Equestrian Aviation

by MrTyreste

Rating: teen
Tags: Wonderbolts, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Random, Adventure
Length: 9570

A Lietenant of the United States Air Force winds up in Equestria and struggles to adapt to his new body and his lack of memories. Rainbow Dash wants to help him, and so far he needs all the help he can get.

It's funny how the simplest things can change your life, whether for good or for ill. While on a simple recon mission, a malfunction in flight causes Colton Miller, First Lietenent of the USAF, to shatter the sound barrier and end up in a magical land of ponies and other strange things with no memory of how he got there or who he used to be. He only remembers three things; his name, his rank and position, and where he comes from.

Fortunately, Rainbow Dash manages to find him and befriend the stranger to Equestria. While at odds over strange things like who's the fastest or strongest (actually, not that odd for Dashie.) they soon become fast friends. But despite this, Colton is determined to get home, and Rainbow Dash is more than willing to help.

It looks like they're going to need a little... Equestrian Aviation!

*BOOM*

Ahhhhhh!

What in tarnation?!

Dude! What the heck?!

Sorry girls, I had to blow up the library for something!

Published 2013-08-11 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-06 05:00:39 UTC

When I'm flying...

When I'm flying, I feel like I can do anything. I forget about my life outside the Air Force, my single lifestyle, my days as a cashier at the local gas station. No, when I'm up here in the air, in this old F-22, I can look down at my old life and just laugh. Because up here, I'm untouchable. A couple thousand feet above the world, I'd like to see my old manager's face try and call me useless now. I'm making about half what he makes and I just started about two years ago? It feels longer than that, probably because of BMT at the Air Force Academy. Oh, I should probably concentrate on what I'm doing. I'm about 10,000 feet in the air over the capital of Colorado, it's probably best that-

"Yo, Miller, you jacking off in there or do you think you could finish testing the new Raptor sometime before you run out of fuel?" A voice comes over the radio as the pilot nearly jumps out of his seat. It was one of the people from the command center, needing him to test drive one of the newer planes that had just been manufactured.

"Uh, sir that's highly inappropriate for the radio." Colton Miller, a Lietenent of the USAF, smartly responds.

"Lietenent Miller, this is Master Sargent Jeremy Phillips, you are requested to return to base, over." A cooler, albeit older voice comes over the two-way radio. "Sorry for the vernacular before, Polanski is getting impatient." A static, but clearly distinguished group of laughter is heard over the radio as Colton only smiles.

"Understood sir, Lietenent Miller returning to base." He said as he angled the flight stick higher towards the air.

Right after a little trick... He thought to himself as he felt the F-22 Raptor begin to climb altitude. Slowly he could feel himself turning up higher and higher until he felt himself become completely vertical in the air. However, as he began to climb, a short spark erupted from the flight controls, causing the plane to fall from altitude.

"Lietenent Miller, you seem to be dropping altitude, is there a problem?" Jeremy calls over the two-way.

"I don't know, the controls just stopped working!" He cried. He tried his best not to panic. This was what he was trained for. He had pulled out of his fair share of malfunctions, but this one was different. He had been warned that the F-22 Raptor was a bit glitchy after the recent upgrades, but he had never stopped to ask how. "I don't know if I can pull out of this one, neither the console nor the flight stick are responding properly and I'm losing altitude fast. The engines are still going strong and I'm falling down at an angle. Estimated impact time in-" Before he could finish he felt the plane begin to grow seemingly tighter around him. His entire world became silent as he awaited his end at the controls of the thing he loved most. This was it, was all he could think while time seemed to slow down and his world turned to black.

"For the last time, Rarity, I said no!" Rainbow Dash blurted out at the fashionista pony who was trying desperately to get her friend to try on a new style of dress she had designed.

"But darling, you only get invited to a royal ball once in a lifetime!"

"Rarity, you and I both know that's not true." She raised an eyebrow, noticing Rarity completely forgetting their invitations to several high class parties in Canterlot, being bearers of the Elements and all.

"Well, er yes." Rarity said, slightly losing her composure for a second. "But this will be the first one that you yourself have been invited to, on your own merits as one of the newest members of the Wonderbolts! Oh I can simply see it now, you strutting in, wearing an absolutely gorgeous ensemble, on the arm of a dashing young-"

"Exactly, Rarity! I have to bring a date, Spitfire said it's practically expected. You and I both know that it's not happening." She said defiantly as she stomped her hoof in protest. "We're going the whole nine-yards, even renting out one of the fanciest hotels in Canterlot for the couples only! As in, same bedroom, same bed, sleeping, together!" Rainbow tried to make a suggestive gesture with her hooves, but it only ended up looking like she was trying to knock them together at an awkward angle. "Oh you know what I mean!" She sat down, looking pitiful as Rarity continued designing the dress.

"Rainbow, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of possible intercourse for the evening, why not take one of us with you instead? I'm sure I could make time in my schedule for you. I'll bet even Fluttershy would be more than happy to attend, being a fellow Pegasus and all." Rarity offered, trying to console her friend.

"It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the idea, I mean I wouldn't mine...you know?" She said awkwardly as she brushed the back of her neck with her hoof, Rarity listening intently. "But it has to be someone I trust. Whether something did happen or not, I'd want to have zero regrets after all is said and done. And no offense, but I got enough of the 'filly-fooler' stuff back in Flight School. I love you girls to death, but I don't want to dig up any hatchets that may have been buried over the years." She explained as Rarity stiffled a giggle over the awkward turn of phrase.

