Fox-Fyres at Midnight

by DarkParable

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 7559

The tale of a unicorn with a rather unique talent, and even more unique living arangement

We all know ponies can be a little... Well, lets call it bigoted,when it comes to anything outside the norms of Equestria. Heck, just look at how they reacted to a zebra in town. Well, this here's the story of a certain unicorn who just didn't fit in anywheres. Kindly sit back, shuddap, and avoid the poison joke fields for the love of Luna.

Published 2013-08-15 16:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-30 01:44:53 UTC

In the beginning there was probably some stuff.

Well, when telling a story it's usually best to start right at the beginning and continue on from there. Lets do that shall we? We shall, and you're going to bucking like it!

Ahem...

A mare of stately silver coat writhed under her sheets, her husband no where to be seen, though there was a curiously stallion shaped lump beneath the covers. "Oh Celestia yes! Right there, right th-"

NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! Too far back, far too far back.... Just forget you saw that... I know I'd like to. No one should have that image of their mother in their head, now should they?

Lets fast forward a little bit, like oh say nine months or so later? Sounds jolly good to me.

In the fall there was born a lovely little colt, and damned if his folks weren't proud of what they'd managed to bring into the world. Flash Dancer, this colt's mother, was a mare who's coat shone a lovely silver sheen with a mane of bronze. Fitting coloration for a metalworker who specialized in making high end jewelry that usually was formed of those two metals polished till they glowed.

The father of the colt in question was a deep dark color, something in the vicinity of what one would find if the looked at the bottom of a well around midnight. Unlike most ponies, that color was completely uniform for him, a solid black stallion by the name of Onyx Dust. Gems were his thing, and he had a real knack for making things like jet shine like stars. Dark stars, but stars all the same.

As one could guess this made the two of them quite the pair, a couple of ponies who payed the bills with ease due to their combined efforts in making things well worth wearing if one happened to enjoy such adornments. Their cutie marks were even fairly close to one another, both had a ring adorning their flanks, Dancer's made of bronze twined round some dark metal and capped with a bit of obsidian. Dust's was silver studded with little azure stones, the same color as his wife's eyes.

Now as much as has been said about these two, they're really only important in-so-far as bringing our hero into the world. Little Fox-Fyre, the colt currently wrapped in a blanket and held tightly to his mother as she smiled down at him for the first time, Dust looking on with a warm smile on his face. I suppose at this point it should be mentioned that this couple were earth ponies, so it should be a bit of a surprise that they happened to have a unicorn for a son.

Fox-Fyre, being a unicorn, of course had a little nubbin of a horn atop his widdle head. A horn mostly covered by the fuzz of his jet black mane... Well mostly jet black, an electric blue streak ran right down it proud as ya please. It went quite well with his silvery coat, close enough in color to his mother's to look much the same, if a few shades darker.

Now, being earth ponies, it was a bit odd that these two should have a unicorn for a foal, but hey, genetics are kinda weird that way in Equestria. Best not to question these things. Dancer and Dust sure didn't, they were just happy to have a healthy little colt, one who'd likely be turning heads when he came of age. Well, they were right, but for different reasons. He turned heads alright, but not because he was eye candy... That however is jumping far ahead, so that won't be told just yet. What will be told is the trouble one little colt can cause with random magic surges in an earth pony house hold.

A couple months after birth

Fox sat gurgling happily, his horn alight with an azure glow that matched his eyes quite nicely. Also wrapped in that glow were his folks, who were admittedly unperturbed by this. It was a rather common occurrence for them really, well common in so far as they'd quickly gotten used to being randomly freed from the confines of gravity and made to walk on the ceiling for a bit every now and again. In fact theres was likely the only house in Canterlot that needed to have their ceiling cleaned once a week to remove hoof prints. Not something one would normally think to remove from the upper reaches of one's home, no?

"He's at it again dear..." said Dancer with a sigh, her hooves busy fiddling with a bit of gold wire she'd been busy bending into shape for a horn ring some hopped up prince had wanted... Bluebutt or something like that. Whatever his name was, his money was good even if his manners left something to be desired... hitting on a married mare, the nerve.

"That he is... Well, the doc said those magic flare ups would clear up after a couple months, give or take a week... Hopefully this is the last time. I'm seriously considering attaching a chair to the ceiling with how often this goes on." replied her husband with a good natured sigh, as annoying as it was colts would be colts and their little Fox couldn't really help it at this age anyways.

