overly squishy..... "Are you in heat or something?" She turned and looked at me with a scowl, then relented.

"I miss MangoJack." Who the hell is that? Should I know him? Could he get me some mangoes?

"Umm...... okay? Definitely in heat. Yeah. I'm not turning human anytime soon, so you can just forget about it. Why is it you cats seem to like humans anyways? You went nuts when Aoi was here, and I could see all the other cats looking at me, heck, even the guys were, although they at least tried to make it seem like they weren't."

She stopped for a moment, thinking, as she considered telling me. She stood at the side of the bed with one finger of her paw/hand to her chin, then shrugged. "The smell."

"The smell?"

"Something.... with the smell... kind of like catnip."

"So.... humans smell like catnip..."

"No, they don't smell like catnip, but the effect is the same. Euphoria, silliness, lowered inhibitions...."

"Okay then.... so basically every time I went human, you're body took a hormone order of a large silly with a side of lust. Nice to know.... guess I won't be goin human around any more cats..... who's MangoJack anyways?"

"Oh... he's a nice guy who passed through not long before you did, but before that asshole came and took over. He was really nice, cute..... we hung out a bit..... he was going to go off on an adventure, and I couldn't leave the village at that time.... I really wanted to go with him...."

"Well... who knows. Maybe you'll meet him again. Anyways, if you're in heat.... how are you gonna handle it? Gilda went pretty bonkers there for a little while, but she seemed to be able to control herself with a bit of help."

"Well.... I have some help of my own." She reached into one of her pouches and pulled out a bag of leaves, rolled them in a piece of paper, lit it, and started to smoke it.

"What the.... catnip?"

"Yeah. Human smell gives the loopy and the horny, catnip gives the loopy, and then the calm. Can I have one of your feathers?"

"Umm.... okay?" I reached over with my beak and pulled out one of my secondaries, then gave it to her....... which she then proceeded to tickle herself with. And here I thought tickling yourself was impossible.

"Um... should you be smoking in the medical bay?"

"It's only you and me in here, who cares?"

"What if there's an emergency?"

"I already got all the potions made up, and the gear heads know what to do with em. Ooh!" She then began rolling around on the floor, batting at the feather to keep it in the air. All I could do at that point is raise an eyebrow at how ADORABLY kitten like she was acting... well.... until I got some of that smoke. Curse my half feline body.

What happened that night did NOT go any farther than cuddling. A bird cat cuddling a cat woman, with super soft feathers and fur. We pretty much spent hours high just petting each other and commenting on how soft the other was, or how good their claws felt scratching behind the ears, on along the spine, or that one little spot that's always there but you can NEVER get yourself. Also, griffins can apparently get high on catnip. It's a good thing Gilda didn't come in at that moment............... except that she did, and while the fumes were still hanging in the air at that.

Well, the next morning I woke up, no longer high on catnip, in my own room, with both Gilda AND Nadene in my bed, surprisingly Gilda between the two of us, one of us laying on each of her wings. Now, my memory of that night was a bit hazy, but I distinctly remember one scene of me laying next to Gilda, with Nadene atop the two of us like a pyramid. I have no clue who had sex with who, are even if it happened at all.

"Hey, Gilda, Nadene, wake up."

"Mrrrhhmmrhh." They both grumbled. So, I did the only thing TO do in this situation. Grab the sheets and pull them out from under them.

"Grif! What the hell!" Gilda yelled.

"I am seriously freaking out right now! Okay, so, I was in the hospital room, Nadene smoked catnip, it got ME high, you came in, got high too, we all snuggled for a while, and then you were laying on the two of us, and we somehow we wound up in my room. I'm really confused."

"Yeah... that about sums it up.... What's the big deal?"

"Did we have sex?!" I then turned to Nadene. "Did WE have sex? You you two have sex with each other?! I don't remember anything past the cuddling bit. We could have some MAJOR problems...."

"Ah, quit worrying about it. If we did we did, if we didn't we didn't...."

"And... you're not the least bit upset that I may have slept with Nadene........."

"One, you're fine with my history, I don't see why not. Two.... if you did, it was a threesome. With ME. It's totally okay. Just chill...."

"Eh.... grk... ugh...." Right.... I'm used to strictly monogamous relationships, and before coming here, I never even got a girl. Griffin and pony gender ratios are way skewed, d-dogs are the other way, dragons and cats I don't even know, although they seem about even from what I've seen.

"You're right.... I need to calm down...."

"No Grif.... you didn't sleep with me." Nadene finally got up from the floor by my yelling. "I've used catnip a lot in the past, and while it makes me loopy, it partially kills my drive. I don't know how it affects griffins, but I was lucid the entire time, and while the two of you did it, I kinda wanted in on it, but was content to just cuddle, especially since she was ready to gouge my eyes out if I interrupted. That stuff made you go a bit out of it, but it made her right bonkers in the sack. Is it a threesome if one just watches? Anyways after you were both exhausted, I cuddled up in bed with the two of you, and then we slept." Whew. That's a relief.

"Well... that's a bit less worrisome... although Gilda is still in heat. I don't know how likely it is, but I don't want any more risk of you getting pregnant, so I think it would be best if you only smoked catnip in a private place? Since I'm not allowed to run tests in the training room, and nobody else uses it, we could turn it into a smoking area........" At which point, Nadene glomped me.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you! It had really been forever since I last had a good smoke, and I tried to quit after I left the village.... but it's what I ALWAYS used to deal with the hormones. Having a place to smoke would make it a lot easier to cope, for me and all the other cats..... Still....."

"Still?"

"Are you THAT adverse to letting me join in some time?"

"Eh.... I... um.... don't know?"

"I'm okay with it." Gilda shrugged, then turned to look at me. "What? I am. You're okay with my history, and even my decision to go to Nadene or Trixie with my problem, and don't think I haven't seen how you tense up when you're around me. You're dying for it too. If you're really serious about not getting me pregnant, then you know what... erm... who, you need to do."

"What?"

"Either screw around with Nadene once in a while so she doesn't need the catnip, or risk getting high on it and screwing me, and getting me pregnant. We both know it wouldn't mean anything. It would just be..... a friend helping a friend...."

"Then what about you? You'd still be missing out."

"Well if you did it with Nadene, I wouldn't feel nearly so bad about it....."

"So wait, you're telling me to fuck Nadene to make it okay for you to do it?"

"Basically."

"Um....."

"Yes, I do know the only reason I was able to sleep with you that first time was by getting you drunk."

"You planned that?!?"

"Uh huh. If it helps, we can get you drunk again."

"And this time?"

"Uh.... I may have mentioned it to Nadene that getting you high might help. Then she told me that it kills her drive, but was willing to try anyways, seeing as you become a sex fiend when you're under the influence...." Those manipulative little...

"So.... you planned to get me high so I'd screw Nadene while I'm out of my mind, so that the three of us could relieve sexual tension..... and the first time around, you actually planned on me getting drunk so you could take advantage of me. Well..... you could have VERY easily hurt my feelings in regards to that. You know what else? You're right. You're BOTH right. As long as neither of you are hurt by it, Gilda knows I still belong to her, and Nadene knows I'm just helping her out as a friend, if it'll get you both off my back to the point of trying to drug me so I'll relax enough stop being a stick in the mud and screw around, fine. I will FUCK Nadene. And I will enjoy it, because she is an adorable little kitty, who is also SEXY AS HELL, and the only reason I haven't done this before was because I was worried how you'd feel about it, and I'm a social outcast who can't so much as talk to a girl coherently about how I feel about them without being drugged up! so, yeah, that makes it TOTALLY okay to get me drunk or high just so you can sleep with me and open the way for sober sex." How sarcastic was this explanation? Hmm.... to quote Obi Wan Kenobi.... 'It was as if a thousand scouters cried out in pain, and were suddenly silenced....'

"Grif...." Gilda started, but I cut her off with a death glare as I felt tears starting in the corners of my eyes.

"So SORRY for taking your feelings into account, because where I'm from, when someone sleeps with their partner's friend, it leads to the two of them hating each other, and they all wind up on the Maury show to find out whether or not the guy really IS the parent of the bastard child, and if he isn't, he never says another word to the girl, and if he is, he's stuck hating the kid because now he has to pay child support, and either way his partner hates him because he broke their trust, and the relationship breaks apart anyways, and then EVERYBODY HATES EACH OTHER!!!! Then the kid has to put up with parents who never stop yelling at each other, having a half brother out there somewhere that he's never even met, all because his father is a raging DRUNK who can't keep his dick in his pants long enough to think of where it'll lead him, or how someone else might feel!" I finished my rant, stormed out of the room, laid with my back against the hallway wall, and cried my fucking eyes out.

"Um.... Grif?"

"Go away!"

"Grif... seriously... you're scaring me."

"I said FUCK OFF!"

"And as Captain I ORDER YOU to tell me what the FUCK is wrong with you!" She said as she slapped me across the face. That snapped me out of it. I stopped crying, stopped curling up, stopped everything. That was when I turned around and punched her right in the beak, knocking her over onto her back while Nadene simply stood there, dumbfounded. I had never once struck any of my crew, but at this point, she waaaay deserved it.

"YOU ARE! Both of you! You were SO desperate for sex that you were willing to hurt me, just so you'd feel it was morally acceptable! I already told you I was fine with it, but no. You'd feel guilty, so you tried to make me do it first! You COMPLETELY DISREGARDED how I felt, and tried to take matters into your own hands. You KNOW how I felt about it, but you did it anyways."

"What the hell, it's just sex."

"Just.... sex? Oh, and I suppose you wouldn't be hurt at all if I decided I liked Nadene better, and started spending all my time with her, and then you'd feel like a third wheel. Or maybe I should just go sleeping around with all the other griffins on the ship like a complete scum bag and get them all pregnant. Or maybe I should just totally ignore you when you want it, but when you're not in the mood force myself on you. You're both acting like animals, so maybe I should TREAT you like animals. I don't want to see EITHER of you till you're off your estrus and can think like rational people again."

She stopped to think about what I was saying. What I had said. She turned to me with sad eyes and asked... "What did you mean.... when we were in the room....."

"What did I mean? Isn't it obvious? My dad was married to a woman, and they were happy, and they had a kid, and then my dad got drunk, met my mom at a bar, they slept together, and she had me. His wife found out he was cheating on her and had a child with another woman, and kicked him to the curb, just like she's SUPPOSED TO. They got a divorce, she got half his stuff, and he has to pay her alimony as well as child support. He didn't have anywhere else to go, so he moved in with the mistress so she could work to feed his alcoholism and take care of his OTHER child, me, whom he hates because the kid robbed him of his easy ride through life with his rich businesswoman ex wife, and landed him with someone who works as a grocery store cashier. And SHE hates me because she could have gone somewhere with her life, but had to give up all her dreams because she got pregnant. And they hate each other because they blame each other for not getting what they want out of life. Do you have any idea. Any idea at all? They were constantly fighting with each other, and even though it wasn't my fault, it was almost always BECAUSE of me, and when they weren't fighting with each other, they were yelling at me. I'm the reason they can't travel, why they can't afford nice things, why both their lives are ruined....."

"Grif..."

"I never asked for this. I never asked for any of it. I can't count how many times I wished I had never been born, because then the people around me wouldn't be unhappy. I know it wasn't my fault, but I was what? Five? Of course I blamed myself. And when I stopped blaming myself, I HATED them for letting me, and for them blaming me too. And do you know WHY all that happened? Because of a little 'harmless' sex. I don't care that we're different species and I probably can't get Nadene knocked up. In my mind, it's the same thing. I don't care that this world works differently, that guys have a whack of girls in a herd, or a flock, or whatever you want to call it. That's who THEY are. It's not who I am. Now.... go away. I told you once before that I love you, and because of that, I could forgive you for anything you did in your altered state of mind, but I CAN'T forgive you till you're OUT of that state of mind, and I don't want to see you till your estrus is over. You both really hurt me today. I'm not tired because I just woke up, but right now, I'd like nothing more than to just go back to sleep." I walked back into my room and laid on the bed, then channeled the air through my feathers to make a wind strong enough to close the door from where I was.

"We fucked up Gilda."

"I know.... let's... just let him be."

I reached into my desk drawer and pulled out a black velvet box. I opened the box to reveal a gold bracelet, with a glowing sun diamond set into it. It was engraved to say 'Gilda, The Light Of My Life' in that really fancy lettering, which was actually inscribed magically by a unicorn so whenever someone looked at the writing it would glow and become more visible. I closed the box containing the wedding band, and chucked it out my window into the ocean below.

"Just because I forgive..... doesn't mean I forget."

Man Up Ya Wee Lass! (94)

Man Up Ya Wee Lass!

It's been three days already, and they've both given me some time to myself. Steelhorn wasn't too happy to see me walking around, but I wasn't getting into any trouble, so he let that be. What he didn't let go was the fact that I was moping around. He grabbed me and dragged my ass down to HIS room, which rather than being a bedroom was more like a living room. Couches, tables, a minibar.... a minibar? He plunked me down on a stool, took up the bartender's job of idly cleaning a glass with a rag, looked me dead in the eye and said.....

"Ya look like someone shot yer pet. Bit fer yer troubles?" So, I wound up telling him. Everything. My whole past. What happened with Gilda. Everything. He just stayed quiet the whole time, listening. When I finally finished my story, he just looked at me and shook his head. He pointed right at me and poked me in the chest with his giant blue finger.

"Ah know EXACTLY what yer problem is."

"You... do?" At which point, he grabbed my head with his giant mitt, used it to clean the top of the bar, and set me back on my stool. I..... have no idea... he..... just used my head as a bar rag.

"When it comes ta anyone ya care about," He put his finger to my chest again. "YER A DOORMAT! Ya don't stand up fer yerself, tell anyone how ya feel, and ya got no initiative when it comes ta how ya feel. Ya bottle it up. You got more poison in yer system than I got behind this bar." He motioned behind him.

"The fact o the matter is, you're a whiny little kid who's pretendin ta be a man, and ya don't know anythin about anythin. Ya, true, yer upbringin was crap, but what was ta stop ya from learnin for yerself? Once ya weren't a kid no more, the only person ta blame for yer life is YOU." He enunciated by poking me again.

"You let yerself get stepped on, because ya were too scared ta stand up for yerself. Yer such a stick in tha mud that the only way a girl can get ya ta loosen up and stop being such a wee lassie was ta get ya drunk so y'ad ferget yerself. Alright, given the way she went about it was wrong, but can ya argue with tha results? If she hadn'ta done that, things woulda jus stayed tha same. And ya ferget, she was a slave ya know. She had ta raise HERself, and ya don't see her whinin about it. She don't know bout relationships neither, cuz she never had one proper. She loves ya damnit, she's just as bad at showin it as you are. So she got a ya a wee bit drunk so ya'd stop bein such a pansy, and ya flew off tha handle."

"She broke my trust....."

"Which was easy since ya didn't trust 'er with nuthin. Sure, ya made her tha cap'n, but ya never told her nuthin. Ya just kept it in there and blew up at her. Ya let her walk inta unfamiliar territory, and she stepped on a landmine. If ya know there's a minefield, do ya let yer loved ones walk inta it?"

"No....."

"Then what's tha difference between that and the battlefield a love?" I stayed silent. He was right. Sure, we have different positions on something, and I told her my position, but I never enforced it, and never told her the reason behind it. So, she tried to push the envelope, and had no idea how far she was pushing.

"Remember, she was an escaped slave. She lived a year o pain in the mines, escaped, raised herself, and she turned out alright. You got no excuse for bein such a shoddy lil lass. Be a man, quit hidin. Ya told me yer entire life, but I ain't tha one that needs ta hear it. She's yer lass, and you ain't told er nuthin....."

"Steelhorn....... I'm a moron." He's right. He's totally right. I am SUCH an idiot! I can't believe I flipped at them. Sure, they messed up, but it's my damn fault for being so stupid. I held it all back and didn't tell them anything, just kept it all to myself. No more secrets.

"Ya, but at least now ya know. Ya gave em some harsh words, and they may a hurt ya, but ya hurt them a load more with yer stupidity. And...... one more thing. Yer in this world now lad. Time ta get with the program. Yer gonna have ta deal with havin a load of lasses gunnin fer ya, and ya can't shoot em ALL down. Set yer standard. Tell em what it is, and don't let em push beyond it."

"You're right.... and I'd go fine them, but I already told them to screw off, so I don't think they'll be too happy if I called em to me so soon....."

"I ain't gonna do it for ya. This is yer hole ya dug yerself inta, and yer gonna get yerself outta it."

"Yeah.... this is gonna be a tough pill to swallow. I'll go find em...."

"Gilda and Nadene to room 307. Gilda and Nadene to room 307."

I was laying on a large pillow in the room, by the far wall from the door, when the two of them walked in. Their look was blank when they gazed at me, a look I know all too well. 'They killed their emotions, which means they're trying to stay calm. Better get this done and over with.....'

"Alright. Now that we're all here.... let's get this over with. Gilda. I'm sorry. You were doing what you thought was right to get me to open up, and I snapped at you, all because I'm too much of a pansy to open up and tell you about my past, and I let you walk onto an emotional landmine. Nadene, I'm sorry I snapped at you too. I know your attraction it purely physical, and what you did was wrong, but I over reacted. And.... I know I said I didn't want to see you till your estrus was over, but this is something that cannot wait. It's time."

"You mean....."

"I am going to tell you both, EVERYTHING. I am going to unload so much emotional crap on you. I'm going to give you everything. And then you're both going to do the same to me. Gilda, I want to hear about your time as a slave, in the mines, and then living on your own. All of it. Nadene, whatever you've got on your chest that you want to get rid of, now is the time. The fact is, I care about you both, and you may have hurt me, but I didn't give you any warning that you were going to. All I did is tell you my stance, and when you tried to change my mind, I snapped. Gilda, you had your everything taken away from you when you got caught, and I know I'd feel terrible if I did something that hurt you because of your past, even if I didn't know about it. So..... here we go........."

"At least your parents loved you!" I screamed.

"Well at least you HAD parents!" She replied with just as much volume.

"Some parents! I'd rather be an orphan!" I retorted.

"My mother is DEAD!" Nadene added.

"At least you know where yours is!" Gilda reamed.

"I'd rather not know and at least have hope of finding her!" The cat shot back.

"And then find out all your hope was for nothing?" Gilda sneered.

"It is NOT for nothing you bitch! We could find them any day now!" I threw in.

"You know that's bullshit and so do I."

"Is not!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

After nearly three hours of telling each other of our pasts, we started yelling at each other in argument, followed by the three of us diving at each other. We started bashing with fist, wing, and feet. We were a mass of thrashing limbs as we rolled around on the floor of the room, hissing, screeching, and yelling at each other, till we finally collapsed on the floor, all of us tied in a knot, exhausted.

"Alright kiddos.... that was goood. We'll have one a these er'ry day till ya kin git over yerselves. I think ya made sum real progress. Gilda stopped bein such an insensitive bitch, Grif stopped bein such a whiny lil lad, and Nadene..... well, I, I dunn even know, do ya feel better?" Despite claiming that he wouldn't be helping, Steelhorn had taken the role of mediator for us.... for a pay raise of course.

"Now that yer all done huffin an puffin, can't let ya just leave like that, so now yer all gonna give each otha a hug, say yer sorry, an be done with it. After that, ya go yer separate ways for the rest of tha two weeks so ya can get sum space."

"Sorry Gilda.... I should have been more sensitive to your needs."

"Sorry Grif... I shouldn't have been so pushy."

"Sorry Nadene.... I should have let you known how I feel.."

"Sorry Grif, I shouldn't have tried to get you out of your comfort zone before you were ready."

"There. Yer all solved now. Ya know Grif is a one lass lad, and ya know why, an maybe he'll be more open ta it later, but that'll be when he's ready, and ain't before. Gilda don't gotta worry about feelin morally objectionable, just cuz Grif don't have any vice like smokin er drinkin er sex don't mean yoo can't."

We all got together in a great big hug, then went our separate ways, well.... except that Gilda stopped me in the hall once we were out of sight.

"Yeah? You know we're not supposed to be seeing each other right now right?"

"I know... it's just.... well.... after.... you said those things..... I went to the top deck to think... and... I saw something falling..... so I...." She pulled out the black velvet box I had thrown away. Son of a.... she saw me toss it and went after it..

"Gilda I...."

"I know.... but, if this happened, then maybe we don't know each other well enough yet for that... but instead of tossing it.... just hold onto it okay? Maybe not now, maybe not ever, but.....then again, maybe one day."

"And before that day...... no more secrets okay? If we're going to be together, we can't hold things back from each other. If there's ever something you want to know, just ask."

"Ha..... looka me, Steelhorn, marriage counselor....... Brooke.... Ah miss ya.... I know you ain't hadda choice, but why ya hafta die? I did all ah could, ta get money for yer operation.... but... it wasn't enuf... I once told ya I'd show ya tha world, but only after ya passed could ah get ta workin on makin yer dream come true. It became mah lifes work, cuz even if ya can't see it fer yerself, I can see it for ya. I built it fer yoo. Are ya watchin me? Are ya proud? Savin a pair oh young loves..... ya always were a romantic....." A single tear fell from the eye of the manly blue minotaur as he gently brushed the face of a photo with his giant hands. He swore he could almost feel her hide, with it's earthen hue and texture from working the gardens. He pulled off his steel horn, which was actually a flask, and took a drink of the sweet honey mead contained within before sealing it and snapping it back on.

"Ah..... tastes like home......."

=Gilda=

"So.... where to now?"

"Well.... there was that battlefield.... although I don't really think we're ready to take that on yet. We've got a whole slew of rescued slaves, as well as a load of gems and such we gotta sell off. I'm glad we've got the rest stop in Marble Pillars, but they're not quite set up to to trading and passenger shipping, so we'll have to haul this next bunch to Signal ourselves. Once we can get our new friends set up with a fleet of airships, we won't have to worry about it anymore."

"Well, there IS a celebration in Signal in a week and a half." Surprise added. A week and a half? That's.... really close. Nah. Couldn't be.

"When is it?"

"It's October 13th. They're having a Friday the Thirteenth party, and they want us to be there! They sent us party invitations and everything!" That HAS to be a coincidence.

"Well........ we do need to stop over there anyways....... alright. We'll head to Ponyville and drop our load at Silver's, then make way for the island. Set sail!"

Hello Everypony (95)

Hello Everypony

=Griffin=

"So, finally back to Ponyville. Steelhorn is going to go deal with Silver and get us our paycheck, a bunch of ponies are getting dropped off, we'll be here for a day or two, might as well relax for a bit."

I went human and had Gilda fly me down. We were still on our 'separation', but we both had something to do in town, show she brought me down. I didn't pry as to what she was doing. Walking through town, I took in the peaceful surroundings. Foals at play, pegasi flitting through the clouds, ponies setting up their market stalls, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon being bitches. Again. Seriously, leave the crusaders alone.

"Hello again!"

"Griffin!" The four ran to me to say hi.

"Yeah yeah ya little scamps, those two ain't givin ya trouble now are they? Especially after last time" I grinned darkly.

"Hmph, we're not afraid of you. There's nothing you can do to.... what happened to your wing?" They said, eyes opening in shock.

"A dragon ate it." I deadpanned.

"Did it hurt?" Scootaloo asked nervously, buzzing her own wings occasionally.

"Incredibly. Got ripped right off. She ate it, bones and all. Said it tastes like chicken."

"But.... you can't fly anymore.... how are you gonna keep it up?"

"I'll be getting a replacement in a week. I'm gonna be a cyborg. Like from science fiction."

"Coooooool." The prissy pants parade didn't have anything to say to that, so they just left.

"Anyways, what are you up to?"

"Oh crap! We're gonna be late! Dad said I could have Applebloom and Sweetie Bell over for a sleepover!" Did...... did Scootaloo just say crap? Did Scootaloo just say dad?

"Buh..." I quickly recovered. "I mean, but, it's first thing in the morning...."

"Well yeah, we're gonna spend all day setting it up! It's gonna be the best sleepover party ever! Gonna run!" And then the three of them zoomed off to parts unknown. I..... I don't even know. I think I'll just go find somewhere to chill out. Finding a restaurant to get some breakfast, I ate quickly before finding my way to the park and laying on the bench, my wingless side to the back rest so it wouldn't get in the way. I might have dozed off for a bit before I heard a voice.

"Um.... are you Griffin?" I opened my eyes and turned to see a pony with a pen and note pad, as well as a cricket on her shoulder. 'Journalist....... well, it's about time.'

"Yeah, I am."

"Hi.... my name is Puppy Love, and this is Dave..." She motioned to the cricket. "Do you mind if I interview you?"

"Yeah, sure. I've been dodging the press long enough. Might as well get the full story out there."

=Gilda=

I flew down into the little town which, I'll admit, isn't actually so bad once you get used to it. Grif went off to do whatever while Steelhorn does his thing. The rest of the crew didn't bother, as they all had stuff to do. Me.... I need to go have a talk with a certain six ponies. I need advice, and since Grif seems to think they know what they're doing, well, well enough, it might as well be them. I knocked on the library door, which of course was kind of stupid since it's a public library, but all the same, courtesy. I knocked anyways, then entered, the purple one was busy putting away books. She turned and when she saw me, was a little bit startled.

"Oh.... Gilda.... um...... nice? of you to drop by. Can I help you with something?"

"Actually...... yeah. Can you get your friends to come over.... there's something I need to talk about, and for whatever reason, Griffin trusts you, so I figured you might be able to give me a bit of advice."

"Um... alright then, just.... wait here. I'll go get the girls." And just like that, she was out the door. Maybe a half hour passed which consisted of me idly poking at books, trying to find one I was interested it. That attempt failed miserably, as nothing in that tree caught my eye. All I had succeeded in doing was putting several books in the wrong places. All six of them trotted in, and Twilight brought out a table and some chairs for us to sit at. Everyone cautiously took their seats, especially the yellow one, Fluttershy. She seriously needs to buck up, but, I guess she's alright in her own way.

"So.... Gilda... what do you want to talk about?" Twilight asked.

"Well..... here's the thing... see..... can you send the dragon somewhere else..... no offense, but this is kind of an adult conversation...."

"Don't have to ask me twice. If you're all gonna talk about mushy romance stuff, I'll just go hang out with Snips and Snails." He couldn't bail out fast enough. I was thankful for that.

"Okay, so, here goes. I've been in heat for the past two weeks, and, I did something I shouldn't have." So, I explained it to them. How I would have felt guilty, what I tried tricking him into doing, for my sake and Nadene's, without really thinking about how he felt, and how just like that, he'd forgiven me, so long as we gave him his space for the next while.

"Well..... we all get a little crazy now and then, and what you did was wrong, but you're not yourself. He understands that, so he won't hold it over you." The prissy one, Rarity explained. "He must really love you to be able to just let something like that go. I mean, I know it's normal here, but something like that goes against who he is. For him to just let it go...."

"Understatement of the century there. He bought a ring. A wedding ring. He almost threw it out after what I did." He did throw it out, I just got it back. "But, in the end, he kept it and said 'maybe later'. Can you believe it? Marriage! I know it won't be for a while yet, but he's clearly thinking about asking me to marry him!"

"Well.... I don't see a problem with it.... if you're both happy..." Fluttershy spoke up.

"Well...... there's the other thing. When he got high on the catnip, we did it, while I was in heat........"

"I don't get it...." Dash tilted her head to the side.

"It means....." I was about to explain.

"YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!" Aaaaaaand there's Pinkie Pie.

"Well... not exactly. It's not for sure, but there's a good chance. Like, a really good chance."

"I'm not sure what you want us to do about it....." The farmer, Applejack said.

"Well.... I don't know whether or not I'm pregnant, and I figured since miss purp... I mean, Twilight is so smart and good with magic and whatnot, she could find out."

"Well. that's simple enough. Go lay on the couch."

I did as she asked, laying belly up on her couch as she slowly ran her horn above my stomach as it softly glowed. A couple minutes passed and a small spot on me began glowing as well. I don't like the look of it.

"Well.... that's that. I don't know whether to say sorry or congratulations, you're going to be a mother."

"Are... .are you sure?"

"This is a spell that detects impurities. Basically, anything that isn't 'you' starts glowing. Unless it's a tumor or a piece of metal lodged in there....."

"No...... I can't be..."

"Well, you are."

"Don't you get it? I can't be a parent! Listen, when I first came to Ponyville, what did I do? You all remember, don't you? I am mean. I am petty. Let's face it, I'm a bitch! I'll be a terrible mother! And Grif.... oh, geez, Grif..... How is he gonna raise a kid properly when he wasn't raised right himself? Half the time, he still acts like he's a kid himself. And then, our mission! If I'm pregnant, and then taking care of a kid, how am I supposed to fight? How can we take care of a kid if we do fight? How do you raise a child on a ship, always on the move? Or, do we leave our child behind with someone else while we go take on the world? Or do we put em up for adoption... just because we can't be bothered? Or...... do I...... I know there are doctors who...." Suddenly, I felt a hoof on either side of my head, and two giant, stern blue eyes set in a yellow head, and framed by a pink mane, were glaring right into my own.

"You are NOT getting an abortion. You hear me!" I couldn't look away. "You're carrying an innocent child, and you are not going to do something so despicable just because it would make life hard." Of course, she'd have a strong position on this. "I don't care if you kill dragons that are trying to eat ponies... or griffins, or diamond dogs, or if you get rid of slavers that make ponies miserable, but an unborn baby! Say it! Say you won't!"

"I...I....I won't." I had no choice. That shy little mare suddenly put forth a will so powerful, so dominating, I literally couldn't do anything but agree with her. It's like she was crushing my soul using her own. Is... is this 'The Stare' Grif was talking about?

"I won't.... but, still, I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

"Well darling, first thing you need to do is tell him." Rarity pointed out.

"I know, but, I can't. Not yet. I.... I can't yet. I'm not ready to tell him. What if he gets angry? What if he leaves?"

"Gilda, come on. We both know him." Dash started. "He doesn't run away from anything. And he's not gonna get mad either."

"Except that the reason I'm......... pregnant..... it's because I made a mistake. He didn't want this. I forced it on him, and now I'll be forcing parenthood on him too. I can't do that..... If he were to just walk away, he'd have every right to."

"Which is why when you tell him..... you should be among friends. Break it to him easy, give him room to breathe, and don't push for him to make a decision. Let him make up his own mind." Where the hell did the little shy one get so smart? It's like she's been through this, or maybe because she's the 'element of kindness' she's an empath and can understand what people are going through without going through it herself.... Nope, not gonna think about it. Don't wanna make a 'sub-plot' as Grif would call it. And now I think my life is a story. After reading Griffin's journal, I'm as crazy as he is. Maybe that's a good thing.

"I know I can't tell him yet, not so soon after what happened..... I'll give it a couple months, till I'm ready, then tell him."

=Griffin=

"So, that's about it. Anything else?"

"No, I think that's good. Thank you for your time." Puppy Love started to walk away. I have to say, she's one of the few, SANE ponies in this world, and she has a talking cricket ride her around.

"Oh, hey, wait."

"Hmm?" She turned back to look at me.

"Of all those 'humans' out there that you've found, have you ever actually seen what a human looks like?"

"Well, no...."

"Then how do you know it's real, and that we're not just crazy?"

"There's way too many for it to be an isolated incident, and for so many to show up with the SAME craziness, it's too convenient. Still, I don't actually have any solid PROOF, just a theory without any holes in it...."

"What if I told you I could give you that proof?"

"Oh? How?"

"Well, by turning human."

"You can do that?"

"Yeah. Watch." I removed my amulet, said the magic words, and felt my body change. I stood tall and cracked my back, then sighed in relief. "Well? You gonna get a picture or what?"

"Oh! Right! Okay, let me just set up the equipment...." After a time, which I assume she spent setting up a camera, I felt something under my right hand. "Okay so, just put your hand on my head so everypony can see how tall you really are, and I'll set off the camera from here. I'm in the photo so they'll be able to tell it's real." I lifted my hand up and put it on top of her head, ruffling her mane slightly as I heard a click. "Alright. Done. Thanks again."

"No problem."

"Um... if you don't mind me asking.... why are you wearing sunglasses?" She asked.

"Well.... that would be..." I looked to where I thought she was. "because I have no eyes." I removed my glasses to let her see the empty sockets. I could practically feel her shudder before I put them back on.

"Okay, creepiness aside, that's good. Certifiable proof of aliens in Equestria! I'm gonna be famous! I mean, you already told the princesses, and a bunch of other ponies, but I'm the first one to actually get a picture of a human!" She made a sound which I believe to be clapping her hooves together. I decided that I was tired of having to guess what was going on, so I turned back into a griffin, my vision coming back just in time for me to notice Diamond Tiara looking at me. She saw me transform. She merely stood there with her jaw hanging down.

"Standing there with your mouth open is unbecoming of a lady." I walked over and poked her on the forehead, which caused her to fall off her hooves onto her side, the aforementioned limbs sticking out rigidly.

"Aaaaaand she's gone. Might want to get her home... or something."

"Yeah.... by the way... your hands are.... really nice..... They feel good.... in the mane..."

"Okay then? I'm just gonna go now. See ya around.... maybe..." And then I laid back down on the bench.

=Gilda=

"Wait.... he does seapony style? Like, all the time?" Dash said with her eyes wide. I'm not sure how, but the conversation had inevitably turned to bedroom practices.

"Oh...... my....." Fluttershy blushed heavily.

"Well, apparently that's the way they NORMALLY do it." I explained. "Face to face, feeling his warm breath on me, oh, and then when he turns human and uses his hands........ ARG! If all the humans here took their true forms, spa ponies everywhere would go out of business! And then he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me with his hands, and THEN he runs his hands through my feathers, letting his fingers separate them and push the skin underneath ever so gently, all along the entire wing, top and bottom, and buries his face is my neck feathers ans kisses all along while nuzzling. When he changes form.... he's like a really big teddy bear that gives sensual massage. His skin is so smooth too..... I just want to hug the life out of him and never let him go, and that's all BEFORE the sex."

"Well, if it's like THAT, I can hardly blame you for doing what you did. He ought to know better than to cut you off entirely."

"And then I gently run my claws all over his arm, which makes him shudder. Apparently, it's really tingly, and then I run em through his hair, and then down his side as I slip his pants off...."

"He wears CLOTHES?!?!?"

"Yeah, humans wear clothing all the time. Their society actually has a nudity taboo. And in some places, it's actually illegal."

"Doesn't he know that wearing pants is... you know....."

"No, he hasn't got a clue! He's got no idea that pants are considered 'bedroom wear'. When we're done and he gets dressed before changing back.... he dresses in layers."

