The sun shone down hotly on the vibrant desert-scape furnace, floating high at the peak of its daytime rule. Vast dunes and hills, covered with a plethora of rocks, cacti, and lizards, spanned to the horizon, no oasis to be found. A small plume of dust rose out from the side of a yellow rock mountain as a convoy of trucks raced around its sheer cliffs. The convoy consisted of a small leading jeep, a pair of troop transport-esc trucks, and a complimentary jeep to follow from the back. As the fleet of off-road war-trucks sped up the mountain a few of its occupants, sitting near the opening of the front most carrier-truck, exchanged some friendly drinks.
One beige-cladded mercenary laughed obtusely as he shook his drink holding hairy arm in the air. “Das v-what she said!” The other two men joined in the laugh at this punch-line, all clinking their whiskey bottles in laughter, and shooting back large mouthfuls of the harsh liquor. A few bumpy moments passed as the drinks were downed, before the joker got up, holding onto the rail above his head, and walked to the other end of the truck. There he found himself in front of the fourth and fifth occupants of the canvas covered carrier.
“Aah, yes, der’s nothing v-wrong with a beautiful Aryan girl! Unlike d’ease,” he said as he grabbed the chin of the tied-up occupant before him and forced them to look at him, “dirty dark haired girls!” His obligatory chuckle was cut short when the black-grey haired pony woman snarled at him,
“Get your hands off me you damned dirty ape!” Her raspberry-red eyes burned furiously as the gorilla-man frowned and slapped her away. He spit on the floor and walked back to his comrades, wiping his hands on his shirt as if he’d touched something dirty.
“See v-what I mean? Ekelhaften!” The apes glared at the kaki coloured pony as they huffed in agreement. Sitting up once more the mare felt blood trickle down her lip, grunting in displeasure and muttering,
“Fucking Nazis…. Always tying me up, the bastards.”
“You and me both, missy!” The woman turned her head slightly, trying to look at the person tied to her, a brown stallion sporting a bowtie and collar. “I’ve seen my fair share of Nazis, they really are never nice people, not even as apes it would seem. Although I guess techni-“
“Oh shut-up, Doctor, not the time for one of your ramblings. We have to figure a way out of this.” The doctor pouted slightly before straightening up, also turning his head to try and face his co-roper.
“Well if you want it done so badly why don’t you Daring Do something about it.” The middle-aged mare growled.
“Can’t you use your sonic bowtie thing to untie the rope?”
“Oh I’m sorry but if you hadn’t noticed I’m a little tied up at the moment!” Daring felt her skin boil, partly because of the Doctors overuse of puns, but mostly because he was being a general knucklehead. The hat sporting mare hung her head in thought, sighing harshly as her mind raced for a solution. The truck bumped violently causing the two tied up companions to bump heads. Oddly, this was the exact moment that the adventurer pony had an idea.
“Okay, Doctor, I have an idea…” She explained her plan to the time traveler as the convoy neared the top of the mountain.
......
The ape men raised their glasses once more as they glanced out the back of the truck at their fellow soldiers, noticing too late the sound of thumping hooves approaching from behind. Turning, the last thing the joker ape seen was Daring Do’s head as it butted him back and out of the truck, falling under the truck behind them. The duo worked in unison to stand on their hindquarters and fight off the fascist guards, slamming their bodies into the next guy sending him into the other.
The two guards fell backwards, one dangling over the edge, while the other fell back onto him. The guard on top of the other quickly stood up, pulling his knife out and holding it out defensively. Without hesitation the two explorers rushed towards the ape-Nazi, who swung at them with rage. As if on command the two swung around, stilling heading towards the ape, but also pulling on the rope with their bodies. Sliding into the knife as it was swung the rope was inadvertently severed, freeing the two travelers, who returned to four hooves.
Jumping back to avoid the next swipe, Daring Do lunged at the panicked mammal, sending the knife to the floor. She spun around and bucked him in the chest with her back-legs, sending him out of the truck and straight into the one behind them. The truck swerved as the body smashed into the windshield, blocking the vision of the drivers just as a turn approached. The body slid of the windshield just in time for Daring to wave to them as they drove right off the side of the mountain.