Speaking of which, right as the last syllable left Dust's mouth, that lovely glow around the little unicorn's horn cut out, letting his parents drop unceremoniously to the floor. Fox found this to be very funny, laughing so hard he himself fell over onto his back and rolled about, apparently cruising to bust a gut. Then again, the little fella's point is kind of plain to see, a pair of ponies getting all tangled up with one another and landing with a little "Oof" was kind of funny... Just maybe not so much as Fox found it to be.

Whatever your view on the subject, Dancer and Dust's was that it was worth a laugh, mostly because Fox looked like a four legged silver pill bug rolling about as he was. Dancer made sure to snap a picture for blackmail later on in life. I'm sure if you listen hard enough you can hear the parental laugh of good natured evil. After all, what kind of mother didn't embarrass her colt when he brought home his first date via a photo album?

As far as days went in the house of Dust (as most other ponies called it) that was pretty typical. The three were quite a happy family after all, their days full of laughter and warm love... Sadly, such things can hardly ever last forever...

Author's Note

And so begins the Tale of Fox-Fyre, and as you can see from this, it's likely going to be mostly comedic. I hope you all enjoy t as much as you have my other works. This is more of a side project, something to give me a minor break from my main stories every now and again. That said, I will update it as often as my other stories if I can.

In parting, yes there will be a little bit of darkness in this story, but not enough, or so I feel, to warrant a dark tag.

Into every life a little rain must fall

Let us fast forward a bit... i do believe you've gotten the point that Fox's family was quite a happy one. It stayed that way for about two years, give or take a few seconds, and that's where we'll be picking this story up again.

The night was rather quite peaceful, as was often the case for Canterlot nights when there was no major function going on up in the Royal Palace. The moon shone down brightly on the beautiffic scene of a city at rest. The street lights cast pools of light amidst the otherwise silvery shadowed streets, the ponies were all at rest in their beds. On the other side of the city there was a rave going on, but that's neither here nor there really, dubtrot while twenty percent cooler than your average music wasn't something that appealed to everyone... Ahem, back on topic here... This stillness (on the side of town on which you should be focused... No watching the laser light show that Vinyl was using to accentuate her music when theres a story going on please) was perfect and absolute in its peacefulness. A peace that was rent as a cozy home near the outskirts of the city sudden burst into bright azure colored flames with a massive concussion of superheated air being displaced.

The boom was enough to rattle windows clear up to the palace (Though those ravers didn't notice because that boom happened just as Vinyl kicked off something with a seriously heavy drop) and startled more than a few ponies from their restful dreams. From picturesque nightscape of a city to overturned any mound in a matter of moments, thats a wonderful way to put what became of that peaceful night.

Canterlot's fire brigade was on the scene as quickly as it could manage to get there, which wasn't all that quick to be honest what with the crowds of half zombified ponies stumbling about the streets moaning out things like "Wazzat' noize?" or "hmmmuhhh?" So by the time they got there it was a bit late to do much of anything besides damage control. The unicorn members of the brigade, accomplished aquamancers and pyromancers one and all, got to work on taming the flames, flames that resisted their efforts with a gusto, devouring their magic like it was coard wood. After an hour's effort they were no closer to even attempting to put the fire out. Eventually the decision was reached to allow it to burn itself out.

By dawn the house of Dust was just that... Well more like ash, but the point stands. A once proud and welcoming home was now a pile of charred rubble still glowing a dull azure from the flames that were its doom... And the doom of two of the residents. The bodies of Dust and Dancer were recovered side by side, wrapped in one anothers forelimbs as they shared one last loving embrace before falling like chaff before Death's wings. Little Fox-Fyre on the other hoof was was sound asleep still, his horn flicking with faint blue flames and a much charred teddy bear clutched in his hooves.

That tragic accident, a magical surge of a rather destructive nature, robbed a little foal of his parents and forever marked him. No not with a cutie mark, but with the stigma of having been the reason two much loved ponies were dead and gone, their lives consumed in flame and lost forever. Ask anypony on the streets of Canterlot if the remember the Night of Ravenous Flames and you can be assured they're spit on the ground and curse that poor little foal who cost the city its best jewelers. A little foal who, so it seems, no one remembers bawling his eyes out as he was carried away from the charred remains of his home and given to the orphanage. A foal no one remembers as being frightened, confused, and most of all, alone for the first time in his short life.

