My Sugar Cube

by DragonassasslnGR

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Big Macintosh, Main 6, Applejack, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 10940

Big Mac makes a discovery that sheds some light on his sisters pasting. She was able to keep all these secrets and something he finds tells him everything. What he discovers surprises all of the Apple family.

It has been 2 years since Applejack's death and Big Mac is living his life with Fluttershy, they are expecting a foal soon and need room for it. He finds something in Applejack's room that finally sheds some light on her last years of life. He even unfolds her actual thoughts and where she had gone.

Published 2013-08-23 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-29 15:04:44 UTC

That Dreadful Day

It had been about a two years since his sisters passing, Big Macintosh was now the sole owner of Sweet Apple Acres with his wife Fluttershy and his other little sister Applebloom. It had been an easy year with the help that Luna had sent to them. All the taxes on the land and sales was abolished for them, workers came and lived in the new building in the fields, and Lurking managed everything else in terms of the workers. Big Mac still did his chores on the farm and worked the fields, he just had more help than normally would have.

He was living happily with Fluttershy, after their wedding he had converted one of the old barns to house her animals. It made him happy to see her care for others and even happier to see her smiling. It was about seven months ago that she told him something that would change all of their lives for good. They were expecting a foal soon and they needed room to make a nursery for it. Big Macintosh and Fluttershy had talked about doing that and they came to only one conclusion. They would renovate Applejacks old room that had been left untouched all this time with the exception of keeping it clean, into a nursery.

Big Mac stood outside of the door to her room. He stared at the nob, waiting for Applejack to open it herself and greet him. He sighed and slowly turned the knob and walked in.

The room was nice and dust free even after all the years of being left mostly to itself. The trophies still held their glow and the pictures were all in place. If he didn't know better, Big Mac would still think Applejack was around and slept in her room. Her hat sat on one of the poles on the bed post. Rainbow Dash gave it back after the ceremony was over and she told them the secret she had kept from all of them. It brought a tear to his eye to see it there, it looked so wrong to be left alone.

Big Macintosh began to move things out of the room and into the basement of the house. piece by piece he took out the bed, the dresser, the clothes in the closet, and some boxes that sat on a shelf inside the closet. He moved the awards into a curio cabinet in the living room so they would be on display like they should have been. Lastly he turned his attention to Applejack's old desk. Be pulled a box over to it and began to empty its contents. Papers, photos, and other items filled the box. Big Mac had emptied the two main drawers and looked to the long one just under the table surface. He pulled it back and found it strangely vacant with the exception of a photo of Applejack and Lurking sitting under a tree and having what looked like a nice picnic in one of the fields near the river. Military medals of valor and other feats, a thinly pressed uniform, and a note that was addressed to Big Mac under everything else.

He pulled the items out and placed them in a box and read the note. It was very short but He could tell it was Applejacks writing.

"Big Macintosh,

I will be leaving for a bit, just a vacation with Fluttershy and the others. We are going with Princess Luna to a tourist spot called the Altar Of The Guardians. I will be home in a few days, and I have some big news when I get back. Be sure to let Lurking know that the old barn in the north field needs to be repainted and the moonshine in its cellar needs to be moved to the house.

I love you big brother, I will see you all soon."

Big Mac slammed his head on the desk as he fought back his sorrow. When he hit it there was a cracking sound and the drawer fell to the wooden floor. After a few moments, Big Macintosh went to pick it up, but found the bottom panel had popped out. He looked closer and saw a second panel and something under the fake bottom. He pushed the fake aside and pulled out a diary. It was Applejack's secret journal. Big Mac moved the drawer out of the way and sat in the chair. He placed the book on the desk and opened it to a page with a bookmark in it. Big Mac sat there and began to read the entry.

*******************************************

Today was a very good day for me. I had made a decent profit today with my pies, jams, cider and apples in the market. Eventually I had decided to pack up early because Ponyville was going to get rain and I really didn't prepare for that. It was a last minute schedule change for the pegasi and there new weather forman, Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash was with the Wonderbolts at practice that day and I was told Soarin was with her. The two of them seemed very happy together and Scootaloo was even happier to have parents that loved her.

I waved to her as she pushed a cloud into position and had a clipboard in her mouth. She only managed a brief wave back before racing off the get the next cloud.

"That mare has gotten busy lately. I wonder what she was thinking with the change in weather today." I muttered to myself as I pulled the cart along the road.

The sight of Scootaloo brought back memories of the old days that me and my friends had before Twilight became an Alicorn and Luna had her foals. Five years was a long time ago, All of my friends except Fluttershy had left Ponyville or had found their special somepony.

Twilight was now a princess, but still visited the library every few days. She left Spike to to tend to it most days when she was gone.

Rarity had married a new and improved Prince Blueblood, who had become a better stallion.

Rainbow Dash was married to Soarin, adopted Scootaloo after finding out her parents were dead and she lived in an orphanage, and was the new captain of the Wonderbolts.

Fluttershy was the only one I saw almost every day. Big Mac and her began to see each other after Cheerilee left to another town to teach. He was hurt for a while, but I let Flutter do what she does best and comfort him. They had been together for about 2 years now and the big guy was getting ready to pop the question to her.

Pinkie Pie had been given Sugar Cube Corner from the Cakes on one condition, Pumpkin and Pound Cake would work there for as long as they wanted to. Last I heard about her was that the place was doing better than it had ever done before.

All of them had found something more to life and were happy. I still owned a farm that was doing good and I have a loving family to look after, but I haven't found anypony to love or accomplished a goal that I set out to do. I have done the same thing I have always done for years. If anything, I had grown more and more distant from the others. Life Is the same for me as it had always been, well if you asked anypony besides me.

I smiled at the memories that filled my head. I remember thinking what they think of me after all this time. They have seen me doing the same thing I have always done. If only they could know.

Eventually I walked past Rarity's old shop that was now converted into her sister Sweetie Belles dance Studio where she teaches the art to others. It still looked like it always had on the outside, but inside it had everything anypony would need to learn any kind of dance. She was a master at her art like Rarity, nopony could come close to her skill unless they were being taught by her.

