Chapters Discord arched his back, stretched out his arms, and let out a long yawn. Through weary eyes he glanced at his surroundings, and he quickly remembered that he was at Twilight’s. After spending the day organizing the library… well more like watching as she strictly told him not to touch any of the books… she graciously offered for him to spend the night there. He had conjured up a comfy hammock of clouds and slept in the main room. From the amount of sunlight that was pouring through the window, he assumed it was not long after sunrise.
“Twilight?” He called out, his voice echoing up the hallowed out tree. Hearing no response, he shrugged his shoulders and rolled off of his hammock. “I wonder if she has anything to eat…” He mumbled to himself, heading towards her kitchen. However, before he was able to plunder Twilight’s pantry, he spotted a pile of unorganized books. Wanting to impress the purple mare, he snapped his fingers and watched with a smile as they levitated themselves onto a nearby shelf. Seeing a job well done, he went about getting something to eat.
Twilight descended the stairs, yawning slightly as she reached the last step. “Morning, Discord.” She said upon the sight of him, as he was lounging back in his fluffy hammock, eating a cookie. Her cookies… “Discord! The Cakes just made those; I was saving them for a special occasion!”
“Hm?” He looked at her almost as if he had done nothing wrong. Swallowing the last bit of chocolaty goodness, he continued.
“I was just hungry, that’s all… You aren’t a very good host you know…”
“Couldn’t you have just made some appear?!”
“Well, yes, but it’s the principle of things! None of you seem to get it! I’m a prince, so I shouldn’t have to do everything myself.” Discord said, materializing a pair of sunglasses out of thin air. He placed them on his eyes before leaning back.
Twilight let out a frustrated sigh. There was just not winning with the Draconequus. She began making her way to the kitchen to find herself something to eat, but stopped when she noticed a certain pile of books missing. “Discord… Tell me you didn’t touch the books that were sitting there…”
“Huh?” He lifted his shades up to glance at her. “Oh, those? No need to thank me. I organized them myself this morning.”
“I told you not to touch anything!” She suddenly snapped at him. “I had all of those books in a separate pile so I could store them in the basement! Where did you put them?!”
“Uh… Over there, I think? Or no, maybe there… Wait…” He placed a talon under his chin as he scanned the bookcases, all of which looked identical.
“Argh! Now I have to reorganize everything!” Twilight yelled, using her magic to once again take down all the books.
“I could hel-”
“No!” She immediately cut him off. “Just get out of here before you ruin something else!”
Shrugging his shoulders he snapped his fingers and vanished, leaving the librarian to her tedious work.
Celestia gentled stirred her tea, watching as the small swirls disappeared into the dark, soothing drink. Her sister was going on yet another one of her rants on Discord, and she was looking for pretty much anything to amuse herself with.
“…And another thing, why do you let him deal with royal matters? The majority of the senators hate him, as all he does during meetings is daydream. He’s not fit to be a Prince!”
Sighing, she looked back up at her sister. “Luna… would it be too much to ask for you to get along with him for once?”
“Well, how can I?! He annoys me to all ends! I may have accepted your relationship with him, but I’m certainly not going to be friends with him!” Luna took another sip of her tea, admiring their peaceful setting as she did. They were currently sitting on a balcony that overlooked the gardens; it was truly a magnificent view, with the hedge garden and the many gorgeous statues all visible.
I think it’s about time I told her… I can’t keep putting this off… Placing down her drink, Celestia looked blankly down at the gardens. “Um… Luna… There’s something I need to tell you…”
“Yes, sister?”
“Well, you know how I went to the hospital yesterday?”
“Yes.”
“Well… The doctor had some… surprising news…”
“…And that was?” Luna asked, attentively awaiting an answer.
“I’m… um…” Celestia paused for a long moment. “…pregnant…”
“WHAT?!” Luna choked, spitting tea all over her sister. “Pregnant?!” She looked at her with wide eyes, her jaw hanging low.
Celestia brushed her wet mane from her face. “Yes…” The sun princess’s usual snow white coat was now stained a dark brown.
“But… but I thought you were just getting fat!”
“No…” She replied with an angry growl. “Three months along to be exact... I’m going to be seeing the doctor again next week.”
“I can hardly believe you! You two just got married, and now you’re already pregnant! What will that thing even look like? I can’t even imagine it…”
“That’s my child you’re talking about, Luna!” Celestia said sharply. “I’m sure it’ll turn out just fine, though I do have my doubts on which of us it will take after…”
Luna’s eyes suddenly went wide, and panic seemed to shoot through them. “Oh, merciful Lord… It’ll be like two Discords running around here! One is already enough!”
“Sister… I’m sure you’ll be fine. It’ll just be a baby after all…”
“But don’t you get it?! Discord is going to train it to endlessly annoy me, and then I’ll never have a moment of peace again! This is terrible!” Luna cried out, holding her face in her hooves.
“Well… I still need to tell Discord… I’ve decided I’ll break the news to him whenever he gets back.”
“Oh, when he gets back I’m going to beat the living hay out of him! This is all his fault! In fact, it’s probably just another one of his plans to make my life a living hell!”
“Luna.” Celestia looked at her sister with a sincere look. “Now you’re just talking crazy. Do you really think he would have a child just to annoy you?”
“Yes!”
She sighed. “Well, I certainly hope he takes it well. I’m in enough pain as it is…”
“Hey, Discord! What brings you here?” Pinkie Pie shouted upon the sight of the Draconequus. She had just come from the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, evident from the flour that covered her entire body.
“Oh, you know. Annoyed Luna again, stayed at Twilight’s, and got kicked out of her place for annoying her. Nothing new!”
“Well, that’s interesting. Want a cupcake? I just baked them!” Pinkie grinned, scurrying back into the kitchen to retrieve her sweets. She was back within an instant with a tray of delicious looking cupcakes sitting on her back.
“You know I can’t resist your cooking!” Discord grinned, snatching a cupcake and devouring it in one bite. “You’re a far better cook then Celestia… I still remember the last time she tried to cook dinner… gag!”
Pinkie giggled, “Oh, well thanks Discord! Speaking of the Princess, how’s she doing?”
“Same as always. A little bit too naggy now and then, but what can I do?” He shrugged.
“Well, I’m glad you two are happy! I always said you two were a perfect couple, and you do make the Princess so happy!” Pinkie grinned, placing the cupcakes onto a nearby display table. Not before taking a few for herself, that is.
“I think Luna’s had enough time to calm down by now. I really should be heading back to the castle, as Celestia is probably worried about me. Arrivederci, Pinkie!” He smiled to his pink friend, teleporting away instantly.
Luna took the news better than I thought… Sure, she isn’t exactly thrilled about the idea, but it’s not like she’s downright refusing it like the wedding. Maybe Discord will take it well? Who knows, he might like the idea of having a child… The thought gave her a small glimmer of hope, and she smiled as she sat waiting. A servant brought in yet another daffodil sandwich with an extra large helping of hay fries. Normally food like this would never be served to royalty, but for some reason she had a craving for it, and as a princess, she pretty much got whatever she wanted.
A loud pop startled her and she dropped her sandwich. She glanced around for who she suspected to be Discord, and wasn’t surprised when she saw his smirking face from across the dining table.
“Dear wife! How good to see you. Has Luna finally cooled off?” He immediately cut to the chase, his eyes skimming across the room in paranoia. He was afraid that she was suddenly going to pop out of nowhere and assault him, and as such he was prepared for anything.
“No, not really… But there is something I need to tell you. Something important.” Seeing the seriousness in her voice, he quickly teleported beside her, waiting patiently for her to continue. “You see, when I went to the doctor’s yesterday… I got some surprising news…”
“…And that news is?”
“…I’m pregnant…”
Discord stared at her blankly, almost as if he hadn’t heard what she said. There was a long moment of painful silence where she studied his facial expression, trying desperately to sense his reaction. He just looked at her with no emotion on his face. There was neither smile nor frown.
Then, finally, Discord swallowed. “What?!?!” He yelled causing Celestia to jump back in fright. “Pregnant?!?! You can’t be serious!”
“I am! I know it’s surprising and all, but just think about it! You’re going to be a father!”
The words didn’t help. In fact, if anything, they seemed to make the situation worse. Discord looked away from her with his whole body trembling. She had never seen the Draconequus so shaken before, and it scared her a little.
“Father?! B-b-but I can’t be a father! I’m far too young! Just look at me! I still have a full head of hair!” Discord declared, running his claw through his short black mane.
“Discord, your well over a thousand years old…”
“Yes, but I’m just not ready to be a father! I still have so many years ahead of me, and so much chaos left to wreck!” He stared up into the vast ceiling, his mind trying desperately to adjust to this new drastic news.
“But Discord! This is my child; our child! You should be happy that we’re bringing something into this world!”
Discord sighed and he couldn’t even bear to look at his wife. “But I thought you were just getting fat!”
A scowl crossed Celestia’s face, but quickly vanished as she tried to remedy the situation. “Please, Discord… I know this won’t be easy, but we’ll deal with it together… You and me.” She held a hoof out.
He glanced at her hoof, and a long moment of silence passed between them. “I-I need some time to think… Alone…” He vanished and Celestia was left sitting in the dining hall.
That didn’t go well at all… I certainly hope that he changes his mind soon, for the good of us all…
Pregnant! I can’t believe it! This is certainly one thing I didn’t see coming! Discord thought silently to himself as he gazed at the nature around him. He was sitting in the Canterlot gardens, right on the spot where he had been alone for a thousand years. How long ago those times seemed, when he hated Celestia and wished nothing but harm upon her.
That had all changed, however, in a single night. She had visited him and poured her heart out to him, and finally they could fall in love. Thinking about it, he realized how plagued their relationship had been. From the days way back when, to the recent ones where Twilight and Luna tried to break them apart. It was almost as if fate didn’t want them to be together.
I love her, but… I’m just not ready to be a father! Getting married is one thing, but a child! The sheer amount of work to care for it is making my head hurt, not to mention I’ll be tied down for the rest of my life! What I need to do is live what little time I have left to the fullest, before I become a father…
This whole dilemma was really making him see how old he was, and how much he had been through his entire life. Now all that would change, and this single event was going to turn his life upside down. No more chaos… no more fun… Only… parenthood…
Twilight was peacefully reorganizing her library, that was, until Discord suddenly appeared before her.
“Didn’t you hear me?! I told you to stay out!” She roared at him, pausing a moment from her work.
“Oh, Twilight, this is terrible!” He said, completely disregarding her words. “Celestia has just given me some awful, horrible news!”
“Oh, yeah?” She said annoyed, returning to her task. “Is the Princess finally getting a divorce?”
“No! Worse than that!” He wailed, turning away from her. “Celestia is pregnant!”
There was a loud thump as a dozen books tumbled to the floor. “What?!” Twilight spun around to look at him.
“Pregnant! And soon I’ll be tied down in the castle, listening to that awful little thing cry all day long…”
“She’s pregnant?! Bu-but… I can hardly believe it! Princess Celestia, pregnant, and you’re the father! Wow!” She said with wide eyes.
“This isn’t anything to be excited about!” Discord suddenly snapped. “The greatest years of my life are over! All that remains are the tight binding chains of parenthood! I can’t handle this!”
Twilight looked at him with a very surprised look. She had never seen the Draconequus so worried, as usually he was always so calm and collected. But now… He was beginning to remind her of herself during the days leading to the wedding…
“Come on, Discord! Shouldn’t you be happy about this? Celestia is your wife, and she cares about you a lot. I’m sure she’s very happy and excited right now, and you should be too!”
“Oh, my bucking head…” Celestia mumbled to herself as she gritted her teeth. “Servant!” She wailed at the top of her lungs, tossing several times in her bed as she struggled to get comfortable.
“Uh, y-yes, your highness?” A unicorn said meekly as he rushed to her side.
“Get the doctor over here this instant! My damn head is killing me right now, and I need that medication!”
“Y-yes, your highness!” He nodded, quickly teleporting out of her sight.
Celestia groaned as she rolled over and looked through her balcony door. This damn child better be worth it, because I haven’t been in this much pain in a long time…
“But how can I?! Just imagine yourself for a minute! What if you were to have a child soon? How would you feel?” Discord questioned.
“Well…” Twilight looked at her hooves with an unsure frown. “I can’t say I’d be happy… I mean, I still have so much of my life left! I’m far too young to have a child!”
“…And that’s exactly how I feel! I still have so many years of chaos ahead of me; I can’t be tied down with a child!”
“But you’re immortal! You have all of time left!”
“Ah, Twilight. You don’t understand.” Discord declared, raising a claw in front of her. “You won’t until you have a child. Now, excuse me while I go and figure out a plan to stop all this…” He snapped his fingers and vanished.
“Oh, Discord…” She sighed. “You’re never going to learn…”
“This is just great! I can hardly wait until Discord gets back, and then I can finally get some well deserved payback!” Luna cackled, giggling like a school filly.
“Oh, Sister, that’s good and all… but when is that bucking doctor going to get here?!” Celestia snapped, raising her head a few inches above her pillow to scan the room.
“You should calm down a bit, Celestia. we are Princesses, remember?”
“Luna! It feels like something is painfully tunneling its way into my skull! I need morphine now!”
“Gosh, Sister, you’re quite the drama queen…” Luna rolled her eyes at her. “If you’re not going to quiet down, I’m just going to find some other place to scheme…” She turned her head away from her and left the room. Celestia let out a sigh as she closed the door.
Luna paced down the well furnished hallway, heading towards her personal bedroom just one floor down. The ornate carpet felt soft on her hooves, and the torches along the walls gave the hallway a warm atmosphere. The upper part of the castle tower was by far the most beautiful, as the royal bedrooms were housed there.
As she headed to the door of her bedroom, she was halted as Discord suddenly appeared in front of her. A grin suddenly spread on her face. “Ah, Discord! Just the Draconequus I wanted to see!”
“Luna! I just came up with the most brilliant idea! It will fix everything!” Discord said with genuine excitement in his voice.
“Oh, yes? Let’s hear it then…” She smiled, waiting for whatever ridiculous idea he had come up with to try and weasel out of this.
“Well, I was thinking that we’d make you the godfather! You’d take care of the child in my place while I continue on with my chaos! It’s genius!”
“Oh, yeah?” Luna said with a frown. “Just what makes you think I’d become the godfather?”
“Well, you do have the mustache for it!” Luna’s hoof hit nothing but air as Discord teleported behind her, away from her blows. “Come on, Luna, stop being so selfish!”
“Hehe…” She grinned, trying her best to hide her anger. “Well, Discord… I just heard some news that might upset you…”
“Celestia is having twins!”
Discord’s eyes practically popped out of their sockets. “WHAT?!?!” He immediately teleported away, obviously going to find out if this unsettling news was correct.
“Ha!” Luna laughed. “I’ve never seen him so angry before! This is just too good!”
“Now, you say you’ve been experiencing some head pain? I wasn’t expecting any until at least next week! Perhaps I should have given you some medication sooner…” A doctor dressed in a lab coat said, watching as Celestia tossed and turned in her bed.
“Well, just give me the damn morphine before I throw myself off the balcony!” She snapped at him, causing him to jump back in freight.
“Um, y-yes. Right away Princess.” The doctor fumbled through his pockets, taking a painfully long time to find the medicine.
After what felt like eternity, he finally pulled out a small bottle and squinted to read the tiny letters. “Ah, yes, here it is! Now you should probably only take tw-” The doctor was cut off as Celestia snatched the bottle from his grasp and swallowed the entire thing in one gulp. She lay back against her pillow and immediately began to feel them take effect.
“Oh… um… That isn’t good…” He mumbled to himself, looking at the Princess with a concerned look. “Oh well! She is an Alicorn; it’ll probably barely even effect her…”
Right after the doctor closed the door shut, Discord popped into the room. He looked at his slightly dizzy looking wife with an anxious look.
“Celestia! Don’t tell me it’s true! Luna told me you’re having twins!”
“Who?! Wha-?” Celestia looked up, her head swaying back and forth as she looked around the room. “Oh, Discord! It’s you!” She smiled, and Discord looked at her with surprise.
“Um… Celly? Are you alright?” He raised an eyebrow at her, confused by her odd behavior.
“Of course!” She giggled, laying her head against her soft pillow. “Everything feels like it’s moving...”
Wow, she’s acting very weird… Maybe she’s had a breakdown… “Well, tell me already! Are you having twins?!”
“Huh?” She looked up again, completely confused. “Oh… oh no! No twins.”
Discord let out a sigh. “Oh, thank goodness! I don’t know what I’d do if you were…”
“Nope! No twins! Just triplets! Or Quadruplets! Oh, that’d be fun!” Celestia giggled again. “…Or maybe quintuplets! I wonder what six babies are called…”She placed a hoof under her chin and thought silently to herself.
Oh no, she’s snapped… “Celestia dear, I don’t think you’re feeling very well…”
“Sextuplets! Yes, that’s the word! I’m having six kids!” Celestia clapped her hooves together like a foal.
“Um, right… I’m just going to come back when you’re feeling better…” Discord said with a slight amount of fear audibly in his voice.
“Bye weird dragon thing!” Celestia waved, quickly returning to staring happily at the ceiling.
“Yes… Bye…”
Twilight sighed in frustration as she was interrupted yet again. Luna had just barged her way through the door with an enormous grin on her face.
“Twilight Sparkle! You should see Discord! He is absolutely freaking out right now!”
“Yeah, he already showed up here and complained to me… Honestly, why can’t you ponies leave me alone for one day?!”
Twilight growled, as that was the second time today she had been ignored completely. “So? How does this have anything to do with me? If you hadn’t noticed, I’m trying to get some work done…”
“Well, I was thinking we could take advantage of Discord’s current state! It would be just like when we teamed up to stop the wedding!”
“If you remember, that failed horribly! I lost every ounce of my sanity, you ended up banished on the moon, and I was left alone in the Everfree Forest! Why would I help you again?”
“Oh, well when you say it that way...” Luna said with a disappointed look. “…I suppose I don’t really need you. I can annoy Discord on my own. Goodbye then, Twilight!”
After Luna left Twilight let out a sigh, “Maybe I can finally get some actual work done around here…”
“Pinkie Pie! You’re the only one I have left to turn to now! Twilight’s busy as always, Luna’s annoying me, and Celestia is absolutely bonkers!”
“Oh, sure Discord, whatever you need!” Pinkie Pie grinned, taking a seat on the floor and staring at him with an attentive look.
“Well… Celestia’s pregnant…”
“Pregnant?!” Pinkie Pie shouted, jumping ten feet in the air. Somehow streams and balloons exploded around her and decorated the entire store. “This calls for a party!”
“No! This is awful!”
“Why?” Pinkie asked, craning her head like a confused dog.
“Because, my greatest years are gone! My days as a bachelor are finished! Not only that, but I feel so old now! Gone are the youthful days when I spent all my time causing chaos, and where I didn’t have a care in the world!”
“Well… think about it this way, Discord!” She grinned, jumping up in front of him. “You’re gonna have a kid! And you’re going to spend so much fun time with it! You know, I love kids! I could babysit if you wanted! I’m great with kids! Just ask Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I did an amazing job with Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake! We could play games and…”
Discord rolled his eyes as Pinkie went into yet another endless rant of nonsense. If there was one thing that annoyed him about the pink pony, it was that she didn’t know when to shut up. Waiting patiently, Pinkie finally stopped talking after what seemed like forever.
“That’s not helping, you know… What I need is to do something fun to take my mind off of this whole thing…”
“Oh, I know! Come on, Discord, follow me!” Pinkie Pie zipped through the door with a speed that rivaled the wonder bolts, with the Draconequus following right behind her.
“Oh, sister, I feel SO amazing right now!” Celestia said with a smile as she leaned on Luna like a wall.
“Um Celestia? How much medication did you take?”
“Oh… I don’t remember… All I know is, that cat looks rather upset…” She grinned, pointing a hoof to a nearby potted plant.
“That’s a plant…”
“Oh! Then the plant look upset… You know, I think I need to go lie down…” Celestia giggled, turning back towards her bedroom.
“Please do Sister, you need the rest…”
“Wait, no! I have a sudden craving for pancakes! To the kitchen!” Celestia yelled, pushing past her sister and down the tower steps.
“Wait, Celestia! Ugh… This isn’t good…”
“Come on, Celestia. I think you’ve had enough now!” Luna mumbled in frustration, slamming her hoof against the stone floor.
“Oh Sister, you have no idea HOW good these are…” Celestia said with a mouthful of pancakes, syrup running down her mouth and chin like a waterfall. She continued to shovel them down with no apparent sign of stopping.
“But you’ve already had a dozen!”
“Please, Luna, just one more…” After finishing what was left on her plate, she looked towards the chef patiently. He was in quite a sour mood; the fact that Celestia woke him up to make pancakes probably attributed to it.
“Fine! One more, but then off to bed!”
After what seemed like forever to Celestia, the chef turned around and threw another pancake on her plate. The poor thing barely had a chance, as half of it was already in the alicorn’s mouth within the blink of an eye. She moaned as she ate the rest of it, enjoying every last bite of the sweet, delectable food.
Luna cringed upon the sight of her sister’s monstrous eating manners. She had never seen Celestia act so ill mannered, so it shocked her to watch her sister shovel down pancakes like an angry bear. Seeing her eat the last of her food, she spoke up. “Alright, now off to bed!”
Celestia looked up from her plate and frowned at her. “Are you kidding me?! The night is still young! In fact, I don’t think I’ll go to sleep at all!” She giggled, jumping up from her seat and rushing out of the kitchen.
“Wait! Celestia!” She tried running after her, but quickly realized she had already disappeared from sight. The sugar from the syrup must have given her some kind of energy rush, as she had never seen her move so fast before. She growled and gritted her teeth. “Go get the guard; tell them Celestia isn’t feeling well and that she’s running around the castle!” She pointed a hoof at the chef, who stared back with an angry look.
“Me?! You wake me up in the middle of the night to make pancakes, and now you expect me to run about as your messenger?!” He barked back at Luna, shocking her. “I quit!” He yelled in frustration, throwing his hat to the ground.
“Well, fine! I’ll just go get the guards myself! Hopefully Celestia hasn’t gotten into any trouble yet…”
“Where are we going, Pinkie?” Discord questioned, almost running out of breath as he followed the pink pony.
“Almost there! Just a little further!”
He glanced around at the scenery, finding they were now out of Ponyville at this point. In the distance, he could make out a mass of clouds, and he quickly realized where they were heading. “Isn’t Rainbow Dash sleeping right now? It is a little late…”
“Oh, I’m sure she won’t mind! Anyway, this is important! You said yourself, you don’t have that much time left!”
“Well, I suppose you’re right…”
Within a few seconds they arrived at the floating house. Discord snapped his fingers and they both appeared at her doorstop. Pinkie rapped loudly at the door and yelled. “Rainbow Dash! Wake up! We need you!”
There were a few seconds of silence before she shouted back. “Go away, Pinkie! I’m trying to sleep here!”
“But come on, Dashie! Discord’s here and he needs your help!”
There was some loud shuffling before the door was thrown open, revealing a tired looking pegasus. “What do you want?!” She asked, looking rather annoyed. Her eyes were full of sleep, and she was struggling to stand up because she was so drowsy.
As soon as he saw her, a light bulb went off in Discord’s head. “That’s it! You’re a genius, Pinkie Pie!” He shouted, picking her up.
“I am?” She craned her head at him.
“Yes!” He put her down and grinned at the pegasus. “There’s no pony cooler then Rainbow Dash! You could teach me how to act like the young ponies these days, and I’ll feel a thousand years younger!”
“That’s a great idea!” Pinkie smiled. “I was just going to ask her to go do some pranks with us!”
Rainbow Dash looked at them with a scowl. “You woke me up for this? To think I thought it was actually important…” She turned around and started towards her bedroom.
“Wait!” Discord yelled, causing her to turn around with a sigh. “Whatever you want, I can get it! All I ask is for you to teach me to be like you!”
She stared at him for a few minutes, thinking about what she wanted most in the world. “Alright, I want to hang out with the Wonderbolts for a day! If you can do that, I’ll teach you!”
“Done! I’ll tell Celestia right away! Now, where do we start?”
“How about tomorrow? ‘Cause right now, I’d like to go to bed…” She mumbled.
“Gotcha!” Discord nodded back. Rainbow Dash slammed the door leaving the two of them alone outside. “Thanks, Pinkie Pie! This is absolutely brilliant! There’s no way it could fail!”
“No problem! But… now what?”
Discord put a claw under his chin and stood silent for a minute. “Well, Celestia’s probably worried about me like always. I really should be getting back to the castle.”
“Well, then bye Discord! See ya tomorrow!” Pinkie Pie shouted, jumping off of the cloud.
Well, I hope Celestia isn’t too worried…. Whenever I’m out of her sight for more than a few hours, she starts thinking that I’m causing trouble…
“Catch me, Luna! Catch me!” Celestia yelled between a fit of giggles as she turned another corner of the hedge maze. The loud hooves behind her indicated that her sister was in hot pursuit.
“Come now, sister! This is ridiculous!” Luna heaved, barely able to keep up with her drugged sister. “Why don’t you just stop this stupid game and go to bed!?”
“I don’t wanna!” She called back from somewhere within the maze.
Luna stopped and took a deep breath. For a pregnant mare, her sister really could run. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head that made her feel incredibly stupid. She had wings! The princess of the night took off into the air and scanned the hedge maze for the white alicorn. Within a few moments, she caught sight of her and swooped down after her.
Celestia was happily skipping along the path, no longer afraid that her sister would catch her. She jumped back in fright when Luna suddenly landed in front of her. “Gotcha!” Luna yelled in exhaustion, reaching a hoof out and touching her sister.
A frown appeared on her face, “Aww… Now I’m it!” Celestia quickly poked her sister back and grinned. “You’re it!” She turned another corner and disappeared once again into the maze.
Luna stomped her hoof against the soft earth and growled. Had anypony been near, they would have noticed the twitch in her left eye. She had been chasing her sister around for over an hour now, which was a truly fruitless and exhausting task.
“Fine, Celestia! You win! You can freeze your flank off out here, but I’m going inside!” She shouted into the night before teleporting into the castle.
Luna paced down the hallway to her bedroom, and just as she went to open her door, a flash filled the room and Discord appeared.
“There you are, Luna! Where’s Celestia? She isn’t in bed!”
“You’re wife is in the hedge maze…” She growled back. “Go chase her yourself, because I’ve had enough of her stupid game!”
Luna slammed her door shut, leaving Discord to wonder why she was so upset. “But Celestia running around in the hedge maze? I’ve got to see this!”
From high in the air, Discord scanned the hedge maze, catching no sign of his drugged wife. “Celestia?!” He called out into the cool night. “Celestia?!” Hearing no response he sighed. “Now, where could she be? I just have to think like her! If I was a pregnant mare who swallowed a whole bottle of morphine, where would I be?”
A sudden, high-pitched laugh pierced his thoughts, and he quickly recognized it to be Celestia. Determining the source to be coming from the library, he teleported into the warm castle.
The Grand Library of Canterlot Castle truly was grand, with bookshelves as far as the eye could see. It was the largest collection of books in Equestria, and one could spend an eternity reading what was held in its stacks. Discord was sure Twilight had spent her fair amount of time in this place.
“Celestia?” He yelled, glancing around the massive, ornate room. Another laugh echoed around him, and he followed the noise down one of the shelves. Coming to the end of it, he gasped at what he saw.
An enormous castle made of books loomed over him, and sitting on the top, frantically building it larger, was his wife.
She paused a moment from her construction to gaze down at her husband. “Discord! Quick, get inside! Before the book demon gets you!”
“Book demon? Come now, Celestia! You’re not feeling well. Just get down from your little castle and let’s go to bed…”
“No! This book fort is the only thing that can protect me from the book demon!” Celestia used her magic to levitate over another pile of books, which she quickly began adding onto her fort.
Sighing, Discord teleported up beside her. From the top of her ‘Book Fort’ he could see the entire library and its seemingly endless shelves. She certainly had a lot of building materials; she could keep building forever if she wanted.
“And… there!” Celestia placed a final book and sighed. “The mighty book fortress is done! Now we’ll be safe!” She squealed, turning her attention to the rest of the library. “Now, where is that evil, shriveled demon…?”
Discord was speechless; he had never seen somepony act so crazy since Twilight had her second mental breakdown. “Celestia, you’re acting crazy! And that’s coming from me!”
“Crazy?” She looked at him and let out a high pitched cackle. “Ha! You won’t call me crazy when you see the demon… THERE IT IS!” She suddenly yelled, pointing a hoof towards a nearby shelf.
Discord looked over and saw an elderly mare, who seemed rather upset that the books were being used to build a fort. “I think that’s the librarian…”
“No! It’s evil incarnate, I tell you! Now quickly, attack!” She started pelting the poor mare with books, who in turn glared at her with a cross look. “Quick, Discord, more books! We need to banish this monster to the fires from whence it came!”
“Celestia, I’m all for some chaos and all, but you’re going to hurt somepony if you keep this up!”
“AH! I’m out of books!” She roared at the top of her lungs. “I’ll have to start taking from the fo…” Before Celestia could throw more books at the old librarian, she collapsed against the ceiling of her fort. Snores filled the air as she drifted off into a deep sleep.
“I guess she finally crashed… Well…” He glanced around at the huge mess his wife had made, and then at the angry librarian who was shouting curse words up at them. “I’m sure somepony will clean this up…” He snapped his fingers and both he and Celestia vanished.
“Oh, my head… What happened last night?” Celestia mumbled to herself as the painful rays of the sun blinded her. “Wait, I don’t remember raising the sun!” She shot out of her bed and looked around her room in confusion.
Just then, the door to her bedroom was thrown open, and Luna walked in with an annoyed expression. “Well, look who’s finally up!”
“Luna? Would you mind filling me in on what’s going on?! I can barely remember last night, and I’m positive I didn’t raise the sun this morning!”
“You didn’t. I had to! As If raising the moon isn’t exhausting enough…”
“Oh, well… thank you sister.” Celestia nodded back before lying back down on her soft, warm bed.
“…And about last night… you don’t remember a thing?”
“Well, I do remember being in the library… and something to do with pancakes… but that’s all!”
Luna growled and looked at her sister with frustration. “Well, you ingested a whole bottle of morphine and then went on to cause chaos all over the castle. The servants are still cleaning up your mess in the library, and now we need to find a new cook and a librarian!”
“Oh…” Celestia mumbled, hardly able to believe she did any of those things. “What about Discord? Where’s he?”
“Discord? He said something about going to Ponyville… Now let’s go, you have some apologizing to do…”
Three figures stood in the morning air. One of them looked rather tired, another was pacing back and forth, and a third who was jumping around with unusual energy. A black, paved race track ran around the huge empty valley beside them.
“Alright!” Rainbow Dash snapped, eyeing Discord fiercely, who was standing as still as a statue. “Now, I’m not going to lie, this training is going to be tough, and only the strongest will make it through!” She turned away from him and paced a few meters away.
The pegasus was dressed in the same attire that she had worn during her best pet competition; a hat covered her usually messy hair and a red whistle dangled from her neck. She spun around and glared at him. “So, you think you’re up to it?”
“Ha! I’m the immortal god of chaos! I think I can handle whatever you can throw at me…” He grinned, rolling his eyes at her serious attitude.
“You say that now, but just wait until we get started…” Rainbow said with a sly grin. “Now, I believe that you were born cool. You can’t achieve coolness, or learn to be it, so you’re either cool or you’re not. We’re going to see if you have what it takes!”
Discord yawned, already bored of this training.
“That’s it! Twenty laps, maggot!” She suddenly barked at him, causing him to jump with fright.
“What? You don’t actually expect me to run do you?!”
“Thirty it is!” She yelled, pointing a hoof towards the race track. With a sigh, Discord started running around the track. He didn’t understand how this was going to make him cool, but he didn’t want to argue with the pegasus who was so graciously offering her wisdom.
“Uhh, Dashie? How is this supposed to make Discord cool?” Pinkie Pie asked as the two of them watched the Draconequus run. He was out of shape to say the least. Granny Smith probably could have run faster than him.
“Oh, Pinkie. You’ll see. Discipline first, then the real training starts!”
