The Cantering Isles

by DerpyZebra

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Mayor Mare, Silver Spoon, Adventure, Sex, Big Macintosh, Random, Discord, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 6016

An Elder Scrolls: Shivering Isles pony crossover, because there wasn't one already :)

Derpy Hooves, the industrious mailmare gets a special assignment from the Mayor of Ponyville to investigate a strange door on the edge of the Everfree Forest. As it turns out, the gate leads into the realm of the Lord of Chaos. Random crazyness ensues.

Published 2011-10-06 17:20:21 UTC
Last updated 2011-10-11 15:12:43 UTC

A Door in the Everfree Forest

Author’s notes: Shivering Isles content © Bethesda Softworks Inc. , MLP © Hasbro Inc. No infringement is intended in any way. I used some of the original Shivering Isles dialouge, courtesy of http://www.imperial-library.info

The Cantering Isles
(A Crossover Tale by DerpyZebra)
Part I.
A Door in the Everfree Forest

It all began on one of the „dog days” of summer. The sun was about to set above the dainty little town of Ponyville, the warm afternoon breeze bickering through the streets. It had been a long day for the small settlement’s number one mailmare, Derpy Hooves. She had worked her fingers (or more exactly, wings) down to the bone delivering parcels and letters of various kinds, ranging from such trivial stuff as Bon Bon’s weekly correspondence with her parents to such crucial deliveries as a couple of manticore tails for Twilight Sparkle’s alchemical experiments. To think what would have happened if the Princess’ personal student hadn’t gotten them in time and perfect condition.. Derpy shrugged at the idea of being sent to the moon. Or Plutony, for that matter. But for now she was done, and could take a break at Pony Joe’s, drinking coffee as usual, to drive away tiredom.

She wiped a big drop of sweat from her forehead, and started fidgeting with her mailbag while she took a sip of the dark, sour liquid. Absentmindedly, she looked into the bag, only to find a rugged parchment deep inside. She shook her head and took a closer look. The strange letter had a number of seals on it and in the middle the inscriptions “Urgent” and “Top Secret” were stamped with crimson ink. Apparently it was addressed to the Mayor of Ponyville. Upon reading this, she jerked up from her chair with such intensity that her head almost hit the ceiling. The other ponies in the place didn’t even bother to register her odd behavior, after all, they were quite used to her slight eccentricity and thought she just had another “Derpy moment”. The dutiful mailmare threw a couple of bits on the counter with great haste, then proceeded to fly out the open window.

Once in the air, she quickly oriented herself towards the town hall. Being the largest building in town, it was impossible to miss. She dashed off with such a speed that might even put the Wonderbolts themselves to shame. Closing to the nearest available window, she frantically shouted:
“URGENT!! Open up the window, LUNADAAAAAM..”
Luckily, Mayor Mare was about to let fresh air into the room, thus the frenzied messenger fell in and bounced off the wall with a loud thud.
“..mnit”
“What is it now, Ms. Hooves?”- inquired the elder mare.
The grey pegasus took some moments to recollect herself, then added:
“Urgent message from the Equestrian Bureau of Investigation. It’s for your eyes only, madam.”
“Hmm, let me see.. interesting.” She stood dumbfounded for a second, then skipped through the content of the letter. “I guess it’s no big deal if I let you know what it’s about. The pegasi on weather duty noticed an unusual, glowing gate of the edge of the Everfree Forest. The Bureau believes it to be a portal to another dimension. Judging by the eyewitnesses’ accounts, ponies come and go through it, however those who come out act strangely indeed. Since the plot of land on which it stands formally belongs to our town, it is expected that I send somepony to investigate.” The normally stern elder pony’s expression turned into a smirk.
“Would you be up to the job?”- she asked.
Not knowing how to reply, Derpy fidgeted with her hooves nervously:
“I..um..guess so?”
“Wonderful. You get 2 days to complete this task. Go check the gate out and report back to me. If you succeed to solve this mystery, you’ll be greatly rewarded.” Besides, I can’t afford to send anypony from the Harmony bunch to sort this out, they have been suckered favored enough by the troll princess Her Majesty enough to mind their own business – she added in thought.
“Your best bet is to begin early tomorrow. Remember, you have to take a good look at the gate and consult me before you take any action.”
“Yes, ma’am!” – said Derpy, lacking conviction.
“Now you may take your leave. May the Goddesses grant you good luck on your quest. Farewell!”
“Goodbye.”

