For a Very Important Date
Thunder roared and dark winds raged. A long-forgotten beast from the deepest pits of Tartarus now roamed the streets of Ponyville, its rich laugh echoing off the brightly colored rooftops. Its form was blacker than the deepest night; its heart was blacker still. Six mares stood before it, unbowed and unafraid. Several more ran screaming in panic. The rest of us were used to this kind of thing by now.
“Yeah, can I get those hay fries to go?”
Tick tick tick.
I would have gotten the hay fries to go anyway, honestly. I simply didn't have the time to spare eating them. It was 12:49 already, and I had to be back home by 1:52. Eating them there would have used four and a half minutes too many. I would know. Time is my business, after all, not to mention my name, and no one respects a clockmaker who isn't punctual. Doctor T.W. Turner, at your service. Take my card, I insist. Anyway, I don't make a habit out of being late, and this was certainly no exception. I had errands to run, very little time to run them in, and now an ugly monster-thing that certainly wasn't going to make my day any easier. Traffic would be awful, for starters, and worse if there was rubble. I hate rubble. My first stop was pretty close, at least: The Radiant Rose.
Tick tick tick.
The store, quaint and quiet. The door, locked, with a well-worn and much used sign hanging from it: Closed, for apocolypse(s). Still, the light was on, so I knocked.
“You in there, Roseluck?”
“No. Go away.” The reply was muffled. She was probably hiding under her desk, again.
“Please, Roseluck. I just want one flower. I'll pay extra?”
“What use is money?! The world is ending!” As if to punctuate her statement, the ground shook mightily. A few blocks away, Rainbow Dash had hit the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple monster-thing in the muzzle, and it stumbled backwards, probably crushing some street performer's cart, or somepony's cabbage stand, or something.
“It ends every other week! It ended twice last Tuesday! Please, this is important!”
No reply.
“I'll share my hay fries!”
Slowly, the door unlatched. Hallelujah. “Thank you. All I need is a single yellow rose, so –”
“Oh, I don't stock roses here. Part of a non-compete with Daisy.”
I stayed as calm and civil as I could manage, under the circumstances. “Your store is called The Radiant Rose. WHY IN EQUESTRIA would you name your store The Radiant Rose if you DON”T. SELL. ROSES!”
Roseluck slammed the door.
Tick tick tick. Tick tick tick.
The Divine Daisy was all the way across town, and by the time I got there I was out of hay fries. I got my rose, eventually, but now I owe the proprietor a few to-be-determined favors. Don't ask me why favors are more useful after the world ends than bits, but they are. More importantly, eight minutes forty-six seconds of negotiation plus twenty-nine minutes total walking (worsened by rubble, of course), left me with altogether too little time to lose. Still, the next stop was my last, and it looked to be simpler. The Cakes were pretty reasonable, after all, and Sugarcube Corner was... right next to the giant monster-insect-dragon-pony thing. Hmm. Was it that giant a second ago? Ah, well.
Tick tick tick.
Sugarcube corner was empty, which was odd. On its own, more odd than the huge creature just outside its front door. Perhaps the two were related somehow. In any case, I didn't waste a single moment of my nine hundred and thirty-four remaining trotting up to the counter and ringing its little brass bell. And a bright pink pony didn't waste a moment rushing in the door, across the floor, and to the other side of that same counter.
“...Pinkie. The Cakes are...”
“Out of town, silly! But I promised I'd watch the store for them, and I've been trying to be more responsible, and I've never had any problems with the store before well except for that one time with Applejack and, ooh, that incident with all the noodles, but I paid for all the damages even though Twilight helped a little with that and they've had more faith in me since I started watching Pumpkin and Pound and aren't they adorable look at these pictures, really, don't you think...”
Pinkie could go on for a while. I tried to pretend her voice was something calming, like the ticking of a clock, but that just reminded me how late I really was. The roars and screams outside weren't helping, I suppose.
“...And I know I should be outside helping the girls, but I Pinkie Promised I'd watch the bakery and losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever and I can't be in two places at once well I could but I shouldn't so I won't so...”
She really could. The whole town remembered the day she was in twenty or thirty places at once. Scarier than the monster outside now, I'd reckon. Much. Scarier.
“...And to this day I never feed Gummy cheese. Excuse me a moment.” She ran outside, a bright pink blur, and then there was an indescribable sound. If you really had to describe it, like your life depended on it, well, you couldn't. But you'd try, and you'd say it sounded like a cross between a cannon and a kazoo, but with more confetti. And possibly diabetes. In a blink, she was back. “Can I take your order?”
“Um, yes. A bag of your best muffins, please.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” And she started to bake. I started.
“Nothing... already done, is there?”
“Of course there are muffins done! This is a bakery, silly! But you asked for my best, and the best are always fresh!” She started to hum. The thing outside roared.
“Anyway I can... help?”
“Ooh, good idea!” She tossed me the necklace she was wearing. “Go out there and think laughterific thoughts!”
I chuckled nervously.
“Now you're getting it!” Somehow, she pushed me out the door. And time sped up.
Ticktickticktickticktick.
The next eight minutes and fourteen seconds were an utter blur. Less than a blur: I can remember no part of them, no trace or detail. I only know the length by identifying how long the gap is between my memories. Still, I'm apparently pretty decent at dodging, if nothing else, and since then Rainbow Dash has started buying timepieces from me to see how fast she's flying. So that's good. Afterwards, Pinkie came out and traded me the muffins for the necklace, there were a bunch of rainbows, and somehow they turned the giant hideous mutant-thing into a tiny hideous stone knickknack-thing, which Rarity called, I believe, “unbearably tacky.” Again, good, I think. The sky cleared up, anyway. What wasn't good was the time. 1:48. Four minutes to get back home, halfway across town. I ran faster than I ever have before or since. Time slowed down.
Tick... tick...
I don't know if she's that punctual for everyone, or just as a favor to me. But there she is, every day, right at 1:52. And there she is now, flying away.
“Wait! Wait, please!” The words came out as a single wheeze. I really should run more. Or eat hay fries less. Still, she looked back.
I held out the yellow rose, now a bit tattered from all my heroic dodging, and a brown paper bag I hoped I hadn't drooled or sweat on too much as I'd run. “Happy birthday.”
The mailmare turned, flew back, and lightly kissed me on the cheek.
Time stopped.