After entering the limits of the town I trotted up the trail that followed the river and to the south orchard of Sweet Apple Acres. A few drips of rain told me that the storm was over head now. I slowed myself so I wouldn't get into an accident as I began to walk up the hill. The path was on the edge of what I would call a ridge that lead to the river.

The trail began to slow me down as I pulled the wagon in the pouring and very cold rain. The path had turned into a soup of water mud and other rocks that rested in it. I was covered in it and the wagon was getting mud caked on the sides and in the wheels. It became harder and harder to pull as I got closer to the farm house. The river was as loud as ever with the excess water being put into it rushing by me. Without warning, the ledge gave way under the right wheel of the wagon and it pulled me down to the raging waters below.

The wagon busted through bushes and branches as I furiously slammed my hooves into the ground, desperately trying to slow and eventually stop the wagon before it took me into the river. Broken branches and rocks slammed into my legs and sides as I was pulled down. One branch imbedded itself into my right hind leg and broke from the plant it came from. It was through and through my thigh as it kept catching on things. The pain was... in Twilights words, agonizingly brutal. There was a loud snapping sound as the branch broke my leg from the inside as the bone stuck out of my skin. The pain caused me to scream at the top of my lungs in agony. The wagon hit a bump and jumped into the air with me still strapped to it and swinging my hooves around in the air, trying with all of my might to grab the ground. Then it splashed into the river and pulled me down, I was devastated to see the light starting to fade from my view. I was scared as I saw the blood from my leg drifting above me and my air quickly running out. I struggled to undo the harness, but the impacts with the rocks had dented the belt buckle. I was stuck, bleeding out, and running out of oxygen. My vision began to fade and darkness hung over my like death himself in the cold waters. The last of my air bubbles drifted upward and I closed my eyes as the cold water swallowed myself and the wagon. I thought about my family and friends, I would miss them all.

Soon after that thought entered my head and I began to choke, something brushed against me and the harness released me from the wagon. I opened my eyes to see a black pegasus with a white mane kissing me and putting air back into my lungs. He began pulling me to the surface of the water as I grew weaker and weaker. My vision was going faster than I thought, the combination of pain and lack of air was making me lose it. We broke the surface of the water and I felt the rain hitting me again, but I wasn't able to take in a breath of air. I was too weak and I felt the water in my body keeping me from taking it. Before long, I felt the shore and the rocks on my back. The pegasus pressed his lips to me again and began to force air into my lungs. I coughed up water before I closed my eyes and started to drift in and out of consciousness. I felt the immense pain in my leg and was becoming weak from the blood loss and air starvation.
I honestly thought that was the end for me.

The last thing I heard before losing consciousness altogether was the muffled voice of my savior as he yelled to me over the heavy down pour , "I won't let you go, I promise!"

************************************************

Big Mac closed the diary and looked over to the pictures that sat on desk beside him. There was a photo with Applejack and black pegasus he had hired to work here at the farm. The day she was brought home by him was one that still haunted him. It was one of the only times that made Big Mac feel useless. He was unaware of his sister being in danger and unable to save her. If Lurking wasn't there, she would have died that day. He still remembered what Lurking had told them about how he had saved Applejack and found the farm house.

********************************************

Lurking was a black pegasus with a white mane and tail and was out on one of his daily flights, the rain made this flight even better. He was just over what everypony in Ponyville called Sweet Apple Acres. He was just over the river now when he heard the sound of something smashing through the brush. It was a wagon and it was pulling an orange mare with it. Lurking quickly sensed the danger she was in and raced to help her. He saw a trail of blood running from her leg when the wagon slammed through a fallen tree. A moment later she let out a scream of pure pain, just before the wagon went airborne and landed in the river.

Lurking closed his wings and entered a nose dive, He landed right where the wagon fell. It didn't take him long to spot the wagon and the orange mare as a trail of blood drifted upwards to the surface. Her struggling started to slow as she lost air. Lurking swam to her and noticed the harness buckle was jammed from being dented from its journey. He hurried to the wagon to find anything that might have helped. It didn't take long for him to figure there would be nothing that could save the mare in time. He swam back to her and swung a leg around one of the ends that connect the strap to the wagon. He braced himself and pulled on the strap attached to the damaged wood. It splintered slightly at his forceful tug. He pulled again, the wood sounded in the water as a muffled cracking. Lurking put all of his might into the next tug. The strap gave way and the orange mare was free to drift down as she closed her eyes and the last of air left her body. He raced to her and pressed his lips to hers, giving her part of his breath before swimming to the surface with her on his back.

He broke the surface and placed her head on his neck so she could take in some fresh air. She went limp over him as he made his way to the shoreline of the river. When he was a few feet from the body of water, he gently laid her out on the ground. He looked over her injuries and saw that she was in very bad shape. Lurking noticed she wasn't taking in air, he opened her mouth and covered her nose before pressing his lips to hers once again and forcing air into her. She opened her eyes and looked into the bright blue orbs that made up his. Applejack's eyes were starting to glaze over as they started to close again. Lurking placed a hoof on her chest and pushed in one, Applejack coughed up a little water before her eyes closed completely.

He looked at her face and called over the rain, "I won't let you go, I promise!"

Lurking looked at her mangled leg, she would bleed out before long if he didn't do something fast. He remembered seeing a cloth in the wagon, so he galloped to the river and jumped in.
He found it in no time and located the cloth and what looked like a satchel that carried several things inside. He put it on and grabbed the cloth before heading back to the surface and to the dying mare. When Lurking got back to her he quickly ripped the cloth and grabbed a few branches that were close by. The black pegasus hastily cleaned them off in the river and placed them on both sides of Applejack's damaged leg. He eyed the bone that poked out from her leg, the sight made him slightly queasy. Lurking swallowed the lump in his throat and gently pushed the bone in so he could wrap the leg with the cloth. After tightening the wrap and securing it, Lurking looked in the satchel and found a rather large bag filled to the rim with gold bits, a few bottles with a black and white swirl imprinted on the glass with different liquids inside of them and a damaged photo. The picture showed the mare he was trying to save with a hat on and a few other ponies. All of them had an apple themed cutie mark on them.