With that she flew fast as the wind outside the Mayor’s office, and went home. Her abode was a dainty little house, surprisingly orderly for one who’s rather squint-eyed. She took extra care not to wake her partner, a white pagasus stallion who was fast asleep in their bed. She sipped on some apple cider to calm her still stirred nerves, then shut out the lights and fell asleep. She woke up early in the morning. The first beams of light from Celestia’s sun barely even lit the room. Groggily, she rose up, ate a bowl of cereal and gobbled down a cup of coffee to get her started, then quickly scribbled a note explaining to her lover that she’s on special duty and probably won’t get home until dark. She packed a few apples in her saddlebag, and left for the Everfree.

Upon reaching the edge of the deep, dark forest she instantly saw the mighty gate that has stirred up chaos lately. It was fashioned out of stone, forming three weird faces, the middle one being a horse’s open mouth with menacing teeth, and a blue blur in its throat. Near the gate there were two figures, a middle-aged mare and a white stallion, wearing the armor of the Royal Equestrian Guard. When she got closer, the guard yelled at Derpy:
“Halt! Nopony gets through this gate without permission!”
“Well, I was sent here by the Mayor. To investigate.”
“In that case, I guess I can’t stop you from entering. But be warned: those who go in there either come back mad or they don’t come back at all. There’s no telling what dangers lurk behind that portal. “
In that instant, a crazy pony exited the gate, shouting and screaming incomprehensible things. He stopped near the guard, and in a painful whinny he spoke up:
“No more! Please, I can’t take another moment of this madness. End my life! Now, please!”
“If that’s what you wish.. in the name of Celestia, die!” With that he unsheathed his sword and slit the unlucky fellow’s throat. “Jeez, it hurts me every time I must do that, but we gotta do what we gotta do to protect Equestria.”
Derpy shrugged, but before she could reply, a thunderous voice roared from beyond the gate:
"Unworthy, unworthy, unworthy! Useless mortal meat. Walking bag of dung! A nice effort, though. A shame he's dead. These things happen. Bring me a champion! Rend the flesh of my foes! A mortal champion to wade through the entrails of my enemies! Really, do come in. It's lovely in the Isles right now. Perfect time for a visit."
The blue portal started swirling with maddening speed. Our heroine couldn’t help but felt drawn to it, compelled by some strange force to enter. She reluctantly trotted inside the blue beam, and arrived on the other side. She found herself in a rather strange, small and dark room. Right before her was a great stone desk with a clicking metronome and a single, large candle on it. Sitting behind the desk was a rather large-bodied, well-dressed red earth pony with a bored expression on his face.
“Please, would you sit down” – he said politely.
Derpy sat on the cold stone chair in front of her. After all, it would be rude of her to refuse the seat she was offered.
“What can I do for you? I imagine you’re here about the door?”
“The door? Oh, yeah, we can call it that way, but where I live, doors are made of wood.. is that weird portal a door at all? Did I just enter here? ” – said Derpy, her eyes crossed in perplexion.
„Yes. You have entered and now you are here. Amazing. Truly.” – offered he, stifling a yawn.
“Who are you”?
“I am Mackill, Chamberlain to the Lord Discorath”
“Wow, weird. I say, you’re a complete dead-ringer for my buddy Applejack’s big brother, except for your fancy clothes and your manners. Oh, but look at me, I’m talking horseapples. What is this place anyway?” – asked the mailmare with a derpy face
„You approach the Cantering Isles. Through the door behind me lies the realm of Discorath, Prince of Chaos, Lord of the Never-There.”
„Disco who?”
„Discorath.”
„Why did that door appear in Equestria?”
„Because my Lord wills it to be so. It poses no danger to ponykind; no compact has been violated. It is a doorway, an invitation. Perhaps you will accept it for what it is.” – he said with a stern voice.
„What do you want with me?”
„For you? I do not know. My Lord seeks a mortal pony to act as His Champion. As for His intent... to attempt to fathom it is a foalish endeavor. His will is His own; His reality follows suit. You are here because you chose to enter; you were not summoned.”
„And the ponies outside?”
„They entered this Realm, and were ill prepared. Their minds are now the property of my Lord.”
„Um, I wonder if they can be cured somehow?” – asked Derpy, rolling her eyes.
„Cured? You speak as if they are diseased. They live now in another state of being. Perhaps it is you who needs a cure.”
„Well, I could do with an eye surgery for my astigmatism” – added the grey mare, letting a slight giggle out
„Ha ha, my liver almost popped. Now get on with your questions” – Mackill said, visibly annoyed.
„Oh, sorry. What happens now?”
„You do as you will. You may leave the way you entered. Your life will be none the worse for your time spent here. Or, you may continue onward, through the door behind me. If you can pass the Gates of Madness, perhaps the Lord Discorath will find a use for you.”
„I see. And if I go through the door?”
„Who is to say? There are always choices to be made. The Realm of Madness is no different in that regard. Your choices are your own. Enter or do not, but make your decision. I've other duties to which I must attend. Speak with me again when you have made up your mind. The anticipation is almost too much to bear.”
„So I’d have to speak with this Mr. Disco Rat?”
„Precisely. Now get scarce and don’t come back until you’ve reached your decision”
„Yes sir, Mr. Mackill. See ya then.”
„Goodbye.” – said the blonde-maned mare, walking out of the portal. „Dear Celestia, the Mayor’s not gonna be overjoyed when she hears about this” – she sighed.

