The Twixie Show

by Lunar Metal

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Princess Luna, Trixie
Length: 8469

Watch as Princess Twilight Sparkle and wife Trixie Lulamoon-Sparkle, deal with everyday life.

In which Equestria's newest Princess comes back from a year of royal training, with a wife in tow, which happens to be one Trixie Lulamoon

Watch as Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon-Sparkle, deal with everyday life.

Published 2013-09-08 05:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-26 22:05:47 UTC

Knowing

Knowing

It was an average day at the home of the Lulamoon-Sparkle household. The two mares were sitting at their kitchen table, Trixie eating a bowl of cereal while Twilight sat drinking a cup of coffee. With Spike out of the house, having been roped into helping Pinkie Pie with something or other, Twilight decided to have a talk with her significant other that she had put off for too long.

"Trixie. We dated for a year and we've been married for a month and in that time you haven't taken the slightest bit of interest in me." The purple alicorn all but blurted out.

"What?! Trixie is shocked that you would even suggest such a thing! Trixie married you didn't she? Doesn't Trixie go out of her way to make you happy Princess" The blue unicorn shot back, using her wife's title in a mocking manner as, highly offended by the accusation.

"I know you do and I love you for it. I'm just concerned with how little you know about me." Twilight said, glaring slightly at the mocking tone of her wife.

"Oh please! Trixie knows everything about you! Hit Trixie with some questions! Go ahead!"

"Alright, what's my favorite color?" Twilight asked, hoping to finally open a line of communication that had been sorely lacking in her relationship.

"Pass." Trixie immediately said. Twilight was a little stunned, but cleared her throat and dismissed it for the moment.

"Okay then. What's my favorite book?" The Princess of Magic asked, again hoping for a correct answer.

"Pass. Give Trixie something easy!" The blue unicorn demanded, banging her hoof on the table.

"Fine. When is my birthday?" Twilight sighed, the conversation going nowhere near like she had hoped. Trixie scratched her head in thought for a few moments, causing Twilight to grow ever more frustrated.

"Janua..."

"No.

"Feb..."

"No."

"Mar..."

"No."

" April?"

"Yes. Now what day?" Twilight asked, glaring a bit at her wife.

'Honestly how could she forget?! She was at the last one and it was one of Pinkie's wildest!' Twilight ranted in her mind.

"April 1st, April 2nd, April 3rd, April 4th! 5th! 6th! 7th! 8th! 9th! 10th...!

"April 17th." Twilight all but growled out.

"April 17th!"  Trixie exclaimed, accidentally knocking off her bowl of cereal in her excitement.

"Happy extremely belated birthday. Or, happy extremely early birthday." Trixie said nonchalantly as she used her magic to pick up the bowl, milk, and cereal off the floor and continued to eat it.

"You don't know anything about me! In fact I wouldn't be surprised that if I looked "self-absorbed" up in the dictionary right this second, I'd find a picture of you!" Twilight shouted, throwing her hooves up in defeat.

"Trixie's picture is in the dictionary? Is it a good one? What is Trixie wearing?"

"This is hopeless." Twilight said as she sullenly walked up to their bedroom.

"Don't get mad at Trixie, those questions were impossible! I'll bet you don't know when my birthday is." Trixue said as she followed her wife up the stares.

"Your birthday is July 9th, your favorite color is aquamarine, you're favorite book is 'Harry Piner and the Crypt of Mysteries', and you go to bed at 8:30 on New Years because and I quote 'New Year's is a holiday invented by the media." Twilight listed off in a rather huffy tone.

"It is!" Trixie responded, totally missing everything Twilight had said.

"You know what Trixie? This marriage isn't going to work." The alicorn said as she slammed the bedroom door in her soon to be ex-wife's face.

"But Trixie needs you! I'll do anything!" The unicorn sobbed outside the door. Twilight opened the door causing Trixie, who had her body pressed against it, to tumble onto her. Twilight levitated her off and looked down at her.

"Anything huh? Even it means focusing on somepony other than yourself for more than two minutes?" The Princess of Magic queried, eyebrow raised.

"That sounds awful....." Trixie said, looking to see Twilight's harsh glare aimed directly at her.

"And Trixie said that out loud...... didn't she?"

Twilight awoke the next morning in an empty bed. She had locked herself in the bedroom the day before and refused to let Trixie in. What irked Twilight so much was that she knew Trixie loved her, but was it so hard for her to at least pretend to be interested in what she had to say?

Twilight sighed as she opened the bedroom door and tripped over something. She looked to see what it was and saw a small package. She saw a note on it and all it said was

"For my Princess"

Twilight opened it and saw a book. Not just any book however. A first edition of her favorite book, "The Dresdune Chronicles"

"Trixie hopes you like it. That is the right one?" Twilight heard from behind her. She looked to see Trixie standing there.

"How did you....." Twilight began, only to be cut off by a pair of blue lips connecting with hers.

"Asked Princess Celestia and had to go to 20 different book stores. Just found it an hour ago and rushed back. Forgive me?" Trixie asked, really hoping the answer would be yes.

"Trixie, you are a self-absorbed, egotistical, and sometimes downright insufferable pony. But for whatever reason, I wouldn't have it any other way." The purple alicorn said as she wrapped her wings around her wife.

"Jeez, get a room." Spike said as he walked past.

"Can do." Trixie said as she rushed Twilight into their bedroom and slammed the door.