"Oh...... my..." Applejack was blushing now.

"And then he does this thing with his tongue........" Dash, who was flying at the time, had her wings lock straight out, causing her to fall to the floor with a crash.

"He uses his tongue?!" She exclaimed.

"Hi girls, I'm back." Spike picked that moment to walk back into the library, carrying a number of cupcakes. "What'd I miss?"

"Oh... nothing.... just girl talk..." I said nonchalantly.

"Then why are Rainbow's wings 'standing at attention?" Everyone looked at him in shock.

"What? It was in that anatomy book you showed me Twilight. 'Spike, you're getting older, and I'm sure you'll soon start feeling things, so I got you this book to explain, blah blah blah.' Yes, I did read it. 'In pegasi, during times of arousal of any nature, including but not limited to excitement, fear, anger, or sexual tension, the wings spread wide. This has many different functions, depending on the nature of the arousal. For excitement, it is to act quickly, for fear, it is to escape, in anger, to make the pegasus appear larger and more intimidating, and in terms of sexual tension, it provides balance during coitus, while at the same time making the sensitive nerves normally used for flight available, which can be manipulated by skilled hooves to cause relaxation.' He quoted. "She doesn't look upset, excited, or afraid, so there's really only one explanation. You had me leave so you could talk about your love lives. Not that I'd WANT to stick around and listen to all that mushy stuff instead of, say, eating cupcakes........so, want any?"

The looks on their faces when they heard the so called 'baby' dragon talking so nonchalantly about something they all blush about, even in privacy... was priceless.

"Hey Gilda. About ready to go?" Grif soon followed, his usual, wingless self. The pegasi in the room, upon seeing his left side void of something that should be there, immediately snapped their wings to their sides, imagining themselves in the same situation.

"Just about. Still got a while before we have to go."

"We could always have tea..." Rarity suggested.

"Sure, I could go for a cup. Just a sec...." And, right in front of the ponies, he turned human again. "Chairs are so uncomfortable as a griffin." He said as he felt around, grabbed a chair, and sat on it. All but Twilight and myself were wide eyed. "Oh, right, I forgot, most of you haven't seen me like this yet. This is what I used to look like, well, mostly." I could see the looks in their eyes, the confusion, the wonder, the amazement. Well actually, no I couldn't, but I'm sure I could imagine.

"Aaaaand, suddenly everything is quiet. I'm blind now ya know, so I can't see the looks on your faces."

"Gilda.... why is Griffin missing his wing.... and his eyes?" Twilight asked.

"Well, I think he can explain that better than you can, since he was there." He let out a sigh, then began.

"Ember. You remember Ember right? From the Grand Galloping Gala? The black dragon that beat Luna into the dirt. Well..... I ran into her. As it turns out, she's actually crazy, and needed my help to get her 'un-crazy'. I had two options. Go in there and kill her, or try and knock some sense into her. I picked the second one. In the middle of fixing her head, she grabbed my wing, ripped it off, and ate it, feathers, bones and all. She said it tasted like chicken. I had to turn human to escape, and I got away, but she got my eyes."

Pretty much everyone was silent after that. Nobody wanted to think about what had happened to him a mere two weeks ago, something he was now apparently.... totally okay with?

"What's it like.... transforming?" Twilight asked.

"It's... odd. Kind of like growing in high speed. What's more awkward though is the changes you go through between forms. For example, I'm 21 now, and full grown. I've already been through puberty. But griffins have a longer life span and reach maturity later. Turning into a griffin, I'm fully grown at 20, but that's when puberty starts, but instead of growing, the feathers change colour...... so basically, I have to go through being a hormone crazed teenager AGAIN..... which, not surprisingly, accounts for my immaturity and mood swings. I knew something was off, but I only realized what it was when I changed back and forth so many times I was able to figure it out. I'm much more mellow, and reasonable, when I'm in this form, and I think it helps me think more clearly."

"You know, I'd like to run some tests......" The librarian began.

"Nope. You know the deal. Until you figure out how the heck hooves work for holding things and can explain it in a manner I understand, I'm not giving you any of my notes on magic or letting you do any tests on me." She pouted angrily.

"So.... if you're missing a wing, how are you gonna fly?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I have a genius doctor and robotics engineer on board. Next time you see me, I'll be part robot."

"I'd LOVE to see how that works...." Twilight got a certain gleam in her eye......

"Well Grif, it's time to go. Schedule to keep and all. Let's get out of here before she dissects you." With that, I threw him on my back and took off towards the ship. Spending some time with just some girls was nice, and it was good to catch up with Rainbow, but they're still ponies. So innocent and naive, annoyingly so, to the point that they think their way of life is the only way. And Pinkie Pie..... Pinkie Pie........

Dear Princess Celestia,

Do you know how to regrow body parts? I've misplaced a few of mine.

Sincerely Griffin

Puppy Love is a cross with 'Puppy Love's Chess Game' by Nathan Traveler. If the chapter with Griffin's interview isn't out yet, it will be soon, and when it is, I'll update this chapter with the link.

__________________________________________________________

The chapter is out now, here's the link.

Welcome To The World (96)

Welcome To The World

Crossover with 'A Broken Peace' Give it lots of views so SeverFour gets off his rear and starts updating it more often.

I woke up feeling pretty grungy. Spending the past month in the hospital was killer, and even though I was able to get out a bit early, I still spent most of my time in a bed, which ended up with me being antsy constantly. That, and my fantastic muscle tone had started to waste away from the lack of exercise. I also had a thin layer of fat above the muscle, just under the skin, which was welcome when we were up north because it kept me warm, but I was looking forward to losing it. Signal would be a perfect opportunity to do that. A nice safe place for some R&R, yet at the same time, they're be plenty to do with all the new people coming to live there. That, and with the higher population, pretty soon we'd have to start the next settlement.

Gilda, Nadene and I had spent the past week and a half doing our duties, her commanding the ship, me getting better, and experimenting with that spell combination I knew would work, but just couldn't get it to. We went to our group therapy sessions, Trixie joining in as well. She told us all about life on the road, how even though she came from a loving family, there was always so much pressure to succeed, always to be the best, and when she couldn't measure up, it ended with her exaggerating her feats. We were all very supportive, and with Surprise, the morale officer, taking over as the counselor so Steelhorn could do his job at the forge, it was decided that we would have group sessions for anyone who needed it. After all, our mental health was just as important as the physical, and as of yet, we hadn't come up with any coping method for dealing with all the horrors we were subjected to.

Also...... WINGS! Geirmund finally finished mine! Wantwantwantwantwant. I haven't flown in a month, other than on griffin back that one time with Gilda. I need this. I really really need this.

"Come on!"

"You've waited a month, you can wait a couple more minutes." Geirmund said with his usual accent.

"No I can't!"

"Ah.... fine. Tada!" He unveiled the gleaming steel limb, with gemstones inset all along the leading edge, and an armored plate to protect the joint. It had thin steel forms for feathers, with rubber tips so they wouldn't be sharp. Since it was heavy and it would be hard to support on it's own, there was a steel back plate which would then wrap around the base of the other wing to keep it steady.

"Well, hook me up already!"

They strapped it on, and given the way Trixie reacted hen she had hers put on, I winced in anticipation of the incoming pain....... which never happened. I felt a small pinch, and a bit of blood running away, but then it was fine.

"Wha..."

"Local anesthetic. Lasts about five minutes. The wing does the surgery for the nerves after applying it. No point in having any more pain than you need. You should still be able to move it though."

I stretched it open and closed a couple times, and found that I could in fact move it.

"It moves a little after I tell it to...."

"Zen ze ratios must be off. It'll take a moment to tinker vith it..." He brought out a micro screw driver set from within his wings and began the delicate operation of twisting the various springs inside to tighten them, not too much that they'd break, but not so little that they'd unwind or there'd be latency. As he poked around.... well...

"Hey...grkk...ta..... hahahaha! Quit it! Ah..... sssssss..... BAHAAHAHAH!" It tickled. A lot.

"Zere we go.... now, try again." I spread it open and closed a couple more times, and this time around it did exactly as it was supposed to. "Now, open it all ze way, Time to test ze reflexes." I did as he asked, and he began tapping along various parts, asking me how it felt. Whenever he touched it and removed his hoof, I would feel the sensation of the hoof long after he removed it.

"Hmm... nerve feedback loop. Ze wing sinks it is being touched ven it is not. Hmm......" He opened a small compartment and began feeling around inside with his tools, there was a snap, and then he backed off and tried it again.

"Much better. Thank you."

"If zere is any trouble, you know vere to find me. Ze wing is water proof, so you vill not need to remove it for anyzing, alzough, you may vant to ven you go to sleep, but zat is all personal preference."

A couple more days passed before we reached Signal, and I spent some time flying around, getting used to my new wing. It was heavier than my flesh and blood wing, so I had to work that side a bit harder to fly straight, but with the attachment to the other wing, providing some resistance to it, I'd have to work it harder as well, so all in all it evened out.

The time came that we reached the island. I tried sleeping with my wing on, and, well, it was uncomfortable, so I didn't really get that good of a sleep. This meant that I still had to get up early, despite being tired.

'May as well grab a cup of coffee to wake up.'

Walking down to the mess hall and to the brewer, I poured myself a hot cup of Joe, then took a seat so I could drink in peace. That's when I I noticed a little something on the edge of my mug. An eight legged something, slowly walking around the rim to the near side. I set the cup down and backed away from it in the typical 'do not want' manner and watched as the arachnid turned to face me. Then, I heard a voice that reminded me of the butterfly from 'The Emperor's New Groove' right before it got munched. You know, 'Help me! Heeeeeelp me! Mrarararhhmm.'

"Beware! I am the destroyer of worlds and the defiler of virgins. All shall bow before me, for I am, THE SPIDER! Fear me!"

I promptly blew on the edge, sending the spider falling into the scalding drink, which made it emit tiny screams. I then dumped the entire thing down the drain.

"Where I fail, others will succeed! You have been warned! Blaarabbwubbaburg...." And then it drowned.

'If spiders are coming in the coffee beans, I don't want any. Sure, call me paranoid, but when you go to take a drink, swallow a spider, get bitten, and your throat swells up and you suffocate to death, then who are you going to call crazy? Not me, because you'll be dead! Ha! Hehehahaha! I do believe being in the hospital for the past month has made me stir crazy. I'm going to have to bring this up at therapy.......'

After that little incident, Surprise came by and told me that everything should be ready for tonight, although I should probably go around and quadruple check with everybody.

Once we had arrived at the island, I decided to head down and take a shower in one of the many booths that had been set up. Grabbing a stray cloud, I flew into the 8 by 8 wooden box and plopped the cloud down on top of it, covering it. I want to be nice and clean for Gilda's birthday party. Last time around we hadn't known each other that long, as we hadn't told each other, so I'm going to make THIS one the best party ever. I checked the temperature my sticking my hand inside it. Nice and warm, perfect. I gave the fluffy nimbus a quick jab, sending a downpour of warm water to soak me thoroughly, washing all the filth and grime out of those hard to reach spots. I lathered up some pineapple scented soap, scrubbing my feathers and preening out the loose ones at the same time, then punished the cloud again, emptying it of its contents, rising me off. With the shower out of the way I exited the booth. Feeling the slight ocean breeze, I used a claw to flip a dripping wet feather out of my field of vision.

'I wonder..... is wet feather hot like wet mane is? I've never seen Gilda soaking wet, since she mostly takes cloud baths.'

Flaring both my real and replacement wing, I shook myself vigorously to remove most of the water from my feathers and coat. After being dried, they fluffed slightly, and I was left feeling cleaner than I had in months. Combine that with the slight sheen my feathers and fur.... or is it a coat? Whatever, combine that with the slight sheen and softness they got from eating large number of eggs over the past month for protein, since we were running low on meat, I felt positively radiant. With a spring in my step, I headed down to the beach to sun myself all the way dry.

"This looks like a good spot." I laid down on the warm white sand of the beach on my back, letting the sun dry the last bit of moisture off my underside, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of the soft grains caressing my body. The sand, the sun, the ocean waves, combined with the fact that even though my arachnid incident woke me up, I was still exhausted, and it was all so... soothing, that I soon drifted off to sleep.

Awaking from my nap slowly, I rolled onto my feet and arched my back and wings to stretch, savoring the feeling of my joints popping. The warm sun, sand, and breeze had left me in a kind of bliss as I walked down the beach, feeling more relaxed than I had ever been. 'Must have nodded off.... how long was I asleep?' I checked the time piece built into my wing. 'An hour? That's it? I feel more rested than a whole night.'

Still feeling the bliss of a nice catnap, (hey, I'm part feline alright?) I groggily closed my eyes again for just a moment as I walked up the beach, but opened them when I bumped into something. Before me, sitting on the sand, was a zebra. He, (and I say he by the shape of the jaw) was a bit bigger than an average pony, had blue eyes, a massive scar running the length of his back, a notch cut out of his ear, and a cutiemark/tattoo/whatever zebras have of a spider in a kind of spiky wheel. Maybe he's a spider killer?

Next to him, and a little behind, was a griffin covered in scars, with the far half of one of her wings, one of her rear legs, and her tail missing, all replaced by some shoddy looking prosthetics which sparked occasionally. Both were staring at me in what I believe to be awe, considering that their jaws had dropped.

"Oh... sorry." I said smoothly, still feeling quite good after my shower and sunbath. "Say..... I haven't seen you around before. You new here?" I smiled. I figure I should try being nicer to people, as being an ass is what landed me in the hospital in the first place, something I'm not looking forward to repeating. That, and my time in the group therapy sessions had left me a lot more considerate to others.

The zebra blinked and lifted his jaw up with a hoof. "I'm Iv- iv- ivan...." He stuttered. He honestly looked like a lost puppy, with the shyness of Fluttershy. Judging from the fact that he looked like he had been through a blender, I'd say he's either spent a LOT of time running away from fights and barely making it, or his equally chopped up friend gave him all those, in which case he was in an abusive relationship. Why not leave? Because she'll probably kill him.

"And you?" My gaze passed to his griffin companion. Her parts sparked again and she winced in a way that would be unnoticeable to most, but with my enhanced vision I could tell. She was putting on a brave face. She took out a bag of seeds, ate a couple, then took a deep breath. "Catastrophe." She smiled warmly. Okay.... so.... now I'm confused again. She's acting nice enough. Does that discredit the second theory, or is she just a good liar?

"Cool. I'm Grif." I waved an arm in a bow. "Welcome to my island. Hope you enjoy your stay. I'm gonna go work out for a bit. I've been in the hospital this past month, and I need to get back in shape." They both gawked at me like I was incredible or something.

"This..... is your island?" She asked, looking at Ivan and then back at to me. "Working out? Mind if we come?"

"Um... sure. I mean, you can go wherever you want really...." Is it odd that they want to watch me work out? Oh no.... please don't tell me I'm a beach muscle head! I don't want to be Shining Armor! I turned and walked towards the jungle. There's some fruit trees in there I can use for exercise, Applejack style. My tail flicked idly as I walked and whistled a merry tune, not flying as losing the zebra wouldn't be the nicest thing to do. The pair followed me, whispering something that I really didn't care enough about to listen in on. Maybe it's because I'm technically a celebrity, and they're fans or something? I know I didn't rescue them, I would have remembered a couple as odd as this.

"Well, here we are." I stopped at a grove of palm trees, with some pineapple trees not too far off. Again. Pineapples don't grow on trees, but apparently, they do here. I turned to the nearest tree, balled up my fist, and struck the trunk. The tree shook, but no results. I frowned. "Well..... that's no good....." Taking a stance in front of the tree, I took a deep breath, held it, wound my arm back, and struck the tree with as much force as I could while releasing a shout. Three coconuts dropped to the base. "That's more like it."

Using my claws to poke holes in the hard shelled fruit, I passed one to each of them. "Be right back." I flared my wings and with a powerful flap, took off towards the pineapples nearby, grabbed a couple and came back. With thee spiky fruit in claw, I grabbed my coconut and drank some of the milk from it to empty it a bit.

"Lacero." I drew on some of the gems set in my wings to cast the spell, letting me split the coconut with one hand, then squeezed the pineapple juice into it. I did the same for the other two, then passed them back.

"Cheers." We all drank deeply, then I wiped my beak. The zebra looked at me in awe..... again.

"M...m..magic?" The look on his face was the typical 'brain bluescreen'.

"Just something I picked up in my travels...." I replied, fiddling with my amulet.

"Would you be willing to give us a tour?" Catastrophe asked politely, which, given the way she looks, seemed out of character. Almost like she was changing the subject........

"I don't mind, but first I've got to collect a bunch of these fruit. With all the new immigrants, our food supply suddenly dropped, so I'm helping to get it back up, which'll be good exercise for me too. Feel like helping out?"

"Sure!" The lady griffin replied. Ivan was merely staring at me, as well as at a number of other griffins that passed us by and worked next to us. He looked.... antsy. Nervous that he's surrounded by all these predators? Didn't really seem like fear, but he kept taking awkward glances at me.

"Well, let's get started."

I laid out a large tarp on the ground to haul the fruit we collected, and we went to work kicking and punching the trees to get the food out of them. I alternated between bucks, punches, and smashing them with my wings or tackling with my shoulders. My metallic limb was quite effective at dropping the fruit from their lofty heights, what with it's armored plating. What was odd though was my companions for this. Every time I turned to look at the pair working next to me, they seemed to look away shyly, as if embarrassed of something. Pretty soon, I had worked up a sweat, and we had filled the tarp. Lifting the edges, we began hauling it back, my recently healed shoulder making me wince with the strain.

"Oh? Is there something wrong?" They looked at me with sincere concern. "We can help you with that." Catastrophe finished, smiling slightly.

'What does she mean by that?'

"Ah, fuck..." I reached into my leather pack for a vial of potion and downed it, the pain being relieved immediately. "Nah, I'm good. I'm just going to have to get Gear to take another look at my shoulder. And tune this wing while he's at it, it's ratios are off and it's giving me nerve feedback again. I think I knocked something loose when I hit the tree."

Catastrophe blinked. "Pain potion." She almost face palmed. "Tuning. TUNING?" Her smile dropped. "Say... could I have this... Gear person take a look at mine?" Of course. Looking at her replacements sparking all over the place under a kind of fake skin designed to make it look normal, a fake skin which was stretched, burnt, and had holes poked through it. I could see why she might want a professional to take a look at them.

"I don't see why not. He loves tinkering and stuff. We'll see him on the tour, he's setting up a small foundry here in town so we can actually make use of the ore the dogs living here dig up, but first let's get this food back to the village."

We finally got the several hundred pounds of food back to camp.... hey, griffins weigh like, 700 pounds each, we can carry quite a bit, and Ivan's a zebra, do they have earth pony magic? I don't know, but he sure was trying, like he was trying to impress someone. Maybe Catastrophe? A bunch of other griffins at the gate took our load off us, several giving me pats on the back, including some dogs that we had freed as well.

"Wow. They really like you." Ivan said, almost sadly. Catastrophe sighed.

"Relax, you'll get your own." She replied to his comment. I don't know what she means by that, but whatever.

"Well, this is Signal, the main, and only, settlement of the New Dominion. Almost all the inhabitants are freed slaves and their families. As for why they like me.... well, can you guess who freed them? While the latest batch by my crew and not me, since I was in the hospital, they still see me as the reason they're free, and are actually having a celebration tonight. although that's for a very different reason. A surprise birthday party for a friend of mine who is largely under appreciated. Don't let on that you know about it." I gave a smirk of childish pride.

Ivan nodded. "I wish I had that kinda luck." He laughed lightly, rubbing the back of his head with a hoof.

Catastrophe sighed. "So... you freed a bunch of slaves, right?" She asked, curious. "What sorta thing did you fly in?"

"That." I point to the floating palace that is the Possibility. "Soon as I get enough dough, I'm going to buy it off Steelhorn, but until then, I guess I'll just settle for renting it."

The hen blinked. "That. That... THAT?" She said, her eyes widening. "Holy shit? That thing? FLIES?" Well duh. It IS an airship. What did she think it was? She smiled widely, almost manic in its intensity. "You. Can... rent. THAT?! How much?

"Well, it was around 21 thousand bits for the first three months, and the continued use is that the owner gets a nice cut of all the profits we get from raiding slaver ships."

"Ivan. Can I sell your soul to rent it for a day? I promise I won't crash it." Ivan blinked and hung his head low. Wow, that's kind of... mean.

"Come on. You know I can't do that at will..." He pouted. This is getting stranger and stranger. Is he some kind of shaman who can rip his own soul out or something?

"For all the effort those dogs go through with the slaves and all that to get those gems, you'd think they'd have better......" I let out a sinister laugh, "security for them. Raid the ships, kill the dragons, beat down the alphas, free the slaves, turn a profit. Nice little thing we got going.

The zebra growled loudly. "Don't remind me. So... what's your dragon slaying count?"

"Dragon kill count? Hmm........... nine......."

"Alphas?"

"Personally? None. We thrashed one, but he was a bit of a pansy. I gave him an ultimatum, but when I came back there was nothing but ash, but my crew took one down while I was on the mend.......Anyways, I set up a nice little village, gonna start building the next one soon actually. All the freed slaves can go wherever they want, but I offer em a place to stay here for as long as they want, make a new life, while we try and find their families. I guess they're pretty happy about being given a second chance. What about you? From the look of you, you two you've been around a bit.

Ivan blinked and looked down. "Uh. I think I killed one. Maybe." He said, looking a little embarrassed. Catastrophe nudged him. "And a shoggoth. Don't forget that you little angst muffin."

"Hey, that's not bad, not bad at all. Dragons aren't anything to take lightly. I just got lucky my first time around and figured out what I was doing..... and what the hell is a shoggoth?"

The zebra looked exasperated. "It was a thing of pure horror. Eldritch." He shuddered. "Lovecraftian horror. Like every monster cliche known to anything mashed into one blob thing that ate everything on my island. And a few things on the mainland."

"Wait, lovecraftian?" Yeah, H.P. Lovecraft. Human author...... I wonder....

"Ivan, do you by any chance....... like bananas?"

He looked at me blankly, obviously confused. "Not really?"

"Oh...... well, anyways, we're here. Hey! Geirmund! I got a customer for ya!" I was a bit disappointed. I thought I had found another. Well, he still might be, Aoi didn't know the banana line either. Maybe he heard it from someone else? He's at least met a human, that much I know, but that doesn't get me anywhere.

"Mind your ears!" I warned as we entered a mess of buzzing saws, grinding gears, sparks, and iron that was the still under construction forge. It was loud, it was bright, it was all the migraine inducing glory of industry. "Gear! Ya in here?" I shouted over the steady hum. The giant form of Steelhorn made it's way in front of us, carrying an anvil on his shoulder. He set it down with a thud, the put his hands behind his back, arched it, and let out several loud cracks.

"Captain Griffin, glad to see yoo up and about, ya lazy cod. Tha gear head is up top." He pointed towards the ship.

"Thanks Steel. You're all heart." A clear shot at him calling me lazy, when the truth is they almost had to sedate me a couple times to stop me from getting out early on my own. We exited the shop, glad to be out of the noise, and looked up towards the ship. "Well, looks like you get the first class treatment. Come on."

"Where to?" Ivan asked, confused. Then he looked up, and turned back to me, a blank stare on his face.

'Right, zebra, duh. He can't fly, and I doubt his friend is too willing to carry him or let him ride, considering the way all her joints are fizzing." Time to be a nice guy......

"Right. Hop on Ivan, can't really leave you behind."

He was suddenly in giddy shock. "Get on..... your back?" He stated, torn between disbelief and excitement. Probably never flew before.

"Well.... yeah. I mean, how else are you gonna get up there?"

Catastrophe stopped, looking at me for a for a long moment. "Yo-..." She shook her head. "Just..." Clearly having a hard time understanding why I'd let myself be ridden. Common thought process.

"I'm normally being ridden around by a unicorn. It makes for a pretty effective combat team." I said as I lowered myself to the ground to let the zebra climb on. He climbed on while really trying his best to not be awkward about it, judging by the way he seemed afraid to even touch me.

"Now hold on, and don't touch the wings. The metal one's got nerves in it and with the feedback loop it'll seize up if you touch it."

"Yes sir." He nodded, then wrapped his hooves around my neck and buried his face into it, rubbing it all over, sighing in content and making little peeping sounds in absolute joy.

"Okay then. Zebra nuzzling my feathers aside.... up we go."

Ivan let out a half squawk, half squeak noise. "I w-was not!" I laughed openly.

"Yeah, I know, they're soft. I mean, this IS what they make pillows and blankets out of."

"Uh... yeah. Soft. Pillows. Right." He replied awkwardly. I feel like I'm missing something. Okay, I mean, he's probably embarrassed that he did that. He seems rather awkward for someone with all those scars, unless they're from being clumsy instead of combat or his friend....

I opened my wings, stretching them to their fullest extent, and took off into the sky, the other griffin following me. Ivan held on tightly, afraid, but also exhilarated at being able to fly. Not everyday a 'land dweller' gets to fly, let alone on a griffin's back. It wasn't very far, so we arrived rather quickly.

"And here we are. Welcome aboard the Possibility. I'll show you down to the infirmary so Gear and Nadene can take a look at us."

"Who's Nadene? The plucky side kick, lusting after you, or the saucy bard?" Ivan asked, curious.

"Wha- what?" I coughed. This is getting awkward. "Um.... kind of?" She's only after me when I'm the other me, so it kind of counts..... right?

"Just playing the cliches." He nodded.

"So... where is the random idiot who will try to flirt with me? Or is it one of those thigns that won't happen, just because I am expecting it?"Catastrophe looked around with a scowl. More cliches?

"Yeah, that's probably not going to happen. Anyways...... Nadene is the cat with daggers and tribal clothes. She's our field medic, apothecary, and before Surprise came on board, the cheer-er up-er. We'll see her in a second."

We entered the hold of the ship and made our way down to the medical bay where Geirmund and Nadene were chatting along with the rest of the Freud family.

"So..... how do I get down?" Ivan asked. Now that he was up here, even more predators, cats and griffins, he's probably looking for a way to escape if he needs it.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I need to go down and take another shower anyways, after getting all worked up getting fruit." I turned to the doctors inside. "Hey Gear, got some work for you. I need you to check my shoulder and tune my wing, the thing is giving me feedback something awful and has a half second lag, and the shoulder is hurting. This is Catastrophe and, well, I think you can figure it out at a glance." I motioned to her, all her metallic joints sparking on and off, the smell of burnt flesh and ozone hanging in the air.

"So who will be servicing me today?" She asked, with a content smile. That phrase COULD be taken the wrong way if you thought about it in terms of prostitution. I saw Ivan blush.

'Oh, I get it, they're a couple, and she just loves making him embarrassed. That would explain why he was blushing constantly this whole time.'

"Give her the full treatment, on the house. I don't know why, but I have a good feeling about these two, and besides, they caught me in a good mood." Try being nice to people Grif. Try being nice. Look, I wasn't a sarcastic asshole, and I already found two friends...... at least one of them of questionable alignment and origin. Right..... with my luck, I'll have just befriended a psychopathic murderer. I feel sorry for Ivan, but who am I to judge? I'm not exactly the nicest person either...

"Over here, yes, datz it. On zee bed, let me take un look at zeese..... by ze way, vere did you get your implants? Whoever did zem...... well, zey are un moron."

"From someone I paid ENTIRELY too much." She snapped and frowned. "Just, get to work."

In the mean time, Cable motioned to the bed next to Catastrophe's, and ushered me towards it. "Alright, up on zee table, spread ze wing over ze workbench so I can take un look. Furnace, can you get me mein tool kit?"

"Yes ma."

Nadene walked over with Nurse Grey, (A blanched white unicorn with cadaceus for cutie mark.) "Cable here is Geirmund's wife, and Furnace is their daughter. Nadene is from the Vren tribe in the southern rain forest, also known as the feline jungle. They're a tribe of healers and potion makers, living next to the sacred grove which has hundred of extremely rare herbs that was, until recently, protected by a *shudder* giant spider."

"You've really been around! Ever been to Rej? Its an island in the belt." The scarred zebra asked.

"Rej...... not familiar with that. Don't really know the names, just classed the islands as 'thriving' 'livable' 'unlivable' 'wasteland' 'occupied' and 'dangerous', then picked a couple 'thriving' for settlement."

"Nurse, magi-scan the shoulder will you?" Nadene asked. The unicorn's horn glowed as she passed it over the joint, then sat back.

"The joint isn't sitting right in the socket, everything is packed in behind it, pinching the muscles and nerves. We'll have to dislocate it and move it back in order to set it right. You must have really jammed it to get it like that" Well, that isn't good news. Probably happened when I shoulder tackled that tree......... I'm an idiot. Just out of the hospital and I'm already trying to put myself back in it.

"Crap...... might want to look away Ivan, this ain't gonna be pretty. Cable, just take the wing off for the moment, I don't want to hit you with it." At my instruction, the tinker pony put a hoof on either side of the wing, brought it forward, and unscrewed a small screw. The plate draped over my back hissed as it unwound, and I winced as the nerves were untangled from the gem matrix within, luckily the anesthetic stored within doing it's job.

The kitty doctor turned to look at my face. "On three alright? One...." And then the incredible pain of having my shoulder pop out of it's socket made itself known.

"FUCK!"I took a few deep breaths to overcome the anguish. "So much for three......"

"Now, I'll keep the tendons, ligaments, and nerves out of the way while it gets reinserted, then you stay off it mister. I know you went out exercising but if you don't let it rest to heal, it'll never get better and we'll have to do this again next week." The unicorn scolded. I closed my eyes in preparation.

"Gaaah!"

Nadene then brought out an amethyst set gem wand and pointed it at the joint. "Nurse, charge it please, and hold it while I put the muscles I just tore back together." I noticed Ivan watching with intense interest.

"Medico." And then, bliss. The soothing waves of healing magic washed over my shoulder and I became limp on the bed. My tongue lolled out of my mouth slightly and my eyes became half lidded. My abrupt relief was interrupted by a hoof smacking my face. Cable, looking very angry.

"Gah! It needs no adjusting, it's perfectly fine. Ze ratio's were off and it was giving you feedback because it was FULL OF SAND you idiot! Vat did you do, lay on ze beach" Hehe..... that's exactly what I did...... Oops.

"Erm.......... I don't think I'll answer that. Oh look, a convenient change of subject. So Ivan, are you interested in medicine? You seemed to be staring rather intently at the procedure."

He nodded. "I was more interested in just how the nerves were wrapped into the metal. Very interesting, you know? How hard was it to rout the blood away?" Cable snapped my wing back on and left in a huff, mumbling about gutting me if I did that again, as Nadene and Grey finished on my other side.

"I have no idea. Geirmund is a friggin genius though. To actually be able to FEEL through steel, it's a miracle. The wing itself does a micro surgery and binds the nerves to a gem matrix, but I don't know the details of the how. Can you believe this guy doesn't have a medical license?"

"Really? You could have at least looked at me while I was going through the procedure, Ivan. You were too busy ogling the equipment, weren't you?" Catastrophe piped up, her joints no longer sparking as Geirmund had apparently finished on them. Also, oggling the equipment? Seems I was right, she really does thrive on making this zebra feel awkward.

"Yeah. Sure." He gave her a death glare.

"Ah, yes, vell, I've fixed ze... whatever you call zose...... but it vill take time to complete your new limbs. Come back in un veek and Steelhorn und I vill have zem ready." The tension was interrupted by the surgeon.

"Yeah yeah, sure. One week. So... what now?"

"Well I guess you two are gonna have to stick around for a bit. Geez, I figured since it had waterproof fittings the sand couldn't get in either. Shows how much I know about prosthetic mechanics....." I shook my head to get back to the present. "I'll fly you back down. There's a festival going on tonight in my honour. Apparently I did something right." I said with a wink trying to throw off anyone who might be listening in that it was actually Gilda's surprise birthday.

"I'm not really sure you can do anything wrong." Ivan said, then stuffed a hoof in his mouth. "I uh mean..." He seemed thankful when Nadene came back in and cut that train of thought.

"Oh, before you go um.... Catastrophe? Here.... this ought to do you a bit more good than some silly old seeds." She passed a potion full of dark purple liquid.

She looked at the cat person and frowned. "I just take them to deal with the cravings. I'll be ok."

Nadene scowled. "Take. The. Potion."

The griffin growled. "I'd call you a bitch, but that's the wrong term, isn't it?" Uh oh. Cat fight.

"Grr....... fine. Grif, here. YOU shove it down her throat." She passed me the vial.

"Now that I'm ok with." Oh geez, she's definitely coming on to me, it all makes sense now, all the things she's said that could have a sexual meaning. And Ivan.... he's jealous and embarrassed at the same time. Catastophe...... you skank. You ought to treat your boyfriend better.

"Erhm..... what? Is.... is there something I'm missing?"

She shrugged. "You tell me, Griff." She smiled. "She doesn't look like she knows her way around medicine..."

I scratched the back of my head with a confused look, which for some reason made Ivan blush as well. "Oh, trust me, she knows what she's doing. I'd bet my life on her remedies.....heck, I already do on a daily basis. They've never steered me wrong before."

Ivan swallowed nervously and looked away. "Yeah.. Catastrophe, just take the medicine. Stop being a drama whore." Showing some backbone finally? I'm impressed. It takes a lot to stand up to people like her. She growled in response.

"And that is exactly something we need to talk over, Ivan. Later." She turned to Nadene. "Fine. Give me the stupid potion." I passed her the vial which she looked at questioningly before downing it in one gulp. "Ok, I'll admit it. That's pretty good."

"When she mixes em, she colour, scent, and flavour codes them using berries. They're colour blind, so they go by texture, taste, smell, and touch. Also, not tasting like ass is a good thing too."

They began talking about things I didn't pay attention to, not feeling on edge which is a welcome change, until I heard what Catastrophe said next. "Grow a little spine. Who cares if you have a spider in your head or something, right?"

"She's scaring me. Can we never let her have any potion ever?" Was the zebra's response. 'Spider..... in his head..... SPIDER IN HIS HEAD?!?!?'

I jumped off the table, trying not to look nervous. "Spider...... in your HEAD?" I would just dismiss this as nonsense, except for this very morning a spider who claimed to be the arachnid Galactus tried to assassinate me. "New plan, your friend flies you down. I'm going to go take a shower down below so I don't waste the ship's water."

Ivan groaned. "I don't have a spider in my head. That's silly talk." He looked to his friend. "You're silly." Really? Spider tries to kill me. Spider cutie mark. Spider in your head. Spider spider spider. Spider. Spider? Spider.

