CSI: Equestria

Lindsay awoke with a snort, feeling groggy. Something poked her in the side, and a voice began to speak, but she cut it off.

"Danny, why are you getting me up so early? it's not time yet," she muttered, putting her head back down, and receiving a muted thunk in response, "ow, where did we fall asleep? I"

She stopped when she opened her eyes and saw the visage that awaited her. Immediately, Lindsay awoke fully, jumping to her feet with a click, and

"Wait. Since when have feet clicked?" She asked herself, with a dawning sense of horror. Lindsay Messer looked down, preparing for something awful.

"Hooves, my little pony, have always clicked," replied a regal voice from a rather great distance, and it continued, in an equally regal, if slightly more amused tone, "guards, I do believe she isn't a threat." That command drew Lindsay's attention, and then proceeded to smear it all over the walls and pour it on the roof.

Surrounding her was what looked like three full squads of armored, identical ponies. At the voice's command, they had backed up slightly, but still looked a little wary. The ponies all had white coats, she thought, and were all wearing the same golden and silver armor. Oddly enough, what little of their faces was displayed appeared to be the same from pony to pony.

Turning her head, she saw another three squads of identical guards, only these had dark purple and black armor, and were all of a darker coat tone. They did however, sport expressions of distrust similar to the other guards.

"Either someone put something in my drink, or something really weird happened," Lindsay said, drinking in the sight of the guards. Something smiled further past them, and she gaped.

Two ponies stood on a dais, and the taller of them was smiling at her still.

Hello, little one. I am Princess Celestia, and this is Princess Luna,” the smaller, darker one nodded, looking rather shrewdly, “and we are the co-rulers of Equestria.” Lindsay nodded, still a little confused.

“Wait, if you’re the Lunar Princess, then shouldn’t you be Princess Sol?” asked Messer, looking first at the taller, white-coated mare with the pastel mane, then at the smaller, darker-mane’d and -coat’d mare.

“well met, Princesses, I’m Lindsay Messer of the New York Crime Lab, and I-- I have hooves?!” shouting the last part, she regarded what had happened to her hands. The princesses frowned, obviously wondering why she had suddenly let out this outburst.

“Well, yes, you do have hooves. Why do you say that?” asked the smaller princess, Luna, as Lindsay continued to examine her hooves. The coat was an orange, and she looked over her shoulder at her hair, which was a rather subdued light pink color.

“I have never before had hooves,” said Lindsay, sounding, to the princesses, rather subdued.

“Um, Ms. Messer, the pony races have always had hands, where are you from that you haven't had hooves?" Asked the Sun Princess in a gentle tone.

"Where are we now?" Abruptly asked the newly minted mare; the Princesses shared a look, this one obviously meant no harm, but would have to be dealt with carefully.

"My dear, we are in Canterlot, the capital of Equestria," answered the younger princess, choosing her words with care.

"Hmm, obviously a play on Camelot, but altered to suit pony physiology. Interesting, the still-supine mare mused.

"Oh dear. One of those again. Noteworthy," at this, a smaller pony rushed out of a side corridor, previously hidden by an artful tapestry, depicting some chimerical monster, "prepare a note to Twilight Sparkle, please."

The apparent secretary nodded, and took down Celestia's words, basically a BOLO for confused, "cutie-mark-less" ponies, who claimed to be from another world, as Lindsay shakily got to her feet and examined the tapestries and stained lass of what was now evidently a throne room.

The guards had vanished into normal air, which was convenient, seeing as they likely would've tried to stop her. Royal guards were the same the world over- grumpy and identical.

Some of the works depicted six multicolored ponies, fighting a variety of evils, while some depicted the two princesses fighting evil. One depicted Celestia seemingly banishing Luna to the moon, and Lindsay had just turned to the next one when Celestia spoke her name.

"Yeah, Celestia, what's up?" Lindsay inquired, and Celestia smiled warmly.

"Let's hear your story. Though we might want to move out of the thrown room, this is hardly the place for somepony's life story," she added dryly, to which all three ponies chuckled.

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Adam Ross awake with a feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach. He had no idea why, he had always felt safe in his house, but this… wait, since when had his bed consisted of a forest floor? He had slept in weirder places, though he was wondering why he hadn't used some sort of sleeping mat, most of those forests weren't pleasant on the back, though this one was likely the exception to that.

It was cool, almost to the point he was feeling cold, and it felt almost fetid. Not at all like a decaying corpse, which he had extensive experience with, or sewage, which he had more experience with as the new man, but thankfully he hasn't had to wade through too many open landfills.

Then the stench increased sharply, and he reflexively gagged, opening his eyes when the stench abated enough.

Adams eyes shot fully open, and then some, upon what he saw-- a wooden dog, staring him, with phosphorescent green eyes.

"A… wooden dog," observed Adam, quite intelligently. The dog snarled, tilting his head.

The food was supposed to cower, and whimper, not frown and ask questions as to how a dog made completely out of wood was logically possible. The wolf was hungry though, and he needed to eat something, and this pony was conveniently placed, so why not? The entire timberwolf race was opportunists, so when this small thing had dropped out of the sky, the dog was quite happy to take advantage of a free lunch, though it was getting rather tired of its questions.

With a roar, the wolf launched forward, interrupting whatever Adam was thinking, and instead replacing it with a yelp that struck the hungry wooden hound square in the muzzle, doing nothing at all. At he same time, Adam instinctively threw up an arm-- or leg and hoof, as he saw-- to try and block it, but to no avail.

The timberwolf ripped into his arm, the sharp teeth causing massive damage and causing blood to spurt all over him when he removed his teeth, unplugging the wound. The blackness comes quickly, but he holds it at bay as he struggles with the wolf, trying to throw it off him after the sudden attack.

Adam's unable to do so, however, and he starts fading as he registered another presence nearby- one that radiated a sense of unease.

The thing roared, and the wolf, stepping away from what had been a tasty meal and cowering.

It roared again, speaking that time, but Adam was too far into the black to notice.

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