A few years down the road.

"ROLE CALL!!!" rang out the voice of the matron, rousing the fillies and colts of the Little Garden o' Sunshine orphanage from their peaceful night's dreams and dragging them into the not so gentle embrace of a new day. There were no bright eyes or bushy tails here (sadly no squirrels either) save for one set of those things. Fox-Fyre was always quite happy to be awake it seemed. Granted he had reasons of his own for this, but he'd never told anypony and nopony had asked. The little silver unicorn stood at the foot of his freshly made bed, doing his best not to bounce in place at the pleasure of a new day full of opportunity to try and make a new (and first) friend. Besides, the matron hated it when he bounced, she said it reminded her of the pink devil she'd run into once.

The rest of the orphans were slow about getting into a similar position, and they all did so with much less cheer as a rather sever looking older unicorn mare came into the long bunk room that housed the foals. "Vrite... Let us get to zee vork zen children." she said, looking over a clip board that floated beside her. "Numbers von through cirteen, you are all on cleaning detail today. Fourteen through twenty, you are to vork on zee art projects for zee Princesses. Number zero, you are to continue with your normal job... Go and try NOT to kill anypony zis time you little demon." the matron, one Sweet Smiles, rattled off rapidly to her charges, glaring down at the only chipper face in the room.

Fox-Fyre was now eight years old, and the years had done little to change him in anything other than size. He was quite a lanky pony, a little taller than his fellow orphans and quite slender... Granted that was mostly due to mistreatment at the hooves his those around him. Other orphans got him to give them shares of his food. The caretakers ignored him unless it was to yell at him or tell him to do things, and ponies out on the streets would either spit at him or go out of their way to avoid him in violent ways... Tossed flower pots and the like. Fox took it all in stride. Mostly because he though it all it be some kind of game, a game he was fine with playing because it was all he could ever really remember. So its no wonder he just shrugged and went about his job... Following the head of the orphanage about in his spiky black collar and looking slightly murderous.

"Uncle" Shady Deals was a rather large earth pony who happened to live up to his name quite well, he was after all a don in the local branch of criminal elements. Was it any wonder this fellow liked to make use of the reputation of one little unicorn to ensure the cooperation of those who'd dare oppose him? Not really no. To Fox this was just another game. He looked mean for Uncle Shady, made the older ponies uncomfortable, and he got a cookie out of it. Seemed perfectly fine to him, sometimes Uncle would ask him to conjure little balls of flame, on those days he got two cookies and that was even better. He never had the heart to tell Uncle that it wasn't real fire, just an illusion... Fox Fires he called them, but the older ponies seemed to find them scary and it made his uncle happy so he did it anyways... Besides, the cookies were really worth it.

That was Fox's life for the last six years, wake up, wear a collar, look mean and stuff, get cookie, go get supper, go to bed, repeat. All in all, he liked it well enough... He just kind of wished that everypony would talk to him like his Uncle did. Uncle made him feel very welcome most of the time... Most of the time...

Author's Note

In the next chapter we see Fox's escape and the real beginning of the story... Yep, these last two were mostly prologue and set up. At its heart this is going to be a comedy story, and one that'll be kept light hearted as can be. This is as dark and depressing as I'll allow it to get, but it's important to understand why Fox turns out as naive as he does.

Mini chapter:Who's afraid of the... Little colt?!

"Well... This was unforeseen" Mumbled Fox's "uncle" as he stared down the group of stallions across from him and the oblivious colt in collar who was munching a large oatmeal raisin cookie at his side. Normally, it would have been a peanut butter cookie, but the bakery had run out of them that day so he got saddled with the cookie that causes trust issues among chocolate lovers everywhere. Fox himself didn't mind, a cookie was a cookie, was a cookie, was awesome! Shady on the other hoof was kind of nonplussed by the fact that his little pet attack unicorn was completely and totally wrapped up in his baked goods.

"What, that somepony'd eventually decide to stick a knife in yo's ribs, or that it'd usses what does it?" rang out the rather slow sounding voice of the head of the opposing group, a burly earth pony who's cutie mark was a pair of horseshoes wrapped in barbed wire. He, and his two lackeys, stood there, watching the crime boss with a lazy sort of confidence born from the fact that the colt that they all feared was too preoccupied om nomin' to be of any use to the overweight pegasus at his side.