"Heh... yeah.... sure.... silly talk.......... well....... I gotta.... go....... somewhere." And with that, I bolted out. There are some things that are just WRONG. Having a spider in your head is one of them. It makes sense now..... kind of. The spider on his flank, in the circle thing. Represents having a spider in his mind. His whole 'shaman' thing which I'm not too sure about right now. Did he accidentally channel the spirit of a spider and it got stuck in there? Either way, between Catastrophe dropping hints that she wants to jump me, and now being in a drug induced stupor at the same time, combined with the weirdo zebra, I just needed to get out of there. I'm here to relax, not freak out about spiders.

Reaching the shower stalls again, I grabbed a cloud, feeling the temperature inside. This one was icy cold. Perfect for what I needed, a little shock therapy. Then I proceeded to dump it on me, letting the frigidity snap me out of my funk. I shivered slightly from the chill of the water. "Damn spiders..... always make me feel all....... crawly under my skin....."

I shivered again as I dumped some more water on me and began to lather. Well, I'm in the shower, might as well do as those in showers do..... sing.

Paper Wings. Originally a rock song, sounds quite beautiful when sung in a slow and calming tone.

"One last thing I beg you please, just before you go.

I've watch you fly on paper wing, halfway 'round the world until they,

burned up in the atmosphere ans sent you spiraling down,

landing somewhere far from here with no-one else around,

to catch you falling down,

and I'm looking at you now....

....and I can't tell if you're laughing,

between each smile there's a tear in your eye.

There's a train leaving town in an hour

it's not waiting for you, and neither am I.

Swing for the fences son, he must have told you once.

That was a conversation, you took nothing from so raise your glass now,

lets celebrate exactly what you've done.

Just put off another day of knowing where you're from.

You can catch up with yourself if you run...

...and I can't tell if you're laughing.

Between each smile there's a tear in your eye

There's a train leaving town in an hour,

it's not waiting for you, and neither am I.

Is this the life that you lead,

or the life that's lead for you?

Will you take the road that's been laid out before you?

Will we cross paths, somewhere else tonight?

somewhere else tonight...

...and I can't tell if you're laughing.

Between each smile there's a tear in your eye

There's a train leaving town in an hour,

it's not waiting for you, and neither am I."

My voice was smooth as silk. I always liked that song. As a rock song, it's pretty good, but I always felt that with the lyrics, it could really hit top charts if sung classical style, so that's how I always sang it, and lets just say I was pretty good. Too bad the kids at school didn't appreciate my voice, they just found that as another reason to hate me, calling me a 'Glee fag'. I don't even like that show.

I exited the shower stall, not shaking myself off this time, simply letting me drip dry as an odd thought entered my mind. 'Maybe I should plunk myself in the ocean right before I go see Gilda, and see her reaction to it. If she blushes, it's hot, and then I'll know.' I began snickering at the thought. Well, we haven't done it in two weeks anyways, and last time I did it was when Nadene got me high and I didn't remember it, so I'm pretty sure she's just about gone crazy from hormones and will be thinking about that anyways. At least I get to give her a good birthday present. Kind of sucks that I cut us off from each other. Serves me right for freaking out. I just hope we can get back to where we were before. Then, a chill down my spine. I stopped a couple times to look over my shoulder, but saw nothing.

'Why do I get the strange feeling that I'm being watched......... Meh, not like anyone can pull something right in the middle of town. I'll just ignore it.... but keep an eye out for anything strange, just not be paranoid.'

I began making rounds through the town. Checking how the little village was fairing on it's own was a good excuse for seeing how the party preparations were going. First stop, the mayor.

"Greetings Griffin!" Bluebeak called cheerfully.

"And a warm welcome to you as well. How have things been going?"

"Oh, the usual. Food supply is good, reports of sea ponies, although most of em wound up being weird shaped driftwood, dealing with all the newcomers. It's a good thing you decided on the next island to settle, we're getting a little packed in here."

"Still sending the reports to Equestria? I've got some unicorns here to work with the guard tower and whatever else, so sending messages won't be so much of a pain. They decided that the 'pirate's life' wasn't for them after all, but didn't want to go back home, or would rather live on a tropical island. Here are their papers. Help em get settled. I'm off to check on the supplies.......... did you just hear a thud?" I turned my head to listen to where I thought it was coming from and heard it again.

"There it is again."

"Actually, that one sounded more like a *whump*" The mayor remarked. I walked out of the town hall to see who else but Ivan and Catastrophe beating the stuffing out of each other, shouting and yelling insults.

"Ahh, young love." At least I know who's been following me. Why? I don't know, but I doubt it's anything bad, and if it is, if they're this terrible at infiltration I got nothing to worry about. I flew off towards the barracks for my next stop.

"Uh huh.... ten mark one laser rifles... thirty bows, five hundred arrows.... and twenty steel plate armors, 15 for griffins and five for pegasi, and twelve spears.... Not bad.... once the foundry is up and the dogs start hauling in more gems and ores when the mineshaft is dug, we can start making our own. I hope to have every inhabitant armed and trained in case of an emergency. It might be unlikely, but the harpies five islands over may decide to fly the coop, and I want to be ready if they do. Still, the main gun should be enough to deter most threats, but it's better to have a backup in case that isn't enough. Carry on." I left the barracks to see, once again, the zebra and griffin beating the stuffing out of each other. I simply flew over them and was on to my next stop.

"Let's see, town hall for bureaucratic crap.... done." I checked off a box on my list. "Armory for defense resource management.... check." And another. "Food supply bolstered, already got that one..... clinic for medical statistics, and........ crap. Schoolhouse. We've got a plot of land, but haven't build it yet. And we need to get teachers........ Well, at least this'll mean an economic boom for Equestria will all the new jobs popping up abroad." I wrote a wrote a quick letter to Celestia explaining the predicament, and asked her to put out an advert for 'Teachers across borders' as an opportunity for educators to travel abroad and teach those in need.

I continued going around town, doing various errands, while Ivan and Catastrophe followed me, continually fighting with each other whenever I saw them. It was now sunset, and as such, time for the party. Now, since I don't want anything ruining the celebration, after all, it is Gilda's special day.... tomorrow, but we're doing it early, so I decided to head off the pair of troublemakers before it began. I found them, laying in a heap, panting, covered in bruises and scratches.

"I will kill you." Ivan glared at his enemy.

"I'd kiss you if you wouldn't enjoy that too much." Catastrophe returned, both too exhausted to continue their fight physically, so they settled for verbally.

"Alright you two, you've been following me around all day and.... while it is kinda funny seeing you two beat each other up, but this has gotta stop. You're the worst spies in the history of ever, so, let me save you a load of trouble....... Is there something you want?"

They both looked blankly at each other, then began whispering in each other's ears. Now, I KNOW what the griffin wants, she's been dropping lusty hints like mad.... is Ivan tagging along to make sure she doesn't jump me or something?

"S-sorry... We've actually been trying to..." Catastrophe shoved her wing against his mouth. She smirked at me with the classic 'bad pokerface'.

"Well, you know how it is, right? My adorable little friend here just wanted to follow you around for a bit. I agreed, provided he let me rough him up. He gets off on the pain, you see." She's kidding. Does she honestly expect me to believe that, with the face she's making and all the evidence stating otherwise? SHE'S most likely the one who wanted to follow me, and HE'S probably been fighting her to stop her from raping me, since he's her special someone or whatever.

"Yeah..... not only are you bad at staying hidden, you're also terrible liars. So, are you going to tell me what you need me for, or should I just leave? I mean, there has to be a reason why you've been following me."

"He's being forced to irrationally be attracted to you by a spider in his head." She said with a perfectly straight face. She kept it up for a long moment before busting out in laughter. Wow....... I don't know whether to believe that or not. It would make sense, but it also makes sense that she's just making life even more awkward for him by lying.

Ivan cleared his throat. "You, are human, right?" FINALLY I know what's going on. That makes SO much more sense now.

"Aha.... so, another one. That is why you've been following me. Yes, I am. Er.... was...... whatever."

"That's totally why I'm following you. Because you are human, I mean. I was trying to make sure." He said with a wide smile. "So uh. Humans."

"Yep.... humans..... they like bananas.... on the moon....."

"Still don't get where you're going with that......"

"Damnit.... why couldn't you just get the meme? Whatever.... Well, now that that's out of the way, anything else I can do for you before you go back to stalking me?"

He nodded. "Do you have any way that I could eat meat?" Catastrophe snickered at his word choice and he glared at her.

'So much innuendo!'

"Well..... not unless you want to be human for a bit...."

"I. Can. Be. HUMAN?" He hopped up and hugged me tightly, nuzzling my feathers again. I pretended not to notice, not wanting to embarrass him further. By the look of things, that's 'Cata's' job. "HANDS! I COULD HAVE HANDS!" He cheered.

"Yeah........ Well......... here goes. You may want to lay down for this bit. The first time can make you have a lot of trouble walking."........ I did NOT just say that. Now she's got me doing it! Resisting the urge to facepalm, I put my claw to the amulet.

"You act like you are about to get fucked, Ivan." She laughed. That poor guy......

"Don't say I didn't warn you. Forma Versus." I left my amulet on when I used it, none too eager to turn back into a human myself, what with the missing eyes and all.

"If he starts moaning. I am out of here." Stupid...... horny.... griffin....... Ivan, you seriously need to take care of her, before she ravages you.... which reminds me......... Gilda must be feeling the need.... I mean, sure, she and Nadene have taken care of each other's need now, but she's probably missing me.

Back to the moment at hand, I now saw a human laying on the ground. He had short brown hair, blue eyes, and I didn't take note of any other features because I was busy covering my eyes.

"Woah. I'm tiny." Could also be taken the wrong way. I'm just going to pretend there's only one way it could be taken, and he means size relative to the rest of the world, since he's on the ground. He looked around. "And naked." He paused for a moment. "Wait. I'm... naked. And an anime character. I better not look like a femme boy....... So... can I stand up yet?"

"Why are you........ we're you in the shower or something? And for fuck sake, cover yourself!"

Thankfully, one of the random passerby's threw a towel on him, which he hastily wrapped around himself so I could finally look. He crossed his arms and scowled with a half maniac demeanor.

"Fate hates me, first off. Second, why would I expect for anything to be convenient?" He asked as he stood. "So... uh... how do I look? Oh yeah, and why aren't you human? Is this one of those jokes where the inquisition shows up and kills me for being a primate instead of a zebra?" He rambles, looking almost blank. "I mean, you are a human, right? I'm a human, and I turned into a human. So it stands to follow that unless you lied to me and got my hopes up, you aren't a human And I should be panicking." He looked at his hands. "HOLY SHIT HANDS!"

"No one expects the Equestrian Inquisition! Also, I..... don't like.... my human form....."

"Of course. The humans have to be the cute ones AND the ones with something wrong with them. Hey Ivan, you aren't alone anymore!" The hen said annoyed.... and she just called me cute.

"You know, for a griffon, you are kinda cute. Like, if you were a few inches tall I would hug you and name you fluffles. Like a bunny. Ooooh! Do you have any rabbit? I like eating meat. Do you like eating meat? Why aren't you human? You should be human." And now HE called me cute........... Can't tell if gay or just awkward......

"Fine, so long as you stop asking questions, but just for a second... follow me....." I lead them towards a bench and sit on it, Lyra style. I removed the amulet and hold it by the necklace part. "Forma versus." I said, depressed. Then, my vision turned black.

"GO HUMAN!" Came a cheer of Ivan's voice, then a *whap* and an *ow* She clearly hit him. "Damn it all. Fucking everything. So... what's the big deal? You look like a generi- Oh! Let me guess. Parents didn't like you, were bullied, classic archetypes, right? Probably have somethign wrong with bullies." Damn, he pegged me right off.

"Yeah, that's about right...... oh, and I'm a genius who does science and magic when he gets drunk, and a berserker when I get pissed."

"Blind, huh?" He suddenly noticed the sunglasses that were now a part of my human form, as I added them before I changed.

"Not till a month ago.... same reason I was in the hospital. Takes a special kind of bitch to ruin both my bodies. Stupid Ember, stupid Ritz, should have just done things my way...." I muttered

"Heh, you're kinda cute as a human too. You look so.... defenseless..... like a wounded animal...." I couldn't see her, but I could feel the tension in the air. She was looking at me like a piece of meat. I can't decide whether she was planning to eat me or ravage me...... or both.....Then, I removed the shades and looked right at where I THINK they were standing. Haven't gotten any practice being blind yet.

'If only I had a camera so I could see what their faces look like right now..... later....'

"I've seen worse." Ivan's voice came through. What does he mean he's seen worse? I have empty eye sockets and blood dripping down my face from them. You can see my BRAIN if you look in there with a light!... oh, right, they sealed it up. Never mind. "Sorry about everything that's happened so far." Suddenly, he gave a sincere apology. He sounded really sad.

"Well, now that that's done, hold this gem for a sec." I held it out and felt as he put a hand on it. "Reverti." Suddenly, my vision came back and I was my normal self again. Wait, when did I start thinking of my altered form as my normal self? Has it been that long?

"Finally, I hate going human. I only ever do it for shock and awe, if I'm in REAL deep shit, or........... one-other-thing-which-I-won't-tell-you-about." I said that part quickly. "Well, now that's done and over with, and what did you mean by 'cute' Catastrophe?"

"Just remarking that you look rather handsome." She whistled. Yep, she's lying. "Humans really don't have the best skin, don't they?"

"Again, you're a terrible liar. You called me 'cute' before I changed, and have been dropping hints all day. Why don't you tell me what's REALLY going on?" I glared at the pair who froze up, before Ivan the now human hung his head in defeat and began explaining.

"We both kinda..." He kicked the ground, his face reddening.

"Hey Grif, there you are. I've been looking all over." Gilda flew down and landed next to me, interrupting what he was about to say and putting a wing over my back. "Who's the human?"

"This is Ivan, and Catastrophe." I replied, motioning to each of them. "Also, Ivan's crazy. And I'm not talking normal human crazy, something about a *shudder* spider in his head. Anyways, ready for the party?"

"Just about, although, we can find somewhere private we can do a bit more 'preparation' if you want." She put on a lusty smile. Of course, her 'birthday present' I just got out of the hospital and she has needs I haven't been taking care of.

"You betcha." It's time I just gave in. If I was a REAL asshole, I would have denied her, since she was still in heat at this point, although the last dregs of it, but I forgave her for what she did, and I'm not going to be all awkward and ruin it for the both of us. So many hormones today......That's when Catastrophe walked over to me.

"Can I borrow that pendant?"

"Um.... what for? And no." My amulet. You no can have.

"Please turn him back into a zebra so I can ravish him senseless until he collapses into a puddle of his own juices?" She said in a blank tone, staring at Ivan. He gulped, slowly backing away.

"Uh... I don't like and also do like where this is going..." I passed her a pair of small, glowing gems.

"It's 'Forma versus' to make him human, and 'Reverti' to change him back." I wanted to 'not' cast the spell, so it didn't go off. After all, this magic is a mix of words and intent. The first time, there was no intent, so it worked by the words, but this time, the intent was for nothing to happen, so it didn't.

"Ravish until he........... Grif, come with me, now." The suggestion was enough to push Gilda over the top. She didn't want to wait anymore. Meanwhile, the other lady griffin grabbed Ivan in her talons, much the way she would to an antelope she caught and was about to eat. She licked her beak, desire in her eyes.

"Com'ere Ivan."

"Don't let her take me!"

"Sorry. Duty calls! See you in........... an hour? Two? You really should have taken care of her before this, because now you're going to be raw afterwards." So, that's it. She's been going bonkers because Ivan the shy wouldn't give her any. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'You're helping her do to him what you freaked out about when it was done to you.' One, he's still himself. Neither of them are under the influence of anything, since her potion would have worn off long ago. Two, she's gonna do it anyways, regardless of what I do. All I'm doing is making it a bit easier on him.

"Don't leave me with her!" He looked at me and pleaded, begging with his eyes as well..

"Too bad." Gilda and I both cackle evilly. "I ain't gettin in the way of that. It really is for your own good."

Finally, as the last nail in the coffin, Gilda called to Catastrophe. "By the way, wounds and exhaustion don't pass between forms. When he's spent in one, swap him to the other. Also, just to let you know, the thing where he grabs and squeezes all over with the hands...." She shuddered with pleasure just imagining it. "It's fantastic."

They both smirked evilly. "I think I'll take advantage of this. Time to get fucked, Zebra boy." She replied, carrying him off in her claws like she would a piece of meat she had just caught and killed, him screaming in fear of being dropped the whole time as she carried him off into the night.

"Sorry we're late everyone. We had some...... things, to take care of."

"We all know what you were doing, so we just started the festivities early. I mean, it's a Friday the thirteenth party in celebration of our freedom, it's not likes its.... say..... Gilda's surprise birthday party." Surprise let out.

"What?" Was all she could say before they brought out the cake, one of those really huge ones. After all, it had to feed the whole village. Plain vanilla, with lemon icing and filling, and a giant 'Happy Birthday Gilda' written on it. Everyone grabbed a piece and began to eat, where as the second round resulted in a city wide food fight after I smashed my piece into Gilda's face. Ivan was at the table, human, and chowing down on as much meat as he could, despite the food war going on around him. Once he was full, he tried to leave but.... his pace was rather slow and steps were awkward. Cata really did a number on him. I almost felt bad but..... it wasn't my crime, and he didn't seem too upset about it. She was sitting next to him, rubbing her feathers all over him as she beamed an inner warmth that could only be called satisfaction, like having an infernal itch scratched, but infinitely better. In other words, they did it, and she wasn't really in the mood to torment him anymore. She practically purred as she rubbed her feathers all over him. Gilda turned and did the same to me.

"I'm covered in icing. So are you. We might have to take a shower together."

"And waste the cake? For shame Gilda. I was almost certain you'd want me to lick it off......" Her eyes shot wide as she wrapped a wing over my body.

The party went on for a while still. There was singing, dancing, food of every kind, some alcohol as well, before some pairs, some with both cats, some with both griffins, and some with one of each, began slinking off into the night towards to enjoy the moonlight..... or maybe enjoy something else, but I didn't look into it. I was chilling on the beach next to Gilda, watching the waves come in.

"Happy birthday Gilda." I said as I nuzzled her, thoroughly exhausted from the day's events.

"The happiest I've ever had. I love you Grif, you crazy knucklehead." She had tears of joy in her eyes. Not having a birthday for so many years, this had meant so much to her, even if it was just the typical birthday party upscaled to include a town. It's good to feel appreciated.

"I love you too." With that, she fell asleep in my arms, smiling contentedly, making a slight trilling sound which I had learned was the griffin version of snoring since we kind of lacked nostrils in the traditional sense. She snuggled in close, and I drifted into the bliss of dreams as well. The next morning, I made sure to get the sand out of my wing before I tried using it, so Cable wouldn't gut me, then headed off into the wilds to work on my little project....

Murder, He Wrote (98)

Murder, He Wrote

We continued walking in silence for a time, neither of us really able to think of something to say. Finding nothing, we merely trudged back to town, allowing time to slip us by. Eventually, we arrived, and my wing was charged up enough from my natural magic to move again after I drained it making an explosion. In hindsight, using that means I need to be grounded, and then can't fly for at least an hour afterwards while the wing recharges, it may not be something I want to do very often. On arrival, we were immediately spotted by both Gilda and Catastrophe who nearly dive bombed us, my girl looking at me with annoyance, and Catastrophe's gaze passing between the two of us with absolute glee in her eyes, and a hint of confusion.

Ivan backed up slowly, gulping audibly. "Uh..."

Cata licked her beak. "I'm so glad you decided to show up!"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Gilda growled at me.

"Um.... that if I want to figure out that spell, I need practice, and the ship isn't big enough?" I grinned awkwardly, the kind of nervous grin you get when you give someone a stupid excuse.

Ivan looked at Gilda in an odd way, backing up. "You're on your own."

Cata looked at me in the way that a cat looks at a canary. "That was you? You made that cloud?"

"No. I did not make that cloud. I made the explosion that made that cloud." I showed my slightly singed feathers and fur. "I think I look good in black."

She sat still for a moment, pondering with an odd look before she turned her head to Gilda and cocked it to the side, as if to ask, 'Why is she angry at you?' I decided to answer the question she didn't verbalize.

"Because I blew myself up.... again....." Her gaze narrowed.

Ivan looked up. "He had me on stand bye! I can heal..."

"See Gilda? I was doing things responsibly." I said in a matter of fact tone of voice. "I was in a big open area, had triple protection spells on me, and a zebra medic on standby." She sighed in defeat.

"Fine... at least tell me you figured it out." She replied.

"Well.... no." I paused to see the look of disappointment on her face She knew this was important to me, and wanted me to succeed..... either that or she's sick of me making a racket. "Although I did figure out HOW to figure it out, if that makes any sense." Blank stares everywhere.

"I'm going to need a lot of paper, ink, I can use my own quills, and balloons. Lots and lots of balloons, but that can wait for another time. Right now we're here to relax, so, lets do that."

"You're getting awfully friendly with Ivan. Is there something I should know?" Catastrophe, if you are insinuating that we are gay together..... and that's exactly what she's doing. Bitch. She smirked. "Well... I can't say I really mind..." Ivan let out a strangled noise.

"No. We were just going over some magic, thus the explosion. That and, for some reason, my gut tells me to be nice to him. I almost never get a good feeling about something, and I am now, so I'm gonna go with it. Anyways, since the party is over, and all the bureaucratic crap is done with, anything any of you want to do?"

"Not really. It really is nice to just... not do stuff for once." Ivan said, looking at his partner.

Catastrophe rolled her eyes, looking at Gilda. "You up for anything?"

"We could always chill on the beach."

Ivan smiled. "That would be ok with me."

"Just make sure to keep your wing out of the sand." Gilda smiled. She had clearly spoken with Cable.

Cata winced. "He did that? That's why the mechanic was so pissy?"

"Anywho, let's go."

We continued walking for a time, chatting idly about things that aren't really important, until Ivan came up with an interesting question. "So, how many other humans have you found?"

Cata hissed something into Ivan's ear that made him blush slightly. "Wonder if they're all cute..."

"Well.....There's Echo, mute diamond dog, 'Hero of Wethoof'. When we first met, I threw him through a wall, and he set me on fire." Ivan blinked.

"Then there's Knightmare, the changeling. Also world's biggest pervert. We chided each other a bit, but in the end, he saved my ass, so I guess he's alright in my book. Then Aoi, as far as I can tell, he's a wolf, samuri like guy, he's kinda quiet. I gave him a ride, and what does he do? Trash my ship then flip me the finger before he jumps off, all because of a harmless little shadow mouse. He did teach me some proper fighting technique, so I guess it's alright."

"Mouse. He was scared of a mouse?" Catastrophe scoffed.

"Hey, I'm afraid of spiders... We all got our things. Then there's Celt, a bugbear, whatever the hell that is, and I don't really know him because I only saw him when he was drunk. I threw HIM through a window."

Ivan looked less than impressed. "Do you always end up fighting humans?"

Looking at the blank stares I was getting, I guess I needed to explain a little. "To be fair, he was ruining the party."

"Party?"

"The grand galloping gala. Anyways, then there's Ember. I got eaten by a dragon once, and cut him up from the inside. Turns out, he was her adopted dad, for like, a month, so she got pissed. She beat the snot out of Princess Luna, and then I met her like a month later. She had turned an entire city into an active volcano. She ripped off my wing, and turned my ribs into paste." I flicked one of my ribs, which let out a metallic ringing sound. "I switched bodies to escape, and she tore out my eyes." I sighed and shook my head. "And she broke my damn sword!"

He blinked. Well, I guess at least he's not a bobble head anymore. It's kinda strange, but I've noticed that he has very few mannerisms.... "...Is everyone stupidly dangerous?"

"There wasn't just some... I don't know, normal guy who didn't end up with the ability to level cities?"

"Well, I did talk to Puppy Love, who's been going around interviewing humans, and she said one was a house cat in a suit and tie, so I guess there are some normal ones, and Knightmare isn't all that dangerous, he's just slippery. Hard to kill."

I paused for a moment, quiet permeating the air as we walked in silence, nobody willing to continue the conversation, so I decided to do it myself. "Who have you all run into?"

Cata's tail flicked out irritably, smacking against Ivan with an audible thud. Ivan turned to glare at her. "Some guy named Marty Stu. He's a snake thing... nice guy... Helped me out a few times. There was this cow named Missy. Uh..." He looked away, shaking his head.

Cata cleared her throat. "Fucking snake dicked asshole."

"If there were others, they didn't want me to spread it around." Ivan finally added.

"Marty Stu?..... I feel like I should call him Gary if I ever see him. And a cow? That's..... unexpected. As far as I can tell, people are given a choice as to what they want to become. He... or rather, she, must have been one of those people who picked 'random', like me."

Ivan twitched, growling. "You got a choice? You had a choice?" He looked to be visibly angry.

"You mean you didn't? Some weird guy came up and asked me what I would be if I could go, and I said, "Don't care, as long as it isn't lame like a cow or donkey, and not troublesome, like a dragon. Then he asked if I'd miss anyone. I said no, and he said 'Off you go then!' and that was that."

He stared at me for a long time. "I was tugged away into a police car after I accidentally killed someone. Then a police officer punched me in the face and I woke up in chains."

"....... It's official. Fate hates you more than me. This makes me happy, and at the same time I feel so bad for you it hurts." I really do feel bad for him. Just thrown into this world, he didn't even have a choice.

Cata cleared her throat again. "So... humans. Do they all make that adorable little squeak when you pounce on them?" She addressed Gilda.

"Oh definitely." She replied. "And they gasp when you rub their arms just the right way."

"You have claws. You can pick things up with them. Don't get me started on fate or I'll start ranting like a whiny unlikeable anime protagonist. Or the main character in a bad fanfic."

"My parents hate me because I was born, and I saved the life of my worst enemy, who made my life a living hell." I deadpanned. "Well, we're here." I grabbed a glass from a vendor and passed them a couple bits to pay for them, then handed one to each of my companions. "Here's to giving fate the finger. Cheers."

We sat on the beach, just looking at the waves for a time. I began humming the Dr.Who theme song, till Ivan cut me off with a question. "How does it feel to fly?"

"It's like..... the world at your fingertips. The freedom to go literally anywhere, whenever you want, regardless of terrain. Take a nap on some clouds when you're tired, then just keep going."

He was looking at Catastrophe thoughtfully. "Like nothing else, right?

"Yeah... it's unbelievab... *Ting* At the sound of metal on metal, I jumped to my feet. Looking at what had caused it, I saw a razor sharp needle resting on the spot between by body and my metal wing. "Prot.... crap, I forgot I'm out of magic." I reached into my pack, grabbed a vial of the dark red fluid I so craved, and downed it.

Ivan stood up, a look of surprise glancing his face. Catastrophe let out an undignified squawk of pain.

"Protego. Accelero. Fortis." I whispered under my breath then held perfectly still. I saw a gleam of metal from a bush, and dove right at it. The second needle bounced right off my skin as I tore after my assailant, and pinned them onto the ground. I looked over my shoulder to see that Ivan had rushed to the Catastrophe's side, staring down at the large needle sticking straight out of her back.

"Ivan! Catastrophe alright?"

Catastrophe let out the sort of sound that a deflating baloon makes. "I don't know..."

I pulled the mask off my cloaked foe, to find the smaller muzzle of a female diamond dog. I immediately knocked her out with a vial from my pouch, then dug through her possessions. "Gilda! Get her to the ship! She's been poisoned!" She nodded, gripping the smaller female under her and lifting her into the air. "Ivan, hop on, we gotta get to Nadene now!"

Without any of the awkwardness that pervaded the previous attempts, Ivan jumped on my back, feral tension flooding his form. I could literally feel his rage pounding. As soon as I felt his weight, I took off, rushing towards the ship with my prisoner held under me. "Those poison needles, they were meant for me."

"Yeah?" He snarled. "And this little bitch you have is going to pay, right?" As for Ivan's question, a single look over my shoulder so he could see my eyes was all he needed to know. He had the same look in his own.

Reaching the ship, Gilda was nearly busting down doors to get Ivan's friend to the infirmary, and I followed in the wake of parting crew members. We got Catastrophe into a bed and I passed Nadene a vial of clear liquid I had found on the assassin when I searched her. "Poison. Same as what's on the needle in her back." I turned back to the black cloaked bitch (literally) and walked coldly down to the room where I had originally held Drone the changeling, before she went smoosh. Ivan followed behind, his pouch floating over his head and various objects floating out. What looked to be most of a unicorn horn were among them. I checked her for any other weapons, then tied her up and threw her in there. "Now, we wait."

He let out a sigh. "So we don't cut her yet?"

"No point unless she's awake. Besides, I have something a little..... more effective, in mind."

He looked at him curiously. "Mind spells? Can I have her soul afterward?"

"No, I told you I wasn't going anywhere near that again, as for the soul, I don't care."

So, we waited, and waited, and waited, until she finally woke up. I opened the door and strode in slowly, but with purpose. "Well well, an assassin, this is a first. I was expecting you a lot sooner, what took the dens so long to finally send someone after me?"

"Really? You aren't going to start with the branding irons?" Ivan piped up.

"Hush..." I shot him a glare.

"None... it was just me." The assassin replied.

"You know, I've always wanted to see if I could remove all the bones from someone's body while they were alive, I mean, Griff, would you provide the healing magic?" There was an awkward pause. Okay, maybe Ivan IS dangerous.... he's at least crazy.

"Ivan, you've never done this properly, have you? We're trying for information, not just pain. "Besides, trained assassin," I motioned to her, "they'll probably never talk, but that doesn't mean we can't try."

Ivan sighed. "Fiiiiine. I'm just trying to do what Cata would do." He sniffed.

"So, let me ask again, how many more assassins, and while we're at it, where are they?"

"You won't get anything out of me."

"That's fine. Aqua. Florens Sanguis." Still tied up, her right arm began contorting, a bubble appearing under the flesh that continually grew, until I could see the puddle of blood pooling beneath the skin and fur. "Ivan, remember the field? What happens when there's a lot of pressure than can't be released?"

He laughed cheerfully. "Pop!" And pop it did. The assassin's arm exploded from the shoulder, blowing the meat right off the joint. Ivan looked down at it. "Do you know any good recipes?" She screamed in anguish, then breathing, heavily glared at me and growled.

"Still don't want to talk?" Then the other arm. More screaming. "I really don't like doing this, could you please just tell me how many more?" What the FUCK is wrong with Ivan? He totally doesn't give a shit about what I'm doing. In fact, he actually helped by sealing her wounds with fire, using a gem from his pouch, and the smell of cooked meat filling the air.

"Wouldn't want her to die just yet, right?"

"How about now? No?" And there goes a leg. Once again, Ivan sealed the wound, his stomach growling audibly.

"Three... there's.... three....." She finally relented. Pop. Screams.

"How many?"

"Three."

"She's lying." Ivan looked at me with a sinister grin. "Can we do things my way now?"

"My bet is there's six more." Finally, I made her neck explode, separating her head from her body. The adrenaline of the torture session finally faded, and I felt my stomach lurch as the true horror of the sight and smell hit me.

"Hey... you aren't looking too good..." I heard Ivan say before I promptly turned and vomited onto the floor, tears flowing out of my eyes.

"Ugh... I, *BLAAaararrrrghhh* Vomiting again. I spent the next ten minutes emptying my stomach of their contents, before I finally fell backwards against the wall, exhausted.

Ivan shook his head, an odd torn smile on his face. "You get used to it after awhile."

"You sir are all manner of fucked up. Well... there's goes my experimentation into torture. Not doing that again....." I retorted.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah." He picked up the meat in a haze of magic. "Seriously, do you have any butter?"

"Guh, in.. the pantry..... mind cleaning this all up?"

"Sure." He was FAR too happy about that concept. I just brutally tortured and murdered someone, and he was happy because he got to eat the leftovers. Something is VERY wrong with Ivan. The look in his eyes was all passion, like he lived for this. What's more...... why did I do that? That's not who I am, why did I do that?

"Heh. Broken little pretty boy. Kick him for me, now that I've left....."

The voice was audible. It echoed through the bloodied room, making my eyes shoot open in shock. I was immediately alert again, my wings flared out as I searched for the voice. "Who's there?" Ivan walked over to me and wiped a bit of blood off of me before hugging me. "Ivan... who......"

The zebra uttered a single word, which resonated throughout my entire body.

"Malice."

Author's Note

To all of you who are wondering, Malice is the evil spider that lives in Ivan's head. Also, Griffin the griffin is taking a darker turn now. You all may be looking at this and wondering why there is no gore tag. Well, that's because soon, and I mean very soon, Griffin the griffin, Part A, will be over. I will be making a NEW fic, mature, with the gore tag, for part B. Why you ask? Because with his slow descent into madness, Griffin is going to become a VERY bad boy. You were all asking who the villain of the story is. Guess what? At least for a while it will be, but first there's going to be a lot of stuff as to why he goes that way. Don't like it? Oh well....

The Happening (99)

The Happening

"Malice?"

"Are you ok?" He asked, an odd tone in his voice. It was flightly, like he was ready to jump at a moment's notice.

"No Ivan, I am not. Thoughts... in chaos.... I feel.... bad..... what?" I shook my head. "Malice? Damn it think! Okay... Who... is Malice?"

He looked away guiltily. "Uh... headache?"

"No..... drug addiction. I just drank some damn it! Wait... is.... is it affecting, OTHER than the withdraw? Never mind. Who is Malice?"

He grinned awkwardly, it stretching too far. "If I said you might've been possessed, would you hurt me?"

"Is it your fault?"

"Er..." He shrugged. "I didn't mean to, but maybe?"

"Erh..... is.. fine. Didn't mean to. I've learned.... let accidents go. Damn...." I reached into my pouch and pulled out a 'mana' potion, then downed it so my thought would be clear enough to not speak in broken english. The haze surrounding my mind, as though I had just been hit with a flashbang, began to subside as my mind gained coherence.

Ivan squelched away from the gore clinging to the both of them. "Try not to scream?"

"Why would I?"

"Think over what has happened so far. Tell me if anything doesn't add up. I'll do the same, and if you want to kill me, just let me know."

"Okay..... meet Ivan, get good feeling. Spend time, had fun, meet Ivan, explode myself, meet Catastrophe, relax on beach, assassin poison, Catarstophe get's hurt, I go crazy..... Either I got some of that poison in me or Catastrophe got me possessed. What the hell is she?"

"Cata? She's a panthergriff." He shuffled. "Malice is a god spider."

"Then... I... I had a spider... in my head.... and what I'm feeling now are cobwebs?"

