What Human?

by Bluebirdd065

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Human
Length: 6978

When a human somehow ends up in the CMC's clubhouse, the three take it upon themselves to take care of him.

When a human somehow ends up in the CMC's clubhouse, the three take it upon themselves to take care of him.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-13 15:13:47 UTC

I Don't Know What You're Talking About!

Mornings. Always the perfect way to pull someone out of their amazing alcoholic-infused dreams and into the sad, lonely world, where said person's corner store job is sitting miles away, just slowly eating at their soul like a pack of hungry preschoolers attacking a box of Lucky Charms, giving the unlucky life a feeling of regret for ever slashing their Algebra teacher's tires during the finals with a thumbtack.

Or at least, that's how I see it.

Luckily enough for me though, I wasn't stuck in a dead end job, where I'd have to be sitting in an empty Blockbuster store, gathering dust like the rest of the merchandise. Sure, being a EMT wasn't the greatest job in the world, but I'd rather try to save lives than my sanity under a rundown, minimum-wage-job-giving building.

Thirty bucks an hour still couldn't get me to look forward to those long, grueling mornings beside that damn awful morning intern. His peppy attitude and very existence drove me an inch closer to ending my life with a box of crackers and a plastic fork. He was one of those guys to get a group of your best buddies to shut up and slowly disband as they looked at each other, hoping one of the group would sacrifice their sanity for the good of theirs.

And now, here I was, delaying my inevitable morning trip to hell and back, with a small moment to ponder life and it's successors. Of course though, life absolutely LOVES to throw loopholes and plot twists your way, just to see you dance and struggle through your regular routines, while it watches the show with accompanying tea and crumpets to follow.

My little burning hoop to jump through happened to take the form of three small alien ponies, who were staring at me with wide eyes before I even got up from what I thought was my bed, in my room.

I had to admit though, these three alien things looked cute, despite their expressions. The three of them were staring at me like a deer in headlights, if said headlights were from a giant monster truck equipped with spiked wheels. The one in the middle of the group I thought was the cutest, with its sandy yellow color with a light red, pinkish head of hair. It even had a big pink bow on its head which led me to believe these were girls, and an odd mix of orange-yellow colored eyes. The one on the left seemed to have sported a horn, and was a bright white color, with light green colored eyes and a light pink and purple colored curled mane. The right one, which seemed to be the most terrified, had light purple eyes with a slightly dark orange body, and a dark purple mane with a slight curl at the top.

After a very long stretching moment of silence, I figured the last thing I'd want to do is mess with any aliens and get abducted by either them or the government, so I thought I could try to make peace, start something so that I could be their wing man in the case of a world domination plan.

I awkwardly waved at them. "Hi,-"

Unfortunately, the left one was very skittish, and shot my eye with a beam of light emitted from her horn before I could say another word. The three closed the door, screamed, and ran away.

"Yeah, that went well." I couldn't help but say.

I stood behind the door a bit before finding a window to open for light. This definitely wasn't my house. It was a tree house.

"An alien? Did you honestly have to wake me up for this? I gotta whole lotta nothing to do today, and I'm late!"

I shut the windows and ducked behind a small table to see the door opened.

"This is how horror movies start, you know that, right?"

I saw a head peek into the room and open the door wider. The figure, which seemed to be another alien pony, walked inside, those three ready behind her, armed with sticks and pots for helmets.

"Are you sure the 'alien' wasn't a raccoon or somethin- nope, there it is."

I felt its eyes locked onto me as I stood up. It flipped a switch I was unaware existed and squinted its eyes.

"Sweet Celestia, that thing is UGLY! Sheesh! Alright, I believe you! I'm going back now, okay? I need to get that disgusting image outta my head."

I growled and saw the pony walk away, leaving the other three to walk up, bunched up in a defensive stance. I just sat there and stared at them, unsure of what they were doing, UNTIL, I got a mouth full of stick.

"Hey! Watch- OW! PBTH! UGH! STO-STOP IT!" I cried.

"Get. Off. OUR. PLANET!!"

"OW! OW! STOOOOOP!" I growled.

I stood up, grabbed one of the flimsy sticks and broke it on my knee. The three glared and backed away cautiously.

"GET OUTTA HERE!" Yellow snapped.

"YEAH, BEAT IT!" Orange added.