"Hmm, oh no not that my dear Punched Plot... Still can't believe your mother named you that, what I didn't foresee was that I'd be buying my little pet here a piece of cake today in addition to a cookie. Fox, be a good boy and show our friends here those pretty flames of your's..." Shady Deals smiled slightly as he stepped back, leaving Fox there, licking a few crumbs off his forehooves.

Fox's eyes twinkled, a grin stretching over his face as he stood and shook himself a bit. This was his favorite game, and there was cake in it for him... Best day ever! Chuckling a bit he stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry at the stallions whom he'd been told to play with as his horn was surrounded by a soft azure light... A light that quickly grew into a raging torrent of icy blue flames. Fox locked eyes with the one called Plot (teehee) and his grin stretched wider.

The flames he called up danced along the walls of the alley in which they stood, slowly creeping towards Plot and company with a crackling roar and mounting heat. Fox's grin widened because that sight, coupled with the grin, always got the same reaction, and this time was no different. It was the widening of his playmate's eyes, the flaring of their nostrils, the loud whinny of fear and panic, and the sound of a loosened bladder pattering on pavement as Plot piddled himself in terror at the sight of the oncoming flames. Yep, always funny to the little colt, and it earned him some more sweets... He loved this game, shame no one else but Uncle Deals didn't seem to.

Chuckling a bit as the three stallions tripped over their own hooves in their haste to escape his little collared unicorn, Shady stepped up to Fox's side and patted him on the head. "Good boy, you can put em out now." No sooner had the words been spoken then those blue flames were just plain gone. Like they'd never existed at all. Funny that, but Shady wasn't one to question what worked for his business, and magic often defied explanations. He was still quite unaware that his little pyromantic unicorn pet was really an illusionist of high caliber, and that the flames were just a subtle bit of bent light and suggestion to trick the subjects of the spell into feeling the flames as well. Hence the heat. Fox wasn't about to tell him, he might not get his cake, and even worse, he might get pie instead... He didn't like pie. Too messy.

With that little episode out of the way (and Fox fed a pleasant piece of angel food cake) the two headed back to the orphanage, one of them smug, the other pleasantly full of cake and cookie. Rather a normal day for the two of them really.

An Empire Comes Crumbling Down

Some days its just not worth getting out of bed. Some days its not worth even opening one's eyes... Some days though are absolutely amazing, right up until a grand piano falls down atop you and you suddenly find out how it feels to be a pancake.

For those wondering it was one of the last kind of days for Shady, one of the first kind for Dame Smiles, and it was a fourth kind of day for Fox. For Fox it was one of those days that are just plain weird. No, not surreal weird, or even Discord is loose kind of weird, but weird in the sense that some Rube Goldberg shiz happened and you awake to find yourself not in your (not so) nice bed but surrounded by trees cuddled up with a porcupine... Yeah, that kind of weird.

Two hours prior to Fox in da woodz

"Zis... Cider jah? Cider is good. Shank you for zis Herr Shady, You make un old mare smile." Smiles and Shady were currently seated up in his office, chatting over a nice big bottle of hard cider that Shady had... acquired... earlier that day. You know, the usual business deal for his sort. Extortion and a few broken legs gets just about anything you could want from uncooperative merchants who happen to have thick walled wine cellars.

"That it is my dear. So, tell me something. How's our little cash colt doing? Haven't had to take him for one of our walks for a week." He chuckled softly, nodding to a black leash he had hanging on the far wall, one he used just to make himself feel all the more in control of the little unicorn he used for scare tactics.

Smiles frowned slightly before taking a long pull from her glass. "You call me up here for ze drinks und zen ask me about zat little... Little... Somezing or utter? I am not, how you say, surprised really, but I was hoping you vould finally shut up and be a good little boy for Dame Smiles tonight, ja? I even brought zee crop tonight." was her reply, one that brought a hit of red to Shady's cheeks and made him fidget a bit in hopes she couldn't tell that he had been thinking of doing something along those lines anyways.

"Zee little mon-stair is fine vrelly. Same as all zee other little brats. Granted all of zem haff not killed zeir families, no?" She finally said, chugging the last of her cider and swaying a little bit as her cheek flushed from the heat of the alcohol. Shady refilled her glass, only to have her take the whole bottle instead and just drink that.