Derpy flied as fast as she could to the town hall to inform Mayor Mare of the turn of events. Having consulted every tidbit of the situation, the elder pony spoke up:
„Well Ms. Hooves, I don’t like this a bit, but it seems like we’re gonna have to play together with this Disco Rat guy, otherwise we won’t get rid of that door. I’m sorry to abuse your time, given your job is important, but I feel you should go in there and get to know what this is all about. The town of Ponyville will reward you duly for your services, and if you should succeed, the whole of Equestria will look upon you as a hero.”
„Whoa, that’s nice and all, but a couple of muffins would hit the spot better.”
„Here, take these 100 bits for your services. It will be more than enough for that purpose, I’m sure” – said the burgomeister[1] with a motherly smile. „Now go, take a rest. When you’re ready, let me know”
„Thank you so much, Mrs. Mare!” – chirped the pegasus, and took off towards home.

When she arrived, and entered the house, trotting to the dining room, she was greeted by the sight an all too familiar white stallion with a cumulus cutie-mark on his flank. However, this time she had the slightest feeling in her head that a bunch of foul-smelling apes were spying on her[2]. Normally she would have dismissed this as a byproduct of her derpy mental functions. But this time, she decided to play along and slowly started spinning a web of thought, recalling her memories. His name was Cloudheart[3]. They had first met in Flight School, but hadn’t really noticed each other until the graduation ceremony, where they danced together and fell in love. Cloudheart had always dreamed of becoming a Wonderbolt, but he had failed the entrance exams, so he decided to make a living by packaging and selling lettuce beer. Eventually his enterprise got quite successful. Derpy got a job at the Ponyville Post Office, and did her best to serve the community despite her minor handicaps. They bought a nice home together in Cloudsdale. Speaking of which.. ah, I got sidetracked again, damn apes! – Derpy thought.
“Hello honey, what’s the matter?” – asked Cloudheart, perplexed.
“Ah, nothing my dear, I just got carried away. Uh.. have you seen any apes around?”
“Apes? Not that I know of.. why?”
“Oh, never mind. Anyway, I just brought home some muffins from Sugarcube corner. I guess it’s time for dinner”
“YAY MUFFINS!” – shouted the white Pegasus with glee. The two started eating with loud munches.
“Om nom nom, these are so good” – remarked Derpy. “By the way, I had the weirdest job today. I’m sure you read my note about examining that gate.”
“Yeah, truth be told I was a bit worried, but I’m curious, so spare no detail” – said Cloudheart.
“Well, those ponies passing through it are out of their minds. I even talked to this fella, whatsisname, Mackill on the other side, he told me about his Lord Discorath and went on how they needed a mortal to save their realm .. insanity at its finest!”
“Disco who?”
“Yeah, that’s what I asked too. Disco Rat, Discorath, something like that.”
“So I take it that you’re going back to examine further?”
“Yup. Not that I’m overjoyed, but you know, Mayor’s orders..”
“Well, before you’d set out on your journey.. I’d like to cuddle up with you for one last time until you come back again”