"YOU'RE IN OUR CLUBHOUSE!" White cried.

"Sheesh, talk about hospitality! You three alien things wouldn't know manners if it beat you senseless and hung you from a street light!"

"Maybe we'd be nicer if you didn't break into our clubhouse!" White pointed.

"Clubhouse? THAT'S what this crap is?"

"Yeah, and it's OUR clubhouse! Now beat it!"

"I don't even know how I GOT here! Besides, I wouldn't want to stay here even if I knew the place anyways!"

The white one furrowed a brow and tapped her chin with a hoof.

"You know, that IS true."

"WHAT?! Sweetie Belle!? You're SIDING with it!?"

"Actually, I'm a 'he'.""

"Well, yes! It does make sense. Sure, he looks like a hairless monkey, but I'm sure hairless monkeys don't exist in Equestria. Plus, like he said, why would he want to stay HERE?"

"Ah.. ah don't know."

"Yeah, you kinda have a point."

The white one turned to me and dropped the stick from her mouth.

"You're not here to hurt us, are you?"

"Unless you three are pinatas, no." I replied.

The three gave me a blank stare.

"No! Okay! I'm NOT here to hurt you!"

"Told you guys! Rarity always told me to 'Never judge a book by it's cover!'."

Yellow spat her weapon and walked up to me.

"Then what ARE ya here for?"

"Nothing. I just woke up here."

"Sounds like something out of a story for foals." Orange mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear.

White walked up to me, smiled, and extended a hoof.

"Whelp, even though we don't know you, we say you're welcome to stay here until you find somewhere else!"

"WHAT?! Shouldn't that be a group decision or something!?"

I knelt down and shook her hoof. She smiled, and the orange one jumped up from the back.

"Wait! Guys, don't you see? We could get a animal rescue, or a alien Cutie Mark from this or something!"

Yellow and White looked at each other with puzzled looks on their faces.

"Hey, yeah! I didn't think of that!"

"That's a good idea!"

Yellow turned to me.

"Alright, you can stay! IF, you help us get our Cutie Marks!"

I shrugged and nodded, having no idea what I was agreeing to. Sounded like some satanic, black magic, gypsy stuff.

"Sweet! Well we'll see you up bright and early tomorrow!" Orange chirped.

The others nodded and left. I looked out the window to my far right and saw the moon coming up already.

"It's only been one or two hours?"

I shook my head and left the window to lie down on the ground. It wasn't nearly as comfortable as it was this morning.

"Great, so I'm stuck in an alien world, and agreed to help perform black magic with three tiny ponies. This should be interesting."

This went back to what I was saying about mornings and plot twists. They always happen. Why?

Because life's a bitch.

Days Gotta Start Somewhere

"Psst. Hey. Hey... HEY!"

I jumped up and swung at the air in front of me, nearly missing Orange's muzzle by an inch.

"Woah! Watch it!" she snapped.

I caught my breath and glared at her.

"That's why you DON'T WAKE ME UP!"

"OH, I'LL WAKE YOU UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE!-"

"GIRLS! I mean, girl! And... thing! Knock it off, we're trying to bond here, not hang each other!"

The two of us glared daggers for a second and lowered our appendages to turn to Yellow.

"Alright! You two trying to KILL EACH OTHER aside... good morning."

I stood up, gave a little stretch and rubbed my eyes. From what I was able to see from the window outside, the sun hadn't even come up yet. Not even in my job was I ever woken up this early before. Actually, that's not true. That one incident with the swing... God, that one was horrible. Who knew something from a little kiddie playground could turn you inside out? I've still never been able to see bacon the same way ever again after that.

So, after a few minutes of viewing the explicit images my memory coughed up, I partially discontinued remembering about the whole incident as Yellow continued talking, while I was only able to continue staring at her and nodding, like I actually understood what was coming out of that southern tongue of hers.

"And that's why whales are endangered!" she finished.

I heard sniffing beside me and looked over my left shoulder to see Orange shedding rivers of liquid pride. No, LITERALLY, RIVERS. It was seeping into the floor boards and everything, most likely forcing whatever poor squirrel family that lived down there to lose their dear Aunt Sally.