After what must have been twenty minutes, Discord fell to the black pavement exhausted. “Oh, sweet Celestia, my lungs are on fire!” He moaned, clutching a hand to his chest. “Actually, do I even have lungs? If anything I think I have gills…”
“Are you joking me?!” Rainbow Dash roared, looking down at him with a disappointed look. “That was only one lap!”
“I-I know… Ca-can’t do… anymore!” He said between deep breaths. The pegasus just rolled her eyes at him.
“Well, I guess you can do the other twenty-nine laps later… Honestly, how can anypony be THAT out of shape?”
“Well…” Discord finally caught his breath and got to his feet. “I was in stone for over a thousand years, not to mention I like to hover rather then walk like you chumps…”
“Yeah Dashie, cut him a break!”
“Fine, fine… I guess we should get started with the real training anyway… Now, one of the most important parts of being cool is the vocabulary, so let’s get started with that…”
“That can’t be true! There’s no way the Princess would ever do that!”
“Well, I’m not lying, Twilight! I heard it straight from a friend, who knows a friend, who knows a guard that saw the whole thing!” Rarity replied with a smile. She always loved sharing the latest gossip, which was a trait that was similar to the upper class ponies in Canterlot.
“Well, I just can’t believe that! I’ll have to mention it to her in my next letter…” Twilight mumbled, seriously doubting that her teacher had run around Canterlot castle like a crazed maniac.
After hearing a whistle from the kitchen, Rarity got up from her seat and hurried to make their tea. Within a few moments, she returned with two cups of steaming hot brew levitating behind her. She placed one in front of her lavender friend, and then took a sip from her own cup.
“Thanks, Rarity! We haven’t had tea together for awhile!” Twilight smiled, blowing away the rising steam from her cup.
“Oh, it’s no problem at all, dear! We really should do this more often.” There was silence between the two of them for a few moments as they sipped from their tea.
“So…” Twilight looked up from her drink. “Have you decided what you’re going to wear to the Princess’s dinner this weekend?”
*SPLASH* “GAH! I completely forgot about that! My goodness, what am I going to wear?!” Rarity yelled, spitting tea all over her unicorn friend. She jumped up from her seat and rushed upstairs to her wardrobe.
Twilight sat with a frown on her face. After a few moments she pushed away the sopping wet hair from her eyes and hurried up to her friend. She ducked as she entered the bedroom, just barely dodging a pile of clothes that flew past her.
“MUST. FIND. SOMETHING!” Rarity was literally tearing apart her closet as she searched desperately for something decent to wear.
“Um… Rarity? It’s this weekend, so I’m sure you have more than enough time to pick something…”
“NO! I’ve got to look now, and if I don’t have anything, then I’ll need to make something! But then I’ll have to go and buy more fabric, and OF COURSE I’ll need to find some more gems… Oh dear, this is going to be a lot of work…” She sighed, placing a hoof to her head.
“Ah… It’s been a long day…” Celestia groaned as she collapsed on her bed. Her sister looked at her with a dissatisfied expression.
“Long day? It’s only dinnertime! You still have another two meetings, and then you have to finish the planning for the dinner this weekend!”
“Speaking of dinner…” Celestia mumbled as her stomach growled. “Let’s go get something to eat, and then we can finish the rest of that rubbish…”
Celestia reluctantly got up from her bed and headed to the kitchens along with her sister. Within thirty minutes, the two of them were eating silently in the dining hall.
“You’re lucky we were able to replace the head chef so quickly…” Luna stated as they ate.
“Let’s never mention that night again…” Celestia quickly hissed back.
The silence between them was broken by an extremely loud revving, which seemed to echo through the whole castle. The two of them looked around in confusion, when suddenly a motorcycle broke through the large doors and came to a screeching stop in front of the table. Both of their jaws dropped as Discord stepped off of the bike.
“Hey, baby…” He mumbled, giving Celestia a single glance. He was dressed in a black leather jacket, and dark sunglasses covered his eyes.
“D-D-Discord?! What the hay is all this?!” She questioned, gesturing to his clothes and motorcycle.
“Just my new wardrobe baby, don’t like it? Too bad.” He replied, playing with the toothpick in his mouth.
“I-I-I… I don’t know what to say…” Celestia continued to stare at him, trying to make sense of his new attitude. He did look somewhat stupid, like one of those idiots who pretended to be cool by wearing dark clothes and driving a motorcycle. But part of her was somewhat… attracted?
“Just what are you trying to accomplish with this? Trying to look like an idiot?!” Luna chuckled, unable to do anything but laugh at him.
“Well, look who’s talking? You look like the rear end of a manticore…” Discord smirked, causing her to snarl at him.
“Yeah, my main pegasus RD was teaching me to be like the young ponies these days; then I made myself this sweet ride.” He stated coolly, taping his bike with a talon.
Luna shook her head at him and returned to her meal. “Well, enjoy looking like a complete moron!”
Discord glared at her through his sunglasses, and after a few moments he looked away and mounted his bike. “Well, peace baby. I’m going out drinking with my friends. I’ll probably see you around midnight.”
“What?!” Celestia blurted out. “Since when do you drink?”
“Since now. Get used to it.” The motorcycle’s engine echoed through the large room as he started it up again. After taking another glance at the Princesses he drove out of the dining hall, leaving a massive cloud of exhaust. As the smoke cleared, they noticed large tire tracks stained into the once beautiful carpets.
“You know, he sure is making being pregnant hard…” Celestia sighed, shaking her head at the mess he left behind.
“I don’t see why you’re so upset about it, sister. I find this whole thing hilarious! I say let him drive around and look like an idiot.”
“Well, it may be fun for you, Luna, but it definitely isn’t for me… He is supposed to be a prince after all! Just wait until I get every senator and politician in Canterlot complaining to me…”
Well, I certainly hope Rarity calms down soon… Twilight thought to herself as she stepped onto the street. I’m sure she’ll find something, or make something, for that matter. She really does enjoy her work, so it won’t be that big of a problem.
Twilight began her short walk back to the library, which was just a few streets from the boutique. As she trotted along, she glanced at all the ponies that walked by, and all of them were busy doing their daily chores. While Ponyville certainly wasn’t as busy and crowded as Canterlot, it had its own sense of life. The center of the town was usually bustling at times, but not so much as ponies would knock you out of the way as they would in the capital. It was a quaint town, and Twilight loved spending time here whether it was in the park or just an afternoon stroll.
However, the peace that usually filled the streets was broken by a loud revving. The unicorn looked around in confusion, wondering what in Equestria could be making the ear shattering noise. She jumped back in fright when a motorcycle came blazing down the street and stopped abruptly in front of her.
“D-Discord?!” She looked up at the black figure on the bike, knowing there was only one creature in Equestria that possessed a body like that.
“Yo, Twilight!” He raised his shades and smirked at her. “What are you doin’ around here?”
“Umm… This is my house…” She stated, gesturing a hoof to the tree behind her.
“Oh, yeah, right!” Discord nodded, quickly trying to hide his stupid comment. “So, uh…”
“What’s with the clothes? …And that…thing?” She pointed to his bike.
“Well, I’m just trying to act like the new generation, you know? You can only stay old and strict like Celestia and Luna for so long…”
“Right…” Twilight said with an awkward smile. “Well, I really should be going, you know…”
“Oh, uh, yeah!” Discord placed the glasses back over his eyes, trying to retain his air of coolness that had been slipping. “I’m going out drinking with some friends, so yeah… Peace.”
The motorcycle let out another high pitched cry and sped off down the road. She shook her head as she opened her door. This definitely wasn’t one of Discord’s most brilliant plans…
“Gah! This isn’t working at all!” Discord mumbled in frustration as he dragged a talon through his mane.
“What do ya mean? You look so cool! Just do everything I taught you and you’ll be fine.” Rainbow Dash said with a reassuring smile.
“Well, I don’t feel very cool… Nor do I feel any younger…” The Draconequus stared down at his glass of chocolate milk for a few moments before taking another sip of it.
“You just got to work on it! That’s all!” Pinkie Pie grinned, downing her third glass in one swig. “More please!” She held out her empty cup, eagerly awaiting the next glass of chocolaty delight.
Sighing, Discord snapped his talons and refilled her cup. He looked around at the boring, monotone walls of Rainbow Dash’s cloud home. While it certainly looked amazing from the outside, the same couldn't be said about the interior. Her kitchen had little to admire, no doubt because she rarely used it.
“I guess you’re right, Pinkie… I’m sure with some time and effort, I’ll be the bees er… How does that go again?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at him. “Well, your training isn’t done yet! We still have the next few days to toughen you up so you’ll be ready for the Princess’s dinner this weekend!”
“Right! Let’s do this!” Discord declared, downing the last of his drink.
Mischievous Luna
A bright light flashed throughout the dark hallway of Canterlot Castle. An eerie silence hung in the air, and the torches along the walls cast a creepy glow on portions of the hall. Using the upmost caution, Discord crept down the deserted hallway.
His footsteps were cushioned by the expensive, ornate carpet beneath him. After a few minutes of carefully sneaking down the hall, he turned to the right and placed a talon on the golden doorknob to his bedroom. Slowly, he turned it until he heard the click, then he slithered through the gap.
Discord let out a quiet sigh, “…And Celestia’s none the wiser…”
“Going somewhere?” The lights flickered on, revealing Celestia standing in front of their bed with a scowl on her face.
“C-C-Celestia?!”
“Surprised to see me? Thought that I’d be asleep, eh? Well, you aren’t the sneakiest of ponies, you know… I bet half of the castle heard you creeping down the hall…”
“Well, I was just… uh…” Discord’s voice trailed off; for once he was at a loss for words.
“It’s two a.m. Discord…”
“Well, I was out drinking with my friends, just like I told you!” He quickly mumbled, trying his best to return to his cool new attitude.
“By drinking, do you mean sipping chocolate milk with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash?” She asked with a smirk.
“Wh-what?! N-no! Hard liquor, that’s what all the cool kids drink these days. You wouldn’t know of course, what with you being so old and stuck up.”
Celestia’s stare turned as cold as ice, and Discord tried to weaken with the tension with an awkward laugh. “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight…”
“What?! I am not sleeping on the couch! I’m a prince! Therefore I deserve much more than a crummy-”
Discord let out a defeated sigh and turned to leave. If there was one thing he learned in his three months of marriage with Celestia, it was to not argue with her when she was mad. And boy, when all the senators and common folk weren’t around, she could really flip.
Dear, Twilight Sparkle
I’ve just finished planning the dinner this weekend and I’m eager to see you and all your friends! I recently received your letter, and I’m glad that you aren’t upset about the baby. As you know, Discord isn’t taking this easily. Speaking of which, I certainly hope he straightens himself out before the dinner… Anyway, I ask you not to tell your friends about the baby as I’d like to personally tell them all this weekend. Until then!
Sincerely, Princess Celestia
Upon finishing the letter, Twilight placed it down on her desk and raised an eyebrow at the stunned Spike.
“Princess Celestia’s having a baby?!” He blurted out, his jaw hanging low.
“Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you!” Twilight said rather casually.
“Oh yeah, because the Princess having a baby is just such a regular thing that it must have slipped your mind…” Spike shook his head and went back to sorting the books in his claws.
“Well, sorry Spike! Discord’s been coming around here and annoying me constantly, so it’s hard to even think straight!
“You know, I think Pinkie mentioned something about Rainbow training Discord. Got no clue what that means though.”
“Training?” Twilight placed a hoof under her chin and pondered for a moment. “Hmm, I’ll have to ask her about it.”
After placing the last of the books on the top shelf, Spike jumped down from the ladder. “So, nopony else knows that the Princess is pregnant?”
“Nope. She wants to keep it a secret until the dinner, so don’t tell anypony!”
“Right! You can count on me!” Spike saluted in response, and then zipped his mouth shut.
Well… That secret is going to be out by the end of today…
“I’m starting to think I should reschedule the dinner…” Celestia mumbled, making sure to keep a steady pace so she wouldn’t be late for her next meeting.
“…And why is that?” Luna asked, taking her eyes off of the gorgeous paintings that lined the castle walls.
“Isn’t it obvious? Discord and his whole mid life crisis… He’s going to make me look like a fool!”
“It’s just Twilight Sparkle and her friends, so I wouldn’t be worried. I, for one, am very excited for the dinner. It’s going to be hilarious watching him make an idiot of himself!”
Celestia sighed as she stopped in front of the door to the meeting room. “Well, I’m glad you’re having fun, Luna! Because I’m not, and with the way Discord’s acting I’m going to be looking after this child all by myself…”
“Don’t be ridiculous, sister! Discord isn’t that irresponsible…” Luna thought for a moment before letting out a chuckle. “Well actually, he is!”
Celestia glared at her sister before entering the meeting room. She definitely wasn’t looking forward to the two hour report of Equestria’s rainfall that she was going to have to sit through…
“One! Two! Th- Oh, come on! You can only do two pushups?!” Rainbow Dash roared in frustration as she watched the struggling Draconequus.
“Well, I th-think… that’s pretty good!” Discord wheezed, lying on the ground in defeat.
“You really are old…” She rolled her eyes at him. “If you can’t do a few simple pushups, how do you expect to become cool?”
“Ha! You still got a long way to go, maggot! Now let’s see some more pushups!”
Discord went back to his pathetic attempts at exercise while Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie stood watching.
“You really think you can get him in shape by this weekend Dashie?”
“If I can get the weather team to make a tornado, I can whip Discord into shape! Now work those arms, weakling!” Rainbow Dash turned her attention back to the Draconequus, who was just on his third push up.
“And… thre-” Before he could raise himself up again, his arms gave out and he collapsed back onto the ground. The pegasus face-hoofed. “It might just take awhile, that’s all…”
“Now we move on to Princess Luna. You say there is something important you must notify us about?” A dark blue unicorn asked, looking up from the pile of papers on his desk.
Seeing that it was now her turn to speak, she walked to the center of the room and smiled at the stallion. All around her were extremely well dressed unicorns, staring at her with curious eyes. If there was one thing she hated about the Arcana council, it was that they thought they were better than everypony. Even the Princesses.
“Thank you. I’m glad I didn’t have to wait as long as usual…” She scowled before moving on. “You see, my sister Princess Celestia is going through some health issues right now, and-”
“-And what issues might those be?” The unicorn cut in, a quill busily scribbling beside him.
Grinding her teeth, Luna kept herself from lashing out at him. “She’s well… Pregnant…”
A dozen quills dropped simultaneously before an eerie silence filled the room. A bewildered-looking unicorn straightened her glasses and spoke up. “E-excuse me?”
“Pregnant… She’s only told me and Discord so far, and I’m not sure when she’s going to make it public.”
Swallowing loudly, the head unicorn went back to writing. Immediately, the entire room was filled with the scratching of quills on parchment.
“Anyway… Because of this, my sister is not supposed to perform magic. Not to mention the strain of raising the sun every morning is setting her off. We’ve talked, and we believe that we’ll give the Arcana Council the honor of raising the sun until she’s better.”
The dark blue unicorn smirked. Oh, how Luna wished she could just fire him and the whole dammed council. But according to Celestia, they were “imperative” to the kingdom…
“The Arcana Council will gladly take responsibility of raising the sun. Now, if you could please hurry along, Princess; we have important matters to attend to.”
He has matters to attend to?! Oh, if only I could throw just one right hook… Holding back her rage, Luna left the council chamber. Then she started to make her way to the castle gardens. What she needed right now was some relaxation time.
Fate however seemed to have a different plan for her. As soon as she turned the corner, she was met with the ear piercing sound of Discord’s mechanical contraption. The Draconequus was racing down the hallway, a servant having to leap out of the way to avoid being run over.
As he reached the end of the hallway and Luna, he slammed his hoof down on the break. Stepping off of the bike he smirked at his sister in law. “Well, if it isn’t Princess Luna and her fat flank. Where are you headed to? The buffet table?”
Of all the things she needed right now, this was the very last thing on her list. She almost took a swing at him, but an idea crossed her mind and she couldn’t help but smile. “You know Discord… you sure look cool…” She stated, stifling back a laugh.
“Ha, I don’t need seniors like you telling me I look cool. I know I'm cool after all."
Luna was forced to place a hoof on her mouth to keep from bursting out in laughter. Him driving around looking like an idiot was one thing, but actually thinking he was cool while doing it was just icing on the cake. “Oh yeah, because it’s just so cool when old ponies try to act like the new generation… I think your growing some grey hairs there Discord!”
“W-what?!” He broke his cool for a second as he ran a claw through his mane. However, he quickly returned to his new attitude. “Oh, real funny Luna… I’ve had enough of hanging out with losers like you. Peace!” He mounted his bike and sped down the hallway, leaving Luna coughing in a cloud of black exhaust.
“Oh, you just run, Discord…” Luna said, rubbing her hooves together mischievously. “…Because this weekend, I’m going to make you lose your cool, and I’ll finally have my revenge!” She broke out into an evil laugh, until a passing servant gave her an odd look. She responded with an awkward chuckle, and then hurried down the hall.
“Pinkie, you’ve really out done yourself this time! These eh-clairs are amazing!” Applejack grinned, happily grabbing a few more off of the tray in front of her.
“They’re pronounced éclairs , Applejack.” Twilight quickly corrected, also grabbing another for herself.
“Ah know, that’s what ah said.” The cowpony replied, her mouth full of chocolate.
Pinkie Pie placed the tray down on the table and bounced back over to the counter. “No problem guys! I’m always happy to make treats for my friends!”
“Oh, it’s too bad Rarity couldn’t come… She would certainly love these…” Fluttershy said weakly as she nibbled at her food.
“Well, she’s still trying to find something to wear to the dinner. I don’t understand what she’s so worked up about, though. It’s just going to be us, the Princess’s and Discord.” Twilight replied, now done eating. She returned to her book.
Almost as if on cue, the door to Sugarcube Corner was literally thrown off its hinges and Discord came roaring in, a rainbow colored pegasus flying right behind him.
“Yo.” Was all he said as he got off of his bike and walked over to their table.
The loud noise of the motorcycle had scared Fluttershy, and she was cowering in fear under the table. Applejack was on the floor laughing, and Twilight was trying to get back to her book.
“Hey Discord and Rainbow Dash! Want an éclair?” Pinkie Pie asked, holding up a tray almost as if nothing had just happened.
“Is that you, Discord?!” Applejack said in between laughs. “Twilight said you looked ridiculous, but Ah would never imagine somethin’ like this! Bwahaha!” Discord merely glared at Applejack through his glasses for a moment before looking away.
Rainbow Dash frowned at her. “What? Discord looks 100% cool, thanks to yours truly of course.”
“I-I-Is the monster gone?” Fluttershy squeaked as she poked her head out from under the table.
“Oh, there’s no monster, Fluttershy! It’s just Discord!” Pinkie Pie said, carrying a fresh tray of éclairs over to them.
“Oh, well he certainly looks um… different?”
“Different? He’s the epitome of cool! Well, maybe not quite that cool… But he will be soon! Right Discord?”
“Oh yeah.” Discord nodded back.
Finally giving up on getting any reading done, Twilight slammed her book shut and placed it on the table. “So, this is what your teaching Discord? How to be cool?”
“Yep, and while he’s not the fittest of ponies, he sure is picking it up fast! Just wait and see him at the Princess dinner this weekend!”
“Hey RD, what do you say we blow this joint? I’ve had enough of losers laughing at me…” Discord remarked, glaring at Applejack again.
“Ugh, alright! We got more training to do anyway!”
Discord started up his motorcycle again, causing Fluttershy to take cover under the table again. He flew out of the store with Rainbow Dash following.
“Wait… did he just call me the loser?! Hahaha!” Applejack broke out into another fit of laughter.
I’m sure the Princess isn’t going to appreciate this. Twilight thought silently to herself, picking her book back up. I just hope that he doesn’t give her some sort of mental breakdown. She’s got enough on her plate as it is…
Discord, Out of Control
“Hmm…. Yes, everything seems to be in perfect order!” The doctor stated, pulling the cool metal stethoscope off of Celestia’s stomach.
“Well, that’s a relief!” The Princess sighed. “I was afraid the morphine might have done something to the foal!”
“Nope!” The doctor grinned. Turning away from her, he scribbled a few things on a chart. “I believe your body was able to process all of it before it reached the foal; it’s remarkable really!”
Celestia leaned back against the wall and stared through the one small window of the office. She could only see a few ponies moving along the crowded street, going about their business as always. Well, that’s a load off of my shoulders, but then there’s still Discord to worry about... He hasn’t changed a bit and the dinner party’s tonight…
“That’s it for this checkup!” The doctor declared as he grabbed a bottle from one of the cabinets. “Now this is another bottle of morphine, and I trust that you won’t ingest all of it at once like last time…”
Celestia blushed a dark red before she snatched the bottle from his hooves. “Thanks…” She hissed before rushing out of the office.
The doctor poked his head out of the door and waved down the hall. “Goodbye, Princess! Next week you’ll be finding out the gender of your baby! I’m so excited!”
Wow, that actually is pretty exciting! I wonder what it’ll be? Oh, I always dreamt about having a daughter as a little filly… But I suppose a son wouldn’t be too bad, Discord would probably like that a lot more. The thought actually made her giggle; Discord having bonding time with their son. They could play catch in the back yard! Well, I imagine Discord would play some sort of chaotic, messed up version of catch.
Celestia was so immersed in her thoughts that she practically ran over a stallion. He cursed in annoyance before looking up at the Princess; an even angrier look crossed his face.
“Princess Celestia! Just the pony I wanted to see!” He snapped, tapping his hoof against the ground. His coat was a light brown, and tattooed on his flank was a dollar sign. A large, bushy brown mustache ran along his lip.
Great… Just the very last pony I wanted to see… “What is it this time, Senator Green?” She mumbled while rolling her eyes. The senator went by the sole name Green, probably because of his love of money; she doubted he had ever told any pony his real name. He was a very angry unicorn that hailed from Manehattan where he had once run a very large business. He still had huge amounts of money, and because of that, he believed he could boss everypony around.
“Your stupid husband, that’s what! He interrupted a debate yesterday! He crashed in with that loud, annoying thing he’s always riding now and made a mockery of the government! Papers everywhere! Ponies running all about! A frightful mess, as you can imagine.”
“…And what do you want me to do about it?”
Senator Green snarled at how little interest she was paying to him. “Kick him out of the damn castle! Banish him from the Kingdom! Seal him back in stone! I don’t care which! Just get rid of him!” The unicorn shouted, his anger reaching further and further heights. Celestia was surprised that he hadn’t had a heart attack by now, what with all the yelling he always did.
“Listen Senator… Just calm down a bit, Discord isn’t that bad…”
“Not that bad?! NOT THAT BAD?!” He blustered, his face turning darker and darker shades of purple.
“I am not in the mood for this, got it? I have a dinner party tonight and Discord’s probably going to ruin it. So why don’t you go find somepony else to yell at?” Celestia stated, now thoroughly annoyed with the pony. With that she pushed past the angry unicorn and continued down the street.
He was left spluttering, hardly believing that she had just walked past him in the middle of his rant.
“Come on, Spike, we don’t have all day here!” Twilight said, impatiently tapping her hoof against the floor.
“Well, what if they don’t have anything I like?” Spike asked as he searched through his own personal horde of rubies, emeralds and sapphires. When he found one that looked particularly appetizing, he would throw it into a bag which was already full of sparkling gems.
“I’m sure they’ll have plenty of gems, Spike! This is the Princess we’re talking about!”
“But we spent over an hour packing all those books for you! Why can’t I pack what I want?”
“I need those books, though! I can’t waste a single minute that I could be studying!”
Spike rolled his eyes at her. Now, seeing that he had packed a sufficient amount of gems, he closed the bag shut and rushed down the flight of stairs. “Alright, I’m ready now. Was that so hard?”
Twilight glared at him, obviously annoyed. “We’re four minutes late! We should be on our way to Sugarcube Corner right now!” She hurried outside, the baby dragon trailing behind her.
“Well, I’m sure the others aren’t all there yet…” Spike commented as they began walking down the street. “Hey, is Discord coming with us?”
“No, he’s already at Canterlot. Causing some sort of chaos, probably… I doubt Rainbow Dash realizes what she’s created here…”
“What? He’s not that bad. I mean, he does look incredibly stupid, but it’s not like he’s hurting anypony!”
“Well, Spike…” Twilight began while she went over her checklist for the fourth time. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s sort of acting like his old self. Not his personality, but that he doesn’t care about anypony! I’m afraid he might go back to his old chaotic ways…”
Spike couldn’t help but laugh, which earned him a cold glare. “Really Twilight, you should stop worrying about things! Remember when they were going to get married? You thought he hadn’t changed at all, and look where that got you!”
“I thought we agreed to never talk about that…” She quickly hissed. They dropped the conversation there as they came to the entrance of Sugarcube Corner.
Standing in front of the bakery were four ponies; Pinkie Pie, whose saddlebags were full of baked goods, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity.
“Oh, there you are, darling! Really, it’s not like you to be late…” Rarity commented as they walked over to the group.
“You can thank him.” Twilight replied sharply, nodding to Spike. “Anyway, it doesn’t look like Rainbow Dash is here yet.”
“Nope!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “I’m sure she’ll be here soon, though. Heck, the chariots haven’t even arrived yet!”
“Well, that’s just great…” Twilight mumbled in frustration. “That pretty much ruins the whole schedule I planned out… I just hope she gets here soon…”
True to what Pinkie had said, Rainbow Dash showed up in matter of minutes. Not long after she arrived, two golden chariots swooped down from the sky, each of them being controlled by two armored pegasi.
They split up and piled into both chariots; Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Spike and Pinkie Pie going into the first, while the others climbed aboard the second. The guards kicked off from the ground and started the short journey to Canterlot.
“Well, I suppose we’re not too far behind schedule…” Twilight said as she looked over her notepad.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at the bookworm. “Really, Twilight? Do you have to plan out everything?! I mean, can’t we just go to Canterlot and kill some time before dinner? I’m sure we can find something to do…”
“Do you know how unorganized that is?!” She snapped at her. “We’d lose time looking for something to do! Not only that, but it’s so disorderly and chaotic! You’re no better than Discord…”
“Don’t tell me you still haven’t gotten over him! I thought you sorted all that out after you went crazy…” Rainbow Dash snickered, which caused Twilight to bare her teeth in annoyance.
“It’s not that… I’m just worried about what you’re teaching him. He’s turning back into his old self…”
Rainbow Dash burst out into laughter at this point, and Twilight gave her a confused look. “Ha! Don’t worry about it Twilight, believe me…”
“…And why’s that?” Twilight raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well…” Rainbow Dash lowered her voice slightly, like she was afraid somepony would hear them. This was ridiculous obviously, as it was just the four of them flying through the air. “I’m not exactly teaching Discord to be cool…”
“What?! But, where he’s getting all these stupid ideas from?” Both Twilight and Spike asked.
“Well, me, but he’s not doing what I would say is ‘cool’. You see, when he came to me for help I knew I could never teach him to actually be cool! He’s way too old! Not only that, but it took years to get where I am! You can’t just get there in a few days!”
Twilight rolled her eyes at her friend’s enormous amount of self confidence.
“So, instead of actually teaching him the real stuff, I just made up a bunch of junk! All I really want is a day with the Wonderbolts, so I couldn’t care less if he gets through this ‘midlife crisis’ or not.”
“So you’re lying to him? Rainbow, Discord is going through a really tough time right now. I don’t think what you did was such a good idea…” Twilight said, completely stunned that her friend had acted so selfishly.
“It’s just a little fun, Twilight, lighten up! You do have to admit, he looks ridiculous! You can’t imagine how hard it was to keep a straight face when I was teaching him all that stuff!” Rainbow Dash snickered, unable to keep herself from laughing.
Well, what’s done is done. I just hope Discord doesn’t hold on to this idea of being ‘cool’ for very long…
“Dashie!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “I thought we were helping Discord! Not making him look stupid!”
“Well, in his mind he thinks he’s cool so in a way, I did help him!”
Pinkie Pie pondered the statement for a moment, and eventually seemed content. It did seem like she was very concerned for Discord, and genuinely wanted to help him get through this.
“Look! There’s Canterlot!” Spike shouted, his claw pointed towards the towering spires of the royal city. They all turned to one side and gazed at the city. No matter how many times Twilight saw it, it never ceased to amaze her. The chariot lost some altitude and began slowing down. After a few moments, they stopped in a cleared area and stumbled out of the chariots.
“Alright, the Princess told me to see her right after we arrived. Meet me back here in…” Twilight paused to look at her precious schedule. “…Thirty three minutes and forty-seven seconds!”
As Twilight paced down one of the ornate halls of Canterlot Castle, she heard a loud scream echo through the building. Worried, she hurried to the end of the hall and kicked open the door to the Princess’s study.
Lying around a mess of papers was a distressed looking Alicorn, who was breathing heavily and it looked like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Upon hearing the door open, she looked over and breathed a sigh of relief. “Twilight! Thank goodness you’re here…”
The unicorn quickly rushed to her teacher’s side. “Princess! What’s wrong?”
Celestia got to her hooves and looked her straight in the eye. “Everything! Discord’s causing chaos around the castle, the Arcana Council is sending me dozens of complaints about how busy they are, a very angry senator is bothering me every other minute, and the dinner plans are a complete disaster!”
Never before had Twilight seen the Princess is such distress. She was usually so composed and calm. But there was a lot of stress on her; any lesser pony would have broken long ago. “Don’t worry, Princess, it’s okay. If there’s anything I can help with, just tell me.”
“Thank you, Twilight.” The Princess smiled at her and it felt like some of the pressure was relieved. “If you could get Discord out of the castle, that’d be great. He’s turned the entire east wing into a racing track for that bike of his, and it’s impossible for anypony to get anything done over there!”
“You can count on me, Princess!” Twilight saluted before teleporting out of the room. Celestia let out a sigh before she began searching through the piles of papers. Pausing a moment, she grabbed the bottle of morphine and popped a few of the pills into her mouth. That’s good Celly, pace yourself. Don’t want to go all crazy like last time… Well, at least that’d relieve all this stress I’m going through right now!
Just as Twilight had predicted, she had found Pinkie in one of the sweet shops in Canterlot. After a quick explanation, she teleported the two of them back to the castle, and began prowling the halls for the Draconequus.
“So, why do you need my help, Twilight?” Pinkie asked as they turned another corner. The halls were all deserted for some reason.
“Because, you’re Discord’s best friend! I’m sure he’ll listen to you.” Twilight replied before they turned another corner. They found the following hallway very different from the others. Instead of expensive carpet, they found the floor to be black and paved. A white line ran through the middle of it, giving the impression of a race track. “I guess Discord is bound to be around here somewhere…”
They continued along the track, and as they went they found the road becoming more and more distorted. It began running along the walls, and at one point it was even on the ceiling. They didn’t question any of this, however, as the Draconequus tended to defy logic.
“Discord? Discord?” The two mares called out as they went. Before long, they heard the revving of Discord’s motorcycle, and he came flying from around a corner. He came to a sudden stop in front of the two mares. He raised his sunglasses and looked at them. “Twilight! Pinkie! Ayyy!”
Twilight face hoofed, as that was by far the lamest thing he had done so far. What was he going to do next, hit a jukebox to make it turn on?
“Discord… Please no, just stop… Please…”
The Draconequus looked shocked and hurt. “What? You don’t like the cool new me? Like I needed your approval anyway…” He crossed his arms and looked away from her. “As if you know what cool is! You’re the most nerdy pony I know!”
“Hey, I’m not nerdy! I just like books, that’s all…” Twilight quickly responded.
“Yeah, Discord! That’s not very nice.” Pinkie Pie pouted.
Discord laughed. “Rainbow Dash told me cool ponies make fun of other ponies, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do! Pinkie, you should lay off the sweets! You’re starting to get a little tubby!”
“Hey!” Pinkie Pie frowned, looking wounded. “I’m not fat…” She looked at her flank, frowning again.
“…And Twilight! Try getting your head out of those books and talking to somepony for once! Although, with a face like that, you’re not going to get much…” Discord snickered.
“Now that’s just downright mean!” Twilight quickly snapped. “Now turn the east wing back to normal! Your wife is having a mental breakdown right now!”