Lurking looked to Applejack and sighed, "Great, now I have to find that hat later. First things first, I need to get you some help."

The large black pegasus got up and gently lifted her onto his back. He minded her leg and carefully walked back up to the path. On his way he saw the hat wedged in between two bushes. He smiled before pushing it up with his teeth and placing it on her head. Soon enough he made it back to the path. Lurking looked both ways in an attempt to find the quickest way to anypony that could help the mare on his back. The left would take him back to ponyville. That would be a thirty minute walk and he wasn't sure if she would last that long. the right held more promise, he could already see the makings of a house roof.

**********************************************

Big Macintosh sat in a chair that was in front of Applejack’s old desk and remembered that night Lurking arrived to the farm house with Applejack. He was eventually told by Granny Smith and Fluttershy what had happened when he was tending to his sister. He leaned back and closed his eyes as he relived that horrible night.

**********************************************

Big Mac was with Fluttershy at the farmhouse making dinner for everypony. Applebloom was helping Granny Smith and Sweetie Belle clean the house. They had planned a surprise for Applejack when she got home with a special dinner in celebration of the farms recent success. They were making more bits than ever and the farm was getting much needed renovations and repairs. Rainbow Dash, Soarin, and Scootaloo had also come over with a cake that Pinkie Pie had made for the small party they were going to have. The party pony had also arrived and was setting up streamers and other party favors with Pumpkin and Pound Cake.

Rainbow Dash walked into the kitchen, "Fluttershy? When is Applejack coming home?"

The yellow pegasus turned around from cutting carrots, "Well, she was supposed to be home already."

"Eeyup" Big Mac added.

Rainbow leaned against the wall of the kitchen, "It must be the rain that is slowing her down. Scootaloo said she saw her leaving the market as she was setting up the rain clouds. She had that old wagon of hers, it must be sinking in the mud."

Fluttershy turned back to the carrots, "Well Applejack is strong, she might be home any minute."

They all heard a knock on the front door, Applebloom walked over to it as everypony went back to their tasks at hoof.

Rainbow tilted her head as she looked to the door, "Are we expecting anypony else?"

Big Mac kept his eyes on Applebloom as he stopped preparing the main course for their meal, "Nope."

When she opened the door to see who was there, Applebloom took a step back and yelled, "Big Mac! Ya need to get over here!"

The red stallion shot up knocking the chair he sat on to the ground and galloped over to the her. Rainbow Dash watched as even he stopped dead in his tracks with an awestruck look on his muzzle. Only a moment passed before he snapped from his trance like state and ushered in a black pegasus with Applejack on his back. Blood ran from a bandaged leg and down his side. Her mane covered most of her face, but Rainbow could tell she was either dead or out cold.

Rainbow Dash looked back to see Fluttershy covering her muzzle with her hooves, The cyan pegasus galloped over to them as Big Mac and the black pegasus began to walk upstairs to Applejack's bedroom.

"What happened to her?" She asked in shock.

The pegasus continued to follow Big Mac, "I was flying by and I saw her being pulled down a ridge that led to the river by her wagon. The ground must have given way from the rain. I had to dive in water to save her from drowning, but I'm not sure if that was enough.

Her leg is broken and the bone has busted from the skin, I'm afraid she will bleed out. I did my best to help with her leg, but I'm not a doctor and I don't know here the hospital is in this town.
I was hoping you could help."

Applebloom galloped to his side and looked to her sister, "Ya'll saved Applejack? But how did ya know she lived here?"

Lurking looked to her, "She lives here? I just headed to the nearest ponies I could for help, but its good that I got her home then. So her name is Applejack?"

"Eeyup." replied Big Mac.

Big Macintosh opened the door that led to Applejacks bedroom. He turned on the light and Lurking saw all of the medals and trophies on the shelves, the wooden bed and apple themed covers. A desk sat near the window as the rain pounded on the glass. The entire room had a country theme to it with all the furniture and dressers being made of polished maple.
Two pictures caught his eye as Lurking and Big Mac gently placed Applejack in her bed.
One was of Applejack and her friends taking a group picture in the town square of Ponyville.
The other was of too rancher ponies and what looked like a young Applejack with a very large hat on her head that the stallion in the photo placed on her head. It was the same hat that he found in the bush and in the other picture.
Applebloom looked to Big Mac, "I'm gonna go and see if Sweetie Belle will send a message to Twilight or somepony at the hospital to send help."

The large red earth pony nodded to his youngest sister. He looked over to Lurking and motioned for him to leave the room. The black pegasus made no objections, he followed Applebloom down the stairs.

She looked at him with a tear running down her cheek and a warm smile, "Thank you for saving Applejack and bringin her home. Make yourself at home and have a seat somewhere."

Before Lurking could reply, the tan mare galloped off to find her friend. He walked over to a chair in the living room with all eyes on him. The attention made the black pegasus feel uncomfortable. He looked down to avoid any eye contact and just stared at his hooves. He removed the satchel and placed it at his side.

Fluttershy slowly walked over to him, " Um... Would you like something warm to drink?"
He looked up to her, "Oh... um... no I'm fine."

Fluttershy sat on the couch next to the chair and looked over to him, "Well if you are sure... Thank you for saving Applejack. She is a good friend and a loving sister. I'm Fluttershy by the way."

The black pegasus smiled, "I'm Lurking, nice to meet you. So is Applejack your sister?"

Fluttershy smiled, "No, but maybe one day. I'm in a relationship with her brother Big Macintosh. He is the red earth pony that walked you to Applejacks room."

Lurking chucked, "Well he seems nice. What is Applejack like, when I saved her, I noticed the wagon she had was full of things that would be sold or bought at the market."

For the rest of the night the family got to know Lurking and Twilight had shown up with unicorn doctors that wasted no time in helping Applejack. Later on when everypony had left or went to bed Big Mac got to actually talk with the black pegasus.