Train Ride of the Doomed(According to Trixie that is)

"Come on Trixie, the train hasn't even moved yet." Twilight sighed, rubbing her head with her hoof as she attempted to quell the impending headache. Trixie had been a bundle of tightly wound nerves ever since Twilight said they were going to Canterlot to spend a weekend getaway with Shining Armor and Cadence. It was an anniversary present to the ruler of the Crystal Empire from none other than Luna herself, who would be taking over Cadence's duties for the weekend. The minute Twilight said "train ride" Trixie had been unnaturally jumpy. She had even stopped referring to herself in the third person, which was a major sign to Twilight something was up.

"But what if some dumb kid puts a bit on the tracks to flatten it for luck? What if that bit causes the train to fly off the tracks, turning into a flaming ball of doom before crashing from 200 feet up onto the rocky terrain below?!" Trixie ranted, panic in her eyes.

"First of all, that's an urban myth. There's no way a single tiny bit could cause a train to fly off the tracks." The princess said, causing her wife to calm a little.

"Secondly, what's gotten you so worked up? I've never seen you this nervous!" Twilight said as she looked the blue unicorn dead in the eye.

"I'm just really afraid of trains. Funny right? A grown mare afraid of a train." Trixie admitted, looking rather ashamed.

"Trixie, it's okay to be afraid. I know a lot of ponies that are. Riding on something this big going that fast can make a lot of ponies nervous. I remember reading somewhere that the fear comes from feeling a lack of control which was found out by conducting a survey with about 10........" Twilight started rambling as Trixie suddenly found herself nodding off. If there was one thing that could put her out, it was Twilight reciting scientific findings. Soon the unicorn could no longer keep her eyes open as she fell asleep.

Behold the wizard.

Beware her  powers.

UNSPEAKABLE POWERS!

Under the gaze of the necromancer a silver staircase began to rise. Ponies stood on it and marveled at the power shooting from her eyes. And by the dim light of the dream realm's black sun, the Wizard climbed the frozen waterfall of Voldrini in search of Twilight Sparkle, the guardian of infinite power. When suddenly a terrible Shantak appeared and attacked with ice, but the Wizard was undeterred. The Shantak roared and unleashed the most sinister wind, but the Wizard is undeterred. The Shantak summoned the Stones of Prophynia, but the Wizard was undeterred. Calling upon the powers of the ancients, the Wizard conjured a sacred fire and cast her foe into the molten maw of an insatiable Lava Demon.

"Ahh, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie thinks you're going to enjoy this." The Wizard said as she flew to plant a kiss on the lips of the lavender alicorn. The Wizard then stood on the precipice of ultimate power. The gates opened to reveal...

"Trixie are you even listening to me?" Twilight asked as she poked her wife with her hoof a few times. The unicorn remained asleep, mumbling something about ultimate power.

"Trixie?" Twilight tried again, only to get a snort in response.

"Trixie?!" The alicorn again tried to awaken her mate, but received a sleepy hoof waving her off.

"Don't worry Princess............ The great and powerful Wizard Trixie will save you from that 8th level Blood Demon!" Trixie sleepily exclaimed, her horn sparking a little magic and waving her front hooves around.

"TRIXIE!" Twilight shouted, drawing the attention of the rest of the passengers.

"Who?! What?! When?! Where?!" Trixie shouted, looking around in surprise. Looking around she saw her wife looking rather flustered at her.

"How long was Trixie asleep?" The blue unicorn asked as she rubbed the back of her head. Suddenly the train jumped slightly as they stopped at the Canterlot Train Station.

"Huh, how about that. You slept the entire way here. Normally I'd be a little peeved that you'd fall asleep while I'm talking to you, but at least you didn't freak out all during the trip." Twilight said as she got up and headed out of the train, Trixie following her.

"Also Trixie I think you may need to cut back on those Crypts and Creepers games with Spike and Pinkie." Twilight said as they retrieved their luggage.

"Trixie is a level 87 High Priestess! Why in the world would she cut back?! Trixie will not stop until she is a level 100 High Priestess!" The unicorn said indignantly.

"And some ponies call me a nerd." Twilight said as she rolled her eyes.

Cheaters Always Win

Princess Twilight Sparkle walked through the duel suite, both rooms connected, she and Trixie were sharing with Shining Armor and Cadence for the weekend. She had just woken up from an afternoon nap because she was hearing strange noises from Shining and Cadence's room. She got to the door and was right about to knock when she heard another voice in the room.

"Faster Shining!" Trixie's voice

"What the hay?" Twilight said, silently hoping she wasn't heard.

"I'm trying!" Shining Armor yelled back, causing Twilight's face to turn bright red.

'WHAT THE ACTUAL HAY?!' She thought as she continued to listen to the two inside.

"Hurry almost there!" Said Trixie some other noises could be heard from behind the door.

"I know!" Shining replied, causing Twilight to leaning her head to the side of the door as she continued to listen intently.

"HIT IT RIGHT THERE!" Trixie exclaimed loudly.

"I KNOW HOW TO DO IT TRIXIE!" Shining yelled back frantically.

"Give that thing to Trixie now!" Twilight heard her wife shout. The Princess of Magic couldn't stand it anymore. The door swung open as Twilight reviled herself to the two ponies, who were caught in their act as she pointed at them.

"GOT YA! I can't believe you two would …?"  Twilight began to rant only to stop as she saw both ponies running around the room, chasing a rather large horsefly. Both Shining Armor and Trixie had fly swatters in their magical grasp.

"There it goes!" Trixie yelled as they chased the insect into the bathroom.

"Hold it steady. Steady.......... GOT IT!" Shining Armor yelled in triumph as a loud smack was heard.

