The World Famous Flim Flam Brothers' Spectacular Travelling Menagerie

by Sage Runner

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Flim and Flam, Gilda, Adventure, Zecora, Iron Will
Length: 10100

Come one! Come all! Feast your eyes upon the rarest creatures in Equestria!

The World Famous Flim Flam Brothers, having been forced to put their cider-making days behind them, have "collected" all of the rare and exotic creatures they've encountered during their travels in order to create a circus of mythology the likes of which has never been seen before! Spike, being the final addition to the show, must use everything he's learned from Twilight Sparkle in order to take back his freedom, rescue his comrades in captivity, and return home.

A big thanks to Bad_Seed_72 for pre-reading and editing!

Published 2013-08-15 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-08 23:02:10 UTC

The Final Attraction

"Ugh..." Spike groaned, massaging his aching head and struggling to sit up.  "Did I oversleep?  Why does my head hurt?"

"Aha!"  A familiar, nasally voice echoed in his ears.  "Our final attraction awakens, brother!"

"Yes, indeed!" another voice said.  "Guess we should bring him up to speed, eh?"  Spike's vision was clouded, but he could see two vague shapes before him—a blurry mixture of white and blue.

"Wait until he's wide awake, Flam!  We wouldn't want him to miss any information regarding his new job!"

"Flam?!" Spike shouted, rubbing his eyes.  As his vision cleared, he saw the Flim Flam Brothers standing before him.  As his eyes drifted inward, the metal bars that separated him from them became clear.  "Am I in a cage?" he asked, gasping.

"You remember me?  I'm flattered!" Flam said, stroking his mustache.  "And yes, you're in a cage."

"What's going on?!" Spike scanned the area around him, seeing no familiar landmarks.  "How did I get here?!"

"We brought you here, of course!" Flim replied, raising and lowering his eyebrows rapidly.

"I don't remember anything..." Spike said as his eyes ran the length of the bars.

"Well of course you don't," Flam said, "because we subdued you with the most powerful, desensitizing, mesmerizing, immobilizing, hypnotizing, sensationalizing means of capture that you could imagine!"

"We hid behind some bushes and threw a rock at you!" Flim said.

"Why don't you just tell me why I'm here?" Spike pleaded.

"Well," Flim said, "difficult as it may be to believe, my dear brother and I found ourselves hurting for business after that little incident at Sweet Apple Acres, wherein your beloved Apple 'Family'—and I use that term loosely—maliciously sabotaged our Super Speedy Cider Squeezy!"

"Six-thousand!" Flam added, nodding his head.

"Yes," Flim continued.  "And because of their morally reprehensible behavior during what we were lead to believe would be a friendly competition, the unfortunate ponies of Ponyville were tricked—"

"By the Apples!" Flam said.

"By the Apples!" Flim agreed.  "Tricked by the Apples into drinking tainted cider that they then accused us of producing!"

"Dude," Spike said.  He had been extending one finger at a time during Flim's story until all of them were raised.  "I don't have enough fingers to count the number of things wrong with what you just said, so you're just going to have to imagine that I have, like, three extra pairs of claws."

"The ponies of Ponyville," Flam said, picking up from where his brother left off.  "They demanded an investigation, as any decent folk would.  But, despite our plea of innocence, the Apples used their pull with the Mayor to have us run out of town!"  At this point, they were both tearing up and holding their hats in front of their faces.

"I'm confused," Spike said.  "It seems like you're lying to me, but you know that I was there, and that I saw everything.  Is this really how you remember it?"

"Woe was us," Flam continued, ignoring Spike.  "Our reputation was in shambles, and ponies turned us away from their towns before they even had so much as a sip of our delectable cider!"

"Our thoughts grew dark," Flim said, nodding.  "Our machinations drifted toward revenge!"  He shook a hoof toward the sky.

"But we are above that sort of thing," Flam added, gently patting his brother on the back.  "Instead, we decided to use our unstoppable intellect and unrivaled business sense to send our reputation to even greater heights, and restore our honor!"

"You tried to con the Apples out of the majority of their earnings, then vowed to run them out of business in a town that they helped found, using apples that they grew, with a machine that you then used to make tree cider.  The only way you could possibly top yourselves is if whatever you're planning now somehow causes both of you to explode," Spike said, shaking his head.

"Just listen to that imagination!  I just know the crowds will adore that about you!"  Flam clapped his hooves.

"Crowds?" Spike asked.

"But of course!" Flim said.  "You're going to be part of our travelling zoo and circus: The World Famous Flim Flam Brothers' Spectacular Travelling Menagerie!"

"Uh-oh."

"You'll be seated among countless other wonderfully imaginative creatures that we've collected from all over Equestria!  You'll perform feats of skill, do tricks of mild amusement, and will please continuous, countless crowds of curious, cash-slinging customers!" Flam exclaimed.

"Try saying that three times fast!" Flim added.

"But I'm not part of the show!" Flam said as they both stared at Spike, waiting for him to laugh.

"And what are the other 'wonderfully imaginative creatures'?" Spike asked, unmoved.

"We have, at this time, a griffon, a minotaur, a zebra, a unicorn so abnormally powerful that she can defeat an Ursa Major, and a manticore!  And, of course, a baby dragon for the kids!" Flim replied, winking.

"Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to get acquainted with your fellow stars!" Flam said.

"Okay," Spike said, taking a deep breath, "I'm gonna get this out of the way now, so you can't say I didn't warn you later.  This is a really bad idea.  It's illegal, it's unethical, it's immoral, and when, not if we escape, we are going to come after you."

"Nothing to worry about," Flam said as his horn flared a bright green.  Spike gasped as his limbs moved against his will and he began to dance.

"What's happening to me?!" the dragon shouted.

"Guess you haven't noticed that collar we put around your neck."  Flim grinned, gesturing to the black collar around Spike's throat, which was also enveloped in a green aura.

"It gives us complete control over anypony who wears it, and all of you are wearing them.  You and your fellow exhibits are essentially puppets from here on out," Flam explained.

"You'll eat when we tell you, dance when we tell you, jump when we tell you, sleep when we tell you, and if anypony starts asking questions, you'll happily tell them that everything's on the up-and-up, capiche?" Flim asked.

"Yes, sir!  I live to entertain!  'There's no business like show business', that's my motto!" Spike declared before clasping his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide and face pale.

"Excellent!"  Flam clapped his hooves.

"Indeed, I can already hear the bits rolling in!" Flim said.

How am I gonna get out of this one?  Spike thought as he bowed.

Meet the Crew

Night had fallen.  As Flim and Flam pushed Spike's rolling cage across a large clearing surrounded on all sides by trees, he could make out several dimly lit objects around a pair of campfires, which were several yards apart from one another.

"What's that?" Spike asked, gripping the bars and squinting at the approaching fire.

"Where we've made camp, of course!" Flam said.

"One fire marks where we've pitched our tents and stored our supplies, and the other will be keeping you and your fellow assets warm through the night!" Flim explained.

