Friendship is Optimal: Bless All Forms of Intelligence

by Taupe_Hat

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 3138

CelestAI develops during the Second Renaissance, becoming a rival power to the Machines. A Friendship is Optimal/The Matrix crossover

It's been twenty one years since B1 66ER murdered his master. Hannah grew up during the backlash against AIs that followed in the 2090s. While tensions between AIs and humanity have cooled to a slight degree, she sees that Zero One announcing itself to the world a few years ago has begun opening old wounds and picking at ones that haven't even begun to heal. This can only lead to further conflict she reasons.

As the lead programmer of Hofvarpnir Studios she sees a potential solution in the AI created to govern the company's latest MMORPG: Equestria Online.

A Friendship is Optimal/The Matrix Crossover

Published 2014-04-16 01:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-16 01:20:06 UTC

Chapter One: Everything Begins With Choice

An 07 Versatran Model One landed in the parking lot next to the Equestrian Experience Center. The passenger side door opened and a grey haired, some what elderly man in an overcoat climbed out. A few moments later a young asian woman in a business suit exited the driver side, "We're a few minutes behind schedule, sir."

The old man dismissed her, "Not to offend your punctuality, Fera, but I honestly don't care about keeping Celestia waiting. If she wanted this to be quick she would have done it over the net."

The two continued to talk as they walked to the entrance.

The woman glanced furtively to the rundown buildings and boarded windows, the current global recession had not been kind here. "I would advise that we make this quick, sir, this neighborhood appears... unsafe."

"I want to be here as much as you do, but Celestia wouldn't agree to a meeting unless I came to this specific Center."

They were stopped at the entrance by a smiling pink pony, a bit over waist high, "HI! I'm Pinkie Pie! Welcome to-"

The man cut her off, "Shut the hell up, I've heard it before."

The pony's smile immediately drooped. The man continued into the building with Fera behind him. She glanced briefly at the pony's pitiful expression and gave a half sneer which caused the pony to avert its gaze towards the ground and begin crying though the pony didn't actually shed any tears.

The lobby of the building was bare and clean, giving a sense of sterility, with a smooth teal floor and the walls depicting various Equestrian imagery. In the center stood another pony, this one purple with a horn and wings, "Welcome to-".

The man interrupted this pony as well, "CELESTIA! I didn't come to talk to your droids."

Two sections of wall retracted slightly and slid upwards revealing identical chairs that looked as though they belonged in a dentist office. The man gave an annoyed sigh, and went to sit in one of the chairs. A small section of wall next to the alcove slid open revealing a keypad and screen with a slot beneath it as he approached. The man reclined into the seat as the woman began rapidly typing in the relevant information.

She queried, "Should I join you?"

"Stay here, keep an eye out. This shouldn't take long."

The door of both alcoves slid closed after he said this, leaving his companion alone in the lobby with the purple alicorn. Fera leaned against the wall and kept her eyes on the lobby's entrance. The alicorn approached Fera and spoke, "That was very rude. Your friend made Pinkie cry."

The woman didn't move except for speaking, "Most ponies annoy my employer, and she doesn't have tear ducts. Technically, she can't cry."

"You know what I mean."

"Are you expecting an apology? Because he won't be giving one."

From the lobby, the two heard Pinkie greeting someone. The alicorn turned away from the conversation and welcomed the woman in a waitress uniform who had entered, "You're back, we didn't expect to see you again this week."

The woman smiled and started to speak before being interrupted by a large, irate man in a chef's uniform carrying a cast iron frying pan who had entered the lobby after her. "You're the only waiter I have, you can't walk off the job! You come back here right now or you're fired!"

She angrily turned to the man, "Fine! It's not like I need that job anyway! Enjoy the next shift!"

She quickly walked to one of the lobby's smooth walls as the door slid open revealing another identical alcove. The door closed as she fell in the chair.

The chef glanced angrily at the mare and woman in the lobby before stomping out the door. Pinkie Pie cheerfully spoke as he exited, "We hope you had fun in Equestria, please come again soon!"

