I Couldn't Save You

by SolRadiante

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Princess Luna, Rainbow Dash, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Princess Celestia
Length: 18726

Rainbow Dash is wrecked. A simple autumn morning became the worst day of her life. Now she is obliged to face the most dangerous foe so far: herself. Will she be able to overcome her depression?

Accidents are inevitable. They can happen to everyone. Some of them may be harmless, but others can be devastating. And when Rainbow Dash is torn apart by a disaster she feels responsible for, she struggles to find a way to deal with the consequences.

Inspired by this heartbreaking comic made by the deviantart user ~Capt-Nemo

New cover art made by CaffeineAndApples

(Click 'more' for credits.)

Special thanks to:
Volgrand, Nonagon, I HV NO FEAR, Ltn Vasquez (Proofreaders)

All of the Above, Cheshire, Avishadow, and last but not least, Schizoid Nightfall (Pre-readers)

These users have made it possible what this story is today and deserve as much credit as me! Thanks again everyone!

Published 2013-08-14 23:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-14 23:50:03 UTC

Prologue

I Couldn’t Save You

Prologue

~*~*~*~*~

How many times have you wondered how a single mistake you made in the past... a single false move… can ruin the lives of everypony you deeply care about? How it could cause you so much hurting, as you live everyday with a guilt that you simply can’t forgive, or forget... and realize that it is too late to erase the damage you’ve done?

~*~*~*~*~Too many, and it only took one fateful autumn sunrise for me to see that. It was supposed to be an amazing day, a truly memorable experience for both of us, a priceless moment to be treasured for the rest of our lives.Unfortunately, not everything can go the way you expect it to be...There was nothing left for me but the depressing five years to come. No peacefulness. No reasons to continue. No will to stay among the living. Nothing but eternal remorse, like a blade that kept cutting deep into my soul, leaving a gushing wound that no pardon could heal.To make everything worse, the merciless tide of time had washed away everything I loved as days went by. My actions after the accident weren’t only bringing harm to myself, but everypony I held dear to me. The mares whom I’d preserved strong ties with since the day we met no longer cared about me. The powerful bonds that had helped us in numerous adventures when Equestria was in danger were all but shattered. But above all, the most important element in a pony’s life had vanished from ours: friendship.I was the only one to blame for all the agony I had suffered.To close my eyes and never open them again... that’s what I desired the most. Because over the years, I was unable to find solace for the horrible things I did. Ever so slowly but with devastating force... the stone of guilt crushed my entire being to pieces. I wanted to believe that it was a bad dream, an illusion only, but no nightmare lasts for five years. It felt like forever. And now, this journey... this anguish has finally come to its end. It was only proper. There is nothing left for me.~*~*~*~*~“What should we do? She’s barely breathing!” Voices...“Help! My friend’s life is in danger! If anypony can hear me... PLEASE HELP!” Voices of familiar ponies calling for me...I had chosen to forget everything. What I did to Scootaloo, my friends, and everything I’ve gone through. Except for the names of those two young mares who were dear friends with Scoots. Despite the hardships I’d inflicted to their lives, they brought comfort to my troubled soul. I couldn’t remember exactly the words. But I was certain it had to do with forgiveness of my actions.I didn’t want to forget what they did for me.But due to my rashness, the only thing I achieved was to bring them even more agony. I took a reckless decision which can’t be reversed. I truly am the worst pegasus ever. Their frantic voices resounded in my mind one last time before the darkness swallowed in.“Come on, h—hang in there! Just a little bit more! You’ll be ok, I promise.”“Don’t you dare close your eyes, ya hear me? Stay with us! Stay with us!”~*~*~*~*~I awoke from what it seemed a long nap. It would’ve been pleasant, except for the fact that my head was throbbing. My eyelids were awfully tired and heavy. It was hard work to even half-open them. But eventually, I did it, only to find myself in mass confusion.Nghh, what a headache... shouldn’t have had that much cider—wait, is somepony talking to me? I think I heard my name just now... but where the heck am I? I thought, clueless. I felt a dull roar emanating from my head like a burning fire. Given the evidence so far, the only thing that came to my mind was cider... I must have drank too much. Yet, even through my almost sober condition, I could hear voices. My name, even. But where was I? My mind felt fuzzy, kind of like I was swimming in nothingness. I couldn’t remember what I had done to be like this. I could see shapes around the corners of my eyes, branches? Maybe. Had I collapsed in a forest? Still, my mind was drawing a blank. The only thing I could recall, just a few moments ago, something really weird happened to me. Unlike anything I’ve experienced before.“I—I don’t know! Sweetie Belle and I were just talking to her a few minutes ago, then... she was struggling to breathe, and then... oh gosh, you’ve got to help her... please!”I must’ve heard somepony talk just now, but I couldn’t quite make out what it said. My ears were ringing to a deafening point. I felt weak, helpless, even.Alright, calm down, Rainbow Dash. You’ve gone through obstacles far worse than this. You just have to keep your head cool and everything will be fine. Nothing to worry about, really. Now if I could just... stand up... agh! It’s no use.My body refused to respond to any kind of movement. I tried to move my limbs to pull myself up, but they betrayed me. Exactly like I did to my best friends. I turned my back on them, and my body became the traitor now. That’s just how it worked, I suppose. It was only fair. My forelegs and hooves laid utterly still at my sides. They almost felt dead.Not broken bones or anything of the sort. Dead. I could feel my entire body slowly going numb.“Ain’t no time for that, sugarcube. If we want to save Rainbow Dash, we’ll both have to take her.”For that matter, those voices... who are they? They seem familiar, but I can’t remember who they are. Is it somepony I know? Hmm, I’m not sure. The ringing in my ears was finally wearing off. But my hearing was still acting funny. The voices I heard sounded distant, like they were echoing in my ears. I knew they were right beside me, but they seemed so far away. Aside from everything that had occurred this evening, it was a disturbing scene for me. Because of their desperate and terrified tone, I could tell something really bad was happening, like somepony was seriously hurt.That’s when I realized... that pony was me.What else could it be? They all seemed to be yelling my own name.My head was like a blank sheet of paper. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember the crucial elements that held the answers to my questions. Who are those voices? Where am I? And more importantly......What is happening to me? As I was thinking about it, I felt my body being lifted off the ground. I was then placed gently on a rough and hard platform; it felt like wood. The place where I was put suddenly began moving, and I could hear faint echoes of galloping hooves thudding on a trail. I wondered where I was being carried to.“The hospital is just up ahead sugar! Just hold on a little more, you’re doing it just fine. Please don’t leave us, Rainbow Dash!”I... I think I’m hearing better now! Applejack, is that you? Oh thank Celestia. Finally something good happens. That does it! No more cider for me... wha—what’s this feeling? I’m getting warmer... agh! The pain, it’s getting... worse! It hurts! It hurts! Make it stop!It wasn’t long before I began to experience the most painful physical torture. The seconds seemed like minutes. It was a pain far beyond worse than anything I had ever felt. My left foreleg stung as if a knife had been plunged right into it. My chest burned with great intensity, like a fire raging out of control. I wanted to scream so badly, and I believe I did, but my lungs grew weaker and weaker. I choked, desperately gasping for air.It was unbearable. The only thing I wished for was a cease of this terrible pain.  Thankfully, my prayers were answered.The pain had faded away, leaving nothing but a cold and empty sensation within me. I was haunted with a spine-chilling question.Is this how it feels to die?This reminded me of something. Daring Do had faced many ‘life or death’ situations in her adventures along the series. The narrator described how her whole life flashed through her mind when the grim-reaper knocked on her doorstep. In other words, when she was about to die.It was exactly what happened to me. Everything around me had frozen, like time itself suddenly stopped. I didn’t know what was happening, but it was the best explanation I could think of.What awaited me was the remembrance of my woeful life in a vivid manifestation. The starting point of that flashback would ironically be my last day alive, but the events that occurred today did a good job of filling in the holes in my memories.How did I end up in this mess?

Remembrance

I Couldn’t Save You

Remembrance

Today, I awoke as I have every day for the past five years. I was screaming with all my might, drenched in sweat as if I had just completed a day of wonderbolt training, and had an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and despair.