“Heh, that’s not gonna happen anytime soon. I’m having a great time ridding on my track, and I’m not going to let old Celly ruin my fun! See ya, egghead and fatty!” Discord started his motorcycle back up and sped down the hallway, leaving both Twilight and Pinkie with angry looks.
“Egghead?” The unicorn questioned, the words taking a moment to sink in.
“Fatty?” The pink pony asked, and a long silence followed.
“No pony calls me fat! No more misses nice Pinkie!” Pinkie pie growled, turning to Twilight with a very serious look.
“Pinkie, get the net. We have a Draconequus to catch! ” She snapped, nodding towards her friend.
“I’m sure he’s got to be around here somewhere… Discord, where are you?!” Twilight yelled down the distorted hallway they had just entered. They knew they were nearing the Draconequus, as the hallways were becoming more and more confusing. Everything was upside down now, and the two mares were walking along the empty ceiling.
“Is the net ready, Pinkie?” Twilight asked, turning to the earth pony behind her.
“Yes, ma’am!” The pink pony replied, a large net dragging along behind her.
“Good. So, this is the plan. When Discord comes along, you throw the net up there…” She pointed to the track below them. “…er, down there… Argh! This place is driving me crazy!”
While Twilight tried to figure out just where up and down were, Discord turned the corner and sped down the hallway. Seeing her chance, Pinkie Pie dropped the net. Gravity should have pulled the net down and trapped the Draconequus, but because of his reality breaking magic, it stopped halfway and fell back down on the mares, trapping them.
“Ha! Nice one, girls! Better luck next time! Bwahaha!” Discord turned back for a moment to taunt them. He turned another corner and disappeared from sight.
“Nice one, Pinkie…” Twilight remarked sarcastically, her hooves flailing in a vain attempt to break free from the net.
“Well, sorry for doing what you told me to do!” Pinkie Pie screamed back.
Twilight stopped her struggling and let out a sigh. After a moment of concentrating, the net glowed a light purple and lifted off of them. She threw it to the side before slamming her hoof against the ground. “If Discord thinks were going to give up this easily, he’s got another thing coming!”
“Alright, Pinkie. That should be deep enough!” Twilight called down the large hole in front of her.
Pinkie Pie let out an exhausted sigh before throwing her dull shovel to the side. Using her excellent acrobatic skills, she leaped out of the hole and landed beside Twilight.
“Hehe,” Twilight grinned, rubbing her hooves together mischievously, “Discord won’t know what hit him!” The unicorn pulled out a black tarp out of seemingly nowhere and placed it over the hole, efficiently camouflaging it. “Now all we have to do is wait…”
“Uh, Twilight? Why is there dirt under the floor anyway? Isn’t this all made of stone?” Pinkie Pie asked, tapping the ground with her hoof.
“Discord turned part of this place upside down, and you think THAT’S confusing?! Just hide behind the bush over there. This will work perfectly…” Twilight ordered before the two jumped behind it. They sat quietlu for a few minutes, watching the empty hallway cautiously.
Before long, Discord came racing down the hallway, and the two mares watched with excitement as he neared their pitfall. Twilight let out a victorious cheer when he reached it… however… the Draconequus passed over it as if it were solid ground.
“WHAT?!” She blustered before jumping out of the bush and rushing over to the hole. “How is that even possible?!” She asked in disbelief, looking from the pitfall to Discord, who had stepped off of his bike. Twilight cautiously placed her hoof onto the tarp. Feeling that it was stable, she walked onto it.
Pinkie Pie jumped out of her cover and hurried over to the unicorn. “Hey, I thought you said this would work!” She scolded at Twilight before stepping on to the pitfall. The ground immediately gave out, and the two mares landed at the bottom of the deep hole in a heap.
“HA!” Discord poked his head over the side and laughed at the two mares. “What did I tell you, Pinkie? You’re getting fat!” He taunted before leaving them.
Pinkie Pie slowly got to her hooves, and looked at Twilight with a scowl. The unicorn jumped back as she looked at her friend. Her usual poofy hair was now completely straight, and she gave off a very frightening appearance.
“Uh, P-P-Pinkie? Are you alright?”
“Oh, I’m just fine, Twilight…” She replied calmly, her mouth turning into a creepy grin. “I’M JUST TRAPPED DOWN A HOLE BECAUSE OF YOU!” She snarled, starling Twilight once again.
“Pinkie, maybe you should calm down a second and th-”
“NO! I’m in charge from now on! Got it, Twilight? I’ve have enough of your stupid plans!”
Oh, this isn’t good… Rainbow Dash told me she was acting like this before, back when she thought we hated her parties… If so, who knows what she’ll do next… Twilight thought while she cautiously watched the pink pony.
Pinkie Pie gave her another creepy grin before continuing. “Just watch, Discord is going to regret ever calling me fat! Hehe...”
Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, bringing Pinkie along…
“Uh… sister? Are you alright?” Luna asked as she pushed open the door to Celestia’s study. The room was a mess of papers, and the Sun Princess was in the middle of it.
“Luna?” Celestia said before looking up from a stack of papers. “Please, leave me alone! I have enough to worry about as it is…” She pleaded while rubbing her aching head with one hoof. The last thing she needed was her sister complaining about something.
“Why would you ever think that I’d bother you? I was just wondering how long it would be before dinner, that’s all…” Luna said innocently, trying her best to keep back her devilish smile.
“Never, at this rate!” She shouted, startling Luna. “Because of Discord, the cooks can’t even start the meal! I’ve got Twilight trying to fix the east wing, but I doubt she’s having very much luck…”
“What?! But you can’t cancel this! I have so much planned- er… I mean, I was so excited!” Luna let an awkward laugh.
Celestia shook her head as she returned to her papers. “Well, unless he puts the east wing back anytime soon, I’ll have to. Maybe this is better anyway; all he would have done was embarrass me…”
Before Luna could reply, a knock came at the door, and then a guard quickly rushed in. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna! There’s an urgent problem in the east wing!” He wheezed, holding his aching chest.
Celestia sighed. “Luna, could you please take care of this? I have way too much to do right now…”
“Fine, but this dinner is happening! I assure you of that, sister!” Luna declared before following the armored guard out of the room.
“PINKIE! Don’t you think this is going a little too far?!” Twilight yelled as she watched the roaring flames climb higher and higher along the walls.
“Nope! This is war Twilight, and he called me fat!” Pinkie Pie barked back as she admired her work. The fire she started had already grown at a tremendous rate, and was consuming more and more of the hallway by the second. Before long it would engulf the entire castle.
“So you’re burning down the castle?! I want to stop Discord too, but this is just crazy!”
Pinkie Pie cackled before turning to Twilight. “I’m in charge here, Twilight, remember?! Now just sit back and let me handle this…”
Her friend was really scaring her at this point, as she had never seen Pinkie so angry… or crazy. She wanted to do something, but she was afraid of what Pinkie would do if she tried to stop her.
“I’m sure Discord will get here any second…” Pinkie Pie said after a minute of watching the dancing flames. They had consumed the entire hallway by now and were still spreading. The temperature in the room continued to climb, and Twilight had to repeatedly wipe the sweat from her forehead.
“Pinkie, just how is setting the castle on fire going to stop Discord?! We have to stop this now, before it burns the entire castle down!” Twilight pleaded, hoping to get anything from her insane friend.
The pink pony turned away from the flames and growled at Twilight. “As soon as Discord sees this, he’ll show up, and then we just make him fix everything! It’s full proof, unlike your stupid plans!”
Before Twilight could question her friend’s ridiculous plan, she heard the sound of running hooves. She spun around, and sure enough two ponies ran into the hall. The first was a pegasus in golden armor, and the second was none other than Princess Luna. Her jaw dropped upon the sight of the huge flames.
“WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS GOING ON HERE?!” She yelled, looking from Twilight to Pinkie Pie.
“Uh, P-P-Princess Luna! Well, we were just trying to… uh… catch Discord, and… well…” Twilight stuttered, her voice becoming weaker as she talked.
“Set the castle on fire?! Really, Twilight Sparkle, I would imagine you would have a better plan then this…” Luna shook her head at her, giving her a disappointed frown.
“But this wasn’t me! This was Pinkie; she went crazy when Discord called her fat!” Twilight leaned and lowered her voice to a quiet whisper. “I’m no psychiatrist, but I think she’s a little sensitive about her weight…”
“So, she decides to burn down the castle?! Celestia tells me that I overreact to things, but this is just ridiculous!”
At this point, Pinkie was happily skipping in a circle, watching with a grin as the fire continued to grow.
“Well, don’t just stand there!” Luna barked at Twilight. “Let’s put this out!”
“Um… well, that’s the problem, your highness…” The unicorn replied timidly. “I’m not really sure what Pinkie will do if we put this out. She started this just because Discord called her fat after all! I’m scared of her, to be honest…”
Luna sighed and shook her head. “Scared of your own friend, Twilight? Fine, step aside. Let me handle this, for I’m not afraid of a simple earth pony.” The alicorn pushed her to the side and stopped in front of Pinkie.
“Oh, hey there, Princess!” Pinkie Pie smiled and turned to Luna, noticing her for the first time. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked, turning back to the fire.
“While I certainly want to get some payback on Discord, burning down the castle is not the way to do it. I’m fixing this immediately, and I don’t care what you-”
Before Luna could put out the fire with her magic, a flash filled the air and they all turned to look at the surprised Draconequus who had appeared. He pulled off his shades and looked at the flames with wide eyes. “THIS is your plan, Twilight? Burning down the castle?! Geez, and I thought I was insane…”
With lightning speed Pinkie Pie pounced at him, and they two of them crashed against the ground. She forced her face against his and snarled. “SO, I’M FAT HUH?! TAKE IT BACK!”
“P-P-Pinkie?” Discord stuttered, scared to death of the pink pony. “I d-d-didn’t mean it, promise!”
“I don’t believe you!” She growled while giving him a cold stare.
“I’m s-sorry! You’re not fat; in fact, you’re the thinnest pony I know!” Discord quickly yelled, which caused Luna's jaw to drop. She had never once heard the Draconequus apologize for something he had done, so she could hardly believe what he had just said.
“You’re going to fix all of this, and you’re going to stop acting all lame too, you got that?!”
After a moment of thinking Discord sighed. “Fine… I won’t make fun of anypony anymore, and I’ll stop acting cool… But I’m not taking off the jacket!”
She eyed him fiercely, and after a moment Discord sighed again. “Alright, I won’t wear the jacket either…”
Upon hearing that, Pinkie Pie’s hair returned to its usual poofy appearance. She jumped off of the Draconequus’s chest and walked over to Twilight, grinning as she went. “See, Twilight? I told you it would work!” She chirped with her voice no longer creepy.
Twilight’s jaw dropped. Her friend never ceased to surprise her… “So, are you going to fix this, Discord?” She asked, turning to the still stunned Draconequus.
“Huh?” He glanced over at her. “Oh… uh, yes…” He snapped his talons, and immediately the fire disappeared and the hallway returned to its previous state.
Twilight sighed, happy to finally see the east wing back to normal. “Right, now that that’s done with…” She glanced over at a nearby clock, and nearly had a heart attack. “Oh no! I was supposed to meet the others twenty minutes ago! Let’s go, Pinkie!” She grabbed Pinkie by the hoof and rushed out of the hallway. This left Discord, Luna and the lone guard in a rather awkward air.
“So… see you at dinner?” Discord asked while twiddling his fingers.
“Um… yes…” Luna replied. The Draconequus teleported away, and she began the walk to her room. Along the way, she thought about how this new change would affect her plans of revenge…
Well, this changes things quite a bit. With Discord back to his old self, it’ll be hard to get some payback, but I think I can still manage. I have to say, it was funny watching how scared he was of Pinkie Pie! I’ve never seen him so worried in my life!
“Hmm, this is rather peculiar… It’s not like Twilight to be late…” Rarity commented after taking a glance at the clock tower in the distance. She turned away from the city and looked at her friends, who were all simply lying on the lush green grass of the royal gardens.
“Well, Ah’m sure she’ll be along anytime now. The Princess is probably just tellin’ her somethin’ important, that’s all!”Applejack assured as she took a peak from under her Stetson hat that she had been napping under.
“Yeah, Rarity, what kind of trouble could Twilight get in to in Canterlot? I’m sure she’s just fine.” Fluttershy said as she watched a nearby squirrel run up a tree. She frowned. For some reason, the animals had been running just at the sight of her. She thought that perhaps they still remembered that one night were she had gotten just a little too excited with them.
“Oh, I’m sure she’s quite fine, I’m just surprised that she’s off of that schedule of hers!” Rarity said, baffled by the fact that Twilight had been late for once. “Still, I hope she gets back soon. I can’t wait for this dinner!”
“Pssh, what’s so great about some fancy dinner? Sure, they’ll probably have some killer food but it’ll be boring. I came here to see Canterlot, not eat!” Rainbow Dash butted in as she once again descended from the sky. She had been practicing her tricks since they had arrived at the gardens, as she was eager to show them to the Wonderbolts when she finally got her day with them.
“You must be joking! We’re having dinner with the royal sisters! Do you realize how prestigious this is?” Rarity snapped as she frowned at the pegasus. “Even some of the most famous celebrities like Hoity Toity and Sapphire Shores never get a chance like this!”
“Well, I don’t see what’s so great about it… I’d much rather meet the Wonderbolts!”
“Of course you would…” Rarity remarked while rolling her eyes.
“Hey, what was that supposed to mean?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, rushing over to the white unicorn.
“Would you two kindly be quiet? Some of us are trying to sleep, ya know…” Applejack mumbled, annoyed by their constant bickering.
Before they could say anything to respond, two ponies appeared out of thin air. They smiled upon the sight of Twilight and Pinkie Pie, and instantly forgot about their feud.
“Oh, I’m so sorry for being late, girls!” Twilight quickly apologized, genuinely sorry for being off schedule. “The Princess had me do something for her, and let’s just say it got a little out of control…”
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad!” Pinkie Pie giggled in a happy tone, almost as if she had forgotten that she had tried to burn down the castle.
“Can we just go already, Darling?! I can hardly wait for this dinner!” Rarity quickly cut in, her impatience clearly audibly.
“Oh, right! We don’t want to be any later then we are, so let’s get going!” Twilight nodded before leading the group down the gardens and towards the Castle.
“I don’t know how, but we actually did it! Everything’s actually ready, and I still can’t believe that Discord’s back to normal! I’ll definitely have to thank Twilight and her friend again…” Celestia sighed in relaxation as she finally put away her mess of papers that had been plaguing her study. Luna stood a few feet away, watching her sister with genuine boredom.
“Oh yes, it’s just so great that the spirit of chaos is back to his old, annoying self…” Luna mumbled whilst rolling her eyes.
“Oh, come on, Luna! When will you two stop fighting? It’s been almost four months since we’ve gotten married and you two are still at each other’s throats!” Celestia snapped, finally fed up with their eternal rivalry. “Start acting more like a princess, and less like a little bratty filly!”
Luna stood dumbfounded with her mouth ajar, completely surprised at her sister’s sudden outburst. “W-w-well…” She stuttered, still at a loss for words. After a moment of thought she wiped the surprised expression from her face and continued. “He’s the one who always starts everything! Believe me, sister, I would love to stop this, but he just won’t let it end!”
Her sister’s words only served to infuriate Celestia even more and she began lecturing her in a very stern, mother-like tone. “How about you be the bigger mare here and just ignore him! Don’t forget that you were at least partially responsible for what happened to him all those years ago! He’s forgiven you for that, so why can’t you forgive him for the petty pranks he’s pulled?”
Luna thought about her sister’s words for a moment, then frowned. She had forgotten about that, as that event had been completely overshadowed by her later transformation into Nightmare Moon. She’s… She’s right… Discord’s never once brought up what I did to him, nor has he held any resentment towards me… Maybe it is time for us to end this feud…
Lune looked up from the elegant carpet she had been starting at, and smiled at her sister. “Alright. I’ll stop bothering him, but I want you to talk to him if he pranks me again!”
Celestia smiled back, finally glad that her sister had seen her point. “Fine, now should we head off to dinner?”
“Oh! Oh! What do you think we’ll be eating? Something fancy and expensive no doubt, but I wonder what it will be? When you lived here, what did you eat, Twilight? Did you eat with the Princess? Oh, that must have been so amazing…” Rarity continued to ramble on as they waited.
“Rarity,” Twilight said, stopping the unicorn’s endless chain of questions, “Could you stop with the questions and just wait? You’re giving me a headache…”
Rarity blushed a deep red and quickly apologized. “Oh, I’m sorry, dear… I’m just excited, that’s all! It’s not every day we get to dine with the Princesses…”
The group of them stood outside the dining hall, waiting patiently for the Princesses to arrive. Rainbow Dash was propped against a wall, half asleep. Pinkie Pie was bouncing around admiring the art along the walls, with Applejack in tow trying to stop her from touching said priceless art. Fluttershy was simply standing there patiently as she always did, and Spike was beside Twilight, gazing at Rarity.
Hmm… The Princess usually isn’t this late… did something go wrong? Twilight thought to herself after another few minutes of waiting. Just when she was about to go check on her teacher, she spotted her coming down the hallway. The rest of her friends stopped whatever they were doing and waited patiently as Celestia and her sister made their way over to them.
“It’s great to see all of you here!” Celestia greeted with a heartwarming smile. “I apologize for how late we are, but it took me awhile to finish arranging the dinner.”
“Oh, it’s no problem, Princess!” Twilight beamed, stepping in front of her friends.
“You haven’t been waiting that long, have you?”
“Only about an hour. It’s alright though; it didn’t mess up my schedule too much…”
After a moment of looking over all of her student’s friends, Celestia smiled then pushed open the large doors of the dining room. “Well, let’s not waste anymore time, then!”
Everypony’s jaw dropped aside from Twilight and Spike’s, as they had already seen the grand dining hall several dozen times. For the other ponies, however, it was truly a sight to behold. It was far bigger than any other room they had ever seen, as it looked like it could easily fit a thousand ponies. Three massive windows sat at the end of the room, offering a spectacular view of the city and castle grounds below. Not only that, but decorations covered practically every inch of the room, and in the center sat a huge table that stretched across the room.
“Obviously, we only use this for parties and such, as it’s much too big to normally eat in.” Celestia stated as she lead the way forward. Seats were already set at one part of the table, and dozens of servants were scurrying around with plates of food. The seven of them sat at their assigned seats, and then the Princesses took their spots. Twilight grinned as she noticed she was right beside her teacher, and on her other side was Spike.
Princess Celestia glanced around the room a few times, a confused expression on her face. “Hmm… where’s Discord? I thought you said he was coming to dinner?” She asked, turning to her sister.
“I have no idea, he said he’d come!” Luna said with an innocent look.
A loud pop echoed through the room, and they all looked over to see that the Draconequus had appeared. He slumped into his spot across from Luna and sighed.
“Ah, Discord!” Celestia grinned, “We were just talking about you!” He replied with a simple grunt, which she found odd, but quickly ignored it. “Anyway, I’m sure you’re all starved, let’s eat!”
At that, the servants lifted up the many trays along the table, revealing all sorts of delicious food. Rainbow Dash’s mouth immediately began to water, and she quickly began to shovel food onto her plate. The others soon followed, and then the room was filled with the sounds of clinking silverware and chewing.
“So Applejack, Twilight’s told me your family just finished your Cider season. From what I’ve heard, it’s quite amazing. Is there anything special you do?” Celestia asked as she chewed on a bland piece of lettuce. Much to her annoyance the doctor told her she had been eating just a bit too much and that it’d be better if she cut down on her consumption. This also meant getting rid of the junk food she loved so much.
“Aw, nothin’ but plenty of love and care, Princess! Our apple cider’s the best in Equestria, because we don’t rush it!” Applejack replied as she looked at her silverware with an unsure frown. There was at least a dozen forks, and she had absolutely no idea where to start.
“Well, I’ll simply have to try it some time! maybe I could come down next cider season? As long as you have enough, that is.”
At the end of the table sat Rarity and Rainbow Dash, and the unicorn kept shooting the pegasus glares because of her ghastly table manners. It reached a breaking point, however, when she began drinking out of a bowl beside.
“That’s for washing your hooves, not drinking, you uncouth animal!” Rarity snapped, causing the entire table to look at them.
“Well, sorry that I don’t know all this stupid junk! It’s just water, what does it matter?!” Rainbow Dash replied with a scowl.
“It’s disgusting and uncivilized, that’s what! I can’t believe you would embarrass me like this in front of the Princesses…” Rarity slumped back into her seat with a blush.
Much too ever pony’s surprise, Celestia laughed. “Oh, its fine! She is right, after all. It is just water.” She stated before taking a sip out of her own bowl. They all broke into laughter except for Rarity, who was now blushing even more profoundly.
Shortly after that, several discussions broke out along the table between whoever was sitting closest. Twilight and the Princess were discussing something, Pinkie Pie was trying to explain to Luna what muffins were but she simply couldn’t grasp the concept as they hadn’t existed a thousand years ago, and Applejack was constantly asking Rarity which piece of silverware she should use next. The only one who wasn’t talking was Discord, who, much to Celestia’s surprise, hadn’t said a word.
“So, pray tell, what does one put in these ‘muffins’?” Luna asked with a confused expression.
“Oh, you can put pretty much everything in them! You can put chocolate chips, strawberries, blueberries…” Pinkie began listing every sort of fruit, and the Princess silently wished she hadn’t asked the question. These conversations continued until every pony had eaten, and just before they brought out desert, Celestia spoke up.
“I’d just like to thank all of you for coming. I’ve had a great time seeing my favorite student and all her friends!” Celestia beamed as she looked over all of them. “I have an announcement to make that a few of you already know…” Her voice trailed off as she looked at Twilight and her sister.
“You see… I’m pregnant.”
Applejack spat water all over the table as she choked on her drink. After swallowing, she looked up at her. “What?!”
Fluttershy smiled meekly, “Congratulations Princess! I’m so glad for the two of you!”
“Eh, I’ve heard better surprises.” Rainbow Dash stated coolly.
“Now, I know this might be a big surprise for some of you, but know that we have everything under control. Isn’t that right, dear?” Celestia asked turning towards Discord for the first time.
He sat up from his seat, as he had been slumped down, bored the whole time.
“Huh? Pregnant? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Celly…” He stated simply, causing her to give him a very odd look.
“What are you talking about? We found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago! That’s why you had that midlife crisis!”
“Ha! Me a father? No way, I’m far too young for that! It’s just you getting fat, that’s all.”
Celestia looked at him with her mouth ajar, hardly believing that her husband was denying all of this. “D-d-discord, what are you talking about?!”
“I should be asking you that! To think that I would have a child. I’ll die before that happens!” Discord crossed his arms and frowned, appearing completely serious about the whole matter. None of them could detect his usually joking tone.
After a few moments of complete silence, Discord stretched out his arms and yawned. “Well, I think I’ll head off to bed. It was nice seeing you all. We should really do it again.” He said in a boring voice before snapping his talons and vanishing.
“Uh… P-Princess? If I could offer some advice…” Twilight finally broke the silence. “I think Discord may be going through the Kübler-Ross model, or otherwise known as the Five Stages of Grief.”
“What?” Celestia broke out of her trance and looked down at her student.
“The Five Stages of Grief.” Twilight repeated as if she were reading it from a book. “A theory that is believed every pony goes through after a very traumatic event, usually death. However, it can happen in situations like this…”
“So, what does this fancy model mean?” Applejack asked.
“Well, as the name suggests, there’s five stages. The first stage is denial, as you just saw…” Twilight stated, pointing a hoof towards Discord’s empty seat. “The next stage is anger, then bargaining, then depression, and then acceptance! So it should all work out in the end!”
Celestia swallowed hard. “But how long will these stages take? I don’t think I can take another mental breakdown…”
Twilight gave her a weak smile, “Well, it varies… Some could be days, maybe weeks or even months! Sometimes a pony can get stuck in one stage for an awfully long time… But I don’t think that will happen!”
Celestia buried her face in her hooves; this was the very last thing she needed. Discord could be stuck in a mental breakdown for months or even years, and she’d be left alone trying to raise her child. Why life, why me?!
Twilight laid a reassuring hoof on her teacher’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Princess. I’ll help you! In fact, I’m sure every pony here will help too, right?”
All of her friends nodded, which at least somewhat eased Celestia’s pressure. “T-thank you Twilight… Now, how about dessert? We can try to sort this all out after…”
“So, he hasn’t even come out since the party? It’s been a whole week, though!” Twilight exclaimed in surprise as she and the Princess stood outside the Draconequus’s room.
“I know… I’ve tried talking to him, but he just sits in there all day… I’m really getting worried about him…” Princess Celestia replied with a sigh as she stared at the wooden door with a vacant expression.
Twilight stared at the door in thought. Perhaps she would have better luck then the Princess? Cautiously, she knocked on the door; once, twice, then finally a third time. “Discord? How about you come out and we can talk about this?”
They heard a muffled chuckle from behind the door, “There’s nothing to talk about! How many times do I have to tell you? Celestia’s not pregnant and I’m not a father!”
Celestia sighed before looking down at her hooves. “He just keeps denying it, no matter what I say… Honestly, it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall…”
Twilight frowned upon seeing her teacher so sad. “It’s alright, Princess. I’ll fix all of this! There’s no need to worry!” She assured as she laid a hoof on her shoulder.
Looking up, Celestia smiled. Twilight was always there for her. Well, almost all the time. There was the whole wedding fiasco, after all. “Thank you, Twilight. I couldn’t have a better student… Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go meet with the doctor. I’m going to be finding out if the baby’s a boy or a girl! Too bad Discord won’t be a in a sane mind to hear it…”
“Oh, he will! You just wait and see! As soon as you come back, I’ll have this all sorted out! Or at the very least he’ll have moved onto the next stage...” Twilight mumbled as she took another look at the door.
“Well, thanks again, and good luck… I’m sure you’ll need it…” Princess Celestia nodded towards her student before heading down the hall and disappearing behind a corner. The unicorn turned back towards the door.
“Discord, will you at least let me in? All I want to do is talk!”
There were a few moments of silence before she heard a sigh. “Fine, but make it quick…” She heard a snap and the door swung open, allowing her to step into the Draconequus’s personal room.
She gasped as she saw the room around her, which was far different from any other room in the castle. It was massive, with the ceiling reaching up for what seemed to be miles. The walls were all painted a variety of colors, from bright pink to dark blue. They were all meshed together to form a collage of clashing colors. A water slide snaked itself through random sections of the room, disappearing into parts of the wall only to come out on another side of the room. Where exactly one would get on said waterslide, the unicorn could never guess.
The ground had an odd, rubbery feeling to it, and after pressing a hoof to it, she realized the whole thing was one giant trampoline. Across the room, she saw a giant swimming pool, which was where the waterslide ended. On her left was a large orange couch with an odd, massive black box sitting in front of it. She actually went dizzy as she looked around the room, there was simply so much to see that she just couldn’t process it all fast enough.
“So, what is it Twilight?” Came a voice to the right, which she immediately identified as Discord. He was laid back in a beach chair, a large tanning lamp hovering over him. She paced over to him, the floor under her hooves turning from rubber to sand.
“Wow…” She said in amazement as her eyes continued to scan the room. “How long has this all been here?”
“I built it all after the wedding. You should have seen the room before! Oh, it was atrocious! Good thing I made so many changes to it…” He replied, not even taking off the pair of black sunglasses that rested on his eyes.
Suddenly remembering why she came here in the first place, her head snapped towards the Draconequus. “Enough of the room, you need to stop this whole denial thing!”
Discord immediately chuckled at her words. “I’m not denying anything! I know for a fact that Celly isn’t pregnant!”
“Well…” The Draconequus took off his sunglasses and glanced around the room. “I never, you know…”
“Slept with her? But you must have! How else would she have a kid?” Twilight questioned, cocking an eyebrow at him.
He rolled his eyes at her, “Well maybe I did once… But it was only once!”
“That’s all it takes!”
Discord stared at her for a few moments and an awkward silence filled the air. “Well, whatever! I know she’s not pregnant! It’s all just a lie!”
Twilight sighed as she looked down at her hooves. This was obviously going to be a lot of work. “Listen Discord. You’re going through the five stages of grief right now. Your denial is a defense mechanism, as this is all just too stressful for you to handle. Pretty much no matter what we say you’ll keep denying that you’re a father, but the truth is you really are. Your wife is going to the doctor right now to see if it’s a boy or girl.”
Discord simply stared at her after she finished. She hoped that he was trying to process all this, because if he did, then maybe she had a chance to make this all better. Her hopes were raised as he opened his mouth. “Uh, right… I think you’re getting a little too much sun, Twilight… Maybe you should take a dip in the pool to cool off.” He stated before putting his sunglasses back on and leaning back in his chair.
Twilight face-hoofed and she stood silent for a few seconds, thinking. Great, he thinks I’m crazy... Maybe I can’t fix all this? Oh, the Princess will be so upset! I have to do this for her! I can’t just give up!
“Right, I’ll be back in a few minutes! Wait here!” She stated before teleporting away, leaving the Draconequus to continue his silent tan.
The silence was broken, however, as Twilight reappeared a minute later, this time accompanied by a pink pony. “Alright Pinkie, now let’s explain to Discord that he’s having a mental breakdown!” She said, turning to find her side empty. “Pinkie?”
Twilight let out a heavy sigh. There goes my secret weapon…
“Ha, nice try Twilight, but I think my real friends know that I’m in fact right. Isn’t that right, Pinkie?”
“Whatever… you… say… Discord!” Pinkie exclaimed, her words broken up as she flew high into the air then back down to the floor below. She continued to bounce around the room, thoroughly enjoying the trampoline flooring.
Twilight once again sighed before pacing to the side of the room, her head hung in defeat. There was just no convincing the Draconequus. No matter what she said, he’d still deny everything. It really was like she was talking to brick wall. I’d probably have better chances if I were…
“Don’t be so glum, Twilight! Why don’t you enjoy my room? Watch some TV; it’ll make you feel better! Or it would, if there were any channels that actually worked… This place has terrible reception…”
She had no idea what in Nightmare Moon’s name a “TV” was, but she really didn’t care. She had failed the Princess when she needed her most. She was going to be so disappointed in her… Well, I might as well break the news to her myself…
Twilight paused for moment in concentration, then teleported herself out of the chaotic bedroom.
Celestia fidgeted in her seat as she sat, waiting for her results. She was just so excited that she couldn’t get still, and practically yelled when Twilight teleported into the room. “Oh, Twilight! I thought you were the doctor for a second…” She said with a disappointed frown.
“Oh, Princess! I’m sorry!” The unicorn quickly apologized as she threw herself in front of her teacher’s hooves. “I tried my very best, but I just couldn’t convince him! He just keeps denying everything… I’m so sorry…” She mumbled, practically at the point of tears.
Celestia looked down at her student and smiled. “It’s alright, Twilight. At least you tried…” She cooed softly as she ran a tender hoof down her face. “I guess we just have to wait this out! Just like you said, it’ll work out in the end.”
Twilight sniffed before looking back up at the Princess, a small smile forming on her face. “T-thank you, Princess…”
“Really?!” Celestia’s head shot up and she stared at the doctor. “So, what is it?”
The doctor fumbled through his clipboard, as his ever-busy mind had forgotten the gender of the baby during his short walk back, and he simply didn’t want to admit it. “Ah, your baby is a…” He squinted to read the letter, only causing the Princess to squirm in her seat. The suspense was just killing her. “A girl!”
A grin formed on Celestia’s face at the idea. “Did you hear that, Twilight? A girl! I’m having a daughter!” She exclaimed while clapping her hooves like a filly. “Not that it would be any different if I had a boy, but it’s just I’ve always dreamt of having a little girl…”
“That’s great, Princess! Any ideas on what you’re going to name her?”
“Hmm… Well, I have a few ideas, but I still have so much time! Why decide now? Besides, I’d want Discord to have some say in the whole matter…” Celestia sighed, her mind suddenly going back to her distressed husband.
As soon as she said the Draconequus’s name Twilight remembered a certain pink pony she had left at the castle. “Pinkie Pie! I forgot I left her back with Discord! I’ll be back in a second, Princess!” She said before teleporting away.