It should be no surprise that the not so goodly matron of the orphanage was on the ground ten seconds later, having drunk herself into a stupor... One compounded by the fact that she kind of felt the need to say "Hello!" to the floor face first.

One hour before Fox in da woods

Shady really had no clue just why he was out at this time of night, probably something to do with boredom and a strange plot contrivance that would lead to his inevitable demise in a humorous manner... Wait what? Must have been boredom. Definitely only that.

In any case he found himself turning back towards the orphanage with a bag of doughnuts clenched in his teeth. Nothing went better with late night alcohol than sugar and grease. Fried dough had that in spades, even if they weren't really all that greasy to be dead honest. Shady was glad that Joe had learned to keep his shop open so late, gotta love back room deals... And colts who seemed to like to spread flames about like a mushroom did spores.

His musings were interrupted a cat flying straight at his face and the rather loud terrier that came following behind. Needless to say he lost his late night snack, the dog got those instead, even if it lost it's cat. Doughnuts gone, face being clawed, and none too happy, Shady went stumbling back, bumping heavily into a rickety platform, and sparking off a long chain of events that would end with this story moving on properly.

The immediate reaction to his cat-induced bump into that platform was to dislodge his clawed furry face hugger and send it running off into the night, yowling and hissing as cats are sometimes wont to do when the world refuses to give them their due... You know, namely everything they want when they want it. Shady found this satisfying, but couldn't resist yelling after it. "You better run ya pussy!"

Now his words carried over into a near by alley, timed and distorted just perfectly to get a poor innocent teenaged colt in trouble with a rather large burly stallion who took exception to those words and sent the teen flying with a rather... painful... buck.

The teen impacted a near by wall and dislodged a flower pot which fell down upon a board currently see-sawed over a stump with a half empty can of paint on the other end. Thusly red was a go, and thus flew straight and true through a window.

That window being broken startled a couple awake in a rather violent manner, Well if one considers sitting up in bed, blinking, and involuntarily discharging one's horn violent. Done twice over this had the unintended effect of undoing every knot for a three-hundred foot radius.

Now in this radius there happened to be a grand piano, currently hanging above a certain stallion who was busy scrubbing at the cat scratches all over his face. He had just enough time to think that he should've bucked Smiles before he asked her about his little attack unicorn before he was played out of this world by, of all things, chopsticks as the keys fell from the smashed piano in just the perfect way for that.

This piano falling and Shady being crushed brought about the fall of that platform, one which a crane had set, the one being used to hoist that piano. (damned irresponsible to leave that in the air, eh?) That crane fell, demolishing the front wall of the orphanage and tilting a few floors when they lost some support.

Most of the beds remained unmoved, but on the third floor, one bed wasn't nailed down like the others. Guess who's went sliding out the new giant bay window, down the crane, and came to a stop just in time to be catapulted off to land on an overnight delivery wagon bound for Ponyville by pegasus flight? Fox's of course.

Now, nopony really noticed the fact that a colt was getting a free ride because off that wagon went, Fox in tow, and the flight was smooth right up until they went over the white tail woods. Turbulence hit, forcing the flight a bit lower, low just enough for them to skim the trees. Good thing it did too, because Fox picked that moment to sleep walk for a glass of water, stepping right off and onto a tree. Now theres some unseen power that watches over fools and the brave... Or sleepwalking colts in this case, because he made it down from that tree without harm, got his water from a stream, and mistook a patch of moss for his bed.

And that's how Equestria was born... Wait what? Sorry no, that's how Fox was freed from life as a innocent little tool for a criminal stallion, a criminal empire came tumbling down, and Smiles learned never to drink again.

For those now wondering about the porcupine... Colt's are warm, and to be fair, that moss WAS it's bed first. It didn't mind sharing though, even if his new bed mate was slight hooves-y in his sleep.

Author's Note

Indeed that did just happen. You did just read that, and it is indeed quite cannon for this story. Hey, I never claimed this was going to be a serious story at all. Please put away the pitchforks... You're scaring me.

What a Prick

"Murmph... Who put steel wool in my bed?" asked an extremely drowsy unicorn colt who was blissfully unaware of what it was he was sharing a sleeping space with. Unaware right up until that something stretched and Fox was treated to a rather wonderful feeling... A bunch of quill in some rather uncomfortable places.