He nodded. "Mental fragments from your shattered will." He shrugged. "Cobwebs, if it makes you feel better about yourself."

I sat there still for a time, before the smell of the carnage I had wrought hit me and I rushed out of the room. "Okay... next question, why?" I asked as I braced myself against the wall, taking deep breaths.

He looked away and whistled. "Because I saved your life." Ivan stopped cold, looking around.

"Outofmyheadoutofmyheadoutofmyhead. If you do not get out of my head RIGHT now I will hellfire all over the place and have it run right back along your magic connection. I don't care if you're a god, it'll still hurt like a bitch!" I glared at the wall, having nothing to target my hate and disgust at. Malice responded by blasting images into my head of spiders fleeing.

"Spoilsport." Ivan rolled his eyes.

"Let's keep going." He walked away without anymore explanation, his hooves leaving bloody tracks on the floor.

"Why, was the spider, which lives in YOUR head, crawling around in MINE?!" I yelled.

"It liked you." He said nonchalantly.

All I could do was cringe. "And... the thing, that made me do that, that made me WANT to do THAT, is in your head, ALL THE TIME?"

He nodded. "Yup." He replied without a care in the world.

It was at that moment, everything sank in. It was as though the most base comprehension of a subject had been so far beyond my understanding, and suddenly mastery of it was child's play. Everything clicked, and fit into place. Malice, the spider in Ivan's head, the one who brought him here, did so for some fell purpose, and is doing anything he can to ensure his little pawn survives. He's surrounded by the bloodthirsty who will protect him with their lives, while, other than knowing some magic, he himself is meek and appears innocent. Nobody expects him to be the most dangerous one of all, which is how he's survived. He looks at those around him as tools to use, and nothing more. He'd throw their lives away in an instant, and do so with no regret after the fact.

What's more, he doesn't even know he's doing it. The spider has twisted him so much that his reality has been blurred, and everyone around him becomes tangled in his web. I was manipulated into having 'good feelings' whenever I was around him, which distracted me from what he was saying. He accidentally killed someone, was sent here, and wound up in chains. He acts innocent, but it cruel and heartless. He is a psychopath in every sense of the word. A remorseless murderer, who used pity to make me harbor him. He's a danger to himself and everyone around him, and Malice tugs on his little web, making those around him help him to survive, only to be thrown away when they're no longer useful. He's a walking calamity. At that moment, I became certain of what needed to be done. I was positive. I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life, and I knew I had to succeed.

"Ivan......." I paused. He turned to look at me with the same icy cold glare, the gaze of someone who truly had something broken inside, which disturbingly reminds me of what I see when I look in a mirror.

"Are you okay?" He asked sweetly. It sickened me, how fake it was.

"Ivan, you need....... to DIE."

Ivan blinked and instantly transitioned into blind panic. "What?" He started to back away.

"That thing lives in you, and to get rid of it, you need to die." I slowly began walking towards him. No hate, no anger in me. Simply cold, calculating. He needs to die. He needs to die. He needs to die. He needs to die. Singular in purpose, perfect in form. Nothing is standing between us.

"You seem... Broken... Angry? Want to talk about it?..... W-we don't have to fight..... please?" He stuttered. He begged. My only response was a single word.

"Infernus....." My claws and paws became alight with dark flame as I continued stepping towards him. He backed away further, before gasping in fear as he backed into the wall. "It's..... nothing personal......."

He growled, his eyes switching from scared to angry. "I will not lose here. Not while you have her." His eyes began to glow.

"She'll be fine. Once you're gone, she'll be free from the misfortune that follows you. I'll see to it personally."

He shook. "Shut up. I'll kill you. Don't get closer. Back off." I didn't. I kept walking forwards. A wave of magic came forward, but instead of it's intended effect, it merely caused the flames at my feet to flare up temporarily. "Get... get back! I'll kill you!" His eyes were harsh, cold, intense. The eyes of a murderer. Mine may very well have been glazed over.

"We already saw how well that worked." I replied, emotionless.

He seemed at a loss for what to do. I knew it was a bluff. His skill lay in magic. Not much that can do against these flames. "Why are you doing this?" He asked, seeing his bluff fail.

"As if you don't know."

He collapsed against the wall, tears falling. Fake tears, by the way. As if I'd be fooled by that after the display he just gave. He trembled as I reached forward with my enflamed claw. A simple poke should be enough. It'll kill him, and burn away the demon living in him. And that'll be it.

"I'm... I'm not a bad... Guy....... I... just want to be safe....." He whimpered pathetically. "Sera, I'm sorry."

"GRIFFIN!" Much to my surprise, I was tackled from the side, the shock causing me to lose my hold on the spell which made it dissipate. I hissed and growled, only to find that it was Gilda who had knocked me over, right before she planted a fist into my forehead, dazing me. My vision was blurred, and I couldn't find my balance. I was all woozy all over, but I could hear voices fine, and saw blurs in the colours of the griffin and zebra.

Ivan blur stood up. "Need to get out. I'm out. I need... He's not right. I need out. Out. Need out. Cata..... How is Catastrophe?" His voice shook, and he sniffled pathetically.

"This way.... She'll be fine, but, I think you need to get off the ship. He's always been.... mentally unstable. Whatever happened must have screwed him up good." Gilda-blur replied. No..... nonono! He needs to die! Gilda, you have to kill him! Don't let him fool you!

"I'm out. I just. No." He was scrambling for words. "Tell him I hope he gets better, and that maybe... Just... Ask him why? Why?" He turned to me, no longer crying, close enough that I could see the grin on his face that was far too similar to the grin Light-Yagami wore when L died. "Why?" He asked again. You know damn well why! You need to die damn it! "I... I love her. Why would you take that from her?" Don't guilt trip me you bastard!

"No! Gilda! He's..... kill.... him...... He... needs....." With that, she opened a vial of knockout gas and waved it in front of my face, then closed it back up.

He jerked away from Gilda. "I... Just wanted to... Help..." He growled. "Malice saved him." Once I had heard that, the gas took effect, and all was dark except evil laughter, laughter that tormented me with every sound.

In my unconsciousness, I dreamed. I dreamed of terrible, terrible things. I heard dark and terrible screams, and what I saw..... I found myself in a great chamber, which pulsed and oozed, as though it were alive. It was a long hallway, ribbed and slimy. Across the tube which could only be described as the inside of someone's intestines, was a great web. Within the web were hundreds upon hundreds of flies, and on it, was a spider of titanic proportions. It was a black widow, wore a top hat, and used a cane to poke at one of the trapped flies, which elicited a scream in response.

"Well? Have anything to say?" The spider asked moving it's mandibles, dripping with venom, before he sank them into the screaming sack, which was soon silenced. I screamed. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed.

"What a wonderful sound." I suddenly found that my beak was covered in the sticky web. I could barely breathe, and started squirming and struggling to rip the gag off. In response to my struggles, the spider simply covered me in more web, till I was all wrapped up, with only my head sticking out. It pulled me in with a line of web as I screamed through the gag, tears flowing from my eyes. He stuck me on a line of web, and that was when I was struck by the true horror. In those web sacks, were not flies. I could see their shapes, and their heads stuck out. They.... were ponies. Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, griffins, diamond dogs, dragons, snake things, cats, like Nadene, and, in the center of the web, directly under the spider, was a zebra. It was Ivan. This spider.... to it, WE were the flies.

"I saved you you know. I sent the spider in your coffee, to warn you of events to come. I gave you the strength to learn what you needed from that assassin, and weakened their honed mind to the point that it would break. She was telling the truth, that final time, and you killed her anyway. It..... was beautiful. And how do you thank me? You rejected me. You tried to kill my pawn in this game, and you THREATENED ME! Where are your brave words now?"

Despite the fact that my mouth was covered and I couldn't talk, even if I could, I would have been able to do nothing but cry and whimper.

"As I thought. A shame too.... you could have been so useful. Now, I'm afraid you're a danger to my plans, and I'll have to be rid of you." The spider crawled over to me, along it's web, and perched itself above me. It looked straight into my eyes with it's own before precariously perching each of it's fangs on my shoulders, one on either side of it's head. The venom dripping from it was burning a hole straight in my web sack. The spider hissed, reared back, and prepared to bite.

MALICE! Another voice boomed, so loudly that it threw the spider off guard, and the entire cavern shook.

"No! This can't be!"

"YOU KNOW WELL THE RULES OF THE GAME! RELEASE HIM!" The voice boomed again. The spider... Malice, actually seemed terrified of this newcomer. The webs surrounding me caught alight with black flames, dropping me to the ground as the rest of the web began to burn.

"No! No!" Malice cried, furiously trying to patch up the web while I scuffled backwards away from it. In attempting to patch it, his leg caught alight and began to burn. In an act of desperation, he used his massive fangs to bite off his own leg, then severed about a third of his web to stop the rest from burning.

"Let that be a lesson to you...."

I have no idea who the greater voice was, but I don't think I've ever been more thankful to anything or anyone in my entire life.

As for you, little Griffin, now is the time to awake, and..... see you soon.....

I awoke gasping for breath, in a cold sweat, shaking and shivering all over. Is.... is that what it's like when gods go to war? Everything is..... I shook my head and tried to get my breathing under control. I stumbled out of bed, falling several times before I reached the intercom, and practically smashed it before I was able to get someone on the other end.

"He... help me!"

"Hold on Griffin, we're coming now." Cable's voice on the other end was calm, but did little to reassure me. Soon enough, there was a rush of footsteps, my door opened, and Gilda, Nadene, and Geirmund were standing there looking at me. I was a complete wreck, huddled up under the PA box, eyes shot wide open, fetal position and everything. Wow, I'm pathetic. And now I'm doing a self pity party thing. Damn it all. I am NOT gonna become an emo!

"Griffin... what the hell happened? First you tried to kill Ivan for no reason, and now you wake up looking like you got dragged through a spider web." At her mention of spider, I screeched and dove across the room from where I was, to the opposite corner. It took nearly an hour to get me to calm the hell down, and when I did....

"Ivan needs to die."

"What?"

"He really DOES have a spider in his head. He is possessed by Malice. Gilda, we were manipulated. What I saw when I was asleep.... ponies.... griffins, diamong dogs, dragons, and dozens of other species, millions of people, in a spider web. He was eating them Gilda..... They were screaming in fear and agony and he was eating them. And he tried to eat me! He was so close, but then there was, this voice, it was so angry, and..... Malice was afraid.... I don't know if I want to meet anything that can scare that thing, but it said 'see you soon'. I'm scared Gilda. I am fucking scared. And that's not the half of it."

"I... don't understand."

"The reason I've been having such a good feeling about Ivan, is because that damn spider had me on the end of his web and was tugging me. He made me get close, and then he went in MY head. I... the assassin, I tortured her. I made her body parts explode one at a time, and then I killed her. I thought she broke easy, and she did, because the spider did that too. I LIKED doing it Gilda.... and.... then Malice jumped ship... and suddenly, good feeling gone. I saw Ivan for what he was."

"Which is?"

"A murderer Gilda. We may have killed people, but we always did it for a reason. Him..... he just does it. He doesn't care, not even slightly, about the pain he causes others. He seems innocent, and afraid, but he's a monster Gilda, and he has that thing living inside him. He needs to die. He HAS to die." I sat there in silence for a time, to allow what I had said to sink in. That was when Gilda surprised me.

"Grif.... he's a hero."

"What?"

"While you were out, we found the other assassins. There were three of them. Ivan killed them, and after he did it, he told me that there were ships coming to attack. The assassins were just there to take out the defenses. Seven ships Grif. Seven, and not rust buckets. Honest warships. They dropped out of the clouds and started shooting. We sank them before they fired their third volley. He saved everyone's lives Grif. We may have been fine on the ship, but the town would have been defenseless. His warning gave us time to prepare. We moved everyone into the clouds. About half the town is gone, but nobody died. We can rebuild, especially with the materials we got from the ships we knocked down. He saved everyone's lives. Then he left, saying it's too bad about whatever is going on in your head, and he hopes you get better. Grif, he left because he thought HE was the problem, and didn't want you to get any worse!" I sat there in shock. Pure and utter shock.

"But.... Malice.... he IS the problem! He needs to die Gilda!"

"Grif.... I.... I think it's time you take Celestia up on her offer. You have problems, and up until now they haven't been an issue but..." She let out a sad sigh. "You tortured that dog, not some unholy spider, you. You can't put the blame on anything else. And then I come in here and see you quaking like a leaf, pale as a ghost. You're sick Grif. You're very very sick, and it's tearing me up seeing you like this. You need help." Doesn't she get it? She hasn't seen what I've seen! She.. she.... she doesn't believe me. None of them believe me! And what's worse, they have every right! If I hadn't seen what I've seen, if I hadn't seen the look of pure glee he had when I tortured the assassin, if I hadn't seen him drop his mask of helplessness and threaten to kill me, with that glare in his eyes, if I hadn't seen any of that, I'd think I was crazy too..... I'm not crazy.... am I?

"Gilda...... let's go to Canterlot."

Griffin's Mind (ERMAHGERD! One Hundred)

Griffin's Mind (Also known as the ridiculously long chapter with loads of character development. Also Youtube videos. Stop spamming them with comments. Yes, you all love the fic, but I don't think the rest of Youtube appreciates it, [not nearly as much as I do anyways, thanks for the support by the way] and when the top comment is a Griffin related thing, it prevents other, relative comments from taking that spot, and may possibly get the vid taken down for copyright infringement because I don't have the permission of the creator or the one who posted it,[who knows how that even works amirite?] which means broken links, which means I have to find another copy of the video, and it's a huge pain in the flank for everyone involved) Without further adieu, (and before this wall of text burns your eyes out) let's begin the finale!

As the ship approached the Equestrian capitol, I had nothing to say. I remained silent nearly the entire trip from Signal. Honestly, what can you say when you know you're likely headed to a mental institution? I ate my meals, groomed myself, and slept. I wasn't really in the mood to do much else. What I was really hoping for was a mindless, monotonous task to fill the time and take my mind off what would likely happen. That was when Surprise came in.

"Hey....." She lacked her usual bounce, although her mane was still poofy as ever.

"Hey."

"I know it's a little soon for a get well soon party, but, I thought you might like some balloons." Where she got party supplies on this ship, I'll never know. Possibly one of the entrances to hammer space I theorize Pinkie hid all over the ship. She had filled my entire room with helium balloons. Still, that reminded me of something I needed to do.

"Would.... you mind sticking around of a bit? I have something mindnumbingly boring I need to do, and I could use someone to distract me from it." she nodded as I took out a paper and began writing.

"Rab. Rac. Rad. Rae...I messed up my calculations, I forgot that some syllables have two vowels.... Raf. Rag. Rah. Rai. Raj. Rak.... stupid flying bird things, Borderlands was fun.... Ral. Ram.... Ford's are better, Ran....... I got nuthin, Rao. Rap... eugh, that is NOT considered music, Raq, Rar... still not paying for a WinRar license, Ras, Rat, nah, mice are cuter, come here Whiskers, Rau. Rav. Raw, nah, well done, medium rare if you must... Rax, Ray, Raz. Well, that's 'RA' done, now for 'RE'."

I kept at it for hours, all the while focusing on the balloon and willing it to pop, and anytime the mess of syllables I was churning out ended up being a real word, I'd comment on it, sometimes bringing a giggle from Surprise, and other times confusion, in which she'd put on this 'thinking face' that was absolutely adorable. She'd stick out her bottom lip and tilt her head to the side, press one ear against her head, and look up out of the corners of her eyes. She looked like a... well... when you confuse a dog, except more adorable. I found myself Idly stroking her mane, running my claw through it, twirling it in her curls. Nothing romantic, just, friends I guess. Still, throughout the long hours of the night, I kept going.

"Ramet. Rameu. Ramev. Ramew. Ramex *pop*.... wait........................... what?" I glanced at the balloon I had been half focused on between all my other tasks. It had burst, snapping me out of my reverie. It's broken husk laid on the floor, and like a dying animal, it slowly lost the air in it's rubberized lungs. Surprise, who had long since fallen asleep due to my ceaseless brushing, had been awoken by the noise.

"Ramex?" Another balloon popped. "Ramex." And a third. Surprise was now looking around in wonder.

"Is that what you were trying to do? Why would you want to pop balloons?" She pondered. I got a wicked smile. I drew more energy from the gems set in my wings for a wide scale version of the spell.

"Ramex." This time, a multitude of the balloons burst, releasing their gaseous content into the confines of the room. The cacophony of bursts bringing a smile to both our faces.

"Hey, that was pretty coooooooooool. Hey! This makes my voiiiiiice sound weiiiird!" Right, silly me, release about fifty balloons worth of helium into an enclosed room. Of course, everyone knows what happens if you breathe helium, and if you don't, get out from under that rock and get some. And, just as everyone should know what happens to your voice, everyone should also know what happens when you hear the voice. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyways, we broke down into unending fits of giggles. Soon, we were rolling around on the floor, laughing in high octave. I took the last balloon, the sole survivor of the rubber massacre, and held him before me. Taking a marker from my desk, I drew a face on the balloon.

"Mr. Wilkinson. Your time has come. Your death will bring about great scientific discovery. Any last words?" I strained to make my voice as deep as possible.

"Noooooo, please! I have a balloon wife and family!" I turned back to using the voice insects commonly have in media.

"Ramex." Instead of focusing on a burst, I instead intended for it to simply make a rupture on one side. The spell performed as I expected, making a small hole in the side opposite me, allowing the contents of the balloon to leak out slowly.

"Noooooooo help me!" 'Mr.Wilkinson' cried as he slowly shrank and withered. Surprise and I both laughed at the balloon man's apparent torment. Hmm..... it leaked slowly, but I wasn't using a claustra spell on it.... I'll have to test it using the actual spell combination to figure out whether or not it'll work.... heh, work. If I'm in the loony bin, I won't have to worry about work any more. Or fighting. Or running my own country. Or getting offed by psycho humans....

"What's the matter?" Surprise asked when she noticed I wasn't laughing, but instead wore a sad frown. The helium had also started to wear off, as it was vented out.

"I just murdered all those balloons, and then tortured this one for science."

"Griffin..... they're balloons." She deadpanned.

"Yeah, but I've done the same thing to living diamond dogs. I feel..... I feel like the man who invented the bomb." I left out 'nuclear'. "He created the science behind it to do good, but others took it and used it to kill thousands, maybe even millions. He was not responsible for the part it played in their deaths, but he still felt responsible. Surprise, I used my knowledge specifically to create weapons, in order to kill people, many of which are guilty of no crime other than being afraid of the evil that rules them. I have become death."

"No you haven't silly." She looked at me sternly. "When po...people die, it's always sad, but, you're doing it to make people happy. Yeah... I wish there was another way to do it, but the big mean meany heads have done a lot worse than you have, and you gave them all a chance to do the right thing and be happy. Something I learned a long time ago is you can't make everyone happy. So.... did you do all you could to help them?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you do EVERYTHING you could to try and settle it peacefully?"

"No, but Celestia and Luna did, and countless others have tried. Peace isn't something I'm good at. If they want peace, they know what they need to do...."

"Well then, being all mopey wopey and feeling the guilty guts isn't going to change anything. You couldn't have done anything differently. You've saved a lot of people who would have died, and slowly, the world is changing."

"You know.... I know a song. It's sung as a duet. One side is talking about all the sad stuff, and the other is talking about all the happy stuff, and I think it describes our situation pretty well."

"Oh, can we sing it?"

"Given the way magic works with songs in this world.... I've been wasting my time with Musica a memoria. I've noticed even if I play the song by gem, the crowd already knows all the words..... All I have to do is start it, and it'll take off on it's own. Well, that's the theory anyways. Wanna try some science?" She nodded, and I began humming a few bars.

My Eyes/ On the Rise
Dr. Horrible's sing Along Blog.
Why yes, it IS time for you all to squee
The parts in normal are sung by the male, (Griffin) and the parts in brackets are sung by the female, (Surprise)

Any dolt with half a brain, can see that everyone has gone insane,
to the point where I don't know, if I'll upset the status quo,
if I throw poison in the watermain.

Listen close to everybody's heart, and hear that breaking soooound,
hopes and dreams are shattering apart, and crashing to the grouuuuund.

I cannot believe my eyes, how the world's filled with filth and lies,
but it's plain to seeeeeeeeeeee, evil inside of me,
is on the riiiiiiise.

(Looook around, we're living with the looooost and found.)
(Just when you feel you've aaaaalmost drowned, you find yourself on sooooolid ground.)

(And you believe there's good, in everybody's heart.)
(Keep it safe and soooound)
(With hope, you can do your part, to turn a life arooooound.)

(I cannot believe my eyes, is the world finally growing wise?)
(Cuz it seems to meeeee, some kind of harmony......)
(Is on the riiiiiiise.)

Anyone with half a brain (Take it slow)
Could spend their whole life howling in pain (He looks at me and seems to know)
Because the dark is everywhere (The things that I'm afraid to show,)
and no one ever seems to care, (and suddenly I feel this glow)
that soon the dark in me is all that will remain.

(And I believe)
Listen close to everybody's heart, (there's good in everybody's heart)
and hear that breaking souuuund (keep it safe and souuuund.)

hopes and dreams (With hope, you)
are shattering apart (can do your part)
and crashing to the grouuund (to turn a life arouuund.)

I cannot believe my eyes (I cannot believe my eyes,)
How the world's filled with filth and lies (how the world's finally growing wise)
But it's plain to seeee
(and it's plain to seeee)
Evil inside of me
(rapture inside of me)
Is on the riiiiiise (is on the riiiiise)

"Heh... will you look at that.... didn't have to cast a spell or anything..... well now I fell kinda stupid. I should have just tried that to begin with....."

"Well, not really. It doesn't do it all the time. Only when you really feel something a lot. What are you feeling right now?" Surprise asked me.

"I guess.... I'm feeling a lot of things. I'm kinda happy, and we had fun with the balloons, and then content, just brushing your mane, and scared of what the future holds, and nervous about getting help for my... problems, and mad that Gilda didn't take my word for it with Ivan, and worried about myself, and what if I don't get better, or what if there really ISN'T as much wrong with me as I thought, and when I come out of it, will I be the same? How will I have changed? I guess I'm feeling a lot of different things. And... I'm thankful you're here. The others, they listen to my problems but, they don't really know how to relate well, er, that's not it... maybe they're dealing with the same kind of thing, and they haven't found the answer either?" I don't really know, I've been grasping at straws lately.

"As long as you're true to yourself, you don't have anything to worry about." No. Not THAT speech. I can't believe how cliché that is! And how fitting it is too.

"That's the problem Surprise. That's the problem..."

We arrived at Canterlot and docked the ship near the castle. The guards knew better than to bar our entry, though we DID have to wait our turn for a hearing in the court. When Celestia saw me come in, she actually looked relieved. Stuffy nobles probably made her want to fill her ears with honey and let the bees have a shot at them. She quickly had the court room cleared out so we could have our privacy.

"Sir Griffin. What a pleasant surprise. You didn't write a letter saying you would be coming. To what do I owe this pleasure?" She said in her 'official' tone, making sure to include my knightly title. I suddenly became VERY interesting in knowing how many specks of dirt were on the floor tile in front of me. None. Blasted Canterlot ultra cleanliness. She seemed to pick up the mood though, and switched to a more motherly tone.

"Griffin, what's wrong?" I looked up to see her now standing rather close to me. I didn't even see her get up, much less move across the room. She was looking right into my eyes. I really didn't want to do this. It's like every sin was laid bare, and she was judging me for all of them. It's the worst possible thing. Like when your parents aren't mad just, 'disappointed' and somehow that's even worse, and I hadn't even told her anything yet! How do the nobles even stand next to her, let alone give her their petty complaints? Don't they know who she is? What she is? She's the living embodiment of the friggin SUN!

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. My breathing became laboured, and I started hyperventilating as I felt sweat start pouring down my face and back. I stared at her with my eyes wide, and at that moment, I wanted to do nothing more than run. Flee. Get out of there. I took a tentative step back, before I suddenly found a gold clad hoof on my shoulder, and her look, although it had not changed, now brought about a different emotion entirely.

Care.

No longer was it the scornful look of a judge, or the disappointed look of a parent. It was the worried look of a friend.

"Griffin?" She asked me again. This time, Gilda moved up to my side, followed by Trixie, Surprise, and Nadene. Steelhorn looked on with crossed arms from the doorway, not wanting his imposing stature to... well... impose. Being nudged forwards, I looked into Celestia's eyes with tears threatening to escape my own.

"Your highness.... I need..... help." The fact that I called her 'your highness' instead of 'princess' or just 'Celestia' must have gotten her attention, because she quickly moved to my side and draped a wing over my back. That, or the fact that I was standing there, crying in the middle of her throne room. That might have had something to do with it.

"Grif, we'll be in town for a few days getting supplies. We'll..... be around, but I think right now you need some privacy." And with that, Gilda left, followed by the rest of them. I looked back longingly before the sun queen ushered me into a back room so we could chat without any other ears.

She brought me into a cozy room. Bookshelves, fireplace, (which was quite welcome in the cool fall air) a couple couches, one of which she had me lay down on, while she took the other, and brought out a platter with a pair of teacups and a teapot. She poured two cups, then sat there in silence, waiting for me to begin. When I didn't, and hadn't even made a move for the tea, she decided to begin.

"I..... see that you've.... changed somewhat since I last saw you. Twilight mentioned you had been injured but..."

"The dragon from the gala tore off my wing and ate it in front of me when I tried to stop her from destroying the world. I succeeded, and freed her from her personal demons, one of which was a literal demon, and she basically said 'oh well, shit happens' and left. She maimed and hospitalized me for a month when I helped her, and didn't give a damn."

"I.... see...."

I went on to explain everything that had happened over the past while, from Nadene drugging me, right up to Ivan being possessed by a spider.

"You mean Malice?" Wait, SHE knows about him too? That means..... I didn't imagine it! I'm not crazy! Okay, I mean Ivan told Gilda he had Malice, but didn't explain what he was or anything.

I nodded. "And then it possessed ME because it 'likes me' and I tortured an assassin to learn how many more were on the island. And then it left me and I spilled my guts all over the floor. I tried to kill Ivan, but he escaped and wound up saving the entire island from invaders, all the while Malice tried to eat my soul, which was terrifying enough, and I got saved by.... something..... that scares the shit out of me, and the worst part is nobody believes a word of it."

"It seems like you've had a busy two months. If Malice has returned that indeed IS a problem, not one you can deal with. Leave 'Ivan' to us." She didn't even bring up that I tortured someone. Then again, since Malice ISN'T just something my mind made up to excuse my actions, using my incessant fear of spiders as a medium, she can probably understand that I was less in my right mind than usual.

"At least you believe me. When an evil spirit makes it's home in your head because it likes you, there is something seriously wrong with you. Remember that night on the ship? I'm taking you up on your offer. I had problems before, but they were nothing I couldn't handle. I can't handle them anymore." I let out a sigh of defeat. Admitting you need help is not easy to do.

Celestia let out a sigh of relief, then looked to me and smiled. "I'm glad. I could tell from before that you were steadily declining. I am happy you came to me before you reached the point of no return. I'd like you to stay at the castle for observation. We have the finest medical facilities, and staff as well. I'll bring in the best psychologist I know, Mind Mender, to go over your case and build a profile."

"Yeah... thanks..... I'm kinda bummed that I won't be able to continue my research..."

"What were you working on?"

"Oh, a bit of everything. Spells, spell combinations, some science projects."

"Well.... you could always continue your work here in Canterlot. You'd have access to more resources than you did on your ship, proper testing facilities. You've done a great deal with very little. I'm certain you could add a fair bit to the scientific community..... if you want to."

"Actually.... I don't think I should. A lot of the things I've discovered are.... not so nice." She raised an eyebrow at that remark, and I felt trepidation all over again. I knew I'd have to explain now, there wasn't any choice. Didn't mean I wanted to.

"Irreversible mind control, magic torture, magic assassination, stuff that could allow unicorn elitists to enslave others, stuff that would make every pegasus be able to obliterate cities, and earth ponies able to shatter steel. I can make an explosion of Rainboom equivalency, and I've yet to perfect the technique. In a word... I've weaponized magic. It's not anything ponies should have knowledge of. Even testing it would cause trouble."

"Yet you've trained your crew to use these techniques?" I nodded sadly. "And they haven't abused them?" I shook my head no. "What makes you so certain that they will be abused? Ponies are a peaceful sort."

"You clearly haven't been to Stalliongrad lately." I huffed.

"Apparently not....." She pondered.

She got me a room in the castle, nothing too fancy, although it was a fair bit better than my sleeping quarters on the ship, it was still only a guest room. I stayed the night and woke the next morning feeling slightly better, but still rather depressed about my whole situation. Basically I had to accept that I was slowly going crazy, and I couldn't help myself. The room had a nice view of the gardens, and I was allowed to keep my wing as long as I didn't hurt anyone with it. They weren't worried about me trying to escape. I DID come there on my own after all. I was scheduled to meet 'Mind Mender' later in the afternoon, but for now, I had some time. I decided to pay Discord a visit.

"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogroves,
and the mome raths, outgrabe."

"I always liked that poem. So..... confusing." The spirit in the stone replied. "So, why are you here, oh illustrious captain?" He said with mock praise.

"I'm coming to give you some news I think you'll both enjoy hearing, and despise. I've gone crazy. Woohoo. Yay me. Also, I'm not going to be making a ruckus anymore because I'm going to be getting help and fixing the fucked up ball of meat I call my brain."

The spirit of disharmony let out a disappointed sigh. "Well, I suppose we can't ALL wear madness as well as I do, after all, nopony else makes it look quite so stylish." He paused in his self indulgent gloating. "I guess there's nothing left but to hope you get ill soon." And with that, the spirit went quiet, and I returned to my room.

"Hello. Griffin?" A couple hours had passed, me just laying on my bed, deep in thought, before I was interrupted by the smooth sounding voice of a rather old stallion. He wore a suit and tie, had a pen and clipboard, a long, thin beard, and those half glasses. You know, stereotypical shrink look. A beige coat with a brain made of puzzle pieces for a cutie mark completed his purposefully boring image.

"Yeah... come on in doc....." I said to the pony at the door without moving.

"I'm Mind Mender. Princess Celestia mentioned you needed help?"

"I do. Lately... everything feels like it's falling apart at the seams. Nothing's going right. It's all gone wrong and I have no idea what to do about it. Have you ever been so certain of something, that you'd bet your life on it, and it turned out you were wrong? Or, maybe you really are right, but everyone around you says you're wrong, so you start to believe it yourself?" He sat on the chair to the side of the bed, and listened as he began writing.

"Well.... as long as you're true to yourself, no doubt can take root in your heart. Doubt is what leads to fear and mistrust, and as long as you know who you are, no seed of doubt can be planted."

"That's just it!" I raised my voice. "I DON'T know who I am! I think I do but I have no idea at all who I am deep inside!"

"Explain." A single word was his reply.

"I think I'm smart, witty, funny, charming, strong, brave, kind, selfless.... and I do everything I can to make that true. I discover new things, reinvent old things, make others laugh, sing, I help the helpless, and protect the weak. I free the enslaved and save the doomed. I dive headfirst into the fray with not an ounce of fear or trepidation, not a single sign of hesitation or nervousness. All my life, I was hated because of things that were beyond my control, so I try so hard to do good things, and make others like me, and it worked for a while, but lately, I feel like it's not good enough. I've started failing those around me, and I've forced them to deal with MY problems."

"I think I know what you're saying. You're thinking that if you make yourself legendary, then those around you won't abandon you. Is that right?" He asked, the very definition of calm, while I was laying there getting all emotional.

"That's exactly it!"

"And why do you feel like they'll abandon you if you don't?"

"Because...." I paused. "It's what everyone else does."

"Now I'm sure not....."

"And when I say 'everyone' I do mean EVERYONE. I know people say, 'nobody 'always' does this, or 'never' does that, and I'm sure not 'everyone' is like that. That's just exaggeration. I am telling you that LITERALLY everyone I EVER knew in my life before I came to Equestria HATED me. The only ones who didn't mindlessly despise me where those who didn't know me. So, if people don't know me, if I blend in, then they can't hate me. How can they hate me if they can't even see me?"

"So..... you try to be amazing to make others like you, while blending in at the same time?" ..... No.... that's just stupid. In fact, I'm going to let him know that.

"No, that's just stupid. The blending in came before. People tried to hurt me. They're called bullies. They hurt other people to make themselves feel better. According to everyone everywhere, just ignoring them makes them go away. Except it doesn't. I pretended it didn't hurt, that what they were doing didn't affect me at all. I pretended that I didn't care about anything, because if I didn't care about anything, there was nothing they could take from me, or destroy, that would hurt me. How do you hurt someone who doesn't care about anything? Physical pain? He doesn't care. Take what he loves? He loves nothing. And pretty soon, it wasn't an act anymore. I really didn't care about anything."

"I see.... so, you wore a mask so that others wouldn't know your face, and you forgot how to take the mask off. And you wore the mask for so long, you forgot what you look like under it?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I... guess that analogy makes sense...."

"Alright, continue. When did you start trying to be 'liked'."

"Well.... that didn't come yet either. I mean, the whole apathy thing worked, but every once in a while, something would get to me, you know? People started getting close. I started liking people. They started liking me. I was that kid that nothing got to, nothing bothered. A 'pillar of strength'. Nothing fazed me. Like a rock. And then.... they found the cracks in that rock. They found my weak spot, and they hit it as hard as they could. Apathy wouldn't work anymore, because then even though I wasn't trying to get close to them, they'd get close to me. They'd find out what would hurt me, whether finding that was their intent or not, and then they'd use it. And just like that, the mask crumbled." I started crying, remember the time that happened. That was when I had been so happy with MLP, and decided to share it with my 'friends', and they threw me away. They eventually forgot that I liked the show, and it didn't get out into the school, but now I was all alone again. They were all haters. I was the only brony in a town of haters. A fish in a shark pen.

"And you were laid bare to the world." Mind Mender answered.

"And then it started all over again. That image I had taken years to build just shattered right in front of me. There was nothing I could do to stop it. It hurt. It hurt so bad, and I became so angry. I started being angry at everyone. Teachers, parents, other kids, authority. Everyone was just part of the system that was making me miserable. I wanted to burn down the world. Turn it, and everything in it, to ashes and let it start over. Of course, I had no way of doing that, so I settled for my school system. All the popular kids. I made it my mission, my very reason for living, to make the ones who made me miserable PAY. To make them feel what I felt. But.... I couldn't. To do that, I had to be...."

"You had to be just like them. To hurt those who hurt you, you had to become what you hated." He finished my sentence. I nodded sadly.