"I completely understand, Rainbow Dash, if you'd like I could try to find a date you could drag along. You could even screen him and get to know him before hand. The annual Royal Guard's ball is about two months away, you said? That should be plenty of-"

*BOOM*

An enormous sonic boom erupted from outside as the two mares fell backwards into the piles of fabric and figures. Looking at each other puzzled for a few moments, Rainbow Dash was the first outside to investigate the explosion. There, on the horizon, was a sonic boom even bigger than any of the ones she had produced. Unlike her Sonic Rainboom, this one looked completely on fire and was nearly three times as loud as anything she had ever done. The shockwave alone was practically lifting roofs off of houses and tree leaves from their trees.

"Look, up there!" Rarity called out as she pointed towards the event, a pair of binoculars to her eyes. Rainbow Dash grabbed part of them and held one of the lenses to her eye, beholding the sight before her. A dark blue stallion with a white mane was hurtling down towards the Everfree Forest, followed by what looked like a metal monster set on fire.

"If that thing lands on top of him, he could be smashed to pieces!" Rainbow Dash darted towards the falling pony and debris, intent on saving his life.

What's going on? Colton thought to himself as he felt the cool breeze flow across his face. "Am I flying? This must be one of the topless models I kept hearing about. Thought that was just an academy joke. Heh, well I guess I'll head back to the-" He stopped to look down at where the controls should have been only to find a pair of hooves where his hands once were.

"What the fuck?!" He shouted as he noticed he wasn't in a plane, and that his hands were replaced by blue forelegs and white hooves. "Am I a fucking horse?!" He kept looking himself over, horrified to find his once hardened, military body had been replaced with something out of a little girl's coloring book. "Ok, keep in together, probably just a bad dream, too much vodka at the lounge last night." He laughed as he turned around.

And was met by the hellish visage of a F-22 Raptor on the verge of combusting even further behind him.

"Yeah, this better be a dream, or this is coming out of my salary. Forget Article-15, they'll have me paying them until I make Captain." He said snarkily as he continued to fall.

"Hold on!" A tomboyish voice came from behind him as a rainbow blur pulled him out of the way and into the safety of the trees. "Wait a minute..." The cyan pegasus looked him up and down. "You've got wings, why didn't you use them?!" Before she could finish her rant, she felt the entire tree shake as the plane hit its mark, sending up a good several meters of Everfree in smoke and fire.

"Lucky it's by a river, otherwise the fire would spread and cause unnecessary damage." Colton stood up, trying to get the hang of his new four legs. Good thing those storm clouds are rolling in from the South, we won't have to worry about putting the flames out manually. Thanks for the save, miss, but I probably would have woken up from the impact." He said with a know-it-all attitude that made Rainbow want to both laugh and punch him in the face for.

"Uh, and you are?"

"Lietenent Colton Miller, pilot in the United States Air Force. May I ask who you are?" He offered a hoof to her.

"I'm Rainbow Dash. Newest member of the Wonderbolts and captain of the weather team in Ponyville."

"Ponyville? Wow, I really hit the stuff hard last night. I don't even remember what I had for breakfast the day before. Weird." He laughed. "Some dream, huh? You know for a horse you actually look pretty cute. You wouldn't mind maybe getting a drink later, would you?" He grinned as Rainbow Dash blushed slightly.

"Well, cassanova, as tempting as that sounds, you're not dreaming." She bumped his hoof slightly. "I don't know what the United States are, but I bet you'll fit in with the other Pegasi here in Equestria. That sonic flameboom was simply awesome!" She comically tried to come up with a name for the "trick" Colton had just performed.

"Wait, I thought this was Ponyville." He said confused.

"Well, Ponyville's the name of the town I live in. Equestria is the name of this country." She explained. "Well, really I'm from Clousdale, but there's a bunch of cities like Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Maretropolis, Canterlot, hey you don't look so good." She observed as the stallion began to rock back and forth.

"Oh fuck me..." He cursed as he fainted, and hit the ground hard.

"Dude, we just met." Rainbow Dash stated bluntly.

No Recollection

"Ok, come on, you can do this." Colton groaned to himself as he slowly got off of the ground. Rainbow Dash had taken him to Fluttershy's cottage after his fainting episode, and rather than staying inside to rest and assess the situation he immediately ran off to try and fly back to wherever he came from. He tried his hardest to fly, but ended up making a name for himself as the worst flier in Equestria, and the most profane according to some passing animals with a mild understanding of the English language.

"So, you rescued him from a burning building falling from the sky?" Fluttershy asked on the edge of her seat, a look of slight excitement in her eyes.

"Well, it was more like a giant metal thing, but thankfully it hit near the river so we don't have to worry about much collateral damage." Rainbow Dash stated matter-of-factly. She had to admit, she was impressed by the stallion's knowledge of weather patterns and location, despite obviously not being from Equestria. "He says he's from the "United States Air Force" but other than that he didn't really know much else about himself." She picked up her fresh tea, courtesy of Fluttershy, and took a small sip. "I mean, he's a Pegasus, so that's gotta count for something."

And pretty damn cute...She thought to herself.

"Hey! Maybe he could be your date to the Royal Guard's ball. Didn't you say the Wonderbolts were invited this year?"

"Every year, and no I'm probably not going. Last year I was in heat so I didn't go. But at least I had a coltfriend at the time. This time, I'm solo." She said, remembering the short fling she had with Thunderlane. It had only lasted about two months, but even then she constantly made him the butt of her jokes when someone made the comment about something being 'small' or 'annoying.' It made everyone wonder why she went out with him even after she showed a lot of disdain for the stallion during the tornado season in Ponyville. "And before you ask, no I'm not taking one of the girls. We're all meeting in Cloudsdale for the big air show all the way to Canterlot, so I'd rather not risk it considering Billy or any of my other Flight School bullies might be working the event." She said disgustedly.

"Why don't you just go with a male friend? That way you wouldn't have to worry about any unwanted contact, and still have a good time." Fluttershy tried to find a solution to her friend's problem, but Rainbow Dash only sighed as she finished her tea.

