Equestrian Goldblum

by Matthew Penn

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Human
Length: 6187

Actor Jeff Goldblum is sent to Equestria to stop the end of the world.

Equestria is in mortal danger. Beings from among the stars have chosen to colonize their world, while ferocious beasts from another dimension wreak havoc on their land. In desperate need of help, Saturn-award winning actor Jeff Goldblum is sent to Equestria to save the world. Now he must put his skills as a hero to the test if he is willing to prevent pony Armageddon.

(Please comment and critique)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-22 16:54:10 UTC

Two Worlds, One Destiny

Earth.  A world filled to the brim with diverse forms of life.  A world that, at the very beginning of time, pulled the longest straw in the cosmic game of chance.  A planet that was once a chaotic, hellish environment, now an oxygen filled, water-based paradise.  Billion years of continental formation and evolutionary leaps shaped the planet into a force to be reckon with.  Seated on the perfect spot of the solar system, the blue celestial sphere makes its yearly travel around the glowing, fiery orb that is the sun.

The planet’s inhabitants, the equine species, have overtime become the dominant force on the planet.  Ruled by a duo of benevolent alicorn princesses, they have proven themselves to be the most versatile organisms the world had ever known.  Evolution had divided the equines into three distinct classes: Earth, Pegasi, and Unicorn - each with their own unique ability and skill.  The Earth ponies are the great laborers of the land.  The pegasi control the sky and weather.  The unicorns use magic to perform the tasks neither the earth nor pegasi could do.  All three classes work together for the good of their prosperous nation.

Princesses Celestia and Luna, the ruling sibling duo of the Kingdom of Equestria, reign over their land with love and kindness.  Over the course of one hundred years, two more alicorns had risen.  Princess Mi Amore Cadenza; who along with her husband rule over the glorious Crystal Empire and Twilight Sparkle; personal protege for the solar princess.  These four alicorns represent the strength and unity Equestria, and by larger extent the entire inhabitants of the planet, strive toward.

However, deep within the edge of the blackness of the universe, the wonderful life nourishing planet is nothing more than a pale blue speck on the cosmic canvas that must be removed.  Overlooking the distant planet from their own world, the extraterrestrial beings cast their envious eyes at the thriving planet.  Their only solution is annihilation.

On that day, the star-filled blanket of space was the stage for the mobilization of the alien race.  Ships, carriers, attackers of all kinds rallied their forces for the coming invasion.  The Earth - and her children - was about to be their own.  The war is about to begin.

****

Meanwhile in another dimension, one where time had forgotten exist, and chaotic landscape of earthquakes and volcanos ruled over the native planet.  This earth is much different from Earth-Prime.  Instead of intelligent equines, Earth is ruled by a species of ancient reptiles from 65 million years ago.  These beasts towered over the tallest of buildings of the modern era.  Not only are the reptilians were regarded as the giants of old, but they were skilled practitioners of the hunt; their only instinct is that of survival.

They were the dinosaurs, thought to be extinct for millions of years.  Some crawled on the earth, others soared across the air.  Unlike the ponies, these beasts did not live in harmony.  Everyday was a conflict for food and dominance.  The smaller ones would never stand a chance against the likes of a velociraptor.  With their speed and agility, they could almost win the battle of the beasts.

But in the Cretaceous period, there could be only one victor.  One that stood above the rest; one that would prove to be the most fearsome creature beyond imagination.  It was the Tyrannosaurus, and as its name implies, it was the ruthless dictator of that time.  Cold, unfeeling, and unnaturally evil, the King of All Beasts roared as it has captured another prey.  Its loud victorious cry let the other ones know who will always be the top of the food chain.

Unbeknownst to the living fossils, their world and their existence was approaching death’s door.  Their version of earthly paradise was on a collision course with a rogue planetary object.  If it makes impact, all life on the young planet would be no more.  It would be the largest extinction event never recorded.  As the dinosaurs are all but intelligent, they could do nothing to change the situation.  Their days were numbered.  Their fate was sealed.