"So ya saved my sister's life. Ya'll got her here in time and gave her a second chance. Thank ya Lurking." Big Mac said as the two of them walked to the door.

"Don't thank me, I did what anypony would have done. Speaking of doing the right thing." Lurking pulled to satchel off of himself and passed it to Big Mac. "This was one of the only things I was able to get off the wagon when i was looking for something to cover Applejack's leg. It has a few pictures and her bits she made today."

Big Mac only smiled before replying, "Where are ya stayin? Ah want to be able to find ya tomorrow and give ya a proper thank you."

The black pegasus looked to the ground for a bit before reconnecting the eye contact, "I... I have no set place. I'm a wanderer of sorts."

Big Mac tilted his head slightly, "Any job? Family? Friends?"

Lurking shook his head, "I live off whatever I can. I'm all I have, no family."

Big Mac smiled, "Then head upstairs and the door on the opposite side of Applejack’s is the guest room. Ya'll can stay here and If ya want, and ya can start working in the fields with me. Seeing as AJ will be out for a while, there is job that needs filling"

The two stallions nodded and called it a night. They headed up stairs and to their rooms as the moon rose from the horizon.

************************************

Fluttershy walked into the doorway and saw Big Mac sitting in the chair , "Mac, are you alright?"

Big Macintosh looked over to her from the chair as he wiped his face, "Eeyup, I'll be fine Fluttershy. Just found somethin in the desk here."

She slowly walked into the room being mindful of all the boxes. Her body showed her pregnancy. She was about eight months into it and didn't want to have any problems now.

She walked behind the chair then wrapped her forelegs around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she looked over his shoulder at the book in front of him, "What is it?"

Big Mac placed a hoof on one of Fluttershy's forelegs that was wrapped around him, "It's a diary that Applejack had started when she was brought home the night of her accident. Ah just read the first part that told what she could remember before the wagon hit the river. Ah'm goin to keep reading this Fluttershy, Ah want to see what's in here and find out what Applejack was hiding from all of us and why she hid her love with Lurking from everypony."

The yellow pegasus hugged Big Mac, "Do what you need to Mac, Please let me know what you find. I will be in the living room with Granny Smith, she wants to go over the recipes for a new pie she thought of last night."

Big Macintosh gave her a kiss before she left the room. He walked with her up until their bedroom door came up. Big Mac opened the door and placed Applejack's diary on his nightstand then headed back to finish his work in her old room.

Hidden Secrets

Big Macintosh sat in his bed with Fluttershy, who was sound asleep beside him. The large earth pony was unable to sleep himself as he looked to the diary as the moonlight shined through his window and bathed it in its calming light. It could tell him so many things about Applejack that she kept hidden from everypony. Big Mac let his mind wander as he thought about what could have made Applejack choose the path she did, and sacrifice so much. So many questions plagued him, and they demanded answers.

A sudden sound caught his attention, it sounded like hoof steps outside his bedroom door.
Big Macintosh looked over to Fluttershy, she was still fast asleep. The sight of her bliss brought a faint smile to his muzzle, that quickly died. He slowly got out of the bed, as not to disturb his sleeping wife and made his way to the door. The hoof steps were too heavy to be Applebloom's or Granny Smith's, that left Lurking to be the one still up.

Big Macintosh opened his door and looked down the hall. The pony making the noise was on the steps now. He closed his bedroom door behind him as he walked to the staircase. The pony he saw was not Lurking, The pony he saw was looking right back at him. It was his beloved sister Applejack that looked back into his eyes. She broke the eye contact and walked through the door and into the moonlight outside. Big Mac hurried down the steps and out the door in an attempt to follow her.

************************************************

He was out the door in time to see Applejack walk into the fields. The large earth pony gave chase and was right behind her.

"Applejack! Applejack comeback!" He called to her as he got closer.

Applejack just continued to walk and ignore his existence. When he was close enough to touch her, she faded right before his eye. A few feet from where Big Mac was standing, he saw a body an orange mare that was laying on her belly, from in front of him. The was a thick pool of blood and a hole in the back that he could see the blood stained grass under her. The uniform she wore told the earth pony, this was his sister the day she died. He fell to his haunches and let his sorrow get the better of him. When Big Mac looked up from his tears, he was staring right at Princess Luna. The large Alicorn was doing her duties as the Princess Of The Night, she was watching over Equestria.

Big Mac gave a bow before speaking, "Princess Luna, what are ya doing here? Why is Applejack here?"

Luna held a grim look on her muzzle, "I am here Big Macintosh, because there is a dreamer in need of help."

The red earth pony got up and gave a confused look, "A dreamer in need of help?"

Luna just looked at him, "Big Macintosh, you are in a dream. Something has stirred inside of you. Something that has to do with Applejack. Please tell me, what has happened."

He wiped his cheek to remove any tears that remained, "Ah found a diary that ma sister was writin. Ah couldn't help, but read what was in the dusty old thing. It shook some memories loose and told me some things that I didn't even know happened to her."

"She was a good pony Big Macintosh. Applejack was a hero."

Big Mac sighed, "Princess, Ah miss her. She was my sister and she needed ma help, and Ah wasn't there to give it."

Luna walked closer to him, "She gave everything to save all of you, to protect the ones she loved."

"With all do respect princess, she keep secrets from us, from me. She didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on with her. " Big Mac looked down at the leaves that were dancing in the breeze. "She left us and didn't tell me why. I found a letter that was hidden, Applejack was going on a trip for a few days, the same few days she died. Can you please tell me what happened."

Luna took a step back, "Big Macintosh, do you believe in destiny or fate?"

"Ah do."

"Well It was her time to give Equestria a second chance with the cost of her life, a price she gladly paid. As for the book, I call that her way of telling you the story." Luna looked to the sky as her moon hung over head. "I think its time for you to wake up."

Luna Smiled as the world around Big Mac grew fuzzy before fading all together.