"I don't have that many-" She stopped, thinking for a moment, then it suddenly dawned on her. "Wait! Colton could go! I could train him to be a better flier and he could do the airshow with me. He was tough enough to pull of a sonic boom coming here, he'd be perfect!" She practically beamed.

"Um, isn't that what I just-"

"I have to go talk to him. Maybe he's up by now!" She trotted upstairs to Fluttershy's bedroom where they'd left the unconcious stallion and kicked open the door. "Hey big guy, you up?" She asked as the door fell off its hinge. She looked down at the bed in horror, only to find that the stallion was gone. "Dammit, he ran off!" She darted towards the window and tried to find any trace of him. Then suddenly, over in the distance, she noticed a tall Pegasus limping back towards the cottage, a slight red trail down his left side as he tried to lift himself off the ground again, only to practically fire himself forward and into the ground after climbing several feet. Rainbow Dash opened the window and flew towards the stallion, a disgruntled Fluttershy following her.

"God freaking damn it, this hurts." Colton grumbled as he limped back towards the cottage, his wing and side bleeding. He thought he could fly using those new wings of his, but every time he took off he ended up going seriously too fast and crashing. Airmen don't quit, he thought hard to himself as he prepped his wings for another take off. He bit his lip, prepared for the pain that was sure to follow while he flared his wings as wide as he could. Then, without a moment's hesitation, he kicked off from the ground hard and flapped his wings as fast as he could. "Yes, we have liftoff!" He exclaimed as he flew fast and far...

And right into Rainbow Dash's chest.

"Oof!" He heard her say as the duo came falling from the sky. The two landed hard on the ground, with Colton landing on his left side (ow!) with Rainbow Dash having had the breath knocked out of her on top of him. "Wow, and they call me Rainbow Crash?" She clutched her chest for a moment, all while trying to stifle a few giggles. He winced as he felt her move herself from on top of him, slightly moaning at the rocks and dirt that now covered his wounded side.

"Hey," He blinked remembering who she was for a second. "You're the girl who saved me earlier. Nice catch." He laughed as he rolled over to attempt to get back up on his four legs. "I probably would have just crashed again. Man, this flying thing is tougher than it looks." He shook his head as he tried to think for a moment.

"Wait, but you said you were a pilot in the Air Force, isn't flying what you did?" Rainbow Dash asked. How could someone who's job was to fly not know how to.

"I remember my name, I remember my rank and what I did, but I can't really remember much else after that." He said, still rubbing his head trying to recollect the events of what had happened to him. He remembered being in a plane, breaking the sound barrier, and then next thing he knew he was a pony. Or a horse...thing. He really didn't know what was going on except that he needed answers.

"Well, if I take you to someone who could help restore your memories, think you might do me a solid?" She asked with a grin on her face.

"What kind of solid?" Colton asked, wondering where a horse learns that kind of language.

"All in good time, but for right now let's-" She turned around to find Fluttershy, still angry, and having not said a word since they showed up. "Umm, is something wrong Fluttershy?" She asked, almost afraid of Fluttershy's intimidating glare. Wow, never seen her this upset before out of nowhere, Rainbow thought to herself.

"You owe me a new door, you jerk." She said in a quiet, albeit angry voice.

Rainbow's ears lowered as she smiled sheepishly. "Oh..."

Putting it Together

"Yo Colton, got a second?" A woman in uniform approached the pilot as he worked below his truck in one of the base's many garages. The man pulled himself out from under the bottom of the vehicle only to get a quick glimpse of the one calling for him, and then rolled his eyes before throwing himself back under the truck. "Word's going around the base like wildfire, something about a fight between you and your lady last night. What the hell happened?" She asked before pulling him out from under the truck, causing the tools in use to fall from their respective parts of the automobile's underside.

"Britt? What the fuck, dude?" Colton all but spat out as he reached back under the vehicle to grab his tools. "I really don't want to talk about it, so piss off." He said before trying to go back under the vehicle, but as he did he felt a hand around his leg forcing him back.

"Dude, what's up? Second Lietenent of the USAF and you're all bent out of shape over a fight? You guys didn't break up, did you?" Britt was one of Colton's best friends from his hometown in Arizona, the only difference was that Colton had finished college before signing up for the officer's program at the Air Force Academy while she had busted her ass at BMT in Texas. Yet despite that she was still making almost as much as he was after her recent promotion. Yet his silence said it all as he slowly got off the ground and sighed.

"She didn't want to date a G.I. anymore, I guess. So she told me to either resign or lose her. I didn't want to give up this job, so here I am single again." He mumbled, not wanting her to hear him in this current state of depression.

"Resign or dumped? That's messed up, bro." The auburn haired sergeant stated. "Hey, I'll tell you what, come by my place later tonight. Allie's been reassigned so we'd have the barrack to ourselves. I'm thinking a little pizza and some Halo?" She grinned, trying to get a smile out of her best friend.

"Halo?" He chuckled. "You'd think we played Copy and Paste of Duty like normal military kids."

"Was that supposed to be a joke?" Britt raised an eyebrow as she tried not to smile.

"Kind of." He rubbed the back of his neck.

Colton's eyes shot open as he remembered just where he was. Once a pilot, now a pegasus pony in a strange world he was trying so hard to understand. His eyes were locked on the great hunk of destroyed metal and debris that was once a plane he piloted. A great chunk of the Everfree Forest, wiped out by this falling monstrosity, and he couldn't stop the feeling that he would be here forever.

"Is he going to be ok?" Rainbow Dash asked, the pair of ponies watching this melancholy stallion from a distance as he mourned the destroyed plane and riverbank.

