Keron is number one in the universe! Probably!
~~~
"Stupid Frog!!!" screamed a red-headed girl. "Get back here so I can kill you!!"
"Never! You'll never take a sergeant of the Keron army alive!"
"Oh please, how many times have I caught you over the past few years?"
Keroro stopped, his eyes squinting and a dark aura coming over him. "All of it was merely to draw you into a false sense of security, even if you catch me today, you'll always wonder if-" Natsume took his monologuing as an opportunity to grab him. "-...darn it."
"What was that about having a false sense of security?"
"Oh? You have no idea whether I let you catch me or not."
Natsume gave an evil smile. "Oh? So you want to do all my chores?"
"What!? All of them?!"
"Yep! And you deserve it too, shoveling all your work onto me and Fuyuki yesterday, I have no idea why he stands you."
"Because we're best friends?" Fuyuki offered, slowly taking the foot-tall alien away from his sister.
"Fuyuki!" Keroro said happily, the air brightening around him.
"Nope! He has to pay for what he did." Natsume growled, grabbing for Keroro.
Fuyuki pulled him away. "Oh come on sis, I'm sure he had something really important to do, right Sarge?"
"Yep! You know it pains me when I toss my work you two, but I had world-shattering business to attend to! A world doesn't invade itself you know!"
"Are you guys still going on about that? You know we won't tolerate it, right?!" Natsume threatened.
"Of course! It's our duty!" Keroro said, jumping out of Fuyuki's hands and striking a pose.
"Your only duty is cleaning the toilet." Natsume growled, bending down and grabbing the Sergeant's rubbery head.
"Fuyuki help me!"
Fuyuki gave a shrug. "Sorry Sarge, even I can't resist her when she's like this."
Keroro drooped as he let Natsume carry him upstairs to the bathroom.
~~~~
"Hey Giroro." Keroro said, exhausted from the chore rush.
"Keroro..." the other frog alien began. "What exactly have you been doing today?"
"hmmm... well, I started off the day with breakfast and watching anime, then I put together models for a few hours, and then I spent the last two hours doing all of Natsume's chores."
The red keronian blushed at the mention of the girl, before shaking his head, this time red with anger he began to shout. "What are you wasting our time with?! We're supposed to be invading the world!! Not building models or doing the chores of pekoponian!"
"Ugh, don't worry about it! We have plenty of time before I have to hand in a report..." Keroro got a nervous look on his face as Giroro stared at him in shock. "...I... I just tempted fate just now... didn't I?"
At that moment a television screen lowered from the ceiling. "Kukukuku...." came the evil laugh that sent chills down the spines of everyone except a literal goddess of destruction. And a highschool boy, go figure. "Sergeant, I just recieved a message from Keron..." the yellow keronian said.
Keroro gasped as Giroro sighed, sitting down on the other side of Keroro's room. "Wh- b-b-b-b.... but I sent in my report on time this month! I'm sure of it!!" His eyes narrowed again as he went into deeper thought. "At least... I thought I did..."
"Kukukuku... well anyway, someone at HQ wants to speak with you..."
"They want to... speak with me?"
"Kukuku... it was a pleasure serving under you sergeant."
"What does that mean?!" But the yellow keronian disappeared from the screen, leaving only his spiral emblem. "Kululu get back here!!" But the sergeant shut up when he saw the emblem disappear as well, being replaced by the Keron Star. "Uh... is this on?"
"Yes." Came an echoing voice.
"Uh, well, might I say hello, and possibly ask why the sudden urge for conversation, command?"
"It's about your most recent report."
"Oh?"
"It was... incompetent." Keroro flinched. "Up til now, we've been putting up with your lousy and late reports because of your father's powerful influence... but management's changed, and your father has given express permission to punish you as we've seen fit after reading one of your reports..."
"You let my dad read my reports?!"
"Of course. Now then, you have one year left, report-free, to conquer Pekopon. If you haven't succeeded we're sending in six more platoons and pulling you out with dishonors. Understood?"