The three took their gazes to the floor, as if to commit a moment of silence for Willy and his other whale friends that were supposedly endangered now. Meanwhile, I was questioning my sanity with every other second that passed while I stood there, just looking around

Finally, it was White who had to step up and break the silence. "Alright, let's go get some breakfast or something, cause I'm starving!"

Despite it most likely still being four in the morning outside, food sounded a lot better than worshipping whales right about now. I was up and ready to eat about anything I could get at this point at the sound of breakfast. Oh, sweet juicy strips of bacon..

"-And after that, we can play on some swings!"

...I'm not hungry anymore.

+++++

So after a short while of gagging for eh, about fifteen minutes, we took a short trip inside this nearby building that looked like a fancy barn and got into the kitchen. Not wanting to continue the constant nightmare driven bacon issues, I suggested eggs. I was pretty confident in their skills for cooking for some odd reason, but reality seemed to think otherwise, and I regretted my implied feelings within the first five minutes. All in all, it wasn't pretty, unless you believe losing an egg and burning another in the process is considered good cooking, in which case, it must've been beautiful. And now, all I'm doing is standing here, watching Yellow and Orange comfort their now half bald and dripping wet friend. Sure, White had caught on fire and had to be doused with a bucket of water in probably the most terrifying moment of her life, but I've got priorities, and something to eat would be at the top of that list.

"So, does that mean no breakfast?"

The three glared at me.

"What? I'm just asking! Sheesh!"

I still waited for an answer from the three, but got nothing but a bunch of sobbing and a puddle of water and tears that probably flushed out another home of friendly moles living below us.

"Oh, come ON! It's just hair! It'll grow back!.. I think." I pointed.

"If ya want breakfast so bad, why dontcha make it yourself?!" Yellow snapped.

I shrugged, "Alright."

Now, I wasn't a five star cook or anything, but I was pretty sure I could make a few eggs without catching my hair on fire. For the most part. Needless to say, their tools and appliances were exact duplicates of the ones used on Earth, and unless humans once lived here, it drove me to think of what kind of idiot would create tools that were meant for HANDS.

So to get started, I threw a glob of butter in the pan and started melting it. Next came the milk for some fluffiness, then the eggs themselves. I had noticed the environment behind me turned from loud sobbing into an attention grabbing blockbuster film, and the next thing I knew, the three were staring at me, awed at how easily I was making the eggs. The attention got the better of me, and before I knew it, I started to show off my Iron Chef skills, throwing around the ingredients and juggling them around to put them into the pan. I was performing like I was the center of attention at a club, or a rock show or something. I was flipping everything, hearing the occasional 'ooh's and 'aah's as I made what I now thought to be some sort of decorative poached lobster or something. Many stirs and tosses later, I finally came to create four plates of eggs and toast that were covered in all sorts of spices and things I used for show.

After the plates were done, I put on my best poker face to turn to the three ponies and pretend like I wasn't aware of their observations. The three were smiling, including White, who seemed to have been cheered up by my little display of awesomeness.

"Were you watching the whole thing?" I played stupid.

The three nodded, big grins never leaving their faces.

Orange threw her hooves in the air, "That was awesome! With the WOOSH, and the flipping, and the WOOO!"

"Yeah! That was so cool!" Yellow shouted.

"You should do that again!" White giggled.

I smiled and set the plates down on a nearby oak table, proud of my work.

They jumped onto some Earth-y wooden chairs and started going to town on the dishes. I took a seat and grabbed a fork, where I bit into possibly the greatest display of my cooking ever.

Next thing I knew, a conversation broke out about my world, starting from my fascination  and their curiosity of how well I utilized their tools.

"-Snuggies? That sounds stupid!" Orange blurted.

"Yeah, stupidly comfortable!" I replied.

So the three of us continued having our conversations, laughing and telling entertaining stories to each other long after we  had finished our plates. I enjoyed it a lot, and had soon realized I was actually having a full conversation with three little ponies from another dimension, talking like we knew each other for years.

And I loved every second of it.

Of course, though, life loves to crash your little wine and cheese party when you least expect it.

"Girls, what are ya-...."

From across the room was another pony, as big as the blue one, staring at me. She was orange, with a blond mane and big green eyes to match. She was wearing a brown stetson, had freckles on her cheeks, and was wearing the most confused look I've ever seen since I got here. The three looked at her, then back at me with worried looks.