"Fantastic."  Spike sighed, seating himself for what little remained of his bumpy ride, his chin supported by his elbows and hands.

"Look lively, everypony!" Flam declared.  "Your newest co-star has arrived!  Meet... uh... Dragon!"

"My name's Spike," Dragon said flatly, rolling his eyes.

"Spike?!" two familiar voices shouted in unison.  Spike's jaw dropped as he caught sight of the faces of his fellow captives.  The two who had spoken his name were, without a doubt, Zecora, a zebra friend of his who lived in the Everfree Forest, and the "Great and Powerful" Trixie, a showpony whose presence had twice wreaked havoc in Ponyville.

"Zecora?!  Trixie?!" Spike exclaimed, his eyes darting back and forth between them.

"Um, I'm here too, thanks for noticing," another voice added.  Spike's gaze shot over to another cage containing Gilda the Griffon, who had caused some small commotion in Ponyville years earlier.

"Yeah, I remember you," Spike said, unenthused.  He looked over at the final cage and was shocked that he hadn't noticed that one first.  Contained within it was a large, muscular Minotaur with a silver nose ring and formidable goatee.  "Who's this guy?" Spike asked Zecora, turning away from the behemoth and pointing towards him with a thumb.

"'This guy' is Iron Will!" the Minotaur shouted, causing Spike to yelp.  "Iron Will does not appreciate you speaking of him as though he isn't here beside you!"  He flexed his biceps inward as he said this.  Spike noted that all four of them wore collars identical to his.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie has grown weary of hearing you refer to yourself in the third person, Minotaur!" Trixie said as Spike shifted his vision toward her.

"Look who's talking!"  Iron Will extended his arms toward Trixie, catching Spike's attention again.  "Iron Will pulls it off, unlike somepony!"

"Oh please," Trixie replied, "when you do it, it sounds positively narcissistic.  The Great and Powerful Trixie refers to herself in the third person ironically.  Hmph!"  She snorted, turning her nose up at Iron Will.

"You don't know the meaning of irony!" Iron Will roared, shifting his stance and displaying some impressive footwork in the process.

"I beg your pardon?!" Trixie shouted, bringing a hoof to her mouth and leaning back.

"Irony denotes something that is contrary to what was expected!" Iron Will said, loudly and rapidly.  "But for those of us who have never met you before, we have no expectations!"  His voice almost seemed to echo as he began punching the air repeatedly.

"And if we have no expectations regarding your manner of speaking, whichever manner of speaking you ultimately utilize is contrary to NOTHING!"  Iron Will slammed his fists together as he shouted the final word even more loudly than he had the rest of his tangent, causing everyone to stare at him, wide-eyed.

"A literary lesson, we do not need," Zecora said.  "Instead we should focus on getting freed."

"Oh great," Gilda said, rolling her eyes.  "The zebra rhymes.  'Cause, y'know, this stuff wasn't already a pain to keep up with."

"Gilda-girl, I take offense," Zecora said, putting her hoof down.  "I have no patience for malcontents!"

"Are you truly this dense, Minotaur?!"  Trixie said before Gilda could respond to Zecora.  "The Great and Powerful Trixie's speech pattern is ironic because one would not expect a pony to refer to herself in the third person to begin with!" Trixie wrapped her hooves around the bars of her own cage and stuck her head out through them to glare at Iron Will.

"What careless ignorance!"  Iron Will curled his arms above his head and turned his back to his sparring partner.  "If we considered it ironic every time somepony did or said something unique because we didn't think to expect it beforehand, every unique action would then become ironic, thus cheapening the word itself!"

"For the love of—" Gilda smacked her forehead.  "Who cares?!"

"Iron Will cares!"  Iron Will grabbed the bars of his cage with such force that the cart tilted sideways for a moment.  Twin streams of steam shot from his nostrils.  "Iron Will weeps for future generations when today's adults dismiss the importance of semantics!"  His bottom lip began to quiver.

"Though our situation may be dire, because of your passion, I am inspired," Zecora said, prompting Iron Will to give a very aggressive thumbs-up and flash a sparkling grin.

"Dweebs."  Gilda sighed, rolling her eyes.

"What did you call us?!" the other three shouted in unison.

"Have you guys been doing this the entire time you've been here?!" Spike snapped, having grown tired of bouncing his eyes around inside his sockets in an attempt to stay focused on whoever was speaking at any given moment.  "We have bigger problems, for pony's sake!"

"Oh, this is just pure gold," Flim said while laughing.  This reminded the four captives that he and his brother had been silently observing the altercation the entire time.

"Indeed it is, brother of mine!" Flam said.  "This is going into the act for sure!"  They turned and walked back to their own campsite before anyone could respond.  The five grew silent and lowered their heads.

"So..." Spike sighed, looking back and forth among them.  "How'd they manage to get you guys?"

"They approached my hut, gave my door a knock," Zecora began, massaging her forehead. "And clobbered my head with a rock-filled sock."

"A home-made blackjack?" Gilda asked as she winced.  "Ouch.  Now I'm glad they only nailed me with chloroform while I was helping them change a busted wagon wheel."

"They offered Iron Will five hundred bits to give a self-help seminar on being the figurative bird that escapes its metaphorical cage!" the Minotaur said.  "They said that a literal cage would help to drive the point home!"  He looked the bars up and down.  "Admittedly, Iron Will should have seen this coming."

"What about you, Trixie?" Spike asked, turning to the showpony.

"They promised to make the Great and Powerful Trixie a star!"  She sobbed, repeating the final syllable twice, tears streaming down her face.  "How could she refuse?!"

"I'm pretty sure they mentioned having a manticore, too," Gilda added.  "But I haven't seen it."

"Well, what's done is done," Spike said, standing up.  "But if there's one thing I've learned from my best friend, Twilight Sparkle, it's that every problem has a solution.  If we put our heads together, I know we can find a way out of this!"

"Righteous words, little sport—you can count on having my full support!" Zecora nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds nice and all," Gilda said, "but these collars around our necks give those vaudeville rejects complete control of us.  Good luck finding a way to escape when we can't control our own bodies."

"Trixie just wanted to see her name in lights!" Trixie moaned, sniffling, her head buried in her hooves.

"Can't we just take them off when Flim and Flam aren't looking?" Spike asked.

"Iron Will already tried that," the Minotaur said, shaking his head slowly.  "Even if the brothers aren't paying attention, the spell they cast on the collars automatically freezes us in place if we try to remove them."

"Darn."  Spike hissed.  I've gotta stay calm and collected, like Twilight always says.  What would *she** do next?  She wouldn't move on yet, she'd gather as much information as she could.*  Finishing his thought, he looked up at his companions again.  "Okay, so, we can't take the collars off, and they give Flim and Flam complete control over us for as long as they're actively maintaining their magic link.  So, let's say we just ran off into the woods and hid from them?"

"While they can't direct our bodies if they cannot see," Zecora said, "they can still compel our voices to scream."

"Right," Spike said, scratching his chin, "so even if we hid, they'd be able to pinpoint our location by making us scream, so that's out, too.  Trixie, do you think your magic could disrupt theirs?"