The final days of the old reptiles was upon them.  As the days slowly passed, the dinosaurs did not noticed that the usual yellow sky was turning blood red.  A black circular object slowly descended from the sky, causing dramatic changes to the weather.  The rainstorms became fierce, causing floods and drowning the lesser beings.  The nights were long and cold, while the days were short and extremely hot.  Any living creature caught outside were instantly killed from the elements.  Not even the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex with all its glory could not escape from the coming apocalypse.

Meanwhile, a velociraptor was chasing down its prey.  The prey ran as fast as the wind, trying desperately to evade the prospect of being dinner.  Unfortunately for the dinosaur, the vicious velociraptor captured the terrified animal.  The carnivorous dinosaur sunk its sharp teeth into the dead reptile.  Blood and flesh mingled with its teeth as it enjoyed its afternoon snack.  Other velociraptors joined in on the fun.

Suddenly, a swirling vortex appeared in front of them.  It glowed a white light and flashed before their confused soulless eyes.  The velociraptors were considerably awestruck and ceased their devouring of the poor dinosaur.  A mysterious voice was calling them into the vortex, a voice only they could understand.  The group of velociraptor hunters slowly advanced toward the white, glowing portal.  The vortex disappeared in mid air  along with the vicious reptiles.

Not before another creature followed them.

****

Night had fallen in Equestria and Princess Luna took guard over the balcony in her bed chambers.  She looked at the night sky with her new telescope Princess Twilight Sparkle had given her for her birthday.  Ever since she received the telescope as a gift, her perception of the night had drastically changed.  She never knew that outside of the moon and stars laid an entire arena of otherworldly wonders.  She could not bring herself to take a break from her instrument of stargazing.

For the first time in long life, she had finally seen nebulae, planets, galaxies, constellations.  Before her banishment and return to Equestria, she never believed her role as the raiser of the moon was worth anything; the ponies of the olden times always slept during the nights.  Now, she realized that the night was something special to modern day ponies and to herself.  By witnessing the vast infinite cosmos through her telescope she realized that night does indeed have a purpose.

Princess Celestia, her elder sister, slowly opened the door to Luna’s chamber.  The moon princess turned around and smiled warmly at the white alicorn before her.  Celestia walked up to her sister to join her in the balcony.  The two alicorn sisters embraced each other and Luna looked at Celestia with a sense of longing in her eyes.

“How are you enjoying your gift sister?” Celestia asked.

“Oh Tia, this telescope Twilight Sparkle has given is wonderful!  The night is so full of wonder and mystery!  I never knew the night was full of art,” she said in a joyful manner.  Celestia nuzzled her sister’s neck.  Princess Luna continued to look through her telescope until another thought came to her.  “However... whenever I look through this... as I gaze at the amazing features of space, at the infinite... I begin to realize how small and insignificant we really are,” she said somberly.

“Lu-Lu, that is nothing to be down about,” Celestia reassured her.  “Just because there are many things up in the heavens that we don’t know about, does not mean we are insignificant.  We are more than insignificant.”

“How can you be so sure?”  One of Celestia’s wings wrapped itself around the dark alicorn and brought her close.

“Luna, whenever I look up at the stars, I am reminded of how lucky we are that we are part of this wonderful world,” Celestia said.  Luna looked at her confusingly before Celestia continued.  “I often think about if there are other worlds besides our own.  I often think about if they go through the same struggles as we do.  If there was a civilization with a ruler who would do anything to protect those he or she loves.  Whenever I look up at the stars, I do not believe we are insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe.  I believe that we, and every other world, play a very important role in the cosmic stage.”

Luna looked at her sister before bringing her eyes back to the night.  She thought about of what Celestia had just told her.  An important role in the cosmic stage?  Looking at the stars, she couldn’t possibly believe that Equestria would be so important in this so-called “grand scheme.”  The universe seemed like an entirely gigantic place to pay any attention to the small ponies.  A feeling of immense doubt loomed over her very soul.  She looked back her telescope before she said anything to Celestia.

“Tia... do you think there could be somepony out there looking through a telescope... trying to find us?”

“I believe so Lu-Lu,” Celestia said warmly.  The royal sisters smiled softly at each other and walked back to their rooms.  All this time, not one of them noticed a small change in the alignment of the stars.