*****************************************

Big Mac awoke in cold sweat, shaking violently. That dream concerned him, more so seeing his sister dead scared the large red earth pony. He looked to Fluttershy, she was still sound asleep as the morning sun shined through the window and bathed her in its warm light. The sun was coming up and that meant it was time to work with the other ponies on the farm.

Big Mac kissed Fluttershy's forehead and got up to get something to eat before getting to work. As he got out of bed he noticed the diary was missing from the nightstand. This confused him for a moment as he opened the the doors on it to see if he had placed it inside. The book was nowhere to be found. This irritated him, but he would try and find it after he was done for the day. Trying his best not to wake Fluttershy, Big Mac slowly closed the door of their room and headed to the kitchen. He grabbed some toast and drank a cup of water as he headed out the door to the fields.

The wind was blowing the leaves around and there were no animals in sight, to even a bird chirping. This was unsettling for the red earth pony, it was never this quiet. He continued to walk down the path, he suddenly heard somepony call his name. Big Mac looked around and saw nopony, but he heard the voice a little clearer.

"Big Mac, forget it."

Big Mac spun around.

"You need to forget."

"Who are ya?! Where are ya?!" the red earth pony yelled to the wind.

"Please big brother, forget." The voice died as the wind picked up.

"Applejack?!"

There was no response, only the sound of the tree leaves being pushed around answered him.

Big Mac galloped farther to down the path yelling his sisters name along the way. Before long he saw something that frightened him, the diary was laying in the middle of the path. The book mocked him as it called attention to the area it was in. Faint splotches of blood sat around it, the trees were still, and instead of the moonlight, it was the sun that allowed him to see that this was the spot in his dream that he found Applejack. Big Mac sat there shaking in place as his eyes widened to see the book there.

"Ah can't Applejack, if Ah do, then Ah have failed ya as ya're big brother."

He grabbed the book in his teeth and headed to the fields to start the days work.

***********************************************************************

It was sundown and the Apples had just finished dinner. Lurking, was doing the dishes with Apple Bloom as the others went off to do their own things. Granny Smith and Fluttershy shared laughs as Granny told stories of her exciting and very humorous life. Everypony was off spending their time with each other, everypony except for Big Mac. The large Earth pony sat at Applejack's old desk that now resided in his room with her diary in front of him. A lamp illuminated the room around him and fought back Cassius's shadows that threatened to keep him from Learning the the truth about his sister.
The large red earth pony turned to a later entry that took place when Applejack was back to helping on the farm.

**********************************************************

"I was finally able to get out of that bed after a few weeks. It felt so good to finally stretch and walk, I could swear I had gained a few pounds from not doing anything. Nothing I can't work off in a few days though, I'm sure there is a lot to do for me. Out of everypony that was there for me. He was there when I had my accident and saved me. Applebloom said he was with me every day until I came to and when I did, he was so nice to me.

His name was Lurking and by Celestia, that pegasus was scared that i was going to die. I was too, but he was almost in tears when he saw me open my eyes for the first time. I was out cold for a week straight and my sister told him everything about me. My big brother said that Lurking was now working on the farm, he also said that pegasus didn't have any family to call his own. I can't imagine and I don't want to imagine life without mine.

Lurking was helping take care of me when he wasn't working in the fields with Big Mac. He helped to make my meals and even... fed me at times. I had a few broken ribs and internal bleeding so they had to open me up and fix it. The medicine I was on made me so weak, Lurking insisted on it. He was so kind and loving towards me, I can't help but.... I can't, I don't want to hurt him. I do like the stallion, but I can't with my line of work. That and I barely know him, I can't just trust him on the spot can I?

Somepony is coming so I have to cut the entry short, I hope its not..."

The entry stopped and Big Mac turned to the next page to try and find out who AJ was talking about.

*******************************************************************

"It has been about a week now and I have to leave to help Princess Luna and the Division. I still can't believe i was put in charge of it. Out of all of us, Why me? What is so gash darn special about me? There are others more qualified for this, why would Luna put me in charge, and why am I looking out for Cassius? There is just so much that I don't understand about this, but I do what I was told. I feel a burning in the back of my mind when I am near Cassius. Its like an emptiness that goes on forever, if that makes sense.

I have everything ready to go, I just need to tell Big Mac i'm leaving to Canterlot. I hope he doesn't ask any questions, I can't lie to him or tell him the truth. Princess Luna told me that this job would be dangerous and I don’t need my family involved. She is right, Just a few days ago we had to take down a very angry dragon, we lost two squads to it for a fragment of Nightshade. this job isn't for everypony, that's for sure. The worst part about that loss was, it was my decisions that got those ponies killed. I still hear them calling for help, it scares me at times.

"Where did Ya go AJ? What did the princesses force ya to do?" Big Mac muttered to himself before reading on.

I am gaining popularity with the ponies that I command though. Both princesses say that I am doing a good job and are proud of me.. ha! That sounds like something Ma and Pa would say if they were still around. I wonder what they would say to me if they could see me now. I'm getting off topic here with my memories again, I need to focus.

We have already collected several fragments and ponies that still have Cassius' "gift" in them. That is the good news, the bad is a group of ponies that are calling themselves The Faithless who are after the fragments. Innocent blood has already been spilled for one of them, in the name for a unicorn called, Flamearch. We are creating a massive pony hunt to try and find him as soon as we can before another attack happens. I need to get ready to leave for the trains soon, I think I will leave this book home this time."

****************************************************************

Big Mac looked at the next page and noticed a few drops of stained blood. They were in the middle of the page and it made some of the ink run and a few words almost unreadable.

"Damn it AJ! What else didntcha tell me?" Big Mac cursed at the page.

What other problems did she have? Why did she hide so much from him? These questions burned in the earth ponies mind like a wild fire. The next page gave a different story, rather than that of her secret life, it told of a happier moment.