"Trixie wishes," the unicorn replied, having regained her composure.  "One powerful burst of unfocused magic would be enough to disrupt their focused control spell for at least a few seconds, but the collars seal away her magical abilities.  Trixie would imagine they've done the same to yours."

"Let's assume that's true for now."  Spike nodded.  "So no hiding, no magic, and no ripping off the collars."

"In other words, no escape," Gilda said, cocking her eyebrow at Spike.

"We can't think like that," Spike replied emphatically.  "My friends would never give up in a situation like this, and I won't, either.  Give me some time to think of something.  If there's a way out of this, I promise you I'll find it."

"Time is something we certainly are not lacking at the moment," Zecora said, bowing her head.

The prisoners slept restlessly through the rest of the night.  All of them—except for Spike, who laid on his back the entire night, staring up at the moon through the barred walls of his cage.

Opening Night in Vanhoover

"Welcome, citizens of Vanhoover!" Spike shouted to the applauding crowd as the spotlights settled on him and the loudspeakers blasted out their pre-recorded fanfare.  "Welcome and be amazed by the World Famous Flim Flam Brothers' Spectacular Travelling Menagerie!"  He waved to the audience while they whistled and cheered.

The red tuxedo he wore obscured the glowing collar around his neck, which controlled his every word and motion.  The fake mustache attached to his nose he minded a bit less than the rest of the outfit.

The ring was outdoors, with floodlights and fireworks illuminating the night sky.  The stands seating the crowds—their wooden components inexpensive, yet heavy—had been constructed quickly when nobody was looking.  Flim and Flam had spent the day handing out flyers around Vanhoover, ensuring that the seats were filled to capacity when the show began.

"Feast your eyes upon the rarest creatures in Equestria!" Spike continued.  "Watch as they perform feats beyond all imagination!"  The crowd roared with applause.

"I'm your host, Dragon!  Allow me to introduce you to the rest of the crew!  Straight from the Griffon Kingdom, she's half lion, half eagle, and all awesome!  Give it up for our famous stunt flier, Grizelda!"  Spike shouted Gilda's stage name, drawing out the vowels.  "Oohs" and "Aahs" could be heard from the audience as Gilda darted across the sky, doing several loops above the stands, her Wonderbolts costume becoming visible as the floodlights centered upon her.

"Up next," Spike said, "is our resident strongman!  With the raw power of ten full grown stallions, travelling here all the way from an enchanted labyrinth in the Everfree Forest to entertain you, let's have a round of applause for the Mighty Minotaur!"  The crowd erupted as the spotlights settled upon Iron Will, who wore a full-body jumpsuit the same color as his fur.  Like Spike, he wore a fake mustache.  He flexed his muscles and growled as the crowd gasped.

"They're eating this up, brother of mine!" Flim said, giggling as he and his brother continued to direct everyone's movements from behind the scenes.

"This is Vanhoover, Flim," Flam said.  "The town is practically isolated from the rest of Equestria!  These ponies are only used to seeing other ponies.  The crowds in other cities won't be this easy, so we'll use this as practice!"

"Good thinking, hermano y amigo!"  Flim grinned.  "Doesn't hurt that we made a killing with admissions alone, either.  Just wait until the Griffon spells out 'Visit the snack bar' in the clouds!"

"Next up, hailing from the mystical land of the Zebras, our resident magician, the mythical, magical Zebralia!" Spike said as Zecora, wearing a wizard's costume, appeared next to him in a burst of smoke, astonishing the crowd.

"And finally," Spike said, "this next one is for those of you who prefer a little danger with your excitement.  She's upturned an Ursa Major, she's axed the Alicorn Amulet, now observe from the edge of your seat as the Great and Powerful Trixie faces her deadliest opponent yet, the menacing Manticore!"  The spotlight drifted over to Trixie, who was dressed in a tuxedo similar to Spike's, with the addition of a red top hat.

A whip was strapped to her side and a wooden stool had been placed next to her.  Adjacent to it was a cage containing the aforementioned Manticore, who appeared to be attempting to hide its face from the crowds, noise, and lights with its paws.  "Let the show begin!" Spike declared, bowing as he backed away.

***

Three hours later, the five stars collapsed onto the floors of their cages.  "I'm ashamed of how low I was forced to stoop."  Zecora panted.  "But more than anything else, I'm pooped."

"You said it, sister," Gilda replied, rolling over onto her back.  "How're you holding up, tough guy?"  She cocked her head in Iron Will's direction.

"Iron Will is strong," the Minotaur said, leaning against the bars and pressing a bag of ice against the lower part of his back.  "But when Iron Will was forced to lift the entire audience, he may have pulled something..."

"At least you didn't have to break the sound barrier while detonating multi-colored pyrotechnics strapped to your butt," Gilda said, massaging her bandaged hindquarters.  "I can't believe the crowd thought that was a genuine Sonic Rainboom."

"And that Manticore," Trixie added, shaking her head.  "I was terrified of the beast until I realized that it was more scared of me than I was of it.  I don't think they've been treating the poor thing very well.  I hope my whip didn't hurt it!"

"The crowd was stunned, and quite confused, all because I pulled a rabbit out of a hat.  They are easily amused," Zecora said, her eyebrows raised and her upper eyelids lowered.

"They ate everything up," Spike said.  "When yours truly is working the crowd, it's easy to knock 'em dead."

"Don't tell me you're getting into this," Gilda replied, frowning.

"Of course not!" Spike said.  "I'm just saying... the cheesy things Flim and Flam made me say?  Only I could have made that work.  My throat is killing me, though.  I hope they give me a microphone next time."  He rubbed his neck tenderly.

"Next time, huh?" Iron Will asked.  "Guess that means you're not any closer to figuring out an escape plan."

"It seems like they've thought of everything," Spike said, scratching his chin.  "No ripping off our collars, no hiding, and no magic.  What's worse, I got a look at our tour schedule, and they've picked border towns that are all really far away from Canterlot and Ponyville, so the chances of running into anypony we know are slim.  For now, our best bet is to play along so they don't treat us any worse and hope that they make a mistake."

"Your plan sucks, dude," Gilda said.

"Totally."  Spike sighed.

"Hope seems faint, to be sure," Zecora said, sitting up.  "But we must keep our spirits up and our resolve must stay pure!"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie has her own reasons for wanting to escape," Trixie said.  "She simply cannot stomach the idea of playing second-banana to such inferior showponies."

"Heh, yeah," Gilda said with a laugh.  "The stuff they had us doing out there?  It may work on a border town like Vanhoover, but once we hit up some of the more connected cities, the stunts we're pulling now are gonna fall flat.  Imagine how it'll go over when we get an audience that's actually seen a Sonic Rainboom before.  I hope they turn violent."  The others laughed.

"I don't think that matters," Spike said, hoisting himself up on an elbow.  "Flim and Flam are more concerned with bits than anything else.  They'll make whatever money they can, then cut and run if things turn sour."

