Rarity and Spike and the Creepy Crawly Things
“Spike, could you check to see if the thermometer is properly calibrated? This experiment, and every other experiment for that matter, demands as close to perfect readings we can get.” The lavender mare lowered her goggles over her eyes in preparation for science.
Spike grumbled to himself. How did he manage to find himself as Twilight’s lab partner again? Twilight really needed to find some friends who were actually into that kind of science stuff, because after lunch, the only thing the young dragon wanted to do was rest in his basket and daydream about a certain generous unicorn. When Spike began to tune out Twilight’s orders and immerse himself in his thoughts, an urgent knocking sounded at the door of the library. “I’ll get it!” Spike said eagerly.
Twilight growled at the impending intrusion. “I thought I told everypony I would be busy!”
When Spike opened the door, his heart froze, and a heat began to rise in his face. He found himself face to face with the object of his desires, mere inches separating his face from hers. “R-Rarity?” he stammered.
Spike could almost feel the tension emanating from his crush as Rarity simply charged past him headed towards the frustrated lavender mare. Spike believed his eyes were failing him upon seeing the condition of the normally well put together mare. Her mane was tangled, and her coat was matted. A few of her false eyelashes were missing, but the unicorn either had not noticed or did not care about her appearance at the moment. The problem at hoof demanded all of her attention.
“Twilight!” Rarity screeched, nearly out of breath.
Twilight had just removed her goggles before she found herself pinned under the crazed unicorn. “What’s wrong, Rarity?” Twilight struggled under her friend’s remarkably powerful pin. “Why’d you have to pin me down?” Twilight paused and listened to the sound of her friend’s labored breathing. “And why does it sound like you just did the Running of the Leaves?”
Rarity’s eyes shifted around the room, as if she was searching for a predator on her tail. “It has returned!” she said with a panic-suffused voice.
Spike and Twilight simultaneously responded, “Huh?”
Rarity leaned in closer to Twilight so she could speak directly into the lavender mare’s ear. “It has returned,” Rarity whispered. “And this time, it brought friends!”
Twilight was still trying to determine what it had spooked Rarity until she remembered the kitchen incident at the Carousel Boutique about a week ago. That was when it had brashly made its presence known at the Carousel Boutique, with no regard for the feelings of her seamstress friend. It was also when it had escaped from trial by Twilight, a magical execution. Twilight nodded in her sudden comprehension. “I remember it now, Rarity.”
“Well, aren’t you going to help your best friend?” the elegant unicorn pleaded, putting on her famed pouty face.
“Believe it or not, Rarity, but Spike is actually an old pro at this. Better than me even.”
“My little Spikey-Wikey?” Rarity looked aghast at Twilight’s words. “Those… things… those despicable creatures.” Rarity reached over and squeezed Spike’s now famous chubby cheeks. “Twilight, how could you risk Spike defiling his innocence by interacting with those wretched beasts?”
“Well, either you take Spike with you or nothing.” Twilight donned her goggles once more. “There’s Science to be done!”
“My little Spikey-Wikey,” the fashionista trembled and her tears wet the floor.
Spike could feel his heart breaking inside him. Witnessing his heart’s desire breaking down before him nearly brought tears to his own eyes. He needed to be strong and resolute for his lady. Putting on his brave face, and brimming with confidence, Spike said, “Do not fear, Lady Rarity. Sir Spike shall take care of it for you.”
“Oh, Spike, how chivalrous,” Rarity breathed, swooning in Spike’s waiting arms.
“You need only point the direction out, milady. Not even a mountain could stop me. I shall take care of the rest.”
Twilight rolled her eyes at the exaggerated emotional scene before her. “Oh brother! Just go to the boutique, Spike! Rarity will tell you what you need to do when you get there.” Twilight erected a magical field that forced the couple out of the library.
A look of uneasiness began to fill the young assistant’s features. “But Twilight! What if I can’t do it? What if I fail?”
“Spike, just look at the mare in your arms right now. Wouldn’t you do anything for her? She needs you, Spike. You can do this!” Twilight did her best to boost Spike’s confidence.
Spike puffed his chest out and with strength he never knew he possessed, carried his damsel all the way to her home.
When Spike and Rarity arrived at the Carousel Boutique, Spike gently placed Rarity on the ground at her request, and stood back as she magically unlocked the door of the boutique. The door swung open silently on well-oiled hinges, revealing the dark abyss within. Rarity gulped and motioned for Spike to follow her. Once they had entered, the door promptly slammed shut seemingly of it’s own accord.
“Rarity?” Spike whispered, for he felt the operation merited near silence.
“Yes, Spike?” Rarity responded in an equally hushed voice.
“What exactly are we looking for? What is it?”
As the pair fumbled their way through the darkness into the kitchen, Rarity trembled as her mind’s eye recalled the disgusting appearance of the monsters that had invaded her peaceful abode. “It is,” she began.
Spike placed his claw on the shaken unicorn’s coat trying to convey a sense of comfort to her as he waited patiently for the description.
