Yes, Another Human in Equestria Fic

by Squeaker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Human, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Angel
Length: 7360

A pony-crazy, fic-loving high school girl finds herself in Equestria, uninvited. What went wrong?

Hold onto your hooves: It’s a fic about a girl who loves fics of people getting sucked into Equestria, who wishes she could be sucked into Equestria, who writes a fic about a girl who gets sucked into her own fic and lands in Equestria, and is sucked into Equestria; T’is written by a girl who writes fics who wishes she could be sucked into Equestria. IT’S FIC-CEPTION! I’m sorry. -_-
I got bored and inspired one day and wrote this first ponyfic on a whim. Not sure where it's going, but I think if I have fun and nudge it along naturally, it will turn out well. ^^ Expect lots of edits and crazy happenin's, and please give me any suggestions. I hope many people will enjoy it.

Published 2012-02-23 03:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-04 06:50:34 UTC

Day the First

Before I tell you about the amazing thing that happened to me, I think it’s prudent to tell you a bit about myself. I’m a Scorpio, 17 years old, curly black hair, freckles (not the cute kind, like Applejack’s), creepily big eyes that look even bigger behind my awkward horn-rimmed glasses (my passed grandmother’s; my grandfather cries at my ingratitude if I so much as take them off to give the lenses a rub), and a life that seriously needs more pony.

And I love to read. Did I mention that I love to read? I love to write, too, which, fortunately, is by no means hindered by my addiction to ink on paper. I’ll read pretty much anything. Twilight Sparkle got nothing on me. The nutrition panel on a cereal box, Alzheimer’s awareness billboards, YouTube disclaimers, even those stupid, Photoshop-shmeared magazines in the checkout aisle of every grocery store that say “100 sex moves that’ll—”

*blush*

A-anyhay, I like to read. And that includes fanfiction. As you may have guessed, I’m a brony. Pegasister? Let’s not get into that now. Anyway, I’m a girl who likes My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfictions. I guess I could’ve said that at the beginning and you would’ve understood well enough. But I suppose I have to stall. My story is totally unbelievable, and I don’t know how to start…

I guess the beginning is a good place. It usually works that way.

I was sitting at my computer, flying through the latest chapter of my favorite running fanfiction, about a group of people who somehow travel through time and space and end up in Equestria. As the tension in the story grew, I kept a wary eye on the scrolling bar. It was getting suspiciously close to the bottom.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it, don’t do it, I begged. Heart pounding as the young heroine scrambled between the clutching flora of Everfree, I read faster, like it would keep the story from ending with—

DANG! A cliffhanger. I scoffed, in the style of a pony-snort. I stretched back in my spinny desk-chair and groaned… then yelped as the back of the chair suddenly popped off and sent me flying backwards. I landed with my feet in the air, mostly unhurt. Rainbow Dash flew in to save me in the nick of time. Or at least, in my wild flailing, I happened to grab the jumbo-plush that was sitting on my bed beside my computer and somehow got her under my head before I could give myself a concussion.

I knew that the proper thing to do would be to get up and fix my chair, or better yet ask Grampa or Dad to do it for me, but I didn’t feel like it. It was oddly refreshing to sit there with my heels in the air, head pillowed on downy wings, a plush cyan body, and a rainbow, polyester mane. I let myself pretend I really was cuddling with a pony. I wished I could be one of the characters in my favorite kinds of fanfictions, with real, breathing, furry ponies to hang out with. Even when I read My Little Dashie, I bawled through my tears that I wanted to switch places with the narrator. I stroked my close-as-I-could-get-Dash’s mane and sighed.

I think I’d been down there for about 20 minutes when my bedroom door unexpectedly opened, bonking first my little pony, then me on the head. I definitely should have gotten up sooner. I yelped, sitting upright, and clutched Dashie against me as I patted first her head, then my own to check for injury.

Once I was assured that all was well, I looked up. My mother stared at me, aghast. She’s never accepted with grace that her daughter is a pony-lover. I had long tried since my addition to the herd to get her to watch just one episode, but was met with resistance until I threw my hands up and yelled “Haters gonna hate, ponies gonna pwn!” much to her confusion and my exasperation. Sheesh, get a meme, Mom.

She finally just rolled her eyes. “You know better than to lie in doorways like that! Put that thing away and come eat lunch.”

I glared at her until she was out of sight, then stood, smoothed Dash’s mane, and set her (“That thing.” The very idea!) on my bed next to my similarly sized Twilight Sparkle. I have five of the mane six, all but Pinkie Pie. After straightening each of their manes, I stood my dismembered chair upright in its place and went out to the kitchen for lunch.