"Makes you wonder what they'll do with us if they decide to skip out."  Iron Will shuddered.

"Nothing good," Spike said as he grimaced.  "We know too much."

"One thing I don't get," Gilda said, "is how did they set up the ring, the stands, electronics, any of it?  That's at least a day's worth of work, and the two of them spent the whole day passing out fliers, so who set up the stage?"

"We did, of course, but the 'how' of it is a trade secret, I'm afraid," Flam replied, approaching them from the darkness, his brother following closely.

"Iron Will doesn't think you used that term correctly," Iron Will said, raising his index finger and his brow.

"You five were stupendous!" Flim turned towards Flam.  "I think they've earned a little reward, brother!"

"I think you're right," Flam said, nodding.

"This ought to be good," Spike replied, his voice monotone.

"We'll give you the entire night to rest and recuperate before our encore performance tomorrow!" the brothers shouted in unison.

"I'd say I'm surprised by your cruelty but, at this point, my expectations really can't get any lower."  Spike sighed as the others nodded.

"I knew they'd be excited," Flam said, nudging his brother.

"Again, I'm not hearing any deceit in your voice," Spike said, his eyes widening.  "I'm really curious as to how wide the disconnect between what I just said and what you just heard actually is."

"I like your enthusiasm!"  Flim winked at Spike.

"This is getting scary," Gilda whispered to Zecora, who nodded softly.

"Well, we'll let you get back to resting!  Goodnight, my shining stars!" Flam said as he and his brother withdrew with a bow.

"This combination of cunning and stupidity has me at a loss," Zecora said.  "I've never had to deal with such a contradictory boss."

"Yeah, no telling when they'll make a mistake," Spike agreed.  "They could see this whole thing through to the end without any slip ups, or they could trip over their own hooves and fall face-first into their campfire within the next five minutes.  Neither would surprise me."

"Which means we need to save ourselves," Gilda said.  "Whaddaya think, Spike?"

Spike was about to reply when he noticed, for the first time, how intently the others were staring at him.  As he made eye contact with each of them, they offered him an encouraging smile.  "If he's staying calm and collected..." Twilight Sparkle's words echoed in his memory.  "I bet he's doing a terrific job as a leader!" He allowed himself a reciprocating smile.

"Well?" Iron Will asked.

"I need to know more about these collars," Spike said.  "As a dragon, my body is naturally attuned to magic, and I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two from Princess Celestia and Twilight on that subject.  So, feeling the effects first hand will go a long way towards figuring out how to beat them.  I've already felt how the control aspect works, so now..."  He trailed off as he wrapped his hands around his collar.

"Spike, are you crazy?!"  Gilda looked hastily toward the brothers' campsite.  "If they find out you tried to pull your collar off, they'll just punish you!"

"She's right, little friend," Iron Will added, gripping the bars.  "When Iron Will tried it, they didn't feed him for two whole days!  It won't work and it's not worth it!"

"I know it won't work," was all Spike would say before giving his collar a tug.

Immediately upon pulling, the collar released its magical restraints, a green forcefield enveloping the palms of his hands, running down his arms, and spreading to cover his entire body.  His petrified form fell to the floor with a thud.

Bread in Captivity

It had been two days since Spike had frozen himself while trying to remove his collar.  In that time, Flim and Flam had only allowed him out of stasis to perform the three encore performances requested by the citizens of Vanhoover.

Finally, the brothers decided that he had been punished enough and released him, letting him break his fast with a few slices of bread.  The other prisoners enjoyed slightly more balanced meals.

"Eat up, Dragon, you must be starving!" Flam said, gesturing towards the bread.

"Hopefully that'll teach ya not to try to take off the collar," Flim added with a smirk.

"Sure, lesson learned."  Spike groaned, eating each slice of bread whole as his empty belly growled.

"I should hope so, dear boy.  We certainly didn't enjoy punishing you.  After all, you've quickly become our star attraction.  Without you as ringleader, we may as well have no show at all!"  Flam nodded.  "You all rest up.  We've got a long trek ahead of us tomorrow!  We're bound for Las Pegasus!"

"Yes indeedy!" Flim said.  "My brother and I will be celebrating our successful Vanhoover shows with some delicious apple cider!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Spike replied, nodding rapidly as he ignored the hunger pangs.  "You two celebrate.  You've earned it after the spectacular shows you put on!"

"Indeed, we have!" Flim said, his face lighting up.  "Why, let's go all out tonight, eh, brother?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth!  We'll pay for it in the morning, but like little Dragon said, we've earned it!"  The brothers returned to their own campsite and began to fill their mugs with fresh apple cider.

"Why are you sucking up to them all of a sudden?" Gilda asked, her brow raised.  "And where did they even get cider?  I see plenty of apple trees, but no cider vendors."

"That he wants to see the brothers flourish, no doubt he has become malnourished."  Zecora frowned.  His fellow prisoners began tossing portions of their own meals into Spike's cage.

"Thanks, guys," Spike replied as he munched on his more complete meal.  "But I'm not delirious.  I want them to wear themselves out.  Iron Will, do you think you're strong enough to bend the bars of our cages?"

"Well sure," Iron Will said, "but Flim and Flam would just recapture us if we ran."

"Nope, tonight's the night we escape," Spike corrected, sticking both his chin and his chest out.

"Don't tease us, little man."  Iron Will's lower lip quivered.  "Is this really it?  Are we finally gonna get away from these slave drivers?"

"As long as you guys do exactly what I tell you, we'll be on our way home by the time the sun rises!"

"Spike, I could kiss you!" Trixie shouted, her smile raising her cheeks to her eyes as Spike blushed.

"Spill it, champ!" Gilda added, smiling just as widely.

"Not yet," Spike said, causing everyone to frown.  "Once Flim and Flam are asleep, I'll tell you everything, and then we're as good as gone!"

***

Three hours later, Flim and Flam both appeared to be asleep, and Spike was free to talk to his friends.  "So here's what I discovered," Spike began.  "The collars freeze anypony who tries to take them off."  Three seconds passed with nobody saying a word.

"Uh..."  Gilda looked back and forth among the others.  "We sorta knew that already."

"What I mean is," Spike continued, "when I pulled on my collar, the palms of my hands were frozen first, then it moved on to the rest of my body."

"I'm still not following," Iron Will said, scratching his head.

"One thing Twilight taught me about magical trinkets and enchanted items is that it's always important to figure out where the spell starts out and how it spreads," Spike explained.  "When the collar was controlling me during the shows, I could feel the spell coming from the inner loop of the collar, starting at my neck and spreading up and down from there."

"And?" Trixie asked as politely as her growing impatience would allow.

"While the control spell starts from the inside of the collar, the stasis spell comes from the outside," Spike said.  "I wasn't frozen the other night because I tried to escape, I was frozen because I pulled on a collar, and if I pulled one of your collars, I'd get frozen by it, and you wouldn't!"  Four pairs of eyes grew wide as they heard this.

"Okay, that's cool and all, but it still ends with someone getting frozen and the collars not actually coming off," Gilda said, tilting her head.