Twilight reappeared moments later in Discord’s room, her jaw immediately dropping after seeing the new surroundings. The room was now a mess; broken glass laid across half of the floor, the water slide was bent out of shape and missing sections of itself, and a chair was sticking out of what Discord had called the ‘TV’. Pinkie Pie was sitting in the middle of it all, a worried expression her face.
“Pinkie! What in Equestria happened here?!” She yelled at her, half worried that the pink pony had gone into another one of her breakdowns. At least her hair was still poofy and all over the place.
“Uh, well… Discord kind of got angry and started throwing things… He left here after he ran out of stuff to break…” Pinkie stated, her usual grin now gone.
“That must mean he’s entered the next stage! That’s good! Or not, now that I think about it… Come on, we have to find him quick!” Twilight exclaimed as she dragged her friend into the hall. A trail of broken objects led them down the hall as if they were breadcrumbs, and after a short walk they found the Draconequus in the throne room.
“Why me?! Of all the damned stallions in Equestria, I just had to get picked… Arugh!” They found the spirit floating in the middle of the room, and random assortment of objects floating around him. A furious expression was scrawled across his face, and after a moment, he threw a table across the room and through a stained glass window. It instantly shattered, sending pieces of glass shooting across the room while the table plummeted to the ground below. Immediately after, he launched another object at another window, again breaking it.
“Discord, stop!” Twilight yelled as they ran up to him. The Draconequus took his eyes away from the windows and stared at the unicorn, rage still flickering through his pupils.
“Ah, Twilight Sparkle! Celestia’s personal lapdog! What do you want?” He roared, his angry voice causing Pinkie Pie to cower behind her friend in fear.
Twilight, however, stood her ground and looked back at him with a vacant expression. “I know you’re really angry, Discord, but breaking things won’t fix anything! Just get down here and we can talk!”
“Bah! Why talk when I can smash some of Celestia’s things?!” He asked before throwing another object through one of the windows.
She placed a hoof over her face to cover her eyes from the shower of broken glass. Luckily nothing hit them. “You’re going to hurt somepony at this rate!”
“So what if I did?!” Discord yelled as he turned his attention to the golden throne at the end of the room. He raised his claw and the seat uprooted itself from the ground. Smiling, he sent it shooting across the room with a speed that could rival Rainbow Dash. It smashed against the wall, leaving a massive dent and causing the heavy throne to crash to the floor. The entire room shook from the impact, as if an earthquake had just occurred.
Twilight felt Pinkie shaking behind her, and she did have to admit, the furious Draconequus was a terrifying sight. Even back when he was an enemy, they hadn’t seen him angry. He had always been so calm and collected. “Discord, stop breaking things, please!” She pleaded, but he simply disregarded her words.
“Why should I? This is all Celestia’s fault! Not mine!” Discord yelled before once again resuming his fit of destruction. The throne room was very quickly turning into a disaster zone, and if Twilight didn’t do something the rest of the castle would soon look the same.
Turning away from Discord, Twilight laid her eyes on her still terrified companion. “Listen closely, Pinkie. I need you to stay here while I go and get the Princess!”
“B-b-b-but you can’t leave me here!” She stuttered, not even able to look her friend in the eye.
“Please Pinkie! Just watch Discord and make sure he doesn’t go very far! I’ll be back in a minute!” Before Pinkie could protest further, Twilight had already vanished, leaving just her and the furious Draconequus. Oh, I hope Twilight get’s back soon… Discord’s starting to remind me of his old self, and he sure was mean back then… He might not even recognize me as a friend anymore…
Luna’s pace quickened as she heard another mysterious smash echo through the bowels of the castle. “What in Equestria is going on here?” She questioned as she turned another corner, wondering what possible could be making such a loud racket. She was so immersed in her thought that she practically ran over a pegasus who had jumped in front of her.
“Your highness! This letter is from the Arcana Council.” He held out a tightly wrapped letter, the Princess of the Night quickly snatching it from his hooves.
“Arugh, what do they want now?” Luna snarled before reading over the exceedingly neat handwriting.
Dear, Princess Luna
We regret to inform you that we will no longer be able to take your responsibly of raising the sun every morning. As the leading magic council in the kingdom we have much more important matters to attend to. We hope you understand our decision.
Sincerely, The Arcana Council
“They can’t be serious! This must be some sort of joke!”
The frightened pegasus glanced up from his wing, hardly able to even look the angry Princess in the eyes. “I assure you it’s not your highness! They handed it to me themselves!”
Luna gritted her teeth upon realizing the letter was not some crude joke. “They can’t expect me to raise the sun and the moon every day! What do they have to do that’s so important?!”
The pegasus shrugged his shoulders then quickly scurried out of sight before he angered the Princess further. She let out a sigh then continued down the hall, making a mental note to have another meeting with the council. The Arcana council never ceased to be a nuisance to her, but this was simply too much. They were bestowed the honor of raising the sun every morning, but now they were simply throwing it back in her face and expecting that she would take their responsibility.
“One problem at a time…” Luna told herself, resuming her quick pace down the castle hall.
“Uh Discord? Could you maybe-”
Pinkie’s meek, frightened voice was drowned out by another loud crash.
“Just consider-”
The screeching sound of metal on stone filled the room.
“Not breaking-“
More broken glass was scattered around the already littered floor.
“Things for one second?”
After finally finishing her sentence the Draconequus stopped his rampage and turned to the pink pony. His angry gaze only served to frighten her more as she trembled, frozen in one spot by fear. “And why should I? This is all Celestia’s fault, so I might as well break all of her stuff!”
“W-well it’s not really her fault… If it’s anypony’s fault I guess it would be yours…”
“ARGH!” Discord let another furious yell before throwing yet another object threw a window. He was just about to continue his destructive rampage, but a dark blue Alicorn entered the room. She looked around, her mouth agape as she took in all the destruction. Upon seeing the Draconequus she scowled and hurried over to him.
“Discord! What in Equestria are you doing?! The throne room’s ruined!” Luna yelled, giving Discord a furious look that rivaled his own.
Not for long however, as upon seeing the alicorn Discord’s eyes appeared to catch fire with an intense hatred. His scowl twisted into an even more freighting shape as he teleported over to her. “We’ll look who it is, Celestia’s bratty little sister! Shouldn’t you be off ruining somepony’s love life?”
Luna returned his angry glare with a crossed look, “Bratty sister? Why you-” She pointed a hoof at him, but then stopped to sigh. “Listen Discord, I promised your wife I wouldn’t start any fights with you… So don’t mess with me and I won’t mess with you. Simple as that.”
“Simple as that?” He replied blankly. “SIMPLE AS THAT HUH?! You ruined my life and that’s all you can say?!” Discord yelled in an explosion of anger.
“R-ruined your life?” Luna questioned in a mix of disbelief and surprise.”Discord, you can’t possibly mean-”
Luna quickly looked away from his livid, piercing glare. “Discord… You know I’m sorry about that, it happened a very long time ago…”
“Oh so you saying sorry makes up for all those missed years of bliss?! I could have had an amazing life with Celestia, but you ruined that and I was forced into a thousand years of boredom!” Discord barked, each of his syllables making Luna shrink to the floor.
“I was being controlled by Nightmare Moon, it wasn’t my fault!” The Princess quickly replied, trying in vain to defend herself.
The sinister threat sent a shiver down Luna’s spine. The Discord she had come to know over the past few months was seemingly disappearing, leaving the evil Draconequus she had fought all those years ago in his place. Perhaps these stages of grief may lead to his end, or *gulp* mine…
“I’ve had enough of arguing with you, you’re denser then the walls of this castle!” Discord snapped, immediately turning away from her. He then snapped his fingers, leaving only Luna and an extremely frightened earth pony in the now destroyed throne room.
“I don’t like this…” Pinkie Pie mumbled as she soon recovered from her terrified panic. “He’s starting to act evil again. Oh I hope Twilight get’s back soon…”
“AndthenDiscordstartedbreakingabunchofthingsand-“
“Twilight!” Celestia snapped, not understanding a word of the seemingly endless waterfall of words that was pouring from her student’s mouth.
“ItoldPinkiePietostayand-“
“TWILIGHT!”
The lavender pony immediately stopped her banter and looked curiously at Celestia. “Yes Princess?”
“Please, just calm down for a moment! Now what’s possibly making you so worried?”
Twilight sighed before looking back up at her teacher. “Discord moved into the next stage, he’s going on a rampage around the castle.”
Celestia put a hoof to her head and let out a pained groan. “Why does he have to make some much trouble? Every time I turn around there’s something else wrong…” She mumbled, not understanding why these problems were infesting her like a plague of pesky locusts.
“Well we should hurry back to the castle! I told Pinkie Pie to watch him, but I don’t know if she’ll be much help…”
“This is bad… very, very bad…” Luna mumbled ominously as she paced back and forth across the destroyed throne room. Bits of broken stone and glass still covered the floor, the debris also still accompanied by the various holes in the walls. Normally the Princess would have called a servant to clean it up, but right now there were much more pressing matters on her mind.
“Um Princess?” Pinkie Pie asked as she watched the alicorn pace endless around the room. “Shouldn’t we maybe look for Discord? You know, before he breaks some more stuff?”
“No!” Luna instantly replied, her tone filled with fright and nervousness. “It’d be stupid to get in Discord’s way right now. He could turn on us at any moment, so for now let’s just simply wait for my sister… Hopefully she can calm him down…”
The answer did very little to assure Pinkie Pie, as she still stared at the Princess with a confused expression. “But what if she can’t?”
“Then Discord turns evil, overthrows the government, and plunges Equestria into an endless state of chaos and suffering.”
As if almost on cue Twilight entered the decrepit hall, soon by a panic stricken Celestia. She glanced around at her once gorgeous throne room, hardly believing that it could be brought to this state in such a short amount of time. After recovering from the blow, she looked towards her sister and frowned. “Where’s Discord?! Shouldn’t you be watching him?”
“And where is he now?!” Celestia questioned sternly, her piercing gaze beating down on her younger sister like the relentless desert sun.
“He’s well um…. I have no idea…”
Celestia’s left eye twitched awkwardly as she continued to stare at Luna. She seemed to have taken the news well, that was until a scowl broke her impassive expression. “You lost him?! So my rage filled husband is running around somewhere probably destroying something?!”
Luna glanced up, quickly realizing that was a mistake as her sister stared directly back. “Well sister, there wasn’t a lot I could do! He simply teleported away, I couldn’t have stopped him!”
Celestia sighed before turning to her student. “Twilight? Please alert the guards about Discord, if they see him then come right to me.” The lavender unicorn nodded back before teleporting away. The royal alicorn turned back to her sister. “And you, start looking for Discord! He’s got to be around her somewhere!”
“B-but why do I have to?!” Luna quickly questioned, still not wanting to go anywhere near the raging Draconequus.
“Of course since she’s the big sister she gets to make all the decisions… Hmph, just because she’s older than me doesn’t mean she’s right!” Luna complained as she stormed down the hall, Pinkie Pie following in her wake. “I shouldn’t even have to look for Discord; he’s her husband after all, not mine!”
“Well if you’re right then why are you still looking Princess?” Pinkie asked, only serving to annoy the already disgruntled alicorn.
“Because Celestia’s going to freak out on me if I don’t! She may seem nice, but I’ve know her for a very long time. She can have a pretty nasty temper…”
Pinkie titled her head in the same way a confused puppy would, then quickly stepped back into pace following the Princess.
After ten minutes of nothing but wandering around the castle, Luna let out an exaggerated sigh then stomped her hoof against the ground. “This is getting us nowhere! We’re never going to find Discord by wandering around here; he probably isn’t anywhere close to the castle!”
Pinkie Pie looked away from the Princess, and instead peaked her head around the next corner. “Um, Princess?”
“Princess!”
“What?!” Luna snapped, her patience now reaching its limit.
“Discord’s right here!” Pinkie stated, point one hoof down the hallway. Luna turned the corner and her jaw dropped, sure enough the Draconequus was levitating in the middle of the hall. Six, beautiful, shinning gems encased in gold hovered around him.
“Oh great, you’re here…” Discord hissed, his mouth now twisting into the same inane scowl he had worn earlier.
“Listen Discord, I don’t want to start anything with you…” Luna immediately stated, hoping in vain that he had moved to the next stage in the short amount of time he had disappeared.
“Oh but I do!” The chaotic sprit grinned, not in delight as he had done before but now in a much more sinister way. “I think it’s about time for some payback, you imprisoned me in stone for a thousand years after all! You’d look great as a statue…”
“Ha!” Discord cackled in the same, menacing laugh that he had so often used. “You can’t take me on your own Luna; it took you and your sister to even fight me as an equal!”
The Princess of the night quickly shot a worried glance at Pinkie. “Quick, go get my sister! I’ll hold him off as long as I can, just be quick!”
True to the Princess’s urgent statement, Pinkie Pie shot off like a bolt of lightning, leaving a large cloud of dust in her wake.
“Do you think you scare me Luna?” Discord questioned as he grabbed one of the Elements from around him. “I just need to break this little gem right here and you can’t do a thing to stop me. I could take you and Celestia down, then bring back my old kingdom! I could be king again!”
A thought came to Luna’s anxious mind, perhaps she could reason with him? If his mind wasn’t completely blinded by his raging fury, then maybe she could stop this without a fight. “But you’re already a Prince and your married to Celestia, what more could you want?”
“I could think of a million things I want right now.” Discord hissed, crossing his arms as he glared at her. “And the first is for you to shut up!” He raised his talon menacingly, then after a moment snapped his claws.
“What in Equestria was that?!” Celestia questioned as what sounded like an explosion echoed through the castle. Her eyes flew across the room in a frenzied panic as she heard another explosion, almost afraid that the castle was going to crumble under the intense pressure.
“Well Princess, I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s Discord…” Twilight stated as she stared up at her teacher, waiting silently for her next order.
“I think I know that now…” She mumbled as another explosion rocked the castle’s foundation. “We just need to find whe-”
The Princess was cut off as a pink blur flew into the room, abruptly stopping in front of the two of them. “Princess, Discord’s gone all evil and now he’s fighting Luna! You need to come help!” She chirped at an almost incoherent speed. Luckily Celestia caught the most important parts, and was quickly able to piece together the situation herself.
“Well, where is he?!”
“Just this way, follow me!” Pinkie sped off once more, this time at a slightly slower pace so the bookish unicorn and the pregnant mare could follow her.
I hope we’re not too late… Celestia wondered to herself as she struggled to keep in tow with the speedy mare. If Discord’s really turned evil again there’s no telling what he’ll do to Luna…
Bargaining
Pinkie Pie finally came to a screeching halt in one of the upper hallways of the castle, not far from the storage room that housed the Elements. “He’s right around the corner, but I’d watch out, Princess… He’s not acting anything like his usual self…”
“Thank you, Pinkie Pie. But I’m sure I can handle it.” Celestia gave her a weak smile, not even convincing herself that her statement was true. Taking a sharp breath, she turned the corner, her confidence immediately draining as she looked upon the disastrous scene.
The walls were no longer their bright white selves; instead they were scorched and blasted in a dark black that stained every part of the hallway. Luna was laid out on the ground, panting, and her body was covered in bruises and blast marks. She looked visually exhausted as she struggled to even stand. Discord was hovering over her with a malicious grin.
“I told you that you couldn’t beat me Luna. I was always the stronger one, after all.”
“I… I can still… fight…” Luna whimpered as she heaved herself up; her stance so shaky and unbalanced that a breeze could probably knock her over.
“No, you can’t. Now just admit defeat before you die of a heart attack.” Discord chuckled as he continued to watch her, still completely clueless as to his wife’s sudden appearance.
“Discord, stop this right now!” Celestia snapped in the stern tone she so often used on the Draconequus. He glanced up to see her, his grin quickly twisting into an inane scowl.
“And there’s the other annoying royal sister… I was wondering when you’d show up…”
“Discord, do you even see what you’re doing here? My sister’s lying in an exhausted heap in front of you!”
“So? She deserves it; it’s more than equal payback for what she did to me…”
The Princess stared at him for a few quiet moments, trying to see even a shred of the previous Discord in this new, twisted monster. “Discord, how could you do this?”
While the two immortals conversed, Twilight and Pinkie Pie stood back, watching them with caution. “I say we run at the first sign of trouble… This new Discord isn’t joking!” Pinkie Pie urged her friend with great caution.
“And just leave the Princesses? No way! The Princess will come through. If anypony can stop Discord from being so angry, it’s her!” Twilight lectured back, not having a shred of disbelief in her wise teacher.
“How could I?” The Draconequus repeated, his voice turning to a bitter chill tone that sent shivers down her spine. “I finally get free from a lifetime of solitude, and you expect me to just give up all my lost chaotic fun? It’s only been a few months since I’ve been released; it’s far too soon to just give it all up!”
Celestia continued to stare at him, her intense magenta eyes pleading with him in worry and concern. “But I’m your wife, Discord! Remember? I’m not saying you have to give it all up, but just ease off it for a little bit while we raise the baby. I can’t do this alone. I need you.”
Now it was Discord’s turn to stare as he gazed at her serious expression. “But… but… I’m not ready, Celestia! It’s just too much too soon!”
“But that’s life, Discord; you just have to put up with it! Getting all angry and breaking things won’t stop you from being a father. The best thing you can do is accept it and support your wife… Me, Discord… Remember what we promised each other? How we would love, comfort and honor each other as long as we live?”
As Discord looked down to the floor, everypony in the room could tell that his temper had faded. His angry, freighting expression had turned to one of regret. The fire that had seemed to burn endlessly in his eyes had burned out. After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke. “I… I need some time to think…” Was all he said as he teleported away, leaving four stunned ponies in his wake.
Luna was the first to speak. “Well… Thank you, sister. Your timing was most precise. Discord has seemed to calm down, and if Twilight is right, then he should move into the next stage. What was it again?”
“Bargaining.” The lavender unicorn replied rather simply.
“Will it be as intense?” Celestia asked with a slight hint of worry.
“It shouldn’t be. I don’t see how it could be more intense then that…” Twilight stated as she glanced again at the various scorch marks.
As Celestia surveyed the battle-ridden hallway, she caught sight of six sparkling gems hidden in some wreckage. Walking over to them, she realized they were indeed the Elements of Harmony, with not a single scratch visible on their flawless complexions. The sight of them only made her more worried, as her mind began to question just how far over the edge the Draconequus had gone. “Well, we should probably get this cleaned up…”
“Right! And I need a nice long nap… I for one think I deserve it…” Luna groaned as she made her way down the hall, disappearing from sight as she turned the corner.
Twilight hurried over to her teacher and shot her a gleeful smile. “I knew you could do it, Princess! I never doubted you for a second!”
“Thank you, Twilight…” Celestia replied as she looked into her student’s happy expression. “Let’s just hope this all works out in the end…”
It was now approximately two weeks since the incident that had practically destroyed half of Canterlot Castle. The servants had done their best to clean up the mess, and many craftsponies and artists were still painstakingly working to restore the former glory of the royal home.
Celestia let out a heavy sigh as she finished re-reading the newest letter from her husband. He still kept in relative contact, most likely to keep his wife from flying off the deep end in worry. The latest installment informed her that he would be coming back soon and that, thanks to his solitary thinking, he had come to grips with the situation. The Princess questioned his attitude, but was still happy to see that, perhaps, the worst was finally over.
In honor of the event, and to help if the Draconequus had another breakdown, she invited Twilight and the rest of her friends to stay the night. The thought struck a chord in her mind, and she quickly glanced up from the parchment to gaze out her window. The distant clock tower struck midday as a loud ringing filled the city. Upon noticing it was noon, Celestia placed the scroll in a pile of identical letters and left her study. What would have normally been a peaceful stroll through the castle was suddenly ruined when Luna flew around the corner, looking rather distressed.
“Sister! Please tell me, is it true that Discord’s coming back?!” She hastily muttered, taking no time to get out of the alicorn’s way.
“Yes, is that worrying you?” Celestia chuckled slightly as she tried to push past her sister, only to be shoved back as Luna purposely blocked her path.
“Of course! Have you forgotten what that idiot did a mere two weeks ago? The servants are still trying to clean the blast marks from the walls!”
Celestia sighed as she gave her sister a serious expression. “Discord’s gotten over his anger, remember? He says he’s finally accepted me being pregnant, so hopefully everything will go back to normal now… Is that all?”
Luna merely stared back, not understanding how her sister remained so calm in such a dire situation. “But what about the next stage? Or what if he doesn’t even move on and just goes back to anger! You didn’t see him like I did, sister; you didn’t hear what he said to me…”
Upon seeing her sister’s tone and expression change to one of genuine fear, she began taking her seriously. She did recall Luna being very shaken the few days after the Draconequus’s breakdown, so perhaps she had seen a side of Discord that she hadn’t recognized herself. “Now I know Discord’s been very… unstable , for the past few weeks, but I really think he’s finally come around. Twilight said some people just skip entire stages, so it might already be over!”
Her sister’s words comforted her slightly, and after a few moments she finally moved from her way. “Alright. sister… I’ll trust you. But do you really think this is over? This is Discord we’re talking about here!”
“Yes… But what more can we do?” Celestia shrugged as she pushed past Luna and continued down the hallway. She turned back to give her sister a glance. “Oh, and would you please meet Twilight and I in the throne room in an hour? Discord said he would appear there and I really think you should be there when he comes back. Who knows, he might even apologize to you!”
Celestia giggled to herself as she left, leaving the dark blue alicorn to think to herself. While her sister’s words eased her worry slightly, she still had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. Well, at least one of us will be ready if Discord tries anything…
As she too paced down the luxurious hallway, the terrifying image of the furious Draconequus was still etched in her mind. No matter how hard she tried to dispel the picture, it still remained, as if his inane, scorching eyes were seared into her head permanently.
Twilight stood as patient and quiet as ever next to her judicious teacher. Currently, her friends were all out enjoying the sights of Canterlot, as the Princess suggested it would be better for just them to meet the Draconequus. Even though she felt somewhat uneasy about the situation, this was completely overshadowed by her complete respect and confidence in her teacher.
“Where is Luna? Discord’s going to be here any minute and she’s nowhere to be found…” Celestia mumbled as she glanced around the throne room with weary eyes. Discord’s little rampage had done quite a lot of damage to the room and the servants were still trying their best to repair the easily visible scars. Of course, Celestia put a hold on the construction, as she didn’t want any ponies getting in the way of this crucial meeting.
After a few more minutes of quiet waiting, Luna pushed open one of the large doors and stormed into the room. The alicorn didn’t look much better then when she had talked to her a mere hour ago, but seeing that the Draconequus was about to arrive, she didn’t bother to say anything. She simply paced over to her sister and stood in silence.
Ten minutes past, and Celestia couldn’t help but look around in confusion. As she worried about her husband, questions and doubts suddenly came rushing into her mind like a typhoon. What if he was lying? What if he wasn’t coming back and that she would have to raise their foal on her own?
These questions were immediately silenced as they all leaped back when a flash filled the room. Sure enough, the Draconequus was levitating in front of them, the same old happy grin plastered on his face. “Celestia! Luna! Twilight! It’s great to see all of you girls!”
Celestia ignored the greeting as she was much more curious about his new attire. “Uh Discord, what are you wearing?!”
Discord was dressed in a typical yellow Hawaiian shirt, its soft texture adorned with majestic, swaying palm trees and brilliant flowers of orange. He had a pair of black sunglasses above his eyes, and around his long slender neck was a traditional wreath of flowers. “Oh this? Well I just needed to relax a bit while I thought about all this.”
“But where were you?! It looks like you just came back from a relaxing vacation!” Celestia questioned, baffled that the Draconequus had been having a tranquil holiday while she worried to death about him.
“Well, I guess you could call it that…” Discord chuckled with a shrug of his shoulders. “It was great really! No annoying ponies to prattle on and on, no royal duties to attend to… You know, I thought about staying for another week, but I thought you’d probably worry about me too much.”
“Oh, how completely unselfish of you…” Celestia rolled her eyes as a frown passed her lips.
“I know! I’m such a saint!” Discord grinned as he hovered over to his wife and draped an arm around her back. “Now, I really should tell you about my plan… It’s full proof!”
Luna stood dumfounded as she stared at the Draconquus. Of all the things she had imagined in her frightened terror, this was by far the most surprising. The calm, relaxed Discord set her off guard and she could do nothing but gaze at him with her jaw open.
Walking to the side of the room with his wife he continued to smile. “You see, I’ve thought of an idea that’s completely fair! You take care of the foal for a couple hundred years or so while I have my fun, then I’ll take over from there!”
Celestia jaw dropped as he finished his proposal. “You can’t actually be serious?! THAT’S YOUR PLAN?! I though you accepted that I was pregnant?!”
“I did, but that doesn’t mean I have to take care of the baby right away. Now come on Celestia, it’s a brilliant idea! In the long run I’d be taking care of the baby longer!”
Quickly pushing his arm off of her back, she growled at him, then returned to the other side of the room with her student and sister. “I can’t believe you! I worry about you for two weeks because you had a temper tantrum, and then you come back like this! I thought you were finally over this, but it looks like I was wrong!”
Discord looked at her, wounded; hardly believing that she was able to refuse his generous offer. “O-okay, we can still work this out! What if you only look after it for a hundred years?”
“NO! And it’s a girl, by the way. Not that you would even care…”
“Of course I care! How could you even say that? Just not for the first hundred years…”
Celestia let out a heavy sigh and stormed out of the room, finally having enough of the Draconequus.
As he watched her leave, Discord continued to yell after her. “How about 80 years? 70? 60?! Come on, Celestia! Work with me here!”
As the Draconequus teleported out of the room, Luna looked down at Twilight with a frown. “Methinks he’s moved onto the next stage.”
“Yeah, but at least it’s not worse than anger!” Twilight shrugged as they followed the Princess down the hallway.
Depression
“Umm, Princess Luna? Don’t you think you could walk just a little faster? I can’t even see them anymore.” Twilight asked as politely as possible to the alicorn trailing behind her, who was making her way down the hall at a painfully slow pace.
“I’ve been completely exhausted for the past two weeks, Twilight… Not only am I still feeling the bruises from Discord and I’s fight, I’ve been having to raise the sun and the moon every single day…” She mumbled back as she slumped her head downwards, still slumbering forwards like a creature of the night.
“What? I thought you got the Arcana council to take care of that?”
“I did, but then they refused to raise it anymore… They said some rubbish about being too busy…” She sighed as she finally made her way next to the lavender unicorn.
“Can they even do that?! I thought the Princess’s had complete control over the council!” Twilight questioned as they began pacing down the hall where Discord and Celestia had disappeared to.
Luna rolled her large cyan eyes at her. “Yeah right, those fools do whatever they please with little or no regard of us. I’ve been trying to get Celestia to fire them ever since I returned to ruling, but she insists that they’re important to the kingdom…”
“Well don’t worry, Princess!” Twilight assured her, as she shot her a happy grin. “I’ll make sure you get a nice, long rest after we handle all this, you definitely deserve it!”
“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle, I’m glad at least one pony is on my side…” She sighed heavily as she returned the mare’s smile.
“Alright, alright, scrap that plan! What if we give the child to a foster home for a few years, and then we can take care of it after? Both of us win; it’s brilliant!” Discord declared as he flew to the side of his wife.
Celestia merely continued to ignore him as she stormed down the hallway. Of course, this didn’t halt the draconequus, who still continued to pester and follow her.
After five minutes and half of a dozen ideas, she finally had enough, slamming her hoof against the stone floor as she turned to face her husband.
“That’s enough, Discord! This is your own child you’re talking about here, not a piece of meat! We can’t just give her to somepony to take care of while we sit back and relax!”
“Well why not? I think we deserve some relaxation before we enter the stressful and demanding years of parenthood. Don’t you?”
Celestia glared at him, her anger towards the draconequus rising with every passing second. “We’re taking care of the foal, Discord, and that’s the end of it!” She stated sternly.
“But why?!”
Celestia narrowed her eyes, her extremely irate expression serving as a warning for him. “Listen Discord, I’ve had absolutely enough of you and your little breakdowns! I love you, but…” She shook her head before turning away from him. “When you do things like this… I can’t even stand being around you…”
Discord stared at her with his jaw open, for once, at a complete loss for words.
“So, until you’ve sorted out all these stages, just stay away from me!” She screamed at him in a furious tone that made him cringe. He watched in bewilderment as she stormed off, her loud hoof steps still echoing through the halls.
A minute later, he was joined by Twilight and Luna, who had finally arrived despite the alicorn’s snail like pace.
“Discord! What happened to the Princess? Where did she go?” Twilight hastily questioned as she glanced around the vacant hall.
“Gone. She said she doesn’t want to see me anymore.” Discord stated before crossing his arms.
“What?! You mean you two are…” Luna trailed off as she stared at the draconequus in surprise.
“No, we’re not breaking up; she just wants me to get through these ‘stages’... whatever those are…” He rolled his eyes as he turned to the Princess and Twilight.
“The stages that you’ve been going through for the past few weeks; how have you not noticed them!? Remember when you destroyed half of the castle?!”
“And tried to kill me…” Luna mumbled in an exhausted whisper.
“Well yes, but that’s only because of all the stress I was experiencing!” Discord insisted in a confident tone. “That’s all behind me now, thanks to my vacation of course.” He paused, “Actually, that may just be what Celestia needs! A nice long vacation…”
He was just about to snap his talons when he was abruptly stopped by Twilight. “You should just leave the Princess alone for now! She’s been stressed out enough; she doesn’t need you trying to bargain with her!”
“Bargaining? I’m not bargaining with Celestia, I’m merely offering several different solutions to our little problem.”
“Problem? That’s your own child you’re talking about, Discord!” Luna snapped at him, hardly believing that the draconequus could be so inconsiderate.
“Funny, your sister said the same thing…” Discord chuckled to himself as he stared at the alicorn. “Well, this is been great and all, but I really should be going…”
“To where?! You better not bother the Princess!” Twilight exclaimed as she shot him a rather threatening glance.
“Never! I completely respect the wishes of my wife…”
Discord turned his head and frowned at her. “I was just going to my room to rest, that’s all… And maybe think up a few more ideas…”
Twilight and Luna merely sighed; finally realizing at this point that there was nothing they could do to alter his thinking. After flashing a grin to the both of them, he snapped his talons and vanished.
“So, Twilight Sparkle… What do you suggest we do now?” Luna questioned as she turned to the lavender mare.
“To be honest Princess, I have no idea…” Twilight mumbled as she continued to stare at the deserted hall. “I should probably go and find my friends though, as it’s getting late and they’ve probably seen most of what Canterlot has to offer.”
“Well then, goodnight to you, I certainly hope we’ll have better progress tomorrow…”
“Oh wow! This room is so amazing!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed with glee, as they stepped into their bedroom. The first thing they noticed was the extremely comfortable velvet carpet under their hooves, and it covered every inch of the very large room. Six massive beds were all positioned at the far end of the room, the covers and sheets all composed of brilliant shades of blood red, ink black, and sparkling gold.
On their left was a full kitchen made of stainless steel, accompanied with a fully stocked pantry. On their right, were several comfy looking couches placed in front of a currently dead fireplace. Several shelves were placed against the wall, filled to the brim with dozens upon dozens of books.
Along the walls were many different paintings, some of them of simple landscapes while others depicted Canterlot or the Castle. Five of the mares were completely awestruck as they entered, their eyes happily taking in the gorgeous room.
“I… I’ve never seen anything quite like it…” Rarity gasped, as she looked around the room, her gaze soon landing on a beautiful painting that illustrated an inspiring sunrise of orange, red and white.
“Man this place is cool! I wish I lived here all the time!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she took off into the air, thoroughly enjoying the amount of space in the room.
“Well I asked the Princess for the biggest, most luxurious room they had. There are six of us after all, and I really did want to show you the best the Castle has to offer.” Twilight smiled as she paced over to the bookshelf, soon gleefully realizing all her favorite novels were there.
“Oh, oh, and we have a kitchen!” Pinkie Pie giggled like a filly as she rushed over to the appliances, clapping her hooves together cheerfully. “I know what we’re having tonight! CUPCAKES!”