Trés surprise. Microwave pasta and green bean casserole. My family is not known for its kitchenly wiles. Even so, a six-foot-tall stack of parenting and happy family books that my mom has created over the years has made her quite certain that both the prevention of and cure to all disquiet in the home is eating meals together whenever possible. Unfortunately, neither she nor I are the best talkers, so until my father and grandfather join us at the table, all that we can safely bond over is an awkward silence. My relationship with my mom isn’t so great. It hasn’t precisely gotten better since she discovered that I am enamored with a show about multicolored ponies learning about friendship that was supposedly designed for girls half my own age or younger.

Sitting down and pulling my plate closer, I picked up my fork and poked the nuked casserole. I jumped when my mom cried out without warning. “Not yet! Wait for Dad and Grampa to sit down. You can be so rude.” My fork dropped with a clang of stainless steel on ceramic and I rolled my eyes. I hadn’t been hungry before, but once I had food under my nose my stomach started growling indignantly. What kind of cruel joke was she playing? After a few minutes my father tottered in, bleary eyed, and Grampa followed after him, shuffling over and into his old oak chair. When Grampa shuffles it means rain is coming. Or as he says, a rainbow. He’s pretty positive about the future; it’s the past that sometimes gets him down.

The second everyone’s plot had been planted, I started shoveling food into my mouth, keeping it full enough to make sure it was impossible for me to talk. My mother frowned but was hesitant to lecture me because my father was doing the same thing. After a moment’s thought, she scolded my father instead.

“Michael! Why are you in such a rush?”

He had cleared his plate of casserole in ten seconds flat, as it were. He stuffed a forkful of raviolis in his mouth, chewed thoughtfully for a moment, and swallowed. “Honestly, honey, I just want to go back to sleep.” Mom pouted, insulted by the suggestion that her cure-all family meal was less important than sleep to a man who worked nothing but night-shifts at a veterinary hospital. Poor Dad. He still had dog hair sticking to his own and band aids on his fingers, souvenirs of encounters with overly enthusiastic dogs and less-than-grateful cats.

Mom gave up on Dad for the time being and turned to me instead. “And what is your excuse, Lady Violet?” she snapped sarcastically.

My full name is Violet Rose Summers. My parents had both wanted a floral name but couldn’t choose between “violet” (my mom’s idea) and “rose” (my dad’s idea), so they flipped a coin and Violet became my first name and Rose my second. The Summers was just luck. I used to hate the ooey-gooey flowery sound of it until I became a brony; then I discovered that it sounds like a pony name.

I poked the entrails of a ravioli. “I wanted to finish reading some stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“I dunno. Whatever looks good.”

“Are you still reading those pony stories?”

“Pony fanfictions. Yes.”

“You are too. Old. For that kind of thing. At your age you should be looking at colleges and womp womp womwom womp,” she complained on and on, and I tuned her out. I’d heard it all before. To quote Pinkie Pie: “Boooooorin~g!”

To the rest of my family, me being a brony wasn’t a big deal. To Grampa I was still a little girl anyway, so he was fine with it. When I told my dad, he just said absently “I used to have a little pony when I lived out in the country, when I was a kid. His name was Blazer. Because he had a blaze—you know, on his nose?” Dad even tried to watch a couple episodes with me, though he fell asleep about five minutes into each one. I didn’t nag him about it like I nagged Mom; he really was tired, and I was grateful that he had at least tried. But mom was stubbornly keeping her mind fixated on the older generations of My Little Pony that she had seen in her younger days, which are of course fine in their own way as far as children’s cartoons go, but not as dynamic and appealing, (in my humble opinion, of course) as my dear FiM. No matter what I tried to say to her they were just kid shows, all one and the same. But, listening to her mocking fanfiction was annoying in a slightly different way. I had half a mind to turn off the maturity filter and leave my browser open on some random shipping fic, or better yet, Cupcakes, just to get her to think twice.

So I sat there, inhaling my food and ignoring my mom as best I could (Dad still beat me to the finish and lumbered back to bed) as she nagged and woe-is-me-for-my-daughter-is-a-weirdo’d. After a while I started to get irritated and all of a sudden something inside me triggered the lie to become truth that led to the entire disaster and delectation that was to come in the next few days. I don’t know where it came from. Maybe I had been toying with the idea in my subconscious for a while and that instinctive, rebellious teenage part of me placed it front and center in my mind because it knew I was just itching to cheese my mother off. Maybe I just had a brain fart. In any case, I swallowed my last bite, looked her in the eye, and said:

“I’m doing it for research. I want to write a story, too, and I’m looking for good techniques so I can do it right.” The second the words were out of my mouth, I thought to myself I say, that’s quite the nice idea!

Mom stared at me. “Y-you want to what?”