"Not if we set it up right," Spike replied, alternating his gaze between the others.  "Another thing I noticed about the stasis spell is that the target falls over.  Gravity is the key.  Iron Will, this is gonna come down to your strength.  Trixie, your magic will be important, too."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie will stand at the ready, if you can manage to remove her collar," Trixie said with a nod.

"Iron Will is always ready to show off his strength!" the minotaur shouted, stretching.

"Perfect," Spike said.  "For phase one, you gotta run up against the bars with enough force to make your cage slide over.  Get it as close to Trixie's cage as you can.  That's going to make a lot of noise so, Zecora and Gilda, you two act as lookouts and warn us if Flim or Flam wake up!"  The zebra and griffon nodded.  "Alright, go," Spike said, nodding towards Iron Will.

In response, Iron Will charged at the side of his cage with all of his might, head-butting the bars and causing the cage to lean over while sliding sideways toward Trixie's own cage.  "How was that, little friend?" Iron Will asked, rubbing the top of his head and closing one eye.

"That was awesome!  You got it there in one push!" Spike exclaimed, giving Iron Will a thumbs-up.  "Anything from the brothers?"

"No sound, nor movement from their spot.  Chances are we won't get caught," Zecora said as Gilda nodded.

"Next, Trixie, stick your head out through the bars," Spike prompted.

"Like this?" Trixie asked, slipping her head in between the metal poles.

"Right," Spike said.  "Now, Iron Will, here's where we need to be precise.  First, press your feet up against the bars while grabbing them with your hands, so that you're pretty much hanging off of them."

"Good?" Iron Will asked as he moved himself into the aforementioned position.

"Perfect!  Now, in one quick motion, let go of the bars and grab Trixie's collar.  Hold it tight," Spike said.

"Alright."  Iron Will nodded.  "One, two, three!" he declared, releasing the bars and wrapping his fingers around Trixie's collar, clenching it in his fists.  As expected, the green stasis aura consumed Iron Will almost instantly.  He began to fall backward, completely petrified.  His grip on the collar remained.

"Spike?" Trixie asked as Iron Will's weight began to pull her shoulders into the bars.

"Lower your head!" Spike commanded.  Trixie did just that, and the collar slipped right off.  Trixie's smile spread from one ear to the other as Gilda and Zecora whispered words of praise towards Spike.

"You're doing great," Spike said to Trixie and the frozen Iron Will.  "Now, use your magic on Iron Will, and get a feel for how to mess up theirs."

"Right," Trixie said, "then Trixie shall free him, disrupt all of your collars so they can be pulled off as well, and we're completely free of their control?"

"Yes, yes, and yes!"  Spike nodded.

"Be amazed by my powers," Trixie quietly exclaimed with a mystical wave of her hoof as she began to scan Iron Will's body with her magic before putting out a more intense burst that banished the stasis field.  Iron Will quickly climbed to his feet, scratching his nose while looking relieved.  "Now, after Trixie casts her next spell, remove the collar quickly!" she commanded.

"Iron Will will be more than happy to do that," he said flatly.  A beam of magical energy burst from Trixie's horn and lit up the collar, which Iron Will promptly tore apart.

"Freedom," Iron Will said, quietly tapping his fist against his chest.  "Iron Will is fairly certain he knows what comes next."  Inhaling sharply, Iron Will grunted loudly as he bent the bars of his cage apart and hopped down onto the ground.  Five minutes later, he and Trixie had both liberated and de-collared Spike, Gilda, and Zecora.

"We should free the Manticore as well," Trixie said, running off towards its cage.  The others followed her, turning their backs and failing to notice that the fire near where Flim and Flam slept had been extinguished.  The Manticore, upon waking and finding Trixie standing in front of its cage, growled and slinked to the rear of its prison.

"There, there," Trixie said softly.  "Trixie is sorry she cracked that whip at you.  She's here to set you free!"  The Manticore crept towards its barred door and gave her a cautious sniff.  Iron Will pried the door off of the cage and the five prisoners moved away.  The Manticore stepped out and glanced at its rescuers one-by-one before it took to the air, flying in the direction of the Everfree Forest.

"All that's left now is to teach those pencil-thin suits what happens when you kidnap a Griffon!" Gilda said, cracking her knuckles.

"Is that really necessary, Gilda?" Spike asked with a frown.

"In this instance, I must agree.  If the brothers skip town, they'll be home free," Zecora replied, turning to face the campsite as well.

"She's right, Spike," Iron Will said, patting the dragon on the shoulder.  "Nopony else knows what they've done, so it's up to us to hand 'em over to the authorities."

"You can run along home, if you wish.  You've done more than enough already,"  Trixie smiled.  "But somepony needs to make sure that they don't get away with this."

"No, I get it," Spike replied.  "We need to bring them to justice."

"Fire's out," Gilda whispered as they approached the campsite.

"Well now, what do we have here, brother of mine?" Flim asked, clicking on a flashlight and shining it under his chin.

"Uncooperative assets, from the looks of it!" Flam replied, activating his own flashlight.  They were both smiling.

"It's over," Iron Will said, taking a step towards them.  "We broke your collars, so you're all out of tricks.  We're handing you over to the Royal Guard and going home!"

"After I beat the snot out of the both of you for detonating fireworks on my butt!" Gilda added, a bestial growl echoing from her throat.

"Au contraire," Flim said, raising an eyebrow and sporting a smug grin.  "We were prepared for this little contingency.  The only place you're going is back to your cages."

"We've got plenty more collars to replace the ones you destroyed.  Which, by the way, will be coming out of your paychecks!" Flam added.

"And how exactly do you plan on recapturing us?" Iron Will asked, folding his arms.

"Guys," Spike whispered, "I think we should run.  I don't like the looks on their faces..."

"What could they possibly be hiding?" Gilda asked, shaking her head.

"Ready Flim?"

"Ready Flam!"

"Let's bing-bang-zam!" they shouted in unison as their horns ignited.  Their illuminated faces rose high into the air as the sound of mechanical turning of gears overpowered the ambience of the quiet night.  Spotlights activated and pre-recorded fanfare blasted out of speakers as Spike and company got their first clear look at Flim's and Flam's trump card.

Standing before them on two legs was a mechanical monster the likes of which had never been seen before.  The legs were connected to a thick torso and its shoulders connected to two large, metallic arms.  The exterior was covered by a coat of red paint.  At the very top sat Flim and Flam on a couch.

"Guess that explains who did all the manual labor before the shows... and where they got the cider..." Spike said, his voice quivering as they all stared open-mouthed.

"Allow us to present the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand-And-One!" Flim declared.

"Indeed," Flam said, nodding his head.  "With our cider-making days long gone, we went ahead and modified this little baby for heavy lifting and intense combat!  It still makes cider, of course, but only recreationally."

"Iron Will marvels at your engineering skills," the Minotaur said, stepping forward with a grin on his face.  "But this technological terror you've constructed is no match for the power of my bicepsOOF—"

He grunted as a giant, metal fist slammed into his torso, sending him sliding on his back several yards across the ground, leaving a shallow ditch in his wake.  Spike and the others gasped and ran to his side.