“Ah thought the Castle had its own huge kitchen? Why have one here too?” Applejack asked curiously as she stared at her excited friend.
Twilight turned away from the large assortment of books to look at her friend. “Well, I didn’t really want to bother the chefs… They’re usually very busy, and besides, there’s no reason we can’t cook for ourselves.”
“Come on Twilight, how could we stay here and NOT order room service?!” Rainbow Dash questioned as she landed on her bed with a mighty crash, her body soon sinking into the incredibly soft and plush material. “I for one am going to enjoy everything I can…”
Twilight rolled her eyes at the cyan pegasus. “Come on, you guys, I know it’s great to enjoy all of this, but having fun isn’t the reason we’re here… We’re supposed to be helping the Princess and Discord, remember?”
“Oh yes of course!” Rarity exclaimed as she turned back to her friend. “But does that mean we can’t enjoy the divine food here at the castle? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with Pinkie’s cooking but…” She shot her eccentric friend a look, who merely responded with a confused pout.
“Yeah, Twilight, that dinner was mighty fine! I sure wouldn’t mind eatin’ here again!” Applejack stated as she draped a hoof along the lavender mare’s back.
Twilight sighed as she shook her head, finally caving in to her friend’s pleas. “Fine… I’ll get a servant to take our orders…”
All of her friends let out exaggerated yells of excitement, all of them except Pinkie Pie however; she crossed her hooves and pouted once more, “Fine, but I’m still making cupcakes…”
“That was the best thing I’ve ever eaten!” Rainbow Dash stated happily before she collapsed back onto her bed, her stomach full to the brim.
“Ah’ll say, they just don’t make food like this anywhere else!” Applejack replied as she worked a toothpick through her mouth, trying to get rid of any stray food she might have missed.
Twilight just rolled her eyes again as she returned to her book. “Well it wasn’t that great… We’ve could’ve just made our own food…”
“You’re just saying that because you ate here all the time…” Rainbow remarked as she shot her friend a glance. “Sure must have been the life, living here every day…”
Twilight just ignored her and continued reading, however she was soon interrupted by the ever energetic Pinkie Pie. “Hey Twilight, want a cupcake?” The pink pony jammed a piping hot tray of sweets in front of her, the heat nearly singeing her lavender coat.
“No Pinkie, stop asking!”
She merely sighed before turning to her other friends, all of them shaking their heads as they were just too full. With a sad frown, she paced back over to the kitchen and threw her tray back onto the counter. However, quite suddenly an idea came to mind, and with a grin she picked the tray back up. “I know who will want a cupcake! Discord!”
Before any of her friends could stop her, she rushed out the door and was already half way down the hall. Before long, she was already outside the draconequus’ room, pounding relentlessly on his door.
“Hey Discord! I made some super yummy cupcakes!” She roared as she continued to knock on the door, confused when she was given no response.
“Discord?” She asked cautiously, as she turned the door knob, surprised when she found it unlocked. With a light push, it opened, and she stepped into the overly dark room of the draconequus.
“Discord?” Pinkie called out again, barely able to see anything in the pitch blackness of the room. However, before long her eyes adjusted, and she could just make out the form of a creature in the corner. Slightly worried, she took a step forward and once again spoke into the darkness. “D-Discord?”
She heard a heavy sigh, and after a moment, a single light turned on in the room. It revealed the draconequus, who was huddled up in the corner with a pale, vacant expression. “What is it?” He mumbled to her, his voice not containing a hint of his usual happiness or excitement.
“Uh, well, I just made some cupcakes and was wondering if you…” Pinkie Pie was at a loss for words, for despite all she had seen in the past few weeks, this was by far the most different Discord. He was so unlike his typical chaotic self, even his mismatched eyes had lost the spark of craziness that always seemed to inhabit them. It was as if he was a completely different person.
“Go away…” He hissed, before turning away from her, his cold brash voice causing her to cringe.
“Uh, D-discord, is this the next stage? What did Twilight say it was again…?” She pondered to herself as she put a hoof under her chin.
The Draconequus merely ignored her, finding it far better to just relish in the silence.
“Oh yeah, it was de…de… desertion? Decapitation? No, that wasn’t it…” Pinkie Pie sighed as she once again returned to her thinking.
While the pink pony pondered, Discord pulled a skull out of seemingly nowhere. “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now?”
“Oh yeah, it was depression!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, having ignored the draconequus's monologue. “Well I better go tell Twilight, you stay right here!”
The pink pony was gone, leaving Discord to sigh and merely stare at the skull in his one talon. “To be or not to be, that is the question…”
Pinkie Pie flew down the hallway with a speed like none other, pushing aside servants and guards alike with little regard. Within just a few seconds she had arrived at their room and threw open the door with a mighty crash. The pink pony rushed in, immediately collapsing onto the floor as she tried to regain her breath.
“Pinkie Pie? What’s wrong?” Twilight questioned as she glanced up from her book, curious at her friend’s haste.
“Di…Disc…” The energetic pony could hardly talk, as whenever she tried to utter a word she was struggling to take a breath. The only other time she had ran that fast was when she had swallowed those three bags of sugar.
“Come on, out with it girl!” Rainbow Dash urged from her comfy bed, silently wondering what could possibly have made her move in such a hurry.
After taking a final heavy breath, Pinkie looked up at her five friends. “I went to give Discord some cupcakes and I knocked on the door and he didn’t answer, so I just went in any way! Then I noticed the room was really dark and I saw Discord and I said-”
“Pinkie!” Twilight snapped causing her to stop mid sentence. “We don’t need to know every little detail, just tell us what’s important!”
“Oh…” Pinkie mumbled, slightly disappointed that she couldn’t tell her whole story. “Well, Discord’s entered the next stage! He’s uh…” She pouted as she tried to remember the word that so easily escaped her.
“De-”
“Don’t tell me!” She roared, putting a hoof in front of the unicorn’s face. “It’s um… de… de… dependent? Decedent?”
“No it’s-”
“I said don’t tell me!” Pinkie snapped once more before returning to her deep thinking. “Oh oh oh, its descendant isn’t it?”
Twilight sighed as she rolled her large violet eyes at her. “No, the next stage is depression!”
“Aw, I wanted to guess it!” Pinkie Pie groaned as a frown crossed her lips.
The lavender unicorn merely ignored her as she got to her hooves. She quickly placed her book on the shelf then turned to the five mares. “Alright girls, let’s go talk to Discord!”
“Um do you think that’s a good idea Twilight?” Pinkie Pie asked apprehensively as she watched her walk to the door, her other friends soon following. “Remember the last few times where we’ve tried to talk to him? Maybe it’s just best to leave him alone!”
As the other mare’s piled into the hallway Twilight turned to smile at her pink friend. “No need to worry Pinkie, I’m prepared for this stage more than any other!”
“Really?” She stated, somewhat unsure of her friend’s confidence.
“Oh yes, depression is a mental disorder! And who helps treat mental disorders?”
“Um, the ponies that sell ice cream?” Pinkie stated with a grin.
Twilight facehoofed.
“What? Whenever I feel sad or depressed I always just eat some ice cream! It makes me feel a million times better, oh I wonder if there’s some ice cream in the kitchen? That’ll cheer up Discord for sure!” Before Pinkie could rip apart the pantry, the lavender unicorn grabbed her with her magic.
“No, I meant a psychiatrist! And I’ve read dozens of books on psychology!” Twilight exclaimed as she dragged her out into the hallway.
“Uh Twilight dear, aren’t those book on pony psychology? I hope you remember we’re not dealing with any normal pony…” Rarity pointed out as they began pacing down the hall.
“Yeah, Ah don’t know if your fancy books will help out much here sugarcube.” Applejack added as she followed her friend’s lead.
Twilight merely shook her head and let out a short chuckle. “You just wait and see, I’ll have Discord onto acceptance in ten minutes flat!”
Twilight straightened her small pair of glasses as she glanced up from her notes. A levitating quill sat beside her, ready to jot anything down at the slightest motion. “So, what’s been making you so depressed recently?”
“For the twentieth time, get out before I make you…” Discord hissed as he glared at the wannabe psychiatrist. He was now becoming severely annoyed, which was easily audibly in his voice, at her constant questions and remarks. No matter what he said she still stood there in the dark, the rest of her friends waiting patiently behind her.
“I see…” She mumbled as her quill went to work, after a moment she looked back up. “And why exactly do you want me gone?”
Discord growled before snapping his fingers, the six of them immediately disappearing from the overly dark room and reappearing right outside the door.
“Yep, that sure sounds like acceptance to me!” Rainbow Dash smirked as she held back her laughter.
“Darn it, and I was so close to a breakthrough!” Twilight sighed as she put away her glasses, notebook and quill. “Maybe If I just try once more…” The lavender unicorn went to open the door, but Applejack placed a hoof on her back.
“Come on now sugarcube, Ah want to help Discord too but there’s not much we can do. It really seems like he just wants to be alone.”
“But, but I can help! I can help him get over this stage and everything will finally be back to normal! I can’t stop now, not when I’m so close!” Twilight urged, simply refusing to stop now that she was near to fixing things. All she needed to do was get the draconequus over the momentary depression, then he would move onto acceptance and finally accept his child.
“I um…” Fluttershy whispered in her usual weak, timid voice. “I… I think it’s best if we just left him alone, sometimes all we need is a little alone time to get better.” She smiled; the innocent, happy grin of the pegasus immediately causing Twilight to sigh in defeat.
“Fine… Let’s go back to our room then…”
The six of them made their journey through the castle, nearing their room in only a short time. They stopped however, as Twilight heard a very faint crying in the distance. Turing to the left she noticed a door, and very quickly she realized it was Princess Celestia’s bedroom.
“Um guys, go on without me. I’ll be back soon.” The others merely nodded to her before moving on, completely understanding the situation. As they turned a corner, she pushed open the unlocked door.
“Princess?” Twilight called out into the first room, finding it devoid of any life. This entrance room was the Princess’s study, and along the wall was a desk absolutely covered in letters and quills. Some of them sat unwrapped, no doubt having just been read by the alicorn ruler. She even spotted a few of her own friendship reports, having long been opened and read.
Pacing across the room Twilight found the bedroom door slightly ajar, and after quietly pushing it open she saw the Princess. The white alicorn was spread across the bed, her head deep in a pillow which only slightly muffled her cries. With just a quick glance she could tell she had been like this for some time, as her eyes were sore and red.
“P-Princess?” Twilight finally called out after a few moments, still hardly believing the sight that lay in front of her. She had never seen the Princess so weak and vulnerable, doing nothing but crying her eyes out. For as long as she had known her she was strong and composed, though they were a few select moments where this composure slipped. This was like none of those however, as watching her cry sent pangs through her heart.
Celestia’s head immediately shot up, and upon seeing that the disturbance was her student she swallowed hard. “T-t-twilight, I… I didn’t hear you come in…”
It was awkward just standing there, so Twilight slowly paced into the room and over to the Princess’s bed. She had stopped her tears and was doing her best to regain her composure, though this was very difficult and she did little to fix her vulnerable appearance. “Princess, if there’s anything wrong you can tell me.”
Celestia merely sighed and shook her head slightly. “N-no, it’s nothing dear Twilight… Y-you should just go back with your friends, I-I’m…” A few tears ran down her cheek before she quickly turned away. “I’m fine…”
Her words did little to sway Twilight, as she still stood vigilant beside the bed. “Princess, you’ve always been there for me. Every since I was little you helped me out, guided me along. When I got a spell wrong you showed it to me, when I couldn’t understand a word you sounded it out. I wouldn’t be the mare I am today without you. So please, let me be there for you, because you were there for me…” The lavender unicorn placed a hoof on her teachers, and for one fleeting moment they locked eyes.
Celestia smiled, and she wiped away a few stray tears. “T-thank you Twilight… It’s… It’s just I can hardly take all this… Discord just can’t accept he’s a father, he’s trying all sorts of things to get away from that truth.” The alicorn glanced down at the bed. “I was alone for a thousand years Twilight… A thousand years where there wasn’t a single creature I could love or confide in…”
“But you could have had anypony! You’re the Princess; it would have been easy to find a husband!”
“True, but I knew I couldn’t… I’m immortal, and it’s far more a curse then it’ll ever be a blessing… To know that everpony you get attached to goes away, that you move on no matter what…” Celesia bite her lip as she returned to crying.
Twilight gently stroked her hoof, trying her very best to comfort her. “But you found Discord! And he’s immortal too!”
“I, I know… And that’s why I was so happy when he was released, and we got married… But now he’s changed Twilight. I’m sure you’ve noticed. He use to care about me so much, but now all he does is worry about the baby…” Celestia turned to her student and for a moment she was lost in her deep violet eyes.
“It’s almost over though Princess, Discord will be back to normal. He’s moved onto depression now, and just this last stage then everything will be all right! I promise.”
Celestia sniffed a few times and let out a sigh. She smiled once more as she looked at her student. “Thank you Twilight… I, I’m feeling slightly better now… I’m sure you’re right, everything will be all right in the end…”
“Exactly, now you just get a nice, long rest. I’m sure everything will be sorted out by the morning; Discord just needs some time alone that’s all!”
The Princess nodded before she leaned back in her bed, letting out a relaxing sigh as she closed her eyes. “Thank you again Twilight… I don’t know what I’d do without you; you mean so much to me…” She whispered in a soft, motherly tone.
Twilight merely blushed as she exited the room, turning to the Princess with one last smile. “Goodnight Princess…”
“Now that’s what I call a good rest, this bed is even comfier then a cloud!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she finally rolled out of luxurious bed. She found the rest of her friends all long awake, happily chatting to each other while they ate breakfast.
“Finally up eh Rainbow? I was expecting you to sleep until noon.” Twilight smirked as she glanced up from her novel. The lavender mare was lounging on the couch as the rest of her friends sat around her.
“Hey, I’m not that lazy!” Rainbow retorted a she strolled over to the kitchen, finding a massive, delicious looking breakfast all laid out. She licked her lips as her eyes past over the food, her mind reeling at the simple thought of where she should start.
After a few moments she selected some scrumptious looking pastries, and after piling them onto a place she collapsed onto one of the vacant couches. “So girls, what are we up to today?” She asked between mouthfuls of the delectable treats.
“Well I wanted to go to the royal museum, though I hardly doubt you’d enjoy that…” Rarity commented, knowing full well the pegasus would be opposed to the idea.
“Well duh!”
“And could you please not talk with your mouthful! It’s rather disgusting…” The prim unicorn scolded at her manners.
After finishing her current chapter, Twilight closed her book shut and turned to her friends. “Well I say we go and check on Discord first! He’s had the whole night to be alone, so maybe he’s feeling better now!”
“Great idea Twilight! Oh I hope he is, I would be great if we could go and pull some pranks today!” Pinkie Pie chirped as she shot out of her seat and towards the door. “Dashie and I have thought of so many new ones, isn’t that right Dashie?”
Rather than respond with her mouth full of pastries, the cyan pegasus merely nodded with enthusiasm.
“Well we won’t know until we find out, let’s get moving girls!”
Before long the six of them were outside Discord’s door once again, the only sound echoing through the halls being Rainbow Dash’s chewing as she finished her breakfast. Twilight hurried up to the door and knocked several times, the only response came in that of silence.
“Hmm… Maybe he’s in some other part of the castle?” The lavender unicorn wondered as she pushed open the door, finding the room just as dark as before. A quick illumination spell sent that straight, and the six mares found the bedroom empty.
“It’s seems your right Twilight, Discord must be somewhere else.” Rarity stated as they looked around the vacant room.
“Well that must mean he’s all better now right?” Applejack suggested with a smile. “Cause when he was depressed he had himself all locked up in here!”
“Maybe, thought I have a really bad feeling about this…” Twilight replied as she continued to examine the room. Her eyes caught a piece of parchment on a nearby table; a rushing over to it she quickly read it aloud.
“Dear Celestia. I’m leaving you and the castle, I’m sorry but I just can’t take this any longer. You’re far better off without me, so it’s best that I leave this all behind. I know you’ll be saddened by this, but don’t mourn; this is the only way it could have ended. I’m going far away where you’ll never see me again. Goodbye, my love… Sincerely, Discord.”
The six of them all gasped in unison, an eerie silence soon following. Twilight was finally the first to speak. “I… I can’t believe it… Discord’s gone!”
“But, but where! We need to find him; oh the Princess is going to be so upset!” Pinkie Pie worried, her earlier grin having all but faded.
“I… I know…” Twilight mumbled softly as she glanced at the ground. She had failed the Princess. All her words that she had said the night before meant nothing, she was wrong. Discord didn’t get better; things didn’t work out in the end. This letter was going to destroy her.
“What should we do?” Rarity questioned as she and all of her friends turned to Twilight.
“I… I don’t know…”
“Ah that was a fine breakfast, I’m ever so glad the head cook decided to stay. I do wish I was feeling stronger though, I’ve been so exhausted lately…” Luna remarked as she placed down her sparkling silverware.
“Yes, too bad Discord didn’t join us… I certainly hope he’s feeling better…” Celestia sighed as she looked up from her plate. Her dark blue sister was sitting at the other end of the table, and the large dining hall felt so empty without her chaotic husband. Usually breakfast was far more hectic then this, and though it did cause problems she slightly missed it.
“I’m sure he is sister, you know how he works. His moods change very often. In fact, why don’t we go visit him now? He’s most likely in his room.”
Celestia smiled at the idea and nodded in response. “That’s a great idea! Let’s go.” The two sisters hurried out of the dining hall and continued through the castle. Just as they were passing through the magnificent throne room, a very peculiar sight caught their eyes.
Approaching them were six unicorns, all of which were draped in dark blue robes. Luna was the first to speak, hardly believing the sight before her. “The Arcana Council?!” She snapped, her anger already rising. “What are you doing out of your tower, I’ve never seen you around the castle!”
One of the unicorns stepped forward and smiled. “Ah Princess Luna and Celestia, just the rulers we wanted to see.”
“Lord Magus?” Celestia questioned the leader of the Arcana Council. “What is it? Is something wrong?” She was in deep worry as just like her sister she had never seen them outside their tower.
The cloaked unicorn took a step towards the two alicorns. His eyes were a piercing amber that sparkled like gold. “Nothing my dear Princess, nothing you should worry about that is.”
Both of them raised their eyebrows, having an uneasy feeling about the situation.
“You see…” Magus began, flashing the two of them a devilish smile. “It’s high time we finally acted, and now that a certain someone is gone we can finally began…” The unicorn chuckled before his horn flashed orange.
Suddenly two dozen royal guards rushed into the throne room, all of them encased in golden armor and wielding sharp spears. Within seconds they surrounded the Princesses, and Celestia looked around in confusion.
“What’s going on here Magus?! Why are these guards surrounding us?! I order all of you to stand down!” She roared at them in a furious tone, though her words did nothing to move them.
“Hehe, you two are just relics of the past. Equestria is destined for so much more, and we can’t possibly get there with moronic alicorn’s like you ruling. I’m afraid it’s high time the unicorns took power, for we are the strongest race. The most deserving race.”
Luna growled as she looked at the unicorn with intense fury, her gaze did nothing to affect him however. “Magus! I knew you and your stupid little council were always up to no good! Do you really think you have any chance of overthrowing us?”
“Oh I believe I do…” Magus once again grinned at her. “A simple hypnotization spell has these two dozen guards under my command. And don’t possible think you can fight back… Dear Celestia…” He turned to the white alicorn. “You wouldn’t ever consider fighting, seeing as how that poor baby of yours could get hurt… Small magic doesn’t really affect it, but I’m sure a full-scale battle with the six strongest unicorns in Equestira would do something…”
Celestia swallowed hard; as much as she didn’t want to believe it he was right. There’s no way she would put her foal in harm.
“And you think I’m just going to sit back and let this happen?! I’m an alicorn of immeasurable strength; I could easily take all six of you on!” Luna roared as she slammed a hoof to the ground.
“Hah!” Magus laughed, causing the other five unicorns behind him to break out in laughter. “And just what can you do? That fight with Discord left you rather bruised to say the least, not to mention the strain of raising the sun and the moon has left you all but drained…”
Luna continued to stare at him in anger, knowing deep down he was completely right. There was no chance she could take them on in this state; she probably wouldn’t even be able to get past the guards.
“You’re forgetting one thing in your master plan Magus!” Celestia yelled at him with a hopeful smile. “Discord! He’ll whoop all your flanks!”
This made them all laugh harder than ever. “Oh will he?” Magus asked with a mocking grin. “Too bad he’s run away from the castle…”
The two alicorn’s jaws dropped, hardly believing the power hungry unicorn’s words. “What?!”
“Oh yes, gone. He left a note in his room; I guess you haven’t read it yet? We’ve been waiting an awfully long time for this, and now that your meddlesome husband is gone we can finally act. Guards, throw them in the dungeon.”
The two dozen guards began forcefully dragging the Princess’s, both of which were screaming and flailing their hooves in a vain attempt at escape. “You won’t get away with this, just see!” Celestia yelled at him with all her might. Luna even attempted to fight back, knocking down two of the guards with a strong tackle. However due to their numbers and her sapped strength she was easily subdued.
“Right…” Magus chuckled before he turned to his fellow council members. “Now, we have a kingdom to start ruling!”
“Come on, as much as I want to keep the Princess from knowing this we have to tell her. Maybe there’s a chance we can still find him…” Twilight stated to her friends as she began leading them through the halls. Although she didn’t know for sure where her teacher currently was, she had a fairly good feeling about the dining hall. It was the usual time when the Princesses had their breakfast so it seemed as good as any place to start.
However as they approached the doors to the throne room, they heard a wicked voice echo from within.
“Starwind, go to the west barracks and hypnotize more of the guards, we’ll need them to take control of the rest of the castle.”
The six of them immediately halted, and merely stood still as statues as they listened to the mysterious stallion’s voice. Twilight however peaked through a rather large keyhole and suddenly gasped at the sight.
At the end of the room near the thrones stood five unicorns, each dressed in dark blue cloaks that Twilight immediately recognized. Embroiled in their robes was a golden seal, the seal of the Arcana Council. The stallion that had just spoken was in front of them, pacing back and forth with a depraved grin. Apart from the council nearly two dozen guards stood at attention, their eyes oddly glossy and vacant.
“Lord Magus,” A nearby female unicorn spoke next. “Are you su-”
“That’s Emperor Magus now, remember?” He quickly cut her off, a slight tone of annoyance audible in his voice.
“Emperor Magus… “She mumbled before continuing. “Are you sure the princesses don’t have any chance of getting away? You did only leave two guards with them...”
“Of course they don’t!”Magus snapped back as he twirled around to face her. “Why waste the stallions guarding them? Those cells are enchanted to stop any and all magic. There’s no possible way they’ll break free, even if they are alicorns…”
Twilight took her eye from the door and shot her friends a worried glance. “That’s the Arcana Council! And they’re talking about the Princesses being locked up!”
“Well what are we waiting for?! Let’s get in there and kick some flank!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she rushed for the door, but was suddenly immobilized by a purple aura.
“No!” Twilight replied as she held back the eager pegasus. “Those are some of the strongest unicorns in all of Equestria! Starswirl the Bearded created them and was their first leader nearly a thousand years ago, since then they’ve always advised the Princesses! I just don’t understand why they’d be doing this…”
“This is no time for a history lesson Twilight! And I don’t care how strong they are, I’m saving the Princesses!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she tried in vain to break her friend’s telekinetic grip.
“Rainbow, there’s at least twenty royal guards in there! We wouldn’t stand a chance!”
Though the cyan pegasus wanted nothing but to fight, she finally settled down and came to agreement. “Fine,” She mumbled with a heavy sigh, “but there must be something we can do.”
Twilight nodded with a smile, glad that her friend was now back on their side. While it was usually a blessing that Rainbow Dash was the Element of Loyalty, they were times when it was much more of a curse. She could be brash, arrogant and would often simply charge into a fight without thinking.
“There is! The Princesses are in the dungeons under light guard by the sounds of it. If we can get down there we should be able to free them!”
Her friends all nodded in response before the unicorn led them deeper into the bowels of the castle.
“My my, this place certainly isn’t as clean as the rest of the castle…” Rarity commented as she cringed at the dirty, mossy walls of the dungeon. Every inch of the halls were covered in filth and grim, some sections of the ceiling had even collapsed leaving old bits of stone and debris to litter the floor.
“Well this place hasn’t been used in over three centuries, even I’ve never been down here.” Twilight replied as she led them through the maze like hallways, her horn serving as the only light in the otherwise consuming darkness.
“Well then how in Equestria are we supposed to find the Princesses? This place looks like it goes on for forever!” Applejack complained as she trailed at the back of the group, occasionally glancing at the darkness behind them with worry.
“The deepest levels collapsed a long time ago, the only accessible areas are this floor and the one below it.” Twilight stated to her friends, glad that she had read that book on the castles architecture. That’ll show Spike… She smirked silently to herself. “It shouldn’t take us too long to find them.”
Twilight’s words were true, as no later then twenty had passed before they caught sight of another light in the dark. They could see shadows flickering from behind a corner, and with a nod from the lead unicorn they silently crept forward.
Reaching the end of the decrepit hallway, Twilight quickly peaked around the corner to see two royal guards. Their brilliant golden amour practically sparkled in the dark, being illuminated by a nearby mounted torch. They stood in front of two separate cells, each of which contained a depressed looking alicorn.
Twilight turned to her other friends and with a smile. “Just like he said, only two guards! Now let’s get them, on the count of three… One, two… three!”
Just as she finished the countdown, the six of them jumped from behind the corner and charged the two guards. Rainbow quickly took out one of them, a tackle from the air sending him straight to the hard stone floor.
Before his companion could even think, Applejack bucked him fiercely in the side and Pinkie Pie pounced onto him while he struggled to recover. They six of them grinned as they watched the two merely lay on the ground and groan in pain.
“Wow, I didn’t think it would be that easy…” Twilight remarked, surprised that she hadn’t needed to cast even a single spell.
“Well that’s a good thing! I didn’t want to get my hooves dirty anyway…” Rarity stated as she slowly paced across the hallway, making sure to avoid any particularly filthy sections.
Twilight merely rolled her eyes as she hurried over to the cells, both of their inhabitants looking at the six mares with hope. “Princess!” She yelled as she rushed over to her teacher.
“Twilight! Oh thank goodness you’re here, the Arcana Council-”
“We know, now let’s get you out of there quick!” The lavender unicorn hastily cut her off as her eyes scanned across the strong iron bars. There was a door embedded in the bars, though a heavy looking lock kept it shut.
“There’s no use Twilight… Only one key can open these bars, and I’m sure Magus has it…” Celestia sighed as she stared at her worried looking student.
“What? No, there must be some way we can get you out!” Twilight exclaimed in panic as she continued to examine the cells.
“I’m afraid not… Extremely powerful enchantments were placed upon these cells centuries ago. Even Luna and I can’t cast magic in here…”
A frown crossed the unicorn’s face as she realized she was indeed right. There just wasn’t any way they could free them.
“Though there’s still hope. Discord’s left the castle, you need to find him and bring him back! He’s our only chance of stopping the council!”
The six of them all nodded with vigor. “Right! Don’t you worry Princess; we’ll have Discord back in no time!” Twilight declared as she and her teacher’s eyes met. As much as she didn’t want to leave the Princess in the dark, dirty cell, this was the only way.
The two stared at each other for some time, before Celestia finally nodded in response. “Now hurry up and leave, you can’t waste a single second. The longer the council’s in charge, the more damage we’ll have to fix when we’re finally free.”
“Yes please do hurry…” Luna growled in an inane tone, “I can’t wait teach that stupid council a lesson...”
Twilight shot her teacher a final smile, before she hurried out of the dungeon with her friends. Deep down she knew her teacher would be alright, even if she was leaving them with a group of power hungry unicorns. Before long they had found their way out of the dungeon, and Twilight turned to them as they entered a hallway.
“Alright, I’ll try and teleport us to another part of Canterlot. It’ll be the best I can do…” Quickly, as she was afraid of some guards stumbling onto them, Twilight began casting a teleportation spell. After a few moments an exceedingly bright light flashed, and the six of them were whisked out of the castle.
As they opened their eyes they found themselves in one of Canterlot’s many luxurious gardens, the castle they were in mere seconds ago now sitting in the distance. Twilight immediately fell to the ground, the immensely powerful spell having drained a good deal out of her.
“So what do we do first? Where in Equestria could Discord be?” Pinkie Pie was the first to speak as they adjusted to their new surroundings.
“Well, I say we split up.” Twilight suggested as she raised herself back to her hooves. “If we all check separate, plausible locations we’re bound to find him!”
“Great idea Twi! Now where should we start?” Applejack questioned as she turned towards the simply amazing view of the vast land below the city. Canterlot was on a mountain after all, so in certain locations one could see for miles. Just looking at it made their task seem more impossible, what chance did they have of finding one draconequus in the wide land of Equestria?
“Well, I was thinking…”
“Let go of me you brutes! I am Princess Cadence, and my husband is your captain! You’d best let me go before he fires all of you!” The furious pink alicorn snapped at the six guards that were leading her down the hall. She had just been in her bedroom relaxing when they barged in, not saying a word as they forcefully grabbed hold of her and began this mysterious journey through the castle.
The guards merely ignored her cries and threats as they led her down the hallway. She was quite tough, and was certainly putting up a fight as they went. The six of them could hardly contain her, though for some reason she hadn’t used a single ounce of magic on them.
Finally reaching their destination, they led the still fighting alicorn into the royal throne room. She looked around in confusion as her struggles died down, her eyes finally coming to rest on six grinning unicorns.
“Ah Princess Mi Amore Cadenza… The last free alicorn in all of Equestria…” Magus hissed as he paced over to her, the guards still holding her back.
“Free? What are you talking about?! Who are you?! WILL SOMEPONY TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON?!”
“With pleasure my dear… You see, your aunts are well…” He let out chuckle as he continued to stare at her. “No longer in power, they’re in the dungeon in fact… The Arcana Council will soon be the new leaders of Equestria, and thus being the head of the council makes me Emperor… So you best address me as such…”
Princess Cadence’s jaw dropped as she heard this wicked stallion talk, his words were so unbelievable and ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but believe him. Her aunts were nowhere in sight, and these odd guards were storming all over the castle. They were very different than any guard she knew, these hadn’t said a word and they seemed almost… lifeless. “What about the guards? There’s something weird about them…”
“Ah, brilliant observation my dear! They are in fact under a few hypnotization spells, so they won’t be taking orders from your precious husband…”
Finally realizing that these guards weren’t in any sane mind, Cadence growled at the stallion. “I’m an alicorn, remember?! I’ll crush your little rebellion and save my aunts!” Her horn glowed a light blue, and suddenly the six guards at her side were thrown across the room. Before she could attack the council however, Magus’s horn lit up with an intense orange. An unknown spell shot out and hit her directly in the neck, the alicorn immediately collapsed to the floor as an extreme burning sensation was sent across her body.
“How does that feel Princess?” He questioned as he walked over and kneeled beside her. She twitched and convulsed as the tremendous pain in her neck continued to grow. She couldn’t even get up, let alone reply to the crazed unicorn. “It’s a favorite of mine, a scorching spell created by myself. It gets more painful over time…” He smiled as he looked into her eyes, enjoying the obvious pain she was experiencing. After a few moments he turned away and paced back to the throne. “Guards, throw her-”
The head of the Arcana Council was cut off however, as in an extreme act of will and exertion Cadence got to her hooves. She quickly cast a spell; it just whizzed past Magus and hit one of the other council members. The unicorn dropped to the ground, but his fellow members were quick to act.
Before she could even blink, the young alicorn was hit with five separate spells. She couldn’t even move a limb as she instantly fell to the stone floor. “I doubt you’ll be getting up from five stunning spells… I’d be surprised if you could even move by tomorrow!” The unicorn was indeed right, as the only movement she had was that of her eyes. All of her muscles were frozen in place, simply refusing to do what her mind told them.
After a rambunctious storm of laughter, Magus calmed down and turned to the guards. “Shinning Armor, would you mind taking your dear wife to the dungeon?”