“Write a story. I like it. Bronies are a talented bunch.” She winced at my addressing of myself as a brony. “I’ve already learned a lot. I got this.” I picked up my plate and scraped the remainder of my meal into my mouth, taking advantage of my mom’s temporary speechlessness as she thought that over.

“B-but, it’s not like you’re going to get any money for it or anything. Why don’t you write some scholarship essays with what you’ve learned?”

“Pssssh, please.” I pushed myself back from the table and loped back toward my room. “There’s more to life than money. Like ponies.”

“You excuse yourself from the table before you leave! MICHAEL! Are you hearing what your daughter is saying?”

“Can’t hear you,” he called back from their bedroom. “I’m asleep.”

I was too busy escaping to drop to the floor to laugh, and when I got to my room I picked up the back of my chair and dropped the post back into its place, twisting the screws back in their proper holes with my fingers. I’d ask Dad to fix it when he woke up.

“That’ll do it for now,” I muttered. Plopping my butt in the chair, I scooted up to my computer desk, cracked my knuckles, and opened a new document. I knew exactly what I wanted. Another human-in-Equestria fic. Full of awkward explanations, crushed clichés, and perfectly safe cupcakes. I put my game face on and went to work.
***

After a while I stopped typing to stretch my fingers. I was developing a twitcha-twitch in my thumb from pressing the spacebar. I wiggled my thumbs and arced my back, stretching over the back of my chair and listening wryly to the pops my too-young-to-be-popping spine made in protest. Then suddenly, IT happened. The back of my chair disconnected again and I started to fall backward. My arms ineffectually waved about in a panic as I went down. Rainbow Dash was too far away to save me this time. I was just thinking Darn it, I want a new desk chair next Christmas when I suppose I hit the floor, and saw a soft flash of lilac light before I could see nothing more.
***

You know the feeling that one has after a dream in which one is falling? You are plummeting, surely about to be gravely injured or worse, and just upon the breath-taking, crushing impact, you wake up, winded but alive and well and perhaps just a wee bit disoriented? THAT was what it felt like to land in Equestria.

I was still cringing and flailing and holding my breath when I fully came to. The feel of the lumpy corpse of my chair’s backing beneath me was gone and I was confused. After another moment I finally let myself inhale and flailed for a second longer before freezing, taking in my surrounding through all my senses but sight.

Okay, I thought. One step at a time.

Touch. I am clearly on something dusty and firm, probably dirt, because I can feel it getting into my shorts and up my T-shirt.

Taste. I opened my mouth and inhaled, concentrating on the qualities of the air that went over my tongue. Fresh air. It isn’t stagnant enough to be the air from home, and it sure isn’t choking enough to be the air from any place outside my house and in my city, or even the whole state.

Smell. It smells… woody. But clean. Like a campground after a little rain and before anypony has set up a campfire and gotten everything smelling like smoke.

Sound. Bird song. Or rather bird alarms. At this point, my best guess is that I have somehow ended up in their forest uninvited and disrupted their daily routine. Whatever that is for birds.

So. Everything is weird, I concluded. I decided to just open my eyes. What harm could it do, right?

Well. Sweet flippin’ Celestia’s mane.

Cracking one eye open, I squinted at the sunlight that was filtering through the boughs and leaves above me. I blinked a couple of times, vision adjusting. So far so good. Still weird, but so far so good. I opened the other eye…

…to find a pair of wide, aqua colored eyes and a twitching, cream colored muzzle pointing back at me. I stared for a moment, turned away to rub my eyes, and turned back again.

The little yellow Pegasus pony’s eyebrows were drawn together with concern.

“Oh, you poor little creature! Though I’ve never seen an animal like you before… That was quite a fall, wasn’t it? Are you all right?”

All right? Once I had been winded, and perhaps in a little bit of shock, but now... huzzah! Or should I say, *yay*! I was healed! A miracle!

I popped into the air as if propelled by rockets in the earth and flung myself forward, squealing: “FLUTTERSHY!!!”

Of course, that was a mistake.

At the first shouted syllable (“Flut”) she jumped into the air herself, wings flared and flapping in a panic. At the second syllable (“ter”) she had turned tail and started to gallop off in the opposite direction. And at the third syllable (“shy”) her poor little legs froze up, her wings clamped to her sides, and she fell to the forest floor with a “clump.” As I watched, transfixed and guilt-stricken, she slowly rotated through no effort of her own to a back on the ground, legs stiff and upright, position. Her eyes were wide open, but unseeing and twitching. I sat and stared at her for what I think must have been about 5 minutes before I overcame my awe, delight, and guilt enough to realize that I may have actually given her a seriously harmful scare. Oh crap.

