A Stoner In Equestria

I wake up only to find that my face is firmly smashed against the dirt. Groaning as I get up, I begin to curse the sun as the morning light hits my eyes. Now normally you would see bodies, trash, and a stage after a night like last night. Though, I only see a clear field.

Oh fuck. I've been roofied. Nononono, I DONT WANNA LOSE MY ASS VIRGINITY. Wait a moment, it doesn't feel like I fell down a flight of stairs so I should be good. I hope.

Now let's do a check list to make sure nothing is wrong or missing. My weed, check. My knife, check. My clothes, check. Other then my booze nothing's missing. Well one thing is missing. Where the fuck is that asshole Jeffrie?! I swear if he left to go bang that blonde and left me stuck here, with no way home. I'm going to fucking steal his car and drive it into a lake.

Well I better look for a town to try and bum a ride. Speaking of which. Where is the road that leads to town? Maybe up on that hilltop I can get a better view of the surrounding area. When I reach the top I see to my left there is a forest. Haha NOPE. Along my right I see an apple orchard with a village farther out.

I'm not sure, but it seems medieval, and considering I said village it's pretty small. In the middle  of the town there is what looks like the city hall. Which is the most modern since its the only one with metal roofing. Oh god if I've come across a LARPing convention I'll kill my self now.

It seems like the easiest way to the village is through the orchard. God I hope I don't get shot by a redneck farmer for trespassing.

I begin to enter the orchard as I hear my stomach growl. Damn, I wish I had something to eat right now.

*Clunk*

"Son of a bitch." I muttered as I rubbed the back of my head.

Looks like my prayers where answered as I stare at the shiny red apple with minimum bruising despite landing on my head. I'm sure who ever owns this farm won't mind if I eat a fallen apple. As I reach down to the apple I hear.

"Get away from my apples!"

"Whaaaa."

And with a flash of orange I'm lying on my back. Blurry-eyed I look around to see what pelted me  only to see an orange horse wearing a Stetson. Wait what?! Only for this odd horse to walk up and with another flash of orange, And the resounding sound of hoof to face. I'm back, to the black void, not conscious of what goes on around me.