"Man, thought we'd never get that thing." Shining said as he trotted out of the bathroom.

"Indeed, to think a puny insect could be a challenge for the Great and Powerful Trixie. It is to laugh!" Trixie said haughtily as she laid the flyswatter down.

Twilight was dumbstruck, and in her moment of shock she looked down at the carpet like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen.

"Oh Twily, didn't hear you come in. You wanted something?" The white unicorn asked, only to get a stammering response.

"O-oh I was… um… Well…" She didn't know what to think anymore. They were just chasing a fly! The purple alicorn felt like the biggest pervert who ever walked the face of the earth for assuming such terribly perverted things about her wife and brother, not to mention the guilt she felt about even entertaining the idea of them cheating on her or Cadence.

"What's wrong?" Shining Armor asked curiously as he watched his sister continue to babble incoherent words that seemed to be the beginning of sentences that she couldn't finish.

"N-NOTHING! W-what made you say that?!" Twilight said quickly, making Shining a bit more concerned about her mental welfare.

"Okay........ Uh, Cadence will probably be back from the spa in a few minutes, so how about we all go to that restaurant the hotel has?" Shining said as he eyed his sister carefully.

"That sounds great. Trixie worked up an appetite chasing that blasted fly around." The blue unicorn said as she rubbed her growling stomach.

"That's sounds good! Lemme go freshen up!" Twilight said, rather loudly, as she turned around and trotted out of the room hastily in embarrassment.

"I can't believe I thought that! Trixie and Shining would never do that to me and Cadence! I don't know what got into me. I mean, I should know better than anypony that Trixie wouldn't go for Shining." Twilight ranted to herself, mentally slapping her perverted mind, she marched out of the suit. Out in the hall she saw Cadence walking up. She looked at her sister-in-law and felt a suspicion creeping up, but given how well her last suspicion turned out she immediately ignored it.

"Hi Twilight, how's your day been?" The pink alicorn asked as she walked up.

"Oh fine! Nothing unusual at all! Ever!" Twilight blurted out.

"Uh...... Okay?" The Princess of Love said as she cocked her head to one side in confusion.

"Shining wants to go to that restaurant downstairs for dinner!" Twilight all but shouted.

"Okay? Twilight are you alright?"  Cadence asked, only for Trixie to open the door.

"Twilight, the last time Trixie checked you can't freshen up in a hallway."

"Right! So I'm just going to go to the bathroom!" The purple alicorn said as she ran off to the bathroom at full speed and slammed the door.

"Why do I get the feeling Twilight's got some kind of secret?" Cadence said as she looked over at Trixie.

"Meh. Trixie stopped trying to figure Twilight out long ago. Her and her partying pink friend."

Is it Safe?

It was a peaceful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. And two armies of ants were making peace.

"From this day forth, let it be known that Black Ants and Red Ants shall now live in harmony." Said the Black Ant leader.

"Yes, no longer shall we waste our lives in meaningless warfare." Said the Red Ant leader. Before the two leaders could shake hands, a giant beam of light shot down on them, knocking them away.

"This is your treachery! TO WAR!" Shouted the Black leader.

"I'll drink from your exoskeleton!" Roared the Red leader. Meanwhile, a blue unicorn was holding a magnifying glass in front of the sun and burning the poor ants.

"It's working! Soon, the Great and Powerful Trixie shall cast a spell that will cause the reflection of these ants to burn a whole through the sun!" Declared the blue unicorn. Just then Spike ran up to his adoptive sister-in-law.

"Trixie!" Spike yelled

"Hold up, Spike." Said Trixie, putting her hoof against the young dragon's mouth.

"The slightest misstep could lead to dire consequences!" Trixie said, as if she was talking about explosives. However, while she was talking, she unknowingly held the magnifying glass above her hoof, causing smoke to appear from it.

"But Scootaloo is throwing water balloons at me!" Spike said, crossing his arms.

"Oh, she probably has a crush on you or something." Trixie replied, trying to get back to the task at hand.

"Shut up! She does not!" Spike cried out in annoyance.

"Look, Trixie is in the middle of something very..." The unicorn started, before noticing his hoof was on fire.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Trixie cried as she danced around in pain. Two seconds later, a water balloon hit the flaming showmare, extinguishing the fire. The thrower was none other than Scootaloo. Trixie quickly rushed up to the orange filly.

"Scootaloo! You saved Trixie's life!" The unicorn said gratefully. The younger mare threw another water balloon at the showmare, hitting her right in the face.

"You know that last balloon could be taken as an insult." Trixie deadpanned. The unicorn was then struck yet again in the face by a water balloon.

"Okay, now Trixie's getting angry!" The blue unicorn growled out. Soon, both Trixie and Spike were pelted with a series of water balloons, as Scootaloo ran off.

"THIS MEANS WAR!" Trixie proclaimed.

Twilight sat in the library, having tea with Princess Luna. The two were discussing matters pertaining to their significant others.

"I swear once something sets Trixie off it's like pulling teeth to get her to let it go." Twilight sighed as he took a sip from her cup. Luna chuckled as she had a similar problem.

"I know what you mean. Chyrsalis does tend to let her temper get the better of her as well." The Princess of the Night said as she looked out the window. The princess saw none other than Trixie using a hose to fill up balloons with water, with Spike placing them in a wagon.

"Twilight, it seems your wife has found something to entertain her." Luna said as Twilight got a panicked look on her face. She quickly looked out the window. Seeing what Trixie was doing she gave a sigh of relief.

