Story Scraps

by Wargame

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random
Length: 1411

Stories I never wrote.

Here are just a few of the stories that I never finished. They remain unfinished, and unedited.

Take the ideas if you like them.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-12 14:50:01 UTC

My Little Striker: Balotelli is Magic

On its own, a ball is nothing. With a goal and a group of people, a ball can become the only thing that matters.

Its in this way that a single person is most similar to a ball.

Inter Milan vs AC MilanAt the San SiroFebruary 2nd, 2014

As Mario Balotelli pushed the ball through Javier Zanetti's legs, and surged past Inter Milan's last defender, Balotelli thought briefly about showmanship, and the value of good entertainment.

As a professional athlete, that was all Balotelli really did, entertain the masses. Balotelli trained, fought, ran, and showed off purely for the delight of the fans. They paid money to watch Balotelli play, and he gave them their money's worth, he would do step overs and tricks to satisfy their love of the game of football. As Balotelli skipped past Inter Milan's goalkeeper, he knew that he was great at what he did. No, there was no need to be modest, Balotelli knew he was the very best of all.

Balotelli decided to stop before the goal line and turn to face the field, smiling to the crowd as he heeled the ball into the net. Balotelli took everything in. The roars of the crowd washing down across the field, thousands of people gathered to pay tribute to the beautiful game. For these people, football was their religion, the San Siro was their church, and the players were their priests.

Turning and running down the touchline, Balotelli lifted his arms into the air as he waves upon waves of cheers crashed across the San Siro. The people had prayed for victory, and like a merciful prophet Balotelli had answered their calls. Sliding on his knees as he came to the corner of the field, Balotelli adjusted himself so that the corner flag rested between his legs, and began to waggle it back and forth as if it were his penis.

As had become routine, Balotelli had scored at the most crucial moment, and felt akin to a physical God.

Twilight can't sleep

Twilight Sparkle was tired.

It was late at night and she couldn't sleep for the life of her. Even though her eyelids were heavy and her body was exhausted from a day of frolicking and playing with her friends she couldn't sleep. Her the summer night was making her bedroom just a little too hot, Spike was snoring just a little too loudly, and Owlicious was just staring at her through it all.

Creeper.

Twilight groaned to herself, she had trouble sleeping more often recently. In fact it had become a regular occurrence ever since she had let Rarity talk her into going to sleep earlier, Twilight had been convinced that she needed to have more energy during the day to have fun. Twilight had decided that having fun with her friends was one of her chief duties now that she was a Princess, the way she saw it having fun with her friends was probably the most important duty of the newly minted Princess of Friendship.

For several hours Twilight's mind wandered about, thinking about how she would spend the day with her friends and what she could do with them. She thought about what she would eat for breakfast at Sugar Cube Corner when she woke up, her afternoon flying lessons with Rainbow Dash, getting a new dress made for her from Rarity, and anything else she that might strike her fancy during the day. Twilight had made a promise to herself to try out as many new things as possible now that she was a Princess. Honestly it had all begun to excite her about tomorrow.

After spending a fair amount of time rolling about in her bed making plans Twilight wound up realizing that her thoughts only served to keep her awake.

Ugh Twilight grunted in her head, which is rather ridiculous actually, I just want to go to sleep already.

Throwing her covers off of her bed, Twilight hoped that she could alleviate the heat that had been keeping her up. Now only under the thin sheets Twilight realized that without the weight of the covers she would have an even harder time sleeping. She had grown so accustomed to the weight of a comforter on top of her as she slept that it felt entirely unnatural to try and sleep on a bed without one.

One day, I'll study what kind of magic they use on these things Twilight thought There's no way that this is some sort of natural phenomenon

Twilight slowly made her way out of her bed, deciding that there was no point trying to master the complexities of the magic in her comforter, and that she would rather get a glass of water and try and cool herself off. It was either that or masturbate.

Since Owlicious was watching, it meant a trip to the kitchen.

Walking down her steps Twilight didn't make a sound to make sure that she didn't wake up Spike, the baby dragon needed his sleep after all. Creeping into the small kitchen Twilight poured herself a glass of water from her sink, she put in a few ice cubes into the glass to chill the drink further.

Twilight stared out her kitchen window as the sheer boredom of not being able to sleep began to overtake her, and that she had run out of things to think about and do. With a simple shrug and a short walk to her secret hiding space for her "toys" under the sink, Twilight's boredom began to subside.

Looking through what she had, Twilight's eyes settled on several playthings that she could use to entertain herself. From the "Time Turner", to the "Thunderlane" there were so many choices. As she glanced around the box underneath her sink Twilight's eyes found her favorite toy, which she jut felt in the mood for tonight. Licking her lips, Twilight lifted the dildo high into the air.

It was the "Little Macintosh". It was about 10 inches long and had three inches of girth, she had long since magically obtained the proportions for the farmer with a similar name and developed her favorite toy. It's not creepy if the two were meant for each other, Big Mac just hadn't realized it yet, surely he'd leave that floozy School Teacher once he figured out who really loved him. Also Twilight was sure Cheerilee wouldn't mind that the librarian kept a replica of her coltfriend's penis in her house, at least as long as Cheerilee didn't know about the dildo she couldn't get upset about it.

Licking her lips in anticipation, Twilight walked over towards her stove before she began her festivities for the night.

Foalhood

Now, I know all of you foals know who Princess Twilight is, the magical Princess who defends Equestria and organizes library books.

Now what you may not know is that I, Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire, used to be her foalsitter back when she was your age. Twilight was always a very smart filly, but she would cry that she was hurt if somepony did so much as touch her, she wanted band-aids for cuts that didn't exist, and she occasionally pooped in the house when she didn't feel like going outside. So in short Twilight wasn't obviously princess material from birth.

Twilight would behave like this for years, until she was a teenager in all honesty.

Now Twilight wasn't always destined to turn out this way, she had a group of friends back when she was just a little filly.

Now, at the age of five years old, Twilight Sparkle was very small for a unicorn her age. Twilight stood about a few inches shorter than Sweetie Belle does now, and had a very thin frame. Twilight's parents would tell her that she would get bigger as she grew older, she just had to hit her growth spurt. Seriously, it sounded like it might happen back then, just look at how jacked her brother Shining Armor was at 9, the colt was ripped enough to grate cheese on his abs before he even knew where to put his penis to make babies. The kid ate the shit out of his fruits and veggies is what I'm trying to get at.

Anyway, Twilight was short, little, and unlike Shining Armor didn't like to eat her peas and drink her juice.