CSI: Equestria

by tomla134

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Romance, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 8646

The CSI: NY team finds their way into Equestria. Shenanigans ensue.

We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us.

When a talking, technicolor horse stumbles its way into new york, and then dies, the crime scene investigators are called in. Little could they know what would happen next, and how they are turned into ponies, and then sent to Equestria.

I shall likely string out the entrance of characters; not all of the CSI:NY characters will make it to Equestria.

I picked CSI:NY because I like it, K?

Editor needed, PM me if you want the job.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-01 01:07:14 UTC

Prologue

With a  sigh, Flack rolled over and got out of bed. It wasn't that he didn't like his job, he loved his job, it was that he had been having such a surreal dream. Something about talking horses...

Even as he tried to remember it, however, it was slippign through his fingers like it was fine sand. He shook his head, instead getting ready to perform his morning routine.

λ

"Hey, Mac, what's the latest?" asked Stella Bonasera, as the detective walked into the main room, and fell into step next to his partner. The older man had a faint look of incredulity plastered onto is weathered face, and Stella knew that it must  be something miraculous to actually extract an emotion of surprise from Mac Taylor.

"You won't believe this. Apparently, a talking, sentient horse was killed and we are going to investigate," said Mac, looking through the file he was carrying as he did so.

"Wait, Mac, are you sure it was a horse? And what did it look like?" queried Bonasera, just as Danny arrived turned a corner and came to a stop in front of them. He had a surprising grin on his face, and he looked like he was about to burst from sheer joy.

"What's got you so happy, Danny?" Jokingly asked Mac, gesturing to the smile plastered on his face.

"Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that this is a character outta My Little Pony, god how I love that show," sighed Danny, suddenly looking more than a little melancholy. At this, Flack stuck his head out of his office and then the rest of him appeared, just as Bonasera left for her own office, likely to gather her own gun.

"Wait a minute, Danny boy, I had no idea you enjoyed that show. And I thought I was the only one!" Flack grinned, his original scowl transforming at the end of his first sentence.

"Children's shows aside, we need to be out there and investigating in about twenty minutes, you all hear that?" Mac announced to the rest of his team, gathered around him, two of them with graced with smiles.

λ

"This is amazing. A sentient, talking pony? Or, more accurately, a pegasus, because insofar as Greek mythology is concerned, Pegasus was Hercules' winged mount, though I doubt that's what we've got here," narrated Stella as she examined the body, and drew on her knowledge of the ancient Mediterranean culture, "it appears to have a light green coat, and a tattoo of some sort on the posterior." Mac helped Hawkes roll the body over, which revealed a box somehow attached to its chest.

"Get back!" shouted Mac, putting his arms out to escort the other two down the street, stopping only when they reached a building and hid behind it, thirty yards away.

They all peered around the corner, just in time to see the box fall off the pony's chest. It opened to reveal what could only be described as a miniature, very old-fashioned camera. They stared in shock as a white beam of light emanated from the top of the camera, scanning the entire street, including the team, still hiding around the corner.

With a frown, Mac started around the corner. This wasn't how bombs operated. This thought, more or less, had just passed through everyone's heads like a high-speed bullet when the light stopped on them. With a sickening lurch, they fell forward as the light blinded them. In the space of time it takes for a neuron to fire, they were gone.

λ

Sid frowned, wondering why he didn't have a body. Mac had usually gotten him a corpse by now, but today something was off. Just as that thought was crossing his mind, he received the body, which he signed off on and began his work.

The dark green horse had wings, and also had some sort of tattoo on its rear flanks. Sid noted with amusement that it seemed to be a full-grown male.

However, he received a shock when he turned the body over to begin conducting an autopsy and found a black device attached to its chest. He assumed it wasn't a bomb or dangerous, else it would've been another hour or so before he got the cooling body, but it was worth examination.

With a sense of trepidation, Sid slid on a pair of gloves and goggles and removed the box. It came off, but there was arcing electricity, and, oddly enough, there wasn't a single trace of adhesive! He frowned at the corpse.

"What were you using, my camouflage friend, to attach a rectangular object to your dark-furred chest without using straps, tape or adhesive, my little pony?" Hammerback muttered, turning the device over in his pale fingers.

Abruptly turning his attention to other matters, or bodies as it was, he placed the little box into a tray, facing the body and drawing some blood, to send to the toxicology.

As he did so, he idly ran some calculations and frowned as he finished them; these wings shouldn't be capable of holding up something-- or someone, as the body may be--  let alone moving at speeds to be of any use in regards to mobility.

The wings should have been far larger, and hollow, which they weren't, at least by Sid's reckoning. These bones felt solid, like a normal human bone.

They wouldn't be able to lift a pony of this size and weight, at least not without something… magical. Moreover, the muscles seemed to be well-formed, indicating that they had been used. Common sense indicated that someone with those wing muscles eventually would stop using them, or at least, the wings would atrophy, changing their shape from what Hammerback was looking at, to something that… wasn't what he was looking at.

He sighed and continued working, making a note to include it in his report when he talked to Mac.

Sid shuddered, as he finally came to the conclusion that here was something magical about it.

λ

Adam Ross frowned as he examined the box. It wasn't what it should've been.

The box was about the size of a child's hand, and seemingly made out of iron. However, there was no indication that it had ever been attached to anything or anyone, nor was there any indication that there was anything inside the box. There were no tool marks, and in fact the only thing that kept him from dismissin it as a random chunk of iron was the strangeness of its weight.