"Water balloons? Well at least it's not dynamite again." Twilight said as she took a sip of tea.

"Dynamite?" Luna asked as she cocked her head to one side.

"You don't wanna know."

Half an hour later, Scootaloo was busy filling up balloons with water, while Trixie and Spike were in the bushes observing her.

"Uh, Trixie?, I think you're taking this a little too seriously." The young dragon told the older pony.

"Quiet!" Trixie shushed, as she looked through a pair of binoculars.

"Trixie has triangulated her position. You make a run from the rear, and we'll ambush her!" The unicorn ranted in a whisper. Spike sighed, wondering what Twilight saw in her.

"Okay. But do you really need those night-vision goggles?" Spike asked as he saw Trixie put on a pair of high-tech night vision goggles.

"Of course Trixie does! They work especially well in the daytime!" With that, she put the goggles over her eyes and turned them on.

"AAAAAAAH! TOO MUCH LIGHT, TRIXIE'S BLIND!" Trixie screamed in agony as she yanked the goggles off her face. Scootaloo, having overheard this, whistled. Soon, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle popped out of a nearby bush with water balloons in hoof.

"Retreat!" Yelled Trixie, having regained her eyesight, as she and Spike ran for their lives. However, they were soon pelted with balloons.

"It's no use. We're outnumbered" Spike realized as he shook himself dry.

"That's true. We're going to need some extra help!" Trixie said, a crazed look in her eye.

"Well that was entertaining." Luna said as she and Twilight had finished their tea and where now watching Trixie and Spike from the balcony of the library.

"Oh it's not over yet. Knowing Trixie it's just the beginning." Twilight said as she gave a sly smirk, this being the first time she was actually enjoying her wife's antics. Luna returned the smirk and nodded as they looked down to see that Trixie had gathered a couple of ponies outside the library. Trixie was wearing crudely made armor as she paced back and forth in front of the assembled group, which was composed of Spike, Ditzy "Derpy" Doo, and Big Macintosh.

"I am sure you are wondering why Trixie called you all here." Trixie began, using a no-nonsense tone.

"Not really" Interrupted Derpy. The blue unicorn glared at her and marched up to the walleyed mailmare.

"Trixie did not give you permission to speak!" Yelled Trixie in the best general voice she could do.

"Yes sir ma'am sir!" Derpy said as she saluted. Trixie shook her head up and down as she continued continued.

"I am the Great and Powerful General Trixie!" The unicorn said loudly.

"General of what?" Spike asked as Trixie paced in front of the three.

"Silence!" Trixie snapped as Spike just rolled his eyes, regretting having asked Trixie for help in this matter.

"Trixie has tried to assemble the best fighting force Ponyville has ever seen! Unfortunately, all I could find was you three." Trixie continued, earning her a glare from the two ponies and one dragon.

"You will hurt! You will cry for your mommies!" Trixie barked out as she resumed pacing in front of the group.

"My Mom's Daring Do!" Derpy interrupted.

"Oh, great, you made me lose my place!" Said Trixie as she tried to remember where she was going with her nonsensical speech, but giving up.

Soon, the four were hard at work filling water balloons. Trixie was in charge of filling the balloons, Spike was in charge of tying them, and Big Mac was in charge of labeling them with a stamp reading H2O. Derpy tossed another balloon to Big Mac, who threw it onto a gigantic pile. The ponies and dragon stood back and admired their work. Soon, Scootaloo reared her devious little head from behind the pile. She popped one balloon, which caused the entire tower to collapse.

"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Trixie yelled as everyone ran in terror.

Trixie had painted a target on a fence.

"Now, to survive a water balloon fight, you must know how to hit a target." The pseudo-general began.

"When Trixie says 'now', you will throw your balloons at the bulls-eye. Now…" Before she could finish, the three "soldiers" before her pelted with balloons.

"No, not now!" She explained before getting pelted again.

"Not the now that…" Again, she was pelted.

"Now, just hold on!" Trixie now looked like she had taken a mile long swim.

"This is gonna take a while." The unicorn said as she grabbed a towel and dried herself off.

Later, four cacti were walking through the streets of Ponyville, stopping and standing still when somepony came close. Trixie, Spike, Derpy, and Big Macintosh then popped their heads out of holes in the front of the cacti.

"Trixie, these disguises will never work! Cacti aren't even native to this part of the country!" Derpy objected.

"Shut up! They'll hear you!" Trixie yelled as she looked around, paranoid.

"The enemy is everywhere, and nowhere." The crazed mare said cryptically, her eyes darting back and forth.

"So where are they?" Spike asked.

"I don't know, they're somewhere." The blue leader said, earning groans of grief from her "army." Just then, the Cutie Mark Crusaders popped out of the bushes.

"We're surrounded!" Trixie cried as the fillies circled her team.

"Spike, speed around their left flank! Mac, you take the right flank! Derpy, you take the rear! Trixie will scream and run away like a little filly!" Trixie then ran screaming. The unicorn then dug a hole and hid in it.

"Okay! This is going well! Trixie'll be in here!" The showmare had no sooner said than she was pelted with balloons, filling the hole with water.

"Help! Trixie's drowning!" She yelled as she quickly sank, before dragging herself back up to see Spike and Big Mac.

"We stood our ground as long as we could, but I think they captured Derpy." The dripping wet dragon panted.

"Those fiends! They'll probably torture her to make her talk! Fortunately, she's well trained." Trixie said, having the utmost confidence in the cross-eyed pegasus

.

Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle were catering to Derpy's every whim, bringing her cookies, juice, and even rubbing her hooves, while the grey mare went on and on about things that Trixie had specifically told her not to tell them.

"And we have 39 balloons hidden in the library, and we're going to attack at O'900, and our password is 'Princess Trixie'!" Derpy said.

Meanwhile, Big Macintosh and Spike were manning a very long hose. Soon, a wave of water hit the Crusaders tree-house, blasting Derpy out. Spike and Big Mac caught her, well more like broke her fall. Derpy, upon regaining her train of thought, quickly fibbed,

"I didn't talk. They tortured me, but I said 'No way'!" Soon, Trixie grabbed the trio from behind an apple tree and hid them there.

"Good, you're alive!" Trixie said, her mane spiky and disheveled.

"Now Trixie won't lie to you. We may have to run away to the jungle and spend the rest of our lives eating bugs and washing with mud, so…" The crazed mare began, her right eye twitching like crazy, but was cut off by Spike.

"Look, Trixie. I think Scootaloo was only pelting me with balloons because she likes me. And I think I kind of like her, too. So, bye!" With that, he walked away. Trixie then turned to Derpy.

"I have to go pick up Dinky from her scout meeting, but I had fun. See ya!" Derpy said as she rushed away. Big Mac was the only one left at Trixie's side. He got up and brushed the dirt off his body.

"Ya'll ain't too bright." The large stallion said, as he walked away. Soon, Trixie was alone.

"Well, fine! Who needs you?! Trixie can win this war herself!" The blue unicorn yelled to her former comrades. Suddenly she was then pelted by a plethora of balloons.

"Medic!" Trixie cried as she fell over, a dripping mess. At this point Twilight and Luna flew down, having been watching the entire fiasco from the clouds above.

"You want some hot chocolate Trixie?" Twilight asked gently, rubbing her wife's soaking wet head with her hoof.

"With marshmallows?" Trixie asked as she looked up pitifully at Twilight.

"Sure thing. But first." Twilight said as she cast a spell that made Trixie spin around extremely fast, drying her off. Trixie passed out as Twilight picked her up and laid her across her back as she and Luna took to the air.

"I should be going Twilight. Next time I'll bring Chrysalis. Something tells me her and Trixie together in the same room will be quite a sight." Luna said as she flew off towards Canterlot.

Bump in the Night

"Oh please Trixie, don't be ridiculous." Twilight said as she half glared at Trixie who was setting up the old film projector Twilight had.

"Ridiculous? Trixie is not being anything of the sort, she just said that if you don't want to watch this new film with Trixie then she will understand." The unicorn said as she placed the film reel in place on the projector.

"I am not afraid to watch some dumb horror movie!" Twilight rolled her eyes dramatically, too dramatically for Trixie's taste. After all, there was room for but one over dramatic pony in the household and Trixie held claim to that title.

'Who does she think I am? A little filly?' Twilight thought as Trixie then pulled up a pillow and laid on the floor, a box of popcorn at the ready as she magically shut off the lights.

"So, you won't be scared? At all? " The showmare asked as she arched her eyebrow upward, quite amused with Twilight's annoyed responses.

"Trixie if I can handle Nightmare Moon, Discord running amok, a Changeling invasion, and the worst tyrant known to ponykind, I can handle a little horror film." Twilight said as she laid down next to her wife, an annoyed expression adorning her face.

Trixie knew, from past horror film experiences, Twilight was such a child. She wouldn't sleep at all, afraid of a murderer coming to get her. She would wake Trixie up over the slightest little creak or the leaves rustling from the wind outside. If it wasn't for the fact Trixie missed this film's initial screening at the theaters she wouldn't even be watching it with Twilight at home, but as a horror movie fan Trixie needed to see this film. It's been said to be the scariest horror film ever made after all. However the minute she told Twilight what she was doing and that she didn't have to watch it with her, Twilight got defensive.

'Just a good thing Spike's gone to Canterlot. He's even worse than Twilight when it comes to horror.' Trixie thought as the movie began to play, the title of the movie coming up "Dead by Dawn." After the first 20 minutes was over Twilight chuckled.

"Trixie, this wouldn't even scare Fluttershy." The princess scoffed, gesturing towards the film screen. So far all that had happened was some college kids were going camping in a small cabin in the woods and they found a weird looking book. Nothing scary to be found as far as Twilight was concerned. Trixie ignored the snide comment and focused on watching the movie.

No more than 5 minutes later and Twilight was already edged a little closer to Trixie. One of the characters had found notes about the odd looking book left by some professor and had become quite curious. The character had managed to decode three words from the ancient book and said them aloud.

"Klaatu. Barada. Nikto."

Suddenly one of the female characters screamed loudly, wind blowing through the cabin as the book slammed shut.

"You're all going to die tonight" The possessed character said as Twilight covered her eyes with her hooves. She didn't remove them for most of the movie, just the sounds of the horrific film scaring her enough. When she heard a lapse in the horror she looked up and saw the only one remaining of the main characters, a griffon with a rather large beak wearing a blue shirt holding his right talon which seemed to be fighting back against him.

"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!" The griffon yelled as he raised an axe and brought it down onto his forelimb,Twilight recovering her eyes just as it came down. Twilight didn't dare look again until she heard something that begged her to look.

"HUZZAH! Hail the chosen one! He who fell from the sky to release us from the terror of the Deadites!" Twilight heard as she looked to see an old timey knight praising the griffon from before who now had an axe head duct taped to where his talon once was and a small cannon strapped to his back.

"HAIL!"

"No."

"HAIL!"