*****************************************************************

"I came back today and you would never guess who met up with me before my train made it to the station. Lurking had boarded the train and found me, he almost got thrown off too. The first thing he asked me was why I was wearing a shirt with apples on it. The princess gave me it as a cover to my last mission with Night Strike after I was injured from a blast, that was caused by a unicorn firing a bolt that struck near me. I had suffered some bad burns and a fractured rib. I had bandages to cover it, I told him there was an accident on my trip after he found out about the wrappings. I still don't know how he saw them under it."

"That's what happened to ya AJ..? Why didncha tell us!?" Big Mac raised his voice angrily.

Fluttershy soon walked into the room sensing her husbands frustration and spoke softly, "What's wrong Macintosh? Are you alright?"

"Y-Ya don't know Fluttershy, the more Ya read for this book. Why didn't AJ tell me what was going on? Ya let her down, and now she is never comin home. Ya failed my little sister."

Fluttershy walked over and read the entry on the page. Big Mac watched her expression sadden then a smile formed on her face. She looked her husband in the eyes and hugged him warmly.

"Macintosh, if you keep reading the paper, it said that Lurking took Applejack into town and the spent the rest of the day relaxing and having fun. She had done so many great things and met so many ponies in her life. I know you didn't let her down. You could have never let her down, even if you tried."

Big Mac returned the hug, "Ya love you Fluttershy."

"I know and I love you too Big Mac. Do you want to finish that page and join us downstairs?"

"Ya would love too."

Fluttershy smiled and left the room after kissing Big Mac. The large earth pony went back to the page and read what Fluttershy pointed out. Lurking and Applejack did spend the rest of the day together. They went to the park, the fair grounds, and even the markets. The last thing they did was to sit in the Northern fields and watched the transition of the moon and sun. He looked to the last few lines in on the page.

"The day I spent with Lurking was one of the best I have had in a long time. He is so kind, so sweet, so... I don't know if i can continue my duties to the Division like this. I think I have finally found my Special Somepony. I think I love him, but I will need to keep that from my friends and family even more importantly, Princess Luna. I can't let anypony get hurt, if they found out what I have done, what I have to do, I think i will never be able to forgive myself if I fail them."

Big Mac noticed tears stained on the page and a some words written very lightly on the paper. Even with his incredible eyesight, Big Macintosh could not make them out. He rummaged through the desk and found a magnifying glass. The large earth pony positioned it so he could read the words in the faded ink.

"Big Macintosh, I know this book will find you somehow. Know that when it does, I love you all. Whatever happened to me, If I didn't make it home in body, I am still there, and i'm sorry I let you down.

A.J"

Big Macintosh placed the magnifying glass down and stared at the paper for a few moments.
His gaze drifted to a mirror on the wall and he saw a pony with blood red wings, a black robe with a hood, and a red and white mask looking back to him. The red earth pony spun around and saw nothing but his bedroom. Big Mac frantically looked around for the intruder but saw nothing, no way in or out of his room that they could have used without him noticing. After a few more minutes of looking with no luck, Big Macintosh hurried down the steps to see if the rest of his family was alright. When the red earth pony found himself at the bottom, he saw his little sister Apple Bloom and her friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle planning the next CMC meeting for the other members. Lurking was helping Granny Smith with some boxes of things that needed to be put away from the Zap Apple harvest that ended two days ago. Fluttershy was looking out a window with an odd look on her muzzle.

Big Mac rushed over and looked out the same window and saw the pony that was in his room looking back. He could feel its gaze through the white mask as it turned walking away from the farm house. Without hesitation, Big Macintosh galloped out of the house and after it, leaving everypony inside confused

Everyone except Fluttershy who turned and said sternly, "Lurking, go and follow Big Mac please, he might need help and I don't want to see him hurt."

The black pegasus put down the box he had and galloped after Big Mac, "On it!"

***************************************************************

Lurking had only left the house a few minutes ago and had taken flight. Soon enough Big Macintosh was in sight galloping through the orchard at a rapid pace. The black pegasus flew lower until he was side by side with the the large red earth pony.

"Big Mac, what are you doing?"

"Don't ya see it? That pegasus in the black robe was in the house, in my room. It was outside looking at Fluttershy. It has answers that Ah want."

Big Mac picked up the pace and entered a dead sprint that even while flying, Lurking was having trouble keeping up.

"Mac, Fluttershy asked me to help you. I'm with you all the way."

Big Mac was about to reply to Lurking when he was the pony just a bit ahead of them, "There It is!"

Lurking looked ahead and saw the pegasus in the robe, its wings where blood red and larger than his own. The robe covered the rest of its body as it just walked through the orchard.

"Lurking, Ah want ya you catch it. Fly up there and grab him."

"Got it!" Lurking said as he raced to the pegasus.

It stopped and turned to face him, spreading its wings at full length in an attempt intimidate the black pegasus as it entered a defensive stance. It worked on both Big Mac and Lurking, the two slowed down and Lurking landed next to the red earth pony. The two of them stood about 15 feet from the pegasus in the robe and mask. Its green eyes where the only thing that was visible behind the mask.

A strong sensation of both fear and comfort held onto Big Macintosh as he struggled to speak, "W-Who are y-ya? Wh- what do ya want?"

The pegasus looked over to him, its eyes dimly glowing in the light of the rising moon. It did not speak but pointed to the farm house.

Big Mac snapped, "YA STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY FAMILY! AH LOST ONE, AH DONT LOSE ANOTHER!"

The large red earth pony snorted, finding his courage again and charged the pegasus. It recoiled at the outburst and braced for the hit. Big Mac slammed into it and started to push the robed pegasus back. Lurking sprang into action and flew hoof first at the other pegasus. His front left hoof landed at high speeds on the mask of the intruder. There was a cracking sound as the white mask fractured and knocked the pegasus back. Bits of the mask flew in all directions as the pegasus slammed into a tree and its wings fell limp over it.

"Good work Lurking."

The black pegasus shook his hoof as small bits of the mask fell off, "It hurt like hell though. What do you want to do Big Mac?"

The red earth pony glared hate at what he hoped was a dead pegasus, "Get rid of this thing so it doesn't hurt anypony else."