"I'm not sure." Twilight said. "The memory spell works, but in small doses. I think he might have triggered one when he stared at this thing. Obviously I can't restore all his memories at once, or else it would likely fry his brain." Twilight tried to explain. "By the way..." She began. "I'm really sorry about earlier, at the library. You kinda caught me at a bad time." She blushed slightly as a small chuckle escaped her.

"You're not living that down easily, Twi." Rainbow snorted.

"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash burst through the library in a hurry after the incident with the plane crashing into the Everfree. With Colton in Fluttershy's care, and out of commission, she sought the one pony in Ponyville who could help with something like this. "We got a problem, there was a sonic boom and Colton-" She took a sniff of the air and nearly gagged before she whipped her head around trying to find the source of the stench.

"Do I smell alcohol?" Rainbow asked, inquisitively.

"What do you *hic* want now, Dash?" A slurred voice came from the other room. Rainbow trotted upstairs to the bedroom, only to find one very depressing Twilight and a half-empty bottle of dandelion wine. "Can't you see I'm...ow." She clutched her head before dropping the wine on the floor, causing the bottle to shatter as the contents soaked her wood floor beside her bed. Twilight's eyes grew wide as she reached a hoof, albeit lazily, towards the broken glass. "Aww, Berry gave me that." She whimped drunkenly.

"Uh, Twilight? You doing ok?" She asked, wondering why the Princess' perfect student now had more alcohol in her system than blood.

"Stallions are...ow...fucking dicks." Twilight slurred her words as she sprawled out on the bed, still reaching for the bottle's remains. "I took a break from studying the effects of interdimensional travel between our world and the human world, right? I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt to maybe see if I could find a date for a movie, maybe have a little dinner, even got the bottle of wine for the occassion." She still reached pathetically for the bottle's broken shards, the contents seeping into the floor and onto the covers falling off her bed. "My poor bottle, he was so young." She cried as she could practically hear the liquid calling to her. "I'm so sorry!" Rainbow stifled a laugh as the purple unicorn continued her love affair with the inanimate object.

"Uh, Twilight, I don't mean to get between a unicorn and her drinks, but I really do need your help." Rainbow began as she tried to explain the situation regarding the Airman turned Pony.

"Oh, let me guess, he's one of those badass military types that just suddenly showed up in Equestria who could take on some Eldritch creature in a fight just by sneezing on it and one of us is going to end up in bed with him. Probably you considering you're the one who found him, you both will get married, some crazy monster will show up that only he will be able to defeat and yada yada yada, am I right so far?" She ranted as she flailed her hooves and tail around trying to make her point, Rainbow Dash only blinked in confusion.

"Ok Twilight, I didn't want to have to do this, but you left me no choice." Rainbow sighed as she hoisted her friend onto her back and trotted towards the bathroom, trying her best to keep the drunken unicorn from falling over. When they reached the bathtub, Rainbow ran the water at its coldest temperature and waited. The tub took no time at all until it was filled to capacity, and Rainbow turned the water off immediately.

"Oh Dashie, it's that Hearth's Warming party all over again. Have I been a naughty filly again this year?" Twilight asked in a sultry tone, trying to bring up memories Rainbow Dash really wished she could forget. "What are we gonna--eeep!" Without warning Rainbow bucked her into the tub of ice cold water and she hit with an explosion of energy erupting from her horn.

And it slammed Rainbow Dash into the wall behind her.

"I still wish you hadn't turned the water that cold!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, still reliving the annoyance from yesterday.

"I wish you hadn't brought up the party. You know I was really drunk at the time." She shouted back.

"You know I can hear you, right?" Colton shouted back towards them, causing the mares to blush. "And now I'm interested in that party of yours." He laughed as he stood up on his hooves and trotted over to them.

"How's the whole memory thing going?" Rainbow Dash asked, concerned for the confused stallion. "Got anything yet?"

"Only that I'm apparently single and played something called 'Halo.'" He said. "Other than that, nothing. So do you know how I got here, Miss Twilight, was it?" He turned to the lavender mare.

"It might have been a doorway of some sort, kind of like with Applejack's husband. I'm still trying to work out the details myself, which is why I cast that spell earlier when I was-" She stopped for a moment and her face flushed. Suddenly, she had an idea of how Colton came to be here and how he ended up a pony.

Rainbow could only stare for a moment before placing her hoof to her face and sighing deeply. "Please don't tell me he's here because of some mishap with drunken, horny unicorn magic miss-fires." Try saying that five times fast, she immediately thought to herself.

"Ugh, magic, ponies, I seriously want to just go home." Colton sighed.

"Listen, I'm going to go back to the library to do some more research I started when Johnny first arrived. Why don't you take him down to Sweet Apple Acres and see about getting him a job. It might do him some good to be with someone from his own world."

"So...husband, huh?" Colton asked, wondering just who this Applejack was and who this Johnny was going to turn out to be.

"Yeah, strange thing, he showed up one day in her barn and the two ended up becoming inseparable after a while Only unlike you, he stayed a human." She explained, remembering the details like it had been yesterday. Johnny had saved her sister and the CMC from a burning shed and had later even tracked down her ex-boyfriend who had put the kidnappers up to the task. They had their fights, sure, but when he finally asked her to marry him she couldn't help but say yes. Finally they arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, but only to find the place had even more trees and an even larger barn than ever before.

"Wow, now that's a house." Colton beamed at the sight of the Apple Family's beautiful farm house when an orange mare in pigtails sporting a brown stetson came galloping up to them.