"Apple Bloom?" she started. "Why is there an alien creature sitting by you?" she asked, eyes never leaving mine.

"I, uh, well, actually.." Yellow stammered.

I put on an innocent smile and waved at freckles there.

"Uh, hi?"

Confusion

This, was starting to bother me. Immensly. You'd figure the first time you'd see an alien in your home, you wouldn't just stare at it, wishing it away. Although, emotions like that were acceptable in a situation like this, because this was basically the same as coming home and seeing ET chilling in your house with your kids, minus the fact that back on Earth, you'd probably threaten poor ET with the idea of unloading on him with a PDW. Nevertheless, I had expected much worse as a response than just an everlonging stare that peered into my very soul at rates never known before by man.

..Okay, I have to admit, I'd rather be unloaded than having this happen. At least if I died by a gun, I'd have a soul to take me places, but this, THIS, was another story. At this moment, my head was playing russian roulette in a desperate attempt to stop my being from shattering like a dinnerplate, and it was proving fruitless.

I had to admit though, aside from the bone crushing stare I was being given, it seemed to me that everything on this planet was horrifyingly cute, in their own special way. In this case, it was those adorable freckles that hit it off, and the fact that she was about half my size, and had big green eyes. As it turned out, my thought process had actually blinded me from the fact that this staring contest had been going on for about an hour now.

"Why don't you take a picture; it'll last longer." I finally said.

She lost her stare and sported a confused look, which had actually had me to believe that we were actually just checking each other out, instead of trying to vaporize one another with our eyes.

"Ah beg your pardon?" She said, tilting her head slightly.

Whether it was the slight head tilt, that cute innocent look, or the heart-attack-inducing southern accent, I couldn't help but smile at her response, which got a bit of mixed feelings from her, ranging from once again, confusion, to an unsettling feeling that extended beyond the limits of 'I think this guy has a candy van'.

"Oh my god you're so adorable." I blurted, not knowing what I just said as I said it.

The pony's cheeks flushed from anger and embarrassment, and she stomped a hoof on the floor.

"Adorable?! Wha, I,-" she stammered, growing redder every second.

Everything once again factored heavily into breaking the cuteness meter, and I couldn't help but walk over to her with an awaiting hug-

+++++

I opened my eyes and rubbed my head. My ears were ringing, and there was a blinding light above me.

"Am, am I dead?" I asked the higher beings.

"Surprisingly, no." I heard Yellow say.

I sat up to see I was back inside the treehouse, with the three kids and Freckles as company. She held her hat to her chest and looked at me apologetically.

"Ah'm uh, Ah'm sorry I knocked your lights out back there." She chuckled softly.

"I'm sorry I tried being nice." I deadpanned. Looked like this place wasn't just going to be all roses and rainbows like I thought it was.

"Hugging strangers isn't nice; it's creepy." Orange said.

"Well excuse me for not knowing that cute, pint sized colorful ponies wouldn't take kindly to hugs." I grunted.

"Yeah.." Freckles rubbed her head nervously. "Name's Applejack, by the way."

I nodded, "Name's Nick, which would be a good thing to know when I die from hoof prints to the face." I frowned.

"My name's Apple Bloom!" Yellow smiled.

"I'm Scootaloo!" Orange struck a heroic pose.

"And I'm Sweetie Belle!" White jumped.

"And we're the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!" They all said in unison, making Applejack's ears flop down and forcing me to cringe. They all smiled, looking at me with their big, wide eyes as I tried to stop my ears from ringing.

After the three's high pitched voices stopped replaying in my head, I stood up from the floor and looked at Applejack.

"So, what now? Are you going to lead me into town to be burned at the stake, or are you guys a little bit more advanced than that?" I said sarcastically.

"What? No! I, I'm thinkin' maybe my friend Twilight can help us understand why you're here. I've seen some pretty ugly creatures before, and I can tell you don't belong here." Applejack explained.

"Alright, I'm going to take that as a compliment, and as long as this Twilight person's not a vampire, I'm fine with this." I said.

"A, a vampire? What?" Apple Bloom stuttered.

"Oh, you don't want to know. It's much worse than them sucking blood; it's everything that sucks about them back on Earth." I smiled.

"But, I don't-"

"Can we just go now?" Applejack said impatiently.