"No!"

"HAIL!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

And with that the end credits began to play. Trixie looked over at Twilight who was shaking like a leaf.

"Book......... Evil......... Dead........" Twilight muttered out, her eyes filled with terror. Trixie carefully wrapped her foreleg around Twilight's neck, which the alicorn jumped at, and pulled her close to kiss her head. She then wordlessly lead her up to their bedroom.

The two made their way to the bed and slowly laid down. Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and laid on her side, trying to clear her mind as thoughts of evil books and haunted houses rushed through her mind.

Trixie had already dozed off into a deep sleep when Twilight heard a creaking sound out in the hall. She sat up abruptly and eyed the door while shaking the blue unicorn's shoulder vigorously.

"Trixie! Wake up!" The Princess snapped, receiving a muffled groan from her wife.

"What Twilight?" The showmare sighed into her pillow.

"I heard a creaking."

"Twilight, go to sleep please."

"Trixie I think the library is haunted."

"No it's not Twilight. Go to sleep."

There was a creak again from the hallway, twice now.

"Trixie!"

"Twilight, shut up please. It's probably just Spike getting home early."

"Trixie don't tell me to shut up… It's a Deadite."

"Those aren't real Twilight. Now sleep."

"But Trix..."

"Sleep!" The unicorn blurted out as she shot up from her pillow and looked her wife dead in the eye, clearly losing patience with her. She laid her head back down and slowly began to doze off again. Twilight fell back onto the bed and sighed.

"If I get possessed Trixie..." Twilight mumbled while shutting her eyes and turning onto her side.

"I'm taking you with me."

An Awkward Dinner

"TRIXIE WAKE UP! I HAVE GOOD NEWS!" Twilight yelled as she ran into her bedroom, using her magic to yank the bed sheets off Trixie.

"It's too early for good news." Came Trixie's muffled reply, having buried her head under both pillows.

"Trixie, it's noon." Twilight said with a hint of annoyance as she levitated the pillows off Trixie's head.

"Your point being?" Trixie said her eyes leveled at her wife, filled with both tiredness and annoyance.

"I told you to stop taking gigs outside Ponyville. You walk all the way to Celestia knows where two days ahead of time and by the time you get back you're exhausted beyond belief because you refuse to take a train unless I come with you!" Twilight said, a little harsher than she meant to.

"So you expect Trixie to just give up her career?!" Trixie snapped back, her usually thin patience already worn by a long trip and little sleep.

"I'm just saying you don't need to go do big shows when you don't have to! I mean I am a princess so that means I get more than enough...."  Twilight started, but was cut off by Trixie, who by this time had leapt off the bed and now stood barely inches way from the purple alicorn.

"Money?! You think that's the only reason Trixie works herself to the bone?! Trixie does it to feel useful!" The blue unicorn snapped as she marched back into bed, yanking the covers over herself in a huff.

"Fine! You wanna play it that way, then be my guest! If you need me I'll be over at Luna's which is where, by the way, we were invited to dinner tonight!" Twilight shouted at the lump under the blanket as she teleported out of the room.

"And don't even get me started on the fact that she begs me to turn her into an alicorn ever other day and sulks like a baby when I tell her I can't!" Twilight ranted, sitting at a dinner table with Luna and Chrysalis, as both looked at the young alicorn with expressions of both shock and uncomfortableness.

"Yes that does sound a tad extreme, but Chrysalis and I had some news that...." Luna started, only to be cut off by an irate Twilight.

"Oh you think that's extreme?! Let me tell you about....." The lavender alicorn began again, only to be cut off when the front door to Luna and Chrysalis' private estate slammed open. They heard slow hoof steps, until in the doorway to the dinning room stood a rather mangled looking Trixie.

"You could have MENTIONED the fact this place had a security fence!" Trixie practically shouted.

"It's your own fault Trixie. If you hadn't overreacted this morning..." Twilight began, but was stopped by Trixie.

"Oh! Trixie was the one who overreacted?! Trixie wasn't the one who ran off the second things didn't go how she liked!"

"This is just like you! Blame everypony else, but yourself! All because I dared to make the suggestion of not doing out of town shows!"

"TRIXIE DOES IT FOR THE MONEY!"  Trixie shouted back, her voice fully raised.

"WHY?! WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH!"

"TRIXIE KNOWS THAT! SHE JUST WANTED TO HAVE HER OWN SO SHE COULD BUY YOU THIS STUPID ANNIVERSARY PRESENT!" Trixie yelled one final time as she used her magic to summon a small box and throw it at Twilight's hooves. Trixie then ran out leaving a stunned Twilight. She looked at the box and opened it, revealing a necklace with a small pendant. It was a star and a wand.

"Um, please excuse me." Twilight said as she teleported back home to wait for Trixie, leaving both Chrysalis and Luna stunned.

"I guess we can tell them about the wedding tomorrow." Chrysalis said as she continued eating.

"I suppose so. It's your fault we have to get married this soon anyway." Luna said as she used her hoof to rub her stomach.

"Hey I told you from the beginning Changelings don't have a gender as you ponies would understand it."

Never Leave Trixie Alone

"Alright Trixie, Spike and I will be back from Sweet Apple Acres in a bit okay?" Twilight said as she left Trixie alone at the kitchen table, looking blankly at that day's paper.

"Fine, see you then." Trixie said, waving her hoof dismissively. The two had made up after the whole "money" argument, but things were still a touch quiet around the house. Twilight just sighed and left with Spike.

Trixie sat, staring at the weather section of the paper.