Iron is inherently heavy, no quite as heavy as lead or gold, but nowhere near as feather-light as aluminum or titanium. And a piece of iron such as this would have a definite weight, weight that Adam most distinctly felt was missing.

Shrugging, he decided to play some music as he worked. The song was catchy, and he sang along as he ran the box through the x-ray scanner.

Take me out to the black,

Tell them I ain't comin' back.

Burn the land and boil the sea,

But you can't take the sky from me.

It differed rather greatly from his usual fare of rock, but it was a nice melancholy tune, and one that had rather large hidden depths of meaning.

His attention was diverted when the results came back from the scanner, and he scanned them rapidly, his jaw rapidly coming onto roughly the same height as the floor.

The little box contained energy. Not a lot, but enough to do some weird stuff. Adam turned towards the door, in order to find Mac, when a bright pink light leapt from the device, enveloping the almost deserted lab and it's sole occupant, now running at a fast pace towards the door.

He never made it, falling into the inky blackness like it was an alcohol induced torpor, and had had seven too many drinks.

λ

The Masques We Wear

Lindsay awoke with a snort, feeling groggy. Something poked her in the side, and a voice began to speak, but she cut it off.

"Danny, why are you getting me up so early? it's not time yet," she muttered, putting her head back down, and receiving a muted thunk in response, "ow, where did we fall asleep? I"

She stopped when she opened her eyes and saw the visage that awaited her. Immediately, Lindsay awoke fully, jumping to her feet with a click, and

"Wait. Since when have feet clicked?" She asked herself, with a dawning sense of horror. Lindsay Messer looked down, preparing for something awful.

"Hooves, my little pony, have always clicked," replied a regal voice from a rather great distance, and it continued, in an equally regal, if slightly more amused tone, "guards, I do believe she isn't a threat." That command drew Lindsay's attention, and then proceeded to smear it all over the walls and pour it on the roof.

Surrounding her was what looked like three full squads of armored, identical ponies. At the voice's command, they had backed up slightly, but still looked a little wary. The ponies all had white coats, she thought, and were all wearing the same golden and silver armor. Oddly enough, what little of their faces was displayed appeared to be the same from pony to pony.

Turning her head, she saw another three squads of identical guards, only these had dark purple and black armor, and were all of a darker coat tone. They did however, sport expressions of distrust similar to the other guards.

"Either someone put something in my drink, or something really weird happened," Lindsay said, drinking in the sight of the guards. Something smiled further past them, and she gaped.

Two ponies stood on a dais, and the taller of them was smiling at her still.

Hello, little one. I am Princess Celestia, and this is Princess Luna,” the smaller, darker one nodded, looking rather shrewdly, “and we are the co-rulers of Equestria.” Lindsay nodded, still a little confused.

“Wait, if you’re the Lunar Princess, then shouldn’t you be Princess Sol?” asked Messer, looking first at the taller, white-coated mare with the pastel mane, then at the smaller, darker-mane’d and -coat’d mare.

“well met, Princesses, I’m Lindsay Messer of the New York Crime Lab, and I-- I have hooves?!” shouting the last part, she regarded what had happened to her hands. The princesses frowned, obviously wondering why she had suddenly let out this outburst.

“Well, yes, you do have hooves. Why do you say that?” asked the smaller princess, Luna, as Lindsay continued to examine her hooves. The coat was an orange, and she looked over her shoulder at her hair, which was a rather subdued light pink color.

“I have never before had hooves,” said Lindsay, sounding, to the princesses, rather subdued.

“Um, Ms. Messer, the pony races have always had hands, where are you from that you haven't had hooves?" Asked the Sun Princess in a gentle tone.

"Where are we now?" Abruptly asked the newly minted mare; the Princesses shared a look, this one obviously meant no harm, but would have to be dealt with carefully.

"My dear, we are in Canterlot, the capital of Equestria," answered the younger princess, choosing her words with care.

"Hmm, obviously a play on Camelot, but altered to suit pony physiology. Interesting, the still-supine mare mused.

"Oh dear. One of those again. Noteworthy," at this, a smaller pony rushed out of a side corridor, previously hidden by an artful tapestry, depicting some chimerical monster, "prepare a note to Twilight Sparkle, please."

The apparent secretary nodded, and took down Celestia's words, basically a BOLO for confused, "cutie-mark-less" ponies, who claimed to be from another world, as Lindsay shakily got to her feet and examined the tapestries and stained lass of what was now evidently a throne room.

The guards had vanished into normal air, which was convenient, seeing as they likely would've tried to stop her. Royal guards were the same the world over- grumpy and identical.

Some of the works depicted six multicolored ponies, fighting a variety of evils, while some depicted the two princesses fighting evil. One depicted Celestia seemingly banishing Luna to the moon, and Lindsay had just turned to the next one when Celestia spoke her name.

"Yeah, Celestia, what's up?" Lindsay inquired, and Celestia smiled warmly.

"Let's hear your story. Though we might want to move out of the thrown room, this is hardly the place for somepony's life story," she added dryly, to which all three ponies chuckled.

λ

Adam Ross awake with a feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach. He had no idea why, he had always felt safe in his house, but this… wait, since when had his bed consisted of a forest floor? He had slept in weirder places, though he was wondering why he hadn't used some sort of sleeping mat, most of those forests weren't pleasant on the back, though this one was likely the exception to that.