I crawled over to her, muttering to myself. “Pleeeease, oh please oh please. God, tell me I didn’t break the Fluttershy.” When I reached her I peered down into her face the way she must have been peering into mine before I’d so rudely given her the fright of her life. I waved a hand in front of her face. “Um, Fluttershy?” No response. Gently poking her flank, I pushed her over until she was lying on her side, then removed my finger and watched with alarm as she slowly returned to her stiff-leg-upright position again, like one of those annoying toys that wobble but don’t fall down. I waved a hand in front of her again frantically. “F-Flutters?? Are you okay??”

She didn’t move, but she did make a tiny noise that was something to the effect of “heemee~ee!”

I was flabbergasted. I hopped to my feet and ran about in circles. All delight at finding myself in Equestria for no apparent reason was completely eclipsed by the fact that I seemed to have scared one of my favorite little ponies into a coma. Realizing that I was being useless, I quickly stopped my pacing and looked around, straining for a glimpse of something that would help Fluttershy. I could see, through a tiny break in the trees, a flash of light off of a pane of glass: a window in the wall of Fluttershy’s cottage. I trotted back to the downed Pegasus and gave one more helpless shot at snapping her out of it by waving my hands about, then tucked my arms under her and scooped her up.

She was so light I almost dropped her. She was certainly barely heavier than the jumbo plush in her own likeness that was sitting on my bed at home. I adjusted her position so that the feathers of her wings were not twisting the wrong way. Maybe she’s so close to being weightless because a Pegasus needs hollow bones, like a bird's, I mused. Then of course, there was always magic…

I stared down at her, contemplating that for a second before I realized that Pegasi anatomy trivia was not of the least importance at the time.

Turning around, I ran out of what I had by then figured out were the outskirts of the Everfree Forest and made my way clumsily toward Fluttershy’s home.

After I had made my way over the bridge and past a small stampede of frightened animals, I found that Fluttershy’s door was unlocked and fairly flew up the stairs to put her into her bed. I tucked her in firmly to make sure she was lying in a somewhat natural position and took a step back, unsure what to do next.

Every 30 seconds or so, she would suddenly give a twitch or squeak that would give me hope, but she unfailingly returned to her frozen state each time. Returning to pacing about, I waved my hands in panic. Eventually, I stopped and covered my face with my hands, about to cry.

Of course, the best thing to do would've been to go into Ponyville and find some of Fluttershy’s friends, or maybe a doctor or nurse (looking at cutie marks ought to get me close enough to finding somepony with medical experience) but I had no doubt that going into town out of the blue would probably raise more questions than we had time to find answers for.

So what am I supposed to do now?? I rubbed my eyes and suddenly felt a tap on the toe of my foot (which was still covered by nothing but socks, by the way). Glancing down, I found myself looking into the stern eyes of…

“ANGEL—” I caught myself. “—Bunny!” I needn’t’ve bothered. Made of tougher stuff than his owner, he just crossed his little arms and glared up at me. I dropped to a crouch, looking down at him excitedly. “Angel! You can understand me, right? I need you to help me! Can you go into Ponyville and—”

Before I could enlist the little creature to help me help Fluttershy, Angel suddenly turned about, took hold of something that was behind his back and spun back around to stab me in one of my sock feet with a carrot.

While a ripe-for-the-nibbling carrot doesn’t really count as a deadly weapon, it still hurt like the dickens and I yelped and flinched away, hopping on my uninjured foot as Angel chased after me, waving his carrot about like an orange sword. I slipped…

…and fell down the stairs, clunking my head or butt against every other step on the way. When I finally landed on the first floor, a fluffy brown kitten screeched at me, scratched me on the nose, and dashed to hide behind Angel, who stood protectively in front of the stairway, thumping the carrot against his little paw like a billy club.

I raised a hand to my pounding head, touched my nose gingerly, then inspected my hand. I was bleeding. At the sight of my blood on the outside of my body, my brain instantly told my nose to start hurting, and it throbbed obediently.

I winced painfully. “OH ffffffponyfeathers!” I sat up and started to scoot toward the still-open door on my butt, preferring to take my chances in Ponyville rather than risk another shot at engaging Angel’s assistance, when I heard a shouted battle cry coming from outside. I turned around wearily and found myself face to face with Rainbow Dash, who unreservedly gave me a full body tackle to the stomach, sending both of us flying backward and bonking my head against the far wall.

I stared up at the spinning room as Rainbow pinned me down, a forehoof on each of my shoulders, and an angry cyan snout thrust into my face. Sweet Celestia’s mane, what in the world have I done? I thought absently.

“Who are you!?!” the furious Pegasus demanded. She was much more muscular, and therefore much heavier, than Fluttershy, and was quite capable of keeping me on the ground. “Who are you working for? What have you done to Fluttershy?!”