To be fair that porcupine wasn't too happy about that either, he did kinda get telekinetically tossed for it. There's a lesson in that folks. Don't wake a sleeping unicorn of any age by poking it with pointy objects all along its underside.

Now completely awake, slightly sore, and more than a bit confused as to just why there'd been a thorn bush with legs in his bed, Fox blinked slowly and took stock of his surroundings. He even made himself a mental check list. Grey, drab walls missing? Check. No lumpy mattress or scratchy blankets? Check. Comfy moss and really big white trees? Check. Completely lost? Quadruple check. Flip out? Currently in progress.

Had Fox been female he would have often been called a silly filly, as it was his freaking out was a good example of this. Now when most people freak out, they hyperventilate a bit, run in circles, and/or scream incoherently. Not Fox. No sir, his freak outs involved a lot more sitting quietly and letting his magic run rampant in the form of a rather impressive light show that usually reflected his mood. Therefor it is no wonder that in the early predawn hours Ponyville thought somepony had decided to raise the sun a bit early... And color it blue just for kicks... Also, the hell was Celestia thinking making it a strobe light?

Fox wasn't bothered by this of course, he was far too busy directing this huge outpouring of illusion magic into something visually impressive and fitting for his fear, elation, and confusion. His blue strobe light of a sun soon became several giant question marks that danced about one another in a complex and rather confusing swirl of contrails and motion. Those all blended together, the blue darkening to something two shades off from black. That formless shape soon became a roaring dragon of light that shot flames fifty feet skyward from it's mouth before it was consumed in its on conflagration and became a rather timid looking unicorn simulacrum that slowly faded from view. Fox by this point was sweating profusely and panting. Around his head danced tiny globes of bright azure fire that daintily touched the tip of his horn every now and again, washing warmth through it and soothing the jangled nerves of the colt.

Unnoticed in all this was the fact that Fox-Fyre's flank was no longer blank. Adorning his stately silver coat as bold as you please was a small globe of dancing azure flames, much like the one's currently orbiting his head in a rather passable imitation of a solar system model... Sans a few planets of course.

It'd be foolish to think that this light show, and the amount of thamaturlogical energy radiating off it would have gone unnoticed or dismissed, and in truth it didn't... But most of Ponyville was under the school of thought that unless the sun was up and it wasn't Nightmare Night there was no good reason to go investigate anything without the presence of Celestia's sun watching over the.

The key word is of course most, because there was one mare who'd been up that early anyways to do her job. Ditzy "Derpy" Doo was still blinking the afterimages from her eyes even as she winged her way in the direction of the still slightly glowing figure in the sky. Her normally slightly erratic flight path was further buggered up by her partial blindness and as such she just had no clue what went wrong... That poor tree (and the squirrels living in it) did though. A grey pegasus with a straw colored mane went right through em. Poor Scratt lost all his acorns.... again.

On the bright side though, her unintended and slightly sap-filled landing had put her right in front of a startled unicorn who apparently had a rather magnetic personality... Or his own gravitational field. Derpy didn't really care about that, she was just happy to not be hurt and to have come across somepony new. Especially one who looked as interesting as this little guy.

Silver, black, and neon blue. A rather striking and completely uncommon coloration. A spiky black collar and a mischievous, if startled, glint in his eyes. Yep, he looked like he'd be fun to get to know. Fox just thought that the mare who'd landed in front of him looked rather... well... Sappy.

Derpy was indeed covered in sap and loose plant matter, not that she cared much, and her slightly askew eyes instantly made Fox forget his confusion at waking up in someplace strange and completely unfamiliar to him. That and the rather charming smile this mare offered did much to comfort the lost colt.

"Hello there... Seen my mail bag?" asked Derpy, cocking her head and offering a hoof in friendship in a very literal sense of the words.

Fox blinked, clonked his hoof against her own, and frowned slightly. "Uhh... My name's Fox-Fyre... But all the other foals just called me demonpony... I guess that's my name then? Oh, and is that it in the tree up there?" he finally replied, all the while trying to pull his hoof away from Derpy's own... Yeah, tree sap had other ideas. Namely 'Muwahaha I am now GLUE!'

It should be noted that neither of them noticed a disgruntled critter of a rather prickly and point persuasion came trundling back to chew out a young unicorn about tossing other folks around. Well, chew out is a generous term for "Fill his flank full of quills."...