It was cool, almost to the point he was feeling cold, and it felt almost fetid. Not at all like a decaying corpse, which he had extensive experience with, or sewage, which he had more experience with as the new man, but thankfully he hasn't had to wade through too many open landfills.

Then the stench increased sharply, and he reflexively gagged, opening his eyes when the stench abated enough.

Adams eyes shot fully open, and then some, upon what he saw-- a wooden dog, staring him, with phosphorescent green eyes.

"A… wooden dog," observed Adam, quite intelligently. The dog snarled, tilting his head.

The food was supposed to cower, and whimper, not frown and ask questions as to how a dog made completely out of wood was logically possible. The wolf was hungry though, and he needed to eat something, and this pony was conveniently placed, so why not? The entire timberwolf race was opportunists, so when this small thing had dropped out of the sky, the dog was quite happy to take advantage of a free lunch, though it was getting rather tired of its questions.

With a roar, the wolf launched forward, interrupting whatever Adam was thinking, and instead replacing it with a yelp that struck the hungry wooden hound square in the muzzle, doing nothing at all. At he same time, Adam instinctively threw up an arm-- or leg and hoof, as he saw-- to try and block it, but to no avail.

The timberwolf ripped into his arm, the sharp teeth causing massive damage and causing blood to spurt all over him when he removed his teeth, unplugging the wound. The blackness comes quickly, but he holds it at bay as he struggles with the wolf, trying to throw it off him after the sudden attack.

Adam's unable to do so, however, and he starts fading as he registered another presence nearby- one that radiated a sense of unease.

The thing roared, and the wolf, stepping away from what had been a tasty meal and cowering.

It roared again, speaking that time, but Adam was too far into the black to notice.

λ

A Clockwork Town

Mac turned to Stella, a grin on his face.

"I think I'm about to die from cuteness overload," he said, jokingly, as the young ponies led their find towards their friends. Quite quickly, a new pony sprang out of the brush, looking panicked. A second pony joined her, and then a third.

"Oh, crusaders, where were you?" Asked the first pony, a lavender unicorn.

"Oh, we found some new ponies, who were wandering around the Everfree," responded the unicorn filly, and the pegasus filly rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and what were they doing there in the first place?" She asked, sounding distrustful.

"Oh, um, excuse me, I don't think we know each other. I'm Dr. Sheldon Hawkes, and this is Detective Stella Bonasera and Detective Mac Taylor," indicating the ponies and regarding the other, now numbering six, ponies, with a questioning look.

"Ah'm Apple Bloom--"

"-- I'm Scootaloo--"

"-- And I'm Sweetie Belle!"

"AND WE'RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" They ended with a yell that would've put a football stadium to shame.

"Ahem, yes, well, I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash," Twilight introduced, gesturing first to the butter-cup yellow pegasus and then to the cyan flier. When she was introduced, Fluttershy hid behind her mane, and squeaked softly.

Stella turned to Mac, seeing as how he was the one who typically took initiative in theses sorts of situations. The pony in question had a faintly surprised look, mirroring Hawkes' dumbfounded expression.

"And we should be going," muttered Twilight, sounding rather bemused at what was going on.

"This seems like an oddly peaceful, if certainly surreal, little town. In fact, if I hadn't known better, I'd think I'm tripping on acid,"said Mac, sounding happy. Twilight turned around at this last part and stared at him.

"How does one… trip on… acid? Aren't acids liquids? And furthermore, what does that have to do with us?" She concuded, looking intensely curious.

"What Mac meant to say was that this a pretty nice place you got here," Hawkes hastily responded, as Taylor rolled his eyes at their lack of simple drugs such as the potent hallucinogenic LSD.

"And here we are! This is my home," Twilight proudly stated, and the team shared a look.

"Um, Twilight, why are we at a tr-- a library. Of course," she ended on a sigh as her searching eyes found the sign that had an open book carved into it.

"I'm assuming you'd like to know where you'll be staying while in Ponyville, since you're the new ponies--

"NEW PONIES? Ooh, I love new ponies, what's your name? I'm Pinkie Pie, by the way, nice to meet ya, and anyway, I need to throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! What's your names anyway? I need to know to put them on the poster, plus it's nice to make new friends," the pink mare exhaled, and everyone blinked.

"Hello, Mrs. Pie, I'm sure your party will be quite special, with any luck, we'll be able to come," said Mac, sounding amused.

"Why come y'all don't have any Cutie Marks?" Asked Apple Bloom, sounding worried. They had held a conference while this was happening, and had finally gotten back.

"What?" Asked Hawkes, sounding extremely intelligent, "Cutie Marks? Pardon?" The Crusaders shared a look.

"Where are you from, that you don't have Cutie Marks?" Sweetie Belle asked, sounding worried.

"They're from… where are you from, anyway, Detectives and Doctor? I don't believe you've said. From your accents, I'd say Manehattan, or Neigh York, but I'm not sure," Twilight asked, sounding intensely curious. She caught the teams attention, however, at the mention of of the two pony cities.

"Well, we are actually mostly from New York, though Stella has some quite a bit Greek ancestry, and knows rather a good deal of their language and culture, and Hawkes is of African descent. I'm a--" Mac was interrupted by a noise, one that sounded oddly like Danny, much to the teams' surprise.