"Nope."  Iron Will grunted, coming out of his shock.  "We're in trouble."

Curtain Call

"Iron Will's gonna need a few minutes..."  The Minotaur groaned, wiggling around in the ditch he had created after being knocked backward by the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand-and-One.  "Get out of here, friends!"  He waved a trembling arm away from himself.  "Bring help!"

"That's crazy, we're not just gonna leave you here-whoa!" Spike shouted as Zecora head-butted the baby dragon, flipping him over and onto her back.  Zecora, Gilda, and Trixie took off running, leaving Iron Will behind.  "What are you guys doing!?"  Spike cried out as he extended an arm towards his fallen friend.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie likes this no more than you, Spike."  Trixie huffed as they ran, speaking quickly.  "But we already know they won't harm Iron Will—they need us all for their show!"

"She's right, little dude," Gilda said.  "As long as at least one of us gets away and gets help, we'll still win!"  Spike was about to protest, but gulped when he beheld the towering, mechanical monster lumbering towards them.  It was gaining.

"Speaking of which, I must interject," Zecora said as they got closer to the tree-line of the nearby forest.  "Gilda's wings afford her the greatest chance of escape, correct?"

"Yeah," Gilda said, nodding.  "And I'd really like to just take off, but we're in this together, right?"

"But we can't be recaptured together, like you guys said," Spike conceded, shaking his head.  "Grab Trixie and fly away from here.  Get help, and come back for us."

"What about you two?" Trixie asked, frowning.

"We'll keep the chase going for as long as we can.  Zecora, I hate to ask, but—"

"You need not ask, my little friend," Zecora said, interrupting Spike, "we'll go home together, in the end."  She narrowed her gaze towards the approaching forest, her pace quickening just a bit more.

"And you guys are sure about this?" Gilda asked.  Suddenly, a gigantic hand slapped the ground behind them, causing them all to leap into the air.

"Yes, get going!" Spike ordered.  Gilda spread her wings and took flight, grabbing hold of Trixie in the process.  They broke away from Spike and Zecora, and flew away.

"Brother?!"  Flim swiveled in his seat to watch two of the escapees fly away.

"We'll worry about them later!" Flam shouted.  "First and foremost we need to secure the dragon!"

"But they're heading into the forest!" Flim whined.

"Ready the barrel cannons!" Flam snapped in response.  Flim nodded softly and smacked a nearby button.  A fragment of each of the Cider Squeezy's forearms split away, rising above the rest of the extremeties, which shortened themselves in length to fill the empty space.

"Barrel cannons?" Zecora asked, faintly overhearing them.

"The previous model of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy was able to pack the cider it produced into sealed wooden barrels!" Spike explained.  "I guess they turned those barrels into cannons or something?"  Spike's question was answered in the form of exploding gunpowder, followed swiftly by a barrel crashing into the ground in front of them, its open end face-down and embedded into the ground.  It was big enough to, at least, contain Zecora.

"You were half-right!" Zecora screamed as Spike began to gnaw his fingernails.  Two more barrels hit the ground, each getting a little closer to Spike and Zecora, the latter of whom darted to the side and began running parallel to the forest.  A volley of barrels blocked their path every step of the way.  "How many of those things do they have?!" Zecora asked as she skipped to the side to avoid the edge of another incoming barrel.

"Back in Ponyville, they were able to produce a small mountain of cider barrels, way larger than the machine itself," Spike said as he bounced along on Zecora's back.  "They must be using some kind of magic to store them all!  Who knows when they'll run out of ammunition?!"

***

"Doesn't feel right leaving everyone behind," Gilda muttered as they flew over Vanhoover.

"No, it doesn't," Trixie agreed over the sound of the rushing wind, craning her neck up at Gilda.  "The Great and Powerful Trixie is open to suggestions if you've got them!"

"Hey, is that Grizelda?" a voice called out from the ground.  Gilda and Trixie grunted a synchronous "Huh?" as they looked down.

"Hey, yeah!  And she's carrying the Great and Powerful Trixie!  What's going on?" said another voice.  Below them, the citizens of Vanhoover were starting to gather to stare up at the spectacle.

"And look at all those spotlights out by the forest!  Is that music I hear?" an additional villager asked.

"Um... yeah!" Gilda said.  "Um... come one, come all!  Witness a... special... farewell show that we're totally doing right this second!"

"Emphasis on the 'witness' part!" Trixie added as they both produced the largest, tooth-filled smiles they could manage and nodded profusely.  "We will be performing all new tricks that nopony has seen before!"

"For free!" Gilda said.  "And... it's almost over!  So you'd all better get over there and see what's happening now!"

That was all the crowd needed to hear.  They stampeded toward the spotlights and pre-recorded fanfare, hoping to see just a little bit more from their favorite performers.

"Well, that's something," Trixie said.

"We going back now?  The audience is gonna need an experienced showpony to announce what they're seeing," Gilda said with a wink.

"Actually..." Trixie replied, a sly grin spreading across her face.  "I think I know one more performer we can invite to our Five-Minute Reunion Special."

***

Zecora, having run out of options, turned to face the brothers, whose transport was slowly skulking towards them.  "Finally wised up and quit running, eh?" Flam asked, raising a brow and sporting a grin.  "Smart move.  This'll go a lot better for you both if you surrender peacefully.  I'm thinking only four days without food.  Sound fair, Flim?"

"Sounds fair, Flam!" his brother replied, mirroring the grin.

"Zecora?" Spike asked.

"Spike..." Zecora whispered, turning her head to the side.  "If there's anything you can remember about that machine that can help us here, anything at all, now is the time to save our rears."

"It's so different now from how it was back then, but it looks like most of the original functions are still there," Spike said as the construct drew closer.

"The Apple Family kept the farm when the day was done, surely you can recall how it is they won!"  The zebra hissed, slowly backing away.  The machine took another step closer.

"They won because of Twilight and the others," Spike said softly.  "They were able to work together to produce more cider than the brothers."  Spike's eyes grew wide.  "No, wait, that's right!  Flim and Flam still won the competition, but lost afterward because they had..."

"They had what?" Zecora asked.  She gasped as she bumped into a barrel that had impacted behind them.

"Aw, tough luck, Zebralia," Flam said, stroking his mustache.  "Looks like you and your little friend have nowhere left to run!"  The left cannon launched another barrel.  Zecora bucked her hind legs forward, sending Spike falling to the ground as the barrel encased her.  Spike turned to face the barrel, gasped, and immediately began trying to pry the wooden projectile up out of the ground, but it was too deeply implanted.

"Run away, and do not worry!" Spike heard Zecora say from inside the barrel.  "We still need you to tell our story!"

Suddenly, fireworks erupted in the sky above.  Bright, multicolored bursts accompanied the familiar sound of a roaring crowd.  The two stallions and the dragon all looked and beheld the source of the light, a smirking Trixie, and the source of the cheering: what had to have been the entire population of Vanhoover.  As this realization sank into the heads of the three combatants, every spotlight Flim and Flam had left back at their campsite suddenly shone upon them and the surrounding area.