Welcome to a typical day in Ponyville

Ditzy what honestly amazed at what she'd just witnessed. Never before had she given thought to anything other than a being with wings being able to fly. Well, she had to toss that preconception right out the window now, who knows... Maybe that'd fly to. Not a moment before she'd seen the amazing sight of a unicorn colt skyrocketing upwards, propelled by self levitation, surprise, and a tail end full of quills. She'd also seen the ornery looking porcupine what pin-cushioned Fox get launched back the way it had come by the out burst of startled magic usage. Two non-winged flights in one day.

After getting the colt-turned-pin-cushion out of the tree he'd lodged himself in, and extracting the painfully placed quills, she soon had everything back to normal... Or at least as normal as things can get when Ditzy was in charge. Add in Fox and his slowly emerging exuberant nature and you had a recipe for decidedly abnormal. Which was, in a way, normal for Ponyville.

"Well, this has been a weird day." mumbled Fox as he plodded along behind the mare who'd introduced herself as Ditzy Doo. He was inclined to refer to her as "The weird lady" Not that he meant any offence by his mental naming of course, that's simply how his mind worked.

"Wake up in the woods, meet a weird lady, snuggle a spiky thing, get prickled by said spiky thing... Twice." Unbeknownst to him, his musings were quite audible to his guide. In his defense it was kinda hard to tell what she was thinking what with the wall-eyed-ness...ness. Again, don't judge the ramblings of the young, to him two "ness"'s made things all the more emphasized.

It was right then and there that Ditzy choose to break him outa his ramblings with a well placed question and a sudden stop that sent Fox chugging along right into her legs. Turning about she smiled warmly down at him, he'd kinda gotten reacquainted with the earth via his still smarting arse. "So, where're you from?"

Fox blinked, a slight flicker of pain crossing his face as he got to his hooves, and mulled that over before answering. "Canterlot... I live in an orphanage with Uncle Shady. He's not really my uncle, but that's what he told me to call him. He's real nice, he even gave me my collar!"

With the utmost pride the colt lifted his chin and showed off the black... Dear god's black leather collar with silver spikes adorning it. He was apparently unaware of the name plate on the front of it that read as follows. "Property of Shady Deals. If found, kill it, extremely dangerous. Careful, the little bugger bites and has this real nasty habit of immolating things." A bit long winded, but it got the point across nicely.

Ditzy blinked at this, not quite believing that the jubilant little colt (or at least jubilant after he warmed up to her) could be anything listen on that collar. As such she simply smiled a bit more warmly at him and produced a muffin from... Somewhere. Best not to question that one really. She carefully balanced it upon his nose, much to Fox's delight, and giggled quietly as he went cross-eyed to stare at it.

"Enjoy!" she chirped before resuming their walk. It had been decided that they'd walk back to Ponyville not too long after they'd met. The sounds of a young face being stuffed and the faint tinkling noise of magic in use filled the otherwise quiet White-Tail woods. Much better, a happy colt is a fed colt in Ditzy's opinion.

An hour and two more muffins later they finally reached Ponyville and were immediately greeted with a mild panic incited by, predictably, Twilight Sparkle. Apparently large scale illusions consisting over the woods are cause for these things in her mind. Who knew?

"Alright, That brings us to item number fifty-three. Applejack, you've got your rope, yes?" the farmer pony nodded, "In the event this is simply somepony showing off, just lasso them and we'll bring them back to the library for questioning. If it's some kind of new disaster (fifth one this week) we'll just use the elements."

It should be pointed out that there were six ponies not running about like decapitated poultry. Six mares who stood, or in one case bounced, in a loose circle as they went over a plan of action. Everypony else though, well they were rushing for their homes, and more importantly the fallout shelters everypony eventually built if they lived here long enough.

Ditzy and Fox took this all in with a bit of confusion. Sharing a curious glance and a shrug, the strode into town and right up to the six jewelry adorned mares who'd been debating going into the forest not a few moments before. Ditzy kinda wound up bumping right into the blue furred one and smiling sheepishly.

"Oops... Hiya Rainbow! Lookie who I met in the woods!" the grey pegasus chirped cheerily, rubbing softly at her snout. Rainbow had some rock hard flanks.

The interrupted mares turned to take a look and found a slightly crumb covered colt who was currently engaged in playing with a few stray motes of his electric blue magical fires. Apparently he did have a knack for flames, or so Ditzy thought. Seemed like fire happened to like him too seeing as to how he was unharmed by the azure flames despite their contact with his horn and or hooves whenever he chose to bat at one of them.

