Kissing Practice
Diamond Tiara gazed lazily through the telescope, hoping against hope that this time there would be something interesting to look at. Nope; just more apple trees. Lame. Did those losers lead such empty lives that staring at apple trees was excitement for them?
Pushing the telescope away, Diamond turned to see how the others were doing. Silver Spoon was sitting beneath a lantern, every bit as bored as Diamond. Babs had explained the black flanks liked to sit under the lantern, waiting for good ideas to come. Clearly it was working for Silver about as well as it did for them.
Over by the door, Babs had taken some pens they found lying around and was scribbling on some crude drawing of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She was probably having the most fun out of all of them, but her expression was halfhearted.
Snorting, Diamond fell on her back to stare at the ceiling. Stealing the Cutie Mark Crusaders club house had sounded like a great idea at first, and it had been totally worth it to see the look on their stupid faces—especially Scootaloo's; she looked ready to have an aneurysm—but now that they had the club house all to themselves there wasn't anything fun to do with it.
“What do you wanna do?” Diamond asked them.
“I don't know,” Silver answered. “What do you wanna do?”
“I asked you!” Diamond snapped.
“This place is so boring!” Silver whined. “No wonder those losers doesn't have any cutie marks! Their lives are totally devoid of any meaning! Let's just burn it down!”
“And blame it on them!” Diamond cackled wickedly, sitting back up. “Yeah, let's do that!”
“Where do we find kerosene though?” Silver asked.
“My dad's, I guess.” Diamond flopped back on the floor. “I don't feel like going all the way to Barnyard Bargains now though.”
“Me neither.” Silver admitted.
All three girls let out a bored groan.
“Hey, guys...” Babs began, looking up from her scribbling.
“Yeah?” Silver and Diamond asked together.
A look of unease passed over Babs' face and she quickly turned back to her scribbling. “Nothing...”
“No! Tell us! I'm begging you!” Diamond demanded. “We'll do anything now!”
Babs looked up again, surprised. “Anything?”
“Yes!” Silver gave a desperate, pleading look to Babs. “We're dying of boredom here!”
Babs squeezed her lips together, flicking her eyes nervously between her new friends. It looked like the caramel-colored filly wanted to say something but for some reason couldn't. Diamond couldn't stand it any more.
“Please,” she whined.
Babs took a deep breath and shut her eyes. “Do you guys wanna practice kissing with me?” she blurted, her words coming out so fast it was almost a single word.
The suggestion sank slowly into Diamond's skull, the pale-pink filly's eyebrows rising as she realized what Babs was suggesting. She looked to Silver, just as confused as Diamond was.
“Excuse me?” Silver asked.
“Nothing!” Babs turned away, her voice frightened. “Forget it!”
“We just wanna know why you wanna practice kissing,” Diamond said.
Babs looked at them, trembling a little. She was really scared. Diamond didn't understand why she'd be that worried. It was a weird suggestion, certainly, but it wasn't like she and Silver were going to laugh at her about it.
“Well...I guess I look kinda like a colt, you know?” Babs told them. “I just thought that...maybe you guys might wanna practice kissing with me...before you kiss your coltfriends?”
Diamond frowned, thinking about the offer. It was true, Babs was big for a filly and her mane was boyishly short. It didn't take much imagination to see her as a colt. Diamond blinked. Suddenly Babs was looking rather handsome. As weird as it sounded, Diamond could see herself locking lips with Babs if she were a he.
“It's a stupid idea, I know!” Babs admitted. “Let's just forget—”
“No, I think I'll give it a try,” Diamond told her.
Babs' eyes grew wide, her jaw dropping. “Eh? Really?” The shock was obvious.
“I've got nothing better to do.”
Babs broke out into a huge smile. “OK! I promise I won't tell anypony, Diamond! Please, don't tell anypony else either!”
“Your secret's safe with us,” Diamond giggled. “Right Silver?”
Silver nodded, a bit wierded out by what was going on.
Babs took another breath. “Let's get started then guys!” She puckered her full lips into a kiss and shut her eyes, stretching her neck out.
Diamond hesitated, struck by how strange the situation was. She liked Babs a lot, but kissing her on the lips wasn't something she had expected to ever do. But, if she just closed her eyes and imagined...
Heart pounding like a drum, Diamond shut her eyes tight and puckered up, slowly inching forward. Their lips brushed just a bit, Diamond flinching in response, but they moved closer and their lips connected, pressing warmly together.
Diamond wasn't sure what she expected to feel, but what she got was a curious mixture of indifference and slight discomfort. It was all right with her eyes closed, but not very stimulating. She had to use her imagination.
I'm kissing a big, hunky colt with solid shoulders and strong legs. He's got a great smile, periwinkle fur, and a messy white mane, and he's pressing his tongue into my mouth...!
Springing from the lips she was kissing was a surge of warmth. It spread from Diamond's lips to the tip of her tail, her fur standing up as she shivered. Her ears stood straight and her heart raced. They weren't just kissing any more; their tongues had entwined, invading each others' mouth, deep and passionate. Diamond was an Earth Pony, but she felt like she could have grown wings and flown into the sky like a Pegasus.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they broke off, Diamond's eyes fluttered open to find a blushing, smiling Babs. She looked happier than Diamond had ever seen before. “So how was it?” Babs asked.
“That...was really good.” Diamond broke into a smile.
“Really?” Silver gasped.
“Really. You should give it a try!”
Silver glanced out the window. “Maybe tomorrow,” she said. “Look how dark it's getting. We should get home.”
“Make sure you do,” Diamond told her. “It's totally worth it if you let your imagination work.”
She poked Babs' muzzle playfully. “You sure are a great kisser, Babs! This was a great idea!”
Beaming, their new friend chuckled. “Thanks a lot; I'm so glad you agreed!”
Diamond smirked. “I'm definitely doing that again! I bet your cutie mark will be for kissing. You're gonna make a lucky coltfriend really happy some day!”
For a second Babs' expression dropped into a look of dismay and sadness, but just as it appeared it disappeared, replaced by a weak smile. “Yeah...coltfriend...”
Diamond and Silver waved good-bye and trotted off to their homes. Babs sat in the club house, clutching her hind legs and struggling not to cry but the tears came anyway. She supposed she had to be grateful that Diamond and Silver hadn't reacted as badly as her old friends in Manehatten, but they didn't understand either. Nopony did. No matter how short she cut her mane, how much she docked her tail, how many action figures and construction toys she amassed.
Why do I have to be a filly? she wondered as she cried into her hind knees.
Why couldn't I be a colt?
Author's Note
I had this idea for a while now, ever since watching "One Bad Seed" and wondering what the three bullies planned to do with the club house. It began with a joke about them having lots of sex in there, but I had no desire to actually write a story about that. Thinking about it more seriously, this story came to mind with the ending convincing me to put it down. Originally it was supposed to end with Babs being a lesbian, but now she's supposed to be a trans man (trans stallion?) who doesn't know what she is beyond secretly identifying as a male. I rather like this characterization of Babs; maybe I will make a story later where she comes to terms with her true gender and becomes a colt.