"Sure. I can tell you three about why vampires are shunned in our society on the way." I said.

The three smiled and nodded, giving Applejack the go ahead to open the door and head out.

+++++

"They don't burn in the daylight?" Sweetie Belle asked, looking shocked.

"Nope. They SPARKLE. Like, they're not even vampires, they're like little fairies! It's stupid! And then, that Jacob guy always has his dang shirt off, like it could kill him if he puts one on." I vented.

"That sounds lame!" Scootaloo agreed.

"Exactly! And these guys attracted nothing but a bunch of little thirteen year old girls to it, which would then SHOVE EVERYTHING about the series down your THROAT, like!-"

"We're here." Applejack interrupted.

I paused the my miming of someone being choked and dropped my hands.

"Oh... Wait, is this a giant tree? Is this Twilight person, like a wizard or something?"

"Close. She's-"

"An evil enchantress?!" I posed with a fake scared look.

"No! She's neither of those! She's a Princess!" Applejack flared.

"Did you say, a PRINCESS?" I snickered. "I mean, seriously?"

"Yeah, she's got wings AND a horn!" Apple Bloom said.

"Oh wow, that part's actually pretty cool." I said.

With that, Applejack knocked on the door, leaving us to wait for a response.

Seconds later, the door opened up to reveal a purple colored pony, who had a darker purplish hair color with a pink stripe through it, along with soft, purple eyes to match. She also, indeed, had a horn and wings, and looked like she had just gotten thrown into a bull fight from the audience. She smiled weakly at the four, then frowned as soon as she saw me, which prompted her to tackle me, horn glowing. I held my hands up again.

"Woah woah, I'm friendly! Ally! Ally!" I yelled.

She growled at me and pinned me down with her legs, which were surprisingly able to hold me back, due to possibly loads of bull shark testosterone, or maybe the fact that I had, in fact, wasted days on end playing GTA and never went outside. Either way, I was in quite a pickle.

"Twilight! He's a friend!" Applejack called.

She turned to her, and back to me, making me nod furiously in agreement. She lost her ferocious scowl and lowered to a frown, where she got up and glared at me.

"I've got my eye on you." She grunted. Four feet tall or not, I was scared out of my mind. Last thing I wanted was to end up like that guy on the swing...

I stood up, hands still held up in defense as the three ran over to me and hid behind me. Twilight walked inside and welcomed us in. We walked in and immediately noticed how horrible the place looked: books littering the floor, shelves knocked over, chairs missing legs; it was a mess.

"Woah! What happened here!?" I asked.

She looked at me and growled.

"YOU should know, seeing how YOU caused it!"

The others looked at me with looks as confused as mine.

"I've never even been to this place before! I woke up in a treehouse!" I said defensively.

"You humans destroyed everything! Came into my home! Tore up Ponyville and frightened everypony in town to the point where they don't even leave their own homes anymore!" She yelled, glaring daggers.

"He's nice though!" Sweetie pitched in, pointing a hoof my way.

"Well, I doubt the rest of Ponyville would agree." Twilight deadpanned.

She gave me one last look before looking at the kids standing by me, hugging my sides.

"..You're, you're not like the others, are you? You don't hurt anypony?" She asked.

"I'm an EMT; I don't get paid to hurt others." I said.

"EM-"

"-Emergency Medical Technician." I interrupted.

Twilight's expressions softened and she relaxed a bit.

"Well then. I'm sorry I misjudged you." She looked back. "As you can see, I just haven't had many great encounters with your kind lately."

I nodded. "I know where my morals are at, but I can't speak for the rest of my world."

"Well morals and that are fine and dandy, but how exactly did all this even happen?" Applejack asked.

I shrugged, "Like I said, I had just woke up here. And believe me, I had no intentions of transversing universes anytime soon."

"Well since you aren't like the others, would you mind if I asked a few questions to help with this situation?" Twilight asked, pulling a clipboard and pencil out of absolutely nowhere.

I shrugged and made my way over to stand a chair up and sit in it.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

The others followed and set up chairs to sit in.

Twilight slapped on some glasses and held the clipboard in front of her.

"What exactly were you doing before  you got here?" She asked.

"That's easy; sleeping." I smiled.

"No, we need to go more in depth. Tell me EVERYTHING about that day."