I just couldn’t rest easily or have a pleasant nap for once. Every time I fell asleep, I had the same horrible nightmare.Yet I deserved every bit of it.~*~*~*~*~A little filly, falling into a bottomless abyss. A terrified expression plastered on her face, tears forming and flying up in the air with her. Her eyes filled with fear. Her gaze screams to be saved, but she doesn’t let any pleas for help out of her mouth.And I’m there, flying much faster than I can possibly handle! A race against seconds for any chance to save her.“Just hold on!” I shout, then reach for the filly with a hoof as she helplessly falls. “Give me your hoof, I almost got you!”My determination to accomplish what I never could that day surpasses every obstacle clouding my thoughts. As the abyss closes in, she does her best effort to extend her hoof to a length where it almost touches mine. Almost...“I-I can’t,” the filly cries out in a whimper. She stares at me tearfully and begs, “Dashie, don’t leave me!”I don’t understand, and then I see she’s getting farther away. I can’t help but gaze at her terrified eyes as she descends into the darkness. That’s when I realize that she is gone forever, and I can do nothing to save her, much less see her again.“Scootaloo, no!”In the end of the dream, she disappears into the endless void as always, leaving me all alone in the darkness. Trapped in the prison where I will forever be: my mind. Then, the blood-curdling scream that had been haunting me nonstop for the last five years blasts through my ears.RAINBOW DASH, HELP ME!~*~*~*~*~It was hell to me, having the same dream over and over again, waking up in the least pleasant way every time. Despite everything, I always saw it as a piece of my punishment for what I did, so I tried to endure them as long as I could. But I wasn’t sure how much longer I would last. Both my sanity and willpower were on the verge of collapse.I felt myself return to the conscious world, and just like before, I was covered in a familiar cold sweat. I remained under the protection of my dark-blue blanket, feeling like a scared filly waking from a nightmare.“Oh Celestia… when will they stop?!” I murmured sharply to myself, trembling in fear. The dreams never failed at leaving me in a panicked state after I returned to reality. I was gasping heavily. It took a great deal of effort from my body to keep me from hyperventilating. My heart was beating abnormally fast and hard. I could feel my chest thumping with every pulsation it made. My eyes were all puffy and red. I felt wrecked.“I’m… I’m,” a lump formed in my throat that prevented me from speaking clearly. Then, I held my knees closer to my chest, and tightly shut my eyes as tears started streaming down my face. “I’m so sorry…” I whispered in a barely audible voice.I said those words often. Unfortunately, they would never be heard by the filly I loved and cared about so much. I would do just about anything to spend even a minute together once again, and say all the things I didn’t tell her while she was still with me.Suddenly, my sobs were interrupted by an all too familiar noise.BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.I wiped my eyes with a foreleg to clear any remaining tears, then I let out a tired groan like I hadn’t slept all day. “…What time is it?”Sticking my right hoof out of the sheets, I turned off the alarm clock that was blaring at me to wake up. I rose from the dark-blue blanket covering me, then slowly opened my eyes. It was 5:00pm on the clock, the hour that signified the end of my daily afternoon naps.As I slid to the edge of my bed, I took a pair of violet slippers from a wooden drawer next to it, and put them on my forehooves; they were an anonymous gift. Although the color wasn’t really my style, I couldn’t say no to a warm piece of clothing like that. Ponyville can get pretty cold in winter, and right now Equestria was in the middle of autumn, so there wasn’t much time left till the coldest days made their arrival.My stomach grumbled unexpectedly with hunger, so I made my way to the kitchen for some leftovers. As I crossed the hallways of my home suspended on top of a cloud, I noticed how much it had decayed over the years: rubble lying about everywhere, broken photos from my childhood with my dad scattered on the floor, even dust bunnies lining the corners.Leaving that aside, I continued walking to the kitchen. But as I was making my way through a corner, I tripped over something. It happened so suddenly that I barely had time to throw my hooves against the corridor wall. I caught myself in the nick of time before landing on top of glass shards. I won’t lie, that little event made my heart skip a beat.Phew, that was a close call! Last thing I need right now is any more damage than the bunch I already have... I thought, letting out a somewhat relieved sigh.When I regained my balance, I glanced down to look at what the cause of my fall was. There in front of me lay an elegant ornate frame shattered in three pieces. In the center though, was a photo that brought me happiness, nostalgia, and yet so much sadness and grief. It had some scratches and had faded over time, giving it a sepia tone. The picture was clearly some years old, but the memories that it preserved were still as new as they’d always be.It was the very first photograph with my best friends, where we all stood together with smiles on our faces on a grassy hill somewhere on the outskirts of Ponyville. That photo was taken a few days after Twilight’s arrival to town and the defeat of Nightmare Moon.“Why... why did I leave you? Just what the buck was I thinking?!” I snapped. Anger, fury, and a whole bunch of dark feelings boiled in my veins that almost made me want to kick the wall. But I stopped at the last possible second, ‘cause I knew it would only hurt more. Then I dropped onto the floor defeated, barely holding the tears away. “You were the only reason I stayed for so long, if you girls could forgive me someday...”~*~*~*~*~I wasn’t like this everyday, so miserable and mentally devastated.There were times when I still had a ‘normal’ life. There were days when I still was the boastful and maybe overconfident pegasus despite the tragedy that happened to me. And it was all thanks to five particular ponies who made me feel that way. I knew I wasn’t on my own through those harsh times.Broken. That’s how I felt after that fateful day, when the accident took place. But my friends never let me down. They truly tried their best to cheer me up, words can’t express how grateful I am for their efforts.When I drowned in my own tears of sorrow, they would pull me right up from that lake of sadness.In the loneliest of times, they always stood right by my side. They spent invaluable time with me. They made me see the light that shines from a true friend. None of my best friends left their most loyal friend hanging for a moment.Twilight Sparkle was the first one who reached out to me. She asked me to come by her place a week after the funeral and invited me to a writers convention in Manehatten, can’t remember the name of it though.I would have refused, knowing that I’d be surrounded by a bunch of eggheads like her. But that occasion was different, because the author of my all-time favorite book series, “Daring Do”, would be having an autograph signing session for all her loyal readers.I just couldn’t let that once in a lifetime opportunity slip away. I was so excited to go that I even started jumping from joy and squealing like a fan mare. Twilight said she hadn’t seen me smile in a long time. A memorable experience like that helped ease my mind from the pain I was going through for a couple of months.Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy... they helped me smile too, and feel happiness once again for a whole year. Each of them in their own way of course, when they hung out with me on their own. With the girls keeping me company almost everyday, and always making sure I had a good time with them, it seemed to everypony like I was fully recovered. Or so they thought....The day that would change my way of living in a 180 turn dawned when the accident had its first anniversary, exactly four years ago. It was rare if somepony saw me out of my house. I grew more distant from my friends and everypony from Ponyville. And don’t get me started with the cutie mark crusaders. I just couldn’t look them in the eye anymore, not after what happened. I would avoid them whenever possible or fly away if I bumped into them.It may have been cowardly and foolish now that I think about it... but again, I was truly torn apart. Because that was when the nightmares started haunting my dreams every single night, they reminded me of the incident in the most terrifying way possible.Some days I would go for a flying session only around my house or do a little exercise indoors, like a hundred wing push-ups, just to shake my mind of all the troubles. Other days I wouldn’t go outside at all. But I never left my duties as a weather patrol pony aside, even if they were meaningless tasks like busting some clouds.I spent two years like that, my sanity shrinking and shrinking with each day that passed. My best friends started worrying a lot about me, they knew I was still deeply hurt about the accident, and my condition wasn’t making any progress. They were running out of ideas on how to help me.At some point, there would be countless occasions when my best friends stood for hours below my floating home. They were desperately trying to reassure me, to come out and talk about it, to convince me that I could be cured, that everything would be just fine, and that I could return to my normal life once more.But one day, I just snapped. I flew down from my house, landed in front of my friends, and gave them a soul-piercing gaze. My emotions overpowered me and forced me to say these cold-hearted words.“You’reall becoming a big nuisance! Seriously! Who the buck asked for your compassion?! Leave me be for Celestia’s sake!”I had spat it with enough venom and hatred to shatter their hearts. The girls were at loss for words. They couldn’t believe what I, Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty, had said.“I don’t want to see you around here anymore, just go mind your own business elsewhere.” I said emotionless, then flew back into my house above without saying anything else.BAM!I slammed the front door with a hard hind kick, and threw the picture with my best friends against the wall in a violent frenzy.Maybe three seconds had passed before I absolutely regretted everything I had said. But by the time I came to my senses, it was already too late. I flew in haste to a nearby window, and saw my best friends... or former, I should say. I saw them heartbroken. The saddened look of betrayal on their faces was unbearable, their cheeks overflowing with waterfalls of tears.That was the last moment I made contact with them.From that day on, I had transformed into the very being I feared.I was no longer the proud and competitive pegasus who always felt above everypony else. But more importantly, the most loyal of ponies who would never betray her friends and who you could always count on to be there.That was the final strike. The next day, I chose to quit my job as a weather patrol pony and left the Wonderbolts training academy. I didn’t feel worthy of myself to continue doing what I loved. It was nothing compared to losing my best friends. Just what was I thinking? I asked myself again. I had no job to make a living with, nor anything worth living for.The only thing I wanted… was to shut away from everything.I felt awfully guilty, because despite the horrible things I said, Fluttershy didn’t forsake me. She had flown to my home every single day without hesitation, leaving bags full of supplies in front of my doorstep for me to live by: apples, hay, vegetables, grains, water, soaps, that sort of thing.After I treated my friends in such a heartless manner, the ones who sacrificed most of their free time to console me, I was clearly the least deserving pony to receive that kind of compassion. A slow death from dehydration or famine was the only fair punishment to justify my actions.But Fluttershy refused that fate for me, she truly represented the Element of Kindness.Another huge weight of remorse had fallen upon my being.~*~*~*~*~Grumble*“Right, something to eat...” I said, in a hushed voice.I grabbed the photo with my mouth and placed it on a nearby glass shelf, where all the peaceful memories would rest forever. All of them in a single picture. After a last glance, I continued my walk across the hallway.I finally arrived at my destination. To my left was the kitchen, the living room to the right, and the front door in the center. All of the rooms had their windows covered up by dark-blue curtains, so the surroundings were dimly lit by faint rays of sun cutting through the darkness.As I was searching through the numerous empty cabinets, I managed to find some bread slices and hay fries to satisfy my hunger. To quench my thirst, I poured the last of the apple cider into a mug. Then I stared deeply at a blue scooter leaning against the wall.“For you… little sis…” Gently, I lifted the mug into the air with a hoof, and downed the refreshing liquid in one shot, hiccupping moments later. The Apple family had made their cider stronger with each year that passed, to the point that only full-grown ponies were allowed to drink it.After I finished my snack, I threw myself onto one of the cloud-sofas in the living room. As I was trying to get comfortable, I sensed an aura of purity and light coming from the couch opposite of me, as if her presence was still there.I know your intentions were on the right track princess, but it only made everything worse for me. I thought, somewhat grateful but disappointed as well.It was two years ago on this very day, not long after I broke the friendship with the rest of the girls.~*~*~*~*~“Ninety eight... ninety nine... one hundred!”I had just finished my daily flying session and the hundred wing push-ups, so I took a shower after that. The cold water refreshingly running through my body after a tough exercise was one of the few pleasures I still enjoyed. It was like a sanctuary where I could wash away every misfortune and all the dark feelings inside me.It was around noon when I heard an unexpected knock on the door and a mysterious muffled voice calling my name.“Rainbow Dash, are you home?”Huh? Who could that be? I thought. I turned off the shower and put on my blue bathrobe, drying up my mane with a small white towel as I flew to the front door.“Coming.” I replied.When I opened it, I was almost without words. She was the last pony I had expected to find on my doorstep.“Princess C-Celestia?” I stammered, left in awe at her radiant elegance. It seemed pretty odd that she would stop at my house in a normal day like this. When I peeked my head out, I was counting on seeing a royal chariot and some guards standing firm outside, but they were nowhere to be seen. She was completely alone. “Umm... oh right, my bad!” I made an awkward bow, a sign of high respect towards the princess.She let out a giggle. “Good day, Rainbow Dash. Do you think it’s a good time to talk? I’d like to have a word with you.” Celestia examined me from head to hoof, aware of the droplets of water falling down from my bathrobe. “Oh, I apologize if I interrupted anything, maybe now’s not the time...”She turned around, slightly ashamed, and prepared to take off. This definitely threw me off-guard, the fact that Celestia herself had payed me a visit out of the blue. I wasn’t going to let her get away just like that. “Princess Celestia, wait!” I shouted, she stopped when she heard my voice.“It’s nothing, princess, just got out of the shower and nothing more.” I said reassuringly. I stepped aside to allow her into the house. “Come on in, please make yourself at home.”We went to the living room, neither of us talking along the way. Then I gestured at the princess to take a seat by the sky-blue couch opposite of me, and remained silent. I waited for her to speak first. Her gaze seemed lost, not looking at anything in particular. She clearly had the best poker face I’ve seen. I couldn’t tell what the princess was thinking, or feeling. Why would she visit me all of the sudden? I knew this wasn’t just a social call.After a long and awkward silent minute, the princess cleared her throat and made eye-contact with me.“How are you feeling, Rainbow Dash?”I sighed, gazing down at the floor. “I’ve been better…”“Hmm,I suppose so.” She glanced at me concerned.“Rainbow, after seeing what happened between your friends, and realizing that the mishap with Scootaloo is still bringing you so much pain, my sister Luna and I have decided to send you to a mental clinic.”“What? I need to go to what place now? Are you two out of your damn featherbrained minds?!”To any other pony, that would be the definite way I would’ve replied. Not to Princess Celestia of course, I would never swear in the presence of royalty. This time, I gritted my teeth, took control of my deeply wounded emotions, and found a more respectable way to answer.“I don’t understand… why would you do that?”“My dear subject,” said the princess, “you must see that you have enclosed on yourself. You refuse to see anyone, and it has remained like that for a long time. You need professional aid. It’s the only possible way out of your never-ending grieving state.”“A long time?” I rolled my eyes in disagreement,“pfft, that’s ridiculous! How much has it been… a month?”“Two years, Rainbow Dash.”I was taken aback at the princess’ response, time sure flew by quickly, but for me it felt like forever. So much had happened in those two years since my sanity went downhill, I realized what I was going through that moment wasn’t merely sadness or sorrow. It was something much worse that would eventually destroy me if something wasn’t done as soon as possible.Even the magic of friendship couldn’t heal me.“Alright, alright,” I said, convinced.“You got it. I’ll go to that mental clinic as you say. I don’t have anything to lose anyways...”After a rather straightforward reflection, I agreed to entering that mental clinic. All expenses were generously paid by Celestia and Luna, not from the Equestrian vault, but from their own savings. They only wished for me to get back to my normal life.Now I see how well that turned out…~*~*~*~*~I spent nearly two years in that clinic. A place far away from Ponyville to the northwest of Equestria where I kept doing activities, meeting other patients, doctors, socializing with them, etc. It was decent, I suppose, kind of fun at times too. Despite the tons of new ponies I met, I never made any real friendships with them. I wouldn’t forgive myself to further shatter the broken friendship I had with the rest of the girls. That’s when I realized how lonely I was in there, how much I hoped to be finally released.But healing a depression like my case wasn’t an easy task. It wasn’t easy to live with either. I have experienced it at its fullest while I was alive. I understood that sadness and depression are two completely different things.