"Well howdy, Rainbow Dash. Didn't expect to see you today. What can I do ya for?" The mare said with a soft smile on her face as she turned slightly to the blue stallion. "Howdy, pardner. Name's Applejack. See yer a friend of Rainbow Dash, here. Well you're more than welcome on our farm as long as ya like." She extended a hoof to his. He smiled as he touched his hoof to hers before placing it back down on the ground. "You like the new orchard? Applebloom helped me and Big Macintosh plant all these trees last summer. Can't tell ya how much business we've been getting since-" She stopped to notice Rainbow Dash snickering slightly as she looked at her friend's hair.

"Uh, what's with the new look, AJ?" She giggled, but tried her best not to laugh.

"What? Can't a mare have a little variety now and again?" She said matter-of-factly. "My stallion happens to like them, but not as much as he likes my hair down, see?" She shook her head back and forth as though trying to hit her pegasus friend with one of the braids, to no avail. "So, Rainbow Dash, I have some news. Johnny and I are..." She stopped before hearing a loud crash.

"Celestia, damn it!" A gruff, albeit soft voice came from behind the farmhouse. A tall stallion, towering over even Colton, came limping from behind the house. He had a tan coat and sported a black mane with a white streak down the side of it.

"Consarn it, darlin, watch your language! We got guests here!" Applejack said angrily before turning back to her friend and Colton, smiling a tad embarressed.

"I'm so sorry, Jackie. The switch still takes some getting used to." He laughed as he limped over beside Applejack.

"Wait a minute..." Rainbow Dash pondered a moment before eyeing the stallion's flank. A Celtic knotwork in the shape of a cross, colored green and black, adorned it. There was only one who had a symbol like that on his body. "Johnny? You're a-"

He raised a hoof as though to silence her and laughed. "Long story, RD." Applejack laughed as he kissed her on the cheek. "Did you tell them, yet?" He asked her, and by the sudden surprise look on her face he guessed it was a no.

"Oh, right. Well RD, big news time." She took a deep breath before looking to her husband expecting a signal of approval before turning back to her friend with a the biggest grin on her face. "I'm pregnant!" She practically bursted with joy.

Rainbow Dash said nothing, only sat onto her haunches as her jaw dropped.

Rock me like a Wagon Wheel.

"So you're a human, too?" Colton trotted beside the tall, tan stallion while carrying a barrel of apples clumsily on his back. He was still getting used to his pony form's movement, but the heavy barrel seemed to stabilize his balance a bit more than usual. Johnny had just recently managed to master his new look, though he occasionally tripped or knocked something over trying to maneuver, but he knew that they both had a lot of work to do. One-hundred moons had nearly passed, and it was nearly time for the Apple Family reunion once again. Fortunately there was a smaller group coming this year, much to Johnny and Applejack's relief seeing as they still were unsure what the other Apples would think of their impending foal, so there wasn't much pressure in terms of decoration or festivities. However Johnny still wanted things to be as perfect as he could make them, though not as "perfect" as Applejack had tried to make things when she was in charge.

"Oh yeah, well I have a little trick, see?" He stopped for a moment and put a hoof to his left-foreleg onto a golden band with runic markings on it. "One...two...three!" In one motion he slid the band off of his leg and what was once a stallion immediately transformed into a tall, tan twenty-one year old man in a plaid shirt, boots, and jeans with short black hair. His face transformed into a stupid grin as he twirled in place in front of the Pegasus stallion. "Ta-da!" Colton's jaw dropped as Johnny slid the band back around his arm, turning him back into the tan stallion wearing a stetson.

"How...how?" Colton had no words. "How can you go from a horse to a person just like that?" He pouted.

"A little something Princess Celestia and Twilight cooked up. There have been enough humans tumble through here that a few have actually allowed the ponies to study them and create what Twilight calls Ponysona." He cringed at the name. "It's a work in progress, especially the name, but it allows us who choose to stay in this world to blend in better." He looked over towards his wife as she was still talking to Rainbow Dash, noticing that she had never stopped smiling even once.

"So, you and that orange mare? You're married?" Colton asked, still in disbelief. "How does that even work? I mean, you're different species. Surely it's kind of weird, I mean-" Johnny raised a hoof in an attempt to stop him.

"Mister Colton, let me give you some advice. This isn't Earth, or even our universe. Everything here is different. Now if you had asked me on our world what I thought about being someone like her, I'd probably be grossed out, but..." He broke eye contact to look at his wife again. He still remembered the day he had wound up in Equestria and the two hadn't been too trusting of one another, yet here they were a married couple. "There's nothing different, man. Trust me." He smiled and picked up the planks of wood and placed them back onto his back and started walking towards the site of the reunion. Colton had begun to understand where he was coming from. Despite the change, he still felt the same kind of attraction towards Rainbow Dash that he would feel towards an attractive woman. Part of him wanted to get to know her, but at the same time part of him still wanted to restore the rest of his memories.

"So...you guys are expecting a child, right?" Colton finally said after a few feet of walking.

"Yep." Johnny winked, doing his best to mimic his new brother-in-law.

"So that means you two..."

Johnny blushed a bit before smirking and turning to Colton. "You know any other ways to knock a girl up?" He laughed.

"How is it? Is it like..." Colton asked, a bit embarrassed.

Johnny stopped for a moment and turned to face his new friend. Colton had to admit, despite being a larger than average pony (from what he had seen) Johnny practically towered over him. Rainbow Dash had even made the comment that he was almost as tall as a "Princess Celestia," whoever that was.

"Already planning on getting with one of 'em, huh?" Johnny laughed a bit. "Well I'm not a great source of knowledge considering, besides my darlin, I've only slept with one woman in my life. But man oh MAN was that mare good in bed. I'm telling you, there ain't no goin' back after you've-"

"Easy there, cowboy." Colton laughed at Johnny slowly slipping into his usual Southern drawl when he got excited or worked up. "I get the idea, but I was just curious. I doubt I'll be here long enough for getting with her."