With a thump, he landed on the ground in the middle of their little circle, and immediately stood up. His eyes opened to the size of a small continent, when he saw the ponies that surrounded him.

"How are you alive? You fell from high enough up that you can't be alive!" Twilight said, breaking the silence.

"It appears that I'm not dead, and am I really in--"

The Bronx boy was cut off when Mac reached up and placed a hoof over his mouth.

"Don't say it. Bad things will happen. At least you explain a lot," he muttered.

Just then, a mint-green pony bounced up, looking like her face was going to split from the smile on it.

"Hi! I'm Lyra, and you're a human!" She stated, rather obviously.

"Actually, Ms. Lyra, my name is Danny Messer and yes, I am a human. Though you all seem to be ponies. And I still can't believe it!" He ended excitedly.

"What can't you believe?" Asked the Crusaders, who had been sitting in the background, confused.

"Uhh… that I finally found… you guys! Hey you guys!" He stuttered, then Danny recovered, embracing his pony friends and colleagues in a hug.

Over Danny's shoulder she saw Lyra join the group hug, her massive grin replaced with a simple, smaller smile.

"And Lyra, I'd be honored to stay with you. Though I might need to find somepony else, Mac. I'm assuming you ponies have found someplace to live?" He said, finally turning to the team, as he left Lyra with a look of simple joy on her face, and saying something about an actual human.

"In reality, we haven't. In fact, We haven't met anypony beyond Twilight Sparkle herself, Fluttershy, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders," he said, Fluttershy having apparently left to take care of her animals.

"Oh, well I suppose you can stay with Lyra, though we'll need to find places for the rest of you. Doctor Hawkes and Detectives Bonasera and Taylor can stay with me. I keep a couple of guest rooms, seeing as Ponyville doesn't have a hotel. Well, we--" the unicorn was cut off when a voice began shouting, rather close by.

"Twiliiight! Where are you?" A purple and green dragon rounded the corner, and the team's jaws collectively hit the ground and came out in china.

"It-It's a m-m-monster! Twilight, do something!" He yelled at her, and Danny rolled his eyes.

"That's not a nice way to talk to visitors, Spike! You really should apologize," said Lyra, sounding rather angry.

"I've been called a monster before, but it wasn't in quite this context," joked Danny, smiling to show it, and he continued speaking, "and my name's Danny Messer. Nice to meet you, little one.

"And I'm Spike! Sorry for being so rude, but I've never seen anypony like you!" He finished, sounding anxious that the newcomer would accept his apology.

"It's okay, Spike. In all fairness, I never seen a talking dragon either," Danny deadpanned, an his teammates chuckled.

"Where do you come from that you don't have dragons?" Asked Twilight, sounding curious about this new species that had fallen out of the sky. He had opened his mouth to respond, when a snow-white unicorn trotted out of a store nearby.

She gasped, stumbled back, and stared at Danny with unreserved horror. There was a moment of silence as the curly-purple-maned unicorn gaped, clearly taken aback by something about him.

"Just as Spike finishes apologizing, someone else has to go and stare," said Hawkes, sounding amused.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm Rarity, but my dear, you simply cannot go  lookin like that. Why, that hideous white lab coat, and those blue pants, and and that awful checkered shirt! I simply must make you a new outfit. I insist! Come along now dear," Rarity said, gesturing with a hoof towards her shop.

"I have no currency, and, um, are you sure you could design something for me? It seems like you work primarily for these ponies, and I doubt I have dimensions like that," he explained, as Rarity looked at him. Then she laughed.

"Oh, I see. A gentlecolt that refuses to take advantage of somepony, and who doesn't want to be too much of a problem.

However, I would consider it a pleasure to make you new clothing. I would also enjoy the challenge of working on your… unique form." She explained, batting her lashes at him.

He rolled his eyes and walked into the store after her, just as Flack trotted around the corner, accompanied by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Fancy seeing you folks here," Flack said, as he loped towards his friends.

"Look, Twilight, Mr. Flack doesn't have his cutie mark but he joined us so he could get one! He said that he's a special case, but does this mean we won't be getting ours anytime soon?" Applebloom gushed, sounding both happy and scared.

"Wait… where's Sid and Adam? I know Sid fell in wih me, but where's Adam?" The others looked at each other, and they collectively sighed.

"He flew into a magical world full of evil and friendship, I'm assuming," said Hawkes, in a surprising sardonic tone.

"Well, while Pinkie Pie plans a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party for us, why don't you show us around, Twilight?" Stella said, surprising her.

"Oh. Well, sure! While we wait for your friends to show up, there's the Carousel Boutique, where Rarity and Sweetie Belle live, and Rarity works on making dresses, and that's…"

λ

And Then There Were None

Earlier in the day--

Flack finally found someone in the otherwise deserted lab.

Sid Hammerback glanced up as the street detective entered his lab, quickly closing the Backtrack terminal and opening the Windows terminal.

"How can I help you, Flack?" The M.E. asked, noting the concerned expression Flack wore.

"I'd like your help in investigating what happened to the rest of the team. They're all gone!" He finished, peering around the morgue as though expecting someone to pop out of the body drawers.

"I've come to the same conclusion, but I'm not sure why everyone has suddenly vacated the premises. Though I suspect we'll find the answer in a manner that doesn't involve just talking about it," Sid said, determining that he would find out what had gone wrong.