As the two looked on, the pegasi's wing twitched and it started to get up, with blood dripping from its now exposed muzzle. The two stepped back as the fear mounted again. The hood of the robe fell back revealing the orange mane and part of the face that wasn't bleeding or still covered by the mask. The pegasus looked over to them with its glowing green eyes as a tear of blood ran from its cheek and down its tan coat.

"A-Applejack!?" Lurking muttered in astonishment. "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Final Moments (mostly unedited)

Big Mac fell back on his plot in shock and mumbled to himself, "Applejack."

Applejack stood there silently and only watched the two stallions stare back in complete shock. Lurking took a step closer with his mouth hung open before entering a full gallop. When he reached her, the grey pegasus embraced Applejack in a loving hug and began to break down in tears of joy at his lovers return. The orange mare hesitated for a few moments before quickly returning the gesture as a faint smile grew on her muzzle. To Big Mac and Lurking, this was a very odd but welcomed reunion.

Suddenly the realization of what he had just done struck the grey pony, Lurking held tighter, "I'm sorry Applejack, I didn't know it was you behind that mask. I promise I will never do that to you again. Can you ever forgive me?"

Big Mac watched as his sister started to cry as she whispered her words, "I do Sugar Cube."

"I missed my Sugar Cube so much, you were gone for two years." Lurking looked her in the eyes "I was at your funeral, we all saw you get buried. How did you survive? Where have you been?"

The smile left the orange mares muzzle, "I-I can't say."

"What do ya mean ya can't say?" Big Mac said in an annoyed tone.

"I just can't Big Mac."

"That's a load of horse apples." the large red earth pony snorted and got to his hooves. "Ah found ya book in ya desk AJ. For six years ya lived this second life and never told anypony. It wound up killin ya in the end. Do ya know how much it killed me to see them puttin ya in the ground? I felt like Ah failed as ya big brother. Then ya show up after two years without even a word ta anypony. Where have you been? Ah don't care how, just where have ya been all this time?"

Applejack let go of Lurking and stepped closer to her brother, "I was dead. I... I still am. I have been going all over Equestria and the world. The things I've seen big brother, the ponies I've..."

The orange mare's mind drifted for a moment before Lurking called her name, bringing her back to reality.

"I'm sorry for everything that I put you through."

Big Mac razed and eye brow and spoke with anger in his voice, "What do ya mean ya sorry AJ? Ya left us and never came back or told anyone! Ya abandoned the family!"

Applejack looked her brother in the eyes and walked up to him. Without another word she removed the rob, allowing them to see a massive scare and a glowing enchantment over it.

After she thought enough time had passed for them to take in the sight, Applejack spoke softly, "I died big brother, I was put in the ground. I was brought back thanks to Twilight and a deal that was struck with Mother Mare. I have only been back for a few months and as part of the deal, I have to..." The orange mare paused for a moment that put the rob back on. "Never mind that, the point is, I just got a chance to see you again and I took it."

Lurking walked behind her and placed a wing over Applejack, "Sugar Cube, What is that glyph for on your chest?"

She leaned into him and lowered her head, "It keeps me alive. Without it i would go back to the herd... or that place."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I passed, I thought I was still alive because I saw Rainbow trying to fly into the battle in bad shape. If she would have fought, Rainbow would have died for sure. I stopped her from trying too, then she faded in front of me. I was sitting in darkness, alone. I started to feel a pain in my chest as the wound that ended my life started to open and burn. I tried to call for help but the pain was so great that I collapsed. I don't know how long i was like this until I heard a voice. It was Mother mare herself. She told me that I had done what I was meant to and that as a reward..." Applejack looked to Lurking. "Our foul would get a chance at life. She sent me back and undid most of the damage to my body."

Both Lurking and Big Mac's eyes widened and the black pegasus spoke, "Sugar Cube, a-are you saying?"

She nodded to him, "We are the parents of a healthy pegasus filly. The official story is that she is one of Twilight and Shadowheart's twin daughters. Princess Hope is your daughter Lurking, and she is in the best of care possible."

For only a moment Lurking stood motionless before quickly wrapping his forelegs around Applejack, "You don't know how happy i am to hear that."

Big Mac looked on as his sister never broke eye contact, blood dripping from her face when they broke the mask on her head. It had him feel uneasy to look into her eye and only be met by a hollow gaze as she looked back to him.
Applejack let Lurking go and walked over to Big Mac.

Tilting her head slightly she asked, "Are you alright Big Mac?"

The large red earth pony took a step back, "Somethin ain't right here. Who are ya? Ya can't be my sister? AJ IS DEAD!"

Applejack stopped in her tracks, a bloody tear rolled down her cheek. "Big Mac... I am Applejack... I'm your sister..."

Big Mac Stomped a hoof in anger as tears fell from his eyes and to the ground, "Stop sayin that ya are AJ! Ya ain't my sister! My sister died two years ago! All ya are is a monster in her body! NOW GO AWAY AND STAY AWAY FROM MY FAMILY!"

Applejack looked on is a mixture of betrayal and sorrow as her blood mixed tears feel to the ground, "B-Big Mac.... you can't..."

The red pony charged and slammed into her, ramming her body into a tree, cracking the bark. A loud sound of the snapping of bone filled Lurking ears.

The black pegasus tackled the angry earth pony, "What the hell is wrong with you Big Mac!? That's Applejack... My Sugar Cube and your sister "

The large Red earth pony looked over to the now unconscious pony, "That an't AJ, not anymore."

Big Mac pushed Lurking off of himself and walked over to Applejack. She lied on here side with her mane over her face, only the tip of the muzzle was exposed. He lifted her onto his back and started in the direction of Ponyville.

Lurking followed close behind, "Where are you taking her?"

Big Mac kept walking, "To Twilight, Ah won't hurt her anymore, but Ah don't want her here ever again. This isn't AJ, and Ah ain't puttin my family in any danger."