Derpy nodded, and without further ado, they left for the bedroom. After 2 hours of sensous lovemaking, they fell asleep. Our heroine woke up earlier than usual, and had her fill of cereal and coffee. She hastily packed up some food and items in her traveling saddlebag. When her partner woke up, she quickly gave him a goodbye kiss and rushed to the mysterious door in the Everfree. Having entered the room, Mackill greeted her as usual:
“Well, hello there, mortal. Have you made up your mind? The tension is almost palpable.”
„I’ll do it”
„Fine. I'm sure my Lord will be most pleased, assuming you ever manage to see Him. You'll want to pass through the Gates of Madness. Oh, and mind the Gatekeeper. He dislikes strangers to the Realm. Enjoy your stay.”
With that he disappeared, and the room burst into thousands of butterflies. Derpy realized she was standing int he middle of a strange realm, surrounded by garish looking plants and glittering insects.

-TO BE CONTINUED-

[1] A fancy word for mayor, from German Bürgermeister
[2] Much like Pinkie Pie, Derpy Hooves can do actions that break the 4th barrier too. U jelly?
[3] I hope there isn’t already an OC by this name .. please don’t flame me!

Through the Fringe of Madness, and Beyond

Author’s notes: Shivering Isles content © Bethesda Softworks Inc. , MLP © Hasbro Inc. No infringement is intended in any way. I used some of the original Shivering Isles dialouge, courtesy of http://www.imperial-library.info

The Cantering Isles
(A Crossover Tale by DerpyZebra)
Part II.
Through the Fringe of Madness, and Beyond

Derpy Hooves trotted down the meandering path before her, quietly observing the cobblestones overgrown by fluorescent moss, took some glances at the frivolously colorful, eerie flora and fauna on her way, then the overly bright, blue sky beset by purple clouds. In the distance, she saw the outlines of a small settlement, which appeared to be hazily built, as if a number of houses were haphazardly placed near each other. Not knowing better, she decided to enter the village and ask for directions. Obviously, they would know where their ruler resides. – she reasoned to herself.

Upon entering the settlement, a zebra dressed in garish red clothes approached her:
„Hi, you must be new around here. My name is Sheldon, and I’m the Mayor of this wonderful town, Passwall . This is the only place where travelers can take a rest when traveling through the Fringe, the borderlands of our Lord’s kingdom. I suggest you visit our inn, we have the finest lettuce ale in stock..”
„Wow, thanks, but what is this place? ”
„Why, it’s my town, of course. It took me long years and my hand’s labor to start building it from scratch. The place was pretty deserted when I got here. Of course, once I was here, others followed. Can't say I blame them.”
„How do I get to your Lord Discorath?”
„I don’t think there’s a way you could. You’d have to pass through the Gates of Madness.”
„And?”
„There’s a Gatekeeper guarding the gates. They say the keys are sewn up in the Gatekeeper's body. Basically, that means you're not getting in. Now hush, let’s drink a couple bottles of ale and watch the Gatekeeper rough up a party of adventurers.”