"Of course, lets go."

They traipsed up, and Flack turned to Sid, a conflicted expression on his face.

"If the shootin' starts, Sid, could you do me the favor of not dying?" Flack asked, and Sid grinned, fanning his coat to reveal the pistol neatly tucked away. Flack rolled his eyes, and Sid grinned, and the pair advanced.

They approached the only thing in the level that was out of place, as a sense of unease nestled itself over Don's head, and a curiosity filled Hammerback.

"Is that little black box, the one lying on the floor there, carelessly thrown, the reason why this place is as deserted as Chernobyl?" Sid asked, confused. Flack opened his mouth to respond, but a bizarre peach-colored light emanated from the box and beat him to it.

λ

Adam blinked himself awake, sensing he was in a dark environment as he did so.

"Ah, good. You are awake. I was worried something terrible had gone down with you, but no. You are all in order," said a mysterious voice, about six feet away.

"Who… who are you?" Adam asked, not moving anything other than his mouth.

"I'm not quite sure myself. Though I think I'm known as Sathsiguopula, or Galt, for short. What do you go by, little pony?" The voice melodious, multidinous, liquid, calming, sinister and surreal all at once.

Adam Ross opened his eyes at last and found himself facing a floating, many-tentacled, hundred-eyed beastie.

"Hello, John, I'm Adam, um, Adam Ross, from the, ah, New York crime lab, and if I may ask, erm, what-- what happened to my arm? My-- hoof?" Adam stuttered at first, but then his tone changed to horror when he raised what he noticed as his left hoof and saw that it was a metallic, dull grey color, midway to the shoulder blade past the elbow.

"The timberwolves attacked you before we could stop them. One of them bit your elbow, and ripped it to veritable shreds. Had we not amputated, you would've died of something awful. We have given you a titanium-tungsten alloy prosthetic, with a few additional features. It's never going to break, and no timberwolf is ever going to remove it. Just, do us a favor, please, and not go into the Everfree forest?" The voice ended on a questioning tone, and Adam nodded, happy that he hadn't died a second time.

"Where are we? Does everyone look like you, John Galt?" Adam asked, starting to get over his fear now that he had understood he wasn't dying or being held by someone who wanted to inflict serious harm on him, though Adam was wondering if amputating a limb counted as 'serious harm'.

"We are in the magical land of Equestria, and we am the only one of this shape," he explained, sounding not the least bit concerned that Ross had no idea where he was.

λ

A tan pony in a well-made suit entered a darkened room. Inside, there were two boxes, illuminated by the rays of light that entered through the open doorway.

Not bothering to close the door, the figure opened the closest box, revealing what could possibly be described as a pair of hands, if fingers had six joints and were a porcelain white.

The figure reverently lifted them to the light, and admired the things for a moment. Choosing to put them back, he did so and instead opened the other box, revealing a pile of posters, all advertising a circus.

The dark-suited pony smiled slightly to himself, knowing that a circus would be a new thing in Equestria. And he would add an extra element that had not been seen for well over a thousand years.

The posters featured a large circus tent, with the words 'Equestrian Carnival' in bold print on top, with a list of dates and locations appearing in much smaller print at the bottom.

The middle of it featured a variety of carnival events, but what the pony enjoyed the most about it was the words 'Dritte obitelj' emblazoned in the background, amongst the happy ponies and cheerful colors. It was difficult to see, and even harder if you didn't know where to look, but it was plainly obvious to the pony.

He closed the box, and pulled a fedora from a hatrack that was swathed in darkness near the door.

The mysterious pony stepped into the afternoon sun and briskly began walking towards the Everfree.

λ

"I wonder what happened to my husband," Lindsay murmured, wondering what had happened to him.

"I dare say he'll be fine, Lindsay, and besides, there's no reason to fret over something you cannot change. That was a lesson that took me awhile to learn, but it was finally hammered in, as it were, when I made a mistake that cost me a thousand years, and the love of my subjects," Princess Luna said, ending on a melancholy tone. Lindsay frowned slightly, wondering what atrocity she could have done to earn such a punishment, so instead of wondering she asked her.

"Princess, what did you do? I mean, I've seen some awful stuff, but I can't imagine anything that would be worthy of a thousand years," Lindsay asked, trying to be understanding. Luna smiled; none of her subjects had ever had the temerity to speak this openly, and question their ruler like this, but this Lindsay Messer, she could be something new. It wasn't often ponies popped out of air, and claimed to be of another dimension.

"A thousand years ago, I became jealous of my sister and the way the ponies loved her day. I wasn't fond of the way they shunned my night, so I transformed into the entity known as Nightmare Moon. I was banished to the moon for a thousand years, where I pondered and hoped and hated and schemed. Recently, I returned, but the Elements of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and allowed me out," she concluded her speech with a slight gesture to herself, and Lindsay nodded, trying to absorb everything.

"Well, one, that whole "jealousy" thing got old with Cain and Abel, and two, that sounds like some type of mental disorder, but I--" the earth pony was interrupted by a roar.

"ART THOU INSINUATING THAT WE ART INSANE? WE ARE UTTERLY WITHIN NOMINAL MENTAL STANDARDS!" The sudden force of her voice caused the doors to blow open, or maybe it was Celestia, who was suddenly inside the room.

