CSI: Equestria

Earlier in the day--

Flack finally found someone in the otherwise deserted lab.

Sid Hammerback glanced up as the street detective entered his lab, quickly closing the Backtrack terminal and opening the Windows terminal.

"How can I help you, Flack?" The M.E. asked, noting the concerned expression Flack wore.

"I'd like your help in investigating what happened to the rest of the team. They're all gone!" He finished, peering around the morgue as though expecting someone to pop out of the body drawers.

"I've come to the same conclusion, but I'm not sure why everyone has suddenly vacated the premises. Though I suspect we'll find the answer in a manner that doesn't involve just talking about it," Sid said, determining that he would find out what had gone wrong.

"Of course, lets go."

They traipsed up, and Flack turned to Sid, a conflicted expression on his face.

"If the shootin' starts, Sid, could you do me the favor of not dying?" Flack asked, and Sid grinned, fanning his coat to reveal the pistol neatly tucked away. Flack rolled his eyes, and Sid grinned, and the pair advanced.

They approached the only thing in the level that was out of place, as a sense of unease nestled itself over Don's head, and a curiosity filled Hammerback.

"Is that little black box, the one lying on the floor there, carelessly thrown, the reason why this place is as deserted as Chernobyl?" Sid asked, confused. Flack opened his mouth to respond, but a bizarre peach-colored light emanated from the box and beat him to it.

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Adam blinked himself awake, sensing he was in a dark environment as he did so.

"Ah, good. You are awake. I was worried something terrible had gone down with you, but no. You are all in order," said a mysterious voice, about six feet away.

"Who… who are you?" Adam asked, not moving anything other than his mouth.

"I'm not quite sure myself. Though I think I'm known as Sathsiguopula, or Galt, for short. What do you go by, little pony?" The voice melodious, multidinous, liquid, calming, sinister and surreal all at once.

Adam Ross opened his eyes at last and found himself facing a floating, many-tentacled, hundred-eyed beastie.

"Hello, John, I'm Adam, um, Adam Ross, from the, ah, New York crime lab, and if I may ask, erm, what-- what happened to my arm? My-- hoof?" Adam stuttered at first, but then his tone changed to horror when he raised what he noticed as his left hoof and saw that it was a metallic, dull grey color, midway to the shoulder blade past the elbow.

"The timberwolves attacked you before we could stop them. One of them bit your elbow, and ripped it to veritable shreds. Had we not amputated, you would've died of something awful. We have given you a titanium-tungsten alloy prosthetic, with a few additional features. It's never going to break, and no timberwolf is ever going to remove it. Just, do us a favor, please, and not go into the Everfree forest?" The voice ended on a questioning tone, and Adam nodded, happy that he hadn't died a second time.

"Where are we? Does everyone look like you, John Galt?" Adam asked, starting to get over his fear now that he had understood he wasn't dying or being held by someone who wanted to inflict serious harm on him, though Adam was wondering if amputating a limb counted as 'serious harm'.

"We are in the magical land of Equestria, and we am the only one of this shape," he explained, sounding not the least bit concerned that Ross had no idea where he was.

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A tan pony in a well-made suit entered a darkened room. Inside, there were two boxes, illuminated by the rays of light that entered through the open doorway.

Not bothering to close the door, the figure opened the closest box, revealing what could possibly be described as a pair of hands, if fingers had six joints and were a porcelain white.

The figure reverently lifted them to the light, and admired the things for a moment. Choosing to put them back, he did so and instead opened the other box, revealing a pile of posters, all advertising a circus.

The dark-suited pony smiled slightly to himself, knowing that a circus would be a new thing in Equestria. And he would add an extra element that had not been seen for well over a thousand years.

The posters featured a large circus tent, with the words 'Equestrian Carnival' in bold print on top, with a list of dates and locations appearing in much smaller print at the bottom.