"I couldn't do it. So, I decided I wouldn't let anyone get close. Nobody can hurt me if they can't get near me. So, I studied. I learned. I set about learning everything I could with such a great passion, all so I could get away. I learned how to survive on my own, so that when I was finally old enough to live on my own, I could do away with society and other people. I could throw the world away and live without it. I made sure I had nothing tying me down, so I could leave at a moment's notice. No friends to say goodbye to, not that I'd have any anyways. Owing nothing to anyone. No debts to pay that would hold me back."

"And you did this by?"

"By being a jerk. If I'm not fun to be around, nobody will be around me. If I'm mean, they'll leave me alone. Sure, I didn't go out looking for trouble, but when trouble found me, I made sure to send it running with it's tail between it's legs. The day before I came here, a trio of punks came, looking to make my life miserable. I curb stomped them. I didn't go find them, I wasn't looking for trouble, why couldn't they have just left me ALONE!"

"You sound like you regret it."

"Of course I do. Because I guess under the mask, that's not who I was. Not who I wanted to be."

"And then what happened?"

"Then I ran into an old man. Nothing stood out about him other than that he was old. It's like his entire body was designed to escape notice. I can't even remember what he looked like, his hair colour, anything. It's as though he could walk into an empty room and vanish. His presence causes people to look away, like nature itself shunned him. He asked me some questions, and sent me here. A fantasy land that nobody knew was real."

"Yes. It's already been explained to me the nature of 'Earth' and 'Equis' and their connection via the spirits."

"And then.... I ran into Gilda. Well, more like she ran into me. I was passed out. For no reason other than she 'felt like it' she saved my life, and stayed by me. I couldn't be apathetic, because that wouldn't work. I couldn't be angry, because that would drive her away. I didn't want her to leave. She showed me kindness, for no reason at all. I didn't want her to go."

"What about being yourself?"

"I don't even remember what that is. So.... I tried to be awesome. When she told me of the plight of her people, I felt like there was an entire race going who were going through what I did. An entire species of people just like me. And I got so mad. In my world, everything is set in stone. The world is stagnant. In order to do anything, you had to be extraordinary. Normal people are doomed. They grow up, go to normal school, get normal grades, and slave away at a normal job with normal wages till they're eighty, because nobody can retire at sixty-five anymore, and then they die, having made absolutely no difference in the world. Here? All you have to do is try, and you can do great things! With the knowledge from home, all those things I studied so I could live without society, here... I'd probably be considered a genius. I can DO something here, MAKE a difference. But, to do that, I needed to do one thing I never could."

"And that is?"

"Be liked. I had no idea who I was, so I became who I thought others wanted me to be. Funny, witty, charming, smart, strong, passionate... and that's great and all, except it's not who I am. As you said.... it's just a mask, which is why it's starting to fall apart. It's not the real me, and I can't keep it up forever. It'll fall apart, and.... I'm terrified of what happens when it does. When everyone finds out who I really am, are they going to hate me? Because of who I am? Or because I'm not who they thought I was? I finally found others who may not have liked the real me, but they at least liked the mask I wore, and I became so desperate, I couldn't bear to lose them. And I couldn't just take off the mask, for one, I don't know how, and two, if I did, they'd know I wasn't who they thought I was."

"So, you do everything to try and keep them from abandoning you, like the others, going so far as to forget who you really are, and the tighter you hold them, the more they slip away." All I could do is nod sadly.

"Well, Griffin, thank you. I think I understand a little better. Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"Oh... um.... I'm also addicted to dragon blood. I accidentally swallowed some when I was eaten by a dragon and had to cut my way out. Turns out it's addicting, and acts as a temporary magic enhancer, which is the reason I've had such a fast growth of magical ability. I... um, also think it might be changing my brain and causing some of my problems, but I don't know how to get OFF using it, since like, a couple drops is all it takes to get you addicted. If I don't get it at least once a month, I get shakes, cold sweats, nightmares, phantom aches, nausea, vertigo, lack of co-ordination, high blood pressure, tachycardia, loss in clarity of thought.... and I'm not sure what else."

"That's.... quite a list. How long have you been living with that?"

"About a year...."

"I see."

We talked a little every day, all the while, he took notes. I wasn't always as collected as I was that first day. Eventually, I got some visitors. Gilda, as well as Etch and his family, to be specific.

"Grif... we're all stocked up and will be heading out now." She said sadly.

"I guess... this is it then?"

"Yeah... until you get better at least." She frowned.

"If I do get better, I don't know if I'll want to keep doing this. I mean, Aoi is out there, and he's probably doing a hell of a lot better job than I am, and with you as the captain of the ship now, I don't really think I'm needed anymore. I got the ball rolling.... I don't know if I'm going to want to pick it back up. They say there's no rest for the wicked but, the same is true of heroes. I don't know if I want to be a hero anymore, because I'm getting pretty tired." Gilda and I shared an uneasy laugh.

"I just..." She sighed. "I'll come visit whenever I can, and I'll write to you too." I know the clichés. I know that when someone says that, eventually the letters and visits turn into just letters, and then the letters get less frequent, and finally stop coming all together. I really hope that isn't the case.

"Speaking of 'not doing this anymore' Etch?" She motioned to the dog and his family.

"Griffin, you gave me my life back, my family back... you gave me my everything. I thought about it a lot and, well.... I'm leaving the ship. I'm going to stay in Canterlot and act as a liaison to Marble Pillars for Equestria. You were right. I started this journey to find my family, and I've done that. Now.... they're the most important thing."

Grog walked up to me and pet me, like he did that time on the ship when I first met him. "Well, soon get."

"That's 'Get well soon.' Good try though." Etch corrected before the three of them left.

"I guess that's it then Grif... I... I'm.... I am..." Gilda looked on sadly and struggled with her words, like she was holding something back. "See you around." And then she left.

Psychological Evaluation of Griffin North.

Subject displays paranoia regarding relationships. Not to the fidelity of his partner, as he already knows, (and accepts) that his partner has relations with other members of the crew, and was in the process of overcoming his societal norms (monogamy) in exchange for the Equestrian version (Herd/flock mentality) as the request of several of his crew members. the paranoia comes from the belief that if he is not 'good enough' he will be abandoned by both romantic interests and friends alike. This stems from his upbringing.

As is standard in the hierarchy of needs, first is the physical needs. Food, water, sleep, and such. This stage has been fulfilled, as if it had not, he would not be alive.

Second is the need for safety. This is where the situation starts to turn. According to the client, he was often physically abused by an alcoholic father, as well as his peers, and while he never starved, he occasionally went hungry. This developed into a lifestyle of extreme over preparation and perfectionism. He feels that at any time something could happen to destabilize his current way of living, and studied zealously to prepare his mind for the coming danger, making numerous fail safe plans so that should his situation fail, he would survive the coming storm.

Third is the need for love and belonging, and while the previous need was partially supplied, this need is completely neglected. He was ostracized by his peers for no reason he is able to perceive, and despised by his parents due to the situation surrounding his birth. Despised by others, he hates himself, and has tried many times to change who he is in order to be liked by others, and as such, like himself. Of course, these fail, as he is trying to be something he is not.

As the previous need was not met at all, the fourth need, esteem, which is self respect and respect by others, cannot come to pass. This results in his obsession of keeping others near him, as he feels hopeless and inferior without others constantly reminding him of his value. Despite the fact that he would not be cast away, he still fears this, as the previous need has not been met, and he is wholly unable to trust.

Finally, self actualization. As the previous two needs have not been met, I am unsure as to how he has partially achieved this. He is creative and easily solves problems, to the point of being a borderline genius, and seems to lack prejudice, instead feeling he has been prejudiced against (which is somewhat accurate) instead of the other way around. He however does lack spontaneity, as he meticulously plans before taking action, his moral compass is skewed, and he often refuses to accept the facts of life, (which led to him becoming a revolutionary and actually changing the world, stemming from his denial of these facts, which in turn means they are not facts at all if they can be changed, and this point is moot.)

Overall, Griffin (the griffin) North is a very sick little colt. I say little colt because despite his cognitive development, his emotional state is that of a young child. He is prone to violence when he observes something he does not like (very much akin to a temper tantrum for not getting his way), he has separation anxiety, (extremely nervous about being alone, or distanced from those he has formed bonds with), feels a great deal of shame regarding himself, (guilty about events that occur out of his control) and has difficulty controlling his emotions, (retaliation for perceived slights, which were not intended to cause emotional distress, sings 'silly songs' when committing acts of extreme violence in order to take his mind off what he's doing).

Diagnosis

Griffin very clearly has a form of bipolar disorder, not stemming from brain issues, but rather upbringing. Just as the moods of children tend to fluctuate wildly, (which is not a disorder but a natural stage of life) so too does his own (which is NOT natural at his age) He also suffers from paranoia, arachnophobia (which seems to be completely unrelated) and addiction to the substance 'dragon blood'. Upon asking for clarification, he does indeed mean the vital fluid of dragons, which acts as a stimulant for the brainwaves related to magic that have been found in unicorns, as well as supplying the base source of thaumatic particles, and not the street name for crushed red poppies mixed with LSD, commonly used as a hallucinogenic, painkiller, and in some circumstances, aphrodisiac.

Treatment

Before the underlying personality disorder can be treated, first Griffin's addiction to dragon's blood must be broken. He states that it is highly addicting, possibly needing only 'a couple drops' to become fully addicted, the use symptoms including increase in magical potential, relaxation, excitement, and altered perception. The withdraw symptoms of which include shaking, cold sweat, nightmares, loss of thought clarity, loss of balance, loss of insight, headaches, nausea, vertigo, and many other symptoms.

Recommended Therapy.

Due to addictive properties, weaning the subject from the substance will be ineffective. It would be best to quit outright, and use curative magic to prevent harm to his brain and body while he works through the withdraw symptoms.

Once his addiction has been quashed, then he will require further assessment to determine correct course of treatment.

Doctor's Note:

This is by far the most complicated case I've ever seen. I do hope the other visitors to our world do not have such severe mental, cognitive, and personality issues. Though unlikely, I would hope that they would all submit themselves for psychiatric evaluation, in order to build a profile and establish a baseline for what is considered normal in their society, as currently there is no established model for me to compare against other than the existing pony psychological system. It is my sincere hope that the other, disguised members of his race would come forward before they reach this point.

I've got my work cut out for me with this one.

Mind Mender.

Well folks, that's it. Kinda of a let down ain't it? Griffin goes into therapy to fix his noggin, Etch and his family leave the ship, Gilda takes the crew off to continue the fight. They all say goodbye. That they'll meet each other again. And that's it. Well, except for the sequel. And the reason not much 'plot' is happening is because I'm building the characters. And despite the fact that the sequel WILL have gore in it, it's not gonna be just that. There's going to be a lot of looking at the past, like Trixie living on her own before she met the crew, what Nadene's life was like in the Vren tribe, Steelhorn's romance, with Brooke, how he lost his horn, just exactly WHAT Shimmer has been up to this whole time as to why she never makes appearances anymore... should be good.

Ho Ho Huh?

In light of the holiday season, I have decided to release chapter one of the sequel early. Here is the link to it. It might not be out yet, as I submitted it at 11:15 pm on Christmas eve, so I guess you'll all just have to wait for it to pass moderation.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/59466/falling-feathers

Take note that there will be both a Christmas and New Years themed chapter, however they will come after the event has taken place. Between getting ready for Christmas, completely remodeling my room, (part of my present) and just life in general, I've only got three chapters written so far. I'll most likely have the Christmas one by New Years, and the New Years one maybe a week after that. Also, I'm hoping to get on more of a weekly update schedule, in order to allow enough time for proper revision, in order to ensure quality. This is one sequel that I hope will turn out better than the original.

Well, This Is Original (1)

Well, This Is Original

"Piss off. I don't have time to deal with you punks, I'm late for a swirly with Danial, and then I've got my lunch time beating with Billy. I can pencil you in for a week from Tuesday." Yeah, I'm pretty much the school punching bag. Nobody does anything about it, and every time I try, I'm the one who ends up in trouble with the authorities. Not the police. The teachers, principal, and the worthless parents of these punks who think their little boys can do no wrong. They're used to getting away with everything, and it's gone to their heads. My parents are constantly punishing me for stuff I didn't even do. I get beat up at school, suspended for fighting back. I get grounded for a month, and the twats that started it get a new Xbox from their moms to make them feel better. My parents put me in ballroom dancing because they thought I'd hate it, then pulled me from it. Something about not wanting me to be a 'fancy footed pansy', which translates to 'You were supposed to hate it, if that's not happening it's over.' I still practice on my own, and it ain't ballroom. Shuffling. Stomp, and anything else with wubs. Another thing my parents hate me for, my music. Anyway, I'm getting off track here......

"Aw, look at the geek, trying to be a smartass." One of them said.

"Better than being a dumbass, like you. Which is a problem considering that's where your brain is." My attitude was met with a punch to the stomach. I'm a rather sarcastic person. Helps to deal with the pain.

"Not so tough now are you? ARE YOU?" Said one with spiky green hair.

"Pfft, I've been beat on so much, your pansy ass little punches don't even hurt anymore." I head butted him. Didn't hurt me. He fell over. Might be because I have a harder head, but is more likely to to him being piss drunk.

"You're gonna pay for that." Said a third.

"Nope, we're not on school grounds, the teachers ain't gonna save you, and the cops never come to this park."

"You're the one who needs saving." Said the first. He dove at me, and was met by a knee, right below the lungs. No coordination whatsoever. When you get hit a lot, you learn to avoid being hit. When you're physically weak, you learn to hit the spots that cause the most pain with the least force. Getting the wind knocked out of you hurts, I know first hand, so I can imagine what he was feeling. Combine that with being able to dodge like a pro due to the balance from my dance classes, and you got a whirlwind.

"You're gonna die Grif." The third, Carl, someone I despise particularly, pulled a knife and tried to stab. A very loose, twitchy, slow, drug induced stab. I corkscrewed my arm around his, placed the other on the inside of his shoulder, and dislocated it. No permanent damage, but hurts like hell. I cracked my neck, and gave him a wicked grin.

Normally, I'm pretty mellow. Happy even, when I'm alone. I don't like other people, mostly because for some strange reason, they don't like me. Never found out why. Maybe it was the dancing lessons? Gave me amazing balance and coordination though. More than enough to deal with these druggie fuckwits. Back to the topic at hand. Being alone makes you a target, but it also makes you learn to take care of yourself. Every once in a while, I get pushed over the edge, and my personality changes completely. I go from normal, calm, collected, to sadistic, malevolent, and calculating. Nerd rage is a powerful thing. I think faster than normal people. Comes from having to think faster than the punks which think it's fun to treat me like dirt. I took their shoes, and threw them off the bridge we were on, onto the freeway below.

"Enjoy walking home barefoot." Just to add a little extra humiliation. Besides, their parents would just go out and buy them a $400 pair of Nike's tomorrow anyway.

In an internet café, one of the few places 'nerds' like me can go hang out and not be bothered. We're kind of like a pack of wolves. Sure, when we're alone, a lion can pick us off, but there's no way one would come into a den of 30 of us. Little known fact, nerds who have had enough learn how to hurt people. Some learn kendo, other's learn karate. I learned anatomy. Pressure points, the body's strong and weak points. How to cause as much pain to other people as possible without actually damaging them. Works well when you want to get someone off your back without getting the cops involved. The punks from before all have criminal records, so it's not like they're gonna go to the cops. They spent a day in a cushioned jail before their moms bailed them out, and they think they're hardcore.

I was watching My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. I can't watch it at home, it's just another thing my parents would judge me for. The nerds, geeks, and losers like me don't think that way. Lot's of em play games. WoW, Starcraft. Other's play games RL, chess, and Dungeons and Dragons. Other's work on homework, and some watch television. Internet café's are havens for us. They let us escape school, family, life. Everyone who doesn't understand. I watch My Little Pony because it's a world of happiness, at least in Ponyville that is. We don't see much of what goes on elsewhere. It must have it's fair share of trouble, if characters like Gilda and Trixie exist, as well as the land dispute with the buffalo. Still a sight better than Earth.

"So, you ever think about going to Equestria?" Asked someone in the café.

"Yeah, I mean, it's just a cartoon, but it's a lot better than here.

"If you could go, what would you want to be?" He asked.

"Really, being there would be enough. I wouldn't really care. I mean, I wouldn't want to be a donkey or a cow, that's just lame. Being a dragon would be cool, but I'd be huge, and there's plenty of trouble in that. I definitely wouldn't want to be a non speech capable animal, like a dog, or a manticore. Other than that, I haven't thought about it really."

"Wouldn't you miss your family? Your friends?" The stranger asked. I didn't mind talking to him, since he was clearly a brony as well, and we know what other bronies are like. We can trust each other.

"I'm pretty sure my family hates me. It's a constant yelling match, and they're always looking for ways to make me miserable. As for friends, what friends? I'm in an internet café, which pretty much tells you I'm a nerd, so I wouldn't have many. The fact that I'm sitting over here alone means that I have even less, or none. I used to have people I thought were my friends, but they all bailed when they found out I was a brony. You're the first person I've met who knows anything about the show and doesn't mindlessly hate it."

"Hmm, true enough. Well, off you go then!" He said, snapping his fingers.

"Wait, what?" What all I could say before there was a flash of light, then darkness.

By the way. "Hello." Is someone saying hello. 'Hello.' Is thinking hello, from the POV of whoever it is who's front and center in the scene. It's probably going to be all Griffin, because I don't like switching POV's often.

Breakout (11)

Breakout

"Hey Gilda, I noticed something about the map. The further south we go, the hotter it gets, with the volcano's and jungle at the very bottom. Shouldn't there be more? I mean, it SHOULD get colder again, and eventually turn back into an arctic like area again."

"Well, nobody really knows what's down there, because nobody has ever gone there. I mean, I presume there's something down there, Ahuitzotl had to come from somewhere. but it hasn't been explored by any Equestrians. It's too far from home. Nobody's explored the southern hemisphere. You're not thinking of going there are you?" Gilda explained.

"Oh heck no, I've already got my plate full planning a rebellion and slave revolution, let's just leave the exploring to Daring Do."

"I was wondering, why is it you can talk so calmly about upsetting the balance of power of this entire planet?" She asked.

"Humans. There is never less than 4 wars happening at any time, between various countries, for various reasons. Most are actually rebellions, civil wars, that sort of thing. Hear about them all the time, kind of makes you numb to the idea. The fact that I'm actually going to be leading one however, has me scared shitless, but, we can worry about that when we get there."

"Well, here's Stalliongrad. It's the size of Manehatten, but more low key, and has a bit more crime." Gilda stated as we approached the city. It had ramshackle wooden buildings, as well as some factories and such. The entire city was built on a small island.....or maybe it was normal land that had a moat dug around it? There was a heavily guarded bridge where they had some kind of toll system set up. Probably to charge everyone coming in. The entire thing reminded me of Riften from Skyrim, and just like the city that housed the thieves guild, the visitor's toll would obviously be a shakedown, especially for non ponies.

"So, the toll booth....." Gilda asked.

"Fuck that. We're flying in."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Well this is right up our alley isn't it? We just gotta watch out for guards, since security will be tighter, but this place could probably be a haven for us. Let's go see what kind of trouble we can get into." Stalliongrad was like a tossed salad of ethnicity. There were unicorns, earth ponies, pegasi, diamond dogs, and griffins. Wherever you get a mix like that, there was sure to be some racial differences, resulting in violence. Guards would be on top of things. This also meant there was a huge opportunity.

"Hey Gilda, see that food stall? Go make a scene. 'Accidently' bump into it, then apologize and help to clean up. While you're doing that, I'll start a minor scuffle to draw attention, and you swipe some stuff."

"I'm all over that." She said with a smile.

"Oof. Oh no! I'm so sorry, let me help you clean that up." Gilda played the role perfectly.

"Oh um, okay? You don't have to do that." The earth pony mare said, beginning to pick up some of the fallen fruit.

"Oh, but I must. I knocked it over, I have to help clean up." She replied.

"You know, some ponies say that griffins are mean, I don't see where they get it from." The middle aged mare said with a smile. Gilda started feeling guilty for what she was about to do.

"It's just so hard to make a living nowadays, it's nice to see the young folk helping out. Gives ya faith in the world again." Gild gulped.

"Hey! Watch where you're going buddy!"

"You watch it, ya no good bird brain!"

"You wanna say that to my face?"

"Whats da matter? Your ears to full of feathers ta hear straight?"

"What's going on here!" A guard came to deal with the commotion. Gilda was still cleaning up.

"Ohh, um, nothing sir. Nothing at all."

"This stupid bird bumped into me. Now apologize before I break your beak!"

"Whoa, hold on, we don't want to have a problem that this nice guard will have to deal with." I said, throwing on the charm.

"What's a griffin doin with a weapon anyways? You know they're banned in the city." The pegasus I had bumped into said.

"Weapons banned in the city? I see plenty of ponies with em."

"That's because only griffins are banned from having weapons in the city." The guard said matter of factly.

"Racist."

"Hey, you're lucky we don't declaw you before you come in. Now give it here." The guard said as the pegasus left.

"I don't think so. I'll be needing this when I hit the jungle in three days, and I went through hell to get it. I'm just getting some supplies, then you won't see hide or hair, or feather, of me again."

'Shit not good not good.'

"It's too late for that. You can check it in at the jailhouse, then come and get it when your chores are done. Now come along peacefully, you don't want to make any troubles for this nice guard to have to deal with." The armored pegasus said with an evil smile, repeating what I had said to the pegasus.

"Alright, I'll buy 10 bananas. Here you go. Have a nice day, I gotta go make sure my partner isn't in any trouble." Gilda said, glancing over to where I was. Apparently, she had felt guilty about stealing from that pony, because she already had a hard time so she decided not to. Fate smiled it seems, because if she had, we would have both been in jail for theft.

"Oh, Gilda, you're done? Well then Mr. Guard, we'll just be leaving your fair city and be on our way."

"Sure you're free to go, just leave that here with me." He replied.

"Can't do that. As I told you, I need it. We're headed to the jungle next, and I'm gonna be hacking through vines and saber tooth tigers, something I can't very well do without it."

"Too bad, no griffins can carry weapons in the city. Since you brought that incredibly valuable looking thing here, I'm afraid I'm going to have to confiscate it. Sucks to be you."

'Damn guard. He's confiscating it so he can sell it and make a load of bits, not because I'm dangerous. I can't let that happen. Looks like I'm about to become a criminal.'

"Well then, it seems we have reached an impasse. I can't leave here without it, and you won't let me leave with it. I'm sure we can work out some sort of deal. There must be a legal method of resolving this. Perhaps some bits to handle the proper paperwork?" I knew how to handle these kinds of situations.

"Oh of course, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get the 'paperwork'." The guard headed into the back room, leaving my weapon with me. There was of course, no paperwork. It was a bribe. One I didn't intend to actually pay. I was just buying time for me and Gilda to figure things out.

"Hey hotshot, we got trouble?" And stupid question of the year award goes to....

"They're not gonna let me leave with it, and there's no way I'm leaving without it. Right now he's in the back, discussing my bribe with his boss. Soon as he comes out, I'll knock him out, you get the next one. Then we take anything valuable and get out. Damn, I didn't think the guards would be corrupt."

"So, we're gonna have bounties after this aren't we?" She asked.

"Unless they forget what we look like, yes."

"You are planning to escape? Allow the Great and Powerful Trixie to accompany you." Said a voice from one of the cells.

'Aww HEELLLLL no.'

"And why would we do that?" I turned to the blue unicorn.

"Trixie has amazing magic the likes of which you peons have never seen! She could be of use to you in your travels." Trixie replied. Gilda's eye began to twitch.

"Is that so, if you're so amazing, why don't you just let yourself out of that cell then?"

"Erhm, um." Trixie shy'd away.

"How did someone so 'great and powerful' get in jail anyways?"

"Trixie has, well, she was shown up in Ponyville by another unicorn after she made a boast and.... failed to prove it when the opportunity arose. She lost all she had in an attack by an ursa minor, and now she has taken to..... stealing in order to eat." She explained. I began whispering to Gilda.

"Okay, so, plus side, she's a unicorn, and judging by her boasting, she's an illusion caster. Could be useful. Down side, her attitude. If she got caught stealing, then she's probably got nothing on the side of subtlety, which is a fact backed up by her bragging. She's probably useless, dead weight. If we bring her with, she'll take the first opportunity she gets to stab us in the back. We'll have bounties after this, and she'll turn us in for a pardon and some quick bits. That and we can't stand her attitude. Your call."

"Isn't it obvious? We leave her to rot." Gilda replied. "She's useless, obnoxious, she can't fly so she'll just slow us down, and she'll just turn us in. By the way, I'm glad you're letting me make so many decisions."

"Agreed on all counts. If you're gonna be queen one day, ya gotta know what's best." Gilda blushed. If I was gonna be king, and she was gonna be queen, did that mean we would be a couple?

"Silly pony, Trix are for kids! Hope you like prison food. Hey, it's better than starving, and it's much better than what we're going to do. Come with us and a talentless hack like you will just end up dead. That and I don't feel like carrying your fat ass all over the planet. Besides, you'll be out soon anyway. Stealing food isn't that serious of a crime."

"Well, um, Trixie didn't steal food." She looked at me wondering what the hell I meant by 'Trix are for kids'. Gilda just chalked it up to being 'A human thing'. "I stole... jewelry. How was I supposed to know the lock box was enchanted to track the magic of whoever last used it? I'm afraid I'm in here for at least the next ten years. If you don't take me with you, I'll just have to tell the guards who you are so they can hunt you down."

"And we are? I don't recall giving you our names, and our descriptions are pretty basic as far as griffins go. The only identifier is this thing, and we won't even be in Equestria that much longer. No, I'm afraid that you have no leverage on us. What's more, now I know for a fact that you'd sell us out first chance you got. Enjoy life in prison, TGPT. By the way, speaking in the third person is stupid, and Twilight says hi." I smiled evilly.

"Ready? I'm gonna have Hades at the ready. You knock on the door, then move out of the way, and I'll hit him over the head with the flat. Then you pounce the guy in the back and knock him out. We'll grab anything we think we can use, then bolt. I was really hoping we wouldn't have to do this, but It looks like we've got no choice."

"Yeah, there's no way we're giving up Hades, not after you were such a badass and killed a dragon to get it." Gilda remarked. Trixie's eyes went wide.

"Killed a... a.... a DRAGON?" She shouted.

"Yeah, in the badlands. This thing is made from one of it's scales. Can cut diamond if I swing it hard enough. Now be quiet."

*Knock knock knock.*

"Yeah, what is..." *DOOOOOONNNNNGGGG* The guard fell over unconscious as the flat of the scale made a ringing sound on his helmet. Gilda dove through the door, pinning the head guard, pulling his helmet off, and giving him a face full of fist.

"Oh hey, look. Bow's and arrows. Looks like they do have them here. Makes sense, pegasi don't have magic, and flying means they need to be able to do some ranged stuff. Gilda, take three of them, and as many quivers of arrows you can carry. I'll take more arrows as well. The front is guarded, so we fly out the back, and we don't stop till we're in the jungle."

"Please, take me with you! I'm begging you! You can't just leave me here!" Trixie started to cry.

"Why?"

"Because you're strong. Unbelievably strong. You killed a dragon. You just knocked out two high ranking guards like it was nothing. You're headed to the jungle, and you aren't afraid at all. Trixie is.... I am.... weak. I call myself great and powerful, but it's a lie! It's a lie to cover up my weakness! You two are so strong, you work so well together! Maybe if I stayed with you..... maybe I could....."

"Not suck so much?" Gilda spat. I freaking love that griffin. Trixie just nodded.

"You said it was my call, right Grif?" I already knew where this was going.

"That I did." Gilda picked up the keys and threw them at Trixie's hooves.

"Let yourself out, and then shut the hell up. If we get caught because of you, you're tonight's dinner, got it?" Trixie gulped as she opened the magic proof lock with the key, not saying a word.

"Oh, and ditch the duds. We're going incognito, and you'll stick out like a sore thumb."

"Thumb?" She asked inquisitively.

"Never mind. You wouldn't happen to know any invisibility spells would you? Don't say anything, just shake your head."

Trixie nodded.

"Good, make us invisible. Gilda's carrying most of the gear, so I guess I get you. We're flying out of here. Don't scream, and don't lose concentration on the spell, or I'll get really pissed off. When I get pissed off, I kill things. Like dragons."

We threw as much stuff as we could on us, and I grabbed Trixie just as her horn began to glow. With a shimmer, all three of us blinked out of existence, unable to be seen, yet able to see each other.

"Now, don't touch anything, or the illusion shatters." She said.

"Great, so how the hell do we get out of here then?" Gilda asked.

"Stand by the door, and be ready to fly out as soon as it opens." Gilda stood to one side of the prison door, and I with Trixie now on my back, as it was easier, on the other. I cleared my throat, and lowered my voice to mimic that of the guard.

"What? The unicorn has escaped! Guards! Get in here!" I bellowed. The two guarding the front door opened it, and Trixie held it open with her magic. The guards walked in to the cell to investigate. With a slight magic push, they fell on their faces inside, and the cell door closed on them. We flew out the open door and into the sky.

"Just close your eyes Trix, it'll be better if you DON'T look down." Trixie, riding on my back, had a death grip around my neck, squishing herself into my feathers, trying desperately to keep her mouth shut. We flew as fast as we could with our burdens, making it out of the city. We flew for about a half a day before night fell, and we decided to have a rest.

"Alright, you can turn off the spell."

We all shuddered back into view, myself and Gilda fine, but Trixie looking like she had seen a ghost, but also exhausted at the same time.

"Well well well, the misfit magician was actually useful. Well, sorry Gilda, looks like we won't be eating her tonight. Ya did good Trix. You kept up the spell the whole time, and you didn't scream when we flew. Looks like you CAN be quiet if you try."

"What can I say? Trixie has many talents." She bragged.

"Okay, rule number one, drop the attitude. Stop boasting, and stop talking in the third person. Griffin the griffin thinks it's annoying, and Gilda the Rageful will probably strangle you if you do it again. Rule two, we're in charge. Remember, WE bailed YOU out. Rule three, you do NOTHING unless we discuss it first. As you may have noticed, I let her make the call on whether or not we'd let you out. We share decision making. You're the newbie, you haven't earned it yet. I'm unofficially the leader, because I'm a FREAKING GENIUS, and I know what I'm doing. If I say to do something, go right ahead and question it, you may very well have some useful input. If we're in deep shit, don't question it. I may not have a cutie mark, but my special talent is thinking fast and kicking ass."

'That sounded so freaking cool!'

"We keep up a pretty fast pace, and we can handle ourselves in a fight. Before we came here, Grif killed a dragon by ripping off one of it's scales, slicing his own claws up in the process, then letting himself get swallowed so he could stab it in the throat. When push comes to shove, he's a damn psychopath, and a good one at that. I'm here to keep his head on straight, and back him up when he's being a dumbass. You move too slow, you get left behind. You can't take care of yourself? You'll die. He had his ass kicked his entire life till he got sick of it, and I was a runaway slave. The only way you get any stronger is by writhing in pain under oppression. We've both done plenty of that, and are set to do a whole lot more. You stick with us and you really will be great and powerful in no time, if you survive that is." Gilda was totally in on the 'Scare the shit out of Trixie' plan.

"What are you two?" Trixie asked nervously.

"We're badasses. Specifically, she's a bitchy griffin, and I'm an interdimensional alien in disguise. I'd ask who you are, but I already know. You're a braggart who's only skill is illusion magic. That skill is exactly the one we need for what we're planning."

"And what are you planning?" She asked nervously. Together, with a smile, we replied.

"We're going to take over the world."

Stay tuned for Trixie's reaction. Remember, she's off her rocker right now in fear, so she's not questioning the ones who just busted her out. Also, find out why Gilda decided to save Trixie. Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!

Arachnophobia (24)

Arachnophobia

I sit in the darkness, black clouds swirling. No up, no down. Nothing.

'Great, I'm dreaming. Let's see.'

In my thoughts, I called up images, sights, sounds, maps, charts, chemical equations, designs, all the things I knew and had planned, all swirling around me before they disappeared. I saw a number of figures. My crew. Then, all at once, they vanished. It was no longer empty, this void. It was filled with blood. A raging torrent of red so deep it was almost black that swept me away, dragging me under as I gasp for air. I scream, only to have my mouth filled with a sour taste.

"Gaaah!"

I woke with a start, sweating. It was a little after dawn, Nadene was up instantly, while Gilda and Trixie took a couple seconds, all entering a battle stance. They looked at me to see my eyes with bags under them, taking deep breaths.

"Whoa, hey, you look like shit...." Gilda commented, noticing my hands shaking. She wrapped her arms around me to try and make me calm down. Once it had passed, I explained the dream, and dismissed it as just that.

"I think we're just not getting enough sleep. If it was something in the rainwater we'd all have it, and we've been eating the same things. This is why we need a doctor. Nadene, do you have a pick me up or something?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." The cat reached into her pouch, removing a strange looking blue liquid.

"Restores focus and makes it easier to concentrate for about an hour. We'll see if this is just a phase or something. Probably because you never sleep. Staying up late all night will do that to you." She passed me the vial of liquid.

'It's blue, restores focus and concentration, basically a mana potion. I'm such a geek.'

"Thanks for the concern, MOM, but I'm plenty used to lack of sleep. This is different." I replied as I downed the tonic. After a few minutes, I felt a lot better.

"That stuff really does the trick. Thanks Nade. Say, I forgot to ask, you have the stuff you need to make more potions?"

"Of course." She pulled a mortar and pestle from her pack to show them off, as well as a kind of glass thing for mixing fluids in wit solid ingredients. It looked like a bong to my unknowing eyes.

"Good, we're probably going to need a lot more in the future. Looks like you get to make potions like your pappy wanted, and get to have an adventure at the same time."

"Yeah, I don't mind making them as long as life isn't mundane."

"Alright everyone, we know of a number of ruins in the area, we're gonna have to start checking them for loot. Once we get some wealth, we'll head west to the wastes and try to hire some mercs. Of course, we'll also have to be on the lookout for bounty hunters. No doubt there's an even higher price on our heads after the stunt we pulled in Wethoof, so we'll have to be on guard."

"Sounds good to me." They all nodded in agreement. Etch and Growl were to stay at camp, because while they would be useful in dark tombs for their eyesight, many of these temples were built by Nadene's people originally, and she was far more acrobatic and intelligent. I saw Rainbow's imagination when she was reading the book, I know it'll be full of traps. Trixie was our torch and would, as usual, be riding on my back. It felt good to have her there again. Still don't know why being ridden is so comfortable. Oh well.