****

Meanwhile, in a small village just outside the Equestrian capital, an alicorn was sleeping peacefully in her bed.  Just beneath her bed laid a little sleeping dragon.  After a day of attending to royal business that required her attention, Princess Twilight Sparkle was relieved that the night solely belonged to her.  Being the Bearer of the Element of Magic and a royal princess was a demanding 24/7 job.  However, meetings and paperworks were nothing compared to the evils she and her friends had against to save their great land.

Her sleep was interrupted when she heard a small voice from beneath her bed.  She slowly opened her eyes as the voice increased with volume.  She looked down and saw her assistant and “brother” Spike wrestling under his blankets.  He was speaking loudly, incoherent words coming from his mouth.  Her sisterly instincts took over and she released him from his nightmare.

“Spike, Spike!  Wake up!  You’re having a nightmare, wake up!” she half yelled as she shook his scaly body.  The small dragon’s eyes shot open, sending him back to reality.  He looked into the worrying face of his alicorn mentor and panted heavily.  Twilight grabbed her “little brother” and brought him close.  “Spike, it’s okay.  Everything is okay.  It was all just a dream,” she said softly.

“Twilight, it was terrible!” Spike said in-between breaths.  “I was in some kind of jungle with all these weird looking animals!  They were big and had razor-sharp teeth and claws... and their eyes... oh gosh it was so scary, I thought I’ll never get out!” he cried.  “It looked so real!”

“Don’t worry Spike, you’re safe now,” she reassured him.  Spike and Twilight continued their moment of embrace until Twilight fell back into slumber.  She let Spike sleep next to her for the rest of the night.  As Twilight rested her mind and body, Spike was wide awake - the frightening images from his nightmare still fresh in his mind.  He looked out the window next to him, trying to purge the nightmare out his mind, but to no avail.

He could still see the barren wasteland, devoid of all life.  He could the terrible winged creatures that soared across the red sky.  His nightmare also included mountains that spit fire and earthquakes powerful enough to crumble the entire earth with ease.  The worst part was the giant creature that roamed across the land like a tyrannical ruler of his kingdom.  His dreadful, soulless eyes; his towering body decorated with scales; his blood soaked teeth and his large, clawed feet.  The thought of seeing this creature filled Spike with fear.  Every thought, every feeling, Spike could not bear the image of the tyrannical monster.

He turned his head to look at his “big sister.”  Even when Twilight is asleep she had the most beautiful smile on any pony - well, besides Rarity.  Her radiant smile comforted Spike, temporarily filling him with hope for a better dream this night.  As Spike was trying to fall asleep, One of Twilight’s wing involuntarily, but softly, landed on Spike.  The warmth from the wing is exactly what he need to make his eyelids heavier.  Spike was sound asleep, the two of them unaware that dark forces would invade their peaceful world.

****

There is another Earth that is just like the equines’ world but at the same time, drastically different.  In this world, equines are not the dominant force of the planet.  Instead, this version of Earth was populated by bipedal creatures known as “humans.”  The homo sapien, descendants of primate-like creatures of the paleolithic era, stood out from all creatures that inhabited every part of the Earth.  Unlike the ponies, the humans could not fly or posses the natural ability of magic.  However, an important aspect that proved to be successful in their growth was their history as laborers of the land.

While the earth was still young, the primates that were the human’s ancestors fought amongst each other for food and survival.  Every day was a conflict for superiority and dominance.  In those ancient times, the primates had not the skill or the tools to become predators.  prehistoric animals would ambush them, and one by one claim them as trophies for the hunt.

However, in a day not recorded in history, a mysterious object appeared to them.  No one knows what it was that appeared before the human’s ancestors, but it was known to be alien of origin.  The mysterious object increased the primate’s intelligence, which allowed them to create tools and weapons.  From that moment on, the primates ceased being the prey and became the predator.  Their destiny was finally in their own hands.