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Who in particular?" He looked back at his wife and Rainbow Dash walking into the barn. "Her? You serious?" He nudged Colton playfully. "Go get her, brother. Rainbow Dash is a pretty awesome mare. I went on a date with her and Applejack once, and somepony I'd rather not talk about..." He grumbled, remembering the bitter details of how Rainbow Dash had actually shown up with the one and only stallion Applejack had been with besides him.

Colton only smiled. "She's cute, man. I'm not even gonna deny it." He thought about her for a while. It would be nice to at least get to know her.

"So, enough of the personal talk, let's talk about you." Johnny said. "What do you do for a living?"

"Oh, well..." Colton began. "I'm a pilot."

"So...what do you think?" Applejack spun around, her hair now undone from the braids and spilling down her shoulders. But what she was really trying to show Rainbow Dash was the newest addition to the farmhouse. A beautiful bedroom with a queen-sized bed sat right in the middle of the back wall and was surrounded by a dresser, nightstand, hat-rack with workboots sitting in pairs along the wall, and a small crib fit for a newborn foal sat perfectly on the opposite side of the room. Rainbow Dash took a minute to let it all sink in. Wow, they're serious. Rainbow Dash thought to herself before she opened her mouth.

"I like it, and I'm really happy for you, AJ." She grinned reluctantly. "It's just...you're..." Rainbow Dash would never admit it herself, but part of her was scared she would lose her friend like this some day. Applejack had never been one for dating or just casual encounters, she had always been looking for a more long term interest. She had turned down many of RD's suggestions for a mate, especially one-nighters, because she hadn't wanted to let that get between her and her family and friends. But then Johnny came along and AJ just had to up and fall in love with the guy, and to top it off they were married with a foal on the way now. Rainbow, in a way, was just scared that their friendship would end.

"You think this is gonna mess with our friendship?" Applejack said bluntly. Wow, talk about a mind-reader. RD thought to herself and chuckled a bit. "Rainbow, you know ah ain't ever gonna stop being your friend. You know that. But ah am going to be a mother and a wife while ah'm at it. Don't think of me as ending our friendship, ah'm just sharing it with a few more ponies. Nothin' to it." She beamed. She was right, despite the fact that she'd likely be a lot busier when the foal came, but AJ would always be her best friend. No matter what happened, she knew Applejack wouldn't leave her no matter what. "Now, about this Colton guy, you think you're gonna get with him?"

Rainbow blushed. Yeah, she found him cute and all, but she hadn't given it any more thought than that. "Well... He is kind of cute, and he's a natural flier. I mean even in the human world he's a freakin PILOT, AJ!" She grinned.

"Sounds like ya'll got more in common than me and my stallion." Applejack laughed, sitting on the bed motioning for RD to join her. "Well, why not? You keep tellin' me that you haven't gotten laid in quite a while. What's stoppin' ya?" Rainbow Dash blushed furiously before pushing AJ playfully, albeit a little too hard. "Hey! No pushing the pregnant mare, here." Applejack giggled.

"Applejack, that mare is long gone, ok?" Rainbow said confidently, though with a slight hint of shame in her voice. There had been a time when Rainbow Dash had been considered by many ponies to be a bit too promiscuous with her body and behavior. Rumors spread like wildfire every time she went on a date and was seen the next morning coming out of a different house. Sure, Rainbow did have a few partners, but despite this she didn't want to be an easy score anymore. That mare was long since buried after the incident with Thunderlane. "I want a meaningful relationship, not a one-night stand or somepony just in it for sex. I want.." She tried to find the words. "I want what you and Johnny have, ok?" Applejack wrapped one foreleg around her friend's neck and smiled towards her.

"Ah understand, Rainbow, and ah'll help you if ah can, but you gotta do me a favor." She smirked. "If ah go into labor any time soon, rush me to the hospital, got it?" She laughed. "That'll be payment enough for finding a mister right for ya." Rainbow punched her in the foreleg and chuckled.

"Good one, AJ." She grinned.

The stage was set and the food had been placed on the tables as Colton and Johnny laid down the last of the supplies. "Looks like the Apples are showing up early this year." Johnny pointed towards the dirt road. He could make out Apple Fitter, Fiddlesticks, and Braeburn galloping down the road towards the field they were setting up in. "Hey, ya'll! Glad you could make it!" Johnny yelled.

"Wouldn't miss it, Johnny, or should I say 'cousin?'" Apple Fritter said as she nudged him. "Who's this guy?" She pointed at Colton.

"That's a friend of mine, he's helping out with the reunion this evening."

"Oh, well any friend of Applejack and her husband is a friend of ours. We Apples sure do love making new friends. I'm Apple Fritter, this is Braeburn for Appleoosa and Fiddlesticks from up in Canterlot." Colton lowered his head and smiled.

"I'm Colton Miller, nice to meet you, Miss Fritter." He smiled at the now slightly blushing mare. Hey if things didn't work out with Rainbow maybe he'd have a shot with this one, he thought to himself.

"Nice to meet you, sir, but we've got a bit of a problem. Bushel couldn't make it this year due to an injury on our orchard up north." Fiddlesticks said sadly. "We're going to have to cancel the performance." Johnny was shocked, he had been planning this since his marriage to Applejack.

"Wait, we have someone." He turned to Colton and led him off the stage. "Hey, can you play guitar?" He asked bluntly.

"Uh, I did band in college before going to the Air Force Academy, why?"

"The Apple Family is hosting a country music festival at the same time as the reunion this year. I...kind of mentioned the idea to drum up some business for the farm, not to mention it turns out Earth ponies naturally love country, especially the kind from out world." Johnny was speaking fast, one could tell he was excited. "So, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind playing a few songs. Just three or four and then we're done, what do you say?" Colton didn't know what to think. He was good on the guitar, but he never really played in front of anyone, and with hooves it was going to be even harder.