"Princess, calm down. I was just saying that it sounds like a mental illness. I never actually diagnosed you. Nor can I, so please calm down," Lindsay said, with the air of a young girl trying to calm the unicorn she found in the woods behind her house, which suddenly struck her as an odd thing to think of.

"Calm, Luna, calm. Remember what we talked about? The ponies will not accept you if you anger so easily. Are you icy, sister?" Celestia asked, concerned. Lindsay raised an eyebrow at this last term.

"I am, sister. And, Mrs. Messer, 'icy' is a term I thought up, one that means 'calm' or 'cool'.  Because anger is referred to as 'red-hot', the obvious correlation is 'icy' or 'frosty'. Pretty cool, huh? And who is Cain and Abel?" Luna asked, as Lindsay froze.

"I, for one, have always enjoyed the night, though in my profession, it often meant different things to different people. Um, the story of Cain and Abel. Well, Cain killed Abel 'cause he was jealous. Obviously, the analogy is incorrect, because Nightmare Moon didn't kill Celestia, but the theme of 'jealousy' still is relevant," she explained, hoping she could head off introducing Christianity to Equestria. They really didn't need it.

"That's horrible. Please don't tell me that all humans are like that?" Celestia asked Lindsay, who internally debated the best answer.

"In my profession, I've seen both sides. I've seen amazing heroism, and I've seen the darkest depths of the human soul. The human soul, who we are, is nothing but what we remember. The culmination of our memories defines us, and my memories are… mixed," Lindsay explained, as Celestia and Luna neutrally listened.

"What was your profession?" Luna calmly asked.

"I was a crime investigator for New York City, though with any luck I'll be back there soon enough," she said, not really believing her own words. The Princesses glanced at each other, seemingly holding a conversation, invisible and unknowable to mortals.

"Would you consider working in the same capacity for Equestria?" Princess Celestia asked, an eager undercurrent running past her calm mask.

λ

Assemble

Flack felt a lurch, like he had been shoved, and then he opened his eyes to a completely different tableu.

He was standing at the opening of an alley, and he stood stock still, trying to figure out in the name of the dark and powerful savior Cthulhu had just happened. Flack identified voices, and relaxed slightly, but continued listening.

Flack frowned when he realized that the voices seemed rather combative, and he continued listening, frowning when the words 'Cutie Mark' and 'blank flank' were thrown around, in a rather derisive tone.

Coming to the conclusion tha someone was bullying someone else, especially from the terms 'you'll never amount to anything' and 'don't even bother trying!' And he decided to do something.

He stepped out of the alley, and was confronted with the visage of a one-story schoolhouse, complete with bell. Flack directed his attention to the voices, and was confronted by the appearance of five horses, apparently on different sides, judging by the way they stood and looked at each other. Shaking off his system shock, he addressed the one wearing a … silver crown? and her friend, who had a tattoo of a spoon on her rear.

"Excuse me, but why are you two bullying these three?" Flack asked, his voice edged with steel.

"I- I- I tried to get her to stop," the silver-spooned one squeaked, and he heard she spoke the truth.

"I believe you, but you," he said, glaring at the silver-crowned one, whose arrogant mask wasn't slipping; yet, "that was inexcusable. Bullying these three? That's not right, and I expect you to apologize. Now." As he ended, her sneering mask returned, as she looked him up and down.

"Who are you? And what are you going to do to me, tell my parents? And besides, you don't know my parents, nor do you have any right to intrude on our conversation, so I I were you, I would keep your muzzle out of this," she sneered, turning back towards the other three, who were wearing identical faces of confusion.

"Oh, challenge accepted," he said, reaching out and yanking her ear with a … hoof? accepting it, he moved on and ignored her protests and turned to the other three.

"Where do I go?" Flack asked the three, and they recovered, enough to giggle at his continued clenching of her ear, and for them to trot past the schoolhouse, with Don in tow.

"Over here, mister!" The orange one said, as they approached a large group of ponies. Flack shrugged, and carried her over, and dropped her when she was near.

"Parents, I believe this young lady has something to say about her behavior," he announced, feeling odd, as he listened to the giggles of the three who had been bullied, as well as the silent horror of the silver-spoon'd one. As he was saying that, a pair of older ponies came racing down the street, apparently at the sounds of their daughter, but were bearing down upon Flack with looks that only parents with children who they think are eligible for sainthood can bear.

"Here come the drums!" Flack said, as they glared at him thunderously.

"What have you been doing to Diamond Tiara?" The father asked, obviously in reference to the little one he held in his mouth.

"Little three, how long has she been doing that to you?" Flack asked, ignoring the parents' indignation.

"About two months," said the one with a white coat and purple-pink mane.

"I hope you understand that your daughter has been bullying these young fillies. I don't know what was going on between them, but I know it was wrong nevertheless. I leave her in your custody," he said, releasing the little bully and pushing her towards her now thunderous parents.

λ

The team watched with amusement as the little filly was hauled off, and the three little ponies turned to Flack.

"Thanks, mister! She was being really mean to us, but her parents sure will put a stop to that," said one of them, with a thick southern accent.

"Hey, do you ponies want to join our club?" One of them asked, a pegasus with a slightly idiosyncratic helmet.

"And what club might this be? I'm assuming it's something for blank flanks, since us new folks don't have them, nor do you," asked Danny, with an odd amount of foreknowledge.

