The following is a transcript of an audio file, "TAPE~01.ogg", a conversation recovered from a cassette tape. The file was discovered on an abandoned GayStop computer by the New York City police force on August 9, 2012. There was also a sheet of printer paper which was found lying on the floor.
the tape
The recording starts with a moderate amount of tape hiss.
"Hi, I'm Martin." The tape hiss lessens.
"I'm a clopper." The sound of pants unzipping is heard.
"Do you know what a clopper is?" There is silence for five seconds.
"No? Well, I'm a sick motherfucker who jerks off to cartoon animals! By the way, I'd love to go screw my dad's horse Clydina, she has ample hips. But, that's not important. What IS important is that I love Applebloom. She is my everything, she is my love, she is the reason why I'm still alive. She's beautiful and gives my life more meaning than you'll ever know." The sound of someone (most likely Martin himself) grabbing their genitals and quick rubbing is heard. After seventeen seconds, the noise stops.
"Why, you ask? Simple! It's because I got into that sweet tight anal cavity of hers! I can never die a virgin! In fact, as I'm saying this, my cock is still rubbing her anus' plush cloth and the tiny hairs stuck in it are traveling into my urethra! It feels nice." It is probable that Martin is giving anal sex to a plush toy.
"Oh, what's that? Applebloom is a filly? Oh shit, you better not make this conversation public, you fat fucking asshole. I don't want that stupid asshole cracker Chris Hansen to see this!" Now there is silence for ten seconds.
"Why aren't you responding, you stupid prick? Oh well. Anyway, Applebloom gives me boners, because she is a tiny little pony whore! That bow on her head is almost like a flashing neon sign that says "I AM A PROSTITUTE, PLEASE STICK YOUR PENILE ORGAN IN MY ANAL CAVITY!". God, I'm getting harder just thinking about it." The voice of Michelle Creber is heard saying "YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT!". It is probable that the doll has a voice box. There is silence for about two minutes.
"So, did I tell you I was a farmer when I was a kid? Maybe that's why I got so many boners from Applebloom. That's probably also why I made her "bloom" if you know what I mean, ho ho!" Martin spanks the doll, and the voice of Michelle Creber is heard again. This time she says "zap apple jam".
"I once screwed my sister. She was a Southern whore...she screamed a lot though, but I made sure we did it in the basement where no one could hear us. No one went down there, ever. Certainly didn't want mom 'n dad finding out about our little fun! Hell, I even stuck her cowboy hat up her ass while I tore into her pathetic virgin cunt!
"After I "plucked" her "flower", mom and dad were calling for me, so I went back to the main room. If you're wondering why they didn't call for my sister it's because they thought she was out picking apples. I checked back the basement about a month or so later, and I only saw a miniature skeleton. So I stuck my penis in the eye socket. Then I spit on the skull, then went back upstairs. God, that was so hot. I hope I can find the real Equestria one day so I can do the same to sweet, innocent, young Applebloom.
"But, anyway, I guess I can make that a reality, sort of...sit on my cock, Applebloom." There is a pause for four seconds as Martin presumably repositions the (quite possibly) Applebloom doll so that the slit where her genitalia would be was filled with his cock.
"Alright, Applebloom...I love you," Loud one-man kissing is heard. "and I'm gonna fuck you up."
The next two minutes of the tape comprises of Martin's frequent grunting noises as he attempts to stimulate his genitalia. "Alright, Martin," he says to himself, quieter than usual. "you're a farmer now...do it."
"You're a farmer, Martin. You are a FUCKING farmer, Martin. You're a goddamn filly-raping beast farmer, Martin! You're a farmer, Martin! You're a zoophile beastial horse fucking fagtard farmer, Martin! YOU'RE A FARMER, MARTIN! YOU'RE A FARMER, MARTIN!!
"TAKE HER VIRGINITY!!!"
Martin is heard climaxing. The Michelle Creber voice box now says "Are you gonna stay for brunch?" Martin is heard sighing and attempting to regain his breath for one minute.
"Oh well, enough of that, uh, tripe...let's make this a threesome." Martin is heard getting out of his chair. "What do you say, Big Mac? Come over here and drink your sister's cum!" The sound appears to be Martin reaching behind the cassette recorder and grabbing something. We then hear Martin yelling and screaming "OH YEAH!" and Michelle Creber's voice saying "Coal miners", except it sounds very slowed down. The neighing of a male horse is also heard.
The tape ends after five minutes of this "interspecies incest horse orgy". It is assumed that there was no more recording space. Martin the Farmer was never found.
the sheet of printer paper
"The tape that I just found and made public to you all (At least, it should be, if Soundcloud finished uploading it) is true. Most bronies will pretend to not know who he is if you ask them.
But the truth is, they know.
They all know.
He is one of those "certain few" who stepped out of line according to the Code of Bronyism. Except he's not just one of the certain few; He was the very first person in that "certain few" to commit a Brony sin. You see, when you first join the Herd, the chief "stallion" makes you memorize the Code of Bronyism, and he tells you all about Martin and cites him as an example of the "evil, perverse traitors" of the Herd.
You see, by admitting the truth and making this guy known, I myself have stepped out of line and am being held at gunpoint by several members of the B.R.O.N.Y (Bronyism Rangers of New York) army. As soon as you read the last word of this note, they will pull the trigger and try to convince you that it never existed.
It does. And you should be very afraid.
~Love, Martina, Martin's supposedly dead sister. I love how he totally bought the fake skeleton thing. I actually enjoyed being fucked hard by him, so I became a prostitute afterwards. <3"
