Discord's Cake

by Naxanz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 1104

Have you ever wondered why Discord is so chaotic? It turns out that the real reason is actually quite silly. If only Celestia hadn't... well, I'll let you figure that out for yourself.

Have you ever wondered why Discord is so chaotic? It turns out that the real reason is actually quite silly. If only Celestia hadn't... well, I'll let you figure that out for yourself.

Published 2013-08-14 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-14 23:10:01 UTC

Discord's Cake

The loud ringing of an alarm clock jolted Discord out of his pleasantly chaotic dreams. Morning already? It seemed just a second ago that he had gone to sleep. I guess having nearly limitless physic bending powers can wear you out sometimes. Yawning, Discord casually floated out of his bed and over to a mirror hanging on the wall. With the snap of his fingers he made a pink comb appear and quickly combed his big bushy eyebrows and beard. Hanging next to the mirror was a small picture of Celestia, Luna, and him all smiling happily together.

When Discord had first arrived in Equestria he had wreaked pandemonium everywhere, which was understandable, since he was the spirit of chaos after all. But, after a little persuasion, Celestia had been able to convince him to limit his powers. She said that they didn’t have to be enemies as long as they were able to reach an agreement. In the end Celestia had selected desolate regions of Equestria where Discord could do whatever he pleased. After that Celestia and him had become pretty good friends. He even lived in the castle with her.

As he slowly slithered his way over to the bedroom door, Discord realized that he was, in fact, too lazy to take the stairs this morning. Instead he snapped his fingers and magically transported himself downstairs. A burly looking royal guard jumped in surprise as Discord materialized right in front of him.

“Sorry for the fright, good sir, but could you be so kind as to point me in the direction of the castle kitchen?” inquired Discord slyly as he floated in coiled circles around the stallion.

"Uh, that way,” replied the guard making a gesture down the right hallway.

Discord thanked the guard before snapping his fingers once more and transporting himself down the right passageway. Once he materialized, Discord looked around and was pleased to find that he was now in the castle’s kitchen. Using his magic he extended his arm across the room and grabbed onto the refrigerator’s door handle. Then he retracted it, zipping the rest of his body up to the refrigerator. Discord was defiantly a breakfast person. In fact, he was an every meal person. He almost always seemed to be hungry. Which was probably the reason why most of his chaos involved food.

Anyhow, he couldn’t wait to sink his one big tooth into the last piece of magically delicious chocolate cake that he had baked with Celestia a few days ago. It was no ordinary cake, and even he wouldn’t be able to just snap his fingers and make more of it. It was made with extremely rare ingredients and the most powerful baking magic. Just thinking about it made Discord’s mouth water. In fact, there literally was a waterfall of water pouring out of his mouth at the moment.

Without further to do Discord swung open the refrigerator’s door and began reaching for the last piece of this delicious cake. But, for some reason, he only grabbed air. Worriedly, Discord searched every last inch of the frig for his slice of cake. It was no use, the cake was gone!

“Where’s that chocolate cake?” wondered Discord baffled. It had just been there last night.

“Do you mean this chocolate cake?” replied a familiar voice.

Swinging around Discord’s eyes focused on Celestia. In her hooves was the last slice of cake that Discord had been searching for. To his dismay, a giant bite had already been taken out of it.

“Hey, that’s my piece!” exclaimed Discord angrily.

Discord knew that Celestia could be a troll at times, but this was going too far! She knew how much he loved cake and she was eating it right in front of him.

“You want this cake!?” chortled Celestia jokingly.

“I want it!” cried Discord aggravated, “I was saving it because I got nauseated by that precooked mini-mall rotisserie chicken.”

Celestia only smiled and took another bite. After slowly chewing it she sighed and tantalizingly said, “It’s good…”

This only irked the spirit of chaos even further as he watched the princess indulge herself.

“Gimmie that cake!”

“No way.”

“I want that CAKE!”

Celestia only chuckled and ignored him. Angrily, Discord snapped his fingers and turned the last piece of cake to stone.

“If I can’t have it, then neither can you.”

“Hey, you can’t do that!” exclaimed Celestia crossly. Her gleeful grin instantly turned into an displeased frown.

Laughing hysterically Discord replied, “I can do what I want when I want. I’m the spirit of chaos and disorder. In fact, I have no idea why I even made a contract with you in the first place. From now on chaos will rule Equestria!”

At that statement the already irked princess’s horn began to glow yellow. As Discord continued to laugh at her, Celestia began charging up her magical energy. Meanwhile, Discord was snapping his fingers furiously and making everything complete disarray. The cabinets turned purple. The ground became hilly and plaid. A large hole formed in the ceiling and it began raining grape juice out of pillows.

“I’ve forgotten how good it feels to cut loose,” snickered Discord fiendishly, “This is just so much fun.”

Without hesitation Celestia suddenly shot a powerful yellow beam of magic out of her horn. It struck the laughing trickster with tremendous force before completely turning him to stone. All of the surroundings almost instantly turned back to normal and everything became quiet. The chocolate cake became eatable once more as well. With a few quick bites Celestia finished it off and licked her lips. She then placed the empty plate on the kitchen counter and turned towards the exit without even glancing at the imprisoned spirit.

“That should hold you for about a thousand years,” smiled Celestia walking out of the room, “And hopefully teach you a lesson or two. Nobody, messes with my cake!”

Author's Note

Hopefully you've realized by now that I got the idea for this story from this video:

Did you like it? Please give me feedback in the comments below. I love feedback! Of course, please don't critic this story too harshly. It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's just for some laughs. :pinkiesmile:

By the way, being imprisoned in stone for one thousand years many sound like a harsh punishment, but when you're immortal time probably flies pretty fast. Of course, that doesn't make up for the fact that Celestia was still a troll. :trollestia: I think Discord has the right to be mad at her. lol