The middle of it featured a variety of carnival events, but what the pony enjoyed the most about it was the words 'Dritte obitelj' emblazoned in the background, amongst the happy ponies and cheerful colors. It was difficult to see, and even harder if you didn't know where to look, but it was plainly obvious to the pony.

He closed the box, and pulled a fedora from a hatrack that was swathed in darkness near the door.

The mysterious pony stepped into the afternoon sun and briskly began walking towards the Everfree.

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"I wonder what happened to my husband," Lindsay murmured, wondering what had happened to him.

"I dare say he'll be fine, Lindsay, and besides, there's no reason to fret over something you cannot change. That was a lesson that took me awhile to learn, but it was finally hammered in, as it were, when I made a mistake that cost me a thousand years, and the love of my subjects," Princess Luna said, ending on a melancholy tone. Lindsay frowned slightly, wondering what atrocity she could have done to earn such a punishment, so instead of wondering she asked her.

"Princess, what did you do? I mean, I've seen some awful stuff, but I can't imagine anything that would be worthy of a thousand years," Lindsay asked, trying to be understanding. Luna smiled; none of her subjects had ever had the temerity to speak this openly, and question their ruler like this, but this Lindsay Messer, she could be something new. It wasn't often ponies popped out of air, and claimed to be of another dimension.

"A thousand years ago, I became jealous of my sister and the way the ponies loved her day. I wasn't fond of the way they shunned my night, so I transformed into the entity known as Nightmare Moon. I was banished to the moon for a thousand years, where I pondered and hoped and hated and schemed. Recently, I returned, but the Elements of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and allowed me out," she concluded her speech with a slight gesture to herself, and Lindsay nodded, trying to absorb everything.

"Well, one, that whole "jealousy" thing got old with Cain and Abel, and two, that sounds like some type of mental disorder, but I--" the earth pony was interrupted by a roar.

"ART THOU INSINUATING THAT WE ART INSANE? WE ARE UTTERLY WITHIN NOMINAL MENTAL STANDARDS!" The sudden force of her voice caused the doors to blow open, or maybe it was Celestia, who was suddenly inside the room.

"Princess, calm down. I was just saying that it sounds like a mental illness. I never actually diagnosed you. Nor can I, so please calm down," Lindsay said, with the air of a young girl trying to calm the unicorn she found in the woods behind her house, which suddenly struck her as an odd thing to think of.

"Calm, Luna, calm. Remember what we talked about? The ponies will not accept you if you anger so easily. Are you icy, sister?" Celestia asked, concerned. Lindsay raised an eyebrow at this last term.

"I am, sister. And, Mrs. Messer, 'icy' is a term I thought up, one that means 'calm' or 'cool'.  Because anger is referred to as 'red-hot', the obvious correlation is 'icy' or 'frosty'. Pretty cool, huh? And who is Cain and Abel?" Luna asked, as Lindsay froze.

"I, for one, have always enjoyed the night, though in my profession, it often meant different things to different people. Um, the story of Cain and Abel. Well, Cain killed Abel 'cause he was jealous. Obviously, the analogy is incorrect, because Nightmare Moon didn't kill Celestia, but the theme of 'jealousy' still is relevant," she explained, hoping she could head off introducing Christianity to Equestria. They really didn't need it.

"That's horrible. Please don't tell me that all humans are like that?" Celestia asked Lindsay, who internally debated the best answer.

"In my profession, I've seen both sides. I've seen amazing heroism, and I've seen the darkest depths of the human soul. The human soul, who we are, is nothing but what we remember. The culmination of our memories defines us, and my memories are… mixed," Lindsay explained, as Celestia and Luna neutrally listened.

"What was your profession?" Luna calmly asked.

"I was a crime investigator for New York City, though with any luck I'll be back there soon enough," she said, not really believing her own words. The Princesses glanced at each other, seemingly holding a conversation, invisible and unknowable to mortals.

"Would you consider working in the same capacity for Equestria?" Princess Celestia asked, an eager undercurrent running past her calm mask.

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