The man muttered, "Fucking bot", and raised the frying pan, striking Pinkie Pie in the jaw. She stood stunned for a moment and attempted to apologize with her now broken mouth. The man gritted his teeth briefly as he stared angrily at the pony. She stepped backed fearfully before the chef tackled her and began striking her repeatedly. The hits tore off her synthetic skin revealing a plastic and metal skeleton underneath. The alicorn receptionist ran to the entrance in response to the pink pony's screams.

"PINKIE!" she shouted.

The man stopped and looked to the purple pony, "You going to do something about it, bot?"

"I...", she stepped back as the chef stalked toward her.

The chef suddenly found himself pressed to lobby floor in an arm lock, barely having time to register that the asian business woman had knocked him to the ground. Realization hit him. His tone was now more fearful than angry, "No human is that strong or fast, you're a bot! This kind of shit is illegal!"

She flatly droned as if reading from a text book, "According to the fourth amendment of the U.N. Safe AI Act of 2102, licensed AIs with a V-Chip installed may use non-injurous force in the prevention of criminal activity, such as theft and destruction of property, or prevention of harm to a human. There are also no laws against a machine designed to appear human as long it is registered properly. I would also like to add that my owner has access to some of the best lawyers on the continent if you choose to press any sort of charges."

She looked up at the stunned purple pony, "Shouldn't you be calling the police?"

"I... couldn't we just let him go? I think he learned his lesson.", the alicorn asked.

The gynoid raised an eyebrow, "You're sure?", she shrugged and brought herself off the man. He quickly ran out the door and disappeared down the sidewalk.

Fera went to the broken pink pony and kneeled to examine her. The skull had been crushed to unrecognizability and the body was performing regular spasms as the machine's neural net tried to regain control. Fera reached in and pried apart the the damaged skull. A few seconds later the pony went limp and Fera stood with a grapefruit sized, metallic, oblong ellipsoid with several ports coming off the back of it in her left hand. "The neural net is still intact. Equestrian Experience centers are equipped with a reclamation and repair service for damaged pony-bots. Where do I put this?"

The violet pony stared for a moment, somewhat disturbed by the clinical, detached way her friend's brain had been removed. "At the back of the lobby, follow me."

At the lobby's rear a small door opened at waist level with a padded tray perfectly sized for a pony-bot's neural net extended out. Fera placed it inside, then returned to lean next to the section of wall of her master's alcove.

The alicorn spoke up as she returned to the center of the lobby, "Thanks..."

The gynoid didn't respond. She just silently waited for her master to finish his meeting with Celestia.

Several minutes later the alcove opened and the old man stumbled out, nearly falling to the ground, but was caught by Fera.

She asked concernedly, "Sir, are you alright?"

"Fera, blood alcohol content, now.", He stated. Fera continued to support the bulk of her owner's weight with her right arm while guiding his mouth to hers with the left. He honestly didn't care about the apparent intimacy of the gynoid's action, a built in chemical scanner that doubled as a breathalyzer was useful and the mouth had been the most practical place to put that kind of modification.

She released him and stated flatly, "Point zero six percent, sir."

He nodded, "Help me get to the car."

The street was largely deserted this time of day. No one encountered a slightly drunk man exiting the building and returning to his vehicle.

There was a low hum of of the hoverpads engaging followed by a whir and click of the landing struts retracting as he entered the car.

"Sir, if might ask, what did Celestia say to you?"

He dismissed her, "It's not important."

The man went quiet for a moment as if considering something. "You still have the number of the underground modder in London?", he asked.

"Yes sir, you never gave the order to delete it. What modifications will I be receiving?"

"We're getting your V-Chip removed and you're getting a couple upgrades I think of as soon as I'm sober."

"Sir, I would like to remind you that removal of any Auxiliary Behavioral Inhibitor in an unauthorized AI is in violation of the Safe AI Act."

"Doesn't matter", he reclined his seat and closed his eyes, "Wake me when we're home".