"Uh..." He looked down at his front hooves.

"Don't worry, it'll come to ya. You in?" Johnny stretched out a hoof to meet his.

"Ok, but if I embarrass myself, don't say I didn't warn you!" He bumped hooves and smiled before grabbing the guitar propped up against the stage. It felt weird, but he managed to slide the little band that held the guitar pick around his hoof and held the guitar in one foreleg.

"You boys doin' alright?" Applejack and Rainbow Dash came trotting towards the stage.

"Wow, you guys went all out this year." Rainbow Dash said, admiring the rows of seats and spread of awesome food just waiting to be eaten.

"A few problems, but we found our guitarist for the evenin." Johnny smiled.

"You play?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "You sure you can do it?"

"Yeah, I think so." He said. "Might be a little rough at first, but it should work."

"I like it rough." She winked. Was she coming on to him? "Haha! The look on your face right now." He felt a little hotter as the mare was just a few inches from his face. "I play a bit of the piano myself, but I'm not that great." She said. "I know you'll do fine, Colton. Knock 'em dead." She smiled to him.

"Ok, come on you two, time for rehearsal." Fiddlesticks motioned for the two to get on stage as Johnny reached for his banjo resting by the stage.

"Duty calls." He kissed his wife, Applejack, for good luck before jumping up onto the stage. "Love you, honey!" He grinned as he adjusted the mic. "Coming, Colton?" He motioned for the Pegasus stallion to join him.

"Don't I get a kiss, too?" He chuckled as he stuck his cheek out. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes before kissing him quickly on the lips, forcing an embarrassed reaction out of him.

"Get up there, slowpoke, before I have to resort to more drastic methods of motivation." She winked at him again before turning around to sit beside Applejack, flicking her tail in an attempt to flirt. Without thinking Colton jumped onto the stage so fast that he nearly landed on Johnny, but quietly walked to his spot.

"Hey Colton, first one up is Wagon Wheel. You know that, right?" Johnny said. How could he not, Colton loved Country music as much as the next cowboy, and Old Crow Medicine Show was one of his favorite oldies. "Take us out, big guy." Colton took a deep breath and stood up clumsily on his hind-legs and began to strum the guitar. What he expected to be a cacaphony of hellish noise was actually what he wanted to play. He was amazed at how well he was doing, despite trying to play with hooves. Was it some kind of magic? No, he didn't think so, but he liked it. After a few measures the other band members joined in, and the song started.

Heading down south to the land of the pines

I'm thumbing my way into North Caroline

Staring up the road and pray to God I see headlights

I made it down the coast in seventeen hours

Picking me a bouquet of dogwood flowers

And I'm a-hopin' for Raleigh, I can see my baby tonight

"Wow, he's not bad." Applejack said. Rainbow Dash only kept staring up on stage as the other Apples continued to set the rest of the decorations up.

So rock me momma like a wagon wheel

Rock me momma any way you feel

Hey momma rock me

Rock me momma like the wind and the rain

Rock me momma like a south bound train

Hey momma rock me

Colton was smiling away as he continued the song. Here he was, a pony, and playing the guitar like he'd been doing it every other day. He could feel his memories slowly returning from the moment he set foot, or rather hoof, on that farm and he loved it.

[bRunning from the cold up in New England

I was born to be a fiddler in an old time string band

My baby plays a guitar, I pick a banjo now

Oh, north country winters keep a-getting me down

I lost my money playing poker so I had to leave town

But I ain't turning back to living that old life no more]

They kept playing, and when they hit the second chorus Colton was pretty much into it. "Take it, Colton!" He heard Johnny shout over the band. Colton didn't think twice, he stepped up to the mic and sang in his best country accent.

Walkin' to the south out of Roanoke

I caught a trucker out of Philly had a nice long toke

But he's a heading west from the Cumberland gap

To Johnson City, Tennessee

And I gotta get a move on before the sun

I hear my baby calling my name and I know that she's the only one

And if I died in Raleigh at least I will die free

"Rock me, mama like a wagon wheel. Rock me mama any way you feel." Rainbow was singing right along, her face practically lit up with excitement as the song came to and end as the last chorus was sung. When the song finally ended the ponies that were there cheered loudly and the field rumbled with applause. Even a few ponies who weren't Apples had shown up just to hear the music. Colton was happy, he felt like he was starting to get used to his life as a pony. He still wanted to go home, of course, but despite that he was enjoying this world of Equestria.

"Applejack?" RD finally said.

"Yeah, RD?"

"You don't have to find me a mister right anymore." She said, almost mesmerized.

"Oh, why's that?"

It felt like ages before she spoke again, her eyes still fixated on the Pegasus stallion holding the guitar and smiling as he looked down at her. Their eyes locked for what seemed like forever until she finally broke the silence between her and her friend.

"i think I may have found him."

Dreams and Confessions

"Oh yeah! I whooped your ass good!" Britt cheered as Colton dropped his Xbox controller in frustration. "What's wrong, boy? Can't take the heat?" She knocked his hat off his head while he playfully struck her shoulder.

"Ok ok, you won that round, Brittany. Good game. Though next time don't hog the Banshee, got it?" Colton laughed. He recalled how in their previous match she had spent the entire game flying around in a Banshee killing him 3 times for every kill he'd receive. He had to admit that it got annoying, but he loved playing video games with his best friend.

"'Brittany?'", She said in a tone that he could only describe as confused. "You haven't called me by that since we were in high school in JROTC."

"Oh, I haven't?" He smiled. "Well, Brittany, it's getting late. Maybe I should-" He didn't get to finish before he felt a set of lips pressed against his firmly, knocking him backwards onto the couch. At first his eyes went wide in shock, focusing only on the woman he'd known for years, her eyes closed and breathing heavily as she kissed him, then he began to relax a bit as he felt her move closer and closer.