In the span of two millennia, the ancient primates evolved into beings that stood up straight.  They gave birth to fire, invented the wheel, forged civilizations and empires, and laid way to technological progress.  In addition, the human race gave birth to important figures in philosophy, history, and the arts.  The human race have passed every test the universe had given them.  Soon, another test will be presented to them, which will determine the fate of the humans and their equine counterparts.  At the peak of their civilization, only one man could bring them together in such a time as this.

In Hollywood, USA, in the year 2014 A.D. a man parked his automobile in the parking lot of Warner Brothers Studios in preparation to film his scenes for a new feature film.  This man’s name is Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum - his peers and fans know him as famous actor, Jeff Goldblum.  Mr. Goldblum has signed on to star in a new film by Oscar-nominated film director Wes Anderson.  His co-stars include the admirable Robert De Niro, funnyman Bill Murray, and the bland Owen Wilson.  Mr. Anderson met Mr. Goldblum at the lobby of one the studios and shook hands.

“Mr. Goldblum, I’m glad you arrived,” Wes Anderson said with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah, great.  It’s very nice to be here.  I uh, I uh, it’s always great to be in movies where I don’t have to play a scientist,” Jeff Goldblum joked, remembering his roles he was most famous for.  Mr. Anderson laughed along with him, reminded him of the upcoming Jurassic Park IV.  They talked to each other about Hollywood business and other life experience.  Unbeknownst to the actor, he was about to become the key that will connect two entirely different worlds.

****

The dinosaurs were flung across the wormhole that swept them off their dying land.  Their peanut-sized brains could not apprehend what was happening to them.  Inside the wormhole was filled the tremendous images and light that almost burned away their retinas.  After what seem like an eternity, the wormhole finally dropped them off into a whole new world.

The velociraptors and the other dinosaurs that followed them found themselves standing on what felt like... grass.  They sniffed the fresh air that was not polluted from the smoke and ash of the erupting volcanoes.  Surrounding them was an infinite amount of trees and branches.  It was so... beautiful.  The dinosaurs turned their heads up and saw it was still night.  But this night was different than the nights on their world.  They could still see the moon... that beautiful, pristine, glowing moon.

Their admiration for the new environment was interrupted when they heard the bushes rustling.  The menacing velociraptors readied themselves in a defensive stance to meet their enemy.  A pair of paws appeared from behind the bushes - wooden paws.  The creatures revealed themselves to be wolves of some kind.  The wolves looked like their bodies were made entirely out of lumber.  The pack leader growled at the velociraptors, giving them a clear warning of intruding into their territory.  The reptiles only response the grinning of their sharp teeth.  The wolves and raptors circled each other until one of them made the first move.

With speed faster than any pegasus, the raptors attacked the wooden wolves.  The battle only consisted of biting and gnawing.  The wolves sharp claws and the raptors sharp teeth were equally matched, supplying no clear victor for the ensuing battle of the predators.  After a few minutes of fighting, the wolves retreated into the night.  The raptors had won, but the battle proved pointless; there was no animal to feast on.  Hungry for flesh, they ventured into the deep dark forest in search of food.

It was going to be a long night.

See You Next Wednesday

The night was uneventful for the foreign creatures in this strange new world.  Under the pale moonlight, the velociraptors searched high and low for any available food source the forest could offer.  Unfortunately for them all the animals took refugee in secluded areas so no predator could ever hope to find them.  With hunger clouding their judgement, the pack of raptors began to quarrel among themselves out of spite.  They yelled at each other in their native reptilian language which included a chorus of screeches and high pitch roars.  They began to bite and scratch one another, paying no attention to the new challenger who entered the field.

A loud, ear piercing roar gained the raptors attention, and they immediately took a defensive stance against their new foe.  It was a rather large creature, about two times the size of a normal triceratops.  The enormous beast had the appearance of a ferocious lion, from head to hind legs.  However, when the terrifying beast sat up, its frightening bat-like wings extended, startling the pack of raptors.  Once the creature stomped its paws on the ground, it sent a shockwave that shook the very ground they were standing on.  The raptors staggered dumbly as they tried to pick themselves up.  With another roar, the beast leaped in a single bound and swatted one of the velociraptors.  The reptile hit its head on a nearby rock which fractured its skull, instantly killing it.  The pack leader stared daggers at the monster and with a high pitch screech, the raptors charged at the winged lion, also known as the mighty manticore.