Derpy followed the zebra into the tavern, proceeded to buy a bottle of ale for herself and waited for her newfound acquaintance to finish his purchase, then they dashed up a series of stairs leading up a hill. They stood on the edge of the cobblestone platform on the hilltop. Derpy was flabbergasted by what she saw there. On the other end of the platform, near the gates, a huge horse stood ground, larger than perhaps any creature the grey mare has ever seen. It seemed to be sewn from different parts, its flanks and chest were marred by eldritch shapes and symbols etched into its hide. It had a sharp blade intsead of a hoof on its right foreleg. A herd of perhaps 3-4 ponies in shining armor rushed towards it, only to be sliced and diced in mere seconds by the monster. Their leader, who odered the charge, ran away screaming:
„He's too much! Killed all my soldiers! Get out of my way!”
„Now that’s how you scare away them varmints” – remarked Sheldon in a tipsy manner after drowning his third ale .
„Is there any chance of getting past that..creature?” – Derpy inquired
„Dunno, better ask around the village, somebody must know how to get in. Now if you’ll forgive me, I must go attend the snail race. My money’s on Slimey, so he’d better win or else I’ll grind him in my salad” – with that, he polished in a bottle of hard apple cider.
The grey mare watched as the now drunk zebra groggily went about this business. There were a couple of other villagers, still cheering for the Gatekeeper, chucking empty bottles all over the place. Whoa, these guys are pretty loose. Are they right in the head? – she pondered.
Our heroine flew up above the village crowd, and noticed a middle-aged blue mare with a retort cutie mark approaching the guardian. She was not only unharmed, but in fact the Gatekeeper cuddled up to her!
The blonde-maned pegasus knew by instinct that she had to talk to her, so without further ado, she flew up and landed next to her, careful not to get in the Gatekeeper’s way.
The elder mare noticed her, and walked up to her:
„Well, what have we here? Another hopeful whose blessing hasn't fully taken root? No, I don't think so. You're an adventurer? How disgusting. Why don't you go back the way you came?”
„What? ... Sorry, no can do. I’m on a quest to find Lord Discorath. You seem to be close to the Gatekeeper. Can you help me pass through?”
„I’ll tell you what, you must be a proper jackass. You’re a pegasus and still you didn’t realize that you could fly over the gates and spare the time. But that’s okay. Lord Discorath likes fools. And in a place such as the Isles there is a ritual for everything. So I’ll have you know that the Gatekeeper is my child. He was spawned by my Lord’s will and conceived in my alchemical womb. I programmed his mind not to hurt mad ponies.Go ahead and give him an offering to secure his friendship.”
Derpy slowly pulled out a muffin from her saddlebag and carefully sneaked towards the guardian. She put the muffin near his feet. Much to her suprise, the eldritch horse ate it quickly and responded in a gravelly voice:
„A gift… for me.. how very nice. So.. do you want to be.. my friend?”
„Of course I do, silly, after all, friendship is magic!”
„Fine.. take these keys, they gave me nothing but.. pain”
Having said that, he cut up his left front thigh with his blade. From the bleeding wound he produced two keys, one for each gate.
„Welcome, enjoy your stay.” – he crowed.
The nearby crowd started cheering the newest addition to the Isles.
„Wow, you’ve impressed my child. This is no small feat, my little pony. Allow me to introduce myself. Reinmyna Marenim, sorceress.”
„I’m Derpy Hooves, nice to meet you. Now what?”
Before the blue pony could have replied, Mackill teleported to the spot with a bright flash.
„So, you've managed to befriend the Gatekeeper. Marvelous . Well, you'll now be able to enter the Realm proper. You'll notice there are two doors. One leads to the lands of Mania. The other to Dementia. Enter through either one. The lands are quite distinct, but both are Discorath's domain. You'll want to seek out Lord Discorath. I believe He has plans for you. Try not to disappoint Him.”
„Fine, I knew most of that already. Where do I find him?”
„You will find Him in New Diskkh, in His palace. It is best not to make Lord Discorath wait. His whims are fleeting, and should He decide you are no longer necessary, it would be to your detriment.”
„New Diskkh?”
„It is, of course, the capital of the Cantering Isles. It is divided into Bliss, Crucible, and the Palace districts.”
„And what’s the difference between Mania and Dementia?”
„The lands of Dementia reflect the darker side of its residents. It is easy to get lost among the tangle of roots growing out of the ground. The lands of Mania are bright, vibrant, and full of color. You'll find its inhabitants reflect the land itself. Take care, though. Though the citizens and creatures of Mania are colorful, they can often be quite deadly. I'm sure you can handle it, though.”
„Which side do you propose I should enter?”
„Well, I find that New Diskkh is a bit easier to approach from the Dementia side”
„Cool, then I’ll go at once”
„Fine, see you soon” – said Mackill, still not amused.