"...u-understood...." Keroro let out.
"Good. Command out. Don't fail us, sergeant. For your sake, and for your platoon."
"Of course, Keroro platoon out."
The screen went out and Keroro let out a sigh, collapsing to the floor. Giroro rushed up to him. "We only have a year! Darn it Keroro, what are we going to do?!"
Keroro frowned. "We're going to have to get serious soon... won't we...?"
"We should have been serious from the get-go!"
Keroro got up. "I need time to think, I'm not to be disturbed for the next hour... understood Giroro?!"
"...Fine, but I better not find out you've been making gundams that whole time, understand!!?"
"...so I can make them part of the time?"
"NO GUNDAM." Giroro said, swiping a model kit Keroro had picked up.
"Fine!" Keroro snapped. "I mean it! A whole hour!"
~~~~
Keroro sat in the bed, thinking. "Okay! New plan! We transform all the cows on the planet into super cows that follow our directions! Then we'll take over Pekopon one fast food chain at a time..." He sighed. "No, that's stupid too...." He rolled over on his bed putting his head in his hands. "ugh... this is serious... now we have a deadline..."
He sat up, summoning a laser rifle from a pocket dimension. "...I could always go to the obvious method... but... how would Fuyuki react?" He aimed the rifle. He was a soldier of course, the gun felt natural. But he had been relaxing so long it felt heavier than he remembered. "No! ...we're not doing that, we have too many friends here... we can conquer pekopon in other ways..."
He reclined again, unable to get comfortable. "...Darn. This isn't going too well." Keroro frowned, getting up and walking a circle around the room. It wasn't like he never thought seriously about his mission before... just... not often. But now HQ threatened other Platoons. He had to do it, this year. Ugh, Fuyuki was going to be disappointed in him again.
He couldn't conquer the planet with so many pekoponians as their friends... even when he convinced one or two of them to help with invading, the rest of their human friends would band together and foil the scheme, leaving Keroro to clean it up...
"Grr.... why should I care what they think!! We just need to keep them asleep a little while, then we could conquer pekopon, and wake them up afterward, beside, asking for forgiveness is always better than asking for permission..." But as he imagined the Hinata family whaling on him afterward he dismissed the idea. Why was it so hard being the leader?! As he sat back on the bed he sat on the remote, turning on his tv. Gundam was on. Keroro stared mindlessly at the tv for about twenty minutes before he realized he had to conquer the world.
He frowned. His first instinct was to put it off til the last minute, or heck, even just wait til the other platoons showed up...
He eyed the gun again. The new platoons wouldn't hesitate in the slightest, it was his responsibility to conquer the world, and to protect his human friends... It was then he realized his position.
He had too much responsibility. He just wanted to relax all day. He didn't want to do chores, he didn't want to conquer the world, he didn't want to go back home, he didn't care about being a hero.
He found that he was suddenly comfortable in the bed. He switched off the television and the lights. Closing his eyes. He didn't want any of it. If he could just sit whenever he wanted and do whatever he wanted, without a care in the world, he'd be happy. He was a lazy oaf, he admitted it.
His ego was bruised by this confession to himself, but he understood now what he wanted. Looking up at the ceiling he felt his eyes close. He just wanted to sleep right now. As he drifted into deep sleep his face twitched with sudden feeling of sunlight on his eyelids and the sounds of birds. But he didn't wake up. He could finally relax.
~~~~
"Sarge! Where are you?" Fuyuki called, walking into the basement that served as the entrance to the Platoon's base. Giroro was sitting cross-legged on the floor, polishing a laser rifle.
"He's in there, thinking about a new invasion plan. We have a deadline now." The frog alien said grimly.
"What?! You mean you guys have to?!"
"Yep."