The raptors surrounded the manticore, waiting to see which one of them would make the first move.  After a moment of anticipation, one of the blood-lusted raptors was quick to advance at the large winged creature.  Its razor sharp teeth bit into the forearm of the manticore; the beast roared in pain and slammed its arm onto the ground.  After four slams, the raptor lost its grip on the manticore, and the behemoth swatted the raptor away.  Blood leaked from the bite holes, but that only angered the manticore than weaken it.

Another velociraptor jumped straight at the manticore, preparing to grind its teeth into the beast's face.  Doing a double-take, the manticore performed a 360 degree turn and hit the incoming raptor with its scorpion tail.  The reptile hit the ground, not noticing the scorpion tail was above it.  The manticore was about to crush the living fossil until it roar again in pain.  One of the raptor's comrades brought its sharp claws on the beast's spine.  Like a rodeo star, the raptor bull ride the manticore.  The winged lion swung the raptor until it was dizzy, giving the reptile the opportunity to strike.

But the raptor did not count on the scorpion tail piercing it on the back.  The tail lift the dead and flung it across the playing field.  After shaking the dizziness, the manticore roared at the remaining velociraptors.  With two of them down, the raptors realize that this beast would prove to be a match for the usually unbeatable hunters.  The dwindling group of reptiles took a few steps, back the manticore slowly advanced forward.  The velociraptors only options were either to fight or run.  They could chose to run, but would still be hungry; and they desperately need something to eat.  So they have to stay in fight.  The small party prepared their last stand against the winged behemoth.  The manticore raised its claws to strike down the last few.

Then, the manticore paused, feeling the earth underneath its paws shake slightly.  The earth shook again several times, and the raptors and the winged lion could hear faint stomp sounds.  The fighting animals looked to their side and saw a number of trees falling.  A dark towering figure slowly approached them behind the shadows.  At last - with one move - stepped under the light of the moon.  It was him.  The confused manticore could not decipher the type of creature it was; but to the velociraptors, it was the monster they all knew too well... and feared.  With one booming roar, the small raptors retreated.

The Ruler of All Beasts had arrived.  The Tyrannosaurus.

Now the fight continued with the manticore and the T-Rex under the moon.  The two titans stood there, staring down one another in glaring hatred.  With one swift move, the winged lion pounced and swatted the giant lizard in the face.  The T-Rex staggered back and the manticore grabbed him by the head.  The winged beast pulled the tyrant king down on the ground and strangled him.  However, the T-Rex whip its tail and smack the manticore in the face.  The force of the tail sent the manticore back a few feet away from him.

The tyrannosaurus jumped back on his feet and used his tail again to hit the manticore straight in the face.  The winged behemoth was down for the moment, and the overgrown lizard marched toward it.  He raised his foot in preparation to smash the manticore's skull in.  Just as his foot descended, the manticore grabbed it and swung the T-Rex right into the trees.  The T-Rex leaped as high as a spider monkey and two beasts wrestled each other.  The manticore sent its teeth right into the neck of the T-Rex and it roar in immense pain.

The native monster of Equestria landed on its back and pushed his back legs against the torso of the lizard.  The T-Rex came in for a hard landing, resulting in it struggling to get up.  The manticore crept up to the lizard, grabbing the top of his head.  Then, it proceed to repeatedly bang his head against the earth.  However, the tyrannosaurus was quick to avoid another thrashing as it kicked the manticore in the abdomen.  The T-Rex was released from the manticore's tight grip.

While the winged behemoth was down, the T-Rex sunk his deadly teeth hard into the manticore's back leg.  The monster roar as the pain coursed through his body.  The winged lion limped helplessly in an effort to continue the fight, but the giant reptile then kick it to the ground on its back.  The T-Rex placed a giant foot on its torso, making sure the beast had no chance of escape.  Time seem to pause as the lizard stared into the winged monster's eyes.  The T-Rex finally sent his deathly teeth into the manticore's face... and was no more.