My head had almost stopped spinning, and I attempted to focus on her face. I partially succeeded, but for some reason there were two Rainbow Dashes.

I squinted. “Grampa was right. And it’s a double Rainbow,” I told her. Then I blacked out.

Annnd, that concludes the events of my first day in Equestria. Are you jealous yet?

Some 'Splainin' is Done

The first sound to make itself clear again was my heartbeat. After a moment, a few voices started to rise between each beat, but they were muffled and indistinguishable from one another.

B-thmp… it eats… b-thmp… where did… b-thmp… you okay, Fluttersh…

Suddenly, with a brief whooshing noise, the sounds started to come to my ears more clearly and I listened with bemusement, still dazed and unable to move.

“… Fluttershy?”

“Y-yes… I’ll be fine.”

A strong country twang sidled in. “Lucky for you ol’ Rainbow flew in in time to save ya, sugar cube. All kinds of dangerous critters live in the Everfree Forest, and I don’t reckon I’ve ever heard of one like this. Who knows what it was gonna do with you?”

“Um, actually, I don’t think it’s from the—”

A door slammed somewhere and frantic hoofbeats cut Fluttershy’s already low voice down to nothing. “I’m back! I checked every book in the library that might have information on bipedal, hairless creatures, but I couldn’t find anything like… whatever this is.”

“Who cares what it is? Let’s boot it back into the Everfree where it belongs!” Rainbow Dash snapped.

“Um, I-I was saying, I don’t think it lives in the Everfree—”

“Fluttershy?” Twilight cut in, not even noticing that the Pegasus was speaking. “You said that she spoke to you, right?”

“Well, um, yes. At least, I think so… it was more like shouting, and I think it said… um…”

“If she talked earlier, she’ll probably be willing to talk to us when she wakes up; let’s wait a little longer and—”

“Hold it!” I felt a rhythmic pulse of air start to flow over me as Rainbow hovered above my still unmovable body. “’She?’ What makes you think it’s a mare?”

“Oh,” Twilight said in surprise. “I don’t know. But if it… she can talk, it seems a little rude to refer to a sentient—“

“Rude? It scared the ever-loving hay out of Fluttershy and you don’t want to be rude?”

Rarity’s dulcet voice broke in suddenly. “Now Rainbow, darling, just because one has been done a wrong turn it doesn’t mean one is required to respond in kind. Twilight is quite right. But, er… we don’t know what gender this creature is, do we?”

“Well, let’s just check then,” Rainbow snapped.

“Rainbow!” Twilight sounded exasperated and maybe a little embarrassed. “You can’t just go and… look at somepony you just met to—”

“It ain’t a pony, though, Twilight,” Applejack pointed out.

Rainbow Dash landed with a soft bump on the ground beside me. “Exactly. There’s no harm in checking; it’s not like we’re gonna offend anypony.”

“But—“

“Here, help me take off its clothes. Where was it that needed to be all dressed up anyway?”

“Rainbow Dash, simply wearing clothes is not the same thing as ‘dressing up,’” Rarity scolded gently.

“Dressing up, shmeshing up, just help me.” I felt a tug at one pants leg. Wait, what? I thought blearily.

“Wait a moment, Rainbow, take off its shoes first,” Rarity said helpfully.

“Shoes?” Twilight trotted closer. “Those are the oddest shoes I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, they must be shoes, mustn’t they? What else would they be?” Rarity sounded puzzled herself. Ponies in socks? I thought. “In any case, they’re filthy and they tracked dirt all over Fluttershy’s cottage. Though with all the animals here it’s a wonder it was so clean in the first place.”

Rainbow had pulled off one of my not-really-socks, and paused in her ginger pawing at the other. “’It’ the cottage or ‘it’ this thing?”

“The cottage.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, just look already,” Twilight sighed.

Both my socks were gone. My suddenly cold feet twitched. I felt Rainbow grip one ankle of my sweatpants in her mouth. “Give me a hoof, somepony,” she mumbled through the fabric.

Hold on a second…

“I’ve got it,” Twilight muttered. There was an unaccompanied tug (which I later learned was magic) on the other leg. “Ready?”

“On three. One…”

“Two…”

“Three—“

In less than a millisecond I figured out what was going on, and for the second time in two days, I popped up with a shout. “WOAH, HOLD YOUR HORSES FOR A MINUTE!” Grabbing the knees of my pants I looked about frantically as everything fell into place. I didn’t have much of a chance to get my bearings, though, because I almost immediately found myself dangling in the air upside-down. I blinked, swinging about in confusion.