The three little ponies stared in shock, their plan collapsed without them saying a word. Twilight Sparkle arched an eyebrow at him, wondering how he could have known that. He caught the look they were all giving him and shrugged, lifting up his shoulders.

"What can I say? I was an enterprising little spy before I joined the army, so I'm used to knowing that. Plus Danny and Adam's reaction kinda gave it away." Mac explained, and Hawkes gasped.

"You saw"

"Yes, Hawkes, hard to believe, but I did." Suddenly, flack spoke up after Mac had finished speaking.

"Rainbow Dash for the win!"

"She suits you, you old blue boy. Personally, I always preferred Twilight, since she was always into books and following the rules," Mac confessed, a small smile gracing his muzzle. Twilight glanced at him, and then at flack, who suddenly had a sheepish expression and an interest in his new hooves.

"Um, where do you know us from?" Twilight asked, her hostess manner shifting to one of curiosity. Her question evoked a paralyzed response in Mac, and Flack decided to examine the nearest cloud. There were several seconds of silence as Mac pondered the feeling of death, his wife, and how he was going to avoid causing a paradox of some sort.

"Let's go to Pinkie's party, huh? She should be done setting up," Mac said, and the rest of the team nodded, all of them aware of what the pink party pony was capable of.

Sure enough, as they walked down the street, the little town seemed almost deserted, despite the relatively short amount of time that had passed.

When they reached the library, it was dark and the team, plus Twilight, plus Fluttershy, who had apparently finished feeding her animal critters filed in, and they shut the door behind them.

"SURPRISE!"

λ

"Why don't you lift up your, ah, front things so I can measure you?" Rarity asked Danny, as he watched his friends and colleagues, in pony form, through the front window.

Danny did so, and the fashion designer reeled a tape measure into her magic, using it to measure just about everything; she wasn't sure exactly what she might need to know, but it's always good to be prepared.

Rarity saw the small of Danny's back, which had an odd lump on it about the size of bitcoin, but a little bigger. And rather hideous looking, too. She paused, and poked at the skin, which had been revealed when Danny's shirt rode up a little high.

"Please don't touch that. It still hurts," he said, surprising her. To all appearances, it was merely a rather horrendously ugly lump, but it obviously meant something rather significantly more than that to him.

“Whatever happened, my dear?” Rarity asked, not really thinking, just marveling at what could have happened.

“I was shot protecting someone I loved. I still love her, though I am not sure where she is or if I’ll ever see her again. Doesn’t mean I can’t love her, and hope to be back with her." Danny finished his speech by turning back towards the shocked Rarity, and continuing, "And for four months, I was in a wheelchair, and when I started to walk again, every step was like a fiery agony. But pushed through it, for me, my family, and my friends. Any other questions?"

"Yes, what is that odd discoloration on your shoulder? That unnatural black formation cannot be normal! My dear, I must get you to a hospital!"

And with a sigh from Danny, and a BAMF of teleportation from Rarity, they were in the lobby of the hospital.

λ

Celestia was at day court, when her friend and secretary Noteworthy approached her. She gently silenced the currently speaking griffin ambassador, and took the note Noteworthy proffered. The ambassador squawked loudly, but he finally quieted down enough for Celestia to read the note-

My dear sister Celestia,

We were resting when we felt a shift, a change, in the magical energies. We didn't want to interrupt your friend Silvertongue, but we feel this is of import.

We weren't sure what exactly it was, but then we recognized it. It is an old and dangerous magic that has been long forgotten, by apparently has been resurrected. We concluded that it came from the general direction of the Everfree, where the Elements of Harmony reside. Since it could be potentially dangerous, we are going to take a company of night guards to investigate.

If we find anypony, they shall be dealt with diplomatically. Believe it or not, sister, we have learnt to be polite. And we try to reserve the Royal Canterlot Voice for nopony, since calmness and patience seems to work better than anything else.

Celestia sighed, and resigned herself to hoping that Luna would do her best. She had indeed been getting better at diplomacy, though very few ponies chose to petition her at her night court, which probably bored Luna right out of her crown, but at least her little ponies were getting used to her.

λ

Luna frowned, turning to her commander as she did so.

"Commander Glass Sight, are your men sure that they have found no sign of the being?" She inquired, wondering how much more of the Everfree they would have to tramp through before they found the source of that evil death-magic. She wanted to protect her subjects, and decided to continue searching, instead of wondering where it could have come from. Luna could not have mistaken that signature, but was hoping that she was wrong. Bone-spelling was a dangerous thig, and the last pony to do it unleashed an unspeakable evil.

"Princess, we are quite sure. However, we will continue searching until we find it." His two glass eyes-- his namesake, for he had been lost his eyes in a horrible training accident and had opted to have enchanted glass eyes made -- twitched slightly towards a bush, which momentarily was shoved aside by a pony, who reported in the continued absence of anypony, or thing, for that matter, that could possibly have had done that.

"So it goes," Luna muttered, and the search continued.

λ

With a lurch, Sid felt a movement. He blinked, and upon opening his eyes, he was faced with what looked like a continent, though it was most assuredly not one he recognized.

As the enviable reliability of physics and gravity took its unshakable hold, he began falling. It wasn't long before he reached terminal velocity, but took awhile longer before he hit the ground.