After devouring the face of his dead enemy, the T-Rex let out a victorious roar at the night.  The tyrant lizard proceed to enjoy his new found feast, the first in this strange new land.  His teeth was soaked with blood and covered with the flesh of the dead animal.  It was only a half an hour later until what remained of the manticore was bones.  Soon, it will only be a matter of time before the T-Rex and his brethren threaten the peaceful inhabitants of this world.

****

The rays of the morning sunlight pierce through the window and landed softly on Spike's purple face.  He turned to other side so the sunlight would touch his back.  A few minutes later, the blankets were slowly removed; not by hoof, but by magic.  Spike slowly sat up, wonder who or what made his blanket disappear.  His vision was blurry so it took him a few moments to adjust his eyesight.  Afterward, he saw Twilight looking at him with a smile on her face.

"Good morning Spike, did you sleep well?" she asked.

"Sort of," he muttered.  He opened his mouth so he could yawn.  He crawled out of bed and stretched his body.

"Well, I prepared breakfast in the kitchen.  We have a busy day ahead of us, so make sure you have enough to eat," she said giddily.  She left the room and walked downstairs.  "Another busy day," Spike thought to himself.  Ever since Twilight's ascension a few months ago, she always had something to do everyday.  It was either meetings with the nobility that sent her away or huge amounts of paperwork that came with the new wings.  They never seemed to have time just to themselves.  A distraught Spike went into the bathroom to wash his face.  As he stared into the mirror, he could still see the horrifying images from his nightmares; the barren wasteland, the giant beasts... and the eyes.  He pushed those thoughts out of his head and traveled downstairs to join Twilight for breakfast.

When Spike entered the kitchen, he smelled the sweet aroma of freshly baked buttery pancakes.  He sat at his usual spot at the table and saw his plate had his favorite pancakes: covered with small rubies.  Twilight sat on the other side and joined him in devouring the soft, warm flapjacks.

"Twilight, these pancakes are delicious!" Spike muffled.

"Spike, do talk with your mouth full," Twilight reminded him.  "It's rude."

"Sorry."  Spike swallowed the remaining contents down his throat and took a sip of his glass of orange drink.  After finishing the first plate, he climbed out of his chair and moved on to seconds; as Twilight said, he had to make sure he had a good breakfast.

"So Twilight, what the plan for today?" he asked as he put two more pancakes into his plate.

"Today, a very important pony will be visiting Ponyville.  The King of Cloptopia will be visiting today, so we need everypony to be on their best behavior."

"Cloptopia?  Isn't that the country where..."

"Yes Spike.  Their leader, High-Tails, has graveyards filled with cement because he's afraid of a zombie apocalypse.  But I have met him before, and seems to like a nice pony, even if he is kind of paranoid.  I need everypony to be on their best behavior because he is so afraid of the slightest things."

"How can such a 'fraidy pony like him become a leader of a country?" Spike asked unbelievably.

"I'm not sure, Spike.  Of course he is a descendant from a long line of Cloptopian leaders.  In fact, his father was king for a brief period before he died.  High-Tails ascended to the throne when he was just nine-years-old."

"Wow - that young, huh?  Anyway, why so paranoid?"

"I don't know.  He does a lot of things that might seem off.  A long time ago, I heard he hired guards to protect him while he slept because he was afraid of vampires - at least that's what I've heard.  It might be best not to ask them that," Twilight explained.  Spike shrugged and finished his second helping of pancakes.  When he felt that his stomach could no longer take another wave of pancakes, he washed his plate over the sink.  Twilight levitated a clipboard which contained a list of the day's events.  "Also Spike, I need you to watch the house for a few days while I'm gone.  Starting Thursday."

"What? Oh come on, not another trip!" Spike whined.

"I'm sorry Spike, but there's a very important meeting in Canterlot I have to attend.  The prince of the Griffon Kingdom is coming to speak with Celestia about forming new trade routes."

"You'll be back by Sunday, right?"

"Not exactly - I have to go to the Crystal Empire to help Princess Cadence reorganize the ancient archives."