“Well that was rather-…” The Doctor was cut-off as he noticed the dangling man reaching for his gun. The brown haired stallion sighed, a frown painting on his face as he walked up to the ape, reluctantly pushing him out of the truck, his body slamming into the dirt. The jeep behind them swerved successfully out of the way, the soldiers in the back standing up with their rifles.
“Doctor, we could have used his gun!” Daring said with angry eyes looking around the transport for a weapon.
“How would you even use it? And have I mentioned before that I don’t-…” he was cut-off once again as a bullet whizzed past him, hitting the cab with loud crunch. “Oh for bloody hell can’t I ever get a word in!?” He nearly tripped as he was pushed from behind by Daring, the knife held safely in her mouth.
“Come on you blubbering fool!” She said, spreading her wings and taking flight out of the truck. Before the Doctor could ask about himself (most likely in a yelling fashion) the Pegasus woman flew back onto the roof of the truck. German yelling could be heard faintly from the approaching jeep as Daring Do reached her front leg over the side of the truck. “What are you waiting for!?”
The Doctor turned and jumped, interlocking his front leg with the Pegasus’s while grabbing onto the metal frame. With the woman’s help he ended up on top of the canvas cover, being led towards the cab. Shots rang out over their heads, but subsided as they neared the metal roof of the cab, undoubtedly the others not willing to risk friendly fire. Daring motioned towards the passenger side of the cab, wordlessly suggesting taking the guy on that side. The Doctor nodded, knowing he had no choice unless he was going to give up a regeneration to avoid killing some Nazis.
Eyes following the jeep in front of him, the swastika-clad driver didn’t notice the mare hanging outside of his window, nor the stallion outside of his passengers. Not until he heard a rather English voice did he notice something had been replaced, one ape for one Doctor. “You know you should really pay attention to your surroundings more.” The ape gaped at the pony sitting next to him before glancing at his mirror to see a body rolling away, the jeep approaching. In the corner of his eye he noticed something else as well.
Daring’s fist struck the ape right between the eyes as he turned, smiling manically as she then reached to open the door. With a nod to the Doctor she swung her head up out of the way, allowing him to push a flustered Nazi out of the door and onto the road, rolling away like a ragdoll. Quickly his position was filled by Daring, swinging down and into the truck with ease.
“Haha alright! Good work Doctor!” The Doctor smiled only slightly, unsure.
“I wouldn’t say one of my finer days, though.”
“Ah come on, cheer-up, we’ve got a relic to protect!” The Doctor laughed at that, turning to the now driving mare.
“Well, before you start celebrating now, we still have two jeeps to deal with.” glancing out of his window he added, “One of which is getting a little too close!” Daring Do checked her mirror, swerving in front of the jeep in an attempt to not allow it passage. Back and forth, back and forth the two vehicles danced, fighting for control of the dirt road. The top of the mountain was approaching quickly when the jeep finally made its way alongside the truck, its occupants preparing their rifles.
However, when the apes peered into the windows there was no one there, and as they went over a bump the driver door swung open. The apes frowned and looked at each other, not noticing, once again, until it was too late the shadow which enveloped them. Suddenly a brown blur smashed into one of the apes, squishing him onto the floor. Looking up one of the apes seen a flying pony’s hoof right as it crashed into his face, sending him over the edge of the jeep.
The remaining gun-holding ape pointed its gun at the passing-by mare as she flew around for another attack. His finger began to pull back on the trigger, but just before he shot, a brown leg smacked his gun, sending it over the side of the jeep as its bullet was fired.
“I. REALLY. HATE…” the Doctor gave the ape an uppercut, sending him over the edge as well before finishing, “GUNS.”
As they rounded a sharp bend the vacant troop-truck flew off the road, smashing into and then rolling down the side of the mountain. The jeep driver was fiddling for his gun as they finished turning, trying to remove it from his holster. All was in vain as Daring Do flew into him, knocking him out cold, while she landed in the passenger seat, proceeding to push him out and take his place. The Doctor climbed into the seat next to Daring as they sped towards the leading jeep, which contained the leader of the near defeated Nazi squad.