“They are… they’re just ewwww! They make me feel icky and it feels like they’re crawling all over my coat when I think about them! They’re,” ever the dramatic, Rarity’s speech halted and the tension in the room rose another notch, “The Creepy Crawly Things!” Rarity wailed and stomped her hooves.
As if summoned by the mere mention of their name, the Creepy Crawly Things made their presence known in the darkness by the faint scuttling sound their tiny feet produced. Rarity reflexively fired up her horn and powered on the kitchen lights, only to find herself, and her knight, completely surrounded by the foreign invaders, their antennas quivering with hostility.
“SPIIIIIIKE!!! DO SOMETHING!” Rarity closed her eyes and latched onto Spike’s head as the Creepy Crawly Things began to advance menacingly on the duo. Spike counted six legs on the nearest one and a shiny exoskeleton. The thing had to have bigger than his claws.
“Whoa! I’ve never seen one that big before! And I’ve never seen so many in one place!” Spike reluctantly coaxed Rarity to release her grip on him. “Wait here, where it’s safe, milady.” Spike turned his noble visage upon the continuously manifesting problem at hoof. This would require all of his skill.
Recently, Spike had been learning how to send objects other than scrolls through his enchanted flame. Princess Celestia and Twilight both agreed it could be an extremely useful skill in times of dire need. Although, it was still a limited skill that only the solar sovereign could use to receive an object, it would have to do. Spike searched for the burning heat within him. Once he had located the source of the heat, he breathed deeply and summoned forth his inner fire and commanded it do his bidding, targeting only the crawlers. Rearing his head back with a flourish, Spike’s mouth parted at the seam as he let loose a blast of magical flames at the unwelcome houseguests. Spike faintly heard a panicked voice over the roar of the flames billowing forth from his maw.
“You’re burning them, Spike? All their charred remains will remain on the floor of my boutique!” Rarity would have swooned once more if a few of the beasties hadn’t made their way towards her. “Spike, over here!”
Spike heeded his maiden’s call at once, and directed the fiery deluge at the Creepy Crawly Things who had made an attempt on his beloved’s life. Spike gracefully lifted the unicorn over his head, and proceeded to rotate on the spot, dousing the room in three hundred sixty degree coverage of his emerald green flames. When the smoke cleared, Rarity was surprised to see no remains. It appeared the creatures had simply vanished.
“Oh, Spike,” Rarity whispered breathily. “You’re my,” Rarity paused once more for to heighten the emotions of the moment, “Hero.” Spike blushed as the scene played out remarkably similar to his frequent fantasies of the elegant unicorn. He had just rescued his damsel in distress, and, if the moment followed his fantasy’s usual script, he would be rewarded with some form of affection. Before Spike could think about which reward he would receive in this particular fantasy, he felt a soft pair of lips on his cheek. The warmth emanating from Rarity’s lips exceeded the warmth that had rushed into Spike’s cheeks at that moment. The brief spell of contact was sufficient enough for Spike to become thoroughly disoriented, his attraction reaching a fever pitch. Twilight’s good night kisses from back in the day had nothing on what he just experienced. Spike was rendered speechless as the object of his desires grinned seductively at him, biting her lower lip. She wrapped a hoof around the young drake’s arm and proceeded to drag him to the stairs that led to her private quarters.
“Spike, there’s a part two to your reward.” Rarity whispered. “Would you like to collect now, or collect now?” Rarity glanced at her brave dragon, only to be met with the hearts for eyes look, a look she had long grown accustomed to, and she knew that look meant ‘YES!’.
Before reaching the staircase, an all too familiar scuttling sound was heard by the dragon and his lady. Like a well-practiced actress, Rarity’s instantly slipped out of her seductress role and into her damsel in distress. “SPIIIIKE!” she shouted as she spotted one of the Creepy Crawly Things scuttle under a door that led to Sweetie Belle’s temporary room.
“Already on it, milady!” Spike snapped out of his love struck form. His damsel was still in distress, and she needed him. Spike puffed his chest out as his ego expanded. His crush was latched onto him again, and she needed him. Spike smirked with confidence and prepared himself for what was on the other side of Sweetie Belle’s door.
No amount of preparation could have readied him for what he saw. Roaches. Roaches everywhere. In every possible nook, cranny, and crevice. Not a square inch was spared from their wrath. The walls, ceiling, and floor flowed like an ocean with multiple, disgusting, moving parts. At the epicenter of the disaster, Sweetie Belle was sitting with a pleased grin on her face, having a tea party with a few crawlers. When Spike squinted his eyes, he could just make out the food source, a veritable mountain of what looked to be Sugar Cube Corner confection bags. Rarity had long since fainted at this point, her brain most likely doing its best to repress the sight of the roach bug infestation from her memory. As studly a dragon as Spike was, even he had trouble keeping his stomach from lurching at the sight.