"Wait-" She gasped and quickly buttoned back up her shirt that she had just discovered had been undone. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She said in a hushed voice. "You just got out of a relationship, and it's been sooo long since I've been with anyone, and I just-"

"Britt, it's ok." He held her hands in his. "I think..." This time it was his turn to get closer. This was his best friend in the entire world. She knew how badly his ex had treated him, how he had only stayed with her out of fear of the lies she could spread about him. And she was the only person on this base he could trust completely. "I think we both need this." He kissed her next. She immediately pulled him to the bedroom with her, their lips never once breaking contact, and shut the door behind her.

Colton awoke with a pounding in his head that he hadn't felt since he had been hungover once in LA. He wondered if he had done anything he might regret as he searched around for his clothes, hoping he didn't end up naked next to someone's girlfriend again with his wallet missing. Granted, that had been a fun night, but his superior's didn't exactly look kindly on his funds being depleted within a day.

It took only a few seconds for his to realize where he was. On a couch in a beautiful old-fashioned farm house with a bottle of hard apple cider on the nightstand behind him. He chuckled at the thought of passing out on cider, thinking the rumors of airmen being lightweights were true after all, but he didn't let it bother him. He smiled as he sat up, his head slowly calming down as he set his hooves upon the floor.

Hooves.

He grumbled when he saw them. He couldn't help but wonder when he'd get to become a human again. Colton wasn't exactly happy with being a horse, but he didn't exactly mind it either. It'll be ok, he thought to himself as he stretched his wings out to each side. He had to admit, he loved having wings. Becoming a Pegasus was probably the best thing that could happen to him coming to this world. Considering he was most comfortable in the air and flying as opposed to the possibility of being a grounded regular Earth pony. Of course, some of the ponies he met at the party prior to his drunken stupor were pretty cute. He even had a pretty decent conversation with a younger one named Apple Fritter. She wanted him to sneak off with her badly, but Rainbow Dash had kept a close eye on him most of the day.

He thought he should go find her, but one look at the clock told him it would be best not to. "2 AM in the morning?! Wow, she's definitely in bed by now." He sighed as he trotted down the hall to his left looking for a bathroom of some kind.

"...telling you, this time it's different." He heard a voice coming from another room. He looked down the hall and saw a bedroom door cracked open with light spilling out of it. Curiosity killed the cat, as it was said, but he didn't really care much at this point.

Sounds like Rainbow Dash, he thought to himself as he carefully peered through the crack of the door. Two ponies sat on the bed together, one a large stallion with a red coat and a large apple for a cutie mark, and a cyan Pegasus with rainbow hair. The stallion must be AJ's brother, he thought.

"How do you know, Dashie?" The stallion spoke. He had a very deep voice, almost monotone.

"I just do." She said. Her voice sounded sad and tired, almost as if she were deep in thought. "My past... I don't like it. I've made some mistakes, but I don't wanna do little flings or just 'have fun' anymore, you know?" She sighed. "I want what AJ has, a stallion who looks after her and cares for her. I want it so bad. Just to settle down and be a wife and mom, no more crazy fast lifestyle. I want..." She broke off, looking into the red stallion's eyes. Big Macintosh had always been there for her. They had even dated for a while and sometimes Rainbow Dash wished that they still were. "I want a good life. I'm a Wonderbolt, I'm the element of Loyalty, I'm one of the best fliers in Equestria. Do you know what I'm not? Somepony worth keeping." She said, her voice almost breaking.

"Dashie.." He put a hoof around her. "You are. You're one of my best friends."

"Not what I meant, Big Mac. I want a pony I can make love to one minute and argue about what to cook for dinner the next before chasing them out of the house with a frying pan." Big Mac stifled a laugh at the visage of RD chasing some stallion out of a house with kitchenware. "I had a taste of that with you, but I want it to last for good."

Colton's heart sunk. His best friend had told him the exact same thing the night before he was shipped out to Colorado, and it hurt bad when he heard this young Pegasus say it. His father had always taught him to treat women well, to treat them as they should be treated. He didn't know about Equestrian society, but he had an idea of what to do to make her feel better.

"And then this Colton guy shows up, and oh boy he's just..." Colton turned back around at the mention of his name and kept listening, nearly bumping the wall. "Amazing. Did you see him on the guitar? And the way he looks at me and smiles at every little thing I say? Not the creepy kind of smile, but the 'oh Celestia you're hot take me now' kind of smile. It's almost like..." She smiled slightly. "Like somepony thinks I'm special."

"Oh, and I wasn't special?" Big Mac nudged her playfully.

"Hey, you were! It's just you know why we broke up, and I don't want to wreck our friendship again." She kissed his cheek. "I thought you deserved better than a slut, you know?"

"Rainbow!" He said loudly. Colton winced at the word. "You had sex, big deal. We had sex, it wasn't-"

"Special? Of course it wasn't. I was your first, but you were far from mine." She said almost painfully. "I'm sorry..." She noticed the pain in Big Mac's eyes. "I'm just going to go-"

She didn't get a chance to finish. A set of lips found hers as she felt her wings unfurl and fold around the stallion beside her. "You're beyond special, Rainbow. I want you to know that." He said as he smiled. "I wish you all the luck in the world with Colton." She smiled back, a slight blush coming across her face now. There was a reason she stayed his friend, he was there for her in ways no other pony could. And Colton knew it. He wanted to be there for her. Part of him saw a bit of his best friend in her, maybe a little more.

Yeah, he knew what he had to do.

Author's Note

Holy...freaking...crap. It's been a long time.

Enjoy!!!