Depression is not to cry for every single thing. Depression is a desire to stop breathing, because the simple act to do so hurts. It’s to believe you have to die because nothing will ever get better. It’s a sharp pain you feel every time you wake up and see that the only possible solution for all your problems is to cease to exist.It’s a constant fight. You have to keep your mind busy with other tasks, petty as they are, to avoid those kind of thoughts. Still, suicide is lingering on your mind 24/7.It’s not a simple frame of mind. It’s a psychological problem.

My depression was the whole reason that I couldn’t get released from that mental clinic. It would’ve taken less time for the doctors to notice the severity of my problem. But the thing is, I was trying to hide it. I couldn’t bear the thought of spending another minute in that prison.It only got worse.I was transferred to one of the best psychiatric hospitals in Equestria... the worst kind of insane asylum if you ask me. It was located over a large hill with the glistening blue waters of the endless sea a few miles ahead to the west, even farther away from my little home village of Ponyville and any kind of civilization. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience, especially when everypony in there was a complete lunatic in one way or another.I knew I had to try harder in concealing my depression, that is, if I ever wanted to be free. It didn’t matter if all of it was paid by Celestia and Luna, it was clear that the doctors would never be able to erase the damage I’ve caused and heal the scars from my soul.Luckily, I’ve always been an ace in hiding my true self from the public eye. I had my pride and reputation to maintain in the past. But this was a more challenging task: to convince the doctors that I recovered from my problem completely.And I did it! It took at least a month for them to release me. I had finally returned home just three days ago, but anyhow, there was nothing waiting for me...~*~*~*~*~I was in a severe emotional breakdown in my homecoming. The thought of suicide lingered stronger than ever in my mind. The day of the fifth year since the accident drawing nearer with each hour that passed. And when it came, which was today, I knew I was ready. I had the crucial element to do such an action as to kill myself within my hooves for these three days since my release.“Unicorn’s Lament...” I said, out of the blue. I wasn’t aware that I started daydreaming. When I came to, I noticed I was staring blankly at the ceiling while resting on my back in the cloud-sofa, my hooves crossed on the back of my head. “Heh. Who knew a plant could be so deadly.”I took a disturbed glimpse towards a picture frame hung in the wall beside me. It had a painting of a rainbow, shining beautifully above a mountainous landscape. I rose from my sofa and walked towards it. Complete silence reigned in the dimly lit room, and only the rushed beatings of my heart could be heard.I grabbed the edge of the frame with my mouth, removed the painting from the wall, and threw it to the side. Its wooden frame shattering to pieces as it crashed to the floor. It revealed a secret hidden hole in the wall. A long piece of thread tied to a small flask lay inside the gap. The bottle contained a pale and harmless-looking liquid.~*~*~*~*~A few days before I was released, there was a patient who caused quite an uproar with that flask in the mental hospital facilities, and all of Equestria as well.I was in the large cafeteria along with dozens, no, maybe hundreds of other patients having our usual soup dinner. I had no idea that Equestria had so many mentally sick ponies. Anyways, it was pretty boring most of the evenings. It wasn’t everyday when somepony had the brilliant idea to start a scene out of nowhere.Fortunately, that was one of those days... hehe, and the most awesome one in all my time I spent in the damned hospital.“Stop!” a voice echoed from outside the room. Moments later, the white doors from the cafeteria flew wide open with a loud bang. All eyes in the room turned to look at a frail-looking patient frantically running away, holding something in his mouth. Three orderlies came in hot pursuit, wearing stern expressions.I was seated in a table far away from the commotion, so I couldn’t get a clear look at the stallion. But I did notice when he jumped on top of a table, his eyes darting everywhere, searching for an exit. He was completely surrounded and cornered.“Leave me alone! You have no right to make decisions in my life,” the ill stallion cried out, his voice carrying a great amount of pain. There was something oddly familiar about him. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere, or somepony.“We’re not going to say this again,” one of the broad orderlies said firmly, holding a nightstick in his mouth. “Give us the flask and maybe we’ll forget about this little chase you’ve put us through.”“So you wanna do this the hard way, punk?!”the patient roared. I was astonished by his speed and dexterity. He grabbed a bowl of soup resting by his side, made a quick spin and threw it straight at the attendant’s face, knocking him out cold after an ugly crack.Then it was madness! A whole bunch of peacekeepers armed with truncheons rushed into the cafeteria. Some of the reckless patients joined in the brawl, while others screamed in terror as they tried to hightail it out of the room. Me? I hid inside a nearby trash can, and waited till everything cooled down. My curiosity about the flask was killing me. How could it have created such mayhem? I wanted to know the answer even if it was the last thing I did.So I waited, and waited. I heard numerous pained cries after a loud crash.  The struggle was all over five minutes later.That night when I went to the restroom to wash my face, I overheard some nurses in the neighboring hallway talking about the liquid that was contained in the flask. They said the name ‘Unicorn’s Lament’, and that it was a plant.The hospital had a small library for the patients who liked to read or simply who wanted to kill time. So I did a bit of research the next morning. I found out some disturbing facts about that mysterious plant. Not only did it have  an eerie name, but it was not something to joke about.

Unicorn’s LamentAn exotic and highly dangerous plant found only in tropical forests far away from Equestria. It is extremely rare to find it in the wild due to its inability to drop seeds on its own.As a consequence, preventing its natural reproduction. Some experts speculate that magical creatures or native tribes help to reproduce the plant. This area is to be researched more thoroughly, expect more information in future volumes of this book.The plant is roughly the height of a filly and approximately thirty centimeters in width. It consists of a silvery-white bush. From the center emerges a stem with a bizarre flower-like part at the tip. For reasons still unknown, the stem is always hanging low as if withered. An important aspect of the flower-like part is that it has a single thorn in the center. The thorn secretes a type of poison which can pass right through the skin, acting as the defense mechanism for the plant. This process makes the plant appear to be weeping, hence its name, the ‘Unicorn’s Lament’.The poison is deadly enough to end the life of a full-grown pony if not treated within minutes. Its symptoms strike the victim quickly and with devastating effects, which are listed here: dizziness, shortness of breath, seizures, short-term loss of memory, severe clotting in the coronary arteries leading to heart attacks, and ultimately, death from cardiac arrest.A full recovery from poisoning isn’t 100% achievable in most of the cases, so it is highly advised to exercise extreme caution if encountered in the wild.

As I was packing my things on the day of my release, preparing myself to leave the hospital, I noticed the bottle of poison resting inside my bag. I was shocked. How the heck did the flask end up among my things?! I saw it with my own eyes when the orderlies confiscated the flask after shooting the stallion with a tranquilizer gun. Numerous theories passed through my mind, but the most plausible one? It was a second flask that the doctors weren’t aware about it. I wasn’t sure if some patient out there wanted to put the blame on me for the poison, but I took the opportunity and carried the poison with me back to my home. Nopony ever suspected a thing.~*~*~*~*~And so, that’s how I secretly kept that lethal substance within my home, waiting for the day to end all of the pain and guilt I’ve endured for so long. What reason was there for me to keep living? I took the long thread with a hoof and slipped it among my head. The bottle hung on my neck like it was a necklace“Maybe it’s finally time for me… to pay Ponyville a visit...” I said, my voice emitting everything but happiness. I had somepony in mind, one that I haven’t visited in quite some time, and whose birthday was today.I took off my slippers and left them below my cloud-sofa. When I made sure that I was ready to go, I turned to see the front door lying a few meters ahead of me, dust covering it completely. Slowly, I took a few steps towards it and opened it, a loud and harsh creak sounding in the process.The cold breeze of autumn sent shivers throughout my spine, but it also felt heavenly good. My mane danced gracefully at the symphony of the wind.Spreading my wings wide open, I jumped off my cloud-home and took flight. A large smile appeared on my face. The radiant sunset across the mountains made me feel so happy and free; it had been too long since I graced the skies like this. I took a deep breath and exhaled pleasantly. Being imprisoned in my own home, I had almost forgotten how fresh air tasted.As I flew through the orange evening skies of Equestria, I could hear civilization as I got nearer to Ponyville, peaceful and gentle as always. I brought myself to a halt when I spotted five ponies on a grassy hill in the outskirts, enjoying the beautiful sunset Princess Celestia had bestowed upon our wondrous kingdom.A single, yet powerful teardrop slid down my cheek. Nostalgia and regret came crashing down on me. I still recalled those days, back when our strong bonds of friendship kept us together. We found no sorrow or pain knowing that we had real friends standing right by our side.But now, given the circumstances, I wondered if they had moved on with their lives. If they had erased me from their minds, if they no longer considered me as their friend... or even somepony they met. My soul weighed me down like stone at those thoughts.“Goodbye girls... it’s been truly amazing to have met you all… thank you for being the best friends a pony could ask for.”After I bid my last farewell, I flew away quickly before they could spot me, heartbroken that I could never recover them again.