"You know... just once - I'd like a day where it's just you and me.  Ever since you became a princess, we rarely get to spend any time together.  Whenever you leave, I get... I get lonely," Spike lamented.

"Spike... what about the girls?" she asked curiously.

"They don't wanna take the time out their lives to be with me," Spike said bitterly.  "They never do."

"That's not true, Spike.  They're not just my friends, they're your friends too."

"But whenever you guys go on cool adventures or do fun stuff, I always get left behind!"

"What about when you helped saved the Crystal Empire?  As I recall, you we'rent left behind," Twilight reasoned.

"That was just that one time!" Spike sat grumpily on a chair in the living room.  The lavender alicorn slowly approached the pouting dragon with a look of sympathy on her face.  She wrapped her wing around him and pulled him close.

"Spike, I'm really sorry I do this to you.  But as a princess, I have new responsibilities I have to uphold.  But that doesn't mean I don't care about you... you are as important to me than anypony else," Twilight said.  Spike gave her a small glance, but it was enough to tell her that he was not convinced.  "Spike, I promise you; next weekend, it will be just you and me."

Spike was about to say something until he saw that smile that pierced through his soul.  He could not bring himself to be that upset with her.  After thinking it through, he finally agreed with her terms.

"Okay, next weekend."

"Good."  Spike and Twilight hugged each other, but pulled away once she looked at the clock.  "Oh, it's almost eight-thirty.  King High-Tails is going to make his arrival any minute."  Twilight levitated her crown to her head and ran out the door (she still didn't know how to fly).  Spike was once again left alone with only his thought to accompany him.

****

Princess Twilight Sparkle and her five best friends stood outside of the town entrance, waiting for the King of Cloptopia to arrive.  None of them knew how he was going to be like, but they prepared for his visit due to hearing stories about him from outside sources.  Mayor Mare was also present with the six ponies.

"We've been waiting here all morning.  When is going to get here?" Rarity whined.

"Knowing him, he's probably double-checking his good luck charms," Twilight joked.

"Oh right, I heard he was a very superstitious stallion," Rarity added.

"Superstitious is an incredible understatement, Miss Rarity," Mayor Mare said.  "The darn stallion banned Nightmare Night celebrations in his kingdom because he believed that children wearing costumes were possessed by evil spirits!"

"How dreadful!" Rarity exclaimed.

"There are so many stories about him Rarity.  Like the time he banned music because he thought there were secret messages about how to overthrow the Church of Equestria."

"We don't know if that's true," Twilight answered.  "He might be odd at times, but most of those stories about him are just gross exaggeration."

"I don't know, Twi.  I heard some weird stuff about High-Tails myself," Applejack said.  "I heard he ordered all mirrors in Cloptopia to be destroyed because he feared his reflection was plotting against him."

"Applejack, you don't honestly believe that--"

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow Dash interrupted, "well I heard that High-Tails sent his troops on a wild goose chase... that involved an actual goose!  Because he accused the goose of slandering his name!"

"That's just ridiculous, High-Tails--"

"Wait!" Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere, which scared Twilight.  "I heard that during a memorial service for ponies that were lost at sea, he grabbed a sword and fought the ocean... and killed it!"

The mares began to argue over which stories about King High-Tails were accurate depictions of him.  They were so caught in the moment they did not noticed that a chariot being pulled by four pegasi was making a landing.  The only one that had not joined in the chorus of angry voices was the timid Fluttershy.  The yellow pegasus tried several attemps to get the ponies attention, but to no success.  After her low pleas of silence caught deaf ears, she took a deep breath and preapared to use her "outside voice."

"QUIET GIRLS!"

All was silent.

"Umm, I hate to interrupt your conversation, but King High-Tails is here," Fluttershy said.  She pointed to a golden chariot whose rider was a young orange stallion with a yellow mane, complete with a crown.  He climbed out of his chariot and approached the nervous mares.  Princess Twilight and rest of her company bowed to him in reverence.

"Greetings King High-Tails, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle," Twilight introduced herself.  "Welcome to Ponyville."

"Thank you, it's very nice to be here," High-Tails said courteously.  "Say... there aren't any mirrors here, are they?"

"Nope.  We got rid of the last one this morning."