The others waved towards our heroine, wishing the best on her journey. She passed through the huge archway before the actual gate, committing to memory the incantation known as the „Blessing of Dementia” painted on the bleak stone walls. She opened the large, creaky metal gate, then trotted to the other side. She saw a landscape completely different from what she experienced in the Fringe. Dull, grey skies stretched over the land, itself dark and drab in colors. Huge roots burrowed into the ground, making the whole scene nightmarish. Derpy flew as high as she could, and noticed the lights of New Diskkh in the far distance. She flew as fast as she could, and in 10 minutes flat she arrived at the southern gate. There she decided to ask for directions from the guard, a strange animal akin to a zebra, but with grey stripes instead of white ones, and odd, cat-like eyes.
„Excuse me, which way leads to the palace?”
„It’s no big deal, young lady, just go straight for about 3 blocks, then turn to the right. It’s so huge that it’s almost impossible to miss”
„Thanks. I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what sort of creature are you? No offense, but I’ve never seen someone quite like you.”
„None taken. I’m one of the Mazzeb, the most faithful servants of Lord Discorath. Unlike the selfish Owleals, we really do protect the Realm’s citizens.”
„Good to know. However, I really need to get going now. Goodbye!”
„See ya.”

Derpy cantered across the streets of Crucible, up the inconveniently built stairs to the Palace. It was a grand, impressive edifice built in a style emulating Classicist architecture. On the Dementia side, blue, on the Mania side, red flames were burning in large stone vessels. Two smaller gates served as an entrance, on the right side, a Mazzeb, on the left, a creature that Derpy identified as an Owleal stood guard. It looked roughly like a tan pony dressed in golden armor, but with owl eyes and ears. The steadfast mailmare entered from the right. She found herself in a gigantic throne room. The walls were lavishly decorated, and certain items, most likely the owner’s relics, were showcased around them. Right before Derpy was a small coffee table, carved from the finesh mahogany. She couldn’t make out the rest of the interior as she approached the throne, bowing her head deeply to the monarch as she was taught as a filly on etiquette classes.
“Greetings, my Lord, I am Derpy Hooves of Equestria, how may I be of service?” – she rotely spoke
“Ah, what a nice young mare. Cut that formal crap out, you’re boring the buck out of me. You may stand.”
Having straightened up, she realized she was standing in front of a mighty throne, built from stone upon the roots of a huge tree, its stem supporting the seat. Near the it stood the ever loyal servant Mackill. Upon the royal seat sat a large Draconequus, a creature that seemed oddly juxtaposed from at least a dozen distinct animals, such as a horse, a goat, a dragon, a deer, an eagle, and so on. Derpy was astonished at first, then her face convulsed into an angry mess.
“Discord! How dare you trick me like that” – she roared, stomping a hoof on the ground.
“Calm down, my little brat, or I’ll have to rip out your intestines and coat them in chocolate. Mmm, yes, sweet chocolate. Firstly, it’s Discorath for you. This is the what I’m called here in the Isles. Secondly, let’s get your facts straight. As you might know, I used to be the ruler of Equestria in the ages of myth. In fact, I created it. Of course, back then it was called Discordia. Do you know anything about cosmogony?”
“What..?” – asked Derpy, confusion gleaming in her crossed eyes.
“Geez, don’t they teach you ponies anything? Is a proper education too much to ask nowadays? Anyway, I’ll enlighten you myself. Do you know how the world was made?”
“Um.. no?”