Rainbow Dash had reared up on her hind legs and was tensed to jab a hoof in my direction. Flicking my eyes around, I recognized the pale violet aura of Twilight’s magic surrounding me. Glancing back down, I met Rainbow’s suspicious gaze again.

“What did you say?” With a quick snap of her wings she was hovering at eye level with me. “You are in no position to be giving orders… uh… THING!”

“Um, I am a mare, by the way. I mean, a filly. No, just 'girl' is fine,” I babbled.

Rainbow shoved her snout into my face, magenta eyes intense. “THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT! WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA DO TO FLUTTER—“

“Stop!” Rainbow Dash turned away in surprise at the protest. Though it couldn’t really be called shouting, Fluttershy had mustered up enough volume for everypony to hear her over Rainbow Dash’s rant. “Please, can everypony please stop yelling!” Peering down myself, I immediately felt guilty again. Fluttershy was crouched on the ground with her hooves over her ears and eyes.

Rainbow hovered for another minute then dropped to the ground next to her friend. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

“Um, me, too,” I mumbled. Everypony looked up at me as I managed to release my grip on my sweats and offered a placating wave. “F-first thing, I’m really sorry about all this trouble. I didn’t mean to scare anypony, and especially not you, Fluttershy. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, and I promise, no more shouting.” They all stared at me silently. Starting to get a headache I waved my hands about in the appropriate motions as I Pinkie Promised. “I’m not here to cause trouble or hurt anypony. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my—ouch…” I rubbed my eye ruefully and blinked down at Twilight pleadingly. “So, um, could you let me down please?”

“Well, it’s not that we don’t want to,” Twilight began. “It’s just that… well, we’ve never seen anything like you before. We’ve no way of knowing if we can trust you.”
Applejack spoke up again. “And did you just… use Pinkie’s…”

“I was thinking the same thing!” Rarity exclaimed.

“And, um, earlier…” Fluttershy was barely audible once again, but we were all subdued enough to listen to her this time. “…earlier… I was saying… how did you know my name?”

Rainbow’s eyes widened. “Wait, what?” She stared up at me. “How in the hay do you know all this stuff?”

“I swear I’m not a spy,” I said plaintively. “But I know how this looks, and I’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.”

We all fell silent again.

“Well, we’re listening now!” Twilight said with forced cheerfulness.

“Yeah, I know. But can you at least turn me right-side up? I think I’m about to faint again.”

The fur on her cheeks turned pink. How does that even work? my mind somehow had the frivolity to wonder. “O-of course. So sorry.” The Unicorn gently swiveled me upright and my stomach churned at the application of magical pressure it was never going to get used to.

“Urp…” I swallowed and took a deep breath to begin, but fell to coughing before I got a word out. My throat was bone-dry. Everypony was looking up at me expectantly. Fluttershy seemed to have disappeared. “Sorry,” I croaked. “How long was I out?”

“Just a few hours,” Twilight replied. “I guess you would be thirsty though. Um, how about—“

She paused as Fluttershy trotted back in with her eyes on the ground and a tray with a cup of juice balanced on her head. Stopping next to Twilight, she lowered the tray to the ground. “I was thinking the same thing. R-Rarity, do you mind?”

“Oh, of course not, darling,” Much to my delight, the white Unicorn levitated the teacup and raised it up to my level without spilling a drop.

Too thirsty to remember my manners, I grabbed the cup away from the blue aura surrounding it and gulped it down loudly. My eyes widened at the delicious, cool taste. “Apple juice?”

“O-oh, is that alright? I mean, I can get you something else if you don’t like it, I just thought—“

“Nonono, it’s really good! Really, I love apple juice!” She looked relieved. “Thank you, Fluttershy. And you too, Rarity.” I paused, thinking, as I turned the cup upside down and tilted my head backward, trying to get every last drop into my parched mouth. “And thanks, Applejack. This is from your orchards, isn’t it?”

“Uhh… most likely. Now, I think we all would like to know how in the world ya know all our names and such.”

“R-right. You guys might as well all sit down. This might take a little bit.”

They all sat, looking more perturbed than they had since I’d come to. “Okay, um, let’s see… I’m from a place called Connecticut, on a planet called Earth.” I peered down expectantly, hoping for a reaction. Twilight nodded once as if she understood, but everypony else just kept frowning up at me. Hmm; I’ll have to see what they know about it later, I thought absently. “There, the main inhabitants aren’t ponies, they’re people like me. Humans.” I paused and watched with interest as Twilight produced a quill and notebook from her saddlebags and began to take detailed notes. “Um… the reason I know so much about all of you is um… kind of weird to explain.” Hesitating, I realized that I didn’t have a tactful explanation tucked into either sleeve. “So, I guess, uh, I’ll just say it then.”