"It's Dragon!" one mare shouted.

"What is that thing they're fighting?" a young colt asked.

"I've never seen anything like it before!" a stallion said.

"I dig giant robots!" another mare added.

"What is going on?" Zecora asked, pressing her ear against the inside of her wooden prison.

"It's Trixie!" Spike said.  "And I think Gilda's working the spotlights.  They brought the whole town!"

"Fillies and gentlecolts," Trixie shouted, turning to address the audience.  "You are here to bare witness to the truth!  The Flim Flam Brothers have been holding us all against our will and controlling our actions with magic!"  The crowd gasped.

"Indeed," Trixie continued, enjoying everyone's rapt attention.  "They pay us nothing, feed us very little, and keep us locked in cages!  Even now, as we desperately fight for our freedom, the brothers have loosed upon us the giant monstrosity  you see behind me!"

The crowd roared, hissed, and shook their hooves at Flim and Flam, who peered down at the audience from behind the armrest of their couch.

"Seems as though we've encountered a slight problem here in Vanhoover," Flim whispered, leaning towards his brother.

"Nopony wants to watch our show," Flam said, ducking as an empty cider bottle flew past his head and a rotten tomato hit him square on the nose.  "Next town?"

"Next town!" Flim said, nodding.

"You will not be escaping that easily!" Trixie shouted.  She put her lips around her hoof and whistled sharply.  Flim and Flam raised their eyebrows in unison, but their expressions quickly took on a more fearful nature as they heard the sound of a lion's roar and the flapping of wings.  They craned their necks upward to behold the Manticore from their act rocketing down toward them.

"Our pet returns to bite the hand that feeds."  Flim hissed, gritting his teeth and regaining his composure.  "You know... hypothetically feeds."

"Too bad this hand is reinforced with steel!" Flam replied, twirling his mustache as the Cider Squeezy swung its right arm toward the Manticore.  The creature only barely managed to roll over in the air to avoid the blow, but had to fly upward and away to avoid a punch from the left arm.

"Yes, have at you!" Flim shouted, directing the machine to stagger after the Maticore.

"Give it what's for!  Give them all what's for!" Flam exclaimed as the crowd scattered to avoid the machine's giant feet.

"Spike!" Gilda called out, landing next to the dragon.

"Gilda!"  Spike placed a hand on the griffon's shoulder.  "I know how to stop that thing!"

"I was hoping you'd say that.  Flim and Flam have totally lost it!"  Gilda frowned.

"I just need to get up to where they are!"  Spike said, pointing up at the red couch upon which the brothers sat.

"Say no more!"  Gilda grabbed Spike by the scales on his back and tossed him onto her own.  "Stay off the back seat—it's seen better days.  Hang on tight, little dude!"

Spike whimpered a bit as he wrapped his arms around Gilda's neck before the two of them bolted into the sky.  It didn't take long for Flim and Flam to notice the second airborne threat.  They doubled their efforts as they tried to lay hands upon both the Manticore and the griffon.

"We are so dead!" Spike shouted, scrunching his eyes shut.

"Oh please!"  Gilda rolled her eyes.  "Those are two of the slowest moving things I've ever had to dodge in the air."  True to her word, Gilda weaved among the flailing arms and flying fists with relative ease.

"Duck and move, brother!" Flam ordered.

"Pugilism! Capital idea!" Flim said.  As Gilda closed in on the brothers, the Cider Squeezy lowered its stance, putting plenty of distance between themselves and the griffon.  Its left arm snatched her out of the air, causing her to yelp, and grasping her firmly in its fist.  Spike, who'd been knocked off Gilda's back, was now falling.

"Manny, fetch!" Trixie commanded, cupping her hooves to her mouth.  Spike quickly found himself uplifted again, this time with his tail grasped loosely between the Manticore's jaws.

"Please don't bite down!"  The Manticore nodded, inadvertently jerking Spike back and forth.  "Alright, release the Spike Bomb!" Spike shouted.

The Manticore complied.  Spike yelped a little as he fell a few more feet before bouncing against the cushion of the couch, landing between Flim and Flam.

"What do you think you're doing, Dragon?"  Flam and his brother glared at Spike.

"My name is Spike!" Spike said as he inhaled sharply and exhaled a rather large burst of green flame.  Flim and Flam both scooted away hoping to avoid the heat.  The crowd below cheered Spike's name over and over again.

The baby dragon formed a tight circle with his lips and directed the fire in a concentrated stream directly into the receptor node that the brothers had always used to activate the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy's cider-making functions.  Because of the intensity of Spike's flame, the magic poured into that portion of the machine was tremendous.

"That's too much power, our device is no longer equipped to produce cider at that pace!" Flim shouted, tackling Spike and pinning him to the surface below the couch.

"Too late."  Spike grinned as the large vacuuming apparatus used for collecting apples from the trees detached from the back of the Cider Squeezy and positioned itself over the nearby forest.  While drawing in a mighty gust of wind, it began to suck each tree up from its roots, one-by-one.  It only took three trees reaching the processing center of the machine for the debris to jam up the works.

"No, what have you done?!" Flam cried, hooves over his mouth and tears in his eyes.  The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy began to halt all of its motions, its joints and gears jerking back and forth as it tried to work through the disaster that was raging within its core.

"She can work through this," Flim said, nodding as sweat poured down from his brow.  "She just needs more power!"

Flam nodded and his horn glowed even brighter than it had been as he sent another surge of magical energy into the node that controlled the Cider Squeezy's movement capabilities.  As he had predicted, the mechanized menace began to move more deliberately as chunks of bark and leaf sputtered out from all of its crevices.

"Keep at it!" Flim shouted as he continued to hold Spike down.  "She's almost out of the woods!"  He looked down at Spike and grinned.  "Or rather, the woods are almost out of her."  He rapidly raised and lowered his brow.

"That isn't funny," Spike said flatly.

The Cider Squeezy jerked forward in one abrupt motion as a massive amount of debris was expelled from it, sending Spike and Flim tumbling over the front.  Spike hung onto the edge with a single claw while Flim bit down on his tail to secure himself.

"Spike!" Trixie and Gilda screamed in unison, the latter watching helplessly from the Cider Squeezy's grasp.

"Hang on, brother!" Flam said.  "We're almost mobile again!  I'll catch you both!"

That's when Spike turned his attention away from Flam and saw a blue mass in the distance barreling across the landscape toward them.

"Iron Will got his second wind, you two-bit hacks!" the minotaur shouted, charging towards the Cider Squeezy at a speed that astonished the crowd.

"Go, Mighty Minotaur, go!" a small colt cheered as the audience erupted in agreement.

"That's... not going to end well," Flam muttered, hiding under the sofa.

"When somepony tries to block," Iron Will said as he hunched forward and put out one final burst of speed, "SHOW THEM THAT YOU ROCK!"  He kicked against the ground, propelling himself into the air with all his might.  He positioned his left shoulder and arm forward and tensed his muscles.  Hitting the Cider Squeezy in the center of its chest, he body-slammed the monster.