“Listen closely. In the beginning there was only the Void. In the heart of the Void there existed an universal Will, my Dread Father, Sithis. He created thoughts for his own pleasure, then dissolved them faster than lightning. In this eternal, swirling wind of thougths the world slowly started to shape. I was brought to life from such a thought. My Father was pleased, and he gave me the power of creation, tasking me to become the embodiment of Chaos and set up a world, controlled by My whims, to test the limits of creation. This I did with joy, and created a planet in a galaxy formed by the slowly cristallising matter found in my Father’s newborn universe. I set out to create life, and formed the ponies, the zebras, and whatnot. They lived happily, or so I think, in my ever-changing world, savoring the tastes of madness. I cared about them deeply, until two of my favorite ponies, Celestia and Luna rebelled against me . They used six ancient Void crytals, dubbed the Elements of Harmony, to banish me from my own world, and expelled me to swim in streams of the Void for aeons. Harnessing the magic of the elements, the two transformed themselves into deities. In fact, they are false goddesses[1].”
“Don’t speak of the Two Divines like that!” –frowned Derpy.
“Divines schmivines. Hush now, my child, look into my eyes, and forget everything you were told. Let me finish this story up.”
“Okay, sorry to disturb you. If what you say is true, then I’ve been deceived all my life.”
“Indeed you were,child. But don’t worry about it. Now, on to the story. After being exiled to the Voidstreams, I established this place, as a refuge until I could return to Equestria. It was no small effort to carve out a world from the empty waves of nothingness instead of the universal matter, but I made it. I decorated this place with some new life forms, as you may see. Slowly, more and more creatures trickled in as they found the way to travel between planes of existence, to enter My realm. The way to enter is through madness. Only those with the sparks of chaos in their minds can enter unphased. “
“Why did you open a cosmic gate in Equestria?”
“Actually, it was Mackill’s idea. I need a Champion, to run my errands, and eventually save this world from the upcoming crisis. I knew someone would show up and make it here eventually.”
“What crisis?”
“You see, I’m not the only spirit created in those early times. There are others like me, solidified thoughts of the Creator. Together we are known as Spirit Lords. After creating the Isles, my forces started to multiply rapidly, bringing entire galaxies under my domain. The other Lords became jealous, and cursed me with that bitch Jyggalestia, who comes at the end of every era to destroy the Isles in the event known as the Greygallop.”
“I can’t seem to grasp that. How do we measure eras?”
“Simple enough, my dear. Each time something remarkable happens in a mortal world, they call it an end of an era. The destruction of Nightmare Moon by the your Mane Six was such a happening.”
“When did the previous era end?”
“Just after the banishment of Luna to the moon, about a thousand years ago.”
“Wait, I heard something about this back in history class. Was the.. Ponyblivion crisis also your doing?”
“Heavens, no! It was the work of Mensroom Dagobah[2] , the Lord of Destruction.”
“And why did you choose to return to Equestria at the end of this era?”
“I felt the Greygallop drawing near, and as a desperate attempt I tried to break the cycle by retaking what was once mine. I know now it was a mistake.”
„I see. Who is this Jyggalestia?”
"The Spirit Lord of Order. Or cupcakes[3] ... No. Order. And not in a good way. Bleak. Colorless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring. And not a fan of My work, I can tell you. I don't think ANY of the other Princes like her, actually. I mean, Mulecath is more popular at parties. And Mulecath is NOT popular at parties.”