But I didn’t say it. I just bobbed in midair silently and fidgeted, crossing my legs and balancing my empty cup on my knee as everypony stared at me.

“Well, are you gonna say it or what?” Rainbow finally snapped, growing impatient.

“Yeah, I guess I have to.” Running a finger over the rim of the cup, I gnawed my lip uncomfortably for another second. “There’s this show… that we watch. Well, some of us, not everyone likes it—anyway, the show is about… Equestria.”
Nopony spoke and I let it sink in. I suppose that if an alien had teleported into my house and told me it and its cohorts had been watching me without my knowledge, I would have been a bit disturbed too.

“’About Equestria,’ you said?” Twilight seemed to be having difficulty balancing interest and nervousness.

“Yeah, something like that. More specifically, it’s about… the Elements of Harmony. All you ponies,” I clarified, gesturing vaguely at the mares assembled below me, unable to look at them. There was a soft “oo-ooh!” and a thud as Rarity fainted in typical fashion on Fluttershy’s couch.

“But…” Applejack sounded properly disbelieving. “How is that possible?”

“And you swore you weren’t a spy,” Rainbow Dash was muttering, but even she was subdued.

“Well, I mean, I’m not really. It’s not like I was on a mission or anything like that. In fact, the general consensus is that Equestria—“ snapping my mouth shut I realized what I was about to say, I looked up at the ceiling and touched it with one finger distractedly.

“Equestria what?” Twilight prompted.

“Er… Equestria is… fictional.”

Twilight dropped her quill as Rainbow snorted and stamped a hoof. “That’s stupid.”

“Sorry. Some ponies—people—humans… I don’t even know what I’m trying to say,” I sighed, covering my face with my hands. “Anyway, I’m one of the ones who follow the show and since it covers each of you, I know some stuff about each of you.”

“What’s the name of this show?” Twilight had recovered and had her quill at the ready again. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“No, I guess you have a right to know… it’s called…” I trailed off and my eyes shifted about embarrassedly. What I feel no shame in saying to members of my own species suddenly felt excruciatingly awkward. “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”

Once again we all sit in silence, then Rainbow Dash slowly responded. “Your little pony?”

“No, no, not mine. ‘My.’ ‘My Little Pony.'”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, we don’t say ‘your little pony’ it’s ‘My Little Pony.’”

The blue Pegasus was at eye level with me again with one snap of her wings. “Well if we aren’t yours,” she began in a mocking, sarcastic tone, “then just who’s little ponies are we, huh?!”

I shrugged in full meme fashion and shook my head frantically. “I honestly have no idea. You’re all your own ponies, right? Nopony is anypony’s…” I got confused. Who’s ponies were they in the first place? That’s a Gen 1 question I don’t even know if I care about the answer to. “It’s just the name of the show, okay? I didn’t come up with it.”

Rainbow scoffed and returned to the ground.

“Sooo, this show,” Twilight piped up, trying to diffuse the situation. “Exactly what kind of information on us has it given you?”

“Well… let’s see… I know all of your names of course—I mean, the names of the Elements of Harmony. You’re Twilight Sparkle, the prized pupil of Princess Celestia—“ (her cheeks pinked again) “—who represents the Element of Magic. The Unicorn on the couch—is it normal for her to stay out this long?”

“She’s fine,” Applejack assured me.

“… is Rarity; she runs the Carousel Boutique, and she’s the Element of Generosity. Applejack, you run Sweet Apple Acres with Granny Smith and your siblings Big Macintosh and little Applebloom, and you’re the Element of Honesty.”
AJ’s eyes widened at the mention of her family and she scuffed the ground with a fore hoof uncomfortably.

I bit my lip and moved on. “Um, Fluttershy, you know that I know your name already. Sorry about that.” She made a small noncommittal noise, hiding behind her mane a little. “You love animals and you represent Kindness. You showed it really well when you gave me that drink earlier, even though I scared you.” She gave me a tiny nod. “And you, Rainbow Dash.” Hoping to smooth over our earlier encounters, I didn’t hesitate to lay it on thick. “Are the fastest flyer in all of Equestria, and the only pony know to have pulled of the legendary Sonic Rainboom, not once but twice, and your Element is Loyalty. Also, most everypony who watches the show would tell you that you make the whole thing at least 20% cooler.”

“’Cooler?’” Twilight echoed. I was tempted to tell her (with all the love in my heart, of course) that she made the show at least 20% more adorkable, but I wasn’t sure we were on good enough terms for that to come across well and kept my mouth shut.

Rainbow had automatically puffed up a bit in pride, smiling and chuckling smugly. “Well, maybe some of you weirdo humans do know some things about Equestria,” she allowed. While I only gave her a polite nod, inwardly I was patting myself on the back. Makin’ friends LIKE A FAUST.