If Cadence could gasp she would have, as out of the pile of guards stepped her husband. However he was just like his subordinates; his skin was pale, his eyes empty and his face was devoid of any emotion or personality. He simply walked over to her and heaved her body up, several other guards quickly coming to help him. Magus couldn’t help but laugh as they dragged her motionless body out of the throne room.
“Ha! I didn’t think it would be this easy, they might as well just hand the country over to me at this rate…”
“Disssssccccoooord!” Pinkie Pie’s voice echoed through the vacant bakery as she looked around, slightly puzzled. “Hmm, of all the places Twilight suggested I was sure he would be here…” The pink mare poked her head into the kitchen, finding it just as empty as the rest of the store.
“Darn, he isn’t here!” She finally declared in annoyance as she sat in the middle of the bakery floor. “Well I hope the others are having better luck…”
“Hey Discord! Come on out now, ya hear?! The Princess needs ya!” Applejack hollered as she searched through the dense forest of apple trees. The orchard stretched on for quite a ways, though as the orange pony hurried through the woods she seriously doubted that she would find the draconequus.
“Discord!” She called out once again before heaving a sigh. “Ah there’s no way he’s going to be here… Ah sure wish Twilight would have sent me somewhere more useful…”
“DISCORD! DISCORD YOU IDIOT, WHERE ARE YOU?! YOUR WIFE NEEDS YOU!” Rainbow Dash roared at the top of her lungs as she cut gracefully cut through the air. Glancing down all she could see were the vast, empty plains that separated Canterlot from the distant Crystal Mountains.
There’s no way we’ll ever find Discord like this… I’ve been flying for over an hour now yelling like a complete idiot! Chances are I’ll lose my voice before we find him… The cyan pegasus sighed and kept pushing forward, knowing that this really was the only option they had.
This place was our last chance, and there’s not one sign of him… Twilight Sparkle glanced around the ruined remains of Nightmare Moon’s castle. She had not been back since the night she meet her friends and defeated Luna’s alter personality, though the building had changed very little. It was still as decrepit and destroyed as the night they had first found it.
Her friend’s had found nothing, as when they met at the arranged meeting spot they informed each other of their failures. Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity all had looked at places in and around Ponyville. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, being pegasi, had been assigned to the more remote locations of Equestria. Finally Twilight had used her magic to teleport to a wide variety of places, though all of their efforts proved to be fruitless.
The castle was the last place she had left to search, but with just a few looks around she knew Discord wasn’t there. Finally having enough she collapsed to the broken floor. “Darn it Twilight! You failed not only the princess, but all of Equestria! You’re such an idiot…” She mumbled as she bit down hard on her lip, hardly believing that she had failed at such an important task. She honestly had no idea where the draconequus could be, anywhere seemed just as likely as her current location. With a look of worry and sadness the lavender mare glanced down at the ground, finally giving into her obvious defeat.
All of Equestria’s doomed now, all because of me… Now that stupid Council is going to take power and who known’s what they’ll do… If only I were smarter, I maybe could have found out where Discord’s hiding…
Through her thoughts a final glimmer of hope ignited, it wasn’t too late just yet. “I can still find him, I just need to think!” Getting over her momentary depression, Twilight placed a hoof under her chin and did what she did best. Cities, towns and places all flew through her mind, but none of them seemed like a place the draconequus would hide. However after ten minutes of solid thinking she remembered something. Something that she had been told a very long time ago.
Wait… Princess Celestia said that Discord had his own castle! Yes, that must be it! The castle he ruled from a thousand years ago, he’s just got to be there!
The lavender mare shot up from her spot and frantically glanced around the room. She said it was in the Everfree Forest, but that isn’t really specific… I’ll have to teleport to different areas of the woods, it’s the only way I’ll ever have a chance of finding it.
“I’m coming princess, don’t you worry…” Twilight said aloud before disappearing from the destroyed castle.
Celestia sighed as she stared at the flickering torch in front of her cell. She was spread out across the rather uncomfortable floor, and she couldn’t help but frown. The situation just seemed so hopeless, even if there was still a chance that her husband could save them.
“Discord…” She mumbled as she stared at their only piece of artificial light. “Come back, please… Equestria needs you...” While she stared memories of her husband came back to her, whether they were simple pranks he had pulled, or joyous, perfect moments such as their wedding day. She missed him so much, what she would give to just hear his deep, eccentric voice. Though he was an extremely big pain in the flank, she still loved him with all her heart. He was a very sweet, kind person behind his joking appearance and demeanour. It was what made her love him in the first place. “I need you…”
Discord glanced around with a blank stare as a heavy sigh past his lips. The castle was still in the same decrepit state that he had last remembered it; almost as if someone had plucked the building from time itself and thrust it back into the present. The walls still sat in their half crumbled states, and the floor still bore scares that were inflicted long ago.
He could still remember that fateful day; the memory was still so vivid he highly doubted he would ever forget it. It was as if he could see Celestia standing before him; her expression filled with not love, but hate.
Sometimes I forget how much she hated me… How much we hated each other…
He could still hear her cold, inane voice echoing through his ears mere moments before he was imprisoned. Aside from when Celestia had first broken his heart, it was the most painful moment in his life.
“Discord! Your reign of chaos and terror ends here! There’s nowhere left to run!” Celestia roared as she slammed her hooves against the stone floor, the sound echoing throughout the massive, open throne room. Standing beside the regal white alicorn was Luna, whose dark blue coat stood as a strong contrast to her sister’s bright natural color.
A deep, animalistic growl came from Discord as he eyed the two alicorns, nothing but hate and anger bubbling up from deep inside of him. After all he had done, it had finally came down to this; just him and the two sisters. After all his tireless efforts of searching and hunting for Celestia, she had come to him willingly, but her purpose was not what he had originally intended. “It’s been a long time, Celestia… Do you remember when we last met? When you crushed my heart and all my dreams?” He hissed to her, his much deeper tone of pain being buried by his intense hatred of her.
“You’re a monster, and that’s all you ever were! You never even loved me! Luna was right about you!” Celestia declared as she took a step towards the Draconequus’s twisted throne.
Discord’s frown shaped into a furious scowl as he continued to watch her. Just seeing her standing there brought forth old memories of pain, which then manifested itself as anger. He truly hated her now, and wished nothing but to watch her die a horrible, painful death. The mere thought of it brought a smile to his lips. “You’re right… I am a monster…” With that he raised a claw and an odd aura surrounded both of the royal sisters. With just a flick of his wrist the two alicorns were thrown across the room, their impacts against the wall echoing all around them.
Celestia slouched down against the wall before falling to the ground in a heap. The impact against the dense stone wall had been painful, but not severe enough to cause any serious damage. After a moment, she jumped to her hooves and charged towards the Draconequus.
“Stupid girl…” He growled as he once again picked her up with his reality bending powers. She struggled and flailed in the air fruitlessly, trying with all her might to break his telekinetic grip. She was finally in the palm of his hand. After all this time, he could make her feel the same pain he had experienced. He would break her, slowly and painfully. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, Celestia… I just want you to remember that you deserve every agonizing second of this…” He smirked to her as he stared into her eyes. This was all he wanted now. He didn’t want to love her and be together like those days long past. Now he merely wanted to cause her pain. A great deal of pain.
Discord raised his lion’s paw and pressed two of his fingers together. Just as he was about to inflict the first painful, torturous blow to Celestia, he was hit directly in the chest with a burst of light. His body froze up, and the alicorn broke free from his grip.
“Alright Luna, now!” Celestia declared as their horns light up. He could only watch in horror as six separate gems appeared from seemingly nowhere, each casting a colored light onto him. Unbeknownst to him, they were the Elements of Harmony, the secret weapon the two alicorns had brought to topple his reign of tyranny. The stunning spell Luna had cast kept him efficiently locked in place as the lights grew brighter, finally joining together in a brilliant rainbow. He was hit full force with the blast, and in fear, he watched as his body slowly turned to a dull, grey stone.
He glanced at Celestia as the stone enveloped everything up to his head, leaving the rest of his body locked in place. She merely stared at him, watching with a scowl as he was slowly imprisoned. She held no feelings of love for him anymore; hate had completely replaced those old emotions. So as the stone crossed over his eyes and he was placed into his thousand year prison, his heart broke a second time. The last real thing he saw before his seemingly eternal banishment was her face, twisted and morphed from that once perfect image he had loved.
Celestia…
The intense light faded and Twilight Sparkle once again found herself in a remote part of the forest. It was much darker here, as the trees were old and had grown to massive proportions. She would have stopped to admire the giant oak tree standing near her, but there were far more pressing matters to attend to.
The lavender unicorn looked around, hoping to spot some sort of civilization through the thick foliage. Disappointingly however, she caught not a single glimpse of stone or any sort of ancient castle. This had been her seventh teleport, and the exhausting spell had been slowly sapping her strength. She could hardly stand, and wished nothing more than to close her eyes and drift off to a nice, relaxing dream.
No, Twilight! You have to find Discord and save the Princesses!
Twilight’s eyes immediately shot open and she stood at attention. Her mind was right; she had to concentrate on finding the castle, even if it required another exhausting teleport…
Sighing, she closed her eyes and teleported off to another part of the forest.
A mere second later Twilight found herself in a slightly similar looking part of the forest. For the eighth time, she began the quick search of the surrounding area, and just as the seven that preceded it she found nothing. Sighing once again she paced across a slightly open clearing, just a small gap in between the dense trees. The dirt was soft and felt good underneath her hooves. It would have been a great place to take a nap, but she knew better.
Remember, the Princess is counting on you! All of Equestria is counting on you! She told herself firmly, believing that the words would motivate her enough to cast another teleport spell. The lavender unicorn looked around a bit more, yet found this area of the forest just as abandoned and lifeless as the rest.
Maybe there isn’t a castle here; maybe I’m just imagining things… Twilight let out another sigh as she stopped, wondering if this indeed was the best way to find the wayward Draconequus. I do remember the Princess telling me though! It was a long time ago, before the wedding…
Twilight racked her brain, trying desperately to bring back the old memory and any accompanying facts that could help. All she could recall was a discussion with the Princess not long after they had sealed Discord away for a second time. They had been discussing the then evil villain, and the Princess had briefly remarked about a castle in the Everfree Forest…
“Ugh, why didn’t you pay more attention to her?!” Twilight scolded herself as she let out a heavy groan. “I’ll never find this stupid castle at this rate…” The lavender unicorn was far more preoccupied with putting herself down then paying attention to where she was walking, and because of this, she tripped over a root and began rolling down a hill.
After a quite painful decent down the bumpy hill, Twilight brushed the dirt off of herself and got to her hooves. “Why am I so stupid?! I can’t even walk right!” However, she quickly dropped her previous comment when she looked up, seeing a massive towering building of stone standing in front of her.
It was a large structure, though she was sure it was even bigger in its prime. Right in front of her was the main gate house, whose iron portcullis had long rusted away into nothing. Only a few levels of the castle were still standing, the upper levels having no doubt crumbled and fallen after many years. Trees, fungus and all sorts of vegetation were now the only occupants of the castle, as it had seemingly covered every inch of the decrepit stone.
“Th….th…” Twilight was at a loss for words as she looked at the old castle. “That’s it! I found it! Oh, thank Celestia!” She exclaimed in glee as she hurried through the gate and into the palace itself. I knew I could do it… now I just need to find Discord!
The next room was hardly different then the outside as the ceiling had crumbled away, leaving moss and vines to claim the once magnificent building. “Discord!” She called out into the empty room, frowning when she heard no reply. Well, I better start looking… It shouldn’t take too long to find him in this place, what with more than half of it being destroyed and all…
“Have you two heard the news? It’s absolutely dreadful!” Rarity exclaimed to her friends as she hurried over to them, nearly tripping over her own hooves in the process. The two of them were standing beside the large fountain in Ponyville’s town square, talking about some idle banter.
Pinkie Pie and Applejack looked over to watch the prim white unicorn race over to them, stopping for one quick moment to make sure she had not chipped a hoof. After seeing that her perfect manicure was still intact, she finished the short walk and stood beside them.
“Oh, hey Rarity. What’s going on? Did Twilight find Discord?! Oh oh, I bet that’s the news, isn’t it!” Pinkie Pie bounced up and down with glee at their apparent victory.
“Why would that be the news, Pinkie? She said it was dreadful, not good!” Applejack stated to her pink friend.
“Oh, right…”
Rarity merely rolled her eyes at her two incompetent friends and began explaining the situation. “I’ve just heard what’s going on in Canterlot, and it’s awful! This Arcana Council that Twilight was talking about have completely taken over the city! With no other rulers, the army has no choice but to listen to them!”
“So, you’re sayin’ that this council now rules Equestria?! But what about all the ponies still loyal to the Princesses?” Applejack quickly exclaimed, not having realized sooner that the situation was this serious.
“They said that the Princesses are dead and that the unicorns are the rightful rulers now! This whole thing is getting very dangerous, so I certainly hope Twilight finds Discord soon…” Rarity sighed as she glanced down at her hooves.
“Well, Dashie and Fluttershy are still out looking, but I don’t know if we can do this anymore… We looked everywhere Twilight suggested, and we didn’t find any sign of him!” Pinkie Pie said sullenly.
“I know, I suppose the only thing we can do now is hope that she finds him before things get any worse…”
Discord clamped his eyes shut and tried to force out the old, painful memory. He had lived through that one at least a thousand times while he was imprisoned, and he really didn’t want to go through it again. Instead, he turned away from the spot she had stood, and looked grimly out the open roof.
“O that this too sullied flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew, or that the Everlasting had not fix’d his cannon ‘gainst self-slaughter. O God! God! How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable seem to me all the uses of this world!”
His words echoed back to him, seeming foreign and different then when they had first come out of his mouth. As if another person entirely had spoken them, and he was merely listening.
I didn’t think it would be this boring out here… But I deserve this, every agonizing second… This is the only place fit for monster like me…
Discord sighed and leaned back in his throne, his eyes glancing up at the vast starry night above him. Luna’s night was a beautiful thing; a true gift that he and many others often took for granted. The same could be said for Celestia’s sun, which rose in such a brilliant array of colors that not even the most skilled painter could capture a fraction of its beauty. It was just like her, perfect and flawless in every way.
And that’s why I can never be with her…
He closed his eyes and took in the eternal silence around him. It was dead quiet; not even a bird or mouse stirring through the old ruins of his once magnificent castle could be heard. The only thing he did hear was the soft sound of hooves on stone… no doubt his imagination once again recreating that fateful day.
He didn’t want to open his eyes; he didn’t want to once again see her standing there, her eyes ablaze with fury and hate. More hooftsteps came to his ears, yet he still kept his eyes shut to the imaginary sound. Go away… I can’t handle this again… go away…
He had loved her more than anything, and the time he had spent with her, however short, was worth the thousand years alone. He couldn’t stand seeing her that angry again, not after all the happiness they had just recently experienced.
The hoofsteps continued to grow louder as if she was getting closer and closer to him. He could hear somepony yelling, though he merely took it as her furious roars from the past. He kept his eyes closed, too afraid of the sight that was in front of him.
“Go away…” He mumbled into the empty room, still refusing to open his eyes. The yelling grew louder, and as it did Discord cringed. “Go away…” He repeated once more, wishing more than anything for the old memories to simply disappear.
However, it seemed she ignored his pleas, as the yelling still continued. He didn’t make out the words; he didn’t want to. Hearing them once was more than enough. He didn’t want to have to listen to Celestia’s angry insults and roars a second time.
“Go away…” His whole body was shaking now as he snarled at the air. “Go away!” The yelling didn’t stop. “Go away!” Still, it refused to halt and only grew louder. “GO AWAY!”
Discord yelled at the top of his lungs as his eyes shot open. His jaw immediately dropped at the sight in front of him. It wasn’t his imagination reliving old memories as he had thought. It was a unicorn. “T-twilight… Sparkle?”
“Discord! Finally, why didn’t you answer me before?! You were just sitting there yelling at me to go away!” Twilight exclaimed as she was finally glad to get a real response out of him. She had been absolutely delighted when she had first caught sight of him sitting on his throne, but was disappointed when he merely sat there with his eyes closed.
“I… I thought…” Discord’s voice trailed off as he tried to grasp the reality of the whole situation. Finally, after a few moments of thought, he spoke up once again. “Wh- what are you doing here? How did you find me?”
“There’s no time to explain, but you need to go back to Canterlot and save your wife! She’s in really big trouble!”
Discord was surprised at her words, since the very last thing he expected was the unicorn coming to get help. “Why? What’s wrong?!” He quickly snapped, concern for his wife the first thing coming to mind.
“The Arcana Council! They’ve rebelled against the Princesses and locked them up! You need to go back there and save them!” Twilight yelled as she jumped practically five feet in the air; time was of the essence and every second they spent talking was a second lost.
“T-The Aracana Council? I never…” Discord’s voice trailed off once again as he took in her words. After a few moments he sighed and leaned back in his throne. “…And just what can I do? I’m just a… monster…”
Twilight stared at him in complete surprise. She had expected the Draconequus to immediately rise to the occasion and go off to save the princess. “What are you talking about?! Get off your flank and go save the Princesses!”
“You just don’t understand Twilight… you never will…”
Finally, something triggered in the unicorn’s mind, and she remembered why he was acting so weird. “You still must be depressed! Listen Discord, your wife and all of Equestria needs you! Snap out of it and go save her!”
“I’m depressed, huh? Is that what you’d call it? I’d say I’m thinking more clearly than I ever have… Look at me Twilight; I’m the ugliest, most horrific creature in all of Equestria… Do you think I belong with Celestia? Do you think I belong anywhere in this world?” Discord mumbled as he continued to stare at her.
Twilight stood silent for a few seconds. She hadn’t expected him to still be depressed, let alone this far into it. “Of course you belong with her! She’s your wife and she loves you more than anything!”
“Maybe now, but it wasn’t always like that… Hate isn’t a strong enough word to describe what she felt for me… And she had good reason to; I destroyed her entire kingdom and replaced it with my own just because she rejected me… I caused so much pain and suffering, and for what? So I could see her suffer too? I’m a monster, Twilight, and I belong here...”
She couldn’t help but stare at him. Never before had she seen him in such a vulnerable state. He looked so weak and defenseless, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “But Discord… That doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. What really matters is what you do now, and that’s saving the Princesses!”
“And just how am I supposed to save her?! I couldn’t even save myself; instead I just became a twisted, freakish monster… She deserves so much more than me… What she deserves is some beautiful, strong stallion that could actually make her happy... All I ever did was cause her a bunch of stress…”
“Don’t think like that, Discord! You’re still just stuck in one of the stages! Now just snap your little talons and let’s go save Equestria, there’s no time to waste!”
Discord sighed and turned his head away from her. “Go away. Find somepony else to save her… I’ll just sit here and rot for the rest of time…”
Just like the other stages, it seemed impossible to change the Draconequus’s way of thinking. He was simply set on being depressed, and no matter what she said, he merely ignored her. But this was the most pivotal and important stage; after this would be acceptance. And with acceptance he would get the strength to save his wife.
I need to make him snap out of it, but how? He passed through all the other stages on his own, how am I supposed to do anything? Oh, Princess… I wish you were here…
Then it came to her, like a miracle, the idea suddenly appeared in her head. Grinning, she looked up at the depressed Draconequus. “Remember before the wedding, not long after my friends and I put you back in stone?”
Discord glanced up, slightly curious at her odd comment. “Yes…”
“Well, remember when the Princess came to you that night? When everything changed? She told me all about it and the exact words she said…”
The question brought the memory back to his mind, of that cold night in the garden when Celestia had for some reason visited him. He could still picture her face as she spoke; the sad, gloomy expression that had so deeply affected him along with her words.
“Now, whenever I look at you, I grow a hatred for myself. Remorse that maybe you could have been saved. I blame myself for what’s happened to you, and although you may have been a monster; although you may have wanted chaos… Maybe, just maybe, I….”
He quickly dismissed the memory and looked at Twilight with a angry scowl. “None of that matters anymore! Don’t you see? It’s as if fate itself doesn’t want us together! Our entire relationship has been marred by tragedy… From when she rejected me, to when she imprisoned me. From when I broke out the first time, to when you and Luna franticly tried to stop our wedding. And now, Celestia’s pregnant and some stupid council’s overthrown her… We don’t belong together, Twilight… I realize that now more than anything…”
“But… but…” Twilight’s voice slowly died as she continued to look at him. She had been so certain that that would have worked. Though she was now seeing that it was no different than the rest of her words.
Discord once again turned away from her. “Now leave… I hope you find somepony else to save her…”
Twilight sighed, and after a moment, she reluctantly began pacing away. There was just no way she could reach the Draconequus, giving up seemed like the only option. After a minute, she was out of the throne room, leaving Discord to sit alone.
She’ll find somepony… He told himself firmly, mostly as a way to combat the guilt he was feeling for leaving his wife. It’s just some weak council… in fact, I’m sure the guards have it all under control by now… Nothing’s wrong, I can just keep sitting here alone…
Deep down he missed her more than words could describe, but he knew he couldn’t go back. The universe just didn’t want them to be a couple. Even if she had… she had…
“I…” Tears were now pouring from her face, and it took all her strength to keep from falling to the ground in a sobbing fit.
The memory thrust itself back into his mind, her tears almost visible in the shimmering moonlight. In fact the sky tonight looked just as it had back then. Almost as if it was some sort of sign. No! Forget about it, I belong here… I just need to remember that…
Discord looked up, and standing right in front of him was Celestia, looking just as she did that night. Tears ran down her face, and her distressed state spoke just as clearly to him as it did back then. She looked up at him, staring right into his mismatched pupils.
“…Loved you…”
That was all it took. After those two words, Discord was on the stone floor bawling his eyes out. She had really loved him, even after all the pain and suffering he had caused. Despite being a monster, she had feelings for him, she had been able to get past all the horrible acts he had committed.
If she could do it, so can I…
After a moment, he quickly recomposed himself and got to his feet. Smiling for the first time in quite awhile, he raised his talons and a loud snap echoed through the stone chamber. The next second Twilight was standing in front of him, a very confused expression on her face.
“D-Discord?” She questioned, not understanding why she was suddenly back in the ruined throne room.
The Draconequus straightened his back and stood tall as he looked at her with a grin. “No time to explain, Twilight, we have my wife to save!”
Now understanding the situation, Twilight smiled back and jumped up in glee. “Yes, yes, yes!!! Let’s go kick some flank!”
“Yes, indeed! You know, I almost feel sorry for the Arcana Council. If they knew what I’m about to do to them, they never would have tried to overthrow my wife…” With that, Discord snapped his talons and he and Twilight disappeared, leaving the old castle behind him for good.
“I can’t believe this actually happening! Are we really just sitting down here while those evil unicorns take over your kingdom?!” Princess Cadence yelled in frustration as she once again became bored of pacing her small cell.
“Well, what can we do? As we’ve already told you, these cells are magically reinforced. We just have to wait here until Twilight Sparkle and her friends find Discord.” Luna replied sternly, now having enough of the younger alicorn’s complaining.
Cadence sighed in response before slumping to the cold floor. “What will it matter? Isn’t he still all crazy?”
“As soon as he hears that I’m in trouble he’ll snap out of it!” Celestia exclaimed as she stared blankly at the wall. Or maybe not… maybe he doesn’t even care about me anymore…
“I hope so, sister, for all our sakes…” Silence followed soon after, as the three alicorns waited in the relative darkness. The more Celestia waited, the more she feared that the Draconequus had truly abandoned her. After all we’ve been through, he can’t just let it end here… He still loves me… He has too…
Magus chuckled as he drained the last of the wine from his chalice, a relaxed grin crossing his slightly red face. “Ah… It’s good to be emperor…” He mumbled before quickly refilling his cup with his magic. Standing around him were his fellow council members; all of them drinking and talking amongst themselves.
“A toast, my brothers and sisters…” Magus slurred to the five unicorns as he was sprawled sideways across his new throne, his head dangling freely off of the side of the armrest. “To our great victory! Where Nightmare Moon, Discord and Chrysalis all failed, we succeeded!”
They all cheered in response as the clinking of cups filled the air. “And of course, what better way to celebrate this momentous day then to execute the last three alicorns in existence!” He exclaimed to more roars of excitement. Magus glanced out one of the far windows, and the few beams of light indicated to him that sundown wasn’t far away. Come a few more hours, and Equestria will finally be rid of those pesky alicorns. Then WE, the unicorns, will take our rightful place over those other inferior races!
As Magus stared up at the high ceiling, lost in happy thought, his fellow council members returned to their debates about the many rather boring affairs that he couldn’t be bothered with.
I can’t wait to see the look on Celestia’s face; I think I’ll execute her sister first! Or maybe her niece… Hmm, I wonder which would hurt her more…
Magus and the rest of the council were so focused on their drinking and celebrating that they didn’t notice the loud pop that echoed through the room, or even the tall Draconequus and much smaller lavender unicorn that were now standing in its center.
“Wait, what?! Why are we here? Aren’t we getting the rest of my friends first?” Twilight questioned, quickly looking up at Discord.
“They can wait; right now I have six idiots to take care of…”
Immediately, the said six idiots noticed the two new guests, and were soon left staring in a mix of shock and horror.
“Magus,” Discord turned to look at the seated unicorn, dressed in his blood red cape and golden crown. He looked more like a foal in adult’s clothes then an Emperor. “Get out of my chair…”
Magus rolled off of his throne and crashed to the floor, glancing up at the Draconequus in disbelief. “P-p-p-prince D-d-discord! Wh-what are you doing here?!” He yelled, practically choking with each broken syllable he uttered. He, along with his fellow council members, all wore the same terrified, panic stricken expressions.
“Oh, not much. I just came by to deal with a bunch of moronic unicorns that thought they take advantage of my wife while I was in a state of mental imbalance…”
“B-b-but you…” Magus continued to stare at Discord, his jaw hanging low in horror. After a few moments of silence he sighed, then quickly changed his fearful expression to one of confidence. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. We rule Equestria now, and you can’t stop us!”
“Oh, I can’t?” Discord asked with a mocking grin, his voice an odd mixture of anger and amusement. He raised up his sharp talons, two of his fingers pressed together. “Now before I violently rip you and your unicorn oligarchy limb from limb, I just want to ask you one question, Magus.”
“Y-yes?”
“Did you honestly think you could get away with this? I’m a god, after all! I could end all six of your lives with just one snap…” Discord muttered, his eyes lingering from the council to his outstretched talon, as if almost considering it.
“My plan was brilliant! It IS brilliant!” Magus exclaimed with a sudden burst of courage. “As soon as Luna told us that your wife was pregnant, I saw the opportunity. She wouldn’t dare risk harming her foal in battle, so that meant we just had to deal with you and her bratty sister. Luna was easy to get rid of, as a few weeks of raising the sun and moon left her as weak as an earth pony.” The unicorn stopped to stifle a laugh at his racial joke.
“And then you just waited for me to leave…” Discord mumbled with a frown.
“Of course! With the way you were acting, I knew it was only a matter of time before you bailed on your wife…”
Twilight quickly broke up their conversation. “Discord, remember that you’re wife is still sitting in a cell! Let’s save her already!”
Discord nodded, “You’re right, Twilight. I’ve had enough of this idiot’s ramblings.”
Magus growled before pushing to the front of the small crowd, now standing directly in front of the Draconequus to meet his piercing gaze. “We never intended to fight you, Discord. But I think we’re more than strong enough to deal with a freak of a god…”
Several of the room’s doors were suddenly opened, no doubt by the unicorn’s magic. Crowds of armoured guards poured in, and after a minute of the booming noise of hooves on stone, they stood ready. From what Discord could tell, there were at least four dozen of them. Twilight quickly lowered her head, her horn poised at the nearest guard.
“So, Discord.” Magus chuckled, much braver now that a horde of soldiers had entered the room. “Half of the Royal Guard is here, and you’re facing the six strongest unicorns in Equestria. Do you really think you can beat me?”
“Well, you might as well get the other half over here, because this won’t be nearly enough.” Discord stated with a grin, the large amount of guards not even fazing him.
“We’ll see about that…” Magus mumbled before firing off an orange spell, directed right at the Draconequus’s chest. He teleported away, however, and the spell merely hit a wall, leaving a streak of black. Discord appeared in another part of the room, laughing up a storm.
“Missed me!” He taunted, teleporting again as six separate spells hit the spot he once stood.
As Discord continued to dodge the council’s spells with ease, a large group of the guards had gone after Twilight. She easily took out three of them with her magic, though there was simply too many for her to fight. She closed her eyes in panic as several of them charged at her, a terrible fear sitting in her stomach as she did. However, instead of being violently attacked as she had expected, a loud clattering noise filled her ears.
She slowly opened her eyes, hardly believing that small, metal spoons were now sitting where the guards once were. Indeed, all of the armoured ponies that had been in the room mere seconds ago were now gone. Her shock, however, was nowhere near that of Magus and the Arcana Council.
“SPOONS?!” Magus roared as he looked between the small objects and the floating, laughing Draconequus. “You turned them to spoons?!”
“Why yes, I did!” Discord said as he smiled at their expressions, once again terrified now that their only real advantage was gone.
“Magus, you idiot! This is all your fault! We never should have listened to you!” One of the male unicorns bellowed at their now most likely former Emperor.
“This isn’t over yet!” He yelled in response before turning back to Discord. He sent another spell his way, it only ending up scorching the beautiful marble walls. No matter how fast he acted, the Draconequus effortlessly avoided all of his spells. After only a few minutes, he, along with the rest of the council, were exhausted.
“Getting a little tired, Magus?” Discord asked after yet another teleport. Twilight was simply watching with a smile, much preferring watching the chaotic god deal with them then acting herself.
“N-no…” He mumbled in response, taking a deep, heavy breath right afterwards. “I…I can beat you…”
“Oh, can you? Well, fire away! I’ll even stand perfectly still for you!” Discord grinned as he dragged his paw across his chest, a painted target appearing just as it had done long ago.
“With pleasure…” Magus said before firing another spell at him, his other council members doing the same. With glee, he watched the six separate spells hit Discord directly in the chest. His once floating body immediately fell to the ground in a heap, the unicorn letting out a triumphant yell right after. “HA! I knew it, even a god can’t defeat me!”
Twilight looked at his body with concern before running over to him. She hadn’t expected the Draconequus to actually take the spells, having believed it was just a trick he was playing. “Discord!” She yelled before stopping in front of him, “Are you alright?!”
“See, this is why you put your trust in me…” Magus remarked to the other unicorns. “I led us to victory over the alicorn’s, and so have I over Discord!”
“Ugh…” Discord moaned before his body stirred, shocking the council that had just been celebrating moments earlier. He raised himself back up, cracking his neck as he did so. “Wow, that actually kind of stung!” He said before breaking out into laughter.
Magus looked at him as if he just had fell a thousand miles and survived. “H-how?! That would have easily killed any pony!”
“Well, I’m not a pony, now am I…” He said slyly before raising back into the air. “Now, I think it’s about time I finally took care of you six…” He raised his talon again, and as he did an orange aura surrounded Magus and the rest of the council. They were lifted up into the air despite their protests, and after a flick of his wrist, they were violently thrown against the ceiling. Their impacts echoed through the room, before Discord sent them crashing to the ground.
After a few moments, Magus slowly got his hooves, his body now aching all over. A sharp pain sliced through his back, and it hurt to even stand. He felt like he had in fact fell a thousand miles. “N-n-now Discord… Can’t we just talk this out?”
“Oh, it’s FAR too late for that.” Discord smiled before throwing their bodies around again, finally leaving them to lie broken and battered on the ground after a few minutes. Magus was the only one out of the group who could still stand, though his body ached incredibly with even the smallest movements.
“We don’t have to solve this with violence…” Magus stated, trying to sound as nice as possible. He shot a quick glance at the nearby lavender mare, an idea immediately coming to mind. “We’re both civilized creatures, aren’t we Discord?”
Discord glared at him. “I’m the only civilized one between the two of us, Magus. You’re the brute who tried to take advantage of my pregnant wife and her exhausted sister.”
As soon as Discord finished speaking, Magus teleported past him and beside Twilight. He quickly cast a spell at her before she could react, leaving the element of magic withering on the ground. He turned to Discord and gave him a devilish grin.
“Twilight!” Discord shouted as he went to raise a talon, though he was halted as Magus spoke up.