We approached one of the ruins, Nadene motioning for us to stop. She looked around, seeing the temple door open, she carefully put her leg in and touched a stone with her paw, causing an audible *shing* as several spikes popped from the ground right in front of us, then receded.

"The stones with the smooth textures are trapped, the rough ones are safe." She explained.

"Door was open, might have been raided, won't know for sure unless we go all the way through."

"Pretty knowledgeable for someone who's never raided a ruin before." The cat stopped and remarked while checking the ground for something.

"What? It's just common sense. The door was open, so someone was here, if we find a corpse, they died inside, if not, they made it through, but even then, someone else could have come here after. We won't know till we look."

"Yes we will, hoof prints, they're facing the exit, and they aren't hurried or laboured."

"Looks like Daring hit this one first. Since she's still around, she made it out, and without a doubt, it's empty. NEXT!"

As the next one was a fair distance away, known as the 'Temple of the Hidden', Gilda air lifted the cat in the usual manner, still refusing to let herself be ridden. The next one was sealed shut. Nadene once again felt along the outer surface, looking for a hidden switch of some kind. She didn't find one.

"Great, now how do we get in?"

"Eh hem." I cleared my throat, drawing Hades. She stepped out of the way as I slammed it into the crack between the doors. I felt as I cut through a locking mechanism, then crowbar'd the stone doors open. I was met by stale, dusty air.

"Doors still locked, no ventilation, no marks in the thick dust on the ground. We're the first ones in here, hope it's got something of value."

Nadene led, with me close behind, Trixie acting as a flashlight, and Gilda taking up the rear. We didn't have weapons drawn, as there wouldn't be anything living in here, with myself as the exception, Hades serving as a shield against possible traps and mirror to make the most of the limited light we had. Gilda looked like she was having a mini freak out.

"Wonderful time for you to tell me you're claustrophobic."

"It just reminds me of the caves back when I was a slave. Griffins are NOT meant to be underground." She explained.

"We're still above ground, just, indoors. Sing a song or something to make you feel better." Her teeth..... beak was chattering. I rolled my eyes as I began to sing softly for her.

"This is my escape, I'm running through this world and I'm not looking back.
Cuz I know I can go, where no one's ever gone and I'm not looking back.

But how will I know when I get there?
And how will I know when to leave?
We've all got to start from somewhere,
And it's right there for me!
The possibilities are neverending

I see it, I see it,
and now it's all within my reach!
Endless possibility.

I see it, I see it now,
it's always been inside of me
and now I feel so free,
Endless possibility."

After I finished the first verse, she seemed to have calmed down, so I stopped. She was walking a bit more closely to me now, obviously since I gave her comfort.

"See? That wasn't so hard now was it? Besides, when we eventually raid the D-dog holds, we WILL be underground. I can't have you spazzing out on ....." My paw suddenly felt a difference in the floor, it wasn't rough like the rest, it was smooth. I heard a click. Even in the dark, I could see Gilda's eyes widen. I dove at her, forcing her out of the way as a number of presumably poisonous darts whizzed through the air over our heads, or at least they would have if Trixie hadn't caught the lot of them on a force field, making them bounce off harmlessly.

"What would you do without me?" She snickered.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Still, nice save. When'd you learn that one?"

"A long time ago. It's not really a barrier as much as it is a constant explosion in a thin shell. After all, I used to perform flashy magic all the time, a small mistake could hurt, so eventually I made an explosion and held it in place to stop it from burning my face off. The constant high pressure makes for a nice shield. It's not good versus power hits or magic, they go right through, but it's perfect for projectiles." She put a hoof to her chest.

"Well, well, taking a shortcut? Rather than learning a barrier spell, you combined two easier spells for the same, albeit weaker, effect. Such ingenuity, are you sure you're not human? Yes, remind me when we get back to go over ALL of your talents. That one I definitely see coming in handy. Also, pick up these darts, I'm sure Nadene could use a blowgun, pretty easy to make with a bamboo stalk." My unicorn rider laughed as the bright yellow dome surrounding us dissipated.

"It really was just an accident that let me discover it." She for once tried to brush off her success instead of rolling in it like she normally would. Learning she is.

"My dear, some of the greatest inventions of my people came by complete accident, and the ones who discovered them were still hailed as geniuses. Have accident's more often, it let's you learn. Which is why pretty soon, you'll outclass Twilight. She does everything meticulously and with careful planning. That's great for adventures, but with experimentation, sometimes you just need to throw science, or in this case, magic, at the wall to see what sticks. You've pretty much mastered illusion, I think it's time you shifted your focus to combat magic, like that one. Just, make sure you don't blow yourself, or more importantly, me, up okay?" She giggled, and Gilda just looked at me strangely. Nadene whispered that we were in the main chamber. Thanks to her expertise, we had easily entered, avoiding almost all the traps.

"What have we here?" A large chamber, the center of which held a fair amount of gold and silver items. No gems, save one. There was a pedestal in the center of the room, a small, glowing blue gem suspended over it, set in a kind of amulet. Oh, and there were webs over EVERYTHING. Now that we were in a more open area, Gilda was relaxed, while I was near a nervous breakdown.

"Hey, you know how you're afraid of enclosed areas........"

"Yeah............."

"I'm afraid of spiders..........."

"Seriously?"

"I'm fine with snakes, I could climb right in a tub full of em, but I can't STAND spiders." As I looked, I noticed that there were indeed spiders crawling through the webs, thousands of them.

"I think I'm gonna puke......."

"Just calm down, close your eyes. Take a deep breath Grif...." Gilda was now trying to help me keep my cool.

"This is a problem though, we cannot get through the webs without cutting them, and that would make the spiders come to us. Captain, do you have any ideas? Hey DUMBASS!" Nadene for some reason had what it took to snap me out of it.

"Huh?"

"Webs, how do we get through?" Then, I got a sly grin.

"As much as I hate spiders, I love BURNING THEM! Trix! Torch this shit!" Nadene jumped out of the way.

"With pleasure!" A spout of red and orange flame came from her horn, spewing out and spreading fire all over the place. It wasn't hot, it was by no means an intense flame, but it went everywhere. What do you expect from a pony who up till now was constantly giving off a lot of light, without trying to hurt anything? It was however, more than enough to set the webs ablaze, and boy did they BURN. The spiders were turned into the crispy bacon bits you get with salads. What? You didn't know that's what they really were? We all moved back around the corner to avoid the heat, and also prevent ourselves from getting sucked in by the sudden gust coming through. The fire was sucking air, making the hall into a wind tunnel. We all held our breath, after all, several thousand years of dust would be coming with it, but eventually, it passed, and fresh air filled the once musty halls.

"Um, anyone else wondering where the smoke went?"

"Maybe it rose and it's trapped in the dome?" The cat woman suggested.

"Wanna look?"

Nadene looked around the corner and entered the large chamber, spotting still smoldering webs at the ceiling. Sunlight was starting to pour in. She motioned for us all to enter, as it was safe, and we did.

"Well look at that, damn spiders webbed the place up so much it stopped air flow. Industrious little bastards. Glad they're all gon........" I was interrupted by a roar and some chittering.

"Of course. We've solved the puzzle and reached the end, now we have to fight a boss. Fucking Zelda. Alright, where is it?" I drew Hades. I also suddenly felt lighter. I found out why. I was being lifted in the air somehow.

"Trixie! Light! 12 o clock!" She followed my command and I froze. The biggest, fucking SPIDER in the damn world was pulling me up by a strand of web. It had fangs the length of my sword, and behind them, a circular mouth lined with teeth, like leeches in horror movies. It made a sound that made me think of a zergling.

"HOOOOOLLLYYYYY SSSSHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTT Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it with fire! Shoot it! I don't care how just fucking kill-illl-illll it!" I said in a whining tone. Before we could act, Trixie and I found ourselves wrapped in thick webbing. Fangs punctured the cocoon, luckily blocked by my sword, else I would have had a VERY bad day. A red liquid filled the bottom of the sack, thankfully that instead of me, and we were left to dangle. I couldn't hear what was going on outside, and it was getting difficult to breathe. I had no room to swing my sword, and my claws just got stuck in the sticky webbing. Trixie, my fire maker, had passed out, and I soon followed. My last words before I fell asleep were,

"I don't get paid enough for this shit......."

When I woke up, there was a nice fire going, made of spider corpse. It smelled something awful, but it was warm.

"Damn...... spiders. It's always fucking spiders."

"Nice of you to wake up." Nadene welcomed me back to consciousness.

"He he, fucking spider, burn you bastard. All your babies are dead." I said with a very soft laugh, the laugh of someone who's mind is breaking.

"Not all of them, looks like you've got a new friend Grif." Gilda said. My eyes went wide as dinner plates as I began rolling around and frantically trying to get the spider I couldn't see off of me.

"Trixie! Quick! Light me on fire!" I didn't want to go dive in the spider corpse fire, as it was still a spider. She just laughed.

"Oh relax will you, they're all dead." Gilda finally admitted to her lie, my crew still laughing.

"NOT funny." I scowled.

"Oh yes it was."

"There's just some shit you don't joke about."

"Oh fine, spoil sport." They pouted.

"How'd you kill it anyway?"

"Well, it tried grabbing us with webs, but we kept avoiding them, so eventually it came down here to get us. Nadene stabbed it in the abdomen, and while it was distracted, I shot a thermite arrow in it's mouth. It got cooked from the inside out, that's what set it on fire. Then I used some of the molding stuff to burn the bottom out of the web sack and pulled you out."

"Good thing we were prepared then...... He, he he, ha, ha ha, ha ha ha, YOU LIKE THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH? YOU LIKE MY SCIENCE? Aw, you can't talk because you're fucking DEAD!" I proceeded to have a small session of maniacal laughter, going on about how you never mess with a human or a pissed off griffin, and how he had done both.

After I had finally calmed down, we ate some of the food we had brought with us, and now that all the eight legged freaks were dead, I was finally relaxed.

"Okay, so, we killed the Spiderzilla, so the thing it was guarding must be damn important. No way something like THAT gets in here on accident. Other than a load of gold and silver, there's that glowing gem amulet thing." It wasn't floating anymore, it was just sitting on the pedestal. Now that I think about it, it was probably being held there by one of Spiderzilla's webs. Yep, DEFINITELY guarding it.

"Well, since it was floating and now no longer is, the pedestal itself isn't trapped, although there may be a pressure pad on the floor near it. I think the first order of business to to take all the less valuable things and bring them to the door. We can't fly it all back, so we'll take as much as we can in the first load while Nadene stays at the entrance with Trixie, then we drop it off at the camp and come back for more. I'll have the dogs build a storage hut where we can hide all of it till we find a way to exchange it. Maybe we can trade with some of the other tribes for stuff?"

After taking all the gold and silver to the entrance, careful to avoid the traps, Gilda and I flew the first load home to find that Etch and Growl were arguing with each other about something. They were in a full out fist fight, complete with biting and scratching, and it was definitely NOT sparring.

"What the hell is the matter with you two?" I dropped the gold and punched the both of them on the back of the head. They both looked surprised to see me.

"Mind telling me what that was all about?" They seemed nervous, as though they were praying the other wouldn't rat them out.

"Erm, it was..." Etch began.

"Don't even THINK about lying to me."

"We found letters...." Growl answered.

"Letters?"

"Letters to princesses."

"It's not polite to go through other people's mail you know."

"You are working for pony princess!" Growl accused.

"Is not." Etch defended.

"Am not." I added.

"They why?" I face palmed. You've got to be kidding me.

"Because I'm a jerk and I like making fun of them. All you read was who it was addressed to? If you're going to do something wrong, at least do it the right way. These letters are designed to confuse and humiliate. I'm not working for Celestia and Luna, I'm spitting on them. Besides, even if I was, what difference does it make?"

"If you were working for ponies, you would abandon us. Soon as ordered, you would give up on freeing home, and all would be wasted." The larger of the two reasoned.

"He saved us from slavery! He would never abandon! He trusts us! He made us family!" The smaller defended.

"You got that right Etch, we are a family, and I would dive headfirst into Tartarus for any of you. You heard my stories didn't you? I know you did Etch, because I saw you crying afterwards." The dog looked away ashamed.

"Hey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, it just means you care. But yeah, you guys are the first friends I've ever had, I'm not gonna give up on any of you just because some pony tells me to. Growl, ya ought to have more faith. Now make up you two, I've got a job for you." They begrudgingly shook paws, and I told them when Nadene got back I'd have her fix them up, then I said what I needed of them.

I explained that I needed a place to hide the loot, so rather than building a shack, they did what they do best. They dug a hole and made a cover for it. After telling them good work and to take the rest of the day off to sort themselves out, I flew back with to to the temple with Gilda, who had already made two trips while I oversaw the pit construction.

"So, you sorted them out?" She asked.

"Yeah, they thought I was working for Celestia. Actually, Growl did, Etch fought tooth and nail to defend my name."

"A diamond dog with honour? Well well, that's new. I mean, yeah, okay, so Echo, but he's not really a D-dog."

"Yeah..."

"Is it true? You know, about us being a family?"

"Every word. I didn't really have a family before, so I don't know for sure, but, this is what I think it feels like. Those two are brothers now, and of course, brothers fight. I just needed to straighten them out."

After another load each, all the loot, save the amulet that was still present, had been removed from the temple. It was a fairly large haul, although we couldn't exactly exchange it, seeing as how we were wanted. We'd have to find another tribe first. Making our way back through the temple, I carefully approached the amulet. The three of us stood right next to it, so it clearly wasn't trapped.

"Um, okay, so, no traps, guardian is dead, just take it and go right?" Nadene asked.

"I don't know. I mean, who knows what this does? It MUST be important if it was guarded by something like that."

"Oh, quit being such babies." Gilda snatched the amulet from it's resting place while the cat and I closed our eyes, awaiting the worst. Nothing happened.

"See? No problem, now let's get out of here."

We left the temple and returned to camp, it was now nightfall, so we prepared something to eat by a fire at the base of the camp. Arms and armor removed and left up top for comfort.

"Hey Gilda, can I see that amulet for a sec?"

"Sure, doesn't look like it was worth the extra trip to get it." She replied as she passed it over to me. I turned it's back face towards the fire, seeing that it had the words 'Forma Versus' written on the top, and 'Reverti' along the bottom.

"Looks like Latin. Of course. In myth, Latin was always considered to hold power. My guess is you wear the amulet and say the words, then the magic happens."

"Well Mr. language expert, you wanna give it a go?" Gilda mocked. I put the necklace on, said 'Forma Versus' and Trixie's illusion spell she was practicing shattered.

"Forma Versus..... forma means form, versus... against? Against form? No....... versus, verdad? True? True Form? So it dispels illusions?" I took the necklace off and gave it to Trixie.

"I wonder if it dispels illusions on the one who is wearing it? If it does, this thing could be more trouble than it's worth, considering we NEED the lies and trickery. Try it again Trix." She began calling on an illusion again, making herself invisible.

"Forma Versus!" We heard echo through the air, Trixie remaining cloaked.

"Well, that's good, it removes illusions, but protects the wearer from itself that's......."

And then I passed out yet again.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Is your horn hard?

Sincerely, Trixie.

A Dash Of Life (41)

A Dash Of Life

I still can't get over it. He just charged out there and went nuts on those dragons. I mean, it's not like I couldn't do it, but, I didn't want to steal his thunder. Oh, who am I kidding, ONE dragon that size kicked my flank with a sneeze, and he beat six, at the SAME TIME. And he met Daring Do, and he's the captain of this pirate crew. I hate to say it..... but.... he's...... BUCK! I can't say it! Nopony's more awesome than me!

"Hey Fluttershy, you co.....ming......?" Looking out on the deck, she was laying next to that diamond dog, back to back, but snuggled up close. They were both fast asleep.

"Really? Him? Never would have guessed it. Well, whatever. Can't use it to tease her though. If it was Pinkie, yeah, then I could totally use it for prank revenge, but Fluttershy? Uh, I just hope she knows what she's doing."

I did a couple flips in the air, grabbing bits of cloud and the like, but I couldn't really get over the feeling I was missing something, something important, and it made flying feel absolutely dull. Okay, I'll admit, I'm not the most sensitive of ponies, and I can be pretty dense sometimes, but, I can't get over the feeling that I missed something.

Gilda

'Right. That's what I forgot. I've got to talk to her, that is, if she'll even talk to me.'

I found my way carefully down to her room, and knocked on the door softly.

"It's open."

I nosed the door open to find Gilda laying on her bed, looking at something. Seeing me, she quickly stuffed it in her bag, hiding it. I've seen her do that before, back at flight camp. She would never let me see what it was. Her eyes were red, she had been crying, but seeing it was me, she quickly put on her 'game face' so she wouldn't appear lame.

"Oh, it's you."

"Umm, heh, yeah......." I just stood in the doorway for a couple minutes, like a moron. What am I supposed to say to the friend I betrayed without even realizing it? Element of loyalty my flank.

"You gonna say something?" She scowled at me. She probably doesn't want to see me right now.

"I.... I guess not.... sorry." And I left, heading back to the party.

'Stupid stupid stupid! Why can't I just tell her I'm sorry? Why can't I just swallow my pride?......pride...... *sigh*'

"Hey Dashie, you look saddy mc saddy pants, what's the matter?" Not now Pinkie......

"It's, nothing." I reply, exasperated.

"Well then, whatever the nothing is that's bothering you, I know Pinkie can make you smile!"

'Yeah..... who needs Gilda anyway. I doubt I'd ever be able to patch things up between us. Besides, she has new friends now, friends who care for her. She doesn't need me anymore.'

Gilda's POV

"I know what you were trying to say. Even if you couldn't say it, I know what you meant. It's alright. I'm, better now."

Rainbow Dash's POV

"Oh my gosh! Pinkie! Hide me!" I dove under a table that had food and punch on it, but the plates were empty so it only had a table cloth now. She popped under it in that weird way she does things.

"Oh! are we playing hide and seek! I love hide and seek! Who are we hiding from? Huh, who's it? I....." Hoof in her mouth so she couldn't keep talking, I explained.

"Pinkie, if you keep talking, you'll give me away."

"Oh, are you spying on Griffy?"

"Yes, wait, what? No! Sorta I guess." The table cloth concealing us from the rest of the group.

"So, which is it?" She cocked her head to the side.

"Well, it's just, he's so...... I don't know. I mean, When Spike became huge, even the Wonderbolts couldn't handle him, and that dragon in the cave, I could barely do anything against it, but then, he, six of them, SIX. He went through them like they were nothing. He pushed himself waaaaaaaaay beyond what he should be able to do, and, he pulled it off. I mean, when I pulled off the sonic rainboom at the best young flier's competition, I felt so awesome and he just, blew it away. I mean, just LOOK at him, so confident, so strong. The only thing I can say to describe him is..... unstoppable." I moved the cloth to the side so we could look out of it, and I saw him standing there, talking with Twilight.

"So then, you're jealous?" Pinkie asked, confused.

"No, no, it's different. It's like when I look at a Wonderbolt's show, but, WAY better. Like if every Wonderbolt ever got together and did a show. I get all tingly just looking at him."

"OOOOOOHH You have a crush on Griffy."

"What no!" Dang it Pinkie, that's not what I meant.

"Dash has a crush on Griffin, Dash has a crush on Griffin!" She started bouncing around. How she could do that under the table without bumping it is beyond me. Just, Pinkie being Pinkie.

"No, Pinkie stop... okay! Yes! I have a crush on him. Now will you stop telling everypony?" She abruptly stopped and sat next to me.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't tell anypony. No guaratees about anygriffin though."

"You wouldn't......."

"Oh, alright fine! But then you've gotta tell him."

"I.... I can't......"

"Why not?"

"Because he's already with Gilda! Or... at least I think he is. I don't know for sure..... but I'm pretty sure he is. I do know that she likes him though. I, I can't do that to her, not again. I've already hurt her enough. Besides, it's just a crush. She's been right next to him for what.... three months? They've saved each other's lives.... I'm just being selfish."

"Oh Dashie, you're not being selfish. Okay, maybe a little. You just want your special somepony to be awesome. And I mean, he is kinda awesome...."

"Kinda? He took on six full grown dragons! He hung out with Daring Do! He's way awesome! I mean, not more awesome than me, but, close."

"Silly filly, you know what I mean. You want somepony awesome, and he's awesome, so you want him. There are plenty of other awesome fish in the awesome sea. Or awesome ponies and griffins, and....... oh, there I go again. The point is, the reason you're crushing on him is because he's right there in front of you. When we get back to Ponyville, or Cloudsdale, you'll take one look at Soarin and your hooves will melt over him. You're just looking for somepony to be with. Trust your aunt Pinkie Pie."

"I'm a year older than you. We all are."

"I know what's bothering you. You need to go talk to Gilda and find out how she feels! If she doesn't feel like you think she does, then go get him! But, if she does like him, then leave him alone, or she'll claw your eyes out. Besides, I don't think you'd like him once you got to know him...... after all, he calls himself an egghead."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm just jumping the gun. I mean, I know next to nothing about him, except that he's a so called egghead that's really strong and is apparently an alien. And he's a criminal. Uggh, why does this have to be so complicated? No, you're right Pinkie, I don't like him that way. It's just a stupid crush. Soon as we get off this ship, I'll stop thinking about him and that will be that. But first, I need to spar with him. Huh? Where'd he go? Probably back out on the top deck. He spends a lot of time there."

I darted out from under the table and headed to the stairs, to find him and challenge him to a fight. I needed to know what he was capable of.

Pinkie's POV

"Silly Dashie, has her tail in a knot. She never was good at letting other's know how she feels."

"I know. Thanks for talking to her. I kind of wondered why she kept looking at me like that. Better for her to hear it from a friend than to ask me and get turned down. Save's her ego. I should probably go find her on the top deck." The voice came from on top of the table. Poking my head out, I saw he was laying on it. He's pretty sneaky for being so big. He hopped off and headed to the stairs after her.

"Okie Dokie Lokie."

Rainbow Dash's POV

"Where is he......"

"Hey Dash!" I heard his voice come from behind, at the stairwell. I turned to see him, no weapons or armor, just standing there, on his hind legs, leaning against the door frame.

"Pinkie found me and said you wanted a nice, friendly fight." Still so confident! Grrr! It's infuriating! And that's why I like it!

"Hehe, yeah." I started rolling my hoof around nervously.

"Well, just a sec." He walked over to the diamond dog next to Fluttershy, nudging him gently. He awoke slowly, and after some whispers and nods, Growl gently picked Fluttershy up without waking her, which was a miracle in and of itself, and brought her inside, presumably to put her to bed.

"There. Now we won't disturb anyone. So.... honor bound or pirate's law?" He asked. I know what honour bound is, it's an honourable duel, leaving both participants satisfied at the end. I'm not sure what pirate's law is.

"What's the pirate's law rules?" He gave a devious smile.

"The only rule is that there are none." My eyes must have shot wide open. An all out brawl. No holds. Fight till one drops or gives up. He was met with a hoof to the face.

"Pirate's law."

"Clever girl. Now, let's see if you can keep up." I just slugged him and he's smiling? This is going to be interesting. I took my karate stance in front of him, and began with a flurry of hooves towards his head. He just moved it around, away from my blows every time. I jumped back, using my wings for balance. He cracked his neck, and I followed. He looked surprised.

"For once, someone doesn't freak out when I do that." We both rolled all our joints, producing satisfying pops and the like, before he stood on his hind legs in a stance to mimic my own.

"You know karate?"

"Not at all." He laughed. "Being lower to the ground gives better balance, meaning you can knock larger opponents over. But if the opponent can fly, it becomes worthless, and it suddenly becomes a battle for altitude."

"Who taught you?"

"Gilda." He deadpanned.

"How do you feel about her?"

"Not sure. Well, I like her, and I know she likes me, but I don't know if we should take it any farther than that. I'm leaving it up to her. If she makes a move on me, I'll gladly meet her, but if she doesn't... well... I'm still on the market. The wanted criminal, thrown-in-the-dungeon-if-Celestia-catches-me market, but out there none the less. Until she comes out and puts a claim on me, I'm still free, but until she says yes or no, she's got first dibs."

"Letting her take the initiative? Clever."

"Now, are we going to keep going into our love lives, or are we gonna fight?" He charged at me. I was about to jump up to evade, but he did the same, going for an overhead slam with both fists. Since I went up, it collided with my stomach, succeeding in pushing me back, but not hurting me. I did a flip, then brought my hooves down on his back, pinning him to the floor. He rolled, throwing me off to the side, and sprang on top of me, only for me to reverse it and pin him, this time with him on his back. I stood on his chest and smirked.

"Yep, you got me. I'm just no good at dealing with the fast little ones. Gilda normally does that. I mean, fastest flier in Equestria and black belt in martial arts. She taught me, but she admits to being nowhere near as good at it as you are. No chance."

"So, I'm tough enough to beat up a guy who tossed six dragons to the side like they were nothing?"

"To be fair, you have the advantage in the combat triangle, and I get a huge boost fighting dragons. And I'm not using my weapons or armor, AND it almost killed me, but yeah, if it makes you feel better, you are."

"YES!" I jumped off and began flying around. Then I stopped to find him slowly getting back up.

"You let me win, didn't you?"

"Nope, I just can't fight small fast things. Dragons are big, and near impossible to miss. If I can hit, the damage is huge, but against something as fast as you are, I don't stand a chance. It's one area I just can't overcome, and that's why I have my crew to back me up. If I had Trixie riding me, you'd be out in.... ten seconds flat." I just glared when he started laughing, at a joke he apparently made that I didn't understand. His explanation was, 'alien inside joke'. That was annoying.

"Well, I'm done, I'm going inside. This was.... different. See you around."

"I won't be seeing you, you're too fast to follow. No wonder you haven't got a special someone." I almost choked on the air when he said that. I turned around to give him a piece of my mind, but he was already gone. Where did he go?

'Is he a ghost or something? Whatever. Well, that effectively killed my crush. Now that I'm thinking clearly again, back to the party.'

The Part Where Stuff Happens (50)

The Part Where Stuff Happens

"And, here we are again, the Dominion. I just realized, we've traveled around the entire world."

"Kind of makes you feel, small, you know?" Trixie added.

"Yeah, It's a big world, and we've been all around it."

"Griffins! Hear me! You have been freed from your shackles. We are now in the land of our forefathers. Go! Return to your families! Become whole once more! Tell any who will listen to fly to Tailfeather. That is where we will organize and prepare our future, a future where we do not starve, we do not live in fear, and where we can feel joy! Go! Spread the word!"

At my speech, a resounding cheer erupted. I had spent most of the past two weeks motivating them while Maria and Selma worked overtime to make sure everyone was fed. Our food reserves were running low, but we didn't have to drop any off because I had taught the griffins on board how to get clams, how to use gems for basic survival spells like making fire and such. That way they could spread my knowledge throughout the Dominion without me actually needing to do it. This would ensure that when we returned after our time in Canterlot, we would come back to a large number of well fed, happy griffins, ready to follow where I lead. Most importantly, I had given them initiative. They were depressed to the point of not even wanting to get up anymore, but now they had a reason. They had a small sliver of hope, and it made their fires burn ever brighter. They disembarked, heading to their homes to reunite with friends and family, and to spread the word.

"So, what do we do now?" One of the unicorns on board asked.

"We head to Canterlot. I've already contacted Celestia, she'll make sure you get home. Same with the zebras."

"I... I can't believe it.... I'm finally going home...." An earth pony mare started crying in joy. Pretty soon, all the ponies on board were crying and smiling and talking about their friends and their families and who they'd see and what they'd do, as well as what they'd see and who they'd do. A little too much info there, but, they were happy none the less.

"Well, we should arrive in about a week. The air above Equestria is calm, so even though the distance is greater, we'll be moving much faster. That leaves... wow, three weeks before the wedding, geez. Well, we can do a food run, get some supply for the griffins, bring some with us to Canterlot for the wedding, then to the islands, then head back up for our second assault on Gem Fido."

"Let's not forget that there's going to be some sort of attack on the city around that time." Gilda reminded me.

"It'll all turn out. It's just supposed to be around that time. It might be over before we get there, or happen after we leave, or, it might be during the ceremony. If it happens while we're there, we'll just do our thing. It'll also mean our crew gets some action. They've mostly been stuck on the ship, I wouldn't want them to go stir crazy."

"Nah, we cats like our naps, and there's a nice breeze this high up." Nadene explained.

"Well, I still feel kind of bad about it but, they'll get to do their bit eventually. Well, let's go. Oh! I almost forgot, I gotta get Growl to paint our flag on the side of the ship. Tiny little flag is hard to see with this thing blinding everyone."

Celestia and Luna

"Ruin his fun? *sigh*. Well, pirates will be pirates." Celestia giggled.

"Troll, a trickster...... well, he pegged you pretty well sister." Luna laughed.

"Yes, I suppose he has, and he admits to being one as well. I have to think of more ways to get him."

"What do you mean more ways?" The younger sister asked.

"Well, I...."

"Wait, you pardoned him for THAT reason?"

"Well, in addition to the other ones, but yes. He seemed so proud to have a high bounty, I knew he'd be upset when he got pardoned." The sun princess laughed.

"By the way, how did that go with the press?"

"Well, I explained that his bounty was reflective of his ability, not his crimes, and that they were few, his service outweighing them heavily. They accepted it pretty easily. After all, I am their princess. They take everything I say pretty well."

"Although it's upsetting that he failed to take the diamond dog warren. It means his task will be far more difficult, due to them refusing leadership by an outsider. Perhaps we could ask Echo to take that position? He seems to have a good relationship with Griffin." Luna suggested.

"Yes, that may work. We'll have to discuss it with him should we meet. Other than that, we have 26 ponies of various types, and 20 zebras as well, to get home. Bringing them here to the capital in and of itself will be enough to get him in the public eye." The sisters smiled.

"Why can't everypony be this helpful?"

Mane Six

"So then he was all, 'Hey Ugly!' and the dragon was 'grr' and he laughed at it!" Pinkie was going over the battle with the CMC and Pip.

"And then he fell in the ocean and I had to drag him out of it. He looked like a rat had decided to go for a swim!" Dash joked.

"So, who would win in a fight?" Scootaloo asked.

"Me, hooves down. We had a sparring match on the deck and I beat him, although to be fair, he almost got me." Rainbow explained.

"So... they've been pardoned now, but, they still call themselves pirates....." Pip pondered.

"Yuppers. Not sure what they're up to now though....."

"Pinkie, Rainbow, come on! You're gonna be late for our picnic!" Twilight called over a hill.

"Quit your worrying Twilight, I'll be there in..."

"Yes, I know, ten seconds flat...."

Canterlot, Later

"And here we are. So, why is there a friggin bubble around it?"

"You warned them of a possible threat, remember?" Gilda smacked me on the back of the head.

"Right.... well, think we should knock?"

"You're kidding..." Trixie deadpanned. I just looked at her.

"Any way you try to 'knock' they'll consider an act of hostility."

"Not so lassie, I got the first one finished. Try er out." Steelhorn sauntered up with a fairly large looking laser on a mount. It hooked right into my armor for support so it was easier to move and wouldn't fall off, yet was still maneuverable as it was on the end of some kind of metal arm thing. (Think the miniguns from Aliens, how they had a support arm hooked to their waist for better mobility) It would clamp down on Trixie's hooves when she put them in it. It had a single, large gem set in it, so she could charge it and fire at the same time, making for a constant beam, and the size providing more power.

"It's about 1/3 the strength of the ship's gun, but constant firing means you can sweep in an arc. The hand held ones will be best against light or no armor, while this one can melt through steel in five seconds. At least, it should. This is the first test fire."

"Alright. Well Trixie, let's knock."

My unicorn rider hopped on my back, strapping her rear hooves into the harness, while putting her front ones in the side of the gun mounted to my back on the arm. She moved it around a couple times, checking mobility. It was easy to move since I was bearing the weight, and she just had to move against the resistance of the arm, which wasn't much. Her horn began to glow, and so did the shaped gem in the gun.

"Lumen." She pulled the trigger inside, sending a bright white beam into the shield bubble around the city. Of course it just burned the spot, not doing any damage to it. The beam went out. We waited a couple minutes and nothing happened.

"Should we try again?" Nadene asked.

"Screw it, Tiras, you knock." He brought the main gun around and fired it at the top of the shield, so it wouldn't hit anything if it passed through. It didn't, but the shield was definitely weakening from the beam. We saw a lot of movement from within, and after a couple minutes, a large number of armored pegasi, as well as some unicorns in airships came up to meet us.

"Surrender now!" They bellowed.

"Knock knock moe'suckra!" I cheerfully returned, bringing looks of confusion.

"What?"

"Lower the shield and guide us in, Princess Celestia is expecting us."

"And just who are you, and why did you attack Canterlot?" A unicorn stallion wearing fancier armor asked from the ship flanking us. He had the typical 'bro' accent. I would have expected him to be in a surfing competition, not guard's armor.

"We're the Griffin pirates, and we didn't attack. We were knocking. How else were we supposed to get your attention?"

"If you are who you say you are, why didn't you just send a letter to Princess Celestia?"

"This was more fun. Besides, she's busy, and we needed to test our newest weapon. Your shield held, that's good."

"You're not going in the city....." I face clawed and sighed.

"Fine then, send some chariots up here to take the slaves we rescued so we can be on our way." The much happier and healthier looking captives left their rooms and came up on the deck to prove our point.

"That won't be necessary." I turned around to see the majestic, enormous form of Princess Celestia glide in and land on the deck. All the ponies and zebra's bowed, as did the guards. She glared at me menacingly, and I shrank ever so slightly at the imposing figure, but then I recovered and gave a stupid grin.

"Hiya! Nice to see you again for the first time." I said in the cutest little kid voice I could manage. She lost her glare and wore a smile.

"So, you're this 'Griffin' I've been hearing so much about?"

"Yep, that's me."

"I have to say, you're shorter than I expected." She smirked. Oh? Trolling are we?

"Nah, you're just bigger than everyone else." Looks of shock came from the guards and ponies as I was basically insinuating that Princess Celestia was fat.

"Well, I have been eating far too many sweets lately. I must thank you again for warning me again about that cake, I managed to sneak an extra slice." We both smiled after she gave me a wink, and my crew broke out in laughter.

"Captain Shining Armor, lower the shield." She commanded. He opened a hole in it for us to pass through. I told Steelhorn over the PA we were good to go, and the ship slowly began moving forward.

"Wait a minute, you're Shining Armor, Twilight's brother?"

"How do you know Twily?" He became stern as he crossed the gang plank onto the ship.