The large earth pony made his way to Ponyville, before he got to the Library however, He had told Lurking to go back home to watch after the others and to make sure Fluttershy was alright. The pegasus was very hesitant, but did as he was told with gritted teeth. It wasn't long before Big Mac was at the library door with an unconscious Applejack with her clock on, hiding her from the moon's tender light. With a few knows on the door, a groggy Spike answered.

"Hello?", Spike asked before his eyes fixed on the blood red wings that were drug on the ground.

"Spike, ah need to speak with Twilight. Can ya get her here for me?" Big Mac asked looking the small dragon in the eyes.

"um..yes I can, please come in. You can put the pegasus in Twilight's bed upstairs."

Big Mac walked in, but instead of putting Applejack upstairs he laid her on the floor and pulled the hood over the part of her face that wasn't covered by her broken mask. He stat next to her with a hoof on her chest to keep her down if she tried to get up before Twilight arrived.

Spike was confused at first, but the little dragon hurried off to send a letter of Canterlot for Twilight's urgent return. It didn't take long before the flash of a teleportation spell flickered to life and she was standing in front of them.

"Where is the Pegasus Spike?" Twilight said as calmly as she could.

Spike pointed to the ground near Big Mac, "They are right there"

Twilight looked to the hooded Pegasus, when her eyes saw the large crimson red wings she turned her head to face Big Mac,"Where did you find her?"

The large earth pony sat down, his gaze never leaving Applejack, "That thing came to the farm and tried to tell me it was my sister. I want to know why it was there and why it looks like her"

Spike walked over to it in confusion and lifted the hood, a long blond mane fell to the floor with bits of a mask and blood. The small dragon fell back when he say Applejack's face.

"Twilight, what is this and why is it stalkin around the farm?" Big Mac asked.

Twilight walked over and rested a hoof on AJ's side, "This is your sister, she was given a second chance as a guardian Angel. This is the doing of Princess Luna and her son Cassius."

Big Mac sat in disbelief of what Twilight was telling him, "This is not AJ, and Ah don't want it anywhere near my family. Can you keep get rid of it Twilight?"

The purple Alicorn looked to him in complete shock, "Big Mac... this is you sister!"

The large read earth pony shot up and stapled a hoof in rage, "MY SISTER IS DEAD! WHAT DON'T YA PONIES GET, AJ IS GONE!"

The library fell silent, Big Mac tried to calm his breathing. Twilight took a step back as Spike hid behind her.

"Ah'm sorry, but i dont want to see that thing ever again. So please get rid of it, Ah need to get back to Fluttershy, she could have the Foal any day now"

With that, He opened the door and left without another word. Leaving Twilight to oversee the fate of Applejack.

***************************************************************************************************

It had been a few days since Big Mac had taken Applejack to Twilight, He was now in his room with everypony else lived with him in the farmhouse, a very angry Lurking sat behind him with Towels as Fluttershy went into labor. It was almost time to see their newest member to the Apple family. Hours passed as Fluttershy's contractions got more frequent and the pain of pushing took its toll on the delicate pegasus, But the pain and effort was worth it in Fluttershy's eye when she saw her beautiful son. He was a tiny pegasus with with her yellow coat and his fathers mane and tail. His eyes were a dazzling green as he looking into Fluttershy's tender gaze.

Big Mac nuzzled Fluttershy with a large smile before she asked, "Big Macintosh, what should we name him?"

It only took a moment for the new father to think of a name for his son, "How bout Clint?"

"That's perfect, hello Clint, I'm your mommy Fluttershy and this is your daddy Big Macintosh." She cooed to her child.

The two sat there in joy over their giggling son who batted his tiny hooves at them. Everypony in the room watched the newest member of the apple family with pure joy. A feeling of uneasiness fell over him as he looked out the window. Ashs danced in the moonlight, a feeling of lose entered his mind for only a second before the cries of his new son filled his ears. He looked to him with a smile as the feeling faded into the night as new life entered this world, letting one leave and rest from their long ordeal.

***********************************************************

Applejack looked through the window of her brothers bedroom. She has perched herself on a tree that was planted close to the house. Resting her back against it, she smiled at the sight of her brothers joy at seeing his son. The Apples have a new member, And Applejack was happy to see him.

A sharp pain rose from her chest as a searing chile filled her. She placed a hoof over her chest and felt a hole begin to form as she turned to ashes. With a deep sigh and a tear of sorrow she looked back to her family.

Applejack whispered to herself, “My time is up…? Already?”

She pressed her hoof on her chest as pain filled her once again and the hole that ended her life that fateful day reopened, claiming her once again,”At least I got to see all of you.. one last time. I am sorry for leaving you, and I wish you only the best.”

As if hearing her, Big Mac looked out the window. His gaze only saw the ashes that drifted past the moon. As he looked back, AJ saw her nephew looking back at her. Hes crying seemed to stop as his first smile formed. This brought a smile of her own as the pain seemed to dull. Applejack knew he was in loving hooves, and she would be able to watch over him when she was back with the Eternal Herd. Applejack closed her eyes as she vanished from this world, visiting it for the last time.

Author's Note

This is unedited for the most part, Somethin has happened to my editor.... I will try and get this fixed asap. And yes, there will be 1 more chapter before this book is done. I love leaven ya'll in suspense. It keeps ya commin for more ^ω^

Epologe

"Some Rules Are Meant To Be Broken..... Right?"

There was an uproar at the gates of The Eternal and Equyignay where dispatched to find the source. The souls of ponies gathered around in curiosity. Mother Mare herself made her way to see what was going on. When she saw that her gate was attacked and left open, she let out an angered sigh.

"So you did go through with it" She chuckled, "I am a good writer aren't I. Just follow the pages young one. follow them all the way to Tartarus. Even as i write you lives, you can still pull away. For what you have done now, you may NEVER return to us Applejack. I hope your soul is as strong as in was in life. you will need it"

Author's Note

This is the intro to my fifth book in my forgotten but not forgiven story set, this is a new story arc but it will fall in the same realm with the other 4 books : Dark Libra, The Runner, Never Forgiven and My Sugar Cube. the next book is: Fallen Apple.