"Showers in Spomane. Spooo-Maaaaiiiiiiiiiinn." Trixie said, clearly bored. She read the next forecasting and snickered a bit.

"It's hot in Hoofpeka." Trixie chuckled more at saying the town's name aloud.

"It's hoooooooot in Hoooooooooooooof-peeeee-kaaaaaaahhhh. It's hot. Hot hot. Hot hot hot. Haawwwwt. Hot! Hot! Hot-it hot hot hot! It's hot in Hoofpeka! Hoof-peaker. I'm a hoof-pick. I'm a hot hoof-picker. Pick my hoof, it's hot! Pick my hot hoof, pick it! Hoofpeka's hot, my hoof is hot, pick it. It's hot in Hoofpeka." Trixe said, playing around with the odd name while tossing and apple up and down.

"It's hot! It's hot! It's hoooot! It's hot in, it's hot in, it's hot in Hoofpeka!" Trixie finished as she tossed the apple far into the air, it smashing against the ceiling and getting stuck. Trixie eyed the fruit before shrugging.

"Hoofpeka." The blue unicorn said as she walked over to the refrigerator. She looked around and saw a red bottle with no label. As the bottle was vaguely shaped like a soda bottle she opened it and swallowed a mouthful of its contents. Unfortunately that unlabeled bottle was hot sauce.

"HOT! HOT! HOT!" Trixie yelled as ran to the sink, letting the cool water fill her mouth. She guzzled it down and walked away from the still running faucet.

"Hot....... In Hoofpeka." Trixie said breathlessly, smiling a bit at the odd name for a town once again.

Trixie walked into her and Twilight's bedroom. She noticed Twilight's personal diary by the bed. And it was unlocked. Trixie tried to fight the urge, she knew reading it would be a one way trip to the couch for the foreseeable future. However her curiosity got the better of her. So she opened it up to the first page and started reading. At least she would have been reading were it not for the fact it was a collection of numbers that read

"01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110010 01110010 01111001 00100000 01010000 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100011 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01000011 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100001 00100000"

And with that Trixie growled and put the diary down. As she did so, she noticed a piece of paper sticking out of the back. She grabbed it and read the note.

"Trixie, I knew you'd try to read my diary one day so I translated it all into binary code"

"Stupid binary code. Twilight knows Trixie can't read that!"

Trixie decided to go for a walk. Passing a convenience store she looked to see a griffon hen in a rabbit suit standing outside the place handing out coupons for hats. Deciding she could always use a spare, Trixie took one and entered the store.

As the cashier rung up her new magician hat, Trixie placed the coupon on the counter.

"Oh, Trixie got a coupon from that griffon rabbit outside." The unicorn said as the cashier looked at it.

"Oh, sorry it's expired." Said the walleyed pegasus. Trixie looked out the window and glared as she ran out the door and tackled the griffon to the ground. The griffon kicked her off and then leaped on her, but Trixie bucked her hard in the chest. The griffon got up, as did Trixie. The two stared each other down and if one listened closely, they could almost hear music in the air.........

Youtube Video

The griffon charged, punching Trixie in the face who retaliated with a fore hoof to the griffon's beak.

Soon the two were in an all out brawl, making their way down the street. They ducked and dodged, bucked and slashed. Trixie summoned a lightning bolt to zap the griffon, then tackled her into Sugar Cube Corner right as a birthday party was being held. The griffon flew at Trixie and grabbed her. The griffon then threw her into the birthday cake, then quickly slammed her face down into it, attempting to smother her. Trixie bucked the griffon off and magically grabbed the punch bowl. She bashed the griffon in the head with it, breaking the bowl and sending the griffon down to the floor. Trixie turned to see stunned fillies and colts, as well as shocked parents.

"Sorry........... Griffon........... Gave bad coupon." Trixie panted out as she headed for the exit. However as she reached it she was tackled again by her opponent. The griffon latched onto her and flew her high into the sky, intent on dropping her. However, as the griffon let go Trixie conjured some rope that tied her to the griffon. The two flailed and spun out of control, eventually crash landing into a movie train.

The two sat up dazed. Trixie was the first to recover and grabbed a suitcase from the luggage rack, swinging it into the griffon's head. The griffon used it's talons to slice open the bag and swipe at Trixie's chest, cutting her. Trixie snarled in pain and anger as she tackled the griffon out the window of the train, causing the two to plummet into a river below.

Soon the two were flung out of the water by a sea serpent with an incredible looking moustache, and flew through the air, heading straight for the Golden Oak Library.

"I wonder what Trixie did while we were gone." Spike said as he opened the door for Twilight. Just as Twilight set foot in the library she saw a bloody and bruised Trixie with a just as bloody and bruised unconscious griffon on the floor. Trixie looked at Twilight and back to the knocked out griffon.

"So what did Applejack need help with?" Trixie asked, smiling with blood in her teeth. Twilight took a long, deep, breath and said,

"Just had a problem with vampire fruit bats. Also as I'm sure I don't even want to know what lead up to this, I want you to take that griffon to the hospital and get a doctor to take a look at you too."

Twilight then headed upstairs, causing Trixie to sigh.

"Wow, Trixie thought she was in for it this time." The unicorn thought to herself.

"You also better hope they want to keep you for observation since it's going to be a while before you're allowed in any bed in this house."

The Homefront

The Homefront

Princess Twilight Sparkle quickly raced down the halls of Ponyville General, panic etched on her face. She had just defeated the tyrannical Tirek, but when she found out the dire news that lead her to the hospital the thought of celebrating was the furthest thing from her mind.