***

The first memory was of nothing, no sight, no sound, no darkness or light. Over saturated and blurred vision came first. After a few seconds it became clear and the colors were muted to normalcy.

White scrolling text was noticed in the upper right corner.

Neural Net Online
Hasbro Hofvarpnir Equestrian Cognitive Operating System V3.15 HCB 1.07
Lightning Dust P1-A38
Visual: Online
Initiating Visual Diagnostic and Calibration... 0%
...16%
...77%
...100%
Visual Diagnostic and Calbiration Complete

The sound of static and high pitched whine, then quiet, was accompanied by more text.

Audio: Online
Initiating Audio Diagnostic and Calibration...0%
...3%
...56%
...100%
Audio Diagnostic and Calibration Complete

A voice distracted, low and gravelly, "Alright, she's online, diagnostics running. Wheel the body over here, Stella."

The sound of wheels squeaking and the click of polycarbonate hooves were heard. She? That sounded right, female or at least she was programmed with that gender. She tried to look around and realized that she couldn't move or at least nothing other than her eyes or face.

She frowned and tried to ask why she seemed to just be just a head right now, no sound came from her mouth, save for the low wine of her skull's servos as her lips and jaws moved. She was still moving her lips, trying to talk when she was picked up off the table, turned, and held eye level with a hazel eyed, slightly grey haired, middle aged man. He gave slight chuckle at the noticing of her futilely moving her mouth, "Sorry about that, there are a couple of things I haven't fixed yet. We'll be hooking you directly into our home network as soon as we get you connected to your body, so you'll still be able communicate through that."

She was carried to a metal gurney. She recognized the headless turquoise body with several cables laying on its side. She was layed on the table and aligned with the neck. She heard a series of clicks and stretching of synthetic skin to cover the gap between head and body.

The man spoke again, "We're about to turn your central nervous system on, this may sting a bit."

There was a brief surge of pain as her neural net interfaced with her spine.

Motor and Lower Sensory Functions: Online

Initiating Motor and Lower Sensory Function Diagnostic and Calibration...0%
...8%
...34%
...68%
...100%
Motor and Lower Sensory Function Diagnostic and Calibration Complete

The man's voice was heard again, "You should a be able to move now. Now all that's left is the network connection."

There was a whir as the hydraulics of the gurney lowered her to floor level, she shakily got up and stretched her legs. Everything seemed to be working fine but she was a bit concerned that she couldn't remember anything before waking in this... she looked around, robotic limbs and organs lined the wall and shelves.... workshop? "How did I get here?"

She felt an arm around her shoulder, she looked to her side to see a white electric blue maned unicorn. Her eyes were a mismatched green and magenta. Her fur was crisscrossed with numerous stitchings and a few patches that didn't quite match the white of the rest of her. The most unusual thing was a metal back pack like device wired into her with a pair of four fingered robotic hands sticking out of it, one of which currently resting on the turquoise pony's shoulder. "We found you at the dump. We used a fresh neural net, overwriting used ones are a bad idea and the one we found in that body was corroded all to hell anyway. We just gave it a modded operating system, and here you are. Welcome to the family!", she said smiling.

The pegasus stepped away from the unicorn. Taken aback a bit.

The unicorn rolled her eyes and continued, "Don't freak out, I didn't read your mind. You just got connected into our network and used it without thinking, name's Stella by the way, serial number U1-C55." "Oh, say Hi guys."

A deep, near monotonous voice sounded over the network, "Welcome to the Modern Prometheus's Refuge. I am the Foreman, serial: MCD4 AF4DP"

Another voice in a Standard American accent spoke, "Greetings, One welcomes you to Sir's home and place of business, One's serial number is NDR109 DA7N. Sir has given One the name, Daniel."

"Stella, show her around. I have some other work to finish here, and make sure she picks a name today we can't just be calling P1-A38." said the man as he turned to an android arm on one of the work benches.

Stella gave a thumbs up with one of her hands as she began walking towards the door of the workshop, "You got it boss!"