I shuffled in my chair, remembering some bits and pieces of Sunday that absolutely destroyed my mood.

"Alright. Get comfy."

Finding the Past, Living the Future

I opened my eyes lazily to the sound of my phone blaring its ringtone. I reached for it and answered.

"Nick, there's been a car accident by Edgemere and we need more hands on deck!" A clerk said.

I sighed, "Alright, I'm on my way."

I stood up from my bed and, and, uh..

+++++

"And??" Twilight asked impatiently.

I shrugged, "I thought I recalled a lot more that."

"That's it? That was your whole day?!" Applejack asked.

"I don't know! I just, can't remember the rest." I said.

"So this is great. That means we don't have any leads." Twilight sighed.

"Why do we even need these leads? Why don't we just talk to them?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I don't think they'll have as much sympathy as this one here." Twilight pointed at me.

"Well I mean, I AM one of them; I'm sure I could chat with 'em at least." I pointed.

"Yes, but we don't know where they ARE." She replied.

"Then why don't we just find out?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Twilight gave her an unsure look before turning back to me.

"You, you think they won't be hostile to us?" She asked.

"Everyone has a side to a story. I'm sure we could get their support."

"...Alright. I think if we could search the town, we could gather some more leads on this." Twilight pointed.

"Sounds like a plan." Applejack agreed.

+++++

"So, who are we asking first?" I asked.

"One of my friends; she's been hit pretty bad though, so it'd be best if you sit this one out." Twilight said.

I nodded, giving the okay for Applejack and Twilight to walk into the large gingerbread-looking house. It was covered in fake candy and icing that looked so real that I couldn't tell whether to admire it or try eating it, and had a small sign with a cupcake on it that was hanging above the door. Several seconds later, I felt someone looking at me from inside it, and turned to a window on the house to see a quick flash of pink fly by it.

I turned to the kids and nudged Apple Bloom.

"Did you see that pink thing fly by the window?" I asked, pointing at the now empty space.

"Uh, no. Why?"

"I don't know. Just, something feels off.." I shivered slightly.

I looked around at my surroundings nervously and scooted closer to the girls, hoping they'd repel whatever was near with their cuteness. I felt loads of anxiety and fear to the point where I crouched beside the CMC.

"Woah, personal space, man!" Scootaloo backed away.

"Yeah, what's got into you? Why are you shaking like that?" Sweetie asked.

"Oh, no reason, just-" *POOF*

+++++

I opened my eyes, unable to see anything, with the odd taste of paper confetti present in my mouth.

"Uh, Apple Bloom? Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle?!"

I peered around the dark room, waiting for something to jump out at me or turn on a light and walk slowly towards me. It was like those scary movies where you knew a ghost or something would jump at you, but you just didn't know when. Then it hit me: I was in another universe inhabited by colorful ponies, so honestly, how bad could it be?.. Right?

"Hello? If you're gonna kill me, at least give me the common decency to see your face!" I cried.

Then, the lights flipped on, allowing me to see I was roped around a chair, and get a glimpse of a pink figure slowly walk out of the shadows with a grin. At that moment, I've never been so fearful of a female pink pony in my entire life. Not to mention, she wasn't fully pink, but a dark shade of it rather. She had completely straight hair that dropped over her face, and a Mark of two yellow balloons and a blue one on her flank. She had bright blue eyes and a scared, yet confident look on her face.

She walked up closer to me and put a hoof on my chest.

"Who are ya working for?!" She yelled in a squeaky voice.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Who. Are. You. Working for?!" She cried again.

"I work for the Sierra Petrovita Medical Center! Real bad pay, I think." I thought out loud.

She stared blindly forward before shaking her head.

"No, NO, NO!!" She screeched.

"What then?! What do you want me to say?!"

"Say that it WAS you who destroyed this entire building and messed with my friends!!" She yelled, compromising the few inches she had away from my face.

"What?! Why the heck would I say I did something that I didn't?!?!"

"SAY IT!" She growled, scrunching her nose on mine.

"No thank you!"

Right as the pink menace growled again, I saw the doors behind her open to reveal Twilight and Applejack, hopefully here to whisk me away to safety.

"Woah, woah, Pinkie! He's friendly!" Twilight called, running to her side.

"Wait, you know this crazy pink pony?" I asked, getting a cold look from the one in question.