"Oh good.  Last time I faced a mirror, the pony in front of me taunted me for hours without end.  He threatened to hold my kingdom hostage if didn't give in to his demands.  Luckily, I know his little secret.  But I can't tell you.  Because if I did, it would no longer be a secret."  King High-Tails walked toward another direction with his guards following him.

Mayor Mare opened her mouth to say something.

"Don't."

****

On the set of the studio where Wes Anderson was filming his new movie, Jeff Goldblum held a pleasant conversation with two veteran actors, Robert De Niro and Bill Murray.  In the movie, he plays a character who is the younger brother of Robert De Niro's characters, while Bill Murray plays the two protagonists' father.  It was almost time to shoot their scene, as everyone from actor to cameramen prepared to bring Anderson's vision of a father son relationship to life.

The set build for the actors looked like a suburban living room.  A large couch in the center with a smaller chair on the side.  Fake picture frames hung on the wall while blue wallpaper decorated the room.  Behind the couch were stairs that led to nowhere in particular.  The three actors got into their respective positions, with De Niro and Goldblum sitting together on a couch with Murray on the chair.  Wes Anderson got behind a camera monitor and gave everyone their cue.

"Rolling in five... four... three... two... action!"

"I'm very disappointed in you boys," Murray said.  "I can't believe you ran over that kid's dog!  You ran over Billy Watterson's dog!  What am I going to tell his parents?!  What the hell am I going to tell his parents?!"

"Dad, it's not our fault, that damn skateboard was in the way, and that old lady from next door was yelling at us, and just pointing her finger at me like I did something wrong," De Niro explained.

"You ran over a kid's dog!" Murray reminded.

"Well, well, technically, no, we, um didn't, you, you, see, we, um, the car, with um, little spark plugs, that um, it couldn't possibly get to where we were um going.  Dad, I think, I think the dog shouldn't even be there, if it knew the car was moving."

"Dad, Jim has a point," De Niro said.  "If the dog knew before hand that the car was moving, he wouldn't have died.  It's pure, simple logic."

"You boys are... you boys are going to apologize to Billy Watterson and his parents right now!" Murray fumed.

"I uh... I don't think we can do that right now, because uh, I... we, uh, we sent his parents on a scavenger hunt, so... they won't be back until... next Wednesday," Goldblum awkwardly explained.  Bill Murray performed the most glorious facepalm any actor had ever done.

"Cut!  That was great," Wes Anderson applauded.  When the set people prepared for another take, two of the production interns conversed among themselves.

"This doesn't feel like a Wes Anderson movie," Tom whispered.  "Any idea who wrote the script?"

"I heard Judd Apatow and Wes Anderson wrote the screenplay together," Terry whispered back.

"Judd and Wes doing a movie? Together?  What is this world coming to?"

After a day with multiple takes, some shots for the blooper reel and a great scavenger hunt sequence, the actors went home after a job well done.  As evening approached and the studio was empty, Mr. Anderson went down into the studio basement.  He opened the door to reveal a room filled with green pods.  He walked down as the series of pods with humans in them passed his way.  In the center was the one he was looking for.  He placed his hands on the pod, a sinister smile forming in his face.

"I've managed to fool your friends and coworkers.  Soon, this world life force will be no more.  Oh how wonderful it is to be at the service of my beautiful queen," Anderson wickedly said.  A green flash appeared in his eyes.  His evil laughter echoed across the basement.  In a circle of green fire, Wes Anderson disappeared without a trace.

Worlds were colliding.

Stay Tuned...

Hello Dear Readers,

As of today, I am putting Equestrian Goldblum on hiatus until further notice.  I am currently busy with my job and school that I have no time to continue Jeff Goldblum's amazing adventures in Equestria, and I have absolutely no idea of where to go with the story, as I have written myself in a corner with no possible way of escaping.

I will try to write little one-shots to keep my creative juices flowing, but I do hope that one day I will have the chance to continue this magnificent tale of courage and sacrifice and the bond between two worlds on the eve of destruction.

Keep on reading and keep on writing, you wonderful people.

NorthCrusader, out.