“It’ll be night very soon,” Twilight Sparkle sighed in disappointment, gazing at the sun slowly hiding behind the mountains on the west horizon. She watched as the moon took its place. A gentle gust of wind whistled through the grass.The five friends had reunited in the green hill where they’ve always enjoyed having picnics together. A vanilla round cake with Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark as frosting rested in the center of the tablecloth, the words ‘Welcome Home Dashie!’ written on the dessert in an elegant manuscript style. “I guess we should start packing up...” Twilight stood up from the soft grass, covering her mouth with a foreleg as she let loose a tired yawn.Before anypony could react, Pinkie Pie sprang from her place in a snap, taking hold of Twilight’s shoulders with both hooves.“No Twilight, wait!” she pleaded, hastily. Her blue eyes trembled as the tears struggled to break through, the corners gleamed faintly like a sparkle in the moon’s light. Her pink mane was no longer poofy and messy. Instead, a straight and slim cut had replaced the joyfulness of Pinkie Pie. “Let’s wait a bit more; m—maybe she’ll come!”Calmly, Twilight blinked and gently freed herself from her friend’s tight grip, shooting her a saddened look. “I’m sorry Pinkie, but I’m afraid she’s still not ready.”For a moment, Pinkie Pie remained unmoving. She no longer had the strength to hold back the tears as they streamed down her face. Then she sat down in the smooth green field, burying her face into her forelegs as she let out a sob. “I miss her so much… and all of it, it’s our fault,” she sniffled. “I wish we could do something to make her happy again...”Fluttershy put on a comforting grin and kneeled down before her crying friend. She pulled her into a tender hug as she affectionately stroked Pinkie’s flattened pink mane with a hoof. “Don’t be sad, Pinkie Pie. We all miss her too, but we can’t afford to make the same mistake again...” her gaze held a great amount of pain for a second, but she did her best to cheer up again. “No need to worry, I’m certain that time itself will heal her poor wounds. I hope…” the last sentence came out as an inaudible whisper.“But... but...”Applejack trotted over to Pinkie Pie, gaining her attention as she placed a hoof against her back. “Ya know Rainbow Dash is in pretty rough shape. I would be too in her hooves,” she jerked her head away. “It’s been only three days since her release... if she needs more time alone, then we can’t do anything about it, sugarcube.”“I feel so sorry for her, she must’ve felt so lonely and gloomy in that place,” not looking at her friend’s eyes, she asked, “Applejack?”“Yes, Pinkie Pie?”“Does... does that make us bad friends?” her voice shook with each word she let out. “Not being able to help her?” Pinkie expected some kind of answer, comforting words that would make her feel better. But all she received was silence from Applejack. When she glanced at Fluttershy and Twilight, Pinkie noticed they were brokenhearted too. None of them could bear to answer her question. They knew they had failed in the most important aspect of friendship.As Pinkie Pie let her sobs out, they became stronger than ever before. However, a levitating handkerchief wiped away her waterfall of tears. Looking upwards, she saw Rarity offering a helping hoof, wearing the warm smile a true friend would always have. Pinkie accepted it, returning the grin, and stood up from the ground.As the Element of Generosity, she did the same to the rest of her disheartened friends. Their anguish was dispelled as Rarity’s hope was shared among everypony. They were reminded that her beautiful heart would never rest until they had a smile on their face. Be it a completely customized dress for the gala, or cheerfulness in the depressive days.“Despite of the circumstances, girls, don’t ever forget that we are still Rainbow Dash’s best friends,” Rarity stated reassuringly, gazing at everypony. “Although she may not see it that way anymore... we must be there for her when she needs us. Only then, will she happily embrace her life once again,” her words had reached through everypony’s hearts, relieving her friends from most of their pain.“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Pinkie sniffled as she cleaned the last tear off her face with the small tissue Rarity gave her, but she was still engulfed in sorrow. “I’m not in the mood for spending tonight all alone, as the Cake family will be away for the weekend; they’ve put me in charge of the business. So, umm…” she hesitated, glancing down as she poked the grass with her hoof, a little bit embarrassed. “Would… any of you girls want to sleep at my place?”Twilight gasped in excitement, her eyes gleaming with joy. “We should totally have a slumber party!” she exclaimed, clapping her hooves. “I’m sure that will cheer us up.”“Yay! That’ll be so fun!”As everypony agreed upon the wonderful idea, Pinkie Pie’s sadness was replaced by happiness in an instant as she began to hop joyfully in place. Her mane remained in its flattened state though.“Why, yes,” said Rarity smiling, “that would be most delightful. You girls should go on ahead, I need to make sure Sweetie Belle is alright, seeing as she has gone to Sweet Apple Acres,” she glanced over at her friend Applejack, clearing her throat before speaking. “Applejack, would you be so kind to accompany me while I’m at it?”“Sure thing, Rarity,” she gladly replied. After a small farewell, the five friends trotted their separate ways. Applejack’s expression turned grim after some time of walking, when they were about to enter the farm. “Apple Bloom has gone with her too. If I have to guess… we’ll find them near their clubhouse.”“Oh my…” Rarity halted, slightly lifting a hoof in a pained gaze. “Scootaloo passed away at such an early age, and on her birthday no less. What a horrible tragedy had fallen upon our dear Ponyville...”“Poor Rainbow Dash,” Applejack continued. “Having to endure that kind of pain for the rest of her life… it simply breaks your heart,” she removed her hat and looked upon the shimmering stars above. “I can only wish we can get Rainbow back.”