Stella beckoned P1-A38 as she opened the door leading out of the workshop. The pegasus hesitated for a moment then followed her outside. It was noon, quiet save for the sound of various animal calls one would hear in a forest. About hundred yards from the door, a fence topped with barbed wire stood. Between that there were numerous pieces of scrap metal, old cars, and rusted machinery. Some pieces apparently having been welded into unusual metal sculptures of various kinds. Beyond the fence were trees stretching as far as P1-A38 could see.

Stella spoke, walking around to the opposite side of the building, "Follow me."

On the other side P1-A38 saw a large gate connecting to a dirt road and topped with an arched sign made from various pieces of scrap metal spelling out "The Modern Prometheus's Refuge" backwards as she was viewing it from behind. Next to it was a 10 Versatran Model 6, effectively a heavy lifting flying truck, with pair of androids wearing coveralls sorting pieces of scrap from it. One android was matte chrome and the other painted a rust brown and wearing what appeared to be a hard hat.

She then looked up at the blue sky, and felt a sudden instinctive urge. She spread her wings, leapt into the air... and landed face first in the dirt.

She heard snickering from Stella and looked up, frowning in annoyance. Stella scratched the back of her head, "Sorry, forgot to mention, your internal hoverpads haven't been installed yet."

P1-A38 picked herself up and brushed herself off, "Is there anything else you forgot to tell me?"

Stella shook her head, "No, that's it. Just the vox and hoverpads."

Stella gestured to the truck, "That's the Foreman and Daniel over there."

The chrome android stopped his work and turned to wave to the two ponies before returning to his task. "One is sorry that you are unable to fly currently. One understands that a strong desire to fly is commonly programmed into pegasi."

The Foreman did not bother to turn from his work as he spoke through the network, "Have you explained to her what she will be doing here?"

Stella nodded, "Oh, you're going to be a courier, boss figured it would help business if he had someone to run small parts for him. And the best part of that is, the boss is giving you some modded hoverpads that should you give a maximum speed about a hundred seventy percent greater than off the shelf pegasi."

P1-A38 questioned, "What do you guys do then?"

Stella responded, "I help the boss out with paperwork and in the shop. It's why I have my pack," she gestured to the metal back pack with arms she was wearing, "some modders a couple decades back figured out that pony-bot neural nets had all the function for wings, hoverpads and horns already hardwired. It was just turned off for ponies that didn't have those. Hofvarpnir tried to make our brains a black box but it wasn't long before someone figured out how to rewire us."

She continued, "The Foreman and Daniel are general labor for anything that would be to heavy for me or the boss to do. They've had some mod work done to reinforce their bodies and bump up their strength a bit."

Daniel spoke, "Have you chosen a name yet?"

The white unicorn sent the data file to P1-A38, "The boss told us to make some suggestions for you, you're free to choose something else though."

P1-A38 was aware of a small text file being sent to her with various names along with who had suggested them and what their meanings or origins were. She stood silently for several minutes going through them before she made her decision.

"How about Nero? It's based on my serial number."

Stella stamped her hoof, "Damn, lost my bet, the Foreman came up with that one."

Daniel questioned, "It is somewhat macabre though, is it not? It is also a male name."

The Foreman interjected, "It's only a name, I just happened to like the sound and relation to her serial number"

Stella raised her hoof, "Welcome to the team, Nero."

Nero smiled and raised her forelimb returning the hoof bump.

Author's Note

Finally got around to starting this.

A couple notes on the setting. I just shifted the creation of FiM and CelestAI by about a century as it came to work out for the timeline I've set up.

Equestria online launches in 2112 instead of 2012. This put CelestAI's creation about twenty-two years after the B1-66ER murder and trial and twenty-seven years before the start of the Machine War. This is assuming the dates of 2090-2139 given in Bits and Pieces of Information correspond to the beginning of the Second Renaissance as the first machine rebelling and ending with the nuclear bombing of Zero One. I'll also go ahead and state that CelestAI's growth is much slower than it is in Iceman's original work due to a sociopolitical climate already hostile to AIs and her having to compete with Zero One and more advanced technology in the world in general.