"Wow..." Fuyuki frowned and walked over to the door. "Sarge! I need to talk to you-"
Before Giroro could stop him Fuyuki opened the door and looked into Sarge's bedroom. "Huh?" Giroro asked, looking around. "Where'd he go? He better not have skipped out on his plans!"
"I bet he's just in the underground base. Kululu?" Fuyuki asked. A screen lowered from the cieling and the yellow Keronian appeared, giving his normal laugh. "Kululu could you find the Sergeant?"
"Of course I can, Kukukuku..." The keronian tapped the keyboard a few times. "...heh?"
"What does that mean?" Giroro asked hesitantly.
"He's not here."
"He ran away?! The coward!!!" Giroro growled.
"no, no, he's not anywhere."
Fuyuki gasped. "What do you mean?... is... is he dead?"
"No, I could find him if he were dead, I mean he's just gone. There one second, gone the next!"
Fuyuki's eyes began to sparkle. This said paranormal all over it!
"Well... do you have any idea of where he's gone?"
"I... kukuku... I think he's gone forever."
"What?"
"I won't bother explaining since you won't understand a bit of it, but if you want I could spew some technobabble. He's just gone, his energy and matter has completely left this universe. I don't know what opened the portal, or how to do it again, and it's already gone so I can't study it. Kukuku..."
"You... you mean he's gone?! And we have no way of getting him back?!" Fuyuki said on the verge of tears.
"Kuku... who knows? He might find a way back on his side. He certainly chose an inconvenient time to disappear."
"What do we tell HQ?" Giroro asked.
"Kukuku, not a problem, they don't want contact for a year..."
"Sarge... please come back..." Fuyuki whispered.
~~~~
"That was a nice nap!" Keroro said, stretching. His eyes fluttered open and he took a look at his surroundings. There were trees here and there, and rolling grassy hills all around him. In the distance was a quaint german village with some mountains further off. "...where am I?" He got up and looked over the hills, seeing colorful figures moving in the town. "Grr... and I was just about to come up with an amazing plan too..." He turned the star on his cap and shimmered as his invisibility activated. He walked over to the town and looked on at the creatures walking about on their daily lives.
They were colorful and varied. They each had their own mark near their back legs. Some had wings, some had horns. Some were just the basics.
He found himself being attracted to a house that was different from the rest, looking like some kind of absurd gingerbread house rather than a thatch roof cottage. He walked inside and found himself in a bakery. His stomach growled as he smelled the pastries.
Looking both ways a sly look came over his face as he reached for one of them. "Hey there!"
he jumped a foot in the air and turned around glaring. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" He shouted, before realizing he was supposed to be invisible.
"Sorry! I'm Pinkie Pie! Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!"
The other creatures in the shop turned toward Pinkie Pie and looked at the spot she was talking to. Not finding anything there they dismissed it as more of the party mare's particular brand of nonsense.
"uh... you can't see me right?" Keroro asked nervously.
"Of course not! But I still know you're there!"
Keroro blinked before switching the star the other way, becoming visible. "Well what's the point in wasting the battery if you can all see me anyway..." he jumped again as the other patrons in the store began to scream and run out of the shop, spooked by the sudden appearance of the alien. A sweatdrop formed on his brow. "I don't think I understand the rules of this place yet..."
"Don't worry! My friends don't really understand either!" She said happily. "So, do you want the cupcake?"
"Well... I don't have any money on me..."
"You're new in town! It's my treat!" She said happily. "Besides! I need to know what you like for your party!"
"Party?"
"I throw parties for everypony new I meet!"
"...every pony?"
"yep! Everypony!"
Keroro let out a sigh. "This is going to be another weird day, isn't it..."
"Yep!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "So what's your name?"
He jumped up onto the table and gave a salute. "Sergeant Keroro of the First Keroro Platoon! Proud soldier from the planet Keron! Here to invade and conquer the planet of pekopon!!"
Pinkie merely kept genuinely smiling at him. "I have no idea what any of that means! Welcome to Ponyville Keroro!"
~~~
3, 2, 1, fire!