By the time I had reached Sweet Apple Acres, the moon had risen high into the sky, giving birth to the night. The atmosphere changed drastically. No longer could I hear the noises of Ponyville. Instead, only the peaceful sounds of nature, the soothing sound of the wind, the tree branches moving in the windy night, even the occasional ‘hoot’ of an owl. I landed halfway there and started walking. I had an awkward but strong desire to listen those sounds fully, maybe because I’d been excluded from the outside world for a month.As much as it seemed serene, my mind only grew more troubled and uneasy the closer I traveled towards my destination. Countless apple trees passing me by as I made my way through the apple orchard.After several minutes of walking, I had finally arrived to the most secluded section of the farm. There I saw it, the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse in an open area of the orchard just as I remembered it. Perhaps a bit run-down, like it hadn’t been used for a while. But I didn’t give much attention to it. The disturbing part was resting right below the structure.A small cross made of wood.  A purple helmet resting on top of it. The red cape of the CMC securely tied onto it. A couple of flowers bringing peace to the deceased pony in its final resting place.I remained utterly still, shooting a disturbed gaze at the haunting sight before me. I felt vivid memories of the past start manifesting themselves through my mind.It was this same day five years ago, when everything started… when it all began.~*~*~*~*~“Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash!” a familiar voice from a filly exclaimed with such an enthusiastic yell, it made my eardrums ring. She was  overflowing with excitement.I felt something hop over my stomach, slightly knocking the wind out of me. I tried changing positions and falling asleep again as I lay resting on my bed, but she wouldn’t let me. Accepting defeat, I finally asked, “Is that you, Scootaloo? How’d you get all the way up here?” I yawned for a prolonged time, opening my tired eyes. I saw the little filly right on top of me, a huge smile plastered on her face. Then I took a glance at the clock in a nearby shelf. She had woken me up a little bit too early. “It’s barely even eight in the morning! Why the sudden rush, kid?”She replied with a silly chuckle,“I asked Pinkie Pie to drop me here with one of her crazy flying contraptions. Besides, don’t you remember what day it is today?”“Umm... is it the annual Running of the Leaves race event? Darn, I don’t remember signing up for that...”She gave me a disapproving look. “...Seriously?” Scootaloo was so gullible at the time, as expected from a filly. But she looked so adorable when I joked around with her like that. I couldn’t help but to keep doing it.“Heh, I was just kidding with you kid. Of course I do! Come here…” I pulled her close to me and messed up her purple mane with a hoof, giggling happily together.“Happy birthday, Scootaloo! And I’ve got the perfect surprise for you.”“Really? Wow, thank you so much, big sister!I can’t wait to see what it’s gonnabe, we’ll have a blast for sure!”Big sister... I never thought I would be addressed with that title. Since our camping trip in Winsome Falls along with AJ, Rarity and their siblings, our ‘sisterly bond’ blossomed together. I even had adopted Scootaloo as my little sister a few days after that. Greatest choice of my life.I didn’t have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and all that fancy pants stuff for the adoption to be... legal. It was a strong feeling of devotion that simply united us. We started treating each other like sisters, and that pretty much did the trick.To teach Scootaloo everything in my book and take care of her, that was my new dream. One that I vowed to myself to make true. Besides, it was pretty cool to have the little sister I never had, the same goes to Scoot.I baked a chocolate cupcake for her to celebrate her birthday, she really loved chocolate. It didn’t turn out as well as I thought, as it got a ‘tiny bit’ burned… okay, okay. It came out completely toasted. But it didn’t matter. She blew out the candles with probably the widest grin a filly could make. Scootaloo was happy. I was happy. That’s what mattered to me.It seemed like destiny was just toying with us, giving us happiness on a whim, then having it taken away so easily. Because later that morning, I gave her that special surprise she had anticipated so much: a private flying session where I performed amazing stunts while taking her under my wing.Something went wrong, terribly wrong...It transformed what could’ve been a truly memorable gift for her birthday into a complete disaster.The memories of that fateful day were still blurry to me, as I’ve been trying to forget all about it. Although there’s one thing I do remember. Before we took off into the skies, the atmosphere felt a bit ominous. I couldn’t explain it, but there was definitely something not right.“Hellooo, earth to Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo knocked on my head a few times.“Huh? Wha—what?” I said, cluelessly, shaking my head a bit.“You feeling alright, sis? You were acting a little weird just a while ago.”“Oh, um, yeah I’m alright. Just... you know, warming up for the take off.”Scootaloo adjusted her helmet strap a bit tighter. The adrenaline being pumped through her veins was noticeable in the determination of her voice. “If you’re finished, then let’s rock & roll!”So we took off...The skies were completely clear that day, there wasn’t a single cloud in sight. It was one of the rare sunny days in the middle of autumn. I was carrying her, showing Scootaloo what it felt to be alive and free as we graced the skies of Equestria. I realized too late it was a big mistake. I was blind enough not to see the error of my ways until there was no chance to save her. I was aware she wasn’t riding on my back anymore when I heard that scream, that petrifying, horrifying scream.“RAINBOW DASH, HELP ME!”How could I have been so careless?! I had one task… to make her birthday only the most awesome and amazing of all! Not her last! But… but, oh gosh, if I had noticed it sooner… even by a bit, I could’ve saved  her. I swear to Celestia, I was flying as fast as lightning! But the point where I couldn’t go any faster was inevitable. We weren’t flying up that high, so the ground got closer and closer, giving me mere seconds before the impact. “Hold on, Scootaloo! Just give me your hoof, I almost got you!”Scootaloo’s wings proved to be useless as they were still too small to keep her aloft. She wanted to scream so badly, to unleash the terror from that shocking moment. Instead, she put all her effort in reaching her right hoof, almost touching mine, just inches away…“Almost got you… almost—”But every hope of making it was vanished in the blink of an eye. Scootaloo simply ceased to be... when a loud crash echoed throughout the land.“No… NOOOOOOO!” This can’t be happening!I carried her unmoving body in my forelegs to the Ponyville hospital as fast as I could. I hoped that she could still be saved, but it was all in vain.“Please, Nurse Redheart! She has to live, there must be something you can do! A—anything at all, you just gotta help her… p—please.” I begged in a pained voice to the red-haired nurse standing right in front of me, barely holding back my tears.Nurse Redheart was at a loss for words. She didn’t have the courage to look me in the eye, and I didn’t blame her. Being the bearer of bad news was a horrible task I bet. She simply placed a hoof on my shoulder, looked at me straight in the eye, and said these fateful words. “We’re so, so sorry, Rainbow Dash, but Scootaloo will not live. I won’t go into medical details unless you want me to. I can assure you however that she’ll not feel anything on her passing. I wish I could help her, I really do. But I’m afraid Scootaloo has passed the point of no return...”Her words struck me like a mace shattering my heart to pieces. I didn’t want to believe what I heard. Scootaloo, my sister, my only and loved little sister… dead. There was nopony else to blame but me. It simply destroyed me from the inside. I dropped onto my knees heartbroken, on the brink of tearing up. I managed to find the words and strength to ask.“Her burial… when can it be held?”“We’ll start making preparations as soon as we can. It should be ready by nightfall. I’m again truly sorry for your loss, Rainbow Dash…”Even though Nurse Redheart must have seen countless other patients pass away on her shift, she carried a genuinely saddened gaze. Scootaloo was just a little filly after all…The night of the funeral couldn’t be any more different from today. Every single pony from Ponyville, including my best friends, were in attendance. The crusaders: Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom were in the first row. And Babs Seed, who traveled from Manehattan as soon as she heard the tragic news, made it to the ceremony just in time. She was also sitting in front along with her pals.From a request made by the crusaders, Mayor Mare agreed to bury Scootaloo in front of the CMC clubhouse, her crusader cape and purple helmet remaining on her tomb. However, I kept her scooter with me; I wanted something to remember her by on my ever-lasting mourning days.Mayor Mare delivered a truly touching and professional speech as she always does. She sowed the eulogy seeds for the energetic filly who always rode on her blue scooter at full speed, often causing trouble for everypony in town. Despite everything, all of the pony villagers always had a great liking of her. We all grieved our last for Scootaloo, as she would never be forgotten from our hearts.~*~*~*~*~Those vivid flashbacks and weeping ponies surrounding me were only illusions created by my brain. They were starting to slowly fade away, leaving me once again all alone in reality, standing right in front of Scootaloo’s grave. Tears formed in my eyes as soon as I ceased recalling those tragic memories.I walked to her tomb step by step, holding the need to sob on the way. The wind suddenly blew stronger, making the tree branches move wildly and causing my mane to cover half of my face. I could sense a familiar aura, a comforting presence around me.As soon as I reached Scootaloo’s final resting place, everything quieted down. A gentle breeze of wind brushed my entire body with a pleasant feeling of serenity, almost like it was trying to whisper something to me.“You would’ve turned fourteen by now... h—happy birthday Scootaloo,” an involuntary sob escaped from my mouth. “You had so much left to live… so much to discover… so many dear friends and ponies who loved you. And a destiny to be fulfilled in the long life ahead of you… all of it gone to waste because I couldn’t save you…”Unable to hold it for any longer, I broke down. My head leaned against the wooden cross, crying harder than I’ve ever done before, because it would be my very last. I had endured this pain for far too long. I lost my best friends because of my actions. The filly I adopted as my little sister had died because of me.I simply could not withstand that huge weight of guilt anymore.“I’M SO SORRY!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, high into the glistening stars in the night skies. How can part  of my name be ‘Dash’ if I wasn’t fast enough to save a pony I truly held dear to me. I thought. “Please, forgive me, Scootaloo,” my voice dropped into a faint whisper. I pulled her helmet close to me as I kept weeping my heart out.A minute had passed before I rose up once again from the ground. Letting out a sigh, I yanked the poison hanging from my neck, and stared at it while it rested on my right hoof. I wished to die right beside Scootaloo, and put an end to all the misery I had gone through.My mind was blank.I removed the tap of the bottle and slowly lifted the flask up to my mouth, its contents on the edge, ready to be poured inside me.There’s just so much that time could not erase. My wounds have bled to their limits. I don’t deserve to see the light of dawn ever again...There was the slightest moment of hesitation. As soon as I felt the liquid touching the tip of my tongue, I shut my eyes. Then the poison slowly made its way through my throat. It was way too late for any chance of regret.“Rainbow Dash, is it really you?” said somepony from behind.“Gah!” I yelped.Astonished by the mysterious voice calling for me, I dropped the flask onto the ground, the rest of the liquid spilling down into the grass. Turning around, my eyes couldn’t believe what they saw. It was Scootaloo, standing a few yards ahead of me! The wind made her purple short mane and tail move freely. Her expression was in a saddened frown.“S—Scootaloo?! What the... but... how can it... be...” I stammered, left speechless at the sight before me.“Scootaloo? What are you talking about? It’s us, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.”I rubbed my eyes thoroughly with my left foreleg, and opened them again. It was clear enough, they were Applejack’s and Rarity’s siblings, a little taller than I had remembered them before. I let out a faint gasp when I spotted a piece of their cutie marks adorning their once ‘blank flanks’.Since the incident, I just couldn’t show my face to the crusaders anymore. It pained my soul so greatly that I had killed their best friend, and that she never discovered her cutie mark.I closed my eyes and lowered my head sorrowfully, unable to make eye-contact with the two of them. I wasn’t planning on flying away this time.“I don’t blame you girls if you hate me… or if you want to see me banished in the moon, or incinerated in the sun,” my voice came out without any emotion.In fact, I deserved that horrible sentence, but neither Princess Celestia or Luna approved. In all these years, I never knew the reason. Why spare my life after taking away a little filly’s one?They didn’t answer back. Instead, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle trotted towards me and pulled me into a hug. Even though I couldn’t see their faces, I could tell they were smiling. I didn’t know how to feel or how to respond, it wasn’t the reaction I hoped for. I just stood there, blankly, not moving a hoof.Sweetie Belle slowly let go of me, and gently lifted my chin with a hoof to gaze at my eyes. “We wanted so much to hate you… to hold a grudge against you…”Apple Bloom was the next to let go, taking a few steps backwards. She remained at her friend’s side. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders… well, former that is, now that we have gained our cutie marks. It ain’t the same anymore without our dear Scootaloo.”“But it was an accident,” said Sweetie Belle, wearing a small grin as she placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “It can happen to everypony… tragic and unfixable at times, but still only an accident. We had already forgiven you five years ago.” She had a warm smile, placing a hoof against my chest. “And we know for sure you would gladly give your life away in order to save Scootaloo’s.”There was no doubting what she said. If I could travel back in time and sacrifice myself so that my little sister could still be here, I would do it in a heartbeat. As I would have done it for Rarity, and the rest of my best friends when they could’ve met their doom if I hadn’t saved them.“Rainbow, you came here because it’s Scootaloo’s birthday, right? You came to visit her?” asked Apple Bloom eagerly.I replied with a nod.“We’re here for the same reason,” Sweetie Belle continued. “Please Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo wouldn’t have wanted for you to stay sad. So why don’t you come with us back to Ponyville? We were about to go there once we spent some time with our dear friend.”I sighed, jerking my head away. “I don’t know girls… I’m not sure if I can handle it...”“Oh don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Apple Bloom smiled as she ran behind me and started to push. “Come on y’all, I can’t wait to see my big sister’s face and the rest of the gang when they see you.”“No, you don’t understand! I don’t know how much time I have left before I... I...”“Before what?” Sweetie Belle took a few steps towards me, distress was notable in the look of her gaze.My end was drawing near. The symptoms of the poison had finally taken effect, and with unbelievable speed too. A searing pain stung my chest. Dizziness and a strong headache swelled in. The landscape moved like tidal waves in a storm. Then I hit the ground hard, a constant beeping noise resounding throughout my ears. I felt like I was being choked as I struggled to breathe.“Rainbow Dash, what’s wrong?!” I heard Sweetie Belle cry out, her hooves pushing against my chest to help me breathe. “Rainbow, RAINBOW! Oh Apple Bloom, what should we do? She’s barely breathing!”“Somepony, help!” her friend Apple Bloom screamed at the top of her lungs, frantically looking in all directions. “The life of my friend is in danger, if anypony can hear me... PLEASE HELP!”Feeling... faint...My blurry sight managed to spot in the distance a pony wearing a hat, and a unicorn beside her, galloping towards me.“Applejack…Rarity…” I whispered their names, barely audible, my eyes on the brink of collapsing into an eternal rest. Turning my gaze to the night skies above, the last I could see was a shimmering light emerging from the full moon, and then everything went dark.And so... this is where the remembrance of my life came to an end. After this point, I lost my memory due to the poison’s effects. The guilt and pain I’ve endured for so long vanished as I breathed my last.I have finally found peace.

Forgiveness (Continuation to previous chapter/Alternate ending)