"OOooh!" came a sudden exclamation from a certain pink pony as she rushed in to join in on his little game. "Nyah! We iz katz!" she hastened to add, apparently finding it hilarious to not only earn a few odd looks from everypony present, but to go breaking into internet memes when the internet didn't even exist... Wait what? Hmm... Moving on, no clue what an inter net is though...

Fox, for his part, was more than happy to have a play mate who seemed to be enjoying the little game almost as much as he was.

Quick recap here for those playing at home. Early morning of Ponyville, little silver coated colt in a collar fit for a Diamond Dog pit boss, small balls of floating harmless fire, and Pinkie being Pinkie... Yep, It's certainly Ponyville on most any given day.... NARF!

Author's Note

Gods my standards have dropped it seems. Here lately I've been feeling very blah'd out and disinclined to write. Not quite writers block, more like writer's apathy. Either way its kinda obvious that my quality of work has suffered for this. I'll be working on getting back up to what I usually produce, hopefully improving upon that too... Please don't abandon me to the cold barren land of Noponyreadsmystuff. It's lonely there.

A brief blurb before settling in.

"So... What does THIS button do?" asked fox with all the nerve destroying, and patience killing voice of an overly inquisitive child who's asked the same question about twenty times in a row only to get the same answer.

"Nothing you need to worry about, now sit still. I can't run these tests if you keep fidgeting." Three guesses who went as said that, frustrated beyond belief by the sheer... wriggliness of the little colt who's horn hadn't quit glowing since she'd first seen him. This of course had led to their current arrangement. Fox sat on a small platform hooked up to an ungodly amount of wires and scientific equipment. So much so, in fact, that the colt could scarcely be seen beneath it all. A fact that Twilight was either oblivious to or uncaring of.

Her entire focus was on the read outs of her equipment and such. "Thamaturlogical essence levels are rather high for a colt his age, funnily enough I'd expect his illusion affinity from a filly. Oh well, no accounting for natural talents I suppose. Question is, why isn't he expending magic to conjure those... What did you call them again?"

"Uhh, you mean the little fireballs? Well... Uncle Shady always called it fox fire. He thought it was funny." came the distracted reply of Fox as he busied himself toying with a few wires. A pass time that further served to frustrate the eggheaded mare who'd decided that he warranted close study... You know, despite being a colt who liked to roam about and wasn't exactly prone to sitting still for a long while.

Not too bright some times is she? Or attentive really.

She failed to notice Pinkie pulling a Pinkie and swapping out Fox for a turnip. You'd think that would have tripped a few warning bells or something, but nope. The only bell that went off was the bell over the front door of Golden Oaks Library as Pinkie and Fox slipped out into the bright sunshine, laughing and plotting pranks for everypony.

Meanwhile, Rarity was flipping shi- Oh... Manners required when speaking of her not-so-royal marshmallow-ness. Having a moment would be the proper term. It had been her life long (at least since she got her cutie mark and started making things FABULOUS!) to open up shop in Canterlot some day. As such she'd kept abreast with all the important events of the capitol city. One such event had nearly made her sick upon hearing it.

The death of two of the most well known jewelry makers, two ponies whom she'd admired for their ability to create beautiful works of art for others to wear, at the hooves of their own colt had horrified her. She'd put it so far out of mind that it wasn't until she'd gotten home today that it had come flooding back to her along with the description and name of the killer colt... The same colt whom Derpy had brought to Ponyville.

This was most definitely the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! Though it would always take second place to a bad mane day. In fact it was so bad that Rarity couldn't bring herself to do much save run in circles muttering about murder most foul and demonic colts and what have you... Few sandwiches shy of a picnic basket if you ask me.

Back to Fox and Pinkie...

Out in the market square there was a fellow who often sold cabbages. No pony ever bought his wares much, but those who did swore by the deliciousness of his cabbage. Well, he was just about to loose one valued customer. Nopony ever told Pinkie that a "head" of cabbage was not meant to be taken literally... Or be pink either. It was no surprise then that she asked Fox to magic it up so that every cabbage spontaneously became the spitting image of her smiling laughing head. A quick illusion later and the peace of a slow market day was rent with a cry of...

"AH! MY CABBAGES!"