“Now now Discord, you wouldn’t want Celestia’s personal student to get hurt, would you?” He asked as he pointed his horn at the suffering unicorn, whose body was twitching from the intense, burning pain of the spell.
“Don’t you dare…”
Magus only laughed at his serious reply. “Unless you want little Twilight here to be a part of the first execution under my reign, you’ll do whatever I say.”
“I’ll never take orders from you…” Discord shot him a glare that would have shattered ice, though the unicorn was hardly fazed by it.
“Well, we’ll see in just a moment then…” Magus’s eyes lingered from the struggling unicorn to the Draconequus. “Get my council members over there back on their hooves, then we’ll escort you peacefully to your cell. If you don’t comply, then Celestia will just have to find another student…”
Through the searing pain, Twilight only heard parts of what they spoke, though she was certain what the vile unicorn’s intentions were. The question then was, would Discord risk her to save Equestria and his wife? She would have thought more about this, but the feeling of burning flesh easily distracted her thoughts.
“So Discord, what do you choose? Either you give up, or Twilight dies…”
After a moment of silence Discord appeared to have come to a decision. He spoke up, and Magus listened closely for the words that would signal his victory.
“I choose… Neither.” Discord snapped his talons and a bolt of lightning appeared from the ceiling, striking the unicorn with an exceedingly bright flash. Magus was left covered in black soot, his eyes wide open and his mouth agape.
"Ow..." He groaned at the unbelievable pain of ten million volts flowing through his body before collapsing to the floor.
Discord snapped his talons again, and Twilight immediately felt the pain in her body dissipate. After a few moments, she got to her hooves and smiled upon seeing the vanquished Emperor lying beside her. “Discord, you did it!” She congratulated before running over to him.
“Was there ever any doubt?” He grinned before shooting her the first real smile she had seen from him in a long time. “But we can’t celebrate just yet. This still isn’t over…” He motioned to nearby body of Magus. His cape had been all but turned to ash from the lightning, and his crown of gold was now black and twisted from the intense heat. The only notification that he was still alive was the pained groans passing his lips every now and then.
“So Magus, had enough?”
A muffled groan was his only response, and Discord merely chuckled. He hadn’t wanted to hurt him this badly with the last blow, but he often underestimated his powers. “Let’s get you on your hooves…”
Despite his protests, Magus was lifted to the ground and left standing with his aching body. “You gods make me sick… Thinking that you have the right to order mortals around... We unicorn’s deserve to rule… we are the only mortal race with the power of magic!”
“Bah, like I believe any of that! You aren’t doing this for your race or Equestria! It’s perfectly clear to me that you’re just some egotistical, power hungry, sniveling little worm…” Discord’s voice turned cold and serious once again. He raised his talon again, threatening him. “Let’s just see how you feel without your precious magic…”
He snapped his talons, leaving Magus to gaze at him in horror. His body felt the same, pain and all, and nothing seemed different. But when he slowly reached a hoof to the top of his head, he let out a gasp.
“M-M-MY HORN!” He instantly yelled, his hooves still fumbling around his head. Everything he had worked through in life was now gone; all the countless hours of reading spell books and practicing, wasted. His horn was gone, and without that, he was no better than an earth pony. “GIVE ME BACK MY HORN THIS SECOND!”
The sudden burst of anger from the obviously pained leader surprised him, though he hardly listened to his threats. More cries of rage and protest filled the room, as the five exhausted ponies beside him realized that they too were robbed of their horns. Another loud snap filled the room, and they disappeared into thin air; Discord wanting a few moments alone with their now outraged leader.
Magus’s entire body was shaking, the earlier pain being overcome by the extreme anger he now felt at the Draconequus. “DISCORD! GIVE ME BACK MY HORN RIGHT NOW, OR I SWEAR I’LL MARCH DOWN TO THE DUNGEON AND KILL YOUR WIFE PERSONALLY!” His voice boomed through the empty room; Magus was so caught up in his rage he didn’t even consider what the chaotic god would do to him in response.
Out of all the threats that Magus had uttered at Discord, this by far provoked the strongest reaction. He snapped his talons and appeared beside the now hornless pony. His talons clutched at his neck and he violently shoved him against a marble wall. His thick, sharp talons keeping a near-death grip on his esophagus. He wheezed and struggled to breath, uselessly swinging his body in an attempt to get free. Discord held his neck tighter, constricting the single vital passage of air that supplied oxygen to his whole body.
“Don’t you ever threaten my wife…” He hissed in a voice that made his spine curl.
“N-n-now now, Prince Discord, n-no need to be so angry…” Magus rasped in his most respectful voice. “I’m ever so sorry for everything I did, please just take back your throne and free the Princesses… There’s no need to resort to violence…”
“You think I’m just going to let you go? After you took advantage of my defenseless wife? I swear Magus, if I find out that you laid even a single hoof on her… well, I’d much rather just do it to you then explain it…” Discord mumbled with a scowl, giving his small neck a violent squeeze.
A glimmer of fear flashed through the unicorn’s eyes and he began trembling in his still-constricting grasp. “B-b-b-but everypony knows you’ve changed! You wouldn’t seriously harm anypony now; Celestia would never let you!” Magus stated, now seriously afraid for his own well being.
Discord leaned in closer to his face, giving him a twisted smile. “Oh, but Celestia isn’t around, now is she?”
Magus swallowed loudly and squirmed in his grip. “I-I-I can give you the key to their cells, just please let me go! I’ll never hurt another pony again!”
“You make me sick…” Discord barked before tightening his grip to the point of strangulation. Magus’s body kicked and jerked wildly as he scrambled to break the Draconequus’s grip, his face starting to turn a light blue from the lack of oxygen.
Twilight hurried over to him in worry, her eyes full of panic as she watched him choke the powerless former unicorn. “Discord, stop this! You’re going to kill him!”
“Good, I should squeeze until his little head pops off…” Discord showed no sign of stopping as his face turned a darker shade of blue.
“Discord!” Twilight called again, “Celestia wouldn’t want this!”
As Discord looked into at the former Emperor, who lay so weak and defeated in his grip, he saw maybe just a glimmer of himself. He had been no different a thousand years ago when he ruled, not caring who he killed… In fact… Wanting to take enjoyment in ending Celestia’s life. He wasn’t so different then the pony choking under his talons, and after a moment, he loosened his grip. Magus happily filled his lungs with deep breaths of fresh air.
“Fine, but we’ll settle their punishment later. Now, where’s that key?” Discord turned to ask the panting pony.
He merely pointed to the throne, and after teleporting over, he found it resting on the golden chair. It was a simple key, made of a now darkened bronze that reflected the light. “Good. Now Twilight, you wait here. I’ll go get my wife and her sister, and then we’ll come back to sort him out.”
Twilight nodded before turning her horn to Magus. She seriously doubted he would try anything, seeing as he now had no horn and his body was no doubt suffering from a lot of pain. Discord teleported away, giving the lavender mare a victorious grin before he did so.
A bright flash filled the decrepit hallway, fully illuminating the poorly lit cells. Celestia immediately looked up; the sound being so familiar in her mind. She still remembered that moment not long after she had visited Discord on that cold winter day. The same sound had echoed through the halls of the Castle mere moments before she found her future fiancée floating above her, happily enjoying the freedom of movement he had been denied. And just as before, she found him waiting there, a grin spread across his face.
“Celestia…” Was all Discord could mutter as he stared at her, not having seen her in what felt like years. Despite her ragged and weary appearance, he was still amazed by her beauty, just as much as when he had first set eyes on her face.
“Discord, you came! I almost thought you had left me…” Celestia exclaimed, now looking on the verge of tears.
Without saying a word, he hurried over to the lock, and the bronze key fit perfectly into place. He smiled, half expecting Magus to have given him a fake. He turned the key and the door swung open. Before he could even act, Celestia had pounced onto him, sending them both to the floor. She buried her face in his chest, crying her eyes out.
“Its okay! Equestria is safe and the council-” Discord began to try and comfort her, though she quickly cut him off.
“I don’t care; I was more worried about you…” She mumbled in between her sobs. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore…”
“Of course I love you! You still mean everything thing to me.” He stared at her for a few moments, watching as she cried into his fur. “I’m so sorry; I never should have left the castle… I was acting so stupid…” Discord replied as he ran his paw through her silken mane. She glanced up from his chest, her gorgeous eyes of magenta staring directly at him.
“Does that mean…” She muttered her half question, almost not believing it herself.
“Yes; I, Discord, am proud to say that I’m a father.” He stated before leaning down to her face, placing his lips on hers. Celestia embraced herself in the moment, her tears stopping. When was the last time we kissed? She silently wondered. It feels like it’s been years…
For those few moments of them embracing in the relatively dark hallway, Discord felt better than he had in months. In fact, better than when he had first heard the news from her lips. The idea of being a father now didn’t seem as daunting as it had back then, as long as he had Celestia at his side.
They broke apart and Discord continued to stare into her eyes. “We’ve been through so much together so far, so there’s no way we can’t handle just one foal. I’m excited now, if anything…”
Celestia finally heard the words she had dreamed of for the past few months. Discord’s acceptance. It seemed for the past while she was always fighting to gain somepony’s acceptance; Twilight and Luna with the wedding, and then her husband about the baby. A smile crossed her lips; her student had been right in the end. Things had turned out fine.
“Um, I hate to interrupt your reunion, but I’m still stuck in this cramped cell!” Luna barked, snapping the two of them from their trance. Discord let out a laugh before hurrying over to free her and Princess Cadence.
“Now Celestia, there’s just one final thing to take care of.” Discord stated as he watched her rise to her hooves, now looking much stronger then when he had first seen her.
“The Arcana Council.” Celestia muttered as she looked to the ceiling, Luna grinned after she said this.
“Finally, we get to punish those greedy unicorns! What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” She exclaimed as she looked to the Draconequus.
“Alright, let’s go…” He snapped his talons and the four of them vanished, leaving behind the dark cells for what they hoped would be the last time.
Punishment
Discord and the three royal alicorns materialized in the throne room, finding it in the same partial destroyed state that the Draconequus had left it as.
“Wow, that certainly must have been some battle…” Luna remarked as she gazed at the dozens of black scorch marks that lined the walls and ceiling.
“Eh, not really. For the six strongest unicorns in Equestria they didn’t put up much of a fight…” Discord mumbled as he turned to Twilight and the lone council member.
Magus was still lying on the ground, now looking completely mortified at the sight of the two Princesses. Just hours ago he had been the one in control; he had been Emperor of Equestria, while they were just two powerless alicorns. If only we had executed them sooner … He thought to himself silently while still staring at the Princess of the Sun.
“Well, well…” Celestia muttered as she paced over to him, partially shocked at the state of him. Discord had certainly given him a beating, though this didn’t raise any pity for him. “Where’s the rest of your little band of traitors?”
Magus glanced around at the empty room, almost asking himself the same question. “I… I don’t know…”
“Oh, right! I almost forget about them!” Discord exclaimed before snapping his talons. The five former unicorns reappeared in front of them, though their skin was a dark blue and they were shivering uncontrollably.
“What did you do to them?” Luna questioned as she looked them over, a couple of them looking on the near verge of death.
“I just sent them to the most northern, remote part of Equestria I could think of, while I dealt with their ‘illustrious’ leader. I’m surprised they’re still alive to be honest…”
“M-m-m-magus, t-t-this is all your f-f-fault…”One of them muttered between the loud clattering of his teeth.
“Y-y-yes, we sh-should have just e-e-executed them in the f-f-first place…” A mare stated, her previously beautiful lavender mane had frozen and she could hardly keep her balance. Altogether, they looked on the brink of hypothermia; some even had icicles forming on their bodies. Had the Draconequus left them in the icy north for much longer they certainly would have perished.
“Executed?” Celestia repeated with a tone of surprise as she stared at Magus.
“Uh, n-n-no your highness!” He shrank to the floor, her piercing gaze feeling like daggers entering his skin. “I would never have done such a thing; I merely planned to keep you locked up!”
Discord broke out into laughter at his absurd lie. “Oh right, and it’s not like you just threatened to kill Twilight or anything either…”
Celestia’s gaze turned from daggers to battle axes as her eyes narrowed. “You threatened to kill my personal student?”
Magus couldn’t even speak at this point, only managing a weak squeak in response. He was like a mouse in front of a lion; merely waiting for his inevitable fate.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Her stern, inane voice lashed out at him like a whip. After a few moments of regaining himself, the former Emperor spoke.
“I’m ever so sorry your highness…” He rasped; the vocal damage caused by Discord being clearly audible. He assumed the same groveling tone as before and tried to look as weak as possible. “I never should have tried to overthrow you, I realize now all I really need is the power of friendship…”
“He’s lying!” Both Discord and Luna blurted out at the same time.
“I know.” Celestia replied as she continued to give him a cold stare. “So Discord, sister, what do you think would be a fair punishment for these six treasonous ponies?”
“Wh-what?!” Magus stuttered, horrified at her response. “Y-you won’t forgive us? But you forgave Luna and Discord, even after all they did!”
“Yes, but remember both of them were banished for a thousand years as punishment first.” Celestia stated, grinning slightly.
“Y-you don’t mean…” The former unicorn mumbled, terrified at the idea of spending a thousand years in stone or on the moon.
Discord immediately smiled and began rubbing his hands. “That’s such a boring punishment Celly; I’ve already taken the great liberty to come up with some far better ideas!”
“Oh really?” Celestia asked, somewhat both amused and scared with whatever twisted punishment he had come up with.
“I’ve got dozens, but I think this one’s the best! First we hang them on the tallest spires of the castle, and then an eagle picks out their liver.”
Magus swallowed hard, the rest of the council members would have too but their throats were half frozen, not to mention it was already a tremendous task for them to even breathe.
“But that’s not all of course, their liver will grow back and the eagle will do the same thing the next day! I think a few hundred years of that will suffice, don’t you?”
“Does it have to be their liver?” Luna questioned as she turned to the Draconequus. “Why not their kidneys, or their stomach?”
“Well why would it be anything else? What better ideas do you have?”
“Well, I was just thinking of using them as decorations for the next Nightmare Night, entrails draped around the castle would fit perfectly right?”
The two immortals continued bickering as Magus watched, shrinking to the ground even more after each of their horrific comments. Twilight watched in brief confusion, before turning to her teacher.
“Uh Princess, you’re not really going to let them do some of these things… are you? I know they’re evil and tried to overthrow you and all, AND tried to kill us, but doesn’t this sound a little extreme?” The lavender mare asked, her conscience taking hold of her.
“Of course not, but it is very amusing to watch Magus’s face. As soon as they stop arguing I’ll settle this.” Celestia replied with a whisper and a small smile as she watched them, and soon after, true to her words they stopped fighting.
“Well those ideas are great and all, but what do you think their punishment should be Celly?” Discord asked, now finally turning from Luna to the regal white alicorn.
“Five hundred years in stone.” Celestia replied with a completely straight face, which caused Magus to let out a shriek.
“F-f-five hundred years?! B-b-but you can’t!” The former Emperor snapped at her, his sudden anger overwhelming the intense fear that had previously immobilized him.
Discord shrugged his shoulders and let out a sigh. “I guess if you want to use the easy way out… But at least make it eight hundred years, you’re going too easy on them.”
“TO EASY?!” Magus yelled at him.
“Six hundred.” Celestia stated in reply, the hornless unicorn merely looked back and forth between the two.
“Fine, let’s get this over with then. I’ve got just the spot to put these six…” Discord mumbled before snapping his talons, causing them all to disappear from the throne room.
They all appeared moments later in the Royal Garden, the fall weather blowing a harsh breeze through the air. Celestia glanced around, and within moments she knew exactly where they were. Sitting mere feet from them was a cleared area in the forest of fauna, where not long ago a stone statue once stood. The cold, biting air was just like that of the night when she visited that statue; though her purpose here was entirely different.
“Well, what do you think?” Discord asked, his attention turned towards the six ponies. “It’s a great view really, and don’t worry if you can’t take it all in yet. You’ll be looking at this place for a long time…” He raised his talons, the former Emperor immediately crying out in response.
“That’s it?! No trial or anything? You can’t do this!” Magus snapped; trying even now at the very end to escape from his punishment.
“Well, under normal circumstances, we would conduct a fair and orderly trial…” Celestia began, “However, I think there is absolutely no doubt about your crimes and a trial would just be a waste of time. Therefore, I will act as, how do they say it? Judge, jury and executioner?” She stated while giving him a devious smile.
“I certainly would have liked to be executioner…” Luna remarked with a slight scowl.
“So.” Celestia looked over the six former unicorns. Magus was looking as terrified as ever, with whatever attempts at concealing his fear failing quite badly. The other five’s coat’s had started returning to their natural colors, though they still held a tinge of blue. “All six of you are convicted of high treason, attempted murder and a myriad of other charges. Therefore I sentence you all-”
“I would just like to say Princess…” The pony known as Starwind spoke up; the only one of the five having enough courage to speak. “That this was completely Magus’s idea; we had hardly anything to do with it! We would most graciously return to work for-”
“Not a chance.” Celestia immediately cut off, leaving the stallion speechless. “You all had just as much a part in this as him. As I was saying, I sentence you all with six hundred years in stone, to be served here in the Royal Gardens. Perhaps this will teach you all a lesson.”
Magus stared on in horror as Discord rubbed his hands together. “Well that’s it then! I’ll see you all in six hundred years…” He went to snaps his talons, but their former leader cut him off.
“At least give me my horn back, if I’m to be a statue I at least want to be remembered as a unicorn!”
“And you think you deserve that? Believe me; if I was in charge here I’d be giving you something a lot worse than half a millennium in stone…” The Draconequus glared at him, quickly putting a stop to his protests.
Celestia turned to her husband and stared at him for a moment. “Discord, give them their horns back. I know their evil, but magic most likely means everything to them. I personally don’t know what I’d do if my magic was taken away for forever…”
Discord sighed before rolling his eyes. “Fine…” He snapped his talons and the six ponies horns returned, much to all of their relief. “Now, let’s finish this already. We have a kingdom to run, remember?”
“Yes, but first I have one final degree. From this moment, I hereby terminate the Arcana Council and its involvement with the government; I have realized that, although a noble order at first, it has become corrupt over the years and is now nothing more than a racist group of power hungry unicorns.”
And that was it; Magus looked down at the ground in defeat. The last scrap of who he was evaporated into thin air. He was no longer the leader of the Arcana Council, just a regular unicorn like most of Canterlot’s inhabitants. What would he do after the sure to be grueling six hundred years? Get a petty job and just scrape by in life? The thought made him sick; he had been destined for a life of power and fame, not one of mediocrity.
He heard a loud snap fill the air and in looked up in surprise, half expecting to find himself now made of stone. Instead he found himself still of flesh and bone, though the same couldn’t be said about his former council members. Each of their previously blue coat’s had been changed to a dull grey, along with the rest of the bodies. They all stood together motionless; a spot in front of them empty, almost as if waiting for him.
“I just thought you’d like to see your friends get punished first. You know, right before you meet the same fate.” Discord grinned at the now lone unicorn.
I can’t go out like this; I’d rather die than have to face this horrible future! In a final act of defiance and rage, Magus used the last of his energy to shoot off a spell. It flew past Discord, and hit Celestia directly in the side. She crumpled to the ground, though Magus soon did the same as he was hit simultaneously by spells from Luna and Princess Cadence.
“Celestia!” Discord immediately yelled before rushing over to her, laying a hand on her side that seemed to burn from an intense fire.
“D…Discord…” She mumbled between clenched teeth. The Darconequus snapped his talons, and the pain quickly dispersed. Celestia began taking slow, relaxing breaths as he gently stroked her mane.
After a minute Discord turned towards the broken unicorn lying in the dirt, his burning gaze being by far the most frightening he had seen thus far. “You just don’t know when to give up…”
“I say we execute him, he obviously isn’t ever going to learn anything…” Luna stated, her horn still pointed at him.
“We should execute him. It’s the only thing he deserves. But…” Discord voice trailed off as he turned from him back to his wife. “That’s too easy, isn’t it? It’d be too quick; I think instead a thousand years in stone would be far more painful...”
Magus was in too much pain to reply; his already incredibly fragile body had nearly been snapped in two from the force of the two alicorn’s spells.
“Goodbye Magus, enjoy the next thousand years…” Discord snapped his talons and the tyrant disappeared, reappearing an instant later in front of the other stone unicorns. Painted across his face was a look of fear; completely devoid of any of his previous anger or confidence.
“Princess, are you alright?” Twilight asked after a long moment of silence. They all looked over to see the lavender mare standing above Celestia.
“Yes Twilight, thank you…” She stated in reply, and after a few deep breaths she raised herself off the ground. “Well, Discord, Luna. Now that this whole ordeal is settled with, we best get cleaning up their mess.”
“Oh, right!” Discord exclaimed, suddenly remembering something. “The guards, I completely forgot! They’re still all spoons!”
“I was wondering why there were spoons all over the throne room…” Luna remarked quietly.
“Shining Armor’s a spoon?! Get back to the throne room and change him back this instant!” Princess Cadence exclaimed, her expression full of worry.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m going…” Discord mumbled as he snapped his talons again.
“Cadence darling, what happened? The last thing I can remember is a bright light…” Shining Armor mumbled as he had one hoof around his wife and the other rubbing his temple.
“You were brainwashed by the Arcana Council; you locked me in a jail cell!”
“I did? Man, why is it that I keep getting brainwashed…”
“Sister, you’d better go check the barracks and make sure all the guards are all right. The hypnotization spell should have broken, but we’d best make sure.” Celestia said. Luna nodded in response before leaving the throne room. “And Twilight, where are all of your friends?”
The question immediately set off a light in her head, and she jumped up in surprise. “I forgot, they still don’t know that I found Discord! I have to go tell them everything! Thanks, Princess!” She quickly said before teleporting out of the room.
“Well, it shouldn’t take too long to fix everything they did.” Celestia stated as she turned over to her husband.
Discord glanced from the window over to his wife. “That’s great, then we’ll have more time to focus on the baby! Speaking of which, what are we naming her?”
Celestia could hardly believe the words came from his mouth; this was the first time since she had told him the news that he showed some genuine interest in the foal. “Well, I did come up with a few names, but really I just wanted to wait until you got better. It should be a decision we both agree on.”
“Well, we still have a few months; we have plenty of time to decide. I’d much rather catch up on all the time we lost...” Discord smiled before embracing her hoof in his paw. Celestia smiled back, and the two leaned in to kiss.
“PRINCESS CELESTIA!” A loud voice boomed through the throne room as the doors opened, and a brown earth pony with a large, bushy mustache entered the room. “Have you heard what they're saying in the city, how the whole royal family is dead and that the Arcana Council has taken over?! What is this rubbish?! Just a scheme so you can take a nice long vacation?!”
“Senator Green…” Celestia mumbled as she turned away from Discord, giving the stallion an annoyed looked. “How wonderful to see you…”
“There’s nothing wonderful about it!” He screamed in his usual angry voice. “We are supposed to be a responsible government, but you’re here spreading lies so you can sit around and be lazy!”
Celestia rolled her eyes; indeed, things were back to normal.
“I was very proud of you today.” Celestia said with a smile as she looked over the Royal Gardens, the cold air biting at her coat.
“For what, saving you?” Discord asked as he exited their bedroom and stepped out onto the balcony with his wife.
“No.” She said in reply as she stared up at the beautiful night sky. Though she was the Princess of the Sun, she had always found more beauty in her sister’s night.
“Accepting that I’m a father?”
“I’m very proud of you for that yes, but that wasn’t what I was talking about.”
“What, then?” He questioned as he laid an arm across her shoulder and stared into her eyes.
Celestia paused for a moment, glanced down from the dark night to look into her husband’s different sized pupils. “Magus, you didn’t kill him… I thought for sure you would after he attacked me…”
“I almost did. For a few second there, I was ready to tear him limb from limb. But then I remembered you, and as Twilight had told me earlier, it wouldn’t have been what you wanted. He can sit in stone for a thousand years and think about what he’s done. I did.”
“I love you, Discord; more than anything in the world… You may be flawed, and you may make mistakes, but you’re perfect to me.”
“You’ve always been perfect to me… I love you too, Celestia…” Discord muttered before they leaned in and finished the kiss that had earlier been interrupted.
There had only ever been two other moments like this in either of the immortal’s lives. Ones of perfect bliss where earthly troubles seemed to drift off and vanish, when all either of them felt was happiness and the deep feelings they held for each other.
The first had been after Discord had been released; when both of them in the flesh announced their emotions, forgave the other, and finally declared their love. The second had been their wedding, when during a thunderous applause, they kissed, only aware of each other, and not the screaming crowd in front of them.
Discord stared into Celestia’s magenta eyes, lost in deep thought and passion as they embraced. Above them still sat the dark night, dotted with millions of shining lights amidst it’s sea of black.
This truly is the married life…
“Let’s just see what the problem may be…” The doctor said, soon smiling after realizing his unintentional rhyme. He brought his stethoscope to Celestia’s stomach, and the alicorn shivered upon feeling the cool metal against her coat. “Well…” He mumbled after a moment of silence. “The foal seems fine.”
“I’ve been having pains in my sides for weeks. I just assumed they were cramps…” Celestia muttered before looking over at her husband, who was leaning against the wall reading some magazine on modern medicine.
“Well, they could be, but I think there’s something else going on…” The doctor shifted his glasses before examining her body, his eyes soon resting on a particular spot on her stomach. “There appears to be some wound here; by the looks of it, a burn.”
“That’s where I was hit by Magus’s spell last month!” Celestia exclaimed, having almost forgot the entire incident. The two weeks after the whole event had been very frantic, as she had to put the rumors to rest and fix whatever the Arcana Council had done. However, after that, life seemed to slow back down to its regular, brisk pace.
“A spell, you say?” He asked with some genuine interest. “It looks like there was severe burning here, and some of the tissue is definitely seared… Though, there’s absolutely no damage to your coat or your outer layer of skin. It’s quite remarkably really. I’ve never seen anything quite like it…”
“That spell…” Discord mumbled after throwing his magazine aside. “Was created by an evil maniac who tried to murder us. There’s nothing ‘remarkable’ about it.”
“Well, I certainly think it is. In all my years of medicine, I’ve never seen such damage from a spell. To be honest, the tissue may never even heal.”
“But did it affect the foal?” Celestia quickly snapped, obviously more concerned about her child than her physical body.
The doctor paused a moment to write something down on his clipboard. “As I said, the foal seems fine. However, I should run some more thorough tests to make sure. There’s no telling what this spell could have done.”
Yet another look of worry crossed Celestia’s face; the fifth one Discord had seen since they entered the small examining room. He shot her a smirk, and she responded back with a light smile.
“Well, these tests might take awhile. Are you sure you want to stay around, Prince Discord?”
“Of course! I’m not leaving my wife, no matter how boring this waiting may be…”
“Discord, you don’t have to stay. They’re just a few tests, so I’ll be fine.”
Discord paused a moment before grinning at her. “I’d rather spend time with you, even if I am just waiting, than prank Luna. I’m not leaving you anytime soon…”
Celestia couldn’t help but smile back at him; his support was relieving some of her pent up stress and worry.
“Yes well, now that all that heartwarming sappiness is out of the way, let’s begin!” The doctor turned around and began fumbling through some cupboards.
Discord leaned back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, getting ready for what would no doubt be a long wait. Though, flooding Luna’s bedroom with a swarm of scarabs would be pretty entertaining…
“Man, I still can’t believe I missed out on all of that excitement!” Spike complained loudly as he grabbed a pile of books that needed to be sorted.
“Well, I didn’t want to wake you up. Besides, it was far too dangerous at the castle for you to go!” Twilight replied as she grabbed said books with her magic and began placing them on their proper shelves.
“Hey, I can handle myself! I’m just as strong as you or any other pony!” Spike smirked as he raised his fists and began punching the air.
Twilight merely rolled her eyes before returning to her work. After a few minutes, she finished and turned back to her assistant. “So Spike, what should we do now? We have to restock our quill supply, and we still have to arrange the parchment from lightest to darkest.”
Spike sighed; those certainly weren't on top of his list of things to do. “How about we go visit Pinkie, or even better Rarity?”
“Well, I guess we could do those later tonight, but we’re not going out for long!” Twilight declared as she walked over to the door, her assistant chasing after her with enthusiasm.
“Alright, Rarity here I come!” Spike yelled before running past her, leaving the lavender unicorn to merely sigh and give chase.
“Are you sure? I don’t know about all the clashing colors…” A blue coated mare said as she frowned at the disappointing dress.
“Oh, I’m absolutely certain! It matches perfectly with your eyes, just try it on and you’ll see!” Rarity exclaimed as she shot the stubborn customer a smile. The mare soon agreed and went about putting the elegant garb on.
Rarity turned away, however, when a very excited baby dragon burst through the doors of the store. An exhausted looking purple mare soon entered after, stopping a moment to catch her breath.
“Rarity…” Spike mumbled in bliss as he stared at the white unicorn that, to him, resembled some sort of divine being.
“Spike and Twilight! What a pleasure! You’ll just have to wait a moment, I still have a customer.” Rarity smiled at the two of them before returning her attention to the mare.
“Remember Spike, we’re not staying for long.” Twilight reminded him as he continued to stare at Rarity.
“Yeah, because what we have to do at the library is just SO important…” Spike said with heavy sarcasm.
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but the mare that Rarity was talking to kept her from giving the baby dragon a severe lecture. I’ll save it for when we get back… Twilight told herself as she glared at her assistant.
The mare finally decided to buy the dress, and after a few minutes, she left the store waving. “Come again!” Rarity shouted as she returned her wave, then turned over to her two new guests. “So, for what do I owe this visit?”
“Oh, Spike just wanted to come see you, that’s all.”
“I could stare at you all day, Rarity…” Spike muttered in delight.
“Well, thank you! You’re such a sweet little dragon.” Rarity smiled at him, finding his flirting cute rather than seductive.
The brief silence was interrupted by a loud pop, and the one and only Draconequus levitated to the floor. Discord grinned before leaning back in the air to stroke his beard. “Twilight, I was disappointed when I found the library empty. Usually you’re cleaning it up at this time of day.”
“Well, we usually are, but Spike wanted to go out. Why, what’s so important? Is the Princess mad at you again? You did something to Luna, didn't you?”
“You always accuse me of such things, Twilight. What gives you the idea I would do any of that? I just came to see my favorite purple unicorn. I’ve had such a horrible day waiting in doctor’s offices…” Discord sighed and rolled his eyes, his patience having been completely exhausted.
“Is the Princess alright?!” Twilight immediately questioned out of her intense worry for her teacher. “In her last letter, she said she hasn’t been feeling very well!”
“She’s fine; the doctor just wants to run some more tests tomorrow to make sure. You wouldn’t believe how boring that unicorn is! I never would have thought a pony could have such a monotone voice…” Discord complained, a scowl crossing his face as he realized he would have to listen to said unicorn prattle on again.
“Well, I hope you’re supporting her. Just because you’ve accepted you’re a father doesn’t mean she’s not stressed!” Twilight lectured at him in a motherly like tone.
Discord shook his head at her and sighed. “Once again you insult me, dear Twilight. I love my wife more than anything in the world.” As he said this, he snapped his talons, causing all of the mannequins in the room to suddenly come to life.
“Discord, put this back to normal! I can’t have all of my dresses running around the room!” Rarity shouted in distress as she watched them gallop all over the store, knocking over fabrics and gems as they went.
Twilight glared at him, and after a moment, he rolled his eyes. “Fine…” He mumbled under his breath before returning the mannequins to their previously inert states. “It’s just that I need to do something after all that boring waiting!”
“Well do something outside of my store! I don’t need you ruining everything.” Rarity stated sternly as she used her magic to clean up everything that had been knocked over.
“Fine, we’ll just leave then. Isn’t that right, Twilight?” Discord looked at the lavender mare with an innocent look.
“Hey, but we just got here!” Spike complained upon realizing they might leave.
“We should leave Rarity to her work, Spike. We have our own work to do, remember?” Twilight said. Even Discord was surprised that she was actually supporting him. Spike just sighed before following them out of the door.