I Couldn’t Save You

Forgiveness

“Stay with us! Stay with us!” Apple Bloom shouted as she kept moving Rainbow’s barely conscious body with her forehooves. “You’ll be okay, I promise you’ll make it through, but you’ve got to keep fighting!”As soon as Sweetie Belle caught eye of her sister and Applejack approaching, she ran to them as fast as she could. Tears were already leaking out from the young mare’s eyes.“Sweetie Belle, there you are! I was looking for you all over the—oh my, darling, what happened? Why are you crying? Is everything alright?” Rarity kneeled down and pulled her little sister close in a quick hug, allowing her to catch her breath before letting go.“I—It’s Rainbow Dash, I don’t know what’s happening to her but it’s really bad!” she replied, hurriedly, pointing with a hoof where Apple Bloom was tending over Rainbow’s unmoving body.“What?!” Applejack snapped, horrified. The three ponies bolted to her dying friend. “Apple Bloom, what in tarnation happened?”“I don’t know! Sweetie Belle and I were just talking to her a few minutes ago, then... she was struggling to breathe, and then—oh gosh, you’ve got to help her... please!” Applejack’s sibling responded in a trembling voice.“Oh dear… I’ll go for a pegasi ambulance right away!” Rarity declared, turning around on her way back to Ponyville. But she was ultimately halted by Applejack, who placed a hoof firmly against her shoulder. “Applejack what are you doing? Let go of me!” “Ain’t no time for that, sugarcube,” said Applejack, looking straight at Rarity’s eyes. “If we want to save Rainbow Dash then we’ll both have to take her.”She gestured with a hoof to a wooden cart used to transport apples. Rarity nodded, and with a mystical aura glowing from her horn, she levitated her unconscious friend and gently placed her in the back of the cart. The two of them adjusted the leather strap around their waist to pull the cart.“Apple Bloom, in the meantime you and Sweetie Belle go and tell the rest of our friends about this, they’re all in Sugarcube Corner,” Applejack ordered. Her little sister acknowledged with a saddened nod.“Please save her big sis…” Rarity’s sibling snuggled the side of her sister.“Rest assured my dear Sweetie Belle, we’ll do.”At full speed, Applejack and Rarity sprinted across the apple farm back to town. Bewildered and terrified of not knowing what was happening to their best friend.~*~*~*~*~Relieved, that’s how Rainbow Dash felt. The most painful experience her body had endured moments earlier, and all of the guilts and pains she had carried for so long were finally over. She couldn’t feel a single thing, her soul was in peace, but her conscience was haunting her with a disturbing thought.Am I really on the point of no return?She opened her eyes in a snap at the thought, gazed at the surroundings, and found herself standing in nothingness, only a white landscape that spanned countless miles ahead of her.“Hello? Is anypony here?” Rainbow’s voice echoed throughout the mysterious world surrounding her. She waited a while, but nopony answered.Just when she was about to start walking, the whole white nothingness turned into a dark void. Rainbow Dash felt a cold shiver running through her spine, as it resembled the same landscape which she had intensely feared for the past five years.It can’t be, not this dream again!And there she saw it once more, an orange little filly falling into a pitch-black abyss right before her eyes.“Hold on Scootaloo, I’m coming!”Spreading her wings wide open, she plunged down head-first at maximum speed. She gave it her all. But despite her efforts, she was unable to reach her hoof as always. Rainbow watched the filly slowly fading away. She braced herself for the inevitable blood-curdling scream that has always tortured her since the beginning.No… not like this! This time, I will accomplish what I never could in life. I won't be defeated by this illusion. Not ever again!This time, I will save you!She pushed her acceleration far beyond its limit. She could feel the stiff resistance of the sound barrier on the brink of breaking apart, this was her chance!C’mon, c’mon, just a little more!The battle cry from Rainbow was silenced by deafening thunder as the sound barrier was shattered by her signature move: the Sonic Rainboom. The colorful blast dissolved the dark void into oblivion, grassy hills and a normal world replaced it. Rainbow had fulfilled what seemed the impossible for her.I did it… I really did it! Rainbow thought.This is what I really wanted for both of us in the end, Scootaloo. To never be apart. She had caught the filly just before she hit the bottom, she couldn’t help but to grin widely.As Rainbow Dash planted her four hooves into the green hills, she allowed the filly to step back onto sweet earth. But she noticed something was off. The filly was no longer riding on her back anymore, and the hills had disappeared from sight in the blink of an eye.Rainbow Dash was standing on a gorgeous white cloud floating high in the night sky, almost touching the vast universe above. She could see countless stars, far more than a pony in the ground would be able to see. Twilight Sparkle would be overwhelmed with joy if she viewed the majestic scenery for herself.What the—how did I even end up here? she thought, completely clueless.“A warm welcome to you, Rainbow Dash…” a celestial and gentle voice echoed throughout the night sky.That voice, could it be?Rainbow wasn’t mistaken. When she turned around she saw the sparkling princess of the night descending towards the gorgeous white cloud where she was standing. Just like before, Rainbow was left in awe at her radiant elegance, like a full moon, matched only by her sister Celestia.“Princess Luna…” said Rainbow, making a bow to the process, a sign of high respect.“Please, call me Luna,” the princess stated with a warm smile. “There is so much we must speak about, Rainbow Dash. But allow me to please you first, as you must have many questions clouding your mind with uncertainty.”“Just, what is this place? None of it makes sense at all. Well, it could be a dream after all...”“In a way, you are correct. However, this is no ordinary dream.” As she lifted her forehooves into the air, the princess’ horn glowed with a blinding arcane energy, causing Rainbow to shield her eyes with a foreleg.The next second, Dash found herself in a hospital room. She gazed disturbingly at an unconscious pegasus identical to her, a breathing mask secured on her face, several cables attached to her body, and medical machines. An EKG was displaying the heartbeats each time with a bleep, as doctors and nurses ran back and forth doing their best to save her.“Hey, what do you think you’re doing!?” Rainbow snapped angrily, the medics in the room remained oblivious of her presence. “I’m talking to you! You can’t just ignore me like that you—”With a quick magical flash, Princess Luna appeared by Rainbow’s side, cutting off whatever profane word she was about to blurt out. “Save your shouting, Rainbow Dash, for they are unable to see or hear us.”“Huh?” she lifted an eyebrow in bewilderment. “Please, Luna, just tell me what’s going on.”“Hmm,” the princess gave a wary look, “do you not recall the events that have brought you here in the first place?”Rainbow placed a hoof against her chin thoughtfully. “Kind of… you see, I payed a visit to Scootaloo’s tomb. I remember seeing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle there too, but… then...” she knocked her temple with a hoof, thinking harshly. “Darn, I can’t dig up more than that.”“Lack of memory from the terminal moments in life, this was to be expected,” said Luna, reasonably. “It’s one of the common signs of what you’re passing through this very instant.”She remained silent, waiting for the answer.How can I put it in simple words? Luna thought. The princess cleared her throat before giving an answer. “Rainbow, you are in the state of a near-death experience.”For one moment, Dash’s pupils shrank to the size of a tiny ball, but quickly returned to their normal size. “So... I’m really dead, huh?” she said a bit shocked, turning her gaze to look at her unmoving self resting in the hospital bed.“Not entirely,” Luna replied, “allow me to explain. This rare event occurs only when the body of a deceased pony is successfully resurrected thanks to science and medicine, a splendid achievement that magic alone can’t accomplish. Your soul has departed your physical body which is in a comatic state. You are now in the spirit realm Rainbow Dash. It’s like… waking up from a dream, said dream being the living world, and beginning what awaits you after death.”Rainbow groaned in frustration, “Ugh, this is too much for me! How can you even be talking with me right now if I’m… partly dead as you say?” her patience was about to reach its limit.Luna let out an amused chuckle. “Being the princess of the night has granted me access to otherworldly magic, my sister Celestia lacks this gift however,” she explained. “One of my other duties that nopony hears about is to guide the departed souls to the afterlife, or show them the error of their ways and making them see how precious life is.”“In other words, you’re here to lecture me…” said Rainbow annoyed, flying mid-air as she rolled her eyes with her hooves crossed on her chest.“If that’s how you want to perceive it then suit yourself,” Luna stated, slightly lifting her chin a little bit offended. “It is both a priceless and disheartening task, but we can speak more of me later. This is about you.”With another flash of Luna’s spell, they were back in the gorgeous white cloud floating high in the night skies. Dash could see almost all of Equestria, distant skyscrapers in the horizon that belonged to Manehattan, small villages like Appleloosa and Dodge Junction in the desert region, and the crystal mountains to the north where the majestic Crystal Empire resides. Truly a sight to see.“Amazing...” said Rainbow in astonishment.“Isn’t it? From here I’m aware of everything that’s taking place around Equestria as the night lives on.” While Rainbow was distracted enjoying the scenery, Luna turned around and a saddened frown took place on her expression. What you did tonight... it has shaken all of Ponyville and your friends more importantly. She thought, perturbed. Perhaps this event was only for the best, it is now my turn to—“There’s something bothering me, Luna,” said Rainbow letting out sigh, gaining the princess’ attention as she snapped out of her thoughts.“What would that be?”“Before you came to me, I had this dream... but it felt so out of place,” said Rainbow uneasy. “It was completely different from the ones I had back when I was alive.”She smiled again. “It was your willpower that allowed you to control your dream. You should feel proud of yourself, Rainbow Dash. Not everypony is capable of taking mastery over their dreams, much less their nightmares. The way you saved Scootaloo is a commendable achievement indeed.”“Hey, I never told you what my dreams were about,” said Rainbow warily. “Does that mean... you could see my dreams all along, couldn't you?” she gave a suspicious look at the princess.“I’m afraid so, my dear,” replied Luna apologetically, as she returned the gaze .Rainbow jerked her head away, glancing downwards in grief. “No, it’s alright. I deserved it… all of it. Those sleepless nights when I would always wake up crying and screaming, drenched in sweat, it was a mere piece of my punishment,” her voice trembled with each word she spoke.Luna remained silent, as she could sense the great amount of pain in her subject’s eyes. With a sigh, she said, “As much as I desired to cease your endless torments, a pony’s psychology is far more complex than any kind of magic. Even I, an alicorn princess, am powerless against it. That is why my sister Celestia and I sought professional aid in order to heal you,” she closed her saddened eyes. “But even the doctors couldn’t prevent you from carrying out such an unspeakable action as suicide…”Rainbow narrowed her eyes at the princess. “Do you even have an idea of all the agony, regrets, and painful memories I’ve created in my life? The pain I have caused?” she turned away, hiding her tearful eyes from the princess’ sight. “And all of that from a single mistake, a single false move I’d taken. It ruined a filly’s life that I had taken under my wing and adopted as my little sister… I realized how much she meant to me the second she passed away. Back then I was young, stupid, and always had my pride over anything else. That’s why I never took the liberty to say how I truly loved her while she was still with me...”As she began to sob gently, Luna flew over to her side, and with one wing she pulled her into a deep hug, pulling her close with an intense maternal love. Rainbow kept crying her heart out, her head buried in the princess’ chest as her weeping became stronger than before. Tears flowed freely in Rainbow’s eyes, she didn’t have the strength to hold them back anymore.“Come, child,” whispered Luna comfortingly as a single tear streaked down her cheek. “Embrace your princess of the night. Do not allow any tears to weigh down your soul. Take as long as you need, for I understand greatly your pain.”Rainbow tearfully looked up at the princess. “You… you do?”She nodded. “A sister whose flaw has brought misery upon the other sibling, I have fallen victim of that fate as well. When my evil self Nightmare Moon took over my body, Celestia had no choice but to imprison me in the moon. A thousand years she passed grieving every single night. A thousand years I kept hearing her agonized wails at the full moon...”As Luna told those words, one of her most heartbreaking flashbacks surfaced from the deepest parts of her mind. She strived to forget those harsh memories, for they only brought harm to her. She was unsuccessful, however. Luna found herself engulfed into a nightmare even she couldn’t escape from.The cries of her sister Celestia.~*~*~*~*~“Luna… Luna! Please, forgive me! This was all my fault. Your heart was slowly being consumed by hatred and bitterness, and I couldn't foresee what you were transforming into. I swore to myself that I would never let anything bad happen to you... and I have failed my greatest duty as the elder sister.I just wish for you to return, and tell you how much I love you my little sister. I need you… I can’t live without you. We are meant to rule together. We are meant to be together as sisters.”~*~*~*~*~The princess of the night returned to reality with a faint gasp, her eyes trembling as if she would break into tears at any moment. She couldn’t forgive herself for causing all that pain to her big sister. And she wouldn’t let the same event replay itself once again with her faithful subject Rainbow Dash. Luna turned her gaze onto the weeping pegasus curled up like a foal in one of her wings, her voice carrying a great serenity within itself.“If it wasn’t for you and all of your friend’s heroic efforts who vanquished my evil self with the Elements of Harmony’s power… Celestia would have perished, and all of Equestria doomed in eternal night. There’s no favor that can possibly repay the gigantic debt I owe to you and your friends, but I think I have found a way to start.”“W—What do you mean?” Rainbow stammered, looking up at Luna’s warm gaze.She let out a giggle, “For the answers you seek, blink twice, turn around, and then you will see…” Luna recited with a smile.“I… I don’t understand, what is—”“One…” Rainbow blinked.“—Is going to happen when I…”“Two…” She blinked once again.~*~*~*~*~The instant she did the second blink, Rainbow was no longer with Princess Luna in the white cloud high in the skies. Puzzled, she glanced at her surroundings, trying to figure out where she might’ve ended up.She could see Applejack’s farm in the distance, and the CMC clubhouse too. Rainbow noticed she was standing over green hills in the outskirts of Ponyville. There wasn’t a single cloud in sight, only the glamorous full moon lightening up the night.Princess Luna’s words echoed through her mind, telling her what do next. She had blinked twice, now she had to…~*~*~*~*~Rainbow Dash remained petrified, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Ever so slowly, her lips turned into a smile that held all the happiness in the world. A single tear slid down her cheek for the sight that she truly couldn’t believe at first. But she knew it was no longer merely a dream or an illusion.It was real. “Scootaloo!”“Dashie!”The desire for both sisters to embrace each other once again was strong indeed. As they had been separated by the cruelness of fate five years ago, it had been too long since they had felt the sisterly bond blossoming in the emptiness of their hearts.They didn’t take a moment’s hesitation to run towards each other.Scootaloo maintained the small size of a filly and features like she was five years ago. She launched herself at Rainbow Dash with tremendous force, making her big sister lose her balance and trip. They rolled a few times in the grass, and then finally held onto each other’s forelegs like nothing would ever tear them apart, both sisters let waterfalls of tears drop to the grass nonstop as they kept their hooves together.Overwhelmed with joy, Rainbow said, “Scootaloo… I have so much to say to you, so many things I’m sorry about, that I don’t even know where to start! If you even have the slightest idea how hard is for me to say this, now that I have you with me, I can’t find the words to—”“Shh, it’s okay, Dashie,” Scootaloo whispered with a tearful smile, comforting Rainbow’s aching soul. “It was nopony’s fault. That birthday was truly the most awesome and amazing of all! I never had anything like that before, spending a flying session with my all-time idol and big sister… it was the best birthday gift somepony has given to me, I really mean it.”Dash returned the smile, and hugged her tighter. “I’m just so glad that I get to see you again, kid.”Scootaloo’s eyes saddened in a second, avoiding her big sister’s gaze, she gently freed herself from the embrace. Rainbow didn’t know what was happening, had she said something wrong? Or done something she wasn’t supposed to do?“I hoped it was under better circumstances…” said Scootaloo, disheartened.“What do you mean?”She stood up from the grass, shooting Rainbow a disappointed glance. “I’ve watched you sis. All you have been through since the accident… what happened between your best friends... how you gave away your dreams and future only to grieve for me… the hospital… everything.”Sudden flashbacks invaded Rainbow’s mind, they resembled everything Scootaloo had mentioned. She saw herself yelling at her best friends then slamming the door, leaving them heartbroken below her home. The scenery spontaneously changed to Spitfire’s office in the Wonderbolts training academy. Despite of the captain’s stern and strict personality, she was crushed upon seeing the best trainee that the facility ever had, and possible future Wonderbolt, signing the resignation letter.~*~*~*~*~“I would’ve preferred if you didn’t have to quit, you know,” the captain said dishearteningly, her purple aviator shades hiding the anguish in her eyes. The final strokes of a quill resounded in Spitfire’s ears as Rainbow Dash officially signed the end of her future Wonderbolt career. “But you must have your personal reasons, and I won’t interfere with them.”“Thanks, ma'am,” said Rainbow as she left her uniform, leader badge, and flying goggles in the captain’s desk, “that sums it up. It’s not you or anything, it’s just... I can’t go on any longer.”“Whatever thing that’s messing with your head must be pretty big for you to carry out that kind of decision,” Spitfire took out her shades, her former trainee was already on their way to the exit. “Always remember Rainbow Dash,” she stopped with the captain’s words, “this facility will always have its doors open whenever you choose to return.”“Yeah... maybe someday...” Rainbow shared a last glance with her ex-superior before stepping out of the office, and never returning again.~*~*~*~*~Unwilling to recall any more tragic memories, Rainbow waved her hooves rapidly above her head to shake off her troubled thoughts. “I didn’t want any of those things to happen!” she cried out. After regaining her composure, she rose from the ground and stared Scootaloo in the eye. “But I was weak. My depression defeated me. Why would I ever want the girls, or the Wonderbolt I aspired to be, out of my life?”“I know, Dashie, that’s why I stayed,” her little sis responded uneasy.Rainbow Dash said nothing, allowing Scootaloo to continue.Scootaloo turned away, her gaze looking at the CMC clubhouse in the distance. “I didn’t go anywhere. I just couldn’t leave you like that. I feared you would do something stupid sooner or later. And I was right… the moment I saw the poison hanging from your neck, I tried to stop you. I was the wind in the trees trying to communicate with you,” her head turned slightly to look at Rainbow. “But in the end, I couldn’t save you either.”“Heh, seems like we’re even now,” Rainbow countered playfully.“Haha yeah right you silly!” she laughed.Both sisters shared a tender moment of giggling and laughing; it helped ease the tension that was growing in their conversation. But as much as Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo wanted for it to last forever, every good moment has to end.“Seriously though,” Scootaloo cleared her throat. “Think about everything you have lived for, sis. Your dreams of becoming a Wonderbolt, do you really want to throw them away just like that?” she said, her voice sounded gentler than before. “Think about your best friends, Dashie. How do you think they’re feeling in this very instant?”“Beats me,” replied Rainbow downhearted, "they don’t like me anymore. I turned my back on them and lost any friendship I had with the girls, you said it yourself,” she lowered her gaze. “I have nothing left waiting for me back in Ponyville…”“Oh really? I don’t think that’s quite the case.” Scootaloo lifted an eyebrow with a grin. She bolted away without giving Rainbow a chance to respond.“Hey, where are you going?”“It’s a surprise, but you’d better catch up!”“A race? You are so on!”~*~*~*~*~Some minutes had passed before they arrived where Scootaloo was headed, no place other than Rainbow Dash’s home. They stepped into the very structure that had been her prison in life.“So uh… why are we here again?” asked Rainbow, a bit puzzled.“For that, it should help you remember, sis,” replied Scootaloo, pointing with a hoof to a sealed scroll dropped on the floor. "Come on, take a look."A letter? I don’t recall seeing it today. I wonder who must’ve sent it. Rainbow thought, surprised.She walked to the sealed scroll, grabbed it with her mouth and unfolded it. Rainbow began to read aloud its very message that held the so-desired truth to her false memories.