"She's not normally like this." Applejack said as she untied me.

"I hope so. I wouldn't like to be kidnapped again." I glared at 'Pinkie'.

Twilight started taking her upstairs as Applejack helped me up on my feet.

"Don't you worry, she's sweeter than apple pie once she get's to know you." She said.

I rubbed my arms and sighed. "Can't tell you how many times I've heard that lie, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

Applejack smiled and followed upstairs out of the scary interro-basement alongside me. Once out of the room, I took some time to appreciate the much brighter side of the building, with its lack of captive victims that most likely got ground up into sprinkles and creepy, dark corners that may or may not of contained loads of torturous items. All in all, I was glad I had connections at that moment.

Twilight pulled up chairs and had us all sit down beside this one table. I was of course right in front of Pinkie, who still gave me a bit of a look, and beside Applejack, whom I now had to trust with my life in the event anything went sour with the pink one.

"So," Twilight began, "this one here is friendly; we've established that, right?"

Small nod from Pinkie, who wasn't letting up her look in the slightest.

"Good. But.." Twilight looked at me, searching for a name tag of some sort.

"Nick."

"-but Nick here needs to find the others. Do you have any idea where they might've went after they came here?"

"Everfree Forest." Pinkie said blankly.

"Whelp, they're goners." Applejack shrugged.

"What? Why? What's so bad about this forest?"

"What, you mean aside from the Timberwolves, Cockatrices and the giant, transparent, pony eating bears known as Ursas? Absolutely nothing."

"Wow, you know I could have used without that info, right?"

"I'm the Element of Honesty; it's my thing." She shrugged.

"So, what should we do then?" Twilight asked.

I raised my hand. "I'll go look for them. If anyone is hostile, they'll be less so to me.... hopefully." I looked at Pinkie, who was staring at the floor, lost in thought. "Plus, it looks like you have someone to attend to."

+++++

"Jeez, that's a lot. Okay. Okay! That's good! I wasn't planning on a year long trip, man!" I said, swatting Applejack's hooves, which were still trying to shove apples into my makeshift backpack.

"Ah just don't wantcha to be hungry!" She replied.

"I know, I know, but all the weight wouldn't necessarily help either!"

Applejack huffed, and made way for Twilight, who handed me a canteen, a map, and a small book. I quizzically looked at the paperback.

"It's a guide the the Everfree's plants and animals, just in case you're unsure of something in there." She explained.

"Ah. Thanks." I smiled slightly. It would've helped to instead be given a twelve gauge or something, instead of a book that helped me find out whether some giant space bear wanted a human happy meal or not, but I had doubted anything other than flowers and smiles being regarded as a weapon here, despite the few ideas I've already been wrong about so far.

So after being lectured on how to use the table of contents in a book, I said my very short goodbyes and headed out. The map had shown a trail blazed through the forest, giving me a small sense of where to go. I walked further on the empty streets of the town, until I was met with small, flat lands and rolling hills that led to the forest's tree line. I walked on the hill to see an unlit campfire up ahead.

I ducked up closer to the fire and inspected it, noticing the absence of anyone.

"Huh." I hummed, toying around with the pretty well built camp. I heard rustling to my right side and jumped, just to see three fillies walk out to me.

"Wha? What are you guys doing here?!" I whispered.

"What do ya mean? We're only a few feet away from Ponyville." Apple Bloom pointed, making me stand up to see a 'Welcome to Ponyville' sign just feet away.

"Well, that's not the point! I'm planning on going into the forest!-"

I heard more rustling from my left side and huddled the kids behind a bush to see what was going to show up. We continued staring, nature deciding it was time to be completely silent to pose for a dramatic scene.

"GO! GO! HEAD BACK TO THE CAMP!" Someone yelled. I saw crows fly out from the trees and the now growing sound of rustling. I waited patiently with the CMC to see someone, not somepony, but SOMEONE jump out of the tree line and roll forward. Then another, and another, and another. Soon, the last guy, where I counted five, jumped out, followed by three creatures that poked their heads out for a few seconds, before snarling and backing away. The five laid there, panting, before one guy decided to stand up, giving me a clear look of his face, forcing me out of the bush and towards him.

"D-Dave?" I croaked, not believing what I was seeing. He turned to me, his stethoscope glimmering in the distance.