“Hi, Spike! Hi, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle squeaked with a toothy grin. “Want to meet my new friends? Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were away for a few days with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and you didn’t want to play with me, so I found some new friends.” Sweetie Belle stated, puffing her chest out with a satisfied look. “I found one in the kitchen a few days ago and I gave it some cupcakes from Sugar Cube Corner. He seemed to like it a lot and before I knew it, he brought a whole bunch of friends over! Annnnnnnnd, they really like my cooking too!”
Spike could no longer keep his gag reflex in check. With a lurch, his mouth opened and he released a torrent of emerald green fire that engulfed the entirety of Sweetie Belle’s room. As Spike’s convulsions continued, more jets of flame were sent into the room, forcing Sweetie Belle to forsake her newfound friends.
“How could you do this to me, Spike?” Sweetie Belle questioned with tears in her eyes. “You’re killing some of my very best friends! How dare you!” Sweetie Belle squeaked with a hurt look on her adorable face.
Spike was still uncontrollably spewing out his magical flames. During a brief lull in his violent reaction, Spike was finally able to speak while gasping for air. “I c-can’t stop! It j-just keeps c-c-coming out!” Spike grabbed his fainted damsel and headed for the exit, Sweetie Belle close behind. When they escaped to the outside of the boutique, Spike faced the edifice and let loose with the most impressive plume of fire he had breathed that day, completely engulfing the boutique. If one listened closely, one could almost hear the Creepy Crawly Things writhe in agony as they were transported through the ether.
The sun was just beginning to set on what was another beautiful day in Ponyville. Twilight was composing a report for her teacher on her findings on the benefits of using the sun to heat water, producing steam that would spin turbines for generating thermoelectric power. After she had proofread her report to the point of satisfaction, she called her trusty assistant over to send it.
Princess Celestia’s reply was almost instantaneous. The letter read:
Dear Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student,
Thank you for your report. It will definitely spark new discussions for the upcoming changes to Equestria’s infrastructure, but it seems we have more… pressing… matters to discuss at the moment. Are you currently fending off an infestation of any kind? I’ve been bombarded with far too many of a certain pest to mention. Why don’t you use the extermination spell I taught you? I got rid of these things in a few seconds.
Happy exterminating,
Princess Celestia
As Spike read the letter, his face grew more and more red as his rage built. “You mean to tell me, Twilight, that you could have wiped out all those crawlers with just a wave of your horn?” Tremors rocked through Spike’s body upon remembering the sight of Sweetie Belle covered in roaches. “You have no idea the horrors me and Rarity went through today.”
“Did you get closer to Rarity at least?” Twilight chuckled a bit at her assistant’s frustration.
“Well, yeah I guess.” Spike scratched his head as he reluctantly recalled what happened at the boutique. “She was going to give me some reward but I never got to see what it was. When I reminded her afterwards she hid behind her mane and said she would see me later. Weird, huh?”
“Hmm,” Twilight stroked her chin. “I don’t know, Spike, but it seems like she was going to ask you something.”
As if on cue, a gentle knocking reverberated from the front door. “I got it, Twilight.” Spike quickly dashed to the door and opened it revealing Rarity in a stunning, amethyst dress. Spike’s jaw nearly dropped to the ground. He had never seen Rarity as radiant as he had seen her then. Maybe the Creepy Crawly Things and Twilight’s negligence were deserving of thanks.
“Um, Spike? Greeting a lady with mouth agape would be considered uncouth, don’t you think?” Rarity blinked flirtatiously as she watched her young knight struggle to communicate with her. “I’ll save you the trouble of asking why I’m here. This,” Rarity levitated a small bag she was carrying into Spike’s waiting claws, “In that bag is a striking new, amethyst tuxedo I crafted for you. I weaved in diamond dust to give it that extra ‘oomph’ needed to bring it to life.” Spike withdrew the tuxedo and matching top hat and held it up in the light of the setting sun. The tux seemed to shimmer in the light, and radiated a deep hue of amethyst. It completely blew away his Gala tux.
“Wow, Rarity,” Spike gasped, “You’ve outdone yourself again. I’m speechless.” Spike’s eyes shone as he gazed upon his new tux, which looked good enough to eat.
“I only need you to say one word, Spikey-Wikey. Okay?” Spike eagerly nodded his assent. “Spike, I have made reservations for two at the Ornate Spoon this evening. Will you go with me?” Rarity demurely hid behind her mane in a manner remarkably similar to a notoriously shy pegasus.
“Yes!” Spike quickly suited up and lifted his damsel’s hoof to place a kiss on it. “It would be my honor to dine with you, Lady Rarity.” Rarity and Spike turned and walked towards the fading light of the sun.
Twilight gagged at the rapidly unfolding scene. It was much too cheesy, like something straight out of a cheap romance novel. Twilight called out to her friends, “Make sure Spike gets back before it gets late!” Twilight sighed when she realized she her request had fallen on deaf ears. “I guess Spike got that reward after all.” Twilight slyly grinned to herself. “This will make for some great gossip, I mean, a great lesson in friendship for the Princess.”
Twilight began to compose a letter.