"Do you even read the newspapers? I was under the impression that everybody knew about it at this point. Heck, slaves in the mines knew about it. Anyway, long story short, I saved her flank after she tried to arrest me. By the way, have you told her about your wedding yet?" His eyes went wide.

"Oh! I knew I was forgetting something! Between planning the wedding and bumping up security, it totally slipped my mind. I'll send her the invite."

"You're going to tell her in a note? Are you serious?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Never mind." Oh he's gonna catch hell for this. I think I'll just let him.

"Oh, where are my manners, welcome aboard the Possibility, while the captain is busy guiding us in, perhaps you'd like to take a look around?"

"I'll be tha one to give tha tooors." Steelhorn slid down a ladder from the bridge in the balloon. "After all, it's mah ship, yoor just rentin it."

"Yeah yeah, no need to get defensive. We'll give the tour together, besides, she still needs to meet the crew."

"Fair enough."

"Bridge, eatery, sleeping quarters, cannons, kitchen, tha best of tha best."

"Quite impressive, twenty five years it took you to build, all on your own?"

"Ya, I had to stop a couple times a get more materials, but I built her myself. Couple last minute additions by the brave captain here. I swear, head full of ideas, I'll never get to retire if I keep him around."

"Is that so....."

"Yeah, Twilight figures I should go to the academy and let them pick my brains apart. But, I have a schedule to keep, and that would take far too long. Maybe after, I'll publish a book. Then again, I don't really want to throw off Equestria's balance. Some things should remain unknown."

"Such as?"

"Nuclear fission." I deadpanned.

"Agreed." She said with some degree of shock that I knew about it.

'Duh, she raises a giant nuke in the sky every morning, of course SHE knows about it.'

"Well, now that the tour is over, would you care to introduce me to the crew?" Celestia asked.

"Right, of course. Well, there's me, then there's Gilda. She's the one who first found me passed out in the Dragon Badlands. We hung out for a while, did some training, planning and junk. And, then I got eaten by a dragon, but, as I like to say, I'm quite chewy, and he choked on me. That's when I got this." I pulled out Hades and held it up so it didn't sink into the floor. I twirled it a bit and put it back.

"Then, we met Trix in Stalliongrad after I got arrested for being a griffin. They wanted to sell my sword for bits! Well, she was in there because she had taken to stealing in order to eat, some sob story later, and we find ourselves busting her out. Then we saved BB on the border to the jungle."

"I can't help but notice you let her ride you around....." The sun princess pointed out.

"Yeah, it works. She can't fly and doesn't have the speed or endurance to keep up, and I get someone who keeps me in line, watches my back, and, you wouldn't believe it but, it's actually comfy having something there. I don't know why, but it is. So, we trained and fight as a single unit. It's pretty effective."

"And the diamond dogs?"

"Guys, say hello." Etch had his tail between his legs, while Growl was just standing there.

"Okay then.... Growl is normally quiet, but he's actually a brilliant artist. He designed out flag and everything. Etch, well, Etch is Etch. Hard worker, tends to talk a lot, although he's probably a bit scared of you which is why he's clammed up. You guys can go get back to work if you want."

"And... who is this? I don't recognize the species...."

"Hi! I'm Nadene! Griffin rescued my village from a bunch of meanies pretending to be them, and, I joined up so I could go on adventures. I'm a cat."

"Hi, um.... I'm... um... Maria and..... um..." She shrank and gave a whimper.

"She's just shy, Always has been. She's scared of a lot, she's still pretty much a kid and has been running most of her life, but, we look out for her and she's a fantastic cook. Nadene is a potion maker, Gilda is a ranger."

"Hi!" Shimmer popped out of Gilda's backpack.

"Oh.... hello."

"This is Shimmer, she's a baby dragon we adopted when we found her next to her mother after she passed away. Gilda's taken to raising her and they've become pretty attached over the two months since we found her."

"I see, well, has she met Spike?"

"No, unfortunately, Twilight forgot to take him with." Celestia face hoofed.

"I knew I forgot something. I was meaning to talk with her about that."

"Oh well. Then, we have Selma, the elder of the former Lemko tribe, big, beefy bunch of warriors, they were starving because the Romak were taking their food. Then you have Tiras over there on the gun, chief of the former Romak, stealthy ranged specialists. They were taking the food because their village got burned down by a dragon and they were also starving. The 40 or so cats you see are all that's left of both tribes. After I beat the dragon, found them food and negotiated between them, they named me their chief, and I merged the tribes into the 'White Wind'. Then I took them with me on this little campaign. Once we free the slaves we're going to send a bunch to uninhabited islands in the zebra archipelago and the southern rain forest. More food, less danger, more room."

"Won't that cause tensions with the cats and zebras?" Celestia asked.

"Well, the cats are mostly a peaceful lot, and there's still uninhabited areas of the forest, but, I'm hoping to get the tribes too. They're okay for the most part, even without a government, and are happy living their lives. They have an understanding and stay off each other's land. The zebras are a peaceful lot, and as long as we don't start moving in on their islands it should be fine. If problems show up, that's what I'll be there for."

"I see." She just looked around, taking everything in.

"And finally, you have Steelhorn, he's not actually part of the crew. We're just renting his ship and smith services for the duration of the tour. Shimmer is his apprentice. He acts all mean and greedy, but he's got a heart of gold and has wanted to sail his whole life on his ship. He wants to sell it after we finish test driving it, but, you're pretty much the only one who can or would buy it, me being the other."

"Well then, it's nice to meet you all, and I'd love to hear more of your adventures, but we're here." Celestia interrupted, as the ship docked at the castle, letting the freed prisoners off.

"They've had a rough time, make sure they get home safe. And say hi to Luna for me." She nodded and smiled. One of the ponies, a pegasus mare with orange coat and lime green mane, turned back to me.

"If it weren't for you, we would have been eaten by that dragon, which, after so long, I was actually looking forward to, having an end to the misery and pain. You gave me my life back. You gave all our lives back."

"Your point?"

"I, I'll never forget you."

"Pfft, whatever, get your flank home to your friends and family. You really want to thank me? Adopt a griffin. They could use some family too."

We began to sail away from Canterlot, the ponies down below looking up at the ship with awe.

"Grif, think we should give em a show?" Gilda asked.

"Oh, why the hell not? Musica a memoria"

Shiver my timbers, shiver my soul
Yo ho heave ho
There are men whose hearts as black as coal
Yo ho heave ho

And they sailed there ship 'cross the ocean blue
A blood thirsty captain and a cut throat crew.
Its a dark a tale as was ever told
Of the lust for treasure and a love of gold...

Shiver my timbers, shiver my sides
Yo ho heave ho
There are hungers as strong as the winds and tides
Yo ho heave ho

And those buccaneers drowned their sins in rum,
The devil himself would have to call em scum!
Every man on board would have killed his mate for a bag of
ginnys or a piece of eight, a piece of eight, a piece of eight
5 6 7 8

HULA WOKA HULA WOKA SOMETHING NOT RIGHT
MANY WICKY ICKY THINGS GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT
HULA WOKA HULA WOKA SAILOR MAN BEWARE

When the money's in the ground, there's murder in the air,
Murder in the air!

ONE MORE TIME NOW

Shiver my timbers, shiver my bones
Yo ho heave ho
There are secrets that sleep with old Davey Jones
Yo ho heave ho

When the main sails set and the anchor's weighed
Theres no turning back from any course thats laid

And when greed and villainy sail the sea,
you can bet your boots there'll be treachery,

TREACHERY!

YAAAAAA YA YA YA AAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA

Shiver my timbers, shiver my sails
Dead men tell no tales!

We passed out of the shield and into the open sky. Once we were clear, I had the crew fire off an unloaded full broadside, basically just make as much noise as possible. After all, the song really just isn't the same if you don't fire the cannons at the end.

"He sure knows how to make a statement, doesn't he Luna?"

"That he does. So, what does he have planned for the wedding?" Luna asked.

"I think I forgot to invite him." Celestia replied.

"You're forgetting a lot lately...."

"I have a lot on my mind." She defended.

"Still, you should make sure he knows to come." The younger sister suggested.

"Whatever, if he want's to be there, he'll show up invited or not."

Ponyville (64)

Ponyville

Given a couple days to get over Selma's death, I was feeling okay. Maria still wasn't feeling too good, and Geirmund had finally finished his new setup. Having exposed machine parts meant it was easier to fix, but also easier to damage, and so this time, he decided on having it all be enclosed, much like Trixie's fake hoof. Furnace and Cable were actually the ones who did most of the work, since being broken, he couldn't really build his new gear himself. Steelhorn helped with the design a bit, and once all was said and done, Geirmund has some shiny new stainless steel wings, and a pair of shoulder mounted lasers, which fed directly on the magic stored in his horn and would move independently of one another based on his thoughts. All of it was hooked into metal body armor with built in climate control to keep his body at the right temperature, humidity etc. Since he couldn't use magic other than telekinesis, he decided he'd rather have that as a form of offense. He looked like Robocop as a pony. With lasers. His head wasn't covered though, except for by a lens over his right eye which could magnify things, and a metal horn cover. He still had the small tools folded away in there so he could work, except they were hidden behind solid plates protecting the internal systems.

"Ah, it was about time zat I got an upgrade. I feel twenty years younger." His wife ran her hoof over his steel body armor, and he shuddered at the touch.

"My my, such a big, strong stallion. Cold steel, my favorite."

"Should I leave the two of you alone?" I teased.

"Could you?" They thought I was serious.

"Say no more." That crazy mare thinks robotic body parts are kinky. Okay then. I think I'll just leave them to do whatever they're about to do.

"Wait, in the forge? NO! Go to your own room to do that!"

"Spoil sport." Freud huffed at me as the two of them just about skipped down the hall together. I shook my head to clear it of the mental image I got, as well as unwanted thoughts as to what kind of 'tools' he had installed in there. Again UNWANTED THOUGHTS.

As we approached Ponyville, I started to read a paper I had picked up in a town we passed. It wasn't one of our concert stops, after all, we had a time table to keep, but we just picked up supplies and the local news.

"Hey Gilda, we made front page."

"Let me see that."

After lighting the Statue of Harmony and dancing up a storm in Manehatten, which, despite many of the high class ponies finding it 'uncouth' and 'rowdy', the concert put on by the Griffin Pirates was a huge success. The message of their mission spread out over all of Equestria inside of a couple hours, although whether or not ponies are willing to join them on their adventure remains to be seen.

The second instance was in the south, Las Pegasus to be specific, where the now famous,(or perhaps infamous) crew rode into town on the top of a train car, and brought together a spontaneous concert at the station. Oddly enough, they did not bring any music equipment with them, and there was none present on the locomotive, however the songs could be heard throughout half the city. Their method of doing this remains unknown. What we do know however, is that these songs are not Equestrian in origin. Following investigation, it was found that Princess Celestia herself has some sort of connection with these playful ruffians. However, inquiry into their origins and even the nature of their relationship was met with 'No comment'.

The third instance of these former criminals was also in Las Pegasus, the very night after the concert. There was not a single dry eye in the club known as 'Neckties', a popular hangout for writers, poets, artists, and overly depressed or apathetic teenagers, after a vocal performance that has been dubbed 'Mad World'. Does this 'Griffin the griffin', more commonly called 'Griffin North Sky' or 'Griffin North' in some circles, the brigand and revolutionary that has been taking the world by storm, have a soft side? Is he perhaps a forlorn romantic, or vengeful victim of heartbreak?

While what he has done and what he plans to do are quite clear, his motivations and reasoning are subject to skepticism. Theories range from him being a hero chosen by destiny, to a tyrant conqueror, to an alien, to 'just a normal guy who's had enough'. We have been unable to contact him for inquiry, and his whereabouts are currently unknown, although he was last seen headed south from Las Pegasus, towards the Great Southern Rain Forest, and there is rumor that he will be present at the Grand Galloping Gala.

The event, held once every four years, has a history of ruin, with the previous one being brought to disaster by our very own, 'Element's of Harmony'. This brings the question, are the bearers of the element's really 'harmonic?' They have also been unavailable for question, but this reporter, for one, believes........ con't on page 12.

"Damn. Now everyone knows I'm not some heartless badass. *sigh* Nothing I can do about it now."

"Ah, don't worry so much Grif." Trixie pat me on the back. "It's the Equestria Inquirer. It's just a rumor mill. Nobody believes anything written in there anyways. Same with the Equestria Examiner. According to them, Shining Armor is actually a mare and you're the changeling king."

"Uggh, it's Fox News all over again. They're gonna get so much credit for making a lucky guess that ponies will actually start reading it. Well, let's go get ready I have a few songs I want to know what you think of before I use them."

"Ahhh! Oh god! Trixie! Cut! Cut it! Cut! CUTCUTCUTCUT Aaaaaahhhhhhnnnnnnnnggggggggg!" Gilda, Etch, Growl, Maria, Nadene, and myself, as well as all the cats and griffins were laying on the deck covering our ears. Trixie's horn stopped glowing, and she, as well as the Freuds, Shimmer, and Steelhorn looked at us puzzled.

"What? It was good! Dubstep right? I've heard something like that being played in clubs recently." Trixie stated

"Clubs? That's where you've been going when we stop in towns?" I asked, still wincing in pain, even after the music was gone.

"Hey, clubs are just as good as bars or inns for picking up info. You've got your connections, I've got mine." The unicorn replied smugly.

"I think.... I think it's our hearing." I responded.

"What?" Gilda asked.

"From what I can tell, pony hearing is about the same level, or perhaps a slight bit better than a human's, while griffins and diamond dogs, as predators, have a highly developed sense. We can hear in a wider range, and it comes in louder and more clearly. I've listened to that song before, but, as a griffin, it was downright painful. I can't even imagine what Etch and Growl are feeling right now." My question was answered as Etch vomited on the deck, Growl holding his ears back.

"What?" Gilda asked again. It occurred to me that it wasn't that she didn't understand, it was that she couldn't hear me. I waved it off, and waited for the ringing to leave our ears.

"As I was saying, we can hear better than ponies and humans, since we're predators, and the dogs are.... dogs. If ponies can listen to.... that okay, then we have better hearing than them. It's why dog whistles work. Great, dog whistles probably work on griffins too. Well, let's put 'using their sensitive hearing as a weakness' plan in the trash bin. Doesn't do us any good trying to use it on them if it kills us too. Ten seconds and Etch was emptying his stomach on the floor, and we were all ready to rip out our own eardrums. Remind me not to go to any raves as a griffin."

One more day, and we finally saw Ponyville on the horizon. We'd be there by noon.

"So, between here and Canterlot, it's where everything of any importance whatsoever happens apparently. What they show on the show anyway."

"What show? What is zis show you speak of?" Geirmund tilted his head.

"You know what? Don't bother asking. It would freaking BLOW your mind if I told you, and I'm really tired of having to explain it. So, I'm not telling anyone anymore. It's an alien thing. In case you haven't noticed by now, I'm pretty much a freak. Or do I need to sing Safety Torch again to convince you?"

"No, no convincing needed." He quickly shut his trap.

"Well, I guess this is the second chance for us three. We each went here once before, and each time, we screwed up majorly. Looks like you only get to make a first impression twice." Trixie and Gilda nodded. "This town is by far the most screwed up in Equestria as well. Everyone here is crazy, and so, to incite the wrath of the universe.. *ahem* I have a baaaaaad feeling about this. There! Now we're absolutely screwed during our stay!"

"Grif, why would you do that? You're just playing into the laws of causality. You should know better, I mean, you TAUGHT them to me." Trixie asked.

"Because, it's Ponyville. Things are destined to go wrong anyway. I think it's because it's close to the Everfree, and the Tartarus gate within, but no matter what, the craziest things always happen here. I figure, as long as we're doomed, we might as well do it in epic fashion. Lighten up. We'll probably have fun running from an angry mob, or fighting off an invasion or something. We'll probably get run out of town the second the three of us enter. After all, we've all got bad reps here. Well okay, so I'm the only one who didn't make an ass out of myself in front of the entire town, but still, word got around of what I did. I figure they won't be too impressed with us."

"I sure hope you're wrong."

"There ya go! Have low expectations and you'll never be disappointed, and if things turn out okay, then it's a pleasant surprise."

"Hmm. What do we do now. I mean, we're actually ahead of schedule. Planning on having the concert at sundown, but we're already here. Wanna mingle?"

"Sure. Why not. I feel like pranking Dash." Gilda smiled deviously.

"No thanks. I don't really feel like making myself known just yet. I'd rather be run out of town after the concert, and by fans, not an angry mob." Trixie replied.

"Imma go see Pinkie Pie!" Nadene just about sang as she hopped on Maria, who seemed just as excited to meet the pink mare. After all, they could both cook and bake. Nadene just likes hugging fluffy things, and Pinkie is beyond fluffy.

"Fluttershy." Growl stated simply.

"Oh, we maaaaay want to leave our weapons and armor on board. Ponyville is pretty skittish. If we don't wanna scare everyone off, then we should go unarmed."

"What about you? You're taking Hades." Gilda asked.

"That's because I don't mind scaring everyone off." They looked at me, and I just shrugged my shoulders. "What? I'm only gonna go see a specific group of ponies anyways. I don't need a crowd surrounding me. You read the paper, the press is out to get me. I may have to beat them off with a stick, and if that's the case, I'm gonna bring the biggest stick I can."

"Alright, fine."

"Hop on Shimmer. I'm headed to the library anyways, you may as well meet Spike." Gilda, grabbed Growl and we both took off, each headed to our own destinations. First stop, the library.

"Oh, hello. How can..... I...... help...... you?"

"Oh come on Twilight. We've known each other for how long, and you still freeze up every time you see me. Tsk tsk." I shook my head in disappointment.

"Um, would you like me to put on some tea?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Sure, do you have that green tea blend you had on the ship?"

"Of course. SPIIIIIIIIIKE. We have guests! Can you put some green tea on?" The unicorn called into the kitchen.

"Yeah yeah, I'm gettin it." The familiar voice of Spike called back.

"So.... um, what's the reason behind your visit? If you don't mind me asking."

"Well, just stopping in, since we're in the neighborhood. Also, got any books on dragon biology? Shimmer here has some lumps on her back. I think it's her wings about to sprout, but I don't really know." The dragon, which had yet to be noticed due to being on my back, popped her head out from around the side.

"Wow! You got... um, big?"

"Thanks?" Shimmer replied questioningly, not sure if it was a compliment.

"Here's the tea Twili....... who's this?"

"Spike, this is Shimmer. She's gotten a bit bigger since I last saw her." Spike's size hadn't changed. His head still came up to Twilight's chin, while Shimmer was, standing upright, about a head taller than Twilight, so, Spike's head came up to her stomach.

"Hi!" I looked between Spike's emerald green eyes and Shimmers ruby red ones. Looking at him, I could tell he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do or say. She was slender, tall, muscular, and her face had started turning into a proper muzzle instead of the stubbly little snouts Spike and the ponies have. If I were a dragon, I'd say she looked pretty good. No idea what's going through the kid's head right now. Oh, probably 'brain.exe has performed an illegal operation.' Yeah. That's it. Didn't help he was wearing an apron.

"Um, Twilight? Book?"

"Oh, yeah. Here. How long?"

"Same as last time." She scowled.

"What? You know I'll return it eventually. Shimmer, sit and enjoy some tea with Twilight and Spike. Also, be on your best behaviour. I have some things to do. I'll be back in a while. Get to know each other." Spike looked at me over Shimmer's shoulder, and I gave him a thumbs up before I walked out, bringing the book back to the ship to read later.

"So..... um, awkward?"

Gilda

"Oh, this is going to be PRICELESS." I let out a snicker as I flew up to Rainbow Dash's cloud home, where she was, as expected, sleeping. Perfect. I landed in front of the door, and knocked on it. I heard shuffled movement from within, so I knocked again.

"Yeah yeah! I'm comin! Geez." She walked up to the door, then looked through the window in it.

"Gilda, what are you doing here?"

"Have a minute? I need to talk to you." She opened the door. Perfect......

"What do you need?"

"For you to go back to bed." And then a vial of knockout gas shattered on her face.

"Hey! What's the big..... ideeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa." She passed out, and I grabbed the limp pegasus and flew her down to a place she would only find herself in in her worst nightmare. Carousel Boutique. I entered the shop, ignoring the looks I was getting from those who passed by for carrying a knocked out Rainbow Dash through town.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique where everything is sleek...... why is Rainbow Dash unconscious?" She glared at me angrily.

"I knocked her out."

"Why?" She backed up slightly, probably afraid.

"Something about her needing a makeover. She just got soooooooo excited to have you do her mane and dress her up, she passed out from the sheer thrill of it all when I suggested it to her." She looked at me, clearly not buying the excuse.

"Okay, so maybe I used sleeping gas, but hey, you get to give her a makeover, what do you care?"

"To do this against her will would be a betrayal of our friendship."

"And for you NOT to do it would just be selfish. She doesn't know what she's missing. If you just do it this once, who knows, she might like it. If not, you apologize, and she chases me to the ends of the earth trying to get vengeance." She still didn't seem convinced.

"Come on, you'll never get a chance like this again!" She thought for a little longer, before a wicked smile adorned the bleach unicorn's face.

"Well, I do need to get her back after the 'green mane dye' incident. Oh, why not."

"Good, I'm gonna stay right here so I can see the look on her face when she wakes up. She'll be out for two hours by the way, so take as much time as you need and frill her up good."

Griffin

"Well, I got the book, I'll read it later. Shimmer is going to spend some time with Twilight and Spike, which means, I'm free to do what I want. I think I'll just walk around for a bit. I never actually got to get a good look at this place. I'll eventually have to round up my crew members and head back so we can start the show. Might as well figure out where everything is.

'Hmm, Ponyville elementary. Cheerilee teaches school here. Might see the CMC around. Then again, I might not want to. I think I'll just sit Lyra style on this bench. Wait, a bench looking towards a school playground? If someone sat on one of those on earth, everyone would think they were a kidnapper or something. But this is Equestria. It's not creepy or anything. Let's see if I can spot anyone I know. Hmm, Bon Bon and Colgate. Dr. Whooves. Filthy Rich. Lyra, walking right towards me. Lyra? Oh wait, human conspiracy theorist. Riiiiight. This could turn out really bad. Well! Let's dive into it headfirst! And by that, just stay sitting here.

She trotted over, looked at me puzzled, then sat on the bench human style, same style as me.

"Sooooooooooo." She started. I said nothing. Then she said 'humans', trying to make it seem like she was coughing. Yep, that's my cue.

"So, how about them humans eh?" I asked, causing her to nearly fall over.

"Shhh! Not so loud!" She hissed, trying to make me whisper. "You don't want anypony thinking we're crazy." I had a laugh at this, since the both of us pretty much were, her obsession, and my world jumping.

"What does it matter? So, how'd you know it was me?"

"Well, for one, the way you sit. It's how they sit, or at least are supposed to. Two, the letter. I got it from Spike, and he said it was sent by you, so, I put two and two together, and realized that you must have one of them on your crew. Combined with all of the music you've been playing, which clearly isn't Equestrian, it's fairly obvious to me."

"Am I that transparent?"

"Well, to one who is unlearned, they wouldn't recognize the signs, but, one who's been researching humans their whole life, it was pretty obvious. I still can't believe it. You found a human, and convinced them to join your crew! Where did you find them? Is there a secret human colony hidden somewhere?" I tired to resist laughing. She thought I found a human somewhere in Equestria, or maybe one of the other provinces. She doesn't realize that I'm the human. This is too rich! Let's see how far I can go with this.

"Well, I can't tell you too much. Need for secrecy and all. But here's what I can say. There are definitely more than one, and they're hidden in plain sight. That's really all I can give you."

"Can you show me? I want to see him... or her." I just outwardly laughed at this.

"Well, I could but that doesn't mean I will. They're hidden for a reason. I can't just blow it all out of the water. Sorry. Can't help ya there." She pouted and looked at me with pleading eyes, like when the parasprite ate her dessert.

"That's not going to work on me you know." She really laid it on thick, even starting to sniffle a bit.

"Nope." Tears started openly flowing from her eyes as she whimpered.

"Not gonna happen." Suddenly, she lost her sad face, and got a devious one.

"Well then, I happen to know for a fact that your crew needs unicorns. I guess I'll just have to join then, won't I? Won't be able to hide the human from me if I'm on board." With a flick of her tail she walked off, smiling smugly to herself.

"Fuck. Might as well get newspaper. The last one was old, might be some new events unfolding."

Growl

I walked for some time, ignoring the frightful glares of the ponies around me. I am used to that look by now. I no longer care. I am looking for one thing and one thing alone. And I think I have found it. A small cottage near the woods, almost overtaken by nature, small animals running around. I almost want to paint a picture of it. They frantically scatter as I approach. I knock on the door, and hear a familiar squeak from within, followed by the delicate clip clop of hooves. The door opens, and with one eye hidden behind her mane, Fluttershy looks at me.

"OH! Come in! I.... wasn't expecting to see you again.... but I mean, I don't mind seeing you again, I mean, I'm glad to see you again... um..."

"Shh. That's quite alright. I just stopped by to say hello, since we are passing through." I entered the idyllic cabin, and was immediately assaulted by the pleasant smell of nature..... and an angry white rabbit.

"Passing through?"

"We are on a musical tour. I do not care for it. I find it.... too loud, but the captain and the others seem to enjoy themselves. We're playing our music in Ponyville tonight, before we go check on the colony. Then, we'll head to Canterlot to pick up any who want to come with us. We have some free time."

"And you decided to spend it with me? Oh... oh my." She blushed and hid behind her mane again, all the while I ignored the rabbit kicking me in the foot.

"Tea?" She asked.

"Yes, please." She motioned for me to sit on the couch. I did so, and she left to prepare the drink. The rabbit stepped up on the end of my nose, brought it's food wide, and kicked it. Of course, he just fell off. I picked him up by the leg, and spoke to him in hushed tones.

"Ah yes, Angel if I'm not mistaken. Fluttershy has told me ALL about you. Now you listen here you little rat. While she might put up with your antics, I will not, and if you do that again, or I ever hear of you treating that nice pony poorly again, I won't hesitate to eat you." I opened my mouth to show him my teeth, capable of grinding gemstones into dust, then put him back on the table.

"Understood?" He glared at me, so I showed him my teeth again, and he cowered in fear.

"Good."

"Oh! I see you've met Angel. He's not being mean is he?" The cream coloured pony asked as she returned to the room with tea.

"No, he's been quite well mannered. We were just, getting to know each other is all." Angel quickly nodded, stating that was indeed the case. I wouldn't really harm him, but, it's instinct. He'll definitely think twice now. I fear it may be because she coddles him that he is a spoiled brat. At least now we can enjoy our tea quietly.

Griffin

"Stalliongrad? Dragon slaying wolf? It's not Echo, because he's already known. If it weren't for the fact that I know about the prophecy, and all the crap that's been going on since Discord popped the world bubble, I'd call bullshit. Definitely one of us. Looks like another player has entered this little game, hehe, hehe, hehehahahaha! Whoever he is, he's got some catching up to do. Should be fun. Things are going to get interesting real soon." I cackle maniacally, then catch myself.

'The hell's up with that? Trixie is the witch, not me. Whatever, time to continue my walk.'

"Blank flanks! Seriously? You're how old and you still don't have your cutie marks? That is like... so... LAME!" I heard two voices tease. DT and SS. The prissy pants squad.

"Yeah, and you still can't fly. What's wrong, wings too small? Maybe your not a pegasus, maybe you're a chicken? That's it! You're just a stupid bird who can't fly!" Someone else. Don't know who these guys are, but there's only one pegasus in the world that gets called a chicken, and she's president of the Rainbow Dash fan club. I walked up behind them, so my shadow loomed over them.

"Ahem. And just what exactly is wrong with being a bird, or a blank flank for that matter?" They turned around and their jaws drop. A colt, eggshell white pegasus with brown mane, hammer cutie mark, was a little late turning around.

"Because they're lame that's....... why?" Eyes wide open in fear, he looked at me with the sun behind my head, casting a shadow over my face. Time to be scary. I lowered my sunglasses and gave them a piercing glare, my blazing blue orbs looking into their very souls. I whispered.

"Boo." They all let out a high pitched shriek, even the boys, then ran off. When the dust cleared, I saw Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Pip.

"Well well, what have we here." They looked at me then walked backwards, looking like they were about to run.

'Crap, forgot to turn my scary off. One sec..... aaaaaand done.'

"Hi! What's your name?" Super perky. Even though I already know who they are.

"Um... ah, ahm Applebloom......" The little yellow filly stuttered.

"Hmm, Applebloom, Applebloom, where HAVE I heard that name before...... oh! I know. You're Applejack's sister aren't you?"

"Huh? How do ya know Applejack?" She asked, having suddenly lost her fear.

"Oh, no real reason, I mean, I'm only the world famous Captain of the Griffin Pirates." Collective gasps.

"Say, I'm hungry, want something to eat? I'm buying."

"Applejack says I shouldn't talk ta strangers....."

"And right she is! Especially when they're dastardly pirate strangers. So, hows about we go talk to her, and see if she says it's okay?"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" The four called out, and we headed to Sweet Apple Acres.

"No offense." Scootaloo piped up. "But you don't really......"

"Act like a pirate? Oh, I know. Then again, pirates died out a couple hundred years ago, and I'm still around so, I guess I'm doing something right that they did wrong eh?"

"Do you have a ship?" Pip asked excitedly.

"Yes, I do. It's an airship actually. Right up there. It's a little ways off, because we don't want anyone to see it yet. Now, don't tell anyone, but, we're having a concert here in town as part of our tour. Free admission, since we're kind of just having it in the middle of town. We're gonna park the ship above the town square, using the stage. We're all gonna drop down on ropes, then make a clearing around it so we can have some room. How about I tell them to let you four through. It would kind of be like having backstage passes. Get to meet all of us, you know the deal."

"Really?" The four of them were super excited now.

"In fact..... I bet you could sing a song with us."

"I don't know....." Sweetie Belle began.

"You might get your cutie marks for being rock stars. That's an awesome special talent right?"

"But, what if we're not good singers?"

"Trust me, you'll do fine, now let's go find Applejack and tell her what you're all up to."

Nadene

I rode Maria through town, getting strange looks from all the ponies. They all just look so..... huggable! No, I can't get distracted. I need to find the house that looks like it's made out of sweets, and there it is. Well, that was easy. I hopped off, and the two of us walked in.

"*GAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSPPP* Nadene!"

"*GAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSPPP* Pinkie!" And then we hugged. She dove into my arms, and I grabbed her, and started petting her mane. She looked up at me with a smile beaming on her face.

"Mr and Mrs Cake! Come quick! It's the kitty I was telling you about!" She called into the back. The yellow stallion and blueish mare came out, with a look of shock on their faces.

"I told you she was reaaaaaaaaaly tall."

"Hi!"

"Oh, um.... hello?"

"I'm Nadene! I'm a kitty cat! And you're bakers! Maria likes cooking too. Maybe she can help? Oh! Where are the twins? They must be sooooo cute!"

"It's like she's another Pinkie Pie......" Mr Cake whispered.

"Should we run?" Mrs Cake replied.

"And leave the bakery undefended?"

"Do we sacrifice our sanity?"

"You do know I can hear you both, right?" I asked, my head suddenly between theirs. They jumped, then landed on the floor.

"Don't worry about a thing! We'll be on our super duper best behaviour!" Pinkie promised.

"Nadene, aren't we forgetting something?" Maria reminded me.

"Oh! Yeah, we're having a concert in the middle of town. Right in front of your store actually, see? Out there, on the stage! You're gonna have lotsa hungry customers, so get baking!" Pinkie gasped again, grabbed both Maria and I, and dragged us into the kitchen to prepare.

"This is gonna be so much fun!"

Griffin

"Well, considerin all tha trouble ya put us through, all fer nuthin, I can't say I'm glad ta see ya again, but, seein as how ya mean no harm, I don't suppose I can say no now can ah?" The crusaders beamed when Applejack said yes. She leaned in close and whispered in my ear.

"You do realize what yer signing yerself up for, don'tcha? Ah mean, foalsittin, all by yerself?"

"I'm gonna go pick up Shimmer in a couple minutes, she'll definitely be able to help. And besides, they'll be too busy to get in trouble. All I had to do was say 'Cutie Mark' and I got them hook, line, and sinker. Besides, I already know Sweetie Belle's special talent is singing, she may very well get it here, so it's not lying." I whispered back.

"Why you clever little..... aww shucks. Just git outta here ya scoundrel. And take good care of mah sister."

"Well, we got the okay from Applejack, let's see Rarity next."

The five of us walked back into town, when I spotted Diamond Tirara and Silver Spoon.... and another pony I didn't recognize. It's not Filthy Rich, I'd remember him, and he's actually got his head on straight from what I know of him. Must be Spoon's dad.

"There he is! There's the guy!" The prissy parade pointed me out, and lead her father over to me.

"What can I do ya for?" I asked, not really caring. DT and SS had smug looks on their faces.

"I want you to apologize to my daughter and her friend." He said sternly.

"For what?" I was somewhat confused.

"For scaring them! They came running up to me, talking about how some big shadowy griffin was threatening them. Now, I'm sure you didn't ACTUALLY threaten them, fillies with their overactive imaginations and all, but I'd like you to apologize for frightening them."

"I'm not sure if I remember them.... hmm..... nope, doesn't ring a bell." The crusaders behind me were giggling.

"Come on, surely you remember the looks of fear on the faces of these two darling little angels?" He pushed the pair in front of me.

"OH! You two! Well sooooooorry. I don't mean to be scary, I kind of just...... am..... It comes with the job. Can I go now?" Sarcasm is my strong point. He didn't look too happy.

"Well, I suppose so." He gave in. Good, now time to reverse the roles.

"Also, I don't remember seeing them afraid. What I DO remember quite clearly though, is the look of smug, sadistic satisfaction on their faces, alongside a pair of colts who.... aren't here at the moment, while they taunted these four, for nothing more than being who they are. They were so torn up about it, I had to give them backstage passes to my concert tonight just to calm them down. Now, I know children really don't mean to be so cruel, they just are, so, I'd like if your daughter and her friend would apologize to my four newest friends." The crusaders came out from behind me just beaming smiles. DT and SS looked horrified.

"Spoon......" He grunted with impatience.

"Sorry...." They both hung their heads, then ran off. The crusaders were just all giggles.

"Well, glad that's over with. Apologizing is never fun, because you have to accept that you've hurt someone, whether you intend it or not. Names Griffin. Griffin the griffin, maybe ya heard of me?"