Dear Rainbow DashWe can’t know for certain if you’ll take the liberty to read this letter, or even look at it… but I’m sending it anyways, because we’ll never know when we’re ever going to hear from you again.It has felt like an eternity since you departed from our lives Rainbow, you don’t have an idea how harsh it has been for all of us. Especially for poor Pinkie Pie, she probably was the most afflicted. Her mane going straight these days is the decisive proof of it. She has continued smiling, being exuberant, and random like the old Pinkie we all know and love. But deep in her eyes, behind the smile, it’s no secret that there is great pain inside her.Three days have passed since your release from that mental hospital. Pinkie Pie had the wonderful idea to throw you a small welcome party this evening at 6pm. Only the six of us in the Ponyville outskirts where we always had our usual picnics. We apologize if it took a bit to get it started, these days have been unusually busy for everypony.But more than just welcoming you, we hope to earn your pardon, and reconcile our ever-lasting friendship that has been broken from our actions. We were blind enough to see that you only desired solitude, but we kept pushing you until you couldn’t take it anymore, and led our friendship to its ruin. We’re terribly sorry, we really are! We didn’t consider your feelings before we tried to help you... we were bad friends.If you choose not to go, we’ll completely understand it. I just hope Pinkie won’t take it too harshly.We know you are passing through a very hard time right now. What happened to Scootaloo… it has devastated you. While that tragedy is long past, it seems it was only yesterday when it happened for you. All of our condolences go to you dear friend.What I’m about to say right now, I think I speak for all of our friends and everypony who cares about you. We miss you so much, Rainbow Dash. You are a great part of our lives, and a true friend. We still love you, and we only hope for you to get better. Even if it means that we won’t see you anymore, so be it. Take care.Your best friendTwilight Sparkle