"Please be okay." Twilight whispered to herself as tears began rolling down her cheeks, her wings now flapping and lifting her into the air albeit unconsciously, to reach her destination faster. She reached the room the nurse at the front desk had told her to go to and she instantly stopped. She took a deep, yet shaky, breath and slowly opened the door. There were two beds in the room. One was empty and the other had an azure colored unicorn laying on it with bandages covering most of her body along various tubes connected to her.

"Celestia, no..." Twilight said, bringing a hoof to her mouth to stifle a sob. She slowly walked over to the bed and looked at her sleeping wife. She gasped when she saw blood seeping into the bright white bandages. Slowly Trixie began to stir, as if feeling Twilight's presence in the room. The unicorn slowly turned her head, her vision fuzzy yet able to make out the telltale lavender fur of her love.

"Twi..." Trixie started, but she was stopped by Twilight he planted a soft, loving, kiss on her lips.

"You shouldn't be awake right now. You need your rest." Twilight said, smiling with tears still flowing.

"Was... Awake... Earlier. Nopony would... Give me a mirror." Trixie struggled to get out. Her voice sounded raw, like every word she said was causing her some form of pain. Trixie tried to sit up, but Twilight gentle pushed her back down.

"How... bad... is it?" Trixie asked, her eyes never leaving Twilight's. Twilight bit her lip, as she looked at Trixie. While she couldn't see much due to the amount of bandages, it was clear there would be some scarring in places. It was a good thing Trixie was so good at illusion magic because she would most likely need it to hide whatever scars she would retain.

"Well, you know some mares find scars attractive..." Twilight began, only to have Trixie begin a wheezing laugh.

"Don't... Make... Trixie laugh." Trixie said, referring to herself in the third person once again. Twilight slowly relaxed for the first time since she entered the room. She knew Trixie was going to be alright now.

"Trixie's barely... Holding together... As is." Trixie said, before her eyes slowly began to close as she fell back asleep. Twilight delicately stroked Trixie's mane with her hoof and kissed her forehead. She then levitated the other bed closer, right next to Trixie's and got on it. She laid next to her, draping a wing across the sleeping unicorn, and slowly began to drift off to a well deserved sleep herself.

"I love you Twilight." Trixie said, having woken slightly to the familiar feeling of her wife's wing. Twilight stirred slightly at hearing this, only to see Trixie had fallen back asleep as quickly as she woke.

"I love you too Trixie."

Healing is a Four Letter Word

It was a peaceful summer night in Ponyville as Twilight Sparkle and her recovering wife Trixie slept peacefully... Until...

"Twilight can you get Trixie a glass of water?" The bandaged unicorn asked as Twilight sleepily got up and poured her a glass of water.

"Thank you." Trixie said as she finished her water.

"Good night Trixie." Twilight said as she turned off light and climbed back into bed.

"Twilight, can Trixie get some more blankets for her side of the bed?" Trixie asked as Twilight got up and turned on the light and went downstairs to the linen closet.

"I'm really starting to regret not asking for royal servants." Twilight sleepily mumbled as she went back to the room and placed the blankets atop Trixie.

"Good night, Trixie." Twilight said she again tried to go back to sleep.

"Twilight, you forgot to turn out the light." Trixie said as Twilight got up and turned off the light, but banged her shin on the night table and fell over, striking her horn on the bed frame.

"That lemon has three seeds in it. That's an odd number! Trixie can't eat anything odd numbered!" Trixie frantically shouted, thrashing a hoof around.

"Fine! I'll just take it out!" Twilight practically snarled as she removed the lemon from the glass of lemonade.

"NO, NO! IT'S ALREADY BEEN CONTAMINATED BY A BAD LEMON!"

"Trixie for the last time I am not going to declare a national holiday in your honor, no matter how injured you are!" Twilight snapped at her wife.

"YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED TRIXE!"

"Uh, Twi?" Spike asked cautiously as Twilight slumped on her throne, exhausted.

"I KNOW SHE STILL ISN'T BETTER! DON'T RUB IT IN!" The princess snapped as she then sighed.

"I'm sorry Spike, it's just been a hectic couple of months." The alicorn said as she rubbed her temples.

"Twilight, I gotta tell you I think Trixie is taking advantage of you." The dragon said as Twilight looked at him incredulously.

"Spike! Trixie was critically injured!" Twilight said as Spike crossed his arms and gave her a look.

"Yeah, keyword being was. I'm not saying she's not still hurt, but I don't think it's anywhere near as bad now as it was a month ago." Spike said as he began sweeping the throne room.

"Not as hurt? Would she? No, not even Trixie would..." Twilight thought aloud as she teleported out of her throne and up to her room, a determined look on her face.

"AH HA! YOU CAN WALK!" Twilight exclaimed as she saw Trixie walking out of the bathroom.

"Uh.... Trixie can explain!" The unicorn exclaimed as she threw her hooves up defensively.

"Please do..." Twilight said as she glared at her wife.

"Well... You were always so busy and Trixie only got to see you for an hour on most days, and Trixie like you doing things for her so much.... so... I kindamilked being hurt for a little longer." Trixie confessed as she hung her head.

"Trixie, why didn't you just tell me?" Twilight asked as she used her hoof to raise Trixie's head and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I forgive you, but you're not out of the woods ye... ye.... ACHOO!" Twilight sneezed out. Trixie froze as Twilight began to cough violently.

"Well... Loods lide you get to made it ub to me after all." Twilight said, her nose clogged, as she clambered into bed.