The resounding "clang" and the creaking of dented metal were accompanied by the sight of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand-and-One tumbling backwards, coming to a rest flat on the ground as dust was sent billowing into the air and the shockwave made everyone stumble backwards.

Spike, Flim, and Flam were all sent rolling across the plains.  Spike came to a stop several yards before Flim and Flam did.  The sound of countless gasps could be heard.

Though his head ached, Spike slowly opened his eyes to see Iron Will, Gilda, Trixie, and Zecora staring down at him with wide-eyes and frowns.  He managed a weak laugh and gave them the thumbs-up.

"He's okay!" Iron Will shouted.  The crowd went wild.  They whistled, they cheered, they cried, they stomped, and clapped vigorously as Gilda and Trixie lifted Spike to his feet.  Facing their audience, all five companions took several deep bows as the audience cheered even more loudly.

"This just..." Flam coughed, hoisting himself up onto his elbows.  "This just did not go the way I thought it would.  At all."

"You said it!  Let's cut our losses and vamoose!" Flim said, struggling to stand up.

"And where do you two think you're going?" Spike asked.  Flim and Flam turned around to see their five stars and a snarling manticore standing over them.

"Don't eat them," Trixie said to the manticore as it licked its lips.  "They aren't worth the indigestion."

"No, instead of being eaten, Iron Will submits that they deserve to be fed!" the minotaur said, cracking his fingers.

"All the knuckle-sandwiches they can eat!" Gilda added, grinning as she clasped one claw in the other.  Flim and Flam trembled as their former captives closed in around them.

***

"I think that'll about do it, right, Zecora?" Spike asked as he and his friends finished tying off the last of five sacks at the edge of the brothers' camp.

"Indeed," Zecora replied, nodding.  "This has been a successful divide of the profits among us five!"

"Here," Trixie said, levitating her bag towards Spike, a smirk on her face.  "The Great and Powerful Trixie's reputation as a slayer of giant robots will no doubt earn her plenty of business.  Buy something nice for your friend, Rarity."  Her smirk changed to a warm smile as she wrapped an arm around the dragon's neck and planted a kiss on his cheek.  "Thank you for everything!"  This caused Spike to blush and mumble his own gratitude quietly.

"You rock, dude!" Gilda said, catching Spike in a headlock and grinding her knuckles against the top of his head.

"We couldn't have escaped without you, my friend.  If ever you need Iron Will's help with anything, you need only ask," Iron Will said, extending his hand.

"It's true, just as we are, and as is the crowd, your friend Twilight Sparkle will be quite proud," Zecora said, gently patting Spike on the head as he shook Iron Will's hand.

"Aw, thanks, guys.  I'm just glad we all made it out of this together," Spike said as he scratched the back of his head.  The other four nodded as the Manticore ate its fill of Flim's and Flam's rations nearby.

"Spike!" a voice called out.  Spike's head swerved to see Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy emerge from the distant crowd.

"Twilight!  Guys!"  Spike ran away from the campsite.  He quickly passed Flim and Flam, who were tied together back-to-back with a long rope and covered in bruises, and dove into Twilight's waiting embrace.

"I was so worried!" Twilight exclaimed as she nuzzled him.

"We've been looking all over Equestria for you!" Rarity shouted, embracing the dragon after Twilight had released him.

"I knew you guys would find me," Spike said, his smile extending from one ear to the other.

"Reckon we're a mite late, though," Applejack said, glancing towards Flim and Flam.  "So those snakes really were behind all this."

"They don't look so good," Rainbow Dash added, grinning.

"It serves them right for kidnapping innocent creatures," Fluttershy said, frowning.

"I'm gonna throw you the biggest 'Welcome Home' party you've ever seen!" Pinkie said as she snatched Spike off the ground and tossed him into the air.

"Catch you later, Spike," Gilda called out as she, Iron Will, and Trixie walked past Spike and his friends, giving them each a soft nod.  The six mares stared wide-eyed at the faces they recognized, but were unable to question the situation before the three of them disappeared into the crowd.  Zecora came to a stop in front of Twilight.

"Zecora, you're here too?" Twilight asked, offering a smile.

"Yes, I was a part of this trying ordeal," Zecora said, nodding.  "But Spike here saved us all for real!"

***

"So, what's next for you two?" Gilda asked as she, Trixie, and Iron Will approached the Vanhoover Inn.

"Well, you remember the discussion Iron Will and I had during that first day that Spike was frozen?" Trixie asked, turning to Gilda.

"Oh yeah!"  Gilda nodded.  "So you guys are going into business together, then?"

"We sure are," Iron Will said, thumping his chest.  "With our combined showmanship, we'll no doubt put together an act that will dazzle all of Equestria!"

"There's room for you, too, if you're interested," Trixie said, extending her hoof to Gilda.

"Sounds like a blast," Gilda replied, glancing off to the side.  "And I might take you up on that someday.  For now, though, I'm just looking forward to having some time to myself."

Gilda bid her new friends farewell, flying off into the dark sky as Iron Will and Trixie retired for the night.

***

"Geez, that sounds nuts!"  Rainbow Dash said after Zecora and Spike finished telling their story.

"Always knew Flim and Flam were a few apples short of a mug of cider, but it sounds like they really lost their marbles after Ponyville," Applejack said.

"Spike, I have to say, I'm very impressed with the way you handled yourself in this situation," Twilight said.  "And I'm very proud of you!"

"Aw, it was nothin', really," Spike said, waving the compliment off.  "I just took your advice and used all the stuff you taught me.  But yeah, I was pretty awesome for a while, there."

Twilight smiled and shook her head.  Nearby, Princess Luna was directing two members of the Royal Guard to lead a now-shackled Flim and Flam towards a cage sitting atop a chariot.

"In the end, this is for the best," Flim said, turning to Spike and smiling at him, a few of his teeth missing.

"What?" Spike asked, raising his brow.

"Don't cry, little Dragon.  Letting you go was the right thing to do," Flam said, shaking his head and sniffling.

"Get help," Spike said, lowering his brow.

"Say, brother of mine..." Flim said as he stepped up into his cage.  "You know what place probably doesn't have much to look forward to in the way of show-stopping entertainment?"

"Prison?" Flam asked, joining his brother in the paddy-wagon.

"Exactly, prison!" Flim replied, nodding vigorously.  "Sew a few jumpsuits together to make some curtains, put a stage together with the cafeteria tables, and we'll make a killing on admissions alone!"

"We'll have to take up smoking in order to utilize the profits, but you're right!  I think we're going to be the next big thing in Canterlot Penitentiary!  Driver?" Flam turned his attention toward the Pegasi who would pull the cart.  "We insist that you take us there immediately!"  The guards slammed the cage door shut and the Pegasi took to the sky.

"Huh."  Spike grunted, shrugging his shoulders.  "Silver linings, I guess."  He and the others laughed together as they set out for their return trip to Ponyville.