„Mulecath?”
„Another Spirit Lord. He’s the chosen deity of the mules and the self-proclaimed protector of the ugly beings. Boring no-lifer, that one.”
„I guess Pinkie Pie would still throw a party in his favor” – chuckled the grey mare
„Enough chit-chat, my filly. Hold your tongue. Or I will. You’re to go to Xedilian, one of my favorite spots in the Isles. It's a little place I use to take care of unwanted visitors. And some are more unwanted than others.”
„Why Xedilian?”
„The Gatekeeper takes care of most of the unwanted, but he's overworked. Anyway... there are those that have other ways into my Realm, and they're on the move. We don't want them here. Trust me. So, you're going to get Xedilian up and running. Here's a little book to tell you how, and the Attenuator of Judgement. You'll need that, too. Of course, you can always get more details from Mackill. He's a detail-oriented type of person. A big help. And a snappy dresser. Now, get going. Before I change my mind. Or my mind changes me.”
„If you insist, Lord Discorath..”
„Oh, and one last thing before you go. Take this trinket of mine. Perhaps it will serve you well. Or look lovely on your corpse.”
With that, he gave her a shiny gold amulet, known as the Charity of Madness. It had many powerful enchantments woven into it that protected the owner from various threats found in the strange realm.
“Mackill, treat the lady here to dinner. And explain her how the stuff in Xedilian works. My head is splitting from so much talk.”
“As you wish, my Lord” – said the dutiful butler, and proceeded to set the table for Derpy. He served her a plate of fungus stalk soup, a dish known as Withering Moon, and some Alocasia fruits for dessert. The tired mailmare ate with great gusto, then trotted up to him to talk about the details of her quest. Before she could say anything, he nonchalantly observed:
“The Madgod has given you a task. Surely, someone of your copious talent should be able to handle it.”
„Yeah, could you spare me some details about this place and what to do there?”
„Yes, I could. It’s quite an amazing place really. Wonderful for relieving one's tension as you watch those troublesome adventurers suffer... no offence. I'd say your next move is to head to Xedilian and get it reactivated.”
„How do I go about that?” – asked the mare with a derpy expression on her face.
„Ah... silly me. The book has no pictures. Can't really expect you to read that, now can I? To reactivate Xedilian for my Lord's pleasure, you'll need to find three Focus Crystals and return them to their resting place. Each crystal has a matching receptacle called a Judgment Nexus. Even you can't miss them. Without the crystals in place, the Resonator of Judgment, Xedilian's power source, cannot be restored.”
„I think I understand. Find crystals, put them into their place. Piece of cake.” – giggled the pegasus
„Exactly, but be wary of the Grummites. Nasty creatures, do not underestimate them” – admonished Mackill.
„Okie dokie, I’ll be on my way now. Goodbye, Lord Discorath. See ya later, Mr. Mackill.”
„Always a pleasure. Farewell.” – said the tedious chamberlain, letting out a small yawn.
„Ta! Come visit me again, or I’ll pluck out your eyes!” – said Discorath in a humorous tone.

Derpy flew in a comfortable pace over the Isles, until she saw a large maze built of stone on the far horizon. She slowly started to lower herself until she landed near it and finally caught a glimpse of Xedilian..

-TO BE CONTINUED-

[1] I find that Celestia and Luna in MLP canon acted pretty much like the AlmSiVi deities in TESIII. They harnessed the power of magical items (in the first case, the Elements of Harmony, in the second, Kagrenac’s Tools) to make themselves „living gods” and rulers.
[2] Reference to TESIV. Personally I'm proud of this spoof name, reminds me of Bigus Dickus..
[3] Oh bless you please, Pinkamena Pie :)