Glancing around, I made sure I hadn’t missed anypony. “And, um, there’s one more of you… the sixth Element, Laughter. And her name is, um, P-Pinkie Pie. She’s, well, pink, works at a bakery for the Cakes, and she likes to party. Where is she, anyway?”

“There’s some kinda weddin' in Canterlot that the Cakes hafta to cater this evenin'.” Applejack responded. “Pinkie’s still at the bakery makin’ up the rest of the chow.”

“Oh, I see…” It had seemed odd that the pony of party had not been here to greet me, uninvited guest or not. “And that’s all for the Elements of Harmony. There are some other char—um, ponies in the show that we know names of too. Lily; Rose; Daisy; Trixie; Princess Luna; Derpy. We even know about some of the celebrations you have here in Equestria, and the ones that I’ve heard of seem to have some kind of equivalent for our world: Hearth’s Warming; Hearts and Hooves Day; Nightmare Night.”

“You say your world has similar holidays?” Twilight was simply enthralled by this onrushing of new information. “What do you call them where you come from?” Her poised quill trembled in her magical grasp in her excitement.

“What? Um… let’s see—“

“Twi, can that kinda question wait ‘til later?” Applejack interrupted.

“Wh-what? Oh, ah, you’re absolutely right.”

Rainbow took flight again and hovered in front of me. “Yeah, I mean we haven’t gotten to the point yet,” she reminded me impatiently, but the aggression had left her voice. She looked me square in the eye. “Just how do we know we can trust you?”

I met her gaze steadily for a moment, then blinked, realizing I had nothing. “Well, you can’t, I guess, until… you get to know me.” Understandably, she was not quite satisfied with this response and continued to bob in front of me, frowning. “I mean, trust has to be earned, right?”

“But of course it does!” Rarity had recovered and was brushing out her mane with a brush produced from her saddlebags. “But, when, darling…” She stashed the brush away, mane restored to its curly purple glory. “…are we to learn we can trust you? After all, we can’t just let Twilight keep you up there for as long as it takes to really get to know you.”

Twilight blinked, having apparently let this fact slip her mind.

“Of course not, but… really, think about it.” I look Rainbow in the eye again, knowing she would be my best ally on this point. “Just one pony—and a bunny—,” I added quickly, noticing Angel perched on Fluttershy’s back and frowning up at me, “—got me under control in about ten seconds flat. Really, you could take worse risks.” Also, at this point, the lack of solid ground under my feet had left me feeling slightly ill. I wanted very badly to return to the floor.

We all sat or hovered in silence for a moment, then Rainbow snorted and glanced down at Twilight. “Yeah, it’s—I mean, she’s right, you know. If she tries anything, I think I could handle it.” Despite the light threat, her tone was casual and her words seemed to be genuine.

Twilight stared up at me for another moment, then very gently lowered me to the floor of the cottage. Grabbing the teacup from my knee before it could fall and break, I eagerly stretched my legs toward the advancing wooden planks, ready to be back on solid—

VERY SOLID GROUND.

My knees buckled, and I pitched forward, flailing wildly, and face planted in the most inelegant manner possible. The sensation was extremely similar to the one that accompanied the recollection of my land-legs after a failed fishing trip with a friend. Come to think of it, the trip had failed because boats made me similarly sick. After letting myself lie for a several seconds, watching the teacup I had lost hold of spin, I sat up, head whirling, and swayed from side to side, disoriented. Then, I jumped at the sound of unabashed, hysterical laughter. I looked up woozily to see Rainbow guffawing at me.

Rarity and Twilight glared up at the Pegasus. Rarity scolded her. “Rainbow Dash! What if she’d been hurt?”

She covered her mouth with her hooves, holding in giggles. “Sorry…!”

The image was full of so much d’aww that my fingers automatically twitched for a screenshot. Grinning up at her, I waved the concerns away. “Don’t worry about it; I’m fine. Go ahead and laugh if you want.” She did so, flopping onto her back on the couch and cackling at my lack of grace.

Managing to find my feet, I straightened my clothes, dusted myself off, and extended a hand toward Twilight. She blinked, tilting her head.

“You know that I know who you are, but I just realized that I never introduced myself properly.” The purple Unicorn’s mouth popped open and she gasped.

“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even think to ask! I am so, so sorry! You’re absolutely right!” She cleared her throat and raised a hoof. “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

Beaming, I curled my hand into a fist and held it out. “My name’s Violet Rose. Violet Rose Summers.”

She smiled back at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Violet. I hope we can be good friends!” She gave my fist a hoof-bump.

Oh. My. Gawd. I don’t even know what I thought I was going to tell my bronies back home.