"Ah, yes, the famous so called 'pirate' who's got connections with Canterlot royalty, and is leading a rebellion in the northern territories. You're far more...... pleasant, than the papers make you out to be. Names Stanley, Stanley Silver. I run Silver's Silverware Emporium." The silver coated, silver maned, heck, silver eyed, and apparently silver tongued, pony introduced himself.

"Sorry, can't say I've heard of you. Don't really have much use for kitchen utensils in my line of work. More of a gemstone kind of guy."

"Gems? Wasn't there a large hold put on all gemstones, due to the fact that they're the product of slave labour?" He asked.

"Indeed there was, I however, am one of the few who have unlimited access. You see, I plunder diamond dog ships and holds occasionally, freeing the workers and whatnot, and the gems I get a hold of, since I'm a griffin, and they are being dug up BY griffins, rightfully belong to me, so long as I use the profits to support the effort of liberating the northern provinces, and setting up new homes for those I've freed."

"I see..... You wouldn't happen to have any in your hold would you? I've been hard pressed to come up with fine quality gems with which to make the ornate pieces that the Canterlot upper class buy. It's my main source of income."

"Oh, I think I can help you in that regard. After the concert, we'll be staying the night in town, so, I figure I can set something up between you and Steelhorn. He's our smith, as well as our finance officer. He's got a keen eye, and drives a hard bargain, so give him a fair deal, but don't let him gouge you. Talk to you later. Right now, I gotta get something to eat." We continued walking, all the while the three were asking me the usual, like if griffins get cutie marks, what my special talent is, all the easy questions, which I happily answered. Griffins don't get cutie marks, and my special talent is being scary. Whether it's so smart it's scary, so cool it's scary, or just plain so scary it's scary.

We arrived at Rarity's to find her busy working on....... a sleeping Rainbow Dash? And Gilda was in the store too. I think I can figure out pretty easily what her 'prank' was.

"You know, since Applejack was okay with it, I think Rarity will be too. We best leave her to her work. What about you Pip?"

"My parents know Applejack. They'll be fine with it."

"What about you Scootaloo?"

"Yeah, they're cool." No hint of sadness, nothing? Either she's really good at hiding her sadness, or she's not an orphan. I think I've read too many fanfictions, and just assumed she was.

"Okay, so, who knows someplace good to eat, preferably, where they serve lots of yummy food?"

"How about Sugarcube corner?" Applebloom suggested.

"Perfect! Cake for lunch, and since I'm buying, feel free to buy the most expensive thing on the menu!"

"Yaaaaaaaay." Yes, I am a bad influence. I'm so gonna catch hell from Applejack for this, and I REGRET NOTHING!

This is the story with the dragon slaying wolf.

SlenderGrif Bakes Cupcakes (81)

SlenderGrif Bakes Cupcakes

=Starlight Wisp=

Two days have already passed, and so far, nothing scary of any kind has happened. There were a couple surprises, cats and griffins jumping out to say 'boo', but other than that, it was actually kind of a let down. After the speech in class, I was expecting something a little more..... horrific, from the captain, but he's done nothing at all. He just goes about his daily routine. It's really strange. I was expecting him to try and use some kind of magic to scare us. Surprise has done more to shock us, and that consisted of blowing streamers in our faces.

"Gotta get ready. Mane brushed? Check. I really ought to dye it. Algae green isn't the most flattering.... and it doesn't match my blue coat at all. Sometimes I wish I was good at invisibility or chameleon magic instead of walking through walls. Uggh..... maybe I'll learn something that can deal with grooming in class today. Yeah.... that would be nice, just cast a spell and suddenly you have the perfect mane...." Walking to magic class again, I saw a notice on the door that everypony else was standing around, staring at.

"Class is cancelled because the captain has gone missing? Where could he have gone, we're on a ship! Somepony would have seen him leaving if he flew off, and he would have told somepony." My thoughts exactly.

"I don't know, but I've been hearing straaaaaaange noises coming from the kitchen at night....." The white pegasus popped up behind me with her usual cheer.

"Oh, Surprise. There you are, I was starting to worry you had gone missing too. And what do you mean strange noises?"

"Oh.... grumbles, moaning. The captain DID welcome us to 'the haunted house of horrors'. Do you think the ship is haunted? I bet it is! I bet there's a ghoulish ghosty on board! And I'm gonna catch it!"

"Oh please. That's just silly. There's no such thing as ghosts."

"There totally is! I'm gonna stake out the kitchen tonight...... um.... come with me?" She drooped slightly, showing she was at least a slight bit afraid to be skulking around the ship at night.

"What? No! Why?" I'm not about to just stay up all night looking for something that isn't there.

"Because what if there IS a ghost? Then I'd be all alone with a scary monster!" She gave me begging, puppy dog eyes.

"There's no such thing...."

"Then you can come with me and prove it. Unless..... you're scared." Her face turned devious.

"Fine......." I huffed in defeat.

__________________________________________________________

"I don't know why I let you talk me into this...." I asked Surprise as we crept into the mess hall. How DID she talk me into it? All she did was call me a scaredy cat, and suddenly I'm involved in this massive time waster. I should be sleeping right now!

"Because you're a silly filly!"

"Don't remind me, and be quiet. If there really is something here, like you say there is, how are we supposed to sneak up on it if you keep talking?"

*Uuuuuunnnnnnnnn*

"What was that?!?" I asked a little too loudly.

"See! I told you! Now shh.... let's sneak up on it." After I just finished telling you we needed to be quiet?

"Oh geez...."

When we entered the kitchen and turned the lights on, the gem lamps drawing from the power grid and bringing a pale light. We found nothing out of the ordinary as we searched. Just the regular stainless steel appliances, marble counter tops, a sink with suds from the earlier dishes, and empty food trays stacked neatly for breakfast in the morning.. We made several passes, each resulting in nothing abnormal.

"See? There's nothing here. We should just....."

*Unnnnnnnnnggggg*

"There it is again! It sounds like it's coming from the pantry!" The pegasus lead the way in a blur of pure speed to the storage area for canned food, and when we opened the door............

"Oh sweet Celestia." There hung the captain from large hooks, covered in red. His head hung as he let out sounds of anguish, his wings, chest, and stomach covered in thick red goop.

"Blood?"

"Uhhhhhh....." He moaned in pain. Well......... time to scream now. I let out the most bloodcurdling shriek possible. Awakened by my cries of terror, Griffin's eyes shot open and locked on me with an intensity that should not be present in one so injured. Strangely, Surprise hadn't made any sound at all.

"Star.................. run........" He said in a begging whisper. I turned to find my companion glaring at me evilly. Her mane had gone flat, and she wore a demented smile as she held up a tray of cupcakes with red frosting, her hoof covered in red as well

"Star... try one. They're... 'Griffin-tastic' Teehee!" That's not frosting..... it's MEAT! Griffin meat! She cut up the captain and turned him into cupcakes, while he's still alive! I backed away and bumped into the hanging griffin, who then fell from his restraints to the floor with a thud.

"Help me! Heeeeeelp me...." He reached out with a red covered claw and grasped at me in desperation. I backpedaled right into Surprise's waiting hooves, the pegasus then pinning me against the floor. She licked up the side of my cheek and whispered in my ear as she nibbled on it.

'She's psychotic! She turns ponies into pastries! I need to get out of here and tell somepony! I knew that nopony that energetic was right in the head!'

"Delicious..... I think you'll make a fantastic pie, now hold still...." She drew a kitchen knife and held it in her mouth. In her moment of distraction I threw her off me and ran out of there as fast as I could, screaming the entire time. I slammed the door behind me and held it closed with my body, only for it to suddenly fall out of the way.

'The doors swing both ways.......... THE DOOR SWINGS BOTH WAYS!'

I saw the blood covered captain standing above, glaring down at me.

"Well, I guess you failed that test. Time to get this ketchup washed off." He said with the utmost calm. EeeeeeeehhhHH??!?!!?

"Wait.................... That was........" Suddenly, it clicked. This was all an elaborate method to scare me, and it worked! Now I was fuming mad. I glared as he calmly dumped a bucket of water on himself, then turned back to me with the biggest grin I'd ever seen.

"Starlight Wisp.... you seem tense.... is something the matter?"

"Is... something............" I felt my eye twitch. "How COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I WAS SCARED FOR MY LIFE."

"I helped!" Surprise said gleefully as she bounced around the room, her mane back to it's normal, poofy self.

"It's good that you were scared. Surprise may not be a monster, but in this business, we fight monsters. Dragons, some diamond dogs, and any other manner of creatures will eat a pony if they get the chance. If she had been one of them, you'd be dead. I may not have been hurt, but you thought I was. I've seen things a lot more gruesome than that, and you need to be prepared for what you'll see. You saw something scary, and froze up. What you should have done is immediately get someone else, then defended yourself with the protect spell, and prepared an offense. Now you see the reason behind it... right?" I felt like throwing up. All that, and it was just a cruel joke? Although, he did give fair warning. Is this what he was talking about? Is this what he sees everyday, if not by the scene around him, then by his mind? Is this what he's preparing us for? The horrors of the real world, outside the realm of Celestia?

"It's still not very nice...."

"Well, I'm not a very nice person. Besides, it's much more fun on the giving end than the receiving. So, what do you say to freaking the rest of the crew out? I have an idea I can only pull off with your help...."

=Dusty Trails=

"Class cancelled again? Just practice on our own? What kind of ship is he running, setting up classes then not showing up to teach three days in a row?" The nerdy unicorn next to me whined as he came back to the common room. I checked myself over to make sure I was presentable. Dark earth coat with a hint of moss green, and a mane with bangs that went to either side of my face, just outside of my field of vision, framing my mug, but hiding the small scar on the side of my head. Hey, I'm on a ship full of mares, many of them from Canterlot, and I haven't seen any action for years. If I could hook up with one of those rich nobles....... well, they'll be more impressed with my skills in the field, but have to look my best anyways.

"Ah, come on. If he ain't here, he ain't here. We just keep up with what we were doin before. Say....... anypony seen Surprise lately? She's normally bouncin around, and I haven't seen her since the day after the captain disappeared."

"I........" I turned around to find the unicorn from before, looking terrified and miserable.

"Whoa.... hey. What's the matter Wisp?"

"Him."

"What?"

"He's always watching......"

"What are you talking about?"

"L...l....last night...... She.... she heard noises coming from the kitchen...... She wanted me to come with, so we could keep each other safe while we checked it out..... and that's when I saw......him."

"Saw who?"

"I......... can't speak his name. He's thin... and he wears a black suit and tie.......... He has no face, and he's made of darkness itself...... He was so... slender...... and, the darkness came...... and it grabbed her... and she screamed my name as she was pulled into it....... I... I think that's what happened to the captain."

"Ha. Very funny. You're just trying to scare me, right? I thought the point was to scare his crew, not ourselves." At which point, she grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me dead in the eye.

"Does it LOOK like I'm joking here! It..... it pointed at me....... It didn't say anything... but.... a voice in my head.....you're next. I........" She whimpered and tears fell from her face, then collapsed in my hooves.

"I..... stay with me?"

"Oh... alright.... Don't be such a foal."

______________________________________________________________

Night came, and with it, Starlight Wisp began shaking in fear in her bunk, which, considering she was in the one above mine, kept me awake as well. I was about to complain, when it abruptly stopped. I got up to see what was happening, and found that she was out of bed, just, staring at a piece of paper on the wall. It had black scribbles of what looked like a thick stick figured, and letters scratched into it saying 'Run'.

"He comes......" She whispered.

"Who?"

"Slenderman, Slenderman, dressed in darkest suit and tie. Slenderman, Slenderman, you most certainly will..." She turned to look at me with a crazy gleam in her eye. "DIE......" She giggled like a demented foal, then skipped out the door merrily.

"Starlight, WAIT!" I shouted as I ran after her. This woke the rest of the room, who started complaining about the noise.

I ran out the door after her to see her standing in the hall again, just as she had been in the room. I heard faint whispers in the air, and watched as one after another, the gem lights along the floor went out. Darkness crept along as I watched him come into view. His footsteps went *tap, tap, tap* on the wooden floor as he approached. Tendrils of shadow wiggling around, coming from his back, and a darkness creeping along the ground. Evil whispers hung in the air as a pool darker than the darkest night swirled around Starlight's feet. More tendrils sprang from the pool and wrapped around her as she began to sink into the floor. They were dragging her in!

"Dusty, HELP! I don't want to go!" I dove for her, but before I could reach her, she vanished. I pounded on the floor under the darkness, trying to get through and reach the mare that had come to me earlier today, so frightened. I said I'd stay with her, that I'd protect her, and I just let her get taken by this..... thing. I turned to look at 'Slenderman' with hate in my eyes, but he had no expression to return to me. It looked like the captain as a human, but it's face was ghostly white, and had no eyes, ears, nose, or mouth. It pointed at me, more evil whispers, and then I heard a voice in my mind, along with creepy music.

"You're next." Then, it sank into the darkness on the floor which Starlight fell into and vanished. The rest of the new recruits had come out after me, and paid witness to the whole event. I heard the sound of trickling water, and felt a puddle at my hooves.

"We're bucked."

________________________________________________________

=Griffin=

"So, I turned human, put on a mask, and used the umbra spell to wrap myself in shadows which made up both the suit and the tendrils, as well as the pool on the ground. I then used extinguo to put out the gem lamps, and had Starlight let herself fall through the floor and pull me through after. Finally, I used memoria a musica, a spell which allows me to put music directly into someone's mind, rather than the other way around like what we do at concerts, to put the song and the warning in his head. So, by the creative application of practical magic, as well as setting the scene prior, I made ten grown mares and stallions wet themselves. I told you, I'm scary. And now you see the importance of what we're learning. If just myself and one unicorn were capable of that, imagine the horror you could bring to our enemies if we worked together. That, and..... you may just have a few new tricks for next Nightmare Night. At the same time, you also see the importance of keeping your wits about you, and knowing how to deal with this kind of situation. A simple light spell would have gotten rid of the darkness and exposed me. Tomorrow's class, how to use the water spell to prevent blood loss, as well as clean possible contaminants such as bodily fluids without touching them.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Griffin is bucked in the head. As a child, was he dropped from a great height...... repeatedly? I can appreciate good old fashioned crazy, like with Surprise, but him.... he has something broken inside. Still, his lessons are useful, and I've learned a lot about..... well, everything. I can also appreciate how much effort you put in to keeping Equestria safe, now that I've seen what some parts of the rest of the world are like. I guess things are only taken for granted till you have to go without them. You keep all the horrors of the world at bay so we don't have to face them ourselves, and I don't know how often you hear this but, you have my sincere thanks.

Starlight Wisp.

Nuclear Launch Detected.... No, Not Really (97)

Nuclear Launch Detected.... No, Not Really

The next morning, I was up bright and early, having gotten a good sleep in Gilda's arms. What? She's fluffy. Anyways, I decided that I should go find Ivan. As the only human nearby, despite not being a brony, I needed to find out what kind of danger he posed. Given what I know of his so far, he's harmless, or, at the very least good at staying alive. He's a potential ally, and he seems to like me well enough, despite being socially awkward, much like a certain 'Griffin' I know. (In case you didn't catch that, I was referencing myself when I was a bit younger.) In any case, it's probably a good thing I've been nice to them both, well, except for one thing......

He was easy enough to find, after all, he was the only human on the island. he kind of stood out. He looked alright last night, but I had to make sure he was okay...... and also not mad at me.

"Hey! Ivan!" I called out as I spotted him, flying down to the human who had at some point gotten clothes, just a simple shirt and shorts. "I've been looking for you." Said human was a bit busy staring at his hands, clenching and unclenching them with a look of such glee that it was putting me off a little bit. He looked up at me with dazed eyes.

"Eh wha?" Okay, so, he's probably really happy about being a human again, but in this world, he may want to go around as a zebra to blend in. I could teach him some magic, I mean, it's pretty harmless, just letting him change form and protect himself.

"I've been looking for you. You busy? I was actually hoping to talk to you."

"Y-yeah, sure, what do you want? Uh..." He said as he nodded, walking over nervously.

"I kinda wanted to make sure you were okay. After last night, I wasn't really sure." I replied hesitantly. Kind of felt like a jackass, but I have my reasons.

He let a smile hit his face. "Yeah. Best birthday gift I could ask for..." That's a relief to me. I was pretty sure I knew how he felt, but not positive, and I'd hate to ruin my newest friendship. Wait... birthday?

"Happy birthday Ivan! I'm glad you're alright. I was fairly sure that you were just playing scared, since Catastrophe seems to be the type of person to get off on that, but I wasn't positive..."

He grinned awkwardly, showing off his scratched arms. 'Ouch.....'

"Yeah. You could say that. She's certainly the type to keep up appearances." What does she put him through? Geez..... If she's like THAT.... I mean, I'm always gentle and stuff when it comes to that. He doesn't seem too upset, although given the number of scars on his other body, he may very well be numb to physical pain.

"I figured the least I could do is let you change forms so she wouldn't ruin you. Better to switch it up instead of be pounded on nonstop since she was gonna do it anyways. Also, I really didn't want her to steal my amulet." I'm being honest here. She was gonna jump him anyways, best to give him a bit of a break, and I really, really like my amulet. His friend seemed the type to just steal it if I said no.

He nodded. "So uh... what all is there to do around here?" He looked back at his palms happily.

"Well, there is magic. You seem pretty interested in it. I could, I dunno, show you some stuff." I said nonchalantly, trying to ease the awkwardness of me basically telling him I want to be his tutor. I know being able to change has helped me out, much less all the other spells I've come up with, and he looks like he could use a bit of protection.

His eyes shot to look at the me, a strange intensity replacing the previous confused glaze over them. "Magic. Tell me more about magic."

"Come on. We'll need some open space to practice this.... I guess you could hop on my back and we can fly out to the plains." I know he liked flying. I'm trying to be nice. I don't mind and I'm sure he'd be ecstatic. Again, even with the whole 'spider in his head' that may or may not be real, I for some strange reason, get a good feeling about him. I don't know why, but something about him makes me just want to..... help him?

He nodded again, his blue eyes wide. "Wait, I get to ride you?" He winced as soon as he said it. Poor guy.....

"Awkward innuendo aside... damn it Catastrophe, yes. I'm ridden around most of the time anyways, I don't mind. It's comfortable having a weight back there."

He was silent for a moment. "How do I phrase how I should ride you as a human without it coming off as telling you to bend over?" I resisted the urge to face palm. He must be the most socially awkward person in the world. Every single thing he says can be taken the wrong way.

"You can always walk up, and put a hand right here, on my shoulder, and push down gently. Better than to risk verbalizing it." He rolled his eyes at something and did as was asked, putting his hand on my shoulder and pressing down slightly. I folded my legs underneath myself and let him climb on, which resulted in him wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face in my feathers. "You know, whenever we molt, we keep the feathers in storage. I could totally set you up with a pillow if you want. I know how friggin comfortable they are."

He let out a grunt. "Not as good as when they are still attached..." He laughed lightly. "So uh... adventure sharing story time?"

"Sure. Just make sure to keep your arms wrapped low, around my chest, instead of around my neck. Wouldn't want to strangle me mid flight. That would be bad. Here we go..." I took off at a leisurely pace, not wanting to go too fast and scare Ivan. "What do you want to know?"

"So... you and that other griffin. Together, right?"

"Yeah, although the relationship is a little.... loose, right now. She was in heat, and I told her it was alright if she 'used' someone who couldn't get her pregnant, but she felt like it was morally wrong unless I slept with someone else too. Enter Nadene. As it turns out, human sweat has an effect similar to catnip, on that type of cat anyways. Except instead of loopy, it makes them horny. Combined with the actual catnip she was smoking, well, we didn't end up doing it, but it got me high and I DID do it with Gilda.... I sure hope she isn't pregnant.... That would throw a huge wrench in our plans. But, pretty much, we're alright with having different partners, so long as the other approves of them."

He tensed, and I could feel his heart pounding in his chest on my back. "Alright with different partners?" There was an awkward pause. "... Save me, I just had an idea of what Cata would be like pregnant."........

........

........

List of things that scare Griffin, +2. That crazy bitch on pregnancy hormone, and that crazy bitch as a mother.

"You're alright. She isn't. Only thing that can get a griffin prego is another griffin, a pegasus, or a dragon, but dragons can go with anyone. I met a half dragon diamond dog a while ago." I reassured him. Best he know that he won't have to deal with that.

"Ehhm, anyways, we're here." I felt his weight shift slightly, him looking over the edge to see an open meadow, on the far side of the forest as the settlement. Small, about 200 meters across, both axis, green grass, likely in the past a fire happened here and destroyed the trees, which didn't grow back as any seedlings would be choked out by the faster growing grass.

He blinked and looked down at the ground. "I feel so weak..." He said as he hopped down, hitting the ground and tumbling to his side. He probably does. I know as a human I feel the same. Less affinity for magic, senses aren't as sharp, save the sense of touch which comes from having smooth skin, no natural weaponry, no camouflage, can't fly, and can't climb trees as well as our ancestors. Sure, it's fine for our own, civilized world, but in the wilds of Equestria, or whatever this planet is called, it's pretty much a death sentence.

"It's alright. It's actually a good thing when we came here we weren't human. We'd have died right away."

He looked curious. "How so?"

"Within a week of my arrival, I was eaten by a dragon. I survived because I can fly, and have sharp talons. I cut him up from the inside out." Truth be told, it might have been longer than a week, but I forget. It's been what, a year and a half?

"I got thrown into slavery. They removed my will to revolt through magic. They scalped my will to live." He said this matter-of-factly, with just a tiny hint of sorrow..... and now I feel bad. What the hell else has this poor guy been through?

"I thought as much. Judging by the scars you had, reverti," He turned back into a zebra, and then looked at his hooves with disappointment. Being human does have it's benefits, "have, you've seen your fair share of trouble. And I'm truly sorry. I wasn't aware diamond dogs had mind control techniques other than Stockholm syndrome."

He blinked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Why the hell are you sorry?"

"I... um, may have recently discovered a was to magically dominate someone, pretty much trapping their mind inside mine, and making their body my own......." I said this nervously, not sure how he'd take my dabbling in the dark arts. "We used it once to get inside a warren that was locked up tight.... never again...."

He turned and instantly his right hoof shot out to fumble for his pouch. I'm not sure what was in it, but I think is was meant as a threatening gesture, given that he spoke with more of a hiss that an actual word. "What." There was so much anger and spite in that word..... I let out a sigh and wiped my forehead with a talon.

"We found a dog that was guarding the gate.... he had given up his will to live, so we used him to get inside. The spell puts you in a mindscape with the spell target, where you try to make the other give up. The winner gets telepathic control of the body, but at the same time, also gets the very essence of the loser. You get their entire being. Their memories, their mind..... and you torture yourself knowing you've enslaved someone you now know so well that you could call them your friend." I said with a sad sigh. "One of my crew used it..... it tore her apart. After that, we all swore never to touch it again."

He looked away. "I know the feeling." His voice cracked up an octave half way through the word feeling... "You regret it, right? You regret how badly they broke?"

"Yeah..... I regret it, and honestly wish I had never thought of it, or the dozen other spells which we haven't used that could be considered dark magic.... Anyways, I won't be doing anything with dark magic. Just going to teach you the basics, and let you figure the rest out on your own. How much Latin do you know?"

He twitched. "How many other spells are we talking about? I know 20 spells. I think."

"Oh? You already know some? That's good. That will make things a lot easier. Well, it's not so much of knowing a lot of spells as much as it is knowing the application. Magic, at least the kind we use, is a mix of incantation and intent." He nodded, letting the knowledge soak in.

"In terms of numbers? I've figured out maybe fifty, and at least three uses for each. That, and, some of my crew can do things..... I don't even..... Surprise, a pegasus, has two mice that are living shadows she made, which live in her mane. How she gave the absence of light a physical form, I'll never know."

He nodded yet again. What is he, a bobble head? "So... how do I magic?" Explanation time.

"Well, everyone has magic. But only unicorns and dragons store it naturally. We use gems, which we charge up through a kind of meditation. Then, we speak a word, and think of what we want to happen. Many words have multiple meanings. For example, one of my personal favorites, Umbra, means shadow, muffle, and bind senses. With it, I can surround myself in shadows to blend in with the darkness, make myself completely silent, or silence, blind, mute, and numb someone else. Now that you're a zebra again, it should be easier for you to sense it."

He lit up into a smile. "Through gems, right? Any gem, with Latin?"

"Pretty much, although certain types of gems work with different spells better. Rubies work better with fire spells, aquamarines with water, etcetera."

He glowed slightly in a spell, a rather bright and vibrant diamond slipping from his pouch. It glowed with inner fire. He's got a sun diamond. A small one, but definitely the same as my ship's power source. "And Diamonds are all purpose."

"Who's the teacher? Volare. It means, to fly. Also, I see you already know a little of your own." And then Ivan was hovering in mid air. He flailed a bit before being let down softly. "There are also non elemental spells, like Volare, Forma Versus, Protego, and the like."

He nodded. "Let me try. Alea iacta est." I have no idea, at all, what that means. He blinked. "Aw... nothing happened..."

"Not all Latin words or phrases are spells. Or, some are, but you don't have the power needed to cast them. Most of the complicated stuff I do is actually a mix of several spells. You, um, may want to stand back for this one. It explodes."

He smiled as he back pedaled away, clearly looking forward to this. "Just tell me how far." He stared at the me.

"Keep going..... keep going.... keep going.... about another fifteen feet...... and don't be right in front of me....... a little more.... wouldn't want to blow you up too.... you know what, better go back to the tree line."

He groaned and retreated farther. "Ivan wants big boom....."

"Okay, that's good! First things first!" I had to practically yell. "Protego! It means 'Protect'! Because I don't want to splatter myself all over the meadow! Remember that one! It's really useful!"

He concentrated. "I cast GUARDIAN!" Was his response. A massive yellow shield bubble popped up around him. "PROTEGO GUARDIAN!"....... Okay, so, maybe he's better than I thought. That wasn't Latin, and I have no idea how he did it, but it seems to be the same as the 'barrier' class of protego spell. His was yellow, mine is a vibrant red, almost pinkish, but I wasn't using that. I was using the harden skin type, since my spell would be going off right next to me, and a barrier needs room, as they naturally take a dome shape, like a bubble. Adding the 'cushion' protection spell all around me, followed by 'shield' right in front, where the spell would be taking place, I began.

"Looks like you already got it covered! Now, watch carefully!" I crouched low to the ground, and put both my wings in front of me, arched to encompass a ball of air that was beginning to form. "Condense Vento! It means condense the wind!" Sure enough, the air began flowing into the area between my wings. "I'm using natural griffin air magic in conjunction with the spell to condense the air in a ball in front of me!" He nodded, looking closely. I could feel the pressure beginning to build, a slight push against my mind as the equilibrium of nature resisted my spell. "You know how they use highly pressurized water to cut steel?" I asked rhetorically.

"Diamonds, and other things too, right?" He answered. Okay, so he knows about industrial production.

"Yeah, diamonds too, well, air can do the same thing! It just needs to be at a higher pressure! They can't do it with machines, but that's why I have magic!" He nodded voicelessly, a look of sheer awe on his face.

"Now, the air in this ball, is getting REALLY HOT! It's also trying to expand! Here comes the next part! Clepto Ignis! Steal the flame! I remove the heat from the ball, making it easier to condense! But I'll need the heat later, so here's the next bit! Perfectum Circus! Perfect circle!" With that, a great deal of the push against my mind faded, allowing me to condense the air more easily. At the same time, as more and more air was sucked in, more and more heat was drawn out, stored in a ring of flame that appeared on the ground around me. The flames danced and grew as more and more energy was fed to them. I wasn't worried about the fire though. Because of what happened next, I couldn't catch the field ablaze. Still, more and more air kept being pulled into the ball.

"Right now, this ball of air is REALLY dense! There's actually a liquid core beginning to form! The ball itself is really far below zero! If I were to throw it, it would freeze anything it touches! But I'm not done! The ball, even though it's cold, is still pushing outwards! So, now I use Claustra! From claustraphobia, Claustra is 'contain' or 'trap'! It keeps it from blowing up on me!" I could feel my whole body tingle with magic, the strain on my magic trying to keep the ball held together, I could feel my energy being drawn out, and a pressure in my mind, like a piano wire wound too tight. The greater the pull on the mind, the tighter the tension. If you attempt a spell beyond your willpower, the spell will break. If the spell breaks, the wire snaps, and........ it hurts. A lot. And that's not to mention the effect of the spell itself. That's just the backlash on the mind of the spell being done improperly. I always try to finish it off before that happens. Sometimes I can't.

"And now, I draw all the heat from the fire back into the ball, making it heat up and expand rapidly! Reverti!" The ring of flame shot forward with a whoosh, being sucked into the ball, but the ball itself didn't change in size. I could barely contain it now, and I felt that I was approaching the breaking point.

"Are you about to do what I think you are about to do?.........Holy shit! You are totally about to do that!" Ivan cried. Unfortunately, no. I'm not about to do that, whatever it is. The reason for that?

"And now.... I don't know what to do next! I can't throw it or it'll blow immediately when I take the pressure off, and there's no way for me to release the pressure! I don't know the word for rupture!" I caught sight of Ivan out of the corner of my eye, a sudden realization dawning on him before he dove for cover.... right before I released the spell to prevent the mental backlash, pouring all the magic I could into protecting myself as it exploded.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!

A mushroom cloud of dust, dirt, and licks of flame filled the meadow, charring the center portion of it black. I coughed out some smoke and waved it away, looking at my blackened feathers. "Well! there's your problem!" I said in the classic Mythbuster manner. "It's safe now, mostly! Mind the smoke!"

"Impetus. Try Impetus.... No, wait, that would just make it explode sooner." Ivan pondered as he slowly walked towards where I stood as I cast a wind spell to clear the smoke away.

"Ack, cough, hack, ugh..... I can't seem to get the last bit. If I could poke a hole in it, it would shoot out the hole. The solid air core would go first, being the part with the highest density, and it would be followed by a stream of superheated air, which would constantly expand. Pretty much, it's a cannon. It fires a shell that can smash diamond, followed by a pillar of flame that torches everything..... that's the theory anyways."

He blinked, simply standing there in awe. "That is so completely and utterly awesome."

"Thanks. I don't think I'm strong enough yet to compress it as much as I need, as I can't get the core past the liquid state into the solid state yet, and I don't know the word for rupture yet, although I've got a plan for how to find that out."

He nodded. "Practice makes magic perfect, right? Say... have you tried some common sayings?"

"Yeah, I've tried everything I cant think of for rupture, burst, explode, make a hole, poke, cut, and what not. My normal 'cut' spell doesn't seem to do the trick, as the air ball doesn't get enough of a break in it. Thanks for the support by the way, it feels good to be appreciated. I'm thinking of making a word pump for it."

He nodded like he understood. Again with the nodding..... "Oh man, this is going to make spell programming so much easi- Word pump?"

"Basically, I'm going to run through every possibility, narrowed down. I'm almost positive it begins with an R, since English is based on Latin anyways. It's the most inefficient, but also guaranteed, method. I'm going to start with short words and move up, starting with R. So, let's see. 21 consonants, and five vowels, and another five with treating y as a vowel, that makes 110 possible syllables. I don't need to worry about spelling, since it's the sound, not the spelling, that we're dealing with. If a word has silent letters, it won't matter, since I'm still saying the same thing without them."

"Ummmmmm." He looked around blankly, clearly not getting it. Time for a practical explanation.

"I'm going to start with rab, then rac, rad, and go all the way to ruz. Then I'll move on to two syllable words. Rabab, rabac, rabad, rabaf, then rabeb, rabec, etc, all the way to ruzuz. 110 syllables, multiplied by another 110, that's......... hold on...." I did some quick mathematics in the blackened dirt with my claw. "12100 possible combinations of two syllable words, with the original 110 added to it, is 12210 word combinations. Hopefully, I'll hit it before I get there." I gave an exasperated sigh. "As I said before, its inefficient and time consuming, but I will eventually get there so long as I keep at it. If I go through all those and still don't find it, I'm going to give up on it till I can find more reference material, since doing three syllable words is going to be into the millions of combinations, and I have a too many other things to do to waste time on it."

He nodded. "But isn't there a chance that you'll supercharge it and make it blow up through your protections and kill you instantly, leaving your family and friends to wonder what the fuck happened?"

"I'm going to try it on balloons first, so it's not nearly so dangerous, and I always throw a whole slew of protection spells on myself before I experiment with anything. Anyways, we should probably get out of here...... people WILL have noticed the explosion and giant mushroom cloud, and what's going through Gilda's mind right now is probably something along the lines of 'Damn it Grif, if he's not dead, I'll kill him."

He grinned. "That was nice... this was nice. Thanks."

"Anyways, here's a copy of basic Latin words and meanings. Yes, I do keep a copy of them on me at all times for just such an occasion. How you apply them is up to you. Just... stay away from 'mort'-anything. I'd hate myself if you or someone else wound up dead using that spell, and make sure before you do any testing, you cast as many protections on yourself as possible. Would have hated to have been in THAT....." I motioned towards the crater we were now fleeing from. "....without any shielding on. The gem array in my wing is tapped out now, so no more magic for me till it recharges...."

I let out another sigh and hung my head in depression as we walked back to town. Ivan looked at me strangely, cocking his head to the side and putting a hoof to his chin.

"What's wrong?"

"I just.... had a lot taken from me recently. My wing, for one. And, my sword. It was a... special sword. Something supposedly unbreakable, which could store an absurd amount of magic, got snapped in half like a twig. I used it every day, and I felt naked without it, so I wore it everywhere. Now that it's broken, I'm not sure what to do. I need to make some money in order to fix it, but there's so many other expenses, like buying the supplies for the next settlement. This is the first time that money has actually been an issue. Supplies, transportation for the supplies, construction workers, architects, city planners, and a thousand pieces of paper that say where everything, and everyone, is, so we can put families together. Equestria fronted the cost for the first, but their charity won't last forever, and Signal isn't ready to start exporting goods yet, nor do I have the trade union with the dogs and zebras set up yet, although I got Bluebeak in touch with Blueblood to work on setting up an international trade system. They needed a new one anyway, ever since the East Equestria Trade Company got shut down by the government for corruption." When we were in Ponyville, Gilda had visited Twilight at the library and spent a couple hours there. I'm not sure all of what went on, but apparently Twilight had already been keeping tabs on things, so she had copies of news articles detailing interesting events from the 'Canterlot Times', and Gilda was able to get a copy for me to look through during our travel time.

"I guess there's just so much to do, and I'm a bit tired is all. I'm putting tasks I'm no good at or don't need to handle personally on more qualified people, but there's still just so much for me to do."