“So, what to do first? I was thinking of visiting Luna, but that can always wait until later…” Discord chuckled as he recalled his earlier scarab idea; he couldn’t wait to see the look on her face.
“Well Spike did want to go to Sug- Discord!” Twilight suddenly exclaimed as she watched him turn the entire street into one big canal. A wooden gondola had appeared out of nowhere, and Discord quickly jumped onto the boat.
“We’ll go to Sugarcube Corner, but we’re going in style.” Discord grinned as he made a long oar appear and dipped it into the water.
Twilight just stared at him for a few moments as he sat in the back of the boat. “What about all the citizens of Ponyville? They can’t get around when the streets are all canals!”
“They’ll manage, I’m sure.” Discord just waved his claw at her. “Now get in, I’m the only immortal one here, remember?”
Twilight just sighed before hopping from the doorstep into the boat, Spike soon following. Discord began singing some song in Italian as he rowed the boat down the canal, though she hardly listened to him. He better fix all of this soon, I don’t think everypony is going to appreciate this as much as him… She thought silently as she gazed down at the clear water, her reflection distorted from the waves that the boat created.
“Can you believe it, Twilight?” Discord asked with a smile as he continued to row. “Only one month now… To think that I used to dread that day…”
“Well, I’m glad that you’ve finally really come around to it. You sure caused the Princess a lot of stress…”
“Ah, but things are all fine now, and Celestia loves me…” Discord stopped his rowing for a moment to stare up at the bright sky. “I suppose that’s all that really matters.”
The comment made Twilight smile. Sometimes she forgot how caring the Draconequus could be. Well, at least most of the time…
Twilight soon spotted Sugarcube Corner, and they came to a gentle stop at the doorstep. The door was immediately thrown open, and a pink pony looked outside with a wide grin.
“Discord! How come you never turned the streets into water before? It’s such a great idea!” Pinkie Pie yelled gleefully as she leaped from her doorstop and landed in the water with a mighty splash. She began giggling uncontrollably as she swam through the canal.
“I don’t know, it sort of just came to me.” Discord shrugged as he got out of the boat and began levitating in the air. “Where’s Rainbow Dash? I sure would love to pull some good pranks!” He grinned mischievously and cracked his extremities.
“Well…” Pinkie Pie said as she looked towards the distant clock tower. “Dashie’s probably still having her afternoon nap. But I guess we could wake her up!”
“Perfect! Well, Twilight, I’m guessing you’re going to be your usual prudent self and not join us in our chaotic fun, so I suppose this is goodbye.” Discord said as he turned towards the lavender unicorn.
Twilight rolled her eyes. It seemed that he was always going to be causing some sort of trouble. “Well goodbye, but please don’t do anything too destructive…”
“Bah, they’re just a few friendly pranks, that’s all.” Discord waved a claw at her and laughed. “Alright Pinkie, let’s go!” He snapped his talons and he and the swimming pink pony disappeared, leaving just Twilight and Spike on the boat.
“Uh, how exactly are we supposed to get back now?” Spike questioned as he glanced around at all the water that surrounded them. The library was a few blocks away, and they had no way to propel the boat.
“DISCORD!”
“And then he kept going on about some boring cloud formations they’ve been noticing… Honestly, I can hardly stand listening to those pegasi…” Luna continued to complain as she followed her sister down the hall.
“They’re not half as bad as the earth ponies. At least you don’t have to listen to crop statistics…” Celestia sighed as they made their way to yet another meeting. She would have at least hoped that she could have a break from her royal duties, seeing how she was so close to her big day. The last month had passed almost unbelievably fast, and she was most likely only days from having her daughter.
“Well, I’m sure this next meeting isn’t going to be very interesting… I think I’ve heard enough about Equestria’s rainfall for one eternity…”
However, as Celestia was about to push open the door, she felt a very peculiar feeling. Immediately after, she felt a very intense pain in her side, and fell to the floor groaning. “Luna, I think my water might have just broken…”
“Wh-what?!” Luna instantly exclaimed. “B-but I don’t know what to do!” She quickly began looking around the deserted hall, trying desperately to find somepony that could help.
Celestia felt a strange, foreign liquid run down her leg before the pain suddenly returned. “T-teleport us to the hospital, quickly!” She yelled through clenched teeth.
Suddenly realizing that she could actually do something, Luna teleported the both of them to a much less lavish room, full of ponies in white running back and forth. A nurse noticed them and hastily hurried over.
“Al-alright, now get go Discord…” Celestia quickly ordered her sister.
“But I don’t know where he is! He could be any-”
“FIND HIM!” Celestia yelled, causing everypony in the room to stare at them. Luna just shook her head before teleporting away.
“And so I said to him, that’s really a grand piano!” Discord broke out into an uncontrollably laughter as he swung around in the air.
“Uh, yes… Very funny, Prince Discord…” The guard mumbled as he gave him a very weak fake laugh. He just eyed him as he continued to laugh, only calming down after a few minutes had passed.
“Oh,” Discord sighed as he wiped a tear from his eye, “that one crack’s me up every time…”
The two of them flinched when a bright light filled the hall and they found a distressed looking alicorn standing in front of them. “Discord! Thank Celestia I’ve found you, I’ve been looking everywhere! Good thing one of the servants saw you…”
“Luna? What’s got you so worried? I haven’t pulled any pranks on you recently, or at least none that I can recall…” Discord mumbled as he laid a talon under his chin in deep thought.
“No, your wife is going into labor! She’s at the hospital right now!”
“What?! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” Discord exclaimed as he snapped his talons and teleported himself and Luna from the castle.
The lone guard merely let out a sigh of relief and stared at the floor. “Thank Celestia he’s finally gone. I didn’t think I could take anymore of his lame jokes…”
“Ah! Princess Celestia! I only just saw you earlier this week, are you having any problems?” The doctor asked as he stared at the pained looking alicorn. She was laid out on an oversized bed, her eyes shut and teeth clenched as the intense pain continued to surge through her body.
“I’M IN LABOR IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED!!!” Celestia screamed at the top of her lungs, causing the doctor to quickly cover his damaged ear drums.
“Oh, uh… it seems you are…” He mumbled as he continued to gaze at her, watching the nurses set up all sorts of equipment around her. “Well, I suppose I should do something…”
“DO YOU THINK?!”
“Please Princess, not so loud… I’m sure there are patients that are trying to sleep…” The doctor stated as he paced over to her and straightened his glasses. “You must excuse me, Princess, but I’ve never delivered an alicorn foal before, nor a draconequus. I’m not exactly sure how it differs from a regular pony…”
Celestia wanted nothing more than to yell furiously at him, but she was far too preoccupied with her current pain.
“Um, perhaps we should begin with some morphine…” He commented as he turned towards a nurse.
“Where is my wife?! I’m a Prince! I command you to tell me right now!” Discord yelled as he held the secretary mare up in the air with his magic.
“Discord, put her down!” Luna commanded as she glared at him, also slightly blushing at the amount of attention that they were drawing.
Discord sighed before dropping the mare, who merely beamed at him with a very cross look. “Fine, now that you’re back on the ground… Which room is my wife in?”
The violet coated mare shook her head before looking down at her desk. “Floor 3, room 12, now please hurry up and leave!”
Discord snapped his talons, and once again the two of them appeared in another room. They were now in a much smaller room, and it was already filled with several ponies. He immediately caught sight of his wife and hurried over to her.
“Celestia, are you alright?!”
She gritted her teeth before turning over to look at him. “Finally you show up… Now please can you get a competent doctor?!”
“What do y-”
Discord was cut off as the door opened and the doctor strolled in. “I hope that the morphine is beginning to kick in, if not we’ll have to increase the dosage. Ah, Prince Discord, Princess Luna! How good to see you both!” He said as he caught sight of the two of them.
“Tell me, how is my wife doing?!”
“Oh she’s doing just fine. I think she is being a little overly dramatic however…” He mumbled, as he lowered his voice to a whisper.
“OVERLY DRAMATIC?!”
“Yes well, I think I should check how the foal is coming along.”
“I’ll go get Twilight Sparkle; this is definitely something I don’t need to see…” Luna muttered as she teleported out of the hospital room.
Minutes later Luna was standing in the waiting room with Twilight and Pinkie Pie. The energetic pink pony immediately began looking around the room for something to do, while the lavender unicorn headed towards the doors.
“I’ll go check on the Princess; I hope she’s doing alright…” Twilight said in concern as she left the room, leaving Luna to just watch her friend.
“This is so exciting, eh Princess?” Pinkie Pie asked as she grinned at her.
“Yes, though I’m sure we’re in for a long wait… Most likely hours…” Luna sighed as she settled in for the soon-to-be boring wait.
“Oh… well there’s plenty of stuff we can do in the meantime! Oh, oh! Like count the tiles on the ceiling!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed with wonder, as she began to count what must have been the hundreds of tiles that lined the ceiling. “One, two, three…”
Sometime later Twilight re-entered the room, giving a Pinkie an old glance as she did.
“Three-hundred and seventy-four, three-hundred and seventy-five…”
“Um, what are you doing, Pinkie?”
“Three hundred and, oh I’m just counting the- darn it! I lost count!” She pouted in frustration. “Oh well! One, two…”
Twilight merely ignored her and paced over to Luna. “The Princess seems to be doing alright; I think they may have sedated her just a little too much though…”
“Surly it can’t be as bad as last time; I’ve never been through anything crazier than that night…” Luna sighed as she glared at the counting pink pony. After a while it had gotten very annoying, and now she was wishing desperately that she would just count silently in her head.
“Well the doctor says she’s entering labor now, he doesn’t have a clue how long it might take.”
“Well I suppose all we can do is wait…”
A while later, after Pinkie had finally counted all of the tiles, Discord entered the room. He let out a sigh and collapsed into one of the rather comfortable looking chairs. “Well, Celestia’s finally stopped screaming… I don’t know when my hearing is going to come back though.”
“Oh, I hope she’s doing alright… Maybe I should check on her…” Twilight mumbled in worry, as she stared at the door.
“I wouldn’t bother; everything is going fine so far. The foal has crowned, but it might be a while before this is all finished.”
Twilight soon looked from the door and over to the Draconequus. “So… how are you feeling?!”
“Huh? Me?” Discord asked, his voice full of surprise. “Well, I’m excited I guess! I’m finally becoming a real father! I’ll have a daughter to love and take care of! I’m sure Celestia would be feeling the exact same, were she not drugged right now…”
Twilight smiled at him. “Well I’m very happy for the both of you!”
“Thanks, I just hope everything goes alright…”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go see? Your sister is finally having her foal!” Twilight exclaimed, as she looked at the still sitting Princess. Discord had already gone to see his wife, just leaving her, Twilight and Pinkie Pie in the waiting room.
“I am quite alright with not witnessing the miracle of birth, especially when it is my own sister…”Luna sighed as she went back to dully staring at the bare walls.
Twilight just shrugged her shoulders and left the room. The two of them waited in the room for some time after, before finally a nurse pushed open the door.
“Princess Luna, your sister has just given birth to a perfectly healthy foal!” The nurse exclaimed as she hurried over to the dark coated alicorn.
“That’s wonderful! I suppose I should see how she’s doing now.” Luna finally left the waiting room, with Pinkie Pie in tow. Before too long, they entered the Princess’s room.
Celestia was still laid out across the bed, and in her hooves was a sight that made even Luna stare in awe. All ideas of the foal being some frightening hybrid of their two species vanished from her mind. The foal retained Discord’s long torso, though she was much smaller. Her long mane flowed various colors just as her mother’s did, still practically sparkling in the light, and each of her limbs were that of another animal, though her wings resembled that of an alicorn’s. Her pupils were gorgeous shades of red that sat in seas of yellow. Finally, atop her head was a barely noticeable horn, along with a deer antler and a goat horn.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Celestia asked as she looked up from newborn foal to view her sister’s expression.
“Yes…” Luna muttered weakly, still overcome with surprise. She was so peaceful and innocent looking lying in Celestia’s hooves, nothing at all like her father.
“So! Have you two decided on a name?” The doctor asked he continued to stand at the edge of the room. “I do have a few recommendations myself…”
“No! We have a name…” Celestia quickly shouted before turning to her husband. “Don’t we?”
“Yes…” Discord mumbled, finding that he still couldn’t take his eyes off his gorgeous daughter. She reminded him so much of her mother, even if most of her body resembled his. Perhaps it was just her mane and perfectly crafted face. “Pandora… just like we decided.”
“I think that’s a great name Princess!” Twilight beamed.
“Pandora…” Celestia muttered under her breath as she stared at her foal in her hooves. She was warm and comforting, and clung tightly to her fur. I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like this… Everything is just so perfect now… Discord’s a real father now, and I have Pandora… No, we have her…
Celestia took her eyes off her daughter and looked towards her husband. Upon realizing that she was staring at him, he smiled and quickly kissed her.
Luna rolled her eyes and sighed. “You two sure now how to ruin a perfectly, heartwarming moment…”
Celestia just laughed before lying back in her bed, Discord quickly grabbed Pandora to gently cradle her in his arms.
The doctor just frowned at the two of them. “Well, I suppose that name is alright… Though are you sure you don’t want to hear my suggestions?”
“No, that won’t be needed…” Celestia sighed as she stared up at the ceiling, filled with such eternal bliss that not even the darkest clouds could have broken her spirit.
“You know…” Discord said as he looked up from Pandora to gaze at his wife. “I don’t know who I love more… You, or her…”
“Neither do I…”
She’s more beautiful than I could have imagined… To think I thought she would have been a problem, a burden… She’s so much more than that… After everything Celly and I have been through, this is finally the light at the end of the tunnel. Our family… my family…
Discord awoke, at least to whatever he could call consciousness. His limbs were frozen, locked in placed by some seemingly invisible force. The cold wind that should have been assaulting his skin was gone, his body unable to feel it. His gaze was kept forward, to the dreary and depressing garden that he stared at for so long.
No… This isn’t right, I should be… A terrible, gut wrenching feeling struck him. Had that all been a dream? D-did Celestia never visit me? Our marriage, her pregnancy, Pandora?! None of that ever happened?!
Normally he would have dismissed such thoughts with little regard, but he simply couldn’t deny it as he realized fully he was truly imprisoned in stone. Old, depressive thoughts came back to his mind upon seeing how bleak his future was. How bleak it had been before.
Perhaps hate was the only thing that had kept him partially sane throughout the thousand years. His burning anger and desire for revenge kept him from thinking about the intense loneliness and solitude. I couldn’t possibly hate her now, not after everything we’ve been through.
Though, I guess that was all just a dream…
The gardens seemed just as grey as ever. They were deserted, just as they had always been at night. Nopony seemed to want to spend their time in the dull accumulation of nature. The same old magic-lit lantern’s cast their blue flames onto the weathered stone paths. The other various stone statues stood still around the garden.
There’s no way that could have been a dream… It was all too real… Pandora… Twilight… Luna… Pinkie Pie…
Celestia…
It wasn’t the fact that he was back in stone that hurt him the most, it was that this meant Celestia didn’t love him. She had never forgiven him, had never visited him to apologize. The Elements had never seen the good in him, and had never freed him from the accursed stone. He was alone.
What he was to do now he simply had no idea. I guess I’ll just sit here, like I did for all those years… All alone…
He would have screamed if he could, but all he could do was think. Think about the life that he could have had, the life he yearned for more than anything else in the world…
Why… why me… Of all the ponies fortune could torment, why me… This isn’t fair!
But, I suppose yelling about it won’t do anything… It’s just me, alone. For the rest of eternity…
Discord awoke with a start, throwing the warm, comforting blanket off of himself. Immediately he looked at his surrounding, soon coming upon a realization. It was all a dream…
He looked over and saw the sleeping form of Celestia nestled under the covers. They rose and fell with each of her heavy breaths. Her silken face was lying towards him, and he couldn’t help but stare as he had done all those years ago. Her usually radiant and flowing mane was messy and strewn about, but he didn’t care.
After a few moments, Discord rose from the bed and wandered towards the balcony. Glancing over, he saw the elegant crib, his beautiful daughter Pandora happily sleeping away. Her gorgeous mane covered most of her face, though he could just see her closed eyes behind the strands of color. He smiled at her, and after a few more moments of staring, he stepped outside.
He sighed and slouched down against the banister, looking out into the night with weary eyes.
“Are you alright?” Discord immediately spun around and found his wife staring at him.
“Celestia I… I just had a bad dream, that’s all…” He stated after a moment, still surprised that she had woken up.
Celestia got up from the bed and paced over to him, soon placing a hoof onto his talon. They stared at each other for quite a while before she finally spoke up. “Just a bad dream?”
“Well… I guess… more of a nightmare…” Discord sighed before looking away from her to view the gardens. “I… I thought I was back in stone, I thought you still hated me…”
“Well I don’t hate you. I love you more than ever.” She nuzzled her head against his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but smile back.
“There’s something I don’t get.” Discord said after a long silence. “Why is it that you apologized to me? How is it that you possibly could have loved me when I hated you so much?”
“Love is caring about a person no matter what. I still loved you, even if you hated me. And well, I felt I had to tell you that, even if I didn’t know that you could hear me.”
“I was, well thinking... after being reminded how horrible it was being in stone, all alone… Nopony deserves that... Maybe we should lessen the term for the Arcana Council, maybe only make it a couple hundred years….”
Celestia smiled at him, bigger than he had ever seen before. “I agree completely, if they misbehave we can always put them back. A probation if you will.” She continued to gaze at him, still grinning. “Do you know what this means?”
“What?” Discord asked, slightly intrigued.
“Your conscience… that’s what’s speaking to you, that’s why you had that dream… You’re a good person now Discord, your nothing like your past self…”
“You think?”
“I know… I love you so much…”
The words both comforted and hurt him. “I don’t deserve you… I’m the ugliest creature in Equestria and you’re well…” He stared at her elegant form just visible in the moonlight. “The exact opposite…”
“You’re not ugly, and honestly I don’t care how you look. Love runs so much deeper than just mere appearances. It doesn’t matter what you look like, I’m happy as long as you’re with me.” Celestia said softly as she stared up at his face.
“You know…” Discord mumbled as he leaned down to kiss her. “You really make this immortal life worth living.”
“So do you...” Celestia replied before meeting his lips with hers. After a while they broke apart and merely just stared at one another.
At this point the moon was already high in the sky, and its beautiful silver light was illuminating the whole garden. “This world is a harsh place to live in alone… I don’t even know how I survived before I met you…”
“I sometimes wonder how we even survived together, after everything we’ve been through… But now…” Celestia turned around towards the crib. Her mouth twisted into a smile, and almost reached the point of tears. “I think things are going to be a lot better, now that we’re parents.”
“Yeah, it sure seems like we could really use a break…”
“It was worth it though, don’t you think? We have all of eternity now together… You’re the only one besides my sister that doesn’t go away… Like everypony else did… Like everypony else eventually will…” She couldn’t help but start crying, and he quickly embraced her against his chest.
I never really thought about it before… Discord wondered as he stared down at her crying form. The thousand years I was in stone, her whole life… She’s been around mortals, creating relationships with ponies that’ll eventually die… Even Twilight will one day leave her… I… I never really was close to a mortal, only her…
“It’s alright Celly, remember that no matter what we go through, we do it together. I’ll never leave you again, I promise…” Though he couldn’t see it, he was sure that she was smiling. After a few moments she looked up at him, revealing that he was indeed correct. “So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee…”
She gazed at him for some time before speaking. “You sure know how to be romantic sometimes… Now come on, let’s get back to bed. We need all the sleep we can get incase Pandora wakes up.”
Discord returned her grin and led her back to the luxurious bed. Before getting in himself, he took another glance at the crib. Pandora was still sleeping, and while staring at her, he was overcome with a feeling of awe. I can hardly believe that someone as ugly as I helped create her… She’s just as beautiful as Celestia… After a few moments he followed his wife into bed, all the while thinking of his daughter.
I wonder what her personality is going to be like. Is she going to take after me? Is she going to be strict like Celly? I sure hope she appreciates some good chaos…
Discord turned over to see the face of his wife gazing back at him. Her large magenta eyes mesmerized him, just as they had done when he used to stare at her from hiding. Over the thousand years she had not grown any different in appearance; she was still just as stunning and sublime. “Goodnight Celestia…”
“Goodnight, Discord...” She mumbled to him quietly before soon drifting off to sleep, feeling happier then she had ever felt before. She was a mother, and a wife, everything that she had used to dream about. Now she finally had somepony to share her immortal life with, she had Discord.
The End.
And they all lived happily and peacefully ever after. Well, as peaceful as things could get with Discord around…
Author's Note
I thank you sincerely if you've read this far. It means so much to me know that people take time out of their days to read my work. I put a lot of work into this series, and I'm both happy and sad to see it go. I just hope some of you read my future work. I can't promise that it'll be as good as this, but I'll try my best.
Pregnant?!
AN: I suggest reading Love and Hatred and An Unlikely Couple before reading this. It isn't needed, but I would highly recommend it.
“Hmmm…” A pony in a pristine white lab coat straightened his thick glasses as he tried to read the chart in front of him. “Well, I think I know the solution to your little problem, dear Princess!”
“Well, what is it, doctor?” Celestia turned away from a rather boring medical poster that insisted on good flossing. The office they were in was rather cramped and sparsely decorated, and aside from the poster, there were only a few medical tools along a lonely table. There was but a single window, offering a rather boring view of the always busy city. Needless to say, Celestia could think of a at least a dozen other places she’d rather be at…
“You see…” The doctor threw the chart onto the table before turning to her with a grin. “The reason for your nausea, vomiting and fatigue is because… you’re pregnant!”
The Princess’s jaw dropped and she looked at him with a horrified look. “P-p-pregnant? A-are you sure?!”
“Yes! At least three months, from what I can tell. I congratulate you! You must be so happy right now!”
“B-but I thought I was just putting on a little bit of weight!” Celestia stated, gently shaking her large belly.
“Nope, I’m absolutely sure you’re pregnant! The blood tests clearly show evidence, and your symptoms all point towards it!”
Celestia let out a groan as she rubbed her head with one hoof. Pregnant! I can hardly believe it! Now that I think about it, it explains an awful lot… But what is Discord going to say? And Luna? I can’t break this news to them!
“So, come back here in… say… a week, and we can do some more tests. I’ll check on how the baby is doing, and I’ll get you some medication.” The doctor turned back to his chart to jot down a few things.
“Medication?”
“Oh, yes, you’ll need it for the migraines.”
“Migraines?”
“Yes. Horrible, mind splitting headaches that will make you want to smash your head off the wall to try and stop the pain!” He said with a smile.
Oh, boy. Sounds like fun… “Um, right… in light of all this, I have a lot to do now. Thank you, doctor, for the news, even if it’s not what I was expecting… Or wanting…”
“No problem! I can’t wait for the day the baby comes, it’ll be so exciting!” The doctor said with a genuine enthusiasm in his voice.
Celestia nodded at him before leaving the cramped office. As she began making her way back to the castle, she tried to formulate a plan on how to break the news. She knew that Discord wasn’t going to take this well…
“…And our harvest is even worst then last year’s! We need more rain!”
“How many bleeding times do I have to tell you?! We don’t have enough weather ponies to get the job done! We can’t get rain to every damn farm that asks for it!”
Discord sighed as he leaned back in his chair. It was yet another boring meeting, with two boring ponies arguing about some boring thing… It was just so… boring!
“Well, maybe if you weather ponies spent more time working instead of sleeping, you’d be able to!”
A large, gruff looking Pegasus snarled as the earth pony across from him rebutted. “Ah, you earth ponies know nothing about work! All you do is spend your time digging in the damn dirt while we Pegasus bust our wings making it rain!”
The brown earth pony let out an exhausted sigh. “Prince Discord, what do you think of the situation?”
“Huh?” Discord snapped out of his daydream and looked at the earth pony with an annoyed expression. He had been having a rather fun fantasy of causing some chaos and mayhem. “Oh, well I think that… uh… what are you two babbling about again?”
The two ponies sighed and rolled their eyes at the Draconequus.
As they returned to their heated debate Discord glanced out the window. The room offered an amazing view of Canterlot, but it did little to increase his mood. He couldn’t stand this Canterlot life; it was far too orderly and organized for his tastes. What he would give for even a day of good old chaos…
But he did have to admit, there were perks to this new life. Aside from all the boring meetings and stuck up ponies, he had Celestia. His wife, who was always there to make him happy. After all those years of basking in loneliness and anger, he had finally found what he had always wanted. The mare that had been on his mind since the day he saw her.
She should be here in about an hour… He said silently to himself, the thought bringing a small smile to his face. I certainly hope these two shut up soon… I can’t stand another minute of their annoying drabble…
Luna flicked her mane out of her face as she waited at the Castle gate impatiently. Her sister always knew how to annoy her, and this instance was no different.
“Celestia, there you are! I’ve been waiting here since noon!” The moon princess yelled upon the sight of her sister’s flowing mane.
Celestia sighed upon the sight of her sister, slightly picking up the pace as she walked. How she wished she could just teleport, but ‘doctors orders’... Before she had been able to leave the clinic, the doctor had caught up with her. He had lectured her about making sure to use as little magic as possible, as it could affect the baby in such early stages. Of course, this only threw another burden onto her already overloaded shoulders. Being pregnant wasn’t easy; she was beginning to learn that first hoof.
“What, Luna?” Celestia snapped, not being in the mood to deal with her sister.
“It’s about Discord…” Luna replied, now following her sister as they entered the castle grounds.
“Oh? What did he do this time…”
“Well, he thought it would be funny to turn all of my guards into moths. They’ve eaten all of my finest clothes and bed sheets! I’ve had enough of that Draconequus!”
Celestia let out an exhausted sigh. “Can’t you two handle this on your own? I’m very busy myself you know! I don’t have the time to keep you two from fighting…”
“But you’re the only one he listens to!” Luna pouted. “He’s pulled at least a dozen pranks on me since you two married, and I can’t take it anymore!”
“Why me?” Celestia mumbled to herself, frowning as she glanced up at the sun. “Fine, I’ll talk to him about it if you stop bothering me...”
Upon hearing her sisters response, Luna grinned. “I knew I could count on you, sister. See you at dinner!” She teleported away, leaving the sun princess alone in the courtyard. She really wasn’t looking forward to walking up the seemingly endless flight of stairs to her bedroom…
The only sound that echoed through the oversized dining hall was the clinking of silverware as they ate. The servants had set up their meal as always and left them to eat in peace. Well, relative peace. There was never peace when Discord was around.
“Ow! Discord, stop flicking peas at me!” Luna said with an annoyed look as she placed her silverware down for the fifth time.
“What? That wasn’t me! Why do you always blame everything on me?” Discord replied with an innocent face as he jabbed his steak with a fork.
“You’re the only one eating peas!” Luna yelled, pointing an accusing hoof at his plate. “See, Celestia? This is what I mean!”
“Hmph?” Celestia said, her mouth completely stuffed with food. For some reason she was starving and had already gone through two plates of food. She supposed this was yet another annoying symptom of pregnancy. Speaking of pregnancy, she had to break the news to these two… And soon…
Discord frowned. “This steak is undercooked. Those chefs are never going to get it right.” He threw his knife and fork to the side, pushing away the slightly raw cut of beef with a dissatisfied look.
Celestia swallowed the chunk of food in her mouth. “Well, ponies don’t normally eat meat! In fact, you made that steak appear in the first place, why didn’t you just cook it yourself?!”
“Do you really expect me to do everything? I am a prince after all…” Discord crossed his arms, trying to give off somewhat of a royal atmosphere. Celestia rolled her eyes at him before viciously digging into the next plate of food that had just been placed in front of her.
There was a long awkward silence between them, the only sounds being that of Celestia filling her face.
“So, Luna… Have you seen your guards lately?” Discord finally broke the silence, stifling back a laugh.
Luna gritted her teeth, “You know, I’m beginning to think you haven’t changed at all…”
“Of course I’ve changed! I don’t make ponies suffer anymore! Only you!” He chuckled, his laugher only serving to anger her further.
“Discord… Annoy me once more and I swear what I did to you after the wedding will look like heaven…” Luna stated, trying her best to restrain her growing anger. The Draconequus could tell that she was on the verge of snapping; maybe this was the time to stop…
What am I thinking?! I can’t pass up a chance like this! Discord spotted a servant with a triple layered chocolate cake making his way over to the table. He grinned mischievously at the chaos he was about to wreak. Just as the pony was passing Luna, the Draconequus snapped his fingers causing him to fall flat on his face. The large cake flew from his back and they all watched, almost as if in slow motion, as it fell directly on Luna, splattering frosting and chocolate all over her.
Discord broke out in a storm of laughter while Celestia looked at her now cake covered sister with wide eyes. She was going to snap, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
“DISCORD!” Luna roared as she jumped across the oversized table. She sent plates and drinks crashing to the floor as she lunged at the spirit of disharmony. He let out an awkward laugh, and just as she was going to assault him with her flailing hooves he snapped his fingers and vanished.
“Sister… Call up the funeral planner; we’re going to need one when I get my hooves on him…”
“You’re done it already? But I just gave you that book last week!” A lavender unicorn said with genuine surprise. The pegasus beside her responded with a smile.
“Well, come on, Twilight! I couldn’t put it down! Honestly, they’re just getting better and better!”
It was perfect weather for a walk, and that was just what Twilight had done. However, she hadn’t expected to run into her friend who desperately wanted to borrow yet another book. Rainbow had already gone through half of the Daring Doo series, and she kept speeding through them faster every time. Before long, there wouldn’t be any left, and the unicorn knew just the series she was going to recommend next.
“Fine, I’ll get you the next book… But maybe you should try and slow down… savor them a bit, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah… Just get me the next one!” Rainbow Dash said impatiently, and Twilight just shook her head playfully. The two started the walk back through Ponyville, heading towards the tree that served as her humble abode.
A loud pop startled both of them, and they relaxed upon the sight of the Draconequus.
“Twilight, Rainbow Dash, how good to see you two girls again!” He smiled, looking at them with his crazy, mismatched eyes. He had now become a common sight in Ponyville, and no longer did ponies run at the sight of him.
“What did you do this time?” Rainbow Dash asked, not surprised in the least that he had suddenly shown up.
“Oh, just annoying Luna as always… I really think I did it this time though; I haven’t seen her that angry since the wedding…”
Twilight rolled her eyes at him. “You know, Discord; you should really stop bothering them so much. Keep annoying them and they’ll throw you out of the castle.”
“Like they would ever do that! Celestia loves me far too much to just throw me to the curb. Luna on the other hand…” Discord followed the two as they continued their walk through Ponyville. He got no odd stares from any of the citizens. In fact, some of them even waved to him. He would visit the town often, as he found it much more amusing then Canterlot.
“So Twilight, what do you have planned for this fine evening?” Discord suddenly asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Oh,” The unicorn said, taken back by the sudden question. “Well, after I lend this book to Rainbow, I was going to reorganize the library again. Why? You don’t tend to really care about other ponies’ personal lives…”
“Well, I can’t exactly go back to the castle anytime soon. I should probably wait a few hours for this to all blow over, as Luna should be calm by then. I think…”
“I’m not letting you organize the library with me, if that’s what you mean…” Twilight responded with a cross look.
“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun! I promise I won’t annoy you, or ruin anything!” Discord pleaded with his best grin.
After looking at the Draconequus for a few seconds she sighed. “Fine… Just promise to not mess anything up…”
Rainbow elbowed her playfully and whispered in her ear. “Your library is going to be a train wreck after he gets finished with it!”
“Well,” Twilight replied with a cruel smile. “Remember, I can always tell Princess Luna where he's hiding...”
Celestia glanced up at the now-dark sky. Her sister had just brought the moon out, and she thought she might take in some of the cool night air. She stood on her balcony gazing at the many stars and the bright, magnificent moon that hung in the sky. Her mind kept continually going over how she was going to break the news to her husband and sister. She already knew what their reactions were going to be, and they would only serve in making this whole thing more painful.
Well… I suppose I should be happy about this. I'm going to be bringing a child into this world and as a mare that’s one of the greatest things I can do. I can’t exactly deny this either, because it’s happening no matter what I want... I simply have to accept it… I’ll tell Discord about it whenever he gets back, though I doubt he’s going to take the news easily…