“Don’t worry Doctor, only two guys left.” Daring said, giving the Doctor a playful smile, which he returned with a roll of his eyes. They could see that the top of the mountain lay ahead and soon they found themselves on the flat sandy peak. The desert stretched out all around, the horizon much further than usual. The jeep turned sharply, heading across to the opposite side and stopping. The two occupants got out, one a soldier, the other his commander. The soldier drew his gun causing Daring to stop the car, which had been heading towards the Nazi apes. “Damn.”
The two ponies stepped out of the jeep, walking out in front of it slowly. The apes were directly across from them, about fifteen metres away, one holding his rifle, the other holding a revolver.
“General Belloq”
“That is the ‘great and power-vul General Belloq’ to you, Mizz Daring Do!” The white trench coat wearing ape snarled.
“I knew I recognized your scumbag voice yesterday.”
“Yeah, yeah I don’t have da time for dis, I just v-want your friend there to reveal da relic!”
The Doctor narrowed his eyes,
“I’m not going to reveal it to you!”
“You v-will or you v-will die!” The Doctor huffed.
“Well if you kill me how are you going to reveal the relic, not so great now are you!?” Having thought he won that conversation he glanced at Daring, only to find her face-hoofing. Confused the Doctor looked back at the General who was laughing.
“You are very much right, sir, so instead Mizz Daring v-will meet her Do-oom!” His laugh turned maniacal as the Doctor frowned intensely, sweat beating down his face. Even after all this time he always forgot about the second option in these situations. Sending a look of worry to his friend he thought of how he was going to get out of this one. His eyes lit up with an idea.
“Daring, when I say ‘bowtie’ you jump, okay?” He whispered through his teeth.
“What!?”
“Just do it!” Daring’s eyes were wide but she nodded and got ready for her queue, hoping to hell that the time traveler knew what he was doing. The Doctor was suddenly calm looking intently at the General and his henchman.
“You know General, I have been a pony for nearly forty years and in that time I’ve met a lot of colourful characters… literally.” Belloq rolled his eyes,
“Get on with it…”
“A lot of these people were very nice, but many of them were thugs, just as you are, but over time they learned something about me. They learned something important, something you don’t know.” The Doctor was pacing slowly towards the General, fiddling with his bowtie as to seemingly adjust it. As the General pressed him further, obviously growing tired of the monologue, the Doctor turned, heading back towards the jeep. “You’re only going to have one chance so listen closely; the thing they learned about me is very important…” The Doctor was right in front of the jeep now, one hoof up to his bowtie.
“You never, EVER, let me adjust my BOWTIE!”
As he finished his sentence his sonic-bowtie lit up, glowing onto the jeep. The General looked bewildered as the jeep’s engine roared, and its back tires began skidding from the sudden speed. Daring leaped on cue, soon followed by the Doctor as the jeep gained traction and sped towards the apes. The jeep pinned the two screaming Nazi’s between it and the other jeep pushing them towards the edge of the mountain-top.
The Nazis screaming faded as the mush of jeep on ape flew over the edge of the Cliffside, and fell to certain death.
Daring Do helped the Doctor to his feet.
“You did what you had to, they would have killed us both.”
“I know.”
Daring gave a small smile which the Doctor returned. The two sighed, turning slowly they began towards the centre of the peak. Taking a deep breath the doctor adjusted his collar, calling the relic into view. Before them, with a hiss and grind, the TARDIS began to materialize. The Doctor opened the door and turned to Daring.
“Ladies first.” Her smile widening she stepped into the blue police box her tail brushing the Doctors face as she passed.
“Why thank you, Doctor.” The Doctor blushed a little before entering the TARDIS himself, laughing slightly. Before he closed the door he stole a look at the view, taking in the Cliffside along with blue sky and sun.
Sighing, he shut the door slowly, proceeding to initiate dematerialization.
Soon the mountain-top was barren, the dead and soon to be dead boiled under the deserts heat. The sun was at the peak of its day, and there was no oasis in sight, just endless, nothingness.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading this one and only adventure.