“No… you did nothing wrong… I was the bad friend… I was the one who turned my back on you girls,” said Rainbow in her dismay. Scootaloo remained at her side, hanging her head low as she watched her sister. Dash rubbed her forehead with a hoof, furious with herself. "I feel so stupid. All these years, I always thought—oh forget it, at least now I know the truth.”"Don't say that, sis," said Scootaloo reassuringly. "Nopony can blame you for anything.""Thanks for trying to cheer me up," replied Rainbow, forcing a grin as her eyes momentarily met Scootaloo's gaze, before she stared down at the floor again. "The rest of the girls... they must be in shock right now, darn it! And it's all because of me!"“It's not too late to redeem yourself, my dear subject,” said a familiar voice.“Princess Luna…” said Scootaloo and Rainbow in unison as soon as they saw the princess of the night entering the chamber.“Rainbow Dash, it is undeniable that your actions have lead you to severe consequences, like the poison you have so foolishly ingested,” stated Luna in a serious tone. “The Unicorn’s Lament... as you already know. Its potent toxin has already killed you once, and it won’t hesitate to do it again. You were resurrected thanks to the medics in Ponyville, but your body is still in critical condition. However, there is a way. Only by returning to the realm of the living will your physical body be fully healed.”“For real?" asked Rainbow, almost not believing it. "So what you’re saying is… I can still come back to life again?”“That is correct, my dear subject,” Luna nodded with a smile.Scootaloo gave her sister a small hit in the shoulder. “You see, Dashie? You can make things right again!” she exclaimed happily.With a bright flash of Luna’s magic, the three ponies were all teleported back into the luminous white cloud high in the night skies.“You still have the choice Rainbow Dash,” said Luna, “whether to live again, or pass on to the afterlife. But you must decide.”So this is it, Rainbow thought,were I to pass away, I don’t even want to think on the consequences that my best friends would deal with. They would be devastated, just as I was in my last years in life. I’m not going to let my fate repeat itself. I was brave enough to commit suicide, but I was cruel and a coward for leaving that kind of pain to my friends. I must make things right.“I… I…,” she stammered. “I don’t want to leave, I want to stay… with my irreplaceable best friends… Applejack… Fluttershy… Rarity… Pinkie Pie… and Twilight Sparkle. We have a broken friendship to fix, and lots of memories to build. Until the time arrives for each of us.”Luna glanced at her with a warm grin. “You have made the right decision, my dear.”With a relieved sigh, Scootaloo closed her eyes, and looked upon the vast universe manifesting itself above them. “I guess there’s no need for me to stay here any longer.”“Huh? What are you talking about?” asked Rainbow anxiously, she felt a lump in her throat. Because deep inside, she knew exactly what the answer was.“My time has long passed, Dashie. Now that I know you’ve made the right choice, I can finally rest in peace. I must be on my way to the afterlife,” she struggled to keep herself from crying, but an involuntary sob escaped  her mouth. “D—Don’t worry about me! Luna has told me how amazing that faraway paradise I’m heading is. I’ll be fine. I promise,” she couldn’t help but whimper.Rainbow Dash was crushed upon hearing those words, of all the awful things she had experienced, this was by far the worst feeling of all. Her voice struggled to speak as her eyes filled with tears of pain. “Why... why now? I knew we would part ways someday, but why does it have to be now!?”“Rainbow...”“No, I don’t want this! After five long years since I lost you, I finally get to see you. I can’t lose you again! I couldn’t stand it... not again. No! No! No!”“Rainbow Dash!”Scootaloo’s yell was loud enough to desist the rant from her big sister. Tears were flooding the filly’s cheeks, they fell down to the cloud nonstop. She shut her eyes with great suffering. “Please... don’t make this any harder for me than it already has to be,” she whispered in a cracking voice.When Rainbow noticed the agony she had inflicted on Scootaloo, she ran up to her and kneeled down. With a hoof she carefully wiped the filly’s tears, and gently lifted her chin. “Hey, look at me Scoot,” she slowly opened her tearful eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled like that. I didn’t mean to hurt you, you know I never would.”She sniffled, “And I’m sorry too.”“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Scootaloo.”“Yeah I do, I’m sorry it has to be this way. You’ve been through so much... and now this? I hate to put all this pain on you, sis. I hate to leave you like this. I—”She was silenced as Rainbow Dash placed a hoof in her mouth. “Heh, you kidding? This is entirely what I’ve been wishing for since the accident,” said Rainbow, smiling warmly. “To spend time with you one last time. You bet I’ll be sleeping with a smile on my face from here on!” she nuzzled Scootaloo’s cheek with her muzzle. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Scoot. Never forget that.”“Even more than your friends?”“Oh come on, are you really gonna make me choose? Please tell me you’re not making me do that.”Scootaloo laughed. “Haha I guess not.”They both shared a bit of an awkward silence before Rainbow Dash spoke up again. “Any idea of what that afterlife place looks like?”“I’m afraid not,” Scootaloo looked up into the night sky above. “Luna doesn’t have any clue either. To be honest, I’m a little nervous about it.”“I’m sure it can’t be anything bad. I mean, we’re already dead. What else could happen?”“I guess you have a point. But wherever it is I’m going, I’ll miss you so much, Dashie!”Scootaloo threw her forelegs around Rainbow Dash, letting out a sob. The two sisters held each other in a tight embrace for one last time. They cherished it, considering it would be the final moment they would spend together and see each other for a very, very long time.Dash’s gears turned as she remembered she was forgetting something, something very important she had to say and this was the only chance she would ever get. Three simple words that carried such a strong and powerful meaning, and that you wouldn’t say to just anypony. But only the dear ones you’ve held close in your life.After a deep exhale, Rainbow Dash knew she was ready.“I… I love you Scootaloo, my only and prized little sister.”Scootaloo’s eyes opened widely in astonishment, she seemed surprised for a second. But then, she smiled tearfully and hugged her tighter. “Heh, I never thought I would be hearing the ‘greatest flier in all of Equestria’ say those words,” she said playfully.“Huh?”“Oh just kidding with you! I love you too, Dashie.”Rainbow giggled for a bit, and smiled. They both kept the embrace unbroken for another long silent minute. In that time, all the happy moments they shared together in life replayed inside their minds. It was the Winsome Falls camping trip that had brought them closer, as it was the very first experience they shared together. They both owed so much to Applejack, Rarity and their siblings. If it weren’t for them, they probably would have never become what they are.Sisters.The life they spent together... it was an eternity so tender that would live forever inside their hearts. A crystal clear dream that Rainbow Dash would always treasure deep in her mind. Scootaloo and Rainbow slowly released from each other’s arms, as they both knew the separate paths that each would be taking.“Alright, Luna,” the filly sniffled. “I’m ready.”At the princess’ nod, her horn glowed with an arcane magical energy. It shrouded Scootaloo’s entire being in a mystical teal-colored mist, slowly lifting her soul high into the vast universe above where billions of stars make their home, where she would soon be arriving into the wonderful afterlife Luna had mentioned.Scootaloo’s eyes couldn’t look anywhere other than her sister Rainbow Dash, whose spirit remained behind. She waved a hoof, smiling widely. “Goodbye Dashie, take care! I’ll be cheering for you from up there when you become a full member of the Wonderbolts and every single one of your dreams comes true.” She momentarily turned her gaze away to wipe a tear that had slid down her cheek. “Say hello to my best friends Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Babs Seed for me, would you? Oh, and also tell them that their new cutie marks totally rock!”As much as it pained Rainbow Dash to see her sole little sister going away forever, she placed her best smile upon her face. “Will do! And remember this isn’t a farewell, but a see you later. I promise I’ll make you proud of me!” she exclaimed, waving her hoof, tears of joy and sadness filling her eyes.Afterwards, Scootaloo’s soul slowly disappeared from sight as it reached incredible heights. It was a deep bittersweet moment for Rainbow Dash, seeing her only sibling she’s ever had departing from her life. But she knew that Scootaloo would be finally resting in peace after the long five years her soul had remained in the spirit realm.As she kept gazing upwards at the beautiful night sky with a smile, Rainbow Dash mimicked the Pinkie Pie Promise as she recited it in her mind. Cross my heart. And hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye. She let out a giggle, knowing that she’d never performed it before.Suddenly, Rainbow’s attention was brought forth as she felt a friendly pat. Not looking back, she heard Luna’s gentle voice calling for her.“How are you feeling, Rainbow Dash?”Turning around, she replied with, “If you had asked me that two years ago like Princess Celestia did, the answer would’ve been completely the opposite from now. I feel free... absolved from everything. This is the kind of peace I truly craved for in the end,” she said soothingly.“It fills me with happiness hearing you say that.”“Can I ask you a question too Luna?” Rainbow looked at the princess.“Of course.”“How did you find out about this otherworldly magic of yours? You know... the spirit realm, talking with dead ponies’ souls, sending them to the afterlife. I don’t think it was on purpose.”The princess of the night remained silent for a moment, thinking on how to answer the question. “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, but this is knowledge that must never reach the world’s ears. I hope you understand.”Rainbow shrugged. “Sure, no probs,” she walked to the edge of the gorgeous cloud and gazed at the majestic scenery, her eyes darting to see Ponyville in the distance. “So, Scootaloo chose to remain in the spirit realm all these years... for me?”“Certainly,” Luna grinned, “I cannot force the deportation of souls to the afterlife if they don’t desire to. Scootaloo had the wish of seeing you once again before going away, but she didn’t expect it to be this way.” Rainbow Dash blushed a bit.“Luna…?”“Yes, dear?”“I cannot thank you enough, really, this experience I’ve lived through… it has taught me so many valuable things.”“Oh, is that so?” Luna smiled. “Mind if I hear your report about it?”“With pleasure!” Rainbow exclaimed positively as she bumped her hooves into the air. She cleared her throat, and began to speak the very lessons she has learned.“Dear Princess Luna, I couldn’t be happier to report what I’ve learned from this experience.At any given moment, we can all lose somepony we held close throughout our lives, but it’s no reason to remain all sad and gloomed about it, as they never would’ve wanted for us to suffer from their passing. Instead, we should be happy for the life we shared together, and remember all the good things they did for us. That way, the memories will keep them living in our hearts.I have also learned that your friends are the light shining bright in the dark, a light that never fades. Even when you’re feeling sad and lonely, a friend will always stay by your side, no matter what. They’ll cheer you up, lend you a helping hoof, and show you the warm smile that only a true friend is able to do, no matter how bad things can get.And the most important of all, I have learned how precious life is. When you’ve given up all hope, and desire to put an end to everything. Close your eyes, remember that you mean everything to your true friends and anypony who cares about you. They will be there for you, and they’ll do the impossible to make you smile again.”A single tear of joy streamed down from the princess’ eye when her subject finished their report. She spread her wings open, a huge smile had taken place in her expression. “Rainbow Dash, I commend you greatly for facing your fears at last. I can declare without boasting that you are the bravest mare I’ve ever met. You have made me so proud of you my dear subject. Now, close your eyes, and when you wake, you’ll rise into your cherished life once again. Sleep well, for the nightmares you’ve dreaded so long will haunt your pleasant nights no more.”“You’re a real pal, Luna,” said Rainbow coolly with a smile. “Maybe we should hang out someday when I come back to life.” Luna blushed with a grin easily visible, knowing that she’d made another true friend. “But before I go, how is everything going back in the hospital?”“Hmm, pressingly I’m afraid,” replied Luna troubled. “Your heart beatings are getting much closer to critical levels, I fear the medics will be announcing the grim news to your friends any second now. Like I said before, only by returning to the realm of the living will your body be healed. My magic has kept the portal open for you, but you must leave now.”“Whoops! There’s no time to waste then!” exclaimed Rainbow in haste. “Thanks again for everything, Luna. Catch you later!”And with those words spoken, Rainbow Dash did as she was told by the princess.~*~*~*~*~On any other night, Ponyville Hospital would be soothingly quiet, only the occasional hoofsteps resounding through the hallways as a doctor or nurse made their nightly rounds. However, this wasn’t one of those nights.A great part of Ponyville was gathered in the lobby room. The usual silence being broken by nervous whispers and hurried conversations, ponies that came to receive news from a long-gone pegasus who attempted suicide at Sweet Apple Acres.But the terror and concern of five friends surpassed every other pony’s feelings in the room.When the early hours of the morning arrived, almost everypony had given up and returned to their homes for so-desired sleep.As tired as they were, Rainbow Dash’s best friends didn’t give up and remained waiting for her in the lobby. They wouldn’t dare to take a step out of the building, not until they received news of her. Their eyelids were heavy as stone, but they wouldn’t allow themselves to fall asleep.They all sprang up from their seats and became fully awake when the white doors leading to the intensive care rooms slowly opened, Nurse Redheart emerging from within.“How is she nurse!?” Twilight Sparkle snapped, her friends standing beside her with worried expressions.We’ve used everything at our disposal, but Rainbow Dash won’t make it to see the morning. That’s what the nurse struggled to say, but no words came from her mouth.A simple shake of the head had told everypony what happened…Tears started leaking through their eyes. Left in shock, horrified, they didn’t want to accept it. How could anypony accept the demise of one of their most beloved friends?Pinkie Pie shut her eyes and bolted to the outside. Tears were falling from her cheeks as she ran. She dropped onto her knees, her eyes buried in her hooves, crying harder than she’s ever done before. She kept weeping her heart out as the rest of her friends tried their best to console her agonized wails at the early-morning sky.“Rainbow Dash… RAINBOW DASH! Why did you do it!? To do such a thing and leave your best friends behind!” she screamed at the top of her lungs as she cried furiously. Her next words came out in a cracking whisper. “We only wanted to help you… we tried to help you… even our friendship couldn’t save you… please… come home, Dashie...”“Then why don’t you look at me and see for yourself?”Astonished by the familiar voice that sounded faintly from behind, the weeps from the five ponies came to an end. They turned around and gazed upon the front gates of the hospital, hoofsteps of somepony making its way out of the building could be heard.A cyan-blue colored pegasus emerged from the hospital’s entrance doors. She looked uneasy and was unsteady on her hooves, she almost tripped on one occasion. She halted when she took a few steps out of the building.When Celestia’s morning sun shone upon Equestria once again, the radiant sunlight revealed something that nopony could believe at first. The five friends were speechless at the sight.Right before their eyes, it was Rainbow Dash standing some yards ahead of them, wearing the warm smile a true friend would always have upon their face, no matter how bad the situation can get.“Hey girls, what’s up?” said Rainbow coolly. “It’s been a pretty long time, don’t ya think?” Her friends however were utterly still, their brains trying to process everything. “Heh. What’s the matter, the cat got your tongue?”Pinkie Pie was the first one of the five friends who managed to take a few steps towards her long-gone friend. Pinkie’s jaw-dropping expression was evidently carrying joy and grief. A refreshing gust of wind carried her flattened pink mane to one side. She stared directly into Rainbow’s eyes, still trying to figure out if she wasn’t an illusion.“Rainbow… is it really you?” she said in a barely audible voice.“Yeah, Pinkie, it is me.”The last thing Rainbow Dash could see was a pink projectile heading straight at her with blinding speed before she felt the super-strong embrace of Pinkie Pie, her flattened mane returning to its poofy state.Nopony hesitated for a moment before throwing themselves into each others’ arms and embracing in a tight group hug. As much as Rainbow Dash tried to remain nice and calm, she was overwhelmed by happiness in seeing her best friends welcoming her with so much love. Tears of joy came down like a waterfall from everypony’s eyes. They could spend minutes together, even hours, and the six friends wouldn’t dare release from the embrace anytime soon.A warm and pleasant feeling filled the six ponies’ bodies, it was the fire of friendship igniting once more deep in their hearts. The tight bonds that kept them together could not be broken. A real everlasting friendship that would bring them neither sorrow or pain, and countless happy memories as they live.“I have returned, my best friends, and I’ll never abandon you ever again.” Rainbow Dash gazed high into the skies with a smile, remembering all the things she had gone through during the night. Perhaps none of it will escape from her lips. Maybe her friends will never know what really happened. But one thing was certain. She learned so much from her near-death experience, and was determined to accomplish what she vowed to her little sister Scootaloo.“I have a promise to fulfill.”