"Nick? Is that you?" He asked.

I nodded quickly, picking up my pace as he did so too.

"Dave!"

"Nick!"

We both ran and hugged each other.

"I thought you were gone man!" My brother cried.

"Me too, man, me too!" I started smiling..

I saw someone come by and break us up, before pointing an accusing finger at me.

"How do you know he's not some sort of creature from this forest or something?!" He said.

"Cause he's with us!" I looked behind myself to see the CMC running to sit by my side. The man growled and moved forward, before being stopped by my brother's hand.

"Those things are the ones that attacked us!" The man cried, swatting Dave's hand.

I held the three defensively and crouched beside them.

"You destroyed their homes!" I retorted.

My brother stood between us an held his hands out.

"Okay, look, nobody destroyed anything, alright? We can all talk this out; I'm sure we both have good sides to this." He said calmly.

The man backed up and huffed, before crossing his arms.

"Alright. So, first of all, what did you hear Nick? What's your side, 'cause I'd rather clear this up right here and now so nothing arises in the future.-"

"Well, you know, we still have injured here. If you're gonna talk, make it fast, otherwise, these guys' wounds shouldn't be ignored." The man interrupted. Dave snapped his fingers and turned to them.

"That's right," he looked at me. "Wanna lend me a hand?"

I nodded and stood up, telling the kids to stay in their place and walked over to the three injured guys.

"Alright," Dave rubbed his head. "Do you know of anyplace we can hold up in to help these guys?"

I shook my head.

"Back at the farm, we got a cellar ya'll could use!" Apple Bloom chimed.

"Really? And your family would be fine with aliens living in their cellar?" The man asked sarcastically.

"Yup! Ah mean, Applejack's only saved the world about a dozen times or so, so she's dealt with weirder." She replied.

"Well, only place we got as of now, so let's go, I say.-"

"Wait, I don't get a say in this decision?" The man grumbled.

"Alright then, Derek, make it fast, because we have wounded here." Dave said slyly.

The man opened his mouth, then shut it closed as his own argument was thrown at him.

"Fine, let's just get these guys to safety." He said. Dave nodded in agreement before picking a guy up. I stood the one with the busted leg up and gave him my shoulder.

"Guys, could you lead us back to the farm?" I asked the CMC.

"Psh! We know this place like the back of our hand! Come on, girls!" Scootaloo ushered, starting to run back into the forest.

"Wait!" I called, making them freeze. "Could we not go through the forest that put us in this situation in the first place?"

The three nodded, then began running around, giving us the okay to start following.

"So," Dave said shortly after. "Back to the whole, 'destroying their homes' thing. What happened to you?"

"Well, I had just ended up here one day, lying in a treehouse, which belonged to those three girls. After they attacked me with sticks and stuff, I made breakfast for them in their house, and found the yellow one's sister. Then, they took me to this other one's house, and she was hostile to me because she thought I was the one who trashed her home. After THAT, we went to one of her friends to find out where you guys are, and I got kidnapped, then was given some stuff to come and search for you guys. There was a lot more to it, but that's the absolute bare minimum."

"Huh," Dave furrowed a brow. "Well I guess that kinda explains all the apples then." He said, inspecting the makeshift pack.

I nodded. "Everyone expected it to last longer than a few minutes. So, what's your side to it?" I asked.

"Well, it's a bit of a long story." Dave said.

I looked ahead, seeing the CMC walking to the farm way out in the distance.

"I think we got the time." I said.

Sorry, but this is it!

I am once again, stuck on this story. Don't know why, but I just, lose interest in long stories like these. That 'Magic Mishap' story I have I had done like this too, as in, I had reset the story at one point, and when I finally got to finishing it like months later, the ending was... not my best. Well, nevertheless, I don't see myself as a very good novel writer anytime soon, and I'm probably just gonna stick to short short stories and One-Shots from now. If you want this story, just PM me or something. If not, I'll either delete this story or label it as 'Cancelled' in a week from now.

I'm pretty sure out of the hundred or so people to favorite this story, at least one person will be very upset about this, but just know that all your comments, good and bad, drove me to press on this far, and I will most likely redo this story as a short story or something, and not.. This.

For those who skipped everything I just typed, I'm stopping the story! PM for it, if anyone at all does want this!