λ

Waking Up

Chapter two: Waking Up

 Mac shifted his shoulders, and felt what he was lying on, but didn't open his eyes. In fact, he regulated his breathing, so that anyone listening or watching would think he was still asleep.

With no small amount of surprise, he noted that he was lying on a forest floor, and he opened his eyes, slowly getting to his feet as he did so.

His eyes shot upon when he found his legs; more accurately, his knees. They bent in totally the wrong direction, and Mac braced himself for an explosion of agony. None came, and Mac decided to take a better look around.

His hands and feet had both been replaced with hooves, and his skin was a battle-ship steel gray. His hair, or mane, as he supposed, was a shock of surprisingly blue hair.

The bigger surprise, however, came when he looked over his shoulder and found a big, beautiful, steel-gray pair of wings.

The biggest surprise came when someone shrieked. It sounded distinctly like Hawkes, who Mac remembered was at the crime scene with him.

Shrugging, he headed over to where he head the noise come from, and found Sheldon Hawkes, albeit one with bright green skin -- coat, as Taylor corrected himself-- and neon pink mane, and sporting a horn, which he was rubbing and glaring at a tree as though it had insulted his mother.

"Hello Sheldon," simply said Mac, and the doctor turned and sighed, his face looking remarkably liked the human-form Hawkes he had known just a few short minutes ago.

"Stella's over there," he responded, sticking a hoof in the air to indicate the direction, as he continued, "and she's got a pair of wings just like yours. I, however, got a lovely horn. Now lets go wake her up, and find out whoever lives here, and we can be on our merry way." Taylor detected a hint of something in his voice, at the end. Was it derision? Confusion? Anxiety?

Mentally shrugging it off, he tried to carry on walk on two legs, but instead stumbling, not falling only by the din of his wings flaring out and abruptly flapping twice.

To Hawkes' amusement, Mac was hovering above the ground, his gray wings brushing the trees to either side.

"Well, that's new, even for you, Mac," stated a familiar voice, in a sardonic tone, as she emerged from the densely packed underbrush.

"I'd like to state that I don't think this is a mass hallucination, or an extremely advanced simulator. It is my belief that we have actually been transported, somehow, to an alternate world where the dominant species is ponies," he finished a serious look on his muzzle.

"thanks, Sheldon, now we just have to find the locals," stated Mac, as he took a closer look at Stella. She was a brown color that reminded him of the brunettes on earth, and her mane and tail was a vibrant orange, with a darker red streak.

"No problem, now we should likely--" Hawkes was cut off by a shriek, and the team looked at one another.

"Sounds like someone's in trouble," Mac said.

"Better go help them," Stella responded, and the other two nodded, and set off in pursuit of a second scream.

Within twenty seconds, they had found a group of three younger horses, or ponies, in a small clearing, as well as something that shocked the team into silence.

Snarling furiously was a wooden dog, standing at head height, and headed straight towards the young ones.

"Well this is new," said a dumbfounded Stella, as she stared a the dog. It's head snapped towards them at the new noise, and it snarled again, growling.

This time, it charged, and while Mac and Stella went into the air, Hawkes was left on the ground. The timberwolf charged at its only target left, the neon green doctor.

With a shout and horrified expression from the fillies, the dog charged.

Mac, unable to leave his friend behind, dove at the dog and kicked its neck, wishing he had some sort of weapon, but his hooves would have to do.

The wolf's neck gave a sickening crack, and it's luminous green eyes faded. It slumped to the earth, whereupon it dissolved into a pile of sticks, leavin nothing to indicate it had ever existed except for a pile of wood and the memories of the six present ponies.

"Thanks folks, but ya might want te be careful, those timberwolves usually attack in groups of three," said one of the fillies, just as there was a rustling from the trees. Stella flew down, albeit more than a little awkwardly, and peered in, ready to move away at a moments notice.

To everyone's surprise, they heard the rustling move away, and a second patch of forest twitched, only to move away. Mac could have sworn he saw one of the wolves grinning slightly as they retreated.

"We better going before more of those timberwolves come," said one, a unicorn with white coat and a purple mane.

"Do you know where your friends are?" Asked Stella, and the younger ponies nodded.

"Lets go then, I'd rather not stay here much longer than necessary, his forest is starting to creep me out." Requested Hawkes, extracting a mix of surprise, confusion, and suspicion.

λ

Lindsay frowned, wondering where everybody was. Normally, there would be at least a few people, and she was sure Adam was supposed to be here, but there was a suspicious lack of people.

Peeking into Ross' work area, she noticed something was terribly wrong-  the box they had found on the horses chest was out in the open- not in an evidence bag.

Making a mental note to berate the young man for what he had done, she used a latex glove to put in in a bag, and then turned to the phone.

On her way there, her eyes accidentally fell upon the results of the x-ray Adam had ran prior to his mystical disappearance. After that, her eyes, attention, and jaw all fell off a metaphorical cliff, picking themselves up at the bottom and wondering how to get back up.

Rolling her eyes, she reached for the phone and dialed first Mac, then Stella, then Hawkes, then Danny. Finally, Danny Messer picked up, and she began talking.

"Okay, Danny, I have something. Neither Mac, nor Stella, nor Hawkes are responding. I was looking at the scans Adam ran, who magically disappeared as well, and they say that is nothing but pure energy in it. I th--" she was abruptly cut off when a solid blue light emanated from the energetic box.

She faintly heard Danny yelling, and then everything was nothing.

λ